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                         THE MADMAN FROM EARTH

                            BY KEITH LAUMER

               You don't have to be crazy to be an earth
                 diplomat--but on Groac it sure helps!

           [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
               Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1962.
         Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
         the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]


                                   I

"The Consul for the Terrestrial States," Retief said, "presents his
compliments, et cetera, to the Ministry of Culture of the Groacian
Autonomy, and with reference to the Ministry's invitation to attend a
recital of interpretive grimacing, has the honor to express regret that
he will be unable--"

"You can't turn this invitation down," Administrative Assistant Meuhl
said flatly. "I'll make th