pos	films adapted from comic books have had plenty of success  whether theyre about superheroes  batman  superman  spawn   or geared toward kids  casper  or the arthouse crowd  ghost world   but theres never really been a comic book like from hell before  for starters  it was created by alan moore  and eddie campbell   who brought the medium to a whole new level in the mid 80s with a 12part series called the watchmen  to say moore and campbell thoroughly researched the subject of jack the ripper would be like saying michael jackson is starting to look a little odd  the book  or  graphic novel   if you will  is over 500 pages long and includes nearly 30 more that consist of nothing but footnotes  in other words  dont dismiss this film because of its source  if you can get past the whole comic book thing  you might find another stumbling block in from hells directors  albert and allen hughes  getting the hughes brothers to direct this seems almost as ludicrous as casting carrot top in  well  anything  but riddle me this  who better to direct a film thats set in the ghetto and features really violent street crime than the mad geniuses behind menace ii society  the ghetto in question is  of course  whitechapel in 1888 londons east end  its a filthy  sooty place where the whores  called  unfortunates   are starting to get a little nervous about this mysterious psychopath who has been carving through their profession with surgical precision  when the first stiff turns up  copper peter godley  robbie coltrane  the world is not enough  calls in inspector frederick abberline  johnny depp  blow  to crack the case  abberline  a widower  has prophetic dreams he unsuccessfully tries to quell with copious amounts of absinthe and opium  upon arriving in whitechapel  he befriends an unfortunate named mary kelly  heather graham  say it isnt so  and proceeds to investigate the horribly gruesome crimes that even the police surgeon cant stomach  i dont think anyone needs to be briefed on jack the ripper  so i wont go into the particulars here  other than to say moore and campbell have a unique and interesting theory about both the identity of the killer and the reasons he chooses to slay  in the comic  they dont bother cloaking the identity of the ripper  but screenwriters terry hayes  vertical limit  and rafael yglesias  les mis  rables  do a good job of keeping him hidden from viewers until the very end  its funny to watch the locals blindly point the finger of blame at jews and indians because  after all  an englishman could never be capable of committing such ghastly acts  and from hells ending had me whistling the stonecutters song from the simpsons for days   who holds back the electric carwho made steve guttenberg a star     dont worry  itll all make sense when you see it  now onto from hells appearance  its certainly dark and bleak enough  and its surprising to see how much more it looks like a tim burton film than planet of the apes did  at times  it seems like sleepy hollow 2   the print i saw wasnt completely finished  both color and music had not been finalized  so no comments about marilyn manson   but cinematographer peter deming  dont say a word  ably captures the dreariness of victorianera london and helped make the flashy killing scenes remind me of the crazy flashbacks in twin peaks  even though the violence in the film pales in comparison to that in the blackandwhite comic  oscar winner martin childs  shakespeare in love  production design turns the original prague surroundings into one creepy place  even the acting in from hell is solid  with the dreamy depp turning in a typically strong performance and deftly handling a british accent  ians holm  joe goulds secret  and richardson  102 dalmatians  log in great supporting roles  but the big surprise here is graham  i cringed the first time she opened her mouth  imagining her attempt at an irish accent  but it actually wasnt half bad  the film  however  is all good  2  00  r for strong violencegore  sexuality  language and drug content 
pos	every now and then a movie comes along from a suspect studio  with every indication that it will be a stinker  and to everybodys surprise  perhaps even the studio  the film becomes a critical darling  mtv films election  a high school comedy starring matthew broderick and reese witherspoon  is a current example  did anybody know this film existed a week before it opened  the plot is deceptively simple  george washington carver high school is having student elections  tracy flick  reese witherspoon  is an overachiever with her hand raised at nearly every question  way  way  high  mr   m   matthew broderick   sick of the megalomaniac student  encourages paul  a popularbutslow jock to run  and pauls nihilistic sister jumps in the race as well  for personal reasons  the dark side of such sleeper success is that  because expectations were so low going in  the fact that this was quality stuff made the reviews even more enthusiastic than they have any right to be  you cant help going in with the baggage of glowing reviews  which is in contrast to the negative baggage that the reviewers were likely to have  election  a good film  does not live up to its hype  what makes election so disappointing is that it contains significant plot details lifted directly from rushmore  released a few months earlier  the similarities are staggering  tracy flick  election  is the president of an extraordinary number of clubs  and is involved with the school play  max fischer  rushmore  is the president of an extraordinary number of clubs  and is involved with the school play  the most significant tension of election is the potential relationship between a teacher and his student  the most significant tension of rushmore is the potential relationship between a teacher and his student  tracy flick is from a single parent home  which has contributed to her drive  max fischer is from a single parent home  which has contributed to his drive  the male bumbling adult in election  matthew broderick  pursues an extramarital affair  gets caught  and his whole life is ruined  he even gets a bee sting  the male bumbling adult in rushmore  bill murray  pursues an extramarital affair  gets caught  and his whole life is ruined  he gets several bee stings  and so on  what happened  how is it that an individual screenplay  rushmore  and a novel  election  contain so many significant plot points  and yet both films were probably not even aware of each other  made from two different studios  from a genre  the high school geeks revenge movie  that hadnt been fully formed yet  even so  the strengths of election rely upon its fantastic performances from broderick  witherspoon  and newcomer jessica campbell  as pauls antisocial sister  tammy  broderick here is playing the mr  rooney role from ferris bueller  and he seems to be having the most fun hes had since then  witherspoon is a revelation  its early in the year  its a comedy  and teenagers have little clout  but for my money  witherspoon deserves an oscar nomination  and once campbells character gets going  like in her fantastic speech in the gymnasium  then youre won over  one thing thats been bothering me since ive seen it  there is an extraordinary amount of sexuality in this film  i suppose that  coming from mtv films  i should expect no less    but the film starts off light and airy  like a sitcom  as the screws tighten  and the tensions mount  alexander payne decides to add elements that  frankly  distract from the story  it is bad enough that mr  m doesnt like tracys determination to win at all costs  but did they have to throw in the studentteacher relationship  even so  theres no logical reason why mr  m has an affair when he does  theres a lot to like in election  but the plot similarities to rushmore  and the tonal nosedive it takes as it gets explicitly sexdriven  mark this as a disappointment  
pos	youve got mail works alot better than it deserves to  in order to make the film a success  all they had to do was cast two extremely popular and attractive stars  have them share the screen for about two hours and then collect the profits  no real acting was involved and there is not an original or inventive bone in its body  its basically a complete reshoot of the shop around the corner  only adding a few modern twists   essentially  it goes against and defies all concepts of good contemporary filmmaking  its overly sentimental and at times terribly mushy  not to mention very manipulative  but oh  how enjoyable that manipulation is  but there must be something other than the casting and manipulation that makes the movie work as well as it does  because i absolutely hated the previous ryanhanks teaming  sleepless in seattle  it couldnt have been the directing  because both films were helmed by the same woman  i havent quite yet figured out what i liked so much about youve got mail  but then again  is that really important  if you like something so much  why even question it  again  the storyline is as cliched as they come  tom hanks plays joe fox  the insanely likeable owner of a discount book chain and meg ryan plays kathleen kelley  the even more insanely likeable proprietor of a familyrun childrens book shop called  in a nice homage  the shop around the corner  fox and kelley soon become bitter rivals because the new fox books store is opening up right across the block from the small business  little do they know  they are already in love with each other over the internet  only neither party knows the other persons true identity  the rest of the story isnt important because all it does is serve as a mere backdrop for the two stars to share the screen  sure  there are some mildly interesting subplots  but they all fail in comparison to the utter cuteness of the main relationship  all of this  of course  leads up to the predictable climax  but as foreseeable as the ending is  its so damn cute and welldone that i doubt any movie in the entire year contains a scene the evokes as much pure joy as this part does  when ryan discovers the true identity of her online love  i was filled with such  for lack of a better word  happiness that for the first time all year  i actually left the theater smiling  
pos	 jaws  is a rare film that grabs your attention before it shows you a single image on screen  the movie opens with blackness  and only distant  alienlike underwater sounds  then it comes  the first ominous bars of composer john williams now infamous score  dahdum  from there  director steven spielberg wastes no time  taking us into the water on a midnight swim with a beautiful girl that turns deadly  right away he lets us know how vulnerable we all are floating in the ocean  and once  jaws  has attacked  it never relinquishes its grip  perhaps what is most outstanding about  jaws  is how spielberg builds the movie  he works it like a theatrical production  with a first act and a second act  unlike so many modern filmmakers  he has a great deal of restraint  and refuses to show us the shark until the middle of the second act  until then  he merely suggests its presence with creepy  subjective underwater shots and williams music  hes building the tension bit by bit  so when it comes time for the climax  the sharks arrival is truly terrifying  he doesnt let us get bored with the imagery  the first act opens with police chief martin brody  roy scheider   a new york cop who has taken an easy  peaceful job running the police station on amity island  a fictitious new england resort town where there hasnt been a murder or a gun fired in 25 years  the island is shaken up by several vicious great white shark attacks right before the fourth of july  and the mayor  larry vaughn  murray hamilton   doesnt want to shut down the beaches because the island is reliant on summer tourist money  brody is joined by matt hooper  richard dreyfuss   a young  ambitious shark expert from the marine institute  hooper is as fascinated by the shark as he is determined to help brody stop it  his knowledge about the exact workings of the shark   its a perfect engine  an eating machine   make it that much more terrifying  when vaughn finally relents  hooper and brody join a crusty old shark killer named quint  robert shaw  on his decrepit boat  the orca  to search for the shark  the entire second act takes place on the orca as the three men hunt the shark  and inevitably  are hunted by it   jaws  is a thriller with a keen sense of humor and an incredible sense of pacing  tension  and horror  it is like ten movies all rolled into one  and its no wonder it took america by storm in the summer of 1975  taking in enough money to crown it the box office champ of all time  until it was unceremoniously dethroned in 1977 by  star wars    even today  fascination with this film is on par with hitchcocks  psycho   and it never seems to age  although grand new technology exists that makes the technical sequences  including several mechanical sharks  obsolete  none of it could improve the film because it only would lead to overkill  the technical limitations faced by spielberg in 1975 may have actually produced a better film because it forced him to rely on traditional cinematic elements like pacing  characterization  sharp editing  and creative photography  instead of simply dousing the audience with digital shark effects  scheider  dreyfuss  and shaw were known actors at the time  jaws  was made  but none of them had the draw of a robert redford or paul newman  nevertheless  this film guaranteed them all successful careers because each gave an outstanding performance and refused to be overshadowed by the shark  scheider hits just the right notes as a sympathetic husband and father caught in the political quagmire of doing whats right and going against the entire town   its your first summer here  you know   mayor vaughn warns him  dreyfuss  who had previously been seen in  american graffiti   1973  and  the apprenticeship of duddy kravitz   1974  gives a surprisingly mature  complex performance for someone who had literally only played kids and teenagers  however  most outstanding is the gnarled performance by robert shaw as the movies captain ahab  a performance sorely overlooked by the academy awards  bordering of parody  shaw plays quint as a grizzled old loner whose machismo borders on masochism  hes slightly deranged  and shaws performance is almost a caricature  however  there is one scene late in the film  when he and brody and hooper are below deck on the orca comparing scars  quint is drawn into telling the story of his experiences aboard the u  s  s  indianapolis  a navy ship in world war ii that was sunk by the japanese  his tale of floating in the water for more than a week with over 1  000 other men while swarms of sharks slowly devoured them them is actually more hairraising than anything spielberg put on screen  shaw delivers the story in one long take  and it is the best acting in the film  of course  we cant leave out the shark itself  with its black eyes  endless rows of teeth  and insatiable urge to eat  it is basically the epitome of all mankinds fears about what is unknown and threatening in nature  a shark is such a perfect nemesis it is real  having survived sinch the dinosaurs  great whites do exist  they can be as large as the shark in  jaws   and they are a threat  every one of spielbergs subjective underwater shots makes us feel queasy because lets us see how we look to the shark  a bunch of writihing  dangling  completely unprotected legs just ready to be chomped into  the shark in  jaws  was actually a combination of actual footage and five different mechanical sharks  all nicknamed  bruce  by the crew  built to be shot from different angles  many have forgotten  but  jaws  was a sort of precursor to  waterworld   1995   a movies who soggy production and cost overruns had universal studios worried about a bomb  but  as we can see now  spielberg overcame all the obstacles  and delivered one of the finest primal scarethrillers ever to come out of hollywood  
pos	moviemaking is a lot like being the general manager of an nfl team in the postsalary cap era  youve got to know how to allocate your resources  every dollar spent on a freeagent defensive tackle is one less dollar than you can spend on linebackers or safeties or centers  in the nfl  this leads to teams like the detroit lions  who boast a superstar running back with a huge contract  but can only field five guys named herb to block for him  in the movies  you end up with films like  spawn   with a huge specialeffects budget but not enough money to hire any recognizable actors  jackie chan is the barry sanders of moviemaking  he spins and darts across the screen like sanders cutting back through the defensive line  watching jackie in operation condor as he drives his motorcycle through the crowded streets of madrid  fleeing an armada of pursuers in identical black compact cars  is reminiscent of sanders running for daylight with the chicago bears in hot pursuit  except that sanders doesnt have to worry about rescuing runaway baby carriages  but like the lions star  jackie doesnt have anybody to block for him  almost every cent thats invested in a jackie chan movie goes for stunts  and as chan does his own stunts  the rest of the money goes to pay his hospital bills  this leaves about 75 cents to pay for things like directors  chan directs   scripts and dubbing and supporting characters  not to mention the hideous title sequence  this also explains why the movie was shot in odd places like morocco and spain   chans first release in this country   rumble in the bronx   was supposedly set in new york  but was filmed in vancouver  and in the chase scenes the canadian rockies are clearly visible   heck  jackie doesnt even have enough money for a haircut  looks like  much less a personal hairstylist  in condor  chan plays the same character hes always played  himself  a mixture of bruce lee and tim allen  a master of both kungfu and slapstickfu  jackie is sent by the un to retrieve a cache of lost nazi gold in the north african desert  and is chased by a horde of neonazi sympathizers and two stereotypical arabs  one of the things i like about jackie chan movies  no political correctness   he is joined by three women  who have little to do except scream   jackie  save us    and misuse firearms  the villain is an old nazi whose legs were broken in the secret base so that he has to be carried everywhere  and hes more pathetic than evil  en route  we have an extended motorcycle chase scene  a hilarious fight in the moroccan version of motel 6 with the neonazis  and two confrontations with savage natives  once at the secret desert base  there is a long chopsocky sequence  followed by the films centerpiece  a windtunnel fight thats even better than the one in faceoff  this is where the money was spent  on wellchoreographed kungfu sequences  on giant kevlar hamster balls  on smashedup crates of bananas  and on scorpions  ignore the gaping holes in the plot  how  exactly  if the villains legs were broken  did he escape from the secret nazi base  and why didnt he take the key with him    dont worry about the production values  or what  exactly  the japanese girl was doing hitchhiking across the sahara  just go see the movie  operation condor has pretentions of being a  raiders of the lost ark  knockoff  but one wonders what jackie could do with the raiders franchise blocking for him  with a lawrence kazdan screenplay  a john williams score  spielberg directing and george lucas producing  condor might be an a movie  however  youve got to go with what youve got  and what youve got in jackie chan is something special  a talent that mainstream hollywood should  could  and ought to utilize  
pos	on june 30  1960  a selftaught  idealistic  yet pragmatic  young man became  at age 36  the first head of government of a newly independent african state  formerly the belgian congo  two months later  he was ousted from his powerful position and hunted by government troops until he was captured and brutally murdered along with two aides  this littleknown story of this meteoric rise and fall is told my international filmmaker raoul peck in  lumumba   patrice lumumbas  eriq ebouaney  story has been told previously by helmer peck in his 1991 award winning documentary   lumumba  death of a prophet   virtually guaranteeing that his new  fictional account of a patriot remains true to its subject  peck  with cowriter pascal bonitzer  begins at the end of the story of the young political leader  we watch as two white men perform the gruesome task of dismembering the bodies of three black men  images of hatchets  saws and fastemptying whiskey bottles accompany the grisly image  jump back a few years to a meeting among the black leaders in the belgianowned congo  a third class postal worker  lumumba  speaks his mind to heads of the most powerful tribes  proclaiming himself not tribal  not regional  but a national leader  his small  mobile party  the congolese national movement  mnc  is gaining prominence and patrice leaves his clerical job to sell beer  and get his face known  in the bustling capital  stanleyville  at a time when the colonial empires are falling down around the world  lumumba is in the right place at the right time and  through political savvy and chesslike manipulation  achieves a position of leadership of the mnc  as the date for independence approaches  he tactically positions himself to be the new nations first prime minister and defense minister  supporting the presidency of joseph kasa vubu  maka kotto   the coalition he created soon starts to fall apart as the former belgian masters continue to exert influence on the struggling nation as they strive to maintain economic hold on the countrys vast natural resources of copper  diamonds  gold and more  lumumba wont seek the help of the us  knowing that they would try to create de facto american control of the fledgling government  his initial investigation into soviet assistance immediately tags patrice as a communist and his integrity is overshadowed by the cold war threat of russian domination  the situation goes from bad to worse as the army mutinies  the remaining whites begin to evacuate or arm themselves  belgian troops violently intervene  the lucrative katanga province succeeds under the leadership of rival moise tschombe  pascal nzonzi  and lumumba is refused access to his own country when he returns from a conference abroad  this tumultuous and little known period of modern african history saw a score of nations struggling for independence from the sometimesodious colonialists who have ruled much of the world from their european seats of power for centuries  peck focuses his story on familiar material that strives to give an honest portrayal of patrice lumumba  his friend and foes and the independence movements that gripped africa in the 50s and 60s   during the time the story takes place  many new nations  including nigeria and somalia  were born  with varying degrees of success and failure  usually dependent upon which country colonized them  some colonial masters were better than others   the effort involved in  lumumba  is quite ambitious as peck and his crew before and behind the camera strive to bring to life this slice of world history that might have gone unexplored for decades  if at all  production values are first rate on what must be a small  by us standards  budget  the period feel and realistic african settings are nicely maintained in a production that traveled from zimbabwe to mozambique  the screenplay covers a lot of ground and does yeomans work in providing a great deal of detailed history while trying to do justice to the story of lumumbas life  the political side of things is evenly told in a linear  straightforward manner that teaches  not preaches  it concentrates on the good deeds of the man  if a bit as a stalwart saint  but doesnt embellish on a larger than life persona  the family side of patrices life is handled in several  perfunctory and brief interludes that show him talking to one of his children  embracing his wife or lamenting the death of his child  i know the intent is to flesh the man out  but too short a shrift is given to the family man side of lumumba  the story  as such  has a lopsided feel about it  high marks go to eriq ebouaney as the title character  the actor gives a convincing  charismatic performance as the multifaceted  politically deft patrice lumumba who has the good of his people and his country as the force driving his own ambitions  in true docudrama tradition  the supporting cast does not outshine the star  complementing his good efforts  instead   lumumba  is a solid  interesting  educational and honest docudrama that should appeal to film buffs and politicos  both  it has more intelligence in its telling than anything ive seen out of hollywood for months and i give it a b  
pos	apparently  director tony kaye had a major battle with new line regarding his new film  american history x  i dont know the details of the fight  but it seems that he is not happy with the final product  and nearly removed his name from the credits altogether  ive heard about this kind of thing happening before  and it makes me wonder how much input a studio has over the films they produce  as it is  i found american history x to be an extremely good film  not just because of tony kayes focused look at the touchy subject of racism  but because of a powerful  charismatic performance from edward norton  its hard to believe that it has only been two years since nortons fantastic role in primal fear  but  here he is now  starring in his own film and making himself a star  norton is one of those performers who becomes his character  and his work in american history x is one of the very best performances this year  he plays a young man named derek vinyard  a skinhead living in venice beach with his brother  danny  edward furlong   mother  beverly dangelo   and sister  davin  jennifer lien   the film opens with a flashback  in which derek brutally kills two black men vandalizing his car  we find out that this lands him in prison  and the film from that point is seen through the eyes of danny  in the presenttime of the film  danny is in high school  and eager to follow the footsteps of his brother  much of the film is told in flashback  and we see the path that leads to dereks adoption of white supremacy  when derek is released  having served three years in prison  he finds that his brother is now a fullblown skinhead  derek  however  has given up the violence  and tries to get his brother to understand why racism and the violence that comes with it are bad things  what makes this all interesting is that these two young men are not stupid  thoughtless people  they are intelligent and articulate  and voice their beliefs in disturbingly straightforward terms  its hard to make a controversial movie and not preach  but kaye has found the right note for his material  because american history x is a mainstream film  there has to be a redemption phase for our main character  some people may think that this is the only way to make him sympathetic  i partially disagree with this  because  although i do not advocate racism in any way  its interesting the way kaye presents derek  he is a loud  obnoxious man  but hes also very smart  the reasons for why he becomes a skinhead are believable  his father was arbitrarily killed by a group of black men  its clear that hes passionate about his beliefs  and that hes not just a punk looking for an excuse to beat people up  of course  it helps that kaye has an actor as talented as norton to play this part  its astonishing how frightening norton looks with a shaved head and a swastika on his chest  in addition to getting the look just right  hes perfect for this role  derek requires intelligence  depth  and a whole lot of shouting  and norton does it all with ease  even when hes at his meanest  derek has a likable quality to him  and thats a gutsy approach when telling a story about a skinhead  what adds depth to the story is a subplot in which the principal of dannys school  avery brooks  becomes obsessed with purging the hatred from danny  the other performances are all terrific  with standouts from furlong  dangelo  and lien  visually  the film is very powerful  kaye indulges in a lot of interesting artistic choices  and most of them work nicely  lots of slowmotion and strange camera angles add to a moody atmosphere  but  like a lot of movies lately  american history x skims past greatness in the last few minutes  although the climactic scene is very moving  the picture ends with a pretentious  preachy resolution featuring a brief narration from a character who was killed  for a movie so smart a subtle up until that point  it felt like a slap in the face to be handfed a theme in such a simplistic way  it makes me wonder what  exactly  tony kaye disliked about the final version of his film  perhaps this last scene was the problem  its hard to imagine any director not being at least partially pleased with a film this good  in a time when so many movies are timid and weak  american history x manages to make a compelling argument for racism without advocating it any way  
pos	one of my colleagues was surprised when i told her i was willing to see betsys wedding  and she was shocked to hear that i actually liked it  her reaction was understandable when you consider that the film revolves around molly ringwald  who hasnt made a worthwhile film since 1986  but the fact is  betsys wedding is also an alan alda film  and while ringwald has been making duds for the last four years  alda has been involved with several noteworthy projects  including crimes and misdemeanors and a new life  written and directed by alda  betsys wedding is a vibrant sliceoflife  mixing a few dramatic moments into a big bowl of whimsical humor  aldas comic elixir is smooth and refreshingand a welcome change of pace from the usual summer fare  as bride and groom  molly ringwald and dylan walsh are the pivotal characters in the film  but they are by far the least interesting  walsh is a nonentity  with all the screen presence of a door knob  ringwald is simply unbearable and is easily the weakest link in the chain  she looks hideous with her shortcropped orange hair  red lipstick and grotesque outfits  shes supposed to be a dress designer  but she looks more like a clown  and to make matters worse  ringwalds performance matches her appearance  thankfully  alda keeps ringwalds screen time to a minimum  he is far more interested in the colorful periphery characters  the wedding is just a device to bring together the brides workingclass  italian family and the grooms rich  gentile family  ringwalds folks are homey and downtoearth  with alda as her freespirited father  madeline kahn as her practical mother  and ally sheedy as her lonely sister  walshs clan  on the other hand  is prim  proper and ostentatious  when the two families meet and mingle  the movie becomes a story of culture clash  or as one character puts it   money versus values   ally sheedy  in a wonderfully understated performance  is one of the films most pleasant surprises  sheedy expresses more with just her eyes than ringwald does with her entire body  its anthony lapaglia  however  who seizes the spotlight  lapaglia plays stevie dee  a suave  overly polite mafioso who is formally courting sheedy with oldfashioned chivalry  lapaglias sincere but dimwitted character is a riot  and whats uncanny is that lapaglia is a dead ringer for robert de niro  with a little bit of alec baldwin thrown in for good measure  lapaglia seems to have attended the de niro school of gangster acting  and his inspired performance is partly a tribute to his rolemodel and partly a ripoff  i dont know whether to say a star is born or a star is reborn  but i do know that lapaglias overthetop performance should not be missed  the scrumptious comic acting  however  extends well beyond sheedy and lapaglia  joe pesci  in particular  sinks his teeth into his role as aldas unscrupulous brotherinlaw  a slum lord with mob ties  who is cheating on his wife  catherine ohara   alda  faced with challenge of both directing and acting  somehow finds just the right comic touch as the brides financiallystrapped father  a carpenter whose dreams are bigger than his wallet  the film adopts aldas psychological point of view as he tries to one  plan the wedding  and two  pay for it  as a filmmaker  aldas style of humor is remarkably restrained and tasteful  and while he doesnt have the comic genius of a woody allen  alda does possess the inspiration to make movies which are ten times more entertaining than the slop which usually passes for comedy  
pos	after bloody clashes and independence won  lumumba refused to pander to the belgians  who continued a condescending and paternalistic relationship with the congo  their officers  particularly general janssens  rudi delhem  in the force publique  the congos army  caused rebellions  undermining lumumba  who was outraged at the rape and murder of belgian nationals  with unrest building  moise tshombe  pascal nzonzi  and the province of katanga  which contained 70 percent of the countrys resources  proclaimed secession  lumumba replaced janssens  making mobutu a colonel  and went on a pacification tour with congolese president joseph kasa vubu  maka kotto   but it was too late  when you want to drown a dog  you say it has rabies   prophesies lumumba of his own fate  peck and bonitzer do an exemplary job telling a complicated tale with a myriad of players  although they frequently succumb to cliche  particularly regarding lumumbas private life  pecks script illuminates bantu sayings like the hand that gives  rules when lumumba uses it with the american ambassador  pecks direction is less assured  with many scenes unfortunately playing like standard television fare  hes served well  though  by his casting of ebouaney in the title role  ebouaney is dynamic  radiating his characters fierce passion for his people and his country  lumumbas intelligence and ability to strategize  even as hes cornered by insurmountable odds  are given life by ebouaney  pecks subject and lead actor elevate his film above its mediocre production   lumumba  is a story that deserves to be told and ebouaneys performance makes the tragedy personally felt  
pos	the american action film has been slowly drowning to death in a sea of asian wirefu copycats  its not a pretty death  and its leaving the likes of schwartznager  stallone  and van damme wearing cement galoshes at the bottom of a kung fu sea  sometimes  the mix results in a mindblowing spectacle unlike any other  quality action with amazing and exciting stunt work  as in 1999s the matrix  can be a real gem  but too often hollywood gets it wrong  even when they pay off chinese directors  flying ninjas and floating karate masters have been replaced by soaring bronx detectives and slow motion kicking scientists  mostly its laughable  in hollywoods rush to emulate the success of the matrix  trademark asian stunt choreography has become more of a joke than an art form  but iron monkey  the latest asian import  shows us how to get it right  iron monkey  actually a reissue of a 1993 film  is the story of a 19th chinese vigilante  rongguang yu   fighting with his own unique style of shaolin kung fu for the rights of the oppressed and the bellies of the hungry  but it is also a piece of the narrative of legendary chinese film hero wong feihong  most recently seen in one of the most overlooked  and possibly best films of 2000  drunken master 2  released in the u  s  as the legend of drunken master   unlike drunken master 2  which stars jackie chan as an adult feihong  iron monkey finds a much younger feihong  szeman tsang  and his father wong keiying  yen chi dan  thrust into the middle of iron monkeys fight against oppression  iron monkey succeeds as no kung fu film since drunken master 2  at times  fighting styles  especially that of monkey himself  do devolve into the ridiculous twinkletoed floating of films like crouching tiger  hidden dragon  director yuen wo ping eventually remembers to bring his action scenes back to earth  iron monkey is at its heart a hardcore  kung fu action film rather than any kind of drama a la crouching tiger  however  there are brief moments of profoundness shared between characters  such as those that pass between our outlaw hero and his goodhearted but misguided enemy  chief fox  in those moments  and in others  iron monkey manages to transcend its mindless kung fu nature to touch the hearts and minds of its audience  while in no way the equal of a masterpiece like drunken master 2  iron monkey dances quite nicely to the invading kung fu tune  aka siunin wong feihung tsi titmalau  
pos	after watching  rat race  last week  i noticed my cheeks were sore and realized that  when not laughing aloud  i had held a grin for virtually all of the films 112 minutes  saturday night  i attended another sneak preview for the movie and damned if i didnt enjoy it as much the second time as the first   rat race  is a great goofy delight  a dandy mix of energetic performances  inspired sight gags and flatout silliness  hands down  this is the most fun film of the summer  the movie begins with zippy retrostyle opening credits that look like they were torn straight out of a 60s slapstick comedy  featuring animated photos of the cast attached to herkyjerky bodies bounding around the screen  then comes the setup  donald sinclair  john cleese   the extremely rich owner of the venetian hotel and casino in las vegas  enjoys concocting unusual bets for his high rolling clients  to that end  he places a half dozen very special tokens in his slot machines  gathering together the lucky token holders  he explains   today you have a chance to play a game where the odds of winning are one in six   the competition is simple  each contestant gets a key that opens a locker in silver city  n  m   containing 2 million in cash  there is a transmitter in every key  so that sinclair and his cronies can keep track of who is ahead  the race has no rules  whichever contestant reaches the locker first gets the money  since it would be wrong to spoil any of the jokes  lets use the next few paragraphs to profile the racers  decked out in flashy  trashy clothing and sporting big hair  vera baker  whoopi goldberg  is in town to reunite with the daughter she gave up for adoption as a baby  she finds that grownup merrill  lanai chapman  is erudite  conservative and more than a little bit wary of this stranger trying to jump into her life  thrown together  it becomes clear that both women share a fierce competitive nature  owen templeton  cuba gooding jr   is currently the most hated man in america  an nfl referee  he cost gamblers all over the country enormous amounts of money by blowing a call in a highprofile game  after escaping from a vengeful cab driver  owen gets to new mexico by masquerading as the driver for a busload of lucy ricardo impersonators heading to a convention  mr  pollini  rowan atkinson  is a cheerful  odd little italian man on holiday in america  he also is narcoleptic and falls asleep at the most inopportune times  pollini hitches a ride with zack  wayne knight   a hypertense ambulance driver carrying a human heart across country for a transplant operation  randy pear  jon lovitz  promised his wife beverly  kathy najimy  and two kids a funfilled vacation in las vegas  fearful that beverly will be angry over his involvement in the race  he claims that he must travel to silver city for a job interview  beverly insists the family stay together  so they hop in the minivan and tear off into the desert  brothers duane  seth green  and blaine  vince vieluf  cody are young  crooked and stupid  blaine has a speech impediment due to his poorly selfdone tongue piercing  and duane is the only person who can come close to understanding him  the boys will stop at nothing to reach their goal  finally  nick shaffer  breckin meyer  is a nononsense lawyerintraining who recruits helicopter pilot tracy faucet  amy smart  for the journey  at first glance  they seem blandly wholesome  but all that changes when tracy buzzes the home of her boyfriend shawn  dean cain  and spies him swimming with another woman  director jerry zucker   airplane    ghost   leaps from racer to racer  periodically returning to las vegas where sinclair and mr  grisham  dave thomas   his personalityimpaired right hand man  continue cooking up bizarre bets for the gamblers  as with any zucker production  a few jokes fall flat  but the momentum of the comedy zooms past those missteps  high points for me include a bit involving kathy bates as a roadside squirrel salesperson and an intricately set up gag that carries jon lovitz and family from a bizarre museum to an outdoor rally  with an utterly tasteless and screamingly funny payoff  had i been part of the filmmaking team  i would have ditched a joke where a key is dropped into a babys clothes and instead had the key get lost in the cleavage of a dozing society matron  it would have drawn the same laugh without the squirminducing hint of child molestation  i also would have selected a different band for a concert sequence  my god  do we really need yet another movie with smash mouth performing  all star   but enough carping   rat race  is a riot  with terrific noholdsbarred performances from the diverse cast  see it  see it again and when the dvd comes out  buy it  because a movie this hilarious will surely have outtakes to die for  
pos	ive noticed something lately that ive never thought of before  pseudo substance  hollywood faking deep meanings in their films  have you ever seen a movie that you really enjoyed  then when you look back  you realize there was something missing  more and more  filmmakers seem to be putting out well rehearsed  melodramatic films that evoke strong connotations of being a great film  but if you step aside and reflect on your movie going experience  you may just discover nothing more than elegantly presented fluff  im not trying to say city of angels is that bad  it had a lot going for it  but somewhere along the way  it faltered  somehow  underneath the seemingly poetic beauty of it all  there was a gigantic hole somebody covered with iridescent performances and glossy cinematography  the predictable ending that shattered our hopes  even though we saw it coming  only added to the disappointment  but for over an hour  city of angels is well worth the time  nicolas cage is seth  a guardian angel who  like hundreds  likely thousands or even millions  of other angels  spends eternity watching over the citizens of mortality  humans never aware of how much celestial intervention occurs in their life  meg ryan  in her most subdued performance yet  plays maggie  a doctor who begins to ponder exactly who it is were fighting against when we fight to keep someone alive  after losing a patient on the surgery table  these questions envelope maggie  and seth  the angel who was there to oversee the patients transition into the afterlife  is immediately captivated by the doctor  he begins following and observing maggie  falling more and more in love with her everyday  angels  who we quickly learn are not and never were humans  can not experience human sensations such as taste and touch  but they do have the ability to make themselves seen to anyone they desire  seths adoration is too much to resist  and eventually he does appear to maggie  quite regularly  although such a thing seems taboo among the angelic community  the angels are interestingly presented  all of them dressed in black and more reminiscent of hitmen than traditional glowing white entities  but its a nice touch that never seems like a mere attempt at uniqueness  cage is a wonderfully versatile actor  think faceoff  raising arizona  and it could happen to you  what a combo   who slips into the role of a heavenly agent quite nicely but threatens sappiness more than once  its nice to see ryan pick up roles like this and the one in courage under fire  the two arent very comparable to each other  but they both deviate from her usual  intelligently ditzy  romantic comedy roles  and its an impressive side of ryan movie goers rarely have the chance to enjoy  but even though the two leads do an impressive job  it is dennis franz who grabs us with his interpretation of a hospital patient who knows more than meets the eye  its a shame that with so much going for it  city of angels falters so much in its final stages  leaving us with the realization that an emotionally incredible movie was out there  they just didnt know quite how to get to it  they struggle for an impacting conclusion and wind up with painful thud rather than an exhilarating high  filmmakers should know your final impression will be the one you linger on  remember  and convey to others thru word of mouth  so after telling us for 60 minutes that this film is a glorious masterpiece  they sure leave us with a disheartening taste of mediocrity in our mouths  based on the german film wings of desire  that being the english title  of course   city of angels is ninety percent success  enough to make most people forgive its shortcomings  even the devastatingly disappointing ending  most movie goers  the noncynics anyway  will be too wrapped up in the surreal atmosphere to give criticism to that which needs to be criticized  nonetheless  city of angels is beautifully captivating  which is probably enough to satisfy those poetic viewers who will appreciate a delve into rich emotional territories  
pos	synopsis  bobby garfield  yelchin  lives in a small town with his mirthless widowed mother  hope davis   bobbys world revolves around his friends  especially the spritely carol  boorem   then one day  a new boarder arrives at bobbys house  ted brautigan  hopkins  is an enigmatic man to whom bobby takes an immediate liking  as the bond between bobby and ted deepens  bobby becomes privy to teds great secret  an event which will change both of their lives forever  review  a small but enchanting movie   hearts in atlantis  easily recalls another kinginspired comingofage film   stand by me   both in terms of its setting and the sentiment it conveys   hearts  is a tribute to the magic of childhood  to those summers when the days seem neverending  and nothing means more than your closest friends  unlike  stand by me   there is a supernatural element to  hearts   but although it is key to the plot  it is not prominent  like  stand by me   this is a mostly characterdriven film  and as such it benefits greatly from superb casting  yelchin is very good as bobby  finding a good mix of innocence and resignation  more splendid still is boorem  whom i praised highly for her work in  along came a spider  and who is simply radiant here as carol  and then there is hopkins  who despite playing such a quiet  introspective character as ted  nonetheless commands our attention every time he is onscreen  less successful is davis  whose strident elizabeth comes across as overly cartoonish  i also found it odd that bobby and carols other friend  sully  whose death as an adult sets up the movies flashback framing device   is paid virtually no attention  but hicks direction is lovely without being cloying  and despite the movies general lack of incident  it never ceases to weave its spell over the audience  
pos	synopsis  in this movie  steven spielberg  one of todays finest directors  attempts to spice up the 1800s story of a long courtroom battle over the fate of prisoner cinque  djimon hounsou    a young angry man from sierra leone who was kidnapped into slavery   and his fellow prisoners  cinque and friends have landed a ship on the shores of america after escaping spanish slave traders  but since the americans dont speak cinques language  the black men are hauled into court to determine whether or not they are legally slaves  technically  since the international slave trade was outlawed at that time  people like cinque couldnt be kidnapped into slavery  one had to be born a slave to be legally considered a slave  lawyers baldwin and adams  matthew mcconaughey and anthony hopkins  must prove cinque and the others were captured into slavery  rather than born slaves  in order to get them out of prison as free men  three lengthy court cases are portrayed with spielbergs trademark panache   flashy beginning  lots of facial closeups  big music  and dramatic imagery  a final speech by adams is followed by an anticlimax where subtitles show what eventually happened to the various characters  opinion  making a fictional movie is easier than making one about real life  in fiction  one invents purposeful  clearcut good guys and bad guys  puts the fictional characters in conflict  and takes the tale to its exciting conclusion  real life  however  consists of long stretches of boredom with a few dramatic moments and characters who stand around  think thoughts and do nothing  or come and go before events are resolved  spielberg gives us a visually spicy and historically accurate real life story  djimon hounsou and anthony hopkins turn in excellent performances  
pos	the police negotiator is the person with the entirely unenviable job of going into ground zero and attempting to talk a dangerous criminal out of doing whatever he or she intends to do  lives are often at stake  and the criminal is usually armed and most likely mentally unstable  prone to turn on the negotiator at a moments notice  the negotiator must therefore be something of an actor  psychologist  and sham artist  in addition to being a police officer  he must be able to think on his feet and either work toward the goal of ending the confrontation without violence  or failing that  must be prepared to facilitate the conclusion of the crisis through firepower  most of all  the negotiator must be able to enter a situation with as little intelligence about the scenario as possible  and quickly gain control of the situation  dominate the conversation  and influence the perpetrator into thinking that the end of the conflict is what he really wants  it takes a pretty smart person to do that  but what if the hostageholding criminal is just as smart  what if hes also able to think on his feet  in fact  what if he also knows all the tricks to turning the situation to his favor  it is this circumstance which forms the basis for f  gary grays the negotiator  in this film  police negotiator danny roman  samuel l  jackson  is tipped off by his partner to corruption within the chicago police force  when his partner turns up shot to death and internal affairs finds incriminating evidence in romans home  roman becomes the prime suspect of both embezzling from the police disability fund and murder  faced with the scorn of most of the police department  and under close scrutiny by the media  roman is forced to turn in his badge in one of those typical scenes in the captains office  i dont quite remember if the captain actually said   i hate to do this  but      although it wouldnt surprise me if he did  luckily  the film soon shakes off the conventionalism and concentrates on the interesting premise mentioned above  after being offered a takeitorleaveit deal by the district attorney  roman resolves to prove his innocence by walking into the office of internal affairs inspector niebaum  j  t  walsh   taking him and others hostage  and proclaiming he has been framed  although romans actions seem forced due to the compressed nature of his motivational buildup  gray redeems himself by involving us with the negotiations between roman and fellow police negotiator chris sabian  kevin spacey  which soon ensue  jackson  while a superb actor  is miscast in the role of roman  the actor has become so popular  and so often identified as a protagonist  notable exceptions can be found  such as in jackie brown   that we as an audience have a difficult time believing he will carry out his threats  the script also clearly sets him up as the good guy who is only trying to prove his innocence  how can we believe hes going to shoot a hostage  no matter if the hostage tried to kill him earlier  unfortunately  this preconception saps the film of some of its wouldbe suspenseful moments  and anything good left in those scenes is largely attributed to jacksons acting ability  almost every time hes in a scene  jackson steals it without looking back  when spacey appears  the film has already run about a third of its course  his is an interesting character  made out to be some kind of negotiating superman  our first look at him has him hopelessly trying to get his family moving to set out on vacation   i can talk a man out of blowing up the sears tower  but i cant talk my wife out of the bedroom or my daughter off the phone   he says  when he gets the call to action  however  he quickly changes gears and becomes the man we expect him to be  soon  his character has to negotiate not only with roman  but also with the swat commander  david morse  who is itching to send in a team to take roman out  all the while keeping wary of the fbi agents who are waiting to take over the operation  should negotiations fail  this complex set of pressures are reflected well in sabian the negotiator and spacey the actor  as the second protagonist  spacey measures up nicely  gray really lucked out with this cast  david morse as commander beck  ron rifkin as commander frost  and john spencer as police chief al travis are all more than competent  and can hold their own in scenes with jackson and spacey  the only problem is the bit of typecasting that results from these choices  morse played a similar role in the rock  rifkin played the d  a  in l  a  confidential  and spencer played a police detective in cop land  with the level of acting  however  this can be forgiven  also in the supporting cast  paul giamatti as rudy  one of the hostages  is notable for the comic relief he provides  his character is initially so slimy  and giamatti himself just looks so shifty  that you expect to laugh before he even says anything  fortunately  this doesnt distract from the seriousness of the rest of the film  but instead provides some nice breathers from the level of tension which gray manages to sustain throughout  j  t  walsh  as the suspicious internal affairs inspector  clocks in with one of his final performances  sadly  the talented but underrated actor passed away in late february of this year  and the soon to be released pleasantville will mark his last film  walsh appeared in dozens of movies such as good morning vietnam  backdraft  and nixon  for one of his best performances  check out sling blade  in which he plays a mental patient sharing a ward with billy bob thornton  when jack nicholson accepted his best actor oscar in march  walsh was one of the men to whom he credited his success  the actors performed together in a few good men   the negotiator is actually dedicated to walsh  and while inspector niebaum may not have been his best role  it certainly characterizes the type of character for which walsh had become most famous for playing  in the end  the negotiator has a plotline that parallels its reality  were served with the premise that two equally deft negotiators are battling each other to resolve the conflict in the manner which will suit each of them best  as an audience  were also given a situation where two wonderfully talented actors are thrown into a movie  and wed like to see if one will dominate the film  both provide some pretty good entertainment  
pos	plot  a young man who loves heavy metal music and especially the band steel dragon  to whom hes devoted a tribute band in which he sings  gets launched into stardom when the real group get rid of their lead singer and call on him to take his place  critique  im a sucker for movies like this  a young man with a humble background and lofty dreams  works hard  devotes the time  the energy and the patience  and ultimately hits it bigtime  in the case of this film  our boy loves a certain heavy metal band and as luck would have it  yup  luck always finds its way into these types of equations  although generally tied very closely to hard work   they need a new singer  his entry and adaptation to the whole  rock n roll  lifestyle fills the rest of the film and is really fun to watch  although i will preface this by saying that one thing that would definitely enhance your appreciation for this film is your own love  or past love  of heavy metal music and the whole scene around it  metal was one of my first loves as a teen and even though the genre of music isnt that prominent anymore  i still check out my motley crue  twisted sister and anthrax cds every now and again  thats not to say that you wont like this film if you dont like the music  but the music and live performances from the band  play a big part in the movie  and i for one  had a blast watching and listening to it all  but the even greater draw in this film is the standout performance given here by mark wahlberg  wow  hand this fella some major props  as he totally becomes this heavy metal geekgod  incidentally  metal god was the films original title  and a much better one if you ask me   he is this movie and i was quite taken by his character pretty much the whole way through  he came off like a regular guy with extremely passionate goals and work ethic  who was willing to do anything in order to fulfill his dreams  aniston was also surprisingly good as the girlfriend  and the romance angle between them was sweet   but she didnt pull me in hard enough during their emotional scenes  i was also impressed by some of the  real  musicians who played in the film  zakk wylde from ozzy osbourne  jeff pilson from dokken  stephan jenkins from third eye blind  blas elias from slaughter   but actor dominic west as kirk cuddy made the biggest impression among the band members  its to note that this film was based on a reallife tale of a young man who used to sing in a judas priest cover band and then went on to become their actual singer  their original singer also admitted to being gay  as in this film   just for the record  im certainly not recommending this film for its originality or surprise elements  since most of this stuff has already been covered in some way or another in other movies  but because its a fun  uplifting  wellpaced movie with a solid central showing by wahlberg and energetic live performances  oh yeah  and for those who dig the  heavier  side of music  the soundtrack also rocks   you see    dreams can come true    wheres joblo coming from  almost famous  810   blow  810   boogie nights  910   detroit rock city  810   girlfight  610   goodfellas  1010  
pos	carry on matron is the last great carryon film in my opinion  made in 1972  it still features most of the regulars of this genre  sid james plays the head of a gang of crooks intent on stealing contraceptive pills from the local maternity hospital and selling them off to make a profit  kenneth williams is sir bernard cutting  head of the hospital but also a hypochondriac  hattie jacques retakes her role as matron  and charles hawtrey is the psychiatrist dr  goode  the jokes come in fast and so do the laughs  with humorous antics between the matron and sir bernard  this time  williams is after matron  jacques  when he needs to prove himself that he is a man after visiting dr  goode  the doctor  hawtrey  is sworn to secrecy    i assure you  that anything you say to me today will go in one ear and straight out of the other   bernard thinks he is having a sex change and needs to prove himself  there are great cameos from joan sims  an expectant mother who is many weeks overdue and is eating constantly in every scene  and from kenneth connor as the expectant father who still thinks hes at work  at the railway station   sid james gang including cyril his son  kenneth cope  try to find out where the pills are by getting cyril to dress up as a nurse and live in at the nurses home  he has to share a room with nurse ball  barbara windsor  and she soon sees through him  the film ends with the attempted robbery of the hospitals pills with panic ensuing  there are good performances by hattie jacques as the matron  however her character seems a little more subdued and quieter than her previous matrons  williams is  as usual  on top form  but sid james isnt given a very good part in this movie and i would forgive anyone to forget that he was in the movie at all  the same does not go for charles hawtrey  for although he only first appears in the movie after 30 minutes gone and has scarce screen time  he seems to steal every scene he is in  by not making use of sid james and barbara windsors talent to full effect  the film seems to flounder  but it certainly makes up for it with its good storyline and its other appealing characters  this film is genuinely funny and i could watch it again and again and not get bored  
pos	the ultimate match up between good and evil   the untouchables  is an excellent movie because it looks deeper into an already examined rivalry  based on the 1959 television show of the same title   the untouchables  may be an exaggeration of the real life events that took place  but it fits together perfectly with some beautifully filmed action sequences  some excellent acting  a memorable score  and a clever script  the film takes place in chicago during the prohibition era where mobsters led by the ruthless al capone run an underground market of liquor to the demanding public  elliot ness and a small force of men known as the untouchables attempt the impossible by trying to stop capone and trying to maintain peace and order  however  as ness soon learns  in order to stabilize peace  you have to bend a few laws  the fact that capone is evil is very apparent from the first few scenes  the film begins with capone  played perfectly by deniro  declaring that he is not a violent man and he is a firm believer in following all laws  the film then quickly transfers to the next scene in which one of capones men bombs a restaurant that contains many innocent people including a little girl  from this point we know capone is evil  not only because he kills without hesitation  but also because he is a lying bastard  right from the first five minutes of the film  de palma has created a hatred towards capone and he shows that this man must be brought down at all costs  this developed hatred is before the films hero  ness  is even introduced  i found this approach to be very clever because in a small duration of time there is a great amount of admiration for ness and an equal amount of hatred for capone  the film only gets better from this point  with the formation of the untouchables  there is a group of men wearing long  dark overcoats and hats  they walk in unison and they only look forward  as they walk down the streets they are observed and feared by citizens  holding shot guns and pistols in their hands to stop criminals  this image of vigilantes must have influenced future films  one that comes to mind is  the matrix  when neo  morpheus  trinity  and the rest of the gang first come into the virtual world  wearing more futuristic outfits of the same 1930s style  the similarities between these two are countless   the untouchables  has some of the hippest  bravest heroes in any action film  the four members were the only ones willing to go against capones army  each member of this special group also had their own characteristics that separated them from others  elliot ness  played with perfect ingenuity by kevin costner  is a character that surely grows during the course of the film  he begins as a man who is determined to follow all laws no matter how unfair they may be  however  as the film develops so does ness  his beliefs involving the law are shattered when he realizes that those he trusted are actually members of the other side  he also begins to lose his stability when his adversaries begin to murder his friends  his anger becomes so thunderous that he can no longer hold it in  sean connery  who won an academy award for best supporting actor in his role  plays malone  an aging cop who decides to make one final run as a member of the untouchables  malone acts as a mentor to ness  he teaches him  the chicago way  to do things  when they attack with a knife  you attack with a gun  connery plays his character with the exact amount of wit and experience needed  andy garcia does a wonderful job as george stone  a young man who is just becoming a police officer  as ness grows  he begins to teach stone some valuable lessons that malone once taught him  charles martin smith is also fantastic as the final member who attempts to use an income tax offense against capone  smith is perfect for his role as he adds some valuable comic relief to the film  the action scenes are also some of the most beautifully choreographed i have ever seen  also very similar to  the matrix   they are exciting and intense  from a westernlike battle to the famous confrontation at the train station steps  the scenes are well thought out and well executed  the score during these scenes ingeniously adds to the excitement  its pounding drum beats act as a rhythm for the actors  the combination of image and music is very impressive and also very effective  although the real life untouchables may have been excessively glorified  this film is pure entertainment and contains a unique blend of great acting  great directing  and great action  some scenes  capone and the baseball bat  the train station  have stuck in my mind for years and seeing them again will only make them more vivid  
pos	having not seen   who framed roger rabbit  in over 10 years  and not remembering much besides that i liked it then  i decided to rent it recently  watching it i was struck by just how brilliant a film it is  aside from the fact that its a milestone in animation in movies  its the first film to combine real actors and cartoon characters  have them interact  and make it convincingly real  and a great entertainment its also quite an effective comedymystery  while the plot may be somewhat familiar the characters are original  especially baby herman  and watching them together is a lot of fun  the story begins in hollywood in 1947  cartoon star roger rabbit is blowing takes and having trouble keeping his mind on work  so hardboiled private detective eddie valiant  bob hoskins  is called in by studio head r  k  maroon  alan tilvern  to try to help get rogers mind back on work  maroon thinks that rogers wife  jessicas  possible unfaithfulness to him might be the cause of distraction and tells eddie to get some photos of her in the act before it costs him any more money in reshoots  valiant takes some photos of jessica playing  patty cake with marvin acme  stubby kaye   the owner of toontown  where all of the cartoon characters live  and takes them to maroon  upon seeing them  roger is emotionally destroyed and soon after acme is found dead and roger rabbit is the prime suspect  the rest of the movie follows valiant and roger as they run around town  and eventually toontown  trying to clear rogers good name  along the way they meet judge doom  christopher lloyd  a judgejuryand executioner type whos out to get roger and has discovered the one and only way to kill a toon   who framed roger rabbit won 4 academy awards including a special achievement award for richard williams for animation direction and creation of the cartoon characters  williams and his teams went through the film frame by frame and hand drew the cartoon characters in   director robert zemekis must be given an equal amount of praise for overseeing the entire production  which included hundreds of animators  also bob hoskins performance should be credited  he  in addition to the rest of the human cast  finds the right note to play in all of the scenes with his cartoon costars  according to the internet movie database  hoskins studied his young daughter to learn how to act with imaginary characters and i guess his hard work paid off  who framed roger rabbit is a rare film  one that not only presented a great challenge to the filmmakers but one that can be enjoyed by the whole family  although some very young viewers may be a little scared by judge doom   do yourself a favor and rent it  ppppplease   
pos	theres something about ben stiller that makes him a popular choice among casting directors these days  stiller currently has three projects in circulation  and what other actor can lay claim to that  hes in  theres something about mary   which i  still  havent seen  and hes in the acerbic  your friends  neighbors   playing a talkative  sexuallyfrustrated drama coach called jerri  now theres  permanent midnight   in which stiller plays another jerry  this one a heroinaddicted television writer  last name stahl  theres also something about this industry that pushes bankable stars like stiller into doing drugaddiction pictures the minute theyve proved themselves commercially  ewan mcgregor springs to mind who  after successful turns in  emma  and  brassed off   received greater respect and admiration for his mindblowing realization as renton in danny boyles transatlantic junkfest   trainspotting   the philosophy appears to be a simple one  if you want em to be taken seriously  make em do drugs   permanent midnight  is based on the true life experiences of jerry stahl  a successful hollywood writer who  in the mideighties  had a 5  000aweek job churning out plotlines for disposable tv sitcoms and a 6  000aweek heroin habit  a habit  in stahls own words   the size of utah   as stahl  stiller contributes a commanding performance  unlike  trainspotting   which was successful in having it both ways by chronicling both the highs and the lows of heroin abuse   permanent midnight  instead focuses on the concept of drug addiction as maintenance  one of the earliest observations in the film is a casual reference to  naked lunch  author william s  burroughs who  when asked why he shoots up first thing in the morning responds   so i can shave   stahl rarely appears to be puncturing veins for the thrill of it all in  permanent midnight   its so he can talk to his mother on the phone  show up for work on time  even pay his bills  while the film itself occasionally wobbles around along with stahl  the writing  adapted from stahls autobiography by director david veloz  is controlled and pointed   permanent midnight  shows how stahl moved from new york to l  a  toagain in the authors words  escape the drug scene   yeah  right   why he entered into a convenient marriage with a british tv exec  elizabeth hurley  so impossibly polite youd swear her single profanity was dubbed   and that he conceived a child in between his random hirings and firings  stahl narrates all this in a motel bedroom to a sympathetic lover called kitty  norristowns own maria bello  with whom he spent some rehab time  janeane garofalo is wastedand miscastas a heavilybespectacled hollywood talent agent who fails to get her hooks into the dopedup wordsmith  and thats stahl himself playing a jaded clinic counselor  stiller  unshaven  burroughs take note  and with lots of mascara around the eyes  has stahl stumble through the film looking like a train wreck but  to his credit  never once pushes his pillpopping  needlejabbing performance over the top  the ubiquitous stiller is the reason to see  permanent midnight   a dark  comic  and strangely absorbing study of assisted living  
pos	by phil curtolo mel gibson  braveheart  gave a gripping performance as the father of a young kidnapped boy in ron howards ransom  gibson plays tom mullen  a wealthy business tycoon whose past actions are coming back to haunt him as a deranged psychopath  played by gary sinise  forrest gump   and his band of lowlife thugs kidnap his only son for 2 million  tom and his wife  kate  played by rene russo  tin cup  were instructed not to inform the police  but they contacted the fbi  minutes later  an elite team of agents led by delroy lindo  broken arrow  are in toms house and wiring every phone  the plot sounds average  just like most other kidnap movies that youve already seen  and it was nothing more than that  that is until about halfway through the movie  suddenly  tom goes to the fox 5 news room and makes a live broadcast saying   this is your ransom  but this is as close as you will ever get to it  instead  i am offering this money as a reward on your head  dead or alive   at this point  the plot thickened  and the unusually slow start of the film turned into a suspensefilled action film with great stunts  the last half of the film is very well done  another thing that carries this film are the superb performances by gibson and sinise  as they collide in a game of wits over their cellular phones for most of the movie  owen gleiberman of entertainment weekly commented on the subject   it makes you wonder what kidnappers did before cell phones   before this movie  sinise played mostly  good guys   first in of mice  men  then in forrest gump  and most recently  in apollo 13  but he was surprisingly devilish and cold in his portrayal of a copgonebad  gibson  of course  was just being gibson  in an oscarworthy performance  although most of the scenes were quite predictable  ransom is a very entertaining and suspenseful film   
pos	one can not observe a star trek movie and expect to see serious science fiction  the purpose of star trek is to provide flashy  innocent fun  sometimes the stories are compelling  sometimes theyre not  but  with the exception of the first film in the series  which provides little more than endless shots of amazed faces   ive never been bored by any of the enterprises numerous missions  star trek  insurrection is no exception  the film has gotten some negative reviews  a friend of mine actually thinks its the worst in the series   but im not really sure why  its an exciting  often hilarious movie that engaged me and left me ready for the next star trek film  some say its a bit too light  and more of a long episode than a film  others say the special effects are cheesy and that its boring  i simply enjoyed the film  insurrection  which is the second film to feature strictly the next generation cast  introduces us to a race of people called the baku  the baku are very old  most of them are about three hundred years old   but they actually appear younger with age due to strange radiation in the rings of their planet  of course  these peaceful people cant horde this fountain of youth all for themselves  leave it up to their archenemies  the sona  led by ruafo  f  murray abraham   to mess everything up  the sona  who are horribly disfigured and rely on daily reconstructive surgery to be aesthetically acceptable  strike a deal with the federation to move the baku elsewhere and exploit the secret to keep their race from dying  thats when captain picard  patrick stewart  steps in  he realizes that moving the baku would kill them  it also helps that he falls in love with a baku woman  donna murphy    so  with his trusty crew  picard defies the federation to keep the baku in their natural habitat  when dealing with a series with as much history as this  its not entirely necessary to reintroduce your characters with each episode  this is why i believe nonfans have a hard time getting into star trek  in order to enjoy it  one has to understand how to approach it  insurrection  however  does a surprisingly good job of us new aspects of the characters  stewart is bold as always  a magnetic screen presence and perfectly capable of holding an entire film together  jonathan frakes  who also directed  is funny as commander riker  a subplot with data  brent spiner  discovering his lost childhood is fairly interesting  and abraham makes a perfect star trek villain  overacting like crazy  frakes showed similar aptitude for direction in first contact  insurrection is an exciting film  with some really attractive special effects and a lot of good action  this is apparently the first star trek film to utilize computer animation  and the result is very pleasing to the eye  particularly in the climactic scenes  in which the sona employ a giant space ship to suck up the rings of the baku planet  the special effects have a clean  impressively sharp look  if i have any complaint about the film  its that it tries to take a moral stance when its not very appropriate to do so  i dont think its that big of a deal that the federation wanted to move 600 baku in order to save the lives of thousands  better yet  why couldnt they have coexisted  insurrection feels a little to light to spring these kinds of big moral questions on the audience  with its inherent camp factor  the star trek series doesnt seem wellequipped to deal with issues like this  i prefer to just enjoy the spectacle  
pos	a fully loaded entertainment review  website coming in july  from ace ventura to truman burbank  jim carrey has run the whole gamut of comic  yet sympathetic  characters  1996s the cable guy was supposed to be his big  breakthrough  role from zany humor into darker  more dramatic acting  as most everyone knows  the results were  well  lessthanstellar  not only did the film not do so hot at the box office  but it was also panned by critics  as far as i know  gene siskel and i are the only ones willing to admit that we dug it  the first time i saw the cable guy  in theatres  i was in super criticmode  and didnt really like it  however  due to the fact that hbo shows the movie every single day  ive had time to lean back  relax  and take in the film  and to my surprise  it grew on me  the plot is rather simple  broderick plays a guy named steven who befriends his cable guy  played by carrey  then is stalked by him when steven tries to break off the relationship  see  stevens been having some problems with his girlfriend  robin  leslie mann   and he doesnt think he has any more room in his life for a new friend  also  some of the cable guys antics have been creeping him out  carrey  as the cable guy  gives steven various aliases  which later we find out are all tv characters  larry tate  chip douglas  ricky ricardo  etc  he apparently lives in his cable van  and while many critics didnt enjoy this newer  darker  lessmanic performance from carrey  i thought it was interesting and rather welldone  for me  its not the movie as a whole thats enjoyable  but rather several individual scenes  a karaoke jam at stevens apartment  a medieval fight at a theme restaurant  and a bathroom beating  a la liar  liar   just to name a few  perhaps the fact that more of carreys humorous side comes out during these scenes is what makes them so funny  and if you really want to see something  youve got to hear his version of jefferson airplanes  somebody to love   sung at the aformentioned karaoke jam  the cable guy has its bad spots  like most any movie  i didnt particularly like stevens girlfriend  and i felt that more focus should have been used on the relationship between steven and his best friend  also  the ending  while having you fooled for a moment  is rather contrived  and somewhat dissapointing  still  i found the cable guy to be a worthwhile venture  if youre at the video store and cant think of anything to rent  i suggest you try it out  or if you have hbo  just wait till it comes on  you wont have to wait long   hell  thats what i do every day  
pos	when bulworth ended  i allowed myself a sigh of relief   it is possible for me to enjoy political satire   there have been several recent political films that didnt do a whole lot for me  wag the dog  for instance  i found to be an intelligent but heartless film  while primary colors is unbearable and unwatchable in its awfulness   bulworth is a far better film than these  both in its execution and lasting impression   its a tremendously funny and intelligent picture  but it also has an emotional center  writerdirectorstar warren beatty allows the audience to identify with his character  and  in turn  we like him and actually care about the story   beatty plays incumbent democratic senator jay billington bulworth  the film opens and we see bulworth sobbing as he watches his television spots over and over again   he hasnt slept in days  nor has he eaten  and  almost instantaneously  he goes insane   hes not stark raving mad  not outright  anyway   but hes definitely bonkers   its the final weekend of his campaign  and his assistant  murphy  oliver platt  has written him a speech to feed to a group of black people in a church in the ghetto   bulworth begins the speech  but suddenly goes off track and just starts being honest    you mean   one lady asks   the democratic party doesnt care about the african american community     well   he shouts  laughing   isnt that obvious   the story is propelled by a device in which bulworth puts out a contract on his own life  he muses later that its a bad thing to make decisions when youre suicidal   he keeps seeing a man in sunglasses  graham beckel  whom he believes to be the hitman   bulworth also meets nina  halle berry  with whom he becomes infatuated   suddenly  in the short span of this weekend  bulworths nononsense  truth in politics  methods become a national sensation  and he shoots ahead in the polls despite the fact that hes appearing on television wearing gang clothes and spewing more profanity than coherent sentences  beattys work on both sides of the camera is excellent   his script and direction are both extremely sharp  as is the surprisingly strong characterization of bulworth himself   here is a man whos reached his limit  and his way of lashing back is by screwing over the entire political structure   i like that the film doesnt take a clear shot at any of the political parties or affiliations  but at politics in general and how everything is run by the rich  although the antirich sentiments do get a bit tiresome by the end of the film    some of the segments are simply hilarious  such as a lengthy rap that he delivers at a luncheon dedicated to him   much of the film is completely absurd  but thats the fun part about it   its an angry  serious film at the core  but the package that beatty has created is so much more accessible than recent attempts in the genre   what adds to this feeling is beattys portrayal of bulworth  this is a performance that deserves recognition on a higher scale   beatty is so much fun to watch here  hes always funny  but hes also subtle in ways that flesh out his character without dialogue or hugely noticeable actions   beatty is so good that bulworth  despite his shortcomings as a human being  is an entirely sympathetic and likable character almost from the beginning  the supporting cast is vast and colorful   berry is luminous  as always  and adds to her repertoire of solid supporting roles   don cheadle has a good role as a drug dealer who uses guntoting toddlers to do his dirty work   oliver platt is an actor who should be careful  for someday i fear he may induce a heart attack with the intensity of his acting  though hes very funny to watch    paul sorvino adds the southern accent to his list of mastered inflections  is bulworth offensive   i suppose some may see it that way   i wasnt offended by the film  but then again  i hardly care about politics   i think that people who find this film offensive will just be blindsided by the honesty of the story   the film isnt perfect  of course  the ending didnt quite work for me  and the a few of the scenes between bulworth and nina feel forced  although the eclectic dance sequence is fantastic    but these are minor quibbles about an otherwise brilliant film   bulworth is a smart  uproariously funny picture that proves to me that political satire can scratch far deeper than the surface   
pos	call 911 for the cliche police if you must  but the eyes are the window to the soul  the finest actors working in films are those who can command the screen with a gaze  paul newman  ralph fiennes  anthony hopkins  morgan freeman  you look at these men on screen and you can tell without them saying a word that there is something going on in their minds  that the characters they play are real human beings  we will never have a chance to discover if tupac shakur could have been a great actor  but he had that unique quality in his eyes  in gridlockd  an oddly effective combination of gritty drama and social satire  shakur and his costar tim roth take sketchy characters and make them exciting to watch through the pure energy of their talent and chemistry  shakur and roth play ezekiel  spoon  whitmore and alexander  stretch  rome  two detroit buddies who share a spoken wordjazz trio  an apartment and a drug addiction with cookie  thandie newton   when a new years eve party ends with cookie comatose after a drug overdose  spoon and stretch begin to wonder if they are living on borrowed time  they soon make a new years resolution to get into rehab  but that proves to be easier said than done  as though the temptation to fix were not hindrance enough  spoon and stretch also find their attempts to get clean hitting a road block of bureaucracy  confusion and red tape  the government might be the least of their obstacles  however  as they find themselves suspects in the murder of a drug dealer  and on the run from a nasty thug  vondie curtis hall   in order for you to buy into gridlockd at all  you have to accept it as a surreal odyssey rather than as urban realism  unless spoon and stretch sleep through an entire day at the hospital after bringing in cookie  they are going to government offices on new years day  in which case they should be thankful they get any help at all  gridlockd may actually be a response to the fatuous social commentary of another urban odyssey  1991s falling down  which found a besieged middle class white male venting his righteous anger against the system during a trek through inner city los angeles  in falling down  michael douglas dfens  the characters personalized license plate  echoed in gridlockd by the drug lord drepers plates  whips out a gun because he cant get breakfast at mcdonalds  in gridlockd  spoon and stretch are unarmed against the demands placed on them before they can get into a rehab center  and where the unhinged dfens became a heroic surrogate for audiences  writerdirector vondie curtis hall refuses to let spoon and stretch off the hook for their own part in the situation  one bureaucrat responds to a tirade from stretch with the question   do you expect the world to stop    just because you picked today to clean up   the world in gridlockd is just as frustrating as the world in falling down  but the cathartic moments yield no easy answers this time  hall has some interesting things to say about what we expect from the system  but perhaps not enough of them  a significant chunk of gridlockd is devoted to spoon and stretchs flight from dreper and from the police  and those subplots serve up some thoroughly predictable moments  in one scene  stretch scares off dreper by getting chummy with a police officer  another presents that old chestnut of the two mistakenlysuspected heroes in a public place watching a television news report of the crime which shows their pictures  the entire sequence of events seems designed merely as an excuse to get spoon and stretch running  while the other primary plot has them standing in line or sitting down much of the time  hall also plays with gratuitous inserts of drug paraphernalia and flashbacks to the day before the films main events  perhaps making a particular effort to point out the talent the characters are wasting through selfdestructive behavior  oh  the irony of it  tupac shakur made a career in music and movies playing the hard case  and living the life to back it up  in gridlockd  shakur gets the chance to play someone who has seen enough of the way his life could go to know that it scares him  spoon is an idea for a character at best as written by hall  but shakur displays an intelligence and survival instinct which struggle with his addiction  mostly it comes through those eyes  eyes with none of the hardness you might expect from the infamous gangsta  it is spoon who plays conscience to stretchs pure appetite  and roth plays stretch with a gleeful selfdestructiveness  he reveals that he is hiv positive even as he is preparing to shoot up again  which is as much an obstacle to spoons goal as any agency or enemy  gridlockds most cruelly comic scene finds stretch  helping  spoon get into an emergency room by repeatedly stabbing him with a tiny pocket knife  and it becomes an appropriate symbol for how the company he keeps has slowly drained the life out of him  with friends like that  spoon doesnt need enemies  and shakur looks at stretch with the tired eyes of a man who has seen too much  the tragedy now is that we wont get more chances to see those eyes again  
pos	hilarious  ultralow budget comedy from film school dropout kevin smith chronicles a day in the life of two convenience store slackers  brian ohalloran and jeff anderson   they spend most of their day ignoring customers while discussing everything from fellatio to selffulfillment  the premise is strictly sitcom and the photography is grainy as all getout  but you could spend ten times the films budget  a reported 27  000  and still not get dialogue half as good as this  originally rated nc17 for language  not recommended for viewers with sensitive ears  killing zoe  remake reservoir dogs as a french art film and youre halfway to killing zoe  writerdirector roger avarys slowmoving story of a failed bastille day bank robbery  eric stoltz stars as an american in paris who gets in  way  over his head when hooks up with a band of nihilistic bank robbers  hes the safecracker whos blissful unaware that the bank job is a botch job from the word go  though intriguing on all fronts  the film is paced at half the speed of pulp fiction  which avary cowrote with quentin tarantino  in english and french  the road to wellville  based on the novel by t  coraghessan boyle  the road to wellville doesnt go very far  bowels  bowels  and more bowels are explored by dr  john harvey kellogg  a bucktoothed and bespectacled anthony hopkins   who  in the early 1900s  advocated abstinence  vegetarianism  and frequent defecation  he also invented the cornflake  really  checkingin to kelloggs battle creek sanitarium are matthew broderick and bridget fonda  just two of the many wellknown faces in this failed comedy  leave your laughter at the door and you can marvel at the unfunny antics of john cusack  michael lerner  lara flynn boyle  john neville  and dana carvey  the art direction is impeccable and some of the early sequences are amusing  but the novelty quickly wears off as writerdirector alan parkers tries his darnedness to turn doodoo into drama  what he ends up with is something that i cant print here  phew  stargate  lawrence of arabia meets star wars  this epic scifi film is more sheer spectacle than anything else  director roland emmerich  universal solider  shamelessly rips off lucas and spielberg and just about any other cosmic cliche that he can lay his hands on  the film is overlong  the characters are cardboard  and the script is filled with some of the most laughable details in modern scifi history  that said  theres still plenty to watch here  scifi fans should enjoy the sculpted sands  the morphing headdresses  and a surprisingly spunky james spader  he plays the egyptologist who gets to prove his theory that that  somebody else  built the pyramids  less interesting are costars kurt russell and jaye davidson of crying game fame  star trek generations  trek fans may be more forgiving  but  for the rest of us  the sluggish star trek generations is a mixed bag at best  the story is interesting  but each scene goes too long  the cast is earnest  but the direction lacks punch  and so on   the best example of the latter is a klingon comeuppance that delivers none of the impact of a similar scene in star trek ii   original enterprise captain james t  kirk appears on both ends of the story  though they cut the scene where shatner turns to the screen to plead  get a life   remarkably unremarkable  miracle on 34th street  in a season of the specialist and pulp fiction et al  maybe a remake of miracle on 34th street  is  necessary  john hughes certainly believes in santa claus and his les mayfielddirected production does nothing to tarnish the memory of the 1947 original  the romance between costars dylan mcdermott and elizabeth perkins doesnt work too well  but the film makes a strong case that richard attenborough is the definitive kriss kringle  his chemistry with children can moisten any eye  no claus for alarm  junior  arnold schwarzenegger pregnant  sure  billy crystal did it before in rabbit test  but the sight of schwarz with a bulging belly is a casting coup comparable to dustin hoffman in tootsie  what should be nothing more than a onejoke premise actually gets better as it goes along  director ivan reitman  dave  twins  wisely keeps the farce to a minimum  so the first hour moves slower than you might expect  dont expect too many yuks from danny devito  but you cant beat those early romantic scenes between emma and arnie  hows  that  for a collision of acting styles  
pos	for those of us who werent yet born when the 1960s rock n rolled around  monterey pop affords an affectionate glimpse of the music that influenced our parents to be hippies  from otis redding to jimi hendrix  janis joplin to the mamas and the papas  and jefferson airplane to the who  this documentary is jampacked with contagious energy  but i give fair warning that i will reveal the ending  which does not do the rest of the film the justice it deserves  shot in 1969 at an outdoor concert that precluded woodstock  the film defies the stereotype of the general population at the time  sure  some have painted their faces and smoke joints  but d  a  pennebaker  the war room  moon over broadway  surprisingly chooses to show a broad spectrum of the audience  no matter who is watching  it all comes back to the talented musicians that stir your soul  the excitement starts before the music even begins  a young girl is cleaning thousands of seats and when asked why by an interviewer  she replies that she feels lucky to do so  there are moments of organized craziness as john phillips  leader of the mamas and the papas and one of the concert organizers  tries to get in touch with dionne warwick  and when one band is tuning up  a member remarks   finally  a decent sound system   you can tell just by watching these first few moments that this show isnt about vanity  its about playing the music you love to those who have an appreciation for it  a twoway street  this interaction between audience and performer continues throughout the film and becomes infectious to the audience  its impossible to tear your eyes away from janis joplin as she belts out her ballad about love being a ball and chain  and while the lyrics to  wild thing  may not be all that complicated  watching jimi hendrix mime having sex with his guitar is as captivating as otis redding singing about love  even if you dont recognize every band you see on stage  you can imagine being as enthralled by their work as the public sitting in those seats  the only drawback to the film is the ending  which unfortunately i must reveal  all the other bands  big names then and still today  got approximately 7 to 10 minutes of screen time  in contrast  the last band on camera  a wholly forgettable one  gets an entire 18 minutes of screen time  for a film thats only 78 minutes long  thats too large of a chunk  especially when previous acts are much more stimulating  all in all  monterey pop is a precious  rare look at a time period that still holds sway over us  the variety of music  as well as the beautifully shot performances  are easy to become immersed in  if there was ever any question as to why most of these bands were so popular  this is quickly dispelled  its almost depressing to think that music this moving doesnt get made much anymore  instead were stuck with  nsync  the backstreet boys  and jennifer lopez  all of whom should have stuck with modeling  
pos	the most common  and in many cases the only  complaint against francis ford coppolas 1972 masterpiece the godfather is glamorising of mafia  which is presented as an institution guided by ancient tradition and virtues like honour  loyalty and solidarity more suitable for some gentler  kinder ages  martin scorsese  another italoamerican moviemaker  confronted that perspective with his own  more downtoearth vision of mafia in 1973 mean streets  movie that dealt with lower echelons of organised crime  unfortunately for scorsese  his film was unspectacular and too artsy to compete with coppolas influence on mafia portrayals in the movies  seventeen years later scorsese returned to mean streets of new york with another film that dealt with darker side of american organised crime  this film was goodfellas  epic black comedy which is today considered as one of the best and most influential films of 1990s  goodfellas owes some of its initial success and popularity to the fact that it was based on the true story  told in bestseller book wiseguy by nicholas pileggi  who would cowrite the screenplay for the film   the book  as well as the film  chronicled thirty years in the life of henry hill  played by ray liotta   irishitalian criminal from new york  at the age of 13 he gets recruited in the criminal organisation of paulie cicero  played by paul sorvino   local mob boss  and gradually climbs up the ladder starting with small errands  after couple of years  together with his best childhood friend tommy de vito  played by joe pesci   he joins the crew of expert thieves led by jimmy conway  played by robert de niro   three of them spend years as best friends and associates  gathering enormous wealth from their criminal enterprises that would culminate with one of the most spectacular robberies in american history  wealth  influence and privileges of men connected with mafia are enough for henry hill to seduce his future wife karen  played by lorraine bracco   who would afterwards remain loyal to her husband despite infidelities  domestic abuse  arrests and would even be accomplice to his own private drug dealing business  but the perfect world of  wiseguys  gradually begins to fall apart  tommys unpredictable outbursts of homicidal violence  jimmys reluctance to share his part of the loot with partners and  finally  henrys own drug habit would lead to his downfall and make him question his loyalty to the friends  goodfellas is an excellent example of a film that represents work of a film genius in his full glory  scorsese managed to create a vision which is effective and complete despite being full of contradictions that would ripped the film apart in the hands of less talented filmmaker  world depicted in this film is both ordinary and fascinating  scorsese spares no effort to show us all the violence  hypocrisy and inherent paranoia of organised crime  yet it manages to make it both seductive and funny  after being exposed to two and half hours of the film and three decades of criminal history  based on some notorious real life events   the audience understands why the characters chose such dangerous life paths  trading the superficial and shortlasting glamour and prosperity of a criminal to the dullness and poverty of honest citizens  scorsese also manages to break viewers moralistic inhibitions by showing truly revolting material  scenes that depict personal tragedies  broken homes  human depravity  violence  bloodshed and murder  in all their uncompromising reality  but in a manner that would make it amusing and funny to the audience  with the use of ironic soundtrack  manipulative shots  characters dialogue or narrators commentary  goodfellas represents the new standards of black humour that would became very popular few years later during tarantino era  even if we dont pay attention to skills with which potentially disturbing material becomes eye pleasing and entertaining  we should admit that scorsese displays his talents of truly original and creative filmmaker  first  we might notice unusual structure of the plot  relatively minor subplot is used as movies ironic prologue  then  instead of single narrator  scorsese switches to the second character as narrator in the middle of the film only to switch back to the original shortly afterwards  this multiple points of views  both in terms of narration and various subjective shots  only lengthens the ironic distance towards characters and their situation  same ironic distance comes with extremely effective choice of soundtrack  nostalgia for good old times is illustrated with easylistening 1950s pop songs  while depression  paranoia and bad times find their expression in more neurotic rock songs of late 1960s and 1970s  but the soundtrack is most effective when it is used as ironic comment  almost pastoral  easy listening tunes make strong and very ironic contrast to the scenes of violence and bloodshed  however  thing most associated with this film is couple of continuos shots that feature characters moving through large rooms and interacting with dozens if not hundreds of people  such scenes  although they require very great skill and patience during their shootings  became very popular among other directors in 1990s  fragmentary character of the screenplay  which doesnt have straight plot and instead bases film on series of loosely connected vignettes  gives another interesting opportunity for scorsese  he uses this structure of film to experiment  and most successful of such experiments is hilarious  a day in life  segment near the end of the film  another essential element of goodfellas is large but superb collection of great acting talents  the most respectable among them is robert de niro  but his character  who happen to be most quiet and businesslike member of criminal trio  gets overshadowed by two of his friends and colleagues  joe pesci deserved his  oscar  for supporting role of homicidal psychopath tommy  and his lines  including adlibs  probably represent the most memorable element of the film  ray liotta  although equally talented  perhaps doesnt look as the best choice for narrator and nominal hero of the film  liottas henry hill looks somewhat too hollywoodised and glamorous among this bunch of lowlevel street thugs  liotta  on the other hand  improves general impression by very realistic and menacing portrayal of drug addiction  lorraine bracco is  on the other hand  very effective and believable as karen hill  wife who gradually descends into same moral cesspool as her husband  paul sorvino is also very effective as patriarch mafioso  and among the supporting cast most memorable is chuck low as pestering smalltime gangster who unknowingly digs his own grave  as a combination of clever sociological study  black humour and innovative filmmaking goodfellas became something only the truly great films could do  work of art and excellent popular entertainment in the same time  because of this achievement  and also because of the great influence on future filmmakers  this cinematic gem deserves its rightful place among the best films of 1990s  
pos	 the blair witch project  was perhaps one of a kind  a unique film that played completely on its own merit  managing to scare even the most experienced horror fans out of their senses  its success made a sequel inevitable  but this is not the sequel  i suspect  anyone much wanted  after the release of  the blair witch project   tourists have practically invaded the small town of burkettsville  in order to get a glimpse of the blair witch  locals have turned this mass hysteria into a great business opportunity  selling twigsculptures  stones and dirt like those in the movie  and the exasperated local sheriff patrols the woods with a bullhorn  shouting   get out of these woods and go home  there is no goddamned blair witch    jeff   is one of those people  who has used the sudden popularity of the small town to his advantage  after he got released from the mental institution  he created a mobile business that attracts thousands of customers through the internet  as the movie starts he is leading one of these groups into the woods  on the  blair witch hunt   among the five strangers is stephen and his girlfriend  the pregnant tristen  who are writing a book on the hysteria caused by the film called  the blair witch  history or hysteria    and kim  who dresses in black and has some psychic powers  the last member of the crew is erica  a young beautiful witchwannabe  who constantly quotes from the wiccan lore  saying  the first rule of wicca is  do no harm  because whatever you do will come back to you threefold   this strange group plunges into the woods  where they begin to argue about their different approaches to the experience  on the very first night that they decide to spend under the stars amidst the ruins of parrs abandoned house  strange things start happening  when they wake up their equipment is gone and only the tapes remain  after a while they discover strange markings on their bodies  they are somehow lost in time  as it loops uncontrollably back and forth  they are all haunted by hallucinations and horrible nightmares and soon they can not see the difference between dreams and reality  the only thing that they are sure of is that they have brought something or someone with them from the woods   documentary director joe berlinger   paradice lost   helms  blair witch 2   leaving the creators of the first film  dan myrick and ed sanches  in the background  the opening scenesthe documentary showing the townspeople affected by the first film is a more promising approach  because instead of trying to cover similar ground  it goes outside the first film and makes its own stand  but soon the movie gets confused and sidetracked by its own story  that is never resolved and ends with a very anticlimaxic epilogue  in a way  this is a typical hollywood sequel  more money has been spent and more people have worked on a project that was doomed to fail  the horror and suspense of the original simply could not be repeated  of course in these situations  quantity is more important than quality and profit is more important than the artistical values  from its opening scenes when the camera gracefully panes over the bloodyred forest  with carter burwells   being john malkovich  and  fargo   musical score in the background  you realize that with the exception of its title  this film has absolutely nothing to do with  the blair witch project    blair witch    was filmed by handheld videocameras and nfeatured acting that was mostly based on improvisation  in the sequel the technical aspect of the film is close to perfection  creating a completely different atmosphere  with its graceful cinematography  production design and flashy editing  the film has a very polished look  which is impossible to associate with the first installment  and though berlinger directs his film with an energy and pace that makes the adrenaline rush through the body a couple of times  he has obviously misunderstood the nature of his predecessor  the key is simplicity   blair witch project  had a story which was incredibly simple  that allowed the audience to fill the gaps with our own imagination  the film was practically an empty screen  on which we projected our most frightening nightmares  the effect was incredibly powerful  lasting and entir e everyone  but in a different way   book of shadows  feels incredibly controlled and restrict  here  very little is left to our imagination and the story is so complex and  clever  that the screenwriters are the first to get lost in it  there is is no book of shadows and no conclusion that we can be satisfied with  this is simply a less artistic film that doesnt have the talent and originality of its predecessor  it resorts to fancy cinematography and special effects to create the right effect and doesnt always succeed  but most importantly  it stands on its own ground and has almost no connection with the first movie  which doesnt allow it to destroy the original  in the end  i cant call it a bad effort  its less artistic  not so scary and less original  but certainly not bad  its simply different  in fact  if you havent seen  the blair witch project   you might like this film for what it is  a cross between  the blair witch project  and the  scream  films  the only element that remains constant and similar between the two films is the solid acting  jeffrey donovan and tristine skyler should be mentioned  and incredible sense of surrealism  but its a common knowledge and experience that  with a few exceptions  every movie sequel is worse than the original and some are even not worth making  to me the story of  the blair witch project  seemed completed  but there are obviously no limits to commercial success that  the book of shadows  is certainly assured  and its already time to look forward to  blair witch 3   
pos	seen may 31  1999 on home video  rented   one of the best things about the movies is that they can make you really start to wonder and analyze things in your own  everyday life that you might not have thought much of otherwise  with some films it might be just a secondary issue  but with dark city what we get is nearly an entire film committed to philosophizing and theorizing about human memory and how it defines who we are  which is a poignant theme made through an absolutely beautifullyconstructed film with the kind of story and setting that could only happen in a movie  theres an old roleplaying computer game called d  ja v   wherein the player takes on the role of a man who cant remember who he is  where he is and how he got there  the goal is to gather as many clues as possible to figure that out and along the way overcome a conflict  the premise to this film is not unlike that game  only this time we dont have control over the protagonist  we begin by meeting a seemingly ordinary man living in an extremely dark and dirty city  actually  its more than just the city  its the whole reality  that isnt just that neogothic look  a la batman   blade runner     but is so fully developed its almost a different genre completely  later he will learn that his name is john murdoch  sewell   but for now he has no idea whats going on other than the fact something is not right  the fact theres a dead body in the corner goes to enhance the feeling of paranoia and a mysterious  hurried call telling him to leave immediately is also very chilling  this opening scene alone goes a long way to define the setting of the film and its bizarre  horrific tone  the man doesnt know who he is nor where hes going and its interesting to follow him since we the viewers have no idea either we can sympathize and identify with him  in fact  this is the way all stories begin since its impossible to know the history of a character  their feelings  values  morals  etc  until after weve observed them for a while  but in this case  the total feeling of amnesia is an excellent tool towards characterization  developing the mood and outlining the story  eventually  some semblance of a plot begins to unfold as it appears that john is a serial killer wanted by the police  we met inspector frank bumstead  hurt   a quiet  unemotional  softspoken deadpan man who appears to have been on the trail of the killer for some time  two other important characters are also introduced  dr  daniel p  schreber  sutherland   a neurotic psychiatrist who claims to be johns doctor  and emma murdoch  connelly   a jazz singer dolled up to look like a caraciture right out of the old dick tracy serials or any given leading lady of the old filmnoir movies  it was schreber who contacted john for reasons that are continually revealed throughout the course of the film  he also contacts emma  which further helps the film reveal what is seemingly a complex  mysterious back story  but absolutely nothing is as it appears to be in dark city   which is what makes it so fascinating throughout its continual scenes of confusion and vertigo  everything the filmmakers want us to see has some significance  considering how intricate the detail is to every single shot  its lighting  art direction and overall production design  they dont seem to be able to afford any gratuities  however  that might also be whats keeping it from reaching its maximum potential  by continuing to follow john as he wanders around this strange place  so much unlike the real world we know  we come to realize that its all a hoax  everyone in the city is the subject of an experiment being conducted by a race of aliens to understand what makes humans tick in their efforts to somehow save themselves from extinction  but  as the films tagline says  last night  one of us went off   for reasons that are never clearly explained  it appears that john possesses telekinetic powers to can do pretty much whatever his mind can conceive  a process known as tuning   the aliens  which look like very old bald human men with pasty skin  also possess the power en masse and use it to change the city every night at midnight  at the same time all the humans fall asleep and after the changes are made  they awake and either continue where they left off or begin a new life they have no idea they did not have until then  this premise certainly is interesting and director and coscreenwriter alex proyas is able to keep the film consistently mysterious in this regard  he does provide some explanations such as that dr  schreber is an assistant to the strangers because he somehow could synthesize memory into chemical form  the aliens mix and match the memories of the citys population to see who will change and who will not  in the process this creates for a good deal of deep  thoughtprovoking philosophies that could be applied to the real world  however  where the film errs is by not playing up the idea of memory versus the human heart as to what makes a person who he or she is  the main characters are all closely intertwined within the seemingly complex murder mystery which never actually happened  yet when they start to go through some of the expected emotions it comes off as distant  static and cold  mediocre performances by hurt and connelly dont help either   for example  john realizes emma is not and probably never was his wife so he does not feel an emotional bond to her  yet in some scenes crucial to the films plot  we are expected to believe they do have a genuine love for each other  which is also part of the films climax and ending  and thats what proyas seems to be inferring with the film  but never quite manages to convey in its fullest sense  ironically  this is what made his first film the crow work so well  which had a similar theme of struggling to find hope and the human spirit within a nearly identical  dark twisted world  with dark city the messenger seems to be mistaken for the message  still  the film is by no means bad and is consistently entertaining and enjoyable  theres a lot to like here  most notably the sheer visual look and style of it all which accounts for at least half the reasons the film is able to tell the story it does  the story as a whole is one of the most original to come out of hollywood in years  dark city is what the movies are all about  the escape from the real world  
pos	linda fiorentino disappeared off the radar after a deservedly heralded turn in the cable pic the last seduction  and her being cast as dogmas lead is nothing short of inexplicable  shes still in fine form as bethany  an abortion clinic worker whos lost her faith  one night  a visitor from heaven makes a fiery entrance in bethanys bedroom  he is metatron  alan rickman   the voice of god  and he needs her help  she must stop two fallen angels from entering a new jersey churchthe fate of the universe depends on it  god would do it himherself  but heshe is    missing  having taken up human form somewhere on earth never to be heard from again  bethany is joined on her road trip to the garden state by the  prophets  jay  jason mewes  and silent bob  kevin smith  doing doubleduty   the slacker minstrels who have appeared in all of smiths films thus far  at some point  rock drops naked out of the sky as rufus  the undocumented  and very black   thirteenth apostle   and offers his assistance  as does divine stripper serendipity  salma hayek   its a wild ride  theyre in pursuit of loki and bartleby  damon and affleck  respectivelythis is probably the sharpest either has ever been   who were banished from heaven to wisconsin and have discovered a dogmatic loophole that will enable their return  loki decides to wreak havoc along the way with the knowledge that his sins will be absolved at the pearly gates  at one point  he terrorizes a boardroom full of suits with an angry combination of words and bullets  its a nasty  guiltily enjoyable little scene that asks   how corrupt are you    wings of desire this aint  since debuting with clerks  smith has grown as a director  particularly in terms of working with actors   chris rock is this films only weak linkbetween jokes  hes wooden   his nofrills visual style hasnt changed much over the years  though  dogmas widescreen compositions at least have blockbuster affectations   nor has his writinghis characters still sit around delivering one caustic  hilarious speech after another  dogma chips away at big religious issuesnamely  the hypocrisy that accompanies any organized system of beliefseloquently and articulately  but a few of the monologues sound too much like blatant exposition  as well  the verbal introduction of each new person seems to take forever  any movie with this much weighty talk would have a hard time maintaining momentum  hurlyburly  anyone    and eventually dogmas pacing goes slack  a long diatribe from bartleby late in the game  in which he laments the destiny of celestial beings  comes at a point when weve heard enough  because his change of heart  bartleby is initially the good cop to lokis bad  drives the climax  said rant is given a great deal of screen time  sure  affleck deserved a big moment  damon steals their scenes together prior   but it ultimately makes the film and us feel bloated  like tarantino  smith was a videoage sponge who became a samplemad indie filmmaker  dogma pays welcome homage to an eclectic batch of movies  including indiana jones and the last crusade  with silent bob doing his best harrison ford  and weird sciencea shit demon attacks our heroes  smith also has a kitchen sink brand of humour  his dexterous maneuvering between the satirical  a cardinal played by george carlin attempts to mount a publicity campaign with the slogan  catholicism wow    and the scatalogical ensures that no lover of comedy will leave dogma feeling malnourished  i bust  ed   a gut on several occasions  proceedings also get off on the right foot with the opening with the funniest disclaimer ever  its a disclaimer unlikely to put protestors at ease  for to read it  one actually has to see dogma  the prerelease ballyhoo is in the tradition of the last temptation of christs  martin scorseses 1988 adaptation of nikos kazantzakis controversial novel  in that it is not directly linked to the pictures content but to rumours and heresy  theres a famous anecdote about fletch director michael ritchie inviting picketers of the last temptation of christ into a screening on his dime  just so they could know for certain what they were rallying against   not one of them had watched it   every single person refused  smith and scorsese have a lot in common  and so do the two films in question  because both smiths bethany and scorseses jesus are hollow shells without their faith  in fact  dogmas denouement  which follows a thrilling showdown thats worth the wait  is a catholic lovein  a veritable recruitment poster   i felt sentimental about a religion i dont belong to  now thats powerful filmmaking   smith is nothing if not sincere about his own devotion to god  and that spirituality shines through  its enough to make me forgive dogma for its editorial sins  my religion is movies  when the catholic league beats on dogma for imaginary crimes against a doctrine  in a roundabout way theyre attacking what i live for  freedom of expression through celluloid  i therefore feel that  although im no biblethumper  im at least as qualified to criticize dogma as william donohue and his followers  
pos	youve heard all the hype  youve seen all their faces  natalie portman  the professional  as queen amidala  liam neeson  schindlers list  as quigon jinn  ewan mcgregor  trainspotting  as obiwan kenobi  and jake lloyd  jingle all the way  as young anakin skywalker  if youve read any reviews  youve also probably heard that this movie fails to live up to the magic and humanity of the first trilogy  you also may have heard that this ones too kiddiefriendly  and doesnt have enough content for adults  believe the hype  the effects are stunning  the digitalized creatures are amazingly realistic  the lightsaber duels are amazing  and queen amidalas sumptuous robes are fit to be worn by queen elizabeth  but theres something missing here  and it isnt budget or effects  its everything money  cant  buy  the actors struggle as best they can to flesh out broadstroked and flat characters  the most successful at this is liam neeson who  as quigon jinn  a jedi master to young obiwan kenobi  has quiet dignity and a wise  commanding presence  he is the anchor to this movie  as he is the one character who george lucas apparently spent some time fleshing out  portmans queen amidala and mcgregors obiwan kenobi dont fare nearly so well  amidala  the future mother of luke and leia and the queen of a peaceful planet being invaded by the trade federation       comes off as stoic  stilted and caricatured  it appears as though she was a vulcan geisha in a former life   and obiwan  although mcgregor makes him very endearing  has so little screen time that hes nothing but a robin to quigon jinns batman  however  mcgregor does struggle manfully to infuse this surprisingly small supporting role with a spark of genuine insight and humanity  and he does a good job  he also absolutely nails alec guiness  obiwan in episode 4  6  scottish accent  and that really makes his presence in the film more profound than it might have been otherwise  in fact  lucas seems to bank on that preexisting knowledge quite a bit  and thats one of the problems with this film  i would never call myself a  star wars  fan  especially not considering what it means to be a fanatic these days  but ive always enjoyed the films along with everyone else in america  however  if you are the one person in america who  hasnt  seen the films at all or even recently  or who doesnt bother to brushup on the names of obscure characters  you may be hopelessly lost  for example  one of the films main  nefarious  characters is senator palpatine  for those of you not recently steeped in  star wars  trivia  emperor palpatine is that scary hooded apparition who was darth vaders master in  return of the jedi  and  empire strikes back   so  obviously  his appearance in  phantom menace  is meant to stir some echoes of his later role in the series  thus making his role here more meaningful  a lot of the movie is like that  r2d2 and c3po make token appearances  and its obvious that lucas is banking on the audiences preexisting fondness for them    because he doesnt do much to add to it in any way  same goes for jabba the hutt  who doesnt look as much mean here as he does corpulent and lazy  even  planets  make foreshadowing guest appearances in this film  tatooine  the desert world where luke grew up   coruscant  the cloud city from  empire strikes back    and alderaan  leias home planet  which we never actually see  that gets blown up in  star wars   show up or are mentioned briefly in passing  whats the result of tying so many plot points and characters to future films  the answer is that this one seems surprisingly empty  theres no meat  no substance  that makes you want to love the characters as they are  not as they will be  another problem is that there are actually  too many  alien characters in the film  i was distracted by the fact that two of the main evil characters  strange looking aliens who looked like gila monsters  had mouths that barely moved  making them look more like muppets than actual characters  and jar jar binks  a silly roger rabbitish amphibious character  is intended as comic relief  but what he really becomes is annoying  and fast  unlike chewbacca and c3po  who got their humanity  if youll pardon the expression  from their interactions with the human characters  jar jar is often left to interact mostly with others of his kind  at times making the movie seem like nothing more than a very expensive  teenage mutant ninja turtles   furthermore  the dialogue is often stilted and corny  and sometimes downright infantile  thereby rendering some characters into nothing more than bystanders to the plot  oddly  this isnt just  my  judgment  lucas has said that he designed this film for kids  well  hes done a good job  the hero of this film  of course  is young anakin  but it was very hard for me to feel any kinship or identify with an eightyearold boy  thats not jake lloyds fault  though  he does a good job of being a cute kid  which is apparently all lucas asked of him  thats another mistake  of course  because the cute tyke becomes darth vader  warning  spoilers ahead     in my opinion  there was not nearly enough foreshadowing of anakins future evil in the film  the boy is all blond flowing hair and rosy cheeks  and theres nothing more than a spark of aggression in him throughout the entire movie  he has a doting mother  pernilla august  making her first english language film  and is a slave to a gross flying gnome on tatooine  but the only indication the audience gets that this kid isnt all hearts and roses is yodas hesitation in allowing him to train as a jedi under quigon jinn  his explanation   his future is clouded    warning  major spoiler ahead  enter at your own risk   of course  the noble quigon dies at the hand of darth maul  a scarylooking sith lord who excels at the jedi arts  but has turned to the dark side  this dude has maybe two lines in the entire movie  but he establishes his presence through his amazing moves with his doublesided lightsaber  and his scary facial makeup  because quigon never gets a chance to train the young anakin in the ways of the force  obiwan  quigons young padawan apprentice  one level below knightdom   must take over the training himself  so  at the end of the movie  we end where the saga actually begins  with obiwan kenobi and his young apprentice  anakin  darth vader  skywalker  did this story need to be told  i would say no  but is it a worthwhile movie to see  absolutely  if you dont enter the theater with jedisize expectations  and you simply want to be treated to an enjoyable visual spectacle  then this is your movie  the tatooine pod races are a triumph of effects and computer animation  the digitalized backgrounds on some of the planets are an astonishing sight  and yoda and young obiwan are worth seeing for their origins in a simpler  happier time  above all  this is a fun movie  not deep  not meaningful  and not profound  but fun  maybe next time  lucas will hire lawrence kasdan to cowrite the script  and the guy who directed  empire  will direct  because if lucas does the next one himself  it will be lacking the one thing it needs the most  potential    
pos	as african american detective vergil tibbs questions a suspected white murderer inside a jail cell  there is a wonderful  eyecatching shot which instantaneously presents the main message of the entire film  the shot has tibbs face completely covered by the shadows of the prison bars  to see these bars blocking his face  we see how separated tibbs is from the rest of the characters in the film  as a black detective conducting an investigation in a southern town full of violent white bigots  no matter how innocent tibbs is  he is still seen by these bigots as a threat simply because of the color of his skin  the bars show that tibbs has not been given a fair chance to show exactly who he is  instead others have chosen him as different and dangerous  this one shot amazes me because it captures a whole theme in a matter of seconds  it perhaps may be the most powerful image i have seen in a film   in the heat of the night  was the first and the best of the three films norman jewison directed concerning racism in america  jewison has a very keen style of displaying various cases of racism as he is neither pedantic nor overly sentimental  in these three films he does an excellent job creating very detailed equal analyses of characters from the abused to the abusers  he is also not afraid to tell the absolute truth about how corrupt society was in the past and is in the present  preceding the very original  a soldiers story  and the recently released  the hurricane    in the heat of the night contains some classic lines and some very memorable characters  the film  which won best picture in 1967 focuses on vergil tibbs  played superbly by sidney poitier as a fearless african american police officer from philadelphia who refuses to give up on an investigation in a white town where is he not wanted  tibbs is a man who rarely loses his temper and that is worth mentioning because he is constantly facing abuse from those around him  as a hero who is not afraid to face off against five men with chains  tibbs is the perfect protagonist  poitier also gives an excellent  noteworthy voice to his character  never nervous and always commanding  his speech patterns are very manipulative as they range from stentorian to soothing  however  unlike  the hurricane  where denzel washington dominated over the rest of the cast  poitier shares the spotlight with rod steiger  who won best actor for his excellent performance  as a sheriff who helps tibbs and warns him of the dangers around him  steiger shows a great amount of skill in his role  he starts off as racist and blind as the other townspeople  he would refer to tibbs as  boy  and would always suspiciously keep an eye on him  as the film progresses though  there is a very gradual change in the sheriff  he begins to see the hardships tibbs faces and he sees the foolishness of his own neighbors  what i really enjoyed about steigers character was that he did not completely abandon his friends or connect with tibbs at the end of the film  he still could not refer to tibbs as mister tibbs or officer tibbs but rather settled for virgil  instead  it was apparent that he was eventually going to see the world differently in the future  most movies would have a character reversing all of his beliefs and influences in a matter of minutes  this action would not have been realistic at all since it is nearly impossible for someone to believe something one day and believe something else the next day  jewisons determination to make this film as realistic as possible is very obvious here and also very appropriate   in the heat of the night  shows the difference between the north and the south or a major city and a small town in the united states during the 1960s  it displays this perfectly  however  the actual investigation  although it is not the main focus of the film  lacks interest  it seemed rushed especially towards the end as if jewison had given his message about racism and did not feel like giving a credible explanation involving the murder victim  there were way too many characters added during the last fifteen minutes and some of the scenes during this time period were inane  police officer sam being a suspect was not needed   also  it is given that tibbs is a vigilant homicide detective who is the best at what he does  but some of his discoveries came out of nowhere and how he found out some of the important case details towards the end were never answered  the rushed ending was the only mistake of this otherwise memorable jewison classic   a congratulations has to be given to actor scott wilson  he managed to be in the two best movies of 1967   in the heat of the night  and the even better  in cold blood    
pos	in wonder boys michael douglas plays an aged writer  professor with such livedin naturalism that i believe it may be his best performance  ever since wall street  douglas has spent the greater part of his career playing variations on the shark in a suit gordon gecko character he personified in the mid80s  in those performances he tended to exaggerate the vehemence of cutthroat businessmen  with much frothing at the mouth while projecting all his bad intentions to the world  youd think such a man would keep his evil wrapped tightly underneath a goodnatured veneer  but from gordon gecko to nicholas van orton  douglas played the role straight and out in the open  in wonder boys his performance isnt showy or a tour de force  its simple yet truthful  he embodies grady  a craggy old writer with a predilection for pot and pink bathrobes  grady instructs a writers workshop while working tirelessly on a follow up to the novel that put him on the map  when we first encounter this curmudgeon in the midst of his workshop  we hear his sardonic narration on the soundtrack as students bombard one of their own with unfair criticisms  grady points out  in his narration  that they only do so out of jealousy  their target is the very writerly named james leer  played by the always understated tobey maguire   a student full of potential and one whom grady develops a mild affection for  leer is the kind of youth who seems to mechanically block out emotions  he speaks in an intellectualized monotone with just a hint of dry wit around the edges  hes portentous and gloomy  as if modeling himself after the great depressed writers  though his act is a little too calculated  he reminds me of the selfimposed outcast film director  jim jarmusch  dead man  ghost dog   whenever i happen to catch jarmusch in an interview i see the man speaking in a toneless manner  the monotonous drawl supposedly masking depth or contempt for his interviewer   exclusively dressed in black  and with his spiked hair dyed snow white  leer is similar  a guy who equates quirks with depth  tobey maguire fits well in the role  with his round  sweeteerie face he resembles bud cort from harold and maude  but unlike cort  maguire is easier to warm up to  hes a messed up kid reaching for artistic credibility  katie holmes plays hannah  a beautiful  talented writing student just itching to get in gradys pants  this is a plot line i had trouble with  douglas  in his old age  is beginning to resemble jerry springer  a man who has actually paid for sex on numerous documented occasions  at first i found it extremely difficult to believe that someone as beautiful as hannah would desire grady  maybe its because im jealous  and wish holmes was throwing herself at me  after all i may just be a lowly internet critic but at least i still have all my teeth   then i think of douglass real life companion  the breathtaking catherine zeta jones  seeing those two together looks a lot like a kidnapping  suddenly my mind has shifted from the task at hand  that being reviewing this completely wonderful movie  and im pontificating on why the hell jones would desire douglas  there is a movie in there somewhere  grady  rather chivalrously if you ask me  resists the charms of hannah for sara gaskell  a droll frances mcdormand   who is his age  but also married to another professor  okay  maybe not so chivalrous  there is a great line in the film spoken by douglas about sara where he says   she was a junkie for the printed word  lucky for me i manufactured her drug of choice   robert downy j  r plays a bisexual editor who makes his entrance with a towering transvestite on his arm  downy has mastered the gleefully dry hyper articulate wit of many a hipster intellectual  hes arrogant but completely likeable in his utter arrogance  the actor is perfectly cast here  and remains a joyous movie presence somewhere between a typical tom hanksian comic leading man and edgy character actor  i wish wonder boys had more of him  searching for a plot among the elements of wonder boys would be pointless  for it meanders through its running time  but thats part of its charm  and maybe im a bit biased towards the film because it takes place in a haven of literary academia  a place im greatly fond of  and a place rarely explored in american cinema  everyone has a subgenre  be it war films  westerns  dance movies  that they happen to be privy to  im privy to films about literary types i  e  those individuals enthralled by the written word  and if you are not so inclined it may be wise to knock my above grade down about half a notch  the direction by curtis hanson is more akin to a european film with its leisurely pace and situations that grow from the characters  rather than generic mapped out story points  sometimes the dialogue is too clever  but thats a problem i wish i found with films more often  another minor quibble is that early on the film seems a bit too introverted  like its characters  but as the story progresses it begins to open up  for me wonder boys works as subtle drama because of its insight into artistic types  and as a lowkey comedy for its chuckleworthy throwaway gags  the gags are like those in the great robert altman  m  a  s  h  the long goodbye  movies  where jokes exist as asides on the fringes  like jokes in life often do  the broader comedy such as the killing of a blind dog  and incessant smoking of marijuana isnt ineffective but not nearly as memorable as the little things  curtis hanson  who before his last film  la confidential  toiled about with exploitation fare like losin it  an early tom cruise sex comedy  and the hand the rocks the cradle  has graduated to more meaningful films  he directs wonder boys in an appropriately dour style  the comedy coming from the false gloom his characters put up  the morose crooning of leonard cohen would seem an odd song for the background of any party  but in a wonder boys party  it fits  the film is like a piece of literature put up on the big screen  its the cinematic equivalent to a good read  novelistic in its approach with themes rarely found in american movies  many will find it slight  but i found much to savor among its subtleties  
pos	plot  derek zoolander is a male model  he is also very dumb and impressionable  for that reason  he is secretly hired and trained  so secret  that even he doesnt know about it  by an underground fashion syndicate to assassinate the prime minister of malaysia  who wants to abolish child labor in his country  will zoolander fulfill the dirty deed  will zoolander ever grace the world his new  look   is this a funny movie  find out below    critique  theres a place in our world for  stupid comedies   films which dont pretend to take themselves seriously  are based on idiotic premises and filled with dumb jokes  theres also a time for them and many would argue that this difficult period of our history  might be an ideal circumstance during which to  relax  by watching something so completely frivolous  well  if youre in the mood for some seriously mindless entertainment  ben stiller and his cast of many have assembled one of the more original dumb comedies in some time  of course  comedies as such are usually very subjective and i could see how some will see this film simply as stupid and unfunny  while others will grant them the  stupid   but consider it funny instead  i personally enjoyed it for the most part  cracked up loudly during a couple of specific sequences and loved the derek zoolander character and the unrestrained whipping they released upon the fashion industry  snap  it was also nice to see several reallife models with small roles in the movie  not taking themselves too seriously  and if youre the type of person who likes celebrity cameos in films  well  dont look any further because dozens of famous faces show up here including vince vaughn  billy zane  winona ryder  christian slater  david duchovny  natalie portman and many  many others  i especially liked andy dicks complete makeover as the masseuse  hilarious  but with all films of this type  there is bound to be some stuff that simply doesnt work  a few particulars which didnt strike my fancy included the bulimia and  orgy  sequence with christine taylor  the breakdance fighting  and i also never get why they use real countries in plots like this  why not just  make up  a country  instead of zeroing in on a certain people    i also could have done with less of the taylor character in general  since she wasnt all that interesting and seemed to slow things down every now and then  more zoolander  dude    but those few missteps were nothing compared to some of the more memorable scenes which definitely did work for me  i almost pissed myself during the  gas station  disaster  absolutely adored the  walkoff  contest  with david bowie as the judge  no less  and appreciated many of zoolanders moronic oneliners   i was a merman    a merman      and i dare you to get his  monkey  photo shoot out of your head after seeing this movie   youre a monkey  derek    a monkey    i also really liked the soundtrack and the pace of the film  both of which zipped and zagged  and established a nice rhythm to it all  again  its to note that this movie is dumb and not for everyone  but my guess is that if you laughed at the trailer  you will likely enjoy many of the quips in the actual picture as well  if you thought the trailer was dumb  skip this dodo bird and go rent austin powers again or something  a film from which there is an obvious influence here  blue steel  baby    yeah    wheres joblo coming from  austin powers  710   austin powers 2  710   deuce bigalow  710   dude  wheres my car  710   freddy got fingered  510   jay  silent bob strike back  810   joe dirt  510   meet the parents  810   say it isnt so  310  
pos	unzipped is a cinematic portrait of isaac mizrahi  an artist whose palette is fabric  ostensibly  the film is a documentary  but use of that term requires stretching its meaning  many scenes appear staged  and a great deal of cuttingandpasting has been done in the editing room  the cinema verite effect is a conceit  genuine spontaneity is at a premium  and everyone is aware of and playing to the camera  especially wouldbe actresses like cindy crawford   director douglas keeve  who was mizrahis lover at the time  freely admits that he  couldnt care less about the truth  but was more interested in capturing  the spirit and love in isaac and in fashion   despite violating nearly every rule of  legitimate  documentary film making  however  unzipped is a remarkably enjoyable piece of entertainment  while it sheds only a little light on the behindthescenes world of the fashion industry  it presents a fascinating  if incomplete  picture of designer mizrahi  this man is the perfect subject for this kind of study  hes funny  energetic  and eminently quotable  he has unusual views on just about everything  from fashion   its about women not wanting to look like cows   to mary tyler moore   between her and jackie kennedy  they shaped this country   to style   its almost impossible to have style nowadays without the right dogs    unzipped also gives a glimpse into the creative process by which mizrahi turns an idea into a dress  its almost certainly different that anyone would imagine  the designer draws on a variety of sources for his look  including nanook of the north and old bette davis movies  then enlists the aid of a ouija board to help form the collection  in particular  unzipped traces mizrahis development of his fall 1994 line from its inception in the spring to the final fashion show  which highlights a number of prominent models  including cindy crawford  naomi campbell  kate bush  and linda evangelista  on the technical side  a number of interesting choices were made in filming unzipped  a variety of film stocks were used  super 8  16 mm blackandwhite  and 35 mm color  there is a purpose to this beyond simple artiness  the stock often serves as an emotional key to the movie  and  during the climactic fashion show  color is used to show the audiences perspective  while blackandwhite is for the behindthe scenes sequences  nevertheless  some viewers will be put off by this treatment  while unzipped isnt an expose on the fashion industry per se  keeve has enough clips of petulant models to make the viewer realize how tame robert altman was with ready to wear  overall  however  this movie is far more about mizrahi than anything else  and only when viewed from that perspective does unzipped succeed  when the designer declares that  everything is frustrating except designing clothes  thats beautiful and liberating   it fits perfectly with the image of him that unzipped has constructed  
pos	dora  fernanda montenegro  sits behind a makeshift desk at rios major train station  she  in her colorful demeanor  offers a service that is unheard of in the states  she writes letters for the illiterate  who pass through  to try to find lost relatives  find love  or search after lost debts  shes quirky  shes elderly  shes caring  totally trustworthy  right  not a chance  once home  she never sends these letters  saving money on postage  and relishing in the drama contained therein with her neighbor irene  mar  lia p  ra   one of the letters is sent by a young mother with her nineyear old son  looking for their father  shortly thereafter  she gets hit by a bus  and the son is orphaned  days go by  and the boy  named josu   roams around the station  hungry  desperate  and somewhat clueless to his predictament  through a series of circumstances too precious to elaborate upon  dora somehow takes a responsibility in trying to find josu  s father  this means leaving the security of rio  traveling to the outskirts of brazil  where unpaved roads  religious devotees and the povertystricken become commonplace  films like this remind me as to what i enjoy about some foreign films  it is an opportunity for me to get a fresh breath in another part of the world  so distant from my own  it does so entertainingly  and so heartwrenchingly  and yet  its backdrop is merely that  the focus is on the minute transformation of dora  of how she learns to love this little kid  without being cloying or sentimental  the most interesting backdrop is the amount of religious dedication is in the film  dora being an amoral scamartist  could care less about the amount of bickering between the candlelighting of the catholics versus the bumpersticker mentality of the evangelicals  but neither side is trivialized  she even begins to develop an affection for a nondrinking evangelical  who sees the problems with dora  if not initially  fernanda montenegro surprisingly got an oscar nomination for this very delicate performance  but the true marvel is that of vinicius de oliveira  who plays josu   he  like the discoveries of j  r  mie renier  la promesse  and giorgio cantarini  life is beautiful   prove that the true acting discoveries may be outside of the united states  he is a natural  and never once grating  send a memo to jonathan taylor thomas  
pos	the event of events is upon us  people have waited twentytwo years for the prequel to star wars and diehard fans have been camping out at theaters for months to get tickets to see it  i dont think that america will ever actually recover from what this hurricane of a film has caused  it is not a bit of an exaggeration to say that this is the most highly anticipated movie in history  anyone who tells you  its just a movie  is either lying or clueless  it is clearly obvious that after the waiting and the hype actually seeing the movie will be anticlimactic  the second coming of the lord could not live up to the kind of buzz  which is far too weak a word  that star wars epsode i  the phantom menace so effortlessly generated  but that does not mean that the film itself is bad  in fact  it is terrific  i strongly suspect that many of the people who were dissappointed by it have simply surrendered to the media machine and the inevitable backlash  it is set some decades before the events of the original 1977 star wars took place  the film focuses on the fledgling republic of planets and the conflict that is raging  the trade federation  angry at some tax raise that was recently put in place has invaded the small  peaceful planet of naboo  the republic sent two jedi knights  people that can actively communicate with what is affectionately known as  the force    quigon jinn  liam neeson  and obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor  to negotiate  unable to stop the tide of events that was about to occur  the jedi and the queen of naboo  natalie portman  escape naboo and head for coruscant to try and get the republic senate to intervene  on the way they get sidetracked to a planet called tatooine  where they meet the movies real focal point  young anakin skywalker  jake lloyd   he is an innocent slave boy  but  the force is strong with him  so qui gon is determined to take him with them to the jedi counsel and get him trained as a jedi  as any selfrespecting star wars fan should know  anakin will grow up to be darth vader and give birth to luke skywalker  from the beginning it is evident that this is not an actors movie  around 70 of the characters  if not more  are computer generated in one form or another  and though the effects are seamless  the movie lacks soul  i think that although the computer has played an incredibly instrumental part in moviemaking this decade  cinema should still be a human art and the phantom menace nearly defies this  this is the lightest installment in the star wars saga thus far  with plenty of broad comic relief to go around  much of it courtesy of an irritating knew character named jarjar binks  hes essentially a computeranimated sidekick who says things like  exqueeze me   and  mesa go now  okeday    and although it is often amusing it is also inherently annoying  the visual effects are astounding  although director george lucas often chickens out by cutting away from them  and the movie is a thrilling triumph  if it lacks in plot and in acting it makes up for it through imagination and excitement  the climactic lightsaber battle  oh  come on  as if you didnt already know   among other things  is outrageously entertaining and defines the term  popcorn movie   what made me surrender and give this movie    12 stars was the score by john williams  even though it does seem like the man scores every single movie that comes out these days  his work here is nothing short of brilliant  his use of opera during the climax really does add a punch and his ingenious way of utilizing the imperial march as a sort of prophecy is chilling  the phantom menace is probably most effective as pop nostalgia  when you see  a long time ago  in a galaxy far  far away   when the familiar music plays  when the words  star wars  appear on screen  youll feel a tingle even if you didnt see the movie when it first came out in 77  it feels oddly exciting to be introduced to young anakin  a boy whose innocence  we know  will be taken away and who will soon cross over to the dark side  it is the perfect example of dramatic irony to see the jedi masters aspire to get him trained in the jedi arts  we know that it will do more harm than good  but they do not  we not only feel more involved in the story  but we feel like were seeing the beginning of a saga that we have cherished for years  the phantom menace  although lacking in human aspects of the story  is a very worthy installment in the star wars  it works as an action flick  visually eyepopping and often paralyzingly exciting  it also works as an elicitor of memories  a piece of exquisite nostalgia   1999 eugene novikov137  
pos	sometimes a movie comes along that falls somewhat askew of the rest  some people call it  original  or  artsy  or  abstract   some people simply call it  trash   a life less ordinary is sure to bring about mixed feelings  definitely a generationx aimed movie  a life less ordinary has everything from claymation to profane angels to a karaokebased musical dream sequence  whew  anyone in their 30s or above is probably not going to grasp what can be enjoyed about this film  its somewhat silly  its somewhat outrageous  and its definitely not your typical romance story  but for the right audience  it works  a lot of hype has been surrounding this film due to the fact that it comes to us from the same team that brought us trainspotting  well sorry folks  but i havent seen trainspotting so i cant really compare  whether that works in this films favor or not is beyond me  but i do know this  ewan mcgregor  whom i had never had the pleasure of watching  definitely charmed me  he was great  cameron diazs character was uneven and a bit hard to grasp  the audience may find it difficult to care about her  thus discouraging the hopes of seeing her unite with mcgregor after we are immediately sucked into caring about and identifying with him  misguided  you bet  loveable  you bet  a life less ordinary was a delight and even had a bonus for me when i realized it was filmed in my hometown of salt lake city  utah  this was just one more thing i didnt know about this movie when i sat down with a five dollar order of nachos and a three dollar coke  maybe not knowing the premise behind this film made for a pleasant surprise  but i think even if i had known  i would have been just as happy  a life less ordinary is quirky  eccentric  and downright charming  not for everyone  but a definite change of pace for your typical night at the movies  
pos	that thing you do   r  tom hankss screenwriting and directorial debut  that thing you do   has all the qualities you would associate with the most beloved screen actor of the moment  fun  lively  and ohsonice  it is the latter quality  however  that becomes a hindrance  for this 60s nostalgia trifle is so nice and sweet that it teeters on becoming bland milquetoast  that thing focuses on the wonders  a teen rock band from erie  pennsylvania that is suddenly thrust into the national spotlight in 1964 when they score a major dance hit called  of course   that thing you do   the groups members are  naturally a diverse group  theres brooding lead singer and songwriter jimmy  johnathon schaech   girlcrazy lenny  steve zahn   the lead guitarist  a goofy  geeky type known only as the bass player  ethan embry   and the films center  guy  tom everett scott   the drummer who has aspirations in jazz  along for the wonders ride to success is jimmys perpetually neglected galpal  faye  liv tyler   hanks proves to be a capable writerdirector  deftly recreating the innocent spirit of 1964  which hanks calls  the last innocent year   the spirit is not only reflected in the period clothes and settings but also in the music  which  like the other recent period music film  grace of my heart  was expressly written for the film  hanks himself had a hand in writing four of the tunesbut not the infectious title cut by adam schlesinger  which is guaranteed to stay in your head long after the end credits have rolled  its still playing in my mind as i write this   it should come as no surprise that hanks the director works well with the actors  eliciting charming  likable work from the entire cast  most notably hanks lookalike scott and tyler  who is remarkable in delivering the films biggest and best dramatic moment  the work of the young ensemble is so natural that they truly convince as teens of the early 60s  they do not appear to be 90s grungers playacting  retro   yet for all the light  frothy charms of that thing you do   its nearly nice to a fault  while this unbridled innocence in film is a refreshing change from all the sinful cinema around these days  there is not enough conflict to keep things consistently interesting  everyone is so happy  basking in the glow of overnight success  marvelling at it allexcept toward the end  but even then the tone quickly reverts to sweetness  ending on an appropriately feelgood note  there isnt much of an edge throughout that thingthe only thing that is remotely edgy is hankss turn as the wonders managerand thus becomes in danger of being so nice its bland  but a little niceness goes a long way these days  and theres no denying the entertainment value of that thing you do   its just about impossible to hate  its an inoffensive  enjoyable piece of nostalgia that is sure to leave audiences smiling and humming  if not singing   that thing you do   quite possibly for days  to paraphrase a passage from the song  though i try and try to forget that song it is just so hard to do every time they play  that thing you do   
pos	 hes back  and its about time   was the motto for this television series pilot  i call it a pilot  i dont care what fox network says  revival of the cult classic british tv show  doctor who  that spawned no series  which means there are no smart network execs out there  not exactly news to a lot of people  i know   the motto was well chosen  the series was simple  it was about this time lord scientist called the doctor with thirteen lives who traveled around in a type forty spaceship called a tardis outsmarting all kind of alien baddies  including the evil daleks  and the master  who appears in this feature  played very badly by eric roberts  as good as this revival was  there is something missing from it to make sure it was really doctor who  is it the acting  hell  no  paul mcgann is just as good as any of the other seven guys whove played the doctor  including his predecessor and offscreen friend sylvester mccoy  who appears once more for the regeneration scene   he looks right for the role  is a brilliant actor  and slips effortlessly into the role  the way my two favorites jon pertwee and tom baker would  daphne ashbrook brings class to her role as dr  grace holloway  the doctors first companion that he kisses on screen  she is not your typical female companion who screams  and spends her free time making coffee for the doctor  she is a tough  spunky american  and ashbrook shows this well  young yee jee tso shows promise as chang lee  and ive seen him in other stuff in which he usually plays the punk kid who dies at the end  this film included   which  imho  wastes his talent  the only problem with the acting is eric roberts  one time he had to say to mcganns doctor   i always dress for the occasion   but he broke it up  and said it so slowly that it wounded up sounding like a song lyric   i always    dress    for the occasion   you need an actor less slow and less reliant on moving his hands to act  and whos also british  like mcgann is as the doctor  executive producer phil segal said he was casted because fox insisted on having one american star in the role  i dunno who thought of casting him  but if theyre reading this  news flash  eric roberts is  not  a star  he rides on his sisters coattails  and any hit movie he makes has nothing to do with him  is this problem the kisses to the past  they have references to the show so subtle that non fans would not notice them  only whovians would  and theyre good  is it the script or the movie as a whole  the script is a classy piece of work  featuring a master who can spit slime out of his mouth and nice dialogue  and the movie as a whole is one fans will love  and it is a good stand alone viewing for nonfans to enjoy the series  so what is it  simple  no plot  the master  on his last legs  sends for the doctor to rescue him after the daleks put him on trial on their planet skaro and exterminate him  the doctor attempts to take his remains back to gallifrey  but they accidentally land in san francisco  1999  december 31  where the master  with young street hood chang lees help  opens the eye of harmony  which will suck the earth through it at midnight if the doctor  with the help of female surgeon  dr  grace holloway  doesnt close it by then  virtually no plot  i was told the movie wouldve featured the daleks on screen and started with more of a courtroom drama between the master and the daleks  but a lot of rewriting went on on the set  that shows how smart people are  as it would have made the movie a hell of a lot more interesting  and that wouldve gotten a four star rating out of me  
pos	dreamworks pictures presents a jinks cohen company production kevin spacey annette bening  american beauty  thora birch allison janney peter gallagher mena suvari wes bentley and chris cooper coproducers stan wlodkowski alan ball music by thomas newman costume designer julie weiss film editor tariq anway chris greenbury production designer naomi shohan director of photography conrad l  hall  a  s  c  produced by bruce cohen  dan jinks written by alan ball directed by sam mendes  both my wife and daughter think im this gigantic loser  and theyre right  i have lost something  i didnt always feel this sedated   with that piece of dialogue  we are fully introduced to lester burnham  kevin spacey   a 42 year old man trapped within his own life  lester works for an advertising agency  his growing dissatisfaction with his job is only one of the midlife crisis he is suffering  estranged from both his wife and his daughter  lester starts to crack under the stress  his life becomes nothing more than a series of mastubatory fantasies  and sullen apathy  carolyn burnham  annette bening   is the prototypical career woman homemaker  she carefully tends her rose garden  decorates her home with the best furnishings  but inside she is desperate  unsuccessful at her profession as a real estate agent  she drives herself into states of denial and self loathing that only feed her growing resentment towards her family  the third member of this antifamily is jane burnham  thora birch   lester and carolyns daughter  a young girl going through the typical stages of adolescence  but having to also come to terms with her families growing dysfunction  this funny  and frightening  slice of life is refreshingly simple  not one character is given less than is needed to identify him or her  some of the most telling characters are those that serve to highlight other characters  most notably is barbara fitts  allison janney   the almost catatonic wife of retired marine colonel fitts  she has almost no dialogue  and seems to be either recovering from a stroke or suffering from one  colonel fitts  chris cooper  is an angry and frightened man  his rage directed almost singularly at his son  ricky  wes bentley  who has just moved with his family to the same neighborhood as the burnhams  in fact they are the next door neighbors  anymore detail into the personalities of these marvelously diverse characters would deprive one of the many pleasures and surprises to be had in  american beauty   alan ball  who was the coexecutive producer of the hit tv series  cybil  and creator of the new sitcom  oh grow up   has fashioned one of the most insightful and expertly tuned screenplays to have hit the screen in the past ten years  not one character in this film rings falsely  and the depth of personality in each  is achingly honest and insightful  the plot detailing the last year in the life of a man as he tries to find his own self worth is so resoundingly cliched and at the same time original as to bring to mind such marvelous film work as  the graduate  or  lolita   kevin spacey turns in one of this years most pragmatic performances  his lester burnham is an everyman caught up in the middle of a life that is spiraling into old age  finally unable to deal with the lost soul that he has become  lester tries to return to his youth  he quits his job  actually blackmailing his employer for one years salary   starts smoking pot  fantasizes about his daughters girlfriend angela  mena suvari  in a marvelous performance here   starts working out  and finally takes a job at the local fast food outlet  mr  spaceys performance is so remarkably subtle and ingenuous  that we can be certain that come oscar  time  we can be assured to see him name among the five nominees  annette bening also turns in what may be the best performance of her career  carolyn burnham is a woman who has become so insecure as to be caught up in maintaining the facade of normalcy  unable to cope with her growing disillusionment  she forces herself to maintain her demeanor  driving her further and further into desperation  adultery and possibly murder  ms  bening makes the character of carolyn so compelling as to be identifiable to almost anyone  the slow and methodical turn from happy home maker to charnel house martha stewart is too frightening to express in words  thora birch holds her own against the talents cast with her  jane burnham is both an innocent girl caught up in what is a dysfunctional family  and a rebellious child ready to abandon them at any moment  her growing distrust and isolation from her family is something that many parents should view as a warning  she is the prototypical trophy child  when carolyn praises her daughter after a performance by her cheerleading team   im so proud of you  honey  you didnt screw up once     the bitterness and resentment are palpable  thora birch is a young actress to watch  praise must also go to chris cooper who brings yet another angry father role to life with depth and resonance  colonel finn is a man in complete denial  his military upbringing masking a desire he is too repulsed to even comprehend  wes bentley as ricky finn is fine as the enigma  the boy next door who may be more foe than friend  a deceitful and calculating young man  whose voyeuristic proclivities mask a deeper and more profound understanding of life than any of the adults around him  mr  bentleys performance is the one troublesome note in the film  that is simply because the character is such a grand and complete liar  that one almost faults the performance for it  director sam mendes handles all of the particulars of the cast and the settings with a sure and composed style that is neither intrusive nor subtle  scenes of carolyn walking through the rain  carry an ominous fission that calls attention to the emotions of the character  the subtle cinematography by conrad hall is wonderful  capturing the season in all of its harsh beauty  fall has never looked so inviting  yet depressing   every nuance of  american beauty  begs its audience to think and examine  it is a film that will be discussed and debated for years to come  and well it should  as it is simply one of this years best  
pos	will hunting  matt damon  is a natural genius  for a movie character  thats usually a death sentence  its a trait associated with what my brother calls  too good for this world  movies  like phenomenon or powder  forgive me for spoiling the ending  but will doesnt die  this is no formula movie  in fact  its quite fresh and original  its a character study more than anything  and thats not surprising  considering it was written by two actors  damon and costar ben affleck  will works whatever kind of job he can get  first hes a janitor  then he works construction  offscreen he speed reads books on any academic subject that interests him  onscreen he hangs out with his friends  picking fights in robust  romanticizedhemingway fashion  lambeau  stellan skarsgard from breaking the waves   a math professor  learns that the janitor  will  is a genius with a special talent for advanced mathematics  having confirmed hes not a fluke or a savant  he does what he can to get will into the education system  he is firmly rejected  finally  will lands in jail for one of his fights  lambeau can get him probation instead of prison time as long as will agrees to therapy sessions and to discussing mathematics with him  will  barely  decides to go for the therapy over prison  lambeau treats will like a son  hes proud of  and amazed by  wills accomplishments in mathematics  he encourages will and tries to give him structure  knowing that  with a little discipline  he could be bigger than einstein  will isnt really interested in academia  he knows he would be the best in his field  and therefore spend all of his time in an office  explaining math to people like lambeau  he would rather work construction  which breaks lambeaus heart  meanwhile  will attends his mandated therapy sessions  its not long before he shreds all the therapists on lambeaus  a  list  will has read enough psychology to know the tricks of the trade  and how to keep them from affecting him  shrink after shrink refuses to return after wills mockery  lambeaus last hope is his old college roommate  now a psychology teacher at a smalltime community college  knowing that will is going to try to shred him too  sean  robin williams  agrees to take him on as a favor to lambeau and for the chance to meet this next einstein  true to form  will finds seans emotional weakness and attacks  but unlike the other shrinks  sean knows what he is in for and continues the sessions  like a foster mother with a fussy child  sean knows that the attacks are defensive and is able to take them in stride  like the foster mother  sean knows that time and quiet patience is the only approach  robin williams is excellent in this role  hes not an actor with a great range  but in the right roles he has great depth  in this movie  as in awakenings  there comes a point when the quiet  shy man accomplishes something of great personal importance  and a smile of pure joy spreads up to his eyes  williams is the only actor i can name who can make an audience cry just by smiling  i have compared will to a foster child and thats not entirely fair  emotionally  he has a lot to learn  but he is not a child  he has thought about his life and made rational decisions about what he wants  sean  his girlfriend  his pals  and lambeau all help him grow  but he didnt start out asking for  or particularly needing  help  his exceptional gift singled him out  and those who love him kept pushing him in the right direction  if i had to say anything bad about good will hunting is that it walks the line between drama and melodrama  its too sentimental and uplifiting for a straight drama  but the emotions are too subtle for melodrama  it is emotionally engaging  but its not quite larger than life  this isnt a problem per se  but at times i didnt know quite how to take it  but this is a relatively small complaint about a very good movie  a good movie allows its characters to learn and grow  it doesnt just happen  it takes a good script  good acting  and good direction  good will hunting has all three  if you are at all inclined to see it  by all means  go  
pos	if theres one thing in common about all of hollywoods major studios  its that their productions are moving toward mainstream more and more  although twentieth century fox and new line cinema have spawned subsidiaries which specialize in independant or controversial motion pictures  fox searchlight and fine line respectively   its obvious theres no significant movement underway to promote inventive ideas at the theater  so when a movie like gary ross pleasantville comes along  wrapped in a blanket of innovative ideas and served up on a platter of fine production  its a welcome change of pace for all who frequent the cineplexes  although the atmosphere and buzz about the movie are cheery and lighthearted  pleasantville should not be mistaken for a nothought movie  quite the opposite is true  in fact  as director ross skillfully brings a narrative with intense and intelligent undertones to the screen  the story  both about the joys of living life to the fullest as well as the social ills of segregation  captures the essence of statementmaking in the cinema  not in recent memory has a movie carried such weight of theme into widescale distribution  and even if mass audiences fail to see the ingenuity of ross work  it is still a testament that his picture was considered worthy enough  kudos to both he and his production staff for putting together this fine picture  it stars tobey maguire and reese witherspoon as two nineties teenagers who  through quite a bit of luck  find themselves zapped into a fifties sitcom named  pleasantville   maguire  as the reserved bud parker  is perfect for the pseudoworld  but the rebellious mary sue  witherspoon  is not at all made for the fatherknowsbest times  its not long before she sets the town of pleasantville on end  and begins to teach the townspeople  in a quite unlikely way  what life is  really  like  soon hues of color creep into the black and white world  and while some embrace the change in the passion of realism  others fear the strangeness  at one end is a soda shop ownerturnedpainter named mr  johnson  jeff daniels  and at the other end is a closeminded mayor  j  t  walsh  and his chamber of commerce  but the two sides are simply fronts for a clash of ideas that soon involves the entire town  fine performances are turned in all around  maguire and witherspoon are effective as the leads  but the true complements go out to jeff daniels and j  t  walsh  in his latest and final posthumous performance   daniels brings an atmosphere of awe  inspiration  and hope to his character  whereas walsh simply drips of sinister closemindedness  almost to the point where you can sense gene hackmans envy  for daniels  its his most commendable performance of the last three years  or more  and for walsh  its a complementary exclamation point on a fine career  also of lesser note is the supporting role by joan allen  and in viewing the entire cast works well together from start to finish  theres not much to dislike about pleasantville  and its dynamic nature makes it the perfect movie for those who want serious as well as those who dont  
pos	what do you get when you slap together a movie based on a story by the legendary george lucas  directed by virtuoso director steven spielberg  and starring one of the biggest boxoffice stars in the world  harrison ford  you get one hotfudgerockin good time  thats what you get    plot  professorarcheologist indiana jones sets out to find the longlost mystical ark of the covenant before the nazis get their grubby fingers hands on it  adventures  snakes  romance and mucho action ensues  critique  astounding movie packed with nonstop action  stunts galore  an interesting story line  great oneliners  a solid cast  a catchy musical score  and all the fun and adventure that you could squeeze into a twohour thrill ride  if you dont enjoy this film  then you just dont like action movies  period  if youre young  youll enjoy its humor  its cool action sequences and its grossout factor at times  if youre a little older  youll appreciate the interesting plot line  the romance  and yes  the mountains of adventure  watching this movie made me feel like a kid again  dreaming and fantasizing about fighting the bad guys  travelling to different countries  making the impossible  possible  harrison ford is perfect as the everyman with the brains of a scientist and the brawn of an outdoors adventurer  and spielberg manages to achieve the ideal balance of action  fun  adventure and humor  now if you really want to have a good time  check into this movie on the same night as its two sequels  rent a jug of iced coke  truckloads of nachos and salsa  an adventure hat and whip  and prepare to gag yourself into a world of actionmovie heaven  little known facts about this film and its stars  this picture was nominated for eight 1981 oscar nominations  including best picture  it lost that award to chariots of fire  but did manage to win for best art direction  best special effects  best film editing and best sound  actor tom selleck was originally cast as indiana jones  but was committed to his hit tv show   magnum p  i    in filming the well of souls sequence  the producers scoured every pet shop in london and the south of england for every snake they could lay their hands on  hence there are snakes that are identifiable from many different geographical areas  however  once all the snakes were on set  it became clear that there were not nearly enough of them  so spielberg had several hoses cut into lengths  and these were used as well  looking closely  you can tell which are the real snakes and which are not  an early draft of the script had indy travelling to shanghai to recover a piece of the staff of ra  during his escape from the museum where it was housed  he sheltered from machine gun fire behind a giant rolling gong  also in the same script  indy and marion flee the chaos caused by the opening of the ark in a wild minecart chase sequence  both of these scenes were cut from the script  but ended up in 1984s indiana jones and the temple of doom  this film begins with a shot of a peak in the jungle which is reminiscent of the paramount pictures logo  the same type of opening is present in its sequels  jocks airplane at the beginning of the film has the registration number  obcpo   this is a reference to obiwan and c3po from george lucas star wars  9  510   also  the hieroglyphics in the well of souls include engravings of r2d2 and c3po  they can be seen on a post to the right of indy and sallah as they remove the ark  the script originally included a long fight between a swordsman and indiana with his whip  as legend has it  actor harrison ford was suffering diarrhea at the time  and asked if the scene could be shortened  spielberg said the only way he could shorten it was if indy pulled out his gun and just shot the guy  the entire crew laughed and thats how it was filmed  when indy first falls in the well of souls and is face to face with the cobra  you can see the snakes reflection on the glass dividing it and harrison ford  also some fingerprints and stuff like that  when indy is dragging along the ground  hanging onto the nazi soldiers truck with the ark inside  you can see the pad that hes being dragged on  
pos	we run tings  tings dont run we   sound advice from capone  paul campbell  to his squaddie  or partner   floyd  winston bell   jamaican film  shot entirely on video  featuring a standard cop movie plot mixed with a dash of john woostyled brotherhood morals  and a little gunplay   capone  a tough as nails super cop  gets a transfer back to his hometown of kingston after successfully taking down some gangsters that have broken into his home  while he was with his lady  and killed his partner in front of him  when he arrives  he discovers that the ghetto where he grew up has gotten worse  thanks mainly to the crime boss wonie  jamaican film veteran carl bradshaw   so named because his left hand has been amputated and replaced by a grasping hook   capone discovers that wonie has been smuggling guns inside shipments of charity supplies for the area churches and  much to his disappointment  also finds out his childhood friend ratty  mark danvers  has been helping him  torn between doing his job and protecting his best friend  capone must make some hard decisions in order to make things right again  directed deftly by first time jamaican filmmaker chris browne  assistant director for such american films as how stella got her groove back and instinct   one hardly notices the film was shot on video after a while  shots are handled so efficiently that they quickly take on the nuances of the aforementioned john woo films  although the action isnt as hyperkinetic as most of woos films are  the action scenes are handled with a kind of flair though  and eventually begin to take on a life of their own  beyond the hong kong films that they are obviously patterned after   the makeup effects are particularly good in these scenes as well  with flawless squib work on display from the effects team  the cast is superb and listening to their dialogue  spoken with thick jamaican accents  half of which have to be subtitled because of their extensive use of slang   just adds to the interest  paul campbell  as the loose cannon capone  essays his role perfectly  displaying the right amount of menace and compassion at the right times  mark danvers evokes sympathy as ratty  the parttime gun smuggler who is also trying to help the community by building football fields and organizing block parties to bring people together  unfortunately  carl bradshaw is given the least to do and his character as the crime boss seems ineffective  largely because his underlings seem to run all over him   but then again  that could be the way his character was intended to be portrayed  the music in the film is composed of all reggae songs  and the soundtrack was produced by grammy award winning artists  sly and robbie  who have worked with the likes of the rolling stones  maxi priest  bob dylan  james brown  grace jones  herbie hancock  bootsy collins  and carly simon among others   the end credit song  we run tings  by the group red dragon  is pretty decent and carries on the theme of the movie established early on by the quote that opens this review  oddly enough  desmond ballentine  who plays the character deportee  is well known as a pioneer in the realm of gangsta reggae as the performer ninjaman  and he doesnt contribute a single song to the film  that i could see   which is virtually unheard of here in the us  at the time of this writing  third world cop has been put into limited theatrical release in the us  coming off of a sixmonth boxoffice breaking run in jamaica  where it holds the position as highest grossing film of all time  bringing in 21 million in jamaica  which is roughly 500  000 us   palm pictures  the company that released the offbeat  but entertaining sixstring samurai  is the company releasing the film and considering that their main focus is the dvd market  i can imagine that a disc will be available once the film has left theaters  chris blackwell  founder of palm pictures  was also involved in the production of another jamaican boxoffice smash in 1981 entitled countryman  so id say he has a pretty good track record  overall  third world cop is a pretty entertaining homage to the films of john woo  ringo lam  tsui hark  and many other action films by directors from hong kong  if action films are your thing and you dont mind intermittent subtitles  then you cant go wrong with this film  the performances and the story are solid  if only a little cliched  and the action is tight  im not sure what the other jamaican films released in that country are like  but apparently third world cops honors are well deserved  
pos	at first glance  it appears that the home alone movies are brainless slapstick intended for those with minds of 8year olds  thats true of home alone 2 and id bet money that its true of home alone 3  opening soon   but home alone actually has a lot going for it  and the cartoon slapstick doesnt get in the way  the mcalisters  all 15 of them  are going to france for the holidays  four adults and eleven kids are spending the night together before heading to the airport en masse  the littlest kid  kevin  is the victim of the older kids cruelty  kevins patience runs out when he learns that his plaincheese pizza has already been eaten  and hes going to have to starve  he attacks his big bully brother buzz  who had been teasing him  the fight disrupts the alreadychaotic dinner  spilling milk and soft drinks all over the table  a few cousins  and an uncle  the kneejerk reaction is for everyone to blame kevin  nobody came to his rescue when he was being teased  but they all point their fingers when he fights back  the ultimate punishment comes from mom  catherine ohara  who sends him up to the spare bedroom in the attic for the night  on his way up the stairs  he tells her that  families suck  and that he hopes never to see any of his family again  that night the power goes out  knocking out the alarm clocks  so the mcalisters wake up in a big hurry to get to the airport  in a surprisingly plausible setup  kevin is mistakenly accounted for  and the family heads off without him  its interesting that  in a subtle way  his parents never noticed him missing because of their deliberate desire to separate themselves from their children  first they delegate the headcount to an older sibling  and second  they put all the kids in coach while they fly first class  theyre twothirds of the way across the atlantic before they realize they are missing a child  meanwhile  kevin believes that somehow his wish has come true  hes finally rid of his family  life is a dream come true  he can jump on the beds  watch rrated movies  eat gobs of ice cream and potato chips  and dig through his big brothers secret box  slowly  the novelty wears off and he settles into the mundane  he grooms himself  he does the laundry  he goes shopping   i bought some milk  eggs  and fabric softener    he also starts to miss his family  not just for their company  but for the security they bring  the furnace in the basement is a scary monster  the old man next door is a snowshovel murderer  and two crooks are trying to break into his house  macaulay culkin is cute but he isnt much of an actor  still  we can see that kevins character grows  thanks to some good direction and editing  for example  acting has little to do with the emotional impact of the scene where kevin searches out a seasonal santa at night  just as  santa  is getting in his car  kevin asks the man to pass on his request  he wants his family back  to the real santa  he learned how to deal with the furnace  you turn on the lights and its not so scary anymore  he goes to a church one evening and there he sees the snowshovel murderer  who actually turns out to be a nice man  they talk about their fears and kevin learns that age alone does not make you less afraid  finally  in the last 20 minutes  kevin confronts his last fear  the bandits  head on  literally   this last act is full of violent comedic slapstick  and after the movies genuine dramatic setup  it is dessert  its a lot of fun  and it doesnt overwhelm the rest of the movie  on the whole  home alone is a great holiday movie  john williams original score has the sound and feel of holiday music without the disadvantage of being overplayed at the malls  and the christmas setting can put you in the mood for those family gatherings  but it does have its flaws  the smallest problem is that culkin doesnt act very well  as i said before  he is cute  but repeated viewings reveal more about how columbus covered himself than about culkins insight into his character  the biggest problem is that during the cartoony coda  the villains threaten kevins life about five times  instead of  im gonna get that kid  they say  im gonna kill that kid   some might argue that the tone is the same  but i strongly disagree  mixing comedy with specific and viable threats of murder is a sociopathic fauxpas  ill probably never see home alone 3  and i wish i had skipped home alone 2  but i do enjoy home alone almost every year  dont let your impressions of the others detract from the original  which has much more to offer than cartoon slapstick  
pos	 comedy  rated pg  runs about 1  40  starring  john goodman  kathy moriarty  and a bunch of teenagers  directed by joe dante and written by charles hass  summary  lawrence woolsley  john goodman  brings his new horror film mant  to premiere in key west during the height of the cuban missile crisis  he hopes to capitalize on the tense moment by providing an escape for the town  we see most of the events through the stories of four teenagers and how life affects them  quick and easy review  i really enjoyed matinee  the mixture of comedy and tension blended nicely  unlike many comedies this film tries  and succeeds  in getting past the stage of doing anything for a laugh  the makers of the film also cared about telling an intelligent story  the performances of all the principals are right on the mark  particularly john goodman as the schlock master  so i would definitely recommend this film to anyone looking for a light hearted  yet interesting way to spend a couple of hours  longer  more detailed review  beware of spoilers the primary reason i enjoyed this film was  that while being a comedy  the film also had an intelligent story to tell  too many comedies today subscribe to the the notion that a comedy need only make you laugh  you watch the movie  laugh a lot  leave the theatre and take nothing with you  matinee is not like that  i left the picture thinking about what i would do faced with the cuban missile crisis  i found myself wondering what would happen to the characters of the film  but most importantly  i found myself caring about what would happen to the characters  the comedy of the film centers around goodman  his character  and the film he brings to key west  i believe that goodman is one of the finest comedic actors in the business today  he is highly expressive both physically and vocally  i felt he at least deserved an oscar nomination for his work in barton fink  the other characters are often lost in a scene with him due to his commanding nature  however  while the star  goodman is actually not at the center of the film  the movie is really the story of the four teenagers  discovering who they are and what they want  against a background where at any minute it could all end  i thought the kids reaction were highly realistic  they tried to block it out  they tried to escape from the concerns of their world  unfortunately it kept creeping back in  particularly with the fear  and the chaos of the time  while the comedy centered on goodman  and the drama on the teens  there was a great deal of overlap  several aspects of the panic are shown in a humorous light  one example is a scene where people are fighting each other for the the last cans and boxes of food in a grocery store  if you think about it the threat of nuclear annihilation seems hardly to be the backdrop for a comedy  but it works here  another reason i like this film is that i like b science fiction movies  one of my favorite films to go watch is plan 9 from outer space   note i did not say it was one of my favorite movies  but one of my favorite to see   while mant  never got made  many films like it were  and mant  serves mostly as dantes homage to the bfilms he loves  so again i would like to recommend matinee to anybody looking for a good  humorous story  this isnt a gag film like many other comedies but an intelligent  wellthought out  film about real people with real problems told in an often hilarious way  enjoy  
pos	when star wars came out some twenty years ago  the image of traveling throughout the stars has become a commonplace image  when the millenium falcon moves throughout the stars  we see constellations  meteor showers  and cool spaceships  when han solo goes light speed  the stars change to bright lines  going towards the viewer in lines that converge at an invisible point  cool  october sky offers a much simpler imagethat of a single white dot  traveling horizontally across the night sky  was it really only forty years ago  when sputnik was launched  and that before then  no satellites ever existed  have we become so technologically advanced that we have forgotten that it was nearly two generations ago where people stood outside to breathlessly see a thentechnological achievement  even though it was from the russians  it sounds hokey  but when that scene occurs near the beginning of october sky  i found myself caught up with the enthusiasm of homer hickam  played by jake gyllenhaal  determined to make a dent in the space race  he becomes transfixed with his desire to make a rocket that could fly like the best of them  it is films like this that we know the ending as we buy the ticket  when lovely teacher miss riley  played by laura dern   suggests that he enters his findings into the national science fair  we know exactly who is going to win  but the joy in a film like this is in the little details  for example  homer is clearly not the strongest student in his class  if he has any strengths whatsoever  it is an undeterring vision  and a good organizer  it means that he may have to lose his reputation by associating with the nerdiest kid in school  who knows more about rocket science than he does  it means that if his father forbids him to shoot rockets on company property  that is  the entire coalmining town   he must walk eight miles one way  just to set up the rockets  which will fail  fail  fail  and fail again  homers dad is played by chris cooper  a favorite actor of mine since lone star  here he plays the antithesis of the character he played in matewan  instead of organizing union rallies  he is the head of the coalminers  who is constantly wringing his hands against the unions  this is will be one of the great unnoticed performances of the year  note how multidimensional his character is  he is his sons last nemesis  as one who most likely interferes with his sons dreams  but he truly loves his son  and wants to see him succeed the only way he knows how  through coalmining  because of his character  we can see how far weve come  the revolution of modern technology has allowed for us to see society advanced at a rate far faster than any generation before us  we dont understand that there were the generations from the industrial revolution who knew of no other way to raise a family  the paradigm was shifting under the fathers feet  and he knew of no other life  so october sky  far from being merely a feelgood inspirational film  offers much food for thought  and this is the best type of inspirational film  the one that you take something with you  btw  the final image of the film is just as simple  is as strong a contrast as the aforementioned horizontalmoving white dot against the nightsky background  another commonplace image  to be sure  but it must have been breathtaking forty years ago  
pos	warning  contains what the matrix is  rated r for scifi violence  starring  keanu reeves  laurence fishburne  joe panteliano some may be disappointed with the matrix  ill tell you i was  i sat there and sat there and sat there waiting for something to happen  now wait wait  i know most of you loved it  and im not saying i didnt like it  what im saying is the first half was extremely slow  now seeing the trailer it makes you think the whole entire movie is one big special effects show  dont be fooled  this movie has a big story  and big chunks of talky moments  but i will admit the special effects and the acting were above par  deserving the rating above  ok now to the story  well this may take a while  ok first of all  our world we live in now  is not the real world  actually we live inside a computer generated world known as the matrix  a man played by keanu reeves is about to find that out  when is kidnapped and almost coaxed to go into the real world  he does so  and finds out that he can do anything  be anything he wants to be  but he has to fight a matrix skipping bad guy  who wants to send him back to his own world or destroy him  laurence fishburne  his guide of sorts plays his character well as does keanu reeves  but i sat in the theatre for over and hour wondering where all the special effects were  yeah there were some in the first half but not enough  the trailer for this movie was really decieving making people think that this was a special effects laden movie  now for the second half  it is explosive  and saves the movie  some of the special effects and fighting were breathtaking  the sound  the music  and all the effects were effective  and the last hour kept us entertained  but with a running time of 2 hours and 20 minutes  this movie is at least 40 minutes too long  one would have wished for a better matrix  but i do have to say  i did like it and i was entertained  
pos	national lampoons animal house  made in 1978 and set in 1962  remains one of the  no  fuck that noise   the  funniest movie ever made  and this isnt just my opinion  either  everybody knows this  and thats why about a gazillion inferior ripoffs have been made  trying to duplicate its success   pcu anyone  and the first person to bring up glory daze gets decked   animal house takes place at the fictional faber college  circa 1962  where the omega frat calls the shots  these guys are wholesome  cleancut  modelcitizens    i  e  a bunch of assholes  greg  their leader  is going out with mandy pepperidge  but since the silly bastard doesnt believe in premarital sex  their relationship never goes further than a quick jackoff under the stars  neidermeyer is the supremebozo of the bunch  walking around with his dick out kicking freshman ass and trying to impress the muff  also hanging around these losers is babs  future universal studios employee and serious bitch  now lets just take a peak next door  at the delta house  over here  anything goes  you wanna throw shit out the window  okay  you wanna crush a bunch of beer cans on your forehead and pour honeymustard all over your chest  go right ahead  the frats leaders are otter and boon  tim matheson and peter riegert   otter is the ladies man  going out with another girl every night  and boon is the comedian  hes got a steadydate  katy  karen allen   but shes sick of playing secondfiddle to a bottle of j  d  then there are the others  pinto  a wimp  flounder  a blimp  d  day  a biker  stork  who may or may not have braindamage  and last but not least    bluto  bluto  played by the late  great john belushi  is the man  hes the kind of guy who slugs back entire fifths of whiskey then proclaim   i needed that   the kind of guy who puts a creamfilled snowball into his mouth  puffs up his cheeks and spits it out  and then says  im a zit  get it   the story is as follows  the omegas are getting the deltas kicked off campus  the deltas  knowing that fighting the omegas is stupid  decide to go out with style  throwing a wild toga party and ruining the homecoming parade  this is the fucnniest movie int he history of the world  do yourself a favor and go see it  
pos	every year  hollywood crowns a new  it boy  a young actor pegged for major movie stardom  inheriting the mantle from last years  winner   matthew mcconaughey  is matt damon  and  like mcconaughey  he proves to be more than just a fresh young face  as evidenced in two radically different projects currently in releasejohn grishams the rainmaker and good will hunting  damon has his first major starring role  a la mcconaughey  in a john grisham adaptationin this case  francis ford coppolas take on the rainmaker  damon plays wetbehindtheears attorney rudy baylor  who  immediately after passing the bar exam  finds himself representing the mother  mary kay place  of a terminally ill young man  john whitworth  in a bigleague suit against a negligent insurance company  while rudys  and the films  main concern is this case  he also finds time to protect a young wife  claire danes  from her abusive husband  melrose placer andrew shue  in a mercifully brief role   written for the screen and directed by coppola  the rainmaker is the best grisham film yet mostly because it does not take itself too seriously  coppolas most notableand effectivecontribution to the triedandtrue grisham formula is a sense of humor about itself  which largely comes in the presence of danny devito  as rudys unlicensed cocounsel  and golden globe nominee jon voight  as the insurance companys hotshot attorney   the inclusion of the battered wife subplot feels rather superfluous  but danes is as superb as always  then  of course  there is damon  who nicely juggles the weighty  the insurance case  the spousal abuse  and the humorous  rudys often comical naivete  requirements of his role without missing a beat  as good as he is in the rainmaker  damon showcases the depth of his talent in good will hunting  directed by gus van sant and written by actor ben affleck and damon himself  damon plays the title character  will hunting  a troubled young construction workerjanitor at mit who also happens to be a supergenius  in an attempt to steer this brilliant young mind in the right direction  an mit math professor  stellan skarsgard  taps his old college friend  community college psychologist sean mcguire  robin williams   to counsel the abrasive  standoffish will and try to help him come to terms with his turbulent life  good will hunting is the touchyfeely enterprise its plot synopsis suggests  but to simply dismiss it as that would be to discount the true emotional chords affleck and damons intelligent script touches  even though no one  and  if so  very few people  can directly relate to wills burden of superhuman intelligence  the insecurities he suffers are universal  the material is brought to life by the terrific ensemble of actors  williams delivers a nice dramatic turn  affleck  a hot upandcoming actor himself  chasing amy   turns up in a warm and charming performance as wills best friend  and the everappealing minnie driver shines as wills harvardschooled love interest  the clear standout in the cast  though  is damon  who bravely does not soften wills prickly nature but has such a natural ease with the audience that it is hard not to care for him  so many names come and go with the fluctuations of the hollywood hype machine  but based on his impressive work in john grishams the rainmaker and especially good will hunting  it is a safe bet that matt damon is one name we will be hearing a lot more of in the years to come  
pos	synopsis  leonard shelby  pearce  is a former insurance investigator on the trail of the man who killed his wife  leonard has only a few clues to the murderers identity  to make matters worse  he suffers from a condition which inhibits the creation of shortterm memories  meaning that leonard is always forgetting what happened just minutes earlier  because of this  leonard is forced to rely on notes he leaves for himself   memento  traces the investigation back in time from its apparent culmination  review   memento  is the sort of movie i wish id written  i can think of no higher praise than that  i am envious that nolan has concocted such a brilliant  involved  original movie as this  an instant film noir classic   memento  is virtually flawless  the script is unlike any i have ever seen  a notable achievement in these days of recycled hollywood homogeneity  although the idea of starting at the  conclusion  of the plotline and then moving backward in time to the  start  is not entirely new  never before have i witnessed it executed with such flair and coherence   memento  is endlessly exciting and inventive  a rare story which keeps the viewers guessing during the film itself  and mulling over its connotations long after leaving the theatre  and it is not merely an exercise in cerebrality  there is plenty of action and an unexpected dose of humour to keep the proceedings lively  nolans direction is equally effective  never losing its crispness and clarity despite  memento  s challenging gimmick  and to top everything off  all the performances rise to the occasion  pierce is terrific as the troubled leonard  moss shows great range as enigmatic natalie  and pantolianos teddy achieves a splendidly affable yet sinister quality   memento  may be the years best screenplay  and is certainly amongst the top theatrical attractions of 2001  
pos	earth is a harsh  unconsoling drama about the time when india gained independence from britain and the ensuing turmoil that engulfed the subcontinent  people who supposedly loved the same land and the same god found themselves in bitter conflict  as the country divided into factions fighting in the streets  indian and pakistani  muslim  hindu  sikh  parsee  the story takes place in lahore  which was indian before partition  and pakistani afterward  regardless of what its citizens might call themselves  the action is seen through the eyes of lenny  maaia sethna   a young parsee girl  but it is really about her nanny  shanta  shanta has a small circle of male admirers  two of the men are suitors  hasan  rahul khanna   a hindu  and dil navaz  aamir khan   a muslim  the otherssikh  hindu  muslimare older  some are married  but all appreciate shanta  who is played by the stirringly beautiful nandita das   she also starred in deepa mehtas previous film  fire  the first part of a thematic trilogy which will conclude with water   in an early scene  the men are sitting in a park talking with shanta and lenny  political tension in the country is growing as the day of independence nears  one of the men remarks  jokingly  that their little group is probably one of the last places in the city where the different religions can still get along  he is wrong  the men make barbed little comments to each other  spoken like jokes  but with an undercurrent of fanaticism  the tenor of these exchanges grows darker and more bitter as the movie progresses  it is easy to perceive  in these squabbles  the trajectory which ends in mass violence and slaughter  the group around shanta represents  in a sense  a united india  and shanta herself the ideal motherlandone which all love  which inspires hindu  muslim  and sikh to live peacably together  but the circle around shanta is sundered  as is the state  a sikh is persecuted  hides  then flees  another man is murdered  the group of friends will not meet again  the movie is rife with images of breakage and destruction  a plate shattered on the floor  a stuffed toy torn apart by an upset child  and  most brutally  when the tension escalates into violence  a man is held down  tied between two cars  and ripped in half by the opposing movement of the vehicles  it is a visceral and effective metaphor for a country which is being destroyed just as painfully  the crux of earths plot is the transformation undergone by dil navaz  his sisters are killed in brutal fashion  by hindus  because they are muslim  dil navaz seeks solace from shanta  and asks in desperation that she marry him  but she loves hasan  and tenderly refuses dil navazs offer  the combination of familial anguish and romantic rejection twists inside him  and it is easy to see how he is seduced by the growing mob mentality  the muslim cause gives him a motive to vent his anger and hate  despite the things he later does  it is to the credit of earth that it does not simply denounce dil navaz and those like him  but shows how circumstances can make decent enough men do monstrous things  the conclusionthe consequence of dil navazs transformationis rather abrupt  the story earth tells does not end  it just stops  it is an appropriate finish  giving us closure would have imparted  at least on an aesthetic level  a sense of resolution  of satisfaction  but there was no resolution for india and pakistanthey have been at war  on a small or large scale  for decades  since the personal dramas in earth mirror the political struggles of a nation  it is only right that those dramas should have no terminus  there is no healing to be had  no closure  on any level  despite the needless  tackedon ending  with voiceover narration from lenny as an adult  framing the story   earth is  in some ways  an unexceptional movie  it does not reinvent the wheel  following instead the standard pattern of historical dramas  but deepa mehtas directon is assured  and the issues she addresses run deep  earth does for india what movies like zhang yimous to live and tian zhuangzhuangs the blue kite did for china  they show us the agonies endured by unremarkable people who had the bad luck to be caught up and smashed in the crucible of history  such films strike me as inherently valuable  even when flawed  they may be biased or inaccurate  but they bear the weight of human hardship  and this confers on them a nobility and gravity which other  more inventive films  often lack  it is notable that all three movies were banned in their native countries  the events shown may have happened decades ago  but they still touch a nerve  the issues tackled in earth have a particular urgency in light of the nuclear test bombings that took place last year  in the near future  india and pakistan may launch nuclear missiles at each other  at the time of the tests i had some understanding of the reasons why this might happen  after seeing earth  i have a much  much better understanding  
pos	up until about a year ago  john travoltas career consisted of those  look whos talking  movies  notice how they never called them look whos talented  and the 1991 bomb shout  which was bad enough to make most people scream   but somewhere along the line  travolta got the starring role in the tarantino masterpiece pulp fiction and his career soared once again  weird how someone whose career was on par with the bee gees back in 1978 would experience fame and fortune once again  while barry  robin and maurice gibb could do no better than a 1993 straighttothecutoutbin album aptly named  size isnt everything   and of course  they learned that sales are everything   but now travoltas back on the hollywood scene once again  and i think we all know why  four words  contract with the devil  and this has nothing to do with newt gingrichs  contract with america   no  satan is much more humane  anyway  yes  travolta has sold his soul to the hairy host of the netherworld  how do i know  i own the document in question  amazing what you can buy at those collectors shops for a few hundred dollars  isnt it  get shorty continues in the vein of pulp fiction  with travolta as crime minion chili palmer  he goes to collect some of the mafias money from a bgrade director  gene hackman  and suddenly finds out he wants out of the mob game and into the movie game  sure  a ruthless criminal like him is far too honest to make it in hollywood  but i guess thats beside the point  palmer is determined to get hackmans next project made  so he sets out to convince big star martin weir  danny devito  to star in the movie  bringing along downandout horror actress karen flores  rene russo   who has already had affairs with hackman and devito  it doesnt take a las vegas oddsmaker to predict that she and travolta will soon be hitting the sheets as well  after the customary sexual tension and denial  which has been used in every comedy from  whos the boss   to speechless  it works in this case  unlike  whos the boss   although its interesting to note that tony danza has signed a contract with the devil also  complicating matters somewhat are the mobsters who have backed hackmans other films and want in on this one too  along with travoltas mob boss trying to track him down for defecting  get shorty is by no means on the same level as pulp fiction  despite the obvious similarities  this movie doesnt have near the amount of originality or depth as pulp fiction but it is definitely one of the most entertaining movies ive seen this year  yes  even better than halloween vi   get shorty is my kind of movie  one that mixes intelligent humor with action and violence  im definitely going to have to check out the novel it was based on  are you getting this  shorty  
pos	i was fortunate enough to attend an advance screening for the upcoming thriller conspiracy theory  this was  of course  a big deal for me because reviewing movies is basically just a hobby for me and i never get a chance at something like this  not only did i get to see an advance screening  i was able to see an advance screening of a  very good  movie  the very fastpaced film stars mel gibson as jerry fletcher  a fasttalking  witty  comical taxi driver in new york city  gibsons performance is terrific  and his character is similar to that of martin riggs in the lethal weapon films  gibson again teams up with richard donner  as he did in the lethal weapon films and maverick  and this time around  the combination works even better  the character of jerry fletcher is indeed unique  try to imagine a toneddowned version of travis bickle who  this time around  is a jittery guy with knowledge of government conspiracy coverups  if you can imagine that  then youve basically got jerry fletcher  in many ways  i was surprised by this movie  to begin with  i was surprised at how good it was  dont get me wrong  its not going to be accepting any gold trophies next spring  but it was a very enjoyable movie  secondly  i was surprised at mel gibsons performance  he provided a fantastic performance  the previews of this film led me to believe it was an allout action flick  which after viewing  it was almost the opposite in a certain sense  gibsons character has an almost uncountable number of oneliners  hilarious situations  and his character is one that the audience tends to side with throughout the film  for instance  jerrys apartment  and especially his security  is memorable  and last  i was surprised at how good the plot is  writer brian helgeland has created a terrific story  and when watching this film  you are left to wonder if all of jerry fletchers farfetched  or so they seem at first  conspiracy theories are helgelands own opinions  mel gibson isnt the only standout in the film  julia roberts is very good in her performance as alice sutton  the department of justice employee who cant seem to stay away from jerry fletcher  who continually visits alice in hopes that she will do something about his theories  he also seems obsessed and in love with her  but whenever he approaches her with another one of his theories  she shrugs him and his beliefs off  continually noting that one day she is going to slap a restraining order on him  jerry  obviously determined to continually seek out the truth  continues to research information for his next conspiracy theory  which will be printed in his newsletter  same title as the movie   although he only has five subscribers  he puts a large amount of time and effort into his work  and publishes his next edition  very soon after he does so  he is abducted and tortured by a sinister man who refers to himself as dr  jonas  patrick stewart   after barely escaping alive  jerry is forced to turn to the only person he can trust  alice sutton  the remainder of the film is almost always fastpaced and full of action and suspense  with jerrys life being constantly put into jeopardy  and more along the way  the audience  and alice  learn more and more about jerrys life  many things are explained throughout this film  both to the characters and to the audience  for instance  the meaning of the book  the catcher in the rye  and its ties to assassins  the reason lone gunmen have three names  e  g  lee harvey oswald and james earl ray   and the real truth behind the grateful dead  make sure listen closely throughout the film  as jerry is constantly throwing out interesting tidbits such as the above  definitely  when conspiracy theory hits theaters august 8th  make sure you are standing in line to see it  i am nearly positive everyone should enjoy this film  especially if you are into an actionthriller with witty dialogue and numerous suspenseful situations  and even if you arent  you should still like this film  
pos	the disney studios has its formula for annual  fulllength animated features down so pat that its hard to remember which one youre watching at any given moment   mulan   their 36th animated adventure  is the latest case in point  once again we have a tale focused around a strong central character  female as usual  disney is one of the few studios whose heroinesariel  belle  pocahontas  and now mulanget equal screen time with their heroes in recent years   add the requisite love interest and a wisecracking sidekick or two  pep up the soundtrack with a handful of strategically placed show tunes  an introspective number by a pool or looking in a mirror  a rousing anthem  a cutesy  montagebacked crowd pleaser   pose a few threats to our engaging lead  and tie things all up neatly by the closing credits  bobs your uncle  better make that walts your uncle    kids will no doubt go gaga over  mulan   or at least the fast food tieins   but familiarity can  after a while  leave grownupsthis reviewer includedwishing for a little more  maybe an animated feature withoutshock  horror  the songs  for example  or maybe a film in which a cheeky chihuahua called pepe longs to become a matador from trinidad   how about simply ditching the sidekicks altogether  it isnt gonna happen  like disneys previous entries   mulan  is slow to make its mark  the animation tends to suffer from some slackness in the early going and the humorous element  a madcap dragon wannabe  in the guise of a loquacious lizard with a case of dry mouth  courtesy eddie murphys animated vocal talents   plays like an inappropriate if necessary  formulawise  afterthought  however  after about an hour everything comes together and the formula  like it or not  clicks  highlights include a spectacular cavalry charge on a snowcovered pass  which  due to the sophistication of todays computergenerated imagery  is hard to tell from the real thing   a memorable  showstopping musical interlude   ill make a man out of you   penned by matthew wilder and david zippel   and last but not least  mulan herself  voiced by mingna wen  mulan is disneys strongest female character to date  when hordes of huns pour over chinas great wall and threaten to overthrow the imperial palace  the emperor decrees that every family in the land dispatch one man to serve in the imperial army  since mulans father is infirm  but proud  the highspirited mulan steals her fathers armor and  incognito  signs up to face the mongolian menace  attracted to  but not distracted by  her commanding officer shang  b  d  wong   mulan outmatches her fellow combatants in smarts  wit  and physical ability  shes a woman of the 90s a couple of millennia ahead of her time  
pos	i had been expecting more of this movie than the less than thrilling twister  twister was good but had no real plot and no one to simpithize with  but twister had amazing effects and i was hoping so would volcano volcano starts with tommy lee jones at emo  he worrys about a small earthquake enough to leave his daughter at home with a baby sitter  there is one small quake then another quake  then a geologist points out to tommy that its takes a geologic event to heat millions of gallons of water in 12 hours  a few hours later large amount of ash start to fall  then     it starts  the volcanic eruption     i liked this movie    but it was not as great as i hoped  i was still good none the less  it had excellent special effects  the best view    the helecopters flying over the streets of volcanos  also    there were interesting side stories that made the plot more interesting  so    it was good   
pos	disneys 35th animated feature a retooling of the olympian legend crossed with  well  the superman story is surprisingly soft at the center  great wit  great art  and a great villain  james woods as hades  lord of the underworld and local lounge act  cant quite stifle the yawns induced by a bland hero  his colorfully monotonous sidekick  danny devito as the satyrical trainer phil   and a largely unremarkable soundtrack   none of the alan menkendavid zippel tunes are particular ly noteworthy  some lack lyrical snap  others need more memorable melodies  boring ballads we expect  but boring production numbers  too   so  hercules is a bit of a long sit  but you wont stay bored  the highlights include a nifty round of animated action  herc battling a cgi hydra   a steady stream of anachronisms   somebody call ixii   and pop references   lets get ready to rumble    a la aladdin  and several longoverdue jabs at the mouses marketing and merchandising depart ments  while not as rocksolid as hunchback  its a still a new world of improvement over pocohontas  directed by ron clements and john musker  with voice credits including tate donovan  susan egan  bob goldthwait  matt frewer  samantha eggar  paul shaffer  and  as lighting bolt zeus  rip torn  whos having a very good summer  also appearing in trial and error and men in black  
pos	the computeranimated comedy  shrek  is designed to be enjoyed on different levels by different groups  for children  it offers imaginative visuals  appealing new characters mixed with a host of familiar faces  loads of action and a barrage of big laughs  including numerous gags related to body functions and yucky substances  apparently a requisite in contemporary family films   for adults  its a fractured fairy tale packed with rude jokes that will sail over the heads of the kids  all in all   shrek  is a snappy ride  although there are a couple of points i found disturbing  but first the basics  based very loosely on a 1990 childrens story   shrek  follows several momentous days in the life of the title character  a rotund green ogre voiced by mike myers in that pleasant scottish accent he is so fond of using  shrek is a grumpy fellow living a solitary life deep in the swamp  until a local nobleman disturbs his peace  petty tyrant lord farquaad  take away the  awk  in the middle and you have the basis of a string of impolite oneliners  owns the land on which shrek resides  he proceeds to turn the ogres yard into an ellis island for storybook characters when he banishes the fanciful beings from his castle  as a result  shrek finds himself surrounded by legends like the three blind mice  pinocchio  the big bad wolf  the seven dwarfs  and the three bears  to name but a few  an enraged shrek storms to the castle  only to find farquaad  john lithgow  ready to bargain  lord obnoxious wants to become king and the magic mirror from  snow white  has shown him the way  all he has to do is rescue a damsel in distress and make her his wife  the mirror unveils three choices in a presentation straight out of  the dating game   when snow white is shown  the cheeky announcer purrs   even though she lives with seven men  shes not easy    farquaad selects the lovely princess fiona  cameron diaz  and offers shrek a deal  if the ogre snatches fiona from the dragonprotected  lava moatfilled castle in which she is held captive and brings her to the throne  the lord will allow the fairy tale pests to move back on his grounds  shrek reluctantly agrees and sets off on his quest  accompanied by a motormouthed donkey  eddie murphy  determined to make the green grump his best friend  they finally hook up with the princess  only to learn she is not the helpless maiden they expected to meet  for the matter  the dragon offers a few surprises as well  the movie references a great many other flicks  from  babe    thatll do  donkey  thatll do   to  the graduate   but the lions share of the jokes come at the expense of the wonderful world of disney  the publicdomain characters made into icons in various disney films take their hits  pinocchio is referred to as a  possessed toy  and when shrek spies a sleeping snow white in his cabin  he bellows   get that dead broad off the table    but the biggest slams come when shrek visits farquaads royal domicile  which closely resembles a certain magic kingdom  from its souvenir stands and queue lines to a display of animatronic figures that sing the palace rules in a relentlessly peppy tune that sounds a lot like  its a small world   which brings me to disturbing point number one  i laughed at all the disney swipes  but found the mentality behind them a bit sad  the acrimony between dreamworks honcho jeff katzenberg and disney big wheel michael eisner is well known  for years the two companies have tried to sabotage each others film and video releases by issuing similar competing productions on the same day  and now we have katzenberg using an entire movie to attack his former employer  heres a suggestion for the two boys  grow up  put the past behind you  theres room in the sandbox for both of you and if you farquaads cant play nice  then go to your rooms  the other area i found troubling came in the portrayal of lord farquaad  beyond all the irreverence   shrek  actually has a message  people should learn to look beyond physical appearances  because true beauty lies within  its a lovely notion  but the film betrays its own moral by incessantly taking cheap shots at farquaads diminutive stature  do we really need a family film reinforcing the idea that mocking short people is acceptable  the pompous  selfish behavior of farquaad is enough to make him a target for zingers  adding short jokes is simply mean  still   shrek  is a rollicking good time  the computer animation is mostly impressive  although several key characters look like animated rubber squeeze toys and the human movements are often jerky   the voice work is strong  particularly from eddie murphy   the laughs come fast and furious  and the moral  tainted though it may be  is a good one  to trot out a clich    shrek  is fun for all ages  parents  though  should remind their young ones during the ride home that taunting others because they are short  tall  skinny  fat  etc  is a bad thing  
pos	after watching the first ten minutes of this japanese film  you will never eat a bowl of ramen the same way again  there is a scene where an old man is teaching a young one how to eat the soupy bowl of noodles  as a master would teach an eager apprentice   you caress the noodles with the chopsticks   he says   then put the roast pork on the side of the bowl and apologize to it by saying  see you soon    of course  its meant to be a parody  but there is an earnestness underneath the silliness that makes you take it with a certain degree of sobriety  you begin to appreciate the food as not merely something you eat  not something you like  not something you enjoy  but rather something you experience  experiencing it is a process which engages all of the senses  fulfilling each one on its own terms and weaving them so that the total is a pleasure that is more than the sum of its parts  trust me  you really want to go find a noodle shop at this point  juzo itamis tampopo brings the same sense of the serious parody of food to the forefront by making the story follow the pattern of an american western  set in modern day japan  a stranger  goro  tsutomu yamazaki   comes into town and finds tampopo  nobuko miyamoto   the proprietor of a small  holeinthewall noodle shop  trying to fend off the insults of the local strongman  pisken  rikiya yasuoka   goro  to defend the honor of this woman and her noodles  gets into a fight with the ringleader and his henchmen  emerging bloodied  but victorious  goro finds that tampopos ambition is to have a shop that people would flock to from far away  just to eat a bowl of her ramen  the problem is  her fare is something less than popular  and less than appetizing  however  goro agrees to help tampopo in her quest  and in the process they seek the wisdom of an elderly noodle expert  enlist the aid of a wealthy patron  and make friends with the former enemy  this film is filled with many little scenes which are absolute gems  take  for example  when tampopo tries to buy the recipe for a delicious soup from another shop owner  the price is too high  but the owner of the store next door will secretly sell it to her for a more affordable sum  tampopo meets him at his store late at night  and he leads her to a back room  she protests  thinking that perhaps this man has ulterior motives  but he insists  just when she is about to bolt for the exit  he shows her a small gap in the wall adjoining his store with the noodle shop next door  she peers through and takes notes as she watches the cook make the soup for the next day  her face filled with a joy that can be felt by the audience  this scene  while comical  is very effective at filling the viewer with a sense of trepidation  then of relief and discovery  theres also an interesting scene where goro introduces tampopo and her son to a bunch of street people who  despite their economic trappings  are all gourmets and master sommeliers  we even watch as one of them sneaks into the kitchen of a restaurant and expertly prepares a french omelet  the scene is meant to bring a laugh  but it also says that no matter whether people are rich or poor  food is something which everyone has in common  and the enjoyment of food is an experience shared by all  there are also a number of unrelated vignettes appearing throughout the film  which help to illustrate and accentuate the role of food in peoples lives  a particularly effective one involves a wife and mother being tended to in her home by a doctor  surrounded by her children  she is obviously in her last hours of life  her husband comes home  and seeing her worsened condition  demands that she get up and make dinner  the viewer knows the husbands intention is not to be mean  he is desperate for the normalcy of which he and his family has obviously been deprived  and the wife making dinner is an essential part of this  in a near miracle  the wife drags herself to the kitchen and prepares a quick meal  then brings it to her awaiting family  as the family eats  she looks on them and smiles  preparing food for her family is a joy and a comfort to her  and for a brief moment  she too enjoys the normalcy  then she falls over  dead  for a moment  the family is stunned  but then the father yells at the children   keep eating  this is the last meal your mother ever made   crying as they do so  the family finishes the meal  the scene is comical  awkward  moving  and beautiful  by including the vignettes  itami ran the risk of creating a disjointed film  but surprisingly  they do not interrupt the pacing of the main storyline  instead  they even help contribute to the idea that tampopos goal of being able to serve exceptional food is worthy and even noble  because the film parodies a western  the construction of the plot is fairly predictable  but is still enjoyable as we watch the familiar way in which the  good guys  come together for the final showdown  in this case  the showdown is against the ramen  if they eat tampopos ramen  soup and all  tampopo knows she has succeeded  its pretty obvious what the outcome will be  but when a film changes your whole perspective on something you consume every day of your life  you can afford to cut it a little slack  
pos	theres an old saying that states something about leaving the best for last  george lucas certainly followed that adage when crafting the original star wars trilogy  return of the jedi  the final installment of the series  is easily the most innovative  actionpacked  and entertaining of the three films  the dark  eerie atmosphere that oozed from every frame of the empire strikes back is gone  instead  for return of the jedi  we have good triumphing decisively over evil  a resolution to a love triangle  and walking teddy bears  even darth vader doesnt seem very intimidating this time around  with the arrival of the emperor  an apparitionlike creature played by ian mcdiarmid   vader has turned into somewhat of a henchman  return of the jedi picks up at an unspecified time after the conclusion of the empire strikes back  luke skywalker  mark hamill   princess leia  carrie fisher   lando calrissian   billy dee williams   chewbacca  peter mayhew   c3p0  anthony daniels  and r2d2  kenny baker  are on a rescue mission to lukes home planet of tatooine  their goal  to save han solo  harrison ford  from the clutches of the intergalactic gangster jabba the hutt  it is at jabbas home  a creepylooking stone fortress guarded by hognosed beasts  that most of the added special effects come into play  from a hysterical scene involving a music group to the dreaded beast outside jabbas sand barge  the effects are top notch  as soon as han is freed from his cryofreeze and rescued from the clutches of the evil jabba the hutt  its back to outer space  where the rebel alliance is about to face the empires newest threat  a second  more powerful death star  that  if activated  could spell doom for anyone who stands against the emperor  so  while the fleet prepares for the final battle  luke and company travel to the forest moon of endor to knock out the shield that defends the death star against all attacks  there  they are befriended by the ewoks  the teddy bearlike native race  and luke  fearing that his presence is endangering the group  turns himself over to vader  return of the jedi has some interesting elements  the scenes which pitted luke against the emperor and vader are suitably tense and wellacted  from a technical pointofview  the space battles are amazing  easily hindering anything depicted in the previous films  not only are there many  many more ships  but their speed and range of movement have been dramatically improved  on one level  return of the jedi is almost worth watching for the special effects  in the special edition  even more ships are added  making the final space battle incredibly fun to watch  the acting in return of the jedi is stronger than in the previous films  by now  or then  1983   mark hamill  harrison ford  and carrie fisher have all matured in their onscreen personas  the chemistry amongst the trio is terrific  as in empire  billy dee williams gives us another human hero to root for  newcomer ian mcdiarmid plays the emperor as a suitably creepy  cunning  and evil creature  although hes not as imposing as vader was in star wars  although it was great fun watching star wars and the empire strikes back on the big screen  return of the jedi generates a greater sense of enjoyment  with the spectacular  new special effects  the adorable ewoks  the sinister jabba the hutt  the evil emperor  the same old millenium falcon  darth vaders incredible betrayal  the destruction of the new death star  and the always lovable yoda  return of the jedi concludes one of the greatest trilogies ever made with a huge bang  congratulations to george lucas  whose innovative mind entertains us now and will continue to entertain generations to come   
pos	why do so many childrens films treat their target audience with utter contempt  too many of those who write or direct for childrens movies assume that the kids just cant handle serious  thoughtful discussions on meaningful issues   the iron giant   which was directed and cowritten by brad bird  late of such animated series as  the simpsons  and  king of the hill   assumes that not only can children handle such discussions  but that they can do so while being entertained at the same time   the iron giant  holds absolutely no contempt for the young people in the audience  making it a film thats enjoyable for both children and adults alike  hogarth hughes  voice of eli marienthal  is a spirited young lad who lives with his hardworking single mother  annie  jennifer aniston   in a small town in maine  after staying up late and watching scary movies on a night his mother is away  hogarth treks out into the forest to investigate what has stolen his antenna and ruined his tv reception  he comes across a giant robot  vin diesel  from space that eats metal for food  after saving the robot  nicknamed the iron giant  from electric shock  hogarth befriends the creature and takes him in as a pet of sorts  because of damage he suffered upon landing  the giant has forgotten what his original mission was  so he just follows hogarth around like a lost puppy  realizing he cant just keep the giant in a barn all the time  and that the giant needs food  he takes him to a junkyard owned by dean  harry connick jr    an eccentric artist who assembles sculptures out of scrap iron in his spare time  it soon becomes apparent that dean and hogarth cant keep the giant a secret forever  because a government spook named kent mansley  christopher mcdonald  has been brought in to investigate mysterious sightings in the surrounding forest area and considers the giant a threat to national security  he suspects hogarth knows something about the giant  and takes up residence in hogarths house as a lodger  meanwhile  the giant begins to exhibit ominous behavior that suggests he was built to be a weapon of some kind   the iron giant  is exactly what family films ought to be  because it doesn t talk down to its audience  the story is simple  very simple  about an alien being that drops out of the sky and befriends a young boy  its very similar to the spielberg classic  e  t    and such comparisons are actually deserved in the case of  the iron giant   the film holds many of the better elements of spielbergs film  such as the ability to be sentimental without turning sappy  the film delivers several serious messages  the most important of which is ones ability to choose ones own fate  hogarth teaches the giant to go against his programming and become what he wants to be  a hero  the final sequence is touching and appropriate  though i wont give it away  i will say that very few will be disappointed  the animation  while not up to disney standards  what could be  after  tarzan     is good enough to make you forget youre watching a cartoon  the giant is computeranimated  while the human characters are all handdrawn the oldfashioned way  the characters faces are done quite well  drawn realistically enough to make the personalities credible  but the features are exaggerated so as to allow for the cartoonish expressions that provide for comic relief  fine voice work is turned in by young eli marienthal as hogarth  and jennifer aniston is surprisingly convincing as his waitress mother  harry connick jr  does a nice characterization as dean  and i really enjoyed the voice work of john mahoney  of tvs  frasier   as an army general called in by agent mansley  unlike several cartoon features  each character is actually a developed personality  rather than a stereotype  and is actually integral to the plot  rather than being a superfluous comicrelief sidekick  a clich  disney still hasnt ditched   dean  for example  could have been a stereotypical beatnik  his character profile seems to suggest that   but he is presented as a character with real emotions  thoughts  and motivations  even the heavy  agent mansley  is not a villain who does bad things simply because he wants to  but out of his own fear and paranoia  a lesser animated feature would have drawn up paperthin stereotypes and figure the kids wont mind  but  the iron giant  has clearly put a little work into making the characters real  and it pays off  the film isnt only around to deliver heavyhanded messages  though  its also very funny  and the humor is of the kind that both children and adults will enjoy  the scenes in which hogarth teaches the giant to do certain things  such as dive into a pool  are handled well  and director brad bird clearly has a sense of comic timing  having worked on  the simpsons  for many years  a sequence where hogarth and mansley attempt to  outlast  one another by trying to stay awake is very nicely timed  and also extremely clever  the film even takes some jabs at americas nuclear paranoia during the early stages of the cold war  satirizing the lame safety films shown to grade school students that tell them to  duck and cover  in the event of a nuclear attack   the iron giant  has much more of a satirical edge to it than most family films  and the edgy humor is actually quite refreshing  instead of seeing people get bonked on the head  we get welltimed  clever gags that seem to have required some imagination to come up with  when you get right down to it   the iron giant  is no more than the story of a boy and his robot  the story is so straightforward  so quaint  that it ultimately becomes charming  though i enjoy the complex plotting of film noir as much as the next person  when it comes to family entertainment  simple is the way to go  its akin to one of those bedtime stories your father told that had you hanging on his every word  but its not the story that sets the film above others of its kind  but rather the elements that go into the story  namely real characters and thoughtful dialogue  which  the iron giant  has in spades  
pos	susan grangers review of  the closet   miramax films  in this hilarious french farce  a shy  boring accountant  daniel auteil  named francois pignon discovers hes going to be fired from his job at a condom factory  lonely and distraught  he contemplates suicide  but then he runs into belone  michel aumont   an elderly homosexual neighbor  who suggests a  sex discrimination  lawsuit to intimidate management  as evidence  belone concocts provocative photographs of pignon locked in a leatherclad embrace with another man and mails them anonymously to pignons boss  when the racy snapshots start circulating around the factory  not only does pignon get his job back but he suddenly finds himself the focus of attention as an openly gay man  his lusty supervisor  michele laroque  is so intrigued that she wonders if  perhaps  she could change his sexual preferences  even his exwife  alexandra vandernoot  and indifferent teenage son  stanislas crevillen  drop their disdain  but not everyone is enchanted  a mucho macho coworker felix  gerard depardieu   a selfrighteous homophobe  is stunned and repulsed when hes forced by the pr director  thierry lhermite  to grovel and court pignons friendship or risk losing his own job  writerdirector francis verber artfully milks the farcical comedy as he dissects the hypocrisy of political correctness  veering offtrack only occasionally into pedophilia  daniel auteuil   the widow of saintpierre   is delightful  particularly with a blownup condom perched on his head  riding on a float in a gay pride parade  and gerard depardieu delivers one of his most restrained  and effective  performances  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   the closet  is a frankly sexual  adult 8  its so clever  in fact  that hollywood is already planning to remake it in english  like  la cage aux folles   
pos	roman emperor marcus aurelius  richard harris  chooses his trusted general maximus  russell crowe  as his successor  however the emperors evil son commodus  joaquin phoenix  murders his father before the announcement can be made  and maximus  as well as his family  is sentenced to be executed  maximus is able to escape his executioners  but is later captured and sold as a slave to proximo  oliver reed   proximo is looking for gladiators to earn himself money  he being a former gladiator himself   and maximus reluctantly uses his skills to prove himself a powerful gladiator  when emperor commodus announces that new games will be held in the colisseum  proximo takes his gladiators there to do battle  maximus sees this as his chance to exact revenge on commodus  gladiator begins with a great battle sequence between the roman army and germania  and actually is able to maintain interest during the now required  40 minutes of exposition after a kick ass opening sequence  style of moviemaking  the only downfall of the opening sequence is the editing style used    its choppy slowmotion which is unsettling and distracting  its similar to the opening sequence in saving private ryan  but nowhere near as effective  the actual gladiator battles are thrilling  but also a bit disjointed  many times its unclear as to exactly whats going on    all the audience can tell is that blood is being spilled  were not sure whos blood or by whos hand though  theres an instance of this earlier in the film too thats disappointing  its comes when maximus escapes his executioners  some flashes and a few quick cuts later and maximus is free    but i still dont know exactly how he did it  russell crowe should have become a major star after his gleefully over the top role as a computer generated serial killer in 1995s virtuosity  for whatever reason his stardom never arrived    but he should have it now  from here on moviegoers should now be able to say   lets go see the new russell crowe movie   he gets the best scene in the film  and one of the best moments of all recent movies  when he reveals his identity to commodus in the colisseum  its both rousing and chilling  joaquin phoenix does a very effective job of making commodus a person and not just a cartoon character  which could have easily happened   commodus is conniving  sneaky and whiny  but phoenix never lets the character get silly  its a very good  and very creepy  performance  oliver reed died during the filming of gladiator  and its a huge loss to the acting world  ive always been fascinated with reed    hes one of those very talented performers who once had a fine career but ended up in direct to video junk during his twilight years  its ironic that this film probably would have gotten him back into real movies again  as he gives a fun and sincere performance  the film is dedicated to him  and he will surely be missed  reeds death presented the filmmakers with an obvious problem  as he still had scenes to be completed  rather than recast the role  and end up reshooting a great deal of footage   a digital version of oliver reed was created at a reported cost of 2 million dollars  ironically  that was probably more money than reed ever earned for a single film  anyway  this digital effect is only used in one scene that i am aware of  for about twenty seconds  and if you arent looking for it you wont even be able to tell  some of the other digital effects are less convincing however    and like i always say  noticable digital effects take me out of a movie immediately  its sad that such a good film has these distractions  movies like the fall of the roman empire and spartacus seemed to do okay without the use of computer effects  keep in mind that gladiator is based on real people and real events  but is entirely a work of fiction  however its a work of fiction thats great entertainment  and another film to add to the list of damn fine flicks released in 2000 a  d  
pos	what a great film  what a stunning  touching  heartwrenching  heartwarming  lifeaffirming  miraculous film  from its opening moments  life is beautiful walks that fine line between serious tragedy and uplifting comedy  a car with no brakes speeds through the town  and guido  roberto benigni  motions people to move out of the way  they mistake him to be the fascist president  traveling to their town that day  heil  heil  huh  shortly thereafter  the president drives through  and people stare  with blank faces  this is standard  but somehow fresh and postmodern stuff  the clown who is also a jew  triumphs over the antisemitic society in which he  lives  granted  the great dictator comes to mindcharlie chaplins almost masterpiece  i think lib  which benigni wrote and directed  trumps gd in one essential point  chaplins jewish barber gives a great speech at the climax  but to do so  he had to break completely from character  benigni is given a similar situation  he is mistaken as a fascist dignitary  and must explain to a classroom filled with schoolchildren  on how scientists have concluded that aryans are the superior race  benignis guido stays in character  and delivers the speech  keeping  the subject matter intact while showing the absurdity of its concept  it  is one of the great satirical scenes in modern cinema  there are many other scenes  especially in the first half  which are bright and loopy and funny and silly  slapstick reigns  and although the film is subtitled  there was no doubt that a universal language was being conveyed  and although its focus is on the courtship of guido  to dora  played by nicoletta braschi  benignis real life wife   a silent undercurrent creeps in  this is clearly a racist society  evidenced by the aforementioned scene and others  and it will soon affect him and  his family  the second half of the film takes place five years later  in an unnamed concentration camp  where guido  dora  by her insistence   and their fiveyear old son  giosue9  giorgio cantarini   are deported  guido  seeing the horrors  is desperate to protect his wife and child  for  his wife  who is separated from him  he must find ways to communicate to  her that he is all right  for his son   and this is the most controversial part of the film  he convinces the youngster that this is all one big elaborate game  its rules include hiding  being very quiet  and learning to not ask for seconds  which raises the big questions  how do we deal with pain  with persecution  with injustice on the worst level  its said that tragedies bring out the best in people  finding strengths they did not realize they had  other times they deteriorate  become overwhelmed  with little strength or incentive to swim  sometimes even  people giggle in these moments  as if there were a vacant emotion behind them  yearning for some brightness to soothe their wounds  benignis guido realizes this  he is the clown  but he is not a fool  he sees the slurs and the vandalism  and while feeling the weight of  the verbal attacks  he still has the audacity to see if everyone around  him  perhaps even the antagonists  laugh  his liberty is stripped  but not his dignity  and certainly not the dignities of those around him  its obvious from the onset that here is someone who is very much against fascism and the preposterousness of an aryan nation  but does so with a grinning  joyful demeanor  perhaps that is a form of denial  perhaps his alternate reality is all that he could muster  not unlike the very different brazil   or    perhaps this is an example of great fortitude  with no weapons but  wit  whatever his purposes is subject to debate  but also a sure sign that this is one of the great threedimensional characters  stranded amidst  a terrifyingly risky concept  surprisingly  it works  it is an important footnote that this film was not intended to be an accurate reflection of the holocaust  its not that the atrocities are trivialized  far from it  they dont have to be broadcast and explicitly shown to muster the same horrorless is more  i believe  that benigni was cautious to preserve the tone  and i like the theory that  it is guidos alternate reality that were seeing  however  any criticism that this is rewriting history  that the holocaust wasnt as bad as it seems  is simply offtarget  benignis film has won audience awards at cannes  at toronto  and is a definite shooin for best foreign language film  hopefully for best picture as well   he has been made an honorary jew by a jerusalem film society  it swept the italian academy awards  controversy notwithstanding  it is one of the great films this year  and as of this writing  the one to beat for best film  masterful  miraculous  a mustsee  
pos	ingredients  starving artist lusting after a beautiful woman from his childhood synopsis  great expectations  1998  is a modernized version of a charles dickens novel  in the original charles dickens classic an orphan boy named pip learns about life through his friendship with an escaped convict  his relationship with a bitter old lady named miss havisham  and his hopeless lifetime infatuation with havishams snobbish adopted daughter  estella  the gist of the story is that an anonymous benefactor sends pip to london for pip to become an upper class  gentleman   pip leaves for london with  great expectations  to be groomed into a gentleman so that he can one day be classy enough to marry estella  but life has a way of complicating things  pip becomes an arrogant s  o  b  until he learns just who his secret benefactor is  in this new 1998 version of great expectations a poor florida lad named finn  ethan hawke  with a talent for drawing has an early memory of helping an escaped convict  robert de niro   but soon the focus of finns life becomes romance  as he develops a lifelong infatuation with estella  gwyneth paltrow   an upper crust girl with some psychological and emotional issues due to being raised in a dysfunctional environment  estella was raised in wealth by ms  dinsmoor  anne bancroft   an eccentric  aged and embittered  manhating single aunt whose groom left her abandoned at the altar on the day of her marriage  this causes estella to fear the daylight of relationships  but finn thinks its just a case of snobbery  when finn becomes a young man  an anonymous benefactor sets finn up in new york with the connections and publicity to be groomed into a famous artist  finn leaves florida with  great expectations  to be a successful artist so that some day he might become classy enough to marry the snobbish estella  what will happen to all of finns  great expectations   opinion  if youre looking for a romance with a happy ending  look no further  youve found one here  ethan hawke is romantic lead   he romanced winona ryder in reality bites  he romanced julie delpy in before sunrise  he romanced uma thurman in gattaca  now in great expectations he gets to chase gwyneth paltrow  a railthin blonde   hawke plays a lovestruck  earnest and unchanged finn throughout the film  meanwhile paltrow portrays estella as alternating between infuriating tease and ice princess  estellas whole purpose is to get men to fall in love and then hurt them rather than become intimate  anne bancroft goes a little overboard as the deranged and pessimistic ms  dinsmoor  while robert de niro carries off the convict part suitably  the difference between the classic dickens novel and this 1998 adaptation is that the dickens novel is ripe with deep and timeless themes about class struggle and love  whereas great expectations  1998  is more artsy  less complicated story about a 1990s artist dealing with a lifetime tease  
pos	youve seen this moment before  recently  a particularly troubled character senses danger of the paranormal kind when the room temperature inexplicably plummets to below freezing  the difference is that when it happens to lili taylors nell in the haunting  we dont care  the hero of the sixth sense  a young boy named cole  is a rich creation  and we wish nothing more than for the ghosts who haunt him to take a hike  the seasons have changed since an expatient shot jaded child psychologist malcolm crowe  willis  in the comfort of his own bedroom  desperate to get his career back on track  even at the expense of his crumbling marriage  to williams  of rushmore   malcolm councils the deeply troubled cole  osment   the preteen displays all the quirks of malcolms wouldbe killer  scars on his body  antisocial behaviour  and the reluctance to reveal a big secret  only after cole is locked in a closet by some bullies  and hospitalized as a result  does he divulge to malcolm  in a spinetingling scene  that he sees dead people walking among us  all the time  malcolm assumes  and given his profession  reasonably so  that cole is schizophrenic  not psychic  but the sincerity in coles anguished confession prevents the doctor from taking drastic measures  he will instead pursue the supernatural angle  becoming a kind of surrogate father to cole  who lives with his single mother  lynn  collette   in the process  the sixth sense has more in common with ghost than poltergeist   though shyamalan does  somewhat unforgiveably  crib the selfrearranging kitchen business from the latter   its far more heartwarming than frightening  and the film would be none the worse for wear without its few pulp shocks  cole attracts the dead for reasons unknown  but theyre not out to harm him  reallythey just want to be heard  even if it means scaring the bejesus out of the innocent gradeschooler  perhaps the apparitions seem more ghastly to us  at first  than they really are because were looking at the situation through the eyes of an eightyearold  thats right  willis  for the first time in years  gives up the spotlight to his costar  we appreciate malcolms domestic dilemma  but we identify with cole  recalling our fears of the bogeyman or the closet monster or the thing under the bed  both actors deliver immensely likable performances  and their dynamic is manifest  willis convinces us that hes a doctor  something he was unable to do as a horndog shrink in the overheated color of night  osment is phenomenal  a true professional who resists mugging for the camera like some child stars with too much experience in television commercials do  the sixth sense  atmospherically shot by the silence of the lambs cinematographer  tak fujimoto  is actually a dramaits spooky  effective ad campaign is misleading  only because i was expecting something different did i noticerather  feelthe movies running time  which is just shy of two hours  the story unfurls slowly but engrossingly  its unexpected finish is definitely worth the wait  im not sure said big twist ending is bulletproof  but i admired its audacity  
pos	hollywood has really done the whole dracula thing to death  no pun intended  honest   its a shame  too  because the good count was probably the most frightening out the old bmovie monsters  i mean  come on  are people really going to get that scared over a big green guy named frankenstein that moves at a speed of five miles per hour  hell no  and not only was the idea of a vampire frightening as hell  but it also carried with it a kind of sensual feeling as well  not commonly associated with horror films  and not only has the idea been done too many times  but with the possible exception of from dusk till dawn  has not been done very well lately  either  this is precisely why it was so much fun for me watching the original nosferatu  i got to go back to the times when making movies  even horror movies  was considered an art form  and not just done to make cash like nowadays  and that is exactly what this film is  art  ive been a horror fan since i was eight years old  and to this day i have not seen any horror film cover the intellectual ground that this film covers  let me backtrack a minute  when i say  intellectual ground   i dont mean that nosferatu tackles philosophical questions or anything like that  i just mean that in order for the film to work the way it was intended to  a little bit of thinking is involved  with most modern slasher movies like friday the 13th and whatnot  you can just simply sit back in your chair and be frightened by the gore that is shown  those movies could have been made by a fifth grader with a good makeup kit  movies like this require the viewer to actually pay attention and ponder what is happening on the screen  you see  this movie has barely any violence in it and even less blood or gore  this is a thinking mans slasher flick  the  nosferatu  of the title is orlock  max shreck   a strange  hermitlike count that  as the film opens  is looking for a new home to buy  he employs the help of hutter  gustav von wangenhein   a real estate salesman  or something to that effect  who has a nice home and even a fiancee named ellen  greta schroeder   upon orders from his boss  hutter treks to the transylvanian mountains to visit orlocks castle and speak to him about his new home  which just happens to be right next door to hutters   the next morning  he wakes up to find teeth marks on his neck    not really a good sign  he then discovers through some reading that the count is a  nosferatu   or vampire  one of the undead that feeds off the blood of living humans  but by the time he pieces this together  he is too late  orlock has already embarked to hutters hometown via boat  will hutter reach his destination in time to save his fiancee from the deadly clutches of count orlock  the character of orlock is  of course  dracula  the only only reason his name was changed was because this was an unauthorized account of bram strockers novel  just thought that was an interesting little side note    probably the only way you will get to see this fine film is by purchasing a copy of arrow entertainments digitally restored cut  now available in stores  however  this version is quite different than maunaus original masterpiece  the movie is now sporting a new soundtrack by band type onegative and color tinting  much like the 1984 version of langs metropolis  now  i really appreciate what arrow entertainment is trying to do here  bringing a classic like this to the attention of a wider audience that might have otherwise just skipped this one  but alas  i like watching movies the way they were originally intended to be seen  but thats just my bag  you may like the newer  more  modern  version better  either way  i suggest investing your money in a copy  if you like what they have done with it  pop it in the vcr and enjoy  if youre like me  just do what ill do during future viewings  turn the color all the way down on your television  hit mute  turn on some bach or mozart or whatever  dim the lights and prepare to view what is truly one of the greatest films ever made  
pos	stendhals syndrome  a condition where  in the presence of art  a person becomes engulfed in a painting and hallucinates and may afterwards suffer symptoms such as depression  suicidal behaviour and personality disorder  grim stuff  to be sure  but the subject of a remarkable film from italys master of the horror thriller dario argento  boasting an unforgettable soundtrack from the grandfather of film music ennio morricone  the stendhal syndrome is a quite magnificent return to form for argento  it follows his disappointing american debut trauma  1992   the patchy opera  1987  and several mediocre films he produced for young italian director michele soavi in the late 1980s  based on the novel by graziella magherini  the film stars argentos daughter asia as young roman police inspector anna manni in pursuit of a brutal rapistkiller  visiting florence to follow up several leads  she is lured by the killer alfredo  thomas kretschmann  to an art gallery  a favourite haunt where he hopes to identify exactly who is on his tail  at the gallery anna is overwhelmed by a painting and faints  posing as a bystander  alfredo briefly comes to her aid and having now identified his pursuer  a strange game of cat and mouse begins  a gripping story evolves  and a coherent one  too  which may surprise those familiar with argentos often lumpy narratives  the stendhal syndrome is not a simple cophuntingkiller scenario  it is a disturbing and often compelling study of the central characters psychological disintegration  the script explores its psychosexual themes with intelligence and candour  perhaps too much so for more sensitive viewers  but as dark as its themes are  the stendhal syndrome emerges as one of the most artful and effective european thrillers of the last ten years  argento is once again working in his native italy  and he fully exploits the opportunities to use art and architecture for both symbolic statements and as departure points for several brilliant hallucinogenic sequences  effects whiz sergio stivaletti serves his director well here  and the cinematography by giuseppe rotunno is consistently excellent  the films opening 20 minutes segues between hallucination  flashback and realtime with tremendous style  proof that  at his most inspired  argento remains one of the worlds most exhilarating filmmakers  the cast is generally good  though marred at times by dubbing into english that renders speech all but emotionless  asia argentos performance is by turns risky  awkward and fascinating  its a difficult role  and given her relative inexperience on screen she deserves applause for her efforts  thomas kretschmann is chillingly effective as alfredo  and marco leonardi  of cinema paradiso  and possibly the most gorgeous looking man in italy  does okay as annas work colleague and increasingly confused love interest  but perhaps the stendhal syndromes single most striking element is ennio morricones soundtrack  active since the 1960s  morricone has scored over 100 films in his career and this must rate as one of his finest efforts  its mostly a variation on the one theme  a slow circular melody for strings and wordless female vocal possessed with an extraordinary  haunting beauty that lingers long afterwards  its been three decades since argento and morricone worked together  this is a long welcome reunion  if the film has a fault  it is that the last half hour drags a little and the film doesnt quite reach a completely satisfying climax  but by the closing scenes  the stendhal syndrome has already offered us enough to qualify as one of the very best films of dario argentos career   note  see the uncut print from japanese laserdisc if you can  dubs of this version are available from various video dealers on the world wide web  
pos	close your eyes for a moment  if you will  and imagine the sound of stephen reas gaelic brogue  silky smooth and irish like a pint of guinness  a lackadaisical  naughty little schoolboy voice that flirts and gambols  an acerbic  singsong metered voice that evokes the startling imagery and language of anthony burgess  a clockwork orange   a voice that deliciously conjures scenes both porcine and puerile  like those out of  delicatessen   or  the tin drum   imagine all of that  and youll get a good sense of what you can expect from  the butcher boy   imagine that and more  neil jordans latest film  stars  rea in more ways than one  rea  the accomplished irish actor most notable from his star turn in jordans  the crying game   contributes a restrained and managed performance as da brady  a small town drunk in an unnamed irish community in the 1960s  but its his walltowall narration as the butcher boy of the title  da bradys son  francis  that makes reas  performance  worth watching  worth listening to  and thats only half the fun  playing the young francie brady is newcomer eamonn owens and he is  without a doubt  a revelation  for as much as reas voiceover permeates almost every scene of  the butcher boy   owens commands virtually every frame  its impossible to take your eyes off him  with his crop of carrotcolored hair  ruddy complexion  and overall grubby appearance  francie brady is an unlikely hero  refusing to be done in by his alcoholic  trumpetplaying father  his depressive  suicidal mother  or the neighboring  bespectacled monster known as mrs  nugent  fiona shaw   in fact  everything was ok until  the nugent  came to town  now  she poses as much a threat to the safety and security of town bully francie and his best pal joe  alan boyle  as the looming commie menace   the butcher boy  is set at a time when the fear of nuclear obliteration is first and foremost in the minds of many    pigs   screams mrs  nugent at the brady menagerie   youre all pigs   its the start of many a related image  after ma brady is shipped off to the  garage  for psychiatric observation and da brady downs one bottle of whiskey too many  francie finally loses grip of his fantasy world of cowboys and indians  the lone ranger  and other comicbook characters  squealing like a stuck pig  francie does  the likes o that  on the nugents living room floor  and is himself whisked away to a very catholic remand home for  boney arsed bogmen   where his ever fertile imaginationand clever chicaneryrunneth over  director jordans vivid treatment of pat mccabes nightmare novel produces a sometimes disturbing  dark comedy littered with surreal touches  such as sin  ad oconnor playing the virgin mary   its not as outlandish as the trailers make out  instead  this remarkable film focuses on the effects external influences have on the friendship between two boys  schoolboy chums in real life   allowing us to empathize with their plight in the presence of extraordinary behavior  its bleak and its black but its fundamentally very funny  rea talks us through it  beautifully  and owens drags us though it  admirably  and  in tandem with jordans sure hand  theirs are contributions to make  the butcher boy  a film worth savoring  
pos	zero effect gets its title from the main character  daryl zero  bill pullman   although we dont understand what it truly means until the very last line of dialogue in the film  zero is a private investigator  perhaps the best private investigator who ever lived  at least hed like to think so   however  hes a socially inept being  and eccentric in every possible way  this fact certainly makes his talents as a private eye even more bewildering than they already are  zeros accomplice is steve arlo  ben stiller   a  normal  guy who does the business side of the job  hes the one who actually speaks to clients and explains zeros greatness as an investigator  the opening scene has steve explaining the many virtues of zeros talents to soontobe client gregory stark  ryan oneal   it turns out that stark has lost a key to a safe deposit box  and is now being blackmailed for something that he apparently knows nothing about  zero takes the case  and the plot thickens  his path leads to a young  pretty paramedic named gloria sullivan  kim dickens   despite her luminous and seeminglyharmless presence  she turns out to be the one blackmailing stark  through his investigations  zero learns why  but not without developing feelings for gloria  feelings that  because of his reclusive behavior  are new and confusing to him  i have no particular affinity towards the mystery genre of film  i can idly enjoy movies about private investigators  and  every once in a while  a film like chinatown comes a long that blows me away  actually  no private eye film has ever reached chinatowns greatness   zero effect  which is jake kasdans first effort as writerdirector  is a film about a private investigator that succeeds in all attempts  its an original  funny  and completely involving motion picture  with so many cliches available to this genre  i find it amazing that kasdan avoided all of them  but he didnt just successfully avoid flaws  he has created a great film here  one that had me interested and fascinated from the first shot to the final moment  take  for starters  the great cast of characters  pullman is terrific as zero  showing a comic flair that i really havent seen from him since spaceballs  zero is the kind of guy who seems at ease switching personalities so frequently as he does here  the fact that hes an almost exaggeratedly twisted  emotionally unstable man outside of his profession is not at all difficult to believe  pullmans performance is much more layered than it might seem at first glance  and the occasional voiceover as hes going through the motions of his job are insightful and often hilarious  ben stiller is also a very funny individual  hes the kind of comedian who makes normal lines sound funny   ill shoot you   he says to stark at one point   i have a gun  and everything   his character is also welldrawn  with an interesting subplot involving his girlfriend  angela featherstone  who is not happy with the extensive amounts of time he must spend away from her due to the unpredictability of his job  oneal also gives his character a bit of depth  and kim dickens  last seen  and underused  in mercury rising  gets a chance to show us her talent here  giving gloria the realism this kind of character really needs  i find zero effect to be an immensely funny and witty film  kasdans humor is of the best kind  soft spoken  and mostly dialoguedriven  though there are some great visual jokes   its the kind of humor thats funny even after youve seen it five or six times  theres one scene in which zero talks about how detached he is  an how that makes him such a great detective  what we see during this narration are various shots of him sitting on a bed  or standing motionlessly  with his hair destroyed and an utterly blank look painted on his unshaven face  his eyes pointing to something off camera  but obviously to nothing in particular  i cant convey to you how funny this is  but what makes it great film making is that it has a point  scenes like this are frequent  and they provide solid characterization of zero  as a side note  i dont consider myself an average viewer when it comes to comedy  not to sound elitist   i find things funny that many do not  and vice versa  there was a clump of people near me in the theater laughing uproariously through this film  and the rest of the theater was relatively silent through most of it  i have a feeling the humor here wont appeal to everyone  but theres certainly enough story and character development to keep anyones interest  jake kasdan  son of writerdirector lawrence kasdan  is only 22 years old  i found this out after seeing the film  and i cant remember ever being so impressed with a film maker  his direction is stylish without being pretentious  and his writing is mature  full  and developed  zero effect is the kind of film that ill buy for my collection  smart  original films like this are rare as it is  but this one actually has a heart and a soul  at the end of the film  i was involved in the characters  and i was satisfied with the outcome  and  with kasdans undeniable talent at such a young age  all i can do is hope to see a lot more from him in the future  
pos	the long kiss goodnight  r  meryl streep tried it and failed  even pamela anderson lee made an attempt but fell flat on her wellbared assets  however  geena davis could very well become the first bankable american female action star with the long kiss goodnight  a preposterous but incredibly fun action thriller directed by her husband  renny harlin  davis plays samantha caine  a mousy suburban school teacher and mother whose memories only go back eight years  with the help of ethically questionable private detective mitch hennessey  samuel l  jackson   she slowly remembersand reclaimsher past as charly baltimore  toughasnails cia operative  needless to say  with the reappearance of samanthacharly comes the appearance of an assortment of nogoodniks out to erase more than her memory  shane black netted a cool 4 mil for his script  im not so sure if his prose is truly deserving of such a hefty price tag  but for what its worth  it delivers the goods  like blacks previous work  such as lethal weapon and the last boy scout  the script juggles some impressive action scenes with funny  quirky dialogue  the humor especially works well in this case  for the story is so preposterous that the laughs help to keep things from taking things too seriously  but theres no argument that the more unbelievable sequences are original and entertaining as hell  who can resist the sight of davis tossing her daughter from a hole in her house into the nearby treehouse or chasing after a car    while ice skating  jackson and davis make a good team  jackson is funny as ever as ever  in fact  his spirited line deliveries  especially when he first appears  are more than reminiscent of his work as jules in pulp fiction  as good as he is  the one who should benefit the most from this project is davis  who shows much promise as an action heroine  what makes her so effective and why she should succeed where streep and lee failed is that she doesnt take herself too seriously  she is obviously in on the joke  slyly taking jabs at herself and at the situation  this is not to say that she doesnt need worksometimes she lays on the  toughness  a bit too thick and comes off too much as a caricature  but should the public embrace the film and  in turn  the notion of a kickass female  davis could have found her special niche  it seems as if davis and harlins first collaboration  the middling pirate epic cutthroat island  was just a dress rehearsal  albeit a very costly one  for long kiss  in which the wifehusband team hit their action stride  anyone simply looking for a fun  escapist entertainment that requires littletono thinking will find this film to be a morethanwelcome kiss  
pos	screen story by kevin yagher and andrew kevin walker  screenplay by andrew kevin walker  inspired by the short story the legend of sleepy hollow by washington irving  directed by tim burton  starring johnny depp  christina ricci  and casper van dien  special appearances by christopher lee and christopher walken  synopsis  investigator ichabod crane journeys to 1799 sleepy hollow to investigate a series of murders involving decapitation  townspeople believe the spirit of a dead german mercenary is threatening them  cute blonde katrina and a listless orphan help crane solve the mystery  comments  tim burton has directed a number of entertaining and groundbreaking films over the years  batman  of course  is perhaps his bestknown film and led to a string of less successful sequels  hes done biographical work  on the director ed wood   childrens movies  nightmare before christmas   and a homage to alien invasion movies  mars attacks    sleepy hollow  his newest feature which fans have been anticipating for a while  shares the similar dark and atmospheric style of his earlier work and counts among his better movies  sleepy hollow quite obviously draws its inspiration from the old period horror films of the 1950s and 1960s  especially hammer studios reworkings of dracula and frankenstein  and american internationals series of movies based on the works of edgar allan poe  christopher lee  in fact  star of many hammer productions over the years  appears at the beginning of sleepy hollow as a judge who sends ichabod crane out to investigate the murders  the movie also borrows from the universal monster movies of the 1930s  one of the climatic scenes involves a windmill and obviously takes its cue from frankenstein  i mention these allusions for a reason  seasoned horror film fans  including myself  will smile at their inclusion in this film  with the recent disappointments in theatrically released horror movies  especially the blair witch project  the most overblown turkey of the decade   we needed a film like this  not only does it have a sense of history  but burtons skillful use of setting and mood make this an entertaining exercise in horror  the films eerie landscapes and foggy towns  indeed  overshadow the actors and the plot as the most noteworthy aspect of the movie  johnny depp  a veteran tim burton actor who has appeared both in ed wood and edward scissorhands  plays ichabod crane  who has apparently changed occupations from irvings original story and is now an investigator  depp is adequate in his role  no more  no less  equally adequate is christina ricci  who plays the love interest in the film  shes a good witch too  how cute  one of the few weak parts of sleepy hollow is the wooden and cliched dialogue between the main characters  the two actors  however  carry the movie well enough  but the supporting cast is what makes this movie shine  veteran actors such as jeffrey jones and michael gough  who played the butler alfred in all four recent batman flicks  are terrific as the aging townsfolk involved in the conspiracy which depp uncovers  while i do not wish to reveal crucial plot points  i can say that the storyline becomes quite confusing  you have to pay attention  andrew kevin walker wrote the screenplay  hes the one who also wrote 8 mm and seven  walker is quickly becoming one of the premiere suspense writers in hollywood  and sleepy hollow certainly doesnt hurt his growing reputation  as one might imagine from a gentleman like walker  sleepy hollow is quite graphic  theres a lot of blood and a lot of beheadings  this is definately not a flick to take the young kids to  a lady in front of us took her two young sons to see it and spent about 25  30 minutes covering the youngests eyes with her hand  he was obviously upset by the movies intense violence  if youre looking for a good scare  however  sleepy hollow is definately recommended  
pos	mpaa  not rated  though i feel it would likely be pg  for martialarts violence   with three movies already  re  released theatrically in america  and at least three more on their way  jackie chan is one of the newest  hot properties  in action adventure stardom  and its just about time  for over twentyfive years  jackies been starring in martial arts and action movies in hong kong  thrilling audiences with both an incredible grasp of acrobatics and martial arts and a wonderful sense of comedy   drunken master  has the distinction of being the first jackie chan movie to  make it big  this is the movie that supposedly set jackie up for big stardom in hong kong  im not entirely sure why  exactly  in many ways   drunken master  is similar to most of jackies other early films  such as  fearless hyena  i and ii   master with cracked fingers    half a loaf of kung fu    spiritual kung fu   and others  in fact  looking at all these early films together  one gets the impression that they were stamped out  cookiecutter style  at a rate of four to six per year  all using the same casts and telling very similar stories  to be honest  i think that early jackie chan movies are something of an acquired taste  theyre quite different from action movies as we know them in america  these films tend to be set in the chinese countryside in an indeterminate period sometime in the distant past  with fairly slow plots that often meander far afield and sometimes seem to exist only for the intention of stringing comedy and fight scenes together   drunken master   though its plot is tighter than some  is no exception   as an aside   drunken master  was the first jackie chan movie i ever saw  and i saw it the way it was meant to be seen    in a movie theater in seattle  as part of an asian film festival  at the time  i didnt really think it was anything special    but after having seen more films like it  its kind of grown on me    drunken master  s storyline is very similar to that of other early jackie chan movies  such as  fearless hyena  i and ii and  master with cracked fingers  slacker martial arts student is taught the martial arts by a harshseeming master  and has a big fight with an evil bad guy in the end  a formula that has been  adapted   to put it kindly  by american films such as karate kid   more specifically  jackie chan plays the part of wong feihong  aka  naughty panther   a funloving  practicaljoking kung fu student who is too good at kung fu for his own good  but not quite good enough  after embarrassing his instructors assistant by beating him roundly  then beating up a bully in a marketplace  wong feihong tries to hit on a pretty girl  but discovers that she  and her mother  can hit back  better than he can    and is further chagrinned to discover that the two women are his cousin and aunt  respectively  his father  wong keiying  is unhappy about this  and is further annoyed when the father and brother of the bully show up to sue for damages  keiying soon institutes a harsh regimen of punishment  which feihong does not like at all  while escaping from this punishment  feihong meets up with a drunken old man  who proceeds to thrash him soundly  then take him on as a student and thrash him some more  this turns out to be su huachi  a legendary master of drunkenstyle kung fu  he assigns feihong a series of bizarre tasks  such as filling jugs with water while hanging upside down from a frame  cracking walnuts with his hands  and other such exercises  that seem like more pointless cruelty but are actually strengthening him up  then  when hes ready  he teaches him the seven styles of drunken kung fu  unfortunately  the lazy feihong only practices six of them     drunken master  features some wonderful martial arts sequences  with jackie winning some fights and losing others  its been said before  but ill say it againthese fights dont just happen  theyre as carefully choreographed as any ballet performance  and it shows  in his fights  jackie often makes use of objects found in his environment benches  jugs  cups  bowls  fruits and vegetablesoften in new and surprising ways  the fight scenes  particularly those toward the end of the film  are unparallelled in most american films  whether jackie wins or loses  its really something to see    and its often as funny as anything  too  and funny is the other thing jackie chan is very  very good at  theres very little thats new in this moviejackie winning fights  jackie getting beaten badly by a master  jackie going through punishment or training    these schticks have all been seen before  in any one of several dozen similar jackie movies from the seventies and early eighties  but theyre still hilarious as ever  likewise  jackie has a great supporting cast  many of whom were also in other early jackie films  and theyre often the source of plenty of hilarity on their own  the really big thing about  drunken master   though  that inspired several copycats  including a couple starring jackie himself  and a sequel fifteen years later  was the drunkenstyle kung fu  im not certain whether or not this is actually a genuine style of kung fu  but the principle behind it is to imitate the wobbly movements of a drunkard to lull the enemy into a false sense of security    and it apparently helps if youre drunk while youre doing it  genuine or not  i have to admit  theres just something incredibly fun about watching a fellow who looks utterly sloshed wading into a group of startled opponents and making mincemeat out of them before they even realize whats going on  come to think of it  perhaps this element is what accounts for this films success over any of the other jackie films    its not just martial arts  its the kind of martial arts that makes you stop and go   whoa     on the negative side  the cinematography in this film is nothing special  the film stock is rather primitive  the plot is often rather slow  and the subtitles are sometimes extremely hard to read against the background   gone with the wind   this isnt  still  if you like martial arts films  or like what youve seen so far of jackie chan and want to see more  give it a shot  its much more  real  than chuck norris or jeanclaude van damme  you might very well like it  another interesting thing about  drunken master  has to do with its video availability in the us   drunken master  is the only early jackie chan movie that i know of that you can find in its original  letterboxed  hong kong subtitled form  commercially available on vhs  from magnum video  in a gold box  for about 10   there are plenty of other early jackie films around  but these are typically either in dubbed  panandscanned form or else import tapes priced for rental instead of purchase  thankfully   drunken master   at least  is available in the aspect ratio in which it was meant to be seen  at a very affordable price  if you like  drunken master   take a look at the numerous other early jackie chan films that are out there  even the dubbed ones arent really too bad    if nothing else  you can enjoy the martial arts choreography while making fun of the dialogue   i particularly recommend  spiritual kung fu    half a loaf of kung fu   the  fearless hyena  movies  and  snake  crane arts of shaolin   also  the mostlyunrelatedstorywise sequel   drunken master ii   will hit theaters in american release sometime later this year  though what its americanrelease title will be is still uncertain  and comes highly recommended by this reviewer  also  for a rather different interpretation of the character wong feihong  who is in fact a popular figure from chinese folklore   ive been told to suggest the  once upon a time in china  series starring jet li  though i havent personally seen any of them yet   if you choose to watch  drunken master   i really hope you enjoy it  and i hope it starts to open your eyes to the wonderful world of asian cinema thats out there  all in all  i give this film an  
pos	well  i know that stallone is 50 years old now  but in daylight he doesnt look it  daylight is a great disaster movie  if youve seen cliffhanger  youll know stallones character already  a guy with a bad past  but is in the right place at the wrong time  a tunnel connecting new york and new jersey has both sides collapses when a group of robbers collide with a truck carrying  very  flammable toxic waste  a dozen or so people survive the collapses and the incinerating fireball  and what a fire ball it was   stallone  a former emergency medical service man  is chauffeuring a rich couple around  when they reach the outside of the tunnel  before the explosion  then  30 minutes into the movie  boom  from here on  the plot takes a back seat  and we are treated to some of the best camera work and action staged  most all the action is plausible and will hold you at the edge of your seat  there are a few melodramatic parts here  but  they tend to work out well  there is no general antagonist in this film  but the action and suspense makes you forget all about that  daylight is a great film  i saw a nonmatinee showing of it  and i thought it was worth every penny  the characterizations are mostly flat  one dimesional  but they have enough in them to get you to care for some of the characters  rob cohen  dragonheart  does a great job with this film  
pos	logical time travel movies are a nearimpossibility  considering that the skeptics best argument against the possibility of time travel is the idea of altered realities  writing a script that deals with this problem is an imposing task  occasionally  we get a film that does manage it  terry gilliams  12 monkeys  was one such film  but more frequently  we get films that dont much deal with it at all  there is one question to ask in this case  does the film have other virtues that override the existing logical inconsistencies  the  terminator  films made up for them with exciting action   back to the future  did it with an entertaining story  and the new film  frequency  pulls off the trick with a strong package of its own  is  frequency  filled with plot holes  yes  does it matter  not really  the film opens in october of 1969  firefighter frank sullivan  dennis quaid  puts his life on the line every time he suits up for his job  then goes home to his loving wife julia  elizabeth mitchell  and son johnny  daniel henson   the doublepronged story flashes forward to 1999  where johnny  now jim caviezel  is all grown up and working as a police detective  a strange occurrence  the appearance of aurora borealis over new york city  allows father and son to communicate through the same ham radio frank used in 69 and that john has found in the present day  though both are initially skeptical of the idea  john eventually takes this opportunity to warn his father against his impending death in a warehouse fire  and he succeeds in saving frank from certain doom  now flooded with memories of a full life with his father alive  john is initially overjoyed  until he discovers that the changes to the timeline have been disastrous  a serial killer that would have died has instead lived to kill seven more women  frank and john now must work together to set things right  with john using the information he has gathered in the future to instruct frank on what to do in the past  the premise of  frequency  is unusual  and requires getting over one very important mental hurdle to fully accept  john and frank are the only ones conscious of how the timeline has been changed as a result of their actions  this isnt explained  you just have to go with it  when frank doesnt die in a fire  john is the only one who remembers it differently  while everyone else remembers it the new way  the concept also runs into problems concerning just how synchronous the two realities  1969 and 1999  are to each other  sometimes franks changing the past results in something happening right away in johns world  and sometimes john gets the changes ahead of time  now  the filmmakers might have perfectly good explanations for this  and i could probably come up with something fairly convoluted  but nevertheless logical  if i thought about it hard enough  for example  the reason john gets advance information of the serial killers murders was because the change had already happened in franks world  and john is only witnessing the  projection  of that change   but explanations arent really the point  when  frequency  gets cooking  its a riveting little thriller  even if it is confusing  what matters to a film like this is if the plot makes sense in the moment  and  frequency  works as long as it keeps moving  the film manages to be engaging despite the logical confusion  director gregory hoblit and screenwriter toby emmerich structure  frequency  as good hollywood entertainment  establishing decent  likable characters  making us care for them  and setting up a goal to be reached and a conflict to be resolved  i liked many of the creative touches  the split screens  allowing us to see how the universe is being affected in both realities  and the greater framework of baseball to drive the action forward  it actually uses the 1969 metsorioles world series  the one that featured the amazin mets  to great effect  frank uses johns advance knowledge of the series outcome to convince his friends to believe him   admittedly  this device may only be of interest to a baseball fan like myself   i even liked the final scene  which features frank and john both fighting the same man simultaneously in different time periods  some may find this scene blindingly confusing  as the reality shifts start coming fast and furious  but it does make sense if you think about it  and give the script a lot of leeway   and lets face it  its a darn cool way to end the film  there are enough surprises and plot twists in  frequency  to keep you on your toes  and as a result the movie avoids growing stagnant  the other major thing to appreciate about  frequency  is the handling of the fatherson relationship  quaid and caviezel carry off their parts easily  its a rocksolid job from both actors  the relationship is instantly credible because they find the human truth behind the high concept  how would one react to being able to communicate with a dead relative  or with a future descendant  watching the exchanges between frank and john will give you a pretty good idea of how to answer that question  the credibility of the human relationship is absolutely crucial to the rest of the film  if we dont believe in the characters  we dont care about the outcome of the thriller plot  here  we do care  because we like the lead actors  i also liked some of the supporting cast members  elizabeth mitchell gets stuck with two thankless roles  playing julia the doting wife  and  mother  but still performs admirably  andre braugher  late of the television show  homicide  life on the street   gives a nice supporting turn as franks best friend and future colleague of john  he has a lovely scene in a diner in which he tries to explain the situation to julia while franks world series predictions come true before his very eyes  braugher strikes the perfect facial expression here  simultaneously dismayed and amused  perhaps the only thing i didnt like about  frequency  is the overly sentimental coda  during which the cameras focus goes a little too soft and the baseball theme gets carried overboard  but thats only because the film had already earned a poignancy without resorting to cheap tactics  i freely acknowledge that  frequency  may best work as a  guy  movie  since it focuses on the very maleoriented idea of fatherson relationships  echoes of  field of dreams  can be easily heard   but the underlying concept is universally applicable  who wouldnt want to speak with a longdead parent  or see how their children turn out   tell me about your life  son   excuse me while i mist up  and dont call me a sissy  
pos	blade is the movie that shows that wesley snipes really can live up to his potential as one of hollywoods premier leading men  blade is based on the comic book character of the same name and has that comic book kind of feel to it  it is a very stylish movie and for the most part that style works very well  although  at a few points i thought i was watching a music video as opposed to a movie  the ideas behind blade are good  as is the basic plot of the story  but at times  things seem to get a bit muddled  and the writers appear to want to do too many things at once  that really doesnt take away from the story too much  but it does hurt it a little bit  blade  snipes  is half man  half vampire  his mother was bitten by a vampire when she was pregnant with him and as a result he has many of the classic traits of a vampire  including a thirst for human blood that must be kept under control by a special serum which quenches his blood lust  blade has spent his life hunting down and killing vampires as a sort of revenge for the fact that one of their kind killed his mother  but this isnt as easy as it seems  because the vampires in blades world are more sophisticated than the ones that you find in most films  the government and other authorities know of the existence of vampires  but they let them feast of the population at large because they are taking bribes from the vampires  where do vampires get money  well  in blade  they run multinational companies in order to finance their vampire organizations  i personally thought that this whole secret corporate world run by vampires to be a very clever idea  and a great addition to the movie  blade runs up against the evil deacon frost  stephen dorff  a maverick in the vampire community  he isnt content to live among humans  and is convinced that the vampire race is the superior one and he means to insure its superiority  he has managed to translate the ancient vampire scrolls that tell of the method of making him an allpowerful vampire  rendering him virtually unstoppable  its up to blade to see that this doesnt transpire  admittedly  blade is style over substance through and through  the story is a relatively forgettable one  but it is fun none the less  the acting in blade is just about what you would expect from a movie of this type  this isnt a film that is going to win accolades for its performances  and the actors know this  the movie is played for fun and nobody seems to think otherwise  its a popcorn movie  and no one involved has any illusions otherwise  blades production values are as slick as any that you will find in your typical summer blockbuster  the combat sequences between blade and his vampire targets are incredibly well done  although  the mtvstyle cuts did get on my nerves after a while during long sequences  blade is a fun movie with an interesting take on the vampire genre  this is not the movie for those of you who like your vampires in tuxedos and living in coffins in the basement of some gothic castle  what blade excels at is bringing the classic lore of the vampire into the next century with a fresh outlook on life  very cool  
pos	the truman show  paramount pictures  running time  1 hour 42 minutes starring jim carrey and ed harris directed by peter weir after a long wait  jim carreys dramatic debut finally makes it to the big screen  in case youve been asleep for the last few months  the plot centres on truman burbank  carrey  who leads an seemingly idyllic life in the beautiful town of seahaven  his life seems so perfect  however  because its controlled by christoff  harris  creator of the truman show  the program burbank is unwittingly the hero of  thats right  burbanks life is being broadcast live to the american public  and seahaven and all its inhabitants are inclosed in a massive sound stage  the film takes the jerry springer format one step too far    with an idea so different  it would be easy for the director and screenwriter to dumb it down and appeal to the lowest common denominator  luckily  the film remains sensible enough to appeal to all ages  yet never seems to be a dumb carrey movie  talking of carrey  hes perfect in this movie  enjoying the best role in his career  his character is a reinforced stanley ipkiss from the mask  1994  and is completely suited to carreys persona  he occasionally falls into ace ventura mode  shrieking and being silly  but generally the audience is watching subdued carrey  hes not completely dramatic like the film promises  however  ed harris brings an extreme intensity to christoff  the megalomaniac creator of the show  quiet and well spoken  he burns an image into the viewer  unfortunately  hes barely in the film  and for the first hour dosent appear at all  also disappointing is natascha mcelhones character sylvia  she plays the role well  but her character is sadly underwritten and is pushed to the sidelines just when the audience is used to her  the supporting cast is excellent  and the town of seahaven looks delightfully perfect  so perfect its creepy  the philip glass soundtrack is also superb  and is used to great effect during the film  peter weir keeps the film going  clearly having fun  the film is far more upbeat than his previous films dead poets society and green card  although it is slightly slow to begin with  about half an hour into film the pace really picks up  and when christoff is introduced fully the film is on a roll  sadly  though  the film is practically over when the film is in full steam  also  concerning the ending  it is slightly too ambiguous  which was disappointing  the screenwriter  andrew niccol  who bought us gattaca  1997  delivers an entertaining script  and manages to keep the plot in trim  while christoffs plans to keep truman in do get increasingly silly  they never go over the line  which would have been easy for niccol to do  also  theres some funny gags involving product placement and the people who watch the show  overall  the truman show is excellent entertainment  certainly different from the usual crap hollywood produces  it should be viewed by everyone  it offers something to every member of the audience  and you would almost certainly not come out disappointed  overall rating review by david wilcock  1998  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
pos	no film in recent has left me with such conflicted feelings as neil jordans harrowing  humorous  horrifying adaptation of patrick mccabes novel about young lad francie bradys  eamonn owens  descent into madness in 1960s ireland  on one hand  it was difficult for me to become invested in francies story because he is such an unsavory character  unjustifyably venting his rage at his nosy but otherwise harmless neighbor mrs  nugent  fiona shaw   on another hand  i found it difficult to laugh at some of francies darkly comic shenanigans because he obviously is such a sick  needy child  having been raised by a drunken father  stephen rea  and a suicidal mother  aisling osullivan   on yet another hand  i also found it difficult to completely sympathize with francie during his more emotional scenes because some of his  for lack of a better word   bad  deeds are so incredibly shocking in their brutality and the malicious glee in which he performs them  however  the butcher boys power is undeniable  and the film as a whole is unforgettableperhaps because it is so disturbing  what makes it so unsettling is the francies overall winkwink yet matteroffact attitude about everything  expressed in a cheeky voiceover narration delivered by the adult francie  rea again   think heavenly creatures played largely for laughs  and youll sort of understand  anchoring the whole film is the astonishing debut performance of owens  love francie or hate him  you cannot take your eyes off of owens  the butcher boy truly is a twisted  unusual film that is bound to make just about anyone uncomfortable  in the lobby after the screening  i overheard one man raving about how great yet disturbing it was  i also heard one particularly offended woman say with disgust   that movie was so unfunny    i didnt know what to expect  its like something you chase for so long  but then you dont know how to react when you get it  i still dont know how to react   michael jordan  on winning his first nba championship in 1991    or  my thoughts after meeting him on november 21  1997 
pos	just how inseparable is the team of sgt  martin riggs  mel gibson  and sgt  roger murtaugh  danny glover   lets just say that when one partner asks the other partner to strip to his boxer shorts and then further asks him to run out into the middle of the road  flapping his arms while feverishly cackling like a chicken just to create a distraction  his partner actually does it  the familiar lethal weapon family is back  including rene russo  who is now the expectant mother of riggs child and joe pesci as the sopranalike  foulmouthed former accountant who has decided to become a private eye  new to the team is chris rock  also a fasttalking  up and coming detective  trouble seems to follow the two veteran detectives where ever they go  and in this film  that is no exception  even when they are just taking a leisurely boat ride  they somehow manage to collide with a freighter ship  we here some ominous music  which clues us that a confrontation is about to happen  gunfire ensues  and when its all over  the detectives want to learn more about this freighter by questioning a chinatown crime lord  although they dont know what theyre looking for  their inquisitiveness causes the bad guys to take some action  and theres plenty of action here for two movies  led by fighting sensation jet li  whose martial arts skill is nothing less than impressive  he does what he can to make sure that no one finds out what they are up to  li is ruthless in his approach  will kill anyone just to make a point  and develops enormous disdain for the two detectives  there are terrific car chases  explosions and gunshot galore  its a summer action recipe followed to the letter  and the result is nothing less than pure  unadulterated summer fun  but even too many explosions can get boring  to counter that  we are treated to several amazingly choreographed fight sequences with jet li  luckily  hed rather fight handtohand instead of firing off guns  meanwhile  when the detectives arent reloading their guns or running from fireballs  theyre engaged in sophomoric banter and silly conversations that provide a nice diversion from the hail of bullets  everybody gets in on the shtick  russo screams during her delivery  the crime lord has a few funny bits when hes being interrogated while being given laughing gas  and pesci and rock are very funny as they go at it discussing the drawbacks of having cellular phones  gibson and glover are always in sync and the film moves at a brisk pace to get to the final and terrific mano a mano  score one for the old guard  
pos	since 1990  the dramatic picture has undergone a certain change of style  now  instead of emphasizing feelgood stories replete with characters of noble virtues  the screenplays and direction point toward human struggle and sorrow  this realist tendancy can be inspiring at times  as 1993s schindlers list shows  most of todays mainstream drama  however  creates an overabundance of emoting that can turn off members of the audience  thats why pictures like october sky  which are a throwback to the good ol dramas of yesteryear  are such a welcome relief in contemporary cinema  the movie is based on the true story of homer hickam  jake gyllenhaal   a teenager in the 1950s company town of coalwood  west virginia  its a wellknown fact that the only boys to make a name for themselves are the ones that get out of the town on football scholarships  the rest grow up to work in the coal mine  the mine  which is run by homers father  chris cooper   is not the place for homer  however  after watching the soviet satellite sputnik shoot across the october sky in 1957  homer feels a connection with the outside world  as he puts it   anyone in the world could look up and see the same thing i did   drafting two of his best friends and the brainiac outcast  homer begins to construct rockets  with the help of their history teacher  miss riley  laura dern   and several mine workers  the four are soon bound for great things  october sky is a skillfully crafted film  and most of that credit must go to director joe johnston  johnston  whose career in the film industry includes everything from directing wellknown titles like jumanji and the rocketeer down to an uncredited role as a death star trooper in star wars  certainly knows what hes doing here  he molds characters which are true to life and also fun to watch into a plot that is straightforward and robust  he does not push any barriers  but instead adopts a conservative style of filmmaking which enhances the films charm  his finesse brings out elements which might otherwise be lost  such as the relationships between homer and various mine workers  or the silent struggle between homers mother and father  the cast is well chosen  although the true bright spots are the supporting roles  laura dern  jurassic park  lends a strong performance in the role of the history teacher  giving the boys the support and guidance they need  her role is instantly likeable  chris cooper  the horse whisperer   as homers father  is less likeable  even downright despicable at times  but his turn here gives gravity to the movie  hes definitely a driving force in homers life  and his more humane moments give the piece a certain dynamic that is commendable  the script is generally cheerful  projecting the boys endeavors in a lighthearted manner  there are moments when it becomes predictable  such as the train tracks scene  and there are moments when it sacrifices orginality for the need to come up with an emotional plot twist  it highlights the essence of youth  however  and for its exceptional job at this it can be forgiven other missteps  october sky should be a success with audiences  although it doesnt have the appeal of current teen flicks like varsity blues or shes all that  it certainly holds an undeniable quality that older crowds will lean towards  its a welcome change to the dramatic genre  and one that everyone should see  
pos	a big surprise to me  the good trailer had hinted that they pulled the impossible off  but making a blues brothers movie without jake blues  john belushi  is such a dumb idea i really had no hope  they replaced him just fine  not with john goodman  he didnt do much of anything  but with the brilliant actor joe morton  who can really sing  the fourth blues brother is j evan bonifant  whos ten  this was another of my fears for the film  but hes a really good dancer  and plays a mean harmonica  although he may have been dubbed   things that intellectually had bothered me before  like no mission from god  everyone being richer  it not being filmed in chicago  gave me no problems at all  im quite pleased that there were less car pileups  because they meant less music  and john landis seems to have lost interest in the whole thing  theres a few early crashes  and then one huge pileup  but after that it all stops  its just the music  one of my problems with the first is that cab calloways song is so good the actually blues brothers look dull after him  but theres no problems with this  the music is all as good as ever  tons of great musicians showing up  with the exception of johnny lang  who cant sing  all the musicians do a great job  the only real problems i had was the special effects  these were superfluous and a waste of money  since the film isnt doing very well  they could mean we have no possibility of another sequel  which i want to see  the bluegrass version of riders in the sky is even better than rawhide   http  www  geocities  comhollywoodacademy8034 remove no spam to reply   drive carefully but recklessly   mama  childs toy  the only excercise i take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise   peter otoole 
pos	after having heard so many critics describe  return to me  as an oldfashioned hollywood romance  i kept asking myself going into this movie  what exactly is an oldfashioned hollywood romance  what made  return to me  oldfashioned and oldhollywood  was it the tunes from sinatra  etc   legendary singers the senior citizens in the film constantly harp on  was it the glamorous  sophisticated feel  the charisma of the two leads  even now i cant say that i have gotten any closer to the real answer  because i havent see that many oldfashioned hollywood romances  i dont think any of the romances ive seen have been classified as such  which leaves me the option of vaguely agreeing with my fellow critics   return to me  was oldfashioned in the sense that it reminded me of the way the younger generation perceive venerated old hollywood magic  the way i perceive cinnamon spice and apple cider  it was traditional  magical  we knew it couldnt be too daring  or have any surprising plot twists that many cynical modern romances are apt to throw in  it was a romance told with such endearing simplicity  tenderness  and love  from director bonnie hunt  that it couldnt help but sparkle with charm despite its shortcomings  the film owes a lot of what it has to bonnie hunts direction  from the very first birds eye view of chicago  zooming in slowly toward the insignificant bob rueland  david duchovny   accompanied by the  return to me  ballad  by whom    we can tell were in for something sweet  the scenes between the characters are endearing  truthful  with just a hint of fantasy  real people dont act that way  real people arent that nice  we know all this  and yet we want to believe in these folks existence  the premise itself seems to have sprung out of a fairytale  but hunts rooting the fairytale in common chicago folk simultaneously lends credit to the scenario and tinges everyday urban life with a hint of the ethereal  everything is ordinaryyet beautifulin this film  from the festive little family restaurant to grace  minnie driver  and bobs wardrobes  from the eloquent  notinahurry to progress storyline to the dainty watercolors that grace paints  from the animal stars to the way all the characters interact on screen  the most beautiful part   return to me  has done an excellent job of assembling together a group of actors who blend in effortlessly as a family  the audience has no trouble at all believing that this rambunctious family actually does exist  we care for them  laugh with them  cry with them  were concerned that the little boy will pick up cursing from his father  whatever hunt did  she brought out the naturalism in all of the actors  disappointingly  david alan griers charlie  however much i like him  was the most flatlywritten  duchovny here does a laudable job of shaking off his fox mulder persona  with the help of his fellow costars rarely do we see any hint of special agent fox mulder  instead we have a normal guy who when he falls in love shows more delight than fox mulder will show over the span of an entire season of  the xfiles   duchovny  who is excellent at understatement and selfdeprecation as an actor showcases his considerable comedic talent on screen  minnie driver is engaging as always as the sweet  innocent grace with nothing but a good heart to offer  though an unlikely pair  duchovny and driver gradually warm up to each other as the movie progresses  while  return to me  functions remarkably as a laughoutloud comedy  a romantic scenic tour through chicago  and a tearjerker  the story is set up so the film ends up having nowhere to develop  the entire climax of the film hinges on when and how grace is going to tell bob that she actually was the recipient of his wifes heart  we already know that theres going to be a happy ending  we feel like we spend the entire film  however enjoyably  in a straight line going towards that point  as a result bob and grace click almost too quicklyyes  i know shes supposed to have his exwifes heart and everythingit seems too effortless  the main subject is a love story  and the family scenes i love so much unfortunately are overused and distract from the turmoil of the two main characters  whose story might not have that much meat after all   however  in the spirit of  return to me   it wont do to be too picky about how  old  hollywood tells its stories  i loved knowing that this was a labor of love for bonnie hunt  it shows  the bottom line   return to me  is nothing remarkable  and yet its sweetness  sincerity  and charm might touch your heart in ways that you hadnt imagined  
pos	wild things is a suspenseful thriller starring matt dillon  denise richards  and neve campbell that deals with all the issues  sex  love  murder  and betrayal  the setting of the film is a town named blue bay  it consists of many swamps and slums and  on the other hand  rich estates owned by the towns different benefactors  the film opens just before the beginning of a senior seminar at the towns ritzy  expensive high school  it is here that we meet all of the core characters  theres guidance counselor sam lombardo  police officers ray duquette and gloria perez  dark mysterious senior suzie toller  and the popular head cheerleader kelly van ryan  we first see that all of the senior girls are smitten with the handsome guidance counselor  but none more than kelly  throughout the first portion of the film we see how far kelly will go to get sam until she accuses him of rape  shortly after  suzie  too  confesses that sam raped her as well  this pushes kellys sex craving mother  sandra  to stop at nothing until sam is convicted  during the trial  kelly gives a teary confession of how sam raped her  however  it is later revealed by suzie that sam never raped either of the girls  it was all a vengeful plan against the guidance counselor  after sam is cleared  kellys mother pays sam a very substantial amount of cash in order for him not to sue her  it is then revealed that sam  kelly  and suzie were all in on it together  it is here that the film starts to reveal just who is being honest with each other and who has their own hidden agenda  matt dillon stars as sam lombardo  sam is the kind of guy that every woman would like to sink their claws into  and sam obviously knows it and uses it to his own advantage  he isnt the obvious best of actors  but dillon does give a convincing performance  however  his talents seem to be rendered useless near the end of the film  making it look as though his character has lost all of his ethics and principles  although he never had many to start out with in the first place  neve campbell  who most people relate to scream and scream 2  plays blue bay outcast suzie toller  suzie obviously has some serious issues to deal with which are obvious from her first scene in the film  campbell is very successful with this character  adding the slightest bit of charm to a seemingly repulsive character and making her fun to watch  playing kelly van ryan is denise richards  kelly is your typical  rich  sexy  head cheerleader who thinks she can have any man she choses  like her sexpot mother sandra  one of the most interesting things about this film is how it compares and contrasts the relationship between kelly and her mother  denise richards  still hot off the press from starship troopers  gives the most interesting performance in the entire film  in the beginning  kelly looks to be a paper thin character  but richards adds a little more spice and ultimately makes the character not only sexy  but dominating as well  kevin bacon gives one of his fair performances as ray duquette  this character looks to be one of the most boring  predictable in the film  however  it is a relationship revealed between him and suzie that adds depth to his story  still  the film doesnt seem to gain much from bacons performance  only his name  in the supporting cast  theresa russell plays the much oversexed sandra van ryan  daphne rubinvega gives an unappealing performance as cop gloria perez  and bill murray shines as sams lawyer  ken bowden  hats off to murray for adding the perfect touch of comedy to the film  although wild things was displayed by the press as being an erotic thriller  the eroticism  which is portrayed with good taste  is kept to a minimum and focuses more on the plot and the relationships between the characters  this is truly a very good film worth seeing if your looking for a movie with a thick plot filled with its share of twists  
pos	      minor plot spoilers in review             no major spoilers are in review       the previous two  alien  films have each had their own unique styles to them  the ridley scotts alien was very much a stylistic suspense film  james camerons aliens was much more of an action film  and i liked each film separately for which it was  now alien 3 is out  and it is its own film in the same right that alien and aliens were  unlike aliens  alien 3 requires that you have seen aliens  this is very important as the story picks up exactly were aliens left off  the survivors of the expedition to lv426 are returning home after battling and beating the aliens  the climactic fight scene between ripley and the mother alien on the sulaco in aliens left behind one item  an egg  in the opening sequence we see the egg hatch  find its quarry  which leads to a fire aboard the sulaco when the facehugger is injured  an leads the sulaco to jettison the hypersleep tubes in an escape vessel  this vessel crash lands on fury 109  everyone in the vessel is killed  except ripley  the facehugger is jettisoned with them and survives the crash  fury 109 is an exminingmaximum security prison  when closed down  some of the lifer prisoners decided to stay and live out the remaining years on the planet  all the prisoners are men who have not seen a woman in many years  ripleys arrival sparks a problem with the inmates  as for the new haircut that ripley and the prisoners sport  there is an infestation of lice on the planet  being an exprison means that there is no way off the planet and no weapons  so the prisoners and ripley are off to face the alien on their own  i will not go into detail  but you can guess what happens here  the alien is loose and no one believes ripleys outstanding story  she finds comfort in the arms of the colonys doctor  yes  after 57 years ripley has sex  it is not gratuitous  in fact  we dont even see them kiss  but it is just as well  a sweaty sex scene would not have worked in the context of the film  there is a lot more gore in alien 3  in fact i would guess to say that there is more in alien 3 than either of the earlier two  it also sports a new alien with 4 legs  i wont say how  but it leads us to believe a few new things about the alien and its cycle  which i am sure will be explored in alien 4  sigourney weaver is back as ripley and provides another excellent performance of this character  her scene during the autopsy of newt is enough to garnish her another academy nomination  the rest of the cast is also quite good  notably  charles dance as the doctor with whom ripley finds momentary escape from fury 109  alien 3 has a very distinct look  this is due largely to its director  david fincher  mr  fincher  who until now has only directed music videos and commercials  has done an incredible job here  his direction is excellent and makes this film come to life in ways no  alien  film has before  for mr  fincher  i see a long prosperous career ahead of him  the music was also done by a newcomer to the film industry  elliot goldenthal has created a deeply moving score which lends itself to the claustrophobic setting that the  alien  series been set in  this time the score is not so much a rip off of star trek ii  james horners aliens   this score has a choral back up at times and even lends itself to the old style of ennio morricone scoring  this is a great score  the ending to alien 3 is quite good  there were times i thought that hollywood would come in and screw it up  but it played very nicely  i will not ruin the ending for you  go see the film  i consider it to be a much more involved film than any of the other films released so far this season  alien 3 is a worthy successor to aliens and alien  and when they make alien 4  perhaps they will be able to find yet another new direction to take it in  
pos	are you tired of all the hot new releases being gone by the time you get to the video store  wafflemovies  com is dedicated to finding those hidden gems that lie on the shelves  everyweek  wafflemovies  com reviews independent film and big studio pictures that deserve a second chance on video  here is a sample review  welcome to sarajevo in light of americas recent intervention in kosovo  welcome to sarajevo is a reminder of the horror america and the world ignored for years  set in sarajevo 1992 and based on actual events  this picture examines the human and societal casualties of war  the picture opens with a family escorting their young bride to her wedding  as they make their way down the street  a sniper shoots the mother of the bride  yet another reminder that daily life in war torn sarajevo can never escape the horror of war  in this scene  we meet joe flynn  woody harrelson   an american reporter who stops reporting to help a priest carry the mortally wounded mother into a church  joe is cocky  but also good at heart as he continues to carry out kind deeds for people he doesnt even know  his fellow reporter is the british michael henderson  stephen dillane   michael is quickly growing tired of the horror that surrounds him and the worlds lack of interest  henderson is haunted by the memory of an altar boy who witnesses the mothers death as well as a young girl who he finds orphaned in a hospital after a mortar attack on citizens waiting in line for bread  he decides to take action when a united nations delegation descends upon the area to declare yugoslavia the fourteenth most dangerous place on earth  henderson begins a series profiling an orphanage located on the front lines  he finds children of all ages living in fear and taking care of each other with the help of one adult  during his visits  he befriends a preteen girl  emira  emira nuseric  who serves as surrogate mother to baby roadrunner  he promises to get emira out of harms way if he gets the chance  after the un delegation leaves the country without rescuing any of the children  henderson loses hope  however  his reporting has grabbed the attention of nina  marisa tomei  and her childrens aid group that helps to find homes for the yugoslavian orphans  unfortunately  only babies are wanted for adoption  so henderson pledges to take emira to england  the group of children  nina and henderson depart the front lines on a dangerous escape for italy  can they complete this dangerous trek through the war torn countryside and avoid hostile troops gathering up muslims for concentration camps  the movie was beautifully and sensitively made  director michael winterbottom and screenwriter frank cottrell boyce vividly express the societal destruction that has occurred  they show the destroyed lives  families that have been split up  and the desolation that everyone attempts to cope with  this is best exemplified by the group of yugoslavians henderson  his producer and flynn have befriended  the group of twentysomethings reside in a bombed out bar without lifes simplest pleasures and amenities  one of them is an accomplished musician who spends his days playing the piano and promising to play a concert when sarajevo is declared the most dangerous place on earth  like the rest of those deeply effected by the war  this small group tries to survive instead of trying to live  winterbottom brilliantly intersplices scenes with actual news footage to give the film the feel of a documentary and keeps the viewer aware that many of these horrors are being carried out thousands of miles away as you sit safely in your living room  the picture is also bolstered by beautiful cinematography that captures the devastation of this city that hosted the 1984 olympics  winterbottom and boyce also produce a realistic portrayal of the reporters covering the atrocities  this portrayal is much more flattering to reporters than earlier wafflemovies  com selection mad city  we watch them struggle to cover the horror  while trying to remain professionally detached  however  they are human and question the reason behind it all  why no one cares  and how they can get out  stephen dillane is wonderful as henderson  he portrays the character as an everyman caught in the middle of extraordinary events  dillane avoids making the character overly heroic and preachy  henderson realizes that he cannot save the world  but he can help a few  it is a wonderful opportunity for dillane after he had to suffer through the denis learysandra bullock disaster two if by sea  woody harrelson continues to prove that he is one of the finest  most versatile actors of his generation  harrelson plays the cocky celebrity reporter with a heart of gold by allowing the characters caring nature and vulnerability shine through  harrelson is equally adept at taking on roles as zany leading men  cheers  white men cant jump  as well as excellent supporting roles such as this one  this ability will serve him well and give him a long  successful career  americas involvement in this struggle comes seven years after the events of the movie take place  for those who do not have a full understanding of the history of the conflict  the entire movie  most importantly the opening scenes  provide a history lesson  war is a foreign concept to most of us in america  battles are fought thousands of miles away among people we have no attachment to  televised images of the gulf war are all the experience most of us have with war  this picture brings it right into your living room and makes you think outside of our own small world  something we dont do enough of in 90s america  
pos	many people dislike french films for their lack of closure  while possibly shallow  ive often had a desire for a sense of epiphany  or at least a resolution  in the films which i view  there is no revelation in un coeur en hiver in the traditional  however  the film is incredibly successful in its passionate dramatization of a passiondenying protagonist  stephane  daniel auteuil   stephane  daniel auteuil  is a master violin maker  he is passionless about all that which surrounds him except his craft and the music which his craft is responsible for producing  even the relationship between he and his boss  maxime  andre dussollier  is a controlled  and almost manipulated association  highlighted by the fact that stephane permits maxime to win close squash matches  in the beginning of the movie  stephane is a closed  solitary individual and the audience is carefully left to wonder about the depth of emotion behind this enigmatic man  camille kessler  emmanuelle beart  is a master violinist and the new love of maximes  maxime is so much in love with camille that he plans to and does leave his wife  like stephane  camille is outwardly very controlled and reserved  sacrificing all thought and emotion to her violin and the music which emerges  when stephane and camille meet  there is a recognition of a bonding by both individuals  however  whereas camille submits to the wild interplay of emotions which she now feels for stephane  stephane only admits that camille is attracted to him  stephane ignores his feelings for camille  which the audience cannot help but to see is present  as the movie progresses  the two characters become more and more polarized in their views and emotions for one another  these two people  with very similar approaches to life initially  react to their new circumstance very differently  stephane becomes even more rational and controlled  while camille becomes more tempestuous  until she almost borders on suffering a nervous breakdown due to the inability to consummate their relationship  however  their approach to each other is perhaps not surprising considering their vocation  the audience is led to believe that stephane may have been a genius as a violinist as well  due to his relationship with a master violin teacher  however  apparently  he could not be a violinist due to his intolerance for flaws in his playing  consequently  stephane becomes a precision craftsmen with the instrument and no longer plays  in contrast  camille had almost given the violin  years earlier  however  with the aid of her manager  she has progressed to being almost one of the worlds finest  successfully submerging herself to her playing  during the course of the movie  we see both characters evolve as they struggle to meet the challenge of their new emotions  stephane attempts to remain unchanged  however  we do see subtle hints of his transformation  one of the most obvious is when he defeats maxime in squash  the development of all of the characters  many of which is not included in this synopsis  is incredible  american movies  with rare exceptions  have not and i would daresay cannot approach foreign films in character development  in its essence  this movie is about the development and growth of the characters  camille and stephane  the portrayal of all the other characters in the movie  including a death  is to further the development of camilles and stepahnes characters  i am not sure why berardinelli says   at times it becomes difficult to determine whether stephane should be pitied or vilified  and it is to auteuils credit that he manages to maintain this uncertainty   this movie is not about judging stephanes actions as being right or wrong  but about viewing their growth and accepting the characters as who they are  i find the ending appropriate  unfortunately  i found the last ten minutes which led up to the final scene to be very unfulfilling  this portion of the film is where the  sense of closure  could have been successfully accomplished  unfortunately  there is a hurried and almost a soap operatype surge of emotions from all of the characters  while ravel may not be quite as accomplished as schubert or mozart  ravel has his day in this film  the synergism of the tension of ravels music and tension on the screen is the best i have ever seen  the directing in this movie is wonderful  the actors and actresses are excellent  each playing their part with great sincerity and warmth  emmanuelle bearts personality is beautiful  and needless to say  i must say that emmanuelle beart  herself  is beautiful  besides the near ending  the only other criticism of the movie which i have is that the movie is almost too cerebral  i almost left with the sense little happened because almost all the changes which occur in the movie happen in deep in their psyches and little in their personalities or the situations which they end as part of  the one question which i am left with is while they have accepted their lot  has their attitude towards love changed  i have several possibilities which i believe the movie hints at  but i am unsure of which the director is espousing  in summary  this movie is solely about the character growth of two characters who almost develop a relationship  in the process  we see their attitude towards life and other people  in itself  i do not believe un coeur is a complicated movie  where it does become complicated is when we juxtapose the scenes of the movie into the greater walk of life where we  as americans  have preconceived american notions of relationship  love  and people  i do wonder how the movie translates when viewed within its native french culture  however  i  bringing my american preconceptions  enjoyed the film  i would welcome any comments about this movie from any who have seen it  
pos	the keen wisdom of an elderly bank robber  the naive ambitions of a sexy hospital nurse  and a partnership that blossoms between the two are the fine components that make up a modest  little caper adventure entitled where the money is   the elderly bank robber is henry  paul newman   a famous criminal that was only recently caught  he has pulled off dozens of successful heists and has probably stashed away a small fortune  always the shrewd thinker  he begins working on a plan to get out of jail  this involves years of studying buddhism and selfhypnosis  when he is prepared to execute his plan  he uses what he has learned to fake a stroke  now a seemingly twitching vegetable  he is temporarily transferred to a staterun home  carol  linda fiorentino  is the nurse that cares for him  shes a very bright person with a good heart  yet  her life is a miserable waste of time  the most exciting thing to do in town is to fix cars  her days at the hospital facility are spent leading wheelchair calisthenics  worse  shes in a deadend relationship with highschool sweetheart wayne  dylan mcdermott   they became a couple because they were king and queen of the prom  to her  this made sense long ago  but now  its a different story  wayne seems equally bored with his life  but is content enough to stay put  waynes greatest ambition is to become a night shift supervising foreman  carol feels as lifeless as many of the other hospital patients  but shes never been anywhere else and doesnt see many other opportunities in life  however  when henry falls under her care  her outlook begins to change  the medical reports may state that he suffered a massive stroke  carol  however  begins to grow suspicious that henry may just be faking it after all  maybe she can get through to him  and maybe she can learn something about the money that he has stashed away  the opening 30 minutes are filled with hilarious attempts of carol trying to bring henry  back to life   and what are some of carols resuscitation techniques  perhaps an erotic lapdance might stir his senses  if that fails  maybe shell try a little shock therapy by pushing him off a 20foot high pier into the cold lake below  when he finally comes out of his state of selftrance  the movies direction changes  though it remains equally if not more entertaining  carol sees that henry is filled with charisma and selfassuredness  she is invigorated by his commanding presence and refreshed by his vibrancy  this  of course  puts wayne in an odd situation  henry and carols bond grows stronger when they enter into an agreement to rob an armored car  henry needs this heist because he is unable to retrieve his original stash  meanwhile  this is carols ticket to a better life  wayne is uncomfortable with the situation  but helps out nonetheless  however  his lack of commitment threatens their success  the heist sequence is suspenseful  well paced  and casts the uneasy feeling that something will horribly go wrong  where the money is does more to spotlight newman and fiorentino than it does to showcase a story about a nifty heist  newman is the real joy of the film  adroitly showing that at age 75  hes still really hot stuff  he possesses a sly smile  displays a dominating attitude  and a projects a demeanor that is undeniably attractive  fiorentino is also a fun presence  you root for her despite her sense of amorality  sure  she wants to commit robbery and has little compunction about pushing a wheelchairstricken man into a lake  but we can see that to escape her deadend world  she needs to do something drastic  with two charismatic characters such as these  its hard to ignore that where the money is is where the fun is  
pos	robert benton has assembled a stellar  mature cast for his latest feature  twilight  a film noir mystery set amid the fading stars of hollywood  paul newman stars as retired detective harry ross  harry has spent the last couple of years doing odd jobs for jack and catherine ames  gene hackman and susan sarandon   a pair of married actors who have fallen from the limelight  when jack sends him on a routine delivery job  however  the old instincts kick in  soon  harry is wading through a mystery where friendships and lives are on the line  and he no longer knows who to trust  there are plenty of familiar faces throughout twilight  in addition to newman  hackman and sarandon  james garner plays raymond hope  a former cop and one of harrys best friends  stockard channing plays verna  harrys former partner  and possibly a former love interest  reese witherspoon is mel  the distrustful daughter of the ames  and liev schrieber is her scuzzy boyfriend  giancarlo esposito appears as harrys bumbling detective protigi  and john spencer is a suspicious police captain  with a cast like that  its almost worth watching twilight just to stargaze  luckily  theres more to the film than some sort of actors recognition ceremony  twilight has a solid film noirish plot  it may not have as many twists and turns as some of the classics  but it has much more than a lot of what passes for film these days  the major cast members all deliver strong performances  as can be expected of their caliber  however  none of them have that little extra oomph which would make them memorable  the supporting cast is enjoyable  if a little underdrawn  stockard channings character  in particular  is a cipher  theres more to her character than the film takes the time to describe  its a minor  but irritating  flaw  with a solid cast  and a good plot  theres a lot to recommend about twilight  its biggest flaw is actually its short running time  at a slim 94 minutes  theres a lot of stuff thats packed into an awfully small package  still  the chance to see newman  sarandon and hackman working together is worth a cramp or two  
pos	warning  anyone offended by blatant  leering machismo had better avoid this film  or lots of blood  guts  men against men and manoetmano stuff  in other words  its a walter hill film  with a john milius script  i always picture these guys getting together and producing a movie between armwrestling matches  these films always contain male characters i have a very hard time identifying with  probably due to the likelihood that any meeting between them and me would result in my arm being ripped off and then my subsequent death by beating with said limb  and we got tough guys galore  here  drugrunning banditos by the dozens  all dirty and sweaty and pretty illtempered  overall  a secret task force of army commandos who are in the area to coverup  supposedly  any connection between the government and the drug runners  and lots of shitkicking texas dirt farmers whod as soon shoot you between the eyes as look at you  in particular  we got nick nolte as one hardass texas ranger  powers boothe as the drug kingpin  michael ironsides as the leader of the secret army  and rip torn as the local sheriff  torn is the sympathetic figure of the group  he smiles before shooting anyone  as to women    well  ive never seen jane fonda or meryl streep in a walter hill film  and at this rate  i doubt i ever will  women exist here to look good  comfort the man  and get argued over  gosh  just like the old days    frankly  this is a pretty good movie  if you can accept the premise and can take the macho stuff  the cinematography is excellent  the cast of characters is broad and has texture  the script is quite good  and the film lets you keep up with whats happening yourself  without spelling it out to you  i appreciate a film that makes me have to think to keep up  finally  theres lots of sam peckinpah slowmotion shootups  
pos	accepting his oscar as producer of this years best picture winner  saul zaentz remarked that his cup runneth over  one could almost say the same about his muchprized film  rarely is the screen so overflowing with potent imagery  symbolism  ideas and metaphors  complex and literate storytelling  all possessed of an intelligence that invites  even demands  constant scrutiny  an acuity of perception and observation that must somehow yield the truth  in short  the antithesis of all things hollywood  yet this surfeit of signals is made to serve a rather pale and thinly realized love story whose emotional impact is as dry as a desert wind  ralph fiennes is the title character  an amnesiac burn victim whose gradual return to memory  and particularly the memory of love  is the ostensible focus of the film  but despite the use of numerous flashbacks to help put the pieces of this personal puzzle together  we never learn enough about the man to feel much empathy for him  his emotional life before the story begins is an essential clue that remains withheld  the same can easily be said for every other character in the film  of which there are too many  juliette binoches nurse comes as close as this film gets to an emotional heart  at least we learn early on that she is scarred by the deaths of those close to her  and so we understand why she is eager to escape the company of her comrades in order to seek refuge in the convalescence of a mysterious  disfigured  dying stranger  even this information is imparted so quickly and in such cursory fashion  however  that it verges on the comical  with so many characters enjoying so little screen time  the films 160 minutes can be taxing  yet there is something so captivating about the sensibility behind the camera that i couldnt help but feel that greatness was in the air  hints of it were everywhere  in a man who hates ownership but wants desperately to possess his lover  in ancient cave paintings of swimmers copied casually by a modernday swimmer in the sahara  in the way the shifting sands of time obliterate everything more completely than a world war  there is enough latent meaning to supply college film students with paper topics for years  but ultimately the emotional truths writerdirector anthony minghella was grasping for were never revealed  in the end  i was left with the impression that i had witnessed quite an oxymoron  a haunting bore  bore is perhaps too strong a word  but after drinking in the rich production values  the cup remains only slightly over halffull  
pos	a bleak look at how the boston underworld operates  a film which was based on the bestseller by george v   higgins  it is seen through the weary eyes of a 51yearold  smalltime hood  eddie  fingers  coyle  mitchum   he got the nickname when a mob boss in his underworld element shut the draw on his hand as a punishment  his current dilemma is that he got caught running illegal booze by truck and faces a 35 year stretch in new hampshire  something he feels will be a life sentence for him since he doesnt think he could survive prison at his age  he is also concerned that his wife and three kids will have to go on welfare  he could have cut a deal and gotten off  if he turned his boss over to the d  a   but he figured he would never live if he did that  he is currently gunrunning for a gang of very successful bank robbers led by scalise  rocco   the masked bank robbers operate by always first going to the bank managers house and holding his family hostage and then they go to the bank and force the manager to open the vault for them or else his family gets it  on one of the heists  they kill a bank officer who pushes the alarm  coyles best friend is dillon  boyle   a hit man for the mob  working as a bartender  he is a permanent stoolie for the treasury agents  as an aggressive young agent named foley  jordan   who likes to be called uncle  gives dillon breathing room to operate some of his lowlevel crime activities and to work the bar even though he has a prison record  as long as he keeps getting valuable info from him on things happening with the gangs  with the sentencing date closing in on him  the already convicted coyle is out on bail and looking for an angle to cut his jail time  he contacts agent foley and gives him a few inconsequential tips and then decides to do something that goes against his grain  thinking he made an ironclad deal with foley to get his sentenced squashed in new hampshire  he gives him the place where a sale of machine guns is going down  knowing fullwell the young hustler  keats  selling the guns is a lot like he was as a youth and when arrested will be facing a life sentence  but foley tells him after he arrests the gundealer  that new hampshire wants more before they take away his jail sentence  they want him to be a fulltime informer  warning  spoiler follows in next paragraph  the bank robbers are setup and caught in the act and the mob boss is convinced coyle did it and gives dillon the contract to take care of his friend  the contemptuous dillon befriends coyle and treats him to a steak dinner and takes him to a bruin hockey game while getting him boozed up  coyle takes a look at the young bruin star bobby orr from his upper deck seat and says   to be young like that and have his future  hes the greatest hockey player in the world   dillon then takes the drunken coyle for a long drive and executes him mobstyle  having a kid who works for him dump the body in some bad section of boston  this is a great atmospheric film due to the realistic noir mood it sets  of the hopeless situation the lowlevel criminals are in  and how they are forced to live with fear and the uncertainty of what horrible thing will happen next  the city streets are ugly  the gangsters are shown to be capable of any action to defend their own interests  whether it is betrayal or murder  there is a fatalistic feel about their lives  something robert mitchum wears as easily as others put on a hat  mitchum gives this film all the intensity and purpose it needs  as it overcomes a thin plot  it makes you see the characters for what they are without any false sympathy for them  mitchum is a loser  and  that he lived so long  is a tribute to his skills as a survivor  but in the end  he even loses the respect he had among his underworld friends as a standup guy  as he wrestled with his code of honor and lost even that battle  
pos	 footloose  has only one goal in mind  to reel in an audience with cheesy sentiment and feelgood antics  and i hate to admit it  i fell for it  the movie is about a teenager  bacon  who moves to a small town from the big city  and discovers that dancing has been banned by the local reverend  lithgow   he ends up falling for the preachers daughter  singer  and showing the whole town what the magic of dance can do  as mentioned at the beginning of this review   footloose  is an extremely hokey and predictable teen drama  there are virtually no surprises  and the writing is secondrate  so why did i enjoy it so much  for one thing  the cast is great  kevin bacon oozes charisma in an early role  were rooting for him right from the start  and  unlike most films of this genre  bacon doesnt play him as the  rebel without a clue  sort  yes  he does rebel  but hes also polite when he needs to be  and he never broods  the rest of the cast is equally impressive  john lithgow  seen here playing a normal guy for a change  is playing a man who would normally be a flat out villian  but lithgow plays him as a concerned father who is trying to do what he feels is best for his daughter  by the end of the film  we feel a genuine sense of love and understanding between him and the lori singer character  another nice touch is the music  we see the parents of the kids complaining that the music they listen to is filled with  sexual innuendos   but thats not true at all  the title track  performed by kenny loggins  is upbeat and fun  during the final sequence  i was overcome with the urge to get off the couch and start dancing  of course  i soon realized that would be a little pathetic  anyway   footloose  is a charming little surprise  dont let the premise prevent you from watching it  it sucked me in  and itll do the same to you  
pos	as i walked out of crouching tiger  hidden dragon i thought to myself that i had had just seen a great film  with the passage of a few hours i tempered my enthusiasm and started pondering the question of whether a masterpiece must implicitly be a  great  piece of work and viceversa  attempting to make a distinction may be a matter of splitting hairs  i avoided a commitment by appealing to etymology  as the word implies  a masterpiece is any work which embodies the skills of a master  as such it should suffice to say that it is a product of exceptional quality  crouching tiger  hidden dragon fits comfortably in that category  crouching tiger  hidden dragon immerses the viewer in an idealized world of oriental folklore  with the requisite blend of legend  fantasy  magic and mythology  it is reminiscent of a wagnerian epic with characters which might as well be halfgods  greater than life  purer than life  stronger than life  physically invincible and able to accomplish superhuman feats  but with a human soul that makes them ultimately vulnerable  all the classic elements of the oriental mystique are thrown into the mix  including the art of contemplation and the concept of martial dexterity as the physical equivalent of spiritual advancement  the classic struggle between good and evil is the inevitable backdrop  with advanced masters of each and a golden pupil  which must choose between the two  it is the gifted pupil who  under the influence of the evil master steals the holy grail in the form of a magic sword which is the focus of the conflict at the heart of the legend  the elements of romance at two different levels of enlightenment  a pair of masters and a pair of youngsters  are poignantly represented  the paradox of oriental restraint existing side by side with all consuming passion in the same breast is projected effectively  the fight scenes are stunning balletic toursdeforce  not to be taken literally but clearly to be enjoyed as superb cinematic art  as are the prodigious leaps and flights to  from and between rooftops  the martial combat at the top of swaying bamboo branches and the combatants skipping like pebbles along the surface of a lake  there need be no question of suspended disbelief when one is in the presence of poetry  as in a wagnerian opera there is a substantial story line  which takes place at an ordinary human level  yet the entire project is to be accepted as a work of art rooted in fantasy  do not assume  however  that the art is limpwristed  for those who are put off by the  art  label this film can be confidently recommended as engrossing entertainment at the levels of adventure  action and romance  there are no weak performances in this movie  michelle yeoh imbues her character with depth  humanity and wisdom  chow yon fat projects dignity and purity of heart  zhang ziyi is a budding superstar  she is radiantly beautiful and totally persuasive in a multifaceted role  cheng pei pei as the evil master and chang cheng as the bandit prince acquit themselves admirably  kudos to screenwriters james schamus  wang hui ling and tsai kuo jing  choreographer yuen woping  photography director peter pau and music director tan dun  each of which contribute quality components to this extraordinary film  ang lee as the director  coproducer and mastermind of the project gets the lion share of the credit  this is destined to be one of those films that everybody likes  including those who hate martial arts movies  dont miss it  
pos	 crazybeautiful  suffers from the damnedifyoudo  damnedifyoudont syndrome  after a spate of flighty  cookiecutter teen films  the romantic drama addresses alcoholism and parental loss along with its love story  but rather than applaud the production  early reviews have dismissed it as an overblown  afterschool special   even worse  in the wake of federal trade commission hearings that blasted the industry for marketing violent and sexual movies to young people  the studio got a case of the heebiejeebies and forced director john stockwell to reshoot scenes and cut footage to  tone things down   needless to say  the filmmaker was frustrated   we were trying to make a cautionary tale   he told newsweek   and we couldnt show the behavior we were trying to caution people away from   regardless  the film works  thanks to exceptional performances from its lead players and a script determined to transcend stereotypes   crazybeautiful  is quality fare  good enough that i halfexpected the summer movie crap police to walk into the press screening and confiscate the print for  failure to incorporate explosions and poop jokes   set in pacific palisades  calif   the story follows the burgeoning relationship between two teens  every morning and evening  carlos nunez  jay hernandez  takes a twohour bus ride in order to attend pacific high school  an honor student and star athlete  carlos is responsible  modest and focused as he works on securing a place in the naval academy  all is well until he meets nicole oakley  kirsten dunst   the daughter of a rich congressman  bruce davison   nicole is a drunk apparently hellbent on selfdestruction  carlos is smart enough to recognize the danger in getting involved with her  but he is only human and she has the greatest smile  plus  as her father notes  she has a real knack for drawing others into her downward spiral  as with  save the last dance    crazybeautiful   god  how i hate lowercase titles  takes situations that look stale on paper and makes them seem fresh  while noting the racial and social differences between the kids  the screenplay dances around most of the clich  s  there are still several mtv moments  though   the filmmakers make a point to give characters that crucial extra bit of shading that turns them into individuals instead of stereotypes and the actors take it from there  cuteasabutton dunst forces the viewer to share the pain beneath nicoles behavior  she is credible enough that when dad urges carlos to get away from her before she drags him down  i hoped the boy would listen  as carlos  hernandez is a revelation  hunky without looking like the product of a hollywood design team  the young man can really act  we will see a lot of this guy in the future  aside from its title  the biggest problem with  crazybeautiful  is its ending  which wraps everything up too fast and too tidy  after carefully presenting credible characters and situations  the conclusion feels rushed and lazy  still  this is the kind of film that deserves accolades from critics instead of cheap shots   afterschool special  my ass   crazybeautiful  is the real deal  
pos	everyone knows someone like giles death  stuffy  arrogant  set in his ways  and at war with anything that could in any way be associated with  progress   giles is a writer  but the product of his typewriter is the kind of scholarly stuff that is immediately put onto library stacks where it can gather dust until some graduate student needs another reference for his or her thesis  his house looks like an immaculate museum  with no television  microwave  word processor  or other technological gadgets  only the electric lights betray that hes living in the twentieth century  not the nineteenth  this is the kind of role that could easily be turned into a flat stereotype  but john hurt  in what is certainly his best performance in a decade and possibly the most impressive of his long and distinguished career  turns  erstwhile fogy  giles into a threedimensional human being  despite his tunnel vision  its impossible not to like the man  especially after his entire being is transformed by that singular affliction to which no one is immune  love  and  as giles discovers during the course of this amusing  warmhearted motion picture  its possible to find the object of ones affection in the most unusual places  giles  who is a widower and a recluse  does not frequent the cinema  but when he learns that an e  m  forster film is playing at the local theater  he screws up his courage and decides to go  what he doesnt realize is that the movie house is showing two films  the forster adaptation and a teen exploitation flick called hotpants college ii  a nonplused giles ends up sitting in a darkened room watching buff male and female bodies in various states of undress  just as giles is about to leave  however  he notices ronnie bostock  jason priestley   and  suddenly  its love at first sight  giles is enraptured  and the moment hotpants college ii is over  he beings to scour stores for bostock memorabilia  including teen magazines and video tapes   in order to watch those tapes  giles must buy a vcr  but he initially doesnt realize that he needs a tv to use the vcr   eventually  not satisfied with being the worlds foremost authority on bostock  giles boards a plane and travels to long island  where his idols home is located  bostock is away when giles arrives  but the wily englishman manages to befriend ronnies supermodel girlfriend  audrey  fiona loewi   eventually  the actor arrives home and  impressed with giles demeanor and intelligence  he begins to rely on the older mans advice  but  while giles affection runs deep  ronnies feelings are less constant  love and death on long island is a comedy  and a very funny one at that  in fact  for its first half  the film is nearlyperfect  it suffers a falloff once giles reaches new york  and the ending  with its nonetoosubtle homosexual overtones  is a little too overbearing for the lighthearted material that precedes it  in his gently satirical approach to popular culture and movie stardom  writerdirector richard kwietniowski  adapting from the novel by gilbert adair  is 100 on target  in the process  he not only creates a truly likable and memorable character in giles  but says a few things about the transforming power of love  even if it is unrequited  from start to finish  this is clearly hurts movie  hes in almost every frame  its a role that the veteran actor must have relished  because he makes giles an unforgettable motion picture figure  and does so by means of dialogue delivery  body language  and everchanging facial expressions  jason priestley  cashing in on his beverly hills 90210 image  is surprisingly effective as the shallow ronnie  he is charismatic  and its not hard to understand why giles is attracted to ronnie  meanwhile  solid support is provided by the appealing fiona loewi and the alwaysreliable maury chaykin  love and death on long island is many things wrapped into one  a social commentary  it tackles the thorny issue of film as pure art versus film as mindless entertainment   a buddy picturelove story  ronnie and giles have one of the most interesting relationships found anywhere on a movie screen these days   and a  fish out of water  tale  victorian relic giles forced into the modern world   yet  despite the many laughs love and death offers  it never takes cheap shots  it has a vibrant  beating heart  and that makes the comedy all the more worthwhile  
pos	for many people  procrastination isnt a problem to overcome  its a high art  well do just about anything to put off a task  when the deadline for this column nears  its the only time during the week dishes get washed and the bed made and laundry done and plants watered and    eventually  hopefully  sometimes  theres a breakthrough and we actually get down to work  amazingly its almost always easier than we dreaded and after finishing  that sense of oppressive apprehension melts away  and then  the next time  we do it all again  english professor grady tripp  michael douglas  is a master  seven years ago  his first book was a hit  hes been working on his second  a short 200page piece  since then  fearful that he cant live up to the first  he cant bring himself to finish it  no writers block  hes nearing 3  000 pages with no end in sight  now hes having a particularly difficult day  the colleges annual writers conference is bringing in accomplished novelists reminding tripp that other people are finishing their books  during the first day  his wife has left him  his married girlfriend informs him shes pregnant and his agent is in town with a sixfoot transvestite in tow  by the evening  our besieged writer is driving though the snowcovered streets of pittsburgh with a suicidal student beside him  a stolen jacket that marilyn monroe wore on her wedding day in the back seat and a murdered blind dog stuffed in the trunk  this could be a pivotal point in his midlife crisis  and then theres the next morning  theres a lot to like about this movie  there are no huge explosions  shattering glass or computergenerated dinosaurs to distract from the very real human issues  grady is caught up in the curse of people who accomplish great things early in their career  in the world of  what have you done for me lately    he knows his second book has to be better than his first  instead of finding out  he drifts  comfortable in the insular cocoon of academic peter panhood  he doesnt have much of a life and neither does his star pupil james leer  tobey maguire   james may be suicidal and psychotic  certainly everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie  he makes up a past of working clash anguish because the truth of wealth and comfort just isnt interesting enough  as the weekend progresses  they are both forced to fully engage life  thats the question they must face  comfort or real experiences  the film takes some interesting chances  nontraditional relationships are presented as matteroffact  extramarital  gay  interracial  professorstudent  here they arent judged  merely choices  the actors are all firstrate  douglas triumphs  playing against type as he spends most of his time disheveled  unshaven and clad in a pink womens house robe  maguires disengaged alienation works perfectly here  robert downey jr  as gradys agent livens up his scenes  director curtis hanson   l  a  confidential   makes a few missteps  the women are underused  frances mcdormand does a good job of her limited role of sara  gradys married lover but we never understand much of who she is  the chemistry between the two of them is nonexistent which makes some of the ending unconvincing  katie holmes is a student with a major crush on the professor  but her character goes nowhere  we never even see gradys exiting wife  this is very much a guys film  the varied relationships between the men are much more convincing than any of the others  gradys alternating mentoring and rejection of james is the centerpoint of the film  not him and sara  as the boomers age  expect to see more midlife crisis films to catch the attention of that demographic  eventually itll probably become cliche  but right now weve got a winner  ill finish this in a second  right now i have to grab some paint  i noticed some trim in the other room that needs a little touchup   michael redman has written this column for so long that hes made midlife crisis a career choice   
pos	meet joe black  reviewed on nov  2798  starring brad pitt  anthony hopkins  claire forlani in  meet joe black   brad pitt plays death  thats all that really needs to be said  but nevertheless  i will provide the three of you that have seemingly been living in a cave with a plot description  death decides to take a holiday  what with all the rigors of soulcollecting and all  and forces anthony hopkins into showing him what its like to be human  death assumes the body of brad pitt  and from there  much trouble ensues  for one thing  deathaspitt falls in love with hopkins daughter  played by claire forlani  obviously this enrages hopkins  because really  what can death offer  besides eternal damnation  of course  there is also a subplot about forlanis exboyfriend  she dumps him for pitt  trying to take over hopkins company   meet joe black  runs just under three hours  ive always thought that such obscene running times should be limited to historical epics   meet joe black  is neither historical nor is it an epic  though i get the feeling martin brest  the director  desperately wants it to be  every single scene in the movie goes on about 34 minutes too long  and the ending takes about 20 minutes longer than it really should  a severe editing job could have made this movie excellent  instead of just good  which is what it is  pitt  an actor i normally loathe  is actually quite engaging as death  i believed his performance  and i could see why forlanis character would fall in love with him  i have to agree with roger ebert  though  who found it hard to believe that an entity thats been around for all time wouldnt know what peanut butter was  that has nothing to do with pitts performance  of course  but it is a little distracting  hopkins gives his usual excellent performance  hes able to portray the angst of a man who knows he has very little time left  without making him an obnoxious whiner  and in her first major studio role  claire forlani is surprisingly good  she has a sweet tenderness that allows the audience to instantly root for her  so   meet joe black  is a good movie hampered by its ridiculous running time  had the film been cut by an hour or so  i have no doubt that i would be calling it one of the best movies of the year in this review  
pos	call it touched by a demon  gregory hoblits fallen is a serial killer movie with an unusual  horrific twist  if marketed properly  this film could have crossover appeal for both those who appreciate supernatural tales like the prophesy and those who crave grim  dark thrillers like silence of the lambs and seven  in fact  theres even a little twin peaks to be found here  albeit with the lions share of the weirdness distilled out   remember bob   the biggest failing of fallen is that  although its consistently interesting  its not always as edgy and suspenseful as one might hope  a serial killer  elias koteas  has been on the loose in philadephia  but detective john hobbes  denzel washington   the noblest man on the police force  has brought him to justice  now  during his last hours on death row awaiting his inevitable date with the gas chamber  the mass murderer cryptically tells hobbes   what goes around really goes around   shortly thereafter  he begins to sing  time is on my side  as hes taken on his last walk  minutes later  the state of pennsylvania has carried out the execution and edgar reese is dead  but for hobbes  the nightmare is just beginning  because reese wasnt a normal psychopath  he was the host body for a mythical dark angel named azazel  and  with reeses death  azazel is free to hop from body to body  murdering and wreaking havoc at will  only hobbes and a pretty  female theology teacher  embeth davidtz  have an inkling of what theyre up against  the rest of the cops  including hobbes partner  jonesy  john goodman   lou  james gandolfini   a newcomer to the department  and lieutenant stanton  donald sutherland   dont have a clue  and  as a result  they are in mortal danger  as depicted by hoblit  primal fear  and cinematographer newton thomas sigel  philadelphia is a dark  dreary place  a gothic city rather than a modern one  no skyscrapers or other monoliths of current architecture or technology are shown  the most famous landmark to appear isnt the liberty bell or independence hall  its genos steaks  shadows and night scenes abound  the days are cloudy and unpromising  this is the kind of setting where its easy to believe that fallen angels walk among men  fallens plot is brimming with potential  not all of which is realized  somehow  i would have expected a more frightening tale to emerge from something with this kind of premise  but the level of terror  like that of gore  is kept in check  nevertheless  there are several creepily effective scenes as the spirit of azazel moves from body to body when people bump against each other on crowded city sidewalks  the film also boasts a chase sequence of a kind that can best be described as unusual  of the several dozen actors to play azazel  the best is by far elias koteas  exotica  crash   who  despite only being on screen for about ten minutes  gives a fantastically charged performance  john goodman also seems to be enjoying himself  although his role for most of the film is relegated to that of a burly sidekick  sadly  however  these two are the only ones who excel  everyone else  including denzel washington  is boring  washingtons flat performance is the most disappointing surprise of the film  its not that hes bad per se  but hes not very interesting  theres no real sense of vulnerability or desperation in the way he portrays his character  and that keeps us distanced  however slightly  from hobbes  as circumstances become progressively more dire for the cop  and as his lifeordeath chess game with azazel approaches the point of checkmate  i expected to be more on the edge of my seat than i was  washingtons subdued approach is part of the reason for this  i never felt a sense of urgency  however  at least washington was believable  which is more than can be said for embeth davidtz  schindlers list  and donald sutherland  to be fair  the flaws in their characters arent all actingrelated  neither stanton nor gretta milano are wellwritten  that said  however  theres nothing inspired about either davidtzs or sutherlands work  both appear to be sleepwalking their way through the parts  as if they know that their contribution to the film is one of advancing the plot rather than developing a multidimensional individual  narratively  fallen has a few glaring weaknesses  although the plot proceeds with a convoluted  gamelike structure  it uses a denzel washingtonsupplied voiceover to overexplain matters  at times  this is actually helpful  and it has a use beyond the obvious  but there are occasions when ponderous lines like  i like the night  sometimes you come face to face with yourself  become a little hard to swallow  in addition  fallen is saddled with the same kind of disgustingly bland  generic theology embraced by numerous movies and tv shows like touched by an angel  however  despite the negatives  im still recommending fallen on the strength of its complex plot and especially its ending  which i loved  the final scenes are startling  audacious  and unexpected  its not often that a plot development takes me by surprise the way this one did  at a time when most movies fall apart in the last ten minutes  fallen manages to buck the trend and redeem itself  this is not a great motion picture  but  considering how bad most january releases are  its a reasonably entertaining way to spend two hours  and  whatever you do  dont walk out on the film before the end credits have begun to roll  
pos	james l  brooks  one of the developers of the simpsons and director of broadcast news  returns to the big screen with this entertaining  if slightly flawed comedy  nicholson plays melvin udall  probably the most horrible person ever on the screen  hes racist  homophobic  and never has a good word to say to anyone  so  nobody talks to him  except waitress carol conelly  t  v sitcom star hunt  who was last seen in twister  1996   naturally  udall  conelly and gay neighbor simon bishop  kinnear  who nicholson hates  all hit it off in the end  like good will hunting  1997  and titanic  1997   even though the outcome is completely obvious  as good as it gets is an enjoyable  funny and warm comedy  nicholson is hilarious as melvin  churning out insults with superb relish  only nicholson could get away with the lines that melvin delivers  hunt is also good as waitress carol  and easily rises to the challenge of nicholson  theres also  thankfully  a bit of chemistry between them  kinnear  as the gay neighbor  seems to have a slightly underwritten role  hes more of a plot convience than a character  although his performance is good  his character just seems to exist to help melvin and carol come together  in fact  the scene stealer is simons dog  who is funnier than nicholson  but then again  pets are always cute on screen  providing solid support is cuba gooding  jnr  jerry maguire  1996  and yeardly smith  who is the voice of lisa simpsons in the simpsons  although gooding isnt as good as is character in maguire  he is still fun  he overacts a little  but not so much as to be annoying  smith is also good  although she has a fairly small role  even director lawrence kasdan  body heat  1981  makes an appearance as a doctor  but this is primarily nicholsons film  and every scene hes in  hes steals it  hes character is so hateful  though  its amazing that anyone talks to him at all  especially carol  and this is the films main problem  its totally unbelievable that carol would ever consider liking melvin  she doesnt fall in love with him naturally  the film forces her to fall in love with him  also  melvins character seems to go too nice  too quickly  i would doubt anyone with a character like melvins would be able to turn back to a nice  loving person  it would take a helluva long time  much longer than this film would like to make out  brooks direction is good  though  if a bit average  but he usually manages to get an emotion out of the audience  he handles the comedy scenes better than the sentimental ones  he tends to pile on to much schmaltz  but generally hes good  theres also a nice soundtrack by veteran composer hans zimmer  but  generally  as good as it gets achieves what it sets out to do  which is to make the audience feel good by the end of the movie  the movie is a bit overlong  but nicholson is such good fun that the running time passes by pretty quickly  overall  as good as it gets is a fun movie  even though it may be unbelivable  and certainly worth seeing  if just for jack nicholsons performance   not quite as good as it gets  pardon the bad joke   but still good fun  
pos	after a stylistic detour with mrs  parker and the vicious circle  which  despite its uncomfortable tone  was close to being a conventional movie   director alan rudolph has returned to his unique brand of film making with afterglow  a romantic black comedy about love  betrayal  and selfabsorption  while these may not be the most unusual themes to fashion into a motion picture  rudolphs atypical approach to the characters and their situations makes for an intriguing  if not always pleasant  movie  it is said that rudolph is a polarizing director  meaning that most viewers either love his work or hate it  until mrs  parker  i had not been overly impressed by his movies  i found equinox  his last pre mrs  parker effort  to be irritating and frustrating  i was somewhat surprised  therefore  to discover that i liked afterglow  there are several reasons for this  but the paramount one is that rudolph seems to have muted some of the most strident  mannered aspects of his approach  the characters here are more like real people with genuine problems  the story is absorbing  and the acting is topnotch  in short  rudolph has created a world that its worth spending two hours in  afterglow introduces us to two unhappily married couples  jeffrey byron  jonny lee miller  is a cold  seeminglyheartless businessman who is sexually indifferent to his young wife  marianne  lara flynn boyle   for her part  marianne is so obsessed with having a baby that she never attempts to interact with her husband on a human level  all shes interested in is seducing him during those few days when shes ovulating  after he refuses to make love  she decides to find someone else to play the role of sperm donor  the other couple  lucky  nick nolte  and phyllis mann  julie christie   are an older pair  but theyre no more content than jeffrey and marianne  a mysterious fracture in their past relationship has driven them apart  they remain married as a matter of convenience  but  since phyllis wont allow lucky to touch her  they have an unspoken agreement whereby he can fool around as much as he wants provided that no lasting bond is established as a result of these affairs  the landscape of emotional pain between them is palpable  the four characters begin interacting when marianne hires lucky as a handyman to fix up the inside of the apartment she shares with jeffrey  the two of them are immediately attracted to one another  and it doesnt take long before theyre lounging together  naked  in her pool  meanwhile  jeffrey  who is captivated by older women  runs into phyllis in a hotel bar  is smitten  and invites her to accompany him on a weekend retreat to the mountains  the romantic couplings of the characters are interesting in that they illustrate the multiple faces of love  sex means something different to everyone  to jeffrey  its an unpleasant chore  a loss of control  to marianne  its a means to a maternal end  to lucky  its an enjoyable distraction that blocks out his marital troubles  and to phyllis  its a method of establishing or denying emotional closeness  ultimately  none of these characters appears to love anyone else as much as they love themselves  the greatest strength of the film lies not in the script  but in the performances  jonny lee miller is perfect as the selfish  callous  suitandtie businessman  those who recall him as sickboy in trainspotting will find that he is almost unrecognizable here as the image of conformity  lara flynn boyle  who wasnt impressive in rudolphs equinox  is greatly improved  making marianne a jumble of sexiness and vulnerability  nick nolte is delightful as the uninhibited lucky  and he manages to deliver some of rudolphs most pregnant lines with practiced ease  the clear standout  however  is julie christie  who is nothing short of delicious as the worldweary phyllis  her often wry  occasionally cutting asides are the source of much of the films humor  and theres hardly ever a moment when she doesnt steal the spotlight from her costars  i dont know if afterglow is the film to convert rudolph detractors  but it seems that this movie is a little more accessible than some of the directors earlier productions  enough of his trademark style remains  however  to reassure his supporters  afterglow is basically a fourpronged character study  the plot is not especially compelling  but the character interaction is  and thats the real reason to see this motion picture  rudolph has painted an able picture of the nonromantic side of love  the one that has more to do with tolerance and familiarity than with affection and attraction  
pos	 the fugitive  is probably one of the greatest thrillers ever made  it takes realistic  believable characters and tells an exciting story thats totally believable throughout  this isnt an overthetop action flick for the sake of action  this is an intelligent adventure story with a real sense of mystery to it and it works perfectly  harrison ford stars as dr  richard kimble  a man who is wrongly accused and convicted of murdering his wife  the entire premise of the story revolves around this murder  but is not told in a straightforward manner  we constantly see flashbacks to the murder from kimbles perspective  hints are dropped from various times of the night kimbles wife  helen  sela ward  was murdered  we dont get to see who the killer is until much further into the story  in fact  we might even have a little doubt about kimbles innocence ourselves  the film doesnt spend much time on the details of kimbles trial and conviction as it is not the point of the story  one of the greatest action scenes ensues as we get a botched escape attempt by his fellow inmates which leads to a fantastic train wreck  but it does not at all seem gratuitous or formulated  it is actually suspenseful to watch  this movie is so incredible because its able to take elements like these and make them wholly original and believable  tommy lee jones almost steals the show as deputy sam gerard  a u  s  marshall who is an expert in hunting fugitives  from the moment he appears we know a huge game of cat and mouse is about to occur  kimble and gerard are equally matched as there is no way to tell how one is going to outsmart the other  most of the film deals with richards complex investigation as he tries to find the onearmed man who killed his wife  ford does not have a lot of lines here  so it is stuart and twohys script and daviss outstanding direction that make the film as great as it is  just watching richard use his keen intelligence and wits  disguising himself  and doing his own detective work is very interesting  we know just as little as he does as to why his wife was killed  so as he learns more so do we  meanwhile gerard and his staff are using all their skills to hunt him down  at one point they run into each other and a great chase ensues  but richard is just too smart for them  he leaves clues for gerard to show his innocence and to help him solve the mystery  one of the greatest charms to the film is its sense of humor  there is a great sense of comradeship between gerard and his two closest deputies cosmo renfo  pantoliano  and biggs  roebuck   they are trying to catch what they believe to be a dangerous murderer  yet they constantly start up small talk with each other  making funny wisecracks and oneliners  but not in any kind of distracting manner  the final act concludes with another terrific chase  richard figures out who the killer is and confronts him  and although we get a typical fight scene  the case is far from solved  the man who ordered the murder has been under our nose all along  and we dont realize this until the end when both richard and gerard put the pieces together  maybe the finally scene is a bit much  but it still has a believable atmosphere to it  were so relieved when justice is served  its not the plot is that makes  the fugitive  great  its all the motions the characters go through to make for an intriguing story  watching a seemingly average man go through as much as this is what makes the movie so adventurous  if only hollywood could produce more movies like this   103196   12997   61397  see also   nick of time   
pos	i think that any competent member of the human race whos ever seen a movieany moviecould probably predict just about every turn in the wedding singer  even though i try very hard to not predict films as im watching them  especially not romantic comedies   the plot of this particular film just advanced before me seconds  and sometimes minutes  before i actually saw it happen on screen  but i dont care  not even a little  my reasons for this are simple  1  adam sandler is great  2  drew barrymore is great  3  the movie is so funny  there are parts that left me gasping for air because i was laughing so hard  i havent laughed this hard in a movie since austin powers  sandler plays robby hart  a wedding singer who once had dreams of being in a rock band and writing his own music  in the opening scenes  he seems like a happygolucky wedding singer  at least partially enjoying his profession and doing a rather good job of talking down a really drunk individual  steve buscemi  who decides that his brothers wedding is a good place to tell the whole world that his life  up to that point  was utter pointlessness  a week later  at his own wedding  he is left standing at the altar by his exfianc  e  linda  angela featherstone   with his life in complete disarray  he meets julia  barrymore   a waitress  she is engaged to glenn  matthew glave   and is to marry him in about three months  julia and robby become good friends when she enlists him to help with the wedding plans  soon  and predictably  it becomes pretty clear that glenn is a jerk  and that robby and julia really love each other  oh sure  its trite  and if anyone making this film expected us to  like  feel suspense or something while watching the wedding singer  then they truly underestimated their audience  what makes the story bearable  aside from the terrific costumes and 80s music  are the performances  barrymore is simply adorable here  ive never seen her look so close to the way she did in et   not only is she pleasant to look at  but her acting job here really is a good oneand it doesnt hurt that the character is likable and adequately wellwritten  and the jerk  played in fullforce by graves  is just as despicable as any villain in any romantic comedy ive ever seen  naturally  the true star here is sandler  i think the guy is flatout hilarious  he can say something that just isnt funny  and his delivery makes me laugh  his comedic performance here equals that of happy gilmore  but in this film he goes much further and proves to me that he can  indeed  hold his own as a leading man in a romantic comedy  whereas his roles in his previous films kind of had sandler playing sandler  the wedding singer gives him a character that  for the first time  he actually has to fit into  as far as im concerned he succeeded  and this film is testimony that he does  in fact  have some range in his talents  and the movie is just so funny  perhaps the best moment is when he sings a song for julia that he claims is a little uneven because he began writing it while in a good mood and finished it after his fianc  e abandoned him  this is the part that literally had me groping for a breath of air  and while the film  like all romantic comedies  takes a hiatus from laughs towards the end because the plot has to finish up  there are more than enough truly hilarious moments in the first hour that make up for any slumps in progress during the second half  my formal complaints for the wedding singer arent very important  the film is predicable  but who cares  the characters are extremely likable  the movie is ridiculously funny  and the experience is simply enjoyable  in addition to this  i cant imagine anyone seeing the preview and not wanting to see the film  in that order  i conclude that it is pointless for me to even have written this review  i just want everyone to know that i laughed  a lot  
pos	based on the boris karloffs classic by the same name  the mummy starts off with the highpriest of osiris  imhotep  who murders the pharoah for his mistress and is punished by being mummified in the most horrifying way possible  bandaged up  having his tongue removed  and being covered in flesheating scarab beetles  then entombed    all while still alive  recap a few thousand years later  where a soldier named rick  played by brandan fraser  aids a young historian named evelyn  played by rachel wiesz  and her brother  jonathan  played by john hannah  in finding the book of amon ra  in the process inadvertently freeing the mummy  problem is that the mummy wants to revive his mistress  using evelyn as a sacrifice    walking in with relatively low expectations  i thought this movie was actually pretty good  the visuals and cgi are astounding  and obviously not cheaply done at all  they pack a ton of detail into the images  especially during scenes involving mummies rendered completely by cgi  the computer special effects makes for some brilliant scenes  such as unnerving moments involving flesheating scarab beetles and moments where the mummy goes after the people who freed him  after all  those who took his artifacts are cursed   unfortunately  the film attempts to be way too much in such a short span of time  becoming a tug of war for control between genres  on one hand  it is a fast paced action film  on the other  its a frightening horror film  and on the side  its a hilarious comedy  ideally  for it to be successful  the film would have to focus on one the more action oriented aspect  with one character serving as the comic relief  that would be johnson   the problem with this film is that it has at least three characters serving as comic relief  with rick occasionally delivering his witty oneliner  if they were trying to make a horroractioncomedy  it would have helped if it were established early on in the film  but unfortunately  with the backstory of imhoteps entombment  that would be impossible  and then theres the slapstick fight scene between a swordwielding rick and an army of mummies  while really well done  it had the feel of slapstick comedy  replace the sword with a chainsaw and youd effectively have ash fighting zombies in army of darkness  while entertaining and funny  it feels really out of place  but at least its a break from the naive heroes that brendan fraser has been playing a lot of  on the whole  the movie is pure popcorn fare from beginning to end  entertaining the audience  but i must end my review with a plea to movie theatre owners    turn the sound down  while a lot of theatres have good sound systems  my ears were almost ringing as i walked out of the theatre  the sound is particularly irritating and will make you crap your pants if youre not careful   when they were showing the trailer for the upcoming schwarzenegger film   end of days   it was so loud i couldnt make anything out  
pos	on rewatching italian writerdirector dario argentos much lauded murder mystery tenebrae  i was struck more than anything else by how many sins he commits as a storyteller and manages to get away with  in emphasising style over matters of plot argento is somewhat notorious in cult film circles  but some aficionados still praise tenebrae as the greatest of his  giallo  murder mysteries  while its certainly not perfect  repeated viewings reveal it to be nonetheless a densely plotted and terrifically stylish thriller  the story follows a promotional visit to rome by famous american mystery novelist peter neal  anthony franciosa  where he discovers that a serial killer is on the loose inspired by his latest book  tenebrae   with the police on his back for leads  he decides to take a personal interest in the case and he soon becomes drawn into a mystery where all is not as it seems  the film benefits enormously from a fine central performance by franciosa  he brings grace  charm and a deceptive benigness to his character which provides an interesting foil to both the violence of the books he writes and the unfolding reallife horror around him  the film is awash with a fascinating psychosexual tension  argento peels back the facade of showbiz and jetset lifestyles to reveal an amoral  ambivalent  shadowy world where desire in all its forms has become a dangerous business  tenebrae is perhaps the most multilayered of argentos scripts to date and there is much bubbling underneath the surface here  it may take at least two or three viewings to appreciate all the psychological themes at play  in that respect it strongly recalls his previous giallo deep redprofondo rosso  the fulllength italian language version  and fans will enjoy spotting the recurring themes  needless to say for argento fans  there is no denying the directors brilliance as a stylist  many of the action and murder sequences are directed with his characteristic finesse and feature plenty of intriguing camerawork  they are all the more impressive for the fact that in this film argento creates mood by filling his scenes with light  rather than the dark shadows and deep rich colours of earlier works like deep red and suspiria  instead  tenebraes set design and lighting paints a sleek  clinical  chilly vision of a vaguely futuristic urban world  and the soundtracks mix of electronic atmospheres and gothic rock by frequent argento collaborators goblin is the perfect accompaniment  so tenebrae has much to recommend it  no question  still  constantly nagging at the back of this viewers mind is several lumps in the narrative  some critics argue that logic doesnt matter in argento films  but damnit  it matters in all films to the point where viewers dont deserve to feel cheated  by the way  if you dont want to know the solution to the mystery then skip the next three paragraphs  about an hour into tenebrae the story takes an unexpected twist which  properly handled  could have proved ingenious  we witness the murder of the serial killer himself by a man who  we later discover  is none other than the author peter neal  he is insane  apparently  the murders then continue for the remainder of the film as neal decides its time to settle some personal business involving his neurotic wife  he is finally revealed to us as this  second killer  in the films bloody climax  but argento muffs the twist  both technically and narratively  you see  we are supposed to be tricked into thinking that during this scene peter neal is actually an innocent witness who was crouching in the bushes nearby the whole time and spying on the killers house  but thanks to poor editing  its had to believe neal could have murdered the killer anyway  bad cutting puts the timing way out  in other words  hes almost in two places at once  during this crucial scene we are also thrown a ridiculous red herring  by the films end you realise that for the sake of an alibi neal must have selfinflicted a nasty injury in this earlier scene to make it look like he was attacked by a fleeing assailant  the injury  he banged himself on the head with a bloody great rock  thus  the revelation of the  hero  as a killer  and antihero  in the final scenes may still prove shocking  but its all somewhat implausible by the time the end credits have rolled  helpfully  in the end we do learn that the bizarre flashbacks of personal humiliation and murder that have permeated the film belonged to neal all along  but there too is a problem  as the explanations offered for his motivations are psychologically fuzzy to say the least  the story owes us a better understanding of franciosas mind  his concealed madness and his sudden murderous rampage  tenebrae is also marred by annoying little inconsistencies  for instance  a teenage boy and girl leave a hotel room and minutes later we see the girl riding off on the back of a motorbike  we would assume the rider is the same boy  but it turns out to be some male character we arent even introduced too  thats careless filmmaking  pure and simple  why  you may ask  do i go on about the storys flaws  because when it comes to visuals and set pieces  argento is one of the most exciting filmmakers in the world  take one of the extended scenes in tenebrae  an upset girl wandering the streets at night needlessly taunts a guard dog to the point where  almost unbelievably  it jumps a high fence and chases her across town  finally  as she desperately seeks escape from this crazed canine  she accidentally stumbles on the serial killers lair  its an absolutely masterful sequence  tense and exciting  and communicating a wealth of information through visuals alone  and thats exactly the kind of thing that makes the flaws so frustrating  too often  it seems  argentos films as a whole are less than the sum of their impressive parts  mind you  if you love murder mysteries then tenebrae is still worth a look  and if youre a fan of argentos unique style of giallo thriller then its essential  see the uncut widescreen version if you can and drink in some of the wonderful cinematography by luciano tovoli  its a stylish  greatlooking and quirky film despite the problem narrative  a shame  because it doesnt have to be that way  take argentos more recent stendhal syndrome  1992   where with the aid of cowriter franco ferrini he fashioned a solid storyline without sacrificing any of his surreal weirdness or visual panache  proof that he can do it  if he tries    
pos	as any sociologist will attest  your childhood and the types of parents that you have will heavily influence your happiness as an adult  parents that are supportive and environments that are nurturing will yield children who will embrace the values and norms that can allow them to live healthy and productive lives  but if your upbringing is marred with violence  hate and dysfunctionality  then your journey towards a happy adulthood will be saddled with psychological obstacles almost too great to overcome  affliction explores how a man never truly escapes the grip of an unforgivingly nightmarish childhood  the man in question is wade whitehouse  nick nolte   here is a man who is like any other citizen on the surface  he is a productive member of the community and goes about his daily routine much like you and me  but as you scratch beneath the surface  something scary and evil begins to rear its ugly head  we see that he is a meantempered person  he has a hard time taking control of his emotions  which usually gets the better of him  he is quick to apologize for his actions and wants to be a gentle person  but something is sparking a tendency towards violence  he also has tremendous problems with relationships  he is divorced and his only connection to love is his daughter  but his bearish persona and stature alienates her  he is visibly shaken by her rejection even though she says that she loves him  his demeanor also puts his relationship with a local townsgirl  sissy spacek  at risk  she tries to remain true to him and supportive  but for women unlucky enough to attach themselves to this kind of person  relationships will ultimately end like sentences ending with an exclamation point  finally  he is spiteful and vindictive  as a rejected father  he initiates a custody battle that seems hopeless  as the towns only police officer  he issues a speeding ticket to a man whose father has just died  we can see that this is a man that is both afflicted and living with pain  he is a prisoner and a slave to it  he is moving towards a level of madness and insanity that defies comprehension  what kind of force can move a man to the edge of his emotions and beyond the reach of people who genuinely care for him  we learn that the answer is his father  james coburn   this is the kind of father that every son would be ashamed to have and that any woman would be afraid to meet  he is an overbearingly misogynistic and frequent drunk who rules with an iron fist  we see his tyrannical behavior through flashbacks  to heighten the fathers churlishness  the flashbacks are shown as home video footage taken by a very frightened person  very effective  today  wades dad is quite elderly  but still manages to instill fear into a grown man  the influence that the father possesses is inescapable  and its unsavory effect clamps down hard on the tortured wade  the result is every sons nightmare  becoming like the father that one has always dreaded to be  this is a terrifically presented piece of psychological drama  and nolte turns in a strong performance as a man whose pain seems to become a detriment as well as a necessity  hes a hulking person who is still reduced to whimpers when in the presence of his father  coburn displays heft as the bitter dad  but  its most certainly not saturdaynightfriendly fare  theres nothing light or fluffy about this film  that may turn many moviegoers away  but its certainly worth noting that this is a wellacted drama showcasing noltes and coburns raw acting talents  
pos	is evil dead ii a bad movie  its full of terrible acting  pointless violence  and plot holes yet it remains a cult classic nearly fifteen years after its release  explaining why this movie stands out from others with similar plots  including the original evil dead  is extremely difficult  well whats it about   five people stranded in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere struggling to survive vicious attacks from a variety of ugly  hairy  wart covered monsters   come on i saw a movie just like that on monster vision last week  why should i see it again   no evil dead ii is different  its funny   its funny to see people die  are you sick or something   maybe i am and maybe director sam raimi is as well to create such an enigma of a movie  his unique execution is as sarcastic as subtle  as disturbing as it is hilarious  an example of raimis odd approach  a monster  formerly protagonist ashs girlfriend of all people  is cut in half by a chainsaw and a tidal wave of blood comes from the open wound  sure its overthetop  but it is so overthetop that it is laugh out loud funny  just try watching ash with a straight face as he unexpectedly is showered with ten gallons of blood  staining his face and knocking him back a few feet  the whole movie is like this  watch ash get beat up  watch ash defeat the monster  watch ash get beat up again by another even zanier monster  the more repetitive and unrealistic the movie gets  the more amusing it becomes  no matter how sick it may sound  it is funny to watch bruce ampbells ash get his butt kicked every five minutes  and raimi takes advantage  he has ash tormented by the head of his girlfriend  by the body of an old lady  even by his own right hand  like the less superior idle hands  we watch ash uncontrollably hit himself over and over again until he is forced to cut off his own body part  but it doesnt end  ash now has to fight his severed hand which now moves with the same celerity as thing from the addams family  all of these events  thrown at you from minute one with roller coaster like camera movements  at first become shocking  then inexplicably funny  raimi expects the audience to laugh and as the film progresses  he seems to be enjoying himself even more by borrowing the classic mirror scene from the marx brothers duck soup  then bringing more characters into the picture to comically kill them off  with a running time of less than an hour and a half  raimi gets away with the impossible  making a horror film with more gore than plot and intentionally more laughs than scares  ending evil dead ii with an opening for the third film in the series  raimi obviously had a lot of fun making this movie and couldnt wait to make its sequel  
pos	its rather strange too have two computer animated talking ant movies come out in a single year  but that is what disney and pixar animation  s latest film represents  while a bugs life isnt nearly as deep as its predecessor  dreamworks antz  it is just as funny  a bugs life centers  appropriately  around the life of an ant  named flik  flik  cutely voiced by newsradios david foley  hates sticking too tradition and attempts too find new ways of harvesting food and other task  when one of his inventions causes the offering too be completely lost  the leaders of the colony send him out on a mission too get him out of the way  the offering is food that a vile group of grasshoppers force the ants too harvest for them  the leader of the grasshoppers is hopper  who is fiendishly voiced by oscar winner kevin spacey  when the offering is lost hopper is very upset and he vows to return shortly too retrieve double the amount of food  when the leaders of the ant colony send flik out on his mission  they never dream he will be successful  they just hope they can get him out of the way so they can harvest the extra food  fliks mission is too hire some warrior bugs too fight off the grasshoppers when they return  instead flik accidentally hires circus performing bugs  who he mistakenly assumes are warriors  when he returns with the warriors  the town is ecstatic until they find out the truth about their heroes  a bugs life has animation that is simply stunning  the sheer uniqueness of the day to day bug life is very imaginative  together with the great voice acting  this film is the perfect holiday family film  its main weakness is that it couldnt beat antz to the theaters  making it seem like stale material  
pos	not since oliver stones natural born killers has there been a movie this incendiary  and not since david cronenberg has a socalled mainstream director been this willing to repeatedly tiptoe the fine line between pointed social commentary and outright social irresponsibility  while finchers films have never suffered from a lack of shock value  his major character killings in both alien 3 and seven are fine examples   fight club marks the distillation of his pitchblack comedic sensibility  see 1997s the game  into something like a definitive statement  jack  norton  acting as both narrator and protagonist  is your typical cubicle clone  whose disillusionment is amplified by a seemingly incurable insomnia  on the offhand advice of a doctor  he sits in on grouptherapy sessions for everything from blood parasites to testicular cancer  here he meets bob  marvin lee aday  aka meat loaf   a canceremasculated eunuch with profound gynecomastia  strangely  the release he finds while sobbing on bobs breasts allows him to sleep at night  at least until a fellow grouptherapy  tourist  named marla singer  carter  comes along to ruin things for him  forcing a grudging compromise that recalls monty python in its dark hilarity  later  he meets tyler durden  pitt   a soap salesman with a decidedly subversive outlook on life  one night  after his ikea furnished condo explodes  dont ask youll just have to see the movie  awright    he is goaded by tyler into a fight  and damned if it doesnt feel good  it is pure  raw existence  a brief moment of clarity and purpose that makes his dreary workaday life pale in comparison  he moves into tylers squalid abandoned mansion  and they form the titular organization  an underground therapy group where men bond with bareknuckle savagery and very few rules  the first two of which are  dont talk about fight club   armed with charisma and an attractive anticorporate philosophy  tyler assumes leadership of the burgeoning membership of whitecollar slaves and deadend mcemployees  resentment creeps into jacks heart  made worse by the fact that tyler is also regularly and noisily boffing the hated marla  funded by a frivolous lawsuit  tyler begins molding his devotees into an army dedicated to mischief and mayhem  their initially juvenile pranks  like pissing in food and putting spike belts on roads  quickly evolve into something more like sedition  and jack fears that things have gone sour  it is after this point  when you are plenty uncomfortable and wondering just how far fincher will go to say something original  that the film uncorks a disappointing plot twist  it is so contrived and so conventional compared to what precedes it that everything which follows  including the ending  becomes far less interesting  its a major  though not fatal  flaw  and for a director as notoriously unpredictable as fincher  it feels like a copout  fight club is going to be misconstrued by a great many people  in the early going  it has a downright dangerous feel  it seems to be saying that violence and civil disobedience are good for the soul  and this is undoubtedly the message that a few moronic punks are going to take from it  ill be mightily surprised if imitation fight clubs dont spring up here and there  and ill be even more amazed if fincher isnt vilified for it by the same humorless witchhunters that are currently after oliver stone  they neednt bother  because fight club is less a message movie than finchers elaborate attempt at a joke  tyler durden  for all his dionysian allure  is really nothing more than the logical  and far less hypocritical  extrapolation of all those selfhelp gurus who constantly show up on oprah to preach their mefirst gospel of selfactualization  in this context  the joke works  but like the latest columbine joke  some people will get it and enjoy a good laugh  and others wont  hopefully  though  their silly moral outrage wont spoil the joke for the rest of us  
pos	plot  a bunch of bad guys dressed up as elvis impersonators rob a vegas casino during a presley convention  the boys eventually get together to split the money  but as plans change  doublecrosses occur  dealing and wheeling goes down and the crew set up for the road  whos on the up and up  whos the real bad guy and whos gonna get to bang courteney cox are just a few of the questions which will be answered by the rest of this movie  critique  the funnest movie that ive seen so far this year  its got style  its got tough guys talkin shite and its got plenty of bullets to go around  a definite hunkahunka burnin adventure  a guys guy movie through and through  and one thatll set your jollies to high if you dig on the rough stuff  its not very original  it goes on for a little too long  but costner and russell make it happen  as two shitekickin elvis lovers  who dont stop till they  more or less  drop  this movies got some pretty intensive shootout scenes  one of the coolest robbery scenarios that ive ever witnessed  featuring several elvises with guns a blazin and the kings music playing in the background  and a decent helping of doublecrosses  sharp dialogue and funny moments  in fact  even though the cast is filled with many name actors  bactors as they might be for the most part   most of them do their bit and succeed well in passing the torch onto the next victim  but the true glue that holds this film together  other than the spirit of elvis himself  is costner and russell  who play their badass characters to the t  sure  russells been down this road before  but costner surprised me with his nastiness  i guess hes pissed at all the boxoffice bombs that hes been in of late  but he sure played a great unstable elvis impersonating robber here  in the end  the bottom line with this movie is having fun  kickin ass and making sure theres enough bubblegum around to chew afterwards  and smoke em if you got em  folks  there is also this one really great showdown scene between costner and a cop  thatll have you crackin up and lovin it all at the same time  the violent scenes in this movie are violent and the entire film is wrapped in a soundtrack thatll kick your arse from this end of the theatre to the next  it should actually come to no surprise to anyone that the director of this movie comes from a music video background  with plenty  and i mean plenty  of camera tricks  cuts and edits  but for this kind of flick  it actually works  the film is not perfect though  it starts off with a pretty big bang  but then pulls a way of the gun on us  and slows the pace down somewhat in the middle  while characters intermingle and disperse  i was personally kept in the game despite some soft spots  and enjoyed the overall ride for what it was as well  and did i mention that courteney cox looked megahot in the movie  no    okay  well i just did  i coulda done without her whole  romance  angle  but to be honest  it doesnt take up much of the film  which is generally covered in blood  explosions  guts and elvis nods  try to see how many  inside  connections to the king you can guess  of course  its no secret that i am quite a big elvis fan myself so please take this whole review with that grain of salt in mind  i also like these types of  guy  movies a lot  and even though the film doesnt bring much originality to the table  it does offer a pretty coherent story  some nice twists and turns  humor and a big ol helping of whoopass coming straight from costner and russells respective boots  probably not a film for everyone  but definitely for those who enjoy the guns  the charismatic bad guys and a fun  if entirely disposable  adventure  now see how many elvis songs ive used to pun my way through this phony review below  the elvis songs also recommend this movie  so whether youre lonesome tonight or any other night  remember to pack the teddy bear with bullets  leave your little sister at home  bring your bossa nova baby and rock out of that jailhouse  cause this movie aint one to return to the sender  i really beg of you  whether youre stuck in the ghetto or crying in the chapel  to slap this cinematic ring around your neck and love it tender  and no suspicious minds either  folks  cause i got stung by this movie  i mean it really shook me up  and unless youre the devil in disguise himself  i think you wont be able to help falling in love with this lucky charm either  so dont be cruel  dont turn away  dont curl up with your latest flame tonite  whether she be a hardheaded woman or not  and surrender to the hound dog of movies that is this film  its now or never  folks  trust me  i did it my way and the heartbreak hotel of crappy movies that id seen so far this year is far behind me  joblo has now officially left the sanity of his mind and this building  thank you    thank you very much   wheres joblo coming from  get carter  710   heat  810   honeymoon in vegas  910   payback  810   reindeer games  510  reservoir dogs  910   way of the gun  610  
pos	from the commercials  this looks like a mildmannered neil simonesque tale with mary tyler moore baring her bra touted as the highlight  instead it turns out to be a hilarious film running in high gear from beginning to end  the concept is deceptively pedestrian  an adult adopted son is looking for his biological parents and encounters eccentric characters along the way  the movie demonstrates just how far a good script and actors can take a mundane idea  the son and his wife take off on the search accompanied by a woman from the agency who located his parents  following one dead end lead after another  each funnier than the previous  they eventually end up in new mexico with his real biological parents  alan alda and lily tomlin  its difficult to condense the mileaminute plot  seemingly hundreds of scenes jump on top of each other without giving you a chance to recover from the last one  without giving too much away  one of the better episodes involves a gay federal alcohol  tobacco and firearms agent attempting an arrest while tripping on lsd as his bisexual partner is upstairs licking the armpit of a woman while her husband is in the next room seducing their traveling companion  and its all done in a fairly clean  almost  well  maybe not exactly  family fare manner  a grand cast  tomlin  alda  moore  ben stiller  patricia arquette  tea leoni  george segal  interacts in a seamless parade of laughs  drawing from a more hyper woody allen style  the film succeeds beyond expectations  
pos	im not quite sure how best to go about writing this review  i must admit that i was a little disappointed by barry levinsons political satire  wag the dog   but in retrospect  this has less to do with the film itself than with false expectations i had going into it  quite a few of the reviews i have read led me to believe that this film was absolutely hilarious and would make me laugh out loud the whole way through  and it didnt do that  they also led me to believe that it would deliver a vicious and alltootrue attack on the way the american political media works  and it didnt quite do that either  a few of them even suggested that it would prove a worthy successor to stanley kubricks  dr  strangelove  in the tradition of political black comedy  and it most definitely didnt do that  that said   wag the dog  is actually a very clever satire on the shady manipulations of political figures and those who assist them  the story revolves around the attempts of political spin doctor conread brean  robert deniro  to distract the american public from the accusations that the president  who is up for reelection in two weeks  sexually harassed a young girl in the oval office  the accusations  the script suggests  are probably untrue  but as brean so pointedly puts it  that isnt particularly relevant  the scandal is likely to derail the presidents campaign regardless of its truth or falsehood  brean  along with his assistant  anne heche   decide to contact hollywood producer stanley motss  dustin hoffman  to enlist his help in concocting enough propaganda and specialeffects trickery to make it appear that the u  s  is going to war with albanian terrorists and thus propel the president to victory on a wave of patriotic fervor  as i said   wag the dog  is not quite as laughoutloud hilarious as i had expected  but there are some genuinely funny moments to be found here  such as when  in an echo of a familiar movie clich   the camera pans out over an urban sunset to the strains of uplifting  inspirational music  then cuts to a studio to reveal that the singing is coming from a group of musicians whom motss has assembled to perform  we have the right to fight for democracy   another scene shows us how  with modern editing equipment  an actress running across a sound stage with a bag of potato chips can be turned into a frightened young girl and her kitten fleeing a terrorist attack on her village  the most consistently effective gag revolves around the propaganda teams attempt to forge a fictional war hero out of sgt  william  old shoe  schumann  woody harrelson   an exmilitary officer who turns out to be a firstclass psycho  of course  not everything goes as planned  the cia  for example  realizes whats going on and strikes a deal with the presidents electoral opponent to report to the media that the  fighting  has ended  forcing motss and brean to come up with a new angle on the supposed albanian crisis  still  even with the cias involvement  the film falls a little short in terms of making this scenario believable  regardless of the official word from the president or the cia  wouldnt the major media outlets have eastern european correspondents who could verify that there is  in fact  no fighting going on in albania  the film never addresses this question  nor does it show the reactions of the american public to the news of the apparent war except for a few scenes which border on the farcical  such as when basketball fans litter the court with shoes in support of the aforementioned sgt  schumann  we are apparently meant to assume that everyone is buying it  there was also an instance  towards the end of the film  in which one of motsss forced reinventions of the story seems to contradict what he and brean had been selling to the public thus far and could conceivably have given the game away  with these plot holes   wag the dog  doesnt quite work as a satire of american politics  but it does send up the mentality that might lead to these kinds of machinations in the first place  brean and his advisors never seem concerned that what they are doing is unethical  rather  they worry about how convincing it will be and whether or not they have enough money to pull it off  the film takes a decidely dark turn towards the end  as we learn how far they are willing to go in order to keep the propaganda campaign a secret  motss and his hollywood buddies  meanwhile  seem completely out of touch with the rest of the world and just see this undertaking as another creative project  in fact  one of the sources of conflict in the film is motsss increasing restlessness with the idea of not being able to take credit for producing the fake war  in his mind  it is the greatest work of art he has ever created  i think its fair to say that  wag the dog  underachieves a little bit  more attention to the public reaction and tighter plotting might have made this into a fourstar film and a classic satire  still  the issue of an american president using war and patriotism to distract from scandals or domestic unpopularity is a very real one  wag the dog takes the issue one step further and asks  what if the war wasnt even real  with this premise and the talented cast  the film still delivers more consistently than most  whatever its flaws  
pos	the sheer horrific audacity of the nazi plan to exterminate the jews of europe is almost incomprehensible  people may make documentaries about it for another hundred years and still not understand the organized  methodical hatred  five concentration camp survivors from the last days of world war ii tell their stories in the last days  the first documentary from steven spielbergs survivors of the shoah visual history foundation  the five interviewees are linked by their hungarian ancestry  as the introduction explains  even as germany started to lose the war  the nazis stepped up their extermination of the jews in europe  in 1944  hungary had the last big population of jews within germanys reach  and they became the last target of hitlers  final solution   each of the five tells his or her story  their stories are intercut chronologically  starting from normal life in prewar hungary  they recall the nazi invasion of hungary  being sent to  work  camps and their realization that they were actually in death camps  they recall their horrible  precarious lives in auschwitz and buchenwald  the deaths of their family and friends  their loss of hope  each recalls his or her unfathomable  eventual liberation  and finally  the last days shows their cathartic  pained  modernday return to their old homes and the camps  needless to say  their stories are horrifying  amazing  and emotionally draining  by themselves  the stories would be forceful testaments  but by cutting them in parallel  their impact is multiplied by five  the last days is a talkingheads style documentary  its mostly pictures of people telling their stories  intercut with period photographs and newsreel footage  in this kind of movie its almost impossible to get archival pictures from the same time and place being discussed onscreen  but director james moll made a better effort than most at finding specific  or at least relevant  images to go with his subjects narration  the liner notes  one of the many nice features of this dvd  indicate that there is some neverbeforeseen historical footage in the last days  its not clear which scene it is  it could be one of two that i hadnt seen before  both powerful  one is rare color footage  shot by an american  of piles of victims in cattle cars  there is something jarring  something unsettling about seeing the pictures in color  when so much of the footage from world war ii is in black and white  another segment shows walking skeletons  survivors who are so starved that they hardly look human anymore  there has been a glut of holocaust movies and i was skeptical that a new documentary would have anything new to say  but by focusing on hungarian jews during the last days of the war  moll told a specific part of the story in a new way  in greater detail  and im glad he did because his careful filmmaking stands up well compared to other movies on the same subject  the transfer to dvd is rich and beautiful  xmozillastatus  0009f words for a holocaust documentary  but some of the interviews take place in europe in late spring  when skies are blue and trees are green  also  the movie was shot on 35mm film  and not video    so the richness and detail are impeccable  the dvds features are plentiful and wellchosen  there is a theatrical trailer for the movie  which is a great introduction to the subject matter  there are about fifty still photos  both from the production crew and from the private collections of the survivors  also  the disc has two complete versions of the movie  widescreen and full screen   both on the same side  one of the more interesting dvd features is an outtake segment for each of the survivors  plus one for the crew   youd think outtakes would be inappropriate in a holocaust documentary  but theyre not bloopers  instead  they are solid  moving segments that were probably cut from the film only for length  one of them continues a confrontation that was only touched on lightly in the film  renee firestone  one of the five  spoke on camera with dr  hans m  nch  a german doctor who ran the medical clinic at auschwitz  firestone was aggressive  questioning the doctor about what his children thought  the doctor was evasive and clearly uncomfortable  another of the outtakes showed bill basch saying a prayer for his dead friends at auschwitz  he ends his prayer by saying     forgive me for surviving   its ambitious to shoot a documentary on 35mm film  its ambitious to make it on a subject that has saturated cable  television  and movies  its ambitious to make it 54 years after the events it covers  but the last days handles all these potential obstacles very well  its only fitting that the dvd  with its wealth of interesting and relevant features  would also be ambitious and successful  
pos	it is easy to label something sentimental or tear jerking when one has not experienced the heartache of losing a child  whether that may be in life or in death  after having said that  i will also say that this movie does all of the above very well  one gets that choking sensation in the throat  because of grief  when one brother forgives another for a costly mistake  or when a husband hugs his wife after a long estrangement  there is no ocean  no drownings and it does not conjure up memories of yet another  ordinary people  in fact the only thing remotely connected to the ocean is probably tap water and the toilet flushing  not that this literally happened in the movie   so what are the lessons learnt  1  dont take your children to class reunions  2  dont leave them alone in the lobby  not even for a second  michelle pfeiffer once again plays the role of a highlystrung wife and mother  a trend that started with  a thousand acres and  one fine day  my comment is that she is exceptionally fine strung in this movie  so much so that when she has a nervous break down  the veins on her temples bulge impressively  whoopi golberg also puts in an understated performance  playing a lesbian cop  with a name that makes one want to reach for a lollipop  lastly  who are the ideal companions for this sort of movie  my grandmother comes to mind  
pos	i know that  funnest  isnt a word   fun  is a noun  and therefore cannot be conjugated like an adjective  but thats the word that came to me right after viewing  chicken run   no wonder  this is the kind of movie that reduces you to childish expressions  like  that was the funnest movie ive ever seen   so to hell with websters   chicken run  is one of the funnest movies ive seen in a while  i cant remember the last time ive seen anything funner  the chickens at tweedys farm are up to something  living in a concentration camplike atmosphere  they are led by one plucky hen called ginger  voice of julia sawalha  who continually comes up with plans for escape  and always gets caught  subsequently spending day after day in the coal box  one night  a brash american rooster flies in over the fence  calling himself rocky  mel gibson   famous flying rooster and circus performer  rocky promises to teach the chickens how to fly  and the situation grows more desperate as the nefarious mrs  tweedy  miranda richardson  decides to abandon the farms eggselling plan for a pieselling plan  she orders a huge piemaking machine  cackling   chickens go in  pies come out   what sort of pies  chicken pies  of course  codirector nick park and his studio  aardman animation  produced three oscarwinning short films   creature comforts    the wrong trousers   and  a close shave   the latter two were the second and third installments of a trilogy starring the delightful team wallace  gromit  a man and his dog famous for getting themselves into increasingly peculiar adventures  part of what made the  wallace  films brilliantly entertaining was parks uncanny ability to make an old story seem new   the wrong trousers   for example  pulled out a lot of old hitchcockian suspense tricks  and  a close shave  owed a great deal of inspiration to classic detective stories  but in the hands of park and his team  the stories felt fresh and inspired  and not the least bit contrived  now teaming with codirector peter lord  park has created a similar creature in  chicken run   the plot is largely lifted from  the great escape   watch for a quick reference to the ballbouncing scene   with some spielberginspired action sequences providing the excitement  thing is  the film doesnt feel like its been lifted from somewhere else   chicken run  feels fresh  alive  like nothing else ever done  part of it is the original idea  who in the world came up with the idea to make a prisonersofwar movie starring chickens  park and lord milk the incongruity for all its worth  the characters treat their situation as if it were dead serious  and to them  it is  but theyre  chickens   so its funny to us  another thing that helps  chicken run   and most of parks films  succeed is the animators subtle way of giving nods to the very films theyre cribbing  there are references to  the great escape   obviously  and  stalag 17   the chase sequence inside the chicken grinder parodies both  raiders of the lost ark  and  indiana jones and the temple of doom   theres even a nod to  the blues brothers   if you can believe it  and the filmmakers even get in a little lighthearted ribbing at the expense of their star voice actor  taking a couple of very subtle jabs at mel gibsons nationality and film history  the  braveheart  reference is a hoot if you catch it  when you consider just how fine a line resides between a funny parody and a redundant one   chicken run  is downright brilliant in its execution  consider this  since july of last year  ive seen dozens upon dozens of  blair witch project  parodies  on television  on the radio  and online  out of all those  maybe one or two were amusing  the rest tiresome  why  because once you got past the thought that  theyre parodying that8216  blair witch movie   most of the parodies had nothing to offer  no insight  no original idea  no greater purpose  they were only funny if you had seen the movie  otherwise  you got nothing  conversely   chicken run  doesnt lean on its parodies  the film references are never the sole focus of any scene  if youve never seen  indiana jones   the chase sequence is still fun  even if you have no idea who mel gibson is  rocky remains an interesting character  park  lord  and screenwriter karey kirkpatrick realize that an audience does not need a parody shoved in their faces before its understood  and as a result   chicken run  is filled with visual and verbal jabs that are never too obvious  but not quite vague either  enjoyment of this movie doesnt require knowledge of film history  but if youve got it   chicken run  is that much richer  the voice cast turns in uniformly lively performances  and the characters they play are given so many subtle nuances that its hard not to fall in love with every one of them  ginger is perfect  spunky and opinionated  but with a soft heart that forbids her to leave her companions behind  and julia sawalha  known as the cute mousy girl on  absolutely fabulous   nails it  she has warm  human chemistry with gibson  whose rocky hides his personal doubt under a brash gungho veneer  the characters inevitable romance doesnt feel contrived  but sweet  poor mr  tweedy  tony haygarth  suspects the chickens are organizing in some way  but his limited intellect prevents him from figuring things out  and his overbearing wife certainly isnt any help  jane horrocks delivers a lovely voice characterization as tragically optimistic babs  a hen that runs away with most of the best oneliners  all while perpetually crocheting a sweater   and two supplytrading rats that seem to have walked straight out of a monty python sketch nearly steal the show during the lively central swingdancing sequence  they even come up with an inspired riff on something thats baffled scholars and theologians alike for decades  the chicken vs  egg dilemma  one might have expected this inevitable joke to come off as wearisome  but as with most of  chicken run   it comes as a delightful surprise  the film manages to cross all barriers  it should be accessible to both children and adults  brits and yanks  rats and chickens  the animation is firstrate  remember that this was all done the oldfashioned way  with actual humans moving clay figurines around on a tiny set bit by painstaking bit  and you see just how truly remarkable  chicken run  really is  this movie possesses that same quality that makes pixar studios animation great  precise and unwavering attention to detail  as in such topnotch family fare as  a bugs life  or  toy story 2    chicken run  has something to offer in nearly every frame  certainly a passive viewer can enjoy it as a straightforward story with a worthwhile moral and some surprisingly touching scenes  but a active  attentive viewers will enjoy it even more because theyll catch all the details  anyway  the movies just a boatload of fun  funnest damn movie ive seen all year  
pos	capsule  a short punchy action sequel to the two dinosaur films made by steven spielberg  joe johnston directs a straightforward story of an excursion back to the island of the dinosaurs  it lets us see some new dinosaurs  is that an oxymoron   and gives us a nice and generally reasonably written adventure  the film is neither ambitious nor pretentious  i had a good time   low 2  4 to 4  here goes my credibility  this is a film on which i expect to be in a minority  i liked the third jurassic park film  i even liked the second jurassic park film  in a lot of ways jurassic park  the lost world was a creative threeway braiding together of michael crichtons novel the lost world  arthur conan doyles novel the lost world  and the classic silent film version of the doyle  jp2 was an adventure  as doyle said   for the boy whos half man or the man whos half boy   that is what all the jurassic park films are  expecting them to give the viewer insights into the human condition is like expecting your car to vacuum your house  the classic adventure films like gunga din or king solomons mines had underwritten characters also  jurassic park iii is an all out adventure on an island inhabited by dinosaurs  the characters are a little more complex than they at first appear to be  and even that is a little more complex than i was expecting  some of the characters who start out looking stupid and useless prove to be neither as the film proceeds  that degree of complexity combined with those very realistic looking dinosaur effects is just about as much as i require  i feel i got my moneys worth  the story opens with eric  played by trevor morgan  and friend parasailing near the forbidden island of isla sorna off costa rica  this was the research island where the dinosaurs were created for the now defunct jurassic park  they hope  no doubt  to get a look at the islands dinosaurs from a safe height  the height is safe  but driving the boat in the water is not  the two soon find themselves in trouble and have to ditch their parasail onto the island where they do indeed get a better look at the dinosaurs than they had intended  flash to the united states and someone is offering to fund paleontologist alan grant  sam neill  in his research if he will go and fly over isla sorna and act as a guide  he has said that no force on earth or heaven could get him back near real dinosaurs  but again money convinces him to drop what he is doing and go  doing the convincing is a wealthy and eccentric couple  william h  macy and tea leoni  who has been just about everywhere else in the world and wants the adventure of seeing real dinosaurs  they too plan to see the island from a safe height grant is relieved to learn  he will fly over this island at a safe altitude just this once  right  guess what happens next  jp3 probably functions better as a sequel than jp2  first it has alan grant and ellie sattler  laura dern  back rather than the much less appealing ian malcolm  sattler has a much smaller part in jp3  but is still present to tie this story to the first  curiously each film seems to arrange to have a signature scene with characters holding on to some large metal object that is about to fall some great distance  one thing that does not quite fit with the earlier films is just as grant discovers that raptors may be able to talk to each other  suddenly they seem to be doing it all the time  they did not appear to be conversing in the previous films  of course  these raptors look a little different also  so perhaps they are a different related species  not only are they more intelligent than in the past films  they are also more sympathetic  in this story they are not just killing machines  they have reasonable motives for what they do beyond nutrition  this time around they may be a little too anthropomorphized  each new film in the series introduces us to some new dinosaurs  of course  in this film a major threat is from a spinosaurus  not as common or as popularly known as a tyrannosaurus  but larger and presumably more nasty  it has a crocodiles head and the body that looks like a dimetrodon walking upright  perhaps as an economy measure or just to create a mood the visual effects team frequently obscures our view of the dinosaurs  sometimes they just move too fast to see  occasionally darkness or fog obscures our vision  a few times we get unconvincing matte shot  particularly of the laboratory  but there is less money on the screen in terms of dinosaur effects than in the two previous films  the musical score by don davis borrows heavily from john williamss score for the first film  joe johnston  who directs  already has to his credit two very good films i recommend the rocketeer and october sky  a team including alexander payne and jim taylor known for election writes the screenplay  the film they have made is a long way from great cinema  but it still is fun  if you get a thrill from seeing what look very much like live dinosaurs alive today  the film is for you  i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  
pos	just look back two years ago at the coen brothers comedic gem the big lebowski  change the actors  take away the bowling alley  add a record store  and youve got high fidelity  or maybe the other way around since nick hornbys novel high fidelity came first   either way  its been done before  a trio of losers cracking jokes and complaining about their failed romances  yet it remains consistently funny  why is this  maybe because you know your life is much better than this  you know these guys are more pathetic than you are  and you know its ok to laugh at them because theyre fictional  director stephen frears  possibly not intentionally  has created a movie that makes you feel good about yourself and even that ostensibly no good uncle who watches television twenty four hours a day  when watching high fidelity  expect to laugh at someone elses pain  realize what you are laughing at  and then laugh again  i laughed at dick  todd louiso   the shy  timorous  steve buscemi character of lebowski  who seems to know what he is talking about but either cant put it into words or is harshly rejected by his friends  i laughed at the john goodman character barry  jack black   an exact replica of the comic bookstore owner on the simpsons  pudgy  egotistic  and obnoxious at the same time  and i laughed at rob  john cusack   the jeff bridges type  whom the story revolves around  rob is the character easiest to relate to  but he is nothing like you at all  he uncontrollably cheats and lies  then is unable to realize why he can not hold onto a woman  and like his other miserable friends  pop music is where he inevitably goes for comfort  he spends the afternoons at his job quizzing his coworkers with obscure trivia or listening to new music and either deriding it or praising it  whatever human emotions the clash  aretha franklin  and bruce springsteen records hold  rob and co  grasp them and help fill voids in their social lives  rob has built an extensive collection in his record store as well as his home and he organizes them depending on what mood he is in  during this confused stage of his life in which the movie focuses on  rob is trying to cope with numerous rejections over the years by visiting past girlfriends and eventually asking why they dumped him  but these arent any girlfriends  these girls made the all time top five break ups in the history of rob  robs incessant use of lists show how pop music has played a major role in his life   the plot in three words is  women and music  the approach director stephen frears takes by having the charismatic rob speak directly to the camera is very effective  it gives high fidelity a quickly paced  informal structure  adjectives which perfectly parallel robs own lifestyle  it also helps open the viewers eyes as to how annoying barry is  jack black steals the show with a hilariously realistic performance as a total sleaze ball  just listening to him speak for five minutes makes the audience immediately sympathetic for rob  who must work with him every day of the week  what frears does so well is that he makes us feel sorry for rob while laughing at his misfortunes  john cusack plays his character convincingly but it is the strong supporting cast  consisting of big stars and character actors  that really defines rob  now instead of rob just talking to the camera  after he explains something  the remaining cast members physically and humorously create what he is trying to say  the only problem with high fidelity is that it doesnt end when it should have ended  instead the movie goes on for a torturous twenty minutes that seem a lot longer than that  also bruce springsteen is completely wasted in a brief cameo halfway through the movie  high fidelity is a cheerful  old fashioned comedy with a voluminous soundtrack and as many laughs  i just hope hollywood keeps creating losers on the big screen  they make everyone look and feel great  
pos	plot  a human space astronaut accidentally falls upon a planet ruled by apes  he is taken prisoner along with some other humans  and tries his best to escape his simian captors  oh yeah  and did i mention that the apes can talk  kewl  critique  despite this film not looking like a  tim burton movie  or its lead human character showing any signs of being a human being himself  i did find myself generally entertained throughout most of this film and do recommend it as fun  summer fare  although the thing that sets this movie apart from all others is definitely its incredible ape makeup jobs and characterizations  i mean  i was completely convinced that every single one of these apes was for real  i also have to  give it up  to all of the actors inside the costumes  not only for waking up at three in the morning every day to get makeup slobbered all over them for 24 hours  but for coming through their costumed exteriors and selling us their characters on the screen as well  i especially enjoyed bonham carters performance  who i believed to be the most developed character in the entire film  human or ape  and tim roths bad guy  who chewed up scenery and oozed evil in every scene in which he took part  plotwise  i liked the beginning of the film  the whole buildup once wahlberg got into the village  the escape and most of the fight scenes  but once things got out into the deserted area  and the final battle sequence   i kinda lost a bit of my interest  i was much more intrigued by the interactions between the characters and the whole idea of  human beings as animals  then i was about the end battle sequence  which just seemed a bit too typical for this kind of film  i also hated the  kid  character who just got on my nerves and didnt really care for the way that the battle sequence was resolved  i wont ruin it here but cmon guys    you coulda thought of something a little more plausible than that  no    but the thing that held this movie back more than anything else was its lead character  his cold demeanor and the zero chemistry that he shared with either one of his interspecies love interests  this dude didnt seem to give a rats ass about anyone but himself and i ultimately didnt really care about what happened to him either  now im not sure if this was the fault of the actor or the script  but the film suffered because of it  visually  the movie was also nice to look at  especially the apes    but i definitely expected greater coolness from tim burton  the  surprise ending  that highlighted the original planet of the apes film back in 1968  felt a little tacked on here  and despite being interesting  didnt really make all that much sense to me  unless you look at it from a sequel point of view   so overall  i loved the whole  feel  of the planet  the apes that ruled it  the manner in which they treated the humans  screamed  shouted and reverted the entire evolution chain  but didnt appreciate the films lack of human character development  why was kris kristofferson even in this movie   and the fact that its lead male and female humans were just plain boring  but i would still recommend this film as a fun  summer movie with laughs  creepiness and a really cool premise  ps  for anyone who has seen the original  i cannot believe that they didnt at least bring back the scene in which the lead human character  in this case  mark wahlberg  goes nuts at the world in which hes suddenly been thrust   this is a mad house    type of thing   the guy in this film barely seems to be  put off  by the fact that hes surrounded by apes who can speak english   wheres joblo coming from  the arrival  810   battlefield earth  710   godzilla  410   instinct  610   mission to mars  310   pitch black  710    1968  planet of the apes  910   sleepy hollow  810  
pos	disaster films have a tendency to be very formulated and very cliched  to see a disaster film with actual originality  or at least a decent plot twist  would definitely be a welcome surprise  unfortunately  folks  its not likely  dantes peak is cliched  and at times corny  but also pretty decent  to be honest  i wasnt very interested in seeing this film  and word of mouth  as well as several reviews  didnt make it sound promising  so i was pleasantly surprised that to find that this movie wasnt bad at all  its pretty run of the mill  but its not something i would say is merely  ok  to watch  in case you dont know  dantes peak is about a volcano and the city which lives in its shadow  dantes peak  who wouldve guessed  eh    pierce brosnan plays the volcanologist sent to study the volcano and  perhaps more by hunch than actual scientific proof  is determined that the volcano will be arupting in the very near future  due to the lack of more substantial evidence  nobody warns the small town  and when they finally do  its in the middle of the town meeting that the volcano finally blows  brosnan  all around good guy  will  of course  save the day    or at least the mayor of dantes peak  linda hamilton   naturally the two will become infatuated with one another   if you think i just ruined a plot development  you havent seen very many movies   theres also the virtually neccessary kids and pet dog to tug at your heart strings  and of course  the kids or the dog  at least one or the other  will do something heroic    but hey  i dont want to ruin all the surprises  if there was a part of you that was hesitating seeing dantes peak merely because it was rumored to be a waste of time  i urge you to watch it and decide for yourself  its not brain food  but it succeeds at what its meant to be    an enjoyable  suspenseful movie about the fury mother nature can unleash  
pos	in brief  best bleak comedy film since heathers  full of wonderful swipes at the fifteen minutes of fame mentality that feeds so much of modern american pop culture  go see it  so  i prepared for this film by watching a moving interview on  hard copy  with pam smart  the new hampshire media teacher who was convicted of engineering the death of her husband back in the 1980s   hard copy  s diane diamond asked smart what she thought about nicole kidmans fictionalized portrayal of her in the new film to die for  smart replied that she thought kidmans character came off as a dumb  vicious tramp and she thought that the publicity the new movie generates might just hurt her chances in her latest court appeal   smart was convicted and given a life sentence for her part in the murder of her husband   smarts got a point  it wouldnt be the first time that the public took the better scripted and wellacted movie version of an event as the absolute truth over the duller and far less artistic real life version  however  given a choice between the mass media happening of the real event and the fictionalized movie  i would definitely opt for the later  real murderers rarely have dialogue as witty as what buck henry has written for this movie and smart  while pretty and alluring  is no match for the cinematic charms of nicole kidman  to die for begins in a town called little hope  new hampshire  the archetypal dry and intellectually barren american suburb  the story concerns the ambitious suzanne stone and how she tackles the obstacles between her and her life long ambition of being on tv   of course  one of those little obstacles turns out to be her dull and unambitious husband larry  played by matt dillon  but  with a little imagination  some charm and raw sex appeal and a rather novel approach to junior achievement  our heroine manages to overcome the naysayers in her life  at least temporarily  kidman triumphs in the trashy role of suzanne  i have never really been all that fond of this actress but she shows a wonderful flair for comedy in this picture  her portrayal of the incredibly shallow and dumb femme fatale resonates  kidman knows a starmaking role when she sees it and she plays the consciencedeprived suzanne as the ultimate career driven  postfeminist ubertemptress from hell  she is ably abetted by wonderfully demented comic dialogue  which kidman delivers in a unselfconsciously funny way  at one point suzanne is expounding on her knowledge of world events to her future husband and sisterinlaw   you know   she knowingly exclaims   gorbachev would still be the leader of russia or whatever  if he had just had that ugly purplish thing removed from his head   her husband beams at suzannes profound knowledge of world politics and then proudly proclaims that this qualifies her to be the next barbara walters  this is very close to pop culture bashing heaven  folks  the other standout performance in the film is delivered by joaquin phoenix  he plays jimmy  a burned out teenager who becomes addicted to suzannes sexual favors  kidmans character  vapid though she is  is a sort of suave beacon of success to jimmy and his lost friends russell and lydia  winningly portrayed by casey affleck and alison folland  phoenix looks like the very embodiment of genx slackerhood  as envisioned by tabloid tv  of course   his jimmy has the dead eyes and demeanor of a kid who knows that he aint going anywhere  ever  phoenix reacts to the sexy suzanne with a sort of obsessed amazement and he makes us believe that a loser character like jimmy really would be willing to kill for someone like suzanne  someone who actually noticed him  gus van sant  drugstore cowboy  my own private idaho  direction is firstrate  he keeps the pacing in this notquitethriller snapping along  van sant rightly keeps the focus of this movie on the amoral suzanne and doesnt stop to proselytize the audience about the rightness or wrongness of her actions  van sant trusts his material and trusts his audience to get it without stopping to explain what is funny about this allamerican story  the screenplay  by buck henry  is absolutely great and includes some of the best bleakly comic lines ive heard since heathers  henrys story is a blast against the shallowness of the american media and the mindlessness of fame  yet the screenplay delivers this sharp message by focusing on just a few characters  henry ably manages to avoid diluting his story by aiming at too many targets and the result is a crisp and funny miniclassic  danny elfman did the original music for this movie and he delivers another eccentric  loopy score that strongly echoes his themes for edward scissorhands  either film score would make wonderful background music for halloween trickortreat parties  allinall  a wonderful production  well worth your seven bucks  to die for  a columbia pictures release directed by gus van sant  written by buck henry score by danny elfman starring nicole kidman  matt dillon  joachin phoenix based on the book by joyce maynard  rated r  for language and mature themes   respect the r  not for under 14s  rating  stars  go see it  
pos	i relish those rare opportunities when a talented screenwriter can make me feel like a fool  i spent the first hour of forces of nature slowly stewing over its grim attitude towards marriage  grousing to myself about its transparently planes  trains and automobiles plot machinations  and waiting for the inevitable hollywood denouement  this was a mass market romantic comedy  after all  a genre which has been taken over by teenagers and  even in its best days  worked hard to perpetuate the romance  infatuation paradigm  then marc lawrence did something wonderful  something which made the entire film click into place  he showed me a comic love story about grownups  it certainly didnt look that way from the outset  which introduces groomtobe ben holmes  ben affleck  at his bachelor party  surrounded by friends and family whooping over his  last night of freedom   ben loves his fiancee bridget  maura tierney   but the doomandgloom pronouncements of everyone around him have him questioning the meaning of this till death do you part business  then  on an illfated flight from new york to his wedding in savannah  ben meets sarah lewis  sandra bullock   a freespirited woman with a string of failed careers and relationships behind her  as transportation troubles thwart them at every turn  ben and sarah begin a threeday southward journey in which their connection grows ever stronger  ben seeing in sarah the chances hes never taken and sarah seeing in ben the stability shes never had  forces of nature gets off to a solid enough start  setting up the characters and the situations with plenty of witty dialogue  ben is an ideal role for afflecks easygoing charm  and he plays the straightlaced straight man without forced exasperation  sandra bullock  for her part  is more loose and appealing than she has been in her last halfdozen films combined  avoiding her recent habit of playing any semblance of character depth as moping  the two performances  part of a great toptobottom cast  are effective and connected from the start  yet the scripts apparent sympathy with the marital horror stories ben hears makes it difficult to enjoy the romance completely  lively and funny though it may be on a consistent basis  forces of nature leaves a bitter taste that feels like selfjustification  the kicker is that those acidic anecdotes serve exactly the opposite purpose  leading to a surprisingly emotional resolution  forces of nature isnt about a man developing a fear of commitment  its about a man learning what commitment means to him  learning that its not what he thought it was  lawrences script feints and dodges before reaching its happy ending  an ending which is happy because people make the choices that make the most sense  earlier scenes that might have felt like throwaways take on more resonance  and that bitter taste sweetens into something fresh and genuine  though one too many plot contrivances keep ben and sarah together through the film  and they do exchange the obligatory mutual character analysis of bickering screen couples  forces of nature wraps up so perfectly that youll end up remembering the humor and the simple wisdom  that is  provided youre not put off by the ridiculously busy direction of bronwen hughes  for a brisk romantic comedy  forces of nature comes loaded with some of the most overdirected scenes of the year  teetering handheld shots  whynot low or high angles  sweeping pans  occasionally the hyperreal approach works  with cinematographer elliot davis creating a world of fantasy romance  far more often  hughes refuses to let a scene be what it is  covering it with flourishes so thick you almost cant find whats underneath  a script this smart and mature deserved a more restrained director  but even hughes excesses cant spoil this unique concoction  forces of nature may restore your faith in romantic comedy as something with the power to enchant  something that can make you happy to be proved wrong when you expect a tale for and about adolescents  
pos	warning  this review contains some spoilers for the 1964 film  failsafe   if you havent seen the film yet  proceed with caution  nutshell  a relevant  intelligent  suspenseful drama  still powerful today  even after the end of the cold war    failsafe   usa  1964  drama  111 minutes screenplay by walter bernstein based on the novel by eugene burdick and harvey wheeler produced by max e  youngstein directed by sidney lumet review by jamahl epsicokhan  the most ironic aspect of nuclear war is that it doesnt have a winning side and a losing side  in a nuclear confrontation  everybody loses  and the aftereffects have devastating effects that impact the entire worldassuming the world survives  the ideaand perhaps the only real optionis to avoid war at all costs  this is the theme of sidney lumets  failsafe   a fictional drama based on the novel by eugene burdick and harvey wheeler   failsafe  takes place during the heart of the cold war  the actual film was released two years after the cuban missile crisis   when the united states and the soviet union were in static discord over an issue that can be summarized in a single word  communism  the premise centers around a combination of accidents and operation flaws  five u  s  bombers carrying nuclear warheads are ordered to set a routine course for moscow after an unidentified aircraft is spotted heading toward america  the unidentified aircraft turns out to be a commercial airliner  but a mechanical failure strikes the military base that commands the bombers  suddenly out of contact  and with standing orders to remain on course until receiving new directives  the bomber pilots cannot be recalled  and they proceed to moscow with the intention of destroying it with a nuclear strike  a great deal of  failsafe  s plot follows various characters as they attempt to devise ways of stopping the u  s  bombers from reaching russias bordersat any cost  the plot is compelling  and the story creates urgency and dread by painting the grimmest of worst case scenarios  the reality sets in quickly as one attempt to turn the bombers after another fails  general bogan  frank overton   taking orders directly from the president of the united states himself  henry fonda   is powerlessthe fate of the world lies in the hands of an automated  preprogrammed system that may not be stoppable  simply because the creators of the war machines were too efficient in their task to make a nowin situation winnable  the events in  failsafe  are fascinating because theyre anything but predictable  but the real reason  failsafe  works is because it understands more about nuclear war than what exists within the confines of its plot  a key ingredient to the film is its ability to create an ongoing polemic about nuclear war  communism  the cold war  and the united states role in all of it  most of this is through the films use of the character groeteschele  walter matthau   an arrogant civilian theorist of nuclear weapons use who  incidentally  is on the presidents advising staff for analyzing the statistical plausibility of waging a nuclear war  many of the films most pointed messages arise from discussions where groeteschele is one of the key voices  early in the film  he hosts a dinner party where he explains the importance of  strategy  in a nuclear assault to  minimize  casualties   whats the difference between 60 million and 100 million dead   a guest asks impatiently   forty million   groeteschele responds wryly  the problem with groetescheles mindset is that he  believes  nuclear combat to be a viable method of war  the only difference to him between nuclear armageddon and conventional warfare is the raw data and the casualty totals  groeteschele realizes that these weapons can destroy the world several times over  yet his answer to the arms race is not to slow down and try to cool the situation off  as general black  dan oherlihy  has often recommended  on the contraryaccording to groeteschele  that would lead to russia having  more  nuclear weapons than the u  s   which would clearly put america at a disadvantage  such a stance was perhaps the central paradox and misguided practice of the arms race   failsafe  clearly sees it as one of the central issues of the cold war  and  likewise  it becomes a central theme in the film  why continue to build such machines of mass destruction while already possessing enough of them to destroy the world several times over  is it wise  is it even logical  no  not really  although  failsafe  is more about the issue of nuclear weapons than it is about the political ramifications of communism  there is a scene in the film that deals with communism in an intentionally superficial  onesided sort of way  again  this is achieved through groeteschele  who is easily the films most important character in terms of the largertheme significance  in addition to providing the central  pronuclear war  voice that the film warns against  he also makes key remarks about communists that show just how much fear and resentment people of the period were prone to when it came to communism  the context the film uses suggests that this hatred was often glib  one of groetescheles  logical  trains of thought ventures so far into fantasy theoretical prediction that its merely absurd  he labels the average marxist an  unfeeling  calculating machine  that will do whatever it takes to preserve itself  groeteschele takes it so far as to say that if the u  s  drops the warhead on moscow  the soviets will  instantly  surrender  for to retaliate would invite countermeasures that would further destroy russias home soilwhich must be preserved at all costs  groeteschele seems to forget these people are human beings with emotions  general black quickly reminds him that the soviets would attack out of revengeas any normal person would  the irony here is groetescheles own mechanical theorizing  he is so quick to judge the enemy that he doesnt even realize his own seemingly programmed thought patterns  once the film makes it evident that turning the u  s  bombers will be impossible  the question becomes what the  consequences  of destroying moscow will be  just how will the soviet unions leader react  and what can the president do to convey his best intentions   just  how  does one pass off the deaths of millions of people as an  mishap    with the help of his translator buck  larry hagman   the president negotiates at length with the soviet leader  in scenes that prove amazingly taut and powerful in their simplicity  with lumets long takes of fonda and hagman in the same frame  exchanging the dialog between the president and the soviet leader  without getting into too much detail  i will say that the compromise they ultimately reach is very costly  yet necessary and as sensible as possible under the circumstances   that is  as sensible as a nuclear  incident  can probably be   it does accomplish what it must  it avoids an allout war  something that simply isnt possible because of its alltooreal consequences  dramatically  the ending is quite powerful  and the use of oherlihys character as the symbolic  matador   providing a bookend to the film by ending the story while tying into his dream sequence from the films opening   is particularly appropriate   failsafe  is a production of a major hollywood studio  released by columbia pictures   and it has the structure of a hightension suspense thriller that one might expect from a hollywood film  nevertheless  under lumets direction and walter bernsteins intelligent adaptation of burdicks and wheelers novel  the film continues to have a lasting effect even after the events on screen have unfolded  the film often warns that the automation of war is something that may make nuclear holocaust an unintentional consequence of such mass arming  but it was the conscious  human choice to  initialize  this automatic arming that  failsafe  also finds dangerous  in retrospect  the arms race seems to be one of the most puzzling exercises in futility of the century  its just fortunate that both sides were finally able to come to their senses and slow down  rather than continuing groetescheles dangerous approach of speeding up and causing a possible meltdown  
pos	andrew lloyd webbers musicals  preferably his early work with lyricist tim rice  present a musical which is totally unlike any musical before its time  webber and rice do not subscribe to the gaity of such musicals as  oklahoma    or the slapstickness of shows like  a funny thing happened on the way to the forum   they instead tackle hot issues from our past  and view them differently  and pack them together with redundant  catchy music  as well as thoughtful lyrics  like  jesus christ superstar   which examined the rise and fall of jesus in his last days from a fame perspective  in the cool tune  superstar   a dead judas comes back from the dead to ask jesus why he didnt spread his message wider    evita  takes an inventive stance on its topic  this time being the famed wife of argentinian dictator  juan per  n  eva  who slept her way to the top and became famous chiefly because she got attention  much like the woman playing her  madonna  although i think madonna did rise to the top for her musical talent  among other things    evita  deals with the rise and fall of eva per  n  a woman who captured the heart of the nation after marrying juan  jonathan pryce   then died at the young age of 33  creating an international stir of mourning not unlike that of princess di  the two do share a bit in common  although it wasnt like di slept to  the top    webber and rice sure chose bizarre topics for their musicals  but they always have a point for doing it  here  they wish to expose her for what she is  but still show that despite all of her many drawbacks  her lying  and covering up for her fascist husband  but show that she was still a good woman with fairly good intentions  and her death was very sad  its also a musical  with almost no words not unsung  the film plays like a rock opera  much like their  jesus christ superstar   with many giant musical sequences just like the old musicals  even if they do possess very intelligent lyrics  which create not only an intellectually enlightening experience  but also a very entertaining one  after all  this is a musical  and webbers musicals never undermine this  they are a balance of energy and intellectual depth  walking on a fine line between the both  and never stumbling on either side  this is why the beginning of  evita  is kind of a letdown  okay  it is a letdown  im not saying the opening moments are bad  because theyre pretty good  but what comes after is a lifeless  unentertaining  and totally unrewarding sequence where she cons a singer  jimmy nail  into taking eva to buenos aires after a onenight stand  in the musical  its a fun  energetic sequence  culiminating in the show stopper   buenos aires   which is also lifeless  then a punch is pulled as we see eva being screwed over by the singer  instead of her leaving him  where she ends up singing the sad tune   another suitcase in another hall   which was meant for a later character  screwed over by eva  the portrayal of eva in the beginning is too soft  seeming like parker and oliver stone  who adapted it for the screen  are afraid to present her for what she is  even while its being narrated by a hater of evas  the omnipotent  antonio banderas   who presents her in a negative light  for a while  it looks like alan parker cant pull it off  however  the film pulls itself together in a flash  and after that song is over  and the giddily nihilistic song  goodbye and thank you   where we see eva go through a long line of lovers who help her ascend  is magnificent  darkly comical  and just gleeful  from this point on  the film is hypnotic  satisfying  and satirical  no more punches are thrown  and the basic outline of the original musical are in tact  we see eva woo and marry juan  get him out of jail  rise to stardom  falter a bit  come back  and then gradually die of cancer  i think it was because of cancer   more importantly  many of the themes from the musical carry on with this  as well as some fillinginthegaps reconnassaince work  juan  who is pretty underwritten in the musical  is given some extra scenes  and exposed as what he was for eva  an accessory  a muted scene where he tries to visit her respective room but is shunned allows us to learn more about juan  and understand his sadness more than we did before  from the  goodbye and thank you  number on  the film shows eva trying to cover up for the horrible government by doing cheap and petty things which wooed a nation  and saved a government  even while it left the nations people downtrodden  but despite this  the nation still loved eva  and when she slipped into death  the world mourned her because she was a star  thats when our narrator  ch   comes out to show that she wasnt the great woman she really was  and expose her fame  describing this character is difficult  mainly because he has no real realistic background  hes said to be based on the revolutionary ch  guevera  but the two probably could have never met  like they do in the film   but he serves as a perspective on eva  but even his perspective cant help us from feeling bad when eva dies a pathetic death  alan parker  no stranger to bizarre musicals  hes done  fame    the committments    bugsy malone   and  pink floyd the wall   the latter which is absolutely brilliant   nails the film  exposing everything for what it is  we cry for evita at the end because we feel we should  by the way it is presented  his direction is manipulative for a reason  to show the mourning for what it is  and there is energy throughout  with lots of bright colors  and scenes which are cinematically entertaning  as well as enriching and deep  such as the balcony scene where she sings  dont cry for me  argentina   and her death sequence  which is poignant becuase of how sad it is  madonnas golden globe winning performance is much like the movie  starts kinda downhill then goes up quickly  remaning there for the rest of the film  at the beginning  she looks like shes too busy concentrating on her singing to act  but she eventually gets it right  though never really getting the presence of  say  patti lupone  who did the role in its american premiere back in the late 70s   her death  though  is brilliant  her singing could be better though  i know she took lessons to improve her range and all  but it still sounds like shes trying to hard  she sounds way too soft in several places where she should be comanding  like    patti lupone  i heard her sing on an old  evita  cd  and you could just feel her stage presence without even seeing her   but its generally very good  although not up to the brilliance the role really requires  antonio banderas  who is almost like a guilty pleasure these days  im one of the few people who thinks he rocks   is extremely comanding in his performance  presenting a lovable narrator  his singing is very good  though nothing compared to the original  mandy patinkin  he does have a pretty good singing voice  and a great range  and jonathan pryce is pretty awesome  although very brief at times  in his role as juan  seeming to put on a poker face for his melancholy facade  although it gets off to a rocky start   rocky  s polite for what it really is   it soon picks up and becomes a wonderully poignant musical  like the other musical released in 96  woody allens  everyone says i love you    its a reminder that the hollywood musical may be dead  but it can come back every now and then for a brief performance  
pos	theres more to a quilt than fabric and threadeach patchwork design has its own unique story  or stories  to tell  in how to make an american quilt  the first hollywood release from australian director jocelyn moorhouse  proof   we come to understand how the tales of the seven makers imbue their creation with passion and vitality  all the sorrows  joys  longings  sufferings  and loves of these women are sewn into their quilt and  as their bittersweet memories are given expression  one young woman applies these lessons of the past to her own uncertain future  motion pictures are filled with male bonding rituals  how to make an american quilt presents a distinctly feminine alternative  the  quilting bee  consists of seven members  sisters gladys  ann bancroft  and hy  ellen burstyn   sophia  lois smith   a woman known for frightening children  emma  jean simmons   the timid wife of a perpetually unfaithful man  constance  kate nelligan   who has been having an affair with emmas husband  anna  maya angelou   the leader of the group  and marianna  alfre woodard   annas daughter  the project theyre busy with is the wedding quilt for hys granddaughter  finn  winona ryder   who has just become engaged  shes spending the summer with hy and gladys  and away from her fiance  to decide whether a lifelong commitment is really what she wants  and whether its better to marry a friend or a lover  one of the greatest pleasures of how to make an american quilt comes from watching an array of fine performances by an impressive ensemble cast  from winona ryder  ann bancroft  ellen burstyn  and maya angelou to minor players like rip torn  claire danes  and kate capshaw  this film is overflowing with realized talent  the performances are good enough  in fact  to cover up many of the scripts weaknesses  how to make an american quilt is basically an unremarkable  if affecting  tale of love across the generationsa sort of truncated american version of the joy luck club  with a dash of fried green tomatoes added  there are probably too many characters  so  instead of really getting to know a few of them  we are presented with quick glimpses into a single defining event in each of their lives  we learn about the root of the smoldering resentment between gladys and hy  and are told the reasons why emma stays with her husband and sophia is so irascible  there are other episodes as well  the love of annas life  mariannas soul mate  and a look at the reasons why constance entered into an affair with her friends husband  the sum total of these tales is meant to provide the framework for finns story  whether to go forward with her marriage or dally with a hunky stranger  there is no emotional epiphany in how to make an american quilt  the stories are all welltold  but its difficult to really connect with the characterstheir moments pass so quickly  while we certainly feel something for each of the eight principals  our emotional investment is tenuous  there isnt enough depth to pull the viewer in all the way  and many of the personalities and relationships feel half formed  like a quilt with patches missing  to put it bluntly  while i enjoyed watching this film  it didnt  do much  for me  on the whole  how to make an american quilt is a nicelyunderstated drama that has a lot to say about love  passion  and monogamy in relationships  finns segment is by far the most compelling  because shes the focal point  her actions are shaped by everyone elses experiences  the other patches of this american quilt are successful only to varying degrees  if theres a disappointment here  its that the script doesnt have more resonance  but the privilege of seeing such a fine cast in top form allows a viewer to enjoy this picture even if the story is somewhat conventional  
pos	mimi leder is probably best known for her stunning work as a director of the hit tvshow er  her mast famous episode   loves labour lost   dealt with the ordeal of doctor mark greene as he tried his best to save the life of a pregnant mother and her child  the way she moved the camera and created tension throughout every scene was amazing  there was more excitement and adrenaline rushed suspense than just about any of hollywoods big blockbuster movies  so its only natural that leder would get to direct her very own hollywood blockbuster  and i have to say  after a shaky beginning  she does not disappoint  peacemaker deals with the theft of nuclear weapons by terrorists  which is obviously nothing new  the first half hour goes into detail  way too much detail  about how the weapons are stolen  despite a few good images  including a train collision and a very impressive explosion  none of this was very coherent  its long and drawn out  and i would have settled with a more implausible beginning that would have moved the story along better  once george clooney and nicole kidman enter the picture  it begins to take off  george clooney is an air force colonel with connections all over the world  he has a nice sarcastic wit and the rough edges that you expect from most clooney characters  nicole kidman is head of a white house team on weapons smuggling  there is the usual flirtatious banter between the two  but that is dispensed with quickly  the story takes clooney and kidman across the globe  trying to figure out who has the weapons and where they are going with them  clooney goes through bouts of sarcasm  frustration  determination  and revenge while kidman works against her own insecurity and selfdoubt  this is when leder starts to show her true stuff  she starts us off with a nifty little car chase as an appetizer  then we get clooney doing heroics in and out of a helicopter  then that leads us to the brilliant final showdown on new york citys crowded streets  and a madman with a nuke walking among them  mimi leder is a natural at creating suspense  she reminds me of wolfgang petersen in her ability to make the most routine action sequences exciting and breathtaking  nicole kidman is an intelligent female action hero  youre not gonna find her falling down so clooney can come back to save her  george clooney is a real movie star  many of you may have hated him as batman  but this guy is for real  he has a natural screen presence  and an ingratiating personality  hell be around for a while  dreamworks is off to a satisfying start with peacemaker  
pos	i have to say it  tim burtons retelling of planet of the apes is more fun than a barrel of monkeys  ok  thats off my chest  no more monkey puns  i promise  seriously  though  planet of the apes is one riproarin summer outing  filled with thrills  action  adventure  wit and bits of funny  dare i say  monkey  business  i know  i know  i promised  and for those film buffs who are fond of the original  burtons version includes a couple tips of the hat to that movie  mark wahlberg stars as capt  leo davidson  a deepspace pilot whose ship gets drawn into a magnetic field and hurled into the future  he crash lands on a planet where apes are the dominant species and humans are hunted  captured and sold into slavery  despite being darker than the original  burtons film is not as heavy handed nor as sanctimonious  some of the movies flashes of humor are surreal as well as typically burton  an organgrinder ape with a midget or an elderly ape taking off a wig and removing false teeth as he prepares for bed  then there are the parents who buy a little girl as a pet for there young daughter  the seller advises the parents to get rid of the girl before she reaches puberty   one thing you dont want in your house is a human teenager   he says  you dont have to be an ape to realize the truth in that statement  touches such as these are what stamps this movie with burtons brand  lines that hearken back to the original movie are sprinkled throughout  the first words spoken by an ape to davidson as the astronaut is regaining consciousness and grabs the simians foot to try righting himself are   take your stinking hand off of me  you damned  dirty human   anyone familiar with the first version of the film will  of course  recognize the irony in that piece of dialogue  another of burtons injokes is to have charlton heston  star of the original  play the chimpanzee father of tim roths gen  thade  the young chimp goes to visit his dying father  both have one thing in common  a hatred of humans  with his dying breath  the elder spews out his vile   damn them  damn them all to hell   he says before expiring  that is the famous line hestons taylor shouted at the conclusion of the original after discovering the planets terrible secret  the performances throughout are topnotch  wahlberg plays davidson not as some gungho hero  but as a confused and somewhat frightened explorer who only wants to return home  he is reluctant to lead the human rebellion  his only objective being to find a way off this upsidedown planet  this hesitation is what makes his character believable and vulnerable  roth is ferocious  cunning  cruel and savage as the fascist chimp who wants to rid his planet of all vestiges of humanity  he leaps and bounds as if he had springs on his feet  it is a masterful turn  helena bonham carter is ari  the chimp who believes that apes and humans can live in peace and as equals  hers is a smart  compassionate characterization  michael clarke duncan is big and brutal as attar the gorilla aid to thade who blindly follows his leader until his faith is shaken  a fine comic outing is given by paul giamatti as limbo  the ape slave trader making a living off the misery of the humans he captures  as the battle between apes and humans looms  the cowardly limbo pleads   cant we all just get along   echoing the words of rodney king  much of the success of planet of the apes goes to burtons technical crew  especially production designer rick heinrichs and the legendary rick baker who created the ape makeup  burtons musical collaborator  danny elfman  provides another fine score  though it is not as memorable as his work on batman or sleepy hollow  the movies only letdown comes at the very end where burton tries to outshock the finale from the 1968 original  he comes close  but falls short  otherwise  planet of the apes is what a summer movie should be  an amusement park ride filled with lots of action  stunts and a few laughs  this is one feature in which the expectations lived up to the prerelease hype  
pos	urban legend surprised me  based on the last few films the genre has produced  including but not exclusive to the likes of i know what you did last summer  disturbing behavior and the disappointing halloween  h20   i was positive that i was in store for another mildly entertaining but silly and ultimately boring rehash of the scream phenomena  thankfully  legend rose above its soggy premise to become not only a hip  scary and stylish entertainment  but also what will probably become one of the best films of the year  youre all familiar with the plot  a bunch of overly horny teenagers get systematically slaughtered by a masked maniac whos identity is not revealed until the closing moments of the film when it turns out to be  you guessed it  everybodys favorite veteran of the whodunit flicks    the only person you didnt suspect  however  just because legend doesnt really break any new ground as far as literary or even technical achievements go does not mean that it cant qualify as firstclass entertainment  it was  believe it or not  one of the funnest times ive had at the movies all year  the thing is  im not really sure what made this particular stab  pardon the pun  at the genre seem so fresh and alive  maybe it was the abovepar performances by the movies two leads  jared leto and  cybil  actress alicia witt   or  it could have been the on target direction by jamie blanks  more likely  though  it was because of the inspired premise  i dont think i need to tell you that a killer hacking people up ala urban folklore is much more frightening than a killer fisherman  urban legend begins with a sequence that reminded me of the classic scream opener  not so much in plotting as in attention to detail that makes for an absolutely chilling teaser for the rest of the film  a pretty young coed is driving down a deserted road when  gasp   a gas problem  heehee  forces her to stop at an equally deserted gas station for a refill  one problem  though  would you want to stop at a station run by brad dourif  i thought not  predictably  the attendant ends up coaxing her into the main building to sort out a problem with the credit card company  its odd  though  when you pick up a phone to realize that nobodys on the other line  naturally  the potential victim escapes into her car and drives off  and the when we least expect it    whack    a decapitation  it turns out that the creepy looking attendant was just trying to warn her about the maniac in the back seat of the car  so who is it this time  the obvious candidate is the slightly offkilter professor at the college the girl went to  none other than freddy kruger himself  robert englund   who teaches a class on urban legends  aha  or could it be the famehungry local journalist  leto  looking for a meaty story to put on his resume  like all movies of this nature  one of the chief pleasures is trying to guess whodunit  and it turns out to be  of course  the one you didnt suspect  im not going to pretend urban legend is anything more than it is  but i must give credit where credit is due  and this flick definitely deserves credit for being what not many other recent horror films have been    fun   complimentary movie ticket courtesy of valley cinemas in lodi  ca 
pos	capsule  the verma family is having a wedding and all the relatives will come for the multiday festivities  mira nairs film is pleasant enough with a little human drama  a few family secrets  some sadness and some happiness  you have seen it all before  but perhaps not from india  the photography is colorful and the music is very agreeable   low 2  4 to 4  mira nair previously directed salaam bombay and mississippi masala  her newest film  written by sabrina dhawan  is very similar to previous films like betsys wedding but it is set in new delhi  a wealthy family is having a wedding  an indian wedding is a multiday affair as much a family reunion as a nuptial  even more than in the us  it is an excuse for a lavish and extravagant family gettogether  the film shows us what the family does together and at the same time follows several family members individual story lines  aditi verma is marrying hemant  an indian engineer working in the us  she had previously had a relationship with vikram  her supervisor  latit  her father  played by naseeruddin shah   is juggling many problems  not the least of which is worrying about the caterer has hired pk dubey  dubey is a rather eccentric man with a taste for eating the marigolds he uses for decoration  even dubey will soon be romantically entangled when he becomes interested in alice  one of the family servants  several family members arrive giving rise to several plotlines involving sex  family secrets  or both  there are heartbreaks and there are people falling in love  some of the subjects covered are probably near taboo for indian films  western audiences will appreciate a look at unfamiliar indian customs like women painting their hands with henna  on the other hand it was not clear  to me at least  if scenes like the family singing together are typical of indian culture or if they are a convention of indian musical films  this seems a particularly westernized family with the father wearing american designer sweaters and the family speaking mostly english  the latter will  however  help with an international release  sabrina dhawans screenplay is vibrant with witty dialog  we have seen films with plotting very much like this  but the indian setting makes a great deal of difference  director mira nair calls the film an affirmation of life  i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  
pos	the love for family is one of the strongest driving forces in any mans life  especially for those who have fostered their family under precarious circumstances  thematically in cinema  love for family has been used frequently and emphatically to highlight more abstract aspects of characters  it is rare  however  for it to develop as outstandingly as it does in roberto benignis neoclassic drama  life is beautiful  through a central cast of father  mother  and son  benigni demonstrates the wonderful  undying love that a family shares in the best of times and the worst of times  life  is  beautiful for guido orefice  roberto benigni  directing himself here for the sixth time in his career   an italian jew  master con man  and aspiring waiter extraordinaire  living in 1930s italy  he lives a carefree life of good fortune  it is made even better when he happens upon a pretty schoolteacher named dora  nicoletta braschi   although dora is already engaged  guido manages to sweep her off her feet and persuades her to marry him instead  the two have a child named joshua  giorgio cantarini   unfortunately for the happy family  the third reich and its nazi minions occupy italy and imprison all jews in work camps  it is after the movie takes this dramatic turn that the movies theme of family love becomes the strongest  although prior to this turning point benigni plays guido with a sort of goofy charm  he relaxes the role to ensure his sons happiness  now  instead of awkwardly seducing the sweet dora  he constantly reassures his son that everything will be all right  benignis performance is truly a wellrounded one  and certainly one of the more fluid turns all year  the supports are all strong as well  but the movie truly excels in its script  life is beautiful is a selfproclaimed fable  one which tells its story in grand  twopart fashion  in certain parts it manages to sink to the level of a  saturday night live  spinoff  a number of humorous skits connected by a token plot  but in the movies second half the scripts circular nature becomes admirably obvious  characters make reprise appearances in fine form  and certain events which are intially curious become critically linked to the plots outcome  in all  fans of foreign film will see this as a memorable motion picture  and novice moviewatchers may take this opportunity to see their first  artsy  film  life is beautiful is an artsy movie by convention but easily accessible to everyone  and above all is a fine thematic picture  
pos	while watching wes andersons rushmore  it may be surprising to think that the role of max fischer  the films antihero  was not written with jason schwartzman in mind  the young actor  making his film debut as a 15 year old student at the exclusive rushmore academy is so perfect in the role that it comes as a shock that anderson auditioned some two thousand other prospective stars before discovering schwarztman  schwartzman plays max  a student who is more interested in his extracurricular activities  such as writing edgy plays like  serpico  and being president of the rushmore beekeepers  but sees his grades suffer as a result  on the brink of being thrown out  he lands himself in even more hot water when he falls for first grade teacher rosemary cross  olivia williams  and enlists the help of millionaire acquaintance herman blume  the great bill murray  to build an aquarium  on rushmores baseball field  in her honour  unfortunately for everyone involved  blume finds that he has feelings for miss cross as well  which gets in the way of maxs plans to woo her  max is one of the bestwritten characters weve yet seen in the 90s  and schwartzman plays him to perfection in one of the finest comedy performances ever given by someone of his age  as everyone else has probably already pointed out  he is reminiscent of a young dustin hoffman  although i was reminded more of paul from  the wonder years   from a visual standpoint  at least   hopefully  if he avoids typecasting as weird  quirky lonertypes he should earn himself a good career  bill murray is his equal as blume  displaying a depth we havent yet seen from him  while this isnt his best performance  that honour goes to groundhog day  he is still terrific here  williams isnt given much to do except react to schwartzman and murray  but still does fine work  rushmore seems to go just a little too long but  while it isnt a perfect film  it is a definate mustsee for anyone who wants to see that rarity  an american comingofage film that actually works well without an excessive amount of sentimentality  anderson has created a modern classic with a star who should  with any luck  rise to even greater success  
pos	no  i did not read the novel by thomas hardy   jude the obscure   his final novel  final because this film created such an outrage that he never wrote again  see  i did do some research on it  about a man who is plagued with bad luck throughout his entire life  but  after watching the movie  i can imagine how incredibly depressing it is   jude  is a satirical film from start to finish about societys way of spitting out and chewing up those unwanted in its system  but whats remarkable is how timeless this film is  the film takes place in the late 19th century  or early 20th  wasnt really sure   but its story could even be retold today in modern form  although itd be kinda different  a given   it tells the story of jude  christopher eccleston  the psychotic accountant from  shallow grave    a simple  dimwitted young man with big dreams  in its bleak  foreboding opening  shot in grainy black and white  he gets a lesson from phillotson  liam cunningham   his teacher  as they stand upon a mountain  looking upon a city in the distance  he says all you have to do is work hard and you can have anything in the world  after marrying and divorcing an immature woman named arabella  rachel griffiths  because they frolicked in the hay  literally  but did not ultimately share anything in common  he moves away to a town with a giant university  with a chance to learn more  and get ahead in life  taking a welding job  he works hard while studying constantly for his college bars  reciting latin over and over again  and training himself  but when he sends his application for the school in  he is bluntly told to just remain a worker  another reason for going to this town was because someone in his family lives there  sue  kate winslet   his cousin and a very intelligent but kinda mischevious young woman who wants to be a school teacher  she and jude click eventually and become very endearing friends  so much that when she spends the night at his flat after running from her apprentice teacher job  for none other than phillotson at the local school   there are rumors that she and jude did some nasty business  nudge nudge   several twists turn in the storyline  and eventually jude and sue do do some nasty business  an interesting scene  to say the least      and are soon born into a controversial nonwedlock  as she eventually gives birth to their baby  and jude inherits his son from arabella  who turns up again after awhile  because they arent married  and because theyre cousins  they run into problems with every place they go to  carrying around two children everywhere  and only staying in lodges for a very brief period of time  then moving on  if you didnt think this was harsh enough  wait till you see what happens later on    the sad truth is that jude is one of the miserable people who can never get any luck in this world  he will never gain any true happiness  and any happiness that happens to him will be fleeting  and will probably bring more horrible instances to his life  part of it is his fault  hes too optimistic  and too gullible  but society has a way of taking these people  and hurting them until their death  the ending of  jude  is bleak because it has to be  although i hear the ending of the novel is even worse  guess ill have to read it now    jude  offers a satirical view on societys cruelties  but shows no way of curing this  and thank heavens it doesnt  theres no way to relinquish the selfishness of society  and any solution would be too small to cure such a mass problem  satire has always been one of the few ways of changing certain peoples minds  and thats what  jude  is  sure  its one hell of a downer  but it needs to be  the film also posesses two fantastic performances from its two leads  and some good supporting work along with it  christopher eccleston  slightly resembling richard edson with his new look and dumb expression  plays jude wonderfully  sometimes bringing a big dumb smile to his face  and making him kind of childlike at other times  kate winslet  in a pre  titanic  performance  is brilliant  nailing every psyche of her character  and creating someone whos troubled but very seductive with her personality  kate may be the best actress in her age group  if you dont believe me  see  titanic   branaghs  hamlet    sense and sensibility   and  heavenly creatures   the latter one being my favorite performance of hers   in the supporting roles  liam cunningham is a wonderfully flawed teacher  exposing all his bad parts  but ultimately being a pretty good person  and rachel griffiths is wonderfully immature as judes wife  whom he never divorces   jude  moves at a very slow pace  and keeps taunting its viewers with chances of happiness for its protagonists  which would drive some people nuts  but those who appreciate good social commentary with their films  no matter how slow or downright depressing they are  this one is both  will appreciate  jude   though i doubt anyone truly enjoys it  
pos	quaid stars as a man who has taken up the proffesion of dragonslayer after he feels he is betrayed by a dragon early in the movie  he runs into the last dragon in existence  and there is a genuinely amusing battle between the two which results in a standoff where quaid is in the dragons mouth  but has his sword pointed at the dragons brain  eventually  they decide to call a truce  and they work out a deal  since he is the last dragon  he will pretend to die and quaid will be able to get paid for it  their scam works at first  until they come to a town without any money  instead the town sacrifices a girl to the dragon  but of course  draco is a nice droagon  so he wont eat her  there is however a very amusing scene where draco is hitting on the young girl  of course  as you can probably tell by the plot  this is a silly movie  but it does know when to take itself seriously at the right times  unlike eddie  which was serious all the time  you could probably call this a medieval comedy  because there are more laughs here than in eddie and spy hard combined  dennis quaid makes a fine hero  pete posthlewaite provides some ghreat comedy as a monk who journeys with them  dina meyer is appealing as the sacrificed girl  but lets face it  the movie is really about the dragon  and what an amazing creation he is  connerys voice and ilm team up to provide us with a truly magnificent dragon  so  if you are going to see this movie for a strong hard core medieval epic  you are going to the wrong movie  if you are going because of the dragon  you will not be dissapointed  and you will be provided with plenty of laughs that smooth out the boring parts in the script  
pos	it has been 20 years since a terrence malick film hit theaters  his new film  the thin red line  is a strange  beautiful  enigmatic mess of a movie  the first thing that jumps out to one when they see the advertisements for this film is the huge cast  it is filled with abovethetitle stars  the cast  for the most part  gives great performances  john travolta  whose role is nothing more than a cameo  seems not to have attacked his performance with that much verve  george clooney  whose role became a cameo in editing  gives a strange performance  one wonders if he knew that his performance would become the object of ridicule through a characters narration  the rest of the cast  especially nick nolte and elias koteas  are unambiguously fantastic  these actors  and they are  with two exceptions  men  were lured by the name of malick  terrence malick is a cinematic legend  he has often been called  the j  d  salinger of cinema   his two previous films  badlands and days of heaven  are spectacularly beautiful and obscure motion pictures  after he made them  he disappeared for 20 years  this film marks his return  what hes made with the thin red line is a film that seems less concerned with plot than with the emotion of the moment  the narration which fills the film  and perplexes many  not only lets us hear the narrators  the characters themselves  pontificate  but also lets us hear such ofthemoment thoughts as  im scared   the rather simple plot of the thin red line is used as a canvas on which many stories are painted  the plot couldly simply be boiled down to an assault on a hill  a plot synopsis for the thin red line is difficult  because the story is fractured  many stories are here  from the clash between the lieutenant  elias koteas  and the savage colonel  a voracious nick nolte  to the private  ben chaplin  who uses his love for the woman he left behind to keep him going  the fracturing of the story is ultimately a fault  it is as if an artist spent an incredible amount of time artfully sculpting tiny statues and then threw them into a box  shook the box  and poured the results onto a table  this basically creates a mess  but the stories can be discerned and enjoyed  im not declaring that the film has no structure  while saving private ryan used warfare to bookend the plot  malick uses reflection and glorious shots of nature to bookend about 90 minutes of combat  the battles in the thin red line are astonishing and display a mastery of filmmaking  the astounding cinematography in this film must also be given notice  this film uses color and light in such a fantastic way  that it will be sad to see it degraded when it has to bee transferred to video  ultimately  malick has crafted a film that is a movie that enjoys looking through the treetops more than regarding the war that rages below them  the film is filled with nature photography and the regarding of nature  while some have said that the antiwar message and pronature tubthumping was juvenile  it was done with so much complexity and thought  that it cannot ever honestly be called childish  after seeing the thin red line  i was haunted by it and am quite ready to see it again  
pos	 stuart little  is one of the best family films to come out this year  its a cute  funny and very goodnatured film that has nothing for parents to squirm over except a few mild cusswords  though i read the book a long time ago and i really do not remember what it was about  i do know that this film does not disappoint  finally a movie gets released that is as good as the trailer makes it to be  with a few surprising twists  some very funny moments  and a few sentimental moments all mixed in to one great little movie  stuart little is a mouse  he has finally gotten a new home after being put up for adoption  he now lives with the littles  a nice little  no pun intended  family that lives in their apartment next to central park in new york city  they have a little boy george  played by the adorable jonathan lipnicki  and now they have a new son  at first stuart takes a while but he finally adjusts to being part of the family and even getting along with the pet cat  george doesnt take too well to having a mouse for a brother at first  but once the two play together they instantly bond  stuart however is missing something  and he wants to know who his real parents are  the littles try and find his parents and one day they show up on the doorstep wanting stuart back  hesitating the littles know whats best for stuart and so does snowball the pet cat  he and his friends try to get stuart but in the end we find out the truth about stuarts past ending up to a sentimental and very heartwarming ending  one thing i noticed about the film instantly was the fantastic special effects  just like in  star wars  episode 1the phantom menace  stuart little and his family are all computer generated and they look fantastically real  from the detail of their fur  to the detail of the way the walk  the special effects team put a lot of time and effort on this 90 million dollar film and it shows  another movie that this has in common with is  babe  with its talking animals and people understanding them  it has a family friendly atmosphere and is never really scary or suspenseful enough to even scare the youngest of kids  michael j  fox does the voice of stuart himself and just like in the  homeward bound  movies does a fantastic job and brings more out of stuart than anyone else could  he to me fits the character perfectly and ends up making stuart even more lovable  another gem of the film is nathan lane as snowball  when he was timon in 1994s  the lion king  i would have sworn he was a comedian  and now in  stuart little  he brings the most out of snowball and makes him one of those characters we love to dislike  for the human actors geena davis who never gives a bad performance does not disappoint here as well  she fits nicely in her character and there is a good chemistry between her and hugh laurie who plays mr  little  both make us believe they are happily in love and married and jonathan lipnicki as their song is even more adorable than he was in 1996s  jerry maguire   even though stuart little is completely cgi  the human characters and stuart have a nice chemistry together and even makes us believe they really do care for each other   stuart little  is ideal family entertainment for this holiday season and will not disappoint youngsters or adults for that matter  we get entertainment  laughs  cries and more fun at the movies this season than probably any other movie  its nice to see a pg rated movie out at christmas that everyone can see  even though it has a 90 million dollar budget im sure it will make over that or just below it respectively  for all you parents out there trying to find a good family movie  i have yet to see bicentennial man as i write this but as far as i know  stuart little  and  toy story 2  are by far the best family films this year  a winner   
pos	as with his other stateside releases  jackie chans latest chopsocky vehicle  mr  nice guy  is contrived  blockheaded  and lacking in narrative logic  but also like those other films  it is a highly enjoyable ride  once again  chans screenwriters  here edward tang and fibe ma  have taken the easy way out and named their stars character simply jackie  with no last name  this jackie is a worldclass chef who cohosts a popular cooking show on australian television  of course  jackie also happens to be a talented martial artist  and these skills come in handy when he becomes involved in an ambitious reporters  gabrielle fitzpatrick  expose of a drug dealing ring  other plot details  involving a videotape and a biker gang  are irrelevant  in fact  as is the case with most chan films  the plot itself is just about irrelevant  the sole purpose of mr  nice guys existence are chans comic fight scenes  and those here do not disappoint  director samo hung  who has a cameo role   a longtime collaborator of chans  does not waste any time putting chan in action  diving headon into a wild chasefightshootout after a brief cooking show prologue  other impressive set pieces follow  most notably a chase in a mall  which directly leads to some frenzied  if cliched  can you say fruit cart    business involving a runaway carriage  and an extended latefilm sequence at a construction site  in which a hilarious pursuit through a maze of blue doors culminates in some exciting fights involving boards  cement mixers  and a deadly buzzsaw  none of the action sequences in mr  nice guy are as spectacular as supercops thrilling helicoptertrain finale or rumble in the bronxs daring leap between two buildings  nor is anything as inventive as the ladder fight or air tunnel climax in first strike and operation condor  respectively  but the action delivers  even if the energy peters out before the films end  the finale  as spectacular as it is  is a letdown for fans of chans athletic prowess   filmed almost entirely in english  even so  the voices of some englishspeaking actors are laughably dubbed   mr  nice guy hints at jackie chans latest transition to hollywood productions  he made illfated attempts with 1980s the big brawl and 1985s the protector   next in the pipeline is rush hour  a stateside production costarring chris tucker  hopefully that film will be a mere diversion in tinseltown  and chan will continue with exuberant hong kong productions such as mr  nice guy  for his unique charm and reckless abandon are sure to be diluted by american hands  much like they have been before  
pos	the premise of wag the dog is so simple that its adequately explained by the commercials  with 11 days to go until the election  the president  who we never see  calls in political dirtytricks artist robert deniro to distract attention from a burgeoning sex scandal  deniro enlists hollywood producer dustin hoffman to produce a  pageant   a phony war against albania  fought on the blue screens of hollywood and the recording studios of nashville  with woody harrelson as the reluctant  psychotic hero  and if there wasnt anything more to the movie than this  it would be a secondrate heist comedy at best  enlivened by great actors  like sneakers goes to washington   a heist comedy  yup  deniro and hoffman are  stealing  the election  so to speak  and the movie is more about how they do it  and the fun they have doing it  than anything else   wag the dog succeeds because its based one great truth  the american people are stupid  ok  maybe its not  love thy neighbor as thyself  or even  two plus two makes four   but a truth nonetheless   any average person who thinks that theyre really smart about the two things this movie satirizes  moviemaking and the political process  is invited  nay  challenged  to spend a week either watching a movie actually being made or 48 hours straight watching cspan when the house is in session   and because were so utterly  predictably stupid  hollywood knows that a certain percentage of us will go see hard rain or magoo  washington knows that we wont notice a few million dollars spent here and there on porno art grants and cigar subsidies  and deniros character knows that american geography skills are so weak that we wont be able to locate albania on the map  the beauty of wag the dog is that it isnt a light  meaningless comedy about politics  like speechless  the michael keaton  geena davis picture  or from the level of lighthearted politcal satire to neargreatness  nor is it a hardedged cynical look at the manner in which a morallydeprived  ethically challenged babyboomer connives his sleazy way into the white house  like primary colors  and yes  i am a little disappointed in the way the last two elections turned out  thanks for asking   instead  david mamets script strikes that delicate balance between comedy and cynicism needed for satire  it does this by keeping us in a fantasy world where most of the schemers schemes come off beautifully  and fail only in entertaining and humorous fashion  deniro is playing a variation on his al capone character from the untouchables  without any of the violent rages  its all   what do i love  what is it that brings me joy  baseball   minus the savage bloody beating with the bat  he threatens a lot of people  mind you  but hes doing it in a very nice  polite way  its a very mellow  restrained performance  which fits in with the air of gamesmanship in the script  hoffman  on the other hand  is giddy  exuberant and joyous  this kind of thing is what his character lives for  and hes so excited that he cant even shut up  even on the edge of disaster  hes brighteyed  behind oddly tinted sunglasses  and positive  insiders note that hes basing his character on some powerfulbutanonymous producer  which may or may not be true  but hoffman still exudes the kind of letsputonashow electricity that you figure a producer needs to have  the best part and the most frustrating part of wag the dog is in the supporting cast  the characters are so well drawn and so well acted that we want to see more of them  listen to them talk in that wisedup mamet dialogue  get to know them better  which we dont  anne heche  is deadbangon in her portrayal of a political press aide  cool and composed on the outside  panicked and frenzied on the outside  denis leary  one of my favorite actors  see the ref  is the  fad king   who handles the profitable  backend   tshirt tie ins and shoe contracts and other creative  innovative ways to separate a fool from his money  they could make a whole movie  just about the fad king  and id go see it  willie nelson and merle haggard handle the musical end of things fabulously  from the upbeat gospel chorus theme song  to the weepy country waltz  to the hilarious  ballad of the green berets  parody  woody harrelson has a brief  but memorable part as the overmedicated  hero  of the albanian conflict  craig t  nelson  as the opposition candidate  and the everreliable william h  macy  as a wacky cia agent  are given surprisingly short shrift   one of my small gripes is that we never see what the spin doctors on the other side are doing   wag the dog is a funny movie about serious problems  the trivialization of american politics  the role of the press in dumbing down the issues  the impact of hollywood in creating campaign commercials  the reduction of all things political to soundbites and sidebars  the list goes on  we can solve most of these problems by taking a greater role in our national life and educating ourselves as voters and citizens  wag the dog reminds us of what can happen if we dont  
pos	as the film opens up  expectant unwed mother sally  played by drew barrymore  encounters her babys father in a fast food drivethrough window  after he gets his milkshake  he drives off  only to be pursued by a military helicopter  from this moment forward  you know that this isnt going to be your runofthemill romantic comedy  home fries tells the tale of the relationship between sally and dorian  played by luke wilson   a helicopter pilot who has a different kind of connection with sally    more than he would care to admit  hint  it has something to do with the father of sallys unborn child   after taking a personal  and professional  interest in her  he finds work at the local fast food restaurant at which she works  and the fun goes on from there  this movie is a lot of fun  it is comedic on two levels  as a romantic comedy and a dark comedy  the romantic moments are sweet  yet not sappy  one of the more poignant moments is when dorian accompanies sally to lamaze classes  however  the dark comedic moments are more memorable  this is also a tale of revenge  and a funny one at that  the father of sallys unborn child also happened to be a married man  whose wife is played by catherine ohara  she does a wonderful portrayal of a jealous wife who is targeting the person who had an affair  and is not above getting other people to do her dirty work   my apologies if this sounds cryptic  but there is too much of the plot to give away   rounding out the cast are jake busey as angus  dorians overzealous brother and daryl mitchell as roy  dorians trainer at the fast food restaurant  the dialogue is sharp and not filled with sappy overtones  even with the romantic nature of the plot  if there are any complaints  it is over drew barrymores performance  while she does light up the screen  there are moments when she doesnt seem all that convincing  the movie was filmed in texas  and most of the characters have southern texan accents  drew barrymores accent tends to come and go  luke wilson doesnt seem to have this problem   as well  she seems awfully agile for a woman that is eight months pregnant  still  this movie is one that will please many viewers  with plot twists galore and hilarious dark moments  this is sure to entertain  
pos	the second jackalbased film to come out in 1997  the other starring bruce willis was simply entitled the jackal   this one stars aidan quinn and donald sutherland  and is directed by a man who hailed from joblos own alma matter  concordia university in montreal  canada  the story is based on the exploits of the real terrorist known as the jackal  but does not pretend to be 100 factual  plot  naval officer ramirez  quinn  gets called upon by the cia to impersonate the international terrorist known as the jackal  in order to put an end to the actual militants radical activities  he is chosen for this role because he physically resembles the real terrorist to a tee  ramirez reluctantly agrees to take part in this  assignment   and soon finds himself wrapped up in a true web of international terrorism  intrigue and doublepersonality syndrome  which does not sit well with his uninformed wife and kids back in the states   critique  great premise is executed with enough style and thrills to keep the piece interesting throughout its close to twohour runtime  admittedly  i wasnt a huge fan of any of the main actors in this film  and didnt expect much from this movie beforehand  but surprisingly it did have its thrilling moments  as well as a mostly plausible and absorbing story line  the first hour is mostly just a buildup of things to come  and does offer a great characterization of the jackal  but the second hour is the one that really cranks in the cool scenes and a sweet ending  quinn was adequate in both roles as naval officer ramirez and the real jackal  but didnt offer anything extraordinary  in my opinion  sutherland and kingsley seem to be playing the same role that theyve played in both of their respective careers of late  but nonetheless  appeared to relish the coldheartedness of their chosen characters  i didnt like performance put forth from quinns wife in this flick  but then again  she doesnt show up in most of the film  so that wasnt so bad  i did however enjoy director duguays interesting style and cinematic vision  this thriller could easily have been boring during many sequences  but duguay always seemed to find something interesting to show the viewer  i thought that was neat  having said that  i didnt think the first hour needed to be as long as it was  and the film did have me tinkering on the bridge of believability when the  fake  jackal met with the  real  jackals girlfriend without much retrospection on her part  but all in all  not too many complaints in a movie that could easily be enjoyed by all those who take pleasure in the spy and terrorist thriller genre  little known facts  ben kingsleys real name is krishna banji  he stands 5  8  was born in scarborough  england  and won the best actor honor in 1982s academy awards presentation for the title role he portrayed in ghandi  many scenes from this film were actually shot in montreal  canada  joblos haven of restfulness   donald sutherland has fathered actor kiefer sutherland  is canadian  and apparently still owns a place in the north of montreal  
pos	one of the last entries in the longrunning carry on series  carry on behind is very similar to carry on camping in that it involves a group of holidaymakers descending on a caravan site  professors anna vrooshka  elke sommer  and roland crump  kenneth williams  and a group of archaeology students stay in the caravan site owned by major leep  kenneth connor  so that they can explore the nearby roman settlement remains  anna has a little trouble understanding english and sometimes people get the wrong end of the stick   for instance  when anna is asking for scrubbers for dirty caravan  she means that she wants a scrubbing brush to clean the caravan  arthur upmore  bernard bresslaw  and his wife linda  patsy rowlands  take her mother daphne barnes  joan sims  and her minah bird on holiday with them  motherinlaw jokes prevail  furthermore  the trouble that joe and norma baxter  ian lavender and adrienne posta  have with their large irish greyhound allows for some comical moments between the two families  fred ramsden  windsor davies  and ernie bragg  jack douglas  leave their wives  liz fraser and patricia franklin  behind for a fishing holiday  however  they have more in mind than fishing when they catch sight of two young girls  sandra  carol hawkins  and carol  sherrie hewson   the story involves the disruption caused by the archaeological professors of the daytoday running of the camp  the search for the minah bid and greyhound  the major  fred and ernies desperate need of a woman  a misunderstanding leading to a striptease at the caravan parks pub  and a shock in store for daphne  the partnership between sommer and williams is very effective and amusing  this is what binds the movie together  joan sims stands out as the demanding motherinlaw  bernard bresslaw and patsy rowlands work well together as husband and wife  and carol hawkins and sherrie hewson are a welcome addition to the cast  on the other hand  there are lowkey performances from kenneth connor and peter butterworth as barnes the handyman  and there are very poor performances by windsor davies and jack douglas who spend far too much time on the screen  even though there is no real plot to speak of and the jokes are getting bluer due to the new scriptwriter dave freeman  there are enough truly comical moments and bright and breezy performances to lift this carry on above many of its predecessors  although the regular cast is depleted  the ones that remain show that they can still make a good carry on film  a relative flop at the cinema  this movie deserves a lot more recognition  
pos	the cryptic teaser trailer has been unspooling in moviehouses for quite sometime now   it mu5t be found   so what  exactly  is the fifth element  after seeing luc bessons ambitious  muchshroudedinsecrecy science fiction fantasy  i could not help but be let down by the actual answer  which is not nearly as exciting nor clever as one would think  but what is far from a letdown is the film as a whole  a wildly imaginative feast for the senses that does what all the best science fiction films docreate a universe unlike any other presented on the silver screen  the biggest irony of the fifth element is that the one thing that has been kept under such tight wrapsthe actual storylineis the most conventional  dismayingly so  element  pun intended  of the film  speaking in the vaguest possible terms  the basics of the plot are as follows  in the year 2259  a great force of evil threatens to consume the earth  and only the four elementsearth  wind  fire  and waterunited with a fifth element can stop it  figuring into all of this are new york cabbie korben dallas  bruce willis   a shady  southerndrawling entrepreneur by the name of zorg  the hilariously hammy gary oldman  picking up where he left off in bessons the professional   a priest  ian holm   and a mysterious creature named leeloo  milla jovovich   all of the pieces come together in a tidy and somewhat underwhelmingand unsurprisingfashion  but there is no denying that this basic story holds some intrinsic interest  what remains interesting and exciting  however  after brief glimpses is the fascinating world besson has created with production designer dan weil  director of photography thierry arbogast  visual effects supervisor mark stetson  and the crew at digital domain  the look is absolutely mesmerizing right from the opening moments to the last  the frenzied cityscape of new york  with its vibrant dayglo colors  tall buildings penetrating high into the clouds  and the swarm of cars  cabs  and other vehicles flying through labyrinthian skyways  is absolutely breathtaking to behold  especially in a wild car chase sequence early on in the film  but it would not have been a completely captivating vision if the people inhabiting the settings werent equally as interesting  and are they ever  in addition to the exotic menagerie of alien creatures that populate this world  from bulky robots to doglike mangalores  the humans are outfitted in costumes by eccentric designer jeanpaul gaulthier  best known for creating madonnas pointy bustier getup in her blonde ambition tour  gaulthiers outlandish creations  such as a number worn by leeloo made entirely out of white straps  feel more at home in bessons futuristic vision than on any fashion runway in the world  they add to the sense of otherworldliness about the film  while bessons bold vision is the biggest virtue of the film  it also could be its biggest obstacle to reaching a mass audience  for all its imagination  certain things about the film may be a bit too quirky and bizarre  i really do not know what middle america will make of the most outrageous character of the film  ruby rhod  chris tucker   a flamboyant disc jockey who makes dennis rodman look conservativehe makes a raucous entrance dressed in an animal print dress  sporting a blonde hairdo in the shape of a hair dryer  speaking in high pitches at rapid fire speed  at first this characters hyper energy is funny  but the act wears out its welcome very quickly  not irritating  but just as strange  is a musical number by blueskinned alien chanteuse diva  maiwenn lebesco   who singsand dancesan aria that is an unlikely blend of classical opera and techno  the tune  as with the entirety of longtime besson collaborator eric serras innovative score  is haunting  but it is also completely jarring  then there are the campy touches of humor besson and coscripter robert mark kamen sprinkle throughout  which too often are silly and forced  a comic sexual encounter between ruby rhod and a flight attendant is highly distracting and not very funny  to boot  the storys weakness shines through in the climax and conclusion of the fifth element  while still visually and aurally spectacular  the events detailed are not as exciting nor powerful as they should be  the big  serious dramatic climax was met with more than a few snickers  and it ambitiously strives for a profundity which the film had not even begun to work toward  as such  at the end there is a sense that there was something bigger at work here  that there was still more left to be said about this story and these characters  this suspicion was confirmed by besson himself  who told me in the lobby following the screening  imagine that  the filmmaker watching the film with the  enemy  the critics  that what had made it to the screen was really just the first half of the lengthy original fifth element screenplay and that the second halfnow titled mr  shadowis still waiting to be made  still  despite the story problems  the fifth element is an artistic triumph for luc besson  rarely does a filmmakers original vision come to the screen in all its audacious  undiluted glory  it is a fascinating example of how of one artists fervid imagination can transport an audience into an intoxicating fantasy world generally seen only in dreams  
pos	 very bad things   is the most delightfully morbid film of the year  a movie that goes so far over the deep end with its outrageousness and violence that i couldnt help but be won over by the material  the film starts off with five friends leaving their homes in los angeles for a bachelor party in las vegas  the groomtobe is kyle fisher  jon favreau   who is about to be married to the controlling  weddingobsessed laura  cameron diaz   the other friends are real estate agent robert boyd  christian slater   quiet charles  leland orser   and brothers  michael  jeremy piven  and family man adam  daniel stern   after a wild night of gambling  boozing  and drugs  a stripper  carla scott  who was paid for by robert comes into their hotel room  but after a freak accident  to everyones terror  she is killed  as robert puts it   there are two options  go to the police and go to prison  or bury her out in the desert where no one will ever find her   after a security guard enters into the hotel room unexpectantly and sees the body  robert is forced to kill him as well   okay  there is only one option now  you can forget about calling the police   he says  by the time the five friends return home and as the wedding draws nearer  most of them are overcome with guilt  which sets off an even more elaborate series of event  that includes much  much more murder  doublecrosses  and the inevitable wedding from hell   very bad things   which is actor peter bergs feature film directing debut  is the shockingly perverse and wicked comedy that   theres something about mary   wanted to be  it pulls out all the stops to create something fresh  original  and hilarious  even if that requires surprisingly graphic violence  gore  and a slew of truly hateful characters that all get what they deserve by the end  the screenplay  also written by berg  is  to put it mildly  very funny and courageous  during the second act of the film  some of the fun was beginning to slightly dwindle due to so much death  which was beginning to undermine the humor  but it eventually recouped itself with a climax that has to be seen to be believed  the dialogue is edgy and inventive  and this film proves that a movie doesnt necessarily require likable character to be extremely enjoyable  theres more fun  i think  in showing ignorable people getting their just desserts  cameron diaz gives her best performance to date here  and has a lot of fun in playing the hateful laura  who eventually turns out to be more crazy than any of the five male friends  diaz puts so much overblown energy to her character that i really do think she deserves a supporting actress oscar nomination come next january  by the time she is beating someone to death with a coat hanger  and reciting lines like   stuff him in the crapper and get your ass upstairs   i couldnt help but crack up at how  ballstothewall  this film had become  jeanne tripplehorn creates another character original  as daniel sterns wife  who late in the picture  we discover  is a tough kickboxer that should not be messed around with  it is at this level that   very bad things   was so entertaining and surprising  just when you thought you could predict what was going to happen  there would be a little twist involving the characters that would be absolutely wacky  the last sequence was perfect and managed to go even further overthetop  although i enjoyed the film immensely  let me make this clear   very bad things   is not a movie for everyone  it is more tasteless than anything i have ever seen  it is more violent and bloody than a rrated film usually is  and it is offensive  luckily  these are elements that i would prefer in a comedy  since it clearly shows the filmmakers were set on making a noholdsbarred  politically incorrect comedy  the fact that this film slipped through the cracks of the usually mainstream and  safe  widereleases coming out lately  still gives me hope for the hollywood film industry  
pos	it is hard to imagine that a movie which includes abortion and incest as prominent plot devices could be so sensitive  so delicate  so insightful and yes  even so enjoyable  somehow  the cider house rules manages to keep an even keel in the face of the harsh subject matter and allows a substantial amount of heart to shine through  set in the 1940s  the film tells the story of a unique young man named homer wells  tobey maguire  ride with the devil   an orphan  twice rejected as an infant by possible adoptive parents  he grows up in the care and under the tutelage of dr  wilbur larch  michael caine  little voice   father figure to the orphans of st  cloud  obstetrician or abortionist to the unhappily pregnant women who come there seeking his help  figuring that as long as homer was going to stay at the orphanage  he might as well be of use  dr  larch begins teaching him all he knows about obstetrics  soon homer is delivering babies like a professional  he refuses to perform abortions  instead wondering why the couples just didnt behave more responsibly  larch  too old and experienced to have such youthful ideals  marvels that homer  continues to have such high expectations of people   such is the result of an insulated upbringing  though skilled in certain medical procedures  homer remains woefully naive and ignorant about most everything else  he finally figures that in order to find his place in the world  he must go out into it  befriending a young couple who had come to see dr  larch  he hitches a ride with them and parlays that into landing a job as an apple picker with a group of black migrant workers at the orchard where they lived  thus  homer begins his worldly instruction  with new friend candy kendall  charlize theron  the astronauts wife  a willing tutor  tobey maguire is well cast yet again as an inherently good man who is seeking answers to lifes questions    many of which he was unaware needed to be asked  he demonstrates a quiet strength and thoughtful curiosity that is both warm and appealing  michael caine is  in a word  brilliant as the caring caretaker of these orphans  many of whom he helped to bring into the world  calling them  princes of maine  kings of new england  in his ritualistic goodnight  mr  caine manages to communicate the love and commitment larch has towards these children without becoming maudlin or saccharine  delroy lindo  a life less ordinary  has many powerful moments as mr  rose  the strong and charismatic leader of the apple pickers whom homer joins  director lasse hallstrom  whats eating gilbert grape   and screenwriternovelist john irving  the world according to garp   who adapted his own work for this movie deserve much of the credit for the balanced approach to the sensitive subject matter  regardless of ones personal stand on the divisive matter of abortion  it is hard to imagine anyone becoming offended by the evenhanded treatment used by these filmmakers  the title is a reference to a list of rules posted in the quarters of the illiterate apple pickers  figuring the rules didnt apply to them since they didnt have a hand in writing them  they decide to ignore the list and make up their own rules as they go along  dr  larch  in his own way  acts similarly  there is a danger in that line of reasoning  god has also given us a set of rules  unlike the list posted in the cider house  gods rules  if followed  promise us benefits beyond our imagination  and yet  many continue to ignore his  rules  preferring to make up their own as they go through life   trust in the lord with all thine heart  and lean not unto thine own understanding   proverbs 3  5 kjv just as a builder follows a designers blueprint or a conductor follows a composers score  why shouldnt we follow the rules of life given to us by lifes architect for our own blessing  
pos	known as the most successful  highestgrossing romantic comedy in history  director garry marshall apparently struck gold with  pretty woman   which opened quietly during the summer of 1990 but  thanks to positive wordofmouth  was able to reach upwards of 175million in theaters alone  the question of why it worked so well lies directly with the films two charismatic stars  richard gere and julia roberts  since the story itself is none too original or even believable  the other winning element that makes  pretty woman  so entertaining is its genuine sweetness and innocence  which is rarely as palpable in todays films as it is here  edward lewis  richard gere  is a suave  extremely wealthy business mogul who  at the start of the picture  breaks up with his girlfriend over the phone after a nasty argument  and abruptly takes his friends car and gets lost on hollywood boulevard while trying to find his hotel  stopping the car along the street  he asks a woman  obviously a prostitute  for directions  agreeing to get in his car and show him for ten bucks  edward ultimately accepts  they strike up a conversation  and before long she has been asked up to his penthouse room on the top floor  this meeting does not lead to sex  however  as edward confides that hed rather just have someone to talk to  and offers her 300 to spend the night  just as well  since the hooker  named vivian  is a beautiful  generally upbeat young woman who is the type of person that can lend an understanding ear  the meeting between these two completely opposite people does not end the next morning as planned  when edward finally offers to pay vivian threethousand dollars if she will stay with him for six days and nights while he is in the area  keeping him company and acting as his companion to business dinners and gettogethers  since vivian firmly tells edward at the beginning that she will do anything with him except kiss him on the lips  which always leads to unwanted intimacy when dealing with her customers  the obligatory rule of the genre says that by the third act  edward and vivian will finally  truly  kiss  allegedly planned as a grim  downbeat drama until garry marshall came on board as director   pretty woman  has been transformed in all senses of the word into a classic fairy tale  a la  cinderella   the premise is hardly believable and its portrait of prostitutes hanging out on the streets of hollywood boulevard is just about the most idealized portrayal that there could have possibly been  you honestly dont need a highiq  or any iq  for that matter  to guess how the film will end  and the story is as old as my great great grandma bertha  the supporting characters are almost all sketchily written and lessthangratifying  and the screenplay is no award winner  and yet  amidst all of these qualms and flaws   pretty woman  is an astoundingly charming motion picture  and it is definately easy to see why it became such an overnight sensation with moviegoers  youd actually be amazed how far bemusement can go  and there are a few select moments  not even whole scenes  mind you  that are as romantic as anything ive seen on film in the 1990s  additionally  the film belongs  and its success can be attributed  to two people and two people only  and they are richard gere and julia roberts  playing sex symbols throughout the 80s with such pictures as  american gigolo  and  an officer and a gentleman   gere branches out here to play a more quiet  almost shy  but still alluring  character that believably could sweep julia roberts off her feet  and vice versa  julia roberts  in her breakthrough role after 1988s wellreceived  mistic pizza  and 1989s  steel magnolia   for which she was nominated for an academy award  is radiant and funny as the wordly vivian  who surprisingly could be a role model for impressionistic viewers  not for her line of work  but more for her sheer intelligence  it would have probably been easy to have written vivian as merely a flake  but screenwriter j  f  lawton clearly cared too much about his central characters to do such a thing  after  pretty woman   roberts  along with meg ryan  became the reigning queen of romantic comedies  with her latest being the justreleased  runaway bride   which repairs gere and roberts together once again   and no wonder  roberts has continually proven to not only be a strong actress with a flare for comedy  but also one who can efficiently do drama  and in almost every film she appears in  it is difficult not to fall in love with her along with her male costar  an especially strong scene that gere and roberts do together takes place after edward foolishly tells one of his coworkers that vivian is actually a prostitute  and he then approaches her  making sexual advances  no only does this make vivian feel cheap  especially since she had previously been posing as a more professional  eloquent young lady  but it also maddens her that edward would demean and betray her in such a way  and ultimately causes her to question where exactly her life is leading  and if she likes this particular path  on the more dreamy side  the film is filled with romantic scenes that are simply effervescent to behold  especially one in which edward enters into the hotels lounge to see vivian turn around and not only reveal her marvelous cocktail dress  but also her inner  and outer  glowing beauty  another subtle moment has vivian lovingly blowing a kiss to edward  who is asleep  and placing it on his lips  since she still is unsure if she should be getting attached to this man who may very well be out of her life forever in a short couple of days   pretty woman  does not blatantly step wrong until the very last scene  which is a happy ending  as youd expect  and wouldnt have it any other way  that somehow does not work  perhaps because of its undeniable contrivances  this one misstep does not put a damper on the rest of the film  though  because there is just far too much magic at work here to disaffirm such a petty problem  helped along by a warm  memorable supporting performance from laura san giacomo  as vivians best friend and roommate  and a fabulously catchy soundtrack  in which all of the songs prominently aid in the movies overall fulfillment   pretty woman  is a sparkler of a motion picture  and has what it takes to act as a blueprint on how to make the quintessential romantic comedy  
pos	the dramatic comedy cousins has all the necessary ingredients  a witty and whimsical script  inspired performances  a great sense of humor  a large and wonderful cast  and the beautiful scenery of vancouver  its a movie of weddings  marriage  family  infidelity  andoh yeslove  like 3 men and a baby  cousins is an americanized version of a french film  1975s cousin  cousine  the plot is complicated  but it goes something like this  larry and tom are cousins  each of whom is notsohappilymarried  tom starts an affair with larrys wife  tish  and to get even  larry and toms wife  maria  pretend to have an affair of their own  soon the pretending turns to love and cousins is off and running  cousins is populated by a wide assortment of interesting characters and caricatures  the acting is first rate down to even the smallest supporting role  and virtually every performance deserves mention  ted danson  in his first starring film role  finally gets to play a character with some depth and sensitivity  while larry may be confident and charming like sam malone on  cheers   he is also complex and vulnerable  with more between his ears than empty space  as maria  isabella rossellini is a joy to watch  she is shy  sensuous  and immensely alluring  sean young is perfectly cast as larrys picture perfect wife  tish  a superficial and trendy makeup consultant  keith coogan  from adventures in babysitting  is wonderfully weird and eccentric as larrys rebellious son  mitch  and finally  lloyd bridges in a tour de force performance is mitchs rambunctious grandfather  he provides some of cousins best lines and laughs  like moonstruck  cousins is a mix of drama and comedy  the film is larger than life and has a keen sense of the absurd  it understands human nature extremely well and milks it for every possible laugh and hearttug  how often do you see a movie where you believe that two characters truly and sincerely care for and love each other  as friends and as lovers  well  to its credit  cousins is just such a movie  lets hope the french continue to provide us with the inspiration to make films like cousins 
pos	this remake of  la cage aux folles  features a gay couple pretending to be straight in order to pull the wool over the eyes of their sons future inlaws  the couple  robin williams and nathan lane  are about as archetypal  or as the less kind might put it  stereotypical  gays possible  williams owns a nightclub featuring drag queens where his partner performs as the featured star  they live above the club in what could not possibly be mistaken as a heterosexual abode  williams is excellent as should be no surprise  gene hackman as rightwing potential fatherinlaw is refreshing in one of his few comedic roles  the real star is lane  his attempted transformation from one of the most obviously gay men in the world to the straightshooting uncle is hilarious  perhaps it is a personal failing on my part  but the crying and screaming drag queen faux high drama just grates on my nerves and the first few minutes of this film are filled with it  luckily  for me at least   it doesnt last long and the rest of the story focuses on the relationship between the men  their son and the deception  the question of stereotypes is a touchy one  these guys personify the homophobic gay image  you can almost hear the swishing  if you think that they are supposed to be representative of every gay man in the world  youll be outraged  but if you can accept the view is that this is a movie about gay individuals  youll love it  your choice  
pos	seen may 19  1999 at 5 p  m  at the crossgates cinema 18  guilderland  n  y    theater 1  with my brother john for 8  50  theater rating       excellent seats  sound and picture  critics note  this review is the longest ive ever written and still only scratches the surface  id recommend this be read only by those who have seen the film as a form of critical analysis   as my friend and fellow film critic ted prigge said in his review of the phantom menace  how do i even write this review  never mind the fact that ive been waiting for a new star wars movie since i was seven years old  never mind the fact everyone on the internet had already dissected and discussed the movie before it was even released  never mind that theres so much going on in this movie in terms of plot  action  special effects and longterm story that to analyze every aspect would take a lot of time and energy and still wouldnt cover everything  and also like ted does in all of his reviews  ill try to review this in a way different from my usual reviews and instead write as casually as possible as if i was talking directly to you  the reader  before we can begin analyzing the specific aspects of the film  many of the most general and most significant factors must be considered  to get the specifics of the film  skip this and the next four paragraphs   as has been made obvious for the last several years  another trilogy of films will be produced to account for the missing initial three installments of the star wars series  the first of the films was actually episode four  not one   george lucas  the creator of the series  has probably just assumed most people know the firstproduced trilogy  star wars   the empire strikes back and return of the jedi  is actually the second trilogy  chronologically  in media interviews in the past he has explained why the movies were made out of order  but i cant recall his reasons  with this new film he as writer and director has also assumed viewers are at least vaguely familiar with the storylines and significant plot points of the first trilogy  err    second trilogy    well you know what i mean   and in order for this review to be thorough many of those significant points must be mentioned which  unfortunately  may serve as spoilers so proceed with caution  critics note 1  it is one my personal policy not to intentionally analyze spoilers because i would like my reviews to be able to make sense to the reader both before and after viewing the film reviewed  but it would be nearly impossible to do the film justice here without breaking the rule  critics note 2  reviewing this film also breaks the universal critics law of reviewing movies  which as roger ebert coined  its not what a movie is about  but how it is about it   because so many outside factors come into play in the films plot and significance as part of a trilogy  and just considering modern society  it again would be difficult  if not impossible to simply review the film as a completely autonomous story   first of all we have to catalog what we know about the film before even going into it  we know that young anakin skywalker will grow up to become the evil ruler darth vader who is also the father of luke skywalker  who will lead a successful revolution against him and his empire  we know obiwan ben kenobi was the trainer of anakin in the ways of the force in attempts to become a jedi knight  but would fail and thus anakin would fall to the dark side   we also know something about the force itself  that it is some kind of universal force which determines fate and can be manipulated by those whose minds are expanded enough to believe in it and feel it  the jedi   what we dont know for sure is the history of the ruling of the galaxy  which is most likely much longer and more complex than any government we have had here on earth  to me  this was one of the most fascinating aspects of the first three films because there seemed to be a subtle  definite order to all the complexity  also  it seems that were supposed to be familiar with a few other details about the story which have come out of the thousands of comic books and paperbacks published in the years since the movies ended  most notably  details regarding the emperor from empire and jedi   and that he was once a senator and his last name is palpatine  for those who havent kept up with all the star wars paraphernalia over the years  there is still a way to know these details simply by recognizing an actor  or his voice at least   with the phantom menace being the first chapter of a long saga  one would assume the basic groundwork would be laid  including the history behind all the major factors of the series  especially the force and the jedi knights  unfortunately  this film does more of the opposite as it simply builds on top of what must be a history so long and detailed it could never be explained  i didnt liked that aspect to this film and is one of the reasons it falls just short of greatness  if youre going to tell a story from the beginning  tell it from the beginning  is it possible that after this trilogy is complete there could be another trilogy of episodes 1 through 3 to clarify the back story even further    but i digress  ive said so much and yet i havent even touched on the specifics of the film itself  all these necessary disclaiming elements should go to show just how vast the story of the star wars series is and this individual film itself  what we get here is a movie not unlike any of the other three weve come to know and love since the late 1970s  its similarity to the other films helps to keep the spirit of the series familiar  but at the same time seems to be a flaw in the filmmaking process itself since it sometimes rings of unoriginality  the basic story is rather sorted  complex and even confusing at times  were told that an army known as the trade federation has set up a blockade around an seemingly insignificant planet called naboo  were not given too many details to clarify the back story of what the federation is and what their purpose is  instead the film opts to get its story moving quickly  were introduced to two jedi  the master quigon jinn  neeson  and his apprentice obiwan kenobi  mcgregor   the two are acting as ambassadors of some sort in hopes of ending the obvious hostility between the federation and the planets queen  amidala  portman   the leader of the federation  an alien called viceroy  is following the orders of a strange  mythical character  an older human man whose face and body are covered and shadowed by the black robe and hood he wears  he is referred to as lord sidious but considering his appearance  and especially that creepy evil voice of his  he is a obviously one of the most significant characters in the series  sidious communicates to viceroy only through digital transmissions and never in person  clearly his actual whereabouts are something he wants to keep secret because that would also reveal his identity  which is never openly revealed in the film  but should be clear to most viewers  i have a feeling well delve into his background in the next two films   but it doesnt take the film long to spring into action and within minutes our hero jedi are fighting for their lives and the films story begins to move along  the film doesnt have one specific plot and works in the same manner as the other films in the series where as what we get is one miniplot and adventure on top of another  there are so many of these miniplotswithinplots in this film i would not describe them all because it is what gives the movie its hook  the other films have relied on this type of storytelling  but because of the limits of the technology at the time  the films screenplays were also limiting  the sense of limitlessness here is what gives the phantom menace its unique traits  as we already know  the film takes place at least a generation or two before the original star wars trilogy which means a lot of the background which was unclear andor unexplained may be cleared up here as it is the beginning of the vast epic story  and here the most significant storyline is that involving the discovery of 10yearold anakin skywalker  lloyd   by quigon jinn and his introduction to the jedi council  to briefly summarize the story  jinn stumbles upon skywalker in an attempt to buy parts for queen amidalas spaceship which was damaged in efforts to free her from the federation  their meeting on tatooine is mostly chance but of course jinn chalks it up to the will of the force  jinn can feel that skywalker has a great natural power in the force  and through another subplot involving a bet on skywalker in a fantastic race he will enter  more and more details of his significance begin to reveal themselves  this also provides for a new elaboration and explanation of the force which has never been mentioned before  in fact  it seems to be something so important it is upsetting it has never been mentioned before  the element seriously undermines the mystical aspect of the force and transforms it into something more physical and scientific which is completely unnecessary  by the films third act all the major significant elements become tied together in a rather familiar execution of the plot  its funny how the reality of the star wars world seems so embedded in mythology  new agelike philosophy and religion and yet the solution to all the major conflicts in the series has been violence  not that this technique hasnt been used in movies and in reallife situations countless times throughout history  and at least its all in the spirit of the ultimate powers of good versus evil in a fun and exciting matter  it does border of the cartoonish sometimes  but thats just the film appealing to our inner child  which is the basic reason the entire saga exists and has become such a big part of our modern society  the phantom menace delivers exactly what youd expect from a star wars film which is why it succeeds as well as it does but is always why it never truly achieves greatness  so many things in the film weve seen before and done with more heart because the filmmakers concentrated just a bit more on story and character because they were limited  but this film is far from bad because it at least embraces the spirit of sheer fun at the movies  
pos	the story of us  a rob reiner film  is the second movie this fall that touches the viewer in a way they are rarely touched by a film  as they can see their everyday lives in the usually once in a year films  well  1999 has two of them  the other being the instant classic about a very dysfunctional family  american beauty  the story of us  a film about the highs and lows of marriage and family  is a well written  heartbreaking and insightful film that made the majority of the audience  including myself  cry  the story of us tells the story of ben  bruce willis  and katie  michelle pfeiffer  jordan  and asks the question   can a marriage survive 15 years of marriage   the film is about two individuals who have come together  spent a good chunk of their lives together  and shows when our main characters are  him  and  her   during the bad times   and when they are  us   during the good times   the story of us is about their entire 15 years of marriage that is collapsing day by day  ben and katie now only see and live with each other because they dont want to devastate their children with the fact that their parents no longer  or at least say they dont  love each other anymore  ben  a cartoonist  and katie  a crossword puzzle writer  have grown apart during their fifteen years of marriage  as they have grown to follow different views on life  family  and marriage  katie is the more organized  sophisticated type  who wants to plan everything out  while ben is a spontaneous  adventurous individual who doesnt mind doing things differently than they were planned  the story of us plays out nicely  as the film opens with ben sharing his story with a therapist  told to the viewer through flashbacks  as the film progresses  it switches between ben and katie talking to their therapist  with their stories being told with flashbacks of their marriage  this method is highly effective  as we see the characters changing from year to year  slowly growing apart  through the flashbacks  we get to see the story of them through both of the characters eyes  and this gives us a strong sense of what their characters are really like  as the story of us has three dimensional  believable main characters  the screenplay  written by jessie nelson  stepmom  and alan zweibel  dragnet   is a touching  down to earth work that hits a chord within the viewer  much like another one of nelsons films  stepmom  the script has an open honesty and outlook on life  one that is so realistic  you feel uncomfortable at many times  because so many situations the characters are in are undeniably familiar  as most families these days most go through the hard times  as ben and katie must  if it wasnt for the first 15 minutes that the writers wrote  which are rugged and certainly flawed  the story of us would have been this years best picture  bruce willis  a usual actionadventure star  has certainly turned himself around in the past year he went from being a man who was being typecast to the same role in action movies  to a distinguished  sophisticated actor  as in last summers the sixth sense  and now in the story of us  willis shows the world what he can really do if he is fed a good script  although i wouldnt pick willis as the choice actor for ben jordan  willis handles himself nicely  and shines in a few of the films most powerful scenes  enough that make his performance a definite contender comes awards season  where to start about michelle pfeiffer  pfeiffers performance is spellbinding and ultimately strong  as she brings her character to life with such charisma and emotion  you wonder how  how it is possible for someone to portray a real person with such realism  pfeiffers performance is one that if not recognized by the academy next spring  will be in the hearts of any viewer that has watched this moving film  the story of us is one of 1999s most real  yet funny films  as the razor sharp script evens out the laughs and the tears to keep the viewer hooked  superb acting  direction  writing  story  and soundtrack that always sets the mood for the film  which is beautifully composed by eric clapton and marc shaiman  make the story of us a touching  unforgettable motion picture that will touch the hearts of viewers across the country and will certainly become one of the most talked about movies of the fall  the films major high points are the fights between ben and katie  as the two constantly accuse of each other of whose fault it is that their marriage has collapsed  and although they also say things like  its over   or  i hate you   you can tell the two still share a deep connection  and that inside  somewhere  they are still an  us   the bottom line  a wonderful  enchanting  and heartbreaking film  one of the most realistic  heartbreaking films in recent years  
pos	warren beatty returns to the screens in the funniest  craziest and hard hitting movie in his career  based on a story concocted by himself  and also written by beatty  bulworth gives a good insight of what beatty thinks of the american government system  beatty stars as senator jay bulworth  whos going through a nervous breakdown  after hiring someone to kill him  he completely changes his campaign strategy and tells the honest truth about whats really happening in american politics  much to the annoyance of assistant dennis murphy  platt   instead of everyone hating him  the american public love him  however  inside his party  more people want to kill him than just the hired assassin  and he also strikes a relationship with black girl nina  berry   its remarkable that this film was released at all  much more open than the rather subdued primary colours  bulworth barely gives the american politic system a good name  the outrageous remarks bulworth makes to his potential voters are very funny  and also somewhat true  its great that beatty isnt afraid to let loose on a subject  talking of beatty  hes excellent in the role of the demented senator  clearing having fun  and seeing warren beatty have fun is a rare sight indeed  even in dick tracy  he was the most straighten face actor   then again  he was the only characters face we could completely see   the film gives an opportunity for the 61 year old beatty to indulge in some rapping  which he does with gusto  and also quite well   and seeing beatty as a homeboy has to be seen to be believed  its nice to see that beatty can laugh at himself  second best is oliver platt as the flustered  coke snorting assistant  who goes over the top when he finally snaps  halle berry is fine  and sexy  as the intellectual nina  who comes to like the senator  also popping up in the supporting cast is paul sorvino wit h a strange accent  laurie metcalf as the exact same characters shes also played  and christine baranski of cybill fame as bullworths wife  who all contribute to the fun  and  this being a political film  the ubiquitous larry king makes an appearance  as   shock   himself  the writing and directing  both by beatty  are above par  the direction is very nearly sitcom like  but suits the film perfectly  and both the politics are gangland parts are handled well  the script is funny  and the raps are actually well produced and humorous  and quite clever  theyre not cringe inducing  at least  the script makes many points about society in america today  and isnt afraid to make any bold statements about what is a flawed system  best of all  the film is thought provoking  but directed and written in such a way that the film feels as light as a feather  and is very entertaining  theres also a great rap soundtrack with some well chosen tunes  bulworth is a film with many advantages  and few flaws  perhaps it could be somewhat embarrassing to see a 61 year old man rapping  but beatty does it so well its irrelevant  in fact  theres very little against bulworth  except for the language which is very heavy  but then again it should be expected  bulworth  then  is well worth watching  a david wilcock review  1999  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
pos	the long and illustrious career of robin williams  which has included both forgettable turns like mrs  doubtfire and flubber  was punctuated with the actors first academy award in 1998 for his role in good will hunting  it was his first truly dramatic role since 1989s dead poets society  and critical remarks were unanimously positive  his next role  that of a deceased pediatrician in what dreams may come  was unfortunately lackluster  and so  after a sixyear stint as a comedic actor  the proof on whether or not williams can cut it in the dramatic league has come down to patch adams  williams is the title character  hunter  patch  adams  sporting scruffy facial hair that falls between the cleanshavenness of dreams and the grotesque hairiness of will hunting  were introduced to patch as he commits himself to a mental institution because of his suicidal tendancies  its at the institution  however  that he discovers a latent talent for relating to people  he removes himself from the institution and enrolls at the university of virginias medical college  where he finds that medical doctrine is a calculating  impersonal trade  his attempts to inject humanity into the profession result in several bouts with expulsion  and the movie climaxes with patchs appearance before the state medical board  the characters are welldefined in an oscarworthy sense  although the script does not perform well as a narrative  theres little story to be told outside of patchs skitlength experiences  the script does go a long way toward building the relationships of characters  at medical school  patch meets up with truman schiff  daniel london   an outsider like himself who relishes patchs zest for humanity  the two instantly become the best of friends  and its easy to see why  monica potter plays patchs love interest  a young woman who personifies the things that patch hates about medical school  for some reason hes attracted to her  and although it never gets said  the audience understands from an intrinsic point of view  the script  based on hunter adams own story  works well this way  the rest of the cast  bob gunton as the villain professor in particular  is solid  director tom shadyac  liar liar  leads us in and out of patchs life in a sound  intentional manner  combined with williams presence on screen  the movie rarely becomes boring  patch adams lack of purpose is its major shortcoming  and for the first ninety minutes out of two hours  theres little feeling of continuity or the passage of time  nevertheless  its an emotionally moving picture  and patch adams looks to be one of the more memorable of the holiday season  it succeeds at everything it tries  and only fails at the stuff it doesnt try in the first place  by and large there may be another oscar nomination herein for williams  but more importantly  its entertainment for the entire family  
pos	in recent years  harrison ford has been such a grave screen presence  scowling through the likes of tom clancys jack ryan series  thefugitive  and last years smash airforceone  that one wonders if the rogue charm that made him such a superstar had been completely drained from his system  apparently  it was just lying dormant  with ivan reitmans enjoyable romantic comedyadventure sixdays  sevennights  the lovable scoundrel is back  giving audiences a fresh reminder of why ford is one of the most enduring and popular modern screen icons  ford plays quinn harris  a carefree and slightly slobby  endearingly so  pilot in the tropics whose brokendown plane crashes in a storm  stranding him and his charter  new york magazine editor robin monroe  anne heche   on a deserted island  of course  the sophisticated robin and the saltoftheearth quinn are at odds long before the plane goes down  and all manner of hostile repartee is exchanged between the two from their first meeting  while some of the lines fall flat  the formulaic motions work because of the unexpectedly electric chemistry between ford and heche  both actors  who have largely done serious works as of late  seem liberated by the lack of dramatic weight on their shoulders  and they deliver their zingers  as weak as they sometimes are  with beguiling abandon  naturally  theres nothing like a lifethreatening crisis to bring two people together  and quinn and robins warmup to each other is sped up even further by the arrival of some bloodthirsty pirates  granted  some conflict needed to be introduced on the island  but this tackedon development from writer michael browning is a bit too obviously thrown in for the purpose of adding gratuitous action scenes  but the point is to get the two together  and their newfound affection causes complications for both  but mostly robin  who came to the islands on a vacation with her fiance frank  david schwimmer   who frantically awaits her return on the home island  reitman  and old  reliable hand at breezy comedies  keeps the pace brisk and capably handles the more actionoriented sequences  his big accomplishment  however  is bringing the old  smiling ford back  as appealing and charismatic as he always is  ford hasnt been quite this charming and affable in years  hes obviously having a blast  and the audience cannot help but have one along with him  holding her own is heche  whose scrappy character never becomes the screaming ninny she initially promises to be  as the plane goes down  she frantically pops stress pills   she can take her lumps  physical and otherwise  just as well as quinn  making her a formidable foil and ideal match  formulaic and light as a feather  sixdays  sevennights could be cited as a classic example of the summer  popcorn  movie seasons lack of substance  its certainly fluff  but its unpretentious  undemanding  andmost importantlyfun fluff that goes down as easily as a frothy pina colada on a balmy tropical beach  pass the popcorn  
pos	near the end of 1996  analysts remarked that the year would be the last in which disney would stand alone as the animation king  the following year  1997  saw the first sleeper entry into the genre from a studio other than the magic kingdom  twentieth century fox gave baronial russia to the masses in the form of anastasia  at best  thats all it was  a sleeper hit  designed to surprise but not shake the industry  in 1998  however  things have been decidedly different  there have been a number of pushes on disneys death grip on the market  and fiftyone weeks into 98  a new champion has emerged  dreamworks the prince of egypt succeeds where all of the other conventionally animated products have failed  the other two contenders  warner brothers quest for camelot and disneys own annual entry  mulan  lacked inspiration and drive respectively  although camelot was borderlineabysmal  and cant really be considered a shot at the title  mulan had the makings of winner  unfortunately  it was saturated with traditional  disneycute animation  and lost points against the rapidlychanging face of the competition  in making the prince of egypt  dreamworks has strayed from all of these hallmarks and created a genuinely unique product  the animation is flawless  and  aside from a bugs life  is the bestlooking movie to date  the animators have nimbly mixed both flat and spatial effects  and the 2d3d combination is something that artists from disney and fox have heretofore struggled with  the key to success  however  was that the visuals were used not just because they looked cool but also as a method of advancing the plot  namely  some of the most important action sequences  like the parting of the red sea  were done almost entirely in 3d  dreamworks is the first studio to prove that theyve got the stuff of success  and that theyre capable of challenging disney  the story is also wellwritten  and the characters voiced with talent  for the most part  the plot follows its source material  the book of exodus  although only in the most general sense  the writers took a few creative liberties  and most do not damage the story in any way  in fact  the shakespearean relationship between moses  val kilmer  and the pharaoh rameses  ralph fiennes  makes the story more interesting if anything  moses  a hebrew  is saved from the slaughter of the firstborn sons by his mother when she sets him in a basket on the nile  he floats into the pharaoh seti  patrick stewart  s palace and is taken in by the royal family  moses grows up but learns of his heritage and flees into the desert  where he discovers the burning bush and is commissioned by god to return to egypt and free the slaves  by this time  rameses is now pharaoh  and the two brothers  now on opposite sides of the line  face off in a battle of wills and divine intervention  the cast of voices is most impressive  and also includes such noteables as sandra bullock  jeff goldblum  danny glover  and steve martin  the script does not have a lot of oneliners in it  and god is reduced to a voice that might well be mistaken for the same one that spoke to kevin costner in field of dreams  but overall the story is exciting and interesting  its decidedly for an older crowd  and the tykes who havent had a few years of religion class will be hopelessly lost  but for those who make the bid  the prince of egypt can be a great watch  
pos	capsule  a rock and roll fable  indeed  like a hubert selby  jr  novel filtered through equal parts damon runyan and bruce springsteen  and a ton of fun  streets of fire bills itself as  a rock and roll fable   and the description is perfect  this is a stylish  greatlooking  and breezily enjoyable movie that feels like a hubert selby  jr   novel with a damon runyan rewrite  irected by bruce springsteen  noir is one of the few truly american movie genres  aside from the hollywood musical and the western  this is postwwii brooklyn noir  for lack of a better label  with a generous injection of rock n roll and an allaround confrontational attitude  it all works  the plot is simplicity itself  rocker ellen aim  diane lane  is kidnapped by a vicious street gang  led by a bloodthirsty fellow named raven  willem dafoe  very nasty   her old soldier flame  played by michael pare  comes back into town to save her  but doesnt count on a whole bunch of things going askew  thats about the entire plot  save for the spats with ellens manager  a hilarious rick moranis   an encounter with a doowop group that winds up becoming ellens supporting act  and a whole gang of other fun little touches  but in movies like this  when is the plot important  the movie is all style  all visuals and attitudes  quotable lines and posturing  and it delivers all those things consistently and with great brio and pacing  no surprise that it was directed by walter hill  48 hrs    who understands this kind of macho romanticism perfectly  and has put together a movie thats a mixture of times and sensibilities  but perfectly unified in tone  when was the last time you could say something like that about a movie  especially a movie where it seems like someone gets decked on the jaw   and  passes out  every 2  63 minutes on cue  streets of fire isnt the greatest movie ever made  but it occupies a totally unique little niche  and enjoys the position it has  anyone with a weakness for doowop  neon  motorcycles  rainy streets  the el  studebakers  gang pictures  lonely heroes  and a greatlooking gal giving the microphone both lungs will eat this movie up  i did  
pos	jack nicholson has a funny way of playing characters with very few redeeming qualities  but whom you end up liking anyway  in as good as it gets  the character in question is melvin udall  a successful novelist with obsessivecompulsive disorder who seems bent on having as little contact with people around him as possible  except when he feels like being a royal pain in the youknowwhere  hes mean  i mean really mean  the opening scene shows him shoving a little dog down the trash chute of his manhattan condominium  every day  melvin eats at the same cafe  sits at the same table  and gets served by the same waitress  you can tell that this is his favorite place to be a vicious nuisance  when his waitress carol  helen hunt  tells him he can just go sit in another section  and all the other waitresses just cringe  one day  melvin makes a comment that goes to far  and carol  genuinely hurt  comes down on him like a ton of bricks  at that point we find that she is not only the only person who can put up with him as a matter of course  but is also the only person who can get to him  too  another person who often crosses melvins sights is simon  greg kinnear   an artist who lives on melvins floor  aside from the fact that he lives near the terror of the city  simon has the added benefit of being gay  making him a prime target  simons friend frank  cuba gooding  jr    also gay  does not fare much better  when simon walks in on a pair of men robbing his apartment  he is brutally beaten and sent to the hospital  and frank  who has grown tired of seeing his friend take the verbal abuse dished out by his neighbor  intimidates melvin into watching after simons dog while he convalesces  this is the same dog melvin had earlier shoved down the garbage  an interesting thing happens when melvin takes this dog in  melvin gets to like the dog  and the two develop an attachment which is the catalyst to melvins softening up to the world around him  it doesnt happen overnight  but throughout the film  he bites his tongue here  cares a little there  and most miraculously  falls in love  one of the best elements of this film is watching melvin try to express feelings which are not the usual negative ones he so often shares with others  hes traveling terra incognita here  and it shows  good performances are turned in by all principal players in this film  especially by nicholson and hunt  they play well off of each other and have a genuine chemistry which makes it a pleasure to watch them on screen  greg kinnear  who is becoming known for his supporting film roles  is also very good at playing the vulnerable simon  he gives a short monologue about what it means for him to be an artist  and delivers it with such inspiration and conviction that you actually get to feel some of what he feels  cuba gooding jr  performs with a hypedup level of energy which contrasts nicely with that of kinnear  and comes through with a near constant comic performance  the screenplay  by mark andrus and james l  brooks  is clever  touching  and funny  the best part about it  however  is that it is filled with characters we care about because they are actually interesting  melvin is a man we cant quite figure out  but whose mannerisms and quirky qualities capture our attention  carol is a working woman living with her mother  trying to take care of a child with a debilitating respiratory problem  simon is a man who is a success in his circle of peers  but who is still not accepted by much of society  combined with the talent of the actors  these characters make the film  the one noticeable area where the film is lacking  however  is the absence of cuba gooding  jr  through the second half  his character makes an exit which is supposed to be temporary  but the film ends before his return  leaving his relationship with simon and melvin unresolved  i would have liked to have seen more of his character in general  in addition to a part in the films conclusion  theres one actor  who will probably not be recognized by any awards  but who contributes greatly to many of the movies best scenes and who deserves mention  this is that little dog  he plays such a pivotal role to melvins character development  actually serves to forward the plot  and has some absolutely scenestealing moments  that it is hard to believe he is simply an animal  award or no  however  when even the dog puts in a good performance  you know youve got an outstanding movie  
