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                           THE SUPER OPENER

                           BY MICHAEL ZUROY

                    _Here's why you should ask for
                       a "Feetch M-D" next time
                        you get a can opener!_

           [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
              Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958.
         Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
         the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]


"Feetch!" grated Ogden Piltdon, president of the Piltdon Opener
Company, slamming the drafting board with his hairy fist, "I want
results!"

Heads lifted over boards. Kalvin Feetch shrunk visibly.

"As chief engineer you're not carrying the ball," Piltdon went on
savagely. "The Piltdon Can-Opener is trailing the competition.
Advertising and Sales are breaking their necks. It's Engineering
that's mis