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                    RETIEF OF THE RED-TAPE MOUNTAIN

                            by KEITH LAUMER

                 Retief knew the importance of sealed
              orders--and the need to keep them that way!

           [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
                Worlds of If Science Fiction, May 1962.
         Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
         the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]


"It's true," Consul Passwyn said, "I requested assignment as principal
officer at a small post. But I had in mind one of those charming resort
worlds, with only an occasional visa problem, or perhaps a distressed
spaceman or two a year. Instead, I'm zoo-keeper to these confounded
settlers. And not for one world, mind you, but eight!" He stared glumly
at Vice-Consul Retief.

"Still," Retief said, "it gives an opportunity to tr