pos	 ive been told by several people  youre old fashioned  you want to do everything by hand    topiary gardener george mendonca complains  defending his continued resort to hand shears in trimming his intricately privetsculpted animal creations   this is the only way you can do it and do it right   snip  snip   some people believe that we are gonna replace ourselves by building these machines  and that may be   muses mit robot scientist rodney brooks  who builds robots that run on instinct   there may not be a place for humans in the future  if were really successful    you feel that theres a and looking directly into errol morriss camera   i know you are  you know i am   in some ways the slickest film yet from nonfiction auteur morris  the thin blue line  a brief history of time   fast  cheap  out of control is reportage of the highest order  journalism students should dream of making connections like these  crosscutting among interviews and filmed segments  morris traces the lives of four disparate professionals who seem to share nothing but an immersion in their work  and then threads them around one another in an intricate quadruple helix  the fun is settling into your theater seat and wondering just what the hell one story can possibly have to do with the other  what morris manages is something akin to an intellectual magic trick  an interrogative sleight of hand  one of the things that feels different about an errol morris documentary  besides the alwaysstriking visuals  is the interview style  where subjects seem to look directly at the viewer  weary of pressing his cheek against the camera lens to get this effect during conversations  morris developed an elaborate doublecamera gadget he calls  halfjokingly  the interrotron  through a rig that uses a pair of teleprompters to project video images of the interviewer for the subject and vice versa  these folks talk  startlingly  right to the camera  to the video image of morris  and by extension to the audience  the gardener wonders whether  after his death  anyone will be interested in maintaining the garden that hes devoted half his life to tending  the robot scientist is more than a little pleased to note that his creations may be primal examples of what an insect or even an animal is  a complicated set of sensory receptors  the mole rat specialist is delighted to catalog the ways in which these vermin animals behave like insects  and notes that they may be more suited to longterm survival than people  and the circus trainer pines for a longlost ideal that was exemplified by worldrenowned trainer and showman clyde beatty  who starred in such serials as zombies of the stratosphere  excerpted at some length here  with affection   starting to detect the patterns  fast  cheap  out of control contains a multitude of parallels and tiny intersections  culminating in what feels like an elegy  the film is dedicated to morriss late mother and stepfather   the film is balanced on that airy precipice dividing the already musty past from the alternately exhilarating and terrifying space that is the future   the title is taken from brooks wish that nasa would send a payload of hundreds of expendable robots to scurry about the martian surface  creating a sort of road map for the terrain  fast  cheap  and out of control   with able assists from editors karen schmeer and shondra merrill and cinematographer robert richardson  oliver stones longtime collaborator   this becomes a cinematic contraption thats a wonder of narrative divergence and coherence   further enhancing the pictures wacky intellectual mood is the playful score by alloy orchestra founder caleb sampson   different story threads inform and comment on one another with the serene inscrutability of a kieslowski film  or a surrealist dream  by cobbling together out of these motley musings a thesis on the nature of craftsmanship  invention  and existence itself  morris reveals the presence of cosmic themes  creation  evolution  death  in earthbound lives  at the same time  and just as significantly  he pays tribute to a consuming passion for ones work  this breakdown of the dichotomy between the everyday and the extraordinary is likely as profound as anything youll encounter in pop culture this year  and the visuals cry out for the big screen  dont miss it   directed by errol morris edited by karen schmeer and shondra merrill cinematography by robert richardson music by caleb sampson u  s   1997  
pos	the deer hunter  directed by michael cimino  is truly one of the greatest movies ever made  a captivating drama about the lives of a group of friends from a small russianamerican pennsylvania community  the deer hunter promises to be one of those movies that you will never forget  in this academy award winner for best picture of 1978  outstanding performances are turned in by all actors  and ciminos brilliant directing provides the perfect vision into the characters lives  the first act of the film provides us with an inside look into the lives of a group of men from a small community who work and hang out together  michael  portrayed perfectly by robert de niro  is shown early on as the natural leader of the group  after a days work  the men leave their jobs at a factory to head down to the local bar  where john  george dzundza  works  three of the men  michael  steven  john savage   and nick  christopher walken  will be leaving shortly for vietnam  but not before steven gets married  after the marriage  the group  including axel  chuck aspegren   spend one last day on a hunting trip  one of their favorite pasttimes  this sequence of events enables us to view the lifestyle of a normal group of men  who will be suddenly and permanently affected by the ravages and separations of war  the wedding scenes  although criticized by many as being quite long  actually enhance even more the purpose of the first act  the outstanding performances by de niro  walken  streep  savage  and cazale  who died very shortly after the filming of the movie was completed  really begin to shine through and promise not to halt in the near future  the second act of the movie begins with the trio of men on the front lines in vietnam  stationed in a south vietnamese village being attacked by the viet cong  the men are eventually captured and held in a floating prison on a river  this prison  run by the v  c   initiates the horrifying scenes in the movie  where the prisoners are forced to play russian roulette against each other  steven  who is emotionally marred by this turn of events  is secluded in a tiger cage with water up to his face when he refuses to participate  michael shows his leadership again by convincing nick that the only way that steven will survive is if the two friends play against each other  and moreover  they must play with 3 bullets in the gun  personally  i felt that de niros absolutely gripping portrayal really was displayed in a brilliant way in these and the following scenes  the men are eventually able to escape  but are separated  michael is able to get steven  who ends up losing his legs  to medical care  while nick finds his way to saigon and a u  s  army hospital  michael returns home and does not feel at all like a hero  he wants to avoid the celebrations and recognition that his friends would like to bestow upon him  he assumes that nick is still lost in vietnam  the third act concentrates more on walkens character  who eventually stumbles upon a small gambling operation where the game is  again  russian roulette  only in this game  you play for money  michael has learned that nick is possibly still alive and returns to saigon to attempt to find him  the two narrowly find each other at the russian roulette games  but do not link up until michael discovers nick participating in the games and tries to bring him home  a very emotional  and  for many  a very disturbing movie  the deer hunter is a truly magnificent movie that should not be missed  the greatest performances possible are turned in by all actors  and ciminos directing  which is considered to be at his alltime best in this film  is equally dazzling  do not miss this film  it will captivate and astound you  
pos	with storytelling this compelling  who needs books  based on the book by author james ellroy  l  a  confidential is probably one of the best piece of work produced by hollywood in recent years  together with director curtis hanson  the hand that rocks the cradle  the river wild  whom ellroy corroborated closely throughout the shooting of the film  resulted in a movie with a plot and and script so tight  an atom would have to squeeze itself through  set in the 50s  the story revolves around 3 policemen of vivid personalities  jack vincennes  spacey  is the cop who is more concerned on busting with fame and stardom ala hollywood style  concentrating heavily on work which will attract him media attention  there is also the young hotshot rookie  ed exley  pearce   fresh out of the academy and allout to carve a name for himself in the footsteps of his legendary cop father  the tough and unnerving bud white  crowe   a cop who believes in justice  the swift and violent way  3 policemen  distinct in their characters and paths but all of them working in a place where there is no real distinction between good and evil  when his partner is murdered on the day of his resignation  bud sets out to find the people responsible but unwittingly delved himself into something more than just a simple robbery murder  even after exley receives a promotion for his work on the murder case  happenings began to link itself to the murder  the 3 eventually reach a point of convergence when what actually began as a personal investigation turns out to be an uncovering of a complex web of organisedcrime in hollywood  the last time i remember a film so clever and compelling was when i watched the usual suspects  in l  a  confidential  you do not get the shock and cleverness as the former but it has a lot more of story going for it  there is not a single moment in the film in which i felt was slow at all  surprisingly  though spacey did a very convincing job as the streetwise vincennes  the movie was carried mostly by the two rather unknowns  pearce and crowe  pearces exley is cool and calculative in his actions and there is a slight hint of val kilmer in his appearance  crowes bud white is the most impressive of all  headstrong and temperamental  he should obtain some sort of recognition for his work here  superb acting   wonderful storytelling and one of the best climaxing gunfights ever  easily the best hollywood piece for 1997  
pos	synopsis  committed to an asylum  the marquis de sade  rush  continues to publish pornographic literature  aided by young maid madeleine  winslet   abbe coulmier  phoenix   who runs the hospital  disapproves of the stories  but humours him in the hope of achieving a cure  de sades craft and life are threatened when the emperor dispatches dr royercollard  michael caine  to stop the marquis work  permanently  review   quills  is an exploration of the marquis de sade  his madness  his cruelty and his perversion  his obsession with sex in any form  no matter how obscene  but  quills  also details the marquis determination  to write in spite of the obstacles put in his path  and to propagate his words to the masses  the extent to which de sade is willing to go to practise his trade is amongst the movies most intriguing elements  as when de sade scribes a story in his own blood  or narrates a tale via of a chain of fellow inmates  cell to cell  to provide a contrast with the marquis  wright involves him with two very different characters  one is the abbe  a handsome  charming and kindly man whose desires are stymied by his oath to god  the abbe lusts for madeleine  but it is the wizened marquis who is able to have her  and then there is royercollard  a hypocrite who in truth is as sadistic as any of the marquis motley creations  rush is splendid as de sade  utterly inhabiting the character  kaufmans direction is fine  and he is able to bring a sense of bizarre humour to the grim proceedings  the plot itself is rather mundane and plays out unsurprisingly  but this is virtually unimportant  for two hours   quills  acquaints us with the marquis de sade  and  more frightening still  allows us brief insight into his scatological soul  
pos	with more and more television shows having gay characters  and even the infamous  ellen  sitcom being centered on the life of a lesbian  the movie industry too seems to be gaining more and more homosexual based plot lines  the birdcage was critically acclaimed  as was this years chasing amy  then along came in  out  and all three of these films are on my top ten list for the years in which they were released  its also noticeable that this  alternative lifestyle  becomes less and less taboo as the years go by  and it seems that using comedy as a medium is proving a worthwhile effort  while its a very serious issue to many  it is the comedies that people are flocking to see and that are gaining notoriety  but the way were using comedy to present homosexuality is also changing quite dramatically  while the gay community was once very stereotyped and used to laugh  at   it is more and more becoming something we laugh  with   and when a movie like in  out comes along  it is something that both heterosexuals and homosexuals should be able to thoroughly enjoy  it doesnt poke fun at the lifestyle  it simply uses it to all its comedic capacity  just as love  sex  marriage  birth  death  and anything else has been  the idea for in  out was born the day tom hanks won his oscar for portraying an aidsafflicted gay man in philadelphia  if you remember  during his acceptance speech  hanks gave a highly emotional tribute to the gay community  and even sighted a former gay teacher of his as a major inspiration in his life  its a serious and touchy subject  but producer scott rudin viewed it as the setting for a potentially hilarious comedy  and pitched it to screenwriter paul rudnick  its true that if this same film had been written by a heterosexual  it may have been more controversial  but because it was written by an openly gay writer  the prerogative was set  kevin kline  who only seems to become more and more acclaimed  stars as howard brackett  a high school english teacher in the small  picturesque town of greenleaf  indiana  after a threeyear engagement to fellow teacher emily montgomery  joan cusack   a wedding date has been set  and the hubbub surrounding it is almost as big as that surrounding another huge story  greenleaf high graduate cameron drake  matt dillon  is up for a best actor oscar  the small town eagerly awaits both events  and both seem quite astronomical  but little does anyone know how much one will affect the other  when cameron drake is announced the winner  the excitement is heightened as he pays tribute to his high school english teacher  mr  brackett  everyone is cheering back in greenleaf  that is until cameron tacks on those three calamitous words   and hes gay   the town becomes silent as the entire population joins in a simultaneous jaw drop  the thing is  nobody  including howard  can understand how cameron came to that conclusion  and such wild and unexpected news can only wreak havoc in such a conservative american haven such as greenleaf  naturally the questions pour from howards fiancee  parents  debbie reynolds  wilford brimley   students  and the high schools principal  tom halliwell  bob newhart   and the evidence starts to become more and more obvious  howard is clean  neat  honest  sincere  a romantic  and perhaps the most incriminating fact  he loves barbara streisand  the frenzy isnt helped any when camera crews from every conceivable news magazine and  entertainment tonight  wannabe show up at greenleaf high the very next morning  one particular reporter is peter malloy  tom selleck  of  inside entertainment   who unlike the collage of other reporters  wants to spend a whole week in the life of howard brackett  including coverage of his wedding  the intrusion is all but welcome by howard  who is going more and more out of his mind with each passing minute  it seems that no matter where he turns  a camera is being shoved in his face and questions regarding homosexuality are being tossed to him like frisbees  the dominoes begin to tumble as howards closest friends begin acting different and principal halliwell hints at a possible termination of employment should howard indeed be gay  it all sounds very devastating  and it would be if it werent presented with nearperfection by one of this years most delightful ensemble casts  kline seems only to improve with age  and he is downright perfect here  the great thing about this film is that every single character has a moment to shine  and they use it wonderfully  every single actor turns in one of their best performances ever  dillon has never been so likeable  cusack has never seemed so perfect for a role  and brimley  reynolds  and newhart all provide huge laughs when theyre up to bat  rudnicks script is heavily laced with wit and humor  and youll likely find yourself laughing out loud for a solid ninety minutes  while in  out doesnt carry enough to give it four stars  it remains one of the best done films of the year  allaround  the script is exuberant  the actors are absolutely top notch  and were allowed just the perfect blend of hearttugging so as not to bog down the laughs  it remains a solid comedy throughout its entirety  yet were still allowed a sappily touching ending  despite its subject matter  and one scene that comes almost too close for comfort on explaining gay sex  this is a movie that everyone could  and should  enjoy  frank oz  best known as a voice talent for muppets  directs this film quite delightfully  using all the potential rudnicks script has to offer  which turns out to be quite a bit  check this one out  youll have a gay old time  
pos	with his last two films  shine and snow falling on cedars  australian director scott hicks has proven his cinematic flashbacks to be some of the best out there  and his latest  hearts in atlantis  is no different  its structure  beginning and ending in present day with one long flashback in the middle  is similar to the green mile  which is a bit ironic considering both were based on stephen king books  the parallels dont end there  either  atlantis was adapted by william goldman  who had previously penned the bigscreen version of misery and is in the process of working on the script for kings dreamcatcher  even the films content is a bit reminiscent of mile  in fact  its the perfect blend of the feelgood 60s nostalgia of stand by me  also by king  and mystical power hokum of mile  kings atlantis is a book comprised of five related short stories  but the main focus here is on the first  and longest  tale  called low men in yellow coats  the films title comes from the second chapter   its set in 1960 harwich  connecticut  where 11yearold bobby garfield  anton yelchin  lives in a boarding house run by his cold  selfcentered mother elizabeth  hope davis  joe goulds secret   who seems to care more about her wardrobe than her son  bobby spends his time with his two closest friends  john sullivan  will rothhaar  and tomboy carol gerber  mika boorem   who become something like the kevin  paul and winnie of harwich  when a new tenant moves into the vacant room  the fatherless bobby finds a male role model in ted brautigan  anthony hopkins  hannibal   a mysterious stranger who is vague enough about his past to make bobbys mom suspicious enough to at least momentarily turn her head away from the mirror  ted teaches his young neighbor about the wonders of literature  after his cheapskate mother gives him a library card for his birthday   dispenses prophetic words of wisdom and even pays bobby one dollar a week to read him the local newspaper and keep his eyes peeled for the low men  a group of people chasing ted to exploit his special powers  i wont go into what these powers are  but theyre considerably toned down from the book  and dont involve black stuff flying out of teds mouth  a la mile   atlantis presentday setting which bookends the film is based on the novels final chapter  titled heavenly shades of night are falling  and features david morse  in yet another connection to the green mile  as a married  middleaged bobby who learns of the death of both of his childhood friends and returns to the dilapidated boarding house in which he spent his formative years  atlantis is nowhere near as flashy as hicks cedars  which is disappointing but understandable considering the switch from the completely amazing robert richardson to the occasionally amazing piotr sobocinski  the oscarnominated cinematographer behind krzysztof kieslowskis red  the acting is solid from everyone  including hopkins  who never once makes you think of dr  lecter  most impressive are youngsters yelchin and boorem  who both had tiny parts in along came a spider  while i didnt really have much of a problem with goldmans screenplay  i do need to point out at least one inconsistency  goldman  for those of you who dont read premiere  writes what seems like an annual criticism of everybody elses films  carefully explaining why they all suck  make no sense and insult their audiences  while somehow failing to mention the crap that hes penned  like the generals daughter   its meanspirited but fun to read  mostly on account of nobody else in hollywood having the balls to say anything remotely negative about anybody else in the business  including michael jackson  o  j  and robert blake   in atlantis  which is supposed to be told through the eyes of young bobby  one would assume he would have to be in each scene in order to have the memory to which to flash back  well  hes not  and it doesnt make sense  1  41  pg13 for violence and thematic elements 
pos	corey yuens latest film   hero  is notable on two fronts  first this is the film to bring back the shaw brothers studio back to the forefront of film production  secondly  the film is the rediscovery of yuen biao  the film opens around the end of the qin dynasty  when many immigrants were making their way to shanghai  poverty and crime rule most of china  a young man  ma wing jing and his brother enter the fabled city and become laborers at the pier  tam see is the most powerful gangster in town  having control of the center of the city and having an alliance with the british army  wing jing and see become friends during a confrontation  their friendship grows as both men start to realize their dreams  wing jings to be a powerful and wealthy man  and see to settle down with a woman he can truly love  wing jing meets the singer at the club  jessica hester  and falls in love with her  not realizing that she is the star attraction  after stealing her picture from a display  wing jing and his brother plot to impress her  first they rob two foreigners of their money and cloths  and set up a midnight rendezvous  unfortunately  wing jing has run afoul of a rival gangster  yeung seung who has bribed the police in an effort to gain control of sees night club  the two bothers are arrested and held until they manage to escape just before dawn  jessica  having waited outside in the cold with her manager all night  gives up and returns home  see decides to retire  he gives the night club to wing jing  as repayment for saving his life during an attempted murder  see arranges the trade and ask his lover  valerie chow  to take care of wing jing  unfortunately  she has sided with yeung seung  the performances in the film are all top notch  with fine turns by takeshi kaneshiro as ma wing jing and jessica hester and valerie chow  the comic turn by yuen wah  previously known as the mad vietnamese in samo hungs  eastern condors   is a marvelous surprise  his gift for comedy is marvelously understated and hilarious  the standout is by yuen biao who returns to the screen after a string of disappointments  with a stellar performance  his tam see is a triad boss who knows that his time is coming to an end but still has the cunning and craft to uphold his pride  his gangster is almost nonviolent  in that he only retaliates  never instigates violence  but when the time comes to fight  yuen biao has never looked better  corey yuen directs the film with a maturity and a sense of pacing that has been lacking in hong kong movies as of late  the lighting  cinematography and staging of the film are beautiful to watch  the action scenes do not disappoint either  this is the most aggressive and inventive martial art choreography ive seen in some time  actually surpassing jackie chans work in both rumble in the bronx and first strike  the special effects team deserves praise for a fantastic job of making the impossible look possible  an early fight between takeshi kaneshiro and yuen biao on the back of a horse is to be seen to be believed  also noteworthy is the score for the film  done in a marvelously lush orchestral style  not representative of most hong kong fare  i would dare to say it ranks as high as the scores for both  titanic  and  rosewood  as best of the year  all in all   hero  marks a grand return to filmmaking for shaw brothers  this is the film that gives us faith that hong kong cinema is alive and flourishing  
pos	synopsis  in this cultural exploration  a chinese american computer engineer named fang  peter wang  decides to take a monthlong vacation to visit his sister mrs  chao  shen guanglan   her husband mr  chao  hy xiaoguang   and their teenage daughter lili  li qinqin  in beijing after 30 years of separation  fang brings his asian american wife grace  sharon iwai  and his collegeaged son paul  kelvin han yee  along  both of whom dont speak chinese  the encounter between the two families allows the audience to compare the eastern and western cultures as well as the ambitions of individual characters  opinion  sometimes a film is plot driven  sometimes its a character sketch  a great wall  1986  can be called a culture sketch  as opposed to a character sketch because it gently compares a chinese american family to a beijing family  fangs family is thoroughly americanized  fang is an upper middle class professional who enjoys jogging and argues with his boss  his wife cant cook chinese  his son has a white girlfriend and complains of racism when fang encourages him to befriend an asian girl  meanwhile fangs beijing sister advocates absolute loyalty to the work unit   her husband is a retired official who has heard rumors of american depravity  homosexuals running the streets   and her daughter lili longs for american freedoms in a youth culture where studying for college entrance exams is the most important thing in life  the two families spend a month slowly learning about each other  there is no ultimate answer or final comprehensive understanding after the monthlong vacation  the film is neither here nor there  its a neutral  meandering  gentle  portrait of life on both sides  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  on december 20  1996  amidst all the yearend oscar bait releases from the major studios  miramaxs genre label dimension films quietly released a sly little ensemble slasher flick titled scream  although the teen horror market had been given up for allbutdead in recent years  the film shocked industry observers by scoring consistently high box office returns  eventually topping 100 million domestic and becoming one of the most successful films of its type in history  while delighting audiences by finally presenting a set of knowing slasher flick protagonists who were aware of the all the standard cliches associated with the genre  the sleeper success of scream sent shockwaves through the industry  suddenly  everybody was looking for hip  inexpensive fright films that might be able to reap similar fortunes  the strategy of casting young tv stars to draw the youth demographic was given a boost  scream director wes craven  previously best known as the creator of new lines a nightmare on elm street film series  was thrust back into the limelight  and screams rookie scribe  kevin williamson  burst onto the film scene in stunning fashion  its hard to understate this last point  mr  williamson has  based upon his produced screenplays as of this writing  scream  i know what you did last summer from october 1997  and now scream 2   enjoyed a meteoric rise to fame  quickly become the most wellknown screenwriter amongst the entertainment weeklyreading  box office figurewatching youth culture since  well  since that quentin tarantino guy  whom  it is said  has also achieved some renown as a director   indeed  in a singularly freakish oddity  it is the screenwriter  mr  williamson  and not the director that has been receiving the lions share of acclaim for the success of scream  and the print advertisements for scream 2s theatrical release are similarly indicative of his increasing prominence  while the traditional  a film by wes craven  drapes the films title in the ads  right below it  in equal sized font  yet  reads  written by kevin williamson   an affirmation of the screenwriters contribution to the project which may be unprecedented   i can envision the board of wga  licking their chops at this coup and counting the days until their goal of  a film by  is attained   and  much like mr  tarantinos screenwriting  mr  williamsons work is vaguely unconventional  incorporating both contemporary pop culture references and allusions to other films into the dialogue of his characters  in scream  they satirically discussed other horror films  here in the sequel  the characters discuss the relative merits of film sequels  scream was written in 1995 during the infamous bob dole rampage against hollywood  and mr  williamsons rejection of this tirade clearly influenced the writing in both that film and this sequel  while the sequel was planned from the outset  a treatment of scream 2 was included when mr  williamson sold the screenplay for scream  the basic premise for the film and the reunion of the surviving characters nevertheless seems extremely artificially contrived  and its only at about the films midway point when it becomes engaging  like its predecessor  scream 2 opens with a splashy  eyegrabbing prologue which only vaguely ties into the films principal narrative  this time around  were following the exploits of a young couple  jada pinkett and omar epps  attending a riotously gleeful sneak preview screening of stab  a running filmwithinafilm gag where the  true life  events behind the first film has been turned into a movie   however  although it tries hard and has some good ideas  the nightmarishly enthusiastic audience in the film vaguely reminded me of the one i was sharing the theatre with  and i was certainly thinking about gutting the overlynoisy person a few seats away myself after about fifteen minutes  the prologue is a pale imitation of the bravura opening sequence in the original with drew barrymore  where her performance not only convinced me that she  could  act  but was so good that it would rank among the best performances in a horror film that ive ever seen   there are too many knowing  hip popculture references crammed into the scream 2 sequence  and the setup isnt nearly as cleverly frightening as screams  while the first films preface dizzyingly built up to a final shot that was exhilaratingly terrifying  the payoff here is almost campily theatrical  flash to the campus of a smalltown ohio college  where returning characters sidney  neve campbell  and randy  jamie kennedy  have relocated for their studies and to escape the notoriety from the events in the first film  the murders which open this film result in reuniting the survivors  singleminded tabloid tv reporter gale weathers  courteney cox  roars into town to cover the breaking story  while everawkward former deputy dewey riley  david arquette  flies in to protectively guard over sidney  theyre joined by cotton weary  liev schreiber   who was falsely accused of homicide in a cameo appearance during the first film  his role here is significantly expanded  the film incidentally provides surprisingly little backstory  although i suppose a good case can be made that it really isnt necessary  not because so many people have seen the first installment  but because this is  after all  a sequel to a slasher film  what do you  think  happened to these characters in the prior movie  theres a lot of new faces on the scene too  sidneys new boyfriend  derek  jerry oconnell  and her new roommate hallie  elise neal   randys fellow film student mickey  timothy olyphant   gales newlyassigned nervous cameraman joel  duane martin   omnipresent local journalist debbie salt  laurie metcalf   coed cici cooper  ms  buffy herself  sarah michelle gellar   and a pair of simpering sorority sisters  rebecca gayheart and sirens portia di rossi   any of these characters could be the killer  or for that matter  could be the next victim  as is seemingly becoming a regular staple of a kevin williamson screenplay  the narrative is once again framed around the increasinglyflimsy premise of a whodunit  one problem that scream didnt have was keeping you interested in the identity of the killer  here  and to some extent in i know what you did last summer   mr  williamsons screenplay seems slightly hampered by trying to turn the identity of the killer into a mystery  the film occasionally becomes so bogged down with misdirection that you can sense it straining at the seams to try and drop red herrings left and right at the expense of its thriller elements   it doesnt help matters any that the killers alterego is fairly obvious from the getgo   indeed  the finale plays as fullout camp when the villain is finally unmasked  frothing at the mouth with glazed eyes  this is one of those cases where the villain goes on such an endless diatribe about their machinations  scheming  and motivation  that you actually get bored listening and just want them all to get on with it  while the basic setup and premise for the film is fairly contrived  the aspect where its headandshoulders above its predecessor is in its suspense sequences  theyre staged much more imaginatively here  save for the first postprologue murder  which is handled in such a mediocre  conventional fashion that it seems to be culled directly from the predictable 1980s slasher flicks that the first film satirized   and are much more fun to watch  its hard to hold back a smile during a giddy scene where sidney and her companion have to climb over the incapacitated killer in order to escape from a car wreck  and a catandmouse chase involving gale and dewey in a campus sound lab is very nicely staged  although its ultimate resolution is hilariously overblown  in terms of its characters  the strong part of the film is the interesting relationship between gale and dewey  who ambles onto the screen accompanied by his very own theme music   their verbal sparring at the outset provides much humour  an exchange where dewey defensively rebukes charges of a perceived aura of incompetency is wellwritten  and theres a curiously endearing aspect about their relationship amidst all the mayhem and bloodshed  on the other hand  sidney is pretty dull here  she doesnt have any compelling presence  and theres nothing particularly interesting about her this time around to make us care about her other than that shes the returning heroine  given this  and the fact that theres no strong second banana character for sidney  elise neals role isnt nearly substantive enough to adequately fill rose mcgowans shoes   its no wonder why the roles for gale and dewey have been significantly augmented for this installment of the film  what surprises me the most about scream 2 is its zealousness in decimating its cast  the films mounting body count bears out the fact that  no  character is safe  well   almost    while in principal i applaud this bold policy  at some point youve got to be wondering about just how many characters will make it to the next sequel   i was particularly surprised with the untimely demise of one in particular  whose casting for the next installment of the series wouldve seemed obvious   but hey  as rose mcgowans character said in the first film   no  please dont kill me  mr  ghostface  i want to be in the sequel   look what that got her  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  its startling to consider that it was only a few years ago that film distributors would worriedly rearrange their summer release schedules in order to give the annual disney animated feature juggernaut a wide berth  the lion king had just cracked 300 million domestic in gross to become one of the most profitable ventures in film history  continuing to build on a sturdy base left by prior flicks aladdin and beauty and the beast  since then  though  disneys animated features have shown an unbroken string of diminishing returns  with pocahontas  the hunchback of notre dame  and this years hercules successively proving less and less potent  with the once seeminglyimpregnable disney stranglehold on the market share suddenly looking mighty vulnerable  and faced with their first serious competition in the animated film market from foxs anastasia  disney has brought xmas home early by dusting off the feature which sparked the modern revival of feature animation  the little mermaid  while the animation for the film is  as is typically the case for disney films  unquestionably topnotch  the magic in the little mermaid is not its animation  but the wonderful innocence of its story and its rousingly superb music  the films storyline is fairly straightforward  young teen falls for handsome man  father disapproves and assigns hapless chaperone to his daughter  teen disobeys father and goes to desperate lengths to win her man  except in this case  the chaperone is a crab  the teen is a young mermaid  and the object of her desire is a human prince  what makes the little mermaid so affecting and so emotionally resonant is the richness and charm of its characters and the sheer clarity and honest simplicity of their emotions  from the moment mermaid ariel lays her eyes on prince eric  shes resolutely smitten  and shes such a pure and endearing character that one cant help but invest their heart with her  this simple but touching love story  coupled with a healthy dose of smart humour  makes the little mermaid a remarkably captivating picture  one of the interesting things about the little mermaid is something which now curiously dates it  the voices cast for its motley crew of characters  this film was produced just before the distracting concept of using celebrity voices became in vogue  which started to a certain degree with beauty and the beast and was irrevocably exacerbated by robin williams muchheralded turn in aladdin  by the release of the lion king and henceforth  the majority of characters in the animated films were voiced by celebrities  while its understandable that animated features lacking the namerecognition or drawing power of disney  say  baltos use of kevin bacon and bridget fonda  or even anastasias showcasing of meg ryan and john cusack  would be forced to turn to this strategy in order to hype their products  its unfortunate that even disney has embraced this policy  do we really need to hear  say  demi moore as esmerelda in the hunchback of notre dame  is the films entertainment value really augmented by hearing a recognizable voice  rather than a voice which best suits the role   im not exactly on the edge of my seat for eddie murphy in the upcoming mulan   fortunately  the performers who voice the characters in the little mermaid  although perhaps more obscure  are impeccably cast  chief among them is jodi benson  a 1992 tony nominee for her stage work in crazy for you  who voices the films heroine ariel to perfection  with a wonderfully expressive speaking voice full of youthful vigor  and gorgeous singing voice  ms  benson provides a most engaging anchor for the film   shes the only reason id even consider catching flubber   similarly  samuel e  wright is terrific in the showy role of sebastian  the weary guardian crab  he easily milks his lovable characters comic moments for all theyre worth  and his rendering of two of the little mermaids big tunes   under the sea  and  kiss the girl   have become the stuff of legend  pat carrol is deliciously villainous and vampy as the evil seawitch ursula  while kenneth mars booming voice conveys the stern yet affectionate authority of ariels father  king triton  in large roles and small  edie mcclurg as dotting busybody carlotta is ideal  and rene auberjonois has great fun with his exuberant french chef   the little mermaid is impeccably cast  of course  the little mermaid will probably be best remembered for its remarkable collection of songs composed by the songwriting team of alan menken  music  and howard ashman  lyrics   who had created little shop of horrors and would go on to compose beauty and the beast and aladdin for disney before mr  ashmans untimely death  not only are mr  menkens tunes unbearably catchy  but mr  ashmans charming lyrics are fully integrated into the films storyline so that the songs are a virtual extension of the characters dialogue  and consequently work wonderfully within the context of the film  mr  menkens score for the film is equally topnotch  the sequence where eric  voiced by christopher daniel barnes  and ariel tour his kingdom in a horsedrawn carriage becomes magical and wondrous with mr  menkens fine score  it appears that most people prefer the delightfully colourful production number for the calypsostyled  under the sea  as joyfully crooned by mr  wright  which won the academy award and golden globe awards for best song  indeed  one of the many little joys in screening the film during its rerelease was listening to children scattered throughout the audience singing along with the tune  but my favourite is ms  bensons heartfelt rendition of the ballad  part of your world   an achingly beautiful tune of yearning and hope  wonderfully lyricized by mr  ashman  which  accompanied by the films most dazzlingly polished animation sequence  packs an emotional wallop which literally brought tears to my eyes  during the songs reprise  which builds to a crescendo with ariel arching on a rock as a wave crashes in  the cumulative effect is nothing short of breathtaking  and one becomes acutely aware that this single instance is one of the finest in animation history  as of this writing  november 1997 has come to an end  as has disneys limited 17day rerelease of the little mermaid  theres no question that the primary motivation for  if not the films reissue itself  at least its timing  was to reinforce disneys dominance in the animation market and provide direct competition to foxs costly new upstart animation division and their first major venture  anastasia  in every respect  the rerelease of the little mermaid appears to be a success  the films 1997 grosses have pushed its cumulative domestic gross over the magic 100 million mark  the little mermaid proved to have remarkably strong drawing power for a film initially released only eight years ago and in many homes on video  pulling in close to 10 million in its opening weekend  and although nobody could possibly expect the little mermaid to possibly defeat the aggressivelymarketed anastasia in headtohead competition  it siphoned enough from the fox films opening weekend totals to keep anastasia from the coveted weekend leader spot  allowing for disneys odious flubber to sweep in on the subsequent week and wrestle the family demographic market share away  but although disneys motives in the reissue of the little mermaid were selfserving and protectionist  the real winner is the public  any reason to put this film back into theatres is a good one  and its a true joy to see this heartwarming gem back on the silver screen  the little mermaid is the best film to come out of the disneys modern animation renaissance  and one of the greatest animated films ever made  
pos	this christmas  little ralphie parker  peter billingsley  wants nothing more than a red ryder bb gun under the tree  although cautioned by many that he will  shoot his eye out  ralphie remains optimistic  conjuring up a detailed scheme to get on the good side of his parents and teachers  it could be possible that no one has ever wanted anything with more passion than ralphie wants this bb gun  and the story of his eternal struggle is a charming one  a christmas story is a favorite among many during the holiday season  and boy  it is certainly easy to see why  ralphies endless desire for the bb gun may transport you back to your childhood  when you were craving a certain gift for christmas and the anxiety was almost indescribable  evoking pleasant childhood memories is only one of the many things a christmas story does so well  here are a few features that make this film such a charming little package for everybody during the holiday season  1  period detail  this film is based on the memoirs of late humorist jean shepard  who shares his experiences as a young boy living in the 1940s with loving detail  shepard narrates from a first person pointofview  divulging his various adventures one snowy december  in which visions of taking aim with his new bb gun replaced that of sugarplums dancing in his head  shepards firsthand commentary of several situations is not only downright hilarious  but also witty and warm  with various metaphorical meanings that ring perfectly with the essence of comic timing  on top of that  young billingsleys stupefied reactions to each predicament is absolutely perfect in contrast with the narration  director bob clark captures the look and feel of the era with wonderful technicality  i can hardly imagine a more accurate depiction of what christmas for young ralphie must have been like  2  mom and dad  both melinda dillon  as mom  and darren mcgavin  as  the old man  are perfect in their roles  its hard to fathom a more agreeable pair for the requirements of a story like this one  with each possessing at least one memorable trait that instantly separates them from the wooden caricatures that could have been featured  for instance  he is a bloodthirsty turkey hound  and she is forgiving and understanding when it comes to some serious issues  in portraying the writer as a persistent but mildmannered young lad  peter billingsley has struck quite the chord  his performance is richly textured  making all of the humorous situations he stumbles into radiate with flavor and enjoyment  which brings us to     3  the comic situations  there are plenty of memorable moments in a christmas story  moments that undoubtedly will improve in comic potency upon each new viewing  with so much more to explore and to cherish  i am particularly partial of the  fword scene  in which ralphie blurts out the shocking fourletter obscenity while helping the old man in the yard  again  shepards method of handling this amusing scenario is nothing short of comic wizardry  the numerous sequences that stick in ones mind include  of course  the famous department store santa scene  in which billingsley has some problems in telling old saint nick what he wants under the tree  i could go on  but ill finish on this note  a christmas story is a standout among holiday movies  because it captures so much in a meager 90 minutes  not only is it funny  its often genuinely hilarious     not to mention warm  fluffy and touching in all the appropriate places  i plan on making a christmas story a christmas tradition  why dont you  
pos	in intolerance  d  w  griffith told four different historical stories at the same time  cutting from one to the other  each of the stories builds to a fastpaced climax  in magnolia  paul thomas anderson tells several stories each just tangentially connected to the others  yet the stories and where they are going are all independent  what is strange about these stories is that they are all synchronized  each story builds to a tense moment  or what appears to be intended to be a tense moment  but then lets the tension dissolve  while the tension dissipates one character starts singing a song and in each plotline the major characters sing along  even though they are not in the same scene  then toward the end the stories each build to a tense moment again  it is almost as if the characters are somehow psychically linked  this creates some strange effects  the stories are about empty desperate people with dysfunctional relationships  the strands have varying degrees of bizarre content  we have the story of a dying man earl partridge  jason robards  wanting to get in touch with his son and make amends  phil parma  philip seymour hoffman  is his nurse who is frantic to help partridge achieve his final goal  partridges young wife linda  julianne moore  is getting more and more anxious as partridge dies  but for an unsuspected reason  frank mackey  tom cruise  runs the kinds of selfhelp seminar that businesses like so much  but he aims his at teaching disaffected men how to be real shitheels in dealing with women in an angry backlash to womens lib  officer jim kurring  john c  reilly  is a patrolman who has a need to feel he is making the world a better place  jimmy gator  philip baker hall  hosts a popular childrens tv quiz show that really exploits and destroys children as we see from the stories of current quiz kid stanley spector  jeremy blackman  and former quiz kid donnie smith  william h  macy   the film juggles all these stories for over three hours  but even after all this time not one story is resolved satisfactorily  each story moves toward a single bizarre common climax  but it is not one that seems to do much but derail each story  the common climax itself is ambiguous in many ways and it fails to really tie up any of the stories  the film seems to be built around strange events and weird history  but it really has little to do with the content of the stories  though they all are connected in part by one weird event  magnolia will probably bring some much deserved attention to paul thomas anderson  though in my opinion his two previous films  hard eight and boogie nights were better told stories  it is interesting that one starts to look forward to actors from andersons company  john c  reilly seems to be a standard fixture  particularly notable is philip baker hall who gave a mesmerizing performance from the first scene of hard eight  here he several of the characters are mesmerizing  but that characteristic is not really used  as studies of characters these stories are each worth following  as wellrounded stories with a beginning  middle and end  they leave something to be desired  but the film is willing to do the unexpected and that helps make the film worth sitting through  i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  heavy spoiler    heavy spoiler    heavy spoiler    heavy spoiler    during the strange climactic event of the film we get multiple messages from the filmmaker that the event we are seeing really does happen  and in actual fact  it does  since biblical times rains of frogs have been interpreted as signs of displeasure of the gods  it is  however  a perfectly natural  if somewhat unnerving  phenomenon  the cause is associated with whirlwinds  we know that tornadoes over land can rip up land and even objects of some size from the ground and hurl them into the air  holding them aloft  the reader may remember the unfortunate cow in twister  smaller objects can be hurled high into the atmosphere and then be kept aloft by the updrafts for surprisingly long periods of time much as hail and chunks of ice are  when the whirlwind is over water  animals near the surface  frequently fish and frogs  may suffer the same fate  essentially they are vacuumed up by the whirlwind  held aloft by updrafts  and finally dropped elsewhere  so while the rain is possible  some doubts do creep in  the rain of frogs depicted in this film may be of greater scale than i had pictured for a rain of frogs  it seems unlikely the frogs would still be alive when dropped  it is not clear that geographic conditions are right for los angeles to have this sort of phenomenon   frankly i have no idea on these points   otherwise the event was quite believable  what we see in this film is much more credible than the phenomena we saw in volcano  in the film it is left ambiguous if the rain is a sign from god since there are many references to exodus 8  2   and the frogs shall come up both on thee and upon thy people  and upon all thy servants   however a rain of frogs  though it feels biblical  is most definitely not a biblical portent  note that the previous verse says  and the river shall bring forth frogs abundantly which shall go up      so the bible is referring not to a rain but to an infestation from the river  the only other reference to frogs in the bible is as a symbol for uncleanness in revelation 16  13  
pos	contact is the 1997 movie ive seen the most  five times to be exact  four of those times were on the big screen  but even on a tv  its a very impressive film  the same cant be said for films like independance day  but thats because contact is a rare example in scifi filmmaking where the story is treated more importantly than the special effects  and all of us know looking back that id4 didnt offer much outside of some onetime delightful eye candy  contacts wonderfully presented story deals with ellie arroway  jodie foster   a radio astronomer whose preference of study involves the outdated technique of  merely listening  to sounds out in space  her interest in the field of astronomy developed at a very young age  encouraged by her loving father  ted  david morse   who let ellie use a small ham radio to pick up on frequencies and communicate with people as far away as pensacola  fl  that was  of course  before the days of internet chat rooms   while everyone else uses modern technologies to aid them in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence  of which the program seti is an acronym for   ellie prefers to pop on a pair of headphones and see what she can pick up on  keeping the youthful magic and intrigue strongly alive  ellies strong scientific basis essentially makes her an atheist  a belief likely influenced by the death of her father while she was still quite young  in puerto rico  she meets palmer joss  matthew mcconaughey   a writer examining the effects of technology on the worlds overall happiness  a one time seminary student who describes himself as  a man of the cloth  without the cloth   despite the vast differences in opinion regarding a  supreme being   ellie and palmer hit it off  and even take the time to sleep together  its a weak and hurried relationship  but director zemeckis needs it to add to the plot later on  meanwhile  dr  david drumlin  tom skerritt   who has authority over seti but finds the program a frivolous waste of time and money  is ready to pull the plug on any and all seti funding  this leaves the passionate ellie searching for new sponsors  eventually finding a setup in new mexico and leaving palmer with no explanation  and only a one night stand to remember  it is in this nm city where  several months later  ellie finally picks up on a strong signal from outer space  perhaps the most profound discovery in the history of science  when the signal is closely examined  many new developments spring up  and before long  drumlin is stepping in to take over the operation he once scoffed at  eventually  it is concluded that information in the signal may be blueprints for a transportation device used to teleport an earthling to vega  where the signal seems to have originated   the media swarms  fanatics go further off the deep end  scientists clamor for new information  politicians huddle in discussion of appropriate actions to take  and presidents are morphed into a celluloid reality  remember when zemeckis couldnt get enough of this in forrest gump    as if that werent enough  ellies discovery leads her to the nations capital where she again runs into palmer  contact is based on the novel by carl sagan and deals heavily with the subject of science vs  religion  the impressive thing is how well both aspects are presented  with no signs of bias  arguments for both sides are intelligent  solid  and thoughtprovoking  when palmer joins a selection committee to choose an ambassador to vega  of which ellie is a leading candidate   personal convictions play a more important role than love interests  the question is  can a person who doesnt believe in god truly be the best representative of earth when 90 of the planet  does  believe in a higher power  even when the film wraps up  its uncertain whether its meant to play as an advocate for religion  science  both  or even neither  and in our modern day society where  right and wrong  is only opinion  at least speaking  politically correctly    the ambiguity is an incentive  dont get me wrong  as much as it sounds like it  contact isnt merely a theology class rolled into a reel of film  its a  highly  enjoyable two and a half hours  despite its seemingly heavy issues  its not a tedious undertaking to watch this film  the special effects are outstanding  though  warning   highly depreciated on the small screen  even so  some of the subtle visual effects  that will likely go unnoticed by many  are even more impressive than ones more recognizable as  scifi   the storytelling is rich and complete  and although there are moments in the film that feel quite pretentious  and at times  even hokey   its easily one of the best 1997 films  and one of the best scifi films ive ever seen  this is zemeckis best since back to the future  and for those of us who actually know that forrest gump was astronomically overrated  zemeckis now has real reason to boast  
pos	roberto benigni is a clown in the tradition of chaplin and keaton  this italian film star  best known in the united states for the poorly received son of the pink panther  has done the near impossible by creating a comic fable about the holocaust  but benignis life is beautiful  la vita e bella  is not so much a story of the holocaust as it uses that monstrous outrage against humanity as a backdrop to tell a story of familial love  devotion and sacrifice  the movie starts out as a typical slapstick farce with benignis guido arriving in the small tuscan town of arezzo in 1938 to fulfill his dream of owning a bookstore  like many of the slapstick clowns who preceded him  most notably the almostforgotten harry langdon  benignis guido has a childlike innocence  he ignores the growing antisemitism of the fascist government  instead  guido ardently falls in love and persues dora  a local school teacher who already is engaged to a local fascist official  in benignis tightly wound script this is the same fascist official with whom guido had an earlier unfortunate  yet slapstick  encounter  guido wins dora  they marry  fast forward about five years  guido  dora  and their 5yearold son  giosue   giorgio cantarini  are a happy family  guido has finally fulfilled his dream of opening a bookstore  but racial and antisemitic tensions are on the rise in italy  and guido has determined to do his best to shield his son from these harsh realities  the task becomes even the more difficult when the family is deported to a concentration camp  here  guido must use all his skill and imagination not only to shield his son  but to keep him from being exterminated  it is at this juncture in life is beautiful may tend to offend those whom the holocaust has touched  for the scenes in the concentration camp lack the horror  the pain  the unimaginable suffering of a schindlers list  true  many italian jews were not deported until the war was nearly over  and most were not sent to the death camps  but to work camps where they were used as slave labor  unlike steven spielberg  benigni is not out to tell the story of the holocaust  his story is about family and the lengths a parent will go to protect a child  for guido  to save his son  transforms the entire experience into an elaborate game  giosue  must follow the rules without question to amass 1  000 points  the winner takes home a tank  therefore  guido tells him  he must remain hidden in the barracks  he cannot make a sound nor allow the guards to see him  guido explains this during a hilarious sequence when a german guard barks the camp instructions to the newly arrived inmates  guido  lying that he understands german and can translate for his fellow prisoners  instead lays down the rules for his son to allow him a chance to survive  throughout their imprisonment  guidos quick thinking continually keeps his son from harms way  ultimately  the allies rescue the camp  in a poignant scene  giosue  comes out of hiding just as an american tank rolls into the compound  the boy goes wideeyed with wonderment and delight  thinking he has won the game  the price for his victory is most high  benigni has succeeded in using the blackest moment in human history to prove that even in hell  a ray of hope and salvation can penetrate the darkness  life is beautiful is a fantasy  a fable  it is not to be taken as a record of the holocaust  those who object to it are missing its point  and that is simply where there is hope  where there is life and where there is love  the spark of humanity will never be extinguished  committed to lifelong learning through effective communication 
pos	larry flynt is a self proclaimed smut pedlar and the ownerpublisher of the multimillion dollar hustler publications company  the people vs  larry flynt is the story of larry flynts fight for the freedom to circulate and sell his pornographic magazine  hustler  based on a true story  the film is almost a documentary in that its a very vivid and detailed look at larry flynts life  woody harrelson gives an excellent performance  he conveys flynts peculiarities and his character with depth and focus  by the end of the film the audience actually finds themselves  somewhat grudgingly  liking larry flynt  this is some feat given flynts apparent lack of any morals or ethics and his extremely smutty and childish behaviour in court  however  flynt has a number of things going for him  hes rich  hes funny  and most importantly  he says exactly what he means  larry flynts wife  althea leasure is played by courtney love  larry meets althea at one of his clubs  and they fall in love  a very sexual and open love   both of them indulge in a world of too much sex  and eventually too much drugs  flynt had been taking an excessive amount of pain killers after being paralysed from the waist down  which was especially upsetting for him  by an assassin  althea had joined him in taking the drugs  following an operation flynt decides to stop taking drugs  althea does not have any such plans  nor the determination to follow them  as the film progresses we see her become increasingly frail and sick  courtney love obviously has a great understanding for altheas situation  as she is brilliant in portraying althea in every respect  its extremely sad to watch althea literally wither away  edward norton plays flynts lawyer  alan isaacman  again  this is a solid performance  the audience finds it easy to sympathise with isaacman who somehow puts up with flynts courtroom antics  flynt is not only childish in the courtroom  but downright rude to the judges  and lands himself in a lot of trouble  and even in a mental institution  because of it  isaacman is very easy to like  and great at proving  in quite clever ways  his points to the court  milos forman has done a great job in directing the people vs  larry flynt  it is not really an exciting or thrilling film  but instead a highly interesting portrayal of a true story  due to larrys character it is also  at times  a very funny film  however  it is much more than that  it is about the fight for freedom of speech  anticensorship  and the right to be able choose for oneself what to see and buy  an excellent look at flynt  his life  and his story  keep a look out for the real larry flynt who makes a cameo as judge morrissey  
pos	virtual reality is a topic that has almost defined its own genre  since dark city  1998   films about alternative universes and parallel worlds have been coming one after another  the most popular and original of them all has been the matrix  all the films released after it  have been less successful  david cronenbergs existenz  released only a couple of months after the matrix  was accepted and even appreciated  by some   but the hype was gone  and when the thirteenth floor aired this fall  it was completely overseen and ignored  i admit that this issue has become something between tiring and annoying  feeling like eating the same meal over and over again  it was therefore i was less than excited  when i went out to see to the thirteenth floor  however  i was positively surprised by josef rusnaks latest picture  matrix was an entertaining thrill ride through dreams and reality  combining the best of hollywoods action and effects with an intelligent story  existenz was a violent  gory and unsettling journey through reality and virtual reality  ending in blood and madness  the thirteenth floor is somewhere in between  instead of going after the crowds  the action audience  like the matrix   or aiming at the horror fans  like existenz   the thirteenth floor presents a more intelligent plot  witch will provide a less entertaining and more serious experience  that the true science fiction lovers will find rewarding  in a near future    on the thirteenth floor of a classified building  a genius scientist  hannon fuller  has created a simulated world  his personal dreamworld  where every inhabitant is a complex  selflearning program that only believes it is real  right after the first testing of this world  fuller   is found murdered  douglas hall    his closest friend and business partner  immediately becomes the prime suspect and must enter through the thirteenth floor in search of the truth  a beautiful woman  gretchen mol  who suddenly appears on the scene may hold the key to the mystery  which might unravel the horrifying truth about his own existence  the first  download into simulation  is impressive  it is the creators first visit to his world  his creation  in order to enter this virtual universe  you have to take over someones identity  become another person  this is called conciseness transfer  and this is part of the tragedy in the film  people  wake up  in unknown places and strange things start happen  they start to doubt in their own sanity  these innocent people pay for the mistakes of their  users  and creators with their sanity and their lives  it is a frightening reality  the fact that all the people in the simulation  the program links  are living out their lives  oblivious  not knowing that they are puppets in someones fantasy  with an appealing   blade runner   type  of detective story  this film presents the beauty and possibilities of virtual reality and the lurking danger that is always present  our modern world is metal and glass  cold  unfriendly  impersonal  the thirties are different  colorful  beautiful  elegant  virile  this contrast demonstrates a wish for change  virtual reality is here portrayed as a magical  enchanting power that seduces you into its endless possibilities  to some it is just a journey to their personal paradise  to some a personal playground  a life without any consequences  for others  a way to start over and  correct  their mistakes  by living in an illusion of their past  virtual reality is a wizard that transforms your hopes  dreams and fantasies to life  at least thats how it is all beginning  but when youre waking up from your dream  the real world seems worthless and unreal and all you can think off is returning to your personal paradise  this  almost narcotic effect  soon turns into confusion and ultimately madness  some important and interesting philosophical questions are raised  what is real  what is thought  who are we  if these were answered  this film would be the greatest science fiction ever made  they are off course not answered  but posed in an intelligent manner  the visual aspect of the film is one of the key elements  since it portrays the contrast between these computersimulated universes  kirk m  petrucelli has done a marvelous job with the recreation of the thirties with its glamour  grace and color  and setting this world in opposition to our own  an almost caricatured recreation of the nineties  there are some honest and decent performances by an almost unknown cast and harald kloses moody musical score that is at in right place at the right time  a rather unusual thing aboutthe thirteenth floor is the almost complete lack of special effects  there are no cgi animated creatures  no bullets in slow motion  this is a more philosophical approach  reminding about the european way of filmmaking  this is off course a major disappointment to the audience that is used to endless gunfights and mutated amphibians  but the more serious science fiction buffs and dark cityfans will be pleased  this film is interesting and inspiring  it has everything existenz doesnt  but it lacks the immediacy and intensity of the matrix  and then there is a happy end which  like in dark city  completely alienates it from the rest of the story and context  the plot itself is not as original as the filmmakers want us to think  since they have virtually sucked out all information from the best science fiction classics  including blade runner and dark city  with this in mind  the thirteenth floor doesnt make an oscar candidate or a film that will be remembered a year from now  yet this is a beautiful  elegant and intelligent take on virtual reality  
pos	i dont know what movie the critics saw  but it wasnt this one  the popular consensus among newspaper critics was that this movie is unfunny and dreadfully boring  in my personal opinion  they couldnt be more wrong  if you were expecting airplane  like laughs and agatha christieintense mystery  then yes  this movie would be a disappointment  however  if youre just looking for an enjoyable movie and a good time  this is one to see  honest  it is  this story is about a 4th network  wbn  taking to americas airwaves in 1939  penny henderson  mary stuart masterson   the station owners secretary  must deal with her overbearing boss  an unimpressed sponsor and writers ready to quite on a moments notice  partly due to the fact that they havent been paid in weeks  among the mayhem  she must also deal with her soontobe exhusband  roger  brian benben  who desperately wants her back  unfortunately  her problems only get worse as the night goes on and the body count rises without explanation  while trying to woo penny back  roger must deal with the police and try to find the killer that lurks at wbn  mary stuart masterson does well in her role as penny  im trying to be unbiased so i wont tell you how amazing she looked   although brian benben gets most of the screen time  along with the two leads  are several recognizable faces  including corbin bernsen  l  a  law   michael mckean  laverne  shirley  and bobcat goldthwait  the special effects are amazing  and fooled me  which some may argue isnt very difficult to do  in many scenes  although the movie sometimes goes overboard with the physical comedy  it more than makes up for those mistakes throughout the movie  overall  i gave it  or an  depending on what system you use  some comments collected from friends  
pos	it was with great trepidation that i approached mary  the farrelly brothers latest film  i knew the film would be funnythe trailer alone had me laugh harder than the actual comedy i went to see  but i also knew the film would be an equalopportunity offender  attacking the sensibilities of the politically correct with reckless abandon  i figured the film would be raunchy  maybe another lucky escapee from nc17 hell  i may laugh  but would i feel better in the morning  i neednt have worried  mary is the sweetest  warmest  allout laughandgrossfest this side of animal house  surprisingly  the farrelly brothers have walked that very tight line of making a touching romantic comedy on the side  and filling the details with five or six outrageous howlers  they make laughter  the toughest job for a filmmaker to do  look easy  the plot is typical  thirteen years ago  geeky ted  ben stiller  lucked out in having dazzling mary  cameron diaz  go with him to the senior prom  as luck would have it  on that very day  he was hospitalized  why  i shall not tell  but i assure you  it isnt pretty  he hires a private investigator to find her  pat healy  matt dillon   he becomes one of the great comic villains  upon finding her  he too is lovestruck  and so pursues her  lying about his occupation and getting his teeth capped  it is only a matter of time before ted finds out that he had been doublecrossed  and goes to get her for himself  would the geek get the girl  puhlease  the ending is pure hollywood  no surprises there  but the absolute joy in this film is how this simple premise allows for humor in zippers  hair gel  the mentally disabled  the physically handicapped  interracial marriages  homosexuals  skin conditions  serial killers  tanning  and druggedup dogs  the dog on speed sequence alone is worth the price of admission  and belongs in the film comedy hall of fame  and yet  for all the targets that are hit  the film maintains its sweet tone  mary  playing the straight role  is as sweet and caring as she is beautiful  she is totally devoted to caring for her mentally handicapped brother  warren  w  earl brownmiles away from the cameraman in scream   marys sunniness carries the film hereit compliments the belowbelt gags that come at you  cameron diaz makes her totally charming  and the audience respects her  even though women in general do not usually undress before an open window  ben stiller also fares very well  totally changing his image from his reality bites and flirting with disaster straight men to being a   how to say it    a complete loser  braces  greasy long hair  not too bright  and very very funny  dillon is exceptionally creepy  especially with his capped teeth  and rounding out the cast is teds friend dom  chris elliot   tanning addict magda  lin shaye   modern troubadorgreek chorus ron lichman  and marys sweet mom  markie post  where has she been     not everything works  chris elliots role  skin blemishes and all  becomes merely tasteless and boring  theres lousy dialogue about eightminute vs  seven minute exercise tapes  and there are long stretches without much going on  but the wait is worth it  when those extraordinary sequences hit  the entire theater erupted with howls  tears  bellyaches  that in some sequences carried over to the following scene  the farrelly brothers have finally done it  yes  there are some raunchy bits  but when it is all over  its not nearly as bad as it could have been  while tasteless  it didnt cross any lines  at least not with me  while raunchy  it wasnt nearly as bad as porkys or boogie nights  and it is sweet enough to be considered a date flick  after the funny but sour kingpin left a negative aftertaste in my palate  comes the funniest sex farce since a fish called wanda  approach this with an open mind  and you will reap the benefits hugely  
pos	a standoff  a man holds a woman  a diplomats daughter  hostage in his embrace  a gun pressed to her head  a cop  impaired by drink due to his wifes philandering  trains his gun on the mans nether regions  threatening to shoot  another cop holds his gun to his partners temple  forcing him to disarm  the scene unfolds like a foursome bidding in bridgeupping the ante  signaling tacitly  going for game  the second cop retrieves the first cops weapon  the suspect lowers his  and the woman caught in the middle movesin slow motionto safety  it is then that the intoxicated officer makes his move  grabbing for the assailants gun  the room turns upside down  a shot rings out  a cop is down  shot in the back and paralyzed for life  the young man who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time is sent to prison for six years for a crime he didnt commit  storytelling has always been one of pedro almod  vars greatest gifts and in  live flesh  he gives us a twisting  turning  compelling tale peppered with wellwritten  colorful characters  characters who find themselves  more often than not  in carefullyconstructed scenes like these  characters played by actors we might not know  but who look strikingly familiar nevertheless  take the ruggedly handsome victor plaza  liberto rabal   for instance  before he gets out of prison he could easily be mistaken for that almod  var favorite  antonio banderas  when we first meet elena  francesca neri   the woman in the middle of the nervous shakedown  she looks like spice girl barbie with her frizzy shock of orange hair  but later tones down her look sufficiently to pass for juliette lewis  elenas husband david  javier bardem  is the cop crippled in the shooting and he wears david schwimmers bemused expression throughout  playing the inebriated cop and his cheating wife are jos  sancho and angela molinano lookalikes spring to mind  but they round out the excellent cast  its a credit to almod  vars craft that these five individuals cross paths and intertwine with such credulity   live flesh  begins and ends with a live birth and the films contradictions come almost as often as the contractions  between the two childbearings  coincidence  irony  and a hefty dollop of sex form the key elements of this thoroughly entertaining film  although based on a ruth rendell story   live flesh  is brimming with the acclaimed spanish directors highheeled flourishes  women are at times alluring and repulsive  their extravagant hairdos and animal print coats providing colorful highlights to the intricatelywoven drama  an eye bruised by an abusive husband here  a mouth bloodied by an impromptu delivery there  while in prison  victor learns bulgarian from an inmate and learns to love the bible  quoting from deuteronomy thereafter not unlike the way by which david and sancho refer to themselves as  guardians of a sick flock   victors prefab inheritance is a shambles in a slum resembling sarajevo   dear son  i got cancer  his mother writes to him in jail  she dies before he is released and its at the cemetery that victor is reacquainted with elenaredemption  ultimately  substituting for revenge  
pos	with stars like sigourney weaver   alien  trilogy  and academy award winner holly hunter  the piano  raising arizona  etc   together in a single hollywood production  one would immediately identify the film as a potential academy award hot shot  sadly for copycat  though tightly scripted and nicely plot  is still at heart  a typical hollywood thriller  helen  weaver   after a traumatic near death encounter with a serial killer  darryl  harry connick jr    has developed a phobia for being outdoors  so to speak  incidentally  helen is also an expert on the subject of serial killers  which make her a juicy target for serial killer wannabes  a year has passed and strange deaths begin to terrorise the city of san francisco  detective monahan  hunter  and getz  mulroney   baffled by the unorthodox methods of killing used by the killer  seeks the professional help of helen  who  as expected was reluctant at first  copycat  borrows  a lot from silence of the lambs and in most cases  it did work  but copycat tries to be a little bit more by immersing the audience into the lives of its main characters to give them more believability  this was rather unnecessary as the scenes seem to disrupt the mood of the entire film and also    much of the time wasted couldve been used to build up the suspense and injected with drama  even so  weaver and hunter act very well in their own departments    weaver being the vulnerable yet strongwithin character  as in aliens  and hunter being the short  tough  texan speaking cop  as in raising arizona   harry connick jr   a very good jazz singer  shines as the imprisoned serial killer a la hannibal lecter  which comes to the moment of judgement  drum roll please      copycat is a good thriller  although the plot is highly predictable and one can actually predict the rest of the movie after about 45 minutes into the show  copycat survives from the moments of anticipation where the audience are held on to their seats  in anticipation of the killers next immediate move  this worked pretty well and will offer audiences a couple of unexpected jolts  nice movie to bring your girlfriend to     
pos	no  it is not a bad film  in fact it is so good in achieving its purpose  i actually wished for the film to end itself quickly  event horizon is not your runofthemill scifi film  im sure many who have watched this will agree with me  it is not even original in that sense  and it does borrow heavily from films like alien  hellraiser and even blade runner  the magic of this film lies in its unorthodox setting and methodical buildup that makes it wonderfully horrifying  the story brings us to the year 2050  where space travel have since enormously progressed  the event horizon is actually a ship built for a secret experimental purpose  it has the ability to fold time and space thus making it possible for travelling distances not reachable in a mans lifetime  the ship disappeared as soon as it went into operation but after 7 years  it reappeared again within the orbit of neptune  a search and rescue team led by miller  fishburne  is given the task to check for survivors of the event horizon  the designer of the ship  dr  weir  neill  follows along to satisfy his curiosity on what actually happened to his otherwise technologically impressive ship  event horizon is a scifi horror film  much truer to the word than say  alien would ever be  while in alien  the crew has to cope with a ferocious creature while encased within tight spaces  in event horizon  the forces which goes against the crew is undefined but yet so powerful and horrifying  the story unfolds itself slowly and the suspense buildup is superb  up till the point where i really felt like saying out loud enough  i cant stand this anymore    there are more than enough jolts to send your adrenalin pumping overtime  the story in itself is not exactly something very exciting and also  the acting is only at most  average by most commercial standards  even so  the essence of horror is carried out very well in this film  thanks to its wellpaced storytelling  disturbing set designs and some really gory sequences  which incidentally  has been quite generously removed by our censorship board   director paul anderson  who did mortal kombat  and his team of atmosphere creators have done well in keeping event horizon within the bounds of the term horror  this picture did not do very well in the us boxoffice most probably for the dreadfactor impact it has on most audiences  people will not see it again and not many would recommend their friend to watch this  although on the face of it  event horizon is mostly molded for massentertainment  many thrills  spills and suspense to keep audiences in focus  however  the offbeat horror element which it ultimately convey audiences is very disturbing  my friend and i could not say a word to each other for quite a while after going through the experience of event horizon  i guess it was just the immense feeling of dread which the film had cast upon us  be forewarned  this film is not for the fainthearted nor for pure entertainment  be prepared to be disturbed if you should decide to watch this film  event horizon is highly recommended   but at your own risk  it has been a long time since goodhorror embraced the big screen  and event horizon is one  
pos	capsule  earthy  experimental  difficult  shockingly frank  even for 1997    and ultimately refreshing story of a black man on the run from the cops  the first few minutes of sweet sweetbacks baad asssss song  yes  i checked  thats the correct number of ss  are without dialogue  just eerie montages of sounds  a young boy  obviously malnourished  is taken in and fed up by several loving mothersurrogate figures  then one of them takes the boy to bed for a sexual initation  underneath the title credits  thats far more confrontatory and shocking than any ten basic instincts  probably because it has the directness and clumsiness of real life  something were not used to seeing on screen  this is one tough movie to swallow  no matter who you are  but that probably reflects more on how pallid and unchallenging movies have gotten lately   i suspect the sex scenes in movies like el topo and salo would probably melt the synapses of most modern audiences   the plot is simple but not simpleminded  sweetback  hassled by two white cops who are apparently just looking for an excuse to beat up on a black man  breaks his bonds and runs like hell  along the way he moves through a good many of the kinds of environments that we are only just now being seen in a more serious light in the movies  or at all  for that matter  the slums  the missions  the ghetto  in other  lesser  movies  sweetback would be machinegunning everything in sight and the end credits would roll over a pile of bodies  in this one  we get taken on a kind of a tour of the depressing and anarchic world that sweetback takes for granted  ssbas first appeared in 1971 and was promptly rated x   by an allwhite jury   as director melvin van peebles crowed in his legendary ad campaigns   and its hardly surprising why  theres a good deal of sex in the movie  but its handled in a way thats unsettlingly frank  a frankness that spills over into the rest of the movie  in one scene  sweetback visits a friends house in the hope of getting sanctuary there  and the other man chats him up while on the toilet  were not used to coming this close to people in real life  let alone in the movies  especially not people who are not made out to be glamorous  the movie is also full of experimental stylistics that are relatively unused today  but probably because of that seem curiously fresh and new in van peebles hands  one scene  in which a man is interrogated by the cops  is loaded full of menacing energy as they fire off a gun inches from his ears  and suggest his deafness through a cleverly edited soundtrack  another note  ssbas is not so much antiwhite  that would be too easy  as antiauthority  and as the movie goes on to demonstrate  authority exists in many forms  governments  churches  and even the paranoid inside of ones own mind  ssbas is ultimately about thirsting for freedom  and it looks like we could use a little more of that in our movie diet  god knows  
pos	a fully loaded entertainment review  website coming in july  i didnt really expect very much when i rented stuart saves his family  the movie bombed at the box office  and i had never really liked the saturday night live sketch on which the movie was based  my real concern  though  was the general reputation of snlrelated movies translating to the big screen with lessthanstellar results  halfbaked  anyone   i was surprised to discover a truly entertaining  often hilarious yet also touching little film  it is an al franken production throughandthrough  who not only created the title character but also wrote and starred in the picture  for those of you who dont know  al franken plays a guy named stuart smalley  who has a really annoying show on a publicaccess station about increasing your selfesteem  etc  although not a licensed therapist  stuart smalley is  as the program proudly boasts   a graduate of several 12step programs   stuart is doing well enough with his tv show  but he keeps getting distracted by family troubles  stuarts relatives are a mess  his dad and brother  harris yulin and vincent donofrio  respectively  are alcoholics  his sister is overweight and getting over another divorce  and his mom is in constant selfdenial and solves all perceived problems by baking  then  disaster strikes  stuart accidentally insults the manager of the station and gets his show revoked  he is forced to move back in with his family after he can no longer support himself  and there the comedy truly picks up  franken wrote all of the characters not just as cliches or stereotypes  but as sharplydrawn  real people  although smalleys dad has always imbibed too much  stuart can still recall times when his father seemed like an okay guy  also  after an accident towards the end of the movie  both stuart and the audience learn that there is more to his mother than previously thought  although filled with small  very funny scenes  stuart saves his family also has its share of dramatic moments  especially towards the conclusion  for a lightweight comedy  it handles these scenes especially well  often better than many socalled  serious dramas  of today  all the more amazing is that such a movie comes from a saturday night live sketch that is essentially a onejoke bit  if you feel like renting a comedy  and you havent seen this film  i definitely recommend you try this one out  youll laugh    youll cry     its all there  
pos	 oh my god  i sounded just like a mother   mrs  pascal  played with devilish wickedness by genevieve bujold  tells her son   didnt i sound just like a mother    you are a mother   her son marty tells her disgustedly   i know  but i still cant believe it  i look at you people and wonder  how did you ever fit in my womb   marty  you see  is a grownup twin  although his sister  who thinks she is jackieo  is certifiably insane  marty fits right in with the rest of this highly dysfunctional family in the witty black comedy the house of yes  mother and daughter  played in a brilliant performance by parker posey  are both varying degrees of wacko  most dysfunctional families in the movies are more angry and meanspirited than diabolically abnormal as this one is  the daughters fantasy of being jackieo is probably the most sane part of her being  mrs  pascal is the sort that will not let jackieo keep a hairbrush downstairs since food is kept on that level  she explains to martys new fiancee  lesly  tori spelling   soon after their first meeting that jackieo was holding martys private part when she came out of the womb  the dialog by wendy macleod  based on the play by mark waters  is so sharp and biting that it seems in danger of cutting through the celluloid at any moment  the script  reminiscent of a david mamet play  flows smoothly with its fast paced intelligence and mesmerizing set of bizarre characters  the exaggerated setup has lesly and marty arriving at the familys out of the way mansion during a thanksgiving day hurricane  in this storm are two sane individuals  the fiancee is a giddy  schoolgirl type  embarrassed by everything  a complete contrast to her rival jackieos bitter pseudosophistication  as the two twins younger brother  anthony  freddie prinze jr  plays the allamerica boy type whose only foible is his explicit obsession of bedding his brothers fiancee that night   we all have our secrets   jackieo tells her potential sisterinlaw  and boy  does she have a few  this is a house filled with them   when lesly calls it the familys  home  to mrs  pascal  theyve never had a visitor before lesly  mrs  pascal becomes discombobulated until she realizes that lesly is talking about their  house    in a film that gives new meaning to the phrase   made for each other   the twins biggest  but not their only secret  is that theyve had a longterm incestuous relationship  they dont like to discuss it  although they are not particularly ashamed of it  perfect for viewers who can appreciate perverse comedy  this story never pulls its punches  jackieo tries in many ways  few subtle  to show that she is a better match for marty than that ditzy fiancee of his  in one scene marty and lesly are playing chop sticks together on the piano when jackieo pushes her aside and starts playing a challenging classical piece for four hands  marty joins her as his fiancee looks on with envy  the chemistry between parker posey and josh hamilton is nothing short of amazing  they put down their little brother and most of the other sane people in the world  their ripostes are engaging filmmaking at its best  director mark waters keeps the shows energy level high and lets the leads sling zingers at each other at a furious pace  his crisp direction ensures the movie has nary an ounce of fat on it  jackieo is temperamentally incapable of being nice  and being jealous  she cuts lesly down mercilessly   were you poor   jackieo asks her when she finds that lesly committed the crime of growing up impoverished   did you eat pies  chicken pot pies    pancakes actually  lots of pancakes   lesly replies with her usual sincerity   a donut king  so is she like the queen    jackieo cattily inquires of marty when she learns that lesly works at a donut king   are we entertaining royalty   with rolfe kents whimsically sinister music it never seems clear where the story is headed  will it end in a big emotional explosion  a murder  people slowly cutting each other up with words  a familial catharsis  a weather disaster or what  the emotionally charged play is clearly going somewhere  and the engaging characters captivate the audience with their spell  ill not say more except that the ending is perfect and a bit of a surprise  the house of yes runs a blazing fast 1  25  it is rated r for sexual situations and conversations  mature themes  violent overtones and some profanity  the movie would be fine for older and mature teenagers  i  e   treat the movie as it were rated nc17  
pos	i dont know how many other people have had the idea cross their mind that their life could be an ongoing television show watched by another world of people  but its something i used to wonder about when i was younger  i cant decide if i first thought it because i watched a lot of tv or because my brother hit me in the head with a baseball bat  but im pretty sure andrew niccol  screenwriter for the truman show  has had the same curious thought  the truman show is about a man  jim carrey  whose entire life has been engineered by a corporation and marketed to the public  since birth  hes been living in the fictional island town of seahaven  fla   which actually exists as a giant domed set just beyond the hollywood sign  all the people in truman burbanks life are actors  and the anonymous townfolk paid extras  people watch trumans life 24 hours a day  live  with no commercial interruptions  revenue comes instead from product placement  a staple of contemporary hollywood  with trumans friends and relatives describing their consumer items in cheerful and optimistic tones  the sun rises and sets on cue and everyone likes everyone else  even if you havent seen the truman show  youve probably learned most of the crucial details from the commercials  the trailer and other promotion blitzes  if anything ive written so far is a surprise to you  then i pity you for making me a primary source for your entertainment news  either way  you should probably know the premise of the truman show going into it  because otherwise youll probably think it sucks  it begins with jim carrey looking into a mirror  reciting the crucial  eat me  scene from alive  wishing his neighbors a good day  afternoon and evening  and living in domestic bliss with his wife  laura linney   but weird things start happening  a stage light comes falling out of the sky  truman hears people tracking his movements on the radio and he swears he sees his dead father  we learn through a flashback that his father drowned when truman was a child  sailing through a rainstorm  the death was staged by director christof  ed harris   who wanted to put a fear of water into truman to keep him from leaving the island  similar cruel manipulations keep him from stumbling upon the truth  not the least of them trumans best friend marlon  noah emmerich   who assures him hes not in on any conspiracy because the last thing hed ever do is hurt him  as trumans trusting eyes tear over  christof fades up emotional synthesizer music for a worldwide audience of people who apparently never watch anything else  theres even a daily behindthescenes update from harry shearer that captures the highlights of trumans existence  the key to a movie like this is in finding the right balance between humor and drama  because a premise like this has its obvious implications in both directions  and it all hinges on carrey  who has to balance comic naivet with a real sense of longing and drive to find out what the hell is going on  hes come a long way from talking butt cheeks in ace ventura  most fundamentally  its just plain interesting to follow along as director peter weir shows us just how they can capture a persons life without the person realizing it  how they coordinate extras  hide cameras and feed automatic lines to actors  the most interesting thing about the truman show is that most of us can probably imagine some ambitious director pitching a show like this  sure  the most interesting tv genre of the 90s has been reality programming and jerry springers popularity is through the roof  but those people deserve to be humiliated for turning their intimate details over to the airwaves  and when news shows use hidden cameras  its done in the name of the greater good  not entertainment  but merge the two and youve got the truman show  right now  its implausible  i mean  the fcc wont let you say the sword on the air  do you think theyd let you broadcast every detail of a mans life to the entire world without his consent  one day  though  it could happen  and  even though it would mean the end of privacy  people would eat it up  you know they would  
pos	no filmmaker deconstructs a story as well as atom egoyan  im referring  specifically  to the narrative form  in the sweet hereafter  egoyan tells his story in a similar framework to his exotica or the adjuster  said story  of a fatal school bus accident in the small town of sam dent  british columbia  that shatters the morale of the locals  is told in a most unstraightforward manner  when the film opens  the accident has already happened  and stephens  the wonderful holm   a polite ambulancechaser  has arrived with the promise of a lawsuit that will eek out the truth of what really occurred that fateful morning  throughout  we get to meet the parents of the dead  broken souls who follow stephens like  the pied piper   passages of which are read during the film   but there is one living passenger  the paralyzed nicole  polley   whose dark secrets of a life before the accident may affect her decision to testify  we finally do see the accident  about three quarters into the film  which is a stunning visual effect  a horrific long take that shows the bus sliding  then stopping  then collapsing into a frozen lake  is the best digital trickery in any movie this year and  perhaps  ever  in a motion picture  the fractured narrative also intercuts a preoccupied stephens on an airplane  traveling to meet his hivpositive runaway daughter  as well as glimpses of the artificially happy lives these people led preaccident  i have a problem not with the story or story structure  but with egoyans heavy handedness behind the camera  for the first hour or so  i can quite honestly say i was on the verge of tears  these are miserable  miserable people  but thats just the problem  so anguished are these folk that sympathy wanes after a while  when a lot of sadness becomes too much  also  a subplot involving incest rings untrue  perhaps it wouldnt feel so contrived if it werent shot in such a tasteful manner  there are two characters who are father and daughter  when they first appeared i thought they were lovers  i was halfright  nevertheless its worthseeing  the delightful critic geoff pevere recently wrote that  american films are about action  canadian films are about consequences   hence a recent wave of films about the effects of shock and death from toronto directors  including crash and kissed  the sweet hereafter is much better than either of these two films  simply because its not boring or  in the case of kissed  afraid of its own material  necrophilia   egoyan is a fine  fine  postmodern storyteller  whose work is entertaining  edgy and smart  if a bit too intellectual at times  though i harped on the weightiness of the material  i was always absorbed  engrossed  and surprised by the sweet hereafter  
pos	i know what i would do with 4  4 million if i found it in a previously undiscovered airplane crash site  especially if i were with jacob and lou   huh   well  in any event  that is the situation hank  paxton  finds himself in  he and his dimwitted brother jacob  thorton  and tubby friend lou  brent briscoe  come upon a large bag of cash inside a plane wreck  against his better judgement  hank decides to go along with the idea of keeping it rather than going to the authorities  the rest of the film is a question of who is going to die to keep this a secret  and is it worth it  a simple wish lies along the lines of very bad things  clay pigeons and even fargo  and is kind of wrapped all into one little dark bundle  oh  and its much better than any of those  sam raimi took a departure from his normal freakshow horrormonkey films and made this stylish and intriguing picture  he really lets the audience sit back and watch the events unfold rather than force them down our throats as many directors prefer to do  i think raimi knew he had a winner on his hands and decided to direct the picture on a natural flowing course  one of the films components can be linked to a recurring theme in terrence malicks the thin red line  in malicks three hour boreathon  he makes an interesting attempt to link mother earth to his war story  it seemed nothing more than an occasional pretty cut to a field of flowing grass  a small bird  or a flowing body of water  sure  there were obvious metaphorical connections  but there was no subtlty to his efforts  raimi does a fine job of tying in a fox in a chicken coop and birds of prey to signify the future of the characters  i think most viewers may miss the comparison  but it is a very intriguing ingredient in the film  and then theres billy bob thorton  who is proof that the independent film industry is vital to the life blood of hollywood  if it can continute to produce people like thorton  hollywood will be ok  he gives a fantastic and devastatingly deep performance here  it is not as engrossing as his carl childers character in slingblade  but is is just as complex  if not more so  jacob is slow and simple  and yet we so often see him deep in thought  i wondered if he was thinking about things that he would never say  or didnt know how to say  or if he was just taking a long time to think about the thing he just said  here he really proves his worth as one of the best character actors in the industry  though the plot is somewhat unoriginal  it has a very appealing new twist in its characters  paxton gives one of the better performances of his career as the straight and serious leader of the group  a far cry from chet in wierd science   perhaps bridget fonda is miscast as his advicegiving wife  but she certainly doesnt do anything ruin the picture  a simple plan can be included in the group of recent small hollywood films that is just dark and pretty unredeeming  but at least this one has an important message  unlike so many of its counterparts  
pos	i saw simon birch in a basically sold out theater  on a sunday afternoon  when the movie was over and the audience was exiting  i didnt hear one negative comment  and i didnt have any to offer  simon birch is primarily about the friendship of two twelve year old boys  simon  ian michael smith  and joe  joseph mazzello   and what destiny holds for both of them  simon is a dwarf  who was not supposed to last through the night after birth due to a weak heart  surprisingly  he does  and now constantly reminds everyone that he is a living miracle  simon thinks god has a plan for him  a purpose for his life  and his condition  he just doesnt know what  joe is an illegitimate child  referred to both comically and dramatically throughout the film as a bastard   whos mom  ashley judd  wont tell him who his father is  simon has more than just dwarfism as a problem  the people in the town dont really like him  because he isnt  natural   even his own parents dont care about him  and are disappointed they didnt have a  normal  son  he is also harassed in church by the local pastor  rev  russell  david strathairn  and simons chain smoking sunday school teacher played by jan hooks  the only person  other than joe  that really cares for simon is joes mom  who he also looks up to as a mother  it would be just simons luck  that he would accidentally kills joes mom  something you are told at the beginning of the movie  joe  now motherless as well as fatherless  feels the need to find out who his real father is  with the help of ben  oliver platt   the local drama teacher and joes moms current boyfriend  before her death   he will attempt to locate his dad and get in a little trouble on the way  most of this trouble is laugh out loud funny  although not all of it is  simon will also look for gods plan for him  although he loses a little faith along the way  starring in the first  and last  five minutes of the film is hollywoods newest dramatic actor  jim carrey  jim plays the adult version of joe and does a impressive job starting the film off  and then tying it up just right  this is the first character jim has played that is not over the top in anyway  and he does a commendable job  simon birch is written and directed by mark steven johnson  this is his first film as director  but he has written several films  including the grumpy old men series  he does an outstanding writing and directing job here  the films structure is flawless and its flows together perfectly  the dialog goes from extremely funny to morose without missing a beat  the cast is excellent  joseph mazzello gives the stand out performance  joseph is outstanding for someone of any age  not alone someone who just turned 15  ian michael smith  in his film debut  has such a strong physical presence that you believe he is simon without any hesitation  other great performances are turned in by the rest of the supporting cast  i loved this movie  it is far and away one of the best films i have seen all year  take your whole family to see simon birch  it is a magnificent film an american masterpiece  
pos	the saint was actually a little better than i expected it to be  in some ways  in this theatrical remake of the television series the saint  and its series sequel the return of the saint  val kilmer plays simon templar  an elusive thief who makes a living by stealing things from others for others  this movie closely resembles a james bond flick  it has the classic bond symbols  a man who can do just about anything and get away with it  a woman whom the man persues  a villain out to achieve something for himself who kills anyone to reach this goal  kilmer actually provides a rather good role in this movie  although at times you are left to ponder how he actually gets out of the many tight situations  the movie begins in his childhood in a strict school run by catholic priests  as a young boy  kilmers character enjoyed magic and would often journey away from his schoolwork  that is until his school teacher finds him reading a book and demands that the young boy proclaim his name  that of a catholic saint  he refuses to do so and instead announces who he wishes to be  this leads to a devestating mistake  which is something that will stay in his mind throughout his life  kilmers first mission that we are shown is to steal a microchip from ivan tretiak  played by rade serbedzija  during a press conference  he must make his way into a heavily guarded vault area  avoiding guards  cameras  and many other potential obstacles  once his mission is completed and he is safely home  the fee is paid  when he logs into his bank account and finds that he is only a few million dollars short of 50 million  he decides to carry out only one more mission  then retire  dr  emma russell  portrayed by elisabeth shue  has discovered a way to produce energy by way of cold fusion  this new advancement would change the world and save thousands of lives in the areas of russia  where millions are without heat and are freezing to death  the only problem is  tretiak would like to have this for himself and use it to gain power amongst the people  this presents the option for kilmer to achieve his goal  tretiak hires him to steal the equations  small pieces of paper  from shue  one of the enjoyable features in the film is the disguises that kilmer dawns to complete his missions  they are very convincing  not only to the characters in the movie  but to us  kilmer utilizes one such disguise to lure shues character into getting to know him even more  which would provide him a means of stealing the energy formula  when the two meet  and end up having a sensual experience  kilmers character is seemingly falling in love with emma russell  as she is falling in love with kilmers alterego  a traveling artist  yet  he must reach his goal of 50 million  which requires him to steal the energy formula  putting his feelings aside  shues character is eventually able to track down simon templar by putting the pieces  the names of the catholic saints  together  something no one else is able to do  when she finds him  they are left to team up and reclaim the energy formulas from tretiak  the saint is very actionpacked  with few slow points  the sound was very well done and added to the many intense moments  along the course of the movie  there are even a few  although brief moments of comedy  these moments are almost always thanks to kilmers extraneous  very convincing disguises and personalities  all in all  a rather enjoyable movie with nearly nonstop action  
pos	the thirteenth floor  the third in what i would call  the reality check movie series   is very similar to the other reality check movies released this year  the matrix and existenz  all three made you think  made you wonder what is real  what isnt  and if our world is just a huge game  the thirteenth floor doesnt reach the level of originality  creativity  and curiosity sparked by the matrix and existenz  but it certainly gives a great shot at it  in the matrix  we were told that the humans are simply a virus  in existenz  we learned that our life could be just a game  in the thirteenth floor  we learn that we are just electronic devices  living under another world of electronic devices  there is just one world on top of another  and everything in them are fake and electronically generated  the thirteenth floor took a huge  risky turn that i didnt expect it to take  and im not very sure it was such a great turn to make  rather than focusing just on the reality parts of the film  the thirteenth floor becomes a murder mystery that ends up tying in with the different worlds  after the mysterious murder of computer program designer hammond fuller  played by armin muellerstahl  douglas hall  played by craig bierko  a man that worked under fuller for many years  must travel through an electronic computer device that fuller was using  to the year 1937  which consists of computer generated characters only  the simulation of 1937 is just like it was back in the olden days  all of the people involved are just characters  or are they  douglas strongly believes that a character traveled through the transport from their world to ours  and killed fuller  along the way  douglas interacts with many different potential suspects  and a woman who claims to be the daughter of fuller  jane fuller  played wonderfully by a talented young actress  gretchen mol  the thirteenth floor is a plot driven movie from the time the film gets going  and doesnt use spectacular special effects and big sound to keep the viewers interests  i was worried that this film would be too much like the matrix and existenz  and i wouldnt enjoy it  but there were enough twists and turns to keep me thinking and attentive to the film  unfortunately  many potential would have been great scenes were thrown away with predictable content  letting the viewer know the outcome of the scene long before it happened  the scenes that arent original or interesting seem to go absolutely nowhere  leaving you wondering   what is the point of this   sometimes it was hard to believe that this story  with terrible dialogue  some bad acting  especially from craig bierko  and scenes that go absolutely nowhere  are actually true  i know this isnt a true story or anything  but a film should be able to make you think that it is  on the plus side of acting  we get to see the missing from main character action since the film masterpiece shine in 1995 actor  armin muellerstahl  in the thirteenth floor  he is back and is still giving believable and amazing performances  another plus is gretchen mols realistic performance  creating her character with depth  not just staying in the onedimensional phase  dont expect the intensity of the matrix or existenz to come out of the thirteenth floor  just expect another film that messes with your mind for awhile  and shuts you down like any other movie would  thrills  chills  and spills arent what you will get in this film  but you will just get another trip to send your mind on  scrambling it until youve had enough  the bottom line lets hope this is the last of the  reality check  based movies for awhile  
pos	i tried hard not like this movie without succeeding  it contains parts of bringing up baby  any hepburntracy film  part of the plot of war games  cary grant and rosalind russell in his girl friday  elevator shaft action  train action  and murder  it is cute  funny  suspenseful  a little bit   sexy  a little bit   one of the bad guys was a surprise  the pace is fast enough  there are some  action  scenes  i think that this is a reasonable family summer movie for families with older kids who have already seen maverick  julia roberts and nick nolte are fine separately and together  i really identified with the julia roberts character  wishful thinking  i know    but i do have better hair  her hair  a very dull dark brown  has no color  she could use some highlights  they both do fine with their roles  hes a bored columnist with the chicago chronicle and shes a hotshot  cub  reporter with the chicago globe  they have great fun trying to out scoop each other to solve one case throughout this movie  i like the one story focus  other actors include charles martin smith as roberts boss  olympia dukakis as noltes coworker  nora dunn also with the chronicle  and marsha mason as a congresswoman  basically this movie is reasonably fun  there is a serious mystery to solve  and i enjoyed following a fun couple solving the mystery  it is a pleasant change of pace from movies that take themselves seriously  i do give successful comedy high marks  
pos	plot  jet li is a chinese cop asked to help some french policemen nab a bad guy  but one thing leads to another  and the next thing you know  lis being chased by the same french cops with whom he was supposed to be working  a lot of asskicking  facewhippings  gun fights and    okay  a little more asskicking ensues  critique  very cool  now heres a movie that gives you exactly what youre looking for  if what youre looking for is kickass action  a palpable good copbad cop story line  some hardcore stunts and jet li slamdunking everyone in sight  the film also moves fast  a mere 95 minutes   develops a certain  cute  chemistry between fonda and li  has nice surroundings  paris  baby   and gives us one of the best bad guys that ive seen all year  tcheky karyo is the devil incarnate in this film  he is pure evil  they should have called this movie bad lieutenant 2 as keitel has nothing on this man  what a great  great monster  my favorite line of tchekys was when li was explaining the whole  kiss of the dragon  thing to him and he cut him off by saying  kiss my ass   pure action movie poetry  anyway  other than him  jet li also handled his  acting  pretty well in this film  with very little real dialogue to say  but enough to make us believe his character  actually  just looking into the mans eyes generally tells you a lot  fonda was also pretty good  despite playing one of the most trashy and abused women that i have seen in quite some time  but i still felt kinda bad for her  so i guess she did her job okay  but in the end  nobody goes to see this kind of movie for oscar performances  we go to see jet li movies because we want to see jet li kicking a lot of ass from side to side  and this film delivers gangbusters on that front  and yes    they have no wirefu in this movie    i say again    no wirework  no bullshit stunts with li floating around in midair for over a minute  its all straight action  fist to fist  boot to face and all around cool stunts  if thats what youre looking for  i dont see how you will be disappointed with this film  yes  its not very original in plot  just take luc bessons own la femme nikita and mix in plenty of his own the professional et voila    does have an annoying hiphoppy soundtrack that just got on my nerves after a while  i also would have gotten rid of the whole acupuncture thang     and will have anyone not willing to restrain their disbelief  rolling their eyes all over the place  but was i entertained  thoroughly  does the film feature more gunplay  martial arts and overthetop kills that most recent action flicks  yes  again  does this sound interesting to you  well  the answer to that question is entirely up to you  one thing that i would definitely recommend is  as jet li pointed out himself on his website  that you leave the kids at home for this one  in fact  you might even wanna leave yourself if you cant handle the more violent of sequences  all in all  a rippin  roarin fun time  wheres joblo coming from  black mask  510   blade  710   la femme nikita  810   lethal weapon 4  710   the matrix  810   the professional  910   romeo must die  310   rush hour  710   shanghai noon  610  
pos	ive never been a member of the robin williams fan club  a little bit of his improvisationaly schtick goes a long way  and i sometimes feel as though im watching a 40yearold class clown  in his films  williams has often tried to balance his mania with touchyfeely emotion  leading to wildly uneven performances  mrs  doubtfire seemed readymade for the same problems  but instead it proves to be williams best comic screen project yet  while it still contains some characteristic selfindulgence  mrs  doubtfire is nonetheless an engaging bellylaugh comedy served up with high energy  williams stars as daniel hillard  a cartoon voiceover artist with a penchant for irresponsible behavior  one such incident proves one too many for wife miranda  sally field   and she files for a divorce  unemployed  living in a disastrously unkempt apartment and faced with limited time with his three beloved children  daniel decides to respond to mirandas ad for an afternoon housekeeper  he turns to his brother frank  harvey fierstein   a theatrical makeup artist  and emerges as euphegenia doubtfire  a matronly 65yearold englishwoman  daniel uses his access to the house to keep an eye on mirandas flirtation with a wealthy client  pierce brosnan   to spend time with the children  and to learn something about responsible parenting  all the while trying to keep his identity hidden from the people who know him best  mrs  doubtfire has to overcome a mountain of implausibilities to work  and basically it does so  the most crucial is that no one in the family recognizes daniel  and thanks to the fantastic special makeup thats instantly believable  it may be one of the most convincing transformations ever committed to film  making dustin hoffmans dorothy michaels look like milton berle  more problematic was a series of calls daniel makes to miranda posing as nannies from hell  its a bit hard to swallow that she doesnt recognize any of the voices as her husbands  perhaps the biggest contrivance were asked to swallow is that daniel could make a quick change into mrs  doubtfire in a few minutes  theres more to realistic makeup than slapping on a latex mask  fortunately  these are inconsistencies which only attract attention as the credits roll  during the film  i was generally too busy laughing  after getting off to a slow start involving too much of williams riffing  mrs  doubtfire kicks into high gear once the wig and pads are in place  daniels frantic attempt to fool a court officer is wonderful  as is the climactic restaurant sequence  even though i saw the resolutions coming a mile away  clearly  most of the credit for doubtfires success goes to robin williams  it took putting him in drag  but for once he plays a comic character that isnt just robin williams with a different name  he thoroughly inhabits euphegenia doubtfire  and seems to relish the scenes in which he gets to play her as blunt and foulmouthed  wisely  he never aims for saintly  his responses to the intrusion of new suitor stu are often petty  but the kind of thing most of us might do with the benefit of anonymity  its one of mrs  doubtfires charms that neither daniel nor miranda is perfect  just people trying to be better  as miranda  sally field is solid in a background role  and pierce brosnan is nicely understated as stu  the children are also good  although mara wilson is almost oppressively cute as the youngest  the supporting players merely step aside and allow williams to do his thing  its easy to see mrs  doubtfire as little more than tootsie warmed over  and its true that there are both broad themes and specific details in common  but mrs  doubtfire manages to carve out its own space  particularly through the surprisingly honest moments involving a judges decision and the ultimate status of daniel and mirandas relationship  theres nothing dazzlingly new in mrs  doubtfire  but there are plenty of laughs  and good comedies are always in short supply  and its nice to see robin williams just act for a change  
pos	weir is wellrespected in hollywood for turning scripts with difficult subjectmatter into deceptively simple  powerful films  the mosquito coast  utopia  and fearless  posttraumatic stress disorder  among them  in the truman show  weir essentially breathes life into the nowtired concept of mediamanipulation by tackling the material from the insideout  it certainly helps that he has an underrated performer in topform playing the title character  truman burbank  by now you must be aware of the premise  unbeknownst to him  truman  carrey  is the star of his own tv series  a 247 peepshow in which he is surrounded by actors and placed in loosely scripted situations  people around the world tune in for the voyeuristic thrill of his genuine reactions to fictitious stimulants  seahaven  his hometown  and the show itself  are the brainchild of christof  harris   who presides over his creation in the base of a fake moon  directing over 500 cameras and hundreds of actors and extras  for 30 years  truman suspects nothingwe accept the reality were given   poses christofbut a desire to break free of the sunny town and visit a long lost love in fiji  mcelhone  who was actually an actress fired by christof for trying to break the confidentiality agreement  overwhelms him  thus  christof and his team suddenly find themselves working twice as hard to keep the veneer of seahaven intact  lest truman discover the world outside and put an end to the highlyrated program  in a few broad strokes  weir creates a convincing secondreality  and he has the good sense not to bring christof into the picture until almost threequarters through  this allows us to comprehend and accept trumans world before we contextualize it  for all his madness  christof has shown the world a place without violence and hardship  and demonstrated that a human being can function well within it  truman is an inspiration to his audience because he grew up to be  well  so darn nice  like a sibling  or  perhaps more appropriately  a caged animal in an interactive zoo   they want to see him succeed  the surrealistic soap opera is completely plausible thanks to a tight screenplay and a sympathetic carreyhe really is an everyman here  abandoning his facial contortions in favour of a credible  wideeyed bewilderment  cinematically  the truman show is impeccable  stylishly photographed by peter biziou and littered with symbolic images  as well  it employs wojciech kilars piece  zycie za zycie masterfully and beautifully  if the film has any flaws  one may find them in laura linneys characterization as meryl  trumans  wife   i doubt that betty crocker impersonation would fool anyone   and in a subplot involving trumans father  which feels curiously incomplete  there are a few stupendous sequences  and the film pulls off a wonderful trick  we become trumans audience as much as the loyal viewers in the film  they wear buttons asking how will it end   i couldnt wait to know myself  though i didnt exactly want it to end  for this inspired movie is possibly the bestand most complexsummer picture in years  
pos	synopsis  its 1977 in a small italian american neighborhood in new york  disco music is popular  and the sexual revolution is on  but the people of new york are not happy  in fact  theyre terrified  as in spike lees do the right thing a heat wave has the city in its grip  and peoples tempers are flaring  the cool of night offers no respite  the neighborhood is being terrorized by a nocturnal psychotic killer who calls himself the son of sam  no one knows who the son of sam is  and no one is safe  all around new york people are different  aside from cultural groupings and ethnic neighborhoods there are differences between individuals  in the italian american section of town a philandering husband named vinny  john leguizamo  tries to hide his trysts and sexual behavior from his long suffering newlywed wife dionna  mira sorvino   vinnys friend ritchie  adrien brody  hates disco  works at a gay strip club and doesnt want any of the neighborhood folks to know  ritchies girl ruby  jennifer esposito  is trying to escape a reputation as a slut  everyones different  but nobody in the film wants to be framed as  alien  to the community  unfortunately  the killings help create a climate of suspicion pits neighbor against neighbor  opinion  director spike lees summer of sam is not about a psycho killer  nor is it about cops trying to apprehend him  its about differences and how  given the right conditions  even close neighbors can fan the hostile flames of irrational suspicion  one thing i found interesting in summer of sam was the use of sex  in other movies sex is glamorized  for example  james bond gets a sexual reward for winning  or boring madeforvideo  suspense  movies are spiked with gratuitous lingerie scenes just to keep the audience awake  and every movie or soap opera character in these flicks seems to have expert sexual prowess  not so with summer of sam  in a very gutsy move director spike lee shows sex without fantasy  sex is there  but it isnt gratuitous or titillating  in fact  some of the main characters are downright lousy in bed  sex is in the film because  sexual  deviance is part of the films major theme of  difference  breeding hostility  in my opinion this kind of movie sex is cutting edge for 1999  as rare and thoughtprovoking in american cinema as showing a spanking  
pos	part one of  the strangest movies ever made  series at www  mediajunkies  com by scott watson light spoilers  nothing you shouldnt read existenz has been called  a gooey matrix   and while this is a correct description in some ways  in others it is completely off  the only thing the two films have in common is the idea of a virtual reality that is indistinguishable from normal   real  reality  a major difference is that  the matrix  has a base reality that is obviously the true reality  while existenz does the impossible and makes us accept the most bizarre reality ever as true  and oh what a reality it is  david cronenberg has shown us before that he knows how to create strange movies  naked lunch  crash   but this one is one of the strangest  maybe its because of how the mundane is mixed with the bizarre  technology is organic  but only some of it  cars are normal  gas stations are the same  cell phones are glowing bug like appendages  you jack into a virtual reality game using a quivering pink gooey animal like apparatus  referred to simply as a  pod    high technology has been replaced with organic creatures  and it provides a truly surreal setting for the characters  a famous game designer  allegra geller  a fine looking jennifer jason leigh   flees a demonstration of her latest game  existenz  after an assassination attempt  she is on the run  from who  im still not sure   and has to save her pod by playing her game with  someone friendly   that someone friendly is her dubious companion and security guard  ted pikul  jude law   unfortunately he is lacking a fundamental requirement for playing  a bioport  sort of a hole in your spine  ok  exactly like a hole in your spine   a bioport allows you to plug the vaguely entraillooking wires from the pod into you  allowing you to play the game  luckily a bioport can be installed easily  they install them in malls   so off they go to get one  after a crazy series of events at the local country gas station  they are able to plug in and play existenz  the plot itself is a surreal melding of conspiracies  reality distortion  chinese restaurants  and multi appendaged amphibian things   its a sign of the times    but the plot  while cohesive in its own creepy way is secondary to just trying to figure out what the hell is going on in this universe  cronenberg just slaps this weird organictech world into the viewers lap  and its up to you to figure out how all these things work  and thats the true joy of this film  entering the vaguely nightmarish world in which existenz takes place  you learn a little bit piece by piece  oh  they make pods out of those   and its just enough to get you to accept the world that is presented to you  there are all kinds of twists and turns as the characters wander around  including a fantastic scene in a chinese restaurant that will leave you trying to assemble something out of your moo goo gai pan for months afterwards  also the bioports are occasionally used for things other than porting into existenz  the specifics of which i will leave for you to discover  theres lots of little things that set off the weirdometer  like the little tiny pods that you can buy in the video game store  the two headed amphibian creature  and why that guy at the gas stations name appears to be  gas   it all adds up to a supremely far out trip  and given the choice i think i would rather live in the matrixs virtual world    oh wait  i already do  
pos	good films are hard to find these days  great films are beyond rare  proof of life  russell crowes onetwo punch of a deft kidnap and rescue thriller  is one of those rare gems  a taut drama laced with strong and subtle acting  an intelligent script  and masterful directing  together it delivers something virtually unheard of in the film industry these days  genuine motivation in a story that rings true  consider the strange coincidence of russell crowes character in proof of life making the moves on a distraught wife played by meg ryans character in the film  all while the real russell crowe was hitching up with married woman meg ryan in the outside world  i havent seen this much chemistry between actors since mcqueen and mcgraw teamed up in peckinpahs masterpiece  the getaway  but enough with the gossip  lets get to the review  the film revolves around the kidnapping of peter bowman  david morse   an american engineer working in south america who is kidnapped during a mass ambush of civilians by antigovernment soldiers  upon discovering his identity  the rebel soldiers decide to ransom him for 6 million  the only problem is that the company peter bowman works for is being auctioned off  and no one will step forward with the money  with no choice available to her  bowmans wife alice  ryan  hires terry thorne  crowe   a highly skilled negotiator and rescue operative  to arrange the return of her husband  but when things go wrong  as they always do in these situations  terry and his team  which includes the most surprising casting choice of the year  david caruso  take matters into their own hands  the film is notable in that it takes this very simple story line and creates a complex and intelligent characterdriven vehicle filled with wellwritten dialogue  shades of motivation  and convincing acting by all the actors  the script is based on both a book  the long march to freedom  and a magazine article pertaining to kidnapransom situations  and the story has been sharply pieced together by tony gilroy  screenwriter of the devils advocate and dolores claiborne  the biggest surprise for me was not the chemistry between crowe and ryan  but that between crowe and david caruso  dug out from bmovie hell  caruso pulls off a gutsy performance as crowes right hand gun while providing most of the films humor  ryan cries a lot and smokes too many cigarettes  david morse ends up getting everyone at the guerilla camp to hate him  and crowe provides another memorable acting turn as the stoic  gunslinger character of terry thorne  the most memorable pieces of the film lie in its action scenes  the bulk of those scenes  which bookend the movie  work extremely well as establishment and closure devices for all of the storys characters  the scenes are skillfully crafted and executed with amazing accuracy and poise  director taylor hackford mixes both his oldschool style of filmmaking with the dizziness of a lars von trier film  proof of life is a thinking mans action movie  it is a film about the choices men and women make in the face of love and war  and the sacrifices one makes for those choices  the sacrifices that help you sleep at night  
pos	i must admit im going to be a bit biased in my review of the new romantic comedy serendipity  because that also defines how i met my current girlfriend  the magic and mystery of our fated encounter is also embodied in the quirkiness and freshness of the very funny and very romantic serendipity  i am not a big fan of the romantic comedy genre  but something drew me to this film  maybe it was the casting of the underrated jeremy piven in a supporting role  and the hilarious eugene levy  maybe it was my hope that john cusack would get the redemption he justly deserves after such crap as high fidelity  con air  and pushing tin  but maybe it was because i feel as giddy as a school kid right now with this whole romantic thing currently in my life  the story of serendipity is simple  two people  john trager  john cusack  and sara thomas  kate beckinsale  looking ever so hot   have a chance encounter over a pair of gloves  with buck henry smack dab in the middle  charmed beyond repair  these two knuckleheads grab a sundae together at a caf  called serendipity  talk about that irresponsible thing called fate and the avenues it leads people down  and spend a few hours at the local ice skating rink  but with each of them already involved with other parties  sara has john write his name and number on a 5 bill and she writes her name and number on a copy of love in the time of cholera  sara declares that if this  thing   lets just call it love  is destined to happen  fate will bring them together in the future  years later and on opposite coasts of america  john and sara  both engaged but still unsure whether they have found their soul mates  decide to seek each other out to rest their doubts  what happens then is an enjoyable and often hilarious catandmouse game with the fates  involving such items as mistaken identity  a graduate homage  john corbett as a freaky new age musician  and eugene levy as an irate and crazed salesman  to find out if that  thing  was right after all  fortunately  firsttime screenwriter marc klein has sketched strong  wellrounded  characters to propel a predictable and corny narrative  coupled with deft directing by michael chelsom  director of the very unfunny town and country and the very funny funny bones  and the use of timelapse camera work to illustrate the passage of years  the film comes off with genuine believability and sincerity  both piven and molly shannon make nice sidekick characters on the flipside  films such as youve got mail  made in heaven  and even high fidelity are the quiet inspirations for the films main journey at hand  but its what happens to the unexpecting characters left behind in the romantic wake after john and sara find happiness this is the most unsettling part of the picture  
pos	in some regards  making a movie is like trying to stretch a rubber band as far as you can without breaking it  try too hard  and it snaps  but too much reservation means someone else will come along and pull it farther  in simon birch  director mark steven johnson shows us just how to master the technique  he takes advantage of caution and poise  but also risks his movie with a few bold steps  in the end  hes not only holding an unbroken band  but he makes the audience appreciate the lengths he went to direct such a fine feature  theres no doubt about it  the film that johnson has crafted is rich  he chooses for his setting the quaint town of gravestown  maine  leaves turn bright orange in the fall  the grass is a lush green  pure white snow falls in the winter  and the sky goes on forever  the characters continue that turn  our two leads are simon birch  ian michael smith  and joe wenteworth  joseph mazzello   simon is the smallest baby ever born within the records of the local hospital  and by age twelve hes only two feet tall  joe is the bastard son of rebecca  ashley judd   and by age twelve hes ready to know who is father is  naturally  the two outcasts become good friends and share many adventures together  from disrupting sunday school to doing community service to playing little league baseball  in a wonderfully executed performance by ian michael smith  simon birch is convinced that hes gods instrument  and there must be a reason hes so small  joe doesnt quite buy it  but he sticks by simon  the two tough it out through the worst of times and are each others only true friends  early on  the two meet up with ben goodrich  oliver platt   rebeccas new boyfriend  and although the bond isnt immediate  ben and the two boys develop a liking for each other  both platt and judd give solid performances that lend their characters a deep likeability  the audience cares about them as much as they do about joe and simon  a testament to the acting jobs of both  finally  jim carrey gives a cameo as the adult joe in the present day  and his few minutes here are relatively more impressive than his entire performance in the truman show  mark steven johnsons sense of drama and writing is fantastic  the script is loosely based on john irvings novel  a prayer for owen meany  but its so far off the source material that irving actually requested the credits be changed from based on to suggested by   along those same lines  its almost unfitting to compare the two  johnson uses tension  humor  atmosphere  and suspense to create an original drama of forrest gumpian proportions  by no means has he developed a project of similar popularity  gump made over 300 million dollars while birch ought to pass out of sight in a few weeks  but the winning idea remains the same  simon birch is a different look at a different life  and one that will most likely be studied in film school classes in decades to come  in the present  however  its an enjoyable little picture that everyone ought to take a look at  
pos	on the basis of this film alone  i never would have predicted that  in two years  quentin tarantino would become the countrys biggest hotshot director  reservoir dogs has hints of the tarantino brilliance that emerged in pulp fiction  but is a much less substantive  more conventional crime story than the big pf  heres what the two movies do have in common    scenes of intelligent  amusing dialogue with no relevance to the plot a story that jumps back and forth in time rather than going in a logical  chronological sequence graphic yet necessary violence an engaging crime story dialogue liberally spiced with swear words and racialgender slurs three of the same actors  harvey keitel  tim roth and steve buscemi  a mexican standoff ending  although this one is considerably less optimistic than pf reservoir dogs is an entire hour shorter than pulp fiction because its only got one story to tell rather than three  crime lord joe cabot  veteran actor lawrence tierney  has assembled five criminals who have never even met each other to pull a diamond store heist  the five are instructed not to reveal their real names or personal details or anything the cops could use if one of them was captured and interrogated  instead  they are all given code names off the color chart  mr  white  keitel   mr  pink  buscemi   mr  orange  roth   mr  blonde  michael madsen   mr  brown  tarantino  and mr  peach  tarantinos chin   most of the movies running time is spent with mr  white and pink waiting at a warehouse for the others to arrive  mr  orange  meanwhile  is on the floor  dying from a gunshot wound  the police had arrived at the scene of the crime way too soon  leading white to believe one of the five was an informant  the storys background unfolds through a series of flashbacks  of the crime itself and the meetings between joe and the criminals prior to the crime  eventually  blonde arrives with a police officer hostage  and what follows is a truly brutal  uncomfortable torture scene  lets just say picasso would be inspired by what blonde does to the cops ear  a lot of the time  reservoir dogs seems like your typical gangster heistgonewrong movie  but there are a few sequences that are uniquely tarantino  the opening scene in the coffee shop starts the movie off on a high note the rest of it doesnt live up to  as the criminals plus joe have a conversation on  among other things  tipping philosophies and their interpretations of madonnas  like a virgin   another scene involves roths lengthy manufactured story about running into a group of cops and a police dog in a bus station bathroom while carrying a giant bag of marijuana  neither of these have much plot relevance but are given ample time to develop  like the captain koons gold watch speech in pulp fiction  only here these sequences are more enjoyable than the rest of the movie  reservoir dogs is good but its no pulp fiction  
pos	its a fact that a good thriller or action movie doesnt need violence to be good or worth watching  all it takes is potential violence to make the audience bite their nails  and what kind of violence could be more efficient than a global thermonuclear war  and potential violence is the premiss wargames is built upon  a computer whizkid  david  is usually contended with hacking into the school computer to change his grades  but after having read an advertisment for an upcoming computer game  he wants to be the first to play it  instead of getting into the computer at protovision software he accidentally comes to the frontgate of norad  with the help of jennifer  a girl in his biology class  he starts to play a nice game of nuclear war with wopr  war operation plan response  a topnotch computer at the time  but now hardly faster than my own computer  i remember being 12 and watching this at the cinema  it was very efficent at giving you a scare in those days and that hasnt changed  of course  a nuclear war seemed to be much more of something that could actually happen back in 1983  i wouldnt be surprised if this gave people nightmares  i hope it still does since you still hear about school kids hacking into the computers at pentagon  broderick and sheedy are just fine as the young teenagers  although her interest in david remains a mystery   but the rest of the actors are  by no fault of their own  restricted by the script to play onedimensional grownups  davids parents are the same kind of parents that populate all these college comedies from the 1980s  movies like secret admirer  porkys or zapped and the norad general beringer is straight out of dr  strangelove  if for no other reason  you should see this movie to enjoy how far the computer technology has gone since those days  david uses the same telephone for calling friends as calling other computers  the modem is some kind of device that he puts the headset on  far from any 56k modem my guess is that its some kind of 2400 bps modem  the kind of technology you now find at your local technical museum  the big computer at norad has a lot of flashing lights  just like those you see on star trek or any old sfmovie  but its hardly impressing compared with what you can get today  what are the lessons we can learn from wargames  1  make sure there are no secret backdoors into military computers  2  thank you  whoever it was  for giving us a graphical user interface when we use our computers  
pos	there exists a litany of differences between a successful action movie and a successful suspense movie  action movies are typically devoid of plot other than a simple byline which can string together several explosive sequences  while suspense movies hinge on plot and subtlety and the ability to bring everything fullcircle  for fans of both genres  however  realism is key  action fans want to know that the weapons and methods their heroes are using are authentic  and suspense fans want everything to fall into an explainable framework by the movies end  on this advice  director john frankenheimer  the island of dr  moreau  strives for realism in an interestingly dynamic balance of suspense and action for his latest thriller  ronin  the depth of intrigue in ronin is quite amazing  considering the fare thats fallen into the same category over the last few years  the script  written by j  d  zeik in his bigscreen debut  approaches levels of complexity that had people spinning away from mission  impossible two years ago  a certain number of people will be lost by this  but afficianados will appreciate it all the more and return multiple times  frankenheimer masters the script with poise  and tells us a dark but stoically realistic tale of a group of postcold war mercenaries working to earn their paycheck  his ability to convey feeling and character while promoting explosiveness and tense atmosphere works well here  and ronin becomes a better movie because of it  robert de niro headlines this cast of noteworthies in a performance that is the most outstanding of his in quite some time  he takes command and offers much gravity as the exspy sam  a man whos called to france to help a shady operations controller named dierdre  natascha mcelhone  recover a package  the package becomes the central motivator for the entire cast  especially once the requisite doublecrossing begins  and its role is skillfully penned by zeik  at times  however  zeiks tale becomes almost too reminiscent of mission  impossible  de niro might easily become tom cruise  the package might become cruises computer disk  fortunately  the focus here is almost entirely on the package  whereas in mission the script was more concerned with the doublecross and why it happened  the action content is impressive  and it lives up to the hints given in previews  the only fans who will be disappointed are those who expect fullblown combat scenes and instead are forced to suffer through moments of slowness  ronin does take a degree of intelligence to follow all of the nuance from start to finish  but even the uninitiated will be able to keep a grasp on most characters mand subplots  the suspense tapers off considerably by the end  a bit of a drawback because of its height at the movies open  considering these factors its good to see that ronin was a project that turned out well  and its another good bet this month  since quality is usually sparse during the early fall months  its definitely worth the visit  
pos	jay and silent bob strike back  kevin smiths swan song to his two most famous characters  is the best received comedy that ive seen since theres something about mary  which is a tea party in comparison to the foulmouthed humor in jay and silent bob strike back  the audience didnt just laugh  they went wild with boisterous laughter and heavy applause throughout  in short  if you like really raunchy humor  you may find it  as i did  to be the funniest movie of the year   on the other hand  if you are one of those who walked out in disgust with smiths dogma  then jay and silent bob strike back is not the movie for you   in one of the fastest paced movies of the year  the story has jay and silent bob  jason mewes and kevin smith   a pair of card carrying drug dealers  traveling from their new jersey convenience store home to hollywood so that they can stop a movie  it seems their comic book alter egos  bluntman and chronic  are being used in a movie without jay and silent bobs consent  jason biggs and james van der beek are slated to star in it  jay and silent bob strike back has more and better used cameos than just about any movie that ive ever seen  among others  they include carrie fisher as a bibletoting nun  mark hamill as a comic book version of his famous alter ego and gus van sant as a director too busy counting his money to yell   action   best of all are ben affleck and matt damon who mock themselves and their movies  the film stops several times to make fun of itself and of the audience who was  stupid  enough to buy tickets to this movie   actually  purchasing tickets to this film is extremely smart given that it delivers more laughter per dollar than anything in recent memory   the film even skewers people who write about movies on the internet  guilty  although its filled with inside jokes  youll still be laughing even if you only get some of them  its easy to understand enough so that they are still funny  jay is a motor mouth who hasnt met a subject that he couldnt vulgarize  his favorite topic is oral sex  but  being an equal opportunity profaner  hes willing to make crude jokes about absolutely anything  but it is his buddy  the aptly named silent bob  who is responsible for most of the movies success  his reaction shots  with his wildly exaggerated eye movements  are comedic gems  the storys main subplot concerns four animal rights activists  justice  shannon elizabeth  and her three sexy buddies  sissy  eliza dushku   missy  jennifer schwalbach smith  and chrissy  ali larter   these charlies angels types give a ride to our heroes on their trek to lalaland to stop the picture  jay tries to put the moves on justice  but he doesnt stay in command of the situation for long  one of the funnier sight gags has the women using a pink  clamshaped  birth control case that contains high tech gadgetry  granted  its not the movie for everyone  but  if you like kevin smiths brand of humor  youll find that this is his best  and  as i said earlier  its the funniest movie of the year thus far  no  wait  forget  thus far   its bound to be the funniest movie of the year  in a time when almost every movie feels obligated to come in at pg13 so that they can rake in the maximum cash  its great to see a filmmaker with the guts to target only a mature audience  jay and silent bob strike back runs a lightening fast 1  35  it is rated r and contains pervasive crude humor and language and sexual situations  it would be acceptable for high school seniors and older  the film opens nationwide in the united states on wednesday  august 22  2001  in the silicon valley  it will be showing at the amc and the century theaters  
pos	damn those trailers  had it not been for the advertising of this film  which reveals far too much about its contents  i would have been glued to under the sand  as it is  the film retains some value  thanks to an excellent performance by charlotte rampling  and a more mature francois ozon in the directors chair  marie  charlotte rampling  and her husband jean  bruno cremer  lounge on the beach  she takes a nap while he goes for a swim  when marie wakes up  jean is nowhere to be found  she contacts authorities  but they cant find him either  did he disappear to start a new life  was he killed by accident  did he commit suicide  marie still asks herself these questions a year later  and in order to move on with her life  she must find some answers  its a fine premise  and this little movie uses it to the limit  the film moves at a leisurely pace  a bit slow  but relaxing  its a very visual story  and you can pretty much just sit back without reading the subtitles  this is mostly thanks to the excellent camera work by antoine heberle and jeanne lapoirie  who shot the film in a dreamy haze  and the lead performance by rampling  rampling is so expressive in her portrayal of marie  you connect with her character instantly  despite that shes delusional  the scenes where she interacts with her husband  who she still believes is alive  are heartbreaking  she cant quite get over him  theyve been married for twentyfive years  the other actors  particularly jacques nolot  are excellent too  the sex in the film is rather unneeded  but compared to ozons criminal lovers  its the disney channel  likely to cause some discussion afterwards  under the sand is a fine movie going experience  while its hard to recommend as entertainment  its a fine adult alternative about how we deal with loss  ozon seems to ask what you would do  and thats certainly a hard question to answer  
pos	bob the happy bastards quickie review  rush hour so whats the problem with 48 hours clones these days  they always try for the same thing that eddie murphy and nick nolte had  that was the problem that plagued these clones  not to mention the actual sequel  another 48 hours  a complete waste of film  but  at last  someone has a different take on the matter  and its director brett rainer  rush hour features jackie chan in his first u  s  action movie  playing a chinese detective whos being flown to the us to investigate the kidnapping of the chinese consulates daughter  of course  the fbi is upset that hell be interfering in their investigation  and stick him with an lapd office with a big mouth of course  thats chris tucker  what makes rush hour work so damn well is the chemistry between the energetic chan and the absolutely hilarious tucker  tucker mouths off to chan at every given opportunity   im michael jackson  you tito     and chan delivers a few zingers of his own  as well as some terrific fight scenes  the storys pretty much your average fare  but with a decent twist involving the main villain  a highly clouded figure named jun tao  at least its entertaining  and the concept is excellently realized  a particular fight scene in a chinese office  where chan and tucker duke it out with the bad guys  is funny and energetic at the same time  and the finales a real treat as well    chan delivers yet another fantastic stunt for the fans with a 10story drop  rush hour is just the sort of film youll get a kick out of on any night of the week  just make sure you dont look for anything culturally different and youll be fine drunken master ii this aint  
pos	this sunday afternoon i had the priviledge of attending a private screening at the sony astor cinema in new york city  of james camerons most heralded film  titanic  postponed from last summer  with an escalated budget that makes it the most expensive movie in history  this was one film i was eager to preview  so  is this movie going to sink or swim this holiday  my best guess     it will sink  though with many awards attatched to its hull  no doubt  titanic is the most elaborate disaster movie ever made  it boasts the most amazing effects that i have ever seen done to date  to see a ship fall apart  with actual people running across the ship  flying across the deck  and falling to the water  is just amazing to look at  the effects are so stunningly realistic  you would swear you were looking at actual footage  but titanic is more than a disaster movie  and thats where the problem lies  there is a love story attatched that nearly ruins the entire premise  ill give a capsule summary of the story without spoiling anything for you  the film begins with a modern day excavation of sorts of the sunken titanic  we see actual footage of the sunken ship  as cammeron had set up special cameras to film the wreckage on the ocean floor  bill paxton leads the expedition  in search of sunken treasure  what he finds instead  leads him to a mysterious old woman who recounts her tale of the titanic voyage  we meet rose  kate winslet   a young woman  who comes from an upperclass family  rose is to be wed to a man she does not love  we meet jack  leonardo dicaprio   a young man  who comes from a poor financial background  and wins a ticket aboard the titanic  in a poker game  the two meet under interesting circumstances  and the love story begins  add in a jealous fiance  and a notsonice law officer played by david warner  and you have a story that  well  gets a bit overplayed and oversappy  i must add  at this point  that the most likeable character in the movie is played by kathy bates  as a woman with  new money  who is a lot less uptight than the other rich folk on the ship  she is a pleasure to see on screen  when the ship does hit the iceberg at exactly 1  40 into the film  and eventually sinks  you never really feel for any of these characters  the film is just loaded with unlikeable rich snobs and other folk you never really get a grasp on  the effects are tremendous  from the roars of gears and pumps in the engine room  to a doomed ship cracking at the seams  this is an effects picture that looks and sounds like no other  we saw titanic in dolby digital surround  and by far  it is the best sounding movie i have ever seen  my friend commented it was the best sound mix he has ever heard  when people are in the water  at films end  you are surrounded by the voices of lost soles  titanic runs far too long  the movie is 3 hours and 15 minutes in length  and  while most of the first 2  5 hours runs very fast and wellpaced  the final 45 minutes almost comes to a sudden stop  and you realize that this sappy love story has to finish itself out before the movie finally ends  dont get me wrong about titanic     its not a bad as i am making it out to be  it really is an exceptionaly wellmade film  the costumes and sets are incredible  and true to the time period  the ship is painstakingly created exactly true to form  as we see actual pictures of the modernday wreckage  transformed into the movie depiction  this film will certainly win on effects  costume  set design and sound  cameron has certainly made his best film to date  unfortunately  titanic is not a best picture candidate  it just doesnt have a strong supporting story  its an exceptional disaster film with sappy filler inside  it just doesnt have the emotional impact that i suspect mr  cameron was shooting for  i predict that titanic will open to likeable reviews  it is a film worth seeing  i predict that it will only do moderately well at the box office  with its extreme running time  and lack of enough robust to get substantial wordofmouth  i expect that it will do even better on home video  this will certainly be the definitive ac3 movie for all you home theater enthusiasts  titanic opens december 19th  and is released by paramount pictures and twentieth centuryfox  i give titanic 3 stars   thats not bad  ron epstein riginally posted in home theater forum  
pos	a common complaint amongst film critics is  why arent there more literate scripts available   quiz show gives signs of hope that the art of writing isnt dead in hollywood and that we need not only look to independent films for thoughtful content  paul attanasios script takes what could have been a tepid thriller  the quiz show scandals of the late 50s  and delivers a telling parable about the emptiness of the post war american dream and the golden bubble that surrounds and protects tv networks and their sponsors  the film is riddled with telling symbols  e  g  a 58 chrysler  a radio announcement of sputnik  but is never heavy handed  deft direction by robert redford and keen performances by ralph fiennes  john turturro and rob morrow dovetail perfectly with the carefully honed script  redford departs from the usually overlight   cable tv quality  sets and camera work so common in recent 20th century period pieces  quiz show perfectly captures the colors and textures of the eisenhower years  although i was only 4 years old when the  twenty one  scandal broke  enough of the 50s icons survived throughout my childhood for me to recognize the authenticity of redfords almost tangible palette  from plastic covered furniture to carefully coifed contestants  the images ring true from that era of rampant consumerism  of a generation that had gone through 15 years of depression and world war without  disposable income   before the manifestation of its american dream  the film deftly weaves several themes together  from assimilation and exclusion of jews from  the good life   to the lengths that a scion of a literary family will go to to match his fathers fame  though the 50s audience that is  rocked  by this scandal may initially seem naive to us  they should appear all too familiar  with our current national passion for the rise and fall of icons like michael jackson or tonya harding  charles van doren and herbie stemple were the overnight mega celebrities of their day  the tv audience is almost a fourth main character  always at the center of the decisions being made on their behalf  at the films end  the credits roll past slow motion footage of that same 50s tv audience  mindlessly laughing at some piece of fluff  like the distorted mirror that captured a blurred swastika at the end of cabaret  this  mirror  may reflect an image were not all that comfortable with  
pos	whew  this film oozes energy  the kind of breakneck  no holdsbarred  inyourface risktaking filmmaking that is seldom seen on screen these days  like the marginal  motley bunch of postapocalyptic youths director danny boyle tries to depict  trainspotting veers on the edge of utter mayhem but ultimately retains its footing and control  the result  a movie that is a delightful example of how the medium is the message  the message  a bunch of losers with loser names  mark renton  ewan mcgregor   spud  ewan bremner   sick boy  jonny lee miller   tommy  kevin mckidd   and begbie  robert carlyle   bored  aimless and restless  their routine consists of getting drunk at the local pub  grooving to techno or glamrock at the local disco and getting shots up the arm at the local den and procuring cash through a variety of methods  some ingenious  others plainly dumb and desperate  not part of the daily dose if obtained  sex is a bonus  you can find these characters as they are  foulmouthed  dirty  pathetic  ugly perhaps but definitely interesting  in irvin welshs cult novel of the same name  what makes the film a completely different experience is how director boyle uses every tool at his disposal to make the filmic medium synchronous with the message  one of the first things youll notice is how the camera seems to dart around restlessly  itll truck into a characters pimple  just as soon as it will dolly out to an establishing shot  distracted and curious  itll maintain a characters eyelevel or drop right to the ground to show the dopedouteyeview  youll even find characters peering into the camera  their faces smeared across the wideangle lens  this film camera is just another one of the guys  tiptoeing that indistinguishable line between fantasy and reality  boyle employs a healthy dose of surrealism to get the message across  bored kids daydream and bored kids deprived of a heroin fix have nightmares  i dont want to give too much away  but if you cross chuckie from childs play with some of the wacky fantasies in heavenly creatures  you might have an idea just how fun or pantswetting scary the alternate state of consciouness can be  that said  this film has a good share of drugs  consumed  vomitted  defecated  pissed off  exchanged  bought  sold  injected  smuggled  enjoyed and regretted  if that isnt your cup of tea  nobody forced you to see the film  stay at home and rent up close and personal  and whats a buzz without tunes  from pulp to iggy pop  yes  hes still alive   the aural landscape is as engaging as the visual energy permeating the film  good and bad vibrations tangle like the conflicting desires and values of the message  every once in a while  a film comes along with the kind of energetic filmmaking that matches the intensity of its characters it hopes to depict  trainspotting is that shooting star that burns across a sky littered with static constellations  dom is a parttime filmmaker who graduated from northwestern universitys radiotvfilm programme not too long ago  he has laboured on various music videos and short films in and around campus and chicago  nowhere town  a 26min short film that he shot  codirected and coproduced recently scooped up the grand jury prize at the charleston international film festival for best student production  he is currently finishing a couple of small projects  with his minute amounts of leisure time  dom does nell impersonations  
pos	steven spielbergs  amistad   which is based on the true story of a group of africans who revolted on board a slave ship  then were captured and taken to america where a legal dispute ensued over who  owned  them  is concerned with several different aspects of this story  first  the film addresses the issue of the inherent evils of slavery  second  it deals with the historical involvement of several american politicians in the case  including president martin van buren and former president john quincy adams  anthony hopkins   last  and most importantly  it examines the cultural confusion experienced by the africans who were forced into slavery and the damage done to their native culture in africa by the slave trade   amistad  succeeds at least partly with all three of these elements  i have to admit that i was a little skeptical as to how much i could really get out of another  antislavery  movie  having seen several other movies and documentaries about slavery  i doubted that there was much i didnt already know about it  fortunately  i turned out to be wrong  for one thing  spielbergs camera never once gets near a southern plantation and instead sticks to the slave ships and the slave traders operations in africa  so  amistad  was dealing with a different part of the history of slavery from the very beginning  and some of the images here are  in fact  much more harrowing than what we usually see in movies about slavery  one scene in the middle  in which the crew of a slave ship dispose of some of their  excess  slaves by throwing them overboard to drown  has to be one of the most disturbing film images of the year  spielberg digs farther into the evils of slavery than i was expecting he would  and in fact he probably goes about as far as a movie director can without getting an nc17 rating  the stark suffering of the africans is contrasted sharply with the shallow luxury of the politicians  such as president van buren and queen isabella of spain  whose naval officers were involved in the legal dispute and who was only a small child at the time  exposing politicians as narrowminded  opportunistic hypocrites is fairly standard stuff  of course  but spielberg and writer david franzoni do it well enough that it still comes off as something more than just a simple exercise in audience manipulation  the film also examines the contentious nature of the slavery issue at the time  such that john quincy adams  and probably other politicians like him   who clearly disapproved of the practice  was reluctant to get involved in the case until it was appealed all the way to the supreme court  the biggest success of  amistad  is probably the characterization of cinque  djimon hounsou   who emerges as the de facto leader of the kidnapped africans and struggles to communicate with baldwin  matthew mcconaughey   the lawyer who represents them in court  through cinque  we are given a window into the native culture  as he and the displaced africans try to explain to the prison guards what they need for a proper burial of a dead tribe member  or find an illustrated version of the bible and try to understand the story of jesus christ  cinque sees the dispute with a clarity and simplicity that  again  contrasts with the technicalities and mechanics of the legal process and of the political squabbles   what kind of country is this  where laws almost work   he asks baldwin in bewilderment  when he learns that the case must be retried before the supreme court  spielbergs direction tends a little bit towards the manipulative side at times  such as when he adds a heavy orchestral swell to cinques angry outburst in the court room  still  there isnt enough of this for it to be a serious problem  the main flaw in this film  which prevents it from earning four stars  is that it seems like spielberg and franzoni cant quite handle all of these issues at the same time  so instead they settle for addressing each one separately and simply editing the results into the same movie  this summers contact  for example  dealt with several issues at once  but each of them was somehow present in almost every scene and  most importantly  all of them were resolved at once   amistad  tries to pull it all together in the end with a speech from adams  but it somehow feels a little forced  and in any case the speech itself  which lasts almost fifteen minutes  wears out its welcome about halfway through  perhaps the best way to describe it is this   amistad  is three four star films edited into one  almost every individual scene works  but the final product is lacking the necessary focus and coherence  and thus is less than the sum of its parts  however  i cant honestly say how it could have been done differently  and in any case the story comes through with enough raw emotional power that it is still a very good film  and thus i recommend it to anyone who can handle the disturbing imagery  
pos	he has spent his entire life in an awful little apartment  raised and cared for and imprisoned by his domineering mother  she inspires his love and his fear  and instills in him a similar love and fear of jesus  he has a rudimentary grasp of language  mouthing monosyllables and repetitions of his mothers phrases  he is taught that the world outside is fatally poisonous  his mother dons a gasmask whenever she goes out the door  he is 35yearsold in body  but a child in mind and spirit  he is the premise for bad boy bubby  a defiantly original australian movie about a man called bubby  nicholas hope  who has spent his entire life in an awful little apartment  etc   etc  then one day his father  ralph cotterill  appears  his father is a shabby downatheels priest who appears to have permanently misplaced his religion  unsurprisingly  he is not thrilled with the way  his  boy has turned out  he is  however  rather pleased at renewing his acquaintance with the mother  claire benito   and  more to the point  her ample breasts  soon they are copulating on the dingy couch  while bubby crouches  confused  in the next room  acutely aware that the mother who had devoted all her attention to him has a new interest  bubbys relationship to the world may be warped  but it is at least stable  the fathers arrival disturbs his precarious balance  causing an oedipal conflict which endsfreud would be pleasedin violence and  as a result  freedom  bubby intuits from his fathers arrival that the air outside is breathable  he leaves the apartment  his past  his world  behind  so far  so good  the first thirty minutes or so of bad boy bubby  which bring us to this point  are quite brilliant  the movie is at its best when its stays within the constraints of bubbys hermetic tworoom universe  it follows through unrelentingly on the implications of its premise  bubby is used by his mother for sex  he unwittingly suffocates the pet cat with cellophane  he is terrifed by the notion that jesus will beat him senseless if he sins  it is grim and savage and appalling  but also strangely tenderde heer  having imagined a life as bizarre as bubbys  does not exaggerate for comic or grotesqe purposes  but simply empathizes  he observes what it might be like  the intensity of these opening scenes  with their minimalist miseenscene  immerses us in a claustrophobic environment which seems to be a decayed stratum of our own world  and owes much to david lynchs eraserhead  not least the ambient industrial white noise of the soundtrack  for thirty minutes  the movie maintains the feel and mood of a reality that does not seem far removed from our own  then de heer lets bubby out  brings him into contact with our world  and the film never quite recovers  our unlikely hero finds himself in port adelaide  where he wanders the streets and meets people  where he suffers and learns and survives  he is seduced by a young woman from a salvation army band  how an antisocial halfwit with no sense of hygiene manages to get laid mere hours after his escape is not the sort of question the film encourages  wisely   he is given free pizza by a sympathetic waitress  he insults a traffic cop and is punched in the stomach  he shares a few beers in the back of a truck with a rock group  he is imprisoned and raped  he becomes a translator for mentally handicapped people whose speech is impaired beyond comprehension  he is loved by a motherly largebreasted nurse  carmel johnson     it goes on  by turns inventive  silly  tasteless  endearing  and sometimes all of these things at once  de heer never seems to be sure how bubby should interface with the real world  the tone shifts  uneasily  from fable to realism to satire and back again  the scenes which try to touch base with a believable version of reality are the weakest  the film is best understood as a kind of parable  and  indeed  the religious implications of bubbys experiences are foregrounded  icons of jesus on the cross hang from the mothers walls  bubby dons a priests collar stolen from his father  a church organplaying atheist lectures him on the necessity of unbelief  the woman who redeems him is named angel  the manifold stresses of our world do not shatter bubbys mind  do not fragment him into psychosis  rather  the world accomodates him  and heals him  although de heers touch is at times overbearing  bubbys salvation is touching  what seemd at first a harsh lesson in the damaging effects of the social construction of reality becomes a na  ve humanist tale of improbable hope  a hapless rock group write a song about bubby and sing it for him and so give him the gift of community  he returns the favour when he steps on stage one night and becomes their frontman  turning the fragmented impressions of his experiences into performance art  and turning the band into a popular draw  innocence triumphs  bubby becomes a holy fool  an idiot savant  and graces us with wisdom  its a strange turn of events  but by now we shouldnt be surprised  because bad boy bubby aint like other movies  
pos	being that it is a foreign language film with no known names with a select number theaters showing it   shall we dance  wont be seen by that many people  and thats a shame  this is a funny  enchanting  and goofy movie full of laughs  surprises  and wonderful dance sequences  the surprising thing about  shall we dance  is the universal appeal of the story  a us version is in the works  and its no wonder  its not really all that culture specific  although there is a narrated setup that adds some extra resonance to the proceedings  about the view the japanese culture has about ballroom dancing   the movie is so rich in character and appeal that this added layer isnt at all necessary to understand or enjoy the film  the only important unexplained japanesespecific reference that may leave some a bit puzzled is that 1000 yen is roughly 10  when you see the film  and you should see this film  youll know why   a middle aged company man realizes that achieving all the goals he set for himself in life  a house  a child  and good marriage  still doesnt translate into a fulfilled life  after glimpsing a melancholy beauty looking out from a dance studio window while on the train home from work  sugiyana  koji yakusho  decides after some trepidation to take up ballroom dance lessons in order to meet the woman who has stirred something in himself  after finding the weekly fees for private lessons from the elegant and beautiful mai  tamiyo kusakari  too rich for his blood  sugiyama opts for groups lessons simply to be near her  we then meet the players in this gem of a movie  who all have their own reasons for joining the class  later on  we meet aoki at the dance studio  naoto takenaka   a coworker and all out weirdo and one of the laugh riot highlights of the film  the story  laughs  and touching scenes evolve as the movie goes along  its a pleasure to watch such a wonderful film that is propelled almost solely by the characters and performances  its difficult to explain the charms of the film without revealing too much  the movie abounds with little revelations that subtly shape the characters  and in the end  each one is that much fuller and more understood by the time you leave the theater  its one of those movies that only the french seem to make anymore  no big plot  no special effects  no gunplay  no tragic consequences  no forced examinations of the nature of love  and no insights into the nature of evil  just a warm  funny  endearing film that will charm the pants off of you  when was the last time you left a theater feeling all warm and fuzzy inside   shall we dance  will do that to you without any treacly aftertaste  
pos	when i first heard of contact  the hype was building it up as a scifi blockbuster  now  with that in mind  coupled with the knowledge of jodie fosters involvement in the project  i thought  what in the world is foster doing in a scifi blockbuster      as it turned out  my expectations were completely nullified and turned topsyturvy  robert zemeckis  back from the euphoria created by his last film  forrest gump  once again proves his mastery in fusing tales of adventure with along the endearing lines of human spirit  dont get me wrong  contact is scifi  but with a definite difference  based on the late carl sagan novel of the same name  the story delves itself in questions on science and god  fact and faith  allie  foster  is a radio astronomer  she spends her time listening to the stars  via ultrahuge communication dishes in search of intelligent life beyond the solar system  her passion for longdistance communication is the result of her younger days being spent avidly in front of a hamradio system  a hobbyist radio communication device  which her latefather bought for her  a scene which particularly strengthens the audiences view of the passion is when she asked her father whether she could contact her latemother through the hamradio system in which her father replied  not even the most powerful radio in the world can do that  now   allies research is based on the seti project  search for extra terrestrial intelligence   in which she listens to radio emissions from other galaxies in the hope of finding one which would suggest intelligent manipulation  her work has never been off the scrutiny of the us government  which considers it a waste of taxpayers money and politically unviable  her supervisor  tom skerritt  pulls the plug on seti  undaunted  allie managed to gather a loyal group of believers and eventually found funding from a large private corporation  the following months were treacherous to their hopes and research as they are contantly pressured by the government but all that changed when one day  she caught an emission of a seemingly intelligent repeating soundwave  the news of her find attracted hordes of alien believers  cultist  the media and of course  the government  the situation became intense upon her discovery of pictorial plans on building a form of transport which were embedded within the repeating sound emission  as the world join forces to build this transport  allie is desperate to be the one to go  she enrols herself among a few hopefuls  to represent the world when the transport is ready for operation  her eligibility for the spot failed when she is questioned on her beliefs in the existence of god by the presidents spiritual advisor  mcconaughey   allie  being an atheist  a result of her belief in fact and science  refuses to budge upon questioning  at this point the movie plot thickens considerably as she is romantically involved with the presidents spiritual advisor  a strong point which propelled the movie is the depth of its main characters played by foster and mcconaughey  from the very first meeting scene  it is obvious that the two of them was sort of kindred spirits but they were worlds apart in almost all aspects  foster being a person drawn to science and facts and mcconaughey being one who believes in faith  hope and the power of the unseen  the meeting of their worlds  added with the situation which they are put into makes the entire storytelling process near flawless  many people who read the synopsis of this film would find it a tad too ridiculous  but by actually immersing yourself in it  gives you an entirely different perspective  one which is free from bias and preconceptions  zemeckis and his team of screen writers have done a remarkable job in telling this tale through film  contact works by not delving in controversy but rather  touches the thinking audience  urging them to ponder upon the questions raised in the film concerning fact and faith  whether one can actually find compromise within  i consider contact as one of the mustsees for this year  
pos	youve got to love disney  no matter what they serve up  it is a guaranteed success as long as its animated  kids have to go see the movie  then they have to get the toys  oh  the video came out  got to buy it  or risk little billys temper tantrums for the next month  all of this culminates in the childhood equivalent of a pilgrimage to mecca  a visit to the magic kingdom  stay at the disneyland hotel  buy a disney tshirt  eat an ice cream mickey mouse on a stick  its both a vertical and horizontal monopoly when you think about it  dale carnegie should have had it so good  whats most amazing is that all this success is in spite of a severe lack of originality  you see  disney animated features these days have two components  theme and plot  the theme changes with each new movie  the plot does not  the plot is a mold into which the characters of some ancient fable are dropped  and try as they might to rise above the characters of previous features  they are nearly always destined to do no more than the same  however  while the success of a disney animated feature is generally a given as far as boxoffice receipts  merchandising dollars  and glimmers in the eyes of little children  critically they are as varied as anything else that hollywood has to offer  luckily  disneys latest animated offering  mulan  manages to be engaging and refreshing  even while rife with formula  the film starts with the invasion of ancient china by the huns  led by the imposing shanyu  miguel ferrer   soon  chinas emperor  pat morita  mobilizes his armies and decrees that one male from each family in the country shall serve to fight in chinas defense  when the fa family is served notice  it is the elderly father  fa zhou  soontek oh  who must answer the call  as there are no other males in the household  fearing her father will surely be killed in battle  fa mulan  mingna wen  disguises herself as a man and sneaks off with the royal orders to join the chinese army  mulan  based on a chinese epic poem  is a classic tale of the triumph of the ugly duckling  mulan herself is a disgrace to her loving family  as she has a difficult time fitting into the traditional womans role  and in a very amusing scene where a matchmaker attempts to assess her value to a potential husband  we see that  grace  is not one of her strong points  very early on  we are presented with the high importance of bringing honor to ones family  and by botching her chance at gaining the favor of the matchmaker  mulan fails at that task  by leaving home to fight in her fathers place  she may not only spare his life  but bring honor  too  as is the case with most disney musicals  the songs are first rate and pervasive throughout the film  im not sure if they will get much airplay  but at least one of the songs will no doubt receive recognition come oscar time  both lea salonga  who provides the singing voice for mulan  and donny osmond who sings for shang  the captain of mulans army unit and obligatory love interest  are more than competent  although salongas voice translates much better to animation  you have to hear it to understand  interestingly  the musical numbers which are so often done with big flourishes are surprisingly muted in mulan  there is no significantly big number  which is customary as the second or third song in a disney film  but this does not detract significantly from the rest of the movie  it is  however  an expectation which has been built by disneys own formulaic history  and some viewers may feel as if something is missing  artistically  the animators have chosen to adopt the more subdued pastels of chinese artwork  and although this may not live up to the vibrance so associated with many of the other disney works  it helps to contribute a more authentic  and therefore more credible  nature to what otherwise may be seen as a typically  disneyfied  ethnic tale  there are also a couple of visually standout scenes  one involving the charge of shanyus hun army  which utilizes the same computerenhanced imagery disney animators have employed since the chandelier in beauty and the beast  the other scene worth mentioning is so quick you might miss it  when mulan resolves to take her fathers place  she dons her fathers old battle armor  and unsheathes a sword  as she does so  you can see her reflection in the polished metal  it just left me thinking   that was really cool   a wonderful range of performances delight the audience throughout the film  varying from the straight  such as soontek oh as fa zhou  to the comical  such as harvey fierstein as yao  a gruff  pugilistic member of shangs conscripted army  even more outrageous is eddie murphy as mushu  the diminutive guardian dragon sent to look after mulan  although an obvious attempt to relive the chemistry brought forth by robin williams in aladdin  murphy nevertheless distinguishes himself with his own winning performance  i found the choice of b  d  wong as shang a little strange  you may remember him as martin shorts wedding planner assistant in the father of the bride   but they used robbie benson for the voice of the beast in beauty and the beast  so i guess anythings possible  in any event  wong performs admirably as well  one character which provides a significant amount of humor is grandmother fa  she deserves recognition not only because of the levity she brings to the movie  but also because she is voiced by two very remarkable people  june foray  who supplies grandmother fas speaking voice  is a venerable voice actress who may be best known for her work as rocky the squirrel and natasha fatale  as in boris and natasha   marni nixon  who provides grandmother fas singing voice  is the same vocalist who dubbed the voices for anna in the king and i  maria in west side story  and eliza in my fair lady  with this in mind  hearing grandmother fa is like listening to a little piece of history  mulan is the latest disney animated feature to get away from some of the eurocentrism which for so long dominated disney films  in an effort to be culturally sensitive  and to avoid a  miss saigon  type debacle   disney has also wisely chosen to employ many asianamerican actors for both lead and supporting roles  in addition to the actors already mentioned  the cast includes such ubiquitous talents as james hong  gedde watanabe  james shigeta  and george takei  i guess clyde kusatsu wasnt available  at a running time of slightly under an hour and a half  mulan moves quickly and provides solid entertainment for both children and  happily  adults  this is the kind of disney feature that makes you wonder what they will do next  rather than hope that the next one is better  
pos	with three pre to midteen children and an aging fatherinlaw to care forcooking and cleaning and laundry  dropoffs at little league practice and pickups from ballet practicemargaret halls life is rife with complications  and with her naval officer husband stationed somewhere in the north atlantic  virtually impossible to reach by telephone  margaret leads the crazed life of a single parent  but margarets hectic world is about to get a lot more complicated  her teenage son beau  a talented trumpet player with strong prospects of being accepted into wesleyan universitys music program  has fallen in with the wrong crowd  his mother drives from their idyllic  lakeside community of tahoe city  california to the sprawling urban metropolis of reno  nevada  with its imposing concrete superstructures and seedy neonlit nightclubs  to confront the 30something man who has befriended beau   stay away from my son  margaret warns darby reese  her words  however  appear to fall on deaf ears as reese turns up drunk at the family homestead later that evening  urging beau to join him in the boathouse  there are words and advances and some pushing and shoving and beau runs back into the house  passed his startled mother  as the crack of a wooden railing giving way breaks the cold blue silence and an intoxicated reese tumbles out of sight  the next day  on her morning walk  margaret discovers reeses lifeless body lying crumpled on the shoreline  a boat anchor impaled in his chest  with her maternal instincts working overtime  margaret quickly ferries the body out into the lake  weighs it down  and dumps it overboard  but margarets life is about to get a lot more complicated  soon after the body is discovered  snagged on a local fishermans line  margaret is paid a visit by an attractiveseeming blackmailer in a red nova  alek spera threatens to hand over compromising videotape of beau to the police unless margaret comes up with 50  000 by 4 oclock the next day  but margarets life is about to get a lot more complicated  for alek turns out to be something she never expected  based on elisabeth sanxay holdings novel  the blank wall    the deep end  is a wellcrafted thriller written and directed by scott mcgehee and david siegel   suture    it makes the most of a talented but not particularly wellknown castgoran visnjic plays alek with a suave likeability  jonathan tucker shines as the conflicted beau  peter donat is amusing as grandfather hall  and josh lucas has an equally small but effective role as the hapless darby reese  the film is also lovingly photographed by giles nuttgens and features an evocative score  courtesy peter nashel  but it owes everything to british actress tilda swinton  swinton  whose palefaced ethereal beauty has graced many of derek jarmans films   caravaggio    edward ii    the last of england    plays margaret hall in  the deep end  and  like charlotte rampling in this years  under the sand   turns in a commanding and accomplished performance  margaret is a devoted mother who is willing to risk everything to protect the ones she loves  and swinton captures every frustration  every fear  every subtle examination and every fervent realization and every nervous oscillation of her being  the role calls for an extremely wide range of emotions none the least of which is simply playing a mother beset with a multitude of domestic responsibilities  many can relate to that  of course  its the murder coverup and the blackmail and the fear of losing ones son that swinton so gracefully  so graciously  makes resonate with the truest of colors  the end is deep all right  and there isnt a single shallow moment in tilda swintons canon  
pos	i hate to burst your bubble  but after all the star power  mega bucks  screenwriters  directors  and cool trailers  men in black is not the best movie of the summer  its pretty good in its own right  yes  but i would probably split the  best movie  honors among faceoff  spawn  con air  and maybe event horizon  its main problem is that its quickly forgettable  and i cant remember one truly good scene from it  from con air  it was the scene out in the desert when they were digging the plane out from the dirt  in spawn  it was the  living room hell  conclusion at the end  in event horizon  it was the video of the event horizon crew being taken over by hells forces  and all of faceoff was pretty dang good  but as for men in black  the only scene i still recall is when will smith is squishing all those giant roaches  i remember it not for its humor but because i am hate roaches with a passion and was pretty disgusted  and yes  i did see mimic  which is something ill touch on in a later review  back to men in black  is it just me  or does that sound funny   i remember first hearing about men in black back when i was a comic geek in the 7th grade and read magazines like wizard  etc   for those of you who arent comicgeeks  wizard is basically to comics what car and driver is to cars  what the new yorker is to high society  what boys life is to boy scots  okay  that one was pretty pathetic   few people know this  but men in black is based on a very obscure comic book that was  while not honestpoliticianrare  very hard to find  this was after the release of the highgrossing batman forever  and it said that tommy lee jones and chris odonnell were being considered for the roles  in the comic book  there were no black men in black  kind of weird  huh   all i can say is  thank god they didnt cast chris odonnell  i know i cant be the only person on the planet who thinks hes an annoying  preppie little snot    sorry  my apologies to odonnell fans  i actually had a 7th grade teacher who was a big comic collector and was set to buy some of the comics from him  anticipating rather craftily that  if the movie was a big hit  it would drive up the price of the comics rather nicely  he decided not to sell them to me  because they were  innappropriate   hmm     so now youre probably wondering why ive wasted about 5 paragraphs with lame anecdotes from my junior high years  good question  ill move on to the movie now  as you probably already know  will smith and tommy lee jones  agents k and j  respectively  belong to a top secret agency known as divison 5  or its nickname mib  men in black   men in black is a reference to the black suits and sunglasses the agents wear  and theyre mission is to investigate reports of alien landings and keep the aliens under control while theyre here on earth  not to get too technical or spoil the plot for the 6 people in the world who havent seen this movie  but a basicallybigroachtypebug lands in a redneck farmers yard  inhabits his body  and attempts to destroy the entire universe  not bad  eh   i have no idea why i just typed that  im not even really paying attention anymore   the special effects are good yet dissapointing in men in black  i found their main headquarters to be boring  as were the  cool weapons  they had  the noisy cricket just plain sucked  no matter what anyone said  and the movie definitely surprised me in tone  although it probably shoudlnt have  its director  barry sonnenfield  is known for  black humor   directing both addams family movies  this movie was basically a  black comedy   not an actionscifi like i expected from the trailers  dont get me wrong on what i think of this movie  its not bad  i gave it     it was mostly entertaining throughout its run  and had a very good ending  although i think i was the only person in the theater not amazed by it  my diagnosis for this picture  a good weekend rental  but not worth a movie ticket  of course  the movie is now long gone from theaters  but thats beside the point  i think  
pos	susan grangers review of  osmosis jones   warner bros   if the farrelly brothers taught anatomy  physiology in school  no one would cut ever class  this hip  live actionanimation story begins as a monkey snatches a hardboiled egg from frank  a zookeeper  bill murray   who grabs it back  drops it  then gobbles up the contaminated morsel  explaining   if it hits and ground and you pick it up within 10 seconds  you can eat it   like  fantastic voyage   1966   the pseudoscience animation then takes over when his bodys immune system contacts traffic control as an ingested virus hits the digestive system   be on the alert for illegal organisms   eager to right  a stomach evacuation mistake  he once made  a cocky  clever  courageous white blood cell  chris rock  declares   this is a crime scene   and teams up with a conscientious  phi beta capsule  12hour cold remedy called drixenol  david hyde pierce  to chase down and destroy the deadly  red death  virus  laurence fishburne  thats determined to take frank down in 48 hours  beating ebola and e  coli to a medical record  watch out for mucus mudslides  chaos in cerebellum hall and the detritus from booger dam  runny nose   along with comic turns from molly shannon and chris elliot  plus the voices of william shatner and brandy norwood  peter and bobby farrelly  along with writer mark hyman and animation directors piet kroon and tom sito  have turned their penchant for grossout comedy  encompassing flatulence  festering sores and  popping a pimple without a permit   into a funny  farrellyfunny family film  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   osmosis jones  is a wildly imaginative  original  explosive 7  and perhaps  as theyre laughing  kids will learn where to find their uvula  along with nuggets about nutrition and hygiene  
pos	i must say from the outset that i have never been much of a kurt russell fan  ive seen some of his films  silkwood  backdraft  unlawful entry  and while he gave adequate performances  i have never been impressed with his work  breakdown  then  is something of a surprise  russell gives a fine performance  as do most of the cast  one that is not upstaged by the action orchestrated in the second half of the film  to say that he holds the film together would not be completely true  but he does it no harm  russell plays jeff  one half of a married couple travelling with his wife amy  kathleen quinlan  cross country to san diego to start a new job and a new life  while journeying through the desert their car breaks down and  left helpless and stranded  jeff waves down a passing truck driver  j  t  walsh  who offers to take them to a nearby diner to call for a tow truck  because of a nasty incident earlier with a couple of ruffians  jeff decides to stay with the car while amy gets help  that  it seems  is the last time jeff  or anyone else  sees her  breakdown has been compared to several movies  george sluizers the vanishing  the original  hopefully  not his appalling hollywood remake   steven spielbergs duel and any number of hitchcock films  as with these  breakdown does not  for the most part  stray down the conventional path of the american actionthriller  jeff does not become a guntoting vigilante on the hunt for his wife  but instead becomes a scared  confused everyman who has no idea what the hell is going on  when we do find out what has happened to amy  it does come as a slight disappointment  if only because its too early in the film  i for one could have done with an extra twenty minutes or so of mystery and bewilderment  but this affects the film little  russell  as mentioned earlier  is very good in his role  and kathleen quinlan is nowhere near as annoying as she was in apollo 13  j  t  walsh  as the possibly evil truck driver  is terrific  he is one of the best of the fine batch of character actors hollywood doesnt seem to know what to do with  but director jonathan mostow is on the right track here  the reason he makes such a great villain is that he actually looks like a real person  one anyone would be able to trust  which makes the plot that much more believable  breakdown is what hollywood doesnt make enough of  a great thriller with believable characters and scenes that do  indeed  have viewers on the edge of their seats  one of the most genuinely exciting films ive seen in a long time  
pos	with the success of the surprise hit alien  directed by ridley scott  a sequel was inevitable  in fact  after watching the first film  a sequel was wanted  particularly by this reviewer  handing over the directors chair to recent box office gem james cameron  who had only made two films previous to this one  pirahna ii  a surprisingly dull film  and terminator  making cameron a household name   the alien series got a facelift of immense proportions  instead of being a suspensescience fiction film  cameron alters the series and changing it into an action picture  what results is one of the most terrifying films ever created  a film like aliens comes along only once in a while  and when it does  audiences are usually unprepared for it  i never saw this movie in theaters  but i wish i could have  the terror and fright must have been unimaginable  most likely with audiences members literally shrieking in fear  aliens is an action film unlike any i have ever seen  with a science fiction plot  cameron gives aliens added testosterone  pumping up the action and fire power from the original film  in fact  aliens is one of those few sequels which tops the original  perhaps what makes the alien series so impressive is the heroor heroine  as the case may be  never have we had a more sympathetic hero in an action film  and never have i seen such an impressive acting job done by the main character  sigourney weaver is possibly the only actress who could play this character and make her realistic enough for us to care about  placing a woman in these situations would sometimes seem unusual  but because of weavers presence  a woman is the only suitable hero  aliens begins 57 years after alien ended  lieutenant ellen ripley  weaver  is discovered in hypersleep on the nostromo and is awakened  she explains how she is the only survivor of her past encounter with the aliens  but  the company  is doubtful  they explain that a colony of families is flourishing on the same planet from which she just left  despite stern warnings from ripley  the company remains rigid and wont call the families back  however  when the company loses contact with the colony  ripleys story seems much more feasible  one of the companys directors  carter burke  paul reiser   wants to gather a team to travel to the planet  this team includes a buff private vasquez  jenette goldstein   a questionable corporal hicks  michael biehn   and a loyal android bishop  lance henriksen   burke tags along with ripley as they fly to the planet in order to locate the members of the colony  arriving on the planet  the team finds most of the human life extinguished in a cocoontype environment  the only survivor is 12 year old rebecca  newt  jorden  carrie henn   ripley finds this a chance to be the mother she never had the opportunity to become  and she becomes newts surrogate mother  ripley and newt are the only ones who knows what has happened  and soon  all hell breaks loose  aliens not only multiplies the thrills and suspense from scotts version  it also multiplies the number of aliens in general  alien focused on one alien in particular which systematically killed each crew member  except ripley  who managed to jettison the alien out of the nostromo  aliens focuses on an entire race of these aliens  and as a result  the chills are incredibly heightened  then again  this is james cameron  the guy who has given us true lies and terminator 2  judgment day  he is the best action director out there  topping renny harlin  who directed cliffhanger   and only he could create something as terrifying as this film  it seems that every alien film seems to have some memorable scene or scenes  and aliens has the motherload  with perhaps one of the most astonishing endings ever created for an action film  aliens climax never seems to hit until the viewer is nearly pushed to extreme exhaustion  i cant recall another film ever to sustain this level of intensity throughout  never dropping for a moment  just when you think the movie is over  something else will occur  and it starts right back up again  with a seemingly endless conclusion  aliens ends with one of the greatest moments in film history  this scene is usually the one remembered most from the film  as lieutenant ripley steps into one of the lifting machines to fight the alien queen  using flawless special effects  the climax is exhausting  leaving any audience member drained from extreme anxiety  of course  for a film of this genre to work properly  the technical aspects must be realistic enough for us to believe what we see  aliens is completely realistic  even a decade after its initial release  the special effects are wonderfully seamless  with a terrifying alien to go with them  one of the most overlooked aspects of this film is the music  composed by cameronregular james horner  horner has created a terrific score  receiving an oscar nomination for his work  not only that  horner has also created one of the best scores for any action film  or science fiction film ever  and that includes 2001  a space odyssey  which was mainly a compilation of wellknown composers   in fact  the climax music is also some of the most recognized of film music  the production design is incredible  which also happened to snag a nomination from the academy  dark corridors lit by red lights are very impressive  but more impressive is the amount of terror which arises from welllit locations  normally a film will be very dark in order to scare a viewer  aliens uses lights to scare the viewer  then  of course  is the cinematography  which uses point of view shots  along with video feeds in order to build suspense  some of the scariest scenes involve the perspective of ripley  surprisingly  the acting is not only above average for this genre  but some of the best  sigourney weaver received an oscar nomination for her portrayal of ripley  incorporating the right amount of sympathy into her hardedged persona  weaver soars above the rest in this film  but she is supposed to  carrie henn gives an above average performance for a child  developing a threedimensional character from her quiet attitude  lance henriksen is terrific as bishop  showing that androids dont always have to be flat characters  jenette goldstein shows a fair amount of enthusiasm with her role  and steals several scenes of her own  though her personality becomes slightly annoying when she isnt fighting   michael biehn gives a very nice performance in the most obligatory role of the film  however  biehn does a good job  making it seem original again  paul reiser may seem like an odd choice to play the sleazy corporate director  but reiser manages to pull it off quite well  however  i still see him as paul on tvs  mad about you    a very good cast  which also includes bill paxton and william hope  highlights this action film  making it stand out from others  aliens is rightfully rated r for violence  gore  language  and terror  aliens is sort of the redefining moment of the science fiction genre  as alien was more of a suspensehorror film  aliens pumps up the stakes  and cameron directs it with professional quality  cameron certainly knows how to make a good action film  but here he proves how he can create some truly horrific moments on screen  technically astonishing  aliens only flaw is small characters who are only there to get killed  aside from this  you probably wont experience anything like aliens for quite a while  
pos	ingredients  neophyte lawyer  legal situations  corrupt insurance company  synopsis  rudy baylor  matt damon  is an ethical kid fresh out of law school who must juggle three legal situations at the same time  rudys girlfriend is attacked by her violent husband  rudys elderly landlady wants to arrange her will so that her children are excluded  and  the family of rudys friend with leukemia is suing the corrupt insurance company that wouldnt pay for a bone marrow transplant  rudy is new to being a lawyer and is thoroughly outgunned  but luckily he is aided by a sleazy ambulance chaser  danny devito  who has failed the bar exam six times as well as by the kindly presiding judge  danny glover   jon voight plays leo f  drummond  the intimidating and arrogant leader of the allpowerful insurance companys team of lawyers who will do anything to oppose justice  will rudy defeat leo  will he enjoy being a lawyer  opinion  the good news is that this movie has a happy ending  and it features a guy trying to do the right thing  director francis ford coppola does this film a little differently than the stereotypical law movie  in the typical lawyer movie theres one big case and the movie focuses on solving it  and somewhere along the line surprise witnesses and motives turn up before the good guy wins  after lots of gripping courtroom drama   however  coppolas movie is deliberately more low key  the rainmaker plays out like a personality sketch of young rudy as he gets emotionally involved with and tries to save various little quirky side characters  in the background rudys voice narrates his feelings and makes halfcynical jokes about the legal profession in general  two factors combine to make this movie less heavy than it can be  first  rudys time is split juggling three cases  rather than concentrating on a single highstakes case  also  rudys use of voice narration in place of acting makes the film lose some of its dramatic edge  the end result is an entertaining low key law movie where the good guys win  and rudy narrates his way into coming of age  
pos	in one of my many videos i have attained from the local library  casablanca was my third classic in some weeks  the others being citizen kane and vertigo  yes  i am trying to see as many of afis greatest movies ever made as i can   but  casablanca stood out from the rest for me  it was actually watchable  what most hail as the greatest american film ever  casablanca isnt so much a love story as a political frenzy with a love triangle thrown in  it seems that star humphry bogart spend about 85 percent of the movie with various leaders of the nation instead of with ingred bergman  that annoyed me  as did the ending  why didnt the plan turn around    surprisingly  i enjoyed the film  i liked bogarts character and his acting  not over the top as most actors in his era   i once read about if you had a choice to be in a movie  which one would it be  and a women said casablanca  at first i was thinking to myself  why   then  as i watched the film again  i understood why  the movie is very well done and the script topnotch  although i doubt i understood more than half of the political mumbo jumbo  casablanca is  in my mind  no classic  like solaris   but it is a good film and stylishly shot  hey  hollywood  how about this  a remake with harrison ford and anne heche  now that would be a classic  
pos	capsule  suprisingly more of a comedy than a straight action flick  which isnt necessarily a bad thing  not exactly oscar caliber  but one helluva bulletriddled good time  extended review  you know  i remember when hitmen were evil  murderous scum  alas  the times are achangin  in a recent string of movies  hitmen are suddenly wise cracking  funloving killerswithhearts  this brings us to hong kong director kirk wongs first american feature  the big hit  oddly enough  about the same time last year a similar film  grosse point blank  was released  advertised as a quirky comedy with hints of action  it turned out to have a suprising dosage of it  the big hit is quite the opposite  it was hyped as  the new film from producer john woo   so one would it expect lots of stylized killing and action  however  theres a sore lack of it  which is about the only thing wrong with the big hit  the film starts out with mel smiley and his cohorts doing a job on a white slaver  mel  played by mark wahlberg in a dopey  milquetoast role  is a killing machine  he flips  spins  even breakdances whilst popping caps  sadly  he doesnt get a chance to do much of it  except for the beginning set piece and the last 20 twenty minutes or so  the film is in comedy mode  the action  at least what there is of it  is prime cut stuff  wong  after numerous hong kong features  makes quite a nice u  s  debut  however  his pacing is a bit off  with the action sequences only bookending the movie and not lasting long enough  they start off electrifying and fresh  but just kinda stop  normally  this would hamper a movie to the point of being unenjoyable  luckily  we have ben ramseys screenplay  a bitingly funny piece of work  the only problem is there might be too much humor  one joke makes you laugh so hard you miss the next few  some of best gags include an oriental film maker down on his luck and one of mels hitmen pals that has just discovered onanism  the only problem is how some of the minor characters are handled  some being there only for a laugh  which sometimes works  sometimes doesnt  overall  the big hit may have its flaws  but it makes up for them in a stylishly directed  gutwrenchingly funny joyride  definately one of the better ways to spend two hours  
pos	 when will the devil take me   he asks rhetorically in lulling voice over  the spoiled title character of onegin  pronounced ohneggin  is waiting on death to relieve him after a lifetime of rapacious behaviour  martha fiennes debut feature is  quite literally  filmed poetry  its based on an epic russian poem by alexander pushkin   a profound study of regret  of how we confuse shame with guilt  when we first meet eugene onegin  ralph  acting for his sister  another brother  magnus  composed the score   a philandering aristocrat from st  petersburg  he has just inherited his uncles estate  with plans to sell it  onegin pays a summer visit to the manor  which is located in an underpopulated russian countryside  and not long into the trip he meets a neighbouring family of blue bloods  smitten with olga larina  headey   he befriends olgas fianc   vladimir lensky  stephens   while olgas sister  tatyana  tyler   romanticizing his flippant attitude  hes a nineteenth bad boy   falls for onegin  in one sweaty  inky torrent of passion  tatyana writes him a love letter  he is at least intrigued by the note but rejects her affections  it is implied  because he can  soon after  tragedy strikes  and onegin makes himself scarce  when we catch up with him  six years later  he has just returned to st  petersburg  where at a grand ball he discovers that an old friend  donovan  has married a more womanly and wordly tatyana  this time  onegin finds her irresistable  what is most amazing about ralph fiennes performance is his subtle physical transformation from dashing snob to miserly grouch  overwhelmed by a top hat  the onegin who pines for tatyana seems smaller in stature than the one who brushed her off  an ebeneezer scrooge trapped in christmas past  the actor has been constricted playing heroes for too long nowtheres room to breathe in a role thats made up of shades of gray like  onegin   petula clark sang of a universal phenomenon in  parking lot    you dont know what youve got  til its gone   onegins aboutface on tatyana speaks for those of us  read  most of us  who need confirmation that someone or something is wanted by others before we want it as well  what the character feels is not jealousy but remorse  embarrassment  even  at having let her go  out of identification we feel empathy for onegin  a callous bastard  tatyanas emotions echo a thousand ditties  but that makes them no less vital  she changes  too  from a girl in crush to a woman with divided loyalties  tyler acquits herself surprisingly well among her uk costars  filling in sketchy gaps by expressing base sentiments in a series of wanton stares  they both have faces  mr  fiennes and ms  tyler  capable of conveying archetypal russian misery  onegin could have added up to little more than a distinguished episode of  masterpiece theater   even with its current cast of thoroughbreds intact  were martha fiennes not at the helm  an mtv background  she cut her teeth directing rock videos for xtc and others  has positively influenced her sense of pace  though  thankfully  not her shot lengthsno spasmodic cutting here   at just over 100 minutes  onegin clicks along like a brisk walk through valleys of despair  the film has an atypical period look  as well  absent are the sumptuous tableware and antique furnishings that stand in for plot and character in those drippy merchant ivory productions  the sets are almost expressionistically bare  echoing the loneliness of the protagonists   cinematographer remi adafarasin often allows space to engulf them  im reminded the climax  which unfolds in a sea of white   martha fiennes has a clear command of cinema  and her spare  often painfully human visual presentation of  yevgeny onegin  is arguably the most lucid translation of pushkins difficult text yet  ms  fiennes may be the most exciting female presence behind a camera since jane campion  
pos	bruce barths mellow piano plays in the background as conflict erupts in a little country town of florida  ulees gold feels like another fonda creation on golden pond  it has a soft  calm surface with a tempest brewing underneath  the cinematography creates a place of gold  yellow  and olive colors  the music is stirring and tranquil  both deal with the hardships of family life  peter fonda gives his undoubtedly best performance in victor nu  ezs new film and patricia richardson  home improvement star  shows she is worthy of big screen attention  nu  ez is probably independent films greatest asset  along with john sayles  and he proves his talent with a slow pace and undulating  heavy tension  peter fondas performance borrows from his father henry fondas in on golden pond there is a great vulnerability that he gives the character ulee jackson and just like his father  peter fonda is quiet  emotional  and weary in this exceptional role  ulee jackson  the films protagonist  is struggling  pressure is mounting at the wrong time  he is a beekeeper and this is his  busy  season  he has to deal with his two granddaughters needs and erupting hormones  he is forced to pick up his daughterinlaw in orlando who is strung out on drugs and take care of her  and he is faced with a challenging task  unsettled business his son  who is now in prison  has left behind  he finds his daughterinlaw  helen  with the two men his son robbed a bank with  she has apparently told these two men that the money that resulted from the robbery is with her husband  that is why he got caught the police found him with the money  now the two men are demanding they get the cash  or they will come after ulees two granddaughters  ulee promises he will bring it to them and takes a deranged helen back to his serene little home where her two children that she abandoned scrutinize her with contempt  ulee is a man who lost his pals in war he was the only man in his platoon to survive  he refuses help from anybody and does not respond to affectionate gestures  he is a bitter  closedoff man whose only passion is his beekeeping  his granddaughters  and his dead wife  connie  his next door neighbor  finally gets through to him with friendly favors  she is a nurse and helps helen get through her turmoil with drugs  ulees gold is the story of a man who believes he is fine as he is until the truth is revealed painfully to him  he is cold and unfeeling  of course  in the end  ulee softens up  but his journey is absorbing and we have fallen in love with his tiredness and weariness  what is admirable about the movie is peter fondas winning turn as ulee and the story that feels like nobodys fool but  in the end  ends up in a class of its own  
pos	susan grangers review of  big eden   jour de fete  its utopia  this tiny town tucked away in the timberland of northwestern montana  where old codgers lounge on the porch of the general store to pass the time away and the local matchmakers  nan martin  louise fletcher  eagerly pair off the young people  regardless of sexual preference  theres nary a homophobe or bigot around  much to the surprise of henry hart  arye gross   a successful but lonely manhattan artist who returns home to care for sam  george coe   the ailing grandfather who raised him  and with the simultaneous reappearance of his bestfriend from highschool and object of his unrequited love  tim dekay   now divorced with two young sons  the fact of his homosexuality must be faced  to complete the triangle  theres the tall  taciturn native american  eric schweig  who owns the general store and lovingly yet secretly prepares gourmet meals for henry and sam  this fable about home and family is a major debut for firsttime filmmaker thomas bezucha  a former designer for coach and poloralph lauren  who is meticulous about minding details  using ballads like  welcome to my world  and  achin  breakin heart  to set up the concept of our universal longing to find a place in which we can love and be loved  in the paradise of big eden  what you are doesnt matter as much as generosity of spirit  respect and kindness  sure  the plots implausible but its a goodnatured fantasy so allowances should be made  and rob sweeneys photography of glacier national park is spectacular  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   big eden  is a charming  quirky  offbeat 7  its a heartwarming romantic comedy about a gay man who doesnt die of aids or wind up alone at the end  
pos	when you go to the movies as much as i do  you unfortunately end up seeing certain movie trailers one too many times  such was the case with frequency  every time i went to a screening  there was the frequency preview  it looked awful  it looked cheesy  sappy and ridiculous  it looked like a flop  well  whoever put that trailer together should be fired  because in terms of pure entertainment  frequency is one of the best of the year thus far  frequency boasts a compelling story line  an occurrence of freakish solar activity allows police detective john sullivan  james caviezel  to speak to his fireman father frank sullivan  dennis quaid  through a ham radio  despite the fact that frank has been dead for 30 years  john is able to give his father information that prevents his death in a warehouse fire  but by doing so causes other changes  somehow  a serial killers reign of terror  which in the original timeline had been stopped at three murders  extends to ten victims    including johns mother  this is director gregory hoblits third film  the other two being primal fear and fallen   with all three  hes managed to attach himself to great scripts  this one by toby emmerich  whose only previous movie experience was as a music supervisor on numerous new line films  and add equally great direction  also  he apparently likes to have his films wrap up with a kickass ending  frequency is no exception  the ending is unpredictable and incredibly satisfying  hoblit is three for three  and i hope he can keep it up  now everyone can argue logic this and logic that all you want with the scifi elements of frequency  but the fact of the matter is that time travel has never been achieved  whos to say how something works and how it doesnt when its never happened  is it because weve become accustomed to time travel  laws  from other places like  star trek  and the back to the future trilogy and  quantum leap   yes  if you sit down and think about it  certain plot elements in this film probably wont make any sense  most films are like that  dont let that dissuade you from seeing this fantastically entertaining film however  when frequency was over  it made me wish i had seen it with my father so i could have given him a hug  okay okay  shut up   when you break it down past all its scifi elements and serial killer antics  frequency is simply a movie about a father and his son and the bond that they share  its touching  its sincere  and its what ultimately makes this movie work  pg13 
pos	it must be tough to be a mob boss  just ask paul vitti  robert deniro   a man who finds his job as mafia head to be rather stress inducing  i can believe it  too  one cant even begin to fathom the turmoil he must go through when hes forced to choose between an ice pick  baseball bat or sledgehammer to torture victims with  suffering from reoccurring panic attacks  paul decides he needs to consult some professional help  and who better than billy crystal  after appearing in bottomofthebarrel flops  fathers day and my giant  crystal finally finds a reliable costar and some very promising material here  playing vittis private shrink  the two very different stars strike an unorthodox  but interesting relationship that carries this enjoyable comedy on a steady wave of laughs from start to finish  casting robert deniro as paul vitti is something of an injoke  i think  placed in this mobsters shoes  deniro gets to spoof characters he himself played in films like the godfather  part ii and casino  its obvious hes having a lot of fun doing so  the man behind the camera is harold ramis  whose credits include ghostbusters  as writer and star   and his best directing effort  the bill murray vehicle  groundhog day  ramis has a knack for drawing laughs because he simply knows whats funny  and here he manages to accentuate the strengths of nearly all the actors  the only character who weakens the payoff is crystals bridetobe  lisa kudrow   playing the same dumbeddown role as she does in friends  kudrow is amusing  but doesnt fit into this comedy mold as well as the director may have hoped  the supporting cast sparkles  joe viterelli is hilarious as jelly  vittis pea brained righthand man  and chazz palminteri is a show stopper playing a fellow mobster whos in desperate need of the definition of closure  the movie manages to maintain consistent chuckles throughout  putting the emphasis on 3 or 4 really big laughs that will have audiences grasping their sides  the situation is just too cute to resist  its unfortunate that the language gets somewhat out of hand  but hey  if youre in the mafia  using obscenities probably comes naturally  and near the end  seeing billy crystal attempt to walk and talk like a mob boss is truly a special treat  
pos	the cavemans valentine starring samuel l  jackson  ann magnuson  aunjanue ellis  tamara tunie screenplay by george dawes green  based on his novel directed by kasi lemmons    for more film  dvd and books about movie reviews  plus annual coverage of the toronto international film festival  visit film freak central  http  filmfreakcentral  net  now with search engine    a strange mixture of shine  basquiat  angel heart  and grant morrison  dave mckeans graphic novel  arkham asylum   the cavemans valentine is a feverish tale of a homeless madmancumdetective who  on the morning of february 14th  discovers a  valentine  just outside his new york cave  one of ella fitzgeralds strange fruit  stuck in the crotch of a treea young male model murdered and frozen to a branch  believing at first that his imagined nemesis stuyvesant  shooting evil rays into his mind from atop the chrysler building  is responsible for the murder  romulus  samuel l  jackson  is put on the trail of an avantgarde photographer in the mapplethorpe mould  david leppenraub  colm feore   his minor sleuthing interrupted by the occasional delusional fit and bouts with an ecstasy of creation  romulus was a brilliant julliardtrained pianist prior to his psychosis   romulus uncovers clues and harasses suspects on his way to convincing his policewoman daughter  aunjanue ellis  that even though hes a nut  that doesnt mean that he cant solve a highprofile society murder  every moment an exhausting workshop of ideas  and every character the same  the cavemans valentine is a concept so  high concept  that it suddenly became clear to me that the film fits into the comic book genre of entertainment  with romuluss  caveman  a slightly more mundane version of todd mcfarlanes urban noir hero  spawn  with a longvanished wife  tamara tunie  acting as a spiritual guide  the occasional social caste commentary  the secret base in a cave  a divergent genius personality with a network of informants and supporters  and a wickedly colourful archenemy  the film piles on the lurid comic book details and dizzying slapdash colours to such a lavish extent that i was vaguely surprised that the blue police cars werent inscribed with  gotham pd   that being said  the cavemans valentine can only really succeed as a heroic fantasy  a frank miller graphic novel that has the audacity to portray the blood staining a field of virgin snow expanding to form the shape of a heart  the difficulties with the film spring from the misunderstanding that it somehow adheres to the conventions of a thriller or a police procedural when  in fact  the cavemans valentine is a superhero fable that takes on the cause of the homeless  again like mcfarlanes spawn  while attacking the entrenched ruling classes in government and the arts  it is no small detail that our hero  romulus  is not only named for a member of the ruling class who lived his life  in legend  without knowledge of his royal birth  but also that our romulus has turned his back on the comforts of the literati in favour of a mystical existence living in a cave in a park  in the romulus mythology  signs of romulus royal blood is brought by twelve vultures  while in the film  the call to action for our hero comes in the form of not the carrion birds  but of the carrion itself  whether or not romulus of the cavemans valentine will found a nation  or  in the case of novelist george dawes green  upon whose novel his own screenplay is based  a franchise  the fact remains that the cavemans valentine is easily the most misunderstood film of 2001 thus far  it  along with m  night shyamalans unbreakable  is a mature cinematic extrapolation of the graphic novel format which has  since millers seminal  the dark knight returns   redefined the comic medium as one suitable for mature ruminations on psychologically sticky topics  readers of sam keiths brilliant  the maxx  comic series  or of mtvs shortlived animated adaptation of the same  are already familiar with the idea of a homeless man placed in the position of knight errant and king of his own twisted demesne  the failure of both  the maxx  tv show and of the cavemans valentine  not forgetting the initial backlash against unbreakable  suggests that the public may not be ready for americas surprising contributions to dark fantasy  luxuriantly lit  brashly saturated  and comicpanel framed with a virtuoso grace by cinematographer amy vincent  death in venice  ca   while inhabiting robin standefers  practical magic  mesmerizing sets  the cavemans valentine is an unremittingly gorgeous film  kasi lemmons  following up her brilliant 1997 debut  eves bayou  which played on similar themes of manufactured realities and mysticism  fulfills much of her immense promise with a tale of seraphs and lost boys  artists and suffering  the cavemans valentine is an elegant and piquant expression of hope for justice in a tilted landscape  clearly not for every taste  when approached with the correct paradigm  it is one of the most stunning and intensely fascinating films of the year  a redefinition of the hero archetype for a postmodern audience with urinestained wool trench coats in place of blue tights and red capes  the cavemans valentine is a fine and a courageous film  crazy enough to suggest that the delirious yammering of an idiot savant is the best and truest paladin of order in the chaos of eliots rats alley wasteland  
pos	expand the final fifteen minutes of home alone into a featurelength film and youve got babys day outan agreeably amusing childrens comedy about a bumbling band of kid kidnappers who are unwittingly outwitted by an innocent infant  the plot tracks a trio of crooksposedasphotographers  mantegna  pantoliano  haley  who steal ninemonthold bennington august cottwell iv  aka baby bink  from his oldmoney home  but the plan goes awry when baby crawls out an open window and into the streets of downtown chicago  following the path of his favorite story  called  babys day out   baby rides a bus and visits the zoo and winds up at a skyscraper construction site  while baby stays unscathed  the crooks fare worse for the wear  the stooges get hit by boards and dropped from roofs and  of course  suffer multiple crotch injuries   john wayne bobbitt should probably steer clear of this one   like he did in planes  trains  and automobiles  john hughes again demonstrates his mastery of the simple setup and extended execution  here  hes aided and abetted by a director  patrick read johnson  whose choreography could rival a coen brother  best bit  baby crawling across a busy city street  babys day out has only two emotionsawww and ouchand the actors play them accordingly  forget the cartoon concern of lara flynn boyle or cynthia nixon  disposable as mom and nanny  respectively  the ones to watch are the ones who are wincing  joe mantegna is a great head stooge  barking lines like  that little doodoo machine is my retirement money   brian haley has a great scene with a gorilla  while joe pantolianto plays curly to mantegnas moe   he  is funny  needless to say  twins adam and jacob warton are adorable beyond belief  
pos	waiting at the train station near the beginning of fury  joe says  after all  were human   in the context of events to transpire  joes line is prophetic  foreshadowing the internal conflict of the protagonist in the latter half of the film  does being human necessarily imply humane behavior  through the baseness of human character exemplified in the formation of a mob  fritz lang prompts the viewer to consider whether our inclination towards impulsiveness supersedes our civility  expressing his abhorrence towards the rise of nazism in his homeland  lang takes great care in creating a sense of discomfort during the scenes of mob hysteria  in the scene prefacing the lynching  the mob achieves critical mass at the bar  deputy meyers is brought in as an exalted informant  but when he is unable to augment the mobs myth of joe  he is quickly renounced from his position as town gossip  we see in a shot where two bar patrons are arguing that the deputy looks around nervously at the growing monster and then carefully slips out of the bar  what is quietly horrifying is the realization by both the audience and the deputy that the crowd no longer exists within the confines of reason and has succumbed to what the barber referred to as impulse  what once was excitement to the deputy has turned into fear with the realization that he is now powerless  to the audience  the deputys quiet exit concurs with their own sinking feeling of uneasiness as the mobs delirium crescendos  lang educes this discomfort not through movement of the camera  but rather its stillness  the shots composition places the audience equidistant and directly across from the pair of arguing patrons and the deputy effectively becomes a mirror to our own apprehensions  as the intensity of the mob closes around deputy meyers  it does so around the viewer as well  the stationary camera in this shot heightens our fears because when the deputy escapes  we are deserted by our reflection and the viewer becomes the sole proprietor of sensibility amongst a swarm of irrationality  because the camera does not track the deputys movement  we are left with an amplified perception of desertion and vulnerability  as the bar scene progresses  the camera pans 180 degrees to reveal the fury of the mob  this shot is unique because it is a pointofview shot where the audience  not a character in the film is the subject  while a long  or dolly shot may objectively reveal the size of the mob  panning from the mobs belly distorts the audiences spatial reference and exaggerates the claustrophobia of the scene  we feel we are at the epicenter of something infinitely large  we see close shots of peoples faces  contorted by their rage  with the pivot of the pan being in the center of the mob and angry members within a short radius of the pan  lang offers the viewer a sense of what it feels like to be the subject of a lynching  in this shot the audience is at the mercy of the mob  langs camera makes us feel vulnerable and powerless as joe must have felt in the jail  in some greater sense  it must have been what lang felt when he saw his countrymen overcome with unjustifiable hatred towards their own humankind  langs observations of his fellow man succumbing to mob behavior left him with an indelible image of malevolent human behavior  as joe faces his peril  trapped in his burning cell  his dog rainbow rushes to be by his side  lang makes rainbow a martyr to contrast his humanity against the recklessness of his human counterparts  using his camera to create shots that elicit disturbing images of mob mentality  lang depicts mans volatility and impulse towards inconceivable cruelty  reprising joe s line at the train station  we are induced to question why our primeval impulses so easily transcend our humanity  
pos	because the press screening of  planet of the apes  was one day past last issues deadline  i was afforded the opportunity to see the film a second time  listen to audience reactions and read a heap of reviews before writing this piece  the chief complaints of those who disliked the futuristic adventure appear to be that the movie focused on visuals instead of substance  that the story was thin  that mark wahlbergs character was colorless and that the surprise ending sucked  to those people i would like to say  what the hell did you expect  this is a tim burton movie  boys and girls  tim burton movies have great art direction and thin  clunky stories  for the blissfully nasty  disjointed and underrated  mars attacks    jonathan rosenbaum of the chicago reader and i were two of the only critics in america to praise the movie  burton reportedly tossed vintage  mars attacks   trading cards onto the floor and based his story on the ones that landed face up  burtons reimagining of the 1968 story of an astronaut that lands on a planet where apes rule men looks great  the apes  courtesy of makeup magician rick baker  are dazzling and ape city is a wonder to behold  like astronaut leo davidson  wahlberg   the film hits the ground running  whisking viewers through a headspinning series of solid oneliners and engaging vignettes and establishing a sense of thrust that carries us through the more traditional fight scenes that come later  as for wahlberg  consider what burton does with his character  from his start as a filmmaker  burton has shown his fascination with colorful misfits  peewee herman  the joker  ed wood  the ackacking martians  etc   and lack of interest in standard issue heroes  so leo davidson spends most of the movie getting the living shit kicked out of him before the biggest guilt trip in history is dropped on his shoulders  as for lack of color  remember  leo only launches into space to get his monkey back  he doesnt want to lead humanity and he isnt looking for romance from a pretty  but dull human  estella warren  or a dynamic ape  helena bonham carter  terrific as an equalrights activist   as a man who just wants out  wahlberg is focused  subtle and sly  the surprise ending provides the requisite shock  and some more dandy visuals  particularly of the approaching authority figures   but admittedly isnt nearly as satisfying as the one in the original  for the original ending to work  we only had to make one simple connection  for this one  we have to write a whole new screenplay  the 1968  apes  boasted a handful of great scenes  cool looking monkeys  a deliciously hammy performance by charlton heston  who appears uncredited here as an aged chimp on his deathbed  redelivering a classic line  and a killer ending  but viewers had to suffer through numerous dull stretches punctuated by social and political messages delivered with the grace of a wrecking ball  the 2001  planet of the apes  offers a different set of great scenes  much cooler looking monkeys  fine acting from wahlberg  bonham carter  paul giamatti and tim roth  and a not so good ending  it also gives us another chance to experience the skewed vision of tim burton and thats nothing to complain about  
pos	in 1977  something never though possible happened  the film star wars was released  with extraordinary  never seen before techniques of special effects  the film set a new standard for special effects in film  not only did it set a standard for the special effects  it set a standard for film itself  the plot is one of the most creative i heard ever  the legend of star wars starts long ago with the jedi  the jedi were warriors who were wiped out by the dark side  darth vader is the leader of the dark side  ben obiwan kenobi  played by sir alec guinness  was one of those jedi who is still alive today  darth vader was once a jedi  until he turned to the dark side  years after the killing of the jedi  darth vader is still around causing trouble  r2d2 and c3p0 are both what we call  driods   or robots that are of assistance to humans  while an attack on the ship that princess leia  played by carrie fisher  is aboard  she inserts a message to r2d2  who is also on the ship  to obiwan kenobi pleading for help  the princess is captured by vader  but r2d2 and c3p0 get away on an escape pod that eventually lands them on the remote planet of tatooine  the jawas  or small creatures who sell droids  pick r2d2 and c3p0 up to sell  they are bought by luke skywalkers  mark hamill  family  while luke is cleaning the droids  the message from princess leia is found  luke finds this obiwan kenobi  and learns that obiwan was a friend of lukes father  who is now dead  luke also learns his family was a jedi  after lukes family is killed by tropps from the dark side  ben decides to put luke through training to stop the dark side and destroy them once and for all  ben wants to create a new jedi  first  the two must find princess leia and serve her  han solo  played by harrison ford  and his sidekick chewbacca  played by peter mayhew  are consulted about providing a ship to complete the tasks necessary  after meeting up with leia  the film really picks up  luke continues his training as a pilot and to become a jedi  ben kenobi confronts darth vader  and many other interesting events occur  star wars is an amazing epic  the plot is so original and amazing  i cannot believe it  the special effects  especially for its time  are wonderful and realistic  the space scenes in particular are the most fun to watch  the ships flown by all are very unique and creative  the costumes are also out of this world  the scenery is so different from anything i have ever seen before  there are a variety of different very memorable set pieces that will stay with me forever  the entire premise of star wars is amazing  the creatures and droids that we see throughout the film are one of a kind  even the human characters are different  every character is extremely likable and different from characters from other sci fi films  the acting on everyones part is great  especially that of sir alec guinnesss  even though the concept is not realistic at all  it is pulled off very nicely  the acting  setting  effects  costumes  and sound make it work  if any of these were messed up  star wars would have come off as one huge joke  the ending works very well  and left it very open to the sequels that came afterward  in early 1997  a special edition of star wars was released  the film was remastered so it looked better than it did in 1977  a few creatures were added here and there  and even an entire deleted scene with han solo and jabba the hutt  seen in return of the jedi  was added to the film  think thats enough  on may 19  1999  star wars episode i  the phantom menace will be released  followed by two more films that will reveal what went on before a new hope  with this  star wars is bound to become the greatest tale told in our time  
pos	if you want some hearty laughs  then rat race is the movie for you  this unpretentious little comedy  which sneaks into theaters today with very little hype  will have you bouncing in your theater seat  and while the film fits neatly into the lowbrow  slapstick school of comedy  one refreshing aspect is its lack of meanspiritedness  the plot follows a group of people chosen at random by an eccentric las vegas casino owner  john cleese  who must race from vegas to a bus station locker 700 miles away in silver city  n  m  inside the locker is a duffel bag containing 2 million  the first one to open the locker  gets the bag and the money  what the group of participants doesnt know is that cleeses donald sinclair   i can do anything i want  im eccentric    is staging the race as a betting game for a group of high rollers at the hotel  the participants include vera  whoopi goldberg  and merrill  lanai chapman   a newly reunited mother and daughter  disgraced pro football referee owen templeton  cuba gooding jr    italian tourist mr  pollini  rowan atkinson   randy pear  jon lovitz  and his family  the bumbling con men duane and blaine cody  seth green and vince vieluf   and cynical young lawyer nick shaffer  breckin meyer   various amusing encounters and mishaps befall the participants en route to silver city  screenwriter andy breckman adds a nice touch by not having the racers try to sabotage one another  the most sidesplitting situations involve vera and merrills encounter with the squirrel lady  a nice nutsy cameo by kathy bates  owens commandeering a charter bus full of lucille ball lookalikes on their way to a lucy convention  the cody brothers misadventures with a hotair balloon  a flying cow and a monster truck  and the pear familys stopover at a barbie museum  which turns out not to be what they think it is  the pear family situation is a fine example of the way breckmans script builds the laughs  without going into detail  this bit segues from the museum to hitlers touring car  to eva brauns dark lipstick  to lovitz burning his tongue  culminating at a ceremony honoring world war ii veterans  rat races cast is first rate  cleese is wonderfully devilish and madcap  lovitz is  at first  a bit whiny  but his character grows on you  gooding is having a fine romp  and dave thomas almost steals the show as cleeses deadpan assistant  a man  born without a personality   the film is directed by jerry zucker  who knows something about comedy  along with his brother  david  and friend jim abrahams  he was responsible for such hits as airplane  and ruthless people  a throwaway subplot  which is good for some laughs  features cleese and his buddies  betting on a series of outlandish situations  including one dealing with a hooker and peptobismol  this is a fun little feature  the only letdown comes at the finale  which is too touchyfeely and sweet  almost negating what came before it  rat race is a summer sleeper  but it will keep you awake  as will the laughter of those watching around you  
pos	i had a chance to see a sneak preview of city slickers ii on campus last night  i went in with the expectation of a film with the similar flavor which made the original such a success  personal growth and insightful humor about life  i came away somewhat disappointed in this regard  getting some of the latter and not much of the former  the basic plot revolves around billy crystal  who plays mitch robbins  turning forty  hes now become the station manager of the radio station in which he worked in the original  hes given a job at the radio station to his best friend  played by daniel stern  out of sympathy while sterns character works through his divorce  his loser younger brother  john lovitz  comes to mitchs house to bum a money and place to live  all while mitch and his wife try to celebrate his birthday  during the celebration  mitch discovers what appears to be a treasure map in curlys  the cattle drive leader in the original played by jack palance  old hat  after a business trip to las vegas  crystal  stern  and lovitz stay a few extra days to go off in search of the treasure  on the way  they run into curlys twin brother  duke  played by  you know who  jack palance  first of all  the cinematography was beautifully done  especially the outdoor scenes in the desert  the scenes are such that i would like to see some of those sights filmed myself  there is some character development during the film  the actors remain true to their characters and play them well  without overplaying the jokes  the movie is a good basic adventure  with enough plot twists to provide for an ending that is difficult to predict  the movie is paced well  but with a couple slow spots in the middle and towards the end  humorwise  the film has a good number of jokes which maintained my interest throughout the film  there are memorable moments like when stern is bitten by a snake  but there are fewer jokes to laugh at in the sequel  surprise  surprise for a sequel  right    however  the slight bitter aftertaste i have with this film has to do mainly with the films manipulation of the audience  the film tries to pull your heartstrings too much regarding how close the characters are to each other  like when mitch had decided to suck the snake marrow out of his best friends butt  this is done again when the gang meets up with some members of the cattle drive group from the original  there were also some parts which appeared unrealistic  like whether the stampede would start in the way it did or why they didnt worry more about water while tromping around the desert  some strenuous stretches of the imagination are required here  since the objective of the gang is to find gold and get rich  unlike finding themselves in middle age like in the original   i also found it harder to empathize with the characters during their journey  overall  id say that the film is an entertaining and humorous adventure with some storyline deficiencies making it less worthy than the original  it may be worth the full price of admission  but a matinee would be a better bargain  
pos	the  submarine  genre of movies seems to be one of the most intriguing and compelling types of storytelling there is  think about it    these films are completely based in reality  yet only a handful of people have ever been on one  making them fascinating to the general public  they arent like movies that take place on a plane or a train  as anybody can get on one of those  and they arent like movies that happen in outer space either  because no ones done any of that stuff yet  when a new one comes out  you dont hear anyone say  ugh  another submarine movie  like people tend to say  ugh  another boxing movie   look at modern movies that involve submarines  das boot  the abyss  the hunt for red october  crimson tide    all are well regarded as topnotch entertainment  gladly joining that bunch is u571  which stars matthew mcconaughey as the executive officer of a u  s  naval submarine during world war ii  we learn he has been denied a recommendation for his own command by his superior  bill paxton   mcconaugheys crew then receives orders that they will be boarding a disabled german submarine to steal the enigma  a german communications encoding device that has stumped allied intelligence  the mission goes horribly wrong however  and as a result  mcconaughey and only a handful of his crew  as well as a captured german  become trapped aboard the u571 in enemy waters  the first great thing about u571 is the films opening sequence  the german crew of u571 are under attack  which sets the events of the rest of the film into motion  its tense  exciting and fascinating  and i applaud the filmmakers for not copping out and instead keeping the entire sequence in german with english subtitles  most movies with a scene this long would have panicked and had the german crew speaking english right away  once the plot gets moving  u571 gives us action sequence after action sequence  making the audience wonder  ok  now how do they get out of this    the stakes keep raising  much like in executive decision  an excellent actionthriller   and even though the audience knows how the film will end  its a lot of fun getting there  i only have two minor complaints about the entire film  the first comes from the scenes which follow the opening sequence  while their purpose is to introduce us to the characters and to get the story going  which they do   i feel as though it could have been done much quicker  and less conventionally  i mean  did we really have to see the ships crew at a wedding  because of that  you now know exactly whats going to happen to the groom  my other gripe would be during the films finale  theres an explosion which ends the film that is one of the weakest looking cgi effects since the presidents plane crashed into the ocean at the end of air force one  i cannot stress this enough    until a cgi effect can be made to look like a model effect  stick with using models  yes  u571 is historically incorrect and there are surely some specifics in the plot that people who have been onboard a submarine will tell you  that couldnt happen   but the overall point of this film is entertainment  it succeeds fantastically  pg13 
pos	we share the descent into darkness of a talented boy pianist  years later we see his subsequent resurfacing  in the mid 80s a damaged man walks out of a rainstorm and back into the world  the movie charts the causes of his mental breakdown  based on the life story of david helfgott  this australian film is a rich exploration of the pressures drilling in upon a childgenius  compounded by the looming shadow of a domineering father  in the 1950s helfgott emerged as a child prodigy  the film traces his relationship with his father  whose encouragement comes at the cost of demanding david have no life beyond that of the black and white keys  david is offered places in the usa  but his father refuses to let him leave australia  the effect this has upon helfgott is cleverly told via a single reverse tracked shot  david is sobbing on the front doorway of his music teachers house  he is well lit via the external house lights  his teacher isnt home  we pull back and see that the dark front rooms window has its curtains open  there  in a pool of blackness  is a grand piano  davids fall over the dark cliff has begun  instead of being told in a linear mode  shine jumps around in time  ala  pulp fiction   this narrative device works well  we see david as a boy  teenager in london and mentalpatient in various snippets  the film then neatly loops back for its uplifting conclusion  adulthelfgotts return to the light is told in linear fashion  the lead role is played by 3 different actors  with the teenagedavid  taylor  and adultdavid  rush  standing out  whilst rush is known for his tv work in australia  i think this is his first major cinema work  his david  whilst clearly damaged  he keeps quoting his  daddy  in a babbling word torrent  cuddles strangers and grabs women on the breasts  is both touching and funny  taylors teenagedavid is the more sympathy producing role  we are mute witness to his gradual breakdown as the pressures just keep on building  his father wants him to play the very demanding rachmaninovs 3rd  whilst his teacher wants to start him with a simple mozart  technically this is a beautiful film and a lot of thought has gone in to the production  i particularly like the use of slow motion and sound effects  one scene has adulthelfgott happily babbling in a car in the rain  the sound of the windshield wipers fades up over his voice  with a clever subtlety  the wiper sound appears to morph into a rhythmic thumping  but of the same beat  the image dissolves and we realise the thumping is the slow motion applause of a crowd  but its us being clapped  we are youngdavid walking up to the stage for our first public show  the music  as you would expect from a film of this subject matter  is critical  and it works very well  the miming of the actors piano playing is faultless  apparently rush didnt mime  he really did play  helfgotts life is certainly not without its sympathetic people  indeed his return to the normal world is accelerated by his chance meetings with two very special women  his ultimately uplifting story is a magic piece of theatre craft  it shows that with the help of god we can all find our way back home  
pos	today  war became a reality to me after seeing a screening of saving priivate ryan  steve spielberg goes beyond reality with his latest production  the audience is tossed about the theatre witnessing the horror of war  please keep the kids home as the r rating is for reality  tom hanks is stunning as capt john miller  set out in france during ww ii to rescue and return home a soldier  private ryan  matt damon  who lost three brothers in the war  spielberg at time takes us inside the heads of these individuals as they face death during the horrific battle scenes  private ryan is not for everyone  but i felt the time was right for a movie like this to be made  the movie reminds us of the sacrifices made by our ww ii fighting men and women  we must not ever forget them as many gave the ultimate sacrifice  their lives so that we may live in freedom today  for this i thank them and for steve spielberg for making a movie that i will never forget  the academy will not forget tom hanks come april 1999  as another well deserved oscar with be in toms posession  
pos	well  ill admit when i first heard about this film  which was before dantes peak  i could just smell what twister had started  so now it seems that were in a full fledged return to the 70s disaster film era  with twister  dantes peak  volcano and soon flood and james camerons extremly expensive titanic ill say first off i enjoyed volcano much more than i did dantes peak  part of that is just being biased as i usually enjoy anything that tommy lee jones appears in  ive been reading a lot about the movie being cheezy or hokey and really didnt see or think that once during the entire film  i get bored easily and this film didnt bore me for a minute  another thing  and boy am i bitching today   that bothers me is when critics and such go on about  well thats not really possible   you know what  i couldnt give a bloody damn if its possible or not  really i couldnt  its a freaking movie and i dont want reality thrown in my face  i want to be able to see the impossible  the all might  what if  to many reviewers have seen one to many movies  the special effects are the second star to this feature  they are so amazing that i found it hard sometimes to believe they were indeed fx and la was was not burning to the ground  they did an incredible job and come oscar time  if they remember  some notice better be thrown there way  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  during the three years since the release of the groundbreaking success pulp fiction  the cinematic output from its creator  quentin tarantino  has been surprisingly low  oh  hes been busy  doing the talk show circuit  taking small roles in various films  overseeing the production of his screenplay from dusk till dawn  making cameo appearances on television shows  providing a vignette for the illfated anthology four rooms  everything  it seems  except direct another featurelength film  its been the long intermission between projects as well as the dizzying peak which pulp fiction reached which has made mr  tarantinos new feature film  jackie brown  one of the most anticipated films of the year  and his third feature film cements his reputation as the single most important new american filmmaker to emerge from the 1990s  things arent going well for jackie brown  pam grier   shes 44 years old  stuck at a deadend job   16  000 a year  plus retirement benefits that arent worth a damn   as a flight attendant for the worst airline in north america  and shes just been caught at the airport by atf agent ray nicolette  portrayed with terrific childlike enthusiasm by michael keaton  and police officer mark dargus  michael bowen  smuggling 50 000 from mexico for gunrunner ordell robbie  samuel l  jackson   who has her bailed out by unassuming bail bondsman max cherry  robert forster   the loquacious ordell  based out of a hermosa beach house where his horny  bonghitting surfer girl melanie  bridget fonda  and agreeable crony louis gara  robert de niro  hang out  operates under the policy that the best rat is a dead rat  and hes soon out to silence jackie brown  meanwhile  the authorities target is ordell  and they want jackie to help them by arranging a sting to the tune of a halfmillion dollars  only through a series of clever twists  turns  and doublecrosses will jackie be able to gain the upper hand on both of her nemeses  although jackie brown marks mr  tarantinos first produced screenplay adaptation  based on the elmore leonard novel  rum punch    theres no mistaking his distinctive fingerprints all over this film  while hes adhered closely to the source material in a narrative sense  the setting has been relocated to los angeles and the lead characters now black  in terms of ambiance  the film harkens back to the 1970s  from the walltowall funk and soul music drowning the soundtrack to the nondescript look of the sets  even the opening title credit sequence has the echo of vintage 1970s productions  the opening sequence featuring ms  grier wordlessly striding through the lax  funky music blaring away on the speakers  is emblematic of films of that era  the timeframe for the film is in fact 1995  but the atmosphere of jackie brown is decidedly retro  of course  nothing in the film screams 1970s more than the casting of pam grier and robert forster as the two leads  and although the caper intrigue is fun to watch as the plot twists  backstabbing  and deceptions deliciously unfold  the strength of jackie brown is the quiet  understated relationship developed between jackie and max  when they kiss  its perhaps the most tender scene of the year  tenderness  in a quentin tarantino film  sure  thereve been moments of sweetness in his prior films  the affectionate exchanges between the bruce willis and maria de madeiros characters in pulp fiction and the unflagging dedication shared by the characters of tim roth and amanda plummer  or even in reservoir dogs  where a deep  unspoken bond develops between the harvey keitel and tim roth characters  but for the most part  mr  tarantinos films are typified by manic energy  unexpected outbursts of violence  and clever  often wordy  banter  these staples of his work are all present in jackie brown  but whats new here is a different facet of his storytelling  a willingness to imbue the film with a poignant emotional undercurrent  and a patience to draw out several scenes with great deliberation  this effective demonstration of range prohibits the pigeonholing of mr  tarantino as simply a helmer of slick  hip crime dramas with fasttalking lowlifes  and heralds him as a bonafide multifaceted talent  hes the real deal  this new aspect of mr  tarantinos storytelling is probably best embodied in a single character  that of the worldweary  sensitive  and exceedinglyprofessional max cherry  whose unspoken attraction to jackie is touching  mr  forsters nuanced  understated performance is the best in the film  he creates an amiable character of such poignancy that when he gazes at jackie  we smile along with him  much press has been given about the casting of blaxploitationera icon pam grier in the lead  with the wags buzzing that mr  tarantino may do for her what his pulp fiction did to bolster john travoltas thensagging career  as it turns out  ms  grier is solid in the films title role  although nothing here forces her to test her range  i do have to take exception to the claim that this film marks her career resurrection  though  shes been working steadily over the years  often in directtovideo action flicks  but also in such recent theatrical releases as tim burtons mars attacks  and larry cohens original gangstas  where she first teamed up with mr  forster   of course  its true that her role here was a godsend  a meaty a part as this is rarity for  any  actress  let alone one of her age and current status in the industry  while jackie brown may disappoint those looking for another pulp fiction clone  it marks tremendous growth of mr  tarantino as a director whose horizons are rapidly expanding  and whose characterizations have never been better  and while the films narrative doesnt really warrant a running time of 155 minutes  its filled with such sumptuous riches  ranging from the brashness of the vivid soundtrack to entertaining  inconsequential conversations between the characters  that there wasnt an unengaging moment  with an impressive trio of feature films under his belt  itll be interesting to see what he tries next  
pos	 last night  could have an  aka  tagged on the end of it that says   its the end of the world  and we feel fine    last night  is about just that  the last night of planet earths existence  the world is going to end at precisely midnight  january 1st  2000  how scientists were so accurately able to predict when this catastrophic event would occur is never explained  nor is the event itself  throughout the entire movie  no explanation is given as to why this is happening  in doing this  mckellar  who also wrote and directed the film  seems to be trying to transcend the genre  hes attempted to make a film about people  and how each of them deals with their last night of life  the film contains no science fiction elements  which allows the viewer to concentrate on the feelings and actions of the characters  mckellar is largely successful in his attempt to rise above his material  the film is set in toronto  and follows several people in their various escapades on the last night of existence  theres mckellar  who plays a man who just wants to be alone when the moment occurs  but keeps getting interrupted by a woman  sandra oh  in search of her husband  her husband  played by david cronenberg  is spending the day working at the gas company  informing people that they will attempt to keep providing gas right up until the end  finally  theres mckellars friend  played by callum keith rennie  a man who has spent his final months trying out every sexual perversion you can think of  mckellar has crafted a gang of the some of the most interesting characters ive seen in a film in months  these people all felt real to me  especially the character played by sandra oh  we can see her desperation  her utter need to be with her husband in the final hours  rennie is good  too  as the man who wants to literally try everything before he dies  he exudes such charm and likeablity  its not surprising that were rooting for him to get what he wants  but for me  the biggest surprise in the movie is mckellar  i knew that he was a talented director  but i had no idea he could act as well  his insistence to be alone  much to the dismay of his parents  is something that most people would find difficult to understand  but as played by mckellar  we can understand his reasons  he doesnt buy into the whole notion that just because everyones going to die  he should immediately find some companionship  he realizes the relationship would be forced  and they would only be together for the sake of being together  mckellar gives a brilliant performance  and i hope he alternates between directing and acting  my only quibble with the film is that we never find out why the world is ending  i really wanted to know  and my need to know was hanging over the film at all times  i appreciate the fact that mckellar didnt want the material to rule the film  and that he wanted the movie to be more of a study in human behavious  however  in not telling the audience what the cause of earths destruction is  hes left a big question that is in their minds throughout the film  another problem is we never see anybody panicking  i would imagine if the world was ending  and there was nothing to be done about it  a large segment of the population would be going out of their minds  instead  we are treated to shots of a giant crowd partying like its new years eve  i just didnt buy the fact that everyone had completely accepted their fate  no one had the urge to  rage against the dying of the light   despite these small problems   last night  is one of the best movies of the year  as opposed to the moronic  armageddon    last night  treats the subject at hand with maturity and believabilty  and bruce willis never shows up to save the day  
pos	 a bugs life  may not be  toy story   but its more close than  antz  was  i really liked  antz   basically because  yes  it is clever and witty and intelligent  and it has the temerity to take a chance and put woody allen in the lead  perhaps the years most inspired casting   but there was  in fact  something missing from it  and im the first to admit that  maybe its that it never totally lets go and takes off into real innocent fun  its too obsessed with its orwellian message to become totally engaging  and if it werent for woody allen  it would have been just a really clever goodnotgreat flick   a bugs life  has a similar premise  and it also has disney to insure that its grated and not totally over kids heads like  antz  was  not a bad thing  believe me   but what it also has is a tone thats completely innocent even when its also remaining perpetually clever   antz  is still the more witty film  and i love it for it  and  a bugs life  is more for general consumption  but its also more entertaining  it broadens its horizons  and when it really moves from the ant colony  it really shows us a whole new world weve never seen before  and its take on the evolution of bugs is a lot better than the one in  antz   its also light and clever  the visuals are  instead of earth tones  bright worldly colors  and still gives the amazing visual technology of  antz  at least a worthy contender  the characters are also nicely realized  though watereddown for broad consumption  they still carry more wit than the contemporary disney animated films  the lead character  flik  voiced by dave foley   is nothing more than a slightlyless neurotic z from  antz   but foley makes him nearly as engaging as allen made z  instead of gene hackman playing the villain  we get the much more menacing kevin spacey as the lead grasshopper  the nicelytitled hopper  and for the romantic lead  we dont get spacey sharon stone  but intelligent and hardtoget julialouis dreyfuss  who doesnt even come around until the very final frames  not that the plots really any better than the one in  antz   its basically yet another redux of  the seven samurai   with an ant colony under the control of giant grasshoppers forcing them to produce a product for them or else  when flik  a bone fide inventor  creates a timeconserving apparatus that accidentally destroys the seasons donation  he puts them all in risk  and is sent away so that he wont screw anything up with the pretense that he is searching for help to fight the grasshoppers  he runs into a group of  warrirors  who are  unbeknownst to him  a group of carnival bugs  and they agree to help under similar false pretenses  these bugs are an equally wonderful assortment to anything in  toy story   foppish walking stick slim  david hydepierce   german caterpillar heimlich  joe ranft   quicktempered and insecure male ladybug francis  denis leary   pretentious praying mantis manny  jonathan harris   his assistant butterfly hypsy  madeliene kahn   spider rosie  bonnie hunt   and two fleas  tuck and roll  michael mcshane   who speak in undiscernable jibberish  the writers lightly touch on each bugs place in bug society and the malleability thereof while making a wisecracks at everything they can  and blowing the audience away with wild visual treats  grasshoppers jumping in unison seems like a menacing earthquake  a small bird becomes an ominous mortal threat  whose usual mildmannered squeal is a scream of death  the bug city is a modernday metropolis  complete with fireflies temping as traffic lights and a fly sitting on the curb  holding out a cup  with a sign lying next to him that says  kid tore off wings   and a rainstorm is like a giant flood  with each drop acting like a small bomb dropped at millions of miles per hour  around this  the pixar animators stage several large set pieces  like a resuce mission halfway through that is as wild and entertaining as anything this year  and a wonderfully exciting action piece at the end  a chase scene at night through the labyrinthine branches of a small thicket  meanwhile  each character gets the spotlight to be completely idisyncratic and interesting  something  antz  couldnt do  and by the end  over the end credits   a bugs life  pulls its final punch  out clevering  antz  with a series of incessantly hilarious fauxbloopers that come just at the right time  when those who leave immeadiately after the final frame of a film have left  and you can brag that you were one of the elite who stayed and got the full moneys worth of entertainment  still  its no  toy story   that film  maybe above any animated film ive ever seen  encompassed almost true perfection in story  character  and wit  it proved that it didnt need to brag about its cutting edge technology to really soar  its the least visually striking of the three computer animated films thus far  but is still the most satisfying   and created a perfect world of idiosyncratic delights and innocent fun  yet  a bugs life   as well as  antz   are still amazing films  and prove without doubt  that if youre gonna make a computer animated film  send it to the guys who created these three flicks  evne if theyre not working under the same roof  
pos	when i saw the trailer for  the sixth sense   i didnt expect much from it  my snap judgment was that it was a watereddown version of  the shining  or possibly a lateentry in the glut of angelrelated moviestv shows of a couple years ago  but all the buzz motivated me to give it a shot  it turned out to be one of the most satisfying movie experiences of the year  bruce willis plays child psychologist malcolm crowe  at the beginning of the movie  he is admiring an award the city has given him for his work  but he is soon confronted by vincent  a patient malcolm failed years earlier  donnie wahlbergformer new kidin an impressive cameo   a year passes  and malcolm is treating another child with the same symptoms vincent displayed  cole sear  haley joel osment  is a withdrawn kid who is called  freak  by the other boys in the neighborhood  weird things seem to happen around colehis mother  olivia williams  leaves the kitchen for a moment and returns to find every cabinet and drawer open even though cole hasnt movedand cole seems to know things that a kid his age shouldntfor example  that there was once a gallows in his school  he steals religious icons from churches to build a chapel in a pup tent in his bedroom  the trailer gave away the movies first major plot twist  if it hadnt  the first hour of the movie would be more engrossing because we wouldnt know whats wrong with cole  if youre lucky enough to have not seen the trailer  stop reading this review right now and go see  the sixth sense   anyway  since the trailer gave it away  i figure its fair game to discuss here  once malcolm gains coles trust  cole reveals his secret  he sees ghosts everywhere  dead people wander around not knowing that theyre dead  invisible to everyone except cole  malcolm gradually begins to realize that cole is telling the truth  the box office success of  the sixth sense  has generated a lot of press about how horror movies rule the box office this year and lots of theories about why thats so  i hate to burst anybodys bubble  but  the sixth sense  isnt really a horror film  at its core   the sixth sense  is a touching story of how a troubled kid and an emotionallyscarred adult help each other to move past their problems  some scenes with the ghosts are wonderfully creepy  though  one that really got to me  the ghost of a boy says to cole   ill show you where my dad keeps his gun   when the ghost turns  we see the bullet wound in the back of his head  osment gives the best performance ive ever seen from a child actor  its hard enough to find a grownup in hollywood who can give a subtle  realistic portrayal  although willis gets top billing  cole is really the protagonist of the story  and osment truly brings the complex kid to life  if only willis work were as impressive  accustomed to delivering catchphrases rather than dialogue  willis is stiff and awkward as malcolm  his most challenging role to date   this is a bad omen for his next movie   the story of us   which chronicles the ups and downs of a marriage   writerdirector m  night shyamalan has a light  poetic touch that goes to the heart of the viewer without seeming sappy or trite  hes also a skillful storyteller  as the movies ending demonstrates  only when the final secret is revealed do you realize that shyamalan has been hinting at it throughout the movie  look for a cameo by the director as a doctor who treats cole  bottom line  osment should get an oscar nomination  and you should go see this movie  
pos	near the end of frank capras holiday classic  its a wonderful life  george bailey  jimmy stewart  is feeling down  he has devoted his life to others  and never fulfilled his dream of leaving his small supburb town  bedford falls  standing upon a bridge above stormy waters  he looks down  contemplating suicide  he has potential he hasnt fulfilled  yet  he has done so much for others  as a young chap  his ambition was to leave his hometown of bedford falls  but times and ambitions change  things happen  and hes stuck  his guardian angel is there  and shows him that    its a wonderful life  in a whirlwind tour of the town  george sees what life would be like without him  he learns the moral lesson  that to live is a gift  his earthly problems are solved  the climatic scene is a marvel  frank capras film is a centenial classic  watched and reexperienced by every generation  wonderful life is one of the few pictures of times gone by that seems as fresh  maybe fresher  then it did when it was first released  many films of the thirties through seventies have aged poorly  but this one is a near flawless example of how well a perfect script and timing can mesh with firstrate acting  wit and suspense  glorious music  and terrific set peices  the only even slightly dated scenes are those at the begining in which god has a long chat with clarence  georges guardian angel  they arent all that bad  but they remain corny and a little out of place  nevertheless  this is one film that deserves its place in time  cinema history  and our hearts  it can be equally appreciated by anyone of any age  here is one genuine masterpeice  a classic that reaches heights and ambitions near perfection  this crackling good mixture results in a film which is at once funny  exciting  moving and uplifting  the film itself is almost a reversal of the life of george bailey  there isnt too much to it  but capra and the gang  various screenwriters  composers  actors  plumet the material to its fullest potential  the result is a film  though not at first intended to be pigeonholed as a holiday film  that will always be remembered  celebrated  and loved  
pos	jerry springer has got nothing on  wild things   john mcnaughtons new thriller tackles more tawdry themes in less than two hours than springers notoriously sleazy talk show broadcasts in two weeks  bisexuality  threesomes  poolside catfights  slutty rich bimbos  even redneck gatorwrestling  theyre all part of the movies raucous  complex storyline  but even trash tv topicality cant drag  wild things  down  this crazy campfest plays like something youd find latenight on the usa network  only infinitely more palatable and with a solid ensemble cast  despite a smattering of needless scenes  most of them sexual in nature   theres wicked fun to be had here   wild things  would be a guilty pleasure  only theres no guilty feeling involved in having a good time with it  high school guidance counselor sam lombardo  matt dillon  is wellliked in the town of blue bay  especially by pretty  popular kelly van ryan  denise richards   whose family name is among the florida yachting enclaves most financially prominent  hoping to take her crush to a physical level  kelly seductively slinks into lombardos house after washing his jeep for a fundraiser  but  the very next day  tearfully admits to her trollop mother  theresa russell  that she was raped  before long  blue bay detectives ray duquette  kevin bacon  and gloria perez  daphne rubinvega  are listening to similar allegations from kellys rebel classmate suzie toller  neve campbell   lombardo  who maintains his innocence  hires neck bracesporting  opportunistic lawyer ken bowden  bill murray  to defend him in court  the previews give away the following revelations  so if you havent seen any of the movies spots on the television or in the theater  you might want to skip to the next paragraph  while crossexamining suzie on the witness stand  bowden gets her to break down and admit that the alleged rapes never took place  that kelly had concocted this entire scheme because she was angry that lombardo was sleeping with her mother and not with her  to pay lombardo for the damages  kellys mother breaks her daughters trust fund and gives him 8  5 million  but lombardo  kelly and suzie are actually all working together  and plan to take the money and run as fast as they can  duquette and perez  however  begin to suspect that theres more afoot to the case than just false accusations  if theres a major drawback to  wild things   its that its oversexed to a fault  the muchtalkedabout hotel room menageatrois between dillon  campbell and richards is a turnoff  its also cut short  sorry  guys   and should have been cut shorter  the movie grinds to a halt for pure titillation once too often  what we dont see is far more effective than what we do  another example of this is kevin bacon needlessly going the full monty in a shower scene  er  no thanks  also  bacons duquette feels simultaneously underdeveloped and overwritten  daphne rubinvega  from broadways  rent   tries to compensate for a superfluous character  theresa russell is just plain wooden  and when  in the end  all is out in the open  ask yourself if certain scenes involving these three were really necessary  but what keeps the movie from being throwaway junk is an engaging chain of surprises  some predictable  some not  that never seems to end   wild things  has more twists than a crate full of corkscrews  and most are so gleefully  overthetop nasty that you cant help but be charmed by their absurd showmanship  a great deal of amusement also comes from watching bill murray in a supporting part that appears to have been written for his sly comedic talent  murrays a stitch  especially when pulling up beside the van ryan limo after winning lombardos case and flipping them off  and dont leave when the closing credits hit the screen  or youll miss the films best part  four bonus flashbacks that smooth over plot holes while offering a few more tiny turns  plus a final scene that caps everything off with a great stunner of a bombshell  speaking of bombshells  denise richards  who plays almost every scene in a blue bikini top  does the teen tease thing with a malicious allure that she was never allowed to flaunt in  starship troopers   matt dillon flexes his sleepyvoiced sex appeal  and pulls off personality changes with chameleonic precision  neve campbell  lovely as ever except when sporting a blond wig  gives suzie a vengeful vulnerability that makes her the most interesting member of the conspiring trio  reedited and toned down a bit  the dynamics between these three actors could have carried the film to greater lengths  but what were given works well enough   wild things  is highly entertaining and  indeed  very wild  
pos	the happy bastards 30second review big daddy happy gilmore as a father  of course  thats the latest scenario presented by adam sandler in the new movie big daddy  a movie thats passable but isnt really considered some of sandlers best work  he doesnt actually play happy gilmore in the movie  but a variation of him  hes sonny coufax  a man whos living off a settlement he got for a cab running over his foot and his onedayaweek gig as a tollbooth man  tollbooth willie    his girlfriend  kristy swanson  is fed up with his lifestyle and demands a change before she leaves him  enter a 5year old kid  whos mysteriously dropped at his doorstep and intended for his preppy roommate  jon stewart   whos off in china on a business trip  from there  coufax basically acts as the kids father  teaching him different things like peeing on the side of a building and tripping up skateboarders with sticks  he even manages to use the kid in a sort of con game to get the attention of a beautiful law office worker  joey lauren adams   but  somehow  he also garners the attention of social services  who arent particularly pleased with coufaxs actions  as he pretends to be his roommate to keep the kid  the reason i say its not really sandlers best work is because it gets really sappy towards the end of a movie  showing some odd feelings that somehow didnt really belong in a sandler vehicle  i mean  it fits the movies tone and everything  and sandler handles it well  but its just oddly placed  thats all  fortunately  it doesnt destroy the goofy glee path its been following and it still makes you feel good  sandler does a good job here  as he does in most of his movies  rob schneider  however  is irritating as his friend  an immigrant delivery boy who cant read  stewart  in his minor time on screen  is great  and adams remains a joy to watch  look for steve buscemi as well as a homeless bum  hes a hoot  directed by dennis dugan  director of happy gilmore   the movie remains a good couple of hours to pass the time with  again  there are faults  but  hey  everyone needs to get emotional sometimes  
pos	 six days  seven nights  is a summer movie that gets the summer movie experience deliciously right  a commendable achievement considering the season thus far has been littered with some pretty uneven fare  heres a genuinely fun fluff piece that knows its fluff  recognizes its fluff and is admittedly proud to be fluff  of course  the casting of harrison ford in the broadly comedic lead role plays a sizeable part in the movies success  ford is such a concentrated dramatic actor that its easy to forget what a funny guy he can be  as his female counterpart  anne heche also deserves a big pat on the back for her sweet  goofily charismatic performance  the age difference  fords 56  heches 29  matters not  these two click in a charged way thats hard to come by  the story is a nobrainer  ford stars as gruff but loveable island aviator quinn harris  while heche is careerminded but loveable new york magazine editor robin monroe  robin  on a tropical vacation with fianc  frank  david schwimmer   gets assigned to supervise an emergency photo shoot in nearby tahiti  so she reluctantly hires quinn to fly her there  the plane crashes during a terrible storm  and they immediately find themselves stuck in a deserted paradise with few ideas on getting back to civilization  a series of unpleasant  often hilarious catastrophes leaves little choice but for both members of this unlikely odd couple to fall for each other  meanwhile  back at the resort  frank is tempted himself by quinns shapely female tagalong  jacqueline obradors   that subplot obviously exists to get us rooting for the quinnrobin pairing  and while it makes for a few good laughs early on  it eventually becomes a contrived distraction from the far more engrossing misadventures of quinn and robin  and since the film spends most of its time with the castaways  this flaw is only a minor inconvenience  director ivan reitman keeps the pace brisk  at a slim 101 minutes   six days  seven nights  never wears out its welcome  where a lesser film could have felt like it was as long as its title  michael brownings clever screenplay allows for plenty of notable oneliners  my favorite  taken in context  is  you mean arrrgh pirates     and though it essentially boils down to one mishap after another  theyre all quite engaging  even the movies more  serious  moments are played with a wink  heche has been under undeserved fire over whether or not her private life with ellen degeneres would affect the  believability  of  six days  seven nights   heterosexual pairing   so shes a lesbian  so what  deal with it   of course it doesnt  and here  her naysayers are proved wrong in a big way  in fact  her chemistry with ford is what really makes the film click  these opposites attract with the utmost  endearing electricity  at one point  when the two are discussing the likelihood of romantic interest  heche asks ford how old he is  after several wrong guesses   fortyfive  fifty     he whispers his age to her   you still look good   heche stammers   i still am good   ford replies  shes good too  and together  they make  six days  seven nights  one memorable ride  
pos	the release of dolores claiborne into wide release this weekend adds another entry into the long list of film adaptations of stephen kings work  this slowmoving character study provides some outstanding acting performances by the principals  but suffers from a tepid conclusion  inconsistent direction  and may not have wide commercial appeal  when the maid  dolores claiborne  is found brandishing a rolling pin standing over the bloody and dead body of her employer  it seems like an openandshut murder case  upon hearing of the death via a mysterious fax  dolores estranged and bitter daughter  esquire magazine writer selena st  george  returns from new york back to her tiny island village childhood home  as the two clash horns  the story behind the mysterious death of dolores abusive husband two decades ago  ruled an accident despite the protests of detective john mackey  is revealed  did dolores kill her husband  and did she kill her employer  dolores claiborne is certainly more of a character study than a suspense thriller  consequently  it is fortunate that their cast includes some of hollywoods finest character actors  such as bates  leigh and strathairn  kathy bates plays the films title character  and gives a sensational lead performance  dolores claiborne is essentially a showcase for the talent of bates  as her character has a huge amount of screen time  she dominates the screen  producing a character that is compelling and arresting  as we watch the character go through two decades of history via flashbacks  kathy bates performance is awardcalibre stuff  the rest of the cast is also very good  jennifer jason leigh plays the perpetually sour  bitter helena st  george well  and christopher plummer seems to be enjoying himself as dolores everpresent nemesis  the determined detective john mackey  david strathairn is particularly interesting and suitably smarmy and despicable as dolores husband  joe st  george  judy parfitt is fine as dolores tyrannic socialite employer  vera donovanit would have been interesting to see  say  meg foster in this role  child actor ellen muth is also worth noting as the young selena during the flashback sequences  she is very impressive  the direction of dolores claiborne by taylor hackford wildly varies throughout the film  ranging from some parts which are quite clever in their own right  to parts which are embarrassingly hokey  the segues between flashbacks and the present are very hitandmiss in terms of effectiveness  the pacing of the film tends to be numbingly slow  which tends to undermine any suspense which might be built up  however  the cinematography by gabriel beristain is wonderfuli particularly like the chilling iceblue hue permeating the presentday scenes  contrasting well with the many nova scotia ocean shotsand danny elfman provides a surprisingly understated score for the film  it would seem that the commercial potential of dolores claiborne is limited  none of the performers in the film could be classified as a big draw  and its pacing may be a turnoff to those expecting a gripping suspense film filled with twists and turns and car crashes and axewielding psychopaths  although being essentially the only film in its genre in release now  it may also be hurt by the negative perception of king works  even with the recent critical success of the shawshank redemption and the stand  dolores claiborne suffers from a very unsatisfying conclusion  and moves very slowly  however  the performances are uniformly excellent  particularly kathy bates  and the film has its moments  on my fourstar scale  i give dolores claiborne three stars  
pos	seen september 13  1998 at 4 p  m at rotterdam square mall cinema 6  theater 2  with chris wessell for free using my sonyloews critics pass  theater rating    12  good seats  average sound  picture unstable  rounders  is exactly the kind of movie parents dont want their kids to see  its not that its a drunken orgy of sex and violence  but because its a film that flatout says you can make a career out of gambling  and to take make things  worse  it proves this through its original  fascinating story  there have been countless crime films both past and present that evoke the  noir  mood  that is  the dark  shady atmosphere where the vices of the world become more fascinating on screen than they would in real life  this film starts off in the tradiational noir style  introducing us to the underworld of modern gambling where the stakes are high and so is the price for losing  matt damon stars as mike mcdermott  a 20something law student in presentday new york city who tells us how the game of poker is really played  damon narrates throughout the film  but the entire opening scene is voicedover so perfectly to completely and totally define the setting  mikes about to go up against teddy kgb  malkovich   a russian gangster who looks like a serial killer  but then again  he practically is one and the film does everything to convey that sense  the look in his eyes  his slow movements  his intricate mannerisms  all combined with the classic noir cinematography of isolated brightness within the darkness of the underworld  literally   damon in the flesh might seem a little out of place with his expensive clothes and perfectlygroomed features  but his narration is what brings it all together  he never sounds like hes reading from a script  nor that hes trying to embellish anything  it just comes natural to him  the screenwriters use the right words and phrases to describe the mood  from the smell of the air  to the logic involved in reading the other guys faces and cards  and all without sounding remotely trite  immediately we get the sense that poker isnt for gamblers  but for near geniuses with nerves of steel  the game is a quiet war  with strategies just as complex and the same sense of honor among the soldiers  the gangsters mike plays against are the same ones that might kill someone for scratching their car  but when it comes to the game of poker  all respect is due to the winner because he is truly the better man  the film does an excellent job in establishing its atmosphere during the first act  it concentrates so much in this aspect that the background and the progression of the story stumble a bit  we learn only a little about mike  both past and present  presently we know he has a girlfriend named jo  gretchen mol  who he constantly argues with over his gambling  they go through a few breakupmakeup cycles until mikes childhood pal and fellow rounder  worm   norton  is released from prison  its not at all surprising worm owes thousand of dollars to the mob  but what is surprising is how the film is able to take such a predictable element and execute it the way it does  technically  the plot isnt unlike many childrens sitcoms in which the  good  kids  bad  friend gets the good kid in trouble and yet the good kid remains friends with the bad kid  what this film does is use a different medium to tell that story  mike and worm have been in over their heads their entire lives  but both share a passion for outthinking the other player who is trying to do the same to them  where as worm prefers to go the sleazy route of cheating  hence his jail time   mike always takes the cards hes dealt and works with them  sometimes they pay off  i  e  his ability to pay his way through law school on his gambling money   but other times they dont  i  e  the fact he takes himself out of the game and works a steady job after dropping 30  000 on a single hand   once things start happening the film is able to expand and develop its plot into an intricate web of detail and mood  mike and worm bob and weave through all kinds of games at all kinds of places  from socialites mansions  to taking the tourists at atlantic city  to outwitting the gangsters that control it all  everything they come into contact with is a big poker game in that everythings a battle against the cards destiny deals  one scene demonstrates this perfectly in which mike is told by a judge  martin landou  in a perfectly cast and performed role  that destiny is everything and yet nothing at the same time  matts good at gambling but hes also got potential to be a great lawyer  he could go professional as either  but with one he could lose everything or win big  but with the other theres stability but not much risk involved  can someone whos gambled his entire life really cash in his chips and leave  if the film had been just a subtle lesson in pokerplaying  then the ending is our test  everything is told from mikes perspective  but were finally able to recognize some things on our own  this makes the final  againstall odds showdown seem like just that  it works just like the game it revolves around  showing us some of the cards  but still evokes the element of the unknown  and the consequences thereof  what separates  rounders  from most other films about games is the fact the challenge and the skills are more important than winning in the end  
pos	there was a lot riding on this movie  everyone even moderately interested in the  scream  series was dying to know how it would end  what would be the  final act   this is the end of an era for them  a movie which has kept them up nights searching for clues on the internet  talking and tossing around rumors with their equally enthused buddies  and  for kids under 17  those elaborate plots consisting of buying a ticket to one movie and hopping into  scream  while narrowly escaping those menacing ushers who are only a year or two older than themselves  no need to worry   scream 3  is endlessly inventive and entertaining  a fine epilogue to the series that made kevin williamson a household name  reinvented the horror genre  and continued in the selfreferential  postmodern tradition of quentin and co  so  how does the story go  as opposed to what some fanatical internet sites would have you believe  sidney prescott  neve campbell   now allgrownup and constantly dealing with her pass in the constantly tormented sector of her psyche  is not living in hollywood fulfilling her dream to become an actress  but rather in upstate california  living  understandably  alone in the confines of fences and vast security systems  she works at home as a crisis center affiliate over the phone  but that    s not where the movie starts off  instead  in a tactic that reminded me of the somewhat similar  and conceptually horrifying  sequence in  eye for an eye   1995   cotton weary  liev schreiber   now a big star  drives home to his girlfriend in traffic when the killer calls  demands the location of sidney    s home  and  when he doesn    t get it  threatens the life of cotton    s girlfriend christine  and cotton can    t do anything to stop him  the rest of the sequence is particularly clever  setting up a constant throughout the picture  the killer has a hightech electronic voicechanger that tops that of the first two  not only does he sound unmistakably like talented voiceover artist roger jackson  ha  ha   he can now easily duplicate the voices of the lead characters  including sidney  and the returned gale weathers  courtney cox arquette  and dewey riley  david arquette   at the same time  stab 3  the third filmwithinafilm based around the characters and events of woodsboro and windsor college  has taken a less authentic approach this time around in return to woodsboro  whereas the account of the first two films was true  the franchise within  scream  has now become totally fictional  nevertheless  we learn  cotton made an appearance in the movie which is now in production  as himself to be killed off in the first scene  so  it seems that the real killer is offing our heroes in the order in which they bite it in the movie   either the actor portraying them  or the real thing  sometimes both  clever  indeed  but  who goes next  no one knows  three different scripts were penned  we    re told  to keep the true finale off the internet  a nod to the  scream  2 fiasco a few years back  and no one knows for sure which one the killer read  still  all the while sidney stays concealed in her home  only visiting dad for the first halfhour of the film  while also having horrifying visions of her mother  which takes us back a bit to sidney    s fear of becoming what her mother was   or  at least  what her mother was secretly  when sidney finally ventures out to hollywood as the murders become more prevalent  she    s chased onto the set of stab 3  wandering through  woodsboro   written and directed as an odd  surreal  nightmare indeed  this is one of  scream 3     s finest moments  okay  over the years  i    ll admit that i    ve become quite the  scream  fan  no  i don    t have the ghostface costume or the director    s cut laserdisc  but i often find myself compelled to pop in the dvd of either member of the preceding duo  and can get quite caught up in the dramatic element of these films  yes  i said  dramatic element    sometimes debating with family and friends the possibilities and endless theories that have become quintessentially affiliated with  scream   throughout the film  though  i noticed a much more subtle approach than the other two films  granted that there    s stabbinaplenty going on throughout  but there    s considerably less blood  less gore  honestly  i like this approach  it    s more classical  more rebellious  constantly demonstrating the capable direction of wes craven  he knows when to hold back and at the same time makes the movie ooze with energy  illustrating the delicate poise flowing from his years of experience  some critics have noted that  scream 3  seems to take itself more seriously this time  maybe so  or maybe screenwriter ehren kruger  arlington road   who took over after williamson had scheduling conflicts  saw an opportunity for true irony   maybe even a little bit of satire   if the film worked in a few more clich   s  what puts a damper on this otherwise exceptional and creative film  i    m afraid  is the ending  or  rather  the identity of the killer  it does the job  i guess  accomplishes what it should  bringing the three films full circle  but upon my first viewing it seemed rather dissatisfying because it appears a little too contrived  too arbitrary  after a second viewing  which i endeavored upon due to this recurring disapprobation  the killer    s identity still seems a little too random  but his motivation came across more sound this time around  and the eventual conclusion was ultimately more satisfying  all in all   scream 3  does not fall victim to the most lamented principle of a trilogy  it is not the worst of the films  as a trilogy   scream  was a lot of fun  refreshing  humorous  offbeat  almost sad to see it go  but then  it does seem best to quit while you    re ahead  and  scream 3  does a fine job of providing closure to its characters  for now   scream  holds the title as the finest series of horror films to be committed to celluloid  not too shabby  
pos	ingredients  pouring rain  small flooded town  damn about to burst  bad guys going after millions of dollars synopsis  at one point in the story townsperson karen asks hero tom what happened to her church  he replies something like   the church is flooded but at least the floodwaters put out the big fire  well  the fire wasnt that bad  since  while the church was burning  looters apparently thought it was safe enough to break through all the priceless stained glass windows   in hard rain a small town is nearly deserted due to flooding  everyone has had to evacuate because its raining  and now floodwaters are rising so high that buildings are being submerged and the nearby dam is about to break  enter a working class smartalecky new armored car driver named tom  christian slater   suddenly his security truck carrying over three million dollars gets stuck on the flooded street and is waylaid by armed looters  tom has no choice but to grab the bag full of money  hide it  and swim for his life  this makes for an action movie full of jet skis  speedboat chases  and gun battles  as tom tries to evade and outsmart corrupt cops and armed looters until the national guard can answer his distress call  he is befriended and aided by a spunky churchgoing young woman from town named karen  minnie driver   but unknown to tom and karen  the national guard never heard toms initial distress call  will tom and karen survive the natural and manmade disasters  opinion  dont expect thoughtprovoking issues or dramatics  theres not much more to this movie than hiding  running  swimming  shooting  and saving handcuffed heroes from drowning  but thats what makes it escapist and fun  relax  take your shoes off  and break out the popcorn  
pos	although many people have compared this new gangster comedy to the hit hbo drama the sopranos   analyze this is witty and entertaining enough to be a good movie in its own right  billy crystal plays wiseguy shrink ben sobol  who new patient happens to be gangster boss paul vitti  de niro   ben wants nothing to do with vitti  as hes about to get married to laura macnamara  kudrow  and having a gangster as a patient wouldnt really help  but ben is soon drawn into vitti worlds  and reluctantly helps vitti to sort his life out  all done in a comic fashion  of course  although never brilliant  analyze this is also never rubbish  which makes for a fun ride  billy crystal  who hasnt had a good role since city slickers way back in the early 90s  is given a role that lets him fully exploit his wiseguy act  hes pretty funny while he does it  and although his character is a little close to his character in city slickers  hes pretty funny  robert de niro is hilarious as vitti  playing it dead straight but coming off as really funny  hes a serious gangster unaware that he is a comic gold mine  lisa kudrow  barely seen as crystals estranged wife to be  basically reprises her phoebe role from t  v series friends  which is getting rather tiresome  and doesnt come off well on the screen  the supporting cast is apparently made up of the entire cast of casino and goodfellas  and are all funny caricatures  especially vittis bodyguard jelly  joe viterelli   the film genuinely plays like a proper gangster movie  but with laughs instead of hard ass talking  it sometimes gets a little bloody for a light hearted film  but it strangely fits in  spoofs are made of famous gangster movies  including a nice parody of the godfather  the italian tunes playing throughout the soundtrack contribute to the fun  theres also some odd plot points  fbi guys appear and suddenly disappear for no apparent reason  it is true that analyze this has had a somewhat chequered production history  and perhaps the plot points were expanded in a earlier version of the script  unfortunately  this is hollywood  so we will never know  harold ramis  best known as egon from ghostbusters  has a deft touch with directing comedy  as shown in the immortal groundhog day  and the less immortal caddyshack  all the comic potential in a scene is dug out and presented to the audience  the script  written by ramis along with peter tolan and ken lonergan  starts off funny  remains funny for the most of the film  but sadly peters out somewhat during the last twenty minutes where it wrongly enters more serious territory  the film is short  however  and just before audience interest is waning the film suddenly goes into a rather rushed and unsatisfying ending and the credits roll  analyze this is a good comedy  and is certainly worth watching  robert de niro sobbing is reason enough to watch it  even though it does seem forced  or like a parody  although i think this was intentional   crystal is his most likeable in years  kudrow is given as little screen time as possible  which is a good thing  and de niro is just awesome  its no goodfellas  and it probably wont be remembered as much as groundhog day  but analyze this is a well done comedy that wont leave you feel cheated  
pos	 being john malkovich  is the type of film we need to see more  todays films are either blockbusters that entertain us with tiresome formulas  or those that have similar themes  malkovich falls under none of these categories  and its quite refreshing to see that occur  this strangely provoking story  is actually somewhat understandable  john cusack plays a puppeteer trying to make it to the big time  his wife  cameron diaz  supports the both of them by working at a petstore  which explains the obscure pets they keep in their apartment  when cusack finally realizes he needs to get a job  he finds an ad for a filing clerk  when he reaches the building  he arrives at a 7 12 floor  its there that he discovers a secret portal that leads to being john malkovich for 15 minutes at a time  meanwhile  cusack meets a business partner  catherine keener   in which he falls madly in love with her  the only problem is  she has no interest in him what so ever  the whole portal thing  isnt just a toy  in fact  it becomes cusacks dream  being inside malkovichs mind  gave him the opportunity to basically control mlakovich  like a puppet  and to fulfill his fantasies  i dont want to give away too much  but cusack becomes too attached with his discovery  in my opinion  this idea is absolutely brilliant  its really quite scary to think that someone could become you  control you  be you  it makes you wonder why we act like we do  and why sometimes we blurt out things or act out something out of the blue  even if the script is super sharp  i cant help but find the ending displeasing  it could have lead up to something more  or at least an amusing conclusion  it tried to explain a mythology about the portals  that made it seem rushed  other than that  i had a very enjoyable time  the acting was quite delightful as well  john cusack has finally been given a chance to prove his ability  and he does it well  hes by far the most underrated actor due to a lack of popularity  but im hoping that will change  cameron diaz was her usual charming self  although i felt that part was wrong for her  but she pulled it off  john malkovich himself continues to creep out people with his eerie facial expressions and tone of voice  who elses mind would be better to explore  the director  spike jonze  who appeared in last months three kings really catches my attention with this project  i knew he was bizzare  but not to this extreme  he too is likely too receive media attention   being john malkovich  isnt an excellent film  but it is definitly entertaining and will eaisly become a cult favorite  whats even better is the films puzzling message    am i nick lyons  
pos	as feelgood formulaic as it may be in its own way  shall we dance  also demonstrates a kind of charming restraint you dont often find in american films  this japanese import tells the story of a middleaged accountant named sugiyama  koji yakusho  whose mundane life is shaken up one night when he spots beautiful mai kishikawa  tamiyo kusakari  in the window of a dance school  intrigued by her melancholy demeanor  and slightly infatuated with her   sugiyama signs up for weekly classes at the school  and  much to his amazement  ends up as attracted to dancing itself as to his young sensei  meanwhile  sugiyamas wife  hideko hara  becomes suspicious of his late wednesday nights  and sets a private detective on her husbands trail  in a hollywood film  you can bet that subplot would be turned into a stream of slapstick comedy and crazy misunderstandings  in shall we dance   writerdirector masayuki suo dispenses with it in a matter of minutes  using it to set up later character interactions rather than letting it overwhelm the story with pratfalls  neither does he make the climactic moment of victory a competition between the hero and some meanspirited token rival  suo gives his comedy the graceful movements of his subject matter  allowing the humor to flow from the characters rather than forcing it upon them  an opening prologue in shall we dance  goes to some effort to place the film in a sociological perspective  explaining how contrary ballroom dancing is to the japanese sense of propriety  its a forced message in a story which doesnt need such a culturespecific angle  the dance school in shall we dance  plays the role of a singles mixer  with everyone vaguely embarrassed to be there yet taking the opportunity to try on new personalities  most amusing among these new personalities is the one adopted by sugiyamas coworker mr  aoki  naoto takenaka   a balding systems analyst who becomes a fiery latin lover when he dons a frizzy wig and begins to rumba  sugiyamas awakening is less overt  but koji yakusho does a wonderful job showing a transformation of small steps  its a delicate performance with a huge heart  shall we dance  is a fairly lightweight experience  which makes its final half hour rather a long sit  suo crams a lot of exposition into very little time  including an unnecessarily detailed backstory for mai  resulting in a sluggish march towards the resolution  it is here that shall we dance  feels most hollywoodconventional  attempting to blindside the audience with a truckload of emotional catharsis  suo might have been better advised to conclude with the small gem of a scene in which sugiyama and his wife take their first tentative dance steps together  thats the real joy of dance shall we dance  conveys  its ability to create an intoxicating mood of romance which can soften the stiffest shirt  
pos	 the tailor of panama  is a different kind of spy movie  despite the presence of pierce brosnan  there is nary a hint of james bond flash here  instead of big action scenes  leering super villains and emptyheaded femme fatales  we get interesting characters and an intriguing situation  based on the novel by john le carr   who also cowrote the screenplay  the film offers viewers something rarely seen in theaters this time of year  a solid  welltold story  brosnan plays andy osnard  a british operative walking on thin ice  his british superiors ship him off to panama  making sure he understands that he had better not screw up the placement  osnard arrives in the tropics virtually oozing contempt for his new coworkers and his new home base  when shown the bridge of the americas by a person marveling over the fact that  since the creation of the panama canal  the structure is the sole connection between north and south america  he barely keeps from yawning  brosnan clearly relishes the chance to be the antithesis of 007  investing the suave spy with a distinct reptilian quality coupled with an air of indifference that irks his fellows to no end  searching for a way to get information on the government  osnard sets his sights on harry pendel  geoffrey rush   an unctuous tailor serving the panamanian elite  harry claims to be a transplant from britains renowned saville row  but osnard knows his secret  the tailor is an excon who served five years in prison after torching his uncles shop in an insurance scam  he also knows that harry is up to his ears in debt  having spent a fortune on an unsuccessful farm  osnard offers harry a way out  he will pay for information harry has gathered from his upscale clientele  eager to comply  harry offers what he knows  then starts concocting tidbits to keep the money flowing  before long  he is forced to spy on his loving wife  louisa  jamie lee curtis   an aide to the canal director  harrys little lies build  eventually taking on a life of their own  osnard turns in reports about the  silent opposition   a group threatening to upset the balance of control over the canal  the bogus revelation proves explosive  leading to meetings in washington d  c  over how to best protect the vital waterway  meanwhile  osnard wallows in his newfound status  enjoying the best the city has to offer and wooing an attractive coworker  and harry grows ever more fretful  fearing the consequences if his clients  not to mention his wife  learn about his lies  geoffrey rush is wonderful as harry  fawning over his customers by day and savoring his rich family life in the evenings  all while playing secret agent in the off hours with his new benefactor  rush makes harry a credible figure  presenting the various levels of the character so effectively that he remains sympathetic despite his duplicity  after gaining fame playing larger than life characters  rush flips everything around for this role  using his energy to depict the quiet desperation of a man slowly realizing that the solution to his troubles may be worse than the original problems  although she gets far too little screen time  jamie lee curtis imbues louisa with a depth greater than the screenplay provides her  of the central characters  she is the only one that exhibits maturity and genuine selfconfidence  curtis is one of my favorite female actors  whiplash smart  sultry and charismatic  she deserves more than supporting roles  speaking of supporting characters  there are some great ones here  harold pinter is amusing as harrys uncle benny  who pops up throughout the story in a number of creative ways  also shoring up the proceedings is jon polito as a corrupt banker and dylan baker  who is a riot as a united states general straight out of the dr  strangelove school of armed patriotism  but the most important secondary performers are leonor varela and brendan gleeson  both outstanding as two wounded activists  their presence adds weight to the story  reminding us that beyond the charades of the leading men  there are real people that have suffered greatly over the politics connected to the canal  director john boorman adds additional verisimilitude by shooting the film on location  instead of using panama city merely as a colorful backdrop  he adroitly weaves in footage of all aspects of life there  the metropolis  described by one character as  casablanca without heroes  pulsates with life  underling the folly of the two foreigners playing dangerous games that could have a disastrous impact on a great many people   the tailor of panama  succeeds because the principals behind it were bright enough to make it more than a simple entertainment  
pos	perhaps its time for me to say a little about my reading habits  i really do like to read  and ive enjoyed many books in my lifetime  my problem is that im a slow reader  and not very dedicated  ill enjoy portions of a book and then set it down for months at a time  its taken me the last six weeks to get through the first one hundred pages of anna karenina  even though im loving the book   in addition to this  i typically dont read anything created after the 19th century  the only reason i bother with this bit of information is because i feel bad admitting  time after time  that i havent read any of the books on which these films are based  the only exception  i believe  is great expectations   however  i dont think it should be necessary to read the book beforehand in order to judge the quality of the film  needless to say  i havent read the elmore leonard novel out of sight  on which steven soderberghs new film is based  i cant say how faithful of an adaptation it is  or if it lives up to leonards vision  i can say that its a terrific film  with sharp acting  great dialogue  and pumping full of energy and style injected by soderbergh  its certainly a nice distraction from 1998s lineup of brainless blockbusters  all hopelessly wishing that size mattered  out of sight proves that it doesnt  i had originally written george clooney off as a onenote actor  incapable of depth but occasionally showing a little flair  after seeing his latest performance in this film  ive changed my mind  this guy can act  but he also has that forceful presence that most certainly will make him one of those 20 million superstars  here  he plays jack foley  a middle aged guy who robs banks for a living  he does it because its fun  i think  but the film opens with him getting caught because his car wont start  he goes to jail  which is interesting  only to break out five cinematic minutes later with the help of his friend  buddy  ving rhames   were then introduced to karen sisco  jennifer lopez   a u  s  marshall who  conveniently  is waiting with a shotgun as jack escapes  fortunately  they take her hostage  and she and jack spend some quality time in the trunk together as buddy drives them to safety  the central conflict arises when both jack and karen become obsessed with one another  though their respective jobs make them superficially incompatible  we soon learn that the film is not told in sequence  and  since this is a gritty crime comedy  flashbacks of pulp fiction should arise   at first  i kind of felt that it was a gimmick  but i guess it was a gimmick in pulp fiction  too  its a fun gimmick  though  and soderbergh treats the material with enough humor that everything comes off naturally  ive only seen a few of soderberghs films  i was impressed both with kafka and sex  lies  and videotape   but i think hes excellent at what he does  hes an artist without making it obvious  and without being pretentious  which is always admirable  he uses tricks  yes  lots of freezeframe stuff here   but it all adds to the smooth and quirky currents in the film  as i said  clooney is terrific  and hes matched by lopez  lopez is  of course  beautiful  but she can act  too  i can sense that shes honing in on her skills  for she comes off more natural here than she has in any of her previous ventures  not that stone gave her much help in the loathsome uturn   the two actors have arresting chemistry with one another  the best scene in the film  by far  is the seduction scene  the brilliance of this scene is also due  in part  to soderbergh  for he cuts back and forth from their quiet discussion in a bar to the physical act which takes place a few minutes later  the scene is a series of soft nuances and glances  layered upon light dialogue  and the result is one of the better love scenes in recent cinema  meaningful and engrossing  the supporting cast is strong  led by the alwaysreliable ving rhames  dennis farina  who plays karens father  is good  as is don cheadle as the profoundly stupid villain  steve zahn  who plays jacks nearlybrain dead accomplice glenn  steals all of his scenes  and thats in a film where every scene is already at a high level   all of the actors are helped by the dialogue and the intelligentlyconstructed script by scott frank  out of sight is certainly a light film  although there are a few heavy moments that will linger in the memory  overall  i can recommend it simply as great entertainment  not every film has to change your life  and its nice to see a movie that uses the art to tell a great story and simply to entertain its viewers  as for the book  this film is good enough to make me believe that there might be something in the text worth looking at  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  among my fanatical ticker tapeworshipping friends  theres one who happens to share the same philosophy espoused by the central character in darren aronofskys darkly original pi  the entire stock market can be reduced to nothing but a series of patterns which  through analysis  will produce information to accurately forecast future behaviour   an example of the mentality involved  if the stock price goes up like this  and then down like that  and then sharply up this way  it then will go  this  way   while i freely admit that i know less than nothing about the market  knowledge check  prices up  good  prices down  bad  most of the time  at least  and hence really couldnt comment with any authority  its always nonetheless struck me as an incredibly naive oversimplification of an astonishingly complex system  and besides  if it were that simple  no doubt somebody wouldve already figured it all out   the difference in this case is that while my colleague  an otherwise assuredly realistic individual  truly believes in this in and of itself as a valid forecaster  pi uses this ideology as a device with which to investigate its characters psychosis  its also vastly more convincing with its argument   mathematics is the language of the universe   insists genius protagonist maximillian cohen  sean gullette  in a cool  mantralike voiceover which repeats throughout the picture  since nature can be expressed in numbers  and there are patterns everywhere in nature  he reasons with eminent logic that finding the patterns will allow him to predict anything  the ups and downs of the stock market  how many games the yankees will win this year  the flavour of jam im going to put on my toast tomorrow morning  obsessed with finding the proverbial key to the universe  max lives in paranoid  selfimposed solitude in a seedy nyc chinatown apartment  singlemindedly toiling away with his monstrous homemade computer system  sullenly withdrawn and plauged by debilitating migraines  the elusive pursuit of a mysterious 216digit number his machine spits out one day is driving him into madness  the story  then  is basically an eccentricity  but its a clever  astute eccentricity  perceptively zeroing in on the modern mistrust of mathematical reductionism  in an age where a dominant societal phobia is ones individualism being replaced by a series of numeric identifiers  maxs allconsuming penchent for numbers at once creates a lingering  unsettling mood  it helps matters that hes not a particularly likable protagonist  all attempts of friendliness from neighbours are curtly rebuffed by max  a spindly  neuroticlooking individual who hasnt the time to indulge in pleasantries  for a film which puts its lead character front and center  mr  gullette appears in virtually every scene   pi takes a refreshing and effective approach in avoiding conventional aesthetics  because of our ambivalence with max  were not so much avidly rooting for him to triumph with a moment of epiphany as were following him through this plot with a sense of mixed dread and morbid fascination  its more disturbing journey than quest  still  we do care about maxs fate  teetering on the edge of dementia  he winds up being pursued by two different groups which want to pick his brain  both fronted by deliciously perky  resolutely cheerful representatives with inevitably duplictious intentions  as we know  in films where paranoia is a dominant element  see the truman shows laura linney character   or for that matter  in real life  its always the ones who never stop smiling at you and are overly friendly that are the ones of which to be wary  pi  a film that addresses patterns  itself intentionally adheres to an identifiable pattern cycle  headache scene  important revelation or bit of plot development  pillpopping montage  hallucinatory nightmare  with decidedly cronenbergesque undertones  few other directors are as equally adept in bridging unsettling concepts and bodythemed horror   nosebleeding reality  the repetitiveness  far from being tedious  is effectively maddening  more than anything  the picture aims to get under our skins and take in events from maxs claustrophobic perspective  in this regard  it wildly succeeds due to mr  aronofskys striking direction  its a rarity that a film so completely immerses itself into a protagonists warped perspective of his surrounding  and high contrast blackandwhite cinematography combined with constant usage of extreme closeups lend a heightened sense of paranoia to the proceedings   in some scenes  the stark composition in conjunction with the lumbering approach by mr  gullette make his character curiously resemble a latterday max schreck  from nosferatu   using savage  jittery lensing and rapid cuts to create a sense of disorientation  the picture is often dizzying to behold  and maxs effective isolationism is emphasized by shots from the socalled snorri cam  which keep him in plain focus while the environment races by in blurred bursts  pis raw  aggressive visuals are reminiscent of david lynchs early work  in particular  eraserhead   the films sinister tone splashes onto the screen immediately with a dazzling opening credit sequence ably backed by a sly electronic score by clint mansell  and gradually increases in intensity  still  amidst all its kafkaesque qualities and overall dispassionate mood  pi does occasionally display a sense of humour  at one point  marcy dawson  pamela hart  great fun  entices max with the offer of an invaluable treasure  a oneofakind    computer chip   isnt it beautiful   she coos  a showcase for mr  aronofskys technical virtuosity  made for 60 000  its since gone on to capture acclaim at the 1998 sundance film festival   pi is an intriguingly cerebral story which  ironically  is perhaps the most purely visceral film of the year  
pos	upon arriving at the theater during the opening credits  i took my seat and prepared myself for what appeared to be  hellraiser meets the crow   but as soon as kiefer sutherland began speaking the narrative monologue  describing  the strangers  and their reasons for contacting human beings  i was hooked  there was something especially compelling about the nature of his voice  i knew from the start that i was going to witness the actions of his character rather than the actor attempting the character  sutherland played the role as a true veteran  upon the completion of his monologue  the camera arrives on sutherland in such a fashion that you can only wonder how long alex proyas spent on cinematography  i would imagine  for a film of this caliber  that maximum hours of work were spent where they were needed the most  the film flowed beautifully  as i was being taken through the intricate regions of the  dark city   a clever plot began to unravel  to the point where the last time i had seen such clever plot twists were in  the usual suspects   not to mention a series of special effects that would make james cameron literally turn green with envy  but if youre not exactly the biggest scifi fan  caveat emptor  get ready for the atmostpheric darkness of  12 monkeys  or  the crow  without the boredom or depression  the concept of the plot is as mindstretching as  12 monkeys  was  however  so be prepared and be sophisticated  and imagine a picture that finally does justice to the comicbookgonefeaturefilm fad that hollywood has recently become abusive of  dark city simply puts  spawn  to shame  in fact  during the climax of the film i couldnt help but feel the strong presence of an  akira  esque explosion throughout the general feeling of the movie  so my initial predictions were wrong  this film is anything but the meloncholy of  hellraiser  parts one through five  im never one to base a film entirly on special effects  so know that when i give dark city its actually because the film contained all of the neccessary ingredients to keep me entertained and awake from storyline to plot twists to camerawork to even  tsk  tsk  special effects  not since contact have i recieved such deep insight into the way the human mind operates and never this year have i been so blown away  the best film ive seen all year  and easily one of the best ive ever seen 
pos	kadosh means sacred in hebrew  amos gitais fictional work  after spending most of his career doing documentaries  is a grim story about a failed hasidic marriage  even though the marriage is a loving one  the marriage will symbolize the clash of cultures in modern israel between the native israelis modern viewpoint toward religion and the political savvy hasidics intolerable one  as both groups are vying for control of the secular government  gitai  devarimyom yom  is a labor party leftist  who believes that if the rigid hasidic ever got control of the government  it would sound the death knell of israel  the emphasis of the film is on how the ultraorthodox jews of that sect live by the letter of the torah in everything they do and how they subjugate the women to accept their vision of gods law from only the males view  that if they ever got control of the country  their intolerant attitude would subjugate the country the same way the women are  the story takes place in jerusalems jewish quarters called mea shearim  where we are taken down sinewy back streets with placards pasted on the walls  and into the crowded apartments and prayer rooms where the protagonists live out their idea of the proper jewish life  which is much different than the way most jews live in israel  this is a controversial film  in that the women are unhappy and the male attitudes are to such an extreme patriarchal ones  that the film is bound to anger most viewers  no matter their belief  it is a slowmoving  meticulous film  that grabs hold of you by the collar and never lets go  the force of what is seen  though filmed in an objective manner  never taking a cheap shot at the hasidim  is nevertheless bound to leave questions about the nature of such a practice of strict observance  the film is meant to be critical of such a rigid people  as it implies how they kill the spirit of everything they touch and with their extreme phobic attitudes  it makes it impossible for them to unite the country when they cant at present live in harmony with their own people  and it would be even more impossible to imagine them living with their arab neighbors in peace  the film opens as meir rises at dawn and goes through his prayer ritual  where every prayer is made to the virtues of god  he even thanks god that he didnt make him a woman  his wife rivka accepts the fate she was born into and looks at him from the next bed where she sleeps separately according to hasidic custom  she looks at him with glistening eyes  not questioning the laws or rebelling against her secondary role and how her religion keeps her from studying the talmud and having all the modern conveniences of life  and from seeing movies and tv  meir is a talmudic scholar  his father  abu warda  is a rabbi at the yeshiva  he has been married for ten years and his wife has not been able to give him a child  since the hasidim look upon a womans role in life being only to conceive children  and cook and clean house for the man  while the mans role is to spend his time in prayer  therefore there is an insurmountable problem in this otherwise loving marriage  she receives an anonymous letter that states  a woman without a child is no better than dead   meirs response  is that it is written like that in the talmud  meirs father tells him that the marriage contract must be broken   a man who dies without progeny rips a page from the torah   all the blame is placed on rivka  who is thought of as unpure as the reason for her being barren  she will go through countless ritual baths to cleanse herself  as her rigid mother  koenig  dunks her in the holy water and says a ritual prayer for the 12 times she is dunked as an homage to the 12 tribes of israel  their religion doesnt permit them to be examined extensively by a doctor  rivka goes on the sly and finds out that it is her husband who is sterile  but she cannot tell him that because of their religion  so when meirs father chooses a younger woman for his son  she is exiled to live alone in a cold apartment in the same jewish quarters  rivkas spirited younger sister malka does not want to get married but wants to live a more liberated life  she has a long time romantic relationship with a fellow hasidic yaakov  but  because of the way they were both raised  she is still a virgin  when yaakov joined the israeli army to fight in lebanon  something his sect is not allowed to do  he is thereby banished from the sect even though he is still a believer  he now works as a singer in a nightclub  malkas mother is worried that her daughter wont get married  so she arranges with the rabbi for her to marry yossef  someone whom she doesnt love  yossef is a very stern follower of the order  he is also a political activist who drives around the city in a soundtruck with a bullhorn urging jews to stick together and fight their godless enemies  the two sisters are close and languidly discuss their options  with rivka telling her sister to accept the marriage  it will make her happy  but  while malka is reluctantly forced into accepting it  she has other plans to ruin this bogus marriage  the harshest scene in the film is on malkas wedding night  yossef prays to god for a child and then robotically gets malka to spread her legs  and without the least bit of affection  only a nervousness shown on his part for the function he supplies  as he goes inside her and rams her hard  thrusting away until the act is completed and then retiring without a word or gesture of love  the sisters have choices  like everyone else in life does  but the choices are obliterated by ones beliefs  circumstances  and inward nature  and how difficult it is to carry out those choices if it goes completely against the way one is brought up  for the sisters  the choices are life or death ones  gitai by closing in on the daily rituals  tight living quarters and closeknit community  has shown how difficult these choices are for those who have never seen another world and have been kept in the dark all their life  the film ends with the forlorn malka walking atop of jerusalem and looking down upon it as an outsider would  and everything seems strange to her  all the things she once thought of as being set in stone are now harsh memories  as she has made her choice  and the price of that choice is very heavy indeed  
pos	the film  magnolia  can be compared to a simple flower as its title and movie poster suggests  the dozens of characters introduced and developed are like the petals on the flower  they all come from the same stem and as the flower begins to develop they grow farther and farther apart  the numerous characters in the film are all closely connected no matter how different they are from one another socially  from a humiliated but kind cop to an aging game show host  each one of these characters is suffering the same kind of pain  they are each seriously lonely and seek the perfect companion to end this loneliness  whether this companion is a distant family member or a spouse  each character begs for one and spends the whole film searching for the perfect one   magnolia  is a clever  well thought out film from prodigy directorwriter paul thomas anderson of  boogie nights  fame  the detailed character analyses and the powerful script make  magnolia  memorable  however  what really is impressive is that even though there are tons of characters in several unrelated stories  the film is never confusing  andersons control over transitioning from one story to another story is masterful  he also knows exactly when to cut to another subplot since not one of  magnolias  scenes drag on too long  any three hour film that does not deliver even one uninteresting scene is definitely worth recommending  from the fascinating beginning to the risky yet surprisingly satisfying ending the film just doesnt get boring  it is obvious that anderson put a lot of time into connecting each subplot  this is the ultimate game of six degrees of separation  every character is connected to every other character by at the most two degrees  for example  cop john c  reilly is connected to game show host phillip baker hall through halls daughter melora walters who once went on a date with reilly  the fact that each character is so different from the others yet so similar shows that there are universal pains that all classes  races  and genders suffer  andersons explanation to prove this point is both accurate and convincing  the only mistake anderson made in trying to connect his characters was by making his actors all sing an aimee mann song simultaneously  this was foolish not only because it was unbelievable and hilariously erroneous but also because it had a broadway musical feel to it and this movie is about as far apart from your typical broadway musical than you can get  the performances in  magnolia  are perfection  this is a classic example of flawless casting and flawless ensemble acting  anderson allows many of hollywoods best supporting actors to blossom at what they do best  character acting  all of the main characters in each story are perfect because they are able to reveal more emotions and attitudes in their brief time on the screen then most movie stars can do in a feature length film  worth noting is tom cruise  who stepped out of his usual superficial starring role and into a funny but depressing tour de force performance  he was probably noticed more than the other actors in the film by award givers because his role here is so much different and impressive than those in the past  however any actor in this film could be nominated for best supporting actor without any complaints  the only problem i had with the acting was that a few of the characters felt seriously edited down such as melinda dillons character as phillip baker halls wife  she seemed to be thrown in towards the end and i felt very little sympathy for her because i had not seen her enough earlier in the film   magnolia  uses several effective metaphors to describe its characters  anderson has the talent to make the audience sympathetic towards numerous people in only a few hours  to see that anderson is able to perfectly portray this many different types of people shows that he has a keen sense of diversity  diversity is what makes a director successful for a long period of time  i predict a lot of diversity and success from anderson in the future  
pos	no humans were harmed  tested or tasted in the making of this film  all recipes are fictions  twentieth century fox does not condone cannibalism  a psychological thriller that will scare you to the depth of your soul  directorwriter antonia bird shows us that the most terrifying horror is not provided by giant beasts  but instead by monsters lurking in ourselves      they were a party of settlers in covered wagon times and they had to resent to cannibalism in order to stay alive    this true story  briefly mentioned in  the shining   has no turned into a 143 minutes long motion picture  in 1847  the united states was a land of pioneers  of goldstarved americans making their way west  it was a period of manifest destiny  the inevitability of the country extending its boundaries  stretching out its arms and consuming all the land it could  capt  john boyd  guy pearce  has become both a  hero  and a victim during this period of relentless consumption    in ways he could never have imagined  boyds journey to hell begins when he is awarded for an act of cowardice during a horrific mexicanamerican war battle earns him banishment to a desolate military outpost  a waystation for western travelers in the barren and icy sierra nevada mountains in california  upon his arrival he is greeted by a small  motley group of soldiers  including his commanding officer  hart  jeffrey jones   a previously intelligent and sophisticated man who has lost his aristocratic origin in the heat of battle and has pretty much given up on life  toffler  jeremy davies   the forts personal emissary to the lord  knox  stephen spinella   the veterinarian that plays doctor  who never met a bottle of whiskey he didnt like  reich  neal mcdonough   the nononsense soldier of the group  and the seriously  overmedicated  cleaves  david arquette   a cook whose meals are inspired more by peyote than culinary ambitions  into this cold  bleak and bizarre world staggers a stranger  colqhoun  robert carlyle   a halfstarved scot who had been traveling with a group of settlers until they became snowbound  seeking refuge in a cave  they soon ran out of food  and were forced to consume one another  colqhoun barely escaped becoming an hors doeuvre himself  our heroes then decide to journey through the mountains to find the survivors  and colqhoun tags along to help out  soon it becomes clear that colqhouns tale has ramifications beyond cannibalism and the will to survive  it involves an old indian myth called weendigo  which states that a man who eats the flesh of another steals that persons strength  spirit and very essence  his hunger becomes an insatiable craving  the more he eats  the more he wants  and the stronger he becomes  there can never be enough  and death is the only escape   its all fairly sickening and you have to have a healthy stomach to see the whole movie through  as professionally made as the movie is  you have to wonder who they thought would come piling into the theater to see this  teenage horror fans wont care because none of the soldiers look remotely like neve campell  older folks might show up when they hear that the movie is actually a satire about the pioneer spirit  but theyll be disappointed once all the raw meat starts getting waved in their faces  but jokes aside  this is a film that is well worth watching  it has wonderful and mature characters  that few horror film s can boast of and a strangely effective story that continues to electrify you till the end  the two main characters are also the most interesting  boyd is a simple  honest man tiered of war  killing and fear  his sacred wish is to live a normal  quite life away from gunpowder and blood  colqhoun is different  he proves that a man  on the brink of death  would do anything to stay alive  including sacrificing his own soul  he believes so much in this indian myth that he starts to change physically  it is the power of the human mind and conviction that make miracles happen  the atmosphere in  ravenous  is macabre and bizarre  scary and surreal  completely isolated from the rest of the world  stands fort spencer  here time stands still  and nothing changes  the inhabitants are soldiers driven by war and pillage  they are all somehow losers of society that have been banished  men that are used to killing and have not done anything else in their entire life  men that are nothing  and has nothing to loose  the result is some sort of cabin fever  cannibalism is more like a sick game for them  since they find no pleasure in living  they find some excitement in killing and dying  its like  whos going to die first   the unchangeable icy landscape  where birds do not sing and even wind doesnt move the leaves on the trees  resembles kubricks  the shining   its hard to not get mad here  one of the scary aspects of the film is a strange connection that the viewer establishes with the characters  and starts to understand them  although they have turned into half crazed killers  music is another factor that strengthens the atmosphere  a strange musical score  composed by michael nyman  the piano  and damon albarn  that often seems out of place  and in complete contrast to the image  somehow reflects the characters twisted reactions on the world and their situation  the director herself stated that it was  ok to laugh  during the picture  and i must admit that it is often very funny  in a strange way  such as the wonderful quote     its lonely being a cannibal  you dont get that many friends     or when colqhoun is quoting ben franklin  saying  eat to live  dont live to eat     but mostly it is frightening and shocking as it goes deeper into the minds of these strange men and we witness their psychological change  every actor does a great job  especially robert carlyle as the sinister and intelligent cannibal  and guy pearce as the moral and honest soldier  nagged by his undeserved honor  this strange couple resemble lestat and lois in neil jordans interview with the vampire  actually there are many amusing parallels and connections to vampire movies  since the topics are so alike   ravenous  starts wonderfully and continues to shock and scare until it gets to the finale  where it looses focus and gets too primitive and rather boring  however these little failures dont diminish the impression  this is a bizarre dark comedy about the human mind and its change in different situations  it is a scary fable about the monster that lurks in everyones soul  a dark side which were all trying to hide  but its there  always  it is one of the most frightening and successful horror films since  the shining      i said no food  i didnt say there was nothing to eat      colqhoun  ravenous 
pos	 good will hunting  is two movies in one  an independent take on the struggle of four boston pals and a traditional hollywood   prodigy child  film complete with upbeats  downfalls  sporadically moving situations and plenty  plenty of shtick  unusually directed by gus van sant   good will hunting  overcomes the banalities of its story by affirming the emergence of fresh  new talent  the film stars matt damon as will hunting as a mathematical  rebellious whiz kid inadvertly discovered by a college professor  stellan skarsgard   who places him under psychological supervision with robin williams  in a nutshell  thats it  the core of the  good will hunting  is damon  who infuses the script  co written by  chasing amys  ben affleck  with just the right amount of warmth  sensitivity and humanity to accentuate his position as a refreshing multi talented performer  but its the acting that hits the mark  and damon hits all the right notes  flying over robin williams dejavu role   awakenings  was written all over this  as a devastated shrink who has closed all contact with society due to his wifes tragic death  damon effortlessly blends the carelesness of a gregarious  confused thug with the absorbing ingeniousness of someone like einstein  his rich  complex character is the pulp of  good will hunting   everything else pales in comparison   good will hunting  exposes the lack of profoundness of deliberately schmaltzy storytelling  but  unlike  little man tate  or  phenomenon   it doesnt set up its story in a black and white  point a to point b be manner  but as the saga of an extraordinary individual whose feasibility for success doesnt automatically signify he must make easy  familiar choices  like the protagonists in the aforementioned  
pos	curdled is a deliciously dark and witty black comedy  but its humour wont appeal to everyone  to be specific  let me give you an example  do you know in pulp fiction where jules and vincent go on brain detail after marvin and his head accidentally get separated  if you thought that was completely tasteless and unfunny  dont see curdled  on the other hand  if you found that sequence to be pretty funny  you have the sense of humour that curdled is aimed at  our films heroine  gabriela  played by angela jones  is a woman obssessively curious about murder and serial killers  she even keeps a scrapbook of news articles  luckily for her  miami is being plagued by a serial killer rampage  her scrapbook is getting pretty big  the killers nickname in the press is the blue blood killer  because he preys on older rich socialite women  and hes played by william baldwin  this is not a spoiler   one particularly striking m  o  on the blue blood killer is his propensity to decapitate his victims  gabriela is watching television one day when she spots an advertisement for a firm whose line of work is perfectly attuned to her interests  she immediately quits her job  and signs on with pfcs  which stands for postforensic cleaning service  no points for guessing what they do  her workmates are confused by gabrielas fascination with murder  to them  its just a day job  theres a hilarious locker room scene where they debate whether decapitated heads can talk  and what they would say  gabrielas partner  elena  played by mel gorham  is particularly perturbed by gabrielas wideeyed fascination  and becomes really upset when gabriela volunteers them to clean up the blue blood killers latest scene  theyre the messiest  you see  unbeknownst to them  the last victim left something on the scene which would id the blue blood killer  so hes also heading over there   the comparison to pulp fiction earlier on was not accidental  quentin tarantino executiveproduced this film  which began life as a short film he saw at a film festival  apparently tarantino was so impressed that he helped braddock convert this into a featurelength film  there are other parallels  the star of curdled is angela jones  the top billing goes to william baldwin  but really  jones is the central character   whos probably best known for her role as esmerelda villalobos  the deathobssessed taxi driver in pulp fiction  that role was written specifically for jones based upon her similar character in the aforementioned short film  curdled jr  jones is great in curdled  shes wonderfully funny and maintains an amusing wideeyed naive curiousity about murder without compromising her characters innocence or likeability  she can express so much with one lift of her eyebrow  its a great performance  reb braddocks direction is extremely sharp and clever  toeing the line between black humour and bad taste  the best scene in the film is an outrageously funny sequence involves jones and dancing  any more than that would be a spoiler  the opening credit sequence is also inventive and amusing  of course  its impossible to really take this stuff seriously  but then again youre not really supposed to  braddock knows the audience is in on the joke  and makes it a fun little romp as a result  the one drawback of curdled is that it was based on a short film  and it feels like it  the material is just stretched too thin in order to fulfill a feature length running time  and some parts just seem to drag  while its running time is already a short 94 minutes  it could really stand to lose twenty minutes or so to give it better pacing  curdled seems destined to be a nice cult film for miramax  itll be interesting to see if it will appeal to mainstream audiences as well  
pos	it is often said by his fans that hal hartley movies are an acquired taste  indeed  while perhaps less dangerous than tequila shooters or bungeejumping  they require no less amount of physical stamina and concentration  i felt rewarded at the end of henry fool  this movie creeps up on youat a slow 139 minutes  i mean creepsand despite the final shots ambiguity  i left completely satisfied  henry fool   used to have an  e   arrives at garbageman simon grims house  claims the vacant basement apartment  and almost instantly inspires simon  urbaniak  to take up writinghenry  martin donovan lookalike ryan  is an exconvict  a oncegreat author who has been  exiled and marginalized  by the publishing community because of his criminal activity  simons poetry turns him into a local sensation  as it causes mute women to sing  highschool girls to swoon  and councilmen to rile against its  pornographic  content  meanwhile  henry seduces both simons dependent mother  porter  and immature sister  sundance queen posey  with philosophical babble  which is by turns brilliant and inane  and breathy animal lust  these story elements result in climaxes both inevitable and unpredictable  the teacherstudent relationship formed between henry and simon eventually reverses itself  henry fool is sprinkled with hartleyian flourishes  simon drinks milk from  udderleys   the big teen hangout is called  world of donuts   simon wears his garbagemans uniform throughout  the editing style is decidedly elliptical     which is key to the conclusions said ambiguity   the performances by the three leads are abrasive at first  selfconsciously  quirky   the introductory scenes are a chore  these people do grow on you because they convey genuine passion  a belief in themselves  and because they have longterm goals  henry and simon may drink a lot of budweiser and hang out on the streetcorner  but they arent pop slackers  the story is rather classical  the tutor is a better talker than a doer  raised on books  the timid tutee has innate talent his master only dreams of   shades of film school     the finished film is epic in its proportions for a story so small  and the final third does test ones patience  yet henry fool is tight  hardly excessive in its length  how refreshing to see a movie this long in 1998 devoted entirely to character  and unless i nodded off  not a single building exploded  this  hartleys seventh feature  is contemplative about  the artist   fortunately  we never get a sampling of simons work  and its a testament to the actors and the screenplay that by the end we can surmise what sort of thoughts would pour from these writers pens  
pos	most people fit into two different categories  you either love woody allen  or you hate his guts  my family  for the most part  hates him and his movies  i think hes very funny  but his shtick has gotten forced and contrived over the years  so maybe taking his body away was the best decision any producer could have thought of  unrestrained by physical boundaries  allens humor comes shining through  those who had problems with his physical appearance will be able to join the rest of us in laughing at allens intelligent observations of life  those who had problems with his verbal comedy may want to skip this one  in 1995  a film was introduced to audiences which sparked their imaginations and showed them something theyd never seen before  toy story used stateoftheart computer technology and presented a world of toys who would come alive when no humans were present  many critics will call that a better film  but i believe they only say that because it was a completely original motion picture  antz  however  has upped the ante considerably  disneys a bugs life isnt due out for another two months  and dreamworks seems to have received the better end of the deal  by beating disney out  they have satisfied the audiences thirst for computeranimated films  but dont let that fool you  disney is definitely not scared  in the past two years  competitions have broken out between studios  in 1997  it was the volcano duel  in my opinion  dantes peak came out way ahead of its predecessor  both in time and in quality  volcano had an original premise  but destroyed that with some very ridiculous situations  in 1998  there are twice as many competing films  first was the comet competition  and armageddon blew away its cheesily dramatic competitor deep impact  but now  its even more interesting  as one beloved studio  disney  goes up against the newcomer  dreamworks   who will prevail  time will tell  but im sure that mr  mouse has nothing to fear  this may sound like i didnt like antz  on the contrary  id put it up there with toy story  but due to its pg rating  many parents may be put off by some of the dialogue which shouldnt appear in disneys version  some of the dialogue in antz pushes the envelope for a familyoriented film  sexual innuendoes and profanity pop up occasionally  which makes dreamworks animated feature geared more for an adult crowd  the humor is also written especially for adults  though many kids were laughing in the theater i attended  this is the type of film that should be made for families more often  entertaining for kids and entertaining for parents  antz begins with a hilarious monologue which seems a meld between woody allens shtick and franz kafkas metamorphosis  the short story of a man who wakes up to discover himself as a bug  z  allen  is a troubled ant  believing he was not made to be a worker   when youre the middle child in a family of five million     he comments about his neglected childhood  one night  z is sitting in a bar with his friend weaver  sylvester stallone   discussing his pathetic place in life  in walks princess bala  sharon stone   whom no one recognizes without a crown  bala asks z is he would like to dance  and they engage in a pulp fictionesque dance while everyone else is following the leader  after discovering that she is the princess  z falls in love  but theres a problem  bala is getting married to general mandible  gene hackman   a ruthless leader who merely wants to control a better and stronger colony  in order to do that  he must eliminate not only the queen  anne bancroft   but the weakest of the colony  namely the worker ants  but to get rid of the queen  he needs to get rid of the loyal army ants who would be willing to die for her  he and colonel cutter  christopher walkin  come up with a plan to send the loyal ants off to battle  where they will surely be killed  the queen is reluctant at first  but decides it is best for the colony  meanwhile  z wants to meet bala again  and he asks weaver  an army ant  to switch places with him  so z gets sent off to battle  but he manages to survive the slaughter by the termites  the battle sequence is absolutely stunning  though you may have flashbacks to starship troopers  which contained a very similar sequence  however  antz and that 1997 film were both in production around the same time  so the similarities are merely coincidence  the second half of the film revolves around zs kidnapping of bala  and their search for a mythical place called insectopia  there  an ant can be his own boss and have all the food he wants  the adventures z and bala get into are surprisingly high in tension  especially one involving a magnifying glass  looming over the targets like the spaceships from independence day  in fact  im just going to assume that the producers referenced id4 intentionally   the ants look up in awe  and then a beam of fire blasts into the ground  visually  its an exciting rush of adrenaline  but dont be fooled    little kids shouldnt see this  as they may just try and copy it  after seeing antz  i vowed never to intentionally step on an ant again  hopefully  children will learn that killing ants is rather cruel  as an animated film  antz is probably the best you will find to date  visually  its as stunning as what dreams may come  the best aspect of animation is the fact that the characters arent limited by gravity  they can take ridiculous situations and make them seem plausible  one great moment involves a mass of worker ants bunching up to form a wrecking ball  the animation is so perfect that you can virtually see every single ant on the ball  however  the most exhilarating scene involves bala getting stuck to the bottom of a young boys shoe  its truly a great example of film making at its finest  with computer technology  the animators have carefully made the ants faces look similar to the actors providing the voices  the best example would have to be barbatus  danny glover   at one point  you can even see the pores on his face  although  i doubt ants have pores    do they    barbatus also has a touching but rather gruesome scene as he has his final words with z without a body  young kids may be disturbed by the site of a dismembered head  but a good deal of humor is derived  more appropriate for adults  of course   disneys a bugs life looks good  but i dont know if they will be able to best dreamworks newest animated feature in terms of animation  if not  then dreamworks will have done something no other studio could do  go head to head with the big mouse  and knock him down  yes  anastasia was good  but not nearly as good as even the worst of disney   vocal talent is always essential to an animated feature  and antz has one of the best lineups seen since toy story  in fact  it far exceeds that one  woody allen has always been funny  but here he transcends most of what hes done in the past few years  without a body  his comic timing is the most noticeable thing  in fact  im pretty sure that the writers let him improvise a lot of his lines  sharon stone as bala shows off some of her comic ability  though for the most part  stone works best as a dramatic actress  sylvester stallone  teamed up with stone once again  is beginning to solidify his statement that he wants to be an actor  not a typecast action star  after a snub at the oscars last year  stallone is proving himself as the serious  or comedic  as illustrated here  actor that he is  gene hackman is superb as the grufftalking general  almost doing another take on his crimson tide persona  christopher walkin is probably more noticed by his voice  and so many people will remember him from such hits as batman returns  anne bancroft has a minimal role  but shes effective nonetheless  danny glover has a small role  but he does a very  very good job  dan aykroyd and jane curtin also lend their voices as two lovesick  eurotrash beesboth are very unrecognizable  especially aykroyd  jennifer lopez plays a worker ant who falls in love with weaver  although most people wont recognize her voice either  many people will recognize grant shauds voice as the foreman  he played miles on the tv show murphy brown  this is definitely a huge cast with some highprofile names  and it will definitely help its grosses  of course  you can probably tell where a lot of the 60 million budget went to  also  directors eric darnell and lawrence guterman are relative newcomers  though guterman did direct a 1994 feature  headless    but both show an incredible talent for this type of a picture  tense at times  and very funny throughout  the two hold this film together like professionals  the screenplay by todd alcott and chris weitz is quite simple in plot  but it contains a lot of subtlety that makes the film more suitable for adults  kids will delight in the animation  while parents can laugh heartily at the humor  most of it will go over young childrens heads  does that mean you shouldnt take kids to see it  not at all  they will have a lot of fun watching this one  what is great is the themes that are given to us  part social commentary  part romance story  and part moral drama  antz gives everyone something to talk about  whether it be the animation  or the discussions of individualism and community  thankfully  its not subtle in either aspects  antz is rated pg for mild language and some intense action  sometimes the language can be pushing the limits for a family movie  but the violence is what should keep kids at home  the battle scene has ants melting in acid  and bugs being speared to death  and the magnifying scene shows an ant disintegrate in the beam of sunlight  but other than that  and some sexual innuendos   its a perfect choice for some wholesome fun at the theaters  i doubt many children will understand the sexual innuendos unless they are old enough  but its still advisable to leave really young children at home  have i confused you enough  if you do take your kids  i recommend seeing the film with them  because more than likely  youll enjoy it the most  
pos	thats the question i asked myself when venturing nervously into  the wedding singer   the latest film to star the saturday night live alumnus  does he draw laughs from his sad  puppy dog expression and donthatemeforbeingasimpleton observations  or do fans giggle when he screams at the top of his lungs at people  or is it just the fact that he sings songs with silly lyrics that bowl audiences over  well  theres a little bit of all of that in  the wedding singer  and while i exited the theater still not one hundred percent sure of mr  sandlers thing  i did have a surprisingly good time  thats because  in a nutshell   the wedding singer  is one of the sweetest movies youre ever likely to come across  thats right  sweet  the humor in the film runs the gamut from dumb to mildly amusing to laughoutloud hysterical but the tone  well  its just lovely  i have to admit i was halfexpecting farting armpit humor  gratuitous nudity  superfluous  cloying subplots  and some nasty  unnecessary violence  instead  well  ive said it before  sweet  the year is 1985 and sandler plays robbie hart  the eponymous wedding singer  a job aspiring rock stars often settle for  when robbies fianc  e dumps him at his own altar  robbie gets depressed and turns to a plucky waitress called julia  drew barrymore  who has some problems of her own  shes marrying a hunky junk bonds dealer who  unbeknownst to her  isnt that big on monogamy   it isnt giving anything away to say that robbie and julia fall in love  aww    sandler and barrymore are a good match and theyre assisted by some terrific cameo appearances  including steve buscemi and jon lovitz  whose individual scenes are perhaps the funniest in the film  writer tim herlihy  with uncredited assistance from carrie fisher  keeps the story bubbling along to its predictable conclusion  it doesnt all work but its handled with such lightheartedness that robbie and julia coming together generates more smiles than groans  herlihy and director frank coraci have done a great job of recreating the sights  sounds  and affectations of the 1980s  the soundtrackan everpresent force in the filmis packed with walltowall hits of the period  new wave upon new wave of songs from billy idols  white wedding  to the smiths  how soon is now   to culture clubs  do you really want to hurt me   the mix of music and fashion would make  the wedding singer  a great double feature with  boogie nights   if you grew up listening to the cure and a flock of seagulls and the psychedelic furs  then  the wedding singer  is bound to put a nostalgic hop in your stride  if youre a fan of the lovable  laughable adam sandler  well    lets just say that  the wedding singer  might well be the only film in recent memory to make  me  want to rent  happy gilmore   
pos	jarvis cocker of pulp once said that he wrote common people after noticing mike leigh boxsets on the video shelves  he had a feeling that economic deprivation was becoming a tourist experience for the welloff  maybe its a classic case of displacement  its easier to see jarvis own lyrics  obsessed with acrylic and wood chip on the wall  as a fetishization of lowlife  rather than leighs films  but its worth being reminded that drab interiors and a couple of workingclass characters dont make for a guarantee of authenticity  let alone a good film  its the triumph of secrets  lies  then  that it goes beyond gestures of sympathy for the common people into a probing of just what it means to seek authenticity and honesty in everyday lives  following her adopted mothers funeral  hortense  a young black optometrist  sets out to find her birth mother  and is disturbed to find out that she is white  it is cynthia  a factory worker who lives in a shabby house with her perpetually moody daughter roxanne  cynthias younger brother maurice is a successful photographer who has not seen his sister for ages  largely because of his wifes animosity towards her  hortense calls up cynthia  who initially breaks down in tears and refuses to see her  but their mutually suspicious meeting gives way to a warm friendship eventually  cynthia invites hortense to come along to a party  which maurice is hosting    secrets  lies has a simple enough theme at its heart  as one character puts it   best to tell the truth  isnt it  that way nobody gets hurt    but if the film delivers much more than a trite message  its because we are also shown how hard it can be to face up to ugly truths  even while the evasions and unspoken grievances slowly choke us  hence  cynthias difficulty with acknowledging  first to herself  then to others  that hortense is her daughter  one of her first reactions to seeing hortense is a sincere denial that she has ever  been with a black man   before a longsuppressed memory seizes her  at the party  cynthias pretense that hortense is her factory coworker leads her to ever more convoluted lies  as agonizing as they are funny  little lies seep into every corner  like maurice pretending that hes  just dropping by  when he visits cynthia after much deliberation  maurices job as a photographer gives the film opportunities for side comments on the main theme  a sadlooking bride that maurice coaxes to smile  a couple who pose awkwardly with a prominent wedding ring and argue about his spectacles  one of the most startling images is of a beautiful woman with large scars on her face  she says she needs the photo to look  as bad as possible  to collect insurance money  yet the short scene leaves you wondering about what untold story lies behind the scars  there are occasionally hilarious moments  as when cynthia attempts to give her daughter some unwelcome advice on contraception   ive got a dutch cap floating about somewhere upstairs   or when cynthia stares at her own rather pedestrian legs and tells roxanne   if youve got it  flaunt it  is what i say   as played by brenda blethyn  cynthia comes close to being a caricature  with her nervous  somewhat disconnected way of talking  but shes really just right for the role of someone who inspires sympathy and yet strains the tolerance of those around her  precisely because shes so needy of love  perhaps  indeed  the whole cast gives warmly rounded  detailed performances  the script was developed partly through improvisations  and the fusion of cast  script and director shows best in the party scene  seemingly everyone is talking at the same time  and yet many subtle observations are being made throughout  in a very different way  but also using a long single shot  the scene of hortense and cynthias first meeting in a lonely caf8a achieves a touching intensity  all the more for their reticence and unspoken feelings  the films climax  with all the secrets and lies finally spilled out in ibsenesque revelations  and everybody hugging each other  is the one thing that seems false about this film  however  its a film that truly earns its happy ending after the misery and repression of the characters lives  when cynthia says near the end  this is the life  innit   you get the sense that  following the cynicism of his last film naked  leigh has rediscovered that life can be sweet after all  without comforting illusions  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
pos	richard linklaters  slacker   made in 1991 for a budget of only 23  000  immerses itself in the twentysomething  collegetown culture of austin  texas  most of these characters are either unemployed or work jobs that are apparently too menial to be worth mentioning  their lifestyle is a sort of passive resistance to the idea that people should go out and actively pursue a career after graduation  they seem content to sit around spouting off about the inadequacy of american democracy  the pervasiveness of slave morality  the subtle messages in pop culture  and such  ask them what theyve been doing lately  and theyll more likely than not reply   oh  you know  just hanging out   linklater uses an interesting technique to examine these characters  the camera follows one person for a few minutes  then someone else walks by and the camera follows that person  who walks into a diner just as another person is walking out the door     its certainly a lot of fun listening to these characters talk  some of them are clearly very intelligent and have some genuinely insightful ideas  some of them are just plain weird  and some of them think their ideas are a lot more profound than they really are  the opening monologue  delivered by linklater himself to a taxi driver  tosses around ideas about alternate realities that nicely set up the meandering structure of the film  other characters along the way offer observations about everything from dating relationships to the history of anarchist philosophy  while groups of pseudointellectuals kick around ideas about the nobility of sitting around and doing nothing or the subtle briberybased morality in  scoobydoo   for the most part  however  the best moments are the ones involving the slightly unhinged types  near the beginning  a paranoid man follows a pedestrian for several blocks  warning him about government conspiracies involving everything from global warming to secret colonization of mars  another man seems to be collecting televisions  keeping at least fifteen sets running at the same time and playing tapes of a graduate student who recorded himself having a nervous breakdown and destroying the camera  and in a scene that drew a big laugh from everyone present when i saw the film  a man tries to achieve closure after a failed relationship by reciting poetry on a bridge and then throwing a typewriter into the creek below  the only problem with  slacker  is that it starts to run out of steam towards the end  since linklater only spends a few minutes with each character  the introduction of the new characters gets repetitive after a while  there are only so many times you can hear   hey  whats going on    not much  what are you up to    nothing really  just hanging around   before it gets on your nerves  the film might well have benefited from a slightly slower pace and a little bit more characterization  and the dialogue in the second half of the film is by and large not quite as interesting as that in the first half  a jfk buff  for example  seems like a pale imitation of the previous conspiracy theorist  and many of the characters just generally arent as weird or unique  instead of depicting a city populated by mostly normal people and then showing us the strangeness that we might not have noticed at first  linklater shows us the oddballs first  then stops and reminds us that ordinary people live there too   slacker  is a good film and a wonderfully offbeat and entertaining comedy  whatever its flaws  and its status as a cult classic is welldeserved  i just cant help but think it might have been even better if linklater had slowed down a little bit and filmed these scenes in reverse order  
pos	 a breed apart  casts rutger hauer as a crazy  birdloving recluse who picks his feathered friends over kathleen turner  a bit hard to swallow  thats only the first of many improbabilities in this film  hauer stars as a man obsessed with keeping the birds on his island safe  while boothe plays a guy hired to steal a couple of rare eagle eggs by a rich egg collector  turner is the woman caught between the two men   a breed apart  isnt a bad movie  exactly  indeed  i found myself rooting for both the hauer and boothe characters  even though their goals couldnt be more different  the problem with the film is that there are just too many inconsistencies  for example  early on in the film  hauer physically assaults two drunken rednecks shooting at  his  birds  later on  the rednecks come back for revenge with four other people  and hauer kills a few of them  i have a tough time believing that the police wouldnt get involved at that point  another problem is the silly lovetriangle that develops  i didnt care one way or the other who ended up with turner  i was more interested in finding out which of the two men would be victorious in their respective missions  however  despite this uninteresting subplot  turner did manage to give a great performance as the woman who reminds the two men that sometimes theres more to life than money and birds  as for hauer  hes an actor ive always admired  he has a penchant for picking strange and unusual characters  and this one is no exception  hes frequently seen riding around his island on a white horse  wearing pirates clothing  and holstering a crossbow  despite all his eccentric mannerisms  though  hauer always manages to let the human side of his character shine through  for example  theres a scene in which he barks at turner and her son because they came onto his island a day early  he comes off as crazy loner in that scene  but a few minutes later  he is apologizing to turner  and we believe his intentions  soon after  we find out hes a vietnam vet  and his actions become fairly clear to us   a breed apart  isnt a great movie by any means  but it does contain good performances by all three leads  and its worth seeing for that reason alone  
pos	titanic is so close to being the perfect movie its upsetting that it isnt  the film  which cost 200 million to make and could of put 20th century fox into a lot of finicial trouble if it sunk  pun intended  is a labour of love for cameron  who wrote and directed the film  we all know that big budget dosent mean great film  see waterworld  1995   but titanic is far superior to kevin costners waterlogged epic  but sadly  titanic just misses the mark of masterpiece  although it is one of camerons best films  the film starts with present day explorers searching the runied titanic  they find a safe  and inside a picture of a woman  the woman in the picture  an old winslet  tells the explorers that the picture is of her  the explorers invite her over  and she then tells her story of titanic  in the flashback  dicaprio plays poor boy jack dawson  who  after winning a poker game  wins two tickets to board the grand ship titanic  leaving liverpool to go to america  also boarding the ship is rich woman rose dewitt bukater  winslet  who is being forced into a marriage with a man she dosent love at all  cal hockley  zane  so her family can remain rich  she nearly commits suicide on the ship  but jack comes to the rescue  saves rose  they fall in love  and cal gets jealous and eventually tries to kill them  oh yeah  and the ship sinks  and that is the main problem with the film  and which stops it from being a work of genius  the story and script  both by cameron  are both weak  the story is full of cliched characters   the creepy man who the nice girl has to marry  the poor boy with heart  the stuckup mother  and poor dialogue  the script consists of lots of injokes of how the boat wont sink  and most of the dialogue is pretty basic  its a shame really  as the audience does have to sit through 3 hours of this film  without good dialogue  a film could become a very long  very boring film  like camerons own terminator 2  1992  but  luckily  there are some redeeming features that make the story and dialogue problems just disappear  firstly  theres camerons direction  there are some great sweeping shots of the titanic  and some clever fades between the flashback titanic and the ruined titanic  but the scenes cameron directs especially well are the disaster scenes at the end  there is a lot of mayhem and panic  all done very well by cameron  its a scary sight  watching bodies fall from great heights into the watery depths below  thanks to camerons direction  then  the audiences attention is held for the full 3 hours 15 minutes  to support the directing are the excellent cast  working very well with their underwritten characters  dicaprio is good  although he only looks 1617 years old  his performance of a over excitiable  yet also well mannered boy is excellent  and he also has some funny lines  winslet is great also  and her transistion from a well mannered rich girl to a rebelous young adult is pretty smooth  zane is deliciously evil as cal  saying every line with a sneer and a flicker of the eye lash  the audience really does come to hate him  he may be playing the same character he plays in every film hes in  like dead calm  1988  but he does it really  really well  also worthy of note is kathy bates  edward scissorhands  1990  as a loud mouthed american  finally  the icing on the great things cake are the special effects  cameron is a whiz with effects  just watch aliens  1988   terminator 2 and true lies  1994  and they are used very well throughout  the sweeps of the ships are awesome  although digital domain  who did the effects  cannot animate human movement too well  the humans seem to move to smoothly  theres just something odd about them  you can tell that they have been animated on a computer  of course  the ship sinking scenes are awesome  with bodies flying all over the place  and the scene where the ship splits in half has to be seen to be believed  titanic is one of the only films where effects have reinforced the film  titanic  then  is a wonder of directing  acting and cgi  but not writing and story  again  like most of camerons films  the editing is loose  cameron edits himself   and the film could of come in under three hours with a few more cuts  titanic  then  although not the godfather of movies it could of been  is a wonderful attempt at creating a work of genius  enjoyable  scary  and even sad  titanic is a film cinema was invented for  filling the screen with incredible images  and assaulting the ears with awesome sound  a superb film  but sadly not perfect  overall rating  
pos	on seeing the outrageous previews for bulworth one wonders what plot could possibly allow beatty get away with making those statements  in case you missed it  warren beatty plays a politician on the campaign trail  he says to a black congregation     if you cant cut down on malt liquor and chicken wings and get behind someone other than a running back who stabs his wife  youre never gonna get rid of me    well  there is such a plot  and it works very well in this comedy  beatty plays jay billington bulworth  a longtime democratic senator from california  the movie opens on a painfully repetitious montage of bulworths latest commercials condemning affirmative action  the montage is ironically intercut with pictures of martin luther king and bulworth in his youth working with jack kennedy  when we finally lay eyes on bulworth he is morosely weeping in front of his tv  having gone without food or sleep for days  his campaign is entering the final weekend before the primaries but his depression has sunk in too far for him to care  first he calls a lobbyist from the insurance industry to get a bribe  a 10 million life insurance policy in his daughters name  then he calls an associate to arrange for his own assassination  his assistant murphy  oliver platt  is oblivious to bulworths suicidal state and drags him to his speaking engagements  bulworth halfheartedly reads his speech at an africanamerican church  then takes questions from the audience  he is hit hard with questions about his voting record  he had promised money to help rebuild the community after the riots  and it hasnt shown up  since hes a dead man anyway  he figures hell answer truthfully  he and bill clinton and newt gingrich came to l  a  for the photo opportunity  they made some promises that improved their public image for a while  and then counted on the media and the public to eventually forget about the promises they made  the shock and outrage from the congregation grows  the questions keep coming  and he keeps shooting back honest  if ugly  answers   before i go further  id like to make a distinction that the denver post failed to make  and that is that characterizing africanamericans as maltliquor drinking o  j  fans is not part of bulworths  truth   that line is in the trailers but it should not be praised like the other political confessions he makes in the movie  when the critics praise beatty for speaking the truth about politics  this line is not what theyre talking about   the experience is liberating  with nothing left to lose  bulworth is no longer restricted to burping generic platitudes out of both sides of his mouth  he can say whatever he wants because hes going to be dead anyway  why not tell the people the truth about being a sleazy politician  that he is bought and paid for by lobbyists  and that racism among the populace protects politicians from being the target of charges of classism  bulworths candor wins him three volunteers from the church  one of whom  nikki  halle barry   he gets a crush on  he feels so good afterwards that he actually eats something  chicken wings  appropriately enough  bulworth shows up late for his meeting with some movie studio executives  when one of them asks where he stands on government regulation of movie and tv ratings  bulworth drifts to the topic of the quality of filmed entertainment  with so much money and so many talented people working so hard  he wonders  why cant hollywood make a quality product   you go  warren   when they become indignant and ask why hes talking to them if he has such a low opinion of their product  he callously admits that its because they are rich jews  that night he drops the three africanamerican volunteers at their nightclub  and he decides to go in with them  he stays up all night drinking  smoking pot  dancing  falling in love with nikki  and learning to scratch turntables and rap  the next day  he shuns his prepared speech and instead raps to the suitandtie fundraisers  from then on  at all of his political appearances  he raps his political truth  his rap is not bad for a middleaged white guy  hes not very good  but it is his first try and at least hes not embarrassingly bad  his lobbyists are not amused  but the rest of his constituency seems to like the new bulworth  eventually  the movies plot  remember he hired a hit man   overtakes the politics  which is too bad  screen time is spent with bulworth trying to cancel the request for his assassination while the hit man seems to be closing in on him  there are even a few gratuitous chase scenes  bulworth fleeing his killer  these scenes may have been necessary to keep the events of the film moving along  but it distracted and detracted from bulworths political ranting  which was much more interesting than the everpresent  obviouslooking assassin  still  most of the movie is original and very enjoyable  and beatty deserves most of credit for bringing it to the screen  as the story and screen writer  he came up first with a good structure  then with good dialogue to back it up  jeremy pikser cowrote the screenplay   as an actor  he was able to convincingly portray bulworths depression  then liberation and rebirth  as a producer  there were four others  he was able to keep the movie free from hollywoods indulgent formulas  except for those inexcusable chase scenes   someone else probably could have directed  but since he was there anyway  what the heck  its too bad that there arent more movies like this around  movies that tackle political corruption in a way that challenges viewers to pay more attention to real politics  after all  much of the inspiration for bulworth is straight out of the news  just a little perception and insight and you could write your own bulworth rants  just dont expect to be popular with the insurance companies  
pos	american pie acknowledges a cold  hard fact that most movies dont  it is very difficult to get laid  its four virgin heroes are jim  biggs   a chronic masturbator  kev  nicholas   who desperately wants to deflower his girlfriend  reid   oz  klein   a lacrosse player whose approach requires some fine tuning  and finch  eddie kaye thomas   a germphobe  his crass nickname is hilarious  but i wont spoil it here  who pays a classmate to spread rumours about the size of his member  jim  kev  oz and finch attend a high school in suburban michigan full of so many impossibly beautiful women its no wonder theyre horny all the time  after a party at their studly friend stiflers  seann william scott  in the films sharpest performance  house leaves them sexually unsatisfied  the quartet make a pact  to  lose it  by graduationspecifically  prom night  which is only a few weeks away  american pie is in the tradition of bachelor party or revenge of the nerds  almost every conversation these characters have revolves around makin whoopee  all women are there to be ogled   alyson hannigans perky music student is the only memorable female of the bunch   situations abound that defy logic only to arouse andor amuse its core audience  adolescent boys   to arouse  nadias  shannon elizabeth  internet stripteasean unexpectedly raucous  and guiltily pleasurable  sequence  to amuse  jims lusty encounter with a hot apple pie   what differentiates american pie from those dirty eighties comedies  aside from a very nineties obsession with bodily fluids   is a cast thats light years more appealing than that of  say  just one of the guys  two more standouts  klein and  sctv  s eugene levy  klein plays a kindhearted athlete for the second time in a row  after alexander paynes underappreciated election  i hope to see more of this warm actor with the disarmingly honest face very soon  levys is the most crowdpleasing performance  and indeed  its nice to see him back on the big screen in a role that makes wonderful use of that expressive brow  american pie also wants to emulate the teen flicks your parents would let you watch growing up  it skillfully employs a broad mix of pop tunes  much like john hughes movies did  and even pays homage to the breakfast club a couple of times  most evidently when the prom band covers simple minds  dont you  forget about me    the picture ultimately has a healthy  if obligatory  attitude towards safe sexeven at their most libidinous  american pies protagonists first whip out a condom  the filmmakers prove that socially responsible raunch is possible  for its familiarity and for its charming leads  i recommend american pie  but the buzz on this film had me expecting something    fresher  as far as the new teen cinema goes  its at the top of the heap   dont say i didnt warn you about the party scene  
pos	the 1998 summer movie season is still in its infancy  but after diasappointing films such as  godzilla  and  fear and loathing in las vegas   it would be nice to see a really good film  but i doubt you could have expected this  the truman show is one of the most unique films i have ever seen  and it deserves a spot on the  decades best  list  there is no way to isolate any single component of this picture and proclaim   yes  thats what makes this film great   the blend of peter weirs masterful  and in many ways brilliant  direction  peter bizious stunning photography and jim carreys performance is what makes this film work so fantastically  there is something strangely beautiful about every shot in the truman show  it may be the use of color or the placement of characters in the frame  but everything about this film looks intentional and perfect  carrey has made a very wise choice  by playing mildmannered truman burbank  he allows himself enough room to be comical  and therefore not alienating his true fans  while still showing a vulnerable and human side  that is a side which has been missing from nearly every major character he has played in his numerous commercial successes  truman burbank was born to an audience of millions  he was chosen before birth to be the focus of a 24 hour television show  everything in his environment is controlled by a team of technicians  led by the shows director  christof  played by ed harris   everyone in trumans life is an actor or an extra  they are all being watched by millions of people around the globe  people who can tune in at any time of the day to see what is happening in trumans life  but he is the only person that is not aware of it  the classification of the truman show may be tricky  the audience reacted to many of trumans revelations with laughter  i did not laugh much during the film because i was so emotionally wrapped up with the character  the things that made the audience laugh gave me glassy eyes  because what was happening to him  indeed what had been done to him his whole life was wrong  so is this going to end up labeled as a comedy  a drama  it really depends on the audience  but to me  the truman show was a touching  sad tale about the extents to which a corporation will go to exploit human life for the entertainment of others  but above all else  the truman show was a stunningly beautiful picture with humor  heart and scary realism  oscar predictions in june are pointless  but if the truman show had been released on schedule in late fall or winter of 1997  as originally planned  james cameron would be oscarless  
pos	one way of telling if a film is good or not is by the length  if a film is only 90 minutes  but feels like 300 minutes  then its crap  but if a film last 2 12 hours  and feels like 90 minutes  then its excellent  boogie nights falls into the latter catagory  the director  anderson  delivers a funny  hip  yet sometimes violent film  which flies along  mark whalberg  a  k  a marky mark  plays eddie adams  a seventeen year old with a certain gift in the midriff area  jack horner  reynolds  is a adult film director  who decides that eddie would be great in the adult movie business  after running away from home  eddie joins jack  changes his name to dirk diggler  and starts making erotic movies  in the movie business  dirk meets a whole load of characters  which the film introduces very quickly and slickly  such as scotty  phillip seymour hoffman   rollergirl  graham  amber  moore  and floyd  phillip baker hall   and little bill  william h  macy  all the characters are well written  well played  and the audience gets to know them pretty well  thanks to the excellent script  we learn about ambers grief about not being able to see her child due to a divorce  rollergirls hard time at school  and little bills wife  who sleeps with everyone except her husband  but the best thing about the excellent boogie nights is paul andersons direction and writing  the direction is fast  thrilling  and never holds up  there are some great shots  some lovely steadiocam and handheld camera sequences  and lots of other neat directional touches  the writing is fabulous  with some intelligent dialogue  some funny dialogue  but none of the dialogue is crap  like most hollywood films  such as the lost world  jurassic park  1997   or tommorow never dies  1997    boogie nights really is a spectacular feat of direction and writing  on par  and sometimes betters  quentin tarantinos films resevoir dogs  1992  and pulp fiction  1994  the soundtrack is also excellent  like american graffiti  1973   the film features some great old songs on the soundtrack  which heightens the atmosphere  and gives the film an extra lift  also  the costumes are great  the clothes really do look like what people wore in the seventies and eighties  the film  although excellent  does have some flaws  firstly  wahlberg  although excellent  cannot do highly scenes which require him to be angry  in both scenes where he has to act angry  his acting is so off  the scenes tension and anger is lost  but the rest of the cast are excellent  burt reynolds is brilliant  julianne moore shows real emotion  and william h  macy is great aswell  but he always is   another flaw with the film  though  is that the ending seems a bit tacked on  it seems anderson saw the film was going on a bit  and needed to wrap up quickly  its a shame  really  as the rest of the film is perfectly paced  but theyre small niggles really  boogie nights is an excellent film  superb directing  writing  acting and music  all combine to make one spectacular film  whatever you do  do not miss out on boogie nights  
pos	its ironic that the best films in cinema history are invariably the original directors cut of the film  films such as aliens  the abyss  the wild bunch  blade runner  and terminator 2 are all prime examples of a filmmakers integrity  later chopped up or mucked with by the studio  the advent of the dvd format has provided a more accessible way to get these original cuts to the public and provide to film freaks like myself the ability to become further enraptured by the extension of such classic films  the dvd release of the original international version of luc bessons 1995 masterpiece the professional  which is known as l  on around the world  is a prime example of how a good film can become an instant classic as a directors cut  for years  i have heard of an  international  version available only in laserdisc format  which has eluded me for years  i even bought a laserdisc player from my uncle don for 100 bucks just to watch certain directors cuts  including l  on  but after countless searches in laserdisc stores  i could never find it  until now  the film follows the story of l  on  played by jean reno  a professional hit man for an italian mob crew run by danny aiello  he lives next door to a ferociously independent 12yearold girl named mathilda  played by then newcomer natalie portman  whose father is involved in drugs and crooked cops  one day  a crew of the cops  lead by gary oldman in an overthetop performance  kills her entire family while mathilda is out buying groceries  taking pity on her  l  on hides her in his apartment when she returns to save her life  mathilda learns of l  ons hit man profession and decides to follow in l  ons footsteps as a  cleaner   she then falls in love with him and manages to reawaken emotions within l  on he has kept locked away as part of his profession  at this point  the differences in the american version and the international version really kick in  the international version contains an additional 24 minutes of footage that pertains directly to the relationship of l  on and mathilda  footage that american censors deemed  too explicit   i assume that american censors feel that defining character development is too much for american audiences to handle  the best part of this extra footage is that gives better understanding of both mathildas and l  ons motivations pertaining to later actions involving oldman and his crew of bad cops  theres even a previously unseen cameo by the great french actor jeanhugues anglade  star of queen margot  bessons la femme nikita  and killing zoe  with these additional scenes replaced  l  on and matildas relationship brings you emotionally closer to the film and draws stronger bonds between the characters that were murky in the american version  the most ironic thing about the international version of the film is that with the inclusion of the missing scenes  the film becomes primarily a heavy  emotional drama punctuated with big action scenes at the beginning and the end of the film  the film betters reflects the serious drama of french cinema but is laced with pieces reflecting the brutality of american cinema  my advice to everyone out there is to throw away your copy of the professional  throw down twenty bucks  and pick up this newly restored cinematic masterpiece  directorwriter  luc besson producer  luc besson  claude besson starring  jean reno  natalie portman  gary oldman  danny aiello 
pos	while it was part of former yugoslavia  my country  croatia  used to be almost completely ignored by western films in general  words  croatia  and  croatians  were unheard  even in movies whose plots actually took place on croatian locations  the rare exception was the dogs of war  1980 adaptation of frederick forsyths bestselling novel  yet that rare occasion only added insult to the injury  by mentioning croatians in most unflattering context  in a single line they are referred as a bunch of mean people  probably terrorists  who happen to remove parts of arm dealers stomachs when they are unsatisfied with the quality of merchandise  same line also illustrates the milieu where the movie takes place  dark and violent world of shady international deals with the blurred boundaries between business  politics and crime  the movie protagonist  shannon  christopher walken  is a mercenary who spent the best years of his life fighting numerous little wars all over the globe  his latest job is a intelligence mission for powerful mining corporation that demands information about political climate in west african nation of zangaro  shannon arrives in that country only to find oppressive regime of president kimba  bloodthirsty madman whose brutality crushed any opposition and scared almost any westerners away  after being arrested and tortured by kimbas secret police  shannon leaves country with a help of british journalist north  colin blakely   upon return  he is approached by mining company again  but this time they want him to plan and execute the coup detat against kimba  shannon reluctantly agrees and assembles small group of his surviving mercenary friends who begin meticulous preparation for another small war  thing that separates the dogs of war from conventional action movies  especially those made in 1980s  is its authenticity  almost close to documentary  it shouldnt surprise anyone  because the author of the novel  frederick forsyth  made reputation by blending fiction with real life  thus creating interesting  exciting yet very believable plots for his books  those plots were also responsible for few very successful 1970s thrillers  and one of them  zinnemmans the day of the jackal  is now considered a classic in that genre  this one deals with soldiers of fortune  ancient tradition that was resurrected in great turmoil of 1960s and 1970s and filled the void left by vanishing colonial empires  unlike wild geese  that used it as a pretext for conventional action adventure  script by george malko and gary de vore  author whose death last year became real life mystery  is serious  and instead of action puts emphasis on characters and prosaic details of their work  the movie doesnt try to romanticise the mercenary profession nor glorify mercenaries as some kind of superheroes  they are simply shown as deadly yet expendable tool of powerful forces with questionable agenda  christopher walken played in many movies  yet very rarely we can see him in a leading role  his performance in this film perhaps isnt breathtaking  yet adequate  his notoriously expressionless face is perfect illustration of the disillusioned  world weary man whose alienation from the  normal  way of life becomes complete and only remaining ideal is loyalty to the shrinking circle of friends  although the movie doesnt lack capable actors  their roles are miniature compared with walkens  and only colin blakely as cynical reporter has opportunity to portray his character  however  those who look familiar faces would find them plenty in the dogs of war  tom berenger  paul freeman  jo beth williams  victoria tennant  in brief cameo   and biggest surprise is ed oneill  of married with children fame  as shannons reluctant colleague  this was the first major production for john irvin  and it shows why he earned the reputation of capable  yet second class director  with the good script he can make very good movie  with the bad script he can make real mess  luckily  the dogs of war had a good script  irvins direction was very ascetic and it gave the movie almost documentary feel  the only distraction is dramatic music of geoffrey burgon  used on the wrong places  in the final battle scene  where we can see mercenaries at work  irvin shows us that modern warfare means superior firepower and tactics  unlike 1980s ramboesque fantasies that rely on macho superheroes  unfortunately  by making battle realistic irvin made it somewhat less attractive and his sloppy editing also didnt help  but  despite those shortcomings  this movie remains interesting and rare combination of action thriller and gritty  realistic political drama  
pos	the happy bastards quick movie review analyze this how does one do a comedy focused on the mob  well  a few years ago  there was a sly little comedy called the freshman  which had marlon brando doing a romp of a sendup of his famous don corleone character and  recently  the utterly stupid  in a bad way  movie mafia  failed to really get the joke  this time around  however  warner bros  may have gotten it right with analyze this  a movie that hits its targets more than it misses    and for plenty of reasons  the story goes like this  a mobster  robert deniro  finds himself receiving several panic attacks as of late  fueled by the stress of an upcoming mobster meeting and a neardeath following a driveby shooting  its these attacks that prompt him to hire a psychiatrist  billy crystal  whos mostly reluctant to take the mobsters case for two reasons  first  of course  hes a mobster  but secondly  hes trying to get married and enjoy a quiet honeymoon with his wife  lisa kudrow  and kid  and  of course  he cant rest worth for a moment because the mobsters goons are always needing the shrink for something  be it a quick consultation or dream analyzation  fortunately  the movie is played out for plenty of laughs  director harold ramis  who also helmed the comedy multiplicity  which wasnt half bad  keeps the tone peppy and light  even if its sometimes sprinkled by slight dramatic moments  shootings cant always be taken for laughs  you know   deniro does some of his finest comic work since the king of comedy  giving off a somewhat similar performance to his role in goodfellas  but with a bit of a lighter heart   a scene where he tries to display his anger over the phone and fails miserably is hilarious   crystal plays an excellent straight man to deniros character  uplifting him from such bombs as fathers day and my giant  kudrow is also a hoot as crystals wifetobe  whos on the verge of a breakdown thanks to deniros presence  is the movie perfect  not really  thanks to a simplistic ending and some slightly wasted moments with a character portrayed by chazz palminteri  hes a comic actor  too  come on  give him some more    but it is an enjoyable romp that lets deniro do something different but same for a change  taking his dramatic act to a new field of comedy  kudos to crystal and kudrow for not just making it his show  either  line of the movie  crystal   when you said you needed family therapy  this is not the family i had in mind   
pos	this is a film about secrets  some that are innocent like those of a cute little farm girl  frances boyd  ashley   others that are between a married couple that is impacting their relationship  like the problems of infertility affecting this upwardly mobile couple  geoffrey gaines  stephen ramsey   the medical researcher working for a big corporation called fex and striving to get a patent for his experiment and become recognized in his field  and his artist wife  lillian  miriam healylouie   who reluctantly stands behind her husband suppressing her natural artistic tendencies in order to make the marriage work  and  still other secrets that have a greater implication for the world and are deadly in a political sense  of science carried out by the big corporations like it was a business run for the bottom line  receiving a summer grant to study  chemoelectric therapy   geoffrey and his wife are hoping that a summer spent away from the intensity of the big city will bring back the romance that is dwindling from their marriage and that the casualness of the country atmosphere will give them more time together  as their threeyear marriage has become shaky because he is more interested in his work than he is in her  he has slyly managed to keep his work as secretive as possible by locking himself in the lab  which is off limits to her  as he secretly goes about conducting experiments on rats and mice  convincing her that what he is doing is to benefit humanity with possible new treatments and cures to illnesses  his main argument is  that this is what the public wants  they dont want to hear about how some animals had to die because of these experiments  they just want the benefits of science  that he is depicted as a monster creating another monster  much like frankenstein was created  is the argument skewed by the director against his bad science  science as a business  as opposed to the good science  science that cares about the small farmer   which is represented by the handsome and almost perfect gentleman  alex vine  david   a young ecologist who chooses to work in the field  trying to get the farmers to go back to organic farming  he is hired by the university to monitor the dangers of pesticides and all the chemicals the farmer is almost forced to use to survive financially  as it is doing irreparable harm to him and the consumer because of all the health risks attached to this new way of farming  methods that have just come about in the last thirty years and are being pushed by the big companies to enhance their profit margins  the third view in all this is the artists  represented by lillian  who points out that the artists work is shown in public and scrutinized constantly   why shouldnt the same be true of the scientist   she argues that the artist is the watchdog for the public  questioning what is good or evil in society  something that bad science has completely ignored  geoffrey  impatient to get ahead with his research  feels bogged down by the bureaucrats in his firm who fail to provide him with the three chimps he needs to experiment on  as he contacts one of the companys higher ups to argue his case  but decides he cant wait any longer for their help  so he sets an animal trap in the countryside and catches chester  the gorgeous pet dog of frances  a dog that means so much to her and her family because he saved her life  while out in the field with the bloodied trapped dog already in the back seat of his car  he is spotted by alex and one of his coworkers  and nervously invites them to dinner with his wife  afraid that alex will spot what he is doing  as he rushes away from the area  in the dinner scene that was  unfortunately  flatly done  but was nevertheless the heart of the film  as all the main characters get a chance to speak out from the point of view they represent as they eat meat  a means of getting protein that the radical scientists have eschewed since they became so politically correct about everything  the scientists engage in a rational argument  highlighting their different points of view  while lillian reacts in an emotional way  siding mostly with davids view but coming at it from a much different angle  it was as if the actors were puppets on strings that the director controlled and they just spewed out their generalized philosophies  that the directors point of view is absolutely right  is beside the point  the point is that the characters lost their humanity and became onedimensional characters  geoffrey was likened to a hideous monster  alex vine was likened to his last name  the one who holds fast to the ground ensuring that the plant has stability  while lillian was likened to the muse of poetry and art  the inspiration for goodness and beauty  alex has been spending a lot of time together with lillian  as these two seem to share the same views and are physically attracted to each other  but when the time is ripe for an affair to take place between them  lillian changes her mind and decides not to go up to alexs apartment  geoffrey is already suspicious of alex and considers him an enemy  and the marriage seems to be coming apart and all his cunning tricks to possess her are no longer working  as it is now impossible to see any good in him and there becomes no reason why she would remain with him  the relationship has disintegrated way beyond the point of her just feeling lonely  the dog is discovered by alex and her in a deplorable state after geoffrey is seen by them electrically shocking it  and mercifully the dog dies  the only thing left for her to do is walk out of the marriage  but she also fails to respond to davids loving gesture for her to stay with him  instead opting to head back to the city  the farmer whose dog was tortured to death comes into the scientists lab and knocks him cold while he was in the middle of a phone conversation with one of the higherups who told him all the animals he needs are on the way  what is progress  what can one expect out of life  is the small farmer about to become extinct  the answers to these questions can best be answered by either good science or art  which are both closely related to the american natives vision of a world entrusted to mankind so that he can respect it and take care of it and enrich it with his creations to benefit mankind in a peaceful way  that this work fails to be subtle and polarizes opinions  leaving no room for deeper arguments  is the shame of this decent and smart film  that tried so hard to say what it felt it had to say but said it so loudly without trusting its audience to catch on to its message by not making everything seem so black and white  no telling said a lot about the harmful trends it sees science going in  it probably said too much and would have been better off if its vision was more poetical and less didactic  there is something about listening to a lecture that turns off the rebel in me  as i dont like being hit in the head with the truth but prefer to have it presented in the form that leads to inspiration or told metaphorically  that is not to say that i found the film without considerable merit  that inspite of its shortcomings  it was worth seeing because of its visual statements  though they were also not too subtle  they were at least effective in setting up the intense mood that the film needed to show that there is a mental war going on currently  of those who believe one way is right and others who differ with them  and that anyone who is neutral must be considered an enemy because of their indifference  the stakes in this ecological struggle are that high  perhaps the most powerful visual statement in the film  was the dead cow from pesticides shown in the opening scene  it was the image that lillian spent her time painting all summer and had the same affect for her as did the animal faces in picassos guernica had for him  both artists envisioned the horrors that man could do against the world  and represented this unspoken pain on the faces of the animals so that anyone who cares to really see what is going on  will not mistake which side of the fence he or she should be on  the pain that lillian feels  as she forgets about her desires to raise a family  and she stares at her painting of the cow and the song   make the world go away  blares out from the background  after she has learned that frances beautiful and loving dog has been brutalized by her monster of a husband  all in the name of science  had a raw power to it that personalizes the dangers of bad science  perhaps  the most pertinent question the film asks  requires an answer that must be resolved by the farmers and the consumers who are most caught in the changing world and its new way of doing business  as the question becomes  can science be happily married with art  
pos	this british import follows the  mis  adventures of a group of heroin crazed scottish youths  there is marc renton  who narrates   spud  the dimwitted one  sick boy  the sean connery obsessive   and begbee  the violence obsessive   powered by a top rate  but not top name soundtrack  iggy pop  sleeper  elastica  lou reed     the film follows renton who gets clean  gets back into heroin and gets clean again  some of the wit in this movie is sharp and pulp fictionesque  and some is just dumb  dumber gross  the bed sheets  and stupid  the bb gun  although the film starts out on a comic note  it takes a sharp term in the middle  and becomes almost depressing  the film is based on an irving welsh novel bearing the same title  i can honestly say that this is one of the best movies i have ever seen  it is an obscure gem that has been over shadowed in the us by such movies as mission impossible and id4  the film is hard to follow with the heavy accents of the actors  this is a very original film  as far as films go today  it definetly deserves multiple viewings  partly because of the slang and accents  jeremy dennison mr  orangecenturyinter  net 
pos	you may not have heard of lucas  or if you have  you might not think much of it  probably because it stars corey haim  or maybe because its about a little geek who collects insects  or maybe because it doesnt feature slick oneliners or the chart topping soundtrack albums that were almost a requirement for teen films in the 80s  however  you have been missing out on a true masterpeice  the best film of 1986  and the best film about adolescent life ever made  corey haim stars as lucas bligh  a tiny 14 year old with scruffy hair  thick glasses  and an interest in insects and other outdoor life  one day he stops by the tennis courts and sees what must be an angel to him  her name is maggie  a 16 year old who certainly is a beauty  with lovely red hair and a sweet  innocent complexion  maggie seems to be a little disturbed by this little kid watching her  but somehow he interests her  and soon they are talking and getting to know one another  they gradually become good friends  and spend the summer together doing various things  such as studying insects  namely locusts  who come out of hiding once every 17 years   playing tennis  and listening to a symphony orchestra through a manhole cover  lucas is obviously in love with maggie  and while she is charmed by him  its clear that she would never consider him anything more than a very good friend  this is not clear to lucas  however  he still beleives that maggie is his soulmate  and he dreads the impending start of school because he knows whats about to happen  we soon find out why in a painful scene where lucas is humiliated by the jocks during a pep rally  they throw him on stage  right in front of his beloved maggie  surprisingly  he turns the tables on the jocks with some clowning around  but he takes it too far  and is embarassed in front of the entire school  the next scene is brilliant  maggie follows lucas outside of the pep rally  she tries to talk to him as if nothing happened  he rails back against her  in a cruel unfair fashion  in lesser movies this wouldve turned into a confrontation between the two characters  but maggie is written smarter than that  she understands what lucas is feeling and knows exactly what to say to console him  next we are introduced to another great character named cappie  charlie sheen   he is a jock with a typical cheerleader girlfriend  whats interesting about him is that he sticks up for lucas and protects him from the other jocks  of course anyone with a brain can tell whats gonna happen next  cappie will cause conflict in maggie and lucas relationship  this begins in classic scene in the school laundry room when cappie and maggie are alone  shes been assigned to show him how to operate the washerdryer so he can clean his shirt  maggie is charmed by cappies tender undertsanding demeanor  not to mention his shirtless body  this scene is so delicate and sweet  but cappie still has a girlfriend  preventing either one from acting on their desires  desperately trying to puncture the tension  cappie begins to kick basketballs around the room  its not long before cappie does break up with his girlfriend  in the films only subpar scene   lucas finally figures out whats going on when he tries to pick maggie up for the dance  this causes him to take severe actions to prove himself to maggie and himself  such as try out for the football team  the last third of the film revolves around this attempt  while the idea seems cliched  the way it is executed is not  there are many surprises during the last half hour which lead to an ending so emotionally involving it should make the most heartless of cynics get choked up  dave grusins memorable score  played at the perfect moments  certainly helps  lucas is filled with great performances  forget everything you know about corey haim  back in 1986 he had talent  and that is proven here as he delivers a perfect fully 3dimensional performance filled with anger  humor  and pain  kerri green is very appealing as maggie  showing us why she cares about lucas so much and why he is so attracted to her  sheens cappie is almost too good to be true  but sheen makes him beleivable  especially when he explains the reason why he protects lucas  there are other wonderful minor characters such as ciro popittis ben  a friend of lucas  whose diminutive stature does not mean he will take crap from the jocks  also turning up in a few key scenes is winona ryder as rina  the girl who admires lucas from afar  when people talk about the great teen angst films of the 80s  you hear john hughes this and john hughes that  lucas seems to be lost among the crowd of his socalled classics  but hopefully  like with heathers and say anything  lucas can begin to find its own loyal following and help people realize there were more to the 80s than anthony michael hall and molly ringwald  it deserves more than that  but i dont want to be greedy  
pos	in arguably the most anticipated movie this century  george lucas has achieved a very mixed reaction to a sure blockbuster  despite the fact the script and plot is a bit of a let down  the entire movie on the whole can be considered a milestone in technical excellence  in the sound and special effects department  in terms of characters  by far the most outstanding and interesting is queen amidala  natalie portman   whose mature performance far exceeds her tender 14 years of age  she is one  hot babe who defines true  woman leadership  she not only has a presence  but knows how to take command of the situation and save her planet from ruination  no thanks to the jedi knights who although led by the force  lack leadership qualities in terms of thinking up a plan to do anything  the young obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor  who has a bad hair day in every scene  gets to kill a bad guy in the end  but lacks a love interest to make him a desirable sort of hero  in fact all the jedi knight are a bit asexual  there must be something about the force which makes them all hermits and loners  i mean it would be interesting to see yodas girlfriend for a change  if he has one  not much better is quigon jinn  liam neeson  who mostly broods  and has a better hair do than obiwan  but only to find the young anakin skywalker and make the biggest mistake of his life  also fascinating is george lucas  metoclorian theory  which claims that microorganisms live within our cells and tie us to the fabric of the universe  and it is the high concentrations of these organisms in an individual which make them particularly powerful in the force  more humerous are the claims to the immaculate conception of darth vader  no doubt a concept stolen from the christian faith  except there will be no christmas to celebrate the birth of this dark emissary of the force  overall an experience which is not to be missed because of the very fact that its predecessor almost command a viewing of this inferior successor  by all means not the pinnacle of the star wars phenomena but an adequate addition to the clan  watch out for the next one  it should be one steamy encounter between queen amidala and anakin skywalker  who i believe should be portrayed by  leonardo di caprio  
pos	felix  sami bouajila   the siege   lives a contented life with his boyfriend daniel  pierreloup rajot  in the little town of dieppe in northern france  when he is laid off from his job  after discovering the address of the father who abandoned him before he was born  he decides to journey to marseilles  in the south  to find the man he never met in  the adventures of felix   writersdirectors olivier ducastel and jacques martineau made their debut with the musical comedy  jeanne and the perfect guy   embracing that typically american genre  their second effort   the adventures of felix   once again borrows from america with a tale of a young man who hits the road to find himself  felix is happy with his life in dieppe  but when the ferry company he works for falls prey to the economics of the chunnel  he is out of a job and at loose ends  when he goes through his late mothers papers he learns that the father he never knew is living in marseilles  hundreds of miles away  felix makes the snap decision to journey to the south  puts together a supply of  cocktails  for his hiv virus  kisses daniel goodbye and heads off on foot  he refuses to use trains and wants to avoid big cities as he hitchhikes across france to find his destiny  along the way  a series of chance encounters with various strangers teaches felix that family is not always made up of blood relations  on the road  he witnesses a racerelated mugging that turns into murder and  frightened for his own safety  runs away without telling the police  following this harrowing experience  he has his first chance meeting that begins the unconscious construction of his ideal family  his journey brings him to rouen  and the films first title section   my little brother   where he meets jules  a young art student who becomes smitten with felix  they steal a car and develop a chaste  brotherly affection before felix must move on  he next meets elderly mathilde  patachou   in the chapter titled  my grandmother   and soon learns that she  too  has a fondness for the same tv soap opera that felix has grown addicted to  she wants him to stay with her  but he must continue on his way to find his father  in the weakest chapter of felixs road trip  titled  my cousin   he meets a railroad worker  philippe garziano  and has a brief sexual encounter before heading off  once again  toward marseilles  he next helps a stranded lady motorist  isabelle  ariane ascaride   and shags a ride with her and her three kids  each with a different daddy  in the sequence titled  my sister   he is torn by the inner turmoil of not going to the police about the murder he witnessed and isabelle comforts him just as a sister would  on the final leg of the journey titled  my father   he meets an older man  a fisherman  maurice benichou   who enlightens him about the real facts of life and family while they fly felixs kite  just like a father and son   the adventures of felix  has a number of things going for it as we follow felix on his journey of discovery  first and foremost is the charming performance by sami bouajila as felix  he is a likable guy  fighting his hiv with his doses of  cocktails   and lights up the screen as he makes the long walk  often with dance and song  to find his father and himself  as he encounters each member of his new family  promising each that he will send a postcard when he arrives at his final destination  he grows a little bit more spiritually and emotionally  bouajila does a terrific job holding center stage on the screen  the cast of characters making up felixs newfound family are nearly as charming as the star  each in their own way  patachou  especially  is wonderful as the grandma character and a kindred spirit to felix  ariane ascaride  along with her kids  gives a perf that really makes you think of her as the sister that the young man never had  only the  cousin  chapter lacks the emotional depth of the rest and feels like a perfunctory addition to felixs  family    the adventures of felix  does not reinvent the road movie  but it does provide a charismatic telling of a young mans journey to find himself and  to his surprise  his discovery is dramatically different than he expected at the beginning  it helps that cinematographer matthieu poirotdelpechs crisp lensing compliments the story perfectly as felix moves across the french countryside  i give it a b  
pos	i know that  funnest  isnt a word   fun  is a noun  and therefore cannot be conjugated like an adjective  but thats the word that came to me right after viewing  chicken run   no wonder  this is the kind of movie that reduces you to childish expressions  like  that was the funnest movie ive ever seen   so to hell with websters   chicken run  is one of the funnest movies ive seen in a while  i cant remember the last time ive seen anything funner  the chickens at tweedys farm are up to something  living in a concentration camplike atmosphere  they are led by one plucky hen called ginger  voice of julia sawalha  who continually comes up with plans for escape  and always gets caught  subsequently spending day after day in the coal box  one night  a brash american rooster flies in over the fence  calling himself rocky  mel gibson   famous flying rooster and circus performer  rocky promises to teach the chickens how to fly  and the situation grows more desperate as the nefarious mrs  tweedy  miranda richardson  decides to abandon the farms eggselling plan for a pieselling plan  she orders a huge piemaking machine  cackling   chickens go in  pies come out   what sort of pies  chicken pies  of course  codirector nick park and his studio  aardman animation  produced three oscarwinning short films   creature comforts    the wrong trousers   and  a close shave   the latter two were the second and third installments of a trilogy starring the delightful team wallace  gromit  a man and his dog famous for getting themselves into increasingly peculiar adventures  part of what made the  wallace  films brilliantly entertaining was parks uncanny ability to make an old story seem new   the wrong trousers   for example  pulled out a lot of old hitchcockian suspense tricks  and  a close shave  owed a great deal of inspiration to classic detective stories  but in the hands of park and his team  the stories felt fresh and inspired  and not the least bit contrived  now teaming with codirector peter lord  park has created a similar creature in  chicken run   the plot is largely lifted from  the great escape   watch for a quick reference to the ballbouncing scene   with some spielberginspired action sequences providing the excitement  thing is  the film doesnt feel like its been lifted from somewhere else   chicken run  feels fresh  alive  like nothing else ever done  part of it is the original idea  who in the world came up with the idea to make a prisonersofwar movie starring chickens  park and lord milk the incongruity for all its worth  the characters treat their situation as if it were dead serious  and to them  it is  but theyre  chickens   so its funny to us  another thing that helps  chicken run   and most of parks films  succeed is the animators subtle way of giving nods to the very films theyre cribbing  there are references to  the great escape   obviously  and  stalag 17   the chase sequence inside the chicken grinder parodies both  raiders of the lost ark  and  indiana jones and the temple of doom   theres even a nod to  the blues brothers   if you can believe it  and the filmmakers even get in a little lighthearted ribbing at the expense of their star voice actor  taking a couple of very subtle jabs at mel gibsons nationality and film history  the  braveheart  reference is a hoot if you catch it  when you consider just how fine a line resides between a funny parody and a redundant one   chicken run  is downright brilliant in its execution  consider this  since july of last year  ive seen dozens upon dozens of  blair witch project  parodies  on television  on the radio  and online  out of all those  maybe one or two were amusing  the rest tiresome  why  because once you got past the thought that  theyre parodying that blair witch movie   most of the parodies had nothing to offer  no insight  no original idea  no greater purpose  they were only funny if you had seen the movie  otherwise  you got nothing  conversely   chicken run  doesnt lean on its parodies  the film references are never the sole focus of any scene  if youve never seen  indiana jones   the chase sequence is still fun  even if you have no idea who mel gibson is  rocky remains an interesting character  park  lord  and screenwriter karey kirkpatrick realize that an audience does not need a parody shoved in their faces before its understood  and as a result   chicken run  is filled with visual and verbal jabs that are never too obvious  but not quite vague either  enjoyment of this movie doesnt require knowledge of film history  but if youve got it   chicken run  is that much richer  the voice cast turns in uniformly lively performances  and the characters they play are given so many subtle nuances that its hard not to fall in love with every one of them  ginger is perfect  spunky and opinionated  but with a soft heart that forbids her to leave her companions behind  and julia sawalha  known as the cute mousy girl on  absolutely fabulous   nails it  she has warm  human chemistry with gibson  whose rocky hides his personal doubt under a brash gungho veneer  the characters inevitable romance doesnt feel contrived  but sweet  poor mr  tweedy  tony haygarth  suspects the chickens are organizing in some way  but his limited intellect prevents him from figuring things out  and his overbearing wife certainly isnt any help  jane horrocks delivers a lovely voice characterization as tragically optimistic babs  a hen that runs away with most of the best oneliners  all while perpetually crocheting a sweater   and two supplytrading rats that seem to have walked straight out of a monty python sketch nearly steal the show during the lively central swingdancing sequence  they even come up with an inspired riff on something thats baffled scholars and theologians alike for decades  the chicken vs  egg dilemma  one might have expected this inevitable joke to come off as wearisome  but as with most of  chicken run   it comes as a delightful surprise  the film manages to cross all barriers  it should be accessible to both children and adults  brits and yanks  rats and chickens  the animation is firstrate  remember that this was all done the oldfashioned way  with actual humans moving clay figurines around on a tiny set bit by painstaking bit  and you see just how truly remarkable  chicken run  really is  this movie possesses that same quality that makes pixar studios animation great  precise and unwavering attention to detail  as in such topnotch family fare as  a bugs life  or  toy story 2    chicken run  has something to offer in nearly every frame  certainly a passive viewer can enjoy it as a straightforward story with a worthwhile moral and some surprisingly touching scenes  but a active  attentive viewers will enjoy it even more because theyll catch all the details  anyway  the movies just a boatload of fun  funnest damn movie ive seen all year  
pos	after the press screening of  moulin rouge   i stood in the lobby of the theater listening to the reactions of my friends and colleagues  everyone seemed a bit numb  understandable after sitting through a barrage of oftenincongruous sounds and images  a pal of mine simply said that he loved the film and could hardly wait to take his wife to see it  another enthusiast immediately began to analyze the production  while a woman who flatout hated the movie gave him the skunk eye  when one fellow quietly stated  ive never really been a fan of musicals   the statement surprised me because  even though the story is told almost completely through song  i didnt think of it as a musical  there is so much going on in  moulin rouge  that  musical  seems too small a term to cover it   moulin rouge  is the kind of creation that sends critics scurrying off to the big tub o adjectives in search of proper words to describe the experience  australian director baz luhrmann  the man behind  strictly ballroom  and  romeo  juliet   fills the heads of viewers with unique camerawork  opulent imagery and songs ranging from  the sound of music  to  smells like teen spirit   sumptuous and beautiful  vulgar and overdone   moulin rogue  travels through the looking glass while an ethereal stereo loaded with 50 years worth of catchy tunes operates on the  random  setting  oh  and it has a story as well   it was 1899  the summer of love     christian  ewan mcgregor  is a penniless young writer newly arrived in paris   to write about truth  beauty  freedom and love   where he encounters a group of bohemians  led by henri de toulouselautrec  john leguizamo   christian meets satine  nicole kidman   a courtesan from the legendary moulin rogue  and his world transforms from black and white to technicolor  at once fragile and vivacious  the dazzling redhaired woman sweeps him off his feet without even trying  christian instantly falls in love with her and satine finds herself smitten with him as well  which is quite a hindrance for someone in her profession  working with the bohemians and moulin rogue impresario harold zidler  jim broadbent   christian writes an opus modestly named  spectacular spectacular   zidler quickly finds a backer  the wealthy duke of monroth  richard roxburgh   but theres a catch  the duke also wants the hand of the fair satine  as if all that isnt enough  satine has a cough  and while a cough in the real world probably indicates a cold  it rarely turns out to be anything that simple in movie land  like a teetertotter   moulin rogue  moves up and down between the ridiculous and the sublime  one of the loveliest moments comes as christine and satine commune outdoors at night  becoming part of a defiantly unrealistic parisian cityscape straight from a book of fairy tales  together they dance  while serenaded by the man in the moon  alessandro safina provides the vocals   apparently transported from the classic georges m  li  s silent film to guard the nocturnal sky  other scenes merely traffic in everythingandthekitchensink overload  the cavorting of toulouselautrec and his comrades gets strained at times and some of their overt comedy  accompanied by cartoon sound effects  is overly reminiscent of the frenzied farce that sitcoms like  bewitched  beat into the ground  of course  sensory overload was exactly what baz luhrmann had in mind   we never heard from baz to turn it down   one of the actors told the los angeles times   it was always  more  more    the director even sent a note to his cast reading   i dare you to make me say youve gone too far   the musical numbers reflect his attitude  one knockout piece  the  elephant love medley   incorporates the beatles  all you need is love   u2s  in the name of love   dolly partons  i will always love you  and elton john and bernie taupins  your song   need more  how about  diamonds are a girls best friend  spiced with portions of  material girl   luhrmanns cast offers a wide variety of approaches that  together  add up to something messy  but often wonderful  ewan mcgregor is extremely likable as christian  emphasizing the sincerity of the lovestruck poet  mcgregors singing voice is robust and adds vigor at just the right moments  once labeled the  ice queen   nicole kidman melts that characterization with a sizzling  yet tender  performance  she handles the songs adroitly  although her voice sounds a bit thin in the upper range  veteran character actor jim broadbent is suitably larger than life as ringmaster zidler  wait until you see him perform  like a virgin   as the buffoonish duke  richard roxburgh proves to be the films weakest link  although im sure he was simply following instructions  i suspect  moulin rogue  will be one of those loveitorhateit films  while i didnt completely love it  i most certainly liked it a lot  over the course of a year  i see well over 300 movies  and most of them look like xeroxes of each other   moulin rogue  is an original  and an original  even a flawed one  is a thing to be cherished  
pos	 living out loud   is the type of motion picture we dont often see  it is a film about mature  intelligent adults  instead of the usual american film  in which children basically dress up in grownup clothing and parade around acting like immature sevenyearolds  judith  holly hunter   a fortysomething living in new york city  has been having a difficult time with life lately  she is extremely depressed about her recent divorce to her husband  martin donovan   who had been cheating on her  she cannot sleep  haunted by terrible memories  often imagines offthewall things to try and make the world seem like a better place  and the only place she can really go to feel happy is to hear one of her favorite singers  liz bailey  queen latifah   perform at a local club  judiths life does start to brighten a little when  one night when she gets home to her apartment late  strikes up a conversation with the elevator operator  pat  danny devito   a lonely man in his fifties whom has lost his daughter recently  both of them create a sort of emotional connection with each other  seeking comfort with the other person  but while pat starts to form a deep love for her  judith only wants to remain friends   living out loud   which was written by richard lagravenese   the bridges of madison county    who is also making his directing debut here  is a wonderful film from beginning to end  one that is honest  genuinely funny  and poignant  the three central characters  that of judith  pat  and liz  are all written to be freethinking  complex human beings  and are all likable  but flawed  people who are constantly interesting  as is the film itself  one highly original element of the film is that judith occasionally imagines things occuring in her mind in the way she wishes they would happen  sometimes it results in comedy  and sometimes it turns out to be subtle and truly touching  one sequence that stands out is when judith is at a restaurant by herself  reading a novel  an older woman comes over to her  mentions that that is a great book she is reading  and then goes over to join her own friends  as the woman sits down  she looks over to see judith by herself  and motions for her to come join them  instantly  we realize this was simply in judiths mind  as we see the same woman just sit down at the table and begin talking to her friends  holly hunter and danny devito both give the performances of their careers here  hunter  of course  was brilliant in 1993s  the piano   for which she won an academy award  but in this film she is even better  i think  she finds the right note for each scene and holds it  and devito has never had such a humanistic role before  which i was surprised about  usually he is used as the butt of a joke  or as a caricature  but in this film  has a livingandbreathing  sympathetic person to play  topping it all off is latifah  also a singer  who is quickly turning into a respectable actress herself  and has a juicy  natural supporting role as  in some ways  judiths role model  another joy of the film is that it does not somehow form a contrived   happy  ending  but  in staying with its realistic tone  manages to be upbeat  but truthful  the last shot is an especially powerful image  nothing is said  but just the image of someone walking down a sidewalk says it all  the relationship that results between judith and pat is truetolife and sincere  as we watch these two people talk  and get to know each other  all that we wish for them both is to be happy  even if that does not include for them to become romantically involved  and as   living out loud   which is one of the best films of the year  proves  sometimes a friendship is the strongest bond anyone could possibly ask for  
pos	oh behave  felicity shagwell is one shagadellic babe  do i make your horny  female fembots with breasts that require gun controlling  anything that resembles bananas and two balls of icecream  the nutbiting finale between mini me and austin  all that body hair is a real turn on  its a pity more leading men dont wear it on screen  anything that vaguely resembles sausages and eggs  fat bastard  the love scene between felicity and fat bastard  that redefines sex  the wrongly implied love scene in the tent that redefines anal sex  the love scene between austin and ivana humpalot  that redefines chess and oral sex  the love scene between dr  evil and frau farbissina  that redefines weird sex  the love affair between austin and felicity  that does not happen  because his mojo goes missing  the relationship between dr evil  himself and mini me which redefines a solo love affair  the unique relationship between dr evil and his son scott www  com  zip  that says a lot about our relationship with our children nowadays  weanies  johnny  richard  dick etc   this movie is every bit as silly and crazy as the first  there are moments that will make your sick  which are probably best forgotten  but overall mike myers has redefined what it means to be an international spy and leading man  
pos	written by john grisham and robert altman  as al hayes  directed by robert altman some time ago  a young director was given the opportunity to direct the screen version of a popular novel  the novel was a summer smash  topping bestseller lists across the country and already drawing speculation as to which popular actors of the day might play the leads  the only problem  the novel wasnt very good  it was far more pulp than pulitzer  but the director realized that  no matter how pedestrian the prose  this book really grabbed people  that the author  while not a great writer  was a fantastic storyteller  so he took on the project  convinced he could make something happen on screen  the director  francis ford coppola  the book  of course  was mario puzos the godfather  the rest  as they say in showbiz  was history  by bringing up the godfather  i dont mean to suggest that robert altmans the gingerbread man is destined for that level of greatness  but the parallel does suggest that it is possible to create great cinema from questionable source material  can you get any more questionable than john grisham  depends on whom you ask  but theres no question that grishams work grabs people  like puzo  grisham is a better storyteller than a writer  unlike fellow hack michael crichton  who is a good idea man but who cant tell a wellconstructed story from a can of spam  so something in grishams unpublished story of a cocky savannah lawyer who gets involved in a deadly family squabble drew the attention of robert altman  who at 73 years old remains one of americas greatest living filmmakers  the result is a gripping thriller that  while falling short of classic cinema  deserves its place in the altman canon  from its opening shot to the closing credits  the gingerbread man is permeated with a sense of dread  with a fear of the natural destructive forces of the universe  this terrific sense of mood is a classic altman touch  witness said opening shot  we see an aerial view of coastal georgia with its writhing  undulating landscape while the soundtrack grumbles ominously in our ear  we roll over the hills into the town of savannah  then zoom in close on a red sports car speeding over a bridge while its driver chatters oblivious on his cell phone  right away we know that the driver of that car is in for a few surprises  pay attention  boys and girls  this shot was not conceived by john grisham  but by altman  this is what a great director can do for questionable source material  the sports car belongs to rick magruder  kenneth branagh   the aforementioned hotshot attorney who specializes in police brutality cases  magruder has just won a high profile case and celebrates that night with a catered party at his office  outside after the party he meets one of the waitresses  mallory doss  embeth davidzt   just as she realizes her car has been stolen  driven by southern chivalry  a driving rainstorm and his unspoken attraction to the fragile waitress  magruder offers her a ride home  there he learns more about mallorys life than he bargained for  her car was stolen by her schizophrenic father dixon  robert duvall   a ted kyzynskistyle whacko who has been stalking and terrorizing his own daughter  magruder  perhaps influenced by mallorys decision to strip off her wet clothes in front of him  is sympathetic to her plight  and offers to help her get her father committed  right after he sleeps with her  of course  this simple offer of help leads magruder down a dangerous path with a black end  he succeeds in having dixon incarcerated in a mental hospital  and for a moment all appears well  but then dixons crack team of homeless commandos bust him out of the lockup  and suddenly magruder finds himself  mallory and his own children in danger  the cops wont lift a finger to help a liberal attorney  his only allies are his faithful assistant lois  daryl hannah  and his bumbling privateeye sidekick clyde  robert downey jr   if this predicament wasnt bad enough  hurricane geraldo is bearing down on savannah and throwing the world into chaos  altman may provide the atmosphere  but branaghs performance holds the gingerbread man together  an accomplished actor when he isnt directing himself in vanity productions  branagh does a fine job of making rick a sympathetic hero while casting doubt upon his motives  is his offer of help to mallory an act of kindness  or of egotism  magruder is so sure of his place in the world that he never considers that he has bitten off more than he can chew until he has to swallow it  and by then its too late  as the plot unfolds  magruder learns that none of us are as secure as we think we are  and life is never so bad that it cant get worse  if youre familiar with altmans work  youll recognize several of his signature techniques  characters are not introduced in establishing shots  but rather are allowed to wander in the background of scenes until their importance becomes apparent  crucial scenes are shot from the outside through windows  making the audience unwitting voyeurs of the action  dialog overlaps and the actors seem to slip naturally into an improvisational style  and of course theres my favorite altman technique  the obligatory nude actress shot  thanks to altman  here are some of the actresses ive had the pleasure of seeing naked  sally kellerman  julianne moore  madeline stowe  even frances mcdormand  and now i can add embeth davidtz  who looks quite healthy in the altogether  the naked actress shot has become as ubiquitous to the altman film as the director cameo was to the hitchcock film  is it oldschool sexism  or a clever injoke  you be the judge  but back to the picture at hand  in the hands of a mere mortal  the gingerbread man would have been a routine thriller  no better or worse than the countless others weve all endured  in the hands of a master like altman  it becomes an exercise in existential doom  in its own way far more successful than scorseses cape fear remake  which tried for the same result  what may prevent it from enduring with altmans greatest work is a weak third act  in fact  there really is no third act in grishams story  so it appears that altman had to throw in the hurricane just to jazz things up  but there are true moments of riveting suspense  and great performances by branagh  davidzt and downey jr  more than enough to see you through  that polygram so hated this picture that they tried to steal final cut from altman  and then buried the marketing campaign when he won it back  should tell you how utterly clueless of quality most studios are  they probably wanted it to look more like a time to kill  and that  my friends  should make you very afraid  
pos	october sky is a rare oddity in cinema  a selfproclaimed  uplifting  film that is actually uplifting  based on the autobiographical book by homer hickam  rocket boys  october sky tells the struggle of four boys reaching for their dream  its 1957  and for the boys of coalwood  west virginia  theres not much hope of a rosy future  coalwood is a coal mining town  and  except for the few lucky ones who manage to escape on a football scholarship  most of coalwoods boys are destined to work in the mine  but  in october 1957  an event happens that sparks one boy to dream  the launch of the soviet satellite sputnik sets homer hickam  jake gyllenhaal  to dream a future of rocketry and space travel  of course  homers parents  chris cooper and natalie canderday  arent quite sure what to make of their sons unusual interests  homer gets his strongest encouragement from miss riley  laura dern   a teacher in his school who also informs him about the scholarships offered to the winners of a national science fair  and so  with stars in his eyes  and thoughts of scholarships in his head  homer enlists the help of three other boys  william lee scott  chad lindberg and chris owen  and begins to build a rocket  but  do these four backwoods boys even have the slightest hope of escaping their destiny  there is a lot that could have gone wrong with october sky  nearly every sequence flirts with becoming syrupy and cliched  however  miraculously  october sky avoids nearly all of these pitfalls  making the exact right moves at the exact right times  a film emerges which manages to be powerful and moving without slipping into the gauzy haze of nostalgia or sliding down the sugarry slope of sappiness  jake gyllenhaal is outstanding as the kid at the center of this film  from the outset of the film  he is immediately likable  and never seems too corny or brainy as to alienate the audience  unfortunately  while october sky focuses on homer  the other three kids get the short end of the stick  they remain little more than placeholders reading  insert friend here   of the adults in the film  chris cooper is the most fully realized character  the film never paints him as merely the villainous parent standing in the way of his childs dreams  but  instead  shows the multihued portrait of a man who wants the best for his family and town  but is too stubborn to realize what that is  director joe johnson deserves much credit for successfully navigating the many obstacles that october sky manages to dodge  however  there are still a few occasions when he allows things to proceed just a step too far  scenes which were natural and inspiring start to become contrived and artificial  however  these lapses are minimal  and johnson quickly steers the movie back on course  the problem with many socalled  uplifting  films is that they attempt to force their mediciney goodness down your throat  october sky never resorts to that level  and yet  manages to become a truly uplifting film purely on its own merits  
pos	this three hour movie opens up with a view of singerguitar playermusiciancomposer frank zappa rehearsing with his fellow band members  all the rest displays a compilation of footage  mostly from the concert at the palladium in new york city  halloween 1979  other footage shows backstage foolishness  and amazing clay animation by bruce bickford  the performance of  titties and beer  played in this movie is very entertaining  with drummer terry bozzio supplying the voice of the devil  franks guitar solos outdo any van halen or hendrix ive ever heard  bruce bickfords outlandish clay animation is that beyond belief with zooms  morphings  etc  and actually  it doesnt even look like clay  it looks like meat  
pos	while watching boiler room  i was constantly reminded of last years masterpiece fight club  both films consist of a predominately male cast  both films follow young men as they illicitly fight the traditional system for their own desires  and both films are seen through the eyes of one narrator  who eventually realizes that these men have to be stopped  while boiler room writerdirector ben younger does not get his point across as well as david fincher does for fight club  he does contribute another impressive work to a series of films aiming to represent the new generation  a generation which has seen the internet prosper and where everyone wants to be a millionaire  paying homage to oliver stones 1987 classic wall street  younger is almost modernizing the tale by using younger  hipper actors to play the greedy villains as opposed to the older  more experienced types  as is true in real life  younger minds are becoming richer and richer from their knowledge of more standard technology  boiler room dismisses the notion of ingenuity and shows that greed and desire for power come in all ages  another similarity with fight club is that both films are not action flicks  some people are convinced that an allmale cast automatically means there must be gory violence  here is proof that this is not true  if you want to see an action movie starring ben affleck  go see reindeer games this weekend  if you want to see a smart  insightful film with excellent acting and a clever script  see boiler room  giovanni ribisi gives an outstanding performance as the films narrator  seth  after dropping out of college and running a lucrative gambling center for college students in his apartment  seth is offered a high paying job by a wealthy man  nicky katt   he agrees to take the job  in which you are guaranteed to become a millionaire within three years  of selling stock to welloff americans from the midwest over the telephone and begins to fit in quite well with his coworkers  learning tricky techniques to deceive innocent people into buying shares of a good in production  seth figures this is too good to be true  after stumbling into a room at the wrong time  he knows there is something no good about this company  at this point  seth is left with the ultimate choice  continue with the american dream and make millions or tell the authorities that something fishy is going on  ribisi is believable as seth especially when he shares scenes with ron rifkin  playing seths dad  the two have perfect chemistry as a troubled father and son trying to impress each other and simultaneously impress themselves  the transitions from anger to sympathy that these scenes contain are the standout segments of the entire film  the supporting cast of greedy coworkers is also flawless  ben affleck shines in a short but sweet performance as a recruiter for the company  nicky katt is fabulous as the ostensibly friendly boss who eventually becomes extremely jealous of seth  and vin diesel gives his best performance of his career as the foil character of nicky katt  the energy of the cast as a whole makes boiler room well paced and never boring  the only major error in the film is that nothing major happens  there is no big plot twist or climatic point to make the film more memorable  due to the lack of a major event  boiler room never finds a suitable genre to fit into  the movie is not intense enough to be a thriller  the romantic segments involving seth and abby  nia long  are not properly finalized  and the dialogue isnt funny enough to make it a comedy  in having trouble to characterize the movie as a whole  boiler room is slightly confused at times  it doesnt seem to know which category to fit itself into  one satisfying concluding scene could have changed the whole film for the better  otherwise  the movie is fun to watch thanks to its lively cast of young actors  
pos	ok  lets get one thing straight right away  maximum risk is no battleship potemkin  although it does have some russians in it    but its not too bad  really  its the new film from ringo lam  the latest hong kong filmmaker to defect to hollywood  and stars that minor league schwartzeneggar from belgium  jeanclaude van damme  who  you will recall  also starred in john woos maiden hollywood effort  hard target   in lams film  van damme plays alain moreau  a french cop  at least his accent makes more sense here than it did in hard target  who discovers that he was separated shortly after birth from a twin brother who was adopted by russians  these russians defected to the united states and moved into a black neighbourhood in new york  where  i suppose  they thought they wouldnt be noticed   this brother  mikhail suverov  played in his few scenes by    well  you know   becomes deeply involved in the russian mafia and the fbi  almost the same thing  i guess   and is killed in france  in the movie  things happen so fast that you dont have too much time to think about how weird this all is   moreau does what any good surviving twin brother would do and goes to new york to find out why mikhail was killed  and why everyone in france who knows anything about him is also being killed  we wonder the same thing  i still do   in little odessa  he meets mikhails girlfriend  alex  natasha henstridge  last seen in species   who helps him solve the mystery and adds immeasurably to the miseenscene  she has very nice breasts  and we get to seen them briefly in this movie  it was rated r in the us but is pg here  so they must have seen more of her breasts than we do   this film lacks the gloss and high production values of such other action movies as broken arrow  the fugitive  hard target  or anything starring arnold  but that works to its benefit  i think  after all  one thing thats been missing from woos hollywood films is that certain hong kong funkiness that we all know and love  well  some of us do   movies like this shouldnt be too pretentious  and that is part of the problem with some of these other films  they try to be too  big  in terms of special effects and sheer spectacle  maximum risk has its share of car chases and explosions  but they dont overwhelm the movie or detract our attention from the narrative  not too much  anyway   the emphasis throughout is on the characters and their interactions  even if  at times  they dont make a hell of a lot of sense   in fact  one of the more interesting aspects of the film is a minor character  a rather overeager new york cabbie  frank van keeken from tvs  kids in the hall    who begins as something of a joke but becomes an important part of the story  unfortunately  by the time we have come to really get interested in him  he    well  youll see  the movie also features some set pieces of the type that we have come to expect from lam and his hong kong compatriots  one is a fight in a russian sauna  with lots of sweaty  muscular male flesh  this one will appeal to certain parts of the audience more than others   bullets in heads  and vodka  another  my personal favorite  is a fight in a meat packing house  featuring pig carcasses and a chainsaw  and even the predictable car chases are more hong kong than hollywood  as they trash those quaint french cafes  vegetable carts  and  well  french people that  we all know in our hearts  deserve trashing just for being so damn quaint  of course  the movie does have its share of silliness  for example  while beating the crap out of an obnoxious russian thug who obviously deserves what hes getting  alain stops long enough to look at his own reflection in the cracked mirror with which he has been whacking the guy on the head  in an unnecessarily dramatic moment  he apparently is shocked at what he sees  at what he has become  but what has he become  a tough cop who beats the hell out of a guy who tried to kill him  doesnt sound too unreasonable to me  considering the genre  but lets face it  any time van damme tries to be dramatic  he looks silly  so maximum risk is a little different from most other action films  while watching it  i was surprised  and a little disappointed  in the relative lack of pyrotechnics  but watching some of these other action films is sort of like experiencing a sugar rush  after the initial excitement  theres not much left  although its short on spectacle  lams film leaves a better and more lasting impression  i think  im more impressed by it now than i was while watching it  and to me  thats a good sign  go see maximum risk  but dont expect a typical hollywood action movie  expect a sort of funky hong konghollywood action movie  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  dr t  white teaches film at the english language and literature department of the national university of singapore  but we dont hold this against him  
pos	trailing the success of brit humour in the movie industry with the likes of the semidramatic the commitments and the nearly slapstick a fish called wanda  the full monty is one film which delivered the depth of the former and the humour magnitude of the latter  the film opens with a narrated documentary reel showing the improving economic and living standards of sheffield in the 60s  then cut to the harsh reality of the present  sheffield has become some sort of a semislum with the only visible increase in anything was the amount of layoffs from steelfactories  a once flourishing industry  gaz  carlyle  spends most of his time in the workers club  a sort of place where jobless people sit around to wait for job offers  he and his plump friend dave  addy  as well as their former foreman gerald  wilkinson  have been sitting around the club for months without any call for duty  what seemingly was just a passing hard time for gaz suddenly transformed itself into desperation when he cannot afford the 700 pounds of childsupport money to his exwife  suddenly finding himself facing the possiblity of losing custody of his son  he goes on to concoct an enterprising wildidea to get the money he desperately requires  dave and gerald too have problems of their own  on top of his lack of employment  dave is also faced with the paranoia of his wife leaving him because of his current financial state as well as hisplump appearance while gerald have been cheating on his wife by not telling her of his layoff for as long as 6 months  leaving home for work when he was actually a longstanding member of the workers club  there we have it  people with real problems and a notsopractical solution for them  gaz manages to get the support from them and sure enough they managed to get a few other poor jobless blokes to join in their gag  to perform a stripact at the local pub  in gazs own words while looking at an add for a stripact featuring hunky beautiful men  if women are willing to pay for this  they sure as well will pay for realmen  the full monty is very simple in nature and not a trace ambitious at all  it is a small film which delves in the harshreality of unemployment and the desperation it drives people to  it also is a very light movie to watch despite the theme it delves in because it has a lot of humanfactor going for it  never for once  was it trying to be manipulative at all  the full monty was true to itself all the way  while the hilarity level of this film soared unexpectedly high  audience will find that they are in no way being cheated of a laugh  something lacking in many comedy films  wannabes   from hollywood  other than carlyle  who acted as the psychotic begbie in trainspotting  the rest of the actors were definitely very new to me onscreen  however  the acting presented in this film is more than satisfying  carlyles work here is a stark contrast to his character in trainspotting  implying real acting skill and flexibility onscreen  kudos to the people involved in this film  especially to director peter cattaneo for being able to put together an excellent film which is has so much potential in ending up as your justanotherstriptease  already a critical and financial success for such a small film  the full monty is a humble film which deserves applause throughout  while titanic managed to feast the eyes and soul in an epic way  the full monty gives one the same satisfaction    in half the time  
pos	 youll go ape over tarzan because its more fun than a barrel of monkeys   okay  theres the quote in case disney wants to put something in their ads for the movie  disneys latest animated feature throws us right into the action from the very beginning  skipping the usual main title sequence and putting us on pitching waves as a small family attempts to escape from a sinking ship  father  mother  and infant somehow make it to shore amidst a rousing song by phil collins  and have soon built a treehouse which would impress the swiss family robinson  its amazing  the kinds of things you can do when you work to a soundtrack  before you know it  an unfortunate set of circumstances put the baby in the hands of kala  glenn close   a mother ape who recently lost her own baby to a predatory leopard  against the wishes of her mate and family leader  kerchak  lance henricksen   she takes on the infant boy as her own  tarzan is not so much a story about a human boy surviving in the african jungles as it is about one who does not really fit in either humanity or the wild  much of tarzans young life is spent trying to become one of the apes in the eyes of his peers and his  father   which occasionally gets him into trouble no matter how wellmeant his attempts  all hes looking for is acceptance  perhaps a goal easily identifiable by young viewers  but one which will ring true with a lot of adults  when you really think about it  this story fits right into the disney formula of the outcast that triumphs in the end  look back on past disney animated features and youll see the trend  growing up  tarzan  voiced by alex d  linz as a child  and by tony goldwyn as an adult  has a couple of friends  one is an ape named terk  rosie odonnell   and the other is a paranoid hypochondriac of an elephant named tantor  wayne knight   both provide the requisite comic relief  timon and poombah from the lion king immediately come to mind  and perform the usual hijinks as prescribed by the disney mold  im beginning to think anyone can write the screenplay for one of these films  just fill in the blanks  can you see it   now we have to have a couple of zany friends for out hero who might get him into mischief  but cover for him or come to his rescue when he needs it  weve already had a fish and a crab  and weve had a candle and a teapot  a genie and a dog  a few stone statues     have we had an ape and an elephant yet  well  there we go   of course  theres gotta be romance somewhere along the line  so jane  minnie driver  gets introduced about halfway through  together with her father dr  porter  nigel hawthorne  and the big game hunter clayton  brian blessed   jane is on an expedition to find and study the wild gorillas of africa  she discovers the man raised by apes and is enchanted almost immediately  and soon shares an amusing version of the compulsory  you tarzan  me jane  scene  thankfully  those arent the exact words  however  i found it distracting that tarzan is going  ohh ohh ee ee  one second and then tells jane his name in this manly voice with perfect diction  how does he tell his name to another ape   ohh ohh ee  tarzan  ee ee ohh   well  regardless of my picky nature  the romance actually works as only disney romance can  purely contrived  but for some reason rather believable  but hey  tarzans a young adult  do you think he dated a few of the female apes before meeting jane  isnt that illegal in most countries  oh  well  i dont think disney will be using my quote anymore  tarzan departs from the usual disney feature in that this one is not a musical  theres lots of music to be sure  but not a single character song in the whole hour and a half of running time  we instead get more of a phil collins concert  as no less than five of his original songs are used as interlude material  this isnt really a bad thing  as the songs are very highenergy and catchy  i found myself singing one to myself for most of the following day   its just different  do yourself a favor and see this film in a theater with a good sound system  because the music will come through astonishingly well and really enhance the movie  with each new feature  disney animation gets even better  not necessarily by leaps and bounds  but since they put out a new film each year  a steady rate of improvement is apparent  and this definitely shows in tarzan  there are a couple of scenes where the animation achieves a near 3d effect  and a number of scenes which feature tarzan moving through the trees are absolutely dizzying  the way he slides down tree limbs and trunks is very reminiscent of skateboarding and rollerblading maneuvers  and had me thinking this isnt just tarzan  its  extreme tarzan   however  tarzan does not seem to have what i call its  chandelier scene   which is the one scene to which the animators have chosen to devote an inordinate amount of effort  utilizing a computerassisted process that makes the animation absolutely breathtaking  lasting but a few seconds at most  its been the signature of nearly every disney animated feature since beauty and the beast  in which the castle ballroom chandelier was rendered in stunning detail  as usual  the voice talent is up to snuff  convincingly make you believe in the convictions of animated characters  the one poor choice in casting  however  was rosie odonnell  going into the film  i didnt know she was even a part of it  but when terk started talking  i recognized her voice immediately  her performance was fine  but through the rest of the film i kept thinking   thats no boy ape  that rosie odonnell   distracting to say the least  ill admit ive never read the edgar rice burroughs story  tarzan of the apes   so i couldnt tell you how true this film stays to the book  but unless youre a purist  you should have few objections to this film  with solid performances  action  adventure  a bit of romance  and great music and animation  tarzan should appeal to the kids and to the kid in all of us  note  when i wrote my review of mulan a year ago  i went off on the promotional and merchandising tieins prevalent with the release of a disney animated feature  this time  ill just say that i went to mcdonalds yesterday to treat myself to a mcflurry  and tarzan was on the cup  nuff said  
pos	youve got mail is a timely romance for this impersonal  computerdriven decade  two people whove never met confide in each other via email without revealing their true identities  nora ephrons contemporary update of the shop around the corner retains the basic plot  two people who despise each other unwittingly become enamored with each other through their anonymous correspondence  ephron  who cowrote the film with her sister  delia  as well as directed it  knew what she was doing by reteaming tom hanks and meg ryan as the atodds couple  ryan is kathleen kelly  owner of a small childrens bookstore  while hanks is joe fox  who heads up a chain of mega bookstores  think barnes  noble   their charm and chemistry are the glue that binds this film  even through some of the scripts rough spots  for the ephrons invested so much effort in their protagonists that they give short shrift to the talented supporting cast  including parker posey  greg kinnear  jean stapleton and steve zahn  yet no one is really going to complain because the ephrons know their audience  and what the paying public wants is hanks and ryan  and the two are kept busy  one  the other or both are in nearly every scene  hanks has his decent guy routine down pat  yet each time he does it  it seems effortless  spontaneous and fresh  ryan smoothly moves between spunky and vulnerable  with a sexy touch of winsomeness added to the brew  their scenes together sparkle  even though they lack the nostalgic romanticism of sleepless in seattle  and the shadow of that earlier hit hangs over youve got mail like driedup mistletoe  the sparks created by the earlier movie are  by necessity  not evident here  true  these are two people seeking true love  but youve got mail is more comic and less poignant than its predecessor  the ephrons script is witty and sharp  however  as a director nora ephron is a bit uneven  some scenes drag  while others  especially when hanks and ryan are revealing their souls via email  are crisp and tidy  also  the script gets sloppy toward the end with characters merely disappearing from the story  a nice  romantic soundtrack adds to this datenight special  overall  youve got mail is a lush and cute outing  taking advantage of the star appeal of its two leads  its a nice holiday movie  one for holding hands and snuggling  committed to lifelong learning through effective communication 
pos	according to hollywood movies made in last few decades  life in small town is one of the worst things that could happen to a human being  even worse fate awaits those who were unfortunate to grow up in those dark  godforsaken places and later forced to live forever traumatised by the experience  on the other hand  it seems that something more than atlantic ocean divides europe from america  because one of the most popular and beloved european films takes exactly the opposite view  this film is amarcord  1974 comedy by famous italian director federico fellini  which later gave inspiration to numerous imitations and homages  and even led few american screen artists to adopt its heretical views about benefits of small town life  the film is based on the screenplay by fellini and tonino guerra and it lacks the plot in usual sense  instead we follow one year in 1930s italian summer resort town of rimini through the series of short vignettes that depict various local events and customs  as well as series of local  often very colourful characters  although many of those characters occasionally take the role of narrator  movie concentrates on its nominal protagonist  14year old boy titta  played by bruno zanin  and chronicles his sexual frustrations  obsession with local beauty queen named gradisca  played by magali noel   problems in his lovingly dysfunctional family  as well as troubles his father  played by armando brancia  have with mussolinis fascist regime  amarcord was often noted as the ultimate nostalgia film  and it probably explains why it is very popular  even among those people who actually dont like federico fellinis work very much  every member of its potential audience would find part of himself or herself in this film  because fellini in this film clearly illustrates natural human desire to paint past in the best way possible  distortion between actual past and its subjective interpretation could be found even in the title of the film  word  amarcord  is nothing more than badly pronounced phrase  i remember  in local italian dialect  in the same way the word is distorted  so is the past in memories of those who remember it  after the premiere  fellini rejected any claims about autobiographical character of this film  but it doesnt matter whether rimini of amarcord actually resembles rimini of fellinis childhood or not  any place and any time could resemble characters and situations of this film  fellinis views on nostalgia are clearly illustrated with a way he mixes reality and fantasy in this film  even the most naturalistic scenes are laced with dark humour and grotesque images  characters look like caricatures  actors playing them often deliberately overact  and women  especially those who fuel tittas sexual fantasies  often have certain body parts with gargantuan proportions  every now and then  scenes that depict 1930s reality gradually slide into fantasies of movies characters and rimini becomes almost indistinguishable from the magical place in characters visions  because of that  almost everything in this film looks different  and in most cases better  than it would have looked in the real life  even the fascism gets fellinian makeover  fellini views mussolinis totalitarian regime as nothing more than visual spectacle  explaining why similar regimes enjoyed such popular support throughout history  and opportunity for comedy  when fascists finally show their true colours and begin torturing their opponents  even this becomes opportunity for scenes of macabre humour  unlike many of his italian colleagues in 1970s  who had used 1930s period setting to explicitly condemn fascism and serve fashionable political agenda  fellini doesnt care that much about politics  lack of selfrighteous moral perspective is compensated with fellinis humanistic approach to his characters  each of them  regardless of age  gender  social class or physical appearance  is given opportunity to express his or her views  dreams and fears  fellini treats all those characters with warmth and affection  even when he paints them as grotesque caricatures of real people  because of this warmth and democratic spirit  amarcord could be viewed as one of the most humane films of 20th century  and it keeps its general feel good atmosphere despite depicting having many uncomfortable  melancholic and even tragic moments  fellini couldnt produce such effects without using his own directorial talent that gave a very personal touch to this movie  vignettes arent memorable because of the characters only  fellini uses camera  painting film in bright colours  especially in the scenes that depict characters fantasies  fellini also knows how to use locations  whether such location happens to be luxurious hotel  brightcoloured beach or rural countryside  even the downtoearth streets of rimini  where everyone knows everyone  gets magical dimension during the snowfall  on the other hand  lack of credible special effects somewhat diminished the same effect during the ocean liner scene  this atmosphere is also provided by incredible talent of composer and fellinis longtime associate nino rota  his amarcord theme is probably one of the most recognisable  most popular and most relaxing and uplifting pieces of film music ever produced  that music alone should be the reason to view amarcord as one of the indisputable classics of seventh art  
pos	written by mark rosenthal and lawrence konner starring charlize theron  bill paxton  david paymer as reviewed by james brundage im beginning to get fed up  over my four years as a critic  the thing which has kept me going is the moderate balance of films  the good balances the bad  i try to see both in equal proportions  but disneys mighty joe young remake marks the fourth week in which i havent seen a truly terrible movie  its a backwards machismo  i suppose  the urge to see the things which you so loathe  but i need to see a bad film every once in a while  and  you know what  mighty joe young doesnt qualify  far from being bad  mighty joe young is actually a family fun movie  its enjoyable  appropriate  cute  cuddly  and all of those other things that ive been seeing in every movie since a bugs life  mighty joe young tracks a 2  000 pound gorilla in the wilds of africa that is taken to a reserve in    california     for safekeeping  okay  a little unrealistic  but who ever said a kids movie had to have the slightest hint of realism  the first half of the movie is a gorillas in the mistesque hatred of poachers womanofthewild motif  the second half is a straight up parody of king kong  awestruck onlookers and all  mark one down  im feeling relaxed  it is  as a point of fact  an extremely uncreative movie  but  as a vetern  i can say quite honestly that creativity doesnt count for as much as it should  so that saves mighty joe from my wrath  although my colleagues and cohorts and surely bashing this film at this very moment  this is not the film to take a girl on a date to  its not the film for you  its the film for you and your family  when youre right alongside your kid  all of the normal rights and wrongs slip away  the same thing happens when you watch a horror movie or an action flick  it becomes fun  all you have to do to enjoy mighty joe young is shut up and watch  
pos	notting hills trailer is awful  a laughless  schmaltzy montage  the movie was desperately marketed to the antiphantom menace crowd  the same lovelorn females who ignored the love letter  and it apparently worked  perhaps the presence of julia robertswhose allure beyond those perfect teeth still escapes mehad a lot to do with notting hills opening weekend success  but the films staying power is based on word of mouth  allow me to spread some more good buzz for notting hill  grant stars as william thacker  a travelbookstore owner who works and resides in a tiny english district called notting hill  into his shop one day wanders famous actress anna scott  roberts   a common thief  some spilled orange juice  and some stilted conversation leads to their first  highly impetuous  or is that improbable    kiss  days later  william sneaks into her hotel suite under the guise of a magazine journalist  and so begins a passionate  albeit surreptitious  affair   aside  notting hills portrayal of press junkets is deadly accurate   only annas celebrityor williams lack thereofthreatens to drive a wedge between them  richard curtis has tapped into fantasy we all have considered  and for at least its first halfhour the pictures  beauty and the beast  like scenario is  romantic  escapism of the highest order  as with groundhog day or pleasantville  while watching the highconcept comedy notting hill one constantly imagines himherself in the lead  its williams ordinaryness that entices the spoiled and bored anna  curtis  who previously penned four weddings and a funeral  is also smart enough to know that the unlikely couples situation is not enough to fuel two hours worth of entertainment  so some of notting hills finest moments revolve around williams eccentric friends and family  by now  dear reader  youve probably heard a lot about rhys ifans performance as williams imbecilic welsh flatmate  yes  hes a crowd pleaser  a walking sight gag  but his character is not nearly as involving as the wheelchairbound  and appropriately named  bella  mckee  the anguished waitress of naked  or max  tom mcinnerny   her lousy chef of a husband  in the movies best sequence  william  anna  and company sit around bloated from maxs latest concoction and hold a contest  the last brownie on the table goes to the diner with the saddest life  the scene ends only as a british writer would end it  if anything  fantastic bits like these dull the main plots dramatic impact  roberts and grant  especially  are appealing  but their relationship is convolutedly interrupted too many times  four weddings suffered similar flaws   and william and anna ultimately only have one thing in common  theyre lonely   worth noting in roberts and grants favour  the ubiquitous  im just a girl  standing across from a boy  asking him to love her  episode is not nearly so syrupy as it appears in clips  and it features some of the best emoting either actor has ever done   notting hill is nonetheless enjoyable  on the visual side of things  i especially appreciated michells playful changingoftheseasons number  if only  and this is a surprisinly minor gripe  he had lopped off the egregious epilogue  for a story that thrives on what we bring to it  the filmmakers work too hard to tidy things up  leaving our imaginations in the lurch  
pos	note that followups are directed to rec  arts  movies  currentfilms and rec  arts  movies  startrek  current only  not to rec  arts  sf  movies  moderator star trek  first contact a film review by michael dequina copyright 1996 michael dequina star trek  first contact  pg13  anyone familiar with the series of star trek movies knows of the  evenodd pattern  the evennumbered installments of the series are good while the oddnumbered ones are  well  notsogood  the pattern continues with the new star trek  first contact  an energetic scifi adventure that  coincidentally   is the eighth entry in the hugely popular series  in this first trek feature to feature only cast members from the late star trek  the next generation television series  captain jeanluc picard  patrick stewart  and the rest of the 24thcentury crew of the starship enterprisecommander will riker  jonathan frakes  who also directed   android lt  cmdr  data  brent spiner   lt  cmdr  geordi laforge  levar burton   lt  cmdr  worf  michael dorn   dr  beverly crusher  gates mcfadden   and counselor deanna troi  marina sirtis  travel back to 21stcentury earth while doing battle with the borg  a race of cybernetic beings that share a collective mind with the borg queen  alice krige   the borg intend to alter history and assimilate all of humankind into their racestarting with the earthorbiting crew of the enterprise and a 21st century stowaway  alfre woodard   this is an interesting plotline that is sure to mesmerize trekkers everywhere and engage everyone else  but  unfortunately  it only makes up the star trek half of the script by brannon braga and ronald d  moore  the other half of the titlefirst contactrefers to a subplot that takes place on 21stcentury earth  where riker  troi  and laforge meet legendary scientist zephram cochran  james cromwell   who is about to embark on the first warp speed flight in human history  which directly leads to the first contact with extraterrestrials  while this story does tie into the main plot and pays off interestingly in the end  it is nowhere near as involving or exciting as the borg battles on the enterprise  not helping matters is the tiresome cochran character  an eccentric whose drunken schtick starts out funny but becomes too onenote after a while  in the end  though  the first contact subplot doesnt detract from the enjoyment of the film as a whole  the story is typical scifi fantasy  but the conviction of the castmost notably the alwaysphenomenal stewartmakes you believe and care  frakes  making his feature directorial debut  keeps the action swiftly rolling along and delivers the action goods  even upping the violence a notch  this is the first trek film to bear a pg13 rating  to greater effect  st  fc has a bigger budget than the last trek outing  the middling star trek generations  and it definitely shows on screenthe production design and especially visual and makeup effects are outstanding  in particular those involving the borg queen   braga and moores mostly sharp script will please both trek devotees and the rest  the references to the borg storyline in the tv series  the continuity with the previous film  e  g  the ongoing saga of datas emotion chip   and a fleeting star trek  voyager crossover will make trekkers squeal with delight  but such points are made easily accessible to those less familiar to the trek mythos  paramount was reportedly worried about the staying power of its trek franchise with the next generation cast now carrying the helm  based on the entertaining success that is star trek  first contact  id say the studio has nothing to worry about  at least not until this cast retires and the crew of the wan star trek  deep space nine takes over      
pos	slavery is bad  after hundreds of years  weve finally figured that one out  this almost universal belief is the both the strength and weakness of director steven spielbergs latest  serious  film  during the late 1830s  a portuguese slave ship carries a cargo of black men and women kidnapped from their home on africas west coast to cuba to be sold into slavery  fiftythree of them are stuffed into the  la amistad   from a spanish word for  friendship   by their new spanish owners  freeing himself from his chains  senge pieh  djimon hounsou   renamed cinque by his masters  leads a bloody revolt  after killing most of the crew  the africans force the remaining sailors to return them to their home  or so they think  instead the ship heads up the coast to the united states  the amistad is boarded by an american naval ship and the revolutionaries are put on trial in connecticut for murder and piracy  the legal question becomes are they free men fighting justly for their freedom or are they property  if they are property  who do they belong to  their masters  the spanish government  salvage rights of the officers who captured the ship  the us government  the defendants are pawns in several games  abolitionists theodore joadson  morgan freeman  and lewis tappan  stellan skarsgard  want to free them  but tappan sees them primarily as a means to further the cause  their lawyer roger baldwin  matthew mcconaughey  views the case as a simple one of property rights and a chance to make his share of legal fees  south carolina senator john c  calhoun  arliss howard  pursues the case for the political advancement of the southern states  president martin van buren  nigel hawthorne  is willing to force the result towards his own political ends  when the verdict looks to free the africans  van buren replaces the judge with one more sympathetic to his wishes  even that doesnt work and the new judge frees the kidnap victims  at the urging of calhoun  the president then appeals the case to the supreme court  populated by a majority of slaveowners  this littleknown  try finding it in any history text book  incident from americas past would have gone down a darker path were it not for former president john quincy adams  anthony hopkins  who is persuaded to argue the case before the supreme court  the slavery issue is easy pickins for spielberg  much like his  shindlers list   which followed  jurassic park  as this follows  lost world    the moral sides are not difficult ones to choose  nazis and slave traders  both treat groups of others as less than human  its not hard to see who the bad guys are  without that question to ponder  the directors job is more difficult  he has to make the story interesting  spielberg succeeds for the most part  the visual aspect of the film is beyond reproach  where the movie falls down is a bit more subtle  there are very few people in the tale  in fact  cinque is the only character who is fleshed out  tappan and joadson are  abolitionists   symbols but not humans  van buren is a weak politician but nothing else  the rest of the  slaves  barely exist other than dressing for the set  like many other films about people of color  almost all the major players are white  the films salvation lies in the acting strength of everyone involved and the powerful presence of hounsou  the former models first major role is a winner  without speaking more than five words of english  he conveys more emotion than most actors with a thousand lines of dialog  the other standout is hopkins who seems to be making a career out of portraying american presidents  he also played the title role in  nixon    the impassioned speech by the doddering old man who phases in and out of rationality is among the best courtroom drama ever on the screen  there are some other great moments  especially impressive are the africans struggle to understand what is going on in the strange land  their interpretation of the bible based solely on the pictures and their own experiences is poignant  as grand as the epic is  it would have more impact had it focused more on the experience from the point of view of the africans  more humanity in the fight for humanity would have made it a fourstar film   michael redman has written this column for a real long time and is just now getting around to seeing some 1998 films   
pos	reflecting on  bedazzled   a lively comedy about the devil who seeks to possess the soul of a pathetic loser  one sinful thought remains in my mind  if hell means having to spend an eternity with elizabeth hurley  who portrays the fiery demon   then use that pitchfork and point me the way  with her pouty lips  irresistible british accent  and wild display of haute couture  hurley crackles with naughtiness and fills your mind with temptation  its practically impossible to turn this beelzubabe down  her next target is elliot  brendan fraser   a tech support geek who is clumsy  awkward  and just too eager to please  to aptly picture him  you would have to remember a saturday night live skit featuring  steve the copy guy  who effortlessly irritated his coworkers with his unpolished social skills  eugene  thus  is loathed and feared by his coworkers  who do their best to stay out of his way  yet  beyond his annoying mannerisms  hes a lovable oaf  he wishes that he could get closer to allison  frances oconnor   a coworker with whom he is infatuated but who has never taken notice of him  however  the odds of him getting together with her are about the same as a snowballs chance in hell   dear god   he prays   i would give anything to have that girl in my life   guess who then shows up  she makes an offer that is too hard to refuse   seven utterly fabulous wishes for one piddling little soul   theres even an escape clause  if elliots wish doesnt go exactly the way he likes  he need only beep her  one guess as to what the threedigit number is  and he gets to start over  the remainder of the film consists of elliots various fantasies that incorporate his personal desire to have enormous amounts of wealth  power  fame and allisons love  but when he makes sweeping statements such as  i want to be very  very powerful and very  very rich and married to allison   hell soon learn that the devil is in the details  for example   and weve seen this several times in the trailers   he is granted his wish  but finds out that hes a columbian drug lord and that allison  while married to him  has her eyes on someone else  apparently  the devil is just as eager to skew his fantasies as she is to possess his soul  his other wishes also end up with some strange but funny twist that shortcircuits his new life  soon  elliot wishes that he had never made that deal  given the mischievous nature of the devil   bedazzled  has many amusing moments  a lot of the credit goes to fraser who turns in a great comic performance  he ably assumes various personas  his funniest segment is when he wishes that he could be the most sensitive man in the world  allison becomes so frustrated with him that she practically urges him to take advantage of her  hurley also heightens the humor quotient  especially in the transitional scenes when fraser waits to start his next wish after bailing out of the previous one  its clear that shes having a good time with it all  yet  while the filmmakers work hard at creating funny scenes  they conspicuously avoid developing the allegorical underpinnings between good and evil that could have added more heft to this story  but that would be playing with fire  what theyve got works  so you can easily accept it for the pleasant little comedy that it is  
pos	the muppet movie is the first  and the best movie among the evergrowing list of muppet movies  the muppet movie tells the story of how our hero  kermit the frog  came to be a star  a delightful movie for all ages  the muppet movie is  bursting  with cameo appearances by countless hollywood stars of the 80s and today  the muppet movie begins in a movie theater  where all of the muppet stars are anxiously awaiting the first showing  once everyone is settled down  the movie inside of the movie begins  it starts out with kermit in a swamp  playing his banjo and singing  this shot required jim henson to spend hours underwater   kermit is discovered by bernie  a bigtime hollywood agent who happens upon kermit by accident  bernie believes that kermit holds much potential to become a big star in hollywood  kermit ponders the idea of becoming a big movie star  where he could  make millions of people happy   kermit decides to leave his swamp and make the trip out to hollywood  along the way  kermit befriends his now famous muppet companions  beginning with fozzie bear  who had been spending his days doing standup comedy at the el sleezo cafe  owned by james coburn  the two decide to teamup and continue on their way to hollywood  but  doc hopper  charles durning   the owner of a chain of french fried frog leg restaurants has a different idea  he wants kermit to be his spokesman  but kermit is humiliated at the idea and spends the movie avoiding him and his assistants  the trip continues  with kermit and fozzie meeting miss piggy  rowlf  gonzo  the electric mayhem band  and more muppets who all share the same wish  to make it to hollywood  oh  and even more celebrities continue to appear  kermit and miss piggy continue to get to know each other a little better  including a rather funny scene at a restaurant with steve martin as the waiter  eventually  kermit and the group make it to hollywood  that is  after kermit is finally able to elude doc hopper and proclaim his freedom  lord lew  a bigtime hollywood producer portrayed by orson welles  gives kermit his shot at stardom and gives him the goahead to produce a movie  the muppet movie is definitely a movie that is fun for all ages  it is also a suredeal as one parents can watch  and enjoy along with their kids  
pos	all great things come to an end  and the dotcom era embodies that perfectly  beneath a mound of bankruptcy paperwork lies the remains of a former dotcom darling  the company kozmo  com  an online convenience store stocked with ice cream  porn videos  and other basic necessities of a urban dweller  all handdelivered by couriers within an hour  designed in 1997 by two college roommates  joseph parks  a 27 year old goldman sachs banker  and yong kang  kozmo flamed out in three short years  raising more than 280 million in venture capital funding and from partnerships with such bigwigs as starbucks and amazon  com  by december 1999  the company boasted 4  000 employees in 11 cities  its barking ceo park attracting all kinds of media attention  the company was set for an ipo in may 2000    until april 14  2000  the day the stock market took its first big dive  ending the internet era  by april 13  2001  kozmo was out of money and ceased operations  unlike the earlier  similar documentary startup  com  which chronicled the rise and fall of another dotcom  govworks  edreams focuses both on its original founders  especially park  and on the common folks that ran the daytoday operations  the contrast is amazing  showing how a cult persona can convince anyone that any idea is the next big thing  the films director  wonsuk chin  too tired to die   expertly juxtaposes upper management company meetings with onthespot interviews with the bike messengers  general managers  and floor staff that kept kozmo humming  the films images give a backbone to the company and provide an emotional edge to its ultimate demise  the most satisfying part of the film comes in understanding  to a degree  the expectations of numerous ceos commanding these titanictype businesses  in the films final interviews with park  we learn what happens when the money dries up and backers dont return phone calls  in the end  the name of the game was profit  and if you couldnt make money  even the dreamers got the axe  screened at the 24th annual mill valley film festival  
pos	since their film debut in 1984 with the tightly wrought texas thriller  blood simple   joel and ethan coen have been one of the most eclectic  original  and downright fascinating creative teams in modern hollywood  their films are highly stylized  deeply embedded in a particular time and place  and their characters are more often than not everyday people who get caught up in highly unusual circumstances  in  the big lebowski   their first cinematic offering since the multiple academy awardwinning  fargo   the action takes place in los angeles during the gulf war  and the hero of the story is jeff lebowski  aka the dude  the dude is played by jeff bridges  one of hollywoods most underrated actors  in the best stoned performance since sean penn stumbled through the halls of ridgemont high  the dude is a simple man who has never quite made it out of the sixties  he has shaggy  shoulderlength hair  a grizzled goatee badly in need of a trim  and he wears mostly stained teeshirts  long shorts  and gellies without socks  he smokes a lot of pot  drinks a lot of white russians  and is more than content to spend the majority of his time bowling with his two buddies  a slightly psychotic vietnam vet named walter sobchak  john goodman  and donny  steve buscemi   one of those guys who always wants to be part of the conversation  but never quite makes it in  one day  the dude is confused with another jeff lebowski  david huddleston   this one being a millionaire philanthropist whose trophy wife  bunny  tara reid   owes a lot of people a lot of money  the main plot and all its accompanying sideplots and coenesque diatribes are far too complicated to get into here  suffice to say that the dude becomes deeply involved with the big lebowski when bunny is kidnaped and the dude is asked to be a courier for the ransom money  by the time all is said and done  walter has become deeply involved  as has the big lebowskis daughter  maude  julianne moore   a feminist performance artist  a pornographer named jackie treehorn  ben gazzara   and a group of german nihilists led by peter stormare  who was so great as the silent but deadly kidnaper in  fargo    the big lebowski  plays like an amalgam of all the coen brothers earlier efforts  it shares their previous films strong sense of time and place  as well as their sendups of movie genres and political and cultural ideologies   lebowski  has the same kind of crazed caricatures that made  raising arizona  such a hoot  it has surrealistic dream sequences  one of which involves a busby berkleylike dance number  that characterized the ending of  barton fink   and it has the same kind of cartoonish look and feel that pervaded  the hudsucker proxy   the film was shot by veteran cinematographer roger deakins  who has worked with the coens on three other films   barton fink    the hudsucker proxy   and  fargo   deakins always gives the coens films a distinctive visual style  and here he does a brilliant job of capturing the bright colors of seedy los angeles in the early nineties  whether that by the obnoxious blue bowling suit worn by the dudes main competitor jesus quintana  john turturro   or the strikingly manic dream sequences  one of which involves the dizzy spectacle of watching a strike from a bowling balls point of view  if  fargo  was the coen brothers most restrained effort in years   the big lebowski  marks their return to overtheedge filmmaking  it is overflowing with style and attitude  which helps make up for the scattered plot fragments that never quite come together in the end  the coens fill the screen with lighting  set design  music  and hilarious performances from all the leads  especially bridges and the always reliable john goodman  who shows real comic timing in his untimely naminspired outbursts and his intense dedication to his adopted judaism  with joel directing  ethan producing  and both writing  the coen brothers seem limitless in their capacity to turn our world inside out  their talent lies not in their ability to reflect the norms of reality  but in their potential to dig out the darkest corners of life and bring them to light  the coens rejoice in the oddballs of the world  and they put them centerstage to show that its not just guys like the dude who are nuts  but the entire planet  
pos	lean  mean  escapist thrillers are a tough product to come by  most are unnecessarily complicated  and others have no sense of expediency  the thrillride effect gets lost in the cumbersome plot  perhaps the ultimate escapist thriller was the fugitive  which featured none of the flashbang effects of todays market but rather a breadandbutter  textbook example of what a clever script and good direction is all about  the latest tony scott movie  enemy of the state  doesnt make it to that level  its a true nineties product that runs like greased lightning through a maze of cell phones and laptop computers  without looking back  although director scott has made missteps in the past  such as the lame thriller the fan  hes generated a good deal of energy in pictures like crimson tide and top gun  that vibrant spirit is present here  shown in welltimed and carefully planned chase scenes that give the movie an aura of sheer speed  enemy of the state also features an unprecedented use of amazing cinematography  director of photography daniel mindel throws a staggering amount of different views  angles  lenses  and film stocks at the audience that goes a long way toward involving the audience in the movie  enemy is truly a visual experience  and thats only one of the reasons its such a fun watch  the movie lights up with an aging senator visited by nsa deputy chief thomas reynolds  jon voight   reynolds wants a new communications act passed to allow the government free reign in the use of surveilance equipment  but the senator plans to bury the bill in committee  reynolds has the senator offed  but not before the murder is caught on a naturalists camera  by an extremist chain of events  the tape ends up in labor lawyer robert dean  will smith  s posession  and its not long before hes running from reynolds cronies  its only with the help of an exspook named brill  gene hackman  that dean is able to get to the bottom of things  the acting is top notch  and the three principles  smith  hackman  and voight  are generally more mature and excellent all around  smith puts aside the wisecracking act and becomes a normal human being  voight tones down the amount of sneer he puts into his character for greater ominpotence  and hackman is simply over the top in the mysterioso role  smiths regular joe comes off particularly well  as he runs from authorties for reasons that he knows not  the supports are also in fine form  lending credibility to the main roles and advancing the plot in key areas  this is  for the holiday crowd  the hot ticket  as well as anyone looking for a serving of genuine action in a market that is otherwise lacking  
pos	this film is based on the campy tv show from the 1960s under the same appellation  mind you  most people  including yours truly  who will see this movie will not have seen any episodes from the original series  the movie is really a stand alone in that regard  the family robinson    lost in space  plot  set in the year 2058  the family robinson is chosen to sail out into space in search of other planets that might contain the natural resources earth needs in order to survive its future  a colonization process  if you will  they are joined by able pilot west  leblanc   and evil uninvited stowaway  oldman   who does not want to see the trip conclude on a successful tip  eventually  their trek goes awry  and all are  lost in space    how do get back to earth   is the question that infests the rest of this scifi epic  critique  this film reminded me a lot of the fifth element  6  510  from the summer of 1997  its a film with a lot of flash  but very little actual substance  admittedly  there isnt an annoying character like chris tucker from the other film  but this film does run a little too long  and did lose me in regards to its complex timetravel  multidimensional story line  having said that  the special effects in this movie were amazing  and the overall look and feel were also way above average  you really felt like you were in the future  and riding through space with these poor souls  unfortunately for this chosen family  their 10year old son is the smartest one in the group  and the father is too wrapped up in his work to notice the rest of his family  ever heard that one before  yawn    the acting is ok  and i was especially surprised at the solid performance by tv friends matt leblanc who shows us all that hes definitely more than just a pretty face  on the down side  the family riffraff that cuts through most of the picture is lame and timeconsuming  even though we gotta give them credit for  trying  to develop characters in a scifi pic   the story line is hard to follow  the evil character in the movie actually tells people that hes  evil   and the movie goes on for about 20 minutes too long  on the slick side  many of the special effects are really cool  the sequence in which the family is  paralyzed  during the hyperdrive is awesome  and the animated monkey that joins the family halfway through the flic is mucho cool   the credit presentation at the end of the film is slamming  and the adventures that they fall into are somewhat thrilling  i will also admit that  somehow  they got me to semitear up near the conclusion of this picture     very odd        overall  if youre a big scifi fan  check this movie out for the special effects and challenging narrative  and if youre not  i would still suggest seeing this movie  but then you could probably wait until it comes out on video so that you forward past some of the boring parts  little known facts  this film will always be remembered as the movie that knocked titanic  710  out of the top spot at the boxoffice after 15 straight weeks at number one  garry oldman is british  and was once married to uma thurman for about six months  mimi rogers was tom cruises first wife  
pos	1992s alien3 marked not only the death  by suicide  of its popular protagonist  ellen ripley  sigourney weaver   but  in many ways  the alien franchise itselfbox office receipts were anemic  thanks to poor audience word of mouth  and the critics who rallied around the first two installments  1979s alien and 1986s aliens  savaged david finchers slog of a sendoff  myself included   hence  weaver  director jeanpierre jeunet  and the others behind alien resurrection faced a twofold challengenot only somehow resurrect ripley  but also rescue this onceprofitable series from the scrap heap  despite the odds  they have succeeded  even if the entertaining new installment does not measure up to the excellent first two  writer joss whedon devises a quick  easy  and painless answer to the dead ripley problemclone her  which is what shady military scientists do using some blood left behind on fiorina 161  the prison planet of the third film  that done  the real challenge presents itselfwhat do with her  alien introduced ripley as smart and resourceful  aliens simultaneously toughened her up and made her more vulnerable  exploring her maternal side  alien3 saw her undergoing the seven stages of death  what could be next  whedon comes up with a clever spin  since the original ripley died while impregnated with an alien queen  the blood used for the clone is also  infected  with alien dna  so the new ripley is  indeed  newa humanalien hybrid blessed with heightened instincts and strength  a psychic bond with the deadly species  and a more predatory attitude  unfortunately  that is where alien resurrections clever streak in writing stops  the alien series is known for having stronger stories than most creature features  but the story in resurrection is more of an afterthought  the movie begins with a plot involving some military types attempting to train aliens to do their bidding  but once the creatures break free  it is once again ripley and a ragtag crew  this time a bunch of interstellar smugglers  including tough waif call  played by a game winona ryder  trying to exterminate them  and the alien ripley scenario is ultimately not exploited to its full potential  i would have liked deeper exploration into the quandary of becoming one of the species she has spent her entire life trying to destroy  while the settling into triedandtrue formula is a little disconcerting  the formula is triedandtrue for a reason  and jeunet tackles the proceedings with giddy abandon  the alien  after all these years  is still terrifying  and a new breed that is introduced is no less so  the violence is appropriately grisly and extreme  and the action set pieces are suspenseful and exciting  most notably an extended underwater sequence  the film is absolutely mesmerizing visually  thanks to the solid work done by production designer nigel phelps and cinematographer darius khondji  as technically adept as jeunets direction is  perhaps his  and  for that matter  whedons  greatest contribution is the infusion of humor into this notably downbeat and serious series  a sense of humor may seem to go against everything this horror show stands for  but the selfawareness of the excess just adds to the fun  no  alien resurrection is not the great film that ridley scotts alien or the even greater film that james camerons aliens was  but after the dauntingly slow gloom and doom of finchers alien3  jeunets resurrection is a welcome return to its roots as a wild  reckless thrill ride  that is what made the alien series so popular in the first place  and that is what will keep the series popular in any future installments  
pos	most sequels dont do what theyre supposed to do like  toy story 2  does  far too many of them end up rehashing the original and adding very little  is it any wonder that most sequels fail to live up to their predecessors  thankfully   toy story 2  is a wonderful exception  i cant remember the last time i saw a sequel as consistently fun and inventive as this one  its yet another sign that pixar  the acclaimed animation studio behind  toy story  and  a bugs life   is still at the top of its game  woody and buzz are back in the sequel to the 1995 hit  toy story   and things have changed a bit since the last one ended  woody  voiced by tom hanks  is preparing to leave with his owner andy for cowboy camp  in his absence  he has assigned buzz lightyear  tim allen   now comfortable in his role as a toy  to take charge  unfortunately  woodys trip is ruined when he is accidentally put into the family garage sale  and is stolen by an overzealous toy collector  wayne knight   off to save him are buzz and members of the old  toy gang   including mr  potato head  don rickles   rex the nervous dinosaur  wallace shawn   hamm the piggy bank  john ratzenberger   and slinky dog  jim varney   while in captivity  woody makes a startling discovery  he is actually part of a collection of toys based on a 1950s childrens show entitled  woodys roundup   he meets the shows other characters  which include jesse  joan cusack   his cowgirl sidekick  the wise old prospector  kelsey grammer   and bullseye  his trusty horse  they have all been anxiously awaiting woodys arrival  as once their set is completed  they will be sold to a japanese toy museum  and finally escape storage forever  this means woody now faces a difficult choice  with his friends coming to rescue him  does he go with them and spend a few more years with andy  or does he go to japan and be immortalized forever  as in the original film   toy story 2  contains firstrate animation  and pixar studios has done a remarkable job improving on the impressive work they did there  reportedly  the film was originally slated for a directtovideo release  but after seeing the improvements that had been made  disney rightly decided to release it into theaters  the film is well worth seeing on the big screen  the colors are bright  the textures sharp  and even the human characters look more  human   the animation is consistently seamless  with the action fast and furious and the facial expressions believable  there are so many impressive sequences that id find it impossible to list them here  but i was particularly wowed by a scene where buzz and his cohorts must get across a busy intersection to get to al s toy barn  the store owned by woodys captor  pixars rendition of the family dog is also nicely done  with fur so realistic you almost feel you could reach out and touch it  the voice work is also perfectly complementary  and as with the first movie  does much to help further character development  tom hanks and tim allen again disappear into their roles as woody and buzz  making you forget who is doing the voice  it was woody and buzz up there  not tom and tim  all the cast members from the original reprise their roles  and each is excellent  several new voices have been added  with joan cusack  kelsey grammer  and wayne knight doing fine work   toy story 2  is strong in characterization  and is able to expand on what we saw in the first movie  woody faces difficult choices  while buzz is confronted with a new buzz who hasnt yet realized his status as a toy  forcing him to see what he used to be like  the new characters are also developed quite well  especially jesse  who narrates a sarah mclachlanaided flashback illustrating how she was loved  then forgotten by her owner  it may be computeranimated  and it may have sappy music  but its downright touching  the script  despite having a story and screenplay each credited to four different writers  is endlessly clever and inventive  especially considering that its a sequel  the reason  toy story 2  works where other movie sequels fail is that it refuses to just capitalize on the originals success by redoing the same story and using the same characters  not this one  we get character change  new characters  and new issues brought up   toy story 2  is also remarkable for the way in which it keeps reinventing itself  there is always another clever idea waiting just around the corner here  the humor is sharp and witty  with something to amuse both kids and adults  there are funny asides to films such as  star wars  and  jurassic park   among others  new takes on classic toys like barbie and rock em sock em robots  and appearances from other pixar efforts  a bugs life  and the 1997 short  geri s game    geri himself makes an appearance as a toy repairman who fixes woodys broken arm   the action is fast and furious  and the chases  in the street  in a toy store  in an elevator  on a baggage carousel  and in an airplane  keep getting bigger and better   toy story 2  never grows stagnant  because there is always something new to hold your interest  the more you pay attention to it  the more rewarding it is  its rare to see a film like  toy story 2  come along  because its the kind of film thats almost impossible to dislike  its created purely to entertain  and though i enjoy a thoughtprovoking drama as much as the next person  its nice to see that films are still trying to do exactly what movies first tried to do  send us out with a smile  its a fair bet that the whole family will have smiles on their collective faces after seeing  toy story 2   its the rare sequel that manages to expand on  and live up to  the original  
pos	expectation rating  a bit worse than expected  mainly because i found the middle part to be a bit dull   roger ebert gave it a four star review  and while he is a critic that uses the full scale  and i often agree  such as dark city being the best film of 1998  he must have seen a better film  i read the book about five years ago and hugely enjoyed it  the opening of a simple plan reminded me a bit of the sweet hereafter  the landscape is snowy and cold  and is filmed what i feel is in a rather crisp manner  which also reminds me of fargo  which i loathed    one can almost sense the cold  but the movie far from the eye popping delights of the quick and the dead  instead raimi has made a more constrained film  which probably is for the better  this is probably not a movie that would have been improved by lots of odd shots  the movie also reminded me of affliction  as the lead characters all seem to be hoping for and seeing a possibility to lead a better life than their father  and they see a chance for such a dream to come true  this chance is uncovered in a snow covered field  where an airplane has crash landed  in the plane three men find  the american dream    in a gym bag   affliction too was set in a snowy landscape  it really seems very simple  just hold on to the money until spring  and if no one claims it  theyll be safe to spend it and their hope of experiencing the american dream can come true  but the snow melts  and so might several of the characters hopes  as in  return to paradise   some of the characters are presented with a chance to do the right thing  but doing the right thing might not result in a better result than something more selfish  the movies biggest strength is that it fact makes sense  i have seen many movies based on books that just seem like selected scenes from the book visualized  eschewing anything remotely resembling a coherent story  for example clear and present danger  the biggest problem seems to overfamiliarization with the story  the writer perhaps feels that he doesnt have to present scenes that are clear to him  but the lack of which only baffles an audience which has not read the book  this is definitely not the problem with a simple plan  even though the screenplay is by the books author  the movie is always clear on where its going  and always makes sense  im sue a lot was cut  but really i cant remember what  even a minor scene involving a man complaining that he has paid for too much grains is included  the man only comes in on mondays  but he claims that he has been charged for one purchase too many  turns out    well  see the movie  one should be warned against seeing the trailer  it reveals several scenes from the ending moments  which yes  like in the book  it is a downer   several plot developments  and much of the beginning  but much of this is not spelled directly out during the trailer  so if youre lucky  youll have forgotten about all of this when you see the movie  
pos	it is simply amazing how  the green mile  developed in its three hour running time  based on the stephen king series of the same title  the film starts out painfully slow  with underdeveloped characters and idiotic dialogue  however  as the plot begins to progress  the film turns into pure perfection with outstanding performances and wonderful direction  frank darabont  who masterfully followed a prisoners story in  the shawshank redemption   this time follows the perspective of a prison guard  paul edgecomb  tom hanks   through edgecombs experiences on a cell block known as the green mile where death row prisoners wait and repent  the audience sees good and evil on both sides of the law  from an evil prison guard to an evil prisoner   the green mile  is successful in creating sympathy for kindhearted hard working guards and hard thinking prisoners  the plot follows edgecomb and four other guards as they meet a variety of prisoners and after having strong relationships with each eventually are forced to execute them  the performances by veterans and new comers to back up these original characters are superb  the ensemble acting in the film is perfect  hanks  david morse and barry pepper as guards are wonderful and are fitting for their roles  they are the characters we most relate to because of their calm less extreme roles  they are given the positions to make rational decisions at difficult times and they are the ones who fulfill the demands of the audience  the more unique characters perfectly create friction on the green mile and make the story interesting and exciting  some particularly note worthy roles of the unique characters include doug hutchinson  sam rockwell  and michael duncan  hutchinson  playing percy wetmore  a cowardly guard who hides his true feelings by tormenting others gives the greatest performance of the movie  every time he appears on the screen  the attitude of others is very uncomfortable and the creepy expressions he is able to create are effectively terrifying  it would come as no surprise if hutchinson was nominated for an academy award as best supporting actor  not only because he did a wonderful job as wetmore  but also because he stole every scene he was in away from veteran oscar winner tom hanks  rockwell  an independent film veteran  plays his role as wild bill wharton to perfection  as a prisoner who taunts and harasses the guards at all hours  he really gets under your skin and irritates you for having to watch him torture others  this irritation he creates makes his performance so believable  the last noteworthy performance belongs to duncan  as the enormous convicted killer john coffey who happens to hold the power of curing the ill  duncan does a wonderful job playing a frightened childlike behemoth  very similar to lennie small in of mice and men  his desire for love and the extinction of hate evokes the most compassion because it is very obvious that he is suffering for no just cause  his pain creates pain for the viewer  however  it takes over an hour for duncan to be introduced completely in the film  the film opens with a ridiculous present day setting which contains a scene that jabs at  the jerry springer show   the scene  containing one old man complaining about how all guests on the show are inbred and rednecks  not only is this observation entirely pointless and out of place  but it is also hackneyed beyond all belief  as the film flashes back to 1935  graham greene is quickly executed without any introduction  his death seems very rushed and without any knowledge of who he is  the scene is neither sad nor convincing  greene is not even given a final word  like some of the other characters  and we dont even see him walk the infamous green mile  however  as the film begins to specifically introduce more characters  such as coffey and eduard delacroix  michael jeter  as well as the five prison guards  the film becomes more interesting  the speed in  the green mile  is perfect  if time was a matter of concern and the film was edited to the two hour mark  it would have been unsatisfactory because we would not be able to know the characters as they are or as they treat others  the three hour running is perfect for plot development and by the end of the film  a great amount of love or hate is attached to each character   the green mile  is so good following the rough beginning  that when the pivotal moment at the very end finally comes  it is almost impossible not to feel some sort of sadness for every person in this scene  fighting back tears was a difficult task that i barely succeeded in doing  if you survive the first third of  the green mile  sit back and enjoy the remainder for some priceless entertainment  
pos	the jekyll and hyde story told from his maids point of view is  in a word   dark   you wouldnt expect something bright and cheery based on robert louis stevensons novel  but the film is surprisingly dreary and dismal  jekyllhyde  john malkovich  is terminally depressed and desperate  mary reilly  julia roberts  is a victim of monstrous child abuse and the antiwoman sentiment of the times  director stephen fears version of the london slums makes us marvel that anyone survived them  the lighting level is exceedingly low throughout the movie  it almost appears to be filmed in black and white  the direction and cinematography are brilliant and liquid  scenes flow into the next scene like honey oozing off a strawberry   except theres no red  of course   the look is so moody and melodramatic that youll be shocked when you leave the theater  i saw it at a matinee and took quite a while to adjust to the sunny skies afterward  often the jekyll and hyde archetypes are viewed as splitting a whole person into components of good and evil or perhaps cerebral and emotional parts  here the doctor is intellectual and perhaps good  but certainly powerless  his alter ego is forceful and totally without conscience  two parts that make up a whole  neither are capable of functioning without the other and once separated  disaster is inevitable  the differences between the two characters would be more effective if it were accomplished by demeanor and attitude  when we finally see the transformation  the special effects thrust the story into the realm of science fiction  not the psychological horror that the tale demands  roberts and malkovich are skillful in their roles  both are suitably melancholy  fitting in with the rest of the film  the only flash of life and color comes from glenn close  and her lips  as the madam of a whorehouse where hyde lives  and surprisingly  jekyll apparently frequents  life and color maybe  but this is not closes best role  she seems little more than a cardboard cutout character  a beautiful film in its own dreary way  youll appreciate the filmmaking craft  but dont expect to leave in an upbeat mood  
pos	aggressive  bleak  and unrelenting film about an interracial couple  steve and sam  damon jones and elexa williams respectively   who are viciously attacked in a parking garage one night by a gang of skinheads  the skinheads beat steve  then force him to watch as they brutally rape his girlfriend over and over again  when sam kills herself later that evening  steve decides that the skinheads must be taught a lesson  waiting seven months for the thuggish skinheads to forget about the incident entirely  steve shaves his head  dresses in combat boots and suspenders  tattoos his flesh with nazi symbols  and tries to infiltrate the gang  as he gets closer and closer to the people who committed the horrible crime against his girlfriend  he begins to learn just how vicious these people really are and starts to question his own motives for violence  randolph krets script  based on two real life incidents that affected not only his life but the life of the films producer shaun hill  is an affront on violence and intolerance  the film causes its audience to be subjected to such brutality and ignorance that one cant help but be disgusted by the events presented within  ive seen it said that this is the film fight club should have been  but david finchers film was trying to define a generation  krets film is a wake up call to a generation and his message is a powerful one  if fincher is the kubrick of our generation  then kret is our d  w  griffith  thematically speaking   there is not a single likable character in the film  the skinheads are obviously the most repulsive characters in the film  not only because of their beliefs but because they are in a constant state of fury  not just against other races but within their own circles   the africanamerican characters in the film are constantly shown as sexually assaulting drug abusers who are always on a joyride looking for someone to accost  even gay men get in on the act  locating the skinheads lair and beating them severely with lead pipes and other blunt objects  the main character steve is also unlikable because of the person he becomes just to seek out revenge  what all of this comes down to is the simple message that violence begets violence  and the constant clashes between factions will do nothing but continue the endless cycle of violence inherent in our society  the cast of this film is absolutely remarkable  damon jones shows a raw energy that many actors cant seem to summon these days and his performance seems nothing less than powerful  his initial reaction to hearing about his girlfriends suicide is one of the most affecting scenes i have ever seen in a film  david lee wilson  who plays  appropriately enough  david lee is accurately evil as the second in command skinhead who also makes extra money performing oral sex on other men  an irony that seems lost on the other skinheads   wilsons character is pure hatred and he brings out this hate perfectly  sadly  actor dave ward  who portrays the character of crew  will not be able to follow up his excellent performance as he was the victim of a vicious act of violence himself at the hands of a fellow actor during an incident of road rage  ward showed immense promise and he will be greatly missed  note  it is a shame that the filmmakers had to add a disclaimer to the end of the film stating that neither they nor the musicians contributing music for the film condone racism  the message about hatred couldnt be spelled out any more clearly than it is here  but there are those who would probably find this film much more akin to a training video than a condemnation  there are no  winners  at the end of this film either  no character gets his or her comeuppance and the ending leaves us almost right where we began  where american history x had redemption for most of its characters  no such victories are in store for pariahs band of twisted souls  it is this bleak ending that carries the films most powerful message  the message that  despite what you may be able to momentarily do to put your own mind to rest  evil will still be with us  and in many forms  and there is very little than can be done to eradicate it entirely  
pos	gothic murdermystery yarns are not a new conceit  in fact  theyve been around in books and on film for many  many years  without the proper handling  they come off as oldfashioned  bland  and outdated   the gift   directed by sam raimi  is a triedandtrue effort that surprises very little  and includes everything from a wide array of suspects and red herrings  to mansions in the deep south with moss trees out front  to the eventual discovery of a waterlogged corpse found in a nearby pond  its fairly obvious who the killer is  in fact  i predicted who it would be before the movie began and was correct in my preliminary suspicions  the film ultimately shouldnt work  but it does  thanks to a sparkling cast that fills each character with so many memorable nuances  the most fun to be had is in simply watching the people interact with each other  annie wilson  cate blanchett  is a recently widowed mother of three sons who makes her living giving psychic readings to the residents of her backwater southern hometown  some of her mainstay clients include valerie barksdale  hilary swank   who is severely abused by her husband donnie  keanu reeves   and buddy cole  giovanni ribisi   an unstable mechanic who is confused by the nightmares hes been having about a mysterious blue diamond that is somehow linked to his father  for annie  she does not give the readings merely for money  but uses it as a way of seeking solace in finding the good in everyones future  her late grandmother  rosemary harris  told her as a child that it was a gift she was given  and she should always remember that  when annies eldest son is involved in a fight at school  she meets the niceguy school principal  wayne collins  greg kinnear   whom she finds herself attracted to  but wayne is engaged to the wealthy jessica king  katie holmes   whom annie immediately gets a negative vibe about  at a party with her best friend linda  kim dickens   annie stumbles upon jessica in a compromising position with lawyer david duncan  gary cole   soon after  jessica has disappeared  leaving everyone in a frenzy over what could have possibly happened to her  and annie starts to have nightmares and apparitions linking jessica with the vicious redneck donnie barksdale  and the pond behind his home   the gift  may be cliched on a sheer storytelling level  but the performances and tight direction from raimi  who has redeemed himself for his embarrassing last film  1999s  for love of the game   lift the picture up several notches  slowly enveloping the viewer into the many intriguing characters and their individual plights  the disappearance of jessica at the 30minute mark divulges the movies true intentions and transforms the proceedings into a taut  at times frightening  horrormystery  at the center of the film is the exceptional cate blanchett  1999s  the talented mr  ripley    who turns annie wilson from what could have been little more than a runofthemill protagonist into a very exact  downtoearth  realistic person with valid troubles and a caring attitude towards those around her  blanchett takes the unextraordinary material and runs with it  giving the entire film a truly classy aura that it otherwise might not have had  we follow her at every turn because she is so mesmerizing  both as a character and an actress  blanchett isnt the only bright performer  as she is ably supported by one of the best casts of the year  in her first role following her oscar win for 1999s  boys dont cry   hilary swank is excellent as the confused valerie  who seeks guidance from annie  but is too scared to take her biggest advice of all  to leave the grossly abusive donnie  as donnie  keanu reeves  2000s  the watcher   makes an utterly convincing backwoods meanie  so much so that it is difficult to believe he is an actor at all  for the oftencriticized reeves  whose acting abilities have never been the best  this is the biggest compliment he could possibly get  and it is also one of the better performances he has given  giovanni ribisi  2000s  the boiler room   is heartbreaking as a mentally slow young man who sees annie as his only friend  and wants her to do nothing but help him understand why he is being plagued by bad dreams about his dad  in the small  but pivotal role of the sleazy jessica king  katie holmes  2000s  wonder boys   has turned in yet another stunning supporting turn  her promiscuous role of jessica is one she has never played before  and she is radiant in her few scenes  finally  kim dickens  2000s  hollow man   makes her usual strong impression as annies spicy best friend  linda  the other notable aspect of  the gift  is its moody atmosphere that lays such a thickly foreboding air over every scene its almost suffocating  thanks to cleverly construed editing by arthur coburn and bob murawski  and the successful use of different eerie sounds effects and a very good music score by christopher young  the movie not only achieves a scary undercurrent  but one that is filled with dread  helped along by a strong screenplay by billy bob thornton and tom epperson  which makes the most of its setting and delightful cast   the gift  is that rarest of thrillers that actually thrills  and offers up a fair share of chills  too  it may not be groundbreakingly original  but it sure is an entertaining ride for the duration of its running time  
pos	one of the best things about my job is that  every so often  a film still catches me by surprise   spy kids  certainly did  an adventure story aimed primarily at children  the movie is smart  zippy fun  the production neither panders nor talks down to its audience  the brother and sister at the center of the tale are believable  likable kids and their parents are  get ready for this  intelligent  capable and loving  bathroom humor is kept to a minimum and the numerous wellstaged action scenes avoid excessive violence  what a relief it is to be able to review an allages film on its artistic merits and not its ethics  consider the other pg rated  family friendly  movie in theaters now   see spot run  has a mother going out of town  leaving her son with an idiot neighbor  body function humor abounds  including a slapstick bit that has the adult male lead repeatedly falling in dog poop  what really disturbs me are the jokes that bookend the film  the story begins with a police dog capturing a mobster and biting off one of his testicles in the process  at the hospital  the doctors explain that they replaced the testicle with a metal ball and joke that the victim is lucky the dog didnt bit off the other one  because two metal replacement balls would clack together  of course  the movie ends with the dog biting off the remaining testicle and shows prisoners laughing at the criminal as he clacks past their cells  somebody clue me in  when did genital mutilation become funny   spy kids  is a welcome antidote to the repellent  see spot run   using imagination instead of cruelty and crudeness  carmen  alexa vega  and her younger brother juni  daryl sabara  live in a beautiful seaside home with their parents  gregorio  antonio banderas  and ingrid cortez  carla gugino   mom and dad are a sultry couple devoted to their children  what the kids dont know is that they are also former spies  once agents from different countries assigned to  erase  each other  they instead fell in love  married and retired to raise a family  needless to say  they get drawn back to the business  shortly into their first joint mission  they are captured and end up in the headquarters of fegan floop  alan cumming   a foppish hybrid of willy wonka and pee wee herman who hosts junis favorite tv show  but there is evil behind the scenes  as inventors prepare an army of robots disguised as children  papa gregorio has the device necessary to radically increase the efficiency of the creatures and the bad guys will stop at nothing to get it from him  back at home   uncle  felix  cheech marin  shows up to reveal mom and dads secret to the kids  after a brief respite at a safe house filled with enough cool gadgets for a dozen sharper image stores  carmen and juni set off to find their parents and save the world  zooming through the sea in a submarine pod that looks like a goldfish  while a slew of wicked people  including teri hatcher  chase them  during the course of their adventures  they get to use jet packs  electroshock bubblegum and supercomputer sunglasses  they watch as secret agents are transformed into bizarre creatures with silly putty faces and used as background characters on floops tv show  they deal with guards that have huge thumbs where their arms  legs and heads would normally be  why are the guards so ineffective  because theyre all thumbs   they move from one colorful locale to another  including a nifty virtual reality room reminiscent of the holodeck from  star trek   the storyline is silly and convoluted  but even at its most dense  it is easier to follow than either  mission  impossible  movie  director robert rodriguez   from dusk to dawn   maintains a frenetic pace  with the whole film clocking in at a mere 86 minutes  a bit less action and a little more character development would have been nice  but he does provide enough quiet moments for viewers to become fully invested in the family  alexa vega and daryl sabara make an agreeable brother and sister team  squabbling the way kids do  but coming together when it counts  antonio banderas and carla gugino are even better as the parents  they quickly establish and maintain a great lusty chemistry while keeping their tongues properly in cheek during the action scenes  even the usually irritating alan cumming has some nice moments  a virtual cloudbacked chat between his character and juni is one of the best segments in the film  had rodriguez added a few more scenes like that  i would have enjoyed the film more  and i definitely could have lived without the glaring product placement for a certain mcubiquitous company   regardless   spy kids  is a hoot  offering fun for adults and children alike  and just think  they managed to do it without sacrificing a single testicle  
pos	of all the films ive come to see this year  1997   i think only chasing amy had as many  laughoutloud  moments  im not saying that i was hysterically rolling on the floor while watching waiting for guffman  but my mouth burst open with at least a delighted guffaw at least every couple of minutes  and i think im the kind of person that laughs least at movies  even when i find them funny  usually all you can get out of me is a warm smile  so to get me laughing out loud  and so frequently  is a really good sign  waiting for guffman is the story of blaine  missouri  a town celebrating its 150th anniversary  and the musical that is being put on for the big event  the play is being directed by corky st  clair  christopher guest  who also wrote and directed this  mockumentary  as well as cowriting several original musical numbers   the effeminate broadway hopeful determined to make this production a smashing success  teaming up with st  clair are a handful of blaine residents  allan pearl  eugene levy   a jewish dentist who spent his youth not as the class clown  but sitting right next to him and studying him  ron and sheila albertson  fred willard and catherine ohara respectively   a married couple setting their sights on hollywood  libby mae brown  parker posey   the dense but fun queen of the dairy queen  and a few others  everybody in this movie is brilliant  absolutely so  but levy particularly stands out  these characters are portrayed with such saddening realism that you cant help but love them  as pathetic as they really are  although levy stands out  guest  willard  ohara  and posey are all wonderful and definitely should be commended for their performances  if there was an oscar for an ensemble performance  this is the group that should sweep it  some humor was a tad uneven from the rest of the film and  even after starting very humorously  they nearly lost me with the tadtoolong intros  as delightful as it was  it began to get monotonous  thankfully  just as your about to say  ok  maybe i should run to the bathroom   they finally get past the intros and onto the rehearsal scenes  like a play  this film gives a very threeact feel  the intros  funny  but almost too long   the rehearsals  even funnier   and finally  the actual performance of the play  excellent    like i said  each character really shines  even when done with a subtle approach  you cant really watch these people and not think theyre real people  even they way they talk  with awkward pauses and stumbles that dont feel staged at all  you feel like youre watching a real  albeit funny  documentary  and even with silly lyrics  the original songs when the play is finally put on  are absolutely wonderful  as a word of note  despite its  r  rating  waiting for guffman is really quite clean  this rating came from a brief  very brief use of the granddaddy of all swear words  even if that really bothers you  let me say that its not presented in a vulgar  cheaplaugh way  its actually quite humorous and tastefully done  it might be hard knowing what to expect with waiting for guffman  its silly humor  but its also so dry  subtle  and intelligently done that youre not insulted by it  its always really nice to see a comedy that isnt all slapstick and vulgarity  and this film is one of the better ones of the better ones  id recommend seeing it  
pos	in essence  good will hunting is an ordinary story told well  taken as a whole  theres little thats special about this tale  it follows a traditional narrative path  leaves the audience with a warm  fuzzy feeling  and never really challenges or surprises us  but its intelligently written  with dialogue that is occasionally brilliant   strongly directed  and nicely acted  so  while good will hunting is far from a lateyear masterpiece  its a worthwhile sample of entertainment  like scent of a woman  which was released around this time of the season five years ago  good will hunting is about the unlikely friendship that develops between a worldweary veteran and a cocky young man  the formula for the two films is similar  both of the principals learn from each other as they slowly break down their barriers on the way to a better understanding of life and their place in it  but the characters are different  al pacinos slade was a largerthanlife individual  robin williams sean mcguire is much more subtle  and matt damons will hunting uses pugnaciousness to supplant the blandness of chris odonnells charlie  will is a troubled individual  as a child  he was the frequent victim of abuse  an orphan  he was in and out of foster homes on a regular basis  now  not yet 21 years old  he has accumulated an impressive rap sheet  he has a short temper and any little incident can set him off like a spark in a tinder box  but hes a mathematical genius with a photographic memory and the ability to conceive simple solutions to complex problems  while working as a janitor at mit  he delights in anonymously proving theorems on the math buildings hall blackboards  then  one evening  his anonymity is shattered when professor lambeau  stellan skarsgard  catches him at work  will flees  but lambeau tracks him down  unfortunately  by the time the professor finds him  will is in jail for assaulting a police offer  the judge agrees to release will under two conditions  that he spend one day a week meeting with lambeau and that he spend one day a week meeting with a therapist  eventually  once several psychologists have rejected the belligerent young man  sean mcguire  a teacher at bunker hill community college  agrees to take the case  after a rocky start  the two form a rapport and will begins to explore issues and emotions he had walled up behind impregnable armor  and  as will advances his selfawareness in sessions with sean  he also learns about friendship from his buddy  chuckie  ben affleck   and love from a harvard coed named skylar  minnie driver   the script  by costars matt damon and ben affleck  is not a groundbreaking piece of literature  and occasionally resorts to shameless manipulation  the characters are welldeveloped  however  and there are times when the dialogue positively sparkles  at one point  will comments that a session with sean is turning into a  tasters choice moment   later  will gives a brilliant  breathless diatribe against the nsa that has the rhythm of something written by kevin smith   note  since smith coexecutive produced good will hunting  its not out of the question that he had some input into this scene   director gus van sant  drugstore cowboy  to die for  culls genuine emotion from his actors  and this results in several affecting and powerful scenes  theres an edginess to some of the seanwill therapy sessions  and the offscreen chemistry between matt damon and minnie driver  who became romantically linked while making this film  translates effectively to the movie  the willskylar relationship is electric  likewise  the companionability of damon and affleck is apparent in the easygoing nature of will and chuckies friendship  many of the individual scenes are strong enough to earn good will hunting a recommendation  even if the overall story is somewhat generic  matt damon  who recently starred as the idealistic young lawyer in the rainmaker  is solid  although not spectacular  as will  minnie driver  last seen in grosse pointe blank  adds another strong performance to a growing resume  and its refreshing that she was allowed to keep her british accent rather than having to attempt an american one   the outstanding performance of the film belongs to robin williams  whose sean is sad and wise  funny and somber  arguably the best dramatic work in the actors career  alongside what he did in the fisher king   williams portrayal could earn him a best supporting actor oscar nomination  adequate support is provided by ben affleck  chasing amy  and stellan skarsgard  breaking the waves   like most of what comes before it  the ending of good will hunting is completely predictable  but meeting expectations and following a familiar path arent always bad things in a movie  provided the film accomplishes those goals with a modicum of style and an attention to detail  good will hunting does both  and  as a result  earns a rating commensurate with the  good  in the title  
pos	clue is an unfairly ignored comedy  very similar to 1976s murder by death  this big screen version of the classic board game  whats next    chutes and ladders  the motion picture   is filled with slapstick antics and silly dialogue  the plot  for what its worth  has all the characters from the game  in this case  the names from the game are used as aliases  meeting in an isolated mansion to confront mr  boddy  lee ving   the man whos been blackmailing them all  when he turns up dead  everyone  including the audience  must figure out whodunnit    and in what room  and with what object  while not as witty as neil simons murder by death  clue definitely has it moments  it has so many moments in fact that i use a lot of the lines from the film when im joking around with my friends  to this day  whenever someone says the phrase  well  to make a long story short  i have the follow up phrase  too late  ready to go  the cast  all very good comedic talents  play well off one another  while the late madeline kahn  as the dark and sultry mrs  white  sometimes steals the film away from the rest  and colleen camp  as the french maid yvette  displays some of her natural talents as well  clue is available on dvd from paramount home video  it includes the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  85  1  and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions  and features the original theatrical trailer  a french language audio track is also available  the trailer holds up well considering most previews from that time do not  and it even includes a scene not in the film itself  a scene that should have been in the film  as its a good joke   also  the trailer is scored to the music from airplane   which was an interesting choice  when clue played in theaters  it ran with the gimmick of three different endings  if you wanted to see all three  you had to go to the movies three separate times  so when the film was released on home video  rather than releasing three separate videos  all three endings were included on one tape    the first two endings being  what if   endings and the third ending being the actual ending  now for the dvd release you get two choices  you can watch the film as it was presented on home video or you can select to watch it with one of the three endings randomly chosen for you   note  theres an easter egg hidden in the disc pertaining to this  after watching the film with a randomly selected ending  when you return to the menu screen you will be able to highlight the large magnifying glass and select it  when you do  a secret menu opens  allowing you to watch any of the three endings by themselves   now while i applaud the effort of paramount here  as they clearly tried to do something special with the disc  it just doesnt work well  first  why not give the viewer the choice of what ending we want to watch  maybe someone like myself whos seen the movie hundreds of times would like to sit down and show it to someone with the second ending only  im no technical dvd expert  but i cant imagine that being too hard to accomplish  secondly  the delay between when the film itself ends and one of the endings begins is too long and too obvious  thereby becoming a distraction right when you definitely dont need a distraction  finally  the back of the dvd case states  and now  with this special dvd version  you can see all 3 surprise endings   i have no idea why they would word it that way  since thats not a special feature in the slightest  the video has been out for fifteen years now  good lord  has it been that long   and its played on television with all three endings all the time  these are merely minor complaints however  seeing that ive watched the home video version hundreds of times and have no problem watching the film as such on the dvd  the picture and sound are wonderfully improved over my worn out vhs copy  and im thrilled that paramount agrees with me that clue is a film worthy of being preserved on this great digital format  pg 
pos	the dream team is a thoroughly entertaining comedy featuring four loveable characters who just happen to be slightly insane  billy  played by michael keaton  is an extremely temperamental mental ward patient whose short fuse and violent tantrums tend to get him in trouble  christopher lloyd portrays henry  an obsessivecompulsive who requires that everything be neat  orderly  on schedule  and by the books  he thinks hes a doctor so he walks around wearing a suit and carrying a clipboard on which he constantly scribbles notes and files reports  jack  played by peter boyle  thinks hes jesus  and finally  theres stephen furst as albert  a chubby catatonic who speaks only in baseball and television phrases  the dream team follows the misadventures that beset the foursome when their psychiatrist  dr  weitzman  takes them out of the hospital for a field trip to yankee stadium  during a pit stop  they get separated from weitzman and are left to fend for themselves in manhattan  the movies charm derives mostly from the camaraderie and chemistry between its delightful cast  the four leads in the film play off each other quite effectively  they never miss an opportunity to argue  bicker  or insult one another  henry and jack  for example  fight over whos going to get to ride in the front passenger seat on the way to the game  the actors in the dream team have a lot of fun with their characters and with each other  michael keaton is well cast as billy  he gives his cynical character considerable complexity  as the divinely jack  peter boyle succeeds in keeping his onedimensional character funny and fresh  although stephen fursts catatonic character is cliched  the actor makes him sympathetic and endearing  while keaton  boyle  and furst are good  its christopher lloyd who really makes the movie special  lloyd gives yet another outstanding comic performance  his body language  for example  the way he walks  and his facial expressions are perfectly suited to his compulsive character  lloyds brilliant performance yields a pathetic  moving  and memorable character  the dream team is a solid comedy with more depth and drama than you might expect from its simple premise  the characters are so appealing that you can excuse the film for its often outlandish and unbelievable plot  
pos	people who enjoy science fiction are often faced with unpleasant surprises due to the improper labelling of novels  stories  comic books or movies  often science fiction aficionados find material  previously labelled as science fiction  to be pure fantasy or supernatural horror  or rather simple technothriller  in such cases  mistakes are understandable  genre boundaries are never clearly marked  but  i believe there are really few cases when a movie labelled as science fiction actually happens to be straight historical epic  such thing occurred in former yugoslavia some fifteen years ago  when national distributors gave such treatment to the right stuff  1983 film directed by philip kaufman  the mistake of the distributors could be explained with the fact that the official poster of the film features men in space suits  but the right stuff film isnt even fiction  it was based on the nonfiction book by tom wolfe  covering the early years of american space program  the plot of the film begins in 1947 when few people heard of edwards air force base  major test site for experimental planes  the major aim of test flights is to determine ability of manned aircraft to reach 1 mach speed and thus break the sound barrier  many pilots tried to achieve that goal and many paid with their lives for such bravado  but one quiet pilot  chuck eager  played by sam shaped  succeeds and thus gives example for whole new generation of test pilots  determined to enter history books by breaking new speed records  ten years later  soviets have launched  sputnik  marking the beginning of the space age  in order to regain national prestige  us government decides to be the first to send man into space  best air force  navy and marine pilots are recruited into program  but not yeager  because he lacks college education and desired allamerican image  in one of critics polls the right stuff was named as one among top 10 films made in 1980s  such high position could be explained with the fact that kaufmans film looks quite atypical for its time  with more than three hours of length and epic scope it looked more suitable for 1950s and 1960s  age when hollywood used to make films larger than life  but the real reason lies in the fact that it was made by truly remarkable and talented filmmaker  philip kaufman created reputation in 1970s by using all the opportunities of that golden age in order to create original  memorable movies  the right stuff was the last of them  swan song of an era when producers allowed directors to spend big bucks on unusual  risktaking  artsy  projects  the right stuff is unusual because it lacks many standard elements of hollywood film  the plot is almost nonexistent and not very coherent  the story  featuring many interesting incidents and anecdotes  shifts focus from the old generation of test pilots  embodied in yeager  to new generation of the astronauts  the film also lacks conventional protagonist  yeager  who also appears in small cameo  remains the true hero of the film  but equal time and exposure is also given to other astronauts and their wives  making this movie into ensemble piece  that gave opportunity for kaufman to use multitude of great acting talents  until that specialised only for bit or character roles  sam shepard is great as yeager  war hero whose greatest achievement  breech of the sound barrier  remained obscured in history books  probably due to his own modesty  on the surface  he lacks personality compared with his hyped and more fortunate astronaut colleagues  but shepard gives texture to this character with subtle gestures and phrases  shepards performance is followed with great acting by ed harris as cleancut marine  and future politician  john glenn  young dennis quaid is more than fine as arrogant fighter jock gordo cooper  and this arrogance is mirrored in his friend and most tragic figure of virgil grissom  superbly played by fred ward  always reliable character actor scott glenn provides some comic relief as navy aviator and  arguably  first american man in space alan shepard  kaufman left room for female talents to excel too  barbara hershey  pamela reed  veronica cartwright and mary jo deschanel are great as pilots wives  royal dano is also impressive as menacing figure of preacher  but the most memorable performances belong to donald moffat as vicepresident lyndon b  johnson and jane dornacker as nurse murch  great acting talent assembled for this film was mirrored with kaufmans superb direction  most notable of all is the methods kaufman uses in order to suggest the passage of time  the beginning of the film shows test pilots living in the middle of desert  as virtual unknowns  far away from strict rules and discipline  everything seems natural yeager can indulge himself in horse riding just few yards away from the fastest and most precious aircraft in the world  in that setting  its quite normal for important technical problems to be solved with simple chainsaw and for the test pilots not to report their ribs being broken before most important flights  but the times are changing  ww2 alliance with ussr is replaced with cold war  and  natural  pilots like yeager must be replaced with more disciplined  conventional pilots  their entire lives become focus of media frenzy  and their job is subjected to strict rules  meticulous plans and they must fight the bureaucrats  publicityseeking politicians and uncaring scientists  like former nazi rocket expert werner von braun  played by scott beach  only to preserve their most basic human dignity  this contrast is underlined with the beautifully edited sequence  while yeager conducts his final and most spectacular test flight in absolute obscurity   mercury  astronauts receive fame and fortune  although some of them even before going in the space  those contrasts and similar effects are achieved with kaufmans superb use of poetic movie language  editing is great  and photography by caleb deschanel provides many memorable scenes like the funeral in the desert or astronauts in their suits walking in slow motion  the same image would be copied in many latter films   although kaufman enjoyed support of nasa and american military  which provided authentic locations and period equipment  he still had to use special effects in order to simulate space flights  those effects are excellent and they can still fool the audience accustomed to cgi and real footage of earth from outer space  another fine contribution of this film is  oscar  awarded musical score by bill conti  i still tremble from excitement every time i hear it  it is accompanied with the use of holst and debussy  some of the songs used in the background also provide authentic atmosphere of the historical period  this film is great  and its cult status is well deserved  but there are some minor flaws  some of the  mercury  astronauts arent fleshed out enough  although being played by fine actors  like lance henriksen   film also lacks proper closure  on the other hand  most logical conclusion of the film  landing on the moon  would require this film to be more than six hours long  also  some critics were prone to attack this film as too amerocentric and hard on russians  who were portrayed as evil monsters  just in line with most virulent cold war rhetoric of reagans america  in some of contemporary interviews  kaufman defended that approach by claiming that he wanted to make film as authentic as possible  and in order to do that  he portrayed russians not as they were in real life  but as they were perceived by americans in early 1960s  time has passed  now we dont see astronauts as heroes  in this age of widespread satellite communications and routine space missions  those men and women in space suits are seen as mere maintenance workers  few young boys want to be astronauts when they grow up  but this film  sentimental reminder of the times  when future began   perhaps could encourage at least some of them to follow  mercury  astronauts footsteps seek new frontiers in the sky  and even if they decide to stay on earth  they could still appreciate the right stuff as an extraordinary piece of cinema  
pos	i find most of television so intensely boring that i simply never turn on my set  unless im watching a movie  i dont even have cable  so i went to radio shack to buy an antenna specifically for the purpose of watching  the xfiles  every sunday night  its the only show thats worth an hour of my time each week  though  since i dont watch reruns  im glad that i have six months of the year to avoid television altogether   i am an avid fan of the show  and have been for about three years now  and i love gillian anderson  the xfiles is the film that continues the story where the season finale left off  the film is like a twohour episode  except that there are a lot more special effects  the plot is thicker  and the resolution is more satisfying  this is a terrific film  both for fans of the series and for those who have never seen it  i imagine that viewers unfamiliar with the show will find the film to be solid and riveting entertainment   i expected to like it more than any episode ive seen  and my expectations were met  actually  the film takes a few risks in its story and plot devices  but  thankfully  the makers managed to do it right  when the finale ended  the fbi branch known as the xfiles had been destroyed  and our heroes  mulder  david duchovny  and scully  gillian anderson  were left stripped of five years of hard work  the film picks up soon after  and mulder and scully have been reduced to field agents investigating a bomb threat in a federal building  but wait  im getting ahead of myself  the film actually opens in the ice age  about 32  000 years prior  during which a couple of prehistoric guys get attacked by a vicious alien  the aliens blood infects them  fans of the show will certainly remember the black cancer   and the story jumps into modern times  during which a young boy is also infected with the cancer  it turns out that the bomb was planted to kill the boy  and mulder and scully uncover the coverup despite the fact that scully has resigned from her position in the fbi  soon  they find out that the whole thing has to do with aliens  as ive written before  its not easy to write plot summaries for films like this  because everything needs to be a surprise  fans of the show will know what to expect  and i seriously doubt any of them being disappointed with the film  director rob bowman has done a great job expanding the eerie feeling of the show to the big screen  making small adjustments and minor changes to utilize the possibilities that film allows over television  there are some truly suspenseful and wellcreated scenes here  late in the film  when theyre in the alien spacecraft  youll see one of the better action sequences in recent cinema   the special effects are very good  and the production design by christopher nowak is fantastic  what i find interesting is that the xfiles is actually a great way for series neophytes to get into the story  our heroes are given subtle introductions  were not expected to know them on the outset   and the film explains enough of the story that prior knowledge of the series isnt required to understand the film  there are  of course  little elements that the makers have included as payoff to the fans  but ill keep those as surprises  it takes a lot of thought and understanding of the series to create a film using roots as complicated as the ones that the series provides  and then create a coherent film that anyone can understand clearly  the series is strong for a lot of reasons  its original  though it has many ties to  the twilight zone  and owes some homage to hitchcock   and impressively eerie for a television show  what really makes the series shine  however  are the actors  duchovny has so much presence  and is just a fun guy to watch  he has that confidence that will someday make him into a bankable leading man  anderson is equally good  and paralyzingly beautiful  shes also a strong actress  both performers have acted in little more than their series  however  though i think theyll both get their chances to prove themselves very soon  i enthusiastically recommend the xfiles  both for fans and nonfans  1998 is a summer filled with disappointing blockbusters  and this film should satisfy where most of the others leave you completely dry  its an intelligent film  and takes you places that you might not have been  or  at least  might not have seen so many times that they feel familiar   the xfiles is impressive in concept  as well  fans of the series are likely to be highly critical  and to take the premise beyond the series is a risky move  its nice to see a risk pay off for a change  actually  its nice to see a risk at all  
pos	 the celebration  is one of an elite kind of films that is completely absorbant  you know  where you sit down to watch it  and no matter what youve heard about it before  you just cant help but be totally drawn into its story and shocked by every single turn that occurs  i prefer films like these because these are what the best kind of films are like  i dont really feel there are to be any real  rules  for cinema  a film can do anything  as long as it makes it work  but i do ask that all films have one thing in common  they create experiences  when i watch a film  no matter what kind of film it is  i want to be able to take certain memories along with me   the celebration  is great because its chock full of those  it creates a world so completely realistic that everything that occurs is as memorable as the little instances of life that catch your attention and stay with you for the rest of your life  and then it makes things just a tad bit farscial  just to make sure youre paying attention  which you are because what transpires is just so goddam interesting that if you were to ever feel bored  then youre of your attention span needs a bit of a tuningup  the story takes place at the extravagant home of an aging patriarch  henning mortizen   who has just turned 60 and is having a party thrown for him  all his friends and family turn up  and for the first half hour  we get introduced to everyone  simplistically and realistically  no aggravatingly condescending posing for the camera deals here   the eldest son  christian  ulrich thomsen  looking a bit like a young malcolm mcdowell   is the first to be seen in the film  walking to his fathers home  his brother  michael  thomas bo larsen   drives by  pulls over  greets him  then kicks his family out of the car  forcing them to walk to the estate  just so christian can be comfortable  we then meet helene  paprika steen   their sister  a woman who always seems to be stressedout  who invites the driver of her car  gbatokai dakinah   an american  to to come join her at the party shes going to  once theyre all there and settled in  the party begins  and as custom  the eldest son has to make a speech to his dad  so christian stands up  at the head of the table  and reveals the films punchline  his father raped all his children at a young age  but since this is a familyfriends affair  his confession becomes more detested than the supposed truth  and is simply brushed off despite his efforts  and what transpires is sorta like jerry springer crossed with jean renoir  and its all terribly interesting to watch  twists occur  and soon the film has taken on a nearlyfarsical nature  but still seems realistic because the people involved really feel like they could reach such ends  the most notorious thing about this film  which has been getting the most notice  though  is that the director  thomas vinterberg has shot it in a completely awkward fashion  as a member of the danish filmmakers clan  dogme 95  a group that has vowed to oppose  the auteur concept  makeup  illusions  and dramaturgical predictability  so that they may  purge film so that once again the inner lives of the characters justify the plot   i have not seen  breaking the waves   the other notable film by a member of this group  lars von trier  to be exact   but  the celebration  works exquisitely in this department  it feels like reality  like youre actually watching real people and not actors  and as a major pointer  has been shot on video  as a result  it looks more like the home movies you never dare shot of your family than an actual film  but always wanted to  we see key moments in peoples lives that they wouldnt dare show to the world  and it captures the farscial comedy of life so accurately and acutely that this style  as ironicallyshowmanship as it really is  works perfectly for the nature of the film  the key  though  to this film  and the reason its not just a cool danish import  is because this film is not about revealing the truth as much as it is about the way people react to such an explosive truth  throughout the film  we see a completely realized debate over the truth and the effects it has on the lives of those who have learned to live with lies  a debate so threedimensional that it could easily blow oliver stone and his thetruthatallcosts reasoning out of the water  of course it was not right for the father to rape his children  and of course  they couldnt have fought back then  and of course this has created scarring suppression inside them  and yes  its thearapeutic for one to release the truth years later  when they know it could easily destroy the one who emotionally destroyed them earlier  but then again  the father  after all  is not a totally bad guy  and we can see the emotional complications that arise thanks to a performance by mortizen which is just so great and touching that while we do believe that he could have raped his children years earlier  we also see a man who has also learned to live with what hes done  and deep down  feels true guilt that is only now beginning to surface  the final scene  involving mortizen and everyone else  is utterly devastating  thanks to him and thomsen  whose performance is utterly flawless and equally emotionally complex  everyone else is flawless as well  the actors never seem to be stepping into the shoes of their characters as much as they do walking comfortably in them  the actors or writers have not made the mistake to judge these characters in the slightest  there are no whites or blacks but instead all grays  exactly like life  as such   the celebration  may be the one truly bizarro film of the year  a work of art so eerily close to reality that its utterly disturbing and utterly fascinating  
pos	synopsis  shrek  myers  is an ogre living in contented solitude deep in the heart of a forest  until his home is invaded by fairy tale creatures fleeing the rule of the evil lord farquaad  john lithgow   farquaad agrees to relocate the pests  on the condition that shrek rescues princess fiona  diaz   whom farquaad desires to wed  from a faroff castle  grudgingly  shrek sets out  joined in his quest by an unwanted companion  donkey  murphy   review  one memorable aspect of disneys  aladdin  was that it finally gave robin williams a character  the genie  to best take advantage of his comic talents   shrek  does the same for eddie murphy  ironically  though  murphys ideal vessel turns out to be an ass  all the same   shrek  does represent murphys best comic outing in years  and as donkey he steals all the best lines  for instance  after getting belted with pixie dust while trying to conceal his nature as a magical creature  donkey soars into the air and scoffs   now im a flying talking donkey   and despite its many contributors  the script for  shrek  is full of such comic gems  myers is delightful in more of a straight man role  and lithgow also gets some great moments  watch for a hilarious repartee with the gingerbread man    shrek  takes great pleasure in lampooning fairy tales and nursery rhymes of all sorts  and reserves a few delightful knocks at disney in the bargain  things do go somewhat astray during the films middle segment  which concentrates too much on the main characters at the expense of some of the terrific fairy tale satire which is the movies greatest strength  but even then  one can always sit back and enjoy the beautiful computer animation  whose remarkable use here represents yet another dazzling leap forward for the technology  
pos	matthew broderick and high school comedy  the two terms have been practically inseparable since ferris buehler took the day off in 1986  now it is 13 years later  and broderick has another high school comedy  election  to show the world  ferris buehlers day off showed an educational setting that was similar to a pile of marshmallows  it was light  fluffy  tasty  and sparkling clean  but election is far different  this production is a dark  and frighteningly realistic one that does so much more than entertain for the 103 minutes it occupies  it shocks as well  jim mcallister  matthew broderick  is the type of teacher that makes american high schools proud  he is a kind  caring  younger man who has built his life around carver high school  in turn  carver high school has provided a home for him  jim has won teacher of the year no less than three times in his 12 year span  and is a well respected social studies teacher among the student body  tracy flick  reese witherspoon  is an intelligent  outgoing  and  to quote the film   super nice  young girl  she is involved in numerous extracurricular activities  always has her hand up first in class  and is extremely popular among most of the student body  so  it is a natural progression when she decides to run for school president  the metzler family is an extremely wealthy one  the father  dick  holmes osborne   owns a cement company  the mother  jo  jeanine jackson   is an ideal housewife  and the two children  paul  chris klein  and tammy  jessica campbell   are both students at carver high school  paul was the quarterback of the football team before he injured himself  and is definitely a candidate for most popular person in school  tammy is a lesbian who  to say the least  is going through a period of self discovery  for reasons of revenge  hatred  and sexual envy  jim convinces paul to run against tracy for school president  he claims that in a democracy you need choices  and having tracy run unopposed creates a dictatorship of sorts  so paul agrees and the race is on  but then  in an effort to spite the two candidates  tammy announces that she is running as well  her campaign is straightforward  people only run to put it on their college applications  then they do nothing  well   i dont even want to go to college   she says  in election  there are no  good guys   almost everyone has their own agenda  no matter how deeply hidden  the production digs it up and exploits it for the audience  tracy is the type of person that you remember from high school  she is the girl that would be labeled  most likely to achieve anything she wants  in the yearbook  and everyone secretly envied her because of that  jim is a teacher that takes the trust that students give him as a privilege  and uses it to his own amoral advantage  everyone  including the principal  a former teacher  all the candidates  and even pauls girlfriend are two sided characters  that is much of this films beauty  it doesnt have the typical good guys that hollywood likes  instead it is a realistic portrayal of the real world  specializing in revealing the type of sexual perversions that people usually keep to themselves  matthew broderick couldnt have been any more perfect for this role  his character is often similar bill murrays award winning role in the 1998 film  rushmore  of the two acting jobs  brodericks is far superior  but even he is overshadowed by the young reese witherspoon  the hatred that she causes the audience to develop towards her  is simply indescribable  broderick and witherspoon are simply at their best when they are playing off each other in various scenes  one such moment occurs when she approaches him in his car as he is leaving school one day  you can see her self pride in her eyes as she presents him a list of signatures  making her an eligible candidate  and his subtle disgust with her is apparent  although he tries to mask it between the lines and attempts to put on a happy face  the supporting cast is one with little hollywood experience  but that is far from apparent as everyone takes control of their part  however  the real treat is jessica campbell in her confused role as a young homosexual girl  this is never more apparent than the scene where she delivers her speech announcing her socalled platform for presidency  she is just marvelous as her hatred towards what she thinks to be an unjust system is expressed  if ferris buehler made you feel good about american high schools  and gave you an innocent laugh or two  then the movie achieved its goal  but dont you dare think that elections goals are similar  it is just as real in its portrayal of high school  as its characters are in the real world  there certainly is no pile of marshmallows here  
pos	the rocky horror picture show special edition  1975  starring  tim curry and susan sarandon cult films are never mainstream  the casual viewer of a cult film will look at it and be repulsed and confused  yelling out what the hell is that    fans of these sorts of movies will be laughing at every other second at all the hidden jokes they missed the first time around while normal movie watchers will look at them like theyre insane  the rocky horror picture show  recently rereleased in a special edition to video  is the mother of all cult films  period  like some other cult films  most notably little shop of horrors  the rocky horror picture show is a musical with a twisted edge to it  this movie begins out innocently enough a couple get engaged at a friends wedding and get a flat tire in the middle of the night while its raining  they go to a castle to try to use the phone  little do they know that the castle is owned by dr  frank n  furter  a mad transexual transvestite scientist who has recently created a creature he will use for personal reasons  the acting is pretty good overall  tim curry  home alone 2  legend  is overthetop as frank n  furter  its interesting to see that this movie was one of future oscar winner susan sarandons  dead man walking  first film she plays janet  the girlfriend of brad majors  even the singer meatloaf is in it   the songs are all very good yet twisted in their own way  a sampling of titles range from damn it  janet to toucha toucha toucha touch me  all the actors sing their songs with no dubbing from other actors kind of a bad thing  barry bostwick  brad majors  tries to sing as does susan sarandon  but tim curry is clearly the most professional having extensive stage experience  meatloaf sings like meatloaf  the new special edition contains two original movie trailers of the film as well as two songs deleted from the original version  sadly  the songs are tacked after the credits kind of defeats the purpose  if you want to see a different film  watch this one   
pos	confession time  i have never  ever seen gone with the wind  i dont know why  really  havent wanted to check it out on video  havent been at home the nights it was on network tv  and it was too far to drive the last time it was on the bigscreen  so right up front  ill admit that i dont know what the heck im talking about  but here goes    is titanic the gone with the wind of the 1990s  maybe thats going a little bit too far  as good a job as leonardo dicaprio and kate winslet do in this movie  theyre no clark gable and vivien leigh  but    the parallels are there  gwtw was the first movie to take real advantage of the most revolutionary technology available  technicolor  titanic takes revolutionary steps forward in seamlessly integrating computer graphic design with actors  gwtw places americas greatest tragedy in the background of a classic love story  titanic does the same with the atlantics most legendary tragedy  they both have strongwilled redheaded heroines  they both exploit the class differences between the aristocracy and the slavessteerage bums  they were both incredibly expensive and popular    ok  maybe thats not enough parallels  so titanics not in gwtws league  no matter  titanic is a great movie in its own right  complete with spills  thrills and  especially  chills  much has been made of the humongous cost of the production  and all of the care than went into making the huge luxury liner come alive again  the money was obviously wellspent  the costumes look great  the sets look great  the cgi graphics look great  i especially liked the expensive little touches  like spending tons of money on authentic titanic china only to break it all on the floor as the ship sinks  but writerdirectorproducer james camerons real challenge in writingdirecting producing titanic wasnt just costuming and set design and special effects  camerons major headache was keeping the audience interested in a tale where everybody knows the ending going in  he succeeds masterfully  cameron does two things that work incredibly well  first  he shows us modernday salvage operations on titanic  thats just  titanic   not  the titanic   mind you   the first glimpse we get of titanic is the ship in its present state  corroding slowly away under the hammering pressure of the north atlantic  from the window of a minisub piloted by treasure hunter brock lovett  bill paxton   television coverage of the exploration of titanic intrigues 101yearold rose calvert  gloria stuart   who survived the wreck in 1912  stuart does a phenomenal job in a brief role  narrating the story of her experience to a stunned paxton and his roughneck crew  secondly  cameron keeps the storyline focused almost exclusively on the rose character  and the romantic triangle between rose  winslet   her bastard millionaire fiancee cal hockley  billy zane  and the irrepressible young artist jack daswon  dicaprio   the way that bigbudget disaster movies usually go wrong is to have an allstar cast  so we see the impact of the disaster on a wide group of people  cameron wisely chooses to stick with rose and jack  while paying scant heed to the celebrities on board  the supporting cast is professional  but mostly anonymous  other than kathy bates as the unsinkable molly brown  theres no moment when you stop and say  oh  yeah  i know him  whats he been in   although i would like to have seen colm meaney in a white star uniform  or even as the illfated engineer   the love story itself is rather conventional  i think some reviewers found it weak  and that may be a fair criticism  the performances are the key here  zane has the meatiest part in the movie  and he plays the arrogant  condescending steel millionaire to the hilt  hes smooth  he looks great in a tuxedo  and hes a convincing enough jerk that the winsletdicaprio relationship looks plausible  at the moment when he sees a little girl too frightened to get aboard a lifeboat  you can hear the wheels in his mind turning  saying not  can i save this little girl    but  can she help me get on a lifeboat   dicaprio is a revelation  i hadnt seen him before in anything  and didnt know what the heck to expect  really   honestly  i expected a bad irish accent  but cameron evidently decided that was a bad idea  so dicaprio plays a poor american artist who wins a ticket in a poker game   dicaprio exhibits an infectious joy at being alive  and being on the titanic  that its hard not to like him  from the moment that the ship leaves port until it hits the iceberg  dicaprio has to carry the movie and keep our interest  and he never falters  winslets character grows up a lot during the movie  and so does her performance  at first  shes not required to do anything but wear period clothing and look dropdead gorgeous  we know from the narration that shes monstrously unhappy with her arranged marriage to zane  but there isnt any expression of these feelings until she encounters dicaprio  winslet and dicaprio develop a chemistry that manages to propel the movie along until the ship hits the iceberg  its at that moment where winslets character really comes alive  faced with real danger  she drops her spoiledrichgirl mannerisms and does a splendid job  as rose and jack race around the doomed ship  looking for shelter from the freezing water and cals fiery temper  winslet turns in a superb acting performance  mixing courage and compassion and anger with sheer shrieking terror  of course  the most interesting character is the ship itself  cameron has clearly fallen in love with titanic  and shows her in every mood  as a deserted wreck  down in the boiler room  up on the bridge  down in the hold  at the captains table  down in steerage  and manages to bring the great ship back from the dead  camerons greatest gift is that he allows us to fall in love with titanic as well  
pos	if he doesn92t watch out  mel gibson is in danger of being known as someone other than mad max  of course there are still a few big guns in this film  but there92s some accomplished acting too  although gibson continues to shed his rough and gritty antihero skin as his career progresses  here he explores a new genre  the businessman as action hero  in ron howard92s latest film  gibson plays tom mullen  a gazillionaire airline owner whose son is snatched from the junior science fair by kidnappers  mullen at first agrees to pay the ransom  but when things fall apart he rethinks the situation  a veteran of numerous hardnosed business negotiations  the tycoon realizes that in order to get his son back alive  he has to play his hand differently  the casting is what puts this film over the top  the trio of gibson  the kidnappers mastermind  gary sinise  and fbi team leader  delroy lindo  play off of each other wonderfully  sinise is perfect as the driven scheming sleezebag is right on the mark  his speech to mullen over a walkie talkie about h  g  wells92 morlocks and eloi reveal his vision of society  mullen and the other glitteratti frolic up on high while sinise and the other lowlifes dwell below  feeding off the unsuspecting  gibson92s character is an allamerican hero with a few flaws  his cowboy tactics tend to work  but they are also what got him into this situation to begin with  in a round about way  if he weren92t known as a man who i s willing to buy his way out of trouble  his son wouldn92t have been kidnapped  as sinise says  you92re a payer  you did it once and now you92re going to do it again   one of the nicest elements of this film is that most of the characters actually have personalities  lindo calls home to talk to his kids  obviously shaken at working this case  even the kidnappers are real people  arguing about the ultimate fate of sean mullen and feeding him candy bars  gibson92s breakdown on the balcony of their penthouse apartment is especially effective  it92s one of the best filmed representations of a man92s world falling apart that i92ve seen  it92s not all perfect  the shoot em upending  while emotionally satisfying seems tacked on to be just that rather than to provide a powerful resolution  as well crafted as the scene is  we92ve seen it before  mullen92s wife  rene russo  has several good moments  but occasionally just seems to be there  while adequate  brawley nolte  sean  doesn92t provide much to the film other than occupying space to build the story around  but you92ll ignore these problems as each minute of the movie builds on the previous one  forget about the large coke  you won92t want to leave for that five minute break an hour later  
pos	john cusack is the kind of actor who seems to effortlessly slide into his respective film roles  so effortlessly that people tend to forget hes there  much in the way people rarely recall many of the great character actors  anyone who can put the name james rebhorn with that actors face is invited to treat themselves to a product from one of my sponsors   example  the other day my mother asked me  the expert  of course  if there were any movies out worth seeing  never mind that our tastes couldnt be more divergent ill never forget the day she recommended that i go see a night at the roxbury for god sakes  and to be fair she was mightily pissed at me for telling her that go  was a lot of fun  which it is   so i didnt see this as anything more than a futile attempt at conversation  i muttered  with a little trepidation  that she might enjoy high fidelity  she responded with her usual query   whose in that one   this is a question whose answer that seems to immediately conjure up the kind of movie you went to see  if the reply is julia roberts you probably assume it was something wispy and light  a sylvester stallone movie and you picture a bloodbath with few words and much involuntary bicep flexing  and a woody allen movie means hyper articulate white people  usually of the jewish faith  fretting about in some upper east side palace  anyway  when i answered  john cusack   she replied with a rather stunned  who    as if it was unreasonable for her to know whom i was referring to  now i know for a fact that my mother has seen several cusack movies  most recently being john malkovich and pushing tin  but i suppose its understandable that she would not recognize the name  after all  for most  names are tougher than faces  i showed her a picture of cusacks mug in the paper hoping for an  oh  him  yes hes quite good  instead i got a  no  i dont know him   at this point i was way beyond frustration into a realm of nose hair yanking anger  yes  filmic ignorance is all it takes to get me into the nose hair pulling zone   till i realized something  i doubt that much of america would recognize cusacks relatively bland visage  or even the name which is rather bland compared to the coolness of a brad pitt or tom cruise  onesyllable names that glide off the tongue with the velocity of a speeding car  cusack  cusack  no  not quite as cool  im sure that twenty years from now cusack will forever be referred to as  the guy from  add in the cusack film of your choice    hes not a brand name  and his movies usually arent big moneymakers  but in his own unassuming way hes kind of a genius  with his pleasant  common man looks  and charming semiarticulate blatherings he has become one of the most likeable romantic leading men of the 90s  from the sure thing to say anything cusack has merged the talents of early tom hanks and early jack lemmon  despite the fact that nearly every character he plays is a variation of the character before it  the schlumpy every man   hes a constantly enjoyable screen persona  like albert brooks or woody allen  and he knows how to chose scripts  while the stephan baldwins and val kilmers seem to put them selves in everything  the former actually had the insight to follow up oscar winner usual suspects with a pauly shore vehicle  and judging from his latest projects it looks like he still has yet to fire his agent   cusack generally picks rewarding projects  save for the unwatchable hot pursuit  a 1988 film also featuring a young ben stiller   high fidelity is his second collaboration with hit or miss english director stephan fears  the grifters  the hilo country   and its a hit  it was also cowritten by cusack  and some of his collaborators on the terrific comedy  grosse point blank  its not quite as entertaining or as funny as that film  but as it progresses in its meandering fashion  the movie cast something of a spell over me  high fidelity begins as a hipster ode to the noncommittal rob  a vinyl record store owner  who opens the film by breaking down the fourth wall with much abandon and educating us in his  top 5 break ups list   this is something cusack does the entire film a la ferris buellers day off  at first the talkingdirectlyintothecameraschtick had me vaguely annoyed  mostly because it reminded me so much of the film body shots which used a similar conceit  but it began to grow on me due almost entirely to cusacks witty delivery  hes the kind of guy we dont mind talking directly to us  gradually the film settles into a shampoolike tragicomic character study  of a guy who must confront himself and his personal failures in order to figure out the true person he is  yes its all very existential   though that plotline is mostly enjoyable  the thing i liked the most about the film is how much pleasure it offers in introducing us to minor characters  all of whom  now this is really something  are terrific enough to warrant their own films  the best of which is jack black  of the very funny show tenacious d  a program that sadly went the way of bruce willis hair    unfortunately that annoying smirk remains   an ardent record store employee who bullies customers into buying exactly what he wants them to buy  hes the kind of guy im sure weve all met before  a blowhard who thinks hes always right and will do anything in his power  be it yell  argue  insult  to hoist his opinion onto others  but i like this guy  because of how black plays him  the actor is portly with a round baby face and crazy eyes  but despite his size he leaps to and fro like a manic speed freak  which might be a bit of a redundant description  seeing as how all the speed freaks i know are manic   hes the kind of supporting character who would be impossibly annoying comic relief in most other films   look at what that hack jan de bont did to poor phillip seymour hoffman in twister   but fears and black never let that happen  the character  for all his shucking and jiving is steeped in reality  hes over the top  but in a way we can all probably relate to  catherine zetajones  in her brief role  gives a vivid portrayal of a women completely enamored with her own  charm   tim robbins registers in an even tinier part as a new agetype  a character played entirely for cartoon yuks  but still manages to work its desired comic effect  the one exception in the acting department is a bit of a doozy  the main love interest played by danish actress iben hjejle  mifune   who completely obliterates any trace of a danish accent  replacing it with a stilted american phonation  i give her kudos for attempting such a contradictory role  but instead of being likeable  she comes across as rather robotic  and as such its hard to see why cusacks character would be so obsessed with her especially when he has a beautiful  intelligent writer  natasha gregson wagner  potentially waiting in the wings  this reminded me of say anything  where the charming cusack was paired with the charmless ione skye  and in midnight in the garden of good and evil where the poor bastard had to put up with alison eastwood  whose unbelievably more wooden then father  clint for those  special people  whose wheels turn a little slower   in fact cusack is rarely paired up with a personality that matches his  though id bet that if laura and natasha switched roles  the result would be more effective  high fidelity works almost entirely on the strength of its characters and performances  fears direction is somewhat stilted  and the script is sometimes a little too  and this is a word im beginning to hate to use but alas i must  quirky for its own good  i think ill blame that on scott rosenberg  who judging from what he did with beautiful girls  con air  and things to do in denver while your dead  has his fingerprints all over the most irritating bits of this movie   but cusack really does deserve an award  for being so damn    cusackian  im afraid that his talents are so understated that he may have to wait till his hip needs replacing to be offered such an award worthy of his considerable talent  his character  rob  whose sort of like an older  more bitter lloyd from say anything  is funny and tragic without being pathetic  and that cusack can do all this  and still not imprint himself onto the minds of most audiences  is something of an achievement  
pos	only a year after the initial release of  scream   the horror sendup from veteran horror director wes craven and screenwriter kevin williamson that seemed to breathe new life into the slasher genre  the inevitable sequel  scream 2  has arrived in our theaters  while the tongueincheek  parodic element is still noticeable in this film  its really a sideshow to a broader commentary on violence and the media and a more conventional horror story  the first film  while often violent and gruesome  was mostly lacking in genuine scares because almost every scene was played for camp value and the discussion of the quirks and cliches of horror movies was nearly constant  the premise of  scream 2  is that a series of copycat killings begin when a movie called  stab   based on a book written by opportunistic reporter gail weathers  courtney cox  about the events in  scream   is released and two audience members are killed during the opening screening  i had heard about this scene before i went to see the film and was surprised to find this sequence largely lacking in camp comedy  its conclusion  in which a bleeding  wounded woman stumbles in front of the screen and dies in front of an audience that cheers on because they think its a publicity stunt  is more surreal and disturbing than anything else  the satire in  scream 2  thus takes on a broad focus and gradually evolves into an exploration of media perceptions in general  although resident horror film geek randy  jamie kennedy  is back with fresh dialogue about sequels  and  interestingly enough  how they are usually inferior to their predecessors   the characters in this movie are drawing from other entries in the pop culture encyclopedia as well  everything from  friends  and  saved by the bell  to  showgirls  and  terminator 2  is referenced here  horror is only one of many genres available for lampooning  and there arent any  wes carpenter  jokes this time  more importantly  this film portrays characters willing to go to disturbing lengths for media attention as well as characters whose perceptions have clearly been warped by what they have seen on tv and film  the killings are clearly an imitation of the previous murders from  scream   in fact  the culprit even plans to use the influence of horror movies as a courtroom defense   weathers exploits the situation for her own notoriety  and one man seems willing to save the heroines life only if it will earn him an interview on the today show  understandably   scream 2  does not go so far as to actually blame the movies  but rather shows that those who do imitate horror movies are already sick and twisted  couple that with the fact that several of the characters  most notably the lead character sidney prescott  neve campbell   are fairly welldeveloped and that there are some genuine moments of spinechilling suspense  and what we have is a pretty darned good horror movie in its own right  we dont just get the horror of scary masks and graphic gore  we also get the horror of sympathetic characters who seem helpless as their friends are slaughtered  and  in one case  a significant character who was an audience favorite even bites the dust  and whose lives have been reduced to constant fear of a crazed murderer lurking around the corner  while i have not seen any of his other work  its easy to see why craven is generally touted as the most sophisticated  slasher film  director  as he clearly cares about something more than just the actual acts of slashing  unfortunately   scream 2  occasionally reverts to the timehonored horror tradition of throwing logic out the window  for example  several characters seem quite clearly dead and inexplicably turn up alive later  there has been a running gag in both movies about the villain being able to pull off this particular trick  but it also happens with other characters and in an even less believable fashion  there are also a few scenes in which the killer suddenly appears behind the next victim in a situation such that  s  he clearly would have been seen moving in that direction  as for the question of whether or not  scream 2  is yet another sequel not as good as its predecessor    well  its hard to say  i gave the first  scream  3 12 stars as well because it worked pretty consistently as a lighthearted sendup   scream 2  bounces all over the place stylistically  but it does a better job delivering the genuine scares and asking the questions about media violence that were only hinted at in the first installment  im not sure which is the better movie  but i did leave the theater convinced of one thing  sequels  however much randy might argue  do not necessarily suck  
pos	the full monty is a whole lot of fun  its wacky  witty  and original  its written and directed by relatively unknowns  simon beaufoy and peter cattaneo  who both turned up oscar nominations  how did this movie with a budget under 10 million gross over 175 million worldwide  its been rumored that this film may be the second most profitable movie of the year  and to think its about male exotic dancers  and not sinking ships  six steel workers who have been recently been laid off and are all looking for jobs  inspired by the success of a chippendales production  gaz  robert carlyle  decides they should all put on a strip show to make some money quickly  as the six team up to put on the show of their lives  they run into a few problems  for instance  dave  mark addy  is worried about his weight  horse  paul barber  thinks he may be inadequate  and gerald  tom wilkinson  is worried about his reputation and timing  so when the night of the show comes  will the men be able to do the  full monty   as i said before this is a fun movie  and not just that its really artistically good  the writing and direction are great  the acting is appealing  all the performances have a human quality to them  so you can relate to at least one of the characters  the full monty received four oscar nominations including best picture  which left me wondering one thing  why didnt trainspotting get a best picture nomination last year  while the full monty is a great lighthearted comedy  it doesnt carry the social impact of the brilliant trainspotting  still  the full monty is a great film  a must see  
pos	with the release of gattaca  i began to wonder why all science fiction films deal with destructive aliens  or aliens in general  hollywood has given audiences plenty of thrills with those alien films  but what was usually lacking was a good story    and good characters    and good acting  etc  contact being the exception   and for some reason  hollywood has never taken a look at the aliens here on earth  the closest  that i have seen anyway  was 2001  a space odyssey  which made mankind an alien race themselves  being dwarfed by the technology which they created  now comes gattaca  another film about technology reigning supreme  except here on our planet  the difference between 2001 and this one is simple  gattaca is more frightening  most of the concepts of this movie are based on recent discoveries in genetic engineering  using this premise  writerdirector andrew niccol creates some genuine suspense and thrills  unfortunately  due to a lack of advertising  i fear gattaca may fair horribly at the box office  since seeing the film  i have been asking people if they have seen gattaca  lately  however  i have been asking them if they have even heard of gattaca  most people dont even realize that it is a film  despite this fact  i surely hope that the audience members who have seen this film will tell their friends about it  niccols film deserves more than what independence day made because it is smarter  better produced  and more realistic  gattaca begins in the 21st century  procreating is now done in a petri dish  and genetic engineering is the normal way of doing it  natural child birth is considered oldfashioned  we are introduced to jerome morrow  ethan hawke   an employee of the gattaca space program  one of the directors of the program has been murdered  and the main suspect is one vincent freeman  the only problem is that jerome morrow is vincent freeman  vincent was born the natural way when his parents decided on bringing their first child into the world through love  however  after his birth  and through several genetic tests  doctors tell his parents that he will have a 99 chance of a weak heart  as well as poor eye sight and a short life span  as a result  both parents decide to bring their next baby into the world via genetics  anton  loren dean  is produced without flaws  and the competition between brothers spawns  vincent has a dream to fly a soloflight around the titan  the 14th moon of saturn  but because of his condition  gattaca  and society in general  forces him to do menial labor around the company  labeled an  invalid   vincents dream seems impossible  until he meets a blackmarket dna specialist  german  tony shalhoub   german introduces him to a  valid  who has been paralized from the waste down due to an automobile accident  jerome morrow  jude law  agrees to give vincent all the proper identification tools  urine  blood  skin and hair samples  etc   that he will need to get past gattacas tight security  in exchange  vincent will provide jerome with the rent money and friendship  after the murder  however  his dreams are put at risk due to one of vincents eyelashes left at the scene of the crime  irene cassini  uma thurman  is a genetically flawed  valid  working for gattaca  and she begins to fall in love with vincentjerome  gattaca is one of the best science fiction films i have seen in a long time  only two other intelligent science fiction films have come out in the past two years  contact and the arrival  and gattaca will rank among them  unfortunately  whenever one intelligent film comes out against special effectsladen films  it normally gets buried  the second best thing about gattaca is the production design by jan roelfs  the orange glow of gattacas scenes are impressive  but the sets deserve most of the credit  the sets are very well done  creating a futuristic sense  but not too futuristic as to alienate viewers  as we look at the designs  we realize that these buildings arent too far into the future  this brings the plot even more credibility as genetic engineering becomes more possible by every passing day  the best thing  however  is the plot  the story is more than your average scifithriller  at its heart  it develops a theme which is never overpowering but is always present  perhaps niccol is warning our race about the changes genetic tampering could bring  would our society become a bunch of soulless zombies  maybe human nature is a result of mankinds flaws  if we get rid of flaws  do we get rid of dreams as well  niccols intelligent script handles all these questions extremely well  and the result is an incredibly smart thriller set against a dramatic story  or vice versa  the power of the actors brings a lot of credibility to flat characters  while flat may sound like a poor job on niccols part  it actually enhances the meaning behind the story  ethan hawke has developed into a handsome adult actor  giving his best performance of his lifetime so far  his curiosity and motivation pushes his character past all the discouraging remarks from his parents and  valid  peers  uma thurman is    well  uma thurman  her character is slightly underdeveloped  but the story isnt about her  however  thurman gives a lot of depth to the flat character  jude law gives the most complex performance of the film with the most disturbingly realistic character  he provides several nice touches  and his final scene is a very touching and heartwrenching one  loren dean gives a nice performance in his welldeveloped character  dean is also responsible for some of the most suspenseful scenes in the movie  alan arkin portrays one of the detectives with a little less more excitement than with his psychiatrist in grosse pointe blank  still  he does a good job  gore vidal and xander berkeley both provide some very good supporting roles  and berkeley also gives a heartfelt discussion towards the end of the film  gattaca is rated pg13 for brief violent images  language  some sexuality  and nudity  despite the somber and desolate mood of the entire film  i wasnt exactly prepared for the ending which left me feeling empty  it turned me off slightly  but then i realized that everything turned out the way it should have  if this had been a typical hollywood film  it would have ended much differently  however  with all the mindless science fiction films out there  it is nice to have a film which doesnt talk down to its audience  i especially like the ironic title and how it consists of the four letters which make up the genetic coding  g  t  c  and a   instead  it provides some much needed entertainment which gives us science fiction fanatics just what we want  a science fiction film with morals behind it  whatever happened to giving the audience a lesson while entertaining  hopefully more writers and directors will learn from gattaca    and hopefully audiences will too  p  s  personal note to p  j  gladnick  how dare you call this film the worst film of the year  i cant even begin to image what film you do like  that frightens me beyond anything  
pos	it must be some sort of warped critical nightmare  the best movie of the year would be a summer vehicle  a jim carrey vehicle at that  and so it is  the truman show is the most perplexing  crazed  paranoid and ribtickling morality play ive seen since idontknowwhen  dont credit carrey  it starts with andrew niccol  gattaca   who created the script ten years ago  the story  replete with sublte religious and philisophical undertones  is about a man who discovers that every day of his existence has been televised for a mass audience   ironically  it was within these past ten years that  realitybased  television have become a predominant fixture into our culture  who knew   oneupping niccol  it was when unlikely candidatedirector peter weir took the helm that things fell into place  weir had the nearly impossible task to create the unimitible tone  deftly mixing capra with kafka  throwing george bailey in a universe inhabited by rod serling  it was weirs first stroke of genius to create seahaven  a suburban paradiseprison that would make spielberg cower in shame  for example  bystanderextras would walk around the block incessantly with flowers along with the latest issue of dog fancy  the nicest touch are the plethora of subtle hints for truman to not leave the island  credit weir for his second stroke  the casting of carrey  carrey seems to be the type of character actor who would always turn  on  and act goofy whenever the camera is near  not here  his performance is so subverted you sometimes wonder if he is ever aware the camera is on  and although carrey does not deserve an academy award nomination  just as well  the academy rarely honors goofy comedians  excepting robin williams   he stretches enough to alter his hypersilly image considerably  playing one who has the cameras constantly invading his most intimate moments turns to be quite the role of jim carreys life  no pun intended  better in a smaller  more pivotal role is ed harris as christof  who mixes the right amount of his apollo 13  work the problem  people  character with dustin hoffmans megaglomaniac producer in wag the dog  and then only slightly svengalian  it is clear that he is torn between the nielson ratings and trumans well being  yes  in his own misguided way he loves truman as a father to a son  and has provided the best universe he could provide  he thinks  rounding out the cast is natascha mcelhone  mrs  dalloway  as carreys true  forbidden love   sylvia  very effective in another pivotal small role  laura linney  congo  and noah emmerich  copland  have the unfortunate task of playing trumans wife and best friend  their sitcomish dialogue allow little room for any authentic character development  the exception is at the very beginning  where they speak into the camera  wholeheartedly believing that their participation is truly good for truman  and for society in general  there are other little problems with the script  are we to assume that toddler truman had no recollection of hearing the construction of such a gigantic dome during his formative years  was there any reason as to why in one scene  it rained solely on truman  even though it never had to  how is it they hire hundreds of extras  and none of them could drive a boat  and yet truman  fearful of water  is helming a sailboat effortlessly  and couldnt christof have turned off the wind  to strand truman at sea  these little contrivances  however  do not hold a candle to the overall effect of the work  the audience gets the feeling that it is watching the actual show  and we are drawn to trumans mundane existence for no other reason than it is there  the final result effortlessly combines the emotional happy ending of a mainstream picture with a gnawing discomfort that hits you square in the gut  upon leaving the theater  i was looking up in the sky  wondering if it was nothing more than a gigantic dome  just checking  
pos	now  lets first look into the history of shark films  there was the unforgettable jaws  the exciting jaws 2  the rather flaky jaws 3d and sometime in the late 90s another film of the same genre that i cant seem to recall  about the son of jaws returning to wreak revenge or something like that   now  with the magic of cgi  one shark is simply not enough  in deep blue sea  there are 3 big  mean and really smart ones  russell frankiln  jackson  visits aquatica  a seabound research center   where a research is being conducted on the extraction of a hormone substance found uniquely within the shark brain that can cure and reverse the effects of alzheimers disease  the substance is small in quantity and because of this  lead researcher dr  susan macalaester genetically alters the shark dna and grows them twice the size with brains as big as humans  naturally producing more of the much treasured hormones  as sure as the sun sets in the west  a shark breaks lose and wreaks havoc within the facility during a hormone extraction procedure  with the flexibility offered by cgi  the sharks get more fulllength screen time as their predecessors did in those remotecontrolled rubber suit days  gone are the days of people getting pulled under the water with the water turning red right after  this time  we get to see the entire gobbling action  with floating limbs and all  soso acting  expected in most of your average action film  jackson  fresh from his jedi master role in the phantom menace   takes on the darkside force of a different kind and fits well with his wisecracking lines  ll cool js cook role as preacher  does for this film what steven seagals cook could only dream to achieve in his two under siege films  deep blue sea does not offer any of the psychological thrills that jaws has to offer  it does however  prove to be a refreshing followup within the genre  full of visual thrills  suspense and believe it or not  humour  its like jurassic park under water  nothing too stressful  pure entertainment  renny harlin  you are forgiven  for making cutthroat island   
pos	this is the best british gangster film since the long good friday  jon bennet  played by andrew howard  is an extremely good assassin  as such he is probably an evil man but it does not worry him  he has become an unquestioning weapon  he is in the employ of a kingpin  david calder  far more evil than he is  but even assassins have innocent pasts  he runs into an old from school days and he is married to a mutual girl friend from school  complicating matters is that they live near where he had a recent job and their young daughter may have seen him at the crime  a big piece of what makes this film work is the depiction of the kingpin  calder is a familiar actor in britain  though not frequently seen in the us  he was seen in the world is not enough  here he creates one of the best screen villains in recent years  he is at once seductive and repellent like a beautiful venomous snake  his lair is underground  apparently in a sewer  where he lives like the king of sewer rats  it is the kingpin who pulls the strings that will control bennets life  paul sarossy who directs spent most of his career as a cinematographer and like the kingpins lair  he has molded images of class and style out of the darkness  by using semidarkness and letting the colors of deep blue and black dominate every scene he makes the film visually as ominous as anything in this nether world  this is a world that is cold and unfriendly  sorossy creates a world of violence much more by what we hear than what we see  this is a film with a great deal of physical violence occurring just out of reach  we see very little but we hear a great deal more and we imagine more than that  the screenplay is by peter waddington based on the novel by neil cross  but it is sarossys film all the way  it creates indelible images of evil  i rate it an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 3 on the 4 to 4 scale   i do hope they do not use the tagline  dont mess with mr  inbetween    
pos	produced by robert lantos  stephen j  roth directed by douglas williams mpaa  not rated  though from language  violence  medicalgrossouts  and sexual content  id put it at pg  though made in canada   overdrawn at the memory bank  traces its roots to the bbc school of film production  using  for the most part  cheap computer and video special effects  chyron text  wildlife documentary footage  and sets that are sometimes obviously faked up  it nonetheless manages to tell a good enough science fiction story that by the time youre twenty minutes into it  you should be hooked  raul julia plays aram fingal  a drone data processing worker for novicorp whose active imagination and predilection for hacking gets him into trouble with authority  caught watching  casablanca  on his desk monitor  fingal is sentenced to  doppling  rehabilitationhe is to spend fortyeight hours in the body of a baboon   how exactly this is supposed to rehabilitate him is anybodys guess   as it happens  thanks to a visiting schoolboys prank  his body is temporarily misplaced  and his mind has to be shunted into the central computer to keep him alive until they can find it  as time ticks away before his memory cube selfdestructs  the frantic search for his body is on    while fingal first creates a virtual reality fantasy world  then finds theres no better way to hack the system than from the inside  during the chaos  computer technician apollonia james  linda griffiths  maintains contact with fingal through a datalink  manifesting several different times to offer advice or warnings  over the course of their interactions  interest on both their parts grows into a budding romance  given that  casablanca  is fingals favorite film  and the basis for his fantasy world  a great deal of the movie is homage to  casablanca   in fact  the humphrey bogart and peter lorre characters make appearances  played by julia in a dual role and louis negin  respectively  in a bar called  the place   julias portrayal of bogart is passable  and avoids becoming the  schweethaat  spouting parody seen in cartoons  negins peter lorre is quite credible  and easily the best peter lorre ive ever seen who wasnt the real thing  the two of them  as characters created by fingals imagination  serve as aspects of his personality  driving him on in his quest to hack the computer system  those arent the only casablanca characters to put in appearances  the sydney greenstreet character also happens to be around    as  the fat man   the alternate aspect of the films main villain  the novicorp chairman  donald c  moore   while fingals body is lost  the fat man tries to stop him from hacking the system    with less than salutory results  its interesting to note the futuristic slang words that are thrown about left and right during the film  in the best goldenage science fiction tradition  words like  dopple    psychist    computech    cinema   and  reconst  are apparently in common use  and while people of today may well laugh at fourteen years pasts idea of futuristic data processing clerks  some aspects of this film are surprisingly perfectly in keeping with the way we think of  virtual reality  today  as cyberpunk films go  this may not be a staple of the genre  but its definitely recommended viewing  the special effects are very primitive  placing this production in the realm of lowtomediumbudget television  the music is completely electronicsynthesized  which fits the low budget but isnt really out of keeping with the genre  however  the writing quite makes up for it  there are some very funny moments  and quite a few little injokes that one needs to have seen  casablanca  to appreciate properly  all in all  i give  overdrawn at the memory bank  a  
pos	i remember hearing about this film when it first appeared at cannes over a year ago  picking up the grand jury prize at the festival  holocaust comedy receives standing ovation  the headlines read  intrigued by this statement  i looked up information on the film and found that  sure enough  life is beautiful is in fact a comedy about the greatest atrocity of the last thousand years  even though the movie was extremely wellreceived by critics and public alike  i couldnt help but be disgusted at this notion  human tragedy is not something i feel should be celebrated  only now do i see the error of my ways  after finally viewing the film for myself after avoiding it for some time  it became clear that it is not  as the headlines proclaimed  a  holocaust comedy   on the contrary  life is beautiful does not even really depict the graphic events that took place in nazi deathcamps  rather  it focuses on the relationship between a father and his son  who he is trying desperately to shield from the horrors of their situation  roberto benigni  who also wrote and directed the movie  stars as guido orefice  a chaplininspired clown and all round jolly guy who  as the film opens  is vying for the affections of an attractive school teacher  nicoletta braschi  benigni real life spouse   through the course of the first hour or so  we see guido striving to get the attention of this  beautiful princess   as he calls her  employing the magic of laughter  the italian comedian wins her heart and together  they raise a young boy named giosue  child actor giorgio cantarini   life treats them well until hitlers minions rise to power  and the family is whisked away to a german camp  where guido becomes convinced that he must upholds his sons innocence no matter what the sacrifice  granted  it contains some uproariously funny moments both in and out of the concentration camp  but it does not pull a  hogans heros  and make light of the slaughtering of some six million innocent jews  somehow  it achieves hilarity without disrespecting its gravely serious subject  so  weve established that life is beautiful is not a  holocaust comedy   but  there is another complete misrepresentation of this material that really disturbs me  the film  despite critics declarations of it being a  triumph of the human spirit   is no such thing  not in my eyes  anyway  some have called the story an  affirmation of the beauty of life   but i say it is a very dark and bleak statement about mans capability of denial masquerading as an endearing comedy  the films ending has been recognized as the most entirely uplifting moment of any film released recently  but i found it to be truly discerning and upsetting  essentially  life is beautiful is quite possibly the greatest hoax in the history of film  however  i am not denying the movies greatness  believe me  its fantastic  im just saying that i think benigni did something different than what most people are interpreting it as  but perhaps im reading more into the movie than is really there  maybe the films brilliance relies on the idea that the viewer can interpret the meaning of it in any way they see fit  in fact  maybe roberto benigni has made a film that is the sole argument for the old saying that you get out of a movie exactly what you put into it  
pos	most movies seem to release a third movie just so it can be called a trilogy  rocky iii seems to kind of fit in that category  but manages to be slightly unique  the rocky formula of  rocky loses fightrocky trainsrocky wins fight  is carried out to the letter  also the tradition of showing the last five minutes or so from the past rocky film is used as well  this movie begins with a series of clips showing how famous rocky  sylvester stallone  has become    even showing a brief appearance on sesame street   then it moves on with rocky being in a fixed fight with thunderlips  hulk hogan   a mysterious badass known as clubber lang  mr  t  trashtalks to rocky about his stupid decision to retire from boxing and that he  pities the fool  for not coming out and fighting him outright  rockys trainer  burgess meredith  tells rocky not to fight  but the italian stallion doesnt listen  naturally  he gets his ass kicked  somewhere along the line after this several things happen  rockys longtime trainer dies  causing rocky to train with his former opponent apollo creed  rockys wife complains to her husband that he should fight  the final fight ensues between clubber and rocky  guess who wins  the winners name rhymes with smocky  the movie is entertaning mainly because of clubber langs over the top performance  the dramatic aspect has been toned down considerably since rocky ii and now action seems to be the strong point of the film  which is good if you like fighting scenes  the last match is quite decent actually  if you liked the previous films  rent this one  its well worth seeing if you are a fan of the series  but if you cant stand rocky shouting  adrianne     one more time  see something else  
pos	review  a dog of flanders is the story of an adorable little boy named nello and his trials and tribulations in 19th century flanders  living with his grandfather jehan  jack warden  in poverty  nello finds happiness in his life in spite of difficult times  they are renting a spare oneroom cottage  and the greedy  malevolent landlord who owns it threatens to throw them out of the house if they dont pay the rent   nello also has a rather creative talent for drawing some of the most beautiful pictures that i have ever seen  in either a movie or in real life   his hero is peter paul rubens  the great flemish painter of the 17th century   not that these are the only things that make nellos life happy  however  he has a dog of flanders  whom he names patrasche  who is a heroic rintintin of the 19th century  whom he rescues from his cruel  unkind master  in addition  he even has a best friend  and future sweetheart  in the lovely  wealthy aloise  whose father strongly disapproves of her hanging out with lowerclass nello   he thinks hes not good enough for her  and he would hate the idea of the two kids marrying   but then  he was a poor guy himself before he married  as mentioned later on in the film   one day  nello encounters a mysterious  yet kindhearted artist named michel la grande  played wonderfully by jon voight   who tells the boy to keep drawing from his heart  and that perhaps one day he might land a career in being an artist  and every christmas  there is a contest on which is the most beautiful painting of the year  the winner getting a lot of money  eager to save his home  and his aging  dying grandfather   nello willingly decides to become an artist  asking aloise to pose for him  one night  the two travel to a circus  where they have their fortune told  one of the films most delightful scenes  that great happiness is destined for them  she gives the kids a ring  whom nello places on aloises hand    afterwards  the two kids have a rollickingly good time dancing around in front of circus performers  unfortunately  things are not all ladeedah in this tale  aloises father finally becomes so angry with nello that he forbids him to ever see aloise again  bad enough that they cant see each other  although we know nello and aloise  dont we    but thats only the start of nellos troubles  aloises farm is burned down  and nello is wrongfully accused  by the landord of his cottage  for starting the fire in order to take revenge on being forbidden to see aloise  this decreases nellos reputation around the town  save aloise and her parents  and a kindly miller  william  who is very sweet to nello every time he drops by  matters get much worse for nello when his grandfather dies  and he has to pay for his funeral  but then things really get nasty when the landlord exiles nello from his own home  for not paying his rental   permanetly  this means that nello and patrasche have to starve and walk out in the cold  freezing wind  worst of all  the painting that he has desperately been working on during all this time  the portrait of the princess  fails to win the prize at the festival  now nello and patrasche are really depressed  and close to freezing to death  will nello be able to find any happiness in his life  will patrasche save the day  will nello make the fateful trip to join his mother and grandfather in paradise  a dog of flanders is a delightful  heartwarming family film that is sure to entertain kids of all ages  even older ones who consider themselves too sophisticated for kiddie fare will be surprised to hear that this film is for grownups  too  there have been other movies of this ilk  boy and dog   and while this one falls into that category  it is mostly a story about overcoming difficulties and finding a good home for yourself  move over  or rather  roll over  old yeller  this dog of flanders is a heartwarming delight  the cinematography  courtesy of walther van den ende is beautiful  and really adds to the powerful drama of the film  it also gives a feel of being in flanders  the whole film was respectably shot in flanders   the music from richard friedman is also remarkable  an evocative  poignant score that recaptures music from the 19th century  the opening song over the credits is very beautiful  i hope the soundtrack is available    and theres a brief excerpt of cheer up  charlie from willy wonka and the chocolate factory  sung by aloise  to nello  in another delightful scene   the cast is firstrate  jesse james and jeremy james kissner  who play nello  are some of the most endearing  adorable young stars i have ever seen in my whole life  so are the girls who play aloise  madyline sweeten as the younger  and farren monet as the older   not that they are the only good stars  however  jack warden is ideal as jehan  eliciting just the right amount of humor and compassion required for the character   the scenes involving him and nello are heartwarming  touching ones   also  bruce mcgill is charming as the kindly miller william  hes another one of my favorite characters in the film  but jon voight  as i mentioned before  is the perfect choice for michel  he brings a mysterious  yet gentle performance that makes us all feel good again when he reassures insecure nello that he  can  win the contest  but what makes this film fun to watch is how welldefined the characters are  and the pace of the story  best of all  it has a happy ending  though i will  not  give it away  sorry  is strong and powerful enough for us to identify with the characters  for the first time since the beginning of 1999  there comes a film which doesnt rely on popular formula stuff  such as bigbudget special effects  commercial rock soundtracks  or any of that stuff  this one relies on telling a fully characteroriented story  with just the right amount of heart  humor  and drama  that  to me  is what makes a dog of flanders all the more delightful  eleanor osullivan of the home news  tribune noticed this  and was kind and generous enough to welcome it  for want of a better word  a glow surrounds a dog of flanders  its heart is in the right place and it engages you  you can guess where the film is going because this is welltraveled territory  but with pros like voight and appealing young performers like kissner  an oftentold story is well worth a revisit   in addition  there were a couple of other enthusiasts  such as chicagosun times and the washington post  you should read their reviews  theyre really positive   other critics  however  were not so kind  stephen holden of the new york times had more than a share of beatings to lay upon a dog of flanders via pen writing  he found the film to be a sea of sugary bromides and condemned mr  voights character as hopelessly wooden  adopts an accent even more indeterminate than the one he came up with for anaconda   in addition  entertainment weekly slamdunked the film  condemning it as the worst family film of the year   there have been so many other bad reviews like this  too  my suggestion  disregard the critics  they just have a big problem with touching family films  and one should never pay attention to them  this dog of flanders may only be a little family movie  it probably wont be a big hit in the style of titanic  but then again no other film has been since then   but that is not a bad thing in and of itself  this is a story that is sure to warm your heart  and that is what really matters about a dog of flanders  it is also one of the better family films around this year  none of the other films i have seen this year  though they were good  have been so lowkey and touching  if youre looking for familystyle entertainment  look no further than this charming boyanddog yarn  go see it while you still can  for as i mentioned  it might not be a big bowwow at the box office for a long time  see it while you can  there is really no need to compare a multimillion dollar blockbuster such as star wars  episode i  the phantom menace or tarzan  or even the iron giant with a tender  sweet little family movie  
pos	do film critics have morals  are there any unwritten laws an ethical movie critic would or should follow  naturally we dont want to go into a film with any preconceived notions  which is pretty tough but something we all have to accomplish  secondly  and along the same line  we cant prejudge a film because of its stars  director  etc  the difference  well  in the first one  wed go into a film thinking its going to be dumb or its going to be good  and that would affect our viewing  that movie sounds and looks dumb  so im not expecting much   on the second hand  were simply assuming it will be bad or good because of a personal  grudge  against the film company  its made by disney  oh  its just a merchandising ploy then   the actors  jim carreys in it  its gonna stink    or the director  who  cant be that good   this is more of a biased viewpoint as opposed to a first impression viewpoint  make sense  ok  but what about comparing  isnt that kind of along the same lines  when we compare a certain actor or director or even composers credibility in one film to another they were involved in  is that really fair  sure  in sequels you can expect and accept comparisons a lot more  but what about jackie brown  for example  is it fair for me to take the review and turn it into a comparison of pulp fiction  just because quentin tarantino directed and wrote the screenplay for both  i think it is  and ill tell you why  a good critic should be able to view the film from the  average joe  or jane   viewpoint  while still taking into account the artistic integrity behind the film  sometimes that can be tough   the acting was superb  but i was bored  or  i loved it   it was sooooo cheezy   might be used to describe a film  these are contradictions  and a critic has to weigh both sides and come to a suitable balanced critique  but which is more important  and which is better  an extremely well shot and acted film that is boring  or a really amateurish film that you wanna go back to again and again  getting back to the point  my philosophy on comparing films being fair works because were reflecting what the public wants to know anyway  every average person out there whos interested in this film is likely to ask  how does it compare to pulp fiction   and so  as a critic  im already responsible to ask that same question  jackie brown stars pam grier  the  blaxploitation  heroine from the 1970s  who is likely to make a big comeback thanks to her role as the title character  tarantinos pulp fiction is in big part responsible for john travoltas sudden revival in the movie industry  and with talks of an oscar nomination  the same is likely to happen for grier   weve made it thru comparison 1   jackie is a 44yearold airline stewardess who brings in extra cash  and probably her main revenue  by smuggling large sums of money into the united states for ordell robbie  pulp fictions samuel l  jackson and comparison 2   ordell is in the illegal firearms business and has enlisted the aid of louis gara  robert de niro   a bank robber who just got out of prison after serving four years  to help him accomplish a scheme worth a half million dollars  trouble arises when jackie is stopped by atf agent ray nicolet  michael keaton  and taken into custody for possession of narcotics  as well as having more money than is allowed in an airport without being claimed  naturally this proves an obstacle to ordells plans and  not as friendly intended as wed hope  he posts jackies bail after she is put behind bars  the thing is  ordell is in this for no one more than himself  and as we learn from his previous actions  hes willing to kill anyone who stands in the way  jackie finds herself in a tight squeeze  ordell wont think twice about taking her out if she fails to help him as shes always done  yet at the same time  a compromise with the authorities would be in order if evidence against ordell was provided  it comes down to a simple question  would jackie rather face ordell or prison  what ensues is a rich and intriguing example of storytelling as we question who jackie is really out to help  the law  ordell  or maybe just herself  coming into play is another 70s veteran  robert forster as jackies bail bondsmen max cherry  maxs obvious fondness for jackie will become a major benefactor in her fight to beat both sides of the system  and forster plays him with subtle charm that adds depth to unbrewed romance  also involved is ordells  surfer girl  girlfriend melanie  bridget fonda   a ditzy sun bleached babe who spends her time watching tv with a bong in hand  fonda does the best she can with an essentially thin role  but theres nothing more to her  and therefore  she becomes a tossable addition to an otherwise flourishing bouquet of characters  de niro is also wasted in his role as a quiet nobody crook out to score a few bucks for himself  de niro is a brilliant actor  but a character who hardly ever speaks doesnt need a de niro to play him  compared to pulp fiction  comparison 3   the characters in jackie brown and very thin and replaceable  in pulp fiction  even the small  seemingly irrelevant characters were wonderful  complete  and lifelike  whereas jackie brown has such common figures that it wouldnt have suffered much with a lesser talented cast  the exception being grier  tarantino wrote this script with grier specifically in mind  so to say that she is made for this role is a reversed truth  sadly  grier too could have received a bit more attention  especially when the story is all about her newlyjarred perception of life  jackson teams up with tarantino again  but the chemical reaction isnt as awesome as the first time  jules was the rambling  biblequoting hitman in pulp fiction  and jackson is the only person who could have pulled it off  and although jackson is really  really good in jackie brown  i dont think hes quite as irreplaceable  in fact  maybe a new face would have been better  jackson couldve remained tarantinos jules  and a new guy could have become ordell  forever to remain so in our memories  sadly  these characters are too much the same  except ordell just isnt as impressive  and putting this in the hands of jackson once again is only going to deter from our fond recollections of jules  another problem is that ordell is way too focused on in the beginning  this is griers film  so why spend so long getting to know a man who will become more of a supporting character as the film progresses  it not only makes the movie feel a little too slanted  but it makes for a slow beginning because we have to take longer getting to the meat of the story  it is likely that those pouring into the theater to see this film are going to be those anxious to partake of tarantinos quirky dialogue and eccentric directing style  and not so much those interested in seeing a silver screen adaption of elmore leonards novel  rum punch   for those moviegoers  dont expect another pulp fiction and youll be satisfied  for the script oozes with the familiar brash qualities that has made tarantino an icon of 90s film making  the directing has toned down a bit  however  yet were still reminded that this is tarantinos movie thanks to odd splitscreen storytelling devices and scenes being replayed multiple times from different viewpoints  so getting back to the question that i began with  this isnt pulp fiction at all  its good  but it isnt anything that made pulp fiction such a revolutionary effort in the first place  this is a more conservative tarantino  but not one that wont satiate true fans  if you can realize that this isnt going to knock your socks off  then youll be happy to at least let it massage your feet  after all  we all know how much tarantino loves that particular part of the human anatomy  
pos	synopsis  retiring detective jerry black  nicholson  becomes involved in the case of a murdered girl  and promises her parents that he will find the killer  he purchases a gas station on a route he believes the killer takes  and there befriends lori  wright penn  and her young daughter  as jerry and lori fall in love  can he do what must be done to fulfill his pledge  review  at first   the pledge  appears to be just another standard  if wellexecuted  crime drama  it is anything but  in its final hour  it turns the corner and becomes a riveting  terrifying study of its lead character  jerry black  penn pays attention to all the trappings of the serial killer genre  but they are just window dressing  his interest here  unequivocally  is jerry  a man so haunted by his pledge that it consumes the entirety of the his existence  at first  we see this only in small hints  some of his habits change  for instance  and he suddenly takes up smoking in a big way  but then  when jerry buys the gas station and befriends lori  the true extent of his mania draws horrifyingly into focus  nicholson is fantastic  portraying black with rare subtlety and animus  jerrys gradual descent into obsession is like a car wreck  a thing horrible to look at but impossible to turn away from  penn coaxes good supporting performances from much of the rest of his cast  too  only eckhart disappoints as jerrys replacement  stan  he never seems entirely convincing  too much a tool of the plot  penns direction is astounding  each frame looking as though it is parched  of water  perhaps  or of sanity  it all builds up to a shattering  devastating climax which lingers uncomfortably in the mind long after the house lights have come up  
pos	one never quite knows what one is going to get with a mamet film  his american buffalo is a setbound piece that has very little plot  sometimes he will tell a story that really moves  heist is mamet doing his most entertaining work  unlike his the spanish prisoner  there are no lapses in credibility  heist is probably the best mamet thriller since house of games  it is the kind of plot with which you are never sure who will doublecross whom  and frequently it is mamet doublecrossing the viewer  watching the films team getting around security the viewer is frequently asking himself either  what the heck are they doing   or  why didnt anybody think of that before   appropriately enough heist opens with a very clever jewelry store job  it is so clever that one wonders if mamet really thinks up all these ideas himself or if he has help from professional magician and con expert ricky jay  now a regular actor in mamet films  this is a robbery that works like a welloiled machine  there is just one problem and it is enough to get joe moore  played by gene hackman  filmed on a security camera  now joe has to get out of the business  it was coming time anyway  joes team including bobby blane  delroy lindo   fran moor  rebecca pidgeon   and pinky pincus  ricky jay  is going to split up and go separate ways  but crime boss bergman  danny devito  is pulling the strings and he says that joe and his people have to manage one more robbery  and he has to take along a young kid  the short fused jimmy silk  sam rockwell   immediately it is obvious that there is more going on than meets the eye  much of what distinguishes heist is mamets dialog  remarkably it serves a double purpose  the robbery team sounds at once very professional and at the same time it has mamets special feel for dialog  hackman has lines like  everybody needs money  thats why they call it money   mamets timing is perfect in the direction but terrible in the production  the plot is coincidentally a lot like the plot of the recent the score  which is  in fact  a very similar story  both are good films  perhaps for some of the same reasons  but at least on a high level they are much the same story  the other problem with the timing of heist is that it involves airport security and clever ways to get around them  i saw the film at the toronto international film festival on september 12  2001  that made the subject matter just a little too timely  my understanding is that the release will be delayed  my biggest problem with the film is that rebecca pidgeons acting at times seems very poor  it is some kind of mamet trademark i do not understand to have women talk without inflection  as if they are just reading the words for the first time  it is an irritation and distracts us from what is otherwise a very good thriller  it is one i rate an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale and a high 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  
pos	contact shows why jodie foster is one of our best actresses  see contact with your family  it is a movie for all ages  a review by stuart cracraft contact starring  jodie foster  matthew mcconaughey  john hurt director  robert zemeckis star after a predictable mit phillip morrison powersof10 zoomout start  which can be surprising to those not familiar with prof  morrisons work   contact picks up steam  gradually  building  bytheend  an irresistable juggernaut and a very good movie that does not as is so often the case fall outofbalance in terms of too much pandering to the technological  geek  side  by the end  the audience is left with what good science fiction is supposed to do  evoke a sense of wonder about the universe and evoke questions in your mind about whats out there  this movie does not let technology overshadow characterization and in this sense it is unusual amongst hightech movies  however  except for jodie foster  elie arroway  and john hurt  s  r  hadden   who are both actors of exceptional caliber  the supporting cast are not especially impressive  hurt certainly has had better roles  stephen ward in scandal   this one  as the multibillionare hadden  does not do his acting skills justice  this is clearly a foster movie by one of the great hollywood lights of our generation  fosters radiance has never been more strong than in the scene where she finally meets the vegans on their terms  early scenes take a long  long time to build up to this  the movies pacing is very good and subtle  the panoramas of the radio dishes at arecibo and ceti in new mexico and puerto rico are beautiful  the politics of fosters character attempting to obtain funding for research at these places are trite and predictable however  one of the most entertaining  but very short scenes  is when foster is confronted by rob lowe  during a cabinetlevel presidential meeting to discuss the alien invitation  there were real sparks in this scene between foster and lowe and it would behoove them to consider other vehicles in which this dynamism could be explored  it is the only scene in the movie in which there were tremendous dynamics between two characters  everything else was very onesided  e  g  foster   lowe can stand up to foster and it showed in that scene at the cabinet table  the core scene of the movie is set on a surrealistic beach on a faraway world in the starsystem of vega  it feels a lot like science fiction writer john varleys scenes in his book steel beach  where the female protagonists encounters an immensely superior intelligence  in one case a computer manufactured by mankind itself  and in fosters case  an illusion drawn from her memory  in another sense  this immensely moving scene evokes gene roddenberrys star trek pilot the cage  later the menagerie  when jeffrey hunter and susan oliver have their memories manipulated to create new worlds in which they live and encounter aliens  the concept is not new  by any sense  in the world of science fiction  but the beach scene  which is the centerpiece of the film  as is the whole film  is driven by foster  freed from her needs to direct by director zemecki  foster is able to let it all hang out in the characterization and the lead she provides to her supporting cast  as the movie gains speed  fosters acting intensifies and the audience really does experience it with her  it is certainly oscarcaliber acting  unquestionably  the supporting cast does well and zemeckis throws in some humor with some president clinton cameos  cleverly manipulated  george stephanopolusstyle  to seem very forrest gump  in fact  zemeckis et  al  got in trouble for the usage of some of the footage seen in the movie  vis a vis clinton  but the audience i attended this movie with just had some good chuckles at clintons walkons  the muchdiscussed tension between science and religion in this movie is not particularly insightful to those who have already gone through this course though it is helpful to those in the audience who have not  also  the nearfinal scene  in a senate judiciary hearing room is disappointing  contact is a fitting memorial to the memory of carl sagan  science popularizer  and sometime pedantic gadfly of the halls of academe  perhaps now  sagan can be said to be with his dragons of eden  
pos	like the wonderful 1990 drama   awakenings   starring robin williams and robert de niro   at first sight   directed by irwin winkler  is inspired by a true story documented by physicfirst sight   directed by irwin winkler  is inspired by a true story documented by physician oliver sacks  since  awakenings  was so very good  and made my top ten list the year it was released   at first sight  is not quite as strong since it is not directed with as sure a hand as penny marshall  but is still an intelligent and vibrantlyacted drama  the film begins as amy  mira sorvino   a stressedout new york architect  decides to take some time off and travel upstate to the country  at the hotel she is staying at  she makes a massage appointment and after a long  soothing session which ends with her crying as a release of emotions  she strikes up a conversation with the handsome masseur virgil  val kilmer   only to find out later that he is actually blind  amy doesnt really care if he has a handicap or not  and begins to spend time with him more and more until they finally start to fall in love  once she has returned to new york  amy begins to research on virgils certain type of retinal blindness  which he has had since three years of age  and out of a stroke of luck  comes into contact with a doctor  bruce davison  who believes he can repair virgils sight  even though there have only been thirty similar cases in history  at first reluctant  virgil finally travels with amy to nyc and agrees to the surgery  much to the hesitance of his overbearing  but loving older sister  kelly mcgillis   ultimately  the surgery is a success  but problems arise since virgil cannot relate to what he sees  since he has never visually seen anything before  only touched objects  he moves into amys apartment and she is eager to stand by him  but virgils maladjustment begins to put a strain on their relationship  on the basis of the overall story   at first sight  is indeed a film that has been done many times before  and owes a great deal to its predecessor   awakenings   what will happen throughout the film can also be easily telegraphed in advance  however  what helps  at first sight  rise above this predictability is in the mature and intelligent relationship that develops between virgil and amy  usually  romantic pictures are of the shameless puppydog sort  the recent tom hanksmeg ryanstarrer  youve got mail  immediately pops to mind   but with this film  i grew to care more about the characters and their plight  the film starts off noticably well as amy travels up north and first meets virgil  the massaging sequences were strangely erotic  maybe even more so than the later actual  love scenes   and as their romantic involvement quickly developed  the film was both entertaining and sweet  and there was clearly a lot of chemistry between the two  these joyous moments early on balanced out well with the later scenes in which their relationship is seriously tested due to a contrast in the life styles that they have always known  with virgil completely used to being blind and having a comforting  peaceful life in the country to amys eventful life in the  big city   the other major compliment that must be given to the film are the nearly flawless performances across the board  val kilmer  usually cast in the  macho  type of role  was always believable as a blind person  and playing his character was probably a little more tricky than it appears  it was up to kilmer to not come off as someone to pity  but to sympathize with  and he pulled it off  mira sorvino  who made a spectacular debuting splash in 1995s hilarious woody allen comedy   mighty aphrodite   for which she won a welldeserved oscar as a kindhearted  but ditzy hooker  is a standout here  although she has made some mediocre film choices since then  1997s  mimic   1998s  the replacement killers    she always has managed to come out unscathed  and it is with  at first sight  that she finally has another juicy role to play  in a truthful climactic scene set in amys apartment between she and virgil  sorvino proves to be one of the most gifted young actresses around today  and has a flare for both comedic and dramatic pieces  kelly mcgillis  who could have easily come off as the  bad   onedimensional sister  instead is also given an unexpectedly multifaceted character to play as a woman who may be overly protective but simply cares for her brother  finally  nathan lane  who is usually a little too overthetop  is appropriately restrained as a vision therapist  the one misstep of  at first sight  is in its treatment of the medical procedure done on virgil  very little is ever said or discussed concerning it  and when the surgery occurs  it is so briefly glimpsed at that it is impossible to see what is being done to his eyes  perhaps the reason this aspect of the film was not more indepth was that the makers were afraid it would gross out audiences  but i would personally take realism  even if it is graphic  any day over simply giving the explanation of the surgery the cold shoulder  in  awakenings   the patients and illness were far more satisfyingly portrayed  because of how strong the screenplay  written by steve levitt  is in the way it deals with the main relationship  and because of the fabulous performances from kilmer and sorvino  the films few problems can be swept over to the side  the adult way that the romance is depicted by director irwin winkler is  no doubt  in respect to the reallife couple that the film was inspired by  who are still together after many years  even though the setting of the film was changed to new york   since january is usually the time of year that is known as the dumping ground from bad movies   at first sight  comes as a refreshing and sophisticated change of pace  
pos	in the company of men made a splash at the sundance film festival because  in a year plagued by brothers mcmullenstyle  earnestly shallow genx angst pictures  it seemed to be actually about something  it angered people  started arguments outside the theater  riled things up  it ignited a spark of excitement in what otherwise has been a disappointing year for independent film  having endured my share of the hype  i waited calmly for men to reach the hinterlands wherein i reside  and then checked in to see what all the fuss was about  does men live up to its press  well  yes it does  and it may make you think twice before you consider dating anyone your office  for the uninitiated  newcomers aaron eckhart and matt malloy play chad and howard  two corporate drones who are dispatched by their nameless company to a remote branch office for a six week assignment  chad and howard are archetypes  examples of which you can no doubt find in your own place of business  chad is the blond golden boy  genetically engineered for success  the natural charmer who seems to glide effortlessly up the corporate ladder  howard is chads boss  but he is weaker of will  the clumsy practitioner of office politics who has achieved his position through dogged persistence rather than raw talent  we first meet them awaiting their flight in a drab airport lounge  there chad suggests a scheme worthy of a shakespearean villain  he and howard will find a vulnerable single woman at the branch office  woo her simultaneously  win her love  and then dump her  the reason  both men have recently been dumped themselves  and chad sees an easy route to revenge against the fairer sex   itll restore a little dignity to our lives   he says  howard  helpless against the force of chads will  agrees to the plan  they quickly spot their prey in the form of christine  stacy edwards   a fragile deaf woman working as a temp  chad moves in for the kill  flashing his golden boy smile  plying christine with lunch  then flowers  then dinner  howard follows suit  though his efforts are in contrast hamhanded and desperate  flattered to have the attention of two eligible men  christine dates them both  you can guess which one she falls for  soon a tragic lovers triangle develops  christine loves chad  chad loves himself  and howard loves christine on the grounds that  since shes handicapped and shy  she just might be wretched and lonely enough to settle for him  adult social interaction never really progresses beyond the level of junior high  does it  in chad  writerdirector labute and actor eckhart have created one of the most chilling monsters ever committed to filmhannibal lector may eat human flesh  but chad is an eater of souls  his evil is as subtle as a vipers  and as easy as his smile  we watch in stunned disbelief as he backstabs coworkers  humiliates his subordinates  and works his deadly venom into christines heart  his character would be a joke if he wasnt so chillingly real all of us have worked with a chad  and some of us may be him  hes the guy who takes your job and then laughs at you for your weakness  if one of his coworkers should happen to go postal and walk into the office with a bag full of handguns  he had best have his escape route clearly in mind  politics is his game  and the modern cubiclefilled office is his playground  men wears the guise of a black comedy  but it functions best as allegory  the most controversial moment in the film happens when chad humiliates a black temp by asking him how badly he wants to succeed in the company  then forces him to prove it in a manner i wont describe  the scene is charged with racism and fraught with peril  could it happen in the real world  probably not  taken as allegory  however  it is representative of the treatment of the meek by the powerful in all facets of society  maybe its just the english major in me  but chad  in his motiveless cruelty towards christine and his careful manipulation of howard  can be seen as a symbol of unbridled capitalism  of greed without conscience  the entire film is a metaphor for social darwinism only the strong will survive  the marvel of labutes multilayered script is that it can disturb each member of its audience in an entirely different way  but does the film work as entertainment  its darned funny in spots  particularly in the mens room scenes  which demonstrate the lengths to which guys will go to hold a conversation while engaged in the most basic of bodily functions  it works less well as drama  since by necessity the characters in an allegory tend to be flat ciphers  stacy edwards gives a measured dignity to christine  and succeeds in making us care for her  but by the end of the film we still know nothing about her  likewise  chad and howard are simply the sum of their actions  by the end of the film youll feel as if youve met a genuine monster in chad  perhaps we can also classify men as a horror film  certainly those expecting a conventional hollywood resolution to the story will walk away disappointed  but the picture is often mesmerizing  and the script is a work of fine craftsmanship  which makes it well worth your time  like all good films  it offers a myriad of parallels to the outside world  while watching chad in his moment of triumph  i couldnt help but think that bill gates must have felt the same sort of cold  merciless satisfaction when he finally stuck it to steve jobs  there may be a little bit of chad in all of us  but some of us have taken chadness to the level of art  
pos	the booming introduction music finishes  and the camera sweeps over red mountains  we see two figures looking over a barren  and very red landscape  they kiss  then walk on  one of the characters  schwarzenegger  slips  and falls  the glass on his mask cracks  his face scruches up  and his eyes begin to pop      then doug quaid  played by schwarzenegger  wakes up  its all been a dream  he wakes up next to his beautiful wife  played by stone  and the film begins    total recall is a typical scifi film wrapped around an intresting  if far fetched  plot  quaid  who has never been to mars  keeps on having dreams of the planet  which has now been colanised  one day  while riding on a train  hes sees a ad for a company called rekall  which implants memories of a holiday  instead of you actually going there yourself  quaid chooses the secret agent on mars memory  and then the s    really hits the fan  the implant goes wrong  and quaid really thinks he is an agent on mars for about two minutes  until he goes back to normal and cant remember a thing  however  everyone he knows  his workmates  his wife  turn against him  saying how blabbed about mars and blew his cover on the mission a strange man  called richter  played by ironside  wants to kill him  quaid  now hopelessly confused  follows the advice given to him  by a friend  he gets his ass to mars  mars is ruled by cohagen  played by cox  who charges people for air  against him are the rebels  who are mainly mutants  the rebels need quaid to defeat cohagen  because quaid knows  but cant remember yet  about a reactor that produces air  eventually  quaid kills cohagen  turns on the reactor  saves the planet  and goes away with a beautiful girl  just like the guy at rekall promised him  throughout this plot  there is huge explosions  thousands of deaths  and i mean a lot of death  swearing  sex  and everything else that makes a good verhoeven  director of basic instinct and starship troopers  movie  naturally  theres some pretty imaginative deaths  with arms getting ripped off  someone getting drilled  and heads exploding  as you can tell  its violent stuff  but its done so stylishly  and of course arnie tones it down with a one liner  thats it excusable  the acting is variable  arnie  of course  is useless  but he goes has some good lines  and in the first twenty minutes  he even acts like a normal bloke  not like some action hero  stone  of course  is useless  making a pretty poor wife  and a pretty poor action hero  but  she does sex scenes alright  ticoton  most recently seen in con air   again  is ok  doing some good action  but getting her emotions all wrong  one minute she hates quaid  the next she loves him  and she never gets this tranisition right  so  the good guys are awful  but  the bad guys are excellent  cox is basically reprising robocop  but hes still great in this  and he delivers the best line in the whole film near the end  ironside is superbly evil  with an utterly emotionless face  the supporting cast are fine  and not even the comedy sidekick  this time in the form of a taxi driver  is annoying  one disappointing aspect  though  are the special effects  ilm and dreamquest do some good work  such as a subway station scene  but the model work is not so good  some of the model heads look appaling fake  and quatto is a major disappointment  another irritating thing is the product placement  there are a lot of plugs  and a good mars today gag  however  the sets look great  and the special effects at the end of the film arent too bad either  theres also a good soundtrack running through  by jerry goldsmith  the omen  poltergeist  star trek  the motion picture  overall  then  total recall is a hugely violent  yet hugely enjoyable  action fest  with a reasonable plot thrown in there too  some great bad guys  and some imaganitive death  for a schwarzenegger movie  this is not bad at all  in fact  its very good  
pos	jonathan demmes beloved  based on the book toni morrison  is a study in skillful literary adaptation  on the one hand  the film manages to recreate key moments from the novel  evoking morrisons pragmatic narrative style without using her authorial voice  on the other hand  beloved omits the some of the finer details of the book  favoring an ambiguously defined back story upon which to build the storys main events  this choice is a smartly made one  for it creates an open space in which the storys wide range of emotions can gestate and grow  indeed  the impact of the film is so protracted that much of it cannot be felt until long after the end credits have rolled  beloved takes place in the second half of the 19th century  during the socalled reconstruction era after the civil war  for newlyfreed slaves  it is a time of confusion and turmoil  oprah winfrey is sethe  a slave who escaped a kentucky plantation and took her children to an ohio farmhouse  where she hoped the terror would end  what she did not know was that it would follow her there  and remain with her long after the physical threat had vanished  beloved ultimately tells the story of sethes search for forgiveness  one longhampered by an unforgettable sin  the film starts off on a dreary day ten years after sethes escape  as a violent  unseen energy rocks her dilapidated farmhouse  invisible hands terrorize her family  flinging objects across rooms  shaking tables  rattling floorboards  sethes sons run away  perhaps for good  leaving sethe and her daughter denver to fend for themselves  demmes matteroffact handling of this supernatural element is just one of beloveds intriguing aspects  all of the characters take for granted that ghosts are real  when paul d  danny glover   a former slave who escaped kentucky along with sethe  arrives at the house eight years later and is confronted with the ghosts hellish visions  he doesnt run in terror  instead  he asks who the ghost is  as in morrisons novel  demme quickly establishes that the horror of the story will not come from the fact of the ghost itself  but from the terrifying past in which the ghost was created  sethe is the one being haunted  but the ghost in the house is the least of her fears  in fact  the ghost is one of the reasons she chooses to stay  the story takes an bizarre turn with the appearance of beloved  thandie newton   a young blackclad woman who appears on sethes front lawn  leaned christlike against a tree stump  sethe and denver immediately take to the rasping woman and try to nurse her to health  they know not who she is  but that doesnt matter  only paul d is suspicious of the stranger  little does the family know that beloved will bring about many changes  and force sethe to release a guilt she has held onto so urgently for eighteen years  winfrey is arguably beloveds greatest asset  she inhabits the role of sethe so convincingly it is hard to believe this is the same woman who shines brightly on a tv talk show  lisa gay hamilton does an impressive job in the emotionally demanding role as the younger sethe  whose appalling actions make her the disturbed woman we see eighteen years later  danny glover is affable as the sympathetic paul d  as is kimberly elise as denver  sethes wanderlusting daughter  as sethes sagelike motherinlaw old baby suggs  beah richards authoritatively commands every scene in which she appears  the films least palatable choice of casting is unfortunately that of the role of beloved herself  thandie newton plays the glassyeyed girl with a demented fervor which is endearing at first  but which becomes offputting and unintentionally laughable by the end  departing from the honed aesthetic he used in such films as the silence of the lambs and melvin  howard  director demme has used a bit of dramatic overstatement to get across the vivid descriptions in morrisons novel  totemic camera shots and colorsaturated scenery are decidedly uncommon in demmes films  but the few he uses here work to the films benefit  beloveds most memorable scenes are those of baby suggs gatherings in a forest clearing  where the bright yellowgreens of nature entrance the viewer as much as suggs words do  for the most part  though  demme maintains his trademark directorial neutrality  this  combined with morrisons equally frugal method of storytelling  may make beloved somewhat of a challenge to watch  even to those familiar with the book  though the film compliments the book extraordinarily well  it falls short in allowing the sort of accessibility one usually expects from a film  nothing is spoonfed to the viewer  morrisons novel is just as enigmatic  but unlike a movie  a book can be put down to allow the various undercurrents and themes to churn and absorb  the movie begins like poltergeist  and ends like the color purple  with shades of the scarlet letter and little women somewhere in the middle  taken as a whole  beloved is a disquieting  oneofakind experience  one to be viewed with guards down and spirits in abeyance  
pos	scream 2 isnt quite as clever as its predecessor  but it fills the gap with a cutting wit  death  even gruesome  bloody death  can be funny if handled the right way  some will be offended by this statement  but you need look no further than pulp fiction for an example   and  while theres plenty of horror to go around in scream 2  the latest 90s slasher flick incarnation  there are also a few laughs to be had  scream 2 is a sliceanddice movie for those who dont take their horror too seriously  the success of the original scream took everyone in the industry by surprise  the unexpected blockbuster  whose gross soared over the 100 million mark during its six month release window  opened just about a year ago and turned into one of the most profitable horror films of all time  a sequel was inevitable  fortunately  nearly the entire creative team has returned for scream 2  including director wes craven  screenwriter kevin williamson  and actors neve campbell  courtney cox  david arquette  jamie kennedy  and liev schreiber  as stipulated by one of the  rules of sequels  uttered by a movie obsessed character in the film  the body count in scream 2 is higher than that in the original  paradoxically  theres a lot less gore  there is blood  of course  but nothing excessive by slashermovie standards  and there are no depictions of spilled entrails  craven has remembered that scares are more important that graphic displays of human insides and bodily fluids  a second strength of scream 2 is that it features a gallery of legitimate characters rather than a group of cardboard cutout stereotypes lined up for slaughter  after all  weve known some of these people for two movies  its almost impossible not to care about them at least a little  scream 2 opens approximately two years after the original  as in the first picture  theres a slick  selfmocking prologue  this time  the victims are jada pinkett and omar epps  whose characters are visiting a local theater for a preview screening of the movie stab  which is based on the  true life  events of scream   some of the smartest dialogue comes during this sequence as pinkett bemoans the lack of african american participation in horror films  its surely no coincidence that  in addition to pinkett and epps  scream 2 features two black characters   shortly thereafter  she and her boyfriend have been gutted  signaling the beginning of a series of copycat murders  craven lets loose a burst of tongueincheek creativity for the  movie within a movie  sequences  they give him an opportunity to openly parody scream  an act that he accomplishes with great panache  stab features heather graham in the  casey becker  role  played in the original by drew barrymore  and tori spelling as  sidney prescott   neve campbell   sadly  we only see a couple of scenes from stab  it would have been a little more fun  i think  had craven used joe dantes approach from matinee and shown lengthy excerpts from his satirical production  following the prologue  we are reintroduced to sidney prescott  who has left her sleepy hometown to go to windsor college  her friend randy  jamie kennedy  is a student there as well  and hes just as knowledgeable about horror films as ever  once the double murder at stab becomes big news  the media converges on windsor  looking to interview the original victim  at the head of the flock of vultures is gale weathers  courtney cox   who has a little surprise for sidney  she has brought cotton weary  liev schreiber   the man sidney falsely accused of murder  with her  also arriving at the college is deputy dewey  david arquette   who is there to act as a big brother to sidney during this latest round of tribulations  in addition to the survivors from the original scream  the field of potential victims is wellpopulated  theres a blond coed named cece  sarah michelle gellar  who has now appeared in two of williamsons movies  this one and i know what you did last summer   sidneys requisite boyfriend  derek  jerry oconnell   a local newswoman  laurie metcalf   gales new cameraman  duane martin   a british drama teacher  david warner   and several sorority sisters and wouldbe sorority sisters  portia de rossi  rebecca gayheart  elise neal  marisol nichols   ultimately  there are lots of attractive corpses  from the stab scenes to lines like  brothers dont last long in situations like this   craven and williamson are clearly having a lot of fun with scream 2  and the movie is enjoyable  if a little overlong  the livelier first hour is better than the second   their resolution to the obligatory  whodunit   is less of a letdown than it could be  and knowingly offers a wink and nod at past unmasking scenes    nice twist   quips the killer   didnt see it coming  didya    one senses  however  that  by the end of this picture  the overall concept of a hip  selfreferential slasher film has been played out  supposedly  theres going to be a scream 3  but  if the film makers dont come up with something radical  we could end up with a classic case of sequel overkill  
pos	when 17 year old beau hall  jonathan tucker   the virgin suicides   gets in a car accident after drinking with his 30 year old companion  club owner darby reese  josh lucas   session 9    his mom  margaret  tilda swinton   the war zone   pays reese a visit to convince him to leave her son alone  instead  reese travels out to their lake tahoe home and lures beau out to the boat house where beau learns that his mother was right about reese  the next morning margaret discovers darbys dead body on their beach and  suspecting the worst  weights it down in a distant part of the lake  but her troubles are just beginning  as she soon learns with the arrival of blackmailer alek spera  goran visnjic   practical magic   in  the deep end   the incredibly pale  redheaded scottish actress swinton immerses herself into the role of the reserved american supermom whose life revolves around serving the needs of her three children and livein fatherinlaw jack  peter donat   the game    she shows great strength while allowing other emotions to glimmer through  discomfort at challenging reese in his gay disco  named the deep end   near panic at having to dive down to his body to retrieve car keys  or even wry humor when an attempt to get help from jack becomes hopelessly miscommunicated  gradually her loneliness becomes apparent  her husbands a naval officer  usually away at sea  when her attempts to email him her concerns about beau are deleted and later  when a most unusual  yet chaste  romance turns tragic  its a terrific performance  the stendahl syndromelike script  adapted from elisabeth sanxay holdings 40s noir novel the blank wall by directors scott mcgehee and david siegel  would be unbelievable if not for swinton and her costar visnjic  alek spera is a wrong side of the tracks loser who arrives after reeses body has been discovered  he shows margaret a videotape of beau having sex with reese and demands 50  000 or hell turn the tape over to the reno police  subsequent visits will turn his mind set upside down and backwards  though  as he comes to admire and even love the woman he set out to blackmail  theres yet another problem  though  his partner nagle  raymond barry   dead man walking   is a harder cored criminal who wont let up until his share of the money is delivered  visnjics dark  brooding turn has an interior shading to it that makes us believe hes a victim of circumstance and environment  his turnaround is palpable as he witnesses margarets inherent decency and her workaday surroundings  also outstanding is tucker as beau  who has a terrific character arc and pas de deux with his mother  initially beaus the typical sullen teen  youre blowing this out of proportion   he says of her concerns about reese  not comprehending that his mom has enough insight to have divined the true nature of the relationship  as his mom gets in deeper and deeper trying to cover up a crime he didnt commit  beau becomes suspicious of her actions and apparent new companion  turning tables  his early black eye becomes her later split lip  while the two can never be completely honest with each other  their love for each other comes through strongly  the directors   suture   have a firm grip on their material and cast  the story builds perfectly with bold strokes amidst a myriad of subtler underpinnings  water imagery is constant  an early shot of weirdly rushing green is revealed to be a young boy cleaning out an aquarium   giles nuttgens   fire   cinematography  which won the 2001 sundance festival award  is crisp and startlingly clear  the tahoe locations and production design by kelly mcgehee and christopher tandon provide a dual personality for the film  contrasting the calm  well off existence of the lake against the gambling city of reno   the deep end  is a complex story of domino deeds and shifting relationships  take the plunge  
pos	leonardo decaprio  whats eating gilbert grape  and claire danes  tvs my so called life  star in director baz luhrmanns modernized version of william shakespeares classic  romeo  juliet  surrounded by a superb supporting cast  including paul sorvino  goodfellas   brian dennehy  tommy boy   pete poslethwaite  the usual suspects  and john leguizamo  executive decision   decaprio and danes shine throughout the film  the story starts off at a gas station  where the  montague boys  meet the  capulet boys  and square off with one another  symbolizing the swords of shakespeares day were their weapons  like the  rapier9mm  or the  longsword shotgun   instead of killing each other right away  they shoot around  just like in sword fights of old  another great thing about the film was the performance of harold perrineau as romeos best friend  mercutio  who in shakespeares novel was quite a stud  was portrayed as an africanamerican crossdresser whose violent nature  was a definite plus  miriam margoyles  a virtually unknown actress was astounding as juliets nurse  even though she was never given a name  she was the only one who could keep juliet out of her fantasy world  verona was the home of the rival families in shakespeares version  only slightly changed in luhrmanns  now known as verona beach  the capulets  led by sorvino  and montagues  led by dennehy  are now rival corporate dynasties  and their small family skirmishes were now huge gang wars  one slight problem with the film was the difficulty to comprehend the dialogue  since it was spoken in old english  subtitles could have helped in the beginning of the movie  but toward the end  it became easier to understand  this excellent movie poses another problem  what genre is it  romeo  juliet contains so much drama  yet enough comedy and action to be placed in either of those categories  with the same awardwinning formula that was used by quentin tarantino in reservoir dogs and pulp fiction  romeo  juliet is a sure fire modern masterpiece   
pos	voices      trey parker  matt stone  george clooney  minnie driver   south park  bigger  longer and uncut  is undoubtedly crude  offensive  meanspirited movie  that comes off as a politcally correct movie too  if your canadian  a strong christian  fat  gay or anything else  you will be offended  but when you watch this movie  there is no doubt that you will laugh  based on the wildly popular comedy central tv show  south park stars cartman  an overweight  foulmouthed kid  with attitude  and a sweet side  kenny  a poor kid who gets killed in every episode  and talks with his coat hood covering his head  stan a regular  sometimes boring kid who has problems with women  and kyle a lonely jew who talks to his poop  the movie opens with a funny  but messageable song  that all of the people of south park sing  cartman  stan  kenny and kyle are very excited to see the new terrance and phillip  beavis and butthead types  movie  asses of fire   but when the kids get up to the movie to get the tickets  they learn the movie is rated r  which of course means that anyone under the age of 17 cannot get in without a parent or legal guardian  the kids do not understand this  and they pay a homeless man to buy their tickets  while in the movie  laughing at the movie  terrance and phillip cuss repeatedly entertaining the kids  they kids then go out and cuss themselves  getting in trouble and causing kyles mom to go against the mpaa  while doing this kenny learns a thing or to  by proving to cartman he can light his fart on fire  kenny does so  dies  and goes to hell  to find out that satan and saddam huiessan  homosexual lovers   are about to take over the world  if terrance and phillip die  from here on  nothing more should be said to keep the rest a surprise  but believe me  this isnt your regular south park tv show  and should not be seen by anyone under 14 or more  this film contains extreme profanity  over 130  f  words and a collection of others   but beyond being bad in a tasteless type way  south park  bigger  longer and uncut has many messages that are embedded inside it  but i bet you will not leave the movie  for at least laughing one time or more  and enjoying yourself  take it from me  south park  b  l  and u  isnt as good as youd hope  but it is good for some laughs  
pos	why do people hate the spice girls   what exactly have they done wrong  other than perhaps offend the fashion police   so what if they are not  great  singersthey aint singing opera  folks  its pop music   who exactly is a  great  singer  judging by that opening paragraph it is obvious that i like the spice girls   they do what they dosing some catchy tunesand they do it pretty well   they are able to carry that into their first film   spice world     spice world  certainly isnt a great filmgoing experience    what it is what the spice girls are all about  fun  songs  and a lot of  girl power   drawing from a number of different films  like the beatles  hard days night    spice world  chronicles the week heading up to the girls first concert at londons albert hall   they get to tool around london in a big ol bus  driven by meat loaf   and generally have fun   in order to through a semblence of plot into the film  there is an evil tabloid publisher played by barry humphries  better known to americans  for about 15 minutes  as dame edna  remember her    he wants to sabotage the girls concert so he can sell papers  of course  the point in a movie like  spice world  isnt plot   the center of the film is the spice girls themselves  ginger  the recently departed geri haliwell   posh  victoria adams   sporty  melanie chisolm   scary  melanie brown   and baby  emma bunton    each one has their own personality and  perhaps the best part of the film  look like they are having some honesttogoodness fun  something that cant be said for a lot of people in films today  along for the ride are richard e  grant as their manager  clifford  and various other characters making quick cameo appearances  including teriffic british actors like richard briers and stephen fry    and  every once and a while  roger moore pops up as the chief to spout odd koans  added bonus  he gets to  in the words of craig kilborn  dance  dance  dance   watching this film was fun  for the most part   there are a few slow segments  but overly  director bob spiers keeps things moving at a quick pace  with plenty of hummable spice girls songs in the background   his camerawork is fairly pedestrian  though the final concert number is done quite well with effective use of editing   the look of the film promotes the high fun  with the design of the spicebus being quite original and eyecatching   add in walltowall spice girls music and this film is lovable romp   if you dont like the spice girls  you wont change your mind with this film   but  if you find them at least tolerable  get ready to sit back and chill because the spice girls are here to entertain you    and do it quite well    spice world   1998    directed by bob spiers   written by kim fuller   music by the spice girls   with geri halliwell  victoria adams  melanie chisolm  melanie brown  emma bunton  richard e  grant  claire rushbrook  roger moore   distributed by columbia pictures   running time  92 minutes   rated  pg   available on home video   29 june 1998 
pos	more than forty years ago  the  sword and sandals  genre of historical epic ruled the box office  during the 1950s hollywood sought to give audiences a reason to turn off their televisions and go out to the movies by offering the grand spectacle of the roman empire in cinemascope   benhur    cleopatra    the robe    sparticus    the fall of the roman empire    quo vadis   sometimes brilliant  sometimes campy  the roman epic was the technicolor funeral pyre of classic hollywood  since then  epics have appeared infrequently   the last emperor    braveheart   and some of the best have been smallscreen affairs produced in the 1970s   roots    shogun    yet  the phrase  we who are about to die salute you  has been absent until now   gladiator  begins in germania in a  d  180  roman general maximus  russell crowe  has conquered yet another group of barbarians for his emperor marcus aurelius  richard harris   and he is eager to retire to his plantation in spain where his wife and son are waiting  however  the emperor is worried that his decadent weakling son commodus  joaquin phoenix  will prove a poor successor  so he wants to make maximus his heir as a transition toward rome becoming a republic again  when commodus hears the plan  he strangles his father and orders maximus and his family murdered  maximus escapes from the executioners  but he arrives home too late to save his wife and son  a caravan of slavers pick up the wounded hero and carry him off to north africa   why the caravan happened to be cruising by maximus place is never explained   an african named juba  djimon hounsou  treats maximus wounds  proximo  oliver reed   a gladiator who won his freedom  purchases maximus and juba as fodder for the arena  of course  maximus proves as able a gladiator as he was a soldier  and his fame spreads  when commodus reopens the coliseum  proximo brings his troupe of warriors to rome to compete  our hero wins the hearts and minds of the cheering crowds and finds that he has an ally in commodus sister lucilla  connie nielsen   the similarities to  braveheart  are obvious  an evil king  a determined warrior seeking revenge for his murdered family  the aid of a lovestruck princess  also  like mel gibsons epic   gladiator  has a primarily visceral appeal and is driven forward by the heros anger  its a simple tale of good versus evil  maximus has all the manly virtues  nobility of purpose  courage in battle  loyalty to king and country  physical stamina  and devotion to family  commodus is his opposite in every way  a sniveling  selfish coward who is intended to disgust the audience  the opening night crowd in my theater was about 70 male  and that seems appropriate   gladiator  is a guy movie  would the opposite of a  chick flick  be a  dick flick     theres much pumping of testosterone and chopping off of body parts in gruesome battle sequences   those easily offended by gore should stay away   lucilla is the only female character  and what sparks there are between her and maximus are dampened by his devotion to his dead wife  joaquin phoenix gives an astounding performance  in the scene where commodus kills his father  phoenix shows the pain of a son who has never had his fathers love or pride  throughout the picture  phoenix manages to give depth to a character whos scripted as a caricature of evil  ive been a russell crowe fan since  romper stomper   this role doesnt offer him the complexities of his parts in  l  a  confidential  and  the insider   essentially his job is to grunt heroically  but his voice  which has a richard burton resonance textured by a clint eastwood rasp  is perfect for the genre  the late oliver reed gave us the best work of his career in his last role  i hope it will be rewarded with an oscar  my only major quibble with  gladiator  is its stylized look  several scenes are tinted  weve seen a lot of the tinted look lately  particularly in  payback  and  the matrix   i dont get the appeal of the style  which makes feature films look like tv ads  in  payback  it was merely annoying  but in  gladiator  it bleaches the color out of the grand spectacles that are the raison detre of the roman epic   perhaps its meant to gloss over the imperfections of the computergenerated shots   also  the battle scenes are filmed in a strange herky jerky style that seems to be slo mo and fast forward simultaneously   it reminds me of the way the flash runs in the comic books  leaving a halfblurred trail of images of himself behind   with a more realistic look   gladiator  could be even more satisfying than  braveheart  because it has a tighter script and a more fulfilling conclusion  bottom line  a rousing action film enriched by fine performances but tarnished by stylistic choices  
pos	the andromeda strain is the greatest science fiction film ever made  i know that is very sweeping statement  so ill qualify it by adding that the andromeda strain is one of the few films made that genuinely deserve the label of  science fiction   stories in which speculative science is at the core of the plot  2001  a space odyssey is probably a better film  but it really only qualifies as science fiction if you consider metaphysics to be a science  most all other films we normally classify as science fiction  or sf  are really just fantasy  action or horror stories set in a futuristic setting  the andromeda strain starts out with two soldiers in a hightech  for 1970  van looking for a crashed satellite in a tiny new mexico town  something bad happens to them  pictures from a reconnaissance plane show a shocking sight  apparently everyone in the town is dead  the authorities call a  wildfire alert   summoning four scientists  all but one of them somewhat reluctant  to a supersecret underground germ warfare laboratory in nevada  two of scientists  stone and hall  fly directly to the town in space suits and find a town where almost every single resident literally dropped in their tracks  their blood turned to powder in their veins  some went insane before they died and two of them  a baby and an old wino  are miraculously still alive  they take the survivors and the satellite back to the lab  where stone pressures the white house to call up a  directive 712   an executive order to cauterize the area around the town with a nuclear bomb  what they find on the satellite when they get back to the lab is andromeda  an organism that defies all the normal rules of earthlike life and mutates as it grows  their only hope to cure it is to find out what a perfectly healthy baby boy has in common with an old derelict  what they find out is that organism feeds directly on energy and that detonating the abomb over the town would only spread it across the entire planet  they barely call off the bombing in time  but then the organism mutates into something that threatens to eat through the labs defenses and break out  this triggers the labs lastditch defense mechanism  an atomic bomb  to those raised on the brainless action fare that pollutes movie theaters these days  the andromeda strain will probably seem interminably slow  much of the film is a lot of people standing around looking at video screens and computer readouts  but what the characters see on those screens ratchets up the tension with every turn of the screw  the performances are universally fine  with the actors keeping things lowkey and restrained  just like scientists  to me  the real appeal of this film is the fact that it shows scientists acting like scientists and makes it seem exciting  we follow the logic of their deduction step by methodical step  puzzling like they do every time andromeda behaves in a way we dont expect  this film is only available on wide screen on dvd and that is the way to see it  it was originally rated g when first released but it now carries the pg rating  mostly for very mild nudity and one scene in which a bodys wrist is slashed  spilling its powdered blood  
pos	 its not good to know too much about someone  charlie   charles warns his niece  charlie  margaret welsh   with a devilish grin  charlie is infatuated with her namesake uncle  her  soul mate  as she calls him since her mother gave her his name  theres a lot to know about charles  not the least of which is that he strangled 3 widows back east  mark harmon  who looks like anything but a killer but specializes in playing them  plays charles  the merry widow murderer in the 1991 hallmark hall of fame remake of the 1943 hitchcock film  shadow of a doubt  and to avoid any questions about his guilt  we see charles in action in the opening scene with his last victim  the story takes place in the early 1950s in the small town of petaluma  california  where charles heads to avoid the police  john gays script uses most of the original screenplay by sally benson  alma reville  and thornton wilder  karen arthurs direction is certainly no match for the great master  but on an absolute scale  the movie maintains a high level of suspense  when supercilious and deceitful charles comes to pay a visit of indeterminate length with his sister and her family in petaluma  they dont know about his nefarious activities  he showers them with elaborate gifts to buy the love they had already given him anyway  two mysterious and exceedingly cleancut writers for a magazine show up to take pictures of the family for a spread on the  average american family   but their interest is focused on uncle charles  especially on taking his picture and learning about his background  charlie  who first welcomed her uncles visit  begins to feel more and more uncomfortable with him and suspicious of the disingenuous magazine reporters  the picture advances with a delicate power using small details such as the newspaper article that the uncle tries secretly to remove and that charlie discovers  the beauty of the story is the pas de deux between uncle and niece as they try to out psych each other  she wants him to leave  and he doesnt want to go  what with a local  rich widow as a prospective victim  will charles kill charlie first  or will she get him out of town  harmon is wonderfully creepy and smug  and welsh is tough but trapped  with a deft touch the director sets up each scene  several with thunderstorms  and tom neuwirths sepiatoned cinematography makes the movie feel as if it were filmed in the 50s  my only quibble is the directors awkward staging of the final scene on the train  is hitchcocks version better  of course  is this one worth watching as well  actually  yes  shadow of a doubt runs 1  40  it is not rated but would be pg for adult themes and would be fine for kids around nine and up  
pos	do you want to know the truth about cats and dogs  do you  well  as this movie shows us  they make good companions but pale in comparison to the joy and fulfillment romantic relationships can bring  unfortunately  theres a giant roadblock set up in our culture that only certain people can get through while the rest of us mill around outside  feeling sorry for ourselves  a checkpoint beautiful kind of thing  and janeane garafolos character abby relates to it well  like a certain oversized teenage movie critic  she is intelligent and has a great sense of humor but strikes out with the opposite sex because she sees herself as physically unattractive  and the men seem to be backing her up on that  meanwhile  her gorgeous neighbor nora  uma thurman    uma being the only womans name worse than nora  attracts men like flies  as abby tells her   you burp and they think its cute  you barf and they line up to hold your hair back   but noras down on herself for being too shallow and superficial  we all have our prwhen a man calls in to veterinarian abbys talk radio show wanting to know how to get the roller skates off his basset hound   oh come on  any idiot knows how to handle that problem   he likes her personality and professional demeanor and asks to meet her in person  abby  though  knows her body doesnt match her personality and that she probably wont have a chance with him once he sees her  so she gives him noras body description and stands him up  nora happens to be in the studio the next day when the dog man comes by and abby asks her for a big favor  she goes along with the masquerade and the three of them head out for a night of fun  abby assuming the role of a goat cheese farmer named donna  the dog man finds out even though this girl is beautiful  shes not quite as intellectual or confident about herself in person  but he doesnt suspect anything  realizing hes not living in a  threes company  episode  the charade continues  with abby furthering the relationship over the phone  including a decidedly unnecessary phone sexmasturbation sequence  and nora furthering it in person  while eventually finding herself attracted to the dog man  like sleepless in seattle  this comedyromance is predictable all the way through  but we care enough about the characters that we root them on and will the romance to blossom  the truth about cats and dogs isnt quite as entertaining as i was expecting it to be  but it handles well a theme i could identify with  the thing is  i find janeane garafolo rather attractive  shes no uma but im sure in real life shed have no problems attracting men  i  on the other hand  couldnt attract a man to save my life    and am rather proud of that fact  
pos	alien 3 is the only alien film i have seen in theaters  i saw it when i was 13 years old  and i must admit that i didnt like it  of course  i was expecting aliens again  and i believe this was my fault  in order to appreciate alien 3  you need to see aliens  but you also have to wipe away all the expectations from its predecessor  james camerons aliens was an action film  and many people consider it the best in the series  i am among that group  but alien 3 is an extremely entertaining film  which critics have bashed for its originality  many thought the final chase scene went on for too long  and many others thought that the film was too much dialogue and not enough action  both are untrue  because the film has quite a bit of action  and the dialogue was essential and wellwritten  as for the chase sequence  it was long  but not overly long  creating quite a bit of suspense from confusion  perhaps watching alien 3 on video helped  on the big screen  i was overwhelmed by something i normally didnt see  it was a very dark film  and the language was extremely harsh  i had always figured the alien series to rely on smart dialogue instead of moronic profanities  dont get me wrongim not saying films should eliminate swearing  but when a film substitutes dialogue with these profane remarks  it gets rather distracting  however  since seeing it again  i realize that the swearing is mainly just an aspect of the restrained hatred in the characters  as a result  alien 3s only flaw  albeit a major one  is the underdeveloped characters  we never really care about any of them  and i get the feeling that many scenes were cut in order to shorten the length of the movie  there were only two characters i liked  and of course one was lt  ripley  sigourney weaver   although we have gotten to know her through two other films  the other character was dr  clemens  charles dance   but because we like him  the inevitable occurs  alien 3 begins exactly where aliens left off  the prologue of alien 3 is a pure cinematic achievement by director david fincher  who had only directed music videos before his chance with this alien entry  without using a single line of dialogue  unless you count computer warnings   fincher sets up the entire film  an impressive aspect of this is that fincher only shows a few seconds of film before cutting to a title card  we see lt  ripley and the little girl in their cryogenic compartments     title     a shot of an alien egg     title     alien legs stretch up into the air     title     and so on and so on  during these first ten minutes  i learned everything i had to in order for alien 3 to proceed  its quite a remarkable opening  and one which will remain in my mind for a long time  because of this facehugger which has been hatched aboard the vessel from aliens  the hypersleep containers are sent into an escape pod  and sent down to the nearest planet  fiorina fury161  an ore refinery which has been turned into a maximum security prison  however  the facehugger managed to attach itself to one of the cryotubes  and is sent down with the escape pod  unfortunately  during the landing  all but one of the survivors from aliens is killed  ripley is discovered by some of the inmates and taken back to the refinery  of course  you need a carrier for this facehugger  and it attachs itself to the dog which came with the team of inmates  ripley is revived and asks to see the ship  after seeing a mysterious acideaten section  ripley asks to see the dead bodies  and then have them cremated  this cremation scene is one of the most powerful and impressive of all the alien films  featuring a monologue from dillon  charles s  dutton   a prisoner who has found god  the movie cuts back and forth from the ceremony to the dogs demise  its one of the most memorable moments  as the speech reflects exactly what is going on with the dog  and this is where alien 3 succeeds  fincher normally injects a lot of symbolism into his films  and i can easily see him becoming the next stanley kubrick or alfred hitchcock  in fact  he is the mixture of both   fincher knows exactly what to film and how to film it  and i figure that he will be one of the few directors with complete control over his films  alien 3 is riddled with symbolic speeches and metaphorical images  by doing so  fincher creates some of the best scenes in the entire alien franchise  many people have criticized finchers filming of the death scene of ripley  i reveal nothing by saying this  as looking too fake  but i enjoy and relish in the portrayal  showing ripley fall in slow motion is a nice touch  but by actually not showing her hit the vat of iron  a great deal of symbolism is derived  i feel that it would have spoiled the mood of the entire film if they had actually shown her splash into the molten iron  however  most people seem to want to witness ripley die  which creates a paradox  as she is the character i didnt want to see die   why she is killed is one of the surprises of the film  and i dont plan on spoiling that in this review  from every alien film comes several memorable moments which seem to stick with you forever  in alien  it was  of course  the moment the alien burst out of kanes stomach  in aliens  it was the showdown between alien and ripley in a machine  alien 3 has several  but most memorable is the terrific shot involving the alien and ripley  ripley is pushed up against a wall  and the alien stands inches away from her  why it doesnt kill her is a shocker  which later leads to a surprise ending  fincher apparently loves to use closeups of actors faces  michael douglas and the clown faceoff in the game in the same style   and by shaving off the actors hair  the only thing we have to look at is their faces  many critics didnt like all the actors being bald  but it makes complete sense when taken in context of the plot  most of alien 3 works when you take it in context of the story  but when you try to compare it to its predecessors  finchers turn seems a bit gloomy and dark  though thats not always a bad thing  the plot is pretty much a rehash of the first two films  with some major twists  again  we are setup with several different characters  and one by one  they are picked off  however  while the first two had tons of arsenal  especially camerons film   alien 3 takes place on a planet devoid of human life except for this rundown prison  as a result  no weapons are to be found  this creates a lot of tension  although i must admit that fincher could have added a lot more suspense  as an alien film  alien 3 is the worst of the series  but by itself  it is an extremely wellmade motion picture  with a lot more merits than not  the unfortunate thing surrounding this second sequel is the onedimensional characters  i never was really emotionally involved on screen because most of the characters are hardcore criminals whom i really could care less about  despite this  ripley was the central figure  and thats what is important  we care for her  even though she began to act just like one of the guys  again  the technical side of this film is remarkable  and better than the two previous versions  while camerons version was a pumped up action film with massive artillary  fincher uses brilliant camera angles  terrific lighting  and moody sets  the cinematography  by alex thomson  is very well done  with a terrific chase sequence towards the end of the movie  the confusion of the ending draws the viewer in  as we are just as confused as the actors who are being chased around  the yellows  reds  and oranges of the lights create a dark mood  and by themselves create a lot of suspense  shadows dance on the walls  and yet those shadows could easily be the alien  the alien is different from its predecessors this time around  and the swiftness of this alien is quite intense  the camera likes to take up the perspective of the alien  racing after the characters  the sets are quite incredible  which are reminiscient of the nostromo from alien  the narrow corridors and labrynthine hallways is well constructed  the sets appear to be in the future  but not too far in the future  one of the set pieces even aids in the destruction of the alien  nothing surprising there   sigourney weaver turns out yet another good performance  equaling her portrayal of ripley in aliens  she was snubbed at the oscars for this one  mainly because the film was a critical bomb  her reactions are far more realistic in this film  with her crying over the loss of the little child she risked her life saving in her previous encounter  its quite touching really  charles s  dutton is very strong in his performance as one of the inmates  and i was on the brink of actually caring for him  charles dance turns in a nice lowkey performance  and as a result  i cared for him immediately  lance henriksen makes a brief appearance as bishop ii  but he was more entertaining in aliens  the rest of the cast is pretty stale  though pete postlethwaite sticks out due to his recent turns in the usual suspects and the lost world  alien 3 is rated r for strong violence and language  and sex  although it has its flaws  alien 3 is highly entertaining with rich symbolism  this film reminds you how much fun it is to spot metaphorical images throughout a movie  while kubrick may have a moral message throughout his films  fincher relies on cinematic devices to bring his meanings out  its a film like finchers which reminds us that it is okay for a film to sacrifice quality for quantity  the final scene   in fact  it tells us that we  as a society  have become too critical of things which may happen to look a little  fake   whenever something looks fake on screen  we immediately point it out as a mistake  but perhaps it isnt a mistake  
pos	ultra low budget but extremely inventive horror film about a group of friends vacationing in a cabin who accidentally awaken an evil force in the woods via the necronomicon  the book of the dead  bruce campbell stars as ash  who eventually becomes the sole survivor and has to battle both the demons from the woods  and his friends who have become demons  including his own girlfriend   the results shown on screen are amazing considering the films tiny budget  constant location changes  and a filming schedule that was sporadic over two years  followed by two sequels  evil dead ii  1987  and army of darkness  1993   the dvd release of this film from elite entertainment contains the film in its original aspect ratio of 1  33  1  the disc contains two versions of the films audio  a stereo 2  0 track and a newly remastered dolby digital 5  1  included are two separate running commentary tracks  the first features writerdirector sam raimi and producer rob tapert and the second track features the films star  bruce campbell  campbells commentary is informative and extremely witty  as he has a story to tell for virtually every scene in the film  such informative tidbits include  the original title of the film was going to be book of the dead  and in fact when the film premiered in 1981 that was its title  and when they were asked to change the title to the evil dead  everyone thought it was the worst title they had ever heard  also  theres a scene early on in the film where the group sits around and listens to a tape recorder which theyve found thats explaining about the demonic forces in the woods  for that scene  it was written for the characters to be smoking marijuana  so being the wacky kids that they were at the time  they decided to actually smoke marijuana for the scene  almost all of that footage became unusable because many of the actors had never smoked before  and as a result they became  confused  and were unable to perform the scene  i wish the entertainment factor was as high for the sam raimirob tapert audio track  the two people youd think would be more enthusiastic in talking about this film instead barely have much to say at all  dont get me wrong here  when they do speak its entertaining to hear  but there are many instances where both are silent for long periods of time  sometimes after one of those long silences rob will ask  have anything to say sam   to me  thats not a good sign  also  it seems like sam raimi doesnt remember much about the film and its production    well  compared to rob and bruce anyway  also included on the disc is a photo gallery  which includes pictures from the films  gala  premiere  and about twenty minutes of raw footage from the film  this raw footage really shows you how much a film can be improved upon using simple audio techniques  overall  the evil dead is a good low budget horror film  superior to many films in its genre  and the collectors edition dvd release is well worth your time if youre either a fan of the film or just a fan of the filmmaking process  all special edition dvds should be this thorough and entertaining  
pos	elmore leonard has quickly become one of hollywoods favorite authors  out of four film adaptations in as many years  the witty and inventive out of sight gives get shorty a run for its money as the best leonard adaptation around  george clooney stars as jack foley  a nice bank robber    you know the type  he uses his charm and his wits rather than a gun  but even charming guys end up unlucky  and jack ends up in jail  but not for long  he plots an escape with the help of his best friend  and fellow robber  buddy bragg  ving rhames   and their slowwitted pothead associate  glenn michaels  steve zahn   but jack didnt count on u  s  marshal karen sisco  jennifer lopez   appearing at the right place at the wrong time  karen gets involved in foleys escape attempt and the subsequent manhunt to bring him in  however  karen develops a rapport with jack foley  and finds that she begrudgingly likes the guy  but  can love prosper on opposite sides of the law  or can karen straighten out jack before he goes too far in pursuit of just one last crime  clooney  who has had a string of solid  but never stellar  film roles  delivers his best performance to date  he blends into his role here perfectly as the risk taking jack foley  whos willing to gamble everything on the chance that karen sisco might be his true love  jennifer lopez does an excellent job as well  she actually has a trickier role than clooney  as a woman who has to balance her emotions with her sense of duty  she and clooney develop good chemistry together  the film boasts a superb ensemble  steve zahn gives a hilarious performance  and steals nearly every scene hes in  don cheadle is appropriately sinister as a violent excon who may or may not be teaming up with foley  albert brooks is enjoyable as a white collar criminal who talks too much for his own good  out of the cast  only dennis farina seems underused as karens exlawman father  steven soderbergh gives the film sharp and stylistic direction  with an affectation for freeze frames  he delivers a unique take on the films action and love scenes that places out of sight a notch above routine crime films  a recurring series of flashbacks makes the film seem more complex than it actually is  devoid of its bells and whistles  out of sight is actually a fairly straightforward crime story  however  there are only a few spots in the film that seem bare  and they pass quickly  with smart dialogue  good characters  and an excellent cast  out of sight easily smoothes over the rough spots in the plot and delivers on both the action and romantic fronts  
pos	bob the happy bastards quickie review  the matrix whats worse than y2k  how about a fully digital future where nothing is real  thats what computer programmer neo  keanu reeves  slowly learns as he enters the dangerous world that is the matrix  a movie directed by the wachowski brothers  the guys behind the hip thriller bound   before you groan at the presence of reeves in the lead role  hold on  theres actually a story with depth here  it seems that a group of hackers is out to stop the system that is the matrix  led by the bald but brilliant laurence fishburne and assisted by carrie ann moss  who looks quite cool in leather  i must say  neo  reeves  is pretty much a key player in this fight  although he really doesnt look it at first  could this amateur be  the one  as fisburne thinks he is  credit the wachowskis for putting together a great story that allows suspense to build  something that few special effectsladen films seem to do these days  theres plenty of effects to go around  of course  but at least theres a backbone to build them on as well  reeves is surprisingly good in his role as neo  particularly in a fight scene with fishburne that comes across as goofy  yet great  i wish the villains werent quite so  generic   leftover gmen from looking for a sweet scifi actioner with plenty of stopmotion swooping camera angles and  of course  a motherlode of a helicopter explosion  now the wachowskis are headed into horror films with their next project  bring it on  
pos	martin scorseses kundun  which chronicles roughly the first twenty years of the life of the currently exiled dalai lama  has been criticized for its lack of narrative structure  personally  i dont think it needs one  it works perfectly well as a study of tibetan buddhist culture and how communist china  scorsese views the dalai lama the way many tibetans probably do  as a largerthanlife symbol of buddhist spirituality and political leadership  the only glimpses into his head come from several interesting yet oblique dream sequences  but his portrayal is appropriate for a film that concentrates on the political and spiritual rather than the personal  the set design and cinematography are outstanding  and while scorsese occasionally seems to get carried away with the spectacle  it helps to augment the cultural contrast when the dalai lama travels to china to meet chairman mao  political art sometimes succumbs to the temptation to start shouting slogans  kundun does not  it succeeds in delivering its message in an artistically interesting way and without being overly manipulative  
pos	synopsis  upper middle class  suburban family man lester  kevin spacey  realizes that he is just going through the motions  he is unable to feel passion  he is soulless  cynical  and no longer able to feel the edge between success and failure  everyone else around him has similar symptoms  lesters unassertive daughter jane  thora birch  is too lethargic to change her world  yet all too ready to whine and complain  his wife carolyn  annette bening  is reduced to keeping up appearances and reciting commercialist slogans  and these are people with a big house and a decent standard of living  the only person who seems able to appreciate beauty and freedom and life is the person most deprived of it  a dopedealing teen from across the street who is practically imprisoned by a domineering  bullying father  when lester embarks on a mad scramble to feel the edge again  the fact that he has quit his job to feel what its like   and his newfound interest in exercise to impress a teenage girl   ruffle a lot of feathers in the family  will lester regain his ability to appreciate life  opinion  people say it all the time  you never appreciate good health until its gone  likewise  people raised in fabulously pampered prosperity can become unhappy and spiteful over the dumbest  most inconsequential problems  simply because they have no clue how good they have it  sometimes it takes a near fall   accidentally or through deliberate fasting   to move out of apathy and reclaim your ability to challenge the world  the deprivationappreciation cycle is a major theme of american beauty  american beauty is a nonformula  intelligent and articulate movie that offers fantastic performances by everyone in the cast  especially kevin spacey  who is simply gosh darn amazing this movie  the thing i like about american beauty is that there is no sentimental music  no hospital scene nor any overly dramatic hokum  the movie entertains and offers brilliant performances just as is  if you are in the mood for a thoughtful  nonformula flick  i highly recommend american beauty  
pos	though it is a fine piece of filmmaking  theres something about elizabeth    that left me a bit cold  and i think it is something that bugs me quite often in films  particularly these days  i just didnt care about the characters  to me  the first and foremost job of a filmmaker is to create characters  be they imagined or historical as the case may be  that the audience gives a hoot about  and though elizabeth works well on many levels  it falls short of excellence because of that very reason  elizabeth takes place in england in 1554  as queen mary  half sister of elizabeth and a monarch on the side of catholicism is dying  before she dies  though  she cannot bear to sign a document which would condemn her half sister to death because of her heretical protestant beliefs  as a result  amidst much anger within the council  elizabeth becomes the queen of england  the film chronicles her rise to power as she fights for a unified church of england and tries to bring order to her personal and political life  much of the film deals with elizabeths love for lord robert  a mysterious man who thrusts his lordship onto many a woman as he continues to proclaim his love for the queen  there is much ado about her lack of a husband  and political pressures from spain and france enter into the equation  the problem with the film lies with this as its centerpiece  as love interests are such a character driven element  i didnt much care about the characters  perhaps aside for elizabeth who is played quite well by blanchett  and so i didnt have much interest in who would join her in her nuptials  the cast is rounded out well with the marvelous rush who plays the queens most loyal advisor  sir francis  and attenborough as a wellmeaning but oldfashioned lead council  why then  you must be asking  do i recommend elizabeth  simply because it is the result of a perfect pairing of director and cinematographer  kapur and his cinematographer remi adefarasin  neither of whom i have heard  create a beautifully realized piece of filmmkaing from the technical side  the light streams through each frame as in any painting from the period and beautifully captures the realistic light sources that would have been found in churches  cellars and castles in 16th century europe  each frame is rich with color contrasted with blackness or blownout white light from windows  the costumes by alexandra byrne deserve a mention as they are such an inportant aspect of each shot  indeed  elizabeth is one of the most visually beautiful films of the decade  ranking with kundun and braveheart  watch also for the incredibly  godfatheresque  mass murder scene  it made me think in retrospect of the similarities between the two films  
pos	carolco pictures and dutch director paul verhoeven  robocop  came together to create the 1990 mega hit that is total recall  the film is a masterpiece of sets  action  and special effects  action and science fiction just dont get any better than this  the story involves a construction worker named douglas quaid  arnold schwarzenegger  who lives on earth with his beautiful wife lori  sharon stone   quaid is obsessed with mars and decides to go with the second best choice  a brain implant  fake memory  of a two week vacation on mars  while being implanted a memory cap is triggered and the doctors realize that quaids memory has previously been erased  now the people who did it are after him  quaid must find out who he really is and why these people want him dead  the plot unfolds at a rapid pace explaining itself through great action  special effects  and twist after mindboggling twist  it grabs you and never lets go  this film is a winner from beginning to end  the plot is superb  combining the best elements of science fiction and psychological mystery to create a riproaring saga  schwarzenegger gives his best performance ever  and the supporting cast is good too  the action and stunts are terrific  the sets are huge and elaborate with a lot of attention payed to detail  the music and sound effects are perfect for the film and really add a certain level of impact to the action  the makeup effects by rob bottin  the howling  the thing  and robocop  are top notch  not to mention extremely outlandish  the visual effects by dream quest  the abyss  and industrial light and magic  star wars trilogy  jurassic park  and terminator 2  are phenomenal  the visuals had such a state of the art  slickness  that they won an oscar  of course the film isnt always realistic  its more fiction than science  for example  it is true that a body wont explode in the vacuum of space but in total recall they do  who cares  its a movie  movies are supposed to entertain  and in my opinion this film achieves an entertainment level in film that is so terrific  it may be impossible to beat  
pos	with the abundance of trite  recycled movies in the late 90s  there is a tremendous demand by movie lovers  never mind movie critics  for movies that present the wide film audience with something truly original  perhaps audaciously  perhaps purely thematically  for the former  you need look no further than director tom tykwers incredible german thriller run lola run  a movie that may make some viewers need a cooling off period afterwards  lola  a contemporary gothgirl with blazing red hair receives a desperate phone call from her boyfriend manni one day  it seems that because she was late delivering something he lost a bag containing a hundred thousand marks  and if he doesnt deliver a hundred thousand marks within the next twenty minutes  he will be killed  this gives lola twenty minutes to come up with 100  000 marks  or her boyfriend dies  so she runs  not just jogs  sprints  in hopes that somehow  someway  shell be able to obtain the money and save a life  from there  as critic steve rhodes described it  run lola run plays a bit like  sliding doors on steroids  with a nonstop techno soundtrack  wierd camerawork  all kinds of insane zooms and a truly breakneck pace  anyone that is bored with run lola run has to be smoking something  indeed  the movie is often outrageously exciting  as well as bitterly ironic and subtly serious  very much like titanic  run lola run is an achievement with filmmaking much more than it is an achievement in film  the way the movie is made  for pure visual style  tykwers movie is breathtaking  literally  sometimes   thematically it does leave something to be desired  it toys around with some intriguing ideas but does occasionally seem as if there is little substance behind all of the flash  while you are watching  this will not matter  running a breezy 81 minutes  this is one movie i wished was longer because it was so damn good while it lasted  it is the equivalent of a rollercoaster in the amount of thrills and fun that it offers   1999 eugene novikov137  
pos	i was anxious to see this for a long time  a friend of mine recommended this to me because he has a crush on neve campbell  and he wanted to prove that shes as hot as he thinks he is  he proved it for me all right  but the reasons i enjoy this film go way beyond that  scream treads on familar ground  horror movie with  as star neve campbell puts it   some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who cant act whos always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door   its very familar  your typical horror film  so why  you may ask after watching it  does it seem so new and original  because it treats itself as if it hasnt been done before  and thus the viewer is disilusioned into believing that it is not old  familar tired stuff  this raises another question  how does it do this  simple  the characters  theyre not your typical stupid horror film victims who dont know what the hell to do when being chased by a guy in a ski mask and a machette  they are horror fans  they know how stuff happens in a horror movie  they know what to do and what not to do  and that makes it scary  and even funny at certain times  you can tell this just by watching the opening scene where casey becker  drew barrymore  is making popcorn  getting ready to watch a video  and some guy who sounds like a killer calls her up to play a game with her that involves horror movie triva that  if she gets it wrong  will get her and her boyfriend killed  she knows what to answer when he asks her horror film questions  she just cant answer his final question   what door am i at   and that gets her killed  that scene works because in a normal horror film  half the things that happen in that scene would never happen  the plot is typical horror stuff  sidney prescott  an impressive neve campbell   an attractive young high school student whos mother was killed a year ago tommorrow  is being stalked by a killer whos previously murdered one of her classmates  casey  naturally   and everybody in this small  california town is a suspect  including sidneys boyfriend  billy loomis  but as i said before  these people know how horror movies work  and thats what makes it so appealing  that and the references to horror movies  like when casey says   the first  nightmare on elm street  was scary  but the rest sucked   which is obviously director wes craven  who does a good job of poking fun of the genre that made him a legend  patting himself on the back as he directed the first nightmare movie and none of the others  and when tatum  sidneys friend  mentions the director  wes carpenter  which is obviously an homage by writer kevin williamson to not only craven  but also director john carpenter  the cast is well chosen  neve campbell pulls off a good heroine  and unlike most horror film heroines  she  can  act   drew barrymore does a good janet leigh impression for what little time she has in the film  and david arquette is impressive  also good  and funny  in his role is henry winkler   the fonz   as the school principal  i took half a point off for the unnecessary  albeit limited  appearance by friends courteney cox as reporter  gail edwards  sidneys rival because she covered her mothers disappearance  i hate that show  i hate those actors  theyre untalented  overexposed  and overpaid  imho  and i would think wes craven is smart enough to know those actors are overexposed enough  but i suppose he isnt  
pos	to paraphrase a song title from an earlier disney movie  mulan is a whole new world  the mouse factorys latest feature is a treasure  featuring magnificent animation  a strong story and finely drawn characters  mulan is the story of a fiesty  headstrong young woman who  unlike other disney heroines  isnt seeking her prince charming  mulans motivations are simple  to save her father  serve her country and find a place for herself in a world in which females have no say  the story of mulan takes place in ancient china at a time when the huns have invaded the nation  the emperor has called for a conscription  one man from each family to join the army and defend the nation  mulans crippled father is called  but mulan sneaks off  steals his armor and takes his place  mulan is a saga of courage and selfdiscovery  yet  despite the grim backdrop of war  it is a lively tale of selfreliance and brainoverbrawn that even the smallest child can appreciate and enjoy  the movie utilizes a strong corps of asianamerican talent as the voices for the main characters  including the wonderful mingna wen  the joy luck club  as mulan  b  d  wong as shang  mulans commanding officer and later love interest  pat morita as the emperor and the veteran soontek oh as mulans proud  but loving father  also adding to the proceedings is eddie murphy as mushu the dragon  sent by mulans ancestors to watch over and help the young woman  his fast  wisecracking  hiptalking mushu may seem out of place  but its a crowd pleasing performance  especially for the youngsters  the movie features only a couple of songs  fewer than most previous disney animated flicks  but mulans are winners  the music by matthew wilder and lyrics by david zippel fit nicely into the plot  the overall score by jerry goldsmith also is a plus  mulan is a treat  more powerful than hercules  with more heart than the hunchback of notre dame  at about 85 minutes  mulan moves rapidly  and will hold the attention of youngsters from beginning to the end  mulan will set a new standard by which future animated efforts by disney and other studios will have to work hard to attain  also  it is hoped that the success of mulan  and there is no doubt that it will prove to be a popular vehicle  will spur an interest for more movies with oriential or asianamerican themes so as to provide more substantial roles for the talented performers who gave their voices for this production  it would be nice to see them on screen as well as hear them  committed to lifelong learning through effective communication 
pos	as a revolutionary war hero in the patriot  mel gibson provides another macho man performance for hollywood audiences  you know the type  his shirt is always shredded  his face always scarred  he has a soft spot for his loved ones and a  to kill  list for his enemies  oscarhungry directorexecutive producer roland emmerich did not intend to  but he made the stereotypical action hero for the 18th century  as gibson delivers lines like   before this war is over  i am going to kill you   schwarzenegger in commando or stallone in cobra immediately come to mind  oddly enough  the patriot is as much an epic threehourtearfest like gladiator  as it is a ninetyminute guilty pleasure  at times absorbing  at others enjoyably insipid  this is good  bloody summer fun  i probably would have despised this film had it not been released over the july 4th weekend  some of the images are so zealously americanized  the flag is used as a lifesaving weapon for example   that independence day seems the only appropriate time of year to wholeheartedly accept it  like emmerichs id4  this is obvious propaganda where the americans are the hapless underdogs motivated by freedom for all  sure its predictable and melodramatic  but for a moment after leaving the theater  i was dumbfounded with patriotism  and isnt that the point of the patriot  gibson plays benjamin martin  the lionized french and indian war veteran  who  at the beginning of the film  is emotionally suffering after his loving wife passed away  he is left to father seven children at his south carolina estate along with black servants  not slaves    as the revolutionary war rumbles miles away  martin swears to keep his family close and away from the battlefields  but when the oldest son enlists anyway and another is murdered by a wicked redcoat colonel  jason isaacs   martin quickly decides to save the day  or save the fate of america as presented by emmerich   forming a band of aggressive farmers and using guerilla tactics considered unfair in the art of war  martin becomes the number one target of the british army  the best parts of the patriot are the scenes in which martin and his rugged militia men outsmart the british armies left and right  every time the farmers attacked the unsuspecting enemy  to see the disbelief on british general cornwallis  tom wilkinson  face was priceless entertainment  and as the tension gradually formulates with the running time  a final battle is inevitable  as for the numerous battle scenes  they are expertly done  clearer and more realistic than those of gladiator  the gruesome images are what give this film an r rating  you really get a sense of how warfare was performed during that time period  everything is performed in an orderly  but still quite gory  fashion  one side shoots  then the other side  then the remaining soldiers charge  its organized  strategic and  according to martin  ineffective  there is a very interesting contrast between the traditional battle style and martins takenoprisoners method  what drives martin to these supposedly unfair actions  are the originally brutal tactics of colonel tavington  played wonderfully by jason isaacs  tavington is the type who loves to glare down from his horse at civilians  who nervously avoid eye contact  this character is viciously evil  he kills women and children and then laughs about it on the way home  even his eyes are evil  his portrayal has sparked some controversy in britain  some claim that he falsely represents his countrymen as  cowardly  and  sadistic   i disagree with this accusation  tavington does not represent his country  his unnecessary executions shock his own colleagues and even anger his general  besides tavington  the redcoats remain stick figures that are neither glorified nor patronized  and stick figures make the easiest enemies in these kinds of movies  why give the audience a reason to love the bad guys  heck  why not spend the entire film glossing up the good guys  the patriot is three hours of fictional fireworks  with an action hero seeking revenge and a comic book villain ready to take him down  its a lethal weapon for the colonial times  god bless america  and god bless the patriot  
pos	 if theres a beast in men  it meets its match in women  too   starring sarah patterson  angela lansbury  tusse silberg  david warner directed by neil jordan written by jordan and angela carter  from a story by carter cinematography by bryan loftus in recent years  there has been a trend in the field of fantasy  writers have been revisiting the fertile world of myth and fairy tale and reclaiming that world  investing it with new life and energy  in modern times  fairy tales have become disneyfied and debased  they have become trite adventures involving leering witches  friendly dwarves  and cuddly talking animals  but in their original forms  fairy tales have a dark  wicked edge  crows tear out the eyes of cinderellas sisters  a gorier fate then they receive in the animated version  hansel and gretel relish cooking the witch in her own oven  writers have become fascinated by the bloodier  morally ambivalent aspects of fairy tales  and are now modernizing the old stories while simultaneously going back to their roots  before this trend was in vogue  angela carterwhose stories always have a dark  wicked  subversive edgehad been reinventing fairy tales for years  in the company of wolves  she and neil jordan retell the story of red riding hood  enlivening it with werewolves  rolls royces  and a visit from satan  the story is structured as a dream  occurring in the mind of rosaleen  sarah patterson   an adolescent girl about whose real life we learn very little  within the dream  there are a number of inset stories  most told by dreamrosaleens grandmother  angela lansbury   and these tales gloss the central story in intriguing  suggestive ways  the result is a surprisingly successful example of a sinister  contemporary fairy tale  i say  surprisingly  because there are so many ways this film could have gone wrong  and there are ways in which it does  the performances are mediocre  except for lansburysshe finds the right note for the prim  applecheeked granny  the wise and stern teller of cautionary tales  the soundtrack  synthheavy  reminded me of bad 80s horror movies  as did the special effects in the shapechanging scenes  probably stateoftheart at the time  they are now laughable  but jordan succeeds at what i consider the trickiest aspect of the film  he transcends the poor actingmusiceffects and conveys a sense of the fantastic  of otherness  one of the problems in adapting fullblown fantasies is that fantasy is often best left to the imagination of the reader  rather than being subjected to the realism of the screen  part of me would love to see an adaptation of the lord of the rings   but  on the other hand  i know that any filmmakers recreation of ents  hobbits  and balrogs is inevitably going to be really lame compared to what i picture in my mind  this makes jordans accomplishment here seem mighty impressive to me  he imbues the company of wolves with a genuine sense of magic and mystery  the somewhat ruritanian dreamworld becomes a kind of urreality  the sunshine is exceptionally warm and abundant  the nights are quiet and misty and eerie and ghostly  the peasant village is rustic and cozy  the woods old and hoary  this archetypal realm is the setting for a smart  subtle  literate script  a script which is as good as youd expect from jordan  himself an accomplished fiction writer  and carter  for carter  the cauldron of story is a witches brew  bubbling over with primal ingredients  mistshrouded forests  ancient graveyards  virginal girls and wise women  wolves with glowing eyes  she adeptly blends them all together  there is a symbolic richness to the film  everything is permeated with a sense of significance  the point of it all  i think  is to represent a girls ritesofpassage on an unconscious  primordial level  a nightjourney through the forest  from the village to the grandmothers home  is the crux of the company of wolves   dont stray from the path   rosaleen is told  again and again  and the path is both literal and figurative  the path through the forest and the path of life  staying on the path is the conventional approach suggested by rosaleens elders  carter and jordan  never conventional  explore what goes on when you leave the path  those who stray will supposedly meet with a dark fate  this fate is literalized in the dream as werewolves  but the werewolves connote many things  death  sex  knowledge  if straying from the path leads to death  then its not a good ideabut if thats what you have to risk to get sex and knowledge  and therefore power   then maybe its worth the risk  when you leave the path  the world becomes a dangerous  ambiguous place  but its full of potential  and its certainly more interesting than the disney version  
pos	contrary to the title   the boxer  is not another rocky story only this time spliced with some cold hard politics  its actually three movies in one  a political film  a boxing film  and a love story  all of these work in their own respects and have some pretty decent balancing betwixt the three elements of the story  but somehow it seems kind of cliched and unoriginal  weve seen it all before  and were just not blown away with it like we should be  oh well  its still an excellent irish story   the boxer  of the title is danny flynn  jim sheridan staple daniel daylewis   an exira member who gets out of a belfast prison after 14 years  and finds out that his troubles are far from over  first off  the ira is having a small civil war between its leader joe hamill  brian cox   and one of its subleaders  harry  gerard mcsorley   both having opposing views on getting many of their members out of jail  while this is going on  danny and his old drunkard buddie  ike  ken stott  who played the chief inspector in danny boyles  shallow grave    reopen an old gym which allows the two opposing religios sects  protestant and catholics  to work together  danny not only begins teaching kids how to box  but has stayed in great shape whilst in prison  and is ready to start boxing real people again  and danny runs into his exlove  maggie   breaking the waves  s emily watson   who hasnt seen him since he went in  they dont easily start up their romance again because shes the wife of a prisoner whom she married during dannys tenure in prison  and also has a son  liam  ciaran fitzgerald   from him  whom liam is hoping will get out soon  but the two are slowly redrawn to eachother again  and this begins to complicate things  the political story is nothing really special but works in itself  weve seen it many a time before  but its at least interesting  sometimes emotional  and even riveting at times  theres a big riot towards the middle of the film which is frightening in its brutality and honesty  the boxing story is very minor to the story  but does represent people coming together to fight eachother fairly  and even with good sportsmanship  there are only a few boxing scenes  but theyre never like  raging bull  letsstripdownthesporttoitsbones brilliant  theyre more realistic  and instead of bone crunching  we hear the sound of the gloves hitting eachother  which is slightly unerving at times  and i didnt know daniel daylewis was in such good shape  but the backbone of the story is the love one  because these characters are given such horrible circumstances  and since the two leads have such great chemistry together  we really feel for their plight  as the film goes on  and circumstances get worse and worse  the characters have to make real human decisions  and we can sympathize with them as humans not characters  this is how you write a love story  take note  hollywood  these elements are pretty much equally balanced  with each of the parts of the stories working handinhand with eachother  i loved how each of the different parts of the plot mattered  and sometimes spilled over into the next  it made sure that we didnt just care for one of them  im not saying theyre all equally great  because the love story really carries the film  but at least they all work out respectively  the acting is amazing  with daylewis and watson giving excellent performances and showing great chemistry  im not sure if theyre oscarnominee bound  but theyre very good  in the supporting roles  billy cox is greatly sympathetic as the ira leader losing control of his daughter and his workers  but the film is stolen acting wise by ken stott as ike  who is just a great scene stealer  the direction and cowriting by jim sheridan  with the other cowriting credit going to terry george  is excellent  rounding out the characters well  but not pacing everything greatly  i noticed that the first half was very leisurely  yet fascinating   but the second half whirls by at a quick pace  and ends much too quickly  more time could have been spent thinking up the ending  since it does seem quite sloppy  though  the boxer  is a good film  it never achieves the greatness that it should  sure  its a masterpiece compared to most of the hollywood drivel we usually get  but on its own  it just could have been better  but it still works out  gives us a great love story combined with a political and boxing drama  and features great acting  even if it could have been better  thisll do  
pos	you dont want to be like mike  mike has been doing badly  embarrassingly bad  he broke up a sixyear relationship six months ago to move from n  y  to l  a  and hes still not over her  as a result  his jokes fall flat when he tries to impress  and hes a comedian  well  an unemployed comedian  one of hollywoods little fish  and it has gotten so bad hes asked for an application at starbucks  actually  the starbucks thing gets even worse  and worse  you wont fail to like mike  however  played endearingly by jon favreau  swingers revolves around mikes halfhearted and awkward efforts to get back in the social swing of things  to this end he is enthusiastically assisted by his equally underachieving twentysomething actor friends  such as trent  vince vaughn with the films most animated performance   who has the gift of gab bordering on the disturbing side of motivational speaking  guntoting sue  patrick van horn   and rob  ron livingston   who once played hamlet but now longs to work as goofy in disneyland  but doesnt succeed because of his lack of  theme park experience   together they talk about women  how to make eye contact  which involves avoiding it  and when to call so as never to appear desperate  two days being  industry standard   after talking the talk  they walk the walk  strutting like the cool swingers they aspire to be  always to laughable effect  to get mike out of his funk  his friends persistently convince him to get outside  whether it be to a quickie night trip to a seedy vegas casino or a cutthroat hollywood party with the beautiful people or a 50s swing lounge  everywhere they encourage mike to look for a replacement  honey  and then keep vigil over his progress  or lack of it  like dotty doting parents  mike never leaves their company without being the recipient of their confidence cheerleading   youre money  mike  and the honeys know it    or equipped with their eccentric dating philosophies  such as an analogy of flirting with the bear and the bunny  with the unwavering support of friends like these  maybe mikes not doing too badly after all  favreau also doubled as the films screenwriter  and he proves he has the gift for creating engaging characters and witty banter that goes beyond todays bon mot  there is a reassuring honesty to the friendships  even when it hits its low points and the friends commiserate  when mike gets the gumption to look for love  you will join his cheerleading section as well  swingers is light  unassuming fare  sweet candy you will want to bust your gut with  laughing  again and again  
pos	america has finally gotten what its needed for years  a compassionate sincere president with impressive ethics and charisma  regretfully its only a movie  president james marshall  harrison ford  is fed up with terrorist activities  teaming up with the russian government  he orders a strike force capture of alexander radek  a reactionary general ready to reunite the soviet union under his fascist reign  during a celebration dinner  marshall announces to the world that he will send troops to fight oppression wherever it exists   its your turn to be afraid   he declares  returning home on air force one  he gets the chance to demonstrate his words personally  ultranationalist militants loyal to radek and lead by ivan korshunov  gary oldman  hijack the plane threatening to kill a hostage every half hour until the general is released  marshall has a chance to escape in a jettisoned capsule  which clinton says doesnt exist in real life  but refuses  preferring to stay and fight  director wolfgang peterson   das boot    in the line of fire    outbreak  takes the overused  die hard  theme and gives us something new in a film that combines brilliant acting with holdyourbreath intensity  if you can take your eyes off the screen  steal a look at the audience  everyone is totally engrossed  the two actors do what they do best and they are probably the best there are at it  oldman has become typecast as a psychotic sadist and no wonder  he does it so well  when he engages the teenage first daughter in sensitive conversation about his family and the next minute threatens to blow a hole in her forehead  you know that hes over the edge in the manner that people with a cause can become  you are convinced that young alice could end up terminated at any time  when korshonov executes passengers  there is a frightening reality to it  the guns in this film are deadly weapons  not cartoons  harrison ford has done one role for several years  his mastery of the man in the suit propelled into desperate action is in top form here  marshall is a medal of honor recipient who now has a desk job  realistically  hes a man afraid  but not afraid to act  ford is one of the few actors that could make us believe that the president of the united states could be an action hero  indiana jones in the oval office  he and oldmans archetypes match up perfectly  the other roles also go to accomplished actors  glenn close as the determined but unsure vicepresident is the picture of an executive forced into a position that shes not quite ready for  dean stockwell as defense secretary eager for the authority   im in charge here    is her political nemesis and turns in a good alexander haig performance  of course the politics are all wrong  a cowboy president  even down to his name  with big guns shoots his way through problems  much like the american collective memory of jfks camelot  the image is wondrous if you dont look too deep  the pulls on the patriotic heartstrings would be too much in any other film  but they work here  no matter what political spin you put on the story  the movie is an outstanding one  i left the theater feeling that there is hope for the countrys future  not a common belief nowadays  now if we only can get ford to run for president  just because one actor didnt work out as chief executive doesnt mean that a different one couldnt   michael redman has lost count of how many years hes been writing this column  21 years    22 years  while watching the sunflowers outside his window swaying in the cool breezes   
pos	susan grangers review of  songcatcher  in the midst of this summers fare of dinos revisited and romantic fiascoes  there are a few thoughtful movies  and this appalachian period drama is one  oscar nominee janet mcteer   tumbleweeds   stars as dr  lily penleric  an accomplished musicologist who  back in that prefeminist era  was refused a full professorship at her university  determined to prove her worth  she ventures deep into the rugged mountains of north carolina  where her younger sister elna  jane adams  runs a school  there in bear creek  she discovers a treasuretrove of traditional scotsirish and english folk ballads  given a unique interpretation by the insular locals  excited  she sends for recording equipment and persuades vinie butler  pat carroll  and other selfsustaining mountain folk to share their musical heritage on her edison phonograph cylinders  their music  as she puts it  is  as much a part of life here as the air you breathe   thats the main thrust of writerdirector maggie greenwalds occasionally uneven cultureclash story  which is loosely based on olive dame campbells foray through the blue ridge mountains in 1908  but theres also some melodramatic romantic spice  ornery  bearded  banjopicking aidan quinn falls for the statuesque  passionate  songcatcher   while elna secretly engages in a lesbian relationship with a colleague  e  katherine kerr   im ready to buy the soulful soundtrack with vocalists like emmylou harris  iris dement  taj mahal and young opera star emmy rossum who plays a pivotal role as mcteers wideeyed prot  g   rated pg13  theres an intense scene of primitive childbirth  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   songcatcher  is an intelligent  extraordinary 8  transported by the transcendent power of song  
pos	elizabeth is a potent historical drama set in england in the mid1500s  it is a time when stately royal ceremonies are as commonplace as public burnings  internally  the catholics wage war against the protestants  meanwhile  spain  scotland and france strategize their next moves in the struggle for power  little does england know that a young woman named elizabeth  cate blanchett  will be their greatest hope for survival  the film charts elizabeths tumultuous struggle to gain true power over her kingdom  as a protestant  she is the last person any of the catholic royalty would want to be queen  but her halfsister queen mary  kathy burke   deathly ill and unable to conceive a child  pleas with elizabeth to take over the throne  mary gives her her blessing on only one condition  that elizabeth renounce her faith and uphold the teachings of catholicism across the land  once declared queen  elizabeth immediately finds herself under assault  both by her own subjects  including the duke of norfolk  played with steelyeyed grace by christopher eccleston  and by forces abroad  slowly but surely  the neophyte ruler takes england by its reigns and forges a new path for her kingdom  elizabeth is surrounded by a keenly drawn cadre of subjects and advisers  her closest ally is the mysterious sir francis walsingham  geoffrey rush  in a perfectly subtle performance   also on her side is sir william cecil  sir richard attenborough   her wellmeaning but misguided chief adviser  with few people she can trust  elizabeth must prove her selfworth any way she can  even if it means being the ironfisted ruler she secretly despises  blanchett deserves an oscar for her performance as elizabeth  she portrays the young queen with just the right balance of gawky selfconsciousness and shrewd charisma  though not a classical beauty  blanchett is able to entrance the viewer with just a coy smile or an impish smirk  she is at home with her characters playful tendencies  particularly in one scene where elizabeth dances unabashedly with childhood friend and lover lord robert dudley  joseph fiennes   whether fending off unctuous suitors or  playing  the houses in court  blanchetts elizabeth radiates a confidence which impossible to dislike  almost as interesting as the character of elizabeth are shekhar kapurs visual delights  he and cinematographer remi adefarasin have crafted a film with a rich color palette that is a feast for the eyes  rolling green hills  extravagant ceremonial galas  dark and foreboding corridors  all are depicted with a real sense of artistic appreciation  the castles and cathedrals of europe have rarely been doted on so lovingly as they are here  though writer michael hirsts script gets a little murky at times  and his injections of humor get a little overplayed  elizabeth pulses with the right amount of dramatic and cinematic verve to make it just deserving of a theatrical viewing  as a whole  the story survives because elizabeths struggle is one which deserves attention  by the time she makes her shocking  but very sensible  final declaration  were ready to bow to elizabeth as our own queen  
pos	making his directorial debut  actor jon favreau brings along his swingers costar  vince vaughn  for this tale of two mugs on a career trajectory to nowheresville  favreau  who also wrote the script  is bobby  vaughn is ricky  by day they are construction workers  they also are wannabe contenders  but neither has had much success  their last bout pitted them against each other and was a draw  leaving bobbys record at 551  these two l  a  notsowise guys also work for max  peter falk   a midlevel mobster  who is patient and understanding with bobby  but who hates rickys guts  max has an easy job for bobby  fly to new york and make a simple delivery to a gangster named ruiz  a smooth and silky sean combs   bobby  because of his lifelong friendship with ricky  pleads with max to give his pal another chance and let him tag along to the big apple  against his better judgment  max agrees  of course ricky  a motormouth who inserts both feet everytime he speaks  nearly screws up everything  while bobby tries to stay calm and professional  ricky begins swaggering and throwing money around as if he was john gotti or tony soprano  the constrast in styles and the chemistry between favreau and vaughn is what makes made so enjoyable to watch  favreau with his hounddog face and slowburn personality could be a modernday oliver hardy  only much wiser  vaughn is like someone vaccinated with a phonograph needle  he just keeps yakking and yakking  unaware of the havoc he creates  yet despite bobbys constant aggravation and agitation with his partner  a bond of affection and loyalty binds them  the contrast between the two friends is interesting to watch  bobby is buttondowned  tightlywound  always waiting for the next shoe courtesy of ricky  to drop  ricky is mostly oblivious to the problems he creates and is genuinely surprised when he comes under attack for his faux paus  in new york  the two lackeys are like fish out of water  stumbling from one situation to another  trying to keep alive  combs is elegant  cool and lowkey menacing as the gangsta they are sent to meet  falk is amusing in his small role  while famke janssen nearly breaks your heart as bobbys lowlife girlfriend  more than anything  made is a movie with heart  it is loud  obnoxious and very talkative  but the cameraderie between bobby and ricky holds the key to its interest  favreau does a commendable job in his directorial debut  he is a player to be watched as he can only improve with experience  
pos	set in the wild west  this carry on centres around the arrival of the rumpo kid  sidney james  and his cronies in stodge city  his dodgy dealings and summary shootings aggravate judge burke  kenneth williams  so much that he asks sheriff albert earp  jon pertwee  to drive rumpo out of town  instead  the rumpo kid shoots the sheriff dead  therefore  judge burke sends for a law marshall to come in and clean up the city  due to a misunderstanding  an english sanitary engineer called marshall p  knutt  jim dale  is assigned  without knowing it  as the law marshall for stodge city  he arrives at the same time as annie oakley  angela douglas  who is seeking revenge for her father  the sheriffs murder  when marshall arrives at stodge city  he soon becomes aware of the misunderstanding and due to his rather limited intellect  he is manipulated by the rumpo kid and always ends up getting things wrong  in the end  there is a headtohead between rumpo and marshall  with the rumpos past experience  it would seem that marshall is out of his depth  but using his sanitary skills and learning the ways of the west from annie oakley  he at least stands some chance  sid james  with an american accent  is perfect as the rumpo kid  a part which suits him down to the ground  jim dale provides one of his best carry on performances as the stupid sanitary engineer  and angela douglas is very effective in her role as the revengeful daughter  other regulars that appear in this movie include charles hawtrey and bernard bresslaw  in his debut  as big heap and little heap respectively  big heap is the local indian leader and the crazy casting of hawtrey for this part is very amusing  as is his performance   he steals every scene he is in even though he does not enter the film until thirty minutes past  joan sims provides useful and amusing support as belle  the local bar owner who takes a fancy to the rumpo kid  however  the part of doc played by peter butterworth and sheriff albert earp played by jon pertwee are not really necessary  and pertwees performance is rather poor  kenneth williams uses a new voice but struggles with the weak part of the judge  even so  this carry on was sid james and kenneth williams favourite  a very different carry on film  in that it is played more seriously by the actors and possesses more realism than any other carry on  the death count is the highest of any carry on film  sets  costumes and action sequences are all very commendable  the songs that are included in the movie  the title song and annies song  are very impressive  a strange but therefore very interesting carry on film  not the best of its kind but it is certainly the most distinctive film of the series  
pos	for example  in happy gilmore  sandler plays a rookie golfer trying to beat a selfconfident jerk of a pro  if the star were any other comic  that would be enough motivation to drive the movie  but with sandler  the rookie also wants to win the prize money to help his grandma keep her house  that extra motive doesnt make happy gilmore a funnier movie  it doesnt really add any genuine emotional depth  either  in fact  the motive is almost totally irrelevant to the movie  but sandlers philosophy seems to be  if its a token gesture  why not make it a nice gesture  that is endlessly refreshing  in the wedding singer  sandler is right on track  the fact that hes a wedding singer is only superficially relevant to the story  what kind of a wedding singer he is is even less important  david spade could have filled the role with cynicism and sarcasm  he could make fun of the fat  ugly  or embarrassing people he meets at weddings  and the story would be intact  but sandler instead brings a mature goodness to the character  he seems to really enjoy the people at weddings and treats them as though they were his own family  robbie hart  sandler  doesnt just sing at weddings  he also gets the loners to join in and have fun  and he smooths it over when someone does something embarrassing  he is exactly the man you would want at your wedding  the day comes when robbie has his own wedding  and he is stood up by his heavymetal bride  the movie is set in 1985   robbie takes it hard  he doesnt sleep  he doesnt eat  and he gets punched out at work when he sings  love stinks  at a wedding  julia  drew barrymore   who waitresses all the weddings in town  gives him a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk to  eventually  robbie starts rebounding toward julia  he really likes her  but shes engaged  her fianc  is a selfconfident jerk  do i see a trend  nope  just a formula  who doesnt deserve her  but robbie is too depressed to fight for her hand  julia seems to like robbie too  but she cant leave her seemingly safe and stable fianc  for the offchance that robbie might be serious about her  you know the story  youve seen it a million times before  theres always a new way to tell it  with new lovers  new chemistry  and new details  but its the same story  and sometimes  it works  the wedding singer works  first of all  the chemistry between sandler and barrymore is effective  actually  its not so much the chemistry between the two as it is each ones own romantic tension  sandler captures the forlorn sleepwalking look of a jilted man  struck with an unattainable love  barrymore is charming as the girl next door looking for someone serious to settle down with  sparks dont fly when they kiss  but they both seem right for each other  second  their love is mature  they are not driven by passionate sexual attraction  theyre a cute couple  but neither sandler nor barrymore is centerfold material  instead  they are both looking for someone meaningful  someone to settle down with  someone to grow old with  at a wedding  robbie comforts a kid throwing up in a dumpster while julia sits by  the repulsing situation is taken in stride  as if the two were already parents  caring for their sick child  the  80s soundtrack and references play a big part in this movie  other critics liked this movie in part because of the 80s soundtrack  i liked it in spite of the soundtrack  often  the music and references felt forced  for example  robbie tells his exfianc  to  get out of my van halen tshirt before you jinx the band and they break up    ha ha ha  get it  david lee roth did leave van halen   or how about when sammy  allen covert   robbies chauffeur friend  shows up at a party wearing a michael jackson jacket and  get this  a single silver glove   thats exactly what mj used to wear all the time    unfortunately  making fun of generalizations about a past era is too easy to be rewarding  thats not to say the movie isnt funny  screenwriter tim herlihy has written for sandler before  billy madison and happy gilmore   and the two make a good combination  herlihy knows what sort of jokes sandler is good at and has tailored the script to his straightfaced  smartaleck style  lets hope herlihy and sandler stick together for a few more projects because this movie really won me over  with barrymores charm and sandlers heart  it was hard to go wrong  
pos	 when its cold  molecules arent moving  everything is clean   these are the essential words of mikey carver  elijah wood   a young teenage boy living in 1973 new canaan  connecticut in the ice storm  when mikey delivers these words to a bored science class  it is unlikely that anyone realizes how much they parallel mikeys life and the lives that surround him  his father jim  jamey sheridan  is rarely seen and his mother janey  sigourney weaver  is having an affair with married neighbor ben hood  kevin kline   bens wife elena  joan allen  suspects the affair  but doesnt say anything  meanwhile  bens 14yearold daughter wendy  christina ricci  continuously lures mikey and his younger brother sandy  adam hannbyrd  into sexual explorations  tobey maguire plays paul hood  the 16yearold narrator of the story who also happens to be the least prevalent character  we start the film with an interesting outlook on family from paul  he compares family to the fantastic four comic book  and even goes so far as to say that family is everybodys own antimatter  something everybody will return to eventually  and the farther you go  the deeper youll return  the ice storm is a character piece that explores a dismal time both in america  and in the individual lives portrayed in the movie  everything parallels everything else  the young teenagers trying to discover who they are thru drugs  sex  and alcohol is really almost identical to the parents trying to figure out the purpose in their own lives using the same methods   when its cold outside  the molecules arent moving  everything is clean   everything is clean because nobody will admit whats going on  even the president is on tv denying his wrongdoings  how can you expect anything more out of a couple of suburban families riding the coattails of sexual revolution  all the sex and drugs is so obviously empty  and i think thats the point of the film  at first viewing  the entire movie might seem empty  but then why shouldnt it parallel itself  you dont get to know the characters very deeply  but i think thats because nobody in the movie knows each other either  we sadly watch two families go about their lives nearly oblivious to one another  at first glance  you might think emotion is lost in the ending scenes because you havent gotten to know the characters well enough to sympathize  then you realize that just might be the point  and then you do feel the pain  the acting by all is quite good  but i particularly liked elijah wood  he doesnt seem to be receiving as much recognition as the others  but i still found him to possess quite a real sense of being  christina ricci is being acclaimed for her part as the misguided teenage temptress who looks for something more to her life in the pants of every available boy  still  i say hats off remain to wood  joan allens subtle but believable performance as a lonely  unappreciated wife  and the always excellent kevin kline  tobey maguire did a fine job  but his character which  perhaps  was the most intact  sensible person in the story  seemed a little lost  he was needed  but perhaps he shouldve been used more  the ice storm is being hailed by many as one of the best films of the year  i hate to say that i dont agree  but i dont  in fact  i can think of many other films that i would rank higher than this one  even so  it is a very good film  it takes a lot of retrospect to fully appreciate its art  but when you finally start seeing things in it that you didnt before  you start to grow even fonder of the characters and the story  perhaps this is one to see  ponder  and then watch again with different eyes  
pos	 the end of the affair  is a dark and moody romantic period piece  that neil jordan exquisitely writes and directs  although its slow and sometimes confusing to follow  it still manages to give audiences a moving experience  based on graham greenes novel of the same name  the film mainly follows 3 characters  theres maurice bendrix  ralph fiennes  who has an affair with henry miles  stephen rea  wife sarah  julianne moore   sarah finds henry to be a bore  because well  hes just a normal guy  its all work and no play with him  while maurice on the other hand falls madly in love with sarah  and would do anything for her  unfortunately the two break up  this is all witnessed in a serious of flashbacks  so that leads us to the present  its a few years later  and they both still think of each other  so maurice hires a private detective  ian hart  to see what sarah is up too  while this may sound straight forward its not  its a deep dark tale of the jealousy that lies in the two men  unhappiness  and the ever lasting love  all this may sound like a drag  but it really captures your interest  with great performances by ralph fiennes  doing another english patient type of film  only this movie is better  and julianna moore who definitely deserves an oscar because out of all 5 films she did in 1999  i believe this was the role  she had the most passion for  and you can see why  the story was also well written thanks to neil jordan  even though i didnt read the book  theres no doubt in mind that it was just as moving and descriptive  whats so moving about it you ask  the tragedy of it all  its not the typical romance  in which a guy finds a girl  they fall in love and all is well  this is more complicated and depressing  it really shows the complexity of a relationship  because nothing is ever perfect  everyone feels a different way and that is what tears us to pieces  back to neil jordans script  it wasnt only red roses  there were times when i felt it too be a little slow  but most romances are  it also tended to be a bit confusing  especially at the start  it keep jumping around from past to present  so it obviously took awhile to get a grasp of things  also a notable was the superb direction by neil jordan  id have to say this is his finest achievement to date  because quite frankly ive never really found his work to be up to par  it just never did anything for me  until now  when it ends  it leaves viewers a little saddened  but provoked nonetheless  this is definitely one of the best films of 99  and had some of the best acting  most notably by moore  not for all movie goers  but for those who are film buffs and want something of value  
pos	titanic is  without a doubt  the best movie ive seen all year  and believe me  im not an easy critic to impress  the english patient was too long  men in black was overhyped  and several of the  big summer releases  were dead in the water  thank god this film got delayed until december  its my christmas present  titanic is in the tradition of the old hollywood epics of yearsgoneby  and it is truly a stunning film  while watching this picture you are completely mesmerized  never taking your eyes off the screen  nor checking your watch to see how much longer its gonna last  despite its 3 hour plus running time  as a friend of mine  whos a true titanicbuff  said  if someone doesnt like this film  its because they didnt want to   truer words are hard to come by  of course  it doesnt hurt that this film comes from one of my favorite directors  james cameron  who is unarguably the greatest action director of all time  if you wish to argue that point with me  look at his list of credits  the terminator  aliens  the abyss  terminator 2  true lies  etc  still care to disagree  not only has cameron helmed the directorial duties of this film  he also wrote  produced  and edited it  and to show his true faith for the project  he renenged all directing fees and percentage points to ease the budget costs  its obvious he truly loves titanic  the film opens with footage  both real and fake  of an underwater excursion by special submarines to the bottom of the atlantic  where a team of explorers lead by bill paxton are searcing for a diamond called the  heart of the ocean   which  according to bill paxtons character  would be worth more than the hope diamond today  their search turns up  dissapointly  no diamond  but instead a drawing of a young woman wearing the diamond  this picture is broadcast on cnn and is seen by a 101 year old woman named rose  who claims to be the girl in the picture  she is flown out to sea to meet bill paxton and to tell them about the diamond  almost all of the rest of the movie is her narration of the past  roses narration shows us how she was an unhappy young girl  engaged to a rich man named cal hockley  billy zane  that she didnt want to marry  her mother is pushy and obnoxious  and cal hockley is arrogant  they are boarding the titanic  which is sailing to america  and this is where she is to marry cal  meanwhile  a young man named jack dawson  leonardo dicaprio  and his italian friend  danny nucci  win two 3rd class tickets aboard the titanic in a poker game  they are overjoyed  and rush aboard just as the boat is leaving  for them  this is their ticket to america  to a better life  for rose  she is sailing to her doom  the first hour and a half or so of titanic tells the story of how rose dewitt  kate winslet  and jack dawson fall in love  its the classic wrongsideofthetracks story  and does sometimes resort to a few cliches  but as i said above  the love portion isnt sappy and doesnt  weigh the film down   as some critics have said  its sweet  and it didnt make me restless at all  despite the fact that i usually hate love stories  of course  it might help that cameron introduces some pretty interesting characters to help keep our eyes glued to the screen  most of these people actually were passengers on the titanic back in 1912  including the enigmatic molly brown  played by the talented kathy bates   the captain of titanic  bernard hill   and so on  all of these characters add an extra depth to the film  and make it that easier to watch  of course  things really start to get going after the hour and a half mark  where the titanic strikes the iceberg and begins a slow sink to the bottom  the sinking is depicted realisticly  and the effects are truly amazing  it is not told in a heroic fashion sense either  as people are portrayed as panicking  pushing others aside to get on the limited lifeboats  and drowning and dying horrible deaths  the best part of the movie  in my opinion  comes at the very end  when we flash back to the future  the crew  who at first had been skeptical of roses story  now are totally aborbed by her  rose goes out onto the ships ledge  and we then learn a secret about her that catches us off guard  we then see a dream of roses  in which she returns to the titanic and is dancing with jack dawson  most people i talked with after the movie saw this as only a dream  however  i think it symbolized more  i think it meant that rose had died  and is going to a sort of heaven  which would be the happiest part of her life  her and her one true love  jack  if anyone has seen the movie and would like to voice an opinion about this  email me at venom8hotmail  com  
pos	sometimes you just have to tip your hat to a film  sometimes you just have to jump on the bandwagon and enjoy the ride  i saw the truman show with an audience full of teenagers  most of whom were no doubt drawn by ace ventura himself and hoping to see his latest take on fart jokes  surprised  they may have been  when they realized that this picture actually had something to say  but by the attentiveness of the crowd id say they were won over  as was i  i cant tell yet if truman really is that good  or if it only seems that good in comparison to the awful mountain of crap spewed forth from the bowls of hollywood so far this year  time alone will make that call  but by the end of the film we were all on truman burbanks side  we were concerned for his wellbeing  and wanted him to win  that we felt as we did is a tribute both to the film and to jim carrey  who has achieved legitimacy at last  the truman show is a film best viewed cold  with as little foreknowledge as possible about the plot  unless youre under a media blackout  however  you probably know the basics  carrey stars as truman burbank  a capraesque everyman insurance agent living with his beautiful wife meryl  laura linney  in the south florida island town of seahaven  which looks like michael eisners idea of the perfect american small town  truman would seem to live the perfect middle class lifestyle  complete with a working wife  a best bud  friendly neighbors and interesting coworkers  there is tragedy in his past  his father drowned in a horrible boating accident  leaving truman with a dreadful fear of water  and of travel in general  but overall  life is good  but then one day as truman leaves his house for work  a klieg light falls magically from the sky  this curious event may lead truman to discover what the rest of the world already knows  that he is a prisoner on the worlds biggest soundstage  that his wife  friends and relatives are all actors paid to interact with him  and that his life has  for over 10  000 days  been broadcast as the worlds most popular television program  what makes the first hour of truman so enjoyable to watch is the magical verisimilitude painstakingly constructed by niccol and weir  the soundstage  were told  is  only the second manmade structure visible from space   trumans movements are tracked ceaselessly by 5  000 cameras scattered throughout the town  button cams  dashboard cams  mirror cams  wife cams  big cams and small cams  weir cuts the film so were never quite sure if were watching truman through the camera of director weir or through the camera of the shows omnipotent creator christof  ed harris  who oversees the show from a control room built into the manmade moon in seahavens sky  the second act offers a plethora of clues for truman as to the truth of his existence  his best friend marlon  noah emmerich  always has a six pack of beer with him  his wife seems to exist in an eternal commercial in which she is always endorsing the latest hot household product  he sees the same people walking in the same set patterns all over town  one wonders why he didnt pick up on any of this earlier  but christof has an answer for this   people tend to accept the reality with which theyre presented   nevertheless  truman begins to grow restless  and dreams of escape to fiji  where an old college sweetheart  natasha mcelhone  supposedly lives  this convincing reality of television as progenitor of reality is a magical and provocative concept  the best thing jim carrey does is stay out of its way  by underplaying truman  he allows the subtle manipulations of the film to take over  there is a particularly poignant scene in which truman confides his fears to marlon  and marlon answers with bestfriend sincerity   id gladly step in front of a bus for you   but that line was fed to marlon through an earpiece by christof  the abject cruelty to which truman is subjected to hits home  and from that moment  were on his side  the truman show derives much of its success from playing to our own secret paranoid fantasies  havent we all  at least once  doubted our place in the world  doubted the sincerity of those closest to us  ultimately  however  the picture rises above its own artifice to raise some real questions about the relationship of humankind and our creator  what does god really think of us  does he resent our abandonment of paradise  who exactly is watching us  up there in the sky  if you enjoy the picture as much as i did  credit weir for allowing the magic of the screenplay to work  as for carrey  well  truman burbank is the kind of role that jimmy stewart was born to play  carrey is no jimmy stewart  to his credit  he doesnt try to be  he just tries to feel the way you or i would  if we suddenly found out that the whole world was watching us  
pos	i didnt realize how apt the name of this movie was until i called the mpaa  the motion picture association of america  the folks who decide whats g  nc 17  pg  r or x  to ask why the preview was rated r  so that we can make some sense of their response  let me tell you about the movie itself   the celluloid closet  is a documentary about how homosexuality has been portrayed in the movies over the past several decades  its brilliant  funny  naughty and extremely poignant  it tore at my heart to watch a gifted lesbian screenwriter explain that  as a rule  gay audiences hunger for any hint of homosexuality on screen  regardless of how veiled  or how sordid  the presence of a gay or lesbian person allows others to lessen their sense of isolation and makes them feel as if theyre not quite so invisible as america seems to want them to be  the movie itself is rated r  and for good reason  it contains scenes of bloody  violent gay bashing and graphic  uninhibited  sex  as with any movie  i appreciate knowing about these things ahead of time  so i can decide for myself whether to see the movie with a friend  a date  my 11 year old niece  alone or not at all  but  thats the movie  now back to the preview  prior to this film being theatrically released  it was originally filmed as a documentary for hbo  i had seen the coming attractions trailer for it at least six times  there was no nudity  no violence  no bad language  nothing that i could see that would be offensive or inappropriate for a general audience  okay  whoopi goldberg did refer to someone  boning  someone  but the last i knew that wasnt one of the seven words you cant say on tv   except for a scene of two fully clothed men kissing  hmmmmm  when i inquired about the rating on the trailer  a very nice woman at the mpaa quoted from  the handbook  that a trailer approved for all audiences could contain  no homosexuality or lesbianism and no going down on someone   hello  i was in the office and it was the middle of the day  bravely  i pursued   ive seen that trailer  oh    probably half a dozen times   i gulped     and i dont remember that scene    well   she chirped   its there  our little eyes are trained to see that   no really  in the words of dave barry   i am not making this up   they are  trained  to  see that   when someone who was shocked at the rating the first time and made a note to watch it carefully the following five times or so managed to let it slip past her  gosh  i certainly dont mean to question the mpaa  or  the handbook   i would  however  like to suggest that its they who are in the closet on this one  and the light aint good in there  but  having seen  the celluloid closet   and being one of a handful of straight people involved in a primarily gay and lesbian weekly bible study  email me and ill give you the details   none of this was any big surprise  the point of the movie was that homosexuality  even in the politically correct 90s  is ridiculously perceived as a threat to a mostly heterosexual society  a point well made in this candid and honest film  now  i could go off on the mpaas ruling that a trailer must contain  no homosexuality or lesbianism  and ask how that is defined  particularly in light of some of the things  both sexual and nonsexual  that ive watched straight people do in trailers  i just dont feel the need to go there  because it seems so obvious  ill instead suggest that the mpaa reevaluated their evaluation criteria  let the ratings reflect not subject content  like  sex  and  violence   let them reflect attitude content  in the future  id be interested in knowing whether the movie is rated d for disrespectful or s for stereotyped  then id truly be able to make an informed decision about how i spent my time  
pos	118 minutes  not rated  though i suspect it would be rated pg for adult themes and language  mamoru oshii is a name that probably isnt very wellknown to most american audiences  but perhaps it should be  oshii was the director of last years bestknown japanese animated film import  ghost in the shell  and is known among fans of japanese animation  or anime  for making films with a deep philosophical bent  one of these films was the first theatrical venture for the patlabor animated series  in its many incarnationsgraphic novels   manga    two different runs of madeforvideo episodes  original animation videos  or oavs for short   and a television series running to nearly fifty episodespatlabor has proven to be one of the most popular series ever in japan  set in the very near future  though it was a somewhat farther away near future when the series was first conceived   this atypical giant robot anime features the characters  rather than the machinery  as the primary focus  as a whole  patlabor is the story of an exciting time for japan  as the prologue to each episode of the television series explains  giant industrial robots  known as  labors   an interesting play on words  considering that  robot  is derived from the czech word for labor   have come into widespread use in japan toward the close of the twentieth century  with the rise of labors  however  has come a new menacelabor crime  this led to the creation of the two special vehicle divisions  using patrol labors to fight labor crime  the patlabor story centers around the second special vehicle division  sv2  who  through no fault of their own  have acquired a bad reputation for destructiveness  sometimes utterly hilarious  sometimes almost deadly serious  the patlabor series explores the interpersonal relationships of the special vehicle crewmembers  and also looks at the effects of technology on modern life  those who are unfamiliar with the patlabor story and characters may find themselves slightly confused coming into the movie  although there is ample background exposition provided for new viewers  the story  as has much of patlabor before  centers around the controversial babylon project  a gigantic seawall that will  on its completion  allow the reclamation of thousands of square miles of land from tokyo bay  this project has been an almost constant target of environmentalist terrorists  most notably the house of sea organization  however  the threat in this case comes not from any terrorist  but from someone who is already dead    shinohara heavy industries  the premier labor manufacturer in japan  if not the whole world   has just come out with a new operating system that increases labors movement speed and efficiency by 30  this hyper operating system  hos for short  has very quickly been installed into well over 90 of the nations labors    including the patrol labors of sv2  since that installation  dozens of labors  including a heavilyarmed military model  have begun to go on berzerk rampages for no apparent reason    and the only factor they all had in common was that they were all running under the new hos   some wags have compared this to windows 95   its up to asuma shinohara  labor command officer with sv2 and the son of the president of shinohara heavy industries  to find the source of these problems before more laborsincluding sv2s ownfall victim to them  and before hos drags his fathers company down with it  as was the case with ghost in the shell  if you just want a nobrainer actionfest  this might not be the movie for you  patlabor  the movie is more of a psychological thriller  a technological suspense drama  it is closer  perhaps  to a chrichton novel than to an action movie  crichton novels that have been made into action movies notwithstanding   there are long  thoughtful montages of dialogueless footage as two investigators make their way through slums and derelict housing in old quarters of tokyo  similar to sequences from ghost in the shell  this movie is fraught with symbolismin fact a large part of it is based on christian symbolism  patlabors nearfuture setting is  aside from the giant robots tromping around  very similar to our own present day  the film uses this setting to make its central point  is progress moving too fast for humans to keep up  are history and culture falling by the wayside like the old buildings that are being torn down and replaced with new  this is a question just as applicable to today as it is to patlabors alternate1999 setting  as far as the technical aspects of the film go  referring to the subtitled version  as thats the only one ive seen   the film transfer is clear  almost phenomenally so  the animation quality is incredible  though the character design is different from what most patlabor fans will be used to  the oavs and tv series were more cheerful  bettersuited to humor  the movie  however  makes everyone look a great deal less cute  and emphasizes that this is going to be  for the most part  a deadly serious storyline  as far as cinematography goes  there are many interesting moments in patlabor  the movie  i dont think i can recall ever seeing a fisheye perspective used in any other animated film  save for ghost in the shell  another oshii film   or indeed  in many other movies at all  the cinematography is wellsuited to the storyline  emphasizing what it needs to  though a couple of scenes  where characters features are exaggerated in anger  may seem slightly strange to western audiences  the audio track of patlabor  the movie is in glorious hifi stereo  and should be used to demonstrate home theater systemsit is that good  even without headphones  sounds from either side of the screen can be clearly heard to come from that side  giant robot footsteps are deep and booming  the sometimesunderstated  sometimesblaring score is crisp and clear  and always right on the mark  enhancing the moods created by the animated scenery  as far as the subtitles go  i have to say that theyre among the most easilyreadable subtitles ive ever seen for anything  large enough that they dont strain the eyes  but small enough not to conceal too much of the screen  although it does have several action sequences in it  most notably the climactic conclusion  patlabor is foremost not an action movie  although it is a superblyrealized film  it relies in large part upon prior familiarity with some of the characters to carry the story  and that could detract from some peoples enjoyment  my  
pos	okay  let me first say  this is a beavis and butthead movie  if you do not like beavis and butthead  do not go to see this movie      however  if you do like them  i recommened you get out right now and go see it  the movie starts off with the boys wondering what happened to their tv  they notice that it has been stolen and they vow to find it  this wind their way through america searching for dallas  she is a woman   they look for her because as they are searching for the tv  they find a drunk who wants them  to do  his wife  well  of course they think he wants them to score with her when actually he wants them to kill her  and the fun starts their  this movie is a mix of funny gags that anly beavis and butthead could pull off  it is quality entertainment that only fan of beavis and butthead would enjoy  i enjoyed this movie alot because mike judge knew how to keep pace  even when they were crawling through the desert and i thought the movie started to lag  he manages to keep the laughs coming  if you expecting changes from the show keep looking  the same character  the same voices  the same everything from the show and thats what makes it good  you might think with a movie from a tv show  you can change a few things  often times this spells disaster for films because the film makers veer away from what made the show popular in the first place  
pos	taking a few tips from the pulp fiction school of filmmaking  go is the new feature from the director of the cult hit swingers  the story centres around a group of people  who include brit simon  askew   and checkout girls claire  holmes  and ronna  polley  and the misadventures that they get into  split into three chapters  everything from sex to drugs to violence is covered in a film with a much blacker edge in comedy than swingers  although qts touch is evident in nearly every frame  go is entertaining enough to forget about the similarities and just enjoy the rollercoaster ride  liman  who also photographed the film  has a deft touch with the camera  and the film looks good  the film also seems to have benefited from a budget  with the nightclub scenes in particular looking pretty good  theres a twisted sense of humour running throughout which ensures that even the darkest scenes get a smirk  the young cast are talented and help bring the story to life  holmes  one of the dawsons creek cast  a show im not particularly fond of  displays much talent here  and despite her largely limited screen time manages to make a three dimensional character and never becomes a caricature  askew is slightly successful  being rather obnoxious  no doubt the filmmakers intended this to make the audience cheer when what happens to him  but instead of funny annoying hes just annoying  he drags down slightly one of the funniest chapters  but the talent around him in that particular tale more than makes up for it  the real standout is sarah polley as the drug dealing checkout girl  her refreshing and deeply enjoyable performance makes the heavy going stories she is involved in much more entertaining  also entertaining timothy olyphant as the rather sinister drug dealer  who gives an nice evil performance  the script  written john august  is sharp and witty  with good dialogue and some funny jokes  it starts off rather slow however  but in about twenty minutes the script has found its footing and just keeps getting better  the stories are largely satisfying  although occasionally theres too much attention on one detail but not on another  also  some of the endings seem a little forced and lucky  still  the cast have a meaty script to get into and obviously enjoy it  it could of tried a little harder in some parts however  and these parts lag  because this is a genxer movie  the obligatory rave soundtrack must accompany  and gos one is pretty decent  unlike other genxers movies  go never allows the music to substitute for plot or dialogue  which is a plus  go is a very easy movie to absorb into  and the audience really starts feeling for these characters  thankfully  they never become two dimensional characters who are bent and twisted throughout the movie to fit into the stories mechanics  like the heroine in 10 things i hate about you   they are who they are and they stay that way  go is great fun  and a worthy follow up from the director of swingers  ignore the fact that it steals from pulp fiction and very bad things  and just sit back and enjoy the rollercoaster ride  erm  go to go  i guess  
pos	garry shandling makes his long overdue starring film debut as an alien from a planet populated only by genetically created men  who are looking to take over the earth by propagating their own species there  shandling is chosen for the mission  is given the name harold anderson  and is set up as a banker in seattle  after a few disastrous  mating  attempts  he figures his best bet will be susan  annette bening   a former alcoholic who eventually tells harold that she wont have sex again until she gets married  the leader of harolds planet  ben kingsley  tells him to marry her  and harold is soon exposed to all the  joys  of married life  despite its title and premise which seem to imply that this is some jerry lewis vehicle from the late 1960s  what planet are you from  is a very funny movie  the plot  which the film wisely doesnt linger on the specifics of for too long  is of course nothing more than framework for the jokes  most of which work very well  the material may be considered crude and tasteless by many  and i might have thought so as well had shandling not been the lead  but he brings a sort of pathetic charm to the role  and its his performance that makes the film truly funny instead of just offensive  plus if you think about it  what planet are you from  could have very easily gone the grossout route  considering that shandlings character is given a detachable penis that vibrates and hums when he gets excited   we never see anything though  its all implied  which gives the film a touch of class amidst its crudeness  im glad to see that someone in hollywood still understands the concept of  less is more   the talented supporting cast certainly adds to ones enjoyment of this film  annette bening  oddly playing a merged version of her real estate salesman character from american beauty and her ditzy spiritualist character from mars attacks   does a fine job keeping up with shandling and makes a good catalyst for his brand of humor  she even manages to pull off a potentially disastrous scene where she has to perform a rather goofy rendition of  high hopes  for a lengthy period of time  ben kingsley  john goodman and greg kinnear all fare well in their performances as well  and linda fiorentino    good lord  there should be some sort of law stating that no woman can be that sexy  everything about her character in this film oozes raw sexuality  what planet are you from  is available on dvd from columbia tristar home video  the disc gives you the choice of either watching the film full frame or in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  85  1  and enhanced for 16x9 televisions  also included on the disc as extras  a decent makingof featurette  an isolated score track  talent files for the cast and crew  and the films original theatrical trailer  as well as trailers for wolf  men in black  bugsy and as good as it gets   when i first saw that the disc featured an isolated score track  i actually laughed  how great could the music for a silly little comedy be for it to get its own isolated track  well as it turns out  its a mighty fine score from carter burwell  fargo  the hudsucker proxy  that i enjoyed listening to again while i typed up this review  kudos to columbia tristar for adding that feature to the disc  what planet are your from  was unjustly ignored in theaters  and i hope it finds its deserved audience on home video  this fine dvd is certainly a great way to see it  r 
pos	theres a moment in schindlers list when a number of jews are trudging through snow  clean and crisp  dark edges and frost on the ground  one girl waltzes through  wearing a red dress that stings the eyes  it is probably the finest moment through out the film  when i first saw it i began to cry  though i could not say why  this landscape is the setting of many small moments that add up to one big whole  when one man is shot in the head we see blood oozing out onto the ground  so black and murky  its almost pomegranate red  at another time we follow a young boy as he runs  searching for a hiding spot before finally squeezing into a toilet  which is already occupied  like so  citizen kane  fargo  the godfather  the godfather part ii  greed   many of the greatest american films  schindlers list plays with the concepts of money  power  and soul  but this is a movie about a man who does the right thing  starkly emotional  and brutally powerful  schindlers list strips away everything on the outset and leaves us ony feelings  the following that it has gained is not suprising  this is probably  thus far  the best film of the decade  steven spielberg has always been a skilfull filmmaker  his assured hand churned out both jurassic parks  jaws  the indiana jones films  and e  t   but it wasnt until 1993 that we saw what a brilliant man he can be  the product of his genuis is really something to see  it can bring tears to your eyes just as it uplifts you  throughout  we sense the deep control which he so masterfully spreads  we watch oskar schindler  liam neeson  grow from an arrogant  self important man who hires jews only to save money into a moving figure  with a deep sense of pride and accomplishment  the film requires much work  and can be a harrowing experience  go expecting a quick entertainment and youll be bitterly dissapointed  it does reward the patient viewer  this is a mature spielberg  and his deft hands shape an absoloute masterpiece  this eqsuisite  beautiful film is a rare gem  it does a good job of summarizing why i love movies  it leaves one breathless  uplifted  and with much to think about  afterwards you can reflect on individual images  visions  and people  laconic  removed  schindler strides through the film a detached prescence who watches all  does much  and leaves feeling as if he could  should  have done more then he did and was able to  the change seems natural  in the hands of a lesser filmmaker  it would be crude and would cheat the audience  instead we are told a tale  told a story  the film is punishing to watch  yes  but anyone who allows themselves to get involved will experience a miracle  and a genuine masterpiece of a movie  
pos	i recall the trials and tribulations of my high school years  it was a period that would mercilessly force me to exit boyhood and thrust me into the unwelcome arms of adulthood  but of all the experiences that i collected throughout those tender years  i can honestly say that the toughest and the scariest thing that i had to cope with was my raging hormones and my crazed curiosity about girls and sex  yes  more scarier than my seventh grade english teacher and even scarier than the bullies that constantly hounded me  trying to deal with my personal wonderment about sex was like trying to fight an invisible monster  for all teenagers  its almost like a rite of passage  and what we did was sometimes downright nasty  sometimes funny  and sometimes shocking  and all of that is terrifically and shamelessly brought to light in what might be the funniest movie this summer  american pie is a comedy about four sexually frustrated seniors that enter into a pact to lose their virginity by the end of the school year  just how great are their hormones raging  one of them notes  after watching disneys the little mermaid  that ariel is soooo hot  the four schoolmates are kevin  oz  finch and jim  kevin is the only one with a steady girlfriend  but doesnt want to have sex until the time is just right  but what is the perfect time  there is just no way to know  and that frightens him  oz is the big jock who decides that the way to score with the girls is to listen to them and to be more sensitive  he joins up with a jazz choir and discovers that getting in touch with his feminine side has some tremendous advantages  finch is the phobic hermit who doesnt stand a chance with any girl  so  he pays someone 200 to start spreading rumors about his prowess  suddenly  girls are lining up to go out with him  but among these friends  it is jim that is the most curious and the most fearful  when he has a chance to romp with a pretty exchange student  his inexperience comes shining through  he has much to learn  and will do anything to seek out this kind of knowledge  this may include watching scrambled porn channels or experimenting with moms apple pie in a scene that is completely shocking  raunchy  yet unbelievably funny  the one thing that i want to say about this film is that it well deserves its r rating  there is stuff in here that is completely gross in the same manner that theres something about mary was gloriously ribald  in fact  at first this film received a sinful nc17 rating before a couple of more cuts finally brought it down to a teenaccessible rating  but i guess after seeing the noholdsbarred coarseness of south park  this seems tame by comparison  teens and anyone who can still remember their acne years are the ones that will laugh hardest  but unlike many teen sex comedies  there is a genuine intelligence at work here  these are four normal boys who have a natural curiosity about sex  their plans of action are thoughtful and they think about the consequences  they know what they want  yet temper it with responsibility  but almost always  its impossible to know how to fight the invisible monster  and its these episodes that make american pie such a carnal delight to watch  
pos	full metal jacket  very much like every other hardhitting film about the vietnam war  is an shocking  emotional depiction of the war that effected almost everyone in america  this film is more like platoon than any other in the way that it chronicles the struggles of a young man  private joker  played by matthew modine  during his tour in the vietnam war  however  full metal jacket gives the audience an insight into combat life very rarely seen before  boot camp  these sequences are considered to be the best part in this three act film  even though i found the later portions to be equally stunning  as in platoon  full metal jacket gets off to a quick start  the opening sequence is the initiation for the recruits  which is getting their heads shaved  from there  they find themselves standing at attention and receiving their orders from the extremely hard and punishing sergeant hartman  played extremely well by the former drill instructor r  lee ermey  apparently  the solution was found for the perfect man to play a drill instructor in the movies  because ermey depicts his character extremely well and will make you thank whomever that you were never subjected to such horrible situations  private joker gets off on the wrong foot with the sergeant  as does the large bodied private leonard lawrence  vincent donofrio   whom is dubbed gomer pyle by sgt  hartman  the film is continually narrated by private joker  in which he explains his visions on what is going on  the entire corps  although repeatedly hammered by sgt  hartman  continues on  private pyle  however  seems to be the rag doll for the drill instructor  he continually absorbs the worst punishment and humiliation  and it basically does not stop  that is  until sgt  hartman comes up with a new plan  he will punish the rest of the soontobemarines for pyles goofups  even after joker was assigned to help him out in the best way he can  pyle then receives punishment from his fellow recruits  and things take a turn for the worst  pyle proves that not everyone is emotionally  physically  and mentally cut out for the life of a marine  after graduation  joker is sent over to the height of the action in order to document the war  which is his service  he is not a member of the infantry  and it is unclear if he will ever actually find himself in combat  when he sets out on a documenting mission  this question becomes very clear from the start  joker joins up with a platoon  along with his hometown friend cowboy  arliss howard   and follows their everyday actions  interviewing and filmming them along the way  he also soon finds himself in a position in which he must fight  or die  again  as in the tradition of vietnam war films  full metal jacket can be debated as to whether it is an antiwar film or not  a few of the more powerful scenes toward the end will leave you to decide  full metal jacket succeeds extremely well in documenting the life of a young man in vietnam  as have others in the past  this film  in different ways  also can be viewed as more powerful than others  that  again  is up for debate and depends on your opinion  one thing is for sure  however  no one ever wants to experience the absolute hell that these soldiers are subjected to  unfortunately  many did  
pos	oliver stones latest feature is the last one standing in the long line of biographies of american presidents  its a threehour long saga about the life of one of the most hated and misunderstood leaders of the 20th century  stone doesnt hold back anything as he digs deep inside politics and legal maneuvers of the white house  the director holds nixon responsible for everything he has done  at the same time he creates a very human character  a brilliant and tortured man that is caught in the dirty game of politics  which is here pictured as a wild animal  he is simply trying to tame it  but the occasional switch to the raging sky and the clouds swiftly fleeing over the white house as events run ahead of the presidents ability to control them  stone doesnt in any way apologize for nixon  he blames not only nixons own character flaws but also the imperial presidency itself  the system that  once set in motion  behaves with a mindlessness of its own   nixon  is a modern shakespeare story  a saga about a ruler destroyed by his fatal flaws  theres something almost majestic about the process  as nixon goes down in this film  there is no gloating  but a watery sigh  as of a great ship sinking  sir anthony hopkins is staggering and plays nixon with incredible honesty and understanding  creating a very emotional picture of the 37th american president  joan allens magnificent and captivating performance is certainly worth an oscar statuette  she is strong and loyal as mrs  nixon  the rest of the cast is equally magnificent  including  james woods  j  t  walsh  paul sorvino  ed harris and bob hoskins  everyone does a serious and demanding job  no one are disappointing  stone never loses focus and his direction is steddy  honest and determined  he is displaying the historical facts and at the same time concentrating at the human element  at times he is showing to black and white showing flashbacks from nixons youth and childhood  the flashy editing by brian berdan and frank corwin  robert richardsons rich cinematography and john williams musical score create a hectic and bizarre atmosphere  the films only fault is that its a bit tiering and overloaded with too much political material and legal maneuvers  still its an honest and captivating  a solid piece of movie making  
pos	in tim burtons sleepy hollow  there is a mysterious headless horseman who decapitates residents of the small town of the same name  he rides a beautiful black steed and carries an imposing sword that cauterizes the wound of his victims with an immediate swipe  burtons update on washington irvings classic tale of the legend of sleepy hollow offers us the mystery of the horseman  when the screenplay should have merely settled on the aspect of the horror  writer andrew kevin walker  seven  throws in perhaps too healthy a dosage of sherlock holmes  but the visual treatment of the film is absolutely entrancing  as burton offers foggy locales and detailed costumes that are gorgeous and stirring to examine  as sleepy hollow opens  were greeted with a juicy cameo from martin landau  who won an oscar in burtons ed wood  landau plays a prominent citizen of sleepy hollow  who  on a fateful carriage ride through the forest  is decapitated by an unseen horseback rider  after two more murders haunt the residents of the quaint little town  constable ichabod crane  johnny depp  is sent in to investigate  landlord baltus von tassel  michael gambon  explains to crane that the heads have been severed from the carcass and mysteriously taken in each separate case  and that they believe the murderer is a dead hessian trooper  played briefly by a wonderfully jarring christopher walken  who has risen from the grave after being decapitated in the western woods  crane is not a man of great superstition  and is determined to root out the human culprit with his assortment of gizmos and gadgets  things i was not surprised to find in a tim burton movie   first and foremost  sleepy hollow is a fun horror film  as with virtually all burton movies  we are treated to a wonderful score by composer danny elfman  who has once again poured excitement and imagination into an atmospheric soundtrack that accentuates the gothic mood perfectly  the horseman fx are stylish and impressive  particularly in perfectly blended battle sequences involving actual actors  but why did i enjoy sleepy hollow as much as i did  although enjoyable  it was not the numerous beheadings and the plentiful gore that spurted left and right   it was the light comic touch that burton applied  the film has the sweetness of a candy apple  usually channeled through depps wonderful performance as the lovable geek ichabod crane  who is no longer a mildmannered school teacher but still attains his cowardly qualities  this is certainly not the only alteration thats been made  as the film progresses  it becomes apparent that walker is more concerned with the mystery of the murders than the murders themselves  the momentum is slowed considerably once crane begins piecing the mystery together  because for the audience  its not an issue we particularly wish to be solved  its more effective for the headless horseman to be an elusive demon than an elusive demon with an ulterior motive  still  we are still captivated by the breathtaking technical detail and burtons keen eye to capture our attention  the costuming is exceptional  and the dialogue is crisp and effective throughout  its recognizable that the script was refined by awardwinning playwright tom stoppard   the supporting cast exhibits more color and playfulness than many  a blonde christina ricci is in fine form as von tassels daughter katrina  and an unlikely romance between she and ichabod is surprisingly consistent  walken  michael gough  who appeared in burtons batman films  and miranda richardson are all enjoyable in tackling their separate roles  i suppose the strengths behind sleepy hollow lie within the central trio  director burton  constable depp and the headless horseman who hunts him down with ruthless accuracy  all of this is not to be taken seriously  of course  sleepy hollow is a lavish  frightening and altogether amusing reworking of a classic tale that many people cherished as children  if youve got a decent head on your shoulders  youll have the good sense to gallop off to the theater and enjoy it one last time  
pos	ok  i admit i had a bad attitude about this film from the start  a romantic comedy about the trials and tribulations of single working parents  with a couple of incredibly cute kids thrown in for good measure  yuck  but its not really too bad  it has a lot working against it  for me at least  in addition to the above  it is typical of a lot of recent movies in that it is really just a glorified madefortv movie  but longer and with bigger stars  and you have to pay to see it  it does win you over  though  even if it is painfully predictable  just think about it  two single parents  with their cute kids  are thrown together due to a missed field trip  through a day of near disasters  they cont inually meet  get in one anothers way  cause trouble for one another  and generally insult one another at every opportunity  in fact  they hate each other so much that we know that they are  or soon will be  in love  the only people who hate each other more than lovers are married couples  so this film is predictable  just as the screwball comedies of the classical hollywood cinema were predictable  and the screwball genre is obviously hoffmans model for this film   will they get fired from their yuppie jobs  will they make the big soccer game that is so important to their kids  will pfeiffer realize what a jerk her exhusband  a drummer for bruce springsteen  really is  arent they all    will they finally kiss  well  what do you expect  but there is a certain amount of satisfaction in having our expectations fulfilled  especially when it is done with as much humour  along with a lack of sticky sentimentality  as it is in this film  pfeiffer and clooney have a certain chemistry together that is surprisingly charming  and the kids are neither shoved into the background nor allowed to steal the show  one word of caution  though  this film is being billed in some places as a  family  movie  dont let that stop you  however  i think most kids  especially boys  would be pretty bored by this move  after all  nobody gets killed and there are no explosions  all in all  a good  nonoffensive date movie  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
pos	bowfinger is a good movie about the making of a very bad one  the screenplay  written by costar steve martin  skewers everything in hollywood from cheesy sciencefiction movies to chopsocky fight sequences  and all in a crafty and accomplished manner  anyone who knows of  or has had any association with moviemaking should thoroughly enjoy this clever comedy for its entire duration  the central premise behind the film is an inspired and promising one  bobby bowfinger  martin   a cheapskate and smalltime hollywood producer  has always dreamed of making a successful motion picture but has never attained the proper tools to do so  a new script  an alien invasion story entitled chubby rain  has caught bowfingers eye  after confronting a bigname producer named jerry renfro  robert downey jr   in a restaurant  an agreement is made to finance the movie  but first  bowfinger must get renowned action star kit ramsey  eddie murphy  to sign in on the project  kit turns the offer down immediately  but bowfinger still has the intent to shoot the film  after emptying out his life savings  the hapless producer tells the remaining cast and crew that ramsey is involved  and then prepares to film the movie without the stars knowledge  the actors confront ramsey on the street  saying their lines as hidden cameras peek through bushes to capture the footage  the unknowing star  who is terrified of aliens and being abducted  is brought to believe there is actually pod people after him  when the conditions become even more treacherous  bowfinger is forced to hire a kit ramsey lookalike named jiff  also murphy   a sweetnatured dork who runs for coffee inbetween shooting vital scenes  these include attempting a suicide run across an 8lane freeway  and one of the hot scenes involving supporting actress daisy  heather graham  removing her blouse  bowfinger takes its sweet time getting started  but when the plot switches into high gear  great things happen  certain scenes are so precisely executed  perfectly framing moments that are absolutely falldown funny  no  hilarious  standouts include the chase through a parking garage in which ramsey  whos supposed to be being followed  keeps checking behind him to investigate a strange tapping noise  its actually bowfingers dog in high heels   and just try not to laugh in the climactic kungfu sequence  featuring jiff in an excerpt from another bowfinger classic entitled fake purse ninjas  while the entire 97minutes of bowfinger isnt always on target  individual scenes may have you rolling in the aisles  masterful comedy director frank oz  dirty rotten scoundrels  in and out   who has never made a bad movie  ensures a quality final product and is aided immensely by martins sharpedged script  however  the real onscreen star is eddie murphy  this is the actors finest work since his breakthrough into the hollywood market in the early 80s  murphy excels at every corner  not only succeeding with presenting believable paranoia in the eyes of kit ramsey  but in creating a likable buffoon in jiff as well  these three talented comic minds have squeezed every morsel of potential out of this premise  and the reward is a virtually guaranteed helping of hearty laughs  steve martin generates the power behind bowfinger  but murphy fuels it  this is a summertime comedy that  unlike something such as american pie and south park  doesnt break any rules  but its still just as uproarious  or perhaps even more sidesplitting than anything weve seen this season  the supporting cast  including christine baranski as a workloving actress and jamie kennedy as the cameraman  all perform well within their limits  the only presence that demands real attention when placed next to martin or murphy is the beautiful heather graham  as the young film star who has plans to sleep her way to the top  graham  attempting to further her stardom after appearing as the new powers girl in ap2  displays a cheerful but naive persona that nicely corresponds with the wackiness of the screenplay  i wouldnt be caught dead buying a ticket for chubby rain  but watching how it all came about is certainly entertaining enough  
pos	pulp fiction  quentin tarantinos anxiously awaited and superb followup to reservoir dogs  is absolutely and without a doubt progressing as one of the most talked about  loved  and hated films of alltime  in all fairness  it should be noted that those who love this film greatly outnumber those who hate it  as if reservoir dogs wasnt perfect  tarantino went ahead and improved on perfection by creating pulp fiction  a fastpaced  hard talking  roller coaster ride of a movie that combines violence and extraordinary dialogue in a seemingly perfect way  every major character in this film is represented by a terrific acting performance by the actor  to begin with  the two hit men  vincent vega  john travolta  and jules winnfield  samuel l  jackson   these two characters work together perfectly  and the performances by each actor are nearly perfect  travolta  in fact  is still trying to get out of the vincent vega role  if these two characters were not enough  theres the struggling boxer butch coolidge  bruce willis   the two smalltime criminals pumpkin  tim roth  and honey bunny  amanda plummer   the big man in charge marsellus wallace  ving rhames  and his attractive young wife mia  uma thurman   and the  problem solver  himself  the wolf  harvey keitel   these are just the major characters  smaller roles  but equally terrific  are handed to jimmie  quentin tarantino   a young married man who gets caught up in some serious gangster business  lance  eric stoltz   the farout drug dealer  as well as maynard  duane whitaker  and zed  peter greene   two hillbillies who are the men  behind   no pun intended for those of you who have seen this  a very disturbing scene towards the end of the film  the film interweaves three stories that  at first  seem to be nothing alike but later prove to be very critical to each other  the film begins with pumpkin and honey bunny in a small coffee shop discussing their recent robberies and holdups  the two quickly decide to hold up the coffee shop  unknowing of what lies ahead  after this  the film focuses for some time on vincent and jules and their hit man lifestyle  utilizing the films unforgettable dialogue  the two men discuss such things as hamburgers and foot massages before they bust into an apartment to terrorize the occupants  the two men were sent to the apartment to recover a mysterious briefcase for their boss  marsellus wallace  after basically toying with the men  especially the unfortunate brett  frank whaley   vincent and jules complete their mission and recover the briefcase  this is not before a man jumps out from a bathroom with a  357  hand cannon   shooting at the two gangsters  he somehow completely misses them  leading jules to cite divine intervention  this is also the basis for more of the nowfamous tarantino dialogue  the film then shifts to focus on boxer butch coolidge and his boxing escapades  butch was ordered to take a fall in his latest fight  but when he does not  marsellus vows to find him  wherever he is  and make sure that butch is not able to enjoy his new fortune  vincent  meanwhile  has the honor of taking marsellus wife  mia  out on a date while the big man is out of town  vincent  obviously  is rather nervous about this  especially after hearing the tale about a man who was thrown out of a window for supposedly giving mia a foot massage  after their date  which seems to rather smoothly  things take a turn for the worst at the hands of vincents highpriced heroin  dubbed a  monster  by lance  each story continually progresses  and new and amazing events occur  eventually  the stories all meet each other in the end  with pumpkin and honey bunny holding up the restaurant  which happens to contain both vincent and jules  pulp fiction is definitely one of the best films of the decade  and possibly of alltime  along with its superb dialogue  action  writing  directing  and acting  this film will not only latch onto you  but it proves that it does not want to release you until it has sunk its claws completely into you  and with most fans of this movie  this is proved to be a rather easy task  although at times the graphic images  violence  and language may seem a bit overpowering  surely  quentin tarantinos fame was greatly escalated by this film  and he proves not to be one who will fade from existence very soon  
pos	i think the first thing this reviewer should mention is wether or not i am a fan of the xfiles  first  let me assure you that no prior experience with the series is required to fully enjoy this movie  the producers are not stupid  making a movie just for fans of the series is not profitable  you have to reach for a larger audience  therefore  the movie is quite userfriendly  altough  nonfans will only fail to understand certain emotions behind the looks many characters exchange  but fear not  duchovny and another man later on provide more than adequate background info on what is going on  you will never feel as if you just walked in on the third act of some great opera  in any case  the answer is no  i am not a fan of the xfiles  i only watch it when nothing else is on and i prefer millennium  however  since the fox network as been so kind as to air several key episodes for several weeks before the movies opening weekend i took that opportunity to test the movie  i taped all of these episodes and watched them only after seing the movie  i am glad to report that i learned nothing new  everything you need to know is explained to the viewer by duchovny and others  i know i am going maybe a bit too far to make my point but everybody should get the chance to experience this movie  warning  major spoilers follow  please do not read  to fully enjoy this movie you must not be able know what is coming  what exactly is over that hill and what that weird  hummm  sound is all about  you have been warned  the xfiles is what a summer should be  exciting  scary  great special effects  unlike other summer movies the effects do not take over the movie and are only there when it is really necessary  and good performances  this is coming from a guy who thinks david duchovny is the human equivalent of a wooden plank  from start to finish  this movie does not let go of you  when i compare it with last summers movies the best way to describe it would be  take the excitement and great score from faceoff and the deadly use of sound from event horizon  this flick is scary  not in a b movie kind of way where you always know where and when the critter will jump at our heroes  in fact  the first time the critter in this movie makes an apperance it is totally out of the blue  you might as well bring ear plugs because this thing is louuuudd  the last time a monster scared me that much was when i first saw aliens as a six year old kid  you know  when you are affraid to put you feet on the floor because the creature might be under the chair  or when you keep trying to cover your throat with your shirt  so yeah  the xfiles is scary  and guess what  you never even have to see the monster but your imagination works overtime and it sure beats having to watch a flawed  computer generated  babyzilla  it looks like you could walk right through it not even scarier than your grandma in undies type of monster  do not think that the xfiles is a monster movie  in fact  the creature is there for maybe three minutes total  no  the xfiles is definately a mulder episode of the series  scully is at his side  of course  but gillian anderson gets maybe half the screen time  she has a couple of good scenes with duchovny  but she gets kidnapped during the last half hour of the movie so she does not get to do much  no  this is mulders time in the spotlight  by now  you have heard of the scene where mulder  showers  independence day  if you have not then i will not spoil it for you  lets just say that due to recent events mulder should be  showering  godzilla instead  to those of you wondering if mulder discovers that the truth is indeed out there    who cares   if he did find it the series would over anyway so what are you complaining about  the dialogue in interesting and the director is marvelous  the camera is almost always looking over the shoulder of our heroes so we feel as if we are right there with them when they open a door or climb a hill  the script is spotless  every thing that happens happens for a purpose  if you are confused by something  do not worry because it will all become clear later on but  and i cannot stress this enough  pay attention    unlike most summer movies  the dialogue is twice as important as the effects  miss one vital piece of information and  like most people who talk during movies  you will go home and tell all your friends how this movie made no sense  also  to those people who need to go to the bathroom during movies    dont  the person who watched the movie with me had to go twice and twice she missed an important conversation  there is no time to take a breather between scenes because  again unlike most summer movies  godzilla anybody   the xfiles does not need to fill scenes between the suspense and the action with useless subplots  every scene is crucial and serves a purpose  who needs to see the blond chiouaoua have a  big emotional scene  between godzilla attacks  so far this summer i have seen only one movie who ranks higher on my list of movies id recommend and that is the truman show but it only wins by a nose  but the truman show is not what i would call a summer movie  the xfiles is  what more do you ask from a summer movie other than the chance to be excited  cool effects  its good some  pulse pounding  hell yes  strangely enough  i think that fans of the series will hate this movie while nonfans will have a good time  it does not provide answers to the shows many questions  the status quo remains nearly the same and  no  mulder and scully do not get together  rating  four and a half out of five stars for the best movie yet this summer  several jump right out of your seat thrills  many  whoah  i never saw that one coming   moments  four  holy shit  where the hell did that come from  and one heck of an ending  you may wonder where this movie lost half a star  well  i swore never to give a movie the full five stars so i had to find something about the in his ice truck  the tracks it leaves in the snow behind him go on for several miles but then they just stop  its pretty obvious the films makers drove the truck for several miles to give the appearance that mulder had been driving for a long time  but in the end it looks like mulder just dropped from the sky and started driving  
pos	i know it already opened in december  but i finally got around to seeing rushmore last weekend  and it was one of those rare oppritunites that i got to leave the theatre feeling proud about paying the expensive ticket price  as the final scene closed out in happy slowmo fashion  i felt happy to have been priveleged enough to watch such a good display of filmmaking  jason schwartzman  his face oddly intriguing behind those large braces and glasses  steals the show as max fischer  the most well known rushmore academy student who gets terrible grades  but compensates for it by organizing most of the schools clubs and organizations  i  e  the fencing team and writing and producing school plays  and often pulling outrageous stunts  one that eventually earns him an expulsion  this stunt  building an aquarium on the schools baseball diamond  is a plot to steal the heart of widowed elementary teacher rosemary cross  olivia williams   he funds this aquarium with the help of millionare herman blume  a very oscarworthy bill murray   who eventually finds himself falling in love with miss cross  rosemary and herman begin datingand the fun begins  herman and max go at it head to head in a battle for miss cross  herman manages to destroy maxs bike  while max cuts hermans brakes  and it goes on like this  but eventually max realizes he is too young for miss cross  and he cant stand in the way of two people in love  the academy of arts  sciences really messed up this year  they completely overlooked rushmore  and  if you ask me  it wasnt an accident   it maybe wasnt best picture material  but it certainly deserved a screenplay nod  instead of elizabeth   and bill murrays absense from the ballot is a complete snub  the entire mood of the film is one reason it is so good  at one point its fun  and the next scene can turn serious and dramatic  the cinematography gives the movie an important feeling  as well  i hope rushmore can overcome its oscar snubs  and be enjoyed by intelligent film goers  
pos	capsule  this is a film that avoids easy answers  wilhelm furtwangler  then the worlds greatest orchestra conductor stayed in germany and cooperated with the nazis  what were his views  was he a war criminal or a secret resistance fighter  how much did he know about crimes against humanity  the us government investigated him after the war and this film is a dramatization of that investigation   high 2  4 to 4  in my opinion one of the best films of the last few years is istvan szabos sunshine  a film that covers the fortunes of a jewish hungarian family under the reigns of three different regimes  hungarian aristocrats  nazis  and communists  szabos followup film  a german production  is much more limited in scope  it is about the postwar investigation of who criminally supported the nazis and who opposed them  ronald harwoods screenplay ambiguously looks at the investigation of a great classical music conductor who stayed on in germany when the nazis took power and became the most popular conductor of the third reich  maj  steve arnold  played by harvey keitel  has been assigned by his superiors to investigate wilhelm furtwangler  stellan skarsgard   perhaps europes greatest classical music conductor  when other artists fled germany  furtwangler remained behind and conducted for the hitler and his henchmen  after the war is over arnold assigned to interview furtwangler and members of his orchestra and if appropriate to prosecute him for war crimes  he secretly is told by his commanding officer to find furtwangler guilty  from there we follow him and learn a little about arnold and something about furtwangler and his orchestra  as he interviews members of the wartime orchestra arnold starts noticing odd peculiarities that may or may not point to a conspiracy against his investigation  there is a certain sameness to the responses that he is getting  perhaps any cooperation he is getting has been in some ways managed  if so  perhaps he can never come to the truth  in large part the film is about mind games that arnold uses to manipulate his interviewees and especially furtwangler  where the script has problems is that in the end it is so ambiguous  it has no obvious resolution and not much of a final act  when it is over whether anything has been established is open to interpretation  perhaps that is better than so many films that make it all to obvious what the audience should believe  but it is like watching a murder mystery and never finding out who the killer is  we are given clues to something but they are never tied up  in the end we just know more about both arnold and furtwangler  the film is basically a stage play  the visual is not very important  corners are cut visually including touches like filling windows with photographs to avoid having to shoot on location  as with a stage play  what this film centers on the dialog  and that is intriguing  i rate the film an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale and a high 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  there is one piece of sloppiness few people but me would notice  at one point we clearly see arnolds desk calendar say  jan 16 tues   a quick mental calculation told me that combination could occur in 1945 and then not again until 1951  the events had to take place in 1946 or 1947  a possible date could be obtained from any world almanac   
pos	 gattaca  represents a solid breakthrough in the recent onslaught of sciencefiction films  its a genre picture that doesnt rely on alien creatures or loud explosions to tell its story  the movie takes place in a futuristic world where babies are created through genetic tampering and not sexual reproduction  this allows parents to predetermine what kind of eye color  intelligence and life span theyd like for their child  and also eliminates most pesky chances of health defects  those made the oldfashioned way are labeled as  invalids  and confined to the lower rung of society  vincent freeman  ethan hawke  is one such person  born not too long before the genetic process was perfected and forced to grow up in a home with his petrie dishmolded younger brother anton  fed up with being secondrate and enchanted by dreams of one day traveling through space  vincent leaves home and takes a janitorial position at the gattaca aerospace corporation  everyday  he watches as  superior  folk make his fantasy a reality  determined to do the same  vincent meets a dna broker  tony shalhoub in a funny cameo  who sells fake identities to invalids  his counterpart for this scam is jerome morrow  jude law   an exathlete left paralyzed in an accident and confined to a wheelchair for life  for a price and the promise of a caretaker  jerome supplies vincent with his identity  as well as blood  skin and urine samples for all of those pesky onthejob tests and physical examinations  this future is one where employees clock in by pricking their fingers instead of punching a time card  because of his drastically improved status  vincent is quickly propelled to a high position in gattaca  and catches the eye of comely coworker irene  uma thurman  on the way  obsessed with her own minor heart defect  shes enamored by his flawless persona she doesnt know is a lie  but on the figurative eve of his upcoming planetary departure  the mission director is murdered  two ardent detectives  alan arkin and billy bathgates loren dean  determine the killer is on the inside of gattaca  and the sole clue they find at the crime scene  one of vincents eyelashes  threatens to blow vincents cover and derail his goal  even if  gattaca  were dramatically empty  it would still boast a sublime set of production credentials  the films look is dazzling without ever being flashy  firsttime directorwriter andrew niccol  he also wrote the screenplay for the upcoming jim carrey drama  the truman show   demonstrates a keen eye for the stylish  his collaboration with cinematographer slawomir idziak  production designer jan roelfs and costume designer colleen atwood result in a sophisticated composition that emanates classy  retro ambiance  an opening credits sequence  where skin  nail and hair fragments fall in slowmotion through a colored camera lens  displays these combined talents uncannily  niccol even utilizes voiceover narration  a device almost always poorlyemployed  in an effective way  when it comes to acting  the movie is also flawless  ethan hawke does magnificent work  proving his ability to carry a film and reaffirming his enormously high charisma level  his chemistry with thurman is a bit on the icy side  but needfully so  adding to the settings clinical chill  as the bitter jerome  jude law has a starmaking presence  and its his scenes with hawke that give the movie its fine emotional core  in  gattaca  s series of final shots  the fates of vincent and jerome are superimposed over each other  and the effect is sad  lyrical and beautiful  things get a little strange as the movie nears its climax  when vincents relationship with his brother comes back into view  the big dramatic culmination is a swim race  which is somewhat silly albeit beautifully photographed  still  the single most surprising aspect of gattaca is its use of backdrop  its successful scifi without showy special effects  its a crisp thriller with characterdriven thrills  its a futuristic fable without blood and guts  even its murder mystery is relegated to a secondary subplot  ensuring that a smart story about smart people and smart science takes center stage  although its portrayal of the upcoming century is grim   gattaca  serves up one of the most thoughtprovoking societal forecasts ever depicted on film  
pos	there was a huge crowd  so many over 100 people could not be admitted  at a premiere screening of  the nephew   first screening with a major general audience admittance   this was a movie premiere at the santa barbara international film festival  pierce brosnan  007   produced his first movie with beau st  clair  it was a constantly mindmoving and personal movie with lovely scenes of ireland  chad  hill harper  beloved  is a cute 17 year old mixed race  african american and irish  nephew  whos irish mother died  he comes  back to ireland   living with the curmudgeon uncle  tony egan  donal mccann   he meets pierce brosnans character  mr  obrady  or just brady   because he falls in love with the beautiful daughter  there are many scenes  ah  character scenes  to laugh at  others pull some tears  the three mentioned above were at the premiere in the flesh  with the director eugene brady  after the movie they took questions  the movie was very good  it not fantastic  the nephew has not been  picked up  in north america but has been in the rest of the world  the nephew is generation secrecy of a  titanic  proportion  lets hope the rest of america will be able to see the nephew  contact given in the program guide   print source  irish dream source  inc   tel   310  4493411  
pos	available in an all new video edition from arrow entertainment  29  95   with an introduction by david carradine  written  produced by wayne j  keeley f  w  murnaus career ended sadly and prematurely  the german director of such classics as  sunrise  and  the last laugh  died in a car accident shortly after signing a deal to make american pictures at paramount  murnau was reportedly a giant man  well over six feet  a towering figure probably incapable of anything but a grand entrance  which brings us to  nosferatu  a symphony of horror   surely he felt a kinship with his title character  the looming vampire embodied by intimidating max schreck  in one of the most indelible images in film history  silent or otherwise  schreck rises from his grave  gnarled hands outstretched  and hes so big that part of his head is cropped by the top of the frame  the plot of  nosferatu     is liftedunauthorizedfrom bram stokers  dracula   the british hutter is an eager real estate man assigned to visit and discuss future living arrangements with count orlock of transylvania  he leaves behind girlfriend emily  only to discover orlocks secrethes a bloodsuckerand struggle to return to england before the nosferatu reaches his lady love  in addition to schrecks performance  the cinematography and effects are outstanding  arrow videos digitally remastered version of the classic is something of a mixedcoffin  the cover art features a redtinted  hairy  goateed vampire staring straight at you  his fanged mouth agape  while the bodies of two sexy  writhing women entice you below  trouble is  murnaus monster is palefaced  bald  pointyeared  and nongoateed  and there isnt a single sexy  writhing woman to be found in his movie  this sort of misleading packaging makes little sense when one recalls the countless number of ghouslish scenes in the film from which cool cover art could have been extracted  additionally  notifying the viewer that this is in fact murnaus film seems like afterthought since his name and the genuine title are written in small print below our goateed vampire  that said  a good mastering job has been performed on the film itself  the original elements are not in the best conditionnonstudio silents were unlucky in their preservation so were still dealing with a slightly washed out  scratched  jittering image  but at least the day and night scenes are tinted sepia and blue  respectively  especially helpful to an audience who may question nosferatus waltzing around during what seems like sunlight  it took a lot of light to expose stock in the twenties   the title cards have been redone  and they are legible  accurate  and digitally altered to flickera very nice touch   even the opening copyright warning flickers   the score has been replaced by music from type o negative  a hardrock group  arguably gothic  and their songs underscore the film nicely certainly the coolest video a band can ask for  when our hero  hutter  first steps onto the doomed carriage to count orlocks castle  we hear a welltimed  now youre dead   from lead singer peter steele  david carradine makes an appropriately vampiric host  he fiddles with a blade and cane while introducing the film  after the feature  which runs about 63 minutes  is included a new music video from type o negative  the blackandwhite fangfest  black no  1   of course   nosferatu  a symphony of horror  is the main attraction  and while my latest viewing raised questions  why is the woman called emily in the title cards but  mina  as bram stoker called herin hutters letters   for instance   it made me realize how much this movie has inspired and been stolen from  coppolas 1992  bram stokers dracula  owes a great stylistic debt to murnaus masterpiece  but the one thing it couldnt thieve was the originals abstract charms  this latest incarnation from arrow will probably like the rescored  metropolis  a few years backturn a silent film into more palpable entertainment for the latest generation of film freaks  
pos	when i left the theater after seeing david lynchs  lost highway   i remarked to a fellow moviegoer   i feel like someone just sucked my brains out through my nose and put them back in through my ears   in his first feature film in five years  lynch delivers a film second only to his debut picture  eraserhead  on the weirdness scale  you wont  know  what happened when its over  though there are certainly enough clues with which to make some reasonable guesses  it is difficult to describe the plot of this film  because it depends partly on how you interpret it  i can  however  describe what we see on the screen  l  a  jazz saxophonist fred madison  bill pullman  and his wife renee  patricia arquette   whom he clearly suspects of infidelity  receive a series of videotapes apparently filmed inside their house while they were asleep  they are  naturally enough  more than a little frightened and confused  and it doesnt help matters any when  mystery man   robert blake  approaches fred at a party and proceeds to call himself on the telephone at the madisons house in a scene that is at once hilarious and unnerving  the next morning  fred finds another videotape which  to his  and our  surprise  shows him brutally murdering renee in their bedroom  he is convicted of her murder and sent to death row  where he inexplicably disappears one night and is replaced by a young mechanic named pete dayton  balthazar getty   the perplexed prison officials release dayton  whose life begins to intersect with fred in a number of ways  most notably his affair with alice wakefield  arquette again   a blonde who is otherwise renees spitting image  and another encounter with the mystery man  i would be giving away a little too much to reveal any more  but suffice it to say that lynch doesnt offer any neat wrap  ups  nor does he put a lid on the metaphysical confusion  the cinematic demons of  lost highway  are out in full force from beginning to end  this description might make  lost highway  sound like a giddy exercise in haywire surrealism  but in fact  while there are traces of lynchs weird sense of humor  this film is anything but giddy most of the time  on the contrary  lost highway is a dark and perplexing mystery that takes lynchs previous excursions into murder and intrigue one step farther  the film does not revolve around a character investigating a mystery  rather  the character  is  the mystery  there are recurring and at times deeply disturbing images of suspicion  distrust  and infidelity thoughout the film that seem to indicate a deluded  fractured psyche at the root of all the bizarre goingson here  we  the audience  are left to puzzle out whose psyche it is that is driving this  probably freds  in my opinion  and what  in that case  the other characters and events are meant to represent  all of this proceeds  appropriately  in lynchs typically slowpaced  idiosyncratic style  as is often the case  lynch relies on sound  imagery  and mood more than on dialogue and action to tell his story  and in  lost highway  it works perfectly  there are scenes when the camera lingers on freds blank expression as he drifts uncomfortably down a hallway  or on his pained face in his prison cell while the haunting strains of this mortal coils  song to the siren  can be heard faintly in the background  nothing is technically  happening  in these scenes  yet they present a vivid picture of a man losing his grip just as effective as  if not more so than  the hysterical screaming found in most movie presentations of insanity  lynchs direction and director of photography pete demings darkly lit cinematography serve to create a nearly suffocating atmosphere of tension and fear that are exactly what is needed for this story  well  most of the time  anyway  i have to admit that i was a bit bored at times during the section of the film with pete dayton as the protgaonist  which is less inherently interesting and mostly keeps the viewers attention because of its tieins to the original mystery  the main characters in this  reality   dayton  a wellmeaning but none too intelligent 24yearold   a sleazy gangster  who for some reason has two names but otherwise is pretty much a stock character   and his pornstar girlfriend  the blond arquette   are nothing you couldnt find in any of the two dozen  pulp fiction  wannabes  fortunately  the reappearance of the mystery man as well as some other typically lynchian elements  such as the strained  awkward conversations between pete and his parents  help to preserve the films spooky  unnerving tone during this stretch  lynchs typically graphic and disturbing portrayals of fringe sexuality  while relevant to the themes of jealousy and adultery  are also somewhat overdone here  its not exactly exploitative  like almost everything else in this film  the sex is thoroughly weird and creepy and is unlikely to provide any cheap lurid thrills  as much as it is unnecessary and frankly kind of dumb by the seventh or eighth time arquette takes her clothes off  that said  these minor flaws dont prevent  lost highway  from attaining its place as one of the darkest  most unsettling films to hit the screens in recent years  it is a oneway ride down the lost highway of a disturbed mind  and as such it is gripping  intense  and brilliantly effective  
pos	melvin udall is a heartless man  he spends his days inside of his spacious manhattan apartment writing romance novels  it also seems that melvin will never change  one day he dines ar his favorite restaurant  and is a little too mean to his normal waitress  the only waittress that will serve him   carol  played to perfection by a lovely and sexy helen hunt   she threatens not to serve him if he doesnt shut up about her asthmatic son  he does shut up  to make matters considerably worse  melvin has obsessive compulsive disorder  one day his gay artist neighbor simon  greg kinear  of talk soup fame  in an oscarworthy role  s dog threatens to dismiss himself at melvons door  the dog meets the garbage chute  soon simon is sadly beaten by thieveing burglars  and ray  cuba gooding  jr    simons agent  takes the dog  verdell  to melvin  so that melvin can dogsit him  and through the dog and a rather heartwrenching car trip that involves simon  carol  and himself  melvin learns to emerge from his cantakerous shell  jack nicholson gives yet another oscarcaliber performance as the films cynical lead  and is back at work  not playing a goofy u  s  president or a comic book villian  but instead playing jack nicjolson  and playing him full force  all of this adds up to this years funniest comedy  a creative  witty  and scathing film from james l  brooks  and brooks gets awardworthy performances from the entire cast  a winner in every aspect  and a truly delicious slice of cyncial life  
pos	im not really sure what to think about  crash   on the surface  its a cold  boring  unerotic porn with name starts  a name director  and some cool camerawork  i mean  it left me completely bored  unsatisfied  and generally kinda weirded out  but then again  not every films supposed to leave you entertained   crash  is structured to play like a porn flick  but with significantly more plot and dialogue  while we see several extremely taboo scenes of weirdo sex  we also have a skimpy little plot going on  mostly towards the beginning   and maybe just a hair of characterization  not to mention the acting is generally pretty good  and we dont really see a lot of the actors completely exposed  but what makes it supremely different from a porn is the fact that this is not an erotic experience  this film does not posess the erotic hypnotism of  henry and june  or the just plain horniness of  say   deep throat   not that ive seen it   if one was to be made completely hot by this film  it would probably mean they were also into the whole  auto eroticism  thing  the film leaves you cold erotically  and maybe in many other ways   but what it does is present a group of people who live on the edge  the film opens up on a woman  catherine  deborah kara ungar  of  the game    pressing her bare breast up against a car in a public air hangar  suddenly  a man enters the frame and begins to take her from behind  the film doesnt show all this though  even if it is nc17   the next scene has a film director  james  james spader   having sex with a camera woman  alice poon  in an office on the highlypopulated set of his movie  the next scene has the two coming together  revealing to us that theyre husband and wife  and them sharing in one anothers escapades  while the two are arguably freaky people  we at least know they love to live on the edge  soon afterwards  james is driving down the road at night  reclessly of course  hes reading something   when he drifts into the other lane  and then hits another car face on  james is not killed  but the passenger in the other car flies into his seat  obviously dying   leaving the driver  helen remington  holly hunter  in a porn    also alive  the two go through therapy together  and when getting out  they run into eachother again  when james gives her a ride home  they almost get into another accident  and immeadiately afterwards  they go to an unbusy parking lot  and have a little quickie  as they were aroused by the accident  you wouldnt think there would be many people who shared this same kind of fetish  but they run into a freaky guy named vaughan  elias kosteas  and his crutchcarrying girlfriend  gabrielle  rosanna arquette   who are also into it  vaughan is into living on the edge as they are  but he takes it to another level  he loves to recreate famous car crashes  in one scene  he and a friend  colin seagrave  peter macneill  recreate james deans car crash without any padding or safety belts  and suffer some concussions  but nevertheless get a rush  and the attention of the police   soon  these five are all having sex with one another  be it straight  gay  or lesbian sex  while this is admittingly all a bit comical  the film is almost like a black comedy   the film does do a pretty awesome portrayal of people whos main fetish is living on the edge  im sure somewhere there are people who get aroused by car accidents  but i personally dont see a connection between car crashes and sex  the main connection cronenberg shows us that both give a definite rush  his car crash scenes are quick and exciting minimasterpieces  were at first not sure if theyll take place  but everytime it looks like it may occur  we gasp  then when it happens  we hold our breath  the same thing happens with sex  although not in the same fashion  these people are merely taking it to another level  the only problem with the film is that its a tad redundant  a normal porn lasts from an hour to an hour and a half  this goes on for about 100 minutes  and it just seems a little too long  the sex and car crashes are far between one another  and the time between them are a tad on the boring side  theres no characterization  although it could definitely be argued  that hey  its a porn  and were not here to sympathize  but still  they coulda cut it down a bit  but the film is saved with its presentation  as well as some other elements  the atmosphere is very dark and forboding  creating a kind of cool weird feeling  and there are several scenes are just amazing  one scene has catherine and james having sex  while she softly asks him questions about being with a man  which sounds almost erotic the way she says it  a sequence involving one characters death is filled with all the edgy disjointment that the film needs  and the final shot is shot perfectly  creating an image of a car crash  and a couple having sex in front of it  despite the fact that shes wounded  the acting is also pretty good  especially for what is almost a porn  ousting linda lovelace as best actress in a porn   while james spader is pretty boring  hes usually pretty intense   deborah kara ungar is amazing  she speaks all her words in almost zombielike hushes  and when shes having sex  she has a blank look on her face  not showing the viewer whether shes enjoying it or not  in one scene  she actually looks dead while someone is having sex with her  holly hunter  who gets extra credit just for appearing in something like this  is pretty good  and so is rosanna arquette  who adds a kinda cool kinkiness to her role   but the film is stolen by elias kosteas who plays his character so intensely that he almost upstages everyone  he often speaks as he is out of breath  showing a definite affinity for his way of life  he has a great deal of energy in several scenes  especially one scene where hes taking photographs of a picture  and a later scene where hes getting a freaky tatoo  he and spader share sexual chemistry in several scenes  foreshadowing a later scene  kosteas is a little known actor  his biggest role was casey jones in  teenage mutant ninja turtles    but here he shows a denirolike presence  hinting that hes capable of bigger roles  while i hardly enjoyed  crash   its still a pretty intriguing portrayal of a group of people who  if the exist  are some of the strangest and most bizarre people in the world  these people are able to share a rush between two completely different entities  and the film  which doesnt exactly pain them in a negative light  is sucessful in bringing them to light  even if it leaves the viewer unnerved and generally freaked out  despite the hardcore nature of the film and the subsequent nc17 rating  theres also an rrated version  but i wouldnt even go near that thing   anyone looking for a quick turnon should just rent a regular porno  
pos	the first thing you notice about this movie is that its cold  placed in minnesota and north dakota during the winter  many of the scenes take place outside with long scenes of snowcovered ground against a background of white  just what we need as bloomington struggles out of the endless long cold night  as with most coen brothers films  this features outlandish characters in nefarious schemes  each of which works out in the oddest way possible  a car salesman hires a couple of hoods to kidnap his wife so that he can collect the ransom from her father  along the way everything that can possibly go wrong does  in brief scenes of vicious violence  people get shot through the head  in the back  face  chest and various other areas of the anatomy  there is also one of the most unpleasant body disposal scenes yet seen on the screen  remarkably enough  most of the movie is played for laughs  even more remarkably  it works  the only likable person in the film is the very pregnant sheriff  frances mcdormand  who hunts down the killers while eating at every possible opportunity  with every good film the audience gains new knowledge  here you learn two things  everyone in minnesota speaks in an annoying whining accent that would drive you crazy  and dont do violent illegal business with lowlife amoral degenerate scumsucking losers  oh yeah  if you get shot in the face  using a brightly decorated napkin to stop the bleeding just makes you look goofy  
pos	plot  odin is a great high school basketball player  hes dating a hot girl and the coach loves his ass  in fact  the coach even admits to having fatherly feelings towards him  unfortunately  the coachs real son  hugo  isnt too pleased to hear that  in fact  he doesnt like hearing about any of odins triumphs  as they generally supersede his own  so what does he set out to do  well  lets just say that he starts to mess with peoples heads and one thing leads to another thing which leads to    well  youll see  critique  a very powerful  thoroughly depressing  wellacted  nonteen  movie starring a bunch of teens  credit director tim blake nelson for creating a modern day version of this shakespearian classic  set in a realistic high school environment  with the basketball championships as the backdrop and an impending sense of doom as it core  you also have to give it up to all of the actors in this film  who turn over some very convincing performances  taking you through all of their characters ups and downs  hartnett especially should be applauded for taking on such a despicable character  a dude who you just want to grab by the throat and beat the shit out of  sign of a good actor  if you ask me   phifer also comes to play in this movie  with a nice blend of charisma  fear  love and anger spread over his character  i was always on this guys side and definitely felt sorry for him as things moved along  julia stiles was also good  but her character wasnt much different from others that shes played recently  i was however very surprised with martin sheens showing  since i hadnt taken him too seriously as an actor over the past few years  his character is definitely overthetop in this film  but i appreciated his fervor  his rage  his ultimate and blind desire to win above all  a great example of a workaholic man who cannot see the trees from the forest  i did have a few reservations about the movie though  first of all  what was with all of the gangsta hiphop music used in pretty much every other scene transition  it was cute at first  but became a little too obvious and annoying after a few times  the film was also edited pretty choppily    like some scenes were cut out and no one  cleaned it up  afterwards  i also didnt like the fact that hartnetts character  the man behind much of the nastiness that goes down in this film  was infallible  in other words  pretty much everything he says or asks of someone  happens automatically and without any goofups  i mean  i know the guy is smart and all  but i would have appreciated a little more  realism  under some of the circumstances  but overall  the movie will devastate you  its not a  fun date movie   its not a movie about the high school basketball team and how its black star falls for the white girl from the other side of the tracks  its about jealousy  love  envy  fury  passion  revenge and pretty much any other negative thought thats ever passed through your head  is it worth seeing  oh  most definitely   pun intended  its a moving picture with great performances  no shakespearian speak  thank you  god   and an outstanding directorial job by nelson  the final scene alone is enough to send a massive chill down your spine  and i was especially impressed with the directors choice of music near the end  in fact  the whole sequence was quite reminiscent of the final showdown scene from taxi driver  and i guess thats saying something right there  wheres joblo coming from  10 things i hate about you  710   election  710   hamlet  610   loves labors lost  810   natural born killers  910   save the last dance  710   shakespeare in love  510  
pos	defending your life is an imaginative vision of the afterlife from the twisted mind of writerdirector albert brooks  who also stars in the comedy  after dying in a car crash  on his birthday of all days  brooks wakes up in judgement city  a satirical rendition of purgatory where higher beings evaluate the lives of newly deceased earthlings  brooks has five days to convince two judges that hes worthy of passing on to higher plains of existence  enter rip torn as the slick lawyer who defends brooks in court against prosecutor lee grant  during his  trial   brooks must view episodes of his life on a movie screen  and these scenes are both hysterically funny and painfully poignant  its impossible to resist chuckling  and cringing  at brooks as he and torn try to explain away his cowardly behavior on earth  torn  in particular  is in vintage comic form  and he walks away with the picture  the movie also features meryl streep  appealing as the loveinterest  and shirley maclaine  who pops up in a hilarious cameo  while the film is uneven  many of its gags are price less  take  for example  the food in judgement city  its always the most delicious youve ever tasted    and its also caloriefreeso chow down  
pos	jake kasdan  son of one of the best screenwriters around  breaks into filmmaking by writing and directing this hardtocategorize detective story  part mystery  part comedy  part character study and part romance  for the most part  kasdan manages to combine the genres successfully and create a captivating film  daryl zero  bill pullman  is a modern day sherlock holmes  the parallel is present down to his love of music  though zero plays the guitar rather than the violin   and his addiction to drugs  amphetamines  rather than morphine   he even titles his cases with such sherlockian epigrams as the case of the mismatched shoelaces  the case about the man who lied about his age  or the case of the hired gun who made way way too many mistakes  however zeros observance of the fine art of detachment  though it makes him a brilliant private investigator  makes him somewhat of a selfimposed outcast in society  he could do nothing without the legwork of his trusty assistant dr  watson  i mean steve arlo  ben stiller   arlo is not happy with his job  he is thrilled to be around zeros brilliance  but his bizarre behavior  and strange requests  are frustrating to the former lawyer  and theyre even more so to his girlfriend  jess  angela featherstone   who is fed up that her boyfriends boss means more to arlo than her  this is the situation when a new case comes knocking  gregory stark  ryan oneill  hires zero to find his lost keys  it seems that he kept a safety deposit box key on the ring  and the box apparently contains some incriminating evidence  now  stark is being blackmailed  and needs to reclaim his key before the nightmare can end  to solve this case  zero reluctantly crawls out of his shell  however  this is when he is vulnerable    and this time he falls for charms of a wily paramedic  gloria sullivan  kim dickens   who may be involved in the blackmail scheme  for the first time  zero has to question his own objectivity  as he finds his client less and less sympathetic  zero effect is weakest in its obviously  wacky  scenes depicting daryl zeros odd behavior  such scenes might be appropriate in an outandout satire  making zero an ace venturaish character  however  theres a much meatier movie in here    it just takes a while to get out  thats not to say that theres not a place for humor in this film  in fact  some of the best scenes are ben stillers wonderfully underplayed comic moments of absolute disgust and frustration with his employer  however  the overthetop scenes never quite gel with the rest of the film  and they arent funny enough to stand on their own  once the investigation is underway  however  zeros brilliance really begins to shine  his lightning quick inferences are as fascinating as many of sherlocks own  as the mystery begins to unfold  zeros deductions lead the plot in interesting directions  but never lose the viewer  zero effect works well during its romantic scenes as well  zeros relationship with gloria is lowkey  but it hits all the right notes  however  we are always kept distant from glorias character  shes given plenty of development  but we never understand what she is thinking  perhaps that may be intentional  to place the audience in zeros zone of detachment  but  on the whole  it is frustrating  bill pullman  when hes not spacing out  creates a vibrant character in daryl zero  theres one moment when zero briefly connects to the world which he has managed to detach from for many years  and it is shockingly moving    expressing a seriousness that heretofore was unassociated with the character  but one which fits in well  and  although it is sometimes hard to take a detective called  zero  seriously  it is at this moment that the viewer understands the meaning behind the name  although zero effect is a bit awkward in places  it is a strong debut for kasdan  and shows great promise  
pos	well ill be damned  what a most excellent surprise  not to be confused with the campy and far inferior 1988 remake starring exporn star traci lords  this more recent attempt at remaking the 1950s drivein schlockfest not of this earth is a real gem and was quite possibly the best scifi flick of 1995  once again  bmovie king roger corman is behind this effort  he directed the original  but this time he appears only in the role of executive producer  the rest of the crew and cast are relative unknowns  it seems criminal that the film was released direct to video in most countries  because its an absolute mustsee for scifi fans and a treat for anyone who enjoys decently acted and written thrillers with a kooky bent  the plot in brief  paul johnson  michael york  is an alien posing as an eccentric millionaire who  though needing to kill people to live  is visiting earth for far from selfish reasons  his race is dying of a mysterious blood disease and he desperately is trying to find a cure  the key of which lies in the blood of humans  he visits and soon puts under his spell the respected blood physician dr  rochelle  whom he hypnotises into doing secret research on his behalf  he also has the doctor convince smart and sexy nurse amanda  elizabeth barondes  to move in with johnson as his private nurse so as to give him the blood transfusions which he constantly requires  but before long  amanda and johnsons sleazy chauffeur release that johnson is a lot more than just eccentric  i must admit  my first glimpse of the video cover for not of this earth was not encouraging  british actor michael york has appeared in some real stinkers in past few decades  a far cry from the quality fare of his younger days such as caberat  1972   but his performance here as an alien in human disguise is nothing short of outstanding  the weird twitches and bizarre modes of speech  the dapper clothes and cool spectacles  the unexpected pathos which he invests in his character  york is by turns hilarious  menacing and tragic  this is a tourdeforce and quite simply the best performance ive seen from him  and while obviously made on a modest budget  the film boasts enormous strengths  the casting is spot on  the acting is terrific and the script is intelligent  witty and consistently engaging  cleverly updating the original  the balance of horror and humour is just about perfect  a marked contrast to the earlier remake from 1988  the film doesnt drag for a second of its 90 minute running time thanks to tight editing and the sure hand of littleknown director terrance h  winkless  and it doesnt matter one bit that the special effects are cheesy  this is schlock after all  even if it is high class schlock  in fact my only criticism of the film is that things get a tad weak towards the end  tighter direction could have given the climax more urgency and a few of the characters act rather illogically given their lifethreatening situation  but these are minor complaints  just see it  not of this earth is one of the biggest scifi surprises in years  and michael york  in one cool swoop youve made yourself a bmovie legend  dude  
pos	in 1998  director brett ratner and his stars  jackie chan and chris tucker  breathed new life into the buddyaction film genre with the crosscultural  rush hour   to the tune of about 250 million  you dont mess with success  so the team is back again  and better  in  rush hour 2   the combo of the terrific physical talents of chan and the nonstop motor mouth of tucker made for an ethnically unusual duet in  rush hour  that played well to audiences around the world  the formula worked so well  in fact  that the sequel was inevitable  im never thrilled with the idea of a followup to a successful original since they rarely meet the previously set expectations  surprisingly   rush hour 2  wastes no time getting down to business and turns out to be better than the flick that spawned it  the script  by jeff nathanson  utilizing the characters developed by ross lamanna in the first film   wastes no time getting to the point right from the start  terrorists have bombed the us embassy in hong kong  killing two american translators  and chief inspector lee  jackie chan  is handed the job of solving the crime  concurrently  his friend james carter  chris tucker  arrives on the island for some much needed rr and expects his friend to spend some time and show him the sights  instead  lee drags carter into the case and the duo get involved in stopping a conspiracy to counterfeit hundreds of million of us dollars  the makers of  rush hour 2  are working at a distinct advantage over the original  we  the viewer  are familiar with the two lead characters and the alreadyexisting chemistry that chan and tucker developed so well the first time around  that chemistry was a high point  and probably the saving point  before and  now  the pair wears their friendship like a comfortable suit  little time is wasted in getting to know the key players so the screenplay capitalizes on those things we liked best in  rush hour   first and foremost to me  in  rh2   is the immense pleasure in watching jackie chans artistry in fight choreography  the 47year old martial arts master has a renowned reputation for doing all of his own stunt work and  here  he does not disappoint  chans use of props when battling bad guys continues as he pulverizes his opponents with whatever item comes to hand  such as a trash bucket  his moves look every bit as good as they ever did as he fights four or five nemesis at once on bamboo scaffolding  on the tail end of a yacht  in a hong kong massage parlor and  for the finale  in a las vegas casino  like harold lloyd or buster keaton  chan takes pride in putting his physical self on the line in pursuit of his artistry and is a joy to watch  chris tucker reprises his role as the motor mouthed la cop  carter  who teams  again  with lee to put down the bad guys  when he is unceremoniously pulled from his vacation to help his colleague and friend with the big case  he still looks to have some fun  when lee goes into a karaoke bar  the lair of chief bad guy ricky tan  john lone  and his hoods  carter takes the spotlight on stage with a credible michael jackson riff  the comedian made the move from the improv stage to the big screen and  with jackie chan  has a franchise to hang his coat on to pay the bills  the combo of chans flying feet and fists with tuckers fast mouth make a duet more endearing than riggs and murtaugh in the  lethal weapon  films  the supporting cast is here to move things along efficiently  john lone  as ricky tan  is a suave villain who is the real power behind the throne of american bigwig steven reign  alan king in a walk through performance   lone doesnt chew scenery or make pronouncements to  get lee and carter   but gives the chief bad guy elegance  zhang ziyi   crouching tiger  hidden dragon   continues to display her martial arts skills as rickys taciturn henchlady  hu li  who carries on an ongoing battle with carter   carter has a problem  through most of the film  with hitting a woman  but this falls aside with their eventual oneonone melee at the conclusion   roselyn sanchez is knockdown gorgeous  and resembles sandra bullock  as undercover agent isabella molina  she doesnt add much to the equation but is terrific to watch  director ratner and the original  rush hour  production team have assembled a crew of skilled craftsmen to work behind the camera  cinematographer matthew f  leonetti has had a long career of shooting action flicks and gives  rh2  the fluid camera movement the genre film needs  production design by terrence marsh spans continents and gives the right look  whether it is in a hong kong karaoke bar or a high stakes las vegas casino  the rest of the techs are of the same high quality  im surprised to even say that  rush hour 2  is the most entertaining of the summer blockbuster movies  it takes the best of the first film and kicks jurassic dino butt in its fun  frolic and fast pace and is the best mainstream thing out  so far  this summer  i give it a b  
pos	shakespeare  you hardly understood it in high school  why would you want more of it now that your english grade doesnt count on it  if this is your attitude  then ill say right off the bat that kenneth branaghs hamlet is probably not for you  and you might as well stop reading right now  if  however  you are a lover of the bard  or at the very least are openminded about a challenging script  read on  for there is something rotten in the state of denmark  namely  the king has died  and his widow the queen has wed the kings brother  claudius  but prince hamlet suspects foul play  his suspicions are confirmed when the ghost of his father appears and relates the story of his murder at his own brothers hands  hamlet  enlisting the help of his friend horatio  conspires to capture the conscience of the new king to expose his treachery     and the game is afoot     the first things you notice about this production are the sets and costumes  with external scenes filmed at blemheim palace in england  also the one of the sites for the recent the avengers   the grandiose quality of the setting is immediately established  interior scenes are similarly graced with intricate and flamboyant rooms and chambers  the hamlet castles grand throne room is an impressive piece of work incorporating high ceilings  mirrorpanel doors  and bridges which connect opposite sides of a secondstory loft  costuming is equally grand  drawing upon both history and imagination   not quite the denmark of the 1600s  the characters attire is something of a cross between that era and turn of the century russia  very effectively giving the film more of a timeless feel  it is not surprising that tim harvey and alexandra byrne were nominated for best art direction and best costume design oscars  respectively  in addition to directing  kenneth branagh also plays the title character  as the revengedriven royal heir  branagh provides a riveting performance of emotional highs and lows  from the anticipation of seeing his fathers ghost  to the melancholy of finding the burial site of his childhood jester  to his eventual wrath  branagh delivers in spades  every scene truly revolves around hamlet  as much a tribute to branaghs acting and directing as to shakespeares manuscript  hamlet seems to be a whos who of shakespeareantrained actors  so watching them perform the craft for which they have much love is a delight in itself  julie christie  as hamlets mother gertrude  and derek jacobi as his murderous uncle claudius both fill the classic roles superbly  as do many of the supporting players  kate winslet as hamlets lover ophelia  does an outstanding job demonstrating the characters plummet to the depths of dispair and madness  richard briers as ophelias father  polonius  and michael moloney as her brother  laertes  are equally convincing  nicholas farrell as hamlets trusted friend horatio  and timothy spall and reece dinsdale as the twotiming rosencrantz and guildenstern round out the excellent core cast  hamlet also seems to be a film in which someone tried to stuff as many well known actors as possible  in some cases  this made for interesting scenes  billy crystal is surprisingly good as the gravedigger who unearths the skull of yorick  whom hamlet knew quite well  crystal proves himself able to deliver the lines with both the timing of a classic actor and the verbal countenance of a comedian  and the result is a very funny scene  however  charleton heston  whom many might think would butcher shakespeare  is the biggest surprise of all  as the player king  the leader of a troupe of traveling actors  he is absolutely breathtaking when narrating the story of priam and hecuba  part of his monologue is overlaid with a visual enactment of the story  with sir john gielgud and judi dench   but this is most unfortunate  for it robs heston of some of the attention which he deserves at this time  his offcamera speaking  while gripping  sort of downplays the scene to a narration done by any other wellvoiced actor  i wish branagh had chosen to allow us to envision in our own minds the scene which heston lays out  and let the venerable actor have the attention  unfortunately  there were some casting choices which led to poor distractions  jack lemmon  an excellent actor  just cant do shakespeare  as marcellus  the guard who sees the elder hamlets ghost  lemmon sadly underperforms and is shown up left and right by those around him  gerard depardieu  another talented actor  is wasted when given little more than the utterances of  yes  my lord  and  no  my lord  in the role of reynaldo  richard attenborough has a  literally  walkon role  showing up at the eleventh hour as the english ambassador  i think he had two lines  then there is rufus sewell as fortinbras of norway  when i went to see dangerous beauty earlier this year  two ladies behind me kept commenting about how handsome he was  if bulging eyes are your idea of handsome  well i guess comic actor marty feldman was some kind of sex symbol to you  hamlet is a complicated tale of treachery and revenge in which triumph and defeat become one  branagh attempts to help us out with some of the intricacies by visually representing some of the more elusive stretches of dialogue by presenting them as flashbacktype images  this only works about half the time  and i wonder if it would have been just as well to do without them  you dont have to be some kind of genius to appreciate shakespeare  but it is quite difficult to understand unless you have the time to read or hear it carefully and repeatedly  the alternate method of comprehension is that with which most of us are familiar  the high school english course  in it  you are hopefully fortunate enough to have an educator willing to help you with the plot points and nuances essential to understanding a play written in the rigmarole known as the kings english  or i suppose you could just read the cliff notes  
pos	the year is 1962 and the military is conducting nuclear testings  involved in these tests is hank marshall  jones   an army colonel who is critical of the aboveground tests that are being done  he urges belowground tests which no one will consider at the time until it is learned that the soviets have conducted underground tests of their own  marshall is also troubled by a turbulent marriage to carly  lange  who is topless on the bases beach in full view of the entire personnel  hanks reaction is one of amusement  hes been here before and he deals with it in the only way he knows how  the problem is carly is a manicdepressive and when she isnt flirting with any man who happens to be near her  shes fantasizing about a fictious world where shed rather be  typical of the mental illness  she also is promiscuous and foultempered  the mood swings are quick and violent and the torment she puts her husband and their two daughters is considerable  from hanks reports which state his opposition to the armys methods of testing  he is transferred from hawaii to alabama  carly patterns herself after movie stars and tries to become marilyn monroe  bleachblond and all  the new home in alabama is pretty rundown and depressing and sets carly off on a violent tantrum  after meeting his new commanding officer  booth   hank sees an all too familiar pattern begin to repeat  carly openly flirts with the co  hank tries to deal with the situation  but his only resort is to carry her off and throw her into a nearby pool  arguments ensue  the family becomes even more alienated  the co is very interested in pursuing an encounter with carly and sends hank off to observe an underground test which causes the irradiation of two local ranchers  much to the vocal objections of hank  who spots them but is unable to cancel the detonation of the bomb  back at home  the two girls try to hold things together but they wonder why their father cant deal with their mothers problems  one daughter says   hes blind and shes crazy   the other answers   theyre perfect for each other   it reaches the breaking point when the older girl  locane  and a boy  the cos son  odonnell  see her mother and the co making love in an abandoned shed  she forces her mother to tell hank and get it all out into the open  hank returns home and finds his wife in the middle of a musical put on by the military wives  including the cos wife  snodgress   he confronts the c  o  but not about carly  he is upset over the coverup surrounding the accident during the testing  a fight breaks out between the two when the co accuses hank of not being able to satisfy his wife  hank is arrested  what follows is manipulation and revenge on the part of the co  he convinces carly to commit hank to a hospital for observation  instead  they fill him with so many drugs that he can barely cope  he foams at the mouth and cannot even finish sewing a leather wallet as presents for his daughters  carly is determined to free her husband from the clutches of the army and succeeds in doing so only by being the strong one in the family for the first time  the film has an upbeat ending with hope that the family has found a way to deal with its problems  the performances are solid throughout  jones is sympathetic and loving and is most effective in those quiet moments when he tries to deal with his wifes rage  he comforts her and offers protection  lange gives a strong and spirited portrayal of a woman on the edge who draws up the courage to try and put things right for her family  amy locane is very good as she fights to keep her family together while struggling with her own doubts as to whether she even should  blue sky is based on the story of the stagner family  the screenplay was written by rama laurie stagner  with arlene sarner and jerry leichtling   the film marks the final work of tony richardson who died shortly after its completion in 1991  he had made such classics as look back in anger  1958  and tom jones  1963   orion pictures underwent bankruptcy and caused the film to sit on a shelf for three years  the film joins an alread promising fall lineup of films and is well worth catching for the performances alone  
pos	the happy bastards 30second review  american pie the summer of raunch continues to spread into theatres with this latest yuk fest  filled with sick jokes and teen dialogue aplenty  if you go expecting dawsons creek  youre in for a problem  if your expectations are lower  and better  i might add   you will enjoy the hell out of american pie  the movie casts several unknowns  with the only real recognizable one being sctvs own eugene levy as a happygolucky dad  the story revolves around four high school seniors who have one goal before the school year gets out get laid  thats pretty much it  throughout the movie  little sick comic bits are sprinkled throughout  including a memorable scene involving an apple pie  i wont give it away  but you probably know what it is  and an internet broadcast gone horribly awry  of course  the movie has some slightly sentimental bits  but they dont drag the movies humor content down that bad  most of the actors get their job done  but its levy whos a hoot  a father who tries to talk sex with his son with the help of some curious  visual aids   i couldnt stop laughing during this movie  and if you can stand all the raunch and the sex references  then american pie is for you  if youre one of those  conservative  types  well  ill bet youre having fun at home while this  south park  and austin powers ii plays in theatres  now arent you  
pos	in brief   this film needs no introduction  if you havent heard of it  then you must have been up in space on a sabbatical  and if you havent seen it  well  i suspect youre in a small minority  first things first  is it all its hyped up to be  well  yes  and no  its a good film  and theres a lot to like about it  but its not without its problems  when i saw the first trailer for  titanic   it was when i went to see  bean  last summer  i think  my intial reaction was  aint that downright sick to make a disaster movie out of such a dreadful  reallife tragedy   i mean  whats happened to hollywoods scriptwriters  have they run entirely out of new ideas  gads  whatever next  i asked myself  how about an action film based on hiroshima starring jean claude van damme  i was not entirely filled with anticipation  but then i wasnt alone in that respect  its when it came out in the cinema  to rave reviews  well  mostly  and anyone whod been to see it seemed disturbingly obsessed by it that i started to take notice  i didnt see the film until several months after its release  by which time my sister had seen it about four times    so i went with a slightly more open mind  but i still didnt think id enjoy it much  did i  yes and no  mainly yes  im happy to say  the first hour or so was beautifully done  not so much because of the scripting  ill talk about that later   but because the recreated ship and sets were stunning to look at  as was camerons directing  and the performances of the principal cast were so strong that the  human  aspect of the story  the romance between rose  kate winslet  and jack  leonardo dicaprio   was enchanting  the film is told via flashback  with gloria stuart playing the elderly rose in the modern day  you knew that  a course       well  its an often effective device to use in storytelling  though sometimes it can fall flat  does it work here  in script form it doesnt add all that much to the story  what does add a lot to the story is gloria stuart  whose stunning performance is the strongest  most moving of the film  her presence brings a much deeper level of passion  and depth to the story  and though her appearances are relatively brief  the film would have suffered without her  also impressive are dicaprio and winslet  who wholly succeed in rising above the often poor dialogue  and the bond they form is both heartfelt and moving  its an old story  you know  forbidden love ala romeo and juliet  but it works  and jacks  rescuing  rose  in both literal and figurative senses  and teaching her to live life for what counts was pointed and touching  in fact  i enjoyed the first half of the film a lot  largely because winslet and dicaprio bring such and charm  energy to the romance  its engaging  touching and very enjoyable  theres more than a tinge of poignancy to it as well  simply because you know its not going to be a happy ending  which leads us to the second half of the film  we all knew it was coming  im sure director cameron was looking forward with eager anticipation to it  because as hes stated in interviews  the real thrust of the story  for him  was the sinking  and the jackrose romance was a merely a manipulative plot device to get you emotionally into the film  i think that understates the importance of the romance  as i found it far more enjoyable than an hour of watching people die  the iceberg arrives  and the captain announces that titanic will have sunk in about an hour  and it is an hour  my goodness  we dont miss a second of that hour  gratuitous  well  perhaps not by todays standards  im sure theres been far worse produced under the banner of  entertainment  in other films  but i certainly wasnt prepared for how shocking and graphic the last hour or so would be  not that id expect the word  understatement  to be part of camerons vocabulary  he who brought us such  umm  vivid films as  terminator 2  and  aliens    is it overdone  i thought so  understatement can sometimes work wonders in conveying tragedy  no  no one expected a happy ending  but i didnt quite expect the horrendously shocking and powerful scenes we were bombarded throughout the films second half  still  whether it was overdone and heavyhanded or not  if it was the shockfactor cameron was after it worked  because i was shocked and moved  in fact i spent most of the last hour in tears  you really couldnt help but get emotionally involved  whether it was wishing someone would knock that dreadfully psychotic fiance of roses overboard or desperately hoping that rose would rescue jack  or that jack would rescue rose  or that they would both survive  perhaps the most harrowing scene was when the ship has sunk  and those that sunk along with the ship freeze to death on the water surface  the bit where rose lets go of jacks hand  while promising shell never let go in her heart was particularly heartwrenching  and the sight of rescue boats sailing amid the ocean of corpses was a pretty powerful image  to put no fine a point on it  i loved the ending  however  which was both moving and slightly uplifting following the horror of the past hour and a half  so  weve established that the film is powerful and moving  if the last hour was rather excessive  havent mentioned the script  plotwise its ok  though the jackrose relationship was beautifully developed  but ive a feeling thats to the actors credit if anything  as for the dialogue  well  titanic is set in 1912  its a period drama  but i saw very little indication of period in so far as the dialogue is concerned  did they really use phrases like  goddamn it   back in the turn of the century  i doubt it  would someone talk like this   do ya love the guy or what    i doubt it  is such dialogue as  i saw the iceberg  and i see it in your eyes now  not just a bit  clumsy  yes it is  a little more attention to dialogue would not have gone astray  and cameron himself is to blame  he wrote the script   stick with directing  dude  but its more than redeemed by the acting  with dicaprio and winslet on fine form  ably supported by a strong cast  star of the show was gloria stuart  though  why didnt she win that oscar   after all  they were throwing oscars at  titanic  left  right and centre  but gloria was perhaps the most deserving nominee  directingwise cameron does a spectacular job  like i said  his vision was a bit excessive  but at least he directed it well  i havent even mentioned james horners beautiful score  utterly heavenly  though when your dad and sister play the soundtrack a lot you do start to get a bit bored with it     ive finished my rant  which lasted a lot longer than i thought it would  just leaves a couple of questions  was it worth all those oscars  hell  dont talk to me about oscars  bloomin farce  it was deserving in a number of departments  though  last question  is it  as some suggest  one of the best films of alltime  nope  i dont think so  its certainly one of the most powerful and memorable films ive ever seen  but i dont think it quite ranks as one of my alltime favourites  and as for the fact theyre reportedly making a  titanic 2   well i guess thats typical hollywood for you  
pos	in some respects  rush hour is the ultimate exercise in cliched filmmaking  the hero is the renegade cop that prefers to work alone  the cop in question cannot solve the case until he gets in trouble  all chinese people are somehow involved in the criminal element  the duo must always be completely mismatched  the hero has to say some smartassed comment before  and after  shooting someone  however  that doesnt necessarily make for a bad film  rush hour is jackie chans first major hollywood film since the dismal the protector  1985   proving once again that hollywood can learn many things from foreign film markets  ie  hong kong   jackie chan is given much more free reign than before  still  some diehard jackie chan fans may be disappointed  as even chan himself has voiced displeasure over the length of the fight scenes  which he views as too short  according to one interview   this film takes a familiar theme of east meets west  jackie chan is lee  the straight laced inspector who is imported to help deal with a kidnapping case  while chris tucker is carter  the loudmouthed  destructive cop that is promoted to the fbi to help him  or  at least  so he thinks  also another classic notion in action films  the fbi must always get in the way of our heroes   despite the necessary conventions of action films  rush hour is some of the most fun youll spend and hour and forty minutes watching  jackie chan continues to be one of the most exciting martial artists on the big screen  continuing to perform his own stunts and dazzling audiences with his flashy kicks and punches  chris tucker  familiar from his whiny  annoying role in the fifth element is more palatable  complementing jackie chans straightlaced character  however  jackie chan still maintains his comicslapstick edge  as expected of him and his films  perfectly downplaying the fishoutofwater routine through his characters attempts at mixing into american culture  he makes up for the down time his character experiences  when he is in action  however  youll be amused and dazzled  still being inventive in the use of objects to beat people up  in this case  a steering wheel  a serving tray  and a barstool   jackie chan proves to be the pioneer of slapstick kung fu  chris tuckers character may come across as irritating  yet is also humorous  since hes not a physical actor to the level of jackie chan  he uses his main weapon  his mouth  hence  the tagline  fastest hands in the east meets the fastest mouth in the west   while dialogue is not necessarily shakespeare  it is appropriate for the film and still very funny  while not necessarily poignant  attempts at character development and growth between characters come off surprisingly well  lees knowledge of american pop culture  thats the beach boys    when contrasted against carters lack of knowledge of chinese culture makes for an interesting scene where lee teaches carter the kung fu disarming trick  while carter teaches lee hiphop dance moves  while rush hour is not at the same level as police story 3 and 4  known in north america as supercop and jackie chans first strike  respectively   it more than makes up for the poorly received films operation condor and mr  nice guy  with its appropriate mixture of high kicks and lots of laughs  it makes for a fun film  as well  it is a true departure from jackie chan films  as it is missing one common element  a whiny female costar  
pos	my fellow americans is a movie that at first glance looks to have little substance  or a movie that weve all seen a million times   two lifetime rivals thrown together and then the fun begins  this is exactly what happened in this movie  but fortunately  they managed to do it in an interesting and funny way  the movie starts with a quick  and i do mean quick  glance of two presidents russell kramer  jack lemmon  and matt douglas  james garner   william haney  dan aykroyd  and ted matthews  john heard  are the new president and vice president  there is a scandal that arises involving a kickback from a contractor and haney is positive that he buried that years ago  he finds a scapegoat in kramer and now everyone wants kramer and douglas dead  this movie was exceptional for many reasons  one being that they found people  lemmon and garner  that have good chemisty together  they worked very well as a unit and they mirrored each other perfectly  one being a ladies man and one being the old man  ill let you fiqure which is which   also  they found people that know their parts as govenment officials well  it seemed to me that garner played almost exactly the same role that he played in the distinquished gentleman  except then he was a congressman   experience counts for a lot   
pos	in   the muse  albert brooks plays steven phillips  a hollywood screenwriter who after winning a humanitarian award for his work is dumped by his studio  they claim that hes lost his edge and his agent is quick to agree with them  he knows that he needs to write something fresh and original and quick or else his career will be over  so he turns to his  best  friend  jack  jeff bridges  another screenwriter whos enjoyed success after success  on the way over to jacks house steven sees jack helping an attractive woman  sharon stone  into a cab and begins to think  is he having an affair  when confronted  jack relunctently tells him that this mystery woman is  in fact  a muse  a mythological figure who is believed to have inspired all creativity  and has helped him garner his success   she doesnt do any actual writing   he is told   but inspires you   steven is excited by what hes hearing and asks jack to call her up to see if shell take steven on as a new client  jack arranges a meeting between the two and suggests that steven bring her a present  preferably something from tiffanys  after the meeting the muse  sarah decides to take on steven  but at a price  she wants a suite at the four seasons and wants steven to perform odd tasks for her  like bringing her salads in the middle of the night   stevens wife  andy macdowell  sees him at a food store and questions him about why he has tampons in his wagon  steven confesses everything and  although at first suspicious  she later allows sarah to move into their guest room and eventually into their life  the only question for steven is if the muse is worth all the trouble hes going through for her  and thats a question only time will tell   the muse  is albert brooks sixth film as writerdirectoractor  he cowrote with monica johnson  and although its a good movie its not up to the level of his best works   defending your life  and  mother    the problem lies in the script  and for a movie that relies on its dialogue for its humor  there arent nearly as many laughs as they are chuckles despite a few good oneliners  it has a great premise but doesnt deliver up to its full potential  but  i like albert brooks in this film and i think that we can all identify with steven phillips a little bit  he may whine and complain  but he just wants to support his family and be happy  and i like sharon stone in this movie too  its a nice change of pace for her  and i also enjoyed the cameos featuring the likes of rob reiner  james cameron and martin scorsese  and although  the muse  doesnt have as much to say about hollywood as robert altmans  the player  i still left the theater feeling good  and thats something i wish i got out of more movies  
pos	plot  good ol texan kid suddenly gets to play firststring quarterback on his high school teams football team  in a town where football is considered religion  the coach is just about the biggest ahole youd ever want to meet  who will do practically anything to win  the good ol texan boy does not approve of said mans methods  critique  a fun football movie  this film was obviously geared towards the teen market  with mtv behind its production  a big tv star actor in the lead role  rockin hip music galore  and plenty of ta  having said that  i enjoyed the look and feel of the movie  thought james van der beek gave a solid performance  loved the slick sounds  and yup  loved that ta  i actually thought this was a comedy going in  but overall  it plays more towards the dramatic  than a comedy  i also enjoyed jon voights performance as the stubborn dick coach  as well as many of the other character players on the team  this is not a classic film by any stretch of the imagination  but it might teach some kids the hard lessons behind the  fun  game of football  or just allow them to have a good time for about an hour and fortyfive minutes in the movie theatre  or in the comfort of their own home  depending on where you watch this stuff   all in all  i would definitely watch this movie if you like football  play football or want your kid to succeed in high school football  you could also watch it if you like teen flicks with a lot of cute guys and girls running around doing their stuff  and did i mention the ta    little known facts about this film and its stars  james van der beek actually started acting after a concussion stopped him from playing football in real life  he is the oldest of three children  and his father is a cellular phone salesman while his mom runs a gymnastics studio  hes born in connecticut and received 200  000 for his role in this film  actor scott caan  who plays football player  tweeder  in this film  is the son of famed actor james caan in real life  thats right  hes sonnys son  actress amy smart  who plays van der beeks girlfriend in this movie  also played the main stars girl in the 1999 film outside providence  6  510   screenwriter w  peter iliff also had a part in writing the screenplays for the 1992 harrison ford film  patriot games  and the keanu reeves surfing flick  point break  director brian robbins might be best remembered as the  cool dude  from the tv series  head of the class   his name was eric mandrian and he generally wore a long  black trench coat on the show  the book mox  james van der beek  is reading on the sidelines in this movie  hidden inside the teams playbook  is  slaughterhousefive  by kurt vonnegut  jr  the high school fight song played at the pep rally is the texas am war hymn  
pos	the film starts out with a creepy opening sequence to which has the now classic and creepy score by writerdirectorproducer john carpenter who in my mind is a brilliant director  he really is  he wrote this film  he directed this film  he produced this film and he made the excessively creepy score to this film  i think he is and always will be famous for this classic which after 21 years has not lost its popularity or its ability to scare the wits out of people  i think i have seen halloween over 100 times and each time i find something new and brilliant  and each time i am scared even though i know what is going to happen  i own three different versions of the film  a vhs regular version that came with a limited edition 20th anniversary tshirt  a boxed edition vhs in a hardcover case digitally remastered with the original theatrical widescreen presentation  in a nifty plastic picture decorated box with a numbered snowglobe  in other words i am completely and utterly obsessed with the film  it has changed horror movies forever and spawned six sequels with only 2  4  and 7 being truly good  it also spawned several cheap imitations of the film that were offensive in some ways to a true halloween fan  since i heard about halloween being released on dvd in a limited edition of 30  000 copies  i knew i had to buy one no matter what  i did and man to me its the best dvd ever manufactured with the brilliance of the film  no words can describe the dvd  in halloween michael myers is a evil person whom killed his sister in cold blood 16 years ago in 1963  now in 1978 grown up and in a mental hospital michael myers escapes to go back to his hometown of haddonfield  illinois  followed by his past doctor sam loomis  the person michael is targeting is laurie strode who is played by jamie lee curtis in her film debut  why is he stalking her  check out halloween ii it explains it all  on this unholy night on october 31  1978 laurie strode and her two friends are going to have the time of their lives  which is trying to stay alive  the whole film is filled with terrifying moments most coming from just seeing michael myers walk  nick castle who played the shape in the first movie did an incredible job  and no other person in any other halloween flick can do what he did  what john carpenter did in 1978 is made a groundbreaking new film  with scares  wit  and style  the movie is flawless if not perfect  no other movie or sequel has lived up to this one  and in my opinion never will  halloween will be like psycho and still be extremely popular even almost 40 years later  i just hope someday halloween will be released in a new dolby soundtrack with the 4 extra scenes on the dvd edition  halloween isnt just another sliceanddice horror flick  its an intelligent  horrifying and best film experience ever made  see halloween and be scared     then watch it again  reviewed by brandon herring october 7  1999  
pos	i have to admit that i disliked this film initially  it certianly isnt for every taste  and its sheer torture to sit through if youre in a restless mood  that said  if you are in the right mood  its absolutely incredible  this was my second favorite movie of 1998  and would have been a shooin for first in almost any other year  perhaps the big turnoff for many was this films unconventionality  id be hardpressed to compare it to any other film that ive seen  it is very  very artsy  incredibly slow  and amazingly  it works beautifully  on my second viewing  i realized that the film follows the three act structure  i didnt think it had any sort of structure at all when i first saw it   the first act serves to set up the characters  sort of  it exists even moreso to set a mood of tension and restlesness  and perhaps even feelings of boredom  and then it is shattered by the intense violence of the second  which encompasses most of the movie   the majority of the film is one extended battle scene  intercut with brief flashbacks and voiceovers  the artsier elements do not detract from the action  but add to it  they succeed in briefly letting the viewer peek into the minds of the soldiers  only to be suddenly yanked back into reality when the battle resumes  the battle scenes are amazing  second only to  saving private ryan  in my opinion   theyre brutal  horrifying  and at times beautiful due to the amazing cinematography  the second act is as immersive  brilliant  and haunting as any film that i have ever seen  the only problems come during the first and third acts  malick takes a little too long to get the film started  although the initial scenes  which consist of two soldiers experiencing a nearedenlike paradise while going awol  and the preperations for battle  are effective and necessary  hints of pretentiousness sink in  the film is just a tad too artsy near the beginning  and a lot of people that disliked the movie probably gave up on it because of this  the final act is effective at winding the film down  but the problems from the first persist  its a bit too long  and comes over as pretentious at times  that said  there are two sequences  one where a soldier gets a devastating note from his wife  and another where one of the main characters is killed  that are nothing short of incredible  the performances are phenominal all around  the two standouts are nick nolte and newcomer jim caviezel  both of whom should have been nominated for oscars  nolte is riveting and intense as the colonel in charge of the operation  his character is hard  mean  and somewhat reckless with the lives of his men  and yet nolte somehow manages to evoke sympathy for him  caviezel is forever questioning the nature of war  his place in it  and if theres any deeper meaning to the hell that hes going through  he is absolutely perfect  genuine  sympathetic  sincere  and yet strong when he needs to be  although restricted to a relatively small role  sean penn is also very good as the companys pessimistic seargent  as to how it stacks up to  saving private ryan   it was my second favorite movie of 1998   ryan  was my first  its really hard to compare the two  they are so  so different  so i wont  beyond saying that spielbergs film had more of an impact on me  however  the two are comparable from the standpoint of quality  i can easily see why someone would  the thin red line  above  ryan   i highly recommend both of them  and consider them to be the two best war movies ever made  all in all   the thin red line  is filmmaking of an incredibly high order  its slight faults are easily offset by the sheer brilliance of what is done right  its a real shame that it tanked at the box office  films this unconventional  powerful  and thoughtprovoking dont come along very often  
pos	it was a rainy friday afternoon in columbus when i persuaded a friend to see a matinee performance of mst3k  tm  he had never seen any episodes of the show  and i have watched a scant few  due to its unsocial airtime on comedy central and the uneven nature of many of the episodes  for those of you not familiar with the premise  dr clayton forrester  beaulieu  wishes to take over the world by finding the worst film ever made and unleashing it upon an unsuspecting public  to achieve this  he  in the words of the tv series theme  which is missing in the movie   bumped mike nelson  nelson   on the noggin and then shot him into space   and is monitoring nelsons reactions to the movies he is forced to endure  rather than succumb to the sheer awfulness of many of the movies  nelson spends his time making wisecracks with the help of his two robot companions  tom servo and crow t  robot  the format of the show consists of nelson  servo and crow making their comments while silhouetted against the movie being watched  and breaks every 20 minutes or so for segments set on the satellite of love  the ship on which our heroes are marooned  only two things are different in the movie  the absence of forresters sidekick  tvs frank  and the slower pace of the jokes  this latter change is presumably deliberate to avoid the viewing audience missing some of the best lines while laughing from the previous joke  for their big screen outing  the producers have chosen  this island earth   a 1954 classic  and one of the first sf films to have a special effects budget larger than the average grocery bill  unfortunately for that film  but making it ideal mst3k fodder   acting and dialogue appear to have taken a back seat to the effects which  by todays standards  are less than impressive  nelson  co  make jokes about everything from japans dominance in the world market  to star trek  to the state of disrepair of seattles kingdome  and most of them work  unfortunately  the segments set outside the satellites movie theater seem out of place and arent particularly funny  but at least theyre fairly short  the big question about this movie though is  why  i presume it was an attempt to gain a larger following to keep support behind the series  rumours of its impending demise circulated for some time before the plug was eventually pulled a few months ago   but the format gains nothing from its transition to the big screen  there are no special effects to dazzle you  no action sequences to keep you on the edge of your seat  and no use of digital surround sound  so  it seems pointless to spend 8 per person to see this movie when in a few months it will be out on video and you can watch it for 3  and not have to sit in a room full of popcorn addicts  nevertheless  mst3k  tm provides more laughoutloud opportunities than any film youre going to see this year  and i thoroughly recommend it to anyone with a pulse  given its uniqueness  i hesitate to grade it against other films  but it fulfils its claims and so in the class of  unsubtle comedy films whose laughs come at the expense of bad bmovies  it does well  
pos	the uncompromising nudity bared throughout petrice chereaus intimacy has already garnered much notoriety  but its in the naked faces of fearless actors mark rylance  angels  insects  and kerry fox  welcome to sarajevo  that the tender ache of emotional resonance is discovered  with sharp  intelligent eyes that reflect experience and maturity  rylance and fox are refreshingly detached from the false glamour of hollywood idols  their sex scenes together are bracing in their raw honesty  in the acceptance of flesh and messiness  less apparent  but no less remarkable  are the astute observations of behavior revealed through those carnal beats of haste and hesitance  often without a single line of dialogue  not aiming for the spiritual poetry of in the realm of the senses or the philosophical transgressions of crash  chereau keeps his sexual odyssey firmly grounded in terms of straightforward character development  that may be the very reason why intimacy seems unerringly impressive but never particularly significant on more than a tactile  sensory level  the themes of human isolation are barren and obvious  a science project devoid of any especially groundbreaking hypothesis  intimacy does manage to stand out from lesser portraits of  human interconnectedness  and pinteresque rummages through psychological dirty drawers  okay  kill me   shallow though it might sound  its amazing how much is filled in through an inspired cast  perceptive camerawork  and imaginative ways of treating the love scene  those ingredients are too assured and confident to merely dismiss as icing on the cake  especially since they are the substance of the cake itself  adapted from a pair of short stories by british novelist hanif kureishi  intimacy weaves desperate lovemaking between two strangers in london  every wednesday  jay  rylance  and claire  fox  meet in his cluttered  dank apartment for an hour or two of sexual release from their uninspired lives  hes been head bartender at a posh restaurant for over six years  shes a mystery to him but her glum workaday appearance reveals a similar dissatisfaction  theyre both married  but his relationship has curdled into an embittered separation  as the weeks draw on  jay obsessively takes it upon himself to uncover claires personal routines  in his attempt to gain a fuller semblance of who she is  he opens wounds that hadnt existed before by singlehandedly corrupting the fantasy  if it werent for a few unnecessary subplots involving jays brother and his bevy of disgruntled coworkers  this minimalist premise might be described as a modern fable on the perils of wish fulfillment  chareaus restless camera  once again wielded by superb and everattentive cinematographer eric gautier  is less appropriate here than in his family transitoriented those who love me can take the train  the scenes that linger are the still ones where rylance and fox separately  pensively attempt to carry on with their makeshift household routines  these are often captured in lingering  unblinking wide shots that view them stranded amidst their drab workplaces and homes  separation proves haunting in a melancholy series of intercut shots as rylance and fox undress on opposite sides of the room  crawling across the floor to meet in the center  despite being as restless as a fly during the hyperactive restaurant scenes  all the better to blend in with a hustling crowd of gabby trendsetters   youd be hard pressed to find a single uninteresting image  intimacy takes an interest in its sordid world of the lowermiddle class  with lonely pubs and busy shopping streets  it also understands the people who inhabit those spaces  viewing them with sympathy scraped raw  an evaluation would be incomplete without highlighting the great timothy spall  the robust scenestealer of many a mike leigh collaboration   as claires cuckolded husband  this jocular heavyweight plays out his handful of bitter pill scenes with the unforced menace and selfeffacing embarrassment of his imposing bulk  bangs in his eyes  his mouth forming into quizzical pouts and dry smirks  he may seem the fool in his barroom encounters opposite a sarcastic  gleaming mark rylance  whose jay has arrived on the scene looking to stir up some trouble   but spall is no one to trifle with  his overreaching best pal demeanor suggests a mind abuzz with secret passageways of guile  his pointed questions only na  ve if you choose not to read into their crafty insinuations  in his unassuming way  spalls carefully etched interpretation of hostility buried under a mountain of surface propriety may become one of the most criminally underappreciated performances of the year  but maybe also one of the best  hes that good  
pos	george little  jonathan lipnicki  wants a little brother  after mr  and mrs  little  hugh laurie and geena davis  visit the orphange  they decide to adopt stuart  a talking mouse  voiced by michael j  fox   george isnt so fond of his new brother when stuart arrives at the little house  and neither is snowbell the family cat  voiced by nathan lane   george and stuart eventually bond while preparing for a remote control boat race  but snowbell wants stuart out of the house  hes unable to live with the taunts of other neighborhood felines saying its ridiculous that a mouse has a pet cat   stuart little is a mix of live action and computer generated imagery  cgi   the character of stuart  while obviously a computer generated image  grows on you as the film progresses and youll soon see him as much more than a mere special effect  there is also a great deal of animal training involved with this film  as many of the  supporting cast  are actual cats  with computer animated mouths so they can speak   its fascinating to watch these cats give performances without an actual mouse to interact with  stuart little is a charming family film  there are some great laughs in the movie  with a script cowritten by the sixth senses m  night shyamalan no less    some moments that can only be described as  too cute   the boat race sequence is what won me over  and even the majority of the oneliners  common nowadays in childrens films or films featuring nathan lane  are tolerable  kids and parents will love this one  stuart little is available on dvd from columbia tristar home video  there are two different dvds on sale  one contains the film in full frame  and the other presents the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  66  1  both versions feature choices of either dolby surround or dolby digital 5  1 audio  both versions also contain the following extras  and hang in there with me here    theres a lot of them   a full length audio commentary track by director rob minkoff and animation supervisor henry anderson  a full length audio commentary track by the visual effects supervisors  an isolated score track  an interactive trivia game  an interactive featurette that goes step by step through eight of the effects in the film  a making of documentary that originally aried on hbo  and a stuart little readalong story  which you can read yourself or have stuart read for you   there are also three music videos  and six theatrical trailers  called thecatrical trailers    get it  its funny   for stuart little and five other columbia tristar releases  the adventures of elmo in grouchland  madeline  the nuttiest nutcracker  muppets from space  and baby geniuses  the only bad thing about this entire dvd    i did not want to be reminded of the awfulness that is baby geniuses   dvdrom features are also on the disc  including web links and a demo of the stuart little cdrom game  but wait    theres still more  theres a section called  basement treasures  where you will find the auditions of the films animators  six deleted scenes which you can select to view with or without commentary from the director  a visual effects gag reel  a production gag reel  and an incredible eight minute storyboard sequence detailing the original concept for the boat race scene  with commentary from the director   the first commentary track features director rob minkoff and animation supervisor henry anderson  they give insightful and detailed thoughts about the films production  minkoff likes to point out scenes where other screenwriters came in and polished up the script  namely writers like scott alexander and larry karaszewski  who wrote the people vs  larry flynt and ed wood  and lowell ganz and babaloo mandel  who wrote splash and multiplicity  among others   anderson is very appreciative of the animators who worked with him and often points out which animator worked on each scene as they occur  the second commentary track features visual effects supervisors john dykstra and jerome chen who discuss more specific details of the effects in the film  movie fans will enjoy the informative first commentary track  serious animation buffs will love the second one  now i know this is slightly off topic  but it is related specifically to this dvd so i must voice this now  one of the music videos on the disc is for a song called  i need to know  by a group called r angels  this video features four midteenage girls  the singers obviously  having a slumber party  the girls ask a ouija board  i need to know    who to do  who to do  who to do  as the song begins  they then sneak out of their house  and along the way they strike a pose and their slumber party pajamas are magically transformed into middle class streetwalker outfits  then they head to a party and dance suggestively with the guys while singing lyrics like  ill be your pleasure all the time    just say the words that youll be mine   um    what the hell  what does this have to do with stuart little  how is this in any way a song suitable for a kids movie  let alone a video suitable for a kids movie on dvd  when the video concludes  the words  to be continued  appear  oh i cant wait to see who theyve slept with when the toy story 2 dvd comes out  kids wont care about most of the special features on this dvd  but those of us who can sometimes be turned into a  kid at heart  thanks to a winning family film sure appreciate them  this is the way to do dvd  a good movie loaded with great features at a reasonable cost  the diney people could learn a lot from columbia tristar  
pos	countries and legal systems that take the rule of law principle seriously  had forbidden judges and juries to make judgements in all matters that could involve them personally  luckily  movie reviewers arent burdened with such legislation  otherwise  small pool of very special movies would be forever ignored by this reviewer  in case of star wars  1977 science fiction epic by george lucas  the consequences would be even more severe  because that film is very special for tens of millions  if not hundreds of millions of fans  in any case  objectivity is something seldom seen in star wars reviews  because undisputed majority of reviewers rate it as one of the best  if not the best film of all times  those who dont usually have some difficulties in hiding their artistic snobbery  the author of this review must also concede his inability to use cold  objective standards in reviewing this film  like so many previous reviewers  i must note that i watched star wars for the first time twenty years ago  and that i remained enchanted by the experience ever since  perhaps it was childlike fascination with  until then unimaginable  wonders that happened long time ago  in a galaxy far away  or perhaps it was the rush i felt minutes before the opening shots  with my expectations already pumped up by serialised comic books and novelisation i had read before  anyway  watching of star wars was one of the most important movie going experiences of my life  and it was also unmatched for many years to come  because very few movies managed to have such a strong impact on me like george lucas epic  star wars wasnt just important movie for me  or the millions of fans who probably share the same sentiment   it was the defining moment in the history of modern cinema  until than  american motion picture industry was in a limbo  social turmoil in 1960s practically destroyed the old hollywood  and new authors filled the void  mostly by using hollywoods financial and technical resources to create serious   personal  or  artsy  movies  as a result  audience  traumatised of dark reality of vietnam and watergate  didnt want to see the same dark and serious content on the silver screen  george lucas with its science fiction epic was among the first to come into rescue  the audience responded with unprecedented enthusiasm  and huge financial success of the movie  later backed by supplement industry of toys  books  comics  role playing games and other merchandise  slowly began to change the face of hollywood  serious  adult movies with artistic ambitions faded into oblivion  and were replaced by industrial products of  blockbuster  philosophy  one of the biggest casualties of that trend was the science fiction movie genre  until 1977  science fiction movies were mostly in bproduction domain  in late 1960s  bigger budgets for science fiction didnt look so strange anymore  thanks to the great success of 2001  a space odyssey  but the same success coincided with the surge of pesimism  and hollywood science fiction was as bleak as the rest of its production  mostly dark  dystopic movies  however  in 1977 star wars showed once and for all that this genre can be inspiration for popular movies  even among the audience that usually doesnt like it  as a result  seriousness in cinematic science fiction began fading away  although some good  dark and cult quality sf and continued to be filmed until early 1980s  after that  science fiction continued to be considered a synonym for family entertainment  ironically  the man responsible for star wars was in its time considered to be member of  new hollywood  generation of young movie authors who made  artsy  and  personal  films in early 1970s  george lucas established himself with the dystopic sf movie thx 1138  and nostalgic drama american graffiti  both movies were considered  personal  in its time  despite latter one becoming very popular  in a sense  star wars is an also very  personal  film  and the thorny way to the final production shows that commercial considerations were against it  not for it  but unlike many  personal  movies of the era  its  personality  was in line with the wishes of the general audience  the plot  set  a long time ago  in a galaxy far away   begins in a time of civil war  the evil empire is threatened by rebels who want to restore the old republic  in order to quash any opposition  the empire had built death star  superweapon powerful enough to destroy whole planets  the information about death star  acquired by rebel intelligence  is being transported by princess leia organa  carrie fisher  when her ship gets intercepted by imperial cruiser  princess is arrested by imperial warlord darth vader  played by david prowse and voice by james earl jones   but the information is being sent to nearby desert planet of tatooine via two humanoid robots  c3po  anthony daniels  and r2d2  kenny baker   those two robots are sold to the family of luke skywalker  mark hamill   young restless man who wants to leave his farm and become space pilot  his adventure begins when r2d2 escapes  because the information must reach mysterious local hermit obi wan kenobi  alec guiness   old man is actually the last surviving jedi knight  member of the ancient order that defended republic through the use of mystical force  after some hesitation  luke agrees to join obi wan in his mission to save the princess  while the old man would teach him the ways of the force  their small band comes to the colourful spaceport of moss eisely  where they hire the spaceship owned by rogue pilot han solo  harrison ford  and his furry sidekick chewbacca  peter mayhew   critics who dont like the movie  especially those who cant forgive lucas for his contribution to the quashing of  new hollywood   are prone to point the lack of originality  on the surface  they might be right  lucas himself admits that he found a lot of inspiration in the lore of old hollywood  westerns  wwii aviation movies  old sf cliffhanger serials of the 1930s and 1940s  yet the most obvious element would be akira kurosawas samurai classic the hidden fortress  on the other hand  those who had spent last two decades studying the movie to death would say that the inspiration for star wars went even further  into collective subconscious of western civilisation  hinted by some mild tolkien references   the others would find the authors element within the story  star wars could be seen as an anti establishment film  young  longhaired  easy going  natureloving heroes are fighting against old  uptight and oppressive forces who use supertechnology in most demonic purposes  even out of its historical or social context  star wars is an impressive as a strictly technical piece of the seven art  george lucas direction is very good  with the clever editing and a wellpaced segments between action and dramatic buildup  characters are welldrawn and deliver all the necessary ingredients  both for the space opera and hollywood blockbuster  we have a  comingofage  hero  damselindistress  somewhat toned down due to the popular feminist trends of the time   reluctant helper  benevolent mentor  diabolical villain and  finally  comic relief in form of two nonhuman characters  some of the actors are very good  alec guiness in his most famous role to date  james earl jones whose voice is enough to cause unease  peter cushing as an incarnation of pure evil in human form  unfortunately  the same cant be said for the main leads  among the main trio of mark hamill  carrie fisher and harrison ford  only the last one had the character threedimensional enough to launch his further acting career  the thing that looked like the most important segment of star wars phenomena during its initial release was the new level of special effects technology  often comparisons with 2001  space odyssey  another groundbreaking sf film  were citing the sheer number of effects as a proof of the lucas superiority over kubrick  however  the special effects by john dykstra and john stears are indeed impressive  even after two decades  although 1997 special edition did improve them significantly   yet they arent the most remembered trademark of the movie  that honour should definitely go to the  oscar  winning soundtrack by john williams  whose work on star wars is probably the brightest gem in his brilliant career  newer generations of viewers might be somewhat deprived of the enchantment that still holds those lucky enough to witness star wars original release  yet  even if they are immune to the george lucas magic they should watch this film nevertheless  perhaps only to become familiar with something that is essential part of contemporary culture  
pos	frequency n   the number of times a specified phenomenon occurs within a specified interval as the number of repetitions of a complete sequence of values of a periodic function per unit variation of an independent variable  etc dont worry  when watching the thriller frequency  you wont have to know what the heck frequency means  the premise  although it may sound complex  is very basic on the big screen  a new york cop  john   jim caviezel  finds a radio in his house  which allows him to communicate with his new york firefighter father  frank   dennis quaid  who died thirty years ago  immediately john warns his father that he will die trying to stop a fire in an abandoned warehouse  when frank takes his advice and survives the accident he wasnt supposed to  the two eventually realize that by changing that one moment in the past  they have created a whole new future in which a serial killer murders johns mother and nine other women  it is now up to john and frank to use their special connection and save thirty years ago to make present time a better place   i told you that wasnt confusing    overall  i was very pleased with frequency  its occasional sappy moments perfectly synchronized with its suspenseful serial killer scenes  i usually dont buy those cheesy  i love you dad  segments in movies  but this one surprisingly satisfied me  maybe because the plot is so creative and universal that i believed that this is how most people would act when talking to a dead relative  frequencys creepy premise left me thinking once the film ended  what if  what would i do  would i help my own family or save a historical figure from being assasinated  or stop some kids from shooting other kids  or buy stock from yahoo    a character in the film does the latter with humorous consequences   frequency also reminded me of the fantastic back to the future  both share that  change the past slightly  and youll change the future heavily  warning  the changes between the present and the past  such as different newspaper headlines or people disappearing and reappearing in photographs  are very similar  both are also wonderful feelgood family films that can attract to a number of generations  the only difference worth noting is that frequencys final scene doesnt set up a possibility for a lucrative sequel already in the making  there are some problems with the film though  first  there is a major flaw in the story towards the end that is somewhat distracting  email me if you have seen the movie and want to know what i think it is   the plot must have confused even the filmmakers who frequently  no pun intended  switch from 1969 to 1999 while telling the story  another problem is that the supporting cast  including noah emmerich and andre braugher  are underused  while in the film  which is not enough  the aforementioned actors steal every scene they are in  frequency was a pleasant surprise for me and the audience i saw it with who cheered at the end  even if you know what is going to happen or if you think the preview ruined the movie for you  like it almost did for me  check this movie out  you may be surprised as well  
pos	 psycho meets the exorcist with no holds barred   a blurb like that sounds like desperate publicity for some low budget  third rate ripoff  but no  this tacky plug comes from the poster for suspiria  perhaps italian horror director dario argentos most consistently successful film  what impresses most in rewatching this surrealistic  supernatural thriller is that argentos directorial flair and stylish visuals are matched by a nearfully coherent narrative  screenplays have always been his achilles heel  confusing subplots  gaping holes  totally illogical incidents and reactions  no question  argento has always been a better director than a writer  fortunately  he gets the plotting pretty well right with suspiria  taking his cue from a book by thomas de quincey called  suspiria de profundis   the films storyline suffers from no major lapses in logic  provided one can accept the premise of a ballet school being a front for a coven of witches  jessica harper plays an american who travels to germany to further her studies in dance  arriving at the school late at night in driving rain  she sees a girl leave and run into the storm in a clearly distressed state  what happens next  and i dont make the comparison lightly  is a murder sequence that for intensity  shock value and sheer directorial flair ranks alongside alfred hitchcocks infamous shower scene in psycho  its quite possibly a homage to hitchcock  but with its baroque sets  graphic gore and brilliantly chaotic musical accompaniment by the gothic rock group goblin  this stunning sequence remains very much argentos own  though nothing else quite equals the intensity of suspirias opening 15 minutes  the film continues to be never anything less than engrossing as harper begins her own investigations and slowly comes to realise this is no ordinary ballet school  we meet an assortment of slightly sinister characters  most notably the head ballet teacher played by alida valli in another one of those delicious souroldmatriarchfromhell roles she does so well  several more violent murders ensue  including a startling scene in a deserted square where a blind man is    well  i wouldnt want to spoil things now  would i  and the films climax  staged amid secret corridors and hidden rooms  has a gothic ghoulishness thats most impressive  the english language versions of most argento movies usually suffer trimming  and not just for the violence  deep red and phenomena  for example  have been appallingly hacked about  fortunately  the cuts to suspiria  about 7 minutes in this version  have not adversely affected the film  the dubbing of the italian actors into english is quite competently done  too  excepting one appalling and unintentionally hilarious effort with a conversation between harper and a professor about the history of witchcraft in the region  and the soundtrack  it is interesting to imagine what power the film would have lost if it had been scored by someone else  as it stands  the use of goblins music in suspiria is outstanding  apparently  argento played the soundtrack on location while filming so the actors could hear the music as they acted out their parts  a stereo video player adds greatly to the viewers overall experience  even better  see suspiria in a cinema  where youll get the added bonus of widescreen  and the colours  deep reds  eerie blues  a superb use of shadow and contrast  the cinematography of luciano tovoli  whose more recent credits include reversal of fortune and single white female  is uniformly superb  a nod also must go to production designer giuseppe bassan for his wonderful baroque interiors  these kinds of settings are crucial to the atmosphere of argentos more surreal excursions  the other most notable example being inferno  1980  on which bassan also worked  suspiria is the film that broke dario argento into the major league of european directors  and it is fully deserving of its cult status  the gore is at times a little excessive and overstated  thats always been one of argentos shortcomings  but overall this is a fascinating  compelling example of italian horror  
pos	jackie brown entered theaters with little fanfare and a lot of expectation  even though advance publicity on this one was fairly limited  the audiences waited for the showings with heightened anticipation  this is  after all  the first movie quentin tarantino has directed since the highly touted pulp fiction  to say he has been inactive in between would be to tell a falsehood  since he has been involved in such projects as destiny turns on the radio  desperado  four rooms  and from dusk til dawn  he was also called in at the last minute to help punch up the screenplay for crimson tide   im willing to wager the debate over which silver surfer is the only true silver surfer was penned by him   tarantino contributed on and off screen to these films  but never took the directors helm  nearly four years since gaining notoriety on the hollywood scene and making john travolta a star once more  tarantino returns with a film he can call his own  the film opens up with an homage to the graduate  with jackie brown  pam grier  on one of those airport people movers as the credits are displayed in front of her  jackie is a flight attendant for air cabo  which flies back and fourth between los angeles and cabo san lucas  this makes jackie a convenient cash courier for gun dealer ordell robbi  samuel l  jackson  who is currently keeping his money stashed in mexico  however  while bringing fifty thousand dollars back into the u  s  for ordell  jackie is apprehended by fbi agent mark dargus  michael bowen  and atf agent ray nicolet  michael keaton   who catch her not only with the money  but with a bonus of a couple of ounces of illicit drugs  jackie didnt know they were in the package with the cash  but thats of no consequence to the authorities  who threaten jackie with a couple of years hard time if convicted  of course  dargus and nicolet are just using the sentence to get jackie to turn over the big fish  ordell  ordell uses honest bail bondsman max cherry  robert forster  to get jackie out of jail  but while max is immediately attracted to her  jackie is more concerned about her immediate safety  since ordell killed the last one of his operatives who got picked up by the police  sure enough  ordell shows up at jackies apartment that evening and tries to silence jackie for good  but she  borrows  maxs pistol and manages to turn the tables on ordell  instead of closing the irony circle and relocating a bullet from the pistols chamber to ordells head  jackie proposes a deal  since ordell wants to get his money out of mexico  jackie will get back up to her old tricks and be a courier for him once more  but this time for a more substantial fee  fifteen percent of ordells half million dollars  with a gun in his face  how can ordell not agree  by itself  this premise might have been interesting enough to carry the film  however  we are also introduced to a number of double crosses which make us pay attention and think  jackie claims to be bringing the money in for ordell  but shes also making a deal with the feds as well as with max  the film throws us off every once in a while by leading us to believe the deal we thought was authentic is actually a sham  but it is in no way done to the extent that we feel jerked around  instead  its actually a nice departure from the predictability which is prevalent in so many of todays movies  at least this film has a little imagination  most of the performances in jackie brown are above par  pam grier  of whom i had never taken notice before  plays jackie with a mix of confidence and vulnerability which makes her character believable  samuel l  jackson has a kind of mesmerizing quality about him as he handles himself in situations where you know he is in total control  robert forster is thoroughly likable because he comes across as such an honest guy  trying to do his best   never mind that he belongs to a profession where sneaking into a guys apartment to zap him with a stun gun is simply a matter of course  hes just so downtoearth  the nature of his job really doesnt occur to us  even when were shown him bringing a handcuffed woman to prison  or when we see the tools of his trade  in supporting roles are robert de niro as louis gara  a recently paroled friend of ordells  and bridget fonda as melanie  one of the girls ordell keeps around town  unfortunately  de niro is basically wasted as his lines are few and far between  and then they are mostly clipped sentences  in this film  hes not really de niro  but stereotypical de niro  uttering things like   little bit   and  pretty much   fonda  on the other hand  plays the slightly spacedout melanie with satisfactory relish and cuteness  such that even when she is annoying louis  we are taking her side  as is characteristic of any film in which tarantino has had a hand  the dialog is quick and snappy  it grabs our attention and is actually interesting  and in many respects  this makes jackie brown a film which needs few visuals  the lines are a form of art in and amongst themselves  dont count tarantino out when it comes to using the camera  however  theres a scene where max is unwittingly watching a dry run of a money exchange  and hes not really sure whats happening  but by composing the scene just so  his realization of whats going on is felt simultaneously by the audience  we look at the screen and think   gee  thats clever   and then think the same thing about how the film induced us into that wonderful feeling of catching on  although tarantino isnt afraid to drag out a shot for dramatic effect  it unfortunately works to varying degrees in this film  there are shots where a character is simply driving  and we watch this person and somehow get an idea of what is going on in his or her head  this is a tribute to both direction and acting  however  there is at least one other scene where we follow jackie through a mall  and she is looking for something  desperately looking for something  we get the idea of the frantic nature of her search  but we follow her for so long that we end up not really caring about what shes looking for  but instead hoping shell just stop  overall  viewing jackie brown is time spent well  some flap has already been made about the language used in the film  but its really not much worse than many of the other movies out there today  in fact  one might even be able to say that the way in which these  offensive  words are employed almost cause them to parody themselves and therefore transcend their own offensiveness  go see the film and see what i mean  
pos	directed by  pixote hunt  hendel butoy  eric goldberg  james algar  francis glebas  gaetan  paul brizzi conducted by  james levine composed by  ludwig van beethoven  ottorino respighi  george gershwin  dmitri shostakovich  camille saintsaens  paul dukas  sir edward elgar  igor stravinsky rated  g scripture references  1 samuel 16  23  ephesians 5  19  1 chronicles 15  1516 in 1940  walt disney released a filmed experiment  fantasia was a blend of two art forms  classical music and animation  while it was not immediately popular with the audiences of its day  it has since become recognized as something of a classic  according to the program notes  it was mr  disneys intention to have fantasia be a continual work in progress  sixty years later  thanks to the ongoing efforts of walts nephew  a new fantasia is being released  it was not only worth the waiting  it is evidence to just how far animation has come during the past halfdecade  with seven new sequences and one old favorite  fantasia 2000 exhibits an imagination and respect for its art form that is absent from most other feature films  like the original  fantasia 2000 will more than likely bore the very young  although there is more narrative appeal in this newer version and the segments appear to be substantially shorter  perhaps a nod to the shorter attention span of the studios primary audience  ranging from the silly to the sublime  each segment is preceded by a short  humorous introduction or interstitial by a guest celebrity host  steve martin  bowfinger  being the first and most effective  these are quickly forgotten as conductor james levine leads the chicago symphony orchestra through the musical program which  along with the images drawn by the disney team of animators  is thoughtfully and beautifully brought to a stunning synthesis  fantasia 2000 is being released exclusively in the giantscreened imax theaters  making for a unique viewing experience  there is enough variety in the program to provide something enjoyable for everyone and surely  people will exit the theaters with their own personal favorites  for me  that would have to be the jazz age story of four unconnected and discontented people living in nyc who  unknowingly  help each other realize their dreams  drawn in the style of caricaturist al hirschfeld and inspired by george gershwins rhapsody in blue  the music and images are blended perfectly resulting in a product greater than the sum of its two parts  children will like the short piece set to carnival of the animals by camille saintsaens  here  a goofy looking flamingo irritates the rest of the flock with his yoyo playing antics  they will also giggle as donald duck  playing noahs assistant  tries to load the animals into the ark to the familiar strains of pomp and circumstance by sir edward elgar   while the depiction is not biblically accurate  it is entertaining and might be excuse enough to familiarize ourselves with the true record by reading what is written in genesis 7   a positive note is that the studio has avoided any segment which is as perversely dark as nihgt on bald mountain upon which the original film ended  there are some images based upon fantasy such as the flying whales in respighis pines of rome or images which have their roots in mythology such as the ethereal creatures which tell the story of natures cycle of life  death  and rebirth in igor stravinskys firebird suite  but the stories they tell are uplifting  containing nothing too frightening for our younger children  the darkest segment  spiritually speaking  actually belongs to the only holdover from the original fantasia  mickey mouse in the sorcerers apprentice by paul dukas  but overall  the emotions evoked from fantasia 2000 are positive ones  being full of hope and promise  music has an impact which can be undeniably felt  capable of leading the listener to emotional peaks and inspirational highs simply not attainable through other mediums  it is no wonder that the levites  as the priestly tribe of the old testament  were also the appointed musicians  if fantasia 2000 is able to introduce a new audience to music which inspires and exalts  it will have done an incredible service  
pos	ingredients  little orphan boy  rural grandparents  mountains  native american lore synopsis  in this loving film portrayal of an idyllic and pivotal time that a young boy spends with grandpa and grandma  the self recollections of an unseen narrator focus on his world view as a tennessee orphan boy learning of his heritage through his grandparents  the setting is after the first world war  during the great depression years  a nineyearold orphan named little tree  joseph ashton  is taken in and taught the wondrous ways of the woods by his caucasian moonshiner grandpa  james cromwell  and his native american grandma  tantoo cardinal  in the wilderness of the mountains of tennessee  here little tree learns an almost magical appreciation for nature and farm life   and experiences beautiful and wondrous things such as the sunrise  everything is miraculous to a child  but it all comes crashing down for the boy when the u  s  government forcibly takes custody away from grandpa and grandma  and forces little tree to attend the notched gap boarding school  a kind of internment camp where multiracial cherokee kids are indoctrinated to dress  pray  speak  and think like white people or face solitary confinement and corporeal punishment  through his childhood experiences  little tree learns lessons about love  race  life  death  people  nature  and folk wisdom  opinion  this excellent  excellent family movie  it is one of those priceless screen gems that nobody knows about because its not highly advertised  you wont find any formula schlock  cutesy characters  canned spirituality  sequel teasers or commercial tie ins  but you will find the education of little tree to be a refreshing  impeccably acted  original  wonderful  and touching film  take the whole family and bring a box of tissues for the tearjerkers  this ones as good as old yeller  
pos	disney cements their place in the forefront of feature animation with the release of their latest animated adventure  mulan  while it adheres a bit too close to the disney formula to be perfect  it is nonetheless an entertaining film for both kids and adults  fa mulan  mingna wen  singing  lea salonga  wants nothing more than to be a dutiful daughter and honor her family    its just that she doesnt quite fit in with the chafing customs of her time  while most girls her age are trying to quietly and demurely seek the approval of the local matchmaker  miriam margoyles   mulan would prefer speaking her mind  but there is trouble on the horizon  the evil huns  led by shanyu  miguel ferrer   are invading china  the emperor  pat morita  has decreed that each family must donate one man to serve in the army  the only male in mulans family is her father  fa zhou  soontek oh   who  old and with a bad leg  honorably accepts his fate  mulan  on the other hand  decides to save her fathers life    by secretly masquerading as a man and taking his place on the battlefield  mulan  under the assumed name of ping  appears at camp where she  along with the other bumbling recruits  yao  harvey fierstein   chienpo  jerry tondo  and ling  gedde watanabe   are trained in the art of war by captain shang  b  d  wong  singing  donny osmond   but shes not alone in her tasks    in typical disney fashion  she has three animal companions  her horse khan  a lucky cricket crickey  and a pintsized  guardian  dragon called mushu  eddie murphy   much like the gargoyles in the hunchback of notre dame  the humor in mulan is lukewarm and doesnt flow well with the rest of the more serious story  sure  some occasional comic relief is welcome  particularly in a film geared for the younger set  but mulan overdoes it  the overdose of humor turns what could have been a powerfully great film into a good  but schizophrenic experience  but  that commentary aside  this is a very well made film  which makes the formulaic additions all the more regrettable   the animation is on par with some of disneys best  the story itself is interesting  and the action scenes are aweinspiring  the musical score to the film is enjoyable  though  as has been the case with disneys recent work  the songs are mostly forgettable  at least  were only subjected to four of them this time around  mulan boasts the highest death toll of any disney cartoon to date  most of the killing is offscreen and its all highly depersonalized  theres nothing to compare with the death of mufasa or bambis mom   theres nothing graphic  and the film resides snugly inside a g rating  children will probably have more questions about the restrictive ancient customs than of the slaughter of armies  its ironic that a film concerned with bucking tradition is hampered because of its strict adherence to disney tradition  if the filmmakers had the guts to lessen the humor  ax the compulsory songs  and remove the obligatory  and somewhat unrealistic  romance  they could have had a classic on their hands  instead  they merely deliver a very good time at the movies  
pos	capsule  the world will come to an end at midnight  everyone knows it and must make a final peace with the last hours of their lives  this is an intelligent science fiction film with no special effects  just personalities and ideas   high 2  4 to 4   it is the last night of the planet and several different people are reacting each in their own way to the end  the film covers 6 pm to midnight  the main character is patrick played by david mckellan who also wrote and directed   reminiscent of on the beach  but much more so of a story richard matheson wrote   the last day    p  s  on rereading the 1953 matheson  this film is almost a loose adaptation of that story  the similarities may be mere coincidence  but they are numerous and they are very striking    us release may be problematical  the title is lackluster and nonmemorable  though very appropriate when you know about the film  also provincial americans may not care about the end of the world coming to toronto  they probably would feel it would not affect them  perhaps a pbs release would be possible   patricks family has declared it christmas and are hurt that the  adult  children will not spend the whole evening with them   grocery stores mostly looted  it seems though that one of everything is left   some people continue business as usual  some want sex  some react with religion  some riot  some people are in total denial   much comedy  much drama   very canadian cast   it does not get dark  it is just always daytime   radio playing  last night i didnt get to sleep at all   how appropriate   david cronenberg as a kind of bland functionary manager at the gas company  genvieve bujold as french teacher visiting former student   science fiction film with no special effects  cost about two million dollars   the person you have been thrown together with by chance becomes the most important person to you for the rest of your life   why would it be so precisely at midnight  what about other time zones  what is the nature of what is destroying the world  
pos	the rich mans wife is one of those movies like final analysis or body double  where the story and characters are so onedimensional and contrived that you know you shouldnt be enjoying yourself  but somehow  the movie just tries so hard that you begin to forgive it and get into the swing of things  not that its bad  its just that its been done before  and better  in my opinion  i realize that this is going to sound pretty bizarre  but its probably the best analogy that i can come up with right now  you know how when you see a spider or something in your toilet  striving helplessly to get out  and instead of just flushing him  you end up kind of rooting for the little guy  thats basically how i felt about this movie  i mean  its not very good  but its not completely bad either  the wife of the title is josie potenza  played nicely by halle berry   she is married to tony  christopher mcdonald    you know  the guy who looks like joe piscapo   a really stressedout businessman who drinks way to much and doesnt give josie the attention she deserves   cough  cough    thus  she is driven into the arms of another man  jake golden  clive owen   near the beginning of the film  josie decides to try and work things out with tony by dumping jake and going on a vacation to a remote cabin in the woods  once there  however  tony has to leave almost immediately due to business details  im still not quite sure what line of work hes in   making the best of her situation  josie stays there and begins making the rounds at the local bars  one night  she meets a stranger named cole  peter greene  finally getting a meaty role   they have dinner together  and eventually  both josie and the audience start to realize that cole is homicidal  after learning that she is not happily married  cole offers to  take care  of the problem  managing to escape from the psychotic maniac  josie returns home and starts a reconciliation with her estranged and very wealthy husband  but then one night  cole shows up    and here is where the fun begins  from this point on  its going to be a noholds barred clichefest  ripping off every movie from strangers on a train to the usual suspects  this is why most critics panned this movie when it first came out  and for the most part  theyre right  the rich mans wife has nary one original bone in its body  but who cares  if youre looking for good ol dumb suspense movie  you cant do much better than this  and if you suspense buffs arent already sold  it has a killer of an ending too  
pos	with a team of 200 graphic artists and animators working on this first film production from game developer squaresofts square pictures  final fantasy  inspired by the topselling game franchise  is visually aweinspiring and groundbreaking  no doubt  you have never seen anything like this film  and the hyperbolic fanfare surrounding its release is absolutely deserved  but why does such a tremendous feat of eye candy have to be weighted down with a problematic story  wooden dialogue and generally uncharismatic voice acting  obviously  the primary goal of the film is to stun and amaze audiences with extremely sophisticated cgi  everything you see in the film is rendered in great detail  individual threads in the fabric  individual strands of hair swaying  wrinkles and pimples on skin  incredible water effects  overall  the expressions and lip movements fairly accurately match the emotions and dialogue  and the times when they dont sync perfectly really stand out  since the animation is usually so dazzling  but you wont spend much time dwelling on those gaffes  as soon as you catch one  the next stellar monster or effect will have you muttering   wow     like the series of games  final fantasys plot and characters have little to do with its predecessors  outside of being born from the same japanese mastermind  hironobu sakaguchi  its the year 2065  and humans are prisoners in caged cities of their own making that guard them from an outside world now overrun with deadly alien  phantoms   whenever a human comes in contact with the ghostly visitors  the ofteninvisible beings pass through the body and wrench out its soul  for some unexplainable reason   while many humans agree with a plan by monomaniacal general hein  james woods  to blast the aliens with a  zeus cannon   dr  aki ross  mingna  and dr  sid  donald sutherland  plan to build a  wave  using eight collected  spirits  to counteract the phantoms and kill them off  while the images serve the scifi aspect of the film well  the storytelling doesnt  its unfortunate  because the plot seems so intricately thought out  perhaps it was far too complex and enormous to be entirely incorporated into the script  some could blame this weakness on the fact that it was a japanese concept translated to english  except two americans wrote the screenplay  nevertheless  the end result is an elaborate story complicated by confusing holes  why do these aliens feed on souls  if they can pass through bodies and ships  how can humans hurt them with guns  what is so special about the  spirits  that they would create a force strong enough to destroy the aliens  worse yet  the dialogue is scripted to be either like a scienceheavy star trek episode  an installment of die hard  or a sappy love story  depending on whos doing the talking  for the most part  its bearable considering the genre  but tedious speeches and cheesy lines dont do anything to help the actors and can get annoying in the longer scenes  the only exception is steve buscemi as pilot neil fleming  who always has great cracks during tense moments  but  when the lights come up and the credits roll  youre more likely to be remarking on how fantastic the film looked  theres no question that the roughly 33 million people who have bought at least one final fantasy game will be eager to see this movie  and so should anyone who enjoys being floored by the best cg animation ever put to film  youd be living in a fantasy world of your own if you expected much more  
pos	ladies and gentlemen  1997s independence day is here  its title  starship troopers  and surprisingly  it is more entertaining than id4  i realize that i gave last years scifi hit a 4 star rating  but i was under the spell of the powerful first hour  after subsequent viewings  i feel that independence day really wasnt as great as it seemedthough i still give it a positive review  starship troopers  on the other hand  has a mocking sense of humor  knowing perfectly well how ridiculous it may seem  as a result  starship troopers is a more exciting  energetic  and lively science fiction film  in fact  i probably could never get tired of watching this film  starship troopers is very reminiscient of star wars  another kickass space opera which reinvented the scifi drama altogether  while starship troopers is no star wars  it comes quite close  and the easiest assessment would be to call this film   the star wars of the 90s   am i being to generous to this film  perhaps  but when a science fiction film comes along that can mix humor and romance  effectively  into the warring races  in essence  this is the science fiction equivolence of pulp fiction  the easiest way to write a review of this film would be to compare it to other science fiction films  and i may have to  starship troopers is not quite an original film persay  but director paul verhoeven gives the film a  kickthealiensasses  style  id4 had this same style  except it was forced  most likely the cause of will smith having a major role  this new  star wars  has a very simple  basic plot  mankind vs  an alien species  the alien species in question here is the bugs  a seemingly advanced civilization of arachnidtype insects  however  the underlying morals of starship troopers are fleshed out with deadly accuracy  sometimes the morals are buried by the bloody violence and intense action scenes  but during quiet moments  we realize that starship troopers has something to tell us about our civilization  more than likely  these morals will be overpowered and quickly forgotten by the time the movie ends  and they should be  i doubt verhoeven intended this film to be a thoughtprovoking film  this is an  event  film  but surprisingly above average  it is extremely refreshing to watch a scifi war film  and actually root for the human side  something independence day never achieved   starship troopers begins with a satirical portrayal of those strange  join the army  ads  mixing a webbased interface  these summations of events are refreshingly original  stating   would you like to know more    these short news bulletins give the film an immediate sense of humor  and we know we should not take it seriously  however  we also witness the murder of several troopers in battle  in a gory  yet funny  way  after witnessing the slaughter  the film jumps back one year  to setup what we just saw  we are introduced to johnny rico  casper van dien  and carmen ibanez  denise richards   rico flirts with carmen by sending her messages over computer terminals in school classrooms  however  carmen isnt as interested in rico as she is in becoming a pilot  however  another classmate  dizzy flores  dina meyer   has her eye on rico  unfortunately  rico isnt interested in dizzy  this setup is rather cliched  as is the result of the setup  but it still is fun to watch  carmen signs up to become a starship trooper  and as a result  rico signs up  and as a result  dizzy signs up  everyone is assigned a certain position in the academy  carmen gets the pilot position she wanted  carl jenkins  neil patrick harris   a psychic  gets a position in the training program  and rico is left in the lowest class of the starship troopers  the mobile infantry  the main story follows rico through his trials and relationships  in reality  i found myself watching a space version of  melrose place   but with better special effects  an hour into the film  the war begins  a sense of tension grew in the audience i watched this film with  the first hour may have been a funny  sometimes unintentionally  setup  but we grew to care for the flat characters  because no matter how hard i tried not to like the characters  their gorgeous looks won me over  call me superficial  if you must   following the training sessions  which had many dramas in themselves  too many to mention here   the troopers are sent to war  the bugs live on the planet klendathu  a planet which consists of dirt and rock  and pretty much nothing else  many dramas occur during the war  until finally the troopers realize that their is something behind the bugs attacks  a sort of intelligence which masterminds the defense  the troopers are ordered to locate the  brain  and capture it  i hopefully left the plot as vague as possible  because starship troopers is not about plot  its about special effects and gory violence  director verhoeven  most known for his nudie film showgirls and basic instinct  returns to his scifi days  which gave us good films like total recall  verhoeven likes to push the envelope of the mpaa  but despite all the violence  the comic book feel gives the film a sense of falsehood  starship troopers is extremely violent  with more gore than this years event horizon  the r rating is well deserved  and hopefully parents will not allow their 12 year old children to see it  my guess is that verhoevens target audience is the 18 to 25 male group  the film has a testosterone level off the charts  with chiseled men and beautiful women  despite these superficial elements  starship troopers also creates a world which made star wars so successful  while watching the film  we never second guess the characters decisions because they seem perfectly clear  thankfully  no hero is punching aliens in the face  which gives the flat characters some depth for which we can identify with  the cast of starship troopers is quite annoying to begin with  but they soon grow on you  casper van dien has the chiseled facial features and tan skin which will make most girls swoon  to most guys  he will come across as artificial  fortunately  van dien is the worst of the cast  despite how hard he tries to come off as a real character  dina meyer does a much better job of fleshing out her character  her dizzy is extremely likeable  denise richards also does a good job  and her scenes are very well done  jake busey  gary buseys son  gives a wonderfully funny performance  and provides one of the biggest laughs of the film  neil patrick harris  remember  he was doogie howser  is a little wooden  and slightly out of place with the rest of the cast  however  he does give a good performance  michael ironside gives the best performance of the film as the teacher with one arm  his performance rises above the rest  perhaps it is because his character is the most developed  but i think it is just ironsides presence on screen  unfortunately  no particular cast member gives a starmaking performance  which is too bad because the material here could have made many of the cast members stars  director verhoeven is the main star of the film  his direction is fast and unrelentless  he never slows down his pace  which makes for a wild ride  writer edward neumeier adapted the screenplay from the book by robert heinlein  the writing is usually very funny  and sometimes very corny  the dialogue is smart but not too smart  we arent required to know everything  but some plot holes are left unanswered  thankfully we are not intended to notice  and we really dont  except for one which lingered in my mind for quite a while   amazingly  with all the wars and romance going on  the screenplay manages to include some surprising governmental issues  in fact  these governmental changes seem fairly plausible  and this adds another layer to the story  the moral debate of the characters is quite surprising to find in a film of this genre  but what is even more surprising is the amount of humor included into all the carnage  i havent laughed this loud  even in some comedies  oh  and the special effects are first rate  starship troopers is rated r for graphic scifi violence and gore  and for some language and nudity  believe me when i say this  dont take young kids to see this film  it is extremely violent  in fact  it is probably the most violent film out this year  however  if you are old enough  over 17  to see it  starship troopers is guaranteed to entertain  its been a long time since i have cheered for the heros  while also cheering for the bad guys  and still  it is my dream to see a scifi film in which the alien race destroys mankind  and take over the world  now that would be entertaining  
pos	billed as a  feminist sex fantasy   this spirited  imaginative and thoroughly engaging film by the awardwinning canadian director cynthia roberts  is destined for extreme reactions  camille paglia enthusiasts will no doubt champion this heartfelt tale of the title character bubbles galore  nina hartley   a pornactressturnedpornproducer who faces an uphill battle in her quest for sexual and economic independence  however  those in the andrea dworkin camp  will no doubt loathe the films decidedly proporn stance  political considerations aside  however  this is a delightful lesbian love story as the film takes us on a whirlwind tour of bubbles romantic entanglements with a naive and virginal young porn starlet dory drawers  shauny sexton   in the backdrop  however is bubbles loyal assistant vivian klitorsky  tracy wright  who pines longingly for the affections of her bubbly boss  this femmebutchfemme triangle is what provides the film with considerable humanity  and  sensuality  in addition to the romantic aspects of the story  bubbles is being stalked and terrorized by her exboyfriend godfrey montana  daniel macivor   a slimy porn mogul who wishes to make her life as miserable as he can possibly make it  when his plans to sabotage her latest film fall through  he snaps and psychotically decides to kill her  these proceedings are presided over by a most heavenly presence  god herself  yes  in the world of this film  god  is most definitely a  her   and a chorus of undulating  scantilyclad angels  have their most watchful and lustful eyes on the events as they unfold  adding a lovely fantasy element to this frothy concoction  this bright  colourful and deliriously sexy film is chockfull of great performances  making her dramatic debut  after appearing in over 300 triple x adult films  porn star nina hartley takes command of her role with considerable assurance and a screen presence which puts many other contemporary straight actresses to shame  hartley has overwhelming star power  and one wonders why other nontriplex producers havent used her bountiful talents  it is also interesting to note that hartley appears in the recent release of  boogie nights   a film which takes a far more traditional doomandgloom approach to the porn industry  making a cameo appearance in the role of god  former porn actress annie sprinkle  a true artist in her own right  gives the entire film an earthy  sensual glow and certainly solidifies and  by her very appearance  downright justifies the themes of the movie  the other performances are equally solid  daniel macivor appropriately chews up the scenery as the villainous godfrey and tracy wright lends able support with her complex role  shauny sexton  an erotic dancer and pinup model  makes an impressive screen debut  overall  bubbles galore is a film which wears its politics on its sleeve and very proudly indeed  at one point  the title character declares that  instead of trying to save women from the sex trade  we should be working to ensure that the sex trade is a safe place for women to work   the direction by cynthia roberts is daring and subversive  roberts is not afraid to plunge the otherwise straightahead and simple narrative into extended and extremely avantgarde montage sequences  the love scenes between the women are especially beautiful  the musical score by nicholas stirling blends cool jazz and lounge stylings  while the skilful cinematography by harald bachmann terrifically captures a blend of garish 70s porn and psychedelia  amazingly  this film appears to have received a good deal of its funding from a variety of canadian government cultural agencies  this speaks volumes towards the importance of state funding for culture  as one cannot imagine such an entertaining  original and vital film being made in a traditional setting where conformity and formula rule the day  bubbles galore seems to be making the film festival rounds and does not  at present  appear to have any traditional distribution in place  so keep your eye on the alternative film listings for this one  its funny  sexy and subversive  and it shouldnt be missed  
pos	seen at the 21st portland international film festival film title  supermarket woman director  juzo itami country  japan 1997 cinematography  yonezo maeda music  toshiyuki honda cast  nobuko miyamoto  masahitko tsugawa  shiro ito  yuji miyake  akiko matsumoto super features  typical itami film    funny and pointed in its own way  if you dont care how and what the food you buy goes through in your local supermarket  then this film is not for you     maybe it is better to ignore it  as this strong and biting satire  as only juzo itami can deliver  will give you an insight as to what some foods go through  having  in the past  made films that pulled every punch imaginable  from the family traditions  the funeral   to taxes  a taxing woman  a taxing woman returns   to the diabolical gangsters  minbo   to hospitals  the seriously ill   juzo itami  this time takes on the supermarkets own war  to get the consumers  and while this film has its funny side  in the crazy situations that it creates  it also shows another side  which is very much the attitude of a corporate structure that is more concerned with its profits than it is with any customer  goro has a supermarket  and a competitor comes into the neighborhood  trying to take him out of business by providing less expensive prices for everything that is sold in the supermarket  bargains galore  its name  has in mind the closure of goros humbler venue  so that in the end it can mark up its prices in any way it can  goro hires hanako  a housewife whose talents seem to be better suited to management  than they are in anything else  hanako  as she gets familiar with the operation  discovers many of the tricks of the trade  done by many of the elders in charge of each section of the market  and the procedures  are not always  fresh  food  but a new packaging and a new date  to try and convince the customers that quality is on the shelves  hanakos ideas take hold  starting with a few of the women that work in the supermarket  being that they do not even shop there at all  and hanako discovers along the way that a few giveaways here and there make a bit of a difference  if not cause some serious problems in the running of the store  a price error  forces them to give away eggs for very low prices  and causes the store a few hassles  but  it brought the people in  and everyone knows that these customers will buy a few other things  as the operation gets stronger  the competition also has trickery up its sleeve  and it has been undermining much of the operation by paybacks to one of the store managers  as well as the meat and fish elder supervisors  eventually these people are found out  and hanako has to tread slowly and carefully  until in the end they all have a showdown  and here  the truth and honesty win out  and even one of the elders decides to stay rather than go to work for the corrupt opponent  in the process  they also find that  freshness   with some very funny jokes on this word as well  becomes a much more important tool than they imagined  with some very nice performances  in this hectic  and fast paced film  this film gives us a sitting of two hours that is satisfying in many ways  although a failed love story between goro and hanako does not come off much  even though towards the end it is suggested  but this would take away from the satire and its strengths  with food gags all over the place  the film lets you have it  and what fun it is  worth seeing   editorial  the director of this film  juzo itami  died shortly after the film was finished  and he left behind a legacy of comedy and satire that is rare  and uncompromising  we would wish that he had been able to make one about film making  of which he must have had a few stories to tell  but we will have to do with much of the japanese society  and its many errant ways     not to say that these things do not happen anywhere else     america is no less guilty of any of these subjects at all  should anyone have the guts to tackle it    we could learn something along the way  too     worth seeing  specially  is a taxing woman and its follow up a taxing woman returns  the funeral is also good  although not as funny as the later films  tampopo is also very enjoyable  all four of these films are available in video  which means your best local site for foreign film may have them    ask for it  
pos	i can sum up first strike in one word  awesome  never in my life have i seen an actor as insanely dedicated as jackie chan  for the simple reason that he has performed his own stunts in his every movie hes ever appeared in  he should be awarded greatly  the same tom and jerry formula that was used to make chans rumble in the bronx and supercop so entertaining can be found here as well  however  first strike was probably the most exciting out of the three  for the simple reason that practice makes perfect  his last two movies were almost like practice and this one was great  like rumble  this film is about the mafia  the former kgb  now chan must do battle in the freezing arctic temperatures of the ukraine against a group of very large bad men  the trailer for the film sums it up quite well  first strike is actionpacked  but the fight scenes are so fast and furious  they almost have a witty  italianlike humor to them  jackie chan is a regular comedian  well  hes no eddie murphy  but he can really crack you up  for example  he is hanging off a roof and he humorously taunts his foes to come and get him  as he claims to be the korean 007  thats secret agent james bond   even the plot to this film improved above the others  as a sortof twisted nuclearweapon smuggling deal is botched and jackie takes the blame  but never fear  as the chinese mafia aids him in uncovering the truth behind the incident  with some of the most highflying stunts and sidesplitting comedy  first strike is a surefire hit thats guaranteed to draw some major  worldwide attention   
pos	as a devout atheist and an avowed believer in aliens  i have some idea of how ellie aroway  jodie foster  feels  but because my reasons for not partaking in religion are different than hers  i cant say that i do exactly  her reason is that she needs solid proof  there is no proof that god existed  so therefor she does not believe  ellie also believes in aliens  and has spent most of her life trying to prove they exist  how can she say she doesnt believe in god because of the lack of proof  and then say she believes in aliens  which are gereally less believed in than god without sounding like a hypocrite  thats the catch22  when aliens from the star vega fax her some plans for a device to transport someone to them  okay  well  they didnt really  fax  them     ellie wants to be the one to go  but because of her atheism she is denied the position  how dumb is that  she discovers the transmitions  then she isnt allowed to go  well  because of a bomb and a psychopath  jake busey   she  does  end up going  but not in the way that we wouldve thought  contact is based on a novel by carl sagan  who died during the filmmaking  it is the best alien movie since close encounters of the 3rd kind  and will end up being the best film of the year  its views of science and religion will no doubt aggrivate some  but will stimulate more  im glad at least one movie of the 90s can portray aliens in a psitive light  rather than a bunch of slimey beasts who will eat your insides and then put on your body  
pos	by now i figured id seen every alfred hitchcock film at least a halfdozen times  not that im complaining  to call him the  master of suspense  is an understatement  the paradine case  1947   admittedly one of hitchcocks lesser movies  turned out to be one id missed  this one  like all hitchcock films  is well worth savoring  the story opens with the rich mrs  maddalena anna paradine being arrested in her home for poisoning her blind husband  as mrs  paradine  alida valli plays an aloof but alluring woman of the world  to franz waxmans stark and moody music  we see the prison guards divesting her of her luxurious garments and jewels  stripped of her fine raiment  she becomes a commoner again  which  as it turns out  was what she was before she met her husband   a brief skirmish  and youll be lunching at the savoy again   anthony keane  her ultraconfident attorney tells her in their first meeting  predicting a fast and easy trial  gregory peck plays the successful and debonair barrister   shes no murderess   he argues simplistically  smitten by her beauty   shes too fine a woman   his attitude upsets his beautiful and increasing jealous wife  gay  ann todd   unlike most hitchcock movies  which are centered on the thriller and the mystery  this one is more a romantic melodrama  typical is the scene in which gay flings her head back and shakes her hair while bathed in light  she deflects her husbands affections as she fears that he is beginning to fall in love with his client  the dramatic music then comes up high as the camera dwells on mrs  paradines portrait nearby  in the relatively unsatisfying first half  little happens other than domestic squabbles and overtones of intense adulterous desires  to the sound of sweeping violins gay tells anthony that he must get mrs  paradine acquitted because  if mrs  paradine dies  his heart will go with her  if she is freed  he will be able to forget her  as part of the soap opera  a mysterious louis jordan plays mr  paradines valet  who has had some not to be discussed relationships  charles coburn plays anthonys legal partner  sir simon flaquer  and charles laughton  who looks like coburn  is judge lord horfield  this being proper british society  they will all dine together at the judges house not long before the case begins  court tv junkies will probably pick up the many differences  some subtle and others not  between the american and the british judicial systems  one  for example  of which i was not aware is that the barrister cannot speak to his own client during the recess if she is the process of testifying  one sometimes wonders what the academy is thinking when they make their oscar nominations  as the judges wife  lady sophie horfield  ethel barrymore got a nomination for best supporting actress  the films only nomination  for an inconsequential part with which she did little of merit   so the big question is when does hitchcock make his obligatory walkon  at 37 minutes into the film  he leaves a train station carrying a large musical instrument case  dont miss it   in the second half the story finally comes alive when it gets into the courtroom  the great master shows his hand there as the tensions build as rapidly in the second part as they lay fallow in the first  watch how the camera angles are sometimes from the back and other times from way on high to set the exact tone for the trials action  as anthony explains it  the simple case has only 3 possibilities  mr  paradine poisoned himself  mrs  paradine did it  or the valet did it  the end includes many devastating revelations and some nice twists so it is too bad the first half is so languid  the paradine case runs 1  53  the picture is in black and white  it is not rated but would be pg for mature themes and would be fine for kids around nine and up if they are interested  
pos	its wednesday  march 27  and a murder investigation is underway in charlotte  south carolina  the crime  a young prostitute  elizabeth  renee zellweger   has been brutally slain  one half of her severed body was found in a bag at the train station  the other half was discovered in a trunk at the harbor authority  miles away  the police duo of braxton  chris penn  and kennesaw  michael rooker  are strapped for leads  at the moment  they have only one possible suspect  wayland  tim roth   a wealthy  unemployed genius who graduated summa cum laude from princeton and appears to be the least likely character to commit such a heinous act  thats the premise for deceiver  a new thriller from the pate brothers  jonas and josh  who made their mark on the film world two years ago at sundance with the movie the grave  deceiver plays out like a mind game between the intellectually superior wayland and the two not sobright cops  captions early in the proceedings let us know that waylands iq is 151  by contrast  kennesaws is 122 and braxtons is 102   the setting is a police interrogation room where a lie detector test is about to be administered  over three days  as wayland returns to answer more questions  the drama and tension among these three characters gradually escalates until  inevitably  it boils over  other plot elements are thrown in for good measure  wayland suffers from a peculiar kind of epilepsy that can  in stressful situations  render him virtually catatonic or extremely violent  braxton  a compulsive gambler  is deep in debt to a local syndicate  and kennesaw is haunted by a dark  abusive side that delights in terrorizing women  especially his wife  rosanna arquette   whom he suspects of being unfaithful  the foibles and failings of these three are brought into the open as the mystery around elizabeths death deepens and it becomes unclear who has the upper hand  the suspect or his questioners  deceiver  which mostly transpires in a dimlylit room and involves a lot of smart dialogue  has the feel of a david mamet play  edgy  claustrophobic  and tense  the atmosphere is explosive  and some of pivotal moments of confrontation are riveting  deceiver has the power to grab an audience  unfortunately  in the end  it succumbs to the need to throw in one last  unexpected twist  and this is its undoing  for  while this surprise will certainly shock most viewers  it also stretches our credulity too much  and raises more questions than it answers  its only an effective wrapup if you dont think too carefully about its full implications  of course  the film as a whole plays fast and loose with reality and logic  police procedure is totally ignored and its almost impossible to accept that any criminal investigation would or could proceed in this manner  but the real focus in deceiver is on character interaction  not plot details  deceiver only occasionally gets out of the police station  and those instances occur primarily during flashbacks featuring the prostitute  the pates employ a number of interesting techniques to present vignettes from elizabeths final days and hours  the most intriguing of these is to use an unreliable narrator while underlining the discrepancies in his voiceover by visually showing what really happened  moments like this are too effective to be dismissed as gimmicks  the movie  obviously fashioned in the manner of classic film noir  drips atmosphere  there are some fascinating stylistic touches  for example  although the setting is contemporary  all of the telephones are oldfashioned  rotary models  cinematographer bill butler is given an opportunity to use unconventional camera work to liven up deceivers look  some of the things he tries  mostly those that involve the contrast between light and shadow  work exceptionally well  while others  like any of several lazy susan shots  seem more like unnecessary visual tricks  as wayland  tim roth gives the films top performance  despite occasionally treading the tightrope between acting and overacting  roth makes us believe that wayland is both as brilliant and as troubled as hes supposed to be  the other two leads  chris penn and michael rooker  arent as effective  both play their characters like familiar types  penns performance is uninspired  rookers lacks subtlety  some of the best work is turned in by the supporting actors  renee zellweger  in a role thats miles away from her starmaking turn in jerry maguire  brings a note of vulnerability and humanity to a part that could easily have become a caricature  rosanna arquette is solid as kennesaws wife  and michael parks delivers several wonderful scenes as a psychiatrist whos entrusted with evaluating waylands condition  one of the best things about deceiver is that it never talks down to the audience  plot points arent hammered home  and  although the ending has its weaknesses  everything isnt spelled out in bold letters  the pates give audience members credit for having brains  which is an increasingly rare characteristic for film makers  occasionally gripping and never uninteresting  deceiver is a fine noir effort  
pos	on april 12th  1912  the most astonishing shipwreck in the history of the world occurred  on that fateful night  the titanic sunk  now  more than 50 years later  a film has been made  and what a film that is  james camerons newest movie is a landmark in storytelling  emotion  and special effects  it starts in the present  where bill paxton and his band of scientists explore the depths of the ships wreckage  exploring an old chest  paxton comes across a nude drawing of a young woman  the drawing is televised and the woman  gloria stuart  whose portrait the painting is of comes forward and slowly but surely  the ships story is told  leonardo dicaprio stars as jack dawson  a young man with a sketch book  a heart of gold  an intelligent mind  and not much else  he wins his ticket aboard titanic in a poker game  and is the perfect match for rose dewitt bukater  kate winslett   she grows to love jack  but seems unable to escape the slimy clutches of her arranged fiance  cal hockley  billy zane   the film takes its time  and by doing so  makes us care about its characters  and shows us the full aspects of human emotion  the leads shine  there is no bad performance  in fact  these do not seems like performances at all  but genuine people  trapped on the doomed vessel  facing certain death  watching this film  i was amazed at how vivid and real these situations feel  the time rose and jack spend together at a thirdclassparty  the naivety that jack feels when he skecthes rose nude  the terror felt by all onboard  as certain doom turns people into both cowards and heroes  this  the most expensive movie ever made  200 million  is destined to make its profit back  and then some  it also has more emotion and warmth than any other film this year   even this decade  it is also yet another first  the first 200 million dollar romance  and every critic in this country will agree that it was indeed  money extremely   very   well spent  
pos	that thing you do   from firsttime film director tom hanks  is an enjoyable tale about a fictional band  the wonders  that goes from a garage band to the band with the fastest selling album in the country  but  the question arrises  will the seduction of fame and fortune corrupt the band and lead them to become just another onehit wonder  or will they stick together and become the next teen sensations  the  oneders   as they are originally known  have their first gig at a very smalltime contest  jimmy  the lead singer  has written a catchy song and intends to play it at the contest  but  a short time before the contest begins  the current drummer becomes injured and a replacement is needed  enter guy patterson  skilled musician who currently works at his fathers appliance store and is looking to break free from the restricting clutches that bind him  he seems to fit in well  until the group takes the stage  when they begin to play  guys beat is much too fast and the pace is way off for the intended song  it looks as though the group is doomed to failure  but  the  new  song is a hit  this leads to another gig  and soon enough  the group has an agent  he doesnt do too much for them  but they do get their song played on the radio  eventually  mr  white of playtone records approaches the group  and he informs them that they want to release a record  before you can say  billboard   the band is now renamed  the wonders  and the members are speeding their way to fame  the gigs are getting better  their fame is increasing  and they have the fastest selling album in playtone records history  the band is invited to appear in a feature film  and  they then fly out to hollywood to appear on television  after the appearance on television  things start to fall apart  two of the members of the band pretty much disappear  and things are not working out well between jimmy and guy  will the band work it out  or will they split up and go on their own separate journeys towards success  that thing you do   complete with a nifty original song that actually sounded authentic  is a fun and enjoyable movie that  although it doesnt become clear if it wants to be a comedy  drama  or romance  is a wellmade look into the world of music  tom hanks directorial debut was a good one and should lead to more work for him  
pos	synopsis  an attractive mute makeup artist  working on an ultracheesy slasher movie in moscow  witnesses the production of a brutal snuff film and is subsequently chased by really bad russians  meanwhile  the artists sister and boyfriend clumsily try to save her  comments  mute witness came as a surprise to me the first time i watched it  drawn by the clever artwork on the video box  i rented the film expecting a complete turkey  mute witness  however  was original  offbeat  and wellmade  its one of those cool little finds that no one seems to know about  ive subsequently found it at most video rental places i visit  and it may be seen  on occasion  on the independent film channel  the first hour of mute witness is extremely tense  as billy  the quite believable mute heroine  sees members of the russian mob brutally kill a prostitute while filming an illegal snuff film  the rest of the film takes good advantage of billys vulnerable position as a mute foreigner in moscow being pursued by powerful criminal figures  to throw a curveball into the fray  billys sister karen and her filmmaking beau become bizarre figures of comic relief to offset several violent sequences in what are some genuinely funny scenes  a disappointingly trite ending and occasional comic blunders are the only two things which mar this otherwise suspenseful film  look for alec guinness  obiwan kenobi from the first star wars trilogy  in a small role as the evil reaper  definately check this movie out  although  as a word of warning  it does contain several scenes of rather grisly violence which certainly arent for the squeamish  
pos	the grandfather of italian horror the late mario bava has credits in nearly 100 films and tv movies produced in italy between 1939 and his death in the early 80s  more practiced as a cinematographer than a director  bava nonetheless sat in the directors chair for beyond the door ii  the project which turned out to be his last fulllength feature film  alongside the appalling zombie schlock of hacks like lucio fulci  beyond the door ii is simply a revelation  in his day bava was considered by most to be no great filmmaker  yet here he fashioned one of the finest italian horror movies of the 1970s   note that the film has no connection with the 1975 exorcistrip off behind the door  but for some unexplained reason was given this related title for release in the usa and australia   this story focuses on dora  a women set upon by a malevolent spirit that channels itself through her young son marco  the film opens with dora  her son and second husband bruno returning to a house by the sea that was the scene of her first husbands suicide and her subsequent trauma 7 years earlier  they hope to put the past behind them  but as small accidents start to befall dora  usually while bruno is away on business  she starts to suspect that marco  played with uncanny ability by 8 year old david colin jr   is somehow involved in the strange goings on  to reveal any more of the story would be unfair  suffice to say that this artfully paced study of a woman suffering a nervous breakdown offers an intriguing plot  loads of atmosphere and solid acting  though the dialogue is somewhat weakened by the dubbing into english  bava coaches a surprisingly good performance from the usually wooden daria nicolodi  wife of famed italian horror director dario argento  her character is invested with sufficient depth to allow the audience real empathy with doras troubled soul  the music by italian ensemble libra is also effective  mixing oddsounding 70s rock with classic gothic piano sequences  and there is at least one moment  brilliantly engineered by bava  that is guaranteed to lift you ten feet out of your chair  yet for italian horror  the bloodletting here is surprisingly minimal  lamberto bava and francesco barbieris script is more concerned with deeper  psychological terrors  with themes of guilt and suffering  with the notion that what we sow will shall  somewhere  somehow  eventually reap  scholars of the genre take note  beyond the door ii is stylish  chilling  and essential  
pos	based on the relatively unknown  in comparison to spiderman  marvel comic book  blade tells the story of halfvampire halfhuman  played by wesley snipes  who was born of a vampires latest meal  now swearing vengeance against all vampires  blade hunts them all  his latest challenge is his biggest though    he must stop the vampire deacon frost  played by stephen dorff  from summoning the blood god and turning the rest of the world into vampires  admitedly  comic books are one of the least appreciated mediums  often viewed as juvenile by most standards  even seen as illiterate by some  judging by a series of poorly recieved  financial and critical  comic book based films  such as batman and robin  steel  barb wire  the crow  city of angels  and the list goes on   one would come to the conclusion that comic books are the worst medium to translate into film  to some degree  i agree with this sentiment  having read comic books since the age of nine  im 21 right now  i can count the number of good comic book based movies  not including japanese manga  one hand  1  the crow  1994   2  batman  1989   3  superman  4  the mask  and now  5  blade    men in black  is not on this list because it is an extreme deviation from the original comic book  why is this  for the most part  it is because the filmmakers understand the comic book medium and come up with an appropriate atmosphere to match  the crow and batman comics call for a dark gothic atmosphere  which the director provided  the mask features a wacky superhero with off the wall antics  which the casting and cg effects reflect  superman is not over the top with colour and flash  and the film reflects this  blade uses common notions of vampires and incorporates them into the film  creating an appropriate atmosphere  this is in stark contrast to joel schumachers contrived vision in batman and robin  reflecting the dated atmosphere in the 1960s television show  batman and robin proved that the director failed to realize one fundamental fact  comics have grown up  and so has the audience  im working on a scathing review of batman and robin and will post it up when im ready   which brings me back to blade  although he may be a familiar character to some  due to his appearances in the spiderman animated show on fox  one will find no single trace of the warmandfuzzy vampire hunter as depicted in the cartoon  the film depicts a vicious vampire killer that uses every single means at his disposal to reach his ends  the end results are not pretty by any means  the story elements work very well  for a comic book story  screenwriter david goyer  who also wrote the crow  incorporates interesting elements of vampire lore  using science to explain many of the ideas often dismissed in vampire films  this is presented through karen  a hematologist portrayed by nbushe wright  this leads to inventive use of standard medical treatments to kill vampires  add this to the neat little gadgets that blade uses  including a titanium sword complete with an  antitheft device    and one has an interesting premise  however  the film works best as an action film  actor wesley snipes has an extensive background in martial arts  most of which comes from capoeira  a brazillian form incorporating flashy kicks   choreographing every single move  proving that quick  flash cutting edits are no substitute for choreographed fight sequences  see batman and robin for a good example of that   wesley snipes dazzles the audience with some incredible fight scenes  regardless  this film is far from perfect  the film suffers from at least one major plot hole  regarding the summoning of the blood god  the ritual requires that a number of pure blood vampires are standing on marked squares  yet one of them is viciously murdered  allowing the ritual to pass  and the murdered vampire is later shown standing on the square   obvious continuity errors also surface  especially during a scene where deacon frost takes a drag on his cigarette and is not exhaling it in the next frame  there is no trace of smoke either   much of the special effects are not that spectacular either  while vampire disintegration scenes are intriguing to watch  other cgi  computer generated imagery  effects are almost slapped together  which is surprising when given the amount of time the film was given to be released  the films release date was pushed back multiple times   scenes with computer generated blood look extremely fake  knocking the believability factor down a few notches  but then  im really hard to impress   the films r rating comes from gory violence  but the lack of realism made me wonder why it got such a rating  for realistic violence  watch  saving private ryan    the overuse of cgi in films has made me yearn for the days of director george romero and makeup wizard rob bottin  both pioneers in the art of gore without extensive use of cgi  still  scenes involving noncgi special effects do surface  and look much more impressive   such as one particularly gruesome scene where a vampire tries to use blades sword without deactivating the  antitheft device   wesley snipes is the saving grace behind what would have otherwise been a muddled mess  while not talking much  he is a grand physical presence  leaving other comic book superheroes in the dust  a decent  by comic book film standards  storyline also helps  
pos	quentin tarantino seems to have a knack for giving his stars big careers  after his pulp fiction  many actors began receiving many offers for jobs  john travolta made his comeback and is now one of todays most bankable stars  bruce willis proved his acting chops and is now considered an actual actor  jackie brown  on the other hand  boasts quite a well known cast  except for the main lead  pam grier  most likely you have heard of her and seen her in films  but shes never really had a breakthrough performance  her first film was in the roger ebertwritten beyond the valley of the dolls   that is  until now  jackie brown is a highly anticipated feature film from quentin tarantino  whose last film was the huge hit pulp fiction  after mediocre acting jobs  tarantino returns to what made his name a household one  directing and writing  jackie brown is the result  and it is fantastic entertainment  despite excellent direction from tarantino  the cast steals the film  giving one good performance after another  pam grier gives a stunning performance as jackie brown  and she is supported by an incredible mix of talentsamuel l  jackson  bridget fonda  michael keaton  robert de niro  and robert forster  more than likely  you will see a few of these names in the oscar pool come oscar nominations  describing a quentin tarantino film is very difficult  as you really cant say much or you spoil it for everyone else  i will tread lightly  jackie brown opens with an impressive shot of jackie brown  grier  in a blue outfit walking through the airport  the camera tracks along with her  and ends up revealing her occupation  we are also introduced to ordell robbie  jackson   who sells illegal guns to interested buyers    for a hefty price  ms  brown carries the money from buyer to ordell in order to keep the cops away  however  an fbi agent  keaton  and a local l  a  cop  michael bowen  are out to find ordell and catch him while taking the money  they try to reach him through beaumont livingston  chris tucker   one of ordells buyers  but he mysteriously ends up dead  they try again through brown  but she is hesitant to admit to any wrongdoing  but after unknowingly carrying some drugs for one of ordells friends  fonda   she is caught and sent to jail  ordell pays her bail through a bail bond agent  max cherry  forster   and then wants to find out what she told the cops  after she claims to have said nothing  she reveals the fact that she will tell them about ordell in order to stay out of prison  ordell doesnt like this  but they both come up with a scheme to throw the feds and cops off their track  this scheme seems to be going as planned  but unexpected occurances may or may not foul up their goal  revealing more would spoil the fun of jackie brown  and thats the biggest reason to go see a tarantino film  tarantino seems to have a fascination with hitmen and unusual predicaments  and slang terms   but they are always done very well and believably  his hitmen are normally cruel  but pleasant  in that nasty sort of way  they talk like normal people  except for when doing business  and they are rude to their girlfriends  of course  this is a tarantino film  and you know you can expect some awkward situations to arise  and perhaps the biggest flaw with jackie brown is the slow middle section in which the pace begins to drop  of course  tarantino fixes this by moving onto the climax of the film  adding a lot of his reservoir dogsstyle storytelling to it  things are told from one persons perspective  and then from another  and then from another  each time learning more and more  this all leads up to a very interesting conclusion  which decides who is on whose side  on the technical side of jackie brown  quentin tarantino directs it with the same style as he did with his 1994 film  however  this time around it isnt as nearly as impressive or original  the writing  on the other hand  is quite good  although i do find tarantinos use of slang terms offensive  the story jumps back and forth in time as in pulp fiction  but its much more easy to understand  his previous film needed a second viewing in order to understand the time differentiation  but jackie brown is very simply to follow  especially considering that the time is given during the  leaps  in time  perhaps this is a result of the screenplay being written from the novel  rum punch  by elmore leonard  the dialogue is pretty much intelligent  and all the characters are fully realized  the cinematography is very well done by guillermo navarro  who has worked with tarantino on previous films  and the editing is very good  and as with pulp fiction  the music is a highlight  bringing back memorable songs from the 70s and 80s  the acting side of jackie brown is unforgettable  the performances are incredibly rich  with hidden meaning behind every characters actions  nothing is quite as it seems  and you cant really tell which side one person is on  the real treat  of course  is pam grier who gives an astonishing performance as jackie brown  her poor living conditions are superceded by her superior wits  which play an important role in the film  watching grieg  i could tell what was going through her mind  even if i didnt know what she was thinking  her face portrays a lot of emotion that you can tell when she is sad  happy  or in deep thought  bridget fonda gives a very good performance as a druggie couch potato  i didnt even realize it was fonda until i saw her name in the final credits  her performance actually reminded me of heather grahams in boogie nights   michael keaton comes across very well  as does michael bowen  chris tucker has a small  but effective performance  samuel l  jackson is very good  but it seems to me that he was replaying his jules winnfield character from pulp fiction  although much less cynical   but no matter    jackson is very strong in his role  robert de niro is actually a little annoying at times  but overall he does a good job as one of ordells perspective clients and friends  robert forster gives one of the best performances in the film  as he has one of the most developed characters  he is present throughout most of the film  and he holds his own against jackson and grier  jackie brown is rated r for language  sex  violence  drug use  and some offensive remarks  as a film by itself  jackie brown is a terrific piece of entertainment  with a complex plot to draw viewers in  however  one can not help but compare it to tarantinos pulp fiction  and expect great results  when compared  it comes up short  but not that short  its a worthy effort  with terrific acting and some impressive writing from elmore leonard and tarantino  perhaps the best thing about jackie brown is the discovery of pam grier as a major hollywood actress  i cant remember seeing her in anything  except for a small role in mars attacks    but hopefully she will get many more roles from this one  expect to see her name floating around the oscar nominations  and hopefully she will even be able to nab one   
pos	the makers of jurassic park  the director of speed conjure up a storm   reviewed at eng wahs new jubilee cineplex at ang mo kio   unlike earthquakes  their fury is precise  unlike hurricanes  their reach is unlimited  unlike fires  there is no way to combat them  unlike floods  their terror is sudden    excerpt from twister production notes im sure many of us living in this part of the world have never seen tornadoes  or twisters  before  i for one  have only seen the devastating effects and footage of tornadoes from news reports on tv and personally  i feel tornadocaused destruction comes no where near the destruction caused by hurricanes and earthquakes         that is until i saw twister  the destruction caused by twisters may be precise  not widespread but it moves very fast and its path of destruction is unpredictable  it will suck in cars  houses  livestock  etc      basically anything in its path that is not firmly rooted to the ground and in twister  youll get to see all this  close up  twister tells a tale about a group of storm chasers  these people are basically outoftheirmind and for the sake of obtaining data on twisteroccurrences  they risk their lives by literally chasing tornadoes  trying to get as close as they can      that is if the tornado does not suddenly decide to change its path towards them  jo  helen hunt  is the leader of this pack of kamikazes  while they are gearing up for the motherofallstorms as predicted by satellite recon  bill  bill paxton   a former co leader of the team returns to settle some divorce papers with jo  apparently  bill has left his rogueish days for greener and more practical pastures  as a television weatherman  he catches up with his oldself and follows the pack like the good ole days  bringing his wifetobe melissa  jamie gertz  along  a citybred woman toting around with a handphone  jo has finally implemented bills initial idea of a device called dorothy which measurements of a twister may lead to a better understanding on how tornadoes are formed so that a more reliable earlywarning system can be implemented  the problem is  the device has to be placed very near the twister  and in its path  which is practically unpredictable  of destruction in order for it to function  to add to their current challenge  there is another group of storm chasers that is corporationfunded led by jonas  cary elwes  and they too have a similar device  thus begins the race  jos cheap government equipment with beatenup vehicles against jonass hightech computers and satellite linkups with their sleek  black allterrain vans  plot wise  there are not really anything to shout about  twister is as predictable as any summer boxoffice hit can get  there is the danger of the twister  the competition with jonasos more welloff team and of course  the settling of differences between jo and bill  this part gives the film its human substance   helen hunt  bill paxton and the rest of the actorsactresses give only average performances and all of them take back seat to the main thespian in this movie  the twister itself  thanks to the impressive digital effects by ilm  lucasfilms industrial light and magic   we get to see the terror and destruction caused by tornadoes up close  from stripping barns and houses to lifting up livestock  jan de bont once again proves his visual abiility  thanks to his years of experience as a director of photography for action films  for action sequences  like his previous film speed  the tornado sequences  which are essentially the action sequences  are well visualised and edited  audiences will be holding tight to their chairs everytime a tornado comes on screen  the surround sound effects sure does help a lot in stressing the terror of a twister   the cinema must at the very least support digital sound to fully appreciate this  twister is definitely an effectdependent movie  now that id4 fever has begun to reside  and people are getting bored of watching will smith whoop ets ass for the umpteenth time       twister is your sure bet of 7 bucks well spent  watch it in a good theatre    please  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
pos	there are times when the success of a particular film depends entirely on one actors effort  often a single performance can turn what might have been a rather mediocre movie into something worthwhile  when one of these comes along  i usually try to think about how many other people put work into the movie  that there is no way one person could possible carry the entire project on his shoulders  but sometimes there is simply no other explanation  and such is the case with  the hurricane   this biopic about falsely convicted boxer rubin  hurricane  carter would normally be called  norman jewisons the hurricane    as per the tradition of referring to a film  belonging  to a director  but though he does decent work  jewison cannot claim ownership of  the hurricane   because there is one reason this film works at all  and his name is denzel washington  washington plays carter  a boxer who in 1967 was convicted of a latenight shooting in a bar  jailed for 20 years  he maintained that he had never committed the crimes  but remained in jail after a second trial and countless appeals  the situation changed when a group of canadians moved to washington and worked on freeing carter  through the efforts of that group and carters lawyers  he was eventually freed when their case was heard in federal court and the judge ruled that rubin carter had been unfairly convicted  the film details carters childhood  which had him in and out of jail because of the efforts of a racist cop  dan hedaya   when he finally got out of prison for good  carter became a rising star as a middleweight pro boxer  seemingly having his career on track  until the police framed him for multiple homicide  despite the efforts of political activists and celebrities  he remained imprisoned  flash forward to 1983  when lesra  vicellous reon shannon  a young africanamerican boy  living with a group of canadian tutors  reads the book carter wrote while in prison  the book  entitled  the sixteenth round   opens young lesras eyes to the injustice that was carters life  and he vows to help free the incarcerated boxer  lesra convinces his canadian friends  deborah unger  liev schreiber  john hannah  to work with him towards his goal   the hurricane  leans on denzel washington  he must carry virtually every scene by sheer force of will  and he does so brilliantly  its probably accurate to say that washington does not embody rubin carter  because he plays a character far stronger and nobler than any real person could hope to be  it would perhaps be more accurate to say that washington embodies the character of rubin cartera fictional personality invented solely for the film  the actors work is masterful  washington throws himself into every moment  refusing to keep the audience at arms length  we feel everything he feels  the humiliation of having to return to prison after fighting so hard to make something of his life  the pain of having to order his wife to give up the fight  and the utter despair he feels when coming to the conclusion that all hope is lost  washingtons is a performance of weight and emotional depth  he doesnt merely play angry  happy  or sad  he feels it at the deepest level  his work is masterful  and for half of this film i realized that the scene i was watching would not have been nearly as affecting as it was if it had been in the hands of another actor  norman jewison directs the film  doing a reasonably good job of pacing and shot selection   the hurricane  moves quickly  with no scene drawn out much further than necessary and the narrative galloping along nicely  jewison handles his multiple flashbacks well  the audience is always aware of just what the time and place of each scene is  and nothing is terribly confusing  his boxing scenes  constructed with clear inspiration from  raging bull   get inside the action very well  and they are believable as real sports footage  jewison puts together a particularly nice scene by utilizing a pretty cool trick  carter is sent to solitary confinement for 90 days when he refuses to wear a prison uniform  and jewison  assisted by some wonderful acting from a game washington  shows how carter gradually starts to lose his mind during the constant solitude  and eventually we get three rubin carters arguing with each other in one cell  jewisons best achievement in  the hurricane  is succeeding at showing how carter becomes an embittered man during his hardknock life  and how he is able to break out of that bitterness and learn to trust people again  sadly  though  the films chief failures lie with the screenplay  as with most of the goodbutnotgreat efforts to round the pike this winter  there is much to interest a viewer in  the hurricane   but it seems that every time the film gets a chance to take the most clich  d route possible  it does  take a look at the supporting characters  for example  who are drawn up as either entirely good or entirely evil  carter and lesra  played nicely by shannon  who deserves credit  are the only real people here  everyone else is a stereotype  the canadians are good  the cops are bad  the canadians spend most of their time dolefully grinning at each other in their loveydovey commune  and it is a commune  despite the films failure to make that clear   while every racist cop  especially dan hedayas  melts in out of the shadows and glowers at every black person that enters the room  much of the dialogue comes off as rather hokey   hate put me in prison  loves gonna bust me out     and the big courtroom climax during which everyone gets to make an impassioned speech could have been lifted from a madefortv lifetime special  its too bad  the cast is game  the director does his job  and the subject matter is interesting  but the script takes the safer  slightly more boring route far too often  i wanted a real reason for the cop to hold a grudge against carter other than  hes a racist pig   i wanted more evidence that these canadians are real people with faults and virtues instead of a bunch of saintly crusaders looking for justice  in short  i wanted to see the film through a less distorted lens  criticism has been levied against the liberties  the hurricane  takes with the truth of what really happened to carter  and much of it is deserved  for example  the film gives us a boxing scene showing carter pummeling defending champ joey giardello  only to be screwed by the judges  who ruled giardello the winner  most accounts of the fight  however  have carter losing fairly  furthermore  much of carters criminal past is conveniently left out of the film  and just why he was convicted again in his second trial is never really explained  of course   the hurricane  works mainly as a fable  so digressions from the truth can be excused at least partially  but even dismissing such issues dont remove one fact   the hurricane  is a highly flawed film  only one actor could have made a schmaltzy  predictable picture like this work as well as it does  and its a good thing  the hurricane  has that actor  carter has been quoted as saying   denzel washington is making me look good   but hes not the only one  washington makes this film look good  denzel washingtons  the hurricane   sounds pretty good to me  
pos	contact is a nobly intentioned but ultimately unsatisfying adaptation of carl sagans only novel  it details the circumstances surrounding the first clear sign of intelligent life in outer space and their effects on the life of a young and idealistic radio astronomer named ellie arroway  jodie foster   we first meet ellie at a giant radio telescope in puerto rico  where she is part of the seti  search for extraterrestrial intelligence  project  her research is quickly killed  however  by her highly political david drumlin  tom skerrit   who disdains  pure research  in favor of science with  commercial applications  she goes in search of private funding and is turned down at every step until she pitches her project to a corporation run by the mysterious s  r  hadden  john hurt   then  with that money just about to finally dry up  ellie is sitting out in the desert near the very large array in new mexico when she hears over her headphones a very powerful pulsing radio signal  in the movies most exciting and believable sequence  ellie and her coworkers determine that the signal has to be coming from the star vega  at first the signal appears to be just sequences of prime numbers  then it turns out to be a tv signal of the berlin olympics bounced back to earth from 50 years before  further decoding  with haddens help  reveals another layer to message  containing detailed plans for a massive and complex machine  it appears that the machine is a transport that will allow one person to travel to the aliens home world  of course  the big question becomes  who gets to ride it    right after  whos gonna pay for this thing     to boil it down  ellie gets denied the seat in the machine because she bluntly acknowledges her atheism  while drumlin gets to go because he rather insincerely professes his deep religious faith  drumlin is killed and the machine destroyed when religious fanatics bomb the launch platform  apparently to keep  godless science  from talking to god  or something like that   then hadden reappears with startling news  he has secretly constructed a second machine off the coast of japan and has reserved the ride for ellie  in whom he has taken a rather paternal interest  ellie boards the machine and is transported through some kind of wormhole to a dreamlike place that looks a lot like waikiki beach before they built the hotels  where she meets the aliens who take the form of her late father  david morse   when she returns home  no one believes her  she was not even gone for one second  they say  even though she remembers being gone for 18 hours  her story is officially discredited  although believed by a large segment of the public  who dont even have to know that her computer records of the trip contain nothing but static    eighteen hours worth of static   there is a lot to like about contact so i will highlight those points first  ellie arroway is a wellrounded character portrayed by one of the best actresses currently working  neither the character nor the performance has the same depth as clarice starling in silence of the lambs  but thats a tough standard to meet  ellie is interesting in that she is woman defined by a strange array of father figures  her real father is an idealized movie dad who does nothing in the film but love his daughter unconditionally  drumlin comes across as a distant stepfather to whom ellie is like an irritating teenager who wants to use his toys to get into trouble  hadden obviously has affection for ellie  but in the end he seems to see her as his creation  nothing more than his favorite piece on the chess board  even palmer joss  matthew mcconaughey   ellies love interest  takes a paternalistic interest in ellie  seeing her as a misguided person who needs protection from her own impulses  the film is technically impressive  especially in the scenes where the message is first received and during the destruction of the first machine  the part of the film dealing with the message has the best presentation of real science in a film since the andromeda strain  the film falls apart when dealing with its central theme  the dichotomy between science and religion  this is a very real debate but contact boils it down to a simplistic level that never really touches on the actual issues involved  the film presents science pretty well  until the end  so the real problem stems from it presentation of religious faith  religious people are presented as shallow caricatures  rob lowe plays a ralph reed clone named richard rank  very subtle  guys   the voice of the religious right  another religious figure is the fanatic who blows up the first machine  jake busey   the only really fleshedout religious person  palmer joss  is supposed to be a minister of some sort  but his actual faith is left pretty vague  i cant even say for certain that he was supposed to be a christian  all we know is that he dropped out of the seminary and obviously has no qualms about premarital sex  the film drops the science ball at the very end  when ellie appears to assert that there are some things even scientists must take on faith  in a day and age when the theory of evolution is denounced by the religion right as an atheist  religious  doctrine  this is exactly the wrong message to send  in a movie dealing with issues of science and faith  the last thing you want your scientist character to do is abandon the principle of scientific skepticism  what ellie should have said was   you shouldnt believe me  not without evidence  and i dont have the evidence  i know what happened but you shouldnt take my word alone   that is the voice of science speaking  the character of david drumlin is another problem with this film  his attitudes toward pure research project seem out of place for a person in his position  also  his profession of  faith  before the selection committee is so nakedly and transparently insincere that only a pack of idiots should have fallen for it  the last big problem is with the use of real personalities in various roles  the media figures  such as bernard shaw and jay leno arent so bad  in as much as their participation was voluntary  the use of bill clinton  however  should give anyone pause  first of all  lifting the image of a sitting head of state and inserting him into a fictional story line  thus using his words outside of the context in which they were spoken  is just plain creepy  also  using the real president places this film between 1993 and 2001  forever dating it  people watching this film in the future will say   hey  this never took place during clintons term   this bit of unreality will jar people out of their suspension of disbelief  also  the level of technology portrayed in the film is too advanced to take place before the first decade of the next century  better to have had a fictitious president played by an actor or no president at all  the film does raise an interesting question  although it never develops it in a satisfying way  if we were picking an emissary to send to an alien culture  would an atheist be automatically disqualified just because ninety percent of the population of the world professes a belief in god  or at least some form of supernatural creator  personally  i would hope not  since religion is basically an opinion  a form of ideology  i would not want any form of ideological test for such an import task  
pos	david cronenberg presents us with another strange tale crawling out of his impressively twisted head  it is one of many science fiction films  released during the last year of this millenium  that tackles issues that will play an important role in our future  the story unfolds in a near future  where the line between reality and virtual reality blurs  the world of the future is an unfriendly place  where the scared inhabitants are  hiding  in virtual reality fantasy games to escape the uncertainty of the real world  allegra geller  jennifer jason leigh   the leading game designer in the world  is testing her new virtual reality game  existenz with a focus group  as they begin  she is attacked by a fanatic assassin employing a bizarre organic gun  she flees with a young marketing trainee  ted pikul  jude law   who is suddenly assigned as her bodyguard  unfortunately  her pod  an organic gaming device that contains the only copy of the existenz game program  is damaged  to inspect it  she talks ted into accepting a gameport in his own body so he can play the game with her  the events leading up to this  and the resulting game lead the pair on a strange adventure in a world where individuality doesnt exist  as the  players  are forced to perform as characters in an unknown plot  here the reality and their actions are impossible to determine from either their own or the games perspective  i dont intend to reveal more of the films premise  which is structured as a computer game  with  tasks  that the characters must complete to win the game  released after  the matrix  and  dark city    existenz  has some similarities and parallels that connect it to these films  however   existenz  is moving in a different direction  with a premise of its own  a combination of dazzling special effects  brilliantly coordinated action sequences and an intelligent and sophisticated plot  made  the matrix  a rare and entertaining science fiction experience  with some dark and frightening ideas hidden under its sparkling facade   existenz  has a completely different atmosphere  resembling  dark city   which is darker  more serious and less entertaining   existenz  has the opportunities and potential  but the enormous possibilities are never quite explored  after the engaging beginning  it starts to falter  while i was watching the film  many left the theatre during the first hour  and indeed   existenz  seemed as a complete failure  the actors seemed unreal  the plot and dialogue silly  unfinished relationships and unexplained events followed one after another  but the last fifteen minutes lifted the film on a complete different level  explaining all past events  the silly dialogue and the unreal performances within a few scenes  and jet the film fails on several issues  probably the best written character in the story is a game designer  who would rather spend the rest of her life in a virtual world  than face real life  this is a great possibility to create a magnificent character  and jennifer jason leigh stretches cronenbergs script to the limits  but fails because the advantages of virtual reality in comparison to the real world are never shown  existenz is not a world of which you might dream about in your fantasies  it is not a world worth sacrificing your life for  its a cold  dark place where the  players  are forced to interrelate with unreal characters  eat mutated creatures and even murder against their own will  it doesnt look like a place worth even thinking about  david cronenberg has been the creator of  the fly    videodrome  and  the dead zone   so its not so hard to guess that  existenz  is a violent and gory film  besides the regular murders of innocent people  the audiences can enjoy an autopsy of a twoheaded mutated amfibium  scenes like that have become a trademark for cronenberg and it seems that he cant make a film without flowing blood and foul creatures  the way i see it  this is the films crucial failure  it is impossible for cronenbergto create a beautiful world where time  space and problems of our everyday life do not exist  a place of blooming blossoms  green forests and clear waters  a place really worth sacrificing your life for  because of its lack of three dimensionality  the film looses most of its possibilities  but stays afloat because of some interesting scenes  amusing performances  especially by willem dafoe  and one interesting and important thought  depicted in many different ways throughout the movie  during the film  the audience is as confused as the characters  detached from their everyday existence and no longer able to see the difference between the real world and the alternative reality that they have created   the matrix   despite of its many dark and disturbing thoughts  ends with a light at the end of the tunnel   existenz  does not  it is a one time experience  ending in blood  gore and madness  a rather frightening forecast for tomorrow  
pos	 seven  is one of the best mystery movies ive ever seen  its extremely intriguing and suspenseful  but its also quite fun  its a serial killer mystery  but you dont care so much about making the killer pay as much as hope they just catch the killer  the story is a copsonthetrailofserialkiller mystery  someone is murdering people who are offenders of  the seven deadly sins   a fat man  gluttony  was forced to eat himself to death  a lawyer  greed  is slaughtered by his own rich possessions    i could go on but revealing any more would give away entirely too much  what makes this film so unique is the characterization of the  good guys  which makes the unseen villain seem so vile  brad pitt stars is quite excellent as detective david mills  the cocky rookie  however  morgan freeman is even better as detective william sommerset  the wise veteran on the verge of retirement  and he doesnt get killed by the end   there is a great sense of camaraderie here which often provides for a breath of comic relief  this is impressive because the mood is so tense  and the fact that it can be downplayed as well as it is here  let alone at all  is quite an accomplishment  the setting takes place in present day new york city but the art direction is able to give the city a feeling of the evil  scary place many believe it to be  the production design is superb  in the spirit of  batman  and  the crow   this film embodies the gothic mood  the way the words fade in and out  along with the freaky nine inch nails music really add a lot to the story on a subconscious level  even the credits are scary  the killers victims have no connections at all  and thus mills and sommerset dont have much to go on to solve the case  they can only wait for the next murder to occur which makes for tremendous suspense  we become just as tense and worried as the detectives because of this thick atmosphere of the unknown  not that many films have such an interesting and intriguing screenplay as this  the only problem i had with the film is the way in which mills and sommerset are lead to a suspect  lets just say it seems a little too  mystery movie   or too convenient in other words  when they are led to a suspect by the name of john doe  a terrific chase scene ensues  this is a typical thrilling element  but it works perfectly here because of the process of the story  if anything  this film is the epitome of twist endings  i dont have to tell you mills and sommerset finally catch the criminal  but the way in which this happens is surprising  there is a scene of intriguing philosophy between the killer and the detectives  and even though hes obviously insane  his charisma makes for some good points  whats even more surprising is the last few scenes themselves as the suspense comes to a terrific climax as the films resolution comes down to a question of what justice really is   seven  is not just a film about crime  but about the evil within man  john doe felt he was doing society a favor by ridding it of  scum   but as justified as he makes himself seem  we must never be tempted by such twisted ideals of justice  
pos	after hearing reviews for woody allens upteenth movie in history   celebrity   range from terribly boring to just soso  my heart lept when the opening images of the film closely resembled that of  manhattan   my personal favorite from my personal favorite director of all time  woody allens films almost never rely on visual flair over textual flair  so when one of his films closely resembles the one time that these two entities fit handinhand   manhattan  really is one of the bestlooking films ive ever seen  beautiful black and white photography of the citys best areas  etc    a fan cant help but feel visibly moved  the film opens up  with the usual credits with plain white font over black backgrounds  and an old ironic standard playing on the soundtrack  but then the screen fills with a gorgeous dull gray sky  with the word  help  being spelled with an airplane  beethovens 5th blasts on the soundtrack  the city seems to stop to take notice of this moment  and its all rather lovely to look at  and then we cut to a film crew  shooting this as the films hilariously banal key moment in the film  where the lead actress in the film  melanie griffith  looking as buxom and beautiful as ever  has to realize somethings wrong with her life or whatever  its a terribly stale scene for a woody allen film  with the great opening shots or without  and my heart sank and i soon got used to the fact that once again  a new film of his was not going to be as great as his past works  though  for the record  last years  deconstructing harry  came awfully close   what the hell has happened to him  the man who once could be relied on for neurotic freshness in cinema has not become less funny  but his films have become less insightful and more like he tossed them together out of unfinished ideas   bullets over broadway   though wonderful  relies on irony to pull a farce that just never totally takes off   mighty aphrodite  is more full of great moments and lines than a really great story   everyone says i love you  was more of a great idea than a great film  even  deconstructing harry  is admittingly cheap in a way  even if it does top as one of his most truly hilarious films  if anything  the reception of  celebrity  by everyone should tip allen off to the fact that this time  its not the audience and critics who are wrong about how wonderful his film is  its him   celebrity  is  yes  a good film  but its only marginally satisfying as a woody allen film  instead of creating the great woody allen world  hes created a world out of a subject he knows only a bit about  and hes fashioned a film that is based almost entirely on his uninformed philosophy of celebrities  so that it plays like a series of skits with minor connections  its like  la dolce vita  without the accuracy  the right amount of wit  and the correct personal crisis  woody  becoming more insecure in his old age  choses to drop the woody allen character in on the world of celebrities  and then hang him and all his flaws up for scrutiny  and does this by casting not himself but brit actor kenneth branagh in the lead  much has been said about his performance  dead on but irritating  makes one yearn for the real thing  blah blah blah  but to anyone who actually knows the woody allen character knows that branaghs performance  though featuring some of the same mannerisms  stuttering  whining  lots o hand gestures   is hardly a wartsandall impersonation  branagh brings along with him little of the woody allen charm  which actually allows for his characters flaws to be more apparent  woodys a flawed guy  and we know it  but we love him anyway  because hes really funny and really witty and really intelligent  branaghs allen is a bit more flatout bad  but with the same charm so that  yes  we like him  but were still not sure if hes really a good person or not  his character  lee simon  is first seen on the set of the aforementioned movie  hits on extra actress winona ryder  then goes off to interview griffith  who takes him to her childhood home where he makes a pass at her  and she denies him    sorta  we then learn  through flashbacks  that lee has been sucked into trying to be a celebrity thanks to a midlife crisis and an appearance at his high school reunion  he has since quit his job as a travel journalist and become a gossip journalist of sorts  covering movie sets and places where celebrities congregate  so that he can meet them  and maybe sell his script  a bank robbery movie  but with a deep personal crisis    as such  he has divorced his wife of several years  allen regular judy davis   and continues on a quest for sexual happiness  boucing from girlfriend to girlfriend and fling to fling over the course of the film  after griffith comes his escapades with a model  charlize theron  who is  polymorphously perverse   glad to see allen is using new jokes  ha ha   who takes him for a wild ride not different from that of the anita ekberg segment of  la dolce vita   following are his safe relationship with smart working woman famke janssen  a relationship that almost assures him success  and his continued escapades with ryder  whom he fancies most of all  his story is juxtaposed with that of davis  who flips out  but stumbles onto happiness when she runs into a handsome  friendly tv exec  joe mantegna  who lands her a job that furthers her career to national status  while lee is fumbling about  selfishly trying to ensure his own happiness  davis becomes happy   ive become the kind of woman ive always hated    and im loving it    without doing a thing  the result is a film of highs and mediums  the mediums are what take up most of the film  with sitations and scenes which dont exactly work but you cant help but pat allen on the back for trying  but other places are really great scenes  the opening  the sequence with theron  which is so good that i wished it hadnt ended  a banana scene with bebe neuwirth  droll as ever   and  perhaps the best sequence  a romp with hotashell teen idol  brandon darrow  played by none other than leo dicaprio  who is so undicaprioesque that if any of this fans could sit through this film  theyd never look at him the same way  he ignites the screen with intensity  and spares nothing in showing his character as narcissistically tyrannical  and totally heartbreaking for lee  who comes to him to talk about his script that he has read  and finds himself on a wild allday ride with him  they go to atlantic city to watch a fight  they gamble  and they wind up in his hotel room  where darrow gets it on with his flame  gretchen mol  and he lends him one of the leftover groupies  allens writing in these scenes are so good that just for them  id almost recommend the film  almost  but what i really liked about this film is despite the fact that its a mess  despite the fact that what this film really needs is a good old fashioned rewrite by allen himself  its still a smart and insightful film  though some of the jokes are either stale or misplaced  some seem too cartoonish  even for this environment   allen still manages to get across that this film is not exactly about celebrities  as it may seem to be  if it were  itd be extremely outoftouch   but about those who want to be celebrities  and how they equate celebrityhood with happiness  we never get close enough to the actual celebrities to see if theyre really happy  they may appear to be on the surface      but we do get close enough to lee and davis character  lee is obsessed with the phenomenon  while davis takes is at arms length  and never gets too involved in what it is  and soon becomes one herself  besides  its witty  and it does have the one thing that no other film has but allens  that great woody allen feel  it may be not exactly fresh and lively or totally brilliant in its depiction of its subject  and yes  as a part of woody allens oeuvre  its merely a blip  no  annie hall  but its no  shadows and fog  either   but it goes to prove that no one can make a film like him  and only he and maybe godard could possibly take a totally horrible metaphor  like the one in the beginning  and make it work not once but twice  
pos	an astonishingly difficult movie to watch  the last temptation of  christ may be scorseses most important film  and yet his most  impossibly abstract as well  scorsese presents the life of jesus  christ  through nikos kazantzakis novel  which details the life of  christ from approximately 20 until the day of crucifixtion  jesus of  nazareth  dafoe  is a carpenter  who opens the film making crosses  so  that he can escape the fate he is subjected to  his destiny on earth   yet  he soon learns his evil ways for aiding in the deaths of others   and subjects himself to a desert in exile  in hopes that he can reach  god  before leaving  he asks for forgiveness from mary magdelene   barbara hershey   a prostitute who is also a childhood friend of jesus   20 after going to the desert  christ learns his true purpose in life   and what he must do  aided by judas  keitel   he sets off on teaching  the world his message  along the way  he meets john the baptist  the  rest of the prophets  and tries to teach the world his message  christ  is also confronted by internal demons and selfdoubt  as he tries to  find his true purpose throughout the entire film  during the story   judas is the closese ally of jesus  his betrayal  argues the film  was  not out of hate  but out of love  in order to allow christ to die  20 he is eventually captured  and crucified as per the bibile   however  as he is about to die on the cross  he is saved by a girl  who  brings him to his marriage with mary magdelene  the girl is a guardian  angel who is from god  and who has saved him from his death  jesus goes  on to live a life as a man  as a carpenter  and does not die on the  cross  on his deathbed  in the final moments of his life  he is visited  by the prophets  and by judas  who denounces his master for  not keeping  his end of the bargain   judas reveals the angel to truly be the devil   and the life jesus had lived to be the ultimate selfish act  jesus  escapes from his deathbed  and asks his father for forgiveness  for  succumbing to his last temptation  visually and aurally  the film is absolutely breathtaking  no other  director has even come close to realizing jerusalem during the time of  christs life to the screen  peter gabriel contributes a score than is  simply astonishing  with pulsing rhythms that capture the viewer  the  performances are simply exquisite  with dafoe leading the way with a  mesmerizing turn as jesus  keitel  although his accent is a problem  is  passionately brilliant  fighting through language to bring the character  to life  the visuals are also amazing  scorsese frames his movie in a  harsh tone  leaving the impression that jesus truly is a man who is  having human frailties  the film  though  has many trouble spots  paul schraders script is  one  schrader uses modernday new york english to tell the story  along  with new york words  new york mannerisms  and new york slang speech   the film also does not focus on the godly aspects of christ  there is  no underlying message behind the mans words  the film fails to capture  the glory and splendor of christ  had it faithfully explored that  aspect  than the dichotomy of jesus soul  his frailties and doubt mixed  with his unmistakable glory  would have been simply spectacular  the  message of christ is confused between love and violence  and the film  merely tells us jesus is great  instead of showing us his greatness  the film is also overlong  it just drags in the middle  with  nothing truly happening  christ is a confused figure  in the sense that  the audience doesnt know who he really is  schrader forgets to give  jesus a message  to show that he truly is the messiah  to give him the  divinity  without that  he is a rambling prophet  who the audience  themselves do not believe  there are several moments of accidental  hilarity  and most of them occur when jesus is attempting to preach   there are moments of brief awe and power  followed by moments of  confused hilarity  that said  the controversial temptation sequence is something to  behold  it is a step in an unexpected direction  one that leaves the  audience puzzled  until the arrival of the disciples  it is a simply  breathtaking scene  with jesus about to die as a mortal  it is truly  one of scorseses finest moments  it is unfortunate that scorsese  couldnt make a film about christ as powerful as that one scene  20 
pos	call me crazy  but i dont see saving private ryan as the film of the summer  a good movie  yes  with chillingly realistic battle scenes and emotion to spare  an utterly riviting movie on par with steven spielbergs best work  no  personally  if i was spielberg  i wouldnt go back to the world war ii era one more time after schindlers list and the indiana jones movies  im guessing steve has a thing for nazis  i really wouldnt be surprised if a velociraptor ate one of the swastikawearing dudes in the next jurassic park movie  all lofty pretenses aside  saving private ryan is the goriest movie this side of a 1980s slasher flick  the difference is  its easy during friday the 13th to laugh off a spear sticking out of kevin bacons chest while blood spurts like crazy  but its damn hard to sit and eat reeses pieces while soldiers suffer machine gun bullets to the head and have their intestines spilled out onto the battlefield  and believe me  theres plenty of it  a 30minute sequence at the beginning of the movie has an army captain  tom hanks  and his soldiers landing at omaha beach to join countless other americans who are already under fire  lives are lost in seconds as the purposefully confusing and jarring scene goes on and on  and all the young men in the audience find themselves never  ever wanting to be drafted  cut to some bureaucratic defense office  where a hundred women pound out sympathy form letters to the families of the casualties  one woman happens upon an interesting detail  three brothers in different platoons were killed in combat  and their mother is getting the telegram today  i guess its an interesting conversation piece to everyone but the mother  so the army chief  harve presnell  sends hanks on what is essentially a public relations mission  to find the fourth ryan brother and send him home  that way  the army saves the postage on yet another telegram to mrs  ryan  one good thing about saving private ryan is that the soldiers who are headed to rescue ryan know its a mission designed to make the army look good  they question the worth of risking eight soldiers lives to save one  and hanks character admits he doesnt give a damn about ryan  hes just following orders  if this was a john wayne movie  things would be different  thered be a phony   lets go get that boy  gosh darn it   attitude that would sugarcoat the reality of war  by doing things this way  spielberg admits the instincts of self preservation and complacency that every normal person has  it makes saving private ryan a lot more powerful than an testosteronedriven stallone movie mission  the movies pattern is to have long battle scenes followed by quiet scenes of semiintrospective conversation among the soldiers  hanks is painted first as a nailstough army man careful to hide his true self from the other men  its not that way for long  edward burns  the guy you get for your movie when ben affleck isnt available  is the impulsive one  jeremy davies plays the translator who is seeing combat for the first time  and so on  none of the characters are fascinating or natural born heroes  but was spielbergs obvious intention  i wondered when i heard saving private ryan was three hours long  how were they going to fill three hours time searching for one person and still make it interesting  there are a few false starts  hanks finds one private ryan in ted dansons company  apparently  danson joined the army after  ink  was canceled   and breaks the bad news before learning its the wrong ryan  and of course the movies far from over when hanks does locate ryan  matt damon  the other guy you get when affleck isnt available   thats when the movie turns into more of a conventional war flick  although body parts and limbs still fly like never before  saving private ryan is worth your time  but its definitely no schindlers list  the battle scenes are intense and realistic  but some of the attempts at sincere emotion arent  the movies bookends are particularly cheesy and out of place  when an old private ryan goes to the cemetary with his family and bawls his eyes out  whining   tell me ive led a good life  tell me im a good man   spielberg was apparently following the james cameron line of thought that any threehour movie about the past should be framed by a selfcontained prologue and epilogue that takes place in the present  much more effective are subtler scenes  like the one where several of hanks men are rifling thrugh a bag of dogtags from dead soldiers  and they make light of what theyre doing by pretending theyre playing poker  this while an airborne division marches by  their eyes full of that mound of dogtags  by not explicitly pointing out that it symbolizes the random poker game that life and death can be in war  the audience gets the message  and even if its not a classic  saving private ryan is definitely one of the better war movies out there  
pos	seen august 8  1998 at 6 p  m  at rotterdam square cinemas  rotterdam  ny   theater 6  by myself for free using my sonyloews critics pass  theater rating      good seats  sound  and picture war is a topic that cant help but be glorified any way it is portrayed by the media  movies  documentaries  and even history books have a way of making the darker side of humanity exciting since the most general aspects are focused on  such as strategy  politics  and victory  its easy to forget war  in its most basic form  is a battle of armies out to slaughter each other  forgotten more easily is the fact that each soldier  no matter what his rank or importance  is a real fleshandblood person and not just a number   saving private ryan  is one of the few films that dares play up this aspect  especially in its unapologetic  realistic delivery  it proves theres a huge difference between battling and killing  the film opens with one of the most graphic  disturbing scenes in recent memory  its world war ii  dday to be exact  and the u  s  military is invading omaha beach where the nazis are more than ready for them  spielberg uses many techniques to create for a total sense of reality  instead of positioned cameras  the footage here seems to have been shot by camera operators running alongside soldiers as if they were just as scared  there is no sense of stability  but of constant  anxious  and confusing motion  giving us the feeling of being in the middle of the battle  and just a vulnerable as the poor troops   poor  is a proper word to describe how pathetic and yet innocent the men fighting are  there is little to no dialogue throughout the loud battle and no prologue to define any characters  we dont get the feeling these are handsome actors playing heroic roles  but that these are men about to kill and be killed for reasons beyond their understanding  the nazis are not portrayed as enemies to be hated  but as people that must be destroyed because theyre there  in the movies  the good guys can run through a firestorm of bullets and bombs and not get a scratch  but in reality that wouldnt happen  the men have nothing to shield or protect them besides some metal flanks and dead bodies  they are sitting ducks and we realize this through the perspective of the wellsecured germans who can actually see who  what  and where theyre shooting  unlike the americans who must fire in a general direction to avoid getting their heads blown off  perhaps the film is flawed by not providing any backstory on the war itself and who the men really are  but that seems to be part of the theme  the film seems to rely on the audiences sense of patriotism  that the american military is  right  and good and that the nazis are  inherently evil   the battle scene eventually focuses on a group of men who have miraculously survived and made their way close to the enemy stronghold  a whole 50foot progression   and begin to inflict some damage  i have to admit that once the first glimpse of victory over the nazis sprang up  i couldnt help but feel some sense of joy and relief  to triumph against all odds is a cliche to be sure  but theres nothing cliche about the graphic  detailed  atmosphere here because it really happened  one of the most surprising aspects of the film is how little story construction there is  and yet the events that take place make sense and are interesting  the plot is practically irrelevant since the film is more concerned with the reality of the war and the soldiers we meet  tom hanks stars as captain miller  a relatively average man who happens to be the leader of a platoon  hes never obsessive or any such generic  cartoonish characteristic that might dominate a character like this  he doesnt want to be there any more than his men  but when he is given a mission he intends to carry it out  the mission the film is concerned with is  as the title states  saving private ryan  through a series of command started by an ordinary clerical worker  it is brought to a generals attention that three brothers from iowa have been killed in action and their mother will receive notices of eachs death simultaneously  when they learn a fourth brother is stationed somewhere in europe  they make it a top priority to have him returned safely to his mother  its easy to sympathize with this situation  after all  no one should have to lose all their children at once  but finding one man in this war is  as miller puts it   like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles   the saving of private ryan isnt just a dramatic device  but a thematic one  his salvation represents the sense of innocence the country  the world even  was trying to convince itself it still had  when millers company hears of the mission  they scoff at the idea assuming he is dead  but miller isnt so quick to shrug it off  he knows the only thing that can really save soldiers from death is hope  and now he has the opportunity to make someones sense of hope a reality  the mission to find ryan gives millers group a destination  but not direction  along the way many things happen to them  both good and bad  a few battles are fought  not to be major accomplishments for the war  but because they encounter german soldiers and have no other choice  the act of killing itself becomes one of the films major philosophical metaphors  the soldiers dont mind killing other soldiers in blind battle  but when they come across a lone survivor who begs them to let him go  they can barely stop themselves from killing him in cold blood as some kind of vengeance for their losses  unfortunately  death is a fact of war  and most films try to avoid it when it comes to the main characters  but here spielberg doesnt want us to think these men are invincible  in fact  only a small amount of color and personality is sketched into each man  and the performances are good enough to make this method work  although the characters are somewhat typical  the actors maintain control over the material at all time  whether theyre arguing with each other  telling stories of back home  or fighting the germans  they never go overboard and always seem believable  sure  theres a zinger here and there  but war doesnt change the fact boys will be boys  if and when one dies we too can feel the loss  even though we hardly knew them  the final act brings the story full circle with another tremendous  violent battle sequence  private ryan has been found  but facing four to one odds  can the americans defeat the germans and keep ryan alive  thats not a premise for thrills  its symbolic of everything the film has worked for  it would be wrong to say the film has either a happy or sad ending  it ends the way it must end  i remember reading a  calvin  hobbes  comic strip where calvin asked his dad something like   dad  how do armies of men killing each other solve problems    saving private ryan  is the adult version of that question  
pos	lake placid is definately not your typical creature attacking people movie  ok so maybe it is  but this one is enjoyable  and clever  actually it comes off more of a comedy than a horror film  well the ending is kinda scary  but in most horrorcomedies they are  i will admit that lake placid isnt an oscar worthy film  but it does come off as an inventive movie that is original and funny  bridget fonda plays a palentologist who after finding out her boyfriend is cheating  is forced to go to lake placid and investigate a tooth  after a man is bit in half  she gets there but really doesnt understand why she is there  bill pullman plays a man also investigating what happened  along with the sherriff and a rich croc obsessed man  they go out and find what is going on  what they find though isnt great  a huge and i mean huge crocodile is living in lake placid  over 150 years old  he has migrated here for who knows why  they have to fight against the croc and try to trap him so they can study him and see where he came from  betty white plays a woman who lives on the shores of lake placid  and well youll have to see the movie to find out  her character is very funny and foulmouthed  which is surprising to hear betty spew words and phrases that are pretty bad  but funny  to me the movie came off as a spoof of jaws  with the opening sequence  and some others  it is not original and is  when you watch this movie  you definately notice the smartness and cleverness of it  david e  kelly who is the mastermind of the practice and ally mcbeal  writes this movie with ease and surprisingly does a great job  the characters have smartmouths  two foul  and some great oneliners  but believe me  dont take lake placid too seriously or you wont like it  but it is a movie that can be enjoyed as a fun popcorn type movie  but i guess it rates above the popcorn rating  sit back  watch the movie  laugh  scream  and whatever you want  even though the movie is r  and i put violence and gore  theres really not that much gore  but what there is might seem kinda gross to some  lake placid is a smart  clever  funny  and scary movie that i enjoyed and i think you will too  
pos	a lot of times a threestar film will be my favorite  theyre usually the kind of movie i can watch most often too  theyre usually not too deep  allowing for semibrainless relaxation  and at the same time  not too dumb  men in black is a fourstar threestar film   hope you could follow that one  men in black doesnt wait to get to the fun  just minutes into the film we are introduced to agent kay  tommy lee jones   introduced to an alien  and introduced to the the awesome memorydiminishing tool that all mib agents use  after all  you cant have alien witnesses running around with that kind of knowledge can you  men in black is  of course  the organization which  moniters all extraterrestrial activity on earth   nypd officer james edwards  will smith   is on a routine foot chase when suddenly the nogood punk hes chasing starts leaping up buildings and blinking more than one pair of eyes  the alien delivers the simple message that the world is going to end  and with that  dives off of a roof  naturally nobody believes his story    nobody that is  except for the top secret organization that not even the government is aware of  edwards then meets agent kay  the man who never seems to crack a smile  and is introduced to the mib  edwards winds up joining the team and is stripped of anything that can point back to him  birth certificate  drivers license  and even the literal removal of his fingerprints   james edwards no longer exists  meet agent jay  agent kay takes the rookie jay under his wing as they go about  regular  duties  eventually a far more treacherous event comes into play  a  bug  has landed on earth and is going to wipe out mankind if these two dont  or cant  stop it  the plot isnt exactly clear  but we know it has to do with a galaxy as big as a jewel or marble being sought after on earth  and that is crucial that the mib find it before the  bug  does  barry sonnenfeld  who also did the addams family films  directs this nicely  its fun  its funny  its actionpacked  a nice summer blockbuster as it rightfully turned out to be  this is one of those movies that is just  fun  and cant really be summed up any nicer or clearer  will smith and tommy lee jones both do great jobs and both are a blast to watch  definitely one of the best films of the the summer of 97  men in black comes highly recommeded from me  
pos	what if one of our cities became the target for terror  what can we do  what can america really do about the increasing threat of terrorism  what basic human rights are we willing to sacrifice to prevent another oklahoma city disaster  so far america has been the leading nation  opposing the fundamentalist terrorists around the world  it is the land of opportunities  it is the land of freedom  but what if it became the new target  this dark fantasy has unfortunately a very strong grounding in reality  when a special branch of the united states military  under the command of general william devereaux  bruce willis   takes prisoner suspected terrorist mastermind sheik ahmed bin talal  islamic fundamentalists across the world take notice  the only warning the fbi receives is a single  cryptic message   release him   then all hell breaks loose in new york  a bus is destroyed  killing 25 civilians  a broadway theater is bombed  hostages are taken at a school  as the wave of terrorist activity crests  the president must consider if the only way to save the city and break the grip of fear is to declare martial law  devereaux argues against that eventuality  but is nevertheless ready to lead 10  000 men into action on american soil  another person not in favor of martial law is anthony hubbard  denzel washington   the fbi agent in charge of investigating the terrorist activities  his staff is comprised of smart  energetic  intelligent men and women very much unlike the usual group o  f moronic feds were used to seeing in movies  hubbard develops an uneasy alliance with cia agent elise kraft  annette bening   whose department knows more about the situation than theyre willing to reveal  but the attacks escalate  the fbi are helpless  chasing an invisible enemy  the land is under siege  they have lost control   a terror is coming from within   whats great about this film is that it is made as if holding up a mirror to life  it reflects reality  and thats why it makes such an impact  edward zwick has created a clever  well written and terrifying thriller that may very well be one of the best films of the season  the director manages to tell several stories simultaneously  and so his film plays on several levels  never loosing focus on its main objective  he is exploring the abuse of power  the distrustful relationships that exist between various segments of the u  s  government  the army  the fbi  and the cia   he takes a look at the complexities inherent when so many secrets and lies are involved  the palestinian community in 1998 new york is treated exactly as japanese americans were during world war ii  there are concentration camps and unlawful interments  all in the name of the  greater good   in the latter part of the film the land of opportunities looses its heart and soul  freedom  was that what the terror  ists really wanted  this film has evoked protests and objections from the arabamerican population in the u  s  and n  y  especially  but to me these protests seem unnecessary  zwick is careful to not step over the line and make the palestinians typical hollywood bad guys  the script is therefore wonderfully balanced  agent hubbards best friend and loyal colleague frank haddad  tony shalhoub  is lebaneseamerican  and it is quite often you hear lines such as  my first boyfriend was palestinian  they seduce you with their suffering  or  they love this country as much as we do   but no matter how you twist this matter  you wont get away from the fact that when it comes to world wide terrorism it is arabspeaking population who are in the great majority  more to the point  the siege demonstrates the injustice of blanket condemnation of any ethnic group by depicting the unfair treatment of all arabamericans by the u  s  military  and thus this film does not serve as a source for discrimination in any  way  denzel washington is dashing as always  in this role he is much more determined and stronger than usual  anette bening is enjoyable and believable as a shadowy cia operative who prefers espionage  a network of snitches and seduction to gather information   bruce willis is terrifying as the sadist  hungry for power  that never looses his connection with the audience  since his point of view is not too hard to understand  the film is elegantly shaped  the scenes are easily floating into each other and the film never seems overlong  zwick knows exactly how to provoke tension  horror and emotions and does it with a rarely observed professionalism  he tightens the intensity as the events progress  and when a plot twist comes  it actually is surprising  it is not a film drained in patriotism  like the work of roland emerich  nor is it a film that portrays explosions purely for entertainment values  it is a daring picture that has courage enough to undertake such a risky story and difficult journey  it has courage enough to get involved in politics  it questions our foreign policies  mentality and defense  i must admit that it ends rather disappointing  as the director turns the patriotism way up and innovation down  but despite of that  it is certainly an intelligent and thrilling film that provokes emotions and thoughts  a virtue that few summer films can boast of   this is the u  s  army  its a broadsword  not a scalpel  believe me  you do not want us in an american city   gen  william devereaux   the siege  
pos	 desperate measures  was something i was excited about seeing back when it was originally scheduled to be released  summer 97  for some reason  it was delayed until hollywoods traditional dumping ground  january  now that its out  i see no real reason for that delay  as its a simple yet highly entertaining film  michael keaton stars as a maniacial murderer whos bone marrow can save the life of the dying son of a san francisco police detective  garcia   keaton agrees to the transplant  only so he can attempt escape  he succeeds  in a plan that of course could only work in the movies  the police force is now trying to kill keaton  while garcia is working against them trying to keep keaton alive in order to save his son  the film definately has its flaws  the plot is strictly tv movie of the week fare  but the acting and direction certainly boost it far above that status  also  after keatons escape  garcias captain barks at him  how many men have to die to save your kids life   which the film treats as such an evil and insignificant remark  the thing is  its a vaild point  how many people have to be needlessly crippled  burned  and killed just to save this one child  whats the greater good here  many lives or one life  if movies really had guts nowadays  i would have loved to have seen this movie come down to a final choice for garcias character  place him in a situation where he knows that he has to kill keaton because keaton is about to kill someone else  alas  movies these days generally have no such ambition to pull the audiences strings in ways which might make the uncomfortable  despite a few silly moments  and one or two really stupid ones   the good things about  desperate measures  outnumber the bad  the main highlight would be keatons performance  the character could have easily been an overacting  scene chewing freak  but keaton underplays it nicely  hes not as menacing as he was in  pacific heights  or even as menacing as he was in  batman   yes kids  batman used to be a dark character   but you certainly get the idea that hes evil  even the final scene of the film  which normally i would just hate  seems strangely appropriate for this film  so much so that i didnt mind it in the slightest  and another bonus  the film takes place in san francisco  which usually means a car chase on those hills that youve seen a billion times before  and for a moment  it looked as though it was about to happen  but it doesnt  and thats creative  r 
pos	what is a scary movie anyhow  is it a movie where a person gets ripped to shreds  is it where a person is being chased by some damned teenager who wants revenge  possibly its some guy with a hook who wants to know what you did last summer  what ever happened to horror movies  where the horror was in the atmosphere  and in the characters  movies like  halloween  and  psycho  which revolutionized horror genre forever  but wait in 1973 came a movie based on the bestselling book by william peter blatty  entitled  the exorcist   the movie opened to rave reviews  and scared audiences to death  now in the year 2000  the exorcist  comes back to the big screen in a version youve never seen complete with six channel digital surround sound  and fifteen minutes of new footage never before seen as long as a new ending  chris mcniell is an actress living in georgetown washington with her twelve year old daughter regan  while working on a new film  chris still stays close to regan  but starts to wonder why her bed shakes at night  and why regan starts to have convulsions all of a sudden  when chris finds out that regan is possessed by a demon  she shuns at the fact of it  but considers getting a priest to help her daughter  father karras  jason miller  is the man they bring in  his mother has just died  and still in mourning he decides to help this little girl  christ  father karras  and their nanny sharon  kitty winn  have to sit and wait until a man shows up  that man is the exorcist  and that man will help this little girl  excrutiatingly scary  the exorcist is a classic horror film  which twenty seven years later still scares audiences half to death  now we get to the experience  the exorcist  the way it was meant to be seen in a directors cut which incorpates fifteen minutes of new footage cut by friedkin at the time of the release for content and time  a new ending has been added as well  and adds more of a lighter feeling to the movie  which i prefer the original darker ending more  the movie has also been remastered in a wonderful six channel digital sound mix  and is amazing  the voices are all clear  the music pours out on you and engulfs you in richness  as a director friedkin has been well known for other films  but his standout film is  the exorcist  nominated for several academy awards it one a few  but was somehow doubted best picture  best actress  ellen burstyn  and best supporting actress  linda blair  who at the age of i believe thirteen does a wonderful job of being a little girl  alone  possessed and unable to stop what is going on  ellen burstyn i think gives her best performance to date  and can be seen currently in  requiem for a dream  to which she is getting rave reviews for  jason miller  jason patriks dad  is amazing as father karras  and his performance will be forever embedded in my mind  to me he is the character who makes the entire film float along  i was saddened when i saw this film with an audience of mostly younger people to see them laughing at this movie  i in no way  think that this movie is comical  yes some of the stuff regan says is funny  but they were laughing at her head spinning  and the green pea soup  come on people this is some creepy stuff  anyway the rerelease of the film has managed to make 40 million dollars  and is still going  hopefully one day they rerelease it again in twenty years for more generations to come to enjoy  
pos	a wonderful little movie that is really interested in its characters and in its theme  the scene of  second best  is laid in wales  james  chris cleary miles  is a 10yearold boy who must live in a home because his father  keith allen  is in prison and his mother committed suicide  james is a mentally unbalanced child  he cant forget what happened in the past  and he dreams of living a happy life with his beloved father  in the home he feels sadly and lonely  one day  a social worker  alan cumming  tells him of a person who wants to adopt him  this person is graham holt  william hurt   graham manages a post office and shop in a village  he is a single and hasnt any real friends  his mother is dead  and his father is ill and will die  graham feels that he has been a disappointment to his parents  there has never been real love between his parents and him  grahams monotonous life would get a new sense if he could adopt james  but graham has not only to convince the institutions  but must also win the love of james  james and graham have to open theirselves  they must get to know each other and learn to understand and trust the other person  james and graham aid each other to cope with their problems  but will their relationship really have a future   second best  is based on a novel by david cook who also wrote the screenplay  the film was directed by chris menges who had made his directing debut with the very good antiapartheid drama  a world apart   198788   and maybe   second best  is even a greater picture  this precise  richly detailed  sensitively and convincingly directed study about a special adoption treats its theme with great seriousness  the breathtakingly intense film shows the necessity of human contact and communication  william hurt delivers an outstanding performance as graham holt  and chris cleary miles is remarkably convincing in the role of the boy  the supporting cast is also fine  especially jane horrocks as debbie  a social worker who is charged to examine grahams living circumstances    second best  is an underestimated masterpiece  its a pity that films like this one are made so seldom  i eagerly await menges next directorial work   the lost son   which will star daniel auteuil  
pos	this is a good year if you want plenty of scifi on your multiplex  from the comedies mars attacks and men in black  to luc bessons powerful the fifth element  and to this  scifihorror that is event horizon   more is on the way with contact and alien  ressurection being released later this year   the story is thus  in 2040 an explorer ship called the event horizon tests out a newly invented gravity drive  a device that enables a craft to travel anywhere in the universe  instantaneously  this is achieved by creating a gateway  infact  a black hole  between the craft and its required destination  in this case  from near neptune to proxima prime  however  when the event horizon attempts this  it dissappears  without trace  leaving two searches for it fruitless  seven years later  it reappears  transmitting a distress signal and this is where the film starts  a search and rescue ship is sent out to investigate  the team is led by laurence fishburne  and joining them is sam neill who plays the scientist that invented the gravity drive  as the team search the event horizon  they find no trace of the crew but plenty of blood lying around  not a good sign    to make matters worse  as they search the ship  they find themselves being subjected to a series of illusions based on their own individual inner secrets and worse  some very bloody events start to occur as they slowly piece together the events that transpired on the ship seven years ago  it soon becomes apparent that  wherever the ship went  it bought something back with it  something very  very evil    the first thing youll notice in this film is its incredible visual effects  they really are eye popping  with some great models to boot  the acting is quite good  with some occasional witty moments  sam neill does a good job as the scientist that increasingly becomes more and more disturbed as the search continues  but a tip of the hat goes to laurence fishburne who leads the team  in a cool  calm  take no nonense manner  it is his acting skills that help hold this film together  the idea behind event horizon is certainly a good one  it starts off incredibly well  but the middle section becomes quite confused and sometimes muddled  leaving the viewer unsure on just what the reasons are behind some of the bloody and bizarre events that occur  however  the closing 20 minutes of the film more than make up for this  producing one the most nail biting  or in my case  straw of my drink biting   climaxes ive recently witnessed  overall  event horizon is a smart film indeed  its very enjoyable and has some amazing visuals  but be warned  the horror scenes  despite being very brief are very  very  gory  not for the squemish  
pos	scarface  a remake of the 1932 film of the same name  is a very gripping and  as far as i know  a truetolife story of how power and violence lead to corruption  al pacino  as tony montana  for whom the movie is named   also provides a brilliant performance as a cuban refugee who comes to america with less than nothing and becomes one of the most highly respected and feared drug lords in miami  oliver stone also penned the screenplay in one of his earlier writing roles  the film begins by disclosing the story of now fidel castro ordered thousands of cubans to set sail and head for the coasts of the united states  many of these cubans had criminal records  such as tony montana  a cocky  fasttalking man who has the look of crime  nearly right after his arrival in miami  tony is thrust into the gangster life when he participates in a cocaine buy that goes awry  along with his friend and partner  manolo  steven bauer   tony rises in the gangster ranks when he forms a friendship with frank lopez  robert loggia   a highroller in the organized crime field  tony also begins to fall in love with elvira  michelle pfeiffer   who at the time was franks lover  of course  sooner or later in this industry  betrayal and corruption amount into a force greater than anything else  and tony is one of the ones who fall victim to this force  this is not before he becomes one of the most respected  and often feared  men in miami  tony gets to the point where he cannot trust anyone  and everyone he knows basically feels the same way towards him  no one can trust him  and basically  no one does  scarface  although incredibly violent  is one of the best crime films of its time and stands out as another great performance for al pacino  although he did not receive any recognition from the academy for his performance  it truly is a very good one  in fact  his accent and facial movements alone are enough in my mind to win at least a nomination  although he did get a golden globe nomination   another element that stands out when someone mentions this film is the profanity  a figure tagged to the film boasts that the word  fuck  and its uses are uttered 206 times throughout the film  which is apparently a record  the thing is  the vulgarity fits rather well with the movie  as odd as it sounds  its true  in the end  scarface is a very powerful film that hits home hard  
pos	trekkies  roger nygards energetic and hilarious documentary  brings viewers into the world of the star trek conventions  the beauty of the film is that it is good old fashion fun for trekkies and nonfans alike   the film generally writes off the trekkies vs  trekker polemic as not worth arguing about   the goodspirited movie trekkies easily forces even the most cynical viewer into fits of uncontrollable  loud giggles  yet the picture treats its subject matter with respect and a certain awe  denise crosby  who played tasha yar on  star trek  the next generation   serves as the host  in the opening credits the movie reminds us that trekkies are the only fan group listed in the oxford english dictionary  oed    the oed cites a february  1976 caption in the  new yorker  as the first recorded usage of the word   unless youve been to the conventions  i posit that you have no idea of the dedication of some of the fans  one pointed out  apologetically  that the stripe on his new uniform was slightly inaccurate  others talked about how many star trek conventions they had attended  several dozen being typical and hundreds not unheard of  my personal favorite fan is sir speedy photocopying worker barbara adams  arguably the most famous of all the trekkies  she wears her uniform every waking hour as many diehard fans do  her claim to fame is that  as a juror on the whitewater trial  she wore it in court as well   every day i would walk past the reporters with a vulcanlike stoicism   she says  describing her way of dealing with the crowd of reporters who became obsessed with her obsession  she doesnt quite understand all of the uproar   im an officer of the federation 24 hours a day   she reminds us  her fealty to her hobby approaches that of a religious faith  along with the laugher the show evokes  there is an equal measure of sincere appreciation for people with such loyalty  and their infectious joy provokes a certain envy of their enjoyment  few other avocations could give this much satisfaction  these people are having the time of their lives   for the record  im not a star trek fan although i have seen some of the movies   the film interviews the various star trek seriess stars as well as its fans  the stars had thought the convention idea was a lark and would soon fade  but over twenty years later  the conventions are still going strong  filled with anecdotes  the show talks about the happenings at the various conventions  at one  the actor who plays q was so sick that he thought he would have to cancel  after appearing briefly  he drank some water and left  they decided to auction off his halfempty glass  joking that it had the  q virus   the guy who won the bidding immediately drank the water and screamed to the crowd that he now had the q virus too  with dedication comes a certain amount of stupidity  not just flitting among people  the documentary takes the time to let you get to know the trekkies  one guy is a trekkie crossdresser  another dresses her cat  and then there is the dentist  the dentist has his entire office made up to look like a star trek set  he  his oral hygienists  his receptionist  his wife  and his kids wear the outfits all of the time  it appears that his workers are permitted to take them off when they go home  but not his family  for variety  he and his family do change characters from time to time  he says his patients like it  well  there was this one complainer  but he had a problem with his bill anyway  there are summer schools for klingon with ph  d  linguists to teach the language  hamlet is now available in klingon  albeit perhaps not at your local bookstore  and they are working on translating the bible  they even sell united federation passports that are real enough that trekkies have used them to fool customs  even u  s  customs  the movie bogs down only briefly when it tries to argue the seriess larger meaning about diversity and humanitarian concerns  sandwiched inbetween the levity  the switch in tone doesnt work  the incessantly upbeat film ends with a singing elvis impersonator  he fits right in  trekkies runs a breezy 1  26  it is not rated but would be pg for brief sexual references and would be fine for all ages  
pos	if youre the type of person who goes on the submarine ride every time you visit disneyland  youre going to love the hunt for red october  youll also love the film if you enjoy cat and mouse military tactics  or if youre a sean connery or alec baldwin fan  or if you admired director john mctiernans earlier films  die hard and predator  in fact  the only people likely to be disappointed with the hunt for red october are those who have read the book  since films almost never live up to the novels which inspired them  the hunt for red october is an epic thriller  adapted from tom clancys best selling novel  set in an era before glasnost  the movie revolves around a topsecret soviet submarine  called the red october  the nuclear sub has a revolutionary propulsion system  which makes the vessel silent and allows it to escape sonar detection  the red october embarks on its maiden voyage under the command of captain marko ramius  played by sean connery  ramius has strict orders just to test the submarine  but he has other ideas  he takes the sub and its crew and disappears into the atlantic ocean  is he planning to start world war iii  cia analyst jack ryan doesnt think so  hes convinced that ramius plans to defect to the u  s  ryan  played by alec baldwin  is given three days to prove his theory and find the missing sub  the characters in the hunt for red october are paper thin  but the performances  thankfully  are rock solid  baldwin and connery anchor the film with their customary vigor  sam neil gives a sturdy performance as connerys somber first officer  its ironic to see neil and connery playing russians  since they are both best known for their roles as british agents  connery as james bond and neil as reilly   ace of spies   the large cast also includes scott glenn  james earl jones  tim curry  and joss ackland  plus richard jordan as the smooth u  s  national security adviser  the special effects are remarkable  but more than anything  the hunt for red october is distinguished by its watertight plot  screenwriters larry ferguson and donald stewart have gracefully navigated red october through a story line full of twists and turns  they keep us involved in the action by unveiling plot strands at just the right moment  the movie doesnt get as sweaty or breathless as die hard  because it would rather tell a good story than hit you over the head with nonstop action  the finale is rousing and suspenseful  but essentially  the hunt for red october is a superior potboiler  
pos	i was pleasantly surprised by this film  with a budget topping 200 million  i was quite skeptical about whether throwing all that money toward one of the twentieth centurys greatest tragedies would make a film exciting enough to see  how much could you dress up the sets  how many models and computer effects could you use  how much more action could you pack into a ship that sinks  oh  if ive just given away part of the plot for you  go back to school  after having viewed titanic  however  i found it to be a wellpaced  welldesigned  and overall wellmade movie  there have been many films made about the maiden and final voyage of the ocean liner titanic  but this latest offering from director james cameron is the best ive seen  titanic tells its story in two time periods  it starts out in the present  when ocean explorer brock lovett  bill paxton  and his team are exploring the wreckage of the titanic on the floor of the atlantic  searching for a priceless diamond necklace which supposedly went down with the ship  what they find instead is a drawing of a woman wearing the necklace  which is broadcast on the news  the woman in the picture recognizes herself and phones lovett  who has her flown out to his exploration vessel on the high seas  there she tells her story to lovett and his team  in 1912  rose dewitt bukater  kate winslett   a young lady belonging to societys upper class  boards the titanic for the ships first atlantic crossing  from southampton  england to new york  she is engaged to cal hockley  billy zane   an heir to old money  and a snob in every sense of the word  on board  rose feels the stifling trappings of highsocietys expectations  and resolves to escape from it all by throwing herself off the titanics stern  but is saved from her selfproclaimed fate by jack dawson  leonardo dicaprio   a passenger in thirdclass   steerage   as its referred to   who talks her out of jumping  although for rose the attraction is not immediate  a love affair soon develops between the two  which endangers roses social standing as well as her engagement to the jealous cal  the story sounds very simple  and perhaps even unexciting  but through solid performances by the leads and good direction by cameron  a good movie comes through  dicaprio is marvelous as the young  but worldlywise jack  playing the role with the confidence usually found in older actors  his is a character that is immediately likable  as he knows what he wants out of life and is charmingly able to handle a variety of situations  girls are going to swoon over him  winslet also proves herself a good actress  delivering her lines convincingly  and the quality of performances between winslet and dicaprio makes the relationship believable  the only problem with winslet is that she does not carry herself in accordance with her characters upbringing  simply by judgment of her gait  i was distracted from the fact that she was supposed to be an uppercrust debutante  rather than demonstrate the poise one would expect her character to possess  she sometimes looks positively clumsy  and it unfortunately detracts from her otherwise great acting  billy zane is cast well as the aristocratic snob cal  since he has a certain look that immediately makes you want to hate him  his features are such that even when he smiles  theres something mistrustful about him  and when he scowls  he is evil incarnate  hes something like a porcelain version of peter gallagher  but a cheaper model  like dicaprio and winslet  zane slips comfortably into his role and plays it well  backing up zane is david warner as lovejoy  cals personal assistant  or  man  as they said at the turn of the century   no matter who else is in the cast  you can always count on a good performance by warner  who seems to be made to play the distinguished gentleman with a gaze of steel and will to match  additionally  there are a number of smaller fictional and nonfictional roles thrown in for color  such as kathy bates as  the unsinkable  molly brown  danny nucci as jacks friend fabrizio de rossi  eric braeden as john jacob astor  and even bernard fox as colonel archibald gracie  nice to see dr  bombay getting work  also scattered about are some of the other steerage passengers who are basically in the movie so you can feel sorry for them when they die  this by itself may have been largely compulsory in a film about the titanic  but it transcends this status by putting these characters in direct conflict with the ships crewmembers who strive to maintain order and assure that the firstclass passengers are placed aboard the lifeboats before anyone else  in this way  titanic possesses a depth not usually found in action pictures  you dont just get a love story with a tragedy as a backdrop  but a very real account of class struggle as well  as i mentioned before  the budget for this film was tremendous  and it certainly showed in the set dressing and special effects  the interiors of the titanic are nearly breathtaking with their elaborate trimmings and intricate detail  and one has very little doubt that the layouts are authentic  with regard to the exteriors  i would dare anyone to point out a film in which a vessel has been recreated with such meticulousness or on such a scale  cameron actually built a scale model of the titanic in a water tank  but only had room for 90  and therefore had to computergenerate the remaining 40 feet  couldve fooled me and everyone else in the theater  as the splicing is seamless  also of note in this film is the way the audience is presented with the anatomy of the disaster right at the beginning  we are told of where the iceberg struck the ship  how the flooding occurred  the way the ship sank  and why it did so in that manner  these technical details serve as a guide for later on when the action starts happening  and allow us to view the sinking with informed analytic detraction  in addition to the more conventional placement in the midst of mayhem and confusion  in all  james camerons titanic is a good blend of love story  history  and action  the fact that the film runs longer than most at about three hours is almost unnoticed as the viewers attention is held alternately by those three main elements  from the movies intriguing beginning to its satisfactory ending  in box office receipts  titanic the movie will undoubtedly live up to the unsinkable expectations of titanic the ship  
pos	it was easy to fear the worst  begin with a classic 1960s television series  add a big budget and an alist star in the lead role  and stir  script  you ask  who needs one  kid    weve got ourselves a formula  that was my fear  a bloated monster without any sense of direction  then  much to my amazement  everything that could possibly go wrong    didnt  the fugitive is as lean  taut and tense as anything the action genre has produced in the last several years  under the direction of andrew davis  1992s under siege   the fugitive grips you by the throat from the outset and never lets go  expect box office to go through the roof  deservedly  and expect an academy award nomination for tommy lee jones  the premise is a simple one  dr  richard kimble  harrison ford  is wrongly convicted for the murder of his wife after struggling with the real killer  a man with an artificial arm  after an escape attempt by some other prisoners during a transfer goes awry  kimble finds himself on the run  his one goal  to find the onearmed man  andreas katsulas  before u  s  marshall sam gerard  tommy lee jones  finds him  where the fugitive surprises the most is the script  by jeb stuart and david twohy  in a genre where one is almost always asked to allow leaps of logic  the script repeatedly astonished me with its intelligence  its attention to detail and its respect for the audience  in an early sequence  kimble sneaks into a hospital to shave of his beard  slick back his hair and change into a lab coat  on his way out  a police officer jokingly tells the man he doesnt know is kimble to zip up his pants  its a small moment  but it punches home the urgency of kimbles situation  and exactly what a man concerned about not being recognized might easily forget  later  while trying to lose himself in a parade  kimble thinks to drop his overcoat  the most likely way hed be recognized from behind  its these details which convince us that when a colleague of kimbles tells gerard that hes too smart to be caught  he may just be right  credit must also be given to the special effects and stunt coordinators  the bus crash which allows kimbles escape is a spectacular sequence  as is a leap from a dam into the water below  the action is crisp and brutal  and never romanticized  special kudos go to director davis for maintaining a relentless pace which underscores the singlemindedness of the two leads  and what a pair of performances those leads are  tommy lee jones is nothing short of brilliant as gerard  because he manages an incredibly challenging feat  for the first third of the film  there is really no  villain  per se  kimble is on the run  and gerard is out to find him  it would have been very easy to turn gerard into a malevolent  vindictive inspector javert  but that never happens  instead jones plays him as a sharp  committed man whos just doing his job  so that when he responds to kimbles comment   i didnt kill my wife   with a matteroffact   i dont care   we know exactly what he means  its not his job to determine guilt or innocence  its his job to bring in a fugitive  this is a well written character played with relish by an actor at the top of his form  the only unfortunate thing about jones stunning turn is that its likely to overshadow harrison ford  and thats a shame  for his entire career  ford has been underappreciated as an actor due to his pigeonholing as an action hero  however  he does a fine job with the less flashy part of kimble  always keeping at the forefront the advantage this man has because of his intelligence  the fugitive could only work to its fullest if the two protagonists always seemed to be on equal footing  and ford is up to the task  this summer has been loaded with actionsuspense films  and most of them have been doing brisk business  however  its time for clint  sean  and various dinosaurs to step aside  the chase is on  my advice is to catch it  
pos	pollock starring ed harris  marcia gay harden  tom bower  jennifer connelly screenplay by barbara turner and susan j  emshwiller  based on the book  jackson pollock  an american saga  by steven naifeh and gregory white smith directed by ed harris    for more film  dvd and books about movie reviews  plus annual coverage of the toronto international film festival  visit film freak central  http  filmfreakcentral  net  now with search engine     how do you know when youre finished making love   jackson pollock to a life magazine reporter on recognizing when youve completed a painting jackson pollocks  making love  quote is famous  but in practically the same breath  he said a more constructive thing   its like looking at a bed of flowerstear your hair out over what it means   it took him sixteen words to do as whole dissertations have tried and failed  equate god and abstract art and offer a kind of backhanded comfort to those confused to the point of resentment by the concept  the biopic pollock  actor ed harris directorial debut  reflects the second soundbite in how it accepts pollocks creations as part of the order of things  and should similarly disarm haters of fine art  arguably more than any other living actor  harris  who also plays pollock  embodies the archetypal working stiff  and his bluecollar demystification of pollocks labourintensive art  both as performer and director  makes for unpretentious cinema   from what i know of harris  he  like pollock  was not born gifted or lucky  instead  a strong work ethic is the seed of his success   granted  its possible that pollock will alienate those same viewers perplexed by the imponderable  purpose  of pollocks splatter series  the common thread between them is a lack of editorializing  the movie pollock is all purposeful gazes and silent exchanges dotted by tantrums  but the motivations are left to our own perceptions  and it is a sympathetic yet not altogether forgiving film  as illustrated by a disheartening conclusion  pollock encapsulates the period in which he fought a losing battle against personal demons  alcoholism  depression  and the general attendant miseries of an artist  while finding a place of subconscious expression  a brief introduction to pollocks raging drunk side segues into his getting accosted by a fellow new york artist  lee krasner  marcia gay harden  awarded a best supporting actress oscar for this brilliant portrayal   who works from the outsidein  preintellectualizing every stroke of her brush  in a scene after they have moved in together and established adjoining studios  she asks what he hopes to achieve on his latest canvas  grilling him about the interplay of cubism and surrealism until he says   you paint the fucking thing   and leaves in a huff  by the time they wed  she has become his de facto manager  it is form marrying function and chaos marrying discipline  a most harmonious collision   krasner denies him a baby  indicating that it would upset the balance   such a union is destined to implode  and i hope im not ruining the pollock experience by saying that it does  while it is never depicted as a very romantic matrimony to startpollock and wife channel their passions elsewheretheir symbiosis leaves each other picked dry after several years  and it comes down to krasner suffering one of pollocks conniptions too many   you are killing me  you are killing me  you are killing me    aside  harris own wife  amy madigan  is unrecognizable and exceptional as gallery diva peggy guggenheim   pollock himself moves on to dalliances with younger women like ruth klingman  the scorching jennifer connelly   hoping  one supposes  to catch the revitalizing whiff of youth  i love jackson pollocks stuff and i am enamoured of harris pollock as well  its scrappy and observant  no coincidence that its minor failings are the occasional invasive flourish  such as jeff beals hummable but no less lamentable scorei cant imagine that pollock  or anyone  would paint to this music  which puts filling soundtrack voids ahead of complementing the images  one of my favourite sequences is an eerily quiet reenactment of hans namuth shooting that famous pollock footage in east hampton  long island  the mounting tension is almost comic  as namuth keeps interrupting pollocks process to reload his camera or take a dinner break  a more seasoned director mightve been too arrogant to admit that not all artists or mediums are created equal  
pos	its been a long time since walt disney has delivered us a classic along the lines of the little mermaid or beauty and the beast  sure  there have been delightful outings like last years hercules  but nothing entirely groundbreaking  with the release of the studios newest feature length film  a remake of edgar rice burroughs creation tarzan  disney has plunged into new waters with both maturity and animation techniques  its no classic  but this new tarzan represents exactly what a family film should be  the plot is loyal to the original storyline  as tarzans parents are forced to abandon their ship which has caught fire  and find shelter in the jungles of africa  but  they are killed  offscreen  by the snarling cheetah sabor  leaving baby tarzan alone and unharmed in his crib  found by kala  voiced with effective gentleness by glenn close   a kindhearted mother and member of a gorilla pack  tarzan is taken into the primate group and raised as one of their own  we follow the young boy through the years  as he partakes in various adventures with his loud mouth gorilla friend terk  a very brash but funny rosie odonnell  and clumsy elephant tantor  wayne knight   of course  in any disney film we are given some kind of goofy sidekick or humorous chum for the hero  in tarzan  these characters fill that space rather inconspicuously  gags that were magnified in other family films are kept quite minor here  most of the characters are amusing without being forced  as tarzan grows to manhood  the suspected antagonist stumbles into the picture  here  the notorious bad guy is the big game hunter clayton  brian blessed   whos accompanying a hapless professor  nigel hawthorne  on an expedition through the jungle  of course  theres the professors daughter  jane  nicely vocalized by a cheerful minnie driver  who will help supply the romantic quotient of the movie  the thing that blew my socks off about this version of tarzan is the stunning animation  directors chris buck and kevin lima have applied a breathtaking 3d element to the movement of the athletic title character  and the fastpaced editing is absolutely a marvel  as tarzan carries jane through the treetops  narrowly escaping a pack of nasty baboons  he slips and slides like a daredevil snow boarder or star surfer riding the big wave  your eyes can barely keep up  its a fantastic accomplishment  the subject matter here is also a notch or two above animation average  there are important questions raised about tarzans place in the world  and all are handled exceptionally well by the screenwriters  there is no shred of doubt left to ponder afterward  which is a surprising plus that i wasnt expecting to find here  suffice to say  this film will have both adults and children thoroughly entertained  the grownup tarzan is voiced by tony goldwyn  who made a name for himself as the big mean jerk from ghost  goldwyn is effective playing someone whos not aware of his worlds dangers  glenn close is also memorable as his gorilla mother  and lance henriksen  from tvs millennium  is terrific as the silverback father unsure of how to accept the presence of a human child  as the movies villain  there is nothing particularly special or catching about the character of clayton  it helps that brian blessed supplies his voice with game enthusiasm  but he is nothing compared to james woods hilarious hades from hercules  a burley guy with a big gun who just wants to capture the gorillas does not quite constitute for an alltogether noticeable screen presence  still  this is one great thrillride that disney has constructed  i never expected rice burroughs work to be transformed so successfully from live action to animation  nor with so much emotional depth  parents  along with all the kiddies  are going to find much to like in tarzan  
pos	warning  if you actually wish to see the film  stop reading this and see it  while i dont blow any plot details  the more you know about a movie  the more disappointing and built up it becomes  waiting a month to see titanic did the same thing   but  in a nutshell  its a good film  star wars episode i  the phantom menace reviewed by vince yim never having been the biggest star wars fanatic in the world  i was more into star trek  the next generation   it is difficult to relate to the mass fandom surrounding the latest installment  the phantom menace  however  it cant be ignored  endless toys lining the shelves  endless news reports  and a multibillion dollar advertising campaign makes it all the more difficult  with the level of this hype  one would recall an overhyped disaster from 1998  godzilla  which definitely failed to live up to expectations  thankfully  the phantom menace does much  much better  while the  first  star wars trilogy told the story of jedi knight luke skywalker  the prequels backpedal to tell the backstory of obi wan kenobi and a young jedi named anakin skywalker  who would become the father of luke and eventually become darth vader   without blowing too much of the story  the phantom menace evolves around a peaceful planet naboo  which is being held hostage by a greedy trade federation  and its up to two jedi knights  quigon ji  played by liam neeson and obiwan kenobi  played by ewan mcgreggor  to free it  the phantom menace has taken a literal beating from various film critics  leaving me to lower my expectations somewhat  common complaints range from lack of characterization  weak narrative  poor direction of actors  the dated style  and too much focus over special effects  still  film critics often apply much historical theory in regards to film criticism  much of which the average film buff does not care for  hence  this film is a lot of fun and definitely an improvement over the previous films  even with the  improvements  in the special editions   there are many memorable sequences throughout the film  ranging from the fast and furious  pod race  sequence  which is a take on the chariot races in  ben hur   and the many fight scenes involving legions of battle droids  utilizing technology that is light years beyond anything made before  special effects and computers are used to create everything from monsters to robots to amazing cityscapes with incredible detail  no matter how many times you watch this film  you will catch something new  the level of humour is a bit higher than the previous films as well  mostly conveyed through the reluctant hero jar jar binks  who belongs to a race known as the gungans  best described as an mr  bean from the planet naboo  he steals the show  unfortunately  being that he is a computergenerated character  tells a bit about the direction of the actors  although natalie portman as the queen is pretty effective  as is jake lloyd as the young anakin skywalker   with star wars mania at an all time high  there is the risk that the film will disappoint  i myself had my doubts   which this film does have a tendency to do at times  there are a few logic problems with the plot  several things are left unchecked  and at times seems to be made only for diehard star wars fans  although the appearance of the tusken raiders makes for more than a few laughs   that  and young anakin skywalker is a really annoying character  coming off as a smarmy  arrogant brat  with such an attitude  its no wonder why he turns to the dark side   still  it seems that many people  especially critics  are missing the point  the film is some of the most fun 2 and a half hours that youll blow in your life  which is something i wouldnt mind doing again  while it may not have the psychological impact of an academy award contender  who really cares  the film is pure fun from beginning to end  and isnt that what really matters  
pos	it shows that america remains ambivalent over the nature of its political system  no major surprise  when j  s  mill in his victorian classic on liberty could not make up his mind over liberal democracy either  the americans are wrought by the archetypal paradox under which they exist  the supreme contradiction between the right of the one and the right of the majority  small wonder that hollywoods most compelling movies have oft been on the struggle of the individualunderdog against some larger collective oppressive  witness braveheart  born on the fourth of july  rocky  first blood  clear and present danger  jfk  the list goes on  theres little of that in singapore  we are barred access to playboy and penthouse both on and off line  though the governments been long worried about the younger people getting  americanised  and advocating individual rights and parliamentary opposition  the people vs  larry flynt locates the political debate within the greatest social taboo in america  sex  does pornography have a right to exist and circulate  larry flynt  the publisher of hustler magazine  thinks so  and obviously so too the u  s  congress which last month threw out a bill to curb pornography on the net  but even with such actions  americans remain undecided  the oscars apparently shunned the movie because it was an embarrassing and sensitive livewire  what they have ignored is actually a great picture  woody harrelson as the lead character reprises his role as a tohellwithmorality  tohellwiththelaw  and tohellwiththesystem antichrist that we last saw in natural born killers  and he is outrageous and convincing as a nihilistic atheist who nonetheless loves his exstripper wife dearly  the latter is played with abandon  conviction and sensitivity all at once by courtney love  who is the real star of the show and really snubbed of an academy award best actress nomination  if not of the award itself  edward norton plays their jerky lawyer  the relationship between harrelson and love brings out another great paradox  superficially they are immoral outcasts whove had it coming  woody gets shot and becomes paralysed from the waist down  and courtney dies of aids  gods damnation  but in the powerful love they have for each other  each standing by the other in turn  the two leads highlight the question how much is the nihilist still a moralist and  in the american context  a christian  if they can love and care  and feel just like anyone else on a personal level  friedrich nietzsche once talked about how the atheist must uncover for himself the full consequences of atheism by ridding himself of all moralchristian influences  to go beyond good and evil  this is a great picture  no doubt  and i love it personally  because it is moving  funny  ends with open american optimism blah blah  but i like it and admire it because it comes from a fine american tradition that dares to raise difficult questions  and call into doubt ideas and doctrines that otherwise are used as catchphrases  there are times when movies go beyond the story they tell and reflect something of hidden realities  this movie is not so much about larry flynt  but about americans and american society  
pos	the ring is probably one of the creepiest movies ive seen in years  but then again  ive always had this phobia of asian born horror films  i remember when i was a kid i was scared as hell with those green faced  longhaired floating ghosts donning their white gownseuuugh  the ring really brings back those memories and its grips me long after the movie has ended  unlike the horror films coming from the west  im pretty much used to the gore and visual effects  so much so  they become rather bland nowadays  theres really no scary movie from the west for a long time  if you have something in mind  please tell me  this japanese flick is supposed to be based upon stories written by the stephen king of japan  which is also  i heard  televised over the air in japan  the film revolves around a mysterious videotape which will bring death for sure to the person who watches it  one week prior to viewing  a journalist and her husband  stupid enough  tests the so call urban legend and ends up having a week before she meets her doom  she and her husband then goes on a search for the origin of the videocassette  to get to the root of the whole curse with the hopes of freeing themselves  the ring plays on the senses like no other horror film today  visual subtlety  minimal music and an intriguing plot puts the audience within an aura of suspense throughout the entire film  very well done indeed  especially for a film that does not have a single trace of violence and gore  now  thats something budding horror filmmaker wannabes should consider looking into  just an idea of how visually powerful the film is  it is in japanese and subtitled in chinese  both of which  i cant understand at all  ok  i had a friend who gave me a gist prior to watching  but he revealed very little    the twists in the plot  leading to an unforgettable climax  will definitely leave an impression on the audience  will have you at the edge of your seat  
pos	deep rising is one of  those  movies  the kind of movie which serves no purpose except to entertain us  it does not ask us to think about important questions like life on other planets or the possibility that there is no god    screw that  it says boldly  lets see some computer generated monsters rip into  decapitate and generally cause irreparable booboos to a bunch of little known actors  heh  them wacky monsters  gotta love em  of course  since we can rent about a thousand b movies with the same kind of story  hollywood must give that little extra  oumph  to get people in theaters  that is where deep rising fails  which is a good thing  confused  let me explain  despite all them flashy effects and big explosions  deep rising is still  at heart  a good ol b movie  luckily  its a very good b movie  the worst cliches in movie history are a b movies bread and butter  therefore  things that would destroy a serious movie actually help us have a good time while watching a movie of lower calibre  of course we know theres a big slimy creature behind that door  that one person will wander off to be picked off by said monster and we always know which persons or person will make it out alive  we just dont know when or how horrible it will be  i went to see deep rising with my expections low and my tolerance for bad dialogue high  imagine my surprise when i discover that deep rising is actually  well  pretty darn funny at times  a funny b movie  well  thats new  these flicks are not supposed to make us laugh   except for a few unintended laughs once a while   and before you know it  treat williams  wes studi and famke jansen appear on the big screen  hey  i know them guys  and gal  from a couple of other movies  cool  familiar faces  so far so good  our man treat is the hero  hell live  wes is a staple of b movies  he is the token victim  we know hell buy the farm but he will take a few creeps with him on the way out  famke is the babe  nuff said  there is also a guy with glasses  the guy with glasses always dies  a black person  b movie buffs know that the black guy always dies  never fails  and a very funny  nerdy guy   ah  comic relief  how can we possibly explain having to kill him    let him live   after the first fifteen minutes i felt right at home  i know who to root for and who i need to boo too and a gum to chew   please kill me   suffice it to say that for the next hour and a half i jumped out of my seat a few times  went  ewwww  about a dozen times and nearly had an orgasm over all the explosions and firepower our heroes were packing  im a man  we nottice these things  all in all  id recommend deep rising if you are looking for a good time and care to leave your brain at the door    but bring your sense of humor and excitement in with you  the acting is decent  the effects top rate  how to best describe it  put together the jet ski scene from hard rain  the bug attacks from starship troopers  a couple of james bond like stunts and all those scenes from friday the thirteenth and freddy where you keep screaming  dont go there  hes behind you  and you end up with deep rising  for creepy crawly goodness  tight tshirts  major firepower and the need to go to the bathroom every fifteen minutes from seing all that water  
pos	vampire films  as well as other horror films  are usually dumb and predictable bmovies  meant to scare us by cliches and simple shocks  it is therefore interesting to watch neil jordans recent film that is not only visually stunning  but has also a plot worth making movies about  based on anne rices novel   interview with a vampire  is a long  dark trip to hell  the film opens with gothic quire and dark streets of presentday san francisco  the camera slowly find particular window  a shape of a young man is visible in the darkness   so you want me to tell you the story of my life    the mysterious man is louis  brad pitt   a twocentury old vampire  telling his story to a fascinated interviewer  christian slater   his tale opens in 1791 louisiana  just south of new orleans  where louis falls victim to the vampire lestat  tom cruise   given a choice between death and eternal life as one of the undead  louis chooses the latter  a decision he will forever regret  everlasting life and eternal youth  promised to him by lestat  turn instead into never ending suffering  damned to eternal hunger for blood and longing for peace  louis cannot kill with the impunity of lestat  but  to sate his hunger  he must feed  and the blood of animals is not enough  eventually  he pierces the neck of a griefstricken young girl named claudia  kirsten dunst   whom lestat then curses with his unholy form of resurrection so that she can be a surrogate daughter to both himself and louis  for a while  they are one  big  happy family   but all things end  and claudias growing resentment of lestat fuels a bloody confrontation  when luis and claudia break loose from lestat  they travel to paris  where the eurovamps santiago  stephen rea  and armand  antonio banderas   who introduced them to a bigger world of the damned  director neil jordan   the crying game   together with the talented director of cinematography philippe rousselot and composer elliot goldenthal has created an incredible atmosphere  as the film begins  there is an incredible palette of colors  beautiful sunrises  lush golden fields  green forests  inkyblue clouds and blending sun  when luis is  born to darkness   everything suddenly changes to dark velvet  lit only by the silver moonlight  the beautiful production design by dante ferretti  wonderful costumes and art direction by malcolm middleton recreate the multiple historical periods in the film  from the renaissance new orleans and the beautiful rococo paris of the 18th century  to our present days  the casting is likewise good  involving some of the most famous and beautiful stars of hollywood  ireland and spain  the controversial casting of tom cruise as lestat is incredibly effective  cruise is energetic  sinister  charismatic  wild and bloodthirsty  cruises lestat likes to seduce young women before exacting his dark red sustenance  with alarming swiftness  the victims switch from sexual excitement to outright horror  as his murderous purpose becomes clear      kill them mercifully  but do it  you are what you are   for do not doubt  you are a killer   that is how lestat is teaching luis  but behind that furious facade is anger and loneliness that he carries through the centuries and tries to smother with nightly rampages  brad pitt is equally convincing as the  vampire with a human soul   antonio banderas and stephen rea are effective  but since they play more or less secondary characters  their performances are almost invisible  the greatest performance in the film comes suprisingly from the young kristen dunst  who manages to create an incredibly emotional and believable character  the world is changing around the little child  but she does not  she remains unchangeable  a child for all eternity  only her wise  dark eyes reveal her age  ironically the films only miss is the script  anne rices novel is a very interesting read  and her script is rich  colorful and emotional  but it is also tiering and too melancholic  at times resembling a soap opera  claudia       is that what i should do  let you go   my father  my luis  who made me    who will look after me  my dark angel  when you are gone   luis   everything will be alright    claudia   do you really believe that   and then they hug emotionally  moments like those displayed above and luis selfpity is a bit tiresome  however rices script is otherwise strong and well structured  bringing up humor and comic episodes  that were more or less hidden in the book  when lestat finds claudias dead dressmaker  whom she has killed  he cries out   who will make you that dress now  be a little practical     never in the house   moments like that are both entertaining and appealing  neil jordans direction is beautiful and sensual as he plays with interesting issues like eternity  homosexuality  love and loneliness  his gothic saga is not meant to scare  but to display these issues differently  wrapped up in mystery  his new  original picture brings vampirefilms to a new height  
pos	this has some major spoilers for the film  so be forwarned  the wont appear till later in the article  so youre safe for now  eyes wide shot  1999  running time  2 hours 39 minutes 2  35  1 theatrical aspect starring  tom cruise  dr  bill hardford   nicole kidman  alice hardford   sidney pollack  leelee sobieski  todd field  nick nightingale  directed  cowritten  produced by  stanley kubrick inspired by   traumnovelle  by  arthur schnitzer this is an interesting film  i must first off state  that you musnt believe any of the rumors of the film  cruise is not a cross dresser  kidman doesnt shoot heroin  and theres not any scene between the two that would suggest that they were aided by a sex therapist  the look of the film is to suggest that it follows the translation of the inspired book from the film was written  the translation   dream novel   makes you thing that the film should have been titled dream film  there is a noticable amount of graininess to the film  rather than complain about it as some may and already have  see it as a style of shooting  i would gather that kubrick got on another lighting kick shooting this and shot with as much natural light as he could  this and the film looks like it was pushed another two stops to add more grain and brighten it slightly  as an auteur and stickler for details  kubrick seemed to be a bit lax on this one  the film looks great  but there are a good deal of bloopersflubs that occur  you see lots of boom shots  in reflection  and you see the camera at least twice  16 months for this  wow  reflection is the biggest killer for this film  their apartment and almost everything in the film casts reflections and the crew can be seen in these  some quite glaringly  one more topic of heated discussion  i saw the  austin powers  version  and to be perfectly frank  unless you know where the overlays are supposed to be  youll probably not see them  two girls standing next to each other look a little suspicious  but i can wait for the unrated version on video to see it the way its supposed to be  spoilers below  the film itself starts with  cruise  bill and  kidman  alice getting ready for a little xmas soiree  they go to a quite elegant party in what seems to be a storagehouse for lighting equipment  which is actually an apartment owned by pollack  bill runs into an old friend from medical school who is now the partys entertainment  soon after  bill and alice are flirting with others at the party  thinking that the other has not noticed  bill is called to help with a partygoer who has had a bit too much of a good time  the next day  bill and alice  casually smoking marijunana in their bedroom discuss the previous nights flirtations  they both discover that they both knew about the flirting  bill starts talking about what women can provide in a relationship  and gets alice extremely angry  in her hazy state  she tells of an opportunity she almost acted on to cheat on bill  not caring about the possible aftereffects  bill gets called away when one of his patients dies  and goes to console his daughter  when his patients engaged daughter makes a plea for his love and affection  he is struck with images of an affair that never occured between his wife  alice and a naval officer  he sees  opportunity  as a betrayal to his wife  and before they can continue  they are interrupted  as he strolls home  he encounters a hooker  seeing another  opportunity  arise  he follows the hooker home  they toy around  but before the act ensues  alice calls his cell phone  he breaks the date with the hooker  and heads back out into the night  he passes a lounge and notices that his old medical school buddy is playing  so he heads in  when he meets the friend  the friend reveals that for extra scratch  he plays these strange parties  while blindfolded  bill is intrigued and wants to go to one  nick reluctantly sets him up with directions and a password  what follows this is a short meeting where bill obtains a costume for this party and meets a young girl  leelee sobieski  and her father  the young girl has drawn his eye  but her young age  and the prescence of her father deter this from happening  he gets to the party  which is to say the least  a strange affair  after partaking in some strange  religious  right  women and men pair off for the orgy to end all orgies  a woman warns bill in disguise  that he should leave before he is exposed as a fraud at the party  he is detained after a second warning  where he is outed for not being in the group  after getting home  he hides the evidence of his evenings events  unable to carry on in his day  he tries piece the events of the previous night together  in the process  he finds that nick has disappeared  his life is possibly in danger  and the woman that warned him has died  im trying to save a bit of the film here  its worth sitting through to get to this point  this is only about 100 minutes at this point  this is a strange film  because despite the events that occur  the film has a strong family message behind it  it will be hard to pidgeonhole this film as a certain kind of a film  its got sex in it  it has nudity  drugs  and many more immoralistic values  but they all serve to show why they are bad in ones life  i recommend this film highly on many merits  cruise and kidman are rarely together for longer than 5 minutes after the opening scene  and the secrecy that shrouded the film should hopefully be apparent as to why it was kept once you see it for yourself  
pos	one fun activity for parents during the holidays is to suggest an old film and see if they can interest their kids  although blackandwhite films are frequently viewed as suspect  ones in color are greeted with more of an open mind  and if you can find a colorful action film  even if it is from six decades ago  then there is a real possibility of a take home hit  so it was in our family when we wandered over to the classic section of our local video store the other day and picked up a copy of the adventures of robin hood  a high spirited version of the walter scott story  nominated for the 1938 academy award for best picture and winner of three oscars for erich wolfgang korngolds melodramatic music  ralph dawsons fast paced editing and carl jules weyls lush sets  the film is probably best remembered for errol flynns charismatic acting as sir robin of locksley  a  k  a  robin hood  flynn  with his handsome figure and toothy smile  charms the audience while clearly having a high old time himself  let me cut to the chase and say that the tape was indeed popular in the rhodes household  the littlest rhodes  jeffrey  age 8  liked it so much that he viewed it at least three times and maybe more  ill let him discuss his fascination with the picture in his usual section at the end of the review  simply stated  the film derives its success from being one of the best of its genre  the swashbuckler  robin  with a smile from eartoear  fights off a hundred men without a scratch  although the picture can be considered as little more than a 1930s james bond  the production values and the acting raise it above that level  robin hood is a classic story of rich and poor  robin steals from the rich and gives to the poor as every schoolchild knows  in this movie  however  he seems much less interested in income redistribution than in fighting for his king and country  robin  with his courage and athletic skills  serves as a role model for kids  and with the lovely olivia de havilland playing the dreamyeyed lady marian fitzswalter  the story has heavy romantic overtones  filmed in the typical  richly oversaturated colors produced by early technicolor  the flesh tones are overly pink and there few color subtleties  which match perfectly the wonderfully exaggerated acting of the players  in scene after scene the picture charms the audience  who wouldnt fall for robin as he shows up incognito to win the archery contest  even if the outcome is so clearly preordained  and  of course  he doesnt just win  he does so by splitting the other mans arrow  watching the picture today does provide some jarring moments  sherlock holmes as the villain  sir guy of gisbourne  for example  just doesnt seem right  even if basil rathbone did have a reallife identity outside of his most famous role  and then there are those wigs from the makeup department  so bad  they look like rejects from a mel brooks comedy  as was popular in the cinema of that era  people die with the most gentle prick of the sword and without any nasty  bloody holes to spoil the wardrobe or the looks  bad guys are banished rather than killed  and lovers go off handinhand  doing nothing more explicitly sexual than kissing  the result is a wonderful fairy tale of a movie with delightful  cartoonish figures  hollywood rarely makes such high quality family films like this anymore  so try to savor the old ones when you can  the adventures of robin hood runs 1  42  it is not rated  but containing absolutely nothing offensive  it would get a g rating and is fine for all ages  jeffrey thinks the film is  great  and gives it      he recommends the movie particularly for people who do not likely bloody pictures  he hates the sight of blood in movies  his favorite parts are the battles and the ending  and his favorite characters are robin and king richard  ian hunter   
pos	swashbuckling adventure that can be enjoyed by both children and adults  steven spielberg may not have directed  he only executive produced  but his touch certainly is evident in this movie  and he knows a money making winner when he sees one  the mask of zorro has the hallmarks of a blockbuster  big action  funny comedy  and the pacing of a rollercoaster  hopkins plays don diego de la vega  otherwise known as zorro  a fighter for the people  he is eventually captured by don rafael montero  stuart wilson   who also  unintentionally  kills his wife  the film cuts to twenty years later  where vega still wants to montero dead  however  hes far too old now  and trains up thief alejandro murrieta  banderas  to become the new zorro  banderas motive  to avenge the death of his brother  who was killed at the hands of captain love  matthew letscher  who rather tastefully keeps the head in a jar  in one of the more graphic scenes in this family movie  with the scene set  the movie goes on full blast  with sword fights aplenty and witty one liners  banderas and hopkins have a marvellous chemistry as the two zorros  playing each other off with ease  hopkins seems to come off a little better  but banderas does some excellent work  as the bad guys  wilson and letscher seem one dimensional  but they go through the bad guy shtick in an above average way  the audience does hate them  which cant be bad  catherine zetajones also pops up as hopkins daughter  and although she provides little more than the usual female lead  she delivers a charming  but one note  performance  the chemistry is excellent between banderas and jones  theres a delightful little scene where banderas and jones have a sword fight  and every swipe an item of clothing gets slashed  until jones clothes fall off all together  the director  fresh from the enjoyable goldeneye  1995  handles the film perfectly  the action is well done and fast paced  the comedy put across well  the cast help a lot  but the direction is still outstanding  although the film is very long  the plot keeps chugging along  and theres barely a dull moment  however  the film is a little over indulgent  and it could have been trimmed  it manages to hold the attention  thankfully  and the adventure and charm holds right up to the last reel  screenwriters john eskow  ted elliot and terry rosio have unfortunately written an cliched and one dimensional script  although theyve bought zorro up to date with big explosions and wild action  the plot itself is barely existent  theres lots of little sub plots hanging around  but theres nothing substantial to bring them all together  the main story seems to be the fact that rafael wants to buy california using gold stolen from the guy hes buying the land off  this sets up for a temple of doom type plot where we see peasants slave driven into getting the gold from little mines  however  this doesnt seem to appear until nearly over a hour into the film  so the film is never quite sure where its going  in the end however  zorro provides action and comedy in spades  it suitable for everyone  so put the guilt behind  and put some more money into spielbergs bank account  you wont regret it  
pos	 rebel without a cause  is such an important film in american history because it is a true analysis of youth in america that everyone of all ages can relate to  everyone feels that they are different in some way  that they dont belong in some places and  rebel without a cause  successfully shows on screen these universal emotions  no matter what generation you belong to  these feelings are present  this is why james dean is admired by america  because in this film he represents us all and his actions are actions that we would also execute  in our minds  we just try to do the right thing just like deans jim stark does  not only does  rebel without a cause  display these universal emotions for all to relate to but it also shows that america has suffered a uniqe pattern in its social structure  each generation looks at its past generation without a strong connection  this is because times change and in response people change  no matter how popular you were once  as your generation grows older  newer breeds look at you in a different light  this is why stark and his friends never could form a strong relationship with their parents  even if their parents insisted that they were also rebellious and troublesome in the past  the teens could not believe this  in one humorous scene  stark  his girlfriend judy  natalie wood   and his pal plato  sal mineo  pretend they are adults  they use upper class british accents and in their conversations they make it out to appear that kids are no good and should be ignored  this scene shows that what was once cool in a past generation is the complete opposite in another  speaking on behalf of my generation  i feel that dean has lost a lot of his coolness from our perspective as the years have grown by  the only ones who seem to still lionize him are those members of his generation  same goes for brando  redford  even deniro  i can only imagine how vaguely matt damon  ben affleck  and brad pitt will be viewed at the mid point of the twenty first century  will dean even be remembered when these newcomers are forgotten  any film that sparks this kind of thought is certainly a milestone in american film  even if  rebel without a cause  has some ridiculous scenes  the game of chicken  did people really act this way    an unbelievable conclusion  how did everyone end up at the abandoned mansion at the end    and a silly romance  wood declares her love for dean after talking to him for a couple hours  it still is a fabulous film  the acting is so believable that it is no wonder that dean was considered the epitome of cool  now  however  the coolness is fading    
pos	david mamet has long been my favorite screenwriter and director  with his distinctive  more often than not ingenious dialogue  and his laid back style of direction nearly all of his movies are absolutely irresistible  some of them tend to be thickly layered  deceptive productions that require the audience to look at the film in a less superficial manner than the plot seems to require in order to discern its concealed message  or sometimes even a concealed storyline  and although the real plot in his new project the winslow boy is slightly more conspicuous than in some of his other endeavors  it is still a brilliantly complex  consistently riveting motion picture about honor  about sacrifice  and about the difference between what is commonly known as justice and what is right  oh  and its rated g  incidentally  this is the first time that mamet has decided to adapt someone elses work  namely a play by terrence rattigan  set in the 19th century  he casts nigel hawthorne in the lead role as arthur winslow  a rich  aging man who finds out that his 14 year old son ronnie has been kicked out of the naval academy for allegedly stealing a 5 shilling postal note   did you do it   he asks his boy   no father  i didnt   ronnie answers  thats enough for arthur  who  with his oldest daughter  rebecca pidgeon   immediately starts a crusade to bring his sons case to court  they enlist the help of sir robert morton  a notorious attorney to help them achieve that formidably daunting task  it all seems fairly frivolous  and no matter how you look at it  the winslow case is not the trial of the century  but arthur is determined to keep his familys word clean and he is willing to go quite far to make sure of that  soon enough  sir robert morton along with the rest of the country becomes equally wrapped up in the proceedings  so do we  all david mamet does for the script is tighten and hone the dialogue  but his style is still fairly apparent  the characters still talk in his trademark staccatto lines and there is still tension present in conversations that no ordinary writer would be able to make tense  but this is not mamets norm  and its refreshing to see mamet deviate from his world of crooks  gangsters as con men  wonderful as those films were  nigel hawthornes performance is nearly flawless  his delivery is that of a dignified yet not pompous man who seems to be getting beaten at his own game  we pity the man  but we also like him  rebecca pidgeon  david mamets wife  who gave a fairly awful performance in the spanish prisoner is at the top of her game here as arthurs oldest daughter  a flailing feminist who gives her all to the winslow case as a way for making up for her lack of success in the womens suffrage movement  the winslow boy is a wonderful movie that avoids cliches such as a seemingly inevitable courtroom scene and shoots higher  it wants to make a real impact rather than a phony one  be honest  did you feel anything profound at or after the courtroom scenes in films like a time to kill  if you wanted to but didnt  this is a movie for you  it is the epitome of subtlety  its powerful without being too emotional  sad without even trying to be depressing  david mamet can churn out some great scripts  but in this movie he proves to those who ever doubted it once and for all that he is a hell of a director too  he is almost a national treasure  his films deserve their own genre   1999 eugene novikov137  
pos	catherine deane  jennifer lopez  is a psychologist who has been hired to participate in a project where she can enter the minds of comatose victims and try to interact with their subconscious in an attempt to wake them up  she has been experiencing moderate success with a young boy in a coma  but the boys parents arent happy with the apparent lack of progress and the toll of her job is having adverse affects on her regular life  as if trying to assure the boys parents wasnt hard enough on her  a new development arises that furthers the strain on deanes mental faculties  a vicious serial killer named carl stargher  vincent donofrio  has been kidnapping women  locking them in an automated cell that drowns them slowly in a matter of days  then soaking the corpses in bleach to turn them into lifesized dolls  just after kidnapping his latest victim and locking her in the cell  stargher has a traumatic experience that triggers a schizophrenic virus in his brain and causes him to sink in an eternal catatonia  the police  led by fbi agent peter novak  vince vaughn  are able to locate stargher by some clues he left while dumping his previous victims body  but they feel all hope is lost for his current victim due to his vegetative state  in a last ditch attempt  they ask deane and the scientists that created the project to undergo the frightening task of entering starghers mind to try and find the location of the victim locked in the deadly cell    a cell which will completely fill with water in the next 40 hours  initial reports about this film described it as a cross between the silence of the lambs and the matrix  while it does share some characteristics with both films  particularly the first forty minutes  which seem almost like a condensed version of lambs   the cell also seems to contain elements of dreamscape and brainstorm  the buzz around this project is that firsttime feature film director tarsem singh  who won many awards for his video of r  e  m  s  losing my religion   wanted a script that he could fashion images out of instead of a cohesive story  and a good portion of this film supports that theory  despite the borrowed elements from the aforementioned films and a script that contains several logically questionable moments  the cell does feature some remarkable imagery  all of the sequences where we delve into someones mind are incredibly beautiful  including the dank mind of stargher  whose thoughts are reminiscent of an h  r  giger painting come to life mixed with a tool music video   proving that singh is as adept at filming strange and wonderful images as his acclaim would lead us to believe  the first sequence that takes place in starghers mind is by far the best  featuring one of the most ingenious traps ive ever seen in a film  involving a horse  which no one seeing this film will probably forget   a zoolike display of starghers victims which are animated like marionettes  and stargher himself in a giant purple cape that spans the walls of his mental throne room  if the film had continued within this dirty monstrous world i would have deemed the film brilliant  but alas  the sequences only become more silly as they go along  despite a painful nipple ring removal later in the film   the cast is basically just an excuse for there to be some moderate plot semblance during the parade of images  but at least vincent donofrio turns in his usual bizarre and psychotic performance  magnified by ten  thanks to the environment in which the film has been placed   in my opinion  donofrio was one of the best creepy actors i have ever seen in a film  but his film choices as of late have been so completely awful  i  e   the newton boys  feeling minnesota  the thirteenth floor  and the velocity of gary  that i have begun to rethink my initial assessment of him  the character of stargher is an excellent role for him though  and will probably lead to a bit of typecasting for him  detractors of violence and disturbing images will want to stay far away from this film  as it contains heavy doses of both  besides the nipple ring removal i mention above  there is also starghers penchant for hanging suspended off of the floor by the rings that pierce his back and legs  prior to his catatonia and capture  which will have audiences recoiling  a sequence where catherine enters starghers mind and finds him recreating the disemboweling of his first victim is also pretty disquieting  one moment also features a character having his intestines slowly removed from his body by an old fashioned hand cranked spitlike device  as a narrative film  the cell is sorely lacking  as a collection of images though  the cell is extremely well done  although the latter sequences in the film contain fewer disturbing imagery than the first half  singh has done what he supposedly set out to do  make a film solely for the purpose of stringing some remarkable images together  unfortunately  a wellwritten script should have been considered too  because without it the cell just seems like any other music video we could see on mtv  provided  of course  that mtv allowed for the use of graphic violence and language in music videos   
pos	when casting the key part of the voice of moses  most peoples first candidate would probably not be the controversial actor val kilmer  the saint and the island of dr  moreau   but he was dreamworkss choice in their first traditionally animated movie  the prince of egypt  the selection of kilmer proved to be a wise one  but the biggest risk dreamworks took wasnt in the casting department  the radical departure was that they decided to use the medium of animation to make a biblical epic  a la cecil b  demille  to move our hearts and minds rather than to tickle our funny bones  in the press kit producer penney cox says that they wanted to make a film for adults based on sophisticated themes but one that did not exclude children  animated movies for adults that are appropriate for kids and that are not comedies  now that is something fresh  let me admit upfront that i was quite skeptical as to whether dreamworks could pull it off  dreamworkss antz seemed to be a movie not quite appropriate for any age group  the prince of egypt may be harder to market than antz  but it is much more satisfying  like antz and unlike the more modest casting of pixars a bugs life  the prince of egpyt has half of hollywood doing the voices  danny glover is the voice of jethro  jeff goldblum of aaron  steve martin of hotep  helen mirren of the queen  michelle pfeiffer of tzipporah  martin short of huy and patrick stewart of seti  you can figure out for yourself who does the voice of god  the movie  which is weakest in the story department  is a cliffs notes version of demilles the ten commandments  the script by kelly asbury and lorna cook has an obsession with touching briefly on every classic event in mosess life  demille took over three and a half hours in order to do it justice  at less than half of that  the prince of egypt rushes through so much material that it doesnt establish sufficient depth for us to bond with the characters  we meet moses when the queen finds him floating in his little basket  we watch him grow up and become best bud and a chariot racing partner to ramses  ralph fiennes   the future pharaoh  moses is a free spirit and a practical joker until he finds out his true identity as a jew    all ive ever known to be true is a lie   moses complains   after finding out his real identity  he sees for the first time the oppression of the jewish slaves that are all around him  after leaving egypt  moses comes back to ask ramses to let mosess people go  this leads to the classic scene of the parting of the red sea  which is one of many places where computers were used to enhance the traditionally handdrawn animation of the most of the production  it is the absolutely stunning visuals that make the movie so compelling  drawn with a rich palette of luxurious roses  blues and golds  the picture looks sumptuous from its first frame to its last  the construction of the temple is shown in blowing dust  and other scenes are shot with the glow of a rising sun  the most original visual sequence in the film occurs during a dream moses has  done with an explicit twodimensional look  the colorful images painted on the temple walls come to life to tell their own animated story  even though it has its weaknesses  the prince of egypt is a noble attempt to carve out a new genre  serious animated movies for adults that are acceptable for the entire family  this aweinspiring movie deserves to be seen  the prince of egypt runs about 1  30  it is rated pg for thematic elements and would be fine for the whole family  how old a kid would need to be to be interested depends on the child  but those over 8 will probably like it  
pos	   its certainly more than just a monster story     kenneth branagh  directoractorcowriter of mary shelleys frankenstein  kenneth branaghs new motion picture had to compete with all the previous frankensteinfilms made throughout the years in almost every part of the world  including the most controversial version of them all  directed by james whale  the dark and stormy nights  the lightning bolts  the charnel houses of spare body parts  the laboratory where victor frankenstein stirs his steaming cauldron of life are effectful  but the center of the film  quieter and more thoughtful  contains the real story  horrorfans will probably be disappointed by the total lack of horror  branagh has instead concentrated on serious issues  morality  philosophy and human elements of the story  and not on old fashioned horror cliches  his version is much closer to the book than all the previous adaptions of the classic novel  the film begins and ends somewhere in the arctic ocean  the year is 1794  a bold captain is steering his ship through the unknown waters  his gole is to reach the north pole at all costs  as the ice closes around his ship  a figure appears on the horizon  its a man  exhausted and on the brink of death he approaches the frightening crew  his name is victor frankenstein  kenneth branagh  and his story is so terrifying that it will scare everyone from venturing into the unknown  the myserious stranger begins his tale  or more precisely his confession  in geneva  1773  he is remembering his childhood and youth  laughter  banquets and parties  a happy life  without troubles or concerns  here victor lived with his father  ian holm   mother  cherie lunghi   his surrogate sister  helena boham carter  and his servants in happiness and harmony  this idyllic lifestyle is suddenly changed  like thunder from a quite sky  his mother dies  giving birth to his youngest brother  shocked  baffled and then gradually changed by grief and despair  victor  already interested in science  becomes obsessed with death  standing on his mothers grave he says   oh mother   you did not have to die    no one should ever die    i will stop this   i promiss    after proposing marridge to his surrogate sister and promising to return as soon as his studies are finished  victor travels to ingolstadt  in presuite of a medical career  after a while his obsession totally overtakes him as he is working day and night  creating life from death  composing dead bodies  frankenstein wanted to create the perfect man  both physically and mentally  with strong electrical impulses  he managed to breeth life into his creation  the result was ugliness  realizing what he has done  frankenstein tried to undo his work  but it was to late  the creature has escaped  because of the epidemic  frankenstein hoped that his creation has died and returned to his home  making plans for the wedding  for a while everything is as it was before his mothers death  but then one by one his loved once are dying mysteriously    whales picture  although powerful  never managed to capture the total depth of the novel  brannagh has more or less done that  another thing is characters and actors  branagh has developed every character and assembled a magnificent cast  the greatest performances comes from de niro  the monster  that has been played by  among others  charles ogle  karloff  lon chaney  bela lugosi  glenn strange  christopher lee  fred gwynne  as herman munster   and now  robert de niro  alone  hated and feared  he is completely aware of his ugliness  at first he is like a helpless  abandoned child  desperately reaching out for love  later when he reads frankensteins journal  and learns that he is composed of dead bodies  his love turns into rage as he is seeking revenge  he is capable of killing without regret   i took him by the throughout and lifted him off the ground     and then i slowly crushed his neck    and as i killed him  i saw your face    that is how he reveals his savage nature to his creator  and yet  he is never quite evil in our eyes and his vaulerbility and his loneliness are palpable   for the sympathy of one living being i would make peace with all   rarely has a cinematic interpretation of  the daemon  approached the level of threedimensionality and humanity with which it is portrayed in the novel  another vital thing is the character of victor frankenstein  in most of the previous adaptions he was simply a mad scientist that trolls the graveyards for corpses and then creates a monster  god knows why   with the power of an electrical storm  almost no time was granted on his charecter  who is the most important and vital charecter in the novel  here  branagh introduces the character of victor frankenstein  establishes his obsession with the very nature of life and death  sets up the intellectual and ideological conflict between victor and the academic establishment  and somehow manages to build up to a rousing and horrifying creation scene  branagh plays frankenstein with a remarkable understanding of his character  on the outside he is strong  ambitious and talented scientist  but deep down he is unsecure  fragile and vaulerble  constantly haunted by the ghosts from his past  helen boham carter is equally wonderful as frankensteins surrogate sister  who at the end becomes his wife for a little while  before death drives them apart  the rest of the cast  playing secondary characters  is solid and nothing less than convincing  visually the film is stunning  especially the makeup   the spinning camera  the constantly buildingup musical acore  the art direction  the production design  the costumes are all magnificent  from the arctic ocean to the swiss alps and dark forests  to the plagueriddled streets of ingolstadt  mary shelleys frankenstein is a wonder to behold  kenneth branagh directs his film as if the script was written by shakespeare     all i once loved lies in a shallow grave     by my hand     and the film ends exacly as hamlet  when the creature sets both his and his creators body on fire  the film ends with frankenstein and his creation burning in the almost hellish fire in the darkness  and a terrifying last closeup on the creatures smiling face  can a man create life  then abandon his creation because its appearance horrifies him  to whom are its actions then attributable  the creature or the being who brought about its existence  shelley did not answer these questions  but she certainly posed them  following her example  branagh does the same  his film is a tragic saga about playing god  victor frankenstein is not an evil man  he wanted to change the world to the better  in this he represents everything science stands for  acting without doubts  never considering the consequences of his actions  produced by francis ford coppola  frankenstein resembles in some respects coppolas previous film  dracula   in comparison  i can say that  dracula  has visuals that even  frankenstein  can not live up to  but when it comes to story  characters and casting   frankenstein  is stronger  but stronger than both of them  on every aspect  is neil jordans  interview with the vampire   although the film is not perfect  the camera that simply refuses to stay still and the occasionally pushy score are at times more tiering than effective   these minor faults are easily forgivable  as the picture is otherwise captivating and stimulating  branagh has probably created one of the best  if not the best  adaptions of shellys classic novel  
pos	 love is the devil  is a challenging film  munundating its audience with wild imagery and a plot structure that disallows a plot  perhaps in an attempt to get us to know the artists psyche rather than the artists lifeline  watching it  i was enthralled with the look of the film  the way the director shot everything like it was looking through a bizarre  personalized filter  everything looks like it is not how life looks like but how painter francis bacon  the films subject  looked at it personally  but while i was engrossed  i stumbled upon my thoughts halfway through the film  awakened from my trance by some inner distraction  and began to try and follow whats going on  exactly what was i looking at  watching this film  i wasnt sure if it was the most insightful film i had ever seen or the most vacuous  directed  and written  by john maybury   love is the devil  is stylish masterpiece for the senses  everything looks originally bizarre and perplexing  the camera angles are ferociously askew  and the closeups are uncomfortably too close  the editing is deft  occasionally cutting away to something bizarre every couple seconds  but other times holding on a shot for so long that you wonder if the audience is not supposed to be voyeurs  or rather  intruders to bacons world and psyche  as such  there is no real story  ive not heard much about francis bacon that i didnt read prior to the film  but what i learned was this  he was a painter in england who reached his peak during the 60s and 70s  drawing hideously bizarre drawings of carnage and the like  he was one of the first to really come out of the closet  and in interviews  he was notoriously drunk yet incredibly witty  as played by great shakesperean actor derek jacobi  hes like a foppish and selfabsorbed cross between oscar wilde and nero  he lives life the way he wants to live it  to the disatisfaction of those who have the privelege of being really close to him  its as if he were taking delight in the destruction of others and maybe himself   champagne for my real friends  and pain for my sham friends   he says one night at the bar he frequents    love is the devil  chronicles the latter part of his life  bacon  wellknown in his midlife  awakens one night when he hears a man tumble through his ceiling window and land on the floor  he walks in  unafraid of what he finds  and discovers a thief  george dyer  daniel craig   bacon gives him an offer  if he spends the night with him  he can take anything he wants in the morning  george agrees to this  and off to bed he goes  but ends up staying with him  for whatever reason  the film shows their lives together  at least in reference to one another  while creating bacons world of friends  like  high art   this film minors in showing a certain group of people who radiate a connection that is not shown but is understood   the film shows the relationship of bacon and george as it remains rather stagnant  bacon is haughty and bizarre  george is simple and doesnt understand bacon in the least  especially not his paintings  while watching this  thats basically all i thought was there  the film has a hypnotic feel  free of any restraints of form  and is shot so uniquely that i felt my attention was almost entirely on the way this film was made rather than what it is about  once the film is over  its easier to piece it together  i kept on thinking about this film  wondering what the point to all of it was  someone doesnt merely make a film of all style and no substance at all  and if they do  they do it by accident  but still allow some substance to creep in  thinking about it  i remembered how the two fed off of eachother  i thought about how bacon was a masochist  in love with cruelty  in one scene  he watches a boxing match with a orgiastic delight  and lets out a squeal of pleasure when blood from the one boxers head splashes across his face  in another scene  he masturbates to the odessa steps sequence of eisensteins  battleship potemkin    and perhaps he drove george too far in his delight for pain  he drove him over the edge  and for him that was love  even if it wasnt for george  i guess that explains the title  a bit  thats great and all  but i almost wish the film was devoid of any meaning  i wish it hadnt reduced itself to making some point about humanity  about how love is the most selfish thing in the world  and it is  if you look at it a certain way   or maybe if it had avoided any meaning about humanity and merely drove itself into being the one film that was truly inside one mans twisted pysche  its almost always best to obtain insights from looking at one mans uniqueness than it is forcing universality down an audiences throat  that way you dont reduce your film to something its just not  i cant say i totally enjoyed  love is the devil   though  despite all of the things i respect about this movie  its still rather uncomfortable to sit through  even at a normally trite length of ninety minutes  the film still seems like an arduous task to sit through  especially after an exhausting first hour  though hypnotic  it still almost seems gimmicky and even redundant at times  as if it were taking advantage of one mans truly bizarre nature but not doing anything deeper with it  as such  i respect the way the film looks  its beautiful and painstakingly crafted so that  along with  what dreams may come  and  dark city   its the years most visually stunning film  in fact  if a better script had been forged  id almost compare it in visual power to a peter greenaway film  complete with similar haunting images that stick in the mind forever  and with a dymanite performance by derek jacobi  it has the comic and distanced tone that it needs  i just wish it had been more than mostly style and just a hair bit of substance  then i would have had something to hold me over even now  
pos	a costume drama set in the 1500s  england  elizabeth is a lush  romantic  political masterpiece about the upset over the crossing of a protestant queen from a respected catholic one  when the court and country are a whole after the passing of the queens  the royal family  so to speak  are upset that a protestant should be crowened  and not another catholic  plus  the new queen  elizabeth i  cate blanchette   was the bastard baby of the previous queen marys father  the persecution over catholics and protestants isnt the only majority in elizabeth  elizabeth i must face the decision to give up personal pleasures  and her lover  joseph fiennes of shakespeare in love   in order to rule  successfully  the country  which she did for 40 more years  both elizabeth and shakespeare in love are set in the elizabethian era  and both feature a queen elizabeth i  judi dench plays her in love   or course  yet  i found elizabeth more stimulating and involving than love  not just because elizabeth features a great deal more of elizabeth i  but because i found blanchette a more powerful  hypnotic sense for the role  elizabeth  also featuring geoffrey rush and richard attenborough  is my pick for the best picture of 1998 award  its a dynamic  important  breathtaking film of loyalty  power  greed  and trust  shakespeare would die for the book rights  
pos	jay and silent bob strike back can rightfully be subtitled  kevin smiths greatest hits  for the film is comprised of numerous references and characters from smiths earlier works including  clerks  mall rats  chasing amy and dogma  so  be advised  bone up on that cinematic quartet in order to achieve the maximum enjoyment from smiths latest outing  kevin smith must be a very likable person because several good sports took a ton of kidding in this feature  most notably miramax  the studio whose subsidiary  dimension films  is jay and silent bobs distributor  others deserving accolades include ben affleck  matt damon  directors gus van zant and wes craven and the mighty george lucas  this is a laughfilled  foulmouthed road film with jay  jason mewes  and silent bob  smith  hitching to hollywood to sabotage miramaxs production of bluntman and chronic  comic book characters based on the two jersey slackers  jays convoluted reasoning is that if the film is shut down  people on the internet will stop insulting him and bob  even though it is not him and bob the people are dissing  but rather their comic book counterparts  no matter  the duo begin their long trek hitching rides across the country  but first they get some tips from a veteran hitchhiker  played by george carlin  who tells them to follow  the book   the rules of the road  of course jays interpretation immediately gets the duo in trouble with a friendly nun  carrie fisher  who offers them a ride  jay and silent bob contains enough laughs that the movies weaker aspects  which include a lame subplot about a girl gang of diamond thieves as well as a buffoonish federal park ranger played by will ferrell  can be easily tolerated  really  how can you not laugh at a film in which our heroes are picked up by the mystery van  and jay has a potinduced hallucination concerning velma and daphne  the movies highlight  though  is near the finale  in hollywood  jay and silent bob sneak onto the miramax lot where they crash the set and are mistaken for extras of the latest affleckdamon picture  good will hunting 2  hunting season  here we are privy to a hilarious conversation between affleck and damon in which the two put down each others careers and film choices  and the laughs continue to grow  next up is jason  american pie  biggs and james  dawsons creek  van der beek  the actors chosen to portray bluntman and chronic  the pair mistake jay and silent bob for their stunt doubles  finally  comes a star wars homage featuring one of the stars of that legendary feature  this bit will leave you howling  smiths obvious affection for pop culture icons is evident in the way he shoots these scenes and handles his performers  he allows them to play it all tongueincheek  their fun comes through the screen to the audience  it is too bad that this is jay and silent bobs swan song  the characters have grown since their supporting role debuts in clerks  but smith realizes that times have changed  and he doesnt want his creations to overstay their welcome  so smith has provided them with just the right kind of exit  saving the best for last  goodbye jay and silent bob  at least youre going out with a blast  
pos	a sci ficomedy starring jack nicholson  pierce brosnan  annette benning  glenn close  martin short and other stars  a warner bros picture the martians have landed in this hillarous tim burton movie  before entering the cinema  i was initially a little bit nervous about what this film would be like  many people were saying that this film was silly rubbish  and there was no point to it all  how wrong they were  i left this film feeling much happier than i was before i entered the cinema  the story is about martians attacking earth  using ray guns  hooray   they generally cause havoc around the u  s and other countries  nicholson plays the president who must try to stop invasion  and also taking advice from his loopy officials  but  basically  its a load of set pieces showing the martians destroying earth  the way people are killed by the ray guns is great  they is a hillarous  and mildly disturbing scene  involving a martian lady  a mad general who just wants to nuke the aliens away   and ends up getting squashed by an aliens foot  and a gory finale involving lots of alien heads exploding  but  most of all  this film is fun  the martians are full of character  the performances are spot on  and the all star cast help make the film more enjoyable  the film is a million times better then the dire independance day  and is a real tribute to the tacky 50s invasion movies  they are is a great score by danny elfman  and lots of laughs  this has to be the best invasion ive seen for a long time  
pos	lets face it  the 100 millionplus smash that was  goldeneye  was not a good film by any means  and as a bond movie was only marginally better than  say   a view to a kill  or either of the timothy dalton pictures  by virtue of nice pacing  but it did revive the series  and granted the producers some new directions in which to take the it  ie  the new  m  is a woman    tomorrow never dies  is the picture  goldeneye  should have been  its also the most entertaining bond outing since  the spy who loved me   the new picture opens with china considering war with britain after a standard military operation is misconstrued as a hostile threat from an english submarine  as an attack occurs  the frontpage headline is already being prepared  courtesy of carver media  carver  pryce  the man is a deluded magnate  a sort of hybrid of ted turner  bill gates  and peter sellars german scientist from  dr  strangelove   physically  pryce even recalls sellars in his kubrick days   its up to james bond to take him down  with assistance  of course  from a wealth of gadgets  including a multipurpose cell phone   and beautiful women  enter michelle yeoh  fresh from  supercop   as a chinese secret agent with her own agenda  with effortless grace  she cat burgles  dispatches baddies seemingly with the ease of preparing pasta  and refuses the advances of our philandering hero  they make a great team   tomorrow never dies  is a surprisingly entertaining and efficient film  given that at the helm is none other than the director of  turner  hooch   spottiswoode has crafted some breathtaking set pieces  each much more intricate and impressive than  for instance  the tank scene in  goldeneye   moreover  brosnan has at last settled into the role some feel he was born to play  last time out  the fate of the franchise rested on his shoulders  and there was noticeable discomfort in his body language  returned in brosnans eyes has some of the playfulness he demonstrated for so many years on tvs  remington steele   as has his deadpan wit  and though carvers motives are muddy  when carver explains that  genius is insanity with some success   screenwriter fierstein is taking a lazy shortcut   pryce makes an agreeable  memorable villain  in the future  they should pursue actors as talented and experienced as pryce to breathe life into these cardboard figures  there a few too many explosions in  tomorrow never dies   perhaps so many they qualify as dialogue  and it could have used a sharper script  though i was amused by the double entendres  none of which i will reveal here  as it stands  the plot suffers many holes  im not taking about implausibilities   and the dialogue tends towards the hackneyed  now that the elements are in place  modern special effects and stunt work  cool pierce brosnan  kickass female allies    its time to put them to use in something truly special  theres no mistaking  however  that  tomorrow never dies  is ideal holiday escapism  and for the first time in perhaps years  youll walk out wanting more bond movies  reviewed december 17  1997 
pos	rated  r for strong language  sexual dialogue  drug use  crude humor  violence and brief nudity  starring  ben affleck  matt damon  linda fiorentino  salma hayek  alan rickman  chris rock  kevin smith  jason mewes  jason lee  george carlin  alanis morissette  running time  130 minutes being a huge fan of kevin smith  i was expecting a lot out of his newest project dogma  it might just be kevins best work to date  its very funny with smart and foulmouthed dialogue while unexpectedly it has a serious undertone to it and besides going against god and jesus christ  it actually tries to tell people that there is such a thing rather than that there isnt  in 1994 a little 27  000 movie premiered at sundance  this little film was called clerks and this little film went on to become a huge video sensation  you really cant meet a person on this green earth who has not seen clerks  it was hailed by critics as one of the best movies of the year and soon a sequel is coming  in 1995 kevin made another movie mallrats that flopped horribly  thought it was not the best movie ever made it was a pretty good little flick  it was panned by critics but hailed by audiences and in 1997 chasing amy came out and was kevins biggest success to date  now in 1999 we get a great little movie by the name of dogma  wow  what a cast  ok here is the plot in this movie  linda fiorentino plays a regular woman who works at an abortion clinic  one day at her house metatron  the voice of god  appears at her house much to her surprise and tells her that she must stop two fallen angels  matt damon and ben affleck  from getting back into heaven by ways of a church  ok now get this  she is told to find two prophets  one who talks a lot and one who doesnt  however she gets jay and silent bob instead  who give us great performances   now on her way to new jersey with jay and silent bob to try and stop the two angels the 13th apostle falls out of the sky  chris rock  and helps guide her to find these angels  salma hayek plays serendipity who also helps her out along her way  azrael  jason lee  who is a demon is trying to help the two angels out so that they can win  bethany  linda fiorentino  has to now use the help of all these people to try and stop the angels before they cheat their way back to heaven leading to a violent and bloody end that will make you think twice about your faith  what a movie  it is everything rolled into one  an offensive  offbeat  smart and sassy comedy that surprisingly has a great message at the end  and ends up being a feelgood movie  who would have known kevin had such a soft side on him that could make us know that he is a faithful person himself  now for those of you who get offended with this movie really should not take it to heart  yes it may target the catholic community and bash them a lot  but it also seems to rather than go against god and heaven  it actually goes with god and kevin gives a message that there is a god  this review may sound confusing at first but really the only way to understand it is to see this excellent movie  kevin goes to new lengths in this hilarious comedy and gives us some great characters with not too much background or study and rather we start to know the characters as we watch the movie  of course the best  and funniest  of them all is the only duo in history that have made me fall out of my chair laughing and that my friends are jay and silent bob  probably the best characters in movies that i like  the starstudded cast is amazing and has some other cameos by george carlin  jeanne garafolo and so may more that we start to lose track after a while  the script was written by kevin smith with many fwords in there of course and a strong emphasis on sexual talk but he also seems to concentrate on what is important rather that what isnt and makes us laugh at the same time as we think  chris rock gives a hilarious performance and gets into his character very well  with some classic lines  linda fiorentino is just perfect for her role and makes us believe that she really is who she is  of course jason mewes and kevin smith do a great job as jay and silent bob with some priceless lines from jay  as well as silent bob   alan rickman  jason lee  salma hayek round out the cast with matt damon and ben affleck in the starring roles  being oscar winners for the classic good will hunting they give great performances here again but matt damon seems just a little held back and to me did not give it all he could  ben however was all out and got very much into his character as well as the story  the movies only big flaw is that it has a few unfunny lines and some slow parts to go along with it  however the direction by kevin and the script by kevin as well as the priceless performance by many of the cast members  dogma stands as a new classic and i think i can safely compare it to clerks  while being funny at times  in the end it becomes a serious movie with an important message that some may not agree with but cant deny it  dogma will offend people  especially deeply religious people  but for those of you who are open minded and want to see some very funny material then this is the movie for you  all kevin smith fans must see   
pos	one of the most popular subplots in the entire science fiction genre is time travel  that concept  although many purists doubt its scientific credentials  spawned many interesting novels  comic books and films in the last century  however  the big granddaddy of time travels  h  g  wells novel the time machine  wasnt written with the intention to speculate about that concept or its consequences  the author  h  g  wells merely used it as a convenient way to express his socialist views and condemn the great social gap between the rich  idle capitalist class and impoverished labour  whatever intentions wells had  the future generations of readers were less impressed by his political messages  instead they were fascinated by the idea that the strange new worlds could be explored without traveling trough space  the novel became one of great classics of science fiction genre and it natural for filmmakers to use it as inspiration  first of them was george pal  who in 1960 directed film which would  through the years  become genre classic of its own  the plot revolves about george  rod taylor   victorian scientist who discovered the way to travel through the fourth dimension  time  at the eve of the new 20th century  george gathers his friends in order to present them his invention  machine that would enable him to travel through time  they are skeptical  but that doesnt prevent george from carrying out his plan and traveling into the future  at first  he travels slowly  seeing london as it changes through the years and three world wars  finally  after witnessing world war three  he travels far into the future  hoping that he would cease to witness wars and senseless destructions  when he finally reaches year 802  701 ad  at first glance  new world looks like utopia  humanity consists of young  beautiful  but idle eloi  people who are fed  clothed and taken care of by unseen machines  but  weena  yvette mimieux   eloi woman  tells george about another side of the coin  in the night  her people is preyed upon by morlocs  humanoid creatures from the underworld  the time machine became the cinematic classic for the very same reason the novel became the classic in science fiction literature  the fantastic concept was a brilliant way for the authors to talk about burning issues and fears of their respective times  for h  g  wells it was frightening threat of class struggle  for george pal and his screenwriter david duncan  who produced the film in the worst days of the cold war  it was the constant and more imminent threat of nuclear holocaust  underlined with the negative references to war throughout the movie  even the modern audience  which would be tempted to discard the film as oldfashioned  could find some values in its universal messages  fit for each era  compared with the genre films of today  the time machine is even better  and could serve as a good example how to make intelligent  thoughtprovoking films  of course  since this is hollywood product after all  the time machine delivers such concepts in the form of classic adventure  sometimes sacrificing plausibility for the sake of attractiveness  for example  it is hard to imagine that someone would be able to understand perfect english million years in future  same is with morlocs degenerating into mutant monsters  while eloi remain undistinguished from the people of today  some of the final scenes  that turn victorian scientist into an action superhero  are also rather unconvincing  but  on the other hand  the film is very well directed  cleverly paced and the special effects  although definitely oldfashioned  are more than adequate for this kind of picture  the acting is good  with rod taylor in one of his most remembered roles  while in the same time alan young brings rather memorable performance as georges trusted friend filby  yvette mimieux  who plays weena  on the other hand  would be remembered more by her looks than by the complexity of her role  however  despite all those flaws  the time machine is a very good piece of cinema  something that connoisseurs of quality sciencefiction films sorely miss these days  
pos	if this keeps up  jane austen  sense and sensibility  pride and prejudice  may have to apply for posthumous membership to the screen writers guild  yet another novel of hers has made the transition to the silver screen  mansfield park is a turn of the century  18th century going on 19th  story about love among the classes as well as an examination into proper society and family ties  ten year old fanny price  hannah taylorgordon  jakob the liar   taken from her mother and father and the poverty in which they dwell  is sent to live with her aunt and the privileged class at mansfield park  under the stern patriarchal hand of her uncle  sir thomas bertram  harold pinter  mojo  spending her days reminded of her lower status  she also invents and writes fanciful stories during her private times  fanny eventually grows to become a beautiful  intelligent  and engaging heroine  quite unlike the original character which ms  austen originally penned in her novel   writerdirector patricia rozema  when night is falling  is responsible for the textual changes  from a purely dramatic perspective  the revision makes perfect sense and improves the films audience appeal  what ms  rozema has done is to infuse the main character with much of ms  austens own personality by including excerpts from the authors journals  giving that dialogue to fanny  the result is a central character that is immediately appealing  as the grown fanny  australian actress frances oconnor  all about adam  does wonderfully textured work  at times  ms  rozema has fanny address the camera directly to communicate many of the novels more introspective observations  this is a difficult device to work seamlessly into a period film and it is to ms  oconnors credit that it works as well as it does  the central theme which gives the story its legs in an old one    whether it is better to marry for love or for social standing  fanny has fallen in love with her cousin edmund  jonny lee miller  plunkett  macleane  who appears fond of her as well  his attentions are soon divided as the stylish and socially acceptable mary crawford  embeth davidtz  bicentennial man  enters the picture along with her equally acceptable brother henry  alessandro nivola  inventing the abbotts  who eventually sets his romantic sights upon fanny  while mary and henry are evidently less than sincere in their affections  their presence does provide the movie and the main characters with the necessary conflict that keeps our interest until the films appropriately austenlike ending  other thematic devices include a awkwardly inserted reference to the source of the wealth of mansfield park    the slave trade  there is also a hint of both lesbianism and incest but neither is carried very far and is soon forgotten  the motivation for marriage remains the primary thematic thrust  fannys cousin  maria bertram  victoria hamilton  persuasion  is an example of one making a poor match  marrying a welltodo fool who is able to make her comfortable  but never happy  fannys own mother  trapped in her chosen life of squalor warns fanny by admitting that her situation is due to the fact that she  married for love   fanny  given those two terrible examples  and faced with the same choice is understandably indecisive as to which way to lean  the spiritual answer  of course  lies in the middle of those two extremes  marriage is not a cold  calculating decision based upon selfpreservation  neither is it a senseless decision made in the warm afterglow of a passionate embrace  in the purest sense  marriage forms an insoluble union whereby two people agree to function as one   and said  for this cause shall a man leave father and mother  and shall cleave to his wife  and they twain shall be one flesh   matthew 19  5 kjv love and logic can be combined  gods word contains both  so does a marriage based upon his truth  
pos	saving private ryan  dreamworks  running time  2 hours 48 minutes  starring tom hanks  edward burns  tom sizemore and matt damon directed by steven spielberg already being hailed as the greatest war movie ever made   saving private ryan is an harrowing  saddening and riveting movie  it may not be the greatest war movie in my opinion  but its certainly one of the best war movies made  and one of the best of 1998  tom hanks stars as a captain whos troop has to find private ryan  damon  who has a ticket home because his three brothers have been killed in action  action  drama and even some humour occur as the troop journeys through wartime france to find him  after the disappointing amistad  1997  spielberg has returned to form with this excellent movie  im not the war movie genre biggest fan  but i found this film to be gripping  and very scary  thanks to the excellent cast  direction and terrifying battle scenes  tom hanks is superb  straying away from his usually soppy dramatic roles  such as in forrest gump  1994   this time  he plays the role with gritty realism  and is much better for it  occasionally he overacts the sentimentally  but he generally delivers a fine performance  edward burns  looking a lot like armageddons ben affleck  also delivers a top notch performance  moving away from his roles in films such as shes the one  1996  tom sizemore makes less of an impact  but is still watchable  and matt damon reinforcing his position as one of the finest young actors working today  spielberg directs very well  putting the audience right in the heart of the action of the battle scenes  and what battle scenes they are  theyre truly terrifying  yet the audience cannot drag their eyes away from the screen  the battle scenes are filmed with a jerky handheld camera  and the panic and confusion felt by the soldiers is emphasized by this technique  the gore and violence isnt spared either  which body parts flying  and blood spurting  this film is certainly not for kids and sensitive adults  other factors help saving private ryan be a masterpiece of 90s film making  the cinematography is excellent  and the music score by john williams is also superb  it is never intrusive  and adds to the drama onscreen  but while they are thousands of good things great about private ryan  theres one major flaw that detracts the genius of the film  the writing  it is unusually flat  with many of the speeches strangely weak  the film never really makes any profound statements  this is not a major gripe  as private ryan is a film of action  not words  still  the script could of been a lot better  thankfully  the actors help partly to rectify the situation with their great delivery of their lines  saving private ryan  in the end  is an excellent film  but not the greatest war movie due to its weak acting  this film should be viewed by everyone who has the stomach for it  as its rewarding and extremely worthwhile  it really shouldnt be missed  and dreamworks skg has finally found its first hit movie  
pos	50s aliens vs  earth idea revamped  if you have been following the movie news over the net  you could not have escaped the hype over id4  it promises to be the summer film of the year and it has all the elements necessary  id4 opened in the us on 2nd of july  and up till now  only after a week of release  it has nearly touched the us100 million mark  a phenomenon last observed when jurassic park was released back in 1993  the premise of the movie is disgustingly simple  earth defends itself against the aliens  a typical and highly popular 50s hollywood theme which manifested itself in many films produced in that era  the movie opens via star wars  however unoriginal it may be  it worked  the aliens have sent a large mother ship  supposedly to be 14 size of the moon  to attack earth by deploying attack ships 15 miles in radius to all the major cities on earth  the us president  pullman  does not know of the aliens intention but soon finds out when david  goldblum  a scientist  discovers that the aliens are counting down to a synchronised attack on all the major cities  capt  hiller  smith   a hotshot f18 pilot are one of the hundreds assigned to take out the hovering alien attack ship over washington dc  his squadron came under heavy alien fire after discovering that their weapons were useless against the invaders  he crash lands after a spectacular 1on1 chase over the grand canyon  one of the many highlights of the movie  id4 features many characters and we are shown the impact on them as the story progresses  acting on the whole was ok although i thought that bill pullman was a bit unsuitable for the president role but he did make a very rousing speech before sending his troops into battle  do we smell a bit of braveheart here     no prizes for guessing how id4 ends  its just plain obvious  id4 borrows heavily from star wars  return of the jedi  alien and in some parts of the movie  i could even sense a bit of xfiles on screen  if i were to critically review this movie  id4 is full of plot holes  corny dialogue  and ridiculously dumb aliens  however below that waferthin plot and onscreen flaws  id4 scored well in playing with the appealing idea of the entire world giving up their petty differences to unite themselves as one force against the alien invasion  an idea which will have the audience strongly rooting for the united front throughout the movie  thus maintaining a screenviewer interaction that virtually render any holes in the movie acceptable  no matter how ridiculous  id4 was produced under a modest budget of us68 million  a film of such magnitude would have easily been another waterworld but director roland emmerich  universal soldier  stargate  and producer dean devlin assembled a team which did their own special effects rather than commissioning it to ilm or any other special effects company  some of the effects are not too good but most of it are very believable  especially the epic standoff between 150 f18s and 250 alien saucers  reminiscence of the classic space battle featured in return of the jedi  id4 is a movie for all  though there are many explosions and implied deaths  there are no gory scenes of human destruction  thus young kids should be able to take it  sit back and dont be too critical  chances are you will be absorbed into the movie just as i was  if you are not planning to watch any movies this year  please  at least make time for this one  this film is best watched on the bigscreen  
pos	the trailers and the beginning of the move sum up this plot very easily  three filmmakers venture into the woods of maryland to track down the legend of the blair witch for a documentary they are making  they disappear and their footage is discovered a year later buried underneath the foundation of a one hundred year old house  from there  things become a little more complicated  i can say  with absolute assurance  that no film has ever had quite the impact that this little movie has had on me  although i know it was all a staged  mockumentary   theres no denying the psychological impact this film will leave on you  i didnt feel much upon initially watching it  i just thought it was an interesting film with some pretty creepy parts  i never even dreamed that thirty minutes after the film had ended i would be frightened out of my mind just discussing it with a friend  ive gotten chills every time ive brought it up since then  this is not a movie that hits you right away  instead this is a movie that sits at the base of your spine  waits until you think everything is okay  then it slowly starts to creep its way up into your mind  this is truly the most frightening movie i have ever had the pleasure to watch  the film is comprised of home video and 16mm camera footage that the documentarians supposedly shot for their blair witch film  so dont expect any steadicam shots or fancy camera work  this is as real as it gets folks  i dont recommend sitting too close to the theater screen though  because i guarantee you will get motion sickness from the constant movement of the camera  the performances of the three lead actors in the film are so real  you may find yourself questioning whether all of this has really happened or not  this is definitely a movie that warrants home video viewing  especially due to the fact that the bulk of the movie was shot with a standard home video camera  the reality of the images will strike frighteningly close to home when viewed as actual video instead of the tapetofilm transfer done for the big screen  word has it that a special edition dvd with boatloads of extras  hours of deleted scenes  alternate endings  commentary  the scifi channel special  and others  is being planned for release  i urge artisan entertainment to forge ahead with this plan and give us what could be the dvd to rival all dvds  i know ill be first in line to buy one  r 
pos	apocalypse now  based on the novel  hearts of darkness   is an extremely striking  gripping  and horrifying depiction of the vietnam war from another angle  a long debate has surrounded this movie as if it is actually an antiwar film  in many ways  this debate could go either way  apocalypse now is probably one of the most memorable vietnam war films ever made  in addition  now film has gone to the extremes that this film does  a disturbing look at the corruption and terrifying effects of the most devastating war of recent years  apocalypse now follows the mission captain benjamin l  willard  played by martin sheen  to seek out and eliminate colonel walter e  kurtz  a green beret who is thought to have gone insane and set up his own militant base in cambodia  captain willard is ordered to assassinate kurtz with  extreme prejudice  because he has been deemed a murderer  willard accepts his mission  but not while pondering the accusation  accusing someone of murder in this situation is like  handing out speeding tickets at the indy 500   as he puts it  it doesnt make too much sense  escorting him on his mission are a group of men who operate a riverboat  the men are chef  frederic forrest   chief  albert hall   lance johnson  sam bottoms  and mr  clean  a fifteen yearold laurence fishburne   willard is ordered not to let them know exactly what his mission is  but they all know it is something big  the men encounter many exciting  dangerous and bizarre situations  but no situation is more bizarre than the infamous napalm scene with a very eccentric robert duvall as lieutenant colonel kilgore  kilgore decides to attack and overtake a certain beach area so that his men can surf  surf  this is all inspired when kilgore is able to meet the famed california surfer lance johnson  duvalls portrayal as lieutenant colonel kilgore is terrific  and  he provides a number of memorable quotes  eventually  captain willard encounters colonel kurtzs frightening community full of strange things everywhere you look  especially his followers  one of his main followers is a freelance photographer  dennis hopper  who attempts to convey the situations to willard  but willard cannot understand the madness that encompasses the colony  kurtz is actually well aware of willards mission  and refers to him as  an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill   yet willard is intent on completing his mission  no matter what shocking things kurtz does  apocalypse now  possibly one of the greatest films ever made  is a stunning vision into the madness that corresponds to the vietnam war  a movie that will hypnotize you with its brilliant cinematography  apocalypse now is an outstanding epic drama about the controversial and horrifying ravages of war  definitely on the  do not miss  list  be prepared for a very memorable film  
pos	sometimes i find 19th century british costume dramas a little hard to relate to  its not the time or the distance  its the rules and conventions of a social class that deserves resentment rather than sympathy  yet somehow  the movies are all well made and i always get caught up in the story  the wings of the dove fits the pattern  kate  helena bonham carter  and merton  linus roache  are in love  merton  a newspaper writer  would like to marry kate  but kates  job   if you will  is to be a member of the british upper class  her father lost all of her familys money  but a wealthy aunt agreed to take care of her until she married a nice rich man  naturally  a newspaper writers wages dont count as  rich   kate leads him on  but she always ends up giving him the cold shoulder  ultimately because hes not marriageable  kates american friend millie  alison elliot  stops in for a visit on her way to venice  at a party  millie catches a glimpse of merton and likes what she sees  kate realizes that if merton were introduced to millie  he might forget about her  it appears that she is trying to spare him from the heartbreak of their inevitable breakup  merton sees what kate is doing and resents her for it  he is still in love with kate  and will accept no substitute  the three of them  along with a fourth friend  elizabeth mcgovern  end up on holiday in venice together  where their interactions are quite complicated  lets sum up  millie has fallen for merton  merton has no feelings for millie because he is still in love with kate  kate loves him but cant marry him  so on the one hand shes trying to match him up with someone who will make him happy  but on the other hand shes jealous of them as a couple  a clear solution presents itself to kate when she realizes that millie is very sick  dying  in fact  at this point she decides that merton should marry millie until she dies  millie will leave her money to merton  who will then be rich enough to marry kate  she lets merton know of her schemes and  since it will help him win kate  he reluctantly agrees  kate leaves venice so that the two ms can be alone together  merton finds that pretending to love millie is a lot like actually loving her  hes not sure he can separate the two  kate finds that shes not so sure she really wants her merton falling in love with and marrying anyone else  the brilliant scheme proves to be painful to all involved  without revealing the details  suffice it to say that the situation ends badly  the title refers to the object of mertons vain hope that something might lift him from his predicament  one is left with feelings of regret and despair  what started as such a promising relationship was damaged by greed  anger  and jealousy  an interesting thought struck me after the movie was over  and that is that the wings of the dove almost fits the story line of a film noir  a couple conspires to cheat someone out of their money so they can live happily ever after  their involvement in the deception makes each less attractive to the other  and after a few things go wrong  the whole idea seems like an awful liferuining mistake  i wouldnt call the wings of the dove a film noir  but the comparison is interesting  as i have acknowledged before  i am not a wonderful judge of acting  but i liked the performances from roache and elliot  roache successfully conveyed his characters ambivalence toward millie  near the end  he hugs her  at first staring into space  as if hes thinking about his plan with kate  then giving that up to fully embrace millie  millies part didnt require as much range  but elliot gave her the necessary bubbly personality that made her irresistible  i will probably file away the wings of the dove in the same lowtraffic corner of my mind as sense and sensibility and persuasion  their settings are far removed from my personal experience  geographically  historically  and socially  still  the movies are well made and the stories inevitably win me over  
pos	earlier this year  the movie holy man opened to a meager box office receipt and to indifference from audiences and critics  a real charmer of a movie  its possible that the subject matter was too hip or trendy to attract any real audience  now  at the end of 1998  comes waking ned devine  a comedy which inspires the same vein of easygoing laughter  theres no substantial difference between the two other than a more refined atmosphere  they strike all the same chords  but still  ned devine is a movie worth seeing  the plot is interesting and robust  the latest lottery winner is ned devine  jimmy keogh   of tullymore  ireland  neds prize is over six million pounds  but the shock of winning killed the poor old man  and the check remains unclaimed  enter jackie oshea  ian bannen  and michael osullivan  david kelly   the only two residents who are aware the winner is in their village  the two men eventually find the ticket  and decide that if michael can convince the lotto authorities that hes actually ned  the entire town can reap the benefits  their only adversary is an ancient old woman  eileen dromey  who sees more profit in reporting the fraud  ian bannen and david kelly truly shine as jackie and michael  jackie  stocky and large  is the brains behind the operation  michael  scrawny and short  is the method man  the two contrast each other delightfully  and at the same time remain sympathetic to the audience  every viewer is sure to like both of them  there are other minor subplots included as well  such as an unlikely romance between a local girl and the town pig farmer  this appears quite inconsequential until the end  and even with a startling revelation its a tad bit unnecessary  overall  waking ned devine has a predictable outcome  and plot twists are never really taken seriously  the ending  a very hilarious and very ironic twist of fate  somehow fits with the twisted sense of humor the movie exhibits throughout  the kirk jones script is indeed offthecuff  in a way  waking ned devine is exactly like the class of people it presents  warm  friendly  outgoing  and jovial  its the perfect kind of comedy  a real gem of a tale that sets up a trivial plot outline by which to introduce a sympathetic cast of characters and a string of jokes  theres nothing remotely serious or grounded for more than a moment or two  because the spirit of ned devine is a lighthearted one  indeed  its one of the years best feelgood movies  91 minutes of unrestrained joy that no one should miss  
pos	susan grangers review of  the perfect storm   warner bros    more people die on fishing boats  per capita  than working in any other job in the u  s   every journey a fishing boat makes can be an allornothing risk  it is life at its most exhilarating and its most terrifying   says director wolfgang petersen   das boot    and thats just what he captures in this true story of struggle and humanity aboard a swordfishing boat  the andrea gail  sailing out of gloucester  massachusetts  in late october  1991  early in bill wittliffs screenplay  based on sebastian jungers bestseller  we meet the crew of six  the veteran captain  george clooney  is frustrated because he cant find fish on the grand banks  yet a rival skipper  mary elizabeth mastrantonio  brings in huge hauls  his righthand man  mark walhberg  needs money to build a new life with his girlfriend  diane lane   theres a devoted dad  john c  reilly  with an estranged wife and son  a freespirited jamaican  allen payne   a lonely guy  john hawkes   and a lastminute replacement with a bad attitude  william fichtner   the skippers convinced he can change his bad luck streak in remote flemish cap  and he does  but then trouble begins  theres a rogue wave  a man overboard and the ice machine breaks  with 60  000 lb  of fish that could spoil  but thats minor compared with a deadly monster storm approaching which a boston meteorologist describes as  a disaster of epic proportions  that also threatens the lives of a coast guard helicopter rescue team trying to save three people stranded on a sailboat on the high seas  its formulaic and there are cliches  but the walls of water  created by fluid dynamics simulating reallife phenomena  are awesome  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   the perfect storm  is a terrifying  suspenseful 8  hang on for the whiteknuckle thrill ride of the summer  
pos	just in time for halloween and christmas  the reissue of the nightmare before christmas couldnt be more appropriate  with all of the attention thrown to  family films  in recent years  namely those starring pocket monsters and nickelodeon characters  its high time we raised the intellectual level of childrens fare as well as the animation achievements of the movie studios  with that in mind  it was refreshing to revisit an animation classic on the big screen that still retains the originality and freshness it had seven years ago  nightmare is the story of one mans quest to discover his true purpose in life  to look beyond the accolades of his peers  the achievements of his years  and the praise of his ego  jack skellington  the pumpkin king of halloweentown  is the main dude behind the halloween holiday for kids everywhere  but during his reign as pumpkin king  jack has somehow lost his understanding of his place in the world and the magic he creates with his halloween holiday  after the completion of one particular halloween season  jack walks with a heavy heart and ends up discovering in the woods outside halloweentown a grove of trees with doors to all of the other holidays in the world  imagine his surprise to discover christmastown  a far more impressive and uplifting holiday than halloween  surrounded by happy elves making toys  and with good cheer all around  upon his return to halloweentown  jack decides to combine halloween and christmas together by kidnapping  sandy claws   employing all the residents of halloweentown to build toys for children  he then aims to take over the role as primary joyprovider and giftbearer to the children of the world  in the hopes of rediscovering the zest for life he once had  alas  the comingling of halloween and christmas creates disastrous results involving shrunken heads  psychotic wooden ducks  a sleigh pulled by a phantom dog with a lighted nose  and a large  sinister  singing bag named oogie boogie tim burton  the man behind such great films as ed wood  beetlejuice  peewees big adventure  and edward scissorhands  is the creative force behind nightmare  originally  burton authored a poem that became the basis of the storyline  and he was jointly involved in the production design of the film  though many mistakenly assume he directed the picture   the stamp of burton is clearly everywhere in the film  with bold colors  imaginative character design  and its simple yet compelling story  the direction of harry selick  who also directed james and the giant peach  is strong  offering intimate views of the strange collection of characters  also memorable are the songs in the film  written by former oingo boingo lead singer danny elfman  the next john williams of film composing  the nightmare before christmas is intended for both the kid and adult in everyone  its not just childs play for the holidays  its a movie about how to be truly happy in a tough world  saying that all you need to do is just be exactly who you are  without compromise  what better message is there for christmas  
pos	every once in a while a movie comes along that completely redefines the genre  with dramas  it was citizen kane  with arthouse it was pulp fiction  and with comedy it was  well  that jim carrey guy  okay  so hes not a movie  but he did have a huge influence on the genre  not to mention an expensive one   sometimes a movie even combines them all into a big  sprawling motion picture event  as did forrest gump four years ago  with action films  it was aliens  whic was released to much hype seven years after its equallyinnovative parent  alien  1979   directed and written by james cameron  t2  judgement day  the abyss  true lies   the authority on action films  it was a masterful encore to his scifi thriller the terminator  1984   while the original alien film was a dark  enclosed horror film that featured one alien slowly massacering a horrified crew  james cameron took the bigbudget action film with aliens  which featured multiple aliens doing basically the same thing  although on a muchlarger scale  and boy  did he take that route  id say at about 165 mph or so    the film opens 57 years after the original  with lt  ripley  weaver  being found in her ship in a cryogenic state by a salvage vessel  if youll recall  at the end of alien ripley  the only surviving member  cryogenically  hibernated  herself after expelling the rogue alien from her ship  unfortunately  she thought shed only be out for a couple of weeks    once shes returned to earth  ripley is quickly interrogated by  the company   who quickly dismiss her and her stories as lunacy  in truth  they believe her  as they soon approach ripley with an offer to travel with some marines to a new colony planet as an  alien advisor   it seems that the colony planet was a oncebreeding ground for the nasty aliens  and now all communication with the planet has been lost    it doesnt exactly take a genius to guess what happens next  ripley agrees  and before you can say  big mistake   she and the half dozen marines  plus the slimy corporate guy  reiser   who has more than it looks like up under his sleeve  are off to the colony  when they arrive  they find the planet in ruins  only one survivor is found  a little girl  newt  who confirms that  yes  the aliens were here and that she only managed to survive by hidding in the ventilation system  and soon enough  the marines come under attack from the aliens    what happens for the next hour and a half or so is what completely sets this movie apart from any other standard alien scifi movie  the action scenes  cameron directs them so skillfully  and so suspensefully  that youre literally ringing your hands by the time the finale rolls around  which features  in my opinion  the best fight scene ever recorded on film  as ripley straps herself into a huge robot and battles the nasty queen alien to the death  many people will tell you that this film  while being a great action film  has no real drama and is all cliches  well  they would be wrong  my friends  if this film had no  drama   then why was sigourney weaver nominated for best actress at the 1987 academy awards  thats right  best actress  you know that any action film that has an oscar nomination attached to it for something other than technical stuff like editing and fx has got to be good  in short  aliens combines all the right elements  great action and fx  drama  a good plot  good dialogue  and great villains  into what could arguably be called the best action film of all time  then again  maybe not  movies rise and fall from glory and  sad to say  aliens was wrestled from its throne of best action movie by another cameron film  t2  judgement day  in 1991  so who will be the next king  well  lets wait until december 19th and see yet another james cameron filmthe highest budgeted film of all timetitanic to make that decision  i cant wait  
pos	in 1995  brian singer and christopher mcquarrie dreamed up a simple concept  the audience isnt stupid  from that  they went on and created the most plotdriven  intricately pieced movie in the last 25 years  the result  the usual suspects  one hell of a movie that redefines the word plot twist  the story is convoluted  and is really confusing to read  although easy to follow on screen  special investigator kujan  chazz palminteri  grills  verbal  kint  kevin spacey   a crippled conman who is the lone survivor of an la boat explosion that claimed more than 20 victims  kujan wants to confirm that his nemesis  the rogue cop keaton  gabriel byrne   is actually dead  kint relates the majority of the film in flashback  beginning with the fateful day when five shifty guys meet in a policestation lineup in new york city  along with dour keaton  kint encounters cheerfully sociopathic mcmanus  stephen baldwin   mordantly sarcastic hockney  kevin pollak   and fenster  benicio del toro   whose speech is virtually incomprehensible  together they plot to steal a small fortune in gems from  new yorks finest taxi service  crooked cops who provide escort service for visiting drug kingpins  what follows is a shellgame of violence and betrayal  all hinging on the identity of a mysterious villain called keyser soze  the film is brilliantly compact  its the shortest 90 minutes youll ever spend in a movie theater  the cast is exceptional  palminteri shines  he is brutally honest  a true cop  one who is going after the whole story because its there  byrne is terrific  his brooding character  his seriousness is needed to supplement the hysteria of benicio del toro  who is a riot as fenster  del toro is brilliant  his lines are a jumbled mess  you cant understand a word the man says  but it sure is damn funny  baldwin is also very good  he is careful  methodical  and cold  a chilling character with a nasty streak of hotblooded sarcasm  pollak is also terrific as usual  a very good character actor  however  this will be forever known as the film that launched kevin spacey  spacey is simply breathtaking  he is a force on screen  giving a magnetic performance that jars the senses at the end of this twisting maze  spaceys performance will be remembered for years  for it is the best of his career  it may be the best supporting actor performance in the last 50 years  verbal kint is a clever storyteller  weak  oppressed  and gleefully evil to the bone  yet pitiful  one who draws sympathy  the film is a good one  a decent film until the last 10 minutes  what this film boils down to is the greatest ending in cinematic history  for me at least  the revelation of keyser soze  the closing gunfights  it is something wondrous  you have to see this movie about 10 times to believe what they do  kudos to mcquarrie and singer for giving the audience a delightful  fastpaced  furiously plotdriven movie with quirky characters  phenomenal acting  and some hilarious moments stuck in the middle  mcquarrie refuses to believe the audience is dumb  without furnishing too many details  he concocts his story and lets it run  hoping the audience gets it at the end  we do  this might just be the finest cinematic puzzle ever created  kudos also to singer and john ottman  who created the score  they both create what is a true filmnoir setting  carefully setting up this intricate puzzle until the final  jarring ending  there are flaws  more questions raised than answers  lack of character development  and no strong female characters  save one   however  the plot  and that stunning ending  make up for all the flaws and more  if you havent seen the movie  rent it  watch it  then rewind the tape  and watch it again  trust me  youll be amazed  
pos	it has happened again  a movie that is well scripted  well acted  and well directed  it is involving  suspenseful    it even has an unexpected twist at the end that packs a punch like a blow to the solar plexus  but in order to accept its premise one must also accept a spiritual lie  the sixth sense is that movie  starring bruce willis  armageddon  as a child psychologist and haley joel osment  forrest gump  as a troubled youngster  the sixth sense is more spooky than scary  though it does contain disturbing images designed to startle  eightyearold cole sear  osment  sees dead people  not just in dreams  and not just as lifeless bodies  he sees them walking around like regular people  and he sees them all the time  dr  malcolm crowe  willis  is trying to help him  he recognizes in cole many of the same attributes as one of his earlier patients whom crowe failed  resulting in that patient shooting crowe before turning the gun on himself  if crowe could manage to find a way to help cole  he believes he just might be able to put his own demons to rest  but first he needs to gain coles trust  the boy is so frightened by what he sees  he has closed himself off emotionally  being unwilling to tell anyone    not crowe  not even his own mother  toni collette  clockwatchers     about his  secrets   crowe begins to spend more and more time with him  even as his own marriage starts to dissolve around him  his wife anna  olivia williams  rushmore  becoming cold and distant because of his neglect of her and his preoccupation with the boy  bruce willis underplays his role  allowing the excellent script to do most of the work of building character development  crowe moves from treating a troubled boy who wont communicate  to treating a troubled boy who is having hallucinations  to wondering if perhaps there isnt some truth behind what the boy sees  mr  willis does a serviceable job  letting the focus remain on the story instead of on his familiar action hero screen persona  elevenyearold haley joel osment manages to impress us with his performance  he demonstrates an amazing amount of selfcomposure as well as an ability to play nuances in a complex character as if he were a seasoned pro  it is fine work for one of such a tender age  keep your eye on this young man  the supporting cast is also quite effective  toni collette  as the confused  frightened  and frustrated mother who cant understand what is happening to her child  olivia williams  as crowes once loving wife who is shutting down emotionally due to the lack of attention from her husband  and donnie wahlberg  ransom  as crowes expatient  now grown  who illustrates his doctors failure to help him in the most vivid terms imaginable  twentyeight year old m  night shyamalan  wide awake  directed his own script  maintaining a proper tension throughout the film and crafting the storytelling so expertly that the films full impact is not reached until its final moments  when a surprising revelation forces a reevaluation of all that preceded it  it is a rare movie which manages to pull that off and mr  shyamalan  as the one responsible  is certainly to be commended  in giving the sixth sense a favorable  three star  review for its craftsmanship and artistic merit  i must also point out that  spiritually speaking  the film is highly misleading  there is no scriptural foundation upon which to base a belief in ghosts or the  living dead   the concept of death being a doorway to another plane of existence is a devilish lie that has been around as long as man himself  the first lie recorded in the bible was devised by the serpent who assured eve   thou shall not surely die   a direct contradiction of gods admonition  that same lie has been perpetuated ad infinitum throughout the ages  scriptures do speak of a time when the dead shall rise but that wonderful demonstration of victory over death will not commence until after the second coming of christ    an event which has not yet occurred  therefore  the dead remain in a state of oblivion  having no consciousness  until that longawaited time when the final trump shall sound  and then  youll need six senses to register all the joy and rejoicing that will resound throughout the heavens  
pos	in the grand scheme of mel gibson movies  payback was better than conspiracy theory  but not as good as braveheart or lethal weapon  in other words  its a decent couple of hours of entertainment  but 20 years from now if a they compile a list of mel gibsons greatest hits  payback probably wont be on it  gibson plays a crook who gets double crossed by his partner after they heist a payroll  mels partner needed the money to pay off a mob debt  so he puts a couple of bullets in mel  leaving him for dead  and goes on to pay off his creditors  but  mel isnt dead  it would be a real short movie if he was  and he certainly isnt happy  to make matters worse  he wants his money back and is willing to go to any lengths to accomplish this feat  his ex partner has already used it to pay off the mobsters  so mel goes after the mob to get it back  payback is often a very violent film  to its credit  there are a few scenes that could have been very graphic  but the director  im not sure which one  more about that in a second  made the choice to let the audience use their imagination instead of subjecting us to the usual gratuitous gore found in many films  the film appears a bit disjointed in places  which is understandable considering producer  star gibson wasnt thrilled with how the film turned out and wanted parts of it reshot  when the director refused  another one was brought in to do the reshoot  so as a result while the final product is apparently better than the original  although personally i would love to see the original version for comparisons sake  it does get a bit of a choppy feel to it towards the end  its always tough to make a film where the main character is a villain  unless that person has some redeeming qualities  in this case  gibsons character has few redeeming qualities  but hey  its mel  so even when he is killing people in cold blood we are still rooting for him  my guess is that if that you put some other johnny bananas actor in this role  the audience would not be quite as responsive  gibson is gibson  whether he is playing a suicidal cop or a stone cold killer  he does a good job  he almost guarantees that no matter what else happens in the rest of the movie at least the audience is going to get one good performance  this time out mel is surrounded by a good supporting cast  including maria bello  as his love interest   william devane and kris kristofferson  as mod bosses   the man who steals the show and unfortunately doesnt have a real big part is james coburn  as yet another mobster   if i had one big disappointment in this film  it would be that coburn didnt have a bigger role  in the end  payback is a fairly solid action thriller  just not in quite the same league as some of mel gibsons other work  
pos	the thoughtprovoking question of tradition over morals is the subject directly at the core of  leila   a powerfully articulated and subtle drama from famous iranian director dariush mehrjui  that is his first motion picture in a prosperous thirtyyear career to gain u  s  distribution  thanks to first run features  although unfamiliar with mehrjuis previous directing efforts  perhaps the reason for this is that  while the predicament at hand is no doubt exclusive to its own country  the heartbreaking and solely truthful emotions of the characters can easily be understood by all viewers  set in modernday iran   leila  begins on the birthday of the title character  leila hatami   after a brief prologue in which we are shown the first encounter between leila and her future husband  reza  ali mosaffa   as leila and reza set off to visit his parents  and then hers  where a birthday celebration has been planned  things seem rosy for the couple on the outside  but for leila  life isnt quite as sweet  earlier  on that very same day  leila had gone to see her physician  and has ultimately discovered that she holds very little chance of ever conceiving a child  when all of the conditions are ruled out  and leila passes up the possibility of adoption  reza firmly and lovingly tells her that he married her  and doesnt care at all about having children  nonetheless  leila is ashamed that she will never be able to give him a baby  which is the societal norm  and her selfesteem is not helped at all by her domineering motherinlaw  jamileh sheikhi   whose hopes to carry on the sacred family name vanishes once hearing the news  reza is her only son   bluntly explaining to leila that reza has always wished for children and  in a country where polygamy is an accepted tradition  she suggests that he take a second wife to bear a child with  leila hesitantly agrees  and while she and reza are able to shallowly laugh afterwards about the hopeful womens inadequacies  reza finally does meet a woman whom he claims to like  even though he refuses to go through with the marriage if leila doesnt give her full blessing  there are no easy answers to be found within  leila   a film that thoughtfully examines the central characters unfortunate plight  as well as the inner workings of leila herself  told through matteroffact narration  almost completely taken over by her own shame  she has no option but to agree to her forceful motherinlaws requests  even though she is unsure of how she will react if reza really does end up marrying another woman  maybe because  leila  is from iran  the film will unquestionably be shocking for american audiences  since the concept of polygamy is looked upon by the characters as a more or less everyday occurrence  leila  however  is unable to come to terms with the idea quite as easily  but feels it is her duty to make her husband happy  no matter what the circumstances  one of the strongest aspects of the film is in its portrayal of the relationship between leila and reza  who married only three months after their first meeting  but obviously love each other very deeply  it is this relationship that is the key ingredient to making what follows the opening scenes all the more powerful  and director mehrjui has succeeded just about as well as possible  although seemingly unimportant at first glance  an early sequence where leila and reza are eating dinner and both are laughing  nearly uncontrollably  actually is one of the most vital moments in the first half  as it unmistakably sets the boundary for their unrequisite love for one another  ditto for another scene in which reza gives leila a large stuffed animal for her birthday  and then reveals a beautiful necklace he has also gotten her  these  small  moments are the perfect contrast for the solemn  outraging sequences in the latter half  in which reza drops leila off at the side of a busy road  and then zooms off to go on a date with another woman  left there to ponder her quickly diminishing marriage  foolishly unbeknownst to reza  leila prays each time that the date will not go well  so she will be able to keep her husband to herself for a little while longer  refusing to stay over at her parents house  the film inevitably leads up to the second wedding night between reza and another woman  and in a sequence of extraordinary sorrow and potency  leila finds her whole being emotionally torn apart  as she is closed up in an upstairs bedroom as the marriage proceedings are going on down below  despite her initial agreement to such a thing  leila realizes how much she has been betrayed by reza  whom she believed cared for her as much as she did of him  sure  the whole second marriage was his mothers idea  but if he really did believe what he initially had told her about not wanting any children  then he could have still easily backed out  couldnt he  in the pivotal role of leila  who appears in every scene  leila hatami is nothing short of remarkable  injecting her character with an equal measure of startling strength  unavoidable vulnerability  and utter despair  unlike most american films  in which everything always has to be spelled out for audiences  hatami says much more with just an elusive expression on her face than could possibly have been conveyed by words  every bit a perfect match for hatami is ali mosaffa  as reza  a man who  i believe  does hold an unbreakable bond with his wife  but is too naive to realize what he will be doing to leila if he marries someone else  for all of its strong aspects   leila  isnt a perfect film  on a technical level  i found many blatant punctiation and spelling mistakes within the subtitles that need to be fixed  and concerning the plot developments  the final five minutes ring false when compared with everything that has come before  mehrjuis decision to use an extremely stylized approach to the ending was the wrong choice  particularly in his almost comedic way of wrapping up the character of the spiteful motherinlaw  played memorably by jamileh sheikhi  despite these minor missteps   leila  is an important motion picture that should definately be sought out upon its limited may 16 release at new yorks cinema village  and then on may 21 in la  the thoughtprovoking questions that the film deals with is balanced evenly with its uneasy morales  and when the climax arrives  leilas selfworth is startlingly stripped away to reveal a victim led into complete devastation  to which there is no return  its difficult to not consider how leilas culminating interior demise could have been so simply avoided  had the other characters taken a second out of their own selfish lives to consider what leila  the major pawn in the unforgivable scheme  was going through  
pos	barely scrapping by playing at a nyc piano bar  timothy hutton returns to his massachusetts hometown for a couple of weeks  on the surface  hes coming home for a high school reunion  but since this is a movie  you know that hes really looking for some major life decisions  a fairly  small  film  this sports an impressive ensemble cast including uma thurman  rosie odonnell and a bunch of actors that youve seen before but cant quite place  commendable jobs all around  they seem like real people  hutton arrives at his past and is greeted by his spiritdead father  terminally goony brother and old high school chums  all of his old buddies are engaged in the snow removal business and most are in the midst of a relationship crisis  the perfect stuff for a comedy about people in the twenties angst  he meets and falls for the new next door neighbor  a beautiful intelligent lively girl who is obviously taken with him  the problem is that she is only 13  unconsummated  no  its not that type of movie   their relationship builds and neither knows what to do with it  starcrossed lovers with no where to go  so hutton is gaga over a barelyteen  one of his buddies is twotiming his girlfriend with a married old flame  anothers girlfriend is sleeping with a meat cutter   and shes a vegetarian     things are a mess  enter uma thurman  the beautiful stranger in town for a few days is both a delight in the film and one of its minor downfalls  her character is fun to watch  even more entertaining is observing the guys falling over themselves trying to impress her  like the lone ranger  before she leaves  she solves most of the problems and sets everyone onward with their lives  the ending is a bit too pat  everything is tied up with a neat little bow  rosie odonnell is a standout in her limited screen time with her brash personality and  tell it like it is  pronouncements  structured somewhat like a  diner  a few years later   this feelgood story is a good time  but ends a little too nice  
pos	its an interesting premise  our reality is only real to us because it is what we perceive to be real  in truth  our entire existences are lived out in our minds as we are fed information through electronic inputs directly to our brains  what we see  what we do  everything around us is nothing more than a computergenerated construct interlinked with the minds of others through a vastly powerful artificial intelligence  our bodies  severely atrophied  are kept alive for the sole purpose of generating heat and electrical energy for a dominating order of machines which control the planet  the scifi realm has been waiting a little while for something new to come along  the matrix isnt it  the idea of a war between man and a sentient computer network  a sham world  the ability to plug ones brain into a computer  has all been gleaned from such sources as the terminator  dark city  and a few star trek episodes  both classic and next generation   what is new is the ability to weave all of these various elements together and succeed in producing a film that is both entertaining as well as thoughtprovoking  keanu reeves plays a computer whiz nicknamed neo  who is plucked out of the artificial world  known as the matrix  by a group of renegade humans who are clandestinely fighting to expose the fallacy of the computergenerated existence and free humankind from the oppression of the machines  the groups leader  morpheus  laurence fishburne   has chosen neo because he believes neo is  the one  who is destined to lead the attack against the artificial intelligence  from the beginning of the film  we are kept on our toes trying to figure things out  this  in a lesser movie would be annoying  but the matrix presents itself in an intelligent manner which makes the puzzle rather interesting and even fun  what is reality  what is a sham  the film turns our very perception of life on its side  more than once  we are also presented with the question of whether we would rather know the harsh truth of reality  or live a life of relative bliss  oblivious to the true nature of our surroundings  as viewers  this is intriguing enough  so imagine what it would be like for neo  and who to better play a bewildered person than keanu reeves  reeves  whom ive never really cared for as an actor  is competent in roles which require a lot of straightforwardness  and little subtlety  he was good in speed  for example  but laughably poor in a walk in the clouds  neo is actually one of those roles which reeves slips into rather nicely  so much of my expectation was happily for naught  in a couple of places  the script even capitalizes upon his wooden nature  and this is a heavy credit to writersdirectors andy and larry wachowski  i mean  since bill and teds excellent adventure  what movie could you say really  utilized  keanu reeves  more interesting than reeves is fishburne  whos morpheus nearly runs the gamut of emotions  and convincingly so  very surprising for a scifi movie  fishburne also maintains a certain demeanor about himself throughout  as if he always knows what to expect  this helps to further the aura of his characters proficiency and extensive knowledge  hugo weaving as agent smith  one of the artificial intelligences antiintruder programs  is also good playing his deadpan  nononsense  kick ass role  which requires him to show emotion at the appropriate time  unfortunately  when weaving speaks for more than a few sentences in a row  the nature of his characters speech pattern becomes a little more laughable than impressive  carrieanne moss plays trinity  morpheuss number one assistant who becomes somewhat of a love interest for neo  although her character is somewhat inconsistent  moss nevertheless delivers an above par performance when fishburne isnt in the picture  there were few expenses spared when it comes to the special effects  many methods of imagery are employed  from modeling to bluescreen to computer graphics  of special note is the use of the  freeze and turn  effect where the entire scene is frozen  turned  then continued from a new angle  this is accomplished by using a large number of still cameras employed in a semicircle  with motion picture cameras placed at the two ends  the motion cameras film the action  and at the appropriate moment all the still cameras fire at once  place each still image in a film sequence and you get a nearly seamless transition from the first motion camera to the second  pretty slick  the matrix drips with style  from the clothing to the music to the action  were watching an exaggerated version of what were used to  much of it seems like the combination of two genres of the hong kong action film  theres a lot of kung fu  theres a lot of gunplay  when a character is letting go with an automatic weapon  much is made of the empty cartridges falling to the floor in slow motion  theres also the element of the japanese action cartoon  called anime by aficionados   especially in the way the sequences are filmed in sweeping pans and emphasized actions through special effects  combined  its really like no liveaction film i have ever seen  the film is not without its faults  some of the scenes and ideas are  borrowed  a little too liberally from other films  and one component of the ending is decidedly disappointing  some of the lines are also pretty bad  in one instance  a supporting character incorrectly delivers a famous saying  and it wasnt meant to be a joke  however  these shortcomings detract little from what is an overall solid action scifi film that for once does more than merely entertain  
pos	one of kyle mclachlans earlier cinematic features  this movie has had an obvious influence on such films as the terminator  810   species  710  and the more recent  fallen with denzel washington  plot  a sciencefiction picture set in modern times  this thriller follows the exploits of an  entity  from outer space  who likes to inhabit human bodies  use them up until they are completely worn out  and then switch over to the next available receptacle  fbi agent  mclachlan  and local top cop  nouri  are charged with the capture of this  thing  before its too late  critique  this fastpaced  urban equivalent of the thing  810   checks in on all cylinders for ultraviolence  god knows how many people died in this movie   action and an overall rock n roll attitude  then again  how can you go wrong with an  alien  that likes the ferraris  guns  heavy metal music and sexy girls   granted  the plot isnt the most elaborate of tales  alien bad  find alien  kill alien   but i can honestly say that i was never once bored during the viewing of this entire picture  i wouldnt recommend it to those who dont like car chases  murders  and bland acting  but for all the rest of you out there  those who enjoy putting away their brains every now and again  sitting back  slamming back some salsad nachos  and relishing in the cheeze some call film    have a blast   two scenes to watch for are both within the first ten minutes of this gorefest  the opening sequence is one of the most rockin scenes to open any action movie  and the subsequent extraterrestrial  transformation  is another eyecatcher  even the late 80s special effects were okay  followed by the hidden ii in 1994  little known facts  this film was kyle maclachlans first nondavid lynch foray into the world of feature films  his first two movie appearances were in lynchs wretched dune  410  and the sensational blue velvet  8  510  
pos	i want to correct what i wrote in a former retrospective of david leans war picture  i still think that it doesnt deserve being the number 13 in the american film institutes list of the 100 greatest american movies  and i think that lumets  12 angry men   wilders  witness for the prosecution  and kubricks  paths of glory  would have been better choices for the best picture oscar in 1958  but i cant deny the importance of  the bridge on the river kwai   cinematically and in its contents  the film is set in burma in 1943  a bataillon of british soldiers in japanese war captivity is forced by the japanese to build a strategically momentous railway bridge over the river kwai  but the british commanding officer  colonel nicholson  alec guinness   insists  corresponding to the geneva conventions  that his officers neednt work as simple workmen  struggling toughly  col  nicholson forces the japanese commandant  col  saito  sessue hayakawa   to give way in this respect  afterwards col  nicholson assiduously commits himself for the building of the bridge  he considers it an opportunity to raise his mens morale  and he wants to prove superior british capabilities to the japanese  but the british high command sends a few soldiers who shall destroy the bridge  among them the american shears  william holden   an escapee from the japanese prison camp  and the british major warden  jack hawkins     a flaw of the picture is the clich  d characterization of the japanese people  they are presented as if they were intellectually inferior to the british  as if the japanese were incapable of building a bridge  and the film doesnt consistently question the military spirit as kubrick does in  paths of glory   lean seems rather fascinated by the military hierarchies  this is also perceptible in the conversations between col  nicholson and col  saito  in this regard it is symptomatic that shears  who doubts the military logic  is a somehow unpleasant person in the film  the audience is supposed to applaud col  nicholsons perseverance concerning the question if his officers shall work on the bridge or not  the spectators are supposed to neglect the risks col  nicholson takes for his men   the plot bypasses these risks   that means  the picture isnt perfect  but it has a lot of virtues as well  it shows the  madness  of war and what war can produce in peoples minds  it shows how col  nicholson becomes possessed by the idea of being a hero and that others  like shears  get cynics  and  the bridge on the river kwai  is an interesting study of characters with clashing interests  these points and the sometimes ironic dialogue make this film an antiwar film  despite the inconsistencies in the treatment of this theme   david leans effective and atmospherically perfect direction creates a high suspense  especially in the dramatic  though not wholly plausible  showdown  alec guinness does a magnificent job of bringing col  nicholson to life and making him such an interesting character  the other actors deliver very good performances as well  jack hildyards fine color cinematography and the apt score are also helpful  i like this extraordinary film despite its weaknesses   c  karl rackwitz  klein k  ris  germany  1999  
pos	of the major horror subgenres  vampire movies are easily the most adaptable  think about it  frankenstein movies havent changed all that much because they still need that madscientistinbavariancastle setting  if you made a frankenstein movie today  youd have to have the monster be a virus or something  and outside of michael j  fox  there arent any actors that could play a virus convincingly  movies about mummies would still have to be set in egypt  theres not much you can do with werewolves except take them to london or paris  unless you want to have a teenage werewolf or something   and theres that michael j  fox thing again   but you can have vampires do anything  and you can place them in any genre you want  just about  you can have traditional vampire movies  bram stokers dracula  or have the anne rice version  interview with the vampire   or play it for laughs  vampire in brooklyn   you can put vampires in locales from sunny southern california  the lost boys  to squalid mexican dives  from dusk till dawn  to your local high school  buffy  the vampire slayer   were it not redundant  you could have a movie about a law firm full of vampires  any day now  i expect well see a movie about a vampire third baseman who has to decide whether to play a day game in order to break the home run record  or  you can insert the vampire legend into a hong kong action movie  and when you do that  you get blade  wesley snipes has the chow yun fat role in this movie  the silent  expressionless hit man who destroys everything in his path  in this case  the everything happens to be vampires that explode into cgi shards instead of dead  bleeding corpses  snipes has less to say here than as the fugitive in u  s  marshals  but does a demonstrably better job here as a halfvampire wreaking vengeance on the bloodsuckers  blade is a silent  brooding presence  laying waste to vampires without a shred of remorse  he is as cold as his silverbladed sword  as single minded as his garlicfilled bullets  yet  hes not without quirks  blade drives a battered muscle car and has to glean rolex watches from his vampire victims in order to stay solvent  like any good hong kong movie  blade is heavy on the chopsocky action  for some reason  blade spends a lot more time using his kung fu artistry than using the traditional antivampire weapons of garlic and silver   blade dismisses a manportable arc lamp as being too heavy  although it looks to be a more efficient tool to dispatch vampires   unfortunately  the guiding hand of john woo is absent from this film  relegating blade to the status of the replacement killers  which it most strongly resembles  the replacement killers is the last movie i saw that i didnt review  mostly because it made no impression on me  and i couldnt remember anything other than noise  violence  and the intensity of fats performance  blade has a little more going for it  and has the vampire myth to draw from  but other than that  its the same kind of movie  exciting  with well choreographed action scenes  but with no resonance  with a stronger villain  stephen dorff is  pardon the pun  curiously bloodless as the head vampire  leaving us to wonder what denis leary might have done with the role   a wittier script  and a strong supporting cast  blade might have been able to rise beyond the level of commonplace summer entertainment  as it is  blade is an average action movie that serves to do nothing but remind us that the summer movies just keep getting dumber and the vampire movies just keep multiplying  
pos	when quentin tarantino made  pulp fiction   he was not only making the greatest film of the 90s  he was also making what i believe to be the most influential movie of all time  but before you send me hatemail for not giving that title to  citizen kane   hear me out  much like  citizen kane    pulp fiction  has changed movie making forever  but i think the latter has had a tad more impact   pulp fiction  has actually ushered in a new era of film making  it has altered the way films will be viewed   fiction  has spawned so many imitations  ive lost count  sure  some have been excellent   bound  and  the usual suspects  spring immediately to mind   but any serious moviegoer recognizes  pulp fiction  as the original neonoir of the 90s  in this review  i hope to change all the peoples minds who have criticized it for its excessive profanity and violence  which  by the way  isnt really that graphic   the most brilliant aspect of tarantinos masterpiece is the screenplay  it is filled with so much classic dialogue  the  quarter pounder with cheese  speech will go down in history   it should be required reading for any film student  if it isnt already  the story  told in unorthodox nonlinear format  centers around three main episodes  all of which eventually intertwine  the first  titled  vincent vega and marcellus wallaces wife   deals with a very loaded john travolta  i forgot to mention the cool heroin shootup sequence  taking mia wallace  a starmaking performance by uma thurman   his bosses wife  out on a date to a cool 50s restaurant called jack rabbit slims  they talk for a while  with the occasional  uncomfortable silence    mostly about a guy called tony rocky horror  after giving marcellus new bride a foot massage  he was thrown off a building and into a greenhouse  giving him a  speech impediment   they also partake in a cool dance contest and end up twisting to the chuck berry classic  you never can tell   i wont reveal the rest of the story  but ill definitely say that it turns out to be a real bummer of a night  despite the cool trophy they win  the second story  the least of the three but still four stars  stars bruce willis  proving he can play someone other than john mcclain in the  die hard  flicks  as boxer butch coolidge  previously in the film  like i said  its told in nonlinear form   he had made a deal with marcellus wallace that he would take a fall in a match  as it turns out  he not only doesnt take the fall  but he ends up actually killing his opponent  he takes a cab to his halfwitted girlfriends apartment  and to make a long story short  ends up going back to his own place to retrieve a gold watch  sort of a family heirloom explained by christopher walken in a hilarious flashback sequence  on his way home  he bumps into  literally  marcellus  the two winde up prisoner to two hillbilly sex murderers  which results in the infamous  gimp  scene  which is very reminicent of the  squeal like a pig   scene from  deliverance   the last  and best  in my opinion  of the episodes features john travolta  again  and samuel l  jackson  in the best performance of any supporting actor ever  as two slightly offkilter hitmen trying to rid themselves of a bloody car  they seek help with a friend of jacksons  played by the qman himself   desperately in need of a stress ball  they end up calling a  cleaner  of sorts  played by the god among men harvey keitel  to help them out  in the end  the story brilliantly loops around itself  actually ending where it began  if you havent already seen the film  or even if you have  for that matter   i suggest you invest your money in a copy of the letterbox collectors edition  it features two previously unreleased scenes and the original film restored how it was originally meant to be seen  earlier today  i bought this version and watched it a few hours ago  what the panandscan did to this movie is inexcusable  that version cut out  like  half the movie  what i have missed in the past years of viewing this flick is amazing  for instance  when travolta and jackson are in the apartment near the end  the widescreen version allows you to see that several things on the walls make crosses  this might help explain the divine intervention that takes place  just a theory    one of the things that pisses people off so much about this movie is that tarantino borrowed alot of scenes from other movies  i  e   psycho   kiss me deadly    deliverance   etc    but why shouldnt he  its not like he outright and blatantly stole  give the guy a break  in case you havent already noticed  i believe  pulp fiction  is a supremely excellent film and one of the best of all time  up there with such greats as  casablanca  and  the godfather    trust me  you will not see a better film come out of the 90s  and besides  its one hell of a ride  note  if anyone knows how i could get a  bad motherfucker  wallet  please email me  any help would be greatly appreciated  
pos	theres some movies i enjoy even though i know i probably shouldnt and have a difficult time trying to explain why i did   lucky numbers  is a perfect example of this because its such a blatant ripoff of  fargo  and every movie based on an elmore leonard novel and yet it somehow still works for me  i know im in the minority here but let me explain  the film takes place in harrisburg  pa in 1988 during an unseasonably warm winter  john travolta plays the local bigshot tv weatherman who is idolized by the townsfolk as if he were john travolta himself and not the bumbling russ richards  russ is married to crystal  lisa kudrow   a blonde bimbo if ever there was one in the history of cinema  shes a selfish  nasty bitch full of lust and desire but somehow she got the job of the lottery ball girl  not exactly the most intellectually taxing job on the market  crystals cheating on russ with their collective boss dick  ed oneil   the tv station manager  she doesnt seem to genuinely like either of them  but its all she can do in this onehorse town  much like  fargo   this movie tells the story of a man whos going broke and has to pull off a huge scam to get rich quick  he enlists the help of his english friend gig  tim roth   the local stripclub owner who tells him how to fix the lottery  along the way a subplot involving a twobit thug named  accurately   dale the thug   michael rappaport  gets mixed up in the process  theres also a bookie that somehow gets thrown in the mix once the deal goes down  im not going to elaborate much further on the plot and story because it continues to unwind and take twists and turns youre not expecting  this is a farce  which is basically a straightforward  adultoriented comedy but doesnt go as far as a classic black comedy should  where as  fargo  was sometimes shocking and disturbing while being funny   lucky numbers  is just funny because you cant take these characters in these outrageous situations seriously  its all a big cartoon basically  but its funny and i can respect that  travolta is great in his role and even though hes not a really likable character  hes trying to be a nice guy despite the fact hes a creep  hes like a gangster with morals who genuinely feels sorry for the guys he has to kill  crystal is just the opposite  shes constantly arguing and using whatever brain cells she has left to look out for herself  kudrow is perfect in this role since shes spent 8 years on tv as the dimwitted phoebe on  friends   here is character is basically a very evil incarnation of phoebe  i have to admit i was honestly surprised and pleased by how the plot unraveled and the methods each of the main characters use to try to get their share of the money  like  jackie brown    an elmore leonard adaption   the story is about a circle of 10 characters all after the lottery money that has been won illegally  the screenplay does a fine job in balancing the characters and slowly revealing their motivations and hidden agendas while at the same time keep russ richards the main focus  more and more characters are introduced and since the film has such an iconic  cartoony atmosphere you can take on faith just what makes the minor characters do what they do  the ending itself is great  its surprising and funny and makes you feel good  you realize this film has packed in about 10 different movies worth of stories into two hours time and didnt fall apart  although many other critics might beg to differ   i liked it  and i could see it again  isnt that what makes a movie good  
pos	this summer  one of the most racially charged novels in john grishams series  a time to kill  was made into a major motion picture  on january 3 of this year  director rob reiner basically rereleased the film under the title of ghosts of mississippi  based on the true story of 1963 civil rights leader medgar evars assassination  ghosts of mississippi revolves around the 25year legal battle faced by myrlie evars  whoopi goldberg  sister act  and her quest to have her husbands obvious assassin and racist byron de la beckwith  james woods  casino  jailed  so she turns to assistant district attorney and prosecutor bobby delaughter  alec baldwin  heavens prisoners  to imprison the former kkk member  ghosts sets its tone with an opening montage of images from africanamerican history  from slaveship miseries to life in the racist south of the 1960s  but all too soon  the white folks take over  intoning lines like  whats america got to do with anything  this is mississippi   as beckwith  james woods  with his head larded with latex most of the time as an old man  teeters between portraying evil and its character  meanwhile  goldberg turns in a very serious and weepy performance as the wife who wouldnt let her husbands death rest until she got the conviction  both deserve serious oscarconsideration  this brings us to the dull performance of baldwin  lets face it  trying to match matthew mcconaugheys wonderful acting in a time to kill is basically impossible  and baldwin is living proof of this  as no emotions could be felt  it seemed as if he actually had to struggle to shed a single tear  either poor acting or poor directing  but something definitely went wrong  another strange mishap was the fact that goldbergs facial features didnt change  as she looked the same in the courtroom as she did holding her husbands dead body 25years earlier  yet woods was plastered with enough make up to make him look like goldbergs father  at least the makeup was realistic  with some emotional moments in the poorly written script  ghosts of mississippi lacked in heart  when its predecessor  a time to kill  brought tears to everyones eyes  dont get me wrong  the movie wasnt all that bad  but if youve seen grishams masterpiece  then dont expect this one to be an excellent film   
pos	towards the middle of  the sweet hereafter   a crowded school bus skids on an icy road surface as it rounds a bend  careens through the steel guard rail  and disappears out of sight  then  in long shot  we see the vehicle slowly sliding across what looks like a snowcovered field  it pauses for a moment before the  field  cracks under the bus weight and the bright yellow vehicle vanishes in an effortless moment  a single smooth second of time  compare that scene  if you will  to the last eighty minutes of  titanic   when the behemoth sinks slowly and spectacularly to its watery demise  and youll appreciate the futility of comparing greatness in films  the scene in  the sweet hereafter  epitomizes all thats right with independent canadian director atom egoyans film  its not sensational  we dont see the inside of the bus with its payload of screaming  terrified children being bloodied and battered about  the bus doesnt explode or break into a thousand tiny pieces  it simply leaves the road and silently slips beneath the surface of a frozen lake  its a horrifying sequence made all the more so by calm and distance  using a nonlinear approach to his narrative  egoyan shifts back and forward in time  connecting us with the inhabitants of the small british columbian town who have been severely affected by this tragedy  fourteen children died in the accident  leaving their parents and the town itself paralyzed with grief  the catalyst at the center of the film is ambulance chaser mitchell stephens  a wonderfully moving performance by ian holm   who comes to sam dent to persuade the townsfolk to engage in a class action suit  stephens  who  doesnt believe in accidents   functions as a concerned  involved observer  scribbling details in his notebook and providing the parents with an opportunity to reach some kind of closure in the harrowing aftermath  while stephens initial drive may be financial  one third of the total settlement if he wins   his involvement provides him more with an outlet to come to grips with his own loss  his selfdestructive  drugaddicted daughter has been in and out of clinics  halfway houses and detox units for years  egoyans attention to detail and ability to establish mood are so impeccable that even the sound of a kettle boiling resonates like a plaintive cry  mychael danna  who composed the shimmering music for  the ice storm   contributes another memorable score that shivers and tingles  equally impressive is paul sarossys cinematography  capturing the imposing canadian mountainsides and lowhanging fogs as splendidly as his shadowy interiorsin one scene a bright wall calendar serves to illuminate portions of a room   the sweet hereafter   while undeniably grim  urges the viewer to grab onto life with both hands and not let go  its a film of generous subtlety and emotion  
pos	losing a job is not an all too uncommon thing  reacting to such a personal setback by taking a group of small children hostage is a bit more rare  while we all might feel the desire to blow someones head off with a shotgun when they dont seem to grasp our point of view  actually threatening them with one is usually something we avoid  this isnt the case with sam baily  john travoltas slightly askew averagejoe persona in mad city   i dont think people listen to guys like me   sam laments during an exclusive interview from behind the walls of a museum  just a few days ago  sam was a guard at this same museum  but when cutbacks led to the elimination of his security position  sams apprehension resulted in a brash decision  in an effort to get his exboss  museum director mrs  banks  blythe danner   to  just listen   he barges into the museum one day equipped with a fully loaded shotgun  taking the uncooperative banks and a group of school children hostage  sams overall concern is valid enough  if he loses his job  his paycheck  his benefits  etc   his wife and two children wont be provided for  hes not a lunatic or a hottempered madman  hes somewhat like a child  panicky  compulsive  and running on emotion  and his naive intentions arent helped any by the fact that banks wasnt overly compassionate with the let go  overall  hes just like you and me  except that he has the capacity to view the line wed deem  far enough  as the starting mark of some crazy race  meanwhile  television reporter max brackett  dustin hoffman  is also on the scene  covering a  fluff  story for the evening news concerning the museum cutbacks  max suddenly finds himself in the middle of the biggestbreaking news story he ever couldve hoped for  having been demoted from network newsman to smalltime affiliate reporting  max is anxious to turn this into his  and only his  story  max immediately bonds with sam  max even coaches sam thru hostage negotiations and writes scripts for him to use with the police over the phone  at first  maxs intentions dont stretch beyond high ratings and a good boost to the ole pride factor  but as he gets to know sam more personally  he begins to sympathize and even become somewhat of an advocate for him  the media  however  is creating a frenzy that leaves the fickle public shifting gears as often as a diesel truck moving downhill  the accidental shooting of exco worker cliff  bill nunn   a black security guard  becomes one of the main factors in the controversy over sams honest ambitions  also involved in this film are robert prosky as lou potts  head of the news department of the station max falls directly under  and alan alda as the nationally famed reporter kevin hollander  who uses his network power to try and outshine max  alda and prosky both turn in fine performances that fit like gloves on their acting abilities  then there is mia kirshner  who plays the young tv station intern laurie  she falls under maxs wings only to become a student taught too well in the way of sensationalistic reporting  kirshners credits are relatively small for now  including roles in films like exotica and the forgettable sequel to the crow  still  kirshners character transformation shows that she has shining ability to play both good girl and kindabitchyinareservedway roles  i wouldnt mind seeing her in some more prevalent parts  where perhaps her talent will be able to blossom more fully onscreen  while the viewpoint of the media as a greedy  selfrighteous monster has indeed been tackled before  mad city provides a solid two hours of enjoyability  hoffman and travolta are both excellent actors  and seeing them together is a real treat  they both do a great job at smoothly and naturally becoming their characters  and they provide enough chemistry for us to genuinely care for both  there is quite a bit of humor in this film  and without it  it couldve fallen into a drab  cliched social statement more likely to garner sleep from the audience than applause  this isnt a flick that will grip at both your funny bone and your heart  but it will lightly touch both  making for a recommendable movie  if for nothing more than the opportunity to watch both hoffman and travolta at the same time  i urge you to check this one out  
pos	as much as i wanted to like this film as i went into it  the more pleased i was when i left  first  getting through all the usual lines of newspaper glitz   if you liked scream  youll love wild things    campbell gives a stunning performance    this twisty plot will have you dazzled for days    oh yeah  the day a newspaper uses these is the day neve campbell falls in love with me  now  onto more serious stuff  and with this film  i mean that in nearly a sarcastic way   wild things has singlehandedly broken down the rules surrounding the r rating from the mpaa  im not saying that in a bad way  but when you see this film  you may be shocked by what you see  however  perhaps the mpaa was pleased by the films charming cast and tricky plot  that they let the film slide with an r rating  being mormon  im bound to hear an uproar from religious zealots warning me not to see the film  trouble is  i have already seen it  and i like it  wild things is a film noir of the 90s  filled with 40s sensibilities  and yet breaking the rules and modernday taboos of 90s culture  the style in which it is filmed is rich in color  the actors are all gorgeous people  seemingly drawn from the same gene pool and placed into this film  sure  its all too good to be true  but aint it fun to watch  when movies like this come along  sort of a better version of basic instinct  there is bound to be people who either love it or hate it  there will be people who dont want to admit liking what they see  but i tell you  most anyone who sees this will like it  wild things begins at blue bay high school  the one high school in the world that any teenager would love to get into  its almost as if students are put through entrance exams just for admittance  totally based on looks alone   of course  there are those select few who may look slightly ugly  but compared to the average person  they are gorgeous  immediately  the film finds its tone and the audience settles in for an enjoyable time  we can turn off our brains  right  wrong  while you may be expecting one thing to happen  it certainly doesnt turn out that way  the film begins in a classroom  with nearly all the main characters present  theres sam lombardo  matt dillon   a counselor for the students  hes heading the class discussion  theres also kelly van ryan  denise richards   a snobby rich teen who has fallen in love with sam  teaching the class  however  are two policemen  ray duquette  kevin bacon  and gloria perez  daphne rubinvega   who want to talk about sex     cheers  crimes  boos     what is a sex crime   ray asks   not gettin any   one student responds  this pretty much sets the tone of the film we are about to watch  however  upon hearing this  one student  suzie toller  neve campbell   stands up and leaves the room  commenting that they can both kiss part of her body  and so  wild things sets into motion  quickly  kelly begins hitting on sam  but sam doesnt want anything to do with her advances  kelly is stubborn and continues to pursue him  she even pleads with him to let her wash his jeep  surprisingly  thats really all i can tell you about the plot  any more would give away one of the many crucial plot twists  and whats more  these plot twists are actually unpredictable  going along the way of scream  wild things maintains that films surprises  and then adds even more to them  there are more plot twists in this film than probably any i have ever seen  and even though you think you may get tired of them  the surprises are so genuine that its rather pleasing  going back over them in my mind  nearly all of them work  though some stretch the boundaries of belief  thankfully  the convoluted plot doesnt give us much time to think about each one  pouncing yet another twist on us before the shock of the previous one has worn off  as for the critics who complain that the film is trashywell  it is  this is pretty much just one trashy film  however  it is the kind of trashy that isnt hard to watch  its good trash  in a sense  one  the screenplay knows that its not to be taken seriously  and it includes a lot of humor and satire into the story  this varies everywhere from kellys mother  theresa russell   who is more of a caricature of rich people  all the way to an ambulancechasing lawyer  bill murray   who wears a neckbrace to cover an insurance scam he is running  bill murray also provides the best character in the film  and most of the genuine laughs  and two  the sex is more than gratuitous  although not unwelcomed  wild things is supposed to have sex in it  what film with that title wouldnt    and this movie breaks the boundaries  instead of having heterosexual sex scenes  it also includes lesbian scenes between denise richards and neve campbell  dont worry    its not as graphic as you might think   the heterosexual scenes are quite graphic  but the surprise shocker is kevin bacons fullfrontal nude scene  its very brief  so if you blink  you may miss  ahem  it  and  for as long as i can remember  i dont think i have seen an rrated film show an erect one before  its not completely  but judging from the audiences reaction  it was more than they expected too   also  during one scene late in the film  there seemed to be a relationship brewing between bacon and dillons characters  but nothing came of it  makes you wonder if the director had to cut it in order for the r rating  or if the actors refused to do it   what first made me want to see wild things was its cast  neve campbell  of course  has been one of my favorite actresses since the scream films were released  here  however  she turns every typical role she has done on its head and plays a gothic pothead  the closest role to this was her performance in the craft  though even in that she was a nice girl   campbell is probably the best in the film and shows her wide range of talent  you can tell she will be around for a long time  denise richards will also be around for a long time  although she may be limited to the roles without much range  here  she gets to express more emotions than in her stiff  yet effective  performance in starship troopers  hopefully one day she will land a very good role that can display her ability  and then there is daphne rubinvega  a newcomer to the movies  she gives a very good performance  although her character is mostly left to the background for the first hour and a half  towards the end she does get a bigger part  on the male side  matt dillon is probably the best  giving a subtle performance that surprises with every twist  kevin bacon has a slightly wooden character  but he makes the most of it  you must have admiration  though  for what he did on screen  and judging from many of the womens reactions in the theater to that shot  they have grown a deeper appreciation for bacon  yeah  right   and then there is bill murray  his performance is the comic relief  and he nearly steals the film  as a whole  the entire cast works wondrously together  and they seem at home  even when doing the menage a troi  director john mcnaughton  who has previously done the critically acclaimed henry  portrait of a serial killer  has constructed a wonderfully twisty plot that works  his direction is smooth and stylish  the visuals are striking  filled with rich colors  and almost so realistic that we can actually breathe the humidity in the air  however  he seems more at home when the actors arent talking  his flyby shots of the swampy areas are brilliant  and his photography of denise richards climbing out of the pool is a highlight  the cinematography is gorgeous in its details  its not often that you see a film like this  and we should watch it just to see how the camera can take pictures  then  there is the music  this was probably the most obvious thing to me  as it set the perfect mood for the film  its hard to describe in words  so just see the film and listen to it  its wonderfully composed and presented  and be sure to stick around during the closing credits  mcnaughton has finally put the ending credits to good use  while most comedies use it for outtakes   he has included some small scenes which help explain the preceding events  some may say that these are lame attempts to explain the convoluted plot  but its an entertaining way to finish the film  plus  there are some shocking moments in these ending credits which just add to the fun  wild things is appropriately rated r for strong sexuality  nudity  language and violence  again  the nudity is rather unnecessary  but lets face itpeople want to see it  so why not give it to them  neve campbell  admirably  has a nonudity clause in her contract  and the most you see of her is from behind as she takes her top off  way to go  neve    the sex scenes are graphic  especially the first one we see  between the mother and one of her deck hands  one almost wonders how they got away with the r rating  the language is quite harsh too  ranging from sexual innuendo to your average  everyday profanity  and i cant stress it enough  dont allow kids under 18 to see this film  the target age for the movie is the 1824 range  and thats who should see it  its definitely not for those under 18  did i mention that this film is rated r  however  for those that do get a chance to watch it  you will probably more likely be pleased  and may even take friends to see it the next time  
pos	the postman delivers but not first class the postman a film review by michael redman copyright 1997 by michael redman warning  my opinion of this film is definitely in the minority of reviewers perhaps because it hits so many of my cinematic buttons  postapocalypse stories  hope in a desperate situation  grassroots uprisings and kevin costner  even worse  i thought that  waterworld  was watchable  read the following with those particular grains of salt   its the year 2013 and things have fallen apart  due to a world war in the late nineties  the resulting threeyear winter and a devastating plague  life in the former united states has been reduced to isolated primitive fiefdoms  although this is the future  it looks like a western  as the film opens  kevin costner  his characters name is never revealed  is wandering the utah wastelands with only his mule bill for company  giving extraordinarily bad shakespearean performances in exchange for food and lodging  costner is an outsider in a land of outsiders  running into even worse luck  he is forcibly conscripted into the racially pure holnist army of general bethlehem  will patton   the ragtag retrofuturistic cavalry is the descendent of militia groups and is even called the  clan  after a brutal boot camp  he  and you can see this coming a mile away  escapes  taking shelter in a wrecked postal truck  he liberates the uniform and mail bag from the skeleton in the cab who no longer has a use for either  once he reaches oregon  land of beautiful women  bright youngsters and rock and roll  he pretends to be a representative from the  restored congress of the united states of america   this scam gets him inside the walled towns where the promise of mail delivery renews optimism in the hearts of the inhabitants  food and other opportunities come his way in the form of spirited abby  olivia williams  who wants him to father a child because her husband is sterile  shortly her husband is killed by bethlehem and she and the postman  as costner is referred to for the rest of the film  become a reluctant item  although the postman knows hes running a fraud  the concept of renewed communications sets the kids imagination afire  especially ford lincoln mercury  larenz tate   his secondincommand  and they form a new pony express dedicated to getting the mail through  the revived postal service doubles as an army to fight the holnists tyranny  the postman has become a symbol for hope in a rube goldberg manner  although the movie appeals to my sensibilities  there are so many things wrong with it that they can hardly be counted  its derivitive of costners own  waterworld  and clint eastwood westerns  theres little here that we havent seen dozens of times before  the film is often downright corny  a scene where the postman is on horseback and grabs a letter from the hands of a brighteyed child is embarrassing in its slowmotion banality  the films final few minutes should have been left on the cutting room floor  despite the films excessive three hour length  several things are never explained  what was the war about  how did civilization change so rapidly  everyone has horses  where did all they come from  the  law of eights  that bethlehem lives by seems to have its origins somewhere beyond the film  but where  are we to believe that the rest of the world is in the same shape and hasnt made their way west to help or conquer  there is some jumbled symbolism here that doesnt appear to make sense  the tale is obviously saying that communication can defeat evil in much the same way that the internet has the potential to topple governments  but beyond that there are some oddities  the evil army is called  holnists  which sounds coincidentally like the new age  holism   but why  is it another coincidence that it takes place in 2013  just one year after many ancient prophesies  including the ending of the mayan calendar  predict a new world for mankind  why is the general named  bethlehem   there seems to be some reason for that  but what  sometimes the movie feels like a joke  an army of postal workers armed with guns  considering the headlines of recent years  it takes a tremendous leap of faith to cheer for these guys  its even more difficult to accept those repowering the federal government as the heroes  given the current climate of the country and the distrust of big government  its asking a lot for the audience to get behind the films nationalism  even with its numerous flaws  the movie all comes together  if only for those who have the same weaknesses that i have  its doubtful that  the postman  is going to find much of an audience  but a few of us are going to have a good time  besides were all awaiting the fall of civilization caused by the year 2000 millennium computer bug   michael redman has written this column for over 22 years and would like to announce that the  michael redman  arrested near indianapolis last week for accepting an illicit package from federal express is  to the best of his knowledge  not him  perhaps this similarlynamed person should have used kevin costners postal service   
pos	there are certain people in the world who have some talent that very few people have  but they chose not to take advantage of this for some personal reason   good will hunting  is about one of those people  the will hunting of the  horrible  title  lets face it  this film would be a bitch to title   played by cowriter matt damon  is a mathematical genius  he can do almost any mathematical connundrum in about the time it takes to brew a cup of irish cream cappuccino  and he works at mit    as the janitor  one day  the professor of one of the most challenging courses  proffessor lambeau   breaking the waves  s stellan skarsg  rd   puts a big problem on the board for his students to attempt to complete  the next day  its already done on the board  but no one in his class claims to have done it  so lambeau puts another problem on the board  this time one that took he and his colleagues over two years to prove  and  duh  its done again  of course  they catch the guy who did it red handed  will  before lambeau can find will again  he ran away when he caught him   will has gotten into a fight with a bunch of punks on a basketball court  and struck a police officer  so lambeau gets him out on probation with two agreements  a  he work with him on math  and b  he get some therapy  after going through some therapists whom he psyches out in one way or another  for a hypnotist  he fakes being under his spell  then launches into an impromptu performance of the 70s classic   afternoon delight    finally  lambeaus old college roomate  sean mcguire  robin williams   a psych professor  agrees to treat him  and the two begin a rocky relationship  as sean tries to get will to open up  turns out will had a rough childhood  being abandoned  and placed in foster homes and what not  it also turns out that will does not want to do simple mathematics all his life  he wants a challenge  and that is to hang out with his buds  including the other cowriter  ben affleck   and do honorable jobs  like construction  is it right to make this genius follow in the footsteps of einstein and kasinsky  should this guy be forced to do something he doesnt want to do  this appears to be one of the million questions in this film  which is jampacked with greatness  but does not have the totally brilliant whole it should  im not saying  good will hunting  is a bad film at all  its a very enjoyable film with tons of great moments  and lots of great things about it  the acting is amazing  with two oscarnominationworthy performances from damon and williams  who have amazing chemistry together  we also get some great support from stellan skarsg  rd  great name   ben affleck  and from minnie driver  who plays wills love interest  skylar  there are tons of individual moments that i adored  i loved all the comedy in the film  especially a scene where damon proves a schmuck out of a college student who is quoting a historian to impress some chicks  his various attempts at therapy  and of course  my favorite scene in the entire film  the one where he delivers a long  exstensive rant to some nsa agents about the downside of working for them  i liked the relationship between some of the people  like will and skylar  will and sean  sean and lambeau  and will and his friends  there are scenes between them which are just amazing to watch  and there are even moments in the film which are so honest in their portrayal  that i felt rightfully uncomfortable  like the breakup scene between will and skylar  will and seans first meeting  a bar scene between sean and lambeau  and a scene where sean tells in detail how he doesnt regret meeting his first wife  who would later suffer a slow  painful death  and leave him lonely and slightly bitter  however  the main flaw of the film is theres too much of everything  and not enough of it either  the film tries for deeper relations between the characters  but theyre sometimes either overwritten or underwritten  take for example the relationship between sean and will  the film gets an interesting fatherson as well as doctorpatient relationship going with out any problems  but when it tries to show them as equals  it falls on its face  we hear how they went to the same town  and there are even scenes where the film shows how hypocritical both of them are at times  but this never takes off like the other parts of their relationship do  also  wills relationship with his best friend  chuckie  affleck   has a nice climax  but not enough rising action  we see them joking around  but when chuckie arrives at a decision between the two of them  it seems more like a superficial reasoning than a more selected one  their relationship never goes beyond  just best friends   and his decision just seems to be a generalization of any two best friends instead of something more    human  maybe it was just me  and it also goes for a parallelism with the relationship between sean and lambeau  but that  again  is underwritten  and  of course  as in most films like this  the girlboy relationship is pretty underwritten  we never understand what they see in each other  so when skylar confesses that she loves him  it seems more like its there for plot details that anything else  minnie driver is interesting  though  and breathes life into her character  the writing is a bit at fault here  but what makes all this worthwhile is the little moments in the film where it acheives true awesomeness  sure  it feels overstuffed  but its extremely enjoyable  the dialogue that affleck and damon have written is amazingly fresh  and seems extremely human  i think that they should get a nomination for their script chiefly because of the dialogue  which is amazing  while this is probably director gus van sants most conservative film  youd hardly know its the same director of  to die for   the only van sant film ive seen  really   its still a pretty remarkable film  albeit a tad overrated  whats this  best picture  deal    and if a film puts a smile on my face despite posessing a lot of flaws  i have no problem with reccomending it to anyone  
pos	i guess its a credit to jackie chan and the general likeability of the franchise that rush hour 2 could not be ruined even by the nauseating  comedy  of chris tucker  im a fan of jackie chan in just about any medium  and this movie lets him not only do his impressiveasever martial arts schtick  but show off his comic timing as well  it would have worked better if he was the only name above the title  the plot is your basic martial arts flick clothesline for stunts and special effects  this time around  the evil smugglers are led by ricky tan  john lone   who makes his fortune by shipping counterfeit money into the united states  im still not sure how you can make a fortune doing that  is there a place where one can exchange fake bills for real ones    the only way to tell the phony money from the genuine article is to set it on fire and see what color it burns  of course  its up to hong kong detective lee  chan  and trashtalking lapd detective james carter  tucker  to take the bad guys out and the authorities  to the extent that they even exist  stay out of their way  rush hour 2 turns the tables on the first film in that here its carter who gets the two of them into trouble and lee who winds up having to get them out  i guarantee that my rating would have been at least a half of a grade higher had anyone other than chris tucker been cast as the foil for jackie chan  he refuses to shut up  not only did his voice feel like a jackhammer on my head  but his jokes just arent funny  a pathetic mixture of subpar eddie murphy fasttalking blather and wannabe chris rock whitemanblackman jokes that wind up being more offensive than funny  i realize that in a movie like this some of the biggest laughs come from letting the actors ad lib beyond what the script dictates  but didnt anyone realize how irritating tuckers incessant ranting and raving was  if this is all the comedian has to offer then i dont care to see any more of his films  fortunately  chan makes for a marvelous straight man  and he redeems the fledgling comedy completely  its not often that one actor can so completely save a movie  but there is no other name for what he does  whenever hes on screen  rush hour 2 comes to nearly breathtaking  often hilarious  life  much of it hinges on the dubious value of how cute it is to watch chan try to be a  player   but who cares  i can think of few high concepts that are funnier  the movie ends with outtakes that  as usual  show that chan isnt perfect  and that it does  indeed  take him a few tries to get some of his incredible stunts to look seamless  chris tucker botches some lines as well  and his mistakes are funnier than anything he says in the whole movie  a lot of people have pointed out rush hour 2 isnt very different from its predecessor in tone or style  but i liked the original  and i like the sequel  though a certain sidekick seems to have done his best to ruin it  director brett ratner  the family man  keeps it moving at an entertaining pace and manages to keep the laughs coming despite the fairly miserable hit to miss ratio of the jokes  i guess sometimes the shotgun approach works   its not great jackie chan  but its jackie chan  and thats enough  up next  jay and silent bob strike back 
pos	some critics  including siskel  ebert  are on the record stating that martin scorseses raging bull  the story of boxer jake la motta  is the best film of the 80s  since there are still a number of 80s films that i havent seen  i dont feel qualified to make such a judgment  but ill say this without hesitation  raging bull is a great motion picture  and i would be surprised if more than a handful of films released between january 1  1980 and december 31  1989 come close to its level  biopics often fall into one of two categories  overblown hero worship or a dry  dull textbook account  its rare that a movie with the moniker  based on the life of   comes across as anything more than sporadically energetic and marginally entertaining  raging bull is the perfect counterexample  and a brilliant argument for film makers to continue to work in this genre  the picture takes the life of boxer jake la motta  a middleweight icon from the 40s and 50s  and develops one of the most compelling character studies ever to reach the big screen  for all 129 minutes  director martin scorsese and actor robert de niro  in the title role  have us mesmerized by this individual who is by turns sympathetic  sad  and horrifying  historically  raging bull is said to be mostly accurately  with the lions share of the details culled from la mottas own autobiography  which was cowritten with joseph carter and peter savage   however  although la motta is credited as the movies  consultant   he was reportedly unhappy with the final result  because it portrays him as nothing short of an uncouth  insensitive lout  the la motta of the movie is a man of extreme appetites who is driven by base  bestial impulses  paranoia  jealousy  and blind rage  sex and violence are inextricably linked  the title is apt  la motta is a raging bull  in the ring  he is a terror  not just beating his opponents  but destroying them  outside of it  he is no less vicious or more easily controlled  the two people who spar with him on lifes canvas are his wife  vicki  cathy moriarty   and his brothermanager  joey  joe pesci   these are the two who mean the most to jake  and who  as a result of his inability to trust himself or others  he loses  he beats vicki mercilessly because he suspects her of infidelity  and  when he inaccurately believes that his brother betrayed him  his lets loose with an explosion of violence  raging bull opens in 1941 when la motta  an upandcoming fighter  is battling his way into the upper echelon of the middleweight class  over the years  he wins several key bouts  including one against his archrival  sugar ray robinson  johnny barnes   but his unwillingness to capitulate with the local godfather keeps him from an opportunity to participate in a championship match  meanwhile  away from the ring  la motta falls in love with 15year old vicki  who he marries after discarding his shrewish first wife  vicki becomes jakes greatest prize  a wife  in his view  is not a companion  but a possession  and the source of his most extreme pain  his own insecurity is so great that he cannot accept that a woman as beautiful as vicki could be faithful to him  hence  he is constantly haunted by a belief that she is sleeping with someone else  perhaps even his brother   this leads to the famous line parodied in waiting for guffman and elsewhere   are you f   king my wife      in the late 40s  la motta gets his first shot at a championship fight  but with one huge condition  he must take a fall  he does it so badly that an investigation is launched and he is almost thrown out of boxing  two years later  he wins the championship  only to lose it in a subsequent bout to sugar ray  by the late 50s and early 60s  when the film ends  jake has become a pathetic figure  a broke  overweight loser who has spent time in jail for corrupting the morals of a minor  has lost his wife and children  and is trying to earn a few bucks by doing a cheap standup routine  raging bull is the other side of rocky  sylvester stallones tale of boxing triumph was released to great critical acclaim in 1976  it won the 1977 best picture oscar  and a sequel arrived in theaters before raging bull went into production  but  where rocky romanticizes boxing  raging bull takes a cold  unflinching look at the violence both inside and outside of the ring  while scorseses primary aim is to present a riveting deconstruction of la motta the man  he never backs away from showing the seedy  ugly underside of a sport where gambling  greed  and organized crime force fighters to throw matches to continue working  rocky shows boxing at its noblest  raging bull shows it at its most diseased  theres little i can say here that hasnt already said about de niros performance  in a career that has included many fine roles  this is his most outstanding  the level of intensity de niro brings to la motta is unwavering  and  although theres a lot of travis bickle  de niros character in taxi driver  in la motta  scorsese and de niro go to great lengths to make sure that  if we never fully sympathize with him  at least we understand the forces that drive him  this is a complete characterization and a perfect example of acting  as the younger jake  de niro is trim and fit  as the fat  older man  de niro gained 50 pounds and turned his body into a grotesque parody of its normal form  how many actors would go that far  the best oscar statue is only one testimony to the lasting power of the performance  cathy moriarty and joe pesci both earned nominations for their supporting work  although neither won   their portrayals have the same raw energy that infuses de niros  pesci  who has basically recreated the same personality in two other scorsese films  goodfellas and casino   presents joey as a slightly more intelligent version of his brother  the misogyny and violence are still there  only better concealed  but  when joey snaps  as he does in one scene where he pounds on a mobster  frank vincent   its startling to behold  moriarty  on the other hand  must play the temptress with virginal qualities  the only kind of woman who would ensnare jake  later  shes called upon to portray the battered wife and mother whose love has turned into fear  scorsese and cinematographer michael chapman elected to shoot the bulk of raging bull in blackandwhite  a few  home movie  segments are in color   the choice is perfect for the movie  giving raging bull a unique look in an era when a blackandwhite approach is almost unheard of   one important recent exception  schindlers list  eschewed color for some of the same reasons that raging bull did   in blackandwhite  especially considering scorseses choice of shots and use of slow motion   the violence is stark and disturbing  theres no room for romanticism in the ring with inky black blood staining the canvas  during fight sequences  the director also uses a number of pointofview shots designed to show the world  however briefly  from la mottas perspective  scorsese could have chosen to end the film with la mottas loss to sugar ray  where he surrendered his middleweight crown  after that  his career was all downhill  yet the director allows the film to run for thirty minutes after this pivotal moment  stretching more than a decade into la mottas future  the reason is obvious  scorsese isnt as interested in boxing as he is in the character  following his retirement  la motta is still as violent and volatile as ever  but he has lost the arena in which he can legally unleash those tendencies  we see the results of this beast let loose on society and how the consequences of his actions reduce him to a parody of his former self  who cannot feel a surge of pity for la motta as he quietly recites marlon brandos speech from on the waterfront    i coulda been a contenda    perhaps raging bull is indeed the best film of the 80s  and  if not  its certainly perilously close to the zenith  
pos	much ballyhoo has been made over this new version of  lolita   made in a time when one would think that a faithful adaptation of the infamous novel could be made  over its use of pedophilia  and as such  its important to address it straightforwardly  before any other ideals such as goodness and themes can be discussed  as this film has been in film limbo for a number of years  lying around in vaults san a distributor  and having critics waiting to either hail it a masterpiece or call it anticlimactic horseshit  when seeing this film  after all the hoopla  keeping in mind that there are people  namely me  who are fans of the novel  who have been eagerly awaiting this flick since its creation    well  you just have to wonder why no one really picked it up for distribution  whats even worse is that seeing this  lolita   especially the first time and if youre familiar with anything  lolita   is admittingly very anticlimactic  this is a real pity because when you really sit down to watch this film  ignoring all the crap that has preceeded it  its really quite a film  perhaps the best film by director adrian lyne  although  really  look at its competition   flashdance    fatal attraction   and  indecent proposal    at least besides  jacobs ladder   ive seen this  lolita  twice  the first time  i wasnt so blown away  it seemed overly dramatic and surprisingly unaffecting  the second time  not really thinking about how ive waited for what seems like forever to see it and how im seeing it on a tv set on a premium cable channel and not a giant movie theatre  it really affected me emotionally  the story itself is a surprisingly heartbreaking one  which is why its such a good novel  and why this is such a good film  the story of a pedophile obsessed with a young 14year old girl named dolores a  k  a  lolita is great because its not trash for the perverted but because its about human obsession with things that are out of ones reach  its protagonist  the comicallynamed humbert humbert  is not your average pedophile  but a seriously wounded human being who embodies how we are all destroyed by our sick obsessions and idosyncrasies  the character of lolita is almost a symbol of the forbidden apple in christian mythology  something that will destroy us but that we cant live without  these ideas are all worked into this film nicely  but done in a way that is not heavyhanded at all  but instead lyrical and emotionally devastating  the focus of this film  and the reason for making it  it seems  was to really penetrate the emotional depths of the novel and bring them to life on the screen in beautifully dramatic images  and scenes which are blatantly overstylized  the tone of the book is a comical one  but its also a tragic one  and humbert  telling the story from his perspective  blows every single thing out of perspective  humbert exists in a fantsy world of his obsessions and desires  and this reflects the way the entire film has been designed  we get a sense that perhaps its by doing this that humbert has really trapped himself into a fate that will ultimately leave him haggard and destroyed  he weeps uncontrollably and never lets himself get over his original 14yearold love  and allows himself to embody her as lolita  he lets his feelings for her navigate all his decisions  and by the end  he has nothing but overlydramatic feelings for her  the story recognizes the extreme of this  almost out of a test  seeing if the readers will really sympathize with someone who is socially deemed a pervert  and one almost wonders while reading the book if the author  vladimir nabokov  wrote the book as a means to bring into focus his own sick obsessions  and perhaps bring them to peace  the weirdest thing about this film is that by the end  when humbert has reached the finale of his obsessional journey  we can easily sympathize and even identify with him  the opening and final images of the film are the same  and who hasnt done a similar action  that is wandering about without any sense of reality or anything else but a deep sadness in us  this is the second time the novel has been adapted for the screen  the first time being filmed in  shock  1962  by stanley kubrick  who couldnt possibly have brought the novel to the screen with as much faithfulness as lyne has been able to do  but did the next best thing  he economized for everything and came up with a droll black comedy about obsession in general  in that film  he used the traps of society as benefits  the studio demanded the final scene  that of a heinous murder  come first in the film so to portray humbert first as a murderer and second as a pedophile    and when you see it  it gives the film depth of a man trapped by obsession  the censors wouldnt allow anymore than a couple glances and subtle dialogue to show the  um  relationship between humbert and lolita  so kubrick decided to play it as comedy  but still allow the tragedy to seep through  looking at these two versions  especially after reading the novel  and we all know that when weve read a novel and see a film adaptation  we are bound to be angered by any size differences   its really impossible to compare them  they both go for different things  and one has a lot more room to be as sexually frank as the novel was  and although its true that several scenes are similar  and are thus up for comparison  overall its unfair to say which one is better and which one is worse  i have never been one for saying the level of greatness of a film adaptation of a novel is deemed by how faithful it is  and i wont say that here  however  this film is pretty amazing  mostly because hey  i loved the book  and this film nearly reminded me of it  it doesnt have nearly as much wit  a couple comical scenes  and even a lot of good chuckles  but just not totally witty   but it does have the same emotional toll that the novel had  some of that is in the casting of the two leads  jeremy irons  with his deep  soft british voice and gentle look  is an amazing humbert  hes droll in a very unique way  and  well  no one can look distraught the way he does  he brings a wonderful sympathy to the role that goes beyond pathos and really comes up as being easy to identify with the audience  and when he looks at lolita with love  and she looks at him with lust  you know that hes her prisoner for as long as he lives  and dominique swain  who plays the title character  is rather incredible  she pulls off the tough role even better than sue lyon did in the original  wonderfully balancing the qualities of seduction  bratiness  and selfcenteredness that marks the character  its easy to see why she surrenders to humbert  she loves the attention  and knows that she can have her way with him at any time  when he denies her something  she blackmails him effortlessly  a scene involving a rocking chair and a little foot action is damn near classic   and when he stands up to her  she weeps and runs away  leaving humbert to follow her  there are two other minor characters in the film  one whos a road block in the beginning  and the other whos a reappearing threat to the relationship  the former is charlotte  lolitas mother  played by melanie griffith  in the book  charlotte is a monster of a woman  overbearing  constantly scolding her child  overlyreligious  and ultimately selfish  and shes the one obstacle humbert has to overcome to obtain his goal  at least in the beginning  as played by shelly winters in the original  she represented all these qualities  as played by griffith here  shes about half of them  its annoying to watch a film and play a game where you try to see who could have done the role way better than the one on screen without mentioning the actor who played them first  and even though griffith is not really bad  persay  shes nothing more  the other is clare quilty  the writer who is also trying to seduce lolita  and succeeds  but at a price  langella takes a totally different direction than the one peter sellars took in the original  quilty was a comic character in the original  a threat in the form of many forms  popping in states of rambling  german  proning  and eventually drunk  langella takes the other route  allowing all of the creepiness to be unearthed  and the result is a character who exists in shadows and low shots  and who meets a wonderfully ironic ending  the exact opposite of what we thought of him  as you can see  most of these are not improvements or mistakes done on the part of lyne and his screenwriter  stephen schiff  but just parts of a whole new look at the novel  at least cinemawise  this version is beautiful  and perpetually saddening  the camera movements are stylized  and each shot is breathtakingly rich  the acting is for the most part wonderful  and when we watch it  we really get a sense that for humbert  who is telling the story  the only two people on earth most of the time were humbert and lolita  more importantly  it takes us right up the brink of emotion  then jumps right over it  by the end  with humbert sadly driving recklessly in his car  following what he says is the only part of his life he doesnt regret  we feel that we all lose to something we can never have  
pos	capsule  sidesplitting comedy that follows its own merciless logic almost through to the end    but not without providing a good deal of genuine laughs  most comedies these days have one flaw  theyre not funny  they think theyre funny  but they are devoid of anything really penetrating or dastardly  occasionally a good funny movie sneaks past the deadening hollywood preconceptions of humor and we get a real gem  ruthless people  for instance  which established a microcosm of a setup and played it out to the bitter end  liar liar is built the same way and is just about as funny  this is one of the few movies ive seen where i was laughing consistently almost all the way through  instead of a couple of setpieces that inspired a laugh  think of the dismal fatal instinct   the whole movie works like clockwork  jim carrey playes a highpowered lawyer  to whom lying is as natural as breathing  there is one thing he takes seriously  though  his son  and we can sense the affection that they have for each other right away  but his wife is divorced and seeing another man  and now it looks like they may move away together  the son goes with them  of course  the movie sets up this early material with good timing and a remarkable balance of jim carreys overthetop persona with reality  then the plot springs into action  after being snubbed  not deliberately  by his father at his birthday  the kid makes a wish as he blows out the birthday candles  that for just one day  dad cant lie  he gets the wish  what happens next is sidesplitting  everything turns into a confrontation  when cornered by a bum for some change  he shouts   no  im not giving you any money because i know youll spend it on booze  all i want to do is to get to the office without having to step over the debris of our decaying society   he cant even get into an elevator without earning a black eye  and whats worse  hes now gotten himself into an expensive divorce settlement that requires him to twist the truth like abstract wire sculpture  carrey  who i used to find unfunny  has gotten better at his schtick  even if its a limited one  he uses it to great effect in this movie  there is a scene where he tries to test his ability to lie and nearly demolishes his office in the process  theres a grin breaking out across my face right now  just remembering the scene   he cant even write the lie  his fingers twitch  his body buckles like someone in the throes of cyanide poisoning  and when he tries to talk its like hes speaking in tongues  equally funny is a scene where he beats himself to a pulp  dont ask why   tries to drink water to keep from having outbursts in the courtroom  it fails  with semipredictable results   and winds up biting the bullet when he gets called into the boardroom to have everyone ask what they think of them  this scene alone may force people to stop the tape for minutes on end  the movie sustains its laughs and also its flashes of insight until almost the end  a shame  too  because the movie insists on having a big  ridiculous climax that involves carreys character flagging down a plane using a set of motorized stairs  then breaking his leg  etc  a simple reconciliation would do the trick  why is this stupid pentup climax always obligatory  its not even part of the movies real agenda  thankfully  liar liar survives it  and so does carrey  maybe they were being merciful  on reflection  if id laughed any more  i might have needed an iron lung  
pos	maybe the most important thing about this movie is that its not handled like the hallmark hall of fame movie of the month  because it very well could have been a manipulative tearjerker  broadcasted on abc on a monday night  starring kelly martin and yasmeen bleeth  respectively  because its not handled like the greatest story ever told is precisely why its so great  underneath the todiefor cinematography  the brilliant acting  and incessantly wonderful direction is a film of modesty  not sure whether or not this story is totally great but with the balls to run with it  tell it in a certain original way  it doesnt merely go from plot point to plot point  it goes from character to character  it obsesses itself with the depth and the style of it all  and makes the story of a worldreknowned cellist who contracts ms and dies prematurely into the story of two sisters  both musicians  who have a totally unique relationship  its that their relationship is the center of the story that makes this film transcend any cornball  shamelessly tired tearjerker qualities it could have had and makes this  unlike  patch adams   effortlessly emotional and real  in short  this movie is just awesome  it merely tells its story really well  and thats something that just has to be commended these days  when most stories are botched because theyre not told by great storytellers  director anand tucker tells this story well  he overdramaticizes everything  but still keeps it real  the film tells the story of hilary and jacqueline du pr   rachel griffiths and emily watson  respectively   two sisters who are first seen in childhood  played by auriol evans and keely flanders  respectively  as the very best of friends  they are also both musicians  hilary a flutist and jackie a cellist  and when it all begins  both are considered child prodigies  but hilary is seen as the better of the two  jackie  a bit jealous  works and works at her playing skills  and soon the tables are turned  when they both hit adulthood  hilary strives for a comeback  while her sister is playing in famous halls around the world  but instead of fame  captures the heart of a hapless  joyful conductor  kiffer finzi  david morissey  in a semistarmaking turn   they marry  after a short courtship  and move to a lovely country house  making jackie incredibly jealous since her cello playing becomes a symbol of her current life  when she plays  she has the eyes of the world  but when she stops  shes alone  she enters into a shallow relationship with an equally famous pianist  daniel barenboim  james frain   in hopes that she may overcloud her sister  but she eventually begins to lose it  and runs away to hilarys country home  where she hopes to gain admittance by hilary to sleep with her husband  since no one she sleeps with gives her any pleasure  its all terribly melodramtic  as you can see  and by the time jackie has contracted ms  in a brilliantly edited scene that surpasses the breakdown scene in the semismiliar  shine  in technical and emotional devastation   it would have been the time that i could easily call the sign for melodramatic overload if it hadnt been handled in such a way  the key thing here is that its not about her gradual death and slip into insanity but rather that its about her tumultuous relationship with her sister  which  i might add  is perfectly realized  their relationship is the most downtoearth complex entity of the year  they love eachother more than anyone else in the entire world  but theyre also completely jealous of one another  when a young jackie surpasses her playing abilities  she tries in vain to make a comeback but cant  and almost seems to marry to get back at jackie for her success  when jackie lands on top and sees her sister marry a wonderful man  she is jealous of her lifestyle to the most extensive brinks that ive ever seen in a film  only two sisters who truly love eachother would dare share the same man   and the whole time  their love for eachother is never doubted or even tested  another thing i really liked is emily watsons performance  i usually make it a note to never overpraise an actor for playing either a drunkard or a lunatic or someone with a mortal disease  or any combination of the three   my reasoning for this is that its a fucking easy job  the worst case for this very year may be thandie newton in  beloved   sure  shes good  but whats so tough about playing a woman who stumbles around  slurs her words together  and acts like a three year old inside a 20year olds body  hell  i could play that if i had a pair of breasts  in that same exact movie  though  is a performance by kimberly elise where she has to be the rock that holds the family together as her mother slowly goes insane  her brothers run off never to be seen again  and her mothers lover is scared off  she has to actually deal with real emotions  something much harder than mere stumbling about  but the academy of arts and sciences loves loves loves overpraising performances like newtons  if you dont believe me  look at jack nicholsons performance in  as good as it gets   great performance  but easy job  this isnt so for watson  though  because her insanity comes from real emotions  not just a plot point  and thanks to the opening sequence  where we see her and hilary as kids  we understand the motives behind all her actions  and by the time she actually contracts ms and begins to loose her sanity and her life  weve already understood that this is the last straw for a woman plagued with terrible neuroses  rachel griffiths  who would have otherwise been the understudy to watsons protagonist  actually matches watson stepforstep  because as watson grows insane  and demands unspeakable things from her  griffiths holds her own  and has to deal with what she is able to give her sister who needs emotional help from her  griffiths  an otherwise unknown actress  and watson being famous from  breaking the waves  and  the boxer    is absolutely brilliant  just as absolutely brilliant as watson is  and if the academy and all the other critics groups  whove already deemed watsons performance the best of the year  glance over hers because shes the one who doesnt get to go insane  read  she gets the boring role   then the scream of hysteria you hear will be from me  after all  griffiths has the thankless job of keeping things real  the tom cruise role in  rainman   the one who should have gotten oscar consideration and not hoffman   she does  and if anyone deserves accolades from the academy this year  its griffiths  together  the two actresses work extremely well  though  and both have to go through deep emotional hell  the likes of which havent been seen this year  if it hadnt been for an otherwise nottotallygreat final section that deals way too much with jackie and not enough with hilary  when the two had gotten equal treatment for the entirety   id say this is one of the top ten best films of the year  its so close to perfection  in its structure  its treatment of its subject  and its beautiful technical specifications  cinematography nomination  without a shred of doubt in my mind  and maybe film editing   that its nearly a shame that its not the flawless gem that it should be  but  hey  as it is  i can hardly complain  
pos	as i write the review for the new hanksryan romantic comedy youve got mail  i am acutely aware that i am typing it on a computer and sending it a billion miles away on the internet  i am also aware that i have just spent the last 2 hours watching the worlds biggest paid commercial for america online  and i wonder  is that so bad  well  the commercial part is  as for the movie  well  as long as i can watch tom hanks and meg ryan  i think ill be okay  to paraphrase james berardinelli  whose reviews i admire very much  tom hanks and meg ryan can act  they are both wonderful  but for all of hanks glorious work in serious films  such as his magnificent performance in saving private ryan  and his glorious triumph in philadelphia  i like him best when hes suitably obnoxious  tom hanks is wonderful when he is obnoxious in a romantic comedy when hes going to get the girl  the only question is how  meg ryan  americas high school sweetheart  can act  shes had a handful of memorable performances  including the great scene in the diner in when harry met sally  i must not mention what she does  due to the  well  um  you get the idea  and if you dont  get the movie fantastic   but  i like her best when shes  well  perky  she is so adorably perkycute that together with hanks  they are the most amazing onscreen duo in my short lifetime  some people have them going back to really old classic romantic couples  but i dont really know  all i know is that i just like them both  they have such wonderfully kinetic chemistry thats really hard to resist  and im not going to even try  theyre just really  really cute  sweet  and charming  hanks and ryan collaborate once again with nora ephron  who directed them in the megahit sleepless in seattle  here  the setup is a little different  kathleen kelly  ryan  owns a small childrens bookstore which her mother founded 42 years ago and passed down to her  she is successful  beautiful  and dates a wellknown columnist with very radical idea  kinnear   she is also having an affair  of sorts  you see  kathleen  with the handle shopgirl  is secretly emailing ny152  they have a strictly undetailed relationship  there are no specifics  and they have no idea who each other is  ny152 happens to be joe fox  hanks   a multimillionaire bookseller who is the heir to the fortune of the fox chain of megabookstores  run by his father  coleman   fox books has decided to open a store on the west side  right across from a little childrens bookseller named  shop around the corner   run by a perky girl named kathleen kelly  every morning  these two email each other silly  and every day  they fight  to the death     its a charming premise  and one that works nicely  balancing the immense troubles kathleen is in with the romance she wants to have  it also has the great sense of being a classic romance  there is no  lets have sex tonight  mantra  if youll excuse my bluntness  this is a solid romance built around that vague concept of love  hmm  well  the movie goes through twists and turns  having some sad moments and happy ones  until at one moment tom hanks and meg ryan  hook up   to use modern terminology  and kiss their way into happiness  you know its going to happen  the question is now  thankfully  ephron has a wonderful supporting cast with posey  kinnear  chappelle  and a host of others  including a great scene involving brothers  aunts  and two sweet kids  its all cute and wonderful  and for all of the idealism  it makes me feel good  hanks is as obnoxious as ever on the outside and as warm on the inside as he always is  he is  i believe  americas greatest actor  does he show it here  nah  but hes still tom hanks  and shes still meg ryan  which is what this movie boils down to  its pure confection  all the bits about the godfather  the jokes  the superb script  its all really sweet  there are some immense flaws  like pacing  the last third of the movie really doesnt work as well as i would have liked  and for a romantic comedy  its slow  once hanks knows the secret  it gets really slow  i even looked at my watch a couple times  to make sure ephron was going to deliver the big onscreen kiss i was waiting for  so that i could get home at a reasonable hour  the other problem is that this movie is shaping up to be really dated  email  when my kids are my age  i dont know what well be using  but hanks can do more with one eyeroll than anybody  and meg ryan just loves to dive into a pillow better than anyone in movie history  they just work together  and its nice to see  it gives you  well  a smile  the script helps with some great lines that are absolutely hilarious  and that always come at the exact right time to keep the audience awake  i was arguing with my father on the drive back home on what the purpose of movies was  ive always believed that movies are very powerful  very powerful indeed  you see  mankind has three abilities he needs to survive  the ability to think  entertain  and procreate  movies can definitely do the first two  and as for the third  well  id rather not think about that  i always thought films that made you think enlightened you and made you see something from another viewpoint  and that films that entertained you were good  because you forgot about your troubles and thought about something nice for a night  and i was thinking about how incredible a year tom hanks has had  hanks was the driving force behind one of the years best films in saving private ryan  which is one of those thinking films that truly made someone wonder about the world  hes also half of the glue behind the years best example of pure entertainment  tom hanks and meg ryan are magical  as is this movie  its a sweet  lovely affair with a technology twist  it may be a long commercial  but it gave me a pretty big smile on my face  
pos	are we victims of fate in life or can we create our own destiny  directorwriter brad anderson seems to be saying yes to both questions in his witty film  next stop wonderland   the two main characters  alan and erin  spend the entire movie in each others orbit  catching glimpses of one another  yet not quite connecting until the inevitable conclusion  is it fate that keeps them near each other and ultimately puts them together  does this predestination carry over to all aspects of life  as the film starts  erin castleton  hope davis   a melancholy 29 year old late shift nurse  is ending her livein relationship with her boyfriend  hoffman   rather  he is ending it with her  arriving home from work  erin finds her boyfriend parked in front of their apartment  car packed with his belongings  in a fumbling  amusing and self deluding ramble  he instructs erin to watch a videotape hes made detailing why their relationship is doomed to fail and why hes leaving  its obvious he lacks the courage to confront her directly as he rails on about accomplishing something with his life and taking a stand  all the while backpedaling his way out of their relationship  he then flees the scene with the grace of an inept thief  erins mother  holland taylor  in a surprisingly effective  small role   fearing that her daughter will be without a man in her life  takes out a personal ad for erin  to erins embarrassed horror  the ad describes her as a  frisky  cultured  carefree professional with a zest for life   eventually  erin responds to the tidal wave of responses  which makes for some of the most humorous  telling moments of the movie as she meets prospective suitors and  poseurs   alan  a plumber and aspiring marine biologist  first spots erin as hes cleaning the inside glass of a fish tank at the boston aquarium  wearing a wet suit and goggles  he follows erin from window to window  separated by the glass as erin  oblivious to his gaze  enjoys the fish  later  we see him on a train as she sits on a platform outside  mere feet away  the movie spends its entirety having their paths circle each other without crossing  there are several subplots involving alan  one concerns his attempts to get on the job track at the boston aquarium  thereby escaping his apparent fate to carry on the family plumbing business  another subplot involves his fathers desperate attempts to force fates hand by gambling away his life at the dog track  a distracting focus is put on alans debt to a loan shark and the manner in which he pays it off  the movie tries too hard to make alan a likable guy  thankfully  his dream guy persona is counterbalanced by erins distant  yet fundamentally hopeful  personality  the film moves along at an unhurried pace  albeit too much so in the latter third  as we wait for the two to meet  cowriters anderson and lyn vaus throw a couple of possible red herrings into the mix as the two find other possible relationships  the films shifts into a much slower gear as we wait for these romances to blow over  when alan and erin eventually do meet  we see that perhaps they both were destined for each other as they share a lingering  almost subliminally knowing  gaze  its a sweet  measured moment  the disappointment comes in the fact that weve come to know the pair  yet we dont get to view their impending romance  the films inherent belief in the subtle persistence of fate and the wonder it can bring to ones life makes  next stop wonderland  a quiet pleasure in a cinematic landscape littered with explosions  shallow characters and overdone special effects  
pos	im an avid fan of the  alien  saga  so this review is obviously a tad biased  at least i admitted it   of course  that doesnt mean that im gonna be giving this a fourstar review or something  because  alien  resurrection   the fourth film in the coolashell series is not an absolutely amazing film  much like the first two were  however  its a very good film which never fails to entertain  and consists of yet another mutation in the style of the series  in short  i had a good time   alien  resurrection  leaves off 200 years after the last one  where our heroine protagonist  ellen ripley  sigourney weaver   the science fiction genres answer to job  had killed herself after discovering that an alien was inside her body  waiting to pop out like it did to john hurt in the first one  of course  the last one wasnt very great or anything  i liked it  though not as much as the first two   and more importantly  it wasnt financially successful  a tawdry 55 million bucks    so back we are  with ripley back as a clone  which means we get another little satirical look at cloning  not that thats a bad thing  but its becoming a cliche   so shes cloned aboard an even more futuristiclooking ship called  the auriga  by some doctors  including the necessary bad government guy  dr  wren  played by j  e  freeman  as well as the littleseen dr  gediman  played by none other than brad douriff   mainly because they have a version of her with the alien still inside her  once you get past the fact that you cant figure out where they got her blood  although i think it might have been from the blood samples taken by charles dance in the third one   the films okay  also on board are a band of mercenary pirates  including michael wincott  ron perlman  kim flowers  raymond cruz  dominique pinon  a jeunet sytable  and    winona ryder  who plays analee call  who turns out to have a bit of a secret  i wont state it  but unless youve been shacking up with salinger for the past two years  you probably know all about it  although its nicely covered up   theres a bit of a nonsexualyetslightlyhomoerotic relationship between her and ripley  but its never really deepened enough  oh well  well  as you might have guessed  the alien and its spawn escape and run around the ship  and it pretty much does away with most of the people on the ship  including some shocks  dan hedaya  for instance  whos death is comical yet sad since  well  hes dan hedaya   and the remaining people  about 7 or 8  are left to try and escape and stop the aliens from doing any major harm since the ship is heading quickly towards earth  of course  the plot is all balderdash  and just an excuse for some good old  alien  brand fun  the real focus of the series seems to be on style  not really substance  although theres always a bit of it  most notably in  aliens  with the relationship between ripley and the little girl   whats interesting about the series is that each film is stylistically different in its approach   alien  is a claustrophobic exercise in quiet frights   aliens  is a wild  tense thriller   alien 3  is a bleak  moody piece of seminoir   alien 4  is kind of like an offbeat french film  filled with lots of humor  and cool scares  jeanpierre jeunet  without his usual directing partner  marc caro  creates a ship filled with the kind of scares films like  das boot  has  with echoes hinting at a possible threat  the chills in the film are really cool  especially with the music  which is sometimes turned down completely for certain scenes  theres the most tense surgery scene since  faceoff  towards the beginning   and not every chill turns into a bloody mess or anything like that  this all combined with some good old humor makes this as interesting visually and stylistically as the others  there are even a couple scenes which just stick out afterwards as being brilliantly executed  one is the aforementioned surgery scene  another one takes place between call and ripley  which is just awesome  the underwater chase scene and the ladder scene afterwards is one of the most tense  thrilling  and jawdropping scenes in the entire saga  with a small allusion to jeunets earlier film   delicatessen    and the way they do in the final alien is hysterically cool  with a lovely allusion to  goldfinger    but the best scene in the entire film  im sure im not the first to mention it  takes place when ripley sees all the variations on her as they cloned her  she has a an  8  tatooed on her arm   it might be the most emotionally stimulating scene in the entire saga  the screenplay by joss whedon is not a great piece of work  as it never really deapens a lot of the characters  however  it does make us care about most of them  so that when theres very little of them  and it looks like one or more of them may become alien chow  we are pretty scared  and  yeah  there are some very funny lines  ripley   who do i have to fuck to get off this boat    johner   well  i can get you off  but not this ship    the acting is good all around  with standout performances from ron perlman as the male chauvenist pig johner  and leland orser  the poor bastad in  se7en  who performed the  lust  sin  as an anxietyridden wannabe woody allen who has an alien inside him  winona ryder is good  but not amazing like she usually is  although she meshes well with the film   of course  and as usual  sigourney weaver steals the show  playing a variation on the ripley character  less emotional  and more rude and bitter   she pulls it off while still being utterly lovable  shes not going to get an oscar nomination like she did for  aliens   but shes just awesome  overall  its a thrilling  entertaining film which doesnt really amaze like the first two  but is much more amazing than the third installment  the style is the best part of the film  which isnt really a bad thing  but it being the best part takes away from a lot of the depth the film occasionally tries to apply  but its entertaining as hell  and its definitely fit for the  alien  series  
pos	it may seem weird to begin a film about glam rock with a sequence that includes a spaceship  a green ovular pin  and the birth of oscar wilde  but if one really strains  they can see that perhaps maybe these connections are not half off  wildes philosophy was that everyone should be true to their own human nature  and the result of his following this philosophy was that he was imprisoned  loosing his family and his career  the glam rock movement in the early 70s in england had a similar take and came to a similar demise  the main difference was by placing makeup on their face and acting out on their deepest fantasies and inquiries about life  mostly dealing with androgony and sexuality   they became less and less like themselves and more and more like everyone else  and thats why the movement seemed to end as soon as it began  its been said that todd haynes  velvet goldmine   the film that chronicles what it was like to be a part of the movement  not only from those who experienced it but by those who created it  steals a lot from  citizen kane   and thats true  in the film  a british journalist in the 80s  arthur stuart  christian bale   is asked to go back and find out what happened to 70s glam rock star brian slade  a fictitious rock star  who faked his own death on stage  bringing the end not only to his career but to the entire glam rock movement  structurewise  this totally steals from  kane   not only from the setup  he interviews three people  and the story is a result of their flashbacks   but in other things  like the beginning  death  then newsreel   and smaller details  like the bitter exfriend in a wheelchair and the bitter exwife as a washedup lounge singer  found in a bar after hours  this is no  kane   and it really doesnt aspire to be  it doesnt attempt to be the deep outlook of something gone like  kane  did  and it doesnt really uncover anything poignant about humanity  instead  it uses the flashbacks as a form of contrast between the magic that was the glam rock era and the boredom that was life after glam rock for those who were participants  the 80s scenes are dry and deliriously melancholy  equipped with a performance by bale that is perhaps appropriately dull and unengaging  but the 70s scenes are engaging  though  not to mention addictively campy  they radiate with gorgeous cinematography that nicely accentuates all the vibrant colors of the era  and a feel thats so eerily lighthearted that when combined with the thenfootage  they become not only a symbol of decadence  but of times when everything seemed so simple  instead of creating the world the way it was  haynes paints their own world as if it were a narcotic fairy tale  the glam rock movement was full of so much freedom and liberation that after youve experienced it  everything else seems so mundane  theres no outside world to speak of  secluding these people inside a protective globe that will eventually crack  haynes focuses his story on the tale of blade and the other fictitious rock hero  curt wild  and their relationship that created  molded  and then brought down the movement  reducing everyone else who contributed to it as merely that  contributors  blade  played with reserve by the pouty jonathan rhys meyers  and wild  played with anarchic wildness by ewan mcgregor  are little more than thinly disguised recreations of david bowie and iggy pop  respectively  complete with the creation of a ziggy stardust persona named maxwell demon and the confirmation that the two rock stars may have very well not only have been onetime partners in music  but also partners in bed  through discussions with slades exmanager cecil  michael feast   exwife mandy  toni collette  reinventing herself as an american blonde dish who fakes a british accent when with slade   and finally expartner wild  journalist stuart begins to remember his own experiences in the era  like his discovery of his rebelliousness cum conformity  including the moment when he began questioning his own sexuality  when he opens up his first slade record  he finds a naked and green slade lying on a crimson blanket   and finally running away from home to be part of the london scene  finally resulting in leading a boring job in america  haynes demonstrates that hes quite the visual auteur  molding scenes that are like long heald breaths  such as a seemingly long sequence juxtaposing a sladewild concert of them performing a brian eno cover   babys on fire   with scenes from a decadent drug party  and the films most wowinspiring sequence  the first concert scene of wild with his band  the ratttz  where mcgregor lets loose so much anarchic steam that his wild iggyesuqe movements  including stripping naked  and screams that the film captures that perfect moment when one discovers a major talent  and another  slade  discovers his idle  even the brief music videos  spoofs of bowies  have a rare visual flair thats pure camp  and which would cause ken russell to drool  the best sequence  though  may be the beginning  following the prelude  a sequence which acts as the middle ground for both the actual being of the movement and the postmovement era  in it  stuart and his mates are going to the infamous slade concert where he fakes his own death  where he kills off his alter ego maxwell demon in what appears to be a real assasination  which brought about the end of the era in one swift fake bullet  with brian enos famous  needle in the camels eye  playing in the background  the scene has a detached exhileration  the song doesnt seem to be played in quite the same way the other songs are  it has a distance thats hard to put a finger on  and it seems to represent that all this is coming to a quick and sad ending  and when one sees slade in the dressing room before the show  docked in a silver frock with wings and blue hair  depressingly staring into the mirror  it comes off as a nonetooobvious prophecy of the finale in the beginning of the film  this movies not so much about plot  but more about the way it is presented  making this one of those films which is classified as being  style over substance   a statement which prompts many critics to line up for attack  however  for the most part  the engaging part of this film is not the story but rather the way in which haynes creates this world  by using his sets  costumes  cinematography  and especially the music to play as characters in his film  the music is especially notable  the soundtrack  which is wall to wall  consists of old school glam rock tunes by the likes of brian eno  trex  and roxy music  as well as covers by slades band  with vocals by thom yorke  and occasionally rhys meyers himself   and even newer music by shudder to think that sounds uncannily bowielike  the cast is rather impressive  but no one really walks away with the film  and no performances are extremely good  although eddie izzard  as slades manager  who challenges slades first manager to an armwrestling match to see who gets control of his career  and michael feast as the first and tragic manager come off greatly  and collette and mcgregor have their moments  rhys meyers and bale are noticably subpar  neither putting a lot of effort into their respective roles  some of it is at fault with the actual construction of the film by haynes  rhys meyers brian slade remains merely a metaphor for the glam rock era  dying when he turned into a retrogarbo  resorting to a life of salingerism  and found in the mid70s to be lying around  sniffing coke off the ass of a party girl  in fact  no one in this film is really seen as a person  rather than just as a symbol or composite of a type who thrived during the era  bales character is an especially tough sell  bitter and depressed by flashbacks to his young adulthood  hes not an extremely personal character  and his cliched experiences  being hounded by the record store guys for buying a record put out by a  poof   never help us communicate with him  nevertheless  rhys meyers and mcgregor have the excuses that their characters are not really characters but rather the results of an era that has left them  and others  bitter  part of which helps the film work  since this is a major piece of eye candy  at the prime of the movie  they at least look the role of fashionable leaders  slade with his perpetuallychanging  androgonys persona  and wild with his topless and unpredictable image  which clash and fuse into an unstable union  their story  of how slade was so influenced by wild that he adapted it into a similar whocares attitude crossed with camp  is engaging  without the personal background  the story of stuart  though  is a tougher sell because hes the everyman  and when you cant totally identify with the everyman  your storys in slight trouble  as a cultural rock piece   velvet goldmine  is rather good  but it is merely good  it never totally takes off  although it has moments where it absolutely flies  but then comes back down  its really nothing more than a bunch of really great moments  surrounded by material that could really be much better  the beginning is captivating but slow  the middle is fantastic  and the ending is not only shallow but worse than that  it drags  the final half hour not only does it not bring the story to any real conclusion  it could probably stop at any point   and did anyone really figure out what the mystery is that arthur unearths  it almost seems like there was no point in the entire investigation other than to unearth the past  which is commendable but not totally so  still  it does what the oliver stone pic  the doors  didnt do right  becoming very insightful to what happened  using the visual style to hit most of the right notes of contrast between what made the era so great to those who lived during it and why after living through such an era that everything else seems halfassed  i suppose the message is   live life  but after youve lived it  what else is the point when youll be forced to live with regretful memories     the really superb achievement of this film is that during its flashbacks  it successfully creates for the audience what it must have felt like to be in that era  but with the added perk of knowing the result of all that goes down  
pos	when i first heard that romeo  juliet had been  updated  i shuddered  i thought that yet another of shakespeares classics had been destroyed  fortunately  i was wrong  baz luhrman has directed an  in your face   and visually stunning piece with this film  it revolves around the two rival families  who in this version each run multimillion dollar enterprises  these rival companiesfamilies are the capulets and the montagues  the younger generation of these two families have formed gangs  who despise one another  as the storylines goes  romeo montague  played by leonardo dicaprio  and juliet capulet  claire danes  meet at a fancy dress party  and it is love at first site  i never believed love at first site was possible until i saw this film  the scene in which romeos eyes meet juliets through the fish tank is one of the most memorable  of course  they cannot publicly reveal their love  for their families are arch enemies  so they marry in secret  this is where things begin to go wrong  the story  as with all good shakespeare  ends in tragedy  the cinematography is spectacular to say the least  and the soundtrack provides the perfect atmosphere in which to  lay our scene   as the film says  there is very little to criticise  the performances are convincing  and several of the films younger stars may find that it provides a launch for their careers  the modernisation of the script is ingenious and clever  despite the well known storyline  this latest version still manages to cause tears among many members of the audience  especially the younger generation   and this is certainly a great credit to the film  
pos	krippendorfs tribe is a formula comedy  done poorly  formulaic comedies might seem to signify the downfall of american cinema  however  every now and then  one emerges  like krippendorfs tribe  that actually works  professor james krippendorf  richard dreyfuss   the renowned anthropologist  is in trouble  his university gave him a hefty grant to discover a lost tribe in new guinea  however  he found    nothing  his wife has recently died  and he has spent the remainder of the grant money in raising his three kids  shelly  natasha lyonne   mickey  gregory smith  and edmund  carl michael lidner   tonight  he is expected to lecture on his newfound tribe  rather than break the news  and face the consequences of misusing his funds   he invents a tribe  the shelmikedmu  named after his kids   however  one lie begets another as he is not only required to deliver filmed proof of the shelmikedmu  but his research becomes a popular phenomenon  soon  professor krippendorf is caught up in an elaborate ruse in which he films mockumentary footage starring his children as the shelmikedmu tribal members  his efforts are hampered by the boasts of an overeager colleague  veronica micelli  jenna elfman   and the intense scrutiny of a rival anthropologist  ruth allen  lily tomlin   krippendorfs tribe does seem to require a little suspension of disbelief  no one seems to question the way his field documentaries seem to be shot with multiple cameras  or that his newly discovered tribesmen have startlingly blue eyes  luckily  as the film builds momentum  that suspension of disbelief is easy to come by  though theres some mild humor in the krippendorf family trying to pass themselves off as a lost tribe  the real humor of the film is in how james gets trapped in his ever increasing snowball of lies  the double meanings to many of the shelmikedmu appearances are enjoyable  and the comic timing required for some of the films latter scenes is superb  richard dreyfuss is terrific as the hapless professor who soon loses control of his own imaginary tribe  jenna elfmans position as a romantic lead seems a bit forced at times  but she plays the part with extreme affability  even the kids  who in films like this tend to be a bit on the precocious side  are endearing and humorous  yes  the film does veer occasionally into some rather lowbrow humor  but it has the best excuse of all  its funny  it may not go down as an alltime classic  but it certainly delivers what you expect from a comedy  plenty of laughs  
pos	not since 1996s shine  which starred geoffrey rush as pianist david helfgott  has a movie so defiantly laid bare the lives of worldclass musicians  in fact  if one were to watch these films together  it would almost certainly stand as a convincing argument that a life of music naturally leads to all varieties of social ills  yet hilary and jackie  the sophomore effort from director anand tucker  has something more to say  it softly but strongly explores the complex relationships of sibling rivalry and love in a very compelling tale  emily watson and rachel griffiths are the leads in this tale  playing the sisters du pr   both musicians from childhood  hilary  griffiths  is renowned flutist while jacqueline  watson  is easily as skilled on the cello  the two comepete for and win many honors as children and as young women  both together and seperate  their careers as musicians surpass and then bow to one anothers  and although their lives take very different paths  hilary settles down to marriage and a family while rachel skips across the globe on a world concert tour  they are bound together by their deep family love  the performances of watson and griffiths are excellent in style and substance  they contrast each other wonderfully  and while watsons portrayal of jackie du pr  is at times eccentric and perhaps unsympathetic  both characters are charged with emotion  the frank cottrell boyce script  which is based on the book by hilary and piers du pr   brings a great deal of depth to these characters as well  the script is also to be commended for its wellpolished dual nature  cottrell boyce adopts a style which one might expect to see in a mystery thriller  which was in fact the case with david koepp and robert townes script for mission  impossible  and skillfully molds it to the story of two rising musicians on different courses to fame  the latter parts of his script are controversial to say the least  and the rather depressing ending takes the wind out of an envigorating story  some will leave this movie feeling disenfranchised  nevertheless  hilary and jackie is a movie that reaches an upper echelon of contemporary cinema through solid fundamentals and is a decent watch all around  
pos	luckily  some people got starship troopers  some people knew it was supposed to be silly  for those of you who didnt  how could you miss it  from the very beginning  when we see an interactive internetlike promotional video for the armed forces of the future  it should be obvious this film is to be taken lightly  i guess without blatant oneliners and home alone style slapstick  some people just dont recognize such goofy humor  such a dry approach to such intentionally campy humor must have left some disillusioned  first thing to do before seeing this movie  lighten up  meet the equivalent of  beverly hills 90210  meets  mighty morphin power rangers   four close friends are now graduating high school and are ready to join the armed forces  which  in the future  means fighting for the whole galaxy and not just your country  johnny rico  casper van dien  is ready to join the infantry  mostly because his girlfriend carmen ibanez  denise richards  has enlisted to be a pilot  dizzy flores  dina meyer  has enlisted as a trooper  and its possible shes joining merely to follow rico  whom shes always had eyes for  if you saw these three on the street  youd automatically start searching for the fashion designers and photographers  for never has a movies cast looked so much like the cutout cover of  seventeen  magazine  the lone nonsupermodel  carl jenkins  played by doogie howser himself  neil patrick harris  is the brainiac who gets into the military intelligence division  the top secret department that pretty much leaves doogie  er  carl out of the picture   good call  now we can put all our drooling efforts into only the most deserving of characters   right off the bat  rico becomes the star of the show  far surpassing all the other soldiers and becoming squadron leader in a short period of time  but a horrific accident during a standard training exercise  which follows all to closely to his breakup with carmen  leaves rico ready to call it quits  with his bags packed and his civilian clothes back on  johnny is ready to walk off base and catch the next flight home  well sorry  rico suave  but theres no place like home  especially after gigantic alien insects have destroyed it  thats right  the planet is being attacked by a colony of arachnidlike alien beings that a can of raid just isnt going to destroy  with a sudden change of heart  and clothes   rico is back in the game  following his fellow starship troopers off to fight a mean group of daddy long legs  what starship troopers really is  is a spoof of all that it even remotely touches on  the soap opera like love affairs of high school  the love for scifi and thirst for gore shared by this same age group  etc  nothing is taken seriously  its almost as much a satire on young adults as clueless  but with its sly and futuristic approach  its not as recognizably so  its a spoof so subtle that many wont recognize the spoofery  if you deem this as scifiaction  youre wrong  its scifiactioncomedy  with the comedy being on the level of such cult favorites as evil dead 2  starship troopers just may be on the road to cult status as well  gore is a factor heavily brought up in reviews of this film  but the gore  too  is meant to be cheesy  yes  its graphic  but its also brutally phony  and thats what makes it such great fun to watch  not since the old  mr  bill  skits on  saturday night live  has torture and mutilation been such a joy to watch  people were laughing out loud every time a body was severed in half or a head was viciously decapitated  perhaps it brings back fond memories of the severities we inflicted upon our sisters barbie dolls as young children  with the actors resembling ken and barbie so closely  its a good chance this is the case  whether were fully aware of it or not  starship troopers has its slow parts  but its truly an alternative to your typical scifiaction flick or lame juvenile comedy  aside from the intentionally cheesy gore  the special effects are quite astounding  when the spaceship passes a meteor  its quite an awesome spectacle  visually crisp and captivating  if youre looking for brainless fun  this is the epitome of your search  a beautiful cast  awesome special effects  fastpaced action  campy acting  and a whole lot of gore  this is brainless heaven  just remember not to think  
pos	the happy bastards 30second review notting hill a cute romantic comedy from the writer of the hit comedy four weddings and a funeral  notting hill stars julia roberts as anna scott  a very popular actress with a 15 million asking price for movies  one day she wanders into a travel book store owned by a simple london resident  played by hugh grant   and sparks somehow begin to fly  sure  there are points of turmoil  such as putting up with grants slightly disgusting  but very hilarious  roommate spike  annas pesky exboyfriend  alec baldwin in a humorous cameo   and  on top of all that  those damn press  its a fresh sort of complexity to see in a romantic comedy  very different from  say  a stubborn father or  not the right time  like as seen in usual flicks  roberts is terrific as the astonishingly beautiful actress  and grant is surprisingly good as the straightforward guy still trying to get a hold of what has actually happened with this girl  in short  a sweet romantic comedy that has a lot of good laughs  particularly provided by spike  one teeshirt really says it all about him  in an attempt to turn on a woman  he shows the front of the shirt  which says   you are the most beautiful woman in the world   on the back   fancy a f   k   
pos	first  i am not a big fan of the xfiles tv series  i have nothing against it particularly  i just dont happen to watch it  having said that  i can now say that i liked the xfiles pretty well  for us nonfans  theres nothing big going for it  but there are a lot of little things  the movie opens on an ice cave in north texas in 35  000 b  c  two protohumans enter the cave and find a space alien cocooned inside  the alien breaks free and kills one man in a struggle while the other is seemingly captured by the bloody ooze from the alien  the movie jumps to the same cave today where a boy  lucas black  from sling blade  is captured by the same black ooze  we then cut to fbi agents scully and mulder  gillian anderson and david duchovny   who have been pulled off of their previous assignment  investigations into the paranormal  and put onto the bomb squad detail  a caller has threatened a federal building in dallas  texas  on a hunch  mulder checks out the building across the street  and  wouldnt you know it  he turns out to be right  the fbi finds the bomb in time to evacuate but not in time to defuse  five people die in the blast  and when mulder learns who the victims were  a light bulb goes on over his head  the two agents team up to investigate  against fbi orders  the links mulder has made  their search leads them back to the north texas cave  all across the country  and even to antarctica as they get closer and closer to  the truth   the plot  and  the truth   are uninspired  i got the feeling that what i learned was supposed to shock and amaze me  it didnt  the possible existence of aliens on earth has been explored so many times before in movies that one could hardly count them  but the point of the xfiles is not what the truth is  but the extent to which it has been hidden  its a slightly more interesting angle  but it still raises expectations about that  truth  too high  if this were the whole film  i would say the movie was mediocre  perhaps even boring  but there are other qualities that make me like this movie well enough to recommend it  the pacing of the film was brisk enough to hold my interest  before the audience can get tired of one location  the agents follow a hot tip to another location  and so on and so forth  the locations are not all computergenerated sets  either  there are some artificial settings  but the desert night of nevada  the edge of suburbia in texas  and the endless fields of snow in antarctica  actually somewhere in north america   make this fantastic film feel more real  ward russells cinematography is very good  the overall look is dark and ominous  appropriate to the intended tone of the films plot  russell is able to make something as innocuous as a cornfield look foreboding  when the movie is set in darkness  the picture quality is still rich and detailed  finally  and specifically  there is an incredible shot at night in which the camera crosses the tracks in front of a fast oncoming train  i dont know if the shot is faked in any way  but it looks dangerous  and it looks great  the movies soundtrack is also used to convey the dark tone of the film   skip to the next paragraph if you have yet to see the movie  there is a spoiler in the following sentences   during the opening prehistoric sequence  a howling wind dogs the soundtrack  never giving the characters or the audience an escape from the lonely terrible sound  in one of the movies most effective sequences  metallic doors suddenly slam open to release a cloud of buzzing bees  the visuals of the scene are good  but what makes it so surprising and frightening is the sound  there was no question as to who the movies stars would be  even so  duchovny and anderson are an interesting pair of actors and a good combination  both are easy on the eyes and together  they have some good timing  banter  and energy  there is a hint of chemistry between them  but it never gets in the way of their professional relationship  they are like a couple of kids out exploring the empty lot at the end of the street  there might be some romantic interest  but for now theyre more interested in their environs than they are in each other  no single element really makes this movie outstanding  not even the sense of paranoia that makes the tv show so popular  but enough things were done right that the xfiles is one of the more interesting summer adventures to come along  
pos	many people will not find much to like in what dreams may come  the new film by visionary director vincent ward  most will come to see the computer animated landscapes and vibrant colors  but little do they know  as i so plainly found out  that this has quite a complex story to tell  walking out of the theater  i could see the audiences disgust    one member even had to be awakened after the film ended  dont believe the previews that you see    this is definitely not a film for everyone  this is quite possibly one of the most adultoriented films to come out in recent years  kids will get bored with the slow plotting and the complex storyline  the plot is just as fluid as the heaven that ward presents to us  it goes back and forth in time  as if it has no boundaries  think of the film city of angels  now add a more complex screenplay and a more unique vision  both films deal with the afterlife  but i doubt what dreams may come will do well at the box office  costing around 85 million to make  the film would have to do extremely well in order to make its money back  but due to its story  i doubt it will  for everyone who thought titanics story was too simple and cliche  here is proof that if james cameron had written a more complex screenplay  it may not have done nearly as well  but dont get me wrong    i hope the film does do well  its a vision of pure visceral enjoyment that hardly ever gets put to the screen  i doubt most of us could have thought of this place  even in our own mind  what dreams may come is the second best film of the year when it comes to visuals  the only film that surpasses it is dark city  full of rich  shocking colors  we get to see a heaven that most of us would probably die to get to  but dont do that  because youll end up going to hell  what dreams may come begins with two boats colliding on a lake  chris  christy  nielsen  robin williams  is startled by the sudden jolt  but is even more startled by the beauty of the woman in the other boat  annie  annabella sciorra  spies chris  as well  and both eventually bond and get married  annie is an artist  whose paintings are colorful  lush  and surrealistic  chris is a doctor and loves annie more than life itself  they also have two children  marie  jessica brooks  and ian  josh paddock   but one day  the two children are killed in a car crash  and it almost destroys annie  she tries to commit suicide  but fails  and is then put in an institution  chris copes with the problem by realizing they arent around anymore  and nothing will change that  just as annie gets her life back in order  chris is killed while trying to save the life of a car crash victim  chris goes to heaven  or his version of heaven  rather  guided by albert  cuba gooding  jr    chris explores his new surroundings with pure delight and joy  that is  until he realizes how miserable he is without annie  prior to heaven  he would try to comfort annie  but the more he was around  the more pain she felt  chris decides to leave her alone  little does he realize what will happen next  im not about to say  because the plot point is crucial to the rest of the story  many critics  however  give it away   certainly  chris dying is crucial to the plot  but they tell you that he dies in the previews  story is not necessarily important for this movie to work  because it deals with the afterlife  however  strangely  virtually nothing is heard of god or the devil  a couple of comments here and there  but the story maintains its focus on chris and his search for the love of his life   were soul mates   chris exclaims  heaven  in movies  is almost always depicted as a glowing city of white  purity  and love  usually  it also looks like it rests among the clouds  but what dreams may come goes a different route  it shows us a heaven that most of us have never seen before  chris heaven is his memories brought to life  his thoughts can make anything real  and he makes the paintings annie drew become his heaven   ive never seen anyone use real paint before   albert says  equally good as the depictions of hell which cast away the normal stereotypes of fire and brimstone  instead  its a state of being  in one gloriously horrific scene  chris and his  tracker   max von sydow  arrive at a sea of faces  thousands of heads are stuck above ground  their bodies somewhere else  mostly dead silent  some quips are made  almost as if to lighten the mood  its truly a frightening sequence  production designer eugenio zanetti is definitely going to be up for an oscar nomination  using state of the art computer technology  worlds are created for exploration  sometimes  some scenes play out as if they are only there for the visual impact  its not necessary to be there  but we appreciate seeing it  costume designer yvonne blake  who also appears in the film  has done an incredible job providing some interesting and colorful costumes  cinematographer eduardo serra  whose work was last seen in the luscious wings of the dove  has a difficult job  as most cinematographers do working with special effects  but serras entire universe is a computer generated image  and he does a masterful job  writer ron bass  adapting from the novel by richard matheson  provides a very fluid screenplay with no real set plot  the story is extremely vague in its details  allowing viewers to think for themselves about the meaning  and director vincent ward puts it all together into his final vision  what dreams may come is a good example of german expressionism which may just turn off a good portion of the audience  your average movie goer more than likely isnt used to expressionistic techniques  the film will also definitely draw attention from religious people  but they shouldnt take it too far  it is  after all  just a movie  robin williams has continuously impressed with his dramatic performances  while his comedic roles have been suffering  his comedy is perfection when he makes up his own stuff  but when is confined by a screenplay  he isnt quite as effective  but drama is really his strong point  and you can see that here  its doubtful hell get another oscar nomination  but i wouldnt really mind if he did  the real surprise here is annabella sciorra who impressed last year with cop land  this may be her breakout role and may garner her some much needed attention  its also quite possible that she could get an oscar nomination  however  the academy doesnt like to award performances for these types of films  cuba gooding  jr  has been better  but hes certainly not distracting  max von sydow is underused  as are jessica brooks and josh paddock  a treat for some movie goers is to see werner herzog appear  if they even recognize him  as chris father lost in the sea of faces  its not hard to see why herzog would be attracted to this film  considering he thinks that audiences are starving for great images  overall  its williams and sciorras film  what dreams may come is rated pg13 for thematic elements involving death  some disturbing images  language  and some partial nudity  the film is definitely aimed at a more adult audience  some will find the plot distracting  some will find the visuals absolutely glorious  and some will find both  the only real problem with the film  that i could see  was that it slows down considerably during the midsection  just after we have been immersed in the visuals and before the search for annie begins  by the way  some controversy even surrounded the title  which was mistaken for a sexual term   what  becomes  wet  and you should understand   in actuality  the title is from a soliloquy in hamlet  just thought i should let you know  
pos	when i was growing up in 1970s  boys in my school used to divide into two groups  based on their action movies preferences  the first one  myself included  liked movies that featured spectacular car chases  lots of machinegun fire and huge explosions  the latter one preferred hong kong martial arts flicks  probably because they could  or  to be more precise  thought they could  imitate its stunts in the real life  decades later  while refining my own cinematic taste  i began to appreciate and actually like those movies  probably because of overexposure to shootemup idiocy of 1980s ramboids  yes  most of the kung fu and other  martial arts  flicks were cheap  they had predictable and formulaic plot  and asked very little of production values aside from martial arts skills  but  in the same time  those movies had their own rules and in the hands of capable director could become a terrific guilty pleasure and source of relaxation  the best of those movies  one that passed the test of time and managed to keep its own cult status after quarter of century was enter the dragon  made in 1973 in a joint hong kong  hollywood venture  it was intended to bring bruce lees skills and kung fu philosophy to the western audience  it succeeded  but it is still debatable whether by its own merit or by the unfortunate and mysterious death of bruce lee that immortalised the myth about that actor  lee plays a quiet shaolin monk who is a martial arts expert  he is approached by interpol official who asks him to join triannual martial arts tournament that is held on a remote island  owned and controlled by han  renegade shaolin monk  interpol suspects that the martial arts business is just cover for narcotics  gunrunning and prostitution operations and lee must find the evidence necessary for authorities to intervene  lee accepts the mission because of personal reasons  oharra  hans brutal bodyguard was responsible for the tragic death of lees sister years ago  the island is also destination of two colourful martial arts experts from us  williams  played by jim kelly  is black activist running from the racist police  and his friend roper wants to make money in order to pay gambling debts  the plot of enter the dragon was in many ways influenced by james bond  the 007 franchise itself would return favour by using kung fu elements in the man with the golden gun two years later   the main hero was faced against a powerhungry megalomaniac on a remote island  alone against whole army of bad guys  on the other hand  lee was more believable hero than bond  deprived of guns and supertech gadgets  he had to rely only on his personal skills in order to survive  in the same time  the plot  although extremely thin  allowed him even some internal battles  between the natural instinct to avenge his sister and his own antiviolent philosophy  the latter provided some opportunities to evaluate lees acting skills and some new elements to his impressive screen presence  although two other main actors  john saxon being the obligatory good white guy and jim kelly being the obligatory black good guy  were intended to share top spot with lee  they served as nothing more than a comic relief  it is a real shame to see kelly  definitely the worse actor than saxon  to steal the scenes from him only because his lines  being the worst possible blaxploitation cliches  sound so damn over the top  other actors  not including shih kien who turns han into typical  although not very convincing bondian villain  are nothing more than fist fodder for bruce lee  among them is young jackie chan   fighting scenes are still impressive today as they were 25 years ago  although they mostly lack gore associated with that genre  in many way they are also more realistic  they were personally staged by lee himself   demanding only a blow or two to incapacitate or kill the opponent  im not a martial arts expert nor the martial arts fan  but comparing those scenes with typical scenes today i simply cant avoid to appreciate the difference from todays movie fights when masses of bloody pulp manage to get up from the floor and win in the end  so  despite all the obvious flaws that preclude this movie of being top 100 of all times  enter the dragon is a incredibly entertaining piece of cinema and the martial arts flick that can be enjoyed even by those who dont like that particular genre  
pos	one of the sweetest tales to ever be made  its a wonderful life isnt perfect  but its good natured charm and beautiful performances light up the screen with glorious results  probably the greatest  feelgood  film of all time  its a wonderful life aims for the heart  and strikes with a golden arrow  on christmas eve  george bailey  stewart  is being prayed for by many in the small town of bedford falls  you see  george is in trouble  and he has always helped others who needed it  this one time  however  god answers his prayers  and sends down the lovable guardian angel clarence  travers  to try and save george  clarence has got his own problems  however  clarence is an angel without his wings  and each time the bell rings  the wings pass him by  the bailey case is a way for him to earn those magical wings and become a true angel  but before clarence can save george  he first has to go through a cliffs notes version of george baileys life  we see george sacrificing his hearing to save his brothers life  sacrificing his college education to save the family business  sacrificing his dream of living far away to support his brother  and even sacrificing his life to make sure his brother is happy working somewhere else  when the bank his family owns is in trouble  george gives away his honeymoon money to make sure the bank isnt sold to the evil mr  potter  barrymore   who wants nothing less than to get the baileys out of bedford falls  one christmas  potter gets his chance  uncle billy bailey  mitchell  loses 8  000 of the banks money  without the money  the bank must close down  george is stuck in a tremendous bind  and contemplates suicide  clarence  the faithful servant  is there just to pick him up  and to show him what bedford would be like without george  this is all a leadin to the very famous last scene  where george finally sees what true happiness is about  its a wonderful life does have its faults  the movie is beginning to feel dated in the details  especially in the treatment of women and men  the sex roles in the film are weirdly out of place in the 90s  like something out of a revisionist look  all the men drink too much and slap their wives too much during some portions of the film  there are  however  endearing moments in all of this  capra puts in just enough humor mocking the sex roles of the 50s to make the movie remarkably enjoyable  the story is hackneyed  and the ending feels  well  a little too sugarish  theres this uneasy feeling of sugar over everything  especially the sequences where george is either in trouble  or helping somebody  its a little too nice for my liking  at times  there is  however  enough humor  enough wit  and enough of jimmy stewart to get the movie through the middle part  which would be the most difficult  but watching its a wonderful life is never boring or difficult  its always interesting  right until the finale  which  for all its sugar  makes delightful sense and is beautifully done  capra does have his monumental cliches  but the actors relish them and overplay everything to perfection  donna reed is perfect as the loving  obeidient wife  and lionel barrymore is gloriously grump as mr  potter  everyone else is magnificent  including bert and ernie  ward bond and frank faylen   there is a general sense of goodness  as if everyone in the film knows that they are making a great film  and they relish that  stewart  however  is the king of all of this  he is sometimes awkward  especially when saying  merry christmas  to all objects  animate or inanimate  but he is james stewart  and hes lovably delightful throughout the film  have i complained  i shouldnt have  this is a really good movie  no  this is a great movie  better yet  this is a phenomenal movie  there is a reason classics are invented  to make sure that people will always have great movies to aid them in their quest for living life  this is one of those films  it is a  feelgood  movie  something people complain a little too much about  but capras reworking of  a christmas carol  is the greatest christmas movie of all time  there  ive said it  i have to admit  the first time i saw this  i saw it with my family  including my 11 year old kid sister  they all loved it  they loved george  his wife  his troubles  and the beautiful ending  is it a little too sugarcoated  maybe  no matter  this is a film that should be watched time and time again  with families around a coffee table  and eggnog on the plate  it is a film that just makes you feel good about life  family  and hope  it is the perfect christmas film  flaws and all  it is frank capras greatest acheivement  and that really does say a lot  for about 121 out of 129 minutes  this movie is flawless  the rest can be excused  no film is perfectly flawless  i cant get over how much i love this movie  and how much you will  after watching it  digesting it  and sitting with your family  appreciating how special life really is  
pos	of circumcision  psychic wounds and the family sitcom the opening segment is something of a foretaste of this film  theres a guys voice telling us how he tries to imagine what his biological parents look like  and on the screen we see images of a variety of oldish men and women  as his imagination plays o n  he  and we  picture these motley characters in a mixandmatch shuffle of unlikely marriages  businesswomen with bums  matrons with paint salesmen  the images coming on in a faster and faster frenzy  its not just a witty  funny summing up of the film s themes  you might not guess it yet  but it sets the pattern for the way the story goes on  what starts out as a step in a fairly sensible direction  gets taken on a road trip  put through a detour or two and finds itself freewheeling towards an immin ent crash  that may not sound so different from the average family sitcom  and the general idea of the film doesnt  at first  seem so wildly distant from standardissue hollywood comedy  man who was adopted as a child  ben still er  sets out on a journey to meet his real parents  along with his wife  patricia arquette   his baby  and a pretty psychologyresearcher  tea leoni  in tow  various mixups  shenanigans  oddball characters and  yup  disasters follow  but if you think youve been here before  the dialogue and the direction  by david o  russell  who made spanking the monkey  take it into another dimension  the dreaded tname seems an inevitable reference point  what with a drug overdose scene and the casting of arquette from true romance  but really the point is that the footmassage master hasnt got a monopoly on plot twists and fast  funny  irreverent lines  or on the absurdities of ordinary speech  whether its about circumcision  psychic wounds  oral sex  carjacking  the beauties of the armpit area  or ronald reagan  the script never seems to run out of hilarious invention  the best thing is how these words arent just there for the punchlines  but are great precisely because theyre said in character  like tea leonis neuroticallycharged psychobabbler whos able to say under assault   its understandable if you find this threatening   the cast is excellent throughout  and  rather than singling out anybody  kudos are due to the fine ensemble acting  with the sometimes frenetically overlapping dialogue and the sense of a dozen different reagents colliding to the point of fission  there are some elements of a woody allen film in this  not to mention the handheld camera and loose  improvisational feel of some scenes   like allen  russells interests are in the volatile sexual politics of couples and the neurotic obsessions in both pare nts and children  and everybody  really   still  if youre expecting a privileged moment of revelation and emotional outpouring a la  murphy brown    frasier   fillintheblankamericancomedy  well  it wont happen  the film sets up expectations like these  with the lead characters search f or his origins and his hopes of selfhealing  only to knock them down  if the conventional sitcom structure is to put a slightly loopy family in catastrophic conditions only to rediscover their essential lovey oneness  flirting with disasters charact ers embark on a journey to seek that essential state but find themselves only plunging into more weirdness and dysfunctional chaos the further they go  and that  the film suggests  is the essential family state  and you better learn to love it  somehow  this is perversely feelgood cinema  right up to its manic end  
pos	nosferatu the vampyre  germany 1979  a film review by mike watson copyright 1999 mike watson this extraordinary retelling of bram stokers  dracula  by german filmmaker werner herzog deserves the most prominent of places in cinematic vampire lore  inspired by f  w  murnaus 1922 silent film of the same name  herzogs film is a work of exquisite bleakness  an oddly touching tragedy with a beautiful and uniquely haunting quality that lingers long afterwards  the original fulllength english and german language versions of nosferatu have at last received a video release by u  s  distributor anchor bay entertainment  and in gorgeous widescreen prints  until now only a shortened english language version of the film was available on video  and only in europe  both of these rereleases restore the film to its full length  but viewers should still be wary of the english version due to its often stilted dialogue  apparently the english dialogue coach herzog had on the set during filming was incompetent  and some of the voices also seem to be dubbed  the german version with english subtitles remains the definitive one  everyone knows the story of dracula  or do they  his story has been so bastardised on film over the years that a brief reminder of the basic plot certainly wont hurt  jonathan harker is a young lawyer sent to the gloomy castle dracula in transylvania to do business with a creepy count  played by klaus kinski  who wants to buy a house in harkers hometown  upon seeing a photo of harkers wife  the radiant isabelle adjani  he instantly falls in love with her  locking harker up in his castle  he sets off on a long journey to meet this woman whose beauty so bewitches him  upon divining his identity as a vampire  adjani seduces the count and lures him to his death one morning as the sun rises  that is a story familiar to millions  but herzog has elevated stokers tale into the realm of  and i use this term a tad reluctantly  cinematic art  nosferatu is as much a meditation as it is a film  shot through blueish and white filters and peopled with characters who perform as if they were half hypnotised  the films surreal  dreamlike quality is utterly mesmerising  there is much to enjoy  but ill limit my praise to a few key points  holding the film together is kinskis remarkable performance as count dracula  past screen portrayals  including bela lugosis famous turn  have largely been one dimensional and tended towards camp  but kinski    oh boy  this is something far more compelling  aided by a startling makeup job  he portrays draculas vampirism not simply as pure evil but as some sort of loathsome disease  this man is dreadfully lonely  he lives in utter solitude  shunned by the locals for his hideous appearance and reputation for bloodlust  kinskis portrayal of the count is both creepy and deeply affecting  when he dies  you almost feel as if this mans tortured soul has been freed at last  then theres the unforgettable soundtrack  largely composed by german group popul vuh  it is so eerily beautiful and evocative that its quite impossible to imagine the film without it  popul vuh are longtime herzog collaborators and play an ancientsounding kind of spacemusic using piano  chants  and exotic instruments  when i first saw this film some years ago i was so impressed i tracked down and bought a number of their albums  the one i still listen to the most is  tantric songs   from which most of the music in nosferatu is taken  its a testament to the musics depth that it is as powerful without the pictures as it is with them  the album is still available on the highly respected ambient and world music label celestial harmonies  this is a timely rerelease by anchor bay  after francis ford coppolas unscary and woefully overblown version of bram stokers tale in 1992  it is a joy to go back to herzogs film and see the amazing things he has done with what is now a centuryold story  to some aficionados  nosferatu is quite simply the greatest vampire film ever made  without a doubt  it is an unmistakable classic of the genre  dont miss it  
pos	even if i did not know that director and cowriters james wong and jeffrey reddick of the creepy final destination helped create the hit television show the xfiles  i would have inevitably made a connection  the similarities are very apparent from the inexplicable phenomenon like plot  to the mysterious characters  to the overall dark  ominous settings  it would have been perfectly fitting to see fbi agents mulder and scully investigate this case  they witness stuff like this on a weekly basis  in fact mulder and scully would have been a much more welcome change to the bland one dimensional fbi agents seen in this movie   another more important similarity  is that both succeed in entertaining and thrilling at the same time  this is a great accomplishment for a teen horror movie  especially when compared to some of the trash  of the same genre  released in the last couple of years  urban legend and i still know what you did last summer are classic examples from the bunch   what helps final destination is its unique premise  unlike your average horror flick in which some invincible psycho with a knife chases blonde cheerleaders  the villain presented is unusual  its the grim reaper  this being already has predestined when and how you will die  according to the brief history lesson given in this film  everyone was meant to die at a certain time  some people at 100  others at 17  whatever death chooses  what is unique about death is that its already dead  so you cant really kill it  the only way to defeat death is to cheat it  the question is how do you do that  this dilemma is what faces alex and a group of teenagers  alex has been having some dreams that the airplane which will take his class on a trip to paris will crash  leaving no survivors  alex begins to realize that his dreams are a little too real and eventually gets himself and six others kicked off the plane right before it takes off  shortly after  the plane does indeed crash leaving some of the seven survivors confused and others feeling immortal  however  death isnt through with them yet  it gradually kills off the seven one by one  leaving those currently still alive frantically trying to trick death again  the plot allows for some of the most creative  original death scenes i have seen in a while  some scenes build up the perfect amount of tension until an elaborate climax  others are so unexpected they will leave your jaw wide open in shock  creativity and originality are two adjectives lacking in most horror films nowadays but final destination is not like most horror films  sure  it has your traditional share of jerks and outsiders  ali larters character is particularly annoying   but the shocks  from the beginning to the end  are extremely entertaining  also director wong has the sense not to take the movie too seriously  he knows its just another entertaining guilty pleasure that wont win any academy awards  not even a golden globe   the myriad of inside jokes and gags  the characters are named after famous horror directors  one character who plays a jerk is named carter  like xfiles creator chris carter  and a song by john denver  who died in a plane crash  plays whenever death is near  show this movie is a bunch of guys having a good time making a movie  and from this  i had a great time watching the movie  
pos	 take a number  fill out a form  and wait your turn   starring kati outinen  kari v   n  nen  sakari kuosmanen  elina salo  written  directed by aki kaurism  ki  cinematography by timo salminen it might be possible to call drifting clouds a satire or a black comedy  but that would imply a sense of anger  of vitriol  of energy  drifting clouds is what you get when the rage and vitality are gone  it is the sad  slow story of lauri and ilona  a married couple caught between the wheels of capitalism as it grinds inexorably onward  he loses his job as a tram driver  because everyone drives cars nowadays  within a couple of months  she loses her position as a head waiter  when her restaurant is bought out by a chain and the entire staff replaced  a conversation early in the film reveals a lot about their situation  lauri has surprised ilona by buying her a tv  which she greets with little enthusiasm  she notes that they havent finished paying for the bookshelves or the couch yet  he says that in four years the payments will be done and then they can buy some books for the shelves  it would pass as deadpan humour if it wasnt spoken with such resigned weariness  this sets the tone for the rest of the movie  there is humour and idiosyncracy at the periphery  but at the centre there is frustration and futility  and sorrow for the ways in which the logic of profit reduces people  until their worth is equated solely with their earning capacity  there is an element of political commentary in this critique of the mechanisms of capitalism and the stultifying social environment it creates  but in drifting clouds the political is subsumed by the personal  the movie is about two people and what happens to them  and nothing else matters  lauri and ilona live lives starved for friendship  respect  culture  passion  they go to the movies  and walk out past old posters for latalante and largent  but the movie they have just seen is a pointless  violent  unfunny comedy  their house and workplaces are uniformly unpleasant  painted and upholstered in lifeless colours  ugly greens  dull reds  insipid blues   full of inelegantly functional objects and appliances  the art design is impeccable in its tawdriness  and director aki kaurism  ki often matches the colour of characters clothes with the background colour andor lighting  so that it seems as if they are almost physically fading into the environment  there is no suggestion of sexuality in the relationship  ilona and lauri sleep in separate beds and their gestures of affection lack the heat of desire  their lives are now bound by something more complex and desperate than love  their downward  downsized  downtrodden lives have a momentum that is almost comic  as one setback succeeds another  bottoming out when lauri stakes all their remaining money on the spin of a roulette wheel  it must have been tempting to play the story for more laughs  more farce  more deadpan wit  but the films great strength is the sober  empathic manner in which it observes lauri and ilonas misfortunes  irony would be an injustice  situations and settings are broad and exaggeratedthis is not realismbut they are not distorted  the emotions are authentic  if it is difficult to laugh at anything that happens  despite the droll performances  the laconic humour  thats because kaurism  ki brings such compassion and understanding to the manifold indignities that are suffered  he shows us how humiliating it must be for a woman of thirtyeight  who has worked long and hard to win a respectable position  to be forced to accept a job as a dishwasher in a twobit restaurant  how humiliating it must be for a man nearing 50 to confront his wifes former employer  demanding the rest of her wages  only to have the crap beaten out of him  unable to land a single punch  when the employer and his cronies refuse to give him the money  all this is observed keenly  with great economy  every cut  every line of dialogue  is judicious  if most films are novelistic in their telling  this one brings the focus and concentration of a short story to bear  but what is gained in nuance and acumen is rather undermined by the sense that the material barely accommodates the 96minute running length  i have seen many movies far less profound  less humane  less necessary than drifting clouds  but they filled me with an urge to watch them again  and this one did not  it does not need to be seen twice  its every detail and implication can be absorbed in one viewing  it is not a movie that will be seen by a large audience  because it cannot be pitched to one  there is no selling point  it is all understatement  restraint  melancholy  the characters are unremarkable  their best years behind them  their dreams dissipated  it takes all the effort they can muster just to pay the bills  this does not make them less fascinating  merely less marketable  which is a shame  because this is a movie which should be seen  precisely because it pays attention to people and emotions that most movies prefer to ignore  it engages us and touches us and resolvessurprisingly  and movinglyinto something resembling a happy ending  the only thing greater than the illluck that governs the characters lives is their refusal to give in to despair  their persistence is rewarded with what might be called a  feelgood  ending elsewhere  but not here  because this ending differs in kind from most such endings  this one has truly been earned  
pos	ingredients  london gal  fate  true love  running joke about monty pythons spanish inquisition synopsis  american actress gwyneth paltrow with dark hair  playing a londoner  believe it  sliding doors is a love what if story  the gimmick is that its really two stories  the film follows the life of helen  gwyneth paltrow  down two directions  in the beginning  likeable gal helen  gwyneth paltrow  gets unexpectedly fired from her advertising job  so she goes into the subway train station meaning to return home early to her apartment and her sleeping livein lover gerry  john lynch   helen doesnt know it  but she is at a fateful junction in life  1  if she enters through the sliding door of a london subway train her life takes one path with one future 2  if she stays on the platform her life takes another path with a different future  the film shows what happens in both paths  switching back and forth between intertwined  parallel stories  in story one  helen meets a charming and talkative monty python fan named james  john hannah  on the train  arriving home early  she discovers that her livein  gerry  john lynch   is having sex with his former lover lydia  jeanne tripplehorn   this leads to a life where helen moves out  helens winsome new friend james helps her recover from a broken heart  and encourages her to start her own business  in story two  helen experiences a different fate  she misses the train  never meets james  and doesnt get home early enough to discover gerrys infidelity  in this new life  helen takes up odd menial jobs  and faces the constant sneaking suspicion that all is not right with her relationship with gerry  will the truth of the heart finally work its way through a number of problems and setbacks in both scenarios  opinion  rejoice all ye monty python fans  gwyneth paltrow fans  and watchers of quirky romance flicks  at last heres proof that theres still creativity in 1990s filmmaking  sliding doors is refreshingly different from anything this year  not only is it a wellacted  heartwarming film  but its also easily gwyneth paltrows best recent performance  when helen  paltrow  screams that her unfaithful boyfriend is a shagging wanker    a british phrase better left untranslated  she sounds like she knows what shes talking about  nor does sliding doors go overboard with formulaic true love or other stereotypes  nobody scrambles around in danger  screaming   i will find you no matter what  my darling   when helen finds herself on a boat in the starlight with james  she doesnt take the easy way out and leap into his arms  since shes supposed to be recovering from heartache  and handsome livein boyfriend gerry isnt the stereotypical screen hunk  either a stud or a snob   instead hes a nervous and indecisive  almost helpless hunk  another example  when one of the protagonists lies wounded in a hospital  sliding doors gives us neither the hospital miracle nor a maudlin tragedy but surprises us with a third variation  in other words  all of the characters seem nonstereotyped  human  and local  there are minor inconveniences  since sliding doors switches back and forth between two possible fates  its occasionally difficult to distinguish between the two  distinguishing between the two stories isnt a problem in the scenes containing paltrow  who sports two different hairstyles  but in scenes containing only lydia and gerry  who look the same in both stories  its slightly confusing  also  quite a few snappy comebacks referring to american pop culture  seinfeld  woody allen  etc   are spoken by the british characters  but these seem slightly forced  given that the remaining dialogue is predominantly british slang  possibly an attempt by the screenwriter to balance the british so that american audiences can feel more comfortable  sliding doors is a charming  quirky  original  happy romance with a little philosophy of fate thrown in  monty python and the meaning of fate  anybody  
pos	sick  the life and death of bob flanagan  supermasochist by fernando vallejo starring bob flanagan and sheree rose  interviews by kathe burkhart  kirby dick and rita valencia  produced and directed by kirby dick  running time  90 mins  this film is not rated  the central themes of  sick  the life and death of bob flanagan  supermasochist  are pain and love  and its subsequent effect on a persons life  its protagonist  bob flanagan  who died at the age of 52  suffered from cystic fibrosis  a mortal disease which debilitates the lungs by saturating them with thick coats of mucus  preventing him from normal breathing  the movie is about much more than recouperating  or attempting to  from this disease  an audacious  fabulously triumphant docudrama   sick  chronicles the life of flanagan and his vicious  unthinkable acts of sadomasochism conducted with his mistress of 15 years  sheree rose  who amazingly provided much of the footage for the film  flanagans idelogy crosses the realms of rebelliousness and becomes transcendental  similar to terry zwigoffs brilliant 1994  crumb   which also explored the dysfunction of an artist by painting not a sympathetic portrait  but a realistic one  both crumb and flanagan revelled in their defects  but flanagan was not only a man content on enduring the pain via lungs  he inflicted acts of pain on himself at a very young age  courageously defying god  he was an irish catholic  and turning his body into a work of art  which he unraveled in museums and lectures  behold these works of physical art  among them is a metal ball inserted inside his anus  and  the most disturbing scene of the decade  nailing his penis to a board  flanagan was a man of great intelligence  wit and humor  as well as adopting a sense of candidness scarcely seen in modern filmmaking  not only did he approach his disease with humor  peforming burlesque acts in front of an audience  he was also revitalized by his approachment  most with cystic fibrosis do not make it past their earlier twenties  theres also a subplot involving a female devotee who knew death was awaiting her   but the most outstanding thing about  sick  is flanagans relationship with sheree  brimming with honesty  sensual stimulation and unapologetically sad moments of pain  their powerful bond lifts  sick  into a rare cinematic high  where we forget we are in an auditorium and become a part of these people  the last scene  where we see the hero murmuring the last words to his wife in a hospital bed  as he struggles for his last moments of life  is raw  tender  hideous  it goes a step beyond cinematic intimacy  
pos	studio expectations must not have been high for  great expectations   the films release date was pushed from late december to late january at what appeared to be the last minute  therefore putting any academy awards chances it has off until this time in 1999  its actually a smart move  because while this updated take on the charles dickens tale isnt quite oscar fodder  it  is  strong enough to be distinguished from the cinematic dumping ground that usually makes up the first five or six weeks of any given year   great expectations  also demonstrates how to modernize a classic story right  especially after the excruciatingly wretched excesses of baz luhrmanns  william shakespeares romeo  juliet    great expectations  opens somewhere in 1970s florida  the original story is set in 19thcentury england   as eightyearold finn  jeremy james kissner  meets a trio of people who will have a profound effect on his life in the future  theres icy  11yearold estella  raquel beaudene   a pseudoplaymate of finns  ms  dinsmoor  anne bancroft   estellas auntie whos quite offkilter over a past romance that never took off  and a mysterious prisoner  robert de niro  whom finn saves the life of  finn  who lives with his sisters affable boyfriend  lone stars chris cooper   fancies himself an aspiring artist  and proves his prowess by whipping up an unusual portrait of estella using only ms  dinsmoors lipstick  eyebrow pencil and the wallpaper from her dilapidating mansion  flash forward into the 90s  after a brief stop in the 80s   and finn  now played by ethan hawke   despondent over a strange hotandcold relationship with the elusive estella  gwyneth paltrow   receives quite a bit of money from an unknown benefactor  its enough cash to send him to new york to focus on a career in art  there  finn seems to gain everything he could ever want  wealth  prestige and a high place in the glamorous art world  when estella resurfaces  albeit with an aloof fianc   hank azaria   finn also sees the chance to renew their mutual attraction  but shes not the only ghost from finns past thats going to be paying him a visit  comparisons with the aforementioned  romeo  juliet  seem inevitable since these films are the only ones in recent memory to plop classic drama into a current setting   great expectations  is a much better venture  though  because it treats its source with evenhanded respect  where  romeo  was never quite sure whether to be a spoof  a homage or both  the movie is a visual banquet thanks to emmanuel lubezkis sexy cinematography  notably  he captures a revisited fountain kiss between the two leads with a luscious  erotic charge thats steamier than the films  surprisingly muted  love scenes  the eclectic rock soundtrack compliments the onscreen action beautifully  especially new songs by tori amos  mono and duncan sheik  acting credits are firstrate  often hiding the screenplays occasional slipups  hawke is sincere and solid as a leading man  something we also learned from  gattaca    and his finn is quite a likeable guy  paltrows estella  on the other hand  is rather underdeveloped  while the actress is at her icily seductive best  were not told very much about her character  and as a result  its often hard to understand why finn would appreciate her beyond a physical level  but  oh   what  a physical level   sometimes  we root for finn although we dont quite understand why shes fueling his fire  robert de niro is nice and sophisticated in the benevolent kind of role he rarely gets to play  on the other end of the acting spectrum is bancroft  a macabre  throaty delight who mambos and sucks down cigarettes with an eerie enthusiasm that would make norma desmond jealous  alfonso cuarons visually elegant direction helps to distract from the dry moments that pop up more frequently around the movies climax  another problem is predictability  you can guess your way through the plot even if you arent familiar with the story  despite its script flaws  though   great expectations  is undeniably romantic without being corny or gloppy  and frankly  its nice to see a film that embraces softened sensuality other than explicit sexuality  perhaps that renovated release date  awfully close to valentines day  will end up helping  great expectations   seemingly average box office chances after all  
pos	seen december 28  1997 at 8  45 p  m  at the crossgates mall cinema 18  guilderland  ny   theater 8  with matt perreault and my sister jena for free  matt paid using prepaid passes   if theres ever been an exception to the perils of excessive cliches and non stop action  the james bond films are it  and if theres ever been a james bond film that not only proves this  but does so by pushing it to the extreme   tomorrow never dies  is it  opening sequences almost always make or break action films  when done properly  not only are they actually exciting  but they foreshadow things to come  this film starts off on the right foot by establishing the kind of atmosphere that could only be found in an action movie  but with a sense of the selfaware  enclosed universe where james bond movies take place in  first theres a hightech  slightly complicated scene involving a british warship crossing into unfriendly  chinese waters  theres definite tension as there seems to be an unknown  but certainly hostile  third party involved who is manipulating both sides  when the scene ends in tragedy  its clear theres some kind of powerful conspiracy going on  and who else to call on for such a case but james bond  the film uses good judgment in the way it introduces us to bond  brosnon   as the enemy was portrayed as evil and mysterious  bond is clearly  and obviously  depicted as an outandout hero  he singlehandedly takes out a small army of terrorists  and then must escape in the nick of time by flying away in a fighter jet while the copilot tries to strangle him and a terrorist in another jet tries to shoot him down  this might sound like the kind of cliches films like this are notorious for  over  using  but it works here because the film knows how to get our attention quickly  its not about the payoff because its obvious bond will escape  instead  its the way it processes the action sequences by going over the top and not apologizing for it  all the while creating for witty  hysterical comedy  it seems less emphasis is placed on the villains in thrillers anymore  because of political correctness  and just plain coppingout on behalf of the filmmakers  even the term  villain  sounds passe   what the film deserves kudos for is its ability to create a villain as heinous as they come  yet making him seem completely plausible  jonathon pryce delivers a perfect performance as the arrogant  cunning elliot carver  a media mogul whose goal is to take over the world  that is  through his massive media empire  not through nuclear weapons  through some interesting detective work  bond and the english ministry of defense believe carver is behind the trouble brewing in the southern asian seas as a way to create and accurately cover his own news  not only is that an original idea for a conflict  but one which could carry over into reality  surprisingly  this is about as detailed as the story allows the specific plot to become  the films hook is the action  and of course those cool gadgets and we get plenty of that here as bond goes out to investigate carver and finds himself in a jam or two along the way  the story works much like bond himself  always on the run and concentrates more on the individual conflicts than any general plot  somehow a chinese agent  wai lin  yeoh   bumps into bond a few too many times and they find themselves working together  the chemistry between brosnon and yeoh is rigid  but also works because of this  not in spite of it  the two are constantly on the run from carver and his goons  yet the film manages to balance the stunts and special effects with its clever story  although  tomorrow never dies  is far from perfect  it is quite an impressive film in terms of its ability to be so cliche and cartoony and not make plausibility an issue  
pos	james jones  one of the major novelists from the middle of the twentieth century  has written a number of fictional works about the effects of war on the individual  a veteran of world war ii  and a witness to the pearl harbor bombings  his novels are not only grounded in realism but poetic in nature  they are reminiscent of stephen crane in their blunt eloquence  a trait which lends itself to razorsharp focus  but perhaps none matches the scope of his autobiographical novel  the thin red line  now a cinematic masterpiece from director terrence malick  the books principal cast  some thirty characters  has been trimmed down for this rendition  but it still retains its most endearing value  each of the roles has an everyman quality  emphasizing jones examination of world war ii on the american soldier  theres a definitive chain of command present  and this also plays on the motivations of the cast  but most importantly  and perhaps intrinsic to the novel but not to the movie  a dynamic and effective voiceover is used  malick has several characters relating their thoughts  giving the viewer a greater perspective of the issues at stake  the issues at stake are many and one  told from a limited thirdperson perspective  as opposed to a topdown  omniscient view   the movie entails the struggle of an american infantry company   cforcharlie   to take a hill during the conflict at guadalcanal  the south pacific island is seen by the top brass as the key position for american armed forces to hold if they want to win the war  and want to win the war they do  in an excellent performance  nick nolte plays cforcharlies commanding officer  lt  col  gordon tall  hes an aging soldier who embodies the winatallcosts mentality  if only to impress his superior  john travolta  in a questionable cameo   this philosophy is opposite that of captain bugger staros  elias koteas   who dearly values the life of each and every one of the men under his command  at the front are the privates and corporals  adrien brody  james caviezel  ben chaplin  et al   lead by 1st sgt  welsh  sean penn   who must actually execute the suicide orders handed down to them  the thin red line is filled with intense  visual poetry  but its nearly three hours long  although the interest level is high throughout the first two hours  the climax comes fortyfive minutes before the end of the movie  it goes without saying that the movie drags on the back end  the thin red line will doubtless be compared to 1998s other masterpiece of war  saving private ryan a countless number of times  but to do so is to belittle both films  for although similarities abound  so do differences  director malick has a story to tell  and for those interested in listening  this can be a very outstanding movie  
pos	an energetic  visually stunning  but intellectually hollow recreation of the mysterious life of jeanne darc  in history jeanne darc is lost in an ocean of mystery and controversy  which creates the perfect launching pad for talented and creative directors  who can basically alter the story as they wish  she came in a time where people desperately needed a saint  a hero that could rescue them for misery and deliver peace and happiness  directorwriter luc besson  nikita  leon  portrays his version of the peasant girl who commanded the armies of france and was burned at the stake for witchcraft  besson tries to recreate the person behind the legend  he tries not to show her as a saint or a villain  he shows her as a human being  in a time where blood was almost pouring from the sky  and the air smelled of rotten flesh  it is hard to keep your sanity  the only support and hope is in god  at the age of 13  jeanne  milla jovovich  watches her own sister murdered and raped by the english soldiers  this terrible event makes a lasting impact on jeannes mind  god is no longer her support  he has become her obsession  she starts seeing visions and signs that command her to raise an army and free france from the siege of the english tyranny  with the help of the wise yolande daragon  faye dunaway  and charles vii  john malcovich   whose grand royal ambitions and life are at stake  jeanne raises an army and marches towards the english walls  after this the film stays mostly on the battlefield  where besson demonstrates his ability to direct amazing action sequences  only occasionally resorting to a calmer tempo  the movie is filled with dreamy  symbolic images of pure artistic craftsmanship  that create a surreal and occasionally paranoiac atmosphere  the film is lost in time and space  hysterically jumping back and forth in jeannes thoughts  imagination and conscience  bessons visual style permits the audience to enter the medieval age  feel the smell of fresh blood and the adrenaline pumping in your body in the heat of battle  but the film is far from being flawless  the script needs a lot of polishing  except for jeanne  there are no real characters  and although a grand star cast is assembled  their characters are nothing more than props  not more alive than the costumes that they are wearing  as for the maiden of lorraine herself  she is portrayed as a simple girl  too small for her divine task  in the latter part of the film  we see her as hysterical  confused and on the brink of madness  with her past purity and innocence for ever lost  jovovich handles the part with more panache than one might expect  but though her screen time is incredible excessive  both malcovich  being john malcovich  and dunaway  titus  surpass her rather overacted and simply unprofessional performance  and even hoffman manages to breathe some life into his dreadfully small part  besides casting jovovich  bessons only mistake is his extreme sense of patriotism that in the end ruins his so gloriously crafted painting  there are some viscously evil englishmen that murder  pillage and betray with a smile on their faces  and some incredibly brave and noble frenchmen  represented by the  three musketeers  of this story  the brave gilles de rais  vincent cassel   the wise aulon  desmond harrington  and the strong la hire  richard ridings   though all those actor perform well  their characters are nothing more than symbols  banners that proclaim the glory of france  and thus  there is no sense of realism in this film  the messenger has muscles instead of brains  there is some relief in the end  where besson lays down his armor and starts thinking  dustin hoffmans appearance helps and the film ends elegantly and surprisingly effective with a climax worthy of praise  jeannes character is unlocked  but whether god was in the picture or not  is never quite explained  was she a confused peasant girl driven by her own hunger for revenge  or was she truly a messenger of god  the film poses as many questions as answers and nothing is completely obvious  bess o messenger is nothing more than a fairly good film  it is not much that you remember of it after you leave the theater  maybe the sound  the dreamy sequences  but certainly not the dialogue  it is an elegant and adrenaline pumping history lesson for the mtvgeneration  that although presents some interesting material  works better when its on the battlefield  
pos	im not quite sure what to say about mars attacks   which is obviously the work of a deranged genius  when tim burtons twisted alien invasion comedy really works  its breathtaking and hilarious in equal measure  and when it doesnt work  its just dull  im not even sure it works more often than it doesnt  but where it counts  that is  when this gleefully evil invading force from the red planet gets down to the business of blasting us to kingdom come  mars attacks  is brilliant  mars attacks  is based on a rather unsavory series of trading cards released by topps in the 1950s  and it takes its cues from the same sources as this summers independence day  old alien invasion flicks  disaster movies  and bigbudget special effects extravaganzas  but unlike independence day  which was a painfully middleoftheroad appeal to the hearts  minds and wallets of america  mars attacks  has a fully developed and very personal sense of wonder about it  the big difference is that while independence day celebrated the resilience of human beings  mars attacks  portrays us as the greedy and hapless schmucks that we are  the title sequence is just splendid  an incredible swarm of flying saucers rises out of the canals of the red planet and then storms earthward through the solar system in formation  the spinning metal saucers are dead ringers for the invading forces of movies past  and their first appearance on the big screen in combination with danny elfmans thundering  theremindriven score is absolutely jawdropping  its so overwhelming that  i swear to you  i had trouble breathing  the movie lays low for the next 40 minutes  we get a glimpse of the alien leader  resplendent in a purplesequined cape  when a television message is broadcast to the people of the world  naturally  the only way to communicate with earthlings is to preempt our regularly scheduled programming  but mostly  the first act is spent developing characters  setting up mildly comic situations  and drawing a quirky but dishearteningly drab picture of america according to tim burton  its a good thing that the most compelling personality in the movie belongs to the aliens  because burtons just not interested in making more than caricatures out of his human stars  anyone who comes to mars attacks  expecting to see a lot of one favorite actor is bound to be disappointed  with few exceptions  these characters are dispatched as the film progresses  jack nicholson is a lot of fun as the president of the united states but fizzles as a sleazy las vegas hotel developer  rod steiger does an amusing enough take on dr  strangeloves buck turgidson  glenn close brings some star power to the role of the first lady  and martin short is a presidential aide who meets the martians in the white houses  kennedy room   a secluded nook where he unwittingly tries to seduce an alien dressed up as a bighaired  pointybreasted sexpot  lisa marie  the burton flame who played vampira in ed wood   in an earlier scene  its made clear that the aliens studied human sexuality in the pages of an old issue of playboy  sarah jessica parker hosts her own tv show and michael j  fox is her newsman husband  the octogenarian sylvia sidney has a funny part as the old woman who cackles   they blew up congress   and plays a decisive role in the defeat of the alien menace  jim brown and tom jones are the films vegasbased heroes  and director barbet schroeder  reversal of fortune  has a funny cameo as the unfortunate french president  also on hand and underutilized are annette bening  pierce brosnan  pam grier  lukas haas and natalie portman  the latter two also show up in woody allens everyone says i love you   the real stars  of course  are the computergenerated martians  and theyre fantastic  with bare brains glistening atop their grinning skullfaces  round eggeyes with red pupils darting this way and that  these animated invaders are malevolence incarnate  joe dantes gremlins are the closest equivalent in recent memory  but burtons little monsters are more inventive  the films raison detre are the scenes of crimes against mankind  the most famous monuments of the world crumble under the alien assault  easter island is turned into a bowling alley  and the nasty little buggers perform hideous medical experiments on captured humans  the sheer level of mayhem is staggering  especially when the aliens make their first attack  blasting human beings into iridescent skeletons  parents are urged to pay special attention to the pg13 rating  its earned  the special effects vary from charming to astonishing to deliciously cheesy  and at least a couple of shots of mass destruction seem to have been engineered specifically in response to independence day  although mars attacks  was in production long before that films release  cinematographer peter suschitzky  who makes the most of wynn thomass wildly imaginative production design  thomas helped define the spike lee style   actually took time off from his mars attacks  regimen to shoot crash for david cronenberg  cronenbergs movie will almost certainly be more somber  it wont be released in the u  s  until early next year  but mars attacks  is surely a similarly elegant nightmare  this is not a nice movie   and which studio executive was duped into giving burton 70 million to make it   by setting the films final scenes in the nearly empty  holocaustravaged america that independence day conveniently avoided  burtons invasion epic suggests that the world weve got may not be worth saving until many of the people on it are dead  the victims of his invasion are naive  greedy  or disastrously selfabsorbed  and a good thing  too  since the movies wicked charm is dependent on our ability to take this invasion partly as a wishfulfillment fantasy  the surviving cast members are the innocents and the entertainers  who triumph by determining that the alien invaders  the ultimate elitists  are actually susceptible to the kitschiest strains of american pop culture  ultimately  this messy masterpiece is the years funniest comedy and a weird  winking affirmation of the power of the people  
pos	capsule  trippy  hyperspeed action machine from hong kongs accomplished tsui hark  van damme and rodman have nice chemistry  the stunts are eyepopping  and stuff gets blowed up real good  what more do you want  i admit i was all set to loathe double team  it reeked of cheapjack timingoriented marketing  stick dennis rodman in a movie  quick  while hes hot  and do something about jeanclaude van dammes flagging career while were at it    surprise  double team transcends its dumb roots and turns out to be a mess of fun  bring some friends  get some pretzels  and have a blast  van damme is jack quinn  an exagent who is brought back in for  one last mission   youd think any spy worth his shoe phone would run like hell when he hears those words  but van dammes character has a pregnant wife whos also a sculptor  and some unpleasant pressure gets used to get him to come through on this mission  hes been assigned to take down an old enemy  a terrorist named stavros  mickey rourke  looking oddly subdued   who may be back up to his old tricks  in the first showdown between quinn and stavros  the movie wears its ambitions proudly on its sleeve  nonstop action  an amusement park  a hospital  a private  retired spy  s retreat  most of rome  various houses  planes  cars and other modes of transport  and the coliseum    all become arenas for some of the most bonerattling shootouts and punchouts filmed  they are better seen than described and are reason enough to see the film  one jawdropping scene has van damme taking on a man who uses a switchblade with his  feet    van damme is a good  dextrous athlete and fighter  but he is often upstaged   there are other nice touches  stavros and quinn both want the same thing  to retire in peace with their families  that ambition ties them together in various ways  and also humanizes them a bit  one of the things about hk action movies is that theres always some form of human element  and thats carried over into this movie as well  it gives weight to scenes that would otherwise be forgettable  also good is dennis rodman  playing a weapons dealer named yaz  a character who sticks out like a fistful of broken fingers and who is funny just standing there  rodman is natural on screen  hes fun to watch  especially when slinging bad guys like basketballs  and deserves to get a movie of his own  based on whats seen here  a lightweight  fastmoving entertainment that showcases all of its pieces excellently  
pos	the heartbreak kid  reviewed on aug  26th1998  starring charles grodin  cybill sheppard  eddie albert in  the heartbreak kid   charles grodin plays one of the most unbelievably obnoxious characters ive seen on screen in a long time  hes a guy who spends virtually the entire running time of the movie bullshitting his way from one situation to another  i doubt he ever expressed any genuine feeling at all during the film  as the film opens  he has just gotten married  and is on the way to miami beach for his honeymoon  halfway there  he begins to resent his bride  by the time he arrives at his hotel and has met the cybill sheppard character  he is ready to divorce his wife  as played by grodin  this character is the type of person that nothing will ever be good enough for him  the phrase  the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence  was practically written with him in mind  however  if he finds something he really wants  he will pursue it for as long as it takes  the only problem is  once he has it  he immediately loses interest  the end of  the heartbreak kid  is both hilarious and sad for that very reason  charles grodin is at his smarmy best here  and sheppard is quite appealing as the object of grodins desire  however  the real scene stealer is jeannie berlin  daughter of director elaine may  as grodins whiny bride  she owns every scene that shes in  and makes you almost want to root for what the grodin character is trying to do   the heartbreak kid  was written by neil simon and it shows  simon loves to deconstruct and analyze human relationships  and hes at the top of his game here  as maddeningly obnoxious as the grodin character is  hes the type of guy that everyone knows  the character of george costanza on  seinfeld  seems to have been modelled after him  the only problem with the film is that its not that funny  and its billed as a comedy  as much as i could see the realism in the characters  it would have been nice to have a chuckle here and there   the heartbreak kid  is not a date movie  it has an extremely negative view of relationships  so seeing it with a girlfriendboyfriend  could be hazardus to your health  
pos	its a curious thing  ive found that when willis is not called on to carry the whole movie  hes much better and so is the movie  even though  in the sixth sense he is the  name   he doesnt have the pivotal role  that honour goes to haley osment who plays cole sear  cute pun  seer  a 9 year old boy who can see ghosts  if osment was cute or precious  the director going for the maudlin  this would be nothing more than a movieoftheweek  thankfully  osment is not only better than that  but in some instances  blows everyone else off the screen in a bravura performance  we get to see his fears  vulnerabilities  strengths and intelligence which makes the sixth sense one of the best movies ive seen this year  the whole cast matches him in quality  with willis giving a fairly low key performance that matches the subject matter  one thing about this movie  its target  this isnt a sfxfest like the haunting or a gorefest  this is more what id call a supernatural drama  more interested in characters than in dazzling you with makeup  one caveat  theres a lovely twist in the movie  something like the usual suspects  where you end up replaying the movie in your head rethinking what you have just seen  i was extremely lucky to see it as a sneak preview in toronto  before any hype or critical reviews were out  so i went in with no biases  if anyone want to talk to about the movie before you see it  dont let them  let the director explain on his own pace and youll enjoy the movie vastly more  
pos	ill be the first to admit i didnt expect much from the emperors new groove  more celine dionesque songanddance numbers  cuddly characters that become crosspromotion devices in mcdonalds happy meals  and hollywood stars trying to gain credibility by adding a voiceover job to their resume  i was dead wrong about all of those things  the emperors new groove is funny  damn funny  and the cute characters in the film are the dangerous ones  the script is fast and furious  with no singing and dancing  the animation is clean and would give walt a warm feeling all over  the humor is dry and aimed at both the cynicism and the goodness in all of us  the story is ridiculously weird and comes off as a strange acid trip involving talking  crossdressing llamas and schizophrenia  heres the plot  try to follow along  set in a mythical kingdom  the film follows the adventures of kuzco  david spade   an arrogant and egocentric emperor  when kuzco fires his powerhungry advisor  yzma  eartha kitt   she and her  assistant  kronk  seinfelds patrick warburton  change him into a llama  kuzco then gets stranded in the jungle and must rely on pacha  john goodman   a llamaherder whose home was to be replaced by kuzcos water world theme park  to save him  then the fun starts  for the next sixty minutes  the audience is treated to something unheard of in disney films these days  imagination  yzma  voiced by the talented singer eartha kitt  looks like a cross between norma desmond  joan crawford  and a really old vegas showgirl  the dialogue between her and her oblivious assistant kronk is quick  sharp  and feels like an episode of seinfeld  which would make sense   david spade and john goodmans character interactions make you feel like youre watching an old hopecrosby film  spade is beyond dry with his humor and shoots below the belt on several occasions  and i laughed out loud several times  needless to say  that is an extremely rare thing in disney screenings these days  the best part about the emperors new groove is how audacious the film is  the sheer weirdness factor is very high  crossdressing  schizophrenia  duality of soul  people being turned into every animal on noahs boat  llama cpr  homoerotic tendencies  an emperor with his own theme song and singer  michael jackson dance moves  and a guy that can communicate with a squirrel are only a few of the oddities that make the film a true orginal  simply put  the emperors new groove is one of the best childrens films out for this holiday season  kids will enjoy the adventures  and parents will enjoy the story and dialogue  thats a tough thing to pull off in a single package  but this emperor manages to do it  
pos	before even seeing a single frame of the film  it would be easy to snicker at deep impact  in which a comet on a collision course with earth threatens the existence of all life on the planet  it is the latest entry in this decades dubious revival of the 70s disaster film  and the first of two  the sky is falling  flicks to hit screens this year  the other being this coming julys armageddon  in which a meteor is the threat   its tagline   oceans rise  cities fall  hope survives  is not as cornball as that of the utterly ridiculous collapsing tunnel thriller daylight   they came in alone    the only way out    is together    but its every bit as treacly  the opening moments of deep impact offer more to snicker at  the cheesiness is not confined to the disaster movie conventions  such as the usual opening  roll call   in which all the major characters and their personal problems are introduced  the most prominent of the  personal  stories is that of ambitious tv news reporter jenny lerner  tea leoni   who is distraught that her father  maximilian schell  left her mother  vanessa redgrave  for a younger woman  rya kihlstedt   what is just as snickerworthy is how this coventure between paramount and dreamworks skg aggressively pushes another highprofile corporate collaboration  microsoft and nbcs cable news network msnbc  which employs jenny  who is the films ostensible main character  in the vision of america presented here  msnbc is the television news source of choice in every home  when in reality it only reaches a fraction of the country  the initial signs point toward something along the lines of a volcano or dantes peak  but theres one thing about deep impact i underestimated  the skills of director mimi leder  she won an emmy for her helming work on nbcs smash er  which is essentially a weekly disaster movie  each episode featuring a new set of guest stars with their own personal and medical crises  the challenge presented by this format to the director is twofold   1  to make the audience care for these guest characters  regardless of how briefly seen or thinly written they are  and  2  powerfully tug at the emotions without being heavyhanded or overly melodramatic  having passed the  er challenge  in numerous episodes and showed a flair for creating suspense in the peacemaker  leder could not be a better fit to bring michael tolkin and bruce joel rubins rather formulaic disaster screenplay to screen  as the countdown to impact progresses  the ominous feeling of doom is palpable  leading the final act to take on a surprisingly convincing and affecting emotional dimension  theres nothing here that will profoundly move anyone  but the fact that anything manages to touch the heart is high achievement in a genre generally more concerned with effects  situations that initially feel contrived  such as jennys familial crisis and the teenage romance between sarah hotchner  leelee sobieski  and comet discoverer leo biederman  elijah wood   achieve some poignance  and even the more vaguely drawn characters  including u  s  president tom beck  morgan freeman   astronaut spurgeon  fish  tanner  robert duvall   and his rather faceless crew  ron eldard  jon favreau  mary mccormack  blair underwood  and alexander baluyev  aboard the cometbombing spacecraft messiah  have their share of touching moments  the latter fact owes a debt to the actors  who all do a solid job and are wellcast  with the possible exception of leoni  she delivers a decent performance  but her trademark unconventional speech rhythms and line delivery make her somewhat hard to buy as a star news broadcaster  although its catastrophic theme and impressive special effects work  the giant ocean waves are particularly spectacular  place deep impact in the same category as the likes of twister  it is the first of the 90s disaster films to successfully marry the advanced film technology with emotions that ring truea film that makes a genuine impact  even if it isnt as deep as hoped  
pos	the heist of a flawless  84 carat diamond  fixed bare knuckle fights  irish gypsies and a dog are just some of the goings on in director guy ritchiess sophomore feature   snatch    lock  stock and two smoking barrels  introd helmerscripter ritchie with a hyperkinetic  in your face underworld comedy that grabbed the viewers attention from beginning to end  his protagonists were innocents set adrift in a see of sharks to swim or be eaten alive  with  snatch   the director doesnt remake his first work  but he does delve more deeply into the criminal underbelly of london  mining a rich collection of characters in the process  from the very beginning   snatch  tosses you into the action with the theft of the fabulous diamond  the desire of new york gangster avi  dennis farina   en route from antwerp  diamond thief and courier frankie four fingers  benicio del toro  stops in london to make a separate deal with avis partner and cousin  doug  the head   mike reid   frankies addiction to gambling tempts him into making a bet on an illegal boxing match for boris  the blade   rade sherbedgia   a ruthless russian mobster  the bet turns out to be a setup for a robbery by a trio of bumbling incompetents  vinnie  robbie gee   sol  lennie james  and portly tyrone  ade   that goes miserably awry  meanwhile  a couple of young toughs  turkish  jason stratham  and tommy  stephen graham   are trying to break in to the boxing game with the help of local villain brick top  alan ford   who also owns a pig farm  when their first fighter is put out of action  with one punch  by a wild irish gypsy named mickey oneil  they figure to put the loose canon in as the contender in a fixed fight  mickey proves less than reliable and goes against turkish and tommys deal  brick top  impressed by mickeys performance  decides to gives them another chance  after calmly explaining that it takes 16 pigs about eight minutes to completely devour a corpse  when avi doesnt get his precious rock  he jumps on a plane for london and hires a local legend   bullet tooth  tony  vinnie jones   to find frankie and the diamond  things spiral out of control as all these forces head on a collision course of doublecross and doubledeals  and a dog that ate a squeaky toy  guy ritchie  mr  madonna to some  is an extraordinarily talented auteur who has a wonderful knack for pulling together his unique collection of cast and crew and feeding them funny and gritty dialog that spews out of the characters mouths like machine gun fire  the helmer marshals his large ensemble actors in a frantically paced caper comedy that makes you laugh and feel queasy at the same time  the above description by brick top being just one example  the assemblage of actors and nonactors in roughandtumble settings gives  snatch  an earthy feel in its depiction of londons criminal underworld  the cast of characters is too large to credit here  but two of the performances  first among equals  you might say  are worth noting  alan ford is brilliant as the ruthless  evil brick top  when he refuses sugar in his tea because  im sweet enough   it makes you shiver  even as you laugh  his is one of the best gangster characters ive seen in years  the other outstanding perf is given by none other than brad pitt  the name actor the movies popularity may hang upon  at least initially  pitt  as mickey oneil  is hard drinking  hard fighting  highly unreliable and nearly incomprehensible with a unique irish brogue and dialect of the pikers  the irish travelers of europe  this gypsy brigand would steal the fillings from your teeth  especially if it would benefit his beloved mum  sorcha cusack   when brick top threaten the safety of mickeys family  he makes an enemy that cannot be stopped  pitt puts a credible spin on his character and does some incredible physical stuff  too  as a bareknuckle boxer  the production team behind the camera includes ritchie alumni  producer matthew vaughn and lenser tim mauricejones  and other talented technical artist that bring the hyperactive imagination of the author to visual life  there is a patent feel to the look of  snatch  and  lock  stock and two smoking barrels  that reeks of  signature  for ritchie  but im not sure how this will translate in his future works  there is so much talent in the filmmaker that i would like to see him branch out in other directions  nonetheless   snatch  is terrific sophomore effort  a darn good action comedy and a hoot to boot  i give it a b  
pos	tbwp is probably the single most profitable film ever  not surprising  considering its tiny us100  000 budget  to date it has earned in excess of us130 million  thats a shocking 100 times profit  rumours have it that a smart internet marketing ploy was so successful in gaining cultlike fanatics  by word of mouth coupled with strings of excellent reviews  the film just exploded in the boxoffice  raking in millions on its opening weekend  shot in 16mm and video  i suspect    the film chronicles the forays of 3 students who go in search for the legendary blair witch  audiences are put in the firstperson perspective in the entire misadventure  often wobbly and blurry at times  it takes a bit of getting used to in the beginning  this is supposed to be the material they discovered in the woods where the 3 disappeared  edited and put onto the screen for the benefit of our audiences  tbwp is simply smart  filmed to look as if it was really a stockshoot by a bunch of students in search of the blair witch as a school project  one may suspect  like yours truly  that its simply a lazy but smart approach to filmmaking  simply amazing in that respect  i must say  talk about impact  oh yes  tbwp does have quite a bit  in fact most audience will find it deeply disturbing  i did  especially the last bit but im not revealing more  you have to see it for yourself  i cant help but feel a tad cheated after knowing how commercially successful this film has become  could it be that finally  an indiefilm has unwittingly found a formula for commercial appeal  or was it all simply a ploy by the big players right from the beginning  well  i guess the fact stays  tbwp is highly original  clever and will most definitely leave most with something dreadful to talk and think about for weeks prior to watching this film  no gore  no special effects  i just cant get over how terribly smart this film is  
pos	i am starting to write this review before going to see strawberry and chocolate  cubas oscar nominee for best foreign film  directed by tomas gutierrez alea  who also directed the sometimes and in some circles critically acclaimed memorias del subdesarrollo  memories of underdevelopment   i saw memorias as part of a cuban cinema class back in the late 70s  it merged the politics of the cuban revolution with mundane elements of the human condition  i knew then that memorias was probably a statesanctioned political missive  and now expect strawberry will follow suit  fellow internetters  primarily in the newsgroup dedicated to cuba  soc  culture  cuba   have mentioned that strawberry is a harsh criticism of the revolution and its current state of affairs  i have jumped to the conclusion that strawberry is nothing more than a veiled attempt at espousing the party lineit probably looks like political criticism  but it aint so  having some first hand and extensive anecdotal knowledge of castros repressiveness  i cant conceive of his tolerating honest and adversarial criticism of the revolution  and i cant imagine his letting anyone even suggest his failure as a leader of a failed movement  as kids say these days  duh   the revolutions current state needs no criticism  its physical and spiritual crumbling is self evident  the proper questions to put relate to castros legitimacy  i bet the film takes castros power for granted  and that this or any other movie  produced under cubas state control  cannot question his right to run cubas political show  ongoing now for more than 36 years   thats why i just cant believe strawberry is an honest criticism of the regime  lets see what happens after the room goes dark and the screen lights up  i saw the filmtwice  i was right  castro remained intact  strawberry negotiates the relationship between a young  dialectic materialist   as he describes himself  and a homosexual photographer  diego  in 1979 cuba  the young man  david  is the son of peasants  a symbol of the revolutions reason for being  grateful to the revolution for the opportunity to receive a university education  he studies political science instead of literature  his avocation  because he perceives it is his duty  therein lies a likely unintended irony  since cuba has no need for political theoreticians  cubas government is castro  diegos lifestyle is the antithesis of revolutionary life  he enjoys the finer thingstea  opera  art  he does not do  voluntary work  for the revolution  his small apartment is a sensual oasis  the moniker  bourgeois  figuratively hangs over his head during the early parts of the movie  however  he is a  revolucionario  in his own way  the supporting roles are filled by  an aging busybody with a heart of gold and a troubled psyche  davids roommate  who rally takes the communist party line to its expected extreme  davids exgirlfriend  who dumped him for another guy  yet wants to bed him before she leaves for italy with her husband  german  a gay sculptor whose work diego is attempting to exhibit  and who strikes a faustian pact with the government  gutierrez alea and codirector juan carlos tabio do a fine job at almost showing that homosexuals can be revolutionaries too  heck  towards the end of the film you begin to think the guy deserves a medal for his patriotic fervor  he really loves the revolution  as supposedly does everybody else in cuba  and wants to make it better by exposing and correcting some of its flaws  real criticism is missing though  this movie is political window dressing  luis aguilar leons op  ed  piece on fresa in the miami herald  10 march 1995  at 21a  did not color my judgment  it presaged my intuition  aguilar leon expressed my sentiment about this films political angle best  like many artistic manifestations in cuba  strawberry and chocolate sprang from a totally manipulated environment  as art critic ivan de la nuez well states in the latest issue of the magazine postmodern notes  the silenced artists are those who refuse to accept  the charade in which artists can provoke up to a point  while the institutions legitimize themselves by forbidding them to go beyond that point   although terrible propaganda  this is otherwise a fine film  
pos	capsule  this is a 1950s or 1960s style heist film  set in the present  robert deniro stars as a riskadverse safecracker who wants to retire form crime but takes one last job at the request of a personal friend  played by marlon brando   edward norton plays a hotshot young sharpster who is also in on the crime  the plot is mostly straightforward suspense with little nonsense   2  4 to 4  i am sure i must have seen almost the identical plot before  this is a heist film made for an adult audience who probably wanted a crime film like they had seen in theaters when they were teens  there are no superhuman acrobats taking nosedives off of buildings like in entrapment  there is no rock score  there are no ballet like martial arts  this is just a basic heist film with a decent and distinctly credible and unflashy script  nick  played by robert deniro  is a safecracker who has managed to be successful by never taking risks  if a job is not a safe bet  pun intended   he backs out  sometimes even the safe bets turn out not to be so safe  when one job very nearly goes wrong nick is unnerved enough to decide that it is nature telling him that it is time to get out of the game  he returns to his home in montreal where he owns a jazz club  and decides to manage it full time  he proposes to his girl friend diane  angela bassett   she has one condition  he must stay retired from crime  but before the deal can be cemented  max  a montreal kingpin and personal friend  has one last supposedly easy job for nick  nick wants no part particularly because the heist will be right in his hometown of montreal  more and more details seem to complicate the job  nicks partner in the crime is to be a smart  but uncontrollable young crook  jack  edward norton   jack treats a locked front door like a welcome mat  even at his associates homes  the young crook is a knowitall who seems good at everything he does but at avoiding rubbing people the wrong way  together they plan to steal a priceless historic artifact from the montreal customs house  the script by kario salem  lem dobbs  and scott marshall smith works like an episode of the old  mission impossible  television series  we see pieces of the heist being put together  last minute changes  and things that go wrong  much like a good episode of  mission impossible   this team might not be bad choices to write scripts for the tom cruise  mission impossible  films  the complications are  however no more and no fewer than are needed to make the story believable  the telling is cold and noirish  which is just what it is supposed to be  director frank oz  the voices of yoda and miss piggy proves surprisingly good at directing a serious crime film  the score has a more than adequate cast with little flashy or scenestealing acting  edward norton probably has the flashiest role and even that is lowkey by todays standards  he plays what is nearly a double role  jack pretends to be a brain damage victim to be hired for a job in the customs house  one nice    character i have not mentioned is stephen  jamie harrold   stephen is a master hacker who lives in his mothers basement in a house with a lot of screaming in both directions  he seems like the last person the risk adverse nick would want to depend upon  the film itself remains lowkey up until the time of the climactic heist  then the pace really picks up  before that the plot even stops twice for jazz interludes  though oz never lets the music steal time from the story the way woody allen does in sweet and lowdown  on the subject of music  the score of the score is by howard shore  it adds tension to the suspense scenes  but never seems to have much of a melody  angela bassett is the one misused celebrity in a totally minor role that should have been played by a less famous actress who needed a break  she has nothing to do in the film but demand that nick give up crime and to look like an attractive reward if he does  speaking of being attractive the score seems to be attracting an older audience who learned to appreciate much the same sort of film in the 1950s and 1960s  it does the job  i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  
pos	dont let the following quirks of this review  fool you into believing that this movie is anything short of an ultimate labour of love  but one can see the humour of roberto benigni when you see that  life is beautiful  even though im a short  ugly looking man with an obnoxious laugh  life is beautiful even though i havent amounted to much in life  except working out the finer intricacies of waitering  im a lucky sort of a guy  especially when a beautiful woman strips away my venner of superficiality to find a new age  sensitive guy with the biggest heart in the entire world underneath  life is beautiful  im a jew  but life can still be beautiful  the nazis put me in a concentration camp  but life is still beautiful  i love my son very much and thats what matters  and thats what makes life beautiful  my ability to entertain somehow convinces my son that living in a concentration camp is somewhat beautiful  i get shot for my efforts and the woman i love  but hey thats life and thats still a beautiful thing  so by jove dont give me any crap about it  by far the movie with the biggest heart this decade and well deserves every nomination and award that it has achieved  well done  there should be more film directors and actors like you roberto benigni  
pos	getting it right is a far far cry from the teenage sex comedy you might expect from a summer movie about male virginity  the film was directed by randal kleiser  who brought us such bubblegum classics as grease and the blue lagoon  but thanks to kleisers surprisingly good direction and an intelligent script  getting it right is a pleasantly quiet  moving  and memorable filmone geared strictly toward a sophisticated  adult audience  getting it right stars jesse birdsall  emily lloyds boyfriend in wish you were here  as gavin  a painfully shy 31yearold hairdresser who lives at home with his parents and whogaspis still a virgin  gavin has no problem whatsoever making small talk with the elderly women who clamor for his services at the hair salon  but expose him to a single 30yearold beauty and hes a mess  much to gavins surprise  the woman who finally brings him out of his shell and robs him of his virginity is joan  lynn redgrave   a rich  married  and lonely 45yearold  getting it right is the simple story of gavins awkward and haphazard efforts to get it right  that is  to find the right woman to fulfill his life  getting it right is one of those rare movies that devotes itself entirely to indepth character development  gavins selfconscious voiceover narration of his experiences firmly thrusts us into his psyche  we observe his fascinating metamorphosis from shy and passive introversion to assertive and selfconfident maturity  birdsalls superb  understated performance as gavin is the real backbone of the film  he seems convincing and authentic throughout  the charm of getting it right also lies in the wide array of people who inhabit or invade gavins life  despite her limited screen time  redgrave makes quite a splash in the movie as gavins middleaged seducer  for a supporting character  joan is unusually and impressively complex  thanks in large part to redgraves magnificent performance  gavin is also pursued  or perhaps plagued  by minnie  the totally neurotic daughter of a rich aristocrat  after minnie and gavin meet at a party  she takes great pleasure in disrupting his safe and simple life  helena bonham carter is delightfully pathetic and kooky in the role  and sir john gielgud  with his tongue in his cheek  embodies the height of arrogance as her father  gavins eventual loveinterest is jenny  the adorable twentyyearold single mother who assists him at the beauty salon  london stage actress jane horrocks fine performance yields a touchingly sweet character  peter cook  the great british satirist  appears briefly in the film as gavins uptight employer  the scenes of gavins home life with his parents are also a treat  gavins overprotective mother  pat heywood   whom even woody allen would find overbearing  almost steals the movie  her life seems limited to just two activities  treating gavin like a 10yearold and preparing exotic but inedible meals  such as scalding hot curry and baked chicken with chocolate sauce  gavin and his fathers attempts to avoid eating her meals are extremely amusing  getting it right  for the most part  is very wellcrafted  except for two minor shortcomings  first  the movie is about 15 minutes too long  and consequently it loses momentum at times  second  the film includes an altogether extraneous subplot about the domestic problems between gavins best friend  harry  and his unfaithful lover  winthrop  overall  however  getting it right is quite memorable for its humor  depth  sophistication  and outstanding acting  director kleiser and screenwriter elizabeth jane howard  adapting her own highly acclaimed novel  deserve praise for finding just the right tone for this tale of growth  maturation  and selfdiscovery  
pos	no matter what you suspect  this isnt your usual action thriller  the usual suspects is an intelligent crime mystery story from upandcoming director bryan singer  its one of those movies that  after everything is revealed rapidfire at the end  you immediately want to rewind and watch again because earlier scenes take on a new light  plot twists agogo are what you get here  i gave up trying to figure out the mystery of keyser soze after awhile and just sat back and waited for them to reveal it to me  keyser soze is a name youll hear at least a hundred times if you watch the usual suspects and for good reason  its not only the name of the mysterious  and possibly even mythical  crime boss in the movie  it also sums up the movie   keyser soze  in latin means  an intelligent crime mystery story from upandcoming director bryan singer   or maybe i shouldnt have bought a foreignlanguage dictionary from the same company that makes those 99cent encyclopedias sold in supermarkets  at the movies opening  a group of known criminals are brought in for a police lineup  including mcmanus  stephen baldwin   keaton  gabriel byrne   fenster  benicio del toro   buckney  kevin pollack  and verbal  kevin spacey  winner of the best supporting actor academy awardsymbol 153  f  times new roman   s 10  h for his performance in the movie   verbal is sonamed because he frequently rambles on about anything or nothing  he also earns his name as the movies narrator  spouting memorable lines like  the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didnt exist   although  obviously  he does exist  what else could explain kris kross having a comeback in 1996   while being interrogated by police detective chazz palminteri  any actor with multiple zs in their name is okay in my book   we see the story unfold as spacey retells it  the five felons  upon being released from the lineup  get their revenge on the police by exposing a corrupt taxi service  whereby elite criminals pay to be smuggled through town in cop cars  and stealing all the money and drugs in the car  its a definite case of male bonding for the five criminals  who later find out they were brought together by the unseen keyser soze  who sends a minion to them with an offer they cant refuse  namely  they have to destroy sozes main competitors in organized crime by infiltrating a ship  shooting a bunch of people  burning all the drugs and stealing 91 million cash  spacey does a terrific job of bringing his seemingly unintelligent  cripple  character to life and baldwin  byrne  palminteri and the rest make for a good supporting cast  the usual suspects is one of those movies that deftly mixes scenes of violence and explosions with an underlying sense of mystery and suspense  keeping the viewer guessing until the very end  and then still leaving a few details open for scrutiny and discussion  i suppose all that would be cleared up if i really had rewound the movie and watched it again instead of changing the channel and wondering in disbelief what the hell kris kross was doing on mtv  a different mystery  i guess  which may turn into a murder mystery if that video ever comes on again    
pos	 dangerous beauty  is a really nothing more than a grandiose soap opera set in venice circa 1583  it is beautifully filmed  wonderfully acted  and certainly nothing short of entertaining  but it lacks any true fundamental seriousness  dealing with themes of forbidden love  religious intolerance  subordination of women  sexual freedom  and the roles of pleasure and sin in a highcultured society  it still feels like brightly lit fluff  the director  marshall herskovitz  doesnt want to follow the dark and dangerous trail this story could lead down  so he opts for a more genial  livelier  and relatively shallow interpretation  the film takes place during the renaissance  a time when venice was the pleasure capital of europe  at this time  venice was its own republic  and it thrived on being the central juncture of eastwest commerce  the film is told almost entirely through the viewpoint of the aristocracy and the bourgeoisie of venice  so we rarely get to see how the rest of the society lived  however  there is an abundance of detail concerning the lives and livelihoods of the upper classes  their hedonistic lifestyles and constant merriment  the story centers on veronica franco  catherine mccormack   a lower class woman who falls in love with marco venier  rufus sewell   the son of wealthy aristocratic parents  jeroen krabb  and joanna cassidy   unfortunately  the culture of that time period did not view marriage as an act of love  rather  it was more like a business transaction  where rich families married their sons and daughters to each other in order to secure power  wealth  and ensure that outsiders couldnt get in  veronica  despite her charm and good looks  is certainly an outsider  after a short love affair  marco breaks her heart with the news that he cannot marry her  however  because she is beautiful and intelligent  veronica has a chance to enter marcos world  albeit not as his wife  she decides to become a courtesan  a class of women who were as welleducated as they were ravishing  and sold their sexuality to wealthy men for the privilege of wining and dining with the elite  a courtesan was not a mere prostitute  they were afforded a special place in society  and they were greatly revered  respected  and often envied  at one point  a character mentions that some rulers obtain more political advice from their courtesans than from their lieutenants  veronica goes through the transformation with the help of her mother  paola  jacqueline bisset   who was once a famed courtesan herself  once she enters the lifestyle  veronica finds that it suits her quite well  she is allowed to read all the books she wants  she is given the opportunity to publish her poetry  and she has the richest and most powerful men in the republic throwing themselves at her feet  including the awestruck marco  their relationship develops into a playful bantering  with veronica utilizing her newfound power by constantly rejecting marcos advances  in many ways  their relationship is sad because marco is married to a women he is unable to love  and veronica is consumed by multiple relationships with men she is unwilling to love   love the love  not the man   as her mother told her   dangerous beauty   which was based on a factual book by margaret rosenthal  flows along as smoothly and serenely as the grand canal running through the heart of venice  it has multiple plot lines  including veronicas adversarial relationship with a court poet  oliver platt   her role in obtaining frances military assistance in venices battle against the turks  and even the dreaded shadow of the plague and the encroachment of the spanish inquisition  yet it is never confusing or overbearing  much of the films success is due to the glowing performance by catherine mccormack in the lead role  known chiefly for the small part she played as the lover whose murder raised mel gibsons ire in  braveheart   1995   mccormack shows the true gifts and inarguable talent of a leading lady  she has the kind of exquisite classical beauty that would be treasured in a courtesan  her character is intelligent  witty  and both sensual and vulnerable  all of which mccormack easily transmits with a single flash of her eyes  the rest of the roles are also filled well  including rufus sewell whose performance here and earlier this month in  dark city  have assured him a solid place in hollywood  he has the same kind of unusual good looks and charm of ray liotta  and he seems perfectly at home in period dramas  oliver platt plays a variation of the comic relief role that he has come to inhabit like a second skin  although the film deals his character a cheap blow at the end by having him improbably join the inquisition and turn into the bad guy  platt is a good actor  but hes just too hard to hate  jacqueline bisset proves that she is every bit as stirring as she ever was  and even fred ward turns up in a small  but moving performance as marcos uncle   dangerous beauty  is marshall herskovitzs sophomore directorial effort  after the overlooked 1993 film  jack the bear   partnered with edward zwick  herskovitz has spent most of his time as a producer on television   thirtysomething    my socalled life   and in the movies   legends of the fall    his directing style can be best described as transparent  it never gets in the way of the story  yet it has no discernible flourish or particular distinctions  he could have approached the film in any number of ways  including overdosing on the sexual aspect  which he wisely avoids   dangerous beauty  contains just enough bare flesh and ribald sex to make it appropriately erotic  but not so much that it seems exploitative  herskovitz is also aided by a strong supporting crew  including the luscious photography by bojan bazelli  whose previous efforts include the highlystylized thriller  kalifornia   1993  and abel ferraras dark scifi film  body snatchers   1994   bazelli captures the film in strong  bold colors  and be brings sixteenthcentury venice to life in wide  panoramic shots that are often enhanced with digital imagery  however  the real details are found in the production design by norman garwood   brazil    the princess bride   and the costumes by gabriella pescucci   the age of innocence    the only problem with  dangerous beauty  is that it doesnt stick with you  its a good story welltold with interesting characters  but its easy to shrug off once youve left the theater  the only sequence that has the chance to be truly indelible is veronica being pulled in front of the hypocrisy of the inquisition and threatened with the death penalty for her transgressions  but it never quite comes off because its simply too melodramatic and conventional  herskovitz tries with all his might to make it a nailbiter  but somehow its outcome is a foregone conclusion  and like the rest of the film  it carries no real weight  despite the potential severity of the subject matter  
pos	imagine this scenario  you and any of your family members are scudding through one of those long  excruciating crosscountry car trips  far from the city and into the deserted rural routes  so far  the trip is idyllic when  abruptly  your car malfunctions and you are stranded in the middle of nowhere  it is not an easy situation  but a perfectly plausible one  the panorama in which breakdown musters its throbbing suspense and skillfully executed tautness  it is not easy to cobble a distinct and gripping thriller nowadays  but breakdown doesnt bungle into rudimentary plot holes or cliches and it derives a masterful  titillating climax that by its finale  engrosses a viewer with total absorption  the plot is somewhat reminiscent of 1988s the vanishing  kurt russell and kathleen quinlan respectively play jeff and amy taylor  a massachusetts couple en route to california for a brand new job  when they stop for gas somewhere in the arid southwest  jeff is confronted by a pugnacious driver  who later  will be an important player in the plot department  minutes later after that  their brand new  strikingly red  jeep grand cherokee unexpectedly stops  jeff cannot detect the cars problem  so he allows amy to take a ride with red  j  t walsh   a heedful truck driver who will convey her to the nearest town  where jeff will meet her at a local diner  it is facile for the film to turn into a pseudosuspenser  but instead it opts for maximum fervor  jeff manages to restart the car himself  but when he arrives at the diner  she is nowhere in sight  disconcerted  the coffee shops bartender informs jeff where to search for his wife  a town about twenty miles from here  there  trouble arises  and i shall not reveal anything else  since that would be spoiling the fun of whats head  there are many involving  tight scenes in breakdown but the final climactic period which includes a magnificent chase with three cars and a huge truck  will have you feeling as if your legs are made out of pure foam  it is a pleasure to be part of a classic confrontation of good vs evil  and rooting for the good guys  in this case jeff  kurt russell is one of the few topnotch hollywood actors which doesnt overblow his acting  and gradually gains reliance on his role as it progresses  so you can assume his alteration in breakdown is letterperfect  suffice it is to say he undergoes a transformation  from a jolly man  to a guy frantically pursuing a loved one  not many wellpaid actors can deliver these type of performances  but russell is one of them  as an everyday man  he pulls it off extremely convincingly  what also surprised me more was his rigorous physicality  which he effectively practices almost all throughout the films 93 minutes  although the film is blotted with a couple of portentous action sequences  very well done  yet the tightness is generated by the subtle circumstances this man is presented with  faced with an enigma about his wifes whereabouts  the movie succeeds by conveying us in realistic territory with veritable characters  including the cryptic villains  who in essence  make the movie what it is  whats most impressive however  is the feature debut by writerdirector jonathan mostow  mostow  hitherto directed the showtime thriller flight of a black angle  alleviates the contrivances and generics of the script by gingerly pursuing the trajectory of the plot  efficiently letting the tone and the mood of the story generate that nailbiting suspense sought for in a well made affair  contrary to most american thrillers  he doesnt rely on visual flair  but on aesthetics and substance  after breakdown  he should gain vast notoriety  the villains in the movie arent your routine outofthisworld idiosyncratic psychos that are harming for no particular objective  the baddies in breakdown  all well acted  are normal  seemingly inoffensive townspeople who beneath their trustworthy layer  conduct an amoral business of corruption and murder  the movie smartly portrays these men as loathsome rednecks  and  of all things in the world  it is becoming rather easy to root for villains  jon voight in anaconda  in todays movies  worth a special mentioning is j  t walsh  who previously worked with kurt russell in executive decision  as the leader of the gang  he renders a deliciously wicked performance  temporarily stepping out of the minor roles he is known for  alfred hitchcock used suspenseand action not only to stimulate  but as a way of aiding his audiences fascination in his stories  which were slowly realizing mans biggest fears  breakdown yields exactly that  it magnificently taps into the psyche of an ordinary man  acting like an ordinary man  looking like an ordinary and some sort of superhero  despite one or two iffy moments even hitchcock  i think  would approve of breakdown   1  33  
pos	steve soderberghs  sex  lies  and videotape   which won the grand prize at the cannes film festival in 1989  arguably began the resurgence of independent films  made on a shoestring budget of 1  2 million  with then relatively unknown actors  it is a provocative  thoroughly original drama  the film mostly focuses on the four central characters  all in their late 20searly 30s  ann  andie macdowell   an unfulfilled housewife  is married to john  peter gallagher   an insensitive lawyer  who  unbeknownst to her  is having an affair with her younger sister  cynthia  laura san giacomo   complicating matters even worse is graham  james spader  who won best actor at cannes   johns old college buddy  who comes to stay at their house  ann is absolutely won over by him  even though she clearly has stated that she has very little interest in sex  that is the setup for the last hour of the picture  and since the film is entitled   sex  lies  and videotape   it is best to keep the rest of the story developments at bay so that they will come as a genuine surprise  director steven soderbergh has proven to be a wildly offbeat filmmaker  ranging from the independent  to the mainstream  1998s  out of sight    to the downright kafkaesque  1997s  schizopolis    he is the type of director who obviously takes a lot of chances  and believes in the work that he does  and   sex  lies  and videotape   is probably his most confident  and maybe even best  to date  the performances are superb from all four leads  but macdowell stands out in what is probably the main character  she is always a very winning actress  but this is probably her most threedimensional role that she has had  with a close second being altmans 1993 mosaic   short cuts    the other parts are perfectly cast as well  from spaders ominous graham  to gallaghers selfinvolved john  to giacomos outspoken cynthia  the final act of the film  especially  comes right out of left field  and turns out to be both shocking and oddly touching  and it would be criminal to give away the films secrets  suffice to say that  through one powerful sequence  ann is able to somewhat come out of her shell  and john learns a valuable lesson about honesty  as well as deception  the film has one fault  however  the characters are almost all emotionally cold and isolated from one another  and often unlikable  if there had been a few extra scenes with gallagher  it probably would have helped  since his relationship with macdowell isnt quite as explored as i would have liked   sex  lies  and videotape   although minorly flawed  is still easily a brave and adult motion picture that is far more mature and honest about its subject matter than the usual film  soderbergh clearly knew what he was doing while he was making it  and the final product certainly proves this  
pos	synopsis  private detective tom welles is hired by a wealthy widow to uncover the origins of a snuff film owned by her late husband  after uncovering the authenticity of the film  welles descends into an underground world of perverse pornographers seeking vigilante revenge on the filmmakers  comments  8 mm is one of the more disturbing mainstream movies i have seen in a long time  though it doesnt present a snuff film  a movie which documents a persons murder for real  usually during or after some form of sexual act  as explicitly as the cult classic mute witness and violence as shockingly as  say  natural born killers  8 mm stays in your head long after you see it  it is not fun to watch  see something else if you get upset by realistic  sadistic violence  this films violence and perverse sexuality skirts closely into nc17 territory  for those with strong stomachs  however  8 mm is an intelligent  worthwhile thriller  especially during its second hour  nicolas cage  after a couple hohum movies  returns to material which allows him to utilize his strong acting abilities  as tom welles  a private detective and caring family man to a wife and newlyborn daughter  cage skillfully and convincingly portrays a decent man whose unwavering energy slowly transforms into obssession and violence as he is pulled into a nightmarish world of underground pornographers and brutal sexual deviants  serving as a guide to this world is joaquin phoenix  who plays a struggling songwriter named max california  california  despite his name  is a surprisingly intelligent and complex character  and phoenix does a very good job at slowly pulling the audience to sympathy for the character  the real star of the movie  though  must be peter stormare  stormare played the  really  really evil guy  in fargo  and his character  dino velvet  in this movie seems about ten times more evil and unpredictable  his performance is very chilling  8 mms success may hardly be surprising  it was directed by joel schumacher  who  hopefully  saw this film as an apology for the absolutely dreadful batman and robin  before directing the last two batman duds  however  schumacher was responsible for several wellmade horror flicks  lost boys  flatliners  and falling down  8 mm certainly joins the rank of these minor classics and is perhaps most reminiscent of falling down in that both films present an average man who selfdestructs before the audiences eyes  8 mm was written by andrew kevin walker  who also penned the academy awardwinning thriller seven a few years back  like seven  8 mm is full of dialogue which haunts you well after leaving the theater  welles is searching for answers  how could anyone possibly drug and then slowly  methodically  sadistically kill a teenaged girl to make a film  when confronting one of the perpretrators at the end  the murderer responds that there are no reasons  he just enjoys it  that  walker seems to suggest  is where the real terror lays  not in the crime itself but in the fact that rational motives do not exist  a couple minor faults led me to my fourstar rating  five stars is the highest rating i give   one  i found it a little difficult  early on  to accept the fact that a hardened private detective would get physically disgusted when first seeing a snuff film  yes  snuff is a horrible thing  but a detective of welles caliber has probably encountered awful things before  second  some of the clues welles gathers are too convenient  he discovers  for example  the victims diary in her private bathroom  despite the fact the the police  the fbi  and her own mother have all investigated the room before  finally  the closing scene seemed trite and improbable considering the rest of the film  despite the above criticisms  8 mm is an engrossing story  one of the best scenes in the film occurs toward the end as a crazed welles  who no longer seems like a hero  brutally beats one of the pornographers responsible for the snuff film  he pulls a gun on the man and  for a relatively long amount of time  struggles to decide whether or not to kill him  he then leaves the building and calls the victims mother  in the middle of the night  to basically see if she would support the action  the entire scene is tense  unpredictable  and emotionally charged  rarely  anymore  do horror films or thrillers provoke suspense in me as 8 mm  with scenes like this  did  8 mm is most certainly not for the faint of heart  this is a graphic  oftentimes unflinching  look into the darkness which resides in both ordinary and extraordinary people  if youre prepared for a film of this nature  i give it an enthusiastic recommendation  
pos	to me  nicolas cage sounds like an ideal choice for the lead role in a martin scorsese film  despite the rantings that sean penn so rudely expressed  the actor remains a gifted and versatile screen presence  ever since the big success of the actionthriller faceoff in 1997  the hollywood road has been a rocky one for mr  cage  the perpetually awful assassination thriller snake eyes was one of 1998s worst films  8mm was a disappointing lost cause  but who better than scorsese to match cages wit and intensity  which he does in miraculous fashion with bringing out the dead  cage delivers one of his finest performances as frank pierce  a new york city emergency paramedic who is running on fumes from daytoday  after five years of the stressinducing job  frank basically just staggers onward  relying on heavy doses of caffeine and booze until his shift finally ends  he also begins seeing the ghosts of past patients who died under his care  namely a young girl named rose  who stares back at him with pale features at every street corner in new york  frank desperately wants to be fired  but his boss needs him to scour the city and help those in need  ill fire you tomorrow     he promises   frank is accompanied by a fresh face every night in the ambulance  the first is larry  john goodman   who always has food on the brain  the second is marcus  ving rhames   a deeply religious black man who incorporates the power of jesus into a regular rescue operation  and finally  tom  tom sizemore  is a deranged sociopath hungry for blood  i found it unique how scorsese used each of these characters for a single shift with frank  but they never figured into the actual plot  each is merely a colorful presence to help develop franks character  because bringing out the dead is predominantly a study of his mind and detailed personality  the one character alongside frank that truly comes into play is mary  patricia arquette   the daughter of a newly admitted patient who suffered from a severe heart attack  arquette  who recently received the wounds of christ in stigmata  performs well around reallife husband cage  its unfortunate that  after such intriguing character trials and tribulations  the relationship between frank and mary slips during a mishandled  ineffective finale  the movie belongs to the onetwo punch of cage and scorsese  who were born to collaborate their efforts in an arrangement similar to bringing out the dead  although it certainly lacks the grit and hardedge of something like goodfellas  scorsese manages to hit a nerve with his latest picture  the incredible camerawork and photography represent stunning flashes of brilliance in an otherwise unspectacular conglomeration  fans will be pleased to find the director has returned to his abrasive  darkly humorous roots after somewhat of a departure with 1997s kundun  does bringing out the dead rival scorseses finest work  only occasionally  some of the film feels surprisingly limp  but there is enough energy in its interesting material and breathtaking visual appearance to suffice  those expecting a grisly  risqu  product may be somewhat disheartened at the fairly straightarrow approach  but its still a solid  admirable effort  bringing out the dead was written by the acclaimed paul schrader  who collaborated with scorsese on such classics as taxi driver and raging bull  schraders script is full of moments  wonderful  sharply defined moments  that are sorted throughout the remainder of his meandering screenplay  the exceptional aspects of the film are its astounding technical credits and the amazing cast  goodman and sizemore are both electric  well  mainly sizemore   but its the phenomenal ving rhames who deserves a second look  watch the actors deeply inspired dedication as he resurrects a gothic band member  and youll understand why he won a golden globe  bringing out the dead is raw and electrifying often enough to mask its certain flaws  scorsese  and cage  for that matter  have done better  but their intentions are certainly admirable  
pos	at first glance  daylight would seem like your typical disaster movie  on second glance it looks that way too  although  as typical disaster movies go  daylight isnt that bad  admittedly  it seems to rip off a great deal of its plot devices from disaster flicks of days gone by  think poseidon adventure   but the decent dialogue and surprisingly good acting make up for the  havent i seen this scene somewhere before   feeling that creeps up all too often during the film  sylvester stallone stars as the recently fired head of new yorks emergency response team  by sheer luck  he is in the right place at the right time when disaster strikes the unaware inhabitants of this little film   what disaster is that   you ask  as you inch ever closer to the edge of your seat  glad you asked  through a whole sequence of entirely probable events  about as probable as hitting the lottery  a large explosion takes place in the lincoln tunnel running under the hudson river in new york city  the explosion results in the tunnel collapsing at both ends  which causes not only massive loss of life  but traps a dozen people inside the wreckage of the tunnel  good old sly  who is only feet away from entering the tunnel when it collapses  offers his services to the rescuers  who gladly accept it  sly then enters the tunnel through a vent shaft  think judge dredd  which he can only go in  and not out off  and proceeds to try to rescue those trapped inside  so begins the fun  but the fun has to be quick  because this tunnel has started to spring a leak  the acting is about what you would expect of a stallone movie  not superb by any means  but far above some of his other films  think judge dredd again   daylights acting is probably average  or a little above  in terms of this sort of genre  starring this particular star  amy brenneman is the only actor of any note  and she does a pretty good job as stallones reluctant helper  oh yeah  stallones real life son  sage  is in this too  sage  nice name  i guess it could be worse  he could have been named nutmeg or parsley  note to sage  you are still young  go to school and get a good education  you dont have a future in acting  the plot runs along the same lines as the acting  interesting  but predictable  mostly due to the fact that it was pretty well recycled from a dozen other action flicks  the biggest problem with a film of this nature is that they try to cram too many things into the movie  as soon as the cast clears one seemingly impossible hurdle  another one seems to pop right up  even worse than the last one  i realize that it wouldnt be much of a movie otherwise  but it does make the movie a bit predictable  adding to the predictability is the cast of characters  which of course  has to include at least one or two difficult people who want to do things their own way and think the qualified guy  in this case stallone  doesnt know what he is doing  why is it in disaster movies we can never have everyone agree with each other and all work together  would this be too much to ask  cant we all just get along  special effects werent bad  but ive certainly seen better  some of the scenes  while fun to watch  were such blatant ripoffs that you had to wonder if scripts from old movies were just copied verbatim  especially all of the scenes that involved anything underwater  the tunnel  of course  starts to flood   i really expected gene hackman  roddy mcdowell and ernest borgnine to appear at any minute  i wasnt sure if i was watching daylight or the poseidon adventure  i suppose if you have to rip off a movie for good ideas  the poseidon adventure is a good one to use  the underwater sequences  aside from the deja vu  were very well shot and worked fairly well  they were the best part of the movie by a long shot  better than average stallone flick  i realize thats not saying much when the man has judge dredd on his resume  but certainly not up to the standards of cliffhanger  daylight is a fun movie  and as long as you arent expecting a whole lot you might even be pleasantly surprised  
pos	after the simple looking little spacecraft lands in a automobile wrecking yard  out steps a steelgray  humanlike creature with aquamarine eyes and clad in a muscular suit  spencer  the boy who observes this  having seen his fill of science fiction flicks  figures this thing must be a robot from outer space  with the exception of disney and a few others  most studios view childrens films as a way to ship a cheap and unimaginative product and thereby make a quick profit  star kid stands out as that rare kids film that is undoubtedly lowbudget but is also highly imaginative  remember  the robot  it wasnt one at all but rather a  phase one assault cyborsuit   the cyborsuit is actually a prototype combat enhancer developed by the trelkins and jettisoned for latter retrieval when they are under attack from the invading broodwarriors  the significant twist in the story is that spencer gets to go inside the cyborsuit  and the cyborsuit  nicknamed cy  has plenty of spunk  cy keeps questioning the kid about everything including words like  cool   upon hearing that  command   cy starts rapidly decreasing the temperature in the cyborsuit until spencer screams for him to stop  and when cy speaks  we see spencers view  the backside of cys lips and eyes  as 12yearold spencer  joseph mazzello from the jurassic park film series gives a remarkably good performance as a wimpy and initially tonguetied kid  even when enclosed in his powerful new cyborsuit  he has his fears but he learns to overcome them   if you run away  things dont get better  whether its bullies  spiders  or girls   his science teacher advises him after he has difficulties dealing with all three  turbo  joey simmrin   the schools chubby bully  beats up on him  spiders frighten him  and  most embarrassing of all  he cant speak when in the presence of his wouldbe girlfriend  with his cyborsuit on  he learns some bravery that transcends his time inside cy  spencer lives with his dad and his older teenage sister stacey  played by a smartmouthed ashlee levitch  who looks like a younger sarah jessica parker  stacey derides her brother  whom she barely tolerates  by referring to him only as  the fungus   this whole setup for spencers downtrodden and delightfully funny life makes his acquisition of some superhuman powers a source of mirth and empowerment  the beauty of mazzellos performance is that you can vicariously experience his fear and share in his enjoyment when he goes after the bully to teach him a lesson hell not soon forget  the ensuing mayhem has some of the home alone antics  but the slapstick is kept tightly under control by writer and director manny coto so that one never feels embarrassed to be laughing  the romantic angle is handled ever so delicately  when cy wishes to know if spencer wants to mate with the object of his desire  michelle  lauren eckstrom   his eyes open wide in revulsion   mate with her   spencer exclaims   pllllleeeeease  i just like her thats all   the show has many funny twists  in one  cy sees a man in a barneylike costume and begins firing at him  thinking he is an alien lifeform  soon things get way out of hand  and cy and spencer have to beat a hasty retreat  as proof positive of the shows class  it actually contains tasteful bathroom humor  thought that was an oxymoron in a kids picture  didnt you  cy cannot allow spencer to leave the cyborsuit  and what happens when he needs to urinate becomes both sweet and hilarious  the directors staging of this sequence is one of the films more charming moments  oh  and eating is pretty funny too  spencer  whose idol is the comic book character  midknight warrior   gets to face the challenge of a lifetime when a broodwarrior comes to capture the cyborsuit  spencers valiant battle gives him a chance to find his mettle  and the action sequences in the battle manage to be quite respectable for a kids show full of inventiveness and lacking the usual repetition  for a family movie mixing humor  fantasy  and action  star kid delivers  although its probably not the sort of movie youd want to see without kids  with them youll have a magical time with a relatively straightforward but well developed story  youll be rooting for and laughing with spencer and his buddy cy all the way through  star kid runs 1  41  it is rated pg for fantasy combat  although the basically cartoonish broodwarrior might scare the littlest kids  i saw none of this in evidence in our packed screening  so i would say the show is fine for kids five and up  and possibly the younger ones  my son jeffrey  age 8  got really excited about the picture  he called it  an especially good movie  and gave it      when i asked him to tell me his favorite characters  he mentioned almost everyone in it from the boy to the cyborsuit to the bully  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  like its own opening shot  from out of the darkness boogie nights triumphantly explodes upon the film scene with stunning authority and clarity  persuasively heralding its helmer paul thomas anderson as a bonafide major talent  a sprawling epic set in the heart of the disco era and focused upon the ascension and decline of a troupe in the adult film industry  boogie nights is an astonishingly ambitious feature film which is completely effective both as an utterly entertaining joyride and as a strikingly impressive piece of filmmaking  the film follows a softspoken young man  eddie adams  mark wahlberg  from torrance  through his induction into the erotic picture business to stardom  and later  to a harrowingly precipitous drop  as boogie nights opens  hes toiling as a dishwasher in a trendy san fernando valley nightclub  and living at home under the thumb of a tyrannical mother who denigrates him at every opportunity  recruited by fatherly jack horner  a rejuvenated burt reynolds   a successful porn filmmaker  eddie abandons his old life in favour of a new one as dirk diggler  pornstar  wholeheartedly embraced by jacks troupe  including the maternal amber waves  julianne moore   reed rothchild  john c  reilly   buck swope  don cheadle   rollergirl  heather graham   dirk and his  one special thing  are quickly propelled to the top of his field  fulfilling his mantra of being a  big bright shining star   his lack of discipline  however  incites a chain of circumstances which sees dirk and his friends unravel as a new decade is ushered in  the element of boogie nights which literally commands attention is the bravura direction by mr  anderson  whose fascination and prowess with the camera is obvious  from the terrific tracking shot throughout a nightclub which opens the film and introduces the players through to the showy sequence in the camera follows a female partygoer diving into a pool  mr  andersons accomplished command of the camera is without question  while novice directors often demonstrate an unfortunate lack of restraint in terms of flamboyant camerawork which ultimately proves to be aggravating  impertinent and selfcongratulatory  case in point  marc roccos unforgettable perpetualmotion helming of murder in the first   in boogie nights every zoom or pan by mr  anderson  be it slow and deliberate or energetically sharp  is purposeful and potent  its a rarity and a delight to discover such a confidently assured work so early in a filmmakers career  boogie nights is only his second feature film  following up his debut feature from earlier this year  hard eight  and although its somewhat derivative  his storytelling style is reminiscent of robert altman  while in terms of visuals hes clearly influenced by martin scorsese   at least hes borrowing from some of the best  and its entirely effective within the context of this film  while boogie nights is astonishingly polished from a technical perspective  in terms of sheer entertainment value its also rollicking good fun  with a wickedly deadpan sense of humour  the film perfectly captures the essence of the disco period in terms of music  clothes  hairstyles  dance  idioms  and culture  aided immeasurably by impeccable production design by bob ziembicki and costume design by mark bridges  and boogie nights convincingly catapults the audience back to this recent  preaidsscare period in american history where uninhibited  freewheeling lifestyles abounded  while much of the films humour pertains to the characters obliviousness of nowoutdated aspects of their lives then prevalent in society  a prime example is parttime salesman buck swopes demo of a stereo system with an eighttrack tape  and inviting a prospective customer to get freaky deaky with the music  its elicited with an undercurrent not of ridicule  but of wistful reminiscence  and some the throwback elements in the film are strangely wondrous  a giant ensemble disco dance production number in a nightclub is funny  to be sure  but oddly magical  and the sequence which lovingly explores eddiedirks bedroom  completely adorned with posters and elements of iconic 1970s figures  farrah fawcett  cheryl tiegs  bruce lee  is breathtaking  ably supported by a wellselected collection of period music  all of which purportedly came straight from mr  andersons personal collection   theres a clear affection for the era in boogie nights  its the period aspect and the playfully comic nostaligism of boogie nights which has been played up in its marketing campaign in deference of the pornography element of the storyline  the films promotional trailer markedly avoids any explicit reference to the adult film industry which unites its characters  after the debacle with 1996s milos forman film  the people vs  larry flynt  another finelycrafted work which was knocked off the market prematurely due to controversy regarding its pornographyrelated storyline  the new line marketing team faced a unique challenge with boogie nights in terms of attempting to deemphasize the relatively risque erotic picture element of the story in order to increase salability to the general public  however  while boogie nights delves into the world of the adult film industry of two decades ago  its hardly a lurid or seamy film  given the subject matter  theres very little nudity  and virtually none of it can be construed as gratuitous  and boogie nights smartly depicts erotic filmmaking not as a hotbed of carnality  but simply as a business  the glimpses on the sets of jack horners shoots reveal that while the films he makes are intended to titillate  theres a candid matteroffactness in terms of sex  his cast and crew are professionals who are merely doing a job  and its refreshing that the obvious cliches of depravity and sinful lechery often linked to dismissive portraits of adult filmmaking  such as coercion or debauchery  are avoided  if anything  boogie nights is more interested in the process of adult filmmaking than the adult films themselves  jack horners dream is an honourable one  he genuinely aspires to make a great film  and to some degree boogie nights is reminiscent of ed wood  albeit lacking a certain wistful innocence   in both films  the world of quickie lowbudget filmmaking is explored  and both jack horner and the version of ed wood by tim burton  scott alexander  and larry karaszewski share similar mindsets  jacks retort of  there are shadows in light  baby  to his cinematographers complaint about poor set lighting echoes back to ed woods  its not about the little details  its about the big picture   rant when it is pointed out that his graveyard set for plan 9 from outer space appears patently false  in boogie nights and ed wood  the aspirations of the respective filmmakers prove to be bemusing  not in their intentions  theres nothing inherently silly in the goal of making an artistic erotic picture  but in the degree that they miss the mark  much like the humour lacing ed wood  the laughs involving jack horner are doubleedged  after viewing a hilarious excerpt from one of his latest films which hybridizes the james bond and porn genres  when jack breathes  this is the best work ive ever done   its genuinely funny  but given his utter sincerity  also possesses a tinge of sadness  mr  anderson is at this point clearly a greater talent as a director than a screenwriter  while boogie nights shows great inventiveness in staging  there really isnt any clever dialogue in the film  though a valid point certainly can be made that none of the films characters particularly lend themselves to thoughtful verbal exchanges  when one considers that the films  protagonist  literally doesnt say a single insightful thing throughout the entire 152 minute running time  its no wonder why the playfully inane  how much can you bench   banter between dirk and reed constitutes one of the films finest exchanges  and while mr  anderson creates a rich collection of fascinating characters  its problematic that some of the the threads given to the films characters are simply stale material  julianne moores child custody battle is fairly cliched stuff  better suited for a less risque and uninspired tvmovie version of her characters story  and far less interesting than the thread dealing with her woefully hackneyed filmmaking ambitions  still  even if he doesnt always know what to do with his characters  mr  anderson most definitely captures their essences  and his resolutely nonjudgemental affection for them is infectious  misguided  even aimless  hopelessly naive  selfdestructive  insufferable  i loved them just the same  in any case  its hard to pick nits with a screenplay which contains one of the most audacious and inspired  and ultimately bestexecuted  scenes of the year  a scene where dirk diggler and reed rothchild are dragged along by their loosecannon compadre to the home of drug baron rahad jackson  a mesmerizing alfred molina in an unforgettable performance  even if its a small one  in a suicidal drug deal scam  only to find that the millionaire is a crazed eccentric  the part where he stops the deal to listen to the crescendo of night rangers  sister christian  on his stereo system is sheer brilliance  flanked by an armed bodyguard  if this scene already wasnt tense enough with these elements  mr  anderson introduces a chinese boy that wanders through the scene  who for no discernable reason is tossing firecrackers around the room  pushing the scene to a new  surreal level of delightful giddiness  there are some other interesting touches in boogie nights  mr  anderson recycles the use of long methodical chimes on the soundtrack from hard eight  here  it accompanies the violent intercut sequences which depict the prostration of various characters to frightening effect  similarly  a painful scene where crew member scotty j  philip seymour hoffman  breaks down in tears in the drivers seat  sobbing  im so stupid  after being rebuffed by dirk after an awkward but heartfelt advance is strikingly played out exactly as a later scene with dirk in the drivers seat after a particularly tumultuous and traumatic evening  boogie nights is exceedingly well cast  and each of the actors rise to the occasion  the ensemble cast is uniformly good  while most of the acting accolades will no doubt go to mr  wahlberg  fulfilling upon the sparks of promise he demonstrated in some of his earlier films  and mr  reynolds  terrific as the father figure and stable anchor of the film  ringing true in every respect   a handful of other performances which might otherwise be overlooked deem mention  mr  reilly demonstrates here  as he did for brief glimpses in ulu grosbards georgia  a genuine aptitude for comedy  many of his scenes in boogie nights are among the very funniest in the film  im not sure how much of his performance as reed was scripted and how much was done on the spot  but he plays the quintessential second banana character to a tee  mr  reilly is the best part of the big disco dance production number  and its wickedly funny to watch his reed join in with dirk after the fact in threatening the new stud on the block during a macho altercation  worth the price of admission alone is the glimpse of him getting down in the recording studio while the dirk character is laying down a numbingly bad  and deadon period  it sure sounds like bad early 1980s to me  demo track  you got the touch  in a vain attempt at a musical career  mr  reilly plays his vacant character with utter conviction which is convincing and effective  ms  graham  with her long dirty blonde hair  innocent demeanour  and huge hazel eyes  looks like a disney animated heroine come to life  or in this case  a disney animated heroine who came to life  made a wrong turn  and ended up on the new line lot in a film focused on the late 70s  early 80s adult film industry  consequently  its a bit incongruous to see this cheery sweetfaced starlet whizzing about the set on her roller skates  but in a scene where shes lounging in a limousine prowling the streets  garish red lipstick messily smeared on  giving the camera a hilariously pouty comehither look  all one can do is gulp  her role in the film sadly needs more fleshing out  err  in a figurative sense   shes essentially a glorified extra  but she does score impressively in her key scene which is unnerving in its sheer primal ferocity   if only mr  anderson had filmed the scene so that we could actually see the expression of rage and anguish on her face  though   and a cautionary tale for the strict and prudish  as a teen  ms  grahams parents forbade her to take a part in the twisted cult classic heathers  since then  her most notable roles have been as a junkie  gus van sants drugstore cowboy  and now a porn starlet  draw your own conclusions  perhaps the most quietly touching performance in boogie nights is that of mr  cheadle  who lends dignity to his role as a character in search of his identity  and whose quest is comically manifested by a series of changes in his sense of fashion  his relationship with his cheerfully supportive new wife jessie st  vincent  an interesting melora walters  is wholly compelling has genuine sweetness  and although his general longing for acceptance from others is perceptible  its no more so than in the bank scene where his loan application to open a stereo store is rejected due to his background in the porn industry  while the scenario is familiar  the wounded look in cheadles eyes makes the scene unforgettable  luis guzmans most famous work is possibly in brian de palmas carlitos way  and here he plays a variation on the same character  maurice t  rodriguez is a hapless but goodnatured nightclub owner whos a hangeron to jacks group  ingratiating himself into the clique and constantly hounding jack  with little disguise made of his desperation  for a part in one of his erotic pictures  jacks eventual acquiescence to maurices request leads to one of boogie nights biggest comic payoffs  boogie nights is a stunning achievement due to the virtuoso direction by mr  anderson  who immediately asserts his presence in the film industry as a presence of note with this work  striking a fine balance between humour and drama  and exceptionally wellcrafted  theres no doubt that boogie nights is among the very best films of the year  
pos	bruce willis and sixth sense director m  night shyamalan reteam to tell the story of david dunne  willis   a stadium security guard who has been having some problems at home that are affecting his relationship with his wife and child  on a return trip from new york where he was trying to get a job  dunne is in a horrible train accident that he is the only survivor of  to make things even stranger  dunne has also escaped the accident completely unscathed  a comic book art dealer named elijah price  samuel l  jackson   who was born with a degenerative bone disease that causes his bones to be so brittle that they break constantly  has been seeking out someone like dunne his entire life  price felt that there had to be someone exactly the opposite of him    someone whose bones would be so strong that they would never break  price contacts dunne and convinces him to come down to his gallery for a talk where he suggests that dunne could quite possibly be something akin to a superhero from the comic books price used to read when he was a child  dunne doesnt believe him at first  but price assists him in discovering his  powers  and helps him hone his craft until he discovers what his true calling really is  writerdirector m  night shyamalan had a tough act to follow with his sleeper hit the sixth sense  how exactly does one follow up on one of the biggest and most popular thrillers in recent years  for shyamalan  the answer must have come as easy to him as nuclear physics does to kindergartners  does this new film measure up to his breakthrough box office smash  though  the answer to that question is not a very easy one  either  as far as pacing goes  the sixth sense seemed almost interminable  it wasnt until the surprise ending was revealed that i realized the film was actually intentionally  and perfectly  paced in order to give the audience ample time to reconnect all of the information they had seen once the climax had been reached  for unbreakable  shyamalan gave the film a much more satisfying pace which  in many ways  blows away the film that had come before  the story moves along at a steady pace and shyamalans direction is excellent  with the camera almost constantly moving  there are tons of great shots in the film  not least of which is a conversation that opens the film between willis character and another train passenger  the shot seems as though it were filmed like we were watching the two talk from between the train seats and the camera steadily glides back and forth between the two actors as they speak  also very impressive is the films score by james newton howard  who also scored shyamalans sixth sense and the similar film stir of echoes  as well as this years dinosaur   several of the scenes are driven by a very catchy beat and help to increase the tempo of the film  one of the best examples of this is a scene in which dunne goes into a train station to  exercise  his powers  the music  in combination with the stellar visuals  really go a long way towards making this an incredible movie  if there was any one soundtrack i would make a must purchase this year  this one would be it  the film also boasts some great performances  including a precocious child actor trying to vie for the oscar throne left vacant by haley joel osment  willis turns in a great performance as the sad sack dunne  who just cant seem to figure out why hes been depressed for the last few years  his character almost seems pathetic when we first meet him  but he eventually grows into his own under elijahs tutelage  jackson is one of the better actors of our time  and here he turns in yet another great performance as the ever injured elijah  though his hairstyle is absurd  jackson seems to infuse such a great deal of pain into his role that the mortar board hairdo can easily be overlooked  robin wright penns role seems slightly underwritten  but she still manages to get across the intense hurt of her characters need for love from her husband and her desire to make things work again  spencer treat clark  as the dunnes young son jeremy  shows that shyamalan still has a knack for picking young actors  and he turns in one of the most competent performances in the film  out of all the characters  jeremys is perhaps the most emotional  and clark does a great job with the role  where the film does lose points though  is during its  surprise  ending  shyamalan has said in interviews that he was going to do an ending that blew away the one presented by the sixth sense  but i found myself saying  that was it    when unbreakable revealed its own ending  its not that the ending is bad  its just that the ending doesnt quite have the emotional punch that the other films did  plus  it almost seems like it sets itself up for sequels  and i wont reveal the ending here  but youll understand what i mean when you see it   essentially  what all of this means is that shyamalan has made another good film with unbreakable  the only real problem is that the ending doesnt quite fill the shadow left by its predecessor  as long as it isnt held to the standard that sixth sense set  which it ultimately will be   it should be a remarkably well liked film  one thing seems clear  though  shyamalan definitely has an affinity for comic books that he would like to share with the world and many comic book fans will also delight the vision he presents in this film  
pos	theres good news and bad news about mulan  the positive is that disney has found a happy medium between the heavyhandedness of pocahontas and the hunchback of notre dame and the childishness of hercules  on the other hand  the studio is pulling out all the stops on plot cliches and cheap laughs  several steps down from the days of the little mermaid and beauty and the beast  but mulan is a step in the right direction and disneys best animated feature since the lion king  after giving native americans a turn in pocahontas  disney has decided to turn a movie over to the asians  mulan is set in feudal china and features the everpopular heroine who marches to a different drum and wants to do more with her life than get married  thats what we find out when young mulan  voice of ming na wen  screws up her appointment with the matchmaker by letting a rogue cricket splash coffee all over her  cartoons    meanwhile  word comes from the emporer that one man from every family must join the army and help fight the huns  since mulans a girl  that means her decrepit old father must go  she pleads with the soldiers to have mercy on dear old dad  but that kind of groveling and desperation brings shame on her family  thats chinese culture for you    so imagine how embarrassed the family is the next day when they find mulan has stolen her fathers uniform and sword and run off to join the army in his place  the movie in a nutshell is about the stuggles of being a woman in the army  it should have been called g  i  chang  mulan calls on her ancestors for help  they decide to summon the large stone dragon in the backyard to protect her  but a mini dragon named mushu screws it up  voiced by eddie murphy  mushu continues the tradition of cute talking animal sidekicks who do more slapstick harm than good for their human charges  murphys performance is a direct descendent of robin williams in aladdin  lots of wisecracks and adlibs and even an introductory song about how much fun theyre going to have  you aint never had a friend like mushu  speaking of songs  mulan doesnt have too many of them  which is a plus with a story like this  disney songs about war probably wouldnt go over too well   heigh ho  heigh ho  its off to war i go       and the ones they do have arent memorable  the best of the bunch  sad to say  is  be a man   the requisite basic training montage song  yes  even in medieval china  they had to run through that web of car tires before they were ready for battle  sung by donnie osmond  a bad sign if ever there was one    be a man  accompanies footage of mulans platoon going from screwups to heroes  it makes me wonder  has there ever been a musical montage in a movie thats ended badly  i only wish reallife problems could be solved in two minutes with a peppy montage  for the curious  mulan does pass for a man in the army despite looking like a girl  all she does to transform herself is cut her hair to a sexy shoulderlength  talk macho and slap guys on the butt  as was male custom a thousand years ago in china  the deception fools everyone but the audience  who thinks she might be able to pass for a 12yearold boy  at best  but she does manage to strike the biggest blows to the hun army  led by a big  evileyed attillalooking monster  as a villain  the head of the huns is menacing  evil and entirely forgettable  i saw the movie yesterday and i dont remember the mans name  otherwise  mulan is a good movie  the animation of the characters themselves isnt as rich as it could and should be  but there are some amazing battlefield shots  eddie murphy pulls off some good oneliners  as do other star voices like harvey fierstein and pat morita  the quintessential asian movie star  hell  george  mr  sulu  takei does a voice in mulan  you get the sense disney said to themselves   alright  lets get out there and find us some chinese americans in hollywood  who can you think of    well  theres mr  myagi      good    and mr  sulu    perfect  weve got ourselves a movie now   soon disney really will be able to paint with all the colors of the wind  
pos	harmless  silly and fun comedy about dimwitted wrestling fans gordie and sean  david arquette and scott caan  who idolize current world championship wrestling heavyweight champion jimmy king  oliver platt   when king is screwed out of his title by a corrupt promoter  joe pantoliano   gordie and sean take it upon themselves to find their fallen hero and restore his glory  my biggest fear about ready to rumble was dispatched early on  as the filmmakers are quick to show that wresting is indeed choreographed  but not fake  mind you   the hook of the movie is that gordie and sean are just too stupid to realize that  arquette and caan are suitably over the top with their performances  which is exactly what a movie like this requires  and oliver platt  one of my favorite actors  is a riot as the drunken washedup exchampion  many have scoffed at the idea that platt should be playing a heavyweight champion wrestler with an unbeaten record  but for me it just added to the  silly factor  of the film  thereby increasing my enjoyment of it  one casting complaint however  rose mcgowan as a sexy dancer  please    if rose mcgowan is sexy then im marilyn manson  given the current state of the actual wcw  if oliver platt were appearing as jimmy king right now on wcw programming  hed be the most popular guy they have  on a similar note  the  plot line  of the wresting portions of the film are more entertaining than anything the wcw writers have been able to come up with in the last two years  although one does have to ask    why would any wrestling promoter fire the head wrestler of a company who is both unbeaten and extremely popular with the fans  director brian robbins  youll remember him as eric from tvs  head of the class   just knows how to make good dumb movies  this movie fits in nicely with his previous efforts good burger and varsity blues  and screenwriter steven brill  the epic mighty ducks trilogy  late last night  manages to keep things both sophomoric and clever at the same time  with almost all the jokes of the film getting a laugh out of me  the only exceptions to that were  1  a scene involving a van full of singing nuns and 2  any scene involving the old woman wrestling fan  those moments made me cringe andor groan  as an added bonus though  the audience is treated to outtakes from the film as the final credits roll  pg13 
pos	steven spielberg is now considered as one of the hollywood deities  because of the rare capability to deliver both huge commercial hits  like jurassic park  and  oscar  awarded critical triumphs like schindlers list  however  in the 1970s spielberg built his reputation by creating works of art that could slip in both categories  one of them is close encounters of the third kind  extremely popular and influential sciencefiction spectacle  unfortunately  it had a bad luck to be released in the same year as star wars  although both films have a lot in common  groundbreaking special effects  brilliant score by john williams  their future was different  one became an unstoppable cult phenomenon  and another almost forgotten and stuck forever in its shadow  when spielberg began work on that project  he was already established as a bright new hollywood star due to his previous commercial hit  jaws  together with other young directors of his  new hollywood  generation  like kauffman  carpenter  hill and millius  he exploited the great creative freedom of 1970s  when even the mainstream producers dared to experiment  ironically  it was spielberg himself whose later commercial success would established new unwritten rules of  blockubuster  philosophy  but in the mid 1970s  many things were different  spielberg was young and eager to use hollywood resources for his very personal and artistic movie  although very personal  spielbergs screenplay was partly based on the book  ufo experience  by dr  j  allen hynek and in many ways inspired by the popular urban mythology of extraterrestrial visitors to earth that began to grow in the world after ww2  spielberg was not only inspired by the mythology  but his movie also gave the mythology itself a huge boost  unmatched until the contemporary era of xfiles and the roswell anniversary  that was partly because he made the movie very realistic using the authentic uforelated incidents as the element of the plot  the story begins with one of such incidents  team of international scientists come to the sonorra desert in mexico to find the u  s  navy planes of who went missing decades ago during the famous flight 19  such events coincide with the ufo incident witnessed by roy neary  richard dreyfuss   power company worker from muncie  indiana  who later becomes obsessed with his experience  because of his obsession he loses his job  family and sanity  but his loss is nothing compared to the experience of jillian guiler  melinda dillon   single mother whose son becomes the victim of alien abduction  in the meantime  the scientists decipher the strange signals from outer space and u  s  government  in cooperation with the french  led by lacombe  francois truffaut  begin with the preparation for ultrasecret project  when the news of the poison gas leak in the middle of wyoming reach neary  he finally sees some sense in all his visions and begins the perilous journey toward the centre of endangered area  there he is joined by jillian who shared the similar visions  two of them must break through military pickets and reach their destination to find whatever is there  spielberg here shows great mastery by using the very same techniques of jaws to make completely different effects  the slow  gradual yet very disciplined series of dramatic incidents   close encounters   is set in order to bring the viewer to the great revelation in the finale  but  instead of the fear and horror we had to endure during the jaws  we are now overwhelmed by the sense of boyish wonder  throughout the movie the viewer knows that something big  magnificent and wonderful is about to happen  and great magician spielberg delivers his promise in the end  the last sequence  with its  even in this age  impressive special effects by the great virtuoso douglas trumbull  would leave many mouths open  one of the great virtues of this film is its optimism  aliens  who almost always get portrayed as the monsters in sciencefiction cinema  are here benevolent and harmless creatures and the first contact between them and humanity is a beginning of something wonderful  it is very ironic  when we consider that the two classic sf movies that visually inspired spielberg actually told quite different story  howard hawks thing and byron haskins war of the worlds presented extraterrestrials as the threat to the mankind  spielbergs humane approach and faith in the future also lies in great contrast to the pessimistic mood of its era  the only hint of the contemporary gloom is postwatergate portrayal of government as conspiratorial towards the public  but  even such government is much more harmless compared to the murderous and chainsmoking men in black that became the stereotype thanks to xfiles and its more cynical and disturbing visions  there lies the main  and probably the only flaw of this great picture  lack of conflict  and consequently  lack of drama  the movie has few excitements or even action scenes  especially the last that may be an interesting homage to hitchcocks north by northwest  but generally  almost everyone  neary  jillian  government  aliens  are the good guys  despite such shortcomings  the actors were good and manage to bring multidimensionality to their simple roles  richard dreyfuss is very convincing as a ordinary  yet nice guy  who sinks into insanity only to rediscover himself in a grand finale  melinda dillon was  on the other hand  nominated for  oscar  as a struggling mother  yet she was overshadowed by teri garr as nearys longsuffering wife ronnie  apart from visual wonders of this film  spielbergs semiofficial composer john williams again excels by his beautiful music  this time using the simple melody both as the element of a plot  and as the basis for his score  the aliens  who are the main subject of this film  were visually very convincing  too convincing  one of my acquaintances in the uforesearching circles said  according to him  the depiction of extraterrestrials as greyskinned little people with big eyes was so accurate  that it managed to freak out powerful government figures interested in suppressing the truth about ufos  so  they later approached spielberg and ordered him to make another movie with alien  this time designed to be anything but the real life  the result was e  t   for many years the biggest commercial hit of all times  yet less inspirational for ufo enthusiasts  anyway  whether the viewer believes in existence of extraterrestrials or ufos  close encounters of the third kind remains the great movie  and one of the rare uplifting experiences in modern cinema  
pos	with the exception of their surrealistic satire barton fink  the films of joel and ethan coen fit into two broad categories  quirky and sometimes darkly humorous takes on the  film noir  genre in which crime schemes go wrong and spin increasingly out of control  fargo  millers crossing  blood simple   and offthewall comedies centered around an eccentric  scatterbrained lead character  raising arizona  the hudsucker proxy   their latest offering  the big lebowski  falls within the latter category  though there are elements of the crimegonewrong theme and even a touch of satire to be found in this film  the main difference  however  is that while the protagonists of raising arizona and the hudsucker proxy had lofty aspirations and ideals but didnt quite have the brains to get it all together  the main character of the big lebowski seems like a fairly intelligent guy whos wise to the world  but he doesnt really want to do much of anything besides go bowling  smoke pot  and generally relax  that main character is jeffrey  the dude  lebowski  jeff bridges   introduced by the films rambling narrator  sam elliott  as  quite possibly the laziest man in los angeles county   the dude is unemployed  needless to say  and spends most of his time at the bowling alley with his two best friends  walter  john goodman   a borderlinepsychotic whos in the habit of pulling a gun when he thinks somebodys cheating in a bowling match   has the whole world gone crazy    he shouts at a suspected cheater   and donny  steve buscemi   whos always a few steps behind the conversation and is constantly berated by walter for it   donny  you have no frame of reference here     these three seem to more or less live for bowling tournaments  and as the film begins they are anticipating an important match with rival bowler jesus quintana  john turturro   who  when we first meet him  is doing a dance in the bowling lane to accompany a spanish version of  hotel california  and  if its possible  seems to be even more of a head case than walter  if that doesnt give you a good idea of this films absurdist tone  then perhaps this will  the entire scenario which drives the story is set in motion by two thugs mistakenly urinating on the dudes rug  theyve mistaken him for a millionaire of the same name who is also known as the  big  lebowski  david huddleston  and whose nymphomaniac wife bunny  tara reid  owes money to porn producer jackie treehorn  ben gazzara   the dude goes to the big lebowski seeking compensation for his ruined rug  he doesnt have any luck  but when bunny is apparently kidnapped  the elder lebowski asks him to deliver the 1 million ransom  unfortunately  walter gets involved and fouls up the dropoff  and before they can try again to get the money to the supposed kidnappers  the dudes car gets stolen  along with the briefcase containing the money  soon  the dude is being harassed not only by the big lebowski himself but also by treehorn and by a group of german  nihilists  who demand the ransom money even though they may not have been involved in the kidnapping in the first place  the dude and walter suspect that bunny may well have kidnapped herself in order to extort money from her husband to repay her debts to treehorn  meanwhile  the big lebowskis daughter maude  julianne moore   a feminist avantgarde artist who likes to make grand entrances swinging through the air naked  wants to recover the money for her family  the plot  however  is really just a vehicle for all these bizarre characters to run wild and wreak their own unique forms of havoc  the previews for the big lebowski feature creedence clearwater revivals  run through the jungle   and it fits  the coens see los angeles as a veritable jungle of oddballs and nutcases  with the sometimes bewildered dude left to run through it and try to avoid any more trouble  usually unsuccessfully   the film doesnt feature quite as many oneliners and sight gags as the coens other comedies  though there are a few hilarious moments of visual humor  particularly in the dudes dream sequences and acid flashbacks   but it more than makes up for it with the sheer fun of watching these strange characters interact  the film sometimes seems a little disjointed as a result  you get the feeling that the coens have not only set their characters loose in this  jungle  but are also themselves running crazy through the jungle of their own twisted imaginations  but for the most part the characterizations are interesting enough to overcome the shaky plotting and what turns out to be a somewhat anticlimactic resolution  theres also a noticeable  but not too heavyhanded  thread of social commentary in the big lebowski  which  incidentally  takes place just as the gulf war is about to begin  at the beginning  we see george bush on television making his  this aggression will not stand  speech  the coens take aim at just about every elite l  a  subculture in the book  the egotistical wealthy businessman   the bums will always lose   shouts the big lebowski at one point   the porn industry  the overbearing malibu policeman who berates the dude for disturbing their  peaceful beach community   and so on  by the end  we really start to admire the dude  who almost certainly harbors the least  aggression  of anyone in this story  his passive resistance  emphasis on  passive   albeit  to the elite emerges as something more than just another quirky characterization in a film overflowing with quirky characters  he also turns out to have a pretty wellfunctioning brain in his head  even if he doesnt like to use it very much  his sarcasm towards treehorn and the malibu policeman shows that he knows when hes getting a run around  and he does manage to unravel the kidnapping mystery by the end  the coens certainly poke fun at the dude for his laziness  but they dont just treat him as fodder for cheap shots either  i think that  more than anything  is what makes the big lebowski a standout comedy  it manages to approach characters like the dude and  to some extent  walter  with genuine affection while still acknowledging that they are pretty scatterbrained  audience members may find themselves surprised at how much they like the undynamic duo by the end of the movie  given that they seemed like nothing more than the butts of an extended joke at first   its good knowin hes out there  the dude  takin it easy   posits the narrator towards the end  i dare say that truer words have seldom been spoken  
pos	 the endurance  shackletons legendary antarctic expedition  in 1914  as the great war descended upon europe  sir ernest shackleton began his third expedition to antarctica  this time to be the first to cross the icebound continent on foot  28 men set sail on the brigantine endurance and they would not be heard from again for nearly two years  director george butler  using film footage and photographs from the historic journey  tells their remarkable story in  the endurance  shackletons legendary antarctic expedition   the expedition started out as a merely incredibly difficult quest to traverse  on foot  the vast wasteland of antarctica  as the intrepid ship and crew entered the weddell sea  the entry to the cold  cruel continent  they did not plan on the dense pack ice bringing the voyage to an abrupt halt as the endurance became trapped within sight of land  for months the ice thickened and compressed until the ship was crushed  stranding the men on the flow  propelling them away from their goal and  eventually  into their lifeboats for safety  shackleton  faced with a desolate situation  made the decision to lead the three tiny boats to the relative safety of uninhabited elephant island  once on this  safe  haven  shackleton next turned his sights to saving his crew and returning them to civilization  he and five of his men leave the island in an open boat to make the 800 mile journey on the worlds roughest sea to get help from the nearest inhabited island of south georgia  miraculously  the six land  after 17 days at sea  on the uninhabited side of the target island and are forced to trek across treacherous  snow covered mountains  covering 22 miles in just 36 hours  this ordeal is followed by several attempts by shackleton to get back to elephant island to rescue the remaining crewmen  in the end  he is successful and everyone made it back home alive  only to be swallowed up by the ravages of the war  the title of this fascinating documentary   the endurance   is more than just the name of ship that carried the crew of brave men to the edge of the world  it is also the description of the stamina and ability of every one of the men who survived 19months of the toughest  most grueling conditions on the face of the earth  the name of the film is a tribute to every member of the crew and to the ship that sheltered them for many month of frigid antarctic weather  it also describes the focused mental state of shackleton who never gave up on himself or his men  with astonishing foresight  shackleton brought australian cinematographer and photographer frank hurley along on the journey  the filmed footage and photos are remarkable as they capture the ordeal of the men  day to day life  the affection all felt for their loyal sled dogs  the slow destruction of the endurance and the preparations to get off of the pack ice flow  after the sinking of the ship  the remaining film stock  with the exception of a still camera and three rolls of film  had to be discarded so the continuing chronicle of the incredible journey gets less photo documentation as the ordeal plods on  considering hurley was using relatively primitive photo technology in one of the worlds harshest environments and captured so much on film is a feat unto itself   hurley created his own account of the shackleton expedition in his 1919 documentary   south   an interesting companion piece for  the endurance   if shackletons original idea  document his trek across the frigid southern continent  had been successful  it would have been considered a super human feat  as you watch the story of  the endurance  unfold  you realize that the disastrous obstacles the sir ernest and his men faced and overcame were even greater accomplishments than the first intent   shackletons amazing 800mile journey in an open boat is fodder for a rousing adventure story all by itself   there are a couple of minor nitpicks with this fine work  though  actor liam neeson narrates the story  but his voice is too soft spoken and lilting for the dramatic tale  the nature of the ordeal also concentrates most of the visual material  both film and photo  in the documentarys first half  as the crews adventure takes more drastic paths  hurley had less and less film stock available to chronicle the awesome events  helmer butler and his team fill in the blanks  but the treasure of  the endurance   its film footage  is mostly relegated to the early months of the expedition  i cant think of a truelife adventure that shows  better  the triumph of man over seemingly insurmountable odds   the endurance   based on caroline alexanders book  is an eyeopening documentary that goes where few men have gone before and  even more remarkably  all 28 survivors lived to tell about it  i give it a b  
pos	every yearevery year at the festival  i wait for that film to come along  that one that just pulls me out of my seat  sticks its face up next to my nose  and roars  surprise   into my bewildered visage  its almost always a surprise  it sure as niflheim was this time  amazing grace and chuck is being advertised as a modern fairy tale  of a boy in montana who quits his little league team for a very unusual reason  and  in the hands of anyone less careful than the creative staff of this film  it might very well be nothing more than a fairy tale  where we roll our eyes occasionally  smirk to ourselves  and maybe get a forced tear out of the eyes and a  boy  i wish that could happen  sigh out of the lips upon exiting the theater and tossing the empty pepsi cup into the trash  another e  t  another short circuit  this film floored me  for the simple reason that while it has a fairy tale concept  the rest of the film takes itself seriously enough  and presents itself well enough  to make it more of an american folk tale  with characters who are both icons and real people at the same time  america has always had its mythical heros  its paul bunyans and john waynes  this film presents us with more general  but still universal  ideals  the honest  innocent children who have their own inner wisdom  the athletes who seem to be amalgamations of courage  honor  and love for their respective sport  the venerable elected official who leads with kindness and understanding  but has the grit to get things done when they need doin  does the latter sound familiar    amazing grace and chuck is a showcase for these characters  but it never leaves you with the feeling that its artificial  that it stands behind glass  or that any sharp breezeor  more importantly  sharp thoughtwill shatter the wax facade of the panorama  this is a very sturdy scenario  the principals are always given dialogue  and always give performancesalways  it just blows me away   which made them seem real  yet enforces their particular mythic role  the writerproducer  david field  seems to literally take all the  yeah  but in real life  this would have happen  thoughts you get in your head  sticks them in the movie and uses them to bend the plot around to his original heading  in a stronger way then before  astounding  he uses obstacles to the plot to  enforce  it  i am truly impressed  indeed  envious  with the skill in which he wrote the story and screenplay  its so very unusual  especially in a hollywood film  i dont want to give too much away  but the basic premise is that chuck  joshua zuehlke   the little league pitcher  decides to give up baseball because of nuclear weapons  his decision begins an unlikely series of events that involve another athlete  a boston basketball player  alex english    amazing  grace smith  and  well  im leaving it at that because i wouldnt spoil this film for you for the world  let me just say this  though  i am not recommending this film because i think it has a great message or because of any political positions it might imply  i dont give a rats ass for the political pointofview this film expresses  one way or another  im recommending you go see this film because  and only because  its an excellent story  told with excellence  no  i dont believe what happens in this film could happen in real life  while i tend to believe the arms control policy of this country is stilted  i believe in careful negotiations  mutual verification  etc  screw what i think  the point is  this film is able to suspend my disbelief and tell a story that is one of the most finely crafted pieces of american dream i have ever seen on the movie screen  this is the natural and moreall the mythic qualities without the pretentiousness or the forced feeling of the conclusion  and a much better script to boot  it carried me into the beliefs and ideals of my boyhoodand  more importantly  without any bumps or jolts that would snap me out of the trance with some hint of selfconsciousness  special kudos to  both zuehlke  a reallife little league pitcher who was picked for the part  and english  a forward for the denver nuggets  for their seamless personification of their characters  jamie lee curtis  who takes a surprisingly small role and makes it exceedingly memorable as amazings manager and friend  william l  peterson  in a  big  change from his role in to live and die in l  a   as a father who shows principles without having to stand up and wave a flag doing it  and gregory peck  as the guy we wish ronald reagan really was  and who some numbskulls still probably think he is 
pos	oh god how many john grisham lawyer films we have been munundated with  in a perfect world   a civil action  would be a breath of fresh air  its cynical about lawyers in a way that grisham isnt  its romantic in the exact opposite way a grisham bookfilm isnt  and  the capper  it has no distinct ending  and the law in hollywood films is that above all else  you must have an ending  even if its based on a true story  a true story which hasnt yet ended  you must supply an ending  a false one  but an ending nevertheless  hell   a civil action  is even more sly and more witty than any of the grisham works put together  and that includes  the firm   the only novel of his that will ever be regarded as a classic   yet its also oddly and slightly unsatisfying  weird  this is  in fact  a steve zallian film  not just the work of a hack  and zallian is the director of the muchadmired  search for bobby fischer   didnt see it  and writer of none other than  schindlers list   in short  i like this guy  and am a sucker for the way he tells his stories  after all  apart from the obvious itsaholocaustfilm and itsaspielbergfilm  isnt  schindlers list  just a damn brilliant film  not so much a holocaust film as it is a wonderful character study   a civil action  is the same way  its narrative is split between being a lawyer film and being a character study  and its here that the film seems to go a bit wrong  the main complaint of this film is that while  yes  its an engrossing lawyerly tale  it has no real ending  and thats not necessarily the problem with the film  its that its just kind of unsatisfying  if this were a great film  it would feel complete  and still end basically the same way  but this film just seems to end  and i dont want to be stupid and suggest an alternate ending should be tacked on  imagine  if you will  being one of those the film is about  looking forward to this film  and then discovered the truth has been through a surrealistic and unpleasant hollywood filter  just so the many wont bitch about what is  essentially  genuine  but the fact that it just ends is not  in all actuality  what is wrong with it  its rather that zallian has chosen  in the last half hour  to adandon the traditional lawyer story  and chose the other part of his story  the one about the lawyer  one jan schlictman  john travolta   whos shown in the opening and throughout most of the movie as a heartless but brilliant lawyer  brilliant because hes manipulative and he always wins  it wishes to make it all about jan in the end  but the truth is  his change  although nicely done  is not full  we see him suffering from a personal crisis  and travolta does do a pretty good job in depicting his change of heart  but in the end  we dont fully believe it  and i think that the problem is when he has made his decision  the film choses an odd angle to go at  a noble one  but one that gives the films conclusion that of incompleteness  in the opening of the film  we see him doing his old schtick  manipulating courts  winning cases effortlessly  and then discussing on a heard radio interview how great he is at his job and how much he cares for his cases  in short  hes full of bullshit and we know it  in the film  he takes a case that is hardly desired  a town where several of the children have died mysteriously of lukemia and the source of the illness seems to be from a local factory that may or may not have been dumping waste into the river  point one  its not of the usual criteria  jan points out  wickedly  that dead or wounded children arent nearly as sympathetic as those struck down in the midst of their success   point two  it has been through several lawyers  after turning them down  jan changes his mind  a muddled scene  he stops his car on a bridge  looks out    is he feeling a sense of overachievement    and he and his team of lawyers  tony shalhoub  zeljko ivanek  and accountant william h  macy  head out to the town to do battle with the towns company  they spend millions of dollars examining the land  test the water  what have you  this is where stephen fry  a possible oscar nominee for his brilliant performance in  wilde   pops up thanklessly   and in the meantime question the parents of the dead children  and then  unsuccessfully  the workers at the plant  they also find themselves clashing with a brilliant lawyer for the company  the eccentric jerome facher  played by robert duvall  more on him later on   as we progress  we get so involved in the way the story is being told  which is engulfing everything around it  including the individual and brief stories of some of the townspeople  one of the best is a bit with james gandolfini as an employee of the plant living across the street from kathleen quinland  who lost her child  who begins to have a personal crisis   things begin to go downhill for the lawyers in the second half  as they are up against impossible odds  the judge  john lithgow  is not only a strickler  but a pal of facher  the employees of the plant are either afraid or to loyal to testify  no concrete evidence is being found  depsite the money spent to find it  and they are quickly running out of money  as macy mortgages everything he can  including their homes and their office  he slowly loses his sanity  his meatiest role since  oh   fargo    and we the audience begin to feel a real loss of hope for our protagonist  in fact  the last half hour is such a change from the rest of the film and so unresolved that it has been widely panned as not being up to par  owen gleiberman  especially  criticized the film for not being overlydramatic    i suppose like a grisham novel   this wouldnt be so if the change in jan had not been handled the way it is  instead of having a change of heart and automatically being perceived as good  hes seen as being still full of bullshit  because he doesnt take stock in the cares of his partners  and causes them all to lose their money and noteriaty in the lawyer field because he wants to help the people of the town  he is instead seen as being of good nature but not sure how to bring that out  the final half tries to redeem this  as must have been the point of making this in zallians mind  but what follows is a series of scenes where we merely see him making personal stands for his beliefs  and though he has changed considerably from the opening moments when hes seen speeding back and forth from the town that wishes to employ him  and thusly receiving two speeding tickets   we still feel that the big change in his life is that hes not rich and esteemed anymore  the films final title card is witty but in all actuality shallow   the fault is not that there is no closure to the court case  its still going on  you know   but that its personal story feels like it needs either another chapter or another angle in the final one it has  we need to feel like the character has really made a big change in his life  and that the story is how a story of strife like the one of the town could inspire such a whopping change in his personal life  it only feels like half of that  maybe even less  and its not travolta  who does a great job here  though never to be a truly memorable performance of his   but rather zallian  whose final chapter needs a rewrite  up to then  though  its an engrossing drama  one of the best of the year in fact  and one of the best lawyer films  period  the reason is because it recognizes that a court trial is not about those being defended or prosecuted  but rather its about the lawyers  the knights who battle eachother  we learn that the company is almost positively to blame for the deaths in the town  but the reason it cant be blamed is because it has the best prosecution you can find  and duvalls facher is such a brilliant character and he does such a magnificent job at portraying that man that its almost easy to overlook how subtley great he is  facher is seen as an elderly man  a goofy eccentric  carrying a broken brown bag with stickers on it  eating lunches out of paper bags  and making a point to take time out of his day to listen to the radio  and scold anyone who interupts him  but look deeper and you see a master at work  his evil and manipulative nature are hidden under the eccentricities that others don upon him  and its difficult as hell to clearly generalize him in any way  thats why i liked this film  its hard to put a pointer on  you can never see exactly where this film will land  and even when the credits roll  you still arent sure what to make of it  call it the zallian effect  same thing happened with  schindlers list   not that im comparing oskar schindler to jan schlictman   each film is so greatly crafted that you cant help but get involved in its broad storytelling  interesting characters  and  most peculiarly  the wit that comes along with it  if only it felt totally complete  like  say   schindlers list   though at this point it may be unfair to make comparisons between the two   it might have been one of the best films of the year  and along with that  a full breath of fresh air  
pos	the seasoned capt  dudley smith  james cromwell  questions his new protege  ed exley  guy pearce  about his political views when it comes to police work   would you plant evidence to get a conviction if you knew the person to be guilty  would you shoot a man in the back if you knew that it was the only way to make sure he got what he deserved   exley  squeaky clean  innocent  and pent with the desire to perform his new duties with integrity and honesty quickly answers with a pointed no   stunned  smith pleads   then  for the love of god  dont be a detective   la confidential is a dandy piece of filmmaking that brings us back to the classic times of hollywood in the 50s  organized crime was the biggest concern  corruption existed everywhere  and every cop had his own way of getting the job done  there was  hollywood  jack vincennes  kevin spacey  who gets most of his information from the editor of a sleazy tellallshowall tabloid  sid hudgeons  danny devito   sporting dark sunglasses and a white sports coat  he isnt afraid to flash his tinseltown style  detective bud white  russell crowe  has only a narrowminded view of the law  and he uses excessive force to exact his unique kind of interrogation and brutal justice  and then there is golden boy exley  wideeyed and ambitious but extremely naive  a horrible multiple murder begins to draw these three men together  each of whom become inexorably connected in their search for truth  action  and personal vindication  almost immediately  an arrest is made  but something doesnt seem quite right  new developments become sinuous as the story begins to draw us deeper into the labyrinth of corruption and crime within the department  suspicion and questions begin to mount  odd alliances are created  and as layers of the truth become revealed  the story grows more complex and intriguing by the moment  when the mystery expands  we see other seemingly guilty characters enter the lives of these three cops  including a highpriced hooker  kim basinger  and a shady millionaire  david strathairn   all of the characters levels of involvement are not immediately clear  we watch with riveted fascination to learn more about why they are there and their stake in the case  we sense a crosspollination of clues that brings us  the audience  closer to the truth  we hope that the three detectives can throw away their spite for one another and can pull their resources together in order to untangle the intricately created web of mystery  absorbing and affecting  this movie has all the necessary ingredients to create a terrific gourmet serving of film noir  it boasts mysterious figures in control  doublecrosses  hard information from sleazy sources  dirty politicians  corrupt cops  haunting women  and hardnosed cops experiencing moral ambiguity  the underlying mystery is compelling  the look and feel of the movie is gorgeous  the entire cast is crisp and wonderful to watch  i wouldnt be surprised if cromwell received an oscar nomination for his performance   and  the dialogue is rich and memorable  the best line of the movie is spoken when a key player dispenses advice to one of the detectives unsure of what to do   dont start trying to do the right thing  boyo   says he   you havent had the practice    l  a  confidential triumphantly achieves the rare gift of complexity and coherence while satisfying our desire for a good oldfashioned movie  
pos	aliens   well  that is what this movie is about  computer generated aliens  ok  the movie is not just about computer generated aliens  its about computer generated aliens and a secret organization known as mib  if one wasnt green and running around the other would not exist as its known  the computer graphics in this movie are spectacular  they make you want to believe that aliens like the ones depicted exits  since seeing this movie i have to agree concede that denis rodman is an alien  he simply has to be  well  in all seriousness the aliens created here are not only of the monster variety but are also of the soft  squishy and cuddly kind  just adds something of a lighter note to the movie where it could have become very dark  along with aliens comes the humor and in a pretty decent way  j  well soon to be j  a smart ass cop  played by will smith  runs down what he thinks is a wouldbe villain and gets some attention from the mib and k in particular  k aims to recruit our poor j  but that is not the whole point of this movie  the main duty of the mib is to police the extra terrestrials on earth who have chosen it as a home or a refuge  thats also the main point of this movie  protect the earth from the scum of the galaxy  some of the scum from space is awfully bad and just down right nasty  color commentary abounds when forced to deal with alien scum and none other than will smith and tommy lee jones are there to deliver the punch  the dialogue is witty to say the least  this wittiness lets the movie flow well from scene to scene developing the characters to the extent needed for this movie  tommy lee jones  as k  and will smith  as j  provide both the action and the comedy beautifully  the characters they play dont seem to be wrong in any way nor does their performance as them  i would have to say that k is more amusing than j  but whats one without the other  both roles complemented each other very well and the script seemed to be written for these two actors  the story also goes deep enough to provide a proper background so the audience is not totally clueless  altogether good performances were put in by all the cast and the director blended everything marvelously with the necessary special effects to create a good movie  a movie well worth seeing if you are up for some lighthearted and witty humor  as most movies have their good things they also have their bad things  the character development in this movie was not all that grand because it didnt need to be  but if there was more character development and if there was some development of the alien characters that might have added quite considerable to the movie  especially the evil alien  he did need some work  though this could have been worked on  the movie was what it proposed to be a rather shallow and witty comedy  that was achieved rather well  with some interesting commentary and observations  a movie worth a view  but keep in mind what the movie is and if you are not fond of will smiths form of humor then i wouldnt go  originally written after original release  totally rewritten december 26  1997 
pos	in the opening shot of midnight cowboy  we see a closeup of a blank movie screen at a drivein  we hear in the soundtrack human cries and the stomping of horses hooves  without an image projected onto the screen  the audience unerringly identifies the familiar sound of cowboys chasing indians and can spontaneously fill in the blank screen with images of old westerns in our minds eye  even without having seen a cowboys and indians movie  somehow the cliched images of them seem to have found their way into our mental schema  but do cowboys really exist  or are they merely hollywood images personified by john wayne and gary cooper  exploring this theme  director john schlesinger uses the idea of the cowboy as a metaphor for the american dream  an equally cliched yet ambiguous concept  is the ease at which salvation and success can be attained in america a hallmark of its experience or an urban legend  midnight cowboy suggests that the american dream  like image of the cowboy  is merely a myth  as joe buck migrates from place to place  he finds neither redemption nor reward in his attempt to create a life for himself  only further degeneration  during the opening credits  joe walks past an abandoned theater whose decrepit marquee reads john wayne  the alamo   as joe is on the bus listening to a radio talk show  a lady on the air describes her ideal man as gary cooper  but hes dead   a troubled expression comes across joes face  as he wonders where have all the cowboys gone  having adopted the image of a cowboy since youth  joe now finds himself deserted by the persona he tried to embody  joes persistence in playing the act of the cowboy serves as an analogue to his american dream  he romanticizes about making it in the big city  but his dreams will desert him as he is forced to compromise his ideals for sustenance  by the end of midnight cowboy  joe buck loses everything and gains nothing  just as the audience can picture cowboys chasing indians on a blank screen  we can also conjure up scenes from pretty woman as paradigms of american redemption and success  but how realistic are these ideals  joe had raped and been raped in texas  the scars of his troubled past prompt him to migrate to new york  but he does not know that his aspirations to be a cowboy hero will fail him there just as they had in texas  alongside the dream of success is the dream of salvation  the ability to pack up ones belongings and start anew seems to be an exclusive american convention  schlesinger provides us with strong hints as to joes abusive and abused past with flashbacks of improper relationships with crazy anne and granny  we understand that joe adopts the fa  ade of a cowboy  a symbol of virility and gallantry  as an attempt to neutralize his shame  he runs from his past only to be sexually defiled this time by his homosexual experiences in new york  in the scene at the diner which foreshadows joes encounter with the gay student  joe buck spills ketchup on himself  standing up  we see the ketchup has made a red stain running from the crotch of his pants down his thigh  schlesinger visually depicts the degeneration of joes virility by eliciting an image of bleeding genitals  signifying emasculation  beyond the symbol of castration  the scene may also connote the bleeding of a virgins first sexual encounter  a reference to joes first homosexual liaison  the fact that the idea of a bleeding virgin is relegated only to females furthers the imagery of joes emasculation  it is ironic that joe has trouble prospecting for female clients  but effortlessly attracts men  joe believes his broncobuster getup is emblematic of his masculinity  new yorkers see his ensemble as camp and faggot stuff   there are two predominant images of new york  the first is that new york is the rich  cosmopolitan city where hope and opportunity are symbolized by the tall skyscrapers and the statue of liberty  the other new york is travis bickles new york  a seedy  corruptive hell on earth  joe envisions new york as the former  but is presented with the latter  mirroring the irony in which joe envisions his cowboy attire as masculine  he mistakenly buys into the fable that new york is filled with lonely women neglected by gay men  joe thinks he is performing a great service for new york  but the city rapes him of his pride and possessions  the people steal joes money  the landlord confiscates his luggage  and the homosexuals rob him of his dignity  what has become of joes american dream  schlesinger responds to this question with the scene at the party  joe gets invited to a shindig of sorts and at the gathering is exposed to a dizzying array of food  drugs  and sex  at the party  all of joe and ratzos desires are made flesh  joe flirts successfully with women and ratzo loads up on free salami  contrasting joes daily struggles  shots of warhols crew display wanton indulgence  there is an irreverence in the partygoers attitude  we see a shot of a woman kowtowing to nothing in particular  orgies breaking out in the periphery  and drugs passed around like party favors  the party makes a mockery of joe s ideals  joe believed that hard work and persistence were the elements for success in america  scenes of the party and his rendezvous with shirley suggest that it is the idle who profit from joes toils  the american dream  schlesinger suggests  is merely a proletarian fantasy  for those who are content no longer dream  but become indolent  as joe heads to miami  all that was significant of the cowboy image has left him  his masculinity is compromised and his morality is relinquished  for joe  nothing is left of the cowboy hero and commensurately  he surrenders the identity  tossing his boots into the garbage  he returns to the bus for the last leg of his journey to miami  the final shot of midnight cowboy shows joe inside the bus  more introspective  taking only a few glances outside the window  instead of the frequent pov shots of joe excitedly looking out of the bus on his way to new york  schlesinger sets up this final shot from the exterior of the bus looking in through the window at joe  reflections of the palm trees ratzo so raved about run across the bus window with joe hardly taking notice  the scenery of miami no longer exacts the same excitement from joe as before  the world seems smaller to joe now  the termination of his journey coincides with the termination of his american dream  no longer does joe aspire to be the enterprising gigolo  he resolves to return to a normal job and resign to basic means  midnight cowboy presents two familiar incarnations of the american dream  there is the frontier fantasy that if you are brave enough to repel a few indians  you can set up a ranch out west and raise a beautiful family  then there is the jay gatsby dream that a man of humble stock  with perseverance  can make a fortune in the big city  joes attempt to realize these dreams robs him of his innocence in texas and morality in new york  during his search for an intangible paradise  joe ends up raping a girl and killing a man  an allegory of chasing the promise of the american dream  joe bucks progressive moral atrophy is a warning against the pursuit of illusory icons  
pos	metro ive seen san francisco in movies many times  there was 1994s interview with the vampire and most recently the rock  now  yet again  san francisco is the setting for this movie  eddie murphy stars as inspector scott roper of the sfpd  he is their top hostage negotiator  and the very best at what he does  when his best friend on the force is killed by joe  michael wincott  in a terrific performance   a psychotic  demented jewel thief  roger makes it his mission to capture the guy before he strikes again  meanwhile  roper tries to rekindle a relationship with his british exgirlfriend veronica  while helping to rear a new up and comer from swat whos an expert sniper and marksman  michael rappaport   despite the obligatory cop movie scenes  does every copnew partner movie have to start the same way   where the sgt  assigns roper a partner  roper confronts the sarge  etc   this film is still one heck of an explosive ride  a scene involving a cable car has to be seen to be believed  and boasts some amazing car stunts  eddie murphy shines in this tailormade role  and for once  his character shows depth and concern  when confronting joe in prison  you can feel the anger drip from every word  michael rappaport is basically throwaway  he serves no purpose  except to be buddy to murphy and get disabled in the final reel so that eddie can save the day  typical action escapist fare  michael wincott offers the best performance as the crazed killer and jewel thief joe  never before have i seen such a villian written like this where i could actually believe that he was serious and take him seriously  maybe i just thought that this role was different due to wincotts perfectly raspy voice  i dont know  what i do know  though  is that although metro is basically a typical action retread  it manages to cover new ground and shed new light on tired old cliches  the film is a triumph  and an entertaining one at that  it doesnt meander or trail off from its main character  an enjoyable two hours  metro is enjoyable  witty  actionpacked  and fun  and makes for a great action movie thats perfect for all of us that need an escape from reality  
pos	susan grangers review of  hearts in atlantis   castle rockwarner bros   timing is everything  and the timing just seems right for this poignant psychological drama that combines the comingofage nostalgia of  stand by me  with the mystical power of  the green mile   based on stephen king stories adapted by screenwriter william goldman and directed by scott hicks  its set in 1960 in harwich  connecticut  where fatherless 11 yearold bobby garfield  anton yelchin  lives in a boarding house with his resentful  selfcentered mother  hope davis   hes devoted to his neighborhood friends  mika boorem  will rothhaar  but his pivotal relationship is with a strange  new tenant  ted brautigan  anthony hopkins  who opens the world of literature to him after his selfish mother refuses to buy him a birthday gift and hands him  instead  a library card  knowing hes longing for a schwinn bike  ted offers to pay him 1 a week to read him the local newspaper and keep his eyes peeled for signs of the malevolent  ominous low men who are chasing him to exploit his special powers  the story structure consists of one long flashback  framed by the present  featuring the adult bobby  david morse   minimizing the supernatural elements while emphasizing the human drama hopkins mysterious character is genteel  sensitive and benignly seductive  the only explanation is that hes a psychic who is wanted by the fbi to aid in their hunt for communists and even that seems appropriate  given the inexplicable state of the world right now  the production values and performances are solid  particularly hopkins  arguably the finest  most versatile actor of our era  and the children with whom he forges a firm bond  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   hearts in atlantis  is a wistful  enigmatic 8  evolving with subtle power to an emotionally effective catharsis  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  floating life  australias firstever submission to the academy of motion picture arts  sciences for consideration in the best foreign language film category  its dialogue is in cantonese  english  and german   marks a special accomplishment by clara law  a compelling  at times poignant film  it manages to maintain its truthfulness while teetering between comedy and melodrama  floating life centers around a hong kong familys sense of dislocation and loss of identity after moving to australia in order to avoid the communist takeover of hong kong  and is divided into clearly defined vignettes  each chapter labelled with title cards pertaining to houses  which serves to emphasize the films theme of family  the film opens with mr  and mrs  chan  edwin pang  cecilia fong sing lee  and their two teen sons  toby wong  toby chan  leaving the bustling  claustrophobic metropolis of hong kong to join their second daughter bing  annie yip  in australia  with their spacious  immaculatelywhite new house and the vast abundance of neighbourhood greenery  the chans initially find this serene new land a strange and wonderous one  and  with neurotic bing cooly remarking about the possible dangers of australian life  killer dogs  poisonous spiders  dangerous ultraviolet rays   a frightening one  this sets up a wonderfully amusing scene early in the film where the four immigrants  aimlessly ambling about their new suburban neighbourhood  are sent scrambling by the yelps of a little white puppy  the tone set up early in the film is broadly comic  and one expects floating life to depict the clash of cultures as the chans struggle to acclimatize themselves to the new ways of australian life as they integrate themselves into australian society  a scene where the two teen sons meet up with a sunbathing neighbourhood girl is left dangling   but the film suddenly veers towards an introspective and melodramatic tone  floating life shifts its focus away from the exploits of the new immigrants and towards bings domineering of her newlyreunited family  setting out a set of stringent and oppressive rules which create tremendous tension within the household and threaten to fracture the family  meanwhile  elder daughter yen  annette shun wah   happily settled in germany with her husband and young daughter  begins to suffer an identity crisis  manifesting itself with her claims to her patiently exasperated husband that their new home is cursed with bad feng shui  and further exacerbated upon hearing of the familial conflict down under  among the dramatic threads of floating life  this is perhaps the most effective and engaging  with an interesting set of characters and a storyline which generates a genuine emotional punch  the one misguided vignette in floating life involves eldest son gar ming  anthony wong   left behind in hong kong to resolve various affairs on behalf of his family and to await his immigration papers before rejoining his parents and brothers in australia  emotionally detatched and aimlessly drifting  his is an uncompelling character  and consequently subsequent attempts to draw out pathos are uninvolving and ineffective  his desperate search for emotional fulfillment is depicted by philosopical droning on the exquisite peak of an orgasm  which quickly becomes tedious  ms  laws film cheerfully embraces melodrama  each of the major vignettes feature excessively emotional climaxes which i couldnt help but find reminiscent to wayne wangs acutely unsubtle the joy luck club  but despite the directors rather clear attempts to tug at the heartstrings  i couldnt help but be touched by a powerful and affecting soliloquy delivered masterfully by cecilia fong sing lee which truly packs an emotional wallop and  in dramatic terms  is certainly the highlight of floating life  floating life at times spreads itself too thin  given the myriad of characters involved  it could either stand to delve into each vignette a little deeper  or narrow its focus to a select group of key characters  however  it is a fine film  with a thoughtful and insightful screenplay by clara law and husband eddie lingching fong  and some superb acting by a cast consisting almost exclusively of nonactors  special note is to be made of cecilia fong sing lee  annette shun wah  and a short but dazzling performance by an actress who portrayed gar mings girlfriend from vancouver   floating life is ultimately about the ties that bond a family together  which are able to withstand great distances and new environments  
pos	plot  a peculiar french girl grows up lonely with her father and doesnt quite know what she wants out of life  one day  she falls upon something  and believes that her ticket to happiness may be in helping others  she starts with the people around her  but when she suddenly falls for her own guy  she cant act strongly enough because of her shy and dreamy nature  critique  a clever  quirky  original french flick set in a picturesque paris  featuring an endearing lead with a giant imagination  much loneliness and a little bit of love for everyone  this is a  feelgood  kind of movie  a fairy tale for grownups who are bummed out about life  it doesnt pretend to be deep  it doesnt weigh itself down with long expositions or intricate studies of its characters  its basically just a  cute movie  in the same vein as chocolat and pay it forward  with some amazing visuals and incredibly nice intentions  and if chocolat was somehow able to nab an oscar nomination for best picture last year  a sham on so many different levels   you might as well slap this film up for consideration also  since its quite a bit better and much more original than the former   one thing that this film isnt though  at least according to me  is the best film of the year  it was bestowed the honor of  best  in at least 3 different film festivals so far this year   it actually managed to stagnate a little bit about halfway through and it just went on for way too long  its a little over two hours but it felt even longer   with much of the second half of the movie devoted to many different characters  all of whom werent as interesting as the lead  and a lot of indecisiveness from ms  amelie herself  which got frustrating  thankfully  this film doesnt bog itself down with too much of that stuff  and actually goes out of its way to invent new ways to shoot scenes  to integrate moments of fantasy into its fabric and to transport the audience inside the imagination of this kindhearted french girl  on the whole  its a lot of fun and it carries a beautiful message of love and support for your fellow man  the lead  audrey tautou  is perfect for the role  and gives you enough moments of truth to develop her character into someone that you care about by the end of the film  unfortunately  the rest of the cast isnt as welldeveloped  and even though most of them are pretty appealing  a couple couldve been left out to save time and at least one was left stranded plotwise  by the films end  what happened to the guy in the caf  who was spying on his exgirlfriend the whole movie    now i havent seen too many recent french films  i will admit  but if this is the kind of  scene  that theyre developing over in  le pays du vin   i wouldnt mind catching more of their flicks in the future  crimson rivers was another french film that i saw earlier this year  which i really liked ironically  that film was directed by mathieu kassovitz  who is the costar in this film   granted  the english subtitles got a little tough to keep up with at times  i speak and understand french also  but some of the local colloquialisms went over my head   especially since the films visuals were so intriguing that you just couldnt help but constantly gawk at them  but the general idea  the background music  the nifty french neighborhoods  the very creative way of enveloping the audience into the storyline from the start  were all very easy to appreciate  and i for one was especially glad to have seen this movie during these trying times in the world  in fact  id recommend it to anyone looking for a jolly ol time at the movie house  with a particular emphasis on folks with a lot of imagination  a little loneliness in their lives and many dreams in their hearts  and this guy directed alien  resurrection  get outta here   note  i especially loved the way that the script detailed and showed the loveshates of everyone with exact mentions in the film  it was very original  very well shot and very nostalgic  as many of us were able to relate to the behaviors described  good stuff  wheres joblo coming from  chocolat  610   crimson rivers  810   ghost world  910   like water for chocolate  810   o brother  where art thou  710   pay it forward  510   rushmore  910   woman on top  710  
pos	eric rohmers  pauline at the beach   is one of those small  deliberately paced  but charming foreign films in which not much happens plot wise  but a lot happens to the characters emotionally  the film takes place during a few weeks of august at the normandy coast  and centers on six different characters  primarily pauline  amanda langlet   a wise beyond her years 15yearold who has come to stay for the summer with her older cousin  marion  arielle dombasle   on the first day at the beach  marion runs into an old high school flame  fedoore atkine   and although he wants to rekindle their relationship  she is more interested in an older  more seductive womanizer  pascal greggory   who is also secretly having an affair with a candy vendor  rosette   while pauline watches as an outsider at what is happening between all of the adults  she forms a relationship of her own with a young teenage boy  simon de la brosse    pauline at the beach   is not a film in which big dramatic things occur  and there is not a clearcut  tidy conclusion to the story  instead  it is a picture that simply observes its characters in every day life  and the surprises come from little character details  the film is quite talky and slow moving  and so it is pretty safe to say it isnt for those who are only a fan of action movies  but is a treat for those viewers who often like to venture outside of the bigbudget genre and see a good art film  this is the first film by acclaimed director eric rohmer  1969s  my night at mauds   and 1971s  claires knee   that i have seen  but his direction is assured and intelligent  as is the screenplay  which he also wrote   pauline at the beach   is a film worth seeing  
pos	after a rather disappointing  mary railly   stephen frears is now officially back in business with a comeback worthy of praise  this is one of the best surprises of this season  a sweet  small budget comedy with a big heart  in fact its not even a comedy  its a drama or even more precise  a clever satire on human relationships and needs  based on a 1995 critically acclaimed novel by british author nick hornby  high fidelity is a wry and likable story about a mans quest for fulfillment and happiness  rob gordon was a dj  it seems that he could make everything spin  except his own life  now he owns championship vinyl  a little musical store  somewhere in new york  when he suddenly gets dumped by his girlfriend  a gorgeous blond attorney  life suddenly looses every purpose  decimated  humiliated and on the verge of a mental  and emotional  breakdown  he starts meditating over his life and the way it could have been  about whats right and whats important  he starts  categorizing  life  dividing it into  top 5 lists   and the most important is the  top 5 list  over the most painful breakups of his life  starting with 5th grade  when he found his young girlfriend with another boy  though you might think that people change  grow more mature with age  it just doesnt seem that way and all robs relationships were different versions of that first  where did he go wrong  was it he that screwed up  or maybe life just stinks  while he is lost in his own selfpity  he must think of the  top 5 list  over his needs for the future  find the right elements and mix his life together  with clever parallels to the cult of celebrity  music and with incredibly direct narration  it addresses the average audience member  in other words  people like you and me  although a lot of this honor should be addressed to the screenwriter  and frears  the director  the acting is equally important as the written word  and here john cusack should absolutely be mentioned  he is simply superb  it is as much his movie as it is frears  the film would not be the same without him  cusack  whose character is sadder  wiser and 35  brings intelligence and warmth to post mod irony  most of his dialogue is delivered directly to the camera  not an easy task  but cusack pulls it off  his interpretation feels so emotionally right  so incredibly realistic and precise that frears message simply cant be ignored or overseen  the other members of the cast do an equally remarkable job  both  and jack black are fabulous  even catherine zeta jones appears in a role where she actually acts  not just looks beautiful  however  the most unexpected pleasant surprises is provided by todd louiso who delivers a spectacular comic performance as robs coworker and friend dick  this is such an impressive achievement that its almost worth a oscarnomination  he is simply a joy to behold  otherwise  everyone are in their place  and at the right time  all part of frears colorful blend  pretty much like edward nortons  keeping the faith   this film doesnt follow any formula or belong to any genre  its dramatic  tragic  sarcastic  comic and even cynical  but never bitter or angry  its a little bit of everything  pretty much like life itself  nothing seems unreal or staged  it reflects reality as a mirror  as you watch it  you go through the same emotional problems as the main character  you feel and think and reflect  this effect has become a rarity nowadays  although its primarily about the perils of love  high fidelity is secondarily about pop music  rob owns championship vinyl and his employees  timid dick  todd louiso  and overbearing barry  jack black   are fellow music snobs  music is the language in their lives  the measure by which they define themselves and mark the significant events of their lives  and so does the movie  it is as much a musical film as anything else  as robs journey is wonderfully portrayed through carefully inserted musical fragments  in the end  you have gained something while watching it  its not the film of the century or even of the year  its not an special effects extravaganza  it doesnt require big explosions or digital creatures to succeed  its a small movie about the big things  and even though it does not contain heavy philosophy  you feel as if you have experienced something of significance  and you will experience that nice warm feeling for quite some time  
pos	plot  a group of asbestos cleaners get a job removing the gunk from an old insane asylum  as each day passes  the crew members begin to discover things about the place and themselves which set other things in motion  saying anything else about the plot would be a crime  have fun    critique   i feel like shooting myself in the head  are the first words that came out of my mouth after seeing this movie  a good indication as to what kind of film to expect here  this aint your average  happy go lucky  kind of picture  this is a deliberately slowpaced mysteryhorror film drenched in atmosphere  with a very creepy insane asylum  in which most of the film takes place   very few clues upfront and lots to talk about afterwards  will it bore some people to sleep  you bet it will  is it made for the scream audiences of the day  absolutely not  i guess you can describe this film as a horror movie for the  cerebral crowd   a film that patiently unwraps itself frame after frame  giving away very little with each step and each sound  unwinding itself until its final scenes offer up a world of revelations and plenty more to discuss later  ive always loved movies that have me talking about them afterwards like the shining and lost highway and this film fits right into that group  in fact  i guess i can pussyfoot around the actual word all i want but the best way to describe this kind of movie is a  mindfuck   if you feel like watching a movie that moves very slowly  gives you a handful of characters with divergent backgrounds  tosses a few very ambiguous and supernatural cookies your way and is extremely disturbing once you put it all together  well  then this movie is definitely for you  its the kind of film that you actually have to see twice to fully appreciate  damn  i missed that whole  peanut butter  thing   and one that will likely creep the shit out of you if watched alone in the dark   brrrrrrrrr    now what was that sound in the basement  honey  can you go check   and one thing this film doesnt have  unlike its hollywoodian counterparts like the haunting  is special effects  in fact  thats one of the greater things about this movie  it feels real because it looks like its actually taped on video with very credible actors in very credible circumstances  i did some research and it was  in fact  shot on digital video    ahha    another great thing about it is that its actually very gory and somewhat violent in theme  and yet we rarely see anything of the sort on the big screen  its mostly implied  kids    and as clich  d as it might be to say    its usually much scarier when stuff is left to our imagination or implied in movies as such  other films that this one reminded me of include henry  portrait of a serial killer and the blair witch project  with that same real sense of dread  brooding and terror  the film does however move awfully slow and if you really dont get  into  it completely  you really need to concentrate here   you will lose the motion of the story and the pentup tension might be released  but overall  this film is yet another great example of the horror genre making a very cool comeback this year with no tight tanktops in sight  and with david caruso acting like the king hotshot like only he can  how can you go wrong  definitely not a film for everyone but a mustsee for anyone looking to throw themselves into the psyche of the disturbed  count me in    stanley kubrick would be proud  oh yeah    so wheres that gun again     wheres joblo coming from  the blair witch project  410   blair witch 2  710   the haunting  310   the house on haunted hill  710   lost highway  1010   the pledge  610   the shining  910   the sixth sense  810   unbreakable  810  
pos	hedwig and the angry inch  2001  john cameron mitchell  miriam shor  stephen trask  michael pitt  theodore liscinski  michael aronov  andrea martin  maurice dean wint  ben mayergoodman  animation by emily hubley  adapted from the stage play by john cameron mitchell and stephen trask  music and lyrics by stephn trask  written and directed by john cameron mitchell  91 minutes  rated r  stars  had  hedwig and the angry inch  came out in the 70s  right after david bowies  ziggy stardust   it likely would now be regarded as one of the most popular rock musicals of all time  released in the 500 channel  sensory overload world of 2001  however  the big screen adaptation of the acclaimed offbroadway musical must do battle with countless other productions clamoring for attention  i almost missed it  every august  the major studios try to squeeze the last few dollars out of summer moviegoers by dumping all of their shakier offerings on the marketplace at once  i was so busy trying to keep up with national releases like  summer catch  and  bubble boy  that i passed over any independent film that looked like it would only have a short local run  but an email from a reader asking why i hadnt reviewed the movie prompted me to make a late evening trip to the theater  thank goodness for readers like him   hedwig and the angry inch  is a genderbending glamrock spectacular packed with great songs  stylistically  the hookladen tunes are reminiscent of bowie   bat out of hell  era meatloaf and  the rocky horror show   without ever seeming like imitations  as with  tommy    hedwig  tells a story of isolation  pain and defiance  but without the bloated feel of that beloved  but overrated rock opera  writerdirectorstar john cameron mitchell and composerlyricist stephen trask have cooked up a real winner  mitchell stars as hedwig  a singer from east berlin touring a chain of u  s  coffee shops with her panslavic band  the angry inch  while the patrons of the rundown restaurants look on in shock  and sometimes horror  hedwig boldly tells the sad story of her life in song  she was once a boy named hansel  ben mayergoodman   living with his mother  alberta watson  and listening to rock and roll on american armed forces radio  life is an exercise in duality for hansel  a wall splits his hometown into two parts  mother describes love as the emotion that comes when you find your other half  as hansel grows up  the duality becomes more pronounced  after initially mistaking him for a girl  a gi from the states  maurice dean wint  falls in love with hansel and wants to marry him  alas  hansel will never pass the mandatory physical  mother helpfully suggests a sex change  but the operation goes bad  hence the references to  the angry inch   yes  i know this part is squirminducing  but stick with me  its worth it   several years later  mr  right is long gone and hansel becomes hedwig  decked out in a farrah fawcettstyle wig and fronting a band made up of korean women  hedwig finds a new love in tommy  michael pitt   a beatific lad with a unique take on christianity  but tommy does hedwig wrong  stealing her songs and becoming a superstar  cut to the present  tommy gnosis stadium tour is thriving and hedwig is suing him  despite warnings from her manager  andrea martin  that she could easily be labeled a stalker  hegwig and her new band  the angry inch  continue their coffee shop tour  shadowing the thief by playing whatever city he is in  if this sounds like a bizarre premise for a rock musical  take a few seconds and consider the plotlines of  tommy  and  rocky horror   as hedwig  john cameron mitchell does a magnificent job taking a character that could have simply been a caricature or an icon and turning her into a compelling human being  mitchell has worldclass style and vocal chords to match  even though the backstory is unusually strong  mitchell never forgets that the production is first and foremost a rock musical  everything is propelled by one terrific song after another and  trust me  these are fullfledged rock songs  not the overprocessed fluff that passes for rock in most musicals  while mitchell remains in the center of the stage throughout the film  there is much of interest on the sidelines  miriam shor does fine work as yitzhak  hedwigs lover and bandmate  conveying a great deal through expressions alone  decked out in a bandanna and a surprisingly convincing beard  she makes a mighty attractive man  as always   sctv  veteran andrea martin is a welcome presence onscreen and michael pitt is beguiling as tommy  the angelicappearing little rat  artist emily hubley adds to the magic with a string of dandy animated sequences that charm the eye while underlining the central themes of the musical   hedwig and the angry inch  surrounds a weird  funny and touching story with a knockout series of songs performed by an exceptional cast  true originals do not come along very often  dont let this slip out of town without seeing it  
pos	with many bigbudget science fiction films  great ideas are often wasted by bad scripts  cheesy plot twists  and  terrible acting  the fifth element  the abyss  and godzilla had great concepts squandered by bad acting  writing  or both  at first glance  the matrix  larry  andy wachowskis scifikungfushootemup spectacular  looks like a prime candidate to join the list of highconcept bad movies  especially with dopey keanu reeves in the leading role  but despite high levels of cheese and gaudy dialogue  the matrix works  its an uncanny blend of action and surreal fantasy that borrows from dozens of other films  most obviously the terminator films  star wars  and total recall   but remains refreshingly original and interesting throughout  reeves plays neo  a computer hacker who stumbles into an initially bewildering set of encounters with  trinity   carrieanne moss   a rival hacker who has supernatural powers and stunning good looks  a unseen  omniscient cult figure known as  morpheus   lawrence fishburne   and a trio of creepy men in dark suits who act like irs agents from hell  neo quickly learns that the world he has known all his life is not what it seems  moreover  he discovers that the grim  bleak world he is introduced to has been waiting for him to save it  neo is reluctant to assume the role of messiah  with grave doubts that he is actually  the one  prophesized to come and save the world  reluctant or not  what follows is a mix of hong kongstyle slowmotion shootouts  surreal dream sequences  high speed chases  and comic book kungfu fights  the film also raises interesting philosophical questions about reality  how exactly do you know what is real and what is in your mind  and if the real world were much harsher and grim than a fantasy one you were living in  would you want to face the true world or continue to live in a more comfortable illusion  unfortunately  the matrix doesnt provide many answers to the questions it raises  but at least it puts some ideas behind all the explosions  shootouts  and flying roundhouse kicks  perhaps stealing the entire show in the matrix is australian actor hugo weaving  who plays agent smith  the leader of the creepy agents in sunglasses and suits who seem capable of being anywhere and doing anything to stop neo and friends from destabilizing the matrix  weavings stony appearance  deadpan voice  and chilling comments put a grim human face on the haunting  evil technological force that controls the matrix  like robert patrick as the shapeshifting t1000 terminator in terminator 2  judgement day  weaving is more frightening than any monstrous alien or homicidal robot because  despite his power and seeming invincibility  he looks ordinary  even scrawny  weaving embodies his role with a memorably chilling presence  the film features some truly breathtaking special effects and stylish cinematography  it seems to be deliberately kitchy  with stylized fight sequences directed by hong kong stunt specialist wo ping that reportedly required months of martial arts training by the actors  in a few scenes  the posing and posturing is unintentionally funny  just seeing keanu reeves engaging in serious kung fu is a bit jarring  however  with the comicbook style and tone of the film  you can sustain willing disbelief long enough to enjoy the ride without losing patience  the matrix isnt a classic  its openended and confusing conclusion raises more questions than it answers  it fails to resolve many of its own plot twists and philosophical questions  it also relies on some conventional sentimentality to save the hero  the kind of shmaltzy feelgood goo that most of the film avoids  reportedly  the producers have high hopes for the film being the first in a trilogy and have already begun work on the story for the sequel  unfortunately  audiences deserve a little more than a vague sense that the story will continue in the future  the matrix is an fun  enjoyable diversion  like a big puff of cotton candy at a carnival  just dont be surprised half an hour later when you still feel a little hungry  
pos	 the deep end  uses a color palette of rich earth tones surrounded by a vast array of blues  alluring  attractive blues  but also icy and foreboding  after taking in their beauty  the eye seeks out the reassuring browns and greens  like a tired swimmer searching for the safety of land  the production works that way as well  it pulls you in initially as a crisp  thoroughlymodern thriller  with clipped exchanges between defiantly noncommunicative characters  but the real draw of the film is the submerged humanity of two key players as  the deep end  gradually reveals the melodramatic core beneath its ironic candy coating  spoiler alert  the following reveals the basic storyline  i believe the plot points are incidental  because the real rewards come in exploring the mindset of the main characters  but still  you should proceed at your own risk  with her husband tom  a naval officer  often away at sea  margaret hall  tilda swinton  holds down the fort  taking care of the children  beau  jonathan tucker   paige  tamara hope   and dylan  jordon dorrance   while her fatherinlaw jack  peter donat  hovers in the background  always watching  the story opens with margaret leaving the family home in lake tahoe to storm a male strip club in reno  it seems that beau  her eldest  is having an affair with darby reese  josh lucas   a disreputable sort 12 years his senior  margaret demands that darby leave her son alone  only to have the man smirk at her and announce hell be glad to steer clear of beau  for 5000  back at home  she tries to talk about it all with her son  but the kid wont even confirm that hes gay  let alone discuss the issues she has with his boyfriend  he does  however  get attentive when she reveals darbys 5  000 offer  even as he maintains his sullen demeanor  late in the evening  darby shows up outside  tossing pebbles at beaus window like a schoolchild  the two meet by the water at the boathouse  where something important happens  i wont reveal what  suffice to say we become aware of a significant fact that margaret does not  all of this happens in the first few minutes of the movie  by the way  within a day or so  margarets life becomes even more complicated when a suave man named alec goran visnjic  turns up with an explicit videotape documenting the sex life of beau and darby  he and his associate are willing to destroy the tape  once margaret coughs up 50  000  oh  whats a mother to do  end spoilers written  directed and produced by scott mcgehee and david siegel   suture     the deep end  is based on elisabeth sanxay holdings 1940s novel   the blank wall   which was also the source of the 1949 film   the reckless moment   ive neither read the book nor seen the movie  but i understand that the filmmakers changed some details  in holdings story  the  scandalous  relationship is between an older man and margarets teenage daughter  switching the gender makes the tale seem more contemporary  and it also raises questions about margarets motives  many reviews of  the deep end  describe margaret as a mother ferociously protecting her son  but i wonder  consider this  margaret lives in a meticulously kept upscale home  her husband is absent most of the time and seems to be regarded as a largerthanlife figure  her fatherinlaw is constantly present  almost as if he is monitoring for his son  and when her husband does call  margaret is careful not to tell him about anything disturbing that is going on with the family  so is margaret a mother who accepts her sons sexual orientation and is simply trying to shield the young man from a lover she fears will take advantage of him  or is she caretaker of a museum of upper middle class complacency  desperate to maintain the status quo so that everything will be postcard perfect when the old man returns from the sea  you sort it out  regardless  the resonance of  the deep end  comes from two actors  goran visnjic  best known from the tv drama  er   is striking as a blackmailer unlike any youve seen before  he engages margaret in a mesmerizing dance of protocol  chivalry and simmering eroticism  but the star of this show  without a doubt  is the remarkable tilda swinton  watch the shadings  depth  resource  vitality and understated sexuality she gives margaret and try to imagine the film without her  days after my second viewing of  the deep end   i can still vividly picture her negotiating with villains  trying to connect with her son and diving into icy blue water   the deep end  is an exceptional film and tilda swinton is the best part of it  
pos	warning   may contain some mild spoilers and offensive material  rated  r    for sexual content  crude and sexual humor  and some nudity    a mild r rating  starring  rob schneider  oded fehr  eddie griffin  arija bareikis  amy poehler  norm mcdonald  running time  88 minutes  deuce bigalow  male gigolo  is simply a hilarious goodnatured comedy that may offend some  but underneath all its crude humor and sexual content is a sweet little love story that is surprisingly involving  it isnt any kind of cinematic classic  but its a very very funny comedy that keeps us entertained until the end credits which themselves are funny too  it has all it needs to be a breezy entertaining comedy  the acting is up to pace and some of the performances quite funny  the screenplay is witty and smart  and the whole story is sweet and cute  deuce bigalow  rob schneider  is your typically average guy  he cleans fish tanks for a living and gets an average of 10 bucks for it  though one might call him a loser  deuce gets a job he would never thought he would get  he gets to clean the tank for a male gigolo  oded fehr  and gets offered to watch over his place while he goes on a trip  trying to be like him he hangs upside down from a pole and accidentally pushes off the fishtank and burns his cabinets  the thing is now he has to try and find 6  000 dollars in three weeks to make sure everything looks right again  so he decides to go  manwhoring  and to his luck gets the oddest people on earth  an overweight woman who decidedly wants to eat everything in site  a woman with narcolepsy who sleeps all the time  a woman who has sudden screaming outbursts  and a woman he cant stop thinking about  he charges 10 but he is willing to negotiate  from now on he is considered deuce bigalow  male gigolo  with nonstop laughs an a abundence of crude humor  deuce bigalow  male gigolo  is sometimes like last years hit  theres something about mary  that is offensive but very funny  the screenplay by harris goldberg and rob schneider himself is a smart  clever and witty screenplay that seems to have been written with care to make is so hilariously funny  the characters in the film are all actually likable especially  jabba lady  with her big body but soft heart  there are actually times in the movie where i fell out of my chair laughing so hard that my stomach was killing me  even though i thought  toy story 2  and  being john malkovich  were the funniest of the year  deuce bigalow  follows right behind them  the directing by mike mitchell is fantastic and shows he took time on the film  rob schneider gives a surprisingly endearing performance and when his romance develops with one of his customers kate  arija bareikis  it is a sweet romance that we get involved in and actually like being involved in it   deuce bigalow  is a goodnatured film worth all the merit it can get  its not a classic or a masterpiece  its just a comedy that we dont feel bad about watching  sure it may come off as offensive and may come off as dumb sometimes  but you cannot deny that it isnt funny   deuce bigalow  male gigolo  is no disappointment  its a fast paced  entertaining sweet and hilarious comedy that may be destined to become a cult classic  fans of schneider will not be disappointed and fans of crude but nice comedies will not either  for some reason the film garnered an r rating but with no  f words  or extensive use of sexual content or explicit nudity i was really wondering why the film was r  a mild r to put it to the least  but even if your under 17 or above at least 13 this film is good enough for you to see  dont try to be one of those people who make so much of a film that they do not like it  just sit back  laugh and enjoy the movie  
pos	underrated movies are a common reoccurrence in show business today  1998s hope floats was extremely underrated and was one of the best movies of the year  we always get films that make big money at the boxoffice but critics and audiences pan on them  this year double jeopardy is one of those films  critics are calling it predictable and worthless  audiences are disappointed with it and think it was a disappointment  but as i viewed double jeopardy i found that it was a great movie  it has a surprising sense of humor and a big dose of heart  along with heartpounding suspense and twists and turns here and there it certainly is a really good movie  the always wonderful ashley judd plays libby parsons  a woman with a seemingly normal life  a great loving husband  a beautiful son and a great friend  her husband nick parsons has made a surprise for her and is going to buy her the sailboat she has always wanted  after a night of bliss libby wakes up in the middle of the night to find blood all over her and all over the sailboat  her husband is missing and there is a bloody knife on deck  of course being in shock she picks it up and a coast guard comes over and sees her  however she isnt immediately ceased until they find out his life insurance was worth twomillion dollars and they start to wonder rather she killed him for the money  she pleads notguilty but is found guilty and sent to prison for six years  while making a phone call to her best friend who adopted her son for her and she hears him say hi to his dad  which makes libbys heart stop right there  she realizes she must get out and prove that he isnt dead  one of her cellmates tells her that as long as she has been convicted of a crime she cannot be convicted of it again  which means she can shoot him in the middle of mardi gras and they cannot do anything about it  after she gets out she goes to a halfway house run by parole officer tommy lee jones  he is a man who has had his share of bad things  while out for the day she breaks into a school and tries to track down her kid and husband  leading up to some jawdropping twists that are both predictable and not  whatever happens the film was excellent to me  i found the writing wellwritten as well as the acting was great  ashley judd is such a talented and beautiful actress that she is a hero in a sort in this movie  even if you know what is going to happen in the end  you dont know how  this is one of those movies that you really do know what is going to happen  except you dont know how they are going to make it happen  it could be one way or another  it could be this way or that way  the movie is highly stylized and extremely wellmade  it gets most of its power from the two leads  ashley judd and tommy lee jones both give excellent performances  the characters are wellrealized and believable and we feel libbys pain when she cannot see her child for 6 years  even though a lot of critics didnt like the film  i loved it  the director took his time making the movie  and put a lot of shadowing in the movie  i found it not to be boring at all and its only flaw comes from some predictability  it moved at a fast pace  has suspense  humor  heart and great acting  it earns its right to be a great movie and to me thats what it was  
pos	as fairy tales go  cinderella has to be one of the most famous  almost everyone knows it  well at least in north america  so it is natural that someone will try to make a movie out of it  it has been done before with varying results  this version of the story is both similar to the original and different at the same time  the basic story remains unchanged but  one thing that seems to vanish with this version  and that is all the fantastical elements of the story  there is no fairy god mother or anything even remotely of that nature  after the fantastical elements are stripped away what is left is a realistic believable rendition of the cinderella story and an interesting love story at the least   unlike in the fairy tale  the prince plays a much larger part than just that of the masked ball at the end  the  prince  who happens to be the crown prince to the throne of france  meets cinderella  known as danielle  on a few occasions  most coincidentally and he becomes smitten with her  although this seems to be a far cry from the traditional story it allows for the main plot to proceed with enough room for some imaginative story telling   the story takes place in a renaissance setting  in france  with leonardo da vinci providing some comic relief on more than one occasion  this addition of leonardo da vinci  was quite successful in that it added some color to the movie  since some of the roles are a bit stereotypical  for example the role that was scripted for the prince leaves a few things to be desired  for instance the character seems to be a bit too unstable and fickle  a crown prince should not be anything remotely like that  especially since he is portrayed to be in his mid twenties at the least and almost ready to take the throne  the characters of danielle  cinderella  played by drew barrymore  and that of the evil step mother  played by anjelica huston  are well developed and well played by the two women  although the part of danielle is a bit stretched it is not too unlikely and not totally unbelievable  the nuances of the character are brought out well by drew barrymore and from watching the movie it seems like she had fun making the movie  as a contrast the part of the evil step mother is clearly seen from the very beginning and is almost clique  but  anjelica huston seems to add a certain flair to the role that makes it suit the movie nearly perfectly  the actual story is fairly predictable since it is after all the basic story of cinderella  but there are more than enough twists in how the story is told to make it interesting and enjoyable  the acting is of high caliber and seems deserved of praise  all in all this movie takes you back into history  into a seemingly magical fairy land  but  dont get me wrong there is nothing but reality  it is just refreshing to watch a movie that is not based in a familiar setting with everyday familiar things happening  so although the story is basically familiar the world it is set in is not  and that adds a dimension to the film which in this humble reviewers opinion makes it worth seeing 
pos	it stands as a moment one will not soon forget  a giant  green ogre flips through the pages of a cliche fairy tale  narrating it with every bit of dull inspiration that the story holds  this leads one to believe that this serves as the prologue to shrek  dreamworks second computer animated feature  but in a pricelessly hilarious bit of cinema  a page of this tale serves as that ogres toilet paper  from this opening moment  one can infer shreks defying of all expectations regarding it as a standard  disneyesque fairy tale  although rampant moments of hilarity dot shrek  the true charm of the film lies in the bold elements of friendship  courage  and acceptance  excelled by outstanding direction  stunning actor voice work  and most importantly  a witty screenplay with more going on than meets the eye  while shrek features an abundance of humor related directly toward adults  positive friendship values aimed at younger children fulfill the storyline  shrek  the previously mentioned ogre  holds a position of absolute nothingness within his community  the jolly green giant meets a fellow outsider  known only as the donkey  his species  who talks  and although he remains reluctant to warm up to him for a good portion of time  shrek eventually comes to a mutual understanding with him by acknowledging their common state as outcasts of the world  the pair team up to retrieve princess fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon for the powerful lord farquaad  learning quite a bit about each other and themselves along the way  their friendship exhibits the core theme of the need for someone to lean on  exemplifying to any child who may witness the film that acting as an honest companion can unquestionably affect someone  shrek and donkey endure as supposed freaks of nature due only to their differences from others but cling to each other for support and guidance along their journey  courage demonstrates itself within two major storylines  along the journey to rescue fiona  donkeys immeasurable cowardice reveals itself  whether he encounters walking over a shaky bridge or living alone  donkey withholds fears that he continuously puts aside without selfacknowledgment  but the yapping donkey must face his phobias when presented with the giant  firebreathing dragon guarding fiona  either he dies from terror or he triumphs with courage  he wisely chooses courage by pretending as if no dangerous situation actually faces him  allowing the donkey to overcome a horror that likely only continued due to his insistence of them  secondly  upon shreks and donkeys redeeming of princess fiona  the ogre finds the princess has plans for whomever saves her  to satisfy her desire for a  human  knight in shining armor  throughout this storyline  shrek faces his deep  perpetual misgivings of inhering as an ogre and struggles to determine how he will reveal his true identity to fiona  an ongoing struggle occurs between himself and his reluctance of the truth  but eventually  shrek courageously conquers his fear by telling the forbidden secret to fiona  children can realize from donkey and shrek that fear remains only as complicated as one makes it  if one sets hisher mind to overcoming something in particular  endless possibilities exist  after the friendships and courage prevail  the three central characters at the heart of shrek must take one more stretch of development  acceptance  surprisingly  fiona holds a dark secret of her own  due to a spell cast upon her years ago  she transforms into an ogre by night  in this storyline  fiona must learn to hold acceptance for herself  and she must realize what beauty truly means  to simply act as ones self  upon fionas learning of shreks desire to pursue a relationship with her  fiona  knowing that acceptance of herself serves as the only platform for her love with shrek to work  gives in to her inner demons of selfridicule and hatred  any child can pull from fionas transformation the meaning of beauty and the meaning of selfacceptance  on the technical side  shrek triumphs  directors adam adamson and vicky jenson pace shrek in a consistent and satisfying manner  evenly distributing the lessons learned by the central characters  these central characters spring to life thanks to brilliant voice work from mike myers  shrek   eddie murphy  donkey   and cameron diaz  princess fiona   myers creates his shrek as a lovable and troubled ogre whose green color not only serves as a skin color but perhaps his envy of other   normal  beings  murphy succeeds with his donkey through recreating the highstrung persona that so many know the actor to have off screen  cameron diaz exudes charisma and innocence as fiona  giving the princessogre a sense of power that many female characters in animated films lack  while the direction and voice work certainly elevate shrek  the ultimate factor in the film succeeding lies in the screenplay  written by ted elliott  terry rossio  joe stillman  and roger s  h  schulman  the script never underestimates the intelligence of the viewer  combining the three previously spoken of elements with humor for adults and children alike  capping it off with a constant tongueincheek feel that pokes fun at classic disney animated features  the fresh and entertaining screenplay delivers  with shrek  dreamworks executive jeffrey katzenberg has certainly oneupped himself by creating an instant animated classic that will live on for ages to come  the smaller children will laugh and cheer  the adults will laugh even harder and leave understanding much that their children did not  a film that breaks stereotypes and creates a definite standard of its own  shrek can certainly endure as one for the ages  
pos	for a movie about discoera excess   54  comes up surprisingly short on the sleazy happenings at the titular late 1970s and early 1980s manhattan dance club  think of it as a sort of  boogie nights  lite  where that similarlystructured and set portrayal of the porn industry was loaded with salacious goingson and skidded on a destructive midpoint tone shift   54  leaves the kinkier details to your imagination  it never needlessly revels in its seedy subject matter  but it thankfully never resorts to preaching  either  in fact  were it not for the rampant drug use and the intermittent dark moment   54  would be about as feathery as the time periods popular female hairstyle  studio 54 was a haven for the rich  famous and generally goodlooking before it closed its doors forever in 1986  inside  anything went and  we are told  everything did  the films fictional main character is shane oshea  ryan phillippe  the jerky jock from  i know what you did last summer    a freshfaced 19yearold who dreams of venturing beyond the clubs velvet rope and coming facetoface with the wild decadence he can only read about in magazines  his wish comes true when studio 54 owner steve rubell  mike myers  spots him amongst a crowd of gawkers one night in 79 and permits him passage  but not before he doffs his hideous shirt  of course  once inside  shane becomes seduced by the clubs dizzying vortex of sex and drugs  he has such a good time that he doesnt want to leave  so he seeks employment as a busboy  he quickly becomes friends with greg  breckin meyer  and anita  salma hayek   a married couple who work along side of him  gregs a fellow busboy with aspirations to make the big money as a studio 54 bartender  while anita checks coats but desires a recording contract to call her own  after rubbing elbows  among other things  with a renowned socialite  sela ward  and gaining the personal interest of rubell  shane begins to ascend to the upper echelons of 54  but fame doesnt come without a price   54  s major shortcomings lie within its handling of the supporting players  at a slim hourandahalf  the film is too short to take on such a multicharacter focus  and more than a few balls are dropped in the resulting juggling act  alleged lastminute edits and reshoots are more than likely to blame for the occasionally rushed development and ambiguous interaction  since  54  sometimes feels like its missing a scene here or there  nowhere is this more apparent than in shanes relationship with soap opera actress julie black  neve campbell   a frequent studio 54 patron whom hes long admired from afar  the romance is prodded along before it has a chance to transform into something special  that  54  works despite these limitations  then  is largely due to the competence and energy with which its assembled  sure  its shallow  slick  sanitized portrait of a bygone age  and sure  weve seen the ragstoriches story gazillions of times  but debut director and screenwriter mark christopher keeps things moving with lively snapshots of the studio 54 hustle and bustle and an even livelier cast to inhabit his bouncy vision  the film boasts some fine comic creativity  the pinnacle of which is disco dottie   the wedding singer  s ellen dow   an elderly dancing queen who plays the loving grandmother in public  but slides up to shane behind 54s closed doors and asks for a  funky little treat   the solid  sexy cast smooths out  if only while youre caught up in the film  any rough spots belonging to their alteregos or the plot  newcomer phillippe has the charisma and joisey accent down pat  he and campbell  as fetching as ever  look so good together its a shame their subplot goes nowhere  meyer exhibits the congenial appeal that made him a delight to watch in  clueless   he was the stoner with the jokersmile   while hayek simply sizzles  especially when leading a dance class with the mantra   one  two  three  attitude   sherry stringfield  unidentifiable under big 70s hair  takes on her first bigscreen gig since she left  er  as rubells accountant  but shes criminally underused  as the droopyeyed  drugaddled steve rubell  myers is worth the price of admission alone  when hes not playing the life of the party  the ex  saturday night live  comedian strips away all of rubells confidence and swagger to show a man desperately trying to fill his empty  unhappy life with exorbitance  its a moment worthy of pity when  while lounging on a bed of money and vomiting from a particularly heavy evening  he attempts to seduce one of his employees  and while his performance is largely serious  myers mixes the empathy with a delicate  austin powers  esque wink  thus keeping consistent with  54  s overall feel  gaudy  largerthanlife and satisfyingly ornamental  not unlike a giant disco ball  
pos	in 1994  an insiders look at a scandalridden run for the democratic presidential nomination  closely based on clintons 1992 campaign  was written anonymously  former newsweek writer joe klein later claimed true authorship   now  the book  primary colors  has been made into a movie  directed by mike nichols  and  in light of recent presidential scandals  seems to be more relevant than ever  but the film is more than a diatribe against  or a paean in praise of  the president  it is a fascinating look at the political machinery  and the ethical quagmire  that surround modern politics  jack stanton  john travolta  is the governor of a small southern state running for the democratic presidential nomination  he is charismatic  but has several flaws which threaten to doom his campaign  and strains his relationship with his wife  susan  emma thompson   the film is told from the point of view of henry burton  adrian lester   grandson of a civil rights leader  who is swept away by stantons ideals and helps to organize the campaign  he joins political strategist richard jemmons  billy bob thornton  looking an awful lot like james carville   and campaign advisor daisy green  maura tierney   governor stantons past repeatedly pops up to haunt him  a fact that his chief rival  lawrence harris  kevin cooney   consistently uses to his advantage  to help clean up the stanton campaign  jack and susan bring in an old friend  libby  the dustbuster  holden  kathy bates   the acting throughout primary colors is superb  it would be worth seeing the movie for bates wild performance alone  she enlivens the atmosphere with energy in a truly boisterous performance  travolta does a fair clinton impersonation as governor stanton  although his accent does stray a little  emma thompson delivers a strong performance as his suffering wife who cant let anything show that might hurt the presidential run  the problem with political movies is that they tend to alienate over half of their audience by promoting one side or the other  or else the movie is vague to the point of boredom  primary colors treads lightly on this issue  though stanton is clearly portrayed as a democrat  and there are a few minor barbs thrown in the way of republicans  the movie touches on few actual political issues  in fact  most of the  bad guys  are fellow democrats on the same road to the white house  rather than issues  the film is primarily concerned about scandals and spin control  although the film strays into some obviously nonclinton territory  it is difficult to completely separate it from reality  particularly when certain scenes seem to highlight the presidents current troubles   primary colors chief problem is its length  it runs about 15 minutes too long  there are some scenes which could have easily been cut  for example  midway through the film  the candidate gives a speech to an assembly of laid off machinists  the scenes only apparent purpose is to establish stantons character  which has already been done in similar scenes earlier in the film  the extra length isnt long enough nor tiring enough to be annoying  but it mars an otherwise excellent film  republicans  democrats  and political agnostics should all be able to find something to like in primary colors  its a funny  and at some times shocking  look at the modern political process  
pos	this movie was one of the first american films done by director paul verhoeven  he has done films since then such as basic instict and starship troopers  all of his movies have one main thing in common they dont skimp on the violence  in a verhoeven movie a guy doesnt get shot once in the chest he gets shot many times all over the body  robocop takes place in detroit in the future  things are pretty bleak  the company ocp rules the city with an iron fist and is moving in on running the police force  peter weller plays a cop who goes on a mission with his partner  nancy allen  peter weller goes in an empty room alone and gets killed  meanwhile ocp has a failed demonstration of a ed209 model robot crime fighter  someone comes up with the idea of having a cyborg robocop so they use any parts worth scalvaging from peter weller and make him into the robocop the movie is titled after  the plot of this movie generally runs at a decent pace  it drags a bit towards the end with robocop wanting to finish everybody off  but plot twists keep it exciting  the acting is bad from weller when he is human  but very good when he is robocop  nancy allen does a decent job  this movie doesnt leave itself open for a sequel exactly  but they made one anyway  enter    robocop 2 starring  peter weller and nancy allen directed by  irvin kershner detroit is in a more bleak state than it was in the first film  ocp is trying to develop an improved robocop 2 that will be more than a match for criminals  most of the police force is on strike due to ocp taking it over  leaving robocop to be the police force in the city  this film is pretty bizaare  it has a 13 yearold druglord who curses as much as eddie murphy  even more violence than the original  and some more humor  the plot of this movie is pretty large  almost too much so  there are three or four plot lines weaving around that dont really match up  the effects are still decent though  this sequel isnt more of the same really  just a darker version robocop dealing more with drugs than with armed criminals  if you liked the first one  watch this  but be dissapointed  so later comes    robocop 3 starring nancy allen and robert john burke ocp is now owned by a large japanese company  robocop joins a band of rebels to counterattack the evil empire  i mean ocp  the japanese send a cyborgninja to deal with robocop  among other things    this movie is easier to follow than the last one  which means the plot isnt quite as crowded  this movie isnt anything special though  just more of robocop blasting things up in a more kidfriendly way  really not reccomended  
pos	eyes wide shut isnt the masterpiece many were hoping to see in stanley kubricks final film  but it is an impressive achievement  a mesmerizing  haunting  adult psychodrama about marriage  fidelity and sex  its a stanley kubrick film from beginning to end  consistently exhibiting the auteurs trademark penchant for long  continuous takes  his unparalleled deftness behind the camera and his uncanny ability to extract gorgeous performances from his exhausted cast  indeed  eyes wide shut attained infamy even before its release for its notoriously laborious shoot  kubrick  a renowned perfectionist  reportedly held his cast  hostage  on the set for nearly a year   in an uncharacteristic maneuver  kubrick cast two bigname stars in the lead roles  namely reallife husband and wife tom cruise and nicole kidman  they play bill and alice harford  a volatile couple who  during the course of a couple nights  ponder the validity of the idea that a husband and a wife must be faithful to each other  he is an m  d   shes unemployed and we are introduced to them as they are getting ready to go to a fancy party  at the affair  they are both propositioned and both nearly succumb to the temptation to play around with someone else  when they return to their lavish new york apartment kidman  after smoking a dash of weed  inquires whether her husband had sex with two models who approached him during the night  he  truthfully  says that he did not and asks what happened with that hungarian guy she was dancing with  they proceed to argue until alice tells her spouse a lustful story  evidently some time ago  she had a thing for a young naval officer  she admits that she was ready to give up her whole future with bill and their young daughter if this guy wanted her even for one night  bill is jolted by alices story and we anticipate his reaction  but at that moment he gets a phone call and has to go  show his face  at the house of a justdeceased patient  this turns out to be the beginning of a long and eventful night on the town  the daughter of the dead patient hits on him but he wisely turns her down  he almost does the dirty deed with a kindly hooker who approaches him on the street  then  through a series of coincidences  he winds up at a gothic mansion where a ritualistic  and frankly  creepy  orgy takes place  with costumed people performing various public sex acts on each other  erotic dread mounts as cruise  whos not supposed to be there  wonders the spacious halls watching the  action  until he is discovered to be an outsider  much hoopla has been raised over the fact that warner bros  digitally edited the orgy scene  with the help of a computer  they put in cloaked figures to block some of the actual sex acts  they can still be seen  just not in all their glory  in order to avoid the dreaded nc17 rating  european viewers will see the film as kubrick envisioned it  roger ebert calls the american version the  austin powers version   and many others have bashed the alterations  i am of the potentially controversial opinion that the figures only supplement the scenes mystical atmosphere  the first thing one notices about eyes wide shut is how it looks  this is an artful  distinctively gorgeous production  shot in dark  moody hues and featuring some elaborate  beautiful scenery  from the giant mansion used in the films centerpiece to the decor at the christmas party to the harfords apartment  this film is always a pleasure to look at  to boot  a great soundtrack makes it more atmospheric still  at the core  behind the graphic  controversial content and unappealing mood  this is a goodnatured movie that emphasizes the importance of fidelity  it looks at sex as almost perfunctory by portraying it as unnerving rather than erotic  its something superficial and yet something necessary to achieve a deeper relationship  at the end  it seems  bills eyes are wide open to the special kind of love he and his wife have for each other  more meaningful than anything he could ever hope to find on the streets of new york  kubrick elicits wonderful performances from both cruise and kidman  tom is completely convincing as dr  harford  a man who seems guided solely by destiny  with no control of the course his life will take  nicole projects a quiet intensity as the jittery yet aggressive wife and her performance is stunningly effective  shes headed for an oscar nod  the movie has some help from a similarly strong supporting cast  at the head of which is directorcumthespian sidney pollock  enigmatic and articulate as harfords mysterious friend  eyes wide shut is not perfect  the last hour could have used a slightly more scissorhappy editor and both cruise and kidman are too good looking for me to believe that either would have a very strong temptation to philander  still  this is an important work from a great director  and while it may not be on par with some of stanley kubricks best it is a worthy final film  a complex exploration of jealousy and faithfulness   1999 eugene novikov137  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  milos formans first film since the illfated valmont  columbias the people vs  larry flynt  is a vastly entertaining  if not particularly enlightening  biopic of hustler publisher and selfmade millionaire larry flynt  who became an unlikely champion of freedom of speech rights in the united states in the late 1970s and early 1980s  the film unweaves its tale in a chronological order  we open with young and dirtpoor larry flynt and his brother jimmy  peddling jars of water in true entrepreneurial spirit out in the rural outback of kentucky  cut to forward in time  where the two flynt brothers  now young men  are running the struggling hustler gogo clubs in cincinnati  the strip clubs are in a dire financial state  and in a lastditch effort to salvage the operations  flynt decides to go to a print shop and churn out a promotional newsletter  this evolved into the adult periodical hustler magazine  creating larry flynt a vast financial empire  and the rest is history  what sets flynt apart from other publishers is his struggles against those who would have him cease publication of his adult material  and who railed and preached against him  flynt spent time in incarceration and was paralyzed by an assassination attempt  and his driven  singleminded insistence to buck the system and fight for his freedom of expression  regardless of personal cost  the people vs  larry flynt also weaves in the bittersweet story of flynts true love  althea leasure  whom he meets as a dancer in his club and later marries  and who devotedly stands alongside him throughout his trials and tribulations  considering the serious nature of the films theme  the importance of the united states first amendment  the people vs  larry flynt is surprisingly and wonderfully lighthearted and humourous  much of the comedy is elicited from larry flynts outlandish stunts at his courtroom appearances  some of his chosen apparel is hilarious  and for the most part these elements of the film work far better than some of the more dramatic points  such as an uninspiring flynt monologue set at a free speech rally in front of an enormous american flag dealing with the subjectivity of obscenity  the films focus is on the flynts many battles over first amendment rights and freedom of speech  but the heart of the people vs  larry flynt is the touching love story between flynt and althea  larry flynt is shown as being occassionally gruff  harsh  and overtly aggressive with his friends and colleagues  but with althea  we see his loving  affectionate side  theres a scene where flynt tenderly takes his ill wife on a ride on his wheelchair that is heartbreaking  ultimately  the emotional power that the film hits at its conclusion comes not from his achievements from his battles against censors  but from the strength of flynt and altheas love for each other  woody harrelson is entirely engaging in what must be certainly a careertopping performance as the irrepressible larry flynt  harrelson plays flynt with the right mixture of outrageousness and confident stubborness to make him endearing and entirely sympathetic to the audience  and a very compelling protagonist for the film  courtney love plays althea leasure in a startling turn  completely raw and impulsive  its a very solid performance  brash and naturalistic  and love is extremely compelling  its difficult to take your eyes off her onscreen  and her chemistry with harrelson is deadon  edward norton  as flynts straight  levelheaded lawyer is often upstaged by his flashier costars in the people vs  larry flynt  much as his counterpart lawyer alan isaacman was upstaged by flynt during many of the courtroom scenes  but norton shines in his big scene where he addresses the supreme court in the climactic scene of the film  one can sense the frustration that nortons character feels when harrelsons freetalking flynt sabotages trial after trial on him by openly speaking his mind  and this results in a heightened emotional punch when nortons isaacman has the opportunity to sway the supreme court judges  milos forman keeps the film moving  although it runs over two hours  it never drags  and his direction of the film is very effective  eliciting a great deal of empathy for a subject which could be construed by some as extremely sordid and unsympathetic  theres also a great visual technique which forman uses to indicate the passing of time in one shot  which is both clever and extremely entertaining  two minor quibbles with the film  it certainly seems like the people vs  larry flynt is in a rush to get to its main theme  with flynt battling against authorities and the system for his freedom of speech  consequently  the first thirty minutes of the film  introducing and setting up the characters  seem unduly rushed  perhaps it is merely due to the fact that these characters are so interesting  but i felt it would have worked better if this route was taken in a more leisurely fashion  it also felt like there was a distinctive lack of insight into the inner workings of these characters  the film clearly shows what flynt  althea  isaacman  and rev  jerry faldwell did  and on a superficial level some of their motivations  but it never seemed like one could really understand the characters on a deeper level  for example  why larry flynt was compelled by ruth carter stapleton  president carters sister  to be bornagain is a mystery to me  then again  perhaps it was to him as well  these two points dont detract greatly from the film  the people vs  larry flynt is certainly among the very best studioreleased films of 1996  and works both as a ringing political statement about the importance of freedom of speech and the depths to which larry flynt would go to advance the cause of free expression  and as a touching love story  
pos	until i saw the night of the hunter  it had been a long time since i had gasped while watching a movie  forget the others and the deep end  which veered toward strained dramatics   the night of the hunter is by far the scariest movie ive seen so far this year  even though the movie is nearly 50 years old and theres a not drop of blood to be seen  luckily  the night of the hunter  charles laughtons first and final directing gig  has been restored by the ucla film and television archive and is being rereleased in october 2001  so  theres still plenty of time to spill your popcorn all over the place  robert mitchum stars as harry powell  a reverend with a nasty habit of courting and then killing widows for their cash  his newest target is young mother willa harper  shelley winters   whose murderer husband ben  peter graves  has hidden 10  000 somewhere  powell finds out about the stash and decides to court mrs  harper after hes released and ben is hanged  but finding the money isnt easy for powell  who must contend with his stepchildren  billy chapin and sally jane bruce   who know where the money is  but arent telling  the hard part about seeing a classic now is the pop culture monster has usually drawn and quartered and then flaunted all the memorable moments  thus ruining the spontaneity and adventure when we finally watch it for the first time  how many spoofs or salutes to the shower scene in psycho have we seen in other movies  what about the brilliant baby stroller sequence from battleship potemkin   no  im not blaming brian de palma entirely for this sampling problem   yes  there are some visual elements that other directors seem to have borrowed from the night of the hunter  powells  love  and  hate  knuckle tattoos obviously influenced spike lee in do the right thing  remember radio raheem    and powells black suit  with black tie and white shirt  could have shaped quentin tarantinos early visual style  seeing the night of the hunter for the first time  i was amazed at how much it crackled with wicked wit and fright and how much intensity was intact  you can now sign me up as president of the robert mitchum fan club  he plays the role with a controlled malice that induces unease every time he appears  hes like the senior class president with an evil streak  if i ever need to stay awake  ill just picture him crooning   leaning    leaning      any actor who wants to play a character with a touch of evil should study his performance the way a rabbinical student studies the torah  and credit must be handed out to laughton and cinematographer stanley cortez  who create a series of haunting  surreal shadowy images over the rural depressionera backdrop  its a testament to both men that theyre able to invigorate what has become a hackneyed storyline  kids harassed by evil guardians  by sticking to the old maxim that were more scared by what we dont see  screenwriter and legendary film critic james agee does a beautiful job giving shape and substance to an array of supporting characters  the drunk birdie  james gleason  whos haunted by his wife  and the spoons  evelyn varden and walt spoon  whose marriage has become a verbal vaudeville act  the only lapse is the movies third act  when pearl and john run away from home and find a home with the motherly  biblereading mrs  cooper  lillian gish   her showdown with powell is memorable  a battle done with dueling hymns  however  the whole segment feels a little rushed and underdone  but its still a thrill seeing the queen of the silent film era handling a shotgun  do yourself favor and dont miss this if it comes to a nearby theater  note  a series of revealing  but overlong  outtakes preceded the movie  the highlights included the legendary laughton  who sounds eerily like mr  pitt from seinfeld  running winters lines with mitchum  and the adorable  tiny bruce having trouble descending a coal pile  hours more of such footage exists  as laughton liked to keep the cameras constantly rolling  screened as part of the 2001 new york film festival retrospectives  feature story coming soon   
pos	jamaica is a hot vacation spot  the exchange rate encourages delusions of wealth  approximately 30 jamaican dollars to one american   the sea is a brilliant blue  the air is warm but lacks humidity  and as tourism is unfortunately jamaicas biggest trade  foreigners enter and leave with a sense of relaxation  life and debt takes a brassy look at life inside this impoverished country  while normal documentaries take the sally struthers approach of underlying scenes of starving children with tearful music  this film guides the viewer with a sarcastic voiceover that brings the troubles home without begging tears to the surface  the voiceover is written by acclaimed author jamaica kincaid  it guides the audience along a tourists journey and the story of the native inhabitants  instead of telling you what you are already seeing on screen  it quips   you dont see what happens after you flush the toilet   this engages a viewer to see and think about devastation instead of merely being told it is there  this strong  sparse storytelling approach runs throughout the film  stephanie black is also intelligent in how she chooses to disclose the problems faced by the locals  this isnt just another talking head show of people moaning about their horrible lot in life  people are interviewed from all sectors of occupation  from field to factory  as well as social theorists and the banking organizations that continue to invest in the country  the variety of discussion perpetuates a compelling internal dialogue with any viewer  whether they are seeing jamaica for the first time or not  of course  as can be expected  the united states is slammed  owing to its involvement with the international monetary fund and the world bank  officials look moronic as they explain why their plans for jamaicas economy will help the country back on its feet  but only if they are willing to follow the advice word for word  the next moment we see why and how each of these initiatives has failed  usually due to imports being cheaper than local labor or whether or not the soil is appropriate for the next agricultural trend the u  s  is forcing on the citizens  admittedly  some of the back and forth between the businessminded organizations and the failures they produce gets repetitive  but it also drives home the impact ignorance can have on both sides of an international argument  but jamaica isnt against the united states  and this documentary does not accuse the u  s  of being the sole perpetrator of its grief  if anything  it begs for a better understanding of the nature of jamaican society before stepping in to change it based on foreign regulations  
pos	denzel washington is among the many actors this holiday season to give very impressive milestone performances  this perhaps may be washingtons very best to date  he joins matt damon and jim carrey in having the talent  this season  to become his character  copying mannerisms and personal styles perfectly  his very believable performance makes the long and uninteresting  the hurricane  a much better film than it actually is  when his rubin  hurricane  carter feels pain and is tormented by racism  he creates for the audience a great sense of sympathy  disgust  and maybe even some embarrassment from the fact that this is our very own country that is breaking laws to support silly prejudices  the horrific true events carter suffered from all of his life are slightly more disturbing and terrifying because they only took place a few decades ago  the powerful expressions of denzel washington alone  as his tortured carter  sum up the troubles of racism in americas history  he is that amazing  the problem with  the hurricane  is that when compared to washington  all of the other actors are not nearly as memorable in their roles  mainly because the script focuses so much on carter  that it leaves little interest or room for the other actors  this is  without a doubt  washingtons movie but in order for any film to be completely satisfying  it must utilize everyone in the cast to their highest potential not just the stars  denzel washington is the only reason to see this film for his inspirational and very depressing tour de force performance  as rubin carter  we see a black man whose existence has been a punching bag for the white american court system  from the age of eleven to twenty one he was sent to a juvenile prison for a crime he did not commit  then after a successful marriage and boxing career  he was harshly imprisoned again for life after being framed for a triple murder  carters second term in prison seemed almost inevitable when faced off against jealous  powerful white men who refused to let him succeed  from these past experiences in jail  carter realized that he must make his case heard for all of america  after several court appeals  an autobiography  and many public marches for his freedom  carter remained locked in prison  it was not until a young black boy from brooklyn being educated in toronto read carters book in the 1980s  that a serious battle for freedom took place  the young boy and his three canadian guardians decide to dedicate all of their time to the case until carter is released  the greatest scenes in the film are when carter begins to lose his mind after spending three months in isolation  washington really shows the breakdown of carter when after swearing he would never go to jail again  he is unfairly framed at the height of his innocent career  the devastation in washingtons eyes show a man who has struggled to do the right thing his whole life only to be punished for it  in the hole  carter attempts to maintain emotional balance but he cannot  his anger is heightened to a point of no control  we see multiple carters  a violent angry one  a silent passive one  and a mediator  we see an emotional boxing match inside carters head  from this point in the hole to the end of the film  this fight continues  it is very apparent at times which side is winning the battle and in some scenes there is a direct switch from angry to caring or the opposite  when carter sees that white canadians want to help him get out of prison  the angry carter at first erupts  white people have been trying to hurt him his whole life  this reminder leads to anger in his head  however  as the film continues and the canadians continue to help carter we see the calm side him  he realizes that society is changing  that racism is decreasing and now carter wants to leave jail immediately and become a part of this world  very rarely have i seen such determination to perfect his role as washington has done here  if only the other actors had this same determination  dan hedaya  ridiculously plays the man who sends carter to prison twice by forcing witnesses to lie and switching evidence around  it felt like his character was taken straight out of a  scooby doo  episode  he would have gotten away with it if it wasnt for those annoying little kids   the kids  in this film are the three canadians who are terribly underused making their relationship with carter underdeveloped and unbelievable  the lawyers who help release carter also are underused  as is clancy brown as a kind prison guard  the complete opposite of his character in  shawshank redemption    there is a great amount of talent in this supporting cast but it just never appears  hedaya was superb in  clueless   same for david paymer in  get shorty   harris yulin in  ghostbusters  and liev schreiber in  the daytrippers   it is a mystery how this many actors signed on to such shallow roles  on the other hand  it is absolutely no mystery why denzel washington agreed to play rubin  hurricane  carter  this role is about as far off from shallow as you can get  
pos	note  after claiming otherwise  my appetite was indeed whetted by kenneth branaghs hamlet to search out other attempts to translate shakespeare to film in hopes of finding a better mousetrap  as it happens  it didnt take long   is there a more romantic director than franco zeffirelli  known mainly to american audiences as the man behind 1968s romeo and juliet  required viewing for many high schoolers  and as much as most ever learn of shakespeare   he is also a favorite at the metropolitan opera  where his achingly beautiful designs further the already lush emotion of many a puccini aria  last year he gave us his beautifully realized version of jane eyre  one of the twin peaks  with wuthering heights  of romantic literature  it might seem peculiar  then  that zeffirelli ever had an interest in translating hamlet for the screen  at first blush  hamlet is far removed from romance  the hero  though a prince  is depressed  conflicted and confused  the ostensible love interest gets little screen time  and her scenes with her prince are usually as an object of mockery  the plot is full of political intrigue and the players are as cursed as the house of atreus  it is zeffirellis genius  however  that he is able to expose the romantic core of hamlet and give the sometimes dry tale an emotional embrace  in this italian masters hands  romance is everywhere  in a sons worship of his father  in the bonds of deepest friendship  in the private thoughts of young lovers  even in the mystery of castles by the sea  after all  the story hinges on a ghost  and what could be more romantic than that  what seemed like a cheap way to sell tickets at the time turned out to be one of the most romantic gestures of all  namely  hiring thenreigning hollywood hunk mel gibson to play the lead  who could believe that the man who made his mark playing mad max and a  lethal weapon   in the series of the same name  would have the skill to succeed in the most famous role in the english language  franco zeffirelli  thats who  and it is apparent in every frame that his instinct was right on the money  what gibson brings to the role is a naturalness and ease which makes the whole story meaningful  not to mention comprehensible  his line readings sound spontaneous rather than rehearsed  his movements and gestures  excepting his sometimes too active eyes  are totally in keeping with the character  this is a hamlet whose pain we feel  whose struggle we empathize with  and whose death we mourn as sincerely as horatio at films end  glenn close  the other big name in the production  also does well by the script and satisfies as hamlets mother  gertrude  though i must confess im still trying to understand the character as written   zeffirellis incestuous interpretation of hamlets relationship with his mother doesnt help   alan bates makes a believably evil claudius without resorting to the mannerisms of a hollywood heavy  by and large the rest of the cast performs admirably and comfortably  of special note are the cinematography by david watkin and the score by ennio morricone  both support the realistic mood marvelously  as do the sets and costumes   without any overstated effects that declare  this is important  this is shakespeare   i particularly appreciate that the words are often spoken without any music at all  the melody of a wonderfully wrought phrase is given its due  perhaps it is difficult to call edited shakespeare  definitive   and there are certainly quite a few other filmed versions of hamlet that i have not seen  but if youve ever felt the urge to overcome your fear of the bard  this hamlet is an excellent place to start  
pos	the happy bastards quick movie review me tarzan    you happy viewer  for a minute there  i thought i was going to be groaning over the release of disneys latest  another adaptation of a legend from the past   remember the pathetic pocahontas  yikes   but guess what disney  a company thats been on a roll lately with animated films  strikes again with another wonderful tale that pleases the eyes as well as the inner kid in you  the story is pretty basic tarzan is left orphaned and a female gorilla whos lost her young adopts him into her group  as he matures into a much older man  tarzan still wonders just why hes so much different from the clan  and then arrives a hunter  a professor  and the professors lovely daughter  jane who meets tarzan rather quickly after getting in trouble with a group of feisty babboons  from there  tarzan faces tough choices should he stay with the ones that he grew up with or go join his own kind in england  the voicework here is pretty toplevel  tony goldwyn is very convincing as the ape man  minnie driver adds a delectable touch to the alreadybeautiful jane  nigel hawthorne makes for a pretty nasty hunter voice  rosie o donnell keeps the laughs rolling as tarzans best ape friend terk  and wayne  newman  knight has his moments as a panicky elephant  the movie is superb throughout  mixing a great script with incredible computerassisted visuals  when tarzan treesurfs  a twist that was added on top of the same ol vine swinging and a great one  i might add   the camera twists and turns  allowing the trees all around to come to life vividly  i couldnt believe my eyes disney has come a long way since starting in a ballroom for beauty and the beast  and the musics not half bad  either  fortunately  theres no ridiculous singing characters here  just a great set of songs by phil collins that perfectly fit the mood  theres some great action sequences here as well  including a wonderfully done chase between tarzan  jane  and the aforementioned babboons  but  of course  its not all action theres a message here as well that has to do with family  this is easily one of disneys best animated films of the decade and its one i cant wait to put in my home library    that is  if my vcr still works in the year 2000  
pos	one of the funniest carry on movies and the third with a medical setting  the main story is about dr  james nookey  jim dale  who is disliked by his superiors  frederick carver  head of the hospital  kenneth williams   and dr  ernest stoppidge  charles hawtrey  who seems to dislike everyone  they attempt to cause him as much trouble in the hospital as possible and all the blame is laid on nookey  carver learns of a possible job opportunity from wealthy ellen moore  joan sims  on a distant tropical island and gets nookey trannsferred there  when nookey arrives at this island  he meets gladstone screwer  sid james  who has lived on the island just about all his life  screwer is in possession of a wonderful slimming drug made from natural ingredients  dr  nookey returns with the drug to england and sets up a new slimming business with ellen moores financial backing  however  nookey and moore face opposition from screwer who goes to england to cash in on the drug  and carver and stoppidge who want to know the ingredients to create a rival drug  the performances are all very commendable  sid james has a slightly ambiguous character to play this time and he excels in his role  kenneth williams  as usual  plays the unpopular and cunning head of the hospital  joan sims is entertaining as the wealthy benefactor and jim dale should really head the cast with his excellent portrayal of bumbling nookey  charles hawtrey plays an outofcharacter role as dr  stoppidge  the nasty and evil practitioner who wants to knock nookey off his perch  some critics have said that this combination of hawtrey and stoppidge does not work well  but i think that it at least gives hawtrey a new part to play instead of the usual dimwit characters  as a matter of fact  hawtrey is suitably cunning in the part  other regulars in the movie include hattie jacques as the matron yet again  but this part is probably her most boring matron  and barbara windsor as nookeys love interest and unofficial womens lib campaigner  goldie locks  both jacques and windsor play their parts well  patsy rowlands appears briefly as miss fosdick  and there are very small cameos from wilfrid brambell  from steptoe and son fame  and peter butterworth  the jokes are mostly very funny  the story is quite appealing  and the regulars seem interested in what theyre doing  although it is another medical carry on movie and some of the jokes are borrowed from previous movies  it still comes out on top  it is the best medical carry on  because of the above factors  a mustsee carry on movie  
pos	whenever writerdirector robert altman works in a specific genre  he has the tendency to rewrite it on his own terms  he made the west dirty in  mccabe and mrs  miller   1971   he parodied hardboiled detective stories in  the long goodbye   1973   and he transformed a cartoon into flesh and blood with  popeye   1980   the same holds true for his most recent film   the gingerbread man   which reinvents a genre that has developed at an exponential rate over the last five years  the john grisham movie  by the time  the gingerbread man  was completed  there was very little evidence that it was ever based on a story by grisham  theres no idealist young lawyer ala tom cruise  matthew mcconaughey  chris odonnell or matt damon  and it doesnt feature a great showdown in a courtroom  instead of being a grand ode to the powers of the legal profession   the gingerbread man  is a rainsoaked  southern gothic noir thriller with wildly eccentric characters  a twisting plot line  black humor  a somewhat bleak ending  and even altmans trademark fullfrontal female nudity  the central character of the film is rick magruder  who is unlike any of grishams other lawyer heroes  he is older  experienced  and rich  he drives a cherryred 80  000 mercedes that never gets dirty  even in the incessantly pouring rain of savannah  georgia  where the story unfolds  rick is in the midst of an ugly divorce with his wife  leeanne  famke janssen   and he rarely gets to see his two children  jeff  jesse james  and libby  mae whitman   a reason is never given for the divorce  but it isnt hard to surmise that ricks womanizing had a large part in it  whenever hes late to pick up the kids on his visitation days  leeanne always assumes its because hes been  screwing around   after an office party celebrating another of his court victories  he hasnt lost in eight years   rick becomes involved with mallory doss  embeth davidtz   one of the catering waitresses  he drives her home because her car has been stolen  and they end up in bed together  rick finds out that mallory is being terrorized and stalked by her slightly psychotic father  dixon doss  robert duvall   a grungy  stringy  barefooted old man who leads a commune of other greasy old codgers  it was actually dixon who stole her car that night  and when rick asks why  mallory replies that he always does  weird  stuff like that  as another character puts it  dixon is  a few beers short of sixpack   rick ends up convincing mallory to have dixon brought to court and tried for competency  he succeeds with information dug up by clyde pell  a private investigator friend  robert downey jr    and testimony from mallorys begrudging exhusband  pete randle  tom berenger   dixon is put in a mental hospital  but his commune buddies succeed in breaking him out  from there  the story delves into kidnapping  murder  doublecrossing  and even a hurricane that adds an ominous cloud of constant violence to the action  altmans cinematographer  changwei gu  gives the film a dark  soaked look  if it isnt nighttime  at least its raining  gu shoots the interiors  which are almost all dark wood paneling  with a minimum of light  a great deal of the action takes place in the leafy georgia backwoods  which altman uses to create an acute sense of dread and vulnerability  in the city there is danger enough  but when rick has to venture into the woods  you can almost feel him leaving all hope of civilization behind as he literally enters another world  altman has worked in just about every conceivable genre  from westerns to epic dramas to comedies  but  no matter what the genre  he is always sure to give it the altman stamp  which usually consists of all kinds of idiosyncratic quirks and little details that are often missed without repeat viewings   the gingerbread man  is no different  although his style is much more restrained here  however  without those little touches  the film could have easily slumped into a routine actionthriller  a great deal of the credit for the films success can be given to the actors  especially branagh  who rarely works outside of period pieces and his own direction  here  the british actor consistently maintains a serviceable southern drawl  while making an essentially contemptible character interesting and sympathetic  rick is an extremely flawed man  but branaugh brings real humanity to his character  without it  the entire film would fall flat because so much of it is reliant on the audience feeling ricks pain and frustration  the supporting actors also put in fine performances  including embeth davidtz  who is probably best known for her heartbreaking role as the jewish maid in  schindlers list   1993   tom berenger provides some gruff comic relief  and robert duvall spends most of his onscreen time just looking weird  it doesnt seem like he does much because he has very little spoken dialogue  but watch him closely during the films one courtroom scene  his entire performance is in his eyes and his body language  and few actors could have pulled it off without being either silly or overbearing  while  the gingerbread man  isnt in league with altmans greatest works like  nashville   1975  or  the player   1992   it is nonetheless a solid piece of genre filmmaking  which may prove a successful vehicle to restart his somewhat lagging career  some critics love to stamp films like this as  commercial   as if altman can only maintain artistic integrity if his films are aimed at a tiny audience and dont make money  altman has done something much better  he took what could have been a generic movie  and by investing artistry and effort  he made it into something more  
pos	 remember what the mpaa says  horrific and deplorable violence is ok as long as you dont say any naughty words   featuring the voice talents of matt stone  trey parker  mary kay bergman  rated r  filmmakers jump on reallife controversies faster than austin powers on felicity shagwell  the debate on whether cinema is to blame for teenagers turning into hoodlums has only begun to heat up  and already someones made a movie about it  and its not  thank god  a tragic account of a family ripped apart by the effect violence in films had on a teenage boy  instead we get a sharp  biting satire that takes no prisoners and leaves no conservative point of view unscathed  based on a popular  and controversial  cable tv show  south park  bigger longer and uncut can finally break loose of the shackles placed on the show by television restrictions and take bad taste to brand new heights  the movie is about a group of kids who sneak into a canadian rrated movie and learn some naughty words  when they exhibit their new knowledge to their moms  they decide to  blame canada   wage war against the neighbor country and execute  terrence and phillip   the flatulent actors in the obscene film  the kids form an alliance they name  la resistance   with the accent on the third syllable of  resistance   to save their favorite thespians  in a hilarious spoof of  tribute to   les mis  rables  in a subplot  one of the characters  kenny  who else   dies and goes to hell where he meets satan  satan and saddam hussein are lovers  you see  satan is a benevolent soul  while our favorite eastern ruler can only think about sex  apparently  too  if terrence and phillip are executed it will be the final sign of the apocalypse and satan can emerge from the deepest bowels of the underground kingdom to rule the earth  aside from being a brilliant satire  south park is also an allstopsout musical  with unforgettable numbers like  shut your f    ing face uncle f    er  and  cartmans mom is a big fat bitch   almost invariably its funny stuff  often juvenile but always funny  the same can be said for the rest of the movie  its intelligent but delivered in a sophomoric manner  i  e  toilet humor  endless profanity  etc    not that theres anything wrong with that  vulgarity  when done right  is my bag  baby  trey parker and matt stone  the twentysomethings behind the film and the show  paint a bullseye on the motion picture association of america and proceed to be the first to start trying to hit it  cruelly mocking the fact that the mpaas rating system will allegedly tolerate grotesque violence as long as obscenities arent uttered  the auteurs throw some nasty oneliner insults their way  the ratingsaplenty association isnt the only target of this unsparing banter  people who favor censoring movies over gun control are equally fair game  with the  blame canada  plot being a notsocheap shot at them  the distinctively lowtech  cardboard  animation is oddly effective  even more so than the state of the art  deep canvas  technique aptly demonstrated in the recent tarzan  its more pleasant to look at  less intimidating up on the screen  and most importantly it doesnt detract from the films concept as much as disneys admirably aweinspiring work does  the shows popularity has been waning as of late  and perhaps this movie is just the thing to boost its ratings  perhaps not  having seen the show on numerous occasions  i can say that its not nearly as smart or as funny as this movie  the series may be better off simply continuing on the big screen every couple years  parker and stone have outdone themselves to the point where i am forced to ask  must the show go on   1999 eugene novikov137  
pos	for this review and more  visit clear illusions  www  clearillusions  com  the majority of scary movies signal the fact that a character is about to meet their demise with cheesy music  worn out dialogue such as  ill be right back   or simply with the overall tone of the scene  how about a classic john denver song as a death signal for a change  thats the kind of bursting originality that allows  final destination  to invade the viewers mind  even days after seeing it  making one pause before ever entering a dark room  taking a shower  or even going to sleep  the unique and horrifying thriller is the best thing to happen to the slasher genre since 1996s  scream    final destination   directed by james wong and penned by jeffrey riddick  glen morgan  and james wong  the latter two being writers for the t  v  series  the xfiles   is a movie with wonderful ideas  and executes them effortlessly  its rare a film of this nature can grab an audiences attention these days  as the genre has seem to be completely worn out   but  final destination  has more in store for one than one can imagine  unlike  halloween  s michael myers or  nightmare on elm street  s freddy kruger   final destination  s killer is of the supernatural  the dark one himself  death  the intriguing premise is as follows  a portion of a senior class is set to travel by air to paris for their class trip  after boarding the plane  one of the students  alex browning  devon sawa  dreams of their plane exploding into flames just after takeoff  killing everyone on board  once waking up  alex gets himself and six others off of that plane  all of who seem to be rather confused by the entire happening  shortly after their departure  the plane takes off  and guess what  it blows up in middair  now  alex  and fellow survivors  who consist of friend clear waters  ali larter   enemy carter  kerr smith   carters girlfriend terry  amanda detmer   the goofy billy  sean william scott  and his brother tod  chad donella   and teacher  ms  valerie lewton  kristen cloke   are in extreme danger  as it seems they have cheated death by getting off of that plane  and now death wants them  the number of survivors starts to peel back quite quickly as death goes around offing those who got off the plane   but who is next  and how will death get them   final destination  is a film that is unbearably suspenseful  always making the viewer frantic  as death will strike in the most unlikely of times  john denvers  rocky mountain high  being played pretty much warrants another death   everyone on that plane learned the hard way  although its usually given whose life will be taken next  the intensity and unpredictability of the film never fades  because you dont know when death is coming  like the characters in the movie  i was constantly nervous and shaky during  final destination   the slightest noise or movement nearby would send me a mile into the air    and yes  the film is that intense  the cast is surprisingly effective and up to par  the best ensemble in this genre since  scream   the characters have multidimensional personalities for a change  and for the most part  you highly sympathize with them once death starts to come their way  devon sawa and ali larter are the main focus of the film  and both actors follow up their well written characters with even better performances  that  like the  scream  movies did for their cast  will launch them into superstardom  kerr smith and kristen cloke are also impressive  although the two dont posses as much screen time as the leads   final destination  is one exhilarating  exciting ride  any age should be able to enjoy the complexity and eeriness of the film  and should find an edge to it that most slasher films lack  for the blood loving moviegoer   destination  contains buckets of blood  guts  and all that good stuff   final destination  is a film that is destined to become a cult classic among horror fans  and a sleeper hit at the box office  hands down to the first film in years that has actually scared me  by scare  i dont mean making me jump  or making me wonder if im in danger  but by scare i mean a film that stays locked in your mind  absorbing you  leaving one question thats constantly on your mind  is death coming for me  the bottom line  make  final destination  your destination  
pos	errol morris  critically acclaimed director of the 1997 documentary fast  cheap and out of control  vaults to new heights with mr  death  this film  an examination of the life and work of controversial execution equipment designer and revisionist historian fred a  leuchter  jr   is sure to draw audiences out of their malaise  stunning even the more jaded minds among us  dont let the films cheesy dissuade you  following this sideshow of horrorlab special effects we are plunged quickly into a nonstop exploration of the weirdness that is leuchters life and mind  morris follows the trail of leuchters madness with appalling lucidity  revealing in a surprising and frightening way what most of us could have guessed to begin with  this leuchter guy is seriously messed up  virtually raised within the american penal system by a father who worked within prison walls  leuchter seems to have come somewhat naturally into his profession  designing and maintaining execution equipment for state penitentiaries  in spite of his lack of credentials  after a moderately successful career making electric chairs and designing gas chambers and gallows  leuchter came to the attention of neonazi and revisionist historian ernst zundel  who was facing criminal charges in germany for publishing his theory that the holocaust never happened  morriss interviews are surprisingly congenial  drawing the subjects into a carefree banter that gives them more than enough rope with which to hang themselves  zundel speaks to the camera as though it were his mensch  leuchter seems completely at ease  sometimes jovial  part of this effect may be due to morriss new interviewing machine  called the interrotron  which is responsible for creating eye contact between the subject and the interviewer  this was the first time morris had used the device  and the results are startling  combine the irony of these interviews with leuchters reenactments and reels of creepy stock footage of his trip to auschwitz and birkenau  not to mention a haunting clip of thomas edison electrocuting an elephant  and youve got one compelling and disturbing documentary  while this film isnt for the feebleminded or weakhearted  it is a valuable addition to the cultural landscape  aside from a few dragging minutes toward the end of the piece  morris has given us a fresh look at a dismal subject and i  for one  feel bettered by the experience  
pos	summary five liberal iowa graduate students share a house and carry on a tradition of a large sunday dinner  for a year now they have been inviting a guest for dinner and discussion  on this occasion one of the roommates  pete  ron eldard   brings home a stranger who picked him up when his car broke down  the stranger is zack  bill paxton  who appears like a decent enough good samaritan  nothing could be further from the truth  after some dinner conversation it appears that zack is  among other things  a racist  you know my grandfather once said that if he knew you coloreds were going to be so much trouble wed have picked the damn cotton ourselves   and an antisemite  an argument escalates at the dinner table and leads to violence  after zack assaults marc  jonathan penner  and pete  zack is killed  the roommates are at odds with what to do  marc  pete and paulie  annabeth gish  immediately wish to call the police  luke  courtney b  vance  and jude  cameron diaz  suggest something different  after more discussion they agree to dispose of the body and cover it up  they do not want to be sent to jail for what they feel was a justifiable homicide  when it is done the roommates realize that it was easier than they thought  so easy in fact that they decide that every sunday their dinner guest would be someone who opposes of their views  if they all agree that the guest deserves to die  they will poison them and bury them in the back yard  the back yard fills up rather quickly  its victims including  among others  a right to life extremist  an antienvironmentalist and a homophobe  by the time the roommates get to their tenth victim they begin to question their methods  are they giving the guests a chance  are they even giving them good food anymore  this film is what i like to call a  hidden treasure   this film is such a pleasant surprise  a well written  devilish satire that is funny  sexy and original  this film should be a hit  but i guess the fact that it apparently had no marketing wouldnt give it much of a chance  i had never heard of it until i saw a copy at my video store  stacy title does a wonderful job directing  she somehow finds the time to give all of the characters enough screen time to develop a distinct personality  from the five members of the house to other key characters including sheriff stanley  nora dunn   the local law closing in on the truth  and the dream dinner guest  norman arbuthnot  ron perlman   a rush limbaugh clone who should be the roommates easiest kill  perlman gives the films best performance  he finds the right note as the right wing big mouth who simultaneously offends and gains followers  and may just inadvertently talk his way out of death  the other actors are convincing as well  as all of the roommates deal with their murderous ways  some of the characters appear to be heading down the road towards insanity  while others grieve their decisions  when friends ask me to recommend a movie  this is usually the first one i think of  i am not saying that this is my favorite movie  although it is in my top ten   but because the film was such a wonderful surprise  i have a fondness for it  i also try to recommend films like this  ones that have not been seen by many people  but should  
pos	i can already feel the hate letters pouring in on this one  folks  i loved the wedding singer  but it gets worse  if i so much as mention titanic in the same sentence    hell  same paragraph as the wedding singer  im bound to be lynched  well lynch me then  because i thought adam sandler and drew barrymore had the most convincing chemistry in recent memory  with titanic as the only exception  right away  youre ready to discount my review  arent you  youre thinking that i cant possibly know what im talking about  after all  this is adam sandler right    well  theres more    i actually got choked up  and more than once  yes  the man who brought us billy madison and happy gilmore was able to bring sincere tears to my eyes  but before you shrug me off as an imbecile  i urge you to see the movie and see for yourself  the wedding singer is the story of robby hart  sandler   a 1985 rock star wannabe whose soul achievement in life has been performing cover tunes at wedding receptions for the past five years or so  but when his own wedding results in a noshow for the bride  angela featherstone as linda   robby begins to reexamine his life  and wonder why true love doesnt exist for people like him  in the process of performing at these receptions  robby meets a waitress named julia  played with wholesome sweetness by drew barrymore  whose reputation is anything but this character  julia too is engaged  and when robby finds himself without a wife  his free time allows him to help her plan her own wedding  seeing as how her fiance  the  miami vice  loving glenn  matthew glave   doesnt seem all that interested  as the time goes by  we learn the reason glenn is do dispassionate about the wedding  hes merely marrying julia to prevent a breakup  something he wants to avoid even if he does sleep around with tons of other women  its obvious that robby is going to fall for julia and feel a strong need to rescue her  but what is a lighthearted romantic comedy for  this isnt sleepless in seattle  but id actually compare it to that before id compare it to happy gilmore  while the wedding singer maintains some of that postsnl cornball humor  its sincerity and charm carry it a very  very long way  sandler is great in his role  and yes  if you allow it  you can take him seriously  barrymore seems perfect along side him  and although the two more likely represent genx moronism and partygirl ditzism  respectively   the two go together like bread and butter as a mideighties couple  one scene in particular  where julia ponders the future in a mirror  is so well done  i was on the verge of tears  unfortunately  sandler is going to make a lot of people shrug this one off as a nobrainer  but its got so much surprise substance packed inside that im encouraging everyone to go see it  in fact  the entire theater applauded when the film ended  and laughs were so consistent  some jokes were probably missed due to the uproar  the 1985 setting was milked for everything it was worth  and for those of us that are old enough to remember it  it was a bodacious trip back  and done very well   sandler shows a new side to himself while maintaining all his original charm  or is it anticharm    while the wedding singer only deserves three stars due to artistic merit  grading it on pure enjoyability would give this one four stars  its hilarious  and its touching  its got that great cheezy humor  but it also takes sandler to a higher level than anyone expected  this is one to see again and again  is it possible the wedding singer could be one of the sweetest romantic comedies of 1998  my  magic 8ball  predicts it is certain  
pos	hollywood is a pimp  a fat  cigarsmoking chump wearing a fur hat and 12 gold chains around its fat  hairy chest  all of its stars and starlets are an evil brood of scumsucking vampires looking for the next percentage take  the next summer blockbuster  the next casting couch to audition on  pumping out comicbook adaptations  terrible sequels to mediocre films  and remakes of foreign films to the nearest american movie multiplex mall theater equipped with thin walls and bad sound systems  how much longer can the works of peckinpah  fassbinder  fuller  castle  preminger  and lee be placed and forgotten in the wrong sections of the local blockbuster stores  how many more silver and weinstein films can we enduring in this stinky  decaying state of american cinema  but now  from john  i dont give a shit what you think about my movies  waters  comes the siren call to all frustrated filmmakers and aficionados  cecil b  demented  a warped and twisted tale of how far a filmmaker will go to create a personal vision of internal and social revolution  stephen dorff  in a careerdefining role  is cecil b  demented  a crazed director devoted to making the most radical underground film  together with his film production cult  the sprocket holes  who wear tattoos of peckinpah  lee  fuller  castle  anger  fassbinder  preminger on various parts of their bodies as badges of honor  they kidnap a hollywood movie starlet  played with perfect ridiculousness by melaine griffith  and force her to take the starring role in dementeds film  with no budget and no contracts for extras  demented and his crew take to the streets for production of raving beauty  a crass terrorist film about an angry owner of an independent theater and her brood out to destroy the mainstream film business  using  ultimate reality   with real bullets  real people  and real terror  demented and his crew of misfits attack a mall theater  terrorize the maryland film commission and crash a movie studio shooting a certain sequel to a really annoying tom hanks film  dementeds crewmembers are maimed and killed  popcorn machines are used for target practice  and no one can have sex until the film is complete  its like bowfinger  only  you know  good  the film moves with zigs and zags like the magic bullet of kennedys assassination  the zeal of dementeds cause catches quickly and conveys the urgent message of  doing something  anything  for the accomplishment of artistic motivations   the crewmembers all hold the quirkiness common in waters previous films  pink flamingos  hairspray  polyester  pecker  and speak in the choppy  jaded dialogue used frequently by waters  it is as if waters script strips away the unnecessary dialogue common to most pretentious indie films and just delivers the goods  cecil takes such warped avenues of expression that it seems like it might actually outdo itself  you can see how a major studio might take this film  reedit it  cut a deal with the remaining crew members who are still alive  and make a few sequels  a la the blair witch project  but thats for the future  overall  the ride is fantastic  its one of waters best films to date and this years fight club for filmmakers  directorwriter  john waters starring  stephen dorff  melaine griffith  alicia witt  adrian grenier  larry gilliard jr   mink stole  ricki lake  kevin nealon producers  john fielder  mark tarlov  anthony delorenzo  joe caraccio jr  
pos	back in 1998 dreamworks unveiled their first computer animated movie  antz   the film was critically acclaimed  and went on to gross almost 100m dollars at the domestic box office  again in 1998 they released their traditional animated film  the prince of egypt  and it named an instant classic  and became a huge hit as well  on a winning streak  they released  the road to el dorado  and it wasnt as big as they hoped  but still did ok  then they had the fantastic  chicken run  in the summer  now in 2001 dreamworks has released what i can safely name  one of the top five best animated films  shrek  mike myers  is about a loving  green ogre who lives in the woods of duloc by himself  surrounded by fairy tale characters  he hopes somehow he would escape from everyone  the ruler of duloc is the short  heartless lord farquaad  john lithgow   who is offering a reward to all the fairy tale creatures  if they are captured and arrested  of course many of the owners turn them in for gold and silver  but one of those creatures is donkey  eddie murphy   a regular donkey  except he talks and has a definite attitude  after his owner tries to disown him  he escapes into the woods  and runs into shrek  lord farquaad however  has different plans and makes all the fairy tale creatures in the woods near shreks house  to get his property back  and his life back shrek must rescue princess fiona  cameron diaz  so lord farquaad can be a king  shrek wants his property back  but he never thought he would fall in love with princess fiona   shrek  is such an amazing film  that while watching it you cant help but just smile the entire time and wonder why that other production company cant make movies like this  the animated graphics are so great  that they look every bit of realistic  i saw previews for this film all last year  and i thought to myself wow  what a great movie this will be  i must say i was not disappointed at all  and the film is the best of 2001 so far  and will go down on my best of 2001 list at the end of the year  the voice talents are brilliant as well  with the comic genius mike myers  in the past he has been a wayne  an austin  and a person married to an ax murderer  now he is shrek  not only does he do the voice talent    but he is shrek  with his irish accent  and he lovable personality  shrek becomes a friend to the audience and warms your heart  eddie murphy who showed his voice talent in 1998s  mulan  does another bang up job here  and he is the comic relief in the film  the tones of his voice  the lines he utters  and the jokes he gives  he even outdoes the comic genius of robin williams in  aladdin   the always beautiful cameron diaz gives the voice of princess fiona and she does a great job as well  she is very funny  and her character fits her to a t  of course the best supporting voice is john lithgow  who is personally one of my favorite actors  he as the bad guy lord farquaad does a great job in being both sinister and funny at the same time  at times i was so amazed by the computer graphics  that you cant help but just start looking at backgrounds  there is many hidden jokes in the film  and even reflections of light on the screen like a camera   shrek  is a definite kid film  but not just a kid film for it is a film for the entire family to enjoy  there are many adult jokes in the film that the kids wont get  but the parents will be laughing  believe me though  everyone will be laughing the entire way through  in the end   shrek  gives a very important message to its audience to enjoy and be who you are  everybody out there is beautiful in their own way  even though it may be inside  theres not many words that can praise  shrek  enough  but my words to you is to stop what you are doing and see this movie now  
pos	 say  any of you know how to madison    brad  asshole  majors  barry bostwick  shows just how unhip he is after watching the kooky transylvanians wrap up their ode to the time warp in the cult classic the rocky horror picture show  the story behind the rocky horror picture show is one of legend  in the early 70s  stage actor turned firsttime playwright richard obrien decided he wanted to make a musical homage to the crazy bmovies he had grown up with as a child  set to a bunch of catchy rock tunes of his own design  the result was the stage play the rocky horror show  which opened to fairly decent reviews in london in 1973 and was even hailed the best musical of 1973 by prominent drama critics in england  the play was so successful that the film rights were immediately snapped up and production on the film began a mere year later  in october of 1974  the film version  now titled the rocky horror picture show  was released in 1975    and immediately tanked at the box office  whether it was because fox wasnt quite sure how to market it to audiences or that audiences didnt quite know what to make of it themselves has never really been determined  but the one common bit of knowledge about the film was that it was a huge flop  it seemed that the infectious spirit brought about by the stage version had not been infused into the film version and fox quickly had it pulled from theaters  a year later  something entirely strange and magical happened  prints of the film started to be distributed to theaters in small amounts and were circulating at midnight shows across the country  and it was then that a whole new audience found the film  this new audience was prone to dressing up like the characters from the film  acting out segments in front of the screen as the movie played  yelling rude comments at the screen  and just generally having a good time  word quickly spread about this new phenomena of interactive film and the rocky horror picture shows life as the ultimate cult film was born  for the virgins out there who are unaware  the plot centers around a loving couple  brad majors  barry bostwick  and janet weiss  susan sarandon   who come from a small town called denton  brad and janet have just attended the wedding of two of their friends and decide that they also want to be wed  they plan a trip to see the man who led to their meeting  dr  everett scott  jonathan adams  who played the narrator in the original stage version   but their car gets a flat on the way to his home  remembering a castle they had seen back a few miles down the road  they decide to walk there and see if the residents have a phone they might be able to use to call for assistance  the castle is actually the home of a race of aliens from the planet transsexual  in the galaxy of transylvania   who are lead by the eccentric fishnetstocking wearing mad scientist dr  franknfurter  tim curry   franknfurter has masterminded the secret to creating life and has done so in the form of rocky  peter hinwood   as rocky becomes accustomed to his new environment  brad and janet find themselves at the mercy of franknfurters mad schemes  little do any of them know that the doctors handyman  riffraff  original author richard obrien   and domestic  magenta  patricia quinn   are actually transsexual planetary protectors who have been sent to stop frank from spreading his alien evil all over the earth  going back and revisiting this film after ten years  1990 being the first time i had ever seen it   it is amazing to me that this film ever got made or has had the staying power that it has  if i had been a fox executive around the time of its release  i dont think i would have known what to make of it either  for all intents and purposes it is a bad movie  though bad in a really good sort of way   but sumptuous production design and a great deal of incredibly catchy songs really help to increase the likability of the film  by the time the credits role  it is fairly easy to have gotten wrapped up in the film and its characters  and one really gets the feeling that richard obrien definitely was a fan of the old cheesy bmovies his film is based on  when i say that the walltowall songs are catchy what i really mean to say is that  once you hear them  they will be ingrained in your head for all of eternity  it goes without saying that the  time warp  is the most popular song in the film  even people who have never seen the movie know of that particular song  what those who havent seen the movie dont know though  is that there are even more songs in the film that are just as worthy of acknowledgment  my personal favorite is  over at the frankenstein place   but  dammit janet  is also maddeningly catchy  tim currys vocals on the rocking tune  sweet transvestite  need to be heard to be believed  the finale of the film  a big floor show staged by franknfurter and featuring most of the cast in garters and fishnets  including barry bostwick    frightening    features no less than four songs   rose tint my world    dont dream it    wild and untamed thing   and  im going home    all of which are immensely singable  the films true popularity and longevity resides in its audience participation though  despite the catchiness of the songs  this movie would have been long forgotten about if it hadnt have been for the multitude of folks who dress up every friday or saturday night to rush out and be a part of their own little floor show  watching this film at home is nothing compared to actually experiencing this in a theater with hundreds of rabid fans  unless you dont mind inviting friends over and letting them shoot water guns in your home or letting them throw rice and pieces of toast all over the place   note  director jim sharman brought back to the central characters of the film  in the form of a sequel  resulting in the very much forgotten film shock treatment  which picks up with brad and janet  this time played by cliff de young and jessica harper   as contestants on a game show in their home town of denton  the two are menaced by the evil tv station manager  also played by de young   who wishes to claim janet as his own  obrien returned as a writerperformer on the project  as did quinn  campbell  and gray in performance capacity only   but the film had nowhere near the spirit of the original  25 years later  this film is still the pinnacle of cult filmdom and is continuously screened at midnight all over the world  as a lasting testament to the longevity of the film and its legion of fans  a brand new special edition 2disc dvd set has been released that is the most comprehensive compendium of rocky horror to date  even out shining the laserdisc special edition that was released for its 20th anniversary   if you are one of those people who cant get enough of the film  this disc should be more than enough to satisfy your appetites  in an attempt to recreate the interactivity of the film  fox home entertainment has released this wonderful 2disc dvd set loaded with so many extras that itll take a good eight hours just to take in the majority of it all  the film itself is located on the first disc and has been given a beautiful transfer that shows it in its original aspect ratio of 1  85  1  enhanced for 16x9 televisions   the film is presented in two different versions  the us theatrical version and the uk version which adds a musical number during the finale called  superheroes   for ambitious viewers  the disc also includes a hidden version  located on the main menu by clicking left from the scene selection menu choice and highlighting a pair of lips in the lower left corner  which presents the film in the manner it was originally supposed to have been seen  originally  the film was to have been similar to the wizard of oz  with the first half of the it seen in black and white  and not changing to color until the transylvanians are first revealed to brad and janet during the time warp musical number   most reports  including a documentary on the disc  say that the color was supposed to appear when franknfurter first shows up in the elevator  but it does seem to work better where it was placed on this version  depicting the vast difference between the world brad and janet were used to compared with the one to which they are introduced  the film contains a commentary track by show creator  and faithful handyman  richard obrien and costar patricia quinn which is fairly enjoyable  and quinn immediately starts off by refusing to speak about sarandon nearly contracting pneumonia while having to walk around wet and halfnaked on freezing cold sets  which she apparently complained about the entire film and in future interviews   the two seem like old friends and have great stories to tell  but they also point out cast members that are sadly no longer with us anymore  and there are quite a few   fox has also tried to recreate the feel of attending the film in a theater with several audience participation segments  the first feature  and the most simple  is a subtitle prompter which lets you know when to open up on people with your water guns or when the right time to throw your toast is  the second feature is an audience participation track  which lets you in on what you might hear on a good night out at the show  most of the comments are unintelligible because it is basically just a large group of people screaming their heads off  but every once and a while a comment can be heard that will invoke a bit of laughter  the final participation segment uses a technology very much like the technology used on the matrix dvd  where a pair of lips will appear onscreen during certain scenes of the film  mostly during the musical numbers  that can be selected by pressing enter on your remote  when selected  you will be taken out of the film and into a live participation version of the scene put on during one of the many screenings that occur all over the world  once the segment is over  you are deposited right back into the film where you left off  the first disc also contains a few dvdrom goodies for those with that particular type of dvd player  there is a timeline of the evolution from the stage play version to worldwide cult sensation  a video jukebox  a you dont know jackstyled trivia game  which is about as bare bones a you dont know jack parody as it can be   and a bizarre madlibs styled word game known as riffraffs story lab  links to the rocky horror websites are also available from the dvdrom portion of the disc  the second disc features even more goodies for the person who loves extras  former literock video channel turned music historians vh1 have allowed some of their outtake footage from the  behind the music  rocky horror  special that they ran earlier in the year to be shown here  as well as a popup video for the meat loafsung  hot patootie   the  behind the music  segments are all very interesting  especially richard obriens jaunt through the castle  which is now a hotel   where the film was originally shot  there are also extensions of the sarandon  bostwick  quinn  obrien  and meat loaf interviews  as far as extras for the film itself go  there are two deleted musical numbers that are also included here  one of which is just the  superheroes  number available in the uk version  but there is also another rare musical number presented here called  once in a while   a series of alternate takes are also presented here  but none of them are really much of a revelation  except for the undressing scene in which we see that patricia quinn is having a hard time unbuttoning barry bostwicks pants   for the completist who must have every little bit of rocky horror paraphernalia  a misprinted end sequence and alternate credit sequence are also presented here  rounding out the disc is a decent documentary called rocky horror double feature video show  two theatrical trailers  proclaiming that the film is  a different sort of jaws    a still gallery  and two singalongs  for  toucha toucha touch me  and  sweet transvestite    foxs special edition is the dvd set that rocky horror fans have been waiting for all their lives   youre lucky    im lucky    hes lucky    were all lucky     its not just amazing enough that tons of classic italian films are finally getting their recognition in the u  s   but even long standing traditions are finally receiving their due on the wonderful dvd format  as with their excellent dvds of the abyss  fight club  independence day  and the sound of music  fox shows that they have most certainly made the commitment to provide the things that dvd lovers want  i raise a toast to them  cue the throwing of the bread  as i cut out the lights  sit back  and watch those disembodied lips begin to sing about bmovie tradition  r 
pos	in  magic town   jimmy stewart is in peak form playing a pollster who heads to a  perfect  town to gauge their reactions on the sorts of issues that only polltakers care about  however  as time progresses  and he finds himself falling in love with the town  and a woman   he begins to see that what hes doing is wrong  the plot is standard stuff  but thats not important  in a film like this  its the calibre of the actors that make or break it  obviously  since stewart stars  thats practically a nonissue  hes great in the film  as usual  theres just something about him that always manages to be endearing  even when hes deceiving the town folk  youre always on his side  and you desperately want to see all of his goals come to fruitition  the film was directed by a longtime frank capra scriptwriter  and it shows  this is the type of feelgood picture that capra is famous for  by the time  the end  shows up on screen  everything has been wrapped up very nicely  there are no loose ends  and virtually every character gets a happy ending  those that deserve one  anyway   in this age of cynicism  its refreshing to see a movie so upbeat   magic town  is a delightfully entertaining motion picture  if you believe all old movies are slowpaced  youd be welladvised to check this one out  
pos	kevin smith is like a big kid  his humor is that of a sophisticated juveniles  he grew up idolizing star wars and loves comic books  having also written a few  he also has a cult following  mostly composed of teenagers  college students  and smiths own fellow adolescentminded grownups  smith is hilarious in person and in writing  but when he tries to be earnest and moralize  that is when he goes wrong  kevin smith is a better writer than director  and hell be the first to tell you that  that might also be part of the reason why his moralizing comes across as so heavyhanded  great directors show us their theses instead of having the characters sermonize them  this was true in the overrated chasing amy  and it is true for dogma as well  that is not to say smiths message is a bad one  in dogma  smith tells us that problems arise when people believe beyond any doubt that their insight into god and gods desires is superior to anyone elses  basically  dogmatism is bad  changing the minds of the dogmatic is virtually impossible  and since the dogmatic believe that they have special insight  they also know what is best for you  whether you like it or not  this is not exactly a new message in movies  see inherit the wind   but i have no problems with recycling old ones  particularly since dogmas protesters are proving smiths point  smiths own problem with delivering this message is that he beats us over the head with it like we are reading a dogma for dummies book  but this is smiths personality  and his simplistic views neglect such adult issues as how does one interpret the bible  or koran  etc   correctly  or if there even is a correctly  and how one settles disputes of heretofore dogmatic concerns  the story concerns abortion clinic worker bethany  linda fiorentino  being chosen by voice of god  metatron  alan rickman   to prevent the destruction of the universe by two fallen angels  bartleby  ben affleck  and angel of death  loki  matt damon   along the way  forgotten thirteenth apostle  rufus  chris rock   stripper muse serendipity  salma hayek   and slacker duo jay and silent bob  jason mewes and kevin smith himself  come to bethanys aid  fallen muse  azrael  jason lee   proves to be the behindthescenes manipulator for all the chicanery  the logical but convoluted plot only exists as an excuse for the jokes and to make smiths points  and in itself  has little dramatic momentum  among the supposedly outrageous claims made by the film is that god is a woman  jesus was black  and the bible was written by a bunch of racist  misogynistic white men  of course  kevin smith does not necessarily subscribe to these ideas himself  they are a metaphor for the fears and insecurities of the dogmatic  smith says as much in his amusing disclaimer that precedes the movie  when harvey weinstein asked smith to put it into the film before cannes  smith thought it might give validation to protesters claims that the film was sacrilegious  but then he rethought it and turned the disclaimer into a joke  the films humor is uneven  some parts are very funny as when bethany goes for a fire extinguisher when metatron makes a burningbush kind of entrance  but many of the films jokes just bomb  as in virtually anything involving salma hayeks serendipity  also  some of the jokes can be seen coming from a mile away  still  smith keeps the zingers coming at a sufficiently rapid pace  among the actors  fiorentino and rickman stand out by far  fiorentino virtually by herself gives the film emotional weight  damon and affleck are fairly lackluster  rock and hayek exist in the film pretty much only as comic relief as are mews and smith  but the latter duo fare much better because jay and silent bob  who recur in all of smiths movies  are much more in line with smiths brand of humor  bud cort  george carlin  janeane garofalo  guinevere turner  and alanis morissette all make cameo appearances  
pos	review  ghost dog  the way of the samurai  1999  cast  forest whitaker  henry silva  cliff gorman  john tormey  gene riffini  victor argo  tricia vessey  isaach de bankole  camille winbush director  jim jarmusch writer  jim jarmusch rating  good shot  stars  languid  yet pointed and focused  ghost dog  the way of the samurai sublimely savages our cultural fascination with the mafia and the sleek  ultracool  cinematic image of the hitman  juxtaposing the samurais honor code of feudal japan against the tradition bound modus operandi of the americanitalian mafia  it ceaselessly chips away with a sculptors precision at the archaic foundations of both as they lumber  dinosaurlike  to function in the modern era  director jarmusch gleefully plays the iconoclast  ripping into mafioso precepts with splashes of acidic wit  using a palate of bleached colors  jarmusch lugubriously maintains a tone of desolation that belies the many sparks of laugh out loud humor punctuating the film  he doesnt cater to audience expectations of hypercolorized  stylized violence and gunplay where no one dies  the action is presented in flat  brutal codas  bullets have permanence  death has consequences  the movie rises beyond standard conventions to become a meditation on the concepts of honor and loyalty  it is an antimovie  of sorts  there are few photogenic  empathetic characters for the audience to fall in love with  this isnt a film that lovingly holds your hand  there are dark  contemplative moments and the film firmly holds you by the shoulder  just so  asserting itself for all to see  the fulcrum for the movies thematic balancing act is ghost dog  a mafia hitman  a twist on the stereotypical image of the mob enforcer  ghost dog is a hilarious contradiction in terms  unlike the sleek  muscular killing machines one is accustomed to  we are given an inner city black man who is overweight and slovenly  replete with chapped  dirty hands and rumpled clothing  he wears a hooded sweatshirt  which he often pulls over his head  giving him a monklike appearance  there are no acrobatic back flips and shiny super guns in his arsenal  he uses old  worn weapons and simply goes about his tasks in economical  efficient and pleasureless fashion  ghost dog is a disciple of the old ways of the samurai  distilling the essence of his life through the filter of a book  which he reads daily  hagakure  the way of the samurai  life consists of simple pleasures for him  ice cream  warm rooftop naps and good books  ghost dog lives  as it were  by the basic tenet expressed by his book  one should start each day considering oneself as dead  living atop an abandoned building  surrounded by his flock of pet carrier pigeons  ghost dog exists in a netherworld lacking creature comforts and friends  he craves nothing more  as he puts it late in the film   ive seen all i want to see   he exists in a spiritual world of the mind  gaining moral sustenance from his readings  ghost dog wasnt always as he is presented  in several roshomonlike flashbacks  its shown how ghost dog was assaulted by racist white males and beaten nearly to death until the timely intervention of a good samaritan  that  samaritan  being a foot soldier in an aging crime family  ghost dog pledges his life to the service of the man  louie  tormey   as repayment  after years of loyal service  ghost dog is sent  by louie  to kill  handsome frank   a made man within louies organization who has run away with the crime bosss daughter  louise  vessey   ghost dog wordlessly executes his task  witnessed by louise  whom he spares  as she sits watching a betty boop cartoon  clutching a copy of the book  roshomon  in a bit of synchronicity  louise loans the book to ghost dog  upset that frank was taken out by someone not from the family  the mob bosses  in turn  put out a hit on ghost dog in a perverse twist of loyalty to their assassinated comrade  the rest of movie holds the dated value systems of both the mafia and ghost dog up to the light of a new millennium with many acerbic asides as the two come factions come into conflict  the theme of old cartoons flares up time and again  each time showing cartoon violence that is in sharp counterpoint to the reality of ghost dogs world  each time a character is shown watching a cartoon  its from the same era  betty boop  felix the cat  etc   a reflection of days gone by  near the end  louise is watching a cartoon thats a departure from the previously shown ones  its a bit of audacity on jarmuschs part that is nicely effective  despite its surrealistic nature  as ghost dog floats through his world  his life is touched by two people  one is a sage little girl  winbush  who connects with ghost dog through their love of reading  she comes to symbolize a melding of the old ways and new sensibilities  just as louise ultimately does  by films end  the fact that jamusch is so effective at illustrating the tenuous bond between the two is a testament to his skill as a writer  the other person in ghost dogs world is an ice cream  de bankole  vendor who only speaks french  yet intuitively shares a rapport with ghost dog  the vendor is the literal stranger in a strange land  jarmusch  through rappercomposer rza  underscores his film with rap and reggae music  which at first blush seems dichotomous  but its primal rhythms serve to strengthen the fundamental nature of the movie  ghost dog seems to draw some type of strength from the rap music he listens to as he negotiates the streets in various stolen cars   which  in and of itself  presents another paradox about ghosts dogs sense of honor   the head mafioso is played by henry silva with a stone faced resignation  of all the cartoonish mobsters  he is the only one who appears self aware of his state in the world  gorman plays sonny  a lieutenant who respects the old ways  yet has a quirky affinity for rap music  a love comically shown in several impromptu displays  ruffini seems the truest reflection of the mafia  he is a husk of a man  assisted by two hearing aids  who barks out advice without truly hearing what he  or others are saying  whitaker carries the film by using what truly great actors use  his face  ghost dog is reticent to speak  often going for long periods without doing so  the fact that whitaker can convey such a wide range of emotion through a gesture or look is a remarkable talent  although the film has a deliberate pace  some of the late night drives and walks taken by ghost dog dragged the momentum down  truly tragic is how ghost dog misinterprets japanese honor in his final confrontation with the mob  he reveals himself to be so desperate for spiritual guidance through the hagakure that he fails to truly adapt it to what is real and true in his world  carried on the shoulders of a remarkable performance by whitaker  ghost dog rises beyond being a characterization or icon  into a figure that garners sympathy  if not a bit of pity  
pos	i rented  brokedown palace  last night blind  having heard nothing about it beforehand  and i enjoyed it immensely despite some flaws  for anyone wishing to have the same experience i would suggest reserving judgement of the movie until viewing it in its entirety  that is no easy task  superficially  it bears an unfortunate  and not necessarily unintended  resemblance to several other movies  notably  return to paradise  and  midnight express   as a result nearly every review of  brokedown palace  i subsequently read became hopelessly entangled in making the obvious comparisons  the consequence was nearly universal condemnation  which is a shame as this is a fine film  for those who have yet to view the movie  let me say that it is not an attempt to portray the nightmarish reality of the third world criminal justice system  as was  midnight express   nor completely the moral dilemma and examination of the meaning of friendship and humanity that was the heart of  return to paradise   in my view  if this film is to be compared to any other source it would have to be joseph conrads acclaimed novel   lord jim   problematically  the basic storyline seems more than familiar  two american teenage girls on vacation are sentenced to spend most of their lives in a thai prison for drug smuggling in an obvious setup involving a suave conman  a shadowy criminal conspiracy and a corrupt third world  justice  system  the girls are alice  claire danes  and darlene  kate beckinsale   theyre lifelong buddies who planned a highschool graduation trip to hawaii  and then secretly changed their destination to the more exotic thailand without telling their parents  once there  they find a 6 hotel and go sightseeing  which includes sneaking into a luxury hotel to sip expensive drinks poolside  they get caught trying to charge the bill to the wrong room  a minor transgression which will later come back to haunt them  but they are saved from hotel security by a charming  friendly australian  nick  daniel lapaine   who takes care of the bill with a more polished execution of the girls scam  he then proceeds to separate the girls and make smooth moves  first toward alice  then toward darlene  by now alarm bells are going off among viewers  the everpresent nick is too slick and his stories dont add up  to us  the girls  of course  are too naive to notice  long before it happens  were anticipating the inevitable disappearance of the fasttalking smuggler and the arrest of our teenaged sittingducks at the airport en route to hong kong caught holding the bag  literally  containing heroin  just as predictably  the thai police and courts do their part in meting out injustice and our trusting tourists are prisonbound for a long stretch  left unanswered is the red herring issue of whether one or the other of the girls was a willing accomplice  for those in need of a ready answer  might i suggest closer scrutiny of the bell hop at the girls fleabag hotel  as one door after another to their comfortable former life is closed  the girls and their families turn in desperation to the noiresque expatriate lawyerfixer  yankee hank   bill pullam  and his thaiborn partnerwife  a recurring element of the movie is the tension between appearance and reality as expressed in one of the films tag lines   who do you trust    and hank is no exception although seasoned movie goers and those familiar with pullmans oeuvre will find few surprises  much of the remainder of the movie is a smorgasbord of intriguing themes incompletely explored in shorthand fashion  lou diamond phillips  for instance  plays a delightfully sinister and callous dea agent who  while appearing to be casually accommodating to hank  withholds vital information at crucial moments  is he part of a wider conspiracy  with an inherently powerful  if somewhat tired premise  the film offers by parts a riveting courtroom drama  a prison story  and a potential character study of american teens  their relationship  and what constitutes friendship between them  the result is reasonably engaging and suspenseful  with the girls interaction  hanks investigation  and the various trials and hearings  offering hope for their release  delivering tensionas does the foredoomed possibility of their escape  if  brokedown palace  has a major flaw  it is its creators tendency  like timeconstrained tourists  to take frequent side trips down fascinating alleys only to reverse direction halfway down and return to the storys main avenue  and  if that were all there was to  brokedown palace   it wouldnt be a very good movie  but i believe the writers and director were after bigger game and  in this  they succeeded  for the main theme of the movie  like the proffered name of its location  is freedomin all its permutations  ultimately  the other subthemes may be considered window dressing  young and pretty  alice  danes  is an old soul  a wild  streetwise teenager with a thirst for freedom and adventure  presented as a perfect blend of yin and yang  dark and light  is her cautious best friend  darlene  beckinsale   cleareyed and straightforward  alice is more complex than her friend  she comes from a poorer background  has a reputation for getting into trouble and has lost the trust of everyone  including her own father   whereas darlenes life is  ontrack   aimed at college  marriage  kids  a career  a suburban home  middle age and  fulfillment   alices is uncertain  unfocused  and yearning  one poignant scene in the film shows darlene shouting across an open moat to visitorsfriends and relatives from home  whose lives continue while hers is in limbo  tellingly  alice is present but not included  just as revealing of their different personalities  when alice and dar first come to thailand  the openness and delight on alices face doesnt read as simple naivet   the way she stands up and stretches as she and her friend ride along in a small boat  reaching toward the sun  she really is drinking in what she believes to be freedom  while  dar  remains seated in the shade   brokedown palace  begins with an admission by alice of her guilt in a tape recording sent to hank  however unintentional  its all alices fault  shes responsible for persuading her friend to lie to her parents  to sneak away from the safety of hawaii to the perils of thailand  to try the petty scam which places them in the clutches of the evil nick   in case one misses this point in the inevitable confusion of a films beginning  darlene obligingly reminds alice of her culpability in prison   dar  of course  is the willing dupe which  in her view  confers innocence  never mind that it was her coercion of a reluctant alice to accompany her to hong kong which placed them in police custody in the first place or that her naive confession sealed their fate  dar is innocent  it doesnt matter  alice is the subject of this movie  she and her journey toward personal freedom  along the way we are treated to an unsympathetic portrait of the shallow american culture which created these girls with their halfbaked sensibilities and materialistic goals  in the end  that culture  like its representatives   yankee  hank and dars father  a  man who knows how to grease the wheels    proves as impotent as its government in the face of the girls tragedy  thailands culture  contrary to most opinion  comes off much better by comparison  it amazes me that reviewers argued this point at both extremes  i believe the filmmakers view was that thai culture is vastly different from the american but not necessarily inferior  the thai  with the sole exceptions of a corrupt official and a spiteful prison spy  were uniformly consistent in their behavior and true to their principles  the girls were shown to be treated no better but certainly no worse than the nativeborn  their prison  in stark contrast to the probable reality  was no hellhole  being relatively clean and sunlit  the prison authorities demanded good hygiene  provided medical care when needed  and  hard manual labor  consisted of picking grass  the thai guards were authoritarian  what else   but certainly not routinely sadistic  as for the thai justice system  the reasoning of the thai judges  during both an appeal hearing and in the films penultimate scene was devastating in its logic and morality  freedom has many faces and  brokedown palace  explores many of them  in the extreme  we have freedom of the body and freedom of the spirit  some settle for the former alone while others remain imprisoned with an entire nation to roam without the latter  but freedom seldom comes without a price  which is why the movies other tag lines are   what is your dream   and  how far would you go   i believe i could make a good case for the interpretation that the person who attains freedom  incarcerated or not  by films end is alice  she finds redemption and salvation through the acceptance of personal responsibility  i think the light bathing only her figure among the assembled prisoners in the final scene visually signals that fact  kate beckinsales character might more properly be likened to the  released  temple bird referred to twice during the film   trained to fly back to its cage   as the thai magistrate observed in the films climactic scene  the issue was always one of  character   and the jamaican prisoner made it clear that  freedom  is achieved within oneself  if one thinks back over the movie  which character was transformed by their experiences  increasingly  the cinema landscape seems to have become littered with endless permutations of kung fu womanfemale characters virtually indistinguishable from male action figures  here  at last  is the story of a modern heroine  in reading the many users comments  i was struck by what seems an unusual phenomenon  whether or not a person liked the movie  almost everyone praised the actors  think about that  when was the last time you came away from a motion picture possibly hating it  but raving about all the performances in it  do yourself a favor  rent  brokedown palace  and watch it with a open mind  theres more there than meets the eye  
pos	everyones heard about this movie  and more specifically   the  scene  everyones heard the famous barnyard animal quote squealed  no pun intended  over and over  and everyones got to admit that they will never travel down a river again without thinking of deliverance  good  thats what youre supposed to do  oh  if you are one of the ones who hasnt seen this yet  or you  somehow  havent heard about what happens  heres your spoiler warning  deliverance was a real shocker for its time  1972   major advances were being made in films  and deliverance made its own advances when it introduced a new horror into the film industry  when it was first released  it literally shocked the audiences  it was something that  for the most part  had really never been seen on the big screen before  among widerelease films with an r rating   but by todays film standards and in todays world  such scenes as the one in deliverance can be reproduced in a way that isnt as shocking  although they can be even more graphic  e  g  pulp fiction   pulp fiction did it in a way  and expanded on it in a way  that it could even be interpreted as funny  but in 1972  deliverance was no laughing matter  the story centers around a group of four atlanta men who decide to take a rafting trip down a backwoods river in georgia while the river is still there and in its glory  the initial leader of the group is lewis  burt reynolds in his prime   a real outdoorsman and more of a daniel boonetype then any of the others  joining him are ed  jon voight   bobby  ned beatty   and drew  ronny cox   the groups first objective is to find someone  s  to drive their cars down the river to the point where they will end their trip  they make arrangements with a few mountain men  who accept 40  00 for the task  drew also has the famous  dueling banjos  competition with a local who is  let us say  genetically challenged  the men then set off down the river  with lewis  also the master at canoeing  leading the way  everything seems to be going fine  until the two canoes split up  leaving the unexperienced ed and bobby alone  they encounter two hillbillies  armed with a shotgun  who captured them  ed is tied to a tree while bobby is sodomized by one of the men  ed nearly receives the same cruelty  but lewis arrives just in time to fire an arrow through the rapists back  the other hillbilly gets away  and the men have to decide what to do with the dead body  disposing of dead bodies is done rather frequent throughout this film  while attempting to make a quick  paddle for it   both canoes tip over  drew  who was without a life jacket  was possibly shot and cannot be found  lewis suffered a rather nasty compound fracture during the incident and is in serious condition  this leaves ed and bobby  ed decides to go out and look for the remaining hillbilly  alone  with the bow and arrow  the question arises if he will be able to handle himself  as he horribly botched a first shot attempt at a deer  to which his comment  i wonder how anyone could kill a living thing  will have more meaning in the future  deliverance is definitely a wild ride  oops  im doing it again   it is extremely tense at some points and very dramatic  its definitely one of those  must see  movies and should be considered one of the classics of its decade  
pos	in october of 1997  audiences were dazzled by the horror surprise hit i know what you did last summer  the film went on to gross over 70 million dollars in the u  s   and even developed a cult following  much like the previous years 100 million dollar grossing scream  when the trailer hit theaters in september attached to urban legend  it looked like a wonderful followup  did it live up to the first film  the answer is no  jennifer love hewitt returns as julie james  a survivor of the serial killer that attempted to kill her and her friends a year before  she has been so upset since the incident  nightmares haunt her all over the place  but she has to move on  she know attends college  and is best friends with a funny  outgoing girl named karla  brandy   who is trying to hook julie up with will benson  played by newcomer matthew settle  karlas boyfriend is tyrell  the funny  outgoing type  who is played by soul foods mekhi phifer  freddie prinze jr  also returns as ray  julies boyfriend from a year ago  one morning  julie and karla are called up by a local radio station who are offering four tickets to the bahamas if they can correctly identify the capital of brazil  of course  they answer it correctly  and they are off to the bahamas  julie wants ray to come  but he declines the offer  so karla secretly invites will instead to help boost her plan of hooking him up with julie  after they arrive at their hotel  it is just them and the staff on the island  it starts off as the weekend of their dreams  something just had to come to mess up the one carefree weekend of julies life though  ben willis  muse watson  is back  and he isnt letting anyone survive this time  will ray come to the rescue before he can kill them off one by one  jennifer love hewitt and brandy turn in respectable performances  brandy in particular was impressive  considering this is her first feature film  you could see that the characters were horrified  and they would do anything possible to survive  matthew settle and freddie prinze jr  are a completely different story  lets start with settle  matthew is completely fake in this film  you could not believe a word coming out of his mouth  you could tell he was acting  and its reasons like him that this one isnt as good as the first one  he does do a good job towards the end  but that doesnt clear up the scars he already left on the film  freddie prinze jr  is almost as bad as matthew settle was  he is almost completely unbelievable  and the majority of his lines are completely meaningless and out of place  we dont see him as much as settle  otherwise he could have done just as much damage as settle did  mekhi phifer is alright as tyrell  but yet again the dialogue is out of place  the plot of i still know turns out to be a pretty good one at the end of the movie  i like where the filmmakers went with this second installment  but maybe if it occurred in the same town as the first one  it would have been a bit better  the cinematography and setting of their island are simply wonderful  there are a lot of very nice shots around their hotel  the sound is pretty good  but still not as creepy as the first films  jennifer love hewitts song   how do i deal  is also played for about thirty seconds  i still know what you did last summer is nothing compared to the first film  the first film was very suspenseful  and it contained some very memorable scenes  the last fifteen minutes of i still know what you did last summer really picked up  and almost reached the same level as the first film  before this part in the film  there are many unnecessary deaths and fake scares  that is okay though  because the film is still very much fun and there are a few suspenseful scenes  i think the reason this film wasnt as scary as the original was because in the first one  the killer terrorized the people involved in the incident  he made them suffer for what they did  in the second film  ben willis just kills anyone he feels like  he doesnt stick with ray and julie  who were the ones he is actually after  he had to go after karla  will  and tyrell  if the characters he stalked were in some relation to the incident that went on when he was ran over by julie  ray  helen  and barry  it could have been much better  and it would have made a lot more sense  the bottom line not a disappointment  but a third in the series would be out of hand  
pos	brian depalma needs a hit  really  badly  since scoring big with the untouchables in 1987  depalma has seen casualties of war  raising cain and particularly the disastrous bonfire of the vanities go down in flames  consequently  it would be easy enough to consider carlitos way a shrewd commercial choice for depalma  reteaming with al pacino  scarface  and returning to the gangland ground which has yielded his two greatest box office successes  it doesnt hurt any that he has latched on to a solid story and brought out dynamite performances from pacino and sean penn  carlitos way  while hampered by depalmas characteristic excesses and stylistic cannibalism  is a truly tense and engrossing drama  carlito brigante  pacino  is a lifelong criminal who finds himself unexpectedly given a second chance  in 1975  carlito is released from prison after serving only five years of a thirty year sentence when his conviction is overturned on a technicality  he declares himself reformed  tired of life on the streets and determined to fulfill his simple dream of buying into a rental car business in the bahamas  among those who find this conversion hard to believe are david kleinfeld  penn   carlitos crooked attorney and childhood friend  and bodyguard pachanga  luis guzman   carlito rediscovers old flame gail  penelope ann miller   and seems ready to retire in peace  old ways die hard  though  and old associates pull carlito step by step back into a life he cant seem to shake  carlitos way will probably make the strongest impression with the two outstanding set pieces which bracket the film  in the first  carlito accompanies his young cousin on a drug buy which will have anyone with a pulse on the edge of their seat  the film closes with an equally thrilling chase through the new york subway and grand central station  both highlight depalmas gift for choreographed mayhem  and these are not the only occasions when the stage blood flows freely  yet for all the viscera  i found the character study even more compelling  carlito brigante has a lot of michael corleone in him  an aging gangster trying unsuccessfully to go legit  but where the culmination of the godfather saga played like opera  theres more of an immediacy to carlitos way  an everpresent sense of doom launched by the title sequence which sets the flashback story in motion  you sense that theres no way  after so many years  that carlito can stay out of trouble  indeed  he observes that his attempt at the straight life is more a function of time than a change of heart   you dont get reformed  you just run out of wind   pacino captures carlitos dilemma with surprising subtlety and the cautious observation borne of years of experience watching every corner for an enemy  sean penn is even better  turning in his best performance to date as kleinfeld  a jew in the world of puerto rican and italian wiseguys  kleinfeld is an outsider with a huge chip on his shoulder  he could have been simply pathetic  a heavy drinker and cocaine addict playing tough with guys way out of his league  but penn invests kleinfeld with tremendous nervous energy and an overwhelming survival instinct  he shows a man moving steadily towards the brink  making the moment he goes over quite jolting  as compelling as the narrative is  viewers may experience a profound sense of deja vu  depalma continues to steal shamelessly from other directors  this time adding scorsese to his repertoire with a point of view tracking shot and a copacabana scene with more than passing resemblances to goodfellas  he even recycles some of his own previous plagiarisms  like a 360 degree swing around a kiss  vertigo via body double  and the climactic shootout which will strike many as far too reminiscent of the train station sequence from the untouchables  from a story standpoint  theres an obligatory love story with a cliched longsuffering girlfriend character  penelope ann miller is a good but limited actor who doesnt do anything new with the role  and eventually she becomes just a distraction  never integrated fully enough into the story  still  its easier to be forgiving of superficial flaws when the backbone is so solid  the two principle characters held an iron grip on my attention  one all the cinematic thievery in the world couldnt break  carlitos way plays like a tragic novel  deliberate  confident and powerful  those willing to grant depalma his tendencies towards the extreme should find themselves well rewarded  
pos	ive never been a huge fan of jeff bridges  but i loved him in the big lebowski  the part of jeff  the dude  lebowski was reportedly written specifically with bridges in mind  and the fit is perfect  the dude is an unemployed denizen of los angeles  a hippie slob on a bowling team with a soft spot for white russians  hes enjoying a leisurely soak in the tub when two thugs break into his apartment demanding to be paid for the money his wife owes  after much pleading he convinces them they have the wrong guy  but not before they urinate on his rug  the dude assumes that these  collection agents  were after another jeff lebowski  a famous millionaire who also lives in l  a  so he goes to meet his namesake to ask for enough money to replace his rug  the millionaire refuses  but calls him back when he discovers his wife has been kidnaped  he wants the dude to act as gobetween for the kidnapers  dude and his friend walter  john goodman  take on the task  and get caught in an intricate web of kidnapers  millionaires  high schoolers  nihilists  artists  pornographers  thugs  and league bowlers  comedy is perhaps the most subjective of genres  so take my recommendation as you will  for me  the big lebowski is very funny  it is an incredibly successful comedy  the ratio of laughs to intended jokes much higher than in most films  not only are the two leads  bridges and goodman  funny separately and together  but each supporting character is a refreshing comic figure  all the characters end up as the butt of jokes  but the jokes are always deserved and never contrived  each person may be a comic caricature  but there is always a respectful selfacceptance that lets us laugh at these people without condescension  the characters are firmly established  and they never change their behavior for a quick  cheap laugh  its not what they do thats funny  its who they are  which is why the acting is so important  and so successful  in this movie  worth mentioning are john turturro as jesus  thats jeezus  not haysoos   the greaser bowler whos in a lusty marriage with the game  julianne moore as the postpostfeminist artist whose work has been described as  vaginal   steve buscemi as the eager tagalong bowler who is constantly rebuked and ignored by teammates dude and walter  and sam elliott as the rambling  longwinded narrator  aside from the performances  what makes all the characters funny and interesting is the astute dialogue  people lose trains of thought  they interrupt  they boast  they repeat themselves  they repeat their friends    they sound natural  taken with fargo  the coen brothers last film  it is evidence that the brothers are observant listeners and gifted writers  ethan coen is not just good at directing actors  hes also good at technical directing  he and cinematographr roger deakins created a beautiful world on film  perhaps  beautiful  is the wrong word  nihilists  carpetpissers and thugs are not objects of beauty  but the bowling photography and a series of vikingbowling fantasy dream sequences are lovingly photographed  as though the dude himself were in charge of immortalizing them on film  all around  the big lebowski is great  solid comedy  outstanding acting  writing  direction and photography all combine to make this a great comic success  
pos	synopsis  captain picard and the crew of the starship enterprise disobey federation orders and defend a peaceful community of 600  the baku  from the evil admiral dougherty and ruafro  the enterprise crew  in the meantime  experience the rejuvenating qualities of the baku homeworld  lt  worf grows a pimple  data sings opera pieces  picard scores with a baku chick  riker shaves while sharing a bubblebath with troi  and the enterprise women note their firmer breasts  comments   star trek  the next generation  was a hugely successful sequel tv series to  star trek   a science fiction series which developed a devoted fan following in the 1970s  even though it still enjoyed high ratings   star trek  the next generation  ended production after seven years so that the cast could replace the original  star trek  s cast in paramounts film franchise centering on the voyages of the starship enterprise  star trek  insurrection is the ninth  star trek  movie and the third to focus on the  star trek  the next generation  crew  star trek  insurrection qualifies as one of those movies star trek fans  such as myself  would rate somewhere between  okay  and  good   after star trek v  the final frontier  a nearly awful movie almost as bad as the repugnant  star trek  voyager  tv series   star trek  fans could probably swallow anything paramount throws out in the trek film franchise  i dont wish to spend this review comparing insurrection to the eight other trek movies  most people reading this probably havent followed  star trek  anyway  so a comparison would seem tedious at best  let me  thus  make my comparisons briefly so that its out of my system  star trek  insurrection is not as good as the previous installment  star trek  first contact  star trek  insurrections comic tone may be best compared to star trek iv  the voyage home  star trek ii  the wrath of khan is still the best trek movie  okay  lets move to the movie itself  star trek  insurrection infuses a basic science fiction premise  humanitys exploration and colonization of space  with a lot of lowbrow humor and witty oneliners  this combination works well more often than it fails  but when it does fail  the humor really seems cheesy  much of this film appeals to trek fans nostalgic fondness for the starship enterprises crew  audiences unfamiliar with trek lore may miss the significance of some plot points and may even become confused at times  star trek  insurrection begins with scenes of the tranquil life on the baku homeworld  forget the actors and special effects  the beautiful setting of this movie  with its snowy mountaintops and verdant valleys  steals the show  this tranquility  however  is broken by data  an android  who reveals to the baku that they are being secretly monitored by the federation and their alien allies  the sona  it seems that this world is a veritable fountain of youth  sustaining its inhabitants indefinantly in a young  healthy state  the enterprise crew  led by captain picard  investigates datas actions and uncovers a conspiracy between the sona and an enterprise admiral to relocate the baku and plunder the planets youthrestoring properties  sound pretty heavy  it is  though this plot  anything but unique and groundbreaking  is undermined by the films constant barrage of humor  when going after data  for instance  picard sings an opera piece with him  this is supposed to be cute and humorous   in a much more funny sequence  work grows a large pimple on the side of his nose as a result of his exposure to the baku homeworld  a pimple which his crewmates  try as they might  cannot avoid looking at  the acting in star trek  insurrection is  for the most part  pretty good  since theyve been playing these characters for years  those portraying the enterprise crew reassume their roles effortlessly enough  the terrific actor patrick stewart plays captain jeanluc picard and delivers a moral speech  picards trademark  with his usual aplomb  brent spiner  another fine actor  plays the android data well enough again and provides the best moments of comic relief in the film  though the old androidwishingtobehuman motif will tire some trek fans familiar with the routine from the tv series   the supporting cast who appear in this movie alone are also pretty good  despite many other critics negative opinions  f  murray abraham  the winner of an academy award for his performance in amadeus  plays the major villain ruafro well enough  ruafro reminds me  somewhat  of the baron harkonnen in the 1984 film version of dune  like the baron  ruafro continuously has his skin looked after  it is stretched and stapled by servants  in one particularly memorable scene  ruafro becomes very agitated  and his facial skin splits open and bleeds  ruafro is no khan from star trek iithe best trek villain everbut he is much better than the forgettable dr  soran from star trek  generations   okay  i promise  no more comparisons   donna murphy must also be noted as a baku woman  anij  who picard falls in love with  murphy is not a young woman with a supermodel body  she is a mature woman with an attractive countenance  this is the type of woman whom picard  for those who know the character well  would be enchanted with  in fact  the chemistry between murphy and stewart works very well here  a particular plot point involving anijs ability to slow time down  an ability which she shares with picard  becomes one of the most intriguing parts of the movie  for as good as the actors and setting were  star trek  insurrections special effects were surprisingly disappointing  they proved adequate  sometimes barely  for a 1990s mainstream science fiction film  but they fell way short of the standard trek movie and paled in comparison to those seen in the trailer for star wars  the phantom menace  a trailer which reportedly preceded many showings of insurrection   the space battles involving the enterprise and sona ships  in particular  seemed trite and unsuspenseful  and the final confrontation between picard and ruafro took place on a completely unconvincing interior of a satellite  the new enterprise itself  only seen in this film and its predecessor  remains largely unexplored  though its exterior doesnt look quite right for a reason i cannot explain  despite star trek  insurrections frequent comic goofiness and occasional substandard special effects  i enjoyed the film  it maintains roddenberrys largely optimistic view of the future and rejects the gritty violence of its predecessors  particularly star trek  first contact  though  dont get me wrong  the dark tones of trek films like first contact can work very successfully   id recommend insurrection as a matinee film for a saturday afternoon  especially for fans of trek or science fiction in general  rated pg  i cant see this film being objectionable to the viewing audience  young or old  
pos	us critictype people are always shaking our heads and telling everyone that movies arent thrill rides  but i think that  back to the future ii  is one of the few exceptions  if the original film had the spirit of the 1950s  then this has the spirit of the 80s  full of fights  chase scenes  cliff hangers  special effects  some detective work  and of course the vision of the hightech future  the film picks up exactly where the first film left off  with doc  lloyd   marty  fox   and jennifer  elizabeth shue  travelling 30 years into the future  because something bad is going to happen to marty and jennifers kids  doc tells marty he must take his sons place at an incident that will cause a chain reaction if marty mcfly jr  says yes to griff  wilson  in one of four different roles   whoever said history tends to repeat itself wasnt joking  especially when it comes to the movies  essentially the same chase scene that marty endured in the 50s takes place again in the year 2015  but its not as authentically exciting this time because it is so obviously a parody of itself  at the end of the situation marty has changed the course of history for the better  and it seems like everythings copasetic right  wrong  since when do things go according to plan in the  back to the future  movies  there are so many minor conflicts and details that effect the plot and the direction of the story i wont even bother to list them all  basically we get to see marty as an old man  his house  his family  etc  we also go back to an alternate 1985  and then back again to 1955  with everything happening so fast the film never stops to catch a breath  the films best aspect is the fact that it actually goes back to the first movie and shows a lot of the action that occurred from another angle  its difficult to convey the sense of wild and zany fun without describing every little detail  the only thing sacrificed in this film is the suspense  instead of a grand finale  we get lots of little victories  by the end everything is back to normal  but something happens that leads to yet another sequel  but it doesnt seem gratuitous   back to the future part ii  is a really great adventure movie  it certainly has more originality than other films but it lacks a certain charm that was dominate throughout its predecessor  
pos	magnolia left me relling from the theatre  staggering from the relentless assault of an adventurous director reveling in his craft  at nearly three and a half hours  magnolia will strike some as a brute of a film  it not only demands your attention  but challenges you to grasp the significance of seemingly unrelated storylines and hidden intentions  it is delirious  depressing  heady  pretentious  surreal filmmaking  its also a movie that will polarize its viewers  director paul thomas anderson takes a talented cast  wraps them in a net of interrelated stories and sets them spinning in a symphony of despair whose song doesnt let up until an oddly exhilerating  biblically influenced pseudoclimax  the characters make up a modern day gomorrah in the soulless way in which they live their lives  there is frank mackey  tom cruise   a slithery snake charmer of men whose  search and destroy  seminars teach how to mentally rape a woman to get into her pants  there is earl partridge  jason robards   a dying media tycoon yearning to make amends for a lfe of callousness by finding his estranged son  there is game show host jimmy gator  phillip baker hall   a self absorbed tv icon who is hiding more than a few secrets from his public  and there is police officer jim kurring  john c  reilly   who cloaks himself in the codification of organized religion and the legal system  perhaps masking a man who needs rules to fuel his decision making process  given equal weight are stories involving a cokeaddled emotional cripple  melora walters   a former tv quiz show champion  william h  macy   a materialistic  adulterous wife  julianne moore   a child  jeremy blackman  victimized by a mentally abusive parent  and a caring  empathetic nurse  philip seymour hoffman   hovering over all these characters is a cloud of death  lies and despair  it is not a pleasant movie  there is not one bad note in the acting  it is affecting and layered and wonderful  there is a moment where tom cruise wordlessly implodes that rivals work he has done in whole films  then he tops himself with a mesmerizing deathbed scene  walters plays her character with redeyed rawness and a fierce selfdestructiveness that is anxiety inducing  robards convincingly portrays a fading whisper of a man  who still hears a lions roar when he speaks  director anderson has apparently given the actors lattitude to emote  the problem is that he stays on them too long  julianne moores character  linda  quickly escalates to a frenzied pitch of guilt  tears  screaming and remorse and never backs off from it  after a few hours  it turns from interesting to chinese water torture  quite a few scenes  such as the game show  go on just a bit too long and will be offputting for those used to a pat 90 minute film where the main theme is reiterated several times just in case you missed it the first go around  and just what is the theme  alienation  hopelessness  anderson challenges you to draw your own conclusions and he doesnt make it easy  the film starts by showing three  strange and seemingly unrelated events  its a harbinger of the synchronicity to come  at times  different stories reach reach key moments at the same time  other times  stories seem to veer off into uncharted territory  regardless of what else is happening  anderson is audacious enough to even have a group sing in the middle of the film  whats surprising is that it mostly works  if you have doubts about andersons intentions  ill ask you to pay attention to the final frame  despite all the sturm und drang  magnolia ultimately speaks to mans capacity for hope and attempts at redemption  despite magnolias needlessly long running time and its propensity for uneven editing as anderson plays the auteur  showing off fro the masses  i have to admire his guts  this is truly adventurous filmmaking that spits in the face of conventional storytelling  my rating  a bulleye   stars  a side note  helping anchor the film is a perfectly matched soundtrack featuring aimee mann  her lyrics often add depth to a scene thematically while the actual music is both morose and beautiful  when she sings  save me  at the end  it enhances the yearning felt by the characters  just as  wise up  mirrors the anguish felt by all as they contemplate their lives  
pos	a group of high school kids mix up with a group of hiphop artists as a documentarian strives to discover why todays youth seem attracted to black culture  the review if black  white  the new film from writerdirector james toback  is eventually remembered for only one thing  it will be the revelation that brooke shields  claudia schiffer  marla maples and mike tyson can act  however  this partly improvised gem will be remembered for more than that  black  white is a fascinating film  it makes a statement about americas youth and hiphop culture without getting heavyhanded overly serious  featuring a cast of known commodities  ben stiller  robert downey jr   and hot newcomers  singers bijou phillips   tobacks is a complex film worth seeing  black  white has multiple storylines that are all related to each other  a la robert altman  there is dean the basketball player  allan houston  who is asked to rig games for money by mark clear  stiller  in exchange for fifty grand a game  this eventually spills over into the life of deans longtime friend rich  power   a gangsta who controls 20 city blocks of harlem  rich has to deal with the imminent opening of a whiteowned club on his turf  meanwhile  the young white girls who like to hang around with rich and his homies get talked into being in a documentary by sam donager  shields  and her gay husband terry  downey jr    others who make appearances are william lee scott as the young white punk will  joe pantoliano as his district attorney father  jared leto as a high school teacher  marla maples as the mother of one of hiphop crazed teens  claudia schiffer as deans girlfriend  and mike tyson as    mike tyson  the stories ebb and flow through the film  losing and gaining prominence over time  friendships are lost  lovers are gained  and there is an occasional burst of violence  originally rated nc17 in the united states  black  white features a lot of sex between black gangstas and young white girls  while the film was trimmed down to a tamer r rating  viewers will wonder what could be more explicit than what they are seeing  the threeway sexual beginning of the film nicely warns viewers of what they are in for  and several audience members got up and left at that point  the frequent sex is one of the films few flaws as the titillation is overdone and at times completely unrelated to anything else going on in the film  to tobacks credit  the level of violence in black  white is almost nil  these gangstas and hiphop artists are given real problems and concerns  and only become guntoting crazies when it benefits them to appear that way  whenever a character finds himself on donagers handheld digital camera  he starts spouting off righteous tirades on america and proclaims his independence  but not everyone has fully bought into the idea  charlie  phillips  is full of bluster about why she loves hiphop  but admits that  in ten years time  ill be way over this   these youth know they are going through a phase  and are simply enjoying it  toback fills the spaces between these tirades with scenes that are lightweight and funny  most of the humour comes from mike tyson  who provides the films comic relief without really trying  he is given big words like vernacular to say  and as rich tries to discuss a particular street problem with tyson  he frequently has to ask him to use smaller words and explain himself better  playing on tysons image as a dimwit  but tyson also gets the films scariest moment  as he is mercilessly hit upon by the very gay terry  tyson is a marvel to watch as he fights to remain calm  the scene is entirely improvised  with downey jr  being told to just keep at tyson until he gets a reaction  the reaction he gets  being slapped and then choked is astonishing  as downey jrs face turns a frightening shade of purple  black  white is a film about hiphop culture  and the films omnipresent hiphop soundtrack strongly supports this  but toback keeps things from becoming too serious  by moving from story to story as quickly as he does  toback keeps us from becoming attached to any one characters struggle  thus black  whites message about hiphop becomes secondary to the film itself  toback just wants us to have fun and maybe learn a little about hiphop along the way  and we do  
pos	one year has passed since the last time we saw them  and but wayne campbell and garth algar are back but  theyve moved out of their parents homes  and now have their own pad in an abandoned warehouse  waynes still hopelessly infatuated with his girlfriend  cassandra  and of course garth is still having his own  personal growing pains  they guys are just finishing off one of their shows  and head off to an aerosmith concert where they run across cassandra and her new manager  a stereotypical industry slime not unlike the character rob lowe portrayed in the previous film  again  the promoter is not only after the money that cassandras talent can bring in  the storyline quickly degrades to a parallel of the original   guy loses chick  guy realizes mistake  and guy gets chick back   fortunately  there is more to this movie than this somewhat sheer plot  the wit and humor in this film are surprisingly intelligent and fresh with many inside jokes on the film and music industries as well as just a lot of hilarious scenes of wayne and garth showing their true color  highlights of the movie include a spoof of jurassic park  garths seduction by a married woman  a surprise appearance by charleton heston  a 1960s batman setup in the guys pad  and some pretty groovy chats with jim morrison and some  naked indian guy   an unexpected lipsync of ymca  you could see that one coming a mile away  and of course a hilarious parody of those badlydubbed kungfu movies we love to laugh at  and if youve ever wondered why theres always boxes of watermelons  chickens  and people walking plate glass in the middle of streets  youll find out here  this movie also explores wayne and garth a little more  garth has somewhat of a  coming of age  and wayne gets to learn a little about himself  with a little help from our old friend  jim morrison   a few old jokes from the previous movie are explored here again  but this time with a few twists to keep them fresh  and luckily  few  if any of them are overused  overall  the movie has plenty of continuity flaws  especially in the fight scent between garth and cassandras dad   but these are easily overlooked as this is  after waynes world  the plot is flimsy but manageable  there are a few special effects  but they are fairly seamless  and fill nicely into the plot  the acting is good  for this sort of movie  but there are some very bright spots  in the big picture  this movie is just plain fun  there is lots of intelligent humor that makes this film special  during the whole one hour and 40 minutes  i didnt even think about looking at my watch a single time  silly  but riotous at times  this is an excellent movie even better than the original  
pos	john carpenter directed this stylish and gory vampire flick to which has its good side and its bad  its held up by some good performances and dazzling special effects leading up to an ending thats pretty satisfying  james woods gives an outstanding performance that almost covers up the movie  the good side  some neat scenes of vampires and violence  the bad  no scares  yes thats right  even though being directed by one of horrors most cherished directors  vampires is the least bit scary  if not at all  james woods stars as jack a vampire hunter out to stop the plans of the master vampire valek played by thomas ian griffith whom wants vampires to walk in the daylight  daniel baldwin plays his sidekick montoya  a wisecracking guy who really isnt that funny  in the opening scene jack along with montoya and the team of vampire hunters  find an abandoned house to which vampire occupy  of course we all know sunshine kills vampires  and that is just how they kill these vampires  hooking them to ropes and dragging them outside letting them burn to death  after throwing a party for what happened  the vampires that did not die come back to trash it  they kill almost all of jacks team  leaving only a few alive  sheryl lee plays a prostitute katrina who was bitten by valek  but not yet turned into a vampire  she is rescued by jack and  flees with them on their search for valek  they have to fight theyre way against vampires  leading up to a finale that is welldone with great special effects  vampires definately could have been done better  the makeup  special effects and story are first rate  but there is no scares or terror that the film could have had  it to me had more humor than horror  almost being compared to fright night with the mix of violence and comedy  john carpenter does a great job of directing this film  he eases through some tough times and saves the flaws  which are noticeable but forgettable  the script is clever and funny  with many lines that make us laugh out loud  i much enjoyed vampires with a few exceptions  its one of those films you see but dont take to heart  you enjoy the time you spent and go on  the recently released psycho is the same way  its not as good as youd hope but it is fun and entertaining  vampires is a good horror flick with no scares but plenty of other content to please the viewer  
pos	in the wake of the smashing success of  rumble in the bronx   its looking more and more likely that more jackie chan films will see american release  rumor has it that one of these films will be drunken master ii  the version i have is a copy from the laserdisc  its widescreen and bilinguallysubtitled  as are most hong kong films these days  availability over here in the united states is very limited  these films must either be purchased via pirates or sought out from asian distributors such as tai seng  the subtitling on the copy i have is slightly hard to read  the letters are white and a bit small  although the american release will almost certainly be dubbed  this review is of the subtitled version  so please keep that in mind if youre reading this review to help you decide whether to go out and see it  to be fair  i must admit that ive never been very fond of  periodpiece  martial arts moviesthe ones set in some nebulous china of the distant or not so distant past  perhaps its because most of those ive seen were filmed on inferior stock  with either butchered dubbing or allbutillegible subtitling  or perhaps its because their plots all tend to be very similar to each other and  in many cases  all but nonexistant  in fact  many of them get so wrapped up in their subplots that they seem to forget their main plot entirely until only a few minutes before the end  or  for that matter  it might be because the jackie chan films with more modern settings  armour of god  rumble in the bronx  etc   tend to have more spectacular stunts  often involving large motor vehicles and large explosions  whereas period pieces simply have the martial arts  having said that  i must now turn right around and say that drunken master ii is a remarkable exception to all or most of the above  is one of the better martial arts films ive seen  and i quite enjoyed it  surprised  well  so was i  drunken master ii is about a young man named wong feihong  played by jackie chan  who is a master of the drunken boxing style of kung fu  where he learned this style is uncertain  as his father  wong keiying  ti lung  is steadfast in his opposition to feihongs practicing it rather than some more normal style of kung fu  apparently  feihong is some sort of figure from chinese folklore  rather like paul bunyan is for americans  but ive heard very little about this  and could quite well be wrong  so ill leave analysis of that to the people who know it better  one of my friends points out that the character of wong feihong is also featured in the  once upon a time in china  movies  but i have not yet seen those  the plot of drunken master ii is somewhat hazy  as are the plots to many such films  but if youre watching a jackie chan film  odds are you arent expecting something on the order of  war and peace   the story seems to revolve around those evil foreigners who are spiriting away ancient chinese relics  and hence  chinas cultural heritage  while overworking  underpaying  and beating up chinese workers in a nearby steel mill  however  this plot merely serves as a framework for the other main story of the filmfeihongs perpetual struggle to win his girlfriend  supplicate his father  keep his  pregnant  mother  played by anita mui  from fighting  and keep from getting beaten up by evil foreigner thugs  the macguffin that drives the plot  s  is a precious antique jade imperial seal which is being taken away by the evil foreigners  in the beginning  feihong accidentally steals it while trying to recover an identicallywrapped box containing the medicinal ginseng his father was bringing back for a customer  in the process  he clashes with another thief  who is himself trying for the seal but ends up instead with the ginseng  after feihong narrowly avoids getting caught with the seal by the evil foreigners lackies  thanks to some timely intervention by a generals son  a cameo appearance by andy lau  who would later take on the starring role in drunken master iii    comedic chaos ensues back at the wong household when feihong and his mother attempt to come up with a replacement for the missing ginseng  and so it goes  and the plot thickens later on  such as when feihongs girlfriend maneuvers him into a kung fu match with a rival  or when feihong and the thief  now revealed to be a loyalist manchu officer trying to recover the seal and stop the evil foreigners  are attacked en masse  another grand kungfu movie tradition   but i think ive already spent more time on the plot than it really deserves  lets move on to the real draw of jackie chan movies    the action  theres plenty of martial arts action to be found in this movie    of course  in a kung fu film  thats to be expected  however  this isnt just another kung fu movie  this one has jackie chan doing the fight and stunt choreography  and jackie chan is a genius  the primary martial arts  style  featured in the film is drunken boxing  a form of kung fu which attempts to draw the adversary off his guard by making it seem like the fellow using it is drunk  further  for the purposes of this film at least  drunken boxers fight better when they actually are intoxicated    but theres a fine line between just drunk enough and drunk into a stupor  under normal circumstances  the idea of someone staggering around looking sloshed but managing to fight effectively and even incredibly might seem rather stupid  but jackie pulls it off with flair  the kung fu sequences are so intricate in their staging and execution that it is pointless to try to describe it on paper  so ill just say that the fightsespecially the big climactic fight at the endin themselves make the movie worth watching  another thing drunken master ii has going for it is the stunt work  even without motor vehicles  well  not counting a train   there are some remarkable stunts in this film  among other things  jackie dives off a balcony into a table and crawls across hot coals  not once  but at least twice  if you count the outtake shown during the credits    quicktime movies of these stunts can be found through the www movie database   unlike in american films  these stunts are not faked  drunken master ii stars several veteran actors of the hong kong movie scene  including jackie  ti lung   a better tomorrow  1  2   and anita mui  the  heroic trio  series   rumble in the bronx    the performances are firstrate  especially when it comes to the comedy parts of the film  the scene where feihong and his mother conspire literally behind feihongs fathers back to cover up for the missing ginseng root is hilarious  as is the scene where feihongs mother  having just revealed that she is pregnant  is threatening to hurt herself  in order to draw her husbands anger away from feihong   jackie has developed his knack for physical comedy into a sort of mastery over the years  and hes in fine form all through drunken master ii  as far as cinematography is concerned  it certainly works for this film  its nothing spectacular  but is at least a dozen times better than all those old kung fu movies of the 70s  the picture is crisp and clear  one thing i find particularly worthy of mention is that  at least in the copy i have  the screen was wider than any film ive ever seen on videotape beforealmost a whole 13 of the screen was blocked out above and below   watch this on a bigscreen tv or movie theater if you can   it will be an utter shame if this film is eventually panandscanned for american video release  drunken master ii shows the full potential of  period piece  kung fu movies  and its good enough to overcome even my usual distaste for such movies  the plot does meander a bit  but thats to be expected in this type of film  if you like this kind of movie  youll love this movie  and if not  well  give it a chance anyway  if nothing else  the martial arts and stunt sequences are by themselves worth the price of admission or rental  
pos	at first glance  three kings looks to be just another war movie  the 90s version of all those favourite war movies with names i cannot remember  the 90s version  it definitely is  just another war movie  not in your dreams  imagine pulp fiction approach to saving private ryan  thats three kings for you  believe it or not  it bears the cool of the former and the stark humane meaning of the latter  the story brings us to the twilight of the gulf war  with the allied troops victorious  majpr archie gates  clooney  leads an enterprising bunch of grunts to a rather unorthodox postwar looting spree  the millions in gold bars secretly stowed away by saddam in a desolate village in the desert  as the rest of the troops are celebrating their victory and getting ready to be shipped home  this wild bunch goes awol on an armed humvee  the vehicle of choice of the us army   they soon find out that they have much resistance  as they get tangled with the local rebellion against saddams forces  frequently switching their modes between looters and robin hoods merry men  they become consciously attacked by their own morals  as the film begins to roll  it seemed to have a rather light mood to it  special effects such as when gates describes to his men how a bullet can kill simply paves the way for a lighthearted funny action movie  three kings is much smarter than that  as the conflict becomes more and more complex  the audience will be trapped in a limbo  trying to stay focussed on that lightmoodseriousmood that the film seem to portray  i personally found this analogous to the same feelings of the main characters involved in the film  trapped between their initial plan paved by greed and their own sense of humanity  this simply made the entire experience of watching three kings truly brilliant  action sequences are not shot as your oldfashioned war films nor anything like steven spielbergs inyourface war violence  they are carefully built to generate tension with just the right tight closeups and pauses  right before the action starts  not john woo for sure but more of sergio leones spaghetti western style  tons of them starring clint eastwood   great performances by clooney and wahlberg but the brilliance have to lie in the conception of this film  the screenwriter and the director  three kings ranks among the best films of the year  well  for me at least  highly recommended  
pos	mickey mouse had better watch his back  theres a new critter in town  and hes the nameless animal attraction of  mouse hunt   dreamworks skgs clever first foray into family fare  although it runs out of steam towards its end  this liveaction comedy still boasts enough energized slapstick and inventive set pieces to best disneys entire 1997 nonanimated  kiddieoriented catalog    but consider that list includes dismal tripe like  air bud    flubber  and  that darn cat   and its really not such a difficult feat to pull off  still  throw the two rodents in a boxing arena  and ill be hoping that the mouse from  mouse hunt  knocks some sense back into mickey  nathan lane  robin williams significant other from  the birdcage   and lee evans  last seen as a nervous bellhop in  the fifth element   play ernie and lars smuntz  befuddled brothers who have just inherited two unwanted assets from their late father  william hickey  in his last role   a dilapidated old string factory and a dilapidated old mansion  although lars made a deathbed promise to upkeep the former  he and ernie decide to sell the latter for big bucks after learning it was designed by a famed architect  but theres a lone obstacle in their way  a single mouse lives within the walls of the house  and hes not about to give up his place of residence without a fight  movies aimed at young audiences are rarely this visually exquisite  the effects blending the talents of 60some live mice  one animatronic mouse and one computergenerated mouse are pretty seamless  the splendid production design seems to be straight out of tim burtons mind  the smuntzs architecturallyunsound mansion is like something straight out of  the nightmare before christmas   and the vortex of bizarre machinery in their factory resembles some of vincent prices warped contraptions from  edward scissorhands    mouse hunt  is a pretty dark movie  even some of the humor can be grim  but its hardly ever meanspirited  the star of the show is neither the topbilled lane nor the titular mouse  its lanky british comedian evans  whose hysterical bodily antics suggest a cleanedup jim carrey without the obnoxious overkill  note a toneddown but nonetheless outrageous impromptu striptease   evans banter with the everaffable lane is funny stuff  too  and holds its own against the movies more flashy physical shtick  vicki lewis  beth from  newsradio   is solid in a supporting role as lars moneygrubbing wife  and in a nifty bit of novelty casting  christopher walken is a macabre delight as a spooky exterminator who takes his job a little too seriously  popping a dropping into his mouth and noting to his tape recorder that the mouse has a  calcium deficiency   blech  a basically onejoke idea  a mouse outsmarts a couple of bumbling humans  is given a rather engaging execution  their sparring is imaginatively realized  i dont think ill ever forget the sight of that tiny little mouse making his getaway on a rolling wheel of gouda   and although you really never fully root for either side  thats okay  a warmandfuzzy union between the two parties is practically promised from the first frame they share   mouse hunt  may take a while to get going  the rather lengthy setup could test the patience of some of the younger children  although i rather liked it  much in part to lane and evans   and the climactic sequence is allowed to play out for a bit too long  but this appears to be one family movie that most members of the family will be able to find agreeable  not unlike the original  home alone   
pos	a miracle of filmmaking   some like it hot  is a brilliant film  and maybe the foremost example of slapstick comedy brought to screen with clever sight gags and plot twists  it is the pinnacle of writerdirector billy wilders career  a stunning feat considering the vast catalogue of films he had helped make  jerry  lemmon  and joe  curtis  are two stage musicians who go from gig to gig  trying to earn enough money to feed themselves  one night  as theyre playing at a banned prohibition speakeasy  the place is raided  as it turns out  the owner  spats columbo  george raft  was ratted out by toothpick charlie  george e  stone   several weeks later  on valentines day  jerry and joe go to a garage to pick up a car and end up witnessing a gangland murder of charlie by columbo in a parking garage  eager to escape  the duo are forced to take a job in florida with all expenses paid  the only catch   its a girls band  so josephine  curtis  and daphne  lemmon   make their way onto the train and go to florida  on the way there  they meet sugar kane  monroe   a bombshell singer who is looking for love  jerry and joe immediately fall for the singer  but theres two problems  1  theyre in drag  and 2  millionaire osgood fielding  joe e  brown  falls madly in love with daphne  what follows in pure hysteria  still complicated further by the arrival of spats columbo to florida for the  italian opera lovers festival   tony curtis is hysterical as joejosephine  especially in his preposterous attempts to woo sugar  marilyn monroe  in a wonderfully comic performance  is sugar  providing incredible timing and sex appeal  along with true sincerity  the scenes  however  are all stolen by either brown or lemmon  lemmon is hysterical as daphne  cast as the less rational one  lemmons performance is ridiculously crazy  it is disorder in the style all billy wilders  brown is particularly hilarious as osgood  as we are treated to the finest kind of comedic irony  he manages to use lemmons ingenious performance as a springboard for an even loonier performance as a completely eccentric millionaire  every setpiece is flawless  as wilder brilliantly changes settings constantly  and uses every comic trick in the book to make his picture  wilders script is stunning  as he carefully combines gangsters  crossdressing  romance  sex  music  gender roles  and social taboos in a riotous blend of wit and oddball craziness  wilder manages to create scenes of utter hysteria  so pitchperfect that the audience is dying of laughter with the last comic piece  the final line of this absolutely incredible film  wilders is dead wrong when he says nobodys perfect  billy wilder is  especially when he makes something this disastrously funny  nobodys perfect but billy wilder  
pos	a welcome cinematic trend over the past couple of years has been to make the works of shakespeare more accessible to the younger audiences who are the vast majority of moviegoers by contemporizing the bard and altering the settings to familiar surroundings  a prime example of this is 1999s 10 things i hate about you  which was basically the taming of the shrew in a high school  less successful was last years adaptation of hamlet with ethan hawke as the heir apparent of the denmark corp  here the setting was the corporate world of new york  now comes o  a faithful retelling of one of the most tragic of shakespeares tragedies  like 10 things i hate about you  the stage is a high school  a private prep school where odin james  mekhi phifer  is the oncourt general  the basketball teams standout player  julia stiles  featured in 10 things i hate about you as well as performing ophelia in hawkes hamlet  plays desi brable  odins girlfriend  whose father also happens to be dean of the institution  josh hartnett  pearl harbor  is on hand for the villainy  playing the scheming hugo  who sets the tragic wheels in motion  o was actually filmed a couple of years ago  but was shelved because of the columbine high school tragedy  the movie  directed by tim blake nelson  best known for his costarring role in o brother  where art thou   and written by brad kaaya  is very grim  an air of tragedy weighs it down from the opening scene to the closing credits  and that is how it should be  of all of shakespeares tragedies  othello is the most harrowing  not because of any body count  but because of the psychological havoc wreaked by iago  whose motivation in the sheer pleasure of his treachery  kaayas profanefilled script  after all  these are high school kids  does offer hugo a subtle motive of sorts  the young man considers himself the basketball teams prime utility man who does a little bit of everything  pass  shoot  rebound  but is constantly in the shadow of odin  plus his father  the teams coach  played with a ferocious intensity by martin sheen  showers more love and concern on his star player than on his own flesh and blood  the script follows the familiar lines of the classic  hugo begins dropping hints to odin concerning desis fidelity  eroding the stars confidence in those he considers closest to him  affecting both his relationships and his game  it all ends in blood  of course  which is why the movie was originally shelved  the performances in o vary  phifer is at first cocky and selfassured  emotions he handles with ease  he also does quite well displaying odins darker side  his defensive sensitivity about being the only black at the institution  his growing distrust of those he loved  his rage and the erosion of his belief system  hartnett is appropriately cool and machiavellian as he weaves his deadly web of lies and deceit  turning friend against friend  and lover against lover  stiles seems a bit stilted  but occasionally also rises to the occasion  moving from adoration to confusion to fear of her young knight  the film does contain a few missteps  a subplot involving hugos theft of the school mascot is left hanging  also desis actions concerning michael  andrew keegan   odins former teammate and best friend who was kicked off the team because of one of hugos machinations  is puzzling  why she would continually be seen with michael  however innocent the circumstances  when she knows her man suspects the two of cheating behind his back  it is irrational  but these are minor carpings  overall  o is a stylish and faithful adaptation  if nothing else  it may encourage some people to read the original text  and that will counterbalance the severity of this feature  
pos	there is a scene early in soul food  george tillmans comedydrama about a large africanamerican family and the ordeals they go through during a crisis  that caught me completely off guard  during a wedding  the groom is flirting with some tramp  and in an attempt to to prevent a scene  his mother in law  played by irma p  hall  comes to the rescue  the way in which she does this makes me think irma p  hall is one of the greatest actresses around right now  however  this is just one magical moment in a movie filled with them  vanessa williams  vivica fox  and nia long star as three sisters who have each gone their own way in life  williams is teri  a successful lawyer  who is frustrated by her husband miles attempts at a music career  fox is maxine  the strongest of the sisters  which can be confirmed by the stability of her marriage and the wisdom of her son ahmad  who narrates the film  long is bird  a hairdresser who is the last of the three to get married  her husband lem is an intense passionate individual whose temper gets the best of him sometime but never stops loving  at the center of everything is irma p  hall  as big mama jo  every sunday  the family gathers together for dinner at mama jos house  there is lots of conversation  lots of laughs  and the occasional controversy  mama jo presides over the family like all mothers should  she is stern and disciplined  but also caring and forgiving  everything is going fine  until a tragedy befalls mama jo  all of a sudden  a chain reaction of events begin to destroy the family  it gets so bad  sunday dinner is even cancelled  without mama jos guidance  there is noone to keep the family together  which frustrates ahmad  miles and maxines marriage begins to fall apart  as he focuses on his music and flirts with the troublesome faith  lems temper gets the best of him when his convict past starts to catch up to him  and teri tries to prevent maxines efforts to sell mama jos house  the third act of the film deals with ahmads attempts to patch things up  he decides to take over where mama jo left off  and tries to get the family back together for one more sunday dinner  the acting by everyone in the ensemble is outstanding  with special notices to irma p  hall and brandon hammond  hall gives a performance that deserves to be recognized by the academy  her mama jo is one of the most memorable characters i have ever encountered in a movie  brandon hammond is an actor with a bright future  he is wise enough not to play cutesy and shows an admirable range and depth  and speaks the final lines of the movie on the perfect note  tillman obviously based this movie on his own memories of growing up  every scene in the movie is purposeful and convincing  except maybe an odd flashback sequence   the dialogue is beleiveable and funny  and then theres the food  tillman gives us several close ups of the soul food  and it indeed looks very tasty  i can see why sunday dinners became such a tradition for this family  soul food is one of the most purely entertaining movies of the year  
pos	director david fincher has such an eye for detail which is very rare in hollywood these days  terry gilliam comes to mind as another one   film is one of the best art forms because not only can you tell a story  but you can use the camera to capture the smallest detail and have it mean something  but most directors seem to go for action with the slightest ounce of a story  so whenever a director uses the camera to its fullest potential  the film almost automatically deserves a good review  and when they add a fascinating story to it  you have nearly perfect entertainment  finchers the game is no exception to this  the game is one of the most interesting and complex films to come out of hollywood in a long time  fincher hasnt made a film since  seven   his box office and critical hit which defied expectations and became one of the best movies ever  so it is about time he made another film  and what a ride it is  the game isnt quite as powerful as  seven   but in some ways it is better  overall  the game could have used a little more clarity  or a little more uncertainty  it walks a line of insanity and reality  but it never goes either way until the very end  the outcome is satisfying enough for the preceding events  and it makes a lot of sense once everything is set straight  unfortunately  unlike  the usual suspects   we are never given enough information to figure out for ourselves what is happening  whether it be true or false  however  this also gives the film a frightening aspect which the game uses to the fullest extent  the game is told completely from its main characters point of view  nicholas van orton  michael douglas  is a highstrung and isolated businessman  he lives alone in his giant mansion  divorced from his wife elizabeth  and is celebrating his 48th birthday  the same age at which his father committed suicide at  in the same mansion  for his 48th birthday  conrad  sean penn   the rebel of the family  gives nicholas a gift certificate to crs  consumer recreation services   it will make your life fun again   his brother promises  as skeptical as nicholas is  he is somewhat intrigued  and annoyed by the lack of informationsomething this businessman hates  seeing a billboard in an office  he decides to visit the mysterious company  jim feingold  james rebhorn  greets nicholas and guides him through the signup process  which consists of psychtests  physicals  emotional responses  and other mind games   each game is suited to each persons emotional and psychological needs   explains feingold  one day  nicholas gets a call from crs and they explain that he failed the tests  even more intrigued and now somewhat angered at the time he spent signing up  he starts asking around to see what people can tell him about the company  what he doesnt realize is that the game has already begun  the phone call is just the first of many strange events to be thrown nicholas way  how he finds out that he is involved has to be witnessed because it is amusing and fun and visually impressive  the detail involved in finchers shots is incredible and almost requires a second viewing just to appreciate the effort that went into them  with  seven   fincher had almost every single shot mean something  he also has the unique ability to make you look at exactly what he wants you to  compared to  seven   though  the game is light and comical  because of this films sense of humor and selfawareness  nothing can be taken quite seriously  so dont try to make much sense of what goes on in the game  because it doesnt want you to  what does make sense is the final revelationwhen everything becomes apparent and clear  if taken as it is  the games ending makes complete sense  but if you try and critique every minute detail  then you get yourself into plot holes and incredibility  perhaps that is the reason i docked the film  while trying to remain realistic and plausible  the plot is too unbelievable to create any real tension on screen  we dont really care if douglas character lives or not because it isnt believable  the ending requires you to have believed anything that has happened previously  but if you suspend disbelief and take the film as it is  you can accept the game as an emotionally and psycholically disturbing thriller  michael douglas gives a terrific performance as nicholas  douglas has played lonely businessmen before  but here he adds another level to his performance  his character  who is normally levelheaded and relies on facts  is forced to trust nobody  can he believe the waitress he bumped into  what about his brother who got him involved in the game in the first place  douglas portrays this aspect of his character extremely well  and gives one of his best performances  even better than his  falling down  persona   the supporting cast is essential in this film  and casting was critical  sean penn is always good  and he gives yet another credible performance as douglas brother  deborah kara unger  from  crash   is the waitress he bumps into  and her performance is extremely good  in fact  she almost steals the film from douglas  james rebhorn portrays his character very well  and adds some confusion and desparation to douglas predicament  another good performance comes from armin muellerstahl  from  shine   as the book editor  but considering that douglas is in every single scene of the game  he not only commands this cast  but makes this distant and lonely character come to colorful life  the game is rated r for language  violence  some gore  and some nudity and drugs  what is essential for this film to work is the writing  john brancato and michael ferris have woven a confusing and compelling screenplay with witty dialogue  and some very funny moments  this screenplay will probably get an oscar nomination for best original screenplay because it does almost exactly the same thing the usual suspects did  however  the visuals of the game are enough to make the viewer enjoy the vexing plot  and if you can get yourself to believe everything occuring on the screen  you will be thoroughly entertained by one of this years best films  
pos	originally launched in 1978  this popular film was reintroduced in 1998 to a whole new generation of moviegoers  based on the mighty successful musical from broadway  grease was followed in 1980 with the less stellar grease 2  6  510   starring a young michelle pheiffer in one of her first feature film roles  plot  highschool musical set in the 1950s showcasing the relationship between the cool danny zuko of the tbirds  travolta  and the innocent and pure sandy olsen  newtonjohn  from australia  the film follows the couple and their vivacious friends during their last year at rydell high through song  dance and humour  critique  funloving  energetic and innocent look back at times much simpler  this movie effectively juggles a thin romantic story line and the overall experience of the 1950s  with a superb soundtrack and some great dance numbers  admittedly  i am somewhat biased in this opinion  since this film blasts me into my past as a rebellious youth  grease was one of schmoes first bigscreen experiences  and every other scene sends me reeling into the times of my elaborate grease bubblegum card collection   and the lesser responsibilities that i possessed at that time  but apart from the nostalgic vibe  i was still extremely impressed by this film  as it continued to amuse me  despite my previous dozen or so viewings  this film took john travolta from a dimwitted  sweathog  on tvs welcome back kotter  and transformed him into a moviestar of spectacular proportions  saturday night fever  7  510  in 1979 confirmed that sudden popularity   unfortunately for the rest of the cast  his popularity was not terribly contagious  despite their effective showings in this classic movie  on the down side  some of the absolute innocence in this film might bore or turn people off  like when sandy sings about  drinking lemonade  and  staying out until 10  with danny in  summer nights    and the plot isnt exactly the most elaborate storyline ever created  but despite these small reservations  this movie carries enough great music and high energy to keep anyone amused through its rapid 110 minute running time  and believe me    i am not a fan of the musicals     make sure to look for a young lorenzo lamas in the static role of the brainless football player  as well as the national bandstand dance contest as one of the films absolute highlights  and dont forget to buy the popular soundtrack afterwards  so that you could listen to its peppy tunes whenever youre feeling a little blue  little known facts  henry winkler  of tvs happy days fonzie fame  turned down the part of danny zuko because he did not want to be typecast for the rest of his career  both travolta and conaway were smitten by newtonjohn during the filming of this picture  conaway eventually bowed out of the woofest  and married newtonjohns sister a year later  divorced after five years   
pos	set in the late 80s at the height of yuppie excess and based on the book by bret easton ellis  who explored the same themes in another book which was also made into a movie  less than zero   american psycho puts a new spin on the yuppie  genre  that ellis helped to create  christian bale is perfectly cast as patrick bateman  a high powered yuppie who hides a terrible secret from his fianc  e and his colleagues  it seems that bateman is a serial killer and  unfortunately for his contemporaries  his tenuous grasp on reality is starting to slip  as he tries to balance his meticulous daily routines with slaughtering coworkers and prostitutes and hiding their bodies  his mental fabric slowly begins to unravel  i was first introduced to the novel when i was still in high school  i read an associated press article in our local sunday newspaper detailing the problems ellis was having getting his novel published due to the controversial violence in it  as usual when anything is controversial i try to seek it out  but i soon forgot about the novel and didnt end up thinking about it again until i stumbled across it a couple of years later at a bookstore  i picked it up and read it  but was ultimately disappointed because it left more questions than answers  the movie has a similar effect  but at least its less cryptic than ellis novel  for once  a film has actually turned out to be better than the novel it was based on  both the book and the film open with bateman describing his fastidious morning preparations  down to exactly what facial scrubs and exfoliating creams he uses  but the novel seems to concentrate more on these excesses throughout  the movie continues to touch upon these things but makes more of a point to immerse us in batemans impending madness than to detail things as painstakingly as the novel does  as a result  the film is immensely more entertaining  lions gate seems to be the studio champion of controversial films  having picked up kevin smiths catholicrattling dogma  and here with american psycho there is no difference  screenwriters mary harron and guinevere turner had the unenviable task of trying to take a novel about yuppies filled with graphic violence and sex and make a marketable film out of it  some cuts had to be made to the finished film to keep from getting an nc17  mainly involving a sex scene comprising bateman and two women  and initial reports said the film was unwatchable  thankfully  it is watchable and harron and turner have made one of the most scathingly satirical films this side of south park  bigger  longer  uncut  side note 1  cowriter guinevere turner also makes an appearance in the film as an illfated acquaintance of batemans who  after bateman suggests that she start making out with a female prostitute  proclaims that shes not a lesbian nor has any interest in it  the ironic humor of the scene stems from the fact that turner  the writerdirector of the film go fish and who also assisted kevin smith with parts of his script for chasing amy  is a lesbian  its a subtle injoke and its one i found to be pretty humorous  despite having a rather high profile supporting cast of young upandcomers  including reese witherspoon   most of the roles are a waste and are the equivalent of extended billed cameos  the real draw here is christian bale and his overthetop performance as patrick bateman  whenever i read a novel i always try to imagine what it would be like as a movie and who would be perfect to cast as the characters  i always had a hard time trying to decide who i would cast as bateman  but i never thought bale would deliver a performance as perfect as his ends up being  to say bale runs away with the character is a vast understatement and he proves that hes as adept at chewing scenery as al pacino or rod steiger  one sequence in particular  involving bateman describing his love for huey lewis and the news song  hip to be square  right before burying an axe in a coworkers head  features one of the most eccentric and kinetic performances i have ever seen on film  side note 2  despite the fact that huey lewis  hip to be square  and a pair of phil collins songs appear in the film  dont expect to see them on the soundtrack release  huey lewis expressly requested that his song  featured in a rather large set piece in the film  much akin to the use of  stuck in the middle with you  in reservoir dogs   not be included on any soundtrack release  im assuming that collins requested the same  on a similar note  whitney houstons cover of  the greatest love of all  is also involved in a scene comparable to the other two and it is very obvious that it isnt the houston version at all but merely an instrumental version culled from an unknown source  apparently  houston wasnt as open about the use of her song as the others were  a bigger controversy than the violence and sex has been brewing since the films release  that of whether or not patrick has actually committed the crimes we have viewed during the course of the film  dont look to the book for any answers because it will only serve to confuse you more  several web sites have been dedicated to the subject but im still undecided  there is evidence both for and against but the most scathing evidence against comes from a scene near the end of the film where bateman goes on a killing spree taking out cops  old ladies  and cleaning staff with equal gusto  the scene seemed very dreamlike and as absurd as the action films it suddenly seems to be parodying  as an example  bateman blows up a police car very cinematically after firing several shots from a handgun in the general direction of the car   i kept waiting for bateman to wake up and for the film to continue on from there  but bateman never does wake up and the whole sequence  though comic  throws the film offbalance  which i suppose was the intention   other than the few flaws i have mentioned  american psycho is an incredibly entertaining film  although you may not leave the movie fully understanding whether or not what has just transpired actually occurred in batemans reality   i think this movie is destined for greatness as a cult film and deserves the spot it will take as such  it may not change anyones life  but it will certainly have an effect  i know i will certainly hear  hip to be square  in a different context the next time i hear it  r 
pos	ever wonder what happened to gabe kaplan  you remember  he was the title character in that 70s sitcom   welcome back kotter   always trying to help out the sweathogs  frequently trying to dodge mr  woodman  ever wary of his wifes tuna casserole   so   you ask   where is he now   mr  kaplan actually spends much of his time these days playing professional highstakes poker  thats right  im not sure if its his main source of income  but from what ive heard  the guy occasionally comes away with 20  000 at a time  and there you were  thinking i was going to tell you he was doing offbroadway theater  you silly goose  well  gabe kaplan isnt in the movie rounders  nor is the film about the actor come gamblers life  but rounders is about poker  and gabe plays poker  and i thought that was kind of a neat connection  sorry about the segue  or lack thereof  matt damon plays mike mcdermott  a law student who also has a singular talent for the game of poker  hes been playing for a while  and more than being proficient  he has caught the bug  he goes to all the underground games in new york city  knows the regulars  and knows how to win  in the beginning of the film  hes built up a nice thirty grand nest egg  which he takes to the speakeasytype gaming parlor where the big boys play  mike is there to make his bid into the upper echelon by staking it all against teddy kgb  john malkovich   an oreomunching cardshark with ties to the russian mafia  mike has the potential to take a large pot and go to vegas and buy into the world series of poker  but instead he loses it all in a single hand  months later  hes paying his way through law school by driving a delivery truck  when mikes best friend and poker buddy worm  edward norton  finishes his jail term for hustling some students  he wants to pick up right were they left off  working as a team to part others with their betting cash  although mike has stopped playing cards as a promise to his girlfriend and fellow law student  jo  gretchen mol   worm connives mike into playing once more  and mike  bitten again by the bug  slides down that slippery slope  risking his relationship  education  and reputation as playing poker again becomes the focus of his life  to make a film about gambling  a filmmaker will usually have to play up the glamorous side to get the audience behind the characters  this is because few moviegoers will care a whole lot about some guy in a leisure suit or terry cloth shirt sitting at a folding card table with a stogie in his mouth  rounders  however  seems to go more for the latter than the former  the card clubs mike and worm frequent arent very glamorous at all  theres a basement  a lodge with elk heads on the wall  a goulash joint  these are the kinds of locales in which director john dahl sets his shots  except for one brief instance when the two players visit atlantic city  the film is bereft of the flashing lights of the casinos or the pleasant color of the green felt table  the reason rounders still captures our attention is because it is less about the game of poker than it is about the personalities which enjoy and are slaves to it  were given a nice set of interesting characters with clear motivations  and good actors to play them  matt damon is very natural as mike  who struggles between his desire to play the straight and narrow by finishing law school  and answering what may be his true calling  playing professional poker  ed nortons worm is truly a worm  always looking for the angle and playing everyone for what theyre worth  john turturro  who amazes me with his acting range  tones it down in this film by playing joey knish  a virtual poker prodigy in his time who now plays the underground games to make rent and child support payments  hes both a friend and mentor to mike  and turturros lowkey performance is totally convincing  just as john malkovichs heavilyaccented teddy kgb is imposing as an adversarial dragon mike must slay to prove himself  martin landau is also thrown into the mix as one of mikes law professors  abe petrovsky  while landau slips well into the role  his character  spitting out personal anecdotes about staying true to ones self  facilitates the channeling of the storyline toward a predictable ending  perhaps the weak link in the otherwise formidable lineup of acting talent  however  is gretchen mol who just didnt seem to have much presence on screen  shes a genuine peach to look at  kind of a cross between actress renee zellweger and singer jewel  and i wouldnt be surprised if the three of them formed some kind of blondhaired triumvirate and attempted to take over the world   but her delivered lines seemed very flat  and i found myself looking for matt damons reactions instead  a good thing about rounders is that it doesnt get bogged down in the character development and statement making so much that it cant find time for humor  the film is peppered nicely with scenes that both make you laugh and keep the pacing going  such as a sequence where mike and worm move rapidly around new york from one game to the next  in widely different locales  one game in a cigar club had me in stitches   i love the sweetness of this dark maduro wrapper   says one of the players  clearly more interested in displaying his pretentiousness over the cigar in one hand than in the cards in his other  i was hoping mike and worm would really take these guys  with all the poker being played  rounders had the potential to be very confusing  you might think you know a lot about poker  but think again  luckily  were given a narration by damon during the more intricate moments to explain whats going on  the narrations are more informative than intrusive  and apprise us of what the stakes are and why certain players want to do the things they do  its nice that as the characters develop  so does our comprehension of their world  as a film about success and survival in the realm of underground poker  rounders delivers in spades  wait  as a film about the culture of cards  rounders is an ace  hang on  packed with great acting and great characters  rounders is a full house  okay  i guess thats enough  oh  by the way  if you ever want to get into a game with ol gabe kaplan  be sure to bring a note from epsteins mother  
pos	did you ever wonder if dennis rodman was actually from this planet  or if sylvester stallone was some kind of weird extraterrestrial  i used to think that about my 7th grade english teacher  ms  carey  but after seeing this movie  they may have confirmed my suspicions  as the story goes  at any time  there are over a thousand aliens living among us here on earth  the men in black  mib  are the watchdogs that oversee the cosmic citizens  guardians of our beloved planet from nastytempered aliens  and secret service to the stars  based in new york city  where weird is the norm   the mib organization gives human form to our spacefaring emigrants so that they may walk and live among us unnoticed  but to enforce the laws of earth  the mib carry weapons that are powerful enough to meet or exceed destruction quotas in one single blast  they carry otherworldly technology to erase peoples shortterm memory when common folk see the mib in action  and their best leads on cosmic thingsgoneawry are the supermarket tabloids  little do we know that there are much stronger battles of good v  evil going on in the depths of space  one of the aliensashuman on this planet is an important diplomat that is carrying something very precious  it holds the key  literally  to universal peace  a giant cockroachlike alien soon arrives on the planet and steals this key  in the wrong alien hands  flippers  mandibles  tentacles    it can be used as a weapon  therefore  it must be recovered and returned to its rightful owners  otherwise  to ensure universal safety  earth will be destroyed  along with the key  now  its the mib who must prevent this catastrophe  the mib agents on the case are  k   played by tommy lee jones  he is crustier than burnt toast and even more serious than al gore  the stars in the sky no longer spark wonder in his eyes  he is accompanied by a flippant rookie   j   played by will smith  but  despite this shootemup  protectearthfromdestruction premise  this is nothing at all like a typical summer action movie  and  this isnt an independence day knockoff  rather  this is a stylishly offbeat scifi comedy that pokes fun at what the government always denies  that there are real aliens that live here  and that the government does its darndest to cover them up  but to give it some sense of excitement and to keep it within the parameters of the summer movie recipe  there must be some kind of earthhangsinthebalance scenario  yet  this movie is very appealing  the abundance of wierdness  talking aliens  peewee atomizers  a mortician who lives for her work  and lots of yucky bugs and slimesplattering galore   is played straight  like as if this were normal  of course  we are in nyc   it gives it a deadpan feel  which makes it all the more funnier and odder  jones plays the venerable seenitall agent with seriousness and maturity  smith is likeable and makes a great comic partner to jones straight man routine  they click like dorothys ruby red shoes  the look and feel of the movie is made even better with direction from barry sonnenfeld  the addams family   this guy has a knack for gothic comedy  and successfully transfers his macabre sense of humor onto the screen  and  an appropriate dose of special effects helps to bolster the oddness of their task without diverting attention from the human actors  the story moves well  and before you know it  the end credits are already rolling  the result is 100 minutes worth of fun in the form of ewwwws and blechhhs  aaaahhhs and wows  let the men in black protect and color your world  
pos	i feel no hesitation in saying that  theres something about mary  is the best film that i will see all year  from the moment the credits started to roll at the end of the picture  there was no doubt in my mind that i had seen a masterpiece that will remain unsurpassed in the remaining months of 1998  it is that good of a film  when gene siskel said this about  fargo  only a few months into 96  i dismissed the notion as ridiculous  how could you possibly know that a film is so great that nothing you could possibly see in the future could beat it  but after seeing the farrellys hilarious and surprisingly heartfelt masterwork  i now know what siskel was talking about  once in a  very great  while  a film comes along that is so daring  so brilliant and simply so enjoyable that at the end  you just want to stand up and cheer  and you know  at that instant  that you have just experienced something very special  now for the shocker   mary  is the grossest and most disgusting film i have ever viewed   pink flamingos  obviously notwithstanding   the movie is so rude and  i guess  inappropriate in nature that i had a hard time sitting in a theater watching it with my parents  luckily i had seen it before them  so i could warn the about what they were in for   forget  blazing saddles    animal house  and even the former king of grossout comedy   monty pythons meaning of life   they were all only preludes to the farrellys assault on the senses  in fact  this may even be the funniest film ive ever had the pleasure of seeing  the only real contender is  monty python and the holy grail    and most certainly the most hilarious to come out all decade  but as funny as it is  something also has to be said about the overall sweetness of  mary   it has a huge heart  you see  the farrellys are truly gifted filmmakers  they dont just present you with a string of dick and fart jokes  although there are plenty to go around   they also  very wisely  add an unbelievable amount of charisma to the main characters and actually have them develop as the story progresses  its funny  though  if you just look at an outline of the story  it seems kind of contrived and predictable  but believe me  it is anything but  ben stiller plays ted  a very shy and clumsy teenage geek who lusts after the school babe  mary  cameron diaz   after he sticks up for her retarded brother  warren  w  early brown  the cameraman  believe it or not  from  scream    his dreams come true when she invites him to the prom  in one of the films funniest scenes  something goes wrong  i wont ruin it for those who know nothing about the film  and ted is unable to face mary ever again  jump to the present  after years of selfloathing  ted finally hires private detective pat healy  a suitably slimy matt dillon  to track her down so he can have one last chance at winning the woman he has loved since high school  healy finds that mary is still a fullblown hottie and decides to try and keep her for himself  admittingly  the basic story line leaves a little to be desired  after all  with a notreallyallthatfunny premise  how can you sustain laughter for nearly two hours  somehow  the farrellys pull it off  the performances here are also right on target  as ted  stiller adds just the right amount of clumsy charm to make his character not irritating  as he would normally be  but very lovable  and cameron diaz is perfect in her role for obvious reasons  but the actor who really grabs your attention is w  earl brown as marys brother  no other actor has even come close to playing a mentally retarded man with as much natural ease as brown displays here  i know he wont be nominated  but this is the guy who should not be counted out when it comes time to hand out the oscar nods in february  as good as the actors are  though  its the directors movie all the way  i guarantee that on almost every other top ten list at the end of the year  you will see the number one space occupied by steven spielbergs wwii epic  saving private ryan   and yes  that is a great film worthy of the recognition it has been getting  but which is harder  making a great war film or having your audience laugh so hard that they cant breath for minutes at a time  ill let you decide that one for yourself  but this critic is sticking to his guns  there is just something about  mary   
pos	 id rather die today and go to heaven than live to be a hundred and go to hell   earnestly proclaims the pentecostal preacher  with that line coming from a fundamentalist christian minister  hollywood has taught us how we should fill in the rest of the story  he will be turn out to be a scoundrel who has less actual belief in god than the average american  and all of his preaching will turn out to be a cynical ruse to extort money from his naive congregation  from elmer gantry on  we have learned what to expect when the movies go to church  well  think again  for the apostle  which robert duvall has wanted to make for over a decade  does not take the usual tack of smearing the minister  and by implication all  the rest of organized religion  instead it gives us a highly devout man  who certainly has his foibles  but with an absolute dedication to his ministry and his god  and arguably just as surprising  the goodspirited film is no comedy  even if it does have humorous moments  instead of levity the picture takes a touchingly serious approach as it introduces us to a world not normally seen in motion pictures  when in the privacy of his attic  robert duvall  as texas preacher euliss  sonny  dewey  argues sternly with his lord  the scene shares a kinship with emily watsons character crying out for her god in breaking the wavess most powerful scene  the body of the story starts with sonnys coming upon an horrific auto accident  which is another part of life generally ignored by modern screenwriters  with his well worn bible in hand  sonny leaps from his car so that he can go pray over and with the accidents dying victims  the scowling police officer orders him to go away  and  after he has tried to work his miracles  sonny leaves with a smile in the confidence that he has done the lords work  robert duvall not only gives a moving and realistic performance surely destined to receive an academy award nomination but is also the films director  writer  executive producer  and chief financier  rarely has a movie been such a labor of love  with a white suit  peachcolored shirt and tie  and dark sunglasses  sonny looks as much like a rock star as a preacher  duvall has every movement down pat  even when he is walking down the street  the ever strutting sonny cannot contain his energy  he dances and claps all the way  sonnys churches having more black members than white means that he shares his preaching duties with many deepvoiced black orators  but his rhetoric is always competitive   i may be on the devils hitlist  but im on gods mailing list   he shouts to the congregation in a revival tent  and they lap it up  people jump up  scream   praise the lord   and mean it  the intensity of their shared religious experience is palpable  but sonny is no saint  it turns out that he has a wandering eye  which angers his wife jessie  played in a remarkably controlled performance by farrah fawcett  jessie gets her revenge by taking up with the churchs youth minister and conniving to gain control over sonnys church  leaving him unemployed  sonny  letting his temper get the best of him  does something foolish  which causes him to have to leave town and two beloved kids forever  the bulk of the film occurs in a small  predominately black church in louisiana  which he builds up from a derelict building with no congregation into a remodeled church   one way road to heaven  holiness temple   with an enthusiastic flock  in this part he rebaptizes himself as the apostle e  f  the apostle is a hard worker willing to take on any odd job necessary to obtain the funds for his church  he asks his members to tithe  but he gives all of his money  and his good deeds extend to secret donations of food for the local poor folks  a man who cant stand to be still  he tells one of his friends   i quit school because i didnt like recess   in his new town he meets toosie  miranda richardson   who  like him  has a family that she hasnt seen in a while  his romance with the separated woman  like the rest of the film  doesnt follow the standard patterns we have grown to expect from our movies  billy bob thornton shows up one day playing a local racist and general troublemaker  his confrontation with the apostle is yet another of shows many surprising scenes  again breaking many rules and conceptions about what approach deeply religious people might take  although it probably couldnt have ended any other way  the movie does wrap things up nicely  and dont miss the sweet epilogue during the films closing credits  a tour de force acting performance by duvall and a surprising and unrelentingly dedicated script makes for an outstanding and moving film  the apostle runs a little too long at 2  12  it is rated pg13 for mild profanity and brief violence and would be fine for kids eleven and up  
pos	one of the best movies ive ever seen  id heard extremely good things about this movie  and though the previews didnt really intrigue that much  it was a movie id been anticipating for a few months now  for some reason im not sure of  this movie was not that big a sucess over in the u  s  it was a definite hit with the critics  but didnt exactly set any box office records  after viewing this incredibly well directed  written and acted movie  i cant help but wonder  why  the strength of this film is its gritty realism  the main characters are all human with individual flaws  no stereotype hollywood heroes  you may not agree with many of their actions in the movie or their approach to life  but that is what makes it so real  i had expected this movie to be more of a drama than a thriller  but i was mistaken  even the interrogation scenes moved at such a pace so that it felt just as thrilling as any car chase  and the ending       whoa  ive never seen a movie in my life where everyone in it acts brilliantly  the three male leads  guy pearce  kevin spacey and russell crowe are all just terrific  the best actor oscar talk surrounding this film should have netted one of them a statue  but there is one problem there  how could they have chosen between these three actors  there is no way i could look at this film and say one of them was better than the other two  its impossible  kim bassingers performance is also a revelation  id never been a big fan of hers before and always thought she was  well    whats the word  a twinky  that impression has changed  as she complemented crowe and pearce perfectly  the depth to the story and characters is truly astounding  no cardboard characters here  the plot is full of twists and turns and some very clever sequences  pearces interogation of three seperate suspects is nothing short of brilliant  i really cant fault this movie at all  i was so glad to see fellow australians pearce and crowe star in such a breathtaking movie  i had been very familiar with russell crowe beforehand from his many australian films  but had not seen much of guy pearce  i intend to change this next time i visit the video store   
pos	this reviewer is ignorant of what hands were responsible for delivering the original version of the abyss in 1989  whether it was the meddling of studio executives  or the work of writerdirector james cameron himself  the original cut of this underwater scifi thriller was entertaining enough but also quite seriously flawed  the main problem was fairly simple  the films climax was unworthy of its buildup  someone at 20th century fox  and no doubt cameron himself  must have agreed  because in 1993 came the theatrical release of the abyss  special edition  now available on video  it seems timely to reevaluate what  in its newly revamped state  is now a nearmasterpiece despite its borrowings from films like 2010  odyssey two  alien and close encounters of third kind  the plot is thus  we meet the crew of an experimental underwater mobile oil rig designed by the hardnosed lindsay  mastrantonio  and captained by her soontobedivorced husband bud  ed harris   the rig and its crew are diverted from their normal duties when the navy seeks their help in investigating the mysterious sinking of a u  s  nuclear submarine  requiring a dive partway down a three mile deep trench  three navy divers arrive to command the operation  led by the edgy lieutenant coffey  biehn   but a series of strange sightings soon convinces at least one member of the civilian crew that whoever or whatever theyre dealing with  as she memorably puts it   arent speaking russian   meanwhile on the surface a hurricane is brewing and  even worse  a series of incidents around cuba involving russians ships and an increasingly nervous u  s  navy sets off an international crisis of possible catastrophic proportions  this crisis is mirrored in the confines of the now isolated underwater rig  with the triggerhappy and increasingly paranoid lieutenant coffey at odds with the crew about how do deal with the mysterious goingson around them  the human drama is often riveting  with the principal players performing with an intensity that recalls the fine ensemble acting in camerons aliens  the stunts  hardware  special effects and underwater cinematography are all outstanding  and so they should be  camerons technical credentials are well established  but what ultimately makes the film so gripping is three intersecting plot strands  1  the tension between old sparring partners lindsay and exhubby bud  2  the war of wills between the civilian crew and the navy divers as a series of escalating crisis befall them  and 3  the slowly unfolding revelation of what lies at the bottom of the three mile deep abyss  the abyss  special edition is an improvement on the original film in two major respects  one is that it further fleshes out the relationship between bud and lindsay  a relationship at times touching  at others incredibly intense and volatile  the second improvement is the restoration of some absolutely crucial scenes towards the films end  when the aliens demonstrate their control over water with a terrifying and extraordinary display of power to a world on the brink of nuclear war  with the inclusion of these startling scenes  the storys climax is now given real weight  why on earth were they left out of the original  this reviewer finds it utterly incomprehensible  so then  we have 25 minutes of additional footage thats turned a decent underwater thriller into something quite magnificent  i say  quite  because some flaws do remain  the most grating is several moments of corny hollywood schmaltz  some new  some old  that may well have you reaching for the barf bag  nonetheless  the abyss  special edition now stands this somewhat maligned film among james camerons greatest achievements  alongside aliens and terminator 2  see it and be moved  gripped and spellbound  
pos	i have a soft spot in my heart for pure  amoral sleaze  i liked showgirls  there  i said it   i typically enjoy myself when sitting through that eszterhaz  sexfilled cinematic tabloidish trash  wild things is the best sleazy film ive ever seen  its filled with great performances  graphic sex  threeway sex  rape charges  doublecrosses  plot twists  genitalia of all genders  graphic violence  death  witty humor  and  best of all  denise richards  criticizing this film for being disgusting  raucous  and just plain wrong is as fundamentally pointless as criticizing citizen kane for being disturbing  or titanic for being lofty and epic  wild things is a film that succeeds in its endeavors  but i dont just admire it for thisi admire it for being so entertaining and such a fun time at the movies  i must admit upfront  however  that i am directly in the center of the age group to which this film has been engineered to appeal  i imagine that this shows  its hard to give a plot summary without giving away pieces that shouldnt be known  i thought i had the whole thing worked out from the trailer  but i was wrong  there are a lot of turns here  ill just say that the film takes place in blue bay  a rich little town in florida  in blue bay lives sam lombardo  matt dillon   a teacher who is accused of rape by two of his students  kelly van ryan  denise richards   and suzie toller  neve campbell   kellys mother  sandra  theresa russell   immediately presses charges  all of this happens fairly early in the film  and right up until this point  i had the whole film predicted  i was wrong  though  and every time i was proven wrong  i was shocked  wild things isnt even remotely plausible  but it is so fun to see where the story takes us that the implausibility of every scene is meaningless  and often invited  just for kicks  i remember first seeing the preview for wild things before the replacement killers  id give the preview four stars  it made me want to see the movie so much that ive been waiting for it anxiously ever since  over the past few weeks though  i started to realize that there was no way the film could live up to the preview  see independence day   thankfully  i was proven wrong  the preview for this film is one that needs to be studied by marketing analysts of every distribution company  not only does it make us want to see the film  but it doesnt give away any of the secrets  but im not here to talk about the preview  im here to talk about denise richards  now  i found her mildly interesting in starship troopers  but in wild things she appeals to such a base instinct that every scene shes in demands attention in a way that almost no other performer can  of course  this might have something to do with her oceanic eyes    and flawless body    but i thought she did a great job acting  too  stop laughing   no  richards is truly a findshe is talented  and always convincing in this film  this mixed in with her insane physical appeal makes her a vital asset to any film she may grace in the future  the other actors are good  too  dillon is as suave as ever  its nice to see him bouncing back from albino alligator and in  out   bacon does a good job acting all determined and stuff as a sex crimes officer  neve campbell gives the most layered performance of all of them  though i wont pretend that any of these characters are deep and complex  for a plot like this to work  all of these people have to be insane and basically contrived  thats okay  because director john mcnaughton knows that hes making a selfconsciously wicked film  each sceneeven the threeway sex sceneis observed with hilarity by mcnaughton  and the result is a sleazefest thats too smart to resist  there isnt an inconsistent moment in wild things  every bit of it is alluring garbage  so trashy its funny  and so entertaining its painful  i loved it  
pos	tarzan chadz  good  1999  g  90 minutes 1 hour  30 minutes animated  adventuredrama starring the voices of  tony goldwyn  tarzan   minnie driver  jane porter   lance henriksen  kerchak   brian blessed  clayton   written by tab murphy  bob tzudiker  noni white  produced by bonnie arnold  directed by chris buck  kevin lima  based on the story tarzan of the apes and characters created by edgar rice burroughs  seen july 4  1999 at 7  15 p  m  at crossgates cinemas 18  guilderland  ny   theater 9  by myself for free using my hoyts season pass  theater rating     12  very good sound  picture and seats title  tarzan beautiful to look at  easy to follow  review  disney continues its trend of producing animated summer blockbuster movies meant mostly for children but with enough wit and charm for adults to be interested and at least entertained by the story  the basic premise is the same as every other tarzan story  a boy is raised in the african jungle by gorillas and becomes one himself never really understanding  or even noticing  that hes human and is a lot different from the animals he befriends  the first third of the film shows how tarzan comes to be adopted by kala  voiced by glen close   a female gorilla who lost her own child in a classic case of darwanism  her mate  kerchak  henriksen   is a mean  conservative leader of the pack of gorillas who make up tarzans extended family  he refuses to acknowledge tarzan  voiced by alex d  linz during the childhood scenes  as a son and often has to hold himself back from killing tarzan after he continually does dangerous  wild things that are the result of his own childish instincts  i have a feeling children will quickly be able to identify with tarzan since all he really is is just a kid who wants to have fun and its funny how the adults fail to comprehend this  later  as the story transitions from tarzan as a child to a fullgrown man  voiced by goldwyn   he is encounter by a party of three humans from england  jane porter  driver   a beautiful woman who is something of a zoologist and an artist  her father prof  archimedes q  porter  voiced by nigel hawthorne  who is also a scientist  and their slick and cunning  yet barbaric safari bodyguard clayton  blessed   its easy to tell where the story is going at all times but the screenplay doesnt seem like it was written hastily nor dumbed down for childrens enjoyment  sure theres a lot of cliche stuff here  like claytons smugness and diabolical manipulation of tarzan and jane  the goofy supporting characters  voiced by rosie odonnell in full brooklyn accent   and wayne knight  hello newman     theres also a lot of fun action such as tarzans swinging through the jungle on vines and sliding down and around tree branches and trunks  its just like skateboarding really fast and doing all sorts of tricks  those mcdonalds commercials really prove this point   ultimately  you get exactly out of tarzan what you expect    and i mean that as a compliment  so have high expectations  pros  animation and sound are a feast for the senses  story is lighthearted  breezy and not dumbeddown  no stupid singalong songs to get stuck in your head  cons  surprisingly violent  should have been rated pg  young children may not understand some of the more adult themes  parents  be ready to have some heavy questions thrown your way   running time is a bit short  would you recommend this to friends  not to my friends  but to the moviegoing public i would  score  or with no 0 rating   
pos	ive always been told that there are two things in life that are unavoidable  death and taxes  oddly  ive never given much thought to either of the two  maybe if i did  at least id stop getting collection notices from uncle sam  yes  let me make a resolution to devote myself to better record keeping  hold on to all my receipts  and to do what it takes to have the satisfaction that my returns are mistakefree and will keep me from incurring penalties  it seems that the issue of death may not be so different  at least envisioned here in this film  as this tender love story goes  if you do good things and have a clear conscience when you die  you ascend to a place of great peace and beauty  the dreams  wishes  and fantasies that you had when you were alive come true  for those who die with a burdened soul  however  they wind up in that other place  chris and annie  a winsome robin williams and a radiant annabella sciorra  seem like the perfect couple that deserve all that heaven has to offer  their love for each other is strong and their bond is undeniable  but tragic events eventually tear apart the fabric of annies happiness  and when chris dies after a terrible car accident  she commits suicide  a tortured soul who blames herself  despair is perhaps the greatest sin  and she will wallow in her guilt throughout eternity  chris  on the other hand  has made it to heaven  and upon learning of annies fate  he journeys to hell to find her and to try to free her from her nightmare  this film brims with imagination  containing a lush imagery that shows the arcadia that is heaven and the bitterness and frightfulness that is hell  it seems that heaven and hell could very well be a product of our fantasies or nightmares  its shape and look is as infinite as our imagination  as chris explores his new fantastic world and discovers things both amazing and wondrous  he also begins to learn more about himself  certain questions baffle him at first  why does his home in heaven ooze with paint  what is the significance of the asian stewardess  why does he have an alltoowilling guide  cuba gooding  jr   to help him find annie  but as he slowly begins to realize the answers  it makes him stronger and gives him a greater chance to save annie   dreams  is both visually and tellingly beautiful  alas  i have one regret  the movie did well to gather more and more emotional speed  but the denouement was curiously unsatisfying  it seemed as if it was racing to some kind of great finish  but its intensity seemed to wane in its final moments  however  your eyes will still well up with tears and youll find lots to savor  the storytelling is purposeful and well constructed  the journey is imaginative  and i was surprised by how much i enjoyed this film  
pos	it was a crazy time in france  what with the french revolution right around the corner  king louis xv would soon die  and his son would become king louis xvi  such is the setting for beaumarchais  the scoundrel about the controversial playwright  spy and playboy pierreaugustin caron de beaumarchais  beaumarchais was the author of the plays   the barber of seville  and  the marriage of figaro   today people think of them as quaint and harmless operas  but  back in 1773 when the movie takes place  they were so scandalous that beaumarchais was thrown into prison more than once  the movie beaumarchais  the scoundrel takes a lighthearted approach to its subject  resulting in an inviting motion picture  one of frances most expensive productions ever  the movie was a huge hit when it opened there last year  now in theatrical release in the united states  it eschews the seriousness of most art house films with a romping good story  the secret of the films success  other than the lavishness of sylvie de segonzacs costumes  has to be the performance by fabrice luchini as beaumarchais  with his glistening eyes and his infectious smile  he mesmerizes the camera and the audience  his wry little lips seem always to hint at some unspoken deviousness he is planning  in a land where court intrigue determines ones destiny  constant scheming was a way of life for the aristocracy  as our story starts  we learn that beaumarchais has bought himself a judgeship  into his court comes a member of the nobility demanding an immediate sword fight  beaumarchais  who has been having an affair with the mans wife  makes him wait until the current case on the docket is decided  that over with  the fight is on  with luchinis charisma  it is hard to root for anyone other than him  audiences may remember him from the marvelous colonel chabert  in which he played the attorney  although he does not have half of the good looks of his assistant gudin  played by manuel blanc  he dazzles the women and the viewers with his grace and style  michael epps warm and intimate cinematography provides a nice accompaniment to jeanmarc kerdelhues lush but realistic looking sets  jeanclaude petits music  especially the hauntingly lovely flute solos  make for an enchanting time at the movies  director jeanclaude brisville  who wrote the script along with edouard molinaro  fleshed out a play by sacha guitry which  according to the press notes  was just a series of historic vignettes  the disorganization of the play still comes through at some points in the movie  but the actors smooth it over with their goodhearted style  typical of the scenes that come out of nowhere is the one in which a rotund benjamin franklin appears in a large pot of hot water  taking his bath  one episode has beaumarchais working with a renegade spy who may or may not be a man  another has beaumarchais using his personal fortune to aid the american revolution  all of this may sound like a dull historical drama  but it is anything but  the story plays more like theater of the absurd than a movie based on historical facts  the radiantly lovely sandrine kiberlain plays marietherese  the real love of beaumarchaiss life  but he is so likable that members of the audience may want to compete with her for him  still  with his beguiling smile  one can never quite be sure if you should trust him  the movie  on the other hand  can be trusted to deliver a high old time  beaumarchais  the scoundrel runs 1  41  it is in french with english subtitles  the film is not rated but would be an r for some nudity and sex  and should be fine for most teenagers  
pos	what surprises me most about the longawaited batman is that the movie centers not on the caped crusader but on the joker  the dark knight actually has less screen time than his homicidal arch nemesis  i can hear batfans everywhere protesting   first they had the nerve to cast michael keaton as batman  and now they think they can get away with making him second banana to the joker    and  indeed  this situation would have been altogether inappropriate and intolerable were it not for the fact that someone at warner brothers had the savvy to cast jack nicholson in the role he was born to play  nicholson deserves the top billing he is receiving in the posters and opening credits since his astounding  oscarworthy performance as the joker is the highlight of batman  nicholson shows no inhibition or shame as he pulls out all the stops to create a joker that makes cesar romero look like bozo the clown  romero played the joker in the 60s tv series   on one hand  nicholsons joker is extremely funny  his murderous escapades and manic outbursts  which include defacing paintings in an art museum and invading the television airwaves with hilarious pirate broadcasts  bring humor and laughter into an otherwise dark film  but on the other hand  his outwardly jovial disposition is only a mask for his intense contempt for all of mankind  the jokers cruelty and demented  diabolical nature are truly frightening and sinister  this guy is off his rocker  and he not only knows it  he flaunts it  but enough about nicholson as the joker  im sure most people are wondering about michael keaton as batman  like many  i was outraged when warner brothers announced that keaton had been cast as the caped crusader  but batfans need not worry because holy unconventional casting  keaton delivers  he is convincing as the tormented millionaire  bruce wayne  and beneath his hard  black body armor  he is mysterious and formidable as the batman  even though the screenplay only halfheartedly attempts to develop the character  keaton manages to give hints of the inner turmoil and emotional rage that drive wayne to don his bat gear and battle the low life scum of gotham city  visually  batman is a knockout nothing short of a triumph for director tim burton and his production team  the movie successfully captures the film noir look and bleak  gloomy atmosphere of such batman comic books as  the dark knight returns  and  the killing joke   burtons film is a feast for the eyes  the 35 million budget is definitely on the screen  the sets  costumes  and makeup are stunning and worthy of oscar nominations  nicholson isnt joking when he boasts   wait till they get a load of me   his grimacing smile  green hair  and purple suits over orange shirts are colorful and outrageous  keatons wardrobe is equally appropriate  batmans cape  mask  and body armor make him look threatening  frightening  and invincible bringing to mind not adam wests campy costume in the tv series but peter weirs outfit in robocop  production designer anton fursts sets are a wonder  gotham city is dark and foreboding  almost as if it were an expressionist vision of new york  the batcave is cold  bare  and desolate  the world that burton and furst have created in batman is a melancholy nightmare of violence and corruption  the movies gritty bladerunnerrobocop look is a joy to behold  the plot  on the other hand  is not as rousing  the screenplay is not up to snuff in comparison to the stylized sets and superb acting  it takes forever for what little story there is to finally kick into gear  batman tries to walk a thin line between action and character psychology  but it fails to give us enough of either one  as i mentioned earlier  the screenplay gives us plenty of the joker  but it never fully establishes batmans psychological motives and underpinnings  in terms of action  batman is not as thrilling as you might expect  burton seems more concerned with the visual and dramatic elements of the story  more than anything  batman is a mood film  while batman may not completely absorb and excite you  it will likely impress you with its success at bringing to life the style and spirit of the batman comic books  thanks to its distinctive look  the movie like a good comic book transports us to another world  
pos	casting  doogie howser  star neil patrick harris as mindreading military intelligence is only one of the guilty pleasures of  starship troopers   a hugely entertaining  megabudgeted scifi yarn directed by paul verhoeven  whos making quite a recovery from his 1995 gstring epic  showgirls   sure   starship troopers  qualifies as cinematic junk food  but thats forgivable when the junk food is this tasty  everyone needs a highcalorie changeofpace from falls onslaught of costume dramas and other assorted oscar bait  and  troopers  does the job admirably despite its flaws  for its first hour   starship troopers  plays like a cheeky futuristic hybrid of  saved by the bell  and  g  i  jane   in the distant years ahead  high school grad johnny rico  casper van dien  signs up for federal service along with his girlfriend carmen  denise richards   he gets accepted into the mobile infantry but she wants to travel to the fleet academy to become a starship pilot  so the couple is broken up  but theres temptation awaiting both of them  johnnys is in the form of an old friend  dina meyer  also in the infantry and still harboring a secret crush  while carmen attracts the eye of her flirtatious instructor  patrick muldoon   personal rivalry and sexual jealousy carry over into the final 65 minutes  when an impending alien menace begins making good on its threatening presence and obliterates part of south america  killing johnnys parents and destroying his home  our weakening  lovesick protagonist is given new reasons to stick around the mobile infantry  and is dispatched with a group of fellow fighters to the aliens home planet  where he will head up a ground assault to end the threat for good  but the enemy is far smarter  more diabolical and numerous than the good guys give them credit for  and after an initial walloping  they must reexamine their strategy  the exposition  played like a futuristic soap opera  is silly  but aware of its own ridiculousness enough to merit more smiles than groans  once we get past the campy character introductions and the numerous  but never boring  training sessions   starship troopers  really kicks into high gear  its last half is all gruesomely violent action  a fury of severed limbs  decapitations  disembowelments  brain removal  explosions and other joltinducers that are really going to please the 13 and 14yearold boys lucky enough to dodge getting carded or caught on their way into this deservedly rrated show  the creature design and special effects are amazing as expected  and their interaction with the human actors are a realistic  imaginative high point  its nice to see intergalactic beasties that arent too derivative of the titular menace from  alien   these monsters are appropriately terrifying sights  especially the arachnids  a spiderscorpioncrab combo thats all sharp talons and even sharper legs  they attack in packs of hundreds  and its a funny  scary sight to see these bugs take repeated hits and still crawl  jerk and struggle towards their intended victims in a determined  gooey mess  it matters not that they actually have a laughable master plan in mind  ask yourself if a species like this seems capable of carrying out such a plot   these sequences of insect warfare are numerous  bloody and immensely satisfying  the occasional dramatic moments  one cast members death  the final resolution to johnnys love triangle  are botched  a testament to how  starship troopers  fails to create any strong  outstanding characters  these bland kenandbarbie archetypes serve the story adequately enough to keep any distractions at arms length  but restrain the film from achieving a higher ground a la  star wars   where even the slightest aliens had definite personality  the acting is decent  but never spectacular   most of the performers hail from aaron spelling territory  smallish roles on  beverly hills 90210  andor  melrose place   and it occasionally shows  van dien  for example  is limited but perfectly likeable  in smaller parts are the aforementioned neil patrick harris as johnnys best friend and jake busey  garys son  as johnnys sidekick  the latter excels at playing creeps  see  the frighteners  or  contact   but seems offkilter as a second banana   starship troopers  is based on the novel by robert heinlein  a scifi writer who hasnt exactly seen any recent adaptation justice done to any of his books what with 1994s howler  the puppet masters   but the overall familiarity to the  alien  trilogy  and the promise of great gobs of gore  could act as a crowddrawer  its own possible influence  however  might well work against it when the franchise continuation  alien  resurrection  opens in a few weeks  we will know then which film to crown as the best summer movie of the fall  
pos	historical epic as a genre was almost banished from hollywood in early 1990s  for many critics  scholars and  most importantly  film producers  it was a thing of the past  something that could have attracted crowds only in the era of blackandwhite television and noncgi special effects  but in 1995  same as in the case of dances with wolves five years ago  there came the man who decided to use of all his energy and talents of actor  producer and director in order to revitalise that particular genre  and  same as in the case of dances with wolves  he was awarded for his effort with  oscars   the name of the film was braveheart  and the name of its director and main actor was mel gibson  the plot chronicles the life of scottish warlord and folk hero william wallace  1272  1305   in his time  english king edward i  longshanks   played by patrick mcgoohan  has almost completely subdued entire british isles  including scotland  whose proud inhabitants are now subjected by  ius primae noctis  and various other forms of humiliation and oppression by english knights  although english had killed his father many years ago  young scottish commoner william wallace  played by mel gibson  doesnt care about politics and wants only to have peaceful life with his new bride murron  played by catherine maccormack   murrons death changes that and wallace takes arms and  together with small but dedicated band of followers  begins guerrilla campaign that would systematically destroy almost every english garrison in the country  through time  more and more people join his ranks and in 1298 wallaces ragtag army scores surprising victory against english knights in the battle of stirling bridge  but the newly won freedom is endangered by the internal squabbles between scots themselves  especially nobles under pretender robert the bruce  played by angus macfadyen   who wouldnt like to have a simple commoner as a national leader  braveheart was only the second film in the directorial career by mel gibson  so it wouldnt be fair to compare it to the better known genre classics directed by david lean or anthony mann  however  even when we apply such criteria braveheart is more than decent historical epic that takes new and refreshing approach to the genre  the most noticeable element of this approach is naturalism  while older hollywood films set in medieval europe used to give fairytalelike vision of picturesque castles  splendid costumes and knights in shining armour  gibson shows us the extremely unpleasant world of poverty and feudal injustice where might made right and life was hard  short and brutish  this general unpleasantness is especially underlined in the scenes of battle  where handtohand combat is naturalistically displayed in all its gory details  never seen since verhoevens ultranaturalistic flesh  blood  compared with this naturalistic approach  most of old hollywood epics look like stage plays  braveheart also employs humour at the right places  not only to make bloody realities of medieval british isles more bearable to sensitive audiences  but also to underline its downtoearth atmosphere  so different from previous historical epics  what makes braveheart  larger than life  is his protagonist  mel gibson obviously invested plenty of his energy and talent in bringing the mythical figure of william wallace and  as a result  character of 15th century poems is transformed into superhuman being that resembles late 20th century comic book hero  wallace is more than superior to his enemies  both physically and mentally  yet he is able to show his sensitive  more vulnerable side  naturally  when the character is based on epic poems  most of historical accuracy is going down the drain  which was the case with almost every historical epic from hollywood in 1990s   however  even those who dont particularly care about history or are willing to give poetic license to scriptwriter randall wallace might think that he went over the top in idolising wallace  especially in the second part of film when scottish superhero manages to seduce princess isabel  played by sophie marceau  and make her a child  because of that the disbelief is hardly suspended  and final scenes arent as effective as they should be  mel gibson as an actor is truly wonderful  and he is also helped by small army of very good british and irish actors  most memorable of them all is patrick mcgoohan  whose cold  calculated and evil medieval monarch is one of the most effective villains seen in contemporary cinema  brendan gleeson  who would later become famous for his role in boormans general  is also very good as wallaces trusted companion  as well as ian bannen is effective as leprosystricken king john balliol  david oharra is very entertaining as wallaces irish ally  and angus macfadyen brings a lot of anxiety into his consciencestricken character of robert the bruce  women in this film have rather thankless roles  especially marceau as onedimensional french princess  catherine mccormack as wallaces wife was more interesting  but she was eliminated from the picture early on  from the technical point of view  the film is also very good  photography by john toll brings a lot of scottish natural beauty to the screen  on the other hand  the musical score by james horner employs too much of modernday instruments for period piece set in medieval times  although mostly welcomed by critics and audiences alike  braveheart was often criticised for homophobia and other forms of extreme conservatism  the main reason for that was the fact that gibson  among many historical facts  chose to be faithful only to those related to sexual orientation of  longshank  s son prince edward  played by peter hanly   he is not only presented as a villain  but also as one of the less competent in villains camp  and portraying of homosexuals as villains or inferior to heterosexuals is almost unforgivable sin in  politically correct  hollywood  to make things even more obvious  good guys in this film are the total opposite of effeminate and incompetent edward  rugged macho men of mountains who are more practical and efficient because they tend to employ conservatives common sense instead of fashionable theories of ivory tower liberals  however  although the message of this film might look rightwing  it owes more to leftist ideology of various national liberation movements in 20th century  according to that ideology  oppressed classes  workers  peasants  are better suited to fight for national freedom because their members has less to lose in that struggle and  as such  they are more radical  less willing to make compromises and more efficient  on the other hand  privileged classes  aristocracy  bourgeoisie  are more likely to betray the cause of freedom and be in cahoots with foreign oppressors in order to keep their privileges  this marxist worldview is presented in braveheart without any subtlety  in the end  whether the audience is patient enough to discover hidden meanings or simply wants to enjoy entertaining historical epic  braveheart is more than adequate choice for all fans of this recently resurrected genre  
pos	if you had a chance to create a genetically perfect child  would you do it   gattaca  is a film which presents a future where society has answered  yes  to this question  but then ponders if this was actually the right decision   gattaca  came out only a couple months following the first genetically engineered creature  the lovable dolly the sheep  and with this in mind  the film only becomes more frightening  the way the realm of genetics is heading  it may only take a couple decades until the future  gattaca  presents becomes true  contrary to the misleading trailers   gattaca  is not a scifi thriller  in the way that theres lots of murder  hitchcockian suspense  and chase scenes  this is a quiet  sad film about intelligent theories  in fact  the film seems like it would have been written by george orwell or aldous huxley  the latter whos novel  brave new world  featured genetically engineered children   its a film that may likely become a cult hit to people who are frightened by a promise of shallow utopia  which is exactly what  gattaca  presents    and the main reason i dug it so much  the story revolves around the genetically insufficient vincent freeman  ethan hawke   a man with high hopes but a 90 chance of heart problems  and a prospected life span of around 30 years  as a child  he was put down because of the threats of genetics  while his younger genetically perfect brother  anton  loren dean   was promised whatever his heart desired  vincent yearns to be an astronaut  but when he gets a job at a giant space company  its as a janitor  ernest borgnine plays his boss    but one day  he finds out that its probably possible that his desires can come true in the form of a business deal brought out by a black market geneticist  or something   german   wings   tony shalhoub  who did like hundreds of cameos in films back in 97   men in black    a life less ordinary       whos client is a genetically perfect man  jerome morrow  jude law   who has unfortunately been crippled  fortunately  though  theres no record of the accident  and hes willing to give someone else his life  since vincent looks a bit like him    after a couple alterations  some minor  some really major   he has donned the life of jerome  and is doing his job  there  he meets a genetically imperfect woman  irene  uma thurman  whos genetically perfect in real life anyway  hee hee   and the two begin a kind of relationship  albeit a very shallow one since romance is deemed by how great a mans stats are  however  a murder of a highlevel worker at his office is killed  and one of vincentjeromes eyelashes is found by the anal retentive investigators headed by a semiwily inspector  hugo   alan arkin   and none other than vincents long lost brother  anton  who hasnt seen him since they were teenagers  we know vincentjerome didnt do it  but with his older picture being posted everywhere  not only vincentjeromes in trouble  but also the real jerome  whos as much in it as he is  however  there isnt many big suspense set pieces  which is actually a blessing because if they were tossed in  the film would lose its message and descend into just being a scifi thriller a la william gibson  the suspense in the film comes from the idea that vincent and jerome can easily be captured just by dropping a hair or dead skin  while there are several scenes which are pretty frightening  there are no big distractions from the point of the film  much to the dismay of commercial audiences  what is actually portrayed is the lack of life in the utopian society that is created  irene has no real spunk in her life  and is rather amazed by the sheer beauty of a sunrise rather than genetically perfect people  and the genetically flawless jerome is in actuality a bitter man  claiming that his accident was really no accident  what jerome has done is fool the system in giving a man who yearns for better things a chance at that  and the ending is shocking as its a definite work of dystopian propaganda  but doesnt have the down ending of other works of this kind  the production design of this film is probably the best ive seen this year  its stunning  very pleasing to the eye  but still very cold  since genetics has ruled out any chance of improvement  the world has cooled into a state of inhumanity  and the sets echo a sense of shallow misery  and the sequence of all the highlevel workers doing their jobs has a kind of gilliamesque feel to it  showing the nightmare of slipping into a routine zombielike life  the ability to perfect people has left humanity cold and generally unhappy  the acting from everyone is great  with thurman giving a wonderfully cold performance  and hawke creating a character who has been beaten down by the system but has found a new sense of optimism by a bitter man who was willing to give it out anyway  interesting pointless fact  uma and ethan started dating after this film  and currently she is pregnant with his child   but the best performance belongs to jude law  who steals every scene hes in  and creates a character filled with the pessimism over having such a horrible burden placed on his burden  i think that people are generally tempted by the fact that genetics can actually create perfection in a child  but whether or not they would actually act on this temptation is something im not sure of   gattaca  warns us not to go any farther  chiefly because well create a world of elitism where the elite are shallow and unhappy  and as bitter and angry as the lesser people are  and when i see a possible future featuring a 12fingered piano player  well folks  that just creeps me out  
pos	in one scene from  the people vs  larry flynt   the hustler magazine publisher appears at a selfstaged free speech rally  as graphic photos flash on a huge screen behind him  flynt strides confidently across the stage  delivering a rousing speech over what really constitutes obscenity  the spectacle was reminiscent of the scene in  patton  where the general spoke in front of a giant american flag  both scenes were stirring  larger than life  richly entertaining  and felt totally like contrived set pieces for big hollywood movies  overall  that sums up  the people vs  larry flynt   the film is a wildly entertaining hoot which  despite being based on fact  feels like a big  phony hollywood movie  the son of a kentucky moonshiner  flynt  woody harrelson  ran away from home and ended up operating strip clubs in cincinnati  there he met althea leasure  courtney love   a bisexual stripper who became his fourth wife and the love of his life  to bolster interest in his clubs  he started a sexually explicit newsletter that grew into hustler magazine  flynt  along with the magazines ragtag management team  headed by his brother jimmy  played nicely by woodys reallife brother  steak  shake commercial veteran brett harrelson   viewed playboy magazine with contempt  they mocked its slick articles and airbrushed photos  striving to keep hustler focused on  what guys really want   explicit photos that would make a gynecologist squirm  and extremely crude humor  the films prime example of hustlers attitude is a cartoon depicting characters from the wizard of oz in an orgy  giving the audience an opportunity to giggle at flynts  naughtiness   director milos forman conveniently ignores the magazines frequent attempts to derive humor from child molestation  racism  and endless scatological cartoons  flynts rag labored in welldeserved obscurity until he published nude photos of jacqueline onassis  which brought the magazine international attention  big money and the attention of conservatives  an obscenity bust followed  the first in a long series of battles between flynt and the law  lawyer alan isaacman  edward norton  enters the scene  hired by flynts wife  norton  an exceptional actor  is wonderful as the beleaguered lawyer trying to navigate the legal system while dealing with flynts increasingly childish and bizarre behavior  in court  we meet the sputtering conservatives  headed by citizens for decency leader charles keating  james cromwell   as keating blathers about flynts immorality  the camera slowly moves in for a closeup of his name tag  inviting the audience to gloat at the notion of morality being trumpeted by keating  who was later convicted in a 2 billion sl fraud  flynts other prime foe is rev  jerry falwell  who sues over a hustler parody involving him and his mother having sex in an outhouse  tragedy strikes as flynt is shot by a wouldbe assassin  leaving him paralyzed from the waist down  a dark period follows  as flynt and leasure hole up in an l  a  suite  strung out on pain killers  flynt eventually kicks drugs  but leasure succumbs to addiction  and later  aids  after watch falwell on tv  describing aids as a punishment from god  flynt directs his lawyer to take the falwell case to the supreme court  leading to the films climactic courtroom scene   the people vs  larry flynt  is at its weakest when moralizing on free speech and lionizing flynt   if theyll protect a scumbag like me  then theyll protect all of you   declared flynt  hes right  of course  but the director forman cheats in portraying the opposition as little more than hypocritical buffoons  he also cheats in casting woody harrelson as flynt  harrelson is an attractive  charismatic man  and his strong performance paints flynt as a colorful folk hero  even a cursory look at the real flynt  who is making the talk show circuit  and plays the judge in an early courtroom scene  shows a bloated  morose and bitter man  an accurate portrayal of flynt would have made a more difficult film to watch  but a richer one  despite its flaws   flynt  is a fast moving  rousing movie with some terrific acting  especially by courtney love  whose vibrant performance will likely garner an oscar nod  the story may be candycoated  but its still delicious candy  
pos	we all know the fate of  childs play   which is the same for almost any film these days that does marginally well financially  sequel hell  with the newest installment in the quasipopular series currently out  that would be  bride of chucky   and it grossed 11 million in its opening weekend  which i think is the sign of the apocalypse number five   its kinda fun to go back and see how it all began rougly ten years ago with the original  a task which is a retread for some  and for others  namely myself  a chance to see what all the fuss was about  alas  the original  childs play  actually isnt that bad  even seeing it in the tiny  claustrophobic  and mechanicallychallenged theatre at my college wasnt the horribly dull experience i thought it would be  not just because of the nicely rowdy crowd  which you almost need to watch a film like this  and if you dont believe me  try and watch this flick by yourself one day   but because as a whole  this isnt a bad movie  its not great  but it does have two things that many horror films like this one dont have  1  a rather nifty premise  and 2  a sense of humor  both which save this from horror hell  which is precisely where  say   i know what you did last summer  has recently gone  the premise of  childs play  is that a serial killer named charles lee ray  brad douriff  is shot and almost killed by a chicago hardboiled detective  chris surrandon  see what happens to some oscar nominees    and before he dies  utters a voodoo chant that sends his soul directly into a kids doll called chucky  a doll which has got to be the scariestlooking kids doll ive ever seen  the next day  a bum whos stolen it sells it to singlemother karen barclay  catherine hicks   who then gives it to her young son andy  alex vincent  for his birthday  of course chucky begins talking to the kid and trying to find a way to get out of the doll  but certain twists come up  like the guy he learned voodoo from reveals to him that the only way to break the curse is to take over the body of the first person he told he was inside the doll  that being andy  and soon enough  chucky is killing people either for revenge or for what seems like fun  and people are discovering that chucky isnt just a kiddie doll one by one  the idea is a neat one  ripe for lots of comic terror  and luckily it utlizes a lot of that  it plays with an idea stolen from a classic looney toons short that when someone knows that chucky is alive  they tell people about it  but when he tries to prove themselves  chucky does nothing  and everyone thinks theyre crazy  it plays with this  as well as the whole childlike thought that dolls and toys come to life  and even manages to cram in a couple really frightening moments  even if theres an entire sequence devoted to cliches  a woman alone in a house hears a noise  goes to investigate it  and finds nothing  but wait for the kicker a second later    theres also a harrowing car ride with chucky trying to knife the detective from the back seat  and then trying to attack him when the car finally crashes  leaving the viewer with at least rather visceral exprience  the ending is rather fun  as well  albeit a tad too drawnout  about four different endings  maybe five   and the characters are more intelligent than the average horror film lineup  making them easier to sympathize with  if theres one horrible thing about many horror films  its that the protagonists are morons who you cant help but shout obscenities at  and for the most part   childs play  steers away from that  and most of all  the chucky character is a good one  not just because he provides instant comic relief  look  that dolls moving on its own    but because hes a generally scary character  if theres anything really wrong with  childs play   its that its too trite and has too less self esteem  at almost 90 minutes   childs play  features way too less to be a real classic of horror  it throws itself into a simple three act setup that renders it quick and almost forgettable if it werent for the fact that the film deals with a psychotic doll  if the film had more confidence in what it was presenting  it would really push the envelope and become even more than just a short bit of horror escapism  which is precisely why this kind of film is only memorable as a cheap little horor film    which isnt necessarily a bad thing  as such   childs play  is content to be just the short  typical horror film  but saves itself via a sense of humor and a nice quasicampy feel that makes it much more enjoyable than the average short  typical horror film  
pos	director  penelope spheeris  decline of western civilization ii  the  metal years  dudes   suburbia  cast  mike myers  wayne campbell   dana carvey  garth algar    rob lowe  benjamin oliver   tia carrere  cassandra  summary  wayne and garth have a public access show called  waynes  world   the show is a underground hit  until benjamin  oliver comes onto the scene  benjamin wants to turn the  show into a big hit nationwide  possibly destroying the  essence of  waynes world  in the process  expectations  medium long review  i must admit being a bit reluctant going into this film  i didnt believe that they  mike myers and dana carvey  could hold it up for an hour and a half  i figured that perhaps the first halfhour would be great  and the rest would be  fluff   however  i was really surprised about how well they were able to keep the laughs going for the virtually the whole film  with the exception of the ending   which i wont discuss for obvious reasons  but its not  that  bad   story  the plot was quite thin  but it really wasnt that noticeable  because of the rapidfire jokes that myers wrote in  alot of the jokes are very similar to hot shots   in being very  parodyish    okay  bad term   extremely witty throughout  although  as in hot shots  it got a bit repetitive in the middle  acting  as in many comedies  the acting isnt really  that  important  however  myers turns in a good performance as wayne  playing the character perfectly   although i still liked him better back on much music  in a more  canadian  type of mode   carvey is okay as garth  but he lacks the spark myers puts into wayne  tia carrere is mediocre as cassandra  playing it very stilted  lowe is fine as ben oliver  but is nothing to write home about  without a doubt  this movie is mike myers all the way  direction  spheeris is a classic  music  movie director  making dudes  and decline of western civilization ii  the metal years   she also directed the boys next door  which is different  to say the least   she is very capable  knows how direct a comedy  the correct camera movements it instill laughs  etc  one of the better jobs i can remember for a comedy  overall  i would suggest to anyone that likes snls skits to go see this film in the theatres  however  my personal opinion  as in most comedies  is that they work just as well on video  you definately have to be fan of music  and all forms of media in general to enjoy this film  without a doubt  this is the best comedy so far this year  itll make tons o dough for everyone involved  lets just hope they make a thousand sequels  sorry  i had to get the lame joke in    forgive me   
pos	natural born killers is really a very simple story that  in essence  has already been told in bonnie  clyde with some major variations in emphasis  mood and degree  both films glamorize  outlaws   in one case bank robbers and killers and in the other mass murderers  both relate the story of a couple liberated by love  but where bonnie  clyde was partial and subtle  natural born killers is total and blatant  where bonnie  clyde was social  natural born killers is psychological  what bonnie  clyde hinted at  natural born killers confronts and explores  what bonnie and clyde stole  mickey and mallory kill  to examine natural born killers as nothing more than a psychological odyssey of realization and exposure of the frauds surrounding them  expressed metaphorically as killing  subdues the mysterious power this film wields  for the most part  when mickey and mallory kill  they kill all that frustrates them unnecessarily  they kill what is trying to kill them  they kill what dissembles and cowers from life  they kill what needs to be killed  this mythos is at least as old as the hindu trinity  brahma created  vishnu preserved  and siva destroyed  but he destroyed what needed to be destroyed to make way for the useful creations of brahma  the following may be painfully mundane but metaphorically so accurate  im forced to say it for claritys sake  a plumber must remove the old lead and copper pipes  that is  destroy the old plumbing system in order to replace it with the new one made of plastics  your plumber  bonnie and clyde  mickey and mallory  and siva are all productive destroyers  i think you could say without much of a challenge that religion is responsible for more killing and death  presently and historically  than any other phenomena  muslims kill christians  hindus kill muslims  christians kill pagans  jews kill christians  etc  you could reverse subject and predicate in each instance and still not be challenged  religion is an orgy of killing  the institution of the state only misses first place for technical reasons like it hasnt been a major player for as long or the two are frequently indistinguishable   the state is the divine idea upon earth   hegel said  meaning it is absolute  allpowerful  ineffable  unassailable  infallible  authoritarian and patriarchal just like jhvh  allah  god  etc  well  what does all this have to do with natural born killers  let me first say that religions of this nature  in the ideal  take the place of sex  consider the catholic church  which in its heydey  took religion as seriously as any other religion or institution ever  god takes the place of sex as manifested in all those vows of celibacy taken by the pope  cardinals  bishops  monks  etc  they forego the one  in order to come closer to the other  during the middle ages  when this doctrine was unmitigated and unchallenged  the most repressive regime the west has ever known in terms of scope and magnitude rose to power   parenthetically  witness plato as well  in the republic  he attempted to launch the first systematic absolutist regime  not coincidentally he was something of a mystic himself  regularly assailing the passions   catholicism  as policy  attacks the passions as evil  it sees intercourse only as a means to perpetuate the species not as a way to pleasure  masturbation is considered a sin with the sacrament of penance necessary for absolution  this is religion  this is authoritarianism in its essence  as further evidence  the nazis had the same attitudes as the church on these matters  our culture  most of the cultures of the world have been steeped in this tradition for thousands of years  we cant help but adopt  even internalize some of these same authoritarian attitudes  leading to a destructive split between the biological and social self  mickey and mallory knox internalized them  too  then through spontaneous sexual awareness sparked in each one of them by the presence of the other  discovered them  and began expurgating them from themselves and from the world in the process unifying themselves  it is a straightforward liberation through sex  as some good patriarch once observed   you can maintain control as long as everyone keeps their clothes on   mm had a vision of what the world would be like without contradictions  they saw what civilization and culture and everyday life would be like under such conditions   the moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers   as mickey says  as a the most consistent and impassioned critic of western culture there is nietzsche applying his typical stridency to the matter  let us look each other in the face  we are hyberboreanswe know well enough how remote our place is   neither by land nor by water will you find the road to the hyberboreans   even pindar  in his day  knew that much about us  beyond the north  beyond ice  beyond deathour life  our happiness     we have discovered that happiness  we know the way  we got our knowledge of it from thousands of years in the labyrinth  who else has found it  the man of today    i dont know either the way out or the way in  i am whatever doesnt know either the way out or the way in  so sighs the man of today     this is the sort of modernity that made us illwe sickened in lazy peace  cowardly compromise  the whole virtuous dirtiness of the modern yea and nay  this tolerance and largeur of the heart that  forgives  everything because it  understands  everything is a sirocco to us  rather live amid the ice than among modern virtues and other such southwinds  as far as i can tell  this is what the movie has to say  its alleged critique of the media is only secondary  tertiary  quaternary  subsidiary for sure  for example wayne gayles first report ends with some gen x dude saying   if i were a mass murderer id be mickey and mallory   in his most excellent bill and ted voice  on one level you cd make the humdrum observation that because the media had glamorized these two psychopaths that the uncritical  impressionable gen x dumb guy confused the matter and took them for heroes  it seems more likely that he made an independent judgement at a subconscious level recognizing what mm were up to and confessing that if he had the balls to be so honest with himself hed be just like them  killing and destroying what deserves it  let me exemplify what ive been saying by analyzing a scene from the film  namely the scene where mallory fucks the gas station attendant  kills him  and then castigates him for giving her  the worst fuckin head ive ever had in my life     now  i never claimed that mickey and mallory had a perfect relationship  because demonstrably they didnt  and this scene and the ones leading up to it show us this  sometimes they are the source of each others frustrations  but unwilling to kill each other  since they love each other so much and are responsible for each others liberation  they must kill in place of their lever  its no secret that in this scene mallory fantasized that her victim was mickey  as the attendant approached he took on mickeys character in the eyes of mallory  she needed to kill him because of he kidnapped that girl in the hotel room and was having secret fantasies about her while making love to mallory  upon discovery  mallory views this as a betrayal  judges him  and commutes his sentence on someone else  the style of the movie is a whole nother matter that i wont get into very deeply but surely it is partially responsible for its power  let me just say that its editing has the opposite effect of a western with shots that linger forever on a salon entrance or the like suggesting the expansiveness  barreness and boredom of the frontier lifestyle  the rapid succession of all those 8mm  16mm  35mm images from various perspectives with a soundtrack sometimes in sync and sometimes out of sink instills a skittish  frenetic mood  also  jungian archetypes abound  these cant help but trigger deep psychological responses we can barely understand especially when they flash across the screen for barely a few frames  some of the best scenes and lines that come to mind   quotes are paraphrased only   mickey to mallory   one of these days im gonna be cummin for you   in prison  while mallory jacks mickey off  semen is a symbol for great potential and things to come  at the time they havent yet had sex nor have they killed anyone yet  the two of course go hand in hand  for an even more explicit semen scene see silence of the lambs  mickey during his marriage to mallory   as creator of my universe  i pronounce us man and wife   the way woody delivers this line is truly haunting  but telling  too  it reveals mm are well on their way to expunging all their destructive tendencies and replacing them with positive ones  this is what mickey means by  creator of my universe   he is giving himself or creating for himself healthy attitudes  it is not necessarily a schizophrenic retreat into solipsism as it first appears  scagnettis first meeting with mallory is through her pubic hair he plucks from the gas station attendants mouth  the indian sage releasing mallorys father  who was reincarnated as a snake   old man  go be a snake   after telling his  snake story  that ends with  bitch  you knew i was a snake   after mickey shoots this sage to death during a bewildering nightmare  mallory says   you killed life     this is another telling quote because it implies they didnt see themselves as killers of life  then what were they killing up to that time  in some case just those zombies faking their way through life  the living dead  as it were  in other cases  all the antilife forces  the cops and their parents  the butterfly just before the movie shifts into the prison  it of course symbolizes rebirth  dr  emil reingold  as portrayed by steven wright  passing judgement on mm   mickey and mallory know the difference between right and wrong  they just dont give a damn   this is reminiscent of nietzsches whole philosophy  and maybe a direct reference to his beyond good and evil  mickey   the rabbit says the moment of realization is worth 1000 prayers   mickey  again in his interview    me and you  we are not the same species   notice when the escape is in progress we get some role reversals in terms of leadership and control  mickey the prisoner becomes the leader of his little gang  the wardens become prisoners and the civilians like wayne gayle and his producer follow the leader  no matter who it is  mickey  how ya feelin  wayne  fucking great  mickey  you got the feelin  wayne  im alive  im alive for the first fuckin time  what an incredible transformation this is  he got the feeling and he couldnt contain himself  what a feeling  that feeling of metaphysical freedom that you can create your own universe  mickey when almost caught in a dead end   think  think  think  think   go figure it out  dwight  tommy lee jones  in general  because he may be the sickest fuck in the whole film  his whole attitude can be summed up with   destroy them     
pos	the bond series is an island in the film world  where else would we look forward to cliches  and all of the other things that occur in most of these films  where else would pure escapism  a vulnerable hero  the  talking villains   blatant product placement  predictable action sequences  and lots of promiscuity be hoped for instead of a significant change  i dont understand it myself  but thats what the bond series is based on  for  i think  18 films  weve mostly got the same thing over and over again  with some variation  and a bit of change  most notably in the two dalton films   but even i  a king of cynicism  cant bitch about it  and  tomorrow never dies   the  again  i think  eighteenth bond film  and second brosnan bond film  is no exception  thank god  the plot  as in most of them  is pure balderdash  but seems to have a nice kind of edge to it  instead of just plain billionaire psychotics  we get a rupert murdochesque media mogulpsychotic  elliot carver  jonathan pryce  looking bitching with a whitehaired cru cut  and always talking like hes out of breath   who has the admittingly ingenius idea of getting ratings by creating a war  no  this is not  wag the dog   he wants a real war  between china and england  and is stupid enough to put the coverage out before anyone else discovered it    in comes bond  james is sent all around the world  trying to do research on carver  fighting with his men  and running into  on more than one occasion  a chinese secret agent like him  wai lin  michelle yeoh  asian action star extraordinaire    and costar of  supercop   nearly stealing the screen from jackie chan in that one   the two eventually  and predictably of course  begin working together  and yes  there is some sexual tension between the two  luckily  their relationship is never strained  and she never gives into his cassanovaness until the finale  thank god again  in every bond film  james bags  on average  three women  sometimes more  sometimes less  the latter being more potent towards the aidscautionary dalton   and he doesnt spoil this one  though we never see them  of course  i mean  they need to stay around a pg13 rating   theres always one at the beginning with some chick we never see again  the big bond girl  yeoh   and this time we have an almostcameo by teri hatcher as carvers wife  paris  who  it seems  was once one of the girls he bags at the beginning  yes  teris very attractive  but she seems kind of dull  of course  its not really her fault  her part is underwritten  and shes only in a small part of it  oh well  and there are always the big henchmen  the guys who do the dirty work for the polished big villains  this time we get a tall  arianlooking  not to mention robert shaw in  from russia with love  looking  guy named stamper  goetz otto   who is pretty awesome  although a bit stiff  well  mostly his posture  really   and for a bit of comedy  we get a cameo from vincent shiavelli as a german or austrian assassin who is ordered to do in bond at one point  the government people have small parts  as usual  with q  desmond llewelyn  looking near death  sadly  getting only one scene  in a more grouchy mood than usual   and m  judi dench   getting more than m usually gets  i mean  it is judi dench   and for no reason whatsoever  except cause he was so good in  goldeneye   joe don baker shows up again as wade  admitting he has no reason for being there  and is this time more annoying  again  oh well  the action sequences are not a letdown  although sometimes go on too long  they pop up every now and then  mainly because they have to  for the sake of the series   and some significant ones are the opening one  one in a garage with a bmw that runs on remote control  and a motorcylce chase  on a bmw cycle  nonetheless  through china streets  or was it vietnam    the plots not really essential   theyre more hightech  and feature much more laughs  which  yeah  i dig  so what if theyre distracting  theyre supposed to be  the acting  from most around is great  yeoh is  actually  one of the better bond girls  mainly because shes so unique  the better bond girls are more independent  and have a certain wilyness to them  pussy galore  with her homoerotic undertones and all  is one of the best  and diana rigg  who married bond at the end of  on her majestys secret service  only to be killed  added some emotional depth  yeoh is notable since shes so active  and has great chemistry with brosnan  pryce is an awesome villain  being slimy and lovable at the same time  and brosnan is  once again  the mack daddy  the bond series is built on cliches  mainly because theyre so fun and add to the escapism  if you can remember the dalton years  and theyre serious direction  you remember how unsuccessful they were  both financially and aesthetically  the series would falter if bogged down with too much plot  too many themes  and too much characterization  i dont really understand it myself  yet im one of the bigger fans of the series in the northeast united states  having seen all of them more than once  yes  ive seen this twice already   you can tell i adore them  while its not one of the best  like  goldfinger  or  from russia with love    tomorrow never dies  is nonetheless a truly awesome installment  even if not being as fully amazing as some of the better ones  
pos	this sometimestedious and oftenmoving documentary charts the life and times of anne frank  the young diarist and mostfamous victim of adolph hitler  writerdirectorproducer jon blair has collected a staggering amount of historical material on both anne and the frank family  we meet miep gies  one of the familys protectors who is still alive  she recounts how she found the diary in the days after the germans captured the franks  we watch otto frank  annes father and surviving family member  in interview footage filmed before his death  blair successfully combines these clips  footage  and other historical records to recount exactly what happened during that terrible period of european history  as narrated by kenneth branagh and with diary excepts read by glenn close  anne frank remembered retells more than just annes story  we meet and learn about the  many  friends  family members  and acquaintances whose lives were touched by this young woman and her writings  winner of the last years academy award for best documentary  
pos	john sayles  men with guns  is about what happens to a society when brute force and constant threat of violence are the only means of gaining and maintaining power  the film takes place in an unnamed central american country  where the men with guns are the rulers  most of the country is divided into tiny segments  some are controlled by guerrillas with guns  some are controlled by army soldiers with guns  and all the spaces inbetween are controlled by thieves  bandits  and terrorists  all people not fitting one of those descriptions are defined only by their powerlessness  however  like so many central american countries  this one also features modernity  there is an unnamed capital city that bears all the hallmarks of contemporary civilization  skyscrapers  hospitals  televisions  highways  etc  but  it might as well be in another country because those who live in the comforts of the city have either decided to ignore the violence ravaging the rest of the land  or else they are simply ignorant of it  the films main character  dr  fuentes  federico luppi  falls into the latter category  one of his patients  an army general  describes him as the most educated man he has ever met  and also the most naive  fuentes is a true liberal  a caring man who thinks he can cure the ills of his country by fighting bacteria and ignorance among the indigenous indians  with government assistance  he has trained a large group of eager young medical students and sent them into the rainforest to cure and educate  this program was to be his legacy  and he repeats over and over that it was a good idea  however  when he ventures into that same rainforest to visit his prot  g  s  he finds that things have not turned out as he has envisioned  as he travels deeper into the forest  going from village to village  the story is always the same  the doctors were all killed by either the guerrillas or the army soldiers  usually for helping the other  when dr  fuentes asks a village woman why the army killed one of the doctors  she replies simply   because they had guns  and we didnt   rational science and all its attempts to cure have been wiped out by the men with guns  because others sickness and ignorance helps them maintain power  dr  fuentes picks up several companions during his journey  all of whom are characterized by their loss  first  there is a young boy named conejo  dan rivera gonz  lez   who has neither a mother nor a father  next  fuentes crosses paths with a thief named domingo  dami  n delgado   who deserted the army because he was tired of being jeered into committing murderous atrocities  through his ordeal in the army  domingo has lost most of his selfrespect  and defines himself only by his pistol  along the way  the group also picks up padre portillo  dami  n alc  zar   a priest who has lost his faith  as domingo is running from the army  so is portillo  he has been labeled a guerrilla sympathizer  and ran away from the village in which he was preaching  last  the group takes on a mute girl named graciela  tania cruz   who hasnt spoken since she was raped two years earlier  her innocence and even her will to live forcefully taken from her  sayles two major strengths as a director  characters and setting  are abundantly evident in  men with guns    like many of his films  sayles might have tightened this one somewhat in the editing room  but a longerthannecessary running time is a sin almost always committed when the director is also the editor   he creates fascinating  complex characters  especially dr  fuentes and domingo  their uneasy relationship is also somewhat humorous in context of the films overarching theme of violence as power  domingos attempts to control fuentes with his revolver are constantly undermined by fuentes belief that the revolver is unloaded  at first it is  but later is isnt   the setting is also as thick with detail as the rainforest itself  sayles knows how to bring a location to life  whether it be an early twentiethcentury coal mining town in  matewan   1987  or a contemporary texasmexico bordertown in  lone star   1996   sayles is not a particularly inventive director  he likes to let his actors do most of the work  but he and cinematographer slavomir idziak   gattaca   successfully evoke both the beauty and the danger of the central american terrain  sayles also maintains a strong sense of authenticity by filming everything on location in mexico  using all latin american actors  and having all the dialogue spoken in either spanish or native indian dialects  the one exception is a couple of bumbling american tourists who work not only as comic relief  but as evidence of just how clueless the united states is about what is going on a few hundred miles south of the texas border  it would not be a stretch to say that  men with guns  is a depressing film  in fact  the two feelings it evokes most are hopelessness and failure  in addition to loss  the main characters are also failures at something  whether that be dr  fuentes failure to change anything through medicine  or padre portillos inability to stand up and be the martyr he always dreamed of being  nevertheless  it is bleak material sayles has chosen  and he deals with it accordingly  the last shot of the film does offer a hint of hope  even in a world where  as one character puts it   nobody refuses the men with guns   
pos	plot  during a 10week span in london in the fall of 1888  jack the ripper  a man whose identity was never uncovered  committed five ritualistic  grisly murders of prostitutes  this film is based on the graphic novel which assembled a theory behind the centuryold mystery  critique  awesome  i love dark movies  i love stylish movies  i love good mysteries and i love johnny depp    so yes  i really dug this movie  the hughes brothers are back with a vengeance  out to show the world that they are directors to be taken seriously  and this movie  my friends    is very serious  in fact  its also very gruesome and bloody and morbid and creepy and black as hell  it aint for the kids  ill tell you that much  and if any of those recent hack directors of twobit screamesque slasher flicks want some advice on effective  kill scenes   do not look any further  because each one committed to this film is a cinematic stunner  especially when compared to their generic sliceanddice contrivances  in fact  most of this films structure is very creative  the actors  all solid  the atmosphere and  feel  of the picture  remarkably real  gotta love those  unfortunates    and the descent into darkness  well honed by the filmmakers  you can almost taste the seediness off the screen and quickly come to appreciate the politics of the time  but its also an impressive mystery film  based on the truelife tale of jack the ripper  a man whose identity was never discovered  the theory in this film is based on the graphic novel  from hell  written by alan moore and presents a compelling story  which despite being a little oliver stoneish  did manage to tie up all of its loose ends quite nicely  and present us with an entertaining bowl of mayhem  sexual depravity  drug usage  insanity  murders and love  yes  the brothers even managed to slip a little  love  story in here  and despite not truly being developed  i guess it couldve been much worse and taken up more time than was provided already  thats right  theres no real need to put any  romance  in a film about a mass murderer  but that aside  you gotta give up the props to actor extraordinaire johnny depp  who once again possesses the strength in character and flawless acting abilities  to center this movie all the way through  sure  hes just playing a less goofier version of his ichabod crane character from sleepy hollow  but he does it so well and even added a michael caine accent to his mixed bag of tricks in this one  i was also surprised at how little heather graham annoyed me in this film  i was sure that her presence would ruin this movie  but she was fine  and how little the dreamsfantasies of depps character had to do with the films development  from what i had seen in the trailer  i thought the filmmakers were going to make this the crux of the story  but thankfully  it wasnt   on the downside  the film doesnt really explain the whole freemasons cult organization real well and lacks character development  but then again  a story about the most mysterious serial killer of alltime is probably not the ideal spot for character refinement  i mean  the less i knew about each person  the more suspicious i became of each ones motives  reasons  etc    in fact  i was actually quite surprised by who was presented as the killer in the end  and that was in part  due to the distance to which id been held from the films characters    or am i giving the filmmakers too much credit for something that might not have been their intention  perhaps  overall  this is an extremely creepy production  with glorious cinematography  reminiscent of coppolas dracula and burtons sleepy hollow   a grim score and solid acting  but its not for everyone  some may be utterly repulsed by the gory particulars of these tragic events  and even though the murders arent shown as graphically as you might think  theres enough here to send the squeamish right out the doors  but i for one love movies that blend their eclectic visual style with an interesting mystery and palpable  gothic atmosphere  and this flick is just that and plenty more  and god knows that i will certainly not be surrendering the burnt image of jack the rippers haunting cape silhouette and gleaming silver knife from my mind anytime soon    brrrrr  wheres joblo coming from  the crow  910   dark city  910   dracula  710   jfk  910   the nightmare before christmas  1010   the ninth gate  810   the others  910   quills  810   shadow of the vampire  610   sleepy hollow  810  
pos	in enemy at the gates  jude law is a gifted russian sniper made hero by a political officer named danilov  joseph fiennes  who uses him in a propaganda newspaper to raise the hopes of the soldiers and people of stalingrad  its world war ii  and the russiangerman standoff in town could determine the outcome of things for the motherland  laws vassili is the russians top pawn to victory  lots of war stuff happens  an older  german version of judes character played by ed harris shows up halfway into the proceedings  hes equally talented  and the two men play a cat and mouse game trying to kill each other  they constantly switch roles  as the war fades far into the background  the cast also includes the terrific rachel weisz as a love interest for both vassili and danilov the setup is decent  and so are the production values  boasting a wide range of grimy locales  greasy hair  and tattered costumes  the art direction prospers  the actors  however  suffer the problem matt damon had in saving private ryan  either their eyes  teeth  skin  or a combination of other features looked too white and clean  with dirt and blood all around  the blinding teeth or bright eyes of these actors divert attention from the action  that said  the players are mostly good in their roles  although i dont think ed harris was really trying  maybe he realized his role struck a difficult chord in onenotedom  while the film is technically about snipers  there are far too many predictable sniping scenes  director jeanjacques annaud expects us to view each tense situation with jude and some cohort in a tight spot as edgy and exciting  but after about the sixth time  in which we realize that jude is not going to die  its relatively pointless  we get that hes talented  okay  lets move on  thats the problem with enemy at the gates  it just doesnt know when to stop  witness the wasted seventeen minutes that could have been spent elsewhere  reestablishing his title as the most beautiful  and often talented  man on film  jude law carries the movie  without him  this costly production would have gone into the ground  the story and acting are of good quality  but theres never a sense of authenticity or reality  something about this war movie is undeniably modern  and it loses its feeling  strange enough  the screenplay is based on the true story of a real russian sniper  
pos	its been a good long while since we had a good old fashioned thriller  where mostly everything goes right for the audience and wrong for the characters  but its been even longer since i saw a thriller that actually  shock  cared for the characters  not merely judged them but actually allowed their human foibles  flaws  and strengths to emerge so radiantly  id saw that its been at least a couple decades  even as far back to the great hitchcock thrillers  though im hardly comparing  a simple plan  to  say   rear window  or  strangers on a train   yet its almost as good  its simple  yet strangely complex  and astonishingly rewarding  because instead of moving from plot point to plot point  and merely laying out theymightbecaught overtones  it instead concerns itself with the moral corruption and depths of greed that its protagonists can go to  all without ever judging them as either evil or even immoral  elegantly directed by sam raimi  yes  the same    a simple plan  concerns itself with the discovery of a crashed plane and within a bag full of millions of dollars by an upright  moderately financially stable working man  bill paxton   his dimwitted brother  billy bob thornton   and his drinking buddy  brent briscoe   without anyone around  and the possibility that no one would come looking for it  the three debate and debate but finally reach the decision that yes  they will keep it  but until any authorities or possible owners of the cash come looking  and so they generally dont flaunt anything they dont want to flaunt  theyll keep it stored away in the custody of paxton  the possibilites of this circumstance are much diverse  a  they could endlessly play cat and mouse with the authorities  b  they could try to fight off the rightful owners  who are either villainous or just  or c  they could fight amongst themselves   a simple plan   though borrows a little from each of these  a little tiff with the cops here  a subplot involving an alleged fbi agent  a chilling gary cole  there   and a bit of inside feuding over here  but  as austin powers would say  thats not necessarily its bag  baby   what i most admired about this film  and what makes this a far superior and unique thriller is that its successfully able to have its cake and eat it too  it effectively involves some of the traditional thriller cliches  like the ones mentioned above  but at the same time  it involves itself more deeply with the way the characters become morally corrupt and what price they have to pay to have what they think is happiness in a black duffle bag  so while steps are taken to neatly cover things up  and these subsequent steps go miserably awry  the film choses to never loose the sight that in covering things up to the extent that these characters have to  they are slowly losing their souls and their humanity  in one early scene  paxton and thornton have to make a trip back to the plane to return some of the money so it doesnt look like it was all stolen  not a bad idea   when thornton screws up  as he does continuously throughout the movie   and paxton has to do some major coveringup  read  homicide   instead of a quick murder and immeadiate handswashing  raimi shows a lengthy  painful shot from a lowangle onto paxtons face as he tries to sift through his emotions and reach a conclusion  theres a similar shot afterwards of paxton watching the murder hes committing and taking in all the horror which is also wonderfully effective  but the previous shot is even better  more morally complex and more gutwrenching  in short  probably the best piece of direction raimis ever done  demonstrating once again that sometimes the simplest way to do something yields the best results  for further proof  watch  persona  s  sex scene  and witness what may be the best scene ingmar bergmans ever done   but the film hardly stops here  it follows completely through and rarely loses sight of its characters humanity and the depletion thereof  yet it also moves from step to step in such a graceful method that we never feel like the film is merely stamping out the plot points of the story  when the time comes for paxton to start becoming selfish and thus diabolical  with aid from his pregnant wife  played by bridget fonda  a pal to raimi   he does  and soon the horror of the situation is escalating to tragic heights  theres at least two grand shootouts  and at least one of them may be one of the greatest shootouts in cinema history  and when they arrive  they dont come with masochistic delight but with cringeinducing horror  during the one  i was actually sinking into my chair  with the mantra  they cant do this  can they   streeming through my head  in fact  this film  which is getting many comparisons to the coens superior  but forget about it  fargo   has many similar moments of manic insanity  attributed to the major amount of subtlety and restraint with which the directors direct what  in other hands  would be overthetop distractedness  imagine  i suppose  robert rodriguez directing this    then again  after seeing the  evil dead  films  id hardly assume raimi would be able to pull something like this off  although there are moments of the film which are easily dubbed  raimi  moments  a rifleshot notwithstanding   instead  raimi directs with maturity and a gentle touch  easily letting the story and characters coexist  while still letting some of the more traditional raimi elements come out  like some offbeat comic touches  most particularly  billy bob thorntons character  jacob  is a brilliant creation  his dimwittedness is often hilarious  for most of the film  every line he uttered was greeted with howling laughter   but theres authenticity to the performance that strangely enough makes sure that were not totally laughing at him  the chuckles he gets are not necessarily ones of fullcondescension because thornton is so damn real  jacobs a multidimensional character  and while being stupid  we see that as not so much a flaw  but a strength to his character  his simplicity is endearing and many of the acts he commits are out of a strong inner strength and belief system  primarily towards the middle where his bud and coconspirator begins to make some heavy waves concerning the money  the final third of the film spends much time with him  and many of the touches upon his character  not only by thornton but also by screenwriter scott b  smith  adapting his own book  by the way  are just great  i particularly admired a back story about an old high school girlfriend  told by thornton with such sincerity and acception that the cruel story is reversed to nearsweetness and further strength of his saddened character  thornton is absolutely brilliant in this performance  by far the best performance hes ever given and further proof that hes the best character actor in contemporary cinema  if you dont believe me  go back and watch his wonderful performance in  primary colors   a performance that would have been nominated for an oscar if this hadnt been in the same year  because hes easily able to slip into a character  and make him completely and utterly believable  he brings so much weight to the film that  as it is with most character actors  its difficult picturing anyone else in the role  the rest of the cast is great too  from paxtons declining working man to chelcie ross amiable town sheriff  even fonda shows off her talents nicely  and if i had any complaints about the film  its that the plot is almost too simplistic  and that at times  it seems too much like an exercise  like a cruel test on humanity that still pays attention to the humanity involved  and the occasional narration is  as it usually is  annoying  narration should be used with extreme caution  especially when youre trying to set things up andor express emotions  didnt raimi watch the first murder scene    and  the thing that can most usually go wrong with a movie  the ending is basically amiss  i wont reveal it  but its way too cruel and too much of an outsider setup  as if the appearance of a plane wasnt already too much of that anyway  for a film that deals so much and so intimately with the humanity of the characters involved  this is the wrong ending  imagine a charactercontrolled ending  otherwise  its like if in  crime and punishment  if the police had caught him instead of him breaking down and confessing    not that im at all comparing  a simple plan  to dostoevsky  the ending does work  despite my protestations  but to me  there was something incessantly nagging and unsatisfying about it  but if you had no qualms and were happy as a clam with it  then just ignore me and go about your day  but despite my mere claims  make no mistake that i was completely and utterly edge of my seat throughout  and even sometimes curdling up by the situations that occured  not because of any kind of gore factor  which is  thankfully for this  very minimal   but because the film places its characters in situations and gives them such painful things to overcome that ive frankly not seen much like it in quite awhile  at least not since the previous worthy hitchcockian masterpiece  
pos	some of my friends who went to live in usa complain about one thing  that country is very different from the one depicted in hollywood movies  that is especially true for those who end up somewhere in that unexplored land between los angeles and new york where they find  to their big surprise  that the majority of people vote republican  go to church every sunday and usually dont tolerate liberal attitudes that are taken for granted in an average american film  such rude awakening  however  can happen in another direction  conservative people are sometimes forced to discover unpleasant truths about world they live in  something like that happens to jake van dorn  george c  scott   successful grand rapids businessman who shares strong calvinist convictions with the rest of his community  one day his daughter kristen  ilah davis  disappears from calvinist youth convention in california  van dorn is worried because he doesnt believe that his daughter would run from home  however  the truth delivered by private investigator andy mast  peter boyle  is even harder  kristen is spotted in cheap pornographic film  infuriated van dorn is unsatisfied with the way masts investigation is going  so he goes to los angeles to search for kristen himself  unfortunately  he lacks experience and the quest  that brought him to the utter depths of sex underworld  is fruitless  things change when he devises cunning plan and  while doing it  stumbles on sympathetic prostitute and part time porno actress nicky  season hubley   almost two decades after its release  hardcore is mostly forgotten by critics and film scholars  it is a real shame  because very few movies in todays hollywood would dare tackle controversial issues that writer and director paul schrader explored in his second directorial attempt  in late 1970s  it was totally different situation  films were expected to have mature  serious themes for the mature audience  for schrader this film was nice opportunity to expand the subplot of his previous work  taxi driver  one that deals with the great generational divide that tormented the american society in 1970s  on one side we have an old america that sticks to the puritan ideals of hard work and strict morals that made that country great  but that america is obviously unable to cope with the new challenges brought by the social turmoil in 1960s and  instead of facing them  prefers to live in rural  conservative cocoons  the new america  on the other hand  fares no better  ideals of the socalled  sexual revolution   same as all other  revolutions  of the swinging sixties  degraded into exploitation and depravity  instead of being  liberated   baby boomers are stuck with their own inability to cope with the newly discovered freedoms  schrader very cleverly brings the idea that those two americas  actually  arent so far away  nice example is a brilliant scene in which van dorn  already described as an authoritarian and paternalistic capitalist  meets sleazy porno producer  the latter one also turns out to be authoritarian  paternalistic and very dedicated to this job  the difference between the two is simply in the line of work  many contemporary critics actually accused schrader of promoting conservative agenda  on the surface  it may look that way  audience is forced to sympathise with van dorn and his quest  in the first scenes  he is portrayed as nice family man who actually doesnt deserve to experience parents worst nightmare  the scene in the porno cinema that reveals kristens fate is extremely cruel  pain and humiliation  brought by oscarwinning actor george c  scott  is of such intensity  that the audience feels sorry for him and simply must support his agenda  van dorn is perhaps flawed  and the subtle hints lead to the unflattering truth at the end  but the viewers simply know that his cause is just  and that prodigal daughter must be better off with her loving father than with the sleazy pornographers that only want to exploit her body  on the other hand  schrader  who grew up in an environment very much like van dorns  his own parents wouldnt allow him to watch movies until he was 18   knows better and tries to bring another side of coin  even the people connected with sex underworld can show redeeming qualities  like nicky  who actually tries to improve her life  and sleazy detective who develops something like a conscience at the end  unfortunately  schrader fails to erase the impact of the shocking scene at the beginning  and his attempt to reconcile the opposing sides of america seems lost in somewhat clich  d finale  the script is slightly flawed  and schrader as director doesnt show too much originality  his style seems too influenced by techniques that scorsese used in taxi driver  apart from the scenes in grand rapids  those two films even look alike  but the content might be more than interesting for todays viewer  especially those inspired by the current 70s revival  until boogie nights  no hollywood mainstream movie ever dared to explore the phenomenon of pornography in 1970s  hardcore  on the other hand  might serve as precious document  because it depicts sex film industry in the period often regarded as the golden age by connoisseurs  before the advent of video  when many of the porno filmmakers could afford to think of themselves as artists  the view of such age and the industry is very unflattering  though  but for the film whose main character takes time to explain calvinist doctrines to the audience  that shouldnt be too surprising  anyway  despite some flaws  hardcore remains very interesting and powerful piece of cinema  
pos	vampire lore and legend has always been a popular fantasy element  substantiated by not only the sheer number of movies about the subject  but also the proliferation of cults and sects of adherents  and  unlike any of the more outlandish myths  the vampire holds some realworld probability  one study claims 1  000 bloodsuckers exist worldwide  and places 50 in los angeles   but lest the nasties be mistaken for simple comic book bad guys  john carpenter would like to remind us that they are  and always have been  a truly frightening element of the thriller genre  and remind us he does in his latest film  vampires  there was some question  as halloween weekend approached  of how well vampires would do in comparison to new line cinemas immensely successful blade  released in august  the two films take noticeably different stands on the vampire issue  and dont even agree on some basic points of the slaying method   for instance  blades main weapons are silver and garlic  whereas main character jack crows technique is a wooden stake to the heart   blade also gives more of a face to the vampire civilization  while carpenter would like us to remain in the dark about how the pasties operate  both have their advantages  and here  carpenters style lends itself to a darker breed of suspense rather than the action movie that blade director stephen norrington delievered  when its all said and done  though  the vampires still kill and die with a bloody flourish  the level for gore is indeed set to maximum  this time  our hero is vaticansponsored slayer jack crow  james woods   hes a cynical  battleworn veteran  and the best of his bunch  he and his team are responsible for cleaning out the american southwest  and after exterminating a nest one night  they run up against a supervampire  termed a  master   named valek  thomas ian griffith   valek kills all of jacks team except for his partner  tony montoya  daniel baldwin   and as the two regroup  they learn that valek is the original vampire  now over six hundred years old  apparently  valek and his minions have been sweeping the southwest for decades in search of a cross that will enable them to walk in the daytime  so with the aid of a priest named adam  tim guinee  and a bitten hooker  sheryl lee  as bait  they track valek down for the final confrontation  the script for vampires  written by don jakoby and based on the john steakley novel  is perhaps the wittiest piece of screenplay to see production all year  crow  in particular  is a fun source of oneliners  and woods does every one of them with perfect stoicism  baldwin  lee  and guinee are all fine supports  adding to the character pool  but the other true highlight of the movie is thomas ian griffiths bad guy  griffiths intense expression is perfect for the role  and the only downside is that hes got to talk sometime  luckily  hes got few lines  and manages to pull off a rather thrilling performance  all said  fans will surely be impressed by this picture  and those who found apt pupil a bit limp will be excited by this one  certainly a worthwhile visit to the theaters  
pos	if the current trends of hollywood filmmaking continue  we are probably five or six years away from the moment when the 1980s would become the next golden age of movie nostalgia  although some hollywood products already use the last decade as a background for their stories  mostly in ironic way  like grosse pointe blank and romy  michelles high school reunion   some time should pass before the good memories of that era overcome the bad ones  until that happens  1980s would be remembered as the decade of greed  when the revolutionary ideals of 1960s turned into its cruel  materialistic opposite and the money became the only thing that matters  contemporary movies are good in illustrating what was bad for the people who had to live in those times  one of such movies  one that probably brings the essence of 1980s to the screen  is william friedkins to live and die in l  a  the money isnt just the symbolic motive in the film  it is the major elements of the plot  rick masters  willem dafoe  is an exconvict who used his artistic abilities in order to become one of the best counterfeiters in l  a  being too intelligent to fall into police traps  and ruthless enough to eliminate anybody or anything that could jeopardise his career  masters managed to elude law for years and became well connected  richard chance  william l  petersen  is a secret service agent  adrenaline junkie whose life gets new meaning after his partner got killed by masters  however  his plans of bringing the counterfeiter down meet one obstacle after another  finally he sets up a final sting  but his superiors deny him the necessary money  being frustrated  and against the reluctance of his new partner john vukovich  bill pankow   he decides to get the money by robbing underworld courier  their plan backfires with almost tragic consequences when their target turns out to be undercover fbi agent  but chance decides to carry out his scheme anyway  like french connection  one of his previous masterpieces  this friedkins movie was inspired by real life  gerrald petievich  author of the novel that later served as basis for his screenplay  spent many years working as a secret service agent  that turned to be useful for the portrayal of that law enforcement agency  not much utilised by hollywood  secret service millieu was also cleverly used in order to bring the viewer into the decade of greed  the beginning scene where the movies hero works as a part of presidential security detail is a nice opportunity to hear reagans speech that could illustrate the political and economical notions of those times  ultramaterialistic and egotistical view of the world is shared by almost any character in the movie  willem dafoe brilliantly portrays dangerous and intelligent psychopath  whose ruthlessness and lack of any moral fibber doesnt seem like affliction in the reagan years  on the contrary  those qualities actually makes masters socially acceptable  compared with him  and all the other side characters that want their  piece of the action   two heroes on the side of law seem like losers  instead of being a classical good guy  secret service agent richard chance  portrayed by william petersen in his most impressive role so far  is nothing more than a lunatic whose adrenaline addiction and madness work against his better judgement  his sidekick  who should serve as those  better judgement  is a weakling and sentimental fool that gets suckered in the end  in such surroundings of moral decay  the not so happy  yet surprising ending doesnt seem out of line  although the very last shot leaves too much questions unanswered   the dark atmosphere of l  a   city of glamour and moral decay  is nicely captured by william friedkins directing skills  the tight and realistic scripts with memorable characters  portrayed by such capable actors like john turturro  dean stockwell  debra feuer  darlanne fleugel and steve james  gave opportunity for friedkin to use another gimmick that made him famous in his 1971 masterpiece  great car chase  that scene alone  with lot of realism  thrills and surprise twists  is worth seeing the rest of the film  the soundtrack  provided by now almost forgotten band  wang chung   is also one of the more memorable of that decade  in every case  to live and die in l  a  is one of the rare movies in which hollywood actually tries to tell some unflattering truths about the world and succeeds in it  
pos	jeanluc picard  patrick stewart  and the rest of the crew of the u  s  s  enterprise are back for their third outing in the ninth film based on the 1960s series  star trek  gone are kirk  spock and mccoy and in their wake in the very able and very talented cast from star trek  the next generation  as usual  a crisis is brewing and it is up to the crew of the enterprise to make the galaxy safe again  this time out the united federation of planets and an alien race led by f  murray abraham are trying to move some colonists off a planet against the colonists will  it turns out that this planet is the fountain of youth and the federation and their alien buddies feel that is should be used for the good of everyone and not just a few hundred colonists  of course picard feels that this sort of treachery is wrong  so he disobeys direct orders and vows to help protect the colonists  insurrection is a lighter movie than the last two star trek films  the film focuses on the lofty question of whether the rights of society as a whole outweighs the rights of a small group  in this respect it gets back to the roots of star trek by disguising social commentary as science fiction  it doesnt do a bad job  other than it tries to inject too much humor into the story line  many of the jokes are your typical inside star trekfanonly jokes  while many of the others just fall flat  the other criticism that i had with the story was that it ignores common sense  there are only a few hundred people on this whole planet  why do they have to be moved  the explanation is that the planet has to be bombarded with deadly radiation so that this fountain of youth effect will be strong enough to help heal f  murray abrahams aliens who number only a couple of dozen  so the basic story line is bad enough in that we have a few hundred being booted out for a few billion  at least thats plausible  but in reality we have a few hundred being moved for the benefits of a few dozen  which makes no sense whatsoever  the other little hiccup in logic is the inclusion of worf  michael dorn   the trusty klingon  worf was on star trek  the next generation  so they want to include him in the films  no problem so far  worf is now a character of star trek  deep space nine  so the writers have to find a way to have him show up  in the last star trek movie  first contact  the included worf in a credible fashion  in this one  the writers are so lazy that the completely gloss over why he is even in the movie  what little explanation they do give is so small that you would have missed it if you werent hanging on every word on the screen  my minor problems with the movie aside  star trek  insurrection does have an overwhelming number of good points as compared to its bad ones  while many of the jokes do miss the mark  many are pretty good  even for nontrekkies  the special effects are among the best for the star trek series  the action is plentiful and well done  this is a very goodlooking movie  it should come as no surprise to anyone who ever watched star trek  the next generation that the acting is first rate  it is very obvious that these actors have been working together for over a decade  they interact with each other with a skill that few other ensemble casts can muster  most star trek fans probably will not be disappointed with this latest film in the series  if youve always hated star trek  there is nothing here that is going to change your mind  star trek  insurrection is not the best film in the series  but it is good enough to dispel the long standing tradition of the odd numbered films in the series being far inferior to the even numbered ones  
pos	the promotion for fear and loathing in las vegas  has made the film out to be a comedy  and for about the first hour or so it seems like it might be one  its 1971  and the hippie movement has left behind quite a few washouts  among them journalist raoul duke  johnny depp  and his  attorney  dr  gonzo  benito del toro   these two spend most of the film in a druginduced stupor  having strange hallucinations  trashing their hotel rooms  and either annoying or scaring almost everyone that crosses their path  duke is first assigned to cover an outdoor desert motorcycle race in las vegas  but gets lost in a blur of drugs  beer  and flying dust  and ends up wandering around with no clue who won  he leaves vegas briefly before he is sent back  in what can only be described as a strangely appropriate twist of fate  to cover a drug enforcement conference  fear and loathing has been misinterpreted by some as glorifying the use of drugs  it doesnt  even in the beginningwhile the pairs antics are sometimes amusing and relatively harmless at first  the humor here is still fairly dark  director terry gilliam views them with a rather satirical eye  and even when were laughing  were laughing at them rather than with them  they spend most of their time paranoid  angry  or just plain befuddled  which is probably an understandable reaction to seeing the entire room suddenly fill up with giant reptiles  the black comedy may be entertaining to watch onscreen  but its probably not something most other audience members would want to experience firsthand  all this aside  i was starting to grow a bit restless as the film drew near its onehour mark  thinking to myself that i wanted something more out of this than just an offkilter satire of drug culture  thankfully  the script delivers it before too long  as duke  in a rare moment of lucidity  stops to recall how he was once an enthusiastic hippie   riding the wave  of something that seemed special and important  now its six years later and the wave has finally broken  as he puts it  materialistic culture is still alive and well and  for most of this film  right in his face in las vegas  the  american dream  of which duke occasionally speaks is still just as shallow and phony as ever  the social protesters have lost  and the more questionable aspects of the movement have turned ugly and left casualties such as duke to drift in a sea of drugs and disillusionment  in many ways  fear and loathing is gilliams most realitybased film  all of his others  with the exception of the fisher king  have made use of some sort of fantasy or sciencefiction plot elements  yet it is his offthewall masterpiece brazil  to which this film bears the most visual resemblance  the protagonist of brazil found himself alternately surrounded by a plastic  soulless society and the constant chaos of totalitarian police inspections and terrorist attacks  and similarly dukes world is composed of the artificial  empty glam of las vegas and the bizarre anarchy of his drug hallucinations  unlike the protagonist of brazil  however  duke is not a particularly admirable figure  and neither is gonzo  during the latter half of the film  their trips turn nastier and the consequences worse  eventually building up to an incident an a diner in which gonzo crudely frightens and humiliates a waitress  while duke  though he doesnt seem to approve  doesnt do anything to stop it either  by the time this scene takes place  they dont seem like hippies or peaceniks or protesters or anything of the sort any more  they just seem like a couple of stoned jerks in a diner  duke seems to realize at some level that hes become something he doesnt like  but hes either too apathetic or too defeated to do anything to change  this film has taken a critical drubbing from many who view it as an essentially pointless film that simply throws one trip scene after another at the audience  while gilliam may have overdone it in a few places  i think he and his cowriters deserve more credit than that  theres plenty of substance here  particularly in the second half  its observations about the broken and defeated rebels from the 60s and the objects of their rebellion just arent usually very pleasant  unlike  say  brazil  or the fisher king  both of which feature a character who dares to let himself dream in a repressive environment  fear and loathing in las vegas  shows us someone whos given up on his dreams and resorts to the quick fix of drugs  in its own psychedelic  whackedout way  its sad and regretful  but i think its also a bit of a kick in the pants  a challenge to find an alternative between chemicallyinduced withdrawal and the equally addictive drug of vegasstyle materialism  indeed  duke himself admits at one point that hes never learned to accept that you can get higher without drugs than with them  im not sure if hes any closer to accepting it by the end or not  but i suspect the audience will get the idea  
pos	james cmaerons breakthrough feature was the first of his films to showcase his obsession with technology and more specfically technology run amok  for those of you who do not know the plot  in 2029 machines have engineered a nuclear for the expressed purpose of wiping out the human race  human survivors are systematically hunted down and destroyed  however  some humans are fighting back led by the heroic john connor  to stop connor  the machines send a terminator  arnold schwarzenegger  back to 1984 to murder connors mother  sara  linda hamilton   and thus prevent connor from ever being born  in response  the humans send a protector  kyle reese  played by michael biehn  images of machines and of humans reliance on machines dominate the film  even though the characters know that the benign oil drillers of 1984 will become the ruthless hunter killers of 2029  humans continue to use the machines  in the climax of star wars  luke relies on the force alonehis own spiritual powerto destroy the death star  in the terminator  however  sara must use another machinea giant hydraulic pressto vanquish her enemy  cameron seems to be implying that this reliance on technology is inescapableand hes not happy about it  unabated technological growth brings about the terminators other obsession  the apocalypse  we have plenty of imagery regarding armageddon  thousands of human skulls line the streets of future la  children watch the flames in a burning television  when the terminator arrives in 1984 an almost biblical lightning storm precedes him  even though the  future is not set   there is no doubt about where the world is headed at the end of the movie  the machines will rise and the humans will have to struggle for their very existence  all sara can do is await it   cameron doesnt wimp out like he does in terminator 2  the end of the world is the human races own fault  too  after all it is the humans that created in the evil machines in the first place  back in 1984  when the cold war was still in full effect  the film must have been seen as a very apt metaphor for nuclear war  another obsession of camerons   these days  one can read a criticism of machinelike behavior in humans  true  humanizing touches are put into paul winfields and lance henriksens detective characters  but the terminator is also able to move through the city undetected  cameron also draw parallels between the mechanical efficiency between the terminator and reese when they first arrive in 1984 la  from a technical standpoint the terminator is very well done  arnold schwarzenegger is a perfect antagonistunstoppable  merciless  obdurate  we are not meant to empathize with this ultimate killing machine as we are in some of schwarzeneggers later works  eg  commando   but fear him  cameron and hurds script basically depicts a one hour and fortyfive minute chase  taking a few moments here and there to explain time travel and develop the romantic subplot  while we do see the hackneyed dialogue cameron is now so well known for  there is also considerable suspense especially for the first time viewer who may be unsure of kyle reeses intentions  cameron directs the film at a rapid  kinetic pace  either the camera is moving or something within the frame is movingusually both occurs  the violence is not particularly graphic  temple of dooms heartpull scene outgrosses the terminators   but it is brutally staged making it that much more effective  for a low budget film  the terminators special effects and art direction  especially in 2029 la  are remarkably well done  special mention should be made of the stop motion effects work at the end of the film depicting the terminator endoskeleton  it is some of the best stop motion i have ever seen  one thing that doesnt hold up after all the years  however  is linda hamiltons hairdo  
pos	it might surprise some to know that joel and ethan coen  who have brought such unabated lunacy to our movie screens as  raising arizona  and  the hudsucker proxy   made their feature film debut with  blood simple   a grim and often gruesome tale of revenge  murder  and literally fatal misconceptions in rural texas  it bears some resemblance  storywise  to the coens recent  fargo   but even the darkly satirical humor and the enjoyably quirky characterizations that characterized that film are scarce here   blood simple  is pretty much cold and brutal from beginning to end  the premise of  blood simple  is really just a slight variation on the standard lovetrianglerevenge scheme  sleazy bar owner julian marty  dan hedaya  hires a shifty private detective  m  emmet walsh  to kill his wife abby  frances mcdormand  and her illicit lover ray  john getz   things start to go haywire when walsh decides instead to fake the murder with photographic trickery but  upon collecting the money  becomes uncertain as to whether or not marty is capable of keeping his mouth shut about the scheme  to reveal any more details of the story would be to give away too much  but what ensues is a series of bloody  and i do mean bloody  confrontations  each triggered by one or more characters misunderstanding what is actually happening  every act of violence or deception in this film makes sense when seen through the perpetrators eyes  but we  the audience  are made privy to the  big picture  and thus can recognize that each misdeed is somehow either unnecessary or directed at the wrong person  this aspect of the story  along with the intense atmosphere of repulsion and brutality  one gets the sense that if guns and  in one case  shovels  were not available  some of these characters would claw each other to death  are the most effective components of the film  the coens might have done well to title the film  fear and loathing in texas   some have labeled  blood simple as a modernday noir  but  while i am not an expert on either genre  it seems more like a horror movie than anything else  the coens seem much more interested in the plot twists and the atmosphere of confusion and paranoia than they do in the characters  and the final sequence is nothing more than a showdown between the one  relatively  innocent character and the only one of the murderers left alive  that said   blood simple  is a very good horror movie  the fear and suspense here are genuine  the coens also add plenty of quirky touches that nudge the weirdness meter upwards  such as when a character enters an empty room and accidentally steps on a gun  discharging it as it skitters across the floor  or when a murder attempt unfolds in a way such that abby mistakes her attacker for another character who has in fact been killed earlier in the film  that said   blood simple  is not exactly flawless  for one thing  the motivations for the killings are still a little thin at times  i can understand that the characters had tracks to cover  or at least thought they did   but i found it a little hard to accept that all of them would so quickly resort to murder  and although they at least didn  t have anyone get hacked to death with a knife  the coens also arent quite immune to horror cliches  they indulge in a prolonged deadguyseemstohavecomebacktolifebutthenwefindoutitsonlyadream scene that had me rolling my eyes  the film also ends so quickly after the final confrontation that i found myself wondering if they had simply run out of film   blood simple  is not quite the masterpiece of neonoir that many seem to think it is  but its a decent movie and it showcases the coens ability to handle suspense and violence in a visceral but nonexploitative manner  i would firmly recommend it to all  coenheads  as well as anyone looking for something original in a thriller  
pos	kirk douglas is one of those rare american actors who can say more with a simple glance than most can say with pages of dialogue  all he has to do is look at someone with a raised eyebrow  and you instantly know what hes thinking   detective story  features one of kirk douglass finest performances  he stars as a new york detective that has his whole world fall apart in one night  the film is based on a play  and this is quite evident  as most of the movie takes place in the oneroom flat that the detectives work in  the film opens with the douglas character getting ready to go home to his wife  but through a series of events  he never quite makes it there  the bulk of the movie follows the case of a man named schneider  a surgeon who routinely performs abortions with a high fatality rate  however  this schneider character has a connection in the past of douglass wife  a connection douglas himself is not aware of  many secrets are revealed in the last half hour of this film  secrets i would not dream of giving away  with a name like  detective story   one would assume the film would resemble an episode of  nypd blue   but it doesnt quite work out that way  however  we do see douglas at work on a few other cases throughout the running time  lee grant  virtually unrecognizable  plays a meek jewish woman arrested for shoplifting  her scenes with bendix  another detective  provide the movie with a few laughs  the performances all around are fantastic  douglas may be the leader of this ensemble  but hes not the center of attention all the time  we get to catch a glimpse into other cases and other detectives working on those cases  which brings me back to douglas  he has a really emotional scene towards the end of the picture that really makes you feel for him  we can see that this is a man who has spent his whole life trying to eliminate crime  but has finally realized that what hes really done is gotten back at his criminal father  how he handles coming to terms with this is something really worth seeing  kirk douglas is the kind of actor we dont seem to see to much of these days  hes a tough guy  but the human elements are never hidden too deeply underneath that gruff exterior  
pos	 a man is not a man without eight taels of gold   starring sammo hung  sylvia chang  directed by mabel cheung  written by cheung and alex law  cinematography by bill wong eight taels of gold begins as a fish out of water story and at some point becomes a love story involving two people whose past choices prevent the fruition of their love  neither aspect of the movie is entirely successful  but both are good enough  and along the way there is one perfect scene  which is one more than you find in most films  slim  played by portly sammo hung  better known as a star and director of hong kong action movies  is a chinese immigrant who drives a yellow cab in new york  when the movie opens  we see him shouting obscenities at another taxi driver  he does not seem particularly out of place  in fact  he is about to return to visit his home in rural china for the first time in sixteen years  spending most of his life savings in the process  and it is there that he will become the proverbial fish out of water  as he realizes that you can never go home  he brings with him some statue of liberty cigarette lighters  cheap sunglasses  and lobsters  which have to be large  to prove theyre american  the tokens of his success  he also wears a gold chain and a gold watch  because without eight taels of gold  a man is not a man  my dictionary tells me that taels are a unit of weight used in the far east  and i assume the phrase is a chinese proverb   he loses most of this stuffexcept the goldwhen his van crashes into a river and he has to hitch a ride  so to speak  on a raft along the river which runs past his parents village  when he arrives unannounced  he almost induces cardiac arrest in his father  all of this has the makings of a routine comedy  and the movie has its amusing moments  as when the villagers take turns giving slim gifts during a celebration of his homecoming  and they all give him birds  so by evenings end he is surrounded by turkeys  ducks  geese and other sundry fowl  but eight taels is not a comedyit is a sad  sweet story about the choices people make  and how they are sometimes irreparable  director mabel cheung  an autumns tale  the soong sisters  sees clearly what it is like to have lived half of your life in one country and half in a country on the other side of the worldwhat it is like to no longer have a place to call home  slim does not belong in china  nor does he belong in america  where he can barely speak the language  seeing water buffalo in the fields and rafts poled down the river and fireworks exploding gloriously in the sky over a small village  we come to know the world slim left behind  and it seems as if he too is knowing it for the first time  and wishes it felt more like home  the condition of the expatriate is eloquently portrayed  i  being one  was sympathetic  on his way to his parents village  slim hooks up with jenny  sylvia chang   whom he knew when she was a girl nicknamed oddsandends  which is what he continues to call her  although she is now a mature  professional  attractive woman  to be married in the spring to an americanchinese man  slim and oddsandends fall for each other  thats predictable  the manner in which their  non  romance is played out is not  the emotions involved are adult and complex  and the film avoids cheap solutions to their dilemma  its typical  for instance  that the fianc  in this sort of plot be a colossal jerk  because it makes it easier to empathize with the unrequited lover  but here the fianc  is a decent  ordinary guy  and although slim would like to feel anger  he cannot  the fianc  has done nothing wrong  the situation is the result of bad luck or bad decisions  take your pick  eight taels has its share of flaws  the early sequences in america and on the plane to china are especially weak   but it compensates with insight  when oddsandends tells slim that her future husband wants to move to san francisco  she notes resignedly   its all the same  wherever we go  well be in chinatown   and her straightforward statement expresses much  there is insight  too  in the understanding of the consequences of slim and oddsandends decisions  he to move to america  she to marry a chineseamerican  both their choices were perhaps born of impatience  perhaps of a sense that the grass is always greenerand it turns out that both choices were wrong  but they cannot undo them  they must live with what they have done  such is life  the movie is tender toward these people  but it offers no false comforts  everything that is right and true about eight taels comes together in one great scene  which is the culmination of the love story  slim and oddsandends sit in a secluded spot and talk hesitantly  with the muted poppop of fireworks exploding in the night behind them  and it seems the conversation will lead to a kiss  the exchange that follows  and what slim then does  is poignant and perfect  with clarity and understatement  we see two peoples lives  their heartbreaks and virtues  summed up in a single moment  yes  the film is flawed  but moments like that justify most of its inadequacies  
pos	the summer movie season is always the biggest and brightest season for movies throughout the year  we are introduced to blockbuster hits that are usually trashed by critics  loved by the people  and make tons of money at the box office  this year  the tradition continues with an update on the universal 1932 classic  the mummy  i have always been a sucker for this kind of monster movies  and i always seem to be the only critic who really likes them  that tradition continues as well with this fun special effects extravaganza  in the mummy  the up and coming brendan fraser stars as the adventurous explorer rick oconnell  he teams up with a curious  clumsy librarian named evelyn  played by rachel weisz  to find the mysterious city of the dead  hamunaptra  evelyn loves egypt  and would truly like to visit the city that people call a fable  rick has claimed he has been to hamunaptra during a battle  and thats why she chose him to lead her there  also tagging along on the journey to the city of the dead is evelyns brother  jonathan  played by john hannah  sliding doors   now in hamunaptra  the three uncover  the book of the dead   the curious evelyn unlocks the book  reads from it  and now the body of the ancient egyptian imhotep  arnold vosloo  becomes alive and is out to kill the ones who opened and read from the book  along with imhotep arising from the dead  the ten curses of egypt become in full effect  launching unbelievable forces against the three and another group who set out to find hamunaptra  not only is imhotep furious with those who awoke him  he is also out to restore the life of his girlfriend that lost her life long ago in ancient egypt  dont expect huge things out of the mummy  but just expect to have a good time  this movie is extremely campy and plays out like an old horror film with beefed up special effects  which may turn off some viewers  on the other hand  this type of film is one of my favorites  but thats up to you to decide  there is one thing that definitely not campy or corny about the mummy though  the state of the art special effects take you into a completely different world  we are dazzled by faces rising out of the desert  swarms of beetles and locusts  and even creatures crawling under a humans skin  these may have been in other movies before  but not like in the mummy  as of now  the mummy holds the title for best special effects of this year  but all this could change when star wars episode 1  the phantom menace is released into theaters across the country  in the past  brendan fraser has played mainly comedic roles  when playing  george  in disneys george of the jungle  he was mainly not known by anyone  i would say that gods and monsters is the film that gave him a name  and now the mummy will give him a name amongst teens  in the mummy  fraser gets to play an action hero  and i liked him in this sort of role over the comedic role  as in the films blast from the past and george of the jungle  although brendan fraser is great  rachel weisz gives the best performance among the cast  weisz really reminded me of a character from an old  horror film  the way she acts  looked  and talked all reminded me of someone not from this time  evelyn is probably the only character that was likable  considering that the other characters  like john hannahs  didnt get much personal attention  in many films  when different genres are mixed  the mixing usually works  and i like it for the most part  in the mummy though  not all of the mixing works  there are some scenes that have a lot of potential horror  some with potential comedy  some with potential drama  and some with potential pure action  but the film tries to mix them together too often for the mixing to work  the mummy could have gotten an  a  rating from me if it had gone purely with one of these  i didnt mind the corny oneliners here and there during action sequences  but it certainly could have done without them  the cinematography is amazing in the mummy  particularly in one scene depicting ancient egypt  we are taken into a very fun portrayal of egypt  mummies  and the treasures left behind by the ancient egyptians  the costume design in the film is also up there with the great cinematography  from ancient egyptians outfits to original troops outfits  the costumes are always top notch  the bottom line with the mummy  the summer is off to its usually great start  
pos	jacques tatis 1953 classic  les vacances de m  hulot   also known as  mr  hulots vacation   in english  ought to be the textbook on how to do non  dialogue comedy in film  the characters hardly ever speak to each other directly  and the film operates on the paper  thin premise that monsieur hulot  played by tati himself  is awkward and clumsy and generally manages to annoy the other guests at the beach resort hotel where he is taking a weeks vacation  yet the film had me beside myself laughing more consistently than any in recent memory  part of the reason the film works so well is the clever setup for the various gags  slapstick has often been regarded as an unsophisticated and even crude form of comedy  but i think part of the reason for this is that it often seems forced  you can only see movie characters start running after something and then crash facefirst into a pole so many times before you start to wonder what all these poles are doing there in the first place or why these people dont watch where theyre going  in  les vacances de m  hulot   the gags build upon each other and often start out relatively lowkey  in one sequence  for example  hulot is painting the side of his small row boat on the beach when  while his back is turned  the paint can gets caught up in the oncoming waves  washes away  then comes back up on the other side of the boat  while crossing over to get the can  hulot steps in the boat and unknowingly cracks it  when he actually takes the boat out into the water  it breaks in half  but the two halves flip up against each other  trapping him inside as the bystanders mistake it for a shark fin and panic on the beach ensues  tati doesnt waste a single opportunity for humor  scenes that might have yielded one joke in most comedies are good for at least four or five in this film  it has been said that comedy relies on frustrating the audiences expectations  and  les vacances de m  hulot  succeeds brilliantly in that area as well  tati accomplishes this largely through a sort of deadpan understatement  when hulot goes into a separate room during dinner and starts playing a record at defeaningly loud volume  no fights or shouting matches ensue  instead  the waiter calmly walks in and shuts off the power in the room  disconnecting the record player and leaving a puzzled hulot sitting in the dark  tati also uses running gags to this effect  allowing them to keep running far longer than most comedy directors would  more often than not  we can see them coming and think   oh  hes not going to do that again   but  lo and behold  he does  for example  there is a recurring joke in which hulots noisy  sputtering car engine wakes everyone in the middle of the night as an exterior shot reveals the hotels lights coming on one by one  then this image turns up again in the finale  which i will not give away other than to say that involves a lot more noise in the middle of the night than a car engine could ever produce  the ending is one of two elements that really make this a fourstar film as opposed to merely an aboveaverage  clever comedy  as much as i was laughing during this film  i was thinking to myself occasionally that tati had to top himself at the end to really make this work as a complete viewing experience  suffice it to say that he did  the other important aspect is that the film never seems disdainful of its characters  it easily could have turned the tables on hulot and had the other guests exact some kind of revenge on him  alternatively  it could have portrayed the others as humorless curmudgeons  instead  tati seems to regard his characters with cheerful amusement more than anything else and invites the audience to like them  however strange or irritating they might seem   les vacances de m  hulot  is not subtitled  but the dialogue is sparse and for the most part not terribly essential to the flow of events  anyone with a taste for this kind of absurd humor ought to make this film their next rental from the video store  note   les vacances de m  hulot  was not rated by the mpaa  it would at most receive a pg rating  
pos	i had lost all faith in pg13 movies that are intended for teenagers and adults  the last dozen or so that i have seen have all felt incomplete  as if the most crucial scene was deleted in order to obtain a more lucrative rating  however  after seeing the creative frequency last week and now the exciting u571  my bias is beginning to go away  both films are as innocuous for younger viewers as they are intellectual for older viewers  even better  i didnt think either one of these films would be any good from first instincts  everyone loves surprises  u571 looked like another action film using an actual war as an excuse to shoot torpedoes and bullets  this may be true  but the action is so extraordinary that it is clear directorcowriter jonathan mostow completed his ultimate goal  to blow the audiences socks off  set during the early stages of world war 2 when the united states struggled to break the codes of the technologically advanced german uboats  u571 follows a small crew of american men who swipe the typewriter necessary to solve the enigma from an enemy ship  theres only one problem  the american ship they came from and hoped to return to has been shot down stranding the men on a german submarine known as  you guessed it  u571  it is now up to the mostly young and inexperienced sailors  led by an interim captain named tyler  matthew mcconaughey   to return the typewriter to america without getting sunk by far superior german ships  the film starts off very slowly with a somewhat weak opening action sequence and another uneventful half an hour to introduce several of the sailors  most of whom die when the mission goes awry or just inexplicably disappear   once the crew gets on the uboat  the movie shifts to another level and never leaves this high energy level until the ending credits roll down  as soon as the action starts  it does not stop and luckily  because it is so exciting  i didnt want it to stop  this is not a movie for those wanting to avoid loud noises  from the wonderful  heartpounding score to the constant yelling of panicking men  make sure you see this at a theater with surroundsound  otherwise  do not see it all  the best parts of u571 are when tyler is forced to make impromptu decisions on how to escape seemingly impossible situations  throughout the movie  several morals or characters are introduced to make tylers job as stressful as possible  germans gun down their own men  tylers mentor captain dahlgren warns him that a captain has to be prepared to sacrifice even the most beloved soldiers for a victory  another sailor  erik palladino  threatens mutiny  all of these examples  and several others  increase the chaotic atmosphere and the importance of tylers every move  they also make u571 one of the most exhilarating movies i have seen in a while  
pos	the 1990s produced two brilliant science fiction films  one was gattaca  the other was the thirteenth floor  just as gattaca was overshadowed by the mighty titanic  the thirteenth floor was relegated to obscurity by the matrix  however  the thirteeth floor  though it deals with similar themes  is a much better movie than the frenetic  childish and improbable matrix  a cutting edge computer scientist  hannon fuller  played by the charming armin muellerstahl   is murdered  his associate  douglas hall   craig bierko  apparently framed and suspected by the police  enters into the simulated world they have created in order to unravel the mystery  along the way a beautiful blonde  gretchen mol   more bodies  and a deepening mystery about simulated worlds complicate the picture  the thirteenth floor unfolds slowly and telegraphs its punches  choosing to elicit the more complex emotional response of empathy and anticipation rather than the cheap one of mere surprise  the result is a movie that is a failure from two conventional points of view  first  its plot revelations can be foreseen if one has carefully followed its complex storyline  second and more seriously  it demands that its audience think and feel  no wonder it fell through the cracks  done in film noir style as a murder mystery  this is a relatively deep movie that functions on several levels  many audiences will simply be bewildered by it  rather than engaged  which is a shame  because this movie amply repays a little emotional and intellectual investment  i recommend a second viewing simply to get the flavor of the frequent ironic foreshadowing in the opening parts of the movie  despite its philosophical challenges  the thirteenth floor derives its emotional force from the love story between jane fuller  mol  and douglas hall  bierko   as well as the close friendship between douglas hall and hannon fuller  in that sense it is more akin to gattaca than the matrix  which  for all of its cute philosophical byplay  is an adolescent movie with no emotional depth whatsoever  the moment when jane fuller confesses her love for douglas hall is at once satisfying  wrenching and intellectually challenging  in its final moments the film even takes on itself  when david  janes husband  who has come to enjoy killing  accuses her of being the sick one  although there is a victory for the leading characters  this resolution suggests a disturbing element of fantasy in jane  and thus a deepseated character flaw  in fact  hannon fullers activities in the simulated world  the behavior of janes husband  and the effects of entering the simulation on douglas hall all hint at similar issues with those characters  this is not a film of good people beset from without by great evil  the tragedy is not in their stars  but in themselves  the major actors  all of whom are required to play two or even three roles  perform extremely well  bierko  who will be familiar as the psycho from the long kiss goodnight  is outstanding  donofrio as whitney  who plays a pivotal role in support  also turns in a good performance  the lovely gretchen mol  whose elegance  integrity  and determination suggest bergman in casablanca  does a wonderful job  her voice  however  lacks the necessary weight at times  this could be because she was given the worst lines in a movie whose major weakness is the script  some minor flaws  hairline cracks in fine porcelain  appear in places  there are one or two instances of jerky editing  the script takes the edge off the films climaxes  the atmosphere becomes too claustrophobic at times  yet  there is a clue there too   one wonders if even after two decades  blade runner is still casting its long shadow over scifi films  one can see a group of suits in their suite  waving their hands imperiously at directors like the emperor in amadeus   make it more likeblade runner  you know  dark and rainy   the thirteen floor is that rare exception among hollywood movies  a  rich  emotionally satisfying  intelligent scifi movie  and yet  ultimately  it proves the suits right  for when good scifi is made  where is the sf community turning out in droves to see it  if we dont support great sf  who will  
pos	finding the courage to face life fullon is a difficult task  summoning up the audacity to fall in love is a harder job  if youre a total jerk like melvin udall is  the odds are even more against you  melvin  jack nicholson  is a successful romance author who is just the opposite of what you would expect someone in that profession to be  a solitary man hidden away in his new york apartment with no human interaction and not even a hint of ever having been in a passionate relationship  he avoids the outside world as much as possible  his obsessivecompulsive disorder rules his life as he uses several different bars of soap to wash his hands and refuses to step on a crack on the sidewalk   theres a great scene when he has to cross a floor made of mosaic tiles  verysmall mosaic tiles   melvin has some great lines  when his publishers receptionist asks him how he writes women so well in his books  he responds  i think of men and i take away reason and accountability   dont get him wrong  hes not merely a misogynist  setting his sights higher than that  hes also a homophobe  racist  antisemite  xenophobe  animalhater and intensely dislikes people who talk in metaphors  when we first meet him  hes busy dumping a neighbors dog down the garbage chute  hes an equal opportunity bigot  he does venture outside his apartment every day to eat breakfast at a local cafe  melvin is such a grouchy curmudgeon that waitress carol connelly  helen hunt  is the only one willing to wait on him  and shes none too happy about it  when carol doesnt show up for work  melvins routine is shot and hes determined to do something about it  tracking down her address  he shows up at her place begging her to come back to work so that he can eat breakfast  the fact that shes a poor single mother caring for a chronically ill son doesnt appear to phase him  he wants his food  much more upsetting is that his gay artist neighbor simon bishop  greg kinnear  is brutally attacked during a robbery  this doesnt upset melvin much   dont worry  youll be back on your knees in no time   but when he is bullied into taking care of simons dog  his life is turned topsyturvey  melvin is sequestered because hes afraid of whats out there on the other side of his apartment door  he has to make sure its ritualistically locked three times to keep the world on its proper side  when he brings the dog home he reluctantly grows fond of it  talking to it and taking it everywhere he goes  this little crack in his emotional armor opens him up  hiding behind his need for carol to return to work so she can serve him  he pays for a specialist to treat her son  he even develops a friendship with simon  all three people are heavily damaged  melvin has retreated from life in his apartment  carol has devoted herself to her son  convinced that she has to give up her life for him  simon is estranged from his parents and his friends disappear when he is hospitalized and his money runs out  a more unlikely trio to form relationships  youd rarely see  and in the midst of it all  there are some wonderful moments  melvin is hilarious in his grouchiness and touching as he attempts to be nice   you make me want to be a better man   he tells her  one of the best aspects is that even as he opens up  he is still a curmudgeon  carol  afraid that his monetary contribution to the wellness of her son hides a hidden agenda rushes over to his apartment in the rain to explain in no uncertain terms that she will never sleep with him  it only takes her a second to realize that she is delivering that statement while looking as if she just left a wet tshirt contest  theres hardly anything left to say about jack nicholson  i dont remember ever seeing him in anything less than a stellar performance and his overtheedge melvin is no disappointment  nicholson may be the best actor working today  hunt does a commendable job matching nicholsons energy  she isnt afraid to be seen as something less than a babe and her portrayal of exhausted rundown carol struggling with seemingly overwhelming obligations is topnotch  their onscreen chemistry is a bit odd  each does a wonderful job with the character  but together  theres something a little off  its a minor problem  they do work well together  but that missing element is what prevents this from being a fourstar film  director james l  brooks   terms of endearment    broadcast news   has a movie that is picking up awards by the bucketsful  nominees for all the top golden globes  winners from the national board of review  inevitable oscars  and has a winner on his hands   as good as it gets  isnt exactly the quality that the title says  but its pretty darn close   michael redman has written this column for over 22 years and as soon as he finishes this one  hes off to an annual 12 night celebration typically held in freezing weather during a snowstorm  this year its in the sixties and raining  that wacky el nino   
pos	bruce willis stars as malcolm  an award winning child psychologist who discovers one night that one of his former patients is still suffering from inner demons  the now grown man breaks into his apartment while he and his wife  olivia williams from rushmore  are celebrating his award  shoots malcolm in the stomach  then takes his own life  almost nine months later  malcolm discovers cole  haley joel osment  in a brilliant performance   another young man afflicted with the same turmoil as his former patient  he takes on the childs case in the hope of redeeming himself for botching up the previous one  alienating his wife in the process  he soon discovers that they boy can see and speak to the dead  and his life becomes forever turned upside down  although the first hour is very slow  the sixth sense turns out to be a very powerful and moving film  i was expecting this film to be mercury rising 2  but was astonished to discover an extremely well plotted out little thriller with an outstandingly satisfying ending  youll find yourself mentally retracing your steps through the film to see if you actually saw what you think you did once the credits roll  i must give m  night shyamalan a lot of credit for a brilliantly written screenplay  the cast should also be given a lot of credit for making the movie as solid as it is  a lesser cast could have made this film a joke  bruce willis portrays his character perfectly  balancing his need to help cole and his agony over his strained relationship with his wife skillfully  haley joel osment shines as nine year old cole  showing patience in his character that few young actors these days can pull off  toni collette  looking markedly different from her pathetic character in muriels wedding  gives a strong performance as coles mother  who is trying to cope with both her sons  illness  and the passing of her mother  finally  olivia williams deftly portrays a woman having to struggle with a husband whos not around and flirtations with a coworker that could lead to a begrudgingly accepted end  its a shame that they show coles abilities in the trailer  because the movie takes close to forty minutes to get around to doing the same  so we already know whats going on before most of the rest of the cast does  in retrospect though  the forty minute setup is essential to enjoying the end of the film  so i have fewer complaints now then i did while i was watching the film  im glad that the run of teenstyled horror films has passed and filmmakers are starting to make more adult fare  films like this  the similarly themed stir of echoes  and countless others to be released later in the year should make for a pretty entertaining close to 1999  pg13 
pos	i suppose an argument could be made that toy story is one of those films that didnt need a sequel  beloved by kids and their parents  respected equally by mainstream america and geekish movie buffs  that first movie remains a landmark of recent history  the one that burst open the possibilities of computer animation and demonstrated through wild invention and giddy chutzpah just how complacent the disney animation machine had become in cranking out fluffy razzledazzle entertainment full of formula storytelling and banal songwriting  if disney was embarrassed at being beaten at its own game  toy story was a smash hit of unexpected proportions  and one that caught the merchandising end of the business unaware as demand for action figures far outstripped supply   it didnt show  and as distributor and partowner of the property  at least it had a piece of the action  toy story 2 was greenlighted as a directtovideo project  disneys standard tactic for milking a few more bucks out of hot franchises without expending the effort of developing a proper feature film  as someone who doesnt believe sequels are necessarily a bad thing  granted  they usually are a bad thing  but thats because theyre made for the wrong reasons   i had to wonder what in the world they were thinking  fortunately  disney claimed to have been so knockedout by early animation tests that they let pixar go fullspeed ahead with a theatrical sequel  lucky thing  too  like the first movie  this one is a joy to behold on the big screen  and technically  it improves on its predecessor on just about every level   from a business standpoint  the end credits show that the new creations are copyrighted by pixar  while the previous films elements are shared between pixar and disney  a sign of the production houses new cachet in hollywood   visually  the main shortcoming of this fully computergenerated movie is that human figures are still rendered relatively poorly  making them look a little creepy  fortunately  that eerie unreality fits in perfectly with the perspective of the movie  where the secret world of toys is more immediate  and arguably more attractive  than the world of the humans who surround them  as before  the story is predicated on the premise that the toys scattered around the bedroom of a little boy named andy  and  indeed  all the toys scattered around the bedrooms of all little children  come to life in the childs absence  while the toys scamper about and chatter endlessly among themselves  the real joy of a toys life is to mean something to its owner  one of the subjects of this new film is the sadness of toys that have been broken or abandoned  left on a shelf to gather dust  and another is the sort of emotional limbo inhabited by toys that are mere prizes of covetous collectors  most often  those toys are packed away in dark spaces  safe from sunlight and humidity  and often theyre not even removed from their packaging  imagine what a chip that would put on your shoulder  and youll understand the attitudes of the collectors items that show up in this movie  sheriff woody  voiced by a noteperfect tom hanks   the longtime favorite among andys toys who was challenged in the previous goround by the arrival of flashynewthing action figure buzz lightyear  tim allen   suffers an injury early in the film  when andy tugs too hard on his arm and pulls a seam apart  revealing the stuffing inside  this accident catalyzes some uneasieness among the toys  who know too well that a broken toy is often a forgotten toy  and a forgotten toy is one that loses its reason for existence  those anxieties are crystallized when andys mom tears through his living room  collecting old toys for a yard sale  and theres an ironic twist to the tale  as woody winds up being stolen by an avid toy collector who needs exactly that quaint cowboy figure to complete a set that he hopes to sell to a japanese toy museum for a sizable sum  the rest of andys toys  who owe him quite a debt  resolve to rescue him  that this film manages to turn a box marked  25 cents  into a symbol of doom  or to make its screed against the retention of collectible toys by wrongheaded profiteers fuel for a metaphysical dilemma  is a testament to its skill at metaphor  seamlessly translating the hopes and fears of our real world into that of the toys  operating on this level of abstraction  toy story 2 tackles some mighty heavy issues without once preaching or veering into pretentiousness   the worst i can say is that randy newman seems to have reserved his sappiest lyric in years for sarah mclachlan  who stops the movie cold by singing it at just about the halfway mark   sometimes i think toy story 2 tries too hard  theres somewhat less of the seatofthepants loopiness that energized the first film  allowing it to surprise and excite on a nearconstant basis  and more philosophizing about toys  collectors  the nature of happiness and the meaning of life  while that leads to fewer bellylaughs  it does make way for more elaborate humor and an uncommonly ambitious reflexivity that asks the toys to consider their own status as commodities that move in and out of fashion   just dont ask why andys favorite toy is based on a tv series that was canceled in 1957   where else in mainstream movies do you get such an awesome moment as the one where buzz arrives at als toy barn to find it stocked to the gills with his doppelgangers  buzz lightyear action figures  forget the selfcongratulatory science fiction of the matrix  this is a fundamental mindbender for buzz  and the audience shares his humility and wonderment at the sight  here  as in the roughly concurrent scene where woody watches tapes of the howdy doodyish childrens tv show that originated his character  we see our protagonists come facetoface with god  in sly ways  then  toy story 2 can be read as a film about mortality  a metaphorical consideration of aging and death  significantly  the films very first sequence concludes with a grim shocker that had our openingnight crowd in a nearuproar  and toward the end  when buzz and woody speculate on how long they have before andy grows up and discards his old toys  one of them observes  with an alacrity both inspirational and heartbreaking  that it will be fun while it lasts  so toy story 2 joins the tradition of childrens stories  largely neglected of late  that say something real about the inevitable joys and tragedies of existence  whats really striking is that both toy story films  and  to a lesser degree  pixars a bugs life  are kids movies with wit and sophistication to shame most of their ostensibly adult counterparts  not to mention whatever piece of totfriendly eyecandy is due from the disney dream factory any given summer  it puts one in mind of the glory days of chuck jones and the old gang at warner bros  animation  im not sure lasseter and his pals at pixar will ever operate at quite that level of purely visual invention  they love traditional narrative too much  but  boy  it makes me wonder what they might come up with next   directed by john lasseter  colin brady  ash brannon  and lee unkrich written by lasseter  brannon  peter docter  andrew stanton  rita hsaio  doug chamberlain  and chris webb cinematography by sharon calahan starring  voices  tom hanks  tim allen  and joan cusack usa  1999 theatrical aspect ratio  1  85  1  
pos	tone alone cannot sustain a film  but it can go a long way  if i can find myself lost in the time and place of a story  it scores immediate style points  when that tone is backed up by an outstanding story and great acting  the effect can be described best by an adjective i do not use lightly   literary   whats eating gilbert grape  is such a film  its a rich  memorable and stunningly acted story of desire colliding with responsibility  staged in a manner which many viewers might find too prosaic  but which insinuated itself into my imagination with its confidence  gilbert grape  johnny depp  is a young man living in rural endora  iowa  facing incredible responsibilities  as the man of the house since his fathers suicide  gilbert must support the family by working at the local grocery store  he also must watch over his mentally handicapped brother arnie  leonardo dicaprio  and help care for his extremely overweight mother  darlene cates   gilbert seems destined to spend the rest of his life in the small town until the arrival in endora of becky  juliette lewis   a free spirit passing through with her grandmother when their truck breaks down  as he spends time with becky  gilbert begins to think about all the things he is missing  slowly his resentment builds  until he realizes that he can no longer live his entire life for other people  director lasse hallstrom  my life as a dog  and legendary cinematographer sven nykvist create a magnificent visual backdrop for peter hedges screenplay  based on his own novel  endora is a town on the edge of the world represented by the giant foodmart  a tiny insular community where everyone knows everyone else  the midwestern sunsets and sprawling fields are beautifully photographed  and the atmosphere of the town is intensely real  minor characters  like crispin glover as the towns mortician  are vividly realized  and there are echoes of the last picture show in mary steenburgens desperately unhappy housewife  one of the most perfectly realized scenes focuses on the grand opening of a burger franchise  attended by the entire town and accompanied by the offkey high school band  not a single note in the depiction of endora rang false  the same can be said of the character of gilbert  its testimony to the precision involved in his creation that he came together completely with one perfectly placed line  when becky responds to gilberts description of his father with   i knew someone like that once   gilbert is a man harboring an evergrowing bitterness about where he finds himself in life  a bitterness which reveals itself in moments of surprising cruelty  in one scene  he allows local children to look at his mother through their window  displaying her like a side show attraction  his entire life seems to be mocked by arnies repeated chants of   were not going anywhere   but instead of expressing his dissatisfaction he lets his anger simmer  and it becomes clear that he is following in his fathers footsteps in this regard  johnny depp expertly demonstrates the tension central to gilbert by playing everything below the surface  but he never gives in to onedimensional blankness or simply regurgitates his naif roles in benny  joon and edward scissorhands  depps performance is overshadowed  however  by leonardo dicaprios astonishing oscarnominated supporting work as arnie  he puts to shame such big name actors as john malkovich and dustin hoffman  whose mentally challenged characters never seemed completely real  dicaprio is perfect to the last twitch and squeal  and anyone who has ever spent time with mentally challenged kids will be hardpressed to spot a flaw  darlene cates  a firsttime actor  brings real pain to her scenes as gilberts tortured mother  and laura harrington and mary kate schellhardt are solid as gilberts sisters  only juliette lewis doesnt quite click  playing a critical role with her now familiar dopey drone and too little genuine spark  gilbert grape does seem to drift into its conclusion  but it never lost me  thanks to a lovingly created setting and a marvelous cast  this 1993 release proves well worth the wait  
pos	hollywood has a  750 batting average with elmore leonard adaptations  last years touch was illconceived and just plain odd but get shorty  jackie brown and now out of sight all were highly entertaining movies  steven soderburgh  master of sex  lies and videotape  now adds crime to his repertoire in this tale of bank robbery  prison  doublecrossing  uncut diamonds and  oh yeah  true love  george clooney is the protagonist  a risky choice after such duds as batman and robin and the peacemaker  but for once i didnt want to slap the taste out of his mouth  he plays his role in out of sight as the suave cary granttype perfected in hitchcock movies  the kind of guy to whom crime is just a profession like any other  nowhere present is clooneys usual aintisexy sneer  theres just enough leftover lightheartedness to fit in with the leonard style  clooney is definitely a perfect successor to john travolta in get shorty  clooney plays a man whos robbed about 200 banks without ever using a gun  in the opening scene  he walks into one bank and robs it not only with ease but with charm  of course  he gets caught  so its not all good  its while doing time in a florida prison that clooney learns of one rich inmates  albert brooks in a frightful bald wig  collection of diamonds in detroit  clooney and cohort ving rhames plan the score  while protection artist and fight promoter don cheadle begins rival plans  meanwhile  theres jennifer lopez  unintentionally funny in selena and intentionally funny in anaconda  shes finally graduated to a worthy role as the u  s  marshal who happens to be driving up to the jail on the night clooney escapes  rhames is waiting to give him a ride in a stolen car  and lopez makes it a threesome  her hostage ass locked in a trunk with clooney  hes covered in dirt and has a gun to her neck  and its a little cramped in there  but they manage to make a love connection anyway  probably because its a movie  the relationship between clooney and lopez is at the heart of the movie  and one of the details that elevates it beyond your normal noirish crime story  the leonard movies are more obsessed with dialogue than crime  and this is no exception  although theyre not really germane to the plot  lopezs relationship with her father  dennis farina of get shorty   rhames relationship with his christian sister  you could call her sister christian  and a popin cameo by michael keaton all lend extra class to a movie already full of it  out of sight spans at least three years but has a nonlinear structure  focusing on the jailbreak  brooks score and flashing back to earlier times  this is a movie with a brain  as smooth and calculated as the clooney and lopez characters themselves  the entire cast does the material justice  clooney and lopez coming into their own  and rhames and cheadle cementing their positions as two of my favorites  heres hoping future leonard adaptations continue to carry the torch  serving america for almost 120th of a century  
pos	synopsis  rumored to be about a true person  the story of mulan has circulated in oral tradition for over a thousand years  and has inspired operas  literature  and even coinage   since 1984  china has been issuing annual gold and silver coin sets commemorating famous historical figures  the 1992 set includes mulan   in the ballad of mulan  written in the 5th or 6th century   an imperial edict by the khan  emperor  orders men from each family to be drafted into the army to defend china  a girls parents hear sighing  and think that their daughter mulan  the name means magnolia  is dreaming of boys  but actually shes dreading what horrors might befall her old infirm father if he were to be drafted off to battle  mulan bravely runs away  masquerading as a boy  to serve in the army instead of her father  ten thousand miles and twelve years of brutal war later  the army finally returns in triumph  the emperor wants to reward mulans valor with a prestigious position in government  but she declines  accepts a horse  and returns home quietly to don her true clothes  mulans old army buddies visit and get the shock of their lives when they find out that mulan is actually a woman  the disney animated feature mulan is similar to the ballad story  only it adds a modern character for comic relief  mushu the dragon  eddie murphy   in disneys mulan  when a fierce army of invading huns threatens to overrun peaceful china the emperor orders one man from each family to be conscripted into the army  old mr  fa  soontek oh  is handicapped and has no son  he has only his spirited young daughter mulan  mingna wen   fearing for her fathers life  the courageous mulan secretly cuts her hair  disguises herself as a man  and sneaks off to serve in the army in her fathers stead  meanwhile mushu  the disgraced and demoted guardian dragon of the fa family  has been reduced to the size of a squirrel and the status of incense burner   his only duty is to ring a gong   mushu hits upon a plan to redeem himself and regain his guardian status by helping the disguised mulan to become a macho male warrior hero  with the help of mushu  a horse  and a lucky cricket  can army recruit mulan save china and bring honor to the fa family  opinion  east meets west  i know a chef in santa fe that does this sort of magic  he combines asian culinary influences from the west coast with latin american from down south and european from the atlantic to concoct new creations that hit just the right combination of flavors  from their state of the art animation studio in orlando  disney is hoping to work the same kind of eastwest magic with mulan  i mean  what would you say if i told you that a new movie featured tang dynasty art  with donny osmond singing  mingna wen acting  and eddie murphy playing a chinese dragon that makes pop references to batman and the reverend jessie jackson  yet this is the case in the disneys reinterpretation of the familiar chinese classic  the end result is spectacular  mulan is one of disneys best movies ever  personally  im also glad to see the detestable american stereotype of the weakwilled subservient asian woman take a beating  mulan is portrayed as a normal  if spirited  compassionate gal capable of taking the initiative  mulan is more than just eastern graphics and faces combined with westernized pop and disney  kids of any age will like the family themes  and will understand the good guys versus bad guys thing  and adolescent and preteen girls can appreciate the romance factor  while the boys admire the battles  and adults can admire those malefemale nuances as well as the interplay between traditional notions of family  honor  and duty with industrial age notions of romantic love  gumption  and questioning  but even the tiniest details reveal quality  the movies art supervisors spent three weeks in china researching the right look  negative spaces  positive detail  period clothing  and graphic designs typical of the time and place  computers were used for crowd scenes of up to 30  000 people  and a special program called attila was used for a spectacular sequence involving 2000 attacking huns on horseback  and singers osmond and salonga are at the top of their game  balance is crucial  a movie about a chuckling lone dragon played by eddie murphy might not be disneys cup of tea  but if you use the character as a comic sidekick to balance a determined and spirited heroine  then  pow  the dream team  by the same token  a tale about a girl in the army might be a sober exercise in filial piety by itself  but toss the dragon in there and youve got enough wahoo individualism for a light hearted disney romp  its rare that a movie can seamlessly combine elements from both east and west  old and young  male and female into a cohesive and entertaining whole  but mulan hits the universal bullseye  its movie for any age  creed  gender  or color  
pos	if youve ever perused my college comedy diary  another year in the life of a nerd   i never run out of cheap plugs   you know i didnt get along with my firstsemester roommate too well  in fact  during the threeweek period between thanksgiving and christmas break  i said a total of four sentences to him  so when i saw in the residence hall cable listings a movie called roommates  i envisioned 90 minutes of conflict between a couple of bickering young adults trapped in a 10 x 13 foot dorm room  then i saw that the star of roommates is peter falk  scratch that idea  but i still say someone should film the story of two college roommates whose relationship is less than ideal  of course  in my case it would be a silent picture  even without the college element  i still decided to watch roommates because i had absolutely nothing to do  unless you count studying for final exams  and who does    im glad i did  peter falks performance was actually what made the movie  and this is a guy i never considered a real actor  more like someone who went around in a trenchcoat solving prescripted mysteries  falk pleasantly surprised me here  permanently earning my respect  so all you  columbo  fans who think i live to insult the guy can just falk off  falk plays rocky  a 107yearold polish baker who raises his grandson after both the kids parents die  the movie begins with the moms death and the son moving in with his grandparents  after a couple stops along the sons journey to manhood  roommates progresses to the present day  with the grandson a surgeon and rocky in a condemned house he refuses to leave  the surgeon reluctantly offers the only possible solution  rocky will have to move into his place  the basement of a building rented by a group of chinese students   communists     the movie spans nine more years of rockys relationship with his grandson  and the trials posed when the grandson meets and falls in love withgaspa woman  and starts spending all his time with her  so  in his grandsons absence  rocky turns his pursuits to professional boxing  achieveing the world heavyweight title in a climactic fight with apollo creed    or am i confusing movie plots again  roommates has an almost epic feel to it  covering several generations of a family with one fiesty immigrant who refuses to die  death  though  knocks at the door of almost every other major character in the the movie  roommates has about as many casualties as the first halloween  the number cant be counted on one hand  unless of course youre the victim of some hideous genetic mutation  and you can probably guess who says farewell to planet earth at the end of the movie  no  not duran duran   i wont come out and say it  instead  ill just sit here and hum  eye of the tiger  until each and every one of you figures it out  roommates plays on all the major emotions  it knows when to make you laugh and when to make you cry  movies that can perfectly mix comedy and drama are always hits with the audience  even though this one bombed at the theaters  my point  there are no absolutes  or  another possible point  peter falk just isnt such a great box office draw  either way  this is still a good movie and you should give it a chance like i did  whether you hate your roommate or not  
pos	capsule  the director of cure brings a weird and very complex concept to the screen  one viewing will not be enough to understand fully the premise of pulse  the idea is something about ghosts and the internet  the film has an amazing apocalyptic style   2  4 to 4  perhaps the most disturbing  and disturbed   filmmaker in the world is kiyoshi kurosawa  his films all seem to have one style  bleak  the worlds he creates are terrifying and cold  little known in the us to date  his films deliver the kind of horror that so many of our filmmakers promise and are unable to deliver  most of his ideas are fresh and at the same time morbid  his 1998 film cure  with one of his niftiest ideas  is just now getting a sadly limited release in the us and hopefully enough people will see it that his name will soon be one to conjure with  cure is probably his classic  last year he released seance  a remake of seance on a wet afternoon  that was perhaps a miscalculation inserting supernatural elements into a nonsupernatural story  pulse is kurosawa back on form  taguchi  a young computer expert  is late with his delivery of some important software  two coworkers go to his apartment and find it a dismal dark affair in spite of his computer equipment  taguchi  acting very strangely  lets his friends look for the missing software  meanwhile he slips behind a plastic curtain  when he fails to respond to calls his friends follow him behind the curtain and discover he has hanged himself  if that was not horror enough the body seems to disappear leaving just a strange dark mildewlike spot on the wall  taguchis computer seems to have been infected with some kind of computer virus  people whose computer gets the virus seem superficially to die via suicide  but they are not entirely dead  their spirits seem to remain present somehow in the real world and on the internet  people who get the computer virus are asked if they want to see a ghost  if they say yes  they seem to be able to see real time images of the spirits still nearby somehow  the computer shows them impossible images of ghosts in their own rooms as seen from cameras that do not exist  this is all somehow connected to heaven and hell somehow filling up and overflowing  like a computer disk   instead the dead seem to be staying on earth and inhabiting computer viruses  there is some sort of passage between worlds having something to do with doors marked with red tape and strange electronic disturbances on computers  leave it to kurosawa to find a new kind of death  this is a film that has more weird ideas piled together than lifeforce and somehow kurosawa makes the film all work  it may not totally convey his message of isolation and its parallels to death  but whatever it does convey is nightmarish  kurosawa  who directs his own screenplay  ties his story into the real world with some familiar and accurate computer discussion  frequently the plot is advanced with character hunches being assumed to be fact  his plotting is frequently hard to follow and always very strange  junichiro hayashi  the cinematographer who recently has been doing all of kurosawas films  creates a dark  cold  and gloomy tone  images are obscured by semilighting or are behind plastic curtain  scenes are not milked for their horror the way american exploitation films might  people are shot with guns but there is little if any blood in evidence  seeing black silhouettes on computer screens is not immediately scary  kurosawa is not going for and easy visual shock  but a deeper metaphysical dread  of any horror filmmaker in the world  kiyoshi kurosawa is the one to watch  i rate this metaphysical look at isolation a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 2 on the 4 to 4 scale  
pos	when i first heard that disneys next animated feature was going to be tarzan  i was almost horrified  i was worried that disney was going to make another hercules  sorry  jerkules   that effort was too overloaded with comedy  and the hero was too boastful and pompous to be considered a sympathetic hero   and  after viewing it to this day  i find it a disgrace for disney animation  when i saw the trailers  i was thinking  hmm    this isnt bad at all  this just might have potential   when i bought the soundtrack  i was really quite surprised at how different it sounded from most disney features  i have never really heard of phil collins  nor have i heard of mark mancina  so i was wondering  how would these two make this disney flick spin  i was pleasantly surprised  the music is topnotch  phil collins songs are terrific  percussionheavy pieces of work that seem to break the formula for typical disney songs  the score from mark mancina was also neat  it reminded me a bit of the lion king  but it was more original  so  the soundtrack wasnt bad at all  considering it was by two people i am not familiar with  this film could be good    but will it be  when i finally went to see it  on opening day  as i tend to do with most disney animated features   my question was answered  in a complete turnabout of expectations for me  disneys tarzan is surprisingly decent  the story starts out with tarzans parents surviving a shipwreck and finding a home on an island where apes live in peace  however  one day  a vicious leopard  sabor  attacks and kills tarzans parents  leaving him  at this time  a baby  aloneuntil kala of the apes rescues him  kala wants to raise the child as her own  she lost hers previously to sabor   but her mate  kerchak is not too sure   its not our kind   he says  he agrees  though  to let her take care of little tarzan  but  that doesnt make him my son   tarzan grows up  vowing to be  the best ape ever   but no matter how hard he tries or what he does  at the guidance of his hilarious ape friend  terk   he just cant convince kerchak that he is one of the apes  even when he defeats sabor in a battle  one day  a new animal shows up  humans  this is where jane comes into the picture  she is on an expedition with her father  professor porter   and a despicable hunter  clayton  searching for gorillas  tarzan rescues her when she is chased by baboons  and soon they get to know each other  even though tarzan falls in love with jane  this causes things to go wrong  clayton tricks tarzan into taking him  jane  and porter to see the apes  who are convinced that he has betrayed them  worse  clayton has plotted to send the gorillas to london for money  will tarzan find out which family he belongs to and save the apes  im not gonna tell you  sorry  youre gonna have to see for yourself  and see it you should  the animation is  as always  top notch  particularly when tarzan goes soaring through the trees  read that  skateboarding   the deep canvas computer generated effect adds an authentic feeling to the jungle which tarzan lives in  in fact  it seems similar to the computer imagerycel animation combination in rival disney animted films  such as foxs anastasia and dreamworks prince of egypt  could it be that disney was actually taking ideas from their rivals  the casting is fairly good  tony goldwyn is emotionally believeable as tarzan  and to my relief  the animators have succeeded in not making him another hercules  nicely done   and glenn close is wonderful as kala  she has a beautiful singing voice  too  by the way   lance henrikson as kerchak somewhat reminds me of robby bensons beast voice  which makes him all the more ferocious and gripping  minnie driver had me a little worried at first as the voice of jane  i thought she had the most annoying voice in the whole film  when i first saw the trailers   but when i saw the film  i didnt have a problem with her  i take back my insult on driver  its nice to hear nigel hawthorne do another voice for a disney animated feature  he was fflewdurr flamm in disneys most underrated classic  the black cauldron   he is funny and delightful as professor porter  on the villiany side of the voices  brian blessed  the guy who did boss nass in star wars  episode ithe phantom menace  brings a pompous  and later on vicious  voice to the sinister clayton  he might not be the strongest character in the film  hes just a plain bad guy  nothing else   but blesseds vocal work contributes greatly  but if there is any voice that i think steals the whole show  it should be rosie odonnell  who is hilariously funny as terk  she also has a fiesty attitude   im gonna kill ya   she says  more than once   i almost sung along with her during one of the films best moments  where the apes make a mess of the humans camp  via song  er  scatting  shoobedoo  dabedah   i can see why she wanted to have a rock song for the film  shes a good singer  not that she was the only funny character in the film  though  wayne knight  who played stan in space jam  gives a whimsically funny style to tantor  an elephant who is especially worried about stepping into  unsanitary  water   thankfully  there is no real sound of flatuencethat would have killed the picture   the songs  as i said before  are decent  mostly sung by collins  this sets a new standard for disney animated films because for the first time  the characters do not sing  i tolerate musical numbers from characters a lot more than some other guys would  but i found this to be a nice change of pace  the story does have elements of comedy in it  but they also load it with strong dramatic touches  which makes this film far better than the unbelieveably uninspired hercules  if there is anything disappointing about tarzan  it might be the omission of the n sync version of  trashing the camp  from the film  i heard it on the soundtrack  and wondered where it was going to be  i was upset that it wasnt  because i had thought of taking a few friends of mine who like n sync to see tarzan  oh  well    overall  i was enthralled with tarzan  i wouldnt hold it high the way i do with mulan or the hunchback of notre dame  my alltime favorite disney classics   but this film deserves a high place among disneys greatest achievements  i give a nod to disney for following up their spectacular      masterpiece  mulan  with this great animated adaption of egar rice burroughs tarzan  
pos	the opening crawl tells us that the galaxy is in turmoil over the taxation of trade routes  and the greedy trade federation has used its armada of powerful space battleships to blockade the planet naboo  we soon find that the federation plans to invade the planet with an enormous army of warrior robots and force naboos ruler  the young queen amidala  natalie portman  to sign a treaty giving the federation control  however  the galactic republic has sent jedi knights quigon jinn  liam neeson  and obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor  as emissaries to the federation in order to negotiate for the ending of the blockade  no sooner do they arrive than the federation leaders are instructed via holographic transmission by a mysterious cloaked figure to destroy the jedi  and the first battle begins  it seems that for me and thousands of people like me  the love for george lucass trilogy of star wars movies has only grown over time  were the fans  not the freaks  we wont go dressing up like darth vader  although you have to admit those imperial uniforms are pretty darn cool   and we wont incorporate lines from the script in our everyday conversations  not all the time  anyway   but if someone wants to challenge us to a little trivia contest  were throwing down  all right  stop looking at me like that  we have been faithfully and patiently waiting  waiting for this movie ever since the end credits of return of the jedi started to roll  you see  the trilogy is not just a set of movies  but a religion of sorts to we  the faithful disciples  and the phantom menace is tantamount to the second coming of the messiah  unfortunately  it is not our savior  for weeks beforehand  i was going around telling people that this movie had better be damned good  stupendously good  miraculously good  anything less and itll be the biggest disappointment of the century  i didnt want the doomsaying prophecy to come true  really i didnt  but this film nevertheless fails to reach the pinnacles of filmmaking  character development is virtually nonexistent  with the possible exception of quigon  most of the films characters seem left with nothing to do but go through the motions  none seem very affected by their experiences  and few even show any passion at all  contrast this with the horribly irritating comic relief we are nearly continuously subjected to in the form of jar jar binks  a creature belonging to a race which lives in underwater cities on naboo  in precarious symbiosis with the land dwellers led by amidala  jar jars life is saved by quigon early in the film  and travels with our heroes for the sole reason of making us laugh  or supposedly so   his speech mannerisms are so  cuteified  that i couldnt understand a third of what he was saying  and the slapstick he performed was just distracting  his head gets caught in an electronic field  his foot gets caught in the stirrup of some large beast  he describes being in trouble as  deep doo doo   and even manages to step in some of the same while walking around in mos eisley spaceport  therein lies a key difference between this film and one of its predecessors  in star wars  we had obiwan telling us mos eisley was a  wretched hive of scum and villainy   in the phantom menace  we get doo doo  the films of the trilogy took me away from my everyday life and immersed me in a story  a long time ago in a galaxy far  far away      this film  on the other hand  constantly reminds me that its only a movie by including situations and phrases that are so uniquely modern american that they seem incredibly out of place and serve to jerk the viewer from the experience  perhaps the most blatant offense occurs during a scene where young anakin skywalker enters into a pod racing competition  its kind of like chariot racing with large engines instead of horses   and there are a couple of commentators in a press box delivering indy 500like play by play  i liked the pod race  it was really exciting and ratcheted the tension  but when the heck did lucas think up the idea of putting in the sportscasters  the race would have been even more exciting without the distraction  this aspect  coupled with the emphasis on humor simply baffled me  i suppose one may say that lucas was trying to appeal to the younger viewer  but would more intelligent scenes and dialog hurt this appeal at all  didnt millions of youngsters still go back to see the original star wars in 1977 over and over again  didnt the action figures still sell like hotcakes  of course they did  and its only poor judgment that allows the mosteagerly awaited film in history to be marred by pandering to children who would still have enjoyed a film with more appeal for adults  one aspect that will appeal broadly  however  is the use of special effects  the people at lucass industrial light and magic  the worlds premiere effects house  outdid themselves in providing seamless integration of computergenerated images and reallife footage  some of the scenes have to be seen to be believed  especially the shots of a land battle between the federations robot army and jar jars countrymen  the space battles are also impressive  although improved over past efforts by only subtle margins to the casual observer  this  however  is a testament to the work which ilm produced two decades ago and still holds up well today  john williams is back  of course  providing a score for the film as only he can  his music is pervasive throughout  as rousing and as dramatic as ever  always serving to punctuate scenes noticeably and appropriately  since this film is supposed to be the first installment in a nineepisode story  star wars  the empire strikes back and return of the jedi being episodes four  five and six  respectively   the phantom menace has the daunting task of setting up the origins of several characters we know already  in addition to those with whom we unfamiliar  as a result  attention to history and characterization was spread a little thin  it would have been nice to get more in depth with yoda and obiwan  for example  but given the fact that there were several new characters to cover  it is understandable that some of the development has been left for the next two films  one of the new characters is darth maul  hailed as the new villain with as much hype as marketing forces could muster prior to this films release  in spite of the hype  darth maul is a character which almost didnt have to be in the film  his role is so insignificant  he has maybe three spoken lines  believe it or not  a second actor voices the character  and the rest of the time just scowls and looks mean  with that working against him  he never has a chance at being interesting and instead ends up an utter disappointment  lucas seems to have wanted to develop the spiritual nature of the star wars universe  something which has been prominent throughout  however  he does so largely by paralleling the star wars spirituality with the bible  offering an easy out for storywriting and once again bringing the viewer back to planet earth with a reallife connection  oddly  while trying to capitalize on spirituality  lucas at the same time introduces the fact that mastery of the force is dependent upon having little forceloving parasites in your bodys cells  this only serves to demystify the workings of the force a few notches by offering a scientific connection  dont let me mislead you too far  the phantom menace  by most standards  is a good film  it contains a lot of visual treats  sets the stage for an epic story  gives us a bit of excitement here and there  and even allows us to revisit some of our old friends  its just that when held up to its predecessors  and to not do so would be unrealistic   this film simply pales  
pos	in december of 1996  a little movie called  scream   was released  became a boxoffice smash  and resurrected films targeted at teens  first  it was teen slasher movies that were the big fad  both  scream  movies   i know what you did last summer    urban legend   etc    but just recently  the popularity has switched over to the teen comedy genre  a la 80s john hughes   starting with last junes  cant hardly wait   it may be the first week of april in 1999  but so far this year we have been given a movie aimed at the 25andunder market almost every single week   varsity blues    jawbreaker    cruel intentions    simply irresistible    the rage  carrie 2   and  the mod squad   coming april 9 are two more of this type   never been kissed  and  go   and on april 23  weve got the teen satire  election  and the teen horrorcomedy  idle hands   jeesh  out of all of these moves  however  the one that is most similar to the latest incarnation   10 things i hate about you   is this past januarys mediocre  hohum  shes all that   although similar in plotting  ok  darn near identical    10 things i hate about you   a modernday version of shakespeares  the taming of the shrew    shes all that  got its inspiration from  pygmalion    is an infinitely superior film in every department  from the smart direction by firsttime feature director gil junger to the charming and wellwritten screenplay by karen mccullah lutz and kirsten smith to the striking ensemble cast  who give the best group of performances in a teen comedy since 1985s  the breakfast club   and to top it all off  in the inevitable climax set at the prom  at least we didnt have to once again suffer through a goofy  inappropriate dance sequence  who could forget  or want to remember  for that matter  this ludicrous development in  shes all that     the day wideeyed  shy new student cameron james  joseph gordonlevitt  starts school at seattlebased padua high  he is swept away at the sight of the beautiful and popular sophomore  bianca stratford  larisa oleynik   although he doesnt know french  he purposefully learns some of it just so he can tutor her  but finds that her paranoid gynecologist father  larry miller  wont allow her to date until her bitter  unconventional older sister  kat  julia stiles   a senior  decides to  kat  of course  has sworn off the likes of boys  but cameron sets out to find someone that will be the perfect match for her  which is exactly what he finds in the form of the rebellious patrick verona  heath ledger   complicating matters  camerons dorky friend  michael  david krumholtz   decides to use a wealthy jock  joey  andrew keegan   who also has his sights set on bianca  as a pawn so that he will pay patrick to get kat to go out with him  and then cameron hopes to steal bianca away from joey  as you can see   10 things i hate about you  includes a huge number of characters  some of which i havent even mentioned  such as kats shakespeareobsessed friend  mandella  susan may pratt  and biancas materialistic comrade  chastity  gabrielle union   at a short  but wellused running time of 98 minutes  all of the characters are perfectly handled  satisfyingly developed  and  for the most part  are not treated as caricatures  another flaw of  shes all that   where the bad guys  and gals  ran around constantly saying   youre vapor    since i could sympathize with the realistic depictions of the central characters  and since many of the comedic and dramatic scenes were surprisingly effective  i got completely caught up in all of the relationships and was thoroughly entertained  aside from a good screenplay  its the performances that can make or break a movie  and director junger has really hit the jackpot  aside from joseph gordonlevitt   3rd rock from the sun    who gives his strongest performance to date here  none of the actors are that wellknown  but it is this aspect that brings a particular freshness to the proceedings  as the main character of kat  julia stiles  last seen in the miniseries  the 60s   is marvelous and always believable  and certainly has a bright future ahead of her  even though it is her role that is initially the most difficult and hardedged  it was easy to identify with kats way of thinking  she is against the silly tradition of the prom and loves reading sylvia plath   and i completely admired her individuality  no one  i think  could have portrayed her as perfectly as stiles does  heath ledger  as the infamous badboy of the town  injects much life into patrick  and has a lot of chemistry with stiles  one other actor of note is larisa oleynik who  with the help of screenwriters lutz and smith  is able to turn bianca into a person with multidimensions  even though she is accurately selfcentered at the onset  in one truthful scene  cameron angrily asks her if she has always been so selfish  and bianca grudgingly realizes that yes  she has  one offbeat element of the film  and a source of some hearty laughs  is the way that the schools staff act  which is strikingly unformal  allison janney  as the guidance counselor ms  perky  who is writing a trashy harlequin romance novel  is comic dynamite  as is daryl  chill  mitchell as the english teacher  who reads shakespeare to the class in rap and  at one point  sends kat to the office because  for once  she actually thinks one of his assignments is really good  although there are a few cheap laughs that are thrown into the film near the beginning  most of it actually works  especially in the humorous and witty dialogue exchanges and quirks between the characters  in one very funny scene  chastity asks   i know people can be overwhelmed  and they can be underwhelmed  but can people just be    whelmed   at another point  bianca and kats father  a standout larry miller   who is constantly terrified that his daughters are going to get pregnant  only allows bianca to go to the prom on one occasion  before she leaves  she has to put on the heavy fat suit he has so she will get an idea of what its like to be pregnant   10 things i hate about you  once and for all proves that there is still life in the teen comedy genre  and this movie is probably more reminiscent of the great john hughes than any other film of the 90s  it also helps that the movie has a perfectlyassembled soundtrack  mixing indierock with new wave 80s songs  and with  thank goodness  no rap   by the films end  it actually had me rooting for certain characters to get together  and i was also quite pleased with how everything was wrapped up  especially in the final scenes involving kat and bianca  kat and her father  and a flawlesslyacted and moving sequence in which kat gets up to read the poem she has written for her english class  this is where the title comes from   luckily  i doubt i would be able to find ten things i hate about  10 things i hate about you   but the positive aspects of the film far outnumber ten  
pos	the last steve martin film i saw  the spanish prisoner  was a very different approach for the comic actor  as a millionaire leading a massive conspiracy in order to rob  a process  from a clueless businessman  martins character did it all for money  in his most recent movie  bowfinger  martin plays yet another con man except this time he does it to succeed in the film industry  he wants to direct a successful picture that will force people to remember his name  that will make him more popular at the parties  and  most importantly  that will cause fed ex to deliver important business packages to his front door  playing the title role  martin is once again the good guy  the one we cheer for to complete his low budget action movie  this con man is very likeable for some reason  even though he is doing the same exact thing as the malicious jimmy del from the spanish prisoner  maybe the message is that  in hollywood  to win over the trust and friendship of others  you have to be a little evil  bowfinger is a very clever comedy with great performances from its two stars  martin  who also wrote the screenplay  is perfect as a jerk with a conscience and eddie murphy does his best  peter sellers  in two different  but equally hilarious  roles  one as a big time move star and the other as his nerdy  burger king employee brother  the story follows aging and failing directorproducer bobby bowfinger as he makes one last attempt to become a respected member of his field by creating a baction movie called chubby rain  in order to attract actors and crew members  bowfinger promises them that hot shot actor kit ramsey will star in the movie  the only problem is that kit refuses to be in it  but this wont stop the aggressive bowfinger  he is so determined to complete his film that he decides to put kit in it without even telling him  he has his actors approach kit on the streets of los angeles in character with a hidden camera filming the footage  will bowfinger be able to make his film  or will kit ramsey discover what exactly is going on  bowfinger is a very cartoonlike movie that pokes fun at hollywood and its famous residents while simultaneously holding a very solid story line  the only area where the film really lacks is the cameo department  this is the kind of movie that cameos are all about  it is always funny to see actorsdirectorsproducers making fun of themselves or coworkers especially in a playful movie such as this  besides the very repetitive and superflous ending  bowfinger is a joy to watch  if you take a movie like this seriously then you will never enjoy it  if you accept the incredulous plot and the extreme caricatures of real entertainment figures  the movie is great fun  
pos	whenever studio executives try to combine the successful formula of two blockbuster films  the end result is always a mess of a script  acting  directing  and generally a waste of time for any audience with an average iq above 40  the latest movie morass from hollywood  the crew  appeared equally destined to fail  a strange combination of grumpy old men and goodfellas tossed together with the likes of richard dreyfuss and burt reynolds helming the ship  the scary thing is that its actually entertaining and a breath of fresh air in this otherwise stale month  the crew works for several reasons  the clever script is reminiscent of an old billy wilder movie  following four  past their prime  wiseguys from jersey who now live in the raj mahal apartment house in miami beach  the wiseguys find themselves being evicted from their  golden paradise  by greedy landlords bent on raising rents for new beach bunnies and boys looking for beachfront property  the four mobsters  bobby bartellemeo  richard dreyfuss   joey  bats  pistella  burt reynolds   mike  the brick  donatelli  dan hedaya   and tony  mouth  donato  seymour cassel  decide to hatch a scheme to plant there a dead body heisted from the morgue in order to drive out the new tenants and keep their home  this  simple plan  suddenly goes screwy  of course  and the boys become involved with a stripper named ferris  jennifer tilly  who wants her stepmother killed  a paranoid latin drug lord whos convinced a mysterious rival is out to get him  and a rat with its tail on fire  the crew works as a strong comedic vehicle driven by a great ensemble cast of talented character actors and subtle leading men  instead of concentrating on bobbys search for his daughter  the film gives equal screen time to all four wiseguys  balancing the production  the acting talents of such screen veterans as dan hedaya  seymour cassel  and the great  great burt reynolds are brought out by each characters uniqueness and synergy within the wiseguy circle  a strong supporting cast including jeremy piven as a philandering boyfriendcoppartner and miguel sandoval as the paranoid drug lord provide the most laughs  the film was produced by barry sonnenfeld and carries a hint get shorty with its energetic camera work by michael dinner  emmy awardwinning director of the wonder years  the quick script written by barry fanaro  screenwriter of kingpin  is carried by plenty of subtly dry humor and wit  the crew is a prime example of how simple and drywitted a comedy can get these days  the great thing is that this comedy does not need to be punctuated by bodily fluids  phallus symbols in the head  or grandmothers giving head in a spa  in the steady flow of  extreme  comedy these days flowing from hollywood like a broken water main  its the elder statesmen like dreyfuss  reynolds  and hedaya that can carry a comic arc with only a few weapons of choice  a decent script and good acting  
pos	along his carreer  mel gibson has collected several successes  not only from an economic point of view but also from an artistic point of view  for all that  i think no one could guess the skills and abilities now disclosed in braveheart  the australian actor decided to produce and direct a film about sir william wallace  a popular scotch hero of the 13th century  where he would also perform the principal role  accepting so huge challenge  mel gibson run the risk of stain all his work of years  with a suppoosed failure  just to see recognized  by everyone  all his potentialities and  that way  to consolidate his position in hollywood  it was  definitely  an enormous risk but im sure mel knew exactly well what he was going to face  braveheart is  in fact  a magnificent and magisterial film  for three hours we are completely absorbed by the narratives rhyitm which never gives place to a single moment of monotony or uninterest  the william wallaces story is the story of so many others brave libertys defenders who fought and gave the life for that essential value  along the centuries  seeing himself and his people victims of injustices and violent repression  william wallace dares to face the powerful edward i  king of england  in a war by the autonomy of scotland  as the victories succeed the number of fighters with wallace goes growing up  his courage and inteligence are admired by everyone  including the princess isabelle of wales  wife of edwards son  however  william wallace was also surrounded by enemies and some of them were closer than he thought  braveheart may not be an historically corrected movie but the nature of its message make us think about the importance that we give to liberty  nowadays  mel gibson directs with a lot of brilliancy a brilliant cast  patrick mcgoohan has a very nice performance as edward i  the king longshank  the scene when he waits for the death and loses his voice is really good  sophie marceau  as princess isabelle  has along the movie no more than fifteen minutes of performance but mel gibson gave to those minutes such a very special treatment that princess isabelle soon becomes one of the major characters in braveheart  i also liked the performances of angus macfadyen  as robert the bruce  and  of course  mel gibson  as william wallace  however  i think this time the mel gibsons work as director was much better than his work as actor  the excellent music composed by james horner is another thing that helps braveheart to be the success that it really is  when we join that music to the beautiful scotch landscapes  view by the camera of john toll  then we realize all the beauty of this film  braveheart is  in my opinion  one of the best movies of 1995  ive heard some people saying that mel gibson is gonna be a new david lean  for now  lets see if braveheart equalizes the 6 oscars of lawrence of arabia  it wont be easy  its gonna be one more challenge for mel gibson  
pos	renown surrealist director  the 77yearold frenchman alain resnais  hiroshima  mon amourlast year at marienbadm  lo   has created a lighthearted musical played as an homage to britisher dennis potter and his pennies from heaven  1978 tv serial  1981 movie  and the singing detective  1986   the film follows potters gimmicky style of having the characters jump into lipsynched old or contemporary french pop songs to express their private thoughts  he also follows the kind of sweet and colorful musicals his fellow countryman jacques demy loved to direct  such as  the umbrellas of cherbourg  and  the young girls of rochefort   the tale has resnaiss unique touches as a director to go along with his homage  it is a satire about class differences and falling in love with the wrong person  and that there is a song in everyones heart for every occasion  what hinders this production is that the stars are not portraying particularly engaging characters  the songs are not memorable and stand little chance of being recognized by an american audience  the exceptions might be the edith piaf and maurice chevalier numbers   and the farce seems more banal than daring  yet it is not without its striking moments and charms  such as when jane birkin does a cameo and sings one of her own songs  also  the glossy amberlike photography added a very french romantic feeling to the story  while the mood of paris as being a place for love to flourish above all else  which has always been embellished in movie lore  comes through with flying colors  it also does a good job of showing you the way paris is in the 1990s and in the way ordinary people exist there  it tells the romantic story of six parisians who become intertwined with each other in their ordinary lives as they search for happiness  they are the attractive sisters odile  sabine az  ma  and camille  agnes jaoui   with the older businesswoman odile married and decidedly set on a bourgeois life of material comforts  she is married to the glum and laconic claude  pierre arditi   she once went out with a businessman  nicolas  jeanpierre bacri   who left her 8years ago and now shows up in paris and asks her help to find someone to rent a flat for his family  simon  andre dussolier  works as a realestate salesman and is trying to find nicolas a flat  in his spare time he writes radio plays  simons boss is the much younger  unscrupulous and arrogant marc duveyrier  lambert wilson   who inherited the firm from his father and is the realestate agent selling a more luxurious and larger flat with a better view to odile  but fails to tell her that a building project is going up soon that will block her view  screenwriters and actors jeanpierre bacri and agnes jaoui wrote themselves the best parts  jaouis camille is a university scholar finishing up a ph  d  in history  using for her thesis the study of the yeomen in the year 1000 at lake paladru   she works as a tour guide in the meantime and suffers from panic attacks  even though she appears to have outwardly perfect selfcontrol  on her tours for the last four years has been the much older simon  pretending to be doing research for his plays but really attracted to her  but not having the nerve to tell her this  to his dismay  he finds out she is dating his meanspirited but handsome boss  whom she meets when looking at her sisters new place and seeing him crying but not realizing that it was from a cold  not because hes so sensitive  bacri as the classy nicolas  turns out to be now working as a chauffeur  he is a hypochondriac with a history of depression who visits many doctors  until he finds one who tells him there is nothing wrong with him  odile still pines for him  but hes married  telling her he expects his wife to arrive shortly  love is the same old song that makes the world go round  even when all the characters are liars and not exactly open to what their true motives are  everything comes together in a bourgeois housewarming party for odiles place  as the characters reveal their true feelings and all their deceptions and neurotic impulses are either uncovered or about to be  theres not a lot of bite to this satirical musical  but resnais has never made a bad film and is one of the best current french directors  if not the best  this film is not one his great ones  but it still has enough pep in its light touches to be interesting  it not only has an odd way for the characters to break into song but  some males even sing in a female voice while some females sing in a male voice  it is also interesting in the way it examines its characters behavior as being similar in business as in love  
pos	in 1987 the stock market crashed  and oliver stones wall street was released to critical acclaim and packed movie houses  wall street lucked out in its timing  the recent crash gave the film a resonation it might not of had  and though its killorbekilled approach to business was exaggerated  that very ideology was keyed into the mind set of the quintessential reaganera businessman  stone constructed his film as a mythical good vs  evil tale relayed in the fastpaced milieu of the burgeoning stock exchange  critics and audiences lauded wall street  elevating its status to that of a contemporary classic  im proud to say that i will never be counted as one of them  i found wall street to be just as axiomatic and pandering as the majority of stones output with its thin caricatures  obvious sentiments  and a charisma barren performance by the young charlie sheen  stone goes for broke in every scene  the same could be said for nearly all of his works   this approach tends to bury his purported message beneath a heap of good intentions  he directs stock exchange scenes in typical hyperbolic mode with people shouting into phones as if they were in a plummeting airplane  its all an excuse for stone to ratchet up the emotion with false intensity  rather than explore what these situations are really like  i have a feeling the brokers would be psychologically manipulative  as they are presented in boiler room  rather than laughably over the top  these guys are salesmen after all  not televised judges  more than anything i am baffled by why so many adore wall street  the only possible solution i can muster is its release date  and not just the timeliness of the  greed is good  subject matter  the film was plumped down in the eighties  a decade in which the onejoke comedy rose to an art form  and a group of glamorous brat packers smirked their way through inane high concept  low result movies  in my mind  the eighties will forever be remembered as a decade with not only a proliferation of bad movies  but bad music  bad hair  and bad clothes  maybe stones after school special set in wall street was viewed as a welcome change of pace  boiler room is an equally welltimed film with some similarities to stones piece of crap  they both feature a consequential fatherson relationship  though boiler rooms is much more subtle and touching  and they are both concerned with the power of greed  yet the men in boiler room are akin to poseurs presuming to be big shots rather than the slipperysmooth  heartless gordon gecko figures of wall street  boiler room is a message movie as well  though  at least until the end  doesnt shove it in our faces  boiler room is about the pursuit of cash and the degrees to which people will go for that cash  as i said  this film is indeed timely in a society where who wants to be a millionaire is the number one prime time show every day  bringing about a revolution of prime time tv watching that hasnt been seen in quite a while   not only do we want to be millionaires  we want to watch other people become millionaires  in our superjudgmental  poweroriented culture the desire for money supersedes everything  when you have money  you have it  all   and seth  giovanni ribisi  wants it  all  the easy way  hes a wellintentioned college drop out who gets lured into working for an illegally run brokerage firm  the kind that sells junk stock  whereupon he meets others just like him  ben affleck is cast as jim  the company headhunter  who struts in commanding the room like a frat boy gordon gecko  his job is to influence trainees into becoming enthusiastic employees by giving a speech that subtly attacks their man hood  its ironic that he sells these pups the same load of b  s that theyre told to dish out to prospective buyers  afflecks character is obviously supposed to recall alec baldwins similar character in glengary glen ross  and that proves detrimental to the actors performance  affleck shouts  curses and belittles his rookie employees just like baldwin  minus the edge  when alec played the scene he became the part  spewing those brutal lines as if they were his own  by comparison affleck simply looks as if he were doing a really hammy line reading  the brokers approach their job with the fervor of overzealous jocks  they storm to work like football players on the way to the big game  rap music thumps on the soundtrack effectively illustrating who these guys think they are  intellectual gangsters  they arent above a rumble as a test of man hood especially during leisure time where the lumbering scott caan seems all too eager to use his fists in minor disputes  we drink up this world along with seth  and watch him become seduced by it  just like we might be  as in all cautionary tales  boiler room begins with seducing us into its illustrious world of profit and wrongdoing  then smacks us with the consequences of all the recklessness  i know this story  we all do  but it can work if its told with intelligence and energy  and that is how writer  director ben younger tells it  as a director of  please excuse my french  miseenscene younger has much to learn  his style is sitcom bland  but his writing isnt  youngers script is well studied in the vernacular of this bunch  his dialogue is like a junior david mamet  despite the moderate camera work younger fills his phonepitch scenes with tension that comes from just the performances and the tightly wound script  the brokers  hucksters counter every customer objection  gently bullying them into buying stock  these moments are filmed like psychological action scenes  a tense confrontation between a victimizer and a victim who isnt aware that he is one  with the exception of afflecks brief appearances  the performances are truly exceptional  ribisi  who has the edgy looks of a character actor  is extremely potent here  working his pale angular face  and eerie  plaintive stare for all their worth  he conveys childlike vulnerability  his character seems to hide in a corner whenever things arent going his way  in some scenes  and in others hes ferociously cut throat  the jekyll and hyde contradiction works well in the movie  ribisi is confident when its just him and the phone  but cowardly in front of authority figures including his abrasive father  authoritatively played by ron rifkin   boiler room thankfully avoids wall streetlike histrionics in the salespitch sequences  the sales build slowly like a crescendo of intelligent psychological ploys  those ploys are taught to seth by chris  vin diesel   a kind broker who alternates between seths friend and his mentor  diesl shines in his minor role  this week i saw the scifi opus pitch black in which diesel plays a completely different role in an equally effective manner  in that film he has the kind of role that might have gone to arnold schwarzenegger in the 80s  and in boiler room he has the kind of role that might have gone to elliot gould in the 70s  nicky katt is also memorable as a superior broker obsessed with what he cant have  nia long  as the firms secretary   a lone black women amongst many white men  is ribisis love interest in a part that at first looks to be as insignificant as most of the parts this talented actress gets  but develops into something more interesting  the two make an oddly likeable couple  long is smart and brash  and ribisi is charmingly aloof  at one point he says to her  im just lookin for some chocolate love   its a terrible line but ribisi delivers it in such an innocuous childlike way  it becomes sweetly endearing  unfortunately  towards the end  the boiler room turns a tad schmaltzy  there is much crying  hugging  and sorrowful stares  this is okay when taken in small doses  but youngers conclusion is constructed as a series of these boohoo moments  one following the other  a particular misstep is his attempt to show the effect that seths manipulations have on one of his poor victims  its not a bad idea but the execution is lacking  with those scenes feeling tacked on to further spell out the message  that message being   greed is bad   yes its patently obvious  but boiler room conveys it by introducing us to a culture that i havent seen much of in the movies  the disenfranchised twenty something entrepreneur  and all wall street did was introduce us to a simplistic fantasy world of saints and sinners  boiler room offers neither extreme  it gives us what is in between  and for that i am thankful  
pos	look back at all the times in your life when there was a fork in the path to the future  some sort of decision had to be made  and  for better or worse  it irrevocably altered the course of your existence  from timetotime  everyone thinks about the roads not taken  and how things might have turned out if the choice had been different  perhaps even more dizzying to contemplate is how a seemingly minor action  catching the 10 am train  for example  could have an equally profound  yet less obvious  impact  maybe thats where you met your significant other  and  had you reached the platform just a few seconds later  film makers are no less fascinated by issues of destiny than anyone else  and thats why theres no shortage of movies about this subject  the best of the bunch were probably made by the late polish director krzysztof kieslowski  who was obsessed with questions of fate and chance  these themes weave their way through many of his movies  including decalogue  the double life of veronique  and the triptych of blue  white  and red  however  they are most explicitly examined in a 1981 film called blind chance  where kieslowski presents the three different fates of one man after a minor action  missing or catching a train  changes the course of his life  in his autobiography  kieslowski on kieslowski  the director describes his attraction to the concept this way   the idea is rich and interesting  that every day were faced with a choice which could end our entire life yet of which were completely unaware   while this approach has been the fodder for several notable dramatic films  including  in a way  frank capras its a wonderful life   sliding doors is the first romantic comedy to plumb its depths  the  road not taken  approach isnt just a plot device  either  writerdirector peter howitt expands upon both possible fates of a character after she just missescatches a train  the audience watches  with evergrowing fascination  how this one event impacts upon every aspect of her life  her future career  where she lives  whom she loves  and whether she has a family  as her separate destinies diverge and then reconverge  she becomes two completely different individuals  that woman is helen  played by gwyneth paltrow as a long  dark haired brit  one day  after losing her job as an advertising executive  she decides to return home in the middle of the day  the scene of the pivotal moment is a train platform  in scenario 1  she just slips through the sliding doors before the train pulls out of the station  on board  she meets the cheerful  talkative james  john hannah   a monty python fan who is taken with her beauty  minutes later  in her flat  she walks in on her lover  gerry  john lynch   in bed with another woman  jeanne tripplehorn   in scenario 2  she misses the train and  shortly thereafter  is the victim of an attempted mugging  she doesnt meet james and fails to make it home in time to discover gerrys infidelity  juxtaposed one against the other  while sharing many places  cues  and characters  the two stories proceed in parallel from there  on one level  for viewers who enjoy pondering the workings of fate  sliding doors can be viewed as a deep and wonderful experience  but  for those who just appreciate a romantic comedy characterized by solid acting  a script with a few twists  and a great deal of genuinely funny material  sliding doors still fits the bill  one of its most obvious strengths is that it can satisfy many different types of audiences  those who demand something substantial from their motion pictures  and those who could care less  it shouldnt come as any surprise that the acting  at least from three of the four leads  is solid  paltrow  who does double duty as two helens who are initially the same  yet gradually become much different  is the standout  she plays both of her roles effectively and believably  the shy  insecure woman who stays with gerry and the liberated  platinumblond who severs the ties to her old life and embarks on a new career with a new man  john hannah  known to most american viewers as the younger gay character in four weddings and a funeral  is instantly likable  john lynch  taking a break from movies about irelands troubles  does a good job presenting gerry as a inept  selfish philanderer  only jeanne tripplehorn  who plays an overthetop vixen  seems out of place  her attempts at broad comedy are occasionally jarring  and its occasionally difficult to see her lydia as anything more than a plot element  one member of the supporting cast deserves special notice  douglas mcferran  who plays gerrys best friend  russell  is an absolute delight  stealing every scene that hes in  part of this is surely because he is given the best lines in the movie  on one occasion  he has a marvelous monologue bemoaning how advances in the telecommunications industry have trapped men into a life of monogamy  on another occasion  while laughing at gerrys plight with the women in his life  he comments   being with you makes the wait for the next episode of seinfeld more bearable   but its not all in the dialogue  mcferran tears into this part with relish  his performance becomes one of the most memorable aspects of a topnotch comedy  this is the first feature film for peter howitt  and he approaches the task with unimpeachable aplomb  the script is shrewd and inventive  combining wit  romance  and intelligent melodrama into a crowdpleasing whole  sliding doors grants more than just a good time at the movies  however  for those who are so inclined  its central theme offers an opportunity to ponder some of the more philosophical questions about the workings of the universe  all while having a good time  
pos	three things i learned from  being john malkovich   when getting on the elevator for your first day of work on the 7 12th floor of a building  always bring your crowbar  dont stand in the way of your wifes actualization as a man  and  whenever entering a portal into the mind of another human being  wear old clothes  because  hey  its muddy in there   being john malkovich  is the most original film to come down the pike in a very long time  wildly surrealistic  yet presented in a downtoearth  funky style  this is the kind of movie that sticks in your head  after savoring the sheer inventiveness of the storyline  you roll around the wealth of ideas contained within it  from the ethics of relationships and politics of immortality to the very nature of identity itself  theres a lot to think about here  just dont forget to have fun  clearly  all parties involved in the making of the film certainly did  starting with writer charles kaufman   i wrote being john malkovich without an outline   he explains in the press notes   blindly  with no sense of direction or purpose  its important to me that i dont have a map before i start  this allows me to surprise myself  stay engaged  discover things  and  hopefully  allow the unconscious to surface   spike jonze  mark wahlbergs na  ve buddy in  three kings   takes it from there  the whitehot director of the beastie boys  sabotage   an awardwinning parody of 70s tv cop shows  as well as numerous other music videos and commercials  eschews typical mtv flash for his feature film debut  jonze wisely realized that a storyline this unusual is most effectively presented in a lowkey style  his flat  matteroffact approach works perfectly  and then theres the cast  john cusack plays control freak craig schwartz  a street performer who periodically gets decked by parents objecting to his remarkably expressive  but decidedly erotic puppet shows  over the years  his marriage to obsessive pet store employee lotte  cameron diaz  has devolved  once passionate lovers  the two are now little more than courteous roommates  financially strapped  craig takes a job as an entrylevel file clerk at lestercorp  located on the 7 12th floor of a manhattan building  navigating around dr  lester  orson bean   his 105 yearold boss and floris  mary kay place   lesters dotty secretary  craig tries to settle into his new position  but two things keep him distracted  first  theres the beautiful and imperious maxine  catherine keener   who delights in tormenting craig over his obvious lust for her  and then theres the hole behind the file cabinet  which turns out to be a portal into the mind of actor john malkovich  craig learns that anyone who enters the portal gets whooshed into the subconscious of malkovich  where they can experience life from his point of view  with enough concentration  you can even influence his actions   after 15 minutes  the visitor gets ejected and unceremoniously dumped in a ditch on the side of the new jersey turnpike  then things get a little weird  by the way  if youre concerned that i gave away too much of the plot  rest assured   i barely scratched the surface  one of the most satisfying aspects of the fable is that kaufman is not content to simply milk laughs from his bizarre setup  instead  he crawls into the dark premise as completely as craig crawls into malkovich  rummaging around and toying with the various philosophical implications of compromising another persons identity  he also examines the consequences of the malkovisits to craig  lotte  maxine and  of course  john malkovich himself  the performances are superb  malkovich  best known to mainstream audiences for his work in  dangerous liaisons    in the line of fire   and as head psychopath in the guiltypleasure  con air   tweaks his own image in a dandy selfdeprecating turn  far from his effete  vaguely reptilian persona  this malkovich is just another schlub  drinking with his pals and trying to get laid  incidentally  charlie sheen also plays himself in a hilarious parody of his wellearned bad boy reputation   as always  john cusack nails his part  handily pulling viewers along even as craigs actions become unconscionable  the big surprises come from catherine keener and cameron diaz  both playing against type  kenner  usually cast in icy subordinate roles  is terrific as a highly intelligent  extremely manipulative femme fatale  cameron diaz  barely recognizable under a mess of brown  curly hair  sheds her perpetually sunny smile and draws big laughs as a woman thrown into extreme sexual confusion after taking a ride in malkovich   being john malkovich  stumbles towards the end  as jonze and kaufman try too hard to resolve the various subplots  additional characters and increasingly complex explanations lead to a cluttered finale  regardless  this contemporary  alice in wonderland  is a real treat  i enjoyed watching  being john malkovich   but only later  after reflecting on the film  did its resonance fully hit me  at one point  craig says   do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is   truer words were never spoken  
pos	in my reviews i try to make gentle recommendations rather than telling you what to see or what not to see  i realize that we all have different tastes and i cannot predict what my audience will like and what they will dislike  but in the case of american beauty  i must make an exception  if you havent yet seen it  go see it  now  stop reading this review and head for your local multiplex  then after youve seen it  come back  ill wait here  welcome back  if you followed my advice  and i see no reason why you should not have  do you    im sure youve just had one of the richest cinematic experiences of your life  american beauty is an extraordinary film  a powerful  jolting exploration of the dark side of the american dream  its humorous but it isnt funny because of the unrelenting ominous undercurrent that runs throughout the whole production  mixing comedy and the darkest of drama was the way this film was intended  and by god  it works  making it one of the years very best  lester burnham  kevin spacey  has entered the mother of all midlife crises  he is living life without a purpose  he is bored  depressed and sick of his sheltered  insignificant existence  he barely ever talks to his family  has no sex life  is stuck at a deadend job and thinks he has no reason to live  but one day  when he and his equally troubled wife  annette bening  attend one of his daughters  thora birch  cheerleading performances  he sees something that makes him come alive  what he sees is the performance by his daughters friend  the head cheerleader  he develops a lust for the promiscuous young girl  an obsession which soon becomes pedophilic in nature  but for the first time  lester feels that he is actually living  this crush is only the beginning  lester proceeds to make more and more radical changes in his life  buying the car of his dreams  cursing off the boss and quitting his job   today i quit my job  told the boss to f    himself and blackmailed him for 60  000  would you pass the asparagus please     buying drugs from the voyeurnextdoor  ricky fitts  a teenager who mysteriously videotapes what he considers to be  beauty   and refusing to be docile in family affairs  his new attitude further alienates his daughter  only reassuring her that her parents are nothing more than freaks of nature unjustly forced on her by the powers that be  and inspiring her to enter a relationship with her eccentric neighbor  and the burnhamss neighbors provide american beauty with a significant chunk of its dramatic momentum  ricky fitts  wes bentley  serves as the films thematic center  providing the obscure  powerful meaning of the title  colonel fitts  the father  is one of the most fascinating and complex characters in the movie  even considering his limited screentime  kevin spacey has never been better  and this performance will certainly earn him a chance to put a little gold person on his mantel  he never plays his droll character as a freak  rather  he effectively portrays him as a normal person led to drastic selfexploration by his dissatisfaction with life  spacey is poignant and devastating in the role of a lifetime  equally astonishing is young thora birch  who plays her potentially stereotypical rebellious teen character with suprising feeling and tenderness  at two hours and ten minutes  american beauty didnt feel nearly long enough  its a complicated  unforgettable film that  like the ice storm two years ago  dares to explore the darkest reaches of suburban life  powerfully and cynically  it dissects the notion of the pretty house with the white picket fence and appealing garden being the american dream  it claims that this pictureperfect image is just that  an image  and hiding behind it are lives much darker than common knowledge would have it  the dark  deeply ironic ending  though given away by our narrator in the first few minutes of the movie  stays with you for weeks after its all over  american beauty is just the kind of uncompromising film hollywood needs every now and then to counterbalance the mindless drivel we see released  even more so considering its a masterpiece  
pos	pleasantville  1998  taps into hollywoods lack of integrity with subtle messages that can be easily missed  www  pleasantville  com  april 2  1999  friday  cast  tobey maguire  reese witherspoon  william h  macy  joan allen  j  t  walsh  jeff daniels mpaa rating  pg13 for sexual content and thematic elements genre  drama in my opinion  in short  it takes a lot of careful observation to see the true morals and lessons brought out in this film  one can easily be misled as to what the real message is  review  in a literally colorless world with an almost mechanical population  there is no room for transitioning variety or even the customary happenings of everyday life  such as rain  fire  or emotions  the town of pleasantville has one adjective  pleasant  there is no sadness  no fear  no danger  no discomfort  no love  and no hate  put simply  its a place alanis morissette could really work wonders for  j one big note however is that it is only a 50s sitcom that airs in reruns on an  oldies  tv station  or is it  i had waited months to see this movie and after doing so on opening day i was not disappointed  i found it quite intriguing and delightful and went back 3 more times in the period it endured at the box office  but it wasnt until months later  when i slipped in for a small showing in one of those crummy  dollar theaters  after not having seen it for so long  that my eyes were opened to such a deeper meaning and perspective than i had previously experienced  it is a far too feasible misconception that this is a film which forwards the idea that a world without some  healthy  immorality is not a world at all  instead  the actual message  which so far has not been recognized by many viewers that i know of  is that a world without immorality doesnt give one the ability to discern right and wrong for himself  because everything is automatically right  there is no room for mistakes and growth and learning because there are no mistakes to be made  no space for growth  and never anything new to learn  and that is the key component to the entire purpose of the story  now im not saying thats necessarily the way it was intended to be interpreted  but that is hands down the proper way in which it should be  besides a hidden symbolic depth and themes that go beyond what we can absorb from previews  this film has elements of physical wonder and strength that make it just so great to watch  the visual effects are indeed striking and what little color is revealed is impartially favorable  after spending the bulk of the movie staring at black and white  its hard not to identify and appreciate the fact that our own world allows for all that brilliance and more  a truly intelligent addition to it all  however  is the charming and ardently attainable cast that operates together like clockwork  that said  the plot goes as such  david and jennifer are two very 90s high school twins with the typical  relationship  outline of dontmesswithmylifeandiwontmesswithyours  they demonstrate the wellknown teenage qualities of two of the common versions of adolescents today  david is the shyer  subtler twin who would rather watch tv land than mtv  while jennifer is the wild  licentious one who spends her days at the mall and relishes in the pleasures of the offensive world of degradation  but when a freak accident enchantingly plops them smack dab in the middle of pleasantville as two of the main characters  they are forced to depend on each other to make it back home  nevertheless  jennifer works her magic and introduces the town to a more unrestrained approach to life  and while david frantically tries to stop her and get them back home  he realizes that change was exactly what the town needed  and  as said earlier  not to flip the town around into some corrupt society  but rather to give people the choice to decide between good and bad and to reap the results of their decisions and learn from them  not only were difficult choices being brought upon the town  but the simple accepted occurrences of ordinary existence also began to take place  people got hurt  they cried  they became afraid and happy and thoughtful and started to think for themselves  and thats when their physical world turned colors as well  this can be looked upon as quite a controversial movie  but to me the message is finally clear  i hope after reading this people can be more open to the film than they had been in the past  and realize that without choosing how our own lives will be run  well never know what we could have done better  until the next great movie i see  i remain sincerely  danielle flynn  imr 
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  east meets west in mulan  the latest installment in disneys parade of annual animated feature films  an odd fusion of ancient asian traditions and disconcerting elements which betray obvious massmarket commercial sensibilities  this confident entry is easily the most engaging and satisfying hollywood animated feature in years  but falls short of actualizing its potential  though not for lack of trying  in many respects  mulan is among disneys most mature efforts  skirting the surface of adult themes and daring to sneak glimpses into the messier side of combat  the violence of the battles in the film are admittedly sanitized  the imagery of a pillaged village  neatly encapsulated in the form of a childs discarded doll  is in itself no more harrowing than luke discovering his fallen guardians in star wars  and mulans later heroics in dispatching of the ruthless invaders is done so in the most tidy  bloodless method imaginable  yet how often does a hollywood animated film  long considered as the last safe refuge for the innocent  dare touch upon the consequential horrors of war in such a provocative manner  in an instant  idealistic mulans innocence is lost  and her jovial squadron are reminded of what their efforts are spent defending  the film  based upon an ancient chinese fable  centers on a spirited young woman who disguises herself as a man in order to serve as her familys obligatory conscript when china finds itself under attack by huns  cartoonishly depicted by easy demonic overtones  replete with glowing yellow eyes and daggeredged teeth  although lent a surprisingly genuine sense of menace   dipping into the mythology of other cultures for the first time after cavorting in animated revisitings of familiar western  european fables and literature for decades  disneys new film is boldly set in ancient china rather than relocated elsewhere  story intact  to some neutral territory  and revels in its east asian roots  aside from a predominantly asianamerican cast providing the films vocal work  theres liberal usage of oriental iconography throughout  and the artwork reveal hints of japanese anime influence  while the film does occasionally reach its limits and starts to tread upon old stereotypes  invoking pseudoasian references to items like beancurd and rice in every third sentence grows rather hoary  and i cant imagine that the regiment for ancient chinese warriors  really  included karatechopping blocks of stone in two  its rather remarkable that a movie primarily positioned for american and european audiences delves so wholeheartedly into new foreign territory  the film also freely touches upon cultural idiosyncrasies from its outset  although savvy viewers should easily pick up on the intrinsics immediately  its startlingly assertive in providing as little shorthand as it does to unfamiliar youngsters with regards to the customs and traditions of mulans land  at its core  the film is a tale of heroic adventure  and as such paints its story in bold strokes of honour  perseverance  nobility and courage  as such  animation is the perfect vehicle for this flavour of epic  where stark emotional simplicity is able to effectively work handinhand with visual purity  scenes which would play out as unbearably hokey in live action  such as mulans venerable father pridefully tossing aside his cane when accepting his draft notice  are lent a sense of strength and conveyed with greater emotional clarity in animation  mulan capitalizes on this during its strongest moments  particularly during our heroines characterdefining opening halfhour  its when the film attempts to integrate the traditional mainstays of recent hollywood animation  the friendly animal sidekick  the colourful array of supporting characters  into the mix where it goes slightly awry  off to battle  mulan finds herself being trailed by a jivetalking diminutive dragon called mushu and an agreeable little  lucky  cricket  who ostensibly appear to assist in her subterfuge and realistically serve as audiencefriendly comic relief  theyre affable presences  and not precisely ineffective  reasonable amounts of humour are elicited  and eddie murphy  who voices mushu  is amusingly earnest  but amidst all the high melodrama  the effect is mildly jarring and  from a storytelling perspective  questionable in its necessity  at training camp  mulan antagonizes and eventually wins over a trio of fumbling recruits  easily characterized simply as the short clown  the skinny clown  and the big clown   who provide more levity into the film with decidedly less effectiveness  and  in a familiar retread of traditional disney patterns  she grows a certain fondness for a handsome  squarejawed young captain  shang  everybody needs love  even ancient chinese warrior princesses  but not necessarily in  this  film  the romantic angle  which lets the air out of the sails of the storys neofeminist underpinnings  lacks any genuine spark and plays out like a contractual obligation  another staple of recent disney animated films  a cache of hummable little ditties  has also obligingly been carried over to mulan but proves to be a decided weakness  composed by matthew wilder  none of the handful of tunes are particularly distinguishing  and one   ill make a man out of you   unimaginatively accompanying a tired montage featuring our crew of characters transforming into lean fighting machines   becomes so grating and hackneyed that it seems almost interminable  only  reflections   an early ballad of lament  proves to be a song of any consequence  serving as an effective showcase for lea salonga  one of musical theatres most wondrously pure voices  nonetheless  mulan is an especially appealing piece of work from the disney factory  with a strong narrative arc and pleasant artwork  the computergenerated stampede of hun warriors charging down a snow mountain is wholly impressive  while the blatantly childfriendly elements at times seem incongruous with the remainder of the film  theyre not dissuasive and remain fairly enjoyable  briskly paced with a smart  energetic heroine and filled with high adventure  the film is ultimately most satisfying on the intimate scale of father and daughter  
pos	plot  a bigtime mommas boy cant seem to leave his mothers crib and make good on the babies that he himself has produced in the world  he visits his kids  and their mommas  every now and then  but his main goal in life is    well  he doesnt have any goals  then one day  his mother gets an exgangsta boyfriend and suddenly he isnt as welcome anymore in his own house  it isnt long after that  that his girlfriends start realizing what a jerk he really is and well    its either time to grow up or bow down  critique  first things first  this movie aint about the  hood  at all  its an intelligent film about love  relationships  family  friendship  maturity and growing up  do not avoid this film because you think its about gangbangers and stuff  because it isnt at all  its about you  its about me  its about your girlfriend  your mother  your problems and your inability to face up to your responsibilities and to  well    grow up  this is an extremely wellwritten film  with some of the most developed characters that ive seen on the screen all year  with superb acting performances to match  granted  the film does start a little slow  and go a little long   but hang in there  because once you appreciate and get to know all of its characters  you will be glad that you did  this isnt a kids movie  this is about the step that you need to take in order to pass into full  adulthood  and some might not appreciate the grander theme behind that step  i certainly did  because i too passed  and am passing  through many of these very same things right now  yeah  yeah  i still live with my momma    and related to a lot of the events that went down in this flick  oh yeah  and for the record  im not black but that made absolutely zero difference in this case   but thats not even half the story  you see  the film is damn funny  too    and i mean  damn funny  i was crackin up at almost every other scene  and they werent  setup jokes  like your typical comedies either  just daytoday things that we could all relate to  like the scene in which ving rhames is  drinking koolaid  in the kitchen and his infamously improvised  african squat f   k  scene  which you just gotta see to believe   and there are the performances  too  ving rhames  now heres a man who has already established an early lead in the race for best supporting actor at the end of this year  damn dude  you scared the shit outta me  tyrese gibson  i have no idea where this guy came from  an rb singer and mtv vj  you say    hmmmm    but other than his uncanny resemblance to taye diggs  he nailed this part to the tee  from scene one on  i was glued to his performance and sympathized with his character as he molded and shaped himself into the person that he hoped to become one day  and everyone else  too  gibsons girlfriend in the film  taraji henson  made me a backer with her many subtle touches  all of which helped raise her character several levels above the  typical  bitchie girlfriend that weve seen in many of these relationship movies  but thats the thing that i liked the most about this movie  everyone seemed real  the situations felt authentic  the characters all came across as people like you and me with issues and struggles and hopes and fears  i liked this movie a lot because it was masterfully written  wonderfully acted and genuinely entertaining to watch  and yeah  i even liked the whole homage to boyz n the hood that singleton pulled off in the end  he called this movie a  companion piece  to that film   a very solid followup to an ever greater original  baby boy is a film to be seen by anyone who feels like they never wanna grow up  note  the guy who plays jodys best friend in this movie is omar gooding  cuba gooding jr  s younger brother  cuba starred in 1991s boyz n the hood   wheres joblo coming from  the best man  810   brothers  510   shaft  710   summer of sam  710   whats cooking  710  
pos	it is an understood passion and an understood calm  bud white walks into the home of lynn bracken  a prostitute  cut to look like veronica lake   hes one of l  a  s finest investigating the murder of fellow cop  and one of the leads takes him to her home  its understood that he is quiet thunder  a guy whos calm voice is more powerful than his arms  its understood that shes supposed to be beautiful  but underneath her face is pain and scraped out lines that say her life could have been so much more  you know without having to be told   youre the first guy who hasnt told me i look like veronicca lake in under a minute   she says   you look ten times better   he says it without thinking  like he knows without her having to say anything  whites face doesnt turn  it doesnt blush  you see his eyes  and you believe him  its a perfect moment in a near perfect movie  l  a  confidential is the best movie of the year  it is grace and poetry  a richly layered work of pure entertainment  it is a portrait of police and morality as it works its way through characters that are so real on screen that you believe that they might have a soul  in a phrase  it is everything  it is funny  it is exciting  has enough action and adventure and mystery and grace and suspense  it is the pinnacle of a movie  a complete work  a flawless film  its hard to tell you about the plot  because its about so much more than plot  besides  theres too much to describe  sure  its about police and searching for corruption and who fights for the right reasons and the definition of justice  but its also about what you feel when you look into the eyes of the characters in the film  director curtis hanson has perfectly framed each character  letting you see into them  rooting for them one moment  doubting them the next  the actors work with their lines  but in this movie their most important weapon is their eyes  you can tell what each person is feeling just by looking into their eyes for one moment  russell crowe plays bud white  a muscle cop with a beef for wife beaters  his movements are fierce  when he strikes  you jump  when hes calm  you know it wont be for long  his intensity oozes out of the screen  you follow his character through the movie afraid of him  but in sympathy of him  because you know how good his heart is  hes looking for a way to solve crimes  youre just never sure how hes going to do it  his counter is ed exley  played with a chisselled face by guy pierce  you feel for him  for his character  because of all the cops in the movie hes the one thats actually trying to do the right thing by going by the book  you know that he must face the reality of breaking the book  and you love the way he gets there  ive seen l  a confidential twice  immediately after it was over  i wanted to hit the rewind button and watch it again  i didnt want the theater experience to end  its been a long time since i actually experienced a movie  feeling like i got something after i walked out  thats why i love movies  the great ones can be too rich and powerful to describe  watch l  a  confidential  after you leave the theater  you feel like you just watched a classic movie  thats why la confidential stands as the best movie of the year  l  a  confidential  directed by curtis hanson  starring russell crowe  guy pierce  kevin spacey  james cromwell  and kim basinger  
pos	capsule  bleak and pointblank  just the way it should be  makes its case with coldblooded precision and intelligence   serial killer chic  is a relatively new entry to the cultural vocabulary  and one of the more stomachturning ones  ive never found someone automatically admirable or even interesting because they killed creatively or in great numbers  and because of that i had apprehensions about seeing henry  i wasnt sure i wanted to see the story of multiple murderer henry lee lucas portrayed as some kind of nihilistic heroantihero  thankfully  thats not the way henry works  the director  john mcnaughton  took a small budget and a gallery of actor friends and created a chilling and intelligent piece of work  it doesnt provide cheapjack explanations for henrys behavior  it shows him up for what he is  an unrepentant and unidolizable man who killed when the mood struck him  at the films opening  henrys friend ottis toole has a sister  who comes by to stay while she tries to find work in chicago  in a viciously riveting scene  he admits matteroffactly to having murdered his own mother  and she covers his hand with hers  they are damned together from that moment on  henry and ottis eventually begin to kill for fun  the movie is especially good at showing how they seem to have drifted casually into it  theres a scene where the two go to buy a new tv  the pawnbroker they talk to goads henry with ugly words  and henry responds by stabbing the man to death with a soldering iron  no preface  it smashes into us as suddenly as it does the broker  in a scene which many damned the movie for  unseen  they steal a video camera and film the murder of a whole household  playing it back over and over again for their own enjoyment  the movie itself  however  does not glorify the killings  but shows instead that henry feels no joy at his work  only irritation  henry succeeds thanks to excellent writing and direction as well as acting  michael rooker is credible as henry from the first frame  just standing there  and the rest of the cast works by being unaffected and casual as well  the producers had originally comissioned a slasher film from mcnaughton  but he decided to give them something more memorable  and consequently the film nearly didnt see release  the film does not glorify or justify  it just shows us  with unflinching coldness  what henry was  im hard pressed to see how anyone can see this and consider henry any kind of  victim  or  hero   then again  probably  so would henry  
pos	you dont have to know poker to like  rounders   but it might help  that a great deal of this sharp little drama is set in the back rooms of new yorks cardshark underground astoundingly doesnt limit its accessibility  even for those who cant tell royal and straight flushes apart   rounders   success  then  is owed to its proficient cast and intriguing portrayal of a world not many viewers will be familiar with  the dialogue may be filled with terms that only true players will grasp  but you dont have to speak the language to understand the words  a statement that pretty much sums up the effectiveness of the whole show  matt damon  fresh off his  good will hunting  hot streak  is perfect for the role of mike mcdermott  a young law student with a tremendous gift for gambling  but after losing all of his tuition money in a killer highstakes match with russian poker aficionado teddy kgb  john malkovich  deliciously hammy   he shifts his focus to scholarly matters  leaving his true area of expertise far  far behind  things change  however  when mikes old buddy worm  edward norton  reenters his life  it seems worm  just out of jail  owes a hefty sum to nasty thugs  and is counting on his friends superlative skills to help him pay off the debt  that  rounders   story quickly molds itself into a conventional  predictable tale of redemption doesnt hinder its potency  director john dahl  infamous for his neonoirs  red rock west  and  the last seduction   gets extremely convincing mileage out of the beenthere  donethat plot mechanics by trumping up the relationship between mike and worm  damon and norton bring so much to their roles that theyd be worth catching even if  rounders  ultimately folded  but the movie ups its fascinating ante by contrasting their wildly different ways of winning  any sequence where the two men sit at the table together is an unarguable highlight  if only the other character interaction was as successful   rounders  might merit consideration when it comes time to number the years best films  current  it girl  gretchen mol is sweetly appealing as mikes girlfriend jo  aware and weary of his seedy past  but her scenes with damon number too few to be very effective  john turturros aging mentor and famke janssens tempting siren  both interesting sketches  are hampered by the same limited screen time  and as a wizened judge  the great martin landau makes memorable a role thats mostly a plot device  hes on hand mostly to sortof save the day and provide a voice for  rounders   moral  that moral  by the way  is  our destiny chooses us   and its something of a surprise when  rounders  supports this solemn proverb by eschewing the conclusion you might expect  mike does learn from his mistake  but neither the mistake nor the way he learns from it is what it initially appears to be  in the end   rounders  sees gambling as less a mere addiction than a potential art form  but the poker itself is only a metaphor for a much larger picture  the road to true fulfillment lies within the realization and exercising of your natural passions  the movie espouses  no matter what they might be  here  lowrent lowlifes like worm just arent cut out for the cards  screenwriters david levien and brian koppelman entertain and educate in their quest to vividly render a culture thats often generalized by movies  even complete poker neophytes should cross the line from observers to participants when the movie gets to its concluding game scene  inside every adventurous filmgoer  there is a desire to be taken someplace new and exciting  and thats the precise allure of  rounders   it ultimately matters not that a few of our tour guides feel partiallyrealized or that the journey itself is cluttered with sites weve seen before  because the final destination is a satisfying one  in the end   rounders  holds a winning hand  
pos	melvin van peebles  sweet sweetbacks baadasssss song  was a watershed moment in the history of american cinema and the black movement  it was released less than a decade after the civil rights movement had begun and almost twenty years before the rodney king incident  its violent and highly sexualized revenge tale of a macho black hustler fighting back against white oppression and winning was something that had never been seen on an american movie screen before  in style  content  and how it was conceived and produced   sweet sweetback  was a cinematic revolution  whether or not one agrees with its subject matter  van peebles  a black american who first gained recognition by writing novels in france  built  sweet sweetback  from the ground up almost entirely by himself  because no studio would dare fund such a film  he was forced to raise all the money himself  the movie ended up costing about 500  000  part of which was put up by none other than bill cosby  van peebles cut costs by hiring nonunion labor and taking on most of the films responsibilities himself  he wrote the script  scored the music  edited and directed the film  as well as starred in the central role  he was also a brilliant entrepreneur who always found a way to make an extra buck  for instance  when the mppa slapped the film with a dreaded xrating  van peebles not only threatened to bring a lawsuit against jack valenti and the mpaa  but he also developed a little marketing scheme  he coined the phrases  rated x by an allwhite jury   which he put on the movie posters to help advertise the film  he also printed the phrase on teeshirts which he had no problem selling  the storyline in  sweet sweetback  is deceptively simple  it takes place in los angeles  and van peebles stars as the title character  a tough male hustler of few words who grew up in a brothel  and makes money by doing what he does best  having sex  one day  he agrees to go with a couple of amiable white cops down to the station to make it look like theyre bringing in suspects on a politicallycharged case involving murder  however  on the way to the station the cops arrest a young black revolutionary named mumu  hubert scales   who they proceed to beat viciously  acting out of complete impulse rather than political motivation  sweetback fights back and beats the cops to the brink of death  the rest of the film follows sweetback as he evades the cops on his way to eventual escape in mexico  although the repetition of watching sweetback run gets a little old by the end of the film  this plot allows van peebles camera to roam the darker side of l  a   the ghettos  alleys  and backstreet whorehouses that other films had always overlooked  van peebles entire point in making the movie was to secure on celluloid a vision of the black experience in america that other filmmakers had ignored  at the beginning of  sweet sweetback   he offers this epigraph  which is a traditional prologue used in medieval times when a messenger brought bad news   sire  these lines are not an homage to brutality that the artist has invented  but a hymn from the mouth of reality     van peebles wanted to make sure that his vision was one of reality  not of exaggeration  of course  with todays abundance of rap and hip hop music that sings the same ode to black innercity life  as well as films by spike lee  john singleton  and the hughes brothers   sweet sweetback  doesnt seem all that revolutionary  it is important to remember that this film must be viewed in the context and time period in which it was made  at that time   sweet sweetback  was so controversial that only two theaters in the entire united states would play it  distributors were petrified of a film that  in van peebles words  gave the black audience  a chance to see some of their own fantasies acted out  about rising out of the mud and kicking ass   of course  once it caught on  it caught on big   sweet sweetback  is now considered to be the film that kicked off the blaxploitation era  although van peebles disassociates  sweetback  from other movies like  shaft   1972  and  the mack   1973   because those were financed by big hollywood studios   sweet sweetback  is also the only film deemed mandatory viewing by the black panthers  however  even if when viewed from an africanamerican perspective   sweet sweetback  is certainly not without its controversies  when it was first released  an article was published in  ebony  magazine denouncing the film  while at the same time the black panthers used an entire newsletter to praise it  there have been arguments that the victory for sweetback is really no victory at all  beating cops and then running away to mexico is nothing to be proud of  others have pointed out that sweetback has little to say throughout the film  he has no political motivations  and therefore the violence and havoc he wreaks is not rooted in fundamental beliefs  but in personal and selfish motives  still others point to the clich  black potency that stereotypes sweetback as being good at nothing but having sex  illustrated in a scene where he gains the respect of a white biker group by bringing their female leader to orgasm  nevertheless  a movie like  sweet sweetback  cannot be made without conflicting points of view  it is a revolutionary movie not because its about one mans defiance  but because it put frontandcenter black issues that had never been dealt with before  until that point  american cinema was an almost exclusively white domain  and with the exception of sidney poitier  all black actors were relegated to specifically black roles that were important only in relation to whites  the fact that  sweet sweetback  was a movie by black about blacks  was something new  in the opening credits  van peebles lists the starring actors as simply  the black community    van peebles tells an interesting story that goes a long way toward defining the difference between  sweet sweetback  and all movies that had come before it  when the movie first opened  he saw it in a theater next to an older woman  near the end of the film  when sweetback is wounded by the police and stumbling through the southern california desert  she kept saying to herself   oh lord  let him die  dont let them kill him  let him die on his own   it was so ingrained in her mind that death was imminent for any africanamerican in a movie who rebelled against white authority  that she couldnt even conceive of the possibility that the film might end with his successful escape  and  of course  sweetback does escape  and the screen fills with the message   watch out  a baad asssss nigger is coming back to collect some dues   beyond the political aspects   sweet sweetback  is an entertaining picture  which van peebles always intended it to be  he squeezed every drop out of his limited budget  and produced a film that  although dated now  was technically fantastic at the time  he shot in rough  documentarylike fashion  while also utilizing almost every visual and aural trick his technology would allow him  he makes good use of older techniques like split screens  freeze frames  reversed color schemes  and overlapping images  the only time the film ever looks bad is during the night sequences  because van peebles simply did not have the needed equipment  watching  sweet sweetback  more than twentyfive years after its initial release  one realizes that it still has bite  arguments can be made that race relations in the united states have made quantum leaps since the early seventies  but there are still problems that are reflected in this film  but there is more to the film than its racial aspect  the legacy of  sweet sweetbacks baadasssss song  is not only the plentiful amount of art and music told from the africanamerican perspective  but more importantly  the work of every artist who has fought to fund and produce that which is important to him  
pos	there seem to be two reactions to dark city  you either love it or you are unimpressed  count me as a  love it   as good as the crow and spawn are  dark city is better  where the former two have a specific comicbook following  the latter is an original work with the potential for broader appeal  it has a similar look to the others  but dark city is much more thoughtful and much less violent  not clever or complex  the story is still fascinating  like a selection from the twilight zone  a man  rufus sewell  is awakened in his bathtub by a man with a syringe  surprised  the attacker runs off  the dazed man gets out of the tub and finds a womans body in the room  a mysterious caller warns him to leave the apartment immediately  so he packs some clothes and leaves  never sure why hes leaving or what hes fleeing  ghoulish figures in long coats recognize the man and chase him through the dark city  hounding him like figures in a nightmare  an odd blast of willpower allows the man to dream himself free from his pursuers long enough to check his i  d  the amnesiac learns that he is not dreaming and that his name is john murdoch  now if only he could remember the rest of his life     dark city is good on many levels  first  the look of the movie is excellent  give credit to production designers george liddle and patrick tatopolous for creating a coherent look from diverse elements  there are visual elements from the american 1920s60s  mixed with dickensera urban industrial elements  it is all pulled together in a sad  dark look reminiscent of the diner in edward hoppers painting  nighthawks  proyas use of models gives an appropriately eerie unreality to the films world  for not only does the audience see the city a model  but so do the ghouls   the look is like a cross between tim burtons batman and the bleak animation of the brothers quay  second  the editing of the film is good  the pacing is on track  and the plot is revealed  the  amnesia  explained  in satisfying increments  also  the stylized editing within each scene gives the movie a tense  caffeinated look  third  the special effects are well used  they look good  but more importantly  the right effects are used for the right job  one example stands out in my mind  the coated figures who haunt the city can attack telekinetically  a simple ripple effect is used  a more showy effect could have been chosen  but then it would have just been gratuitous  restraint was shown where necessary  letting the more critical effects look more impressive  finally  like gattaca  dark city spends a just a little effort striving for mythical significance  unlike gattaca  the story is just openended and nonliteral enough to be successful  john murdochs recovery from amnesia is tied to the passing of the night  and the hopeful coming of the dawn  his struggle with amnesia is both figuratively and literally the struggle of all mankind  at least in his world   when we finally see the big picture of the movies world  it is as mysterious as the iroquois image of the world being carried on the back of a giant turtle  a few minor flaws keep me from giving this movie the same perfect score roger ebert gave  but i do strongly recommend it  for its look  its pace  its story  and its timelessness  
pos	for the first reel of girls town  you just cant get over lili taylor  is it possible to remain unperturbed that a woman of this age is playing a high school student  harder still  can you avoid astonishment at how perfect she is in the part  with the sure  showy expertise of a de niro  taylor imbues unwed mother patti with all the faux fuckyou confidence she can muster  its a deeply felt  deadon performance  and by the halfway point youve forgiven taylor her own maturity  for all its verite pretenses  girls town is less about a bunch of highschoolers than it is about a movie director and a cadre of writerperformers examining their own feelings about rape  relationships  and american womanhood  the movies opening scenes sketch an easy friendship between a group of four smartsassy high school outsiders on the verge of graduation  patti  angela  bruklin harris   emma  anna grace   and nikki  aunjanue ellis   but about 10 minutes into the film  we get word that nikki has swallowed a fistful of pills and bowed out of life  the remaining girls manage to smug nikkis diary out of her grieving mothers home  and page through it at pattis place  investigating the root of nikkis despair  what they find is cruel and galvanizing  nikki had been raped by an editor at a newspaper where she interned  and was privately questioning the sanity and value of a world where such a thing could happen  shellshocked by the truth of the matter  the three girls begin to talk among themselves and come to a realization about their own lives  emma says she was raped last year on a date with a football player  pattis barely sympathetic  wondering what the hell emma thought she was doing with her shirt off in a jocks car  and anyway  pattis had her own share of guys who wouldnt take no for an answer  pained  acrimonious debate ensues as the trio grow more and more angry  angry about the impossibility of saying no  and angry with themselves for being weak  for being naive  for putting up with it   why do we put up with it   emma finally asks  once the argument has reached a fever pitch   we try to talk about it  and look what happens  we fight for 20 minutes   theres the admirable crux of this picture  girls town is a political film  in that it calls for action  but its incompleteits never quite sure how to justify that action  or what form it should take  the trio become crusaders for their right to dignity  and its surely one of this years most stirring movie moments when emma lobs a concrete block through the passengerside window of that damn jocks car  doing the right thing    they hang out in the bathroom  chatting incessantly and scrawling slogans and naming names on the door to a toilet stall   subvert the patriarchy   emma writes  and then starts a hall of shame list underneath that other students begin to contribute to  the girls silence their hecklers  take revenge on the deadbeat father of pattis child  and eventually come facetoface with nikkis tormentor  still  the movie has a desperately unfinished quality  and none of these subsequent exploits is particularly satisfying   you keep waiting for someone to call the cops on these brazen girls  but nobody thinks of it   perhaps searching for a resolution missing from the material at hand  the film borrows its epigraphs from audre lorde and queen latifah   who you callin a bitch     the points are well taken  but they should have been unnecessary  long on characterization but a little short on story  girls town is less than it could have been  and too selfcongratulatory for my own taste  director jim mckay is best known as a consort of r  e  m  s michael stipe  he directed the nearly unwatchable tourfilm for that band   and girls town is his first foray into feature filmmaking  the movie was created and scripted by committee  but mckay and his lead performers had to shoot on a shoestring when  predictably  the group couldnt secure funding  then again  girls town on a budget would hardly be the same film  the movies slapdash quality is key to its significance  truth be told  all three of the leads look too wise for high school  but thats ok  theres a onceremoved quality to their fine  spontaneous performances  as the women take a very skillful look back at the girls they once were  the girls they wish they had been  or some combination  for all its flaws  this one gets extra points for having its uncertain head and heart in the same noble place  
pos	 the fighting sullivans  contains a major plot development in the last ten minutes that every movie guide has seen fit to give away  there was no dramatic tension for me while watching the film  as i knew exactly what was going to happen  and thats the worst thing that can happen before viewing a movie  because of this  i will tread lightly so i dont ruin it for anyone reading this review  and it would be very advisable to avoid all other material regarding this film until after you have seen it   the fighting sullivans  revolves around a family that consists of a mother  father  sister  and five brothers  the brothers are very close  despite the occasional disagreement  they are inseperable  and never stray from one another  their friendship and loyalty is the foundation of this picture  the first half of the movie follows the brothers as young children  and their various adventures  when four of them get into a fight with some local boys  the youngest sullivan  who is inside a church at the time  comes running out to assist  but not before properly exiting the chapel  if im being awfully vague about details  its because what i have told you is essentially the first hour and a half  all i can say is go watch this film  because it is a fine portrait of a family that sticks together  through the good and the bad  and after you see the movie  you will understand why this review has been written the way it has  
pos	big courtroom thrillers have always captivated america  o  j  simpson  tom capano  the menendez brothers  all these names are synonymous to americans and courtrooms  and  of course  courtroom dramas are not a new topic to hollywood  whether it be john grishams thrilling novels or televisions famous dramas  the courtroom has always provided big bucks  so when i rented a civil action  i was expecting the film to be like the rainmaker  a brilliant law film that kept viewers on the edge of their seat  however  what i saw in a civil action was far different from what i expected  a major surprise  but fortunately  a pleasant one  john travolta always seems to come up big when you least expect it  no one expected him to light up the screen in grease  nor in saturday night fever  but  whenever he gets knocked down  he always seems to come back fighting  a civil action is not johns best performance  but a strong one that could rival any performance in 1998  travolta proves that a normal and believable performance can vault a film into oscar nominations  his performance is not flashy  nor memorable  just solid  if he delivered the only solid performance  this film would still be average  luckily  he has a strong supporting cast  william h  macy is probably one of the most underrated actors in hollywood  he continues to deliver great performances one after the other  but he is still regarded as a secondary actor  in a civil action  he delivers yet another great performance as travoltas paranoid and greedy accountant  he is not a lovable character  but a character who stands out in your mind whenever you think of the film  he is not one of the big time lawyers  just a measly accountant  but  he delivers one of the best supporting roles of 1998  but there is actually someone better in a civil action  robert duvall is also an underrated actor  he gets many leading roles  but is never heard when you hear of big box office draws like tom hanks  brad pitt and jim carrey  duvall has a supporting role in this as a lawyer of the codefendant  duvall is magical in this role  he is the wise teacher  who not only battles it out in the courtroom  but also manages to teach every major player a lesson  in his own twisted way  in many noncomedic films  directors are always trying to find a way to implement a touch of comedy  to keep the audience on their toes  unfortunately  they usually just key in on one character whose main objective is to be funny  jarjar binks  anyone    however  this usually backfires because the character is never fully developed  this is not the case in a civil action  they have comedy coming from all sides  whether it be duvalls inane questions or macys sharp anger  the laughs come in a steady pace  granted  its not roll in the aisle funny  but it provides a nice addition to the film  the plot is terrific somewhat  the setup is nice with the film actually starting with a victory in the courtroom  then the case that will make or break jan  travolta  s career rears its ugly head  they find out the goldmine involved with the case and wind up taking it  however  budgets soon flounder and jan finds himself in deep debt  i will not spoil the rest  although i must speak of the one downside to the film  the courtroom debates are great  but the actual problem they are fighting for is never fully explored  it left me somewhat confused  although the rest of the film is terrific  all in all  john travolta is back yet again in this great film  his supporting cast  consisting of macy and duvall  turn in tremendous performances  which ease the load on travolta  the film is smart  witty and thought provoking  not only does it gauge incourt battles  but also the various tolls it can take on the major players  a civil action provides everything a drama lover craves  
pos	time bandits  from director terry gilliam  is a very different fantasy actionadventure movie about a group of timetraveling dwarves  led by randall  david rappaport   who have stolen a map of the universe  this map contains time hole  that  if exploited  enable the men to travel back and forth through time  the supreme being of the universe  ralph richardson  is the former employer of these treasureseeking bandits  and he wishes desperately to regain the map   during the travels  he appears as a ghostly face  demanding that they return the map that they have stolen  but  according to randall  they are just  borrowing  it  kevin  a young boy who seems quite bored with his life  is unexpectedly brought into the schemes of the little men when they appear in his room  which has a portal for time traveling  he joins up with the men and becomes part of their gang  following them on their robberies  their first victim is napoleon  ian holm   whom they rob during a battle that he is commanding  from here  the group travels to the middle ages  meeting up with robin hood himself  eventually  kevin is separated from the group and travels to an egyptian time where he is taken in by king agamemnon  played by sean connery  kevin accidentally saved the kings life  and the king wishes to have kevin as his son  but the group of bandits find kevin and transport onto the deck of the titanic  meanwhile  the evil genius  david warner  is watching the group from fortress of ultimate darkness  attempting to find a way in order to bring the men  and the map  to him  when randall learns of the fortress of ultimate darkness  which supposedly contains  the most fabulous object in the world   the dollar signs seemingly appear on his eyes  as he is convinced that they must travel there  once inside the fortress of ultimate darkness  it is unclear as to if any of the men will make it out alive  time bandits is a fantastically made film that caters to the imagination of anyone  with a terrific soundtrack  courtesy of george harrison  whom also was an executive producer  time bandits is sure to be a very surrealistic  timetraveling adventure with unforgettable characters that is sure to entertain anyone  terry gilliam  however  does not utilize that greatly his trademark ability in moviemaking during this film  although this does not affect the film that greatly  and finally  if you liked labyrinth  youll love time bandits  
pos	it seemed wholly appropriate that at a weekend screening of  the horse whisperer   the start of the film was delayed some twenty minutes due to  projection difficulties   robert redfords film version of nicholas evans bestselling novel was supposed to have been in theaters last december  going headtohead with  titanic   but is only now making its much anticipated debut  this  strategic   delay has allowed  the horse whisperer  to compete  sans fanfare  against some smaller  unassuming movies during a relatively slower time at the box office  no matter  redfords film stands head and shoulders above james camerons oceangoing tragedy  especially in the writing and acting departments  whatever the reasons for its postponement   the horse whisperer  supports the old adage  better late than never   redford has taken evans book and given it the big screen treatment  while parts of  the horse whisperer  are epic in scope and vision  especially the aerial  travelogue  that maps out this great country of ours  its real strength lies in the subtleties it uses to paint the fragile alliance between man and beast  when her daughter  grace  is involved in a terrible riding accident  harddriven fashion editor annie maclean  kristin scott thomas  devotes herself to rehabilitating both grace and graces beloved horse  pilgrim  refusing to have the hideously disfigured animal put down  annie researches every possible source of information about equine cures before discovering an article about a faithhealing cowboy of sorts called tom booker  redford   who has a way with horses and  perhaps  with people too  undeterred by toms initial reluctance to get involved  annie drives grace and a sedated pilgrim across country to meet him  and finally persuades tom to work with the uncontrollable animal  redfords film unfolds slowly and lovingly  echoing the patience required in healing both physical and psychological wounds  the films a little long and  even if you havent read the book  its pretty obvious where its headingbut these are minor complaints  redford and thomas are strong and convincing as the couple drawn by a mutual affection for the great outdoors and each other  but its scarlett johansson as grace who shines in a more difficult role  dianne wiest  chris cooper   lone star    and sam neillbetter than ive seen him beforeround out the respectable supporting cast  and the directors respect for horses is clearly in evidence  one word of warning  however  while brilliantly shot  the accident scene  involving an outofcontrol truck  is extremely disturbing  redfords canvas is huge and exquisite  he doesnt hesitate to incorporate vast  sprawling vistas of the american northwest  spectacular  snowcapped mountain ranges  azure skies  and shimmering fields of wheatall are resplendent in cinematographer robert richardsons viewfinder  veteran english composer john barry was originally signed to score the film but left the project which is a pity  since  the horse whisperer  is  dances with wolves  by way of  out of africa   oscar winners both for barry   fortunately  barrys replacement  thomas newman  contributes a fine score that nicely balances the majesty of montana with the delicate  human conditionssonorous  stringladen passages that swell with pride playing counterpoint to more poetic  introspective movements ripe with nuance   the horse whisperer  is that rare kind of movie  it looks good  it feels good  and by golly it does you good  the wait  it turns out  was well worth it  
pos	charlie sheen stars as zane  a radio astronomer who listens for sounds from other lifeforms  when he finally gets one  his boss destroys the tape and fires him  naturally  zane is not ready to give up  and he comes up with an ingenious way to do this himself  he is aided by a young neighborhood kid and they discover that the sound is coming from mexico  so zane goes down there to investigate  and runs into a lady studying why the temperature of the earth has dangerously risen so suddenly  zane is having marital problems at the time  and an offer by her to spend the night with him is very tempting  hearing charlie sheen deliver the line   i guess there is something to be said for celibacy  is the funniest thing i have ever heard in a movie since matthew broderick discussed asexual reproduction in wargames  this is just the setup  and i dont want to give too much away  because a large part of the movies fun is the surprises  charlie sheen  who has had a rocky career as of late  is in top form here  he is funny  serious  and determined to accomplish his goal  sheens absolutely terrific performance is another big plus to this movie  the story is ingeniously devised by twohy  who also wrote and directed the equally clever cable movie grand tour  disaster in time  the films major flaw is a very slow pace  and not much happens in the earlygoings  viewers may be growing restless for a while  but trust me if you stick around and keep your head in it  you will have a good time  
pos	field of dreams almost defies description  although its about baseball  its not a baseball movie  although the film is extremely spiritual  its not about religion  and although field of dreams is melodramatic  its not a tearjerker  to really understand what field of dreams is all about  you have to see it  in the film  kevin costner plays ray kinsella  a baseball fan  60s berkeley graduate  and iowa farmer  one day as he is standing in the middle of his expansive corn fields  ray hears a voice  it tells him   if you build it  he will come   then ray has a vision and somehow concludes that if he builds a baseball field in the middle of his corn  shoeless joe jackson will arise from the dead to play ball once again  and even though it depletes his familys savings and his neighbors think hes crazy  ray clears away the corn and builds a baseball field  complete with bleachers and flood lights   if you build it  he will come   and lo and behold  shoeless joe does comebringing with him several of his dead teammates  and then ray hears the voice again  it tells him to  ease his pain   ray thinks this means that he must travel to boston to meet terence mann  an influential and radical novelist from the 60s who has since stopped writing and dropped out of society  with great aplomb  james earl jones plays the disillusioned author who joins forces with ray and embarks with him on a magical and spiritual journey  the cast in field of dreams is excellent  especially kevin costner in the lead role  costner gives a quiet  subtle  and moving performance as a man who before building the baseball field had done nothing crazy or spontaneous in his entire life  costner gives ray just the right mix of enthusiasm and idealism to make us believe in his mystic visions and swallow this wondrous fairy tale  amy madigan gives a fine supporting performance as rays feisty and loving wife  who against her better judgement supports her husbands crazy ideas  in her most impressive scene  madigan vehemently argues against book burning at a p  t  a  meeting  displaying the sincere passion of a 60s berkeley radical  ray liotta is appropriately eerie and aweinspiring as the ghost of shoeless joe  the legendary batter who was suspended from baseball for his involvement in the 1919 chicago  black sox  scandal  and finally  burt lancaster is memorable in a small  but important  role as a small town doctor whose professional baseball career was limited to only one inning  field of dreams is a touching fairy tale full of life  wonder  mystery  spirit  and humor  it  for the most part  succeeds in capturing our emotions and suspending our disbelief  ray kinsellas spiritual quest in pursuit of his dreams proves to be moving and miraculous  but while field of dreams generally avoids excessive melodrama  it unfortunately does at times go overboard  and by the end it gets downright sappy  in general  however  field of dreams is an emotionally satisfying fantasyone i can recommend to everyone but unromantic cynics  
pos	making a sequel to a widely beloved film is a weighty proposition indeed  especially when the first film is considered by many to be a masterpiece  when it comes to living up to expectations  a filmmaker is almost doomed to some degree of failure  for a sequel to live up to or even surpass the originals greatness is very rare indeed  and whereas  babe  pig in the city  misses equaling the greatness of its best picture nominated predecessor babe  it is a worthy companion piece  more than that  it is a spectacular work of art that deserves to stand alone in its own right   babe  pig in the city  warrants the classification of being recognized with such classics like  the godfather  part ii  and  the empire strikes back  as being one of the greatest sequels ever produced   babe  pig in the city  picks up precisely where  babe  left off  having won the sheep herding competition  farmer hoggett  james cromwell  and his pig are elevated to fame status  a series of unfortunate circumstances and hilariously freakish events leads to mrs  hoggett taking babe from the small country farm into the big city  in doing so  the film transports us into a wonderfully imaginative world that simultaneously mirrors and exceeds the creative design seen in the original   babe  pig in the city  flourishes where so many sequels fail  most sequels simply rehash the events of the first film  not  babe  pig in the city   this is a completely original tale that offers up a story drastically different than the first  also  by not being content to utilize most of the old characters  this film gives us many new ones to enjoy  in essence  it doesnt attempt to copy itself  instead  it strives to achieve an originality of its own  and it succeeds  thats not to say the familiar is absent   babe  pig in the city  retains some of the best core elements and characters from the first film  along with babe himself  ferdinand the duck comes along for the ride  as does mrs  hoggett  one of this decades best and most underappreciated comic characterizations  hilariously performed by magda szubanski   the three singing mice also make the journey  chiming in with their cute highpitched vocals  the story structure is also similar as each segment is introduced with title cards read by the aforementioned mice  from there  we are guided once again by roscoe lee brownes soothingly deep narrative  composer nigel westlake also returns with his whimsical music style that is perfect for cinematic fables such as these  but these elements are simply the frame that surrounds an entirely new painting  while staying at the flealands hotel  babe encounters a veritable arkfull of new animals  monkeys  kittens  and dogs of various breeds and sizes are some of the new  urbanites  that babe befriends  as well as some wonderfully comical pelicans that ferdinand the duck happens to encounter  each character is distinctly unique  some of which are imbued with personal humanlike struggles that are endearing and touching  and while this world focuses largely on these animals  we are introduced to two new human characters as well  mary stein plays the owner of the flealands hotel  an animalloving young spinster who harbors these lost creatures much to the dismaying anger of her fellow neighbors  steins landlady is a wonderfully odd caricature  we also meet fugly floom  an old softspoken clown who owns many of the animals in the flealands hotel  utilizing them as a part of the act that he performs at different parties and functions  not having known who portrayed fugly floom prior to seeing the film  it came as an unexpected pleasant surprise to see who it was  so as not to ruin this wellkept secret  i wont reveal the actors identity here  it was a treat indeed to see one of cinemas legends grace the screen again in what was a superbly gentle and heartwarming performance  the greatest triumph of  babe  pig in the city  is the art direction  simply putit bleeds creativity  taking the look of the original film to a whole new level  restricted primarily to a farm the first time around  this second installment creates an entire city  dazzling us with unique fablelike architecture  but the stroke of pure genius by production designer roger ford is his use of our worlds architectural landmarks  designing a skyline that includes the statue of liberty  the sydney opera house  the brooklyn bridge  the hollywood sign and the eiffel tower  ford has created a singular city that encompasses all of our cities  as seen in the film photo and preproduction drawing to your right   added to that  many of this citys streets are the twin siblings of venices gondolatrekked rivers  the metropolis that has sprung from fords vision is a wondrous sight to behold  it is a world that you want to walk around in  norma moriceaus costume designs belong in this world  vibrant in color and style equal to that of the fords landscape  most of the costumes are imaginatively cartoonish  with the most exotically grand design going to that of fugly flooms clown outfit  andrew lesnies photography captures these elements with various lighting moods that are beautifully effective in creating the films multiple emotional tones  much press fodder has been made over the weeks leading up to the release of  babe  pig in the city   reports stated that its original cut was branded with a pg13 rating  these reports were discovered to be false as it was assigned a pg rating  but even so  to be anything harsher than the original s g rating had many parents and fans up in arms  by deleting a minimal number of shots   babe  pig in the city  was eventually given the coveted g rating  although appeased  many fans were still concerned that it would be too dark  fearing that the film may have come to be possessed by tim burton himself  well  to coin a phrase  the reports of  babe  pig in the city  s death at the hands of a dark  scary  felliniesque interpretation have been greatly exaggerated  granted it has its moments of pseudomorbidity  but allinall  babe  pig in the city  is the funny and charming adventure that everyone was hoping it would be  whatever  dark  moments it may have can be attributed to director george miller  the  mad max  trilogy   the witches of eastwick    lorenzos oil    having served as a producer and cowriter on the first film  miller moves into the directors chair for this one  putting his own unique sense of style into this budding franchise  the story of  babe  pig in the city  is an enchanting yarn  but one that doesnt achieve the emotional or character depth of the original  missing here is the attempt to broach such heady themes as personal identity  an individuals worth  challenging conformity  and ones purpose in life   babe  dealt with this weighty subject matter  creating a timeless fable   babe  pig in the city  should not have rehashed these themes  but i do wish it would have attempted to explore new ones  this film is not bereft of moral or message as it parallels such issues as urban strife  class differences  sacrificial courage  and so on  but this films goals arent as lofty as the firsts  instead choosing to take a more straightforward approach  allowing its themes to take a back seat to an exciting  sometimes intense  fable adventure that is undeniably clever and inventive   babe  pig in the city  also decides against developing a relationship to the level of which was present in the first film  specifically the one between farmer hoggett and babe  hoggetts love for babe  which grew ever so gently  is what gave that film its charming and endearing quality  best exemplified in hoggetts dance for babe  this moving relationship was truly unique  it is something that i wish would have been present again  and could have through fugly floom   but was not  please understand  these are not negative criticisms  per se  but simply statements of what i see as the differences between  babe  pig in the city  being a very good film and the original being a great one  but having said that  these observations are minor critiques at best  as an overall piece   babe  pig in the city  is a thoroughly enchanting and entertaining fable from beginning to end  sure  it isnt a great film  but it is an excellent one that possesses elements of greatness  it is a film that is magical with its charm and humor  exciting in its adventurous exploits  funny with its dry wit and cute voices  and breathtaking in its presentation   babe  pig in the city  may not be moviemaking at its absolute best  but it is on level of cinematic quality that is rarely achieved or seen in cinema  as a result  if you choose to let this film pass you by  you will be missing of the years best cinematic treats  
pos	let me first say that the conditions that i was forced to watch the matrix under were less than ideal  so i have tried to be as fair as possible considering that my viewing experience was significantly less than ideal  i watched the matrix in a theater that is in serious need of upgrades at the best of times  under no circumstances  should it have ever been allowed to show a big budget special effects laden film like the matrix  this theater  owned by the parent company of one of hollywoods biggest studios  hasnt even graduated into stereo sound yet  the mono sound that the audience was subjected to sounded as if it was coming out of a speaker that was many years past mandatory retirement age  in other words  the sound sucked  as someone used to digital sound in a movie theater  bad sound doesnt do anything to add to a film  im not even going to go into the horrible splicing job that the projectionist did putting this film together  there  ive had my rant  now on with the regularly scheduled review  which sadly wont include commentary on the films sound which im assuming was spectacular  but im just guessing  my guess on the sound seems like a fairly solid one considering the visual quality of the matrix  it is nothing short of stunning visually  sadly  the rest of the film  while pretty good  doesnt quite measure up to the obvious effort that was expended on making this film look so darn good  the matrix has at its core a good concept  although it strays into the confusing side more often than i would have liked  keanu reeves plays a computer hacker who is drawn into the frightening realization that reality is just a hoax  it turns out that that many years ago the world was devastated by some sort of disaster  now machines run the planet and humans spend their lives in a sort of incubator  plugged into a computer network  the computers are generating a virtual reality world which is a representation of the earth before it was destroyed  the population of the planet never realizes that their entire life is a hoax and that they really spend their entire lives as comatose  that is except a small band who have discovered this horrible secret and have escaped their virtual prisons  they now spend their lives combating the computers in an effort to expose this lie  reeves character  neo  is recruited by this band of rebels led by morpheus  laurence fishburne   newcomer carrieanne moss and one of hollywoods most underrated actors  joe pantoliano  join fishburne in the band of freedomfighters  the action sequences are nothing short of spectacular  this can be attributed as much to the amazing special effects as to many of the actors extensive preproduction training in martial arts  this lends itself to some of the best martial arts sequences that you are ever likely to see in a film  when you add this to some of the wild effects in the computer generated world  it all adds up to an eyeful  as i already said  the visuals far outpace the rest of the film  acting in the matrix is not bad  but it certainly isnt real good either  keanu reeves gives his usual fairly emotionless performances  although to his credit  it is one of his better performances  laurence fishburne on the other hand often seemed to forget that he was in a scifi action film  more than a few times he delivered his lines as if he thought he was performing in some sort of shakespearean drama  joe pantoliano was a little under used in this film but he made the most with what he had  carrieanne moss turned out a surprisingly good performance for this her first feature film role  its nice to see that she was cast as much for her talent as for her breathtaking looks  you have to give all of the main actors a healthy dose of credit for the work that they obviously put into the physical training for their roles in this film  it was clear that no small effort went into getting the moves down perfectly for the fighting sequences  i also put much of the blame for the somewhat strained performances in the matrix on the dialogue  which was terrible at times  in more than a few places it got way too existential for my liking and at other times it was just plain weird  it almost seems as though the writers were having a difficult time trying to figure out how to explain the concept for the movie  so they decided to make the dialogue as obtuse as possible so that no one could figure out what the heck they were talking about  thereby covering up any leaps of faith that they may have had to make in the departments of logic and believability  my other major complaint with the matrix was with the very unsatisfying ending  the setup for it was hokey and frankly used in many a bad film before  the ending itself was just plain strange  the main reasons to recommend the matrix are the visual effects and computer animation which make this a real treat to watch  while the rest of the film  acting  dialogue and to a degree plot  detract from the high production values  they dont detract enough to prevent me from recommending the matrix as a fun way to spend an evening  
pos	alchemy is steeped in shades of blue  kieslowskis blue  that is  with its examination of death  isolation  character restoration  and recovery from loss  suzanne myers new independent film echoes the polish directors internationallyacclaimed 1993 release  language aside  the principal difference between the films is that  while kieslowski took great pains to draw us into the main characters world  alchemy keeps its viewers at arms length  as a result  while were able to appreciate the films intellectual tapestry  it is emotionally distant  alchemy is divided into three chapters   charity    faith   and  hope   while there are common themes and story elements running through all three  the single constant is the main character  a sculptorrussian translator named louisa  rya kihlstedt   when the film opens  shes living with her painter boyfriend  whom she believes to be cheating on her  following his sudden death in an automobile accident  louisas life is thrown into turmoil  events swirls around her  and she cant find a source of stability  in her quest to make sense out of her loss  she befriends her late boyfriends mistress  visits her ill sister  and  eventually  abandons her old life by joining a  backto nature  cult  alchemy successfully explores a variety of compelling issues  in addition to asking the basic question of how a person should cope with the unexpected death of a loved one  it probes beneath the surface of concepts like the importance of faith in the healing process  the meaning of love  and the nature of art  does personality restoration come through interacting with others or escaping from the familiar  are artistic epiphanies the result of focused solitude or of living life  with all of its various distractions  to the fullest  myers challenge is to make these subjects  art film staples  engrossing in a new context  through louisas struggles  she succeeds  while alchemy isnt always emotionally appealing  it never loses its fascination  even when were not connecting with louisa  who is often more of a locus for ideas than a fullydeveloped personality  theres enough material onscreen to hold our attention  the cinematography is stunning  city scenes are tinted with blue  adding a cold  bleak dimension to the films early portions  later  when louisa reaches the  wilderness   were treated to a dazzling array of autumnal splendor  brightlycolored leaves in the trees and on the ground  its a startlingbuteffective visual contrast that emphasizes the changes taking place in louisas life as she travels the road back to emotional stability  the title refers to the practice of a group of mystical faith healers who use  alchemy  to provide for the needs of the body and soul  and  although louisa partakes of their peculiar brand of medicine  its ultimately love and companionship  not alchemy  that brings solace  her pain is assuaged only when she lets go of the belief that the inherent safety of being alone is lifes ultimate goal  even though louisas final transformation lacks the impact it could have possessed had she been a more vital character  its still an intriguing and enlightening process to watch  alchemy isnt pure magic  but  especially during its best moments  its close  
pos	who would have thought  jim carrey does drama  when i first saw the advertisement for the truman show  i thought   what a hilarious idea for a movie   however  it was an even better premise for a drama  the truman show takes us into a world that revolves around one man  that man is truman burbank  jim carrey   truman has no clue what is really going on in his world and frankly  cristof wants to keep it that way  christof is the  god  of this madeup world  he keeps everything running and gives the actors their roles  there were a few attempts to tell truman about his world  but they failed and life went on as normal  the opening parts of the film introduce to trumans world  we see what he is doing at his current age  then we get a flashback at his past  it may seem a tad boring  but it is so intriguing that you will fall in love with the film right from the start  the film can be described in one word  weird  it seems like such a simple idea  yet it is something that a majority of us would never think of  but andrew niccol did  it seems like a warped idea  but it is andrews idea and he did wonders with it  jim carrey actually lived up to the hype  the hype  whether good or bad  always focused on carreys ability to do drama  no one doubted how extraordinary this film could be  the only thing they doubted was carrey  and he showed them all up  jim carrey was snubbed at the oscars  i do not think he was the best actor  but he deserved the nomination  he plays truman burbank  the unsuspecting star of the most popular television show in the world  he has lived a normal life for almost thirty years  but then strange things start happening  he ventures into the wrong elevator  a light crashes in front of him  his father comes back and is then pulled away  we are constantly teased with all of this and we know it is a show  but truman does not  and it is just a constant progression that never gets sluggish  carrey is able to shed his comedy to play a major role in a major drama  laura linney is magnificent as the camera hungry wife  she plays her role as advertiser and budding star to a point  peter weir does not make the cast perfect  and their flaws eventually lead to trumans escape  the story unfolds until the show becomes too big and everything crashes down  despite carreys greatness  the best performance in the truman show undoubtedly is turned in by ed harris  who plays the  god  of trumans world  he displays the pressure he is under  the world he has created  he becomes so paranoid that he believes he is a god and that truman has him to thank for his sham of a life  the action moves at a good pace  and rarely gets sluggish  but  the main point of the film is how it looks like a television show  it really makes you think  maybe your brother is an actor  maybe your best friend is in heated contract negotiations to stay on the show  some of the best parts of the film are when truman ventures into the wrong elevator and sees cast members drinking coffee and talking  or when truman tunes into the wrong station and hears orders being said for trumans arrival  and when christof focuses in on truman and cues the dramatic music as marlon  noah emmerich  delivers his dramatic line  all of these ideas are just perfect for the film and extremely innovative  i was not only enjoying the film  i was overwhelmed by genius of it  overall  the truman show is one of the freshest and innovative films to come out of hollywood  jim carrey shows that he is not just a man of a million faces  but a legitimate actor who could go down as one of the best  andrew niccol is responsible for the screenplay and peter weir pulled it off to perfection  the truman show is a must see for anyone who likes movies in general because they will be thoroughly impressed by this creative film  
pos	capsule  this is a harrowing look at a rarely dramatized chapter of wwii  life in a japanese prison camp  to end all wars is a moving film about the struggle of prisoners to retain their humanity and their dignity  the somewhat religious interpretation may not be to everyones taste   3  4 to 4  more than any other people the japanese seem capable of acting with one goal and not letting any other consideration get in their way  this may be a holdover from the code of bushido when loyalty to ones master was the only law  during world war ii  of course  the one goal was winning the war  this led them to do some very inhuman things in pursuit of that goal  when the japanese had captured prisoners  they were very much treated in whatever way would be optimum for achieving the one goal  minimum resources were to be spent in maintaining prisoners in keeping with maximal positive output  while the germans  not known for their kindness in those days  had a 6 mortality rate among captured prisoners of war  the mortality rate of japanese prisoners of war was 27  the best thing for the war effort was working prisoners nearly to death on the thailand to burma railroad  that railroad was needed if japan was to attack india as it planned to do  the best thing for the effort was not to waste much food on the prisoners so short and amazingly wretched food was the order of the day  and just being in the jungle without proper medical aid took its toll  in the public mind japan has never been held as accountable for war atrocities as was germany  filmmakers have been reticent to tell the story  perhaps for fear of offending the japanese  there are comparatively few films about the japanese pow camps  certainly there was david leans the bridge on the river kwai  there were some lowbudget british exploitation films and that was about it  then there were tv series  a town like alice  and  tenko   lest the experience be forgotten we have a new film to end all wars directed by david cunningham and written by brian godawa  it is based on the account of ernest gordan who survived the horror of that world war ii prison camp and went on to become for 26 years the dean of the chapel at princeton university  the film while realistic shows the conditions in the camp as being considerably more brutal and sadistic than bridge on the river kwai portrayed them  the story opens with six or so soldiers being marched into the prison camp only to be immediately placed in front of a firing squad  it turns out to be a grim joke  one of many that the sadistic japanese play to amuse themselves  beating and torture are commonplace events  men already imprisoned tell the new arrivals to enjoy the last of their health  it will not last long with parasites and disease almost inevitable  however  unlike as in kwai  the prisoners want to avoid going to the hospital  called by the prisoners the death house  so goes a war within a war with the prisoners trying to maintain their humanity and with the japanese trying to make them interchangeable and highly expendable cogs in a raillaying machine  this is more than just a battle of who will win the war but a battle of ideologies  the japanese believe that the individual is nothing  that conformity to groups norms is all that gives a life meaning  conformity is purpose  before the film is over there will be some surprising revelations about the character of the prisoners and the character of those running the camp  if this story showed nothing but sadism from the japanese it would be one kind of story  if the british  with one american  by the way  and the japanese learned to respect each other it would be another kind of story  it is neither  it is a stirring and believable account of camp life  the color has been distorted in the film to give a washed out yellow  this serves a double purpose for cunningham  it gives an effect of technicolor film that has been left in heat  it also creates a distancing effect  the only touch that seems a little out of place is the use of gaelic music  this is a powerful and philosophical view of the prison camp experience  i rate it a 9 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 3 on the 4 to 4 scale  
pos	another independent film  this comedy  which was brought by miramax for 5 million  is good fun  favreau and vaughn  the lost world  jurassic park  1997  play mike and trent  two everyday 20somethings on the lookout for women  the film just basically follows their plight on the lookout for lurve  and along the way we get to meet some of their friends  see their attempts at chatting up girls  and just basically get a insight into their lives  and all of this is great fun  swingers doesnt rely on huge special effects  or big name stars to provide entertainment  no  it just has a great script and superb little known actors  the script  by favreau  is great  mike is always missing is girlfriend  who hasnt called him for six months  and every time he meets a girl  he always end up telling her about the ex  the audience feels for this pathetic little man  thanks to the great script  vaughn is the money  swingers speak for the best  as the womanizing trent  always on the lookout for a new girl  some of his chatup lines are awful  but he always seems to get the girl thanks to his hard man nature  vaughns character also gets the best laugh in the film  towards the end in a diner  the conversations that go on between mike and trent are great  but it never quite reaches tarantino standards  which i suspect the film was trying to reach   there are some excellent  laugh out loud jokes in the film  and some superbly funny set pieces  such as favreau cringeworhy battle with a answer machine that always cut him off before he finishes his sentence  embarrassing to him  hilarious to the audience   mike  trents friends are also good  although there characters seem a bit underwritten  and we never really learn as much as we would like about them  although this is primarily mike and trents film  it would of been nice to learn a bit more about their friends  they just seem to wander aimlessly in the background  but again  the lines they say are usually pretty good  and they do have some funny parts  its just a shame that they didnt have more meatier roles  the acting is superb  as said above  vaughn is superb as trent  hes definitely the best thing in the film  favreau is also good  acting as the little man very well  and the way he always feels sorry for himself is very funny  graham  boogie nights  1997  has a small but good role as lorraine  a girl mike finally falls in love with  she hardly features in the film at all  but she still manages to make an impact on the audience  swingers  then  is funny  but it does have some flaws  firstly  the running time is a bit too short  the film comes to an abrupt halt  and i actually wanted the film to carry on longer  it never really comes to a satisfying conclusion  which is a shame  as most films are too long  also  this type of film has been done too many times  such as sleep with me  1994   but these small flaws dont really spoil what is a funny  entertaining comedy  
pos	a frequent error is the categorization of a terrorist as a soldier or a common criminal  a soldier commits acts of violence sanctioned by one nationstate against another  a common criminal commits acts of violence for personal gain  a terrorist employs random violence as a means to a political end  if the target nation does not affect the desired change in policy  the violence continues  it is the fear resulting from the fact that the terrorist may strike at anyone  even total innocents   anywhere  at anytime that gives the figure his label  edward zwicks the siege explores the possibility of this kind of violence taking place right here in the united states  youd think the opening bit was ripped right from the headlines  arab terrorists kill american citizens abroad  and the u  s  responds by retaliating against the sheik whom supposedly ordered the attack  however  unlike the reallife tomahawk cruise missile strike against bin ladens camp and manufacturing facility  the film version depicts special operations troops kidnapping sheik ahmed bin talal  in retaliation  the terrorists bring the fight to the new world  unwittingly involved is fbi assistant special agentincharge anthony hubbard  denzel washington   who works out of the bureaus new york office at one federal plaza  while investigating a series of bombings in the big apple  he encounters cia agent elise kraft  annette bening   also trying to uncover information  generally  the fbi is charged with problems inside the u  s   while the cia takes care of problems in the international realm  even spies from other countries are off limits to the cia as long as they are in our country  hubbard therefore finds it highly unusual that an agency spook is nosing around what he considers his territory  but as the two form a tentative professional relationship  hubbard becomes more and more aware of an increasingly complicated series of allegiances and possibly illegal actions involving terrorism and the united states government  the original tagline for patriot games was   there has never been a terrorist attack on american soil   however true  it was pulled before the movies release because it sounded too much like a dare  revisiting the scenario of foreign terrorists committing acts of violence in the united states  the siege is almost an invitation in itself  because it shows just what kind of turmoil could be produced if an effective terrorist network were to set up operations here in america  admittedly  the terror wrought upon new york is a bit excessive  whos going to believe that a few bombs are going to cause new yorkers to jump at the backfire of a bus or to curtail their shopping by twothirds    but the basic premise is still valid  i liked the fact that this film rises above the basic actionthriller fare of good guy gmen against bad guy terrorists by exploring some of the effects on society and law and order  it provides a very possible hypothesis that violent activity on the part of a few arabs would escalate into a series of hate crimes against the arabamerican population  and that in an effort to find the terrorists  the civil liberties of the minority may be violated by the government itself  in fact  about halfway through the film  when the president authorizes the declaration of martial law within new york city  the liberties of all americans are put at risk  although it may actually be a side effect of a terrorist campaign  the demise of social order in america is a scary thought and a goal which would not be beneath many international terrorist groups  throughout  the film maintains a conflict between hubbard  who wants to use the fbi to pursue the terrorists within the letter of the law  and general devereaux  bruce willis   who is in command of the army and of the mind that the greater good would be better served by suspending the law and pursuing the terrorists more forcefully  what results is a fascinating debate over the appropriateness and constitutionality of the declaration of martial law and the invocation of the war powers act  utilizing philosophy and historical examples to make points on both sides  it actually gets rather heady at times  but its a credit to screenwriters zwick  lawrence wright  and menno meyjes that they dont underestimate the intelligence of the audience  i dont know if its his tone or inflection or something else  but denzel washington has a way of spitting out dialog that makes whatever he says sound great  this  combined with his innate acting ability and his experience in playing the midlevel authority figure  makes his performance in the siege convincing and enjoyable  annette bening gives one of the more assertive portrayals of a female character ive seen recently  and the chemistry she shares with washington is palpable  its somewhat unfortunate that her characters fortitude is broken at a certain point  but it allows us to watch bening play a little more range  bruce willis is pretty much relegated to a toughguy role  always standing straight  and with a permanent scowl fixed upon his face  however  the tension that exists between devereaux and hubbard is a major drive behind the films development  notable is tony shalhoub who plays fbi agent frank haddad  a lebanese immigrant  the role calls for evidencing both a kind of filial pride for his heritage  and contempt for those of his own race who might interfere with his integration into the american society  difficult to say the least  shalhoub does it with a naturalness you can almost reach out and touch  perhaps best known for his role as antonio the cab driver in the nbc sitcom  wings   shalhoub gained notoriety for his dramatic abilities in the wonderful film big night  whereas denzel washington seems to be edward zwicks favorite actor  he directed washington in glory and courage under fire   james horner seems to be his favorite composer  i therefore found it odd that zwick chose the prolific scorewriter graeme revell  seven films this year already  over horner for the siege until i realized that this film contained a lot of arabianthemed music  and horners record has shown more of a propensity for scores either neutral in ethnicity or irishsounding at most  revell does a good job at providing appropriate music to punctuate key scenes and allowing the score to enhance the movie as a whole  its nowhere near as intrusive as in some of the other films weve been getting throughout the year  missteps in the siege can be found in a couple of the excesses it takes  for example  its pretty clear throughout that the film is meant to be more of thriller than an action flick  unfortunately  theres a scene where the army just cuts loose against some arab immigrants in a blatant display of firepower and explosions  obviously meant for the sole purpose of being eyecatching  in the middle of the city  and against no real opposition   zwick even has the army use a cobra attack helicopter to shoot rockets into a building no farther than 50 feet from friendly troops  verisimilitude really goes out the window at that point  the film also gets a little preachy toward the end  focusing on the ability of different races to get along  a noble gesture  the film just puts the message across a bit too obviously  these flaws are glaring  but they dont detract too much from an otherwise good film that makes you think about issues you may not have considered since history class  
pos	very few people would be unaware of beavis  butthead  both created and narrated by mike judge   they are the two animated mtv characters who have the most annoying laughter know to human kind  you may have seen them on their television program  as they snigger and make lude remarks about women  anything related to sex  and the music film clips that they watch  in beavis  butthead do america the pair finally make their big screen debut  to the delight of some  and the deplore of others  beavis  butthead  yes  those are their real names   are two very ugly teenagers with extremely warped minds driven by raging hormones  they live their lives in front of the television  the worst possible event occurs to the pair when their television is stolen  this happens as they sleep  and when they awake it takes them a few minutes just to decipher that the television has gone  beavis even tries to use the remote  though there is no television there  the two spot a van outside and two sinister looking men carrying a television  even at this point they have no idea what has happened  they look around  seeing all the evidence  but are completely oblivious to the fact that these men have just stolen their television  before the movie i knew that they were stupid  but i didnt realise just how stupid  this is typical of their behaviour throughout the film  eventually they realise that their television has been stolen  so they leave their sofa to go search for a television  luck would have it that they stumble into a hotel room  looking for a television  where a man is awaiting two guys whose task it is to kill his wife  this man  thinking that beavis  butthead are the assigned killers  tells them that they can have 10  000 if they  do his wife   beavis  butthead  being the ignorant fools that they are  think that he is offering them 10  000 dollars to have sex with his good looking wife  they are taken to the airport where they fly to las vegas to  do her   to them  this is the best day of their lives  not only are they going to lose their virginity  one of their lifelong aims   but most importantly  they will have enough money to buy a big screen tv  inevitably they become caught up in a huge crime  and unbeknown to them  are tracked across the country by the fbi  oddly enough  it is their complete stupidity that spares them from being caught  as a result the fbi is convinced they are criminal masterminds  they end up travelling right across america  visiting places such as the hoover dam and washington dc  the irony is that although they visit so many grand and spectacular locations  their one time out in the big world away from their television  they are completely oblivious to it  at old faithful they are far more fascinated with the infrared operated urinals than with the geyser itself  beavis  butthead essentially have the journey of their lives  they even get to meet the president  but all they care about is getting their television back  and losing their virginity  this is one of the many reasons that the film is so funny  its unbelievable just how stupid they are  and how they can be so oblivious to everything around them  the humour is certainly crude  but then beavis  butthead are just that  crude  lude and rude  in the end you cant help but feel sorry for them  a pair of antisocial couch potatoes whose life is television  in this respect  and also with regard to authority  such as the fbi  mike judge is quite critical of amercian society  if you are easily offended  or find this pair particularly annoying  steer clear  otherwise  it should keep you laughing the whole way through  one note of warning  dont take friends who like to imitate beavis  butthead      youll never hear the end of it  
pos	let me start off by saying that leading up to the release of the latest bond film  i really wasnt looking forward to it as much as i have with some of the previous films  im not sure if it was the fairly lackluster trailers or the everpresent dread that the next film will fall back into the miserable ways of the timothy dalton years  im happy to report that any doubts were erased after about the first 10 minutes of the film  by that point  it was evident that mr  bond was back with a vengeance  all doubts would have probably been erased sooner except for the fact that the first ten minutes of the film werent exactly a pleasant experience  it seems that nobody told the geniuses working at the theater that the house lights are supposed to be turned off when the movie starts  it took a reminder from an audience member to clue them in  i guess they can be excused though  taking tickets and cleaning up popcorn between shows is extremely taxing on the brain  anyway  after somebody remembered what the light switch was for  i settled in for bond  i think the most noticeable aspect of this  the 19th film in the series  is that it really goes back to the almost tongue in cheek style of the roger moore films  there were probably more oneliners in this movie than in the last several combined  and bonds last oneliner in the film is about the best of the series  the world is not enough also contained perhaps the most action of any movie of the series  everything from wild boat chases to the usual assortment of cool bond gadgets trotted out just when there seems to be no way out for 007  for the most part  the action sequences worked very well  although  there were a couple of times that i thought some things were a bit over the top  even for a bond film  i think some of the blame can be laid at the feet of director michael apted  while he did a good job for the most part  there were points in the movie  specifically during action sequences  that he seemed to loose site of the fact that he was making essentially an action film  most noticeably sequences on a snow covered mountain and one involving bond getting through a closing door looked like apted thought he was filming some sort of high brow art movie  he almost seemed like he didnt know what he was doing  but they were brief scenes and really shouldnt take away from the otherwise solid job that apted did in directing  if you have ever seen a bond film  you wont be shocked to learn that plot has never been their strong suit  the world is not enough is no exception  this time we have yet another over villain that bond has to stop for the good of the world  007 matches wits with the terrorist renard  robert carlyle   a man who has a bullet lodged in his brain that makes him impervious to pain  why this point is included is beyond me  they took great pains to explain his condition  but it only came up later in the movie as a scene that can only be described as looking like an afterthought  anyway  renard  like the typical terrorist that he is  is bent on some harebrained scheme involving a mideast oil pipeline  i guess world domination just isnt as attractive to terrorists as a money making venture anymore  bond is brought in to protect the pipelines owner  elektra king  sophie marceau   who is the daughter of one of renards recent victims  along the way  bond has to enlist the help of a nuclear scientist  dr  christmas jones  denise richards   and his old rival valentin zukovsky  robert carlyle   like all bond films  you basically just have to suspend disbelief over the plot  since it is ridiculous beyond words  my biggest complaint would be that it was about the most disjointed of any of the bond films  there was at least one point that i had to stop and try to remember why bond was where he was and why he was doing what he was doing  the buddy that i saw the movie with was completely confused over an earlier kidnapping of marceaus character  it was alluded to earlier in the movie briefly  although not included in the film  later  it became a big part of the story and left him with the distinct feeling that he had missed something  but because it is a bond film  the beautiful women and nifty gadgets seem to make you forget about script problems quite quickly  after all  it isnt shakespeare  how about the cast  brosnan seems to get better with each of his appearances as 007  i grew up with the roger moore version of bond  so i really enjoyed the lighter style that brosnan brings to the character  judi dench  as m  had a bigger role in this film than in her two previous appearances in the role  she brought the talent with her that one would expect from an oscar winner  robbie coltrane was easily one of the best parts in goldeneye  so it was nice to see his russian mobster character revived in this movie  coltrane gets more screen time  which simply leads to him stealing even more scenes  then there are the bond girls  sophie marceau might be one of the most beautiful actresses working today  there is just something about her breathtaking eyes that makes her a natural to play the innocent victim  those that saw her in braveheart know she is more than just a pretty face  marceau may be the most talented actress to ever play a bond love interest  then we have denise richards  there was no doubt in my mind that she was cast exclusively for her looks  and after you see the outfits she wears  you wont have any trouble guessing what part of her anatomy caught the producers eyes  i was pleasantly surprised to find that she really did a good job playing a nuclear scientist  admittedly  there was one point that the audience snickered a bit at one of her technical lines of dialogue  but other than that she stacks up  no pun intended  to her bond girl predecessors nicely  i must say that the biggest disappointment was robert carlyles character  while carlyle did a fine job with the material that he had  his character just never worked for me  the producers tried very hard to add more complexity to his character  but it just never quite got off the ground  i guess i was hoping for a bit more regarding the whole impervious to pain aspect of his character  but the writers decided to play up the emotional side of his character  this might have worked well in another movie  but i dont go to see bond movies for their deep characterizations  last  but not least  we have desmond llewelyn as q  this is the 17th appearance for llewelyn as bonds gadget guy  and he is as good as ever  although his screen time has grown far more limited in the past few films  he is still a treat to watch  rumors abound that this may be his last appearance in the role  he says future appearances are up to a higher power  the producers have introduced his protege and future replacement  a bumbling and somewhat pompous character played by comedy master john cleese  while we dont see much of him in this film  i think it is fair to say that desmond llewelyns legacy  whenever it is passed on  will be in very capable hands  so how does it stack up  despite some problems  the world is not enough is a very entertaining movie  and  all things considered  what problems it does have are small compared to some that have plagued earlier bond movies  this is easily the best of the brosnan films  it may even be the best of the entire series  certainly in the top 3  one thing is for sure  even after 19 movies  there is still plenty of life left in the james bond series  heres looking forward to bond number 20  
pos	seen september 5  1998 at 10 p  m  at the sony nickelodeon theaters  boston  ma   theater 2  with matt perreault for free using my sonyloews critics pass  theater rating    12  okay seats  sound  and picture modern society is now inundated with more sex and sexuality than it ever has been before  from teenage sitcoms to nc17rated films about fetishes  the biggest debate of the subject is whether or not it affects reality or just reflects it   your friends and neighbors  takes a different approach as its a film that revolves almost entirely around sex and how can be used for both pain and pleasure even within a small circle of friends  one of the most important aspects of the film that most be noted and analyzed before the film can really be dissected as a whole is writerdirector neil labutes basic setup and some of the unique methods he employs to tell the story  firstly  and most importantly is the fact the script tells a rather complex  detailed story of lust  betrayal  arrogance  hypocrisy  greed  and just plain stupidity between six different characters  three men  three women   without hardly any supporting characters   a few have a line or two   mostly extras  everything they do will somehow affect another character and ultimately come fullcircle back to themselves  whether it be positive or negative  but to just state this is arbitrary  and explaining and criticizing the process is difficult  labutes ability to tell his story through a few characters is a remarkable feat  but whats specifically impressive is the fact the characters names are never revealed until the end credits roll  for the sake of this review  i will describe the characters and refer to them as their main characteristic  another interesting accomplishment is the fact every scene takes place inside with limited focus  were always able to tell where the characters are  someones home  the gym  a restaurant  hotel room  etc    but what the city they live in  what year it is  what the society is like  etc  is relatively unknown  the film is a complete character study with the tight  intense drama of the theater  no one plot dominates the story  which makes the first act a bit tedious for its lack of background  were simply dropped in on the characters lives and are expected to figure out the rest  the characters are a group of middleclass white people who are all successful at what they do  but theyre only concern right now seems to be their sex lives  first theres barry  eckhart  and mary  brenneman   a married couple who are going through a dry spell not unlike many other couples in other situations who dont know what theyre problem is  barry is kind of a dorky businessman who loves his wife  and the sex they have  but doesnt have a lot of ambition  he just follows everyone else  mary is a writer of some sort  but lacks aggression and emotion like her husband and is the meekness character  but ironically  doesnt hesitate to commit adultery just to feel something  labutes script does a good job in characterizing mary and barry as individuals  but is very light on chemistry and connection between the two  obviously  this is the theme  which is enhanced by the actors good performances  but at the same time seems just a bit hollow  another couple is jerry  stiller  and terri  keener  who live together and seem to have been involved with each other for a long time  yet they constantly argue over anything and everything  their sex life is also fraught with problems and for some reason they continue to do it throughout their infidelitous relationship  if only one aspect of the film could use improvement  it would be this area  its natural for a married couple to become bored with each other  but why would two people who can barely stand each other continue to have sex and live together  what did they ever see in the other person to begin with  labute never really answers  but since the film is more concerned with the payoff than the process  it still makes for good drama  tension  and manip ulation so intricate and deceitful its fascinating  two other characters act as catalysts  cary  jason patric  and cheri  natassja kinski   cary is an arrogant  hostile sexmaniac who defines the word  bastard   somehow he is able to bend women to his will  either through charm or just attitude  into getting his way  hes the kind of guy everyone should stay away from as we realize hes secretly perverted  but somehow barry finds comfort in his company  although jerry is always nervous around him  patric gives an outstanding performance  so much so that we want to know more about him despite how intimidating and unlikable he is  cheri is a character labute uses as a catalyst to see how the other characters react to her  she works in an art museum and at some point throughout the film  each character will engage her in almost the exact same conversation and her reaction is always different  from becoming involved in a relationship with one  to brushing it off as small talk with another  to being outright appalled by yet another  shes a sweet woman  perhaps the most normal of any of the characters  and although her symbolism is obvious  her role as the outsider is the most relatable  i will not reveal who cheats on who and how each character is specifically affected by the others action  as thats the hook of the film  the first two acts begin to set up the characters and eachs scenarios  but its often difficult to tell what they will do about it and with whom  the result is sometimes surprising  other times predictable  but the actual course of actions is always fascinating  for a while everyone has their fun  but ultimately each characters guilt  attitude  or ignorance will disserve them  one of the most important things to note is how realistic the story is supposed to be  since the characters only interact with each other there isnt much pop culture references  as almost everything has a deeper philosophy behind it  are we to assume that these people are  as the title states  our friends and neighbors  i dont know of anyone going through the same situations as these people  often times the film is not unlike a network melodrama  other times situations are like those not seen outside a porno movie  but what this film does have that the others dont is repercussions in the end  although the film creates its own reality  it goes to show that even the immoral arent immortal  in what way  your friends and neighbors  is supposed to work is open to interpretation  it definitely has a lot to say about the price that comes with infidelity  but it could have been even better had it expanded on that theme more specifically  still  its an accomplishment in filmmaking because it has put a timeless theme into a modern perspective  
pos	the characters in  palmetto  collectively sweat enough to fill lake erie  and its just the right way to capture the films ripe atmosphere of sensuality  tension and even farce  this humid floridaset thriller nurtures a modestly absurd edginess that often winks at itself  which is very much a good thing since the actors and director are in on the joke  as far as setup is concerned  the movie is nothing we havent seen before  but be patient   palmetto  spins some pretty wicked story twists that we really dont see coming  its not a classic by any means  but it sure is quite an engaging surprise  harry barber  woody harrelson  is fresh out of prison  where hes served a couple of years for a crime he didnt commit  even though he harbors animosity towards the obtuse local officials  harrys first order of business is to return to his home town of palmetto to be with his sculptor girlfriend nina  gina gershon   while searching for work  he catches the eye of rhea malroux  elisabeth shue   the mysterious sexbomb wife of a palmetto millionaire  rhea proposes a scheme thatll get harry 50  000 easy  to play a small part in the staged kidnaping of her jailbait stepdaughter odette  chloe sevigny    you do like risks  dont you  mr  barber   rhea alluringly coos  boys  form a line behind me  part of  palmetto  s success can be attributed to the performance of elisabeth shue  who demonstrates here that her oscarnominated turn in  leaving las vegas  might merely be foreshadowing great things to come  shues a seductive  campy delight  and pulls off a barbara stanwyckgloria swanson combo with admirable relish  the other actors form a solid ensemble around her  including sevigny   kids    tantalizingly slutty as a teen tease  as well as the everlikeable gershon  cast a far cry from her extreme roles in  bound  and  showgirls   harrelson is still doing fine followup work to  the people vs  larry flynt    palmetto  does have its share of grievances  harrelsons narration is needless  i suppose  and gershons nina cries to be meatier than she ultimately is  one of the plots unexpected angles  that harry is asked by the police to become the press liaison for the very crime in which hes involved  could have been played a little better  there are moments when you question the tone  but its never so unstable that it deserves the reproach its been receiving from most other critics  if  palmetto  didnt want to be laughed at  would it really have tacked on a climax that plays like a liveaction  who framed roger rabbit   although a few elements can be questioned  the movie works well on its own terms  thanks to a juicy cast  especially shue  and the nifty material approach from director volker schlondorff  you remember him from last summers suddenly repopular  the tin drum   right    everything runs smoothly  and for fans of revelationheavy endings  this films got a few shocks in store that i wont even dream of revealing   palmetto  is a generous amount of fun to watch  and thats all you need to know  
pos	 youve got mail  is the very definition of a  cute  movie  its got cute stars  a cute storyline  and even cute pets  despite this overwhelming cuteness  or maybe because of it   i loved  youve got mail   i know  i know  im supposed to be a film critic  im not supposed to love transparent and formula pictures like this  but darn it  somewhere along the way   youve got mail  reeled me in  hook  line  and sinker  the movie stars tom hanks and meg ryan as two somewhat unhappy new yorkers who meet in an aol online chat room and quickly become close friends  without ever knowing each others identity  as the movie progresses  though  they begin to discover that they have a lot in common with each other  meanwhile  in  reallife   they are bitter competitors  she owns a quaint little childrens bookstore  he owns one of those gigantic superbookstores that offer impersonal service and discount prices  while his store threatens to run her store out of business  their online relationship grows stronger   youve got mail  is as artificial as movies come  everything is nice and happy and by the end  all the characters have gotten exactly what they wanted out of life  there are no real conflicts  no major disappointments  no unresolved issues  nevertheless  i quite enjoyed it  in fact  i cant remember the last time i had such a good time at the movies  i think sometimes you have to be able to watch a movie and just get drawn into it  the fact that stars hank and ryan are at the top of their game does not hurt either  in particular  hanks is at his best here  turning his  charmmeter  up to 11  everytime he was on screen  he had my full attention  and despite the fact that he was driving little bookstores out of business  i was rooting for him  it was good to see hanks back doing what he does best  playing the affable everyman   youve got mail  certainly wont be winning any awards  but as an exercise in pure entertainment  its as good as it gets  
pos	with the sudden liberal emergence of personal privacy abounding in the news lately  what with that whole clinton thing going on  you know  100 million bucks to discover the president got boinked by an intern  oh  please  government  waste my taxes just a bit more  would you    its about time tony scott helmed the newest action pic disguised as an important if not slightly ignorant social statement  with this and  crimson tide   hes created two successfully chilly films that are interesting  exciting  even pretty smart  but never totally riveting as cinema  and the problem i think with each of these films is that each film is too obsessed with its message to ever be really satisfying  and too obsessed with looking all cutting edge to ever be totally smart  that film dealt with a civil war inside a nuclear submarine over whether or not to follow rules or question them  and was appropriately scary and all  but never totally thrilling or overly brilliant   enemy of the state  is the same way  its engrossing for its entire running time  and its scary the way that it shows a mans decent into kafkaism  but its too technical  its too cold and not as fascinating or exciting as it could be  it casts will smith  one of the better big budget leading men in movies these days because hes charming and witty and never uninteresting  and hopes that his charisma can make up for his character not being well developed enough to really be a person  i hate to do this  but last years film  the game  got it damn perfect  it casts michael douglas as a deeply flawed human being  a man who is cold and has cut off everyone from his life  and then pulls everything he thought he had as a security blanket away from him and watched what happened  the result was not only a film that was exciting and chilling  but also the best mindfuck of the entire year  not that i want every kafkaesque film to be  the game   this years  the spanish prisoner  succeeds with less thrills and chills   but it should be an example of what works and what doesnt  will smiths character is  frankly  too perfect  at least too movie perfect  he had an affair with another woman  lisa bonet  ha ha   but his relationship with his wife  regina king  is basically fine regardless  he has a kid  and hes raking in money as a lawyer  albeit a very good and reasonably moral one  so he generally doesnt have any real problems as a human being  and is therefore boring    except that he is played by will smith  who embodies him with about as much will smith charm as he can without entering  id4    men in black  territory  hes a good dramatic actor  just see the first half hour of  six degrees of separation  for proof of this  not that he isnt great the whole time   and here  he makes his character likable and sympathetic without any real strain on his character  which makes the film lack any real deep interesting qualities  smith becomes involved in a mass conspiracy involving the assasination of a senator opposed to a government law that would create world surveillance  extinguishing privacy as we know it from the world  under the pretense that it would make crime easier to control  when he is passed a disk of the event caught on tape by an outside party  a nature observer played by  uh  jason lee   the government wants the disk  and is prepared to destroy his life to get it  as smiths plight is dramatized  we are introduced to the masterminds who surveillance him  sitting in vans disguised as other businesses  staring at computers and pulling out tricks faster than a speeding bullet  these guys  played by jack black  jamie kennedy  and seth green  are the most interesting part of this film because theyre  well  fascinating  theyre doing their jobs  which are evil  but the film doesnt view them as such  and they almost become our friends  we like these guys for the sole reason that the film doesnt automatically judge them as the villains  theyre also scary because we get the idea that theyre not fully aware of the impact their jobs have on the world  its as if theyre obsessed with their jobs  not because theyre evil  but because  hey  its a fun job  and no one else can do it like them  unfortunately  this also backfires a bit on the film  instead of being the flashlight in the darkened room that  the game  was  you see everything  and are thus not as freaked out because you know what is going on  sure  youre chilled  but youre not exacty freaked out by whats going on  but what do you expect from tony scott  the man who never met a fivesecond piece of film he ever liked  hes a notbad director because  hell  he is always interesting to watch  if not occasionally moronic  exhibit a   days of thunder    but the reason hes not great is because hes too technical and calculated  his shots are perfectly executed  and leave nothing to the imagination  and theyre always making sure youre paying attention  this is incredibly annoying  and it reduces  enemy of the state  to a mechanical mishmash of flashy images that never expand the mind at any great depths  but still manage to entertain without any real problems  despite never actually becoming great  its never actually boring and its always intriguing  watching the government setup smith is endlessly fascinating  and since we care about smiths likeable protagonist  we are setup for a good two hours worth of tom clancyesque entertainment  add the best big cast this side of the annual woody allen film  everyone from gabriel byrne to dan butler pop up for cameos   and youve got a good old fashioned escapist drama which does all the thinking for you so that you never have to actually question the debate over personal privacy and so you can follow will smiths plight without a minutes worth of boredom  
pos	mary nortons childrens book series  the borrowers  has been made into several belowaverage television movies  so  i wasnt too enthused as i entered the theater for the bigscreen debut of the minute clan  but i was in for a shock  the borrowers is actually a thoroughly delightful movie with plenty of good laughs and even some decent special effects  the lender family is being thrown out of their longtime home  their aunt  who owned the property  never left a will  now  an unscrupulous lawyer  ocious potter  john goodman  plans to demolish the house and replace it with an ultramodern housing development  but the lenders are not alone in their house  living under the floorboards is a family of borrowers  4 inch tall people who make their living as scavengers from the human  beans  above  the clock family of borrowers is as distressed as the lenders  especially once they discover the evil potter actually has a copy of the will which leaves the home to the lenders  so it is up to the clocks  pod  jim broadbent  and homily  celia imrie   along with their kids  arrietty  flora newbigin  and peagreen  tom felton   to recover the will and save the household  but when potter learns of the tiny people  he enlists the skills of exterminator jeff  mark williams  to kill off the clan  theres plenty of attention to detail in the borrowers  especially in the furnishings of the clock family house  made out of lost board game parts and credit cards  the background details are nearly as rich as the entertaining story  the various predicaments of the clock family are clever and thrilling  based on an original story  the screenwriters did a good job at imagining all the potential and unusual perils that could exist for a 4inch tall person  as the villain  john goodmans performance veers on the edge of being overthetop  but his performance suits the role well  and he does very well in the films many slapstick moments  with a nearly seamless mix of oversized sets  bluescreen shots and cgi  the special effects in the borrowers are very well done  there are a few times when you can spot the effects at work  but none of them are so jarring that you lose the suspension of disbelief  hopefully the borrowers will surpass the curse of being labeled a childrenonly movie  for it is surprisingly entertaining and fun to watch  
pos	touchstone pictures and spyglass entertainment presents a birnbaum  barber production in association with a jackie chan films limited production jackie chan owen wilson  shanghai noon  lucy liu music by randy edelman co producers ned dowd jules daly executive producer jackie chan willie chan and solon so produced by roger birnbaum gary barber and jonathan glickman written by alfred gough  miles millar directed by tom dey rated pg13 for mild language  adult situations  drug use  martial art action and violence  107 minutes  super 35mm  panavision  2  35  1  what can you say about jackie chan that hasnt already been said  since the release of rumble in the bronx  back in 1996  the u  s  release   jackie has become a fairly recognizable commodity on americas video shelves  having made over 80 films  jackie has finally succeeded in bringing his style of actioncomedy to the west  his latest release   shanghai noon   is a joyful tribute  spoof of the classic western  and by adding jackie chan into the genre  the tag line for the film   the western gets a kick in the pants   rings true  jackie stars as chon wang  a lesser imperial guard in the forbidden city of china  the royal princess pei pei  lucy liu  is set to be married to the obnoxious son of a nobleman from another prefecture  unwilling to follow her fathers wishes  princess pei pei with the assistance of her english tutor  decides to escape to america  but this is all a ploy devised by exiled guard lo fong  which will lead to the princess kidnapping and ransom  unable to take any legal action  the ransom demands are met and three of the forbidden citys bravest guards  played by cui ya hi  rong guang yu  and eric chen  are ordered to transport the ransom payment to lo fong in carson city  nevada  chon wang pleads with the imperial court and is given permission to join the team  as he is looked upon as a buffoon  on a train in the u  s  jackie meets up with bandit roy obannon  owen wilson   he is much less of a bandit than he is a glory hog  looking simple for the notoriety and fame that being a bandit will bring him  with his gang in tow  roy attempts to rob the train  when one of his gang murders the chinese interpreter of the royal court  who also happens to be chon wangs uncle  chon wang gives chase  foiling the attempted robbery  but also leaving himself stranded in the desert  as the disgraced guard wanders through the desert  he again comes upon roy  who has been left for dead by his former gang  buried up to his neck in the desert  roy pleads with chon to dig him out  chon demands to know where carson city is  roy directs him  and chon leaves  but not before sticking two chopsticks into roys mouth and telling him to dig himself  chon soon finds himself confronted by angry crow warriors  a friendly sioux tribe  gunslingers  a horse that thinks and behaves like a dog and an indian bride  brandon merrill   before once again running into roy   shanghai noon  is just good fun  the chemistry between the cast is remarkable  the performances are all acceptable within the whimsical levels of the film  jackies performance is as good as anything hes done before  hes not called on to do much acting here  as the character is not written with any depth  but jackies natural charisma shines through  and his comic timing is so perfect  both physically and  surprise  verbally that once again he commands the screen whenever he is on  owen wilson  last seen in the embarrassing remake of  the haunting   gives a good natured performance as roy obannon  his innocence is refreshing and fun  a bad guy thats not really bad  his scenes with jackie are some of the best bits of comic dueling since martin and lewis  lucy liu as princess pei pei is given little to do in the script  but for a change does not play a nymphet or some other deviant  the character is a noble woman of status and wealth  but finds a greater cause as a result of her own imprisonment  the rest of the performances are all broadly drawn comic performances  nothing here is realistic  mind you   shanghai noon  is first and foremost a light  jovial film  and the performances match that style with ease  the cinematography by dan mindel is gorgeous  using calgary  alberta as the prime location  mr  mindel is able to create a lush  romantic western feel to the film  nothing here really looks like nevada  but the locations are so beautifully shot and staged  the film can be looked upon as a loving tribute to earlier films of the genre  and as such  the script by alfred gough and miles millar plays fast and loose with history  but with reverence to past films  homage to such films as  high noon   obviously    red river  and most notably  butch cassidy  the sundance kid  all bring a sense of nostalgia to the film  it is a comforting experience  at a time when the western is considered either old hat or irrelevant  here is a film that embraces those old attitudes and  dare i say  clich  s and manages to make them palatable and refreshing  here is a film that is not contemptuous of the genre  this is the purest  horse opera  since the days of george obrian or john wayne  director tom dey has crafted a loving tribute to hollywoods past  in this  his first film mr  dey shows both a love of character and of craftsmanship that is refreshing to see  nothing here really stands out  or takes ones attention away from the story or action  and that is as it should be  when jackie chan is your star  and what of the action and stunts  well  while not up to a level of  drunken master 2  or any of jackies hong kong films   shanghai noon  is miles ahead of anything jackie has done in an american film before  his timing  choreography  and creativity are still as sharp as ever  jackie even gets to recreate a few scenes from his earlier films  obvious to those of us that have seen those films  but refreshingly fun for those unfamiliar   finally jackie can honestly say  that he has made an u  s   his way and incorporating his style  to sum up   shanghai noon  is a fun summer confection  not too heavy and not too light  a fun and entertaining film that the whole family can enjoy  parents be advised there are scenes of smoking  drunkenness and peyote use   an enjoyable and charming film that can and will be enjoyed again and again  
pos	the reunion film is not an original idea in any way  shape  or form  its been done throughout film history over and over again  and has become one of the many subgenres  like the prep school subgenre  the angstfilled teen subgenre  and the slasher subgenre  what makes  peters friends  so remarkable is not how it doesnt follow the rules of this subgenre  but how it follows it so well  and creates characters that i wouldnt mind hanging with  what are the rules of the reunion subgenre  well     1  you need a group of friends  most of them married or at least dating  and sometimes even married or dating eachother  2  you need to have them brought back together over some sort of a crisis  3  they are not to have spoken together much since they split apart  4  the reunion has to come in intervals divisible by 10  5  they all have to be slightly to highly neurotic  6  the reunion has to bring them together  seperate them with little crises  then bring them back together because  after all  theyre friends  7  there has to be some sex or at least some making out either between the friends or with other people that are there or were invited  8  eightly  theyre all unhappy or marginally so  9  theres some sort of sexual tension amongst some of them thats built up over the years  10  the friends are all wildly successful in the world of entertainment and the arts  sometimes internationally so  11  the film is filled with nostalgic radio hits from the time when they were friends  sometimes causing them to get together in dancesong  since it follows these rules so closely  it will probably be  and has been  coined off as just a  british big chill    and in some ways it is  both follow the rules  as i said  and both feature lots of bitching  big confessionals  and broken relationships  but while  the big chill  was  at least to me  a tad too whiny and unsatisfying   peters friends  hits its mark  making this film funny  dramatic  and poignant  the friends of peters were all in the same theatre group back in 82  performig wildly outrageous british acts for people far too stuck up to enjoy them  the opening scene has them all dancing in tux tops and tutus   after peters  stephen fry  wealthy father  richard briers  hardly on screen enough to register  but oh well  dies  leaving a giant mansion to him  he has to decide whether or not to keep it  not sure what to do with it immeadiately  he decides to throw a giant reunion party  inviting back all his old chums  of course  all or most of his chums follow the tenth rule  andrew  kenneth branagh  also directing here  is an actor whos unhappily married to a tv star  carol  cowriter rita rudner   maggie  emma thompson  is a successfuly publisher of selfhelp books  but looks like she needs them more than her customers  as she is lonely and unhappy  roger and mary  hugh laurie and imelda staunton  who were also married in  sense and sensibility   are married  and are the most successful creators of jingles in the uk  but have suffered a tragedy as one of their newly born twins has recently died  and sarah  alphonsia emmanuel  is as promiscuous as ever  having a new boyfriend as of two weeks named brian  tony slattery  whos married and wants a divorce because of her  giving her doubts  as for peter  things seem okay    the film features lots of innerfriend jokes  and even some old theatre anecdotes  which i at least find a lot of fun in  as ive done lots of theatre myself   and there are big confessions  brawls between the friends  and by the end  almost everyone is unhappy  even though some have resolved their problems long before the end  which i kinda dug   the final twist would seem forced an anticlimactic  but for some reason  i felt the same way the rest of the friends did  maybe its because the people in this film are so likable that i just wanted to join their clique  thats really what makes  peters friends  so lovable  the way you just want to hang with a group of friends who can be so dysfuntional sometimes  but when someones in crisis  can come together wonderfully for one another  its when you have a giant crisis like this and people want to selflessly help you out instead of subtely pushing you away that makes you realize you have true friends  and these people are true friends  not to mention kenneth branagh is able to make the film seem nostalgic for the 80s  a decade i grew up in  unfortunately  without taking us outside of the 90s  there are some 80s classics and anticlassics like tears for fears  everybody wants to rule the world   but unfortunately no stupidfun 80s songs  i think if i ever did an 80s reunion film  id put some crap go gos song on  or at least some good old  come on eileen    but this is the british 80s were talking about  oh well  but anyway  the direction is pretty good  although nothing amazing  branaghs forte is really making shakespeare fresh and magical  but at least hes very good with making a less ambiguous film like this  the writing is good from rita rudner and martin bregman  with lots of good oneliners  and even some really bad but good puns  to mock the fact that andrew lives in l  a   peter  while cutting some logs  asks him is he has wood in l  a   and andrew says   no  but we have hollywood   punishment like that   the actors  as in most speaking movies  are better than their material  though  with some standout performances to the six friends  as well as the outsiders like slattery  rudner  and phyllida law as the old housekeeper of the peters mansion  a little note should be made about hugh lauries performance  as he looks like he took some massive doses of prozac before doing this  i mean  ive never seen him actually act this dramatically   peters friends  is a really enjoyable film which makes people like me pine for some sort of future reunion  although i dont know what kind ill have  like most people  i dont look forward to my high school reunion   because of the way these friends are still able to maintain the same amount of care they have for one another and after such a long period of seperation  i just look forward to the day when i can have friends like that  
pos	once upon a time a solitary ogre named shrek  mike myers  was really annoyed to discover that his swamp had been invaded by three blind mice  seven dwarves and all the other fairy tale characters in the land  banished from their home by lord farquaad  john lithgow   unwittingly befriended by a nonstop talking donkey  eddie murphy   shrek travels to dulloc to speak with farquaad  where he stumbles into a joust and comes up the winner  his prize  to save princess fiona  cameron diaz  from a tower surrounded by molten flame and protected by a dragon so she can become farquaads bride  the ogre agrees to the task in return for getting his solitary lifestyle back in  shrek   it took four writers  ted elliott and terry rossio   the road to el dorado    roger s  h  schulman   balto   and joe stillman   beavis and butthead do america    to adapt william steigs childrens book  the bad news  theyve genericized an already simple plotline while heavily under the influence of william goldmans  the princess bride   the good news  theres so much wacky humor culled from both fairy tales and popular culture that this movie should keep you in stitches  we get our first inkling that were in for a real treat as one of farquaads men  intent on rounding up magical creatures offers five schillings for the possessed boy   after observing dreamworks rendition of disneys animated pinocchio  meanwhile within the castle walls  a gingerbread man being tortured by farquaad spits icing and yells eat me   before breaking down and solemnly asking do you know the muffin man   shrek  a green giant with bobbly antennaelike ears  is a grumpy recluse who really yearns to fit in  although who could put up with his habit of making candles from his own ear wax    donkey is a hyperactive  endearingly stunted creature who can talk and  therefore  believes will make a great misfit pairing with the uncooperative shrek  donkey proves his worth sweet talking the princessguarding dragon  the princess proves to be more than a shade offbeat after learning shes not getting the fairy tale issue rescue shes been expecting  when fionas true colors are exposed  including opportunies for some tomboyish gross out humor   a spark develops between her and shrek  the scripts details are gleefully impish  constantly poking fun at disney from the theme park world of farquaads dulloc with its turnstyle entrance and its a small world parody of an information booth to the blue bird which meets a most undisneyish fate after duetting with fiona snow white style  popular culture is represented with film references to  babe  and  charlies angels  via  the matrix   myers chooses his so i married an axe murderer scottish brogue for shrek in order to give his voice some heft  while this may prove distracting for anyone familiar with that film  overall it works more than not  eddie murphy steals the show as the fasttalking  motownsinging donkey  proving once again his talent as a vocal performer  is it another wink at disney that donkey is paired with a dragon  a creature murphy portrayed in disneys mulan     lithgows a good choice for the supercilious  heightchallenged villain lord farquaad  diaz is energetic but ultimately nondescript voicing princess fiona   a better choice would have been minnie driver  whos proven herself a terrific vocal talent in such diverse animations as disneys  tarzan    princess mononoke  and the  south park  movie   the computer animation looks terrific  particularly donkey   although it wont elicit the types of oohs and aahs of pixars work   toy story    a bugs life    toy story 2    in keeping with its hip style  pop music is used  which like myers voice may be initially jarring  but ultimately satisfies  while surveying bridal candidates via a dating game parody broadcast by snow whites evil queens mirror  farquaad is told fiona likes pina coladas  cue jimmy buffet     shrek  has good lessons for kids and humor targetted at every age group in the family  while it may be derivative of the 1987s  the princess bride    shrek  addresses a new generation with similar sensibilities and doesnt suffer in the comparison  
pos	some movies have such an impact that they linger in your mind long after the credits have rolled  making you think carefully and recollect on what you have just seen  i finished mike figgis  leaving las vegas  hours ago  and it is still as haunting as when i hit rewind on the vcr  alot of people refer to this film as  that flick where nick cage plays that alcoholic dude    leaving las vegas  is not so much a movie about alcoholism as it is a story about two people who except each other for what they are  a drunk and a whore  ben  nicolas cage in possibly the best male performance of the past twenty years  is the drunk  his family and friends have long since abandon him  and all he has left is his liquor  in a scene early in the film  we see ben staggering into a resteraunt  looking for a  friend  of his to mooch some money off of  he finds the guy  richard lewis  having dinner with a buddy and two chicks  trying to crack witty jokes that just come out stupid  when ben approaches the table  you can clearly sense that everyone immediatly feels uncomfortable  after lewis gives ben the money  he coldly says  i think it would be best if you didnt contact me again   now even though through the course of the film  some much more depressing things happen  this is when i felt the most for ben  there was such a look of sorrow and dispare on his face   not to sound hokey or anything  it almost brought a tear to my eye  it turns out that ben was once a semisuccessful hollywood player  and apparently a pretty popular guy  now he spends his time getting robbed by hookers and trying desperatly to pick up women  not so much for the sex  but for the company  for someone to talk to or spend time with  once he is fired from his job  ben decides to burn all his belongings  collect all his cash and relocate to las vegas to slowly drink himself to death  one night he runs into a prostitute  a brilliant performance by elizabeth shue  how far she has come since  adventures in babysitting   named sera  she is involved in an abusive relationship with her pimp  a scumbag who getsoff by cutting her  they are both very lonely  selfdestructive people  they immediatly hit it off  both of them realizing that they need one another  and it isnt even a sexual relationship  they dont even have sex until  like  the last ten minutes of the film   leaving las vegas  is not a film about plot  with the exception of what i have already revealed  which all happens in the first thirty minutes or so  by the way   there isnt too much of a story to it  it is more a film about people and how they react to one another  from what i can see  this is basically a perfect film  the direction is great  with mike figgis doing a brilliant mix between the glamor of las vegas and the moody  smokey atmosphere of a film noir  and it contains two of the best performances to come out of the 90s  or any other decade for that matter  but dont go rushing out to see this movie without knowing what youre getting yourself into  first off  if you are easily offended by frank sexual dialouge  stay away from  leaving las vegas   it is filled with lengthy discussions of orgasms  rape and various forms of perverted activities involving burbon  thats right   secondly  if you are not in the mood to see a very depressing film  dont see it  however  if you are cool with those two things  you are in for one of the most memorable experiences you will ever have  
pos	run lola run  a german import that gained a stellar reputation at the sundance film festival  is a dazzling and kinetic film that deals with the subjects of fate and chance  for a berserk and retroactive 81 minutes of nonstop movement  we follow a fieryhaired heroine named lola  franka potente  as she sprints to save her boyfriend from the clutches of drug dealers  lola has roughly twenty minutes to somehow retrieve 100  000 marks in time to save manni  moritz bleibtreu  from being killed by the dealer  but  in something of a pseudo groundhog day approach  director tom tykwer gives lola three separate chances to best navigate her way toward the goal  in these trio of episodes  we gradually learn the unique effects of fate  for even if tiny changes are made in lolas journey  the future can be seriously altered  run lola run is an experience like fight club or the matrix  in that each film takes you through a supercharged wormhole of bending reality in surreal and exciting ways  in addition  all three movies have a visual style that separates them from the rest of the pack  lola is no exception  with stylish quickflash camera work and cinematography that serves as scintillating eye candy from the getgo  tykwers world is a landscape of mood and color  with brilliant shades of red and pink  including lolas fiery hair  used as effective symbolism throughout  with its visual style and mindblowing pace  run lola run is one of the more invigorating movies of the year  even more so when considering the fact its all stuffed rather nonchalantly into an 81minute time period  as a heroine  potente does little more than run wildly through the streets  as the title suggests   but she has a certain flair and charisma  her exemplary running form made me wonder if she is actually a track star  meanwhile  bleibtreu does an equally fantastic job of bringing the dopey but passionate manni to life  both actors perform beyond the call of duty  the dazzling fun comes from predicting what each episode holds in store for lola  and the outcome is ultimately rewarding  several twists and turns are unique and unexpected  the other characters lola runs into  both purposely and inadvertently  include her banker father  herbert kraup  and a friendly security guard  armin rohde   but aside from the two leads  no one has more than a few minutes of screen time  additional stars that couldnt possibly be ignored are cinematographer frank griebe and editor mathilde bonnefroy  who are both responsible for the films eyecatching visual elegance  run lola run is subtitled  so be prepared to meet the challenge of reading the lightningfast dialogue  occasional sections of it are especially fast  this is only one of the minor chores involved in watching  the other is the sense that we never get to really recognize who the real people are in this hyperactive situation  most are just chess pieces in tykwers elaborate game of visual presentation  and he never really makes a significant move with any  but  the average viewer is likely to be so absorbed in the action that few will realize the lack of potency in a few elements of the screenplay  a few petty gripes aside  this film is a wild  exhilarating ride that turns maniacally on its wheel of originality  most people believe foreign films are mainly boring  talky character studies  perhaps run lola run will recharge their batteries  not only does this film offer insight into some intriguing questions of fate and destiny  it also delivers a whiteknuckle visual rollercoaster ride of overwhelming audacity  like how the experience must have been for the persistent title character  run lola run is exhausting  
pos	in  the sweet hereafter   writerdirector atom egoyan takes us beyond the tragedy of death into the tragedy of living  he shows us how it isnt dying that hurts  but rather the pain of living in the hereafter of death  and dealing with the loss and grief that it brings  on a cold winter day in a small  isolated town in british columbia  a school bus full of children slides off the highway and onto a frozen lake  where it cracks through the ice and sinks  fourteen children die  and numerous others are hurt  for the residents of this small town  all of whose children were on that bus  it is an earthshattering event that resolutely alters their lives  they have always relied on each other in the past to deal with heartache and pain  but it seems that this tragedy is more than they can handle  alberta and risa walker  who own a local motel and lost their child in the accident  hire an attorney named mitchell stephens  ian holm  to bring a lawsuit against someone  anyone for responsibility  the bus driver  dolores driscoll  gabrielle rose   is a kindly woman who loved the children and  although she lives with a burden of guilt  is not held responsible for the accident  the bus seems to have simply slipped on some ice  and there was nothing should could do to prevent it  however  according to stephens  there are no  accidents  in life  and someone will pay for this tragedy  whether that be the manufacturer of the bus or the guardrail the bus broke through  he goes through the town  approaching the parents who have lost children  asking them to join the class action suit and find vent for their anger  and  for his work  stephens will receive onethird of the settlement money  however  it is immediately apparent that stephens has little or no interest in the money  he is driven by something else  something deeper that he shares in common with the grieving parents  he has lost a child  too  but not in the same manner  his daughter  zoe  caerthan banks   who once almost died in his arms as a young child after a spider bite  has been in and out of drug rehab clinics and detox stations for ten years  she calls him on an irregular basis  begging him for money  but refusing to tell him what she needs it for   i dont know who im taking to   he tells her  in his mind  his daughter is dead  the lawsuit is  to stephens  not only a way to mend the towns pain  but also his own  however  not everyone in town wants it to happen  billy ansell  bruce greenwood   who was driving behind the bus when the accident happened and lost two children  wants nothing to do with it  he has already lost his wife  and he buries his grief in an affair with a married woman  he doesnt want to talk about the accident  and he sees the lawsuit as nothing more than the unnecessary opening of old wounds  to him  the town should be able to take care of its own pain  and it doesnt need outsiders like stephens getting in the way  central to  the sweet hereafter  is the tale of nicole burnell  sarah polley   a teenage girl who dreams of being a singer before the accident turned her into  a wheelchair girl   as she puts it  aside from stephens  nicole is the most complex character in the film  and it is she who ultimately decides the fate of the town and how the lawsuit will turn out  it is also her sad  haunted voice that we often hear on the soundtrack  reading robert brownings poem about the pied piper  and how when he led all the towns children away  one was left behind because he was crippled  obviously  nicole is that child  and she feels somehow betrayed that the rest of the towns children left her alone by dying in the wreck  her situation is further complicated because she is involved in a loving  but incestuous relationship with her father  tom mccamus   there is only one  fleeting scene that suggests this relationship  but it is somehow tied into the final act of the film  of all the storylines in  the sweet hereafter   this is the most complicated and unresolved  although its implications stretch throughout the entirety of the film  egoyan knows that the kinds of questions he brings up have no simple answers  if any at all  and he doesnt condescend to the audience by trying to neatly wrap it up  what egoyan has done in  the sweet hereafter  is really nothing short of miraculous  in his adaptation of the novel by russell banks  he has made a deeply moving film about a lawyer by transcending the pettiness of law and driving headlong into the deeper meaning of what is loss  and how pitiful monetary and material possessions are when compared to human life  egoyan has always been a talented  but distant and cerebral filmmaker whose work suffered only in that it felt so cold   the sweet hereafter  is quite the opposite  egoyans stylistic and narrative structures work brilliantly to heighten the impact of the natural emotion  and draw the audience into the tragedy   the sweet hereafter  seems to contain the combined emotional impact that all his other films lacked  the film is filled with beautiful  subtle performances from all the actors  especially ian holm as the lawyer and sarah polley as the sad child who was left behind  the beautiful  roving camerawork by paul sarossy and the haunting  melodic musical score by mychael danna  both previous egoyan collaborators  give the film a visual and aural cohesiveness with the thematic elements  like his earlier films  egoyan weaves together multiple storylines that form a blanketing whole  he works with time as a fluid substance  shifting back and forth between the past  the distant past  and the present with effortless ease  the actual bus wreck itself doesnt happen until midway through the film  but by that time the event has built up so much emotion that egoyan can film it from a distance with no graphic detail  and still have it carry great  devastating weight  because human life has become such a cheap commodity in movies  it is astounding that egoyan can convey so much heartbreak in such simple  direct terms  certainly one of the best films of 1997   the sweet hereafter  is a deeply rewarding  mystifying  and ultimately human film  
pos	when i first heard about scream in 1996  i was told that it was a spoof of horror movies  from the master of the horror himself  wes craven  it ridiculed the cliches of the genre by overemphasizing them  by making the teenagers do what they know theyre not supposed to do when a serial killer is stalking them  dont run up the stairs when you can easily go out the front door  never say  ill be right back   etc    when i first heard this description  i figured that it was an easy way out of making a bad movie  how hard is it to make an extremely terrible film but claim it is actually a mockery of other bad movies  was this wes cravens remedy from making  real  bad movies such as vampires in brooklyn  it just seemed cheap to me  then i actually saw the movie and the first twenty minutes  involving drew barrymore and a nailbitingly intense phone conversation  completely changed my attitude  scream is not only a clever parody of your standard horror flick  its also a pretty scary movie  if youve seen a million of these kinds of films  you know exactly what is going to happen  this is part of the fun of watching scream  the movie reminds avid horror fans how similar and repetitive the genre is and it also reminds them how great a guilty pleasure it can be to watch pointless and predictable violence to innocent  attractive teenagers  to those who rarely see these types of movies  scream is a thrilling unpredictable ride that could be mistaken as a serious slasher film  theres nothing wrong with that misjudgment though  i have witnessed viewers from both sides of the audience  the newbies to horror and the fanatics  their opinions on the film were so different but both very positive  from these varied reviews  i am convinced that scream has not only revived the teen horror movie and the normal teen romance movies but also the hilarious parodies of these and other categories  films that both deride and celebrate genres like galaxy quest and the big hit would not have existed  in my opinion  if it was not for the outstanding success of scream  the low  budget 1996 gem may  alongside pulp fiction  be the most influential film of the 1990s  this influence may exist to the chagrin of some moviegoers who despise movies like teaching mrs  tingle or television programs such as dawsons creek but to others such as myself  we congratulate the movie that has opened new doors for excellent young actors  screenwriters  and directors  scream is also an extremely funny movie thanks to its quicklypaced script by kevin williamson  within the film are characters who tell other characters  as well as the audience  the basic rules and cliches of a horror movie  mainly from the rants of randy  jamie kennedy  and stu  matthew lillard   we are reminded not only of the obvious and hilarious rules but also some of the more subtle stereotypes that when thought over are mostly true as well  the virgin always survives  have sex and youre dead meat   not only are we treated these rules on a plate but also the rules are referenced to a number of different films and actors  the script feels like an obsessive essay from a college film geek who has nothing better to do but find every little blunder from every little film for his own selfsatisfaction  in this case  williamson finds these errors for the audiences satisfaction and amusement  i hear there is a new movie coming out called scary movie which is a spoof of scream  which is a spoof of scary movies  i will certainly see the film but i have the feeling that this parody will be more obviously ridiculing the genre rather than screams perfect subtlety  however my last gut feeling about this stuff  scream  was dead wrong    so who knows  
pos	in present day hanoi  three sisters reflect on their parents relationship while trying to define their own in writerdirector tran anh hungs   the scent of green papaya    the vertical ray of the sun   youngest sister lien  tran nu yenkhe  greets the day with hai  ngo quanq hai   the only brother whom she rooms and relentlessly flirts with  their morning ritual of tai chi and lou reed precedes crossing the street to eldest sister suongs  nguyen nhu quynh  cafe  where lien works  for breakfast  the three sisters lovingly prepare their mothers memorial banquet of traditional delicacies  prepared as much for look as taste  while giggling over the differences between the sexes  after the family breaks from the banquet  we learn that suongs young son little monkey is doted upon  but theres a distance developing with her husband quoc  chu ngoc hung   whos leaving for one of his habitual botanical photography trips  middle sister khanh  tran manh cuong  tells her writer husband shes pregnant before he leaves on a trip to saigon to research tuan  a mysterious man in his motherinlaws past  lien keeps crawling into hais bed at night  causing him to fall out of it  the initial serenity we witnessed starts turning into a soap opera before coming to full circle one month later  as the three women prepare their fathers memorial banquet   the vertical ray of the sun  is a contemplative piece where strong passions exist underneath calm exteriors  sly humor  self deceit and harsh truths all exist in the cyclic screenplay  tran anh hung and his cinematographer mark lee pingbin   flowers of shanghai   linger over and repeat the small gestures of everyday life  a wife washes her husbands hands  a woman makes water dance in a bowl  a man pulls his lover to face him before they part  small spaces such as rooms  alleys and courtyards create intimacy  the color green  symbolizing life and tranquility  is used heavily in the films visual styling  lapsing into yellowish hues and blues  writerdirector tran anh hungs film recalls ang lees  eat drink man woman   another tale of three sisters of varying modernity coming together traditionally for a parent  but while lees more traditionally storydriven film resulted in radical changes for all concerned   the vertical ray of the suns  characters strive for peaceful harmony  watching it is like trailing your fingertips in a stream on a cool spring day  
pos	star wars  episode i  the phantom menace review a review by jamey hughton stars  starringliam neeson  ewan mcgregor  natalie portman and jake lloyd directorgeorge lucas rated g with all the hype that star wars  episode 1 the phantom menace has been receiving  it seems almost impossible to avoid interest in seeing the film  the movie is easily the most anticipated motion picture ever  with a marketing campaign so strong it has brought colonel sanders  the taco bell chihuahua and pizza hut together  can george lucas succeed yet again with transporting us back a long time ago  in a galaxy far  far away      yes  this star wars prequel may be the worst of the bunch  with amateurish dialogue and an overall lack of humanity  but that doesnt mean it fails to comply on the basis of solid entertainment  the phantom menace features the most eyecatching  jawdropping visual look in cinematic history  the tremendous action sequences will have you clinging to your arm rest  and the special effects are nothing short of the best  and most plentiful  to ever be caught on film  the vast digitized worlds and sheer imagination that was applied to this project is astounding  the phantom menace is a delectable feast for the senses  even if it has some disappointing aspects  after were treated to the famous prologue in the sky  with john williams thundering score  we meet quigon jonn  liam neeson  and young obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor   a jedi master and his trainee padawan  they are on the ship accommodating the fleet headquarters for the evil trade federation  and have been sent to settle disputes regarding the taxation of trade routes to the planet of naboo  oh  but enough about that  the prime concern for this prequel is introducing young anakin skywalker  jake lloyd  into the picture  as you already know  this seemingly charming lad is the boy who will soon become darth vader  a spectacular pod race comes soon hereafter  this particular race is the most exciting  energetic  highoctane action sequence that youll ever see  one of the delights of the series is meeting the newest set of strange alien creatures that lucas has devised  and the phantom menace is no exception  i loved sebulba  the ratlike scoundrel whom anakin has to face in the pod race  and boss nass  the leader of the gungans  who are a neighbouring species to naboo   one character who has been subject to criticism is jarjar binks  a member of the gungan race  jarjar speaks like roger rabbit on a hallucinogenic drug  and is there for the sole purpose of supplying comic relief  yes  he is initially annoying  but i can admit to laughing over some of his harmless  goofy antics  there is some lack of dramatic pull in this star wars entry  but the presentation almost makes you forget the plot and character lapses  the final lightsaber battle  between the jedis and the horrific  and terminally underused  villain darth maul  is spectacular to behold  jabba the hutt  yoda  c3po and r2d2 have cameo appearances  lucas has not forget how to captivate an audience  even if his latest shows obvious signs of tiredness  one can only wonder what the possible technology will present for the next two installments  episodes i and ii  when they arrive  youll know where to find me  
pos	bob the happy bastards quickie review  i must admit  no doubts single  new  is quite catchy  it was bouncy and energetic enough to get me to go see this new film from director doug limon  the man who had brought us the humorous swingers a little while back  the result  a movie thats just as good as that song  really  it follows the lives of several individuals over the course of one weekend  first we hear about a grocery bagger  sara polley  who runs into a monetary situation problem and ends up selling bogus drugs at a rave  with bad results  as a drug dealer feels hes been swindled by her   then comes the story of an english grocery store worker  same store  who heads to vegas for the weekend with friends  where sex  gunplay  and stolen car trouble come into play  then we see the story of two gay movie actors  played by scott wolf and jay mohr  who deal with a cops strange insurance presentation and hitting a girl  sara  with their car  and  finally  we come to another grocery worker  katie holmes  who has a strange fascination with said drug dealer  the one mentioned earlier   really  its all confusing to keep track of in review format  your best bet is to just  well  go  the movie features some very good acting from all angles  and limon adds the same humorous energy he had with swingers to this particular product  the dialogue is pretty snappy and the resolution is pretty well realized  not going for the sappy happy ending nor the dreaded bad ending  think of it as a  well  ending  the intertwining of stories is a particularly good element to the movie  as its never really confusing and tells different sides of the story  like sliding doors kinda did  however  its better suited for the younger generation who want a little spice in their flicks  which sliding doors kinda isnt  
pos	while watching  shallow grave   i found myself periodically noticing thematic similarities to the coens  blood simple   both are good films in which several characters  none of whom are the most conscientious to have walked the earth but still are not really evil  indulge in an act of deception that soon necessitates more serious crimes  the body count rises  and before long seemingly normal people have blood on their hands  both films are also flawed  but for different reasons   blood simple  is unrelentingly dark and moody  but its characterizations were a little hollow   shallow grave   on the other hand  is nearly flawless for an hour and twenty minutes  and then the filmmakers throw away much of what theyd accomplished for a more standard  audiencepleasing ending  the events of the film were sufficiently intense and disturbing that i honestly felt quite troubled by what i was witnessing on screen most of the time  yet there was a slight grin on my face at the end  as the film begins  we are introduced to alex  ewan mcgregor   juliet  kerry fox   and david  christopher eccleston   a scottish trio living in an apartment in glasgow  they are all sarcastic and occasionally obnoxious  but other than that they seem like a fairly normal bunch  a man named hugo moves into the apartments remaining vacancy  and the next morning he is found dead of a drug overdose  juliet is about to call the police when alex discovers that hugo had brought with him a suitcase filled to the brim with cash  presumably from criminal activities   the three eventually decide to keep the money and cover up the death  after a drawing of straws  the particularly unenviable task of mutilating the body so as to make it unidentifiable and burying it falls to david  who had been the most reluctant to partake in the scheme from the beginning  all of this transpires in the first twenty minutes or so of the film  and part of what makes  shallow grave  so brilliant for a while is that i honestly had no idea what was coming next  other than the obvious question of why they dont report the death and simply hide the cash  which is not addressed  the plotting and characterization  while sometimes predictable  worked in a way that kept my attention and  on more than one occasion  gave me chills  i will  therefore  attempt to continue this review in a way that doesnt give away too much of the plot  broadly  the trio are in danger due to hugos underworld connections  as two goons search for the money and kill several people in the process  a police inspector  ken stott  is clearly suspicious and visits the apartment  asking pointed questions and trying to unnerve the three suspects by exchanging banal and weirdly humorous bits of dialogue with a junior detective  david  meanwhile  becomes increasingly paranoid  moves into the attic  and develops an affinity for sharp objects  director danny boyle effectively creates an atmosphere of mounting tension and suspicion in the apartment  and finally the three seem ready to turn against each other  while i do not consider myself the  happy endings are automatically stupid  type  i thought that  shallow grave  really should have ended in tragedy  a realistic analysis of the story up to the last ten minutes of the film would indicate that all three characters were probably about to end up in prison  in the mental hospital  or in the morgue  this could have been accomplished  quite credibly  but then boyle and screenwriter john hodge seem to flinch and opt for a more conventional  caper  ending in which we get a kick out of seeing who outsmarted whom  and nothing more  granted  this isnt really a  happy  ending  but its still pretty lighthearted compared to what preceded it  i really shouldnt say anything more about the ending as far as details go  but let me add that it seemed not only shallow and lazy but also inconsistent with the rest of the film and not very believable  yes  this ending made me crack a smile for a couple of minutes  but ultimately it left me feeling as if id been cheated  still   shallow grave  was brilliant most of the way through  and it does at least meet the minimum requirements for an entertaining thriller  and i am therefore awarding it three stars  i guess i just cant help but think about that fourth star that boyle and hodge let slip away  
pos	since most movies about slavery shield us from the true horrors of what theyre portraying  its fitting to say that  beloved  come as a real shock as a film  its confusing  bizarre  and as tough a film to watch as any film ive seen all year  and thats not necessarily because of the threehour running time   beloved  is challenging to watch  filled with tough and powerful poetry that takes us completely off guard  and instead of a straightforward  hollywoodized story about what happened to the slaves after they were freed   beloved  comes off as a cry of anguish from all those who actually lived through what happened  or  rather  toni morrison  who wrote the novel upon which this is based    beloved  tells the story of an exslave named sethe  played by oprah winfrey  who lives on a large farm in the north with her children  when the film opens  her house is being terrorized by a poltergeist  which shakes things up  wounds the dog  and makes things generally uncomfortable for the family  sethe is proud  though  and will not move  her sons run away  leaving only her and her daughter  denver  kimberly elise  alone with the ghost which is there without any factual explanation  a couple years pass  and the ghost remains  and one day  a man named paul d  danny glover   another exslave who knew sethe years ago when they worked on a plantation together  arrives  asking for lodging  he has been wandering around since he left the plantation  and when he enters the house  it turns red and becomes incredibly hot  when he remarks about what he thinks is evil  sethe replies  it aint evil  its just sad   some more time passes  and paul d has become a fervent member of the household  and the ghost disappears  but when they return one day from going out  they discover a young woman sitting in the house  her name is beloved  and as played by thandie newton  she has almost zero motor skills  she stumbles around  halfgrabbing onto things and knocking them over  and when she speaks  she lets out a low guttural sound that eventually turns into baby talk  they let her into her house  and she begins to turn things upside down   beloved  acts like an incredibly difficult chamber drama paired with a ghost story  most of the scenes consist of people arguing in one claustrophobic  lowlit room  with the occasional flash to the past  where we see images of such horror that we thank god for modernday psychoanalysts  sethe and paul d have lived through such hellish times that they are forever implanted with the memories of their slavehood on the old plantation  which includes such images as sethe being raped by the white plantation hands  with her nipples being licked  prompting her to cry out to paul d when reminiscing about it   they took my milk   worst of all was the month after her freedom  when she was allowed to live like a free person  working with other blacks on a farm  and then seeing that her old plantation owners have arrived to presumedly take her and her children back  she runs to the barn near by  carrying her four children  and when her old owners burst in  they discover she has murdered one of them and is ready to murder the rest of them if they dont leave them alone  when she is inquired about this moment by paul d in a moment halfway through the film  she says she doesnt regret it  she killed her daughter so that she would not have to live through the horror she did  and she has convinced herself she did the right thing  of course  beloved is really her daugher materialized  though we arent flat out told that until later on in the film  beloved represents the pain and suffering the slaves went through and shows how difficult it was for them to deal with their freedom after being tortured for so long  thus   beloved  becomes a sortaredux of the andrei tarkofsky scifi classic   solaris   where a cosmonaut discovers that his wife  who commited suicide years before  has materialized when he is orbiting over a planet with a complex brain system  that film spoke volumes about humanity and our memories  how we are constantly regretting what happened in the past  and when if it ever literally came back to haunt us  it would control us completely   beloved  moves along freely  without a lot of explanation  and for the most part  this is extremely respectable  the most interesting films are the ones that dont explain everything for us  leaving gaps in the characters that we are supposed to fill in with how they act in the present tense  sethe is never fully explained as a character  but we understand all her actions since shes being played by oprah winfrey  its been well over a decade since her last major performance in  the color purple   but judging from these two films  ill bet shes one of the best actresses working today    if she was strictly an actress  her talk show  which i suppose is a great entity  has prevented her from becoming a noteworthy actress  and thats a shame because she brings so much to this movie  emotion  sadness  strength  watching the strong sethe  whos so afraid of the past that shes built a rather strong protective coating around herself  break down when she discovers who beloved really is is what makes this movie really great  she makes it real  thats not to say this is a perfect film  in fact  id wager to say that the fact that its confusing and painful to watch is what prevents this from being the truly great film it is  while oprahs performance is powerful and easily sympathetic  and im dying to see her win at least an oscar nomination this february   the structure of the film  which doesnt show what happened to her children till halfway through the film  prevents us from really making a cohesive connection to the film  it doesnt necessarily move as though theyre memories of one particular character  and by the end  it has lost control over sethe  and as she takes to bed  we are unable to truly identify with her anymore  but despite its tediousness  perhaps thats the point  the distancing by the end of the film may be just part of the way it has been built from the start  since they figure she has crossed over from being identifiable  and it needs to get back with reality  and for the most part  this film seems like the cry of pain from the slaves that it really wants to be  jonathan demmes direction is bizarre  in nature with the story  and he creates the right mood  making it a tough film to sit through  making sure that the audience feels as uncomfortable as the characters  theres more to admire here  like the way that the flashbacks pop up freely and without real organization  just like they would be in real life  and the way that the ending leaves it somewhat open to more pain and suffering  but laced with a touch of optimism  the acting  not only from winfrey  is amazing  and i anticipate not only she will get an oscar nomination  everyone has been raving about thandie newtons performance  and how it should be rewarded  however  it must be noted that out of everyone  she had the easiest part  act like a baby  throw things  stumble around  chew food with your mouth open  i do think theres another performance worthy of oscar conisderation  but its kimberly elise  as the daugher who has to stay sensible and sane  and has to carry the burden of her mothers loss of reality towards the end  its not that newton isnt great  shes as annoying and wacky as the role demands  its just that elise has the tougher job and pulls it off even better  despite the fact that this film has winfrey written all over it  and not that of writer morrison or director demme   beloved  has still not done well  costing  i think  around ninety million dollars  it has since grossed about twentytwo  unfortunately  this film is a little too intense for viewers  even for me  and i can stand almost anything  i recently viewed the 2 12 hour long epic  caligula   the worst film i have ever seen in my life  and did it in a mere 2 sittings   although i respect  beloved   i cant say that i really enjoyed it  
pos	usually a movie is about something more than a soiled rug  but not the big lebowski  the new offering from the creators of 1996s critical hit fargo  is to say the least  wildly entertaining  originality has always been a strong trait in the coen brothers movies  and the big lebowski is insanely original  it begins oddly enough when jeff  the dude  lebowski  jeff bridges  is mistaken for a millionaire  jeff  the big  lebowski  david huddleston   whos wife  bunny  tara reid  owes money all over town  two goons  out to collect on bunnys debt break into dudes house  they attempt to collect the money that bunny owes them and one of them urinates on his rug  the next day dude explains his situation to his bowling team  steve buscemi  john goodman  respectively   he is advised to go to the big lebowski and get him to pay for the defiled rug  he does this  and shortly after gets tied up in a kidnapping caper  this is a extremely funny movie with lots of belly laugh moments  the coen brothers have assembled a great cast that play off each other perfectly  also several great supporting roles  john turturro as a child molesting bowler named jesus  the coens script plays off perfectly and it all goes together to make it extremely entertaining  i doubt this movie will be nearly as popular as fargo  but its off the wall moments make it so far the best of 1998  if you like anything else the coen brothers have done you will love this one  if not they give this one a try its a little different  
pos	with the opening scene of a young couple in a van pulling up  loading their guns  kissing each other and uttering what sounds like  rock and roll    actually  its  lock and load    you cant help thinking tarantino  and of course with its storyline of a crazy girl and boy in love who turn to violent bank robbery  the film unapologetically takes its place alongside all those other films from bonnie  clyde to natural born killers  but if most of those movies have their roots in pulp fiction  exploring a modern myth of the doomed rebels on the run  normal life takes a much more psychologically realistic look at the phenomenon   inspired by true events   weve heard that one before  and yet in no other tale of violent couples has it seemed so solidly demonstrated    or so strangely poignant  for this is a story of real people whose lives take on a steadily unreal quality  who in their search for a normal life find themselves increasingly unhinged  beginning with their final arrest  the film goes back to trace the relationship between chris  luke perry   a policeman  and pam  ashley judd   a factory worker  they fall in love and marry  but pams increasingly erratic behaviour  going on spending sprees  slashing herself with a knife after an argument  begin to trouble the solid and stable chris  when chris gets sacked  they find themselves heavily in debt and near breaking up  then  chris begins to rob banks    luke perry accomplishes the notinconsiderable feat of making us nearly forget that he was ever in beverly hills 90210 or buffy the vampire slayer  moustached  with a tough paternal look and yet a voice and eyes that suggest sadness verging on exasperation  he is perfectly cast as the longsuffering husband   its another of john mcnaughtons coups of castingagainsttype  after transforming robert de niro into nerd and bill murray into gangster in mad dog and glory   but it is the character of pam who commands centrestage  and ashley judd rises to the challenge with great alternating currents of ferocity and tenderness  making pam into a fascinating yet often infuriating person  if the performance falls short of greatness  however  it is perhaps because the role of the mad woman has been done so often before it is virtually a staple of cinema  whether its in betty blue  tom  viv or georgia  as in those movies  theres the danger that the performance seems mannered  a collection of screwy tics and tantrums designed for the oscar presentation piece  judd doesnt entirely avoid this pitfall  but pams craziness is best and most movingly presented in counterpoint to the more normal chris  when pam reacts to her fatherinlaws death by showing up at the funeral in rollerblades and blaring headphones  chris face is the picture of pained restraint  of course  its the question of what is normal that is asked in normal life  mcnaughton constantly offers up the ironies of the aspirations for the average domestic life and its kinship with insanity  it is the rational chris that loves guns   shooting is about precision  control   and the crazy pam that loves astronomy and yearns for a dog  who is then called chaos   chaos and you and me    were a real family   she notes wryly   it is chris methodical mind and his knowledge of police procedure that allows him to be such a successful bank robber  his wellplanned disguise as a bearded  roaring man of terror is another piece of method in madness   in the carpark where he sets out for his first robbery  a huge sign on a shopping mall stands out in the background   buymore   the perfectly respectable consumptioncrazy american dream that has driven pam to her extravagant purchases  and both of them into desperate situations  its not a perfect film  some of the dialogue is a touch too banal  perhaps intentionally    the use of the punk hardcore soundtrack in pams crazed scenes comes rather too close to making emotional disturbance seem glamourous and sexy an image which only detracts from the rest of the film  indeed  as in mcnaughtons seminal film henry  portrait of a serial killer  it is the avoidance of glamour or sensationalism  the denial of some of the standard thrills of the outlaw film genre  that gives this determinedly unflashy  moving film its great strengths  mcnaughton has filmed this story with a quiet  coolly realistic method that works far better than any nbk theatrics at unsettling the viewer  the suburbs  with their miles of whitefenced houses and identikit malls  take on a sense of claustrophobic blankness  in its very different way  this makes for as haunting a backdrop as the wide open spaces in terence malicks badlands  while pam shares the yearnings of malicks heroes to escape from ordinary life  chris takes up crime precisely so that they can lead a normal life  their little house on the suburbs is financed by his violent robberies  but these are dreams defined by  constrained by  and even doomed by  the limitations of the normal  conventional world  pams final scene takes place at the edge of the suburbs  where wild bushes grow  symbolically the frontier  the outer limits of her society  but also quite literally the end of the road  where there is nowhere left to go but to the final tragic denouement  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
pos	its not often that i laugh so hard at a movie that my head hurts  but thats just what happened to me at uhf  weird al yankovics big screen debut  uhf is a television parody a la airplane  and like airplane  the movie is extraordinarily stupid  but its dumb in the best way a movie can be dumb  its so silly and outrageous its hilarious  the movie stars weird al as george newman  a world class nerd with a hyperactive imagination  the type who fantasizes hes indiana jones and who uses hostess twinkies as hot dog buns  george is basically a loser  his daydreams and smartalec attitude perpetually prevent him from holding onto a job for more than two weeks  but george finally gets a chance to funnel his creativity into something productive when his uncle wins channel 62 in a poker game and makes him the general manager of the struggling uhf television station  george revives channel 62 with innovative programming  shows like  wheel of fish  and movies like  conan  the librarian   as the stations ratings rise  it comes into competition with channel 8  the leading vhf networkaffiliate  as r  j  fletcherchannel 8s illnatured  hardnosed ownerveteran stage and film actor kevin mccarthy is flamboyantly sleazy  he really hams it up with his snorts  grimaces  and scowls  uhf satirizes anything and everything to do with television  including game shows  tabloid talk shows  childrens shows  dizzy news women  and movieseverything from rambo to close encounters  the funniest scene  the one that made my head spin  is a commercial for spatulas which has to be seen to be believed  like most movies in its genre  uhf is hit or miss  for every gag that works  at least one fizzles  for instance  weird als mock video of  money for nothing  by dire straits is only mildly amusing and brings the film to a grinding halt  although it does have some nifty computer animation   but the funniest bits in uhf are so hysterical that we can forgive the ones that fail  we know another gut wrencher is on the way  in fact  uhf hits the mark often enough to make it the most effective airplanetype movie since    well  since airplane  much of the credit goes to weird als exceptionally inventive script and to the movies winsome cast  weird al seems a little stiff at the beginning  but because hes not afraid to look silly  he ultimately has a lot of fun with his character  the real standout is michael richards as stanley  the dimwitted janitor who becomes the host of his own childrens show   stanley spadowskis playhouse   stanleys offbeat  mixedup personality is a big hit with the audience and makes him an overnight star  he is an endearing mixture of goodnatured innocence  highenergy enthusiasm  and puppydog cuteness  and above all  hes a good janitor who adores his work  another highlight is a vintage cameo by the incomparable emo philips  the cast also features gedde watanabe  the chinese foreignexchange student in sixteen candles  as the karate master who hosts the hit series   wheel of fish   also aboard for the ride is fran drescher  who plays pamela finklestein  channel 62s roving reporter  unfortunately  as weird als girlfriend  victoria jackson is wasted in a role that calls for nothing but whimpering  whining  and sulking  her character is extraneous and should have been either further integrated into the story or cut from the script altogether  while uhf is not an absolute mustsee  its definitely the ticket if youre looking for a wild and zany  whackedout comedy  the movie is good enough to see in the theaters  but it may work even better on television  the very medium at which it pokes fun  
pos	its hard not to recommend  the others   the supernatural thriller  written and directed by alejandro amen  bar   open your eyes    adroitly establishes and maintains a lowkey atmosphere of menace  the cinematography  by javier aguirresarobe  is as good as i have ever seen and nicole kidman gives another in her growing body of fine performances  but the pacing of the story moves from deliberate to downright sluggish and the payoff of the tale left me less than satisfied  overall  the film plays like a very high quality version of any number of old  twilight zone  episodes where the characters spend a great deal of time wandering about looking afraid and disoriented  only to learn they are actually a childs toy  a military test subject or a department store dummy  watching those vintage shows and listening to the players chatter  i always wanted to shout   get on with it   as much as i appreciated the atmosphere and acting in  the others   my reaction was much the same  set at an island mansion off the coast of england during world war ii  the story focuses on grace  kidman   who tends to her children anne  alakina mann  and nicholas  james bentley  and worries about her husband  charles  christopher eccleston   a missing serviceman  anne and nicholas suffer from photosensitivity and grace patrols the estate with the keys to all 50 doors  protecting the little ones from excess light by making sure that only one door is open at a time  at the beginning of the film  three servants  mrs  mills  fionnula flanagan   young  mute lydia  elaine cassidy   and mr  tuttle  eric sykes   an aging gardener  join the family  the two that speak seem agreeable enough at first  but it soon becomes apparent that they know something that grace does not  to make matters worse  the children are upset  nicholas is unusually jittery and anne claims to be seeing ghosts  grace attempts to blame the troubles on the new arrivals to her home  only to realize that whatever is happening is beyond them  thats essentially the whole story  with the tension growing until the pivotal moment when everything becomes clear  earlier  there is an outstanding scene where grace darts outside  only to be enveloped in fold after fold of shimmering fog  the visuals in the otherworldly sequence  courtesy of aguirresarobe  are simply astounding  i also enjoyed the presence of religion  a rarity in films dealing with the supernatural  grace is a christian and answers her childrens questions about life and death with the assurance of a devout worshiper  when mother is away  though  the kids speculate whether her statements are fact or folklore  just as real children do  but those nice touches fail to enliven a film that is too slow or make up for a lackluster ending   the others  sets out to be a classic ghost story  but fails to grasp that special something that makes such films more than layers of mist  
pos	 a private matter  is based on the true story of sherri finkbine and the events in her life during the 1960s  after becoming pregnant  for the fifth time  she learns that some tranquilizers she had taken have seriously deformed her unborn child  she and her husband decide  with the help of her doctor  to have an abortion  but this is the 1960s  and abortion is illegal  her doctor has made arrangements to have the procedure performed withing the law  by claiming that the child is endangering the mothers life  everything is about to work out just fine  until sherri has the uncontrollable urge to talk about her situation with a local reporter  this sets off a media frenzy and immediately sherri is the most hated woman in the world  she and her husband are fired from their jobs  reporters are surrounding their home at all times  and most importantly  no one in the country  and eventually other countries  will perform the abortion  this causes emotion problems for all involved   a private matter  is a fascinating story and its hard to believe that this only happened 30 years or so ago  its only flaw is that not once is there ever a satisfactory confrontation with sherri and any of her opponents  one woman passing her on the street telss her to burn in hell  and when sherri appropriately yells back   just tell me what im supposed to do   the woman has no answer  no one apparently had an answer  they just wanted to control what should have been only the choice of sherri and her husband  this is an important film  telling an important story  its not just about not wanting another child  its about not wanting a child who will cause severe changes in their family  none of which could be beneficial  sydney pollack served as executive producer for this made for hbo movie  
pos	director jan de bont certainly knows how to make top quality action films  you need look no further than die hard  he was director of photography   speed and last years twister for examples of his hi octane  edge of your seat thrill prowess  speed 2 is no exception  this time  the action takes place on a huge cruise liner  on which sandra bullock and jason patrick are trying to develop their relationship  yep  thats right  no keanu reeves this time  but fear not  jason patrick is more than up to the job  speaking of which  the job at hand is to stop completely bonkers terrorist  willem dafoe  from crashing the liner into a huge island  after stealing a diamond collection  the reason for this act of destruction is revenge  after years of working for the company that builds cruise liner computers  he contracts copper poisoning and is retired  naturally  what entails next is a lot of runningjumping about and general high quality action as jason patrick does his level best to save the day  thinking back on this film  you cant help  but admire its structure  the way  willem dafoe initiates his plan and throws red herrings to the crew and passengers  the race against time to save the liner from crashing  and of course  the finale chase scence   although this is ruined by an over the top  one too many stunt and explosion   simple in construction  effective in its execution  and the result  a clear and concise  highly enjoyable action film  the acting is adequate  although its darned obvious that sandra bullock is only in it to create a hot totty appeal to the men  and she does that perfectly    jason patrick fills the action hero role superbly and willem dafoe is just great as the crazed terrorist  overall  speed 2 is a most enjoyable thrill ride  not up to its predecessors high calibre but very good all the same  there is plenty going on  some of the thrills are quite tense and it also proves that you do not need blood and guts to make a good action movie  
pos	after indecent proposal and up close and personal  redford was wise to direct himself in a picture at last  redford may look great onscreen  but over the past few years  hes proven himself a bigger talent behind the camera  ordinary people is one of the best films of the nineteeneighties  and it was the first picture he helmed  while the milagro beanfield war was only occasionally successful at combining magicrealism with    um  realism  and ive never been much of a fan of a river runs through it  to the chagrin of many   quiz show was dazzling  energetic and convincing  the horse whisperer represents both his directorial return to nature films and the first time in that subgenre redford seems equally concerned with humans and scenery  scottthomas plays annie maclean  an uptight but respected new york magazine editor whose daughter grace  johanssen  loses a leg and a good friend when an early morning ride climaxes with their horses colliding with a semi  graces horse survived  but barely  and has gone mad  annie refuses to put the animal out of his misery  believing that if the horse heals it will mend graces newlybroken spirit  eventually  mother and daughter travel alone to montana to be with tom booker  redford   a famed  horse whisperer  who has a gift of calming horses with simple looks and touches  leaving busy husband neill behind  eventually  they move onto the booker ranch with the rest of toms family  and annie finds herself falling in love with all things montana  including  naturally  tom  the wise and lonely trainer  the horse whisperer is delicately made  i dare say lyrical  since to many peoples ear  that word is synonymous with boring  hardly  the horse whisperer has little to offer in the way of surprise  but it does have an honesty that is refreshing and consistently enjoyable to watch  especially in the final third of the story  scottthomas and johanssen seem like mother and daughter  and you have no doubt believing that the mountain vistas would put these new yorkers under a spell  especially since d  p  robert richardsons photography casts montana as heaven on earth   a gimmicky but effective technique the filmmakers employ is a switch in aspect ratio from squarish to widescreen when the central location shifts from new york to montana   the underrated sam neill turns in perhaps his most heartfelt  emotive performance as the niceguy husband  who is as authoritive and likeable as tom  he is indeed a refreshing change from the sexist  lout of a husband so many writers resort to as a shortcut for explaining away the cheating spouses motivation  unfortunately  one of the horse whisperers only flaws is the chemistry between wouldbe lovers scottthomas and redford  i liked both of them  but i didnt necessarily believe that redford would fall for such a cold fish  even if the countryside air thawed her slightly  luckily  and curiously   this is such a rich and textured movie that it doesnt quite mattertheir adultery seems like an afterthought  the obligatory subplot that ties many of the characters complex relationships together  
pos	sam  matthew broderick  is an astronomer in a small american town and engaged to teacher linda  kelly preston   he is head over heels in love and lindas sudden departure to new york city to live with her new lover anton  tch  ky karyo  comes as a complete surprise to him  but as we all know love is blind and so sam leaves for new york as well to win her back  he moves into an abandoned house across the street from antons apartment and installs a camera obscura to watch them  suddenly antons ex maggie shows up  but she does not want her former lover back  on the contrary  all she wants to do is vaporize him  she may say that she doesnt want to kill him  but the possibility doesnt bother her too much either  after all  people die every day  in spite of their different motives the two team up and fall for each other as things move on  the story sounds like something we all have seen a million times  but we havent  griffin dunne brings us the most charming comedy since  while you where sleeping   the camera obscura adds a  special something  to the movie and makes it an exceptional romantic comedy  everything about the movie is perfect  from set design to casting  the dialogues are inspired and the touches of black humor add a certain bite  meg ryan  known from  when harry met sally  or  sleepless in seattle   surprises in a role that may finally help her get rid of her sweet little girl image  she impresses the viewer as a maneating biker girl  even more surprising is the fact that the viewer believes her  much more so than in last years  courage under fire  where she played a gulf war pilot  matthew broderick is the goodnatured and somewhat naive sam who has trouble accepting reality  the viewer can tell that he doesnt only watch the stars but also tries to reach out for them  he has trouble keeping in touch with reality  after all  who would leave everything behind to chase a lost love  his naivet  that we dont question for a minute throughout the movie clashes with maggies exaggerated wish for revenge  she would do anything to harm anton  she doesnt hesitate to use sam for her plan and makes him understand right from the beginning that nothing will happen between the two of them  that makes the scenes when they innocently share a bed  have potatoe chips and watch the action across the street like a saturday night show on tv even funnier  tch  ky karyo is perfect as anton  he is  well  repulsive  thats all there is to say about him  you cant really manage to pity him  even after all his mishaps  he not only took sams bride away from him  he is also a french chef  worlds collide  i  e  the usa and france  this can only go wrong  even if maggies revenge schemes are at times shocking  you just cant sympathize with a man who plays  je taime    moi non plus  on his tape deck  not everyone is captured by the french charme that linda and even maggie fell for  sam certainly isnt  too bad for anton  for him things take a turn to the worse   addicted to love  is one of this years most pleasant surprises  
pos	copyright 1996 graeme huggan carry on henry is all about henry viii and his eight wives  sid james plays henry  who no sooner has the film started  is getting rid of his present queen and hopes to find another one soon  as part of his alliance with france  he requests the handinmarriage to the queen of normandy  joan sims   she comes to england in the hope of marrying henry but when he finds out that she loves garlic and has a reeking garlic breath  he is totally averse to the idea of marriage  henrys court is very corrupt  with the cardinal  terry scott  trying to bribe cromwell  kenneth williams  and cromwell trying to bribe the king  there is a state of crisis when the king puts marie the queen  sims  in the tower of london ready for execution  the queen is pregnant but she has not liased with the king before  so fingers are pointed at sir roger de lodgerley played by charles hawtrey  who has a rather lecherous character to play this time  the cardinal and cromwell decide to get a signed confession from sir roger by using all kinds of torture devices  owing to circumstances  sir roger is sometimes needed to sign that he is the father and sometimes that he isnt  this is because of renewed threats by the king of france  peter gilmore  to come over himself  which in the end he does  by then  henry has found himself a new queen  played by none other than barbara windsor  it looks like he has some explaining to do  there are standout performances by sid james as henry  joan sims as marie  and terry scott in an unusual role as the cardinal  also there are cameos from kenneth connor and peter butterworth  who plays barbaras father  the set and costume design is first class and the overall production of this film is good  there is even an early appearance from david prowse  who later became the green cross code man and darth vader  the film does have its downsides though  as it is getting pretty routine for the carryon team to stage historical films and the inventive streak of the script seems to run out pretty quickly  there is also the absence of hattie jacques and bernard bresslaw  who could have helped the film along  however  overall the film is funny and there are plenty of laughs and saucy jokes  so that is why i mainly recommend it to carry on fans only  but there is enough humour in the film to make it worth anyones while to sit down and watch it  
pos	this  dumb  cowboy blondie who thinks he is a darn good loverboy  decides to leave his dusty ol town somewhere in texas and go to new york  he puts on his beloved cowboy attire and off he hops on the next new york coach  when he arrives to new york  he immediately sets out to play mr playboy thinking he is the best darn stud in the wholo new york city  obviously he fails  he meets the cripple rico  dustin hoffman  who is terrifically good  in a bar  rico has a leg that is paralysed from the knee down  so he walks in a peculiar way  rico is a thief and wants to get some money off this rich dumb cowboy  he cheats our cowboy out of 20 through a somewhat detailed routine and disappears  soon  our cowboy runs out of money  he gets kicked out of his hotel  and starts getting hungry  walking through the city  with  everybodys talkin  playing in the background  oh  and his prided techno transistor radio in hand   he spots rico in a cafe  rico  halfscared  pours out all the money in his pocket  60 filthy cents  our cowboy  hungry  is forgiving  he is glad he found someone he knows  rico offers to make it up for him  and he invites him to his place  and what a filthy  cold place it is  our cowboy falls asleep instantly in the  junk  bed  when he finally wakes  jumps   up  he finds rico looking at him   you wanna cupacoffee   rico asks in his friendly  sleazy  somewhatchildish manner while he smokes on a ciggy   whatre you  a goddamn faggot  what do you want from me  where are my shoes  what did you do to them   but all his doubts turn out to be unfounded  rico really has a heart  together  they live in the junk apartment and almost freeze to death  rico is convinced that the best place to be is florida  where the sun shines beautifully and there are lots of coconut trees  but he falls sick and is convinced that his cure is to go to florida   we will soon be in miami  is the last sentence uttered in this film and what a shocking  moving end of a film it is  the classic theme music   midnight cowboy  helps bring about the feeling of attachment that most viewers will experience towards the end of the film  whether the attachment is to the two main characters or to their dreams  is probably as debatable as whether it was the acting or the direction that makes this film so memorable  
pos	playwright tom stoppard and screenwriter marc norman took on an astonishingly difficult task  they wanted to write a script about william shakespeare that parallels shakespeares works  they also wanted to poke fun at the way all of us envision shakespeare  i mean  really  who doesnt think of shakespeare as a guy seething with so much passion that he can barely write a play without exploding into a passionate  introspective verbal couplet of iambic pentameter  stoppard and norman are men who love shakespeare  and they wanted to make a movie for everyone else who loves shakespeare  and  despite the difficulty of their task  they have succeeded  shakespeare in love is one of the smartest  funniest  most touching films of the year  its so rare that a picture with such high aspirations succeeds in all of its endeavors  but here we have a movie that defines success  it is at once charmingly acted and flawlessly written  it could have been a smug  selfimportant movie that panders to diehard shakespeare fans  but the appeal of this film is almost universal  if youve ever read a play by shakespeare  or know anything about his life  its likely that youll find grand entertainment in shakespeare in love  joseph fiennes  brother of ralph  stars as shakespeare himself  hes a delightful  irresistible lad  concerned mostly with women and detached from lifes more serious problems  debt  plague  etc    hes commissioned to write plays for various people  queen elizabeth  judi dench  wants comedies  while local slimeball philip henslowe  geoffrey rush  needs him to write a play so that he can pay off his debts to hugh fennymann  tom wilkinson   shakespeare  however  has trouble focusing on his work  he begins work on a comedy about a boy named romeo and a girl named ethel  this all changes  however  when he meets viola de lesseps  a radiant gwyneth paltrow   a young heiress set to marry the financiallyoriented lord wessex  colin firth   shakespeare instantly falls in love with her  he first meets her when she pretends to be a man to try out for the part of romeo  he discovers her identity and confronts her later  she  of course  falls in love with him  although their love is doomed because she absolutely must marry the tyrannical lord wessex  but she continues to act because she loves shakespeares writing so much  and soon the production  which later becomes romeo and juliet  is set to be performed  shakespeare in love is an amazingly good film  not because it works as great entertainment  but because it pays attention to detail and knows its subject matter  i was instantly won over by joseph fiennes in the lead role  he has such searing optimism and energy  hes clearly a man who admires shakespeare  and even in the shortcomings that he gives his character  inability to turn away from women  attention deficit disorder   we sense a great deal of affection and care  he practically overflows with passion in every scene  fiennes is matched by paltrow  whose english accent is so good that wonder where she actually comes from   she is an actress who exudes strength and conviction in every performance ive seen her in  the two performers work perfectly together  taking the passionate scenes as far as possible without making them melodramatic  and wringing the comedic scenes for every conceivable laugh  of course  it doesnt hurt that they have a masterful script to work with  stoppard  whose play rozencrantz and guildenstern are dead inspired an interesting film  is full of dry wit and boundless understated humor  all of his plays have similarly dry humor   the first intelligent step stoppard and norman took was harmonizing the events of the film with romeo and juliet  one of the funniest scenes in the film is an imitation of the famous terrace scene from the play  in the movie  shakespeare is bumbling about while viola is trying to fend off her nurse maid  director john madden does a fantastic job dabbling in slapstick humor  scenes like these would have seemed obtuse in the hands of a lesser director  im going to have to see the movie again  im certain there are numerous references that i missed  in fact  i doubt its possible to gather everything with just one viewing  stoppard is a master of detail  youll notice familiar lines placed throughout the film  not as lines of a play  but as dialogue  suggesting that shakespeare simply spoke like that all the time  theres also a brilliant running joke in which shakespeare is in constant competition with christopher marlowe  and the fact that marlowe is played by the openlyhomosexual rupert everett is a joke in of itself   proposing a slightly twisted explanation to marlowes mysterious death in a pub  theres also a scene featuring a wideeyed dog that is so funny that i hurt myself laughing   theres no dog in this play    no  no dog   the ensemble cast is perhaps the strongest this year  geoffrey rush is nearly unrecognizable as the detestable henslowe  wilkinson is also hard to recognize  but has a great role as a thug who takes his part as the apothecary so seriously  ben affleck  playing one of the actors in the company  shows great range  both in his accent  his is almost as good as paltrows  and in humor  he has some of the best oneliners in the movie   colin firth  always stuck playing the sap  does a good job being hateful  judi dench  however  has the best supporting performance as queen elizabeth  rarely has so much depth been conveyed in so few words  my single  minor complaint about shakespeare in love is that i feel like i could have been more moved by the end  the story is moving  but there are a few missed opportunities in the final scenes  but my quibbling is not important  what is important is that i acknowledge the quality of this picture  the sheer skill with which it has been written  acted  and produced  shakespeare in love tries so many things  and nails every one of them  its a film that both loves shakespeare and makes fun of him  a film in which the actors  writers  and director are all perfectly in sync  its also a movie that has the potential to introduce a lot of people to shakespeares work in a positive way  without seeming condescending or superior  i admire this film not only because it passes so pleasantly  but because it has lofty aspirations and succeeds in them  not just any film can poke fun at shakespeare and get away with it  
pos	titantic  writer and director james camerons much anticipated and sometimes ridiculed 200  000  000 epic  arrives shortly into the theaters so the question naturally arises  whether the film is worth it  as a business proposition  it seems hard to see how it can ever break even  but as a movie it is nothing short of wonderful  if youve already neatly categorized it as yet another disaster movie a la volcano or the poseidon adventure  think again  the movie is both a great love story told with the disaster as a backdrop and a portrayal of one of the worlds most memorable disasters made real and personal by seeing it through the eyes of two young lovers  in either case  it is filmmaking at its best  when we entered the press screening  my wife asked the publicity rep if there would be an intermission since the film runs three and a quarter hours long  he said no but that the time would go by so fast shed never notice the length  amazingly  he was right  titanic is one of the few long films that doesnt suffer because of it  the lush picture  filmed by russell carpenter in 70mm  opens in the present with two diving subs exploring the wreck of the titanic on the bottom of the ocean  fortune hunter brock lovett  bill paxton  leads the expedition looking for the worlds most valuable diamond necklace that went down with the ship  known back then as  the ship of dreams   the necklaces hundredyearold former owner  rose dewitt bukater  gloria stuart   finds brock to tell him her story  although almost all of the movie happens in flashback  one of the engineers shows the elderly rose exactly how the ship was sunk  using a computer simulation  the movie takes the time to explain what will happen later  which adds immensely to making a lucid story out of what would have otherwise been hopelessly confusing  after twenty minutes  the story makes its jump to the past as the titanic leaves on her maiden voyage  in a classic movie theme  the two parts of the ship  first class and steerage  thirdclass  exist in sharp contrast  the strength of the script is the way it paints the differences between rich and poor without excessive moralizing  entering the ship on its day out is rose along with her millionaire fiance  cal hockley  played with perfect snobbishness by billy zane  and thanks to a last minute winning poker hand  an itinerant artist named jack dawson gets himself into a little shared cabin in third class  even with her own promenade deck  rose feels trapped on the ship  what with an upcoming marriage to a man she loathes  in contrast  jack can barely contain his euphoria at being on board  after jack saves rose from committing suicide  they start a brief but impassioned love affair  never tawdry and rarely explicit  their romance has the power to sweep the audience into the story  leonardo dicaprio in his best performance ever plays jack with confidence and charisma  in so many ways  small and large  he makes all the right decisions in his approach to the part  when he confronts cal  for example  he remains composed and polite and yet subtly undermines every one of cals supercilious putdowns  kate winslet gives a wonderfully captivating performance as young rose  the chemistry between these two academy award nominees  him for whats eating gilbert grape and her for sense and sensibility  is nothing short of astonishing  from the scene where he embarrasses her by repeatedly asking if she loves her finace to the beautiful one of them hanging off the ships bow to the one where she embarrasses him by asking him to paint her nude  they dazzle the screen with a pair of mesmerizing performances  if the film breaks after an hour and a half  which is how long cameron wisely waits to have the iceberg show up  you will still get one of the best films of the year  peter lamonts sets are more than authentic  one scene  for example  starts with the planningtoretire captain  played with insouciance by bernard hill  having his tea on deck  it then shifts to the ships massive gears and then to the brighthot boiler room filled with sweating muscular men shoveling in the coals  the handsome interior common rooms of the ship resemble a palace more than an ocean liner  easily the most fascinating part of the story is what happens after the iceberg hits and before the battle with the water begins in earnest  at first  since the iceberg tears a series of little gashes in the hull  not some big gaping hole  the passengers view the hit as more of curiosity than anything else  what a lark  weve struck an iceberg  now lets get back to our brandy and cigars  the ships musicians play like troopers through it all  even after the panic sets in  after all  they see it as their duty to calm the passengers  when the musicians are about to die  they politely thank each other for the pleasure of being able to play together  and they mean it  their civility borders on insanity  but it is touching nevertheless  the story is so rich that my description has merely touched the surface  there are more than enough characters to love and to hate  and all of the casting is deadon  special effects work best when their presence becomes almost undetectable  in titanic  for which he created a ninetenths scale model of the entire ship  cameron strove for accuracy at all costs  the most dramatic moment in the film happens when the ship breaks in two  and the front section becomes vertical in the water  people are flung like ants either into the water to be shortly frozen to death or into other parts of the ship to be crushed immediately  besides being romantic and dramatic  the script includes liberal doses of humor  from the many deliciously subtle verbal putdowns to the physical comedy  as when jack teaches rose to spit like a man  the show elicits laughter in addition to perhaps a few tears   its goodbye for a little while   a less than confident father tells his little girl since it was indeed women and children first   this boats for mommies and children  therell be a boat in a little while for daddies   basically there was a design decision to have fewer than half of the necessary life boats  it made the decks look too crowded otherwise  perhaps the sinking is best summarized by one of the guggenheims onboard the ship  in the dining room with the lifeboats gone and the ship certain to sink  he is offered a life jacket by one of the crew   no thanks   the elegantly attired guggenheim replies   were dressed in our best and would prefer to go down like gentlemen  but we would like a brandy   titanic runs 3  14  it is rated pg13 for tastefully and delicately presented sex and nudity and would be fine for kids twelve and up  
pos	the sweet hereafter could serve as a textbook example of the difference between television movies and  real  movies  consider for a moment what a television producer would do with a book that features a fatal school bus accident and a lawyer out to sign up the bereaved  lots of hot sensationalism interrupted with breaks to sell beer and toothpaste  topflight writer and director atom egoyan delivers instead a film with tremendous power whose most notable trait is its touching subtlety  based on a respected book of the same name by author russell banks  the movie represents a rethinking of the storys structure  not merely a literal adaptation of the novel  told in linear form by four narrators in the book  egoyans version happens instead in overlapping time sequences and without a narrator  the author is even on record as applauding egoyans changes  in the press notes the books author describes the story as  a parable of lost children   he says it asks what a town does in the absence of its children  picking up on this  egoyan has a flashback in which a sitter  nicole burnell  played with grace by sarah polley  reads parts of  the pied piper  from an old  illustrated book to her two charges  periodically throughout the picture  nicoles readings are heard in voiceover  you have never heard this moving poem read so sweetly or in such an appropriate moment  they and the rest of the towns children come into harms way  some live and others are seriously injured  and the entire small canadian town where the accident occurs is never the same again  although the physical damage is inflicted mainly on the children  the adults bear the emotional scars of the loss  ian holm  in arguably the best performance of his distinguished career  plays mitchell stephens  an intense man of quiet misery  mitchell is the outsider in the story set in a small  snowencrusted community in the british columbian wilderness  his mission there is a singular one  to sign up the parents so that he can sue someone  anyone  on their behalf  if this seems crass  well it is  but mitchell approaches his job with the dedication of a religious zealot  the story unfolds slowly and always believably  each little aspect has its own fascination  as mitchell interviews wendell and rita walker  played with quiet realism by maury chaykin and alberta watson  he has a simple task  he wants them to suggest some model couple in the village who has a lost a child so that he can use that couple to form the basis of the suit  wendell ticks off one town member after another and then  as one can in a small town  enumerates each persons numerous faults  although the town is no peyton place  people there do have their foibles  one of the best parents in the town appears to be billy ansell  bruce greenwood   who rides his pickup behind the school bus everyday just so he can wave goodbye to his kids  well  single parent billys fault is that he has regularly scheduled trysts with the married rita  his confessions to rita about his feelings of loss are one of the many heartfelt outpourings in the story  the accident itself  a simple one of a bus hitting a patch of ice  isnt shown until the middle of the picture  but  nevertheless  the mystery about it builds throughout the film  although the picture is no detective story  finding out exactly what happened is a subtheme in a movie that is primarily a character study of a town gripped by tragedy  as the injured bus driver  gabrielle rose  dolores driscoll plays the role of a dedicated individual who loves kids with a passion and for whom the tragedy takes on special meaning  to round out the story  mitchell has his own private tragedy to bear  his daughter zoe  caerthan banks  is a drug addict who has bounced in and out of one halfway house and recovery center after another  fond of calling her dad on his cell phone so she can ask for money or help  she interrupts him at many emotionally charged moments as he attempts to sign up the townsfolk    i can help you   mitchell tries to reassure billy   not unless you can raise the dead   billy snaps back  mitchells pitch is never an easy one and worrying about zoe only makes it harder   mychael dannas haunting music sets the stage for tragedy  the cinematography by paul sarossy is sweeping in its outdoor grandeur  but it is in the warm  shadowy  intimate moments indoors where it works best  the show  which is ripe for emotional manipulation  never plays with its audience  still  when the house lights go up  you may feel as i did  i could barely breathe  i was so overcome by the sum total of what i had witnessed  more than anything  the film is like a master painting  each cinematic brush stroke is carefully laid down by egoyan with the beauty building with each dollop of paint  with the final color in place  the masterpiece is complete  and the ending credits roll  the sweet hereafter runs 1  50  it is rated r for mature themes  sexuality and some profanity and would be fine teenagers  
pos	 warning to those who have not seen seven  this review contains some spoiler information   seven is a powerful  fullyrealized film on the level of the silence of the lambs  it is a disturbing film that accomplishes its biggest of goalsit occupies the viewers mind long after the closing credits have rolled  while this film is not for the squeamish  there is no denying that seven demands attention  for it is a film that transcends its genre in both style and substance  for starters  classifying seven as a  thriller  would not be an altogether complete classification of this film  while i was genuinely thrilled throughout  i would rather call seven an  intense drama   because that is what it deliversmeaningful scenes with a relentlessness that does not readily let up  part of director david finchers accomplishment is in style  he seems to have a knack for knowing exactly how the average person fears something as  simple  as a corpse  and visually  fincher shows us the remains of murder victims in alltoorealistic and graphic terms  courtesy of rob bottins alwaysgrisly special effects   throw in the appropriate but nottobeunderestimated effects of lighting and a foreboding score and the result is a technical masterpiece of the murder scene  these scenes alone are quite impressive  as fascinating as they are harrowing  yet  seven is more than just a technical accomplishment  in addition to style  fincher supplies substance  seven has compelling characters that it wants us to know and understand  and fincher ties them all together in a completely pessimistic view of society  detective william somerset  morgan freeman  is a man who has nearly given up on the world  its easy to see why  the world doesnt make sense   somerset drives this point home with a rather ghastly story of a robbery victim who was attacked just blocks from the police precinct  after knocked down and robbed of his wallet  the attacker stabbed the helpless man in both eyes   why should somerset believe that by following this murder investigation and  picking up the pieces  he will be able to catch the killer  somersets new partner  david mills  brad pitt  has not given up on the world  perhaps because he is still young  and perhaps by having this optimism hes naive in this films portrayal of the world   he completely disagrees with somersets abandonment of hope  however  davids wife  gwyneth paltrow  has so much fear of her urban surroundings  she isnt even sure if she wants to  tell  her husband about her recent pregnancy  let alone carry it until birth and attempt to raise it in this environment  these three characters are all performed with skill and authenticity that makes them feel like real people and not the typical hollywood characters a lesser film might have offered  and in addition to making clear how each of these characters sees the world  fincher gives us support for  why  they feel the way they do  but if theres one character that underlines the message seven is trying to convey  it has to be the killer  john doe  kevin spacey   sevens payoff lies in its ability to allow us to see how the killer views the world and what drives him to do what he does  one important thing to remember about doe is how easy it is to simply dismiss him as a  psycho   with no motives behind his slayings  this is exactly the mistake mills makes  in the extremely intense and superbly performed closing scenes  were allowed to see that doe is  in his mind  merely a product of society  hes a killer who kills those who are bringing society down  in his mind he didnt kill  innocent  people  and  perhaps  they were not completely innocent  but  then again  who is    hes absolutely infuriated that mills believes that the murder victims were innocent  really  seven doesnt just comment on the superficial obviousness of how screwedup john doe is  seven makes larger statements about how screwedup society is  hinting that societys degradation is simply conducive of creating more john does  besides the stylistic and largerissue arguments for seeing this film  i recommend seven because it is  after all  also a very slick and wellmade thriller  it features exciting plot developments  commanding performances  lots of suspense  and a conclusion that is chilling  riveting  and quite unfair  but then again  its a cruel world  
pos	modern audiences are more likely to be familiar with les misirables from the popbroadway musical rather than victor hugos original tome  adapted several times for the cinema  this latest effort does a superb job of translating the characters  story  and heart of the novel to the screen  liam neeson stars as jean valjean  as a young man  valjean stole some bread to satisfy his hunger    and he was sentenced to 19 years of hard labor for his crimes  prison hardened him  and on his release he seems doomed to a life of crime and squalor  however  an unexpected act of compassion changes his outlook on life  and he vows to become a better man  however  he runs up against one man who doesnt believe in reform  inspector javert  geoffrey rush  is an obsessive law abider  he has no tolerance for anyone who breaks the rules  even with benign intentions  he once served as a guard at the labor camp where valjean served  and after valjean breaks his parole  javert devotes himself to bringing him to justice  two women also get caught up in the struggle  fantine  uma thurman  is an unwed mother suffocating in an unforgiving society  her daughter  cosette  mimi newman  and later  claire danes   is her life  yet she cannot afford to raise her  instead  cosette is sent to live with a cruel foster family which extorts money from fantine  and forces cosette into a life little better than a slave  director bille august manages to create a faithful adaptation of victor hugos novel  which  though omitting some of the political undertones  remains true to the overall story and tone of the book  hopefully you wont  as some clueless members of the audience did  wonder where all the songs went  the movie manages to be completely engrossing without the andrew lloyd webber flourishes  the experience is bolstered by strong performances throughout  though neeson and rush deservedly take center stage with their core roles  neeson in particular deserves kudos for his portrayal of a man trying to do good  but continually haunted by his past  the supporting cast is also extraordinary  the only actor who dims in comparison is hans matheson  playing the revolutionary  marius  the film slightly loses its luster during his brief love affair  but it is transitory  and truly only distracting when contrasted with the rest of the film  the novel les misirables is  by any account  an epic  both in its scope and in its length  while it would be nearly impossible to cram everything from its pages into a two hour movie  this latest attempt does an admirable job at the translation  it  too  is an epic    and one worth seeing  
pos	i was born in 1970  which makes me barely old enough to remember bell buttons  8 tracks and disco  however  since i was 17 years old ive seen more than my share of adult films  i mention this only because i thinks its important to state up front that im not against pornogrpahy  ive seen enough of these films to know the range of content and quality available  director paul thomas andersons boogie nights offers us a view into the world of porn during the period considered to be the golden age of adult cinema  the mid to late 70s  this was the period when xrated movies were real movies  shot on film  shown in movie theaters and even reviewed by legitimate critics  this was an age when porn directors actually aspired to make innovative often educational films  films that attempted to tell a real story  one of the more fascinating aspects of this film is how  like in an any other billion dollar industry  the creative visionaries tend to be ignorant to the trends that will soon make them obsolete  in this case  the arrival of the now ubiquitous videocassette  burt reynolds manages to resuscitate his career portraying such an auteur  known as jack horner  horners has a steady  family  of performers  some of whom live in his plush l  a  home  but in the world of porn  performers are a commodity  the fresher  the better  when horner scouts a fresh faced stud bussing tables at his favorite discotheque  he decides to add him to his stable  it is a pairing that leads to a meteoric rise and fall for a young man reaching his prime and an old man rapidly speeding past his  as directed by anderson  the camera moves through many of the scenes with an eerie omnipresence and an almost childlike curiosity to peer beyond the closed door  boogie nights provides a voyeuristic peep into the underbelly of l  a  s hardcore film scene  but the peep show doesnut let us walk away when the titillation ends  the downside of voyeurism is sometimes we end up seeing things we wish we hadnut  by the films final image  what we we once found titillating has now become a grim reminder of the vanity of fame and the high price of realizing your dreams  boogie nights is not about sex  it does not glorify porn or the lifestyles of the performers  in fact  the film isnt really about pornography at all  pornography is merely the setting to tell a compelling story about a lost and forgotten group of people who form their own subculture to find acceptance of who they are  the film goes to brilliant  often hilarious and sometimes harrowing lengths to show us that the people who choose to produce or perform in these films are generally not all that bright and lack the basic tools to function in the mainstream world  yet  like in the lauded tarantino films  these people still have their own moral code  their own concepts of integrity and their own needs to experess themselves creatively  the characters we meet are like a road map of dysfuntion  first stop  the den mother  julianne moore  in denial about her addiction to cocaine as she tries to retain custody of her son  second stop  the cuckold crewman  william h  macy  who keeps discovering his wife having sex with anyone and everyone  the wife is played in hilarious cameos by reallife porn star nina hartley   but the driving force behind the plot is 17 year old eddie adams  eddie is blessed with a natural endowment so famous that people actually pay just to see it  with no real ambition of his own  he hooks up with jack horner to fullfill his destiny of fame  his alcoholic mother  clearly dissatisfied with her own lot  abuses him verbally and drives him out of the house  horner introduces him to amber waves  moore  who immediately adopts him  a nuclear family is born  the surrogate relationship that develops between amber waves and her  babies  provides some of the films most poignant scenes  clearly  she is not even fit to manage her own life  let alone nurture these lost children  but the need to love and be loved is so strong  they easily ignore the dangers of the less subtle addiction she introduces them to  even the viewer is somehow lulled into feeling like the love she offers is similar to being in a real family  then again  perhaps its not so different from real families at all  eddie adams  who later takes on the screen name  dirk diggler   is skillfully acted by former popstar  mark wahlberg  i say  former  pop star because with this performance wahlberg can officially quit his day job  this is bold and brave territory for such a young man  he pulls it off marvelously  wahlberg is a  big  bright star  with a big bright future  boogie nights plays very much in the spirit of the people versus larry flynt  without the first amendment preachiness  its intimate studies of character make it the superior film  wahlbergs surprising performance is on par with woody harrelsons  but in my opinion  boogie nights  is not the best film of the year  i got the feeling that itus 2 12 hour running time could have been cut by 15 or 20 minutes without losing any of its resonance  still  if the subject matter of this film intimidates you  thereus no doubt that once you start watching boogie nights you may still feel like its not your thing  but youull find yourself grooving to it anyway    ya know  kinda like disco  
pos	i remember making a pact  right after patch adams  to not be easily be suckered by movies dripping with sentimentality  but darn it  music of the heart is just layered with feelgood material and bright characterizations  its hard to dislike a movie that uses such skill with its manipulation  in addition  its also a terrific family film  this is the true story of violin teacher roberta guaspari  who fought the school board to keep the musical program active in a handful of inner city harlem schools  it could also be described as mrs  streeps opus  yes  meryl streep brings her dramatic clout to the demanding role of guaspari  and that brings both good news and bad  out of the gate  possibly because of her distracting star power and the rushed writing  it is relatively difficult to identify with robertas character and grasp her academic pointofview  she is very strict with her students  but what insight does that create into the story  slowly but surely  we begin to recognize the intentions of the character  and show admiration for the thoughtfulness and human feeling that streep has once again applied  one thoroughly interesting fact about music of the heart lies with the unlikely presence in the directors chair  horror veteran wes craven  after leaving an impression with the scream films and the original nightmare on elm street  craven has attempted a precarious crossover to drama  at first  his inexperience with the genre is fairly obvious  but as the film progresses craven finds a surprisingly comfortable niche with directing this material  it doesnt carry the heartwarming courage of mr  hollands opus  but music of the heart is casually assured and filled with little morsels of dramatic truth  the tag team of streep and craven works better than you would anticipate  yes  oscar could come calling once again for meryl streep  but its the solid ensemble cast that makes music of the heart work  angela bassett displays her usual forceful stamina as janet williams  the principal at an inner city school who initially doesnt hire roberta because of her lack of experience  blueeyed adian quinn is endearing  as always  playing a new love interest  gloria estefan also delivers in the tiny role of a supportive secondgrade teacher  and the three lead actresses together produce a flaming fireball of estrogenic force  its like a schoolteachers version of thelma and louise  in a restrained but effective manner  the movie tackles more issues than just guasparis teaching of violin  theres some powerful moments between roberta and her two sons  who must cope when their father leaves them for another woman  in its dramatic buildup  the movie manages to produce some authentic moments of feeling and warmth  its a good movie for anyone to see  although missing out on the experience would not be a lifealtering decision  its commendable of wes craven to be attempting such a difficult crossover  and also for achieving his intricate goal  watching this heartfelt chick flick about morals and musical instruments  who may ask yourself  this is the guy who directed scream  of course  when the third installment of that series comes around in february 2000  with craven directing   you may find yourself wondering  this is the guy who directed music of the heart  mission accomplished  wes  thankfully  there is no layer of artificial sentiment covering the film  in its entirety  its a wholesome and agreeable movie for the whole family  despite the periodic flaws that surface every once in awhile  the child actors are cute and perform up to par  even if some of their problems are clich  d and predictable in the extreme  the mother who doesnt want her son to be learning white mans music  the unexpected casuality    basically everything is there  it doesnt strike the perfect chord  but music of the heart is highly convincing  the uplifting true story of roberta guaspari could have been told better  but music of the heart is still edifying enough to properly divulge her morals  
pos	vannesa kensington  austin  do you smoke after sex   austin powers  i dont know baby  ive never looked   and so begins our journey into the most anticipated sequel of the summer season  austin powers 2  the sequel to the sleeper hit of 1997  is filled to the brim with uproarious sight gags and lurid toilet jokes that will make you keel over with hilarity  the mind of mike myers is obviously a very bizarre place  myers returns as the swinging 60s spy and his archnemesis  the bald headed dr  evil  who is given much of the spotlight here  theres an early scene in which dr  evil and his son scott  seth green  appear on a jerry springer segment entitled my dad is evil and wants to take over the world  hosted by springer himself  most of these talkshow gags  spoofing everything from oprah to regis and kathie lee  are no longer as funny as they once were  happily  this is an exception  especially when a fight breaks out between dr  evil and the other guests   sample dialogue come back here you mother    you want a piece of me    the audience was in stitches  there are many good things about this sequel  dr  evil is now assisted by minime  verne troyer   a pintsized clone who is the result of an experiment gone awry  minime is the most perfect new character that any fan could ask for  and troyer does a terrific job of mimicking everything that his big brother does  pinkie and all  mindy sterling returns as frau farbissina  evils loudmouth assassin sidekick  and here we are treated to a brief romantic liaison between the two in an underground bedroom chamber  this works surprisingly well  afterward  theres even a meeting at the coffee machine  where their awkwardness is expressed in a scene you would expect in any normal office environment  oh  yes    the plot  after a short honeymoon with vanessa kensington  elizabeth hurley  that goes disastrously wrong  powers is back on the case to thwart the diabolical plans of dr  evil  in the original  the subject of the day was cryogenic freezing that enabled the characters to hop between two time periods  here  its time travel  dr  evil has this crazy plan to steal austins mojo  the source of his sexual powers   so he jumps through a time portal back into 1969 when powers is still is his freezing chamber  there  he employs a grotesque 600pound scottish assassin named fat bastard  also myers  to commandeer the mojo  so that our future hero is left completely shagless  meanwhile  austin is informed of evils wrongdoing by basil exposition  michael york   and is supplied with his very own timetraveling device in the form of a volkswagen beetle  once back in 1969  powers meets a foxy cia operative named felicity shagwell  heather graham   and learns of dr  evils plans to destroy washington dc with a lazer on the moon  in one of the many uproarious jabs at star wars  evil calls the moon base a death star  if there ever was a movie that knew from the start it was a complete joke  its austin powers  the spy who shagged me  ap2 has many hilarious moments  much more so  than the original austin powers  but what it doesnt have is the confident support system that the first boasted  and the jokes are now more scattershot and hitandmiss  while myers has a knack for delivering clever  inspired gags  he sometimes doesnt know when to call it quits  the hilarious scene in the original involving mustafa  will ferrell  and his refusal to die is played out here in a disappointing and tired manner  robert wagner  as dr  evils 2 man  has only one scene early on in the film  where he lacks all the focus of the character  one nice surprise is rob lowe  as the young 2  who patterns wagners voice and movements right down to a tee  there are more recycled jokes from the predecessor  including kristen johnston as ivana humpalot  an unfunny rendition of alotta fagina   but myers has clearly put so much dedication into this project  and many bits are sidesplittingly funny  dont miss an extended visual gag in a tent  where the shadows leave much to the imagination     of the new characters  graham doesnt leave much of an impression  her performance is merely okay  and she lacks the gungho enthusiasm that made elizabeth hurley so enjoyable before her  and as for fat bastard    well  he provides one or two hilarious moments  but all of the obesity jokes and bathroom talk go too far  but my most severe complaint  mr  bigglesworth was only in one scene   but  with gritted teeth  i managed to get over that  this sequel will not leave fans disappointed  its more often than not a laugh riot  and  i look optimistically to the future  where i foresee more installments to the austin powers collection  if myers can up the quota of fresh ideas  we should be in store for much more   c  1999  jamey hughton                         jamey hughton  15  has written a weekly column in the starphoenix  saskatoon  sk since november  1997  he was a 1999 writing finalist in the canadian ytv achievement awards  
pos	the premise of the new teentargeted horror film final destination causes a recollection of a memorable simpsons halloween episode  after attempting to repair a malfunctioning toaster  lovably ignorant patriarch homer realizes he has created a portable timemachine  after a trek into the cretaceous period  homer observes that any minor alteration made there will erupt into a starling chain of events and seriously modify the present world  again and again  homer toys with the master plan and pays dearly for it  the characters of final destination have also tampered with the blueprint schematics of their existence  their design  someone is after them with the strict intent of correcting the mistake  that someone is death  you see  alex browning  devon sawa  and six others have cheated the grim reaper     but the dude has got some tricks up his sleeve  for a high school excursion  alexs french class is traveling to paris by airline transport  alex  tense and neurotic  has a shocking premonition after boarding  he sees the plane  and every passenger on it  spontaneously explode in midair  in a panic of sheer lunacy  alex charges his way through the aisle and demands removal from the aircraft  after a handful of others  including one teacher  follow and are denied admittance back onto the plane  the unwitting  survivors watch in horror as the plane actually explodes in the drizzling night sky  the loony vision alex experiences does actually materialize  but death wont be cheated so easily  and one by one  the survivors of flight 180 are offed in mysteriously gruesome circumstances  the grisly murder count baffles the local officials and fbi  before i delve into the meat of the review  id just like to confer     is that one helluva premise  or what  final destination  creepy beyond rational comprehension  probably reads more like an unsettling xfiles episode than the simpsons  therefore  the surprise is minimal when you discover the mutual creators behind both are glen morgan and james wong  on familiar turf  the task of establishing footing is not difficult for morgan and wong  and the opening 20 minutes of final destination reflects that  unlike most thrillers  the setup is crisp and cool  you just deeply  sincerely hope that the momentum wont unspool  leaving us with a secondstring effort with nothing but cheap  derivative shocks  young viewers have a palpable reason to expect this kind of formula deterioration  what with i know what you did last summer and sequel  idle hands and  a movie with a nifty premise that just plunged like an anvil  urban legend  after the setup  when i remained slouched apprehensively in my chair  i started to really have fun with final destination  low and behold  a teen thriller that is actually unsettling  actually suspenseful and  yes  actually intelligent  some splotty logic and a heap of characteristic genre flaws aside  this film is among the most refreshing and allout enjoyable horror movies to submerge since the cuttingedge scream in 1996  final destination stimulates the nerves and offers a exhilarating retaliation strike against all the bloodspattered slasher crap weve endured throughout the past few years  not that the characters are that good  sawa is game as alex  a connectthedots personality that we never fully comprehend  in addition  the survivors are endearing geek tod  chad e  donella   jocky controlfreak carter  kerr smith of dawsons creek   carters ditzy girlfriend terry  amanda detmer   the nonetoosubtly named billy hitchcock  seann william scott  supplier of lukewarm comic relief  and a lone teacher  the emotionally delicate ms  lewton  kristin cloke   aside from alex  the primary center of interest is intended to be ali larter  varsity blues   playing an abstract character named clear rivers  what were her parents thinking      the personality of clear is written with such a vague  nebulous definition that she resembles a walking flashcard saying hello  i am the offbeat character designed to identify with the main characters plight   toss a few stereotypical fbi agents  daniel roebuck and roger guenveur smith  and a     ummm    spiritual mortician  former candyman tony todd  into the mix  and you have what could be another generic teenage frightfest with slicing  dicing and assorted disembowelments  not so  final destination has no slicing and dicing  or at least none dealt by a human killer  and the thought of death itself as the unseen stalker is unique and frightening  the extra dimension of disconcerting irony rejuvenates the decaying  murdererontheloose concept  with assistance from a shrewd  intelligently paced screenplay by morgan  wong and jeffrey reddick  the plot twists are fun and clever without toppling into utter absurdity  listen up  reindeer games   but i suppose the most satisfying aspect of final destination is the murder scenes  creative  resourceful and breathlessly inventive  the death sequences involve an unlikely string of events leading to a characters demise  what will trigger the accident  will it be the john denver record  just put on to play rocky mountain high   yeah  sick humor   will it be the leaking toilet  the falling fishing reel in the corner  the murders are startling and largely unforeseen  including one surprise incident that made the audience jump out of their seats and giggle nervously for roughly a minute afterward  a sense of giddy unpredictability is added with this inventive approach  it gets sorta tasteless and cheap sometimes  but who cares  its fun  in that simple regard  final destination is my cup of tea  this stylishly executed thriller  although tagged with laughable circumstances and the occasional snippet of lame dialogue  is an immensely entertaining jaunt to the dark side  after the show  it will also have an frightening impact on you  when will your  design expire  is death waiting around the corner  the final effect is a major case of the heebiejeebies  
pos	it is easy to see why the late stanley kubrick believed steven spielberg would be the perfect director for his a  i  artificial intelligence  just as it is understandable why spielberg was attracted to the material  for here we have another lost boy trying to find his way home  an outcast seeking family  themes very familiar from most of spielbergs body of work from sugarland express to close encounters of the third kind to e  t  to empire of the sun to hook to saving private ryan  naming just a few examples  a  i  is set in an undefined near future in which giant technological advances have led to the creation of robots who serve every purpose from housekeeping to fulfilling sexual fantasies  it is an era when robots are treated merely as sophisticated appliances  the last great leap in robotic evolution is the addition of emotions  and with the number of births limited by the government  many couples are yearning for children  and professor hobby  william hurt  has the solution  a robotic boy named david  haley joel osment   who is programmed to love  as a test  david is placed with henry swinton  sam robards  and his wife  monica  frances oconnor   their naturalborn son has been cryogenically frozen until a cure can be found for his illness  the first third of a  i  deals with davids life with the swintons and how that is changed by the recovery and return of their son  martin  circumstances force david to be cut off from the swintons  he is abandoned and alone  david  highly influenced by the fairy tale  pinocchio  feels that if he becomes a real boy he can rekindle monicas love for him  the films second act follows davids search for the blue fairy  whom he believes will be able to fulfill his wish  during these adventures he meets and is helped by gigolo joe  jude law   a robot who specializes in sex  spielberg is at his top form in this sequence  offering a brutal  flesh fair  where robots are destroyed via sadistic methods for the amusement of paying customers  here  is where kubricks influence is strongly felt  as the movie explores the fear and distrust humans have for robots  the savagery conjures up images from the late directors a clockwork orange  at about two hours and 30 minutes  the film begins to falter during the last 20 minutes  a sequence that seems most spielbergian with images that appear to be borrowed from close encounters  it is all very anticlimatic and jarring  these scenes seem almost superfluous  as if from a different film  a  i  is a dark fairy tale that deserves its pg13 rating  it is a story combining hope and intolerance  sacrifice and bigotry  and while it does not coalesce perfectly  the movie does offer some disturbing images  but a  i  is really a showcase for the acting talents of the amazing young osment  if ever an actor deserved an academy award nomination  it is this lad  who brings a sense of joy and wonder to the role of david  a being created for the express purpose of loving  he shines when with monica  beaming with love  as eager as a puppy to please  after being left in the woods  he is confused  lost  hurt  focusing on one objective  to become a real boy and find his way home so he can redeem himself in his mothers eyes  law is pleasant as the carefree robot who really doesnt understand davids quest  but is nonetheless happy to help him on his journey  probably the toughest role is oconnors monica  playing an emotional fragile woman who sees david as a substitute for her lost martin  she grows conflicted after her boy returns and she begins to perceive david not as a second chance  but as a threat to her family  she gives her character enough emotional chaos that you cannot fault her for her course of action  many of a  i  s futuristic sets are breathtaking  especially a mostly submerged new york  lost to the world by the melting of the polar ice caps  a  i  is a flawed film  and you cannot get through the entire feature without pondering  even subconsciously  how it would have turned out with kubrick instead of spielberg behind the camera  would it have been darker  more cynical  we will never know  we can only judge what is before us on the screen  a collaboration of two cinematic giants  a  i  is a most interesting and thoughtprovoking examination of a future that is quickly gaining on us  
pos	heres a word analogy  amistad is to the lost world as schindlers list is to jurassic park  in 1993  after steven spielberg made the monster dino hit  many critics described schindlers list as the directors  penance   as if there was a need for him to apologize for making a crowdpleasing blockbuster   now  after a threeyear layoff  spielberg is back with a vengeance  once again  his summer release was special effectsloaded actionadventure flick with dinosaurs munching on human appetizers  now  following his 1993 pattern  he has fashioned another serious  inspirational christmas release about the nature of humanity  that film is amistad  although not as masterful as schindlers list  amistad is nevertheless a gripping motion picture  thematically rich  impeccably crafted  and intellectually stimulating  the only area where this movie falls a little short is in its emotional impact  watching schindlers list was a powerful  almost spiritual  experience  spielberg pulled us into the narrative  absorbed us in the drama  then finally let us go  exhausted and shattered  threeplus hours later  aspects of the movie have stayed with me ever since  amistad  while a fine example of film making  is not as transcendent  the incident of the ship la amistad is not found in any history books  but  considering who writes the texts  thats not a surprise  however  the event is a part of the american social and legal fabric  and  while amistad does not adhere rigorously to the actual account  most of the basic facts are in order  several  mostly minor changes have been made to enhance the films dramatic force  on the whole  while amistad may not be faithful to all of the details of the situation  it is true to the spirit and meaning of what transpired  one stormy night during the summer of 1839  the 53 men imprisoned on the spanish slave ship la amistad escape  led by the lionhearted cinque  djimon hounsou   they take control of the vessel  killing most of the crew  adrift somewhere off the coast of cuba and uncertain how to make their way back to africa  they rely on the two surviving spaniards to navigate the eastward journey  they are tricked  however  and the la amistad  which makes its way northward off the united states eastern coastline  is eventually captured by an american naval ship near connecticut  the kidnapped africans are shackled and thrown into prison  charged with murder and piracy  the first men to come to the africans defense are abolitionists theodore joadson  morgan freeman  and lewis tappan  stellan skarsgard   they are soon joined by roger baldwin  matthew mcconaughey   a property attorney of little repute  aided by advice from former president john quincy adams  anthony hopkins   baldwin proves a more persuasive orator than anyone gave him credit for  and his central argument  that the prisoners were illegally kidnapped free men  not property  convinces the judge  but powerful forces have aligned against baldwins cause  current president martin van buren  nigel hawthorne   eager to please southern voters and 11year old queen isabella of spain  anna paquin   begins pulling strings behindthescenes to ensure that none of the africans goes free  at its heart  amistad is a tale of human courage  cinque is a heroic figure whose spirit remains unbreakable regardless of the pain and indignity he is subjected to  he is a free man  not a slave  and  while he recognizes that he may die as a result of his struggle  he will not give it up  effectively portrayed by newcomer djimon hounsou  whose passion and screen presence arrest our attention  cinque is the key to viewers seeing the amistad africans as more than symbols in a battle of ideologies  they are individuals  and our ability to make that distinction is crucial to the movies success  to amplify this point  spielberg presents many scenes from the africans pointofview  detailing their occasionallyhumorous observations about some of the white mans seeminglystrange  rituals   the larger struggle is  of course  one of defining humanity  as the nazis felt justified in slaughtering jews because they viewed their victims as  subhuman   so the proslavery forces of amistad use a similar defense  the abolitionists regard the africans as men  but the slavers and their supporters see them as animals or property  in a sense  the morality of slavery is on trial here with the specter of civil war  which would break out less than three decades later  looming over everything  amistads presentation of the legal and political intricacies surrounding the trial are fascinating  making this movie one of the most engrossing courtroom dramas in recent history  four claimants come forward against the africans  the state  which wants them tried for murder  the queen of spain  who wants them handed over to her under the provision of an americanspanish treaty  two american naval officers  who claim the right of high seas salvage  and the two surviving spaniards from la amistad  who demand that their property be returned to them  baldwin must counter all of these claims  while facing a challenge to his own preconceived notions as the result of a relationship he develops with cinque  even though attorney and client are divided by a language barrier  they gradually learn to communicate  aside from cinque  who is a fullyrealized individual  characterization is spotty  but the acting is topnotch  matthew mcconaughey successfully overcomes his  pretty boy  image to become baldwin  but the lawyer is never particularly welldefined outside of his role in the la amistad case  likewise  while morgan freeman and stellan skarsgard are effective as joadson and tappan  they are never anything more than  abolitionists   nigel hawthorne  who played the title character in the madness of king george  presents martin van buren as a spineless sycophant to whom justice means far less than winning an election  finally  theres anthony hopkins  whose towering portrayal of john quincy adams is as compelling as anything the great actor has recently done  hopkins  who can convincingly play such diverse figures as a serial killer  an emotionallycrippled english butler  and richard nixon  makes us believe that he is adams  his tenminute speech about freedom and human values is unforgettable  one point of difference worth noting between amistad and schindlers list is this films lack of a welldefined human villain  schindlers list had ralph fiennes superblyrealized amon goeth  who was not only a threedimensional character  but a personification of all that the nazis stood for  there is no such figure in amistad  the villain is slavery  but an ideology  no matter how evil  is rarely the best adversary  it is to spielbergs credit that he has fashioned such a compelling motion picture without a prominent antagonist  amistads trek to the screen  which encountered some choppy waters  author barbara chaseriboud has cried plagiarism  a charge denied by the film makers   comes in the midst of an upsurge of interest in the incident  an opera of the same name opened in chicago on november 29  1997  numerous books about the subject are showing up on bookstore shelves  it remains to be seen how much longevity the amistad phenomena has  but one thing is certain  with spielbergs rousing  substantive film leading the way  the spotlight has now illuminated this chapter of american history  
pos	you know youre in for a truly different cinematic experience the moment you realize steve buscemi has been cast as the movie in questions most normal character  such is the case with  the big lebowski   joel and ethan coens first venture since their  fargo  nabbed nationwide acclaim and a mantlepiece of academy award nods  theres no need to fear that the coens suffered creative burnout with that accomplishment  because  lebowski  is an effort that makes words like  strange  and  unusual  seem like an understatement  thanks in part to delicious characterization and an allencompassing sense of humor  the film is a smashing success  the central oddball here is the dude  jeff bridges   an unemployed cad whose ambitions appear to be zilch beyond smoking pot  drinking beer and going bowling  are you college students already rooting for him  or what    one night  a pair of thugs break into his house and pee on his carpet  a threatening act thats supposed to be carried out against a famous pasadena millionaire  david huddleston  who shares his birth name  jeff lebowski  with the dude  once the dude realizes this coincidence  he visits the big lebowski in hopes to claim reparations for his soiled rug  and is back to his normal life with alley pals walter  john goodman   a hotheaded vietnam vet  and donny  buscemi   a mildmannered surfer  before too long  soon  though  lebowskis trampy trophy wife bunny  tara reid  is kidnaped and held for a hefty ransom  and he turns to the dude for help  it seems bunnys troubles are related to a line of work shes kept secret from her husband  shes actually an adult film star and is very in debt with a shady producer named jackie treehorn  the dude  now on lebowskis payroll  accepts the offer and agrees to handle the money drop  walter tags along and insists that the dude keep the cash for himself  chaos obviously ensues  and the dude eventually finds himself in hot water with cops  crooks and lebowskis ultraeccentric artist daughter maude  julianne moore    the big lebowski  deserves to win the coens the same amount of acclaim that  fargo  did  while that 1996 black comedy was certainly a better film   lebowski  is at least as breathtakingly imaginative  the movie boasts a milehigh absurdity level that sometimes threatens to topple over  but thankfully never does  the coens  joel directed  ethan produced and both wrote  keep you in stitches as they unravel their exceedingly loopy tale  and must be commended for juggling a number of people and subplots one would expect to find in a robert altman flick  whether were watching bridges fend off a marmet in his bathtub or moore don viking duds and dance in a busby berkeleyesque dream sequence   the big lebowski  is immensely lively  there are those who will dislike this film  but not because its boring  the cast has a great deal of fun with the bounteous material theyre given  bridges exudes a likeable  surprisingly sweet presence  his dude sure isnt the cleanest guy around  but youd still follow him to another movie  goodman merits 1998s first oscar consideration  as walters manic temper is one of  the big lebowski  s many highlights  the same goes for moore  whose throaty  delectable performance as maude is a hilarious hoot  john turturro may very well steal the movie with his two scenes as a colorful bowler from a rival faction  sam elliotts rambling narration gets the film off to a solid start  and some will recognize peter stormare   fargo  s silent heavy  as carl hungus  a porn star whos really a samurai swordwielding german nihilist and hasbeen pop star  only in its final third does the movie falter  with a couple of loose plot threads and some cast members who quickly disappear and never emerge for a curtain call  these flaws are forgivable  though  the coens have crafted a tale so rich with personality that its hard to look at the final product with anything but a big grin on your face  without a doubt   the big lebowski  is the best film so far this year  sure  were only three months in and the competition   deep rising    desperate measures    the wedding singer   etc   has been pretty bland  but its still the gospel truth  maybe during next awards season   lebowski  wont be a far cry from  fargo   
pos	a couple of months ago  when i first downloaded the faceoff trailer from the net  my initial reaction was a fourteen carrot gold yawn  followed swiftly by a press of my computers delete key  not wanting to waste six or seven megabytes of precious space on this pisspoor trailer  then i started reading the first wave of reviews from the u  s      unique    excellent     mustsee  well  i thought still skeptical  i suppose i might as well go see it when it gets here  here  of course  was still three months away  ill admit  when i trotted off to see this film  the only john woo movie i had seen before was the fairly enjoyable but highly forgetable broken arrow  id heard good things about his previous work with movies like hard boiled  but his films were definitely not on my mustsee list  that  let me tell you  has changed completely  i knew this fact only five minutes into the film  after the brilliantly shot and acted opening sequence where sean archer loses his son blew me off my feet  the acting throughout the film is staggeringly good for an action flick  seriously  ive never been a big john travolta fan  but he  like cage  perfectly suited his role in the movie      sorry  make that roles in the movie  even travoltas great performance  however  paled in comparison to cages character portrayals  my favourite cage scene was definitely when he was crashed out in compardre dietrich hasslers hideout  half drugged out of his mind  he sits there reclining back in a chair talking about his sons death from castors perspective   doesnt it just break your heart   he mutters coldly  now dont go thinking from the previous comments about brilliant acting that this is a drama focused movie  its not  thats what really makes this movie unique  its an action movie with brilliantly portrayed characters      not a common mix at all  suspension of disbelief is paramount in this movie though      thats the only way to overlook the fact that travolta and cage fire around 5671 rounds at each other     and never hit  several action scenes are just so well choreographed that they just make wish that you could press rewind and watch it over again  the part where archer and troy have a stand off on either side of a doublesided mirror is just plain brilliant  whilst cages and travoltas performances would be enough alone to sustain most movies  the lesser characters are just as intriguing  joan allen  who usually sticks to the straight drama movies  plays her part perfectly as archers long suffering wife  i like the fact that her character didnt end up toting a gun at the end of the movie    it would have wrecked her potrayal  gina gershon was surprising to say the least as castor troys mistreated girlfriend      make that  one of  castor troys mistreated girlfriends  other movies would have used her character as just window dressing    a sex object  but instead her character is very strong and independent  dominique swain  who plays archers daughter  also does a nice job  though her character is not as explored as much as allens or gershons  faults  well    there were some i have to say  first  the movies ending  whilst being very good overall  was a bit too drawn out for its own good  after the two combatants begin duelling again after the final boat crash you cant help but think   geez  are you guys nuclear powered or what    there were certain bits that werent handled properly  like where archer appears safe and sound on solid ground after jumping off the converted oil platformprison  more explanation here would have been nice  overall  this movie was not perfect  but i thought it was about as close as an action movie has ever came to perfect  many critics have claimed that this movie will change the way action movies are made      i certainly hope so  
pos	those print and television ads trumpeting that  grease is still the word  are right on the money  to celebrate its 20th anniversary  this quintessential movie musical is getting the royal treatment reserved for classics like  star wars   a welldeserved  redcarpet rerelease  thats fantastic  especially when considering of all the classic characters and scenes the film has served up  who can forget aspiring beautician frenchie  didi conn  being serenaded by her tellitlikeitis guardian angel  frankie avalon   or the hardnosed principal  eve arden  reminding the student body to  be an athletic supporter  by rooting for the home team  or national bandstand emcee vince fontaine  edd byrnes  flirting with marty  a pre  empty nest  dinah manhoff   and these are all probably considered minor moments    a very skinny john travolta and a very young olivia newtonjohn have the respective leads of danny zuko and sandy olsson  and their pairing still ranks as one of screendoms most effervescently charming  for those eight of you who arent familiar with the story  heres a brief recap  greaser bad boy danny and aussie good girl sandy are reunited for their 1959 senior year at rydell high after a brief fling during the summer  both thought she was going to return to her native continent before school started  but both were wrong  sandy tries to rekindle their relationship  but dannys too cool a cat to fall for her wholesome appeal in front of his tbird buddies  including jeff conaway   so sandy hooks up with a gang herself  the pink ladies  headed by sassy  sexy rizzo  stockard channing  just superb as an independent woman well ahead of her time   and danny  who still really feels love for her  attempts a compromise of ideals in order to win her back  the drag race finale is yet something of a drag  and i never have thought much of  greased lightening   the films big  guy  number  that choreography  ack    but  grease  s flaws amount too few to carp  the movies first showpiece is  summer nights   where danny and sandy separately recount wildly different versions of their funinthesun romance  not only is  nights  tremendously catchy  but its also a smart look at how men and women see the same events with varying eyes  there has yet to be a liveaction musical sequence that rivals the onetwo punch of  youre the one that i want  and  we go together    grease  s euphoric cappers  all this and some of the most pleasing moments come from the smaller  quieter moments  the oscarnominated  hopelessly devoted to you  is a lovely showcase for newtonjohn  and channings lamenting ballad  there are worse things i could do  is one of  grease  s most unjustly overlooked tunes  the soundtrack is remastered  though travolta still hits that awful high note at the end of  nights   and the restored widescreen allows us to see previously panandscannedout choreography  but nothing else has changed  no computergenerated backgrounds  no outtakes or new musical numbers  no jabba the hutt cameos  and its a testament to  grease  s timeless success that nothing needs to be changed  its the same allaround blast its always been  with an appealing cast in a fun story told with great music  to 90s viewers   grease  will probably recall disco and bellbottoms as much as it made its original audience nostalgic for doowop and poodle skirts  but regardless of what decade it transports us to  we can all agree on one thing  without a doubt   grease  is still the word  
pos	the party is one of those classic slapstick comedies that will leave you  at times  cracking up  the film takes place  for the most part  in realtime during an exclusive evening party that is attended only by the biggest names in hollywood  hrundi v  bakshi  played very well by peter sellers  is a struggling actor who just came to america from his homeland  india  hrundi tries out his acting talents  but it seems that he just isnt cut out for the job  on the set of his current film that he stars in  hrundi seems to make everything go for the worse  during the filming of this movie set in the 1800s  hrundi manages to annoy the director  herbert ellis  in any way he can  this includes a pitiful acting job in many scenes  wearing an underwater watch in one scene  and accidentally detonating a massive set  many of the hollywood producers and big names want hrundi out of the business forever  and when the director makes a personal phone call to mr  clutterbuck  j  edward mckinley  pleading for hrundis ejection from hollywood  everything is pretty much over for hrundi  clutterbuck writes his name down on a piece of paper to insure that hrundi will never again work in hollywood  but when this piece of paper turns out to be the guest list for clutterbucks exclusive party  hrundi is invited  and certain chaos is bound to occur  of course  as predicted  hrundi causes lots of trouble  each scene in which hrundi encounters a situation  usually one that he cant handle  is almost always very humorous  and each scene with hrundi and the drunken waiter  who is alone hilarious  adds to the comedy in a great way  the party can be compared to many other films of its type  specifically the trio of naked gun movies and the airplane movies  but the party is a delightful movie that incorporates very well played out comedy into believable situations  it also includes a number of memorable scenes  can anyone say  birdy numnum     if youre in the mood for fun and enjoyable slapstick comedy  check out the party  its not going to be one of your alltime favorites  but if you enjoy this type of humor  youll enjoy the party  
pos	once again  the battle is dreamworks versus disney  earlier this year  the mammoth companies fought to the death with their endoftheworld asteroid flicks  deep impact and armageddon  here we are now  just a few months later  and theyre at it again with dueling bug movies  antz and a bugs life  what i find so astonishing is that both pairs of movies are so inherently similar in both story and execution  i mean  come on  what were the chances of two studios both deciding to bring out computeranimated films about bugs  as was the case with the meteor movies  disney has come out on top  though antz is a likable movie  a bugs life is far superior  in fact  this movie made me realize what was wrong with antz  i became immersed in the world of a bugs life  while antz just made me scrutinize everything  but its not really fair to base an entire review on a comparison  a bugs life is a remarkable film in its own right  and deserves to be seen apart from any other computeranimated film about bugs  in fact  its one of the best films this year  its smart  subtle  and funny  but its also perfect family entertainment and relentlessly entertaining  i havent had such a good time at the movies in months  it tells the story of an ant named flick  voice by dave foley   hes a nice guy  but hes also a troublemaker  the ants spend all season putting together the offering  a big pile of food that they provide for the grasshoppers  just before the grasshoppers come  flick accidentally knocks over the offering  and ruins everything for the entire colony  the grasshoppers leader  hopper  kevin spacey   is enraged  and tells them that the ants need twice the food by the end of summer  or theyre all dead  flick  feeling responsible for this  sets off to look for help  he realizes that the only way to be rid of the grasshoppers is to fight them  he heads to the city  the city being a house a few miles away   where he finds a colorful bunch of circus bugs  a ladybug  denis leary  who is spectacular   a black widow  bonnie hunt   a caterpillar  joe ranft   a butterfly  madeline kahn   a rhinoceros beetle  michael mcshane   and a stick  david hydepierce  also giving a hilarious performance   flick doesnt know theyre actors  and they dont know that flick needs them to kill a bunch of grasshoppers  so they return to the colony with flick and find themselves in an unusual position  the most obvious element of a bugs life is the quality of animation  created by pixar  the same people who brought us toy story  a bugs life has some of the most amazing visuals ive ever seen  the bugs seem to inhabit a threedimensional space  and occasionally there will be a shot that is indistinguishable from live action  this is a lush  colorful world  full of life and imagination  the way the animators insert the things all of us see in our daily lives  matches  bottlecaps  tin cans  etc   and make them active objects in the bugs world is innovative  the film is also mercilessly exciting  particularly in a superblystaged scene involving our heroes escape from a bird  a little bird never seemed so huge and threatening   but the makers of a bugs life know where the importance lies  story and characters  flick  with solid voice work from foley  is a great guy to lead the story  but the real treat comes with the circus bugs  theyre such a likable group of characters  the standouts are the stick  hydepierce is so good   francis the ladybug  and the big fat caterpillar  all of these bugs have more than a token personality  which makes the suspenseful scenes work because we care about the bugs  and it also keeps the tearjerking scenes from seeming obligatory  in my review of antz  i said that the film is a clever copout because it presents a bunch of little humans reacting to an antlike existence  in concept  a bugs life is basically the same movie  except that i was never given enough time to find things that i didnt like about it  with such strong work in both animation and script  a bugs life is nothing but a joy to sit through  it really is too bad that it had to come out so close to that other bug movie  but a bugs life is so good that im sure it will find its audience  after a slew of endlessly violent and cynical movies  its downright refreshing to sit through an innocent picture like this and laugh without feeling guilty  
pos	eight years after its release  disney has decided to rerelease the little mermaid theatrically for 17 days  and 17 long nights  only  coincidentally  it was reintroduced to theaters the same day foxs animated film anastasia was released  you know disney  they cant deal with the threat of any other studio getting even a small piece of the crust of the kiddie entertainment pie  so when someone else wants to make a little money  they counter with an old  masterpiece  from their vault and  you know what  i went to see this 1989 cartoon rather than the brand new one from fox  let no one say disney is losing its monopoly on the market  they still have hotels on boardwalk and park place  believe it or not  today  november 25  1997  at 5  05 p  m   i saw the little mermaid for the first time  it took me a few years to get over an aversion to this movie that was caused seven years ago  when i stayed with one of my moms friends for a couple weeks  they had a young child who listened to the little mermaid soundtrack constantly and  over that two week period  i heard every song from the movie probably a hundred times  by the time i got back home  i promised myself id never see the movie  but promises are made to be broken  especially when youre looking at a 17day  limited engagement  damn those shrewd disney marketers and their mind games  the little mermaid is based on a hans christian anderson fairy tale  but its disneyized  which means lots of talking animals and bursting into song  it also means the heroine is a total babe who shows off cleavage from a seashell bra at all times  i never wanted so much to be a pair of shells    the heroine  of course  is ariel  voice of jodi benson   a 16yearold mermaid who is going through that rebellious phase  she skips her concert to explore a wrecked ship and hang out with a seagull that talks like buddy hackett  who tries to orient her to the mysterious world of humans  shes also dealing with feelings she hasnt had before  which comes when you get scales in places you didnt use to have them  about a handsome prince  no disney movie would be complete without one   her father  king triton of the merpeople  strictly forbids such lusting after the ways of the  savage  humans  in a condemnation that reads as a notsosubtle analogy about old fashioned parents who forbid interracial dating  whats a king to do  though  the girls in love and even total destruction of her little shrine to the human world doesnt deter her  ariel saves the princes life when a hurricane rises up  and just has to meet him  she makes a deal with ursula  the sea witch  voice of pat carroll   you know shes evil because she has a huge potbelly and one of the worst asses in cartoon history  she also has octopus tentacles for feet  something those dr  scholls corn pads will not fix  and offers to help ariel out  shell make her a human for three days if ariel will give up her pretty voice  ariel has three days to make that prince kiss her  or else she becomes a slave to the witch forever  and if she pricks her finger on a sewing machine or eats an evil apple  shell fall asleep forever  its a simplistic plot  yes  but the little mermaid was a revolution in the disney world  coming after such lackluster efforts as the black cauldron and oliver and company  it ranks as one of the best disney cartoons  certainly since the 50s  all the elements are there  memorable songs like  under the sea  and  kiss the girl   cartoon animals like sebastian and flounder  an evil villain who still has characterization and charm  and a fair amount of humor that caters to adults as well as children  the little mermaid is worth a bigscreen ticket in 1997  so hurry up  you only have five days left  serving america for more than 125th of a century  
pos	in a flashback  the teenage girl in the eccentric family in the canadian film  the hanging garden  tells her senile grandmother that she is going to a school dance  horrified  the grandmother wants to know if her granddaughter knows  the rule of 6   if you dont break off a kiss by the count of 6  then you committed a sin with the boy  and most of all  the grandmother wants to know if she has  protection   she must carry a rosary in her pocket at all times  the richly acted film is written and directed by thom fitzgerald in a quirky but loving style  although some may refer to the film as yet another dysfunctional family picture  that moniker misses the mark  yes  every member of the household has their own special problems  but the writer didnt choose to name so many characters for various flowers by accident  this delightful little picture mixes love  tragedy and pathos  resulting in a hopeful and almost magical concoction  during the opening credits we observe the boy  sweet william  at the center of the story  first  hes an average sized young lad who is slapped offscreen by his father  next  hes 300 pound teenager  played with hopelessness and depression by troy veinotte  when the opening credits end  we cut to 10 years later  william is now an averagesized  reasonably happy adult  played with love and compassion by chris leavins  william has returned after 10 years absence to attend the marriage of his freespirited and foulmouthed sister rosemary to his first childhood lover  fletcher  joe s  keller   kerry fox from an angel at my table and shallow grave plays rosemary with a compelling joy  nicole burnell  who gave such a devastating performance in the sweet hereafter  plays the teenage rosemary  the father of the family  whiskey mac  peter macneill   is an alcoholic autocrat who is more obnoxious than harmful  his wife  iris  seana mckenna   says that she would have left him years ago to at least go to some place warm were it not for her lack of money and her obligations to the kids  rounding out the family is christine dunsworth as nineyearold violet  the sister whom william meets for the first time  as the exuberant irish music fills the air at the wedding in the family home  william wanders off to try on one of his old coats  which causes him to laugh at the size of his former self  the director manages to stage simple scenes in wonderfully imaginative ways  he takes a common wedding dress train and uses it to set up scenes in fresh and fascinating ways  rosmarys trip to the bathroom after drinking too much beer is beautifully orchestrated  and kerry fox is at her hilarious best trying to cope with the long train in a small bath  all while talking to her brother  as much as anything  the film is a series of character sketches  in one of the strongest we watch william in a flashback as he has his first sexual encounter  a homosexual one  although he is perfectly happy liking the same sex  his mother is aghast  a woman friend of hers suggests she take william to a local housewife  dusty miller  martha irving   who  for a fee  will have heterosexual sex with william  with absolute finesse the director crafts a subtle scene that manages to yield significant emotional punch without being sensational  dusty  after asking iris to watch her daughter  takes william and gently introduces him to the joys of sex with the opposite sex  all of this notwithstanding  he still prefers males  the film is at its most poignant in several sequences in which the grown william comes facetoface with himself when younger  this causes his ugly old memories to be reignited  in the most devastating  he has to come to grips with his former self who was so overwhelmed with the stress that he tried to hang himself  even here  the director touches your heart without ever letting the story dissolve into anything approaching a tearjerker  the ultimate result is an uplifting story that has more hope that one would ever expect from the outline of its plot  the hanging garden runs 1  31  it is rated r for strong sexuality  language  violence and some teen drug use and would be acceptable for teenagers only if they are quite old and mature  
pos	 dimension films   scream 2  s distributor  has asked press to say extremely little  if anything  about the films twisty plot  thats no easy task considering the wit that deserves to be mentioned here  but i will do my best to be vague  now  theres a first     the first one was good  but all the rest sucked   said a cinematicallysavvy teen in last winters wes craven thriller  scream   her statement referring to the films of the  nightmare on elm street  series but really putting down franchise overkill in general  the comment certainly carries clout  for every truly great sequel  there appears to be a couple of duds  making one wonder if writers are better off sticking solely with fresh ideas  but like it or not  along comes  scream 2   and believe it or not  its a doozy  a slick  sinister  madly subversive good time at the movies  as intent on sending up hollywoods sequel syndrome as much as its prequel poked fun at slasher conventions   scream 2  is definitely that rare movie thing  a followup that can stand along side its original with pride  its been two years since a pair of overzealous horror movie fans clad in edvard munchesque getups carved their way through the young populace of woodsboro  california  those surviving the ordeal have gotten on with their lives  plucky heroine sidney prescott  neve campbell  is a drama student at the midwestern windsor college  her pop culturewhiz pal randy meeks  jamie kennedy  has tagged along  trash tabloid reporter gale weathers  courteney cox  has written a bestseller based on their ordeal  the basis of which has been turned into a  very bad  movie called  stab   and dewey riley  david arquette   still suffering from wounds inflicted during  scream   has left his job as a police officer for a while  life is tranquil    at least for a while  several sudden murders bring sidney  randy  gale and dewey together again  but with suspicious eyes cast on each other and most of those in their surroundings  if these four people learned anything from the past  its to trust no one  thus  the possible victimpotential killer list includes said quartet  as well as  derek  jerry oconnell   sidneys new beau  cici  sara michelle gellar   a chatty sorority gal  joel  duane martin   gales cameraman whos not too thrilled with her bloodsoaked past  hallie  elise neal   sidneys sassy roommate  debbie  laurie metcalf   a local reporter who gives gale some nottoofriendly competition  and mickey  timothy olyphant   randys good friend and fellow film student  cotton weary  liev schreiber   the man sidney wrongly accused of her mothers murder in scream  also shows up on campus  but why  like the first scream  craven and screenwriter kevin williamson inaugurate things with a bang  this time  its an extended sequence that finds an africanamerican couple  jada pinkett and omar epps  attending a sneak preview of  stab   making sly references about everything from sandra bullock to the lunchmeat nonroles of blacks in slasher cinema  before tragedy ensues at the screening  the moviewithinamovie setup allows for plenty of jokey moments  including a scene from  stab  which turns screams nowfamous drew barrymore prologue on its ear    b  hang up the phone and star69 his a   pinkett yells at the screen   its funny  creepy stuff  i dont think ill ever feel safe in a movie theater again  that effectively foreshadows the ratio of smart scares and spoofy laughs down the road  another flawless example of this is a riotous cell phoneassault of the killer on randy  dewey and gale in broad daylight  it builds comedically and ends with genuine terror because of the emotional investment made on these delicious characters  there are other superb set pieces  but explaining them risks ruining their effect  there are more players this time around as to provide both a higher number suspects and a staggering body count  its something of a tradein  the new characters are too large in number to be as fullydeveloped as the original  scream  gang  but this movie packs in knowing performances  especially by kennedy and cox  and more death for your dollar  it can be argued that  while the original might outclass it by a tad  scream 2 is both scarier and funnier  it certainly doesnt skimp with shocks  a major one being the killing of one cast member very near and dear to my heart  i actually questioned craven and williamsons judgment here  considering how much this person has added to these films   sometimes you wish that more could have been done with stab  the two scenes were shown are deadon  but for film fans  there are plenty of subtle nods to movies like  the usual suspects    aliens  and  the empire strikes back   still   scream 2  does so many things right  its petty to quibble  its penchant for parody is irresistible  discussions of the merits of film sequels and all  the attractive  solid cast is a definite bonus  and the denouement  while not as shocking as  scream  s  is priceless  the films final revelation incorporates bits of a particular horror film prominently referred to in  scream  with one of the best bad guy motives ever put on paper  all this and a  scream 3  is in the works  knowing the series tendency for selfreference  perhaps one of its characters will again discuss the concept of sequel justice  mentioning  scream 2  ll help them in their argument  
pos	edward zwicks  the siege  raises more questions than it can convincingly answer or even clearly articulate  its subject is the rising threat of terrorism in american cities  denzel washington is anthony  hub  hubbard  who runs the fbis antiterrorism task force in new york  his investigation into arab terrorist cells intensifies when suicide bombers take out a busload of people  hub focuses on a mysterious cia operative  annette bening   whose goes by both  elise  and  sharon   as the terrorist attacks continue and the body count rises  the question of martial law is raised  enter general devereaux  bruce willis   who opposes martial law at first but who  as soon as the president decides to send in the army  begins herding arab immigrants into a prison camp and attacking every link that hub uncovers in the terrorist chain  hub listens as devereaux tortures and murders a suspect  the future zwick and screenwriter lawrence wright offer is all too possible  what would happen  they ask  if terrorism became as much a fact of daily life in new york as it is in cities like beirut and belfast  what would happen to our civil liberties if soldiers patrol our streets with machine guns  these questions  the siege  answers in realistic detail  it implies tougher ones  though  what can be done to combat terrorism without sacrificing justice and freedom  if we encourage terrorism abroad  from benings character we discover that the cia trained the bombers   will it inevitably come back to us   siege  avoids the tougher questions by endowing its hero  hub  with a uncompromising sense of clear right and wrong  this comforting fantasy of sir galahad confronting the evils of the modern world is an escape from the thoughtprovoking issues the movie raises  still  zwick deserves credit for at least addressing the issue with as much realism as he does where so many movies  willis  die hard  series  for example  offer only a comicbook view on terrorism  
pos	a movie thats been as highly built up as the truman show  with reviews boasting   the film of the decade   and  a breakthrough   can only be leading up to letdown  thats no doubt  it seems any movie with critical acclaim makes you think youre going in for the ride of your life  that youll end up changed on the other side  and you come out of the theater going   eh     thats  what all the fuss was about   so  naturally  the truman show was building up to what was going to be a dissapointment  and i convinced myself  as i nestled into my uncomfortable movie theater chair  actually to try not to enjoy it  let me tell you  that is an impossibilty  the truman show is truly  the film of the decade  and  a breakthrough  and more  and you will come out changed on the other side  such a movie comes around only once in a lifetime  where you find yourself feeling everything that the character is feeling  and this  friends  is it  jim carrey shows that he doesnt need to talk out of his butt to entertain us  that he can be as dramatic as any of hollywoods leading men  the film has a difficult premise to tackle  trying to set us up thirty years into the  truman shows  run  but tackle it it does  and perfectly  with flashbacks actually being flashbacks on the television show  you get the sense that you are viewing a  real  primetime hit  and the way the camera constantly takes the forms it would in the  real  truman show is clever and welldone  people  rejoice  this is the first oscarworthy film of not only this year  but of the last five years  not since  schindlers list  has a movie captured human spirit and true despair so well  this is a classic in the making  and  to borrow a line from esquires review  it stars jim carrey  nothing in his career to date and nothing he can do in the future will ever be able to top his role as truman burbank  mark my word  for  as i said  this is the movie of a lifetime and the role is of the same calibre  forget specialeffect ladden summer fodder  drop your romantic comedies in the trash  toss your thrillers and teen flicks on the pile  you need nothing more than  the truman show  to carry you through the summer  or for that matter  the year  oh  and in case i dont see you  good afternoon  good evening  and goodnight  
pos	gos is a gloriously slick hip machine  director liman  who also photographed go  and screenwriter august celebrate the drugrave scene in l  a   preferring to take  comedic  snapshots of troubled youth rather than critique them  after more than ninety minutes of pillpopping  tantric sex  car chases  and attempted murder  go even has a happy ending  this is the sort of film that gives members of the dove foundation splitting headaches  as go wound down  i anticipated an antipillpoppingcasualtantricsexcarchaseattemptedmurder sermon that  blessedly  didnt arrive  a la tarantinos pulp fiction  go is comprised of three separate but related stories  the basics are as follows  ronna  polley  is a bitter grocery store clerk facing eviction who turns to drug dealing for extra dough  her coworker  simon  the improbably named askew   is a clubber from britain ecstatic about his first trip to vegas  zack  mohr  and adam  wolf  are soap opera stars escaping a careerthreatening conviction by assisting a peculiar cop  fichtner  in a drug bust  perhaps because the innovative structure of tarantinos nonlinear masterwork is by now old hat  the idfueled go delighted me but rarely surprised me  with the exception of that mindreading cat    pulp fiction zigzagged down roads unforeseen  but we see gos wheels turning from its first flash frame to the last  torontonian polley  of the sweet hereafter  refused to do publicity for this picture on the basis that she was  not pleased with  her turn as the illfated cashier  in go  she delivers  handsdown  her best performance to date  heres an  overrated  actress who agreed to appear on the poster  but not support her team at the junket or in interviews  this sort of arrogance is commonplace for ms  polley  as anyone who has read of her political agenda in the canadian press will tell you  if she doesnt want to be the ingenue of the moment  she should have said  no   not go  but i digress  go is a fun film  so chipperly depraved one cant help but turn off his moral judgment for its duration and enjoy the ride  in that sense  its a departure from limans last film  swingers  which at least lectured against selfabsorption in the form of vince vaughans trent and his subtle comeuppance in the storys clever epilogue  which has been aped by mcdonalds for their latest commercial   i wish i cared more about gos characters  like the techno music they listen to  the bands of anarchists on display here are at once absorbing and vacuous  when the lights came up and stung my eyes  it was difficult to recall what about it entertained me  yet entertain me it did  go is light and frothy  featuring compelling if not endearing work by polley  timothy olyphant  scream 2   and especially fichtner  whose homoerotic behavior is milked for effective laughs  fichtner is a character actor best known for playing backstabbers  in heat  armageddon  and others   his previously untapped comic abilities shine in go  unlike much of the film  fichtner is unpredictable  
pos	whats shocking about  carlitos way  is how good it is  having gotten a bit of a bad rap for not being a big box office hit like pacinos previous film   scent of a woman   and not having as strong a performance as he did in that one  he had just won an oscar    carlitos way  was destined for underrated heaven  thats what it is  an underrated gem of a movie  and what a shame because pacino and de palma both do amazing jobs with it  and turn it into a great piece of a pulpy character study   carlitos way  deals with  well  carlito brigante  pacino   a puerto rican exdrug kingpin  who gets out of a long jailterm when his cokeaddicted  curlyhaired lawyer  sean penn  points out a legal technicality  of course  carlito was actually awoken in prison  and has decided to go straight  even if hes really a crook at heart  carlito  like barry lyndon  is a man who is trapped by fate at every turn  and cant escape into something he is not  carlitos attempts at a clean  legal life are thwarted at nearly every turn  when he first gets out  a friend of his ends up leading him into a big shootout  where he has to kill a couple people to survive  hes constantly getting bugged by the government to see if hes doing anything illegal  and his lawyer finds himself neckdeep in a pile of shit  needing him to try and help him out  which includes him doing some prison breaking  carlito  like ratso rizzo  wants to go to miami  since  according to film logic  thats where its at   but needs some funding  being a legend  he is quickly able to get a nice job running a big dance club  this is the 70s  by the way  and since some of this takes place in night clubs  we get to hear all sorts of 70s classics  including several k  c  and the sunshine band tunes  my personal favorite   he gets a bodyguard  the great luis guzman  at his best   and is soon running a pretty good business  even if hes constantly attracting underworld young thugs  like benny blanco  from the bronx   john leguiziamo   who is more than once pointed out to be a young version of carlito  on the other side  the symbol of promise and hope  is gail  penelope ann miller  what happened to her    his girlfriend from before prison  shes a goregeous ballerina  and a stripper  and soon carlito is trying to get back with her  and take her with him when he finally leaves for miami  while this relationship is never fully defined or anything  we get a sense of love between them  and they have some truly interesting scenes between them  she never gives him addresses or locales  he always has to track her down   all of these elements clash together at the end  in a brilliantly executed  emotional climax  which is inevitable  when i say inevitable  i mean we see it at the beginning and then backtrack  putting a great spin on it  sure  its going to eleveate some of the tension  but it gives the film a lot of depth  as carlito is seen trapped by fate  whats amazing is the big chase sequence  amazingly done by de palma  has a lot of tension and thrills  like  apollo 13   we know whats going to happen  but were still thrilled by what happens in the middle  its also very emotional  thanks to a great script by david koepp  and amazing performances by pacino and miller  de palma is famous  or infamous  for lots of violence in his films  his earlier flim   scarface   which starred pacino in the lead   has a ton of it  especially at the end  and a nasty chainsaw scene towards the beginning which im still not over   but de palma actually reigns in more quieter scenes  to me  the best scene in the film is when carlito is on top of a building  looking down into the room where gail is doing ballet  this is the most brilliantly done  and most emotionally stimulating scene in the entire film  and probably the best in de palma film history  with a gorgeous soprano duet in the background  and rain pouring down onto a trashcan lid covering carlitos head  and a saddened  remorseful look on pacinos face  its a tearjerker  well  for me  i dunno about you      the acting from all is great  especially from the three leads  pacino was panned for his performance  chiefly because his accent wasnt puerto rican enough and  well  it wasnt as  strong  as his oscarwinning role in  scent of a woman   well  his  scent of a woman  performance was great and all  but it was nothing really but  as comic kevin pollack said  a  foghorn leghorn impression   in  carlitos way   hes emotional  and strong  despite the fact that hes remorseful over his entire lifestyle  which he cannot change  i felt more for carlito brigante than i did for the tangodancing  insultthrowing blind guy in  scent of a woman   as i said  penelope ann miller is great  and she and pacino actually have very good chemistry  and theyre scenes are wellwritten  with some good clever dialogue which adds some interest to an otherwise bland relationship  and sean penn is amazing as the cokeaddicted rat attorney  every scene hes in  he has great energy  and even measures up to the greatness that is pacino  in smaller roles  john leguiziamo and luis guzman are great   carlitos way  is one of those films which you heard about briefly  but when you finally watch it  youre absolutely blown away  its a wonderful film  a highly underrated little masterpiece which was shelved after it didnt do so hot  but trust me and check it out  its a great little film  and proof that the residential critics and mass populus are not always right  
pos	life is beautiful is a rare treat  a lighthearted comedy that tackles a very serious subject without committing the sins of being disrespectful  or  even worse  humorless  it combines a charming romance with a dash of farce  stirs in a little poignancy  and ends up a very enjoyable movie  its an italian film  but dont let that discourage you  subtitlephobes will be missing a wonderful experience  life is beautiful opens as a sweet romantic comedy  with the clownish  but good natured guido  roberto benigni  arriving in a rustic italian town to work as a waiter for his uncle  the year is 1939  and guido literally stumbles into the girl of his dreams  dora  nicoletta braschi   their romance seems to be picture perfect  with only one stumbling block  shes already engaged to another man  can guido overcome the odds and win his girl  what do you think  however  five years later  things have taken a turn for the worse in italy  the fascists have stepped up their race initiatives  which is bad news for the jewish guido and his new son giosue  giorgio cantarini   who are rounded up and shipped off to a concentration camp  unable to protect his boy in any other way  guido attempts to shield his young son from the horrors of the labor camp  he pretends that everything is all an elaborate game  with points awarded for such tasks as hiding  being brave and being very very quiet  as you can tell from the description  life is beautiful has two very different tones  but manages to excel at both of them  as a romantic comedy  it is sweet and funny  as a bittersweet tale of hope amid despair  it is touching  roberto benignis work here has been compared with some of the best of chaplins  and it is easy to see why  he is able to run the gamut of comic expression  from slapstick to farce  with a warmhearted feeling that celebrates his downtrodden heros  triumph of the underdog  spirit  life is beautiful treads a thin line when it turns its attentions to the holocaust  however  it is able to successfully navigate the minefield  without demeaning the gravity of the horrors involved  nor without losing its humorous edge that allows you to smile through the tears  with life is beautiful  benigni has created a triumphant  but bittersweet comedy  its quite simply one of the most enjoyable times ive had at the movies this year  
pos	youve probably heard the one about the priest and the rabbi  but never with the same dosage of featherweight charm that is sprinkled over keeping the faith  its a fluffy comedy  thoroughly glazed with a sense of innocuous innocence and good cheer  regarding two moral topics  love and religion  and how a romantic triangle causes the two to collide headon  as youngsters  brian finn  jacob schramm and anna reilly were an inseparable trio  while their friendship progressed  anna always had the compassion to shower them both with the same love and support  so neither would feel excluded  but tragedy soon struck  as anna was forced to move away  now adults  brian  edward norton  and jacob  ben stiller  hold similar but contrastive jobs  the likable and kindhearted father brian is a catholic priest  while the spry and outgoing jacob acts as a jewish rabbi  on the basketball court  they refer to themselves as the god squad  in the relationship field  brian abides by his catholic principle of celibacy  but jacob has reached the point where finding a jewish bride is practically mandatory  everything changes when anna  jenna elfman  returns to new york to visit her childhood chums  now a workaholic  she devotes endless hours per week to her business  but does find spare time to reminisce with brian and jacob  both ecstatic about seeing their elementary school sweetheart once again  with these oddball ingredients tossed into one cocktail  theres bound to be some awkward romance between our three central characters  predicting the outcome is not entirely difficult  but keeping the faith is open  entertaining and refreshingly relaxed as it travels en route from point a to point b  edward norton has emerged as one of the finest  most flexibly versatile actors in hollywood  a success story sparked by his critically lauded debut in the 1996 thriller primal fear  after shockingly bitter roles in american history x and  most recently  david finchers vicious fight club  a quaint romantic comedy might seem like a peculiar choice  not in the least  norton slips into the directors chair for the first time with keeping the faith  and here his incisive  resourceful approach helps add additional craft to a surprisingly perceptive screenplay by stuart blumberg  weighing every aspect  it is unanimously an impressive directorial debut  in addition  norton pushes all the right buttons with the sheepish sweetheart brian  generating a thoroughly likable screen presence  stiller  the zipper guy from theres something about mary  is firm and funny  boasting a fullyripened comic maturity  elfmans perky repetition can grow tiresome  such is occasionally the case on tvs dharma and greg   but she seems perfectly rambunctious here  the remaining cast members offer fine support  from anne bancroft as jacobs animated jewish mom to milos forman as an elderly priest quick to contribute intelligent advice  keeping the faith is the perfect date flick    though perfection is not a word to associate with the film in general  there is turbulence during the process of liftoff  as numerous failed attempts at establishing the situation cloud the projected comedy ahead  once the film does settle in  it is often funny and always cheerful  stiller  norton and elfman have created three enormously lovable personalities  we enjoy their interaction  understand their various dilemmas and feel humbled to realize everything rings perfectly true  this is excluding the ending  which is acceptable and all  but seems to lack the charm and spontaneity of the preceding romantic entanglements  nonetheless  a narrowly mishandled finale certainly wont wipe the smile off your face  nor anyone elses in the audience  keeping the faith is a highly enjoyable romantic comedy  although one that is more observant while surveying the questions of love rather than religion  aww  what the hell  the quality is not quite heavensent  but this little charmer could revive our faith in a potentially tired filmmaking genre  
pos	naturally  at the core of leon gasts  when we were kings  is the fight itself  for what a fight it was  thanks to the business savvy of don king  an ageing muhammad ali was pitted against the formidable hulk of heavyweight champion george foreman  fans were treated to an 8 round battle of endurance and strategy  as much as brute strength  that immediately entered boxing lore  with the benefit of the firsthand recollections of that old expug norman mailer  this classic conflict is brought back to life  but  when we were kings  tackles issues that are harder to pin down than the simple facts of a boxing match  questions of political power and social justice appear throughout this documentary  gast could hardly choose otherwise  considering the vocal  uncompromising politics of muhammad ali  a member of the controversial black separatist movement the nation of islam  ali opens gasts film with a forceful swipe at the united states  when ali hollers  damn america  the audience knows the imprecation is heartfelt  the brutal yet casual way it is uttered leaves no doubt that ali is speaking his mind  his decision to buck the draft for vietnam is defended with the same admirable fury   no viet cong ever called me nigger   ali reasons  despite showcasing alis proud unequivocal politics  one of the most impressive features of  when we were kings  is the subtle way in which the documentary considers the difficulties inherent in the overarching philosophy of black unity and black symbolism that ali and his supporters champion  listening to the films numerous commentators  it is clear that the geographic location for this  rumble in the jungle  is etched more in the imagination than anywhere you could place on a map  spike lee tells us that the event was a pilgrimage  a  coming home  to africa  foreman reminds us that africa is the  cradle of civilisation   fair enough  but this homeland is a specific nation cursed with a less than inspiring reality  it is the newly founded zaire and it is ruled by president mobutu  a brutal dictator  while ali respects mobutus ability to forge an independent african state  mailer notes that beneath the stadium in which the titans battled lay hidden the presidents wellstocked torture chambers  mailers insights are lost on most of the films commentators  george plimpton recalls that he always felt he was in the congo  rather than the newly christened zaire  with admirable restraint  gast quietly suggests that for many the grandeur of myth and history all but obscured the reality of zaire s squalid ruling elite  mobutu is not the only dubious character to benefit from the heady symbolism of black power  don king  resplendent in yellow kaftan and at ease with the  messiah  label attributed to him by a loyal disciple  passes himself off as the voice of a new black international solidarity  understandably  foreman believes he has gotten a raw deal  he may be  as one sympathiser notes   blacker  than ali  but he is denied the iconic status shared by ali  the thuggish mobutu  and the tacky huckster don king  africa  zaire  inspirational leader or vicious dictator  all is left undifferentiated  unconsidered  in this optimistic celebration of black unity  little wonder that the people of zaire were shocked to find that alis opponent wasnt white  admittedly  these issues are only hinted at  rather than substantially explored  the audience must consider the significance of these issues themselves  in their own time  there is just too much to cover  too much that is truly worthy of celebration  for a protracted political analysis to be justified  the excitement of james brown and b  b king in concert  for instance  and of course theres always ali to consider  as he shamelessly  and hilariously  hams it up in front of the camera  shadow boxing and uttering one inspired rhyme after another   we gonna get it on coz we dont get along    doubtlessly  considering the multifaceted nature of the extravaganza they chose to cover  the makers of  when we were kings  faced numerous difficulties in deciding what issues  and what personalities  best deserved their attention  fortunately  by refusing to simplify their complex subject matter  they have captured the richness and excitement of this unique event  
pos	kolya is one of the richest films ive seen in some time  zdenek sverak plays a confirmed old bachelor  whos likely to remain so   who finds his life as a czech cellist increasingly impacted by the fiveyear old boy that hes taking care of  though it ends rather abruptly and im whining  cause i wanted to spend more time with these characters the acting  writing  and production values are as high as  if not higher than  comparable american dramas  this fatherandson delight sverak also wrote the script  while his son  jan  directed won a golden globe for best foreign language film and  a couple days after i saw it  walked away an oscar  in czech and russian  with english subtitles  
pos	anna and the king strides onto the screen in full regalia  wearing a brilliant suit of sumptuous landscapes  deep  vibrant colors and an epic storyline  its true beauty comes from its subtle ruminations on the politics of power  whether its between governments  or the interplay between a man and a woman  anna  jodie foster  is a widowed british schoolteacher with a touch of wanderlust trying to grasp her quicksilver feelings concerning the recent death of her husband  with son in tow  she takes the employ of king mongkut  chow yunfat  to tutor his son in the english language  mongkut sees the strength of the british and correctly surmises that his countrys future lies in opening itself up to the ways of the western world  anna function is to help provide that link  the core of the film  of course  deals with the blossoming love between anna and mongkut as it attempts to germinate in the unfriendly soil of a shifting political climate  foster plays anna with equal parts clenched jaw and wideeyed wonder  she is assertive  yet  respectful of the king as she initially tries to impose her western sensibilities upon him  it is one of fosters strongest performances since silence of the lambs in a role she could not have played earlier in her career  she brings a mature self awareness and determination that might not have come across from a younger foster  its a joy to watch her cagily bargain for her own measure of influence within the realm of mongkuts monarchy  when she makes her entrance into a politically charged banquet midfilm  she exudes a hypnotic beauty that is deepened by her textured performance  chowyun fats king mongkut is every measure of fosters anna  perhaps even more so  this is the chow yunfat that hong kong cinema has been in love with for nearly twenty years  he is imposing  yet vulnerable  playful  but stern  it is an impressively assured and nuanced performance  precious time is stolen from the movies 155 minutes running time by an unengaging subplot involving one the kings concubines  bai ling  and her love of a commoner  it strikes with the subtlety of siams fabled white elephant as it stomps through the leisurely paced story  some may be put off by the action filled climax of the movie  although a bit inconsistent in tone from the rest of the film  it fits within the established subplot of a perceived siege by neighboring burma  a country backed by the british  anna and the king transcends being a predictable  traditional love story by avoiding mawkishness  it shows a seduction of intelligence  ever mindful of each others positions  anna and king mongkut negotiate a maze of social customs  conflicting world views and lost loved ones to connect on a level that ultimately proves deeply satisfying  if not achingly bittersweet  
pos	while screen adaptations of john irvings novels have been disappointingly uneven  the films have all shared one particular strength  key casting  who can forget john lithgow as roberta muldoon  the transsexual quarterback of  the world according to garp   or nastassja kinski as susie the bear in  the hotel new hampshire   a lot of good casting decisions have gone into the making of  the cider house rules   an adaptation of irvings poetic 1994 novel about a restless young man called homer wells  among those sound judgments was the decision to have the splendid tobey maguire assume the pivotal role  the decision to cast michael caine as his mentor and father figure  dr  wilbur larch  the etheraddicted head obstetrician of the st  clouds orphanage  maine  and the decision to offer jane alexander and kathy baker supporting roles as his head nurses  then there are the brethren who populate the apple orchard where homer wells finds himself shortly after leaving st  clouds  including delroy lindo  oscar  worthy as the foreman of the migrant work detail that drifts up and down the coast as the seasons take them  theres kate nelligan as the matriarch of the cider house  and charlize theron as candy  the lovely  lonely wife of a wwii bomber pilot  paul rudd  sent away on a mission overseas leaving candy to set lobster traps with homer wells  a man whos never seen the ocean before let alone a lobster  am i forgetting anyone  yes  kieran culkin and paz de la huerta as dissolute orphanage residents who make you sit up and take notice every time theyre on the screen  but with  the cider house rules   the good people decisions dont end with the cast  irving has written his own screenplay in order to get it right this time  last years  simon birch   loosely based on his  a prayer for owen meaney   was a bigscreen example of irving handled substandardly   the author appears fleetingly as a stationmaster here  rachel portman  a composer of such sweet and lyrical tenderness  provides a score thats absolutely right for the projectsweet  lyrical  and tender  theres impressive new england photography by oliver stapleton too  last but by no means least is  my life as a dog  director lasse hallstr  m  who shows enormous skill in pulling this collective together and helping bring irvings marvelously touching story to life  for the many beloved who pass away in  the cider house rules   its an extraordinarily lifeaffirming story  and now  thanks to these talented individuals  its an extraordinarily lifeaffirming film  
pos	scream 2 has a titillating little scene that lays down the unwritten law of horror movie sequels quite well  during a filmclass discussion  windsor college students articulate what these inevitable laws are  and why sequels never live up to the originals  a few rare exceptions are noted  but they left out one    scream 2  1996s surprise horror blockbuster scream became an instant hit and developed an obsessive coterie of fans which included almost every teenager in america  a sequel was unavoidable  but luckily the reteaming of writer kevin williamson and director wes craven gives us nothing to fear in the way of lost entertainment  in fact  at the risk of sounding sacrilegious to all the adorning fans of scream  i would say that scream 2 might even be the better film  sidney prescott  neve campbell   the sinuous heroine who survived a series of murders in woodsboro  ca in the original scream  is now two years older and off to college  majoring in theater  meanwhile  tv journalist gale weathers  courtney cox   who covered the murders in the first film  has since written a book about the dreadful events  a book titled  stab   which has been developed into a major motion picture  as scream 2 opens  a crowd of overzealous teenagers are piling into a crowded movie theater for the premiere of  stab   and before long  a young couple are butchered to death  unnoticed in the midst of hysteria  this marks the beginning of a new murder spree as an unknown  copycat  sets out to repeat whats been done    and finish what hasnt  of course the killer is just as obsessed with movies as the killer in the first film  and yes  movies play a huge role in the bizarre psychological outlook the murderer holds as heshe goes about slaying an assortment of gorgeous twenty year olds  but this  is  a sequel  and without deviating from the original groundwork we are still given a fresh outlook on horror movies  this is in large part due to williamsons deliciously written script  which will easily leave you satisfied  as much as the film condemns the use of cliches  it is riddled with them  but it is done so effectively  and with skillful direction by craven  that youre not bound to complain  i will note  however  that the  whodunit   did wind up being the first person i suspected  but believe me  i kept changing my mind as i tried to stay one ahead of the movie  all the actors outdo themselves here  were not talking oscar performances  but cambell  cox  david arquette as dewey riley  and jamie kennedy as randy all give surprisingly satisfying performances that go beyond their last outing  the characters remain true to their roots  and yet show a clear sign of development over the last two years  we can see how the events in the first film has affected them  but we dont lose any of the luster that made them such a delight to watch in the first place  the nice thing about scream 2 is that it doesnt seem offkilter from its predecessor  its a natural  smooth  and believable  as far as horror films go  transition from film to film  we skip two years  but there doesnt seem to be any holes or shortcuts taken in connecting the two flicks  it flows so well that you feel more like youre reading chapter two of a book  long chapters  eh   than just revitalizing a cast of familiar faces  while main characters are usually the only connection in sequels  scream 2s entire plot structure correlates  completely  with the first  making for immediate fondness and absorption  as i said before  scream 2 easily lives up to  if not surpassing  its precursor  the only reason scream will likely be hailed above scream 2 is because it was the first  this doesnt mean that it overcasts the unique  whimsical humor or overall caliber of its sequel  it just means that scream will forever be known as the movie that mocked its own while maintaining its soughtafter qualities  if ever a film followed its original so well  it would be scream 2  and it makes this a definite mustsee for all those unbridled scream fans out there  scream 2 fits snugly alongside scream  and will hopefully receive as many high remarks  it would top off the series quite well  if it werent for the fact that two movies dont really make a series  its unlikely to assume that a scream 3 wont appear in the next few years  but if they do decide to turn this into an undeniably acclaimed horrortrilogy  lets hope they can keep up the fantastic work  like they say  dont mess with perfection    but when a moneymaking smashhit is almost guaranteed  whos gonna listen  
pos	devotees of robert a  heinlein  be forewarned  paul verhoevens starship troopers is less an adaptation of heinleins novel than it is a literary satire  the authors jingoalltheway militarism and his tendency to create plastic characters with plastic conflicts had me expecting a soulless  faceless parade of carnage from the film version  and i suppose thats exactly what verhoeven delivers  with sometimes hilarious results  heinleins basic motifs are so faithfully rendered that their flaws become a source of amusement  while their strengths become the stuff of highenergy entertainment  outlining the plot of starship troopers is a fairly silly endeavor  since its basically a big bug hunt    aliens in broad daylight  sometime in the future  humanity is threatened by giant  malevolent insects which have evolved into twentyfoottall action figures  arachnids with superimpaling spikes  beetles that spew forth lava  dragonflies with guillotine legs   among those who sign on to save the earth are a group of high school classmates from buenos aires  conflicted rich kid johnny rico  casper van dien   his math whiz girlfriend carmen  denise richards   dizzy  dina meyer   who secretly carries a torch for johnny  and carl  neil patrick  doogie howser  harris   who notsosecretly carries a torch for dizzy  and also has a talent for speaking telepathically to ferrets  while carmen heads for flight school and carl joins military intelligence  johnny and dizzy become mobile infantry  their various battles intertwining with romantic subplots out of a third season episode from  beverly hills 90210   so if starship troopers is another movie where onedimensional characters wade through trite situations on their way to killing a bunch of aliens  what makes it any better than  say  independence day  a movie where onedimensional characters waded through trite situations on their way to killing a bunch of slightly different aliens  for one thing  you sense that the filmmakers are aware of the pulp nonsense they have as source material  the very absence of major stars in the cast feels thematically appropriate  not just fiscally prudent  if starship troopers had been turned into a tvmovie  aaron spelling would have produced it  its a story which requires emoting  not acting  its a prime time soap opera with big guns  played for all the dopey melodrama its worth  the noname cast also plays into verhoevens treatment of heinleins most controversial conceit  in this society  we learn  one can only be a full citizen after completing some sort of federal service  military for most  verhoeven pays the notion plenty of lip service  then proceeds to skewer it with brilliant mock recruitment ads  named after the world war iiera  why we fight  series  in which youngsters are indoctrinated into the joys of firearms  or the pleasures of stomping cockroaches  these characters really are just  fresh meat for the grinder   as one character puts it  which makes their lack of familiarity all the more fitting  its not that starship troopers is antimilitary  because it never treats the true horror of war as anything but a great big  violent video game  in fact  the characters are living the propaganda  particularly johnny  who receives so many field promotions he may not remember his own rank by the time the film ends   verhoeven is actually having it both ways  hes making fun of gungho boosterism even as he fires his freshfaced recruits into battle on a gungho booster rocket of visual effects  if that makes starship troopers hypocritical  at least its enthusiastically staged hypocrisy  there may not be a person worth caring about in the whole film  but it moves like nobodys business  verhoeven stages some thrilling action sequences  sending swarms of bugs after the anonymous grunts then having various body parts strewn about the screen like landscaping  it is that rare special effects blockbuster which demonstrates a sense of pacing to match its budget  i was caught up in the action enough of the time that i wasnt perpetually groaning over the absence of real human beings  i wish i could find it in myself to work up more outrage over the callous way humans are dispatched in starship troopers  but it didnt work out that way  that would be punishing verhoeven for getting to the heart of his material  
pos	no  it is not a bad film  in fact it is so good in achieving its  purpose  i actually wished for the film to end itself quickly  event  horizon is not your runofthemill scifi film  im sure many who have  watched this will agree with me  it is not even original in that sense   and it does borrow heavily from films like alien  hellraiser and even  blade runner  the magic of this film lies in its unorthodox setting and  methodical buildup that makes it wonderfully horrifying  the story brings us to the year 2050  where space travel have since  enormously progressed  the event horizon is actually a ship built for a  secret experimental purpose  it has the ability to fold time and space  thus making it possible for travelling distances not reachable in a  mans lifetime  the ship disappeared as soon as it went into operation  but after 7 years  it reappeared again within the orbit of neptune  a  search and rescue team led by miller  fishburne  is given the task to  check for survivors of the event horizon  the designer of the ship  dr   weir  neill  follows along to satisfy his curiosity on what actually  happened to his otherwise technologically impressive ship  event horizon is a scifi horror film  much truer to the word than say   alien would ever be  while in alien  the crew has to cope with a  ferocious creature while encased within tight spaces  in event horizon   the forces which goes against the crew is undefined but yet so powerful  and horrifying  the story unfolds itself slowly and the suspense buildup  is superb  up till the point where i really felt like saying out loud  enough  i cant stand this anymore    there are more than enough jolts  to send your adrenalin pumping overtime  the story in itself is not  exactly something very exciting and also  the acting is only at most   average by most commercial standards  even so  the essence of horror is  carried out very well in this film  thanks to its wellpaced  storytelling  disturbing set designs and some really gory sequences   which incidentally  has been quite generously removed by our censorship  board   20 director paul anderson  who did mortal kombat  and his team of  atmosphere creators have done well in keeping event horizon within the  bounds of the term horror  this picture did not do very well in the us  boxoffice most probably for the dreadfactor impact it has on most  audiences  people will not see it again and not many would recommend  their friend to watch this  although on the face of it  event horizon is  mostly molded for massentertainment  many thrills  spills and suspense  to keep audiences in focus  however  the offbeat horror element which it  ultimately convey audiences is very disturbing  my friend and i could  not say a word to each other for quite a while after going through the  experience of event horizon  i guess it was just the immense feeling  of dread which the film had cast upon us  be forewarned  this film is not for the fainthearted nor for pure  entertainment  be prepared to be disturbed if you should decide to watch  this film  event horizon is highly recommended8585but at your own  risk  it has been a long time since goodhorror embraced the big screen   and event horizon is one  
pos	the  italian hitchcock  and acknowledged master of the giallo murdermystery dario argento again offers us a fascinating turn on the formula in pheneomena  this time the twist comes in the form of jennifer corvino  jennifer connelly   a bright teenager with gift for telepathically communicating with insects  sent to a girls boarding school in switzerland  she soon learns of a series of bizarre disappearances and at least one murder that has the schools population terrified  a chance meeting with a brilliant entomologist  donald pleasance  leads the two of them to team up and solve the mystery with the aid of her remarkable gift  phenomena is an imaginative  original thriller  writerdirector argento creates several sequences of surreal  haunting beauty here  including a masterfully shot sleepwalking episode and a striking scene when a swarm of flying insects descends on the school at jennifers beckoning  the plot takes some wonderfully bizarre turns and the killers identity is genuinely shocking and surprising  the director took a big gamble with a soundtrack that mixes elements as diverse as heavy metal band iron maiden  exrolling stone bill wyman  and argentos favourite gothicelectronic outfit goblin  but it gels surprisingly well  the films opening music reccurs several times  an eerie and evocative score that perfectly sets the overall tone  argento fans beware  the film was released outside europe in a terribly butchered form retitled as creepers  this deleted nearly half an hour of footage  mainly of key dialogue scenes  
pos	film adaptation of hunter s  thompsons infamous semiautobiographical hallucinogenfueled book of the same title  director terry gilliam of twelve monkeys  810  and brazil  710  fame  took over the helm of this project after fellow director alex cox  sid and nancy  7  510    apparently alienated everyone associated with the movie   according to gilliam  plot  writer thompson  depp  heads down to las vegas with his attorney dr  gonzo  del toro  to cover a motorcycle race  during their trip  they systematically consume  two bags of grass  seventyfive pellets of mescaline  five sheets of high powered blotter acid  a salt shaker halffull of cocaine  a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers  downers  screamers  laughers  a quart of tequila  a quart of rum  a case of beer  a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls  the movie presents us with the results of that heavy drug use  critique  i have given this movie two separate ratings because i believe that the enjoyment of this psychedelic picture is highly correlated with the amount of drugs or alcohol that would be floating around in the viewers own mind  whilst inhaling this cinematic vision of excess  if you are prepared to get high or intoxicated before watching this film  i would say that this is one picture that you will thoroughly enjoy on a multitude of colorful levels  if  on the other hand  you decide to stray from the addition of nefarious elements to your system  i could not imagine you truly appreciating much of this druginduced pictures entire ride  5  510 for all those sober dogs   note  i have not read thompsons book  having said that  joblo did engage in an alcoholbased consumatory session before  and during  the viewing of this film  so his critique of the film should be appreciated on that level  this movie relies heavily on style and peculiar humour  rather than substance or plot  it moves admirably from one scene to the next  without much basis of their being  while presenting us with the two days in the life of writer hunter s  thompson during which he seemed to consume more drugs and alcohol than anyone could ever imagine  it was 1971  and the times were apparently  a changing  in the states  johnny depp chews into his role like an overgrown child sucking on a chocolate lollipop  during the filming  depp apparently become fast friends with reallife writer thompson  and was known to wander off the set from time to time  for the sake of checking out the newest barmaid at the local watering hole  i thought he did seem to exaggerate his walk a little bit too much  but then again  this movie is supposed to be a wild exaggeration of everything and anything  so who am i to talk  the one thing that did blow my mind was the actual physical transformation endured by actor benicio del toro for his role as dr  gonzo  i couldnt believe that this fat  samoan lawyer  was the same guy who played the slick mumbling criminal in the usual suspects  7  510   word on the street is that gained over 40 pounds for this role  and i must say that his look was deliciously reprehensible  plenty of cameos also pepper this kaleidoscopic moving picture in the form of ellen barkin  christina ricci  tobey maguire and cameron diaz  along with a bunch of others  other than that  the soundtrack was expectedly eclectic  the style was not as wild as i thought it would be  and the ending was certainly not much of a barnburner  but then again  who really noticed  this movie is about visions of bats floating through your head  johnny depp looking goofy and being bald  and the cornucopia of drugravaged scenes filling your own intoxicated system with ideas of anarchy  rebellion and the lost american dream  and for all those who plan on seeing this movie without the partnership of a mean drink or a mighty doobie  i suggest you move further down the aisle  buy yourself a ticket to godzilla  610   and enjoy the visual fabrications manufactured for the unstimulated mind  little known facts  depp and del toro snorted plenty of powdered milk instead of cocaine  bill murray also portrayed a thompsonbased character in the film where the buffalo roam  johnny depp turned down roles in the three musketeers  speed  7  510   and legends of the fall  7  510   for smaller and quirkier roles in benny and joon  6  510  and whats eating gilbert grape   710   in 1988  depp told rolling stone magazine that hed tried every drug by the age of 14  johnny hung out with some of the members of oasis while filming the uncompleted divine rapture in ireland  and later played some slide guitar on the 1997 album  be here now  johnny was born in kentucky  is a highschool dropout  has nicknamed himself  mr  stench   has been engaged to four women until now  including actress winona ryder  whose  winona forever  tattoo had to be altered to  wino forever  after their breakup   currently plays guitar in a band called  p   and owns the viper room nightclub in l  a  
pos	what is freedom  how does one determine who is free  in 1839  those questions were more difficult to answer then they are now  yet  the mistakes of our forefathers must be examined in order to rectify current situations  that is  in essence  what steven spielbergs gripping drama  amistad  is about  through its various dramas  spielberg presents a case about a group of africans  who  after being seized from their home  were forced onto a ship and sent to the united states aboard  la amistad   on their way there  the slaves  led by cinque  djimon hounsou   rebelled  killing off part of the crew  however  the ship was still directed towards the united states  where the africans were brought to trial under murder  in the court  various factions claim ownership of the slaves  and therefore try to seize them away  the united states government  led by president martin van buren  nigel hawthorne   and secretary of state secretary forsyth  david paymer   try to ship the africans to spain  where an 11 year old isabella ii  anna paquin  wants them back  the two spaniards who own  la amistad  want the slaves for themselves  the american ship that found the slaves also wants them  in the midst of this are two abolitionists  stellan skaarsgard and morgan freeman   who want the slaves to be free  they enlist the help of lawyer matthew mcconaughey  who tries to free them  through various legal proceedings  the case appears before the supreme court  where it is argued by expresident john quincy adams  anthony hopkins   the film itself is a visual wonder  spielberg favorite janusz kaminski sets the film in a dark  somber mood when appropriate  and a visual setting when appropriate as well  at times  the film is very slow  and very methodical  however  spielberg is not at his finest here  because the courtroom scenes have a tendency to lag  the film is  in essence  a courtroom drama  one whose events are oversimplified  the characterization is also weak  displaying weaknesses in building up characters such as the lawyer baldwin  mcconaughey   and especially morgan freemans abolitionist  but spielbergs finest work in the film  the opening scene  a scene of cinques family  and the brutal voyage of the slaves to america  is altogether stunning  it is this emotional force that carries the film  mcconaughey is superb as the lawyer defending the africans  hopkins is sensational as the old adams  freeman is outstanding when used  spielberg vastly under uses his supreme talents   and the rest of the cast is stellar  the movie  however  belongs to hounsou  his emotional intensity is brilliant  spielberg manages to make even the slowest scenes sparkle with focus on hounsou  and the films extraordinary power is simply captivating  the film is flawed  for most of the supporting characters are merely cardboard  but that doesnt matter  the story is a gripping one  and one of extreme importance  kudos to spielberg for finding it  finding the right men for the job  and letting the audience listen to the words of cinque  a good job all around  
pos	your friends and neighbors is a rather bizarre film about 6 people  who hop in and out of bed with each other  written and directed by neil labute  whos first film   in the company of men  was simply marvelous  disappoints a bit here with this one  the story involves two couples  ben stiller  catherine keener and aaron eckhart  amy brenneman   an artist assistant  nastassja kinski   and an egotistical women abuser  jason patric   the characters names are not apparent and are not mentioned in the entire movie  each of the characters has their own sexual style and they dont seem to  merge  together well  so the group experiments behind their respective partners back  there are some hysterical scenes  one involves jason patric  aaron eckhart  and ben stillers characters  they are all in a sauna  talking about their best  lay   when jason patrics character makes a surprising confession  the whole scene is hilarious and exceptionally well written and acted  the enjoyed this movie  although it seemed a tad lengthy  even though it only runs 99 min    the films cast is exceptional with oscar caliber performances by catherine keener  aaron eckhart  and jason patric  i would not recommend this film  to people who are offended by conversations that are very sexually explicit  it did seem to offend people  more than half of the people in the theater left during the film  although your friends and neighbors doesnt have the power of labutes earlier film it still manages to be somewhat entertaining and funny  while maintaining a melancholy philosophy on human relationships  
pos	i love this movie  and ive just seen for the umptenth time  unfortunately  it is also completly unknown and very few have seen it  its my mission in life to spread the word  see this movie  fred  george  doug and howie are reaching middleage  three of them have a wife  kids and a house in the suburb with a mortgage to pay  only fred is still a bachelor  together they take the local train every morning to work in town  on one of their organized thursday evenings at a bar  fred tells them of his boss and the arrangements he has made to keep a mistress  he has gotten an apartment in downtown where he can meet her but has told his wife that he needs the apartment to spend the night after staff meetings every thursday night  since they always split everything four ways  they decide that they should get an apartment with a young woman as well  kathy  however  kathy isnt completly honest to them  in fact  she is a sociology student writing a thesis about the sex life of the suburban male  with these four species she believes that she will make a very good paper  ok  have one thing clear though  the romantic rendezvous between kathy and each of the men are completly innocent  the script stays above the waist  or to be precise  above the neck  noboyd claims that kathy is their mistress  the four guys call her their companion  the censorship board here in sweden considered it to be suitable only for people above 15 years  but that only shows how long ago 1962 was  small children could watch this without being corrupted  kim novak is as lovely as always in this movie  even if she seems to be a bit too old for a student  james garner is the playboy just like in many other movies  i liked howard morris the best as howard the accountant who has to diet to support his wife  tony randall is funny as always  1962 was more than 35 years ago  how many accountants  copywriters or investment bankers can today afford to live in a house in the suburb with a lot of kids and a wife who does not work  this is the white middle class  i cant remember that i saw any blacks on the commuter train they use  these are the people who can count on their kids to live an even better life than themselves  perhaps this should also be a subject for a thesis in movie sociology  
pos	i remember seeing the trailer of the black cauldron on the pinocchio video  it really scared me  and i didnt want to go see it  however  after i heard about how wonderful it was  i wanted to see it  i didnt get a chance to do so  until now  the film  disneys 25th animated feature  opens with a menacing shot of a great black cauldron unshrouded by mist as a narrator begins to tell the tale  a long time ago in the land of prydain  there was a king so evil  that his spirit was captured in the cauldron  it has been hidden for centuries  and whoever possesses it will have the power to conjure up an army of deathless warriors  and with them rule the world  and destroy it  then  we meet a farmerwizard  dallben  and his young apprentice  taran  taran dreams of being a warrior instead of being a pigkeeper  they have a pig named henwen   one day  as he gives hen wen a nice warm bath  the pig goes crazy  and dallben then realizes  after watching hen wens thoughts through a bucket of water  that taran must hide hen wen in the forest  an evil ruler known as the horned king is searching for the black cauldron  and only hen wen has the power to show its location  taran leads hen wen into the forest  but of course  he loses her  and tries to go find her  along the way  he meets up with a mischievous little creature named gurgi  who desires munchings and crunchings  much to his dismay  besides  he stole an apple that taran was trying to use to bring back hen wen   when he hears hen wens squeal from far away  though  he races to her rescue  only to see her get kidnapped by dragonlike gwythants  taran chases after the gwythants and finds himself staring at the horned kings castle from far away  taran climbs the castle walls  and brings himself into the castle  where he attempts to rescue hen wen  he manages to do so  but he is himself captured and thrown into the dungeon  there  he meets princess eilonwy  and her magic bauble  another thing which the horned king was hoping to use to find the cauldron   and the two escape through the deep castle walls  along the way  taran finds a sword in a burial chamber  and they rescue a comic bard named fflewdurr flamm  who has a harp whose strings break whenever he tells a lie  the three manage to escape the horned kings castle  but not before taran realizes that his sword is magic  as they rest in the forest  gurgi reappears  claiming to have found hen wens trail  he leads taran  eilonwy and fflewdurr  by way of pig tracks  to a whirlpool  suddenly  they all get sucked under  and they meet the fairylike fairfolk  taran is reunited with hen wen  and informed that the black cauldron is hidden in the land of morva  he then devises a crazy idea that if they can destroy the cauldron  it would prevent the horned king from destroying their world  with the help of a grumpy fairy named doli  the four travelers manage to find themselves at a mysterious cottage  it turns out to be no ordinary cottage  three comically strange witches inhabit the place  when taran tells them that they are searching for the black cauldron  they agree to let him have it  in exchange for his sword  taran agrees  much to eilonwys horror  but at least they get the black cauldron  but  the cauldron cant be destroyed  only its evil powers can be stopped  the only way to do so is for a living being to climb into it of his own free will  never to return alive  things take a turn for the worse when the horned kings henchmen capture taran  eilonwy  and fflewdurr  along with the black cauldron  and lead them back to the castle  taran  eilonwy  and fflewdurr watch in horror as the horned king unleashes the supernatural powers of the cauldron to ressurect his army of deathless warriors  this is the most horrifying scene in the film  because here  a dead army comes alive    just when all seems lost  though  gurgi reappears  and rescues taran  eilonwy  and fflewdurr  taran is about to jump into the black cauldron  but gurgi stops him  not wanting him to throw his life away  gurgi then jumps into the black cauldron  and the deathless warriors decay  taran tries to find a way to rescue gurgi  but he is forced to do battle against the horned king  he kicks the horned king away  who is then magically sucked into the black cauldron  where its powers immediately destroy him completely  taran  eilonwy  and fflewdurr manage to escape from the horned kings castle just as it selfdestructs  the witches then reappear and attempt to take the now useless black cauldron away  but fflewdurr stops them  saying that they never give anything away  they bargain  in response to this  the witches offer taran his sword back  but taran instead has a new trade  the cauldron for gurgi  the trade is made  gurgis seemingly lifeless body reappears before the heartbroken group  as taran cradles him in his arms  though  gurgi stirshe is not dead after all  the happy group then returns home  where hen wen  brought home by the fairfolk once the dangers are past   dallben  and even doli  await their triumphant return  as spectacular as it sounds  the black cauldron really suffered a lot in its past times  before ron miller was fired from his position as chairman of walt disney productions  he had bought a novel by lloyd alexander called the black cauldron  a sword and sorcery tale for the studio  bringing this book to the screen was the studios fondest dream  miller  who entitled himself as the executive producer  promised that they would do so after they had proved themselves on other projects  when micheal eisner and his executives arrived at the disney animation studio  the animators were struggling to complete the black cauldron  by this time  things had gone really rocky for the animation department  many of the studios old men had retired or died  therefore  the animators suffered a hard time making this film  originally budgeted at 25 million  the costs raised to 40 million because of constant changes on everything  and when it was finally released on june 24  1985  the black cauldron was greeted by praising reviews from some critics  but somehow the film flopped  the film was rated pg and the film  although disneyfied from lloyd alexanders chronicles of prydain  which is what this film is based on   was much more scarier and darker than disneys other previous efforts  such as the rescuers and the fox and the hound  which is probably why so many people considered it too scary and stayed away from it  in addition  other critics rejected it for having no heart and unmemorable  compared to other disney animated features  but whatever the real reason  the black cauldron was a financial disaster  grossing only 21 million  the failure of the film grounded the studios animation department  and exiled the animation team to annex buildings in nearby glendale  and it seemed like animated features would no longer become a part of the studios reputation  the next two disney animated features  the great mouse detective and oliver and company  although a little more lighthearted than the black cauldron  didnt do much better  although oliver and company grossed much more than the black cauldron and the great mouse detective   only with the little mermaid did the studio regain its reputation for successful animated features  as for the black cauldron  it was rereleased in some cities for a temporary time under the title taran and the magic cauldron  finally  the studio locked the film in the film vault and denied that it ever even was released  because of all this  you might ask yourself  was the black cauldron really such a bad movie  the people who had seen the film didnt think so  in fact  many people had calls to buena vista home video requesting for the film  but of course  they denied it  for a while  it seemed like the black cauldron would never be released to video  until september 1997  disney released the black cauldron to video in the united kingdom  few people imported the video from england and converted to ntsc  including me  and for those who hadnt seen the film yet  i am included here   they got quite a treat  but people who had bootleg copies of the black cauldron noticed that in the scene where the horned king raises his army of deathless warriors  about 12 seconds of ghoulish looking skeletons were slightly trimmed so that the film would get a u rating  in the uk  the u rating means universal  suitable for all ages  kinda like their own version of g   somewhere online  a team of diehard the black cauldron fans signed a petition that said  bring back the black cauldron    and because of that  disney finally decided to release the video to the united states  before that time  rumors online had been made that the video would be trimmed  like the uk video  so that it would get a g rating  and that they would add in songs  those rumors were put to rest when the walt disney company announced that the black cauldron  would  be released in its pg rated version  even still  when it was finally released to the us  some reaction was mixed  some felt that it was indeed cut  but some felt that it wasnt  but these where only minor criticisms which seemed laughable  since a film that was absent for thirteen years was finally available  as for myself  when i saw the movie for the first time  on converted ntsc video   i didnt expect much at all  in fact  i had heard so many mediocre things about it  that i didnt think the film would ever be such a good film  much to my surprise  when i saw the first few minutes of the film  i was asking myself   this is the same film everyone saw  the one that flopped at the box office  the one that critics and filmgoers alike called  a bad movie   this doesnt seem like all of the above  instead  its a classic in its own right  the film has a wonderful cast of characters  theres taran  grant bardsley   an assistant pig keeper who would rather be a warrior than a pigkeeper  the storys hero  the critics have said that taran is not likeable at all  but the opposite is true  he is brave  loyal  and eventually learns a lesson about friendship later on  theres a likeable character here  not that hes the only likeable character in the film  theres gurgi  john biner   a lovable little  uh  thing who remains loyal to taran  even though they dont quite hit it off at first  but another likeable character is the bad guy comic henchman  a dwarf named creeper  phil fondacairo   who is loyal to the films imaginative and sinister villain  the horned king  voiced gruesomely by john hurt   yet he also fears his neck  the other characters  including the sidekicks  a spunky  but sweet princess named eilonwy and the comic bard fflewdurr flamm  and three comically wicked witches who hide a dark secret  although pleasant and likeable  arent quite as well rounded as they should be  the story itself is an adventurous one  a quest involving the mystical pig  hen wen  the black cauldron itself  and an army of deathless ones with everything  a hooking opening to a spectacular finale  elmer bernsteins music also tells the story perfectly  in a dark  yet calming manner  the animation itself is surprisingly good considering that this film was created in the darkest time of the studios  even though there are some occasional effects that are not quite good  like the ground opening when the black cauldron rises out of the earth  the animation overall is top notch  overall  this film is an entertaining endeavor  fans unfamiliar to the lloyd alexander chronicles of prydain will get a kick out of this one  except young kids  there are some extremely scary scenes which are more darker than disneys other films  although some consider the stampede sequence from the lion king and frollo observing esmeralda in the fires of hell in the hunchback of notre dame are just as scary   which is the main reason why this film is rated pg  fans familiar to the lloyd alexander series will recognize the differences between the novel and the movie  even though it doesnt have all of the ingredients of a true disney film  this film is a classic in its own right  and deserves a far better chance than what it has been given  that better chance has finally come  whatever reason about why the black cauldron was such a big failure seems to have disappeared  and the film has finally achieved its place among disneys most proudest achievements  i cant help but think though  whatever would have happened if the black cauldron  was  a box office success  
pos	quiz show  an almost perfectly accurate true story  is based upon the events of the popular television show of the mid50s   twentyone   on this trivial game show  contestants were placed in isolation booths and then answered questions corresponding to a category of their choice  on which they wagered an amount of points on  the game went on until a player reached twenty one points on felt they had earned enough points to win  but  after ratings began to fall when players were struggling to break the zero mark  the producers decided to fix the game by giving the answers to a contestant before the game began  quiz show illustrates the true stories of two particular contestants  herbie stempel and charles van doren  stempel  john turturro   a former g  i  and your jewish man raising a family  stempel has been the reigning champion on  twentyone  for many weeks and has accumulated thousands of dollars  in his mind  he is the best thing on television and the people love him  although  in the mind of the shows producers  herbie stempel is getting old  dan enright  david paymer   in particular  feels that the people are tired of seeing a  jewish guy from queens with bad teeth  and that the kids need someone better to look up to  therefore  they need to find another contestant whom would be a worthy role model and the people will look up to and cheer to win  someone who can defeat stempel  even if they have to resort to cheating  enter charles van doren  ralph fiennes   a welleducated professor from a widely recognized family  van doren had decided to try out for the game show  tic tac dough  because his friends thought he would be good at that sort of thing  but when albert freedman  hank azaria   enrights assistant  spots van doren  the two decide that they have found their soontoberuler of the  twentyone  kingdom  van doren is not too keen on the idea of receiving the answers ahead of time  so enright tells stempel that he is going to give the wrong answer  on purpose  in order to lose the game  after stempel loses the  throne  to van doren  he starts to feel cheated  which he should   meanwhile  on his own  dick goodwin  rob morrow   a harvard law graduate  has decided to start an investigation on  twentyone  to try and find out if there have been any wrongdoings  his investigation yields shocking results and leads to a trial for enright and the others involved  quiz show is an extremely well done movie  and robert redfords direction is especially superb  the performances turned in by john turturro  ralph fiennes  and rob morrow are very good  although it seems that turturro stands out more than any  quiz show is also very precise when it comes to explicating the true events that inspired the film  definitely a film you should not miss  
pos	is jimmy stewart the greatest actor of alltime  its quite possible  his career spanned over 40 years  and he acted in more movies than most actors ever could  yet  when he is talked about in the media  he is generally thought of as an actor who played one type of role  the nice guy  and thats really a shame   the naked spur  features jimmy stewart in a role completely different than what people would expect from him  its a western  which stewart specialized in around this period  and it casts him as a desperate man out to collect a bounty on a man who used to be his friend  before he finds that man  though  he runs into two men who agree to help him  thinking he is a sheriff  when the criminal is eventually caught  the two men discover stewarts secret  and decide they want a piece of the action too  the rest of the film is a suspenseful journey in which each man suspects the other constantly  also featured is the woman travelling with the criminal  well played by janet leigh  were never too sure whos side shes really on until the end  leigh is an actress probably best known for her role as the  shower lady  from  psycho   and thats unfair  she gives a strong performance as a woman who is pulled between these two men  stewart gives a performance unlike anything ive ever seen from him  he usually keeps cool no matter what occurs  but here  he gets downright hysterical at times  i think perhaps he took this role to prove to the public that he was more than just a  nice guy   his performance borders on psychotic at times  but i loved watching every second of it  its roles like this one that make me admire him as much as i do  he was an actor unafraid to take chances  and even ruin his public image  
pos	every once in a while you see a film that is so effective in delivering the goods that it is easy to forget  and forgive  its glaring imperfections  such is the case with  good will hunting   a subtle character study about a socially inept mathematics genius who struggles to find his path in life  despite some serious character problems  this is still a very good film  you probably know about the plot so i  ll make it quick  will hunting  damon  is a janitor at m  i  t   he  s really smarter than einstein but nobody knows it  he likes to go out with his friend chuckie  affleck  and their other workingclass buddies and drink beer  he  s goodlooking  charismatic  and witty but has a terrible time with authority and stiff college folk  after getting into a tiff with the law  a distinguished professor  skarsg  rd  discovers will  s genius and offers him a chance to clean up his record and avoid jail time  at a price  he must attend weekly sessions with a therapist and work on various mathematical problems  that have stumped the academic elite  with the professor  after outsmarting and scaring the hell out of a couple of different psychologists he meets his match when hooked up with a oncepromising therapist named sean maguire  williams  who has his own problems  in the meantime will meets a british medical school student  driver  and they begin to fall in love  the story starts out well enough and is a pretty original basis for a film  even though we  ve seen movies about misunderstood  erratic prodigies before   shine  ring a bell    the script here creates a complex narrative that doesn  t just focus solely on one character  alas though  this is not a perfect film  as much as you feel like it could  ve been while watching it  the one real problem i had with it is the unrealistic nature of the main character  is it possible for a lowly janitor to be this intelligent  of course  is it possible for him to be estranged from any deep  human relationships  usually  yes  but  is it possible for him to also be so handsome  funny  quick with the tongue  and citystreet tough  not very likely  come on  usually these guys are total nerds who can  t even buy their own shirts  much less talk down a harvard student in a hip pub while picking up phone numbers from pretty med  school girls  will is just a little too perfect  and in order to accept the character your disbelief suspension needs to be in excellent working condition  the heavyhanded  antiwar statement made by will at a government job interview late in the film is also boorish  overlong  pompous  and completely unnecessary  all this sounds pretty bad  but the film somehow makes up for it in other ways  damon  s acting overshadows the fact that the character is slightly unbelievable  his performance is truly extraordinary  which leads me to the really good part of the review  the strength of this movie can be summed up in one single word  acting  i can  t recall seeing a film recently that was so wellacted from top to bottom  from minnie driver  s frustrated lover to ben affleck  s laidback best friend  and all the small roles in between  the performances are magnificent  robin williams  skill is a given as a bereaved psychologist who could  ve had a legendary career but was knocked off the path somewhere down the line  the real gem though is stellan skarsg  rd  s turn as professor lambeau  an awardwinning mathematician who feels reduced in comparison to a younger  smarter will hunting  the scenes between williams and skarsg  rd  as two old college pals who  ve been brought back together by this enigmatic kid  display some of the best acting i  ve ever seen  when i say delivering the goods  this is what i  m talking about  watching these two work is what going to see movies is all about  gus van sant  s  to die for  drugstore cowboy  cold  urban direction is right on  as well as danny elfman  s sauntering musical score  i highly recommend  good will hunting   despite its faults  it is still an intriguing and fascinating film and you are not likely to see a better acted one this year  
pos	men in black is an explosive mix of science fiction  action  and comedy that hits the target in every possible way  although another alien movie  men in black succeeds in every way that independence day didnt  and towers above many other movies of its type  the brilliant acting  especially by tommy lee jones as agent kay  is also as good as it gets  director barry sonnenfeld  who was behind the camera for the addams family movies and get shorty  has crafted a masterpiece  the story behind men in black is just as interesting as you would want it to be  the men in black  or mib  are a topsecret governmental agency that is not known to exist  the mib are responsible for  saving the world from the scum of the universe   a though job  indeed  the film opens with a truckload of illegal aliens  the human kind  being transported across the mexico border and into the united states  presumably  these  aliens  are all migrant workers  that is  until the mib show up and begin interrogating them  agent kay selects a particular suspicious worker and takes him away from the other local authorities to discover that he is not an illegal human alien  but a real extraterrestrial alien  when the alien makes a run for it  agent kay is forced to eliminate the alien with one of the mibs very unique weapons  and after one of the local law enforcement officers witnesses this bizarre occurrence  agent kay is forced to use another very unique device on them  the device  described as  out of state   eliminates the memory of anyone it is used on  from here  we are introduced to james edwards  played very well by will smith  edwards  a police officer  is chasing a fleeing criminal  the criminal gives a very good chase  and at one point when edwards confronts him  the criminal pulls out a very different looking weapon that disintegrated when it hit the ground  edwards continues to chase the very athletic criminal to the top of a building  where the criminal informs edwards that he must let him go  because someone is after him  edwards doesnt take this seriously  but when the criminal shows very nonhuman characteristics and leaps off the building  he begins to wonder  back at the police station  agent kay shows up to ask edwards a few questions  he informs edwards that is was  in fact  a nonhuman that he was chasing  and that the gun he pulled out was definitely not manmade  he has edwards identify the gun  and asks edwards to come to the mib headquarters the following day  edwards arrives and finds that he is involved in a recruiting process  along with various other men who seem a bit more qualified than he  after goofing up for half of the time  edwards puts on a show at the firing range  and agent kay notes the reason why he feels edwards should be the man to join the mib  he chased down the  criminal  on foot  which is something that no one is supposed to be able to do  in the meantime  an upstate new york farm has a very close encounter  edgar  vincent donofrio   owner of the farm  investigates a strange crash landing and is attacked by the inhabitant of the flying object  which presumes to jump inside edgar and use his body as a human transport  the  bug   as he is called  is an intergalactic terrorist who has come to earth to attempt to kill two ambassadors  and it up to the mib  with newly recruited agent jay  formerly james edwards  to exterminate the bug and save the planet from intergalactic war  men in black delightfully combines fastpaced action with often hilarious comedy  which is usually from will smith  although tommy lee jones opens up his comedic personality in this film  the special effects are also very well done and are not the entire source of the plot  as in another big alien film from the past summer  screenwriter ed solomon  writer of super mario bros  and the upcoming xmen film  has surely struck gold with this story  all ages will enjoy men in black  it is an extremely fun film that you will want to see again  although it runs a very quick and speedy 96 minutes  the entire film from beginning to end is a nonstop adventure  the ending of the film  which ties up a few loose ends for one of the main characters  is also very well done  a sequel is already being planned  so there is more to look forward to  
pos	ralph fiennes is carving out a nice niche for himself in the genre of period piece romances  for his followup to the academybeloved the english patient  he has once again turned to a love story  this time directed by accomplished australian film maker gillian armstrong  little women   despite some obvious overplotting  oscar and lucinda is a mostly effective and often affecting motion picture that touches our hearts while daring our minds to balk at its implausible coincidences  the film opens in the mid1800s  with parallel storylines in new south wales  australia and devon  england  as the helpful narrative voice of geoffrey rush informs us  lucinda leplastrier  cate blanchett  is a headstrong young woman being raised in the australian outback  meanwhile  half the world away  oscar hopkins  fiennes  has broken with his puritanical father over religious issues  and has gone away to school to study to be an anglican priest  lucinda is fascinated with glass  oscar is obsessed with theology  lucinda is rich  oscar is poor  lucinda is forward and selfassured  oscar is timid and uncertain of himself  yet one characteristic unites these two diverse individuals  the compulsion to gamble  whether its on horses  dogs  cards  or the flip of a coin  and fate has decreed that they will one day meet  that day doesnt occur until 45 minutes into the film  when oscar boards a ship bound for sidney  australia  where he hopes to change his life and minister to anyone in need of his help  another of the passengers is lucinda  who is returning from england where she was shopping for machinery to equip her newlyacquired glassworks factory  at first  their relationship is that of a reverend and a confessor  but it doesnt take long for both of them to recognize a kindred spirit in the other  a friendship is born  and  once they reach australia  it develops into something more potent  but oscar is uncertain of lucindas affection  and feels he must do something to prove himself worthy of her  oscar and lucinda isnt beyond a little manipulation to get the desired emotional response  and there are times when the storyline curves in preposterous directions  on more than one occasion  its apparent that events are occurring specifically to funnel the characters into a position where there is only one possible route  coincidence is a crucial plot device  without it  this movie cant go anywhere  the voiceover narration  never one of my favorite techniques  is too verbose and breaks into the story at undesirable moments   however  without it  the final twist  which i will not reveal  would not be as poignant   yet  despite these quibbles  i enjoyed oscar and lucinda  storyline faults pale in the light of two such finelyrealized characters  thematically  the film is also strong  the unifying motif  that everything in life is a gamble  is successfully delineated  oscar and lucinda dont just wager their money  they bet their hearts  minds  and souls  a card game they engage in shortly after they first meet could easily be considered a form of emotional  strip poker  where defenses are peeled away to reveal their shared  secret passion  oscar does not see gambling as a vice  in fact  he believes that the greatest chance one takes in life is betting ones immortal soul on the truth of a religious faith  ralph fiennes  who normally plays strong  confident men  is very much at home as the fumbling  insecure oscar  the actor brings a variety of nervous tics to the part  all of which subtly add to a vague sense of discomfort whenever oscar is onscreen  as good as fiennes is  however  he is eclipsed by cate blanchett  the actress  who appeared earlier this year as one of the leads in bruce beresfords paradise road  is mesmerizing as lucinda  she gives this liberated woman her flash  and feeds the chemistry between the two lead characters so that it sparkles rather than fizzles  effective support is provided by ciaran hinds  the male lead in jane austens persuasion  as lucindas close friend  tom wilkinson  the full monty  as oscars mentor  and clive russell as a selfserving adventurer  theres a real magic in the way armstrong develops the story  keeping things moving in unexpected directions without lingering too long on any one moment or sequence   in fact  i wish she had devoted a little more time to the luminous middle act  which has oscar and lucinda together   with the skill of a consummate storyteller  she weaves romance  friendship  passion  humor  and tragedy together into a complete package  the characters  with all of their human foibles and neuroses  are wonderfully developed by fiennes and blanchett  so who cares if the storyline is a little ripe and unwieldy  oscar and lucinda still offers abundant pleasures to reward the viewer  
pos	in october of 1962 the united states found itself on the brink of nuclear holocaust when u2 spy plane flyovers of cuba revealed that the soviet union was actively deploying and installing medium range ballistic missiles 90 miles from the us  president john kennedy  bruce greenwood  and his staff must face this major threat to world peace and stop soviet expansionism in director roger donaldsons dramatic recreation of the most dangerous crisis in american history in  thirteen days   one of the highlights to come out of madefortv movies was a 1974 entry called  missiles of october  that also recreated the historic event that almost embroiled the us  ussr and the world in an all out nuclear showdown  that teleplay  starring william devane and martin sheen as john and bobby  showed the political tensions of the period that brought to the fore the danger the world faced in those two weeks in 1962  now  a quarter of a century after the landmark tv movie  director roger donaldson and producer kevin costner team together again  the last time was for the taught spy thriller  no way out   to reenact the events of that most dangerous time in americas and the worlds history  taken from the viewpoint of special assistant to the president kenneth p  odonnell  costner   donaldson and crew recreate that volatile event  once again  as the country is plunged into what could have been total nuclear war  as odonnell gets ready to head to work one october morning  he deals with the usual family crises and problems  meanwhile  a u2 spy plane photo mission over cuba has produced some startling images  medium range nuclear missiles in the first stage of deployment  suddenly  kens routine day switches into crisis mode as the president and his key advisor bobby begin to muster the considerable forces of the us military to face the soviet threat  where  thirteen days  differs most from  missiles of october  is  as expected  in the scope of the project  there is a big difference  budgetwise  between making a television docudrama and one that goes to the big screen  it shows as the makers of  thirteen days  craft a recreation of the cuban missile crisis that encompasses not only the political intrigue within the white house  it also depicts the events that took place as america girds itself for nuclear confrontation  the cast  a true ensemble  is led  surprisingly  by bruce greenwood as jfk and not by kevin costner  costners odonnell represents the family guy thing as the drama of the crisis has its impact on him and his family  this puts a personal spin on the film as we see both the crisis and americas preparation for war and the pressure it brings to bear on those in the know  kenny reassures his wife and kids that all will be okay and they will be safe  but he knows that  if the crisis comes to a head  his family will be no more  the meat of  thirteen days  is in the big picture  not the microcosm of family  though  this is where the film stands out as we see the workings of our government on the highest levels  the story does not just cover the faceoff between the worlds two most powerful countries  it also depicts the animosity between the president and the militarycia  the disaster of the bay of pigs invasion the year before left a distrustful taste in the mouths of the generals and admirals who blame the kennedys for not backing the cuban expatriates fighting fidel castro  the missile crisis becomes a struggle for power as the armynavyair force want to flex their might and invade cuba  while jfk wants to end the confrontation peaceably but with americas dignity and world leadership intact  while the internal battle for power rages in the white house  with air force chief curtis lemay  kevin conway  advising the president to bomb cuba into the stone age  our armed forces are set into motion to stop the soviets with a blockade of offensive weapons to cuba  this is where the political intrigues of high office are replaced by exciting action  when the first confrontation takes place between a us warship and a soviet freighter  the tension is palpable  the most involving action sequence takes place late in the game as another u2 is sent up to shoot some snaps of the buildup and the fully prepared soviet forces launch an antiaircraft attack on the hapless pilot of the spy plane  this is a sweaty palm sequence to say the least  making you squirm in your seat as you try to help the pilot avoid those missiles  the ensemble cast places greenwood as the first among equals with like weight given to all the principle players  greenwood does not play act at being a caricature of jfk  foregoing the typical kennedy boston accent  instead  he plays the man as a powerful figure who has to maintain the dignity of the office  directing his subordinates but giving them the latitude to make clear all of his options  kennedy used this decision by committee method to good effect as his senior staff uncovers all the options available to the president  costner  as ken odonnell  is really a supporting cast member as a kennedy crony brought on board as a personal political favor  costner plays odonnell as if he crammed on old jfk speeches with a forced kennedyesque twang to his speech  the rest of the players are first rate from start to finish with steven culp looking and sounding just like robert kennedy  the rest of the familiar players in this drama are uniformly well cast  too  standing out are michael fairman as the beleaguered us ambassador to the un  adlai stevenson  who was forced to become the challenging voice of the united states in the united nations and i remember the confrontation vividly  the filmmakers capture the accusations laid down by stevenson with accuracy  using old style video footage to good effect  dylan baker has the look and feel of the intelligentsia as the brainy secretary of defense robert mcnamara  kevin conway gives his general lemay the right  bomb them to hell  attitude  also notable is christopher lawford as navy pilot william ecker who  with his wingman  takes on the dangerous mission of a lowlevel photo recon into the heart of cuba  bravely challenging kenny odonnells admonition   don get shot   tech credits are superb across the board with an admirable depiction of the us armed forces being placed on a war footing  its an impressive production with the careful use of period aircraft and ships that gives the film a veracity fitting the event  solid costuming by isis mussenden is subtle but has the look of the kennedys  there is the usual array of vintage cars from the period to make things look right  the special fx of the u2 sequences are a nice crafting of computer imaging  the cuban missile crisis is probably the most intense two weeks that the united states has ever faced in its survival as a world leader  helmer donaldson and his fine crew and cast have given the depiction of this crucial event with the care and attention to details that make this one of the finest docudramas of the year  i give  thirteen days  an a  
pos	true faith and its expression through organized religion is a difficult subject for a motion picture to tackle headon  which is probably why so few of them do it  even the most religious directors  like martin scorsese or ingmar bergman  usually address issues of faith in implicit rather than explicit religious terms  so its not hard to see why it took robert duvall fifteen years to get  the apostle  onto the bigscreen  as a matter of fact  even after fifteen years he still never managed to get financial backing  and he ended up paying for it with 5 million of his own money  he also wrote the script  directed the film  and starred as the central character  a fiery texas preacher named euliss  sonny  dewey  few filmmakers have the courage and sheer audacity to take on that kind of financial  technical  and creative responsibility singlehandedly  and its testament to what an intensely personal project this was for duvall  and  thankfully  every bit of that personal investment translates onscreen into power and honest emotion  sonny is an energetic  pentecostal preacher who has been speaking  actually shouting  from behind the pulpit since he was twelve  he spends much of his time traveling about the country  evangelizing with other preachers at tent revivals  unlike most hollywood characterizations of intense preachers  sonny is not a phony or a swindler  and the films purpose is not to unearth hypocrisy and sin in either sonny or the church  duvall makes it abundantly clear that sonny truly believes in what he says  although like all humans  he has weaknesses  one of his weaknesses become apparent when he finds out that  not only does his longsuffering wife  jessie  farrah fawcett   want to leave him for another man in the congregation  but the two of them have secretly plotted to remove him as preacher  faced with the loss of two things he loves passionately his church and his family  that same raw power that allows sonny to get entire congregations rocking and swaying transforms into a violent temper  at his sons baseball game  sonny snaps and smashes his wifes lover in the face with a baseball bat  inflicting a wound that may be fatal  not knowing what else to do  sonny disappears  he throws away his identification  drives his car into a lake  and takes a bus to louisiana  hoping to start over again  in the tiny  mostly poor coastal town of bayou boutte  sonny once again finds his calling  after befriending a simple auto mechanic  walt goggins  and tracking down the towns exminister  john beasley   sonny sets up his own church  the one way to heaven temple  rechristening himself as  the apostle e  f    he quickly draws together an eager congregation  and together they realize real change in each others lives  but  always  sonnys past is lurking a step behind him  waiting to swallow his progress  duvall has made his intentions in making  the apostle  clear  in a recent article in  newsweek   he wrote   filmmakers hardly ever depict spirituality with such a strong emphasis on the holy spirit  and when they do  it tends to be patronizing  full of charlatans and snake handlers    but what i really wanted to do was try to understand what these preachers go through and what they believe  and to portray it in an accurate way   the strength of duvalls convictions turn out to be the strength of his film   the apostle  always rings true  even in the most painful moments  because we know hes being sincere with the subject matter  after fifteen years of traveling the country  listening to all shapes and sizes of ministers and taking studious notes on what they said  duvall has captured the energy and vitality of what it means to be truly spiritual  his sonny is a man who speaks directly to god and expects to be spoken right back to   ive always called you jesus and youve always called me sonny   he says  when neighbors call and complain that he is being too loud one night in one his rants with the man upstairs  sonnys mother  june carter cash  just hangs up on them because she knows theres no sense trying to interrupt him  the main theme to emerge from  the apostle  is the fact that good can come from any situation  sonnys act of violence toward another human being is inarguably a horrific thing  and duvall never shrinks from that fact  however  that very same act of violence is what brings sonny to bayou boutte  where he finds people whom he desperately needs and who desperately need him  in his short time in louisiana  he does a world of good  and when the police finally show up to take him away  he goes quietly  knowing that he deserves the punishment that is awaiting him  and  as a scene during the final credits shows  he even turns his punishment into a positive opportunity for change and betterment  it is that strength in sonnys character that makes him so appealing and magnetic to others  he is flawed  but he is powerful enough to overcome those flaws  weak men are the ones who simply accept their weaknesses and lack the desire to better themselves  watching duvall onscreen  its not hard to imagine that he would have been a magnificent preacher if he had chosen that vocation over acting  as sonny  he completely inhabits the character  and his performance is certainly the best of the year  because he spent so much time absorbing the traits  methods  quirks  and personalities of real preachers  duvall was able to create a complete character who always feels indelibly human  as a director  duvall feels that less is more  his camera simply takes in what goes on in front of it  with very little intrusion  there are no fancy crane shots or extended dollies or excessive closeups  duvall knew that the power of the films characters  enhanced by the fact that he cast mostly nonprofessional churchgoers and actual ministers  didnt need to be artificially enhanced  in this way   the apostle  almost plays out like a documentary  not only in its technical simplicity  but more importantly  in its sense of reality  
pos	when a someone journeys to the theater to see a comedy  he always risks having to sit through inanity such as what we recently saw in films like edtv and office space  it really is too bad that comedies are so hit andmiss  because when a moviegoer goes in a theater expecting to be amused  it really is a shame when the alleged comedy fails to deliver  but weep not  dear readers  because the latest comedy out of the hollywood movie mill is nothing less than a sure bet  austin powers  the spy who shagged me is one of the funniest things ive had the pleasure to see in a long time  a completely looney  delightful parody of the often pretentious james bond flicks  if all comedies  or even half  or   what am i saying   even a fifth of them  could be this consistently hysterical  i would take up residence at my local multiplex  even more to this movies credit is the fact that it is a sequel to the 1997 sleepercult hit austin powers  international man of mystery  the original came out of nowhere  it was a lowbudget  eccentric movie that many expected to flop like a leslie nielsen parody  all of a sudden it was being quoted by teenagers all over america  ironically  powers  yeeeeah baby  yeah   has almost become an icon of the late 90s  thus another installment was inevitable  but its also undoubtedly welcome  the spy who shagged me is one of the most unrestrained  over thetop comedies i have ever seen in my entire life  it brings back most of the characters from its predecessor  even if only briefly  and adds new ones  austin powers  mike myers   a swinging hipster from the 60s transported into the 90s has to go back to his own time to get back his mojo  oh  youll figure it out   which dr  evil  meyers again  has stolen  he enlists the help of a gorgeous secret agent felicity shagwell  now that his prior sidekick vanessa has been properly disposed of in a hilarious opening sequence   played without much distinguishable gusto by heather graham and together they go back to the 60s to defeat dr  evil yet again  surprisingly  the real star is dr  evil rather than austin  he gets most of the screen time because he was so popular in the first movie  perhaps this is true because he is portrayed and written so affectionately  instead of being the scheming  villainous mad scientist we might expect from a character like this he is a bumbling  often sweet mad scientist wannabe  the spy who shagged me has much of the same stuff we saw in the original  but thats okay by me because the original left us wanting more  by the time that one was over we havent had nearly our share of shag jokes  crude puns and powers antics and this sequel satisfies our appetites  even by its conclusions  im still not sure ive had my fill of bits like  do you smoke after sex    i dont know  baby  i never looked   this may seem awfully immature of me  but understand that the austin powers series  unlike most of the crap hollywood feeds us these days  is genuinely funny  i dont know if ive ever laughed harder at any movie than i did during the jerry springer send up or the indubitably hilarious  just the two of us  rendition by dr  evil and his new miniature clone named  minime   i dont have any pretensions that this is particularly smart social satire or anything of the sort  indeed there is little beyond the joy a viewer feels when he sees something that is able to entertain him as much as this movie did  but as far as im concerned  that is enough   1999 eugene novikov 137  
pos	almost a full decade before steven spielbergs saving private ryan asked whether a film could be both  anti war  and  prosoldier   john irvins hamburger hill proved it could  lost in the inundation of critical acclaim that greeted oliver stones platoon  this excellent film was dismissed as  too militaristic   its hard to understand exactly whyunless irvin  in assembling his motley collection of young men who for predictable  and often naive  reasons  chose to show up  for the vietnam debacle  has refused to present us with the stone killer  drugstoked psycho and ruthless opportunist who have become to vietnam war epics what  the polack  the hillbilly and the kid from brooklyn  became to wwii movies  hamburger hill  based on a true story  is not an easy film to watch  there is a scene that will have graying antiwar activists squirming in their seats  or moved to genuine tears  and the climactic final assault on the  hill  in question is visually confusing  gristly realities are presented in brief flashes  as if the brain dared not acknowledged what it had encountered  and in the mud and smoke officer and enlistee  veteran and  newbie   black soldier and white  become almost indistinguishable from each other  as they do in the chaos of actual combat  the acting throughout is solid with an absolutely stellar performance rendered by courtney b  vance as docin a role that will have many flatly disbelieving that this is same actor they cheered as  seaman jones  in mctiernans red october  if youve seen private ryan  you owe it to yourself to see hamburger hillif only to determine that the all the valour and horror of spielbergs vision was as present in the ashau valley as it was at omaha beach  
pos	in these days of overlong movies  meet joe black  the thin red line  the mask of zorro  it is a shame that films like waking ned devine cant be longer than a paltry 90 minutes  this is just a cute movie  even through its mildly risque subject matter  old friends jackie  bannen  and michael  kelley  try to find the lottery winner  they deduce must live in their dinky town of about 60  so that they might kiss up to him and share the winnings  through process of elimination  they find that it must be lovable old ned devine  who they find sitting in front of his tv  clutching the winning lottery ticket in his cold dead hand  what results is thuroughly amusing  as jackie tries to convince his wife that not claiming it would be wrong  and that they could really benefit  after all  old ned wont miss it  rather than divulge the later twists and turns  ill stop here merely pointing out that jackie and michael get into all sorts of trouble in their little sleepy irish villiage  bannen and kelly are a perfect pair  one slightly stout  the other as thin as a rail  both getting on in years  they make such a cute pair of old codgers  waking ned devine may even be seen as a  full monty  for the geriatric set  especially since kelly gets buffo for one amusing scene  waking ned devine is by no means perfect  but it is so sincere and touching that it looks so much better than most films  the performances by everyone in the town are great  particularly the two leads  there is one twist at the end which i find unnecessary  but it hardly ruins the picture  writerdirector kirk jones should be held up as an example to all those hollywood screenwriters  scripts as creative and endearing as this should be the norm  not the exception  perhaps it makes us appreciate this wonderful film even more  had i held off on my years bestworst list for another day  waking ned devine  officially released in late november of 98  surely would have graced the short group of the years finest films  it is light  but thought provoking and sweet  i cant think of anyone who shouldnt see  or wouldnt enjoy  this film  
pos	dark city is such a rare treat  it  s a stunning  hyperkinetic vision of a place where our reality is fused with noir  science fiction and the darkest nights in manhattan and london  to boot  it is accompanied by an intense  well written and thoughtful story  movies of this caliber and idea aren  t made too often  and it  s unfortunate that i waited this long to see it  alex proyas  who  s previous film the crow looked good but couldn  t cover up the terrible acting or story  here shows a near masterpiece  a combination of metropolis  edward hopper and phillip marlowe  fused seemlessly  at times it moves beyond film into artwork  it is the story of  strangers   aliens from another planet  and we know they  re aliens because they shave their heads and wear overcoats  one of the detractions of the film  who experiment on humans to discover what makes them live  what makes up our  soul   these aliens are superior to humans because they have mastered the  ultimate technology  of shaping matter with their mind  called  tuning  they are aided by a human scientist  played by kiefer sutherland  who has  betrayed his kind  and at the start of the film watches as the entire city stops at exactly midnight  during this time  john murdoch  played swiftly by rufus sewell  wakes in a bathtub in a room with a swinging overhead light  a terrific visual effect  not only is murdoch confused  but so is the audience   without a memory and a strange guilt that he may be a killer  he receives a phone call to flee  as the strangers are after him  i don  t want to proceed to much further with the explanation of the story  one of the pleasures of the film is watching it develop  in a way regaining murdoch  s  identity  along with him  it  s a pleasure to watch the characters develop through the cinematography  murdoch  s wife  anna  is introduced through a stunning beam of light  she is a lounge singer who sings into a bright spotlight  shadows  outlines of men in hats watch  as she gently curves through the shine  we see the outline of her body from behind  an hourglass  as she sings a slow  rhythmic song  a great entrance  however  a film such as this is only successful if the morals and themes behind it are strong enough to leave the viewer satisfied  the city is nice to look at  but if it  s a poor story then it  s not worth watching  blade runner was popular not only because it  s visuals  but it  s story and themes were thought out and provoked strong response from the audience  it is discussed it and argued  therefore a success  other science fiction films of recent times  such as the fifth element  are nice to look at  but are dropped and forgotten because the cookie cutter moral behind them is so flimsy  we  re left with  love conquers all  after finishing the fifth element  dark city is not so easily explained away  as the strangers discovered  locating the human soul and discovering what makes us survive is not such an easy task  where is reality  dark city is certainly the best science fiction film of the 90  s  and ranks along with the best made in the 80s  such as blade runner and the two aliens films  perhaps it  s the best of the both decades  it had the darkness of the aliens films  as well as the visuals and compelling story of blade runner  but moved beyond  i think  because the themes behind it were much stronger  anyone who wants to make an argument for better science fiction films please feel free to write  i  d love to hear it  
pos	anyone who saw alan rickmans finelyrealized performances in truly madly deeply and sense and sensibility will be unsurprised that the actorturneddirector is a bit of a poet at heart  however  for those who recall him only as the maniacal villain of die hard and robin hood  prince of thieves  this recognition may be something of a shock  nevertheless   poetic  is an excellent term to describe rickmans feature debut as a director  the winter guest  the film has a simple  unhurried rhythm that uses all of the available elements to fashion a successful whole  the result is an occasionally haunting  sometimes magical  and always insightful human drama  the winter guest isnt about resolving plot threads and advancing a story line  its about exploring relationships and examining life in all of its stages  the winter guest does not tell a traditional tale  nor does it ascribe to a conventional narrative structure  there is no real beginning or end  instead  we are given an opportunity to observe one day in the lives of eight humans  they represent both sexes  multiple generations  and a variety of relationships  male and female  young  middleaged  and elderly  friends  wouldbe lovers  and kin  we see expectations fulfilled and disappointed  emotional boundaries eroded  and truths unveiled  there is comedy and tragedy  most importantly  much of what transpires during the course of the winter guest will find an echo in our own lives  in this fiction can be found much truth  the setting is small town in scotland on the coldest day of the year  its so frigid that the sea has begun to freeze over  the onshore wind cuts like a knife and snow blankets the beach  giving the terrain an alien appearance  it is against this backdrop that the relationships of the film are captured  there are four pairings  and  although there is some interaction between the different twosomes  the winter guests focus is on the dynamics internal to each relationship  the first  meatiest pairing is that of elspeth  phylida law  and her recentlywidowed daughter  frances  emma thompson   these two have a stormy relationship  they love each other deeply  but both are stubborn and willful  and neither is willing to admit that they need the other  much of their interaction is argumentative  but  during the course of a long walk to the frozen shoreline  they come to an unspoken understanding of how much each means to the other  frances adult son  alex  gary hollywood   is a lonely young man who has been caring for his mother since the death of his father  on this day  he meets a girl  nita  arlene cockburn   who has secretly been spying on him for weeks  although their first encounter is antagonistic  she throws a snowball at him   both quickly become aware of an undeniable attraction  once they retire to a place where they can be alone  however  things dont go exactly as planned  lily  sheila reid  and chloe  sandra voe  are a couple of old friends who are frequent funeral attendees  death is a topic of endless fascination for them  perhaps because they are so close to it  and they spend their spare time scanning the obituaries  looking for the next funeral or cremation in the area  it doesnt matter whether or not they knew the deceased  its the ceremony that theyre interested in  sam  douglas murphy  and tom  sean biggerstaff   a pair of schoolboy chums  are spending this cold february day cutting classes and hanging out at the beach  horsing around  building a small fire for warmth  and walking on the frozen water  unlike lily and chloe  these two have their entire lives ahead of them  they are young enough to still believe in magic  but old enough to recognize that the process of crossing into adulthood robs life of the simple joy that only children can experience  the acting is strong and believable  the mixture of veteran performers and firsttimers is effective  with the most successful choice being the casting of reallife mother and daughter phylida law and emma thompson in the most prominent roles  there is a chemistry in their interaction that would be hard to replicate with two different  nonrelated actors  and  of course  the physical resemblance makes it that much easier to accept elspeth and frances as parent and child  the winter guest began its life as a stage play in 1995  with rickman as the director  four of the films principals  phylida law  arlene cockburn  sheila reid  and sandra voe  appeared in the theatrical version before moving to the film  unlike several recent motion pictures adapted from plays  the winter guest has been successfully opened up  the rough  bleak scottish countryside becomes as much of a character as any of the eight humans  in fact  considering how important the climate is to every relationship under rickmans microscope  it could be argued that this is the single most important element of the movie  if you appreciate character studies  the winter guest is a solid effort with enough power to stay with you after you have left the theater  
pos	i want to correct what i wrote last year in my retrospective of david leans war picture  i still think that  the bridge on the river kwai  doesnt deserve being the number 13 in the american film institutes list of the 100 greatest american movies  and i think that  12 angry men    witness for the prosecution  and  paths of glory  would have been better choices for the oscar for the best picture of 1957  but i cant deny the importance of  the bridge on the river kwai   cinematically and in its contents  the film is set in burma in 1943  a batallion of british soldiers in japanese war captivity is forced by the japanese to build a strategically momentous railway bridge over the river kwai  but the british commanding officer  colonel nicholson  alec guinness   insists  corresponding to the geneva conventions  that his officers neednt work as simple workmen  struggling toughly  col  nicholson forces the japanese commandant  col  saito  sessue hayakawa   to give way in this respect  afterwards col  nicholson assiduously commits himself for the building of the bridge  he considers it an opportunity to raise his mens morale  and he wants to prove superior british capabilities to the japanese  but the british high command sends a few soldiers who shall destroy the bridge  among them the american shears  william holden   an escapee from the japanese prison camp  and the british major warden  jack hawkins     a flaw of the picture is the clich  d characterization of the japanese people  they are presented as if they were intellectually inferior to the british  as if the japanese were incapable of building a bridge  and the film doesnt consistently question the military spirit as kubrick does in  paths of glory   lean seems rather fascinated by the military hierarchies  this is also perceptible in the conversations between col  nicholson and col  saito  in this regard it is symptomatic that shears  who doubts the military logic  is presented as a somehow unpleasant person  the audience is supposed to applaud col  nicholsons perseverance concerning the question if his officers shall work on the bridge or not  the spectators are supposed to neglect the risks col  nicholson takes for his men   the plot bypasses these risks   that means  the picture isnt perfect  but it has a lot of virtues as well   the bridge on the river kwai  shows the  madness  of war and what it can produce in peoples minds  it shows how colonel nicholson becomes possessed by the idea of being a hero and that others  like shears  get cynics  and leans film is an interesting study of characters with clashing interests  these points and the sometimes ironic dialogue make this film an antiwar film  despite inconsistencies in the treatment of this theme   david leans direction is really effective and atmospherically perfect  his film is highly suspenseful  especially in its dramatic  if not wholly plausible  showdown  the film is also wellphotographed and has an apt score  alec guinness does a magnificent job of bringing col  nicholson to life and making him such an interesting character  the other actors deliver fine performances as well  i like this extraordinary film despite its weaknesses   c  karl rackwitz  klein k  ris  germany  1999  
pos	recently i read 4 reviews of pleasantvilleone from entertainment weekly  one from a newsgroup  and two from different online resources  each review compared this film to the truman show  why  the only reason people compared pleasantville to truman is due to the fact that their lives are on television  other than that  the two movies are completely different from each other  reviewers seem to love to pick one movie  i  e  the truman show   obsess over it  and make it a guideline for other movies  when pleasantville and edtv opened  all critics seemed to treat the two films like they were subjects of king truman  the same goes for the thin red line  as well  when it opened in decemeber  probably 98 of reviews compared it to stephen spielbergs saving private ryan  giving thin line no chance whatsoever  critics loved private ryan so much  that they automatically decided no movie is good enough to reach its standards  this is why i think pleasantville was underrated  if the truman show had never been made  pleasantville probably would have received better reviews  done better at the box office  and would be remembered after its long been on the video store shelves  sure  it wasnt perfect  and it wasnt very believeable  but neither was the wizard of oz or star wars  and there stands two of the most prominent movies in history  with the exception of don knotts as the annoying  tv repairman  the film is cast perfectly  the ice storms tobey maguire is david in real life  he watches the old 50s sitcom  pleasantville  to escape from his feuding parents  his twin sister  jen  reese witherspoon  is a popular slut who  steriotypically  smokes and wears revealing clothes  but what makes her character believeable is the dialoguethose excessive 90s terms such as  like    whatever   and  cool  make her sound like the total dimwit shes supposed to be  the twins  with a little help from a tv repairman  casting don knotts in this role was obviously a cameoesque cast rather than a true acting one   are sucked into pleasantville by a magical new remote  their new parents  played by william h  macy and joan allen  are perfect in every way  their new names are bud and mary sue  and right away they start to corrupt the town of pleasantville  after the siblings fit comfortably in their new roles  the movie begins to take form  its just like watching a sitcom in itself  you dont want it to end   mary sue  has sex with her date  the school basketball champion  when he tells all his friends about it  they stop preforming perfectly at basketball  and things start to take color  soon we learn that these people dont know how to express true emotions  and when they learn to do so  they eventually turn into color  this eventually sparks a racial war between the  coloreds  and the  black  whites   entertainment weekly reviewer lisa schwarzbaum claims the movie has   none of the depth  poignance  and brilliance of the truman show     yes  the truman show was maybe a little more intelligent  but the racial settingintensified by the forcing of the coloreds to sit in the upper box of the courtroomcertainly classifies as deep  considering its what i least expected  gary ross did not try to create an intelligent  award masterpiecehe just tries to convey moral messages within his work  take for example big and dave  his past films  bigbe careful what you wish for  davegood or bad lying is still lying  did these movies win big awards  no  but they won the heart of millions  pleasantville could have done that too  if it wasnt for snotty reviewers who set precedents with preceeding films  pleasantville  a ad2am  i almost lost my nose    and i like it  i like breathing through it   jack nicholson  chinatown 
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  the teaser trailers for my best friends wedding scarsely gave reason for hope  it looked like the sort of goofy  lighthearted comedy than might put julia roberts back in the limelight  but little more  id frankly rarely seen a trailer place such an emphasis on people falling over for laughs so often  it was then to both my surprise and my delight to find that my best friends wedding was such a success  a strong  bouyant romanticcomedy with some decidedly unconventionally quirky comic aspects  featuring a triumphant performance from ms  roberts  the heroine of my best friends wedding is julianne potter  julia roberts   a successful new york restaurant critic  and we open the film with a whimsical revelation to her editor george downes  rupert everett  that years ago  she had made a pact with her dear best friend and exlover michael oneal  dermot mulroney   a sports writer  that if they both hadnt married by the time they reached 28  they had promised to marry each other  both julianne and michael are both single  of course  and when george inquires about michaels age  julianne realizes that hes mere weeks away from his 28th birthday  and is quite distressed when she receives a phone call from michael later that day  however  she finds herself even more distraught when michaels call is in regards to his impending marriage to heiress kimmy wallace  cameron diaz   and when he asks julianne to fly down to chicago for the wedding  julianne suddenly realizes that she loves michael  and resolves to break up the wedding and steal the groom by any means necessary  the setup for my best friends wedding  then  is a fairly conventional one  and in many ways the films storyline is formulaic  but only to a certain extent  the film was directed by p  j  hogan  whose first feature  muriels wedding  had quite an offbeat tone for a traditional uplifting uglyduckling story  and the same holds true for my best friends wedding  which confidently combines traditional romanticcomedy elements with a really eccentric sense of humour  the film is innundated with sly mischievousness which seems clearly the influence of mr  hogan  for example  theres a heartfelt  emotional exchange between julianne and michael late in the film  with a trio of teenagers  inhaling helium and sounding every bit like alvin and the chipmunks  harmonizing in the background  my best friends wedding opens with an inspired opening credit sequence which sets the tone for the film  and there are scenes where actors spontaneously burst into song to good comic effect  it could almost be argued that this film is nearly as much of a musical as woody allens everyone says i love you  id even assert its a more successful one  my best friends wedding keeps breaking conventionality with its characters as well  in a typical romanticcomedy  kimmy would be portrayed as a snooty  conniving ice queen  and the audience would be cheering for julianne to rescue michael from her grasps  this film is smarter than that  here  kimmy is sweet  sincere  and innocent  julianne even admits at one point that had she not resolved to utterly destroy kimmys life  shed actually like her too  the george character is almost a staple of recent film  the homosexual male friend of the heroine who acts as a confidant and provides the guiding voice of reason  but in my best friends wedding  he gets to have a playful  mischievous and charming personality  throughout the film  the formulaisms one often sees is romanticcomedy are given little twists  and the result is a film which is compelling all the way to its somewhat unorthodox conclusion  there is a lot of smart writing in the wellpaced screenplay by ronald bass  were given four interesting  vivid  and likeable characters  with some good dialogue and some genuinely charming and touching moments  my best friends wedding marks a strong career rebound for julia roberts  who turns in a topnotch  confident and reassured performance as julianne  this isnt the sort of role one usually associates with ms  roberts  the julianne characters neurotic  fumbling characteristics are more in line with a meg ryan role  but ms  roberts works wonderfully in the film and demonstrates her aptitude at comedy here  remaining compelling and empathetic to the audience  if not entirely sympathetic  even when her deeds done to destroy the wedding plans of her best friend are less than honourable  even better than ms  roberts though is cameron diaz  who turns in a shining performance in my best friends weddding  with a smile which lights up the screen  she effectively conveys kimmys insecurity and utter sweetness in an endearing manner  and never hits a false note in the film  she even sings  i wont soon forget her charming serenade of  i just dont know what to do with myself   rupert everett is given a very juicy role as george  and he makes the most of it with a hilarious turn which makes his character perhaps the most vivid and most memorable in the film  his george is a bit of a devilish rogue  entirely affable  and mr  everetts performance is a delight to watch  hes clearly having fun  and his joy is infectuous  dermot mulroney is adequate in a thankless role  unlike the other characters in the film  hes not given a lot to do  but there is a genuine onscreen chemistry between ms  roberts and mr  mulroney  and consequently the longstanding friendship between his michael character and the julianne character always seemed completely authentic  when julia roberts lustre began to fade  and she was usurped from her title as  americas sweetheart  by sandra bullock  i thought it was a canny career move on her part to take supporting roles in prestige projects like michael collins and everyone says i love you to raise her profile  while that didnt quite work out  its nearcertain that her successful return to the genre which made her a big star back in 1990  the romanticcomedy  will once again raise her ante in the hollywood game  my best friends wedding marks a return to form for ms  roberts  and cements p  j  hogans reputation as a skilled director of comedy  
pos	robocop is an intelligent science fiction thriller and social satire  one with class and style  the film  set in old detroit in the year 1991  stars peter weller as murphy  a lieutenant on the citys police force  1991s detroit suffers from rampant crime and a police department run by a private contractor  security concepts inc   whose employees  the cops  are threatening to strike  to make matters worse  a savage group of copkillers has been terrorizing the city  on murphys first day of duty  after his transfer from another precinct  these copkillers brutally murder him by shooting off his limbs one by one   orion pictures had to edit this extremely graphic scene in order to get an r rating from the m  p  a  a   after the emergency room staff at the hospital cannot save murphy and declare him clinically dead  s  c  i  recruits his remains for their new  robocop  program  using the remains of murphys body as a foundation  their scientists build a cyborg  made of both flesh and metal  the cyborg  robocop  is half human  murphy  and half robot  the s  c  i  engineers have erased murphys memory and replaced it with a computer program  or so they think   with his lightning quick reflexes  immense strength  and impenetrable armor  s  c  i  envisions robocop as an indestructible supercop  the solution to detroits problems  the remainder of the plot follows robocops crimefoiling and vengeance on his murderers  as a science fiction actionthriller  robocop is extremely effective  dutch director paul verhoeven combines gritty action with suspense  shocking gore  and spectacular special effects  several sequences in the film  such as the one in which robocop employs his extremely precise aim to stop a rapist  are destined to become cultclassics  because robocop is so visually and emotionally rousing  it demands to be seen on a large screen with an audiencein other words  in a movie theater  although the special effects and action are exciting  they do not by themselves set robocop apart from other films in the genre  rather  robocop stands out for its accurate and biting satire of american society  the movie makes a mockery of the star wars defense initiative  terrorism  board games  and television news broadcasts with airheaded anchors  these news broadcasts  which are exceptionally clever  recur periodically throughout the movie and help to provide comic relief from the intense action and gore  the satire in robocop  however  is almost as frightening in its own way as the suspense and blood  1990s america  as portrayed in the film  may seem far fetched but is in actuality  i think  only a slight exaggeration of the current state of american society  the humorous satire in robocop is simultaneously credible and absurd  verhoeven adroitly balances the satirical comedy with the gory action to create an entertaining and enlightening piece of science fictionsocial commentary  unfortunately  robocop possesses several flaws which prevent it from qualifying as a classic within the genre  the movie lacks the lasting impact of such films as the road warrior  the terminator  and aliens  robocops main problem  aside from its dumb title  is that it does not sufficiently develop murphys character  we never learn the degree to which murphy  as robocop  is human and the degree to which he is a robot  does murphy have any human spirit or free will left  or is he merely a computer following a program  the script halfheartedly raises these issues but then abandons them in its climactic flurry of gory action  moreover  it almost completely ignores the question  and tragedy  of denying a man his right to die in favor of turning him into a machine  robocop also contains several bothersome looseends  as you watch robocop  you experience deja vu  you feel as if you have seen the film before  in many respects  robocop is reminiscent of several other films  including the terminator  return of the jedi  and even death wish  however  to its credit  robocop easily has enough originality and unique personality to avoid becoming a cheap ripoff  
pos	probably the most popular and praised film of all time  turned out to be a primitive and predictable costume drama with a dose of social criticism  everyone knows about the greatest and most famous shipping disaster of all time  and the actual catastrophe is masterfully crafted by director james cameron  combining visual and sound effects  he recreates the frightening atmosphere of the sinking ship in the middle of nowhere  i liked very much the emotional and brutal contrast between the first and the third classes  while their cabin is slowly filling up with water  a mother is telling her children a fairytail     and they lived happily ever after     and then the ship goes down and the few survivors are left alone under the stars and the chilling air  however  the actual disaster is happening almost at the end of the movie  while the first two hours are just beautiful sets and bad dialogues  in the present day  the rms titanic is explored by brock lovett  bill paxton   a treasure seeker looking for the coeur de la mer diamond  lost during the sinking  somewhere inside the ship  lovetts crew discover a sketchbook of an artist long dead  here  in the shape of a nude young lady  is a window into the distant age of 1912  lovett is extremely surprised when he gets a phone call from rose dawson  claiming that she is a model  she is immediately helicoptered onto the vessel  and she gets the first glimpse of the fated ship in 80 years  as the memories come flooding back  she once again becomes rose dewitt buketer  kate winslet   the fianc  e of wealthy cal hockley  billy zane  and daughter of ruth dewitt bukater  frances fisher   on board there are rich and poor  everyone trust in the ships designer  jonathan hyde  and her master  captain e  j  smith  bernard hill   on board the ship  rose  unhappy and restless meets jack  leonardo dicaprio   a young american artist  poor  brave and attractive  a love story slowly emerges and the two lovers must not only experience the difference between the social classes  but also face the greatest power on earth  death  cameron could as well have called his picture  the never ending love  or  love at first sight   as he concentrates all his energy on the young couple  and not on the disaster itself  the plot is anything but original and the dialogues sometimes resemble a television soapopera  the director doesnt even try to overcome his empty script  because of its primitive and predictable plot  titanic is totally depending on the visuals that truly are breathtaking  russel carpenters rich  majestic and incredibly detailed cinematography is certainly awardworthy  everything from art direction to visual and sound effects are a top notch  but it doesnt help much when the costumes are more convincing than the actors who wear them  the actors are not to blame  because their characters are more like caricatures  in other words  fake  jack is a man with many talents  he is a talented artist  handsome  brave  honest  strong  funny    you name it  he doesnt have any dark side  he doesnt make any mistakes  that for a second would make him human  jack is perfect  but he is  poor  on the other hand we have cal  he is a bastard that treats rose as an odalisque and not as his wifetobe  he lacks everything jack possesses  but he is  rich  this childish contrast between the social classes is one of those things that makes titanic nothing more than a mediocre picture  cameron knows precisely what we want to see  his film therefore contains certain minimums to draw an audience  attractive actors  a  tragic love story   beautiful visuals  including expensive special effects   a dose of social criticism  a fascinating historical event  we love true stories  and last  but not least  an incredible media support  which proclaimed an average picture the  greatest film of all time   on the outside titanic looks perfect  but behind that sparkling curtain of incredible visuals  is emptiness  nothing to think about  the main weakness of this film  which ironically became its success  is simplicity  cameron enables our basic and if you wish  primitive emotions  love  hate  fear and helplessness  everyone understands the power of love and the threat to our beautiful couple is likewise imaginable  a sinking ship  titanic is a typical hollywood production  totally and completely dependent on visual perfection to hide its primitive plot  its a good picture  but absolutely not a masterpiece  its among hundreds and thousands good films released every year  not better or worse than the average american film  
pos	cinema has been around for about a hundred years now   its not my job to recap this century every time i talk about a new film  but id like to think that im beginning to understand the art more as i watch more films from before my time  recently  ive seen the films of hitchcock  capra  fellini  godard  kurosawa  chaplin  lang  and many others   those men were talented artists  and their films reflect their genius   they are likely to be remembered for    well  quite a while   i like this film  too   yes  its a disasterslashaction movie   true  its budget is a lot more money than ill ever see in my lifetime   and theres not a doubt in my mind that the only reason it was conceived was to make a lot of money   in fact  i bet the producers of armageddon would have worked towards a lousy film  had they thought it wouldve been more profitable  i certainly dont care what their intentions were  because michael bay  the rock  is such a skilled director that i doubt hed ever make a film that is difficult to sit through  of course  skillful direction doesnt complete the package  but the rest of armageddon manages to keep everything together  the story is wellthought out  and perfectly paced to provide for an abundance of action sequences that never feel out of place   the acting is terrific  the script is sharp  and  get this  there are characters  yes  you read that right  armageddon actually has characters you can care about  if you dont like this film  then you have a problem with the genre itself  armageddon is as good as a film like this can be  if youve seen deep impact  then you know the basic framework for the story  it turns out that an asteroid the size of texas is going to strike the earth eighteen days from the start of the film  so  its up to the u  s  government to stop it   why the u  s  is always exclusively saddled with these problems is never fully investigated   their plan  to send a group of experienced oil drillers up to the asteroid  drill down several hundred feet  and detonate a nuclear warhead within  the head driller is harry stamper  bruce willis   his group of men is a colorful bunch  including a  j   ben affleck   chick  will patton   and rockhound  steve buscemi   theres also an interesting triangle formed between a  j   harry  and grace  liv tyler   who is harrys daughter  a  j  and grace are  of course  romantically intertwined  and dad isnt too happy with the situation  its absurd to wish for a complicated story in an event movie or a special effects movie or whatever it is youd like to call armageddon  its not about story  its about viscera and action  and thrillsaminute  and all that stuff  its incidental  really  that the story is cohesive and even remotely believable  because most people will be too wrapped up in the explosions to give two seconds thought to what actually happens  but bay is the one to congratulate in this case  for he has made a film so entertaining and so visually sharp that i doubt any director could have done it better  i think most of the budget went to cameras alone  because bay films every action sequence from about thirty or forty different angles  take the spectacular opening scene  for instance  in which a meteor shower obliterates new york  a meteor flies out of the sky and crashes into a building  which sends fireballs erupting into the air and cars spinning like tops upon other cars  the action itself might take five seconds in real life  but bay edits so quickly that we get the same scene in six different ways  i like his quickedit style  because its abrasive and exhausting to watch  its also very loud  and obnoxiously noisy at times  but its fun to be obnoxious sometimes  the special effects in this film put every other 1998 blockbuster to shame  deep impact  visually  has absolutely nothing on armageddon  and to offer a comparison between the quality of this film and godzilla is simply laughable  special effects are very important in a film like this  if theyre not good  then the image is not convincing  and the film doesnt work  everything here looks bright and explosive  from the little meteors bursting through skyscrapers  all the way to the shots of the earth through the jutting rocks on the ominously approaching asteroid  the effects that dont look totally real are still a pleasure to behold  and i credit everyone involved for creating the first blockbuster so nicelooking that it actually qualifies as art  of course  all of this would add up to little more than an aboveaverage light show  if i didnt get the feeling that bay cares as much about his characters as he does about his action  the film is two and a half hours long  and not all of that is spent submerged in numbing action  much of the film is dedicated to developing the various characters subplots  i wont suggest that these are complex characters  but their problems are real  and the emotions arent put forth in a sentimental and overbearing way  in fact  there are three or four scenes here that had me pretty choked up  and thats a lot more than i can say about deep impact  which was banking on the feelgood parts of its story  bruce willis is terrific  and im glad to see him bigger than life again  recent turns in films like mercury rising have been very disappointing   tyler and affleck are great together  and make a convincing couple  all of the scenes between them work on a comfortable level  patton  who is a magnificent actor  thankfully is not wasted here  and the minor subplot revolving around his exwife and son is very moving  the comic relief from buscemi and peter stormare  who plays a crazy russian astronaut  is nifty  and keeps the film lively and funny  i wasnt challenged to think real hard while watching armageddon  and i dont mind too much  but the film doesnt insult my intelligence  its pitched perfectly to entertain  which is what all it really wants to do  its not mindless and escapist  but wellcrafted cinema  it might have been created for the wrong reasons  but men like michael bay have my respect for showing me that they are interested in making something good  in spite of the producers and the budget  im not saying that films like this are risky moves  what i am saying is that armageddon is a big  loud  expensive motion picture that reminds me that art often comes in the strangest of forms  
pos	its no secret in the motion picture industry that the relationship between a script and the actors involved often makes or breaks a movie at the box office  a poorlywritten script can be bested by a superb acting corps  and a wellwritten piece can be mangled by a group of amateurs  in directing his latest actioncomedy  director brett ratner  money talks  takes a relatively mediocre piece of standup comedy and turns it into a funny as all getout buddy cop movie  in addition  rush hour serves as a firstclass example of directing a movie with conservative attitude  a feature that is sure to draw in crowds of all types  the two lead names share equal screen time here  mostly because they spend it together  jackie chan  in his first completely american production  makes an impressive debut by mixing dialogue with martial arts  the other martial arts flick from a few weeks ago  knock off  stands no chance against the content of this one  chan manages to make every fight scene exude grace and poise  and theres no doubt that a large percentage of video sales for this movie will come from viewers who couldnt believe their eyes the first time  chris tucker  on the opposite side  relates a hilarious comedic approach which smoothes out the rough edges to chans performance  he works perfectly with the script  and its quite likely he lent scribe jim kouf a hand with some of his lines  almost essential to the action genre  the plot is nonexistent  were quickly introduced to detective james carter  tucker  is a maverick officer for the lapd  cut forward to another scene where the daughter  julia hsu  of the american chinese consul  tzi ma  is kidnapped by a gang of swarthy characters  the fbi is quick to the rescue  but the consul insists that one of his men  detective inspector lee  chan   be brought on the case to help  the fbi resists  but then requests that lapd send a man over to babysit the chinese detective  its here that carter and lee hook up  and the two unwittingly solve the case while the fbi rushes in to back them up  rattner does a fine job of going the extra mile to get his movie to move a step up  but it doesnt quite reach the top tier of actioncomedies like last years grosse pointe blank  there are moments where the plot strays too far off the straight line it sticks almost exclusively to  and if not for the comedic interactions between tucker and chan  this might be a major drawback  also  some supporting characters are almost entirely along for the ride  and others are there simply to look menacing  however  none gives a standoffish performance and they mostly mesh into the background  almost every member of the cast displays some reservation at one point or another  whether its tuckers toneddown routine or chans tight rein on his action sequences  and that contributes greatly to this being a watchable movie for all types  a recommendable visit to the theater  indeed  
pos	when andy leaves for cowboy camp  his mother holds a yard sale and scrounges in his room for old toys  one of these toys is wheezy  a penguin with a broken squeaker  woody  tom hanks  saddles up andys dog and rides out into the yard to rescue wheezy  woody succeeds in his mission  but doesnt make it back to the house before al  the unscrupulous owner of als toy barn  recognizes woody as a rare collectors item and steals him  buzz lightyear  tim allen  leads hamm  john ratzenberger   mr  potato head  don rickles   slinky dog  jim varney   and rex  wallace shawn  into the city to find their friend  meanwhile woody discovers the reason he was kidnapped  al has collected every piece of merchandising from the 1950s tv puppet show  woodys roundup  except for a woody doll  now that the collection is complete  al plans to sell woody and his roundup gangbullseye the horse  jessie the cowgirl  joan cusack   and stinky pete the old prospector  kelsey grammer  to a toy museum in japan  the gang is happy about the move  theyve been in storage for years waiting for woody  if woody doesnt go with them  theyll be closed up in a dark box again  possibly forever  trying to convince him to stay with them  jessie tells woody how she was abandoned when her owner grew up  and woody realizes that his days as a beloved toy are numbered  while woody ponders whether to go to japan or to go home to andy  buzz and the boys invade als toy barn  where the buzz we know is replaced by another buzz who doesnt know hes a toy  the new buzz generates the movies biggest laughs as he leads the other toys in an assault on  zurgs fortress   i  e   als apartment building   the original  toy story  won me over because its central themes reflected a grownup sensibility rather than the usual thisiswhatwethinkkidswanttohear  while most kids movies take the position that every person is special and has an extraordinary destiny to fulfill  in  toy story  buzz discovered that he wasnt special  that he was just like everyone else  buzz sank into a suicidal depression  but woody showed buzz that being a toy was worthwhile because a toy is loved and a toy makes a child happy  in other words  its okay to be ordinary if you have love and a purpose in your life  most of us probably come to the same conclusion when we realize that were not space rangers and were never going to be   toy story 2  addresses the question raised by the conclusion drawn by the first movie  woody is forced to recognize that andy will grow up and forget him and that he will likely be discarded  abandoned  or sealed up in a dark box in the attic  this is another big grownup theme  everything ends  the theme is introduced early in the movie when woodys arm is torn and andy places him on a shelf rather than taking him to cowboy camp  on the shelf  woody meets wheezy  whos dusty  broken  and forgotten  the other toys are shocked that woody has been  shelved   and they worry that woodys ride out to the 25cent box at the yard sale is a suicide attempt  after hes stolen  woody has to decide between a long life in a display case and an uncertain future with andy and his pals  of course  in spite of the heavy themes  toy story 2  explores  its also very funny  most of the laughs come from the toys assault on als toy barn and on the apartment building  the brief substitution of a new  still delusional buzz was a welcome surprise  id wondered how a sequel could be as funny as the original without the pompous attitude buzz displayed in the original  most of the vocal performances are firstrate  tom hanks stands out for the level of enthusiasm he puts into his work  however  one voiceover also stands out as horribly miscast  kelsey grammer sounds nothing like an old prospector  although he does a lot of voiceover work in commercials and on  the simpsons   as sideshow bob   grammer only makes slight variations on his own voice  he doesnt have the range to pull off a role like stinky pete  the animation is even better than in the first  especially impressive were the textures of the figures  we can now see the difference between flesh and plastic  in the first movie the people looked just like the toys  but now human skin looks soft and has a slight bluish tint  we can also see that bo peep is porcelain  as you can tell from the longwinded phrasing common in the merchandising   disney and pixars toy story 2   this is pixars coming out party  to celebrate they appended their first project  a hilarious short about two desklamps and a rubber ball  to the beginning of the movie  they made the short in 1986  which is incredible when one considers the relatively primitive level of computer technology available then  on the downside   toy story 2  follows the formula of the original so closely that the sequel comes off a bit stale  and some sections tend to drag  overall  though  i had a great time and found  story 2  to be a worthy successor to the first  toy story   bottom line  this one really is fun for the whole family  
pos	david lynchs  blue velvet  begins and ends with colorful  bright shots of flowers and happy americans mowing their lawns in a seemingly perfect american town  however  what lies inside this nominally safe atmosphere is a  strange world  of drug dealers  sadists  and murderers  the opening and closing shots are a wonderful contrast to the rest of the gloomy  disturbing film  they show not to make assumptions from first glance and that oddness is common in all places under all circumstances  odd would be a perfect adjective to describe this film  its characters  its direction  and its story  thankfully  the obscurity that  blue velvet  relies on is enough to make this film enjoyable  since its elements are so originally weird  you never know what will happen next  this is the main goal of a movie  to be spontaneous and surprising   blue velvet  miracuously succeeds at this even though it contains mediocre acting  lynch creates such a hypnotic world that it is hard to resist his style of story telling  the film starts off with the discovery of a severed ear by a college boy  kyle maclachlan   from this point maclachlan finds himself involved with a lounge singer  isabella rossellinia  who has lost her son and husband to a kidnapping  the plot is much more detailed than the aforementioned and this is what makes david lynchs story telling so amazing  maclachlan becomes involved in a forbidden relationship  in another relationship that could have been taken straight out of a high school flick  and he is put into the shoes of a drug dealer who has some wild adventures with some wild friends  through these multiple stories  maclachlan lives multiple lives and as we follow maclachlan  we are introduced to a variety of interesting subplots  lynch masterfully builds these subplots but he does not piece them all together in the very end and make a convenient crowd pleasing conclusion  instead he leaves some ambiguity and forces those curious enough to get the real meaning to watch the film several several times  lynch has been known to do this with a number of his films meaning he may be too esoteric for some hoping to get a hollywood ending where the good guy gets the girl and everything turns out fine  however  for fans of odd difficult indies   blue velvet  could be just what they are looking for  it is very hard to discuss  blue velvet  without discussing the performance of dennis hoppers sadistic frank  most of the other actors in the film were not very memorable  kyle maclachlan lacked one important aspect for his role  a personality  laura dern was consistently annoying  but dennis hopper stole every scene he was in  his evil character was just plain old frightening in his mannerisms from his obsession to velvet to his incessant breathing from a gas mask  frank is a character that comes along once in a blue moon  many producers know this and have inevitably begun to typecast hopper as the bad guy  just like his villain in  speed   hopper is over the edge with cursing and screaming every chance he has to speak  this harshness is exactly what frank is  so weird and twisted that it is hard not to look at him  even if he theatens you to look away   blue velvet  has characters and stories you will never see in a movie again  for this sole reason it is recommended  but also see it to admire lynchs obsession to avoid the norm  even if this film is a little too weird for you  its hard not to congratulate a guy for trying something new and sticking to it  
pos	if chris farley had strapped some fake muttonchop sideburns to each side of his head  spoken with a thick irish accent  and tried his damnedest to play it straight  he wouldnt have been nearly as funny as brendan gleeson in  i went down   gleeson  whos not dissimilar to the late  saturday night live  alumnus in terms of physical attributes  plays a character named bunny kelly in this delightful irish film  bunny is sent to county cork to  retrieve  one frank grogan for an irish gangster called tom french  well dressed like all good gangsters should be and menacingly portrayed by tony doyle   bunny is to accompany git hynes  peter mcdonald   recently released from prison and obligated to tom for disfiguring one of his cronies  that tom french is a mean bollocks  he wants frank back  and a small matter of some  25  000 that toms wife was supposed to have given to frank  for this he wont break anyones thumbs  maybe  inventively and engagingly written by conor mcpherson and directed by paddy breathnach   i went down  follows the trials and tribulations of git and bunny as they knock around peat bogs  dimlylit pubs  and seedy hostelries trying to stay alive and out of trouble  mcdonald is a newcomer and a promising one at that  but gleeson has been in over a dozen movies  most recently as father bubbles in another film with a very irish accent on hilarity   the butcher boy   even if you cant comprehend half of what theyre saying  gleeson and mcdonald together make  i went down  a trip worth taking  the film is in many ways reminiscent of another  little  independent feature  1991s  highway 61   that film  too  was a road movie and it shares the same kind of wry dialogue and humorous situations as mcphersons tale  whimsical observations on life  carefullycrafted vignettes  deadpan conversational asides  and scenes thatll make you laugh out loud  witness the episode in which our goodnatured protagonists bind frank  played by peter caffrey  to a hotel bed  leaving him with only the tv remote for company  that sequence alone is on a par with satan locking himself out of his car in  highway 61   whats also charming about  i went down  is how the relationship between buddy and git develops  their trip becomes an education for both of them  but the way its handled is neither sappy nor labored  the only thing in the film which approaches clunkiness is the culminating explanation  via flashbacks  of the relationship between frank and tom  its a little too hollywood  and what makes  i went down  so refreshing is the fact that it rarely panders to traditional conventions of hollywood gangster movies  sure its grittymake that grubbybut its also pretty goofy  although  i went down  emphasizes the comedic elements of disorganized crime  there are a couple of fairly brutal scenes in keeping with the subject matter  dont let these deter you  though   i went down  is a little gem  its only playing at one philadelphiaarea theaterand i suspect it wont be there for longso catch it while you can  
pos	 you leave little notes on my pillow  i told you a million times i cant stand little notes on my pillow  we are all out of corn flakes  f  u   it took me three hours to figure out that f  u   was felix unger    a frustrated oscar madison  walter matthau  running down a list of his complaints against his roommate felix unger  jack lemmon   in the odd couple  the classic neil simon comedy  based on his own stage play  about suicidal felix  lemmon   who is persuaded by his poker friend oscar  matthau  to stay with him in his apartment after felixs wife throws him out and files for divorce  the hook  oscar is messy and likes his apartment that way  while felix is an obsessivecompulsive neat freak  the two men  despite their friendship  instantly clash  movies just arent as delightfully funny as this one is  every line of neil simons dialogue flows like comedic poetry  and all the actors are just perfect in their performances  lemmon is at his best as the anxiety ridden felix  but its matthau who shines brightest as oscar  whose world is being invaded and rearranged  mostly against his wishes  the type of character i always enjoy identifying with   and who can forget that catchy score by neal hefti  the best thing about the film  and this is a testament to the quality of the writing  is that its a comedy with substance  these two men  even while at each others throats  genuinely care for one another as friends  when they clash  it isnt cartoonish hatred being displayed  but genuine frustration with the fact that they are such good friends but just cannot manage to coexist  movies nowadays  take grumpy old men for example  just dont have that extra spark there  these days its just animosity for the sake of comedy  a television series followed  starring jack klugman and tony randall   which ill admit ive never seen an episode of in its entirety  and neil simon even scripted the sequel  the odd couple ii  which was released in 1998  neither of them compare to this comic masterpiece though  its one of the best comedies of all time and easily earns its spot in my top ten favorite films  
pos	ingredients  lost parrot trying to get home  friends synopsis  a russian janitor named misha  tony shalhoub  discovers a little old parrot languishing in the basement of a science research facility   paulie the talking parrot   the voice of jay mohr  soon regales misha with his life story  as a young bird paulie is raised by marie  hallie kate eisenberg   a little girl with a speech impediment  by attending maries speech lessons  paulie learns to actspeak like a regular person  unfortunately  after being unfairly blamed for an accident  paulie is taken to a pawn shop and sold  paulies biggest wish is to return to marie  many years later  and after a succession of memorable owners  gena rowlands  cheech marin  and jay mohr   paulie falls in with a bad crowd and is apprehended in los angeles trying to steal jewelry  he is sent to a cruel research facility  where he refuses to participate and is imprisoned the basement  will misha help paulie get back to marie  opinion  every time people watch movies that portray animals as beings with cute human personalities  some wellmeaning audience members go out next christmas or birthday and buy a dalmatian or whatever creature is currently popular  soon enough   birthday kid  loses interest and the purchased pup ends up at the local pound  a victim of neglect  my sister owns a real paulie  it thinks like a parrot  bites like a parrot  and requires as much attention as a newborn human infant  please think twice before buying one  okay  back to the story  in movies  parrots usually play support characters  but paulie might be the first movie where the  animatronic  bird gets main billing  paulie  like those side characters in disney cartoons  is cute and sassy  a strutting  miniature human  actually  paulie is the voice of jay mohr  he played jennifer anistons boyfriend on picture perfect  doing his best buddy hackett impression  which is interesting  since hackett himself cameos as the pawn shop owner  and mohr doubles as a customer   paulie is for kids  while watching paulie you hear little tykes in the theater laughing hysterically when paulie calls the cat a  stupid furball   sometimes  however  there are statements the kids dont get  for example  when paulies elderly owner ivy  gena rowlands  dies  paulie explains   well  one day  the cat got her   and you hear kids exclaim   what cat    imagine lassie come home  except with a dollsized human dressed as a bird  and youll have a good idea of the plot and characterization  bird tries to get home  bird meets elderly friend  bird loses elderly friend  bird meets eccentric friend  bird loses eccentric friend  bird meets bad influence  and so on and so forth  with paulie meeting friends and saying goodbye at a meandering pace until he finally makes it back to marie  trini alvarado   the bottom line  break out the popcorn money  moms and dads  paulie may be the low end version of lassie  bambi  or babe  but hell do  sometimes the wisecracks go over their heads  but im sure youngsters can appreciate a story about a little person  paulie  trying to get home  meeting friends and experiencing moral lessons on the way  and good luck explaining what it means when paulie says of ivy   well  one day  the cat got her   
pos	tempe mills cinema  azthis movie had us in nonstop stitches from beginning to end  all those promotional clips that have been on tv for the past month came from the first five minutes of the movie  if you thought they were funny  see the rest of the movie  its hilarious  how does one go about making a movie about a couple guys whose only claim to fame is synchronized headbopping on snl to exactly one song  easy  write an interesting script around triedandtrue ideas  add some good lines and satire  and voil   you end up with an excellent  welldone  very entertaining flick  will and chris are idiot brothers forced by their father to work begrudgingly in the family flower business during the day  at night they pursue their lifelong ambition to loose their virginity in failed attempts to get into the roxbury in beverly hills  ca  the only disco act worth going to  the only problem  the place is so popular and the waiting line so long that by the time the brothers make it to the front door  the roxbury closes  all the while bearing witness to guys with onehundreddollar bills and movie stars like richard grieco who get past the doorman without fuss  the script authors  steve koren  will ferrell and chris kattan  cleverly devised a way for our boys to get into the roxbury  their flowershop van is rearended by richard grieco  who fears a lawsuit and is surprised to see the idiots are too starstruck to think about the car accident they just had  but not about getting into the roxbury  grieco happily takes them in  even introduces them to the owner  which has the added benefit of enhancing the financial appearance of the idiot brothers in the eyes of a couple of gold diggers  elisa donovan and gigi rice  who bet their time and bodies on will and chris  what follows are some of the best slapstick dancing routines ever  the music is superb  and could have only been made better had the producers added patrick hernandezs born to be alive  the choreography at times was a parody of an era gone by  for example  the bee gees and their stayin alive  it is nostalgic for those of us who remember that far back  and the technique is a clever adaptation that worked well in forest gump  one of the funniest scenes is when the gold diggers discover that will and chris dont have any mone y  and dump both on the spot  even expressing violence and anger that they gave sex away  an artimitateslife poke at shallow women  its a scene thats an approximate parody of the vinegars own rolf luedekes editorial this week national organization for men  nom  replaces now  ted  unabomber  kaczynski  himself rejected for not having money  will identify well with this scene  if he ever watches the movie  of course  the script wouldnt be complicated enough without adding molly shannon  the girl next door who has had a crush on will since they were kids  and who will has had an aversion to in quest of goodlooking disco blondes  proof that men will turn down perfectly good women when there are bay watch babes always lurking nearby   nevertheless  wills father wants him to marry molly anyway  but thinks idiot chris is standing in the way and sends him into guestquarter exile  during the wedding ceremony  wills heart isnt exactly into getting married  and when his brother appears on the balcony with a ghetto blaster and more headbopping music  will thinks worse of the knottieing idea and runs to chris  definitely an snl parody of the graduate where katharine ross changed her mind for the screaming dustin hoffman in the church balcony  i found this scene a riot  however  it went over brandis head  she was born seven years after the graduate first appeared  the scene has a good punch line when molly shannon marries  instead  the stepin buddyweightlifter  who looks like he could pass for the son of gary busy  and who has been lusting for a goodlooker for a long time  but ready now to take anyone  more artimitateslife stuff  not even muscles can substitute for money in the real world  the idiots mother is played by loni anderson  whose barbiedoll looks dont play well anymore  shes a bit old   and whose cleavage looks like someone botched a tracheotomy too low down  i recommend this movie for anyone who wants to have a lot of fun or in need of a lot of laughs  go with a date  brandi laughed nonstop  as i did  and a deafmute might have concluded i was tickling her continuously for 105 minutes  
pos	there is nothing like american history x in theaters or on video  no other feature film takes such a cold hard look at the lure  the culture  and the brotherhood of white supremacy  nice guy ed norton jr   who sang in everyone says i love you  plays derek  a twentyyear old skinhead  dads subtle racism grew large in derek  after gang members killed his father  dad was fighting a fire when they shot him  now derek keeps his head shaved and has a giant swastika tattooed over his heart  derek is more interested in the ideas of white supremacy than in its culture of violence  at a basketball court  black and white tempers flare  derek channels the aggression into a game  black versus white  for ownership of the courts  when the choice presents itself  derek goes for game point instead of the suckerpunch  cameron  stacy keach  steps in to dereks life as a surrogate father  he takes derek under his wing and nurtures his racist feelings  keeping his own criminal record spotless  he uses derek as a leader and organizer for highvisibility racial intimidation  derek obliges by leading his younger and dumber friends in racemotivated mob crimes  at the bottom of the chain  dereks younger brother danny  edward furlong  made famous in terminator 2  joins the skinheads not for ideological or intellectual reasons  but because he admires his brother and he wants to belong  one night three black youths break into dereks truck  which is exactly what derek has been waiting for  outside in his shorts and his tattoo  he shoots them all  the third wouldbe thief  unarmed  is only wounded  in the key scene of the film  derek commands the kid into a position where he can be killed with one glorious  enraptured  awful stomp   the funspoiling nc17 of orgazmo seems even more inappropriate  considering american history x was rated r  what sort of country is this that says sex comedies are a bigger threat to our youth than brutal  ecstatic violence   the police arrive just as derek kills the last thief  derek does not resist the cops  and as they spin him around to cuff him  the film slows down  derek raises his eyebrows and smiles at his little brother in a chilling  sadistic  satisfied grin  now in prison  derek faces new challenges  as the black man in the laundry tells him   in the joint  you the nigra  not me   there is a clique of swastikawearing skinheads  but they are not interested in the ideology of white supremacy  they only use the symbols as a means of intimidation  derek finds himself truly alone  truly in danger  and truly afraid  when derek finally gets out of prison  he finds that his friends from the gang have also changed  without dereks leadership  they have shunned the white supremacist ideology for the white supremacist culture  it is the final factor that makes him realize how badly hes screwed up  in the end  he spends quality time with is brother trying to undo the respect and admiration he had earlier inspired in danny  the film ends a little too deliberately  too neatly after the unchained emotion and violent glee of the rest of the film  but it barely detracts from the overall experience  edward norton gives an oscarworthy performance  although some of his dialogue seemed to be written without enough conviction  nortons performance compensated   an example that comes to mind is his pep talk before looting the store   he also captured the essence of an older brother  he took his responsibility as a role model to his younger brother very seriously  very lovingly  both before and after his change of heart  though clearly not for all tastes  this film is bold and daring  the subject matter is ugly  cruel  and at times hard to look at  nevertheless its subjects are part of humanitys great face  kaye gives us a good look at this fascinating  if distasteful  american subculture  
pos	john von neumann  progenitor of the computer age and critically important mathematician on the manhattan project  pointed out long ago that there is a great way to explore the cosmos  even without recourse to fasterthan light travel  you send out selfreplicating robot ships which explore and radio back information  it may take decades  centuries  or millennia  but it can be done with achievable technology  and doesnt require a magical fasterthanlight drive  in the fifties  british astronomer fred hoyle improved on this plan by suggesting that it would be better to radio plans for a complex computer and a program for it  any civilization capable of receiving the transmission could build the computer  which would then engage in a realtime dialog with the aliens  exchanging information and technologies  and hopefully arranging to send back what it had learned  about thirtyfive years ago  the bbc contracted with astronomerwriter fred hoyle and writer frank elliot to create the scripts for a miniseries called a for andromeda  afa concerned the reception of a hoyle transmission  the construction of a huge computer  the computers analysis of life on earth  and its creation of an apparently human intermediary to facilitate communication  she was played with ethereally inhuman perfection by the thenunknown julie christie  audience response was so strong that the bbc contracted for a sequel  andromeda breakthrough  which played to equally high ratings  dennis feldman  whose previous credits include the golden child  has never been noted for coherent  wellstructured movie scripts  they start out great  and then disintegrate into a morass of chase and action  mitigated only by the presence of the obligatory beautiful girl  feldman writes good scenes  but has no idea how to tell a story or write a movie  even with a previous version to use as a model  now  in species  we have a mundane retread of the andromeda plotline  derailed by a preoccupation with removing the clothes from the leading lady and further ruined by a mediocre attempt to emulate several recent horror films in terms of splatter  gore  and chases  species features ben kingsley  who is completely wasted in a badlywritten portrayal of a feebly amoral scientist  forest whitaker and alfred molina are also served poorly by the script  the species story is relatively simple  we have been radioing information about ourselves and our dna out into space since 1971  and have been receiving answers for two years   note that  in the 1970s  we really didnt know diddly about the human genome structure  and were hardly in a position to radio out a set of blueprints for human beings  even today  all we can do is give information about dna and how it works  not a copy of human dna  because we dont have it analyzed yet   the answers we get from the unknown alien source are plans for recreating a member of the alien race  and doctor xavier finch  played by ben kingsley  is placed in charge of the attempt  the script begins to go off the deep end at this point  when the result is a beautiful young girl who can shapeshift into any of several ugly alien life forms  the first half of the film has something to offer  as  sil   the alien girl  struggles with her multiform existence  changing from beauty to lizard to giant cockroach and back again  all while trying to understand her own place in the cosmos  she seems oddly knowledgeable about human society  with glaring gaps where her social skills should be  her instincts are to mate and procreate  and some of the best scenes deal with her attempts in this area  escaping from her birth laboratory in utah  sil is pursued by a team of drafted civilians with orders to find her and kill her  she goes on an eating binge  spins herself a cocoon  and emerges as an adult  played by natasha henstridge  who goes a long way toward recreating the sheerly inhuman beauty julie christie achieved in 1960  the pursuers  michael madsen is an assassinexterminator  forrest whitaker is a convenient empathpsychic  just as though the u  s  government actually had such people on call  neither is able to do much with the writing and directing provided  whitakers role seems to be aimed at making whitaker a male copy of star trek  the next generations  counselor cleavage   the other members of the strike team are played by marg helgenberger and alfred molina  kingsley and whitaker are both consummate professionals  too good to not work to the best of their abilities  but the performances donaldson elicited from the rest of the cast are disappointing and bland  and it is apparent that the direction was a bit weak  h  r  gigers design for the main form of the alien creature is actually a bit boring when we finally get to see it  although previous digital effects were done quite smoothly  the main fault of species is lack of originality  it starts out with a wonderful  albeit borrowed  premise  and then doesnt live up to it  all we get are chase scenes and a few nice sex scenes  with a few monsters tossed in  there is no buildup of tension and suspense  no climax worthy of the name  species is just a sequence of  scare  scenes stuck together  the movie is carried by its chase and sex scenes  but not rescued by them  on the other hand  as an exercise in scifi action adventure  it certainly beats the ichor out of judge dredd  species earns an extra rating point or two for having ben kingsley and natasha henstridge on board  but by and large  its fun only for those of us who really like this sort of thing  my personal rating is three stars  but knock one or two of those off if you dont enjoy pretty unclothed ladies and bloodthirsty alien monsters  mpaa classification  r  violence  gore  nudity  sex  language  stars  ben kingsley  michael madsen  forest whitaker  alfred molina  marg helgenberger  natasha henstridge directed by  roger donaldson produced by  frank mancuso jr  and dennis feldman typed by  dennis feldman cinematography  andrzej bartkowiak music  christopher young run time  108 minutes aspect ratio  2  35  1 from mgm  opens 7 july 1995 
pos	as the small boats rock slowly toward the shore at omaha beach normandy on dday  the weary  seasick soldiers take a deep breath and open the large protective shield at the back of the boat  they are unaware of exactly what is going to happen  one man kisses the crucifix that hangs around his neck  as the flap falls  the battle begins  they are trapped like rats in a cage and proceed to be blown to pieces in the wake of enemy gunfire  amid the chaos of this massacre  stands a shot that  at least for me  hangs in the air like the girl in the little red coat in schindlers list  a soldier  clearly missing an arm  wanders around the bodystrewn beach like a lost puppy  we are not invited to know what he is searching for until he finds it himself  he bends over  picks up his arm and starts to carry it  probably not bothering to ask himself   what now   saving private ryan is a masterfully composed film  the direction is out of this world  surely the type of command that can win spielberg another directing oscar  the cinematography  by janusz kaminsky  is also astounding  but be forewarned  this is the most violent and graphic film i have ever seen  the articles you read and the warnings you see are justified  saving private ryan is visually as disturbing as a film can get  the question is   does the story and its realism justify the excessive use   the answer from my point of view is  no   braveheart was a truly gritty  and  one would imagine  realistic battle film  ryan is ten times worse  expect disembowelments  sucked in skulls  heads blown to bits  arms and legs flying across the battlefield  many in the theater could not bear to watch  and it is a shame  too  because this is otherwise by far one of the standouts this year  but such graphic displays may turn away even the most loyal spielberg supporters  and academy members   saving private ryan takes us from the attack at omaha beach on dday  1944  through into the films primary mission  captain miller  hanks  assembles an 8 man crew and sets off to find a missing solider  private ryan  whose three brothers have already been killed on the battlefield  the government goes to great lengths to make sure that mrs  ryan doesnt recieve a fourth letter of condolences about her sons  that no person should suffer such injustice  millers crew is not in favor of the mission and they begin to harbor a secret hatred for ryan  though they dont yet know him  they resent having to trudge out to bring home one soldier who doesnt have any more or less right to live than any of them  this film manages to keep up a rapid pace and  though there is a lot of set up between battles  the story continues full speed to the end  the pacing and dramatism of the extremely well choreographed battle scenes is really in a league of its own  spielberg  though not a student of the  quick cut  school of filmmaking  takes a stab at it here  and does it better than michael bay or any of his mtv counterparts could ever hope to do it  bay should pay close attention  take copious notes  if you want to jump cut every two seconds  do it the way spielberg does it in ryan  in the end  the extremity of the gory violence is not justified by the  importance  of the film  schindlers list taught many people the truth about the holocaust  it opened eyes  sparked debate and study  though the battle scenes in ryan have never been portrayed as realistically before  they dont amount to anything as serious or thought provoking as the schindlers list  overall  this is just the truest depiction of the old adage   war is hell   but braveheartdosage would have fit this movie much more appropriately  and would have made the difference between me getting up the nerve to see it again some day and realizing that this is something i doubt i could endure again  masterful work marred only by excessive gore  
pos	 the faculty   the heavilyhyped and advertised scifihorror film that has teamed up director robert rodriguez  1995s  desperado  and 1996s  from dusk till dawn   and screenwriter kevin williamson  1996s  scream  and 1997s  scream 2    is being called a cross between  invasion of the body snatchers  and  the breakfast club   and i dont think i could describe it any better than that  the film sets up the six central teenage characters who do not seem to have much in common  and then the sciencefiction aspect is added  involving the fear that the faculty at herrington high school are actually aliens who are quickly transforming everyone in the town  the six characters  as in  the breakfast club   can be easily labeled as a stereotype  but as they are developed  they become far more complex  casey  elijah wood   the much picked upon nerd  stokely  clea duvall   a goth outcast who hides behind the false facade of being a lesbian so everyone will avoid her  zeke  josh hartnett   a drug dealer who turns out to be a science whiz  stan  shawn hatosy   the star football quarterback who is considering quitting the team to concentrate more on academics  delilah  jordanna brewster   the popular cheerleader and newspaper journalist  and marybeth  laura harris   the sweet n southern new girl in town  although the characters are only slightly connected  i  e  casey is delilahs photojournalist assistant  marybeth tries to become buddies with stokely  since they both dont have friends  etc    when they all begin to suspect the teachers due to some grotesque and strange occurrences  the only people they can count on for help is each other  even though they arent really even sure if they can trust one another   the faculty  is another smart and popculturally hip film from williamson  although it does not equal up to his best film  the original  scream   and rodriguez  whose  from dusk till dawn  is still one of the more original genre films of the 90s  williamson and rodriguez are so assured at their professions  respectively  that the idea of teaming up together is pretty much a nobrainer  the plotline of  the faculty   involving aliens taking over other peoples bodies  has been done quite a lot before  from  invasion of the body snatchers   to  the puppet masters   to  invaders from mars   so one of the obstacles that williamson and rodriguez had to overcome was to somehow make the idea seem fresh  and by setting the goingson at a high school and having the protagonists be a group of teens  they were mostly successful  surely  the conventions of the story are still the same  and the climax was inevitable  but there were a few surprises along the way  including the question of who were the aliens  and who werent  the epilogue was also a refreshing changeofpace as it did not set up a sequel but ended on a note that probably could not have been any better  the performances in  the faculty  were a treat throughout  since there were so many recognizable actors in roles that were the polar opposite of what they usually do  one exception were the teens  who  aside from elijah wood  are not very wellknown  but they all aquit themselves nicely  particularly wood  the seasoned pro   clea duvall  and jordanna brewster  as members of the faculty  robert patrick   t2  judgement day   was creepy as the gym coach  piper laurie was amusing and threatening as the drama teacher  bebe neuwirth actually was somehow able to look like an alien  and salma hayek  as the school nurse with a bad case of the cold  was very funny in a small role  the standout  in my opinion  of the whole cast was famke janssen who turns in an oddly touching performance as the shy and meek english teacher who  after turning into an alien  becomes the sex bombshell  if there was any problem i had with the faculty  it was that some of them were given no real payoff in the climactic sequence  since the teenagers realize that in order to save everyone they must kill the  queen  alien  many of the faculty members disappear  it might have been more fun if they had to face every one of the teachers  although the finale is still pretty impressive  and includes some showstopping creature effects  especially for a relatively low 15milliondollar budget  although not one of the best horror or sciencefiction films i have seen   the faculty  is still an exciting and worthy film that dimension films was smart to release around the holiday season when this type of genre offering is usually not released  while the story is as old as the hills  it is also  in a way  timeless  because everyone  i think  has suspected at one time or another that a certain person simply did not act right  as if they really werent human  and by putting this idea in the setting of a smalltown high school  it perfectly contrasts with the alienation that most teenagers usually go through when relating to adults and other peers   note  the ad and poster campaign for this film is hugely misleading  as it features r  b artist usher raymond as one of the main characters  in actuality  he only has a small role as one of stans buddies who becomes quarterback after stan resigns from the team  if i were one of the heads from dimension  i would change this advertising at once  since it is unnecessary and rather deceiving  
pos	the central focus of michael winterbottoms  welcome to sarajevo  is sarajevo itself  the city under siege  and its different effect on the characters unfortunate enough to be stuck there  it proves the backdrop for a stunningly realized story which refreshingly strays from mythic portents   platoon    racial tumultuosness  the risible  the walking dead   or a tinge of schmaltziness   schindlers list    the two leads  stephen dillane as a reporter and emira nusevic as an orphan with a plight few can identify with  are extremely believable  not one moment with them involved rings false  the question is not what went right  the question is what went wrong  for one  the film fails to provide a political overview of the war as it progresses  the dillane characters reports an american plane departing from sarajevo as it departs  and thats about it    the assortment of highprofile supporting actors  ranging from woody harrelson as a yankee reporter  into  liquor and cigarrettes to marisa tomei as a huggable childrens aid or somesuch are incapable of rising above the sketchiness of their characters  albeit they strive  the interrupted use of authentic war footage somewhat hampers the rest of the film  it makes the fictional characters seem powerless by comparison  still  winterbottom eschews mawkishness through flashy  frantic editing and imaginative use of music  and its a plus  because he doesnt toy with our emotions with sentimental blandness  he wants us to know that in war  no one is victorious  the sweet hereafter starring ian holm  sarah polley  bruce greenwood  tom mccamus  gabrielle rose  arsinee khanjian  alberta watson  maury chaykin  caerthan banks  produced by atom egoyan and camelia frieberg  script by atom egoyan  based on the novel by russell banks   directed by atom egoyan  running time  110 mins  rated r   atom egoyans powerfully meditative  the sweet hereafter  is as anything as haunting and transcendental as ive seen this year  it not only explores the aftermaths of a terrible tragedy with magnificent subtlety  with cold  and stunning shots of the backdrop of this mistfortune but also by telegraphing the sense of devastation that has permeated the small town with an enormous amount of dignity and respect for each and every soul affected  ian holm as the somber  lonely lawyer seeking compensation for the townspeople  has a decency and a restraint uncommon with lawyers  hes a lion for the wrong reasons  the pain for having lost his daughter  shes a druggie who frequently calls him begging for money  is reflected on the town  and in some mesmerizing flashbacks  we witness how she lost her purity  its one of the most strikingly breathtaking takes on the loss of innocence ive ever seen  but the most astounding part goes to sarah polly  the peaceful  benevolent girl who  in contrast to the other characters  remains the most mentally stable during past  present or future  her ability to convey concealed pain and unconditional love is the opposite  yet nearrevolutionary role that won emily watson an oscar nomination for  breaking the waves   both women are torn apart by an extraordinary incident but it is only then that we truly see  truly feel  their wordless  omnipotent love   the sweet hereafter  though  is atom egoyans movie and as of now  he is emerging as the definite face of independent cinema  after surging to worldwide recognition with 1994s  exotica    the sweet hereafter  makes him something few people in this industry can call themselves  an artist  he interweaves time with a delicacy and sees a soul with a purity that is just not common  
pos	after the average mouse hunt  the silly small soldiers and the entertaining antz  dreamworks try again with the childrens film market with this stunning adaptation of the moses story  as the film warns us at the beginning  its not the full story  and some liberties have been taken  but generally this the bible story we all know and love  featuring burning bushes  the plagues and the parting of the red sea  the only thing missing is charlton heston  instead  we get val kilmer voicing moses  an hebrew who is placed in a river by his mother and rescued by the queen of egypt  helen mirren   we flash forward several years to see moses and brother rameses  fiennes  all grown up  moses soon finds out from brother and sister miriam and aaron  sandra bullock and jeff goldblum  that he isnt really the son of the pharaoh seti  patrick stewart  and that it his destiny to free the hebrews from the egyptians tyrannical rule  he soon sets about this  along with his wife tzipporah  michelle pfeiffer   rameses and his two wizard friends  voiced by steve martin and martin short  try to stop moses completing his task  while the plot is familiar and somewhat exciting for adults  for children reared on aladdin and hercules  this film could be the most godawful thing theyve ever seen  gone is the quick fire humour and standard  easy to follow plot  but  spectacularly  and to dreamworks credit  nearly every child in the audience was captivated by the story and events happening on screen  jeffrey katzenberg  who produced this film  certainly knows how to keep a child interested  hes included some songs in the film  plus some comedy  and a exciting chariot chase  to keep the children interested  and somehow  himself and the directors still manage to get all the drama and intensity of the story across  without ever being boring  its a remarkable achievement  also remarkable is the animation  which puts hercules  an almost slap dash effort  to shame  relying on hand drawn and computer animation  the backgrounds and characters are amazingly detailed  the film seems a little caught up with its amazing visuals by showing a lot of sweeping visuals and moving shots  but they do look incredible  the final plague where god kills every first born child  and the parting of the red sea have to be seen to be believed  kudos to the animators  the vocal talent is also very good  val kilmer does a fine job as moses  although he doesnt sing  and ralph fiennes is superb as rameses  and he does sing   sandra bullock and jeff goldblum are great  and steve martin and martin short are very good  but not in the film long enough  finally  michelle pfeiffer does excellent work as moses wife  kudos also goes to the voice of god  who instead of booming and bombastic is quiet and subdued  sadly  he is uncredited  and i couldnt quite work out who the voice was   but email if you do   the songs are good  ranging from the usual love sonnets to the traditional big production number  they dont disturb the movie  and while not particularly memorable  they are nice to listen to  theyre well sung aswell   the musical score is suitably epic  with some beautiful tunes  coupled with the superb visuals  the prince of egypt is a visual and aural treat  backed up with a great story  entertaining both for kids and adults  this film is a must see  a david wilcock review  1998  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
pos	i have seen several  but not that many  woody allen movies  i didnt particulary like radio days  the purple rose of cairo  play it again  sam  i quite enjoyed manhatten murder mystery and everything    sex  and i loved might aphrodite  however i found bullets over broadway to be a snoozing bore  and bullets got some very raving reviews  but i didnt think id like  but i finally saw it  double feature with ready to wear i think  and hated it  since    i love you also seems to be getting raving reviews i wasnt sure if id want to see    thankfully i did  people burst into singing and dancing  something i hardly ever like  but this movie is so infectious  and funny  and entertaining   and unlike evita  they only sing when they need to   sure some of the actors may not be great singers  but they seems to be having a great time  and so does the audience  thats all i have to say  really  if you think that is going to be a dull movie  youre probably dead  and dead people should not be forced into movie theatres  is mark leeper dead  he said that  this is an almost ghastly misfire   the movie is rated r  for  one  use of the word motherf       
pos	fritz langs first american film since leaving nazi germany  is an eyeopener about a lynch mob in a small town  joe wilson  spencer tracy  is a regular joe  a hardworking stiff  a decent guy  who is living with his two brothers  tom  walcott  and charlie  albertson   in chicago  he is engaged to katherine grant  sylvia sidney   but cant save up enough money to marry her  she takes the train west for a better paying job as a teacher  before she departs  she gives him the wedding ring her father gave to her mother  sews up his ripped trench coat  corrects him when he mistakingly says the wrong word for memento  and kisses him goodbye  a year goes by and joe buys a car and tells katherine that he will meet her to get married in capitol city  that he has quit his job and hopes to open a gas station  driving through the rural backroads and camping out at night while going to met her  he arrives at a nearby town called strand  but the deputy sheriff  buggs  meyers  walter brennan  comes upon him waving a shotgun and arrests him  he accuses him of the kidnapping of a little girl  the sheriff  ellis  finds salted peanuts on him just like the kidnapper had in his pocket  he also has a five dollar bill on him that matches one of the numbers of the ransom money  and he fits the general description of the suspect  locked in jail  he waits for the district attorney to look at his claim of innocence  in the local bar  the town citizens go into a rage when learning that an arrest has been made in the kidnapping  fueled by angry talk about getting back at the kidnapper and of having the deputy inadvertently telling them of the ransom money found on the suspect  a mob storms the jail  burns it down and dynamites it when they cant get through to the prisoners jail cell  the sheriff called the governor for the national guard  but one of his political advisers countermanded that request  saying it wouldnt look right for the governor in an election year to call out troops for those he wants to vote for him  somehow joe escapes  but his dog rainbow dies  katherine hears what has happened on the radio and rushes to the neighboring town of strand only to see him engulfed by flames in his cell  and becomes convinced that he died  the next day the newspapers announce that the guilty kidnapper confesses  joe makes his way back to chicago and tells his brothers  who are startled to see him alive  that he wants revenge  he thereby supplies his brothers with the names of the 22 leaders in the lynch mob  an ambitious district attorney  walter abel  prosecutes the 22 for murder  katherine  not knowing hes alive  remains in a state of shock  but is asked to be a witness that she saw joe burning to death  the defense claims that it cant be a charge of murder without a corpse  the trial proves to be interesting  as the citizens in this closeknit  respectable community  lie under oath  providing alibis for each other to prove they couldnt have been at the jail  the sheriff also lies  saying he cant identify anyone in the mob  but proof comes by way of a newsreel cameraman who caught the whole incident on film  as for proof of the corpse  an anonymous letter is addressed to the judge enclosed with the wedding ring katherine gave joe  in the note  memento is misspelled  which makes katherine realize that joe is alive  when the sentence is announced  20 of the accused are found guilty of murder  but joe marches into the courtroom and gives a pious speech about what happened  katherine forgives him  and this very strong film ends on a weaker note than i think it should have  but dont blame lang for all the changes in the film  of trying to take the town off the hook by introducing this wild revenge motive  mgm couldnt bear to have it made the way lang wanted it  that is  by having tracy die in the lynching  instead they wanted to stop short of condemning so many small american towns where lynchings actually do occur  and they thereby meddled throughout the entire script  to langs credit  even if this film failed to be a masterpiece because of the interference  it still did not let the good citizens off the moral hook  his portrayal of the attempted lynching was powerfully done and was not compromised  you couldnt help get the feeling that the citizens didnt care that much that they almost lynched an innocent man  but cared more about protecting the reputation of their town and would do anything to keep their 22 vigilantes from going to jail  even perjuring themselves  their reaction to seeing joe alive was satisfying only in that it meant they werent going to be convicted  lang by no means implies that the town has learned its lesson from this incident  he does imply that a dark side to joe wilson has been exposed  and the innocent  jovial goodguy  seen in the beginning of the film  has been largely altered forever by this traumatic experience  
pos	veteran actor clint eastwood has never looked as grizzled as he does in true crime  his latest directorial effort  when steve everett  his newest character  gets angry at someone  he glares them down with those famous dirty harry eyes  furrows his brow and frowns like a grizzly bear whos just lost his cubs  eastwood has played some particularly despicable characters in his time  but everett could just take the cake  he gets my vote  at least  partly because ev is a drunken affairaweek womanizer who has many relationship problems  very few of which are with his wife  diane venora   when his colleague at the oakland tribune is in an ugly car wreck and dies  everett must take over for her at a vital interview session  the interview is with frank beacham  isaiah washington   a deathrow inmate set to die at midnight for the murder of a pregnant convenience store clerk  eastwood furrows his brow  as everett gradually finds information  he realizes that beacham could very well be innocent  he interviews a key witness  michael jeter   who claims that he burst in the door at pocums foods because his car had overheated  only to see beacham standing over the dead womans body  blood on his suspenders  gun in hand  but everett protests  how could he have seen the gun  which was lowered by his side  with the potato chip rack in front of him  jeter doesnt know what hes talking about  eastwood furrows his brow  crinkled expressions and all  clint is the centre of energy of true crime  the film is by no means a standard actionsuspense yarn  but a thoughtful human story in which the characters come before the shootouts  isaiah washington has a breakout performance as frank beacham  and scenes with him and his weary wife  lisa gay hamilton  are truly heartfelt moments  but the best scenes are ones that feature eastwood duking it out with those in authority over him  denis leary  as everetts editor and boss  has more than a few memorable moments of restrained anger  you see  ev is sleeping with his wife   but hands down  the most enjoyable segments of the film are when james woods is on camera  playing the big boss alan mann  woods and eastwood create amusing chemistry and laughoutloud punchlines  when true crime opts for a highspeed chase to the governers house at the finale  the quality of filmmaking takes an abrupt nosedive  eastwood was so successful with colorful character portraits that he didnt need to switch lanes  true crime is a tensionbuilding  intriguing drama showcase for the talented director and star  this is a road block he could have easily dismissed  i furrow my brow                              
pos	those of you who frequently read my reviews are not likely to be surprised by the fact that i have not read victor hugos novel les miserables  i dont know if a lot of people have  though i imagine many are familiar with the popular musical based on the novel  i havent even seen that  going into this film  i had almost no knowledge of the story or its characters  i even expected the film to be a musical   walking away from it  im kind of glad i had no prior experience with the material  writerdirector bille augusts film version is a straightforward  beautifully told film  liam neeson stars as the miserable jean valjean  in the beginning  he has just been released from a 19year prison sentence  he is allowed to stay in a convent by a kindly priest despite his rude and destructive behavior  the priests words of wisdom influence him  and he makes a vow to change himself  nine years later  we are informed that he is now the mayor of a town called vigo  nobody knows his real name  and that he is wanted for skipping his parole nine years ago  conflicts arise when inspector javert  geoffrey rush  is assigned to vigo  valjean remembers javert as one of the prison guards who constantly beat him  and javert remembers jean to be a convict  javert is hellbent on upholding the law  and he does everything in his power to bring jean to justice  along the way  valjean meets and falls in love with a peasant woman  fantine  uma thurman   and vows to take care of her daughter  cosette  played later by claire danes   les miserables is visually a solid and often striking picture  the production design by anna asp is authentic and vast  and the sets dont look like sets  they look like real towns and villages   gabriella pescuccis costumes are noticeably spectacular  basil poledouris soundtrack is thick and usually wellplaced  though it does get a bit heavy at times   many scenes in the film have a memorable photographic quality  such as the climax  which takes place next to a dark river in the grey obscurity of early evening  augusts keeps the story simple  which i hear is a good thing  since the novel is so complex  and easy to follow  he manages to develop the main characters and most of the subplots adequately  i was also impressed that he didnt go overboard with flash and style  which is something so many directors seem to be doing to classic stories these days  such as baz luhrmanns vicious tragedy william shakespeares romeo  juliet   this film feels solid and whole  and each scene has a certain amount of importance and vigor that keeps the audience interested  liam neeson is terrific in the main role  neeson is the kind of actor who does solemn desperation extremely well  and valjean is certainly a man who clearly fits that adjective  thurman  in her small role  is very good  and proves that she has a lot of range and can perform in a very nonglamorous role such as this one  rush is absolutely incredible as javert  i dont remember ever feeling so strongly about a villain as i do here  he adds depth and complexity with subtle glances and nuances  and effortlessly makes each of his scenes intense  i cant be as charitable for danes  however  though i know she is a talented actress  here she tends to overact when it might have been better to underplay the character a bit  les miserables is  as ive said  a solid  intelligent motion picture  my only complaint is that it feels a bit too easy  and perhaps too staged  each scene is grand and huge  and exploding with poledouris score  but i didnt always want them to be  for the most part  les miserables is not a subtle or deep picture  its a good movie  and tells its story well  but august tends to handfeed us themes and scenes that would have worked better had they been more subtle  however  in a film this exciting and wellproduced  a few minor flaws are easily overlooked  
pos	this is a stagy film adapted from roger rueffs play  hospitality suite  its about three travelling salesmen attending an industrial convention  whose chicago company has sent them to wichita  where the company has paid all their expenses for them to rent a hospitality suite on the 16th floor of the hotel  where they aim to score a substantial account from the big kahuna  someone named dick fuller  who is the head of a big industrial corporation  he is someone they have never met before  but they want to sell him industrial lubricants and they want desperately to land this new account  it is their only reason for coming to the convention   the big kahuna  revels in salesmentalk among the three white christian males  two of them  larry  spacey  and phil  devito   who are veteran salesmen  having teamed together for the last twelve years  while bob  facinelli  is a young man who has just recently been hired by the firm and works in the research department  these three are virtually imprisoned in their small hospitality suite waiting to meet the big kahuna  as the focus of this claustrophobic film is on their interactions in the hospitality suite  the three salesmen have different things on their mind that is troubling them and a different attitude to their job  and they are each going through internal changes that are profoundly altering their life  the outstanding cast tries to figure out in their own way what they are doing and why  what comes into question is their opinions on life and death  on god and morality  and on how they make a living  these are tough questions and the truth seems to be somewhere in their sales pitch  their dialogue is acerbic  witty  and analytical  following in the long tradition of salesmen films  from death of a salesman  the tin men  and glengarry glen ross  as this film tries to get you to see what there is about salesmanship that gets these men high  in this case  it is landing the big kahuna  they each are trying to see why hes on top and why they are chasing after him  what makes this film different than the others  is its blatant religious message  comparing orthodox religion to what they do  as both must sell their product  and how after each ones psyche is stripped clean by the other  there is a pause and some lesson about life has sunk in that is pertinent to each  the goal in the movie is not in literally landing the big kahuna  but in finding out what bill of goods they sold themselves that made them be salesmen  larry and phil have one way of doing things and have no qualms of incorporating a sales pitch as part of their life  bob thinks he is above the fray and he pitches every chance he can get about his belief in jesus christ  his vacuous character and smug outlook on life are covered by a disarming smile and an eagerness for him to prove in his actions the words of jesus he literally believes in  bob is a baptist  who takes a very nonquestioning and literal attitude about religion  to just look at another woman and lust after her is a sin  according to the way he reads the bible  when asked by larry why he married his wife  he seems puzzled and cant even say because he loves her  only that marriage is something sacred to him  the contrast in their personalities is stark  larry is all business  he simply wants to close the sale  he comes into the room pumped for the convention  using his attack mode to establish how serious he is about being a salesman  he criticizes phil for being so placid  for getting such a small suite  for having the cheap food tray of carrot sticks rather than the one of stuffed shrimp  and for being burnedout  he tells him to go on a vacation  get a woman  while phil is reflective on where all his best years have gone for him and is contemplating a career change  now that he is 52 and is painfully divorcing his wife  after having lived too lonely a life on the road for too long  he now finds himself suffering from some troubling dreams and questioning what he believes in  he has always been a charmer  shaking everyones hand  trying to please his clients while trying to make the sale  larry is more aggressive as a salesman  he is always a heart attack away from every big sale  in contrast  bob is only in his twenties and everything seems fresh to him  this is his first time for him on the road  when dick fuller doesnt arrive at the party the salesmen throw  larry becomes confrontational and asks phil if he spoke to the man himself about the gathering  when told that he spoke to the secretary  larry throws a tantrum and is resigned to going back to their home office without the new account  but when they start talking to bob  whom they forced to act as the bartender  they are surprised to learn that fuller did indeed come but was wearing another mans name tag and that bob spent the entire evening consoling the tycoon over his recently deceased dog and then talking to him about jesus  bob then tells the boys about a private party fuller is attending afterwards  and that he invited bob to attend  larry and phil cant fathom how bob didnt make a sales pitch  but they soon take another tact and decide to prep bob on how to get fullers attention about their companys product as they sent him off to meet fuller  and will await his return in the hotel room  these two sharp salesmen are reduced to waiting for this smug kid to come back and tell them he saved their ass  the irony of their situation is played out in the darkness of the hotel room  as they stay up late into the night trying to make sense out of their lives  these three performers were outstanding  each understanding what their role called for  each coming through with a marvelous performance  the only problem with the film  is that its more of a play than a cinematic experience  but the insightful dialogue and refreshing dramatics  give it an intelligent selling point and make it a good product to see  
pos	the coen brothers are back again  this time with homers  odyssey  as the backdrop in their tale of three fugitives from a mississippi chain gang who trek across the south to find a secret treasure in  o brother  where art thou   right for the beginning of  o brother  the coens grab your attention with a chain gang of prison inmates breaking rocks along the road in unison to a work song  the camera flows around the hard toiling men  giving a visually exciting symmetry to the scene that ends with our three heroes  ulysses everett mcgill  george clooney   delmar  tim blake nelson  and pete  john turturro   escaping across a cotton field  it is the beginning of a journey that takes on different meanings and urgencies to each member of the trio  a strong suite  as always with the coen brothers  is the depth of character of the folks they create in their films  their characters are goofy and comical  like nicolas cage in  raising arizona   or  dramatic  as albert finney and john turturro in  millers crossing   and  even a mix of the two with frances mcdormand in  fargo   in all cases  and in  o brother   too  the characters populating their films are threedimensional people  ulysses everett is a handsome  hairobsessed petty criminal with a silver tongue and not a lot in the brains department  but  he seems like a genius when compared to the simple  sweet delmar and the maladjusted pete  who follow their self appointed leader to a promised treasure of 1  2 million  their odyssey takes on the mystical proportions of homers original material as they meet all manner of people along the way  including those dangerous sirens who beckon them onto symbolically rocky shoals and a cyclops who beats them and takes all their money  there is magic  too  when delmar believes that pete was turned into a horny toad by the sirens  the story meanders through the different vignettes of the boys adventures  giving the flick a choppy  episodic feel that disrupts the overall flow  some of the interludes are an epiphany  though  the trio becomes a quartet when they pick up guitarplaying tommy johnson  chris thomas king  and visit a radio station in the middle of nowhere  run by its blind owner  stephen root   they become the soggy bottom boys for the sightless radio station man and  without their knowledge  are recorded as they sing the traditional tune   i am a man of constant sorrow   it is a wonderful moment of moviemaking and gives us  in my mind  the best movie song of the year  contrasting this and other wonderful moments  the sexy seduction by the sirens comes to mind  are some pretentious bits that detract from the overall quality of  o brother   in particular  near the end  is a scene where ulysses  delmar and pete crash a ku klux klan rally to save tommy from being lynched  the scene is overblown and flashy and reeks of  the wizard of oz   they dont say  lions and tigers and bears  oh my   and theres no dorothy  but it is the land of oz were seeing here  the highs and lows of the story flow are tempered by fine acting on several levels  george clooney is funny  charming  a little dumb and one of the handsomest actors in the business today  he has the charm of a 30s movie idol and is able to put himself into silly situations with dignity  ulysses has an ongoing obsession with his hair  risking life and limb to get a particular brand of pomade and a supply of hairnets  his vanity will come to plague him as it would any mystical herowanderer  while clooney is the name draw for  o brother   the show stealer is tim blake nelson as delmar  the heretofore unknown nelson is terrific as the simple convict who  at one point  hears the word of the lord and joins members of a church congregation in their mass baptism  delmar is saved and dedicates his life to doing good and provides a richness to his simple character that makes him shine  the taciturn pete  as played by longtime coen collaborator turturro  is the sullen member of the trio and gives them the necessary angst  all together  the tuneful triumvirate is a mix of the three stooges and the three musketeers as they prove to be buffoons  albeit brave ones  the colorful supporting cast is rampant with homerian characters to meet and get to know along the way of the boys odyssey  charles durning appears as incumbent governor pappy odaniel  who keeps crossing paths with them in his bid for reelection  john goodman is wicked as the oneeyed bible salesman and con artist  big dan teague  michael badalucco is manic and outrageous as outlaw and bank robber extraordinary  george  babyface  nelson  stephen root is amusing as the blind dj  reping one of the many references to the sightless that abound in the film in mystical ways  holly hunter is wasted in the small role as ulysses estranged wife  penny  and the real reason for this adventure  not secret treasure   techs are  as expected in a coen brothers venture  first class  cinematographer roger deakins  who has worked on five previous coen films  captures the sultry atmosphere of the south  the photography complements the lush period production and costume provided by dennis gassner and mary zophres  respectively  once again  roderick jaynes  the alter ego of ethan and joel coen  is on board as editor  the high points outweigh the low through most of  o brother  where art thou   with particular praise for the wonderful selection of period and traditional music  i give it a b  
pos	contact  pg  theres a moment late in robert zemeckiss contact where i was reminded of why i started writing movie reviews in the first place  we see a scientist  dressed in a silvery space suit  walking tentatively across a narrow walkway leading inside a compact  spherical space pod  unaware of what awaits when the ball literally drops  anticipation  excitement  anxiety  fearthe audience experiences it all the emotional tension right with the character  nervously  breathlessly eager to see what lies ahead  it is this sense of discovery  the anticipation of which and its accompanying exhilaration  that makes this adaptation of the carl sagan novel such magical  captivating entertainment  jodie foster stars as dr  ellie arroway  a brilliant astronomer who dedicates her entire life to searching outer space for extraterrestrial radio signals  and i mean lifeafter losing her entire family when she was young  the only thing occupying ellies world is this quest to discover life beyond this earth  after dealing with much skepticism on the part of government officials and wealthy financiers  ellie receives her vindication when she stumbles upon an incoming radio transmission from the distant star vega  which includes instructions on building an interstellar transport  from this synopsis  contact does not sound too different to most films about alien contact  but there is a whole lot more to this intelligent film than the scifi hook  the alien contact angle generates a great amount of suspense and awe  but perhaps more than anything else  contact is a character study of ellie  whose obsession with empirical  scientific evidence has erased all belief in a higher power  the irony is that  while admitting to having no religious faith  she holds onto her belief in extraterrestrial life with such passion and conviction that it becomes  in a sense  a religion in its own right  it would be easy for scripters james v  hart and michael goldenberg  in trying to paint a positive image of the heroine  to champion her scientific beliefs over religious ones  but they wisely eschew easy answers  giving equal time to both sides  and in so doing depict ellie as not completely sane  in the end  there is no right or wrong  nor is there one side that comes off more positive in the other  even slightly sothere are just two very viable points of view  each with their own merits  each with their own faults  the complex role of ellie is an actresss dream  and foster  a virtual shooin for yet another best actress oscar nomination next year  more than rises to the challenge  she conveys intelligence  determination  warmth  and  in a gutsy move  always on edge  we root for ellie and feel for her  but we also feel at times that she goes too far  contact is clearly fosters vehicle  but others are given their chance to shine in smaller roles  matthew mcconaughey  who receives outrageously high billing for his smallish role  holds his own as the religious counterpoint to ellie  spiritual scholar and government adviser palmer joss  however  his main storyline  the tentative palmerellie romance  is the films weakest subplot   john hurt is effectively creepy as s  r  hadden  the wealthy eccentric who provides ellie with her research funding  angela bassett continues to impress in her bit role as white house aide rachel constantine  most memorable of all  though  are tom skerritt and james woods  who play rival scientist dr  david drumlin and national security adviser michael litz  respectively  both  especially skerritt  embody these asshole characters that the audience hissed just about every single one of their appearances  zemeckis comes off of his threeyear break in top shape  always known as a director of effectsladen extravaganzas  it comes as no surprise that contacts visual effects are quite stunning  the central space journey is more than a little reminiscent of the close of 2001  a space odyssey  but with more advanced technology at his disposal  zemeckiss voyage is even trippier than stanley kubricks yet more wondrously pure  and zemeckis doesnt resist the urge to use the alwaysinteresting incorporateactorsintoexistingfilmfootage effect  which is every bit as seamless here as it was in forrest gump  effects  however  are confined to only a few scenes and clearly take a back seat to the drama  emotion  and pure wonder  which zemeckis proved to be quite adept at in gump  it says a lot that  in a summer science fiction film such as this  its not so much the effects that stay with you as it is the drama and the issues that are raised  the thoughtprovoking  twohourplus contact is a muchwelcome change of pace from summer nobrainers  but the fact that it is a smart film does not mean that it also isnt entertaining  for all the interesting questions it asks  the film is still what its being sold as  a journey to the heart of the universe   and what a fascinating  unforgettable journey it is  
pos	satirical films usually fall into one of two categories  1  longterm satire where everything  including the jokes  is somehow related on a large scale  i  e   dr  strangelove   2  situation satire in which the comedy and themes are derived moment by moment and scene by scene  i  e   men in black    whats unique about  wag the dog  is that it doesnt necessarily fit either of these descriptions  and yet is both at the same time  the result is a clever comedy based on an original  smart premise  even if the focus does tend to wander a bit  if theres anything that affects americans the most its politics and showbusiness  in this age of information and technology  weve been so conditioned by the media and the entertainment industry in our ways of perceiving things  its gotten to the point that we are practically controlled by it  we need the media to bring us the most uptodate news  but we also need the escapism of hollywood to counter all that thinking  this film starts off well by quickly establishing these ideas  and then presents an interesting scenario  if politics  the media coverage of politics  and the entertainment industry are so closely related  couldnt someone with the power and authority to manipulate one of the aspects manipulate them all  thats the idea conrad brean  de niro   a professional washington spin doctor  comes up with in order to restore the presidents good name who has been accused of child molestation just weeks before the election  brean  along with the presidents top advisor  winifred ames  heche   fly to california to meet up with hotshot movie producer stanley motss  hoffman   they pitch him an idea to  produce  the image of a war with albania  its a country no ones heard of so they people will buy it   soon the wheels are in motion and the films riffing satire comes into play  were inundated with the hollywood mind set as motss brings in a number of experts to help manage the situation  such as a folk singer  visual and sound effects technicians  and a modern style expert known as the fad king  leary   the initial atmosphere is rich with numerous pop culture references where everything somehow relates to something on tv  in the movies  or in the news  the characters dialogue is witty and funny  although some of the actual jokes and gags seem rather sitcomesque  for example  one scene shows motss and breans production crew filming an actress portraying a poor albanian refugee  motss ordered a kitten for the girl to carry  but instead wound up with a dozen different dogs  since its all computerenhanced anyway  she ends up cradling a bag of tostitos with the kitten to be inserted later  this demonstrates the films ability to take a relatively ordinary situation and make it smart and funny just through the premise  but then theres the gags and oneliners that  although are humorous  seem a little gratuitious in the long run such as motss not being able to remember the actresss name  or  whenever a problem emerges  always responding with   this is nothing   by the time the film makes it to the midpoint  everything that is going to happen in terms of plot happens  the first act is quickly paced  while the second act contains most of the jokes and is the core of the film  every ten minutes or so a new problem crops up that motss and brean must deal with  and its always fascinating to see what they do and how they do it  the screenplay provides good characterization and actually deals with most of the problems headon in realistic manners  however  it does have a tendency to avoid things and shift its focus from the election campaign and false war smokescreen to something a bit off the subject  as the third act rolls around the satirical nature becomes more concerned with the situations and less so with the big picture  what had started off as a brilliant  somewhat harmless conspiracy to fool the general public begins to seem more like something that would happen in a movie  still  the situation comedy is quite funny  especially a montage showing the entire country flinging old shoes into trees to honor sgt  willie schumann  a war hero motss and brean concocted  truly great satire manages to create for an entertaining story that makes you laugh at the time  but think about afterwards and  wag the dog  at least succeeds in this respect  however  in retrospect it seems like so much more could have been done  namely by extending the running time and filling in the plot holes  then again  its a valiant effort  
pos	after sixteen years francis ford copolla has again returned to his favorite project  making the third installment in the godfathertrilogy  this new film has been underrated for no reason  it is as intellectual and majestically made as copollas pervious films  it is also more psychological  pessimistic and more tragic than the first two  the only regret is the unconvincing performance by the newcomer sofia copolla and some  unfinished  developments of some characters  the film elegantly begins with nino rotas recognizable musical score  the beautiful skyscrapers of new york and michaels voice as he is writing a letter to his children   the only wealth in this world is children  more than all money and power on earth  you are my treasure   the year is 1979 and michael corleone has used the time since the ending of  part ii  to make his fathers dream come true  making the corleone family legitimate  michael sold all his casinos and invests only in gambling  constantly haunted by the past  his only reason to live is his children  the family has amassed unimaginable wealth  and as the film opens michael corleone  al pacino  is being invested with a great honor by the church  later that day  at a reception  his daughter announces a corleone family gift to the church and the charities of sicily   a check in the amount of 100 million   but the corleones are about to find  as others have throughout history  that you cannot buy forgiveness  sure  you can do business with evil men inside the church  for all men are fallible and capable of sin  but god does not take payoffs  the plot of the movie  concocted by coppola and mario puzo in a screenplay inspired by headlines  brings the corleone family into the inner circles of corruption in the vatican  there is a moment in  godfather iii  where michael says   all my life i have been trying to go up in society  where everything was legal  but the higher i go  the crookier it becomes     visually this film is as spectacular as the first two  gordon willis rich cinematography  carmine copollas beautiful composition and alex tavoularis wonderful art direction could not be better  but copollas first two godfatherfilms were more famous for their deep  intellectual plots  tree dimensional characters and incredible acting  than for their visual perfection  the third installment has only the plot and visuals  some characters could be much more developed and the acting  although good  never accomplishes to reach the same height of the first two films  the biggest miscasting is sofia copolla  who is so unconvincing and unemotional that she manages to ruin several scenes throughout the movie  that could have been grander and more emotional  the best performance comes unsurprisingly from al pacino  who should have got a nomination for best actor at the oscars  andy garcia is powerful as sonnys son  strong  focused and loyal  violence is natural to him  he suffers no pangs of conscience when he takes revenge on his familys behalf  and in this he is supposed to be strong in the uncomplicated way don vito corleone was  however both kay  diane keaton  and connie  talia shire  are useless  and characters like vito corleone and tom hagen are really missed  the good part is that michael is again reunited with old friends  that you remember from the first and second films  in the third film michael has become almost like his father  vito in the first film and vincenzo resembles michael when he was much younger  this parallel could be more interesting if vincenzos character was more developed  many have pointed out that making the third film  was unnecessary  i disagree  it is a beautiful film of great importance  completing the tragic saga of the corleone family  the first film showed some horrible results of corleones life  it showed michael making a choice  the second showed a man damning himself for his choices and feeling the impact of changing times  a man desperately trying to keep his balance  focus  family and sanity  while everything is crashing all around him  the third film is a terrifying conclusion  a result of michaels life  the life he chose for himself is like quicksand  one wrong step and you are doomed  there is no turning back  and no matter how hard you try to get out of it  to free yourself  no matter how powerful and wealthy you are  you are helpless  sinking deeper and deeper till it swallows you completely  the beautifully directed last sequence is also the powerful climax of the film  when michael is sitting alone in his chair  left by everyone  surrounded by emptiness and memories of his friends and family members long dead  here he dies  alone  miserable and unforgiven 
pos	bruce willis is a typecasted actor  in die hard  he played john mcclaine  a rough and tough chicago cop who gets caught in the wrong place at the wrong time  again  in pulp fiction  as butch coolidge  an overthehill boxer  he steps on the wrong guys toes  in luc bessons the fifth element  willis plays korben dallas  a new york cabby who takes in the wrong passenger at the worst possible time  a stylish science fiction epic  the fifth elements complex plot begins right away  in the deserts of egypt  think stargate  in 1914  an enormous spacecraft lands above a pyramid where the  5 elements  are stored and takes them away  vowing to return them when the evil comes back  cut to present day  which is our future  the year is 2023  and new york is the city  the only basic differences between bessons futuristic depiction and the real life new york is that the smog is thicker  the buildings are higher  and the traffic floats  anyway  the  evil  comes back as a ball of fire to wreak havoc on the fair citizens of the earth  so back come the tortoiselike aliens to return the  5 elements  to earth  in order to defend themselves against the  evil   in the process  however  the ship is intercepted by 2 fighter pods and is destroyed before landing  when officials arrive at the site  all that remains is a hand  what can you do with a hand  hey  its the 21st century heredna reconstruction  this hand turns out to belong to a beautiful  but mysterious woman named leeloo  milla jovovich  dazed and confused   she escapes and  attempting to escape the police by swan diving off of an enormous skyscraper and crashing through the roof of korbens floating cab  its love at first site  as korben and leeloo elude the lazyasalways cops  when leeloo begins mumbling about a cornelius  ian holm  night falls on manhattan   korben searches the  yellow pages  and delivers her to the door of the good reverend  the only man who knows of her background and duties  now  korben  leeloo  and cornelius must journey to a foreign planet to board a cruise ship  special effects were spectacular here  to find the remaining four elements  it is here  where they discover that they have been followed by the evil jeanbaptiste emmanuel zorg  gary oldman  murder in the first   he  too  wants possession of the elements  as do a group of piglike warriors  think the gamorreans in return of the jedi   in a spectacular ending  with time running out  leeloo is faced with a problemwhy should she save a people who live to destroy each other  the question is a good one  and one that could be pondered  but enough of that  when korben points out his love for her  leeloo is inclined to become the  5th element  and save the world from total destruction  the fifth element features good performances by willis and holm  an excellent portrayal of a comedic villain  who reminded me a lot of jack nicholsons the joker in batman  by one of the masters of villainy  oldman  and a heartfelt offering by relative newcomer jovovich  the supporting cast  which includes brion james  tango  cash   tim  tiny  lester  no holds barred   luke perry  buffy the vampire slayer   and chris tucker  friday   added a comedic effect to the film  although bessons the fifth element can be criticized for the outlandish use of cliches  it is a solid motion picture with a definite point  some other directors  like anacondas luis llosa  should take a lesson from this guyusing ideas from epic motion pictures the right way  ideas from star wars and stargate were utilized for the improvement of this film  scifi fan or not  any movielover should see this wonderfully stylish motion picture   
pos	there must be some unwritten rule that states  one gets enlightenment not in the way one expects to get enlightenment but in the commitment given to seeking wisdom  even if it is a foolish road one is on and it seems to be leading nowhere  in the exotic morocco of 1972  a 25yearold english hippie mother  julia  winslet   of two sweet young girls  the 6yearold lucy  carrie  and the 8yearold bea  bella   has arrived for a years stay  with the selfabsorbed mother oblivious to how her daughters might be adjusting to this foreign experience while she is searching for a change of life from her unfaithful poet husband  she is not officially married to him  and her cold oneroom london flat  and is sort of looking for the eternal truth in the sunny climate of marrakech  at least she says she is  as she is making some attempt to contact a sufi sheikh there who has all the answers  she has not planned things out too carefully  having no money  and the trip doesnt seem like its much fun  more like a misadventure  with some romance with a local moroccan thrown in  drugs  a worldwide youthful phenomena during this period  where many westerners came to morocco to smoke the good hashish found there and to live the good life cheaply  and to be in a spot where they did not have to worry about being hassled by the local authorities  even though drugs are illegal there  but this is not shown as one of her reasons for being here  in this film  the subject of drugs is never broached  only hinted at in an offhanded but slurring way  as the hippie commune is shown in a negative light  strumming on their guitars and bragging about the hits of acid they have taken  even the ones coming here for spiritual reasons  to follow the mystical sufis  seem lost following a culture that is far different from where they were coming from  the film is based on the novel that contained the autobiographical experiences of sigmund freuds granddaughter  esther freud  who traveled here in the 1960s with her mother and sister  it is written by the directors brother  who has previously directed regeneration  the playboys  and trojan eddie  the title of the film comes from the squealing giggles that saying hideous kinky gives the little girls  with julia strapped for cash and not receiving a needed check her husband often forgets to send her  she is prevented from seeing the greatest living sufi who is located in algeria  so instead  she meets an acrobat street performer in the bazaar  bilal  said taghmaoui   he becomes her lover  taking the place of her husband as a father figure for the girls  the girls readily accept him  and there is no bigtodo made about their openly sexual relationship  but the girls really dont know what to make of the relationship  it especially bothers bea  who is embarrassed by her mothers loose attitude and wants to go home  things go surprisingly sour when bilal takes them to stay in his small village  it seems only that bilals charm is matched by his shiftlessness  as he has a wife who still lives there  this scene didnt make too much sense as to why he would take them there knowing the situation  unless the uneducated man was totally uneducated in the customs of his people  also  but i doubt that  the family is now stuck without money in a backward area trying to decide what to do next  as they hitch a ride away from there with a truck driver who nearly kills them when he falls asleep by the wheel  lucy takes it all in stride and has a good disposition for travel  while bea just wants to go to a school and learn something and be a normal girl  the beauty of marrakech is matched by the terrific performance of kate winslet  as the film accurately encapsulates the timeless city and its bustling street scenes  expansive views  illustrious mosques  and grand sunsets  kate enacts the feel of what it was like to be a westerner  living out the countercultural experiences while awaiting to gather her sensibilities again and was fortunate enough to be able to go home the better off for her experiences  as many a dropout reluctantly had to do after their stay ran out of money and purpose  the background music from groups like america and jefferson airplane  provided further nostalgia for this easy to look at and easy to grasp film  the only hope was that the two innocent girls would not be permanently harmed while on this sojourn  a venture that should be reserved only for those of college age or older who choose to go there for themselves  the familys travel  which is on the edge  has julia waking up screaming from dreams that are bleakly haunting  but  when she gets up  all there is  is this splendid emptiness all around her and a vacuous life that is starting to bother her  that marrakech is disarmingly gorgeous and that london is old hat to her  is starting to wear thin in her thoughts  it will dawn on her  when bea takes ill  as she reflects on what the sufi guru tells her  whom she finally meets and is driven to tears in his presence  he is the guru who replaced the one she wanted to see but who died before she got a chance to see him  the new guru is grounded in reality  something she is not grounded in  and seems to tell her what she couldnt comprehend from anyone else  even comforting her  by telling her that her tears are memories a gift from god  the films weakness was the empty feeling i got from watching the story unfold in its risk free tenor  she was there basically to be just escaping from her situation  and how unappealing the love affair seemed between bilal and julia  the storyline about a helpless single parent  detracted from the vibrant experiences many others of her same babyboom generation had during their trip to morocco  who were taken in by the mystical culture of sufism  a teaching that has a lot to offer its followers  contrary to the impression the film might give  seemed to pass her by  her knowledge of that trip is only surface deep  at best  she perhaps would have been better off not taking the kids along  smoking some hashish  and have been less assured of herself but to have behaved more like a hippie and she wouldnt have been so uptight all the time and had some fun on her journey  after all  the mystical trip is the journey  the films strength is in how all the characters are shown for what they are  and no one is that good or that bad  or judged too harshly for their shortcomings  bilal is unreliable but is capable of generosity  the little girls are precocious but they are lovable  julia  the cornerstone the film is built on  is a mother who cares about the children but doesnt know how to take care of them without unintentionally harming them  she was trying to escape from reality and that by returning to london  she has another chance to see if she can find the key to this world or whatever world she is looking for and should no longer have nightmares about where shes at  this is a very freudian way to look at things  as this sudden realization  that things are not right puts an an end to her eastern hippie odyssey  at least  for the time being  and  after all is said and done  whos to say if the children are also not better off for surviving their experiences  just like she probably was  
pos	did claus von bulow try to kill his wife sunny in their newport mansion  that is the question reversal of fortune asks you to consider as it opens in a hospital ward  with a comatose sunny von bulow  she is the main narrator of the film  in a narrative trick that was extraordinarily risky for schroeder  the dramatic trick works  as sunny von bulow narrates a compelling story of murder  sex  unhappiness  and a lawyers moral dilemma as he takes a case he thinks he cannot win  jeremy irons is claus von bulow  in what is his finest role  and one of the most devastingly evil performances in history  he is as hated as any man alive  as cold as a cucumber  his remorse for his wifes comatose condition is nonexistant  and it is no wonder that even his children have difficulty accepting his version of what happened during christmas  1980  the background to the case is such  during christmas of 1979  sunny von bulow fell into a deep coma from which she recovered and awoke  the same situation occured in 1980  only sunny never woke  and probably never will  when examined  it was found that she had 14 times the normal amount of insulin within her blood  claus von bulow is then accused of attempted murder by his stepson  convicted  and freed on bail  he immediately hires alan dershowitz  the renowed harvard law professor  to acquit him  ron silver is magnificent as a moral lawyer who cannot stand what has happened to him  we follow him through two very different cases  the case of the johnson case  where two innocent kids are standing on death row for a crime they didnt commit  and von bulow  who he still hasnt figured out  dershowitz doesnt know what happened to sunny  and he is extremely hesitant to take the case  nevertheless  he does  based on certain things which happen during the investigative process that deeply upset him  together with a group of law students  dershowitz concocts a defense and ultimately get the verdict reversed  silvers performance is one of a handful of solid roles in this deep film  schroeder directs on many different levels  with multiple plot lines which blend in wonderfully in the mind of alan dershowitz  there are flaws  at times  the film gets overly theatrical  yet  due to glenn closes troubled and brutally honest performance as sunny von bulow  the use of her comatose body as a narrator works here fairly well  the flashbacks are good  but at times schroeder doesnt fill in the blanks  the movie could have benefited with the increased attention of certain developments during the film  and it could have used a better ending  the film progressed wonderfully before ending suddenly  without any intelligent conclusion  the supporting characters are often neglected  and dershowitzs team should have been allowed to grow character wise  but schroeder oversimplifies the story and the characters  yet  for all these flaws  the film is deeply engrossing because of irons  as von bulow  he is brutally evil  antisemitic  prejudiced  arrogant  protective  he is a rotten  lying monster  whose conviction may have been wrong legally  but morally he was to blame  irons plays him to a cold perfection  with pathetic attempts to gain moral support for his claims to innocence  he is an adulterous liar and a cheat who in all likelihood committed the murder  however  the genius of reversal of fortune comes in its distinction between moral culpability and legal responsibility  there is no doubt von bulow is responsible for his wifes death by years of neglect and coldness  however  legally  did he do the murder  schroeder dares the viewer to make up his own mind  with all the character flaws  reversal of fortune is an engrossing puzzle because it is intelligent  he wants the viewer to make up his own mind  schroeder taunts the viewer with contradictory revelations  and then mentions that the answer to this compelling puzzle shall be revealed when we join sunny von bulow  in death  for all the failed dramatic theatrics  this is one that works beautifully  we dont know what happened  that sense of legal ambiguousness  along with von bulows obvious moral guilt  is why reversalf fortune works  in the end  von bulow is as sadistic as ever  irons is haunting  and that is why reversal of fortune is so good  
pos	driving miss daisy takes its sweet time to tell a small  intimate story  its a quiet film  a slow film  a deliberate film  but if youre patient with it  the movie offers innumerable rewards  such as a pair of selfassured performances by morgan freeman and jessica tandy  driving miss daisy is based on alfred uhrys pulitzerprize winning play of the same name  which first opened in new york four years ago  the play has garnered international acclaim with productions in chicago  los angeles  london  vienna  norway  and the soviet union  uhry himself wrote the screenplay for the film adaptation of driving miss daisy  he also penned the wonderful sleeper  mystic pizza  the film  like the play  is set in atlanta  georgia  and it revolves around two people in their twilight years  a cranky  70something jewish widow who feels guilty about her wealth and a 60something black man who becomes her chauffeur  the movie relies on character  rather than plot  to propel the action  in fact  the movie has no discernible plot in the traditional sense  it doesnt present a linear story in which all the scenes flow together  rather  driving miss daisy is made up of the routine activities of everyday life  shopping  listening to the radio  visiting the cemetery  eating fried chicken  and so on  the film also incorporates into the story line actual events in atlantas history  including the 1958 bombing of the temple  the citys oldest jewish congregation  and a 1965 ceremony honoring the reverend dr  martin luther king  jr  the story begins in 1948 with daisy  tandy  crashing and wrecking her packard as she pulls out of her driveway  the insurance company cancels her insurance  and her son  boolie  decides to hire her a chauffeur  freeman  reprising his role from the play  plays the chauffeur  hoke  the film chronicles the warm friendship that slowly but surely blossoms between the chauffeur and his reluctant passenger  driving miss daisy is a movie about human nature  aging  prejudice  and a great many other things  but more than anything its about a relationship  one that spans 25 years  4 cars  the advent of civil rights  and one gravely important 33 cent can of salmon  daisy is strongwilled and set in her ways  and  from the outset  she is utterly opposed to the idea of having a chauffeur  initially  she treats hoke with contempt  refusing to let him drive her anywhere  once she does get in the car  daisy is the ultimate backseat driver  to make matters worse  she is extremely selfconscious about what others might think if they were to see her being escorted around town by a hired hand  eventually  however  daisy is worn down by hokes goodnatured charm and infectious cheer  she softens and opens up to him  tandy plays the part of daisy exceedingly well  but unfortunately this feisty  cantankerous character is just a smidgen too commonplace  weve seen this woman countless times before in other incarnations  from on golden pond to cocoon  nevertheless  tandy manages to put enough of a personal stamp on the familiar character to make it her own  freeman  as hoke  on the other hand  gives the more distinctive of the two performances  there is something profoundly moving about the way hoke maintains his pride and dignity in a society which forbids him from using public rest rooms because of his skin color  hoke is uneducated and illiterate  but freeman always suggests that there is something more to this man  an inner strength beneath the simpleton exterior  both freeman and tandy seem to be in their element  in full command of their natural charisma  they flirt with the camera and dominate scenes without overtly calling attention to themselves  they bring a light touch to their humorous banter and to the movies gentle humor  at the same time  tandy and freeman provide more than a few moments of truly poignant drama  in his first dramatic role  dan aykroyd is surprisingly chubby and unexpectedly effective as boolie  tandys loving and patient son  drama seems to agree with aykroyd  taking a break from comedy seems like a good move for the actor  especially when you consider the wretched comedies he has made recently  ghostbusters ii  the great outdoors  my stepmother is an alien   the only other significant characters in the film are daisys housekeeper  idella  marvelously played by esther rolle   good times    and boolies pretentious wife  played by patti lupone  under the direction of bruce beresford  crimes of the heart  tender mercies   driving miss daisy seems a bit stagey now and again  but fortunately  beresford never forgets hes shooting a movie  and accordingly  he offers plenty of striking cinematic touches  such as gorgeous shots of flowers  trees  and tomatoes  in adapting driving miss daisy from the stage to the screen  the filmmakers have achieved a delicate subtlety  uhry understands that what his characters do not say can be just as important as what they do say  beresford wisely exercises restraint in the films dramatic moments  the movie tugs at your heart  but it never goes for the jugular  the only sap in driving miss daisy is in the trees  
pos	when people are talking about good old times  they actually want to make some bad times look better  nice example of such behaviour is contemporary attitude of popular media towards the 1970s  for new generations  superseventies are the lost golden age of chic fashion  cult tv shows and sexual freedom unchecked by aids  for people who actually had to live in that period  it was the gloomy decade  marked by lost ideals of 1968  rampant inflation and unemployment  international terrorism  fuel crisis and loss of faith in almost anything that previous generation stood for  feelings of despair and nihilism found its reflections in many films of that era  martin scorseses taxi driver  which symbolises both the glory and despair of the seventies  is most celebrated of them all  the movies protagonist is travis bickle  robert de niro   26year old former marine who takes the job of taxi driver in new york city because he cant sleep at nights  the job gets him exposed to the dark side of apocalyptic megalopolis  and travis gradually gets alienated from the rest of world  the only bright spot in his life is betsy  cybil sheperd   attractive woman working in senator palantines presidential campaign  their date ends as humiliating fiasco because travis makes fatal mistake by inviting her to porno movie theatre  losing his only link to better side of the world  travis gradually descends into psychosis  becoming convinced that his mission in life is to battle scum on the street  he purchases a formidable arsenal of guns and begins physical preparations for the inevitable conflict  that conflict finally comes when he takes personal interest in iris  jodie foster   12year old prostitute who temporarily took refuge in his taxi  as many great movies that got cult status through the years  taxi driver became the object of many interpretations  for some critics and scholars it is an exploration of universal subjects that date back to dostoyevski  loss of moral compass in a bleak reality of dirty  overpopulated industrial cities  the story could have been set in 19th century same as in our times  for others  the movie uses raskolnikovlike figure in order to portray burning problems of 1970s america  its apparent inability to deal with the consequences of rapid social changes that occurred in previous decade  brilliant performance of robert de niro in role of a lifetime can give arguments for both sides  his travis bickle has a lot in common with most of the average viewers of today  many of us share his feelings of isolation  loneliness and outrage towards crime  drugs  prostitution and senseless street violence  his pathetic attempts to establish some kind of human connection with the people around him  sometimes in most unusual circumstances  like with secret service agents  pimps or job interviewers  make him a person too goofy to be the hero  and too pathetic to be the classic villain  however  most of the average viewers are sensible enough to recognise the tin line that separate concerned citizens or troubled souls from fanatical madmen  but despite anything  average viewer at the end actually cheers for travis  his crusade against  scum  is something that average person wants  but doesnt have a stomachlack of brains to do it  while de niros travis might come in and out of particular times and places  other persons that appear in the film  mostly played by the character actors  give it distinctively 1970s feel  wizzard  played by peter boyle  presents the only link with americas better past  but only because he is the oldest taxi driver in company and therefore everybody assumes that he  knows stuff   his obvious inadequacy in giving advice to troubled travis illustrates the inability of pre1960s generations to find answers to the problems of gloomy decade  other characters  on the other hand  show the bad side of new age  matthew  sport   keitel  who befriended reallife pimps in other to prepare for his role of a lifetime  is dressed like a hippie  iris found excuse for her escape to the world of drugs and child prostitution in a ideology of counterculture  porno movies  that should be the element of new times of sexual freedom  are too much even for supposedly  liberated  betsy  even the politicians  like senator palantine  are lost in postvietnam and postwatergate mess  his broad and senseless  messages  that cover the lack of any serious program cant fool even such idiots like travis  the past is gone  the present is bad  and even the future seems bleak  and the feeling of pessimism cant be washed away even by ironic happy end  travis and his world found themselves in a desperate situation  and martin scorsese uses the best of his cinematic skills in order to spill the gloom of schraders screenplay into the silver screen  new york city in the night is portrayed as a hell on earth  and the red light and steam coming out of sewers give it surreal  almost stygian atmosphere  another important element of the atmosphere is score of great bernard herrman  whose efficient use of jazz elements gives some melancholy that softens the brutality of motion picture  one of the greatest ironies of taxi driver is the fact that the movie was  same as his protagonist  famous for the wrong reason  instead of receiving cult status because of his artistic merits  for many years it was tabloidfodder because of hinckley and his reallife reenactment of events in the movie  now  more than two decades later  when some other  life imitating art  incidents get more attention  we can finally enjoy taxi driver in all its artistic glory  
pos	note  ordinarily  moviereviews  org will not give away any critical plot points of a film that could be interpreted as  spoilers   however  being that music of the heart is based on a true story and that moviereviews  org feels the film can not be properly credited without such revelations  plot giveaways will appear in the following review  if this bothers you  please note the 3 star rating of the film and stop reading now   what does it take to play carnegie hall  practice   it takes two hours for music of the heart to  play carnegie hall   both figuratively and literally  like the children it portrays  the movie starts from the dark realms of awful cinema and works its way up to a showstopping performance at the legendary concert hall  roberta guaspari  academy award winner meryl streep  has two kids  a husband who left her and 50 violins she bought from a small shop in the mediterranean  her life desperately needs a jump start and gets one when she meets a man who introduces her to a job as a music teacher at an east harlem elementary school  she soon finds her job is on the rocks as the men in her life continue to rotate through revolving doors  that is the patternlike plot of this production  ultimately  the film chooses a zerosum answer to these problems and finds her music career at an alltime high when the men in her life finally vanish  the first hour of music of the heart is rather painful  robertas character lacks development and consequently seems to be flat  also lacking depth is the films  bad guy   a narrowminded music teacher  josh pais  who rejects roberta out of principle  the movie never explains exactly which principle that is  and conveniently comes and goes from the plot according to when it might be dramatic to have a villain around  the next 15 minutes of the film are mediocre  they are highlighted by one childs return to robertas class  coming after the great old hollywood scene where he explains be cant be around anymore because  my mom said      and a glowing concert  not knowing the running time  you may expect the credits to role at this point  but they dont  instead the film uses the next 45 minutes to finish its journey from bad to mediocre to excellent  director wes craven  known for his works of horror  uses some old sentimental tricks to get the audience tearing  one romantic break up scene is highlighted by the classic  but    last night     and robertas two children also have textbook conflicts with their single mother regarding their fathers absence  the city of harlem plays a strong role in the movie  robertas mother is initially reluctant to see her daughter move to that part of town and the film does nothing to combat that stereotype  the noise tracks for these scenes are dominated by sirens  predictably one of robertas students is gunned down and killed off screen  one thing the film does lack is subtlety  the fact that a little boy was playing  we shall overcome  on his violin after the aforementioned shooting was a cute and discreet reference  the fact that the entire orchestra begins to play it over and over soon after is an overdone reference that shows how little credit he gives the audience   of course  in horror films the foreshadowing and betweentheline moments are meant to be overdone  so perhaps he too is just learning to play the game   even with all its flaws  music of the heart is a beautiful film  that is not an excuse for the movies poor beginning  but as i watched the scenes in carnegie hall  i thought of some of the great acts that have taken that stage  in december of 1979 a comedian named andy kaufman put on a show that will forever be remembered as one of the most original in theatre history  the performance included a deadon elvis impression  robin williams in disguise and a moment at the end when kaufman announced he would take the whole audience out for milk and cookies  so  how did this comic genius choose to open the show of his life  he had a character named tony clifton take the stage for the sole purpose of irritating and angering the audience  perhaps it is okay for music of the heart to start off rusty because just as kaufman had santas favorite food  this movie has an amazing finale  
pos	seen april 16  1999 at 10 p  m  at crossgates cinema 18  guilderland  n  y    theater 15  by myself for free using my hoyts critics pass  theater rating     12  very good seats  sound and picture do you realize that every time you encounter a new person youve just become part of a story  everyone has their own life story  both past and present  and every time two or more interact  they become part of each others story  not necessarily an important or even significant part  but a part nevertheless   that seems to be the basic theory behind go   where several characters chance encounters all effect each other in extreme ways  in order to test this theory screenwriter john august and director doug liman assemble a cast of characters that wouldnt usually be the types to have an entire film revolve around them  such as a teenage supermarket cashier  a bottomofthedrugfoodchain dealer and two struggling soap opera actors  these types of characters might not sound all that original  but consider that they will all be somehow effected by a strip club bouncer and his psychotic father  a midlevel drug dealer  a narc obsessed with multilevelmarketing  horny wedding guests  a zen lovemaker  two shrimpscarfers and a cute normal teenage girl to round things out  how they will all come together is the process the film deals with  id imagine the concept to the film started out as the creators testing themselves to see if they could actually pull it off and the outcome is a terrific achievement in filmmaking and the craft of fiction in general  the film starts out as anything else  with little indication of whats to come  we meet ronna  polley   a depressed los angeles checkout girl who doesnt seem to have much desire to do anything except work just to pay her rent  shes not very charming  especially to her customers  but this is played mostly for laughs rather than characterization and it works  maybe this is because shes not a very afeminite character  but shes far from masculine  a creative character indeed  things start to progress when ronna reluctantly agrees to take the hours of the goofy  hyperactive  yet likable simon  askew   an english teen into vices for the sake of the experiences  this agreement starts a threepronged storyline as it allows simon to go to las vegas for the weekend with his friends and in turn drags ronna and her friends into buying and selling an experimental drug  the process of which will not only bring ronna close to being arrested but also to death  nearly the same can be said for two other characters  zack  mohr  and adam  wolf   who we dont think much of when they first appear as supporting characters  but later will become major players to the films makeup  another process used by the filmmakers to elaborate on the theory of how significant insignificant interaction might be  once the pace is picked up the film really begins to show its mettle  when the title screen ronna is flashed shortly after the aforementioned turning point scene  its clear this film isnt going to employ the standard linear method of storytelling  considering how good it is up until that point  its a long overdue change of pace needed in movies today  and so the film begins to take shape  first by following ronna and her friends on a onenight adventure that begins with a drug deal instigated by zack and adam  who were actually looking for simon   which doesnt exactly go as planned  but thats what keeps it all so interesting  the second storyline starts at the same moment as ronnas story  but this time the camera chooses to follow simon instead  simon and his three friends head to  vegas for a night on the town and in the process experience things they never would have imagined  the third arc  about zack and adam  again overlaps with ronnas story telling much of the same story but from a completely different angle  were shown things we never would have expected were going on while following ronna  and many of the events that do happen to ronna because of zack and adam arent even their fault  they just happened to be where they were when they were  id really like to dissect each of the three storylines and especially how the film wraps up in the end  but that would take up too much time and space and spoil everything for those who havent seen the film  perhaps the greatest element to the film is its constant surprises and unpredictability  and not due to plot twists or a confusing screenplay  just through great filmmaking  still  i can list and analyze nearly everything the film does so well   direction  trying to piece together such a complex story is no easy task and for a rookie filmmaker such as liman  its a great accomplishment  he doesnt just depict a story  he wraps us up in it all  pulling us into the fray so that we experience every high and low   screenplay  besides being chiseled with detail and creative in general  its clear the script has been inspired by many sources  with both obvious and subtle references  yet it never screams ripoff    tonemood  where other hollywood films have failed to bring the charm of the independents to the mainstream  this one is able to create its own sense of the macabre  its not overlydark or twisted and the comedy isnt so satirical for it to be considered a black comedy  more like macabre light    cinematographyart direction  able to photograph both the intense and the lighthearted in the same manner   characterization  for nearly every character introduced  no matter what role they play in the big picture  were able to get a sense of who they are  what theyre thinking and how they came to be in their situations  even when their actions are surprising  it never seems very out of synch   performances  every actor nails their role  see above    themetheory  the film doesnt seem to be concerned with conveying any kind of political or social messages  instead  its more of a philosophical experiment  in fact  it might not have meant to do that intentionally  but there definitely is something existential to it all     and to think that go is just a big comedy and adventure   42399  see also  the big lebowski   clerks   jackie brown   pulp fiction   true romance   also by liman  swingers 
pos	mars attacks   1996   c  jack nicholson  glenn close  annette bening  martin short  danny devito  rod steiger  pierce brosnan  sarah jessica parker  michael j  fox  jim brown  pam grier  joe don baker  natalie portman  christina applegate  lisa marie  tom jones  this is director tim burtons finest film to date  many will compare this tale of martians who invade earth to independence day  but even though the stories are similar  they really are two distinctly different films  however as a whole  mars attacks is much more entertaining than id4  and i loved id4  you really have to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy this film  it is completely wackedout and unlike anything youve ever seen  once the silly tone of the film is set  its easy to just sit back and throw logic out the window because logic and comedy just dont mix  the plot is simple  martians invade the earth  but its different than any other invasion film  usually its the evil aliens versus the heroic humans  this time however  its the goofy aliens versus the equally goofy humans  the martians  who are all computer generated  are just about the funniest things ive seen in a long time  they look funny  they move funny  and their  language  is hilarious  and about the special effects  the effects in mars attacks  are just about the most flawless ones ive seen to date  the computer animation of the martians combined with the goofy personalities they are given makes them seem 100 real  there are just a couple of scenes that dont work  mainly those involving sarah jessica parker and pierce brosnan on board an alien ship  also  glenn close overacts tremendously in her  thankfully  very limited screen time  so much so that i actually applauded silently when her character meets her demise  but there are many big laughs in the film  as i said  if you are in the right mood  could it have been funnier  certainly  was it funny enough  yes  was i entertained  absolutely  on a personal note  id like to thank whomever cast rod steiger  my favorite actor  in the film as warcrazy general decker  finally  after many very small parts in direct to video garbage and minor tv roles  steiger is back on the big screen in a real movie that many people will see  while hes not given the type of role that you can give a real  performance  in  he does the job well and has some good lines of dialogue  the preview audience i saw the film with really seemed to enjoy him  
pos	when i was asked to see this movie with a friend  my initial reaction was  not hugh grant   i was perhaps wrong to be so harsh  but after his insidious flirtation with a street hooker  i just could not picture him in any romantic lead  what makes this movie a wonderful experience is not the fact it stars hugh  but because it stars julia and carries with it a brilliantly written script  this writer richard curtis  whose exceptional first work  four weddings and funeral shows us that he is a master in the domain of the romantic comedy  with splashes of drama thrown in between  hugh and his hair  is almost identical to the character that made him famous in  four weddings  he plays an ordinary guy who is down and out on his luck  unfortunately  he is type cast in this role  but fortunately it works well for him in this movie  if only he would dither a little less  julia knows this role well  the glamorous movie star who is searching for true love  there are moments in this movie  that you almost weep for her pain felt loneliness  how sad it must be to be so wealthy and beautiful  but to have no one to share it with  the writer deals with difficult issues of love and social class on various levels  how differences in social standing can make it almost impossible for love to grow in such a harsh environment  how the media can be as cruel as it can be attentive  and how fulfilment in life and love can be found in forgiveness and sacrifice  
pos	youd think it would be easy to spoof star trek  but try spoofing it without cruelly mocking it  thats a bit more difficult  the farfetched scifi series is  after all  enormously popular  what with its gigantic fan base and ongoing installments both on television and in movies  if youre not nice to it  you lose  galaxy quest is to star trek what mel brookss spaceballs was to star wars  an affectionate  riotously funny parody that freely takes jabs at various elements of its subject but never seems meanspirited or malintentioned   the shows been cancelled  but the journey is far from over   that is the current tagline of  galaxy quest   a star trek  type show thats no longer produced but lives on forever in reruns  it also lives on in conventions  gatherings of the shows obsessive fans who never fail to dress in  galaxy quest  costumes and ask absurdly logical questions about its delirious technobabble  jason nesmith  tim allen  played  commander peter quincy taggart  on the show and is the only one of the cast who still gets excited about the gigs they have to do  the attitudes of the rest  tommy webber  daryl mitchell  gwen demarco  sigourney weaver   fred kwan  tony shalhoub  and alexander dane  alan rickman   range from indifference to utter contempt  dane  who played a spocklike alien  is especially disgusted  considering himself above his demeaning job and stubbornly refusing to recite his characters cheesy trademark line  by grabthars hammer  you shall be avenged   or something like that  for his diehard fans  one day  nesmith is greeted by an especially fanatical group of  galaxy quest  followers  they are actually aliens from a planet known as thermia  they have mistaken the  galaxy quest  episodes for historical documentation of actual heroic space travel  the next day  the thermians whisk nesmith away to a spaceship to help them defeat the evil sarris  named  in one of the films only meanspirited gags  after village voice film critic andrew sarris   nesmith thinks it is only an elaborate gig  and sort of blows it off  but when he is transported  or i should say shot  back to earth in a rather celestial manner  he believes  next thing the cast knows  they are being dragged by nesmith to this spaceship  of course  they all think he is out of his mind and once he does convince them that there really is a spaceship  what they want to do is get out of there as fast as the transporters will take them  but after some persuading  they stay on to fight the icky sarris and find a way to provide a peaceful existance for the flailing thermians  i was quite surprised how well this comedy  which came off as utterly brainless from its marketing campaign  worked  taking shots at both the obvious and notsoobvious elements of star trek and its fandom  galaxy quest never goes for cheap laughs  opting instead for broad but smart parody  nothing is safe  not the cliches  not the fans  not the absurd taglines  but on the other hand  everything is safe  since galaxy quest treats its subject with utter respect and sometimes even subtle admiration  the highlight of the movie is tony shalhoubs fred a  k  a  tech sergeant chen who  when in character  is the complete opposite of scotty from the original star trek  while scotty  who was the technician for the enterprise would constantly yell  i need more power down here captain    chens cry for help is more to the tune of  the core  like  wont take it or something   its a hoot  but it doesnt stop there  weaver  whose character has the menial task of repeating everything the computer says and rickman  with his relentlessly holierthanthou attitude arent far behind  galaxy quest succeeds as a funny parody of star trek and while its not a masterpiece  it tends to falter in its more serious moments  it is immensely entertaining fluff and excellent counterprogramming to all the sober oscar contenders being released this holiday season  by grabthars hammer  this is a hell of a movie  
pos	in my review of theres something about mary  i said something to the effect of  laughter isnt everything   i now need to make a brief addendum to my postulate  laughter isnt everything  unless im watching a jim abrahams film  see  spoofs are easy with me  i love movies  and i love movies that make fun of movies that i love  sometimes im the only one in the theater laughing  sometimes i laugh so hard that i embarass myself because my laugh is so highpitched in comparison to my speaking voice  it cuts right through everyone elses laughter   sometimes i laugh so much that my cheekbones are sore by the end of the film  abrahams latest film  mafia   induced this kind of hysteria upon me  its gotten some mediocre reviews  but  hey  im the guy who laughs at everything  there may be a lot of jokes that flop in this film  but there are far more that work  and i laughed so frequently that the failed jokes usually occurred as i was recovering from the previous bout of giddy madness  i enjoy films like this because not one second of it is serious or thoughtprovoking  most lighweight films that pose as comedies try to do other things  like develop characters  shape stories  and other such nonsense  mafia  has no pretentions about characters or story  and it exists for no other reason than to make people laugh  the film begins on the perfect high note  with a mockery of the opening of casino  our hero  jay mohr  is seen walking from a casino and getting into his car  which subsequently explodes and sends him flying through the air against a backdrop of flowing fire  to describe the story of mafia  is absurd and pointless  but i will mention that it basically follows the framework of the godfather films  with a lot of casino references inserted throughout  along the way  the parodies seem arbitrary  and rarely victimize mob films  pictures like the english patient  forrest gump  and jaws undergo severe and hilarious bashing  movies like this rely on just a few things  but the most important element is direction  abrahams has been down this path many times before  hot shots   top secret   airplane   and any other film with an exclamation point in the title   and so i hold most of the success of mafia  to his experience  he takes just the right attitude in each scene  and manages to wring at least a bit laughter out of even the most oddly placed references  one inexplicable moment seems like it wants to make fun of titanic  but it never develops   the actors are all energetic  which helps a lot with the tone of the film  mohr  suicide kings  paulie   who is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors  is so good here  he looks like hes having so much fun that hes containing his laughter in every scene  watch his face in the sequence by the swimming pool   hes probably the only performer in the cast who manages to urge laughter without the help of the material  lloyd bridges does a decent imitation of brandos godfather  while pamela gidley is deadon in a fullblown mockery of sharon stone  the hard thing about writing reviews for comedies is that im supposed to give examples of things and be specific  unfortunately  i was so constantly blindsided by laughter during mafia  that i cant remember a lot of what made me laugh  but thats a good sign  mafia  is so funny that i wasnt even given time to apply any of the scenes to memory  i laughed so hard that it shut off my brain  i know that doesnt sound particularly complimentary  but when watching a dumb comedy like this  the first thing i want to do is shut off my brain  finally  a film that does this for me  
pos	showgirls is the second major outing for the production team of pual verhoeven  director  and joe eszterhas  writer  their last effort  basic instinct  played like the most sumptuous of classic hitchcock  with a dash of raw sex and sensuality that made it come across with a hit like curryspiced tabasco sauce  a dish not to everyones taste  but certainly a wellcrafted movie  possibly that movies greatest strength was that the most important events happened offstage  prior to the movie  during the movie  and after the movie    and that  after bringing all the plotlines together neatly  it left the viewer with full knowledge of what  would  happen in the characters future  so there was no need to film it  there was actually about four hours worth of screen story there  but eszterhas found ways to get it all onscreen in two  by leading his audience into analyzing what was really going on  and by still holding their interest with clever misdirection and false trails  the major elements that made basic instinct work so well are present in showgirls  we have attractive  sympathetic  but still highly repellent characters  we have shows for the eyes and the ears  plotlines that play on several levels  we have beautifully delineated characters who are drawn from life and very believable  and we have a story of an innocent  who may not be so innocent  whos trying to play straight  trying to improve her station in life  who slips into behaving the way those around her do    but recovers with a flourish  and quits a winner  in this sense  the movie is a bit of a departure for verhoeven  whos not known for treating his characters well  but nomi  the part played by elizabeth berkley  definitely opts out of the game in a positive way  and were left feeling good about her future  this is not one of the great movies  but its far better than wed been led to expect by all the negative prerelease publicity  verhoeven got his first oscar nomination in 1971  and in the last quartercentury has pushed farther and farther  experimenting with the sociallyacceptable limits to moviemaking  his most recent three movies  robocop  total recall  and basic instinct  have been a progression of backdoor access to american culture  moving from the fantastic through the merely psychotic to the underlying basic drives  and now hes exploring the sleeze  this movie may be the first movie ever made for which the directors contract contained a specific provision that he would not have to deliver an r rated movie   verhoeven had to cut several parts of basic instinct to get an r rating  although his original version is available on video   many reviewers have taken the politicallycorrect stance that any movie which uses naked ladies as scenery is a bad thing  but they miss the fact that this movie is not about naked ladies  its about people in an environment where naked ladies are common  and why such an environment should exist  its about the scum who use other people as powertrip toys  and the need to escape their power  its about a world where sex is nothing and normal human values dont pertain  and the lack of sexual excitement and passionate heat in even the most blatant scenes is something of an accomplishment  an nc17 movie which isnt sexually exciting says a great deal about the phoniness and emptiness of a social stratum where sex has been robbed of any kind of beauty  power  or value  the one scene in the movie that  could  have been a good sex scene  berkley and maclachlan in a swimming pool  is not exciting  because by then we already know his character is a callous manipulator  if anything  its a rape scene with a victim whos been duped into cooperation  you dont make a movie about the history of black people in america without using a few black actors  you dont make a movie about world war ii without a few guns going off and a few people getting killed  and you dont make a movie about las vegas showgirls without showing a few las vegas showgirls    and in an awful lot of vegas shows  an awful lot of ladies wear very little clothing  this is a legitimate portrayal of a rather seamy side of the entertainment industry  in a town where sex is simply a negotiable commodity  showgirls deglamorizes the las vegas show and sex industries with great effectiveness  nomi is played  in a very good performance  by elizabeth berkley  who gives us a solid picture of a woman with limited talents whos at the end of her rope  desperate to live a life better than the one shes known  she has nothing to market except her body and her limited dancing ability  and is trying desperately not to to be a hooker  trying to be something better than she seems destined to be  when nomi realizes shes gone too far for too little  she catches herself just in time to save the most essential part of who she wants to be  gina rivera plays molly  a dressmaker and costumer who befriends nomi  providing her with what may be the one solid  positive relationship in nomis entire life  molly is the one who makes the difference  and provides the role model and framework nomi needs to verify the value system shell be using for the rest of her life  and nomis feelings for molly are the spur that forces nomis decision  gina gershon plays cristal  an aging  but still very attractive starring dancer  a reflexively competitive manipulator whos become a villainess by internalizing the ethos of the crooks and scum around her  gershon plays cristal as a cross between ava gardner and raquel welch  a fading talent made bitter by selfawareness  her character is very well drawn and performed  in a major scene in a hospital room  she acknowledges what she is  and  in essence  passes the torch to nomi  the relationship between the two of them is the most honest one in the movie  and provides part of the impetus nomi needs to follow a different path  it is no accident that the three important parts in this movie are women of different stripe  molly is an honest  hardworking person who means well  and nearly dies because she confuses the glitter and the image with reality  cristal is a talented dancer whos compromised her ideals and sold herself to be a cooperating part of the system  exchanging selfrespect for the species of stardom that can be had in las vegas  nomi believes she can make it without selling herself  succumbs to a degree  and then realizes she can make it without selling herself  and doesnt need las vegas or its brand of  stardom   the male parts in this movie are simply props  they exist only to demonstrate and explicate the cultural milieu against which showgirls exist  kyle maclachlan  whose single best previous work was as an inhumanly emotionless cop in the hidden  gives us a nicely reptilian bit of pond scum on two legs  camouflaged as a nice guy  glenn plummer plays a dancer whos working as a bellboy  and provides a bit of alternate perspective  plummers character is the only one in the movie whos maintaining an interest in dance as a performing art  but even hes succumbed to the cult of manipulation  plummers character is the closest thing to a sympathetic male character in the whole movie  some of jost vacanos cinematography is fantastic  and one particular delineation of nomis character alteration  a nodialog scene using nothing but color changes in the lighting  is utterly terrifying  this movie is rated nc17 due to language  sexual situations  full frontal nudity  violence  and probably the costuming as well  i dont see a way this particular story could have been told well without it  and i regard it as a legitimate exercise in moviemaking  but dont go see it if youre not in a tough mood  the only person its possible to like in this movie ends up in an i  c  u  on life support  and there is probably not one character in this movie youd enjoy meeting in person  
pos	it has been three long years since quentin tarantino stunned the cinema world by claiming the cannes film festivals palme dor  a 100 millionplus box office gross  and an oscar nomination  all for his sophomore outing  pulp fiction  since then  the talented film maker has been virtually invisible  surfacing briefly as a codirector of the wildly uneven four rooms and the screenwriter of the gory vampirefest  from dusk till dawn  in between  he has moonlighted as an  actor  with several decidedly unmemorable performances  now  with much fanfare and anticipation  tarantino has returned with his third directorial effort  jackie brown  and  while this motion picture  adapted from elmore leonards novel  rum punch  offers solid entertainment  those expecting another bravura outing from tarantino will leave theaters disappointed  for the most part  jackie brown is a pretty ordinary crime movie  the story  which starts out slowly  develops into a twisty affair  with doublecrosses and triplecrosses  and the movie is littered with occasional tarantino trademarks  witty dialogue  unexpected gunfire  70s pop tunes  and closeups of womens bare feet  yet  for all of that  the production is something of a letdown  the sheer  inyourface exuberance that marked reservoir dogs and especially pulp fiction is absent  the mostlystraightforward chronology of jackie brown doesnt match up favorably to the nonlinear style of tarantinos previous efforts  an approach that added tension and edginess to the narratives  and there arent nearly as many deliciously offbeat conversations this time around  theres a samuel l  jackson monologue about guns  a jacksonchris tucker argument regarding the merits of hiding in a car trunk  and a jacksonrobert de niro exchange that recalls some of the jacksontravolta material from pulp fiction  but thats about it  jackie browns lone  innovation  is its presentation of a crucial sequence from three different perspectives  this isnt exactly an original technique  it has been done numerous times before  most famously in akira kurosawas rashomon and most recently in edward zwicks courage under fire  however  while in those two movies  and others   there was a legitimate plot reason for the multiple pointsof view  tarantinos sole purpose for using it appears to be because its unconventional  had the scenes in question been shown from only one of the three vantages  nothing would have been lost  as a result  this aspect of the film is little more than a curiosity  for the second picture in a row  tarantino is attempting to revive the career of a 70s icon  this time around  instead of john travolta  its blaxploitation queen pam grier  foxy brown has become jackie brown   in one of many nods to the most famous segment of griers career  tarantino uses a 70s song to accompany her first appearance during the opening credits  there are also several instances during jackie brown when the director offers a sly wink towards certain conventions of the blaxploitation genre  although grier never does any buttkicking   grier is jackie brown  a flight attendant who gets caught transporting drugs and money into the united states  shes working for gun dealer ordell robbie  samuel l  jackson   but she keeps her mouth shut under questioning  despite pressure from ray nicolet  michael keaton   a federal official  no longer sure whether or not he can trust jackie  ordell arranges for a bail bondsman  max cherry  robert forster  tvs  banyon   to post the necessary 10  000  then plans to shoot jackie if she proves disloyal  jackie passes ordells test  however  and soon the two of them are plotting a way to smuggle 500  000 of ordells money into the united states without tipping off the feds  soon  just about everyone is after that money  including jackie  max  ray  ordells perpetually oversexed and druggedout girlfriend  melanie  bridget fonda   and his righthand man  louis  robert de niro   unsurprisingly  the most memorable performance is turned in by samuel l  jackson  but ordell isnt nearly as invigorating or compelling a character as jules from pulp fiction  in addition to looking fantastic  pam grier is also quite good  although hers is not an oscar caliber performance  although she might get a nomination   robert forster and michael keaton are solid in their toughguyswhorarely smile roles  bridget fonda is around for three discernible reasons  to look sexy in a bikini  to provide a little twisted comedy  and to satisfy tarantinos foot fetish  robert de niro is criminally underused in a part that could have been played equally well by any grungy looking  middleaged actor  the film  which clocks in at several minutes over the twoanda half hour mark  is probably too long for the material  but the plot is convoluted enough to keep us guessing throughout  although the payoff is a letdown   tarantino keeps things moving along nicely  with a heavier dose of humor and less violence than in pulp fiction  but  on the whole  this movie seems more like the work of one of his wannabes than something from the director himself  when it comes to recent caper films  like the grifters and bound   jackie brown is a secondtier effort  its an entertaining diversion  but not a masterpiece  and certainly not an oscar contender  
pos	one of the biggest cliches of any serial killer film is also one of the most believable  you know  the one where the detective looks at a wall of pictures and other police information  and suddenly spots the clue which reveals who the killer is  sure  its been used over and over  but for some reason  it is always fun to watch  this cliche pretty much describes the level kiss the girls works on  overused  but always fun  one of my personal rules about watching a film is not how original the film is  but how it goes around giving its story  this rule applies highly to kiss the girls  there is something psychologically stimulating in a wellcrafted serial killer movie  and kiss the girls is certainly well made  however  the whole film screams of unoriginality  and so it relies on the power of its actors and the technical detail to pull it through  well  not only are the actors capable of pulling it through  but they add so much to the film that nearly every flaw is covered up  unfortunately  one of the most revealing and rather insulting choices by the filmmakers  one that seven  a film a lot like this one  knew not to make  was to put the name of the killer in the opening credits  that may give the actor credit for the role  but throughout the film  hidden in my mind  i was waiting for him to appear on screen  which spoiled the mystery  however  credit must be given to the director for suspending this knowledge through most of the film  plotwise  kiss the girls shows almost no originality  we are introduced to detective alex cross  morgan freeman   a forensic psychologist  and immediately we are given the cliched scene establishing him as the hero  he gets a call about a woman who has shot her husband and is now threatening to kill herself  obviously cross succeeds at getting the gun  but this scene is quickly forgotten during the next scene  at his house  cross is told that his neice  naomi  gina ravera   has been missing for four days  this provides the motivation for cross to find the killer  but we are never given a chance to establish the relationship between the two  and as a result  we cant sympathize with detective cross  however  what makes kiss the girls slightly original is the introduction of one of the abductees    before she is abducted  dr  kate mctiernan  ashley judd  the actress of the judd family  is a smart  athletic woman  and because of these traits  becomes a target for casanovawhat the serial killer likes to call himself  because of these characterdeveloping scenes  we care for mctiernan  making the abduction scene all that more suspenseful  after being abducted  mctiernan wakes up and finds herself in a cell somewhere in the woods  remembering that the killer gave her certain rules  she decides to break one of them by calling out  when casanova comes to punish her  she breaks out and escapes by jumping over a waterfall  after she is found  she begins to help cross find his neice  from this moment on  kiss the girls takes on the form of every other serial killer film  as the two leads search for the rest of the victims held captive  many people will compare this film to 1995s seven  another killer film starring morgan freeman  but i presume that the similarities are intentional  the screenplay  by david klass  is adapted from the novel written by james patterson  and yet i dont quite see how this story could have worked in novel form  what makes kiss the girls so good is the acting and the technical and visual impressiveness  the cinematography  by aaron schneider  is reminiscient of seven  and sometimes i felt that many of the shots were trying too hard to impress us  sometimes a simple shot is the best one  however  many of the shots are stunning  and unlike seven  most of them take place during the day  in sunlight  the scene when ashley judd is running through the forest is extremely well done  in more than one way  the camera work is terrific  but the editing makes this scene work so well  the chaotic and mtvtype cutting gives the audience a sense of confusion and unawareness  exactly what judds character is experiencing  however  the best aspect of kiss the girls is its actors  morgan freeman is one of todays most powerful and believable actors  detective cross is a very good character for him  although it is just a similar one to the character in seven  because of freemans powerful presence  he carries half the film by himself  the other half is carried by ashley judd  one of todays most promising dramatic actresses  in fact  her performance is better than freemans  if that is even possible  her character is more original than freemans  and she handles it wonderfully  we finally have a female character in a movie like this who does more than just scream  the supporting cast is highly underdeveloped  but the cast members do as much as they can with it  cary elwes portrays a cop in north carolina  and unfortunately has scraps for a character  tony goldwyn fairs slightly better  but we dont really get to know his character either  gina ravera gives a good performance  but again she isnt in many of the scenes  so as a result of all these small supporting parts  the weight of the film lies on the two leads  and they do a phenomenal job  some of the best acting of this genre  and some of the best acting of the year  two other essential aspects of the film are quite good  director gary fleder does a good job of controlling his actors  but the second half of the film loses believability  especially during the revelation of the killer  he also doesnt handle the suspenseful scenes as a better director would have  losing a lot of tension during many scenes  however  to his credit  he does manage a terrific first half  part of the blame falls on david klass  im sure the book developed many of the lesser characters more  but klass focuses on the two main parts  while this may give the two leads more screentime  many of the small characters are onedimensional  and the killer  when revealed  is extremely implausible  thanks to the smart dialogue adapted from the novel  kiss the girls always seems intelligent  none of the conversations are laughable  and all move the plot forward without seeming forced  one of the biggest problems i had with the movie was the motive of the killer  i blame this mainly on the casting director  because the killers motive is because of rejection from women  or so i assume from the opening monologue   but the killer himself is very attractive  one of my friends is a  shall we say  big admirer of the killer   kiss the girls is rated r for terror  violence  language  and suggested sex  with all the implausibilities of this film  and with the mediocre second half  kiss the girls somehow manages to thoroughly entertain  in fact  i had the urge to see it again just for the performances  the cinematography adds a lot of mood to the already creepy tone  and the script is usually smart  this is clearly one of those movies which rely on the acting to pull it through  morgan freeman is possibly todays most convincing actor  and ashley judd adds another notch on her acting belt  i must also say that i loved the ending  the showdown between good and evil was quite tense  and the resolution of the scene makes almost anyone cheer  perhaps it may not be possible  but most of the film isnt anyway  
pos	i was originally going to give the spanish prisoner two and half stars  from my first viewing  i noticed that david mamets film was intense and clever at times but boring and cliched at other times especially at the beginning  from my second viewing however  i noticed that mamets script was actually a masterpiece  the spanish prisoner  like the usual suspects or chinatown  begs for the viewers complete attention  miss a scene or even a small detail  and you could miss the meaning of the entire film  also like the aforementioned films  it rewards its viewer for paying attention by delivering a surprising and memorable ending  mamet is success doing again what he once tackled in 1987 when he wrote and directed house of games  like his past gem  the spanish prisoner fools the audience as much  or even more  than the victim  because we were deceived just like the victim  we feel a strong attachment to the main character and consequently are more interested in the film  mamet has the talent of not completely ending a film gift wrapped  but rather leaving some ambiguity towards the end  the power that he has in forcing the viewer to determine who the good guys and bad guys are once the film is over  without giving a right answer  is unique and ingenious  the spanish prisoner will leave you seriously puzzled and intrigued  after seeing the film again  i noticed that the details mamet uses are so incredibly accurate it is frightening  his direction is very subtle  as he leaves so many clues explaining what is going on and who is who but it is still very difficult to tell what exactly is happening even if you see all of them  or think you see all of them  the story follows a young up and coming businessman  joe ross   campbell scott  who has just created a mysterious and lucrative  process  that everyone is trying to get their hands on  soon ross does not know who he can trust or who is after his  process   through his journey ross meets a number of mysterious characters  the rich and popular jimmy dell  a secretary who has a huge crush on ross  and ross boss mr  klein  played by steve martin  rebecca pidgeon  and ben gazarra respectively  the supporting cast is very solid especially martin  who deserved an oscar nomination for his commanding and manipulative role  the most interesting character in the film  though  was campbell scotts joe ross  the characters transformation from an ingenuous and polite rookie to a paranoid veteran is very apparent and justifiable  david mamets script is so interesting because we know people dont actually talk like the characters in the film  yet we feel so connected to some of them  his beguiling style could fool any viewer up for the challenge  this is a must see  for those interested in solving a complex puzzle of a movie  
pos	an unhappy italian housewife  a lonely waiter  a goofy masseuse  lots of love  and gorgeous scenery all come together in bread and tulips  which proves charming despite its covering of predictable  wellworn material  the story concerns the aforementioned housewife  rosalba barletta  licia maglietta  who accidentally becomes separated from her immediate family while on vacation  instead of waiting for a ride home  rosalba opts not to go home to her italian town  but to instead hitchhike to venice  upon arriving  she tells her selfcentered husband  mimmo  an excellent antonio catania  that shell be home in a few days  of course  that doesnt happen  as rosalba quickly gains a level of independence that has been unattainable in her past life of scrubbing floors and buying groceries  in what seems like days  she moves in with lonely  suicidal waiter fernando  bruno ganz   gets a job as a florist  learns the accordion  and befriends her neighbor  a wacky holistic masseuse named grazia  marina massironi   rosalba  who is first seen wearing a gaudy stretch pants outfit  starts wearing sexy dresses and getting closer to fernando  i can think of at least five other  american  movies  including fried green tomatoes and an unmarried woman  that are more than similar to bread and tulips  but maglietta and ganz  who act with restraint and care  help bread and tulips from becoming a tired retread  ganz plays the suicidal waiter role with a solemn  sometimes playful dignity that is a joy to watch  while maglietta never overreacts to her growing comfort with the outside world  throughout the movie  maglietta has an easygoing  confident demeanor  which makes it very easy to root for her and her growing attraction for ganzs character  the gorgeous scenery of moonlit town squares and sparkling rivers provides a perfect love story backdrop  you just might want to ask the attractive stranger in the seat behind you for coffee after the lights come up  director and cowriter silvio soldini must get credit for sprinkling the movie with effective goofy humor  the cheap mimmo  desperate to find his wife  after all  he needs his shirts ironed and his mistress wont do it   hires a job applicant  giuseppe battiston  at his bathroom supply firm to do the job  the reason  mimmo discovers that the prospective plumber loves detective stories  the novice detectives various misfortunes  including him saying goodbye to his weepy mother  are very funny  unfortunately  there are flaws that somewhat spoil bread and tulips cheery tone  rosalba is bothered by several surreal dreams during her time in venice  which bring the movie to a halt  its like putting a gunfight in a nora ephron movie  several details in fernandos life also never get proper closure  including his suicidal tendencies  early in the movie  he nearly hangs himself before rosalba knocks on his apartment door  after that  fernandos step towards death is never made reference to  probably because soldini wanted to include a lukewarm  underdeveloped subplot about fernandos stormy past  it seems more like a desperate attempt to pump up the drama in a plot that doesnt need any  but there arent a lot of overwhelming negatives in bread and tulips  the movie is fun and romantic  with beautiful scenery and characters whose lives wed like to live if we had the nerve    or if our passports werent missing  
pos	after the terminally bleak reservoir dogs and the brutally violent pulp fiction  jackie brown seems like something of a lighthearted departure for quentin tarantino  its more of a hohum heist story with characters that speak the tarantino language  luckily  his showcase of actors convert every morsel of possible enjoyment onto the screen  and jackie brown has no trouble entertaining the average viewer  the story introduces us to a streetwise black woman named jackie brown  pam grier   a flight attendant who smuggles money and drugs from one destination to another  she works for a bottomofthebarrel airline and receives a minimal salary  but one day  she is picked up by a pair of federal officials  including michael keaton as the toughnosed ray nicolet   and found with a handsome load of cash and a small bag of smuggled dope  jackie is working for a weapons dealer named ordell  samuel l  jackson   who pays her bail money but suspects her of tipping off the feds about their operation  soon jackie and ordell are plotting a way to smuggle 500  000 through to them under nicolets nose  with the help of ordells oaf of a partner  robert de niro  and druggedout lady friend  bridget fonda   also entering the picture is a bailbondsman named max cherry  robert forster   who takes a liking to jackie and agrees at one point to make the situation even more complicated  how i wont say   the big dropoff is undoubtedly the high point of jackie brown  in which numerous doublecrosses take place and many clothing store bags  filled with cash  switch hands  its unfortunate that tarantino takes his sweet time getting there  and doesnt offer anything extremely compelling while doing so  there are  as always  amusing exchanges between characters  the funniest repartee is between de niro and fonda  as he becomes annoyed with her constant bickering while making fun of his iq  or lack thereof  the most interesting relationship is between max and jackie  a 56year old white bail bondsman and a 44year old black flight attendant with believable chemistry  youve got to commend the acting  jackie brown is a seriously draggedout exercise enlivened by such fine acting  the film clocks in at a lengthy 2 hours  35 minutes  tarantinos talky style manages to hold your attention heavily  but there are more than a few dramatic lapses and crucial lulls in the storyline  also  fans of the director should be prepared for a lighter side to appear  jackie brown has four major shootings  and two of those take place mostly offscreen  so dont be expecting a typical tarantino bloodbath  you can expect frequent foul language  mostly coming way of ordell  who  much to the dismay of spike lee  uses the n word as part of his regular vocabulary  the acting is the glue that holds everything together  grier  making a sudden comeback from her reign in the 1970s  is more than adequate for the title character  in fact  shes flatout great  another comeback comes from former tv star robert forster  who does a grand job as max cherry  and is perfectly cast in doing so  michael keaton makes his presence felt  albeit in small but dignified moments  and de niro is ideal in playing the lughead who goes over the edge  speaking of that  bridget fonda has relatively little to do as ordells bikiniclad beach babe  and yet she manages to look fairly occupied  theres not a single sign of misplaced dialogue or snubbed line throughout the entire movie  which is a lifesaver for mr  tarantino  the story barely holds together in the meantime  and we merely get a small tremor whenever there should be a defeaning earthquake  but oh well  jackie brown manages to be an enjoyable detour from quentin tarantino  even if it is lacking the glaring and original bite of his previous work  lets just hope that the director hasnt gone soft on us  
pos	upon taking a seat at the theater  and surveying the crowd  i soon realized that i was the only person under forty in the premises  im twentytwo  but have been accused of looking sixteen  yet as the film began  any consciousness of setting shifted to the home of five closeknit  yet troubled sisters  director pat oconnor  inventing the abbots  circle of friends  weaves a quiet yet affecting tale of loss  need  and the bonds between five sisters  the family is ruled by kate  meryl streep   an unconsciously strict schoolteacher  who is completely conscious of the deterioration of her family  there is very little background given to the viewer  as we are thrust into a tense but loving home  squabbles take place one after the other  caused by years and years of history  perhaps one of the best things about this film  is its naturalness  no situation is overwrought  and characters react as real people do  to real problems  this probably is a result of the film being from a stage play  the play was in turn is based on a time in the life of the playwright  what seems to be an underlying theme are the pagan rituals and dances of peoples  both in lughnasa and africa  in fact  dance seems to be the glue that holds the family together and most expressively shows their closeness  legs tap  and bodies sway even in the midst of impending disaster  only after the music stops  and the characters stand breathing heavily do we sense any trouble  in the quiet after the music we muse that its sad that music has to cease  and families falter  the movie is framed by a scene of michael mundy  the narrator of the movie  as a young child flying a kite  he trips over a bump and loses hold of his string  and the kite floats off farther into the distance  drawn on the white diamond of the kite is a face that looks at once pained  and at another glance mischievous  the mundy family itself follows a similar fate to that of the kite  and kates hold of the family isnt strong enough to hold off the winds of change  as michael stands  staring at his kite fly away  we hear the adult michael  looking back at the season that his world changed forever  the movie is not overpowering  but it gives us a beautiful window into the life  love  and trouble of a household of lonely women  note  this is the first movie review ive ever written  any responses on it would be greatly appreciated    
pos	in may of 1977  just 2 years after steven spielbergs success with jaws and 3 years after francis coppolas the godfather  a risky  ambitious young director named george lucas went for the same unpredictable box office success  little did he know that star wars would become the greatest science fiction epic in the history of film  in january of this year  lucas rereleased star wars on its 20th anniversary  in this new  remastered version  the added effects  which range from leathery desert beasts inserted into already existing shots to an awkward new scene in which hans solo bargains his way out of a jam with a computergenerated jabba the hutt  dont do much but call attention to themselves  other than these  the film is exactly the same  why pay to see it in the theaters  you might ask  simply because when this movie was released  most of us were a few years short of being born  we should all get up and go to the movies for the experience  especially if you havent seen it  the plot is basic but in the same way  complex  it has many themes  but the one rotates around luke skywalker  mark hamill  and his quest to become a jedi knight  his mission begins when a droid named r2d2 plays back a secret message recorded by the beautiful princess leia  carrie fisher   which tells him to contact the mysterious obiwan kanoby  alec guiness   he and kanoby then  joined by two intergalactic renegades  hans solo  harrison ford  and chewbacca  and skywalkers two droids d2 and c3po  the voice of anthony edwards   wage war upon the corrupt empire  commanded by an evil general  peter cushing  and the traitorous darth vader  the voice of james earl jones   skywalker defeats the evil empire by rising out of himself to embrace something larger  the force  the film is obviously quite starstudded  but how was lucas to know that ford would become one of the most sought after men in hollywood and jones voice would appear so many more times in the future  it just happened to work out for him  the magic of star wars lies in the way that skywalkers triumph is symbolized by the audiences sense of becoming something larger than life itselfa universe of fans  young and old  recreating a movie atmosphere that will impress generations forever   
pos	strange days chronicles the last two days of 1999 in los angeles  as the locals gear up for the new millenium  lenny nero  ralph fiennes  goes about his business of peddling erotic memory clips  he pines for his exgirlfriend  faith  juliette lewis   not noticing that another friend  mace  angela bassett  really cares for him  this film features good performances  impressive filmmaking technique and breathtaking crowd scenes  director kathryn bigelow knows her stuff and does not hesitate to use it  but as a whole  this is an unsatisfying movie  the problem is that the writers  james cameron and jay cocks  were too ambitious  aiming for a film with social relevance  thrills  and drama  not that ambitious filmmaking should be discouraged  just that when it fails to achieve its goals  it fails badly and obviously  the film just ends up preachy  unexciting and uninvolving  
pos	theres a thin line between satire and controversy  and mike nichols  the birdcage  wolf  has directed a sharp and very honest look at a us presidential election  based on the book written by  anonymous   actually former  newsweek  writer joe klein   john travolta plays governor jack stanton  but he doesnt actually play stanton  he plays bill clinton  just the same as emma thompson no doubt plays the first lady and billy bob thorton is the campaign manipulator james carville  although the credits will of course say otherwise   the film is taken from the perspective of henry burton  adrian lester   a morally correct and somewhat hesitant new advisor to stanton  he searches for justice and dignity in the ugliest possible situations  and whether it be keeping the history of his boss pants under wraps or contemplating digging up dirt on another politician  he approaches his work with a keen desire to skillfully serve his country and his fellow workers  richard jemmons  billy bob thorton  and daisy green  maura tierney  team up with henry as the wouldbe presidents advisors  and hire lesbian veteran libby holden  kathy bates  as the campaigns eccentric  tougher than dirt  incriminator  together they face all sorts of sexual allegations  the irritatingly discourteous media and other witty politicians in the election race  in its satire and controversy  primary colors is a similar film to wag the dog  they both are not afraid to wipe their noses in the nittygritty and take a bold look at something that will never has honesty as a virtue  but whereas wag showed us how much affect a few people can have on the media  primary colors is much more concerned with fleshing out its characters  letting us understand what they want and why  and making us truly appreciate the humanity and rectitude that they graciously represent  seeing john travolta play bill clinton so confidently and justly is enough to make the film more than worth a look  and the rest of the cast also make superb performances  adrian lester sharply portrays the intellect of henry whilst kathy bates is perfect as the robust and energetic libby holden  at occasions  you cant help but feel that these terrific characters are going to waste  there are long slabs of time where john travolta  unquestionably the most interesting to watch  is missed from the screen  and since it is awkwardly structured as henrys story we are often forced to watch scenes that perhaps are not so necessary to the central plot  or even the point of the film  having said that  make no mistake  primary colors is always enjoyable to watch  but frequently we have to ask ourselves  exactly what are we watching  most of the first half of its duration is a lightheaded look at melodramatic confrontations that seem so genuine we cannot help but laugh  but the way primary colors chooses to finish tackles aspects that are very contrary  and almost unsuitable  to the rest of the film  but as i mentioned before  there is a thin line between satire and controversy  and for the most part  primary colors delivers an entertaining indulgence of political matters combined with a farfromoverpowering look at winning the publics opinion  although at occasions the film may jump around a little too freely  focus is never lost on how important and vulnerable the subject matter really is  thankfully  it is clear to make the distinction on what is entertaining movie cosmetics and what is a provocative documentation of something so really its scary  
pos	it was only a matter of time before a dilbertesque office comedy hit the screens  however  rather than coming from dilbert creator scott adams  office space is instead based on the work of another animator  mike judge  creator of beavis and butthead and king of the hill  in his liveaction directoral debut  judge aptly spoofs corporate culture  the story is certainly not very involved  but there is plenty of truth and humor to fill the gaps  peter  ron livingston  is a programmer working at the initech corporation  every day in his mundane life is worse than the one before    in other words  every day is the worst day in his entire life  hes stuck in a boring job with eight different supervisors  all obsessed with administrative trivialities  hes smitten with joanna  jennifer aniston   a local waitress  but hasnt the guts to even introduce himself  everything has simply made him a complete  nervous wreck  but all of that changes when  after an unintentionally overeffective visit to a hypnotherapist  peter loses all of his inhibitions  he realizes his lifelong dream  to do absolutely nothing  he begins to blatantly disregard the nonsensical instructions of his boss  bill lumbergh  gary cole   doing whatever he feels like  peters friends and coworkers  samir  ajay naidu  and michael bolton  david herman     no  not that michael bolton  are perplexed by their friends sudden change in attitude  but  they have larger things to worry about  rumors about that initech is about to begin downsizing    as bleak as much of this sounds  let me assure you that office space is a comedy  and quite a funny one  although it shares the same absurdist office humor of the dilbert comic strip  office space is actually based loosely on the series of milton cartoons which aired on saturday night life  each mundane detail  taken by itself  seems completely  regrettably  plausible  yet  when combined into a whole  the picture which results is absolutely surreal  ron livingston tackles his role straightfaced  and becomes much funnier because of it  his character isnt simply being a clown lampooning around the office  but rather seems possessed by a zenlike clarity  he is operating on a higher plane  where everything suddenly makes sense  and from this vantage point  he allows the audience to smirk at the absurdities of life  anyone who has had to deal with the inefficiencies of corporate bureaucracy  or who has ever been frustrated with the technology of modern life  will recognize many of the characters and situations in the film  in fact  in addition to being wildly humorous  the film may actually prove to be cathartic  the animated roots of office space show in the films lack of complexity  most of the characters in the film can be quickly summarized by a particular personality quirk  one employee  milton  stephen root   is practically a fleshandblood cartoon  however  despite their simple nature  the characters still manage to be surprisingly funny  its not required to have a corporate background to enjoy this film  though the situations may seem exceedingly farfetched if you are unfamiliar with just how close to reality they really are   the film is flimsy and absurd  but also very funny  
pos	all those who were offended by theres something about mary should not tread in the waters of american pie  a gratuitously sexual rollercoaster ride of raunch  and while this uproariously funny  grossout summer movie is basically an exercise in bad taste  it also demonstrates a surprising sweetness in the end  american pie is the latest entry to the offensive teenagetargeted fare this season  i must question the studio that releases a movie like this  the producers are aiming these films at the 1524 crowd  but while pushing the limit of possible sex and violence in an rrated film  some have even been narrowly avoiding the dreaded nc17  a rating the mpaa gives when the adult content surpasses even that of a restricted movie  american pie was threatened with an nc17  but after snipping a few scenes from the finished product  it was given an r  but at least this new addition is not as careless and unforgiving as something like south park  it is sick  perverse  and ultimately disgusting  not to mention extremely funny  american pie is about four desperate teenagers who make a pact to lose their virginity by prom night  jim  jason biggs   kevin  thomas ian nicholas   oz  chris klein  and finch  eddie kaye thomas  are a quartet of high school students in their senior year who think sex is something they must experience to be successful in their lives ahead  jim inquires what it feels like when you reach third base  to which one of his friends replies  like warm apple pie      of course  this prompts the scene unfairly exposed in the trailers  in which jim and a freshly baked pie have a very intimate moment in the kitchen corner  there are many moments  such as this  in which director paul weitz uses a gameplan similar to the one frequently displayed in mary  to cause the audience to break down laughing in disgusting disbelief  american pie is a hardfought effort that has replenishing rewards if you manage to stick with it  i loved the young cast in this movie  consider the subject matter that these actors have dealt with  obviously suggestiveness never rivaled in any of their previous projects  and you should appreciate their performances  biggs is more than enjoyable  and chris klein  who recently played a similar jock in election  is obviously a young talent on the rise  but in a teendominated movie  the best performance comes from comedian eugene levy  of televisions sctv   who is unexpectedly brilliant as jims uneasy father  scenes in which the familiar fatherson conversations are brought to interesting new levels are the funniest moments to be found in american pie  after levy discovers jims new use for apple pie  he tells him  i did a fare share of that sort of thing when i was your age  but i never used baked goods   it is performances such as his  and bill murrays in rushmore  that are often unfairly dismissed when awards are handed out  there are some lessthanoriginal aspects of the film  a bathroom incident involving finch and a bottle of exlax is something weve seen before  if weitz is planning to take after the farrelly brothers  then this is a decidedly unwise move  the same prank was pulled in the brothers dumb and dumber  and used to greater effect  secondly  the characters are forced into a halfhearted climax that seems more artificial than amusing  but at one point  in which we discover that american pie does have a heart of its own  biggs asks his buddies why hes going through so much pressure for something thats not very important anyway   and so we realize that while the film is expressive about a subject that is hardly appropriate  it still manages to be mature  in its own way  
pos	albert brooks saves the day  just in the nick of time  with a very poor summer for movies  brooks is just what audiences were looking for to cheer them up  and does so in a positive way  while this may not be his finest work   the muse  still shakes up some delightful humor  in albert brooks latest comedy  he tells a story of a troubled screenwriter  brooks  whos losing his edge  as his business partners say  in desperation  he goes to see his friend jack  jeff bridges   who has been a very successful screenwriter in the past  he asks jack for some help  and recieves word of a real life muse  that has helped him and many other directors throughout their career  so brooks seeks the muse named sarah  sharon stone   and is suckered into buying her expensive  food etc  as a sort of payment  the real punch line however  doesnt come until the end  it really makes you wonder  how screenwriters really get their ideas  could it simply be from a friend or a bum in the street  the idea itself is provoking and brooks does it in a hilarious manner  speaking of brooks  he was absolutely hysterical as a screenwriter  every time he graces the screen  i cant help but start laughing  albert has a very unique sense of humor that makes him a very likeable character  the real problem with the film lies with sharon stone  she wasnt likeable at all  brooks had the right idea with her occupation  but she never pulled through  in a way  she drained energy from the once funny atmosphere and left it bleak  luckily brooks could clean up the mess  and cover for stones mishap  it was a shame that the film went slightly downhill after her appearance  because  the muse  had the potential to a be a very authentic comedy  on a brighter note  andie macdowell was also charming as brooks wife  she is always a nice addition as a supporting actress  because she has that charisma that seems to complete the atmosphere to any film shes in  the funniest moments in  the muse  in my opinion were the cameos by james cameron and martin scorsese  i mean imagine  brooks seeing these big named directors in his back yard seeking sharon stone for advice  like it was something out of the ordinary  it was just plain hilarious  it just adds to the satire joke  of how directors get ideas  brilliant move by brooks  as i mentioned before  the film is a satire much like its proceeder bowfinger  which came out a few weeks before  unlike bowfinger  this is not a mean spirited film thats desperate for jokes  its rather a witty and humorous look at hollywood   bowfinger  had its moments  but had quite a few problems that were never worked out  but  the muse  still managed to keep the laughs despite a bit of a detour  by the end of the film  youre glad to see a good hearty comedy come out of it  for once im not fully disappointed  because the film didnt slow down  it kept moving  even with some flaws  thumbs up to brooks for his brave effort  i think hell still manage to keep his edge around well into the future  
pos	for more than a decade  anjelica huston has been one of americas finest actresses  in her directorial debut  bastard out of carolina  based upon dorothy allisons largely autobiographical book on child abuse and poverty in the south  huston displays impressive proficiency behind the camera as well  the film tells the story of ruth anne boatwright  nicknamed bone by one of her uncles at birth  in postworld war ii south carolina  through voiceover  narration done by laura dern   we find that she nearly didnt survive birth  as her single mother anney  played by jennifer jason leigh  was thrown through the windshield during an automobile accident  thats just the beginning of her troubles  bone is deemed illegitimate on her birth certificate  a social stigma which her mother and her large poor family obsesses over for years to come  anney meets and weds lyle  a kind man and good stepfather whom gives bone a baby sister before dying in an automobile accident  anneys brother earle  played by michael rooker  introduces her to glen  played by ron eldard  a coworker at the mill  glen  the black sheep of a wealthy family   when are you gonna make your daddy proud  ill tell you when  never   hes told  and filled with bitterness  courts anney and eventually wins her  despite warnings of a violent temper  when anney miscarries with his muchprized baby boy  glen loses his capability to supress his violent outbursts and begins to direct them at bone  beating and abusing her  while the lovedependent anney tries to turn a blind eye and justify his behaviour  things turn for the worse when glen loses his job and the family of four sink into impoverishment  while set several decades ago  this story remains completely relevant in todays society  where abused wives return to their husbands  and abuse committed against children by one spouse is routinely overlooked by the other  the real star of this domestic drama is not topbilled jennifer jason leigh  but child actress jena malone  who plays bone in a wrenching and wholly impressive debut performance  her work is of awardcalibre  and in this age in which a preponderence of superb child performers have emerged  kirsten dunst  tina majorino  anna paquin  natalie portman  christina ricci  elijah wood   malones performance stands up well  leighs performance in bastard out of carolina is fine  although shes not really given much to do  and ron eldard work is very solid  skillfully manouvering his characters moods in and out of explosive rage  one can always sense that underneath his glen is a pressurecooker ticking away  of the supporting cast  special note must be made of the criminally underrated michael rookers performance  theres a bit too much generic formulaism in the screenplay for my taste  from the various characters spouting off country bumpkinisms  to the familiar sight of a driedup uptight wise old granny  played by grace zabriskie  sitting on the porch rocking chair  to impassioned soliloquies better suited for a stage performance  still  it cannot be denied that anne merediths screenplay contains a wallop of emotional power  hustons direction of the film is surehanded and impressive  giving the film good pacing and eliciting good performances from her cast  particularly the young malone  her sequences of child abuse are shot in a hardhitting emotional  rather than graphic  manner  and are very effective  hustons talent with camera positioning is wonderful  from a visually striking shot done through a fan  to an extended sequence in the front seat of an automobile  the film has the toneddown feel of a television production  bastard out of carolina was originally composed and cut for broadcast on the tnt cable station  who ended up declining the film due to sentiments that scenes of abuse and rape in the film were too disturbingly realistic for their audience  perhaps some sequences of the film may be unpleasant  but as a whole bastard out of carolina adds up to a powerful viewer experience worth seeing  
pos	razor blade smile running as part of the vancouver international film festival played october 2nd and 4th  1998  official release  halloween reviewed by vince yim you think you know all about vampires    believe me    you know f  ck all   with these words  we are brought into the world of a sultry vampire seductress by the name of lilith silver  played by eileen daly   made into an immortal a century and a half ago by the sinister ethan blake  she continues to alleviate boredom with her state of being  so  whats an undead girl to do  except squeeze into the tightest fitting clothes possible  get out her guns  seduce a few guys  and kill a few people for money and blood  with that out of the way  let me say this  this film is bad  this film is really  really bad  yet somehow  it is strangely enjoyable  with all the elements of a direct to video horror flick  buxom babes  gore  cheesy dialogue  and bad acting  any casual film viewer would be more inclined to spend their money on renting innocent blood or going to see blade  still  it is considered to be one of the finest british vampire film  agreed  it might be  but is far from being the best vampire flick ever  period  razor blade smile has some rather high production values  shown by the nice overall tone to the film  the film is also a bit of a departure from popular vampire lore  with a vampire that can go out in broad daylight without disintegrating  doesnt sleep in a coffin  but leaves one next to her computer   and sees religion as the opium of the peoples  hence  immunity to crosses   but aside from that  it doesnt stray too far away from horror film conventions  that is  unless that is intentional  razor blade smile literally goes for the throat  then pumps the wound full of processed cheese  you cant help but laugh when a female vampire gets decapitated and her severed head goes flying into a puddle  youll laugh even harder at the hideously contrived situations  to distract two female guards  lilith tosses a cellular phone towards them and dials the number   youll laugh the hardest when a murder witness recants the tale and suddenly starts sobbing uncontrollably  and then  theres the sudden twist ending  i have enough heart not to give it away   the film refuses to take itself seriously  which is a good thing  as by the time lilith zips up her skintight body suit and then unzips it just to show the right amount of cleavage  youve most likely forgotten the main point of the story  but in case you really care  shes been assigned to kill a bunch of people who belong to the socalled illuminati  and shes leaving a huge mess behind for the police to find  as much as my criticisms  this movie works best as a guilty pleasure or as a film that you watch with your friends and within groups  almost destined for cultstatus  the films campy  cheesy overtones actually work towards the film  while this may not necessarily be the film youd want to be seen watching by yourself  it makes for a fun time at the movies  
pos	pitch black is a sheep in wolfs clothing  it is full of darkness  danger and violence and if you buy into the marketing hype  an unsettling and scary film going experience  dont be fooled  pitch black is a morality play masquerading as a scarefest  it starts off with blistering intensity  a cargo spaceship crash lands on a planet apparently leeched of life by the scorching heat of three suns  among the survivors is fry  mitchell   the ships pilot  who spends the film wrestling with the fact that she tried to jettison the other passengers in her effort to land the craft safely  there is imam  david   an islamic leader whose faith in his god is tested repeatedly throughout the film  there is a law enforcement officer in the form of johns  hauser   who attacks every situation with square jawed authoritarian zeal  and there is riddick  diesel   a menacing  musclebound convicted murderer whos being brought back to justice by johns  the group quickly sizes up the situation and each other  confident in their assessment of matters  a plan is set in motion to escape their hellish environment  those plans are shredded by the appearance of one of the planets wildlife  a predatory  sometimes winged  species that enjoys the taste of blood and flesh  fortunately  the creatures are light sensitive and are forced to live in networks of catacombs under the planets surface  unfortunately  the group has managed to land on the planet moments before an eclipse is about to occur  taking away their one protection from the monsters  the groups savior comes in the form of johns  whose decisive leadership looks to deliver them from purgatory  or does it  pitch black deviates from the standard scifi fare by avoiding some of the stock  escape the boogieman  conflicts the genre typically serves up  just as the planet gave a false facade of lifelessness  first appearances given by the survivors proves to be just as false  the excitement of the film comes not from the danger posed by the creatures  but rather from watching the shifting allegiances and emotional growth of the characters as the planet serves as a deus ex machina of sorts to catalyze emotional growth  a recurrent theme runs throughout the movie of faith  whether it be religious or in a person  and how that powers their motivations  i found it telling that an accidental death occurs early on due to the misperception of a self professed atheist  conversely  imam constantly contributes any good fortune to allah  one by one  his perceived heaven sent blessings are taken away and crushed  imam is forced to reassess his faith  another character expresses belief in god  along with a life long hate  yet another character makes a decision that echoes the sentiments of christ about selflessness and has lasting repercussions for several of group  it is a fascinating character study hiding under the guise of a scare flick  special mention should be made of vin diesel  who intriguingly conveys feral menace combined with a truly mesmerizing presence  his character could have easily slipped into a parody of the baddass killing machine  but twohy and diesel add surprising depth to riddick  they can be excused for the two or three shwarzeneggerlike catch phrases that growl their way out of diesels mouth  the movie has its flaws that can be nitpicked  the creatures do look derivative of the ones in alien  the dialogue isnt the freshest at times  reminiscent of a bad comic book  yes  the appearance of riddicks vision skills are more than a little timely considering the situation  these trappings are on the periphery of the story twohy is really trying to tell  twohy may have lured you in under the pretense of scaring you with film fabricated boogieman  but he shows the real boogieman to be the prejudices and beliefs we use to direct decisions in our lives  
pos	seen february 15  1998 on home video  borrowed from chris wessell   when it comes to modern gangster movies  its really difficult to describe and review them without making comparisons to other films of the genre andor just using the word  routine   ive always subscribed to the philosophy that any idea  no matter how many times its been used before  can provide for a good story and  donnie brasco  clinches this idea  its not unlike most of the great films of the genre  yet it never apes anothers style as it has a good layer of authenticity  even if its core is a tad stale  the film starts off in typical fashion by defining its atmosphere of new york city in the late 1970s and the mobsters who inhibit it  we meet lefty  pacino   an aging wiseguy who can still walk the walk and talk the talk  he and his associates go through the generic motions you expect to see in crime films like this  somehow he comes across donnie brasco  depp   a younger guy with a lot of spunk who isnt afraid of lefty and his rep  and even manages to befriend him after lefty was ready to kill him  its clear donnie is new to the life and lefty recognizes this immediately  telling him all the tricks of the trade  i have never seen this technique of actually revealing the mafioso idiosyncrasies done before and for this the film deserves credit  however  we soon realize donnie is actually joe pistone  an fbi agent working undercover  a character who symbolizes the viewer as he will soon be purged into the lifestyle and treated as a newcomer  the first act works as a guided to ot of rhetoric about wiseguy honor  a brief history of the mob  definitions of their slang  and where their money comes from and who it goes to  the screenplay is rather sketchy on the details surrounding these elements  however  the fact they are mentioned at all is quite original  most gangster movies seem to be made with the notion the viewer already knows how the mob works  probably from watching other gangster movies   and although this attitude comes across  the film tries to fill in all the holes where and when it can and the effort is appreciable  thankfully the film doesnt become too caught up in the tedious details of organized crime  and instead opts for character development  much of the story is told simply through the interaction between lefty and donnie  pacino is outstanding here as the pathetic hood who speaks of his job in the same manner any blue collar worker would  hes old and exhausted but seems to enjoy what he does  just as anyone loyal to the same employer for over 30 years might be  we learn of his accomplishments  which are quite impressive within their context  and when he complains about not being made top boss  its easy to sympathize with him  newell constantly plays up this aspect  making it a major theme which works well in the long run  as donnie is constantly impressing and even oneupping lefty  its hard to tell which emotion is more powerful  the fact donnie is getting closer to nailing the mob  or the fact lefty has once again been over shadowed  most of the film tells the story of donnies life in mafia  which creates for many subplots and individual conflicts  but doesnt always seem to come together as a whole  the storytelling is genuinely interesting throughout  even when the motions the characters go through seem familiar  the resonance to donnies actual assignment varies  he often reports back to the feds with detail of his progress  but it doesnt always seem to have much meaning  back home  his wife maggie  heche  is ready to divorce him because hes never a and the family is suffering  since this is based on a true story i wouldnt doubt this would happen  although the way it is handled often borders on the melodramatic  my only major complaint is the film seems to have no final act  or at least any real sense of closure  a climax of sorts does occur  but theres little feeling of a payoff  we get a happy ending  which is good  but perhaps a sad ending would have been more powerful  aside from a few minor  general flaws   donnie brasco  manages to be a solid piece of storytelling and character development  it may be routine  but its good  and thats respectful  
pos	 sometimes the green mile seems sooooo long   indeed  and any filmmaker with a three hour movie who ends it with that gem of dialogue should expect to see it quoted in a review  on a more positive note  let me add that sometimes the green mile is almost good enough to make us forget its length  the mile in question  green due to its faded limecolored linoleum  leads from the prison cell to  old sparky   the electric chair where executions were carried out at louisianas cold mountain penitentiary in 1935  paul edgecomb  tom hanks  youve got mail  is the head guard of eblock  otherwise known as death row  keeping his prisoners calm as they await the carrying out of their sentence is his primary responsibility  it is a responsibility which he capably delegates to the other guards on his watch by insisting they  talk to  the convicts instead of yelling at them  this practice leads to an unusual camaraderie between the guards and the men behind their bars  into his charge comes one john coffey  michael clarke duncan  armageddon   a seven foot tall gentle giant who has been convicted of the rape and murder of two young girls  immediately  paul senses something different about this prisoner  perhaps its the way he asked for a night light because he is frightened of the dark  or perhaps it is the mystical healing powers he demonstrates as he  takes back  pauls bladder infection thereby restoring him to health  based on steven kings 1996 serialized novel  the green mile does offer other characters who have stories to be told  eduard delacroix  michael jeter  patch adams   is a frail cajun convict who befriends and trains a mouse to do circus tricks  percy wetmore  doug hutchison  a time to kill   is a young and sadistic guard sitting on a transfer to a more lucrative position because he has yet to see a prisoner  fry  up close  and hal moores  james cromwell  babe  pig in the city  is the compassionate warden for whom  despite all the executions hes witnessed  death never loomed as large as when his own wife was diagnosed with a tumor  while it is mr  hanks  everyman  performance at the center of the film which gives it the anchor to hold our interest for 180 minutes  it is the performances of his supporting cast that are most worth noting  all involved do credible work in their respective roles  most especially mr  duncan  who turns in an impressive  fully realized characterization  if only the story were more credible  writerdirector frank darabont  the shawshank redemption  has crafted a flawed fantasyallegory of sorts  one which is more spiritualistic than spiritual  relying on a preternatural mysticism rather than a genuine and godly spiritual power  mr  darabont also overplays his hand considerably in the manipulation of our affection towards and association with his characters  was it an accidental omission that the first two inmates who walked the green mile were being punished for crimes never disclosed  by not knowing the reason for the condemned convicts presence on eblock  the audience never gets the sense of the justice which is being carried out  making the death penalty appear cruel and unwarranted  this is especially true during the gruesome depiction of the second execution which was horribly botched  much has also been made of coffeys christlike ability to heal but unlike the numerous healings which are recorded in the scriptures  coffeys powers are shrouded in mystery  taking on the feel of a circus trick  coupled with a voodoolike  i feel your pain  transference  in contrast  there is no mystery associated with the healing that is from god  the genuine  gifts of healing  listed in 1 corinthians 12 is just one of the nine manifestations of holy spirit and can be operated by any spiritually instructed man or woman in accordance with the knowledge and wisdom of god  true spiritual healing  with few exceptions  requires the committed believing of both the healer as well as the one being healed  such believing comes not from the shrouded secrets of mysticism  but from the revealed word of god  
pos	i guess there are those who have never been kissed before  a rare and dying breed   except if youre child  in which case it would be called experimenting  rarer still are those who have never been kissed before they reach the twenties  hardest to believe still  is that drew barrymore has never been kissed  despite all these hard to believe tit bits  there are people out there who have never truly been kissed  and who are still waiting for that right person to give them the wet  sloppy warm feeling of tongues intermingling  reassuring them that their search for true love is over  well  this movie is about a girl waiting for the right boy to give her the kiss of her life  and its sweet  drew barrymore who shone in  ever after is wonderful as  josie  grossy  the high school dweeb who becase a professional editor  before being assigned by her paper to return to school as an undercover reporter  it addresses the issues of how a dweeb  becomes a prom queen and finds the man of her life all in one sitting  hard to believe  but possible  there may also be those who have been kissed before  but in fact  never truly been given the kiss  so this movie can be watched by those who are waiting for true love or those who are still searching for it  either way  it is one enjoyable sit  with a fairytale ending  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned   all the worlds a stage and all the men and women merely players they have their exits and their entrances and one man in his time plays many parts   excerpt from as you like it  act ii  scene 7 when william shakespeare penned this passage  he could not have possibly envisioned a world in which the domestic activites in an abode would be broadcast across the continent  or where women would install webcams in their apartments in order to convert voyeurism into cash  this is the world of today  and it is the perfect climate to unveil a prototypical highconcept project like the truman show  truman burbank  jim carrey  seems to have the perfect life  he has a pretty  doting wife meryl  laura linney   a comfortable insurance sales position  an immaculate suburban home in the idyllic island community of seahaven  a reliable childhood buddy marlon  noah emmerich   except for the dog that paws a greeting to him every morning and his hydrophobia  this is paradise  or so it would seem  bizarre  inexplicable incidents begin to crop up in trumans life  a lighting fixture unexpectedly plummets from the sky  a rainstorm which gives new meaning to the term isolated follows him around  a radio broadcast appears to be describing his every move  for the first time in his life  it is beginning to dawn on truman that things are not what they appear to be  the truman show  directed by peter weir and written by andrew niccol  is a remarkably wellconstructed film  paced perfectly with every scene fluidly leading into the next  balancing drama with humour  thoughtfulness with abandon  this is a film which addresses an intriguing and intricate concept with just the right mixture of sermonizing and whimsical fancy  in many ways  mr  niccols screenplay mirrors the spirit of his previous gattaca  both films focus on the theme of triumph of the human spirit over oppressive adversity  with pivotal  characterdefining moments occurring at sea  although the films rather conventional climax doesnt sustain the inspired dynamic achieved in the first twothirds  and ultimately just falls short on delivering the intended emotional punch  there are moments through the truman show which are genuinely stirring and moving as truman attempts to make sense of his unraveling world and grasp the implications behind his discoveries of deception  despite the multitude of pertinent issues being broached by the film  it remains foremost a finelycrafted piece of entertainment  constantly light and accessible  the tone achieved is far too sunny for any sense of fearful paranoia to legitimately intrude  and as the carefullystacked seahaven house of cards tumbles down  the film eschews any psychological ramifications for a man discovering that the fundamentals of his entire existence have been false  the end act of the truman show essentially boils down to a rehash of the reliable  crowdpleasing underdog vs  the system formula  while the film is an impressive realisation of an inspired concept  some elements are lacking  the device of mysterious laurensylvia  natascha mcelhone  as a contributing impetus to trumans growing awareness isnt exactly convincing  theres not much of a discernable spark between either the two characters or the actors themselves  and the scenes in which she indignantly confronts the megalomaniac christoff  ed harris  with regards to the moral ambiguity of his actions unnecessarily spells things out for the audience  thankfully avoided elsewhere in the film  in fact  although the film smartly restricts the number of scenes depicting the real world outside trumans artificial utopia to a mere handful of select reaction shots from enraptured gazers  it might have perhaps been even more indicting and damning to immerse itself even  more  deeply in the insulatory seahaven world  with the resultant effect that the repercussions felt as the film finally shifts outside the imposed bubble are all the more startling  still  the scathing commentary issued by this film is on target  and its insidiously oblique manner of delivery is far more effective in conveying the message than the more forthright antivoyeuristic tirades such as that of the recent costa gavras film mad city  ive always believed that the versatile ms  linney possesses a tremendous comic gift  she has always seems to have a impish gleam in her eyes  and in the truman show she runs rampant with her duplicitous character  mischievously flashing a glazed  insanely jovial grin as she perkily recites impromptu product placement slogans  cheerfully going over the top  its hilarious to watch her  who would have ever guessed that shed have the opportunity to outshine the reigning king of comedy in the laughs department of a film  ms  linney is a delight in the film  but it is mr  carrey who rules the show here  he may not have been intuitively the most obvious choice to portray underdog hero truman burbank  the role is seriously lacking in any of the frenetic comic interludes which typify his traditional parts  but he brings to the character tremendous energy and eminent appeal  its difficult not to root for truman  in a commanding performance  mr  carrey lends our protagonist an inherent sense of decency and integrity which makes him a genuinely engaging presence  and acquits himself impressively in this dramatic turn  demonstrating admirable restraint  theres an early scene where hes down on his knees gardening  and given his past track record  one almost instinctively anticipates mr  carrey to pull one of more infamous  and in this case  wholly inappropriate sight gags  its almost poetic how this notorious lookatme actor successfully tones it down to play a character whos constantly the centre of attention  in addition to the fine performances by the bulk of the cast  mr  emmerich is particularly noteworthy for issuing his character a sense of sturdy trustworthiness  the film is immeasurably aided by wonderful production design by dennis gassner in creating trumans antiseptic  white picketfenced smalltown utopia  and by burkhard dallwitzs original score  technical credits are firstrate all around  while the truman show is clearly a definitive highconcept film  its not exactly a dazzlingly innovative one  obvious predecessors utilising common elements abound  ranging from 1965s secret agent through to the groundbreaking british 1967 tv series the prisoner  all the same  this is a visionary  awardcalibre film  entertaining  provocative  and intelligent  the curious  and possibly disturbing  thing may be that although upon first glance the plausibility of the films concept seems unfathomably outrageous  its abundantly clear that our society is rapidly approaching  if not actualisation  at least permissiveness of such a scenario  perhaps the highest compliment which can be paid to mr  weir is that his depiction of this bizarro state is so convincing that we accept it without question  perhaps we recognize a bit of ourselves in this world  
pos	in chocolat  a chocolate shop owner tells her customers to look into a spinning object of obscure textures  patterns  and lines  hoping shell be able to foresee the kind of chocolate theyll most enjoy  some scoff the idea  but everyone who gazes into the complexity of the spinning object winds up seeing something different than the next  revealing personality traits which the person may not have known they had before  this can easily stand as a model for chocolat as a whole  on the surface  it appears to be a light  fluffy fable with no depth or true worth  but when one takes a second  deeper look  chocolats true colors begin to shine through  making a bold statement about organized religion and those who practice it  lasse hallstroms chocolat is flawlessly acted and meticulously craftednot to mention one of the best films of the year  what gives chocolat its magic  much like hallstroms 1999 winner of two academy awards  the cider house rules  is its willingness to say whats on its mind without holding back to prevent offending audiences  the bold and honest message hallstrom conveys with chocolat will no doubt outrage a select group of viewers  but those who are willing to suspend their bitterness because they feel they are being intimidated or attacked should find themselves to be in agreement with what the film says about narrowmindedness  chocolat centers its story around the small french village of lansquenet  where majority rules  and the majority lives by only one law  religion  the bulk of the townspeople  with few exceptions  are preparing for the sacred time of abstinence  lent  but when the independent thinking  seemingly nonreligious vianne rocher  juliette binoche  and her daughter anouk  victoire thivisol  make the village their home  the people will be tempted beyond belief by the mouthwatering confections in the chocolate shop vianne opens  many are predictably opposed and deeply offended by viannes opening of the chocolate shop just in time for lent  especially the mayor  comte de reynaud  a cartoonlike alfred molina   who will stop at nothing to put her out of business  on the other hand  the shop is a delight to others  including the cranky armande voizin  judi dench   who sits day by day in viannes shop  telling the single mother about her unfortunate detached relationship with her grandson  aurelien parentkoening   which comes as a result of his mother  carrieann moss  believing armande is a bad influence  as she does not hold the same  strict religious beliefs that she does  also a fan of the chocolate is the nervous wreck josephine muscat  whose husband is constantly beating her  to whom vianne offers a home and befriends  juliette binoche is charming and honest as vianne  genuinely capturing her characters determination to turn the narrowminded townspeople into more happy  independent human beings  but most of chocolats success is unquestionably a result of the remarkable performances of the supporting actresses  lena olin  previously nominated for an oscar in 1989  deserves her second nomination for her earnest  moving portrayal of a lost  scared woman torn between staying true to her battering  manipulative husband or leaving him to live the life which for which she longs  judi dench is sharp  incisive  and occasionally greatly touching as armande voizin  carrie annmoss  in what is likely to be her first largely noticed  and acclaimed  role since the matrix  shows a more solid side of her acting skills not previously seen  crafting a character that the viewer both sympathizes with and despises simultaneously  victoire thivisol shows much promise as anouk  a young girl hoping her alwaysonthemove mother will eventually settle down  a trade ad for chocolat sums up best the power the actresses have on screen with the tagline   five extraordinary women  one extraordinary movie   thats not to say the men dont do their share  though  alfred molina makes for a sly and utterly repugnant antagonist  hugh oconor adds quite a bit of comic relief as the priest who seems to not even know why he is who he is  and johnny depp gives a strong performance as the pirate roux  who enters the film late in the game and sparks the romantic interest of vianne  the technical aspects of chocolat are strong across the board  lasse hallstrom directs his enchanting fable with great care  perfectly balancing the elements of each genre to be found within the film  cinematographer roger pratt brings an atmospheric  fairy tale look to the film  and rachel portmans masterful score is her best and most memorable since the cider house rules  chocolat  adapted by robert nelson jacobs from the joanne harris novel  is a wonderful little treat of a film  one that will most likely win over the hearts of audiences and the votes of academy members this winter  and the aggressive backing of miramax films assures the latter  while not as powerful as the cider house rules  lasse hallstroms chocolat is a film which works on all levelsas a drama  a comedy  a fable  a romance  and a fairy tale  and it even lives up to its name  it is delicious to savor the taste of  easy to digest  and  like all excellent chocolate  it is memorable for days afterward  the bottom line  chocolat is pure pleasure  
pos	while alex browning  devon sawa  waits at jfk to leave for a school trip to paris  bad omens seem to surround him  as soon as he buckles into the plane  he has a vision of the plane exploding seconds after takeoff  when the vision begins to come true  alex bolts for the door  dragging several students and a teacher in his wake  the plane takes off without them and explodes just as alex predicted  he becomes an object of fear and suspicion among the community  and the tension only increases as the survivors begin to die  alex and another survivor  clear rivers  ali larter   investigate the suspicious  suicide  of a friend  and a mortician  tony  candyman  todd  clues them in to the truth  alex interrupted deaths design by saving people who should have died in the explosion  and death will want to claim its rightful victims  in order to save himself and the others  alex will have to figure out deaths new plan and thwart it  of the countless horror films that have competed for a piece of the  scream  audience   final destination  is the best so far  talented young screenwriter jeffrey reddick offers a fresh variation on a familiar formula  weve seen hundreds of movies where a group of teenagers are murdered onebyone by a faceless slasher  but reddick cuts out the hockeymasked middleman and makes the villain death itself  firsttime feature director james wong made the most of that premise  every scene is permeated with creepiness and foreboding  reminding us that death is everywhere  can come at anytime  everyday objects and events vibrate with menace  the most amusing harbinger of doom  john denvers  rocky mountain high   which is played several times in the movie before someone dies   the link is that denver died in a plane crash  and the song includes a line about fire in the sky   the performances are stronger than those usually elicited by teen horror  devon sawa  who previously starred in another horror flick   idle hands   gives a frantic and convincing lead performance  kerr smith is carter hogan  an antagonist of alexs whose quick temper causes him to pulled off the fatal plane  smith plays carter as filled with anger and confusion that constantly threatens to bubble over into violence  seann william scott  whos also in theaters right now in  road trip   plays the somewhat dim billy hitchcock and provides a needed counterpoint to the intensity of alex and carter  tony todds onescene cameo is delicious but all too brief  bottom line  watchable teen fright flicks are few and far between  but this destination is worth visiting  
pos	assume nothing  the phrase is perhaps one of the most used of the 1990s  as first impressions and rumors are hardly ever what they seem to be  the phrase especially goes for oscar novak  an architect who is the main focus of three to tango  a delightful  funny romantic comedy about assumptions and being yourself  novak  matthew perry   a shy  clumsy  chicago based architect  along with openly gay partner  peter steinberg  oliver platt   fights for projects day in and day out  one of these is the job of restoring a popular building for charles newman  dylan mcdermott   a rich  wellknown businessman  charles immediately takes a liking to oscar  as he enjoys his personality and sense of humor  seeing oscar as someone he could trust  charles asks him to watch his girlfriend  an unpredictable  adventurous girl named amy post  neve campbell   who makes a living by blowing glass  charles wants to know who she talks to  what she does  and where she goes  the point  to make sure shes not seeing someone else  of course  oscar gladly takes the job  and meets amy at an art show of hers  and sparks fly between the two from the get go  oscar feels he has found the one meant for him  and he is content with the idea of being with amy  well  another popular phrase of the 90s is  all good things must come to an end   and this stays true for oscar as well  charles walks in on amy and oscar having a drink one night  as oscar and amy have become great friends  but he doesnt seem to mind  why is this  he thinks oscar is gay  hes not afraid to share this with him either  oscar stands in shock after the words   i swear if you werent gay oscar  id have to kill you   are muttered flamboyantly from charles mouth  the word spreads instantly through town  will oscar  come out  of his supposed gayness  or will he tell everyone that he isnt  one would immediately think he would deny the fact  but numerous occurrences come to oscar  which result in the fact that if he denies the fact  he could lose his job with charles  matthew perry doesnt escape his character as chandler on the already classic t  v  comedy  friends   as both oscar novak and chandler are clueless  shy  and sensitive  nonetheless  perry is hilarious here  and shows that he can handle drama  as obviously  his character suffers quite a bit here  its wonderful to see neve campbell outside of a horror movie   she was the star of scream 1 and 2  and the upcoming scream 3  as she handles comedy superbly here  her voice  smile  and personality are more than perfect for romantic comedies stay with this genre  neve  neve is delightful as her conflicted character  who feels love for oscar  but knows  based on rumors  that he is gay  as usual  campbell is likable as her likable character  unlike the other two leads here  dylan mcdermott is flat in his dialogue  and is never convincing  when his character his present  mcdermott sets a dull tone to the scene with his horrible acting  stick to the t  v  drama  the practice  dylan  the major weak spot in three to tango is the direction of damon santostefano  no originality or technique is used whatsoever  three to tango is lucky that the script is so edgy and that perry and campbell are wonderful in comedy  or else the film would have been a disaster  as it is just plain boring to look at  three to tango is a film done many times before  as the plot is suspiciously close to 1998s the object of my affection  but the plot has never been completed so well  three to tangos script  written by rodney patrick vaccaro and aline brosh mckenna is fun  fast  and funny  delivering not only original  hilarious gay jokes  not your run of the mill material   but a certain snappiness in the dialogue between characters that always keeps you smiling  unlike last summers south park  bigger  longer  and uncut and 1997s in  out  three to tango is a comedy in which the gay element is not crude or vulgar  the script is wise to take this route  as gays cant  i dont think so  anyway  be offended by this light  playful comedy   to prove this  a gay couple was in the audience who were laughing constantly   three to tangos climax is a hilarious  clever scene that is pure irony based on the outcome of most romanticmistaken identity comedies  three to tango is a gem  the bottom line  three to tango is a light  sharp  snappy romantic comedy with a superb ending  and great stars  one of the better romantic comedies of 1999  
pos	the question isnt why has grease been reissued  the answer to that one is easy  to celebrate the movies 20th anniversary and to make more bucks for paramounts coffers because john travolta is once again a hot commodity  no  the question that ought to be asked is  should grease be reissued  the answer is not an easy one  grease is a fun movie  an entertaining fantasy of the 50s  embodying all the cliches of that era  the music is lively and the dance numbers  choreographed by patricia birch  are energetic and highspirited  travolta was at his pinnacle as a sexual icon  cool  but nonthreatening  but grease didnt break any new cinematic ground  it was not a milestone in movie history such as citizen kane or easy rider  what grease is  or has become  is the highestgrossing musical in film history  ok  lets not be a spoilsport  grease is a fun and entertaining movie  even though it stretches credulity to see such performers as travolta  olivia newtonjohn  taxis jeff conaway and the multitalented stockard channing try to act like high schoolers  its nostalgic to recall how good a dancer travolta was  and its sad to think of what could have been had not a few missteps sidetracked his career  he could have become a musical comedy star in the tradition of gene kelly  cinematically  the musical comedy has basically gone the way of the dinosaur  between grease and 1996s evita   you can probably count the number of movie musicals on one hand  two reasons have contributed to the demise of the genre  the first is that movie audiences have become more sophisticated  no  make that cynical and jaded  today  if a character began to dance and sing with no orchestra in sight  he or she would probably be hooted off the screen  todays audiences lack the innocence  that belief in movie magic that is required for a musical to succeed  secondly  a lack of talent  performers with the charisma  the style  the largerthanlife panache of fred astaire  gene kelly  ginger rogers and judy garland are gone  most singers and dancers remain on the stage  and those who do succeed in movies usually wind up in serious dramatic parts  a good example is gregory hines  one of the greatest dancers in the world  he danced a bit in the cotton club  tap and white nights  but those were essentially dramatic vehicles  so  perhaps the reissue of grease can serve a purpose  if audiences show enough interest  meaning if the rerelease earns the studio enough revenue  it may spark a revival in movie musicals  perhaps not original musicals such as singin in the rain  an american in paris or seven brides for seven brothers  but for broadway properties that have been in the planning stages for film adaptations for several years  at one time or another  according to the industry rumor mill  hollywood has been set to create an animated version of andrew lloyd webbers cats  a filming of the popular phantom of the opera as well as les miserables and chicago  the latter reportedly to star madonna  so  let this grease be the forerunner of an armada of movie musicals  let grease be the word that sparks this revival  
pos	lets face it  since waterworld floated by  the summer movie season has grown  very  stale  with no new eyecandy for four weeks straight  weve had to sustain ourselves on the quasinutritional value of cheatin husbands  traveling chocolate salesmen  and computer generated serial killers  sigh  thank god for desperado  the freewheeling sequel to el mariachidirector robert rodriguezs notorious 7000 debutstars a cool antonio banderas as the returning guitarist with no name  hes a man in black with revenge on his mind  and an arsenal in his case   the woman he loved was killed in the first film   so  he spends the entire story shooting drug dealers  sort of a texmex version of the punisher  if you will  there isnt much of an emotional core to desperado  rodriguez is having too much fun finding new and innovative ways to pay homage to john woo   and sergio leone    and sam peckinpah     some may wince at the body countat least 100 graphic killings is a fair estimatebut its all played for laughs  big  broad  hispanic laughs that  for me  recall the physical comedy of blake edwards and his pink panther films  sick  slick fun  
pos	if beavis and butthead had a favorite movie  from dusk till dawn would probably be it  scripted by quentin tarantino and directed by robert rodriguez  desperado   the movie panders to the very worst in sex and violence  and is incredibly fun to watch  it starts off as a pulp fictiontype crime story  with criminal brothers george clooney and tarantino robbing a convenience store  because this is a tarantino movie  however  its not just a case of pull the gun and take the loot  its a case of a hole being shot through someones hand  a man on fire jumping out behind the counter and the entire store blowing up as they drive away  the opening scene sets the tone for the rest of the movie  everything overdone and nothing as it seems  clooney and tarantino bring a hostage to the motel and then hijack an rv with a family in it  harvey keitel plays the backslidden expreacher and juliette lewis his daughter  whom registered sexpervert tarantino eyes endlessly  you know youre mentally unbalanced when you find lewis the least bit attractive  although shes not nearly as obnoxious as usual in from dusk till dawn  the first half of the movie has the criminals and hostages trying to get to and through the mexico border  clooneys strategy involving hiding in the rv shower while lewis is on the toilet  it does its trick  the border guard takes one look at lewis relieving herself and immediately goes blind  never noticing clooney or tarantino  once they get to mexico  its time to wait at the rendezvous point  a topless bar called titty twister where were once again reminded tarantino wrote the movie as he drinks champagne off the foot of a stripper  finally  after about ten minutes of intercut boob shots and clooney forcing keitel and lewis to drink with him  the stripper turns into a vampire  soon half the people in the bar are vampires and the other half fall or fight back  thats right  weve come all this way to see a vampire movie  but like everything else  tarantino takes this ageold genre and twists it to his own ends to produce overthetop entertainment  so we get holy water condom balloons  heads rolling  quadruple impalement on an overturned table and keitel getting bitten by a vampire and announcing he only has a few minutes left before he becomes  a lap dog of satan   the from dusk till dawn dialogue is 100 tarantino  hovering between absurd and disgusting  as when theyre entering the nightclub and cheech marin announces the main attractions of the titty twister   but always entertaining  and is a huge reason the movie is so much fun to watch instead of being one more secondrate gorefest  clooney  keitel and especially tarantino are so overthetop with their delivery that the dialogue is that much more hilarious  ensuring not one second of from dusk till dawn is taken the least bit seriously  stuff like this would be terrible in any other movie  but tarantino and rodriguez know exactly what to do to entertain people  even if theres absolutely no message or meaning to from dusk till dawn  pulp fiction had the vulgarity and violence for a reason  but this movie just throws it out for cheap entertainment  from dusk till dawn isnt the classic of modern cinema that pf is  but is does prove you can do a good job making a really bad movie  
pos	the smallscale film  in limited release   waking ned devine  is a pleasant excursion to a time and place which allows the audience to absorb the full texture of a small town  filled with breathtaking scenery  characters  and delightful music  the movie would be interesting even without a plot  the story contains several surprises which are best left unmentioned in a review  the film starts out with a sharp opening  which gives us a taste of what is to follow  country folk with an inclination for a bit of larceny  what gets things going is the fact that a winner of the lottery is apparently one of the residents in the small town  pop 52  of tullymore  who that person is  and how to share in the good fortune is the mission of two longtime friends jackie  ian bannen  and michael  david kelly   part detectives  part scalawags  they have to stay alert to the changing circumstances they face as the story unfolds  the village consists of several amusing characters  a clueless pig farmer  temporary priest  and a witch  theres also the lotto man who must be satisfied that everything is on the upandup  there are no hollywood touches to this film  except for the outer space introduction     pacing is right  towards the end  it runs a bit out of steam  but thats okay because for most of the 90 minutes weve been interested in the goings on  a mixture of laughs and  occasional  sentiment  all the right emotions are engaged  in one brief dream sequence  youll know it when you see it  a fantastic combination of color and music transports the characters to a place you really hope exists  one of the key moments in the film  the music  available on cd  london 289 460 9392  follows the same arc as the movie and is well worth considering  a fine film thats for everybody except action fans  somewhat like the englishman who went up a hill and came down a mountain      but livelier  
pos	warren beattys  bulworth  is a caustic political comedy that doesnt attack any particular political group  but rather the ingrained insincerity that has infected the american political system  some might think this film is vulgar  and in many ways it is  however  as loud and raucous as it is   bulworth  speaks the truth  which is almost always ugly to hear  beatty  who directed the film and cowrote the script with jeremy pikser   the lemon sisters    stars as incumbent u  s  senator jay billington bulworth  who has one of the best politician names in cinema history  bulworth is a democrat  and in beattys view  he is symbolic of everything that has gone wrong with the current democratic party  once an ideological liberal  like beatty still is   bulworth has long since succumbed to the materialistic pressures of washington  instead of waging the battles for the impoverished and the downtrodden  which was once the calling card of democrats  bulworth has become another sellout money hound  if hes not accepting illegal bribes from the insurance lobby or taking campaign contributions from the chinese  hes making windbag speeches that start with the amusingly clintonesqe statement   america is standing on the doorstep of a new millennium     blah  blah  blah   when the film opens  it is a few days before the 1996 primary elections  and bulworth is sitting at his desk weeping because he realizes how corrupt he has become  in a fit of desperation  he takes out a 10 million life insurance policy from a dirty insurance rep played by paul sorvino  part of a shady lobby deal to kill a threatening bill in committee   and then hires a hit man to kill him  although he doesnt know who the assassin will be  or when the hit will take place  knowing that he will soon be dead  bulworth unleashes his own brand of political rhetoric on the world  which is made up of politically incorrect truths about the state of american politics and the society in general  at a compton church  he tells the group of africanamericans that they will have no power in the u  s  unless they  put down that malt liquor and chicken wings  and get behind somebody other than a running back who stabs his wife   later  in a particularly hilarious sequence  bulworth mixes with the hollywood elite  then insults the quality of their movies and informs them that the only reason hes there is because  my guys always put the big jews on my schedule   all throughout this physically and politically suicidal escapade  bulworths chief of staff  dennis murphy  oliver platt   follows behind in a state of constant shock and bewilderment  platt has some of the movies funniest scenes  as he makes murphy into a politically savvy but nonetheless clueless assistant who is forced to watch his own career teeter at the brink of being flushed down the toilet  his constant halftruthtelling and spindoctoring to cover bulworths stampede is equaled in its perversion only by a selfrighteous reporter  nora dunn  who acts like murphys refusal to explain bulworths actions  something he really cannot do  is somehow an act of treason  when bulworth decides he wants to live after all  and therefore must constantly evade a grimlooking assassin to be whos trailing him at every turn  he hides out in the ghetto  complete with a stereotypical gangsta wardrobe which he wears to one of his television interviews  at this point  beatty abandons much of the political aspect and dives into a cartoonish exploration of the black innercity experience  bulworth becomes friendly with a young black woman named nina  halle berry   who he meets at the harlem church rally  she has a toughtalking brother who is deep in debt to a local gangster named l  d   don cheadle of  boogie nights    who also becomes involved in bulworths campaign  some of the scenes in the ghetto ring true  but much of it feels like a lighter version of scenes depicted in more intense innercity films like  boyznhood   1991  and  menace ii society   1993    bulworths  chief liability is beattys insistence on having his character adopt a clumsy style of rap as his new communication device  instead of speaking at political rallies  he breaks into a kind of rhythmless rap style that is a reminder of why almost all hiphop stars are black  its hard to tell whether beatty is being humorous by being so bad  or whether hes actually that incompetent  at any rate  the rap sounds more run d  m  c  than snoop doggy dogg  which makes the film seem dated instead of contemporary  beatty would have been better off simply adopting some of the innercity lingo and working that into his speeches  instead of trying to sound like l  l  cool j  other than that   bulworth  hits all its targets with wry  hilarious accuracy  the film is like a letter bomb to the democratic party  and even if you dont agree with beattys liberal message about the unrequited duties of the federal government  it is hard to deny the impact the film has in exploring the monetary and moral debauchery that infests modern politics  unlike  primary colors  which opened earlier this year   bulworth  doesnt try to tiptoe around the truly painful issues that hit close to home  instead  it takes them deadon  
pos	when i saw the trailer for this film  i laughed harder than i had in quite some time  while i was therefore pretty well psyched to see it  i was ever mindful that a trailer can make even the most mediocre film look good  im happy to say that theres something about mary is not one of those trailer letdowns  in fact  watching this film was quite a fine way to spend two hours  the film opens up in flashback to 1985  at a high school in cumberland  rhode island  ted stroehmann  ben stiller  is a social reject who cant seem to get a date to the upcoming prom  until he comes to the defense of the mentally retarded warren  w  earl brown   whos being harassed by one of the school jocks  it seems warrens sister is the campus queen  mary jensen  cameron diaz   who is impressed with teds willingness to stand up for her defenseless brother  despite a very real chance of getting beaten up  mary takes an immediate liking to ted and asks him to the prom  ted was just flattered that she even knew his name  unfortunately  prom night is ruined when ted has an accident with his zipper  at which every man in the theater will wince   and is sent to the hospital  fast forward to the present  where ted has cleaned himself up  now writes for a magazine  but has weekly therapy sessions in order to deal with his obsession of the past 13 years  mary  whom he hasnt seen since that fateful day  with the help of his friend dom  chris elliott   ted hires slimy private investigator pat healy  matt dillon  to track down his only love  however  when pat finds mary  he falls for her too  and soon the both of them are competing for her affections  theres something about mary is directed by bobby and peter farrelly  who brought us dumb and dumber and kingpin  not exactly intelligent comedies  they are of the guilty pleasure variety where you might not want your friends or coworkers to think you had such a great time watching them  with their current film  the farrelly brothers have come up with something youll not only enjoy  but also wont mind talking about the next day at the water cooler  the film succeeds in employing a pretty wide range of comedic styles  from the subtle to the ridiculous  and while a few of the gags might be offensive to some  seeming like residuals from the farrelly brothers last two films  they almost all work  i have not seen many movies in the recent past that shoot for the mark and so often hit it dead on  one minute youll be laughing at something ted says  and the next youll be howling at the sight of a dog dragging him across the floor of marys apartment  one of the great things this film has going for it is ben stiller  he is perfectly cast in the role of ted  because hes a guy who just looks awkward in almost every situation  teds a nice fellow and tries to do his best  but for some reason or another things just dont always work out  its comical  but also has that kind of appeal where you really feel for the him and want him to come out on top  actually  ive liked stiller since he did a short which aired on saturday night live back in the mideighties  the film was like a theatrical trailer for a spoof on the tom cruisepaul newman film the color of money  entitled the hustler of money  in it  stiller played wince  not vince  who is taken under the wing of an older man  played by john mahoney  to become a bigtime bowling hustler  it was parody at its finest  more of which showed up in the shortlived  the ben stiller show  on the fox network in late 92early 93  like  the critic   which aired on abc  then fox   i still mourn that shows cancellation  cameron diaz is absolutely enchanting for most of the film  although her character seems obsessed with perfection in the men she dates  and some of the qualities she looks for make mary look paperthin at times  however  diaz pulls the role off with such panache and charm  that you can still see why shes got guys just falling over each other to be with her  heck  i even found her laugh to be cute  even though i thought it was annoying during an appearance she made on the tonight show last week  my girlfriend remarked that matt dillon doesnt change  and you know  its really true  he and ralph macchio must hang out or something  maybe they live in dick clarks pool house  anyway  heres another good piece of casting  as dillon slips beautifully into the role of the guy who tries to worm his way into marys heart  the supporting performances are also good  chris elliott has a bigger part than in the abyss  yes  check it out next time   and less annoying than in cabin boy  lin shae  who plays marys neighbor magda  and also appeared as the landlady in kingpin   provides some good laughs  especially in scenes with her benjilike dog  which acts as the focal point for a few of the funniest moments of the film  lee evans  as marys friend tucker  displays a flexibility in acting and accents which surprises and contributes to an interesting plot twist  the farrelly brothers and scriptwriters ed decter and john j  strauss keep the comedic pacing going so that there arent any noticeable times where the film drags  the only problem i saw was their use of a couple of musicians who provide segues between several key scenes  they appear out of nowhere and actually sing plotrelevant information right toward the camera  its a device which was amusing for about three seconds when they opened the film  after that it got a little annoying  and its unfortunate that those spots interrupt what would otherwise be a smooth flow  fortunately  filled with sight gags  humorous lines  and solid comedic acting  theres something about mary will still have you laughing after you leave the theater  
pos	plot  a young recruit gets plucked out of nowhere by the number one gangster in london and quickly becomes a staple by his side  but this new guy is not like all the others  hes got ambition  hes got goals and he loves everything he sees about being the number one gangster  violence  lots of swearing and betrayals ensue  critique  a very good  seriousminded  unique british gangster flick which misses the  great  mark by way of an annoying voiceover popping up throughout the film and a soso ending  heres yet another cool crime movie that actually manages to bring something new into the mix  okay  so its not entirely new  but its definitely original when all put together as done here  the thing i liked most about this movie was its authentic portrayal of the time period in which it was taking place  its 1968 and these dudes are looking good  yes  its all about the suits  fellas    the italian shoes  the cufflinks  the ties and the birds  thats ladies  for those uninitiated  hanging around you  here are a bunch of horrible men  gangsters if you will  looking sharp  talking shit and busting heads all over the place  but thats not the basis of this movie  the basis of this film comes in the relationship between the number one gangster in the group  the excellent david thewlis  and one of his cronies  paul bettany  also extremely good in this film  and how the power  sex appeal and coolness of one  affects the other  you know how there are always these  hangeron  gangster types who latch on to the godfathers  the leaders  the top dogs of every crime organization  well  most of the time  these dudes are screened beforehand and are loyal to only one person    that is  their boss  so all the gangster number one needs to worry about is his enemies on the other side of the fence  but this film brings the betrayals  the messed up loyalties  the honor codes among bad guys into play within the same group and presents it in quite the stylistic package  of course  director paul mcguigan isnt trying to be guy ritchie here  and doesnt overstylize his presentation  jazz it all up with a hip soundtrack or add any humor to the mix  nope  he goes straight for the serious stuff and develops at least two particular scenes which are still embedded in my mind as i type this  the first is a confrontation sequence between bettany and a man from which hes attempting to sway some information and it is downright nasty    look into my eyes    in fact  the last time that ive seen a guy so scared in a movie was john turturro in that forest scene from the coen brothers millers crossing  scary shite  but theres an ever better scene than that in this film  this one features bettany  once again  slowly torturing  hacking and beating the living piss out of a rival gangster  from that mans pointofview   but not before turning on a quaint little tune in the background and removing all of his own expensive clothes  one by one  thats right  he  does  the guy in his underwear   that scene is also in tune with some of the obvious phallic and homoerotic undertones present throughout this film  especially in the relationship between bettany and his boss  why does he get so upset when he falls in love with that woman    but the flicks not perfect  in fact  i didnt mind malcolm mcdowells voiceover narration at first  but as the film grew into a major flashback  most of the film is presented as such   he came in every now and then  and rarely added anything of interest to the plot  all he seemed to do was swear and call people the cword umpteen times  and even described one scene as it was happening      so i opened the door  then went up the lift  etc      its like  yeah  i know that already  i could see it on the screen   overdone    i also didnt quite  buy  the ending of the movie  which despite being original  seemed a little unbelievable  especially when you consider that its supposed to be taking place 30 years later  and folks still seem to be holding grudges  still in love  still living in the same apartments     i mean  cmon    its 30 years  man   i dont know  somehow it didnt work all that well for me  but one of my favorite genres has always been the crime movies  and this one is a decent addition to the lot  forget the lame title and malcolm mcdowells narration of the obvious plot points  and concentrate on the films stronger attributes such as its style  the exquisite atmosphere of the time period  its original look at the gangster dynamic within the same group  its memorable sequences and the solid performances from its two main leads  bettany and thewlis  incidentally  unlike a few of the gangster flicks that i mention below  this one is in no way a parody or homage to this genre of films    its the real deal  note  this film is packed with strong accents all around  which makes it hard to make out some of the words from time to time  its also quite violent and i dont remember any film that used the cword as much as this one  so leave the kids at home for this one      wheres joblo coming from  american psycho  1010   a clockwork orange  910   donnie brasco  810   fight club  1010   get carter  710   godfather  1010   godfather ii  1010   goodfellas  1010   lock  stock  two smoking barrels  810   pulp fiction  810   reservoir dogs  910  
pos	bruce lee was a biggerthanlife martial artist  and  actor  bruces unique character  i  e   selfproduced sound effects  etc   and seemingly perfected martial art and physique were all well portrayed by the actor  james lee  the story is told from his wife lindas point of view where she put a lot of family and practical side of bruce lees life  however  you cant help but like  whenever the fight scenes are on  what he can does with his body and that familiar bruce attitude and character  i also like the little bits of insight scenes about bruce lees life before he became famous  scenes like bruce practicing pronunciation of english  it seemed as if he was no better than anybody else  scenes like bruce delivering chinese food as a delivery boy ridding a bike through the american college looking at the  allwhite  students  cheerleaders  and athletes  it seemed he too wished for the american dreams and hopes  in conclusion  the movie was well made  it produced a realization of who bruce lee was  and actor james lee was so much like bruce you have to remind yourself that he is just an actor  and the fighting scenes were all excellent  so go see it and enjoy the movie  p  s  if you have seen the movie unforgiven by clint eastwood  then the feeling left after dragon was very much like the feeling you got after the unforgiven  
pos	clint eastwood  in his ripe old age  is cashing one talent in for another  midnight in the garden of good and evil is an eastwooddirected film clint isnt even in  and its damn good  adapted from a bestselling john berendt novel based on true events  this movie is set in the bizarre georgia town of savannah  where people walk invisible dogs and attach horseflies to their head  and thats just the mayor  as director and producer  eastwood contributes a self indulgent but very competent 150 minutes  neatly balancing drama  suspense and humor  like all great movies  midnight in the garden has a lot of funny moments that spring from the characters themselves  and not from some contrived  juvenile intrusion  the acting  from bigtime stars john cusack and kevin spacey  is as good as youd expect  but its the supporting stable that gives the movie its offbeat charm  cusack plays a freelance reporter sent to savannah to write a fluff story for town  country magazine about one of eccentric millionaire spaceys parties  lots of food  beverages and gunplay  yes  an employee of spaceys has a huge argument in front of cusack and later turns up dead  it seems like a simple matter of self defense  the guy threatened spacey  shot at him  missed  then spacey took him out  but being a movie  theres much more to it than that  and cusack decides to stay in town and write a book about the murder  a book which will eventually become a movie he will star in  the weird circle of entertainment  this is where the stable of supporting characters comes in  theres the requisite sexy woman  alison  nepotists daughter  eastwood   the strange piano player  the voodoo woman and the transvestite  miss chablis deserves a paragraph of hisher own  as the stealer of every scene she appears in  what would this movie be without the castilian scene and her testimony  chablis  playing herself  is five times funnier than reigning drag queen rupaul  but never seems exploited as the movies comic relief or out of place in a basically serious movie  there are also a fair share of courtroom scenes  which these days almost never seem welcome in a movie  but even here clint manages to keep the movie fascinating  certainly the characterizations of the judge and spaceys lawyer both help immensely  as does having the flyguy as the jurys foreman  its here we realize the case boils down to an indictment of spaceys homosexuality  yes  spacey had a sexual relationship with the dead man  before he shot him  of course  midnight in the garden of good and evil isnt a classic  but it is one of the better celebritydirected  truestory bestseller adaptations out there  likewise  no one from this movie will be getting any oscar nominations  but the performances are all great  in fact  id almost recommend that the academy add a best supporting transvestite category  serving america for more than 125th of a century  
pos	meet joe black is your classic boymeetsgirl  boylikesgirl  boygetskilledinhorribleaccident  supernaturalentitytakesoverboysbody  supernaturalentityfallsinlovewithgirl story  based on the 1934 film death takes a holiday  meet joe black is a well acted romantic drama which explores the meanings of life and love  william parrish  anthony hopkins  is a billionaire businessman on the brink of his 65th birthday  he has built a huge media empire  and raised two beautiful daughters  allison  marcia gay harden  and susan  claire forlani   william has been able to negotiate his way out of many tough spots    but he has suddenly begun fearing his own mortality  the one situation he wont be able to talk his way out of  and he has good reason to fear  for death himself is stalking him  however  death has a deal to make  death has taken possession of a man who has recently died  brad pitt   and wants william to be his guide in a holiday among the living  in return  william gets to live a few extra days  of course  he agrees  death  under the human name of  joe black   gets to experience life as a complete innocent  he never before has experienced the simple pleasures of a springy matters or peanut butter  and hes not quite compared for the more complex pleasures when he and susan fall in love  but  is their affair doomed to an early demise  at nearly three hours in length  meet joe black is a little bit on the leisurely side  though it never gets boringly lengthy  instead  the film gets a chance to develop some nicely textured characters and situations  you get to soak in and enjoy the atmosphere  rather than being hurriedly rushed through it  the romantic angle works well  though  surprisingly  the interactions between joe black and william parrish are more interesting than those with his daughter  this is most likely due to anthony hopkins  who once again displays his superb acting skills  william is a desperate man who has had a seemingly ideal life  and doesnt want to let it go  by contrast  claire forlani is merely the romantic interest  she gets to show joe the ropes of love  but is hardly as interesting a character  as joe black  brad pitt seems a bit stilted  granted  hes supposed to be outofplace  but the overly formal technique used by pitt begins to distract from the role  still  he is able to hold his own  and over the course of the three hours  his character begins to grow on you  the main character who seems out of place here is drew  jake weber   an ambitious executive in williams company who is joe blacks main rival for susans affections  weber plays the character with a hammy relish reminiscent of snidley whiplash  this cartoonish foil an aberration in a film filled many more dimensional characters  the supernatural elements of the film are handled murkily  but never distractingly so  we never learn what is the exact nature of death  or why hes never done something like this before  it actually gets a bit creepy when death talks to the dying in their own voicesaccents   his initial conversations with hopkins sound shockingly like hannibal lecter     and the ultimate resolution to one of the films supernatural problems seems  well  somewhat superficial  still  even with the films length  it was a pleasant time at the movies  something you wouldnt necessarily expect from a film about death    but one which meet joe black delivers anyhow  
pos	buffalo  66 is a very rarely known movie that stars vincent gallo and christina ricci  gallo plays a very troubled man  who was sent to jail for gambling  once out of jail  he must visit his parents  who he told he was married  the truth is he isnt married  to try to impress them  he kidnaps a girl  christina ricci  from a tap dancing class to act as his wife  the film is very cheaply made  and it shows it throughout a lot of the movie  but you dont need money to make a good film  buffalo  66 doesnt always stay with the realistic concept  and sometimes goes through outrageous events  gallos parents  played by angelica huston and ben gazarra  are two very strange individuals  the mother plays a football fanatic and the father plays a quiet man with odd habits  gallo and ricci arrive at his parents house  and some extremely funny scenes take place within the house  riccis performance during the scene at gallos parents home are very well done  there is constantly humor involved in the interesting dinner table scenes  the way the movie was filmed in this particular part of the movie were interesting and creative  they seemed very mediocre  but they worked out just fine  gallos character is developed very well  the impression that he is very depressed and confused is very clear  gallo gives a performance that makes you believe what the character is going through  his character goes through many  many problems  just like many people in real life  this character seemed very realistic to me  riccis character is funny and different  she doesnt care much that she has been kidnaped  in fact  she falls in love the man who kidnaped her  ricci is a very wonderful actress and she is starting to get the recognition that she deserves  buffalo  66 isnt all laughs though  many scenes are very dramatic and depressing  gallos character was so realistic  he was extremely disturbing  some scenes are supposed to come off as funny  but they actually seemed sad and real to life  the film sometimes drags along  not giving much material  i really would have liked to see gallos parents a lot more  and i would have liked to see the characters developed more  overall  buffalo  66 isnt as good as some people put it up to be  the bottom line a few hysterical scenes save this film from sinking to the bottom  
pos	after being hypnotized  a man believes there is a ghost in his house  the review two lowkey summer horror films have become surprise financial successes this year  the blair witch project and the sixth sense  each has made well over 100 million in north america  based on a combination of strong word of mouth and clever advertising  if a films box office take were based primarily on its quality  stir of echoes would join blair and sense in grossing far more money than expected  for it is as scary  if not scarier than the other two  writerdirector david koepp has given artisan entertainment  the folks who distributed blair witch a second creepy hit  the story gets going after tom witzky  bacon   an average bluecollar dad  gets hypnotized by his wife maggies  erbe  sister lisa  douglas  at a party  while the hypnosis goes as expected to the partygoers  it triggers something in toms head  things begin to change around him  blinking red lights let off a strange hum  for example   and he fights to stay in control of his own senses  where these experiences take tom  maggie and their son jake  cope   who tom thinks might have some answers  is down a dark path that will scare and disturb you  david koepp keeps the action localized  the majority of the action takes place at toms house or just down the street  by keeping things at home  koepp is able to proceed without having to resort to any clumsy segues  montages of driving down roads as we move from one city to another etc    unfortunately  the dread and spookiness of stir of echoes are frequently interrupted by moments of levity  humour can take the tension away from a scene faster than any shoddy special effect or poor acting  several tense moments become completely diffused by a few misplaced jokes  also  there are a couple of plot developments that are left unresolved  though to mention them would be to give too much away  kevin bacon handles the duel task of playing an everyman and a man losing his sanity admirably  his total lack of understanding of what is happening to him is believable  as are the reactions from his wife maggie  kathryn erbe is given a role meatier and better written than that of most  wife who can no longer handle her husband  parts  while it is still a supporting role  her maggie is moving as she watches both her husband and her son enter what she calls  a private club that im not invited to   where they whisper about things all day long  as jake  zachary cope equals the performance of haley joel osment in the sixth sense  but gets less screen time  both children manage the same trick  making the audience creeped out by their apparent acceptance of the way things are  fans of blair and sixth sense will almost surely love stir of echoes  it combines the dread of blair  a creepy closedin feel thanks to cinematographer fred murphy and great performances by the whole cast  specifically bacon  to give the fall its first genuine scary film  if only they had let up on the unneeded funny bits and tweaked the plot a bit more  this could have been one of the years best  
pos	being the selfproclaimed professional film critic that i am  i am somewhat embarrassed to admit that i had not seen lawrence of arabia  coming soon to dvd  until only recently  after all  its considered by just about everyone to be the masterpiece epic of director david lean  who also directed films such as bridge on the river kwai  and doctor zhivago  so one day  a friend of mine loaned me a copy of the video and i sat down and watched it  i was initially skeptical that something made almost 40 years ago would be able to keep my attention for the buttnumbing 3 12 hours of its duration  but now i fully understand why this has become the film that other epic films are judged against  the winner of seven academy awards in 1963 for best picture  director  editing  cinematography  art direction  music  and sound  after watching the film again  i am convinced that it is simply one of the finest works of cinematic genius to ever illuminate the big screen  based on the autobiographical writing of british officer t  e  lawrence during world war i  lawrence of arabia depicts lawrence  played by thenunknown actor peter otoole  as a lieutenant lacking any sort of military discipline whatsoever  bored with his assignment of coloring maps for the british army in a dimly lit headquarters building  lawrence jumps at the opportunity to be reassigned as an observer for an arabian prince fighting against the turkish army  lawrence quickly sees just how caring and great these desert dwelling people can be and ends up rallying the various tribes together to fight the turks and help the british turn the tide of world war i  shot in panavisions famed super 70mm format  the film beautifully illustrates the definition of the word epic  it is absolutely breathtaking  using stunning cinematography  costuming  and direction  shot in the most uninhabitable location on the face of the earth  i can only imagine what it must have been like to sit in a theater in 1962 and watch this story unfold before my eyes  every shot is choreographed as a portrait  a living tribute to a great land  david lean put his reputation on the line to get this film completed  and the fact that it was even greenlit in the first place says something about the ideology of the motion picture industry at the time  a far cry from its pathetic  uncreative existence today  after watching the film  the first thing that came to my mind was   ive got to do a remake of this film   but then i thought about trying to pitch the idea to a modernday movie executive   okay  its going to be almost four hours long and shot over three months on location in the sahara desert  we are going to need to blow up a fullsize train because computergenerated effects probably wont do it justice  and we are not going to use any big stars  and wont have any female actors since theres no love story   yes  my friends  the velvet curtain fell on the goldenera of hollywood a long time ago  but at least we still have the proof to show all wouldbe producers and directors out there just how good a film can be  
pos	my summer was recently saved by two very different movies  on opening night  i saw american pie 2 and laughed like a moron  then a few nights later  i watched and thoroughly enjoyed joel hershmans greenfingers even though it didnt feature a trip to band camp  girlongirl action  or seann william scott  however  i felt just as good leaving american pie 2 as i did after leaving greenfingers  which tells the offbeat tale of british murderer colin briggs  clive owen of croupier   after spending roughly half of his life behind bars  he is transferred to a more lenient facility  edgefield  the picaresque  rustic prison allows its inmates to learn a trade  while enjoying accommodations generally found at most colleges  at first  briggs doesnt want to be there  hes used to living as a prisoner and wants to be left alone  however  his ailing roommate  fergus  david kelly of waking ned devine   wears briggs down through his benign nature  the two become friends  with fergus giving colin a packet of violet seeds as a christmas gift  briggs is astonished when the violets grow in the limestone soil  and begins a fight with three other prisoners when an errant soccer ball smashes his beloved flowers  after the prisons governor  warren clarke  reprimands them  hes awed at what briggs has accomplished  and hes struck by an idea  briggs  fergus and the other men will grow a garden on the prisons grounds  greenfingers  which is  inspired by actual events   becomes a bit like a sports movie after that  despite their differences  the men come together and through hard work and love earn a spot at the big game  in this case a prestigious garden show  one renegade  in this case  briggs  will prove to have talent  of course  love will also rear its head  no  not  prison love    to hershmans credit  he doesnt pump up the drama or try for cheap laughs  like last years lame marijuana comedy saving grace  i had to keep pinching myself when i didnt see a single scene of a hardened con sneezing over a pot of pansies  or the men giving highfives over a particularly stunning batch of wildflowers  the movie deals with people and scores on that concept  its wonderful seeing briggs turn from a bitter prisoner to a man who cares again  give credit to owen for keeping his cool in a part that begs for overacting  his speech to the parole board about being reborn through gardening is the best scene of its kind since morgan freemans last stand in the shawshank redemption  owens bedside scenes with kelly  who lends the film a human touch  are a marvel to behold  emotionally gripping without being sappy  written by hershman  greenfingers contains plenty of laughs  most come courtesy of helen mirren  who shines as the worldclass gardener who works with the inmates but fears for her daughter primrose  natasha little  when she starts dating briggs  the mother cant believe what hell do if her daughter  burns the sunday roast   nothing is forced in greenfingers  the funny lines come forth naturally in conversations and not from punch lines  primrose and briggs relationship takes awkward steps  even when briggs decides to go back to edgefield  its done for reasons of loyalty  not because the movie requires him to do so  after grimacing through the forced screwball antics of movies like americas sweethearts and the princess dairies  its an almost indescribable pleasure to see a director taking his time to tell a story very well  
pos	so many students strive to get into schools such as harvard of princeton  but they just dont get the good grades  so many students would do anything to reach their goal of getting into this schools  legend has it that if your roommate commits suicide  the remaining roommates will get an automatic 4  0  chris  michael vartan  and tim  matthew lillard  are two guys who really want the 4  0 to get into harvard  how far will they go to get their 4  0  chris and tim are also roommates with rand  played by randall batinkoff  the two scheme to murder rand  make it look like a suicide  so they can supposedly get their 4  0  they have heard this rumor many places  and they are willing to take the chance to find out  rand is a very  very mean person  he treats his girlfriend natalie  played by tamara craig thomas  like she doesnt matter at all  she is very afraid of him  and she especially afraid now that she must tell him she is pregnant  she does tell him  and he becomes enraged  that night would be the last night of rands life  tim and chris give rand a bottle of rat poison  making him think that it is beer  rand drinks down the poison  and then dies  now  tim pushes him off of a mountain with a suicide note near the site to make it look like he killed himself  it does not take long until the suicide note is found  but the body isnt found  the police question chris and tim about rand to try and find any information  feeling extreme guilt  chris is having a very hard time  especially with his girlfriend  emma  played by keri russell  she wants to know more  but he will not even speak with her  will he give in  will tim turn chris in  will chris turn tim in  will they turn themselves in  all of these questions were running through my mind while watching this slick suspense film  the events in the curve are very surprising  original  and fun  the plot sounds much like dead man on campus  but that is not the deal with this film  this film is a very serious one  with not many laughs  there are many twists and turns that make this film different from most films  the ending in particular is completely unpredictable and satisfying  it is a terrific  suspenseful ending that i could never predict would happen  hands down to dan rosen who wrote this wild ride  the sound really stood out in the film  it is quite eerie and it really adds to the feel of the film  the way the movie is filmed is also great  all of the technical aspects  as well as the acting and directing aspects are very well done  the performances in the curve are very good  matthew lillard gets to play another creepy role  just like in 1996s scream   a  he is very strange in this film as well  i like him in this sort of role  rather than the roles he has been playing in comedies such as senseless and shes all that  michael vartan is fantastic as chris  who has extremely mixed emotions about the entire murder and the 4  0  michael vartan was also superb in never been kissed  where he costarred with drew barrymore as a teacher who fell in love with his student  keri russell also gives a great performance  she should be a good actress in the horror department of the film  tamara craig thomas is also realistic  especially coping with the death of her boyfriend  some very strong supporting performances came from smaller roles  such as bo dietl and anthony griffith who play two detectives investigating the case  the bottom line i might just have to curve that a into an a   note the curve premiered at the sundance film festival in early 1998  it was decided the film would not be released widely  it is now available at blockbuster video only  and for rent only  see you at the video store  
pos	available for rental  october 12  1999 10 things i hate about you is an update of the classic play  the taming of the shrew  that said  drop any preconceived notions of what shakespeares work is supposed to be like and welcome yourself to padua high school  home of a student counselor  allison janney  who obsesses over the male penis  a slightly too hip and racist africanamerican english teacher  daryl mitchell   a new kid named cameron  joseph gordonlevitt   a model named joey  andrew keegan   the subject of cameron and joeys crushes  bianca  larisa oleynik   and biancas sister  the shrew  julia stiles in a marvelous performance   whose name is katarina  kat for short  with movies about high schools similar to these running through projectors like water down the nile  it would be quite easy to write off 10 things i hate about you as just another doltish comedicromance  yet  you must realize that the story is timeless  and a few hundred years later it is equally as witty and comical as when elizabeth gleefully looked on  groundlings below and stuffed brassieres on stage  the first reminder of the original scribe can be found in katarina and biancas last name  stratford  their family is run by walter stratford  pretty womans larry miller   a doctor who is all too familiar with teenage pregnancy and guards his children accordingly  in what he thinks to be a moment of ironic humor  the family  no dating  policy is amended to  bianca can date    when katarina does   with prom just ahead  biancas fate is grim  unless  of course  she can tame the shrew  dont think this mission to be a simple one  as bianca kindly points out  her sister     is a particularly hideous breed of loser   getting katarina to date is complex and oftentimes confusing  when cameron  who likes bianca  learns of her fathers new rule  he is quick to consult a friend for advice  the scheme they dream up is to fully exploit  someone with money   in this case  that is joey  the other guy with a crush on bianca  camerons friend  a loser by teenage verdict  convinces joey to pay someone who has enough guts to take the shrew out  the solution lies no farther away than the second blatant reminder of the master scribe  patrick verona  heath ledger   this verona is far from fair  rumor has it that he previously laid his scene in prison  moreover  katarina openly opined to the aforementioned english teacher that  hemingway was an alcoholic who hung around picasso  hoping to nail his leftovers   the laws of high school cinema inexorably turn patrick and katarina into romeo and juliet  providing a constant reminder of the fact that this isnt exactly what shakespeare had in mind are the elements obligatory to a high school comedy  a party polluted with liquor  a best friends betrayal  and prom  it is the latter that has become infamous for closing films like drive me crazy  american pie  never been kissed  carrie  shes all that  and cant hardly wait  yet surely even these practices have roots in shakespeare  falstaff was a drunk  romeo and juliet met at a party  and caesar learned about loyalty the hard way  
pos	my filmcritic  com colleague norm schrager nailed session 9  brad andersons throwback to spooky horror films from the 70s  it worked as an eerie homage without being selfreferential or smugly postmodern  genre aficionados will acknowledge the similarities in tone to stanley kubricks the shining and george romeros dawn of the dead without being taken out of the engrossing narrative  i  e   a psychologically addled waste management team clears out an abandoned lunatic asylum  unspeakable dread ensues   in a doublewhammy for 2001  anderson shoots and  mostly  scores again with his eclectic riff on timetravel episodes from the twilight zone  appropriately titled happy accidents  much like session 9  the cards are played very close to the vest here  is boyish  eccentric  sam deed from dubuque  iowa  a futuristic voyager from the year 2470 or just your runofthemill psychologically disturbed nutcase let loose on the presentday streets of nyc  as played by wonderful character actor vincent donofrio  full metal jacket   its up in the air whether or not we should accept his detailed monologues about life after the polar ice caps have melted  the question proves to be moot  at least for a time  even if the whole thing proves to be a creative delusion  one agrees with the character judgment passed down on him by his new girlfriend  ruby  marisa tomei    hes a freak  but he sure tells a good story   neurotic ruby thinks she may have found true love after a series of nightmarish dating disasters  the junkie  the fetishist  the artist  the frenchman  etc    but isnt quite sure how to handle  sam deed  when he starts explaining the barcode on his arm  his elaborately constructed fake identity  his pathological fear of dogs  his ability to speak five different languages  and his mission to change a crucial moment in time that may have ramifications on times alternate realities   dont ask   its all a bit much to take in  rubys close friend gretchen  cuz ya cant have a love story without the token friend  though nadia dajani invests the thankless role with warmth  chalks it up as a sexy roleplaying game  but her cautious therapist  holland taylor  warns her that codependency is rearing its ugly head again and shes in over her head with yet another doomed relationship  who ya gonna believe  despite her winning an academy award  marisa tomei has always struck me as an annoying and unwelcome screen presence  one that undermines the pleasure of watching happy accidents  her brassy new yawk attitude never really meshes with her desperate desire to appear  cute  to her adoring fans  being loud and flashing a  disingenuous  smile does not necessarily equal  substantial and sexy   it takes more than a crack team of hair and wardrobe people to imbue her with personality  then theres that damned voice  which strains to be ohsoadorable  look  this stuff is purely subjective  some people feel this way about richard gere  others cannot bear to watch robin williams hyperactive schtick  for my money  its m  tomei with a bullet  happy accidents is a romantic comedy filtered through twelve monkeys  or  more appropriately  chris markers la jetee  especially with those still framed  memory  photographs anderson employs as a stylistic device throughout   modern manhattan is filmed with an otherworldly  vaguely alien eye with a color scheme oddly reminiscent of logans run  as the stranger in a strange land  donofrio walks slightly outofstep  wonderfully affable but often inscrutable with his wayward expressions and bemused detachment  this is science fiction told mainly via the power of suggestion  though it often falls into the scifi trap of having entirely too much forced exposition  we want deeds  not words   at least twenty minutes too long  happy accidents eventually gets around to a raceagainsttime scenario that puts  sam deed  to the ultimate test  no movie can live in ambiguity forever  but anderson seems terminally unable to provide satisfactory conclusions to his otherwise well structured recent narratives   lets pretend the loathsome and predictable next stop wonderland never happened  shall we   there are also some slow  repetitive stretches as ruby and sam go over the same arguments again and again over whether or not hes crazy  the premise is strong enough to sustain interest  but its enough to throw a nod in the general direction of rod serling for wrapping up his ideas in halfhour time slots  commercials included  
pos	what i look for in a movie is not necessarily perfection  sometimes a movie has such strong ideas that despite whatever flaws it may have  i will prefer it to a bettermade film that is not as thoughtprovoking  the thin red line is flawed but it provokes  terence malick returns to filmmaking 20 years after days of heaven and produces this meditative look at war  unlike this years saving private ryan  which dwells on war as a necessary evil and explores the moral ambiguities thereof  the thin red line simply says war is waste  while that might seem obvious to some  only after experiencing the film do you realize how profound a waste it is  saving private ryan has an underlying and practical acceptance that war will occur and it has a great cost  the thin red line says idealistically avoid this at all costs  one message is not necessarily more correct than the other  it just depends on ones point of view  in malicks film  war is set in a tropical paradise  and john tolls cinematography is beyond lush  the setting poses the question  why are we fighting in the face of such beauty  in saving private ryan  the capture of a german soldier presents the moral quandary of whether to let him go  in the thin red line  the japanese present the moral quandary of war in the first place  they are just like the americans  frightened and angry  grieving and praying  all that separates them is war  the flaw in the thin red line comes in the voiceovers  unbelievable as coming from the characters and sometimes pretentious  sometimes corny  the voiceovers tell us what the images before us already do and are completely unnecessary  dispensing with them  malick could have achieved a tarkovskian grandeur  instead  he gets distracting selfconsciousness  aside from that  malicks direction is stunning  the tracking shots across windswept hills and around transports speeding toward shore are extraordinary  sean penn  elias koteas  and nick nolte give the best performances  penn is subtle as a sergeant trying to hide his humanism  koteas is genuine as a compassionate captain  and nolte startling as a colonel whose blood vessels are about to burst if he cannot win his battle  john travolta and george clooney are the worst in cameo roles  ultimately however  the thin red lines interest is not in the characters and it is not in drama  it has been frequently criticized for its lack of dramatic structure  but malick clearly has different things on his mind  has no one ever thought that getting dramatic entertainment from war is exploitative  what malick is working with is theme  and in that  the thin red line is most provoking  
pos	mike myers  you certainly did throw us a  frickin bone here in what you call  the biggest austin powers adventure yet   austin powers  the spy who shagged me is the sequel to the 1997 smash comedy austin powers  international man of mystery  many are skeptical about sequels  saying that the sequel is never better or as good as the original  but austin powers  tswsm goes beyond the first film  austin powers  the spy who shagged me stars mike myers in three different roles  he reprises his role as the title character  austin powers  the shagadelic spy whose body was frozen in 1967  and unfrozen in 1997 to stop his long time nemesis dr  evil  also played by mike myers  from destroying the earth  tswsm leaves off where the original stopped  with dr  evils  frischs big boy space capsule floating through space  dr  evil returns back to earth by ejecting from his capsule  plotting to go back in his time machine to the year 1967  in which he plans to steal austin powers  mojo   what keeps austin going with spy talents  upon his return to his secret lair  which is now a starbucks coffee shop  dr  evil learns that his evil henchman  which includes the returning robert wagner as number 2 and mindy sterling as frau  have created a 18 size clone of dr  evil  which is later named mini me  the evil mini me replaces scott evil  played by seth green  as dr  evils son in the madmans mind  because dr  evil thinks of scott to be only  quasievil   dr  evil has always wanted a son that is evil just like him  and now he has one  dr  evil tells mini me   you complete me   in a loving manner  dr  evil loving  wow  mike myers third role is as fat bastard  a scottish henchman of dr  evils  who is sent to steal the mojo from austin powers frozen body  austin powers learns of dr  evils trip back into the 60s  and uses his own time machine to take him back to 1967  to try to save his mojo before fat bastard gets a hold of it  once arriving in the year 1967  austin travels to his  pad   his smashing homedance club  where he meets felicity shagwell  played by heather graham  a cia agent who is willing to help him in his journey to stop dr  evil  as the film progresses  hilarious one liners are thrown at us  mainly by dr  evil  for example   dont go there  girlfriend   to the president of the united states  many witty gags take place  note the entire tent scene  and just plain  funny scenes which are so stupid theyre funny come a dozen per fifteen minutes  take for example  scott evil going on the jerry springer show complaining about how evil his father is  the way austin powers  tswsm uses its humor is clever  throwing a hilarious scene at you  followed by five minutes of one liners  followed by another outrageous scene  so you never stop laughing  there was honestly not one moment in austin powers  tswsm where i wasnt laughing  the last film that i laughed so hard in  was well  austin powers  it is apparent that mike myers knew how funny this film was while writing it  the film even makes fun of itself in a line  something along the lines of   its funny how england and southern california look nothing alike   tswsm was filmed in southern california  but was supposed to take place in england  i can tell you one thing he is having a lot of fun with this enormously popular character  which is all over television  newspapers  magazines  and the movie theaters  i believe that dr  evil got more attention in the tswsm than austin powers did  dr  evil provided more laughs  more memorable moments  and more interesting dialogue than austin did this time around  who seems to missing the funny touch that he had in the first film  i felt that austin really did have his mojo taken away  but from screenplay writer mike myers  not fat bastard  also making a great addition to the series is mini me  who is played by verne troyer  even though the midget actor is 30 years old  he is adorable by dr  evils side constantly  the first austin powers film had barely any sentimental quality  such as lack of character development  barely any detailed plot characteristics  and barely any good acting  but austin powers tswsm actually shows some quality behind the frequent humor  mike myers  with his three roles  acts as eddie murphy did in the nutty professor  disguising himself completely in one of the roles   fat bastard  all three characters are different  and mike myers does do a good job handling each one of them  heather graham made a great addition with her talent to tswsm  and does a much better job than elizabeth hurley did  who gave a very flat performance in the original  speaking her lines without any feeling or emotion  speaking of hurley  she can be seen in tswsm for a few brief moments  hopefully  graham tags along for future austin powers adventures  the bottom line a groovy sequel that mike myers put all of his mojo into writing  
pos	it is with hesitance that i call  apocalypse now  a masterpiece  certainly  it had the pedigree to be one of the greatest films ever made  with a director known for producing masterpieces with ease  and some of the finest actors of the 1970s  the plot  an adaptation of joseph conrads  heart of darkness   was set in vietnam  and the timing of the film was supposed to be brilliant  coming on the heels of the end of the war   apocalypse  certainly has its moments  some of which are the finest in film history  the plot is fairly simple  captain willard  sheen   is a troubled soldier who came back to hanoi for a 2nd tour of duty  his mission is simple  take a boat up to cambodian territory  and destroy the command of renegade colonel kurtz  brando   with extreme prejudice   along the way  willard runs into a series of adventures  including one with lt  col  kilgore  duvall   and a strange encounter with playboy bunnies  willard s four person crew finally make it to kurtz compound  where he discovers kurtz has set himself up as a god among the natives  willards experiences with kurtz take up the last halfhour  with a confrontation and eventual ending  the movie is visually breathtaking  the battle scenes are exquisitely done  and the score is brilliant  setting a murky mood of darkness that is firstrate  the collage of disturbing images that coppola presents is at times both astonishing and sickening  the vast amount of detail poured into every war scene is stunning  and there are many episodes that are deeply powerful which resonate through the entire movie  the journey to kurtz camp is quite a ride  with psychosis setting in on almost every character  the most interesting one is kilgore  the lt  col  who cares more about the surf than about the mission  it is at times revolting  psychotic  and incredible  and it is one hell of a movie  the scenes are bold  inventive  and powerful  and the acting is stunning  especially be sheen  duvall  and fishburne  the narration is exquisite  as is the mystery of kurtz  coppola sets about a hallucinatory ride through vietnam  kind of like  saving private ryan  on lsd  the film is jarring in its implications  and psychotic in its execution  the problems come when the film slows down  one of the major scenes in the film  where the boat arrives at the final army checkpoint before they start their search for kurtz  is a colossal mess  the dialogue is confusing  the lighting is atrocious  and the scene drags on for 10 terrible minutes of film  the true problems happen after the crew does come into the kurtz compound  the film slows down to a drag  sheen seems forever captured by a madman  played by brando is a lazy performance that is not deserving of the accolades it received  brando is in the film for no more than 15 minutes  but is bathed in shadows the entire time  making the last half hour of the film visually pathetic  the scenes are poorly done  the dialogue is muffled  and the whole mess is utterly confusing beyond all belief  sheen seems to adore this man  but why the viewers are never told  the entire journey is supposed to be a prelude for a stunning entrance of this godlike kurtz  but the scenes fall way short of expectations  granted  it has its moments  which are brutally horrific  but the general feeling is one of confusion  brando mumbles his lines in a incoherent stir  and my feeling was that this could never be a great man  this could never be a man who inspires hundreds to follow him  so why do they do it  there are moments of brilliance  but the visual confusion dilutes the power of the scene  there are too many questions left unanswered with the character of kurtz to have a satisfying ending  the finest scene at the end is sheens escape  and his entrace into the temple  his rise out of the water  with the smoke coming off of his slicked head  is a brilliant 30 seconds of film  yet  you cannot shake the feeling that there is so much more this film could have done  the psychotic ride is unforgettable at times  and indeed the film on the whole is very good  it is a stunningly flawed expression of film  for it addresses major issues  such as mans mental stamina during bouts of war  but one still cannot shake the feeling that this film could have so much more powerful  had the character of kurtz been more explored  and had sheen truly succumbed to the fate that the viewer thought he was destined for  there is too much good material in here not to be called a masterpiece  but it could have been so much more rewarding  
pos	the verdict  spinechilling drama from horror maestro stephen king  featuring an outstanding  oscarwinning performance from kathy bates  geez  french and saunders had a field day when they set to work on parodying this  sorry  nonbritish readers may not be familiar with french and saunders  my apologies  the pair are british comediennes  jennifer saunders later went on to become edina monsoon in  absolutely fabulous    who did a series of film spoofs a few years back  including alien  the exorcist and misery  needless to say  amidst her chucklesome impersonation of kathy bates  the resemblance was quite uncanny    dawn french got pretty nasty with her sledgehammer when in reach of jennifer saunders legs  but despite the lingering memory of their sketch  and although ive now seen the film a couple of times now  that  hobbling  scene was no less disturbing  im still left screaming at the telly in revulsion  that may be the most memorable scene  but its certainly not the only worth watching  stephen king  whose film and tv adaptations tend to vary in quality  strikes gold with this simple yet strikingly compelling tale  its a nicely crafted psychological horror  which effortlessly succeeds in drawing you into the plight of writer phil sheldon  james caan   rescued from a car accident by annie wilkes  bates   who introduces herself as the writers  number one fan   he soon becomes her prisoner  both the script and kathy bates beautifully masterful performance  for which she won an oscar  work arminarm as we quickly begin to realise that beyond her bubbly exterior the woman is basically as nutty as a fruitcake  or is that fruity as a nutcake    bates relishes her demanding role  and her performance is nothing short of a masterpiece  at times she seems like an innocent victim of her own obsessive behaviour  at times shes a rather tragic character  and more often than not shes just damned scary  this is basically a very simple tale  but it achieves a large degree of eloquence in its simplicity  its an involving  engrossing experience  and considering its basically a twohander  mainly set in one locale  its a remarkable piece of cinema  there are no jazzy special effects or cheesy action sequences  this one relies solely upon rob reiners stylish directing and the wonderful performances of bates and caan  oh  i havent really mentioned caan yet  he does a good job as the writer whos a prisoner of his own success  annie is obsessed with him and his books   but  as you no doubt gathered from the above  bates is well and truly the star of the show  along with the pig  of course  anyway  the tension is builtup with masterful aplomb  and some scenes are almost agonisingly tense  theres the dinner scene where seldon goes to nerveshattering lengths to poison her wine  he succeeds  but    she knocks the glass over  i bet you threw a pillow at the screen as well  in the immortal words of homer j  simpson   doh    other nervewracking scenes include the bit where annie has gone off to town and sheldon starts snooping around the house  we cut to annie in her car  shes on her way home    he realises this and tries to get back to his room    cut to the car again  shes getting near    will he make it  ok  so these sequences arent exactly original  nor perhaps unpredictable  but they work  boy  do they work  if a film has you on the edge of your couch  biting your nails and shouting at the screen in suspense  then its doing something right  of course  the most nauseating sequence is the aforementioned  hobbling   annie realises her captive has been out of his room  and shes going to stop him once and for all  cue a block of wood placed strategically between his ankles and a huge sledgehammer  and    i feel ill just thinking about it  nasty  it all builds up nicely to the final scene where sheldon finally gets the upper hand  and once and for all tries to kill the crazy psycho  and then were given one of the most ridiculously overthetop fight scenes ive ever seen  she gets hit over the head with a typewriter  set on fire  head smashed against the wall  and she just wont die  sheldon isnt in terribly good shape either  if it werent so gorey it would almost be laughable  but its a terrifically effective film  and therefore the daft climax is easily overlooked  misery is a tight  tense  intense and chillingly entertaining thriller  the directing is firstrate  and the performances  bates in particular  contribute to making this a suitably nightmarish little gem  wonderful stuff                    for more regularlyupdated film and tv reviews  check out my site  http  www  geocities  comhollywoodbungalow4960                  
pos	an indian runner was more than a courier  he  became  the message he was carrying  what danger is a bear  to a message  i used to think sean penn was an immature  arrogant  photographer punching  madonnamarrying  loudmouth  but all that has changed now  the guy has grown up  and thats not all  it seems that sean penn has talents both as a writer and a director  if this film is any indication  one might imagine a movie with plenty of ruthless rage and showy machismo  given penn in charge of bronson and and hopper  but  no  this film is about a real struggle  and the victories and defeats are not simple  penn lets the story unfold at a pace dictated by the lives of the characters  without unnecessary rush or flash  the focus of the story is two brothers  david morse is the brother who has grown up in the small midwestern town in which they were raised  tending a failing farm and finally becoming a police officer  viggo mortensen is the wild brother  whose wild behavior seems to be a reaction to some ancient pain that he cant name  much less resolve  the film picks the story up on the day when mortensen returns from vietnam  and morse coincidentally encounters an armed youth fleeing for the state line  it becomes clear that some kind of conflict threatens the link that the brothers once shared  the film is unobtrusive  simple  direct  plain  and sincere  it isnt exactly perfect  but its sincerity is well invested in the struggle of the two brothers to identify the sickness before it destroys them  life seems to move forward a little faster than they can get a handle on their problems  this is a good film without big budget sets  or big name stars pushed into your face  in fact  im reviewing it because i suspect that it may not get much marketing  there were perhaps 10 others at the showing i saw  i thought the structure was clean and not oversimplified  though there are a few freeform sections which also work very well  the obligatory 1960s music seemed a little cliche  but what are you going to dothis movie  does  take place in the 1960s after all  in my opinion  it is worth fullprice admission  
pos	seen july 8  1998 at the crossgates cinema 18   albany  ny   theater 7  at 8  15 p  m  with my mom using hoyts cinema cash  theater rating     12  very good sound  picture  and seats its very rare that any medium of entertainment can give one an authentic  vivid sense of reality and life  all stories are about select moments of time and places in the characters lives  but only the truly great ones are able to define their realities well enough so the audience can experience it just as the characters do  therefore   gone with the wind  deserves accolades for its ability to tell the epic story it does  in such a crafted  intricate  and entertaining manner  its a crowning achievement  not only in filmmaking  but for storytelling itself  the film takes place in georgia before  during  and after the civil war  this plays a major factor in the films success  to use such a historic setting presents many possibilities and problems since no one was alive at the time to verify its accuracy  it might also seem cliche  boring and other such deterent factors to potential viewers  can a story set so long ago be relatable now  the film confronts all these problems  paradoxically  by not cronfronting them  it doesnt simply plug in the  right thing  at the  right time   it creates an entire reality where everything makes sense and said concerns are irrelevant  building a strong foundation is important to all forms of media  without which  what is there to build on  were given some backstory here and learn a little about our characters  especially our main character  scarlett ohara  leigh   a beautiful southern belle with a will of steel  a cunning wit  and a tremendous sense of liberty in such an oppressive time  she knows how her society works  wherein everything she does can and will play a role in the shaping of her life and those around her  right from the beginning we realize how determined she is to have her way no matter what the consequences may be  being the most soughtafter woman allows her to manipulate men  and their women  to ensure she gets her way  whether it be obvious  i  e  who will be the one to get her food   or subtle  i  e  getting married just to spite someone   the man she claims to love is ashley wilkes  howard   a modest gentleman who does not seem to have the same passion for her as she does for him  he isnt so arrogant and demanding as scarlett  in fact  hes engaged to a woman with a personality much more like his  her name is melanie  de havilland   and she is one of the sweetest  kindest  and most likable characters one will ever see  she and scarlett become very dear friends  but she never suspects the jealously scarlett has for her  and the love she has for her husband  her meekness is both her strongest and weakest characteristic  it defines who she is  but doesnt give her much emotional selfdefense  acting a catalyst to the love triangle  and to the story as a whole is the daper  stongwilled  cunning  cocky southern business and military man captain rhett butler  gable   hes quite a character all right  everyone listens to what he has to say even though hes got a bad reputation  butler makes no apologies for his vast amount of money nor his behavior  he tells everyone the muchneeded truth in the rigid castelike society where freewill doesnt seem to exist  everything is done out of honor and tradition  for example  in his first appearance butler tells his fellow southerners theres no way the south could defeat the north if war were to break out  this angers them  not for his lack of faith  but because he has the gall to say it aloud and boastfully at that   do we have ammunition factories  do we have food  do we have a navy  all we have is tobacco   all true statements and yet the south still insists hes wrong  butler is a shifty character to be sure  but he takes such pride in his arrogance its appealing  scarlett notices this too when she first sees him  and from the look butler gives her  we know hes not going to stop until he has her  but scarlett cant get past her need for ashley  and during a scene which sets the stage for the grand story  butler learns of this and continues to throw it back at scarlett forever  and so the story goes on  with scarlett being thrown obstacle after obstacle in her life  the conflicts she must overcome range from taking care of her entire family to finding a proper husband  especially after she is  marked  for life when her first husband dies  this gives the film many opportunities to bring in more characters into the epic story  some are vital for only a few scenes  but their true signifcance will endure throughout the film  in most films only a few characters exist for support in background  but this film is more realistic and believable as it incorporates a supporting cast the size of a small town and everyone has signficance  even people in the background seem more than just extras wandering the set  the costuming design is outstanding so that the film makes for a real sense of time and place  the filmmakers could have easily set more scenes indoors and narrowly focused to avoid having to show the outside  real world  but these types of simple approaches are never taken  the first half of the film depicts the traumatic experience the south faced at the last days of the civil war  fleming is able to convey the horror of it all by painting an image of destruction and letting the viewer decide just how bad it is  one scene has scarlett working as a nurse at a military hospital while we hear a soldier in the background screaming   no  not my leg  dont cut off my leg   another scene shows her simplying trying to cross a street  but as the camera pulls back  we see that her path is blocked by hundreds of wounded soldiers  but it is their moaning thats more graphic than all the bloody gore could ever be  as the second half begins  the film concentrates more on scarlett as a completely independent woman who singlehandedly takes care of her family and melanie just to spite the tyrany of the north  she manages to resurrect the family plantation  but all the willpower she has cant help her when she must pay exuberhant taxes set by the north after the souths ultimate defeat  this brings rhett butler back into the picture and thus begins their torrid love hate relationship  most of the second half of the film is somehow related to the relationship  or lack thereof  between rhett and scarlett  each uses the other for personal gain  but at the same time they still feel an intimate connection with each other  scarlett continues to use her manipulative powers over men to get what she wants and because rhett cant help but want her more every time she tries to oneup him such as marrying another man and taking over his business  they say opposites attract  but the conflict between rhett and scarlett goes way beyond opposing personalities  it borders on magnetic polarization  they need each other and know this  yet they never seem truly happy together  perhaps they mistake love for passion  and the film leaves it up to us to make this call  both have things the other wants and vice versa  but when they compromise  is it just to get their own way or because they actually care for each other  love and the perception of love are two completely separate things and throughout the final act of the film  were left wondering if rhett and scarlett ever truly loved each other and why  gable and leigh do have great chemistry  always leaving the viewer wondering which emotions were authentic and which were manufacture  all  none  either way is possible and its a mystery that cannot be solved even upon repeated viewings  its safe to say most of us wont live such overly dramatic lives as those in  gone with the wind   but its still a masterpiece for its ability to give us a sense that weve just experienced a lifes worth of joy and pain  
pos	not since attending an ingmar bergman retrospective a few years ago have i seen a film as uncompromising in its portrayal of emotional truth as secrets  lies  like bergman  director mike leigh is interested in probing his characters inner depths through hypernaturally blunt confrontations  also like bergman  leigh engages in frequent closeups of his characters ravished and wracked faces  and the prominent mournfulness of a cello on the soundtrack recalls bergmans own use of a bach cello suite in an earlier film  all that is missing is a discussion of god  which is not to say that secrets  lies is nothing more than an homage to the swedish master  in fact  it is quite possible leigh had no such intentions in mind  nonetheless  what we get is so far removed from the average moviegoing experience  even from the reason we go to the movies in the first place  that it takes some effort to adjust to the films rhythms  once the adjustment is made  however  there are great rewards  one such is the chance to see life on the screen as it really is  though leigh may have adopted some of bergmans stylistic touches  most obviously in an early scene of terse crosscutting during a married couples strained conversation  as well as in that somewhat obtrusive score  the overall feeling of the film is that it eschews any  style  at all  whereas bergman uses artifice as a tool to expose reality  leigh makes the camera a mere observer  almost as in a pbs documentary  the effect of this is to focus all of your attention on the actors  it is a tribute to everyone involved that  despite such scrutiny  only infrequently are we aware that anyone  is  acting  much has been made of brenda blethyns performance  and rightly so  but it is only when you remind yourself that you are watching a fiction that you realize how good she is  there are a few missteps  for one  except for one scene  tragicomic  as it happens   there is scant humor in the film  this leads to a certain monotonous tone throughout  and occasionally  as with bergman  the bluntness of the situations can seem forced  for all that  this longish film manages to keep hold of your attention  it is unfortunate that the audience for secrets  lies will most likely be limited to an intellectual elite  for there is nothing inherently intellectual about this film  in fact  it might easily resonate more strongly for millions of working class filmgoers who will likely never see it  there is even a sweet but significant irony in the films unspoken take on race relations  something an american audience at least would do well to observe  nonetheless  secrets  lies is not for the faint of heart  though there is nothing physically horrific to make one squeamish  the exploration of common human frailty can be so raw and unsparing that it is tempting to turn from the screen  needless to say  it is also very depressing at times  but for many of us  of course  so is life  and though the film is too honest to tack on a phony happy ending  that same honesty allows it to admit that things can also get better  
pos	after a successful run in australia last year  and with much critical praise heaped upon it  muriels wedding opens into medium release this weekend in north america  muriel heslop is a withdrawn  overweight young woman living in porpoise spit  australia  she is often the target of her fathers frequent rants at the family  and drowns out her feelings of inadequacy with abba music and fantasies of marriage  her selfloathing is such that only being wed shall she prove herself to be a success  marriage will transform her into a new person who is respected and admired  after her four cliquey friends dump her  muriel plots to follow them to a resort where they are celebrating the honeymoon of one of the girls  and muriels wedding unfolds from there  toni collette plays muriel in a winning performance  conveying both the sadness of her character and her desperate eagerness to be accepted  collette gained a frightening 43 pounds in order to play the chubby title character  she has a natural screen presence and exudes charisma  easily winning the audience over with an honest  painful performance  collette basically carries the film  appearing in almost every scene  muriels father  bill  the battler  heslop  is portrayed by bill hunter as a slick politiciandeveloper  while chumming around with young fans and crowing you cant beat progress  his slogan   bill labels his family as worthless and embarrassments  rachel griffiths plays rhonda  who becomes muriels cheeky new friend in the film  she has good chemistry with collette  and the film suffers when griffiths is offscreen  muriels tormenters  played by pippa grandison  rosalind hammond  belinda jarrett and sophie lee  are twodimensional caricatures  all saucy  vain and bumblingly spiteful  though that is probably due to hogans scripting muriels wedding is essentially a genre teen comedy with more intelligence and a lot of charm  hogans use of abba tunes  which virtually comprises the entire soundtrack  is interestingly appropriate  although its repetitiveness tires after awhile  hogans script is right on the mark in terms of proportionately mixing comedy with muriels earnest quest for acceptance  and the gorgeous scene with muriel windowshopping beautifully illustrates the wonder that marriage has for her  the glaring pastel colours worn by the performers is an interesting touch  muriels wedding features a fine performance by toni collette and a charming  if a bit too straightforward and conventional story by p  j  hogan  on my four star scale  i give muriels wedding three stars  
pos	every once in a while  a film sneaks up on me and takes me completely by surprise  i dont necessarily mean in terms of quality  rather  im referring to the mere knowledge of its existence  usually i know what films are on the way a year in advance  but two weeks ago i had never heard of princess caraboo  it has slipped rather quietly into limited release  and appears destined to slip out just as quietly  thats a shame  because princess caraboo is a delightful fable  romantic  gentle and very appealing  whats more  its surprisingly insightful and provides a sharpwitted lesson in english social history  princess caraboo is based on an actual event in early 19th century england  involving a young woman  phoebe cates  who is found wandering the countryside  apparently unable to speak any english  she is taken in by goodhearted gentlewoman mrs  worrall  wendy hughes   her banker husband  jim broadbent  is nonetoopleased about this strange houseguest  until the worralls begin to believe that the woman may be royalty from an east indian island  the princess caraboo  this development inspires plans for a lucrative trading venture for mr  worrall  and an introduction into elite social circles for mrs  worrall  however  local journalist john gutch  stephen rea  is not convinced that the woman is what she seems to be  and sets out to find out the truth about princess caraboo  as a social satire and comedy of manners  princess caraboo is a winner  it takes place in an era when it was common practice in england to jail vagrants and hang beggars  and that practice comes in for an obvious hazing  but it is handled most effectively through the character of mr  worrall  a drunken womanizer whose bank is in deep trouble thanks to his corruption and ineptitude  he is worse than one of the idle rich  he is one of the actively odious gentry so eager to distance themselves from the lower class they think nothing of simply eliminating them  and since the house and money are all from mrs  worrall  he is a bit too close to them for comfort  while hypocrisy is an easy target for ridicule  director and cowriter michael austin keeps the treatment too lighthearted to be heavyhanded  he also takes a unique stab at the trendiness of the upper classes  as the princess becomes a  sensation  at court  in one of the films best sequences  princess caraboo is the guest of honor at a party hosted by the prince regent  a wonderfully foppish turn by comic john sessions   and the lords and ladies end up following her around in a thoroughly silly native dance  it is then that princess caraboo shows how easily people are swept up in  sensations   an idea that takes on a timeless quality  and makes the film an interesting companion piece to the current quiz show   social commentary aside  princess caraboo is simply an eminently enjoyable entertainment  the performers are mostly delightful  particularly phoebe cates  who is radiant in a part that requires a gift for pantomime  her supporting players are also appealing  wendy hughes as the patient and kindly mrs  worrall  kevin kline as frixos  the worralls suspicious and superior greek butler  stephen rea as the worldweary but ultimately romantic gutch  only john lithgow is a disappointment  turning in a limp performance as a scholar who attempts to verify the princesss identity  the story twists and turns just enough so that the question of whether or not the princess is really a princess is always in some doubt  without becoming gimmicky  it is unfortunate that the growing attraction between gutch and princess caraboo isnt given more time to develop  because the potential seemed to be there  when it finally does blossom  it seems too quick to be plausible  princess caraboo is patient enough in establishing its sense of time and place that it might seem a bit slow to viewers seeking a fantasy romp  still  it has both escapist and intellectual appeal  and is well worth seeking out  it is the kind of film that makes my job its most rewardinga hidden gem  
pos	 through a spyglass  i could see everything   king louis xvi was beheaded on january 21  1793  but instead of visualizing this act of regicide  legendary auteur eric rohmers the lady and the duke observes from afar  consider it a view to a kill made abstract  a proper british  yes  british  gentlewoman  grace elliott  lucy russell   and her loyal maidservant gaze from a lofty terrace in meudon at the glistening city of paris  where raucous crowds seem tinier than ants  the maid narrates what little she sees of the execution through her telescope  often muttering   i dont know    as the sound of cheering patriots and revolutionaries echoes through the air  what we dont see might not be able to hurt us  just close your eyes and think of england  during times of revolution  the aristocracy may feel a false sense of calm in their parlor halls  discussing tumultuous events over glasses of sherry until the walls cave in on them  adapted from elliotts memoirs  journal of my life during the french revolution  rohmers latest artistic tourdeforce may seem far removed from his domestic comedies  tales of the four seasons  etc    a period film set during the most violent changes in french history  resisting the temptation for grandscale theatrics  much of the lady and the duke is about quiet  decisive moments between members of the cultural elite as they determine how to proceed as the world implodes  grace elliott makes for an unlikely protagonist  a headstrong  snobbish blueblood  one unprepared for the machinations of history that sweep her along  a foreigner who accepts the french king as her own  graces life seems defined by fancy attire and lively political debate with her former lover  the kings hotblooded cousin  prince philipe  duke of orleans  jeanclaude dreyfus   the times are changing  though  and the gears inch ever closer toward violence  during the september massacres of 1792  she is encountered by a procession of rioters brandishing the head of the dukes sisterinlaw on a stake  rohmer makes a harsh transition from tranquil  old fashioned  almost stagy parlor scenes to the swell of an angry mob  in doing so  he achieves what braveheart and the patriot could not  the face of death  when grace sees her friends disembodied head on a pole  rohmers attention drifts from the societal change to one womans reaction shot  laden with hot tears  grace finds herself taking in a fugitive from justice  sheltering him from the mob  through her relationship with the duke  she seeks a passport for this one activists escape  grace doesnt even understand her own actions  and the duke reacts in stunned disbelief at how she places herself in such danger   she endures persecution from robespierre and his gang of thuggish equalizers  ceaseless police monitoring  house searches  even a brief imprisonment for harmless international correspondence  maintaining her stiff upper lip and pampered life  her imperious attitude to the servants never changes   she becomes a heroine through circumstance  the events themselves are intrusions upon her person  her home  and therefore her values  aristocracy proves a glass house  one that can barely withstand the upheaval of stones  the duke is called to vote on the kings punishment  and despite his hours of deliberation with friends and advisors  talk means nothing in the face of bloody action  or futile inaction   the episodic structure creates a wobbly  jarring detachment from the events of the french revolution  which serves as metaphor but also disconnects potential audience identification  lazy viewers  and critics  may also complain that knowledge of french history is required for enjoyment of the lady and the duke  thats foolery  but brings up the valid criticism that rohmers characters occasionally become didactic  rohmers imperfect but assured push toward the future remains staunch and notable for casting a cautious eye upon the past while taking bold steps forward into an uncertain future  what may arouse interest in the lady and the duke outside of foreign film enthusiasts with literary and historical passions is rohmers use of cutting edge digital technology as a means of exploring the theme of artifice as safety net or coping mechanism  the actors were filmed against a bluescreen  then placed against painted backdrops recreating the vastness of 18th century paris  this recreation calls attention to itself in every shot  a technicolor dream of fanciful buildings and wideopen streets  it looks as phony as titanic  but unlike james camerons debacle  the lady and the duke plays with the notion of false security in those walls of stone  why  they arent real  the very foundation rohmers characters stand upon is false  and in their groundlessness they must discover themselves  in all their insubstantial glory  screened at the 2001 new york film festival  feature coming soon   
pos	wong karweis  fallen angels  is  on a purely visceral level  one of the most exciting films ive seen in a long while  unfortunately  wong seems more interested in experimenting with his camera than creating tangible characters for the audience to root for  ordinarily  that alone would be enough to sink a movie  but in the case of  fallen angels   this is not so  every shot in this film is exciting just to  look  at  wong does really interesting things with the camera  but he doesnt allow the pyrotechnics to completely take over  as was the case with last years dismal  knock off   which contained a shot of a foot entering a shoe  ugh   the movie follows three pairs of lost souls as they struggle to find some meaning in their lives  i cant say much more than that as i didnt really know what was going on most of the time  in fact  it wasnt until about halfway through the movie that i was able to distinguish between each character  the constantly moving camera doesnt really allow for the audience to associate with any one character  were always kept at a distance from these people  i suppose in order to further add to the feeling of alienation felt by the characters   fallen angels  is a refreshing changeofpace from most hollywood films  which never bother to try anything different  at least on a visual level  in fact  id go so far as to say that  fallen angels  is more challenging visually than any mainstream hollywood film ive ever seen  sure  theres directors like robert rodriguez who enjoy turning violence into operatic orgies of death  but to see a filmmaker like wong who actually assaults the senses with images is truly something worth celebrating  but if wong wishes to become a legendary filmmaker  he needs to work on incorporating an actual story into those awesome images  there were far too many instances during  fallen angels  in which i asked myself   now who are these people again  is this that first couple or the second couple   it was impossible to keep track  perhaps he could let the audience know right away which character is which  by introducing them to us with  name cards   as in scorseses  mean streets   thats really besides the point  though  wong karwei has proven himself  through very few films  thats hes a moviemaker to watch  lets just hope that he hones his storytelling skills with his next few movies  
pos	city of angels is the kind of love story that i enjoy the most  thoughtprovoking  moving  and completely unsentimental  i find it interesting that this film has been released the same day as my giant  which is a film that is undone completely by its wretched sentimentality  city of angels is a wonderful film  enhanced by interesting and wellrounded characters and some of the most immersive imagery of the last couple of years  its a love story that takes the familiar angel themes and makes them new and necessary to the story  and avoids most of the cliches were so used to seeing in films like this  city of angels is an apparently loose remake of wim wenders 1988 film wings of desire  i have yet to see wings of desire  so i am  unfortunately  unable to make a comparison of the two  i have heard  however  that city of angels is dissimilar from the original in numerous ways  which makes me glad that this film isnt a ripoff of its source material  nicolas cage stars as seth  an angel who  like all of his angel counterparts  is present to lead the dying to heaven  or somewhere just like it   one day  he is forced to take the life of a patient of dr  maggie rice  meg ryan   and his attention is called to her  the angels can make themselves seen to humans  but they cant experience any of the senses  most importantly  touch   he shows himself to maggie  and she falls for him  unaware that he is slightly unavailable because of his apparition status  seth wants to become human so he can feel her  thats when he meets nathaniel messinger  dennis franz    former celestial messenger and recent addition to the human race    as a side note  i found messinger to be the most fascinating character  for i can only imagine how incredibly liberating it must be to live knowing what lies beyond death   messinger explains to seth that it is possible for angels to become human  seth manages to convince maggie that he is an angel  i know  it sounds ridiculous  but the scene in which she finds out is exceptionally welldone   after much deliberation  she tells him that she could only be with a man who can feel  this  of course  is when seth decides to take the plunge  literally  from a building  when he wakes up from the fall  he is human  and happy to feel what its like to have a split lip and blood oozing from his forehead  since i love this film so much  ill make a minor note that it certainly isnt perfect  although it is original and mesmerizing  it does fall prey to a few of the cliches of the genre  the plotting of the story by writer dawn steel is rather formulaic  though the details are what make the story excellent  and steel has done a great job with them   the ending  too  could have been more powerful and less predictable  these elements are minor  though  and barely detracted from my overall enjoyment of city of angels  the acting is superb from everyone involved  this is perhaps my secondfavorite performance from cage  my favorite being the rock   hes quiet and pensive  and his eyes are engaging when he speaks his softlytoned words  hes perfect for a role like this  and at the same time he reassures us hes not bound by playing the psycho  though he is good at it  as he shows in faceoff   meg ryan is a powerful  enticing  and appealinglychirpy actress  and her work here is some of her best  dennis franz  however  steals all of his scenes as the energetic formerangel  what i admire most about city of angels is its overall presentation  director brad silberling is a talented man  and he knows that a story like this is driven by the characters  rather than forced sentimentality  his direction is steady  and he shows this in just about every scene  near the beginning  maggie has to tell a mother and her two children that their father is dead  there is no music or elaborate camera work  we simply see the reactions of the characters to the information  this is the way stories should be told  and the strength of scenes resonates more completely when the emotions are real  the film also appeals to the senses in a way that few love stories do  cinematographer john seale  the english patient  provides some of the most stunning images ive seen on the big screen  hundreds of blackclad angels stand on a dim beach in the early morning hours  just as an example   the music  by gabriel yared  also of the english patient   is perfect for this film  its quiet and moody music  but not sentimental    and adds to the atmosphere and tone nicely  the visual presentation of city of angels is easily the best of 1998 so far  all of this adds up to a film that is instantly set apart from other members of this genre  its a film that relies on character development and imagery to get the story acrossthe excellent actors and the professional production values make city of angels one of those rare films that both entertains and instigates thought simultaneously  
pos	have you ever wondered if death is something that simply happens naturally  at any given moment  in life  or if it is an occurrence that is predetermined by some much larger force within the world  or outside of it  these thoughtprovoking questions are the subject of  final destination   which is the most riveting horrordrama since 1999s  the sixth sense   stylishly filmed and tautly directed by  xfiles  alum james wong  the film deals with several fairly heavy topics that are discussed truthfully by teenage characters  in accurately written  teenspeak   rather than overwrought  highly intellectualized dialogue that even harvard scholars wouldnt use   all the while developing into a darkly foreboding  severely eerie thriller that successfully leaves you uneasy from the horrifyingly real opening twenty minutes to the lesssuccessful  but still suspenseful epilogue  at the start of the film  17yearold high school senior alex browning  devon sawa  is about to leave with his 40student french class for a field trip to paris  progressively getting a case of preflight jitters  he spots several mysterious  coincidences   including the departure time being 9  25  the same as his september 25 birthday  as well as hearing the john denver song  rocky mountain high  over the sound system in the airport bathroom   john denver died in a plane crash   alex grudgingly mutters to himself  once seated  alex suddenly gets a horrific premonition about the plane exploding upon takeoff  and after causing a ruckus onboard  he  as well as six other students and a teacher  are thrown off  arguing in the airport lobby  alexs suspicion comes true when the plane really does explode in flight  killing all 300 passengers  including the rest of their classmates  as two investigators interrogate alex about how he knew the plane was going to explode  the fellow survivors  whom he has saved  treat him in varying manners  carter  kerr smith   the hotshot jock  holds him in contempt because he believes that it is only he himself who can decide his fate  alexs best friend  tod  chad e  donella   wants to stand by him but cant because of his fearful parents  the teacher  mrs  lewton  kristen cloke   is frightened by him  believing that it was he who somehow caused the disaster  as well as in a state of guilt for giving up her seat on the plane to a fellow coworker  only outsider clear rivers  ali larter   who unboarded the plane due to a sudden connection to alexs premonition even though she had never even spoken to him before  is sympathetic and thankful to him for saving her life  that is only the setup of  final destination   and the less said about what follows  the better  suffice to say  the film does  indeed  turn into a slasher film  albeit one that is more thoughtful than most  and replaces a knifewielding maniac for the neverseen granddaddy killer of them all  the grim reaper itself  the setpieces in any horror movie are the death scenes  and  final destination  surely boosts some of the most inventive ones to grace the silver screen in years  graphic and brilliantly orchestrated in a rube goldbergesque manner  they manage to occasionally be so intense you dont know whether to shrink down in your seat  tap your feet in nervousness  or turn away  devon sawa  a rising star who put his physical comedy skills to good use in 1999s underseen slashercomedy   idle hands   is even more of a charismatic presence here  the conflicting emotions he feels for his survival  which he comes to believe he wasnt meant to do  as well as the loss of the other passengers  is superbly and subtly acted on his part  one scene  in which he is watching a news report on the crash and slowly begins to break down is especially realistic and powerful  ali larter  1999s  varsity blues    in the other central role  is also effective  as a girl whose life was going well until her father died in a convenience store shooting years before  leaving her stuck with an increasingly uncaring mother who married a loutish manthe exact opposite of her nowdeceased father  the other roles are not as fully written  and most remain rather onedimensional  the movie is mainly sawas  however  and the rest of the actors equip themselves well in limited roles  tony todd  1992s  candyman    as an arcane morgue attendant  pops up for a fiveminute cameo  but his appearance is rather supererogatory  and the aforementioned dialogue occasionally hits the bullseye  while at other times it hovers over being just a little too stilted and campy  ultimately  what is so good about  final destination  is that  within the confines of the slasher genre  writerdirector wong and screenwriters glen morgan and jeffrey reddick have created a premise that has never been seen before in this manner  and a film that has the ability to both surprise and frightentwo things that are rarely found in todays horror films  if anything  its safe to say you will never ever look at flying in airplanes the same way again  
pos	originally entitled dancing about architecture  i  e   talking about love is like dancing about architecture    but changed because it sounded too much like the recent boxoffice dud dancing at lughnasa  this film slaps together a stunning cast of hollywood names  playing interesting and wellwritten characters  within a vignettesstyled plot arrangement a la robert altman  plot  follow the lives of several couples falling in and out of love  finding themselves  regaining a clearer understanding of the people that they are  and who they want  and appreciating the fine emotional art of love  critique  charmingly effective romantic drama  this film offers insight into various types of relationships  presents us with interesting characters and excellent performances from the cast  and scratches beneath the surface of love and its many complex subtleties  how do people fall in love  why do people fall out of love  how do people fall back into love  once theyve been hurt and left to join the lonely hearts club  all of these questions and more  are touched upon in this film  within several types of variant relationships  meet a hip  young couple going through their first date  a divorcee attempting to date again after her many failed relationships  a married woman  finding herself  while cheating on her husband  a husband letting go of his inhibitions  an older couple dealing with a past  love  of the man  a secret recently uncovered  a son dying from aids  joined by his mother at the hospital  there are many nuances to this picture  and many ideas and quotes to which we could all relate  but more importantly  there is diversity  diversity of relationships helped me and my gang of friends enjoy this film on many levels  some related to the younger couples issues  others with the married  theres a little bit of everything for everyone in here  and i would bet dollars to donuts that if i were to watch this film again in a year  i would relate myself to yet another predicament  just like love itself  this movie is distinct and appreciated by all on many different levels  the actors in this film are all also very  very good  sean connery is solid as the older man with some issues to resolve  as is gena rowlands  as the aging wife with trepidations  jolie comes out of this film a star with a great performance  while philippe is as prettyboy as ever  anderson leaves scully far behind with her wonderful portrayal of a damaged woman trying to reignite her love life  opposite a surprisingly admirable performance by former talkshow host  jon stewart  even dennis quaid manages to step outside of his overacting shoes in this film  and offers a convincing show of a man lost within his own imagination  the only piece of this puzzle which left me somewhat detached  was the part surrounding jay mohr  the man dying from aids  and his mother  ellen burstyn  the actors were fine  but somehow  the piece seemed out of place within the realm of everything else  the ending of this film was also a little too saccharine for me  but i guess thats just hollywood  this film is actually a lot like your friends and neigbors  5  510  and happiness  4  510  in concept and style  but its complete anthesis in regards to character relatibility and likeness  the characters in those films were too unique and inhuman for anyone to care  as opposed to this film  which offers rich and believable characters  living real lives and talking about real issues in todays relationships  all in all  this movie offers many interesting characters  talking and living genuine and engaging love lives  wonderful performances by its solid cast  too sweet of an ending  but an enjoyable and rewatchable movie nonetheless  little known facts about this film and its stars  according to a story in the london sunday mirror  sean connery asked for only 60  000 for his role in this movie  as compared to his usual fee of 14 million  because he liked the script so much  on top of that  he convinced his costars  including gena rowlands  gillian anderson  ellen burstyn  et al   to do the same  this is directorwriter willard carroll second real foray into the world of  adult films   before this  he had written and produced many childrens movies  gillian anderson stands 52  angelina jolies full name is angelina jolie voight  she is actor jon voights daughter  she has trained and performed at the lee strasberg theatre institute  she divorced actor jonny lee miller of trainspotting  8  510  fame in 1997  they were married in 1995  actor ryan phillippes full name is matthew ryan phillippe  he stands 59  and spent his childhood in new castle  delaware  his acting career started on tvs  one life to live   he portrayed daytime televisions first gay teenager  jon stewarts full name is jonathan stewart leibowitz  this film was originally entitled if they only knew and dancing about architecture  watch for movie posters from swingers  8  510   chasing amy  710  and the texas chainsaw massacre  810  at the movie theatre where the characters of joan and keenan go on their first date  
pos	 well this is not mission  difficult  mr  hunt  its mission  impossible  difficult should be a walk in the park for you   agent swanbeck  sir anthony hopkins   the series new agent phelps  takes ethan hunt  tom cruise  down a notch  a russian scientist  rade serbedzija  has created a new virus  and its antidote  called chimera that destroys its host within twenty hours of injection  a rogue imf agent  sean ambrose  dougray scott   wants to use the disease and cure to blackmail a pharmaceutical company into selling him enough stock to make him owner of the company  he knows it will soon be worth its weight in gold thanks to the outbreak of the virus he is going to cause   posing as ethan hunt  ambrose gains the confidence of the scientist long enough to get only the cure  not realizing that the scientist had injected himself with the virus to prevent exactly what ambrose was trying to do  the real ethan hunt is called in from his vacation to persuade beautiful thief nyah nordoffhall  thandie newton  to assist the imf team in retrieving the stolen goods  ethan and nyah fall quickly in love  but ethan soon finds himself in a real dilemma when he learns that his new love has only been hired because she was a former lover of ambroses  reluctantly  he sets up nyah to be rescued from prison by ambrose so she can infiltrate his compound and send back intelligence to the team  ethan must race against time to keep ambrose from obtaining and spreading the virus and prevent any harm from coming to nyah  although the first mission  impossible film was a moderate box office success  audiences panned it because they felt the plot was too confusing and there wasnt much action  although being a fan of the series both old and new  i thought the movie was pretty decent and especially gutsy to make phelps a bad guy   that problem has been rectified in the sequel by making the plot more accessible  courtesy of one of the writers of the previous entry  robert towne  and by turning the film into one gigantic action set piece under the steady hand of action film guru john woo  the end result is one of the most entertaining  yet simple  action films made in a long while  unfortunately  the first forty minutes or so are relatively slow  dwelling mainly on ethan and nyahs quickly blossoming romance and seeming more in place in a james bond film than with the less glamorous mission  impossible tv series  ethans conflict is a compelling one  but it seems very rushed  and comes about because of a near fatal car wreck that ethan himself causes    john woo handles all of this with an artistic flair that seems out of place  featuring a great deal of slow fades and dramatically framed closeups  the surreal nature of these sequences are distracting and ultimately a detriment to the film  thankfully though  at the point ambrose discovers nyahs deception  mission  impossible ii becomes very entertaining and actionpacked  robert townes screenplay takes some of the conventions set up in the first film and parodies them during a sequence where ethan must break into a highrise building and retrieve the remaining specimens of the virus  after that  the action scenes just begin to build in intensity  as is the case with many of woos previous highoctane films  the final half hour is an all out assault of action  a good deal of which is ruined by the trailer  unfortunately   as far as summer entertainment goes  mission  impossible ii is serviceable fare  anyone looking for hardcore action wont be disappointed  except for during the first half of the film  perhaps   even if you werent a fan of the first film  this entry deserves some checking out  pg13 
pos	robert redford is very good at playing characters who have incredible  godgiven gifts  but are able to act like ordinary people  in  the natural   1984   he played the fallen angelic character of roy hobbs  the baseball player who was destined to be  the best there ever was   but still acted like a humble farm boy  in  butch cassidy and the sundance kid   1969   he was the most dangerous shot in the west  yet he came off like a nothing more than a boyishly goodlooking charmer  even in  indecent proposal   1993   where he played a man who was so good at making money that he believed he could buy love  redford was still able to exude an aura of shy decency  especially when reciting a tale of lost love  in his latest film   the horse whisperer   based on the bestselling novel by nicholas evans  redford again plays such a character  redford also directed the film although he swore up and down that he would never direct himself in a movie  i suppose the character of tom booker  a man who has the amazing gift of understanding and somehow communicating with horses  was just too good to pass up  despite his enormous and rare gift when it comes to training troubled horses  a magazine article coins the phrase  horse whisperer  to describe his uncanny talent   booker sees himself as an everyday cattle rancher whose greatest fear is growing old and no longer having a purpose in life  bookers talents are taxed into service by annie maclean  kristin scott thomas   a new york magazine editor whose daughter  grace  scarlett johansson   was recently in a horrible accident  the accident  which is filmed with gutwrenching horror  happens when grace and her best friend are out riding horses  an eighteenwheeler kills graces friend  severely wounds and traumatizes graces horse  pilgrim  and causes grace to lose part of her right leg  annie believes that if pilgrim can be healed  grace will be healed as well  which leads her to booker  at first  she tries to get booker to come to new york to see the horse  but that doesnt work  instead  she packs up grace and pilgrim  leaves her husband  robert  sam neill  behind  and heads for the rolling hills of montana where booker runs a ranch with his brother  frank  chris cooper   and his sisterinlaw  diane  dianne wiest   in many ways  the film is like a journey  both literally and symbolically  the move out west has always been a great american tradition of renewal  and its hard not to see annie and graces leaving manhattan for montana as a variation on the classic theme of city vs  country  in  the horse whisperer   country is clearly the victor  the city is characterized by claustrophobia and unhappiness  and it is not until the characters arrive in the wideopen spaces of montana that graces anger at being physically and emotionally crippled begins to dissipate  annies controlling nature begins to relax  and pilgrim once again learns to trust people  redford is just as in love with the grand montana country in this film as he was when he directed  a river runs through it  six years ago  in many ways   the horse whisperer  comes from the same poetic vein as  river   and the movie could probably be a good fifteen minutes shorter if redford had decided to spend less cameratime on the grass and mountains  but then  that would ruin the magic  much of the films photography is truly elegant  and it creates a palpable sense of the sheer expansiveness of the land  to further emphasize this  redford and cinematographer robert richardson   natural born killers    platoon   cheated a bit by shooting the beginning of the film  which takes place in new york  with mostly cold  harsh bluish filters and a more squarish 1  85  1 aspect ratio  when the action shifts to montana  richardson switches to softfocus and natural lighting  and the screen widens to a 2  35  1 aspect ratio  in terms of the story itself   the horse whisperer  gives us the same romanticized view of adultery found in david leans  a brief encounter   1945  and clint eastwoods 1995 adaptation of robert james wallers  the bridges of madison county   richard lagravenese  coscreenwriter here also adapted  bridges    although  the horse whisperer  has a strong romantic sensibility  i still find something oddly troubling about this kind of story  it seems to me that there should be some sympathy for the husband whos being left behind for this brief  heartsweeping affair  but there rarely is  in  the horse whisperer   the thankless role of being the fuddyduddy husband falls to sam neill  he plays the character as a decent  hardworking man who is a good husband and father  his only failure is that he loves his wife more than she loves him  he is at risk of losing annie to booker not because he did anything to drive her away  but simply because he happens to be a normal  fairly uninspiring man  there is one scene that is particularly telling of how the movie feels about each character  it shows booker and robert going into a horse pen  booker is dressed like a classic cowboy with hat and all  while robert looks somewhat frumpy and outofplace in a baseball cap  as they enter the pen  booker assuredly swings over the fence  while robert hesitates  then opens the gate and  in a goofy moment  forgets to close it behind him  its a small scene  but it clearly demonstrates the movies thorough love of the booker character for his romantic roughness  after all  booker represents everything good about the city while robert represents everything banal and unnatural about it  the best scenes in  the horse whisperer  tend to involve not the building romance between booker and annie  but rather the healing process of grace and her horse  although bookers horsetraining methods are mythical and unrealistic  the scenes with him and pilgrim are strangely mesmerizing  these are paralleled by the scenes between him and grace  some of which are humorous  and all of which are tender and true  at some point  i wished the movie would drop the whole romance angle and focus on grace more  nevertheless  redford is obviously a romantic at heart  and he brings a light touch to the erotic moments in the film  there are no dramatic sex scenes  but there is a moving scene when he and scott thomas are slowdancing  always moving ever closer together  that is far more erotic than any scene of sweaty bodies grinding together  although the movie is longer than it should be and is essentially a melodramatic tearjerker with an unsatisfying conclusion that guarantees unhappiness for just about every character  there are enough moments like that which make  the horse whisperer  worth the price of admission  
pos	in roger michells romantic comedy notting hill  william thacker  hugh grant  leads a rather dreary life maintaining his flagging travel bookshop in the quaint section of london which lends its name to the films title  one day  american movie superstar anna scott  julia roberts  walks in to purchase a book on turkey  quickly enamored of each other  the two embark upon an onagain  offagain love affair replete with romance  humor  and the occasional lump in the throat  the film opens with a nonverbal cue to annas stardom as the title credits appear over a montage of slow motion sequences featuring the actresss appearances in films and at premieres  coming out of limousines  walking the red carpets and such  without words  this sequence gives us a background to her character  following  however  is a setup narration by william indicating what he does and where he lives  i dont know why the filmmakers chose to go with a narration which tells us nothing we couldnt have figured out by watching the first ten minutes of film  and which never resurfaces after the movies beginning  but there it is  if there were ever a clear case for  less is more   this would be it  the film is told nearly first person from williams point of view  as he is in every scene  by nature of this arrangement  we get a very definite sense of what he is all about  and his nice guy personality wins us over easily  in fact  much of notting hills strength lies in the great dialog written for this character by richard curtis  a scene where william is still in shock over the fact that hes even talking to a silver screen goddess is made golden by the way bumbles through his attempt to offer her some honeysoaked apricots from his refrigerator  or take an instance where anna kisses william and asks him never to tell anyone for fear of the incident hurting her image  william assures her he wouldnt say a word  then adds   well  ill probably tell myself now and then  but id never believe it   great stuff  the downside to spending so much time with william is that we dont get to see enough of anna to make their relationship whole and plausible  were constantly exposed to williams thoughts  feelings  actions and desires  but dont actually get the sense of how much anna really feels for him  there are a couple of instances where she declares her obvious interest  but they nearly come out of nowhere due to the fact that were not sure what shes been thinking all the times in between  this  combined with the sheer iniquity of screen time between the two  makes this hugh grants film hands down  he gets the great scenes  look for one in which he has to portray an interviewer from horse and hound magazine in order to speak with anna   the great lines  and gives an overall wonderful performance  julia roberts fans will probably be disappointed by the actresss top billing and subsequent lack of involvement in the film  ala sandra bullock in a time to kill  along with her detached performance which is only worsened by her characters unpredictable behavior  anna doesnt get a lot of our compassion  this romantic comedy leans a little more toward the comedy than the romance  much of it supplied by grant himself  but with considerable help from the supporting cast  most notable is rhys ifans as spike  williams eccentric roommate  who is in the film for no other purpose than to make us laugh  hugh bonneville  emma chambers  james dreyfus  and gina mckee bring up the guard as williams friends and family  particularly shining in a scene where william brings anna to his sisters birthday dinner  and we get to see how these common folks react to the presence of a movie star in their midst  its a scene most of us will probably think would play out in our own living rooms were we faced with a similar situation  roger michells use of visuals doesnt sweep us off our feet  but does give us more than your typical movie of this type  for example  there are a couple of instances in this film where large amounts of time pass  whereas some films are content to simply put in a caption saying  eight months later   michell presents us with more interesting cues  such as williams walk though his neighborhood while the seasons change around him  another memorable shot occurs in a park where the camera is lifted from ground level to a couple of hundred feet in the air  were generally used to scenes where our point of view is lifted from the earth to treetop level or so  but in this case  the camera just keeps going up and up until we have a birds eye view of the ground below  music is used rather glaringly as an enhancement to many of the films scenes  and some of this might have been better toned down  but in other areas it works to full effect  its kind of a mixed bag  but still fares better than many of todays lighthearted movies which are so influenced by the mtv fare that the film becomes one long music video  at least this film has some pretty good music that for the most part remains relevant and appropriate  notting hills grant and roberts will not go down in history as one of the alltime greatest film pairings  but the chemistry is decent and the comedic aspects of the movie more than make up for it  for a couple of hours  you should expect to laugh more than cry  and thats not so bad  now is it  
pos	ingredients  man with amnesia who wakes up wanted for murder  dark science fiction city controlled by alien beings with mental powers  synopsis  what if you woke up one day  and suspected you were not on earth  and instead were part of an experiment in a giant space terrarium manipulated by intergalactic alien zookeepers  in dark city john murdoch  rufus sewell  has this problem  dark city starts out like a 1940s noir amnesia detective mystery  poor john wakes up with amnesia in a hotel room with a dead dame in one corner  a mysterious phone call tells him to get the heck out of there  and soon enough john is chased all over town by a murderous army of pale people in black trenchcoats  as well as by the police  and the dogged inspector bumstead  william hurt   is john a murderer  and what can his missing memories tell him  he searches through his own wallet for possible contacts and clues  but when the clues dont fit  it doesnt just confuse him  it causes john to go so far as to question the whole nature of reality in the dark city  to john  something is fishy  and very unreal about this city  how come its always dark  and nobody seems to remember what they did this morning  and how come nobody seems to remember how to leave the city  or how to get to nearby shell beach  every night  around midnight  john notices that the whole city enters a state of suspended animation  and at this time  creepy alien experimenters known as the strangers come out and do nasty things like inject fake memories into peoples heads with big hypodermic needles  the strangers have the ability to tune   or warp reality using telepathic powers  turns out  the city is not on earth at all  and the reason why john doesnt fall victim to the nightly suspended animation  is because he is a human mutation that possesses the same godlike realitywarping abilities as the strangers  even with the help of scientist dr  daniel schreber  can john take back the dark city  opinion  director alex proyas  he also directed the crow  mentions this in the dark city press kit  in films  science fiction is always  used to have big spaceships blow up cities  i think were a little tired of that   according to director proyas  probably the most interesting thing about dark city is its layers  its designed so that you can watch the film over again  and examine it from the perspective of a main character other than murdoch  its a philosophical piece  cinematic science fiction is basically a thinly disguised shootout between the good humans and the bad aliens  whether they be klingons  giant bugs  or proponents of the dark side of the force   but science fiction in books reaches beyond the shootemup level and targets the big questions  questions like who are we  what is the human condition  what is ethical  what would a true human being do  far from comic book style on the order of spawn  batman  or the mutant ninja turtles  dark city not only features the showdown between good humans and powerful aliens  but it also asks questions worthy of films such as brazil or blade runner  dark city is what philosophers would call an existentialist screenplay  a little more than 200 years ago  the world was filled with unhappy peasants   unhappy because nearly every aspect of their lives was controlled by totalitarian  military  conformist  medieval regimes  the people took refuge in religion  the idea being that earthly life was a time of suffering  but after death  heaven would be available  meanwhile  the state used these same ideas to prop up their regimes  the king was often head of the religion and therefore sanctioned by heaven  when science finally overturned religion  the medieval dictatorships came tumbling down and were replaced by democratic governments  but the new fear was that the power of science and experimentation would be used to create a world order as darkly totalitarian as the old  this is the time period when writers and philosophers such as freud  kant  kafka  nietzsche  and dostoevsky pondered what society should be  and what place the individual had in it  the existentialists in particular wrote about the power of the lone individual against what may be a hostile  indifferent  or alienated universe  in dark city  when the last dying  defeated alien asks john murdoch why the aliens scientific experiments on the human beings brains failed  murdoch replies  pointing to his head   because the human condition isnt located in here   
pos	every once in a while  when an exceptional family film comes along  i will attempt to champion it by challenging parents to put their money where their mouths have been  with all the hubbub over the lack of films suitable for children  it is remarkable how many nondisney films disappear in a couple of weeks  now i see that in so doing  i have unfairly ghettoized these films  so i am issuing my challenge not just to parents  but to anyone who wants to support smart  funny  energetic filmmaking  see matilda  see it in a theater  rather than shrugging and waiting for it on video  see the best film i have seen in 1996  not the best childrens film    the best film  period  based on a story by roald dahl  it tells of young matilda wormwood  mara wilson   an extraordinarily bright girl whose great misfortune it is to have a pair of deeply stupid parents  harry  danny devito   a crooked used car salesman  and zinnia  rhea perlman   a simpleminded bingo addict  the wormwoods barely notice matilda exists  and when they do  it is only to scold her for spending too much time reading books  when they finally do send her to school  it is to crunchem hall  a bleak place run by cruel  childhating miss agatha trunchbull  pam ferris   but things begin to look up for matilda when she discovers a sympathetic teacher  miss honey  embeth davidtz   who nurtures her natural inquisitiveness  matilda also discovers another special talent  the ability to move things with her mind  which allows her to help herself and miss honey to overcome miss trunchbulls cruelty  it was this springs james and the giant peach which inspired me to note that the best and most lasting tales for children tended to have more than a hint of darkness to them  and you can bet that the roald dahl responsible for the gleeful ghoulishness of james and willy wonka and the chocolate factory has more of the same in store with matilda  and just as james benefited from the dark sensibilities of henry selick and tim burton  matilda soars on the cockeyed direction of danny devito  devito made black humor a key element in throw momma from the train and the war of the roses  and he contributes some memorable images  in one scene  an unfortunate girl is made an example of by miss trunchbull when she is picked up by her pigtails and flung through the air like a throwing hammer  later  an overweight boy is forced to eat an entire massive cake after he is caught stealing a dessert  matilda is just twisted enough to be a perfect fairy tale  it is also characteristic of the best childrens tales that they manage to teach lessons in such a way that children almost dont realize that they are learning them  there is a hilarious moment when matildas televisionaddicted father snatches away the book she is reading  in a wicked joke  he thinks moby dick is pornographic  and forces her to watch an inane game show  hosted by jon lovitz  in which contestants are smeared with adhesive and placed in a booth filled with cash blowing around  matilda is a story which promotes the value of intellectual curiosity over passive entertainment  and it does so while poking holes in that most frustrating of notions for a child  that because  im big and youre little  im right and youre wrong   more specifically  it has as its heroine an intelligent  selfconfident girl who struggles successfully against other peoples notions of how she should behave  it is no coincidence that matilda was cowritten by robin swicord  who contributed the superb recent adaptation of little women  finally  matilda has that quality i find rarest and most treasured in family entertainment  it is family entertainment in the truest sense of the word  devito knows enough to make matilda fastpaced and appealing to children  taking a deliciously nasty performance by pam ferris as miss trunchbull and making it the focal point of some priceless physical comedy  including a great chase through her dark house  the child actors are winning but never obnoxiously adorable  with mara wilson making matilda a clever and extremely likeable character  but there are also many  many delights for adults  including my favorite scene in which matilda uses her powers to frighten miss trunchbull by having chalk write on a chalkboard by itself while matildas classmates recite in singsong fashion  there is also a deadpan cameo by paul reubens as an fbi agent staking out matildas father  i cant imagine anyone of any age leaving matilda feeling as though his or her intelligence had been insulted  matilda is a film which left me glowing with good feeling  i will see it again  and years from now i will watch it with my children  and now i will stop  because somewhere near you matilda is about to begin  and there is a seat in that theater you should be in  if you have a child or ever were a child  
pos	usually when one is debating who the modern queen of the romantic comedy is they will bring up names like julia roberts or sandra bullock  others will mention meg ryan  but for me  its not even close  janeane garofalo is not only the queen of the romantic comedy  she is the best comic actress in hollywood right now  and its a good thing shes starring in the matchmaker  because without her presence the movie would be bland  unfunny  and dull  garofalo stars as marcy tizard  a top aide to boston senator john mcglory  who is suffering in the polls  in an attempt to capture the irish vote  he sends marcy on a mission to a small irish town called ballinagra in search of other mcglorys that never moved to america  unfortunately for marcy  her visit coincides with the towns annual matchmaking festival  things get off to a rocky start for marcy though  she has no hotel reservations  for no rational reason  and the tiny confined room  tired old cliche  she has to stay in has a visitor in her bathtub  his name is sean  and marcy finds him repugnant at first  so you can obviously tell where this is headed  the movie runs into a few roadblocks  for instance  the story is very thin  none of the characters  except the old local matchmaker  are nearly as interesting as garofalo  some of the characters  like the political aide played by denis leary  have wandered in from a completely different movie  i think the director realized this and decided to throw in numerous shots of the beautiful irish scenery  and several closeups of garofalos winning smile  the strange thing is that it works  garofalos charm and the irish scenery could carry the thinnest of stories  and it carries this one  
pos	susan grangers review of  bread and tulips   first look pictures  in this delightfully frothy italian romantic comedy  after accidentally being left behind by a tour bus while on a family vacation with her cranky husband and two cynical teenagers  rosalba  licia maglietta   an unhappy housewife from pescara  finds herself  and love  in venice  for the first time in years  rosalbas on her own when shes abandoned at a highway rest area  although her philandering husband  antonio catania   a plumbingsupply dealer  orders her to stay there until shes picked up  she impulsively accepts a ride to venice  a bohemian paradise which shes never visited  rosalba finds refuge and romance with fernando  bruno ganz   a gruff icelandic waiter who offers her a spare room in his modest apartment and prepares breakfast for her each morning  to support herself  she gets a job working with a florist  antonio catania   filmmaker silvio soldini gently explores the blossoming of this bored  middleaged  middleclass woman with warmth and affection  savoring special moments such as when rosalba starts playing the accordion again and abandons her maroon stretch pants  silver jacket and orange sneakers for a simple  new redandwhite dress with platformsoled espadrilles  the superb actors slip into their roles seamlessly  particularly luminous licia maglietta and lowkey bruno ganz  along with marina massironi as her nosy massagetherapist neighbor and giuseppe massironi as the inept plumberturnedprivate eye whos sent to retrieve her on orders from her frantic husband  whos discovered that his mistress has no interest in doing his laundry or cleaning the house  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   bread and tulips  is a beguiling  escapist 8  as the summer ends  its a magical getaway for mature audiences   
pos	 i know what you did last summer   the first highprofile slasher thriller to be released after 1996s  scream   and written by the same screenwriter  kevin williamson  is a stylish  effective horror film that became 1997s biggest hit of the fall season  while  scream  was a more knowing film about the genre   i know what you did last summer  is more reminiscent of a straightforward slasher flick  but it is far more intelligent than such bottomofthebarrel guilty pleasures as all nine of the  friday the 13th  films  well  okay   jason goes to hell  was pure hell to sit through   the film starts off with four talented  aspiring teenage friends who have just graduated from high school in their small boating town of southport  n  c  it is the 4th of july  and they will soon be heading their separate ways  kindhearted julie  jennifer love hewitt   and outsider ray  freddie prinze jr   will be headed off to college  while helen  sarah michelle gellar   who has just been honored croaker queen in the town  and her ignorant jock boyfriend  barry  ryan phillippe   are going to new york to become an actress and football player  when the four of them travel to a nearby mountainside beach for the evening  they are dismayed after hitting a man in the road on their way home  distraught and confused  they decide they cant go to the police because they will be charged with manslaughter  so they devise a plan to throw the apparently dead victim off a peer into the ocean  in hopes no one will find him  julie is apprehensive about it  but is forced into it by barry  switch to exactly a year later  julie  still unable to come to terms with what she did  reluctantly returns home from college to find that all three of her old friends are still in the town because their career plans did not work out  almost immediately  julie recieves an ominous letter that simply reads   i know what you did last summer   and that is the start of their problems as they find themselves being terrorized by a mysterious figure dressed in fisherman gear and yielding a giant hook   i know what you did last summer   is a successful horror film for a number of reasons  the cinematography by denis crossan could very well be described as hitchcockian  as it put shadows  fog  steam  and other clever devices to add atmosphere to the proceedings  the characters  particularly julie and helen  are realistically written  and the film amazingly deals with their broken relationship in a few scenes  which is largely uncharacteristic in films of this sort  and last  the film creates a few dazzling and scary setpieces that are some of the most memorable ive seen in a horror movie  particularly the suspenseful  superbly shot sequence involving helen at her familys store with the killer inside with her  perhaps the best character is that of missy egan  anne heche   a lonely backwoods woman whose brother was the one julie thinks they hit  heches performance is a standout  as she is able to create a full character in only about ten minutes of screen time   i know what you did last summer   could have been a great horror movie if not for a few problems  prinze jr  gives a performance to be desired here  and much of his dialogue sounds wooden coming out of his mouth  also  the climax of the film almost completely loses its frightening grip after it unveils the mystery killer  who is a decidedly bad actor and should not have been given any lines  luckily  the penultimate scene saves the disappointing finale  which includes an expertly crafted  jumpinyourseat  scare  in the main roles  hewitt and gellar are highly talented  and hewitt  especially  is one of the best screamers ive ever heard  she honestly could give jamie lee curtis a little competition for the best  scream queen   and gellar is touching as a young woman who  in the course of one year  finds her dream of being an actress ultimately shattered  although not up to the level of either  scream  movies  or the more recent   urban legend    i know what you did last summer  is a respectable  smartlyscripted slasher film that firmly proved good horror movies were once again being made  
pos	labelling is sometimes everything  in original mad max  the opening title set the plot of the movie in near future  thus making it one of the science fiction classics  despite the future world being almost exactly like our own  walter hill wanted the same opening title for his action classic the warriors  producers werent thrilled by that idea and consequently the movie lost all of its futuristic overtones  on the other hand  producers were right on the mark  walter hill was accused of actually promoting some disturbing trends that were quite visible in contemporary america  to make the movie even more distant from future  plot was loosely based on anabasis  historical book written by xenophon  greek mercenary soldier who had described his adventures in ancient persia 2400 years ago  instead of ancient persia  movie begins in contemporary coney island  where cleon  dorsey wright   leader of the warriors  local youth gang  gets invitation to the great gathering of all youth gangs from the city  the gathering  organised by gramercy park riffs  most powerful gang in the city  is taking place in bronx  that is far away from warriors home territory  but small and unarmed delegation of the warriors gets there safely thanks to the general truce  on the gathering  cyrus  roger hill   charismatic leader of the riffs  announces his grand plan to unite all the gangs and take over the city  crowd is enthusiastic  but the small gang of rogues  led by psychopathic luther  david patrick kelly  uses the opportunity to assassinate cyrus  police simultaneously raids the gathering  and in the commotion warriors get blamed by the killing  and their leader gets killed by riffs  the remaining eight  led by cleons lieutenant swann  michael beck   must now try to get to coney island  but this time unprotected by truce and instead being chased by all the gangs  upon its release  despite the controversies and even some youth riots that were allegedly inspired by it  the warriors enjoyed immense popularity and very quickly received some kind of a cult status  however  despite being one of the best movies of that year  and being directed by talented action director walter hill at the peak of his career  the movie failed to leave as strong impression to the future generations as some other cinematic achievements of that same year  the reason for that probably lies in a fact that this movie aged very quickly  if walter hills idea was to warn the public about problems of urban america  he failed miserably  the future was much worse than his vision  the youth gangs  as presented in the warriors  are far from shadowy armies  able to take over entire cities  their members seem more interested in unorthodox fashion and their little petty feuds than such prosaic  and for the public more annoying  matters like crime  in their vocabulary  word  arms  is reserved for small knives and blunt objects  and only few of them use heavy artillery like handguns  they even have their own  very strict and detailed laws  upheld more strictly than some governments do with their own  many people in american cities would be more than happy to see their young criminals behaving like those in the warriors  some of the critics who accused hill of actually praising youth crime had a lot arguments in their favour  despite those objections  the warriors have all the elements of a very good film  the plot is simple  and serves as good basis for numerous action scenes  the fights are brilliantly choreographed and quite realistic  although there isnt much bloodshed or gore in the movie  editing is superb  events happen at quick pace  with the exception of middle  when boring moralistic exchanges between swann and his wouldbegirlfriend mercy  deborah van valkenburgh  drag the plot from straight action to social drama territory  the soundtrack by barry de vorzon is very suggestive and recognisable  yet  the trademark of this film are the actors who showed great talent  although most of them later sunk into anonymity  best known of them is david patrick kelly  whose superb and original performance in this film later subscribed him to the roles of psychopathic villains  michael beck as cool  almost statesmanlike leader of a gang  is also very good  and james remar gives good contrast as his hotshot contender for top spot  all in all  this movie is perhaps dated  yet in its hour and half can give a lot more entertainment than most of the contemporary movies  
pos	for those who associate italian cinema with fellini and  high art   the sons room is an inventive  subtle alternative  written by  directed  and starring nanni moretti  it takes us through the slow  complicated path of bereavement  slow is the best description for the film at first  it takes its time in establishing the habits of what appears to be a normal  happy family  father and mother both work but still find the time to support their son and daughter through homework and after school activities  they laugh  spend free time together  and reprimand the kids for innocent wrongs with a sigh and soft pat on the shoulder  you get the feeling there is open communication and unconditional love amongst the foursome  but suddenly  the son is found to be dead after a diving accident  the family dynamics begin an unpredictable descent that gives the narrative strength when you least expect it  but can also be trying on the attention span  though the film drags and even repeats itself  this can be somewhat excused as influenced by the process of grieving  though nanni moretti wore several hats for this production  it doesnt come across as a vanity piece  one might wish he hadnt picked the profession of analyst for the father  giovanni  which he stars as   if only because this makes his characters reactions so predictable  what saves it is a well written script  with spare dialogue and an eclectic variety of human interaction  the potency of the film lies in the recreation of the tiny details of everyday life that alter due to the death of a close relative  or that remind a depressed person of loss  you start to take notice of the cracked dishes  ignored when familial bliss was in full swing  you remember bonding during the routine jogs around the block  and not necessarily huge events like graduation  even better are the role reversals that take place within the household  while giovanni and paola  laura morante  do check up on their daughter irene  jasmine trinca   there is a sense of being on autopilot  not only does irene begin to take care of her own needs more  shell make her parents breakfast in an attempt to crack their new shells to life around them  these scenes provide interesting portrayals of various coping mechanisms  frequently crossing a boundary as to how much you can help yourself versus others during drastic  unexpected change  respectfully  gender issues never enter the picture  selfpropelled isolation is universal in terms of dealing  so moretti intelligently uses this tool to separate the family  though giovanni does stop paolo from discussing andrea at a party with friends  there is never a sense that he or she is more stoic  or more correct in the search to restore a sense of a balance to their lives  most films that broach the topic of death utilize annoying melodrama  speeches  and conciliatory issues to get the waterworks flowing  in contrast  the sons room captures a more realistic depiction of the effects of death on a family by graciously flowing among the five stages of mourning  denial  depression  anger  bargaining  acceptance  through each of its main characters  its not the most engaging 100 minutes  but it is certainly easy to relate to  
pos	the word rest in the title should be stressed since this is a movie that lacks any action scenes at all  what does takes place is more based on character development  the film starts right in the middle of the lives of four people  nick  beth  carol and sid  what they have done earlier is for the most part only hinted at  nick and beth have a relationship and have decided to move from enfield  arizona to butte  montana   and i who thought that butte was pronounced slightly different     carol is nicks exgirlfriend and beths best friend  sid is a jointsmoking painter that comes to repaint their house before the new tenants move in  obviously based on a stage play  the problem with the movie is that theres a lot of things left out  its not obvious that nick and beth are in love with each other  the reason why nick was fired from his job isnt mentioned  and why nick suddenly decide to go visit his parents remain a mystery  when he hasnt seen them for many years  set in a small  fictional   town in arizona was a good move  since this makes the film focus on the four characters and not on their surroundings  the name of the city is not important  this could take place anywhere with four young people in a house discussing life and the future  particularly impressive is bridget fonda as beth who end up in bed with sid when her fiance nick leaves her  not an actress that i have found interesting earlier or seen many pictures with  but ill keep an eye on her in the future  interesting trivia  this was rated r in the us but rated barntill  ten in sweden wich means that anyone at any age can see it  
pos	airplane  is considered among many to be the epitome of satire filmmaking  after all  its brought to us by one of the best known satire writingdirecting teams  even if most people dont recognize the names behind the films  they are bound to recognize the titles  airplane   top secret  the naked gun  and hot shots to name a few  but although the zuckerabrahamszucker team was first introduced with the kentucky fried movie in 1977  airplane  remains the true cornerstone of their work  and their directorial debuts  in the seventies  disaster films seemed to be at an all time high  films like earthquake  the towering inferno  and the poseidon adventure were big hits  there was also a series about the disasters that can arise when traveling by plane  a series that spanned the entire decade  and so  in 1980  we were introduced to a new airplane disaster film  this time the disaster had nothing to do with a maniacal hijacker or crashing into the ocean    it had to do with bad fish  airplane  is the story of ted striker  robert hays   an exfighterpilot who has never gotten over the fact that a decision he had to make in the midst of war led to the death of six  er  seven comrades  unable to stop living in the past  teds world fell apart  he spent his time moving from city to city without ever having a stable job  and eventually  as we begin this film  is getting dumped by his lover  flight attendant elaine dickinson  julie hagerty   in a desperate attempt not to lose her  ted buys a ticket for the same flight elaine is working  unfortunately  she is unsympathetic and even criticizes ted for following her  which leaves him wallowing in selfpity  in the midst of it all  something happens  someone gets sick  then another  then another  soon  the whole plane is full of deathlyill chicagobound people    and when the pilots get sick  played by peter graves  kareem abduljabbar  and frank ashmore   who will save the day   gee  i wonder  of course the main draw here is the nonstop  whizbang  comedy  with a hefty dose of both visual and spoken gags  although i had seen this movie a few times before  i was still laughing thru the entire thing  the most fun character by far is the doctor  played by leslie nielsen  hes a dry  subtle  sterotypically straightfaced doctor that ends up saying some of the funniest lines of the film  in a film like this  youre not really expecting an elaborate production  so one cant complain about the amateurish quality  what you can complain about is the absolutely annoying johnny  played by stephen stucker  this character is pointless  nauseating  and very unfunny  i dont know why he was put in there  and i dont think anybody will find a good excuse  and when the film nears an end  it slows down quite a bit  almost getting old  you gotta give it to a movie that only runs 88 minutes and can feel two hours long  aside from that  airplane  is really a topnotch spoof that will likely forever be known as a spoof classic  it would be a good choice to pop in the vcr with a group of friends  especially if they havent seen it  and if they ask what the plot is  just tell em  its a synopsis of the basic storyline of the film  but thats not important right now   if youve seen the film  youll understand    
pos	this is the movie not the perfume  a slow moving  stylish psychological thriller in imitation of hitchcocks vertigo  it is adapted from an original story by brian de palma and paul schrader  and is directed by de palma and scripted by schrader  set in new orleans  1959  it shows the wealthy michael courtland  cliff robertson  sitting on top of the world  celebrating his tenth wedding anniversary with a party in his mansion  as his lovely wife elizabeth  genevi  ve bujold  and young daughter amy  blackman   both look up to him beaming with joy  his realestate development partner bob la salle  john lithgow  proposes a toast to him and to their prosperous business  while his high society friends give him their best wishes  upon retiring for the night  his daughter and wife are kidnapped in their bedroom and he is left with a ransom note to deliver 500  000 tomorrow or they will be killed  inspector brie  stanley reyes  comes up with a plan to put in phony money and a transmitter in the briefcase exchange  as that will lead them to the kidnappers  but the kidnappers burst out of the house surrounded by the police  taking the two victims with them and in the pursuing police chase  the kidnappers car explodes and goes over the bridge  where none of the bodies were found  grieving the loss of his wife and child  the guiltridden michael builds them a tomb on the expensive land they were to develop  sixteen years later he goes with his partner bob on a vacation and he revisits florence  italy  where he met his wife  when he goes to the church where they met  he sees a young girl who looks exactly like his wife  her name is sandra portinari  genevi  ve bujold  and shes working there restoring art that is decaying  he falls instantly in love with her and doesnt heed bobs warnings that she might be a gold digger and decides to take her back to new orleans and marry her  sandra becomes his second chance to prove his love  as he thinks he can finally put the past behind him  the surprises to come werent really all that surprising  as the beauty in the storytelling is almost exclusively in the understated acting by the soul stricken cliff robertson  the emotionally impactful performance by genevi  ve bujold  and the competent acting of john lithgow  it plays too much like a rehash of the masters work  to break any new ground  yet it is still thrilling in its own way  
pos	the farrelly brothers third film  after dumb and dumber  7  510  and kingpin  810   brings together the reallife couple of cameron diaz and matt dillon  some nasty humour  a cute dog  and a mix of love  fate and romance  plot  highschool nerd ted gets lucky when the cutest girl in his class asks him to the prom  unfortunately for ted  he accidentally gets a part of his male anatomy  ouch   caught in his zipper  and misses the big night  thirteen years later  ted still cant get mary out of his mind  and hires a private detective  dillon  to find her  once found  it turns out that mary has more than one suitor  and thats when the real fun begins  critique  likeable comedy with a few extremely funny scenes  some funny looking people  and a plot that wont ever put you to sleep  having said that  i must admit that i did like the farrellys two previous films more than this one  but that is saying a lot  since i really did love those earlier pics  this one is also quite funny  but it didnt really blow me away like the others  then again  maybe my expectations were too high  then again  maybe i should shut up  and write a little more about the film  and less about my supposed subconscious reasons for likingdisliking the film  continuing where their other pictures left off  the farrellys create a cutesy world of people with strange and endearing qualities  and a simple plot by which to tie them all together  this one also includes plenty of toilet humour  but also some borderline funmaking of the disabled and mentallychallenged  i must admit that i really wasnt sure whether to laugh at some points or not  not a good place to be  having said that  the scenes that did tear through the audience  and yours truly  were extremely hilarious  and went on for several minutes after the punchline  the laughter practically killed out the next scene for one of the best ones in the movie  something to do with hair gel   on the negative end  i did not like the musical interludes of jonathan richman that ran through the entire picture  i found them quite useless  unfunny and distracting  also  i found that a lot of the funnier scenes had already been shown in the films trailer  and of course  i never quite buy the fact that these beautiful  intelligent  single women still cant seem to find the  right guy   see kiss the girls  710   i did really like all of the actors in the film  especially ben stiller  who appears to be solidifying his mark as a great comical actor with this picture and one of my favourites from 1996  flirting with disaster  810   i also liked matt dillon with his big teeth  and lee evans with his superb fauxsympathy british accent  funny stuff  also  make sure that you stay for the credits  because there is an entire montage of outtakes from the film that plays under a lipsynched version of  build me up buttercup   which is really cool  overall  a cute comedy with a decent premise  and a few particularly hilarious scenes  little known facts  the farrellys big break came when they somehow got a copy of their script  dust to dust  into the hands of eddie murphy via  murphys neighbour  they only found out about murphys interest  when they saw eddie mention the script on the david letterman show one night  matt dillon is a high school dropout  in between acting gigs  dillon has branched out into the restaurant business  close to home in his native new york  he coowns both a bar called the whiskey and a swanky uptown eatery called the falls  cameron diaz stands 5  9  started working as a model at the early age of 16  and loves cats  ben stillers father is jerry stiller  he played george costanzas  jason alexander  father on tvs  seinfeld   peter farrelly has written a novel entitled  outside providence  which is currently being filmed starring alec baldwin  rob moran  who plays the cop in this film  also played the millionaire bowler in kingpin  and the bartender in dumb and dumber  he is old friends with the farrelly brothers from college  and is currently married to entertainment tonight anchorcorrespondant julie moran  harland williams  who plays the nutty hitchhiker in this film  also played a state trooper in the farrellys earlier dumb and dumber  and was the star of the unfortunate rocket man  
pos	when jim henson passed away  he left behind diverse legions of fans and a company whose ultimate success  it now seems  hinged on his input  jim henson productions and the creature shop are still thriving financially  but as the last two muppet films  or that silly computergenerated monkey from lost in space  demonstrate  the thrill and genius are gone  im not sure the dark crystal  made today  would generate from an audience of kids five to fifty the same awefilled response  an allpowerful crystal has cracked  causing the leaders of the green world to split apart into two beings  the big  gentle mystics  and the vulturelike skeksis  the mystics send jen  a naive gelfling boy  on a mission to find the shard that cracked away  which must be reinserted into the crystal before the skeksis become eternal rulers  before the great  conjunction  of three suns  along the way  jen encounters and teams up with the only other gelfling alive  the rebecca demornaylike kira  an ogrewitch named aughra  who removes her eyes to look at things  and a spasticbutfriendly  tumbleweedlike animal named fizzgig  much of the beauty in the dark crystal  which is a simple tale  though it does not condescend to any viewer   lies in its art direction and creature design  the puppeteering is phenomenalobserve the scenes in which jen plays his flute  or the landwalker chasebut i must stress that any thoughts of strings and hands and remote controls all but vanish in the opening moments of the picture  a delicatelynarrated  by john baddeley   absorbing prologue  the voice work in the film  by muppet regulars and irregulars  is toneperfect  as well  trevor jones score should not be discounted  it contributes to the film almost as an unseen character  i suppose  due to the complexity involved in executing a movie of this nature  that it couldnt be helped  but i wish the film was longer  jen and kira have wonderful    well  chemistry  and more scenes of them quietly conversing would have been appreciated  the dark crystal has a very small cult following  the weaker labyrinth is probably betterknown  which is upsetting  a friend of mine related a story to me that henson was pressured into planting humans among labyrinths creatures due to the financial failure of peopleless the dark crystal  that film never quite found its footing  it played like an acidtrip episode of  the muppet show  with david bowie as guesthost  borrowing from tolkien and pandering to tolkiens fanbase   i suppose i just made labyrinth sound appetizing to a certain sector of the public   the dark crystal deserved  and still deserves  a bigger audience  its the best kind of childrens entertainment  elegant  fantastical  and courageously unhip  brian henson  fortunate son  keep looking back at this  your fathers masterpiece  
pos	bob the happy bastards quickie review  the mummy brendan frasers stuck in the past again  but at least this time he has something better to do than to quote sitcom lines and try to woo alicia silverstone    fraser is the lead star of the mummy  the second directorial effort from action director stephen sommers  who also brought us the decent thrill ride that was deep rising   its a rough adaptation of the 1932 film  and i say rough because it focuses more on special effects than on some guy in bandages  like boris karloff was engulfed in  but who cares  the movie has a sort of swashbuckling quality to it you cant get from  oh  say  godzilla or armageddon  fraser plays a soldier who gets a premonition during a battle with soldiers in an egyptian ground  basically  its a little sign from the mummy buried underneath a priest named ihmoetep who was buried alive for taking part of murdering the king and making out with his mistress  his plan wake back up and wake her up also  making him invincible  of course  fraser returns to the site years later with a librarian  rachel weisz  and her brother  john hanna   along with a former buddy of his  deep risings kevin j  oconnor  and some  americans     and guess what  yup  ihmoetep  arnold vosloo  awakens and wreaks havoc  fire flies from the sky  flesheating beetles crawl about  and  well  ihmoeteps plan begins to unfold  ok  so its not really all that new a story  but the way sommers tells it is entertaining enough  the special effects from industrial light and magic are top notch  and the acting from fraser and weisz isnt half bad either  the action is pretty intense  favorite scene  the sandstorm  and there are a few shocking scenes just to jolt you horrorloving folks as well  no  its no phantom menace beater  but if youre looking for a solid warmup to the summer movie season  you wont find a better film under wraps than the mummy  if this doesnt give fraser forgiveness from blast from the past and encino man  then nothing will  
pos	the laserman  somehow the title of writerdirectorproducer peter wangs film conjures up images of superheroes  like ultraman and spiderman  you kind of expect an adventure flick about a crime fighter who can shoot laser beams from his fingertips  as it turns out  the laserman is about crime and about laser beams  but there arent any superheroes  instead  wangs film is populated by a group of refreshingly offbeat characters living in the ultimate cultural melting pot  new york city  the laserman is a comic brew which celebrates ethnicity  eccentricity  and electricity  the film tells the bizarre story of arthur weiss  marc hayashi   a chineseamerican laser scientist whose life becomes incredibly hectic after he accidentally kills his lab assistant in an experiment  he loses his job but finds work with a mysterious company which secretly plans to use laser technology to commit dastardly deeds  arthurs professional life is cluttered with moral dilemmas  his personal life  on the other hand  is cluttered with colorful friends and quirky relatives  in fact  arthur is by far the blandest character in the film  despite a charismatic performance by hayashi  the san franciscobased actor whose films include chan is missing and the karate kid ii   its the auxiliary characters who give the laserman its unique spark  arthurs notsotypical jewish mother  ruth  for example  is convinced that a chinese soul is trapped in her jewish body  she has dyed her red hair black  she takes herbal medicine daily  and she is perpetually cooking up strange delicacies  such as matzo balls in soy saucethe ultimate fusion of jewish and chinese cuisine  veteran stage actress joan copeland takes the part and runs with it  almost stealing the movie in the process  she plays ruth as a driven woman  determined to overcome her genetic heritage by immersing herself in chinese culture  arthurs girlfriend janet  maryann urbano  is a kooky freespirit who would rather meditate than copulate  her ultimate goal is orgasm through zen meditation  arthurs best friend  joey  tony leung   is a small time thief who hustles everything from microwave ovens to machine guns  joey is married to arthurs jewish sister  but he is also having an affair with a chinese immigrant who works in a whore house  arthurs 11yearold son  jimmy  played by the amazingly adorable david chan  ishorror of horrorsbad at math  he finds it impossible to meet his fathers lofty expectations  the various people in arthurs life come together to form a rich tapestry of humanity  like wangs earlier film  a great wall  about a san francisco family visiting relatives in china   the laserman revolves around cultural differences  every character in the film is  in some way or another  trying to find his identitystruggling to negotiate a balance between his native culture and the american way  the movie also offers a provocative look at technology  wang appears in the movie as lieutenant lu  a detective who is fed up with machines  even though he relies on them to do his job  the film views technology with a wary eye  acknowledging its necessity while at the same time realizing its potential dangers  wang raises the timehonored question of whether scientists should be held responsible for their inventions  was einstein responsible for the abomb  is arthur weiss responsible for his lasers  the movie pits spirituality against technology  man against machine  and the result is a draw  according to the film  technology has its place  but we must employ it with great forethought and caution  ironically  by its very nature  the laserman is a triumph of technologythe technology of filmmaking  wangs direction is exquisite  especially during the tense finale in which the director frantically crosscuts between the various subplots  perhaps in homage to d  w  griffith  cinematographer ernest dickerson  who has worked on all of spike lees films  gives the laserman a distinctive  artistic look  mason darings score  which includes a sendup of bach  is right on target  the laserman is an ambitious endeavor  which is to be applauded  but its sometimes ambitious to a fault  wang serves up so many slices of life in the film that its hard to digest them all  for instance  one character  arthurs sister  has negligible screen time  and consequently we just dont care about her marital problems  in weaving his web  wang has included a few too many strands  overall  however  the laserman is a charmingly eclectic concoction  on the surface  the film is a light and bouncy comedythriller  overflowing with whimsical humor and visual style  the heavier issues emerge only when you take a deeper look at the film  you can ponder the moral questions or you can just sit back and enjoy the absurdity of life in china town  
pos	imagine this  youre given a sword and a shield and very basic  minimal training  a man you dont know tells you that this will be the last day that you will live  you are thrown into an arena with thousands of spectators wanting to see you die  you frantically monitor several closed doors which  in seconds  will release vicious enemies prepared to destroy you  you watch as the innocent friends you made in the last few days are murdered in cold blood  if you are lucky enough to survive this chaos thrown at you  you know youre going to have to do it all over again tomorrow  eventually know matter how strong or skilled you are  youre going to die  this is the life of a gladiator  youll never have to be a gladiator and after seeing ridley scotts powerful gladiator  youll be thankful for that  with his new film  scott has returned cinema to the fascinating age of the ancient roman empire  and like those preceding it  spartacus and ben hur  gladiator has nearly everything going for it  a strong lead actor  a wonderful supporting cast  eyecatching special effects  and a great script  since the two aforementioned films came out before the prime target viewers of gladiator  teenagers to thirtyyearold males  were around  a whole new genre may just be reborn and revisited  from a weak beginning  the film starts off extremely gloomy and inauspicious  romes best general maximus  russell crowe   who has helped the empire conquer nearly everywhere they have attempted  is currently  in the year 180 a  d  that is  waging a war against germania  scott shoots the gory battle in an awkward style  similar to that of saving private ryan but much less effective  its blurry  in slow motion  and the sound is muted  as soon as this artistic method began  it was hard to tell what was what and who was who  its a good thing scott stops this after the first twenty minutes or else gladiator would have been torture to watch  instead  the general swears he will get out after this battle  he wants to go back to his family and his crops  he wants a quiet life  but  unexpectedly  he gets anything but that  the dying emperor of rome  marcus aurelius  richard harris   decides to have maximus appointed new emperor of rome once he dies  he asks maximus to restore the republic by giving more power to the senators  all of this does not go well for aurelius son  commodus  joaquin phoenix  who was expecting his father to name him the new emperor  jealous and upset  commodus kills his own father  names himself emperor  kills maximus wife and son  and attempts to kill maximus  but maximus is able to escape his own death and vows to kill commodus and fulfill marcus aurelius wishes  now a slave  the only way he can win his own freedom and complete his goal is to become a winning gladiator  who eventually are released for their success  a story of betrayal and promises  gladiator is more than just a mindless action flick  you actually care about the characters  sometimes even the evil villain commodus  who is just a young man as determined to make rome one way as maximus is determined to make it the other way  phoenix plays his character brilliantly  think of commodus as the percy wetmore  of pantwetter the green mile  of the roman empire  a whiny  sleazy   respectmebecausemyfatherwasagoodman  brat who hates when hes not the center of attention  every scene we see commodus  hes either crying or he looks like he has just been crying  phoenix has definitely matured as an actor since to die for  and gladiator shows hes more than just rivers little brother  crowe is also excellent as the films grislyfaced hero  maximus is one of the few characters in recent cinema who actually has emotions  this guy actually acts like a anyone in his situation would act  hes no invincible superhero who only blurts out oneliners  he  believe it or not  acts like a human being  the rest of the cast  including richard harris  djimon hounsou  walter hill  derek jacobi  and connie nielsen are also first rate  ridley scott  using outstanding special effects  has brilliantly recreated the roman coliseum  the loudness of the roman mob  and the city of rome in general  the visuals are breathtaking and voluminous  like a cleopatra of the year 2000  the costuming is also wonderful from the detailed shields and armor to the exquisite dress of the upperclass politicians  gladiator is another movie you have to see on the big screen to get the most out of the experience  along with u571  action fans should have plenty to see in theaters this week and should expect much more excitement to come this summer of 2000  
pos	so here is the second of 1999s remakes of classic horror movies  the first was the dumb  pathetic but ok remake of the classic the haunting  now comes the highly awaited remake of house on haunted hill  the classic which starred vincent price as a man who pays a group of people 100  000 to stay in his house  if they survive the night they get the money  if not well you get the jurisdiction  having not yet seen the film  dvd on its way  i wasnt sure if i would really like the remake  but sure enough it comes through and has a great storyline to fall back on  geoffrey rush  in a fantastic role with an incredible performance  is steven price  the owner of an amusement park destined to scare the wits out of people  his wife evelyn price is throwing a party with her friends  steven dismays at the idea and makes his own list  somehow someone  or something changes that list and five other people are invited to the party  eddie  taye diggs  an exbaseball player  sarah  ali carter  an exassistant who can rewire anything  melissa  brigette wilson  a talkshow host in sorts  dr  blackburn  peter ghallager   and watson  chris kattan  a smartmouthed humorist in ways  what he is gonna do is pay these five people 1  000  000 dollars if they can survive through the night  if they can they get the money  if not well they dont  the house on haunted hill used to be an insane asylum  years before mental patients broke out and killed the dr  there  forcing him to lock the place up because if he died  so did they  everyone who was in there burned to death  now it is steven prices home and he is throwing this party for these five people  what starts out as a seemingly normal night  turns into a horrifying  blood splattering night  the deep dark secrets of what really happened in that asylum and why those guests are actually there are revealed  onebyone the people start to disappear  conspiracies start to turn up  and steven price finds out that his house may be alive after all  the people find rooms  which once held mental patients  rooms which once had people dying  rooms which may still contain these people  now these five people must try and survive the night and try and survive the house  and they must survive each other with terrorfying results  since i officially havent seen the original i cant say which is better  i can say however i liked this movie  geoffrey rush gives a one in a million performance as the rich steven price  and does a great job doing a vincent price role  famke jansen as his wife was great and even kind of eerie at times  ali carter and taye diggs sort of become the main characters and ali carter who debuted in varsity blues gives a fantastic performance here as does taye diggs  chris kattan gives us great comic relief and the movie contains a lot of comical lines  peter ghallager and brigette wilson were great as well and gave commanding performances as potential victims  the plot was well conceived and was very absorbing  the movie has atmosphere the whole way through that is disturbing and creepy  and even sometimes downright scary  i found even the opening credits to me a little ominous  one thing i knew not to expect was a haunting type movie with special effects galore  even though it had fantastic gore and special effects  the movie has only a 19 million dollar budget  which doesns show all the way through but you can tell  the movie was written well  and its only major flaw is the underdeveloped characters and plot holes that we are left with  the ending is quite clever and some may not even get it  i must say house on haunted hill was a surprise  i was expecting another haunting with special effects  no scares and a dumb ending  instead i found a good halloween movie with gore  scares and great acting  house on haunted hill is one of those movies you really cant take seriously  though it is a wellmade movie with a good storyline it still has some flaws  but besides that the movie is fun  smart and scary and makes us wonder why remakes like this cant be made all the time  
pos	apollo 13 is simply one of the most dramatic film this summer  apart from swashbuckling braveheart   director  and former actor  ron howard  splash  backdraft  far  away   most noted for his dramatic film making  displays again his brilliance in creating drama and suspense in apollo 13  being the second largest box office hit in the us this summer  with more than us150 million in the states alone   this film is his most successful effort yet  perhaps one of the most appealing feature of this film is the pool of talented actors such as tom hanks  gump himself   kevin bacon  footloose  tremors  a few good men etc    gary sinise  forrest gump   bill paxton  aliens  true lies  boxing helena  and ed harris  the abyss  just cause    all of whom gave good performances in their respective roles  apollo 13 was the second worst accident ever to occur in the history of us spaceflight  the worst being the challenger accident   jim lovell  hanks   the mission commander  together with his crew  fred haise  paxton  and last minute replacement tom swigert  bacon  are put to the ultimate test when part of their command module explodes on the third day of the mission  more than three quarters way to the moon  suspense and drama ensue as the three men are left in space with their spaceship out of control and the problem of surviving the journey home    if they ever reach it  ed harris and gary sinise who play  respectively  the man in charge of the entire mission control and the astronaut who was supposed to fly but was diagnosed with measles  both delve into their roles superbly  audiences are shown the chaotic and worrisome state of the entire ground control crew  as they frantically attempt to come up with ideas on how to save the astronauts from hurtling into space  also  there are quite a number of real news footages which were broadcast during the accident which took the entire us nation into 5 days of drama in 1970  the special effects by digital domain are up to standard and the music suits the suspense and drama very well  thanks to filmmusic maestro james horner  watch out for the launching sequence  it is simply one of the most breathtaking scenes of the film  a bad point though  apollo 13 features much technical jargon and many physics concepts in its script  those who consider themselves scientifically illiterate might have a slight problem understanding what caused this and what caused that during the course of the show  this is however  just a minor point  just forget all those technical bullshit and immerse yourselves into the drama and suspense throughout the film  you should enjoy it  
pos	in daylight  sylvester stallone breaks no new ground  cinematically speaking  but he covers familiar territory quite well  yesterday  as i was going about my business in the university bookstore  i noticed this stand with these daylight movie posters on it  i had never heard of the movie  so i stopped by to check it out  it turned out that they were giving away free passes to the movie for people who had or applied for the credit card they were offering  so  i shrugged  thought   hey  they probably wont give me the card anyway  and i could always use a free movie   so i signed up  all in all  i dont think i got that bad of a deal  either  rob cohen  who has previously brought us such films as dragon  the bruce lee story and  more recently  dragonheart  gee  i wonder if he likes dragons for some reason  you think    now brings us a very nicely executed disaster picture  with fx by industrial light and magic  about the aftereffects of an explosion that collapses a busy tunnel between new york and new jersey  sylvester stallone plays kit latura  who is essentially a carbon copy of the character he played in cliffhanger  a paramedic on the outs because he made a mistake that got people killed  when the crisis hits  he is in the right place at the right time and takes it upon himself to go in and get everybody out  there are other similarities to cliffhanger  too  perhaps the only real difference is that cliffhanger had a villain  where daylights bad guy is mother nature  in fact  had the two movies been made in hong kong  this might have been titled cliffhanger iiit bears the same relationship to that film that most hk film  sequels  do to their predecessors  the first halfhour of daylight is setup  subplots are woven  and the mechanism of the disaster is assembled  we meet all the important people    toxic waste disposal truck drivers  a young  frustrated  jilted  rejected playwright  a family struggling to stay together  an older couple and their dog  a truckload of prisoners  an ad agency executive  a tunnel police officer  stallone  and others  we watch the trucks trundle toward their destination  we watch stallone and so many others driving toward the tunnel for their various reasons  and then  thirty minutes into the film  boom  and its a big one  from there on in  its sly stallone to the rescue  and rescue he does  enduring batterings  beatings  falls  repeated immersion in 34degree water  explosions  mud  rats  and constant setbacks  before going on to save the day  slystyle  again    theres nothing new here  and yet there doesnt need to be  the fun of daylight is not in the story but in the execution  the specialeffects are firstrate  thanks to industrial light and magic  and the ensemble cast works well together  once the film hits its stride  it carries the viewer right along to the finish  with very few jars along the way  this review is copyright 1996 by christopher e  meadows  permission granted for distribution through rec  arts  movies  reviews and all associated archival  permission granted for free redistribution via cyberspace as long as this message remains attached  all other rights reserved to the author  
pos	perhaps the most dramatic changes in the motion picture industry in this decade have to do with special effects  there is no question that actionadventure and sciencefictionaction movies are now judged by the character of their light and noise  whereas classic adventure pics of the last twenty years  such as raiders of the lost ark  were made in grand traditional fashion  contemporary films like jurassic park are multimilliondollar creations of computer technology  the latest in this visually awesome series of movies  the wachowski brothers the matrix  is a testament to the skilled use of special effects and its ability to enhance a movies story  unlike many scifi movies which promote themselves as effectsheavy blockbusters but fail to deliver on that promise  the matrix is a carefully constructed special effects event  it runs 135 minutes in length and employs a countless number of computerized tricks which range from gimmick to grandiose  and the quality of the effects remains constant throughout the films length  contrary to popular trend  the matrix commits itself to being a spectacle of light and sound  in this regard  the movie is something like a card sharp  with its flashy mass stripped away  the matrix would be quite shallow and untalented  the script is characteristically weak  and the dialogue suffers in lieu of a far more innovative visual approach  but  like the card sharp  the matrix wows its audience to such a high degree that actual content is irrelevent  the viewers dont care about what the matrix has to say as long as the next special effects sequence is right around the corner  and right around the corner they usually are  for the script tells a fastpaced  albeit frequently revisited story  as the movie explains  the world as we know it is nothing but an elaborate computer program constructed by an artificial intelligence for the purpose of placating mankind  billions of human beings lie in this dormant state while the intelligence  the matrix   farms  our life energy  only a select group of individuals knows of the  real  world  and a particularly ingenious squad of these rebels is led by ultracool morpheus  laurence fishburne   morpheus and his crew recruit a computer expert named neo  keanu reeves   believing he is a prophesied individual who will help them overthrow the matrix and return peace to earth  the cast plays out this story in stylish fashion  the set design is very dynamic  running the gambit between cramped and dreary to bright and airy  the costumes  as well as the actors who wear them  add to the roles  for instance  the manifested antagonists in the movie  a group of  agents  created by the matrix in its computer program  all dress in matching secret servicewear  the rebel fighters  on the other hand  dress in rich hues of leather  the casting cannot be criticized  for the typically stoic reeves isnt required to say much and laurence fishburne gets plenty of time to be so damn cool  supports in carrieanne moss  joe pantoliano  and hugo weaving are all effectual  one of the best comparisons to thw matrix is last years science fiction masterpiece dark city  particularly if one ponders how this same premise wouldve worked from a different approach  the alex proyas film was far more dark and introspective  requiring a bit of thought before themes became clear  here  the wachowski brothers have managed to construct a thrillride motion picture with little abandon and much noise  the better picture between the two depends on the viewer  but the key to the success of the matrix is that the noise did not get in the way of the fun  
pos	let me open this one with a confession  i love cop movies  i adore them with such an unwavering  near foolish passion that i was actually one of the first in line to see 1998s one tough cop starring the smirkiest of the baldwin brothers  steven  was it any good  well  just about as good as baldwins steven seagal impression  for those ive confused the answer is a resounding no    now let me clarify  i dont love just any cop movie  im not too keen on the smug buddy cop flicks that were so in vogue in the 80s and now slowly  gulp  returning thanks to jackie chan and chris tucker  im partial to those gritty  earthy cop dramas like serpico  donnie brasco  and the french connection  problem is these films come along just about as often as george w  bush makes a cogent point so whenever a  true  cop movie does hit multiplexes  i come running towards it like an eager puppy    and inevitably i leave  head bowed  tripping over my squiggly tail  so what is it about cop movies that transform me into a moron willing to shell out 7  50 for a movie called one tough cop  which actually sounds a lot like a wiseguy spinoff  no    truth is im a sucker for those barren streets  that gritty  graffiti strewn modernist jungle where dangerous criminals lurk and cops  like modern day knights  must shield us from their iniquitous clutches  yes its all very corny and awfully boys clubish  which  im guessing  is precisely where these feelings come from  as little tots us boys are brought up to create our own wars with gi joes  enact cops and robbers or cowboy and indian fantasies  etc  the best gritty cop films tap into those gleeful adolescent fantasies  and heighten them  turning it all into an existential nightmare of thin moral lines and psychological chaos  as an adult my tastes havent changed all that drastically  sure i can get a cerebral high from the emotional complexities of a krzysztof kieslowski film  but i still delight at the promise a  guy  film could potentially bring  now what if its the cops whore the corrupt ones  ooh that one really gets me going  these protectors using all that at their service  taking advantage of others for their own gain  throw a courtroom drama  yech   into the pot and you have the tremendously absorbing sidney lumet film prince of the city  how absorbing is prince of the city  you ask  so damn absorbing that when the film shifts from gritty undercover cop drama to courtroom drama  a subgenre i loath the way kristy swanson must loath sarah michelle gellar  i remained completely and utterly involved  the film stars treat williams  who gives the kind of performance that should have skyrocketed his career up to the level that brad pitt currently resides at  since i was hatched a mere two years prior to the release of prince of the city  i cannot provide an answer as to why it didnt   though judging from his recent roles in tripe like deep rising and dead heat i would guess that it probably has something to do with quite a few bad career moves   like mickey rourke and eric roberts  both of whom are currently doing time in direct to video purgatory  williams is a talented leading man who didnt make it to where he should have   if there was any justice in this dog gone world keanu reeves would be the one banished to direct to video hell   here  the actor is given a role not all that dissimilar from al pacinos in serpico  also directed by lumet   williams plays danny ciello  a member of an elite squad of police officers who take down drug dealers on the gritty prejuliani streets of new york  they work without uniforms or hours much like paid vigilantes  and that analogy is more than apt seeing as how the bunch are kinda sorta forced into using corrupt means to get the job done  the squad relies entirely on informants  low level junkies  to gain access to the big wigs  and in order to obtain the info they seek  they sometimes have to provide the junkies with the junk of their choice  danny has done this  and though hes a fairly honorable guy  who took the job in order to do good  his intentions have gotten a bit skewed along the way  he seeks redemption and concludes that the best way to go about getting it is by talking to internal affairs who then convince him to go undercover as a  double agent   he does so with one condition  he will not rat on his partners  right away we know that that is exactly what hell have to do  and watching the movie build to that is thrilling in the way that any great character driven story can be  undercover cop films are almost innately exciting  even the kind that pull out all the cliches  like in too deep   how can one not be moved by the issues of betrayal  ambiguity  and the danger in putting oneself in such a risky position  prince of the city takes all this and charges it with a perceptive  hard boiled script and taut unintrusive direction by old pro sidney lumet  as well as a handful of intense performances  most notably by treat  lumets greatest contribution to the movie is how he lays back  and lets the camera soak up the action  his scenes transition rapidly from one to the next building layers of tension  and he rarely holds for reaction shots  instead he clicks away at precisely the moment a character stops yakking  lumets worst tendency is one that many film makers  especially oliver stone  tend to overuse  he relies a little too heavily on actors shouting their lines at each other presumably in order to ratchet up the tension  this isnt as much a problem here as it was in night falls on manhattan  lumets most recent cop  lawyer endeavor  a movie that nearly gave me an ulcer from just watching  though of late lumet has made several really awful career choices  maybe he and treat should get together for a drink or something   the most recent a completely unnecessary remake of gloria  here he was on  sustaining tension in a film that runs for 167 minutes with not one dull spot  some of the formula pictures i like the best are the most simplistic  hollywood often forgets how easy it is to make these kinds of pictures even tolerable  of course cop movies arent popular anymore  yes buddy cop flicks are popular but those are more like extended sitcoms with gunfire amid the punch lines   but just look at the average hollywood action movies  flicks so bloated and full of unnecessary fat like the boring love interest that serves no purpose other than to stall the action and demonstrate that our hero isnt gay  the lame comic relief character whos never funny  and on and on  for all its moral ambiguities prince of the city is a back to the basics cop  courtroom drama that leaves out all the crap and really thrills  it focuses completely on its story  and its characters all of whom are completely believable from the cops to the lawyers to the junkies  theres a great scene early on where an irate williams shouts at an ia officer and looks as if hes about to go into one of those corny braveheart inspirational speeches  but instead he breaks down in front of the cop and begins sobbing  this is a scene that would never make it into a michael bay film  even though bruce willis sacrifices his life at the end of armageddon  not one damn tear  it would be cut out because the director would say oh that makes him too human  excuse me  weak  in the very next scene danny speaks in a hushed raspiness  straining to get the words out  hes lost his voice  does that little itty bitty detail matter  maybe not to most  but it sure made my night  and in a sprawling epic of corruption  greed  betrayal and violence its nice to see that someone is paying attention to the little things  
pos	carla gugino graduates from high school and instead of staying in her small farming town  she goes to college in california  there she meets the residential advisor pauly shore  who is a city boy  when gugino goes back home for thanksgiving  she brings shore with her  and her parents  lane smith and cindy pickett  are less than thrilled  dan gauthier  guginos boyfriend from high school  proposes to gugino  gugino isnt ready for anything like this so she makes up the story that she is engaged to shore  she and shore have to make it look like they are engaged while her parents try to make it end  forget jurassic park  cliffhanger  the firm and last action hero  soninlaw is the film to see this summer  soninlaw is a great romantic comedy that should please the viewers  especially fans of the wiez  when soninlaw is long gone and forgotten  the blockbuster summer films will still be playing and you will have a chance to see them then  this film could also make great video fare for those that are leery of spending seven dollars on it  nothing will be lost by watching it on a television screen  although the basic story line has been done many  many times before  the film is still fun to watch  the laughs are plentiful  especially when the wiez is around  the way some of the jokes are done are new  even though some of the jokes are old  there are also several new jokes that  at least  i havent seen before  still  when presented right  even old material can be funny still  this film is just basically a light comedy that is great to see if you are in the right mood that doesnt contain much violence or any nudity that is definitely worth full ticket price  the cast for this film does an excellent job  pauly shore  encino man  is the star attraction of this film  he is great  and knows how to entertain the audience  pauly shore just seems to take over the entire screen when he is on with expressions and comments that are hilarious  this film would definitely not have been as good with anyone else in this role  carla gugino does a very good job as the farm girl gone city girl  she makes her character believable  on some levels  yet interesting at the same time  the person who played the grandfather  mason adams  i believe  also does a great job  the way he delivered his lines kept me laughing throughout the time that he was on the screen  patrick renna  who played guginos little brother  was a little annoying  but no where as near as macaulay culkin  and for only part of the time  so i can forgive him  tiffaniamber thiessen  a killer among friends   saved by the bell   does a reasonably good job for the time that she is on screen  she shows that she may have a potential in movies if she can get out of the corny young adults programming on television  she wasnt given overly much to do in the film  but what she had  she does a good job with  
pos	the soldiers of three kings have taken their cue from movies about vietnam   fitting  since the mediasaturated gulf war became a pop entertainment   while driving through a long  flat iraqi desert  in a humvee with a bart simpson hood ornament   one of the men under special forces sgt  maj  archie gates  whos steering  command requests a beach boys tune  these men want their apocalypse now moment  only instead of surfing  they bop to the music and skeet shoot out the back of the vehicle  armed with automatic rifles  our three kings  okay  four  are good fighters  but they dont necessarily take operation desert storm seriouslyits a reprieve from their hellish day jobs  they are gates  new father sgt  troy barlow  wahlberg   sgt  chief elgin  cube   and pvt  conrad vig  music video director jonze   at storys start  president bush has declared a ceasefire  and american troops are tying up loose ends  barlow  elgin  and vig discover during a round up of iraqi captives an  assmap  that points to a bunker filled with gold bullion  gates leaves his jurisdiction to commandeer the situation  he proposesdemandsthat barlow  elgin  and vig join him on a treasure hunt  ditching his escort  a relentless reporter named adriana cruz  nora dunn   is easy  so is finding the treasure  until the four men realize the magnitude of discord still breathing in iraq  saddams men are threatening the dictators detractors  citizens of his own country  with violence  when gates and company arrive at the bunker with a stolen truck  ready to loot  the unarmed rebels want help   bush encouraged them to rise up against the government  but provided no military support for such cause   gates convinces the vaults guards that this is a postwar mission  and even accepts their assistance in loading the truck  the situation could go off without a hitch  the former enemies bear no grudges  but the money hungry gates has a conscience  and when one female bystander is shot by a sadistic grunt before these americans have left the scene  he orders barlow  elgin and vig to open fire on the surrounding arab forces  the result  barlow is kidnapped  and the filmmakers imply that these wouldbe kings are seeing more action than they ever did during wartime  barlow is eventually locked in a dank room and wired up to a shocking device  his interrogator lost his family to the bombs  and he wants barlow to imagine the demise of his own wife and child   he does  in chilling  lasting images   i liked these scenes best  because the political became personal  its one thing to champion the plight of thousands  its another to see a ceiling cave in atop a baby in a crib  russell has shocked us before  his first film  spanking the monkey  is about a young mans affair with his bedridden mother   its great   his second  flirting with disaster  features a character who has an armpit fetish  one could argue that its easier to make an audience react to such sexual deviance than explosions  though  russell disturbs us in three kings by being nononsense about the violence  when barlow conjures the detonation of his suburban home  russell mutes the soundwere paying attention to the debris instead of thx bombast  three kings is russells first visually arresting picture  stylistically  it stands apart from other war dramas  newton thomas sigels cinematography of the exteriors is overexposed and extremely grainy  which is  of course  entirely appropriate  one practically breaks out in sweat staring at the screen   a friend enthusiastically added   its like having sand in your eyes    this also helps to blur the fact that the actual locations are far removed from the persian gulf facade   three kings was shot in arizona  california  and mexico   russell throws plenty at sigels camera for it to observeas was the case with russells previous efforts  the most absurd moments are also the films most realistic  even the most poignant   we watch a bullet puncture an organ from the inside   if anything  three kings settles down and stops surprising us  its climax is pure hollywood  no doubt the answer to why a major studio felt comfortable getting into bed with the indieminded russell  subsequently  the characters become more cartoonishbarlows posttorture revelry felt phony  and chief  a strong presence in the first third  fails to escape the godfearingultraseriousantiracistblackmanofpower clich  so much for cube avoiding token status   the arab players  on the other hand  duck stereotype   clooney  too  transforms into a blandly heroic protestormarching with the rebels  i waited for him to shout   let my people go   hayseed vig notwithstanding  the protagonists are very intelligent  and selfserving  too  i had a glimmer of hope  based on russells filmography  that our antiheroes would revert to their greedy selves at some juncture   its not spoiling much to write that   then again  what historical importance would such nastiness serve   theres already enough cynicism in the films mentioning of kuwaits oilinfested waters   russell offers the masses a primer on the oftdismissed gulf conflict  and pulled off a neat trick  a war tale full of battles that takes place after a truce has been declared  if he set out to make something sociallyculturallypoliticallyglobally significant  he succeeded  with flair  
pos	bill condons  gods and monsters  is a fascinating look into the last days in the life of gay director james whale  ian mckellan   who made the horror classics  frankenstein  and  bride of frankenstein   since i was unfamiliar of whale prior to viewing the film  there is no way to know how accurate the film is  but i suspect that much of it only came from whales inner fantasies and hallucinations  whale  who fought in wwi and then went on to become known for his work on horror pictures  decided fifteen years before his death at age 67 to quit filmmaking once a homosexual scandal broke out involving him  as the film tells it  during the end of his life  whale  at his large home in l  a   became infatuated with the tall  handsome  and much younger man  clayton boone  brendan fraser   who was working as the gardener at his home  james whale  we learn quickly was  what many people refer to him as in the film   a dirty old man   in one of the opening scenes  a young film enthusiast visits whales home to interview him and whale agrees  on one condition  for every question he answers  the young man must take off an article of clothing  because of this episode  we know exactly what it is whale wants when he asks clayton to pose for him for a painting  later making the excuse that his bright  white shirt is disracting only so he will take it off  clayon agrees  and doesnt really think much of this  much to the warnings of his friends  becoming more and more intrigued in the stories whale tells him about his past  certainly  the relationship between whale and boone is headed for a downfall  since whale starts to grow a deep love for this young man  even though boone is not gay  and whale himself realizes he is nearing the conclusion to his life  as he begins to seldom suffer mild strokes and moments of true catharsis   gods and monsters  is an intimate and seemingly respectful portrait of a director who was forced to become somewhat of an outcast  due to his sexual preference  and never got the recognition he would have liked  since he longed to be referred to as a  motion picture director   rather than a  horror director   and in one heartbreaking scene  he attends a party with boone being his guest  held by director george cuckor  and finds that many of the other attendees do not recognize him anymore  it is evident that whales first love in his life was making movies  and when his career ultimately fell apart  so did his passion in life  as played brilliantly by ian mckellen  james whale comes off as a sad  but dignified man  and a person who was not afraid to stand out from others  just as long as he knew he was being true to himself  he never hid the fact that he was gay  however  even if it meant threatening his filmmaking profession  and it was this unblinking honesty that made him a great person  through the complicated relationship that develops between whale and boone  boone  of course  only things of whale as a possible friend or someone he can talk to  while it means so much more to whale  who sees boone as sort of his salvation in life  although boone is only in a deadend job as a gardener of peoples homes  whale views him as the ideal man  not only one that is goodlooking  even though it is this attraction that first begins his feelings  but one that will actually listen to him  since whale lives with only his loyal  but disapproving maid  touchingly portrayed by lynn redgrave   it is boone that whale can talk to in his ultimate reclusion from the world  and the only reason whale finally decides to attend the gathering of george cuckor  although an extremely fine and mature picture  a few small elements hold the film back from ultimate greatness  it is appreciated that the film does not pull for any obvious or overly dramatic story developments  but it is a little thin  and the structuring of the  onagainoffagain  friendship at the films center is fairly predictable  we know early on where these two characters are headed  and we can guess that there will be a final confrontation between the two as the tension slowly builds  in lesser hands  this setup might have felt too calculated  but it is not in the surprisingly deft treatment and writing that helps the film to be much more than this  also  a subplot is briefly brought up between clayton and a waitress working at a bar  effectively played by lolita davidovich   but abruptly dropped and never brought up again  if the film was not going to follow up on this side story  then it  perhaps  should have been taken out altogether   gods and monsters  is a heartfelt and intelligent motion picture  impressively directed by bill condon  who  i sense  relates to or fully understands the meaning behind the curious relationship between whale and boone  the film also plays as a tribute to a fine man who met an untimely end  walking away from  gods and monsters   it was ian mckellens marvelous and astounding performance that left the most impression on me  and i doubt there could have been anyone who could have stepped into the role more fully and believably  it is a sad testament when a persons true talent and love is unfairly taken away from them  based on the scrutinization and judgement of their personal life  which  ironically enough  is no one elses business in the first place  
pos	i must admit that i was a tad skeptical of  good will hunting   based both on the previews and the first fifteen minutes of the film  in which the main character will hunting  matt damon   an mit janitor in his early twenties  is discovered to be an einsteinlevel closet genius when he solves two extraordinarily difficult math problems overnight  the only problem is that will is a tough street kid whos had his share of runins with the law  and before long hes being hauled in for assault after a parking lot fight  professor lambeau  stellan skarsgard   who had brought up the math problems in his lectures  tracks him down and strikes a deal with the police  will is to be released  provided he works with lambeau on his math research regularly and attends therapy sessions  this sounds like the formula for mildly charming fluff  but  good will hunting  rises above its fairly mundane premise to deliver a poignant and clever drama  a conflict gradually emerges between lambeau and wills therapist sean mcguire  robin williams   lambeau wants to get will to use his brain  while sean wants him to listen to his heart  both of which he has been largely neglecting  will finds that the former is much easier than the latter  so much so  in fact  that he gets bored with it and grows increasingly resistant to lambeaus attempts to recruit him into the academic lifestyle  he also has his share of problems with his girlfriend skylar  minnie driver   an mit student who is moving to california at the end of the school year and would like a reluctant will to come with her  what makes  good will hunting  work so well  aside from the strong performances  especially from damon and williams   is the depth of characterization and the representation of the conflicts in wills life  the scripts sympathies seem to lie more with sean mcguire than with lambeau  but neither of them is presented as completely right or wrong  lambeau  while he may seem a little cold at times  is still written well enough that we like him as a character even when were not sure if we like what he has to say  and sean  for all his warmheartedness  has  as lambeau and later will point out  not lived up to his full intellectual potential either  the therapy sessions turn out to be just as revelatory for sean as they do for will  wills reaction to this situation  and the way in which he slowly becomes more receptive to skylar and to sean  is presented in a believable fashion and in a way that forces the audience to consider all the characters opinions  rather than setting up an obvious  right  and  wrong  side and beating them over the head with it  for a film with such an extraordinary character   good will hunting  presents itself as remarkably ordinary  it achieves the difficult task of making the next albert einstein into an everyman  a character to whom the audience can easily relate and who must make choices similar to those that almost everyone faces at one time or another  this film gives us real drama when it so easily could have given us merely melodrama  by having the government kidnap will to use him in covert spy missions or introducing some other equally farfetched situation   good will hunting  also has its share of fun humor  such as when will  in an early therapy session  pretends to be hypnotized and smoothly parodies the alien abduction scenarios that have become so well known in popular culture  and in the one scene in which government agents do in fact appear  will blows them off with a hilariously scathing accusation of human rights violations in africa  wills relationship with his friends  most notably chucky  ben affleck   is usually rather amusing  if somewhat crude  the film has 100 uses of the f word  which was most likely the reason for its rrating   and lends itself well to the development of wills character  add all this to the fact that  good will hunting  even manages to pull off an uplifting happy ending without getting excessively sentimental  and you might be wondering why i havent given this film four stars  well  for one thing  no matter how well damon and affleck  who wrote the screenplay  and director gus van sant pull it off  the story is still rather contrived and not particularly original  there are also a few scenes that did feel a bit formulaic  including one that was supposed to be emotional but really just seemed like the obligatory crying scene for any movie involving therapy sessions  still   good will hunting  takes its premise a lot farther than i thought it would  and is definitely one of the better personal dramas i have seen in the last few years  and as of right now it stands as one of the top five on my list of 97 films  
pos	a cinematic version of one of john irvings novels is always cause for celebration even if  as in the case of  simon birch   the treatment is merely  suggested by   rather than strictly based on  the book  suggested means that irving  author of the acclaimed  the world according to garp   sold the rights to his novel  a prayer for owen meany  to the disney machine for 1 million  but wouldnt grant them permission to use either the title or any of the character names  thats an odd decisionirving claims its to protect both himself and the novelbut its one that doesnt unduly harm the finished product  irvings books are rich and complex works  full of intriguing  colorful characters   a prayer for owen meany  is no exception  it tells the story of an unusual boycalled simon birch in the film versionwho is uncommonly small in stature and possesses a highpitched falsetto voice   like strangled mice   simon believes himself to be  gods instrument   placed on this earth to somehow effect gods plan  simon is played by ian michael smith  who suffers from a rare enzyme disorder known as morquio syndrome which  among other things  prevents bones  ligaments  and joints from developing normally  smiths debilitating disease makes him an obvious physical choice for  simon birch   however  the producers unwisely favored form over functionsmiths acting abilities are limited at best  another drawback is that in the book  simons condition is described the way irving describes any of his charactersin careful  loving detail  watching  simon birch   however  creates a different feeling altogether  the audience is forced into a voyeuristic relationship with the character  surely something irving would not have intended  simon himself tends to be too cute and irritating  a combination of smiths rookie status as an actor and the precocious oneliners hes forced to deliver  courtesy mark steven johnson  the films director and screenwriter  fortunately  simon birch isnt the real star of the film that bears his name  simon is more of a catalyst  allowing his costars to shape the story  and the actors who fill those roles to turn in outstanding supporting performances  saving the film from an obsequious  manipulative destiny  first and foremost is joseph mazzello   jurassic park    who is nothing less than remarkable as simons best friend  joe  mazzello turns in a wonderfully layered performance for a 14 year old  ripe with laughter  pain  and tears  he is certainly an emerging talent  ashley judd positively beams in her role as rebecca  joes single mother  and oliver platt is warm and tender as her boyfriend  ben  david strathairn and jan hooks play the towns reverend and sunday school teacher respectively and their contributions uphold the high standards set by the others  theres even a surprising yet effective uncredited cameo performance from    well  that would be telling  perhaps  suggested by  the novel is the appropriate way to go after all  since  simon birch  only focuses on one chapter  one year  of simons extraordinary life  the film also changes the books ending to one that is more melodramatic  yet necessary given simons lot  the flavor of irvings original novel remains  howeverthe passions  friendships  and insecurities that come with a change of seasons to the little community of gravestown  maine  and the engaging oddballs  both big and small  who reside there  
pos	the only historical figure that has been written about more than william shakespeare is jesus christ  which explains why the bards materials are such a popular source for remakes  revisions  rewrites  inspiration  subtlety  credit  and dispute  indeed  in recent years  american contemporary cinema has been swamped with a wash of shakespearean products  including this years upcoming a midsummer nights dream  shakespeares material has been the cause for twentysix big screen productions since 1990  but for a change of pace  mrs  brown director john madden gives us a story of the bard himself in the wonderfully vibrant shakespeare in love  marc norman and tom stoppards story is largely fantasy  although as the viewer soon learns  shakespeare in love is not a movie that takes itself seriously   will shakespeare of the 1590s wouldve been married to anne hathaway  and he wouldve had a teenage daughter and two young sons  here he is a bachelor played by joseph fiennes   will is a writer struggling to come up with a great play  and his current comedy in the works   romeo and ethel  the pirates daughter   just doesnt quite seem right  with the help of the great writer christopher marlowe  rupert everett   and the inspiration of true love with noblewoman viola de lesseps  gwyneth paltrow   he changes things around and writes one of his greatest tragedies   romeo and juliet   the love story between will and viola loosely parallels the story of romeo and juliet  to great effect  fiennes and paltrow develop a sexy chemistry as the two lovers which gives the movie much momentum  this momentum smoothes out the bumps in the unfinished and largely unsuccessful comedy  the supporting roles are well filled out  from geoffrey rush as wills worrisome agent  philip  to tom wilkinson as the producer hugh fennyman  even ben affleck  leading the troupe of actors  manages to make a favorable impression  and judi dench lends some brief moments of screen time as queen elizabeth i  gwyneth paltrow is by far  however  the standout of the lot  creating a large percentage of the forementioned vibrance  the story is wellcrafted if nothing else  although it has dangerous moments where it flirts with the  lets make a movie  genre  the dialogue is breezy and lighthearted  and certainly accessible by the audiences lowest common denominator  theres something for everyone in this romantic comedy  making it prime date flick material  although certainly not inspiring in any regard  it revels in a wholesome  wellrounded atmosphere that has been absent in many of 1998s pictures  the truelove story is one of the best around  certainly recommendable when the traditional slew of indifferent yearsopen releases is just around the corner  
pos	in 1912  a ship set sail on her maiden voyage across the atlantic for america  this ship was built to be the largest ship in the world  and she was  she was also build to be one of the most luxurious  and that she was  finally  she was built to be unsinkable and that unfortunately she was not  to get a ticket for this voyage you either  spent a lifes savings to get to america to start life anew  were part of the upper class and had the money to spare  or finally were lucky enough to have a full house in a poker match by the docks like jack dawson  jack dawson makes the trip  and happens to be at the right place at the right time  rose dewitt bukater  a first class passenger  climbs the railings at the aft of the ship with thoughts of jumping  thus is started a tale of romance and intrigue  and a tale of death and tragedy    this movie is about a tragic event that took place a great many years ago  an even that should not be taken lightly as any other bit of historical trivia  the movie titanic shows what happened  maybe not with a 100 degree of accuracy  but it still shows it very realisticaly  now the titanic is both a story on its own and a backdrop for a story  it serves as both admirably  brining forth an interesting story that although simple in its most simple premise is very captivating  this movie is very emotional simply because of what it is  but that alone is not enough  the story is brought out with a certain style that makes is so much more emotional and so much more effective  movies such as this will not be forgotten all too quickly and unfortunately then are not something that is produced by hollywood with any great frequency  the attention to detail that was paid is remarkable  the whole premise for the telling of the story is interesting  with the showing of brand new footage from the wreck of the titanic adding much flavor to an already good movie  part of the magical chemistry behind this story is the acting  and for this movie its extremely good acting from the whole cast  the performances put in by the main stars is something to be admired  the characters were played out so memorably that both leonardo dicaprip and kate winslet should receive at the least nominations for their roles  looking at the acting done in the movie it seems as if they arent acting but are actually the characters in the movie  the casting for the movie could really have been better  in my humble opinion that is  one character that will most likely not be mentioned by any other review or commentary about this film is that of the ship itself  yes  you read correctly  the ship is a character  how is the titanic a character  you ask well simple  a ship had a certain character about it and as most sailors and boats men will tell you  this character is everything about the ship from its specifications to its luxuries and the titanic was no stranger to this  mr  cameron brings the ship to life in an almost literal sense  all this adds to the movie in a certain way that most hollywood productions cant seem to grasp  now  to produce the effect that i mentioned above and to sink the ship itself are feats that are accomplished by special effects wizards  the effects in this movie range from marvelous costumes to beautifully rendered scenes of the ships sinking  in some respects you cannot tell that the effects are there  you simply think that what you see is what happened or what is happening  if your imagination is good   the technical wizardry done in this movie is just spectacular and actually getting new footage from the wreck of the titanic is unique  the movie will leave you amazed at the effects  and that is a feat since there is no monsters or aliens in this movie  just humans and an oversized ship  the movie will amaze you and it will pull on your emotions  the theater that i went to had a few people leaving with tears in their eyes  now that is not a feat accomplished by most movies  now the fact that the tragedy actually occurred is brought home with something of a punch  i wont spoil the ending and say what happens regardless it is an interesting movie from beginning to the very end  the historical value of this movie is quite high  and honestly is something that should be watched for the sake of seeing it and seeing the tragedy  for it is extremely well done  the method of telling the story is also good  maybe not totally unique but effective none the less  regardless of anything mentioned above this movie is a grandiose production and the sheer size of the project undertaken is something to be marveled at  the simple fact that the movie is smashingly successful at what it aims to achieve is just astonishing  if you get the chance to see this movie go    it might not be the best movie in the world   but it ranks fairly highly and is well worth the time spent watching it  during none of the 3 hours and 13 minutes of the movie are you bored nor does your attention wane from the movie  
pos	the start of this movie reminded me of parts from the movie stargate  people are looking around in an egyptian temple reading about some dangerous thing that is going to destroy earth in the future  after a sort of confusing bit involving fakelooking cyborg things  the movie jumps into the future and the movie improves by leaps and bounds  the basic idea behind the movie is that every once in a while  make that every 1000 years or so  an evil force comes to destroy earth  the things needed to defend against this menace are the four elements of nature plus the fifth element  the plot in this movie really isnt that important to the thing though  this movie has very good special effects  for the most part  the technoish music in the background fits the mood very well  bruce willis is an illegal taxicab driver in a futuristic new york city  one day a lady draped with a few bandages drops down into his trunk  this movie is about what happens  the plot twists are interesting and the movie never fails to present the viewer with a variety of different locations  also there is a fair bit of action in the film  particularly towards the end  some characters are just plain strange including a highlyenergetic deejay in drag  bruce willis does his normal job of blowing things away like he always does  the movie is definitely watchable and rarely slows down  it is one of those scifi films where youll be saying  cool  followed by a  what the hell       i give the fifth element  
pos	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  james tobacks return to directing after a eightyear layoff  two girls and a guy  is a film which is comprised  more or less  of just that  one guy  blake  robert downey jr    two girls  carla  heather graham  and lou  natasha gregson wagner   one primary setting  blakes absurdly spacious bachelor apartment   and a great deal of dialogue  embracing a near realtime approach  this is a highly theatrical feature that completely hangs upon the performances of its three actors and the quality of the dialogue written by mr  toback for his bantering characters  fortunately  the films cast is up to the challenge  and the wordy exchanges between the triad of characters  while admittedly variable  are occasionally wickedly amusing  the films setup is fairly generic in nature  and opens rather unpromisingly  we meet selfpossessed blonde carla and feisty brunette lou  both waiting outside a soho loft  as they engage in idle chatter  it is revealed that theyre both waiting for their respective boyfriends to return from the airport  and it doesnt take long for them to come to the realisation that theyre being twotimed by the same guy  more indignant with him than catty with each other  the duo break into blakes loft and await his arrival for a confrontation  its when blake returns to his abode where the film hits its stride  played with magnificent bombast by mr  downey jr   blake is a cad  all right  but a captivatingly dynamic  blusterous  and stealthy piece of work that bursts onto the scene and raises the stakes to new heights  its fascinating to watch this character in his natural habitat  and perhaps the films best choice was to have his two girlfriends scamper off into hiding upon his return  allowing us to size up blake not with his interactions with others  but by his own innate behaviour  whether hes flamboyantly behind his piano in a rollicking rendition of vivaldi  or on the phone leaving messages to his beloveds  carla  lou  and his unseen sickly mother   its never less than wildly entertaining and insightful  though at this point i almost hoped the film would transform into a oneman show  a typical afternoon in the life of blake  if you will  carla  and then lou  reveal themselves  and the sparks begin to fly   one of the great touches in the film is how blake  when startled by carlas unannounced appearance  begins to both verbally and physically backpedal even before he realizes that the cats out of the bag   doubleteamed by the understandably aggrieved women  who are more smirkingly inquisitive than ferociously vengeful  they want a justification for his ongoing hypocrisy   an increasinglyflustered blake weakly defends himself with apologetic and even selfrighteous declarations against their verbal jabs  surprisingly delightful in the waltz of scathing witty banter shared by its trio of characters  two girls and a guy concludes its first sequence with an unexpected apoplectic act of such outrageous audacity that it seemed nothing was offlimits for this film  however  itd be unfeasible to attempt to string along carla and lous outrage to full featurelength  and its as the movie gradually transforms into the sharing of exploratory profundities on the nature of fidelity and relationships that it slowly but surely begins to unravel  the dialogue becomes less and less engaging and clever  the films tempo loses its liveliness  the dynamic between the characters evolves in unconvincing fashion  and several sequences fall flat  subtle and notquitesubtle allusions are made  a poster of jules et jim hangs prominently on the wall   and secrets are revealed which barrel the film toward an uncompelling weepy finale  one key turning point in the film is the kinky sex scene between blake and carla  two girls and a guy was embroiled in a bitter  longrunning dispute with the mpaa with regards to this scene  contractuallyobligated to deliver an rrated film  mr  toback was forced to resubmit fourteen scaleddown versions of the steamy interlude before the mpaa withdrew their nc17 rating in favour of an r  and while admittedly titillating  the net effect of the vignette on the films thematic narrative is rather dubious  if anything  two girls and a guy serves as a showcase for the phenomenal talents of mr  downey jr   whose versatility is put to the test in this film  he plays the gamut from indignant to humbled  from selfassured to disconcerted  yet his acting gears shift so smoothly as to not be registered  its a wonderful performance in a role customtailored for him  mr  toback wrote the screenplay in four days shortly after mr  downey jr  was arrested on drug charges  and its hard not to see echoes of reality seeping into his character  in a monologue to his mirrored reflection  blakes selfchiding to  get his shit together  is disquieting in its resonance  while mr  downey jr  s showstopping performance is undoubtedly the primary strength of the film  both actresses are solid in more broadlyobserved roles  ms  graham is quickly becoming one of americas more daring actresses  involving herself in three successive risky projects  two girls and a guy and boogie nights are both quite sexually frank  while lost in space has a screenplay penned by akiva goldsman  shes quite appealing here  playing a character at once both dainty and sultry  meanwhile  ms  gregson wagner initially portrays lou with such an unwarranted spunk that audiences are likely to find it either annoying  or  like me  endearing  she tones it down substantially as the film progresses  but i found her more fun to watch as the artificially excitable chatterbox  the film was reportedly shot in eleven days  filmed mostly in sequence  and the resultant artifacts of this rapid shoot are evident throughout  two girls and a guy has an agile  spontaneous sort of feel  and one senses that mr  toback encouraged a good deal of improvisation from his three actors  while the film could be transposed directly to the stage more or less intact  it doesnt feel constricted  the expansive apartment setting is wellused to vary the background  and mr  toback allows his camera to wander and linger on his characters in an effective manner  two girls and a guy falls short of its potential  but thanks to some stellar work by mr  downey jr   its still often an enjoyable  bitingly funny romp  particularly as we watch the surprisinglyresilient blake evasively try to rationalize his behaviour and even turn the tables on his girlfriends   im an actor   he tells them at one point  using the ol triedandtested occupationalhazard defense   actors lie   but not  they all seem to agree  denzel washington  
pos	robert altmans cookies fortune is that rare movie that does not depend on sentimentality to be uplifting and to make its viewers feel good  it is a sunny  delightful  dreamy comedy  filled with lovely performances  skillful direction and topped off with an understated  clever  extraordinary script  as this is an ensemble piece  it is forced to start of slowly as it introduces us to its characters  all of them residing in a southern town called holly springs  first we meet willie  charles s  dutton   an honest man with a slight drinking habit  we then see that willie takes care of an elderly lady nicknamed cookie  who is slowly losing her grip on sanity and is being filled with loneliness  despair  and want of her dead husband  we cut to camille  glenn close  who is obsessively directing a play with her sister cora  julianne moore   then we briefly get acquainted with emma  liv tyler   an apparent relative of cookie  who is a downbutnotout teen outcast  still full of love and hope even though she has no real place to live  we also fleetingly see emmas lover jason  chris odonnell   an ambitious but far too excitable young cop  we are now about one quarter through the two hour picture  and robert altman decides that it is time to set the plot in motion  we see the ecstatic cookie stare hopefully at a picture of her husband  she exclaims  here i come   and then puts a pillow to her face and shoots herself  soon after  her niece camille stops by to get a fruit salad bowl  comes upstairs  finds cookie dead and flips out  convinced that suicide is a disgrace and that she will have none of that in her family  she eats the suicide note and convinces her slightly slow  yet sweet  sister that it was a murder  she makes sure that she stages it like a murder as well  scattering jewelry all over the floor  breaking a few cabinets  windows and doors  and then throwing the gun out in the back yard  the only reasonable suspect is willie  who immediately gets taken into custody  and put in a jail cell  they all know he didnt do it  so the cell stays open and he plays scrabble with the sheriff and the faithful emma   meanwhile  the unperturbed camille continues her nonetoosubtle manipulations trying to further cover up for the murder while at the same time making her easter play a success  so begins cookies fortune  a film aptly described by critic scott renshaw as  a southern spin on fargo   except that this one is far funnier and much more enjoyable than the coen brothers darker  somewhat disturbing and slightly overrated escapade  robert altmans slight picture is in some ways reminiscent of something like midnight in the garden of good and evil as well  in that both films focus  on and off  on the eccentricities of the residents in a southern us town  indeed  most of the characters in cookies fortune are loads of fun to observe  and a portion of them are fascinating and surprisingly multi dimensional  glenn close turns in an insubstantial  in terms of her career  but magnificent performance as the conniving camille and is also the source of a good portion of the many laughs that we enjoy in this movie  and she is perfectly cast as the prolific  aunt alexandria  character  endlessly obsessed with family dignity  the equally essential role of willie is handled with an intangible grace by veteran thespian charles s  dutton  mimic  a time to kill  there is nothing like a movie which leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside hours  even days after the film ends  cookies fortune is such a movie  i loved the light  kindhearted approach altman  whose last project was the dark  intense drama the gingerbread man  took towards the tricky subject matter  i enjoyed the talented ensemble cast  i even liked the trite  in the south everybody is related to everybody  cliche that is inevitably employed by the time this movie draws to a close  im not sure why cookies fortune had such an allaround pleasing effect on me  perhaps its that good ol southern charm  
pos	well ill be damned    the canadians can make a good movie  the world is coming to an end  we dont know why or how  but apparently there is no way to stop it  the world has had this information for months  as most of the rioting and other assorted chaos has passed and governments have shut down operations  yet for a handful of toronto citizens  life goes on  they arent going crazy or attacking people in the streets  instead they are simply preparing themselves for the end    some engaging in activities theyve always wanted to do  some gathering with family and friends  and others just seeking to be alone  these peoples lives however all intersect during their final six hours  writerdirectorstar don mckellar has crafted a highly unique and emotional film  all of the main characters are compelling as they try and do whatever it is they need to do on their last night on earth  craig  callum keith rennie  tries to fulfill all his sexual fantasies  a gas company employee  david cronenberg  calls every customer letting them know the gas will be flowing until the very end and thanks them for their business  and patrick  mckellar  just wants to be by himself but isnt having much success  even minor characters keep popping up where you least expect them to  tying everyone even closer  things seemed a little hokey towards the beginning of the film  but ultimately everything comes together nicely  although its not a happy film    some moments are understandably gutwrenching   the story is enhanced by some unexpected humor and very realistic performances  particularly from sandra oh  whose character is just trying to get home to her husband before the end  i have absolutely no problem that the reason for the end of the world is never given  nor does it bother me that the world is ending at exactly 12 midnight  in toronto anyway   but i do wonder why the sun never sets  come midnight  the sun is still shining brightly  maybe the sun is crashing into the earth    who knows  also  its comforting to know that in mankinds final moments on the planet  people will still gang up on the street for the sheer purpose of pushing over a car or a bus  thats not a shot at this film mind you    i know people are just stupid and truly would be out in the street tipping over cars   last night is available on dvd from universal home video  it contains the film in fullscreen format and includes the original theatrical trailer  r 
pos	hedwig  john cameron mitchell  was born a boy named hansel in east berlin  as a teen seeking his  other half   he reluctantly agrees to a sex change operation in order to marry american g  i  luther  maurice dean wint   the operation  performed by a hack surgeon  is botched  and the  angry inch  is all thats left  now a  she   hedwig comes to america  is abandoned by luther  forms a rock band and falls for her 17year old loverprot  g   tommy  only to be rejected by him later  too  she and her band  the angry inch  shadows the nowfamous tommy gnosis across the us  for revenge    but hedwig is really in search of her lost other half in  hedwig and the angry inch   first time helmer john cameron mitchell  along with composerlyricist stephen trask  created and starred in their acclaimed offbroadway production that has become the movie  and quite a movie it is in its eclectic variety of songs  outrageous costumes  sets and makeup and  especially  a riveting performance by mitchell as the title character  mitchell and trask have reinvented the movie musical and couple it with the underlying story of just whom hedwig is and what she is looking for  i am  by far  not a big fan of musicals  sure  there are exceptions  like bob fosses  all that jazz  and  cabaret   but  for the most part  they are just not my cup of tea   hedwig and the angry inch  is an exception  though  with its combination of humor  wit and a collection of tunes that covers musical styles ranging from  the rocky horror picture show  and meatloaf to david bowie to the sex pistols  the original songs  by stephen trask  also appearing as one of the members of the band the angry inch   are full of energy and variety and  even though its not my kind of music  i found every one entertaining and fun  the audience i saw  hedwig  with thought so  too  the main attraction to this onemanwoman show is the presence of its star  john cameron mitchell gives a solid  sometimes fun  sometimes angry performance as a person searching for selfenlightenment and love  as a young boy growing up in east berlin  hansel is abused by his g  i  father and raised by his german mother in a tiny flat so small that  mother would make me play in the oven  where he listened to pop music on armed forces radio  later  as a young man  he meets luther  another g  i  and is swept off of his feet  the ensuing angry inch incident comes soon after  flash forward to a trailer park in junction city  kansas  and luther is leaving hedwig for another boy  frustrated and broke  she takes on babysitting and the odd  job  to make ends meet  she also forms a band with four korean housewives and the musical talent of hedwig is born  she meets  falls for and loses young tommy  who steals her songs and goes off to become a rock sensation  jealous and angry  hedwig and her new band begins a campaign to shadow tommys tours and  with the help of her manager  phyllis stein  andrea martin   is trying get a law suit going against the star for stealing her songs  hedwig and the angry inch get gigs  not coincidentally  at a chain of seafood restaurants that just happen to be next to the forums where tommy gnosis is playing  things finally come to a head  so to speak  in new york city  the popularity of the offbroadway musical and its offshoots have garnered a readymade audience base for  hedwig   the wit  humor  music and search for identity has great appeal to young adults  but the charismatic presence of mitchell makes this a cut above what it could have been  it is this onemanwoman show that casts its spotlight on its  internationally ignored  rock star and mitchell is outstanding in the role  there isnt a lot going on with other characters  though there are amusing little sidebars  like hedwigs backup singerlover  yitzak  miriam shor   deciding to break away from the band to join a polynesian road show of  rent  as a puerto rican drag queen  the low budget that the moviemakers have for the production belies the quality of the film  attention to details  hedwigs costumes and outrageous  cabaret  like makeup  the seedy trailer park setting  and  the kitschy seafood restaurants  are loads of fun to watch and lend the appropriate air to the proceeds  all on what has to be a beer budget   hedwig and the angry inch  may not be for everybody  but the energy of the effort  the songs  the imaginative sets and costumes and a fast steady pace make it a pleasure to watch  if youre a fan of contemporary  edgy music  it is an even bigger draw  i give it a b  
pos	niagara niagara  r  bob gosses niagara niagara follows a blueprint not unlike a lot of youngloversontheroad movies  wild marcy  robin tunney  and calm seth  henry thomas  meet cute  literally running into each other while shoplifting at a local store  a mere couple of scenes later  the two embark on a journey to toronto from their small  unnamed american town in pursuit of a rare doll that marcy desperately wants  along the way  true love inevitably blossoms  what sets niagara niagara apart  though  is that marcy is afflicted with tourettes syndrome  a neurological disorder that causes sudden muscle and vocal tics  tunney  displaying an acting range not hinted at in the teenage witch thriller the craft  delivers an astonishing performance that won her the best actress prize at last years venice film festival  to term her work a tourdeforce is not to imply that she attacks the scenery  tunneys effectiveness lies in her modulation and vulnerability  which makes her depiction of marcys illnesswhich often causes her to act violentlythat much more convincing and tragic  she and the nicely subtle thomas develop a sweetly innocent and beguilingly offkilter chemistry  their journey hits a few rough spots creatively along the way  mostly the fault of writer matthew weiss  a detour involving a kindly widower  michael parks  who takes the couple in brings the story to a screeching halt  and the key character of a triggerhappy pharmacist  stephen lang  is highly unbelievable  but these missteps do not blunt the power of tunneys bravura turn  which carries niagara niagara to a level of poignance it would not have otherwise achieved   opens march 20   i didnt know what to expect  its like something you chase for so long  but then you dont know how to react when you get it  i still dont know how to react   michael jordan  on winning his first nba championship in 1991    or  my thoughts after meeting him on november 21  1997 
pos	notice  this is a review and analysis of exotica  the first part of this piece is the review  the second part contains some analysis of the movie which might be construed as spoilers  if you have not seen the movie and after reading the first part you intend to do so  then save the second part for the discussion afterwards  starring  bruce greenwood  mia kirshner  elias kosteas  don mckellar  arsinee khanijian  sarah polley director  atom egoyan screenplay  atom egoyan exotica is a film that grows on retrospection  exotica keeps the viewer guessing about the relationship between the various characters in the film  all of the people know each other  but apart from that  there seems to be no other reason why to select such set and follow them in this fictional account  the director hints for possible solutions  using a multiline plot  so popular with critics in mystery train  and used to good advantage by quentin tarantino in pulp fiction  exotica reaches a whole new dimension using this technique  at the end it is surprising to see how well the pieces of the puzzle fit together  in spite their apparent unconnectedness and even misleading features  the outofchronologicalorder technique has become ever so popular  perhaps even de rigueur  for biographical films  similarly  we can now expect to see more movies in the future which will use  to varying extent  converging multiplots  on a first glance  once the multiplot puzzle in exotica is solved  there seems to be little left to look at  but perceptive minds which take the time to dig further will be rewarded with interesting views on life or rather  commentaries on views of life  exotica is very much worth seeing  it opened to critics praise worldwide  i first saw it in mexico city  last december   in canada  it broke records for a movie of its kind  which prompted the american distributor to go for a wide release  apart from a strong plot  acting is very convincing  and the soundtrack seems as if made for the movie  the spoonfedentertainment crowd may not appreciate this movie  and thus it might last little on screen  but if you want to try a movie a cut above the crowd  with an originality that is ever so rare  by all means see exotica  analysis    spoilers   ahead  what is behind the complex plot in exotica  first  a common theme of the quest for gratification by monetary means  the lone taxauditor  the repressed homosexual pet shop owner  the pregnant woman which runs the nightclub  the rich man which has the club remodeled  the audience at the movie theatre  all use personal wealth to buy palliative relief for the penuries of the soul     then we have the quest for gratification through visual means by most of the same people  including those who sit watching exotica     in that regard exotica stands for onlookers at a nightclub  for the rich man looking through silver mirrors  and poorrich people looking at others people lives through a silver screen  exotica also stands for unwanted society attention into the lives of other people  such as the tax auditor and the pet shop owner  exotica is the customer agent looking at the pet shop owner  which in turn is looking at the core of the problems between the strip dancer and the tax auditor through the detached eye of a gay person  no attraction to the strip dancer   and only interested on avoiding jail  no personal relationship with the tax auditor   in exotica everybody is watching  and what is worse  everybody knows  second  exotica is about isolated people holding back their feelings  about people which by voluntary or involuntary means transfer their view of reality to other characters  the strip dancer becomes the proverbial daughter  the dj becomes the proverbial killer by means of breaking the relationship between the father and the proverbial daughter  the niece becomes the baby sitter  the baby sitter becomes the dancer  and the dancer becomes the proverbial daughter  the pet shop owner becomes the proverbial dj  by finding the proverbial daughter  a chain made of real and imagined links coming around full circle  just as everything comes around to a fitting whole at the end of the movie  
pos	i actually am a fan of the original 1961 or so liveactiondisney flick of the same name starring hayley mills twice as a pair of twins  separated at birth by divorcing parents  never to come in contact with the other so the parents never have to meet again  and everyone should know how i feel about remakes  especially of films i happen to enjoy  my fallacy  unless youre going to either capture the same exact spirit of the original or do something different with it or maybe even both  just wrack your brain and come up with a  gasp  new idea   this remake was not originally on the top of my viewing list  and was actually quite the opposite  contemporary liveactiondisney films are not one of my favorties  anyway  theyre usually unfunny  alienating  and a big fat bore  at least to anyone over the age of 11 and above the iq of 10  this one  however  is shockingly not bad  in fact  its actually good  not the original good  but whats great about it is that it doesnt necessarily retread the original or capture the same exact spirit as it does become entertaining for the same exact reasons the original was entertaining  because its cute and innocent fun  because it has a pretty killer plot that is endlessly fun to follow along with  because the lead star is immensely appealing  because the parents are also immensely appealing  and  im repeating myself  because its cute and innocent fun  theres nothing too risque about it  save the plot  the idea of separating twins and denying them the truth for years is ominously selfish  but that is precisely the point of the movie   and its aimed directly at either kids  adults who want to remember the original  or young adults who want to remember what it was like to be a kid  i  personally  am somewhere between the second and third  i can vividly remember when my taste in movies wasnt so weird or diverse  the names godard and kubrick werent even a glimmer in my right eye back then   when i would tune in every sunday night for a couple years to see abcs  wonderful world of disney   where theyd show you a liveaction andor madefortv disney flick an hour per week  i can remember my mom taking my sister and i along with all my friends and their mothers to see all the rereleased disney films  like  lady and the tramp  and  pinnochio    and  most sadly  i remember every single christmas  without fail  there were a barage of childrens animated halfhour shows  made exclusively for the christmas season  that i wouldnt dare missing  i can even remember seeing the madefortv  parent trap ii  on tv one night  and after i had seen that one over and over and over again  i saw the original  parent trap   its more of a late childhood movie  because it deals with the issue of divorce  but it deals with it in a disneyized version  its playful  and witty  and charming  and if i saw it for the first time right now  having never experienced that part of my childhood  id probably dismiss it  id probably do the same for the new version of the same movie if i hadnt seen the original at such a perfect age  watching it  i could remember what fun it was to watch a disney film  and how divorce for me started to get me thinking about the possibilities of my seeminglyperfect parents splitting up  and how it affected my adolescence  and also how it brushed that fear off with a smooth stroke  and pointed out that even in the most fuckedup of situations  things could always work out if you  well  manipulate things a bit  at least for the better  this new version did that for me  but its also charming in its own way  it has a new cast  a contemporary feel  and  for the first time in awhile for a liveactiondisney flick  a tone that isnt corny or condescending  but just right  the moments that would otherwise seem corny are actually affecting in a safe kind of way  and for the first time since the original film  the kids actually know better than the foolish adults  the story is basically classic by now  repeated almost as many times as kurosawas  the seven samurai   a pair of twins  played here by lindsay lohan  just like they were played by hayley mills in the original  are separated at birth by their divorcing parents  one  annie  is sent to live with the mother  natasha richardson  resembling her mother  vanessa redgrave  more than i had ever noticed  in london  where she lives with her parents and her devoted  foppish butler  simon kunz   as she works as a swingin fashion designer  she grows up refined and classy  but also with a keen knowledge in sports and pokerplaying  the other  hallie  is sent to northern california with her father  dennis quaid  to live on a vineyard with their pseudomaid  lisa ann walter   and grows up rugged yet charming  they both meet at the same camp  one that annie wants to go to to become more rugged  they feud because they look alltoo similar  and are thus in tight competition  which results in some nasty pranks  which winds them in seclusion together in a private  outoftheway cabin  there  they become friends  then learn about eachother  once they know everything  they concoct a scheme to switch places so the one can meet the other parent  whom theyve only heard of  they learn about eachothers lives in detail  they make sure they look alike  which requires hair cutting and  notoriously  earpiercing  a scene which is like the kiddie version of the hypodermic needle scene in  pulp fiction    and when the end of summer comes  they switch and hope for the best  lindsay lohan doesnt necessarily copy the acting style of hayley mills in the original  but she comes off just as appealing as she did once  she does  though  add a couple new things  she makes the california twin a little more appealing and the london twin a bit more frank and snobbish than the snotty and proper original  respectively  she also adds on an american and british accent to each one  with one faking the other accent throughout  and if you really take notice  you can see that the fake ones accents arent exactly perfect  shes also incredibly appealing  not merely cute  which is especially notable since this is her first feature film  and we know how notorious child actors are  especially in their first films  she makes a great protagonist  and it only helps that the supporting cast is equally appealing  dennis quaid  in fact  hasnt been this likable in about a decade  his big dumb smile and near cocky attitude is what has made him a notable actor in the past  not just that hes mr  meg ryan  ditto natasha richardson  except that she just hasnt ever been this likable period   the two make a winning couple  maybe not so winning as maureen ohara and the late brian keith in the original  but they still work for this film  instead of the bickering that ensued in the original  the film adds another dimension and another angle to their characters that was amiss in the original  during the opening credits  we see glimpses from their courtship on the qe2  where they fall quickly and madly in love with eachother  and when back together again  the films more smarmy scenes come off as actually sentimental  but in that great way  not the migraineinducing way as in many such films  this all brings this new  parent trap  to a level of entertainment that hasnt really existed since  well  the original film years ago  still my money the best liveactiondisney flick of all time  this is because it has a form of intelligence and wit that makes such plot points as an otherwise standard villainous love interest subplot  a golddigging sharon stone type  played by elaine hendrix  whos deliciously tormented by the twins later on in the film  a treat instead of a bore  like the original  this film transcends all the crap that it very well could be  case in point   it takes two  starring the olsen twins  because it treats the children as the smart ones  and the adults as the silly ones  not the other way around  and because  above everything  it knows exactly how to be charming without biting off more than it can chew  however  in comparison with the original  it could be a bit better  certain scenes work well  but not nearly as well as they worked in the original  i liked the way the parents fought over past dilemnas and then fought over falling in love again better than i liked watching two old flames getting back together over a bottle of wine  somehow  feuding is always more cinematic and pleasing than mere reminscing  a lesson extracted from the howard hawkscary grant films of yesteryear  and as much as this film transcends mere cutedom  compared to the original  this film almost drowns in cutedom  the original  though not gritty  was far more stylized and just as suitable for adult audiences as it was for young audiences  as such  this remake may never be nearly as great or classic as the original film  but it at least knows how to treat its source material with dignity and respect  and how to create virtually the same effects without bordering on plagerism or petty annoyances  
pos	gere  willis  poitier chase each other around the world the jackal a film review by michael redman copyright 1997 by michael redman when the soviet union imploded  the western countries lost their shadow  with the united states friendly with the russians  we no longer had an entity to blame for the worlds problems  this showed up in hollywood films as the communist government was no longer the easy bad guy  its time to rejoice because weve found our new villain  now its no longer the russian government who sends killers out into foreign lands  its the russian mafia  a perfect solution  it combines the dread of organized crime and the stillpresent uneasiness with the former eastern block countries  best of all  the villains are still foreigners  fear of the other always plays best  so it is a crime lord in moscow that sends legendary hitman the jackal  bruce willis  to assassinate a highly placed us government figure in retaliation for the death of his brother during a nightclub raid  the fbi is at a loss as to how to protect the target from someone theyre not sure even exists  coming to their rescue is former ira operative declan mulqueen  richard gere  who is temporarily released from prison to assist fbi agent carter preston  sidney poitier  and russian major valentina koslova  diane venora   mulqueens exgirlfriend basque terrorist isabella  mathilda may  is the only person who has seen the elusive jackal   presumably there is an exclusive international terrorist club somewhere where the three met   the film follows two parallel tracks as the jackal prepares for his 70 million hit and mulqueen attempts to locate him while preston makes sure that the irishman doesnt slip away  crossing numerous borders and donning various disguises for both himself and his minivan  the killer is always one step ahead of his pursuers  being very loosely based on the same book the 1973 thriller  the day of the jackal   comparison between the two films is inevitable  there is no doubt that the original is the better movie  playing the story for suspense rather than the current actionadventure  as a mystery   the jackal  has enough holes in it to ruin the tale  but if you can accept it for what it is  theres entertainment to be had  holes  lets see  a pivotal clue for mulqueen is so obscure that he must possess psychic powers to pick it up  for a 20year veteran that can command the big bucks  the jackal is an incredibly poor shot  the final scene between gere and willis occurs in a location that should be mobbed with police  but its just the two of them  willis disguises usually look like bruce willis and are just as interesting as val kilmers in  the saint    and lest you misunderstand  thats not a compliment   but the three stars are fun to watch  its good to see gere in something other than a business suit  willis has a mixed history in picking projects  but his characters are always watchable  poitier is by far the superior actor  but has limited screen time  the problems in logic are flaws  but dont ruin the experience  occasionally there are movies that transcend their blemishes  this is one of them  the appeared in the 112097  bloomington voice   bloomington  indiana 
pos	its terribly unfortunate that  stir of echoes   tautly written and directed by david koepp  who made one of 1996s unsung treasures   the trigger effect    should be released little more than a month after  the sixth sense   which is still going strong at the box office  these two films are undoubtedly going to be compared  judging from practically all of my fellow audience members last night   and although they have eerily similar storylines   stir of echoes  is more of a straightforward psychological horror film  while  the sixth sense  is closer to a psychological drama  additionally  while  the sixth sense  had a shocker of an ending that undoubtedly has been one of the major factors in its recent repeat business   stir of echoes  is more conventional and predictable in its final twist  and where  the sixth sense  was disturbing   stir of echoes  is just plain scary  i have a feeling most viewers are going to come away unimpressed because of the unavoidable similarities  and will foolishly forget to judge this film on its own respectable merits  adapted from a novel by richard matheson that was written some forty years ago   stir of echoes  opens with a cute sixyearold boy named jake  zachary david cope  who is taking a bath  he is speaking directly at the screen  but we immediately have a feeling someone else is there  finally  he asks   does it hurt to be dead   apparently jake sees the ghosts of dead people  but unlike  the sixth sense   this young child isnt the focus of the picture  instead  tom witzy  kevin bacon   a chicago lineman  is our protagonist  jake is his son  and maggie  kathryn erbe   whom has just discovered she is six weeks pregnant  is his hardworking wife  one night while at a party with their closest friends  tom convinces maggies newage sister  lisa  illena douglas   to try and hypnotize him  it unexpectedly works  and before long  tom is seeing things he wouldnt normally see  including a deceased teenage girl  jenny morrison  in his house who happens to have been missing for the last six months  seeking help from lisa  she tells him that  while he was under hypnosis  she told him that after he awoke  his mind will remain clear and free  like an opened door  she didnt expect it to work  but it did  and the only way to stop it is for tom to somehow find a way to help this girl he sees   stir of echoes  isnt a perfect film by any stretch of the imagination  but in the thick  atmospheric mood it conjures up  it is a terrifically eerie domestic horrordrama  and is not only effective on a technical level  but is impressive in its portrayal of a struggling workingclass family  kevin bacon and  especially  kathryn erbe  1997s  dream with the fishes    are topnotch and exceedingly believable as a loving married couple who nonetheless have their fair share of problems  after tom is hypnotized and starts seeing ghastly visions  he is completely taken over by his desire to solve this mystery of the disappearing girl whom he has seen lurking in his house  and instead of maggie not being understanding  she instead believes what tom says  and aside from being a little worried by what he is going through  does not try to stop his pursuit  bacon and erbe are not traditional hollywood stars like tom cruise and julia roberts  and therefore  are easier to relate to and always plausible as a struggling couple who have to work overtime at their jobs just to make ends meet  in a masterfullydone  entrancing sequence  tom is hypnotized by lisa  but instead of watching him  we instead see what he sees  starting from his view as he closes his eyes into darkness  lisa tells him to visualize being in an empty movie theater  and so  we  as audience members  are watching a movie screen from inside a theater  which is also showing a movie screen in a theater  telling him to move closer and closer to the screen as a fuzzy word in black letters pops up on the screen  we begin to float closer and closer to the front of the theater until we see that the word is  sleep   never before have i seen a hypnotism scene as mesmerizing and brilliantlyconstrued as this one  truthfully  this setpiece  and another in which tom wakes up from a nightmarish dream only to quickly discover he is reliving what he has just dreamt  are worth the full price of admission alone  just to see them on the big screen  having loads of fun with her small role as maggies sister  lisa  illeana douglas  1995s  to die for   her last great character  is a delight  but rarely used to her full advantage in feature films  funny and enjoyably offbeat  douglas gets to utter the best line in the film  while talking to maggie about toms visions of the girl  she remarks   i wouldnt be worried about him seeing another girl  although the fact that shes dead gives one pause   also of note are jenny morrison  1994s  intersection    who is truly poignant in the last half of the film when we flash back to see what really happened to her missing character  and liza weil  remarkable in 1998s  whatever   as morrisons grieving teenage sister  debbie  if the resolution of  stir of echoes  does not live up to its obviously frightful full potential  and it doesnt   what comes before is both involving and appropriately gritty  the music score  by james newton howard  and unsettling use of whispers and ghostly sound effects  successfully compliment and foreshadow the offkilter frameofmind that tom is put into  and director david koepp proves once again that he is a director with a knack for creating almost unbearably tense situations that revolve around realisticallywritten characters   stir of echoes  isnt as good as  the sixth sense   but why should it need to be  both films are fully capable of standing on their own two feet  and  stir of echoes  really is a spinetinglingly good horror film  
pos	usually when a blockbuster comes out  its loaded with effects  stars  bad scripts  and plenty of action  mystery men may contain an allstar cast  and efects  but the clever script and characters are what really works  which is rare to see this year  the film is based upon the comic book series  the flaming carrot  by bob burden  in which 3 wanna be super heroes try and fight crime  only to be out done by the real hero of champion city  captain amazing  greg kinnear   things go a little haywire  when the sinister casanova frankenstein  geoffrey rush  is released into the city  where he captures captain amazing  and plans to wreak havoc upon champion city  well  the trio decide to take matters in their own hands  by saving the city  but first they need some assitance  this is where the film takes a turn for the better  in the beggining  there were only 3 wanna be heroes   blue raja  hank azaria    mr  furious  ben stiller  and  the shoveller  william h  macy   sure they were enterataining  but their acts grew old fast  that is until they aquire  invisible boy   kel mitchell   and  the bowler   janeane garafalo  and  mr  splein   paul reubens   2 of which rescue the film from becoming a disastorous mess  thankfully  the original 3 heroes become amusing  with some support of reuben and garfalo on screen  the whole premise is rather ridiculous  but packs a few punches to keep interest  for one  the film is considerably clever  it literally pokes fun at super hero films  like batman and robin  superman etc  in fact  many scenes are similar to batman and robin  including the opening sequence  only altered in a humorous and superior way  a part of the cleverness comes from the cast  sometimes a film with such talent is overblown  but the acting is what keeps it alive here  while azaria and macy were enteratining  2 characters really stood out  one was paul reuben  no matter how disgusting or revolting  mr  splein  may be  you still cant help but laugh  it so incredibly moronic  its just a riot watching reuben relieve himself of bodily functions  janeane garafalo also was an interesting character  she seemed to be the most outgoing and convincing character on screem  due to her enthusiasm  that kept the film flowing  men is worth seeing alone  for those 2 troubled heroes  on the downside  a few of the heroes and especially the villain never really lift off  kel mitchell and geoffrey rush  were both utterly useless  their parts were so limited  theyd be lucky at all to be on screen for more than 20 minutes  ben stiller too was wasted  mostly because of his unlikeable power and dialogue  none of these characters get a rise out of anybody  but happily they are lost in the charming flow of the film  as far as the budget goes  it was wisely spent on the cast  not the effects  while the set designs and action all look nice  im glad there was a seperate aspect  that the film focused on  and for that i applaud  slow at times  and rather pointless  mystery men still delivers  it forgets about money making  because its not likely to make a bundle like its proceeders  and thats what works  stupid  maybe  but for once im not disappointed  no one expected an intelligent film  but you get a film thats wit captures your attention and makes you forget this miserable year  
pos	review peter jacksons the frighteners has received some notice for setting the record for most computer effects ever in a movie  and still coming in at the extremely cheap 30 million price tag  but for those who were dismayed by this years blockbusters like twister and independence day  the frighteners has much more to offer than special effects  and for those worried wether or not peter jackson would compromise to hollywood you can rest easily  the frighteners is as far removed from hollywood as a highprofile movie can get  michael j  fox stars as frank bannister  a con artist who can speak to ghosts  he uses this ability to set up a scam in a small town where his ghost buddies scare the hell out of people  then he comes and pretends to get rid of them  this is how he has made a living ever since his wife died in a car crash 5 years ago  franks latest customers are a young couple  played by trini alvarado and peter dobson  when dobson ends up dead  alvarado starts to take an interest in fox  but dobsons spirit is still around as he refuses to beleive hes dead  this leads to a very awkward and amusing dinner date between fox and alvarado  with dobson tagging along as a ghost  things start getting complicated for fox when he is accused for a series of murders taking place in the town  fox sees someone named the soul collector crushing the heart of the victims  but noone else can see that  so when fox shows up to try and save each victim  naturally people suspect he is the killer  fox sees that alvarado is next on the soul collectors hit list  and the last half hour of the movie deals with foxs attempts to save her from this evil spirit  there are many wonderful twists and turns in the screenplay written by peter jackson and frances walsh  the movie starts off as a black comedy  and ends up a horroraction film  the mix between these genres are perfect  no laughs are sacrificed in the name of horror  and vice versa  one point of contention might be a lackluster score by danny elfman  but that hardly seems like a flaw when you have such a diverse cast all in top form  michael j  fox delivers one of his best performances to date as a man who hides the sorrow of his wifes death  and then is forced to confront this later on  alvarado  looking like andie macdowell  makes a great frightened  tough  and smart heroine  and jeffery combs  as a paranoid fbi agent  is brilliantly bizaare  the frighteners never once feels like it is running long  the first hour is as funny as any comedy this year  and the last half hour is as thrilling as any of the big budget blockbusters  this movie is probably what casper wouldve looked like if david lynch directed it  its easily the best film of the year  so far  
pos	before you read my review  you gotta know that i love woody allen  this is a very important note because allens films are generally an acquired taste and definitely not for everyone  i know folks who believe him to be a complete genius  while others see him as a dirty ol schnook who keeps making the same movie over and over again  i love most of his films  but will admit to having been quite disappointed by his recent crop during the 90s  in fact  why he felt the need to make 10 movies in those 10 years is beyond me  if you look at the quality of those films  youll hear what im saying  the only two films of his that i really liked during that time were bullets over broadway and husbands and wives  in fact  i secretly hoped that he would take some  time off  at the turn of the millennium  just to reenergize or something  but it doesnt appear as though he has any intention of doing that  so here i am again  reviewing yet another woody allen movie and hoping that it brings back the woody from the days of old  plot  the year is 1940 and woody allen is a topnotch insurance investigator  his methods are very oldfashioned and apparently out of date  a new employee  hunt  has just been hired to streamline the operations for greater efficiency  the two do not like each other  one night  they are both put under a hypnotic trance by a magician  and unbeknownst to them  placed under his control  soon thereafter  jewels are stolen  words of love are exchanged and everyone is looking for an answer  critique  a wonderful recreation of the 1940s style movies  with the fasttalking witty banter between coworkers  a catchy jazz score moving things along  film noirish elements such as the veronica laketype sexpot  oneliners galore and a fluffy  if inconsequential plotline  on the downside  the film actually starts off pretty slowly  with the first hour tossing only a few guffaws out there  but never really generating any kind of steady flow or energy  the sets  on the other hand  were amazing  the production design and costumes were perfect  and the casting ideal  so i kept hoping that the film would pick up and not turn into yet another mediocre outing for the man  but it wasnt not long before i was fully engaged by the characters  entertained by the many zingers delivered backandforth between allen and hunt  and actually interested in the resolution of the flick  i also appreciated how allen played the fine line between homage to the films of old  parody and actual reinvention  note therons entire female persona that is drenched in film noir very cool   of course  films like this  with little or no real tension in the plot  need solid actors to keep you interested in the quickfire dialogue  and once again  allen does a great job in playing his character  who for once  isnt his typical new york jewish neurotic cheating insecure husband dude  he actually plays a  macho  guy here and handles it pretty well  especially the scenes in which hes hypnotized  but the bigger surprise for me in this film was helen hunt  an actress who i was openly  sick of seeing  in movies late last year  sorry babe  you were just in too many at the same time    anyway  shes really great in this film as the headstrong woman looking to a new era of equality amongst men  and doesnt miss a beat of allens fastpaced dialogue  i didnt care much for her running joke about him  dying  whenever he left a room  but overall she was really good and i especially liked the way that her sweaters clung to her breasts as they did    yum  yum  harumph  but i digress  so lets recap  a great looking picture with a nice jazzy score  some funny oneliners  especially in the second half  a decent plotline  although you shouldnt expect a real mystery or anything  and some solid acting all around  i cant say that this is even remotely close to any of allens best work  but i certainly believe it to be a step in the right direction  especially after the dinky decade of films that he just went through  its probably better geared towards allen fans more than anyone else  but i would still recommend this film to anyone looking for a cute   oldschool  kind of vibe  with chemistry between the leads  zippy dialogue and a satisfying conclusion  little known facts about this film and its stars  annie hall  1010   celebrity  510   everyone says i love you  510   husbands and wives  910   mighty aphrodite  510   small time crooks  710   when harry met sally  1010   youve got mail  410  
pos	susan grangers review of  legally blonde   m  g  m   its a  pretty in pink    clueless  comingofage story for the new millennium as elle woods  reese witherspoon   a perky southern california sorority queen  switches from fashion to law in order to win back her yuppy boyfriend  matthew davis   the girlpower story begins as this sweetheart of delta nu is unceremoniously dumped by a bonehead who says   if im going to be a senator by the time im 30    i need to marry a jackie  not a marilyn   determined to prove shes as smart a snobby brunette  selma blair  from countryclub connecticut  elle not only applies to harvard law school but gets in  much to the amazement of family  friends and faculty  once there  this flaxenhaired fishoutofwater not only survives but tenaciously thrives  befriending a local manicurist  jennifer coolidge   dazzling a professor  victor garber  and rescuing a defendant  ali larter  in a celebrated boston murder trial  plus finding a more worthy beau  luke wilson   in the tradition of teencomedy filmmaker john hughes and his disciple amy heckerling  theres wit  cheerfulness  a fidelity of observation and a penchant for problemsolving  firsttime feature director robert luketic is blessed with reese witherspoon whos joyously incandescent in this utterly formulaic light comedy written by karen mccullah lutz and kirsten smith  based on a soontobepublished novel by amanda brown  the supporting cast is terrific  particularly raquel welch and holland taylor  and i particularly got a kick out of the gag of elle distributing scented resumes in pink  her signature color on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   legally blonde  is a frivolous  funny  feelgood 8  filled with ditzy blonde ambition  its a movie for highschool kids that their parents would be happy to have them see  
pos	what do you get when you combine clueless and dumb and dumber  to answer the question  you get director david mirkins new comedy romy and micheles high school reunion  romy white  mira sorvino  mighty aprhodite  and michele weinberger  lisa kudrow  tvs friends  have been inseparable buddies since they graduated from sagebrush high in 1987  however  when former classmate heather mooney  janeane garafolo  the truth about cats and dogs  confronts romy about the 10 year reunion  she is astounded that she forgot  watching pretty woman for the umteenth time  they are reminded of how they wouldnt let julia roberts character shop in the expensive stores because of her appearance  then it hits them  they are not successful  what are she and michele going to do  romys instant solution is lose some weight off their already slender frames   bag a couple of boyfriends   and get jobs  romy says this will be easy  but michele retorts that if it is so easy  why hadnt they already done it  robin schiffs script keeps the show moving with some nice oneliners  one of the best has romy reminiscing about her lifes battle against the bathroom scales   i was so lucky getting mono   she says looking at her thinnest high school picture   that was like the best diet ever   the casting for the film is so perfect that one begins to suspect that the leads were chosen and then the script was developed  romy and michele use their high school yearbook to discuss the caste system at their high school  the films editor david finfer dissolves the stills from the yearbook to live action flashbacks which makes the past come to life  at sagebrush high  the hierarchy consisted of the a group  cheerleaders   the b group  drama club  and the c group  nerds   romy and michele were none of the above  ridiculed as  the weirdoes   they were constant targets for abuse  even though they were quite attractive  they had so much fun being together that they did not care about the others  that they make their own outlandish clothes helped keep the wall around them  complementing romy and micheles lightness  is janeane garofalo as the dark  pudgy heather mooney  heather  who invented a new cigarette paper for cigarettes with  twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go   has the success and the money that they would like  heather was even more of an outsider than they were in high school  garofalos onedimensional role is only a side show  this is a two person film with the other characters there merely for the two leads to bounce their lines off of  the genuine chemistry between sorvino and kudrow makes for a sweet and sometimes touching comedy  they have so much fun acting out their parts  their enjoyment spreads to the audience   
pos	martin scorseses triumphant adaptation of edith whartons the age of innocence is a stunning film for the quintessential new york filmmaker  the man who brought the streets of taxi driver and mean streets to life  it seems like an odd choice for scorsese to do a period piece in the early 1900s  but the fact that he pulls it off so brilliantly is a wonder  and a testament to the greatness of scorsese as a filmmaker  this is a gorgeous visual experience that it surely one of scorseses finest  newland archer  daylewis  is a prestigious lawyer who is engaged to may welland  ryder   a somewhat empty and shallow new yorker  who belongs to a prestigious family and is quite beautiful  the marriage is one which will unite two very prestigious families  in a society where nothing is more important than the opinions of others  on the day that archer is to announce his engagement to may  countess ellen olenska  pfeiffer   cousin of may  walks into archers life  archer is immediately captivated  and finds himself in love with ellen  archer is also bound by the limits of new york society  which is an intrusive as any other in the world  archer finds himself having a secret love affair in his mind with countess olenska  attempting to keep her in his mind while trying not to lose his social status  the films subject matter may seem alien to scorsese  but the theme is definitely not  it is a theme of forbidden romance  guilty pleasures  and the consequences causes because of those actions  there is a painstakingly flawed hero  and his choice between the life he wants  and the life he is destined for  in truth  it is a film about a society the audience doesnt know about  but wants to find out more  much like the society of goodfellas or even kundun  the performances are absolutely breathtaking  daylewis portrays more mental anguish in his face than one man should be forced to take  pfeiffer is marvelous as countess olenska  a mix of passion and beauty that the audience would die for as well  ryder is probably the gem of the group  for it is her quiet presence that overwhelms the plot  and slowly pushes daylewis closer and closer to his eventual ending  the supporting cast is also wonderful  with several characters so singular that they are indelible in ones memory  scorsese definitely has a passion for filmmaking  his lavish and sumptuous set design and marvelous recreation of new york is a wondrous sight  he literally transports the viewer to another world with incredible imagery  his script is also excellent  slow in buildup  with a rapid conclusion and a fantastic ending that has to be seen to be believed  it is difficult to make a period piece gripping  scorsese  however  does it beautifully  the famous cameras of the legendary director are also everywhere  he is patient  but he films everything and anything remotely important  the cameras sweep  pan  track  and do more than theyve ever done  but they are so subtle  one doesnt realize hes watching all the scorsese hallmarks until a 2nd viewing  the central tracking shot is probably longer and more complex than the famous goodfellas shot  but the viewer doesnt notice it  because we want to see more of this gorgeous world  there are a few deft touches of filmmaking that are simply outstanding  and joanne woodward narration is exquisite  not a fast film like goodfellas  this shares more in common with kundun than anything else  and like kundun  this is a slowstarting film that truly shines  when given the chance to fully breathe and bloom in the end  a beautiful film by a director continuing to challenge himself year after year  
pos	plot  a dude and his brother are driving crosscountry and decide to fool around with a trucker on their cb radio  it isnt long before their little prank gets someone put into a coma  long story  and the next thing you know  the trucker is following them too  lotsa nuttiness ensues and then  they pick up their other friend  venna  a girl who the dude has a crush on  but whats this     the trucker is still on their tail and is now harassing all three of the young whippersnappers     you bet  buckle up  dorothy    this is gonna be one bumpy ride  critique  a good ol time at the movies  heres a film that actually gives away most of its plotline in its trailer and doesnt really bring anything  new  to the forefront  if youve seen flicks like duel and breakdown  youve crossed this path before   but still manages to entertain you gangbusters  with realistic situations  believable characters  funny moments  thrills  chills  the whole shebang  lets give it up for director john dahl  who continues to put out solid films every other year  if you havent seen red rock west  do yourself a favor right now  and jot it down on a piece of paper and rent it at your earliest convenience   and much like that film  this one has an excellent premise and sets everything up at an even pace  it gives you a little bit of background on each of the main three characters  and then shows you how one small prank  can lead to a whole lotta trouble for everyone  paul walker really surprised me in this movie  since ive never much thought of him as anything more than a pretty face  and damn  is it ever pretty or what    but here  he actually manages to put some depth behind the looks and thats always appreciated in films in which you are so closely tied to the main characters  sobieski is also good  but she isnt in the movie for as long as youd think  but the man who really takes this film to another level  is steve zahn  if youve loved this guy as the  goofball  in most of his previous roles  youll appreciate him even more here  as the dude who starts off as one of the most manic and excited human beings ive seen in quite some time   this is so awesome      only to turn into a man scared out of his wits by the end of the flick  and speaking of the ending  boy  does this movie deliver some chilling moments during its final 15 clicks or what    the arrow and i were practically in each others arms  well  maybe im exaggerating  but you catch my drift  as each minute brought about another turn of events which in turn  took it all to an even higher level  once again  kudos to director dahl for being able to generate that type of intensity  suspense and tension  with a great score  editing  style and camerawork  plotwise  i too did wonder how the  bad guy  was able to track them so well  but it didnt really bother me all that much  you can assume that he had bugged their car    but pretty much everything else in the story stuck like glue and i couldnt help but put myself in their shoes and appreciate their thoroughly desperate circumstance  a great movie with an even cooler ending  this film will likely be remembered as one of the better thrillers of the year   this is amazing     wheres joblo coming from  american psycho  1010   deep blue sea  810   eye of the beholder  410   the fast and the furious  710   final destination  810   the glass house  610   no way out  810  
pos	wyatt earp has a lot to tell and little to say  this story of the legendary lawman runs three hours and nine minutes and thats too long for this epicwannabe that plays more like a tv miniseries than a movie  the story opens on the earp family farm  with young wyatt ready to run away from home  he wants to fight in the civil war  but his dad  hackman  has different ideas and wants his son to study law  time passes and wyatt heads west  returns home to marry  and  after a spell  begins his career in law enforcement  by the time he  costner  and his brothers  madsen  david andrews  and linden ashby  arrive in tombstone  wyatt has tried his hand at everything from hunting buffalo to dealing cards  wyatt earp is very appealing in places such as cast  costumes  and cinematography but an overstated story and overpowered score deaden most of the emotional impact  who can be moved by scene after scene after scene of swelling strings and suffocating speeches  somber is fine just ask clint eastwood but this film that boasts not one  not two  but three  count em three  hammy death scenes  still  a little bit of earp goes a long way and the life and times of the legendary lawman are from uninteresting stuff  his  uh  unusual relations with women  for example  are an intriguing contrast to his characters credo of  nothing counts as much as blood   equally amusing is a buffalohunting  and skinning   sequence that is decidedly nonpc  director lawrence kasdan takes a refreshingly realistic approach to the gunplay  the infamous gunfight at the ok corral is both brutal and brief  devoid of almost any theatrics  dont look for much glorified violence here  despite some large exclamation points in the story  the characters  do  come to life  the diverse cast includes everyone from betty buckley    to mackenzie astin      kevin costner is very good in the title role  dances with whitney nevers get as steely as the role requires  though  but his transformation from lighthearted law student to stoic sheriff is fun to watch  he was tougher in a perfect world  his foil is dennis quaid  who pulled a deniro by losing 40 pounds to play the tubercular terror doc holliday  gaunt  and  gamely  hes a scene stealer whos seen too little  other familiar faces include tom sizemore  looking like bruce mcgill   bill pullman  looking like jeff daniels   and lea thompson  looking like someone other than lea thompson   both gene hackman and isabella rosselini appear and disappear like magic  while late entries catherine ohara and jobeth williams are surprisingly solid  though the story and score shouldve tried  less is more   all other credits are technical tops  production designer ida random  art director gary wissner  and costume designer colleen atwood are some of the vips who helped spend what mustve been an enormous budget  clearly no expense was spared  
pos	when i first heard that kevin costner was making a movie called  the postman   i thought   an american version of il postino   starring costner  god help us   when i found out that it was not a remake of  postino  but an postapocalyptic epic  i thought   landworld   please  god  make him stop   as it turns out   the postman  is a much better film than i had expected  despite being set in 2013  the movie is  at heart  a western  a band of thugs terrorizes peaceful villagers  a wandering hero opposes the bandits and inspires others to fight back  the setting  however  allows that familiar plot to take on greater significance  american society has collapsed due to plagues and wars  and survivors live behind barracades in isolated villages  the struggle of a dead society to be reborn has a grand quality and deserves the epic scale costner grants it  costners nameless character  a wandering actor  rides in from the vast wasteland and is soon shanghaied into the service of general bethlehem  will patton   a former copymachine salesman turned bandit king  our hero escapes and discovers the body of a dead postman  taking the uniform and bag of mail  he passes himself off as a representative of  the restored united states   he is shocked at the hope that he inspires in the people he meets  one young disciple  ford lincoln mercury  larenz tate   organizes a fullscale postal service  ford spreads the postmans message of hope until bethlehem finds that the oncemeek villagers are beginning to resist his rule  as war breaks out between bethlehems army and the postal workers  costners character steps into the legend he created and goes from selfcentered loner to leader of the revolution  his lie of the restored united states becomes a selffulfilling prophecy   postman  is an odd blend of a bleak setting and a message of wideeyed optimism  sort of  sergio leone meets frank capra    but its treatment of hope and renewal is compelling  what could have been another knockoff of  the road warrior   like  waterworld  was  surprises the viewer with a sensitively told story of nobility emerging from rubble  tate is the standout in the movies large cast  ford lincoln mercury  selfnamed  is the polar opposite of odog  tates character in his debut film   menace ii society   1993   and tate makes fords innocent belief in hope as convincing as odogs cynicism and brutality  his performance sells the movie  interestingly  as tate moves from his usual streetsmart roles to youthful optimism  the softeyed patton  who usually plays nice guys  proves a disarming villain  olivia williams makes her film debut as the postmans love interest  abby  when they first meet  abby asks him to father her child because her husband is sterile  predictably  the husband is soon eliminated by the bandits  and abby is thrown back into the company of the hero  however  their relationship develops slowly as the emotional conflicts of both characters are explored  she  torn by grief  guilt  and anger  he  resisting his destiny    the postman  is costners best work thus far  perhaps that alone gives us hope for the future    
pos	in zoolander  the worlds most successful  influential and intellectuallychallenged male model derek zoolander wonders   is there more to life than being really really really good looking   obviously  the films creator and star ben stiller asked a similar question when crafting a featurelength movie out of his hilarious vh1vogue fashion awards shortfilm subject  can there be more to this film than being really really really silly  no  of course not  and it never aspires to be anything more  much like derek  zoolander is a sweet simpleton of a movie  its not complex in either its social commentary or its comedy  and it never produces any gutbusting laughs  except maybe a scene when dereks model roommates all die in a tragic  gasoline fight  accident  a riotously funny takeoff of tommy hilfiger ads   but it has a satisfying handful of strong chuckles  wild characters and performances  and mildly harsh potshots at the fashion industry to keep you amused  better yet  this exaggerated version of the original threeminute skit is only blown out to an efficient 95 minutes  just enough time to string together its goofball plot without exhausting the gag  zoolander opens with several fashion bigwigs plotting to assassinate the prime minister of malaysia  since he wants to abolish child labor in his country and thus driving up their costs  fashion designer and criminal mastermind jacobim mugatu  will ferrell  drafts a plan to brainwash the dumbest fashion model to carry out the evil deed  enter derek  whose career is slumping as newcomer hansel  owen wilson  takes the spotlight  on the trail of mugatus plot is time magazine reporter matilda jeffries  stillers reallife wife christine taylor   and shes hoping to use mugatus pawn derek to ultimately foil the scheme  much like the austin powers films  zoolander relies heavily on the strength of the talent involved  and this zany comedy features some of the funniest people in entertainment today  wilson is hysterical as the young  vain hansel  ferrell nearly steals the show from everyone as the flamboyant  freakish mugatu in the same way dr  evil upstages everyone in austin powers  jerry stiller  bens dad whos best remembered as frank costanza of seinfeld  makes a priceless turn as dereks slimy agent maury ballstein  even ben stiller show alum andy dick shows up as a deranged  largeassed masseuse  as for ben stiller  it seems his derek has one gag  hes stupid  which plays out in some uproarious oneliners  unfortunately  taylor seems out of place and out of her league here  maybe its just because i cant stop seeing her as marcia brady  who she played in both brady movies   making her unbelievable as a dowdy  brainy plain jane who hasnt had sex in two years  she leaves me pining for the cynicism of janeane garofolo  who wouldve added real comic substance to the flimsy role  while zoolander is hardly highbrow  its screwball humor is welcome during these trying times  especially considering the gross lack of decent pickings in the theaters these days  zoolanders no masterpiece  but a very worthy distraction  
pos	originally titled dont lose your head  this parody of the scarlet pimpernel story was the first carry on to be produced by rank film productions  two english fops  the powdered  bewigged  beribboned sir rodney ffing  sidney james  and his counterpart lord darcy pew  jim dale  decide to travel to revolutionary france in an attempt to rescue their fellow french royalists and aristocrats from losing their heads by the guillotine  due to a series of machinations and disguises  they are largely successful  ffing becomes known as the black fingernail because he leaves a calling card behind which shows two fingers sticking up  one with a black fingernail  after the fingernail rescues a prominent royalist the duc de pommfrit  charles hawtrey   citizen robespierre  peter gilmore  orders the head of the secret police citizen the big cheese camembert  kenneth williams  and citizen bidet  peter butterworth  to follow the fingernail to england and do away with him   in fact  darcy and ffing are their coachmen   once at calais  the fingernail meets jacqueline  dany robin  and they fall in love instantly  he tells her his identity and gives her his locket  when camembert realises that the fingernail is nearby  he searches the inn at calais and captures jacqueline  thinking that she is wearing a diguise and is really the fingernail  jacqueline is imprisoned in the bastille and camembert  his love desiree dubarry  joan sims   and bidet all travel to london in pursuit of the fingernail  they pretend to be of noble stock  calling themselves the duc and duchesse de la plume de ma tante  with bidet their assistant  and are invited by darcy to a ball held by ffing  desiree finds out that ffing is the fingernail by wearing the locket around her neck  but she ends up falling in love with him  ffing attempts to stall camembert so that he can return to the bastille to rescue jacqueline  camembert has her moved to the chateau neuve  and a climactic swordfight decides who will lose their heads at the end of the film  a more complex story than most carry ons  this film enjoys good production values  sets  costumes  and an onform cast  sid james is excellent as the english fop and black fingernail  kenneth williams excels as the evil camembert  and peter butterworth expertly plays the substantial part of camemberts thickwitted crony  other acting honours go to joan sims who is perfect as desiree and charles hawtrey who is excellent as the french aristo pommfrit  although it suffers from a disasterously overlong sword fight at the end of the film  it is largely successful due to the performances of the main stars  its slick and professional production  and its betterthanusual script  definitely one of the best of the series and a joy to watch  
pos	if there is one thing that bothers me about hollywood films its their predictable endings  the devils advocate has the atypical hollywood ending  when everything that should happen does  unfortunately for the devils advocate  this ending nearly collapses in on itself  and ruins the entire film  nevertheless  the film does provide two and a half hours of pure entertainment  note to self  kill whomever was in charge of the previews for this film   i dont think i was quite prepared for this movie because the trailers made it appear to be some supernatural horror film about satan  well  it does contain this element  but what is not mentioned in the ads is the other plot elements  and seemingly more interesting ones at that   the devils advocate begins in florida with an ongoing trial in session  kevin lomax  keanu reeves  is the defense attorney  working for a client whom has been accused of raping a young girl  he ends up with a notguilty verdict  despite an emotional testimony from the victim  heather matarazzo   he leaves the courthouse with his lovely wife mary ann  charlize theron  where he is approached with an offer to travel to new york city to help choose a good jury  he accepts  mainly after seeing the paycheck he will receive  and he flies to new york with his wife  after proving his worth for selecting juries  and his perfect winning streak in court   the head of the firm  john milton  al pacino   asks him to work permanently as a criminal lawyer  he graciously accepts  where he is treated almost as a god  he is given an incredible apartment  which is bigger than my entire house now   and a hefty paycheck  his life seems to be on the rise  and of course  his life suddenly begins to waver and slowly decline  he is attracted to fellow employee christabella  connie nielson   and his wife begins to feel very lonely in her large apartment  mary ann takes up a friendship with a neighbor who always gives advice  especially if it is not wanted  meanwhile  kevin nabs a case surrounding alexander cullen  craig t  nelson  who apparently murdered three people  he spends hours upon hours with this case  while forgetting his loving wife  who may or may not be going insane  all of this while john milton may or may not be the devil himself  after a while  things turn completely upsidedown  as kevins wife claims to have seen monstrous images superimposed on her friends  a fellow employee is murdered in the park  and his mother  judith ivey  reveals information about kevins real father  is it all just a big nightmare  or is john milton really satan  playing tricks with kevins life  the devils advocate plays out fairly straightforward  but for some odd reason  the screenwriters wanted to surprise everyone by giving us something we dont expect  is this surprise conclusion supposed to make us feel good and go home without feeling depressed or disturbed  if so  the devils advocate messes up completely  and ironically  i felt more depressed because of the ending as is now  than i would have if it had ended ten minutes early  i went into the devils advocate expecting a shocking horror film  and that is exactly what i got  i was settled in to be disturbed mentally and emotionally  and that is what i got  but what was the most disturbing and horrible aspect of the movie is the poor ending  did i mention that i didnt like the ending    the producers of this film take you on a thrilling roller coaster ride and just as it is ending  they pull the rug out from under you  films like se7en and the usual suspects can survive with this surprise ending because it is expected  more or less  we know it is going to end in an unpredictable way  the devils advocate  on the other hand  ends unpredictably  not from us knowing a lot  but knowing nothing at all  if that is confusing  i recommend watching the film  and then reading that again  as for the film overall  i enjoyed the entire first two hours  being drawn in by a terrific character study and then adding the supernatural plot to increase the tension build from the character study  the film runs like a wellbuilt clock  slowly building until finally exploding with a highly charged climax  and an unpredictable one at that   and then you settle in for a nice resolution  which does not occur  it was at this point that i felt cheated  taking us on a terror ride of intrigue  we follow kevin lomax around  as he is the centerpiece of the film  everything occurs from his perspective  he is our representation on screen  sort of   but we are forced to witness a conclusion which makes most of the film seem like a game  i dont want to spoil the ending  so all i can say is go see the film and decide for yourself  perhaps the most shocking thing about the devils advocate is the extreme amount of everything  it earned its r rating for a reason  there is plenty of nudity  sex  violence  gore  and then you have gore  violence  sex  and more nudity  this film really isnt subtle about anything  showing us everything  it actually surprises me that this film did not receive an nc17 rating  as it is quite harsh  however  the movie does have its merits  and nudity and sex are among those  i dont condone sex and nudity in films  but if its there  i might as well enjoy it  the biggest merit of this film is also the most interesting to watch  the confrontations between kevin lomax and john milton are entertaining  but what stands out amidst this extreme hatred is the decline of the wife  mary ann  portrayed by the extremely effective charlize theron  mary anns problems are incredibly intense  and i found myself wanting to witness her decline  this may sound uncaring  but i wanted to watch because i felt sorry for her  she is the most interesting character on the screen  who is forced into a world where she is not wanted  something the devils advocate contained actually shocked me for reasons other than extreme violence and nudity  especially for a film of this nature  the story actually has something to say about humanity  in one of the last scenes  john milton explains to kevin lomax the game god plays with his children  he is satan  of course   he comments that it is human nature to lust and loathe in vanity  then  god sets up rules which contradict human nature  this semireligious bashing is more humorous than frightening  what milton says is so true about our society that i found myself laughing out loud  partially thinking it was funny  but patially realizing it was true  these moral dilemmas are present throughout the devils advocate  giving it an added depth many films skip over in their writing  but im sure they came straight from the novel it was based on   when a film has something to say about our society  it deserves to be watched  the cast of the devils advocate is one of the highlights  as we see memorable faces  and they put spins on those memorable faces we dont expect  heather matarazzo makes a brief appearance as the terrorized victim in the opening court case  and she does a great job  probably the big surprise of this film is keanu reeves  he has proven himself an uneven actor  successes such as speed and bombs such as johnny mnemonic   but he tops himself with this performance  i have never seen him more believable to date  al pacino is of course the scene stealer  his devilish performance is equal to those of jack nicholson  the witches of eastwick  and max von sydow  needful things   he could have easily gone too far over the top in many scenes  but he remains completely believable  if that is the correct term   jeffrey jones  mostly known as the principal in ferris buellers day off  also gives a good performance as eddie barzoon  judith ivey manages a credible performance as the mother who holds a secret to kevins past  connie nielson is very effective in her role  and she also appears naked several times  one familiar face with a twist was  coach  star  craig t  nelson  who gives a very good performance  the devils advocate is rated r for sexuality  nudity  violence  language  and some gore  at 144 minutes  this film moves along fairly quickly  for the first two hours  i sat completely engaged in the good performances and strong characters  the technical quality is also remarkable  with great special effects and a good musical score  director taylor hackford has managed to create a very disturbing motion picture  only to ruin a good chunk of tension with the final fifteen minutes  i guess my biggest problem with the ending is the fact that i went into the theater expecting a disturbing film  and hackford gave me just that for a long time  but just before the end  he got jitterish and relied on the hollywood safety net in order to make his film more mainstream  personally  i would have preferred it ending fifteen minutes early  
pos	ingredients  downonhisluck evangelist  church synopsis  sonny dewey  robert duvall  is a tireless texas pentecostal preacher who unexpectedly catches his wife  farrah fawcett  in bed with another guy  in a regrettable crime of passion he takes a baseball bat to the guys head  and suddenly finds himself a fugitive for murder  and estranged from his wife and two kids  to atone for his sins  sonny flees to a rural bayou town in louisiana and baptizes himself as a new creature   the apostle e  f  as the apostle e  f  sonnys main mission is to revive an abandoned church community and preach the gospel at the local radio station  soon he sets about resurrecting the one way road to heaven holiness temple  but sonny knows his time is short  one day the police will find him  opinion  this movie is a thoughtprovoking look at an evangelist in real life terms  i believe that robert duvall  who is the producer  director  writer  and main star of the apostle  deserves an oscar for his performance as sonny the religious crusader   a performance which is so complex and realistic it ranks as one of the finest acting performances on film  duvalls portrayal of a true believer is authentic  superb  and inspired  it offers the audience a completely honest look at southern religion  as well as a portrait of a fallible  complicated man driven by his beliefs  incidentally  in real life duvall was just as driven in getting the project underway  since no major hollywood studio wanted to risk financing a complex movie about an evangelist  the apostle as a project lay dormant for almost 13 years before duvall was able to get it done  paying for its production with his own money  about five million dollars   in terms of hardhitting realism and character portrayal the apostle would rank as one of the best movies of this decade  and i emphatically recommend the apostle for connoisseurs of stage and fine acting on film  similarly  those with a steep background in pentecostal christianity would find the apostle a thoughtprovoking experience  on the other hand  the apostles main strength   duvalls preaching   is also what limits the apostles target audience  in terms of plot and pure entertainment value  the apostle is definitely not for everyone  teenagers  action fans  comedy fans  and people who find church completely boring should stay far away from this movie  since three quarters of the film is watching sonny preach at church  in other words  the apostle is a four star performance  but with a very limited audience  
pos	the most amazing thing about paul coxs innocence is how unlike a movie it is  i mean that as the highest compliment  if most studios were to profile an elderly couple who rekindle a 40yearold romance  id want to run and hide  the sex scenes would be handled as a farce  producers would shed 20 years off the characters ages  so susan sarandon and harrison ford could star  and true love would shine through any obstacle without explanation and consequence  along with a charming romantic story  the australianbelgian innocence shows how an increasing sense of mortality combined with revisiting the past while being entrenched in the present can make something that seems so right seem downright questionable  the romance gets started when former musician andreas  charles  bud  tingwell   learns that his true love  claire  julia blake   lives nearby  they decide to catch up on old times  but soon find themselves in a reinvigorating affair  complicating matters is andreas frail health  and claires longtime husband  terry norris   who cant understand why hes suddenly become obsolete  in my mind  the movie is less about the relationship between andreas and claire  than the feelings of everyone involved  john  claires husband  endlessly questions what he did wrong  claire initially insists shes a grownup  but admittedly behaves like a child  a prospect that thrills and disappoints her  andreas  an agnostic  begins to question his fate  a message cox delivers in a memorable dream sequence  cox litters the movie with flashbacks  including the repeated vision of a roaring train  its a reminder of andreas and claires past love  as young lovers  they met by train   but as it recurs  we get the feeling that the past and the present have clashed  a pall is cast on the whole affair  a master of the understated  cox strings together a series of memorable moments  in andreas dream sequence  amidst the roar of the train and conversations  we get the whole picture of andreas and claires love  we also get glimpses into john and claires relationship  during a silent candlelit dinner shortly afterward  claire admits to john about her indiscretion  telling more than any monologue could  all thats heard is the scraping of forks against plates  the characters are unlike anything ive seen  theyre people  so many times  movies and especially television portray senior citizens as gratingly spunky  or theyre reduced to comedic buffoons  ordinary people with a pile of emotions  claire and andreas arent sure what the next step is  they do want to be happy  which consists of an entirely different set of conditions than what theyve known throughout their adult lives  bravo to cox  who wrote the script  for not making john a monster  so that claires affair is automatically justified  norris is so effective as john that he makes andreas and claires love difficult to accept  we feel for him  hes a decent man  sure  he may have become complacent  but he never expected this  especially now  with so much presented to the audience  its only expected that the material gets a little drawn out and repetitive  which it does  however  in bringing up tough questions and not offering easy answers  cox displays a skill and  lan isnt likely to be surpassed by anyone anytime soon  
pos	contact is a film that tries to do several different things  it is intended to present a realistic picture of what alien contact might be like  to restore a sense of wonder and mystery to the issue of extraterrestrial life  to raise questions about science and faith and how they would be relevant in such a situation  and to tell a personal story of a romance between the astronomer dr  ellie arroway  jodie foster  and the religious spokesman palmer joss  matthew mcconaughey   the film succeeds wonderfully at its first two goals  the portrayal of the communication from an alien world is much more reasonable  albeit less immediately engaging  than  say  the coldblooded destructiveness of the invaders in independence day or even the complex process of abductions and genetic hybridization that forms the ongoing plot line of tvs the xfiles  the aliens in contact seem to be like usthey are more curious than anything else  they know we exist  they want us to know that they exist  and they would like to make the next step and communicate in person  the film wisely refrains from showing us the aliens directly  and between the characters ongoing speculation about the extraterrestrials and the outstanding visuals in the climactic yet enigmatic scene when arroway arrives on the alien world  that sense of wonder and mystery comes through with a force rarely seen since stanley kubricks 2001  a space odyssey  most of the film  however  takes place on earth  where there is an extended public debate on how to respond to these aliens  scientists are enthusiastic  ultraconservative religious leaders are wary  and government officials are caught somewhere in between  the debate is fueled largely by dr  arroways atheism  she seems the obvious choice to pilot the spacecraft for which the aliens have provided blueprints  but many are wary of sending an atheist as humankinds representative to another species  the film is partly successful in raising and exploring these questions  especially when it reaches a conclusion that suggests that the two approaches  science and faith  could be viewed as complementary rather than diametrically opposed  still  the film falls a little short in its representation of this conflict as it exists in american society  the two  sides  are represented primarily by arroway and by farright fundamentalists  but in reality probably 80 of americans are neither atheists nor farright fundamentalists  palmer joss occupies something of a middle ground  but he ultimately becomes distracted by personal motives and comes across as a lessthanideal spokesman for any ideology  then again  the film does concentrate mostly on public debate  which does  after all  tend to be dominated by extremists  rather than on dinnertable or collegedormitory discussions  contact is accurate in its portrayal of these issues  then  but only within the narrow scope to which it confines itself  the films one clear failure is in the portrayal of the romance between arroway and joss  for one thing  it resorts to the tired movie clich  that two attractive people will immediately fall in love as soon as they appear on the screen together  as there does not seem to be any other reason for their instant mutual attraction  the romance rarely  if ever  sheds any light on the characters  although it occasionally tries and fails  josss explanation that he quit the priesthood because of the celibacy requirement   i guess you could say im a man of the cloth  but without the cloth    for example  is more like a punchline to a joke than character development  instead  the romance mostly seems to exist for the sake of later plot developments  granted  this is a plot and ideadriven film and the characters are secondary  but this just seemed like laziness on the writers part more than anything else  the successes of contact  however  far outweigh its failures  even if the social commentary had fizzled altogether  which it didnt   the simple yet mysterious story of alien communication still would have made it a memorable film  contact doesnt quite cover all the bases  but it covers about as much as one could hope for in a twohour film  and its rejection of bigbudget theatrics for a more realistic story is certainly admirable  and i would not be surprised if  ten years from now  contact is mentioned in the same breath as 2001 and blade runner as one of the finest examples of sophisticated and intellectually relevant science fiction  
pos	billy bob thornton  who had a sudden rise to fame with 1996s sling blade after spending years as a virtually unknown actor and writer  is becoming one of the most versatile  and most accomplished  american actors around at the moment  as jacob  the simple but at times very bright loser brother of bill paxtons hank  thornton gives a performance which should leave an indelible mark on all but the most hardened viewers  three men  hank  paxton   jacob  thornton  and their friend lou  brent briscoe  stumble upon a plane wreck which  upon closer inspection  yields a rotting corpse and a bag full of money  jacob and lou want to pocket the cash  hank  the smarter  and perhaps more naive  of the three  insists on leaving the money for the authorities to find  eventually  they agree to keep the cash safe until the plane is found  and then split the money three ways  things start going wrong  though  with greed and violence weaving their ways through their plan  disaster is sure to strike  director sam raimi  of the evil dead and darkman fame  has made an excellent and thoughtprovoking film  worlds away from the comic horror films which made his name  while there are a couple of moments which might remind one of his earlier work  raimi has made an intelligent and mature departure which will hopefully be a sign of even greater films to come  scott b  smiths screenplay  based on his novel  which i havent read  is a fine example of escalating tension  while it does remind one of danny boyles shallow grave without the abundance of black humour  it keeps the drama that should really be a part of such a story on morality  or the lack thereof  found in a film with this subject matter  alar kivilos cinematography reminds one of joel and ethan coens fargo  with the bleak  snowy landscape almost becoming another character  danny elfman also does well with his moody  finelywritten score  if theres a flaw in the film  its that it goes on for just a little too long  just when we think that they are about to wrap things up  raimi and smith decide to let the film go on a little further  while this isnt really a bad thing  it did become a little frustrating at times  this may have been due to the fact that i had consumed a large sprite beforehand   the performances are excellent  with the usually annoying paxton in fine form and bridget fonda giving a scenestealing turn as hanks scheming wife  this is an excellent showcase for thorntons fine skills as an actor and a great change in direction for raimi  who could very well have a career ahead of him as an accomplished director of dramatic films  fingers crossed  though  that this doesnt stop him from making another evil dead sequel  
pos	tibet has entered the american consciousness slowly during the past few years and burst into the forefront recently  the dalai lama has made speaking tours  tibetan designs and artifacts are showing up in shops  the plight of the people has captured the imagination of major actors and artists and now there are two big budget films within as many months   kundun    presence   a name the monks call the young dalai lama  opens in 1937 with the search for the 14th incarnation of the tibetan leader  a group of monks enters a village and a twoyearold child catches their attention  the young boy proves himself by identifying possessions of the previous holy man as  mine   he and his family are then moved to a monastery in lhassa where he is to be prepared to take his position as the religious and political leader of the country  he is forced into difficult decisions when china invades the country in 1950  the peaceful and isolated country is illequipped to fight off the intruders and diplomatic attempts over the next years yield no results  eventually he must make the painful choice to flee to neighboring india  comparisons to  seven years in tibet  are inevitable  both films cover much of the same ground although the earlier movie does so from a westerners point of view and features boxoffice draw brad pitt   kundun  features only native actors and is more of an insiders story  in some ways  this makes this film a superior concept  but it lacks the movement and spark that made  seven years  such an audiencepleaser  the actors contribute to the realistic feel of the movie  filmed in morocco for obvious reasons   the only disappointment is chairman mao who looks like a wax dummy and moves as if he were a computergenerated character  on an intellectual level  it is interesting to see how two different approaches handle the same facts  some events are depicted differently and pitts austrian mountainclimber who was portrayed as a pivotal influence in the dalai lamas life isnt even mentioned here  glossed over in  seven years   the problems with the tibetan political system is hinted at here as the dalai lama muses  we were just about to change things  after the chinese attack  the film is magnificently beautiful thanks primarily to the cinematography of roger deakins  his lingering camera shows the exotic tibetan culture with luscious detail  especially striking is an extreme moving close up of a sand mandala grain by grain  the visual treats more than make up for the movies faults creating a poetic meditation for the audience  walking out of the theater you feel like you have awakened from a transcendental experience  martin scorsese  known for his dark tales of the underworld   goodfellas    taxi driver    casino   has shifted gears  something of a thematic followup to his  the last temptation of christ   this is his slowest film yet  oddly enough for a director with a history of graphic violence presenting a history filled with atrocities by the chinese  most of these events take place offscreen  his decision to not overexplain rituals is commendable  the stumbling oracle who spits out his prophecies while in a trance state is much more effective as a mystery than if we were spoonfed interpretations  philip glasss score is impressive although at times it is too overwhelming and distracting  i talked to a tibetan i met outside the theater who had just seen the film and was walking back in to see it again  hearing his description of how he escaped from tibet at the age of seven and how his father was one of the soldiers accompanying the dalai lama during his trip to india  i was struck by what was missing in the movie  as grand as it looks and as historically accurate as it is  there is a distance between the audience and the movie  the film is more concerned with visuals and history and less so with human beings  with the exception of a few scenes  involvement with the characters is slight  one of those exceptions is the portrayal of the young dalai lama  shown as a mischievous boy who cant resist being a kid sometimes  an encounter with his older brother thubten j  norbu  a retired indiana university professor  who tells the young leader the chinese have ordered him to persuade him to accept communist rule or kill him is an outstanding moment  but there arent many of these  even with its problems  the  kundun  experience is phenomenal  but one that i fear most will miss  many people who saw  seven years in tibet  will have a  been there  done that  attitude  its likely that the film will miss a widespread appeal and public response will be the sound of one hand clapping  
pos	i swear i have seen the edge before  in fact  it reminded me of the bear  the river wild  and other various films mixed into an entirely different film  however  the edge has done something that most action films should do  and that is add heart and characters we like to the plot  in doing so  the edge draws many more suspenseful moments out of cliched scenes than  say  the peacemaker  unfortunately  because of those overused moments  we can pretty much guess the outcome of the film  but leave it to screenwriter david mamet to add humor and a few surprises to mess with your head  one surprise  in particular  left me smiling just because mamet actually had the guts to add it to his script  action films are a dime a dozen in hollywood  and while they are somewhat successful at entertaining us  they lack the one thing which would make them a more respected genre  intelligence  even horror films have learned this  a genre which is probably the least respected of them all  the river wild was one of the best actionsuspense films i have seen from the 90s  the intelligence of the screenplay  and the suspense drawn from the realistic characters is nearly unmatched to this day  the edge has the intelligence and smart characters  but this time the lack of originality is the downfall  i must admit that it was very suspenseful  and had an original third half  but the first hour and a half is riddled with cliches and plot holes  this is an example of the final act saving the film  instead of the other way around  as in the lost world   if only the screenplay had maintained the final thirty minutes intensity  it could have become a great action film  and i use the term loosely   the edge is pretty much a survivalofthefittest film  but taking screams lead  the edge makes fun of the genres cliches  and then uses them  though not quite as effectively   charles morse  anthony hopkins  is the main character  a rich and very intelligent man who wonders what the accumulation of all this knowledge has brought to him  for once  we dont immediately care for the main character  instead  we like bob  alec baldwin   a photographer who is going to take pictures of charles wife  mickey  elle macpherson   out in the wilderness  they board a plane and head to a cabin somewhere in the arctic  charles birthday is the same day  and he receives a gold watch from his wife  and a pocket knife from bob  as action films go  these items do have importance to the rest of the story  but quite a bit more than we first expect  soon  however  bob wants to find a native to shoot pictures of because of his  personality   charles  bob  bobs assistant steve  harold perrineau   and the pilot head off to find him  and as shown in the previews  hit a flock of birds flying south for the winter  down the plane goes  the pilot is killed  and the three are left to survive in the wilderness  director lee tamahori is aware of the silly plot which is about to follow  and therefore has to create original ways to approach the situations  he succeeds often enough for us to enjoy the film  take  for instance  the entire manhunting bear plot  this has been done many times in films with different animals  and even bears  but given the charles intelligence  and bobs uncertainty  many of the cliches are given fresh twists  even charles himself seems to have seen these action films before  my favorite line of the film comes from charles   most people die in the wilderness because they didnt do the one thing that could save their life    thinking   despite the predictability of the main plot  a subplot develops late in the film which took me by surprise  and made me smile when i realized that everything isnt as it seems anymore  i have to write cautiously as to not reveal this surprise  so instead i will avoid it entirely  the first twothirds of the edge have many humorous moments to push it along  and some of charles survival techniques seem possible  even making fire from ice  tamahori is able to create a lot of suspense from the stalking bear  but whenever the bear is present  the characters lose all sensibility  i have always wondered why characters in films walk over a log to get across water  why not do what an intelligent person would and crawl across  i guess getting chased by a bear makes your thought process turn off for a while  thankfully  we already have begun to care for the characters  and so we let this small detail slide  but some of the technical details are awkward  such as the nice stitching done on the fur coat that charles and bob make  where did they get thread and needles    the acting of the film is highly above average for a film of this nature  and borders on phenomenal  anthony hopkins gives a terrific performance  creating his most likeable and layered character since remains of the day  hopkins usually brings greatness to his roles  but here he exceeds at gaining the audiences sympathy  something he definitely did not do in silence of the lambs  alec baldwin gives one of his best performances i have ever seen  it sure is better from his fair game   baldwin can be a good or a bad character  and here he succeeds at both in a way  you can never quite guess if he is a nice or a vllainous character until the end  and baldwin is able to handle the doublenatured photographer  elle macpherson gives a good performance  albeit slight  she isnt in the film all that much  but for the scenes she does have  she handles as an actress  not as a model  harold perrineau is a good actor  and his scenes are nice and underplayed  he is eliminated early  and i reveal nothing by saying this because it is inevitable and predictable  the edge is rated r for graphic violence  some gore  and language  some of the violence is a little too disturbing  even for me  this film is a nice change from the mindless action most of us are used to  but too many cliches bog it down  director tamahori has created a very smooth and suspenseful action film out of recycled parts  david mamets script  though  has a lot of humor to keep the first hour afloat  and the acting is solid  the best thing about the script is the ending which doesnt end with the normal highstrung action sequence  but with a small detail involving a certain gift  its a nice touch considering what we have had to go through with the bear  and by the way  most people laughed when the film faded to black due to a large credit to bart the bear  way to go  bart  
pos	one of the more unusual and suggestively violent films ever made   se7en  is just a few steps away from brilliance  however  those few steps away are only a few steps from a level of evil and depravity that few people want to discuss  the film received mixed reviews upon release  but theres an underlying sinister appeal and intrigue to this that many critics perhaps did not notice  at times it gets preachy about the horrors it seems to be criticizing  but the script and the ultimate payoff are excellent  the shocking conclusion is just as unpredictable as the endings of most films are predictable  this piece of work is 100 intensity  its uncomfortable to watch  yet compelling   i want not to look  yet i cannot turn away   the story creeps along slowly and deliberately  crafted by visionary director david fincher  he has experience in tantalizing his audience with information and visions  but not giving away too much too soon  this is the guy who directed the ominous  alien 3    se7en  is even more ominous because the threat is real  its human and  while the script takes some artistic licence  the way in which the diabolical killer works here is actually realistic  that is  if a human being could be so intelligent  patient  wealthy  and disillusioned  after the most bizarre opening credits ive ever seen  refreshingly different in editing style and musical accompaniment   the initial character development takes place  morgan freeman stars as detective william somerset  a knowledgeable veteran who is ready to give up on his job and the sickness of society  brad pitt costars as detective david mills  the young hotshot who is brand new to this unnamed city and full of fury to catch the bad guys  these two fine actors give the film its human qualities  along with the appealing gwyneth paltrow  who plays tracy  mills wife   however  none of them stands out above the material  no disrespect intended  but two other actors could have played these parts and the film probably would have been about the same  an ironic note is that somerset has only a week  or 7  thats seven  days  left on the force to train his young protege  the title of the picture also refers to the 7 deadly sins  as chronicled by john milton in  paradise lost  gluttony  greed  sloth  lust  pride  envy   wrath  incidentally  i wrote the sins in order of how each victim was found  its the last two sins that are the most intriguing and shocking  but i wont give that away  as i said  this has a great ending and no one should spoil it  anyway  the brilliant killer sets out to make a statement to the world that these sins will no longer be tolerated and he makes the  sinners  suffer for it  the two partners stumble over the corpse of a grotesquely obese man  they learn that he was murderedforced to eat himself to death  the killer leaves small clues at this and other murders and  of course  somerset and mills are smart enough to stay with him all the way  if they didnt  it would be one short movie  the deliberate pace allows for craftsmanship of detail and story  we see a lot of blood  but its not especially violent  the suggestion of what happens is far more disgusting than anything actually shownlike most of the violence in  pulp fiction    se7en  is gory  graphic  and disturbing  but all the gore is postdeath  still  if you tend to get queasy  dont eat food during this film  kevin spacey plays john doe  the avenging angel who claims that hes the messenger who will right the wrongs with his teachings  like many crazy men  he has some fine ideas  but some sick ways of expressing himself  spacey doesnt appear until the final 30 minutes and also doesnt receive billing in the opening credits  however  its his appearance that turns this film upside down and for that he should have gotten an oscar nomination  a great villain manages to make you either root for him or feel compelled to listen to his ramblings regardless of whether you agree with him or not  this character is so well written that its hard to disagree when he says that what he is doing will be remembered by everyone  no serial killer has ever been so creative   se7en  is blatantly unsubtle with its messages about the horrors of the world and its often a little too depressing  what it lacks in those areas  it makes up for with believable dialogue  topnotch screenwriting  unexpected twists  and realistic characters  the technical aspects of the film are unobtrusive  fincher uses lighting  music  and editing quite well  but his story is always the thrust of the film  fortunately  we dont find out what happens to mills and somerset after the closing credits  which are run backwards up the screen    its better to imagine what paths they will follow  this is not the kind of film you turn away from and quickly forget  its got a sinister message and john doe is right about one thingthe evils of the world arent going to cure themselves   se7en  raises some tough questions and its intelligent enough to allow its audience to answer many of those questions for themselves  useless triviacostars in 1995s  se7en   brad pitt and kevin spacey also competed for the 1995 best supporting actor oscarpitt in  12 monkeys   spacey in  the usual suspects   for which he won   
pos	there are some works of art that are almost impossible to review  not because of their own complexity  but because of their legendary status which prevents the reviewer to say anything original  one of such masterpieces is casablanca  probably not the best film in the history of the seventh art  but definitely the most popular one  its popularity can be measured not in a multitude of more or less disguised remakes that were made in more than half a century since its premiere  but also in countless tributes and references that movie makers use in their works to this day  casablanca is also a movie that has the very rare virtue of both being praised by the critics and loved by general audience  one of the things that makes this film even more unique was the fact that it was doomed to fail  at least judging by conventional moviemaking wisdom of its time  it was based on a broadway play so mediocre that it hadnt been produced on stage  screenplay by three writers  julius g  epstein  philip j  epstein and howard koch  was beeing written as shooting went along  the main actors were producers second choice  and  finally  man behind camera  michael curtiz was considered to be capable  but not great director  however  the movie was commercially successful and earned three  oscars   including the one for the best film  until this very day  it is considered to be the best example of hollywood film making in its own golden age  the plot of the movie was heavily influenced by the needs of ww2 propaganda  yet it also used rather complicated and now almost forgotten political circumstances of that global conflict in order to make intriguing story  in december 1941  casablanca  exotic port on the atlantic coast of north africa is controlled by officially neutral  yet nazicollaborating french vichy government  thousands of refugees from wartorn europe are stuck there on the way to lisbon and safety of america  and ready to pay any price for precious exit visas  many shady characters thrive on their misery  including the corrupt police chief  captain renault  rains   his best friend is rick blaine  bogart   who used to be idealistic antifascist  and now owns popular night club in casablanca and lives by his own cynical philosophy of  sticking his neck for nobody   however  everything changes when he gets in possession of two precious extra visas  this event coincides with the arrival of two new refugees to casablanca  one of them is victor laszlo  henreid   czech resistance leader who escaped three times from nazi concentration camps and became the legend of enslaved europe  he is accompanied by his beautiful wife ilsa lund  bergman   with whom rick had a stormy affair in the eve of nazi occupation of paris  the couple needs visas  especially because of the gestapo major strasser  veidt  being on their trail  rick is now forced to choose between love  wounded pride  selfpreserving interest and his own hatred of fascism  the casting for this movie seems influenced by divine inspiration  humphrey bogart  most legendary actor in the history of cinema  is one of the rare character actors who elevated his persona to the star status  bogarts portrayal of rick as complicated man  torn between idealistic past and bitter present  was so perfect  that his icon would forever be connected with that character  another icon in his company is ingrid bergman  great actress of old hollywood  here in her artistic and visual prime  the cinematic coupling of bogart and bergman became one of the main symbols of that era of filmmaking  some happier times when the romance on the screen didnt look childish nor trite like in some more contemporary works  for many people  casablanca is probably the best romantic film ever made  but the reason for that isnt the romance itself  its the realistic story of people forced to make tough  and often wrong choices in their life  the casting of casablanca was right on target not just in a case of main leads  the supporting actors also did a marvellous job  sidney longstreet and peter lorre were here mainly to give a mystic flavour spotted in a previous bogart classic  john hustons maltese falcon  yet both of them managed to portray colourful and original characters  another shining example of good casting is now almost forgotten paul henreid as the weakest part of love triangle  character of victor laszlo has believable charisma and looks like a somebody who could inspire millions of people to rise against nazi tiranny  unfortunately  the charisma that burdened laszlo  leaves little place for difficult choice  making his character forever overshadowed by rickilsa coupling  however  rick and ilsa actually have a serious competiton for most memorable character in casablanca  captain renault  brilliantly portrayed by claude rains in a role of a lifetime  was embodiment of perfect  almost unmatched balance between ethical corruption and physical charm  despite being the undoubtful villain in almost entire movie  rains managed to make renault sympathetic character  and his final conversion to the side of good  symbolized in not so subtle gesture at the end of movie looked unnecessary  rains also gave another dimension to the movie  making it even more ambiguous  people who like to analyse movies to death discovered signs of homosexuality in renaults relationship towards rick  and ricks final words leave room for even more outrageous speculations  together with welldrawn characters and exciting story  the movie was good in creating his own atmosphere  professional nitpickers would probably have a field day in discovering numerous historical and geographical inaccuracies  but casablanca is still a shining example of hollywood ww2 movie that is beliavable  if not realistic  any way  even if we dont see it as a historical document  casablanca is movie that can be source of entertainment as well as infinite inspiration  
pos	like the great musical pieces of mozart himself  amadeus is a true work of art  it is one of those few movies of the 80s that will be known for its class  its style  and its intelligence  why is this such a good film  there are almost too many reasons to explain  the story  court composer salieri  f  murray abraham  feels waves of different emotions going through his head as wolfgang amadeus mozart  tom hulce  comes into his life as the young genius composer  salieri feels envy  and jealousy  but at the same time is fascinated with mozarts brilliance and ingenious  we travel through mozarts life as a composer  through his struggles  his triumphs  and ultimately  his demise  the acting  abraham is magnificient as salieri  his acting range enables him to focus on each individual emotion and express it through his speech and body language  this performance earned him a well deserved oscar  tom hulce is interesting as well as mozart  a quirky  annoying bratty kid with an annoying laugh  hes strong  but weak at the same time  and must be aided by his wife  elizabeth berridge   who is good in her role  but lacks dramatic depth  jeffrey jones  in a smaller  more dignified role than such roles in stay tuned and mom and dad save the world  is cast perfectly because of his noble charm  the movie  every element of this movie works  the costumes and makeup are very memorable  as well as its stunning art direction  and unforgettable scores  adapted from mozarts original music   while wolfgang amadeus mozart was a genius at music  milos forman proves with his film that he is a genius of filmmaking  this movie is a classic that will be remembered for years to come  ad2am  i almost lost my nose    and i like it  i like breathing through it   jack nicholson  chinatown 
pos	armageddon  in itself  symbolizes everything that is wrong in modern filmmaking  stories have been replaced with special effects  character development gets overshadowed by bad dialogue  plotting consists of a bunch of shit getting blown up  armageddon is as stupid  as loud and as shallow as any movie youll see come out this summer  or maybe even any other summer  but i loved every freaking minute of it  believe me  im just as shocked as you are  hell  i dont even know why i went to see it in the first place  the previews were so annoying that i predicted this was going to be the worst film of the year  or at least in the running  im sorry  but  somebody dial 911     isnt quite the tagging thats going to sell a movie  it isnt too wise either to market the film using the movies stupidest lines   beam me up scotty   yeah  that sure is great writing      i mean  lets face it  armageddons previews rival the truman shows as being some of the worst of the year  neither of them even come close to doing their respective films justice  of course  you all know the story  when the earth is threatened with total annihilation via an asteroid the size of texas  nasa calls in the uss top oil drillers    to go into space    and implant a nuclear device eighthundred and someodd feet into the asteroid     in the coarse of all this mayhem  we are introduced to some interesting  and not so interesting  characters  belonging to the former group is rockhound  steve buscemi   a horny little womanizing genius whos always full of wisecracks  even when flying into space at a huge amount of gs  also  theres the always coolashell billy bob thornton as dan truman  the bigwig at nasa who recruits all the drillers  he kind of reminded me of ed harris in apollo 13  only without the intensity and great lines to deliver  then on the flip side of the coin is the tired  contrived character of harry stamper  bruce willis  who does the whole movie employing with annoying accent i cant quite place   the leader of the pack as well as liv tyler and ben affleck as the token lovers you must have in any summer movie  basically  thats about it  as i said  this is hardly a film about plot  its another summer blockbuster with plot points that are beyond unbelievable and dialogue and characters that are mostly completely wooden  case in point  nasa doesnt know that there is even an asteroid on its way until eighteen days before impact  huh  another example  at one point in the movie  two children are playing with toy space shuttles in front of a poster of kennedy  how pretentious is that       want another one  okay  before the oil drillers blast off into space  one of them starts singing  leaving on a jet plane   and soon  all the rest join in  did michael bay attend the school of sappy filmmaking before he made this picture  but naturally  all this sappiness  melodrama and special effects accumulate to one bitchin time at the movies  and dont get me wrong  despite all of the things i found wrong with armageddon  i still very much enjoyed it  so even if you dont win one of mcdonalds free tickets  its still definitely worth checking out  
pos	this is one of the most funny and entertaining comedies of the year and it just happens to be animated  there are some great voice over commentaries from hollywoods most famous celebrities  some fabulous animation and a compelling story  this is the best weve seen from disney since  beauty and the beast   1996   this film begins an unspecified time following the happilyeverafter conclusion to toy story  in the aftermath of their earlier adventures  buzz  voice of tim allen  and woody  voice of tom hanks  are now fast friends and all the toys live in perfect harmony  content with their  lives   one day  andy broke woodys arm off  while playing with him  woody is now officially discarged and worthless  left with his nightmares  where he lies in a trash can with the other discards  later andys mother decides to have a yard sale  and she collects a few old toys from her sons room  since one of these discards is a member of the moving toy gang  woody goes to the rescue  leaving the safety of the house for the uncertainty of the front lawn in order to bring the toy back  although his mission is successful  he is placed in a serious predicament when a toy collector named al  voice of wayne knight  spies woody while hunting through the wares available at the sale  the cowboy toy represents the final collectible needed to complete his collection of merchandise from the old tv series   woodys roundup   if he can acquire woody  al can ship everything to a toy museum in japan for a huge profit  so  after andys mother refuses to sell the wooden cowboy  al steals him  and its up to the other toys  led by buzz  to go into the city to save their friend  and so  buzz  rex  voice of wallace shawn   hamm  voice of john ratzenberger   mr  potatohead  voice of don rickles   and slinky  voice of jim varney   go out on a dangerous journey to rescue their friend  they find themselves confronting things like busy streets and other buzz lightyear toys  there are car chases  gun fights and finally the confrontation between buzz and his nemesis  who  by the way  resembles darth vader   meanwhile  woody learns that he was once a tv celebrity and has a family  a cowgirl named jessie  voice of joan cusack   a horse named bullseye  and a father figure called the prospector  voice of kelsey grammar   they offer him another life  as a celebrity  a toy in a museum in japan  he is now forced to choose between being loved intensively by andy for a little while  before he grows up  and be forgotten  or be admired by children for generations  the problem is  if woody escapes from als clutches and returns home  they will end up back in the lonely darkness of storage  a real effort is made in the technical department  the animation is rich and colorful  with lots of wonderful details  the  cinematography  is also extremely improved since toy story  there are a lot of complicated swings  turns and closeups that really make an impression  lighting and filters are used to create a mood  as in a surprisingly emotional moment  jessies remembrance of her days when she was a beloved toy  the film contains a lot of inside jokes  such as the one about videogames   and entertaining parodies on  jurassic park  and  star wars   the film ends with the  failed takes   the kind of scenes that we are used to see after comedy shows on tv  these outtakes are some of the funniest scenes in the film  but what in the end makes  toy story 2  a memorable experience is not the jokes  its multiple parodies or marvelous animation  it is its heart and emotions  the story about the meaning of friendship  love and even life itself  it is not difficult to predict that  toy story 2  would be a huge economical success  but its artistic achievement was unexpected  unexpected because the first film wasnt much more than a demonstration of special effects  but mostly it was unexpected because disney hasnt produced anything spectacular in years and is constantly surpassed by companies such as dreamworks and warner brs  but here the director has changed the atmosphere of the film  making it more accessible and interesting for persons older that 9 years  this is a big stepaway from the ancient laws of disneyanimation  off course  this is not  antz   it is not as intelligent  this is not a landmark and no masterpiece  but i promise that youll find it as funny and enjoyable as i have  whether this is the best animated film of the year  i dare not say  my choice would probably be  the iron giant   but  along side with  american pie   this is the comedy of the year  i almost lost my hopes for disney  but  toy story 2  proves that disney hasnt lost their ability to entertain  
pos	not too many people know who james whale is  but its a safe bet that a good chunk of them have seen his movies  if we are to believe the semi biographical gods and monsters  whale would have wanted it to be that way  this is an insightful  haunting exploration of the last days of the frankenstein and bride of frankenstein director  and it is notable for introducing one of the first complicated gay characters in a hollywood movie  gods and monsters has no interest in being a biopic of whales life because it tracks only the final few days of his life  and its probably a better movie for it  its focus is on whales  ian mckellen  untraditional and deceptive lust for heterosexual gardener clayton boone  brendan fraser   it begins with whale  a fairly talented artist  aside from being a director  asking boone to  sit for him    pose for a portrait   at first  boone doesnt realize that whale is gay and grows fascinated with the old man  when he does discover whales sexual orientation from his dedicated and protective maid  lynn redgrave   he is frightened  refusing to sit for the guy  but he comes back  only to storm out again  disgusted with whales  locker room talk   boone returns yet another time  after whale promises to tone down the aforementioned  locker room talk   and finds their platonic relationship to be strengthening  meanwhile  jimmy himself is suffering from hallucinations and mental attacks as a result of his stroke not long ago  his ailment leads to desperation and depression  which build to the point where he is forced to ask boone for an incredulously big favor  what is perhaps most sensational about gods and monsters is brendan frasers bravura performance  up until seeing this film i intensely disliked the young actor because of his tendency to ruin the movies he is in  blast from the past  for example   i was surprised how expressive an actor he proved himself to be here  this is impressive because his characters dialogue is minimal  with mckellan doing most of the talking  that requires fraser to act through body language  a difficult skill to master  but something he proves capable of doing well  this is not to ignore mckellans oscar nominated turn  he earned that nomination with his touching performance here  although  at the risk of sounding like a philistine  i would have chosen his performance as the nazi in apt pupil for the nomination   an understated  compelling gem  whale dreaded being remembered solely for his work in the hollywood horror genre  and he thought hollywood to be the equivalent of a battlefield  he rejoiced in being free from it  only reluctantly going to receptions with fellow movie people  in the end  perhaps  it is what killed him  the memories of hollywood and war blending together to form a living nightmare   1999 eugene novikov137  
pos	when i initially set out to review this film  my tag line was going to be  you too can believe whales can fly   then it was going to be  you too can believe pastel triangles can fly   then  it was going to be  you too can believe wood sprites can fly   finally  i just gave up trying to come up with a tag line and decided to say    theres a lot of flying going on in this film  as our first host steve martin tells us  the original concept behind fantasia was to bring it out every year with some old segments retained and some new segments added in  well apparently that plan fell by the wayside for a while  because approximately sixty years have passed since the original classic was released  part of this might have something to do with the cold reception the film got when it was first released in 1940  grossing somewhere close to 110  000 in its original month of release   subsequent rereleases of the film have elevated the popularity of the film to the classic status it has finally achieved  and rightfully deserved   to celebrate the release of an updated version of fantasia  disney and imax teamed up to present the animated film in a fashion no one had seen before  six stories high  in an exclusive four month engagement  from january 1st to april 30th  2000   fantasia 2000 can be seen at many imax theaters across the us  after the engagement is over  the film will be shown at regular theaters  is the format effective for the film  with a few exceptions  yes  the first segment we are presented with is set to beethovens fifth symphony  its hard to describe exactly what this segment is about  but it involves a bunch of brightly colored butterfly looking triangles flitting about happily  everything seems to be going great for these little things until the ground erupts with swarms of evil  black batlike triangles that attack and engulf their lighter counterparts  eventually  shafts of light from above help drive away the evil batlike things and peace returns to the butterfly things  though this segment isnt very story driven  some of the images are very visually strong  especially the scene in which the dark cloud of bat things  who are all outlined in blood red colors  begin to overtake the skies  the next segment is set to ottorino respighis  the pines of rome   in this segment  some humpback whales swim happily through the ocean and eventually emerge from the water and fly around the massive icebergs that pepper the oceanscape  a whale calf gets into a scuffle with some nearby birds during the flight and ends up getting trapped in a giant iceberg he smashes into while trying to avoid the birds attack  he is finally saved  by another liberating shaft of light  and he and his brethren take to the skies and fly into the upper atmosphere where they frolic in the  oceans  of clouds  again  visuals are the key with this segment  especially where the whales are involved  reportedly the whales  as viewed on an imax screen in certain sequences  are shown as actual size  the cgi whales look incredibly lifelike  except for some googly cartoon eyes drawn onto the images  one especially striking image involves the giant shadow of one of the whales being cast through the wall of an iceberg as the whale calf tries to find a way out to its parent  absolutely beautiful stuff  the third segment  and the least of the eight segments  is set to george gershwins  rhapsody in blue   this segment is designed as a tribute to acclaimed caricaturist al hirschfeld  and intertwines four different stories about sad souls living in depression era new york  theres a construction worker who dreams of being a jazz drummer  an outofwork sad sack that dreams of having a job  a young girl that dreams of spending time with her parents instead of being hustled off by a schoolmarm  and a nebbish who dreams of being free from his overbearing wife  i wont go into how everything works out  but in fine disney tradition there is a happy ending  unfortunately  the story drags quite a bit and the seems out of place within the hyper reality of the rest of the segments  segment four is set to dmitri shostakovichs  piano concerto no  2  and is an animated version of hans christian andersens  the steadfast tin soldier   a one legged toy tin soldier falls in love with a windup clock ballerina  whom he assumes is also one legged because he cant see her other leg extended out behind her   much to the dismay of an evil jackinthebox jester  the jester knocks the soldier out of a window and continues pursuing the ballerina  little does the jester know  the soldier has been deposited in the sewer and has journeyed through the pipelines only to be swallowed by a fish that has been captured and sold to the owner of the set of tin soldiers that the one legged one comes from  the soldier eventually saves the day and gets the girl  although the ending has been altered from the andersen story   the steadfast tin soldier  is decently told with in the framework of a seven minute short  some children may find the jester to be a little frightening  but otherwise the segment is well made  segment five is the funniest of the bunch  set to camille saintsaens  the carnival of the animals   this segment features a flamingo torturing his fellow flamingos with a yoyo while they are trying to perform a choreographed dance number  while it is the shortest clip of the group and a throwback to the alligators and hippos dancing in the first fantasia  it is still well accomplished and a welcome bit of comedy  segment six is the only segment to be repeated from the original 1940 fantasia  and its the one that people remember most   the sorcerers apprentice   the story is the most recognizable  so the draw here is seeing it on the enormous imax screen in remastered stereo  unfortunately  the segment wasnt made to be presented on large format film  considering it was shot full frame  and exhibits large amounts of grain  there were at least two occasions where images were very hard to make out due to the excessive grain  similar problems crop up on modern day releases when projected on screens too large for the image to be shown accurately  but no one seems to notice for some strange reason   an anomaly common to many 18plus screen theaters  segment seven is set to sir edward elgars  pomp and circumstance march no  1  and is the only other fantasia segment to feature a stock disney character  donald duck  stars  as an assistant to noah  whose task is loading all of the animals onto the ark  during the loading  donald and his wife lose sight of each other and both believe that the other one didnt make it on the boat  they are constantly missing each other due to comic misadventures mainly involving donald being crushed by animals in various manners  despite the slapstick style of comedy in this piece  it displays more emotion in its final scene than many of the tearjerkers foisted on audiences these days  powerful stuff  segment eight brings a whole new meaning to the clich   saving the best for last   set to igor stravinskys  the firebird   an elk awakens a forest sprite that proceeds to change the wintery landscape into a beautiful springtime landscape  trees bloom and flowers blossom and everything seems to be going well until the sprite becomes inquisitive about a large mountain housing a strange formation  when the sprite examines the formation  it awakens and becomes the titular firebird  in a stunning spectacle  the firebird rears back and unleashes and fire storm that destroys everything in its path  including everything that the sprite has worked to create  some amazing animation is present here  and well worth the ten dollars a ticket alone  although brush strokes are evident in one scene due to the enlargement of the film   the host segments are largely  no pun intended  throwaways  although steve martins clip is pretty funny  be sure to stay through the credits for a little more humor from martin  penn and teller are usually funny  but here their gags seem routine and therefore uninteresting  the best segment comes from  of all people  bette midler  who gets to tell us about some of the abandoned segments that never made it off of the drawing board  pieces like flight of the bumblebee  a take on the four horsemen set to wagners  ride of the valkyries   and a strange segment prepared in the 40s by salvador dali that never was shown are all previewed here and teased that they may appear in future installments  for fans of visual stimulation or classical music  fantasia 2000 is a perfect way to spend the afternoon  the film is also decent family entertainment and contains little to no objectionable material  as i mentioned earlier in the review  if ten dollars seems like too much for you to spend on this film  fear not because after its run in imax theaters it is going to be brought out in regular theaters  i must stress that the best way to see this film is on an imax screen though  then you too can believe that whalestriangle thingssprites can fly  g 
pos	its tough to really say something nice about a type of person whos so ethnocentric that any humanity they once had is now gone  but by god   american history x  does it  and for that  i commend it  it not only takes balls but intelligence to make a human being out of a neonazi skinhead  a kind of person who dedicates their lives to hating anyone whos not what they are  and this film wisely and miracurously pulls it off  the subject of this film is one of them  but he is worse than one of the blind followers that make up most skinhead members since he is the leader of the pack  hes the one who instigates them to take a firm grip onto their rage  and then in another brilliant stroke  justifies it with political propoganda that makes eerie sense when he speaks  hes so utterly convincing as a public speaker and so firm in his convictions that it comes as a shock when he actually goes through the rehabilitation process  his name is derek vinyard  and hes played by edward norton with so much fire and intensity that when he speaks hes almost as convincing and arresting a public speaker as  say  malcom x  when we first see him  hes clean shaven  with a jet black swastica emrboidered on his left breast  a devlish goatee  and hes attacking the black carjackers outside of his house dressed in nothing but his white boxers and carrying a handgun in his hand that never seems to run out of bullets  at least when he doesnt need them  he so believes in his convictions that hes willing to put his beliefs to the test  even if he knows it will mean a stop in prison  if only for a couple years   american history x  is about derek  how he became a neonazi skinhead  how he rose to power  how he was rehabilitated in prison after murdering two black men in a fit of rage that was less to do with the stealing of his car and more to do with proving himself  and how he tried to save others  namely his younger brother  from making the same mistake  we see him at all of these stages  as a smart teenager  a vicious hate monger  a man having an epiphany  and the man who tries to correct what hes done before  and in all of these  we get a portrait of a man from all sides  or at least  thats the intention  the films framing device is his brother  danny  edward furlong  perpetually looking about 13   also now a skinhead  and how his principal  bob sweeney  avery brooks  who i just found out was or is the captain on star treks deep space 9   is trying to  correct  him  when the film opens  danny has just written a book report on  mein kampf   landing him in trouble with sweeney  which causes him to make him write a paper on dereks life and how it has gotten him nowhere  coincidentally  this day is the day derek is released from prison  and when we see him  hes cleanedup  not as buff  and has a full head of hair  hes just as intelligent  but still very rough along the edges  but hes wisened up  hes no longer controlled by his anger at blacks and jews  and tries to persuade danny  whos becoming what derek was before  to give up his lifestyle  but danny wont  he goes to a large skinhead beer bash  meets with the skinhead leader  stacy keach   and then discovers that derek is as opposed to neonazidom as he was for it a couple of years ago  the film circles around this  then spins off into nonlinear flashbacks  all done in black and white  we mostly see derek at his prime as a skinhead  living in venice beach  organizing vicious and quasisadistic raids on local stores that no longer hire the white  middleclass teenagers since they can easily get cheaper illegal immigrants to do the same work  and mouthing off his theories on affirmative action and how illegal immigrants and blacks have destroyed the fundamentals this country was built on  to them  the white man is the one who has gotten the fuzzy end of the lolipop  and he not only speaks elloquently  forcefully  and intelligently  but he backs everything up with political reasons  justifying their rage at least to them  and frighteningly enough  much of what he says sounds true   american history x  is a collection of really great scenes and moments  rather than a cohesive  great film that flows effortlessly from one moment to the next  in it  there are some of the best scenes ive seen all year  one scene features a dinner between dereks family  and his mothers newest boyfriend  played with reserve by eliott gould   a jewish liberal who quietly disagrees with dereks rightist views  launching the scene into a fit of rage and anger that builds unparalled emotions in the audience  goulds reaction to dereks final summation is unnerrving   another scene uses humor and traditional macho sex talk to build a friendship and a nice connection between derek and a black coworker  guy torry  while folding laundry in prison  and another soontobeclassic is actually divided in two  the murder of the two black men that winds derek in jail  which contains a final murder so nasty that it may be the most revoltingly shocking all year  theres much more to appreciate  like the acting  which is uniformly good  with standouts coming from avery brooks  beverly dangelo  as the longsuffering mother   and gould  who has one horrible line  but other than that  comes off with the best performance hes given in what seems like a really long time   norton walks off with the film  though  coming off with such intensity that he reduces anyone not doing an adequate job to rubble  in only the fifth movie of his career  norton has invented himself as one of the most reliable and intense actors of his generation  and maybe the best  theres nothing like it when norton really gets rolling in this movie  spewing out lines with such authority that he commands all attention from the audience  coming off with power similar to that of a young maron brando  that he allows the little emotions to seep through is amazing  sadly enough  this isnt going to be the great portrait of racism that it perhaps hopes to be  its too unambitious and even a little contrived to really take off as either a powerful statement or an emotional masterpiece  the ending  especially  is pencilled in from other movies  tossed in just so the emotional keyboard can be trounced upon  some of the skinheads are reduced to mere cliches  kevin smith regular ethan suplee fairs rather annoyingly as the  fat skinhead   whose lines consist without fail of expressing his desire to eat more   and even the dramatic arc isnt as well travelled  furlongs danny never seems to really be learning a lesson  since the flashbacks refuse to show his point of view  and when he decides to make a change by the end  which was inevitable   it doesnt seem like it has actually arrived there  even dereks descent into skinheaddom doesnt seem justified  though his fireman father  william russ  the dad from  boy meets world   and dont ask me how i know that  is killed by a black junkie  and even before he spoke against affirmative action intelligently  there never seems to be any real back story why derek became so intense about his beliefs  as such  one can see why the director  tony kaye  wanted to have his name removed  sorta   american history x  is a very good movie  and i was very moved by it  but it could be a lot better  and the problem seems to be that the cut as it is is not up to what he claims to be his potential  somewhere  he claims  there lies a tony kaye cut  and that was to be the true cut until it was viewed by norton  who then ordered another cut  and that is thus  although he aimed for the directing credit to go to  alan smithee   the resident name for any film that is to be disowned by its director  it wasnt allowed to him  under the grounds that once you disown a film  you can not badmouth it  but really  thats the macguffin  no one really wanted a film this good to be given the alan smithee sign of disapproval   kayes right in that its not up to par  even if hes not referring to normal par but rather his own personal par  this will not be a  do the right thing  for the late 90s  yet it still gets its point across intelligently  and backs it up with its story  its message  that one cannot be so enwrapped in ones own beliefs or pain and suffering will occur  is literally said over the narration  unfortunately   and even if it isnt perfect  at least when avery brooks turns to norton after he has been beaten and raped in prison  and asks him if anything hes done has made his life any better  it realy hits a nerve  not only in derek  but also in the audience  
pos	synopsis  as a response to accusations of sexual prejudice in the armed forces  a female naval intelligence officer is chosen to be a test case  if she can survive the demanding s  e  a  l  training  she will open the way for other women to be permitted to follow in her footsteps  throw in a lot of political machinations  sabotage  brutality  water and sand and you have an entertaining movie  review  the title of this movie turned me off at first  i mean gi jane        the other titles which were considered were more promising  in pursuit of honor or a matter of honor would have been acceptable although navy cross or undisclosed are a little meaningless as far as im concerned  i went into this movie not liking the title and being one of those people who thinks that demi moore is absolutely ghastly as an actor  to my surprise i really enjoyed the movie  moore as lieutenant jordan oneil is much more likeable than her washed out excuse for a gusty woman in a few good men  the storyline is simple  anne bancroft playing senator lillian dehaven is a ruthless  machiavellian politician with an agenda to push  using feminism to achieve political mileage  she forces the military powers that be to backdown and permit a test case to enter the highly intensive navy s  e  a  l  training  jordan is selected due to the fact that she has it all  looks  brains and strength  the training is gruelling and the indignity almost painful to watch  nonetheless  its one of those movies that makes me want to cheer out and encourage the hapless heroheroine along in hisher endeavours  sure  there are the stereotypical elements  inhuman treatment  sexual innuendo  resentful peers  pained boyfriend and sexist commanding officer  stepping away from the stereotypes though  viggo mortensen as master chief john urgayle tries to get away from being nothing more than a brutal screamer  his character exercises a little more intellectual rigour than you would normally expect from such a character  jordans boyfriend royce is also in the military  although they both started at the same time  due to the fact that he has seen active service  he has advanced through the ranks much more quickly than she has  royce  what is his surname  do we care   almost resents jordans attempts to advance herself  although he quickly settles down to being doeeyed and supportive  his character seems to have been thrown in so that we know that you dont have to be a lesbian to want to be in the military  in parts  this is a very silly movie  with gratuitous lines and scenes thrown in for effect which are so blatantly obvious or contrived that its hard not to cringe  i still liked it though  weaknesses in the script aside  this is a film which captures a heroic and reckless mood  as we watch jordans battle  its increasingly clear that it is a personal battle  this is an individuals fight for selfadvancement  we dont have to have our teeth set on edge by didactic preachings  we dont have to feel uncomfortable because were having ideology thrust down our throats  its enough that we can sit back and hope that this one person gets what she wants and we can admire her tenacity and determination without coming out and saying whether we believe women should go into combat or not  
pos	the idea at the center of the devils advocate  which is  thus far  one of the three or four best films of 1997  is that no matter what decision is made  evil will triumph  god is a trickster  satan is a humanist   the last humanist   he appears in many guises  and seduces many men and women  in his own words   vanity  by far my favorite sin   al pacino plays this role with relish  and gets to chew some delectable lines   lemme givya a piece o inside wisdom on god       i have a million names       as john milton  the devil  the main idea  that he can appear as anyone  in any form  in this case  a buisness man   harkens mainly back to terry gilliams the time bandits  but the film  is something else  something original  part of what makes it so very good  is that it never takes itself too seriously  it dabbles with morality  vanity  death  and child abuse  but doesnt try to become any profound study of power  this is a marvelous confection  cocky  funny  thought provoking  it is also entertaining  there is no way you could possibly predict the ending  it pulls back upon itself  drawing purely out of the minds eye  the final shot is more creative  more daring  more challenging  then anything in cinema since the white sock in the coens fargo  the central themes are fascinating  sometimes reminiscent of james the turn of the screw  and oates accursed inhabitants of the house of bly   and the product that is built around it really wows  its nice to know that things like this are still being made  
pos	scream 2  like its predecessor  is a genrecrossing film  it is about 50 horror film and 50 murder mystery  the mix worked very well last time and it continues to entertain this time  scream was also known for its selfreferential tone  many inside jokes were made in reference to horror movies and wes craven  again  scream 2 follows suit with characters saying such things as  sequels suck  and  the entire horror genre was destroyed by sequels   scream 2s story is very similar to its predecessors  sidney  neve campbell   having survived the killing spree in scream  is now in college  gale weathers  courteney cox  has written a book about the murders and that book is now being released as a feature film  called stab  which for all practical purposes is the realworld movie scream   at the premiere of stab  two students from sidneys college are stabbed to death  and a new story begins  the press descends on sidney and her college to get the scoop on this sequel killer  they want to know all about the links between stab  sidney  and the recent murders  the most complex selfreference i saw  this should be an olympic event  was the scene where gale weathers was asking questions at a press conference  the rest of the press was watching and videotaping weathers  the other survivors from scream were watching and videotaping the press  the audience was watching the whole  filmed scene   whew   the movie is packed with layers and selfreferences that make it a pleasure to watch  even better would be to watch a double feature of scream and scream 2  thats not to say that these references necessarily make scream 2 a deep  or even a good movie  the just add to the fun of watching it  i recommend it for other reasons as well  what i liked best about the horror aspect of the movie is that the monster is not supernatural  no werewolf or ghost or psycho with superhuman strength is responsible  it is a person in a mask and a robe  his only advantage the fear he strikes into his victims  no extraordinary leap of faith is needed to believe in the killer  the down side is that if you are frightened by horror movies  you have less grounds to say  its just a movie   the whodunit aspect of the movie is not that great by itself  gale weathers and deputy dewey  david arquette  also from the original  track down a killer  they are likeable  but not outstanding  but in combination with the horror aspect  the whodunit is a perfect counterpoint  it was exactly a year ago today that i wrote the review for scream  the internet movie database says that scream 3 is in the works  so i wonder if ill be doing the same thing on january 1  1999  if craven and screenwriter kevin williamson are able to keep the quality high  ill be happy to mark my calendar  
pos	when i first saw the previews for ron howards latest film  my expectations were discouragingly low  a show about nothing  sounds like  seinfeld   a guy whose entire life is broadcast 24 hours a day  sounds like  the truman show   what is it with hollywood that no sooner than one production company puts out an animated feature about ants  another puts one out about bugs  which is why i was pleasantly surprised by  edtv   which turns out to be a fresh  insightful  and often times hilarious film about the follies of instant celebrity  the writing  by howards longtime collaborators lowell ganz and babaloo mandel  is right on the money and howard himself should be credited for giving the subject matter a fresh focus  in the hands of a lessexperienced director   edtv  could easily have had all the flavor of yesterdays meatloaf  with their true tv cable ratings being threatened by the gardening channel  apparently people would rather watch soil   the northwest broadcasting company is looking for a novel concept to attract viewers  program director cynthia topping  ellen degeneres  comes up with the idea of putting a nobody on the air and broadcasting his every waking and sleeping moment  the hook is to find a regular guy  someone normal that people can relate to  while scouting possible candidates  cynthias camera crew discover ed pekurny and his pig brother ray  woody harrelson  in a bar  where ray believes he has what it takes for his fifteen plus minutes of fame  but on watching the videotape  the shows producers are more taken with ed than with ray  hes cute  he says all the wrong things  and hes 100 usda hick  cynthias boss  played by rob reiner  gives the show a week to deliver the goods and its tough going in the early stages  the most exciting thing that happens is ed brushes his teeth   action shot   wags one of the production assistants when a couple of pop tarts jump out of the toaster  you get the idea  but soon enough  thingsnielsenboosting kinds of thingsstart to happen to this unassuming san francisco video store clerk and the true tv cameras are right there to document it  eds privacy is no longer his own  his newfound fame starts having a negative impact on his family life  and what little dignity he has left is trampled on by the media  who should ed go out with  you can be sure the pollsters have a list  not only is the film exceedingly well cast  but its performers are consistently excellent  matthew mcconaughey provides the face  the body language  and the lovable texan accent to fill the shoes of americas latest phenomenon  he and harrelson look like they really could be brothers  sally kirkland is noteworthy in a difficult role as eds mother  and martin landau is one of the films highlights as al  eds ailing stepfather  jenna elfman  from tvs  dharma and greg   proves herself surprisingly worthy in the company of kirkland and landau  although those alpine eyebrows of hers get a little distracting  even degeneres and reiner are better than youd expect  in 1979  writerdirectorcomedian albert brooks made a zany little film called  real life  in which a smalltime opportunist makes a realtime documentary about a typical american family  the scenes of eds family sitting around the dinner table feasting on kentucky fried chicken and waxing idiotic play like a bigbudget variant on that film  paralleling its wickedly inventive humor  as with most films by albert brooks   real life  was funny  but absurd  the funniestand scariestthing about  edtv  is that it is absolutely believable  
pos	ingredients  james bond  scuba scene  car controlled by cellular telephone synopsis  warped media tycoon elliot carver  jonathan pryce  plots to start a war between britain and china in order to boost ratings by using a stealth ship to fire a captured british missile at the city of beijing  superagent james bond  pierce brosnan  uses trick gadgets  pluck  and charm in order to foil carvers scheme  this time bond teams up with top female agent wai lin from china  michelle yeoh   the film contains fights  chases  gadgets  and comedic moments  opinion  it does not have a casino scene or a ski scene  but tomorrow never dies is nevertheless a solid  enjoyable bond movie  it neither stands out nor disappoints  in old bond movies bond sometimes teamed up with american cia agent felix leiter  tomorrow never dies introduces a new character in the form of chinese agent wai lin  like leiters character  wai lin would be a sure bet for a cameo in a later bond movie  stars  michelle yeoh was born a leo in the western zodiac in the year of the tiger on the asian astrology calendar  i dont believe in horoscopes  but at an airport i once browsed an astrology book with a section on leo tigers  lts    leo tigers prefer enough solitude to grow at their own pace  lts are unbelievably courageous when facing adversity  the lt is also classy  and has an excellent sense of refinement  but she sees herself as an adventurer  and prefers freedom of movement rather than flashy status symbols  this person loves family and friends with a fierce loyalty  she delights in siblings  nephews  nieces and extended family   but she must have her personal freedom to come and go as she pleases  sometimes annoyance at injustice drives her to take up one or two causes  in love life  the lt has an unfortunate mental block against committing to any partner who is less powerful than she   in real life  michelle yeoh is asias top female star  like jackie chan  she does her own stunts  she was born in malaysia   a country of many languages   and her primary language  the language she speaks in her sleep  is english  she was taught malay in school  and learned cantonese from bilingual parents  as an athlete michelle represented malaysia internationally  she enjoyed squash  diving  swimming  and rugby  she studied ballet at the royal academy of dance in london  but switched to drama after a spinal injury  in 1983 she won the miss malaysia pageant   without really intending to  since a family member had entered her in the contest without her knowledge  notoriety from the contest led eventually to a movie career as an action heroine  michelle has survived a divorce with asian retail tycoon dickson poon  a nearly fatal stunt accident falling from a freeway overpass which put her in the hospital for three months  and  a retirement from the movies  her comeback from retirement  supercop  1992  became the top grossing film in asia that year  it is not clear what michelles martial arts style is  but it may be a theatrical version of wing chun  of her character wai lin in tomorrow never dies  michelle says   wai lin is the first bond girl who is on a par with bond  someone who can match up with him mentally and physically   my own opinion is that casting michelle yeoh as agent wai lin was an excellent choice  
pos	it is always refreshing to see a superstar actor who gets paid more than enough to forget about working for a living to want to take a chance and play a lessthansavoury character as mel gibson does in payback  of course  if i was being paid 25 million for one months work  id probably be willing to take risks as well  but thats neither here nor there  payback is based on a novel by richard stark  apparently actually donald e  westlake  author of the grifters  itself a fine crime film  which was also filmed in the 1960s as point blank starring one of the toughest of tough guys  lee marvin  the film opens with gibson having recovered from being shot several times in the back  by whom we dont know yet  all we know is that gibson  as porter  isnt a happy chappy and is hellbent on getting the money stolen from him back  and getting even in the process  no matter what the consequences  it turns out that the man hes after is val  gregg henry   his sometime partner with whom he stole a briefcase full of cash from a gang of chinese mobsters  obviously not having much of a crisis of the soul  val figures porter is dead and goes about using his share of the money to pay off a debt to his employers  porter  however  is the sort of man who holds a grudge and once on his feet  goes about exacting revenge on the doublecrossing val  gibson gives a terrific performance in the sort of role which he was born to play  that of a slightly unhinged guy who doesnt mind beating up or shooting people to get what he wants  you probably wouldnt see other actors in his salary range take such an offbeat  outofcharacter role such as porter  jim carrey wont be doing anything like this in a hurry after what happened the last time he tried  the cable guy  anyone    harrison fords idea of playing an unsympathetic character is presumed innocent  the last time schwarzenegger played a villain was batman and robin  which we wont mention further  and has stallone ever really played a villain at all  this is not to say that porter is a villain  per se  while he isnt the sort of character you wouldnt want to get on the wrong side of  hes nothing compared to some of the ones we are forced to watch in countless bad thrillers and action films where they kill innocent people in the blink of an eye or execute their righthand men just to prove how mean they are  porter is only trying to get back what is notsorightfully his  which in a way is almost understandable  payback is an enjoyable dramatic black comedythriller which wont be remembered as being among gibsons most important work  but is still one of the finer films hes done  the only real problem with it is that  while everything seems to work out in the end  i was left feeling something was lacking  was that all  the ending looks as if it was tacked on at the last minute  and the final voiceover doesnt ring true  even though it was used to good effect elsewhere in the filmnoir style the rest of the film embodies  the film just ends far too suddenly  after a huge buildup in the penultimate scenes  a fine film  even though it needs just a little something more to be the kind of a film that can be recommended without hesitation  just be ready for a possible letdown of an ending  
pos	if you thought baz luhrmanns radical take on williamshakespearesromeojuliet was wild  wait until what you see what tony awardwinning stage director julie taymor  thelionking  thebroadwaymusical  does to the bards titusandronicus for her audaciousand very bloodyfilm debut  while luhrmann transplanted the starcrossed lovers to 1990s florida  taymor keeps this grisly tale of revenge in romebut places it in a surreal temporal limbo  the colosseum suggests the proper time of imperial rome  but high rises and heavy duty kitchen ovens suggest the 1990s  while the vintage automobiles and some costumes are more 40s and 50s  and other garments are more gladiatorlike  as tamora  queen of goths  jessica lange  exacts revenge on roman general titus  anthony hopkins  for killing her eldest son  and he does the same to her for the wrongs she commits  taymor obviously wanted to express the timeless relevance of the storys underlying themes  however  the time convergence approach only works at times  for often its just distracting  as in one scene where tamoras suviving sons  matthew rhys and jonathan rhys meyers  blow off steam playing video arcade games  taymor didnt have to resort to such avant garde time tricks  for the story would have resonated just as strongly had she jettisoned them  she is a strong storyteller and a master visual stylist  the latter compliment encompassing all areas  makeup and costume choices as well as those in the editing and photography departments  she also has a sure way with actors  hopkins titus is at once tragic and horrifying  and lange is sultry as the viperous tamora  the clear standout of the cast  however  is harry lennix as aaron  a moor who is tamoras secret lover and a schemer in his own right  lennix brings great depth to a role that could have easily been played as a stock villain  a great villain he indeed is  but to leave it at that isnt giving full justice to his powerful and multidimensional work  titus isnt a complete success  but it is never less than fascinating  and it announces the arrival of a fearlessly imaginative new cinematic voice  
pos	meteor threat set to blow away all volcanoes  twisters  summer is here again  this season could probably be the most ambitious  season this decade with hollywood churning out films like deep impact   godzilla  the xfiles  armageddon  the truman show  all of which has but  one main aim  to rock the box office  leading the pack this summer is  deep impact  one of the first few film releases from the  spielbergkatzenberggeffens dreamworks production company  following  the rather dismal showing of their previous two releases  mousehunt and  amistad  deep impact shines with elements which could just make it one  of the biggest movies of the year  deep impact begins with the discovery of an earth bound comet during a  school astronomy outing by leo beiderman  elijah wood  which  subsequently stirred up the political community of the world  keeping  the information under wraps to prevent widespread panic  president beck   morgan freeman  took it upon himself and his subordinates to execute a  highly secretive space project to destroy the comet before it hits  earth  while pursuing a sexscandal story amongst the presidential  ranks  ambitious up and coming reporter  jenny lerner  tea leoni   unfolds the wool that president beck has pulled over the citizens of the  world  as if the knowledge of the imminent annihilation of mankind is  not enough  jenny has to come to terms with her father  maximillian  schell  leaving the mother for a younger woman  20 president beck announces the discovery and preparations to destroy the  comet exactly oneyear later  with so much confidence that it left no  trace of panic within the american community  achieving fame from  announcement of the comet wolfbeiderman enroute to earth  the name of  its discoverers   leo beiderman continues life in his small town as a  young celebrity  a team of astronauts  led by the ageing veteran  astronaut spurgeon tanner  robert duvall   was secretly trained to carry  out the mission to land on the comet and create and explosion with a  nuclear device  with the hope of blowing it out of its current path  towards earth  despite him being the most experienced in the team  the  younger generation of astronauts in the team doubts tanners ability due  to his age  but these are just problems of individuals  life on earth  goes on as any other day  confident that the comet will be destroyed  when the attempt to avert wolfbeidermans path failed and caused the  comet to split into two  comet wolf and comet beiderman  the president  unfolds his contingency plan to evacuate part of the population  leaving  the rest to die  citizens are randomly chosen to live underground for 2  years prior to impact  when the dust due to the impact around earth have  settled  by then all life on the surface would have died  jenny and leo  were picked but many of their loved ones were not  only a handful of  earths population will be saved from destruction  20 deep impacts moving moments occur in the least specialeffect laced  scenes  while the effects are fantastic  they only form a small part of  the film  which indulges itself in the development of its main  characters  leo  lerner and tanner  leos struggle when he learns that  his girlfriend is not part of the population to be saved  lerners  dwindling relationship with her father and her pain for the mothers  loneliness  tanners strive to gain the respect he deserves from his  crew and his ultimate sacrifice  all form the backbone of deep impacts  moving moments  deep impact smells suspiciously like the previous year  release contact despite vivid differences  i think its probably because  they both delve in a story of global proportions and indulges in the  premise of hope  faith and life itself  both do not depend heavily on  eyecandy in the form of cgi effects  director mimi leder  who won  numerous awards directing television series  and made her debut with  peacekeeper last year  is definitely a director to watch  20 despite this being the first of the two meteor movies this summer  the  other being armageddon   i think there will be stark differences in the  approach to the subject matter  while the premise of both may be the  same  execution and focus of the films will in fact show that deep  impact has more focus on human elements than armageddon  which is done  by the team which brought us bad boys  crimson tide and the rock  20 deep impact should be able to satisfy a variety of audiences  from the  most actioncraving to those who just want to immerse into its  manipulative but nonetheless dramatic premise  
pos	there is a striking scene early in  city of angels   where all the angels who live unseen in our midst  gather at the beach to watch the sun rise  the camera moves above them  showing the endless rows of ethereal men and women  all garbed in black  then the camera moves in on the face of seth  an angel played by nicolas cage  and as the sun rises  he smiles and his entire face lights up  you see  the angels can hear music in sunrises and sunsets  but they cannot feel a human touch  it is an important scene for several reasons  first of all  it is one of many instances in the film that make angels seem thoroughly plausible  the film presents these fantastic beings as normallooking people who drift amongst the inhabitants of earth  watching what goes on with little interference  there are none of the standard  hokey angel references used in recent films like  angels in the outfield   1994  or  michael   1996   the angels here are stark and believable  this early scene on the beach is also an important scene of juxtaposition  for its shows how gods angels can enjoy aspects of the earth that human cannot  and yet they are denied so many simple human pleasures  like feeling the sand on their feet or the waves lapping at their legs  or the smell of the salt in the air  there is an inherent tragedy in being an angel  although there is much beauty in it as well  they eternally walk the earth  listening to our thoughts  touching us in our pain  and leading the dying to heaven  like human existence  being an angel is often confused and unsure   city of angels  is essentially a love story  between seth and a human  a beautiful but sad heart surgeon named maggie  meg ryan   he first sees her when he is in her operating room  waiting to lead the soul of her dying patient to heaven  maggie is distraught  doing everything in her power to stop the man from dying on her table  and seth is moved by her efforts and  more importantly  her overwhelming sadness when the patient dies  angels have the limited power to soothe humans in time of misery and pain  and seth does what he can with his invisible touch  but its not enough  he wants to be with her and share her pain  not just stand back at a distance  he learns that the only way to fulfill his desire for human love and touch is for him to  fall  and become human  he learns this from another fallen angel  played by dennis franz   n  y  p  d  blue   in a touching and humorous performance  sitting at a diner together  franz tells cages character about how wonderful it is to be human  to be able to taste food  feel another persons skin  smell the air  and most importantly  have a loving wife and children  of course  there is pain to go along with all this  but for seth  it will be worth it   city of angels  is something of a reinterpretation of wim wenders haunting 1988 film  wings of desire   wenders film was more like a poem  it was the feeling  the emotion that truly mattered over what actually happened  the americanized version moves the location from divided berlin to broken los angeles  and the emphasis shifts onto the relationship between the immortal angel and the mortal human  and  unlike most foreign films that are remade into hollywood fare  it doesnt suffer extensive damage  this may be because director brad silberling   casper   and screenwriter dana stevens   blink   wanted to make  city of angels  its own movie  inspired by  wings of desire   but not an attempt to copy it  and yet   city of angels  is not a typical hollywood movie  it is beautifully filmed in lush colors by cinematographer john seale   the english patient    whose sweeping aerial shots and golden lighting make los angeles into an almost unrecognizable new world  seale creates many striking visuals  in addition to the beach scene  there is a wonderful sequence in a circular library where all the angels appear at banisters all around  looking down at seth as he watches maggie walk by  while the film travels along a charted plot  it takes time to develop its characters and situations  it sheds light on the boundaries between what is earthly and what is heavenly  and shows just how thin those boundaries are  both cage and ryan give soulful  softspoken performances  ryan  who is usually so bouncy and energetic  truly embodies a sadness that can only be alleviated by a heavenly touch  cage projects all his desire and longing to be human in simple  heartfelt gazes  and speaks with the comforting  knowing voice that only an angel could have  what is most striking about  city of angels  is that stevens has added a new ending to the screenplay  which is both unexpected and challenging  its not a formulaic hollywood ending  because it is both sad and uplifting at the same time  it doesnt give the audience what it thinks it wants at the end of a romance  instead  it offers something much better  something that speaks to the depths of what it means to be human and alive   visit  charlie dont surf   an eclectic collection of film reviews by james kendrick http  www  bigfoot  comjimkendrick  email  jimkendrickbigfoot  com 
pos	star wars  episode 1  the phantom menace  1999  review by matt pusateri few movies evoke nostalgia  enthusiasm  and affection like george lucas 1977 classic  star wars  the original blockbuster film and its two sequels not only evoked wonder and passion in a generation of filmgoers  but has deeply entrenched itself in american pop culture  arguably  more americans today can explain what  the force  or a  jedi  is than a budget deficit or a serb  so 22 years after the release of the original  and 16 years since the third film  the return of the jedi  how can any new star wars film withstand the weight of incomparable expectations and anticipation  can a new storyline and a new cast of characters possibly compete with the legends of the first trilogy  luke  han solo  and darth vader all cultural icons  against this challenge  the fourth star wars film  episode one  the phantom menace hit the screens last week  and despite some early critical reviews in the major media  the film is neither a flop nor a disappointment  while the phantom menace is certainly not the finest film in the series  it is nonetheless engaging  exciting  and visually breathtaking  it is a worthy sequel  er  prequel  to the original star wars films  the phantom menace takes place decades before the setting of original films  as the film opens  obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor   the wise old master who introduced luke to the force in the original star wars  is only a young jedi apprentice  still learning from his fellow jedi and instructor  quigon jinn  liam neeson   the republic government has sent the two jedi to settle a trade dispute that has developed into a blockade of the planet naboo by a shifty trade federation  the jedi quickly find themselves not in negotiations  but in the middle of a planetary invasion  rushing to protect naboos young queen amidala  natalie portman   later  after eventually rescuing amidala and helping her escape naboo  they are forced to stop at tatooine to repair their battledamaged ship before bringing her to the galactic senate to make an appeal for justice  on tatooine  quigon discovers a young slave boy  anakin skywalker  jake lloyd   who not only can help them get the parts they need  but displays uncanny intelligence  insight  and instincts  quigon senses the child is  unusually strong  with the force and begins to suspect that he may be  the one  prophesized to  bring balance to the force   as anyone who has watched the original star wars trilogy knows  far from being a galactic savior  the innocentlooking 9yearold will in time become the ruthless darth vader  complicating matters further is a mysterious hooded figure  darth sidious  is behind the trade blockade and invasion of naboo  and sends out a lethal apprentice  darth maul  to find and capture queen amidala  while amidala and the jedi fight to save her planet  they soon also have to deal with the deadly and relentless darth maul  if the plot sounds a bit complicated  it is  the phantom menace not only introduces an earlier generation of characters and an immediate crisis  but sets up the foundation for the events that will eventually lead to the fall of the republic  the demise of the jedi knights  anakins turn to evil  and the rise of the dark empire of original trilogy  but the complexity is not overwhelming  the story moves quickly  with the only drawback being that many questions  predictably  remain unanswered at the end of the film  setting the stage for the next episode  one of the reasons the films story seems hazy is not that it is too confusing  but too unfocused  its unclear whose story phantom menace is  in the original trilogy  the movies were clearly lukes story  with the stories centering around his growth from farmboy to rebel hero to jedi knight  but its unclear whether this new film is anakins story or obiwans  if this trilogy is centered on anakin  its a shaky foundation  lloyd  like many child actors  lacks the subtle acting skills of adult performers  and as a result  his character seems shallow and unimpressive  on screen  we see nothing that suggests a dark side lurking underneath his littleboy face  or for that matter  any presence that would make him seem so special that quigon is willing to believe he is  the one   the rest of the cast does fine  though they often work with some iffy dialogue by lucas  neeson is perfect as an aging jedi knight  mcgregor is wellcast as obiwan and conveys a balance of youthful energy and calm sensibility  portman fits the role of a young queen well  but her lines were often very formal  giving her little room to give her character much personality  the biggest problem with the phantom menace is not the plot or the characters  but the interaction between them  individually  the characters in this new film are no less developed than those in the original star wars  and the storyline is not more confusing than previous films in the series  but unlike the previous trilogy  lucas doesnt do as good of a job playing the characters off one another  in star wars  there were immediate contrasts and memorable exchanges between luke and han  han and obiwan  and leia and luke  the ensemble played off each other and immediately showed their distinct attitudes and personalities  in the sequence in where luke  han  and chewbacca attempt to rescue leia from her cell on the death star  the audience learns a lot about all four characters in the ways they react to the immediate problems and each other  there is no comparable sequence in the phantom menace to flesh out the characters and their relationships with each other  individually  they are interesting characters with clear motivations and interests  but lucas develops little chemistry or tension between the them  this is perhaps the most glaring weakness of this film  and is probably the reason it has disappointed many reviewers  but despite the need for a richer dialogue and stronger character interaction  the film is still very engaging  many of the wonderful elements of lucas previous films make the phantom menace both memorable and entertaining  first  of course  is the remarkably rich and imaginative universe lucas creates  the characters visit magical underwater cities  evade dinosaursized sea monsters  fight battle droids and menacing  destroyers  on venetianlooking planet of naboo  watch a spectacular event  part romanchariot race  part nascar circuit  on the arid desert planet of tatooine  then head to corsucant  the gothic urban capital of the republic and home to the galactic senate and the jedi council  each location is elaborate and complex  lucas never settles for vague ideas about the look of his settings  he creates rich  spectacular landscapes  palaces  and skylines  most of the new special effects in his rereleased special edition trilogy in 1997 were changes that allowed him to give the earlier movies the look and feel that just werent possible when the films were made  more than ever  in this new film  lucas universe is filled with a menagerie of creatures  robots with personalities  and a supporting cast of aliens who interact with the main characters  the best such character is watto  a greedy tatooine junk dealer who owns anakin and his mother as slaves  watto has a scratchy italian voice and a short  paunchy body with oddly mismatched wings that flutter like a hummingbird as he floats around the room  of all the computergenerated characters in the film  watto is the best done and most enjoyable  speaking of computergenerated characters  no review of the phantom menace is complete without mentioning the most controversial figure in the film  jar jar binks  with more than 80 minutes of screen time  jar jar is the realization of george lucas dream to include a fully computergenerated character into the cast of the new trilogy  jar jar  a clumsy amphibian and member of the gungan race  literally stumbles his way into the path of the jedi knights early in the film and becomes qui jons accidental sidekick  jar jar usually performs a comicrelief role in the film  lightening scenes with his mishaps and inability to stay out of trouble  the animation of jar jar is nearly seamless  and he interacts with the characters throughout the film as if he were really on the set with the actors  however  despite the technological magic that makes his character possible  jar jar isnt completely convincing  he still moves and sounds too much like a cartoon to blend into a scene  throughout the movie  jar jar never transcends a  roger rabbit  like presence  you accept that hes there  but you never lose sight of the fact that he is an animated character  initially  i found jar jar annoying  but grew to enjoy the humor he added to the film  on my second viewing of the film  jar jar was a lot of fun and i didnt mind him at all  a second reason this film continues the fine tradition of star wars movies is that the film is replete with humor and small details that flesh out the world lucas creates  despite all the films struggles between good and evil  and the sober musings about ones destiny and  the force   like all star wars films  the phantom menace never takes itself too seriously  fortunately  lucas hasnt lost sight of the fact that his films are entertainment  not high art  from the bumbling jar jar  to a oneman  twoheaded announcer team calling the action at the films thrilling podrace sequence  to a cameo appearance by e  t  in the film  the phantom menace is simply a lot of fun  with lots of halfhidden jokes and humor that can easily be missed  and finally  the phantom menace works because  as in all his films  there is no shortage of speed and action  from beginning to end  there are lightsaber battles  hairraising chases  and thrilling duels between good and evil  the podrace sequence on tatooine is one of the most entertaining and exciting scenes in any star wars film  and the final showdown between obiwan  quigon  and darth maul is arguably the best choreographed  most thrilling fight sequence lucas has filmed  the phantom menace wont win any major oscars  it probably wont beat titanics box office record  and its not even the best star wars film  id put it third  after the original and the empire strikes back   but its an exciting and entertaining film  far better than your typical summer blockbuster  the film cant live up to its hype  no film  not even the original star wars  could have done that  but its still worth seeing    probably more than once  
pos	the premise is simple  if not bizarre  a mad scientist  trace beaulieu as dr  clayton forrester  launches an averagejoe  michael j  nelson as mike nelson  into space where he forces his subject to watch the most horrendous movies ever made  why  its torturous  its maniacal  and its just plain fun  based on the cultfavorite cable television series  mystery science theater 3000  the movie isnt torturous  but as for being maniacal and just plain fun  it foots the bill quite nicely  mike nelson  on a dogbone shaped spacecraft  spends his days as any young man would dream  indulging in sarcasm and horseplay  and seeing quite a few movies  the catch is  these movies arent the movies he chooses  but retched examples of filmmaking chosen specifically by dr  forrester in an attempt to break mikes will to live  dr  forrester is convinced that one too many b movies is all it will take to ruin a man  but with a couple of wisecracking puppet buddies  tom servo  voiced by kevin murphy  and crow t  robot  voiced by beaulieu   the torture becomes somewhat of a honorary party for all that is wrong in the world of cheezy cinema  the purpose behind mst3k is to exploit some of the worst films known  even if by very few of us  to man  we watch as the silhouettes of mike  tom  and crow sit in a darkened theater poking fun at the movie going on before them  in this case  its the 1954 scifi film this island earth  we basically watch as our three leads watch  only we get the pleasure of eavesdropping on their hilarious commentary  the plots behind the movies ripped apart are really quite irrelevant  but for the sake of those who might want to know  ill explain this one  this island earth is the tale of two scientists  a man and a woman  who wind up aboard a spaceship whose crew intends to destroy the earth  together the two fight to survive as well as save their home planet  to make mst3k work  the filmwithinthefilm naturally has to be as horrible as possible  and although the tvseries introduced us to several worse films than this island earth  its a bad enough flick to bring about some hysterical cruelty  mst3k  which doesnt actually contain the complete this island earth  is a short 73 minutes  but this is a step very wisely taken  as funny as some of their observations are  it can only go so long  occasional breaks from this island earth also help the film tremendously  although it takes a second to get back into the right mode after this premise has been left for a moment  its better than overkilling the whole concept post haste  mst3k lovers will likely hail the film greatly  but if you dont know what youre in for  it could be a jarring disappointment  although i thought the sharp wit of this film was worth three stars  it is a movie to be seen on home video  late at night when your brain is not functioning to full capacity anyway  and with a large  saracastic crowd  new years at midnight for example  which is when i saw it  warning  although mst3k has more to its end credits than most  the three leads use the credits to poke some more fun   they are actually more annoying than most  the name slandering and asinine oneliners were extremely unfunny  and after laughing for about 70 minutes straight  it put a heavy damper on the overall experience  most people will likely stay to see what the smartalecs have to say  but for me  it almost ruined an otherwise good film  
pos	any movie about the underground music scene is a difficult beast to master  any meaning found in the underground is usually lost by the dumbingdown of the experience to make it  more accessible  to the general public  or the film is produced and directed by people that have about enough understanding of the subject matter that they ought to work as production assistants for vh1  human traffic  a new film exploring the british underground partyrave scene and the people immersed in the world of clubbing  pubbing  drugs  sex  and the beautiful  beautiful music  is an example of how it really ought to be done  the film follows five brits in their young twenties during a wild weekend of parties  drugs  dancing  sex  pop culture discussions  relationships  and wanking off in front of a mirror while mum interrupts  the cast of character consists of jip  john simm   our narrator  who has a bit of a problem with his willy  known as mr  floppy  koop  shaun parkes   our black dj maestro  who has insecurity issues  afraid his girlfriend nina  nicola reynolds  is shagging other men  nina herself cant stand her mcjob and longs for the freedom of the weekends  lulu  lorraine pilkington   jips best mate  is tired of her cheating boyfriends  and moff  danny dyer  cant seem to escape the black hole of his awful life  the film follows these five individuals during one weekend as each of them discovers love  friendship  and selffulfillment  all against the raging party background  human traffic is proof that cinema can still tell us deep stories while being visually alive  as director justin kerrigans subtle use of the camera lets the audience become part of the action  the use of direct communication to the audience by the collection of characters works well  making the viewer the subconscious mind for the characters  dialogue is crisp and moves with an even pace  and the acting is confident  however  the two females leads tend to promote their relationships and dialogue with a bit of unneeded urgency that shows through when poignancy is needed  human traffic does not try to explain the rave scene  instead  it gives the audience the ability to listen to the people inside it  letting you choose your own convictions about this powerful musical movement that brings together strangers  friends  and lovers for one blissful night of music and peace  
pos	steve martin took an extended vacation from all facets of moviemaking a few years back  he spent this time writing essays and short stories for  the new yorker   several of which wound up in his hilarious hardback compilation  pure drivel  1998   much of the book spares tinseltown from mockery  although he does riff on the racist comments made by marlon brando during a larry king interview  in a fine chapter called  in search of the wily filipino   now  as writer and star of bowfinger  he offers the masses plenty of good reasons not to pursue a career in the cinema  perhaps finally venting the frustrations  everything being made now is crap  that led to his brief retirement from hollywood  martin stars as bobby bowfinger  a roger cormanwannabe on the cusp of fifty and desperate for some success as a producer  quality of the projects be damned  his accountant  adam aleximalle  proposes a movie called  chubby rain   about aliens who travel to earth in raindrops slightly fatter than regular raindrops  bowfinger latches onto the idea immediately  and convinces his troupe of actor friends to appear in the film  based on the lie that americas top box office draw  kit ramsey  murphy   has agreed to star  ramsey  of course  wants nothing to do with such lowgrade material  so bowfinger  on the thinking that action stars need to run  not speak  decides to photograph the superstar surreptitiously  he sends his cast members  who arent in on it  either  they are told ramsey hates the sight of cameras and fraternizing with his costars  to ramseys table at restaurants  asks them to follow him in parking lots  etc   spouting script dialogue  all the while shooting the outcome from a great distance  the paranoid ramsey flees the scene nearly every time  ramsey is a member of mind head  a cultish selfhelp organization apparently dedicated to recruiting celebrities   as if thats not familiar enough  mind head guru terry stricter  terence stamp  has been dressed and combed to resemble l  ron hubbard  founder of scientology   when he goes to mind head with tales of caucasian strangers appearing from nowhere to babble  white code  in his face  they fear the nervous breakdown of an important client and rush him off to a retreat  requiring bowfinger to find a standin  murphy will probably win more fans as jiff  ramseys adorable  ignoramus double  than as kit  but it is his portrayal of the latter that took courage  always surrounded by an entourage  suffering from a racial inferiority complex  murphy plays right into the tabloid image of himself  furthermore  consider the enemies hell make of popular scientologists  pacing stricters neutralcoloured office as if on an amphetamine binge and stripped of his bigshot veneer  ramsey is asked to shout inane personal affirmations repeatedly  murphys scenes with stamp are exactly what i imagine of a john travolta  clearing   not that murphy is entirely responsible for this schtick  bowfinger is steve martins invention  his script is surprisingly clever as satire  given that the pseudoreligion is a sitting duck  as is the entire los angeles film industry   the griffin milltypes take quite a beating  in the form of robert downey jr  as bigwig jerry renfro   martins decision to tell the story from a bottom feeders point of view is what keeps it fresh and innovativenever have we seen on screen a group of people struggle this hard to complete a motion picture  as expected  there are laughs only to be had insiders or buffs  such as martins crew of mexican borderjumpers  who gain unexpected appreciation for the classics from reading  cahiers du cinema   or martins nonsensical explanation to dave  his loyal cinematographer  jamie kennedy   that every movie  in the end  has a budget of twothousand dollars     most of bowfinger is universally funny  however  i defy any viewer to keep a straight face when christine baranski  one of our brightest comediennes  is on screen  bowfingers main flaw is a plot twist that has an insubstantial aftermath  were also asked to believe that a few simple closeups of kit ramsey would redeem  chubby rain   zgrade entertainment that would make ed wood blush   this aspect of bowfinger has much in common with the ludicrous oscar sequence in ozs last directorial effort  the poorly conceived in  out   these are significant enough weaknesses that they distracted from my enjoyment of the piece  as i mentioned at the start of this review  bowfinger offers solid reasons not to do what heather grahams character daisy does  hop a bus to hollywood in search of stardom  that said  it offers one fantastic reason to get on that bus  the sense of community between filmmakers who gel is awesome  martin gets sentimental by storys end as he did in l  a  story  and how could he not  for those who can hack it  the movies might be the greatest business in the world  
pos	from the man who presented us with henry  the portrait of a serial killer  6  510  comes a wild tale set within the elite and white trash of floridas south coast  plot  guidance counselor  dillon  is accused of raping one of his students  she happens to be the daughter of one of the wealthiest women in florida  the counselor is brought to court on the charges  as another white trash girl  campbell   also joins the rape fingerpointing club  as the story unfolds  we find that many things arent exactly as they seem  thats as much as i could say without ruining anything   critique  good little flick that slows down at certain points  and runs a tad long  but generates enough twists and turns to keep most people interested throughout  mind you  i could see many people not liking it because it takes  one too many  twists and turns  but hey  i happen to like that kind of thing  and besides  the twists and turns in this movie managed to remain within the realm of believability  or scathingly close to   and even  explained  many of its turns with a showcase of missed scenes during the credit crawl at the end of the film  do not leave the theatre before you see the credits    it really does clear up some stuff     other than that  the acting was good  with campbell transforming her  good girl stereotypical  role into a potsmoking  gothlooking white trash chick out for a good time  denise richards  from starship troopers  710  fame  solidifies herself as hollywoods jellydonut pinup girl of the moment  and proves that all breast implants neednt lead to lawsuits  bacon is solid  and so is dillon  while continuing to prove his inability to age to the whole wide wondering world     sprinkle the story with a bunch o shots of alligators peeking through the swamp waters  bacon showing the world the size of his dingdong  do we really need to see this     a couple of lesbian kissing scenes  and a menageatrois  and youve got yourself a decent time at the movie theatre  on the down side  the soundtrack was not as prominent  or slick  as i thought it would be  and theresa russell  real name  theresa paup  seems to have lost her way in every which way possible     ooooh  i almost forgot bill murrays exquisite role as the downtrodden lawyer who agrees to defend dillon in court  murray actually added that extra little spice of humour that allowed this film to affirm its position as a quirky little noirish tale of sex  greed and mystery  little known facts  neve campbell specified a nonnudity clause in her contract  shes also born in guelph  ontario    go hoser   director john mcnaughton says he deleted a scene that would have shown matt dillon and kevin bacon showering together  as it was gratuitous  kevin bacon plays in a band with his brother  called the bacon brothers  is married to actress kyra sedgwick  and has a game based on him called  six degrees of kevin bacon   
pos	how many of us would become strippers  for those of us who wouldnt  is it a moral reason  or purely a lack of confidence  thats probably not a fair question  and for a lot of us  it could very well be for neither of those reasons  as you watch the full monty  however  you may begin asking yourself these kinds of questions  would you be willing to grin and bare it to bring in some much needed dough  in case you havent guessed  the full monty is about stripping  but striptease it aint  its actually quite a charming comedy that uses its ideas with a great deal of tact and sophistication  it is the story of six outofwork  outofshape blue collar brits whose recent job losses have left the boys penniless  but not without need  what to do  it hits our main character gaz  robert carlyle  as he notices the large crowds of women who pour into a local male strip club on a regular basis  it seems that simple  take it off and bring in the cash  eventually  gaz is able to convince his friends to join him in starting their own exotic dance routine despite their initial reluctance  these include the overweight  confidencelacking dave  mark addy   the uptight  overlyofficious gerald  tom wilkinson   the once suicidal lomper  steve huison   and two additional fellows who gain their place among the group by audition  horse  paul barber   an older gentlemen chock full of graceless energy  and guy  hugo speer   a young wellendowed looker who compares himself to cary grant  when the sextet is complete  were given a hefty dose of physical comedy  we watch the bumbling middleaged men choreograph pseudosexy dance numbers  all the while proving why none of them were strippers in the first place  as if there antiappeal wasnt enough  they decide to boost interest in the group by promising  the full monty  on opening night  which for us americans  means baring it all    and i mean  all   the movie actually ends on opening night  a hilarious applause worthy ending i might add  its sure to leave nothing short of a big smile on your face as you leave the theater  with the subject matter  you might not expect the fully monty to be such a feelgood  almost inspiring film  but it surprisingly turns out that way  the amount of light  touching drama also comes as a nice surprise  never feeling offbalance from the otherwise highly upbeat moments of the film  theres a lot more to this movie than you might think in other words  and the ensemble cast couldnt be better  each character is completely individual  interesting  funny  and most importantly  real  the full monty is never offensive  a very impressive attribute since its subject matter alone couldve easily fallen prey to tastelessness  its one of those movies that is best described as a solid piece of entertainment  perfect for a great night on the town  or as a saturday night movie rental  either way you see it  it shouldnt let you down in the slightest  and  pun heavily intended  when its all said and done  youll be smiling from cheek to cheek  
pos	director dominic sena  who made the highly underrated kalifornia  and producer jerry bruckheimer  the rock  armageddon  bring us a slick and entertaining remake of the 1974 film of the same name that absolutely no one has ever seen  nicolas cage plays memphis  a retired car thief whos  pulled back in  to the business by an evil car thief overlord  christopher eccleston  determined to kill memphis kid brother  giovanni ribisi   memphis is ordered to steal 50 cars in four days time or his brother will meet an unfortunate demise  all while having to elude the detectives hot on his trail and a rival car thief who feels the job should have been given to him and his gang  memphis sets out to put his old crew back together  but discovers that most of them have retired as well  gone in sixty seconds does things right from the opening credits  in that sequence  we get a rockin little tune from moby  along with some simple back story told only with photographs and assorted objects  filmmakers can sometimes make or break a film just from its opening title sequence  and this one easily gets you in the mindset for an entertaining ride  and what follows doesnt disappoint    cage turns in one of his good performances here  he can easily go either way    good or bad    i dont know how he does that   and his mannerisms and dialogue delivery carry the film along nicely  of the supporting cast members  angelina jolie as memphis former love is in the film just to provide eye candy  shes definitely the hottest looking grease monkey ive ever seen  and robert duvall as memphis former mentor is just around to lend the film some class  also  im a big fan of will patton  armageddon  the postman  and would love to see him get a huge role someday  none of these three performers are given much to do unfortunately  some underrated performers however are given meaty supporting roles  delroy lindo  get shorty  shines as the exasperated detective in pursuit of memphis  as does timothy olyphant  go  as lindos partner  i just wish some of the other characters could have been as important  the only real gripe i have about the film though is its conclusion    mainly because you know how it will end before the opening credits even roll  theres no doubt in anyones mind that the 50 cars will be successfully stolen  and the filmmakers blew a perfectly good opportunity to add some suspense to the picture by using the  rival car thief  plot line  as it stands  that story line is wrapped up about halfway through the film in a tidy little package  but if i was making this film  id have had the rival gang trying to get to the cars before memphis and his crew  thereby making memphis have to improvise    thereby adding some meat to the plot  the finale is essentially just a big car chase  and there just arent ways to make car chases interesting anymore  its all been done  the chase is also shot and edited in that  jerry bruckheimer action sequence  kind of way that leaves the audience wondering what specifically is going on in the scene  sure its a car chase  but what exactly are the particulars of it  its very hard to tell  finally  theres a stunt during this scene that comes close to challenging the  bus jumping the ramp  sequence from speed in the  oh  i dont think so     department  despite those minor complaints  gone in sixty seconds is pure summer movie entertainment  its not thought provoking  but its shiny  loud and fun    just what a summer flick should be  pg13 
pos	books could be  and indeed have been written about the star wars trilogy  and rightfully so  this is a set of movies that shattered all expectations of what science fiction could be in the late 70searly 80s  inspiring literally dozens of clones  from battlestar galactica all the way up to stargate and independance day  and one could argue revitalizing the whole science fiction genre  the special effects were groundbreaking  revolutionary for their day and still eminently watchable well into twenty years later  literally millions of people have seen the star wars trilogy and been touched by it  and now  george lucas brings it back for a new audience to enjoy  much has been and is still being made of the fact that mr  lucas has gone back and revised his trilogy for rerelease now  some fans are angry that he has dared to meddle with what they consider perfection  while others are thrilled by the idea of seeing yesterdays star wars updated with todays special effects wizardry  either way  the special edition release means that star wars is back on the big screen  where it rightfully deserves to be seen  can there be anyone in the world who doesnt know what star wars is about  in a way  star wars is so much a part of our cultural heritage that it feels silly and almost artificial to try to summarize it  its a story about a young mans coming of age  a fight for freedom against an oppressive empire  a tale of swashbuckling and derringdo the likes of which havent been seen on the silver screen in decades  strange new worlds with strange alien creatures and weird surprises around every turn  and the yearning within each of us to realize our dreams and make a difference in the world  its high adventure  incredible special effects  and    well  its just an experience  something about this movie sparked the imagination of a generation    and its about to do so again  this new release of star wars comes as no surprise to many of the films devoted fans  who have been trading rumors and bits of information about it for quite some time now  interviews  trailers  leaks from within lucasfilm    all of these have been collected  collated  and placed on webpages for people to see  pages such as http  www  islandnet  comcoronafilmsdetailssw4  html or  my personal favorite  http  leopard  cs  latrobe  edu  aukoukoula   pictures of before and after have been placed side by side    even months before the movies were released  fans were making comparisons  in some cases  the changes were nothing less than phenomenal  and this can be seen from the comparison shots even before you go into the movie theater  the digital matte effects that were little more than a toy in forrest gump are put to excellent use here  unnoticeably sprucing up scenes that that george lucas was unsatisfied with in the original  for instance  in my personal favorite example  the ancient temple on yavin that was formerly a flat stone edifice now has deep  mosscovered carvings and etchings  and mos eisley spaceport is now a bustling  booming city  with more surprises and things going on in the background than you can notice on the first viewing  all the starships and fighters are now computeranimated  getting rid of glitches and artifacts of the special effects processes used when the film was originally madeand they look fantastic  four and a half minutes of new or missing footage have been added  including a scene with jabba the hutt that had originally been shelved because the state of special effects in 1977 simply couldnt do it justice  however  much of the ten million dollars that was spent on the star wars special edition restoration went into restoring the quality of the film itself  the negatives  badly damaged by the ravages of time  were brightened and returned to their original splendor  the audio tracks were remixed and reprocessed  with reworked sound effects by effects maven ben burtt  into glorious  booming  theatershaking fullthx dolby digital stereo  and that  more than the added scenes or new special effects  is where the real value of this new version lies  its really true what they say in the commercials  star wars loses so much on the small screen  even letterboxing doesnt make up for the decrease in size and definition  in regard to the star wars special edition  and to the other two films of the trilogy which have yet to be released  ill make this final recommendation  go and see it  go and see it more than once    it may be another twenty years before it comes back to the big screen after its gone this time  take along the youngsters whove never had the bigscreen star wars experienceyoull enjoy seeing it through their eyes as much as they will enjoy it for the first time  theres magic in this moviespecial edition or no  there can be no denying that its still star wars  and still has the power to thrill and enthrall children of all ages  from four to four hundred  lets all return to that time long ago  and that galaxy far  far away    
pos	eddie murphy has had his share of ups and downs during his career  known for his notorious late 80s slump  murphy has still managed to bounce back with a handful of hits in the past few years  with the exception of the dreadful holy man  he appears to be on pace for a fullfledged comeback  life was a great move on the part of murphy and costar martin lawrence  because its a great showcase for both actors that never resorts to slapsticky drivel  director ted demme is smart enough to realize that the two comedians can generate enough genuine laughs on their own  and doesnt insert a distracting plot to back them up  life is  in a sense  one great balancing act with murphy on one end and lawrence on the other  amazingly  the scale never tips in eithers favor due to the marvelous chemistry and wonderful contrast that each actor allows the other  as the movie opens  were introduced to ray gibson  eddie murphy   a twotiming pickpocket who schmoozes his way into a club  there he meets a successful businessman named claude banks  martin lawrence   somehow  after multiple contrivances  the mismatched pair find themselves on their way to mississippi on a moonshine run  when all is said and done  ray and claude have been framed for a murder that was actually committed by the town sheriff  hence the setting of life  mississippi state prison  where the main characters come to realize their unlikely friendship is important  and become set on finding an foolproof escape plan  the film takes us from the 30s all the way to the 90s  presenting a difficult task in showing how the aging process affects ray and claude  luckily  rick baker handles the makeup effects of the two actors in a fantastic  academy award caliber manner  not only do we believe the characters look as if theyre 90 years old  but they sound like it  too  murphy and lawrence are completely convincing in the lead roles  even as crotchety old cons bickering over a game of cards  this is just one of the pleasant surprises that the film has tucked up its sleeve  while the ads are marketing life as a straight arrow comedy  there is a hefty amount of dramatic material hidden at its core  but the comedic aspects work wonderfully  wisely drawing strength from the talents of the two stars  the movie is more of a comedy than it is a drama  but in both senses  its an overwhelming delight  i could say a few bad things about the movie  but i dont want to  its such a nice surprise  such a great vehicle for eddie murphy and martin lawrence  that it warrants a huge smile as the credits begin to roll  
pos	cinematically speaking  gordon parks original 1971 shaft is not a great film  a bit slow at times and more than a little rough around the edges as it builds to its climactic explosion of violent action  this spirited but formulaic yarn that initially brought ernest tidymans  black private dick thats a sex machine to all the chicks  to the big screen hardly qualifies as groundbreaking filmmaking  yet nearly 30 years after its original releaseand long after the genre it spawned   blaxploitation   died with that decadethe 1971 shaft remains an extremely entertaining watch  never having completely escaped pop culture consciousness  the reason for this is the same one that explains the films connection with moviegoers far beyond the target africanamerican audience  the title character of john shaft  while the fact that the strong  smart  virile  and superbly suave shaft is black is the primary factor for his historical and cultural significance  his broadbased appeal stems from an idea that transcends race  he is comfortable  confident  and proud about who he is  and anyone who had a problem with that could simply kiss his ass  this fact also explains why john singletons y2g revival of john shaft is as enjoyable as it is  much like the film that started the franchise  this shafts plot doesnt score points in the originality department  but the energy level and smooth attitude distinguishes it from standard crime thrillers  contrary to what has been reported over the past few months  this shaft is not a remake of the original film  but more of a sequelspinoff  the star audiences know and love from the original film and its first two sequels  1972s shaftsbigscore   and 1973s shaftinafrica   richard roundtree  once again plays john shaft  who still runs a private investigation firm in new york city  however  the focus of the film lies on his samenamed nephew  samuel l  jackson   who  as the film begins  is a cop whose takenocrap demeanor constantly leaves him at odds with his superiors  when a privileged young man named walter wade jr   christian bale  accused of a brutal  raciallymotivated murder is allowed to be released on bail  a disgusted shaft leaves the force and decides to take matters into his own hands as a p  i  but thats easier said than done  for also standing in the way of shaft and his way of justice is peoples hernandez  jeffrey wright   a dominican gangster who is hired by walter to rub out waitress diane palmieri  toni collette   the only eyewitness to his crime  peoplesor  rather  wright is also the big obstacle in jacksons way toward commanding this film  peoples is more of an outrageous comic character for most of the running time  and wright is insanely funny during these stages  however  he isnt so funny as to make the character come off as goofy and buffoonish  and peoples eventual turn to more serious villainy is seamless and believable  which probably would not have been the case had he been played by original casting choice john leguizamo  who bowed out before filming   its no easy task to steal a film from the jackson  who is his usual captivating  charismatic self here   but thats exactly what wright doesand makes it seem effortless  then again  with such a talented ensemble surrounding him  it is not too surprising that jacksons impressive star turn doesnt quite tower over the rest  he is strongly complemented not only by wright but all his other costars  bale has already proven his ability to play an uppity killer in americanpsycho  so it only follows that his performance as a similar  less exaggerated character would be spoton  collette lends the film some convincing and welcome dramatic weight as the frightened  conflicted diane  busta rhymes brings some good laughs as shafts sidekick rasaan  registering not as stronglybut through no fault of their ownare vanessa williams  as tough narcotics cop carmen vasquez  and a dismayingly underused roundtree  they simply are given little to do in the script credited to richard price  singleton  and shane salerno   jackson also has little to  do  in a sense  some throwaway footage during the opening credits aside  his shaft doesnt even have one sex scene   that singleton once again proves his ability with actors is an especially good thing since hes not really an action director  this is not to say that he does a bad job with the numerous gunfights and the requisite foot and car chases  they move well  as does the film as a whole  and are reasonably exciting  its just that theres nothing terribly inventive about them  these set pieces are functional in the way the script is  they work well enough  but theyre unsurprising and conventional  but if theres anything that a shaft movie does well  its make the familiar look cooland this shaft keeps that tradition alive  from the slick title sequencescored  of course  to isaac hayes everinfectious oscarwinning theme song  which singleton wisely sprinkles throughout the filmon  the film looks great and easily sweeps the viewer into its world with its energetic bravado  even a common visual trick such as employing fancy wipes for scene transitions not only feels unforced  it feels necessary  style doesnt exactly make for a great film  but when it comes to shaft  thats of little consequence  what matters above all else is having a good time  and the latest shaft should be just the first of many fun rides to be had with this bad muthashut your mouth  
pos	uncompromising french director robert bressons  lancelot of the lake  achieves the exact opposite effect of sir thomas malorys  morte darthur   instead of enshrining the legend of king arthur and his knights of the round table  it dethrones them by revealing arthur as a weak  ineffectual leader and the knights as a group of jealous  bickering men who failed to live up to the legends prescribed to them  chivalry has no place in  lancelot of the lake   except as that of a dying ideal  bresson begins his tale as the knights of the round table are returning  decimated  after failing merlins command to retrieve the holy grail  the mystical cup that was filled with christs blood  bresson immediately gives us his impression of the essential meaning of the grail quest  bloodshed and failure  the opening sequence is a series of clumsy  disjointed fights amongst anonymous knights  a head is hacked off  a stomach is impaled  a skull is split open  skeletal remains hang from trees  and burning bodies smolder in the ruins of a flaming house  since the film starts with camelot in nearruin  and takes only an hour and a half to arrive at its inevitable conclusion  it doesnt carry the grand  tragic resonance of other arthurian films  we never get to see camelot at the peak of its power  therefore there is no real downfall to witness  but  then again  it is not the name of camelot that is evoked in the title of the film  rather  it is lancelot  and bresson is more interested in the internal battle within his heart  than the external downfall of a kingdom  lancelot has always been a tragic figure in the arthurian tales  and bresson uses him as the central figure to explore the battle between the spirit and the flesh  the greatest of all knights  he was flawed only in his love for arthurs wife  queen guinevere  and it was that illicit affair that eventually caused the downfall of camelot  even when lancelot attempts to end the affair with guinevere  laura duke condominas   he only finds himself falling back into her arms against his better judgment  he knows it means the destruction of the idealized kingdom  but he is powerless in his passion  when sir mordred  patrick bernhard  accuses lancelot of the affair  other knights  including sir gawain  humbert balsan  spring to lancelots defense  it is this battle within the knights that is the eventual undoing of the round table  the flesh wins out over the spirit  and the consequences are dire  bresson is an intensely personal filmmaker most interested in the interiors of mens hearts and minds   lancelot of the lake  is filled with his particular trademarks  a strippeddown  minimalist style  flat  expressionless dialogue  and a grand use of natural sounds in place of music  he uses background music only twice in the film  during an opening narration segment and during the opening credits  the music here is a heavy drumbeat and accompanying bagpipes  but the rest of the film is scored with natural sounds that punctuate the films thematic elements  the incessant clanking and creaking of heavy armor  the neighing of horses  the rhythm of hooves beating down dirt roads  and the natural chirping and whispering of the forest  like most of his other films  bresson employed nonprofessional actors who recite the dialogue in emotionless  flat voices  all the actors he used in  lancelot of the lake  had never acted before  and with the exception of patrick bernhard  they never acted again  never once do they raise their voices or put any emphasis on a given word  instead of using vocal inflection  bresson strove to create emotion through images  in some ways  this technique works  in other ways  it doesnt  the final montage of arthurs men battling each other is quite marvelous  and the final image of the knights in shining armor reduced to a literal scrappile sums up the entire film in one moment  however  other times bressons uncompromising methods are distracting and questionable  for instance  during an important jousting contest  bresson films the majority of the action so that the only things visible are the horses legs  he does this repeatedly  opening each shot with the same few notes from a bagpipe and the raising of a different flag  while there might be symbolic value in this  the resulting experience of watching it can be bothersome  nevertheless   lancelot of the lake  is a fascinating cinematic experience boldly made by a master filmmaker  bressons style may not be for everyone  but one has to respect his strength as an artist  by reevaluating the arthurian legends and making them his own  he turns  lancelot of the lake  into something rare in modern cinema  a truly personal film  
pos	capsule  the best place to start if youre a jackie chan newcomer  roars along  never stops for breath  and frequently hilarious  to talk about jackie chan as a  stuntman  is to miss a million things  jackie is not only one of the most accomplished and fearsomely unafraid physical adepts on the screen today  but also a very funny guy  he reminds me of the way arnold schwartzenegger  used  to make me laugh  hes funny just standing there  copping a look  supercop has jackie making us laugh  scream  duck  root  and gasp for breath  often all in the same scene  its actually the third in a loosely related series of movies  each with jackie playing kevin chan  a hong kong policeman who has a knack for getting neckdeep into trouble and then karatekicking his way out of it   the others are also worth seeing   its a little slow to start  but once it gets moving  its a field day  the movie has a fairly sophisticated plot for movies of this kind  kevin is tapped for a dangerous dea assignment to be accomplished in mainland china  which requires him to collaborate with the attractive  and asskicking  chief fo chinese security  played here by the everenjoyable michelle yeoh   theres a fun chemistry between the two of them  especially in an early scene where she tries to brief him and he keeps making wondering comments about how great she looks in that uniform  kevin is assigned to help spring a known gangster from jail  all undercover  of course  and have him lead the two of them to a noted drug boss  the drug boss  however  has problems of his own  his wifes on trial for many of his own crimes  and shes got the key to an account with all of his drug funds  this means  of course  endless trouble  not the least of which is that kevin bumps into his girlfriend while hes out in the field  and she sees him with this other woman  and    but thats one of the movies unique pleasures  the way it crosses from action to comedy effortlessly  action  there is  of course  nonstop action in this movie  everything from oneonone kung fu to allout gun battles to a sppedboat with eight engines    outrunning the hong kong coast guard  there is also a virtuoso climax  which features  among other things  jackie danging from a ladder tied to a helicopter  a wrongway freeway chase  which requires michelle to do an awesomely difficult handstand stunt   a fight on top of a moving train that also involves the copter as well as a motorcycle  you get the idea  this is to action movies what a burger with everything on it is to fast food  quick  enjoyable  filling  watch it with friends  when they stop making movies like this  the world will be a tad greyer  
pos	the calendar year has not even reached its midway point  but that hasnt prevented columbia pictures from trotting out a lavish period drama more befitting of the winter oscarbait season  bille augusts highprofile adaptation of victor hugos classic les miserables delivers everything one would expect from a classy hollywood epichandsome production values  strong performances by a topnotch cast  a literate screenplaywith one critically missing element  emotional sweep  for those not familiar with hugos original novel or the hit stage musical it inspired  the hook of les miserables essentially boils down to something like a 19thcentury frenchset version of the fugitive  after serving 19 years in a prison work camp for stealing a loaf of bread  the brutish jean valjean  liam neeson  is paroled  immediately upon release  he steals valuable silverware from a kindly bishop who takes him in for a night  he is caught by authorities  only to be forgiven by the bishop  who lets valjean keep the silver to start a new life on the straight and narrow  that he does  and in doing so breaks his parole  which sets the obsessively determined inspector javert  geoffrey rush   who was one of the guards in valjeans prison camp  on his trail  thematically  however  les miserables is a story about redemption  which valjean finds through his dealings with two women  the hardluck factoryworkerturnedprostitute fantine  uma thurman   and her illegitimate daughter  cosette  years after breaking parole  valjean becomes mayor of the town of vigau  where he forms a warm friendship with fantine after saving her from an unjust arrest by javert  valjean promises the gravely ill fantine he will rescue the young cosette  mimi newman  from her cruel caretakers  the thenardiers  and raise the child as his own  the  father  and  daughter  eventually land in paris  where the teenage cosette  claire danes  falls for dashing student revolutionary marius  hans matheson   the decadesspanning story is the stuff that cinematic epics are made of  and the danish august turns in his most accomplished englishlanguage work  following the underrated 1994 superstar soap the house of the spirits and last years stylish but highly preposterous mystery smillas sense of snow  he and screenwriter rafael yglesias bring the sprawling tale into clear focus and keep the events moving at a brisk pace  production designer anna asp  costume designer gabriella pescucci  and cinematographer jorgen persson give les miserables a sumptuous period look whose accomplishment is mostly matched by the efforts of the cast  neeson is commanding yet endearingly vulnerable  rushs finely modulated menace is far more rewarding than his overrated  oscarwinning theatrics in shine  and thurman disappears nicely into her highly unglamorous role  the younger members of the cast fare less well  danes is convincing as cosette  but her overdone lip quivering during her crying scenes becomes a distraction  and matheson  while competent  is a less interesting robert sean leonard  as technically adept and cerebrally engaging the film is  by the time les miserables was over  my emotions had only been superficially involved  while i was touched by valjeans relationships with fantine and cosette  i was not moved  not even reaching the  touching  level is the cosettemarius pairing  my only previous experience with les miserables is with the musical  as i am sure many others is   and i was dismayed to see eponine  a friend of mariuss who selflessly dies in the name of her unspoken love for him  almost completely jettisoned from this adaptation  the daughter of the thenardiers  here she is only briefly seen as a child   her presence would have added some muchneeded conflict and emotional heft to the youthful romance  but i suppose august and yglesias felt one tragic heroine  fantine  was enough  even so  as 1998 creeps into summer blockbuster season  les miserables is a thoughtful  wellmade  entertaining film  one that will sate moviegoers hungry for a dose of drama before popcorn nobrainers invade the multiplex  
pos	an entertaining 2 hours awaits the audience in this film set in the early 80s  sevigny and beckinsale play disco chicks alice and charlotte  who are on the lookout for love  alice is mousy  shy  intellectual  charlotte is bitchy  outgoing and fun  we join their adventures as they go through a variety of adventures  and men  all to the background of the local disco  whit stillman has both written and directed an interesting and believable story  alice and charlotte are both well written characters  and the actresses who play them arent bad aswell  sevigny delivers an honest performance  and makes the audience feel for her character  beckinsale plays extreme bitch personified  yet her character never becomes completely unlikeable  the huge supporting cast also play a part in making sure this movie is thoroughly entertaining  the dialogue is sharp and well written  with many funny set pieces  for example  theres a great discussion about lady  the tramp by the main characters  the disco tunes playing in the background also make sure that this admittedly long film is good fun  the direction is good  bringing out the drama and comedy in the scenes  but their are slight flaws with the movie  firstly  although it is supposedly set in the 80s  the characters are very  very 90s  the way they dress and act have a very 90s feel to them  although the male hairstyles look slightly 80s  frankly the 80s atmosphere just wasnt conveyed  which is a shame  also  as mentioned above  the film is too long  and some parts do lag  the charm of the characters do help these moments  but generally the editing could of been a bit tighter  the plot also sidetracks into a silly cocaine dealing bust  which seemed out of place in this movie  finally  their are almost too many characters in the film  and despite the running time  the film never really spends enough time on them  some of the characters are very slight  which is a shame  the conclusion  while funny  is also surprisingly weak  and certainly not strong enough  but despite these qualms  the last days of disco is a funny  warm movie  which is certainly worth seeing  and is a fitting homage to the disco era of the 80s  worth a look  overall rating review by david wilcock  1998  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
pos	gordon fleming  peter mullan  is in a bind  he has a new  unexpected baby and his business  hazardous material removal  is in danger of going under  when he and his crew get a job opportunity at the longabandoned danvers state hospital  he underbids the competition to secure the contract and promises to get the threeweek job done in one  it will prove to be a fateful week for them all in  session 9   gordo gets the job to remove asbestos and other hazardous materials from the spooky old mental hospital in preparation for relocating town offices there  their guided tour of the facility by a local official  bill giggs  paul guilfoyle   brings them through some of the creepier parts of the former asylum  but  a job is a job and  if they finish in a week  as promised  there is a 10000 bonus in store  as they get down to their work  things  normal and not so normal  begin to happen  gordon hears a disembodied voice beckoning him  phil  david caruso  is conflicted working with a guy  hank  josh lucas   who is seeing his old girlfriend  mike  coscreenwriter steven gevedon  has discovered a cache of audiotapes and transcripts from old psychiatric sessions  hence  the title  with inmate mary hobbs  a multipersonality patient with a dark secret  gordos nephew  jeff  brendan sexton iii   suffers from night phobia and is afraid to venture into the dark bowels of the hospital  as the agreed upon week draws to an end  hank mysteriously disappears from the workplace after a nocturnal confrontation with someone  something   in the hospital  tensions mount and distrust build among the rest as they watch their chance for the bonus start to slip away  but  there is more  much more  at stake as the hospital and its history of insanity weigh on them all  i dont want to give away too much of the story of  session 9   so ill stop there  what we have here is a spooky horror flick that uses none of the jumpoutatyoufromthedark cheap shots that have become part and parcel with horror films since the advent of  halloween  and  friday the thirteenth   there is no cat leaping out of the dark or the shock of suddenly seeing oneself in a strategically placed mirror  with the exception of one shadowy and chilling image at one point spooky interlude in the film  there is little that you can get your arms around as far as what  specifically  is  frightening   as i watched  session 9  i became aware of the subtle things that built up during the story that make it a true horror movie  the striking highdefinition video camera work by uta briesewitz  who worked with the director  brad anderson  on his  next stop wonderland   helps to build up tension with closeups  fluid camera movement and odd angles in a way that would make alfred hitchcock proud  music  too  is used to intense effect  joining with the camera to make simple scenes frightening  even horrifying  couple these tech feats with an intelligent story that uses elements of  the shining    the blair witch project  and  even  the texas chainsaw massacre  and you get a decent  intriguing horror flick  additionally  the brilliant decision to shoot at danvers state hospital gives the film another starring character  the institution itself  which lends even more chills to the equation  acting is another factor that raises  session 9  above the usual dreck presented in recent horror hits like  scream    i know what you did last summer  and their sequels  those films took goodlooking  though generic  young actors and actresses and put them to use to build up a body count  substituting mayhem for real horror  anderson opted  instead  to use mature  experienced actors like peter mullan and david caruso to fill his characters shoes and the difference in casting quality is notable  mullan  in particular  puts an arc on his character  gordon  as the troubled guy who slowly and inexorably falls under the pressures of family  job and  finally  danvers state hospital  the rest of the small cast fit the bill as people  not just fodder for the mayhem  david caruso  as gordos senior man and near equal in the business  shows just how good an actor he is  he made the jump from tvs  nypd blue  to film far too soon and his decisions in the roles he took  ill never forget the horrendous  jade   were less than star making  he rolls his sleeves up and does the job well here  gevedon  lucas and sexton are more than fodder  too  the only problem with  session 9  lay in the uninspired ending  it takes on a fairly conventional finale that covers old ground and is a bit of a disappointment after the terrific  and inspired  build up  the pleasure is getting there and i wish that anderson and gevedon had kept up the steam they had so ably built during the bulk of the film  session 9  is an unusual feat  it is scary  doesnt use cheap tricks and raises goose bumps with its intelligently rendered  subtle horror  because of the local interest of danvers  it should do well with the northeast crowd  i hope it gets the national distribution it deserves  i give it a b  
pos	the latest epos from lars is a blast  although a rather moody one  this lovestory is situated in a small town in the rough dreary cliffs in the vestern part of scotland in the 1970 something  the church  calvinistic  is so strict that the church bells has been removed from the clocktower  they are considered being too unrestrained  in these surroundings we find the tobeweds jan and bess  played by stellan skarsgaard and the remarkable new movie actress emily watson  jan is on leave from the oilrig and bess   is just bess  a bit naive and innocent  in every aspect of the word   at first  at the wedding party we are told an anecdote  illustrating her infinite kindness  she once lend a bike to an stranger  her best friends bike however  but bess is suffering in this scary religious society  we soon take part in a funeral where a man  fallen off the orthodox path  is laid to rest while doomed to hell  women are not allowed to attend funerals or speak up in the church  when the end of the honeymoon approaches we see bess idolizing jan in such an intend  almost manic  that her friends try to calm her down a bit  the time has come when jan is to return to the rig  bess is falling into the darkness of depression  her yelling of grief and sorrow are heard above the breaking of the waves  she cant stand the thought of life without her husband  we witness her dialogues with god  she speaks both parts  paranoia   convincing god to return jan from the oilrig  and her prayers are heard  an accident on the rig bring him back  paralysed from the neck and down  now he cant satisfy her need for physical love  he try to persuade her into finding a lover  with the ulterior motive to make her describe these affairs to him in every detail  at first she resist  but her love for jan and his assurance that this will make him recover more rapidly make her comply  imagine what this is doing to the poor girl  the story is cleverly divided into eight chapters parted by beautiful pictures made by danish artist per kirkeby  accompanied by music from the era  procol harum  deep purple  trex and others  the use of handheld camera and lack of any makeup make the characters solid and help to separate this movie from others in the sentimental genre  the incredible performance from the actors makes the movie brilliant  though a bit too gloomy for my taste  i would say that it is in the genre of betty blue  37  2 le matin  and bitter moon  lunes de fiel   emily watson as bess and katrin cartlidge as her best friend dodo deliver outstanding performances  this must be the reason for giving it the  grand prix du jury  in cannes this year  although we had hoped for the  palme dor    the screenplay is now available in print  the transformation being made in the period from ultimo may to july  just in time for the danish premiere  
pos	anastasia contains something that has been lacking from all of the recent disney releases     especially hercules     emotion  all the wacky characters voiced by celebrities and fantastically animated adventure sequences arent going to hold anyones interest unless there is an emotional core to hold it all together  not since disneys beauty  the beast has there been such a compelling animated film with interesting characters and drama that works  the story of the romanov family  the rulers of russia  and their downfall begins the film  anastasia  one of the daughters  narrowly escapes the mad monk rasputin  voiced by christopher lloyd  with her grandmother  voiced by angela landsbury   but anastasia gets lost  and grows up with no memory of her royal origins  the grandmother lives in paris  hoping to someday find her beloved anastasia  the only member of the family to survive the russian revolution  a young woman named anya  voiced by meg ryan  runs across dimitri  john cusack  and vlad  kelsey grammar   who are trying to put together a scheme to create an anastasia to fool the grandmother and get the reward money  they pick anya to pose as their princes  and of course  it is soon revealed that anya is in fact the lost anastasia  dimitri realizes that he can never win her love as he is a commoner  and meanwhile  rasputin is not dead  and plots his revenge against the last romanov  the plot is actually quite well structured  there are a lot of complexities that may have to be explained to the kids later  but it moves along fast enough that theyll never have time to be bored  what this really means is that the adults wont be bored by it either  there is a great deal of banter between anya and dimitri that is very funny  and their relationship develops quite naturally as the film progresses  there is  of course  lots of comedy for the kids  including rasputins pet bat  bartok  hank azaria   who is easily the funniest thing in the film  however  the comical scenes never distract from the drama  but are worked into the plot almost seamlessly  the animation is gorgeous  the characters seem to come to life through the talented animators  not since beauty  the beast have animated characters had so much life to them  even without the voices  they act  the musical number in paris is a showstopper  with some of the backgrounds rendered in an impressionist painting style  as with all recent animated features  there are songs  however  these songs do more than just provide fodder for top40 singers to get on the radio  although there are three of them during the end credits   the songs are all very catchy  and advance the plot  instead of just being showpieces  except for the paris number  but thats so much fun  its okay      i cant reccomend anastasia highly enough  its a wonderful film that ranks right up there with other animated classics  kids and adults alike will enjoy it  and its also nice to have a quality animated feature film from another studio besides disney  
pos	i can hear the question already  what on earth do these two movies have in common  to most people  not a lot  except that both are by renowned directors  as i saw them  however  both movies have flawed romantic scripts wrapped in distinctive packaging of lavish visuals musical numbers  but oh  how differently the packages affect their films  while  everyones  production numbers make an otherwise ordinary woody tale something special  jane campions imaginative visuals only serve to emphasize how pompous and uninvolving laura jones script is  i left  everyone says i love you  not remembering a lot about who loved whom  but its infectious happiness put a grin on my face  i left  the portrait of a lady  not remembering a lot about who loved whom  and i could have cared less   everyone  features nothing allen hasnt done before storywise  woody is again desperately in love with a beautiful woman  roberts   and against the odds they manage to click for awhile before allen is left wondering what went wrongagain  similar situations happen to his family and friends  some of the more outlandish comedy scenes even hark back to his  early  funny  films  the scenes between tim roth and drew barrymore could have come out of  take the money and run   his directorial debut  however  nothing allen has ever done prepared me for this oneofakind display of sheer good spirits  in fact  in this movie  the feeling itself is whats most important  yes  the movie would have been betteramong his very best  i thinkif it had a meatier story  but what it lacks in substance it makes up for in feeling  and what better way to express feeling than through music  love is often best expressed in a song  and the numbers the cast break into here cut straight to the heart  some are a tad too goofy  such as the number where a lot of ghosts prance around in a funeral parlor  but i admired allen for even putting them in there  it also helps that as usual  allen has a topflight cast working with him  their singing voices range from quite good  goldie hawn  to not quite good  allen  to literally unlistenable  barrymore  whose real voice was dubbed by a professional   but while their vocal abilities differ  all the actors do a great job of putting joy up there on the screen  and making it rub off on the audience  granted  some people will simply never accept characters singing in movies  but for those attuned to it  this film should work wonders  jane campion  too  has a topflight cast working for her in  portrait of a lady   too  but even their considerable skills can do nothing to keep the film from being a stilted  virtually lifeless mess  albeit a visually interesting one  campion and her cinematographer stuart dryburgh come up with a great variety of eyefilling images that linger in the mind  unfortunately  what didnt linger in the mind for me was the story the visuals were supposed to be reflecting  i remember very well shots of a train with its light beaming and shots of men vanishing around nicole kidman  but i can remember very little of what happened between all these people  even worse  i dont find myself feeling bad that ive forgotten  the problem  i think  lies not with the cast  which seemed to be trying very hard for the material  it was the script that couldnt convince me to care about anyone  the characters were putting out all kinds of emotion  but i found no reason to connect with any of them  i understood that the story was about cold  emotionally vacant characters  but for me to care about them  i have to identify with them somehow and want them to inject feeling into their lives  jones script never simply gave me that opportunity  in the end  it almost seemed as if campion was trying to inject some life of her own into the proceedings with her visual flourishes  unfortunately  as she kept painting these dazzling pictures  they only served to push me further away from the material and remind me that there was no connection between me and the film  in the end  the movies one strength ended up hurting it  so here we have two films with pretty uninteresting plots  and yet i was able to truly enjoy one of them  why  with both films  my head cared about neither story  but only  everyone says i love you  was able to make my heart sing  
pos	youve got to think twice before you go see a movie with a title like maximum risk  the title is generic  its meaningless  and i cant believe its good business  when you pick up the phone and dial 777film  how in the world are you supposed to remember that the new jeanclaude van damme movie  the one that looked kind of cool in the trailers and is directed by some chinese hot shot  is called  geez  maximum risk  yuck  the movie itself deserves your attention  for sweet bloody thrills  this one beats the summer blockbuster competition handsdown  only mission  impossible came close to delivering as skillful a thriller  and ill give maximum risk the edge simply because its not as slick as the tom cruise picture  and therefore more gratifying in its execution  much to my surprise  van damme continues to develop as a pleasant  unpretentious action hero  his track record isnt as solid as schwarzeneggers  but hes a hell of a lot more adventurous than arnold  in 1993  van damme worked with hong kongs premier hardcore action director  john woo  on a fairly lame movie called hard target   if you can find a bootleg copy  woos radically different directors cut is much better than what was eventually released   this followup is directed by ringo lam  city on fire  full contact   whose hong kong films are distinguished action pictures that have consistently played second fiddle to woos more operatic offerings  the surprise here is that maximum risk is a more effective hollywood action flick than either hard target or woos subsequent broken arrow  heres the rundown  van damme plays a french cop named alain moreau who is shaken when a policeman friend  jeanhugues anglade  finds a corpse thats alains exact double  turns out alain was separated at birth from his twin brother  michael  who has been killed by some russian heavies  and some strangely american looking cops   alain does some investigating  he finds that michael had booked a flight to new york city  and received a message from someone there named alex bohemia  assuming michaels identity  alain flies to new york and gets tangled up with michaels girlfriend  natasha henstridge   the fbi  and the russian mob in little odessa  thats as much as you need to know  the story is adequate  but not overly involving  and the major plot points are basically explained to you twice  just in case you go out for popcorn at the wrong moment  theres a love story  too  but i didnt find it terribly convincing  partly because exmodel henstridge is too highstrung in her highprofile debut  she had precious few lines as the alien ice queen in species   shes great to look at  and she can certainly read a line  but what she does here cant really be described as  acting   of course   acting  isnt really what she was hired for  i lost track of whether her shirt comes off more often than van dammes   the movie is exceptionally violent  bordering on gratuity   keep that in mind when planning your date   the stunts are spectacular  and the fact that you can spot van dammes standin makes his work no less impressive  theres only so much you can do with a car wreck  but this movie makes crisp  effective use of pileups in a handful of frenzied destruction derbies  and lam has a surprising  innovative sense of exactly where the camera should go to catch any bit of action  the main difference between lam and woo  i believe  is that while woo relies on sheer spectacle to gas up his action show pieces  lam has figured out more about using cinematic space and doublebarreled points of view to make things run  dont get me wrong  when chow yunfat soars through space pumping bullets out of two pistols and chewing on a toothpick with glass and confetti littering the air around him in woos hardboiled  its an amazing moment  but its a moment thats hard to reproduce in hollywood   for one thing  hollywood doesnt yet have chow yunfat   while woos hollywood movies look like the work of a talented upstart  maximum risk is a surprisingly confident picture  the very first shot of the film is an awkward overhead view of a chase through the streets of a european city  but lams use of odd camera angles becomes more efficient later on  the film editing is a particularly savvy complement to lams shooting style  accentuating rather than amplifying the action  the performances could have used some fine tuning  in particular  theres an annoying  overwritten manhattan cab driver in the early scenes who should have been toned down or jettisoned completely   and the movie doesnt always overcome the limitations of its genre  the story is a little mundane  although there are some effective moments involving van dammes unrequited feelings toward the brother he never knew he had  but its not often that hollywood cranks out a truly satisfying action picture  and its doubly surprising that this one should come with a mere whisper of publicity  van damme fans should treat themselves to what may well be the mans best movie  and international action buffs will no doubt savor this flavorful hong konghollywood hybrid  
pos	in many ways   twotg  does for toughguy movies what la confidential did for police stories  theres savviness in its writing and a mature patience in allowing the material to unfold  but  i suppose  we wouldnt expect less from christopher mcquarrie  who was responsible for giving us  the usual suspects   his writing talents are still in tact as he brings to us a bloody yet intellectual tale of two unabashed but dimwitted thugs and a plan gone awry  the two goons are parker and longbaugh  ryan phillipe and benicio del toro   these two men show the hardened wear of those who have always had it tough  their troubled youths have forged two nihilistic souls who use their amazing gunplay skills to survive  given the choice of minimum wage or petty crime  theyll always choose the latter  yet  they are incredibly foolish planners  actually  these two never really have a plan  they just improvise along the way  hoping that their bravado and arsenal of guns will take care of anything that they might have overlooked  their next scheme  which they cook up about as fast as a mcdonalds burger  is to kidnap some surrogate mother named robin  juliette lewis  that was hired by some welltodo family  if all goes well  theyll receive a nice bit of ransom money and life goes on  what parker and longbaugh do not realize is that robin is carrying a baby for the chidduck family  whose patriarch is a feared crime boss  moreover  two bodyguards  nicky katt and taye diggs  constantly escort her  these two protectors find an eerie sense of pleasure when being confronted and tested in life and death situations  they would rather die than fail  thus their bravado level is equally high  but it seems that the testosterone levels of parker and longbaugh are a bit higher  and they employ some unusual but funtowatch tactics to pull off the kidnapping and to outrun the pursuers in a sort of slowmotion car chase down a series of alleyways  the next hour or so  we watch the chidduck camp regroup and assess their situation  during this time  additional plot lines come into play and more and more details are revealed  because the chidducks can not go to the police and because of the special circumstances involving the kidnapping  we are introduced to more characters that will help to influence the outcome  we discover that not everyone in the chidduck camp is loyal to the cause  as a result  there are undercurrents of a conspiracy  and elements of betrayal and subterfuge  the sepiatoned atmosphere is made all the more fascinating thanks to a terrific soundtrack which emits velvet forebodings  shrills of intrigue and crescendos that tell us of life and death situations that are about to occur  the momentum and the coolness of the film  however  begins to fizzle in the last 30 minutes  which featured an overly extended shootout where our two desperados try to make their way off with the ransom money  you can expect lots of bloodletting and an odd denouement  in fact  you may admire this film more than you like it  yet  for the most part   the way of the gun  stays on target  it feels cool with its elements of conspiracy and gunplay  and smart for its invective dialogue and tough guy poetry  
pos	marie  charlotte rampling   aberdeen   and jean  bruno cremet   sorcerer   are a comfortable  sixtyish married couple looking forward to a peaceful vacation at their second home in lit et mix  on their first  full day  marie sunbathes as jean goes for a swim  hours later  maries initiated a full scale search when jean hasnt returned  but no trace of him is found  marie returns to paris and resumes her life  including chats with jean at the end of each day in francois ozons  under the sand   maries expat british friend amanda  alexandra stewart   frantic   and her french husband gerard  pierre vernier  try to snap marie out of her denial with a dinner party  where they introduce her to the handsome vincent  jacques nolot   nenette et boni    yet marie suggests that gerard accompany her and jean to their gym the next morning  eventually marie does begin dating vincent  but she discusses him with jean and even smiles at jean  hidden behind a bedroom curtain  when she makes love to vincent  slowly  though  reality continues to chip away at maries fantasy life  her bank advises her that without access to jeans account  she needs to reduce her spending  one of her university students  shes reading virginia woolfs  the waves   turns out to be one of the young men who participated in the beach search  then police arrive asking her to identify the clothing of a body theyve found washed up from the ocean  that night  jeans not at home when she returns to their apartment  her motherinlaw  andree tainsy  cruelly insists that jean simply abandoned her out of boredom  finally  marie goes to the police  insisting on viewing the body  horrified  shes been warned it was in an advanced state of putrefaction   she laughs when handed a bagged watch  insisting that this is not her husband   under the sand  is a character study and melancholy portrait of aging  ive lost my youth   marie declares  and loss  charlotte rampling  given the chance to portray an older  yet still sexual  woman runs with it  bringing us into the mind of the character  her chemistry with bruno cremet is startlingly natural  as marie returns from her first date with vincent  she sits on the couch with jean  did he kiss you   he asks  the mood the two create is incredibly intimate and sad  ozon   water drops on burning rocks    see the sea    who cowrote the script with emmanuelle bernheim  marcia romano  and marina de van  has turned in a more mature work than his previous  creepy  see the sea   while he cleverly never lets us see jean enter the water that fateful day  leaving a number of possibilities  accident   suicide   escape   open  he definitely tips his hand towards a certain outcome  cinematography by antoine hiberli and jeanne lapoirie   water drops on burning rocks   glides around marie  their 180 shot as she initially searches the oceans horizon for a sign of jean conveys her panic  or captures ramplings exotic face in mood divining closeup  in an inventive fantasy scene  marie imagines jeans hands massaging her feet while in a state of autoarousal  his two hands become four  then more combined with her own  becoming almost a one person orgy and recalling roman polanskis  repulsion   original music by philippe rombi quietly adds to the overall melancholy   under the sand  is a unique portrait of loss  it would make an fascinating double bill with liv ullmanns  faithless  from earlier this year  another character study of a woman facing loss for different reasons  
pos	is it just me  or have disney films gradually lost their appeal  i was almost stunned by the quality of  who framed roger rabbit    a fun  unique look at a world where cartoons and people lived together   the little mermaid  harkened back to  and perhaps surpassed  the classic disney animations from the first half of the century  however  the endless stream of  the little mermaid  wannabes is getting to me  you know the spiel  a lame plot recycled from some wellknown story  colorful  almost psychedelic animation  the lead character who learns a valuable moral lesson  the comedic sidekicksidekicks  the seemingly unattainable love interest  a few catchy songs  a few injokes for adults  and the occasional out of place warnerbrotherscoyotefalloffthecliff type joke  its a formula  and like any formula  it gets tiresome  thats why im delighted to hear that disney recently picked up the international distribution rights to the works of ghibli  a japanese cartoon studio  from what ive seen of their movies   kikis delivery service  and the already englishdubbed and american distributed  my neighbor totoro    foreign audiences are in for a treat  these movies  particularly  kikis delivery service   are wonderfully original and entertaining   kikis delivery service  starts with an unusual premise  kiki  upon hearing forecasts of clear skies  decides it is time for her to leave home  this is unusual because kiki isnt a college student or a young adult making her start on the world  but a thirteen year old girl eager to begin her training as a witch  her mother is also a witch  and as thirteen is the obligatory age for such training  her parents treat her leaving understandingly and put up only token resistance  just the idea of a witch heroine may scare away some audiences  but no mention is made of the occult  and the subject is dealt with harmlessly throughout the movie  kikis mother acts as a village doctor  and kiki is able to do no more than fly on a broom  kiki must choose a city to move to  and what she chooses is the costar of the movie  a german seaport town  far removed from the country life she has been used to  initially lost in the impersonal hugeness of her surrounding  shes discouraged  and unable to support herself though her rudimentary skills as a witch  on the verge of leaving for a new town  she uses her power of flight to deliver a pacifier to a baby who dropped it  the favor eventually blossoms into her working as a courier  a onepersons delivery service  this is where the movie becomes shockingly good  kikis job is a catalyst for her realizing the beauty of the city and the world around her  the townspeople she is put in contact possess an inner worth that doesnt seem forced or artificial  but merely derived from looking at ordinary people in a different light  theyre three dimensional  impossible to quickly evaluate  possessing of faults  and understandably reserving in kindness towards a strange girl  however  each one has something about them  some interest or trait  that makes them interesting and unique  the personal beauty of the citizens is complimented by the beauty of the surroundings  the seaport town genuinely looks impressive  capturing the european charm of a medieval city adapted to the more modern needs of the 1950s  this beauty is beauty with depth  for every detail left in  dozens are only hinted at  i could probably go on all day  but i wont  suffice it to say that many of these minor details could have been the highlight of the movie  some of my favorites are kikis relationship with the bakers husband  although hes quiet  never shown speaking to kiki throughout the movie  and he initially scares her  his kindness wins her friendship  in the garage of a deliverees house can be found a vintage model t  two old ladies have a relationship evolving from masterservant to friendfriend  such details gives the impression that the beauty shown in the movie is only the tip of the iceberg  added on top of this is a lesson on the importance of selfworth  kiki initially seems to derive much of her selfworth from the beauty of her surroundings and the people around her  but an encounter with a rude girl crashes down her bewonderment  making her question the importance of such beauty  this causes kiki to lose faith in herself  however  kiki comes to realize not only the beauty of her surroundings  but the innate beauty inside her  seeing kiki regain faith in herself is marvelous  and the principal device used to do it is so sublime that i dont even want to hint at it  the ending of the movie has a subtle charm combined with a sense of awe and  ironically  the most disneyesque moment ive ever seen  if you dont hold your breath in wonder you might want to get medical attention  the movie steers free of many of the disney conventions  there is no violence  however cartoonish  no songanddance number  and kikis pet cat jiji is more a friend than a comedic sidekick  although jiji is given many funny lines and scenes  however  i would be surprised if disney doesnt give jiji more jokes  or at least the voice of some comedian  refreshingly enough  the moral lesson of the movie is not selfcontradicted  a habit disney movies have gotten into   beauty and the beast  s beautiful belle  for instance  learned that beauty was derived from a persons inside  and was then rewarded by having the beast turn into a handsome prince in snazzy clothing  kiki  on the other hand  learns to separate her wardrobe from her selfimage  and nothing more is made of her early desires for better clothing than illustrating her increased maturity at the end of the film  another difference with disney movies is in the style of animation for  kikis delivery service   not as colorful and dynamic as disney animation can be  but with a greater attention to realism and detail  it fits the movie to a t  this is particularly true with scenes of kikis flights  the extreme realism of the birds in flight near kiki is magnificent to behold  and helps these scenes capture the wonder of flight better than any other film ive ever seen  im not sure when or how this movie will be released in the united states  disney tentatively plans a theater release of  monoko hime  shortly following the summer 97 japanese release  and should start releasing the other ghibli films after that  id guess that some will be released on video and some will be theatrically released in peak seasons with no competing disney release  although the wait is unfortunate  its good to know that its being released at all  for  kikis delivery service  is definitely a movie worthy of widespread promotion and release  watch this movie  along with  man bites dog   and perhaps something by woody allen  this is the best movie ive ever seen  
pos	insane  but inspired  musical about alferd packer  the first man ever tried for cannibalism in america  as the story unfolds we learn what events led to packer  trey parker  supposedly killing and eating the five men who got lost while accompanying him through the mountains of colorado in search of gold  throughout  packer must contend with evil trappers bent on stealing his prized horse  a tribe of ute indians that doesnt seem quite on the mark  and a terrible winter storm that leads to the eventual cannibalism  parker obviously knows his musicals very well  because the viewer is also treated to some of the most maddeningly catchy songs to appear in a film  he would accomplish this again in his postcannibal  musical motion picture  south park  bigger  longer  and uncut   apart from the inherent interest of seeing a pre  south park  parker and stone in their first effort  cannibal  also offers up some pretty decent laughs  the aforementioned ute indian tribe that packers group encounters is a definite highlight  as are two rousing musical numbers about snowmen  one of which ends on a comedically deadly note   stones humphrey character steals the show  especially when complaining about the prospect of having to eat butt or revealing whats underneath his muff cap  jason mchughs character of mr  miller is the stand out performance though  as he offers a hilarious dissenting voice to the proceedings  as i mentioned before  parkers songs are very catchy  youll be hard pressed to get its a shpadoinkle day out of your head once youve heard it  incidentally  the braniff logo that appears at the end of every  south park  episode is scored with a few notes from this song   other songs youll find yourself humming include when i was on top of you  a love ballad   the trappers song  the villains leit motif   and hang the bastard  the rousing finale   thankfully  none of these songs are quite as embarrassing to find yourself singing in public as south park  bigger  longer  uncuts songs are  released as a pickup through troma studios  the film is available on videocassette and dvd  the videocassette includes an intro by the beautiful jane jensen and an interview segment with lloyd kaufman  discussing his admiration for parker and stone and the fact that they had been hired for a zucker brothers film  which turned out to be the hilarious baseketball   there are also multiple trailers for upcoming troma films  as for the dvd    well  thats a different story  probably one of the best dvd packages of the year  and potentially of all time   cannibal  the musical  the dvd is a massive achievement  presented in 1  33  1  full frame  only  the disc has the usual troma inclusions  the tour of troma  the troma intelligence test 2  trailers for upcoming releases  but where the disc truly shines is in its cannibal  specific extras  the first thing i must note is  the transfer is about as beautiful as any ive ever seen on any disc  the picture is crisp  clear  and free from any noticeable artifacts  add to that one of the funniest commentary tracks i have ever heard  featuring trey parker  matt stone  jason mchugh  dian bachar  and andy kemler getting drunker and drunker as the track continues and you still havent scratched the surface of the extras  theres also behind the scenes footage of the shooting of the film  a clip with trey  matt  and lemmy  of the band motorhead  from the film terror firmer  an index for easy location of all of the songs in the film  and finally  an index of all the songs as performed by the cast of a stage production of cannibal   its good to see this film finally get the treatment it deserves  kudos to the entire production staff at troma and aix for making one of the most entertaining dvds i have seen in a very long time  
pos	allen  star of many a brian depalma movie in the early eighties  has a brief  throwaway part towards the end of  out of sight   as the maid of a crooked financier  in keeping with her past performances  allen wears little more than a green velvet victorias secret ensemble which begs the question  did they really need a costume designer for this   out of sight  is not likely to secure ms  allen the kind of plaudits bestowed upon pam grier  who likewise returned from out of obscurity to appear in another recent elmore leonard adaptation   jackie brown   but it is intriguing to see her name kicking off the  also starring  credits given her limited screen time  the real stars of  out of sight  are george clooney   batman  robin  by way of  e  r    and jennifer lopez   selena    whose winning chemistry  coupled with steven soderberghs freezeframe directorial technique  help the film retain the charismatic charm of leonards original work  with the success of  get shorty  three years ago  filmmakers have realized that adapting an elmore leonard novel can be an easier proposition than trying to dream up a storyline from scratch  in  out of sight   clooney stars as jack foley  a career criminal who specializes in unarmed robberyhe just waltzes into banks and politely makes a withdrawal  claiming that his  partner   just another customer it so happens  will shoot the manager if the teller doesnt comply  for all of jacks niceguy charm though  hes not very lucky  his latest scam lands him in floridas glades correctional facility  federal marshal karen sisco  lopez  coincidentally arrives at the prison just as jack and his buddy  ving rhames  typically appealing  are breaking out  theres a brief struggle and jack bundles himself and karen into the trunk of the getaway car  its in these cramped confines  pressed intimately together  that jack and karen start falling for one another  the mutual attraction continues as the couple on opposite sides of the law slip in and out of one anothers grasp  karen follows jack to detroit  where hes about to pull off another heist  this time a cache of uncut diamonds from incarcerated businessman richard ripley  played by a toupeesporting albert brooks  almost unrecognizable in the prison scenes   its during this final capergoneawry that allen makes her scant appearance  clooneys range as an actor is limited  but he has undeniable charm  lopez  too  is easy on the eyes  but she demonstrates more depth in her portrayal of karen  a tough yet tender professional  she dispenses with hit men as easily as she outmaneuvers sleazy pickup artists in a bar  especially cute is a sequence in which karen fantasizes about jack in a motel bathtub  admirably supporting clooney and lopez are don cheadle as fellow felon maurice snoopy miller  steve zahn as the perennially stoned glenn michaels  and dennis farina as karens dad  who affectionately buys her a piece  add a couple of uncredited cameos from  jackie brown  cast members and  out of sight  proves to be a lot of fun  not as hip and clever as  shorty   perhaps  or as complex and colorful as  brown   but loads of fun nonetheless  
pos	synopsis  in phantom menace the galaxy is divided into power groups whose interests will inevitably collide in later sequels  there is an overarching galactic united nationstype organization called the senate presided by a weak chancellor  within the senate two camps are at odds  a bickering  isolationist alliance called the republic and their aggressive rival the trade federation  preserving law and order are a council of jedi knights who are meanwhile searching for a prophesied chosen one of virgin birth  manipulating events behind the scenes is a dangerous  reemerging clan called the dark lords of sith  so shadowy and secretive that they comprise a  phantom  menace  jedi knight quigon jinn  liam neeson  and his apprentice obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor  witness an invasion of teenage queen amidalas home planet naboo and befriend a gungan named jar jar  ahmed best   on the desert planet of tatooine the two jedi  jar jar  and amidala  natalie portman  attend a lengthy drag race involving the young boy anakin skywalker  jake lloyd   the five protagonists try to solicit help for freeing naboo by visiting the city planet of coruscant where a lot of debate and political maneuvering takes place  can they free amidalas helpless planet  opinion  on tv last night i watched young  wannabe celebs pay 400 a ticket and come running out of theaters to bask in front of news cameras  gushing with testimonials of the phantom menaces greatness in exchange for a few seconds of being on national television  given this kind of media mania i wondered if phantom menace  the most anticipated movie of 1999  could possibly live up to the extraordinary hype that preceded it  does phantom menace match the exaggerated hype  director george lucas answers   its only a movie   to me  any movie with russiansounding accents for bad guys  jamaican accents for good guys  and middle easternsounding accents for seedy gamblers accents can be expected to be more tongue in cheek than profound  visually  star wars  episode i the phantom menace  1999  is a kid show where parents can take their young ones to marvel at childfriendly cgi characters and wondrous backdrops even if the character dialogue  mostly geopolitics  is beyond the level of children  it is left to parents to patiently explain the conversation  droid origins  family lineage  the definitions of terms like blockade  appeasement  federation  alliance  symbiosis  satellitecontrolled robots et cetera  at least this much is clear  theres plenty of eye candy  and in the last few minutes its good guys and joe camel lookalikes versus a caped  horned red devil character and his mechanical hordes  weaknesses  weaknesses lie in the writing and in the performance  at first it seems like the film is to be an invasion story  but then phantom takes an hourlong detour to cover one chariot race before returning to the invasion theme  this dilutes the central story  additionally  smaller scenes seem written self consciously  as if they were added more to fill us in on extraneous background information for other movies rather than form an integral part of the present movie  veteran actors liam neeson and ewan mcgregor noticeably outperform the other acting leads  better ensemble chemistry between the five leads and background information that is central to a tight story line could have made have given phantom stronger performances and storytelling punch  strengths  on the bright side phantom menace as a bigbudget production is far ahead of the competition in terms of making whimsical creatures  worlds and vehicles appear real  the film boasts sophisticated  topoftheline visuals and quality exotic costumes  a musical score entertaining enough to stand alone  and three worthwhile sequences in the second half  bottom line  seeing the film is entertaining and informative  like a visual theme park with star wars filler information serving as dialogue between impressive money shots  we are bound to be completely inundated by star wars publicity  music and tieins for the next few months  
pos	at one point during brian de palmas crime epic scarface  the radiant michelle pfeiffer turns to a ranting al pacino and pops a question that the audience has no doubt been wanting to ask for themselves   cant you stop saying fuck all the time   fucking good question  that  it may not be an honour that instills the filmmakers with pride  but as far as i can tell oliver stones script contains the said expletitive more times than any other film in cinema history  yet it would be a shame if bad language is all de palmas scarface is remembered for  because this is a damn fine gangstar flick  the overall structure is similar to howard hawks 1932 original  but this time the scene has switched to miami  florida and our antiheros chosen vice is cocaine traffiking  pacino  sporting a thick cuban accent  gives one the best performances of his career  golden globe nominated  as tony montana  a cuban refugee with a criminal past who flees castro and comes to america to live the american dream  and live it out he does  with lashings of violence  abuse  murder and the funny white powder  from his earliest jobs as a drug runner for various middlemen  tony montana makes it clear to everyone he meets that hes not a man to be fucked  sorry   soon hes the king of the cocaine heap  but his hot head and an increasingly out of control drug addiction prove his undoing   never do your own stash   warns one character early in the film  as sure as night follows day  the emperor of miami eventually falls  writer oliver stone and director brian de palma make an explosive combination here  stones script offers solid storytelling and some fine character development  montana is fascinating  uneducated but calculating  a straight shooter who speaks from the heart  an ambitious  violent man yet one with a conscience  a man fiercely protective of his beautiful 20 year old sister  not wanting her to be sucked into the glitzy  dangerous world which he inhabits  pacino is dynamite  taking to the role with a brooding  bristling energy which in his more recent films has often degenerated into just simple overracting  pfeiffer also registers strongly as the gangstar mole with no inner life  only once does tony express real affection for her and his desire to have children  and even then you sense all he really wants is a regular screw and a beautiful object to show off to his friends  and shes happy to oblige  this isnt as meaty a role for pfieffer as sharon stones was in casino  but its an effective one nonetheless and she aquits herself well  as director  de palma sets up a number of dramatic scenes with his typical stylistic brauva  the escalating tension he creates in various mob situations  a drug deal gone wrong  an assination attempt  is often thrilling  and in this respect he is every bit the equal of scorese and coppola  where he differs from  say  coppolas godfather trilogy is in his overall treatment  coppola gives his crime sagas an operatic sweep  whereas in scarface de palma opts for a grittier feel  and it perfectly suits the material  the only major botch is giorgio moroders mostly crap synthesier score  its just not right  and unfortunately compromises the impact of some otherwise good scenes  as expected  scarface is very violent at times  but you shouldnt be watching gangster movies if that upsets you  at over two and a half hours in length its a true epic  and if youre a fan of the genre youll love f   kfilled minute of it  
pos	for any groom on the verge of proposing marriage to his girlfriend  there are certain rules that he needs to follow  firstly  fill her life with happiness and romance during the courtship  secondly  buy her a beautiful ring that glitters as brightly as her eyes  thirdly  find the perfect moment and location to propose  finally  the groomwannabe should probably get her parents blessing  of these four  the last one can be a nightmare  meeting parents is a rite of passage  fraught with unexpected questions  bouts of nervousness  the reality of being disliked  and the inability to make a positive impression  if youre lucky  things will go smoothly  but  if youre greg focker  ben stiller   everything will go wrong  and with a name like that  how could it not  when greg first meets his fianc  es father  jack byrnes  the grimacing robert deniro   greg immediately feels overwhelmed and is put on the defensive  when he tells jack that hes a male nurse  the incorrigible dad shoots back   not many men in your profession  huh  greg   its definitely not a good start  but greg is determined to win him over  and its this desire that fuels the movie  he first takes small steps such as agreeing to say grace before dinner  it doesnt matter that hes jewish  if daddy byrnes asks him to say grace  then thats what hes going to gamely do   oh god    youre such a good god   he moons  his discomfort at trying to force out a simple prayer will make you chuckle  but when jack gives him the  deniro squint   that familiar  unsettling gaze that gives deniro that aura of invincibility   its pretty hard not to grin  things get progressively worse for greg  and thats too bad because hes a genuinely likable guy with a romantic heart  eventually  he begins to try so hard that he starts to mess everything up  committing a host of gaffes that embarrass  humiliate or injure other people  its a neverending ordeal of missteps  miscues  and mistakes  he buys some champagne  but uncorking the bottle leads to disastrous circumstances  he tries to find jacks missing cat  but his method of solving the problem leads only to more trouble  and there are several other episodes  each one trumping the next in outrageousness  the more our wellmeaning beau screwed up  the more the audience groaned in sympathy  we liked greg  and  we liked this movie   meet the parents  is a farcical comedy that certainly has its moments  just sit back and watch greg get into trouble  no matter what the situation  whether its playing a harmless game of water volleyball or sneaking a smoke on the roof of the house  things will horribly go wrong  we laugh at gregs expense  but love often makes a person do dumb things  and ben stiller has the knack of playing the romantic fool  deniro is also affable  tough on the outside yet sentimental on the inside  their tugofwar is often funny  the slapstick is elaborate  and there are several topical throwaway gags  mostly targeted at the airline industry  to make this film an amusing yet smart lampoon about future inlaws from hell  
pos	i like movies with albert brooks  and i really like movies directed and written by albert brooks  lost in america and defending your life are two of my favorite comedies  his humor is of a kind that is not very prevalent in movies today  inundated as we are with films which revel in their aim toward the lowest common denominator  you will rarely see any slapstick in an albert brooks film  while the dialog will not be as oppressive as in some of the independent  talk films  which are finding their way into theaters  the situations in which his characters find themselves are ones we can often identify with  but even if we cant  brooks has the talent to make them comfortable  and therefore we laugh  teenagers and jim carrey fans probably wont find an albert brooks movie very funny  but people who look for more than what we could find on television probably will  put simply  brooks comedy is intelligent  mother is albert brooks latest film  and it does not disappoint  brooks plays john henderson  a middleaged science fiction writer just coming off his second divorce  he makes an attempt at dating  but fails miserably  he then has dinner with his brother jeff  rob morrow   a successful sports agent who seems to live the ideal life  jeff has a good job  a loving family  and most of all  a warm relationship with their mother beatrice  debbie reynolds   after dinner  john witnesses a telephone conversation between jeff and beatrice  and is at the same time amazed and sickened by how hunkydory the dialog is  in comparison  beatrice always hints at a fault in john and his career every time she talks with him  and john gives it right back to her  at the end of one of their conversations where beatrice has just picked apart johns life  she says   i love you   and john replies with   i know you think you do   the thing is  beatrice is not overt with her criticisms  but instead gives them in that mothering way which is tantamount to nitpicking and guilt loading  its the kind that goes something like   yes  dear  i think you do that wonderfully  but      it seems as though nothing he does makes her happy  theres always the big but  john believes that his mother is somehow connected to his failed relationships with women  either because of his flawed selfesteem caused by his need for validation  or perhaps because he tends to unconsciously seek out women who remind him of his mother in an oedipal manner  he comes to the conclusion that since his problems are rooted in his boyhood home  he should move back in with his mother for a while just to see what kinds of feelings come out  and by that be able to sort out why his life is the way it is   a great experiment   he calls it  brooks own brand of humor really shines in this film  especially in the interaction john has with his mother  theres a scene where john has just arrived at his mothers house  and after having driven from los angeles to sausalito  and having explained to his mother about the  great experiment   beatrice asks   now explain to me again why you dont want to stay at a hotel   she still doesnt get it  and it is absolutely hilarious  in the same scene  we get little glances at the life his mother leads when she tries to feed him food that is no longer fresh  she apparently buys in great quantities and refrigerates it until the lettuce is wilted and the sherbet is iced over  when john points out the ice on the sherbet  beatrice tells him not to worry about the protective glaze   youve named the ice   asks john  hes also surprised at the variety of items beatrice keeps in the refrigerator  such as a twentypound block of cheese   the freezer was a good invention   says john   but its not supposed to be used for everything  thats why its smaller than the refrigerator   its something most of us find strangely familiar  brooks is also a master at employing the non sequitur  for example  in defending your life  his and meryl streeps characters are in a comedy club having a discussion  when theyre finished and walk out  brooks cuts to the comic on stage who is just at the point of delivering his punch line   and so the moral is  if you have to fart  go outside   you dont know what the joke was because you couldnt hear him during the entire scene  but i must have laughed for the next five minutes  it seemed so out of context  in this film  brooks uses the same trick a couple of times to open or close a scene  i dont want to give them away  but suffice it to say they work just as well as they have in the past  johns purpose for staying with his mother is to learn  and we as the audience learn right along with him  his mother is not the fascinating type to begin with  but as john spends more time with her  we learn things about her personality and her lifestyle that give her depth  watching the character of beatrice unfold is every bit as enjoyable as the humor that accompanies it each step of the way  on screen  brooks does an excellent job playing this kind of character  you get the feeling he often believes he is the only sane person in an insane world  in a way  hes very much like yosarian of catch22  expect with something of an attitude  casting debbie reynolds as beatrice is perfect  she assumes the part with ease  even moving and speaking a little slowly  and is just so adorable its hard to get mad at her character  this only helps the audience to share the frustration john feels when dealing with her  as his first choice  brooks originally wanted to lure nancy reagan out from her acting retirement to play beatrice  but the former actress and first lady could not leave her husband  who was beginning to show symptoms of alzheimers disease  that may be just as well  since reynolds lends a softness to the character which enhances it immensely  rob morrow also does a good job at playing the younger brother who has always been mothers favorite and  for all his success in his job and family  is slowly exposed as a mamas boy  the only things that hold this movie back from being better are a couple of plot holes  a solid connection is not really made between johns troubles and his reasons for living with his mother  additionally  the end results of the experiment do not necessarily jibe with the stated goals  and although this may have been sloppy screenwriting  how can you be mad at the guy who also wrote this   beatrice  you must think im some kind of moron  john  no  i think your someone who thinks im a moron  beatrice  well  it takes one to know one  
pos	 note  there are spoilers regarding the films climax  the election  of course  we see matthew broderick  a man torn to a primal state  hes been unfaithful to his wife  lied to and manipulated his students  and by the same token theyve demeaned his masculinity  his selfrespect  his desperate attempt at changing the world  and yet  he equates the cause of his pain  his torment  with tracy flick  reese witherspoon   no matter how many students have come and gone  and disappointed him as an educator  shes the real threat  about to give in  and divulge that shes won by only a lone vote  brodericks mccalister turns in defeat  sees tracys euphoric celebration in the outside corridor and says  no  the fact that he simultaneously lusts after her ideologically further illustrates that freudian foundation of entitlement which all men  no matter how obscure  have in their relationships  a traditional expectation of success  to usurp and surpass women as a proverbial industry  she cant go higher than him  he wont allow it  and whats amazing about  election  is that every word of that criticism is drawn from a rather opaque metaphor  early in the film we learn that tracy was romantically  and then sexually  involved with a now departed teacher  its like payne and taylor  his coscreenwriter  have taken tracy  a girl desperate for friendship  loyalty  and almost perversely drawn the mythological pattern of kids who were so utterly rejected by their peers  that they found sitting at the teachers lunch table more fitting  to an unlikely extreme with her as the protagonist  and its amazing the compassion that we have  it seems so real to us  and not merely because its happened before  splashed all over the front pages  but  because of the all around  nice  persona of these people  we easily dismiss the truly wayward deeds of the characters  its with mandy barnetts  if youll be the teacher  playing winsomely over the closing credits that payne skewers the tenets of his detractors most  a final  viscous injection of bittersweet irony  sexuality  though  is not the only basis for paynes satire  or its success  it also makes a telling point about politics  friendship  and class boundaries  satire is required  or ought to be  anyway  to take itself seriously  or act so  while the audience does not  its a fine line to straddle  but some films ignore it altogether   drop dead gorgeous  leaps infuriatingly to mind   payne and taylor hit the right chord  their characters are real people  neither is perfect  but rather both of the leads are flawed  misguided individuals who retain  somewhat  noble intentions at heart  we sympathize with them  but still  as a satire  their idiosyncratic behavior  and their wrongdoing  is taken to an extreme for the audience to knowingly chuckle  but also reflect and meditate  about  minus half a point  though  for payne admitting not to having seen  ferris buellers day off   whatever  
pos	martin scorseses films used to intimidate me  because of his reputation  i felt obligated to appreciate them as deep film art rather than as great flicks  as much as i enjoyed them  i usually felt like i missed something  i learned from scorseses casino that whatever techniques he uses are merely there to enhance the story  no mystical interpretation is required to appreciate his movies  for example  in casino he uses subtitles when robert deniro and joe pesci are using code words with each other  there was no meaning more exotic than that subtitles were the most succinct way for him to tell the audience what was really going on  or toward the end  when he uses three quick dissolves to compress a scene of a car backing away from a building  again  the simple  mundane explanation is that it helped the pacing  i dont mean to say that his techniques are not creative or goodlooking  but he simply uses the best tool for the job  it shouldnt have surprised me  then  that kundun  a film about a mystical religion  actually turned out to be quite straightforward  the movie follows the life of the 14th dalai lama  the spiritual and political leader of tibet  the movies title is another name for the dalai lama which means  ocean of wisdom   his story is told in strict chronological order and there are only a few cinematic visions to embellish the literal story   one of which makes an interesting statement  pay attention to the films opening shot and watch where it is repeated   we first glimpse the dalai lama when he is two years old  his curiosity and selfassuredness capture the attention of a monk wandering in search of the new lama  a test is arranged to see if this boy really is the reincarnation of the 13 dalai lamas who have gone before  several items belonging to the previous dalai lama are laid before the boy alongside some other items  the child is asked if he recognizes any of the items as his own  the boy picks correctly  proving that he is the new  and the old  dalai lama  scorsese and longtime editor thelma schoonmaker were kind enough to allow the possibility that the child was taking his cues from the monk  before selecting an item  he would look at the monk  perhaps for some sort of confirmation  sometimes he picked right the first time  and sometimes he made a second choice  either way  whether through reincarnation or quick human perception  the tibetans were assured of choosing a boy who could be a wise  perceptive leader  from this point on  the boy is raised as the reincarnation of the lamas spirit and the future leader of a nation  it is a great weight to put on the mind of a child  in the u  s  it might be grounds for a call to social services  but the young lama accepts his destiny without any apparent emotional damage  neither the great power nor the awesome responsibility keeps him from becoming a genuinely likeable  wellrounded person  certain patterns take shape over the years  for example  the dalai lama is fascinated by technology  radios  clocks  and telescopes are some of his favorite toys  when he is old enough to accept his leadership  he makes plans to modernize isolated tibet  he also has a soft spot for creatures who are suffering or in pain  including herd animals  its nearly a running gag that he will buy sheep to keep them from being herded to slaughter  but the most ominous constant throughout his life is the presence and threat of tibets gigantic neighbor  china  tibet and its leaders prove correct in fearing china  as  first the propaganda  then the political pressure  and finally the armies  come across their common border  the chinese invasion is so successful that the lamas life is in danger if he stays  the movie ends when  after much agonizing  the dalai lama leaves tibet for india  the story doesnt lead up to a cinematic climax as strongly as most feature films do  it just doesnt fit that mold  if it were forced into such a shape it would have been a completely different movie  perhaps more like seven years in tibet  which is good in its own right   the pacing of kundun is more calm and level than that  the structure of the film is made to fit the characters and events  not viceversa  perhaps because the pace is slower  we have more time to notice the beautiful art  vestments  and architecture of tibet  a mandala   tibetan sand painting  with beautiful  vibrant colors is shown throughout the movie  the robes and hats of state are bright red and gold  the bricks are a rich reddish brown  not unlike the skin tone of the tibetans  even the touchstone pictures logo before the movie  which is usually light blue  is the red and gold of tibet  philip glass composed the music for kundun  and he was the perfect choice  for those who dont know of glass  his music is like a tibetan mandala  his building blocks are lots of small notes  tiny grains of music  which are first grouped  then repeated in patterns  these patterns create interesting textures which are themselves part of a larger composition  people wont be flocking to kundun for its great ending  or talking about its outstanding plot  but it does have a lot to offer  an interesting lifetime  exotic sights  rich cinematography  and innovative music  it gives interesting insight into tibetan buddhism and takes a warm look at the dalai lama as a person  on top of it all is the cinematic mastery of martin scorsese  who gives the film a strong  beautiful  consistent look  
pos	robert redfords a river runs through it is not a film i watch often  it is a masterpiece  one of the better films of recent years  until 1994  it was my second favorite film of all time  the acting and direction is topnotch  never sappy  always touching  a friend of mine once reported that he avoided it because  i was afraid it would just be really politically correct  and tick me off   all i could do was tell him to go in unbiased  and enjoy  it is one of the few movies that has completely reduced me to tears  but certain memories should not often be rereleased  in the last few shots  you have to cry  upon my first viewing i left bawling  it is not flawless  but it is so very good  that you cant help but be effected  the opening is dangerously nolstalgic and sentimental  watching these shots of people who have been dead so long  gives you a feeling of perspective and history observation that you will find in very few other films  martin scorsese once described the movies as a dream state  like taking dope  and immersing yourself in an alternative world  that is what a river runs through it does  it exploits the unique power of cinema to engross you and help to forget your real self  both times ive seen it  its been hard  again to quote scorsese  waking up  but the dream is lovely  
pos	richard gere is not one of my favorite actors  however  i like courtroom dramas  and this film looked good enough to take a chance on  i wasnt disappointed  it wasnt a great film  but it was interesting  and took several unexpected turns  one thing  whats with the title  not only is it extremely forgettable  it doesnt really have much to do with the film  as far as i could determine  in the long run  it will probably hurt the film  as people wont be able to think of or remember it  martin vail  richard gere  is a grandiose defense attorney  he loves the money and the fame that go along with defending  successfully  rich scum  such as mafia men and drugdealers  once he sees that the accused killer of a prominent chicago archbishop is a babyfaced alter boy  he wants in on the case  presumably for the press hell get  we soon find out that the prosecutor assigned is a former lover  janet venable  laura linney   vail himself is a former prosecutor  and quit because of tensions between himself and the district attorney  played very well by john mahoney  frasiers father on the tv series   there is an underlying theme of dichotomy in the movie  people have public faces  and private faces  we see this in the murdered archbishop  in the accused  and  most strongly  defense attorney martin vail  richard gere does a fairly good job  at first  he appears to be a money and attentiongrabbing lawyer  with no consideration of the truth  but we see another side  as he becomes a seeker of justice  and comes to believe in his client  alfre woodard  as the judge  is capable  though somewhat wasted in a standard role  laura linney also does journeyman work  nothing spectacular  but acceptable  her relationship with vail is believable  their verbal fencing adds to the film  the actor who playes vails investigator  unfortunately  i dont remember his name  is quite good  his female assistant  she looked very familiar  but i cant remember where ive seen her  was also capable  but unspectacular  the best performance in the film was by edward norton  he was excellent  as the timid altarboy turned alleged  butcher boy of st  mikes   i was impressed by the depth of the plot  there are redherrings  and deadends  that in a lesser film would lead to a predictable ending  i liked the plot twists the film took  and most of the supporting characters  thus i give primal fear a respectable b rating  
pos	 when you get out of jail  you can kill him   starring ashley judd  tommy lee jones  bruce greenwood  rated r  double jeopardy is a lurid  prepostrous thriller thats also one of the years most enjoyable  its an uncompromisingly brutal  cheerfully anarchic  hyperactive actioner that has a mission and never diverts from it  there is not a moment here when the events on screen dont have a direct bearing on the plot  once the film gets going it never stops  it has been branded as the female version of the fugitive and thats probably a correct assessment of the plot  but the film itself has little in common with the 1993 andrew davisharrison ford collaboration besides the presence of star tommy lee jones  not even bothering with character introduction  director bruce beresford floors the gas pedal from the getgo and never finds the brake  we meet  rather hastily  libby and nick parsons  ashley judd and bruce greenwood  respectively  a seemingly happy married couple  with a son matty  age 4  they go out on a sailboat one night  and after a period of some rockin sex  they go to sleep  libby hears a strange noise  wakes up and discovers that she is covered with blood  she follows a red trail to the upper deck  where she finds a knife and  out of astonishment  picks it up  at that convenient moment  the coast guard shows up and libby is arrested  her lawyer  a friend  puts up a defense in court  but though we know she is innocent  the evidence against her is too compelling  her friend adopts her son and she goes to prison  once in prison  she makes a phone call to her friend  her friend gives her son the phone  nick walks in the room  little matty screams  daddy   the phone goes dead  libby realizes that the man she is imprisoned for killing isnt even dead  she gets some advice from a prisonerformer lawyer  who tells her that since the state already convicted her of killing her husband  they cant convict her of the same crime again  meaning that when she gets paroled she can kill him and they cant touch her  after a weirdly short amount of time  she gets out of parole  she is sent to live at a house with other recent parolees  under the command of parole officer travis lehman  tommy lee jones   she sets out on a mission to find her husband and get her son back  which turns out to be much more difficult than anticipated  she winds up tracking him all the way to new orleans where she finds out that he has long killed his girlfriend and her sons  adopter   double jeopardy is based on an assumption that is legally false  the law stating that nobody can be convicted twice for the same crime assumes that it is the same crime  same time  same place  same circumstances  its not like it matters  this is a rollickingly good thriller  intense  exciting  fast and furious  its silly alright  but this is the kind of film you just dont question  in some films  plausibility is everything  double jeopardy  however  is not concerned with making sense  its sole purpose is to entertain  and it does  judd helps the film tremendously in a difficult role  this is her breakout boxoffice performance  and she is terrific  she brings some emotion to what could have been a onedimensional role  giving the movie a little soul to go along with its effective chase scenes and action set pieces  tommy lee jones basically just reprises the role for which he won an oscar in the fugitive  but the movie makes good use of his stonefaced wit  thankfully  too  double jeopardy refrains from developing a romance between libby and travis  a subplot which doubtlessly would have interfered with the films story  this is one of those movies where cops are the bad guys  and i took a sort of sick pleasure in that  the sheer anarchy of the proceedings was nothing short of wonderful  as ashley judd kicks the crap out of every authority figure in the book  after all the idealistic hollywood features featuring hero cops  deft fbi agents and the virtues of the american legal system  its great to see a movie that doesnt so much demonstrate their fallacy as it delights in their failure  double jeopardy is really good  but it isnt the kind of good that is remembered or recognized with awards  its one of those movies better viewed with the brain turned off  otherwise  your brain will be busy ruining your experience  this is a thriller that isnt concerned with being smart or plausible  instead it diverts all attention to the action  which  this year  is second to none  
pos	lets say you live at the end of an airport runway  large jetliners continuously pass over your house  rattling your windows and allowing few moments of peace  lets say the ground beneath your feet is also contaminated with toxic substances  and high voltage power lines run across steel towers only yards from your home  now lets say an airport conglomerate wants to buy your property in order to lengthen the runway  and offers you more than its worth  wouldnt you jump in the air and have your bags packed before you landed  of course you would  but what if this bit of land was your idea of paradise  and the house your castle  thats what they are to darryl kerrigan  michael caton   and although hes happy that a multinational corporation would like to buy his home  sorry  its not for sale  unfortunately  the corporation wields quite a bit of influence over the australian government  which serves darryl and his family with what amounts to an eviction notice  not about to take this lying down  darryl enlists the help of his inept attorney friend dennis denuto  tiriel mora  and makes a determined  albeit pathetic  attempt to fight back  the castle  an australian comedy by rob sitch  is perhaps one of the simplest movies ive seen in recent memory  yet also one of the funniest  in fact  it is this films reliance on simplicity which makes it so successful  the good guys and the bad guys are clear  the humor is straightforward  and the storyline is as uncomplicated as it gets  its the perfect setup for a relaxing  hilarious good time  and as much as i hate to admit it  i liked the fact that i didnt have to think all that much while watching this film  i just sat back and enjoyed myself  the situation is one weve seen before  regular joe fights back against the government  or big business  or whatever  what makes this film different is its characters  darryl thinks hes got the best life in the world  he tells his family that living next to power lines is a constant reminder of the success of mankind  he asks who would ever want to go out and eat in a fancy restaurant when hes got the meat loaf feast prepared by his wife sal  anne tenny   and he swells with pride when his son dale  stephen curry  digs a hole in the yard  steve kerrigan  anthony simcoe  constantly combs the buy and sell ads looking for  investments  like jousting sticks and overhead projectors  while wayne kerrigan is in jail  as a result of dennis denutos incompetent courtroom maneuvers  the great thing about the kerrigans is that they arent so stupid that they get annoying  theyre just a group of simpletons whose naive nature is perfectly harmless and even endearing  we look upon them with a little bit of pity  but a whole lot of affection  screenwriters sitch  santo cilauro  tom gleisner  and jane kennedy pit this lovable bunch of unlikely crusaders against a stoic court system and a condescending business conglomerate  further polarizing the extremes and deepening our feelings for the kerrigans  sympathy for their situation  the laughter they bring us  and the familys wonderful characterization  simple as it may be  leaves us with a degree of emotional investment that causes us to actually care about what happens to them  i suppose one might wonder how deep characterization can go when your characters are as inane as the kerrigans  but trust me  it works  i particularly noted that the writers did not have to use slapstick in order to get laughs  dont get me wrong  slapstick  when executed well  can be genius  its just that too often  a film will resort to its use as a shortcut to amusing the audience  not always successfully  instead  the jokes in the castle are all hinged upon the dialog uttered by these people who have no idea that they are totally skewed to the rest of the world  when they are by themselves  the are funny  and when they are with normal people  they are hilarious  one of the few problems i saw with this film was a detour taken about midway though  the kerrigans go out to a vacation spot for seemingly no reason other than to pack in a few more jokes and increase the films running time  luckily  its a funny little detour that  while slightly distracting from the films main drive  is still quite enjoyable  with all the levity abound in the castle  the film still manages to take on a pretty heavy concept  that of the innate right of a citizen to keep his property  an issue which has been bandied about in courts across the civilized world with differing outcomes  im not certain the courtroom monologue near the end of the film would actually hold up in real life  but it brings to the forefront the essence of the constitution  of australia  and certainly sounds impressive at any rate  and  for that matter  its more than i would have expected out of a light hearted film like this  
pos	in this good natured  pleasent and easy going comedy  bill murray  ghostbusters  1984  plays grumpy weatherman phil conners  who  every year  is sent to punxsutawney  p  a  to report on groundhog day  the groundhog day ceremony involves a groundhog being lifted out of a box  and if he dosent see a shadow  it will be an early spring  phil really hates the ceremony  and not even his producer rita  macdowell  can change his mind  however  fate has a cruel trick for phil  and he starts reliving groundhog day over  and over  and over  until he gradually likes it  and rita falls in love with him  groundhog day is a well written  totatly unoffensive and funny comedy  the screenwriters  director ramis and danny rubin  have written a funny  warm  but never overly senitmental comedy  although the idea of a day repeating over and over may sound tedious  there are enough good jokes to hold the audiences attention throughout the whole film  ramiss direction also helps  and although he dosent try any flash director tricks  the film is directed well enough  and the jokes are set up well  and the editing is also good  especially when it shows one part of the day over  and over again  such as when phil tries to have the perfect night with rita  the performances are also excellent  bill murray is great fun  and his transistion from cynical to happy is smooth  and delivers his lines in his usual smary style  andie macdowell is good as rita  although sometimes she is just a little bit too sweet in some parts of the film  there is chemistry between the two leads  thankfully  otherwise the whole film would probably fall part  chris elliot  as the cameraman larry  is also funny  although you have to like his goofy style  otherwise you are really going to hate him throughout this film  and it will lower your enjoyment of the film overall  the supporting cast arent bad either  with stephen tobolowsky hillarous as phils old school mate ned ryanson  and even director ramis popping up as a neurologist  in fact  there is not one dud performance in this film  and even the groundhog gets a funny scene involving a car chase  overall  there is really nothing wrong with groundhog day at all  it almost seems perfect  however  the film can get a bit soppy sometimes  and some people may get irritated by the day repeating over  and over  and over  and over  also  theres not much of an music score  and the music there is is pretty bad  but these criticisms hardly affect the audiences enjoyment at all  overall  then  groundhog day is a funny  smart  and also has some room in there for some heart  an excellent comedy  overall rating  
pos	 no man is an island   one character quotes john donne in apt pupil  effectively summarizing the movies themes  while hardly a great film  singers ambitious adaptation of kings short story  is challenging nonetheless  perhaps the most shocking aspect of this inclement psychological thriller is that a major studio got behind it  apt pupil is a bleak picture destined to be misunderstood by the masses  1984  wonderbred high school honours student todd bowden  renfro  conducts his own extracurricular investigation of kurt dussander  a nazi war criminal who fearfully fled berlin in the 1960s and was never heard from again  bowden suspects arthur denker  mckellan   the lonely german senior citizen who lives nearby  is actually a pseudonymous dussandermuch research and dusting for fingerprints proves young todds theory  bowden strikes a deal with dussander  in exchange for not revealing his identity  dussander must satisfy bowdens intense curiosity by recounting the atrocities of the holocaust from the nazi point of view  the stories he hears keep todd up at night and haunt his daydreams  but like a bystander at a traffic accident  todds desire for gory details overrides his repulsion  bowden revives in dussander feelings dormant since the end of wwii  marching in a mock uniform around his kitchen is wholly cathartic for dussander  it leads to his torture of a cat and the torment of his  student   among other things  bowden  who has taken on very hateful qualities  he kills birds and doodles swastikas on his notebook   engages the veteran in an endless game of oneupmanship  dussander stands to lose his freedom  and bowden his credibilityin effect  his postsecondary school future  all of this winds down to a fairly unpredictable  and unsettling  conclusion  one which requires leaps of faith from its audience yet is more satisfying than the source materials excessive climax  singer has yet to get keyser s  ze out of his system  his the usual suspects and apt pupil are both about evil masquerading as innocence  verbals tics and todds goldenboy reputation are plausible ruses   they showcase morally bankrupt antiheroes to whom telling the truth is not an option if they are to achieve their goals  apt pupil is a richer film than the usual suspects  a movie famous and popular partly because its plot machinations were not germane to the outcomethere was no way you could see the ending coming  as it was all a hoodwink  anyway  thankfully  singer has gotten most of the usual suspects filmschoolish geek theatrics out of his system  some scenes in apt pupil feel overdirected andor obvious  the dream sequences were extraneous   but the majority of the film is subduedand singers handling of the violent scenes is boldly restrained for a film about a murderer and a murdererintraining  mckellans and renfros performances contribute enormously to the overall success of the film  while most people will focus on british stage vet mckellans finelytuned realization  id like to single out renfros daring work  he isnt afraid to play someone largely unappealing and coldhearted  he strips his character of vanity  something many of his peers wouldnt do   can you picture kieran culkin or jonathan taylorthomas in the same role   renfro was recently charged with possession of cocainei hope he doesnt continue down that path  because he has a big future in good movies waiting for him  as guidance counsellor edward french   friend  schwimmer also deserves mention  he wants to be the parent to todd that todds own welltodo folks are not  todd  like most modern kidsand onlychildrenhas mom and dad wrapped around his pinky finger   and his sincerity makes the apt pupils blackeningheart even more apparent  but one of the films ultimate questions  are we born evil or do we learn evil   might be answered in french  whose motives are the slightest bit ambiguous  no man is an island  indeedwe all have the capacity to make the  right  or the  wrong  choices  schwimmer winningly plays one of a trio of fascinating characters who make the unconventional apt pupil laudible  october  1998  the excellent collection kings stories called different seasons spawned not only apt pupil  but the shawshank redemption  originally titled rita hayworth and the shawshank redemption  and stand by me  originally titled the body   
pos	i rented this movie with very high hopes  this movie got praise as one of the best films of 1998  and unfortunately  was not as good as i hoped  but was still very intriguing and thought provoking  first of all  the casting for this film is great  tobey maguire and reese witherspoon are the future of hollywood  they play their roles as the parker brother and sister perfectly  with a plot as unbelievable as this film  you need chemistry and honest acting from your cast  tobey and reese  bud and mary sue parker  play their roles perfectly and display their characters with honesty and believability  william h  macy  an actor i have grown to love over the past year  turns in another great performance as the tv dad who is torn over his wife  a  colored  person and his friends  the  noncolored  ones  he also displays believability and must display a certain lack of chemistry with his wife  he does this perfectly and yet again shows why he should be one of the top actors in hollywood  joan allen is equally great as betty parker  the ideal tv mom  her character is the most ambitious  she is very na  ve  and must display this well to make her character believable and she does just that  her lack of chemistry with macy  which the role calls for  and her developed chemistry with jeff daniels is terrific  and if daniels would have been as stellar as the rest of the cast  then this film would even been even better  as said before  jeff daniels gives a bad performance  his character displays the change going on throughout the town  yet he does not display it with enough conviction  his character is very confusing and he is not very believable  this film could have been elevated to a whole new level had daniels been able to give a better performance  the movie is very provocative  it challenges the issues of racism that existed in the past and that still exist today  i really was not expecting all of the elements they brought up  but they pulled them off with such flair that it was mind blowing  they demonstrate the racism issue without a hitch  but do it in a slow pace  the only major flaw in the film besides the performance by daniels is length  some films are not meant to be that long  pleasantville is one of those films  this film could have been so much better had they not moved so slowly to it  first  they are amazed by the implementation of color  then they want to have it  then they do not want to  then the war ensues between the colored and noncolored  this is all strung out over two hours  which was way too long  some movies need a lot of time  saving private ryan was a little bit under three hours long and i thought it could have used more time  this film is only two hours long  and seems much longer  length is everything in films  if you can nail down the perfect timing and pace  you can win half the battle  pleasantville can move at a good pace at times  but it is not consistent enough  overall  pleasantville is a very pleasant and provocative departure from the predictability of most films these days  i went in expecting a lighthearted film about change  i left learning an important lesson about racism and the way things change  luckily  pleasantville teaches this lesson in such a way to make it appeal to all audiences  only if it could have done in a shorter amount of time  
pos	few films in 1999 have divided the critical consensus as sharply as alan parkers adaptation of frank mccourts memoir angelas ashes  many dismissed it as an humorless  sentimentalized  uninteresting version of the hugely popular novel  others hailed it as a heartfelt  sincere portrait of the human spirit  im somewhere in between  leaning strongly towards the latter  its certainly wellmade and it never becomes tedious like some literary adaptations have a tendency to be  but i have a feeling that parker filled the movie with pseudolyrical shots of rain falling on the homely streets of ireland just so it can have the twoandahalf hour running time that screams  im important   mccourts book of the same name was about him and his family moving from the us to ireland in the early 1900s  a time when most people were desperately trying to get into the us  as he comments   we were the only irishfolk to say goodbye to the statue of liberty   in ireland  frank  played by joe breen as a small child   his 3 brothers  his mother angela  emily watson  and his father malachy  robert carlyle  get financial help from angelas mother  a stereotypically strict catholic who chides her daughter for marrying a northern irishman  she helps them get a ratinfested apartment and malachy goes looking for a job  positions are scarce and when he does finally find one  he is unable to hold on to it because of his fondness for drinking  meanwhile  frank goes to an uptight catholic school  where the instructors beat students with blunt wooden objects as often as their heart desires  two of franks brothers soon die  crippled by the dreadful living conditions and malnutrition  as if the poverty and the suffering werent intense enough as it stood  malachy and angela have another baby  worsening the situation further  i imagine this doesnt sound like much of a plot  thats probably because it isnt one  these are people  this is their story  director alan parker  the commitments  knows how to tell a good story and angelas ashes  despite its relentlessly literary tone remains interesting  though the film occasionally indulges too much in its gloomily picturesque irish setting  it avoids looking like a glorified travelogue  supplementing parkers able direction are the engaging  often poignant performances of the leads  some of them seasoned thespians  others relative beginners  carlyle  the charismatic british actor who has shown astonishing range by hopping from the lead in a rowdy slapstick comedy to the villain in a james bond movie and now to sentimental melodrama  perfectly portrays his rather pathetic character  we empathize with the guy  but we dont like or admire him  emily watson turns in a heartfelt  sincere supporting performance  it is mostly she who implants that lump in our throats  also worthy of mention is little joe breen  whose face graces the films superb poster  it is breens first feature film and hes extraordinary as young frank  not unlike sudden oscar darling haley joel osment of the sixth sense  you can peer into the characters soul through breens sad eyes  on the flip side  one thing that could have vastly improved angelas ashes is a more decisive editor  while gerry hambling sure makes the most of the scenery  he and parker also leave in at least a half an hour of unnecessary footage  the first half  especially  could have been trimmed down  bringing the film to a more reasonable running time and doing our bladders a favor in the process  things pick up at about the halfway point  sort of dismissing a lot of the criticisms i accumulated during the opening hour  but i maintain that the aggressively deliberate pace parker and co  set in the first half was ludicrously unnecessary   spoiler warning  skip next paragraph if in suspense   the films final message is somewhat conflicted  as frankie  in effect  leaves his family famished in ireland while he himself goes back to america  what  exactly  are we supposed to make of that  his mother doesnt seem to mind because she wants the best possible future for her son  as any mother would  but it still seems inconsiderate of him  i havent read the book  but im sure that mccourt justifies his actions therein  therefore  im suspicious  another thing thats never made clear in the movie is the meaning of the title  which  im sure  is also explained in the memoir  if seen as a film onto itself  rather than an adaptation  angelas ashes stands tall  despite a few minor setbacks  it is a captivating story of people forced to live in the trenches by an merciless society where those of weaker character are shoved to the bottom of the financial ladder  
pos	now that  boogie nights  has made disco respectable again  well  fashionable at least   we shouldnt be surprised to see more films glorifying that dubious era  the latest art house interpretation is whit stillmans  the last days of disco   stillman  who made  metropolitan  and  barcelona  using some of the same actors  uses discos final hours to highlight what is another conversationheavy movie that benefits from typically astute writing from the director  the young  upwardlymobile professional  dont call them yuppies   men and women of  the last days of disco  frequent a prestigious new york city nightclub pulsating to the basspounding rhythms of earth wind and fire  amy grant  and andrea true connection  here they talk and talk and talk  intellectualizing about such things as dating  success  and being liked  accepted  and admired  if talk is cheap   the last days of disco  must surely have been an extremely inexpensive movie to shoot  what makes the film so entertaining is that this preppie  harvardeducated jet set actually have something to say and say it with wit  perception  and style  including  at one point  a riotously inventive deconstruction of  the lady and the tramp    na  ve alice  chlo  sevigny  and sophisticated charlotte  kate beckinsale  are recent college graduates who work as assistant editors for a new york publishing house  charlotte is confident and outspokenperhaps a little too outspoken  alice is shy and introverted   like a kindergarten teacher   the two friends often doll themselves up and head out to the nameless nightspot  looking good and looking for excitement  and that ms  beckinsale sure looks good on a dancefloor    here they meet  or remeet  a variety of eligible men  many of whom they knew in college  des  played by stillman favorite christopher eigeman  is one of the clubs managers whose job is on the line for sneaking his ad agency buddies in the back  des has reached a crisis point in his life  he just found outlast wednesday  in factthat hes gay  whether its true or not  it makes for a convenient excuse to dump his latest girlfriend  jennifer beals in a small but soulbaring turn   charlotte observes cattily that the only gay thing about des is his mouth  jimmy  mackenzie astin  is the advertising exec who  by the end of the picture  winds up heading for a new job opportunity in spain  visions of  barcelona     josh  matt keeslar  is an assistant district attorney who dreams of being able to say  just once   book this clown   and robert sean leonard plays another one of alices revolving suitors  the two have an amusing exchange about the true definition of virginity  any film that can make robert sean leonard palatable is worthy of respect in my book  in fact  the entire ensemble is appealing in that wellspoken stillman way  while the eschewing of  ferocious pairing  is a favored topic of conversation in the film  the protagonists tend to slip in and out of love  lust  and trouble with each other in an emotional merrygoround that cleverly develops its characters through the  preferred  dynamics of social group interaction  more mature than stillmans previous two films   the last days of disco  is as consistently droll as it is stimulating  its a movie you should definitely get on down to  
pos	this has been an extraordinary year for australian films   shine  has just scooped the pool at the australian film institute awards  picking up best film  best actor  best director etc  to that we can add the gritty  life   the anguish  courage and friendship of a group of male prisoners in the hivpositive section of a jail  and  love and other catastrophes   a low budget gem about straight and gay love on and near a university campus   i cant recall a year in which such a rich and varied celluloid library was unleashed from australia   shine  was one bookend  stand by for the other one   dead heart   from the opening credits the theme of division is established  the cast credits have clear and distinct lines separating their first and last names  bryan  brown  in a desert settlement  hundreds of kilometres from the nearest town  there is an uneasy calm between the local aboriginals and the handful of white settlers who live nearby  the local police officer has the task of enforcing  white mans justice  to the aboriginals  these are people with a proud 40  000 year heritage behind them  naturally  this includes their own system of justice  key to which is  payback   an eye for an eye  revenge  usually extracted by the spearing through of the recipients thigh  brown  as the officer  manages quite well to keep the balance  he admits that he has to bend the rules a bit  including actively encouraging at least one brutal  payback    be warned that this scene  near the start  is not for the squeamish   the local priest  an aboriginal  but in the  white fellas  church  has a foot on either side of the line  he is  figuratively and literally  in both camps  ernie dingo brings a great deal of understanding to this role as the man in the middle  he is part churchman and part politician  however the tension  like the heat  flies and dust  is always there  whilst her husband  the local teacher  is in church  white lady kate  milliken  and her aborginal friend tony   pedersen  have gone off into the hills  he takes her to a sacred site  even today strictly menonly  she appears to not know this  tony tells her that this is a special place  an initiation place  he then makes love to her  surrounded by ancient rock art  the community finds out about this sacrilegious act and its payback time  the fuse is lit and the brittle interracial peace is shattered  everyone is affected in the fall out  to say more is to give away the details of this finely crafted film  suffice to say its a rewarding experience  bryan brown  acting and coproducing  is the pivotal character  his officer is real  human and therefore flawed  brown comments that he expects audiences to feel warmth towards the man  then suddenly feel angry about him  it wasnt long ago that i visited central australia  ayers rock  uluru  and alice springs  for the first time  the widescreen cinematography shows the dead heart of australia in a way that captures its vicious beauty  but never deteriorates into a moving slide show  in which the gorgeous background dominates those pesky actors in the foreground  the cultural clash has provided the thesis for many a film  from the western to the birdcage  at least three excellent australian films have covered the aboriginal people and the line between them and we anglosaxon invaders   jedda    the chant of jimmie blacksmith  and  the last wave   in a year when the race debate has reared up in australia  it is nourishing to see such an intelligent  nonjudgemental film as  dead heart   the aboriginal priest best sums this up  he is asked to say if he is a  black fella or white fella   
pos	i think the first thing this reviewer should mention is wether or not i am a fan of the xfiles  first  let me assure you that no prior experience with the series is required to fully enjoy this movie  the producers are not stupid  making a movie just for fans of the series is not profitable  you have to reach for a larger audience  therefore  the movie is quite userfriendly  altough  nonfans will only fail to understand certain emotions behind the looks many characters exchange  but fear not  duchovny and another man later on provide more than adequate background info on what is going on  you will never feel as if you just walked in on the third act of some great opera  in any case  the answer is no  i am not a fan of the xfiles  i only watch it when nothing else is on and i prefer millennium  however  since the fox network as been so kind as to air several key episodes for several weeks before the movies opening weekend i took that opportunity to test the movie  i taped all of these episodes and watched them only after seing the movie  i am glad to report that i learned nothing new  everything you need to know is explained to the viewer by duchovny and others  i know i am going maybe a bit too far to make my point but everybody should get the chance to experience this movie  warning  major spoilers follow  please do not read to fully enjoy this movie  you must not be able know what is coming  what exactly is over that hill and what that weird  hummm  sound is all about  you have been warned  the xfiles is what a summer should be  exciting  scary  great special effects  unlike other summer movies the effects do not take over the movie and are only there when it is really necessary  and good performances  this is coming from a guy who thinks david duchovny is the human equivalent of a wooden plank  from start to finish  this movie does not let go of you  when i compare it with last summers movies the best way to describe it would be  take the excitement and great score from faceoff and the deadly use of sound from event horizon  this flick is scary  not in a b movie kind of way where you always know where and when the critter will jump at our heroes  in fact  the first time the critter in this movie makes an apperance it is totally out of the blue  you might as well bring ear plugs because this thing is louuuudd  the last time a monster scared me that much was when i first saw aliens as a six year old kid  you know  when you are affraid to put your feet on the floor because the creature might be under the chair  or when you keep trying to cover your throat with your shirt  so yeah  the xfiles is scary  and guess what  you never even have to see the monster but your imagination works overtime and it sure beats having to watch a flawed  computer generated  babyzilla  it looks like you could walk right through it not even scarier than your grandma in undies type of monster  do not think that the xfiles is a monster movie  in fact  the creature is there for maybe three minutes total  no  the xfiles is definately a mulder episode of the series  scully is at his side  of course  but gillian anderson gets maybe half the screen time  she has a couple of good scenes with duchovny  but she gets kidnapped during the last half hour of the movie so she does not get to do much  no  this is mulders time in the spotlight  by now  you have heard of the scene where mulder  showers  independence day  if you have not then i will not spoil it for you  lets just say that due to recent events mulder should be  showering  godzilla instead  to those of you wondering if mulder discovers that the truth is indeed out there    who cares   if he did find it the series would over anyway so what are you complaining about  the dialogue in interesting and the director is marvelous  the camera is almost always looking over the shoulder of our heroes so we feel as if we are right there with them when they open a door or climb a hill  the script is spotless  every thing that happens happens for a purpose  if you are confused by something  do not worry because it will all become clear later on but  and i cannot stress this enough  pay attention    unlike most summer movies  the dialogue is twice as important as the effects  miss one vital piece of information and  like most people who talk during movies  you will go home and tell all your friends how this movie made no sense  also  to those people who need to go to the bathroom during movies    dont  the person who watched the movie with me had to go twice and twice she missed an important conversation  there is no time to take a breather between scenes because  again unlike most summer movies  godzilla anybody   the xfiles does not need to fill scenes between the suspense and the action with useless subplots  every scene is crucial and serves a purpose  who needs to see the blond chiouaoua have a  big emotional scene  between godzilla attacks  so far this summer i have seen only one movie who ranks higher on my list of movies id recommend and that is the truman show but it only wins by a nose  but the truman show is not what i would call a summer movie  the xfiles is  what more do you ask from a summer movie other than the chance to be excited  cool effects  its got some  pulse pounding  hell yes  strangely enough  i think that fans of the series will hate this movie while nonfans will have a good time  it does not provide answers to the shows many questions  the status quo remains nearly the same and  no  mulder and scully do not get together  rating  four and a half out of five stars for the best movie yet this summer  several jump right out of your seat thrills  many  whoah  i never saw that one coming   moments  four  holy shit  where the hell did that come from  and one heck of an ending  you may wonder where this movie lost half a star  well  i swore never to give a movie the full five stars so i had to find something about the in his ice truck  the tracks it leaves in the snow behind him go on for several miles but then they just stop  its pretty obvious the films makers drove the truck for several miles to give the appearance that mulder had been driving for a long time  but in the end it looks like mulder just dropped from the sky and started driving  
pos	trees lounge is the directoral debut from one of my favorite actors  steve buscemi  he gave memorable performences in in the soup  fargo  and reservoir dogs  now he tries his hand at writing  directing and acting all in the same flick  the movie starts out awfully slow with tommy  buscemi  hanging around a local bar the  trees lounge  and him pestering his brother  its obvious he a loser  but as he says  its better im a loser and know i am  then being a loser and not thinking i am   well put  the story starts to take off when his uncle dies  and tommy  not having a job  decides to drive an ice cream truck  well  the movie starts to pick up with him finding a love interest in a 17 year old girl named debbie  chloe sevigny  and    i liked this movie alot even though it did not reach my expectation  after youve seen him in fargo and reservoir dogs  you know he is capable of a better performence  i think his brother  michael  did an excellent job for his debut performence  mr  buscemi is off to a good career as a director  
pos	i wish i could say that there is something more to the new star wars installment than what you see in the commercials  but there isnt  george lucas is an expert at crafting triumphant  special effectsbound flicks and he has done it again  this is the first star wars film ive seen on the big screen  so  of course  the impact was much greater than when i watched the three original episodes on video  what is compelling about the phantom menace is not its disposable story  but its amazing visuals  basically  the films plot is centered around trade disputes between two planets  quigon  liam neeson  and his young apprentice obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor  set out with the animated jarjar binks to fix the mess that may result in war  when their ship breaks down and they are stranded  they find a young boy  anakin skywalker  jake lloyd  and his slave mother  quigon strongly believes that anakin is destined for jedi greatness and immediately takes him under his wing  anakin participates in a heartpounding podrace  one of the highlights of the film  to get the equipment needed to fix quigons ship  however  most everyone is doubtful about entrusting the future to some unknown slave boy  meanwhile  queen amadala  natalie portman  is frustrated and at wits end  being na  ve and young and having so much responsibility on her shoulders  there are hardly any emotional scenes in the film even when we discover that anakin will be leaving his slave mother behind to begin jedi training  the frenzied excitement of the whole film wears down the poignancy to the size of a crumb  this does not prove that the phantom menace is poorly made for it is brilliantly made  in all the star wars films  human emotions that we  the audience  can identify with are usually nil  but the films are for pure enjoyment  not for uplifting purposes  despite the fun of watching the movie  the phantom menace is not without flaws  for starters  we have the illconceived  moronic character jarjar binks who should be considered a threat to star wars galactic society and to the audience  what a klutz  george lucas clumsily tried to create a fun character that would be as memorable as  say  yoda  r2d2  or c3po  but  alas  his efforts were in vain  secondly  this may be good or bad  depending on your point of view   the movies atmosphere is so different from the familiar comicbook feel of the previous three star wars installments  this is due  perhaps  to the utter complexity to this movies plot and the higher level of sophistication of the visual effects used here  the movie seems to be reaching for epic proportions  i cant say much about the acting  though acting has never been what you saw star wars movies for anyway  however  there is absolutely no pizzazz to the performances they are straightforward and  at times  stale  natalie portman has a great presence  but her turn as queen amadala makes the queen a stoic  unfeeling  enigma  there is nothing we can hold onto in her performance to make us believe the trade predicament is anything of importance  jake lloyd is the only actor here who has an ounce of evident spunk  despite the inevitable faults  there is so much to enjoy about the movie  the heightened excitement of the final sequences doesnt quite surpass the famous the empire strikes back climactic scenes  but they are amazing and edgeofyourseat fun in their own rite  the film is a treasure to look at  the visual effects are astonishing 99  8 of the time the aweinspiring  mouthopening  eyepopping sight of the underwater city is nothing short of production design and special effects genius  not since 1997s the fifth element has there been a film as drenched in visual treats as this one  the production design is reminiscent of the fifth element  the previous star wars movies  kubricks 2001  maybe even of fritz langs classic silent metropolis  however  all the sets are so original  the original star wars movies cant even match the grandeur of this films visuals and that is a sheer pleasure for the viewer it gives us hope of even greater things for the upcoming episode  the costumes are remarkable and have jeanpaul gaultier written all over them  whether its queen amadalas gigantic wardrobe complete with goldembroidery and feathers  or the jedis simple brown uniforms  the costume designer has fused talent with outrageousness  the costumes are one of the true delights of watching the movie  as for john williams score  i dont think hes done one as complex or powerful since  i cant even remember  it is as epic as his schindlers list score and as thrilling and zestful as jaws  it includes the bare bones of his music from the previous three films  but williams has added on  made the music much more intense and moving  what with the overwhelming hoopla that circled this movie  one might come in with high expectations and be disappointed  there is very little to hate in the film  its a very accomplished and skillfully made flick  it is the best  fun  film and the best bigbudget film out today  most definitely  
pos	lisa cholodenkos  high art   is an intelligent  quiet drama  its strongest quality  aside from the topnotch central performances  is the perceptive way in which the film  also written by cholodenko  observes its characters  they are all flawed people  some more troubled than others  but they are not judged  judging the characters in this picture would be a creative misstep on the filmmakers parts  because no one  no matter how bad off they are  deserve to be negatively judged if they are involved in some serious problems that they cannot break free of  syd  radha mitchell   a 24yearold woman living with her longtime boyfriend james  gabriel mann   has recently been awarded an ideal job at the highprofile photography magazine   frame   she very much enjoys where her career is headed  but is often not taken very seriously by her managers  who are always giving her petty jobs to do  when she knows she could be doing more important things  one night  while taking a bath  syd notices a leak coming from the apartment above hers  so when she goes up there to inform them of it  she meets lucy beliner  ally sheedy   a thin  wornout  and unhappy woman  who lives with her drugaddicted german girlfriend  greta  patricia clarkson   a pathetic former actress who is usually so outofit that she often is in and out of conciousness  syd quickly strikes up a conversation with lucy  and discovers that she used to be an acclaimed photographer ten years before  lucy claims she doesnt want to get back into the profession  but syd manages to convince the  frame  editors to do a piece on her work  all the while  syd begins to grow deep feelings for lucy  even though she has never previously been attracted to a woman  and lucy starts a battle with her personal demons   high art   is such an effective motion picture because it is never sugercoated or idealized  but instead an honest and convincing portrait of a handful of unhappy people whose lives are going nowhere  while syds luck begins to rise  the film in no way is about lesbianism  but about love  which was a refreshing change of pace from the usual stereotypical portraits of homosexuality  as lucy and syd grow closer and closer together  we really do believe that they are falling in love with each other  even if the relationship might be doomed  with this picture  ally sheedys star has risen once again  thanks to her touching  nearly flawless portrtayal of lucy  a woman who  in the course of a decade  has found her life consumed almost entirely by drugs  which has taken away her onceblossoming career  her characted really is tragic  and one particular scene involving lucy and her mother  in which lucy admits to her that she has a drug problem  and her mother matteroffactly responds by saying she cant help her  is heartbreaking  although not autobiographical  sheedy has had drug problems in her past  and i suspect she brought that knowledge of already being in lucys footsteps to her role  also very good is radha mitchell as syd  who previously starred in the slight 1997 australian comedy   love and other catastrophes   wh caught me by surprise with her performance  easily being able to pass as christina riccis older sister  mitchell obtains the same natural charisma that has made ricci so popular recently  as accurate as almost every detail is in   high art   i wish the relationship had been more tightly written involving syd and james  who  played by gabriel mann  is left with a throwaway role  by the time he finds out about syd and lucy  he disappears from the film  and i wish there had been another scene where they confronted each other  this is a very minor fault  however  in a film that is full of riches  although many of the characters are stuck in a hopeless pit of despair  syd and lucy are intelligent people who recognize their problems  the character of dominique  anh duong   the  frame  editor who decides to give syd a chance with her ideas  was also written to be far more mature than expected  and the one sex scene in the film was beautifully and originally done  for once  it did not invlove steaminess  or violent sexual activity  or gratuitous nudity  but focused on the actual characters  who love each other  and their insecurities involved in making the decision to actually have sex   high art   which won the screenwriting award at the 1998 sundance film festival  marks the superior feature film debut of cholodenko  as well as sheedys strongest  and best  role to date  
pos	the relaxed dude rides a roller coaster the big lebowski a film review by michael redman copyright 1998 by michael redman the most surreal situations are ordinary everyday life as viewed by an outsider  when those observers are joel and ethan coen  the surreal becomes bizarre  when the life is that of jeff  the dude  leboswki  the bizarre falls over the edge into the world of  whatsgoingonaroundhere   the marvelous sound of  the stranger   sam elliot  s voiceover introduces the film  at least it does until he forgets what he was going to say and gives up  the dude  jeff bridges  is described as the  laziest man in los angeles  possibly the world   although hes not so much slothful as he is relaxed  spending the last 30 years with a roach clip in one hand and a white russian in the other  he doesnt have much of a life  but hes having a good time  when asked what he does for fun  he responds  bowl  drive around and the occasional acid flashback   lebowskis passion is bowling  when hes not rolling the ball down an alley towards a strike  things just happen to him  arriving home one night  hes beaten by thugs attempting to collect money that his wife owes them  even worse  they urinate on his rug  the problem is that the dude doesnt have a wife  his assailants realize that their target is a different lebowski when they glance around at his apartment  the  big  lebowski  david huddleston  is a multimillionaire and his dudeness lives in tworoom squalor  the next day  our ragtag hero visits his namesakes mansion attempting compensation for his soaked rug  the carpet is important to him because it pulls the room together  not surprisingly since its virtually the only object there  when hes denied any money  he picks up a replacement rug off the floor  on his way out  he runs into lebowskis trophy babe wife bunny  tara reid  who offers to perform a sexual act that  according to rumor  is one of bill clintons favorites for a thousand bucks  the penniless dude wisecracks that hes heading for the cash machine  later he gets an unexpected phone call enlisting his aid in being the bag man to deliver a ransom to bunnys kidnappers  this begins the trademarked coen brothers crimesgonewrong sequences  the kidnappers are impossibly inept  the dude and his cronies are even worse  every plan goes awry  you can almost see lebowskis brain churning in slow motion as he tries to figure out the clues  thats the story  but to tell the truth it doesnt much matter  there could be almost any plot and the film would be just as entertaining  the narrative only exists so we can watch the offbeat characters and the quirky predicaments they fall into  the dudes bowling buddies walter  john goodman  and donny  steve buscemi  look like people youd see on the street but  like everything else in this film  theyre not quite what they seem  walter is a vet as stuck in vietnam as the dude is in the sixties  everything that happens reminds him of a situation in the nam  when a fellow bowler crosses the foul line but wont admit it  walter pulls a gun on him until he marks a zero on the score sheet  donny gets precious few words in between walters screaming and the dudes rambling  when he does  walter shouts him down with horrendous albeit seemingly unintentional bowling puns  donny is  out of his league  and doesnt  have a frame of reference   the film is peppered with people for whom the term  character  would be an understatement  the big lebowskis daughter maude  an avantgarde  vaginal  artist  paints while swinging naked in a leather apparatus like an sm mary martin  the kidnappers are german techno nihilist bikers  bunny lebowski is a high school cheerleader turned porno star  most impressive is john turturro in his far too small role as a hispanic bowler  as the flamenco music swells  we see him putting on his lavender hose  the camera pans up to an allpurple skintight bowling outfit with  jesus   pronounced with a  j   not an  h   embroidered on the pocket  he addresses the lane with intense seriousness and one painted fingernail  his tongue slowly snakes out and lovingly licks the glowing bowling ball  bridges works the dude as if he had been living him for decades and maybe he has  i cant think of anyone else who could have done a better job  buscemi has a limited role  but he plays it perfectly  the more that i see john goodman the more convinced i am that hes one of the treasures of our time  its odd to think that most of the world knows him only as roseanne barrs television husband  more like the coens  raising arizona  than their hit  fargo    the big lebowski  demands an open mind and even more open eyes  a mark of the coen brothers is that even with all wonderful dream sequences and the broad slapstick physical comedy on the screen  much of the humor is subtle and easy to miss  theres so much going on that frequently it disappears before you can see it  walking out of the theater  i felt that the film had something important to say  on further examination  i wasnt sure exactly what it was   if you meet jesus at the bowling alley  its not going to be what you expect    when the going gets weird  the weird go bowling   maybe theres no real message  perhaps its just a roller coaster ride through a hilarious world  maybe thats enough   michael redman has written this column for 23 years and just realized that he was so taken with the dude that he ran out of space to talk about  the man in the iron mask  starring that favorite of 14yearold girls of all ages  redmanbvoice  com is the eaddress for estuff   
pos	i dont box with kid gloves  i dont play nice  im not a nice guy  and i never  ever  go easy on a film  i consider it to be a breech of some sort of code of ethics for a movie critic  however  i do some favors  and these often come in the form of points that i hand to certain groups due to the artistic bravery  rigormortis  the production company that has been my prime example of how money does not need to motivate filmmaking  gets several of these points each time  i still  however  will not go easy on them  they recently sent me a vhs copy of their down with america trilogy  which begins  quite wittily  with a disclaimer that they are not trying to undermine america with the making of this film   and i decided to spend an hour of my day watching it  in the famous lines of many martyrs  i have no regrets  well  i do have some regrets  but that is not the point in the previous sentence  the point of it was that down with america was a film that  from a critical standpoint  did not entirely disappoint me  sure  the risky use of vhs instead of super 8mm or 16mm was a pain  and the natural light was one of the most annoying things about public access films  but the movie itself was fairly enjoyable  down with america concerns a government agent  needless murder  and a book containing everything from the unabombers manifesto to the 1995 apple computer profit report  like the previous films of rigormortis that i have reviewed  it displays an offkilter humor and intelligence  it succeeds in making me laugh where countless studio films fail  the best way to see this film would be as a parody of the countless conspiracy films that we have been drowned in since the paranoia of the 80s  a dying movement from the day they started  these paranoid thrillers had the government always covering up something and had the same favorite word  roswell   in down with america  the line roswell is highly absent  with an about ten minute running time  down with america effortlessly sidesteps every clich  that the conspiracy films fell into  makes jokes at them at the same time  and provides us with funny and memorable characters  again  i have seen movies that have gone on two hours with characters i couldnt care less about  the film  as previously stated  concerns a federal agent  peter roach   an obsessed librarian  meri stevens   a mystery man  joe kaczkowski   and two people obsessed with silence in the library  robb sherman  kevin flowers   the plot  a book containing the secrets of all anarchists is hidden in  a public library where it can be viewed by all  from there we go into a delightful parody  the federal agent claims his sovereign right to alter the truth  the librarian goes on a diatribe about the sanctity of books  we spend our time laughing at fairly idiotic jokes that are performed much too well considering the lack of coaching of the cast  although the actors and actresses are in small roles and give a whole new meaning to noname  it ends up being the noname people who do a good job  delivering better performances as comic villains than half the crap that hollywood turns out  for once  i dont have a url that i know offhand to give you as to where to locate the film online  i can only say that you should find my previous reviews of lauto and les xfiles and look up the rigormortis productions site in and of itself  its almost as much fun as the film  
pos	here is a film that is so unexpected  so scary  and so original that it caught me off guard and threw me for a loop  okay  it isnt quite original  considering it is a sequel to the box office hit species  but it certainly is smart  most films of this genre are reminiscent of those cheesy bhorror films from the 50s and 60s  and some even become them  however  as we learned with the 1995 smallbudget horrorscifi film  sometimes expectations can be shattered  a lot of criticism has gone against this film  from what i have read so far  anywayyep  all two reviews   and it makes me wonder why these types of films are automatically dismissed as gory  laughable pieces of trash  but  the thing is  it isnt  its well made  well acted  and quite intelligent  i can see most of the critics now complaining about the level of gore or the level of sexuality in the film  but the species series isnt about the lack of these elements  its about how much it can get into one film  and yet  behind it all  it has this basic premise that allows it to get away with doing so  species ii begins in the present day  though it seems to be an alternate universe  many films  especially scifi ones  create similar timelines as our realistic one  but change it to fit the films needs  species ii begins with the arrival of an american spacecraft  the excursion  landing on the surface of mars  aboard is patrick ross  justin lazard   a very bright and very handsome astronaut  patrick is the son of senator ross  james cromwell   who just wants patrick to succeed  well  it would seem that he has succeeded  landing on the surface of mars  he is the first human being to ever do so  of course  he isnt the first ever  about a billion years ago  an alien species supposedly landed on mars and destroyed the perfect living conditions that were able to sustain life  now  of course  the red planet is cold and rocky  no life lives on it  that is  no visible life  patrick  upon leaving the spacecraft and landing on the red soil  collects samples from the ground  he takes them aboard  and puts them in storage  unfortunately  one of the samples contains a form of life  and it gets loose when it is heated aboard the ship  just prior to heading back to earth  this life form creeps along the floor and inhabits the earthlings  they pass out for approximately seven minutes  and then shrug it off as nothing  because they cant even remember  they blame it on a technical malfunction  back on earth  patrick begins to have strong urges to mate with as many women as possible  as we know from the original  this is because the alien wants to breed and take over the planet  however  the children that are bred are halfhuman  as their father is  patrick is really looking for another alien to breed with  and he finds it in eve  natasha henstridge   eve was cloned from dna taken from sil  the original alien  however  this time around  most of her  alien  urges have been either decreased dramatically  or lie dormant  the project is led by dr  laura baker  marg helgenberger  reprising her role from species   and her motives seem respectable  since she was involved with the original alien attack  she wants to learn how to stop the alien should it come again  and it has  storywise  species ii is much stronger than its predecessor  but it is also much stronger than  say  aliens  hey  i love the film  but you cant tell me it was strong on story   what surprised me the most with this film was the incorporation of historical facts into the screenplay  in my search for extraterrestrial intelligence course in college  we learned about a piece of rock from mars which landed in one of the poles  this piece of rock contained fossils which may have been proof of life on mars  later  it was proven that it was not a living creature that created it   the script uses this effectively  but also manages to provide a wellbalanced plot  beginning with the first man on mars  something i have always dreamed of seeing   i was hoping that the film would turn this element into a useful starting point for the movie  and it does it quite well  the characters are all smart  and they know what to do and what not to do  the only character that seems a little cliched is the general  george dzundza   and yet  he remains logical in everything he does  there are the obvious flaws of course  mostly lying in the technical aspects  the special effects are only mediocre  and some are just plain bad  but for the most part  they remain believable  i even noticed a homage to the alien series when the mothers gave birth to alien children   also  the most realistic ones are usually the goriest  ranging from people being torn open  or someones head being blown off  however  some plot elements also may elicit laughs from the audience  including a menage a troi that is all but necessary  many people dislike the species series because all it is is an excuse for sex  nudity  and gory violence  however  i tend to disagree  what were the alien films about  and  if an alien species ever did come to earth  and their sole purpose was to destroy us  wouldnt you mate as quickly as possible with as many people as possible  my only gripe with this is during the scene where patrick goes searching for a mate in a grocery store  i didnt realize that aliens were that picky on choosing women to mate with  i just assume it is his parthuman side looking for the most beautiful one   the acting is quite good for this kind of film  it is a vast improvement over the first film  at least  the acting is the key element to this film  if it was bad  it would have lowered itself into camp  if it was good  it would have asked for comparison with films like aliens  okay  so it isnt that good  george dzundza is probably the most obvious mistake on casting  as his overthetop impersonation of a general makes him annoying and distracting  natasha henstridge is limited this time around  as she is usually enclosed in a cage  however  she does manage a very impressive performance with this aspect hindering any of her talent  oh yeah  and shes quite fun to just plain watch  marg helgenberger is immensely better this time around  and her performance is probably the best in this film  michael madsen is soso  but he isnt annoying  and he soon becomes rather appealing  with his nice cynic personality   james cromwell has a small part  but he makes it much better than what it could have been with a more incapable actor  as i say  any film with james cromwell dramatically increases in likeability  mykelti williamson gives an enjoyable performance  and he gives the film a more downtoearth feel  and  of course  justin lazard  lazard has so far been ridiculed for his performance  but i think he is effective  sure  he is wooden  but isnt that what his character is like  the moment when he touches the glass separating henstridge from him was extremely well done  due to the couples acting  species ii is rated r for strong sexuality  scifi violencegore and language  this is definitely an r rated film that young kids should not see  more than likely  they would probably have nightmares and never have sex for the rest of their lives  hell  i dont even know if i will  what is sure to be a critically lambasted film turns out to be the surprise film of the year  i probably wont see another film where i was expecting so little and got so much for quite a while  director peter medak has crafted a very suspenseful  and sometimes very scary movie out of a mediocre series  medak has also mastered the wonderful  jump   moments  and has probably the second scariest moment i have ever seen on film  scream still has the first   strong acting  smart dialogue  intelligent plotting  and a surehanded director  species ii is exactly what these films should be  entertaining  
pos	plot  this movie takes place over one day  its a rookie cops narcotics training alongside a seasoned police veteran  the rookie doesnt know much about  street justice   so the older cop teaches him about the way things work in the  real world   how even cops like themselves have to  bend the rules  and  break the law  every now and then  in order to catch the really bad guys  critique  a pretty intense little movie with solid acting across the board  some ups  some downs and a thrilling ending  despite a couple of small flaws  i really enjoyed this movie because it followed two extreme characters and put them in situations which had me wondering about what i would do if i were in their place  the film gets right into the  dirty  side of  well    the dirt on the streets  and proceeds to teach the rookie cop  and us  the audience  how things really work down there  of course  were receiving this lesson from a man who has put away a lot of scum in his time  but the things he seems to be doing arent exactly on the upandup either  and therein  lies the fun of the film  do you agree that you yourself would need to break a few small laws in order to put away the people who break the really big ones  well  as the film moves along  were given two points of view in respect to this predicament  and to me  both sides made sense at some point or another  and you gotta give a lot of credit to the screenplay for that  the director  who builds the film up wonderfully  with the darkness of the day leading to the darkness in the script  and the two actors who deliver their parts in spades  hawke  first off  because he rarely plays these  commercial  roles but does so perfectly here  with a vulnerable side which has you feeling for the bastard right off the top  and denzel  well  what can you say about mr  washington that hasnt already been said before  he comes through as per his usual highlevel style here  and gives the audience a completely different side to his talent  of which  i personally would like to see more  hes nice  hes not so nice  hes smart  hes not so smart  hes caring and hes a dog all the way  the few problems that i did have with this film included the redundant nature of the whole thing at some point  okay  we get it    you have to be nasty in order to deal with these nasty people    move on  and this one really major  coincidence  which involved a bathtub  that saved the day for one character  but seemed a little too  convenient  for my taste  i also never really understood how washingtons character got out of a certain dire predicament  only to be seen driving his car in the very next scene  but obviously these small flaws didnt taint my overall enjoyment of this tense drama  a film that gets you right into the streets  into the nooks and the crannies  and into the moral dilemma which lies between the justice system and the daytoday drug busts  see it if you want to wrestle with some of these issues yourself  see it if you want to see denzel and ethan strike up a palpable chemistry onscreen  and see it if you like holding on to your seathandles real tight during a movie  in fact  see it for the scene in which ethan hawke plays cards with a host of gangbangers alone    dang  now thats intense  wheres joblo coming from  the corruptor  710   crimson tide  910   l  a  confidential  10   lethal weapon  810   requiem for a dream  810   seven  1010   shaft  710   traffic  810  
pos	a thriller set in modern day seattle  that marked marky marks migration from the  good vibrations  and  calvin klein undie ad  guy  to mark wahlberg  thespianatlarge  and a mighty good one at that  plot  boy  wahlberg  meets girl  witherspoon   boy likes girl  girl likes boy  boy and girl begin dating  parents of girl arent crazy about the boy  girl steps to boys defense  family problems occur  girl learns more about the boy  boy goes nuts  fun ensues  critique  ever wonder what would happen if your better half turned out to be someone other than the person that you had come to cherish and love  well  if you ever have  then this film is definitely for you  it isnt the most original premise in the world  but it is handled pretty well here  and pretty quickly for that matter  a speedy 90 minutes   i think one of the main reasons this film worked for me is the groundbreaking performance by mark wahlberg  of boogie nights infamy  7  510   he completely captured all the goodness  and badness  of the main character of this film  and always kept me wanting to see more and more of him  his performance scored him a solid nomination from his core target audience  as  best villain  at the 1997 mtv movie awards   the soundtrack is also very effective in this setting  and of course  the slutty performance by alyssa milano is something we could all indulge in  look for the nice bikini and butt shots    if youre into that kind of thing  that is    i didnt much care for the fatherdavid relationship which seemed to be a little too contrived  but for the most part  i was really into this movie  then again  daddy dearest did have one of the coolest lines in the movie when his wife is asking him what the  big deal  was about his daughter dating david  his reply   the big deal is that the guy gives me the creeps  and the girl is my daughter   good point  all in all  the movie kicked some fun ass  mindless as it was  and effectively demonstrated every parents worst nightmare  mind you  i still cant tell if reese witherspoon is good looking or a douchebag  but hey  life goes on  and on a personal note  we finally decided to add some taco meat onto our nacho fiesta of usual  and let me tell you all    it was a flaming success   another firm recommendation by joe schmoe  little known facts  director james foley was the man responsible for the critically acclaimed glengarry glenross  810  back in 1992  at close range  7  510  in 1986  and even directed an episode of twin peaks in 1990  mark wahlberg stands 5  9  is born in massachusetts  dropped out of highschool  later got his ged   and was convicted of several minor felonies before starting his career as the lead singer of marky mark and the funky bunch  his brother is donnie wahlberg of new kids on the block fame  he is also testing the waters on the acting front  
pos	wow  what a movie  its everything a movie can be  funny  dramatic  interesting  weird  funny  weird and strikingly original  yep that pretty much describes this movie  it starts out like a regular movie and ends up being one of the weirdest  funniest most original movies i have ever seen  it boggles the mind and some have to wonder why we cannot get movies like this more often  besides being one of the best films of the year  being john malkovich may as well be one of the best movies ever  period  then again there are so many good movies  that one cannot pick an all time favorite  john cusack plays a puppeteer craig schwartz a man out of a job  in search of a job  his wife lotte schwartz who is played by a completely unnoticeable cameron diaz who looks like something off the streets is an animal lover and has about every kind of animal you could think of  craig finds a job as a file at the 7  floor of a business building    you have to pry open the elevator doors open before it reaches floor eight  the 7  floor is just a floor between 7 and 8  he is hired by his 105 year old boss  orsen bean  to be a filer  in his office  he discovers a little door  to which was boarded up and hidden  to his curiosity he opens it and starts to crawl toward it  he then gets sucked to the end and ends up in john malkovichs mind  fifteen minutes later he is shot out onto the side of the new jersey turnpike  he returns to tell his coworker maxine  catherine keener  that he has found a portal that will lead him into john malkovichs mind  she doesnt believe him but after she sees it it changes her mind  lotte also finds out about the portal and discovers that being someone else is good after all  john malkovich of course has no idea what is going on  and by the end of this bizarre film there are so many twists and turns  that we dont know what really happened  john cusack is outstanding and utterly believeable in a role only he himself could play  he fits the role perfectly and to me was brilliantly cast  cameron diaz is outstanding and utterly one of the worlds most prettiest women  is made up here unnoticeable and very unattractive  she however gives a very comic performance and this could easily be her best role to date  catherine keener is very funny and sexy as maxine and of course the best thing of the movie is the magic himself john malkovich who is very brilliant and this movie plays big time homage  to the master himself  the whole group combined gives us a wonderfully funny movie that is also smart and clever  spike jonze  three kings  makes his fabulous directing debut  and did a fantastic job of directing this new classic film  he lets the viewer go on the trip as well as let the viewer know they are watching a movie  by the time the ending rolled around my head was spinning from disbelief of how good this film was  the screenplay written by charlie kaufman was hilarious and often thoughtprovoking  the film also had a soft side to it and even though the ending is very surprising it is also a little sad and heartwarming  the whole movie was fantastic and had me rolling in the isles  from cameron diazs appearence to john malkovichs explorations i laughed very hard  and it may as well be as funny as as good as it gets  the funniest    there isnt a slow point in the movie  or an overused idea  there are no cliches except for the fact that this is the most original  inventie  witty  and smart movie ive seen in a long time  i found myself amazed by everything  the direction  acting  writing and the whole idea of the movie  by the end i had to wonder why hollywood doesnt want to make movies like this anymore  or why they dont  all filmmakers watch this movie and get some ideas of movies to come out  this was a surprise hit as was american beauty  being john malkovich is in the top 5 movies of the year  and in the top 10 best films ever made  it has something that no other movies playing now has  in fact it may as well be the best movie out right now  i highly recommend being john malkovich and have no doubts you will be disappointed  
pos	richard gere can be a commanding actor  but hes not always in great films  everything comes together here  gere is a big time chicago defense attorney who takes on a seemingly unwinable case in hopes of even more publicity  it doesnt go exactly as he expects  geres client  aaron  edward norton   is a shy stuttering tennessee boy who is accused of brutally murdering and mutilating a catholic archbishop  the evidence is stacked against him  he was caught running from the scene covered in the bishops blood  his bloody footprints are all over the murder scene  he has a relationship with the priest  gere talks to the boy  believes that he is actually innocent and sets about finding the real killer  despite the lawyers proclamations that he doesnt care about the guilt of his clients and that the real thrill is gambling with peoples lives  he becomes involved with aaron and is determined to free him  lots of complications and twists  the prosecuting attorney is geres former coworker and lover  they both work each others motives to their legal advantages and it gets messy  her boss had major economic dealings with the archbishop that went sour and seems to have crime connections  aaron gets weirder and weirder as the trial goes on  geres case is falling apart and he is faced with about a dozen ethical dilemmas  gere is exceptional as the welldressed reserved counselor  but just once  i wanted to see him kick back and come out of his  suit  persona  even when he loses it  you dont see very far inside  nortons aaron is convincing  he comes across as the backwoods kid misplaced in the big city  the supporting cast does a fine job of holding together the story  as with most of the effective courtroom dramas  the cinematography is crisp and rich  the story will keep you on the edge of your seat  nothing is what it seems  
pos	glorystarring matthew broderick  denzel washington  and morgan freemanis the true story of the 54th regiment of massachusetts  the first black fighting unit recruited by the north during the civil war  broderick plays robert gould shaw  the young white officer who led the black soldiers into battle  shaw  the son of welltodo abolitionists  hailed from boston high society  the letters he wrote home to his parents during the war are on display at harvard  and were  evidently  the inspiration for glory  as the film begins in 1862  shaw is a captain in the northern forces  like private eriksson  michael j  fox  in casualties of war  shaw initially is naive and idealistic about the warthat is  until his company is attacked by enemy forces  shaw experiences first hand the horror and chaos of battle  witnessing mass slaughter and receiving a minor wound himself when a bullet grazes his neck  soon after his recovery  shaw is promoted to colonel and assigned to enlist and train blacks in the war effort  glory is the story not only of colonel shaw  but also of the black soldiers who laid down their lives to free their brothers from slavery  the film periodically jumps between shaws point of view and the perspective of the black soldiers  the movie introduces us to a handful of black recruits  and we follow them from their enlistment through basic training and finally into action  the large black cast is uniformly outstanding  especially washington who is electrifying as a runaway slave with a big mouth  he is brash and pushy  always getting into trouble and always looking for a fight  his bitter  tough guy facade is really just a mask for his loneliness and vulnerability  washington provides much of the films intensity and emotional power  in one heartbreaking scene  he is whipped for allegedly deserting the army  when he removes his shirt to receive the punishment  you cringe at the sight of his back  which is riddled with ugly scars from his days as a slave  it makes your blood boil  the humiliation of the beating is far more traumatic than the actual physical pain it brings  a tear rolls down washingtons cheekand will probably run down your cheek as well  the episode becomes even more tragic when we learn that washington wasnt deserting the army at all  he left camp to look for shoes because his feet were covered with oozing sores  freeman is  as usual  a strong presence  even in a small supporting role  he plays a grave digger who has buried more white soldiers than he cares to remember  he quickly becomes a leader among the black soldiers  holding the group together and serving as a liaison to the white officers  colonel shaw recognizes freemans leadership ability and promotes him to sergeant major  making him the first black officer in the army  andre braugher makes an impressive film debut in the role of thomas searles  a free black who is one of shaws close childhood friends  searles is educated and refined  like a white man  prompting washington to nickname him  snow flake   the burning question is whether searles is tough enough to survive basic training and to kill in combat  the road from marching drills to battle action is a bumpy one for the black regiment  the soldiers suffer innumerable hardships  but somehow they never lose their morale  the army treats the black soldiers like second class citizens  subjecting them to racism and discrimination  they are paid only 10 a month  whereas their white counterparts earn thirteen  and  for a long time  they have to go without shoes  guns  or uniforms  to make matters worse  the white military hierarchy is extremely reluctant to allow the blacks into action  preferring instead to use them for manual labor  eventually  however  the regiment receives its boots  uniforms  rifles  and right to fight  thanks to the stubborn resolve of colonel shaw  shaw has absolute faith in his soldiers  and he fights tooth and nail to get them what they deserve  even if it means threatening a general with blackmail  broderick  in fact  is most convincing in the scenes where shaw stands up for the regiment  unfortunately  however  brodericks uneven performance is  in many respects  the weak link in the movie  in an effort to look more mature  broderick sports a mustache and a goatee  and throughout the film he slips in and out of a phony boston accent  he is never altogether convincing as shaw since much of the time his emotions seem forced  the film places too much weight on brodericks character and not enough on the black soldiers  who are more intriguing  glory regains lost ground with its harrowing depiction of war  the movie shows the devastation of war without resorting to the unnecessarily graphic gore which marred born on the fourth of july  glory does not try to rattle you with nauseating blood and guts  except for a few bullet wounds and one exploding head  the film  for the most part  leaves the gore to your imagination  which is not to say that the battle scenes in glory are timid  to the contrary  they are chaotic and horrifying  its just that director edward zwick  the cocreator of  thirtysomething   films them with far more subtlety and restraint than oliver stone could ever muster  the key to glory is the group dynamic among the black soldiers  the movie depicts some of  but not enough of  their customs and rituals  in one scene  for example  the soldiers motivate themselves by singing prayers around the campfire  each man has a chance to relay a few words of inspiration  a couple of the movies most touching moments involve young black children looking up to the black soldiers with awe  disbelief and pride  the regiments greatest triumph comes when the soldiers distinguish themselves in battle  thereby earning the respect of their white peers and earning the honor of leading the climactic assault on fort wagner  like any war film  glory has its share of gloom and despair  but ultimately it proves to be a truly uplifting experience and an important history lesson  a valuable reminder that despite what the history books say  or  more precisely  what they do not say   blacks played a critically important role in the norths victory over the southforever changing the evolution of america  
pos	steven spielbergs second epic film on world war ii is an unquestioned masterpiece of film  spielberg  ever the student on film  has managed to resurrect the war genre by producing one of its grittiest  and most powerful entries  he also managed to cast this eras greatest answer to jimmy stewart  tom hanks  who delivers a performance that is nothing short of an astonishing miracle  for about 160 out of its 170 minutes   saving private ryan  is flawless  literally  the plot is simple enough  after the epic dday invasion  whose sequences are nothing short of spectacular   capt  john miller  hanks  and his team are forced to search for a pvt  james ryan  damon   whose brothers have all died in battle  once they find him  they are to bring him back for immediate discharge so that he can go home  accompanying miller are his crew  played with astonishing perfection by a group of character actors that are simply sensational  barry pepper  adam goldberg  vin diesel  giovanni ribisi  davies  and burns are the team sent to find one man  and bring him home  the battle sequences that bookend the film are extraordinary  literally  there is nothing in film that has ever been recorded that will prepare you for the sheer onslaught of terrorizing violence in the films first 20 minutes  spielberg films almost the entire movie without music  leaving it up to the characters to generate emotion  and they do to perfection  the sequences in france  all of them  beginning with the battle and ending with the battle  are fabulous  especially the dialogues between the men as they walk through the hills and countrysides  trying to save private ryan  there are no words i can use to describe the true horror and power of these sequences  this is what coppola was looking for in  apocalypse now   but couldnt create  the sheer horror of these sequences all but condemn war  the performance by hanks as the leader of this gang is also extraordinary  he is head and shoulders above of the rest of the actors in the world  with his comic timing  dramatic flair  his quiet emotion that stirs an entire nation to tears  hanks is this countrys finest actor  and he proves it here  however  spielberg almost destroys his own masterpiece  with a chance to make it the one of the greatest films of all time  spielberg creates 10 minutes of purely worthless film  the sequence involving army chiefofstafff george marshall and mrs  ryan is decent  but doesnt hold up to the rest of the film  relying on wartime cliches to power it  but that is forgivable  what isnt is the bookends of the film  the cemetary sequences  the first one is quite good  a decent introduction into the lives of these men  the last sequence is atrocious  the forced emotion  accompanied by a ridiculous piece of music  is simply horrible compared to the rest of the magical film  these flaws are what downgrade  ryan  from the greatest film of our era  to the greatest war film of our era  spielberg should have trusted his own material  and he should have trusted hanks to deliver the most chilling line of the movie  to end his masterpiece right there  the use of the flag  though patriotic  is in contrast to the movies theme  the power of the bulk of the film  however  is astonishing  spielberg has truly made a wondrous work of art  that persists even after first viewing of the film  is extraordinary  this is the film of the year  
pos	truman   trueman   burbank is the perfect name for jim carreys character in this film  president truman was an unassuming man who became known worldwide  in spite of  or was it because of  his stature   truman  also recalls an era of plenty following a grim war  an era when planned communities built by government scientists promised an idyllic life for americans  and burbank  california  brings to mind the tonight show and the home of nbc  if hollywood is the center of the film world  burbank is  or was  the center of tvs world  the world where our protagonist lives  combine all these names and concepts into  truman burbank   and you get something that well describes him and his artificial world  truman leads the perfect life  his town  his car  and his wife are picture perfect  his idea of reality comes under attack one day when a studio light falls from the sky  the radio explains that an overflying airplane started coming apart    but then why would an airplane be carrying a studio light  the next day during the drive to work  the radio jams and he starts picking up a voice that exactly describes his movements  he is so distracted that he nearly hits a pedestrian  when the radio comes back to normal  the announcer warns listeners to drive carefully  his suspicion aroused  he wanders around the town square looking for other oddities  the world appears to be functioning properly until he enters an office building and tries to take the elevator  the elevator doors open up on a small lounge with people on coffee breaks  a grip sees truman him and quickly moves a paneled door  made to look like the back of an elevator  into place  two security guards grab him and throw him out  truman is really suspicious now  it gets even worse the next day when his wife  a nurse  describes an elevator accident in the building where he saw the lounge   its best not to think about it   she says  trying vainly to change trumans memory  truman becomes determined to see who or what is behind this apparently elaborate hoax at his expense  at every turn he is stopped by an amazing coincidence that just happens to keep him in his own little town  his last hope is to quell his fear of the ocean and sail to the edge of the world  you know by now that trumans life is the subject of a television program  his actions are  real  but everything else is carefully scripted  from the death of his father to the choice of his wife  truman is determined to find out what the big hoax is  meanwhile  christof  the allseeing creator of trumans world does his best to keep him unaware and happy  its sort of like westworld told from the robots point of view  or jurassic park from the dinosaurs point of view  we root for the captive of the cageworld  our protagonist is counting on  chaos theory  to help him escape his elaborate trap  the story  written by andrew niccol  writerdirector of gattaca   introduces some interesting questions  such as the ethics of subjecting a person to this type of life  or the psychological impact of learning that your entire life has all been fake  although these questions came to mind  i dont think the film itself asked them  it certainly didnt address them or try to answer them  i was particularly disappointed that the film didnt deal more with the trauma of learning ones life is a tv show  carreys performance at the end showed a smidgen of trumans pain  but i almost felt that he got over it too easily for the sake of the films pacing  earlier in the movie i found myself wondering if it would be better for truman to find out the truth or whether i should root for him to be well  the two seemed exclusive of one another  but weir and niccol didnt see it that way  perhaps its not fair to criticize a movie for what it isnt  but it seems like there were some missed opportunities here  but on its own terms  the movie is well made  sight  sound and pacing are all handled competently  much of the first part of the movie is the truman show  the scenes are all apparently shot from hidden cameras  with snoots and obstructions covering the corners of the screen  one hidden camera is apparently in his car radio  the green led numbers obscuring the lower part of the screen  the music is wellchosen and scored  the film opens with what sounds like family drama theme music  when trumans world is still beautiful and perfect  when the movie ends  the score sounds more like a frantic  driven  tangerine dream opus  while still keeping the same timbre  philip glass epic music  from powaqqatsi  permeates trumans scenes of suspicion and awakening   glass has a small cameo as a keyboardist for the show   and the pacing of the story was brisk  there was no unnecessarily long setup explaining the concept behind the truman show  just a few quick title cards  a few interviews  and then right into the show  and the movie  one of the first scenes is of the studio light falling  there was no token scene of trumans idyllic life before it falls apart  because it wasnt necessary  we pick up the story at the first sign of trouble  and no sooner  theres also no point in the movie where the plot slows down  its a quick  straight shot to the movies end  in terms of overall quality  i would compare the truman show to niccols gattaca  both films are well made with interesting stories set in interesting worlds  but neither film really felt like it capitalized on all the great ideas  neither film  clicked  and became an instant classic  nevertheless  i look forward to niccols next film  whatever it may be  
neg	plot  two teen couples go to a church party  drink and then drive  they get into an accident  one of the guys dies  but his girlfriend continues to see him in her life  and has nightmares  whats the deal  watch the movie and  sorta  find out    critique  a mindfuck movie for the teen generation that touches on a very cool idea  but presents it in a very bad package  which is what makes this review an even harder one to write  since i generally applaud films which attempt to break the mold  mess with your head and such  lost highway  memento   but there are good and bad ways of making all types of films  and these folks just didnt snag this one correctly  they seem to have taken this pretty neat concept  but executed it terribly  so what are the problems with the movie  well  its main problem is that its simply too jumbled  it starts off  normal  but then downshifts into this  fantasy  world in which you  as an audience member  have no idea whats going on  there are dreams  there are characters coming back from the dead  there are others who look like the dead  there are strange apparitions  there are disappearances  there are a looooot of chase scenes  there are tons of weird things that happen  and most of it is simply not explained  now i personally dont mind trying to unravel a film every now and then  but when all it does is give me the same clue over and over again  i get kind of fed up after a while  which is this films biggest problem  its obviously got this big secret to hide  but it seems to want to hide it completely until its final five minutes  and do they make things entertaining  thrilling or even engaging  in the meantime  not really  the sad part is that the arrow and i both dig on flicks like this  so we actually figured most of it out by the halfway point  so all of the strangeness after that did start to make a little bit of sense  but it still didnt the make the film all that more entertaining  i guess the bottom line with movies like this is that you should always make sure that the audience is  into it  even before they are given the secret password to enter your world of understanding  i mean  showing melissa sagemiller running away from visions for about 20 minutes throughout the movie is just plain lazy   okay  we get it    there are people chasing her and we dont know who they are  do we really need to see it over and over again  how about giving us different scenes offering further insight into all of the strangeness going down in the movie  apparently  the studio took this film away from its director and chopped it up themselves  and it shows  there mightve been a pretty decent teen mindfuck movie in here somewhere  but i guess  the suits  decided that turning it into a music video with little edge  would make more sense  the actors are pretty good for the most part  although wes bentley just seemed to be playing the exact same character that he did in american beauty  only in a new neighborhood  but my biggest kudos go out to sagemiller  who holds her own throughout the entire film  and actually has you feeling her characters unraveling  overall  the film doesnt stick because it doesnt entertain  its confusing  it rarely excites and it feels pretty redundant for most of its runtime  despite a pretty cool ending and explanation to all of the craziness that came before it  oh  and by the way  this is not a horror or teen slasher flick    its just packaged to look that way because someone is apparently assuming that the genre is still hot with the kids  it also wrapped production two years ago and has been sitting on the shelves ever since  whatever    skip it  wheres joblo coming from  a nightmare of elm street 3  710   blair witch 2  710   the crow  910   the crow  salvation  410   lost highway  1010   memento  1010   the others  910   stir of echoes  810  
neg	the happy bastards quick movie review damn that y2k bug  its got a head start in this movie starring jamie lee curtis and another baldwin brother  william this time  in a story regarding a crew of a tugboat that comes across a deserted russian tech ship that has a strangeness to it when they kick the power back on  little do they know the power within    going for the gore and bringing on a few action sequences here and there  virus still feels very empty  like a movie going for all flash and no substance  we dont know why the crew was really out in the middle of nowhere  we dont know the origin of what took over the ship  just that a big pink flashy thing hit the mir   and  of course  we dont know why donald sutherland is stumbling around drunkenly throughout  here  its just  hey  lets chase these people around with some robots   the acting is below average  even from the likes of curtis  youre more likely to get a kick out of her work in halloween h20  sutherland is wasted and baldwin  well  hes acting like a baldwin  of course  the real star here are stan winstons robot design  some schnazzy cgi  and the occasional good gore shot  like picking into someones brain  so  if robots and body parts really turn you on  heres your movie  otherwise  its pretty much a sunken ship of a movie  
neg	it is movies like these that make a jaded movie viewer thankful for the invention of the timex indiglo watch  based on the late 1960s television show by the same name  the mod squad tells the tale of three reformed criminals under the employ of the police to go undercover  however  things go wrong as evidence gets stolen and they are immediately under suspicion  of course  the ads make it seem like so much more  quick cuts  cool music  claire danes nice hair and cute outfits  car chases  stuff blowing up  and the like  sounds like a cool movie  does it not  after the first fifteen minutes  it quickly becomes apparent that it is not  the mod squad is certainly a slick looking production  complete with nice hair and costumes  but that simply isnt enough  the film is best described as a cross between an hourlong cop show and a music video  both stretched out into the span of an hour and a half  and with it comes every single clich   it doesnt really matter that the film is based on a television show  as most of the plot elements have been recycled from everything weve already seen  the characters and acting is nothing spectacular  sometimes even bordering on wooden  claire danes and omar epps deliver their lines as if they are bored  which really transfers onto the audience  the only one to escape relatively unscathed is giovanni ribisi  who plays the resident crazy man  ultimately being the only thing worth watching  unfortunately  even hes not enough to save this convoluted mess  as all the characters dont do much apart from occupying screen time  with the young cast  cool clothes  nice hair  and hip soundtrack  it appears that the film is geared towards the teenage mindset  despite an american r rating  which the content does not justify   the film is way too juvenile for the older mindset  information on the characters is literally spoonfed to the audience  would it be that hard to show us instead of telling us    dialogue is poorly written  and the plot is extremely predictable  the way the film progresses  you likely wont even care if the heroes are in any jeopardy  because youll know they arent  basing the show on a 1960s television show that nobody remembers is of questionable wisdom  especially when one considers the target audience and the fact that the number of memorable films based on television shows can be counted on one hand  even one thats missing a finger or two   the number of times that i checked my watch  six  is a clear indication that this film is not one of them  it is clear that the film is nothing more than an attempt to cash in on the teenage spending dollar  judging from the rash of really awful teenflicks that weve been seeing as of late  avoid this film at all costs  
neg	 quest for camelot  is warner bros   first featurelength  fullyanimated attempt to steal clout from disneys cartoon empire  but the mouse has no reason to be worried  the only other recent challenger to their throne was last falls promising  if flawed  20th century fox production  anastasia   but disneys  hercules   with its lively cast and colorful palate  had her beat handsdown when it came time to crown 1997s best piece of animation  this year  its no contest  as  quest for camelot  is pretty much dead on arrival  even the magic kingdom at its most mediocre  thatd be  pocahontas  for those of you keeping score  isnt nearly as dull as this  the story revolves around the adventures of freespirited kayley  voiced by jessalyn gilsig   the earlyteen daughter of a belated knight from king arthurs round table  kayleys only dream is to follow in her fathers footsteps  and she gets her chance when evil warlord ruber  gary oldman   an exround table membergonebad  steals arthurs magical sword excalibur and accidentally loses it in a dangerous  boobytrapped forest  with the help of hunky  blind timberlanddweller garrett  carey elwes  and a twoheaded dragon  eric idle and don rickles  thats always arguing with itself  kayley just might be able to break the medieval sexist mold and prove her worth as a fighter on arthurs side   quest for camelot  is missing pure showmanship  an essential element if its ever expected to climb to the high ranks of disney  theres nothing here that differentiates  quest  from something youd see on any given saturday morning cartoon  subpar animation  instantly forgettable songs  poorlyintegrated computerized footage   compare kayley and garretts runin with the angry ogre to hercs battle with the hydra  i rest my case   even the characters stink  none of them are remotely interesting  so much that the film becomes a race to see which one can outbland the others  in the end  its a tie  they all win  that dragons comedy shtick is awfully cloying  but at least it shows signs of a pulse  at least fans of the early90s tgif television lineup will be thrilled to find jaleel  urkel  white and bronson  balki  pinchot sharing the same footage  a few scenes are nicely realized  though im at a loss to recall enough to be specific   and the actors providing the voice talent are enthusiastic  though most are paired up with singers who dont sound a thing like them for their big musical moments  jane seymour and celine dion      but one must strain through too much of this mess to find the good  aside from the fact that children will probably be as bored watching this as adults   quest for camelot  s most grievous error is its complete lack of personality  and personality  we learn from this mess  goes a very long way  
neg	synopsis  a mentally unstable man undergoing psychotherapy saves a boy from a potentially fatal accident and then falls in love with the boys mother  a fledgling restauranteur  unsuccessfully attempting to gain the womans favor  he takes pictures of her and kills a number of people in his way  comments  stalked is yet another in a seemingly endless string of spurnedpsychosgettingtheirrevenge type movies which are a stable category in the 1990s film industry  both theatrical and directtovideo  their proliferation may be due in part to the fact that theyre typically inexpensive to produce  no special effects  no big name stars  and serve as vehicles to flash nudity  allowing them to frequent latenight cable television   stalked wavers slightly from the norm in one respect  the psycho never actually has an affair  on the contrary  hes rejected rather quickly  the psycho typically is an exlover  exwife  or exhusband   other than that  stalked is just another redundant entry doomed to collect dust on video shelves and viewed after midnight on cable  stalked does not provide much suspense  though that is what it sets out to do  interspersed throughout the opening credits  for instance  a serioussounding narrator spouts statistics about stalkers and ponders what may cause a man to stalk  its implicitly implied that all stalkers are men  while pictures of a boy are shown on the screen  after these credits  a snapshot of actor jay underwood appears  the narrator states that  this is the story of daryl gleason  and tells the audience that he is the stalker  of course  really  this is the story of restauranteur brooke daniels  if the movie was meant to be about daryl  then it should have been called stalker not stalked  okay  so we know who the stalker is even before the movie starts  no guesswork required  stalked proceeds  then  as it begins  obvious  obvious  obvious  the opening sequence  contrived quite a bit  brings daryl and brooke  the victim  together  daryl obsesses over brooke  follows her around  and tries to woo her  ultimately rejected by her  his plans become more and more desperate and elaborate  these plans include the alltime  psychoinlove  cliche  the murdered pet  for some reason  this genres films require a dead pet to be found by the victim stalked  stalked is no exception  its a cat this time  found in the shower   events like these lead to the inevitable showdown between stalker and stalked  where only one survives  guess who it invariably always is and youll guess the conclusion to this turkey   stalkeds cast is uniformly adequate  not anything to write home about but also not all that bad either  jay underwood  as the stalker  turns toward melodrama a bit too much  he overdoes it  in other words  but he still manages to be creepy enough to pass as the type of stalker the story demands  maryam dabo  about the only actor close to being a star here  she played the bond chick in the living daylights   is equally adequate as the  stalked  of the title  even though she seems too ditzy at times to be a strong  independent businessowner  brooke  dabo  needs to be ditzy  however  for the plot to proceed  toward the end  for example  brooke has her suspicions about daryl  to ensure he wont use it as another excuse to see her  brooke decides to return a toolbox he had left at her place to his house  does she just leave the toolbox at the door when no one answers  of course not  she tries the door  opens it  and wanders around the house  when daryl returns  he enters the house  of course  so our heroine is in danger  somehow  even though her car is parked at the front of the house  right by the front door  daryl is oblivious to her presence inside  the whole episode places an incredible strain on the audiences suspension of disbelief and questions the validity of either characters intelligence  stalked receives two stars because  even though it is highly derivative and somewhat boring  it is not so bad that it cannot be watched  rated r mostly for several murder scenes and brief nudity in a strip bar  it is not as offensive as many other thrillers in this genre are  if youre in the mood for a good suspense film  though  stake out something else  
neg	capsule  in 2176 on the planet mars police taking into custody an accused murderer face the title menace  there is a lot of fighting and not a whole lot of story otherwise  john carpenter reprises so many ideas from his previous films  especially assault on precinct 13  that the new film comes off as his homage to himself   0  4 to 4   john carpenter apparently believes that action scenes in which people fight something horrible are the same as horror scenes  for a writer and director of horror films  supposedly an expert on horror  it is a very bad mistake to make  ghosts of mars is called a horror movie  but it is more just a drawn out fight between humans and a surprisingly lowpowered alien menace  in addition if anybody but john carpenter had made ghosts of mars  carpenter would have grounds to sue  this film is just chock full of pieces taken from assault on precinct 13  the thing  and prince of darkness  it is  in fact  surprising that carpenter managed to fit so many pieces of his previous work into this film in such an admittedly novel way  but that still does not make for a really good science fiction experience  ghosts of mars takes place in the year 2176  mars has been mostly terraformed so that humans can walk on the surface without breathing gear  which is good for the films budget   it is never mentioned  but the gravity on mars has been increased somehow to earthnormal  again making it easier to film  society has changed a bit by that time  but it has advanced surprisingly little  apparently the culture has changed so that women are much more in positions of control  and from carpenters view  women have really made a mess of things  society has stagnated under female control so that beyond some minor technological advances society has changed less in 175 years than we might expect it to change in ten  the basic plot of ghosts of mars has much in common with that of assault on precinct 13 except that precinct 9  yes  precinct 9  has been replaced by a somewhat tacky looking rundown martian mining colony  instead of having the criminal  napolean  wilson  this film has the criminal  desolation  williams  instead of facing hoodlums with automatic weapons the police face  well  ghosts of mars  because the ghosts are somewhat alien in nature they should behave in some alien manner  but they essentially behave as human savages  in another lapse of imagination  the story is told in flashback  flashback within flashback  and flashback within flashback within flashback  ghosts of mars takes place entirely at night and is filmed almost entirely in tones of red  yellow  and black  carpenter manages to give us a powerful opening scene  showing a mining train rushing through the martian night to the sound of music with a heavy beat  sadly what follows is not really up to the buildup  the terror he creates looks a little too much like fugitive wannabes from the rock band kiss  his idea of building suspense is having a bunch of sudden jump scenes that sucker the viewer into thinking something scary is happening and then prove to be just something boring  these are standard haunted house film shock effects that require no great talent to give the audience  somewhat newer but also unimpressive are the cgi digital decapitations in some of the fights  within a short stretch of time we have seen the release of mission to mars  red planet  and ghosts of mars  after mission to mars was panned by too many reviewers it looks better and better and better as time goes by  i rate ghosts of mars a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  following the movie i showed my wife  who liked ghosts of mars moderately more than i did  carpenters classic assault on precinct 13  her comment is that it was seeing the same film twice  
neg	so ask yourself what  8mm    eight millimeter   is really all about  is it about a wholesome surveillance man who loses sight of his values after becoming enmeshed in the seedy  sleazy underworld of hardcore pornography  is it about the business itself  how  bubbling just beneath the surface of bigtown americana  theres a sordid world of sick and depraved people who wont necessarily stop short of murder in order to satisfy their sick and twisted desires  or is it about those who can  those who are in a position to influence the making of the kinds of films sick and demented people want to see  im not talking about snuff films  supposed  documentaries  of victims being brutalized and killed on camera  im talking about films like  8mm  and its director  joel schumacher  with a recent run of big budget movies to his credit  batman  robin    a time to kill    batman forever    the client  schumacher certainly has that kind of influence  is  8mm  something you really want to see  probably not  the first twothirds of  8mm  unwind as a fairly conventional missing persons drama  albeit with a particularly unsavory core  then  as its been threatening all along  the film explodes into violence  and just when you think its finally over  schumacher tags on a ridiculous selfrighteous finale that drags the whole unpleasant experience down even further  trust me  there are better ways to waste two hours of your life  nicolas   snake eyes   cage plays private investigator tom welles who is hired by a wealthy philadelphia widow to determine whether a reel of film found in her late husbands safe documents a young girls murder  welles goes about his assignment rather matteroffactly  and the pieces of the puzzle fall into place rather neatly  almost as if you dont need any specialized skills or training to do this  welles certainly makes it look easy  and cops  obviously  never look in toilet tanks for clues  the deeper welles digs into his investigation the more obsessed he becomes  like george c  scott in paul schraders  hardcore   occasionally  a little flickering sound whirs in his head like sprockets winding through a film projector  reminding him of his unpleasant task  there are hints that this is taking its toll on his lovely wife  played by catherine keener  who is frustrated by her husband spending all of his time in cleveland rather than in their ugly splitlevel home in harrisburg  pa   8mm  doesnt condemn or condone its subject matter  it just exploits it  the irony  of course  is that schumacher and  seven  scribe andrew kevin walkers vision of life in the snuff lane is limited by what they can show in an rrated  firstrun hollywood product  so we only see snippets of snuff  and a lot more footage of nicolas cage covering his face in horror  later its the turn of joaquin phoenix  whos quite good and by far the films most interesting character as adult bookstore flunky max california  to cover his face as the horrid thing is screened over and over again  all this to get to the familiar yet offensive  revelation  that sexual deviants are not  indeed  monsters but everyday people like you and me  neither super nor standard   8mm  is shocking only in its banality  
neg	thats exactly how long the movie felt to me  there werent even nine laughs in nine months  its a terrible mess of a movie starring a terrible mess of a man  mr  hugh grant  a huge dork  its not the whole oralsexprostitution thing  referring to grant  not me  that bugs me  its the fact that grant is annoying  not just adam sandlerannoying  were talking jim carreyannoying  since when do eye flutters and nervous smiles pass for acting  but  on the other hand  since when do really bad slapstick  a fistfight in the delivery room culminating in grants head in joan cusacks lapa scene he paid 60 to have included in the movie  and obscene double entendres  robin williams  the obstetrician  tells grants pregnant girlfriend she has  a big pussy   referring of course to the size of the cat hairs on her coat  but nonetheless  grant paid 60 to have the exchange included in the movie  pass for comedy  nine months is a predictable cookiecutter movie with no originality in humor or plot  hugh grant plays a successful child psychiatrist  why a child psychologist  so the scriptwriters could inject the following unfunny exchange  kid  my dads an asshole  grant  flutters eyelashes  offers a nervous smile  then responds in his annoying english accent and ithinkiactuallyhave talent attitude   could you possibly elaborate on that  kid  my dads a huge asshole  more like a hugh asshole  but thats beside the point  which is  nine months includes too many needlessly stupid jokes that get laughs from the ten year olds in the audience while everyone else shakes his or her head in disbelief  so  anyway  grant finds out his girlfriend is pregnant and does his usual reaction  fluttered eyelashes  nervous smiles   this paves the way for every possible pregnancychild birth gag in the book  especially since grants equally annoying friends wife is also pregnant  the annoying friend is played by tom arnold  who provides most of the cacophonous slapstick  none of which is funny  such as a scene where arnold beats up a costumed  arnie the dinosaur   you draw your own parallels on that one  in a toy store  the only interesting character in the movie is played by jeff goldblum  who should have hid himself away somewhere after the dreadful hideaway  as an artist with a fear of  and simultaneous longing for  commitment  not even robin williams  who plays a russian doctor who has recently decided to switch from veterinary medicine to obstetrics  has much humor  his is a onejoke character the old foreignguywhomispronouncesenglish stereotype  did someone say yakov smirnov  thats my favorite vodka  by the way   hence the line  now its time to take a look at your volvo   another nasty but unamusing joke  except this one goes right over the ten year olds heads  while the adults simultaneously groan  nine months is a complete failure  low on laughs and intelligence and high on loud  unfunny slapstick  failed jokes and other uninspired lunacy  hugh grants sunset boulevard arrest  please  no caughtwithhispantsdown jokes  may bring more people into the theaters  but they certainly wont leave with a smile on their faces  not after 90 minutes of grants nervous smiles  everything in the movie is so forced  so unauthentic that anyone with an i  q  over 80  sorry  hugh  will know they wasted their money on an unfulfilled desire  but at least they didnt spend 60 bucks for it  
neg	call it a road trip for the walking wounded  stellan skarsg  rd plays such a convincingly zombified drunken loser that its difficult to spend nearly two hours of screen time in his smelly  boozedout presence  yet this everreliable swedish actor adds depth and significance to the otherwise plodding and forgettable aberdeen  a sentimental and painfully mundane european drama  playwright august strindberg built his career on families and relationships paralyzed by secrets  unable to express their longings until the hour is far too late  thats an accurate reflection of what aberdeen strives for  focusing on the pairing of an alcoholic father  tomas  skarsg  rd  and his alienated  openly hostile yuppie daughter  kaisa  lena headey  gossip   they havent spoken in years  and wouldnt even be making the long trip from norway to aberdeen  scotland by automobile if it werent for kaisas mother  charlotte rampling  under the sand  rotting away in a hospital bed from cancer  in a soap opera twist  mother has only a few days to live   only in the movies  right   too blitzed to even step foot on a plane  tomas hits the open road with kaisa  loathing each other all the while  they make periodic stops for tomas to puke on the dashboard or pass out  whenever he isnt muttering what a rotten kid she turned out to be  despite his sloshed viewpoint  tomas recognizes that the apple hasnt fallen very far from the tree  kaisa gets nosebleeds from snorting coke  sabotages her personal relationships through indifference  and is unable to restrain her quick and vindictive temper  aint they a pair  unable to find true notes of unspoken familial empathy in the onenote and repetitively bitchy dialogue  screenwriters kristin amundsen and hans petter moland fabricate a series of contrivances to propel events forward  lost money  roving street hooligans looking for drunks to kick around  nosy cops  and flat tires all figure into the schematic and convenient narrative  by the time they reach the hospital  its time to unveil the secrets from a dark past that are not only simplistic devices that trivialize the fatherdaughter conflict  theyre also the mainstays of many a bad strindberg wannabe  this revelation exists purely for its own sake  aberdeen doesnt know where else to go  weak  unimaginative casting thwarts the pivotal role of kaisa  if lena headey were a stronger actress  perhaps aberdeen could have been able to coast on the performances and moody  haunting cinematography  rendering norway into its own pastoral ghost world  the reference to a certain superior american indie flick intentional   headeys too busy acting  using her face and furrowed brow to convey every last twitch of insouciance  if she were paying any attention to skarsg  rd  maybe shed figure out that doing less can reveal so much more  its worthwhile to compare aberdeen to an earlier film released in 2001  jonathan nossiters captivating signs  wonders  its not just because skarsg  rd and rampling played disturbed parental figures in both films  theyre not bound by ceremonial wedlock in aberdeen   the differences in the way their characters were presented is significant  in aberdeen  rampling is a luminous diva  preening and static in her hospital bed  despite skarsg  rds solid performance as tomas  his pathetic drunk is never given much of a chance to emote anything besides catatonic sorrow  theres genuine ferocity and sexually charged frisson during their understated confrontations in signs  wonders  allowing them to suggest a gray zone of complications that accompany torn romance and years of stifled curiosity  nossiters film thoroughly explores this neurotic territory in addition to delving into the americanization of greece and the use of mysticism as an illusion to deflect pain  if signs  wonders sometimes feels overloaded with ideas  at least its willing to stretch beyond what weve come to expect from traditional drama  aberdeen is never half so ambitious  content to sleepwalk through the rhythms and timing of other movies  when did character driven stories stop paying attention to the complexities of real life  the depressing answer can be found in lawrence kasdans trite but occasionally useful grand canyon  where steve martins hollywood mogul pronounces   all of lifes riddles are answered in the movies   even foreign films are taking that advice to heart  
neg	plot  a young french boy sees his parents killed before his eyes by tim roth  oops    i mean  an evil man  he vows revenge on that man and is taught the ways of the musketeer by some old dude who used to be one himself  anyway  fourteen years go by and    arrgh  well  you know the rest    swishswishzzzzzzz  critique  this is a pretty bad movie  lets see  where should i start  okay  first of all  the story is just plain boring  its not original  is entirely predictable and lacks energy  okay  whats next  acting  you say  hmmmm  well  the main actor  justin chambers  is basically an uncharismatic version of chris odonnell but with less range  think about that    and mena suvari  is just plain off  not as bad as thora birch was in dungeons  dragons  but entirely miscast  with bad deliveries  awful sequences and a pisspoor accent that comes and goes  now im not sure if this was ms  suvaris fault or the directors  but ive definitely seen her at a much higher level than in this film  the only semisaving grace actorwise is tim roth as the irrepressible  bad guy   but once again  its not something that we havent seen before    a thousand times    by the same guy   tim  please    for the love of god  beg your agent to ask the marketplace for some modern day  american roles  for you as a  nice guy  in a romantic comedy or something  stretch  dude    stretch   we all know that you can do much better than this gunk  alright  what else was bad in this film  oh yeah  the score  yikes  hows about taking it down a few notches there  fellas  this thing blares in your ear whenever it feels the need to accentuate a certain scene  but actually does little more than annoy  i think its important for the man behind the music to recognize that this film isnt a  real epic  by any stretch of the imagination  its a fluffy rehashed cakewalk created by some  shrewd  studio heads who decided to take advantage of the whole  kungfu  phenomenon in films  and test it out on an old classic  dudes    you failed all around   keep reading  the editing is also pretty shoddy in this movie  the dialogue banal and stilted and the plot problems    plentiful   why does the guy on top of the horse carriage just stand there when his opponent takes forever scampering his way back to the top  why dont they just cut the mouseketeers rope at the top of the tower  instead of jumping down on their own chords and fighting him while hanging  why doesnt anybody look a day older  when the sequence says  14 years later    at least    change your shirt  man   keep in mind that i have never strayed away from championing certain movies that are created simply for the sake of a  fun time   but this flick just didnt cut it for me  it was boring for stretches  the acting was atrocious at times  the  romantic  scene between suvari and chambers next to the lake reminded me of plays in high school which made you cringe   there was little reason to care for anyone and since when were the musketeers fat  i will give the movie this much  and that is that its main reason for being  its  raisondetre   as the french would say   its fight sequences  do come through despite the lack of their numbers in the film  i was hoping that the movie would be packed with cool stuntwork as promoted in its trailer  but what you see there  are essentially the snippets from the two major  and cool  swashbuckling sequences from the film  the first comes right at the beginning of the movie  while the other essentially finishes the film off  hanging from the tower and juggling off ladders  the ladder sequence itself is a definite keeper but unfortunately the rest of the movie is just regurgitated crap  and can anyone please tell me how catherine deneuve got her name placed at the top of this films credits  hullo  the film is called the musketeer and stars a dude name justin chambers  deneuve is barely in this movie  ugh  just another small thing that annoyed me about this trash  now say it together  gang   all for one  and one for all    we vow to stay away from it all    thank me later  wheres joblo coming from  a knights tale  710   american outlaws  510   crouching tiger  hidden dragon  710   the matrix  810   the replacement killers  610   romeo must die  310   shanghai noon  610  
neg	best remembered for his understated performance as dr  hannibal lecter in michael manns forensics thriller  manhunter  scottish character actor brian cox brings something special to every movie he works on  usually playing a bit role in some studio schlock  he dies halfway through the long kiss goodnight   hes only occasionally given something meaty and substantial to do  if you want to see some brilliant acting  check out his work as a dogged police inspector opposite frances mcdormand in ken loachs hidden agenda  cox plays the role of big john harrigan in the disturbing new indie flick l  i  e   which lot 47 picked up at sundance when other distributors were scared to budge  big john feels the love that dares not speak its name  but he expresses it through seeking out adolescents and bringing them back to his pad  what bothered some audience members was the presentation of big john in an oddly empathetic light  hes an eventempered  funny  robust old man who actually listens to the kids problems  as opposed to their parents and friends  both caught up in the highwire act of their own confused lives   hell have sexforpay with them only after an elaborate courtship  charming them with temptations from the grownup world  l  i  e  stands for long island expressway  which slices through the strip malls and middleclass homes of suburbia  filmmaker michael cuesta uses it as a  pretty transparent  metaphor of dangerous escape for his 15year old protagonist  howie  paul franklin dano   in his opening voiceover  howie reveals a morbid preoccupation with death on the road  citing the l  i  e  highway deaths of filmmaker alan j  pakula  songwriter harry chapin  and his own mother on exit 52  hes both fascinated and disturbed by the l  i  e   and those feelings are projected onto big john  who follows howie around in his bright red car  but never makes a move to force the boy to do something he doesnt want to do  this makes him much more complex than the usual child molesters seen in movies  hes a beast  but ashamed of it   l  i  e  would have worked best as a halfhour short film about howies illadvised foray into big johns haven  there is unnecessary padding with howies miserable dad  bruce altman  in the hot seat for a whitecollar crime  degenerate youngsters who get their kicks from robbing middleclass houses  and some homoerotic shenanigans with wiseass gary terrio  billy kay   a handsome artful dodger  rather than add to the themes of suburban ennui  not that we needed another movie on that subject   these awkward subplots pad out the running time to adequate feature length  concurrently  the relationship between howie and big john is evenly paced and exceptionally well acted  cox  sporting a baseball cap and a faded marine tattoo  is all bluff and bluster  dano is quiet and at first glance seems so withdrawn as to be transparent  were so used to child actors whose dramatic choices are broad and obvious  calling haley joel    its surprising to see one who actually listens throughout any given scene  the restraint is admirable  but l  i  e  s screenplay doesnt always give them the best material  when howie reads big john a walt whitman poem  the moment feels a bit too precious  director michael cuesta lingers on an ecstatic reaction shot of big john  who may as well be hearing glenn gould performing bachs goldberg variations  its too much  there are also some obvious dramatic contrivances involving big johns other boy toy  walter masterson   jealous over the newbie  this plot thread predictably leads to violence  not content to be a haunting  observational portrait of teen alienation in a royally screwed up world  like terry zwigoffs superb ghost world   cuesta lacks the confidence in his own work to end on an ambivalent note  its typical of unimaginative cinema to wrap things up with a bullet  sparing the writers from actually having to come up with a complex  philosophical note  in this regard  l  i  e   and countless other indie films  share something in common with blockbuster action films  problems are solved when the obstacle is removed  how often does real life work this way  to extend the question  if a movie is striving for realism  do dramatic contrivances destroy the illusion  
neg	janeane garofalo in a romantic comedy  it was a good idea a couple years ago with the truth about cats and dogs but is almost excruciating in the matchmaker  this is a bythebooks movie that plods along on a predestined course with no surprises and very few laughs  it also jumps on the everpopular political satire bandwagon and manages to fall flat there  too  garofalo plays a campaign aide to a massacusetts senator  jay o  sanders  running for reelection  denis leary plays the stereotypical strategist with no ethics who decides the only way for the scandal plagued senator to win is to play up his irish roots and cash in on that boston roman catholic democrat contingent thats made the kennedy family so popular  so leary orders garofalo to go to ireland and dig up some relatives to exploit  she soon learns why  easier said than done  is the mantra of movies like this  the matchmaker falls for every cliche of things that can go wrong  garofalo has to take a tiny plane to ireland  almost misses the bus to town  cant get a hotel room  ends up in the smallest  trashiest one around  has a dog piss on her luggage  and so on  then comes what roger ebert calls the  meet cute   it happens in every romance  the man and woman have to meet each other for the first time in some unconventional  cinematic way  in the matchmaker  it happens when garofalo walks into her hotel bathroom and finds a nude sean  david ohara  in the bathtub  his dog sitting at his side  no points for guessing its the same dog that just made water on her luggage  also no points for guessing garofalo hates ohara on sight  thats how it works in movies like these  i know from the instant i saw that irishman in the bathtub that shed hate him for awhile  then succumb to his charms  live happily for a reel or so before allowing some superficial detail to throw the relationship into turmoil  after which theyd reconcile in time for a happy irish tune to play over the end credits  i havent mentioned the movies twist yet  garofalo comes to the small ireland town during the annual matchmaking festival  during which lonely folks from around the county pair off into a future of bliss  milo oshea  who looks like an irish tom snyder  is the matchmaker who pops onscreen occasionally to spew his words of wisdom and bring lonely souls together  rest assured hell do all he can to match up garofalo and ohara  oh  and in keeping with the matchmakers utter predictability  he dies toward the end  what the message here  sometimes even the most respectable person of comedic distinction  like garofalo  will sell out with a weak script  i was excited to see garofalo and leary in the same movie  but they actually only have two or three scenes together  leary stays stateside  for the most part  yelling at garofalo over the phone and generally being an asshole  he even undoes himself with the old microphones still on after hes done giving the speech cliche  both of them should have known better  
neg	and now the highflying hong kong style of filmmaking has made its way down to the classics  and it isnt pretty  this time out the nod to asia goes by way of france in the excruciating bland and lukewarm production of the musketeer  a version of dumass the three musketeers  by bringing in popular asian actorstunt coordinator xing xing xiong  whose only prior american attempts at stunt choreography have been the laughable van damme vehicle double team and the dennis rodman cinematic joke simon sez  our musketeers are thrown into the air to do their fighting  the end result is a tepid and dull actionadventure ripoff that stinks of indiana jones and bad asian kung fu  the story is so simple my grandmother could have adapted the screenplay  dartagnan  justin chambers  is the vengeful son of a slain musketeer  he travels to paris to join the royal musketeers and find the man that killed his parents  in paris  he meets the cunning cardinal richelieu  stephen rea   who is trying to overthrow the king  and richelieus maninblack associate febre  tim roth   the killer of his folks  he finds the musketeers in paris disbanded and drunk  so he rounds up aramis  nick moran   athos  jan gregor kremp  and porthos  steven spiers  to free the musketeers wrongfully imprisoned leader treville from the kings prison  dartagnan and his new frisky love interestchambermaid francesca  mena suvari  play footsy and coo at each other as the cardinal hunts down the musketeers until finally the queen  catherine deneuve  ends up being captured by the menancing febre  forcing the musketeers to regroup  with dartagnan leading the charge  and save the day  director peter hyams  end of days  obviously wanted to blend eastern and western filmmaking styles  but here its a disaster  one problem is that  in reality  most eastern films have taken their lead from western ones  jet lis high risk is a ripoff of die hard  not the other way around  ironically  there is awfully little swordplay or action in the film at all  maybe ten minutes of swashbuckling spread over five scenes  most asian action films carry the bulk of their production with 20 to 30minute action sequences  because they know the scenes have to carry the picture  the musketeer instead weighs itself down with a predictable and monotonous screenplay by gene quintano  sudden death   horrible acting by stephen rea and tim roth  and the prosaic attempt of justin chambers  the wedding planner  to deliver his mousy self as a leader  chambers dartangnan isnt a musketeer  hes a mouseketeer  and hyams use of candles and torches to light the grime and filth of 17th century paris are wellnoted  but thats the only standout in an overall flat production  
neg	a movie like mortal kombat  annihilation works  and must be reviewed on  multiple levels  first  theres the rampant usage of randian subtext that pervades the entire movie  but occasionaly  almost as if making an ironic  selfdepreciating remark  the movie tosses in clearly marxist imagery  no no    just kidding  had you going there for a moment  didnt i  in all seriousness however  and to be fair to the movie  it  is  necessary to provide two viewpoints  that of a movie watcher unfamiliar  or only marginally familiar  with the whole mortal kombat phenomenon  and that of a fan of the first movie andor a fan of the games  the first movie  mortal kombat  1995   concerned itself with a martial arts tournament that would decide the fate of earth  and its 5 billion inhabitants   the mortals won  and in theory this should have prevented the emperor shao khan from taking over the earth  unfortunately  shao khan was a poor loser  and the very final scene in mortal kombat showed him arriving anyway  ready to take over the planet  as our heroes assumed a fighting stance  the first movie was extraordinarily entertaining for those  like myself  who are fans of the game  id even go so far as to say that many folks who didnt know about the game probably enjoyed the movie  the writers and directors knew the limitations of both their cast and of the basic story itself  and they didnt try to overachieve  there were a lot of really cool fight scenes  with really cool accompanying music   intersperesed with some distracting  but ultimately nonintrusive  bits of fluff passing itself off as a plot  and  as we know  the movie was a smashing success at the box office  mortal kombat  annihilation picks up precisely where that movie left off  with some introductory exposition to clue in those who may not have seen the first movie  shao khan has decided that hes going to take over the earth  anyways   and to hell with some silly rule about mortals winning the tournament  thereafter follows approximately 85 minutes of film that alternates between being confused  being trite  being silly  and being just plain stupid  one gets the general impression that the producers of the movie thought  hey  that last movie was such a success that we can get more money and make a  real  movie now   too bad they didnt simply stick with the formula from the first movie  i could write volumes about the things that are wrong with this picture  but here are the high points   the acting is truly bad  sandra hess  playing the sonya blade character  is particularly execrable  especially in scenes where she tries to convince us that she loved johnny cage  a character from the first movie who gets greased at the beginning of this movie    in one of the worst pieces of miscasting i think ive  ever  seen  james remar plays raiden  the god of thunder  in the first movie  christopher lambert played raiden and played his character as though he was in on the joke  a french actor playing a japanese thunder god being revered by chinese mystics  i generally like it when actors are cast against type  tim  tiny  lister  jr  being cast as the president of the u  s  in the fifth element  for example   and remar has always been one of my favorite  utility  actors but hes so totally wrong for this part that he doesnt even have the luxury of amused selfawareness   there are too many characters that are introduced as being potentially important  but then never seen again   there are a number of completely meaningless story sidetracks  including a muddled scene where liu kang  robin shou  seeks out nightwolf  litefoot   has a mystical hallucination  and then wanders off with jade  irina pantaeva   for these reasons  and many others   i can only give the movie a 2       unless youre a huge fan of the games andor the first movie  in that case  the following critiques also apply   sandra hess  while being an even worse actress than bridgette wilson  who played sonya blade in the first movie   is much more convincing as a fighter  wilson looked like she was simply mimicing some movements taught to her by the fight choreographer  hess looks like she actually knows some martial arts  and puts together a much more believable fight scene   in the fights  each of the characters does at least  one  thing they do in the game  and often more   sonya does her  kiss of death   jax does his  earthquake   liu kang does his  animality   and so on  a big bonus for those of us who were looking for similar moves in the first movie and found them only rarely   there arent as many fight scenes in this movie as there were in the first  because the folks making the movie mistakenly try to hang a more robust plot in between  silly  silly folks  and the lamest fight involved two of the women in what turns into a mudwrestling match  lame and so obviously sexist even i  politically incorrect  for the most part  noticed and remarked upon it   the special effects are generally better  except for the final fight scene between the emporer and liu kang in which both perform their  animalities   motaro and sheeva are both more convincing and lifelike than goro was in the first movie  for folks like myself who loved the first movie and enjoy the games  i give this a 5  youll probably like it  but not nearly as much as you liked the first one  
neg	she was the femme in  la femme nikita   he was the baldwin in  backdraft    sliver   and  fair game   with cindy crawford   together  anne parillaud and william baldwin conspire to make  shattered image  the biggest piece of hooey since the stallonestone  thriller   the specialist   the film poses the question  what if the life youre living now is really a dream  and your dreams reality   its either about a woman whos haunted by a recurring  and recurring and recurring  nightmare that shes a hired assassin  or its about a hired assassin whos haunted by a recurring  and recurring and recurring  nightmare that shes honeymooning with william baldwin in jamaica  it doesnt much matter and believe me by the time  shattered image  runs its painful and pedestrian course you wont care  these two lives  with parillaud looking like siouxsie sioux with a black wig  black emotionless eyes  and black leather clothing in the seattlebased assassin scenes  and moping around like karen carpenter in the jamaica scenes  play out endlessly throughout the film and the result is its now  twice  as boring as it might have been  its not that complicated plots cant be entertaining  of course it helps if you have interesting characters  crisp dialogue  and a modicum of style   shattered image  isnt complex  its just stupid  and boring  parillaud and baldwin  who arent exactly shakespearean material to begin with  are saddled with such leaden dialogue that their characters have zero chance of breaking free of their cardboard confines  lines like   you dont beg  you insist  i like that in a woman   thats parillauds character talking    to her cat  and   youre not the reason i couldnt care less about you   huh  and this wonderful bathroom interchange early in the film   if you give me a couple of minutes you know ill charm the pants off you    i dont have that kind of time   talking of pants  parillaud has her clothes off faster than you can say  point of no return   we have come to expect this from billy baldwin  but it might have been nice to have learned something about their characters first  but theres nothing to learn  karen is as interesting as a cereal box  a someonesouttogetme crybaby who imagines the voice at the other end of the phone  the stranger who sends her flowers  maybe even her husband himself  is her wouldbe killer  siouxsie is the chromium cool  toughasnails crack killing machine who shoots out a couple of mirrors in order to justify the films meaningless stock title  baldwin seems more interested in parillauds nest egg  so that he can pave paradise and put up a parking lot  than he does in her  each time graham greene shows up he gets killed  barbet schroeder   reversal of fortune   coproduced and should be ashamed of himself  every now and again its fun to watch a really bad movie  and every now and again  as  shattered image  makes agonizingly clear  it isnt  
neg	john carpenter makes bmovies  always has   halloween    escape from new york    the thing   and  by the looks of it   they live    escape from l  a     vampires    always will  carpenters latest horror opus with a science fiction bent  or science fiction outing with a schlock horror bent  is the aptlytitled  john carpenters ghosts of mars   in case  i suppose  you went looking for someone elses  ghosts of mars    like all those films prefixed by the very possessive  john carpenters    ghosts of mars  is an unashamed bmovie punctuated by a bmovie plot  bmovie actors  and bmovie special effects  in category one  above  we have a storyline that borders on idiotic  and  at times  chaotic   dormant martians  i  e   swirling red gases  awakened by meddling humans possess the souls of hapless mining colonists rendering them testy marilyn manson lookalikes  all this explained  in flashback  to some grand poohbah counsel by martian police official melanie ballard  natasha henstridge  from the sub  species  films   the only returnee on a sillylooking train  officer ballard went in to bring back incarcerated felon james  desolation  williams  what she found was not a pretty picture  in the second category we have ms  henstridge  her blonde hair pulled back tightly and awkwardly into a ponytail  ice cube  as the appropriatelynamed  desolation    pam grier  briefly  oddlywho wanted to work with whom i wonder    and a host of extras all assuming that the story and special effects were going to carry this film and therefore they didnt need to try too hard  in category number three we have  in addition to those swirling red gases and the sillylooking train  a couple of birdseyeview shots of a sprawling martian metropolis  reddish also   stateoftheart special effects have never been a carpenter trademark and once again the writerdirector  who seems to have no problem finding work  however  doesnt waste any of the films budget in that department   ghosts of mars  is lock  laughing stock  and barrel all your standard carpenter fare  dingy interiors  cluttered exteriors  inane dialogue  lots of leather  scarred  crazedlooking aliens  and lots and lots of weaponry  the film often and always explodes into warfare without warningspontaneously  stupidly  carpenter might like to think hes made a western here but its a western without any real heroes  villains  or border conflicts  its just the shootouts minus a hissing snake plissken  i never thought id miss the guy but i do  its not  all  the same  however  dubbed the  onenote wonder  for his minimalist music soundtracks  carpenter seems to have graduated from simplistic  yet effective  scoring by highlighting his action with loud  screeching guitar work  fortunately this drowns out a lot of the dialogue  the final exchange between henstridge and  er  cube though is both audible  and  priceless  mars has proven an infertile breeding ground for hollywood in the last year or so  what with the stillborn  mission to mars  and  red planet   with val kilmer    ghosts of mars  sadly adds to those disappointing returns  in its opening weekend it was overshadowed by a bunch of sequels  among them  american pie 2  and  rush hour 2    the irony is that the mars in carpenters film feels sadly absent  there are occasional references to the red planet  of course  but the film might as well have been set in perth amboys than on earths closest neighbor  two things keep  john carpenters ghosts of mars  from getting a huge slap upside the head  1  henstridge keeps her top on  miraculously   and 2  the film doesnt pretend to be anything its not  what that means  however  is that fans of superior  intelligent  grade a scifihorror are singularly out of luck  
neg	im really starting to wonder about alicia silverstone  sure  she is one of the most beautiful creatures on gods green earth  second only to that movie critic at large guy   but when it comes to choosing what movies she stars in  she always strikes out  the crush was a slowmoving  predictable piece of fluff  hideaway was a horrific novel adaptation alicia had only a minor role in  clueless was an annoying  unfunny waste of time  and people have emailed me too  saying clueless is a good movie and that im the only one who doesnt like it  one girl said if id seen the movie with  an open mind   i would have enjoyed it  nothing could be further from the truth  i went into the theater expecting to love the movie  the preview looked good and of course im crazymadinlove with alicia  but the movie was a bunch of bad jokes coming from whiny  unlikable characters  almost everyone i saw the movie with felt the same way  when we were walking out of the theater  one guy  and it wasnt me  yelled out   that was the worst fin movie ive ever seen  and the rest of us had to laugh in agreement  so last night i walked into the video store and saw alicias pretty face on the cover of some madeforvideo thriller called the babysitter  i knew it would be bad but some inner compulsion ill probably never understand made me rent it anyway  what i got was 90 minutes of regretthe worst alicia silverstone movie ever  and you already know from the last paragraph what the competition is like  where to begin in criticizing this movie  the plot is a thin shred that moves slower than a glacier  the writing could have been done  and for all we know it was  by a ten year old  alicia is the star and shes still wasted in a movie that has no appeal whatsoever  there is zero humor  zero suspense  zero drama and zero action  until the last ten minutes  when the story is needlessly and pointlessly concluded with a violent sequence  zero plus zero plus zero plus zero equals zero  so why does this movie get one star out of me  well  alicia spends twenty minutes of the movie in the bathtub  and if it wasnt bubble bath  the babysitter would have instantly joined the ranks of our other four star features  but you settle for what you can get  alicia plays a babysitter whos spending friday night looking after two kids whose parents are out getting drunk at a cocktail party  and of course anyone as beautiful as alicia automatically spends their friday nights at home  at least that movie critic at large guy does   as the movie trods along  we discover shes not only the mostlysilent star of the movie but also the object of every male characters fantasies  and probably every male viewers too   the drunken father thinks shes just the thing to recapture his lost youth  her boyfriend lets his imagination run wild while spying on alicia from outside  even the prepubescent boy looks in on alicia through the bathroom keyhole while shes taking her bubble bath  they even throw in the middle aged wifes fantasies about a male counterpart at the party  not that any of us asked or ever even thought about seeing this 200 pound woman in a black silk teddy  at least none of the sex fanatasies ever leave the realm of the pgrated  in fact  i could imagine the babysitter becoming a cinemax latenight staple if not for the fact that theres absolutely no nudity in it  so you cant call it a sex flick  ive already pointed out that it cant fall under drama  comedy  thriller or action  so what do you classify the babysitter as  bad  
neg	so what do you get when you mix together plot elements from various successful scifi films such as close encounters of the third kind  2001  a space odyssey  apollo 13 and contact  well  whatever it is  youd sure as hell hope that it would be a thousand times better than this shoddy attempt at such a melange  considering the disastrous results were left with here  this is a film that takes a little bit of everything  but ultimately adds up to a lot of nothing  its like i said    this movie sucks  plot  a rescue crew of astronauts is sent down to mars in the year 2020  after an unknown energy force leads to a loss of contact with the previous gang of space aviators to visit the red planet  critique  extremely underwhelming is the best way to describe this movie  uneven  would be another  the trailer for this movie actually showed some promise  the buzz around it had been soso  and even the film itself starts off with a decent first twenty minutes  all leading you to believe that its actually going to go  somewhere   but it isnt long before the entire movie downshifts into neutral  features more space walks than anything interesting on the cherrycolored planet  tries too hard to get us into the  pain  of some its characters and unsuccessfully tosses some romance into the mix  in a scifi movie  well  i dont know  much of it just seemed like a bunch of nerdies talking techie jargon for about an hour and a half  only to figure out some big secret in the end  a secret which practically had me yawning with excitement  ultimately  this is a movie that starts off with a decent premise  joins the crew in their  misadventures in space  for the main crux of its journey  and eventually settles down for one of the most anticlimactic endings this side of contact  mind you  if you enjoyed that films shrugoftheshoulders ending  you might just enjoy this frivolous ditty as well  of course  i dont remember contact having such obvious and painfully distracting computer generated effects at its end of story  ugh  what a friggin mess  films like this generally get me wondering about the brass in hollywood again  didnt anybody recognize the crappiness in this script  didnt they read the bad dialogue  the cheezy lines  the obvious derivative nature of the work  mind you  with a director like depalma at the helm  that aint saying much    of course  you cant really blame the brass for the inclusion of jerry oconnell in this fine crew of thespians  nuff said  neither can you blame them for depalma cranking up the juice on the films musical score during the last fifteen minutes  presumably in order to wake the audience up  okay  we get it brian  this scene is supposed to be powerful    wow    yawn    my ears hurt    so is anything salvageable in this movie  sure  gary sinise does another great job  as does cheadle  the film doesnt completely bore you as much as it just moves along slowly without anything really interesting happening  and yes  the  sandtwister  effect that you see in the commercial is well done  other than that  i guess i could say that i admire how filmmakers have become so much more devious in their product placement strategies    oops  did i say  admire   i meant  am disgusted   all in all  this movie delivers very little in actual substance  offers twobit dialogue masked in a lot of scifi mumbojumbo  pretends to be deep when really its just sappy  and eventually just settles into an ending which  other than presenting us with a pathetic computer graphic as a part of the story  gives us little more to think about than how we might be able to get our money back for sitting through this rehashed dreck  go see the ninth gate    now theres a great movie  and on a personal note  i think its time for depalma to stop worrying so much about his proverbial 12minute uninterrupted film sequences  and start worrying more about how crappy his movies are getting  
neg	the law of crowd pleasing romantic movies states that the two leads must end up together by films end  if youre not familiar with this law  then maybe youve seen the trailer for this film which shows that the two leads are together by films end  now if youre a regular reader of mine  youve heard me say this countless times  you know how drive me crazy is going to end  but is the journey to get to that ending worth it  no  it definitely is not  melissa joan hart  from abcs  sabrina  the teenage witch   likes a hunky stud on the basketball team  adrien grenier is her grungy neighbor whos just broken up with his activist girlfriend  apparently he wants to make his exgirlfriend jealous enough to take him back  and she wants someone to take her to the big year end dance  so the two pretend to date for some reason  but only after hart gives grenier a bath to turn him into a hunky stud  will grenier like his new popularity and turn on his friends  will this crazy scheme work  do i care  the teen comedy resurgence of late has been surprisingly good in terms of comedy  what makes movies like cant hardly wait and 10 things i hate about you work  and to a lesser extent  shes all that and never been kissed  is because the writers of those films seem to realize that high school is a joke and write their scripts accordingly  i dont know what the writers intention was with drive me crazy  there was some smart comedy in those films to make the obvious endings worth getting to  here theres nothing    just teens whining about whos going to take them to the big dance  do me a favor kids  go get a job or something    just shut the hell up  in all honesty  the best part of this film is the end credits  now normally when i say that its followed with the joke     because the movie is finally over   in this case though the end credits really are the most entertaining part of the film  after the obligatory second playing of britney spears titular song  theres a quick commercial jingle for a burger joint the kids in the film hang out in and a brief rendition of the school song for their high school  nothing great  but more entertaining than anything in the 90 minutes which preceded them  scifi fans take note  there are brief appearances from stephen collins  star trek  the motion picture  and faye grant  the tv miniseries  v  and  v  the final battle    pg13 
neg	mighty joe young blunders about for nearly twenty minutes before we actually get to see a great big gorilla  his entrance  however  is a grand one  out from the trees he leaps  gargantuan and imposing  sporting hands big enough to crush a volkswagen bug  and a pair of feet much larger than any pro basketball player will ever have  joe bellows at the poachers before him  angry that they would like to kill him and sell him for millions of dollars  during this scene  i turned to my friend and said   wow  thats some ape   joe is quite a gorilla  a big  digital gorilla  he runs around the fields  chasing cars and people  he picks things up and stares at them pensively  he breaks things on accident  because hes just too big to avoid clumsiness  joe  as a special effect  is an image that might hold your interest for five minutes  as a character  he doesnt quite register  and the story hes been put in is as limp as they come  the words  family entertainment  have never been a stamp of quality  but might joe young is just a silly special effects movie pretending to have a heart  the picture is a remake of the 1949 film  its mostly just about the big gorilla  but  strictly as a formality  the movie also has a few human characters  the main one is jill young  poor charlize theron  forced to waste her talent   a lover of gorillas  as a child  she witnessed a group of poachers murder her mother  now  she lives in the jungle to protect the wildlife  specifically  shes out to protect joe  a giant gorilla who has been her friend since her childhood  soon  zoologist gregg ohara  bill paxton  discovers joe  he quickly realizes that poachers want to get joe and sell him to a big game hunter named strasser  rade sherbedgia   who just happens to be the same guy who killed jills mother  so  in an effort to save joe  jill and gregg take the big gorilla to a preserve  where it is instantly clear that he is not safe from poachers  in addition  the space is way too small for him  after all  he is a really big gorilla   and  to add to the complications  strasser shows up under a benevolent pretext  he tells jill that he has a preserve big enough for joe   and joe recognizes strasser as the guy who killed jills mother  jill  of course  doesnt recognize strasser  even though he did kill her mother  this is just one of the many examples of stupidity in mighty joe young  a film that fulfills every stereotype that comes with a special effects film  the movie isnt really offensive  it has some competent actors  a few nifty sets  and a lot of scenes with a big  digitized gorilla  but the story is really dumb  there arent any characters  and the film isnt satisfying on any level beyond its visuals  the movie also has bad dialogue  if a critic says that a film has bad dialogue  its only fair to quote some of it  but most of the words spoken in this picture are phrases like  joe isnt happy   and  joe isnt safe here    we need to get joe out of here    joe is way too big for that cage   i dont know if these phrases are word for word  but theyre close  as i said  the characters here are only present as a formality  they do little more than state the obvious  of  course  joe is too big for that cage   paxton and theron are talented performers who deserve to work on a script that provides characters for them  sadly  mighty joe young wastes them both  there are a few clever moments  although none of them are surfacing in my memory at the moment   and  as i said  the digital effects held my attention for at least five minutes  its certainly not a bad film for kids  i doubt joe will give them nightmares  but adults in the audience arent likely to find much of anything interesting about the big gorilla  a big gorilla is only interesting for a little while  after that  something needs to be done with the big gorilla  nobody ever figures out what to do with the big gorilla  
neg	 spawn  features good guys  bad guys  lots of fighting  bloody violence  a leatherclad machine gun chick  gooey  selfhealing bullet holes  scatological humor and a maneating monster  it not only appears to have been tailor made for a swarm of 12 and 13yearold boys  it appears to have been made by them  in a classic example of telling and not showing   spawn  opens with a truckload of mumbo jumbo about forces of darkness  forces of light and how  men are the ones who create evil on earth   so much for a message  the movie then lurches forward into the plight of al simmons  michael jai white   a government assassinoperative who is murdered by diabolical boss jason wynn  martin sheen  who plays all of his scenes like an oscar clip  while on a top secret mission in a north korean biological weapons plant  simmons goes to hell and back  after making a deal with satan himself  if he agrees to command the devils army to overtake the world  hell be allowed to return to earth to see his wife wanda  underused theresa randle  and little girl cyan  sydni beaudoin   of course  seeing as how five years has passed  wanda has fallen for  and married  simmons partner  d  b  sweeney   his  uh  shoulder to cry on comes in the form of clown  john leguizamo   a disgustingly disproportioned minion of satans  clown manipulates simmons  now in superhuman spawn form  into a stand off with wynn  wynn  who thinks he is in league with the doubledealing clown  recognizes spawn as a threat and undergoes an operation where a bomb is placed on his heart  when it stops beating  major cities around the world will detonate  causing the leak of a disease that  makes the ebola virus look like a skin rash   phew  got all that  it would be easy to dismiss  spawn  as just another one of those heavyonfx  shortonsubstance action pics  but it doesnt even work on that level  the computergenerated sequences are often and plenty  and the problem is that they look too computergenerated  the several scenes set in hell present a devil that looks and acts like a video game graphic  with the movies healthy budget youd think they could have afforded to make his mouth move when he talks  other elements of the movie are soso  spawns enormous red  flowing cape is a wonderful sight  but its too obvious when hes being played by a costumed actor or an image  in movies like  contact   the special effects serve the story  in  spawn   they are the story  and spawn himself isnt even an interesting character  the films reliance on razzledazzle would be acceptable if we were given somebody to root for  but both simmons and his funky alterego are completely underdeveloped  what we need is a batman  a luke skywalker  even watching the adventures of kleenex man would be more interesting than spawn  poor leguizamo  he starred in februarys  the pest   a movie that i still think is the years worst so far  although this one does give it a run for its money  as clown  he overacts to the extreme  never missing an opportunity for a poortaste punchline  leguizamo farts green mist  munches a pizza slice covered with maggots and even dons a miniskirt and performs a cheerleader routine  all before turning into a giant grey demon  the guy was brilliant in  to wong foo  thanks for everything  julie newmar   what is he doing wasting his talent in this and  the pest   im one of the few people that liked  batman  robin   this summers other bigbudget comic book film  yet after catching this movie and making the inevitable comparison  i can only hope people will change their minds and think of  batman  as the superior adaptation  theres a compelling story somewhere in  spawn   including strong religious overtones and the debut of the first africanamerican superhero ever  but its just not found anywhere near here  as it is   spawn  is just awful  it stinks worse than a dead trout  
neg	 in dreams  might keep you awake at night  but not because of its creepy imagery  bizarre visual style or story about a clairvoyant madman who lures young girls to their untimely deaths  no  the source of potential sleeplessness here lies within the movies brutally squandered potential  the least of which is an admittedly nifty premise  even by tired serial killer genre standards  the big letdown  however  comes upon the realization that this 100minute headscratcher was masterminded by neil jordan  the man behind  the crying game   hes no stranger to cinematic weirdness  but this nutty nonsense really pushes the envelope  things start out strong enough  with cinematographer darius khondjis stunning camera work guiding viewers into the bowels of a underwater ghost town during a creepy prologue that establishes a notably grim tone right off the bat  this eerie opulence remains a dazzling display of showmanship throughout the entire film  theres even something macabre about the way khondji photographs a rustic  seemingly innocent new england autumn  but if there ever was a film that didnt deserve so good a polish  its this one  dont knock the look  but say what you will about the foolish plot  underdeveloped characters and flat dialogue  annette bening  another asset  in dreams  shouldnt be so lucky to boast  gives an increasingly effective performance in a role that doesnt do much for her in return  she plays claire cooper  a massachusetts childrens book illustrator whos plagued by terrifying nightmares involving kidnaped children  she thinks these visions are a warning knell for horrible  soontobecommitted crimes  but neither her hohum husband  aidan quinn  nor the hohummer police can muster up the sense to take her seriously  this being a thriller  we know that she is  in fact  on the money  and its a credit to benings acting that she delves equally into claires madness and compassion  but as soon as a body turns up and claire has given the authorities reason enough to believe her claims   in dreams  trades in its nifty supernatural chills for a long series of allegedly spooky jolts that simply refuse to make sense  scenes pile up like a car wreck with little or no explanation or exposition  subplots appear and disappear  when claire finally comes facetoface with our evil murderer  robert downey jr    it turns out his name is vivian  hes clairvoyant and hes got some major issues with mama  a la norman bates   in dreams  reaches its absurdist zenith here  and the climax drags with mumbled revelations and laughable twists  some questions  then  whats with the garbage disposal retching applesauce  are the drawings on the wall blood or paint  who cranked up the andrews sisters on the cd player and caused the swing to move on its own  what about the computer  does vivian possess the gift of telekinesis in addition to his other powers  why would he continually endanger claire if she was necessary for his ultimate plan  is the woman in australia integral to anything  and the aforementioned flooded city  what function does that really serve  sigh  at least in my own dreams  i can imagine a better movie where certain talent didnt go to waste  
neg	 knock off  is exactly that  a cheap knock off of an action movie  its also the worst movie i have seen thus far this year  i figured it would be at least a couple of months before i saw the worst film of 1998  but alas  it has already been found  jeanclaude van damme stars as  i think  a designer jeans executive who discovers his halfbrother has been supplying him with cheaper goods  rob schneider plays van dammes partner  and rochon plays    actually  i have no idea who rochon was supposed to be  she just sort of popped up halfway through without an explanation as to why she was there  many things are not explained in this film  but i do know that for some bizarre reason  van damme seemed to be doing a jackie chan impression throughout the flick  where chan comes off as endearing in his  normal guy  character seen in many of his films  van damme just comes off as a wimp  were never given any clear explanation as to the basis for many of his actions  to be more clear  i did not even know who he was supposed to be until about an hour into the movie  and even then  it was not made too clear  the film has been directed in the style of some strange film experiment gone horribly wrong  tsui hark  who directed van dammes last movie  the bad  but not nearly as bad as this   double team   never lets the camera rest for a second  and thats no exaggeration  we are even treated to a five second shot from the point of view of van dammes foot entering a shoe  fabulous  seriously  though  i have no problem with directors who want to play around with film conventions  as long as they dont get carried away  for example  look at sam raimi   army of darkness   one of his best movies  features some of the most inventive camera work i have ever seen  but raimi never lets the special effects get in the way of story  thats a concept that tsui cant seem to grasp  the special effects and outrageous camera angles  rule   knock off  to the point where the audience doesnt have a clue as to whats happening any more  another problem with the film is that it looks cheap  the film stock used is of such low caliber that i thought i was watching one of those chinese films shown really late at night  and for some inexplicable reason  everyones voice seems to have been dubbed  even the stars  and even the special effects  seemingly the only aspect of the film the director actually cared about  are inconsistent  for example  there is a scene in which van damme drives a car out of a window  the car slams into the ground  and the left wheel is completely destroyed  seconds later  the car drives off at full speed  hey  i have no problem suspending my disbelief in an action movie  but a line must be drawn somewhere  finally  the acting  nobody gives a good performance in this film  van damme  an actor i usually like  is way off the mark playing  everyman   and schneider  here to provide comic relief i assume  is totally unfunny and over acts his way through every scene  even the usually solid paul sorvino gives a terribly overthetop performance as    once again  i have no idea who he was supposed to be  in case i havent yet made it clear enough   knock off  is the worst movie of van dammes career and possibly the worst movie of the decade  and its not even one of those movies thats so bad its funny  its too inept to be funny  there are no redeeming factors in  knock off  and i seriously hope that every print of this film is burned to a crisp and that somehow my memory of watching the film can be erased  
neg	 snake eyes  is the most aggravating kind of movie  the kind that shows so much potential then becomes unbelievably disappointing  its not just because this is a brian depalma film  and since hes a great director and one whos films are always greeted with at least some fanfare  and its not even because this was a film starring nicolas cage and since he gives a brauvara performance  this film is hardly worth his talents  its worse than that  its aggravating for the sole reason that its story could be so much more  could be totally intelligent  and it opens up with absolutely no subtlety that it will be handled complexly and intensely    then at one point in the movie makes on wrong turn that leads it to the hall of fame of halfassedness  or more deservedly  the hall of fame of the eighthassedness  in certain circles   snake eyes  was being advertised as a kind of modern day version of kurosawas classic  rashomon   where a crime is told from the four different  and i mean different  perspectives  and it looks as though it may actually be just like this with the opening  which  i might add  is superb  in one very very very long steadicam shot  we meet the protagonist  crooked atlantic city detective  rick santoro  cage   and follow him before a boxing match as he talks on his cell phone with his wife  interupts a payperview event on tv  chases down a gambler  enters the arena all pumped up for the fight  sits down and talks with his bud  kevin dunne  gary sinise  whos character should not be confused with that of actor kevin dunn  whos also in this   and watches as it happens  theres a big name in the crowd  and thats the secretary of defense  charles kirkland  joel fabiani   whos sitting behind rick  and who gets shot a second after the heavyweight champion  lincoln tyler  stan shaw   is knocked out  this all happens in the opening shot  and it creates so many red herrings and possibilities of what happened that it opens this scene up for close examination and total deconstruction  what really happened  this film asks  and it sets this film up extremely well for when rick begins to question people and get different perspectives on the scene    and discovers theres a very good possibility it was a conspiracy  as we follow rick trying to learn of more information  we also meet a woman who was talking to kirkland before he was shot  carla gugino   and who flees the scene in a panic  and tries to hide from the cops in the arena and the adjacent casinohotel since the cops have blocked off the doors so they can get witness takes on what happened  this is all going pretty fine and dandy  and its extremely interesting to watch    then it takes one wrong step  we follow the wrong character  and we learn of the answer to the mystery too early on  and way before rick can find it out  but thats not the worst part of it  its that its the one person you didnt think it would be because he was too obviously supposed to be the red herring  the one you didnt think did it because it would be stupid and cliched of that person to be behind it  it only gets worse  the film turns into a chase film about half way through the film  and since we already know what happened  we cant rely on ricks investigation to be all that interesting  its as if the film ran out of the guts to be really complex and original about a third of the way in  and decided to just fall back on an easy way out  and that just happens to mean that it has to become less and less credible  events become more and more proposterous  and by the end  the film has decided to rely on the worst offender in mysteries like this  the deux ex machina  thats where some outside intereference brings the film to a sudden conclusion and makes everything okay  this time  its a hurricane  an outofcontrol police car  and a big round ball that adorned the arena  what went wrong  depalma and the screenwriter  david koepp  are extremely credible people in their respective fields  and have been known for bringing life and complexity to mysteries such as this  depalma  who idolizes hitchcock to death  has done many a film like this  such as his masterpiece   blow out   where a movie soundman uses movie elements to uncover a conspiracy piece by piece  but granted  depalma at least makes it intriguing to watch  what with his overthetop shot setups  notably the beginning and a sequence where the camera pans over top of a bunch of rooms in the hotel  forgetting anything about boundaries  at least his direction makes up partly for it  then theres koepp  who showed such great ability at making a characters flaws come to life like he did in depalmas earlier  carlitos way   a film that dove right into the life and past of its character and examined him extremely well  he can write a flawed character  but his rick santoro seems to be just a halfassed effort  hes flawed  and we can see redemption if the story wasnt so formulaic  a scene towards the end where he has to make a fatal decision is cheapened by the fact that his answer has no emotional buildup  he may as well have said the opposite of what he says  it would have at least gone with what the character was like  this is the most disappointing kind of film because it promises intelligence and complexity  because it promises disection of a flawed character and perhaps even redemption  then pulls the rug from under us just as we were about to be convinced it would be able to go all the way  as i was watching the first half hour  i couldnt wait to see how the mystery would be unearthed  how many different perspectives hed be given  and perhaps hed have to make a choice between whos he has to believe  now theres a film  unfortunately  the film has two major deux ex machinas  one in the disasterous ending  the other  about a half hour in when the film goes into autopilot and becomes a stale and recycled piece of crap weve seen all too much before  but never from someone like depalma  
neg	forgive the fevered criticism but the fervor of the crucible infects  set in 1692 at salem  massachusetts  the crucible opens with a group of teenage girls passionately singing and dancing around a boiling cauldron in the middle of a forest under the glow of a full moon  they beckon the names of men as the targets of their love spells  then one of the girls lets her hair down and sheds her clothes  not to be outdone in her quest to regain the attention of john proctor  daniel day lewis   abigail  winona ryder  suddenly seizes a chicken  beats it against the ground and smears her face and lips with the fresh blood  taking even adolescent hormone surges into account  surely this chickenbashing bit is a bit excessive  especially for prim puritan sensibilities  surely to the puritan eye this is as close to a coven of witches as it gets  the crucible errs from the beginning and arthur millers name should be summoned for blame here for the addition of the above scene to his screen adaptation of his play  this is far from a harmless event  a bad start to an already shaky morality tale  the play describes the films opening scene during tense exchanges that makes one wonder about the veracity of both accusation and reply  and this adds to the plays charged atmosphere  in the film  the opening scene becomes an unintentional pandoras box  not only is credulity stretched but abigails obsession is unfortunately spotlighted  it positions the crucible more as a cautionary fable about obsessive and malevolent women than against witch hunts  it will bring back the memory of a rabbit boiling away in a pot  not surprisingly  the nighttime forest frenzy does not go unnoticed and when two girls fail to wake the following morning  witches are invoked by those eager to blame  when the girls are questioned  their confession of guilt is accompanied with an announcement of their return to god and they are thereafter converted to immaculate witnesses  led lustfully by abigail  with alarming synchronicity our hormonallyadvantaged girls zealously gesture and point accusing fingers at innocents  constant reminders that abigails passion sets all this into inexorable motion  abigail seizes on this opportunity to rid herself of her rival for john proctors love  his wife elizabeth  joan allen   by including her among those accused of witchcraft  appropriately narrowwaisted and equipped with a distractingly white smile  watch his teeth deteriorate much too quickly to a murky yellow   day lewis plays the dashing moral hero with an overearnestness that longs to be watched  director nicholas hytner is guilty of encouraging day lewis foamingmouth fervour with shots where we stare up at proctor as if he was mounted on a pedestal for our admiration  otherwise  hytners direction is unremarkable  ryders performance as abigail is as consistent as her mood swings  her fits of frenzy are energetic enough but the quieter moments are less successful  abigail supposedly revels in her newfound power  but ryder fails at being convincingly haughty although there is much haughtiness to spare here  paul scofield is fine as the overzealous judge danforth  but the incessant moral posturings of all the characters along with the recurrent histrionics of the young girls pricks at the nerves  probably because she is the only refuge of restraint amidst all the huffing and puffing  allens elizabeth comes out as the most sympathetic character  a scene near the end featuring a private conversation between the imprisoned elizabeth and john is undeniably powerful because for once we are given a reprieve from the moral bantering and the human consequences are revealed  unfortunately  when johns audience again increases to more than one his urge to pontificate returns and the human urgency of his situation is lost  it is clear that miller meant well but i do wish he did it with more delicacy and fewer diversions  his screenplay is an imperfect creature with the distractions coming out as loud as the message  the result is a clumsy muddle  i felt like the chicken from the opening scene  head ceaselessly banged with piousness too heavyhanded to be wholly believable  when the gallows beckoned  it was sweet release indeed  far from bewitching  the crucible tests the patience  
neg	one might expect a cathartic viewing experience walking into a new jeanluc godard film  after all  he was a founding member of the highly influential french new wave  he is also an esteemed film critic  lending intelligence and historical perspective to us in much of his writing  however  his latest creation  in praise of love  is possibly the most exasperating film experience of the year  the abstract concept on which the film is based had merit  to dissect love into the following four categories  meeting  physical passion  quarrels  and reconciliation  these four universal truths would be revealed through three different couples  young  adult  and elderly  it is edgars  bruno putzulu  selfappointed task to capture these moments after a recent breakup  to define a central idea   its only when things are over that they make sense   whether this project will end up a play  film  or opera remains undecided  the thesis is simple enough that  if played right  it could really hold sympathetic value for anyone  instead what ensues is an hour and a half of repetitive vignettes  the next scene no more engaging than the last  only once does any character utter something worthwhile  but by the time it happens youre so thoroughly bored you can easily miss it  but dont fret  it will surface again  you could easily sleep through whole sections of the film  as some fellow critics did  and wake up in a scene exactly like the one you nodded off in  not having missed anything worthwhile  but you hold hope for some time  the background music keeps you in a state of urgency  and even suspense  for the first few conversations  its only after repeated failures to pay any of this off that you lose all hope  and with speeches like   i am thinking of something  but i can only think of that something when i am thinking of something else   how can you expect to hold anyones interest  to godards credit  he certainly knows how to frame a scene  the black and white footage used for the first half of the film is starkly beautiful  watching edgar read while walking along a train track on a mountain makes you wish you had something to ponder along with him  and if this film had anything poignant to say  you would have  which makes you all the angrier at the numerous missed opportunities  the environments  be it city or country  are impeccably captured in crisp detail  but the script never complements them  unfortunately  godard also manages to pillage his photographic eye by randomly cutting to black numerous times within any given scene  sometimes these breaks are used for chapter headings  but these are even more cryptic than the spoken words  the second half is composed of nauseating hypercolor that often blurs the image  you suddenly feel like a doomed character straight out of scanners  the only scene that makes any sense is one that complains about the united states bastardizing history in the making of movies  steven spielberg is picked on in particular  while ill grant that this does happen  and i tend to shy away from watching such garbage  its still a pointless focus for a film that purports to articulate the specific qualities of couplehood  it just goes to show  an intelligent person isnt necessarily an admirable storyteller  the days of breathless are no more  
neg	america loves convenience  after all  were the culture that invented the cell phone  the 24hour atm  and my most beloved  the remote control  yet perhaps this time  with ghosts of mars  we have taken our love of convenience to far  ghosts of mars stars natasha henstridge as a tough as nails  pillpoppin  martian cop  sent with her squadron to retrieve  demolition  williams  ice cube  from a remote mining town for trial back home  when she and her comrades  appropriately dubbed  the commander    the rookies   and the guy with the cool accent discover the towns residents slaughtered  they are forced to team up with williams to escape from the remaining residents headchopping  alienpossessed clutches  filled with a lovely overuse of storytelling flashbacks  flashessideways  and viewpoint changes  ghosts of mars is a hapless mishmash of poorly constructed dialogue and illconceived action sequences  the only thing keeping this film from becoming an incomprehensible mess is the sheer idiotic simplicity of its story  ripped straight from the pages of a 1970s zombie movie  ghosts leaps from one convenient moment to the next  stopping only to kill the characters which are most convenient to lose  attempts at character interaction and development are rare and forced  most of these moments come off as kwikemart wisdom  dispensed heartily around the slushee machine of life by the eventempered streetwise hand of ice cube  with a gun in one hand and a dynamite cap in the other  cube reminisces about his street life  comparing the zombiestomping fun to  me and my brother when we was kids   apparently  crime in the bronx has gotten so bad that the residents have actually taken to ritually decapitating one another for entertainment  but  even in the films darkest moments  fate conveniently lends a hand  supplying heavily armored transportation and easily accessible rifles and dynamite  yes  in the future  man may travel to space and conquer mars  but nothing beats a good stick of tnt  and as we all know  every police station  past  present  or future  keeps a healthy supply on hand  characters die  heads are lopped off  but they were only supporting roles anyway  so why should we care  as long as you have plenty of narcotics  immunity is guaranteed  eventually though  even the most welltrained zombie alien gets a bit uppity and needs to be taught a lesson  what better way than by sacrificing a few minor characters to a convenient nuclear detonation  killing anything the machine guns cant handle  explosions are fun  and even if the nukes dont get them  the conveniently placed dynamite packs on the train stolen from the set of the road warrior certainly will  in the end this film defines itself when our cops tribunal pronounces   is that all you have to tell us   for  indeed  john carpenter has run out of things to say  and has instead decided to use whatever is convenient to tell a ridiculously bad story  
neg	reindeer games is easily the worst of the three recent films penned by ehren kruger  scream 3 and arlington rd are the others  each derivative in their own special way   the guy cant seem to write believable dialogue  sample from reindeer games   rule 1  never put a car thief behind the wheel    create multifaceted characters  or even engineer coherent plots but he sure knows how to pile on numerous nonsensical twists and turns  no matter if each one deems the actual story increasingly unlikely   his screenplay for reindeer games turns the tables on the audience so many times that watching the film becomes something of a punishment with no reward anywhere in sight  i can just envision kruger laughing behind his keyboard   oh you thought my movie was gonna go here  f  ck you jack ass  take that twist  decipher this mother f  cker   its almost as if the writer were angry at us for shelling out money to see his stupid movie  and why the hell would anyone want to invest time in a movie when the screenwriter keeps changing his own rules for no reason other than to congratulate himself on how damn clever he is  auteur theory be damned  its krugers  style   not the directors that winds up on screen  kruger has obviously never paid much mind to the old chestnut  sometimes less is more   and his numerous twists cant even claim to be originals  arlington rds ending is a direct steal from the much better alan j  pakula thriller the parallax view  and in reindeer games we get this ol gem  character incriminates themself by saying something they shouldnt know  pronouns used to protect the gender of the  character     grammar be damned    how did you know that   the stunned protagonist asks  suddenly realizing that the character was in on the whole thing all along    since twist endings are currently so in vogue  and seeing as how krugers screenplays usually come equipped with about three twists per ending  i guess its no wonder why he works so frequently  hes quickly becoming miramaxs mickey mouse  the company has already signed him to work on several of their upcoming projects  this is appropriate considering that miramax  which used to place their label on some of the most artistically daring films  has quickly become a grindhouse for coddling foreign imports  life is beautiful  and freddie prinze jr  vehicles  their companys current logo could be  we ride the trends   reindeer games stars ben affleck as rudy  a supposedly hardened criminal spending his days and nights behind bars with fantasies of pecan pies dancing atop his head  although affleck is given some barbed wire tattoos to insinuate bad assness  he plays the role like steve guttenberg preciously mugging through a police academy flick  affleck is such a puppy dog that its impossible to believe he could survive in a harsh prison environment without becoming nearly everyones bitch  the role itself is so badly written  the character only grows balls when the plot calls for it   the twists so outrageous  and the directing so self consciously gritty that this is about as close to self parody as i can recall a recent  serious  movie getting  it may have been wiser had the film makers simply went all the way in that direction  casting jerry seinfeld as the hardened criminal and howard stern as the sniveling bad guy  whos played here by gary sinise in yet another over the top villain performance  james frain is nick  rudys cellmate  a manslaughterer whos found a pen pal in the gorgeous ashley mason  charlize theron   ashley is a prison groupie who sends nick many cheesecake photos of her though shes never seen one picture of him  which works out fine since the character is killed in a nearriot  and rudy  who was to be paroled on the same day as nick  takes his place  which leads to a sudden and very frenzied sex scene between ashley and rudy  so frenzied it kinda looks like rape  and a surprise visit from ashleys brother  gabriel  gary sinise   who waltzes into their shabby hotel room flanked by his thuggish cohorts  he plans to rob an indian casino on christmas eve with the assistance of rudy who he thinks is nick who  according to what he wrote in the letters to ashley  used to work as a guard in the indian casino  though by the end  the film pulls the rug out from under us so frequently that everything ive described might as well be irrelevant  this is what you can expect should you chose to take this reindeer on  several scenes in which  after catching his prey  the bad guy proceeds to stall interminably until the good guy has a chance to kill his captor and crack a stupid oneliner  included  two  2  scenes of two  2  different bad guys explaining their motives to the hero when they should be killing him  one following the other no less   though its an action film  the ending is more a talkfest where we get the whole movie explained to us by one flustered character actor after another while affleck looks on  incredulous as the audience  the flick was directed by john frankenheimer  a straightforward action director who lucked into the manchurian candidate early in his career  fell off the alist following a string of flops and now  in his old age  is slowly climbing his way back up  it would be a success story if he were choosing better scripts but his last major film was ronin  one of those almost but not quite movies  which followed the island of dr  morneau  you remember  the one with marlon brando in mime makeup and a not so flattering moomoo   and now this  he films action sequences with a minimum of quick cutting which i like considering that nowadays action scenes are commonly comprised of millisecond flash cuts strung together and laid out for a brainzapped mtv audience to pick apart  problem is these action scenes  nearly all failed escapes  serve no purpose in the story other than to further pad out the running time and to remind the audience that their watching an action movie rather than a filmed radio play  character problems abound  rudy is made to shift between sweet boy next door earnestness and hard edged wiseacre  the latter of which is not  at least at this point  something ben affleck is capable of pulling off  the former he can do with ease and often the actor coasts on his lackadaisical charm while those around him growl and swear  but then suddenly affleck starts growling and swearing alongside them like the class clown imitating a tarantino gangster  charlize theron  an extraordinary talent  is  like affleck  playing whatever part the script requires her to play  whether it be vulnerability at one moment  anger at the next  she never has a chance to evince any charm or make much of an impression beyond her obvious physical attributes  frankenheimer has her needlessly pop her top to further italicize this  gary sinise has played this role frequently  and here  as in snake eyes  he does the snarling bad guy thing with such over the top vitriol  the guy must be so incredibly bored of stomping through the same paces that going out of control is the only thing that keeps him interested any more   that it becomes more of an annoyance  oh there he goes again     than a threat  these are talented people who made the mistake of jumping on to a script with little but stock characters and a bag of tricks that it dully springs on its audience  
neg	a followup to disneys liveaction  101 dalmatians  thats better  more entertaining than the first  just as unlikely  with  102 dalmatians   the disney studios have proven that when it comes to going to the dogs  more is definitely  not  the merrier  1996s  101 dalmatians  certainly wasnt the greatest moviegoing experience of all time  but it did feature glenn close in an outrageous  largerthanlife performance  in addition  we had two amiable leads in the form of jeff daniels and joely richardson  and lots and lots of adorable spotted puppies  this time around there seem to be fewer puppies on the screen  and closes facial and physical gyrations are starting to feel as old as the 53yearold actress under that startling black and white wig of hers  but thats only half the problem with kevin limas laborious film  what makes  102 dalmatians  such a collosal bore is its embarrassing attempts at humor  here almost singlehandedly foisted on a wisecracking macaw who thinks hes a dog  voiced by eric idle   its rabid plotlessness  cruella goes after puppies again  winds up in goo again  and most of all  the incredibly wooden actors who plays the romantic  heroes  of the piece  a welshman named ioan gruffudd and the blanderthanbland alice evans as a parole officer named chlo   gruffudd is cute and harmless  perhaps  but evans cant even aspire to that  the dogs upstage them both  of course  but in the case of evans  even closes split ends are more animated  bad acting  however  seems to be a requirement for this sequel  since g  rard depardieu shows up as a french furrier with a haircut like robert de niros in  men of honor   jean pierre le pelt is a flamboyant fashion designer with a penchant for fine furs and depardieus overthetop antics mimic those of the campy close flail for flail  and wail for wail  frances most popular export besides brie has long since turned into a caricature of himself  and in  102 dalmatians  the producers milk that realization for all its worthle pelt likes to refer to the furry little critters as  poopies   par example  and ad nauseum   the finesses of the script  attributed to four screenwriters no less  and far removed from anything dodie smith ever dreamed up  are quickly dispensed with  since all it takes for a paroled cruella to be shaken from her years of successful aversion therapy in the slammer is the tolling of big ben     that done  its back to the mansion to roll around in her heretofore offlimits sables and minks and a plan to skin those little dahlings for the sake of a hooded designer gown  the dogs are pretty cutetry making a puppy look otherwisebut thats pretty much all they are  theres always the feeling that theres a trainer off in the wings  coaxing the dogs to open doors  or pick up their food bowls in unison  or pop a tape into the videocasette recorder  savvy holiday goers should skip  102 dalmatians  and pop the original 1961 animated classic into  their  vcrs instead  its one dalmatian less  but 101 more satisfying  
neg	onesided  doom and gloom  documentary about the possible annihilation of the human race as foretold by the bible  orson welles narrates and appears in the film in which he  along with bestselling author hal lindsey  discusses various prophecies from the bible and relates them to recent  well for 1976 anyway  events  the film is dated badly  as many things that are supposed to happen in the  future  never do  for example  the planets of the solar system were supposed to line up in the year 1982 and cause chaos here on earth  were still here  the arms race between the soviets and america was supposed to kickoff the apocalypse  were still here  some of the more ludicrous moments come when its alluded to that people like jimmy carter and henry kissinger may actually be the antichrist     also  theres ten minutes of stock footage at the end of the film meant to give us an idea of what the battle for armageddon might be like  if its anything like its depicted as here then its going to be incredibly boring  the late great planet earth is available on dvd from vci home video  it contains the film in standard form  aspect ratio of 1  33  1   although some moments of stock footage are letterboxed  also included are brief bios on orson welles and hal lindsey  as well as a trailer for another recent vci home video release  chariots of the gods  audio is mono dolby digital  and the video is fair to good for a film like this  i believe this is the first appearance of this film on any home video format so any condition at all is fine with me  certainly i never expected a remastered print  curiously  the menu screens on this dvd look nothing like the menu screens pictured on the back of the case  but theyre menu screens    so who really cares  pg 
neg	play it to the bone  the newest addition to ron sheltons sports  themed repertoire fails in numerous ways  like most of sheltons other great films  bull durham  white men cant jump   this dud unsuccessfully attempts to use athleticism as a method of connecting characters and creating interesting subplots  sheltons films are not considered sports films  but they do heavily revolve around a specific game to tell a story  shelton has been so good in the past at using sports to analyze the structure of society that from his collection of films we are given an examination of different classes and races living in various different regions  play it to the bone is unsuccessful because not only is the boxing theme dull  but the side story of the two guys and a girl travelling across the country is even worse  the film has no social message like its predecessors  the relationship between the friends  two failed boxers who must face off against each other in the ring for 50 thousand dollars  is very confusing for a number of reasons  the whole film  since it is primarily a  buddy picture   depends on the strength of the friendship the two characters have for each other  unfortunately  it is a very weak bond for the reasons listed below  1  we never see how cesar  antonio banderas  and vince  woody harrelson  meet  the two are so different from each other  that a scene of how this odd friendship developed should have been mandatory  2  vince and cesar argue every moment possible on their trip to las vegas  there is not one convincing moment dedicated to seeing the characters laugh together or actually agree on something  3  the third character on the trip  grace  lolita davidovich  stands in the way  she is in nearly every scene with them  making it impossible to understand the difficulty the two male characters are going to have when they fight each other  4  there are two many interfering  irrelevant side stories  vince is convinced that he sees jesus on a regular basis  cesar yells at the sky in spanish when he is angry  and grace tries to sell her inventions to hotel owner robert wagner  these boring tales only hurt the central plot  5  when it comes to time for the two men to fight  they dont even hesitate to pound each other  wasnt the whole point of the road trip to show that these two are friends who could never hurt each other  by the time the road trip part of the movie is over with  the film wants to be over  shelton  on the other hand  continues to tell his story  forty five painful minutes remain  the boxing scene between cesar and vince starts out very powerful and interestingly different from other boxing movies  however  the fight goes on for way too long and becomes very repetitive and predictable after awhile  kind of like the whole film  
neg	some movies i should just skip  my daughter and i had a really vile time at my favorite martian a few weeks back  and here comes another disney effectsfilled liveaction flick based on an old tv program  true  the probgram is only 15 years old this time  and its a cartoon  but its a cartoon i liked  and i was understandably reluctant to see what disney had done to it on the big screen  but my daughter really wanted to go  and how bad could it be  turns out i was right  mostly  inspector gadget  oddly enough  follows almost exactly the same format as my favorite martian  down to the jivetalking sidekick  at first i thought it was done by the same people  but imdb informs me that ig was directed by david kellogg and written by dana olsen and kerry ehrin  where mfm was directed by donald petrie and written by sherri stoner and deanna oliver  this odd similarity between the two movies may best be explained by the studio that produced it  where  formula  isnt just business  its a way of life  the producers who obviously micromanaged the two projects should get prominant screen credits  in some parts you can just hear them saying  more zany  i want more zany here  and  here    lets have a really painful sexual reference for no reason right here  make it really painful  i want the audience squirming in their seats    ok  thats fine  but i want you to add bug guts    what does this scene do  character depth  but wheres the zaniness  i dont see zany here  if you cant make it zany  cut it   the latter is the only explanation i can come up with for the absence of the thoroughly charming michelle trachtenberg for most of the movie  michelle  who plays penny  gadgets niece  shines in every scene shes in  but unfortunately she only gets about nine minutes of screen time  my guess is that the rest is on the cutting room floor  dabney colemans comedic talents are utterly wasted as chief quimby  i kept expecting him to say or do something really funny and somehow save the film  but instead  he does the best he can with some really poor lines in a few unexceptional scenes  he is thoroughly upstaged by cheri oteri as the  gidget bitch from hell  town mayor  oteris overly enthusiastic and continually selfcongratulatory speech patterns and mannerisms were so much like portland  oregons own manic mayor vera katz that i had to wonder if the studio wasnt poking fun at our fair town  or  maybe all career politicians are like that  i must say  matthew broderick does not stroll through inspector gadget as he did godzilla  he appears to have some fun with the film  especially as the evil gadget  rupert everett is entertaining as the maniacle claw  joely fisher does fine as the zany scientist and even better as the zany carbon copy of herself  her performance is one of the few things worth watching in the film  d  l  hughley plays the shuckinandjivin vehicular sidekick  in a role that firmly sets emancipation back 20 years  the dialog is    lets face it  its pretty bad  the tagline after a major setpiece battle is a faux pas that makes no sense in context  a lot of the lines  especially hughleys  appear to be made up as they go along  by people with little gift for adlib  about threequarters of the film is a somewhat unnecessary origin story for both gadget and claw  gadget then spends the latter third of the movie trying to locate claw and having various altercations  not really  battles   with the evil gadget  penny does about a minute and a half of the detective work her character did every week in the cartoon  let me rage here just for a minute  michelle trachtenberg was an excellent choice for the penny character  shes utterly charming  and has excellent experience  harriet the spy  for the part of the pintsize detective  why she is so underutilized in this film is a real mystery  the film loses a star for casting brilliance coupled with scripting  or editing  stupidity  inspector gadget is missing the long  long stretches of potty humor that  among other things  made my favorite martian so unbearable  but its a very short movie  so perhaps something was cut at the last moment  probably the best scenes in the film occur during the end credits  the  evil sidekick support group  is especially worth seeing  and has an amazing number of cameo appearances for the few seconds its onscreen  all in all  another bad live action film from the premere studio for bad live action films  i wonder if disney uses the revenues for its generally moneymaking cartoons to produce these losers  but if true  why  if theyre trying for another mary poppins  they need to find a team that can produce one  and then give them a chance to do it  
neg	hong kong cinema has been going through a bad spell  the last few productions have been effect laded action adventures that combine both the best and worst of american filmmaking with the same qualities of hong kong films  in a nutshell  the current crop of films from hong kong has been maddeningly convoluted and visually sumptuous  with the one time british colony reverting back to mainland ownership  a lot of hong kongs best talents have crossed the pacific to work on u  s  productions  such talents as jackie chan  rush hour   chow yunfat  anna  the king  the corrupter  and yuen wooping  the matrix  have all moved into the budget bloated world of hollywood filmmaking with mixed results  now we can add two other hong kong filmmakers to the mix with star jet li and director and fight choreographer corey yuen kwai  unfortunately  romeo must die  bears all the trademarks of a typical hollywood action film and none of hong kongs rhythms  the film opens in a nightclub as an asian couple is necking  enter a group of chinese gangsters led by kai sing  russell wong   kai confronts po sing  jon kit lee   the son of kais boss and leader of the local chinese family  a battle breaks out between the bodyguards of the club and kai  who handily kicks and punches his opponents down  its not until club owner silk  rapper dmx   bears down on kai and his henchmen that the fight ends  the following morning po sing is found dead  suspicions escalate  as issac oday  delroy lindo  is told of the murder  his concern that the war between his and the chinese family may explode and ruin his plans to move out of the business of corruption and into a legitimate venture  issac implores his chief of security  mac  issiah washington  to watch after his son and daughter  the scene shifts to a prison in china  where han sing  jet li  learns of his brothers murder  he fights with the guards and is dragged off to be disciplined  hung upside down by one foot  han recovers and battle his way out of custody in a blistering display of fight choreography and stunt work  escaping to the u  s  han sets out to find the person responsible for his brothers death   romeo must die  is in many ways a fun film  it is both absurd and assured  the basic plot of a gangster wanting to become legitimate echoes  the godfather   the relationship between jet lis han and aaliyahs trish oday reminds us of abel ferreras  china girl   except that romeo must dies couple never once exchange more than a loving glance towards one another  their romance is much more puritanical than any other romance in film history  the performances are adequate if not fully acceptable  li  of course has the showiest part  having to express both an innocents and steadfast determination  allayah  in her feature film debut manages to carry what little is asked of her with a certain style and grace  its obvious that the camera loves her and she is very photogenic  but  still the part is under written in such a way that even a poor performance would not have affected it  delro lindo as issac oday carries himself well in the film  an unsung and under appreciated actor  mr  lindo turns out the films best performance  the other performers are all adequate in what the script asks of them except for d  b  woodside as issacs son  colin  the performance is undirected  with the character changing his tone and demeanor in accordance with whatever location he is in  an unfocused performance that should have been reigned in and  or better written  first time director andrzej bartkowiak does a workmanlike job in handling the film  having a career as one of the industrys best cinematographers  bartkiwiak knows how to set up his shots  and  romeo must die  does look good  but the pacing of the film is lethargic  only coming to a semblance of life during the fight scenes  the script by eric bernt and john jarrell is not focused in such a way that we can care about the characters or the situations they are in  the big gambit of buying up waterfront property to facilitate the building of a sports center for a nfl team is needlessly confusing  and of course the common practice of one character being the comic relief of the film becomes painfully obvious here as anthony anderson as allayahs bodyguard  maurice has no comic timing whatsoever  the best things about the film are its fight scenes  jet li is a master of these intricate physical battles  one needs only to see his film  fist of legend  to understand that the man is without peer in the realm of martial art combat  here  jet is given the opportunity to show off in a way that  lethal weapon 4   jets u  s  debut  didnt allow  unfortunately  a lot of jets fights are aided with computer effects that detract from his ability and precision  also  romeo must die  must be noted as having the most singularly useless effect ever committed to film  and that is an xray effect that appears three times during the course of the film  showing the effect of bone crushing blows on an opponent  obviously a homage to the famed xray scene from sonny chibas  streetfighter   the scenes here are just pointless and interfere with the pacing of the film  its as if the film has stopped and a video game has been inserted  one problem though about the fight scenes  those that are familiar with hong kong action know that even though the films are fantasies and are as removed from reality as any anime or cartoon  they do have an internal rhythm to them  a heartbeat  so to speak in their choreography  the fight scenes in a hong kong film breath with an emotional resonance  this is created by the performance  the direction and the editing  here in  romeo must die   there is no staccato  every fight scene  even though technically adroit and amazing becomes boring as the editing both cuts away from battle at hand and simple follows a set pattern  the rhythm is monotonous  a hong kong film has a tempo that changes  heightening its emotional impact  rmd is limited to a standard 44 tempo  not allowing for any emotional content whatsoever  a fine example of this difference can be found by examining a couple of jackie chans films   watch the restaurant fight from the film  rush hour  and notice that the context of the fight  while technically amazing is rather flat  the framing and cut always do not help   now look at the warehouse fight from  rumble in the bronx   there you have a heartbeat  and emotional draw that doesnt let the audience catch its breath  the stops and pauses for dramatic effect work perfectly  causing the viewer to be both astounded and flabbergasted  here in romeo must die  the fight scenes have no more emotional content or character than any john wayne barroom brawl  jet li is a grand and personable screen presence  its a shame that his full talents were not used to full effect here  one day filmmakers here in the u  s  will stop making films by the numbers and start to embrace the style and emotion that has made hong kong action pictures such a commodity  until then  well be left with emotionally hollow product like  the replacement killer  and  currently  romeo must die   
neg	i wish i could have been in the pitch meeting for this ridiculous notion of a sports film  i bet it was some hotshot warner brothers agent with an dark armani suit and manicured fingernails saying   it would be a very light comedic version of any given sunday  and we could throw in the hoosiers angle with the casting of gene hackman as the tough but determined coach  throw in that hunk of a guy keanu reeves and a cast of wacky characters and poof  well have a hit on our hands   the replacements is a hokey mistake of a football film  a mishmash collage of onedimensional characters  rampant stereotypes of cultures and races  cliched emotional statements of purpose  and keanu reeves wishing for the matrix sequel to start principal photography  the story is loosely based around the pro football players strike in 1987 and a ragtag team of replacement football players taking up the reins of professional play for a variety of teams with names like the washington sentinels  keanu reeves stars as shane falco  a hasbeen football college player looking for redemption  gene hackman dons a fedora like tom landry and speaks with gusto like a certain coach in hoosiers  rounding out the cast includes swingers jon favreau  7up pitchman orlando jones  gruff owner jack warden  and cast of wacky and unknown actors who do amazing jobs of portraying perfectly stereotyped characters  the drunken welshman  the overweight sumo wrestler  the black convict  the violent cop  and the dumb  dumb cheerleaders  this bunch of nobodies try to make something of themselves by taking the team to the season playoffs with unbelievable football plays  gene hackman yelling and asking himself where the hell dennis hopper is  keanu reeves looking for his body double making him look good on the football field  and cheerleaders hired from the local strip club making the girls from coyote ugly look like waitresses from dennys  the usual things happen like clockwork  the hero rises from the ashes of failure  the team comes together in unity  the hero falls in love with a conventional love interest  the football games are won with enough schlock value to make the most ignorant of audiences cheer and clap  and the cheerleaders make you want to go home and watch late night movies on cinemax  its also a shame when decent directors with good movies under their belts go to seed and become television and sequel hacks  howard deutch  who was behind the camera for two of the best films of 80s  pretty in pink and some kind of wonderful  has since been doing grumpier old men and caroline in the city episodes  obviously the problem is that without a good script  any director will fail in the end  sports films are strong vehicles for cinematic glory  gritty tales involving the honor of men and the valiant efforts taken for the ultimate goal of victory in the face of insurmountable odds  the rise and fall of gallant heroes  and stories of dramatic gusto painted with blood and sweat on the battlefield of life  the replacements offers none of this  
neg	if youre into watching near on two hours of bored  foulmouthed florida teens having sex  doing drugs  having sex  listening to eminem  having sex  playing video games  having sex  and killing one of their peers  then  bully  s for you  based on jim schutzes novelization of a truelife event   bully  charts the story of a handful of disenchanted teenagers who  in 1993  murdered their high school bully in cold  calculated blood  the film could have provided fascinating insights into what turned these aimless kids into premeditated killers  in the hands of controversial director larry clark   kids    however  it has less to say about its subject matter and more to say about the filmmakers pornographic proclivities  in terms of the incident and what provoked it   bully  stirs up nothing new  the high schoolers are presented as a uniformly screwed up lotbored with life  not much ambition  promiscuous  profane  the bully in question  bobby kent  nick stahl   is certainly an unpleasant piece of work but he doesnt exactly tower over his colleagues in the pathological department  he hounds and harries and humiliates his  best friend  marty  played by brad renfro  and martys girlfriend lisa  rachel miner  doesnt care for it at all and comes up with the idea of killing bobby  simply remove him from the equation  marty and lisa and a handful of their promiscuous  profane  and stoner friends  plus a recruited hit man     lure bobby to a swamp one night  stab him  beat him over the head with a baseball bat  and dump him into the canal where the sand crabs and the gators  presumably  finish him off  theres no remorsethe next day theyre talking about it as openly as a homework assignment  they did it because they wanted to  and because they could  whats most troubling about the film  however  isnt the unsettling subject matter and the matteroffact way these young people go about eliminating one of their own but the way in which clark is constantly distracted by his own material  not only is the nudity plentiful and graphic in  bully  but theres also an uneasy  exploitative feel to it  gratuitous crotch shots abound  one of which makes the zipper cutaway in  theres something about mary  look like the height of subtlety    clark is so preoccupied with his female  predominantly  leads that you forget  at times  what this movie is supposed to be about  the stripping bare  literally and figuratively  of these actors  who are  after all  playing underage teenagers  becomes harder to watch over time  as you begin to feel for them and question the motives of the man behind the camera  the conclusion of  bully  offers up literal snapshots of information about the sentences imposed on each of the protagonists for their involvement in the crime  its a short sequence of stillsheather  7 years  ali  40 years  lisa  life imprisonment  for examplebut its infinitely more telling than the 110 minutes of rampant unpleasantness that precedes it   bully  aims for truth  exploits it shamelessly  then bludgeons it to death  
neg	sean connery stars as a harvard law professor who heads back into the courtroom  by way of the everglades  to defend a young  educated black man  blair underwood   the guy is on death row for the murder of a white girl  and says that his confession was coerced from the regions tough  black cop  lawrence fishburne   watching connery and fishburne bump heads for two hours is amusing enough  but the plots a joke  theres no logic at work here  tone is also an issuethere is none  director arne glimcher never establishes exactly what his film is trying to say  is it a statement on human rights  is it a knockoff of silence of the lambs  glimcher never tells  instead  he forces his characters to jump through hoop after hoop  over drawbridge after drawbridge  hoping that the audience wont notice whats missing  just awful  the madness of king george 107 min   not rated  still wondering who nigel hawthorne is  then check out his oscar nominated work in the madness of king george  still playing in both raleigh and chapel hill  stage director nicholas hytner  in a remarkable screen debut  has adapted alan bennetts 1991 tragic comedy to fine effect  sumptuouslooking and only mildly stuffy  the film charts the madness that plagued king george iii  hawthorne  almost 30 years into his reign  a man of no importance 98 min   rated  r   in suri krishnammas a man of no importance  albert finney disappears so deeply into the role of a lovable dublin bus conductor that its a shame when the film gets so serious around him  his character is a conductor with a passion for oscar wilde  he reads to his riders  and once a year  with their help  he tries to stage one of the authors plays  this year its  salome   for about an hour  theres a sweet magic behind finney and his troupe of workingclass stiffs  conflict arises  but its small stuffan administrator from the bus company here  an outraged catholic pork butcher  michael gambon  there  but with finney at the wheel  so to speak  the film rolls smoothly over these plot pointsjust like the gorgeous leland doubledecker bus in the story  where things get serious is toward the end of the film  when the plot takes a turn that the bus never would  and the story heads down a very dark alley that marks the end of an enjoyable ride  the twist makes senseand helps paint a complete picture of finneys characterbut the trip to get there betrays the light  airy atmosphere of what had come before  its not a fatal misstep  mind you  and it doesnt send the story soaring into the realms of incredulity  its just a turn off  dr  strangelove 93 min   not rated  mein fuhrer  the most fun that  i  had last month was in durham  at the carolina  at a midweek screening of stanley kubricks pitchblack comedy dr  strangelove  or how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb   the 1964 film stars peter sellers  in three roles   george c  scott  sterling hayden  and slim pickens  their antics brought the house down  which  to my surprise  was packed by an audience younger than the film  
neg	among multitude of erotic thrillers  that had been released in the early 1990s  woman of desire is interesting only because it was directed by robert ginty  star of the bgrade action films of the previous decade  those who tend not to be nostalgic about 1980s can find very good reason in the type of movies that made ginty the star  as director  ginty did very little to improve that impression  the protagonist of the movie is jack  played by jeff fahey   yacht skipper that falls madly in love with christina ford  played by bo derek   however  she has relationship with rich and powerful jonathan ashby  steven bauer   one stormy night  the tragedy occurs and jack is accused of rape and murder  however  his good friend walter j  hill  robert mitchum  happens to be very good lawyer  so jack might even prove his innocence in the end  belonging more to the genre of courtroom drama than erotic thriller  woman of desire distinguishes itself from similar films by having almost all characters behaving like total idiots  unfortunately  this film isnt comedy and any laugh is unintentional  the characters are totally antipathetic and irritating and soon we stop caring what would happen to them  the actors that play them dont help either  that is especially the case with jeff fahey  whose jack is so stupid that even the character played by fahey in lawnmower man looks like a genius in comparison  his partner bo derek  on the other hand  shows that she didnt age enough to cease being the sex goddess  but that is small compensation for her apparent lack of acting talents  ginty  on the other hand  tries to bring some life in the movie by using many flashbacks and strange angles of shooting  but in the end it gets only irritating to the already bored and dissatisfied viewer  
neg	 lake placid  marks yet another entry in the series of  predator pics  that were a screen staple in the late 1970s  post  jaws   and were revived recently by the godawful  anaconda    placid  claims to be a  horrorcomedy  its directed by the same guy who did  house  but its attempts at humor are actually less funny than deadpan seriousness of  anaconda   paleontologist kelly scott  bridget fonda  is sent up to maine to examine a tooth removed from a body that had been bitten in half on the lake  discovering that the tooth belongs to a crocodile  which shouldnt even be in this hemisphere   kelly goes crochunting with game warden jack wells  bill pullman  and sheriff hank keough  brendan gleeson   theyre joined by an unwelcome guest  hector cyr  oliver platt   a scholar who worships crocs and searches all over the world for them  along the way  the merry band meets mrs  delores bickerman  betty white   a weird old lady who lives out on the lake  you know what to expect from this movie  lots of shots where the camera is the eyes of the predator  croc cam  swimming toward someones dangling legs while  jaws  like music plays  one character  hector  whos obsessed with the croc and stupidly endangers the rest  another character who insists that the predator cant possibly exist  unlike its slippery cousin  anaconda    lake placid  wants to present its formulaic plot tongueincheek  which is selfdefeating  the result is neither scary nor funny  its just tedious  while director steve miner has several horror films on his resume  including two installments of  friday the 13th  and  halloween h20    screenwriter david kelley  best known as the creator of tv series like  ally mcbeal  and  chicago hope   doesnt seem to have the stomach for a chomp em up flick  the body count is surprisingly low and doesnt include any of the major characters  and most annoyingly kelly and hector insist that they capture the crocodile alive rather than killing it    lake placid  manages to have it both waysill let you discover how for yourself   the croc itself is mostly computergenerated  of course  like the snake in  anaconda   the thirtyfoot monster crocodile doesnt seem real  it moves too quickly and in ways that seem unnatural   lake placid  also offers little explanation for why a giant crocodile is in maine  there is a lot of semimystical mumbo jumbo about how  we really dont know much about crocodiles   they would have been better off going with something like the urban myth about alligators in the sewers  a movie like this doesnt have to offer much of an explanation  radioactive mutant  creature from outer space    but it does have to give the audience something to hang their disbelief on  pullman and fonda seem to be plodding through the movie on autopilot  most of the time  theyre probably thinking about killing their agents or wondering if making this movie marks the end of their careers  platt and white  on the other hand  seem to be giving their best efforts  and they manage to squeeze a few chuckles out of this sorry script  
neg	capsule  where are you tonight  leni rienfenstal  starship troopers is an expensive  hateful and unenjoyable piece of violent pornography  and bad pornography  at that  it is not good cinema  not good storytelling  and not even stupid fun  its so cynically  calculatedly boneheaded that even the least demanding members of the audience i was with were alternately bored and revulsed  its one of the worst movies ive seen in a long time  why am i calling this movie pornography  pornography  in the abstract  is anything which is calculated to appeal to the baser instincts  i remember reading a review of full metal jacket which described the climact moment at the end of the movie  where private joker has to shoot the downed vc sniper  as  a nearpornographic eternity   i didnt agree with that assessment  but i could see what was being implied  the reviewer felt as if the audience was being incited to stand up and pump their fists and shout  do er  man  do er   that sentiment is echoed ad nauseam throughout starship troopers  its  literally  like a giant recruitment film that has gone berserk  it tries frantically to enlist our emotions but it winds up only being dull or sickening  the film takes place in our future  when earth has come under attack by some alien species that doesnt appear to have intelligence  to counterattack  humankind does the single stupidest thing imaginable  instead of nuke the planet from orbit  which theyre clearly capable of  they send down grunts with m16 rifles  this isnt heinlein  its a bad wwii movie  one where all the most obvious points of satire are ever poked and prodded in combat scenes that are noisy  repetitive  and ultimately tiresome   one scene has a journalist on a battlefield  filimg soldiers being slaughtered  and ends with groaning predictability  said cameraman gets skewered  too   the soldiers and their commanders are consistently idiotic  they do not possess a germ of tactical intelligence or even common sense  they dont even behave like soldiers in a bad  movie   and therefore we dont care about them  we hated the tom berenger character in platoon  but he  mattered   and therefore we were curious to learn about his fate  here  we dont even hate the bugs  whats there to hate  hating them would be like cursing a hurricaine  if theres anything really hateful there  the movie doesnt know how to give it to us  the screenwriter  ed neumeier  perhaps a better appelation would be  screen typist   and director  the increasingly talentimpaired paul verhoeven  have not found any way to make the characters or the story serve each other  one of the subplots concerns a woman pilot whos great at getting out of tight situations  and does it again and again and again  once or twice is fine  by the fifth or sixth time  its worn out its welcome  theres never any sense that these people are really thinking their way out of anything  or really being tested to show their mettle  also  the movie is irritatingly selective with how effective the bugs are to earthling weaponry  if a bug has one of the humans screaming in its grasp  then five guys can stand around it and blast away on full auto without doing a damned thing  but if one human gets cornered  he lays waste to whole platoons of bugs with one clip  uhhuh  the very worst feature of the movie is its repulsive quasifascist flavor  i say  quasi  because while the movie uses many of the trappings of fascism ot eroticize its action  the gear  the uniforms  etc   the movie doesnt have the nerve  or the brains  to be genuinely fascist  or intelligent about the subject  the bumpers between scenes  which are apparently intended to parody wartime recruitment propaganda are propaganda  just so clumsy and oafish that they wind up making the bugs look relatively innocuous in comparison  like the rest of the movie  theres more  i suppose  but its not worth it  the acting is bland  neither arsenic nor gravy  the music disposable  the camerawork turgid  the heartbreaking thing is that it makes independence day look like a masterpiece  
neg	the classic story  the production which ruined it marking the centennial anniversary of the 1896 h  g  wells classic  new line cinema  armed with a stellar cast and expert makeup effects man stan winston  alien  predator  terminator etc  churns out yet another hollywood film based on the classic novel  of course  the production is no doubt much more superior compared to the earlier 2 movies  one of which was made back in the 1933 and the other in the 1977  under the title the island of lost souls  sounds like a much better title     the story begins with edward douglas  thewlis   a un representative sent to oversee a peace treaty somewhere in the south pacific  who is saved from the brink of death by montgomery  kilmer  after his plane crashes into the sea  douglas soon learns that montgomery is working for dr  moreau  who incidently  owns the island and also a reputable geneticist who has been awarded the nobel prize  his hosts reluctance to allow him to freely move around the island becomes clear when he stumbled into moreaus lab  when a monstrous birth was in progress  even worse  the other workers in the lab are not exactly normal  people   douglas stumbles across yet another shocking discovery when he is led to the beastpeople community  which considers dr  moreau their maker  using shocktherapy and the law  dr  moreau has long been able to keep his beastpeople civilised to some extent but there are a few animalmen who are just too savage to be controlled  the island of dr  moreau questions the ability of men playing god  dr  moreau is a man obsessed with creating a race of beings which is free from hate and violence    but the savage within every beast is not something one can suppress for long  moreau has no doubt a very interesting premise within its grasp  even so  the production has failed to make the most out of it  there are too many characters to put your attention to and the worst thing is  the characters are not  prioritized  so when the audience is led to believe that a particular character is important  before they know it  he or she or it perishes     rather ungloriously at times too  perhaps there is some redemption in the development of the beast people  especially aissa  balk   the most human of moreaus creations  the two very important characters  montgomery and dr  moreau himself receive no development at all and it is in this area that the script fails miserably  more screen time could have been used for character interaction and development  i really would have liked it better if  say  they delved more into dr  moreaus obsession  montgomerys purpose in the story and justification to as why the beastpeople had to rebel  maybe the nature of the screenplay  which incidently  does not incorporate much action sequences in the film  forced the filmmakers to  cut a long story short  and make it more of an action film than anything else  its still summer  and movies have to be  marketable    the special effects too  are really nothing for anyone to shout about  at most  i would say the beastmen looked just a bit more realistic than those apes in planet of the apes  this h  g  wells classic really has potential to be a good film  unfortunately  after 2 adaptations  they still could not decide on how and what to focus their attention on to really bring out that important message which makes up the entire essence of the story  as a third outing  the island of dr  moreau accomplishes little and is nothing more than an inferior version of the planet of the apes  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	lengthy and lousy are two words to describe the boring drama the english patient  great acting  music and cinematography were nice  but too many dull subplots and characters made the film hard to follow  ralph fiennes  strange days  schindlers list  gives a gripping performance as count laszlo almasy  a victim of amnesia and horrible burns after world war ii in italy  the story revolves around his past  in flashback form  making it even more confusing  anyway  he is taken in by hana  juliette binoche  the horseman on the roof   a boring wartorn nurse  she was never really made into anything  until she met an indian towards the end  developing yet another subplot  count almasy begins to remember what happened to him as it is explained by a stranger  willem dafoe  basquiat   his love  kirstin scott thomas  mission impossible  was severely injured in a plane crash  and eventually died in a cave  he returned to find her dead and was heartbroken  so he flew her dead body somewhere  but was shot down from the ground  dont get the wrong idea  it may sound good and the trailer may be tempting  but good is the last thing this film is  maybe if it were an hour less  it may have been tolerable  but 2 hours and 40 minutes of talking is too much to handle  the only redeeming qualities about this film are the fine acting of fiennes and dafoe and the beautiful desert cinematography  other than these  the english patient is full of worthless scenes of boredom and wastes entirely too much film   
neg	out of sight director steven sorderbergh baffles the hell out of us all in the limey  a cold  uninvolving  confusing new thriller  though the plot description may at first seem like it came from the pen of elmore leonard  author of out of sight  as well as jackie brown  get shorty and pulp fiction   after you watch it  you realize that its not nearly good enough  in an aggressively nonlinear fashion  the limey  li  mey  noun  an english gentleman  tells the story of wilson  terrence stamp   a british excon just released from a 9 year stint in prison for armed robbery  he has come to the us to seek vengeance for the death of his daughter jenny  he doesnt know much about the circumstances of her demise  all he has is a name  terry valentine  valentine was jennys former boyfriend  a wealthy and corrupt record executive  hes played by peter fonda  in his first major role since the terrific ulees gold in 1997  seeking valentines reclusive place of residence turns out to be no easy task for wilson  he finally finds the impressive abode high in the mountains and sneaks in just as valentine is having a big party  he winds up breaking his cover eventually  setting off valentines head of security and valentine himself  who decides to run for it  what a mess  i have no problem when films refuse to be constricted by the linearity of time  pulp fiction  which twisted time every which way  was a masterpiece  but i do take exception to movies that decide to play around with it for no reason other than to confuse the viewer  the limey does exactly that  the plot is permeated with flashbacks  flashforwards and what can only be described as random timetravel  without any evident purpose  there is no method to this movies madness  it uses a fancy way to tell a story that would be better off told more conventionally and more comprehendably  the plot isnt particularly interesting in the first place  traditional  mildly hackneyed and not very involving  this is a sort of brooding film  our protagonist doesnt speak much and the action sequences are done with an annoyingly perfunctory attitude  i felt like the director wasnt very interested in the proceedings himself  almost like he made this film for a paycheck  ditto for the editing  which seems to be deliberately sloppy and unpleasant  sixties icon terrence stamp manages to at least be menacing as the aging criminal  hes not much in the way of stature but he has a surprisingly imposing physical presence that works to his advantage here  peter fonda is an unbelievably underrated actor  hes shy  quiet but always effective  hes adept at conveying emotions through speech rather than expression  his feelings dont always show on his face by you can always tell what they are  this is basically a conventional thriller told in a pretentiously bizarre fashion  why soderbergh couldnt just parrot down and tell a story  i dont know  but what he does do certainly doesnt work  the result is a wild cornucopia of images that amount to precisely nil  even the action scenes dont work  1999 may have signified the death of the traditional act one  act two  act three storyline  but obviously some movies have not yet transcended it  shall we go back to basics  
neg	a pseudointellectual film about the pseudointellectual world of art magazines  high art is as wasted as its drugaddled protagonists  in the only notable part of the movie  ally sheedy and radha mitchell deliver nice performances in the two leading roles  not that lisa cholodenkos script or direction makes you care much about either character  living in a world of heroin induced highs  they float along until they fall in love with each other  this uninviting picture  full of pretentious minor characters  has a receptionist that reads dostoevski and a woman in the restroom line who is a certified genius  having recently been awarded a prestigious mcarthur grant  24yearold syd  radha mitchell   who has a rather bland  livein boyfriend  was just promoted to assistant editor at the artistic photography magazine  frame   although the receptionist is impressed  syd is mainly a gofer for her boss until she meets famous photographer lucy berliner  ally sheedy   for her to do photos for  frame   lucy demands that syd be promoted to editor and assigned to her since lucy fancies her  lucy lives with her current lover  a washed up german actress named greta  played with a frequently indecipherable series of mumbles by patricia clarkson  the two of them and their friends wile away their time snorting and shooting up dope  usually heroin  this does not happen in a single episode  but becomes more commonplace than sleeping in the picture  syd  who lives in the apartment below them  joins in on the fun and becomes a member of the zombie club  lucy seems pretty happy with her life of drugs  which apparently is funded by her mother  lucy quit working professionally 10 years ago since she thought she was being  pigeonholed   and  since her mother has money  we can only assume that thats how lucy supports her habit and procures her living expenses  a typical scene has the editors arguing about whether a potential photographers work is transcendental or merely classical  that no one has a clue as to the dogma they are spouting becomes obvious but not particularly funny   your work has a cultural currency that is important now   is the artistspeak that the frames manager uses to convince lucy to show her pictures in the magazine  when the big scene comes in which lucy puts the moves on syd  her idea of a romantic line is   i want to get high with you   in lucys world  sex and drugs come handinhand  and the movie  except for the obligatory scene of someone almost overdosing  shows drug usage as being a hip and natural part of the art scene  this vacuous picture throws in a standard downer ending in an attempt to manipulate our emotions  in another movie  it might have worked  but in this one the reaction is likely to be decidedly muted  high art runs 1  36  it is rated r for explicit sex  pervasive drug use and language and is not appropriate for those younger than college age  
neg	 party camp   is one of the most mindnumbingly brainless comedies ive seen in awhile  a late ripoff of the  meatballs  series  the film follows a group of young camp counselors at camp chipmunk  thats really about all that can be said about the  plot  because nothing much happens  except that the main character  wisecracking jerry  andrew ross   has the hots for a cute blonde  kerry brennan   and there is a big contest in the climax  how fun  since   party camp   has practically no screenplay and there is no talent at all involved  the least the makers could have done was make it raunchy and exploitative  its not that i think exploitation is necessarily a good quality  but when you are talking about a dull turkey like this  the least that could have been done would be to fill it with a lot of mindless sex  even a psychopathic slasher at the camp would have done the trick  at least  then  it wouldnt have been such a chore to sit through  never before have i seen so many jokes fall astoundingly flat  the comedy was easy to spot  but it wasnt the least bit funny  it was groaninducing  constantly throghout  i was asking myself if director gary graver actually thought this movie was worth anything  so what saves   party camp   from the dreaded zero star rating  well  thats simple  jewel shepard  as a flighty bimbo  was admittedly fun to watch  although nothing could have saved this film from the lowest depths of motion picture trash  at least if the film had centered on shepard  she might have been able to add a little spice to an otherwise rancid  lowbudget teen comedy  
neg	im currently accepting all future names for drew barrymore characters  in the wedding singer  she was julia gulia  in never been kissed  shes josie grossie  future db character names include  janet granite  janey grainy  and for that nc17 project in the works  jojo    aw forget it  ill stick to my day job  this is a teen movie  all right  except the main characters arent teens  drew barrymore is a copy editor at the chicago sun times who gets her big break as a reporter  only its very clear from the onset that she lacks the toughness and the pushy extravertedness that marks the best of reporters  the story shes covering is not really a story  but a story in the making  she is to return to high school as a student and explain whats really going on  the irony is that drews character  was such a dweeb first time around  that she is terrified at going back  when she does  she says the wrong things  wears the wrong clothes  and projects the  i know the answer  in class that popular kids  or at least popular kids in the movies  reject  at least she befriends nerdy aldys  joan of arcs leelee sobieskiwatch for her   who turns out to be more beautiful than those who are  supposed  to be more beautiful than her  what works  drews geeky oldself  after a start in films that was headline driven  and a nadir of roles that had her play the sluttish character  its a surprise to see her with bad hair  big glasses and braces  its very funny  what doesnt work  drews geeky newself  come on  nobody dresses as bad as she does  couldnt she just go to the gap and take suggestions  had she dressed like princess leia it would have been better  the comedy is supposed to progress when drews younger brother  played with zest by david arquette  reenlists to jumpstart his baseball career  now  how in the world can somebody as nerdy  but in a funny way  as he can be the most popular kid in the school    in a day   the dialogue in the film is  well  an embarrassment  her coworkers  molly shannon  john c  reilly and gary marshall  are in terminal hyperdrive  her teenage peers  except sobieski  are so inept and stupid that theres little bite from them  couldnt the filmmakers watch heathers first  lastly  i am proud to say that i caught a significant gaffe in the film  if you see the film  youd know what im talking about  drew walks into a bar  has her hand stamped  and over the night associates with some rastafarians with some delicious  um  cake  she goes wild  sleeps in late  when she wakes  she rushes off to school  without showering  without noticing that her head  lying on her stamped hand all night  has transferred part of the stamps image to her forehead  spelling  loser   funny  eh     except that the hand would have transferred that image backwords  
neg	when it comes to the average teenage romantic comedy  i expect negative reviews from critics left and right  predictable  unoriginal  and forgettable will most likely be the three adjectives to haunt the down to yous and the drive me crazys released by the dozens these last couple of years  what i really look for in this kind of movie is the entertainment value while im sitting in the theater  am i enjoying myself  is this a comfortable break from my week of finals  this is why i have given films like final destination or road trip high marks  i had a party of a time wasting my money on something i wont remember next week  so last week i opened up the new york times  and  no surprise  boys and girls got a negative review  daily news  negative  reelviews  negative  epinions  com  negative  this was nothing new  american pie  final destination  road trip didnt get such hot reviews and i loved those guilty pleasures  same goes for shes all that  a formulaic but enjoyable pygmalion adaptation that got unjustly pounded  since boys and girls reunites shes all that director robert iscove and actor freddie prinze jr   i predicted d  j  vu al over again  but  still curious  i asked around my school and from the one or two people who had seen it  the reactions were far from positive  i had made up my mind  ill catch it on video or cable in a couple of years  but  soon after  following a series of unexpected events  we couldnt get into shaft because it is rated r   i found myself watching boys and girls  whoops  boys and girls is about a  nerdy  smart  boy named ryan  prinze jr   and a  popular  flirt  girl named jennifer  claire forlani   briefly meeting as preteens and now attending the same college  the two bump into each other so many times that eventually they become best friends  but in the movies  a male and a female cannot be friends without having that nagging feeling of attraction for each other  with advice from their roommates  amanda detmer  jason biggs   ryan and jennifer attempt to discover the true meaning of their relationship  the film definitely lives up to the dreaded three adjectives  and mindless entertainment is nowhere to be found  i could hardly sit through the 93 minute running time for several reasons  the dialogue is probably the worst i have ever seen in any movie  mainly because the whole movie depends on the boring script and the ridiculous words these characters use is what hollywood thinks kids can relate to  it is almost offensive  an example of an insightful conversation   youre dumb  dumb  dumb  dumb  dumb    no    followed by a mandy mooreesque tune background   well its not as bad as wing commander i guess  the supporting cast is also painfully useless  detmer and biggs stand in the way for anything interesting to happen with their own boring  pointless subplots  and although this is supposed to be from both perspectives of the human sex  prinze jrs ryan dominates the screen while forlanis jennifer simply acts as a dilemma for him to work with  we never learn anything about jennifer which is a shame too because forlani is the only actor to bring any life into her character  teenager or not  youll hate this movie  i guarantee it  maybe i should rent shes all that again  is it really as good as i think it is  
neg	all through its production and into the early days of its initial  aborted prerelease publicity  hard rain bore the appropriate moniker of the flood  ultimately  however  paramount pictures  nervous that this movie would be confused with 1996s other  underperforming disaster films  dantes peak  volcano   changed the title and shifted the release date by nearly a year  but  to paraphrase the bard  swill  by any other name  would smell as rank  no number of name changes can help this picture  its not just about a disaster  it is a disaster  hard rain is the case of a movie that gets progressively worse with every passing minute  the best shot occurs during the opening credits  as the camera pans over the streets and byways of huntingburg  indiana as the water level slowly rises  the community  protected by an overworked dam  is being evacuated as the rain continues to pour relentlessly from the cloudchoked skies  from that moment on  its all downhill  whatever initial entertainment value the film possesses has long since drained away by the halfway point  it takes forever to get to the end credits  this is one of the longestseeming 95minute motion pictures i have recently endured  basically  hard rain is one extended  dull chase sequence punctuated by occasional shootouts  theres a lot of water  broken glass  gunfire  and explosions  its all very routine and uninteresting because there arent any real characters and the plot only occasionally makes sense  the films conclusion is so preposterous that its almost worth watching for the sheer masochistic enjoyment of seeing the monumentally idiotic way that the film makers decide to resolve the myriad subplots that are floating around  action films are supposed to become progressively more invigorating as they rush towards a conclusion  graham yost  the writer of both speed and hard rain  surely understands that principle  unfortunately  neither he  nor cinematographerturneddirector mikael salomon  a far off place   applies it  the action in hard rain grows tedious through repetition  we see the same kinds of things  speedboat chases  flood damage  shootouts  etc   over and over again  the movie constantly recycles about twenty minutes worth of material to pad the running time out to an acceptable movie length  the storyline gives us a number of paperthin characters in contrived circumstances  theres tom  christian slater   the one dimensional action hero who works as a security guard driving an armored car full of cash  he and his partner  charlie  edward asner  tvs  lou grant    get stuck on a street thats rapidly turning into a river  a group of men  led by jimmy  morgan freeman   arrive on the scene not as rescuers but as robbers  after charlie is killed in a shootout  tom hides the money  then runs  as he swims and boats his way through huntingburgs roads  he encounters some of the locals  karen  minnie driver   a wouldbe love interest  a bickering old couple  richard dysart and betty white   who are on hand to provide comic relief  and the easilycorrupted sheriff  randy quaid   whose seeming helpfulness hides sinister ulterior motives  there isnt any real acting in this film  christian slater utters a few lame oneliners and does a lot of mugging for the camera  tom is easily one of the most lifeless characters the actor has brought to the screen  randy quaid sneers a lot  and is totally unconvincing  morgan freeman and minnie driver both attempt to give legitimate performances  but they are defeated by the script  freeman  one of the best cinematic thespians working today  looks suitably embarrassed to be here  but i suppose everyone needs a good paycheck from timetotime  following in the wake of twister  this is yet another natural disaster movie that doesnt trust natures fury as the chief engine of conflict  as a result  we are saddled with an idiotic good guysbad guys story that effectively ruins any potential that the flood tale could have had  titanic proved that there can be a wealth of drama in a movie where everything goes under water  hard rain successfully demonstrates that the opposite is equally possible  thus far this year  hollywood has already subjected us to its unique brand of moronic mayhem by fire  firestorm  and water  hard rain   fortunately  there are only two elements left  
neg	instinct is the kind of movie that inexperienced moviegoers will undoubtedly label as  powerful  or  touching   i have a name for it myself   gross   this is the sort of film where somebody stands up to a bully  the bully looks at the  rebel  threateningly  about to hurt him  and then everyone else whom the bully has heretofore controlled stands up too  how that scene is still present in so many movies today appalls me  arent present day moviegoers beyond being  inspired  by something like that  this is one example  there are actually some more in instinct alone  of filmmakers insulting the audiences intelligence  instincts plot is brimming with potential  worldrenowned anthropologist ethan powell  anthony hopkins  disappeared for two years whilst doing research in the jungles of africa  he was found and is coming back to the united states a convicted killer  he murdered to african policemen who were allegedly trying to capture him  after committing a few more brutal acts of violence in the airport  the authorities stick him in a prisons  psychotics ward   assigned to do an evaluation on powell is a bright  or so we are told  young psychiatrist theo caulder  cuba gooding jr    caulder starts out doing the evaluation merely for the purpose of furthering his career  of course  and no mainstream filmmaker would ever have it any other way  he starts really caring for powell and he becomes fixed on helping powell prove that he is not a psychotic and that he should not be in prison  and then theres the inevitable  heartless meanie  character  in the form of donald sutherland who plays caulders mentor  he cares for caulder but does everything he can to discourage him from helping powell  lets get one thing straight  dr  theo caulder is the most blatantly incompetent psychiatrist i have ever seen  on screen or off  any good shrink will listen to what his patient has to say no matter the subject because any good shrink will learn a great deal about his patient that way  not good old theo  no  he asks purposefully pointed questions and when powell dares to venture to another subject caulder says  we need to talk about this right now   this is a flaw only in the sense that it detracts from instincts already dubious credibility  unfortunately its also the least of its problems  director jon turteltaub  who made the delightful john travolta vehicle phenomenon as well as the surprisingly abovepar cool runnings decided to make this movie so shamelessly sentimental that  contrary to what this movies promotion would have you believe  it has much more in common with patch adams than with the silence of the lambs  its not the kind of sentimentality that can almost bring tears to your eyes  what dreams may come aptly demonstrated that  but the kind that brings vomit up your esophagus  excuse the graphic depiction   it aims to  inspire  rather than to touch hearts  as yoda would say  inspire it does not  it is the ultimate sign of futility when a screenwriter  the very experienced gerald di pego  has to resort to literally telling the audience a movies story  indeed  somewhere in the beginning of instinct  one of the characters actually reads aloud the films plot to another character  this  like the instance i mentioned in the first paragraph of this review  is a horrid insult to our intelligence  i am forced to wonder whether turteltaub and di pego did not think that we could figure out what instinct is about simply from regular conversation  i think that anthony hopkins is one of the greatest screen actors  and he chews the scenery in this movie  brilliant as ever  oscar winner cuba gooding jr  on the other hand is dreadful  his performance is at least part of what makes his character seem so incapable of being a shrink  i liked the guy in jerry maguire as well as in as good as it gets but here he fails to project any shred of credibility or real feeling  i love animals  and instincts prominent save the gorillaslive in harmony with nature theme is certainly something i could sympathize with  however this movies execution is completely unacceptable  tone down the violence and this will be a chick flick   1999 eugene novikov 
neg	sydney lumet is the director whose work happens to be of varied quality  he is praised for some of the most important films of the previous decades  like twelve angry men  serpico or the verdict  but  in the same time  almost any of such pearls is followed by stinkers that hamper lumets reputation  a stranger among us  1992 ripoff of peter weirs witness  belongs to the latter category  the heroine of this movie is emily eden  melanie griffith   tough lady cop who sometimes shows too much enthusiasm in battling bad guys on the streets of new york  during one of such actions  her partner nick  jamey sheridan  got hurt and as a result  she becomes depressed  in order to help her recover  bosses give her rather easy task of locating missing jeweller who belonged to hassidic jew community  emily starts investigation and soon realises that the case involves murder  concluding that the perpetrator belongs to community  she decides to go undercover  that isnt easy  because her modern manners are colliding with traditionalist ways  things get even more complicated when she develops feelings for young cabalistic scholar ariel  eric thal   using peter weirs formula isnt the greatest flaw of this film  even the lame and unispiring crime mystery subplot works to the certain extent  but the worst insult to viewers audience is terrible miscasting of melanie griffith  the author of this review never liked this actress very much  but she was at least tolerable in some of her roles  role of emily eden  unfortunately  isnt one of them  first of all  she cant pass for tough nypd street fighter  and her attempt to pass for orthodox jewish woman isnt much better  screenplay by robert j  avrech makes things even worse with some formulaic red herring subplots  scene involving two italian gangsters was almost too painful to watch   but  on the other hand  other actors are more convincing  lee richardson as an old rabbi  thal as ariel and charming mia sara as his intended bride   and the photography by andrzej bartkowiak very effectively creates atmosphere of warmth when the scenes take place in hassidic community  also  the film might educate viewers about hassidic culture  that is the only thing that prevents it from turning into total waste of time  
neg	 the world on land  its just too big for me   starring tim roth  pruitt taylor vince  bill nunn  clarence williams iii  rated r  the legend of 1900s is the years most absurd movie  a rambling  nonsensical piece of seafaring garbage that goes nowhere fast  it stars thespian extraordinaire tim roth  looking wistful as ever  as a guy named    1900  you heard right  his name is  in all actuality  1900  he was born on an ocean liner on 111900  uh  hence the name   abandoned and adopted by danny  a ship crewman  1900 spends most of his early years hiding in the bowels of the ship because of dannys fear that he might be taken away from him because of  visa matters   well  when 1900 is about 9 or so  he starts wondering all around the ship  one day  he discovers a grand piano  he sits down and starts playing  miraculously  what comes out is beautiful  a group of onlookers gathers to watch this stunning prodigy make such amazing music at such a young age  when one of the people who knows 1900 tells him that his playing the piano like that without permission is  totally against regulations  1900 replies  f  ck the regulations   ho ho ho  1900 grows up never setting foot on dry land  when hes about 30ish and can play the piano like nobodys business  onboard comes another musician  his name is max  pruitt taylor vince  and he plays the trumpet  after 1900 catches max barfing everywhere during a storm  he sits him down on the piano next to him  takes the pianos braces off and plays while the piano flies all around the hall  taking them with it  how the chair theyre sitting on and the piano dont separate  i dont know  but this apparently isnt the kind of thing were supposed to ask  after that  1900 and max become friends  max is determined to get 1900 off the ship and discover what he is missing on land  but 1900 has no intention of doing so  whats more  he doesnt even want his music to go anywhere without him  when a record company hears about his talents  they come on board to make a record of his music  but after finding out that  gasp   theyre going to make millions of copies  he breaks the record  the conflict of the movie is that after max  unsuccessful in his endeavor to get 1900 off the ship  gets off himself  he stumbles upon a record of 1900s music in a store  the record shouldnt exist because a  1900 never stepped on dry land and b  the one record that was made on the ship was broken  ladies and gentlemen  its a mystery  the story itself is ludicrous and uninteresting and so are its elements  were supposed to be roused by a climactic    piano duel  there isnt anything in this movie with the potential to compel  1900 comes off as a whiny  brooding  extremely unlikable man  i cant recall a single word he said that was not some sort of depressing pseudo meditation on life  ditto for max  who doesnt seem to have a life outside his friendship with 1900  tim roth plays 1900 with about as much panache as a fig leaf  theres no spirit  no gusto to the character  he insists that he leads a happy life on the ship  but to us he is dead  pruitt taylor vince is a little more palatable  at least providing a moment of comic relief here and there to liven things up a bit  the highlight of the movie would have to be the eminently amusing clarence williams the iii as the arrogant  leering  king of jazz  who challenges 1900 to the aforementioned piano duel  the legend of 1900 was made by giuseppe tornatore  whose 1988 cinema paradiso is considered a masterpiece by many  this effort is utterly limp and lifeless  at once ridiculous  boring  narrowsighted and pointless  this is one movie that should be  and will be  quickly forgotten  
neg	my giant is two movies for the price of one  but neither is worth the cost of admission  even if you get in free  as lamely directed by michael lehmann  the picture tries to be a comedy by using and reusing every giant joke in the book    without goliath  david is just some punk throwing rocks    languidly paced throughout  the movie becomes increasingly lugubrious as the screenplay by david seltzer  the omen  meanders toward its sad ending  since its rarely funny or convincingly dramatic  what the filmmakers thought they were doing remains a mystery  other than a few nice visuals  theres nothing to recommend the picture  with great film comedies under his belt from when harry met sally  to the original city slickers  billy crystal has shown that hes more than the worlds best oscar host  he does  however  have a propensity for choosing hopeless material as in last years fathers day and this years my giant  one wonders if he reads the script before agreeing to go ahead with a project  surely reading the one for my giant would have shown that there was nothing there  perhaps he thought he could ad lib it into success  or maybe he wants to be a dramatic actor and thought he could do something serious with the movies somber tone  the most charitable thing that could be said about it is that it is so ineffectual that people will probably forget they saw it by the next day  this onejoke movies single idea is to place reallife basketball player gheorghe muresan  who stands seven and a half feet tall  into as many visually striking situations as possible  sammy  crystal   an agent currently without clients  is rescued after a car accident by a sweet romanian giant named max  muresan   after throwing out constant oneliners   either god is in the salvage business or big foot just took my car     sammy decides to get serious  seeing max as his meal ticket  and although he doesnt like it  hes willing to sign max up to do disgusting events like a wrestling match with a halfdozen dwarfs   the movie itself knows no bounds as it contains one of the most putrid and lengthy vomiting scenes ever   after a series of missed opportunities  the comedic part of the movie is over  and it turns into a cheap and maudlin disease movie  we learn that maxs condition is terminal  and he will soon die  to be fair  the movie does contain a few good scenes  all of which you can see in the trailers  lets hope billy gets himself a pair of reading glasses before he signs up for another movie  my giant runs too long even at just 1  37  it is rated pg for violence and profanity and would be acceptable for kids around ten and up  my son jeffrey and his friend matthew  both 9  gave the movie a single star and had nothing good to say about it  matthew pointed out that it  is not as good as it could have been or should have been    amen   he went on to comment that he did not like the way the movie changed completely in the middle  jeffrey complained particularly about how gross the movie was  
neg	talk about a movie that seemed dated before it even hit the theaters  spice world is the feature film debut of the prefabricated pop band  the spice girls  its intended as a sort of hard days night  but ends up simply hard to watch  when watching the spice girls  im reminded of an old saturday morning cartoon trick  such as from the smurfs  the snorks  or teenage mutant ninja turtles  in which identically animated creatures are differentiated into characters merely by one personality quirk and a different name  the spice girls are themselves as interchangable as pringles  and about as talented  theres ginger  geri halliwell   the brainy one  sporty  melanie chisholm   the athletic one  baby  emma bunton   the childish one  posh  victoria adams   the fashionconscious one  and scary  melanie brown   the one with a tongue pierced back so far youre almost certain the post sticks out her throat  the film itself doesnt really have a plot  it follows the girls as they travel here and there  culminating at their  first live performance  at albert hall  the action  however  seems more like a hodgepodge of mismatched ideas  the various misfires include  an alien encounter  a fiendish tabloid editor scheming to wreck the spice girls  the shooting of a spice girls documentary  a movie producer  george wendt  trying to pitch various ideas for a spice girls movie  nearly all of which  though incredibly far fetched  seem more plausible than the mess with which they ended up   a meeting with a pregnant friend  whose sole purpose seems to be to maintain the film maxim that all pregnant characters must give birth before the movie ends   a boating adventure  a bus race  clubhopping  wherein apparently no one notices the famous spice girls among the crowd    even when they start to sing   and an assorted number of musical performances  press conferences  and general allaround celebrity stuff  whew  for some reason  the film is littered with star cameos  from elton john to elvis costello  from bob hoskins to meat loaf  heck  even roger moore shows up  though he cant decide if hes parodying himself as james bond  or if hes lobbying to be the reincarnation of ernst stavro blofeld  richard e  grant has the largest secondary part  a thankless role of the bands manager  clifford  the celebrity spotting is partially amusing  and a decent way to pass the time when confronted with the rest of the film  neither amusing or spontaneous  when the spice girls are between songs they are deadly boring  their songs are alright  but they play like lifeless adaptations of the music videos  my advice to fans is  stay home and watch that video collection  or at least spin that cd a couple of more times    either option will be more enjoyable than the film  nonfans should know to stay well away from this one  
neg	this feature is like a double header  two sets of clich  s for the price of one  not only do we get the usual tired sports chestnuts  but the banal rich girlpoor boy love story is tossed in for good measure  an original moment in this loser is as rare as a chicago cubs world series appearance  the screenplay by kevin falls and john gatins  based on a story by falls  merely lobs its plotline at the audience  this is a story that needed sent down for seasoning and more coaching  summer catch centers around ryan dunne  freddie prinze jr    a cape cod youth chosen to participate in the prestigious cape cod baseball league  supposedly a showcase for the best young amateur and college players in the country  ryan is a bluecollar kind of guy  he works with his dad taking care of the lawns of cape cods rich and famous  he also  as we are informed early  his own worst enemy  he has the potential and the talent  but always seems to selfdestruct at the crucial moment  so  ryan tries to remained focused on baseball  then he meets tenley parrish  jessica biel   daughter of one of the blue bloods whose lawn he manicures  tenley  a name only a hack screenwriter could invent  is unlike her snobbish counterparts and falls for ryan  if you cant figure out where all this nonsense leads  then you need a remedial course in film viewing  as always prinze is pretty to look at  but his performance mainly consists of facial expressions  puppy dog love  heartbreak  frustration  selfloathing or determination  biel cries a lot  while bruce davison merely acts smarmy as her classconscious father  the only beacon is matthew lillards funloving billy brubaker  the teams catcher  summer catch borrows situations and stylings from other baseball movies  such as bull durham and the natural  no curve balls here  no sliders  every pitch is predictable  a blind umpire could call this movie  summer catch is strictly rookie league moviemaking  it has as much chance of making the movie hall of fame as the dodgers have of moving back to brooklyn  
neg	one of the responses those that enjoy  detroit rock city   probably kiss fans  mostly  might have upon first glance at the rating ive given the film might be something like   oh  that caseys gone and become a jaded critic on us  just what did he expect out of a dumb teenage rock n roll movie like this   im wondering the same thing  i feel like i should have had a grand time with  detroit rock city   its the sort of movie i wish i couldve had a lot of fun with  but i didnt  i just didnt  surely this film isnt trying to win any major awards  so should i have expected an oscarcaliber film  no  but i expected something  a funny joke  a clever prank  a plot development  anything  the movie never delivers  youve got to marvel at how the filmmakers managed to come up with a movie that is truly about nothing   detroit rock city  is one of those films that you walk out of after the credits have rolled and realize that you just spent 90 minutes watching a movie in which absolutely nothing happened to justify the films existence  and its not a very satisfying realization  the film is about four teenage boys  all huge kiss fans from cleveland  trying to get into a kiss concert in detroit  michigan  thats it  there is no big plot description in this review  because the movie has very little plot  the characters are hawk  edward furlong   lex  giuseppe andrews   trip  james debello   and jam  sam huntington   they have a garage band  theyre pathetic  like all garage bands  but they like kiss and they like rock n roll  so i guess that means we root for them  they have tickets  they lose them  they get more tickets  they lose those too  they come up with crazy schemes to get tickets  most of which backfire  theres not much more to it  frankly  it becomes a little less than exciting to see them try to get kiss tickets about halfway through the film  when a total of eight tickets have already graced the boys hands  only to be lost because of their sheer stupidity  oh  and jam  real name jeremiah  has a really  really annoying ultrareligious mother who ought to be reported to the child welfare agency  she doesnt want them to see kiss  if you hadnt figured that out already  its really quite disheartening to see such a fine soundtrack go to waste in a pointless movie like this  weve got plenty of kiss  along with some acdc  ramones  and thin lizzy  then again   maximum overdrive  had an awesome soundtrack  me being the big acdc fan that i am   but is probably one of the worst movies of all time   detroit rock city  doesnt quite reach that level of ineptitude  but it gets dangerously close  in fact  the music is the only thing that keeps this movie from being a complete failure in my mind  basically  the soundtrack has earned the film a full halfstar  which means all the bands involved can pat themselves on the back  except for marilyn manson  whose halfhearted cover of acdcs  highway to hell  sounds like something my neighbors cat coughed up   its also really sad to see the talents of the cast go to waste  because it s evident that theyre all trying really hard to squeeze some life out of this dead turkey of a movie  edward furlong has done far better work than this  and so has natasha lyonne  and so has lin shaye  but hey  theyve got to make a living in hollywood  people wanting to see kiss  and lots of it will probably be disappointed  considering the band appears for about five minutes and plays one song  too bad  they might have provided some energy to this mess  director adam rifkin knows he hasnt got much material to work with  so he takes a chapter from the michael bay book of directing and keeps his camera spinning  we get an endless parade of quickcuts  splitscreens  zoomouts  zoomins  and rotating cameras  all in an effort to cover up the sheer stupidity of the script  its fun for a while  but eventually it becomes disorienting  i would recommend that those who felt seasick at  the blair witch project  stay far away from  detroit rock city   because the witch has got nothing on this baby  i havent felt such an urge to reach out and hold the camera still since  armageddon   and what about that script  its written by carl j  dupr   which sounds like as madeup a name as ive ever heard  if it is  i cant say i blame the writer for distancing himself as far from this script as possible  a plotless  pointless rock n roll movie can be fun  if the jokes and gags are actually funny  the jokes in  detroit rock city  rarely are  in fact  the only time i really laughed was when a priest gets stoned on a marijuanalaced pizza  and that was just because it was so surreal  the rest of the movie just seems like they just threw a bunch of vulgar stuff up on screen and called it  comedy   there is no setup  just a succession of punchlines that dont provide for much in the way of chuckles  precisely because there was no setup  its as if they just whacked someone on the head  pointed at him and said   see  funny   look  that woman was so shocked by hearing loud kiss music that she spilled her drink  see  funny  look  that guy just got clocked by a telephone receiver  twice  see  funny  look  that kid has been vomiting for 20 minutes after drinking an inordinate amount of alcohol and is now about to perform an exotic dance for money  see  funny  a word of advice to mr  dupr   no  these things arent funny all by themselves  they must be preceded by a clever setup so the audience hasn t predicted them five minutes in advance  thats it  ive said enough about this movie  its a waste of time and money  i liked the music  but dont bother buying the soundtrack  i hear it s just modern bands doing inferior versions of the songs that are actually in the movie  you want to see this concept executed well  go rent roger cormans 1979 classic  rock n roll high school   it features another lateseventies rock band  the ramones  and a far more interesting story about a girl trying to get tickets to their show  yes  go rent that  and skip  detroit rock city   which will probably bomb  and deservedly so  
neg	has it really been two decades since walter matthau coached the bad news bears  nineteen years and two mighty ducks later  the formula is still going strong  police academy graduate steve guttenberg stars as a smalltown deputy sheriff corralled into cocoaching the schools hastily formed soccer team  his partnerincrime is the new british  exchange teacher   olivia dabo   a lively lass who has obviously seen dangerous minds and knows that the best way to gain the respect of a disinterested  outercity audience is to teach them something neat  like soccer  most of the goodnatured gags are of the fastmotion variety  such as runaway cows and outofcontrol lawnmowers  kids will laugh at the occasional belching bit  while their parents peacefully doze beside them  other than letting a supporting character named newt go unscathed  whats missing from the big green is a better integration of music and comedy  instead of a peppy pop score  which would arguably work to better effect  most of the action is set to a bombastic orchestral score that belongs somewhere else  comedy needs music  just watch any old bugs bunny short  the marx brothers knew it  mel brooks knows it  unfortunately  the current trend is to  overscore   lush strings and booming brass in every scene  at every moment  remember the simple strains of bizets  habanera  in the original bad news bears  these days  its usually a bellowing fanfare that threatens to smother every scene in its path  much like adding frosting to already frosted cake  an awfully big adventure  the reteaming of director mike newell and star hugh grant is about as far removed as you can get from the lightsome comedy of four weddings and a funeral  their second collaboration is a downbeat theatrical drama about a young intern  georgina cates  struggling to survive in postw  w  ii liverpool  hugh plays the gay director  an  extremely  unappealing character who may alienate whatever fans are left after the nonsense of nine months  bleak makeup and thick accents conspire to make this a difficult story to settle into  an awful adventure is not without  some  rewards  tho  the peter pan subtext is intriguing  as is the diverse ensemble cast that includes peter firth  alan rickman  and prunella scales  basil  devil in a blue dress  the comparisons to chinatown are easy enough  except for the fact that this film isnt nearly as gripping  writerdirector carl franklin  one false move  is the force behind this accomplishedbutstiff adaptation of walter mosleys crime novel  denzel washington is as sturdy as ever  but hes burdened with a miscast supporting cast  tom sizemore and scenestealer don cheadle are both fine  the problems start with jennifer beales  who never registers as the plots femme fatale  shes a pretty face and nothing more  also underweight are maury chaykin and terry kinney  they play opposing mayoral candidates in 1948 los angeles and neither actor commands enough authority to stifle giggles  john huston  we miss you  fine period detail and a strong sense of humor are a plus  they help to overcome a pace thats too polite for mosleys jazzy  swingin story  steal big  steal little  i cant say much about this one  director andrew davis follows the fugitive with a wildly unfunny farce about twin brothers  andy garcia  with opposing moral codes  theyre fighting over their adoptive mothers estate  a 40  000acre ranch worth millions and supporting dozens of migrant farm workers  so many different plots are trying to come togetherfeuding brothers  reconciling husbands  loanshark hired hitmenthat you have to admire the directors ambition  too bad that almost every single person or plotline is out of sync  that is  with the exception of alan arkin  hes the best thing in a movie thatdespite the work of four credited writers  still  manages to waste such diverse talents as david odgen stiers  kevin mccarthy  and joe pantolinao  and what the heck does that title mean  
neg	funny how your expectations can be defeated  and not in good ways  the ghost and the darkness promised  at least  it seemed to me to promise  a hemingwayesque showdown between men and nature  what it delivered was mystery science theater 3000level material  an inadvertently hilarious story that made me scream advice at the characters   get new jobs   was one line  if i remember correctly  at the end of the 19th century  col  patterson  val kilmer  whose irish accent comes and goes like an african zephyr  is an engineer who has been hired to build a british railway bridge across the tsavo river in uganda  he is having immensely stereotypical problems  the natives are restless  his boss is a jerk  and now two maneating lions are stalking the work camp and killing people off  patterson tries to handle the situation himself  incompetently  and then turns to charles remington  michael douglas   a hunter of world reknown  or something like that   the movie stacks the deck so heavily in favor of the lions  they should have gotten top billing and costarred with siegfried and roy  they are nighinvulnerable  as one comic book put it  and this is of course just the excuse the movie needs to have one native after another stepping forth to solmenly recite lines about the power of nature  give me a break  the movie hasnt got the wherewithal to even begin to exploit such ideas  its just trying to find convenient ways to stall us  even the lion hunts themselves are idiotic  get this  remingtons big plan is to build a large scaffoldlike structure in the middle of the savannah  sit on it  and wait for the lion to show up  he does this  and then gets knocked off by a bird  by the end of the movie  the blood vessels in my palm were all broken open from me pounding my forehead with my hand  the acting is forgettable  douglas does a good job of portraying a relatively cracked fellow  but its nothing he hasnt done before  kilmer looks like he wishes he were someone else  somewhere else  and the rest vanish into the cinematography  the camera  by the way  sometimes behaves so stupidly all by itself that most of the lion attacks are incoherent  what did i expect from this movie  i dunno  some real excitement  i suppose  a sense that there were formidable forces on both sides of this equation  no such luck  i dug out my tattered copy of hemingways  the short happy life of francis macomber  and read that to get the taste of this movie out of my mind  
neg	unfortunately it doesnt get much more formulaic than one tough cop  theres the renegade cop with the loser partner who has to many problems to explain  the renegade has to prove his good name and is trapped between the good guys  the bad guys and some woman who really has nothing to do with the story other than being there for the purpose of providing sex for the hero in the middle of the film  bo dietl  pronounced deedle  baldwin  is one tough cop  a guy who is being investigated by hardass fbi agents due to his association with the ny mafia  on top of that problem  he has a drunk  gambling addicted partner  penn  who has a penchant for collecting parking tickets  i guess cops arent immune    then  throw into the mix the femme fatale  gershon   right there you have plenty of ammo for a decent cop drama  but right in the middle of the film  they throw in a completely unrelated plot point  dietl and his partner duke try to solve a case that they have been warned to stay away from  the film spends over half an hour tracking the case of a nun who was beaten and raped to near death  once the case is solved  the film shifts focus back to the mafia issue  whatever neat mesh the screenwriter wanted to create between the two stories failed miserably  aside from being asked to accept michael mcglone as a mafioso  an insult if you ask me  the performances were pretty good  baldwin  though he occasionally slips into an impression of his brother alec  does a fine job as one tough cop  penn  who also slips into an impression of his brother sean  is even better as a loser tough guy cop  what one tough cop lacks is originality  this film offers nothing new  nothing that you cant get from any cop film  it screams sidney lumet all over the place  perhaps because it was produced by marty and michael bregman  producers of lumets dog day afternoon and serpico  but even the masterful sidney would not have been able to make one tough cop into a good film  too much else is lacking  i also saw the boom mic pop into the top of the frame twice early on in the picture  something that i almost never notice  but once i saw that  i had it in the back of my mind every time i saw a medium or long shot  at times  i was hoping to see it  one tough cop isnt laughable  nor is it a terrible film  but it just isnt unique  it is a classic example of a film that didnt need to be made  but one thing is for sure  it could really use a better title  
neg	supposedly based on a true story in which the british drive to build a rail bridge deep in africa grinds to a halt after a pair of lions start killing off the workers in 1898  john patterson  val kilmer   the bridge building expert set to oversee the operation  tried to rid his operation of the lions  but fails  a world renound hunter  remington  michael douglas   is called in and the battle  man against lion  begins  this film has a great soundtrack  and wonderful scenery  the acting is not too bad except the characters are all so thin  we only see one side of each character  kilmer is a bridge builder and thats all we see him as  these lions kill dozens of his men and he doesnt even appear to be too upset about it  and the plot  its jaws  but with lions  again were presented with an animal that behaves not at all as it should  it appears to kill men because it just likes too  why  who knows  i guess there wouldnt be much of a story if it didnt  the problem is that there isnt much of a story even though it does  
neg	of course i knew this going in  why is it that whenever a tvstar makes a movie its always a romantic comedy  and then they say on entertainment tonight or something  that they were  attracted to the characters  they were really original   original   let me give you a runthrough of picture perfect  character a  kate  jennifer aniston  from tvs friends   a smart  beautiful  professional woman wants two things she cant have  a new jobtitle and the love of her coworker kevin bacon  her boss will only give her the job if she gets married and gets a mortgage and gets a lease on a german sportscar  and kevin bacon pnly sleeps with married or involved girls  what does she do  she invents a fiance  then when everyone wants to meet him  she tells some poor schmoe she met at a wedding that she will pay him 1000 to pretend to be in love with her for a company dinner  and pick a fight with her at the end  thus breaking the engagement but still being able to keep her job  since the guy ends up looking like a jerk and she is the poor  defenceless female  he  of course  goes along with it  gee  i wonder if they get together in the end  ive seen more original stuff on the wb  and better stuff too  picture perfect also makes the mistake of being wayyyyy too long at 100 minutes  and expecting us to like anistons character  who comes off as a cold  spoiled bitch  
neg	louie is a trumpeter swan with no voice  in order to woo his lady love serina  louie makes friends with a young boy  sammy  who persuades teacher mrs  hammerbottom  carol burnett  to allow louie to attend class  louie learns to read and write and returns to his flock  but is laughed at once again when no other swans can understand his message of love for serina  to make matters worse  louies father feels hes lost his honor because of the trumpet he stole for his son in this animated version of e  b  whites  trumpet of the swan   as jane austen and henry james have become popular sources for adult filmmakers over the past decade or so  e  b  white is being returned to for childrens films  the animated  charlottes web  has become a minor classic since its release in 1973 and 1999 brought us a live action version of  stuart little    trumpet of the swan   directed by richard rich  1999s animated  the king and i   the  swan princess  series   is unlikely to be remembered along with those two   trumpet of the swan  is receiving a regional theatrical release  but is sure to quickly appear on home video  boston is one of the targetted cities because our hero louie becomes famous playing his trumpet in beantown  he encounters a gypsylike con man in the public gardens who pitches louie and his trumpet as an added attraction to bostons swan boats  louie stays at the ritz carlton before giving a concert at the hatch shell along the banks of the charles river  at this point  louies earned enough money so that dad can pay for the trumpet and become musically capable enough to win over serinas father   trumpet of the swan  features flat background art  some poor sound syncing and insipid  sugary songs  this effort would be better suited to saturday morning television than the big screen  but may be ok for the real small set  
neg	one of the most respected names in american independent filmmaking is john sayles  he has built a strong reputation with films like matewan and the secret of roan inish  and one of his best was his last film  lone star  after sayles gave us this complex and unconventional look at ethnic tensions on the usmexico border  expectation ran high for his next film  unfortunately  his men with guns is not the film anyone was hoping for  we are essentially told in the first reel where the film is going to go and what it is going to do  then the film does exactly what it promised  a painful as that is  the plot of men with guns can be summarized  in a central or south american country things are really bad for everybody in the mountains where the army clashes with the guerrillas  dr  fuentes did not believe how bad things were so he went  and he found out again and again and again   of course it is perfectly true that in many places in that region armed conflicts have turned life into a living hell  a guerrilla war is always bad for civilians  but the film talks down to the viewer  dr  fuentes  played by federico luppi  teaches medicine in the capital city of his country  he has  as a great humanitarian gesture  trained and inspired some of his best students to go into the mountains and make the world a little better for the poor indios  fuentes believe the students to be up there doing humanitarian service  then he discovers one of his best students has instead returned to the city and runs a squalid private pharmacy  in shame and disappointment fuentes asks the student what has happened to the others  the student tells him the others are still in the mountains  but suggests that it may not be a good place to be  fuentes goes off to find and visit the doctors  ignoring the advice of his family and a patient who happens to be an army general  the results are little different than one would expect  dr  fuentes starts out incredibly naive  even some american tourists  present in the film mostly for comic relief  seem to know better than dr  fuentes that things have gotten pretty bad in the mountains  but fuentes has to go from one scene of barbarity to another and discover how wrong he was  sayles certainly could have used 126 minute of screen time to tell us something more profound than that nasty things are happening down there and most of the worst happens to the unarmed civilians  the cast is mostly unknowns to american audiences  federico luppi is the good mexican actor who played the antique dealer torn by mysterious forces in cronos  damian delgado makes a late appearance as an army deserter  mandy patinkin has a small role made to look bigger in the trailer  
neg	traffic violation dr  daniels review of uturn dr  ds rating  critical condition  okay  heres the deal  ill be the first one to grant that everybody needs a day off now and then  ill even go so far as to say that a vacation is a necessary part of doing any job well  i mean  hey  ive been known to stretch a weekend into a threeday outing  if friday looks to be a slow day  and if monday aint looking like a pickmeup  well  ive been known to give martha nell a call and say   do me a favor  sweetheart  bump old man fergusons boil lancing to tuesday morning  and tell miss audrey that ill swing by her house monday evening and see if we cant get her trick knee back in line   a simple sentence like that  and ive got a nice fourday fishing trip with the boys  or more often than not  a trip up to cherokee  n  c   for jackpot bingo and assorted other mountain funnery  but the point is  if you take a day off  do something different  if youve worked yourself silly for months  relax a bit  sleep in  eat pancakes at noon  microwave an egg in its shell  watch pro wrestling with the sound off  listen to some barry white records at high speed  whatever  but do not  under any circumstances  spend your vacation doing the same thing you do for a living  and  if you do  dont make the final product look ten times worse than it would any other time  because i do not want to hear your sob stories  oliver stone  you apparently thought you needed a break from making  important films   cool  so you found this hinky little book and decided to make it a movie  thats cool  too  but  ollie  old sage  do not take a good story and a hot cast and make one of the most pointless and worthless films of the decade  im just eager to meet you one day  so i can buy you a stoli  look you in the eye and say   what in the wide world of sports were you thinking with uturn   and ill stand there staring til i get a straight answer  sean penn stars uturn  as bobby  a drifter whos had some troubles a while back  hes heading cross the desert minus two fingers when his mustang ragtop blows a radiator hose  stranding him in superior  arizona  held there by an  ignorant  inbred  turtleneck hick  of a mechanic named darrell  while darrell puts a new hose on the ride  bobby walks into town to see whats cooking  is it needless of me to say that superior  arizona  is not exactly the shiny scrubbed home of all things lovely  probably not  bobby meets up with grace  jennifer lopez   who invites him back to her place  for drapehanging and other domestic issues  just as those issues are starting up  graces husband  jake  storms in  looking like checkout day of the elks lodge convention  just beats bobby silly  bobby takes to the road  only to meet up with jake again  and jake asks bobby to kill grace  a little while later  grace asks bobby to kill jake  them murderous arizonians  gotta love em  if any of this sounds familiar  congratulations  you win a kewpie doll  the story is a straight shoplift of red rock west  a cult favorite a few years back from john dahl  maker of the phenomenal the last seduction  but the contest doesnt end there  guys and gals  we get steals from russ meyer movies  where everybody in town is horny and sweaty  we get the town from bad day at black rock  minus the train  plus busty women who can speak  look at any schwarzenegger film  and youll see our hero  bobby  as bobby has a mudhole stomped in his keister a dozen times  has his ribs stove in at least fifteen times  gets bit by a tarantula  gets shot at  and ends up with vultures circling overhead  all the while getting up like he just got a shaving nick  bobby as terminator  stretch it a bit  and we have a fivefinger discount from doc hollywood  where the whole story occurs because of car trouble  forcing the main character to stay at the mercy of the town and the mechanic  okay  hes working from a book  so maybe ollies not totally to blame for blatantly copping these ideas  i just expect a man who can make up an alternative history of the united states to be able to craft a few original ideas before exposing the negative  i just wish he hadnt brought a cast like this together for what amounts to a group toestub  sean penn gives a great performance  and jennifer lopez and nick nolte are as on target as they can be  playing overthetop caricatures of stereotype characters  the best thing about the movie is watching penn react to the madness around him and try to figure out exactly what the blanketyblank is going on  too bad its not fun to watch when its happening to us    while we sit through this mess of a film  uturn is not a bad film if youre a fan of technique  its the oliver stone youve always known  robert richardson is his usual cinematographer  and rob and ollie know how to shoot a flick  great camera angles  shifting viewpoints  wicked colors  nice looking pictures  but pictures of what  i think id rather stare at a xeroxed envelope for two hours than try to figure out the tiltowhirl point of this loser film  plot twists are one thing  repetition is almost unforgivable  and this is dang near as unforgivable as any movie ive seen in the past five years  oliver  i know your body of work is nothing to sniff at  youve been nice enough to limit us to only one doors movie  and films like platoon  jfk  wall street and nixon give us plenty to dig on  your scripts are certainly respectable  your budgets are up there on the screen  and your actors dont dog it  and i know that  maybe  with uturn  you were just kicking back  just having fun  thats fine  but dont do that with a movie with the potential of this one  do some police academy sequel  imagine that   do a big comedy  like a remake of its a mad  mad  mad  mad world  but do not drop a limp uturn out of your pocket and expect us to accept it as  an oliver stone movie   and not question why it stinks like weekold snook  theres a right way to have fun  and a wrong way to have fun  this was as wrong as you can get without going to jail  
neg	there are two things the american film industry should avoid at all costs  one is letting an ambitious actor convert one of his or her favorite novels into a feature film  two is never greenlight a scifi film starring john travolta  to wit  we present the disaster that is battlefield earth  a sciencefiction opus starring the barbarino of the actors guild  battlefield earth should be shown only at maximumsecurity prisons when a prisoner is tossed in solitary for bad behavior  scifi is always a tricky beast  tight script  a good director  an ensemble cast of decent actors  and the ability to suspend even the most difficult of disbeliefs  battlefield earth fails at achieving even one of these attributes  heres the plot   the year is 3000  mankind has been become an endangered species thanks to the conquest of a race of aliens called the psychlos  sounds like either the latest clown act from cirque de soleil or a white rap group   a small band of humans dwell in radioactive caves located in the rockies in fear of the demons who dwell in the cities below  the psychlos are stripmining the earth for its resources and terel  played by travolta  is the head of security for the miningslave base located in denver  a young rogue named jonnie goodboy tyler  played with dramatic flair by barry pepper  ventures from the safety of the caves into the city to uncover the truth about the demons   he is promptly captured and taken to the alien base  after several attempts at escape  johnnie is placed in the middle of an underhanded subplot of terels  involving circumventing gold from an exposed vein in the rockies to his own end  jonnie  assumed leader of the mining slave group  then manages to attain all psychlo and human intelligence through a learning machine terel forces him to use  then the story just runs along until jonnie teaches the rest of the humans the basics of trigonometry  the bill of rights  how to use a machine gun  and how to fly a harrier jet  the whole mess concludes with a big  loud  obnoxious gunandplane battle that had me praying for the end credits  roger christian  the director of this lumbering beast  must have rented dune  blade runner  planet of the apes  independence day  stargate  beastmaster  the airwolf episodes  the v miniseries  the matrix  and the omega man    and decided to steal every scene he could for battlefield earth  christian even shoots every scene in a weird dutch angle titled left or right for every frame of the movie  and every scene in the movie ends with a middle wipe  really  the psychlos reminded me of a cross between jamaican basketball players with bad teeth and bloated hands and klingon extras working the star trek convention circuit  travoltas acting hasnt been this bad since the experts or maybe perfect  jonnie goodboy tyler evolves into william wallace with lines like you can have your freedom if you fight   then theres the script  the film just never convinces you that the plight of jonnie in teaching his fellow humans to fight and take back the planet would be a difficult task to achieve  why  because terel provides all the necessary tools to incite a revolt  for no particular reason beside the fact that humans are stupid   terel may be right  you know  humans made this movie  
neg	would you believe  in real life  i mean  that if you were julia roberts  that youd be the ugly underdog to your sister  the creepy catherine zetajones  let me tell you what reality is  reality is that you are megastar julia fricking roberts and your brother is eric roberts  and he picks up whatever crumbs of stardom fall off your coattails as you blaze across the sky in a golden chariot  thats reality  americas sweethearts is the opposite of reality  a train wreck that tries to sell julia as a scruffy alsoran  presumably because she wears hornrimmed glasses and used to be overweight  uhhuh   the plot follows two married  megamovie stars  gwen and eddie  zetajones and poor  poor john cusack  whose material gets worse every year   on the eve of their new star vehicles release  a film called time over time  the only problem  gwen and eddie have gone through a nasty separation  and the press and public have not been forgiving  think meg and dennis   gosh  and the director has vanished with the film  holding the only print hostage  veteran pr agent lee  billy crystal  is called upon to clean up the mess  throwing a press junket in the nevada desert to woo them with the story of a possible reconciliation between the gwen and eddie  presumably distracting the stupid  stupid film critics into forgetting they havent seen the movie at all   note to sony  any studio executive that thinks this plot is going to win points with the reviewing press needs to check into rehab   and did i mention gwens sister kiki  roberts  is along for the ride  and that she and eddie just might fall in love along the way  oh billy  youre a scamp  the script youve cowritten with peter tolan  what planet are you from  and bedazzled  need i say more   is a roast of hollywood and celebrity  sure  but its not a funny one  yes  crystal tells us  hollywood is lying to our faces  if you are surprised by this  you might want to check on your subscription to people magazine  its about to expire  aside from a scant few zingers  yeah  se  or winces rules    americas sweethearts jokes arent funny  its pace is choppy  and the whole affair comes off as a vanity project  not for headlining star julia roberts  but for billy crystal to deliver a bunch of lame punch lines that he wrote himself  i didnt time it  the movies not that bad   but its crystal who really has the most screen time and is the unequivocal focus of the film  bad move  billy  your jokes suck  the crotch humor is outpaced only by the meanness of the movies gags  and with unsubtle sexual innuendo dripping from every scene  how this movie earned a pg13 rating is a mystery to me  julia overcame a lot of spiteful writing and acting to make my best friends wedding into a winning film  but not even that 90tooth smile can save her here  obviously aware of the ugliness before him  director joe roth turns to goofy supporting characters like hank azaria  as a lisping spaniard   christopher walken  the insane time over time director   and alan arkin  a new age guru in a fright wig  to crack wise  none of the stereotypes is successful except for walken  azaria comes off as a preening queen when hes supposed to be macho  as for roth  in case you dont know  went from direcing revenge of the nerds ii to launching his own movie studio  revolution  which produced this work  hes back behind the camera for the first time in 11 years  itll probably be another 11 before hes back again  i could drone on about how americas sweethearts will only appeal to the mouthbreathing morons who talk on their cell phones during the movies  but that would get old  instead  ill settle for discussing the movies worst sin  that sweethearts is painfully contrived and wholly unbelievable  not just in its plot but in its sentiment  every single character in this film  with the arguable exception of kiki  is simply hateful  and putting them in a romantic comedy is a waste of a bunch of villains  when you leave the theater  youll ask yourself  too  why would i want any of these jerks to be happy  
neg	rated  r for strong violence  language  drug use  nudity  and some sexuality  starring  wesley snipes  anne archer  michael chaykin  donald sutherland  marie matiko  running time  117 minutes directed by  christian duguay ive never fully understood wesley snipess career  he has his ups and downs  but mostly the downs  his best movie was one of the best of 1998 and that movie was entitled  blade   he has had his typical action movies   boiling point    passenger 57   but his new movie  the art of war  should just be called  rising sun 2  the art of war  cause basically its a semiremake of the same plot  with a different cast  and forced to be a ridiculously unbelievable thriller  that is high on style and low on substance  wesley snipes plays a james bondish type secret agent working for the u  n  after a chinese ambassador is killed  he is on the track of the killer  trying to find out who it is  how it happened  where the killer was  and what to do  anne archer plays his  boss  type person of the u  n  and she has hired snipes to track down the killer  well snipes is mistakenly framed as the killer  and is now an outlaw  kidnapping a chinese woman with him  and having her help him along the way  all this leads to a finale that is so dumb  and so stupid that is it unbelievably dumb  and the stunts  dialogue and acting all ruin this movie  wesley snipes isnt one of my favorite actors because of the fact that the character he plays in every movie is the same character he plays in the movie before  the only good role snipes has really had was in 1998s  blade   i walked into  the art of war  expecting a good  high octane thriller  and all i got was a pile of mush  the only real good thing the movie has is action  and plenty of it  but i noticed it is badly filmed  the camera is so shaky you cannot even tell what is going on  the ending finale is so worthless and pitiful  that it even tries to mock  the matrix   laughably funny  it is undeniably stupid  christian duguays direction is also not that great  his camera angles and sense of style are all in place  but sadly his lighting and editing are all badly done  even the whole  matrix  ending wasnt even good  the stunts and action are badly filmed  and badly choreographed  his placing of the characters  and the assination of the chinese ambassador  and the plotting of the movie are so predictable and laughable  that it just takes all the fun out of the entire movie  anne archer who is usually good in her roles  turns in a horrible job here  she is sour  downbeat  and dreadfully dull with her forced dialogue  and dumb moves  even donald sutherland as a costar cant save this movie from being a bust  so for an overall opinion   the art of war  is a total waste of time  its not entertaining  nor exciting  or even action packed  it is a pointless movie  and makes absolutely no sense at all  if you really want to see a good version of  the art of war   rent the wesley snipes and sean connery action vehicle of the same kind  rising sun   it isnt a great film either  but at least its better than this  
neg	movie reviewers have an obligation to see the good  the bad  and the despicable  i originally wrote this review for my college newspaper back in 95  but i wanted to rewrite it because not all retro reviews should be about the classics  we need to be warned about some truly awful films  too  this picture was so bad  it inspired the description for my 110 rating  see ratings chart below   the only thing saving it from a 010 rating is that being able to rent a movie like this is slightly less embarassing than renting a porno  so  it does indeed have some plusses    in fairness  elizabeth berkley is certainly worth seeing in the buff  and her ability to whine and irritate us  even while nude  was appropriate in her role as selfish temptress nomi malone  this character is not smart  not interesting  and  deliberately   far too annoying far too often  like in 1998s  bulworth   when the movie was over i didnt care one little iota about the main character  at least warren beatty tried to make a statement with his dreary and overrated film  though   showgirls  is too stupid to make a statement  some people claim that the story is based on the legendary  all about eve  of all things  if exploitation expert joe eszterhas was half the screenwriter that joseph l  mankiewicz was  hed be    well  hed be a good screenwriter  instead  this project may have sunk his career  he wrote the  ha ha   script and the usually reliable paul verhoeven directed  the same team who created a good sexfilm in 1992   basic instinct   struck out here with their occasional violence  gratuitous xrated sex scenes  and numerous  and quite unnecessary  lesbian overtones  the predictable storyline revolves around nomi streaking into las vegas to make it big as a dancer  after the supposed streetsmart young  lady  gets conned out of her suitcase by a slackjawed yokel in the opening sequence  she befriends a tailor of the glamorous stage production at the  stardust hotel   nomi doesnt take advantage of this contact to break into the bigtime of dirty dancing right away  first  she becomes a lap dancer at a scummy strip club  she sells her hot little wares at  the cheetah  for a short time  turning on the fictitious customers and the actual theatre audience  hey  i never said she wasnt a hot number    maybe its that  her body  which gets her into the bigtime when the star of the  stardust hotel   crystal connors  gina gershon  stops into the strip club  it certainly isnt her brains or pleasant disposition    crystal requests a private lap dance for her boyfriend  kyle maclachlan   he also happens to be the pleasureseeking worm who runs the big show  crystal gets nomi onto the  stardust  team and  after an interminable amount of time  nomi  earns  the role of crystals understudy  the slut then deliberately injures and hospitalizes crystal  it was almost laughable that nomi had the guts to claim that shes  not a whore   thats a phrase we hear a few different times and its completely ludicrous  of course she is  she sells her soul to make it big  but in the end were supposed to believe that shes a better person than that  were supposed to root for her  no way  shes a tramp and a backstabber who deserved nothingleast of all vindication in the    ahem    climax  she is not a good person and they take over two hours to explain that the audience should think that she is  the subplot with a male dancer  glenn plummer  who claims to see talent in nomi is just a gratuitous opportunity to let her dance naked a little bit more  it sure aint character development  plummer also appeared in  speed  in 94 in a smaller  yet better role  this subplot goes absolutely nowhere except maybe to deliver an unsubtle hint that fornicators should practice birth control  kyle maclachlan must have been promised a big payday or his standards have dipped since appearing in  blue velvet   that picture was weird  but some critics claim its one of the best movies of the 80s  now ol kyle can say that he acted in one of the worst of the 90s  too  his sleazy character is important to  showgirls   but we dont learn anything about him  he uses people to get what he wants  but that only means that he fits in well with the other characters in this movie  is he a villain  who cares  ultimately  this movie is as tiresome as it is explicit  everyone must know by now about the softcore acts of copulation  especially the riotous romp between berkley and maclachlan in his pool  what few reviewers take issue with is how meanspirited this movie is  everyones either having sex  exacting revenge  or wishing they were having sex or exacting revenge  its just too hard to take  especially for over two hours   if we must be exposed to the evils of the vegas world  why couldnt verhoeven have also made a point of highlighting the whispers  grunts  and other sounds during the dance numbers  its hard to care about these people if we cant even appreciate what theyre capable of doing onstage  berkley may have a future in hollywood because she can dance and she has a great body  after all  the world of porn is still an active  dishonourable profession  perhaps berkley could join their ranks and leave the real acting to pauly shore and cindy crawford  oops  theyre bad actors  too  well  at least  theyre not selfish and contemptable like good ol slutty nomi malone  useless triviaironically  elizabeth berkley played virtuous and  holier than thou  jessie on the teenybopper tv show   saved by the bell   before breaking onto the big screen  
neg	mr  nice guy is the latest jackie chan film  so you should know what to expect  a weak plot  terrible dialogue  very little acting ability  but some jawdropping action sequences that nearly make the rest of it worthwhile  however  mr  nice guy lacks the sparkle of jackies best efforts  and its weaknesses are more glaring than ever  jackie chan plays  who else  jackie  this time out  hes a famous chef who hosts an australian cooking show  not that it ever makes a difference in the plot  there are only two scenes of him cooking  for the rest of the film  somehow he mutates into jackie chan  supercop  it never does explain why his character has such superb martial arts skills    perhaps he was in the same cooking class as steven seagal in under siege  a tv newswoman  diana  gabrielle fitzpatrick   covertly tapes a drug deal involving kingpin giancarlo  richard norton  and a local gang of toughs  the demons  although she only has one camcorder  somehow the result is full of closeups and multiple angles    hmmm  shades of broadcast news    anyway  the goons discover diana  and will do anything to recover the tape  here lies another crucial flaw in the story  doesnt anyone realize you can copy a tape  oh well  no one ever said jackie chan movies had to make sense  as luck would have it  diana runs across jackie  and  wouldnt you know it  jackie accidentally ends up with the tape  this leads to countless chase andor fight scenes which look like they could have been lifted from rumble in the bronx or nearly any other jackie chan movie  in a move apparently designed to woo american  and other englishspeaking  audiences  the film uses english as its primary language  however  that doesnt mean an end to the atrocious dubbing that has afflicted jackies recent americanized releases  strangely  many of the characters speaking english are overdubbed with english  and poorly too  whether this is just a very bad case of looping  an effort to minimize accents  or a simple case of nostalgia  it does achieve the same level of distraction present in all of jackies dubbed films  the plot in mr  nice guy is negligible  merely an excuse to have jackie on the run from various goons  but even though plots have always been second to the action in jackies films  it seems odd that the filmmakers have stuck us with this tired retread  look  if you have jackie chan playing a chef  why not use that to your advantage  watching jackie doing his stuff in a kitchen  beating the bad guys with foodstuffs sounds like the perfect setup for innumerable comic stunts  the action is a mixed bag here  theres really only one no holds barred fight scenes that have become the trademark of jackies films  it takes place in the arbitrary location of a construction site  apparently for the sole reason that there are lots of nifty things lying around that can be useful ala jackie chan  the action in the film is neither jackies best nor worst  but you long for some more inspiration in the scenes  the films gratuitous use of slow motion is distracting  once or twice  it may be useful to highlight a spectacular stunt sequence  but to slomo jackie running  either this is a nod to the sixmillion dollar man  or a pathetic attempt to disguise the fact that jackie may be slowing down  if youve seen all of jackies films and are in need of another fix  go ahead and see mr  nice guy  however  if youre just in the mood for some good action  youd be better off hitting the video store for some of his better work  such as supercop  
neg	 first rule of fight club is  dont talk about fight club   this quote deals directly with my opinion of this film  because quite frankly  its not even worth mentioning  director david fincher  seven  has completely gone over the edge  with crude humor  an intolerable script and 2 hours and 19 minutes of pure torture  im surprised i didnt walk out  this just goes to show that hype kills  its very rare that a film so hyped up as  fight club  turns out to be noteworthy  and this is no exception  the story goes like this  edward norton is an insomniac trying to enlighten his dull life by going to a variety of disease therapy sessions  until he meets marla  helena bonham carter   norton claims that she is wrecking his pleasurable lifestyle  when he spots her at a session that he also attended  apparently the disease sessions help them see what life is like  literally living in pain  why any person would think of such a thing is beyond me  but things do get worse  norton is soon assigned to a job that calls for traveling  and its on a plane that he meets tyler durden  brad pitt   the two men develop a bond  and go out to a bar  and by golly after they get drunk  the two pitiful characters fight  how do they come up with this stuff  anyway  their fighting catches other pathetic losers attention  and a club is formed  out of all this mess  there manages to lie a message  fincher shows us that society is like robots  we work in our jobs doing things step by step  and want out  our insanity gets to our brain and makes things worse than they really are  and we blame it on others  call me crazy  but this is common knowledge  i think fincher was acting as if the film is moodier and more poignant than it really is  which is probably one of the reasons it fails miserably  even with two good actors  and a solid actress  they only manage to weaken the story  i couldnt help but hide my face in shame when norton beats himself up into a bloody pulp  it just shows how desperate the script is for attention  i guess brad pitt was right for this role  because i felt like beating him up myself  his bothersome and depressing character  made me disgusted at his 20 million fee  it only showed me that he was in it for the money and nothing more  helena bonham carter however really had no purpose  she just popped up on screen  mumbled some lines  smoked and left  this continues for what seems like 6 hours  the film drags on and my headache gets bigger  while  fight club  nears what i think might be the end  unfortunately by then  the film hits rock bottom  though the conclusion kept my interest for a mere 5 minutes  it backs down again and continues to move at a snails pace  on a side note  the trailer shows the only redeeming elements of the film  that coincidentally lasts the same amount of time that they did on the trailer  fincher will hopefully regret making this film or at least learn a lesson  concentrating on the atmosphere or a particular key moment  wont do any good if everything else is in need of support  also  im afraid that immature men might respond to the films violence  the last thing the world needs is people praising a leader of a pointless cult  when the film ends  im just glad to get home and take some advil  youll either enjoy what the film has to offer  or agree with ed norton when he says  this is so f    ing stupid   
neg	note to screenwriters and self  when you hit the big time  and the studios come knocking for those scripts that are sitting in your bottom drawer  tell  em all to hit the road  gilligan wrote the arbitrarilytitled home fries ten years ago  it was shelved until he found success as one of  the took a second look at gilligans  comedy   they read it again wearing rosetinted glasses  drew stars as sally  a dim  but sweet   pregnant waitress at a small town burger joint located somewhere in the southern united states  the father of her child is dead  the victim of a severe heart attack brought on by sadistic torture from his two stepsons  these flyboys scared him with their lowflying helicopter  dorian  wilson  and angus  busey  were getting even for his philandering ways on behalf of their anguished mother  ohara   trouble is  sally picked up some interference on her drivethru headset  and angus worries she may have heard conversations that took place in the helicopter prior to the accidental killing  so dorian goes undercover as a burgerflipper  before you can say  with cheese  he falls for the mothertobe  too bad mom and angus have homicidal plans for sally  does this sound like a movie you want to see  without a doubt  the best thing about home fries is barrymore  at the risk of sounding sexist  shes never looked better than here  as a curly redhead with twinkling eyes  she is winning in a role that requires her to do absolutely nothing except look applecheek cute and gawk at wilson  her reallife boyfriend  but the plot and the situations are so offputting that nothing could save it  this movie desperately wants to get mentioned in the same breath as the coen brothers  but home fries brand of laboured hipness would be foreign to geniuses like ethan and joel  its raising arizona without babies  without charm  without laughs  without human characters  and without intelligence  worst of all  its creepy  whats funny about threatening to gun down a pregnant woman with a machine gun   unless the woman in question is a spice girl   take out the helicopters  the quasiincestuous relationship between the mother and her sons  it is absolutely illogical  within the movies framework  that dorian still lives with his mother and brother   and the scenes of murder  attempted and otherwise   and what are you left with  the story of a single woman with child who works at a fast food joint  but dreams of becoming a country singer   that could turn out to be the most boring movie ever made  but itd be better than home fries  
neg	the recent onslaught of film noir that has popped up in multiplexes  with everything ranging from  l  a  confidential  to  palmetto  to  the big lebowski   has proved to be an artistic commodity for veteran  talented directors  with this particular genre  directors are able to collate the sleazy underworld of the lowerclass and the glamorous  opulent upperclass  while maintaining the noirish  ambiguous ambience  the staple of film noir   wild things  could be classified as a black comedy  a sultry film noir or a plain ol erotic thriller  but the one category it doesnt qualify for is that of a quality motion picture  overacted  overwrought and overlong   wild things  is a confused mess  a movie that wants to have its cake and eat it too  with its incalculable twists  turns  more twists and more turns  it soon becomes a tedious exercise in pointlessness  in spite of game efforts by kevin bacon and matt dillon  who manage to sustain straight faces throughout the ordeal   wild things  not once jells in its eroticism  unpredictability  character motivation  sense of the world  plot  etc  theres not one redeeming quality in the picture that is not technical  directed by john mcnaughton   henry  portrait of a serial killer     wild things  follows sam lombardo  matt dillon   a hunkish  suburban florida high school teacher whos the dream of every spruced up female in the community  particularly one  kelly van ryan  denise richards  adores him to such extent that she offers to wash his jeep with a partner  soon  her tiny shorts are soaked and tells the other girl to take a hike  enabling her to come into his house  next thing  she cries rape  and the socalled  rollercoaster ride  ensues  a second accuser comes front  suzie toller  neve campbell   a boozedrinkin  tattooed piece of trailer trash that charges lombardo of sexually molesting her  virtually guaranteeing a trial where preposterous confessions  asinine occurrences and laughable courtroom procedures are bound to happen  even bill murray gets into the act as lombardos zany lawyer  he wears a fake neck brace  waves the finger at the other client and infuses the script with some billy murray  you can tell mcnaughton knew he had nothing to lose assigning murray to this role  as ridiculous as it sounds  hes the most sane character in the movie  the community is astonished  reporters flee to the scene  theres an 8  5million settlement for a libel suit against kellys mother  theresa russell   theres the ambiguous cop  kevin bacon  who also executive produced  who sniffs something iffy in this concoction of deceit  murder and lust  we  the audience  sniff something not so lustful  like so many thrillers these days  including  the usual suspects  and  the game    wild things  eschews character for plot  mcnaughton knows how to handle the camera  and he keeps the campy fillings of the script flowing with workmanlike ease  as if he knows the territory hes covering is a harmless appetizer to accompany  henry   a furious  unsettling film directorial tour deforce  george clintons score is a delight to behold  but its the humans  the characters are mere devices for the  nasty  twists  what writer stephen peters does not grasp is this becomes tediously uninvolving  almost unbearable  if those who inhibit this twisted world are not interesting  dont feel real or we dont care for them  not even the unintentionally funny moments work  the people in  wild things  are not so much people as they are caricatures  then theres the erotic content  which nearly earned the film an nc17  for a sexless  badly edited  poorly lit menageatrois  and in what has to be one of the most flabbergastingly inept scenes that has graced this country  kevin bacons member makes a cameo appearance with ten minutes to go  ironically  the wildest elements of  wild things  are not wild at all  
neg	it rocksactually  lots of rocks fly at us or from us  in slow or fast motion  at several points in the film  they seem like dangerous rocks because they kind of twirl through the air instead of just propelling forward  and when they landonce in a while  when we need a break from the space sequencesthey cause damage enough to destroy the chrysler building and the like   nary a mention of these apocalyptic events is made after they occur   they also just might be the most interesting element of armageddon  a steroid users answer to deep impact  bruce willis stars as harry stamper  a famed oildriller commissioned by the white house and nasa to stop a giant asteroid before it travels beyond  zero barrier  and destroys our planet  why an oil driller  they require someone experience with deepcore mining to plant a nuclear missile into said asteroid   in one unintentionally    hilarious sequence  nasa asks harry to inspect a deepcore driller they built based on his blueprints  it is poorly constructedharry criticizes almost every aspect of it  we trust nasa to build space shuttles   harry assembles the obligatory  ragtag  bunch of  cowboys   including a blond guy  a fat guy  a black guy  a wiseass  and the man who is sleeping with his daughter  affleck   once they reach space  we experience sequence after sequence of something going wrongperhaps the fact that they sent a bunch of nincompoops into outer space has something to do with it  i cannot count the number of times they almost fail the mission on all my fingers and toes  whether or not they save the day  i will not reveal  nor will you care  i will say this  you know youre in trouble when deep impact dwarfs your asteroid movie in terms of emotion and scope  willis has barely a chance to come alive  ditto for affleck  their big scenes are mostly reserved for the third act  in a last minuteand futileattempt to inject warmth into the material  steve buscemis characterthe wiseassis exceptionally problematic   rockhound   as hes called  is sarcastic and foolish  so they tape him to a chair  where he spends most of the film  so why did they bring him up there to begin with  rather  why write him into the film  give his almostwitty oneliners to serious willis  who scowls and mopes and demonstrates psychotic tendencies  at one point he chases after affleck with his shotgun for screwing his daughter  firing often and causing significant damage to his oil rig  im guessing he qualifies under nasa guidelines as someone unfit for space travel  at least in my world where the sky is blue  liv tyler is pretty and humourless  as always  suspiciously  four of her fathers bands   aerosmith   songs grace the soundtrack  director michael bay lays the visual and sound effects on thick  like ketchup  eventually drowning the movie onscreen   the middle hour is a nonsensical  pyrotechnic assault on the average primates brain   whenever someone dies in this movie  a crew member inevitably yells out  we lost  insert dead persons last name here    i must admit that not once could i distinguish a dead oilguycumastronaut from a live one  and closeups of the corpses faces beneath cracked helmets provided little assistance  as their skin was often covered in fake blood  armageddon is not as terrible movie as godzilla  it looks nicer  and has fewer plotholes within its equally ludicrous framework  it has a vivid soundmix  but at almost twoandahalf hours  i could not believe how little actually happened over the course of the story  the love story has been played up in the ads  perhaps hoping to catch people before they recover from titanicfever  bollocks  the lovers in the film are miles apart throughouterase all thoughts of nude sketching or carsex and replace them with obligatory shots of liv tyler tearing up while ben affleck dicks around in a mooncrawler  remember a little film called jaws  in this film  three independentminded men suddenly found themselves on a fishing boat in pursuit of a deadly shark  they didnt much like each other at first  eventually  they started to respect one another  one of jaws great scenes involved the wouldbeahabs drinking and singing songs and telling stories  this is the sort of malebonding foreign to bay or his producer  jerry bruckheimer  who throw too many characters into the mix and expect well care about them on the grounds that the world is about to end  not once do we get the feeling that these characters are even acquaintancesid be surprised if these actors bothered to introduce themselves to one another before  action  was called  a male friend who loved the film suggested to me that perhaps i cannot relate to a bunch of men who dont bare their souls  who believe in dying macho concepts like heroism and a kind of chestbeating bravery  to this  i will respond that the boys in armageddon are neither heroic  nor brave  nor smart  even  this team couldnt build a birdhouse  and if i get no respect for disliking a movie with all the synthetic feeling of a trailera trailer for a movie written by a team of bodybuilders and greeting card authorsive never been a prouder wimp my whole life  
neg	theres a 1  000foot tidal wave at the end of deep impact  id say it pretty accurately represents the towering flood of the last two years worth of disaster movies  which are getting more irwin allen esque with every release  the early wave of this revival  while just as cheesy and laughable  at least knew to include thrills every five to ten minutes  deep impact tries to disguise itself as a human drama  with endless filler comprised of disaster prevention plans the country keeps taking  the repeating cycle is as follows  the president  morgan freeman  will go on tv and tell the country that theres a remote chance a comet will strike the earth  but that the nations crack scientists and astronauts have some brilliant plan to stop the problem  then we get to see the plan in action  in some sequence utterly lacking suspense  the mission will barely fail  and freeman will tell the country that the comet is still headed toward earth  and theres a remote chance it will strike  but that the nations crack scientists and astronauts have some brilliant plan to stop the problem  it goes on and on throughout the movie  but every time freeman goes on tv  we know his plan is going to fail  how do we know this  because weve seen the tv ads for deep impact  ads that feature freeman telling the nation that  the comet is still headed right for us  and show disaster shots of the comet striking earth and the giant tidal wave spreading  ladies and gentlemen  that is the movie  successful disaster movies have the main disaster toward the beginning and more little disasters that follow  but deep impact saves its one disaster for the end and discloses all in its 30second tv spots  television is whats wrong with deep impact  the main character  played by tea leoni  is a lowlevel broadcast journalist for msnbc  and thats the mere tip of the productplacement iceberg  who stumbles upon a huge government conspiracy  she thinks its an instance of an exsecretary of something or other  james cromwell  resigning because of a mistress  and that maybe he took the fall for the president in the same area  when she goes nosing around cromwell  he begs her to keep it under wraps   i know youre just a reporter  but you used to be a human being   she figures out whats really going on after getting roughed up by some fbi men and doing an internet search  where all good journalists learn the difference between a mistress and an extinction level comet  upon a topsecret meeting with president freeman  leoni agrees to keep the story under wraps until the president can hold a press conference  at which she gets to ask the first question  and everyone knows  if you get to ask the first question  baby youre a star  leoni ends up in the anchor chair  broadcasting every step of the comets collision course with earth  and im sure its comforting for her to know that  even though the worlds ending in a matter of months  shes a cable news personality  so there she is  narrating the sixastronaut mission to blow the comet up  such personalities as robert duvall  jon favreau and blair underwood cash their paychecks and go through the motions of this draggedout process  but as anyone whos seen the commercials knows  the astronauts fail  they only end up breaking the comet into two pieces  which means even more destruction to the earth  yeah  thanks  nasa  thats when freeman has to come on tv for the last time and say goodbye to all the people who arent picked to live in the missouri cave site for two years  they even have animals  two by two  ready to climb into the cave  if the focus had been on people living inside these caves after the world had been destroyed  deep impact could have been a far more interesting movie  instead we watch as a lovestruck elijah wood defies all odds to chase down his young wife  while people pack the highways out of town  the reasoning is  of course  that if a comet is going to strike  they might as well be out in some scenic rural location  and  amusingly  the highway is spotted with people in uhaul trucks  im sure its comforting to know that  even though the worlds ending in a matter of minutes  the uhaul people are doing the most business of their lives  
neg	 there will be another   the ads for this sequel proclaimed  and why not  true  brandon lee is dead  but there would be no reason for him to appear in a followup to 1994s the crow  anyway  the idea of spinning artist james obarrs original comic book series into a sequel franchise revolves around the notion that a different startled soul would come back from the dead in each movie  taking its own righteous vengeance against the world  given that basic framework  the story could move in any number of directions  of course  it doesnt  stubbornly  the crow  city of angels backtracks to the beginning of the previous film  when lees eric draven found himself drawn back out of his grave to do a charles bronson on the thugs who tortured him and his girlfriend to death  i remember the first film primarily as a harrowing exercise in brutality  in flashback  we see the most excruciating crimes exacted on eric and his lover  and then we watch in realtime as eric pays each perpetrator back in kind  its loud and repetitive  true  a sadists delight  but its also horrifying and fascinating  city of angels gives us more of the same  but less skillfully  theres an audience guaranteed for a film like this  although bad reviews and poor wordofmouth will likely ensure that it wont be much of a success  in fact  miramax subsidiary dimension films was so fearful of the critical reaction to this picture that reviewers were shut out of advance screenings   ive never understood the reasoning behind this tactic  since good notices have never been key to the success of movies like the crow   so much for any confidence in the worthiness of their followup  this time  ashe  frenchaccented actor vincent perez  is retrieved from his watery death  he and his young son were shackled together  shot  and then thrown off a pier  by the crow who serves as his link between the worlds of the living and the dead  perez might have some screen presence if hes given something to do with himself  but here hes simply thrown in front of the camera as a pretty face  at first  hes shivery and frightened  but he quickly recovers from the shock of his own death and becomes a badass biker from beyond the grave  hes befriended by sarah  mia kirshner   presumably an older version of the child who narrated the first film  kirshner  so beguiling in exotica  is here an exquisitely photographed blank  tattooed with angels wings  sarah is just about as lovely as women come  but she serves no purpose  not even as seductress  the gang of punks who killed ashe are ostensibly commanded by judah  richard brooks   but a far more interesting choice as leader would have been iggy pop  who plays a gaunt fellow named curve  iggy  all bones  veins  and drawl  is the only one who seems to have shared in the aesthetic of ruin that defines this film  like all good things here  hes dispatched too soon and without much imagination  in the meantime  were subjected to tedious glimpses of judahs compound  where bondage is the order of the day and hot wax is poured over naked bodies in sm fantasies that would seem shy of the cutting edge even if they werent distinctly secondhand  even the soundtrack is tired  more than anything ive seen from hollywood lately  city of angels smacks baldly of product  its a movie with a lousy script but a great look  critics have been quick to fault the direction of mtv veteran tim pope  but his work isnt that bad per se  hes got a good eye  and some intriguing visual ideas  if anything  this movie has a few too many scenes of ridiculously striking imagery  his major stylistic failing is that he cant seem to direct an action scene  and the quick  nonsensical cutting that ensues is reminiscent of a low budget kung fu movie  but as director  he must also shoulder the blame for the little screenplay that wasnt  the performers who couldnt  and an apparent lack of ideas on the parts of everyone involved  who bought david s  goyers anemic script  anyway  the producers of this crow were either too dim to realize their story was doomed to be a hollow rehash  or too cynical to figure their audience would know the difference  
neg	late in down to you  the lead female character  julia stiles  states her greatest fear is having an  artificial conversation  with her boyfriend  freddie prinze jr    the irony of this statement will not be lost on audience members who have not yet walked out  fallen asleep  or otherwise given up on this pathetic attempt at romantic comedy  the film is a multimillion dollar testament to everything artificial  filled with characters  motivation  plot and dialogue that ring fake and shallow at every step this is an unquestionable disaster  prinze plays a college student intent on playing the field until he falls for stiles freshman coed  at first the movie seems to be an attempt to string along scenes with the sole purpose of outdoing the previous in how  cute  it can be  the happy couple  psychoanalyze  each other  they pick out a song because  as prinzes dj mother  lucie arnez  explains  every couple needs a song  he smells her shampoo  she scratches his chest in the morning to let him know she wants to make love  then  in standard romantic comedy style  things fall apart  why  well  because they have to  otherwise the couple cant make up and live  presumably  happily ever after  down to you exists outside the realm of normal logic  scenes do not connect to each other and it often seems to be attempting some sort of surrealism  but this is handled so poorly that everything comes off random and stupid instead  a picnic scene involving the six key characters is just bizarre  not only for the stretched logic of these people hanging out together  or even knowing each other  but mostly because an unusual amount of screen time is dedicated to a goat  the supporting characters are remarkably flat  and insultingly ridiculous as well  stiles best friend  rosario dawson  is a pot head  prinzes roommate  shawn hatosy  is a girl crazy fool who cant meet women  and then there are the porn stars  zak orth and selma blair   he is one of those famous porn stars who is frequently interviewed on television  does the college lecture circuit  and stars in high budget costume epic porns that are shot on film  you know  the average porn star  the costume epic idea gives him a reason to appear in a different ridiculous outfit everytime hes on screen  the porn angle exists just so there can be a couple of stupid sex jokes  she is a porn star mostly so we know shes slutty  so her very existence will make stiles jealous and prinze tempted  attempts at drama  which means julia is going to cry  include a pregnancy scare and the big break up  these characters are so insipid only the most forgiving viewer would be manipulated by these weak scenes  what happened here  the cast is full of likable  promising  young actors  stiles especially seems to be going places   writerdirector kris isacsson has simply given them material so weak not even seasoned pros could pull it off  in fact the whole film feels like a reworking of last years extremely unpleasant the story of us  for teen audiences  the direction is filmschoolgrad obvious  its stylish in a hugely self conscious way which throws in split screen  a pointless parody of  cops   characters walking into the flashbacks of other characters  and a hilariously cheesy airport meeting between prinze and stiles where all the extras move in fast motion while the couple moves in extreme slow motion  plus  the whole story is told flashback style  narrated by prinze and stiles directly addressing the camera  this is the second film in a row  following wing commander  starring freddie prinze jr  which should have premiered on the aisles of the local blockbuster but was likely saved from that fate due to the fluke success of shes all that  if he doesnt start making better choices fast his future films wont be so lucky  
neg	for better or worse  the appearance of basic instinct in the movie marketplace gave the greenlight to a whole slew of overheated  oversexed  underwritten thrillers  apparently not having joe eszterhas as the writer doesnt change a thing  since body of evidence wasnt written by him  but has a puzzling eszterhasish presence all over it  in other words  its a  really dirty and b  really  really stupid  madonna  first warning sign  stars in body of evidence as a woman who has piles of money and no apparent job  she lives on a houseboat and likes to parade around seminaked  presumably for the edification of the shrimp  shes been accused of having murdered an older man who was her lover  already two classic examples of hollywood sexism are in effect  the first being that any woman in a movie cannot be sexual unless shes under thirty  or at least looks it   and that they usually only exist for the sake of studs or filthy rich older men  whats worse is that the movie confirms all the above  and wallows in them as well  madonnas character is accused of forcing sex on the old goat when she knew darned well he had a heart condition   and yes  there are the obligatory cracks from the cops about how at least he died happy  this movie leave no scummy stone unturned   anyway  willem dafoe  very good but completely wasted  also stars as the lawyer who is doomed to run afoul of madonnas sexuality  how do we know this  because his character is set up with the token wife and kids  how obvious is it that hes gonna cheat on her and have to fess everything up  and get kicked out of the house  and get welcomed back anyway  dont skip to the end yet  were just getting warmed up  dafoe and madonna have a lot of sex in this movie  most of it is about as erotic as openheart surgery  since it involves such goodies as hot candlewax  always the kink of choice among screenwriters who dont know the first thing about  really  kinky sex  and smashed light bulbs  dont ask  another thing that people are starting to realize about explicit sex in movies is that unless it is critically important to the story  its insanely dull  whats worse is that body of evidence is dull  everywhere   not just in the sex scenes  the stuff in the courtroom is recycled ninthhand from other bad courtroom drama scenes  the thriller business itself is ridiculous  it involves nasal spray bottles and drugs  and juergen prochnow as a surly doctor  and the ending  another homage to eszterhas  maybe   is one of those endings where you can almost see the exact  frame  where one of the five or six various endings to this mess was spliced in  the director is uli edel  all the more disappointing since he also directed the elegiac and powerful last exit to brooklyn and christiane f  everyone has to eat  i guess  but this isnt a meal ticket  its leftovers  
neg	it was with great anticipation that i sat down to view braveheart last week as it premiered on american cable  the academy award winning film had been highly acclaimed  it also featured the music of one of my favorite film composers  james horner  what i was in for was a disappointing and overlong film which was anything but the best picture of 1995  what drags braveheart down is its screenplay  it abounds with high production values  john tolls awardwinning cinematography  which also graced edward zwicks 1994 legends of the fall   a gorgeous score by horner  and the sort of logistics that make you wish assistant directors were household names  but this does not save a misguided script  the film wishes to paint its central character as a hero  but the viewers only response to his  heroism  is intellectual  william wallace  producerdirector mel gibson  is fighting for freedom and against tyranny  so we have to root for him  but wallaces actions paint a different story  he speaks of freedom and acts of vengeance  though one intellectually realizes wallace is on the right side  the film paints an unconvincing emotional portait  in which wallace is just not as bad as the english king  wallace speaks of freedom  but his acts point toward vengeance  after kicking the english out of scotland  he decides to invade england  this is evident of a  spartacus complex   and this example applies both historically and cinematically  the historical spartacus at one point moved from liberating slaves to sacking roman cities  the film spartacus  like braveheart  has high production values and competent performaces and is dragged down by an awful screenplay  it is a shame that such an excellent score is part of such a terrible film  horners score tries to make emotional connection  but the performances and the script do not help  gibson portrays wallace in such a way that the audience cannot relate to him or identify with him  this drags down any emotional connection to the films plot  and turns three hours into a total waste of time  
neg	susan grangers review of  the watcher   universal  just what we need  another lurid  trashy serial killer saga  this time  keanu reeves plays an elusive homicidal maniac who engages in a gruesome tickingclock catandmouse game with james spader  a burntout fbi agent who has suffered a traumatic nervous breakdown after too many years on the job with the lapd  to taunt spader  who has relocated to chicago  reeves packs up his trusty piano wire and moves too  before long  he starts mailing photographs of the lonely  unsuspecting young women who are his intended windy city victims  challenging spader  along with the chicago police department  to stop him within 24 hours before he strikes again  in the midst of this murderous frenzy  theres spaders psychologist  played by marisa tomei  who is even less convincing as a medical professional than jennifer lopez in  the cell   writers david elliot  clay ayers and darcy meyers  along with firsttime director joe charbanic  helmer of music videos for reeves band dogstar   dwell on the warped thrill of the methodology and the chase  revealing  early on  exactly whodunit since the killer says he and the cop  need each other to give meaning to our lives   plus  as reeves explains   were all stacked right on top of each other  but we dont notice each other any more   after that  its all sound effects and tricky camerawork  along with a muddled  discordant soundtrack  james spaders acting technique can be described as wooden deadpan while keanu reeves maintains his perpetually monotone dude persona which sometimes works  sometimes doesnt  chris ellis  as spaders selfimportant colleague  is the only cast member who manages to be convincing  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   the watcher  is an appallingly awful  amateurish 2  the real torture is watching it  
neg	ahh yes  the teenage romance  an attractive young cast is pitted into an unlikely scenario that could only happen in the movies  and in the end  the guy always gets the girl  and with the arrival of the breakout hit shes all that last year  followed by a long catalogue of imitators including 10 things i hate about you and drive me crazy   the genre previously on life support is once again a hot commodity  along now comes down to you  the folks at miramax are obviously trying to capitalize on the rabid shes all that craze with their latest project  which has the studdly freddie prinze jr  attached and all  only down to you doesnt have the  unlikely scenario mentioned above  it is an extraordinarily ordinary romance  a dull  unattractive teen comedy that sticks to the boring game plan that were accustomed to  this is the kind of romance that only giggly 12year old girls will find convincing  in strictly textbook fashion  college sophomore and aspiring chef al  prinze jr   meets freshman artist imogen  julia stiles   they hit it off like a couple can only in the movies  from here  its the standard boymeetsgirl  boylosesgirl  boydrinksentirebottleofshampooandmayormaynotgetgirlback story  the plot is conveniently assembled to suit the requirements of the main characters  who are frequently taking part in activities that     well  only happen in the movies  fortunately  the cast of down to you has a certain appeal  freddie prinze jr  and julia stiles are an adorable couple  and when on screen together  they radiate the sort of warmth and charisma that the movie should have centered around  zak orth  as the newly realized porn star monk  shows an unmistakable flair with handling all of the films intelligent dialogue  rounding out the impressive ensemble of young talent are shawn hatosy  the faculty   selma blair  cruel intentions  and ashton kutcher  tvs that 70s shows   even the fonz himself  henry winkler  the epitome of teenage angst and nostalgia  has a welcome role as als dad  the host of the popular cooking program chef ray  maybe the concept of down to you looked good on paper to draw such a crowd  as a feature film  however  the finished product is bland and tasteless fluff with only an occasional whiff of cuteness to keep the gears from stopping entirely  perhaps worst of all  down to you is not funny  the jokes are drawn from obvious sources and the resulting humor is banal and uninspired  the characters on screen  often laughing at each others goofyembarrassing antics  seemed far more amused than the audience  even the giggly 12year old girls had grown restless toward the end as they waited impatiently for the formula to run its course  the one mildly clever segment featured winkler and prinze jr  in a fantasy sequence called cooks  a cops takeoff in which the father and son would storm houses and cook a decent meal for  needy families  with the assistance of a fullyarmed swat team  of course   when this is the highlight reel  you know the remaining film could leave something to be desired  in order to make a teen comedy work  youve got to have characters that show something by way of depth and identity  10 things i hate about you actually featured characters who were more than walking flashcards  and the result was refreshing  no such luck with down to you  its just a textbook romance where  despite absurd circumstances  everything is bound to work out in the end  and at the end of the whole clich  d ordeal  the nicest thing you could possibly say would be      only in the movies  
neg	 virus  is the type of cliched  vacuous film that has been recylcled so many times before that you wonder why anyone would even bother putting work into making it  strangely enough  on the same midjanuary weekend last year  another film was released like this   deep rising   about an ugly monster on a cruise liner  prior movies with the almost exact same storyline include 1989s  leviathan   1989s  deep star six   and all four  alien  pictures   virus   in comparison  is a servicable thriller  wellmade and produced  but since it doesnt include one moment of even remote originality or intelligence  it sinks under the weight of the water that the film was shot on  based on a series of comic books   virus  concerns the crew of an ocean salvage tugboat  which becomes extremely damaged during a violent typhoon  after discovering that the boat is slowly sinking   un  lucky for them  a huge ocean vessel that appears to be dead in the water turns up within the confines of their radar screen  once the team reaches the russian ship  they go on board to find that the place is seemingly deserted  after turning the power back on  however  there gradually are signs that something else is on the ship  and the electrical equipment is oddly working by itself  one survivor finally does turn up  nadia  joanna pacula   who informs the suicidal and stern captain  donald sutherland  and one of the crew  kit foster  jamie lee curtis   that a mysterious alien life form hit the santi mir space station which then was transported down to the ship  taking over the minds of all of the electrical machines and thinking that humans are viruses that should be completely wiped out  if  virus  sounds like all of the previously mentioned movies  youre correct  although the technical artistry is fairly impressive to bring the mechanical creature to life  the film itself doesnt appear to have a brain in its head  the film sticks so close to the wornout conventions of the  creature  genre that it is amazing anyone would spend the money and time filming it when they could be making an original film  the actors are all very good and have all proven their acting abilities in the past  but they are sorely wasted here and do not really even have characters to play  in her second return to horror in the last year  jamie lee curtis once again proves to be a strong and resourceful heroine  but that is about it  although 1998s  halloween  h20  was also a disappointment  at least she was given a few scenes to develop a character  unlike here  donald sutherland has fallen on hard times recently by starring in thoroughly disposable films  such as 1994s  the puppet masters   although i just watched him in the superb 1978 scifi classic  invasion of the body snatchers   where he was fabulous  the last of the three topbillers is william baldwin  but it is fairly hard to say if he is good or not in the picture  since he has nothing to do  basically   virus  is another one of those films where a group of people walk around and investigate a space shipocean linerhaunted house until the deadly and equally grotesque and slimy creature pops up and kills them onebyone  it is not the worst of its type  but it is far from one of the best  and when exactly are studios going to give up recycling such shameless and overdone plot gimmicks such as this  as long as some of them keep making money  i suspect the answer is never  
neg	over 40 years ago  a japanese production company called toho introduced the land of the rising sun to gojira  a reptilian creature of immense proportions created by mankinds nuclear testing  partly flight of fancy  partly commentary on the exploitation of atomic power and weaponry  gojira emerged from the ocean to terrorize tokyo  a year later  gojira was marketed to the united states by adding three things  a new name  a dubbed english track  and raymond burr  as godzilla  the film took on the rest of the world  thirty years later  toho remade the classic film and once again took it to the american market by adding the same three things  yes  including raymond burr  and called it godzilla 1985  now its 14 years after tohos remake  and director roland emmerich has allowed the giant lizard to make an american first run  in emmerichs godzilla  matthew broderick plays dr  niko tatopoulos  a biologist who is called in to join other scientists in the south pacific already studying the existence of a radiationinduced super mutant which leaves footprints the size of livingrooms  when the mutant reptile suddenly appears out of the hudson river  tatopoulos and the rest of the team relocate themselves back to the states  meanwhile  tatopouloss college girlfriend  audrey timmonds  maria pitillo   works in new york city as an assistant to a bigtime news reporter  shed like to be a reporter herself  and when godzilla comes ashore  she figures this is her big break  of course  with the big guy running amok in the city  niko and audrey are bound to cross paths  and are joined by victor  animal  palotti  hank azaria   audreys trusty cameraman friend  and phillipe roche  jean reno   an operative for the french government  whose nuclear testing started the whole problem in the first place  together they attempt to find and destroy the surprisingly elusive godzilla  with the resources of the most cutting edge special effects houses and the clout of one of the nations premiere movie production companies  one would think emmerich could make a film truly deserving of the name godzilla  he didnt  right up there with the lost world  godzilla is one of the biggest disappointments in recent cinematic history  the plot is pretty much what we expect  the big dinosaurlike creature comes out of the water and starts smashing new york city  and its up to our heroes to figure out why this thing is on its rampage and how it can be stopped  while the military makes futile attempts to bring the creature down  the script  however  is painfully bad  its fraught with lines so corny  they dont even belong in bmovies  and includes many character actions which make you think   you idiot   or  you stupid girl   i suppose when youve got a movie with a giant lizard loose in new york  any other semblance of reality goes out the window as well  why is it that godzilla topples some buildings by merely brushing against them  but is conveniently able to leap atop others  why do helicopters have to follow godzilla by flying dangerously between buildings where they can lose sight of him  when they could more easily keep track of him by flying a little higher and in a straight line  why do sidewinder missiles  which have small explosive warheads  blow up entire buildings when they miss godzilla  why is a mission to bomb madison square garden carried out by three f18 fighterbombers  when flights of such aircraft are always comprised of multiples of two  okay  maybe the last one was a bit nitpicky  but hey  i was on a roll  broderick is usually a good actor  but in this film hes weighed down by an unexciting character and an atrocious screenplay which seem to fight against him every step of the way  hank azaria does what he can  but dont expect to see development of any of the promise he showed in the birdcage  like brodericks  azarias character is quite simply lacking in color  what really annoyed me was maria pitillo  who actually takes the bad script and makes it worse with her acting  casting must have been asleep on this one  the one bright spot here is jean reno  who oddly enough seems to fit well into a role which is often comedic  quite unlike what weve seem him do in the past  although his character is contradictory to the unfolding disaster  reno brings a style to the role of phillipe which makes him enjoyable  unfortunately  the same cannot be said of the other incongruities  the entire feel of the movie is tongueincheek  and seems to pay comical homage to a dozen or so films that have come before it  this results in a significant amount of parody  which contrasts sharply with the threat of the monster  and ends up just producing a mess  most of the characters seem to be there for comic relief  and almost none are smart enough for the audience to take seriously  although emmerich obviously wanted to make a fun action picture  what good is it to sink millions into a cgi creature whose ferocity is undermined by the humans he threatens  if we cant take the characters seriously  the threat they face is an empty one because we simply dont care what happens to them  godzilla simply pulls too many punches in its attempt to be a film more lighthearted than it should be  far be it from me to want to see more carnage in the theaters  but heres a behemoth running through the city  theres bound to be a lot of casualties  but instead godzilla is afflicted with the afterschool g  i  joe cartoon syndrome  where almost everyone seems to get out of harms way just in time  in a couple of scenes  godzilla briefly breathes fire  none of the characters even remark upon this ability  nor is it used to any particular advantage by the filmmakers  its as if the special effects people just wanted to show that yes  godzilla can do this  just like in the old movie  consider another punch pulled  through creative script writing  you can make a sequel out of just about any movie  but the final scene in this one doesnt just leave the door open  it opens into a hallway leading directly into a room where godzilla ii is waiting patiently  it made me want to gag  emmerich should have done away with 90 of the humor and injokes and played this one as a straight action film  with an intelligently written screenplay  godzilla could have been so much more  however  by confusing the viewer with a ton of addins and parodies  the movie ends up being something that just doesnt work  now if they only had raymond burr     
neg	before the remake of psycho appears  weve got to suffer through this remake of an earlier hitchcock film  dial m for murder  as usual  hollywood has filled it with glitz and big name stars  and it all amounts to a loud sounding nothing  the film opens with emily  paltrow  and david  viggo mortensen  having fun in an loft apartment  the problem is  paltrow is married to stephen  douglas   who is not too happy when he discovers this affair  if i was paltrow  though  id definitely go with mortensen  less wrinkles  anyhow  stephen approaches david with an interesting proposition  hell pay him to kill his lovely wife  mortensen agrees  but the murder goes awry  and the twists keep on coming as the film progresses  unfortunately  the film dosent progress very fast  in fact  it moves like a tortoise with arthritis  read  very  very slow   the plot moves nowhere fast  and only becomes exciting in very short bursts  not too good for a thriller   also  the performances  apart from douglas  are below par  paltrow  showing immense talent in se7en  1995  and sliding doors  1997  is strangely stilted  even unconvincing  in this movie  mortensen is a little bit better  coming across as a younger douglas  but his role isnt meaty enough to show all his talent  which leaves douglas to waltz away with the film  which is does  however  i doubt douglas finds it very hard to play a stogie smoking  drinking womanizer with a creepy underside  also popping up in the film is david suchet  playing a shifty looking detective  again  its not a character were seeing on the screen  its david suchet  the director  who bought us the fugitive  piles on all the flash techniques  such as zoomins  quick cuts  etc  the lighting is also interesting  however  looks cant save this film from the depths of mediocre  and the film seemed to work better in a single set anyway  the screenplay is o  k  but theres some hackneyed subplot about douglas being a ruthless player on wall street  again  and the ending is surprisingly stupid and cliched  the characters also make incredibly dumb moves  especially paltrow  and stephen appears to lose all intelligence in the last reel  with a combination of no tension  drama  or decent characters  a perfect murder is a failure all round  and an incredible disappointment  there are a few bright moments  but they are far and few between  the last thing a thriller should be is boring  and although the film just barely manages to keep your interest thanks to michael douglas  you wouldnt be missing anything if you decided not to watch a perfect murder  overall rating review by david wilcock  1998  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
neg	coinciding with the emerging popularity of movies that deal with anything related to serial killers  relentless  1989 low budget thriller about lapd detective sam dietz  played by character actor leo rossi  spawned three more sequels  relentless 3  third in the row  features sam dietz again  but this time detective  who had to catch vicious serial killer in his very first case  doesnt want to deal with similar line of work  divorced  demoralised and transferred  he reluctantly returns to his old post when los angeles becomes a hunting ground for another serial killer  and evidence indicate connection with one of dietzs old cases  to make things even more interesting  it seems that the killer deliberately stages murders in order to bring dietz to the investigation  fans of the british tv films and miniseries like prime suspect or cracker would probably see a lot of similarities relentless series of movies  they both feature vicious psychopathic killers  yet also give a lot of  usually depressive  details about chief investigators private lives  this one isnt an exception  but similarities with british television are only in content  the execution and style is different  which makes this film mediocre piece of entertainment at best  useless  gratuitous erotica also doesnt help either  obviously making this film longer than it should be  the actors are good  though  leo rossi is fine as usual  and william forsythe plays one of more compelling villains in his career  signy coleman as dietzs love interest  is  on the other hand  quite miscast  but she wont have to worry about it in the future career  since relentless 3 wasnt supposed to be anybodys finest moment anyway  
neg	edward burns tackles his third picture with no looking back  and like his previous two  it is a workingclass relationship picture  however  unlike his previous work  the film dwells on a more personal story  and with a female protagonist  and in no looking back  he stumbles  making a slow  boring film without the spark that enlivened his previous work  claudia  lauren holly  is a small town waitress who is feeling stifled by her life  shes at a turning point in her life  and feels as if shes going nowhere  her boyfriend  michael  jon bon jovi   is broke and in a dead end job  if she were to marry him  shed never get a chance to escape this town  enter charlie  edward burns   claudias old flame  he skipped town several years before  without any explanations    even for claudia  he has come back to town to see her  and suddenly she is torn  should she stay with stable michael  and never escape her hometown    or should she ignore her instincts and fall for charlie again  part of the answer lies in the character of her mother  blythe danner   who fell for the wrong man    and has spent her life pining for claudias father to return  now it seems that claudia is about to make the same mistakes  at only a little past ninety minutes  no looking back is rather short for its genre  unfortunately  it seems much much longer  the storyline is simple and uninspired  and theres a lack of energy to the whole proceedings  which makes the entire drama rather tedious  edward burns makes a misstep by casting himself in the crucial role as the egomaniacal old flame  theres no one to restrain his ego  which reigns unchecked  he walks into the room and lauren holly swoons    yeah  right  lauren holly does what she can with her central character  but we never understand why her character makes such pathetically bad decisions    and we never really care  bon jovi is the only sympathetic character in the whole movie  his acting talents are much greater than they might seem  but he is given a mostly bland and ineffective role to work with  theres not much to recommend in no looking back  its not that the film is bad    its simply boring  theres no zest in any aspect of the film  and no reason to spend ninety minutes watching it  
neg	i dont expect much from eddie murphy these days  for the past four years  the gods of cinemaor the expansive payrolls of studio conglomerateshave allowed him to make one bad movie after another  such films as metro  doctor dolittle  holy man  life  and bowfinger have reduced a once great comedic persona to a living and breathing washedup hack performing as a studio puppet for 20th century fox and universal pictures  the biggest shame to fall on his shoulders is his newest film  nutty professor ii  the klumps  the klumps once again revisits the life of sherman klump  an overweight university science professor looking for love in all the wrong places  sherman has just invented a new  youth drink  that enables man or beast to become younger for a short period of time  janet jackson is the love interest who chooses the lovable sherman for a soul mate rather than excel at her career as a university professor  and for the most ridiculous reasons   with love on his mind  sherman is determined to rid himself of his alter ego  buddy love from the first professor  who still resides with vigor inside his psyche and causes sherman to act like a bad imitation of vince vaughn from swingers  with some convoluted mumbojumbo about dna extraction  sherman extracts the  buddy love  link in his dna and smartly deposits buddy into a handydandy lab beaker  but one night  the beaker is knocked over and buddy love is regenerated    because every movie like this needs an unnecessary villain to thwart the good guy  then the klump family  all played by eddie murphy  step in for some comedic relief involving old people having sex  flabby breasts  a slew of fart and dick jokes  and enough fat people jokes that i lost count after the first thirty minutes  and did i mention the part where larry miller gets anally raped by an overgrown hamster  the movie finally dissolves into a really bad hallmark family special about realizing who you are and what you can be in this world  with enough soft lighting and people on the verge of tears in every scene  pure and simple  the klumps is a failure  its script was handled by not one but five screenwriters  and it really shows during the awkward transitions between scenes  any sense of story and plot were lost in the rewrite process  its more discerning to learn that chris weitz and paul weitz  the team behind one of the funniest films of the last decade  american pie  have their names stamped to this trash  hey guys  quick note  keep this movie off of your resumes  the characterization of shermans family  the klumps  is one of the most ignorant stereotypes of a black family i have ever seen in cinema  everyone member of the family is a large person who wipes the bins clean at a local buffet restaurant like pigs at a trough  the grandma is an oversexed fiend who constantly talks of ways to pleasure her man and her sagging breasts  the father is gruff  is fired from a bluecollar job  is sexually inadequate  and cannot communicate with his family about his feelings  the mother is ignorant of all the negativity around her and seems to hold no opinion about anything or anyone  the brother is silent and brooding and resembles the ice cube gangster character from boyz in the hood  sherman himself is terribly insecure and never conveys anything for the audience to become attached to  but the main problem with the film is its inability to create any type of convincing conversational or situational comedy  the family scenes from the first nutty professor worked so well because their conversations were short and direct  and you got the feeling that these crass people couldnt act like this all the time  the sequel does the reverse and drives the negatives of the klumps right in to the hilt  making the first five minutes of their interaction enjoyable and the last 55 or so unbearable and pathetic  after a while  their conversations just become a barrage of frustrated anger tinged with indecency and overworked premises that end up drawing energy away from any type of empathy one might feel for the central themes of the story  its also a damn shame that the makeup magic of rick baker  who worked on the original nutty professor and won an academy award for his work on an american werewolf in london  and amazing digital special effects that enabled murphy to interact with himself in such beautiful motions are built around such a lame story line  even the best effects cant seem to save the most pathetic of movies these days  now that i think about it  the worst thing about this film has to be all the money that it will make  people will be lined up around the block for it  the studios will concoct the a sequel for release in the summer of 2002  eddie murphy will be signed up to take not just one role or five roles  but hell play every character in the movie  i just cant wait to see eddie murphy in a love scene with himself  
neg	brian de palma  the director who bought us carrie  dressed to kill and mission  impossible is back  and has bought all his technical expertise with him  sadly  he forget to bring a good story and believable characters  nic cage plays rick santaro  a fast talking cop who is watching a boxing match with his friend commander kevin dunne  sinise   an assassination takes place  and santaro tries to peace together how it took place  trying to work out the roles of the people involved in this conspiracy  the film uses flashbacks and video cameras to bring the mystery together  however  the film doesnt keep the mystery for long  and once the big secret is out concerning kevin dunne  the film is at a dead end  although there are some fantastic shots by de palma  including a 15 minute steadicam shot at the start of the film  halfway through the film drops dead  the problem is that de palma doesnt have a strong story or characters to work with  he tries to offshoot this with flashy camera techniques  but pretty soon this has no effect on the audience  and i quickly got bored  nic cage and gary sinise try to inject some life into some poorly realised characters  but its no use  they are boring  faceless  and completely unlikeable  yes  another problem with the film is that theres noone to root for  were supposed to be on cages side  because his character becomes nicer throughout the film  however  his change is sadly unbelievable  poor gary sinises character is terrible  who completely changes throughout the start  the middle and the end  in an appalling way  the films use of flashback quickly gets boring  while clever and interesting the first few times  it quickly becomes apparent that flashbacks are being used because the film has nowhere to go  they certainly dont increase the tension or suspense of the movie  there is small thread of suspense running through the film  but it certainly doesnt make this film a powerhouse thriller  rather just a slightly below average one  the script is lousy and contrived  the characters flat and two dimensional  certainly not good factors for a film passing itself off for a thriller  the most depressing aspect of the film is that it had potential  theres a good story buried in snake eyes  its just bogged down in razzle dazzle and flashbacks  it also gives itself away far too quickly  rather than leaving the big twist for the end  while the performances are intriguing  especially by newcomer carla gugino as a sexy number cruncher wrapped up in the case  theres no way of altering the fact that snake eyes is a terminal case of style of substance  and unless youre a big fan of either cage or flash directing  should be avoided  a david wilcock review  1998  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
neg	its now the anniversary of the slayings of julie james  jennifer love hewitt  best friends  still besieged by nightmarish memories of the man responsible for it all  she seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown  she cant concentrate on her schoolwork  cant get a good nights sleep  and is even frightened by the shadows and the blinking strobe lights at a local dance club  everywhere she looks  she sees visions of the man in a rubber slicker with the hook on his hand  in the first movie  i know what you did last summer  julie and three of her friends accidentally kill a man  running him down while driving down a dark mountain highway  to cover their misdeed  they dump the body into the ocean  however  he never quite died and returned to hunt down julie and her friends  julie and one other  ray  freddie prinze jr    survived only to make this dismal sequal  needing some desparate rest and relaxation  she is elated to learn that her college roommate  karla  brandy   has won a trip for four to a secluded tropical island  accompanying these two girls are karlas overbearing boyfriend  tyrell  mehki phifer  and a potential beau for julie  but was this contest too good to be true  the resort is filled with a skeleton staff that seemed like love boat rejects  meanwhile  the hotel is practically deserted as the storm season is about to begin  this presumably creates a venue where they will be secluded and will have no possible means off the island  eventually  they will be hunted down during power outages and chased around during intense lightning storms  as you might have guessed  somewhere in the shadows lurk a mysteriously strange figure that is wearing a rubber slicker and wielding a hook  julie tries to convince her friends that the killer is on the island  an eerie touch is when she is singing  i will survive  at the karaoke bar and the words scroll  i still know       but her friends chalk it up to paranoia  but the body count soon starts to rise  and for julie  its going to be the worst vacation of her life  the funny  yes  i used the word funny  thing about this movie is that i heard more chortling and giggling  maybe it was my giggling  than i heard screaming  this movie boils down to a mindless slashfest that never conjures up any amount of wry wit or even a quirky campiness  there isnt even any suspense that leads up to the deaths  heres an appropriate example  knockknock   housekeeping   says the diminuitive cleaning lady  the door suddenly opens up  slash  next victim  is there any reason to go and see this movie  not unless you want to see four uninteresting college kids run around in circles for about 90 minutes  but i do want to say one thing about this movie that satisfied me  i was thoroughly irritated with tyrell  who incessantly ranted and raved about his sexual libido  i secretly wished for him to get filleted  did he get hooked  well  lets just say that if he didnt  i would give this film a grade of  d   
neg	lucas was wise to start his star wars trilogy with episode 4  episode 1 is a boring  empty spectacle that features some nice special effects  after the familiar a long time ago      opening  the film starts with the opening yellow crawl that features in every star wars movie and computer game  the plot is that the trade confederation are blocking off supplies to the peaceful planet of naboo  ruled by queen amidala  portman  jedi knights quigon  neeson  and obi wan  mcgregor  are sent to negotiate a deal with the confederation to stop the blockade  however  this simple blockade is not all it seems  and the jedi knights soon have to deal with many more dangers  including facing the evil darth maul  ray park   they also meet the future darth vadar  anakin skywalker  jake lloyd  star wars is largely a failure in all the major areas of filmmaking  script  direction and characters  the script desperately tries to make an thin and boring story into a two hour epic  the trade confederation plot is just not as exciting as the death star  and as the film goes on the drama becomes more and more nonexistent  theres no underlying tension  and no urgent need to see what the outcome is  the film also takes a leisurely pace in telling the boring story  which doesnt help  theres no snap to make the film work  it moves at a plod  the script is boring  all the characters speak in morals  especially anakins mother  theres no group spirit evident here  and when all characters can speak only in profound statements or bark orders  its evident that not much is going to happen  the two leads are hideously boring  static characters given little to do and too much time to do it  quigon and obiwan hold no presence on film  and give little for the audience to root for  the audience will probably warm more to bad guy darth maul  if he had been given more screen time  maul is one of the most underused bad guys in film history  even if he does provide the only straight plot line in the film  all the other plots in this film are to be concluded throughout the trilogy   anakin is annoying and unlikeable   instead of cute and huggable as lucas no doubt intended  its probably not surprising that his hateful little boy  unfortunately blessed ani by everyone he knows  joins the dark side and kills everyone as quickly as possible  the comedy relief is supposedly provided by the gangly jar jar brinks  although in the end none is provided in the film by him  although his floppy features will no doubt be great for stuffed toys  the lines and actions he is given are painfully unfunny  the only good laugh is when his tongue is burned by a pod racer  because i knew he wouldnt be able to talk for a while  queen amidala is a nothing in the film  she serves no real purpose apart from the fact that she must serve her people   and go googoo over anakin  again  her role will become more important in the later episodes  and is given little to do here  the actors dont help the movie much either  liam neeson seems bored and embarrassed  and seems desperate to leave the movie as quickly as possible  mcgregor comes across as a posh mothers boy  with little charm  the casting director must have chose him because hes scottish like alec guinness  theres little other explanation for it  natalie portman is plagued by hideous costumes and a poor script  but she delivers a spunky performance  and jake lloyd looks at everyone with hateful eyes and delivers his lines in a bored voice  theres very little talent evident with him  its hard to see why lucas chose him when there are better child actors out there  hes not even very cute   the main claim of the film  the special effects  are okay  theres nothing impressive about them  yet they complement the story well  the cgi takes away much of the human element  however  the battle droids for example  the replacement for the stormtroopers  are characterless little computer graphics  lacking the humour and humanness that came from the stormtroopers  episode 1 is just disappointing  its got high production values  but little else  the music is meandering  except near the end  the plot gives us noone to root for  or even care for  the effects are nice  but dull  the plot goes on for half an hour longer than it should  theres an air of manufacturing among the whole sorry affair  and many clich  s are catered for throughout the film  apart from a remotely exciting pod race sequence  episode 1 is a dry affair that serves little purpose  except to make money and to get us to watch episode 2 to see what happens to the many unfinished plot lines in the film  disappointing is barely the word  rating 
neg	five girls spend a day in a closed building doing inventory when a strange box gets delivered there  is this starting to sound familiar   by mistake  the girls accidentlly open the box  big surprise  huh   and release an evil spirit of a killer that kills the girls off one by one  betcha didnt see that one coming    hard to die  i found out while watching the film  is a sequel to sorority house massacre 2  nightie nightmare  r  a  m  r   1521   two of the actresses from sorority house massacre 2 are in this film  robyn harris and melissa moore  but they play different characters here  orville ketchum is also back as  get ready for this  orville ketchum  yes  the same character from number two   yes  he is also built like a tank in this film too  im telling you  a nuclear bomb detonated next to this man wouldnt harm him at all  the before mentioned three were the only actors from part two that i thought could act  well they seemed to have lost that ability  thankfully  for my sanity  i also saw the film warlock  which undid all the ill effects that i got from this film  the story for this film is completely ridiculous and has many elements from many cheapo low budget horror flicks  any good moments that this film fails to make are even more destroyed by the story line  the film is so pathetically predictable that every moment has already been figured out  analyzed  and discarded before it happens  there is no point in this film that any suspense is ever afoot  while we are on the subject of the story  the story also provides every chance it can to disrobe an actress  the film goes to the extent of putting a shower in the managers office  im sorry folks but this is completely unnecessary  ridiculous  and hurts the story more  if that is still possible   the script for this film is completely pathetic  the lines the actresses come out with are completely horrible  the only thing that i think could have happened is that the actors made up the script as they went along  here is an example of the wonderful dialog  the scene is two girls have just entered a gun store and have picked out a  really  big gun  the line is  my dad used to be a marine  i bet i can work it   this line has got to be a contender for the bad line hall of infamy  now  we fast forward for a few minutes until just after a big plan       has been presented  one comment from an actress is  not a lot of strategy involved  but i like it   im afraid folks that this is about as good as they get  now lets talk about the great special effects for this film  this obviously wasnt a big concern of the film makers  the killing scenes are so obviously faked that they go to the point of threatening the viewers intelligence  a girl gets hacked with a knife and enough blood comes out to do one friday the 13th movie  are we trying to see how unrealistic we can get  the continuity department was obviously asleep  along with the viewers  when watching this film  in one shot  actress has cloths on  camera angle changes  actress seems to have lost clothing  very impressive trick  the one  half   plus that this film has going for it  is that in many places it is unintentionally hilarious  the incompetence behind the film makes it incredibly funny  and so the viewer can get some enjoyment       from the film  however  this doesnt make it worth the rental fee of over a penny  in the acting department  the only thing i can say is two thumbs squared and one head down  i would normally do a detailed paragraph on this topic  but there is no point here because there is nobody that i was impressed with in the least  oh well  win some  lose some  
neg	the first film produced by adam sandlers happy madison production company  clever title eh   is essentially a one joke movie  much like the movies sandler stars in himself  however the difference here is that this one joke just isnt very funny  rob schneider stars as the title character  a scruffy fish tank cleaner who ends up becoming a  manwhore  to raise enough money to replace a wealthy clients custom made fish tank  which deuce destroyed while staying in his home  deuce goes on numerous  dates   and each woman he goes out with has a  humorous  quirk about herself  one has narcolepsy  one has tourettes syndrome  one is a man    etc  etc  my problem is that we see all of these women in the films trailer  so why do i need to watch the movie  seen the trailer    seen the film  only a quick cameo from norm macdonald  and a follow up joke during the closing credits  generates any chuckles  deuce bigalow  male gigolo is available on dvd from touchstone home video  a division of diney   the disc includes the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  85  1  and features the original theatrical trailer  as well as trailers for mystery alaska  happy texas  and outside providence   an extremely brief production featurette  which contains footage not used in the film   and storyboardtoscene comparisons  yep  you read that right    there are storyboard comparisons on this dvd  two scenes are storyboarded    neither of which are particularly exciting  there are fight scenes in this movie  so why arent we seeing storyboards of those segments  especially the parody moments from the matrix   i wonder whats funnier  the fact that any moment in this film required storyboards or that diney thought fans of this film would want to see them  deleted scenes  sure  audio commentary  you betcha  but storyboards  come on  r 
neg	tectonic plates is an incredibly painful motion picture experience that nearly prompted me to walk out 20 minutes into the movie  the film  which opened in canada during 1992 but was never released in the united states  is based on a 1988 stage play by canadian auteur robert lapage  and  while its evident that this could be a fascinating live production  the translation to the screen is a creative disaster  enduring tectonic plates is like sitting through a filmed version of performance art  lifeless and tedious  the qualities that make it captivating when seen in person are effaced in the motion picture medium  tectonic plates has a storyline  although the narrative is developed in a decidedly nontraditional fashion  with shots of the stagebound play intercut with more typical cinematic sequences  its not an inherently uninteresting way to present a movie  despite the valid complaint that it is pretentious  allbutscreaming   look  art     although it keeps the audience distanced from the characters  because were constantly made aware that were watching a play or a movie  its impossible to accept these individuals as anything more than mouthpieces for the writers ideas  theyre not real  sympathetic  or believable  im willing to give director peter mettler credit for trying something different  but this particular experiment is not a success  tectonic plates opens by introducing us to madeleine  marie gignac   an art student studying in montreal who has fallen in love with her professor  jacques  lapage   one day  he disappears  and  fearing that he left because she was undeserving of his love  madeleine travels to venice to kill herself  while preparing to commit suicide  she encounters drug addict constance  celine bonnier   who causes madeleine to rethink her decision  meanwhile  jacques has moved to new york city  where he starts crossdressing  calls himself jennifer  and becomes a successful counterculture talkshow host  with settings that shift from paris to venice to montreal to manhattan to scotland  supporting characters that include a topless goddess and a deafmute  and cultural references that point to chopin  george sand  and jim morrison  tectonic plates is unique  if nothing else  however  as interesting as the film sounds  and i was excited to see it because the synopsis is promising   it never really delivers  the tone is soporific  the supposedlyintellectual prattle is inane and uninteresting  the plot meanders in a pointless and irritating manner  although it doesnt take long for the viewer to determine that the story is largely unimportant   and the symbolism is obvious  tectonic plates is trying to show that human interaction is as volatile as unpredictable as the shifting of the earth  but it takes onehundred minutes to get across this transparent point  there are some worthwhile moments  such as a silly sword fight between jacques and the topless goddess and an entertaining discussion in both french and english about the differences between the two languages  although the fine points will certainly be lost on those who arent bilingual   the only people likely to enjoy tectonic plates are those who feel a strong need to praise something this rootless and boring because  a  its different   b  its not like anything theyve seen before  and  c  its pretentious  for everyone else  its not only a waste of time  but a poor introduction to the work of robert lapage  
neg	various films seen at the seattle film festival  its all truethree men on a raft  u  s  a   19421986  director  orson welles a recently uncovered onefourth of orson welles planned  docudrama  of amazing stories around the world named its all true  this short dealt with welles attempts to document the actions of several brazilian fisherman in 1942 who had become folk heroes for their fantastic voyage to rio on a raft  while several clips of the film are seen  the short tends to spend more time trying to recount welles attempts to film it  despite studio problems  a staggering workload  and extremely ill fortune on the set  impressive photography  but really only interesting to film historians  sadie thompson  u  s  a   1928  director  raoul walsh screenwriter  raoul walsh  from the john colton play  rain   based on w  somerset maughams story  miss thompson  cast  gloria swanson  raoul walsh  lionel barrymore silent after the discussion of the newlyrestored version of frank capras lost horizon  where several scenes had been restored using stills  i was interested to see sadie thompson  where the last 5 minutes of the film had been destroyed many years ago  this is the silent version of the somerset maugham short story  miss thompson   this is one of the most skillful silent films i have ever seenlittle awkwardness  and a very clever script  the actors  gloria swanson  raoul walsh  who also directed and wrote the screenplay  and especially lionel barrymore  as the hypocritical reformer who supposedly wants to save sadies soul  but really wants to get her between the sheets  is the absolute epitome of sanctimonious scoundrel  swanson adds real life to the character  adding an worldly  affectionate air to the bawdy sadie  unfortunately  the ending is rather poorly tied up  it is difficult to know whether this is due to the lack of liveaction film  or the original script  the happy ending seems particularly poorly tied on  i cannot believe maughams short story ended with sadie and our hero moving to australia   the stills are expected to fill in a conclusion weve been waiting an hour and a half for  still  its entertaining right up to the end  certainly barrymores incredibly hammy performance  which  nonetheless  works  perhaps due to the silent screen  is a must for anyone who is fed up with the actions of the falwells  bakkers  and robertses of the religious worlds  a c movie  worth 2  50 if you can find it  the pied piper  czechoslovakia  1986  director  jim barta screenwriter  kamil piza this is an animated film from czechoslovakia that is definitely not for kids  it tells the old folk tale of the pied piper with a twist ending i find highly appropriate  and with a lot of political comment along with it  perhaps economic content is a better wordit certainly doesnt show capitalism in a good light  nor human nature  nor anything else  for that matter  as you may have guessed  this is not a tgif film  this is the kind of film you are glad is over  not that it wasnt interesting for technical reasons  this is stopanimation that is very well done  all the puppets have been carefully carved out of walnutsexcept for the animated stuffed rats  boy  sounds like a real comedy vehicle  doesnt it  add onto that set design that makes the cabinet of doctor caligari absolutely cheerful in comparison  and you have something to give the wee ones  and some of the mentally unstable larger folk  to keep them up at night  some gore  dont bring children to this one  dont bring adults to this one  unless theyre fascinated by puppetry andor hate capitalism so badly they enjoy seeing wooden puppets raped  blech   no fun whatsoever  meier  west germany  1986  directorscreenwriter  peter timm cast  rainier grenkowitz  nadja engelbrecht  alexander hauff  thomas besvater subtitled this film takes us back and forth over the east germanwest german border with meier  an east german wallpaperer whose father in the west dies and leaves him a good deal of money  his uncle  also in the west  sneaks meier out of the country  unknown to the east germans  meier  however  is less than thrilled his girlfriend  his friends and his job  which he likes  all exist in east germany  after a roundtheworld trip  his boss thinks hes on leave in bulgaria   meier starts visiting east germany on day visas with a fake id  and uses his money and his connections to the west to buy his girlfriend presents and bring credit to his work crews workwhile everyone thinks hes still living in east germany  of course  something goes wrongand the ending is very funny  but it takes the film too long to get there  the humor is spread too thin  and much of the plot is too obvious  as is the acting   still  a good concept for the comedy  and the last five minutes are pretty funny  c  2  50  the right hand man  australia  1986  director  di drew screenplay  helen hodgman cast  rupert everett  hugo weaving  arthur dignam  jennifer claire  catherine mcclements after a lifetime of moviegoing  and about four years of attending the seattle international film festival  ive learned several rules which  while not absolute  should certainly be given deference to  1  be wary of french comedies  these people like jerry lewis  2  ken russell is never going to grow up  no matter how long you wait  3  any film where siff associate director gary tucker refers to the lead as  old poutylips  is probably not worth watching  4  when an australian film only awards credit is best cinematography  watch out  australia has good cinematographers up the whazoo  but since weir and miller left for foreign shores  finding a good script or director seems to be a difficult  not impossiblewitness malcolm last year  task  well  i ignored rules 3  4 last night  and sat through a film that should be in the golden turkey awards  its as if the director was trying to do one of those classic romance stories that were done in the 30s about tragedy among the gentry  and falling in love with people below your station  and horses  lots and lots of horses  the film opens with a stallion mounting a mare under the direction of her ladyship  which i guess is some kind of foreshadowing  because the missus of the house wants to have her son produce an heir  unfortunately  said son  a reckless idiot who faints at the very worst times  kills his father and loses an arm during a racing accident  highlights include the amputation sequence  the doctors daughter  who has the hots for the son  tasting his urine for a diagnosis  their tender kissing with a window between them  while its rainingyoud think a woman studying medicine would know better   the photography is good  but i kept wishing for bweverything seems sepiacolored anyway  actually  i wished i was watching swimming to cambodia instead  but thats life  grade  z  avoid like the plague  unless youre looking for inadvertent yuks  
neg	capsule  the weakest and least engaging of the alien movies  dragged down by an uninvolving story and no real tension  alien 3  the  3  should be in superscript  is a sad and wan entry in what was shaping up as one of the best sf sagas ever put on screen  it continues the story of ripley  the spacetruckerturnedimpromptusurvivalist  but seems remarkably uninterested in her  in fact  the movie seems lucky to be interested in anything at all  its so elegaic and limp  a little of this would have been nice for atmosphere  but the movie telegraphs its own tragedy from the beginning  at the end of the last film  aliens   ripley and two survivors were on their way home  unfortunately  an alien pod had been deposited in their ship  and wound up triggering off their ejection in an escape pod  the pod crashes on firorina 161  a prison planet designed to house the incurably criminally violent  ripley lives through the crash  the others do not  the prison is a grim place  even as prisons go  its been built around the remnants of an abandoned steelworks  which provides no end of technogothic backdrops for the actors to be backlit against  lice are endemic  and so ripleys head is shaved  another surreal touch   at first it looks like she just has to hold out as an unwelcome guest until a company rescue ship can arrive  but it doesnt stay that way  one of the other eggs on board the wrecked escape pod hatches  and soon a newlygestated alien is running amuck  worse  it looks like ripley herself has been impregnated  whats weird is how little tension this generates  except near the end  when the pressure is being troweled on through every cheap cinematic form of cheating imaginable  loud music  shaky camerawork  etc  sigourney weaver has become comfortable with the role  and she does well with it  but this time the role has been underwritten and left slack  the supporting actors are also not given a lot to do  the doctor  charles dance  and another  rather religious inmate  charles s  dutton  very good   hiave presence  but theyre not asked to do anything with it  in light of the impending sequel  which apparently plays fast and loose with the ending of this movie  i will not talk about the ending  except to say that they found a remarkably good ending for such a drab movie  its strange that some of the desperate and improvisational thinking that they found to wind up this story couldnt have driven the rest of it  
neg	 from the director of  the nightmare before christmas  it said in the previews  which im guessing was said to get people to go see the movie  obviously it hasnt worked since the 75 million dollar movie has yet to break 5 million  to each its own however  since  monkey bone  is not only a bad movie all together  but technically wellmade  a tragic waste of talent and incredible visual effects  stu miley is the genius behind the new phenomena  monkey bone  a crude comic strip  that everyone wants to merchandise  they go to great links to get it as well  including dollars that let out fart powder  when stu and his girlfriend  julie  bridget fonda  are in a freak car accident  youll see  stu goes into a coma  and while in his coma stu travels to im guessing dark town  where all the characters in dreams come to life  people are stuck in this town  with their nightmares roaming around them  when stu spots monkey bone  whom he really cant stand  he tries to keep him under control  making a new friend kitty  rose mcgowan  he learns that if he gets an exit pass from death  he can go back up and live his life  when monkey bone and stu steal a pass  monkey bone becomes a trader and takes it and goes into stus body  now monkey bone must get everyone to buy these dolls with nightmare powder  so everyone has nightmares    or something like that  rather complex  in fact more than it needs to be   monkey bone  had potential in the script and even the story  what is considerably noticeable is the gaping plot holes  and lack of character development  for instance we really dont get to know who stu or julie are  so why should we even care  kitty played well by rose mcgowan ha a story behind her  but we are not given a chance to know her  the cast is decent however  brendan fraser seems to be enjoying himself in the role as stu miley  but becomes awfully annoying when monkey bone takes over his body  bridget fonda is dreary and seems to bring the film to a screeching halt  her performance is bad and she seems miscast  dave foley isnt given enough to do  as well as  will  graces  megan mullally who can be funny  the standout performance is the voice of nick turturro as monkey bone himself  he is very funny and entertaining and really keeps the film from being a total bust  the special effects of  monkey bone  is what might really bring in some curious viewers  these special effects are highly effective  and nice to look at with the eyes  some of them are believable and some unbelievable    for monkey bone he seems to be like stuart little  you really dont realize that he is animated    but on occasion it sneaks up on you  the direction by henry selick is good  but at times he doesnt know what kind of film he wants to make  and the ending climax falls off the cliff  its too bad really   monkey bone  could have been a real good movie  but with its heavily done hack job  and lack of character development it just sinks when the end credits role  for those curious however  it might be worth the rental  but other than that avoid this one  
neg	numerous comparisons can be made with this movie to past scifi  suspense thrillers  soldier is a multi  crossbreed between the likes of terminator  aliens and offspring  the problem with such mixed genes is that the final product is a real mongrel  not well made and should have been put down before production got off the ground  besides this  the action is mediocre when compared to the standard action flicks of this day and age  the fight scenes between jason scott lee and kurt russell seem laboured  slow and sluggish  and could have done with better choreography  russell who is usually a good actor in bgrade action flicks is unusually hampered by his character  sergeant todd  who seems more like a sergeant toad  besides having almost no dialogue  his character appears stunted  zombielike which is in line with his screen persona  but scores little points of empathy with the audience  this movie has not made me change my opinion about director paul anderson  whose last epic event horizon has left an unusually bitter taste in my mouth  although this movie does not come anywhere close to the strangeness of former  it is still a long way from anything considered desirable  
neg	a documentary from the twin hughes brothers  allen and albert  dead presidents  menace ii society   about street pimps  all of whom are africanamerican  an offscreen interviewer questions them about their lives and profession  it is mostly the pimps who do the talking for their hos  and the egotistical and flamboyant way you would expect them to be  is what you get  i learned that the word  bitch  is their favorite word  as it seemed to crop up in every sentence they used  it makes for a film with no surprises or nothing fresh to say  but if one has a sense a humor for what their lifestyle is about  then some of what they rap about might seem amusing  they seem to all want to be thought of as businessmen  in the business because it is the easiest way for them to make big money  its also a power trip  accomplished by manipulating the girls to work for them  mostly by humiliating them and keeping them in place  this sleazy pic  soon became grating and wore out its welcome to my unreceptive ears  these verbose pimps had a smart answer for everything and never knew when to shut their face  the hughes brothers used as their pimp role models  the featherhatted  furcoated  diamond ringwearing  gold chain wearing  flashy cadillaccruising pimp of the late 70s blaxploitation movieslike the mack and willie dynamite  also used as reference  was iceberg slims bestseller pimp  the story of my life  we meet pimps such as  fillmore slim  cnote  charm  kred  gorgeous dre  bishop don magic juan  and rosebudd  they readily discuss their business arrangements  including percentages  lifestyles  knockin  stealing another pimps ho   and the thrill they get from women giving them money  these dudes needed no prompting to talk  as they just love to brag about about themselves   priests need nuns   yaps cnote  a san francisco pimp   doctors need nurses  so hos need pimps   as he tries to persuasively make the same case all the other pimps in the film make  that the girls need them to show them the ropes  how to make money  to be their security blankets  protectors  and counselors  the race issue was brought up right from the films onset  as a number of white interviewees  regular citizens  note that their impression of a pimp  is that hes the lowest form of human  while  we are told  in the black community  the pimp is looked upon as a successful entrepenaur  riding around in fancy cars  flashing wads of money  dressed in a flamboyant style  where his snakegaiter shoes might cost him a grand  and where he boasts hollywood style status in the community  we also see that the black pimps have a number of white girls in their stable and we see how they treat them like dirt  as the film implies that this could be payback for the days of slavery  of master and slave relations  the film was all about pimp style and their projected image  as they run a hardsell riff about the virtues of their work  there are different styles of pimping  but the film mentions them only as being  macks  and  players  or  real pimps  and  perpetrator pimps   but no further clarity is attempted  it is also failed to get the womens side to this story of abuse  primarily taking the pimp at his word  the film could never get to the core of what makes the pimp think in such a perverted way as he does  as the filmmakers were taking for a ride by the pimps  who were looking only to pose in front of the camera and say their thing  hungry for their 15minutes of fame  the only laughs i got out of this bleak look at an american subculture  was hearing how a few pimps retired and what they are now up to  danny brown became a blues singer so he could keep his pimps wardrobe  while a hollywood pimp called rosebudd  married his ho and turned square  working to support his wife and daughter as a telemarketer  
neg	gord brody  tom green  is an aspiring animator approaching thirty who still lives in parents jim  rip torn  and julies  julie hagerty   airplane   basement  as dad declares all out war  gord secures a job in a cheese sandwich factory in far off la and sets off to make his dreams come true  gord doesnt make much of a go on his first attempt and lands back home with fawning mom and outraged dad in  freddy got fingered   tom green cowrites  with  tom green show  scribe derek harvie   directs and stars in what is essentially tom greens primal scream  so  if tom green screams in an empty theater  does he make a sound  its clear that  freddy got fingered  is at least partially autobiographical and green sure has one hell of a complex about his dad  mom gets off easier when sonny boy advises her to go out and have sex with basketball players and greeks   while this may be of interest to his hard core fans  theres little about greens mania on display here to recommend this movie to anyone else  the film starts promisingly enough  with a well executed skateboarding scene through a shopping mall set to the sex pistols problem  greens put together a first rate soundtrack  and yes  i laughed a few times  greens flummoxing of a security guard with psychotic ramblings and his attempt to draw  make music and eat at the same time  the daddy would you like some sausages scene repeatedly shown in the films trailer  are inspired comedy  but whats funny about a paraplegic girlfriend who gets turned on by having her legs caned or a skateboarding injury that results in an exposed kneecap  a baby delivery bit shows some groaninducing promise until enough blood is splattered to coagulate the laughs  younger  by three years  brother freddys internment at the institute for sexually abused children does nothing but confirm ones worst fears regarding the films title and greens infamous handling of a real horse  while not nearly as shocking as it would seem  doesnt make sense  by the time he repeats the gag with an elephant at films end  the overall effect is numbness  while  freddy got fingered  has the admirable end result of depicting the harm in demeaning a childs self esteem  its essentially a whole lot of tom green running around being noisy  rip torn  what were you thinking  
neg	much ado about nothing  ah  how sweet the irony  its accepted wisdom in some circles  among english literature nuts  mainly  that whenever a critic knocks shakespeare they are only doing so through ignorance  he just doesnt  understand  shakespeare  you will hear them say  the bards work is apparently beyond criticism  what a load of old cobblers  if these arbiters of public taste think kenneth branaughs film of shakespeares  comedy  much ado about nothing is comedy in any modern sense of the word  its time to get a life  get monty python  get woody allen  get john waters  whatever  just get a real taste of some clever  witty  risky comedy  and banish this nonsense to where it belongs  drama and tragedy was shakespeares strength  to my sensibilities  and im no stick in the mud  much ado about nothing resonates with no spark whatsoever  no kidding  this film ranks among the most embarrassing two hours i have ever spent in a cinema in my 20 years of movie going  the only thing that stopped me walking out was loyalty to my lady friend  as this was our day out and i hadnt seen her in ages  but boy  does she owe me one  i wont spend too much time on the plot  basically  we follow the trials and tribulations of two wouldbe couples  one young  the other older  theres some dark treachery amongst all this  but everyone is so awfully jolly that youd hardly know it  mind you  theres nothing wrong with the basic story  good romantic comedies based on similar premises abound  nothing wrong with most of the cast  either  branaugh  emma thompson and denzel washington are all talented performers  the problem is the script  or more accurately  shakespeares original text  light comedy shouldnt be complex  yet wrapped in elizabethan english  the dialogue becomes difficult to comprehend  for this alone it will be a problem for modern audiences unschooled in shakespeare and in search of nothing more than a good  undemanding laugh  the only laughs to escape my belly were brought on by the gloriously inept performance of keanu reeves  the actor once again miscast as a jealous halfbrother or something  but when dissected and understood  what it all boils down to is that this stuff is just so goddamn lame  this is comedy so clean and nice and corny and so devoid of danger that it leaves this viewer totally cold  ho  ho  ho  boy likes girl  ho  ho  ho  men are such klutzes  ho  ho  ho  shes so awfully clumsy  oh please  theres wit in here somewhere  im told  i call it pretentious  something lightweight striving to be something sophisticated through clever wordplay  in the end  its cringeworthy  watching some of the cinema patrons around me collapse with laughter made much ado about nothing a very weird movie going experience  comedy  bah  humbug  
neg	another formula feel good quirky comedy from the british isles  much like  waking ned devine   and a host of other popular low budget movies that turned a nifty profit off a thin story line  it is filled with likable establishment types living in a quaint town  such as tolerant vicars and policemen  plenty of eccentrics  and of locals who stick together through thick and thin  the strength of this film lies in its rational theme  that smoking pot should be legalized since it is even less dangerous than drinking alcohol  the film is tolerable until after its first hour  it then falls completely apart  becoming just too absurd to consider as anything but sitcom fluff gone completely bananas  but its long overdue message of decriminalization for certain drugs is on target and allows the film to  at least  be viewed as containing a pertinent message  its message is especially appropriate nowadays considering the war on drugs is about to be escalated into colombia  the drug war has been a total failure so far and with no hope of it being won by law enforcement methods in the future  it has so far just ended up causing americas jails to be overcrowded with nonviolent drug prisoners and offers zero hope of curtailing americas drug usage and drug supply  billions of dollars have just been allocated by congress to get officially involved in the colombian civil war  by backing a corrupt government  remember vietnam   with the idea that military might could stop the cocaine and marijuana harvests in that country  everything about this proposed action smacks of vietnam  with this scenario closer to home  so what probably awaits such an effort is a more futile result than the other war  the films mild theme of showing squares getting into the weed business and finding it acceptable by the public  something that should have been accepted some 40 years ago  is a theme long overdue for public acceptance  but one that is better received late than never  there has to be some common sense in distinguishing what drugs should be legalized and how to educate the public on this  rather than making it a police matter altogether  the film opens in a quaint cornish seaside village at the funeral of the husband of a middleaged woman  grace  brenda blethyn   who fell out of an airplane  evidently committing suicide  the widow soon finds out her husband was a bigger bastard than she imagined  he left her with a stack of enormous bills and put up  without her knowledge  their comfortable 300 year old house as collateral for a failed business venture by taking out a second mortgage  the widow finds herself bankrupt and with no marketable skills to pay back her husbands enormous debts and prevent her from losing the house and becoming homeless  she also knows that he was having an affair with a sophisticated woman from london  honey  quick   what makes the affair doubly unsatisfying  is that when conferring with honey  she finds out that he was a tiger with her in bed but refrained from having sex with her  even though the locals try to help the bankrupt widow out as best they can  the creditors swoop down on her like vultures  her gardener and handyman  matthew  ferguson   decides to stay on with her  despite his last check bouncing  since she is an expert amateur horticulturist  he convinces her to help him revive his hemp plants  which he grows for private use  the two soon see this as a possibly big business opportunity  as grace works miracles with the plants which turn out to be highquality stuff  for grace  this is a way to save her house and get her out of debt  for the scotsman  matthew  it offers a chance for him to continue to live in this beautiful village and earn enough money to marry his fisherman girlfriend nicky  valerie   the locals all let the illegal activities go on undisturbed  the police sergeant  campbell  pretends not to notice what the bright lights in graces greenhouse is for  the friendly vicar  phillips  counsels about the wisdom of not taking action over something that you cant control  and the doctor  clunes  enjoys smoking the weed for recreation  the story becomes incredulous when grace decides to go to london and score with a bigtime drug dealer instead of having matthew go  because she finds out nicky is pregnant and doesnt want matthew to end up in jail  it is interesting to note  that no one thinks smoking grass is bad for you  only that one can go to jail  the scene with grace on portobello road in the notting hill section of london  trying to find a drug dealer  while dressed out of place  in a white dress and hat one would wear to a tea party in cornwall but not on the streets of notting hill while looking to make a drug deal  was completely hokey and the film descended into a huge black hole  whereby it never recovered its dignity  the film moves into the formula mode  whereas grace beats the odds against her failing to survive  as she meets an international drug dealer  a frenchman  tcheky karyo   who is first seen threatening to cut off her fingers but later becomes her business partner and husband as she becomes a millionaire and writes a best selling fiction book about her experiences  thereby becoming a celebrity  things work out in a ridiculous way  where there is a total breakdown in the character development of grace  where this matronly figure suddenly becomes merely a cartoon figure instead of live flesh and blood  there are a lot of silly giggles that come forth and the film has just enough of an acting performance by brenda blethyn to breathe air into it before it comes to its belated finale  as it drones on with its transparently gratuitous upbeat tone  until it makes the audience feel good that the sweet old lady succeeded  this unhip film leaves one with the impression that smoking and growing pot is silly  but should be tolerated as something naughty middleaged widows screwed by their terrible former husbands must do in order not to remain destitute  ummm  
neg	 love to kill  starts off aimlessly and gets progressively less coherent as time passes  at the outset  the movie appears to be about tony danza  whos an illegal distributor of guns  trying to establish a relationship with an unsuspecting woman  danza sets up a double date with her  her sister  and a collegue of his  everything seems to be going well  until the sister accidentally dies by falling down a set of stairs  much confusion and mahem ensues  as the death is covered up and other associates of danzas begin to emerge  all after one thing or another  sound confusing  it is  i think what the filmmakers were trying to do is take the standard crime movie and throw in a little humour and levity  in some respects  it works  but the majority of the film is a convoluted and confusing mess  characters keep popping up with no explanation  demanding money for deals that occur offscreen  the only aspect of the movie that actually works is the budding relationship between danza and the dead womans sister  but so little time is devoted to this part of the story  we never really become too familiar with these characters  and because of this  we dont really care what happens to them  well  i didnt  at least  one thing i will give the movie is that its a complete departure for tony danza  heres a guy  because of his many sitcom roles  whos ingrained in the consciousness as a nice guy who always does the right thing  here  he plays a man whos just looking out for himself  and if that means he needs to kill in order to save his own skin  so be it  i was very impressed by his performance  and within minutes of the start of the film  i had forgotten all about his goodguy persona  michael madsen is also good as an associate of danzas who spends half the movie buddying up to him and the other half trying to kill him  like i said  its not exactly a linear storyline   love to kill  should be praised for trying to do something different with the well worn crime genre  but its just too bad that the story doesnt really add up to much  the stars deserved better  and so did the audience  
neg	whether you like the beatles or not  nobody wants to see the bee gees take on some of the fab fours best known songs  well  maybe thats not true    maybe youre curious  the way you have to look in your hanky after you blow your nose  you just have to know how bad bad can be  if thats the case  rejoice  because it was twenty years ago today  or so  that sgt  peppers lonely hearts club band was released  unleashed   to the world  and thanks to our modern technological advances  you can find this retched piece of filmmaking on vhs  derived from the lyrics of various beatles songs  sgt  peppers tells the story of the fictitious band made popular from the song  and album  of the same name  released in 1967  of course  the movie was made eleven years later  the gibbs three have become the lonely hearts  peter frampton is the one and only billy shears  and aside from being about a rock band  the story doesnt correlate to the song at all  and oh  what joy  were the lovely audience theyd like to take home with them  i dont think so  but at least these characters are actually  people  in a beatles song  whereas other characters such as strawberry fields  sandy farina  gets her name from a song about a  place  called strawberry fields  the debate over this is really quite futile when it comes down to it  because all the film really has to offer is a feast of horrid cover tunes  embarrassing cameo appearances  george burns   steve martin    alice cooper       and uuuuuuggggggglllllllyyyyy 70s fashion and faces  check please  the plot is a bit unclear  people with bad 70s hair run around in leisure suits engaging in music video sequences that look like a sick and twisted world of makebelieve from an overly demented mr  rogers  mean mr  mustard  frankie howerd  somehow gets hold of all billy  co  s instruments  calling dr  maxwell edison  steve martin with a silver hammer and an outofkey singing voice   the sun king  marvin sunk  alice cooper    and a couple of creepy robots to his aid  supposedly this is a horrible thing  i guess in heartland  the talent is pretty nonexistent  meanwhile  the lonely hearts are off doing the classic  sex  drugs  and rock n roll  thing  leaving poor strawberry fields without her true love  billy  she sets out to find him  leaving her poor dad and mom  mrs  fields  hey  wanna cookie   all alone to sing a horrible rendition of  shes leaving home   accompanied by those same creepy robots  but is billy getting it on with lucy  dianne steinberg   ya know  the diamond possessing girl who hangs out in the sky  well  theres some crazy chick singing soprano on the roof of a building next to a bus stop  and i assume thats who it was  its movies like this that make ya sit back and ask the unanswerable question   what the hell were they thinking     nobody will ever know  but as a novelty  sgt  peppers is one to examine  carol channing  robert palmer  keith carradine  theyre all here  but why     who knows  its irrelevant  theres as much meaning to be found here as there is to be found in your bellybutton lint  although the latter may be more interesting  with the recent onslaught of 70s nostalgia in the movie world  the ice storm  boogie nights  reissues of the star wars trilogy  etc    lets pray this doesnt get a special 20th anniversary  secondchance in theaters  in the words of paul mccartney  live and let die  in fact  bury this one while you still can  
neg	warning  spoilers are included in this review    but it doesnt really make much of a difference  deep impact begins the official summer movie season  and it also brings back memories of 1997  remember when dantes peak came out in february  a few months later  volcano was released  the first film was smart  exhilirating  and one of the best disaster films i had ever seen  the latter film was an incohesive mess that defied logic and wasted talent  well  its deja vu all over again as two disaster films go head to head in competition  this time  unfortunately  the first comet flick is so bad that people may shy away from armageddon  the upcoming cometdisaster to be released the beginning of july  of course  the general reaction of the audience was oppposed to mine  and so i am in the minority  as i was when i stood on the side of dantes peak  but while watching deep impact  i began to wonder how anyone in their right mind could actually like this film  apparently many did  and it utterly baffles me  to be completely honest  i havent had this little fun watching a disaster film in my entire life  volcano had implausibilities up the wazoo  but it was still rather fun to watch  deep impact doesnt just have implausibilities  it also contains cheap human drama  incredibly horrible special effects  and a poorly constructed plot  the only thing that gives it a half star above my bottom ranking is a slightly entertaining final fifteen minutes and some good actors making the most of their characters  deep impact begins in an unnamed year  the year varies  advanced technology sets it in the future  but fire in the sky is showing on a local movie theater  pushing it back to 1993   a line of students is outside at night  peering through telescopes at the dark sky above  among these are leo biederman  elijah wood  and sarah hotchner  leelee sobieski   leo unknowingly discovers a comet  and his teacher sends a photo of the unknown object to an astronomer  who then is able to determine the correct path of this distant comet in about a few seconds  he races off to mail the information  but is killed in a reckless car accident  a year passes  and nothing is heard about it again  we are then introduced to jenny lerner  t  a leoni   a reporter for msnbc  she gets handed a job to investigate a possible coverup in the government involving senator alan rittenhouse  james cromwell   she talks to a woman who mentions that rittenhouse was having an affair with a girl named ellie  after talking with rittenhouse  and unsatisfied with the information she gets  she decides to use the internet for help  luckily  she knows exactly how to spell the certain  ellie  that she is looking for  they spell it ele in the film    that girl is pretty darn smart for guessing how it was spelled   before she can use the information  the government decides to push her car off the road  they take her in to meet the president of the united states  president beck  morgan freeman   beck recommends that jenny keep the information secret for 48 hours so they can confirm it and then hold a press conference  naturally  she wants to be compensated  and they offer her a front row seat and the chance for the first question  and so  yada yada yada  they reveal the comet to the public and their plans  send a massive spacecraft out to destroy it before it can arrive  they announce a plan called  ark   which is their only hope for survival  a computer will select 800  000 people at random  these people are the ones who will go into a large cave underground so that the impact of the comet wont kill off the entire human race  after two years  the dust will settle  actually  it would take much  much longerapproximately ninety years  from what i understand  and the humans could come back to the surface and start over  the rest of the plot is your standard disaster film procedures  but there is one subplot worth mentioning  jenny and her father  jason  maximilian schell   have a very touching relationship that forms out of the impending doom  the final moment involving the two characters is heartfelt and emotional  its a shame that nothing else is heartfelt  now  of course  we all know that the comet does impact the surface  the title alone suggests it  and the previews actually show it  by doing this  absoltuely no tension can be drawn from any attempt to stop the comet because we all know that it wont work  director mimi leder came from her successful tries at direction with episodes of the hit television show  er   her major film debut was the peacemaker  a pathetic and heartless action film  well  this time leder outdid herself  creating a film worse than that one  suggestion to ms  leder  please  stay away from the big screen  or at least the action genre  much of the blame can be placed on leder directly  because the pace is disastrously off  throughout the film we are given subtitles that tell us how much time has passed  it goes from months to weeks to hours   it literally feels like this lapsed time is taking place in realtimeits that boring  of course  leder isnt all to blame for it  screenwriters michael tolkin and bruce joel rubin have crafted a simplistic story that only gets worse with time  what starts out promising soon turns deadly  for the audience anyway   chock full of cheesy one liners   you know  you are going to have more sex than anyone else in school    and stupid characters  you might think we were back in the 70s again  only one of the subplots is remotely interesting  while the rest are forgettable and boring  and the main plot is so outrageous that you cant figure out if this film is supposed to be an action  drama  or scifi  to put it simply  the special effects of this film are a hit and miss situation  thats right  80 miss  and 20 hit  scenes above the earth are well done  and the orbiting ship is majestic  but the comet is a huge mistake  making it more laughable than frightening  the concept of even trying to land on a comet is preposterous enough  but thats forgiveable  what isnt forgiveable is actually having humans walk on the surface  give me a break  will ya  and of course  the much hyped collision of comet and earth  well  it is far from spectacular  and it makes independence day look brilliant  the water rushing towards the land is effective  but once it hits the continent  the effects turn ridiculous  cgi water is used  and it looks so bad that i heard more laughs from the audience than shrieks  in fact  i may even recommend the film for those who want to see how bad effects can actually get these days  just when we think visual effects cant be improved  along comes a film to show that they really can and should be  one thing has struck a wrong note with me concerning mimi leders direction  which also influences the actors  leder loves to show the actors faces before and during moments of terror  this reminded me of another action director  renny harlin  die hard 2  cliffhanger   but harlin succeeds because he shows the faces of the victims in realistic situations  leder likes to flaunt peoples fears via their faces  but instead of coming off as sympathetic  leder seems more of a sadist  one moment has an astronaut flying off into space  this should be enough to warrant a response from the audience  but leder wants to go farther and shows us the persons face while drifting into space  this is one of the cheapest ways to ellicit an emotional response from an audience  and i  for one  am not going to be fooled  on another note  leders film only picks up its pace during the last fifteen minutes when the comet actually impacts  the pace does pick up  and some very emotional moments are shown  then again  when you watch people cry for their loved ones  its obvious it will be emotional  its mostly just a big trick to rope viewers into  feeling  for the characters  but it didnt work for me  but anyway  the actors do as much as they can with what they are given  t  a leoni  bad boys  tvs  the naked truth   is the best of the film  and she is given the meatiest role  her character is made stronger by leonis presence  and we grow to care for her  robert duvall is energetic and fun to watch  but his character is turned into shreds by the plot  elijah wood also comes off rather successfully  but he still hasnt had many good roles  wood  stick to drama  you are too talented for this stuff   vanessa redgrave is barely acknowledgeable  and her performance is only enhanced by her strong presence on screen  maximilian schell is distracting  but he does provide some nice humor  morgan freeman has been infinitely better than this  and gives one of his most shallow performances to date  which is quite remarkable for him   leelee sobieski could have been better  but i think she just suffered from a poorly written character  a special note should go to ron eldard and denise crosby  eldard is good in his role  but is limited by the plot  crosby is special to me personally because she was tasha yar from tvs  star trek  the next generation   seeing her was one of the highlights of the film  overall  a very talented cast virtually wasted  deep impact is rated pg13 for disaster related elements and brief language  this is one of the worst films of the year  and if it is any omen of things to come  this summer could be one of the worst ever  luckily  the xfiles movie is coming up  and hopefully armageddon will be more successful  its a shame that this film will do so successfully because it just isnt worth much  costing nearly 75 million  with special effects done by the illustrious ilm  which is a huge shocker   and with a score composed by oscarwinner james horner  titanic   one might have expected this to be more fun to witness and experience  well  its not  when the comet does hit the earth  you almost wish it could just take this film along with it  
neg	my first press screening of 1998 and already ive gotten a prime candidate for my worst ten of the year list  what an auspicious beginning  welcome to the dog days of winter when the only film openings of merit are those oscar contenders that the studios opened in late december in new york and l  a  and which are just now beginning to appear elsewhere  firestorm  the directorial debut of dances with wolvess academy award winning cinematographer dean semler  is the first of the new years crop of movies  as our story opens  the movie pretentiously informs us that of the tens of thousands of firefighters only 400 are  smokejumpers   we then cut to a plane load of smoke jumping cowboys and one cowgirl  where one of the gungho guys is taking a romance quiz from  cosmopolitan   having the time of their lives  they then jump into the middle of a burning forest  when  even in the beginning  the director cant get the small parts right  you can sense the movie is in trouble  with the noisy fire roaring all about them and with the trapped people huddled near their gasolinefilled cars  smokejumper monica  christianne hirt  tells them to get away from their soontoexplode vehicles  not bothering to shout nor even get close to them  she announces her warning without raising her voice much or approaching the people  miraculously  they manage to hear her and move away  in a movie that specializes in cheap shots  the camera locates the proverbial young girl trapped in a nearby burning building  as it does throughout  overly dramatic cinematographer stephen f  windon from the postman uses extremely fast zooms right down to the endangered girls face  our shows two heroes  the crews chief  wynt perkins  played laconically by scott glenn  and his secondincommand  jesse graves  played by howie long in a weak attempt to be the next steven seagal  enter the burning house looking for the little girl  in a panic they have difficulty in locating her before they are engulfed in flames  the manipulative script has her hidden in her own dollhouse  this mawkish show cuts back to monica  who has a lifeordeath decision to make  the chopper with the fireretardant chemicals has only enough to save one group  will it be the large group near the cars or the helpless little girl and monicas two firefighting buddies  she has only seconds to decide who will be saved  yes  she goes for the majority  but  miracle of miracles  the other three come out alive anyway  not content with a traditional firefighting story  chris soths screenplay attempts to jazz it up by having william forsythe from palookaville play a vicious killer named randy earl shaye who sets a forest fire so that he can join the crew to put it out and then escape    hoods in the woods   is what the  groundpounders  yell out when the convicts are bused in to help them fight the fire   along the way  shaye picks up an ornithologist hostage played by suzy amis  who turns out to have been trained in warrior ways by her father  who was a marine drill instructor  most of the highly predictable movie is a long chase in which poor howie long is given one ridiculous stunt after another to look silly performing  he flings a chain saw backwards over his head while riding a speeding motorcycle so that the saw can hit the windshield of the pursuing truck  arguably the low point is when he escapes from a locked burning building by riding a motorcycle conveniently parked inside  using a ramp  he shoots straight out of the top of the buildings attic  and when he hits the ground  he just rides off in a cloud of dust  when the film isnt using some stock footage of actual forest fires  the simulated ones look hokey  editor jack hofstra cheapens the action even more by his use of burning flames in scene transitions  the ending  with its sick twists  manages to be even worse than the rest of the movie  perhaps the best that can be said for the picture is the faint praise i heard afterwards in the lobby   its not as bad as some of the television sitcoms   firestorm runs mercifully just 1  29  it is rated r for violence and language and would be acceptable for teenagers  
neg	ever since wargames  the first real computer hacking movie  hollywood has attempted to produce more and more films about hacking  these films usually show the audience a look into computers that really is not impossible and is usually ridiculous  if its not this  the exaggeration about what is real is usually greater than you would expect  hackers is guilty of all of these crimes  to anyone familiar with computers andor the internet  most of the movie is so incredibly stupid that you cant take it anymore  those of you who frequent one of the greatest sites on the world wide web  the internet movie database  are probably aware of the section for movies entitled  goofs   this is the section for mistakes in the movies  well  imdb sums up hackers extremely well with the first goof listed   generally illinformed and ridiculous to the extreme regarding the capabilities of computers and technology   and truthfully  this is onehundred percent correct  the plot  obviously  centers around computer hacking  more specifically  it follows the exploits of dade murphy  a young computer hacker played by jonny lee miller  miller should be extremely thankful for the film trainspotting  because if it were not for that  who knows where his career would be now after hackers  the film opens with a young dade murphy being arrested for hacking computer systems  he was forbidden to use a computer until he turned eighteen years old  the film then picks up at that point  an eighteen year old dade murphy hacking away at the computer  dade later meets up with fellow hackers acid burn  angelina jolie   cereal killer  matthew lillard   lord nikon  laurence mason   and the phantom phreak  renoly santiago   who are basically trying to do what is next to impossible  hack the gibson computer and not get caught by the fbi  oh  and as a little subplot  dade also tries to woo acid burn  the only female hacker in the film  really  i cant think of much more to say about the films plot aside from what ive said  its just a bunch of computer geeks  no  obsessive compulsive computer geeks a little too advanced for reality  running around hacking computers and staying away from the fbi  thanks to this movie  the public unfamiliar with computers now has a distorted viewpoint of computers and what they can do  this movie makes computers look a little bit too advanced for their time  and the frivolous suggestions it makes are too many to list  to sum it up  hackers is a terrible computer film  if youre looking for a film about computers closer to what goes on in the real world  i suggest sneakers  although at times it too may seem a little far fetched  it should be much more believable than hackers to regular computer users  hopefully  this film didnt influence too many young computer users out to think they can do what is portrayed in this 105 minute waste of time  
neg	if theres one thing i just cant stand  its a film that oozes with sentimentality  heres a note to all film makers  films are more effective when the emotions of the characters speak for themselves  swelling  saddening music is not a good way to tell us that the people in the film are unhappy  and that the situation is hopeless  alas  my giant is a film that uses manipulative sentimentality so frequently and with such high intensity that i forgot as i watched it that there are other ways of getting audience members choked up  what reminded me was that i wasnt choked up  or even the slightest bit moved  for that matter  my giant is a forced  contrived  and conspicuously uncute  i detest the word  cute  but ive chosen to use it because the makers clearly wanted to create a  cute  film here   it takes a premise that might have been interesting  i liked the preview   and bogs it down with endless plot turns and cliches  all of which are intended to get some kind of easy emotional rise from the audience  maybe it will work for some people  it didnt work for me  billy crystal plays sam cayman  an agent who  at the beginning of the film  is in romania  hes in romania because the kid actor he made famous is doing a film  the screenplay has him in romania so he can get fired  get in a car accident  and get saved by an enormous individual who stands almost eight feet tall  his name is max  gheorghe muresan   and sam thinks hed be a great movie star because of his size  subplots are as follows  sam has a son and a wife  kathleen quinlan   and hes never around for them  so they move to chicago  max is in love with a woman named lilianna who moved away from romania twenty years before the film begins  sam convinces max to go back to america with him so they can make lots of money  and so their various subplots can all be resolved  sam is broke  max is dying  pass the kleenex  my giant  as a comedy  is only moderately funny  it has its moments  the best of which features steven seagal making fun of himself  in one great scene  sam gets his son on the phone to talk to seagal  of course  his son doesnt believe that hes actually speaking to seagal  and he goes off about how bad of an actor he is  i would quote the line i like but it would probably lose its effect   crystal is always entertaining  and he has a few good lines here  some of which are subtle throwaways that many will miss entirely   often  however  hes countered by a slew of jokes that arent funny  and cause an involuntary rolling of the eyes  muresan is kind of fun to watch  but he just cant act very well  quinlan  on the other hand  is a great actress who needs to get a role that shows off her talents  she was underused last year in both event horizon and breakdown  but at least in those films she had moments in which she could show us her stuff  here  the best thing she gets to do is fake a romanian accent  all of these disappointing ingredients create a film that  for much of its running time  is simply mediocre  as my giant lumbers to its inevitable conclusion  however  director michael lehmann  who did a great job directing the underrated hudson hawk  and scriptwriter david seltzer pile on every cliche imaginable  each one intended specifically to pull at our heartstrings  sams multiple engagements with his family are all completely hackneyed  how about a main character who has a healthy relationship with his family    later  it turns out the entire story is supposed to be a great big metaphor signifying sams reunion with his family  and some people might think that what sam does for max towards the end is a valiant thing  but i had a few morality problems with it  and i apologize for being vague   its icky  it drips with gooey  wannabe human emotions  my giant could have been a straightforward and funny family film  more importantly  it could have been moving on a level far deeper than it is  instead  its a complicated  overlong  and underengaging film that elicits too few laughs and strives for superficial tears  and since it left me feeling completely unmoved  i stand by my position that sentimentality is evil and will ultimately destroy the world  
neg	this is not a simple plan about finding a plane load of money and getting away with the cash  this is more about a parable of greed  and how money can become the bane of your life  yes  there are elements of  fargo here  the snow and cold   although not as vivid in the blood and gore department  it shows how greed can set of a chain of events leading to death and the destruction of lives  and how at the end of the day  the things that matter most are love  truth and honesty  although in one sense it may seem tedious  making a movie about the ugliness of greed  not box office material   it does become tedious  not because of the morale ending  but because one expects the movie to end that way  this becomes apparent after the first murder to cover up the crime  the rest of the movie just spirals downward from there  the characters in this drama are a mixture of simple and intellectual folk  brothers and friends  who all fall prey to the avarice of money  they should have perhaps thrown in someone sensible  level headed and not affected by greed to give the party more balance  commendable is the exceptional performance of billy bob thornton  whose portrayal of the simpleton brother was masterful  bill paxton also gives a powerful performance as the greedier younger brother  whilst bridget fonda is convincing as the greediest wife  who indirectly causes the most problems  fill a room full of greedy people and several million dollars  and you will end up with a simple recipe for a blood bath  its not a simple plan  when you shoot everyone you love for money  unless youre the menendez brothers  
neg	based on the 1960s tv series that i had never seen or heard of before this movie  be happy  i wont bore you with any lame and unnecessary comparisons   this film allows will smith to take a third stab at the independence day weekend boxoffice  after scoring huge successes with men in black  710   directed by the same man who controlled this one  and independence day  610   can you say    the third times not a charm  plot  james west and artemus gordon are chosen by the president to find the man responsible for the kidnapping of the nations top scientists  and threatening to take over the united states within a week  critique  i did not laugh once during this entire picture  when you consider that this film is a partcomedy  thats not a very good sign  i also did not tense up or particularly enjoy any of its unenergetic action sequences which provided me with little more than a few minutes time to think back to the lovely salma hayek scenes  when you consider that the other  part  of this film is geared as an actionadventure  i would say that this another negative sign  and when you consider that the first hour of the film was boring and a little slow  the storyline tired  reminiscent of swiss cheese and uninvolving  and the special effects interesting but worth very little inside a plot filled with lame oneliners  weak characterizations and an anticlimactic end  you pretty much have the gist of my impression of this  big  summer blockbuster  it blows  or as they say in french   eet blows   could it be that the script was crappy because it took four people to write it  maybe  could it be that most of the special effects dont show up until the last half hour  and even then  we dont see anything that its trailers hadnt already given away  perhaps  or could it be that we have come to expect so much more from will smith and hollywood bigbudget movies  that we cannot help but evaluate them on a scale onto their own  naaaaaaah  a bad movie is a bad movie  on a positive note  i could honestly say that i did very much enjoy the lovely performance by the adorable salma hayek  who seemed underused  in my humble opinion   and lit up every bubbly scene that she was hardly in  branagh was also fun as the scenerymunching  overthetop bad guy  but thats pretty much where the entertainmentbuck stopped  smith and kline were static at best  the plot full of holes  and the score insignificant and derivative of a dozen others  i would strongly advise anyone not to see this movie  then again  there is that one scene with the lovely salma hayek tied up in a cage    huh    oh yeah  but the rest of the movie sucked  little known facts about this film and its stars  will smith has starred in two of the ten alltime top grossing films worldwide  1997s summer blockbuster men in black  710   for which he also recorded the grammywinning title song  and 1996s independence day  610   he once turned down a scholarship to mit to pursue his singing career  kevin kline is a graduate of the juilliard school of drama  and has been married to the cuteasabutton actress phoebe cates since 1989  they have two kids together  greta simone and owen  one of the buildings that gets blown up in this film has  kasdan  written on it  lawrence kasdan is a director known to have worked with kevin on five of his movies  including the big chill  silverado  i love you to death  grand canyon and french kiss  salma hayek gave up a successful career as a major television star in latin america and moved to the united states to start over  even though she spoke no english  she made her feature film debut as an actress with a small role in allison anders mi vida loca  no  not the rickie martin video   and played her first starring role in robert rodriguezs desperado opposite antonio banderas  since then  she has made an appearance in each one of rodriguezs films  she stands 52   was born in southeast mexico  and the daughter of a lebanese father and a mexican mother  one of the actresses cast as branaghs lovely but lethal beauties includes bail ling  a stage and screen star in her native china who was last seen starring opposite dick gere in red corner  710   another is dutchborn frederique van der wal  who is one of the worlds most recognized supermodels  having graced the cover of cosmopolitan numerous times  as well as harpers bazaar  vogue and mademoiselle  
neg	in the line of duty is the critically praised series of television movies dealing with the reallife incidents that claimed lives of law enforcement officers in usa  the twilight murders  another one from the series  is dealing with the case of gordon kahl  played by rod steiger   old farmer from north dakota who would rather spend a year in prison than pay taxes to the despised u  s  government  after being released  he still refuses to pay taxes and the warrant is issued for his arrest  when the u  s  marshals come to arrest him  it turns out that kahl isnt alone  many poor farmers in rural northwest share his extremist antigovernment beliefs  and the routine operation turns into shootout that would leave federal officers that  that brings fbi on the scene  and agent mayberly  michael gross  is supervising the manhunt  however  his efforts seem fruitless  since kahl still has many supporters  some of them even in the local law enforcement  after betrayed  1988 thriller by costa gavras  hollywood mostly ignored the disturbing trends of rising rightwing extremism in the american northwest  and that remained so until oklahoma city bombing  when media hype brought rightwingers back into spotlight  until that time  only the television movies like this one bothered to pay attention to that phenomenon  unfortunately  the twilight murders is still routine and formulaic television film  that uses sensationalist real life content in order to cover lack of originality in the script  sometimes  like many american tv movies  it creates drama where drama shouldnt be  on the other hand  film is steadily directed by dick lowry  and rod steiger does good job potraying gordon kahl  on the other hand  michael gross as his pursuer is quite wooden and his interaction with some of the actors is terrible  however  film does deal with potentially thoughtprovoking social and political issues  so hour and half spent in front of the screen shouldnt be the total waste of time  
neg	   the following review contains spoilers     its just    the way    we are    a rapist  matt frewer  responds to supergirls  helen slater  query as to why shes being attacked  an example of the mindnumbingly bad dialogue in supergirl  ill admit it    i love superman iii  i know its hated amongst the superman faithful who dismiss it as nothing more than a vehicle for richard pryor  but i still think its a worthy addition to the man of steel franchise  supergirl  a spinoff film of sorts from the series same producers  alexander and ilya salkind   doesnt even rival superman iii in terms of quality  let alone superman or superman ii  supergirl lost me from the opening scenes and went steadily downhill for the rest of its two hour plus running time  as the film begins we see the residents of argo city  a commune like place consisting of refugees from krypton which resides in  inner space   go about their daily lives  ok    what  so these are exiles from krypton  which blew up right  were they living there before krypton exploded  how do you get to  inner space   this whole  inner space  notion is never explained  particularly in terms of how these people get information from the outside world  how do they know where superman went  how do they know he took the name clark kent and now works at the daily planet  these kinds of things frustrate the hell out of me  argo city is kept running by a power source called the omegahedron  one day the founder of argo city  zaltar  peter o toole   gives the omegahedron to supermans cousin  kara  helen slater   for use as inspiration in her art  kara uses it to create a buglike thing which immediately crashes through the layer of  whatever  that protects the city  in the chaos  the omegahedron sails out through the opening  dooming the argonians to death    in three days time  or something  kara then climbs into a pod which zaltar had designed for interdimensional travel and chases after the omegahedron to save her world  the power source travels directly to earth and lands in the bowl of dip belonging to a minorleague witch named selena  faye dunaway  who  immediately before her dip was ruined  announced her desires to rule the world to her sometimes warlock boyfriend nigel  peter cook   selena somehow knows that this ball from the sky will help her with her evil plans  and she sets out to achieve world domination  selena is unaware of course that kara has also arrived on earth  and that shes arrived as supergirl  complete with appropriate costume   supergirl emerges from the bottom of a lake when she arrives  ok    huh  why does the omegahedron fall from the sky but supergirl shoots out of the bottom of a lake  attention movie  explain yourself  im sorry  i can only suspend disbelief so much  i cant buy into any of this nonsense just because the movie wants me to  knowing that she needs a secret identity  supergirl basically  wills  herself into a school girl outfit  complete with a different hairstyle   picks the alias linda lee and enrolls into school  shes given her dorm assignment  and who happens to be her roommate  lois lanes sister  lucy  ok  coincidence is one thing folks  but were getting really contrived now  what follows are some generic allgirls school hijinks    complete with evil bully girls  mean for no reason  of course  and even a shower scene     best moment though comes when supergirl decides to put a bra on over her school uniform and starts stuffing it with socks  at this point im rapidly wondering why im bothering with this nonsense  there is some credit to give to the film however  one lengthy and elaborate sequence featuring an  evil  bulldozer destroying a small town in search of its  prey  is very well done  also  its commendable to see genders reversed in the film  whereas the women have all the power and the men are merely objects and tools  hart bochner  die hard  is particularly fun as karas love interest  a lovesick landscaper who is under a spell cast by selena  although he is unfortunately part of one of the films more ridiculous moments  when he has to be rescued from being tapped by some  menacing  bumper cars   then there were numerous little things that bothered me  the flying effects are never convincing for a moment    its all too obvious that helen slater is hooked to wires  instead of having her look like shes flying  the filmmakers wanted her to be  graceful   so she poses a lot and does ballettype maneuvers  also  who are the first two humans to meet supergirl when she arrives on earth  a pair of truck driversrapists who immediately attack her and then meet a  wacky  demise  there is also some rampant product placement in the film  most notably for popeyes  tylenol  and aw root beer  with the latter actually putting its logo on the tshirt of one of the rapists      finally  just one word  monsters  faye dunaway and peter otoole ham it up unmercifully  however when otoole overacts hes entertaining and when dunaway does it shes annoying  her character actually says the line  seize them   at one point   dunaways henchmen  played by peter cook and brenda vaccaro  fare much better  with vaccaro coming off best as the equivalent of ned beattys otis character from the first two superman movies  helen slater effectively portrays supergirl as the innocent  naive character shes written to be  as shes able to gaze at flowers and bunnies with the right amount of genuine wonder to make it believable  believability aside though  its still annoying  now despite all this negativity  and im not alone here    supergirl is not a well liked nor a well respected movie in many circles   leave it to the good people at anchor bay entertainment to actually make people not only interested  but excited about its release on dvd  they have released two separate editions of the film on dvd  to the delight of many people  including myself    yet im still unclear as to why  since this movie is so awful   the first and most widely available dvd release features the international version of the film which runs 10 minutes longer than the print which ran in u  s  theaters  the movie is presented in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 2  35  1  is enhanced for 16x9 televisions  and has been remastered in full thx glory  extras on the disc include  a full length audio commentary track with director jeannot szwarc and  special project consultant  scott michael bosco  the excellent 50minute documentary from 1984 called supergirlthe making of a feature  dig that workout montage    5 trailers  3 tv spots  talent bios  indepth storyboards  accompanied by score from the movie   and assorted still galleries  the transfer on this international version is incredible    youd think you were watching a new release  images are sharp  colors jump off the screen  and the picture is free of scratches or artifacts  only some special effects sequences show the wear of time  and there just isnt much that can be done about that  unless youre obsessive like george lucas   the new thx approved audio is loud and clear in all the right places  however youll be hearing absurd dialogue and a mediocre jerry goldsmith score  which is completely unrelated to john williams classic superman theme and sounds better suited for a cannon films golanglobus production   the commentary track featuring director szwarc and project consultant bosco is a step in the right direction in the evolution of audio commentaries  bosco seems to be an expert in all things supergirl and is there with szwarc to ensure that theres no dead air on the track  bosco probes szwarc for information on virtually everyone and everything that comes onscreen  and we learn a great deal more about the film as a result of his participation  although  at times you can tell that bosco is looking for a specific response from szwarc  and is surprised when he doesnt get that response  we learn some fascinating tidbits on the track  most notably the  almost  appearance in the film by christopher reeve  great detail is given about supermans proposed role in the original script before reeve  wisely  dropped out  as it stands  superman is written off early on in the film when we hear a radio broadcast mention that he is billions of light years away on some sort of peace mission  for the sake of brevity  i wont even get into that one  szwarc also reveals that is was the conscious decision of the salkinds  and everyone else agreed  that supergirl needed to stand on its own  replacing the science fiction of the superman films with cutsy  whimsical fantasy  nonsense  bosco also points out scenes not in the american release as they come along  claiming that had they been in the original release it would have been a hit at the box office  again  for the sake of brevity  i wont even get into that one  anchor bay has also released a limited edition  only 50  000 copies pressed  twodisc set  disc one contains everything mentioned for the regular release  disc two features the never before seen directors cut of the film  which runs 138 minutes long  the additions mainly consist of scene extensions which dont add much of note  except for a few moments which lengthen peter otooles screen time  particularly during his latter appearances   the print is rough in spots and the sound is only in mono  but fans of the film wont care  one question though    shouldnt the directors commentary be on the directors cut of the film  id never seen supergirl before i sat down to watch this dvd  i was nine when it was released to theaters  and even then i was smart enough to inform my parents not to take me to see it  so when i popped the dvd into my player and sat down in my easy chair i had no idea what to expect  i knew the film wasnt beloved and i never had any interest in it before  but i was willing to give it a shot because of the impressive amount of work put into the disc  as the disc began to spin i was rather impressed with the opening sequence  which made me sit up and wonder if my assumptions all this time could have been wrong  come to find out however it was just the chase digital stereo logo    so i slunk back into my seat as the nightmare started  at the end of the film  supergirl flies back into the lake with the omegahedron  and flies back to argo city  ugh  i give up  im surprised i even made it to the end of the film not once  not twice  but three times to review these discs  supergirl is definitely a terrific dvd package  but a very lousy movie  pg 
neg	 practical magic   is a film that is so misguided in so many ways that it makes you wonder how such talented and highprofile actors would even get involved in an embarrassing claptrap like this one  the film stars sandra bullock and nicole kidman as sally and gillian owens  two sisters whose family comes from a long line of witches  spanning back 200 years  at the start  their parents die when they are still children  and they go to live with their two zany aunts  stockard channing and dianne wiest   switch to the present day  gillian  who is the stronger  more rebellious sibling  leaves home  and meets up with a dark  abusive guy  goran visjnic   while sally stays in their hometown  meets and falls in love with a sweet  caring man  has two children  and then is devastated when her husband is hit by a truck and killed  come to think of it  shes not too devastated since she gets over it in about two minutes   when gillian calls sally to come get her after having another abusive spat with visjnic  they accidentally murder him  and in desperation  bury the body in the backyard of their aunts house  add to this wildly convoluted story subplots involving the dead rising and an exorcism  not to mention a spattering of  lighthearted whimsy   and you have a pretty good idea how messy  practical magic  is  after seeing the film  i reflected that there was not even one scene  or element  that i liked or enjoyed  it is a comedy  to be sure  but all of the humor falls astoundingly flat  and the occasional dramatic moments are the least bit touching  it is not charming or entertaining in any way  and then to top it off  weve got this dark  but birdbrained story of an evil spirit taking over gillians body  whatever  the characters are handled terribly  and actually  most of the actors do not have the fortune of even getting to be what you could call a character  there is no reason why channing and wiest should have decided to be in this film  and in every scene involving them  they are always standing sidebyside  no attempt is made to flesh them out into actual people  the same goes for aidan quinn  as a handsome police investigator  who has the misfortune of being the romantic lead opposite bullock  even though he comes into it at around the 70minute mark  and once again  there is no attempt to develop their relationship  or his character  in any way  in fact  every line of dialogue in the film is in service of moving the plot along  rather than getting to know the people saying the lines  i should have know i was headed for trouble during the opening credits  when i found out the screenplay was written by the deeply hated akiva goldsman  who managed to destroy the  batman  series with  batman forever  and  batman and robin    practical magic  is directed by griffin dunne  primarily an actor  who last year made the contrived  clumsy romance   addicted to love   with meg ryan and matthew broderick  i disliked that movie quite a bit  but since  practical magic  is even worse  that can only give you a taste of what a talentless filmmaker he is  id tell him to quit while hes ahead  but in these last two years  hes ultimately already buried himself  
neg	nearly every film tim burton has directed has been an homage to the horror genre   frankenweenie    beetlejuice    batman    edward scissorhands    ed wood    mars attacks    yet none of them have been horror films   sleepy hollow  is his first attempt to actually scare people  i greeted the prospect with high anticipation  burtons whole career seemed to be leading up to this  i left disappointed  andrew kevin walkers screenplay takes only the character names from the classic short story  the legend of sleepy hollow   in the movie ichabod crane  johnny depp  is a new york city police constable who is trying to introduce scientific methods of investigation to his superiors  ichabod is dispatched to the small town of sleepy hollow to investigate a series of murders  several of the towns leading citizens have been decapitated by the headless horseman  although he rejects the ghost story the town elders tell him  ichabod finds that the facts of the case confound his scientific reasoning  he also discovers that the killings are not random  that the victims are tied together by a secret  along the way ichabod gets help from a bewitching  literally  young woman  christina ricci  and the son of one of the murder victims  marc pickering   my reaction  hohum  the plot is an accumulation of cliches without even the slightest touch of originality to make it interesting  that in itself is forgivable  hollywood constantly tries to sell us used products in new packages  however  burtons attempts at inducing fright come off as goofy  it might be his background  in his previous movies  goofy was the goal  along the same lines  it doesnt help that creature designer  and producer  kevin yagher has done his best work for the tongueincheek tales from the crypt tv series  a witchs eyes and tongue shoot out like roger rabbits  a tree spurts blood like its in a monty python sketch  and the headless horseman    well  hes a guy without a head    on a horse  boo    the performances are also awful  although hes impressed me with his work in other films  depp doesnt seem to know what to do with ichabod  and his dialogue is hampered by stilted diction thats supposed to pass for an 18th century accent  ricci seems to put all her effort into seeming enigmatic  which guarantees that we wont sympathize with her character  the actor who is revealed at the end to be the villain comes off as ridiculously cartoonish  the only pleasure generated by the cast comes from surprise cameos by christopher lee  martin landau  and christopher walken  i wonder if this movie was originally conceived as part of francis ford coppolas projected series of gothic adaptations  a series that produced only  bram stokers dracula  and  mary shelleys frankenstein   coppola is an executive producer for  sleepy hollow   and the script reflects his interest in early forms of  moving pictures   particularly in a toy that ichabod carries which blends two pictures to create an optical illusion   theres a bird on one side of the card  a cage on the other  when the card is flipped rapidly  the bird appears to be caged   bottom line  the hollow isnt the only thing thats sleepy  
neg	annie wilson  cate blanchett   a widow who struggles to raise her children in a small town in georgia is asked for help by local authorities in solving the case of a missing woman  annie is something of a psychic  she has involuntary bouts with the supernatural where she can see the past and the future and physically feel the actions happenning to her she envisions  her  gift  leads to the arrest of a nasty wife beater who may or may not have killed the pretty rich girl found in the swamp on his property  in an ultra conservative backwoods town will her testimony based on her psychic visions hold up in court  do they even have the right man  whats good about it  aside from keanu reeves giving one of the best performances of his career as the loathable redneck donnie barksdale  there is little else going for the film  whats not so good about it  lame  unoriginal screenplay  predictable ending  suspense scenes that are just plain boring  ridicously trite characterization makes the entire south out to be ingnorant  hateful goobers  relentless in its emotional sensationaliztion  overall critique   the gift  is one of those movies that makes you wonder where youve seen this story before  its a collection of every cliche and stereotype of the south ever made  and coming from a yankee like me who dislikes the south thats really saying something  for an established  talented director sam raimi is unable to provide any kind of originality to this film  its predictable from the first scene  the screenplay is written like a ripoff of a photocopied bootlegged play  you know that as nasty as the murder suspect is he didnt actually do it  its no surprise either who the real villain turns out to be and what their motive was  sigh  how trite  for a supernatural thriller this is neither scary nor intense because its so cliche   the gift  is basically a glorified bmovie  
neg	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  i was incredulous when i first heard that mgm was planning a sequel to their 1995 sciencefiction flick species  squandering an intriguing premise  the original film turned out to be a dreadful mess  widely disliked by both audiences and critics alike  and nonetheless still somehow succeeded in becoming a financial success  raking in over 60 million domestic during the competitive summer season despite a distinct lack of star power in its cast  ben kingsleys a splendid actor  but a marquee name he aint   miraculously dodging the bullet with the first film  i doubted that theyd dare tempt fate and go for another round  so here comes species ii  with a new creative team  director peter medak and screenwriter chris brancato step in for roger donaldson and dennis feldman  respectively  that fails to improve the series one iota  like its predecessor  species ii fails to capitalize on a potentially promising kernel and instead runs the gamut from ridiculously silly to unmitigatedly stupid  the film follows the exploits of a young man  patrick ross  justin lazard   whose sole focus is on cruising along the streets in order to pick up women  loitering in strip clubs  and generally trying to bed as many different ladies as he possibly can  in other words  patrick is like a lot of guys  these activities could describe the everyday routines of a huge percentage of men his age  but theres a catch  hes an astronaut who recently returned from a seemingly successful mission to mars  and whos now infected with alien dna  patricks overriding compulsion  to mate and sire countless numbers of gooey little alien offspring  and when he becomes aware of eve  natasha henstridge   a halfhuman  halfalien clone of the monster from the first film being studied in a government lab  patricks primary focus turns to her   if these two were to mate  the resulting pure strain of offspring would be unstoppable  warns dr  laura baker  marg helgenberger  gamely reprising her role  with admirable conviction  species ii opens with the mars mission  and the space scenes are remarkably unconvincing and hokeylooking  even splicing back to dated  grainy footage of actual spacecraft activities  they really skimped on production values this time around  however  this all looks positively inspired when compared to the first appearance of the evil alien goo which ultimately infests patrick  watching as it slinks around the command module of the spaceship  any question as to whether or not this is a cheesy bmovie is quickly answered  mr  brancatos original screenplay is filled with outrageous lines which often leaves the audience in stitches  like the first film  and perhaps in homage to it   theres a real penchant for dialogue which underlines the obvious  last time around featured the hootworthy line uttered by forest whitakers psychic empath character upon entering a bloodsoaked room   something bad happened here   this time  laura gets to stand over a fresh  shredded corpse with its entails ripped out and mutter  this is awful   and shes not even empathic  and when a psychotically horny patrick accosts a supermarket shopper and drags her kicking and screaming behind the building in a woefullypaced suspense sequence  eve  whos telepathically linked to her alienhumanhybrid counterpart  whatever   helpfully tells our alienhunting protagonists   hes going to rape her   while species ii is often unintentionally hilarious  at least it occasionally demonstrates a sense of humour of its own  theres an amusing  tongueincheek bit of product placement  which doesnt really make much sense  but i appreciated the sentiment   as well as some supermarketrelated hijinx   hes in aisle 1   informs eve   if the film maintained this sort of lighthearted tone  it would have been much more charming and enjoyable to watch  but  to its detriment  it instead takes its silly plot far too seriously and barrels along to a bloody  effectsladened anticlimactic conclusion  much of the film fails to make a whole lot of sense  and there are such gaping plot holes that its terribly difficult to contain any suspension of disbelief  the implausibilities are endless  what about the toxic bomb in eves brain  why are the guards armed with guns when they already know firearms are ineffectual  my favourite was the slowmotion sequence in the film where eve  sporting superhuman strength  is shown tossing aside guards who are attempting to contain her with what look like body blocks  this is the sort of movie which leaves you holding your head in amazed disbelief  incredulous that its being foisted upon the public  returning headlines michael madsen  who reprises tough guy press lennox  and ms  helgenberger do what they can with this goofy screenplay  but theres realistically only so much one can do with this script as a basis  mykelti williamson  portraying astronaut dennis gamble  churns out an alltoofamiliar spin on a generic brashmouthed character  and fine character actors george dzundza  playing colonel burgess and looking ridiculous in the process  and james cromwell  patricks neglectful father  senator ross  are utterly wasted in the film  mr  lazard gives his character an appropriately shiftyeyed look  while returning vixen ms  henstridge is actually given the opportunity to act in one scene  and acquits herself nicely   but is mostly relegated to reprising her familiar role of parading about in skimpy clothing  or none at all   ms  henstridge recently commented on how some female audiences have expressed appreciation for her character in the first entry of the species series  claiming that  shes so empowered   a lethal halfalien in heat who dispatches of her sexual partners in grotesque fashion  now  thats  what i call empowerment  
neg	the sequel to the fugitive  1993   u  s marshals is an average thriller using its association with the fugitive just so it can make a few extra bucks  tommy lee jones returns to his role as chief deputy samuel gerard  the grizzly cop who was after harrison ford in the fugitive  this time  hes after fugitive mark sheridan  snipes  who the police think killed two fbi agents  but of course hes been set up  and when the police plane escort he  and gerard  are riding crashes  he makes a run for it  gerard not so hot on his tail  what follows is about 2 hours of action  brought to us by the director of executive decision  1995   another film curiously involving a plane  when comparing this movie to the fugitive  the prequel is far superior  but even on its own  u  s marshals is a pretty lousy movie  while the original was reasonably intelligent  and had a fugitive to root for  the audience feels strangely distanced from snipes fugitive  mainly because we know so little about him until way into the films overlong running time  while the fugitive gave a little time to develop harrison fords character  u  s marshals is straight in there  pulling its trump card  the place crash  almost immediately  to be honest  i couldnt care less if snipes character got captured or not  snipes performance is average  and his character gets surprisingly little screen time  considering he is the fugitive  for reasons ill explain later  tommy lee jones is as fine as ever  although his role is hardly a challenge  the sense of deja vu was overwhelming  i know its the same role from the fugitive  but there is seemingly no attempt to develop his character from the last film  theres a few nudge nudge references from the first film  but apart from that  nothing  nobody even mentions harrison ford in this movie  downey jnr is ok as fbi agent john royce whos roped into the chase  and sexy french actress irene jacob wanders in and out of the movie as snipes wife  nobody looks as if their having a good time  and all the performers are on autopilot  the supporting cast are o  k  but when it comes to performances  u  s marshals falls flat on its face  it doesnt fare any better plotwise  either  the film starts off with gerard trying to capture snipes  but then veers off into terrorists territory  as said above  the film is an normal  average terrorist thriller  seen a million times before  but is using the fugitive reputation to make it sound more professional  if this film wasnt the sequel to the fugitive  this would probably go straight to video  or not even been made at all  because its so average  and because of the films plot changing its course  snipes is almost forgotten apart  and hardly features in the movie  stuart baird  the director  is all right  but theres no particular scene that stands out  its director is the usual action movie style  even the plane crash is sorely lacking in tension  the special effects are nice  especially the plane crash  and theres a good  if very loud  soundtrack by veteran composer jerry goldsmith  but in the end  u  s marshals suffers from an overwhelmingly lack of excitement  sure  its loud and dumb  but in the end u  s marshals just aint fun  bored performers and a lackluster plot and script  do not make a good action movie  overall rating review by david wilcock web space provided by geocities 
neg	one of the contributors to the destruction of the batman film franchise chris odonnell stars in this remake of buster keatons 1925 silent film seven chances  now ive never seen seven chances  as im more of a chaplin fan than a keaton fan  but i seriously doubt that the classic version could be as insipid as this  odonnell plays jimmie shannon  the manager of a pool table manufacturing company  he also fears commitment  and despite dating anne  renee zellweger  for over three years  hes unwilling to marry her  his reasons  well hes a guy you see  and well  guys are like stallions  and they apparently dont like to be roped or something  hey  thats the movies explanation    id marry renee zellweger in a second   eventually it comes time for jimmie to propose  and when he does  its the most absurd proposal ever uttered by a man ever  he essentially says to her   you win  and hands her a ring  the audience should now hate this character  i did  then the meat of the plot presents itself  jimmies grandfather  peter ustinov  completely wasted  dies and leaves jimmie his entire estate of 100 million dollars as well as ownership of the pool table business  however  in order to get the money and save the jobs of the factory workers  jimmie must be married before his next birthday  which is just over 24 hours away   having blown his chances with anne  jimmie proceeds to track down all his prior girlfriends and suggest a  business proposition   the movie wasnt half bad by this time  surprisingly  it wasnt boring me  and even managed to read my thoughts at one point  ustinovs character left a video will  and while hes reading the ridiculous clause in it  i thought to myself  what is this  brewsters millions    as soon as i thought it  hal holbrooks character actually says  what is this  brewsters millions   it was quite surreal  something happens though during the films final act that caused me to sharply drop the rating it was going to receive  up to that point  all of jimmies prior girlfriends had turned down his  business proposition  which i felt was good  at least the film wasnt painting women to be cold hearted gold diggers  when jimmie has no other options  his goofy friend  played by artie lange  making a career out of playing the goofy friend  places an ad in the newspaper that somehow becomes a front page story  at this point  100  000 women don wedding gowns and head off to persuade jimmie to pick them to be his bride  these women arrive at jimmies location and immediately start bullying him about what hes looking for in a woman  when hes had enough of their unjustified attacks  he tells the angry mob that theres been a mistake and he wont be marrying any of them  as a result  the women proceed to chase him around the city  in hopes of catching him and tearing his limbs off  this goes on for the rest of the film  its just chris odonnell running from 100  000 obnoxious  greedy  angry and stupid women  my groans of disgust could be heard for miles  the film finally ended  thankfully   but to this day im still groaning  the bachelor is available on dvd from new line home video  it contains the film in both full frame and in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  85  1  cast and crew info  and special dvdrom features  the original theatrical trailer is also on the disc  which contains scenes not in the film  apparently there was even more footage of the gang of brides chasing odonnell around the city  and at one point odonnell is leaping from the tops of buses  so that was bad enough to be cut  but the other 30 minutes of bride shenanigans was good  ugh  
neg	the happy bastards quick movie review holy man more like holy crap  the film stars eddie murphy as a mysticalish figure named g on a strange journey of some sort when he comes across two network execs  jeff goldblum and kelly preston  with a flat tire on their hands  somehow he ends up in their car and on their channel  a lineup of infomercial programs featuring the likes of betty white  morgan fairchild  and a slew of other celebrities and nameless figures  its here that he seems to hit his stride  speaking of life instead and somehow boosting sales  at this point in the movie  of course  morality comes into play  particularly on goldblum  who suddenly feels he can market the magical g into megabucks to get in good with his boss  robert loggia   it doesnt take long for the movie to unfold into sappy mush  with realizations taking place left and right and poor plot points  only a real zippy sequence involving frying morgan fairchilds face seems to have any interest in the movie  murphy lends nothing to his character and poor goldblum looks as if hed rather be someplace else  some may argue that the movie has a message  but all that came across to me is that i could probably get more entertainment watching that informercial with the guy in the question mark coat  at least he has something for us to laught at    
neg	forget get carter  instead    get me a cup of coffee  what the hell has happened to all good american action movies  did i unknowingly miss a meeting somewhere  when did all of the badass  kicking butt and taking names  guntoting  crazed  vengeful characters of the 1980s  from such films as commando  cobra  predator  raw deal  first blood  suddenly turn into innocent  compassionate  sensitive  tearyeyed knuckleheads  the only place to turn these days for an honest action film is towards the east  and i dont mean new york city  get carter  the latest masterpiece from uberthespian sylvester stallone  is a prime example of large and in charge 80s action stars trying to fit back into action roles they have long since outgrown  stallone seems like that one uncle you have who tries to be cool with his members only jacket and izod polo shirt with the collar popped up  a few years ago  stallone made a movie that gave him the opportunity to gracefully exit the roles that typecast him as an action monkey  that role was sheriff freddy heflin in copland  a strange film about redemption within a broken soul  stallone actually gave an amazing performance and it seemed he had shaken off the past  too bad get carter returns stallone to action  but with the shiny paint rusted off on the edges  get carter is a simple story  stallone plays frank carter  a vegas bruiser for a loan shark  played with amazing gusto by the uncredited voice of actor tom sizemore   when franks brother gets himself killed in a drunk driving accident  frank  feeling all guilty and mushy inside  thinks foul play is involved and travels to seattle to set right all the wrongs with the patented  carters way   he talks tough with his brothers wife  lends a helping had to his brothers daughter doreen  rachel leigh cook   and walks around seattle in the pouring rain dressed like a lost member of the rat pack with a really bad goatee  carter finds out that his brother was involved in some bad stuff with a slimy porn king played by ultracool  mcqueenesque mickey rourke  a multimillionaire computer geek  alan cumming   and a strange foreign guy  michael caine  who speaks in riddles and talks tough  carter stalks all of them while trying to figure out who did in his brother and how to extract proper revenge on the responsible parties  what a minute  this sounds just like another film i saw last year  the limey  better not tell terence stamp about stallone ripping him off  actually  get carter is a remake of the 1971 british production of the same name  starring caine in the title role  and what with his cameo here  the cleverness is astonishing   while stallone still carries his own weight here  the movie lacks what the original did as well  purpose  throughout the film  stallone looks like an old guy trying to act tough  while nobody is taking him seriously  his oneliners fall flat  and he seems tired and uncertain of all the actions  mental and physical  required of his character  there is even a strange homoeroticism between rourke and stallone that lends a bizarre tone to their numerous conversations  in both fists and words  the biggest surprise in get carter is that the best job done in the film is by the versatile mickey rourke  an amazing method actor in the eighties who fell into drugs  spousal abuse  a boxing career  and an intolerable attitude towards not getting his way  rourke still brings a dangerous sense of purpose to his porn king character  he may not win any oscars  but he still ranks highly in my book  get carter has great directing  strong acting by rourke and caine  and energetic car chases that would make william friedkin proud  the only thing it lacks  as with most hollywood productions  is a good script and proper casting  never mind that it should never have been made at all  
neg	a remake of the 1978 warren beatty vehicle  heaven can wait   which in turn was a remake of  here comes mr  jordan     down to earth  tells the tale of lance barton  chris rock   lethal weapon iv    a young black standup comic trying to win over the audience at harlems apollo theater  when hes taken to heaven prematurely by bumbling angel keyes  eugene levy   best in show    his only recourse is to return in another body  he chooses that of charles wellington  the tenth richest man in the united states  of course  wellington is not only rich  but white and 53 years old  which makes lances bid for closing night at the apollo  as well as his desire to woo suntee  regina taylor   jerry maguire    a tad tricky  the original elaine maywarren beatty script has been reworked by chris rock  lance crouther  ali leroi  and louis c  k  to turn beattys vehicle as a football player into rocks vehicle as a comic and add some racial humor  as directed by chris weitz and paul weitz  codirectors of  american pie  and costars of  chuck  buck    the whole affair comes off as amateur hour  initial scenes play like filmed line reading rehearsals  production values are shoddy  most serious of all is the use of rock when his wellington counterpart would have been more appropriate  this problem is clearly attributable to the fact that the old white guy is never lip or action synched when he is on screen  rock does get the chance to do some fun schtick  such as his turnaround on wellingtons plans for a poor neighborhood hospital  bullet in the head  you got a bed     but hes uneven when interacting with the rest of the cast  regina taylor fares well amidst the mediocrity as the young activist who confusedly ends up falling for the man she believed to be her nemesis  also good is frankie faison   hannibal   as whitney  lances compassionate manager  the only human whos made privy to lances body body switch  chaz palminteri and levy are pretty much wasted as heavens ambassadors  another  best in show  alumnus  jennifer coolidge  is poorly used as wellingtons cheating wife  and shown several days apart wearing the same outfit    and greg germann  tvs  ally mcbeal    sweet november   continues display his sitcom roots as her lover and husbands lawyer  mark addy   the full monty   is sorely underutilized as cisco  wellingtons fake english butler  stealing the show in every scene shes in is wanda sykes   the chris rock show   as wellingtons disgruntled maid   down to earth  is for chris rock fans only  all others should go rent  heaven can wait  or truly be brought down to earth  
neg	what would you do if no one could see you  well  if youre a super smart biomolecular research scientist working for the military  youd grope a coworker and roughup your neighbor from across the street  thats right  of all the noncriminal possibilities brought about by rendering oneself invisible  in  hollow man  kevin bacons character opts to commit sex crimes  er  its kevin bacon who plays the super smart military biomolecular research scientist  something sounds horribly wrong already  but this is a paul verhoeven film  and the sleazepin director of such opencrotch classics as  basic instinct  and the infamous  showgirls  never lets a little credibility get in the way of his voyeuristic tendencies which  when you come right down to it  is all this film is about   hollow man  features a string of hapless  clist actors  among them bacon  elisabeth shue  josh brolin  and kim dickens  in a gradez plot with a lot of special effects that  frankly  dont look much better than those used in the 1933 version of  the invisible man   oh bacon glistens when he gets wet all right and looks like a rather fatty side of cheap flank steak when hes attempting reentry but otherwise its lots of  thermal  shots and inanimate objects  elisabeth shue included  bobbing around without any visible signs of support  since invisibility  once achieved  isnt much of an effect  the actors spend half their time conversing with nobody and the other half of their time talking to each otherit amounts to much of a muchness   the director elects to wardrobe all of his female protagonists in looselybuttoned sweaters so that the minute bacons character gets invisible he can head straight for them  its as if that fascinating conceptwhat would you do if no one could see you  is simply a verhoeven ploy to show some skin  as a horror film   hollow man  is unsophisticated and disturbing  in its intent  not its achievements  and not worth your time or your hardearned dollars  its minor verhoevenand even thats not saying muchand boy is it hollow  
neg	roger ebert asks in his review of sexy beast   who would have guessed that the most savage maddog frothing gangster in recent movies would be played by    ben kingsley   my response would be that anyone who has seen alan arkin in wait until dark  henry fonda in once upon a time in the west  or anthony hopkins in the silence of the lambs should have guessed it  they should know that the way for a film to create a really creepy sociopath is cast someone who generally plays mild  sympathetic  or even ineffectual character roles  the same characteristics that make an actor seem gentle in most of his roles can work in his favor when a role calls for him to be fierce and vicious  that is the principle that works for kingsley in sexy beast  gary  gal  dove  played by ray winstone  has retired from a london career of crime and is living on a luxurious villa in spain  life has become a routine of sunning himself and relaxing  but his paradise is about to be shattered by a onetwopunch  the first punch is a boulder that comes rolling down the hill next to the villa  the second punch comes from gals past  back in london gang boss teddy bass  ian mcshane  tvs lovejoy  is planning to break into a safety deposit room in a bank and he wants gal  he sends his most rabid henchman don logan  ben kingsley  to fetch gal  don will accept any decision gal makes from  yes  to  certainly   however  if gal says  no  don will do whatever it takes to turn it into a yes including threatening guys exporn star wife deedee  amanda redman   in the meantime don knows just how to get under everybodys skin  kingsley makes don a compact package of fury and nastiness  there are some serious problems in louis melliss and david scintos script that should have been caught before filming  when we see the actual crime we have no idea why gal was so important to its success  beyond an ability to use skindiving gear  no special talents are required of him  any local hood could have done what gal is needed for  additionally the crime involves digging from a swimming pool to the bank vault  flooding the vault  no only could they have let the water out of the pool and avoided the complication altogether  but there is by far too much water to be accounted for by what was in the pool  in spite of the provocative title  the story is cliched and overly familiar  i know i have seen all the plot elements of sexy beast in old westerns like the law and jake wade  the story is usually of the reformed outlaw  a robert taylor type  who has hung up his guns and is trying for a life of peaceful respectability  the old gang  however  wants to do one more job with their old buddy and sends a rabid richard widmark type to go and git  im  it is not a great plot  in sexy beast even the plot twists have gray beards  perhaps the film has a little more respectability because it was made not as a western but as a stylish british gangster film  it is an old plot dressed up to look new  if the plot is old  at least the style is creative  this is director jonathan glazers first film  but he has reputedly done some notable tv ads for guinness stout  his style does have some unexpected touches including some very odd dream sequences  cinematographer ivan bird uses a lot of half lit scenes  we see one side of a persons faces  but the other side fades into the darkness  a sort of metaphor for the halfworld these characters inhabit  half of everything that is happening is also kept hidden  us yanks will have a hard time with some of the dialog  at least in my theater it was difficult to make out the words with the quiet speaking  the heavy accents  and the cockney language  sexy beast is a very and familiar minor plot lent respectability in the us by being done in what is here a still somewhat novel genre  the london crime film  the plot may be new to british crime films  but it would be overly familiar as a western  further respectability comes from ben kingsleys highpowered performance  i give it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	apparantly money talks    and uses quite a bit of obscenities doing so  ive always considered myself pretty open about the gratuity a film can possess  whether in language  violence  sex  or what have you  i find that this fact gives me a little more leverage to complain when a movie goes overboard  and money talks definitely does  its not so much that the movie swore nearly constantly  and i mean constantly    but it swore so much that it seemed overly prominent and way too staged  perhaps if one character were foul mouthed  but in this film  everybody swears nearly every other word  money talks is about a black ticket scalper named franklin hatchett  played less annoyingly than expected by chris tucker   franklin is your typical conman and ends up with more than one person out to get him  when the plot finally gets underway  theres no less than three people  or groups  that want him  dead or alive  the frenchman whos somewhat responsible for franklins escape from a prisonerpacked bus  a hoodlum whom franklin owes seven grand  and the cops who wrongly suspect him of murder  franklins only hope  james russell  charlie sheen   an investigative reporter for the local news whos out to prove himself a worthy journalist  james offers to help clear franklins name if franklin will just allow him an exclusive report to help channel 12 conquer sweeps week  both of these elements are completely lost along the way however  and never do reappear  as expected  the odd couple of franklin and james do wind up friends at the end  which is another wasted element seeing as how they show no signs of becoming friends at any point along the way  there is just nothing original or intriguing about this film  and so many developments are either nonrelevant  or just plain forgotten about  money talks is a paintbynumbers movie that lacks any real involvment with the audience  frivilous dialogue  a predictable  flat storyline  and twodimensional characters make money talks a reason to save your money  
neg	starting with the little mermaid and most recently the lion king  the walt disney company once again proved that they could not only consistently make modern day animated classics  but were particularly in touch with what the general viewing publicparticularly kids wanted to see  therefore  its with some surprise that as a big fan of the above mentioned movies i was so disappointed with pocahontas  despite some innovation and risk taking  the story is surprisingly straightforward and dramatized in broad strokes  as are its characters  a group of englishmen lead by the evil governor ratcliffe come to the new world in search of gold with no regard for the  savages  that live there  the natives look upon the english with just as much fear and distrust  only the love between the beautifully structured pocahontas and the dashing captain john smith can prevent a terrible clash  the ending  as it turns out  is not entirely a happy one and is one of the films finer moments  the characters are mixtures of stereotypes and lack any real depth  governor ratcliffe  for instance  is a snobbish  singleminded bore whose mere appearance is supposed to bring about hisses  captain john smith is a blond hunk who  while  slightly  misguided  is good at heart  pocahontas herself is the typical disney heroine who is practically being forced to marry a man who everyone but her likes and finds the man of her dreams just in time  she even comes complete with insignificant best friend  again  against tradition  talking animals arent used  but a lusty  wizened  talking tree is  this is an odd compromise  but its one of the few elements that really work  the animals are a delight  and what brief time their interactions take place brings the only humor and fun to a rather bland presentation  maybe it would have been a better film if we saw the story unfold through their eyes  the talking tree  who seems to have a thing for john smith  is the only other character that can hold our interest and is perhaps the best developed of the bunch  the music  a welcome delight in the later disney films  is mostly a let down here  with the exception of the catchy and motivational   colors of the wind   mel gibson  as the voice of john smith  has a solid singing voice and should have been used more  the opposite holds true for the governor ratcliffe led songs  the singing is even more grating than his simplistic character  i was rather bored through what turned out to be a shorter than expected running time  even the children in the audience seemed restless  while theres no stopping a kid from seeing something that they wantor disney wants them tomost i believe will be disappointed  perhaps the biggest problem is that disney has strayed from their familiar fable and fairy tale themes to history  its all right to change or embellish fantasy to suit a movies entertainment value  but doing so to historical facts doesnt work nearly as well as creating nagging questions in the viewers minds and plot holes that are never filled  even the artwork  another disney strong point  varies greatly in quality  making any story problems even more obvious  as mentioned above  there were many questions that stayed with me while viewing the film  for instance  if john smith was truly such a world traveler and had so much experience with  savages   why did he so quickly change his previous  kill as many indians as i can  attitude  if he was such a nice guy after all  he should have changed his ways long before this  or how about pocahontas amazing english speaking ability when this had supposedly been the first time she had seen white men  i can understand making the native americans speak english for the benefit of the audience  but simply saying that they had met a missionary years earlier would have cleared up a lot  history was modified in the film anyway  as it is  i wonder if it doesnt give kids the wrong impression  in short  the film is too simplistic for adults and contains too much romance and not enough action or humor for the younger set  while disney tried valiantly in many ways to break with some of their firmest traditions  they end up failing on too many levels  
neg	plot  upon the realization that they are failing all of their classes  two roommates try to find a third roomie who will kill himself  since the schools charter automatically grants top grades to the roommates of any student who succeeds in suicide  critique  despite this films interesting premise and dark subject matter  this movie sucks because it is unfunny  boring  and presents us with one of tom everett scotts worst acting performances  add that to a completely unsuccessful romance element  many lame and corny jokes  a long wait for the setup  and an ending that takes all the blackness out of this  black comedy   if youre gonna create a black comedy  dont chicken out in the endsee very bad things  810  for a perfect example   and youve got yourself a trite mtv creation worthy of its own subject matter  i barely laughed at any gags  found the bong element contrived and repetitive  and was horrified not to find any gratuitous nudity tossed anywhere in this movie  if youre gonna make a bad college comedy  at least slap in some free ta shots for the kids    this ones not even worth the rental  fellas  skip it altogether  little known facts about this film and its stars  during auditions for that thing you do   tom everett scotts first feature film role  director tom hanks was opposed to hiring tom because of the fact that scott couldve passed for hanks 15 years ago  it wasnt until hanks wife rita wilson saw the audition tape  and decided he was cute  that hanks decided to risk hiring scott  the actor who played scott cooper in this film  markpaul gosselaar  is best known for having played the character of zack morris on tvs  saved by the bell   his parents are dutch and named hans and paula  and who wouldve guessed that this is director alan cohns first shot at directing a feature film  
neg	when respecting a director  you must also respect the fact that they are not perfect  woody allen has made a couple lessthan good films  and hes my favorite  even martin scorsese hasnt had a perfect track record  kevin smith  after a smashing debut with the classic  clerks  stooped as low to sellout and make the dreadful  mallrats   i mean  so far the only director whos made several films  none of which have been bad is richard linklater   slacker    dazed and confused    before sunrise   and  suburbia     all which were great   now  i adore quentin tarantino  his first two films were classic films  the second one being one of the greatest films of all time  but 1995 just wasnt that good of a year for him  he made way too many tv appearances  he mispronounced jackie chans name on the mtv movie awards  and he made this film   he was also awarded an oscar  so i guess that would be a grand exception   robert rodriguez is also a great director  not a brilliant one  but a cool one  ive never seen an alexandre rockwell or allison anders film  so i cant comment on them  but in this crap ensemble directors film  all four give pitiful efforts  pitiful for any director  too  now in all fairness  ensemble director pieces never really work out  ive never seen all of  new york stories   but have heard the first two films  by scorsese and francis ford coppola are crap  i saw woodys one  which was hilarious but not totally up to par   but i will rate each film individually and then report back to you on the overal average score of the film  exposition  a simple one  a bellhop  ted  the totally overdone tim roth  whos a god and all  but not in this one  though he has a couple good moments  is working on new years eve for his first shift      in an old fancy hotel  hes the only one there  again      and he only has a couple rooms  yet again       the old bellhop  the seemingly immortal marc lawrence  who hated pulp fiction actually  hands over his cap to ted and he goes to his job happily  as the night goes on  he becomes increasingly annoyed and hostile  yea   the short films are presented in order  btw   the missing ingredient writerdirector  allison anders starring  sammi davis  amanda decadenet  valeria golino  madonna  ione skye  lili taylor  alicia witt this one starts it off horribly with no plot  no intrigue  and crap dialogue  the situation is so terrible that its physically painful to watch  the plot has something to do with a coven of witches needing sperm to bring back a godess who is  gasp   stuck inside some object in their hotel room  the witch that was supposed to bring it  ione skye  calls up ted and asks him if she can perform fellatio on him to get it  yeah  thats what i said  stupid plot  inane characters who arent interesting at all  etc  etc  etc  the only good thing about this is it has a good cast which  in turn  it wastes pitifully  not even actually funny for a second  my rating  out of 5   no stars     the wrong man writerdirector  alexandre rockwell starring  david proval  jennifer beals and laurence bender another bad little film with another stupid sex thing going on  ted stumbles into the wrong room or something and gets in the middle of a couple  david proval and jennifer beals in her attempt at  coming back   who are playing sex games  ted tries to escape and we cheer him on so it will end soon  but at least this has a bit of comedy in it  just not that much  and david proval has never overacted as much  and its  pulp fiction  producer laurence bender who gets to puke from a window  a masterpiece compared to the first one  but still    the misbehavers writerdirector  robert rodriguez starring  antonio banderes  tamlyn tomita  lana mckissack  danny verduzco  salma hayek would a robert rodriguez film be the same without salma hayeks navel  nope  luckily shes on the tv dancing so we get to see her  surprisingly enough  when i read the screenplay  about a year before actually seeing it   this one seemed to have the most potential  it was fastpaced  funny  and well  funny  but when i watched it  it seemed anticlimactic and only seemed to gain any momentum towards the end when everything happened at once  antonio overacts nicely and the two kids  lana and danny  are funny  but  as i said  it moves slowly and in that way  its more painful than funny  but the ending was stupid and funny at the same time  oh  the plot  antonio is a supposed gangster  assumed  really  who leaves his two troubling kids home while he and his wife  tomita  go out to get drunk at a new years party  antonio hires ted for a couple bucks to watch his kids all night long  but things go wrong    it was okay  the man from hollywood writerdirector  quentin tarantino starring  quentin tarantino  bruce willis  paul calderon and jennifer beals  again  ironically  this one could be considered the best for a bad reason  it best represents what quentin has done with this film  he plays chester  a spoiled brat actor or something who has just had a huge boxoffice hit on his hands and is living it up by playing an anticlimactic game from a hitchcock tv episode starring steve mcqueen and peter lorre where they gamble to see if one of them can get light from his lighter ten times in a row  theyre drunk and need sober but nervous ted to hold the cleaver and bring it down if the lighter doesnt light  they also pay him a lot of cash  this is so much exactly what this little film is about that its campy  tim roth was probably payed a lot of money to do this stupid part in this stupid film made by a bunch of people who are high on themselves cause theyve had hits  major or minor  it took quentin to realize that  but the thing is  it doesnt seem like he realizes that  if he did  id give this a good 3 stars  but this sucked  it was anticlimactic and the dialogue wasnt very good  he starts off with a very long steadicam shot then goes to flashes  that makes no sense  its cool for a while  then he makes it uneven  its long and its just not very good  hopefully quentin never repeats what he did with this one  conclusion  whats the moral here  if youve made celebrated films  dont do an ensemble piece  they should have rewatched  new york stories  and then stopped in their tracks  none of these have any point to them and theyre embarrassing to not only the writerdirectors  but to the actors cause theyre working with crap  but i will forgive everyone involved and i especially look forward to quentins next directing job  even though he and rodriguez jumped back to the top immeadiately with the cool  from dusk till dawn   which i found exhilerating   i love quentin and i suppose its good he made  the man from hollywood  because it makes him seem more realistic and not some  god of cinema   i seem to respect directors if they arent  gods  and are actually human beings who make mistakes   the man from hollywood  is his big mistake and lets hope he doesnt return her continuously  
neg	you dont need to have seen the original  species  to appreciate how utterly lousy  species ii  is  with few exceptions  sequels tend to be worse than the films that spawned them  but the fact that  species ii  is a followup isnt the only reason its so miserable  its the predictable storyline  the cardboard characters  the banal dialogue  the failed attempts at humor  the revolting special effects  the gratuitous nudity  all female  of course   the bad acting  and the bland direction  the plot  simply geared at getting the alien species back on planet earth so that it can reak some more havoc  involves three astronauts landing on mars and inadvertently bringing some alien slime in a soil sample back aboard their shuttle  the slime  well  sort of jumps out at them and the screen turns black  that should have been the end of the movie right there  back on terra firma  at least one of the crew is now a carrier of alien dna and  as youll remember if you saw the first movie  driven by a strong urge to procreate  on a parallel track  government scientists have cloned a version of sil from the first film  now called eve  again  played  by natasha henstridge  and are keeping her around for some testing  this  apparently  includes observing eves reaction to  the dukes of hazzard  tv show  which she appears to enjoy  eves biorhythms go off the scale each time one of her kinfolk  mates   which we are forced to witness in grossout detail  but otherwise there doesnt appear to be a whole lot of reason why henstridge is in this film  unless it was written into her contract  lets hope it cited one sequel and one sequel only   eve finally breaks free of her confinesand her brafor the finale  but the effects are so messy you cant really see whats going on  peter boyle is totally wasted as an institutionalized scientist who screams  i told em not to go   at the top of his lungs  referring to the mars mission but more likely aimed at the makers of this piffle  michael madsen reprises his role of press lennox  so that he can enter high security areas  flash a badge and claim to be press  maybe    as does marg helgenberger as dr  laura baker  the one subjecting eve to the tv reruns  theyre both unbelievably wooden  whats a talented filmmaker like peter medak   the ruling class    the krays    let him have it   doing directing this tripe  i wonder  its an unfortunate trend  this  oncetalented directors throwing in the towel and lending their names to unchallenging horror flicks like  species ii   last year peter hyams gave us  the relic   no thanks necessary there  and the first  species  was helmed by roger donaldson who  although certainly no genius behind the camera  had demonstrated much better judgment with his previous choice of projects  is it just that there are no better offers out there   species ii  is worthless  worse than that  its also exploitative  offensive  and insulting to the intelligence at every turn  its not that there isnt anything positive to say about the film  there is  after 92 minutes  it ends  
neg	 something is fishy in the state of universal   about ten years back  with the unexpected success of mad max and the road warrior  postapocalypse nittygritty survival yarns became popular at the movies  weve always had movies of this nature  on the beach  the end of the world  damnation alley  the ultimate warrior  and so on  to date  the most smoothly done were straightforward  haircuts  of the classic western plot  like the lone gunman who comes to town and protects the widow and the son against an evil organization  usually one in possession of some critical resource  like water  feed range  or a mining claim  most of these grew out of venerable  but solid hero yarns like the virginian and shane   my personal favorite is a patrick swayze movie called steel dawn  which was fairly well made on a small budget   now we have waterworld  which again brings the traditional lone gunman to town to rescue the young widow and her daughter   well  shes not a widow  and the kid isnt her daughter  but you get the idea   the lady is helen  played by the stunning jean tripplehorn  who isnt given a chance to be stunning  or even interesting  by the mediocre and unimaginative script  the child enola  played by tina majorino  is living proof that a child actor need not be a bad thing to have in a movie  she outshines her material all the way through  in simple  the scene is earth  hundreds of years from now  the polar ice caps have melted  and somehow produced enough water to inundate the entire planet  the few remaining people live in boats and floating colonies  and survive by trade  theft  or piracy  somehow an oil tanker has survived the centuries  and its inhabitants  called  smokers   are able to keep gasoline engines running despite the dearth of replacement parts and raw materials  so the bad guys have outboard engines  and fastmoving boats  airplanes  and jet skis  enola  found at sea as a young girl  has a mysterious map no one can read tattooed on her back  we suspect early on that it is the way to the mythical  dryland   the place where trees  crops  and animals grow  and what plot there is hinges on who has enola  the psycho ruler of the smokers  the  deacon   is trying to get her and find his way to dryland  played with typical selflampooning  rugchewing histrionics by dennis hopper   deacon  is the only thing in the movie thats close to amusing  his performance is  almost  laughable  but there just isnt enough there to be funny  the star  and a coproducer  is kevin costner  hes playing an unnamed lone denizen of the sea  a man called the  mariner   who turns out to be a gilled  waterbreathing mutant with webbed feet  very little is done with this  the script ignores the ineffectuality of gills in supplying enough oxygen to support a human metabolism  it ignores the fact that even with both ice caps completely melted  much of the earths surface would still be above water  and it ignores the blatant impossibility of the cultures and technology shown   canned meat does  not  last for centuries  ammunition does  not  fire after its more than a few decades old  and so on  and so on     im quite fond of tina majorinos previous work  very impressed by jean tripplehorns past accomplishments  and still speechless over costners dances with wolves  but this movie could destroy the careers of anyone associated with it  this movie cost one hundred and eightytwo million dollars  and theres  nothing  in it we havent seen before  done better on only a few percent of the cost of this turkey  at 125 minutes of material  this movie cost over one point four million dollars per minute to make  the budget of this movie  could  have given us over thirty movies  it could have paid for six years of a primetime sf tv series with expensive fx work  or ten years of an sf tv series with good digital fx  in sum  this movie is beneath contempt  it has nothing new to offer  it has a script that could easily have been bettered by the people who write comic books for dc  and it spent more money than the national budget of a small nation  if you  have  to go see it  see it on a fourdollar matinee  otherwise youll find yourself sneering at you every time you pass a reflective surface  for weeks  
neg	this season needs another serial killer movie like kathie lee gifford needs more public devastation  but lo and behold  here comes  switchback   and fast on the heels of such stalker fare as  kiss the girls  and  i know what you did last summer   but  switchback  is an undoubtedly weak genre entry  as the material it covers is old and tired  and the filmmakers rarely sustain enough energy to make any of the proceedings interesting   switchback  opens with the murder of a babysitter and the abduction of the young child shes watching  we learn late in the game that the kid belongs to fbi agent frank lacrosse  dennis quaid   and that the kidnapperkiller is a nameless fiend that lacrosse has been tracking across the country for quite a while  he is promptly removed from the case  but this conflict of interest doesnt keep him from offering pursuit  lacrosses most recent trek takes him to a bloodsoaked hotel room in amarillo  texas  where the local sheriff  r  lee ermey  is torn between his reelection campaign and helping his new ally catch his man  in a related aside  former railway worker bob goodall  danny glover  is cruising through the snowbound west in his pinupplastered  even on the seatbelts  el dorado  along the way  he picks up  and subsequently saves the life of  hitchhiking loner lane dixon  jared leto   this tangent isnt a random one  as bob or lane will end up either holding a piece of the puzzle or turn out to be the killer himself  or is the villain in fact lacrosse  only pretending to be after the coldhearted murderer he knows so much about  in a sense  thats half of the basic problem with  switchback   for its first hour  the movie presents evidence that any of these three men could be the perpetrator  so were given little insight into who they are  likely for fear that well learn too much too fast and therefore be able to make the proper deduction  but  switchback  then decides to explicitly reveal the killers identity at its midpoint  and the following contradictory character motivations muddle both the pacing and the generation of suspense  some of the acting is a burdensome area as well  probably because the performers were instructed to build personas that are the exact opposite of their true selves  what is danny glover doing here  grinning and yeehawing his way through the messy plot  and dennis quaid   that monotone  stop it   ermey is solid in a supporting role thats more interesting than the two leads thrown together  but the charismatic leto  claire danes object of affection in  my socalled life   is a scenestealer tried and true  from a material standpoint   switchback  is pretty empty  but even when firsttime director jeb stuart  who wrote  the fugitive  and  die hard   doesnt know what to do  he knows what he wants it to look like  the movie provides some great visuals  the setonatrain climax looks good  even though the action is illogical   and the beautiful  crisp cinematography captures the rockies in all of their icy splendor  still  thats not enough to turn a lump of coal into a diamond  and more than the movies look will end up leaving you cold  
neg	plot  a separated  glamorous  hollywood couple must pretend to reunite for a press junket of the last movie that they ever shot together  kewl    now i only wish that i could pretend never to have seen this movie    critique  trite  unfunny  boring and a waste of everyones talent  how a premise with such zest and bite can turn into a movie that doesnt feature any chemistry  any real laughs  any surprises or any spice is beyond me  how julia roberts is used solely as a  puppy dog  character  puttering around in the background while we endure the complete bitchiness of zetajones character  who is not one bit funny or romantic  two ideal ingredients in a  romantic comedy    is also beyond me  and why they chose john cusack  a great  quirky actor in his own right  to play the most bland  uninteresting and unfetching character  with zero chemistry with either of his leads  is further more  beyond me  and to anybody who decided that this project was  funny  enough to greenlight featuring the talents mentioned above  along with billy crystal  christopher walker  seth green and stanley tucci    well  what can i say    i just dont have the words  so is this the worst movie that ive seen all year  no  but it definitely sucks and its basically because    well  its just not funny  and for the record  allow me to state a few more problems with it  it starts off slow  its got no energy  it doesnt engage you with any of its characters  julia barely gets somewhat interesting in the film  everyone else    lame    it utilizes way too many flashbacks to move the story forward  its utterly predictable  standard  routine  seethrough and uninteresting as a plot and it just sits there on the screen  big and ugly  waiting    waiting for you to laugh or find something in it that is amusing  and then hank azaria shows up    aaaaaah  the films savior  mind you  some might be offended by his exaggeration of a stereotype  but thats another story altogether   but when an experienced  voice  actor upstages all of the main stars in a summer  blockbuster  romantic comedy with an overthetop antonio banderas accent  damn dude    your films in trouble   rent this movie on video just to see what went wrong yourself  the references to ricky ricardo and senor wences  huh     the idioplot points like when one of the characters goes on the roof to stretch his arms out and relax  but everyone believes that hes going to kill himself  hardyharhar  and the cheap way of getting the audience to leave the theater laughing by bringing back a ballsniffing dog that has no place being in the location at the end of the movie  well    i could go on  but i wont because i do still respect all of the actors in this film and actually did laugh at azaria  green and tuccis antics from time to time  ironic  eh    what about the leads  dammit   and liked the premise behind the film  before i saw the finished product  of course   a dud all the way around  btw  all the talk about this film was that julia roberts was to be in a fat suit for one scene  her character is supposed to have lost 60 pounds   so when the scene finally came  i did get a little excited about what it might look like and then    well  it basically just looked like julia roberts in a fat suit  ugh  i think im gonna start drinking again after this lameass movie  cmon hollywood  enough with the crud  wheres joblo coming from  beautiful  110   my best friends wedding  710   notting hill  510   pretty woman  710  runaway bride  510   someone like you  410   wedding planner  310   when harry met sally  1010   youve got mail  410  
neg	some talented actresses are blessed with a demonstrated wide acting range while others  almost as gifted  have more limited types of parts for which they are suitable  as was amply evident after basic instinct  sharon stone can play sensual roles with great abandon  rejecting her natural abilities  she has spent the rest of her entire career trying with little success to play against type  gloria is her latest disaster  babe ruth didnt quit baseball after one season to play football in a quixotic quest to prove his athletic dexterity  and neither should stone reject what she does best  janeane garofalo  for example  is no less wonderful an actress because she could have never pulled off stones part in basic instinct  neither is stone any less talented because she couldnt do garofalos comedic roles  gloria  directed by respected director sidney lumet and adapted by steve antin from the 1980 screenplay by john cassavetes  was not screened in advance for critics  almost always a sign that the studio isnt behind the picture  after seeing it in a nearly empty audience after it opened  it is clear why they held it from the press  it is a film more to be endured than enjoyed  as the story opens  an angry gloria  stone  is being released from prison after 3 years confinement  shes got a bad attitude and a big mouth  she also has a bad case of wavering and overblown new york accents  a disease suffered by much of the rest of the cast  an annoying child actor named jeanluke figueroa plays a soontobe orphan named nicky  just before his whole family is gunned down by hoods working for glorias exboyfriend kevin  jeremy northam   nickys dad gives him a banana yellow floppy disk with secrets about kevins operation and offers him a piece of fatherly advice   be a man   his father lectures him sternly   dont trust nobody  not no broads  nobody   most of the films leaden dialog is delivered with the emotive power of the automated time and temperature announcements  add in the movies almost nonexistent background noise and the excruciatingly slow pacing  and you can hear the sounds of the lines falling to the ground like stones  lumet places his actors in the frames like fruit in a still life painting  they stand awkwardly mouthing the stiff sentences that pass for discourse    say youre my baby   kevin coos demandingly   im not gonna   gloria pouts back   the movie has a plethora of logical flaws and implausibilites  the kid rarely seems the least bit worried or scared  no matter how many people are after him with guns  trying to kill him  and in one key scene  the yellow floppy he holds is assumed to be the right disk without checking it and is further assumed never to have been copied  gloria  who keeps saying how she hates kids  takes nicky under her wing and protects him from kevin and the bad guys  think her maternal instincts will show up before the movie finally and predictably ends  if you dont know the answer  you may be just the right viewer for this film  you have to say this for stone  she can keep a straight face  when explaining life to a 7yearold kid  she says with utter seriousness   you got a lot of love making to make  you got a lot of boozing to do   gloria runs 1  48  it is rated r for profanity  violence and brief male nudity and would be acceptable for teenagers  
neg	susan grangers review of  ghosts of mars   sony pictures entertainment  horror auteur john carpenter   halloween    vampires   strikes out with this scifi ecofable thats so bad it boggles the mind to imagine how the project ever got greenlit  the script by carpenter and larry sulkis appears to have been lifted directly from last years  pitch black   involving a violent prisoner who must be released from bondage so that he can help a small band of humans protect themselves from bloodthirsty  marauding aliens  in the year 2176  there are 640  000 earthlings on mars  living in a matriarchal society led by a commander  played by pam grier  grier  pillpoppin natasha henstridge  and some rookie mars police officers  clea duvall  jason statham  travel to the remote mining town of shining canyon to fetch  desolation  williams  thats ice cube  to bring him back to chryse city to stand trial for murder  but when theyre besieged by demented  zombielike  bodysnatching miners  they readily free the scowling ice cube since they need him for protection  it seems a red cloud was released from a shining canyon cave and  soon after  most of the miners went bonkers as longdormant remnants of an ancient martian civilization took over their minds and bodies  lopping off heads as  vengeance for anything that tries to lay claim to their planet   according to a scientist  joanna cassidy   carpenter uses so many flashbacks to tell the  night of the living dead  like story that the idiotic plot gets incomprehensibly confusing  but you can easily predict each of the supporting characters who will be killed  along with the order of their elimination  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   ghosts of mars  thuds to a laborious  bottomofthebarrel 1  perhaps  indeed  there is a curse on mars films  if you recall two other duds   mission to mars  and  red planet   
neg	plot  based on the wildly popular  jerry springer  tv show  this movie follows the lives of two groups of people before they make their bizarre appearances on the infamous program  one posse comes from the trailer parks and are to be featured in the  i slept with my stepfather  segment  and the other is based on some flygirl whose girlfriends keep sleeping with her undevoted  dog  boyfriend  critique  the truth is that if i didnt have a day job  i would probably watch the real  jerry springer  show every day  i find it quite entertaining  despite its complete lack of redeeming value  having said that  the show itself is outrageous  funny  and always filled with goofy surprises  as opposed to this film which features no laughs  is this a comedy or a drama    uninteresting and completely unbelievable onedimensional stereotypes  and a contrived plot which bores us stupid all the way  i never thought i would utter the word boring in the same sentence as jerry springer  but this film is an absolute yawnfest  despite offering various scenes featuring simulated blowjobs  lesbians  ta and tv violence  who wouldve guessed that    i wish they would have either a  made this movie much  much funnier  or b  turned it into a complete drama and given us a real perspective as to why people like this actually put themselves through these public forums of embarrassment  unfortunately  it doesnt seem as though screenwriter jon bernstein spent more than a drunken weekend watching real  jerry springer  reruns to complete his script  leaving us with a boring film  featuring no laughs  onedimensional characters  and no fun whatsoever  little known facts about this film and its stars  jerry springer used to be the mayor of cincinnati  ohio  for this film  he won the 1999 razzie award for worst new star  tied with joe esterhas from an alan smithee film  burn hollywood burn  
neg	i never understood what the clich   hell on earth  truly meant until very recently  ive just never experienced anything in my life which was so terrifying  so horrible  so monstrously deplorable that it justified being termed as  hell on earth   after all  ive never been to war  ive never been the victim of any violent crime  ive never really been broken hearted  and ive never been audited  so i really had no frame of reference as to people meant when they said that something was  hell on earth  then i saw cruel intentions  in a perfect world  i would be in charge of all the movie studios  the very first thing id do in this perfect world  would be to take every hollywood producer who thinks that setting any story in contemporary america with a 20something cast playing teenagers and featuring a soundtrack ripped directly from mtv  and throw them in jail  but it wouldnt just be your average jail  not even a maximum security installation  id have these producers  and everyone else involved in the production of these films  put in front of a war crimes tribunal and forced to beg for mercy for their crimes against humanity  now youre probably thinking to yourself   is this really how bad cruel intentions is   the answer is no  its actually much worse  watching the cast of this motion picture atrocity try to act their way through roger kumbles awfully written script is probably a lot like stabbing yourself in the arm with a chainsaw and then pouring salt on the open wound  and then pouring acid on the salt  i dont know if kumble was trying to evoke comedy or tragedy out of his opening scene where marci greenbaum  tara reid  whines about having nude photos of her posted on the internet  but the only emotion i felt was sheer boredom  from that opening scene  where boring actor ryan phillippe tries to seduce tv actress swoosie kurtz  to the conclusion which i dont remember because i had practically fallen asleep  cruel intentions is truly  hell on earth   right up there with war and tax audits  
neg	about an hour or so into  the jackal   a character wandered around as people were being shot at in a big suspense sequence  and one of the audience members in the theatre i saw it in shouted out  i hope she gets killed now   at that point it hit me  i didnt care for any of the characters being played by actors i didnt really like  when the sole reason you care about a character being played by sidney poitier in a suspense film is because hes being played by sidney poitier  you know somethings rotten in the state of denmark  every year  a couple films like this are released  you know  the cheap  action packed international espionnage film  featuring a semipromising premise  some bigname actors  usually bruce willis   and the hopes that some audience members will forget the cold war ended several years ago  this was the third one of 97  following the very lackluster  the saint   which featured an amoral costume changing bond wannabe  and the surprisingly fun  the peacemaker   featuring clooney and kidman trying to stop an almost untraceable villain   the jackal  tries to mix both elements  and you thought  the saint  was bad   the jackal  is loosely  very loosely  i hope  based on the 1973 fred zimmerman classic that ive yet to see   the day of the jackal   which featured  apparently  a suave hitman called the jackal  played by edward fox  trying to assasinate charles degaule  well  welcome to the 90s  where a sorta suave hitman  also called the jackal  bruce willis   trying to kill the head of the fbi    or is he  after being hired by a russian mob lord as a bit of vengeance for the murder of his brother  killed in the opening scenes   the jackal romps all over the northen hemisphere  from helsinki to virginia  setting up an elaborate scheme wherein hell be able to assasinate this person and still get away to live in seclusion  and like the saint  the jackal changes his look over and over and over again to elude people  the agent working on the case  cater preston  sidney poitier  yes  that sidney poitier   working with a russian agent  valentina koslova  diane venora  lady capulet from  romeo  juliet    gives up early on and meets with an exira man  declan mulqueen  richard gere  putting up some tight competition between himself and brad pitt for worst fake irish accent of 97  whos in a massachusetts jail  but who has apparently seen the jackal  who has been eluding the law forever  soon  hes out working with the two untrusting agents  and trying to help them catch him  there are numerous problems with the film  and which one is the biggest one is pretty impossible to put a finger on  the film is supposed to be a big suspense thriller  but save a couple moments  the film never achieves suspense  or even a sense of intrigue  sure  the big assasination attempt is a bit cool looking and even slightly tense  but every other scene in the film is too short and too dull to register  the film never picks up enough to become a thrilling experience  or even an entertaining one  it doesnt help that the plot is designed to be complex  but falls into so many problems  like plot holes and unbelievable circumstances  the script of  the jackal  is a complete mess  mostly because it cant decide what it wants to focus on  is this a film about a man trying to find redemption by catching a nasty killer  is it a film about a nasty  amoral hitman whos in everything for the money  or is it a combination of both   the jackal  aims for the latter  but never focuses in on either character  the connection between the two feels completely edited  so much that in a scene when the jackal turns around and notices declan  you wonder how he recognized him so fast  the worst part is the little past they try to give declan  most notably his relationship with an old girlfriend  isabella  mathilda may   given so little screen time that you almost forget her character exists until she pops up every now and then  the supporting characters are worse  sidney poitier is given a completely unplayable role  that of a man who is just stern sometimes  and other times more giving and likable  what is poitier doing here  hes one of the best living actors  does he really need to waste his time doing drivel like this  diane venoras russian character is almost as bad  with a cigarette perpetually in her mouth  and a plastered on expressionless facade  its not that anyones bad here  its that they have nothing to do  the plot is a joke  feeling like it was pasted together by someone in postproduction who dropped each scene on the floor and pasted them together quickly so it could be released on time  the jackal himself is not even much of an international villain  there are several times where hes in a tight situation and makes things worse for himself  the only explanation being that the filmmakers wanted to toss in a cheap thrill  take a scene where hes being followed by some agents into a parking garage  he quickly sprays his car another color  and adds a solvent that if touched kills the person who touched it  doesnt killing someone attract more attention than it does distract  and does he think dying his hair bottle blond makes him fit in in a public place  geez  is there anything good here  well    a couple things  i did like williss icy expressions  he may not have been real suave or anything  but some of his looks are worth a chuckle  richard gere has a couple of good moments  making his character as likable as he possibly could have  and a couple sequences are kicky in that kind of proposterous  completely inane but fun kinda way  most notably  a sequence where he tests out a new gun on an annoying gun builder  jack black   and a bit where he seduces a gay washington man  which has its share of a couple good jokes  most particular a kiss by willis  but none of these elevate the film any higher than it could go  theyre just little distractions along the way to amuse us mildly then toss us back into the world of dullness and stupidity that is  the jackal   director michael catonjones  who directed the far superior  rob roy   has made a film that is made very couple months  one that is unentertaining  unintriguing  and pretty much cold  but will nevertheless make money because  hey  the trailers do make it look like it may be fun in that kind of retroclancy kinda way  every now and then  the filmmakers get it right   clear and present danger   which was enormous fun in that smart kinda way   but  the jackal  is an example of when they go completely wrong  
neg	 showgirls  is the first bigbudget  bigstudio film to receive an nc17 rating  and its release last year came at a time when senator bob dole and other politicans chastised the entertainment industry for promoting sex and violence  but if  showgirls  is any indication of hollywoods future  the folks in washington should focus their attack on a more dangerous threat to american valuesbad moviemaking   showgirls  is a relentlessly exploitive look at the las vegas strip scene  and the film turns out to be just as trashy as its subject matter  director paul verhoeven and writer joe eszterhas  who collaborated on another shockvalue project  1992s  basic instinct   follow the plight of a young woman  teen tv star elizabeth berkley  determined to make a name for herself as a topless dancer  its a hackneyed premise to begin with  so not surprisingly  all of the stock characters are trucked out  theres the demanding producer  the loyal friend  the bitchy competitor  lest i forget the scummy club owner  of course  any attempt at character development or a coherent storyline is just window dressing for the films main attractionan endless parade of fullfrontal nudity  unfortunately   showgirls  doesnt satisfy in this department  verhoevens slambang  inyourface style of direction proves neither arousing nor erotic  to make matters worse  youll be forced to sit through the movies clothed scenes  which dont cover up for laughable acting and some of the most absurd dialogue ever spoken in film history  verhoeven and ezsterhas deserve credit for trying to break ground  but if its adult entertainment you want  stay home and watch the playboy channel  youll be the wiser for it  
neg	heres a concept  jeanclaude van damme gets killed within the first ten minutes of the movie  now if that isnt enough to get you to finally see a van damme movie  i dont know what is  all sarcasm aside  it is certainly a different way to start a movie  of course a few minutes later we find out that the newly deceased had a twin brother  so lucky us  we get to see more of jeanclaude  van damme 1 works for the russian mafia in the united states and is killed by some of their operatives  van damme 2 is a police officer in france who finds out that he had a twin brother he never knew about after 1 gets killed in france  the remaining twin  the french cop  goes to the united states to find out who killed his brother and avenge his death  once there  he hooks up with his deceased brothers girlfriend  played by natasha henstridge  and the two of them set out to discover who the murderers are  jeanclaudes acting abilities dont seem to be up to the usual lackluster standards in this movie  in other words  just in case you missed the sarcasm  his acting is worse than normal  on the upside  natasha henstridge is in this film  and she does what she did best in species  she gets naked  sadly  this is probably the high point in the movie  she is actually a decent actress  but didnt improve as much as i thought she would after species  this is the typical van damme movie  with jeanclaude doing a variety of high end martial arts moves on his opponents  nothing new here  and certainly nothing we havent seen in every other van damme movie  simply put  there is absolutely nothing new about this movie  it has a retread plot  this isnt the first time jeanclaude has played twins  he still cant act  we all saw natashas breasts in species  although this is one repeat performance im not complaining about   this is pretty much like every movie that van damme has ever been involved in  sub par  
neg	what makes reindeer games even more disappointing than just a predictable  lifeless action flick is the cast and crew who signed onto the project  most of the people involved in reindeer games just came off terrible slumps with excellent comeback performances in their most recent films  john frankenheimer  who made the unforgettable cold war drama the manchurian candidate way back in the early 60s  recently showed critics and fans alike that he still had some magic left in his directorial skills when he created the brilliant car chase scenes in ronin  screenwriter ehren kruger gave a remarkable first impression when he wrote the script for the underrated arlington rd  ben affleck displayed his comedic talents in dogma and boiler room  and even on saturday night live directly after the horrible forces of nature and 200 cigarettes  even charlize theron  who i was convinced couldnt act  did a decent job in cider house rules  when all of these bright stars come together  one would assume that the movie will have great potential to be entertaining  after coming out of the theater showing reindeer games  disbelief was my first reaction  then frustration  the movie could have premiered on cinemax at two in the morning starring an allrookie cast and still would have been equally lacking in entertaining  the acting is so pitiful and the script so dull  i may have to rethink some of my opinions on how talented these actors actually are  it seemed like everyone was restricted to just the script and not given a fair amount of improvisational rights  we have all seen ben affleck have some fun on the set  it is so apparent in a number of scenes in good will hunting when he exchanges jokes with his friends at a bar  the actors in that movie were having fun and  from that  the audience had fun  reindeer games is the complete opposite  the actors dont seem to want to be their characters  even danny trejo  who will do practically anything  doesnt look like he is enjoying himself   causing the audience to quickly lose interest  evidence of public disapproval was noted when a woman behind me yelled  boy this movie is horrible   and when there were scattered giggles during the most dramatic moments  the story follows a man  rudy  ben affleck   who is leaving prison in a few days along with his best friend and cellmate nick  james frain   nick has been exchanging love letters with a beautiful woman  ashley  charlize theron   and cannot wait to leave prison and meet her in person  when nick is killed in a prison riot  rudy decides to pretend to be nick and take ashley out on a date for the christmas holidays  unfortunately ashleys brother  gabriel  gary sinise  interferes with their relationship  thinking rudy is nick  he kidnaps rudy and threatens to kill him unless he helps rob a casino  which nick use to work at as a security guard  now rudy must pretend to be nick so he can protect ashley from her brother gabriel  confused  the movie only gets more complex as it goes on  until it gets way  way too complex at its climax  but reindeer games makes its first serious mistake during the first half an hour  the hero commits a greedy  selfish act when he decides to pretend he is his dead cellmate in order to date ashley  some hero  the point of a hero is to do the morally correct thing  a person for the audience to relate to or admire  when rudy lies and cheats his way into trouble  instead of gathering support from me for him to ultimately succeed in getting the bad guys  i felt more like he was getting what he deserved and even wanted to see him fail at times  the most irritating part of the film  besides the fact that this is a christmas movie released in february  is the number of chances the bad guys get to kill rudy but fail or delay for some idiotic reason  the routine in which the bad guy must explain his genius plan to the hero before attempting to kill him with some elaborate machine is getting so tired nowadays  especially when i eagerly want to see the hero dead  the only saving grace keeping this movie from receiving zero stars is an amusing but pointless cameo from isaac hayes as a prisoner upset with his food  why he was in this movie for such a pointless role beats me  why any of these people had anything at all to do with this movie beats me  
neg	 dreamworks skg  running time  2 hours starring robert duvall  tea leoni and elijah wood directed by mimi leder the first of the two asteroid movies coming out this year  the second is the macho armageddon  is actually a dull affair  elijah wood plays leo biederman  who during astronomy class discovers that a large asteroid is heading for earth  tea leoni plays a  rather crap  news reporter  jenny lerner  who soon discovers about this asteroid through a very long winded and boring way  and robert duvall plays the leader of a space crew  spurgeon tanner  who are planning to blow the asteroid out of the path of earth  also featuring is morgan freeman as the president  and maximilian schell and vanessa redgrave as jennys father and mother  while many people will walk into the film expecting a big special effects fest with the asteroid blowing everything up  as the trailers seem to promise   the film is actually more of a character study  if a very poor one  the main problem is that there are too many characters in the film  and not enough time to explore them all  only the space crew are given any depth  jenny lerner  leo and the president are surprisingly 2d  and we never get to know these characters  and because i couldnt care for them  i didnt really give a crap if the asteroid killed them or not  the script by bruce joel rubin and michael tolkin is horribly simple  and never really makes any interesting statements  mimi leder  the former er director and director of the average the peacemaker  1996   again directs in a hohum style  and never really gets any emotion out of a scene  which is a shame  the cast are seemingly on autopilot  although tea leoni does gives a rather good performance  even if she acts a bit too dorky for her own good  she seems uncommonly stupid for a journalist  robert duvall is on autopilot with a underwritten role  he just seems to be in this film for the money  elijah wood  one of the best child actors working today  is surprisingly average  although his choice of roles lately havent exactly been brilliant  i  e  flipper  1996   his role is also vastly underwritten  morgan freeman  again  is utterly wasted with a ridiculously underwritten role  like duvall  he just seems to be in the film for the money  the supporting cast are all o  k  none making much of an impression  ok  so deep impact may have messed up character wise  but surely the special effects are good  well  yes and no  although the special effects should be impressive  with a massive tidal wave destroying new york  the special effects look like  well  special effects  sadly  the waves looks like its been drawn on computer  and doesnt look too good at all  surprising really  when the effects are done by industrial light  magic  who did the effects for the lost world and twister  in the end  deep impact is a wasted opportunity  what could of been a moving movie with good effects turns out to be a dud in both characters and effects  the 2 hours the film had could have been used to much greater effect  once again  dreamworks has churned out another average movie  lets hope armageddon is a bit better  overall rating review by david wilcock web space provided by geocities 
neg	seen may 2  1998 at 3  40 p  m  at the crossgates cinema 18  theater 13  with chris wessell and sean oshea for 5  theater rating     12  very good sound  picture  and seats the bigbudget  megahype  event  movie is becoming so trendy now it is becoming a weekly routine instead of a seasonal one  gluttony is hollywoods favorite sin  but it is the moviegoers who pay the price by being dealt the same things over and over on an everworsening basis   lost in space  is the latest such offering  a film so poor it would be twice as good if it were mediocre  its made up of every element of science fiction  but at no time does it evoke the slightest amount of wonderment the genre was meant for  audiences attention spans are rapidly decreasing and as is the trend with such films  this one opens with a fastpaced space battle which serves not only as the most interesting scene in the film  probably because it has  star wars  written all over it   but as the producers way of showing off their budget through the special effects  battle scenes are worthless without tension  and since we have no idea what the setting is its impossible to care about anything that happens  in essence  the entire segment works like a teaser for an arcade game  not a piece of filmmaking  we meet the robinson family  a family of five that does not get along but has been chosen to act on earths behalf in effort to find another planet worthy of colonization due to the exhausting of our natural resources  each member of the family has a special trait and personality  and yet none of them seem like actual people  professor john robinson  hurt  is the intelligent  quiet leader who has devoted so much time to his work his family and marriage are suffering without his realizing it  its obvious what role this aspect will play   of course this is all established through extremely melodramatic scenes such as the children and parents arguing and bickering among themselves and with each other  while the necessary problems are  resolved  at the right moments  the only thing worse than the screenplay is the fact its presented in a completely serious manner without a trace of satire  and is so pathetic its laughable  the first act is not a building of a story  but a juxtaposition of scenes that serve no purpose other than to plug in all the required elements  such as plot  conflict  and characterization  god forbid    were provided with the minimum amount possible of these elements to keep the film from being completely silent  in fact  it might as well be since the dialogue is virtually nonexistent  yes  the characters do speak  but they do not talk  they say things that only relate to the conflict  but they never really interact  unless its the cartoony flirting scenes between arrogant major don west  leblanc  and uptight  unemotional judy robinson  graham    its amazing that after an hour of trite dialogue and generic plot devices that so little happens  eventually the pacing rapidly increases  but the amount of genuine interest does not  the story finally gains some prospective by living up to its title as the robinsons find themselves lost in space after narrowly managing to defeat dr  smith  oldman   the cartoony villain  and his plans for sabotage  what ensues is a series upon series of completely unrelated conflicts  the first such scene takes place on an abandoned spaceship and what ensues could best be described as  alien  lite  the story changes again when the robinsons crash land on an alien planet and must act quickly to escape it and survive  but theres never any real notion of suspense here because the script constantly wanders aimlessly  plotlines are developed  but each becomes totally irrelevant as the story changes from scenario to scenario  the atmosphere attempts to be surreal by incorporating time travel and various time paradoxes  but its presented in such a ridiculous way its utterly boring  by the time the last act rolls around  there is no sense of a payoff building  the ending does not go out on a high note with any kind of climax  instead  it seems to come to a sudden halt  but at least it ends at all    lost in space  is major film production at its worst  its frightening that a film so poorly written  directed  and acted might be considered mainstream entertainment  
neg	the only thing worse than watching a bad movie is realizing that the film had a lot of potential and couldve been effective  such is the case with urban legend  the new horror film from first time director jamie blanks  the idea behind the movie is that the mad slasher of the film muders people according to various urban legends  examples include the killer in the backseat of the car and person getting calls from inside her house  the killer wears one of those l  l  bean parkas with the hood drawn completely up  so you cant see the face  i guess halloween masks are out of style for psychos these days  anyhow  the premise is certainly a nifty one and the opening scene is spooky and atmospheric  its a very good setup that promises more chills to come  unfortunately  the film never takes off from there  the movie takes place on a peaceful new england college campus  like most slasher flicks  this one also centers around a young female main character whose friends are slowly killed off by a knife wielding maniac  or in this case an axe wielding maniac   ive always wondered why these killers dont save themselves a lot of time and trouble and just go after the person they ultimately aim to kill  after the fine first scene  the movie degenerates into a monotonous series of those annoying youthoughtitwasthekillerbutwasjust someoneelse scares  these are always accompanied by loud bursts of music  i guess sudden  sharp music chords are what passes for terror these days  the actual killer will attack at about every third music blast  the slasher appears  attacks  the victim is eviscerated  and the tedious cycle appears anew  false scares should always be used in moderation  someone needs to tell director blanks that things like this just arent as scary as they used to be  this movie commits the biggest sin a horror film can commitits not frightening  remember the horror movie cliches that were so mercilessly mocked in scream and scream 2  this movie still adheres to them  tons of illogical moments about  more than i really have the inclination to list  and i dont mean illogical in the summer popcorn movie sense  that type of illogical can be fun  this film insults your intelligence more times than i care to remember  the last 20 minutes especially degenerates into such lunacy that youll be laughing more than youll be screaming  actually  you wont be screaming at all  at its best  the acting can barely be called  adequate  and the script couldve definitely used a rewrite or two  the film still manages to have some strong points  the killings are certainly inventive and plentiful enough to satistfy most gore fans  there are some intentionally funny moments   these were exceeded by the unintentional ones   the film is well made from a technical standpoint  besides the first part  there is also another good scene  a prolonged cat and mouse chase inside a radio station  if there had only been more sequences like this  that relied on tautness and suspense rather than loud bursts of music  urban legend mightve been worth your money  
neg	my opinion on a film can be easily swayed by the presence of actors i love  i love ralph fiennes  i love uma thurman  i love sean connery  hell  im even a big fan of jim broadbent and fiona shaw  i saw the fantastic preview for the avengers nearly eight months ago  and ive been eagerly awaiting the film ever since  a few months into the summer  however  i noticed that its release date had been changed a few times  and that it had ended up in the midaugust dumping ground  then  in this final week before its official release  i learned that it was not to be screened for critics  and that the actors had not been plugging the film on late night programs  and that it was directed by the same man who brought us the remake of diabolique  my expectations fell to pieces when i learned all of these things  the film i saw today didnt even meet those expectations  this is a lousy  incoherent mess  i would slam it harder  if it werent for the nifty sets and the mere presence of all these fine  lovable actors  but sets are ultimately empty  and the performances are completely uninspired  thats the main problem with the avengers  for all its hiphop flash and tidal waves  none of it feels the least bit energetic or inspired  its like a chore  a bland exercise in superhero film making  it also feels like its been cut to pieces  clocking in at 90 minutes and forgetting to close some of its own subplots  this is just plain depressing  the avengers is a film version of the popular 60s television show  frequent readers of mine will not be surprised to learn that ive never watched an episode  i wasnt alive then  i dont even watch television now  im very sorry that i dont have this perspective  but  judging from the reviews ive already read  knowing the tv show just makes matters worse  i didnt know and love john steed and emma peel  and therefore i was not as upset to see how these actors i love have managed to thrash their roles  i also doubt that familiarity with the series would allow me to understand more clearly the chain of events that do take place in this film  based on what the film told me  i gather that steed  fiennes  is some kind of british super guy  somewhat like james bond   and that dr  peel  thurman  is just a really smart doctor  who also happens to know a lot about weather and about beating people up while limited by tight leather suits  they are to work together  under mothers orders  mother is played by jolly jim broadbent  while his coconspirator  father  is played by the equallytalented fiona shaw   it seems that there is a man out there controlling the weather  his name is de wynter  connery   he is a crazy scottish guy  our heroes had better stop him  or else    the weather will keep getting colder until they  have to go to hell to warm up   one of the films few funny lines   along the way there is subplot after subplot  hinged sloppily together by scenes that go nowhere  feel perfunctory  and ultimately make no sense  for example  our heroes are eventually attacked by a swarm of giant mechanical insects with machineguns attached to their torsos  now  killer bugs dont really go with the weathercontrolling theme of the film  the purpose of the bugs  other than to annihilate our heroes  is never established  theyre never even directly connected to de wynter  theyre controlled by his crazy henchman  played by eddie izzard   the special effects arent bad  but theyre loud  obnoxious  and intrusive  like so many scenes in the film  it seems present only to keep your attention from waning  and i guarantee you  it will wane  i stopped thinking about the story when i realized it didnt do any good to think  the avengers has clearly been chopped up and reassembled so many times that even the people involved couldnt tell us what happens  there are several scenes in the preview that didnt make the final cut  in addition  many of the sequences have irritating  grainy film quality  which makes it feel lowbudget  the last scene is particularly bad   the scenes that dont feature action should be electric  thanks to our wonderful cast  they arent  the action scenes should be electric  because this is an action film  they arent  either  and what about this wasted cast  oh  it makes me weep with disappointment  were talking ralph fiennes here  one of the best actors working today  one of the best actors  ever   i love the guy  ive loved all his films  until this one  he seems like he wants to understand the film  but hes as lost as we are  and thurman  in all of her spectacular beauty and talent  cant manage to look at home here   i dont blame her completely  for there is a strange subplot involving her evil twin that is never explained in any way  and it cant be easy to deal with such terrible screenwriting   connery  however  seems the most out of it  totally lacking any kind of focus  or interest  for that matter  who is to blame  is it the screenwriter  don macpherson  perhaps  although i can see a shell of a story here that could have been a good superhero movie had it been handled right  is it the actors  for gods sake  no  these people clearly lost interest when they saw the inevitable path of destruction on which this film was travelling  i blame director jeremiah chechik  who shouldnt have been given the task to begin with  his best film  benny  joon  is quirky in the same way that this one was supposed to be  but here it mostly seems like a lot of failed attempts at wit and humor  add to that a lack of experience in bigbudget action  and you have the worst choice for director this side of james ivory  if the avengers has a saving grace  its the set design  the sets  by stuart craig  are big  colorful  and often pleasing to look at  i like the final setpiece  on de wynters island  even if none of it makes a bit of sense  i admired the overhead view of the stairs  showing dr  peel running around in circles and never getting anywhere  i also enjoyed michael kamens music score  particularly in the opening credits  but this stuff is routine  good sets and music are nice  but theres a lot more that needs to be here  inspiration  for instance  would have been really nice  maybe a little bit of cohesion in the story  or a sense of purpose  most of all  though  i would have liked to see these actors relish in their roles  damn this movie for not giving them the chance  
neg	if snake eyes were a dog  youd put it to sleep  if it was a couch  youd put it out on the sidewalk  where it would sit for a week  if it were your child  youd be reading military school catalogs  if it were a ship  no  it wouldnt be the titanic  that would imply glamor and tragedy  it would be the exxon valdez   personal side note  i saw this movie on the road during a houston business trip  for whatever reason  my hotels cable system wasnt showing the astrosbraves game  which featured a randy johnsongreg maddux matchup  this forced me to pay full price for snake eyes instead of watching a perfectly good baseball game for free  so the invective  deserved as it is  should be seen in that perspective   snake eyes is supposed to be a mystery movie  and good mystery movies are supposed to leave you asking yourself questions on the way out of theater  snake eyes is not a good mystery movie  but i had some questions  wheres the manager  and how do i get a readmit pass  if i fall asleep on the drive home and wreck my rentacar  can i sue brian de palma  is it too late for the academy to revoke nicolas cages oscar  will someone please  im begging you  give gary sinise a role worthy of his talents  and how  exactly does cage end up wearing the exact same shirt and tie as sinise does  the first and most glaringly wrong thing with snake eyes is the trailer  if youve seen the trailer without seeing the movie  consider yourself fortunate  the trailer is a work of sheer genius  it manages to convey everything worthy of the movie  the noteworthy steadicam work  the exuberance of cages performance as a thoroughly corrupt atlantic city policeman  the essential elements of the marginal plot  the expert craftsman who pieced together a fairly good trailer out of snippets of a wretched movie deserves praise and a percentage of the gross   is a best trailer category at the oscars that farfetched  after all   but all it does is set us up for an overwhelmingly disappointing movie  the trailer sets up what should have been a promising plot  detective ricky santoro  cage  must solve the mystery of who shot the secretary of defense at an atlantic city payperview boxing match  unfortunately  there are multiple problems afoot  the trailer gives away much  too much of the story  the shooter is killed instantly  so the story revolves around why the secretary was killed and who is involved in the conspiracy  the films secret is hohum at best  and anyone who has watched the trailer and is aware of the law of economy of characters can figure out who the top conspirator is  without an interesting plot  without interesting dialogue  and without much of a reason to care about the characters or the story  snake eyes is a failure on almost every possible level  as much as i hated this movie  i must give brian de palma one tiny bit of credit  de palma is maddeningly inconsistent  he can  on his day  create amazingly welldone movies  the untouchables  carlitos way   on offdays  he can be  well  just horrid  the bonfire of the vanities  raising cain   snake eyes falls into the horrid category  but there are a couple of moments that are worth seeing strictly for their filmschool degreeofdifficulty value  the steadicam opening scene does a good job of introducing the cage character and is a virtuoso technical job by both the director and the actor  there is a splitscreen chase scene that looks pretty good  and its followed by a gods eye view of a bank of hotel rooms thats imaginitively done  this is whats called giving the devil his due  but the technical skill doesnt even come close to making up for the sheer evil of this movie  placing plot holes to one side for a moment  snake eyes features easily the worst boxing match in cinema history  george foreman is in better shape than the movie boxers   a hurricane that exists for no other reason than to punctuate significant plotlines with portentuous thunderclaps  and perhaps the worst  most overly drawn out ending in years  snake eyes is a criminal act  an evil waste of time and talent  cage  sinise  and yes  even de palma deserve better  the audience deserves better  but no refund  no readmit pass  no free popcorn coupon  can ever restore to us the time weve spent or wash the awful images from our mind  however  we are left with one consolation  that we were warned by the movies title  because snake eyes is nothing more than a roll of craps  
neg	the last line  or near to that honor  is the great butler  alfred  the ubergod  michael gough  saying   i think we need a bigger bat cave   or something to that note  thats exactly what this film is  too big for its own good because it has too damn much  cut batgirl out  cut one of the villains  its too much to handle in one dosage  its so much that characters get left behind  poor elle gets a mere 3 scenes and a subplot which is introduced but never finished in any way  shape or form  and elle deserves better  this is the fourth in the gigantic film series and the second from director joel schumacher  its also the fourth worst in the series  and second worst from joel   the series has been declining since its stunning debut  followed by the almostasstunning sequel and then the anticlimactic third one  first by joel   this ones not anticlimactic  i knew it was gonna suck  its up to joel to make it fun though   batman forever  was fun  this is a big bore of overproduced action sequences and shallow characters  i mean  this one bit  im gonna put all the plot in one paragraph  mr  freeze  ahnold   whos wife was dying of some disease  has become the new big villain these days  hes a huge exscientist who fell into some weird liquid  hello  joker   and now has a body temperature of a big fat zero and has a blue body  batman  george  and robin  chris  fight him a bit but find theyre growing apart  meanwhile  another villain shows up  poison ivy  uma    who was a dorky scientist chick working on flowers in south america with a twistet scientist  john glover  who kills her when she finds out hes used her research to develop an uberman  bane  who is basically a man pumped with chemicals which probably killed any personality he ever had  she emerges from her chemicals  dont ask cause i cant tell ya  as a sexy woman  the real uma  whos poison when or if you kiss her and has some aphrodiasiatic scent she blows at people  she starts to tear away at the dynamic duo  meanwhile  alfreds dying of the same disease mr  freezes wife has  but in an earlier state than she   and his niece  barbara  alicia   comes all the way from oxford without an english accent to get him away from the butler trade  but soon  well  not really soon  it takes her 2 hours  becomes batgirl  meanwhile  in an unfinished subplot  bruce  batmans alterego  if you forgot  has been dating the lovely julie madison  the even lovlier elle macpherson  who wants a commitment after a year but he says nothing  end of her for all we know  mr  freeze ultimately teams with poison ivy and they want to freeze the world and then take it over growing new plants as their population  dont ask      the trio must team together  as family  to beat them  there ya go  not the whole story but no big context clues  too much  right  right  the films seems patched together of nice little ideas which would have made for a couple good sequels  however  while tim burton nicely balanced the villainbatman storyline  although not wonderfully   joel seems to do almost nothing with batman in this one  he gets some corny speeches  a couple clever lines and thats it  maybe some stunts  for all this  i cant even comment on george clooney as batman  i hardly saw the guy  and when i did  he had horrible dialogue to say  i think michael keaton is the quintessential batman but val kilmer was too robotic and fake as batman in the last episode  george is in between them  hes not quintessential  hes not horrible  hes good  but im sure next time when they decide to renovate the series since theyll be critically murdered for this sorry effort  well get a good script and clooney will shine  if he still has the job   the villains are the only interesting part of the series according to schumacher  last time  we had the brawn of two face as played by tommy lee jones and the brainscomedy supplied by the riddler as realized by jim carrey  this time we have a somewhat sympathetic and somewhat hatable villain  the same guy   mr  freeze  we feel bad for his mentalphysical collapse but does he really need to kill everyone for plants  arnold isnt very good  too hokey but kinda sympathetic at some points  when he watches old movies of his wife  he actually looks somber  wow  but uma makes the most of her seductive character  getting the right point between hamminess and seductiveness  its like shes almost parodying herself in  pulp fiction  at points  shes incredibly hot and makes the movie pretty much a star better  as for the lower batpeople  chris is the same as he was in  batman forever   although i think his work in these is too hokey when hes best at quieter parts in  scent of a woman  or just plain cool parts in  fried green tomotoes   alicia  i love the girl but shes not particularly good in this film  she can hypotheitically act  we all saw that in  clueless   but her lines kinda sound weird  and it isnt the mushymouth this time  but in all fairness  she has virtually no part  joel gets around to her occasionally and when shes on  she does stupid stuff    although i know im not the only one who loved the catfight between her and uma    and poor elle  poor  poor elle  i love that woman and she can also hypothetically act  for those of us who saw  sirens    but she has no part    it seems like joel had so much footage that he had to edit almost an hour out of the final product  there are no  couch  scenes  like my best friend noticed   now listen to me on this one  in every  batman  flick  theres a couch scene  in the original  it was with vicki  in  returns   it was a good makeout scene with selena  and in the last one  it was a chat with nicole  this one  its nothing  and batgirl does nexttonothing in this film till the end when shes suddenly  part of the family   fortunately  we get a lot of alfred  hes the always reliable butler  in case you didnt know  who has been with bruce all his life  hes a god  hes a father figure  hes also dying  this got to me  i love alfred almost as much as bruce and to see him in a robe  not in his tux  and freaking dying just gets to me  we also get the idea that he might have been unhappy the whole time    but this is never answered  as this film is too cluttered  but in defense  it does have some good parts  other than uma  for one  george is a good batman but unfortunately gets nothing to do  and there are some nice touches  when they show the asylum at one point  they show the patients belongings in a room and we see the riddlers costume  i laughed  and during a biker scene  involving robin and batgirl  another subplot never handled past initiation period   we not only see coolio but a bunch of badasses dressed as  droogs  from  a clockwork orange   i laughed at all these  the film falls apart around the fiveminute mark during an enormously long action sequence which must last around 20 minutes    or did it just feel like that  the film should serve as another in the longline of films which demonstrate that we need more intelligent films nowadays  people are fed up with stupid films  thats why the word of mouth killed  the lost world   thats why last year  indy films grossed more than ever  thats why this will have a strong boxoffice initative from people who just want to see it  like me  but will die after a week or two when the word around the grapevine kills it  thats why the next two bigbudget aciton pics are john woos  faceoff  and barry sonnenfelds  men in black   both which are the first two to catch on to the wave early on  i like joel schumacher more as a person than an artiste  i like some of his films   flatliners    a time to kill   but a lot of them suck  hes a really eccentric person and i loved one of his quotes about how he admits to being a mediocre director and thats what makes him great  but his costuming for woody allens  sleeper  was more interesting than this one  and his costuming was cool  look for the nazi number   i love the  batman  series  the first two rocked and i did like the last one  but this one is not going to be one that i watch repeatedly like the other three  hopefully  this will also serve as a springboard to a better batman next time  and maybe theyll get smart and bring back catwoman  and michael keaton  but we can only hope  
neg	writers  dennis feldman and jonathan hensleigh  based on the comic book by chuck pfarrer  starring  jamie lee curtis  william baldwin  donald sutherland  joanna pacula  sherman augustus  marshall bell  cliff curtis  julio oscar mechoso i suppose im not extremely surprised that  virus  comes to us from a deciple of james cameron  john bruno   and if i strain real hard  i could even say that its an obvious given  particuarly looking from the standpoint of mr  camerons early works  in fact   virus  is yet another in the long line of actionhorrorparanoia thrillers from the  aliens  vein  a group of people are dropped into a mysterious situation only to find a mortallythreatening entity is out to get them  a textbook example hailing all the way back to the early talkies  and maybe even to the first pictures  albeit redeveloped by cameron in his 1986 blockbuster that earned him esteem and bigger budgets to come in his future  no such thing will happen to bruno  whom i believe worked in some capacity on that quasilandmark feature  while bruno may have studied under camerons wing for years and years  im beginning to wonder at what capacity  and what exactly did he learn from him  in fact   virus  should at least be mediocre  the fact that bruno could have worked under a man like cameron  a director who  if anything  just knows how to make a movie  and then make a film like  virus  is just another detraction fairly aimed at this zgrade schlockfest of a film  albeit a zgrade schlockfest with a respectable budget  the film seems to not only borrow its plot from last years similarlyfated  deep rising   but also from a clunkish bmovie from the 80s called  leviathan   an underwater thriller starring peter weller  richard crenna  hector elizando  and daniel stern about a group of miners who stumble upon an alien lifeform that was part  alien   part john carpenters twisted remake of  the thing    virus   again  has a similar  uh  selling point  a group of sailors on a boat stumble upon a russian cruiser that is dead in the water  they get on  they break up into pairs and investigate  and they find an alien lifeform on board that comes in the form of energy  has taken over all the machines on board  have meshed the machines with parts from corpses  and have deemed humankind their enemy because of a misquote in the dictionary  ha ha   not that any of this is for a second scary or the least bit involving  not only does this film start off with a chintzy bondian opening  the destruction of the cruiser via a satellite transmission from mir   destroying any of the suspense in what could happen  but it also fails to bring us any interesting chracters  of its motley crew  it only choses as its potentially eccentric cast of characters a lead woman skipper  a masculine potentialromanticinterest  a drunken captain  a black technician  a tatooed aborigine  a manic russian survivor  and a couple other candidates for alien food  none whom are the least bit interesting or more dimensional than a thin  plain piece of writing paper  and its not the traditional argument for films like these  where you may in fact want them all to be eaten  even  aliens  played with the karma of the arrogant soldiers  but this was more of a plusside for the film as a whole than the opposite   instead  as another cliche goes  you just dont give a damn  i almost dont even have to say that the acting from everyone ranges from subpar to horrific  the former being jamie lee curtis in the lead showing off what a strong female lead she is  and she is  just not really here  and the latter being  and it pains me to say this as hes a particular favorite of mine  donald sutherland  who plays the captain so poorly and without a second of credibility that this will go down as the performanceofwhichheshouldbeashamed  like anthony hopkins for  legends of the fall   the line  scrooooooo em  has been thus embroidered upon my membrance   or peter otoole in  caligula   great actor  horrific performance  it happens every now and then  and it only helps sutherlands career that no one  except for an elite few  even bothered to see this film  though it has sat on the shelves of universal studios for about two years  waiting until it can be released and make as much money as it possibly can  read  early january  when everyones still trying to catch up on the potential oscarnominees   it does show that universal shelled out a pretty penny to make this film  its laden with complex machinery  boasts respectable production design  and it may even feature believable special effects    if  of course  i  or anyone else  could see them   virus  mostly takes place on a large  abandoned cruiser  and mostly at night until the dawn  and mostly without the use of lights  not so much for the productivity of the alien creatures in their pursuit of their human prey  but more so because  as the hollywood cliche seems to go   if its dark enough  then the special effects will be more believable   and if you dont believe me  go back and rent  godzilla   and tell me if theres even one shot where we see godzilla either a  in his entirety in one wide shot  or b  n the light so that we can at least see him  well  you dont really have to sit through it again  just take my word for it   but all of this doesnt matter since  virus  is basically just one loud  cluttered mess of a movie  the action scenes are muddled and as difficult to follow as any action movie ive ever seen  my  um  favorite part was the scene where a trio of them end up somehow on the outside of the ship  during a five minute bouillabaisse of tidal waves  rain  and any other oceanextremeties the film can cook up  then end up back in the ship when one of them is revealed to have apparently drowned  well  i must say  thanks for telling me afterwards because i sure couldnt figure it out when i saw it   imagine the first attack of the aliens in  aliens   shot from the pov of the soldiers and then the authorities in the battle car if it was all hard to follow and done without any dramatic intensity  and thats basically the whole of  virus   one horriblydirected action scene after the other  capping it off with a proposterous gadget that saves the day and at least a couple of the original cast members  and my god  its a long damn sit  with no interesting characters  no dramatic urgency  no tension  not one good moment of action  and no mesmerizing visuals  its a wonder that it even got made  we already know that big movie studios mentality is shallow at best  and movies like  out of sight  and  saving private ryan  give you more faith in them  but movies like  virus  manage to drain a little more out of the pool  i almost wish that instead of making this movie  john bruno had gone cinema verite and captured the meetings with universal heads when they gave this film a green light  they read the script  they knew they were entrusting millions upon millions of dollars into a director who might have very well been a cameron hack  and he is   and they still went ahead with the project  only to have bruno and company shit back in their face  even though i hold universal in contempt for making this horrible movie  id say even more contempt should be aimed at mr  bruno for making a movie that could be this bad  in fact  shouts of  egad  man  what were you doing when you worked for cameron anyway   are not only justifiable  but encouraged  
neg	deuce bigalow  rob schneider  cleans fish tanks  yeah  i didnt know that was a real job either  one of his customers is antoine leconte  oded fehr   a successful gigolo  when antoine has to go to sweden for three weeks  he lets deuce use his house to look after an ailing 800 fish  fooling around  deuce sets fire to the kitchen and smashes a 6000 fish tank  after taking a try at one of antoines clients and earning 10  deuce decides to prostitute himself to raise the money to replace the fish tank before the fierytempered antoine returns  enter t  j   eddie griffin   a pimp for  manwhores   who arranges for deuce to service an assortment of women whose imperfections keep them from dating  theres an enormous woman  played by transvestite porn star chi chi la rue  who hides food in her clothes  theres claire  gail ogrady  whose narcolepsy causes her to fall asleep every few minutes  tina  torsten voges  is so tall her face doesnt fit on the screen  and ruth  amy poehler  has tourettes syndrome and shouts obscenities without warning  finally theres kate  arija bareikis  whose sorority sisters secretly paid her fare  she seems perfect  and deuce quickly falls in love with her   she does  we discover later  have an imperfection  but deuce decides it isnt important   deuces life is complicated by a bothersome cop  william forsythe  looking for information on antoine and by kates discovery of his manwhoring  however  neither threat generates much suspense  the formula is so familiar that we know how it will end from the start   deuce bigalow  is the first project from adam sandlers company happy madison  the formation of which assures that well be seeing the sandler style of comedy massproduced at an increasing rate in years to come  be afraid  be very afraid  the good news is that sandler doesnt actually appear in  deuce  and that rob schneider and eddie griffin are funnier than sandler  schneider has a sweetness that makes the clueless but goodhearted deuce believable  griffins delivery is deadon  especially in the coining of  technical terms  for t  j  s profession  as in  dont make me hebitch manslap you   theres the expected amount of toilet humor in  deuce    for one thing  deuces dad is a mens room attendant   does anyone over the age of eight actually find bowel movements that funny  for most of us  i think that childhood fascination with bodily functions disappears when we hit the farside of puberty and discover how funny sex is  i  for one  will be glad when the toilet trend is finally flushed  bottom line   deuce  doesnt offer anything new but it is intermittently funny  
neg	this is your definitive  hollywood  movie  extremely predictable  following the basic formula  a horrible ending   overzealous writing  meaning the writing was bad and seemed as if it were trying too hard to make it exciting  therefore making it look as if many things were merely tossed in there to fill space  and if tommy lee jones and his lovable wiseass character  of which weve seen before in the fugitive and quite frankly  wasnt used enough here   im afraid the film would have been completely unbearable  in this film  ashley judd plays a women who is wrongfully convicted of killing her husband while out sailing for a weekend  while in jail she finds out that her husband really is alive and that he framed the murder on her  over money  how original   while in jail she works out  exercises and basically does her best to get into near perfect condition  now she has learned about a law titled  double jeopardy  stating that if she serves her full sentence and get out she could kill her husband and the law could not touch her  although there has been talk that this is not the way the actual law works   now her po  parole officer   and a bunch of cops are chasing after her and are conflicted whether or not to believe her claims  skipping over to the acting  the fact that judd is more of a looker than an actress  no offense  she has been good simon birch and even very good to great kiss the girls at times  in the past and i believe may have the potential to be better    but shes terribly unconvincing in this and her performance seems stale and unsatisfying  doesnt really add to the movie at all  just takes away  as id said  jones was fine  although he did not have much to work with  he was much more of a supporting character  which is fine  and he handled it well  especially considering the material he had to work with  i feel this film had alot going for it  originality not being an issue  the acting was the only thing  as i said  keeping it alive  the plot seemed pretty intriguing and could have been as well if applied better  the action scenes were well made  however sometimes out of place   i was just left unsatisfied in the long run  so basically some of the action may have been exciting but genuinely overthought  the plot has certainly been done before  generally speaking   the movie moves way too fast for us to get involved in either the characters or the plot  and is basically a film that was almost saved by tommy lee jones  who if he had some more screentime  could perhaps have earned the film a higher rating  in my book  anyway  keep this in mind  if youre in the mood for a good action film  rent the fugitive  d 
neg	deadbang  an action thriller starring don johnson  lives up to its dumb title  or at least to half of it  although deadbang is definitely dead  it is anything but a bang  in fact  they should have called this one  dead bore   in the film  johnson plays    you guessed it    a cop  the role must have been really challenging for johnson since his character  jerry beck  is a gritty los angeles homicide detective  a real stretch from the slick vice detective johnson portrayed on  miami vice   a la mel gibson in lethal weapon  beck is an emotional wreck  complete with violent outbursts  unscrupulous police methods  and a bleak outlook on life  becks wife has just divorced him  and she is cutting him off from their children  she will not even allow him to wish them  merry christmas  by telephone  but becks family and emotional problems take a back seat to the action and thrills in deadbang  beck is investigating the brutal murders of a shopkeeper and a cop  his investigation starts in l  a  and finally culminates and climaxes in oklahoma  where he has a violent showdown with the killers at a white supremacist camp  virtually every aspect of deadbang is inept and ineffective  the plot is incoherent and full of holes  the movie depicts becks investigation so clumsily that you never see the connections between his clues and his conclusions  the action sequences in deadbang are strictly thirdrate  and the movie has absolutely no momentum or suspense  i certainly expected more from longtime director john frankenheimer who directed the classic political thriller  the manchurian candidateas well as black sunday  seven days in may  and the french connection ii  in all fairness to frankenheimer  however  i should note that most of deadbangs shortcomings seem to stem from its shabby script rather than from the direction  deadbang tries to don a mask of social relevance by incorporating themes of racism and white supremacy  but its efforts are nothing more than token gestures and nothing less than insulting  according to the movies production notes  deadbang is based on the reallife experiences of stillactive detective jerry beck  you would never guess this from watching deadbang  however  since the film totally lacks credibility  it is utterly unconvincing and unbelievable  most of the characters in deadbang are either atrociously acted  underdeveloped  superfluous  or all of the above  william forsythe  for example  is painfully bad as arthur kressler  a wholesome bythebook fbi agent whos offended by becks foul language and unorthodox methods  forsythes lame performance and corny dialogue makes his character unbearable  deadbang marks the motion picture debut of tim reid   wkrp in cincinnati  and  franks place    but his talents are completely wasted in a cliched and contrived role  he plays the chief officer of a squadron of black cops who help beck to nail the villains  the sole function of penelope ann millers character is to give deadbang an excuse to include a gratuitous love scene between characters about whom you could not care less  i guess the films title refers to this love scene since its definitely a dead bang  the only real virtue of deadbang  believe it or not  is don johnson  who tries to overcome the limitations of the movies pitiful script  johnson succeeds in giving his character a sarcastic sense of humor and a hint of depth  and his pessimistic wisecracks occasionally bring the film to life  and i must admit that deadbang does have one or two amusing moments  the funniest scene has johnson throwingup all over a criminal as he interrogates him  but when barf is the highlight of a movie  you know the movies in trouble  the other amusing scene involves a psychological examination of beck  in which he cant keep a straight face because the psychiatrist resembles woody allen  but two funny scenes and a couple good wisecracks do not a movie make  
neg	it was once said that in order to truly enjoy some of todays movies or novels  you must suspend disbelief   however  there is a distinct separation between opening your mind to ridiculous situations and believing a bunch of flat lies  it came as no surprise to me to learn that huntingburg  indiana  where the film is set   does not have a mcdonalds  a sears store  a statue of a man on a horse  nor even a dam close by  even if you can ignore these somewhat white lies  even though the dam is crucial to hard rains plot   there is still a bunch of things that just dont gel  firstly  morgan freeman  possibly the greatest actor alive  after such films as driving miss daisy  the shawshank redemption and se7en   was cast as a shifty goon intent on stealing enough money for a healthy retirement  he should have played the town sheriff  an experienced and somewhat intriguing policeman  as a massive flood started by a dam accident overwhelms huntingburg  its residents presumably flee as the water level steadily increases  i say presumably simply because we never know what happened to them  and it seems a tad strange that an entire town  with the exception of some folk who get introduced along the way  can vanish before the flood has actually started  but nether the less  armored guard couriers tom  christian slater  and his uncle are carrying three million dollars in the back of their van  with a heavy rainstorm causing depressing conditions and slippery roads  it doesnt take long for the van to end up stuck amongst mud and water off the side of the road  jim  morgan freeman  and a small gang of thieves locate the van and attempt to steal the three million dollars  but of course tom is more than willing to save the day  so he takes the money and hides it elsewhere in town  the local sheriff  randy quaid  whom most will remember as the drunken pilot in id4  and a couple of police men investigate the situation  but their morals are soon overpowered by greediness as each character contemplates what heshe would do with their share of the three million dollars  director mikael salomon has made sure that hard rain ends up turning everything topsyturvy  and whilst the film may at first appear to be a definite goodies versus baddies   there are numerous twists in its plot that make this a slightly more enjoyable experience  but by the time these interesting changes occur  its far too late in the film for them to have much affect  hard rains continuos corniness and lack of originality washes out whatever hope the script may have had  and although its cast is somewhat appealing most of its stars act well below par  not at one stage capturing what could have been a fabulous on screen battle between slater and freeman  we are left to reminisce on films that dared to do something different and achieved more than what was expected  such titles as broken arrow  slater and john travolta  and faceoff  nicholas cage and john travolta  come to mind as films that have mastered silver screen confrontations  strangely enough  they were both directed by john woo and both star john travolta  we can forgive morgan freeman for giving a slightly disappointing performance since he is newish to the action genre  but christian slater could have achieved so much more had the amount of crummy one liners been reduced and some personality added to his character  if you had asked me whether slater could perform well enough to substantially boost a movie prior to the release of broken arrow  my answer would have been a definite no  i now know that he has no excuse  and can do better  if you dont believe me rent a copy of broken arrow from your local video store   although hard rain never really works from the start  i somehow felt feelings of missed opportunity when the credits filled the screen  the addition of an enticing subplot would have given the film time to breathe  rather than try to cram 96 minutes of action and disaster into a story that cant handle anything else  despite the fact that hard rain fails on almost every account  if your standards are low enough you may find this to be a mildly enjoyable film  no creative flair and no inventive scenes means that hard rain does not stand up well against its many competitors  but it doesnt really matter since the last thing you would want to do after shelling about 8  50 is compare this to other films  
neg	 some houses are born bad   goes the hauntings tag line  to which i must add   some movies  too   nothing short of hiring a new cast  a more literate screenwriter  and a new director could have saved this tragically misguided adaptation of jacksons meritorious novel  the haunting is late entry summer dreck too slick to be creepy  and its seemingly endless stream of digital trickery and spooky ooky sound effects dont frighten so much as numb the audience into submissionthe film is like a rube goldberg contraption rigged to shout  boo   fragile nell  taylor   bisexual theo  zetajones   and smiley luke  wilson  are three insomniacs who gather at the reputedly possessed hill house for an extended study on sleep disorders  hosted by professor marrow  neeson   marrows secretly gathering data on their respective paranoid responses to his recount of hill houses bleak history  hes not prepared for the very real apparitions that terrorize the crew  nell especially  who has some ancestral connection to the manors previous inhabitants  taylor is thoroughly insufferable in her first bigbudget lead  for starters  her consistently dour expression sucks the life out of even the early scenes  when were introduced to the mansion and all its funhouse trappings  her character is supposed to be depressed  having tended to an unloving mother for too many years  but taylor plays nell as supernaturally lame  alternately grouchy  mopey  wiggy and pathetic  and i kept wondering why the other characters didnt just ditch this bitch  as for the obscenely photogenic zetajones  she breezes through her scenes with a wink and a smile and takes the scenery with her  unfortunately  shes saddled with some of the most unlikely dialogue the screenplay has to offer  theos assessment of the house   i love it  sort of charles foster kane meets the munsters   who on earth would say that in place of  citizen kane meets the munsters    furthermore  would you gladly spend a single night in a house befitting that description   both actresses fare better than neeson  who looks embarrassed to be a part of this ensemble  and for good reason   and his character is the most bland  as luke puts it  dr  marrow pulls the old  academic bait and switch  on his subjects  but he breaks down and confesses to this the second hes accused  later  he risks his life by climbing a crumbling stairwell to save nell  its amusing to hear neeson shout  nell  repeatedly  given his starring role in the 1994 jodie foster vehicle of the same name   why was this nice  helpful  and redemptive researcher so absent of ethics at the start  the haunting was well designed by eugenio zanetti  his sets are obsessively detailed  and even before the cgi kicks in  they seem alive  never quite still  i do have one beef with this aspect of the production  the real life mansion used in exterior shots  nottinghamshires harlaxton manor  is so vast that one has trouble believing that nell and company  no matter how much running away they do from ghosts and goblins  always finish up in locations that were established in act one  as if all the action has been confined to one wing of hill house  eighty million dollars was spent on the haunting  and despite a powerhouse box office debut  i doubt it will recoup its costs  including marketing  domestically  thank jan de bont for that  proving for the third time that speed was a fluke  in that it was actually enjoyable  de bont has served up another ride  sans thrill  his images  welllit though they are  have an unmistakable been theredone that quality  in fact  whole sequences  not to mention the cloaked  airy ghoul who owns the climax  feel lifted from a much smarter and infinitely more enjoyable spectacle from three summers back  peter jacksons the frighteners  i dont mean to suggest de bont is a plagiarist  i mean to suggest that hes a hack  having found no new ways to give us chills  
neg	play it to the bone is a punchdrunk mess of a movie  containing a good cast but awful acting  an interesting premise but terrible execution  ron shelton  white men cant jump  gives us a rocky story with not one rocky but two  rocky no  1 is vince boudreau  woody harrelson  edtv   a bald  tattooed  newly converted christian  whose idea of christianity is not using the name of christ as a curse word    something that he has not yet successfully achieved  rocky no  2 is caesar dominguez  antonio banderas  the 13th warrior   best friend of vince who is currently dating vinces exgirlfriend  grace  both men are nearing the end of their  almost  careers when a fluke provides them with a redemptive opportunity  when both fighters of the undercard of a vegas based mike tyson title fight become incapacitated  the fight promoters need to find a quick replacement  our boys are tapped to fight each other  the winner of which is  promised  a shot at a future title fight  the film is divided into two sections  at first  we have a buddy road picture as our two heroes  in graces  sassy grassy  green muscle car  travel through the desert to vegas in order to make the fight scheduled for that day  along the way we learn about their pasts and the opportunities that have come and gone by  once in vegas  the movie settles down to the effectively staged fight sequences between vince and caesar  both mr  harrelson and mr  banderas have provided us with stunning characterizations in the past  not that wed know it from their work here  mr  harrelson is uncomfortably awkward  apparently never having gotten a firm handle on vince  the christian conversion angle simply falls flat and unbelievable  mr  banderas is uncharacteristically noncharismatic as caesar  weak and ineffectual  there is little life in his screen performance  the other actors involved merely play stereotypes of one sort or another  tom sizemore  saving private ryan   robert wagner  austin powers ii  the spy who shagged me   and richard masur  fire down below  are crooked promoters  lucy liu  payback  is a sexstarved hitchhiker looking for a good time  and lolita davidovich  gods and monsters   is the shared girlfriend who cant make her mind up which boxer she prefers  because of the weak characters and the lack of screen chemistry between them  the film flounders with all the appeal of a dead fish until the boxing match actually begins  but even then  because the outcome is so predictably obvious  the suspense factor is negated and we are relegated to just watching two men pummel each other  writerdirector ron shelton clearly spent much time orchestrating the fight sequence as it is well photographed  wellchoreographed  welledited  and wellperformed  if only some of that same detailed attention had been diverted to the remaining parts of the film  as it is  the scenes which require the characters to actually talk to one another are weak and laughable  the title is actually the most interesting aspect of the film  the phrase   play it to the bone is a reference to seeing something all the way through or not quitting until youve achieved your desired goal  that is a biblical principle   know ye not that they which run in a race run all  but one receiveth the prize  so run  that ye may obtain   1 corinthians 9  24 kjv achieving anything worthy in life requires  playing it to the bone   we need to develop fully persuaded mindsets and commitment levels in order to endure and persevere past the obstacles and distractions which lay between us and our stated objectives  this is true in practical matters of our physical lives as well as the in the developing maturity of our spiritual lives  as a movie  play it to the bone is hardly worth our time  but as a principle of life  the phrase  play it to the bone  are words to live by  
neg	i have no real tangible proof of this  but i swear that there are a lot of producers in hollywood who adamantly believe that if you take a bad script  written by a bad writer and give the project it to an equally bad director  then it is actually possible to make a good movie  using their logic  all that really needs be done to change the bad movie into a good movie is cast a bunch of superfamous actors and provide an almost unlimited production budget  this is the only way i can fathom how 20th century fox hired jon amiel in order to direct this eighty million dollar waste of my time  not counting the time it took me to get to and from the theatre   now  before i continue to ferociously attack whats wrong with this film  i just want to point out that one of the reasons it fails so miserably is because it does have the potential to be an exciting thriller  catherine zetajones plays virginia baker  an insurance investigator tracking down an infamous art thief named robert macdougal  sean connery   if youve ever seen any hollywood blockbuster before  i really dont have to spend too much time on frivolous plot details  the two team up for various jobs  stealing various things for various purposes  the problem we come to is that weve all seen this a few billion times before and this film doesnt break any new ground in the bigbudgethollywoodaction genre  the result is that the entire production feels contrived  im going to be completely honest here  pretty much the only thing keeping me awake throughout the runtime was looking at catherine zetajones  now while this may be a compliment for ms  zetajones  it certainly isnt for either the writers or the director  who are not nearly as clever as they think they are  just about the most profound thought they can inject into this film is when they have macdougal lecture baker on the semantic difference between  entrapment  and  blackmail   with an eighty million dollar budget  youd think that entrapment would at least feature edgeofyour seat action scenes or breathtaking special fx  well  youd be wrong  the action that is present in this film takes place in a huge skyscraper and is relatively unspectacular  unfortunately for all those involved with entrapment  die hard narrowly beat it to the screen by  11 years  the reality is that after 15 minutes of watching this picture  you know exactly whats going to happen  despite rather pathetic attempts in the screenplay to throw in plot twists  many scenes seem to exist merely as a reason to outfit zetajones in extremely tightfitting clothing  one particular scene features baker crawling around trying to avoid laserbeams while she tries to steal an ancient chinese mask  nothing wrong with that  but she entered the room from the floor and knew exactly where the mask was  so why didnt she and macdougal tunnel in directly under the mask instead of the other side of the room  ill tell you why  because its a great excuse to photograph zetajones posterior as it slides underneath those beams  and it also allows a second scene of the exact same thing  the rehearsal   ving rhames also makes an appearance in this movie  and though he has great screen presence  although so do connery and zetajones  and the most interesting character in the film  not even he can rescue this film from the depths of the boring film abyss  a concept i invented just to describe this picture   one last complaint  entrapment is littered of instances where macdougal will just slip into a shadow or behind a building  or he becomes obstructed by a moving vehicle and then in the next shot  hell spontaneously disappear in ninjalike fashion  i can picture amiel patting himself on the back  thinking to himself  itll leave the audience wondering for days  how did he do that   we know jon  its called editing  
neg	when i originally saw the trailer for  analyze this  a few months ago  i must admit  i thought it looked kind of lame  and then when the commercials started popping up a week or two ago  i thought it looked outright bad  but then when  analyze this  finally opened a few days ago  an odd thing happened  it got great reviews  critics were proclaiming it  hilarious  and a  deadon parody of mob movies   well  with praise like that  i figured  it must be good and so i headed off to the theater  you know that expression that says always trust your gut instincts  well  turns out that expression is more valid than i ever gave it credit for   analyze this  is slow  unfunny  and badly acted  dont get me wrong  i think that deniro is one of the top ten greatest actors of the century  but he is just out of his league here  i think the problem is he didnt quite know how to approach this material  he plays his character  mob boss paull vitti  somewhere in between the realm of comedy and drama  if he had played the character straight  along the lines of leslie nielson in the  naked gun  series  he probably would have been a lot more successful  as it is  though  he plays the character completely serious at some moments  and for laughs at others  this doesnt work  it creates an uneven character that never breaks out of the deniro mold  you always know its him  and the movie is badly paced  too  it never takes off  it just crawls from one scene to another without any forward momentum  i think the blame for this should be placed on the script  its obvious the writer had a good idea for a movie  mob boss faces breakdown and needs the services of a psychiatrist  but once this is established  the movie doesnt really go anywhere  the formula of the film seems to be this  billy crystal says no to deniro  deniro forces him  and much wackiness ensues  this formula of sorts is repeated several times throughout the movie  ive said it before and ill say it again  the only thing that matters to me in a comedy is whether or not its funny  if  analyze this  had been funny  the pacing and bad acting wouldnt have bothered me  i would have been too busy laughing to notice  but as it is  i only chuckled a few times  the only really funny scene is a deadon parody of  the godfather   sadly  though  i dont think anyone in the audience i saw it with realized it was a parody  because i was the only one laughing  but my sense of humour  i have come to realize  is vastly different from the general population  i loathed  theres something about mary   yet loved  baseketball   now  if you want a movie that  i  think is funny  go out and see  office space   its full of genuine laughs and wont leave you glancing at your watch every 10 minutes  as  analyze this  did  
neg	jeanclaude van damme movies tend to be  if nothing else  a lot of mindless fun  his latest film   knock off   skips on the fun part leaving a wildly incoherent exercise that is  well  simply mindless  you cant really blame van damme  no one  i suspect  has ever expected  the muscles from brussels  to contribute a heartfelt performance brimming with introspection and delicate shades of gray  and even his sidekick costar   saturday night live  alumnus rob  makin copies  schneider  does whats expected of him  although neither appear to want the role of straight man  no  the problem with the film is its direction  the first five minutes of the film are incomprehensible    and it goes downhill from there  five hundred characters  it seems  are introduced within the first fifteen minutes  van damme doesnt land his first kick until after thirtytoo late for most action fansand by the time the hour mark has rolled around  your jaw will be on your cup holder and youll be wondering why you elected to spend seven dollars on this mess  director hark tsui  whose previous film was the van dammedennis rodman teamed  double team   films at such a frenetic pace that its hard to know whats going on  whos on whose side  and what the point of all this is  faster than you can yell  fruit stand   were watching a crazed rickshaw race with schneider being bounced along by an energetic van damme  when schneider starts whacking van damme in the behind with a fourfoot eel while enthusing  move your beautiful big ass   the movie takes an unprecedented turn to the bizarre  every now and again  knock off  will deliver some truly ingenious directorial flourishesinventive camera shots and angles  wild rides down gun silencers and from the tops of buildings to the sprawling street below  revealing cutins within the framebut they all happen too quickly  and within such a furious frame of reference  that theyre wasted  if only hark could have slowed things down just for a minute  if youre interested in the plot  youre better off reading a capsule review than trying to extract any meaning from the onscreen shenanigans   jeanclaude van damme plays a shady bluejeans manufacturer who uncovers a russian mafia plot to terrorize the world with  nanobombs  hidden in cabbage patch knockoffs  maybe  with paul sorvino   a more accurate summary would be  jeanclaude van damme bums around hong kong failing to avoid large  blatant cocacola product placements   the fact that the film is staged during hong kongs last days under british rule gets some lip service but doesnt figure in at all  perhaps  knock off  s most intriguing credit is that ron and russell mael composed the frenzied music score  some of you might remember the mael brothers as the 80s synth pop duo sparks  their contributions here are as confused as the accompanying action  kimono my house  indeed  like the cheap jeans and  pumma  sneakers manufactured in hong kong  van dammes latest is a real phony  
neg	in  twilight   a exalcoholic  excop  exhusband  exprivateeye  harry ross  paul newman   works for a pair of aging hollywood actors  catherine  susan sarandon  and jack ames  gene hackman   jack is being blackmailed  and he asks harry to deliver the payoff  instead of the blackmailers  harry finds a dying excop  m  emmet walsh   as more bodies begin to pile up  harry realizes that he will have to solve the disappearance of catherines first husband twenty years earlier to find out whos willing to kill to keep that secret buried  newman  sarandon  hackman  with an alist cast of oscar laureates like that   twilight  would seem very promising  however  the script is tired and predictable  it would serve well as a tvmovieoftheweek  possibly with some 1970s detective hero reprising his role  the appeal of the project for its stars and its director  robert benton  is nostalgia   twilight  wants very much to be a 1940s film noir with alan ladd or dick powell  all of the standard tropes are here  a hardboiled p  i  among the rich and beautiful whose glamour hides sinister secrets  a femme fatale who tempts and confounds the hero  shadowy figures shooting from doorways  dead bodies confronting the hero at every turn  cops dogging his path and interfering with his investigation  the script offers little originality  and coauthors benton and richard russo seem unaware that what was original in 1948 is a clich  in 1998  elmer bernsteins score is hauntingly melodic and could have been drawn notefornote from a vintage noir  the lead actors try hardnone of the three has every made less than a full effort  even when burdened with a bad script  they try to invest every line and gesture with meaning  and they create a convincing sense of the relationships between the main characters  harry is fond of jack but is in love with catherine  jack is dying of cancer and is jealous of harrys love for catherine  catherine teases harry and enjoys his attention  but her real feelings are hidden beneath a carefullymaintained veneer   twilight  wants to be characterdriven like  nobodys fool   also directed by benton  also starring newman  based on a novel by russo  was  but the tired script gives the actors too little to work with   twilight  also squanders a fine supporting cast  stockard channing  harrys friend on the police force   reese witherspoon  jack  catherines bratty kid   giancarlo esposito  the humorous sidekick   john spencer  harrys nemesis on the force   liev schreiber and margo martindale  the blackmailers   and james garner  a cop who bailed movie stars out of trouble   
neg	there was probably a good reason that the warner bros  studio chose not to allow critics to view this steven seagal film when it first opened  and  after seeing this piece of toxic waste  i now know why  this movie is by far the worst offering that has hit the screen since possibly those ernest movies years ago  fire down below centers its story on a little mining town in gods country  somewhere in eastern kentucky  its beauty and natural goodness is being slowly destroyed by an uncaring mining magnate  kris kristopherson  who constantly looks like he wants to kill his agent for getting him this role   it turns out that hes filling the mines throughout kentucky with toxic waste for a tidy profit  seagal plays jack taggert  an aikidoversed  fighting machine  who is an agent with the epa  no    not the cia nor the fbi nor the nsa  its the environmental protection agency  i had no idea that epa agents were trained to be killers  taggert is sent to find the perpetrators and to bring them to justice  written by someone named jeb  i could already envision the stereotypes of incestuous relationships  banjopicking preachers  and dumbasnails rednecks  but the script puts seagal right smack dab in the middle of all of these scenarios as he tries to discreetly fit in  seagals idea of a disguise is a longlength 1000 leather jacket  but to get closer to the kinfolk  he will fix peoples porches for free  thats another great epa asset  teaching agents how to fix porches  slow and plodding  this project is a total mess  the sometimes allure of watching seagal is watching him outmaneuver enemies that outnumber and outgun him like in under seige  here  his bravado basically turns into bullyness  townsfolk who are foolish enough to challenge seagal are quickly subdued  fight scenes are quick and senseless and offers no enjoyment value whatsoever  and his soap box message wears thin within the first 15 minutes  the most annoying moment comes when he barges into the middle of a sunday church ceremony  gets behind the pulpit  and beseeches the townsfolk to take control of their lives and to help clean up the environment  but the epitome of how moralistically mushy this film gets happens when the person responsible for the toxic dumping  kristopherson  meets up with seagal  kristopherson asks seagal how much it will take for him to go away  seagal gallantly replies   ill leave when you take the poison from the streams and the earth   i was expecting patriotic music to start blasting and a show of fireworks in the background  this is truly nothing more than a pompous showcase for seagals righteousness and narcissistic arrogance  seagal has been vanguard in trying to bring a new genre into the filmplace  that of the envirothriller  on deadly ground   however  the message will never come across through poorly developed vehicles like this  still  i believe in preserving mother earth  so save your 5 and please donate it instead to some worthy environmentally conscious charity  
neg	tom dicillo directs this superficial comedy about superficial people in superficial careers  all searching for deeper meaning  however  they wont find much meaning in the real blonde  and not enough real humor  either  joe  matthew modine  is a struggling actor  or he claims to be one  even though he has no credits under his belt  his girlfriend  mary  catherine keener  has no pretensions about her career  shes a makeup artist  working for the eccentric fashion photographer blair  marlo thomas  and supermodel of the month  sahara  bridgette wilson   sahara  who has acquired a new age spirituality from repeated viewing of the little mermaid  has an onagain  offagain relationship with joes best friend  bob  maxwell caulfield   however  bob has gotten his biggest break yet  a starring role on a soap opera opposite the beautiful kelly  daryl hannah   who may be that illusive woman hes always pursued  a real blonde  there are some moments of good humor in the real blonde  but not enough  the best stuff is in throwaway details in the background  such as saharas perfume ads   depression  its not just a state of mind   but to find humor in the superficiality of models and actors is to shoot fish in a barrel  and  unfortunately  the films forays outside the realm of comedy are pathetic  take for example the films framing device of an old lady and her dog  the story serves absolutely no purpose  makes little sense  and is completely tangential to the main plotlines of the movie  matthew modine and catherine keener have the most sympathetic characters in the film  but theyre stuck in the most boring plotlines  modine whines and complains and would be completely pathetic if he was matched against someone stronger than elizabeth berkley  who appears as another struggling actor  keeners character has a stronger edge  but the insult selfdefense class  taught by denis leary  no less  she is stuck in makes little sense  the movies running time is under two hours  but it seems like it is well over it  theres just not enough humor to speed things along  and not enough meaning to propel any drama  
neg	the ads for  batman and robin  scream  the event of the summer is here  and thats the problem  the producers were apparently so intent on creating a spectacle that they forgot to put an actual movie inside of it   batman and robin  is 126 minutes of lavish sets  flashy costumes and big  confusing fight scenes with barely a hint of substance  its like one of those cheesy kings island stage shows  bright  busy and visually diverting  but not very much fun  it wasnt always this way  tim burtons  batman  was an epic story of obsession and duality  of darkness and revenge  the film  while far from perfect  was a striking mood piece with an otherworldly feel  batman was a creepy  brooding creature of the night  the joker  brilliantly overplayed by jack nicholson  was at once charismatic and repellent  batman and the joker were opposite sides of the same coin  battling inner demons and one another over gotham citys breathtaking gothic skyline  those days of the dark knight are gone  replaced by a psychedelic ice capades run amuck   batman and robin  has far more in common with the campy 60s batman tv show than with tim burtons tale of darkness  the blame lies with director joel schumacher  a former windowdresser  schumacher is adept at decorating sets and dressing people in exotic costumes  unfortunately  when it comes time to have those people walk and talk  he hasnt the faintest notion of what to do   batman and robin  is overstuffed with intricately choreographed fight scenes so poorly edited that its often difficult to tell whos whacking who  while the characters flail at each other  oneliners and bad puns are tossed about like confetti  a few carefully placed jokes can set an action movie sailing  but too many wisecracks can undermine the momentum of a film   batman and robin  doesnt merely lose momentum  it stalls out completely on several occasions  its rare to see an action flick as sluggish as this one  ironically  the parts of  batman and robin  that work are the ones showing the characters in street clothing  and most of those succeed because of george clooney as bruce wayne  easily the best batman yet  clooneys expressive eyes and weary smile gives the character a sense of depth that the script doesnt even hint at  the films most effective scene is a tender  quiet exchange between clooney and alfred  michael gough   bruce waynes butler and surrogate father  as for the other heroes  chris odonnells robin is enthusiastic  perky and horny as hell  while pudgy alicia silverstone is hard to accept as an athlete in her debut as batgirl  in a movie filled to the brim with major characters  the decision to add the entirely unnecessary batgirl and elle macpherson as bruce waynes girlfriend is puzzling  i suspect the producers inserted the women in an attempt to convince audiences that two guys who run around in rubber suits with builtin nipples  shapely buttocks and huge codpieces are actually straight  of course  the real stars of a batman film are the villains and thats where  batman and robin  really suffers  as mr  freeze  arnold schwarzenegger gives his worst performance in years  spitting out a stream of lame catch phrases in wooden fashion  laboring under a ton of appliances  schwarzenegger looks as if hes having trouble even moving in his suit  let alone trying to act  uma thurman fares somewhat better as poison ivy  she overacts terribly in the early establishing scenes of her character  its apparently a rule in the batman series that before a person becomes a villain  she must be a cartoonish  bumbling nerd   once thurman transforms into the ecopsychotic poison ivy  she does a nice mae west impersonation as a classic vamp who can seduce men with her breath and kill them with a kiss  thurman fails to maintain the characters maniacal sense of style though  and ends up merely sputtering her way through the latter scenes of the film  the biggest lesson to be learned from  batman and robin  is that more is not better  joel schumacher fills the screen with eye candy  but the technicolor overkill merely emphasizes what a trifle the film really is  some critics suggest that the batman series has run out of steam  i dont think so  my prescription  fire joel schumacher  but offer him a ticket to a rubber fetishists convention so hell understand that theres no hard feelings   give alicia silverstone her walking papers  while keeping clooney  odonnell and michael gough  call jack nicholson and michelle pfieffer and beg them to reprise their roles as the joker and catwoman  then  ditch the campiness and  for the love of pete  lose the  event  mentality and make a movie instead of a spectacle next time  
neg	 gordy  is not a movie  it is a 90minutelong  sesame street  skit  and a very bad one at that  this movie is so stupid and dumb that its depressing to think that some hollywood executives actually gave this the green light  and even more surprising is the fact that this is a disney movie  im sure children are the target audience of this movie  but only kids under the age of five may be able to tolerate it  it is the story of a farm a piglet named gordy  voiced by garms   whose family has been taken away to  up north   which we know means death  of course we can hear the animals talk to each other  and they actually went to the trouble of attempting to sync the voices with their mouths but it comes out terrible  actually  its almost funny in a way  the only remotely interesting and likable character soon appears  a little girl named jinnie sue macallister  young  who sees gordy on the back of a truck and essentially steals him  jinnie is a country singer and the film goes off on a huge tangent to show her little concert and the people dancing to it  what is the point of this  maybe she is one of the producers relatives and they wanted to show her on camera to promote her or something  we then cut to a huge social gathering and drop in on another young kid named hank royce  roescher  who is sad because his divorced mother is dating  he leaves the party and meets jinnie sue  but he accidentally falls in a pool  probably because he was sitting on the diving board with a 200 suit on  nah  didnt see that one coming    starts to drown  and is miraculously saved as gordy pushes an inflatable float over to him and saves him  if this had not been insanely stupid already the story quickly changes when jinnie gives gordy to hank who then ends up becoming the ceo of a food processing corporation when hanks grandfather  the original ceo  dies and leaves his fortune to hank    and gordy  of course there must be a villain  but even this villain  donadio as sipes  isnt that evil  he never raises his voice or becomes angry  and of course he has the typical idiot goons kidnap gordy but this is just so beyond stupid and cartoony we are constantly two steps ahead of the story  its hard to tell whether the overall corniness and cheesiness to the movie is intentional because it is a family film  or if the filmmakers are just this untalented and stupid  at times  gordy  is tolerable to watch  thus earning it one star and not the dreaded  z   but its just so unbelievably boring  cliche  dumb  unfunny  corny  and just plain bad it may scare children  it certainly disturbed me   42196   12997   61397  see also   babe   
neg	senseless  r  marlon wayans is a very talented physical comedian  and it is that gift that brings senseless moments of life  alas  moments are simply that  moments  which are not enough to lift this fantasycomedy above its onejoke premise  granted  that one joke is initially amusing  when wayanss darryl witherspoon  an economics major at stratford university  hits some dire financial straits  he becomes a guinea pig for a experimental drug that heightens all five senses  after some initial side effects and problems controlling his superhuman senses  darryl learns to enjoy the benefits of his abilities and uses them to land a position at a highly esteemed corporate firm  at this point  the film sounds more like senseful than senseless  but through some turns of the plot  darryl finds himself only able to use four of his five senses at once  essentially leaving himyessenseless  this sets up some showcase moments for wayanss gift for physical comedy  especially when darryl loses his sense of feeling and his body goes completely  hilariously limp  but these gags  and the gag behind the entire movie  quickly grows stale  once darryl is shown without the use of all of the senses  instead of exploring any new comic territory  director penelope spheeris and screenwriters greg erb and craig mazin take the easy way out and simply recycle each form of senselessness  wayans approaches each goround with gusto  but by this point hes simply treading water for the rest of the films unfunny duration  senseless would not be as problematic as it is if it didnt strive to be anything more than a comic trifle  however  the raucous and often raunchy comedy is wrapped in a blanket of bogus sincerity  darryl goes through the experiment in order to help his cashstrapped family  and this  serious  angle seems to come from an entirely different movie  unlike wayanss last starring vehicle  the surprisingly effective  and serious  the 6th man  the  emotional  content of senseless is forced and unconvincing  any attempt at anything more substantial than broad comedy fizzlesdarryls romance with janice  tamara taylor   a young woman who yearns for a man who is true to himself  does not generate sparks of any kind  once his wb television sitcom the wayans bros  comes to an end  the genuinely funny marlon wayans has a promising bigscreen future ahead of him  but if he continues to associate himself with projects as flat as senseless  his film career could go the way of his oncepromising older brother  damon  who is now set to make his comebackon television  
neg	a slight romantic comedy with a feminist bent  but one with no edge to it  it turns out to be a conventional film filled with the usual clich  s and stock characters of this genre  though its a wellwritten and wellacted fluff piece  it still does not have too much to say that is surprising  its made for the gentle arthouse set  those who dont want something too disturbing to think about  its about a critically successful writer husband  alec  pryce   who is so selfabsorbed that hes threatened by his department store floorwalking model wife  kate  bouquet   who wants to be a writer  she meets his crass publisher  vanni corso  walken   another selfabsorbed man  and a predictable relationship occurs  the fireworks occur because she outgrows her husbands first impressions of her as someone who was impressed with his genius and worships at his feet  she now wants her own identity and her independence  the film looked like the usual sitcom stuff  and is plagued with the cheap set design features reserved for a tv movie  the film sagged in the middle of the story from the weight of its tedium  and eventually landed on its rear end with its unspectacular climax  its set in london  and it opens as model kate rebuffs sexual advances by a wealthy american shopper  vanni  she later meets him as her hubbys new upstart publisher who seeks to have her intellectual author husband in his stable in order to give him credibility as a publisher of quality  and he quickly wins favor with her by publishing her vanity novel  alec who is an obnoxious grouse  someone whom it seems it would be impossible to live with  tries to do everything to stop his wife from having her book publishedwhich only pushes her into the grasping arms of vanni  the publisher is proud that hes a mammas boy who never married and is a selfmade man who has earned millions  he has recently acquired a failing old london publishing house and plans to revitalize it  as he proudly tells kate   if my father could sell pizzas in harlem  i could sell culture in europe   the only thing that couldnt be sold  is this stiff story and tired plot line  the mystery to me  is how the lovely kate could like either man unless she was an insensitive dummy  she soon divorces the beleaguered alec and marries the soontobecomebeleaguered vanni  when she writes a second novel  he rebuffs her the same way her first hubby did  it ends with the same results that happened to hubby number one  as its story of ambition and lust winds down in a whimper  a business affair was loosely based on the reallife literary and romantic travails of married authors barbara skelton and cyril connolly  in their celebrated 1950s love triangle  
neg	if youre the kind of person who goes to see movies just because you long for some of that overpriced theatre popcorn  butter optional   then this is the movie for you  indeed  this has got to be either one of the most unimaginative ripoffs of other recent action movies  or an incredibly unfunny spoof of them  its difficult to fathom such insipidness unless you actually watch this film  but at least were warned very quickly that we may regret our ticket purchase  giving us an opportunity to sneak on out and into the adjacent show  what are the four ingredients of a really bad action movie  first  the movie gives us an introductory premise  huge caverns exist deep beneath the ocean floor  and in this area  many ships have disappeared  oooh    scary  secondly  a cheesy soundtrack tries to connote a tone of mystery  but only succeeds in drowning our ears with an abrasive musical score  third  the main character is a mercenary that delivers goods without asking about the contents of his cargo  treat williams   he operates a sophisticated militarystyle pt boat and every word that comes out of his mouth is awash in comical flippancy  finally  in the cargo hold  we see those that hired him  they are also mercenaries that have toughlooking haircuts  talk with accents  and try to show how macho they are  during their trip across the stormy sea  their boat suffers an incident and requires repairs  spotting a cruise ship in the distance  they make their way to the ocean liner and devise a plan to raid the machine shop  take the parts that they need  and then continue on their merry way  little do they know that this cruise ship has become infested by some kind of ocean monster  yet  they board the ship armed to the hilt with grenades and machine guns that can kill dozens in a matter of seconds  this is nothing more than a bythebook action film  their realization of the situation that theyre in doesnt happen until they are in the bowels of the boat  those who are dumb enough to stray off on their own will ultimately get killed  the corridors on the ship are narrow  misty  and provide the kind of atmosphere that all scarefests must have  yet  despite the predictable nature of this film  there are some scary  boo  moments  but most of it is just outright silly  and this film is unusually gory too  monsters basically suck off the flesh and spit out skeletal remains  there is one particularly neat scene where a monster has been cut apart and reveals a victim that is still alive  he screams horribly as the monsters digestive juices continue to slowly eat him away  additionally  it borrows heavily from speed2  alien and a bunch of other recent films  the mercenaries even run into a lone  surviving passenger  femke jannsen  who looks amazingly like sandra bullock  to be honest  when i left the theatre  i just had to laugh at how witless the film was  its moronic fun at best  so  if youre hankering for a large bucket of popcorn served with a side of silliness  then this might just hit the spot  
neg	synopsis  when a meteorite crashlands in the arizona desert  community college professors ira kane  duchovny  and harry block  jones  are first on the scene  they discover that an alien lifeform has arisen from the rock and is evolving at an amazing rate  soon the army  advised by dr allison reed  moore   moves in and forces kane and block out  but when the aliens begin to menace society  it may take the scientists combined efforts to stop them before they terminate the evolution of another lifeform  humanity  review   evolution  certainly has the ingredients for a decent comedy  its directed by reitman  clearly trying to parlay his  ghostbusters  success into a twentyfirstcentury counterpart  it stars duchovny  and although one might question his judgment in lampooning his  xfiles  character so soon after leaving the tv series  it should certainly provide him with plenty of ammunition  and then theres moore  who may not have much prior experience in comedy  but who has certainly proven her ability as an actress  a shame  then  that it all deteriorates into such a hopelessly unfunny morass   evolution  is a movie more concerned with its special effects  which are quite good  than anything resembling a consistently funny script  it has its moments  a scene in which jones body is invaded by an alien is particularly entertaining   but there are embarrassingly long stretches that are utterly devoid of humour  moore is totally wasted  her clumsy shtick getting very old  very fast  duchovny has stunningly little in the way of material to work with  and the story is so formulaic  it could have been written by monkeys  part of what made  ghostbusters  so wonderful was a combination of a great script and characters the audience could root for   evolution  is so mindnumbingly tedious that its difficult not to start cheering for the aliens  
neg	deceiver is a plot twist in search of a movie  this overly constructed film succeeds in having many surprises  and  being true to its title  being deceptive  but there is little in the film that is worthy of deceit  braxton  chris penn  and kennesaw  michael rooker  are two cops investigating the brutal murder of a prostitute  renee zellweger   their lone suspect is wayland  tim roth   a wealthy young man whose phone number was found in the hookers pocket  however  a routine lie detector test turns against the investigators  as the crafty wayland somehow turns the tables  braxton and kennesaw are forced to confront their own troubled lives  braxton is a gambling addict in deep to mook  ellen burstyn   a local bookie  kennesaw is bitter about his marriage to a socialite  rosanna arquette   believing his wife to be unfaithful  the plot is twisty and complex  with lots of lengthy flashbacks  and plenty of surprises  however  there are times when it is needlessly complex  and at least one instance the storytelling turns so muddled that the answers to important plot points actually get lost  take a look at l  a  confidential  or the films more likely inspiration  the usual suspects for how a complex plot can properly be handled  the dialogue in deceiver is as overcrafted as the plot  for example  the film tells a few substories  such as the tale of a woeful absinthe bender  or an alternative telling of how van gogh lost his ear   but they are so flat and so plastic that they come off as prefabricated and unbelievable  theres never the sense that these are real characters engaging in conversation  they appear to be nothing more than words on a screenplay  the characters  themselves  are rather pathetic and despicable  not one of them is an ounce sympathetic  and as a result  the labyrinthine plot is all for naught  what does it matter who is guilty of what and why  writerdirectors josh and jonas pate seem to desire to emulate the coen brothers masterwork blood simple  or the wachowski brothers less worthy bound  but  while they have got the plot twists down cold  they need to work on characterization and dialogue  
neg	this is the kind of movie that makes one appreciate disneys live action george of the jungle  tarzan and the lost city  the latest attempt to bring edgar rice burroughs legendary hero to the big screen  is one of the most inept and illtimed of any tarzan adventure so far  badly conceived and poorly executed  tarzan and the lost city appears headed for a quick trip to video store shelves  i have no idea why the producers chose now to bring back tarzan  its not as if there are legions of new fans clamoring for his next movie  furthermore  its even more curious that this film is rated pg  which  by definition  rules out any sex or explicit violence  and  while im not advocating the excesses embraced by the 1981 bo derek version of the story  tarzan deserves a slightly more adult approach than the one used in the embarrassing production  of course  no tweaking of the content to change the rating could have saved tarzan and the lost city  since the films troubles originated with the script and were propagated all the way down the line  imagine george of the jungle stripped of all  intentional  humor  and you have a fair idea of what this tarzan is like  with its uninspired action and tepid adventure sequences  the film barely registers a pulse  anyone in search of a relatively entertaining  family jungle adventure should check out the 1994 version of the jungle book  which uses the same basic elements to much better effect  the only worthwhile element of tarzan and the lost city is the pretty scenery  which  unfortunately  includes the two lead actors   the film doesnt attempt to retell the origin story  the thinking is that it has been done often enough  instead  tarzan and the lost city introduces us to lord graystoke a  k  a  john clayton a  k  a  tarzan the ape man  casper van dien  several days before his marriage to lady jane porter  jane march   he is living happily in england  enjoying the benefits of being a landowning noble  meanwhile  in central africa  the dastardly nigel ravens  steven waddington   a selfproclaimed scholar and explorer  believes he has found the way to the lost city of opar  which he calls the cradle of civilization  on the way there  he and his band of mercenaries do all sorts of nasty things  like burning native villages  to earn the wrath of the locals  one shaman  determined to stop ravens from unearthing opal  sends a mystical message to tarzan for help  with lady jane following close behind  he returns to the jungle where he was born  its patently obvious that casper van dien  one of the prettyboy heroes of starship troopers  was not hired on the basis of his acting ability  with his plastic facial expressions  monotone voice  and complete inability to make convincing animal noises  his range rivals that of steven seagal  his pecs  however  are impressive  and director carl schenkel makes sure that he is given every opportunity to show them off  jane march  on the other hand  has to keep her shirt on  which may be a first for her  some six years ago  march give a solid performance in jean jacques annauds steamy the lover  since then  she made the careerkilling decision of appearing opposite bruce willis in the color of night  which exploited her every acting defiency  tarzan continues this trend  march may be attractive  but  at least judging by this performance  she cant act  meanwhile  steven waddington has serious trouble summoning up the menace necessary to be a really detestable bad guy  instead  he turns out to be little more than a nuisance  the story line is pure formula  which has largely been true throughout the years for almost all of the tarzan movies  the problem is that this one seems so childish and lifeless  the romantic elements are all contrived  in fact  lady janes presence is necessary only so she can be captured and subsequently rescued by her buff fiance  the special effects are truly bottomofthebarrel  including some laughably bad men in ape costumes  apparently  animatronics were too expensive for this production   and  of course  as with all jungle movies  there are the obligatory cute animals  over the years  the legend of tarzan has been one of the most popular sources for film series material  the most famous ape man was johnny weismuller  but no less than two dozen other actors have essayed the part  including gordon scott  who is widely believed to be the best actor to tackle the role   weismuller made 12 tarzan features  van dien will probably fall 11 short of that number  and  having seen tarzan and the lost city  i would argue that the moviegoing public would have been well served if he had missed by 12  
neg	 desperate measures  is a generic title for a film thats beyond generic  its also a depressing waste of talent  with the solid team of michael keaton and andy garcia unthankfully thrown thankless lead roles  not to mention oncecool director barbet schroeder sadly continuing his string of notcool flicks  this thriller is more  before and after  than  reversal of fortune   the movie is a big disappointment  and yet its somewhat easy to see what motivated such big names to attach themselves to it  the premise is both promising and intriguing  too bad the executions all wrong  though  because the setup of  desperate measures  boasts some rather enticing elements that deserve to be put to far better use  san francisco cop frank connor  garcia  is a single parent with a troubling dilemma  his son matt  joseph cross  is stricken with cancer which only a bone marrow transplant can push into remission  even worse  the only compatible donor is violent sociopath peter mccabe  michael keaton   currently serving a life sentence for multiple murders and other various crimes against society  connor tries his best to convince mccabe to go along with the surgery  hes at first reluctant  but reconsiders after he realizes he can plan his escape at the hospital  when he does make a run for it  connor offers close pursuit  but for different reasons than his superiors  including the crusty brian cox   they want to take mccabe down  while connor needs to keep him alive  or all hope is lost for his little boy  one misstep  desperate measures  makes is in its underdevelopment of matts illness  whats needed are more details as to exactly why mccabe is the only bone marrow match that works  there would seem to be other possible contenders somewhere in the country  and thus many of the ways that connor endangers the lives of himself and those around him by attempting to keep mccabe alive are just a little too hard to swallow  take  for example  a scene where mccabe is trying to make a getaway by climbing over an elevated passage tunnel connecting two sections of the hospital  the police have their spotlight and guns aimed right on him  and what does connor do  he shoots the spotlight out so that mccabe can continue his flight  connor knows very well what dangerous deeds this guy is capable of  and yet never seems to think that mccabe will eventually get to and try to harm his son  whatever  to be fair  though  the lack of story background is the least of the movies problems  first and foremost is how cheaply  desperate measures  trades the potential of its opening scenes for the routine action ballistics of its final hour  once mccabe escapes  the film becomes the fugitive in reverse and with no thrills  there are countless scenes where the good guys catch up to keaton only to have him grab a hostage and get away  also  the movie is so intent on giving you a hootinducing  lipsmacking villain  the ads have compared peter mccabe to hannibal lechter  natch  that it completely casts garcias frank connor by the dullsville wayside   desperate measures  appears to like its antagonist so much more than its protagonist  and the movies headscratcher of a sendoff confirms this  there is some good to be found amongst this mess  particularly in the acting department  cast against type  michael keatons understated menace is highly effective  although hes not given much believable to work with  andy garcia plays off a taut emotional chord  joseph cross  as garicias ailing son  is surprisingly unsentimental  and marcia gay harden lends solid support as a doctor who becomes a major player in the unfolding chaos  this cast does its best to camouflage the sorry plot as it chugs towards an inevitably happy ending  but most is lost  it goes without saying that  desperate measures  needs an operation of its very own  
neg	robin williams is a comedic genus  that is  he is one when hes in a film that allows him space to move   flubber  straps him in a straitjacket  covers him with duct tape  stuffs him in a coat closet and piles furniture against the door to make sure that he doesnt get out  in a remake of its own 1961  absent minded professor   disney offers us proof that more is definitely less  recycling old films   that darned cat    101 dalmatians   dressed up as new is the newest money machine from the home of the mouse that roared  professor phillip brainard  williams  is a terminally forgetful scientist teaching at a small college  his fiancee  sara jean reynolds  marcia gay harden   president of the college is none too happy with him because hes left her waiting at the altar due to his lack of shortterm  and longterm  memory  shes giving him one more chance  he blows that chance when he invents  flubber   flying rubber  and is so excited by his discovery that sara jean is once again awaiting him in her white dress  his tardiness is helped along by his jealous flying robotic assistant who wants him all to herself  its not all bad news  flubber is a green jello that can magnify and reflect energy that is applied to it  brainard realizes the commercial potential within the goo can save the school from bankruptcy and being taken over by the towns evil industrialist charles hoenicker  raymond barry   while hes busy with his new breakthrough  the slighted sweetheart is being wooed by his sleazy rival wilson croft  christopher mcdonald   theres a flying car  flubberenhanced basketball game and an assortment of broken lab equipment  none of which are the least bit interesting or funny  at one point  my son looked around the audience and asked  why are these people laughing   although williams turns in one of his least inspired roles  he is easily the most lively of the actors  everyone else comes across as halfasleep  the remake is successful in that respect  it feels like a bad disney movie from the sixties  i remember the original as being charming  but my guess is that the memory from almost four decades ago has been artificially enhanced by the years  there have been some updates  fred macmurrays flying model t has been replaced by a tbird  his faithful dog charlie is now  weebo   the hovering robot  the biggest change is that  with sophisticated computer animation  we now can have films show off special effects without being at all entertaining  flubber is anthropomorphized into a being supposedly with personality  the gloop has little arms and legs and splits into tiny little gloopettes for a big dance number  this has nothing to do with the story  the only possible reason is to create merchandising opportunities so that kids can badger their parents into taking them to mcdonalds for the toys  not that contributing little to the plot is a big problem  there are very few aspects of the film that move the story and those that do dont make sense  the discovery of flubber is going to save the college because brainard can sell his flying car to ford  anyone with half a brain would be able to see that his intelligent flying automaton is worth billions  its unbelievable that his lover  well  probably not a lover  after all this is disney  starts dating croft after the aborted wedding  theres not one appealing component of this man  after the professor discovers that smearing a golf ball with the gunk causes it to bounce uncontrollably around his lab wreaking havoc  i cringed as he picked up a bowling ball  this guy is beyond forgetful  venturing into the certifiable  cowriter john hughes used to direct lightweight but thoughtful teen films  the care behind  pretty in pink  and  the breakfast club  all went out the window after his  home alone  franchise heated up the box offices  looking much like  home alone 3 12    flubber  even features a couple of vapid goons who get banged around and a cute little boy who screams a lot  in some ways  its difficult to judge this film  i have a suspicion that im not its target audience  after all  i measure my age in two digits  
neg	ever watch a very young child try and tell a joke that is beyond his  or her  sophistication  its full of stops and starts and usually  the punch line is ruined  i felt the same way watching drowning mona  skip a stone across water and you approximate the depth of this attempt at an ensemble comedy  there are some slightly successful attempts at humor  but they only serve as window dressing  there is a running gag about the town  verplanck  n  y   being a test town for the then new yugo  everyone drives a yugo  differentiating their cars with personalized license plates  even the police chief drives one  there is a certain sublimeness to the image of a lights and siren decked out yugo skittering its way through the town streets  there also is a running gag about one of the characters  jeff  missing a hand and how it occurred  it pokes gentle fun at the notion of urban legends  it turns out the truth is more horrifying than any legend  there are some sight gags that pop up as well  such as monas tombstone  which reads  demoted   instead of devoted  still  the core of the story maintains the flatness of a still pond  the lynchpin of the film falls on the redundant and sporadic scenes involving mona  midler   each scene with her is the same  scream at someone  hit someone  then scream some more  theres no uniqueness or modulation to her or explanation for her meanness  anyone off the street could have played the role  such as it is  the other characters are walking cardboard cutouts  each one is defined by one trait and no further attempt is made at deeper characterization  there is a burly  female car mechanic  so of course  there is a forced lesbianism gag  monas son  jeff  marcus thomas  is a simpleton  hence you can predict his dialogue before it even plods its way from his mouth  chief of police rash  devito  likes broadway musicals and loves his daughter  theres nothing more to him  elle  the chiefs daughter  campbell   is bland personified  a dutiful girl with no higher aspiration than to have a child and be married  monas husband phil  fichtner  jeckle and hydes from shirking coward to reptilian letch  bob  affleck   elles betrothed  and business partner to jeff  is a mumbling  obvious dullard  there is no contrast to any of the characters  by having at least one character with some wit  or wits  to serve as counterpoint to the others  perhaps steinfelds attempt at satirizing a small town infested with ambitionless people might have come off better  ostensibly a murder mystery  drowning mona gives you almost all the clues immediately  then lets you sit back and feel superior as you watch the cast of paper people fumble their way to finding the killer  who could be anyone due to monas loving manner with everyone on town  even that aspect of the film fails  throwing in a convenient  ridiculous and unsatisfying wrap to things  its been a while since i walked away from a movie theater in an angry mood  what makes it all the more remarkable is that i rarely remember a comedy making me so angry for wasting my time at its ineptitude  
neg	what are we going to do with jim carrey  viewers of televisions  in living color  know this oneman cartoon from such characters as fire marshall bill  viewers also know that  in living color  is a skitshow and that a little of jim carrey goes a long way  unfortunately  this fact was forgotten by the makers of the carrey comedy ace ventura  pet detective  three writers  including carrey  worked on the slapstick story  which sends a selfstyled  pet detective  on the trail of a stolen dolphin  the missing mammal belongs to the miami dolphins  who need their mascot for the upcoming superbowl  for plot porpoises  this story works as well as any three stooges short  carrey gets to do his  official  schtick as he snoops around greater miami  he leers and sneers  craning his neck to funny effect  he even does his captain kirk impersonation  again  all of this is pretty harmless stuff up until the point that you realize that the writers have absolutely no intention of focusing on anyone  other  than carrey   suggested alternate titlejim carrey  will do anything for a laugh   export it to france and you may have a hit  as it stands  ace ventura isnt even good kids stuff  the profanity count  alone  is too high  which is ironic  since children are  probably  carreys best audience  the film doesnt even have the goofball charm of chris elliotts recent nobrainer cabin boy  sure  carrey has his moments  but what can you say about a film whose highpoints include watching carrey slink around to the theme from  mission impossible   ace ventura has one glaring incongruity  amid the buttjokes and doubletakes  the script takes great pains to setup an elaborate and rather funny  crying game  gag  and  for  this  intended audience  that takes  ahem  cojones  
neg	there are some pretty impressive stars in lost in space  its just that none of them happen to be actors  the stars im referring to are the computer generated ones that make up the movies  outer space   the stars that the less impressive actors hurtle thru as they try to find their way home  yes  in terms of acting  the star power is    well  more like a falling star  kinda pretty  shortlived  and pretty much dead  lost in space  as if you really didnt know  is based on the 60s scifi television series of the same name  its the year 2058  and earths precious resources are quickly being usurped by the needs of its massive population  john robinson  william hurt  is the scientist leading a mission program to colonize a foreign planet  earths entire existance is contingent upon a successful mission  but nobody  whether it be johns family or hired battle pilot don west  matt leblanc   seems too enthusiastic about leaving their home planet for several years  johns family consists of his wife maureen  mimi rogers   his atypical teenage daughter penny  lacey chabert   his ingenious son will  jack johnson   and his beautiful scientist daughter judy  heather graham   despite everyones reluctance  the jupiter 2 spacecraft abandons planet earth and makes its way into the vast eternity of space  unknown to anyone but the audience  there is an evil doctor stowaway determined to sabotage the entire mission  dr  smith  gary oldman  has been hired by a group of rebel conspirators to turn the expedition sour  and dr  smith has reprogrammed a talking robot to  destroy robinson family   when everything that could go wrong does go wrong for both sides  the spaceship is warped to an unknown destination  and now the premise of being lost in space is complete  as for the audience  you will likely be lost in boredom by this point  wondering if the plot  like the jupiter 2  will ever get off the ground  its hard to tell who deserves the most blame  the incredibly bland and corny characters or the horrifically lame script  chabert is basically the only one to overdo it  sounding like a whiny munchkin on helium  if you  like me  were convinced by commercials that her voice was altered for some sort of plot twist where her body would be taken over by aliens  youre wrong  thats just her normal voice  in yet another example of a  friend  faltering on the big screen  leblanc is so incredibly dull and yet so obviously trying so hard to be so incredibly charming  make sense    it makes you want to shove his ass out the escape pod corridor without an escape pod  graham is a babe  thank goodness there was something for me to think about during this film  hurt  the black hole of excitement  sucks up any energy that might have been left  if hurt were available in tablet form  he would be a prescription strength sleeping pill  johnson isnt dull  hes just lame as the young know it all who winds up saving everybodys ass all the time  want an example of how cool this kid can be  how about when he convinces the robot to think with its heart and reconsider killing the family  hey  dont laugh  the thing actually listened to the mr  rogerswouldbeproud sentiment  but alas  if you thought a character couldnt be much worse  there was rogers as the epitome of generic  or  mother as she was known   why hire an actress  they couldve had a white cardboard cutout with the word mom printed on it  now that wouldve had some pizzazz  lost in space luckily doesnt suffer in every single category that it could have  the special effects are crisp  clear  and at least mildly captivating  unlike any of the presences onscreen save it be oldman  who plays his evil character with a great deal of fun and finesse  unfortunately  oldman is locked away for most of the film  giving us nothing but ample mocking opportunities to enjoy  while the special effects are pleasing to the eye  they are nothing you couldnt find in most modern scifi films  contact  for example  far exceeds this film in terms of imagery and imagination  lost in space just has too many shortcomings to ever be considered a work of cinematic art  with numerous contradictions  the time travel aspect was horribly flawed    wooden and corny acting  worse dialogue  and an ending so disappointing  youd be happier to have seen the entire robinson family get blown to smithereens  then again  with an ending like this film has  its obvious a sequel is already being considered  what an awful note to end on  knowing there could be more of this in a year or two  the attempt to be family oriented is commendable  but lost in space is lost with the illusion that special effects and the nostalgia of a classic tv series being revisited is enough to satisfy all age groups  well  danger potential movie goers  danger  this movie crash lands without ever breaking thru the atmosphere of mediocrity  
neg	so  its thirty years later  and oscar and felix are together again  that might have been an exciting notion if it wasnt for the fact that the  odd couple  of jack lemmon and walter matthau have been reunited in several recent movies  1993s  grumpy old men   1995s  grumpier old men   and 1997s  out to sea   i  e   grumpiest old men    so   the odd couple ii   i  e   the grumpiest old men of all  really   seems just another entry in a tired series  the plot is even similar to that of  grumpy old men  in that lemmon and matthaus mismatched characters are brought together by a romance between their children  oscars son  jonathan silverman  and felixs daughter  lisa waltz  are getting married  and former roommates felix ungar  lemmon  and oscar madison  matthau  meet at the airport and decide to share a car    then hilarity ensues  well  a few chuckles ensue anyway  neil simon  the awardwinning playwright who created oscar and felix  provides the screenplay  which is a shock  because the script is a piece of talentless hackwork from beginning to end  unlike the original playmovie   odd couple ii  doesnt find its humor in the personality conflict of its characters  instead  it depends upon a series of humorous situations  oscar and felix lose the car over a cliff  are caught smuggling mexicans over the border  take up with two women on the run from their violent husbands  the women are played by christine baranski of  cybill  and jean smart of  designing women    and hitch a ride with a man who dies in the desert  the original 1968 movie  the odd couple  remains a classic comedy  it introduced the motif of roommateasspouse that has provided gags for movies and sitcoms ever since  it was the second outing for the lemmonmatthau team  which debuted in 1966s  the fortune cookie    and they made a couple more worthwhile comedies   the front page   1974  and  buddy buddy   1981   before going their separate ways  the reunion of lemmon and matthau in  grumpy old men  six years ago was delightful  and its sequel seemed appropriate because it tied up some loose ends from the first movie  but  out to sea  and  the odd couple ii  are just beating a grumpy old horse   you can add lemmons  my fellow americans   i  e   grumpy old presidents   to that list  too   lets hope that hollywood offers these two actors something fresh to do  lets hope also that we see neil simons name on movies that do it justice  this is his first since 1993s  lost in yonkers    
neg	except for a few bright moments of good verbal comedy  that old feeling is embarrassing to sit through  bette midler and dennis farina play lilly and dan  actress and author  once married  now violently divorced  and back together one last time for their daughter mollys  paula marshall  wedding  lilly and dan hate each other passionately  so passionately that they have sex at the wedding and fall in love again  each ditches his or her current spouse of 14 years and runs off with the other  molly  married now only 24 hours  runs off in search of her irresponsible parents while her husband keith  jamie denton  tries to console the abandoned spouses  in mollys search for her parents  she somehow falls in love with lillys paparazzo joey  danny nucci   meanwhile  the newlywed keith ends up consoling dans wife rowena  gail ogrady  in bed  the audience i saw this with apparently thought that all the adultery was hilarious  im no dan quayle  but i thought it was a bit creepy  the message seemed to be  ignore your responsibilities unrepentantly and have fun fucking who you wish    family values  aside  theres something cruel about all this  perhaps this movie would have played well as a black comedy  but the movie is a romantic comedy  we are supposed to be rooting for these creeps  reiner and screenwriter leslie dixon tried to make it easier on us by making the victims unlikeable  lillys husband is a newage flake who rambles about  emotional valet parking   so we can write him off as irrelevant  dans wife is vain  manipulative  and jealous so we can write her off as a bitch  mollys husband is a careerconscious  selfcentered republican politician who thinks shes too fat  and just for good measure  he also fucked dans wife   so we can write him off as a prick  everyone else falls in love  but still  that somehow doesnt justify the actions of the movies main characters   hes a prick  or  shes a bitch  is no defense  the movie is somewhat redeemed by some funny dialog  often during heated arguments  and by aboveaverage performances by midler and farina  breaking out of his characteractor mold   other than that  its a standard romantic comedy with a very substandard gimmick  
neg	maybe this mission should have been scrubbed mission to mars a film review by michael redman copyright 2000 by michael redman theres a world of difference between artists and technicians  the artist has a vision to create something new  he may not do it well  it might be sloppy  but its something youve never seen before  a good technician can make it look good  but without direction from his own inner artist or someone else  its going to be just a xerox  obviously successful films need both skills  brian de palma is a masterful technician  hes spent his career copying others  most notably hitchcock  he usually knows exactly what to do to make a scene work  but only because he has learned it by rote  aside from rare flashes of originality  his films are often souldead  in de palmas latest  he turns his attention to stanley kubrick  to tell the truth  i enjoyed portions of this movie  but i liked it a lot better over 30 years ago when it was called  2001   i enjoyed it even more when it was titled  close encounters   nasa has set its sights for mars  when the first crew meets with disaster  a rescue mission is sent to the red planet  they dont do so well either  but eventually meet up the lone surviving astronautgonerasta and solve the mysteries of the universe  and its all so boring  there are so many scenes that just dont work  its difficult to begin  when the first crew is a few feet away from a raging massive upsidedown martian tornado  which looks remarkably like a sandworm from  dune   destroying everything in its path  they just hang out watching  error  the most interesting character  and thats not saying much  is killed off  error  the alien is laughable  error  the rest of the characters are the dullest people imaginable  error  theres some nice eyecandy  the face on mars  which turns out to be a giant metal thai buddha head  looks cool  a threedimensional holographic planetarium is more fun to watch than anything at disney world  maneuvering in space suits outside the ship seems realistic  but theres so much more that feels as if weve been there before  from  2001   theres the rotating space station  the blinding white room  from  close encounters   they solve a sound puzzle and play it to the aliens  the list goes on  the actors are mostly mobile wooden statues  even gary sinise and tim robbins cant muster enough emotion to convince us they are breathing  no one seems to care about anything that happens  you wont either  the absolutely worst sin is the blatant product placement as dr  pepper  with a 20 foot tall logo  saves the day  they should save the commercials for those insipid bits before the film  
neg	mulholland drive did very well at the cannes film festival  as you can see from the rating it did not do very well from me at the toronto international film festival  it may not be clear to the viewer why i am so negative on this film for most of the running time  in fact it is an interesting mystery story told on the backdrop of the hollywood film industry  toward the end of the film i think everything that has been built falls apart  the film was to be a pilot for a tv series but writer and director david lynch did not sell his tv pilot and i think he decided that he wanted to do something else with it  something else is what he did  the film opens with a woman  played by laura harring  about to be killed in a car when a car crash saves her life  she crawls away from the accident with a concussion and finds herself a bungalow with an unlocked door to sleep  meanwhile young vivacious betty  naomi watts  arrives in hollywood from canada  she wants to build a career as an actress  betty is a little surprised to find a woman sleeping in the borrowed bungalow  she does not know who the woman is  she is even more surprised when the woman awakes and does not herself know who she is  they fix on a name rita for her  but are not sure if this right or not  meanwhile local director adam kesher  justin theroux  has problems of his own  he is trying to cast one actress for his new film and is getting pressure from the producers and from crime figures to cast someone else  cammie rhodes  melissa george   these two threads are joined by a third one in which there is a strange and comic murder that goes terribly wrong  there is also a strange character called the cowboy  monty montgomery  adding to the confusion  in what was probably intended for the television pilot the film opens with a great vibrancy showing dancing 60s style under the credits  a lot of mulholland drive starts out fun  lynch wants you to know he could make an enjoyable stylish film  he just chooses not to  as with any david lynch film there is strange material added for little reason  there are no earthworms  but there are some decidedly strange david lynch touches  the film is a little long for the subject matter  toward the end it gets into some heavier violence and sex scenes  clearly not intended for the tv pilot  unfortunately some of the most important comments to make about this film would be spoilers  i will not mention them in the main body of the review but i give mulholland drive a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  mulholland drive spoiler warning  i have rated this film fairly low  you should read this only after seeing the film or deciding that you will not see the film  david lynch is in large part a dark satirist  most of his work is done in familiar genres but in some way shows their underside  in mulholland drive i think he is having a laugh at the expense of the crime film genre  what he does with this film is  are you sure you want to read this   playing off the audience expectations that there will be a simple explanation for what is going on  the first 80 of the film he tells a simple multithread crime story with clues sprinkled throughout  then suddenly at the end he turns the story on its ear with a large number of clues that appear that they should add up to something  the audience expectation is that they will add up  but he has given clues that are selfcontradictory  lynch wants the audience to argue about what they have seen afterward and come up with theories  in fact  the pointers are noticeably contradictory and until i hear a better explanation  i think lynch is merely playing a joke  there is a visual curiosity that was popular in the sixties  mad magazine called it a poiuyt  other sources called it a tri pronged ubar  look at small portions of it and makes sense  look at the whole figure and it does not  this film is  in my estimation  the cinematic equivalent of a tripronged ubar  
neg	ingredients  possessed plastic dolls in love  plastic dolls having sex starring  jennifer tilly  voice of brad dourif  katherine heigl  nick stabile  john ritter synopsis  this is the fourth film in the chucky series  which debuted in the late 1980s  basically  chucky is a plastic doll that can walk and talk because it is possessed by the spirit of a slain murderer  in bride of chucky  chuckys longtime girlfriend tiffany  jennifer tilly  dies and her spirit inhabits a female plastic doll through voodoo  dolls tiffany and chucky get married and embark on a quest to reach a cemetery in new jersey  where a mystical gem might enable them to be humans  the dolls stow away in the back of a vehicle driven by a newly eloped couple  so in the side plot  the couple suspects each other of being a murderer  opinion  bride of chucky is an attempt at horror with humor  but doesnt succeed  somehow  chucky moaning about mid life crisis  and how he should have gotten married does not make for a very scary chucky  and tiffany harping about mid life crisis  and how she should have gotten married does not make for a very scary tiffany  the suspenseless bride of chucky relies mostly on jennifer tillys cleavage to keep attention during the first half  and on occasional puns to keep attention during the second half  the best that can be said about bride of chucky is that it is sarcastic  
neg	watching the movie  i vowed to subtract half a star from the review because the filmmakers included a saccharine syrup  cute n cuddly  computergenerated monkey  if the monkey died  the movie got an extra half star  alas  the monkey showed up at the end  unharmed  to the wet sickly sound of gagging and rolling eyeballs  what that means is that lost in space actually deserved 2 stars  thats pretty generous  considering the movies camp lacked any hint of tongue in cheek  when will robinson  jack johnson  teaches his pet robot about friendship  you are actually supposed to buy it  so why such a seemingly high rating  there are a few reasons that made me unable to throw away the experience with the garbage  first  we saw the movie on opening night of the first day of operation of a brand new theater  the sound and screen kicked ass  nobody in the country enjoyed the movie as much as my audience did  and i dont necessarily mean that in a good way   also  there were more than zero scenes where i found myself rooting for the robinsons  or getting caught up in the movies tension  i even liked the computergenerated settings  i usually prefer to see models or sets  but the cg was more detailed than ive seen in a lot of movies  it looks like someone spent a little overtime to render some of the futuristic cities  also  gary oldman is never a bad actor  even though he is typecast as a villain  william hurt isnt too bad either  neither actor had a great role  but their performances were watchable  and perhaps i shouldnt admit this  but something about the tone and outlook of the movie brought me back to my childhood  there is very little swearing or blood  there is a strong moral message  saccharine though it is  there is a bit of romance  whose culmination after 2 hours is a  real  kiss  no sex   it felt like one of those disney movies that i so looked forward to when i was six  those movies were probably as bad as lost in space  but at the time  they were manna from heaven  that type of moviemaking is a lost art  now for the bad news  worst and most unforgivable was the incredibly bad dialogue  its squeakyclean  family fun  trying hard to be as hip as pulp fiction   you better hold on to your joystick   is one such line  and when a robinson is called upon to deliver a line about warp conduit thingamajigs  they inevitably stumble badly enough to embarrass even the lowliest star trek ensign  second worst  and closely related  is the screenplay  the storys exposition takes place at a press conference  which allows the writers to explain whats happening with the least amount of creativity  effort  or interest  once the story gets going  i do concede a momentary burst of interest once in a while  but on the whole  the situations that arise are silly and contrived  when gary oldman easily reprograms wills pet robot to kill the robinsons  my friend summed it up perfectly   he flipped the switch to evil    then theres the tone of the movie  the colorado daily said the film would have been more interesting if the central character was will robinson and not his father john robinson  then it could be an adventure movie  theyre mostly right  except that johnson  will  wasnt a good enough actor to carry it off  still  that the film has the robinson patriarch as our hero shows a lack of imagination  just because a movie is tame enough for kids doesnt mean that we have to bow to a  promise keepers  notion of whos the center of a family  many quality family films have been made with a nontraditional family structure  fly away home comes to mind  to much better effect  and the politics of the time seem a bit conservative and regressive for a futuristic movie  in star wars  the rebels were the good guys  we were rooting for those who were fighting against the system  in lost in space  the rebels are the bad guys  a terrorist force that must be killed  crushed and silenced so that our children may live free  that ominous excuse for violence almost makes me sympathize with the terrorists  finally  a few specific details deserve criticism  the movie tells us that the setting is the year 2056  why  why bother saying what year this is  just tell us its the future  i bring it up because the tv series was supposed to take place in 1997  setting a specific date only dates the movie and guarantees that it wont be timeless  not that this movie was really in the running anyway    then there is a scene that shows john robinson checking one of his controls on a chair that rises about fifteen feet on a pole  this silly waste of money reminded me of bugs bunnys barber chair  and only shows that the future is a time when spaceship designers havent learned a thing about ergonomics  one vaguely redeeming quality is that the end credits succeed where the rest of the film failed  it made lost in space look cool  the strong techno beat sampled the cheesiest dialogue and  out of context  made it sound hip  this is overlaid on a cool jumpy credit sequence with interesting distorted clips from the movie  but if thats the best part of the movie  i cant in good conscience recommend it  still  if you get stuck seeing it  as we did  you might be able to appreciate it if you keep your distance  think of liking bad movies as a child  and bring along your  bad movie bingo  cards  
neg	i was going to see ram shrasta on the big screen last night  but before that i stopped into my video store to rent some movies  luckily  my video guy was in the middle or recording ram shrasta  i knew it was going to be a bad print with only halffaces and poor sound quality  but i couldnt help myself    i got it  well  after watching it  it indeed was a bad print  i was glad i didnt dish out 7 to waste three hours of my time sitting in a bad theatre watching a bad movie  this movie really sucks  it had so many inconsistencies it was driving me crazy   for example  how can jackie shroff grow two feet of hair in just three or four days  jackie shroff looked really stupid with his steven seagal ponytail  the songs are bad  the acting is bad  especially deepti bhatnagars   and the direction is the worst of all  the comedy scenes with jagdish and johnny lever just made me want to throw up  i didnt even finish the movie    i couldnt take it anymore  note  but if anyone out there liked aatish  by the same director   i guess youd like this movie  its practically the same except that sanjay dutt is replaced with jackie shroff  aditya panscholi is the sidekick again   i was going to give it a zero  but i personally like jackie shroff  so i loosened up a little  he looked fresh  wore good clothes  as always   and his performance  even though it wasnt his best  was the only saving grace of the movie  
neg	starship troopers is a bad movie  i mean  a really  really  bad movie  not only does it cross the line of bad taste when it comes to blood  gore and body parts shown on the screen  it blissfully jumps over that line  apparently unaware that the movie trailers appeal to an audience of five to fifteen year olds  of which i saw many in the theatre   looking past the appalling sight of overdone violence  we are left with a movie with a thin plot at best  no strong lead characters  a blatant disregard for physics  and a very obvious naziesque theme  that being said  onto the review  the movie starts with a propaganda message from the federation  whos logo bears a  strong  resemblance to a nazi german eagle   urging the populace to go off and fight the bugs  who are attempting to destroy earth  the film shows large rallies with young children in attendance  pledging allegiance to the federation  again  sound familiar    as the movie progresses  we are shown terror tactic training  as a drill sargeant very graphically compound fractures one recruits arm  and throws a knife through anothers hand  eventually  the recruits embark on a journey to a location two thirds of the way across the milky way galaxy  to fight the bugs on their home planet  as our faster than light travelling  heroes  arrive on planet  they drop onto the planet  and burst our of their craft brandishing     what   you say   laser beam weapons  sonic weapons  phasers  photon cannons    nope  they hop out brandishing good old 1997 machine guns  pump action rifles  and tactical nuclear weapons  i guess a lot of physics money rd went into travel and not weaponry  as the assault begins  our group of troopers are seen walking in a straight line through a box canyon  two members of the group notice rocks slipping and falling above them  and one even sees a streak fly by  but disregards it as nothing  this of course  leads to more massive carnage  blood shed  and graphic depictions of limbs and heads being ripped and severed from their bodies  again  i see that military tactics in the future must have evolved at about the same pace as their weapons  in the end  we see neil patrick  doogie howser  harris burst onto the scene in what could accurately be described as a nazi ss trenchcoat  hat  and gloves  he does a vulcan mind meld on the giant slug  and then proclaims that the bugs are scared  this sets the troopers into a frenzy  as they are now one step closer to completing their goal  total genocide of a species  again  sound familiar     i have tried very hard not to step on and spoil the plot with this review  but given its nonexistence  i may have anyway  i could go on for pages ripping this movie apart  but dont want to bore you too badly  in short  i felt as if i were subjected to a mix between a pronazi war film with bugs substituted for allies  a drivers education accident scene film  and a complete blank screen  the plot  of course   i wouldnt recommend this movie to anyone  anywhere  under any circumstance  copyright  c  1997 tim jandt   
neg	capsule  one of the ten worst movies ever made  christopher lambert vs  evil ninjas in modernday japan    and nobody wins  the hunted is such a bad movie  so completely inept and so totally braindamaged that i could almost feel affection for it  i could see myself showing this movie to friends and getting a good jolly guffaw out of it  if it werent also insanely xenophobic and insulting  christopher lambert plays a computerparts salesman whos on business in japan  he meets a slinky young woman  joan chen  and has a torrid night of lovemaking with her  and then manages to witness her death at the hands of an evil ninja clan and their leader  john lone   apparently they had some unfinished business that could only be concluded with her getting slaughtered  since lambert is a witness  hes of course the next one to die  lets stop and think about this for a second  if lambert were in real life being chased by fanatical devotees to a ninja secret society  hed have a lifespan you could only measure with an atomic clock  in this movie  the ninja manage to kill just about everyone except him  i imagine the japanese gods smiled down on lambert and provided him with a goof field that radiates out about ten feet from his body  you know what a goof field is  that invisible zone in which anyone who has intent to do harm to you becomes a klutz no matter what their real dexterity is  this is  of course  only the beginning of the movies problems  lambert eventually finds pseudosafety with a longhaired modernday samurai  yoshio harada  and his partner  yoko shimada  who you may remember as lady toda buntaro in shogun  they are the two best things in the movie  in every scene they have authority and presence  and they actually look like they belong here  even when dressed in full samurai armor and wielding bows  the script doesnt know what the hell to do with them  lone  as the bad guy  is zerodimensional  the only badguy cliche he has to wallow around in is the one about how the bad guy always has exotic women dripping off of him  in the hunted  this is elevated to the level of an insulting stereotype  whats funny is that the peripheral characters in the hunted are not sterotypes  theres a nice little scene with a tokyo cabdriver  and a girl in a pachinko parlor  but many of the main characters are unsalveageably hateful  also  the phenomenal instrumental troupe kodo has assembled a superior soundtrack  get the cd  that manages to survive despite the drek its been designed to accompany  there is an extended battle scene in the middle of the movie that is almost reason enough to watch the whole thing  a gory  excellently staged fight on the bullet train that shows some real imagination for a moment  and then smothers it by trying to clumsily recouple the whole thing with the movies relentlessly stupid plot  by the time we get to the final showdown  with lambert getting to wield his own sword  which  judging from the hamhanded editing of one scene  was forged in seven hours or so   we no longer care  were not even given any definitive information about whether or not one of the key characters lives or dies  someone once said that the key to good art  good movies  good books  whatever  is to start somewhere interesting  end up somewhere interesting  and show respect for the audience all along the way  this movie bungles two out of three  badly  
neg	hello kids  today the movie studios want to take over my critical review  and somehow persuade you that armageddon  the summers biggest blockbuster  is a film for everybody  and remember  if a film is for everybody  and if it makes the most money for the summer  it must be good  right  armageddon is a comedy  with a capital  c   it stars bruce willis  who has a hundred oneliners  it has a tiny rock land directly in the middle of a heated argument in new york city   and  chuckle  chuckle  one of those new yorkers  survives  with charcoal all over his face   snorkle   sniff   hiccup  and it has steve buscemi as a genius who wants to work for an oil rig  kneeslap   isnt this just so  so  funny   armageddon also has romance  with a capital  r   it has a tender moment between  forbidden lovers  ben affleck and liv tyler  with  with  animal crackers  and it has will patton as a long lost husband trying to reunite with his separated wife and child  who thinks hes a salesman  gurgle   sniff   awwwww  and it has steve buscemi spewing more oneliners about minors and strippers  umm  moving right along    armageddon also has lots of action  with a capital  a   not just any action sequence would do  it must have original action sequences that are designed to thrill  like  drill  darn it  drill    and  lets have inept people destroy the mir space station   cant you hear your heart beating   and steve buscemi goes crazy and starts shooting at people   what drama   lastly  armageddon is out there to save the planet  with a capital  p   this cant be any old thrillerwe must have an asteroid  the size of texas head straight for earth   and  and  we must have beautiful scenic worldwide shots  like paris  blown up  and  and  we must have peoples of all colors  nations  and religions  join hand in hand for one final  hopeful  hug  the final sequence  where muslims in prostrate worship stand upin domino fashionto cheer the victory  filled me with such emotional goo that i wanted to  to  to rip the screen into shreds   i mean  i mean  cheer for ecstatic joy   it was over   comedy   c   romance   r   action   a   planet   p   okay  kids  what does that spell  seriously  folks  any film that could take the indiefilms most valuable talents  and throw it all away with a bruce willis vehicle  a hundredmillion dollar budget  but have cheapo sets and lousy special effects  is  bottom line  living proof that hell exists  and has made a multipicture deal with universal  in the midst of all the action  the terseness  the oneliners  the fake sets  the overall waste of time  i recognized matt malloy playing an underwritten nasa technician   malloy  give me a reading    remember him  he was a principal player in last years in the company of men  a film that was more powerful  shocking  terrifying  funny  and shocking than armageddon could ever aspire to be  armageddon cost over 100 million to make  itcom cost a paltry 30  000  need i say more  
neg	deserves recognition for  achieving the nearimpossible task of making a grander monument to selflove than steven seagals on deadly ground  capsule review  a question  after the floating baby ruth that was waterworld  what in the  were the hollywood execs who gave kevin costner the money to make another postapocalyptic movie thinking  in this 3 hour advertisement for his new hair weave  costner plays a nameless drifter who dons a long dead postal employees uniform and gradually turns a nukedout usa into an idealized hippydippy society   judging by the costuming at the end of the movie  the main accomplishment of this brave new world is in reinventing polyester   when hes not pointing the camera directly at himself  director costner does have a nice visual sense  and it is undeniably fascinating to see such an unabashedly jingoistic film in the trustnoone 90s  but by the time the second hour rolled around  i was reduced to sitting on my hands to keep from clawing out my own eyes  mark this one  return to sender   
neg	starring ben stiller  elizabeth hurley  maria bello  janeane garofalo screenplay by david veloz  based on the novel by jerry stahl directed by david veloz permanent midnight is a pretty bad movie  though it took me a few days to conclude this  the film is more masturbatory than bleak  with its main character intent on confounding us with his stupidity   he has a 6000 a week drug habit   ultimately  as adapted by veloz  jerry stahl comes off as one of those playground braggarts who chainsmokes at the age of twelve  you are less mystified by his selfdestructive nature than bored into a stupor yourself  ben stiller plays stahl  a young author who arrives in l  a  with ambition and a nasty drug habit  he eventually gets a gig for 5000week writing for a sitcom called mr  chompers  a thinly veiled standin for  alf   chompers looks just like alf except hes blue   marries a producer  hurley  so she can get a green card  and hooks up with a spanish mother  liz torres   who shoots heroin with him in the afternoons  insert proverbial downward spiral here  permanent midnight is structured mostly as a flashback  with recovering addict bello meeting stiller  at a fastfood restaurant  where stiller works the drivethru as part of rehab   taking him back to a hotel  and between bouts of serious screwing  listening to his life story  ive spent the last week trying to figure out why stiller never seemed to find the frighteningly gorgeous hurley attractiveworse  ive been trying to figure out why hurley did find stiller attractive  as stahl  stiller displays none of the charm or wit one would expect  posttheres something about mary  of either the actor or a comedy writer  what separates stahl from the hundreds of other hollywood punkjunkies  it seems  is that stahl wrote a book about his idiocy  watch stahl shoot heroin next to a baby  watch stahl spoil numerous pitch meetings with smackfueled babble  stiller gives a technically flawless performance  the film could double as a documentary on how to be a junkie  but permanent midnight is mostly soulless  when the movie poses the question will stahl be saved  and then answers it in the form of bellos character  basically a shrink in black panties   could a person care less  in the film version of his autobiography of the same name  stahl doesnt need saving  he needs someone who will sit there and listen to him go on about himself  if you learn anything about the other characters in this movie  its that they are the most incredibly tolerant hollywoodtypes known to man   stahl also seems to be the only person at schmooze parties doing drugs  is this hollywood    california   i learned very little about the entertainment business from permanent midnight and a whole lot about an egotistical lunkhead  of course you know that stahl triumphed because he lived to talk about his problems  so  basically  his drug habit got him a book deal  a movie based on his life  and now hes apparently collaborating with stiller on future projects  so much for the moral of that story  temporary midnight is more like it  bill chambers  september  1998 
neg	the camera zooms in incredibly close  it focuses on the closed eyes of a person presumed dead  all of a sudden  with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse  his eyelids open  the camera zooms in incredibly close  it focuses on one of the characters desperately running for her life  then  with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse  she bumps into the killer  the camera zooms in incredibly close  it focuses on a door from where seemingly strange sounds emanate  all of a sudden  with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse  the doors swing open to reveal whats inside  closeup thrillshots such as these seemed to elicit more laughter from the audience rather than genuine fear  which is a pretty good sign that youre not watching the thriller that the director had originally envisioned  rather  you adopt the opinion that the characters are so goofy and so unaware of the trouble that theyre in  that you stop caring about who lives  who dies and where the story goes  instead  you become more interested in how the characters get killed off  the four young teenagers who are the potential sacrificial lambs for this movie are helen and barry and julie and ray  two couples and dear friends to one another  during the summer just after high school graduation  they take a fateful drive down a dark mountain highway  suddenly  without warning  their car hits someone whom the teens presume was killed as a result of that collision  fearing jail time and possible manslaughter charges if they confess  they instead decide to dump the body into the ocean and make a pact never to discuss the episode again  a year goes by and things among the four friends begin to change  relationships fizzle  future dreams crumble  and attitudes change  but  they can not forget what they did  and apparently  neither can someone else  someone begins to send letters to all four of the teens with the frightening message   i know what you did last summer   the letterwriter  a figure in a rubber slicker wielding a large metal hook  soon makes his presence known and begins to hunt down the four teens  its now up to the four of them to try to figure out who the killer is before its too late  while this movie has some nice visually eerie effects  too much of its impact had to be generated with extreme closeups  while the level of suspense was choppy at best  there is so much more that this movie could have been  but decided to give us nothing but cheap thrills  it could have been a clever whodunit  but discovering who ultimately was the killer made me just shrug my shoulders  it could have explored the changed friendships after a year of adulthood  but seemed to only include that aspect to add 15 more minutes to the film  it could have given us smarter characters who knew that anytime youre alone and you see shadowy figures moving about  you dont walk towards them yelling  hello   once you yell  hello   you can expect an extreme closeup  a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse  its difficult to be in suspense when you know whats about to happen  the only redeeming aspect of the movie is that i now have a neat idea for a halloween costume  but im not sure if the local costume store sells rubber slickers and hooks  the horror that i experienced from this film is realizing that i actually went to see it  
neg	 goodbye  lover  sat on the shelf for almost a year since its lukewarm reception at the cannes film festival last may  and one look will tell you why  its a mess  and thats  way  before ellen degeneres shows up  the film is one of those torrid doubleindemnity crime stories that  in this case  required the services of three screenwriters  i suspect that one wrote a sexy thriller  one wrote a murder mystery  and one wrote a comedy  then director roland joff  tried to piece it all together in the editing room while scratching his head in bewilderment  i didnt laugh at ellen degeneres much  i think i was supposed to   degeneres is horrible and her character is even worse  a toughtalking vulgar cop with a bad wardrobe and bad hair  either degeneres is wearing a wigas most of the actors appear to beor she doesnt yet have enough clout to secure a hairstylist  every single word out of her mouth is supposed to be racy and hip  but her incessant wisecracking is poorlywritten and merely stupid  her reaction to the brutal killing of a jogger is  at least she died healthy   and thats one of her wittier asides  degeneres sgt  rita pompano is called in to investigate the allegedly accidental death of    wait  to give away too much of the plot would all but ruin a film that has very little going for it outside of its numbing plot twists and multiple triplecrosses  its best described this way  sultry sexpotreal estate agent sandra dunmore  patricia arquette  is married to jake  a  creative yet unfocused   and alcoholic  advertising rep  played by dermot mulroney  sandra likes to act out her deepseated sexual fantasies and jakes brother ben  the suaveasever don johnson  likes to help  ben is also coming on to his petite  mousy coworker peggy blaine  marylouise parker  and someone  somewhere  is planning to cash in on that huge life insurance policy of his  the film is ripe with cheating lovers cheating on each other and back again  although there are some genuine surprises  the plot twists get too contrived too quickly  probably around the time degeneres gumcracking gumshoe appears  at least the former  ellen  star is going for something a little different  arquette turns in yet another of her stilettoheeled  platinum blonde bombshell roles  see   lost highway    true romance   while quoting embarrassing lines like  im not wearing any underwear   i hope she got paid a lot of money to do this  heres an example of some of the films flatout stupidity  sandra purchases a used car and disguises herself in a red wig prior to stalking two of the films duplicitous lovers  she drives the motorbiking couple off a cliff while blaring her favorite  the sound of music  on her car stereo  intent on identifying herself to her hapless victims  so what was the point of the wig and the car   the sound of music  stuff might be a reference to  the wizard of oz  allusions in david lynchs  wild at heart   but if so joff  must have forgotten that  wild at heart  was a despicable movie  its hard to believe that  goodbye  lover  was directed by the same person who made  the killing fields  and  the mission   its not  however  hard to see why it sat on the shelf for so long  it should have stayed there  
neg	as with any genx mtv movie  like last years dead man on campus   the movie is marketed for a primarily male audience as indicated by its main selling points  sex and football  those two items  wrapped in a guiltypleasure package  are sure to snare a sizeable box office chunk initially  but sales will decline for two reasons  first  the football sequences are nothing new  nor can they be  the sports genre isnt mainstream and its been retread to death  second  the sex is just bad  despite the appearance of a whipped cream bikini or the allnight stripclub party  theres nothing even remotely tantalizing  the acting is mostly mediocre  not including the fantastic jon voight  cultivating his usual sliminess  voight gives an unexpectedly standout performance as west canaan coyotes head coach bud kilmer  kilmer is the driving force behind the coyotes twentytwo conference championships and two state titles in thirty years  this year he plans to make it twentythree  unfortunately  when his star quarterback  lance harbor  paul walker   goes down for the count  hes got to rely on the unreliable abilities of backup john moxon  james van der beek   moxon leads the team through its last four games  and then must cope with his newfound stardom  the effect it has on his relationship with girlfriend julie  amy smart   and other temptations that abound in footballcrazy west canaan  most regions of the country are not nearly as footballcrazy as texas  and so the atmosphere is likely to be lost on most  similarly  the set design is wrong for a high school setting  the teams are decked out with sparkling uniforms  radio headsets  which never seem to work  however  and instead require coaches to signal plays manually   and even a giant bronze statue of coach kilmer  these elements  as well as the heavy drinking and carousing  might be more appropriate on a college campus  but mtvs core audience is the high school demographic  this focus is further emphasized by the casting  james van der beek  of tvs  dawsons creek   is an understandable choice for the reluctant hero  although he never manages to do anything with the role  other stars are similarly young and unmemorable  theres not much that goes right about varsity blues  and theres not much to like about it  either  everything herein has already been done  and if it hasnt  the movie manages to botch it one way or another  this is certainly missable  
neg	nicolas cage comes up with an ingenious survival mechanism for his role in the winkandaconcussivenudge bombastorama con air  the opening credits sequence introduces us to cage as cameron poe  a gulf war veteran convicted of manslaughter and serving eight years in prison after an illfated barroom brawl  the prison scenes are accompanied by voiceovers in which poe  in a languid southern drawl  describes prison life to his wife back home and offers simple homilies for the daughter he has never met  if the scene gives you a tickle of familiarity  it probably should  cage appears to realize that con air is going to be utterly dimwitted and ridiculous  and that hes going to have to do something to keep himself entertained  and thus he slips into a familiar  surreal role as his own commentary on the proceedings  cage plays cameron poe as a buffedup version of raising arizonas h  i  mcdonnough  cage should have known what he was getting himself into  he got a paycheck from jerry bruckheimer last year for the rock  and if theres one thing you can count on from a bruckheimer production  even without his late partner don simpson   its that you can count on seeing everything you saw in the last bruckheimer production  the critical difference between the rock and con air is cages performance  in the rock  cage appeared to be having the time of his life jumping into the action fray for the first time  that sense of discovery has been replaced by a wry selfawareness  while the plot of con air finds poe a parolee on board a hijacked prison transport plane whose goal is just to get home  cages goal is different but just as simple  to get out of the film with some measure of dignity intact  audiences  too  should know what theyre getting themselves into with a bruckheimer production  in fact  the marketing people are counting on it  no one who loathed the rock for its sweargruntblast repetitiveness will be converted by con air  no one who loved the rock for exactly the same reasons will be dissuaded  director simon west  yet another tv commercial auteur plucked by bruckheimer from the advertising equivalent of the schwabs soda fountain  delivers exactly the kind of adrenalinetestosterone cocktail which could launch an endocrinology lecture  its perversely appropriate that one sympathetic con spends most of the flight nearing a diabetic coma  like insulin  con air does the work of a gland   what he doesnt deliver is a moment of suspense  a bruckheimer film has no use for hitchcocks notion that showing you the bomb under the desk creates a more interesting scene than just blowing up the desk  a really  really big desk and a really  really big bomb will serve the purpose nicely  if either west or bruckheimer were interested in genuine tension  they might have done something with con airs creepiest setup  at a desert stop for the planeload of convicts  serial killer garland greene  steve buscemi  wanders of into a trailer park where he meets a little girl having a tea party in a drained swimming pool  their teteatete is eerie and menacing  providing a welcome shift in tone and giving buscemi a chance to stand out in a cast with too many villains  danny trejo  ving rhames and a characteristically reptilian john malkovich among them   in fact  con air usually opts for too much of something when the tiniest measure of restraint would have been an improvement  too many characters  too much editing  too many dopey punch lines  too much of the cheap  ugly appeals to machismo which characterize too many bruckheimer efforts  it is that kind of exhausting excess to which cage is responding with his detached performance  while malkovich goes for the outrageous and john cusack  as a u  s  marshal  goes for earnest  cage looks like he just wants to go to sleep  his recycled raising arizona performance is a means of escape  his chase after a stuffed bunny a continuation of his pursuit of that big box of huggies  it doesnt bode well for cages appearance in faceoff later this month  perhaps he already realizes that all he can do in action films is more of the same over and over  theres a word for people like you  nicolas  that word is called recidivist    repeat offender  
neg	a big house  a big director  jan de bont of speed and twister fame  a big star  catherine zetajones  hot of the heels of entrapment  6  510  and zorro  a big remake of the haunting  and big special effects  so what do they all amount to  unfortunately for us  a big bore  plot  a hotshot doctor brings three insomniacs to an old  spooky mansion for controlled testing  unbeknownst to the patients  the good doctor is actually conducting his own cover project that has to do with the psychology of fear  critique  this movie just didnt scare me one bit  sure  it creeped and spooked me out a little here and there  but on the whole  it took waaaaay too long to get going  provided very little meat in the plot  went way past its own bedtime  and basically relied on grunts  the muttering of childrens voices and overthetop special effects  to scare us  well  this film didnt do much for me  and they might as well have called it the  haunting of lily taylor   since shes basically the only character who had any real depth  background or reason to be in the house in the first place  dont get me wrong  catherine zeta was sweet window dressing  despite my continued perception of her faint mustachesee entrapment   and owen wilson was good as the standard  comic relief   but come on people  if youre going to have us sit through two hours in a theater with these folks  how bout giving them a little more than oneliners as dimension  neeson was also wasted as the smart  british guy  its all too sad  cause certainly the  idea  seemed like a good one  see the shining  910  for a close to perfect example of a creepy gone awry   but the story was thin  the conclusion was laughable  be gone    poof   and the special effects  well  they sure were nice to look at  but not for a moment did one of them scare  or even for a splitsecond  have me believe that they were anything more than hollywood special gadgetry  see it for zetajones  or if you like special effects and scary movies that take forever to get going  and provide very little payback  otherwise skip it and check out the original or the ultimate movie about spooky homes from the netherworld  the shining  little known facts about this film and its stars  goofy actor owen wilson coscripted indie favorites rushmore  810  and bottle rocket with director wes anderson  his brother luke wilson is also an actor  who once dated drew barrymore for a year or so  brother andrew is also an actor  singer lisa loeb is listed in the credits as having portrayed the character of olivia morice  but i personally did not notice her  she is well known for her number one single  stay  i missed you   and goofy glasses  the creaks and moans heard throughout the house were prerecorded and played during filming in order to get a more natural expression of fear out of the actors  catherine zetajones is currently dating flabby ass actor michael  sex is my life  douglas  she stands 58   in 1998  actor michael rapaport pleaded guilty to the aggravated harassment of lily taylor  he was ordered to stay away from her and undergo counseling for one year  actor bruce dern  who plays the throwaway role of the gatekeeper in this film  was once nominated for an oscar for best supporting actor for his role in coming home  director jan de bont was born in holland  and began his lengthy career as a cinematographer on films as die hard  hunt for red october and basic instinct  directed by another dutchman  paul verhoeven  actor todd field also played a small but pivotal role in stanley kubricks last film  eyes wide shut  he was nick nightingale  the pianist  this film was originally titled the haunting of hill house  
neg	its always a bad sign when the core audience of a film  children  are either walking out early or are halfasleep when the credits roll at the end of a film  that about sums up the dreadful ugliness of 102 dalmatians  a cold pea soup of cute animals  stupid home alone antics  a boring puppy love subplot between dumb humans  and glenn close reprising her best joan crawford impression  indeed  walt disney is rolling over in his grave again  cursing john hughes name for making the original liveaction 101 dalmatians  one of the worst kiddie flicks of all time  and now its sequel  the main culprit behind the hideousness of 102 dalmatians is its predecessor  101 dalmatians  the original made more than 100 million dollars at the box office  spawned a torrid collection of  collectible  items that ended up months later in the discount bins of walmarts across the country  and generally made every kid on the planet want a damn dalmatian pup for christmas  well  its been about four years since then  and dalmatian fever is coming back  and this time its digitally enhanced  heres the story  cruella de vil  glenn close  is released from prison due to the  cure  of her puppy homicide urges by one dr  pavlov   oh  how witty   she rejoins the world as a dog lover and is assigned to a probation officer  who oddly turns out to be her victim from the original film  cruella then becomes ella  dog lover  until the plot twists  like a dog with his leash caught on the back of a moving truck  and she becomes the evil vixen again  a kidnapping plot unfurls again as cruella decides she still needs her dalmatian coat  but she now needs 102 dalmatians instead of the commonly used 101 dalmatian formula  at this point  i was envying those kids filing out of the theater  how low have glenn close and gerard depardieu  as the films villain  sunk in the film business  its almost laughable in a sadistic way to watch close walk around in costumes that seem to be pulled from the wardrobe of flash gordon  and depardieu    how can a french guy have a bad french accent  and never mind the toilet brush haircut  the only minutely positive selling point i can even think to point out is the talking bird with a british accent  courtesy of eric idle  that thinks hes a rottweiler  now thats funny  
neg	 the animal  is a marginally inspired comedy that only manages to lumber along  generating just enough momentum to keep it from stalling  its clunky and slow  like watching an 18wheeler trying to accelerate up a hill  there are certainly better things you can do with your time  actually  if youve seen the trailer  then you already know the plot and have seen its funniest moments  the story centers on bland marvin  rob schneider   who is an evidence clerk at the local police department that yearns to be a real officer  but hes afflicted with loseritis  dogs attack him  neighbors torment him  children bully him  and his coworkers ignore him  truthfully  with his bad haircut  seemingly modeled after weird al yankovic  little richard  and giant poodles  and his unenthusiastic demeanor  wed probably throw tomatoes at him just for fun  this is actually bad because you cant like a character if you cant develop sympathy for him  we never do  and it may be just as well that he drives off a cliff and plummets to the canyon floor  however  marvin is found by an eccentric doctor  michael caton  who uses a radical and experimental procedure to save him  implanting our doofus with various animal parts and organs  as a result  marvin develops heightened senses and increased agility and speed  he can smell drugs hidden anywhere on a body  swim with the speed of a dolphin  and can run as fast as a cheetah  imagine the comedic possibilities that arise from this operation  with his enhanced abilities  he could now reap vengeance on all those who have shunned him  however  the spirit of the film takes a raunchy turn  and instead  marvin spends most of his time trying to subdue or satiate his voracious appetite and his animalistic  sexual urges  goats beware  he also chases cats  urinates to mark his territory  or growls at his enemies  what he shouldve done was stick his head in the sand like an ostrich  equally tenuous is its other running joke  which involves one of his friends  guy torry  who constantly complains that everyone is treating him too nicely because hes black   its reverse racism   he declares as he blows smoke into the faces of strangers but none of them says anything  this element doesnt work the first time its mentioned  and it becomes increasingly trite with every recurrence  you dont have to be as wise as an owl to realize that  the animal  is tame  if theres any reason to see this film  its to see colleen haskell who makes her big screen debut  remember her  she was voted off in week 11 of the 13week program   survivor   here  she plays marvins sunny love interest  while her role required very little actual acting  she seemed very comfortable  even when marvin licks the side of her face like a lapping dog    yuck    with her adorable disposition  radiant smile  and playful innocence  she could be a meg ryan in the making  its too bad that shes in such a mediocre offering 
neg	romeo is bleeding wants to carry the unusual flavor of reservoir dogs or bad lieutenant  with director peter medak  whose previous credits include the good films let him have it and the krays  and topnotch character actors gary oldman and lena olin  they seemed likely to be a successful combination  those mentioned films  however  brought something to the screen that romeo is bleeding did not  a solid  wellwritten screenplay  call me cynical  but the jobs of writer and producer dont seem to mix well  gary oldman plays jack grimaldi  a good cop turned bad  selling information to the mob and cheating on his wife  his cheating is obvious enough to obtain his nickname  although the name doesnt provide any insight or analogy to the shakespearean character  jack has become addicted to  feeding the hole   a hole in the ground where he stores his payoff money  when he realizes his colleagues are being shot  he feebly attempts to get out  gary oldmans performance is disappointingly weak  he seems nearly bored  in the process  he also gets tangledup with mona demarkov  a russian mobsterette who wants to take over the territory from top boss falcone  played adequately by roy scheider  demarkov  played by lena olin  is a tough but tremendously sexy woman with seemingly no problems maneuvering within the mob world  this character is combination of both linda hamilton and arnold schwarznegger from terminator 2  i cant remember seeing a character quite like her  after being shot  handcuffed  and thrown in the back seat of a car  she still manages to cause an accident  kick out the windshield with her legs  grab a suitcase full of money  plus some important documentation   climb through the rubble  land on her shot leg  and still succeed at running for safety  what a woman  lena olins performance is the only glimmer in this dismal film  anabella sciorra is wasted in her role as romeos wife  there is little insight into her character  shes depressed  she makes obvious references  she mopes around the house  juliette lewis  as romeos girlfriend  is treated with the same cliche attitudes  although ms  lewis portrayal certainly didnt improve it  both women were anything but sexy or attractive  poorly developed characters aside  the screenplay also suffers from several logistical problems  it is so discouraging to watch a film and want to shout at the main character  not  to do something  for example  jack and his friends attend a funeral to hang in the background to scopeout the mob scene  fine  jack spots the big boss with his goons by the gravesite  fine  what does jack proceed to do  he brushes his friends off by telling them he isnt feeling well  then strolls over to the boss  why  the boss had all ready threatened him  falcone simply takes the opportunity to issue more threats by ordering his goons to take off some of jacks toes by the gravesite  i guess they werent worried about any federal agents lingering around after the funeral     or heres another  demarkov setup her own death by cutting off her arm with a circular saw  she proceeded to set the place on fire  wouldnt the flames burn off the fingerprints  arent dental records more important  as bright and resourceful as she was supposed to be  couldnt she come up with a better plot   and it took her no time at all to get a goodfitting  functional prosthesis   lack of attention to detail certainly adds up in a film  this film doesnt even add up the large details  there is little or no consistency in the storyline  not much makes sense  the direction lacks cohesion  surprising from a director whose previous credits are impeccable  the moods shift  the styles shift  and no one can seem to decide if it is a serious film or satire of one  so while it certainly isnt reservoir dogs  it certainly isnt diva  theres plenty more to tear apart in this film  my advice to someone who hasnt seen it to to wait until it comes on video  there are some quotable lines that would provide a campy evening if not taken seriously  its not a boring film  just not a good one  or an intelligent one  
neg	54 is dull  perfunctory  uninspired  and boring  a greater writer might have created a lyrical sentence for each of those adjectives  flowing in lovely arangements with soaring metaphors  i  however  would rather cut to the chase  54 is dull  perfunctory  uninspired  and boring  there is nothing in it  not a glimpse of depth  nor a shimmer of intelligence or insight  there is no electricity in any of the scenes  or a moment of interest in the story or its subplots  and its underdeveloped  and features an array of bland characters played by actors who think theyre in this years boogie nights  they are so wrong  the picture has been assembled by mark christopher  based on this film  i dont know how he got a job in the business  54 is supposed to be an amazing insight into the world of the dance club of the same name  which originated in the 70s and closed down in the 80s  i dont know if this film went into production after boogie nights was released  but christopher has managed to plagiarize paul thomas andersons brilliant work in every possible way  from the framework of the plot down to the style of the cinematography  what it lacks is everything that made boogie nights great  depth  intelligence  energy  fascinating characters  and challenging themes  54 cant even measure up to the last days of disco  which is flawed  but still smart and entertaining  its remarkably bad timing  id say  to release a film this tedious after a couple of noteworthy pictures of the same kind  i have exaggerated  though  there is one interesting character  and one terrific performance  that character is steve rubell  played with more perceptiveness by mike myers than this limp production deserves  steve rubell is the owner of studio 54  and if christopher had focused on him  then myers could have forced a good film out of this wreck all by himself  alas  we are instead guided to endure the trials of a young man named shane  ryan phillippe   a goingnowhere new jersey teen who gets a job in the club  thanks to rubells homosexual impulses  its here that he meets his friends  the array of uninteresting characters  his coworker  greg  brecklin meyer   his wife  anita  salma hayek   and  of course  the love interest  julie black  neve campbell   shane is just an innocent young fool in the beginning  and he has a reasonably sturdy home life   some of the scenes with his father border on interesting  while heather matarazzo  who plays his sister  pushes phillippe off the screen   but he decides to envelop himself in the disco scene  and succumb to peer pressure and to drugs  why his  friends  push him into drugs is never really explained  but the fact that they are  friends  is questioned only is superficial ways  greg gets really mad at shane because hes been elevated to bartender status   there isnt a single conflict that takes center stage  except that shane has some kind of unexplored reservation with the business in which he works  most of the film is dumb  and most of the dialogue is inane  theres a scene late in the film in which shane confronts julie black  and  in the next scene  theyre arminarm without a bit of development  then  theyre kissing in a bowling alley  this is five minutes of material  thrown into the picture at the last minute  well past the onehour mark  and this isnt a long film to begin with   campbell is a talented actress  but she needs a role that gives her a little depth  this one doesnt  and phillippe has almost no presence whatsoever  this performance pales in comparison to mark whalbergs starmaking role in boogie nights  he seems dumb and misguided  and his voice never changes tone  i guess he was picked for the color of his hair and the shape of his body  but he seems pretty lanky to me  hes all wrong for a lead role  but it doesnt help that christopher has forgotten to develop his characters  by the end of 54  shanes most notable trait is his stupid  fake accent  the rest of the performances are wasted  hayek is an energetic  talented young actress  and does almost nothing here  meyer is endearing  but allowed to be no deeper than cardboard  only myers  by sheer force of talent  manages to rise above christophers wadingpool of a script  rubell has been written just as depthless as the rest of the characters  but myers is good enough to inject subtleties that help round out the performance  in fact  myers is the sole reason to see 54  and all it really does is make you wish that the film had revolved around him  ive read that studio 54 has been recreated down to the last detail  frankly  i dont care  its easy to recreate something technical like this  a fairly skilled production designer and a few carpenters can manage such a task  besides  christopher keeps the lights so low that the sets are invisible  anyway  aside from myers performance  54 is a complete failure  its dull  perfunctory  uninspired  and boring  some may find my comparisons to boogie nights unfair  but theyre so obvious to me  in any event  54 is pallid without the contrast  it doesnt even work as mindless entertainment  its so shallow that the most escapist viewers are likely to dismiss it  so  dont forget those key words  dull  perfunctory  uninspired  and boring  everything else i said was just padding  
neg	an experience like baby geniuses can have certain effects on an average moviegoer  you may be scarred for life after seeing this petrified piece of garbage  which is so disarmingly horrible that it may cause you to ponder its hollywood existence  when i think of the screenwriters behind this film  i picture a room full of monkeys  the monkeys are pounding on their typewriters while scratching themselves  all of the monkeys combine their efforts  hop in a cab and take the finished product downtown to director bob clarks office  the designated monkey explains the plot by jumping up and down on clarks desk while flailing his arms and shrieking  the director appears to be deep in thought  until he slams his fist down on the desktop and exclaims i love it     the writing behind this project is embarrassing  for your amusement  i will explain the plot  dr  kinder  kathleen turner  and dr  heep  christopher lloyd  are two of the coldhearted executives at the baby geniuses institute  where peculiar studies are going on  as the story goes  there is an ancient myth explaining that babies  ages 2 and under  know all the secrets of the world from previous life experiences  when they move past this phase  they become like any other drooling toddler  kinder and heep want to unlock the secrets using their test babies  namely little sylvester  sly for short   who can break in or out of any given situation so efficiently that he would be right at home on the mission  impossible team  there is so much crap derived from this premise  despite the fact its virtually identical to the plot in look whos talking   a far superior film in any league   you will be able to determine the quality of the film by examining the opening scene  sylvester has broken out and managed to elude several security guards with his amazing intellect and kungfu tactics  question  its obvious the babies are supersmart  but why are they able to fight like jackie chan   the adults in this film are furiously beaten by these youngsters in diapers  its a shock when writers will stoop this low just to draw cheap laughs by using john hughes familiar home alone formula  i also found it disturbing that the babies in this film have attitude and endless 90s knowledge  quoting numerous movies and insulting their adult captors  the effects in baby geniuses  similar to the talking animals in babe  are pathetic  the editing is a disaster  and the jokes are never funny  the only reason viewers may avoid vomiting is the argument that the babies are cute  i suppose they are  i can admit to smiling a few times because the babies were cute  other instances  though  i was howling in laughter due to the inane stupidity of the script  there are supporting characters who have no personality whatsoever  their entire existence is based on punch lines  peter macnicol and kim cattrall  as an unwilling couple who have adopted sylvesters twin  are both miscast  then again  i dont suppose any performer could handle the uneven material without looking incredibly stupid  meanwhile  dom deluise plays a fellow who gets hit in the crotch with a monkey wrench  hahaha   i would avoid baby geniuses at all costs  instead of watching this  i would recommended filling your bathtub with cement and going snorkeling  or perhaps you would consider going diving in sharkinfested waters  anything to avoid this painful movie  the final line in the film  spoken by the bratty sylvester  is if they think im doing the sequel for less than 20 mill  theyre nuts  sequel  please have mercy  
neg	 houston  we have a serious problem   after making  mission  impossible   brian de palma has a lot to live up to  by making an epic science fiction and inviting great cast and talented crew  he hopes to reach the modern audience  and the possibilities are certainly there  but the result is a great disaster  starting in a near future  with a prologue copied from  apollo 13   de palma slowly builds up his  story   the human race has already set foot on mars  a research expedition has vanished without trace on the red planet and another one has been sent to find out what happened  this is basically the whole plot  so its hard to imagine that it can be stretched to 2 hours  but de palma manages to do that  it is not a very good achievement  as we follow this expedition to mars and watch them slowly float in space  the hardest thing to do is stay awake  the films major problem is that it tries to seem more clever than it is  david mamets dialogue  while trying to seem natural  is distant and simply fake  de palma and mamet wanted to combine action with a thought provoking plot  the result is more like an unsuccessful mutation of kubricks  2001  a space odyssey    apollo 13  and  godzilla   to make time pass  the creators have inserted several  refreshing  scientific details  that would not convince a halfcrazed frog  it consists of multiple copies and direct rippoffs from several great science fiction films and stories  when it finally presents an almost original idea  it falls flat because of its uncovered stupidity  i cant even call this film predictable  since no one with a healthy imagination can come up with something like this  sometimes it gets so cheesy  that youll start laughing when youre supposed to cry and cry when youre supposed to laugh  youll see enormous sandstorms  hear mysterious sounds and  last but not least  on this  constantly surprising  tour youll see  an alien  its really hard to find comparisons to such an experience  and i know that ive never said that before  i thought i never would   but  lost in space  is actually better  thats an achievement in itself  director brian de palma has stroke gold with  untouchables  that became an instant american classic  it is for this film that he will be remembered  while all his other failures will be forgotten  hell live to fight another day  i send the actors my condolences  since they truly do try to transform into their undeveloped and dull characters  and both the cinematography  production design and art direction are very decent  it is because of the achievement of 254 people  that i rate this film 210  unfortunately their hard work was in vain  if you have problems with insomnia  i recommend you this film  if youre not asleep within the first half hour  consult your doctor  
neg	gun wielding arnold schwarzenegger has a change of heart by the films end and becomes a believer in god instead of a skeptic  going through an amazing transformation by having a christian epiphany in the final scene as he becomes someone who can now beat the devil by his faith alone    this is after two hours of throwing people out windows and shooting more people than your average serial killer  nobody can save this bomb from its own stupidity and arrogance in filmmaking and arrogance in believing that this is a positive religioustype of film  its just a pile of dreck    an illconceived exploitive project  a pyrotechnical film   end of days  aims to be an apocalyptic thriller  it features an idiotic script  a hack director  and a onedimensional star who is past his prime    which makes this film dumber than dumb  plus its not funny  not campy  or is it in the least bit entertaining  its just dreary and unwatchable    a bigbudget slasher film  arnold plays an alcoholic security guard who finds his new mission in life is to stop satan  occupying gabriel byrnes body and possessing a wall st  bank account  from destroying the world  the film opens in vatican city  roma 1979  where the pope is alerted by a young visionary priest tomaso  looking out at the night sky and seeing a comet whiz by  who proclaims after looking at his scrolls  thats the sign for the eye of god   which reveals that a child has been born who is being prepared to give birth to satans baby  the antichrist  in the hour before the new century begins  when satan will fuck her and open up the gates to hell on earth  tomaso has some twenty years to find this woman and save her and the world from doom  but some in the popes circle want to kill her if found  even though the pope insists on having faith and letting her live  as he lectures them   even in the worlds darkest days  doing evil doesnt stop evil  but brings on more evil   we saw the girl being born in nyc in 1979  which seems to be the logical place to look for satan according to the astrology charts of the visionaries  the chosen woman is christine york  robin   it is now a few days before the new year celebration for 2000 and arnold and his wisecracking security guard partner kevin pollack are hired to guard a wall street turd  and when he is fired upon by a renograde priest  thomas aquinas  arnold saves him and through a ridiculous chase captures the tongue less priest who fired the shot  he  nevertheless  can speak and tells arnold an end of days is coming as prophesized in revelations  but satan gets to him in his hospital room and nails him to the ceiling while scribbling latin warnings of the end of the world on his body  it is now up to arnold to save the world and find the chosen woman  he quickly finds christine and does everything to protect her from all the evil forces around her  as the film includes ludicrous helicopter rescues  people jumping out of windows  satan taking a piss and dropping a match to kill arnolds partner as the piss explodes like gasoline  satan being fired at    resulting in his sometimes experiencing pain and sometimes nothing  as if the director forgot which way he wants to have it  there is nothing spared in nyc from fire bombs  including the subway  churches  and luxury buildings  the only trouble with all these highbudget action sequences  was that it lacked purpose and even entertainment value  the story was so terrible and inaccurate  that it did not have an iota of value or credibility  mercifully the movie drags to a final confrontation in times square  trying unsuccessfully to build tension to the countdown toward the year 2000  why is the end of 1999 considered to be the devils number  666   well     satans numeral is actually  999   which is upside down of  666   accordingly  you just put a  1 in front of it and bingo  you get  1999   with logic like that  this film might even think it pulled the wool over the viewers eyes and got away with such a febrile explanation of the occult  this film should become a classic used by film schools in how not to make a horror film  i highly recommend seeing it for that purpose  
neg	after enduring mariah careys film debut  glitter  im reminded of a bit from chris rocks bigger and blacker  in response to women saying that they can raise a child without a man  rock says   you can drive a car with your feet  but that dont mean it should be done   to that i say  you can give mariah carey a movie  but that certainly dont mean it should be done  sure  there are plenty of pop star film vehicles out there  from the beatles a hard days night to the spice girls spice world  but none have been so vapidly pointless or laughable as glitter  everything about this complete tripe is ludicrous  start off with the story  which  as gruesomely predictable as it is  is the least offensive part of the movie  the film is inexplicably set in the 80s  a period piece that really shows no sign of its period except for a few chicks in leg warmers  worse yet  everyones speaking late 90s hiphop slang in what should be 1983  meant to be partially autobiographical  carey plays billie frank  a young singer in new york who struggles to overcome a rough childhood and abandonment by her alcoholic mother  influential club dj julian dice  a  k  a   lucky 7   max beesley playing a bad mix of puff daddy and robert de niro   hears her sing on a track  and decides to make her a star  in predictably rapid succession  billie and dice fall for each other  she starts hitting it big  dice gets jealous and starts acting like an ass  and suddenly billies on  the roller coaster of superstardom   in the meantime  billie is on an emotional hunt for her missing mom  i wont give away the ending  but  honestly  just think of unicorns and rainbows    youll figure it out  the movie screams to be made with camp  and that couldve been fun  but the filmmakers thought making the bulk of glitter weepy and dramatic would be better  what a mistake  the brief attempts at comic relief  as in a scene where an effeminate russiansounding director gets wacky with filming billies first music video  go over like lead balloons  instead  the audience at my screening tended to laugh loudest during mariahs most dramatic scenes  which brings us to the performances  of which theres nothing good that can be said  mariah is primarily seen with a wideeyed deerintheheadlights look frozen on her face  she actually looks scared during her one love scene  but you have to wonder if the writing isnt even worse  so much of the dialogue is so hackneyed and watered down for careys virginal target audience that its probably impossible for any actor to pull it off with aplomb  even the characters couldnt have been written more absurdly  theyre all members of a barbie playset  the important film director who swoons   billie  id love to put you in a movie im making   and the bigtime record executive who takes billies demo tape and says   oh  ill make sure the whole team listens to it in the morning   everyone in the film is a device  and its painful to keep watching just to see another one appear  to say more would be a waste  theres so much wrong with this film  and  it pains me that mariah carey  with her ego and sanity in such fragile condition these days  as evidenced by her multiple hospital stays  will have to suffer through all the negative reviews shes likely to get  but  then again  i had to suffer through her movie  
neg	poster boy for codependency needs patching patch adams a film review by michael redman copyright 1999 by michael redman mediocrity is a pox on civilization  in our heavily consumer oriented society  there is an enormous demand to churn out  stuff   what would happen to our economy if we didnt feel the need to have more things  to make us buy more  businesses need to produce a ton of product  the sheer volume of items necessitates that most of them are of dubious quality  the film industry is like any other  in order for studios to survive  they have to make money  the prevailing attitude is that more films equal more profit  some movies obviously exist only to put wares on the screen and to do that  less talented people are used  there arent enough great directors and actors to create the number of films necessary  for some reason  its never crossed anyones mind that the real equation is quality films  more profit  often  mediocre films are more of a pain for the audience than the horrendous ones  at you can have a good time making fun of bad movies  im not suggesting that  patch adams  was tossed out just to rake in the bucks  my guess is that someone was asleep at the wheel  it features an accomplished actor and a potentially engrossing story  but its as dull as could be  hunter  patch  adams  robin williams  desire to become a doctor has an unusual genesis  checking himself into a mental institute after a suicide attempt  he discovers that he can help the other patients by clowning around  patch could be a poster boy for codependency  he explains that he likes devoting himself to others because then he doesnt focus on his own problems  he decides that he wants to be a physician  leaves the place and a couple of years later enrolls in the medical college of virginia  as a med student  patchs antics at the schools hospital catch the attention of his soon to be archenemy  straightlaced dean walcott  bob gunton   the dean is so opposed to the goofiness that he wants patch kicked out of school although hes one of the top students  he writes in patchs academic file that he shows  excessive happiness   i walked into the film knowing little about its history and wondered about its odd mechanical pacing  there also seemed to be no reason that it is set in the early seventies  then it struck me  it must be based on a true story  the movie is an adaptation of a book by hunter adams who founded the gesundheit institute  a free clinic  robin williams is an amazing actor  while he is adept at dramatic roles  his forte is overthetop free spirits  thats what makes his failure here so remarkable  patch is exactly the character he should be best at  yet even the scene where he and another mental patient are battling fierce imaginary squirrels falls flat  something holds him back  most of the rest of the cast is twodimensional  for a film that champions seeing patients as human beings  its curious that the ones here are cardboard characters  peter coyote as a man dying of cancer is refreshing because he seems like a real person  unfortunately hes in the film for only about two minutes  the audience is blatantly lead by a ring in its nose from scene to scene  were not left to our own emotional decisions  were hit over the head with them  shavedheaded children with cancer  an elderly woman whom patch makes laugh  a beautiful woman who cant love because of her abusive history  when a group of students fix up an old house to use as a clinic in the andy hardy  hey  lets put on a play  we can use the barn and my mom can make the curtains   mode  they laugh and roll around while painting each other  there might as well be giant signs flashing   feel good now    feel bad now    patch  is a good title for the film  it is a patchwork of every manipulative scene you can think of  the fulloflife student fights stodgy establishment types  theres a touching death  then theres another  the film doesnt trust us to get it the first time  the dean tries to kick patch out and later he tries again  worst of all is the final courtroom bit  scarylooking old men sit in judgment of a man who only wants to help people  the room is packed with patchs supporters  williams makes a supposedly impassioned speech about the humanity of all  it has as much emotion as his earlier statement  humans are the only animal that kills members of its own species  contains truth  most of the blame must be placed with the director tom shadyac and screenwriter steve oedekerk  shadyac also directed the first  ace ventura  movie  oedekerk directed the second one  need i say more  the real adams is to be admired for his devotion to treating patients as people rather than diseases  the film has a number of worthy messages about the state of the modern medical business with hmos and managed care  the  doctors are not gods  theme will resonate with a number of people  but its so poorly produced that no one will care  
neg	young einstein is embarrassingly lame  but that didnt stop it from becoming a phenomenon in australia  where it became the third largest box office hit of all time  in the u  s   warner brothers is hoping the movie will follow in the footsteps of paul hogan  inxs  and shrimp on the barby to become the latest rage from down under  personally  im hoping americans everywhere will rise to the occasion and make young einstein a box office bomb  young einstein sprang from the twisted mind of yahoo serious  who not only wrote  produced  edited  and directed the film  but also starred and did his own stunts  his creation is about as stupid and contrived as youd expect from someone named yahoo  the movie takes substantial historical liberties in recreating einsteins youth  whereas the scientist actually hailed from germany  the film finds him still living with his parents on tasmania  a remote australian island  in addition to deriving the formula for energy and the theory of relativity  albert invents surfing  bubbles in beer  and the electric guitar  yahoo plays einstein as a naive and unrefined country hicka clown with an insatiable curiosity  although yahoos performance is at first endearing  the onedimensional characterization loses its novelty faster than you can say emc2  yahoo has created a charming family for albert  and the scenes on tasmania are often clever  but after the first twenty minutes  the movie quickly plummets and degenerates into a poor excuse for a comedy  young einstein is hampered by its lethargic pace and inane plot  yahoo must be an mtv addict because his movie features an omnipresent soundtrack  unfortunately  the music is altogether gratuitous and quickly becomes overbearing  almost every other scene includes a blaring rock song that leaves you wondering whether you are watching a movie or a music video  the instrumental score  on the other hand  is generally playful  yahoo uses such classics as the  1812 overture  and the theme from the good  the bad and the ugly to great comic effect  halfway through young einstein  i knew for sure the movie was a stinker  but it wasnt until the very end that i finally put my finger on why  the comedy takes its roots not from whimsical film fantasies  such as young sherlock holmes  but from cheesy primetime sitcoms  in fact  young einstein might have been more at home on network television  where its sophomoric humor wouldnt raise any eyebrows  
neg	this is the last carry on film with its almost intact regular cast and it is the swansong of hattie jacques and sid james  dick turpin  sid james  and his gang which includes harriettharry  barbara windsor  and tom  doc  scholl  peter butterworth   terrorise the countryside by staging highway robberies   stand and deliver   owing to the increased occurrence of turpins robberies  captain desmond fancey of the bow street runners  kenneth williams  and his sidekick sergeant jock strapp  jack douglas  visit turpins area of influence to bring him to justice  they are under the express orders of sir roger daley  bernard bresslaw   their intellect does not count for much and when they increasingly become suspicious of reverend flasher aka dick turpin  sid james   whom they confided in earlier  they still cannot believe that the rector has any part in these robberies  however  once they catch harriett and put her in jail  and sir roger daley takes complete charge  it seems that there is no hope for dick turpin  then again  sir roger has assigned the dimwits fancey and jock strapp aswell as the old dithering constable  kenneth connor  to keep an eye on their prisoner  there is no doubt that this is a sid james carry on movie  he excels in double roles  as in carry on dont lose your head  and his performance as flasher and turpin is hilarious  barbara windsor is also funny as harriett the sex mad housemaid and member of the gang  and hattie jacques small but effective role as the rectors housekeeper martha hoggett is played to perfection  jack douglas plays a milder version of his excruciatingly annoying onscreen persona and kenneth williams is given a rather mundane part  peter butterworth is not allowed to shine in his boring performance as tom  and bernard bresslaws character appears only briefly in the film  the only notable performance from the support cast comes from joan sims as madame desiree  who is travelling around the country escorting her starlets the birds of paradise and sporting a fake french accent  when her girls and her are robbed by turpin  she is determined to catch him and helps the reverend to find the culprit  a carry on by the numbers  this movie is only notable for the great performance by sid james in his last carry on movie  the jokes are bluer  the script is poorer  it is the last script written by talbot rothwell   but the music is a marked improvement  although nearly all the regulars appear  they seem to be just going through the motions  none of the high spirits of the earlier films are apparent here  just a selection of crude jokes and repititive doubleentendres  
neg	one of the first films of 1999 is this mtv pictures release which marks the first leading feature role for james van der beek  the star of the wbs runaway hit dawsons creek  following in the foot steps of mtvs two other live action films  joes apartment  1996  and dead man on campus  1998   varsity blues is a bad film and is unlikely to cause much of a sensation in the marketplace  set in west cannan  texas  the film examines the small town obsession with high school football through the eyes of second string quarterback john  mox  moxon  van der beek   we know hes smart because he reads kurt vonnegut instead of the playbook  coach bud kilmer  jon voight  has been around so long there is actually a bronze statue commemorating him  the star quarterback  lance harbor  paul walker   is a handsome  blonde  hero who has his own billboard in his front yard and dates the sexy head cheerleader  darcy  ali larter   also on the team are an enormous guy  ron lester  with some health problems and the token africanamerican team member  eliel swinton  whose only real dialogue scene deals directly with the color of his skin  when lance is seriously injured  mox gets his chance to shine and he runs with it  undermining kilmer with his unusual playing strategies  his relationship with his dutiful girlfriend  jules  amy smart   is threatened and theres a big game at the end  guess who wins  nothing about varsity blues is inspired and the whole film simply moves through the sort of conventional motions that coach kilmer would love  theres a chance for some smart satire on small town obsessions but the humor here is decidedly lowbrow  van der beek does a decent job of carrying his first film although a silly accent trips him up sometimes  also  the role isnt very much of a stretch from his dawson leary character  hes still a pseudointellectual  whiny  nice guy  except here he also happens to be a jock  voight is a terror as he chews up every single piece of scenery and spits it out  the other adults are all notably awful while the younger performers dont fare much better  on the positive side  walker is a charismatic actor who is due for a breakout role following this and his supporting turn in pleasantville  1998   scott  son of james  caan has some lively moments as tweeder  the teams wild man  larter  as a gorgeous seductress looking for a one way ticket out of texas  gets to show off the films most interesting costumes  including a very eyeopening  whipped cream bikini   its interesting to note that the film definitely earns its rrating with a lot of harsh language  alcohol abuse and an unusually high amount of nudity  including a gratuitous trip to a strip bar that reveals a not very surprising surprise   all this is likely to come as a shock to the young female fan base of dawsons creek  presumably the target audience for the picture  director brian robbins previously helmed the kids feature good burger  from nickelodeon films  a sister company of mtv  and changes directions here a bit but still fails to make much of an impression  the look of the movie is as bland as the town and characters who populate it  the football scenes are generally unexciting and the entire film looks a bit washed out  theres an ok soundtrack featuring music from collective soul  foo fighters  green day and aaliyah but its not as impressive as one would expect from a mtv film  
neg	susan grangers review of  americas sweethearts   columbiasony  what a waste of a talented cast  billy crystal and cowriter peter tolan have concocted a sly  provocative premise and  as the opening credits roll  its obvious that theyre attempting an oldfashioned romantic comedy  the story involves a veteran publicist  billy crystal  who is summoned to orchestrate a press junket in las vegas when an arrogant director  christopher walken  holds a megabuck movie hostage in his editing room  refusing to show it to anyone  he figures that by giving the journalists juicy hints of a possible reconciliation between the films oncemarriedbutnowestranged stars  gwen and eddie  catherine zetajones  john cusack   theyll be so distracted that they wont remember they didnt see the movie or it wasnt what they expected   and crystal thought of this long before a sony exec concocted the phony criticdavid manning quote scandal   for help  he turns to gwens personal assistantsister  julia roberts   but the laughs are few and farbetween  crystals glib  cynical flack isnt wickedly funny enough with a few amusing oneliners  after six months under the care of a depak chopralike guru  alan arkin   cusacks characters too emotionally fragile  lacking the necessary charisma  zetajoness vain  narcissistic diva is undeveloped and onedimensional  only hank azaria  as zetajoness muchmacho spanish lover  and stanley tucci  as a studio exec  and roberts manage to whip up any farcical froth  basically  we dont like these egodriven  stereotypical characters  let alone root for them to unwind their romantic entanglements  and joe roths direction is predictable  formulaic and telegraphic  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   americas sweethearts  is a contrived  shallow 4  as a screwball satire  its strictly superficial  
neg	susan grangers review of  jeepers creepers   mgmua entertainment  this nasty  little horror film begins as a bickering brother  justin long  and sister  gina philips  are driving through the desolate countryside on their way home from college and spy a man dropping wrappedup bodies down a drainage pipe  when long decides to investigate  theres nothing but trouble   you know the part in scary movies where somebody does something really stupid and everybody hates them for it   well  this is it   philips warns  what he finds in the basement of an old  abandoned church is a dying boy with a horrifying  jaggedstitched incision from his neck to his navel  plus hundreds of other mutilated bodies  stitched together on the walls and ceiling like a disgusting tapestry  long flees but now the monstrous  winged creeper  jonathan breck  is after both of them  eileen brennan appears briefly as the cat lady and patricia belcher is jezelle  a psychic who explains the evil creatures bizarre feeding habits  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   jeepers creepers  is a fiendishly visceral 2 with an extraordinarily gruesome conclusion  giving new meaning to the old song  jeepers creepers   and now  as paul harvey would say  for the rest of the story  whats more scary than the cruelty of the satanic film itself is the fact that writerdirector victor salva is a convicted child molester who videotaped himself having oral sex with a 12 yearold actor in california  sentenced to three years in prison  he served 15 months and completed parole in 1992  when salva made  powder   1995   the story of an albino boy with supernatural abilities  disney studio executives claimed that they did not know about his prior conviction as a pedophile  and now  once again  in this mgmua film  that fact is conspicuously absent from his press kit bio  
neg	this independent film written and directed by eric bross has the look and feel of all those other troubled bluecollar youth films that have inundated the market in recent times  it is hard to tell what is independent about this film  it might as well have been made in hollywood or on a home videocam  it is the debut film for the director  who tells his personal story about italians growing up with heavy new jersey accents and remaining tight with each other as they grow into young adults  a tale which could have been rewarding to see in the 1950s  where the mindset of all the characters depicted is grounded  but to see it in the 1990s is a different story  it is old news  the love story between the simple girl waiting to get married and her luckless boyfriend turning nasty on her doesnt mean much  since their relationship remained undeveloped  the introduction of the wiseguy angle and the loyality among buddies bit  are not moving enough emotional experiences or intelligent enough dramatics to elevate this film above its limited story line despite the tourdeforce performance by the star of the film  adrien brody as ray  ray is the only son of a lowlevel mobster once arrested for running an illegal casino operation out of his bloomfield  new jersey  suburban basement  ray sr   vincent  is now trying to make a go of it by running a small scale homerepair business  his son lives with him and works unhappily as a shoe salesman  dreaming of getting rich quickly so he can open a business and marry his longtime waitress girlfriend joanne  sybil   the title of this film refers to the shoe size of paul newman10b  which really has nothing to do with explaining anything about the film  you should be aware that there are a lot of things about this film that dont make sense  its constant brainless chatter between the buddies  their uneventful growing pains  and the despair of their lives  make it very difficult to feel any empathy for them  desperate to make his dream come through  ray goes to a loanshark  humorously and menacingly played by james e  moriarty  and borrows 10 grand to bet on a  sure thing  at freehold raceway  the horse loses and now ray has big problems  as the loanshark comes after him with his muscle to get his dough  there is nothing i have seen so far to like about ray  he is undependable  meanspirited  and stupid  so when his best friend mike  gallagher   the narrator of the film  gets a chance to sleep with his girlfriendwho cares  the director must be kidding himself if he thinks we do  as for rays gambling debt and his dilemma of how to pay it off  the story is too predictable for anything other than what you would expect to happen  his buddies  the college student mike and the dependable butchie  gillan   and his old man  who he has this lovehate relationship with  rally to his aid  and the film ends on an obligatory artistic note of ambiguity  that seems to be the way it is for all those wannabe artistic films  as ray is off to florida all by his lonesome self to try to put his life together  there was just no energy or spark or anything relevant in this superficial film to keep it interesting  though adrien brody showed signs that he could be a future star  because of his intensity and looks  he reminds me of sean penn  
neg	come on hollywood  surprise me  stop giving us these poorly written thrillers with banal dialogue  sketchy characters and plots as predictable as the sunset  the always watchable morgan freeman plays a detective who becomes personally involved in a case involving missing girls  personal  because his niece is one of the victims  its a slobbering psychopath  of course  but this time theres a twist  freeman notes that each of the young women whove disappeared are all strong willed  assertive  and more successful in their careers than the average girl  we soon learn that the guy calls himself casanova  whose aim is to  dominate  these modern gals by imprisoning them in some dungeon and keeping them as his personal harem  anyway  one of the women manages to escape  ashly judd  and teams up with freeman to    well  you know the rest  a brief glance at the plot to silence of the lambs  with which this film is constantly being compared to by the hype merchants  may suggest lambs also has a fairly predictable story  perhaps  but that film also has superbly drawn characters and smart dialogue  so lets not insult a great movie by taking the comparisons any further  okay  and as for comparisons to seven    oh please  kiss the girls is based on the novel by james patterson and written for the screen by one david klass  maybe the novel was a stinker to start with  but whatever the case  its the writing thats clearly at fault here  one  these characters have very little to say thats engaging or interesting  two  the script has no sense of humour  three  while the notion of a psychos victims being smart  successful women is an interesting twist  the execution isnt even half as good as the idea  thus  ashly judd comes across all out of focus  instead of being the heart of the story  we cant feel her rage  some atrociously written casual exchanges between her and several male characters are supposed to remind us that shes the nobullshit 90s type  but these conversations barely register  and as for freeman  kiss the girls is his second dog in a year  first chain reaction  now this  for an actor of his calibre  this is most worrying  young director gary fleder scored a hit a few years back with his quirky pulp fictionesque things to do in denver when your dead  but what can he do with material as resolutely mediocre as this  not much  and you can hardly blame him  theres a few wellstaged chase scenes through the forest where the camera whirls  dives and jumps  and the effect is startling  but the script is beyond rescue  what hurts most is that hollywood continues to get away with serving up this tripe  safe in the knowledge that jaded audiences will lap it up  complacency rules  its been so long since we saw a mainstream american thriller that delivered juicy characters  real surprises and consistently sharp dialogue  the only consolation for this viewer is that my ticket to the movie was a freebie  positive proof that the best things in life arent free      
neg	capsule  the much anticipated readaptation of the pierre boulle novel comes to the screen as a dark and a little dreary film with lots of chases and fighting  but very little intelligence  visually there is much to like about this version  but the approach is to take an adventure after the style of gullivers travels and treat it as an action film  that makes it a film without much center   0  4 to 4  pierre boulle  author of the bridge on the river kwai  wrote planet of the apes  a  k  a  monkey planet   the novel  as a social satire  it reads a lot like a fifth book of gullivers travels  humans discover a planet in which the roles of apes and humans have been reversed  not unlike the roles of horses and humans on jonathan swifts island of the houyhnhnms  the novel moves somewhat slowly to create some suspense in revealing all the things most film fans know to be true about the nature of the planet  it seems to me there is also a statement about human cruelty to animals  but perhaps i was just looking for that  when rod serling adapted the novel into a film released in 1968  he added a number of serling touches  familiar from episodes of the twilight zone and changed the ending to make it more serlingish  the final irony of the original version has become film history  without it there could never have been a  planet of the apes  film series  i can surmise only that serling ran into serious script problems in how to handle the tricky question of language  in the book the apes had their own language and the human eventually learned that language  that could have been done in the film  but that would have required the entire film to be subtitled for the nonapespeaking  serling avoided this by having the apes speak english and  of course  there is some justification for that by the end of the film  justifying why the apes spoke english may have even been the inspiration for his surprise ending  but serling never tackles the allimportant question of why a supposedly intelligent human never shows any curiosity or even surprise that the apes speak his own language  a language they had no opportunity to ever hear  few viewers questioned this serious plot hole  however  and the film has become well respected in cinema history  partial credit at least should go to jerry goldsmith whose extremely inventive score is one of goldsmiths best if not his best  when the films success called for sequels  the filmmakers turned up the violence and they added wellintentioned  though not very subtle  political messages about what was happening in the united states of the 1960s and 1970s  while the first film had a little shooting of guns and what was there seemed a little half hearted  by the second film  beneath the planet of the apes  there was a good deal more violence and from that point on the series had a lot of violence and chases  the series concluded with battle for the planet of the apes in 1973  now director tim burton tries his hand at adapting the original book again  for those who thought that the 1968 version was not very faithful to the book  burtons new version is even less faithful  first  he does not really reverse the roles of the humans and the apes  he has them both be intelligent  articulate races battling for a dominance of the planet currently in the hands  uh  make that paws  of the apes  that could be a good story too  but it is not planet of the apes  as with the mission impossible films and so many other cinematic homages to the third quarter of the last century  the title makes promises that the filmmakers have no intention of honoring  in 2029 leo davidson  mark wahlberg  not this worlds most expressive actor  works on a space station increasing the intelligence and usefulness of apes  then a convenient time storm sweeps him up wizardofozfashion and drops him on an alien planet   yes  he survives this storm  but then no storm is perfect   he quickly finds  not greatly to any surprise he shows  that on this planet apes rule and humans drool  but everybody talks  and the language they talk is earth english  apparently it does not even occur to leo that there is a mystery that needs to be explained about that  the fact it does not occur to leo and apparently didnt occur to tim burton either is the heart of the real horror of this film  both just assumed that if apes were going to talk the language they would speak would be english  in any case having one talking race dominating another makes this not a look at humananimal relationships and more one of the masterslave relationships  outside of sudan and a few other countries this is a less relevant topic  leo is captured to be used as a slave but also is discovered by ari  played by helena bonham carter  ari is an attractive ape with close ties to high political power  she is bent on making the world a better place  perhaps in a previous draft of the script she was called hilari  in any case with makeup that stifles her usual pout  carter is just about as attractive as she has ever been in a film  she may want to consider this to become her standard look from this point forward  it is not long before leo escapes with some human and only a couple of sympathetic apes  this is a further abandonment of the source material  the chase severely limits the interplay of ape and human and the examination of eachs place in this reversed society  each important in the book  we cannot see how the society works because most of the screentime society has broken down  we see the humans either separated from the apes or fighting them  burton chooses visceral thrills over cerebral ones at almost every turn  this is a miscalculation  as characters so lacking in empathy value are difficult ones to place much emotional investment in  they are basically chess pieces and the viewer has little reason to root for them to win  the 1968 script had little subtlety  with lines like  i never met an ape i didnt like   but at least we cared for what happened to taylor  the main character  most of what this film has to offer is in the visuals  the visual work is spotty but generally nicely done except that so much of the film takes place in the night or in fog  this tends to limit close looks at the makeup  in general it seems much improved from 1968  the makeup team is led by rick baker instead of john chambers  who did it for the 1968 version  in 1968 chambers makeup was a jawdropper  it was realistic enough to almost be believable but flexible enough to show emotion  chambers is good  but if anyone had a chance to best him it would have to be baker  today audiences have higher expectations  bakers visualization is really an improvement  these visuals work nicely  what does not work is the wire assisted leaps some of the apes make  they look like they were inspired by the physics defying leaps of crouching tiger  hidden dragon  apes spring incredible distances  some of the best scenes are apes running into battle looking like they have ape posture  but when they start flying through the air the effect is lost  one final visual problem is that the film frequently shows its budget in what should be spectacular battle scenes the camera shows us only a small group of people closeup  since the days of lon chaney and boris karloff few actors have crossed over to stardom in a role that required heavy makeup  the one actor who has a shot is paul giamatti  it is not that his lines are so good  most are silly jokes  but he delivers them very well  he was always a watchable actor  but has not yet made stardom  as the apetrader limbo he overemotes to overcome his ape makeup  but does it very well  in doing so he makes himself the most interesting thing on the screen  he is probably the best thing in the film and conjures up memories of peter ustinovs performance in spartacus  as an injoke there are several lines in the script borrowed from the 1968 film and an old ape played by charleton heston becomes an allusion to the first film by itself  danny elfmans score has a nice primitive feel  but jerry goldsmiths 1968 tour de force score is a real classic  that score and the whole film will be remembered when the 2001 film is forgotten  i rate the remake 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	i wish i could accurately describe the theme music for part 3  the best way i can put it is that its funky  i know this is an odd question  but remember the opening music of  police academy 4  citizens on patrol   when steve guttenberg and michael winslow perform the title song  citizens on patrol  during the opening credits  its just like that  anyway  part 3 takes place a day after the events of part 2  so technically still 1985   this time  a group of horny teens  who also bring along two aging hippie potheads for some reason  head up to a cabin on crystal lake for a weekend of sex and weed  it turns out that one of the teens had been attacked by jason earlier in her life  which must have been between parts 1 and 2  so why she has returned to crystal lake one day after a new batch of murders is beyond me  shes the lone survivor this time  part 3 was originally shown in theaters in 3d  and from what i can tell from the video  it looks as though they may have been fairly decent effects  jason had long  wild hair when he was unmasked in part 2  now  one day later hes completely bald  also  it being one day later  it cant be friday the 13th now can it  oh well  steve miner is the only director who helmed more than one film in the series  r 
neg	jessica lange is one of the most inconsistent actresses working today  from timetotime  she blows away audiences with powerful  intense performances  on the other hand  this is the same woman who made her jawdroppingly awful feature debut in dino delaurentiis king kong  and  much as lange would probably prefer moviegoers to develop amnesia regarding that particular entry on her resume  every once in a while she does work that is reminiscent of it  if only in quality  hush is one such example  lange is so bad here that she might have been fun to watch if the rest of the film wasnt such a prime example of motion picture tedium  the film opens  as many socalled  psychological thrillers  do  by posing as a light drama  we are introduced to jackson  johnathon schaech  last encounter in tom hanks that thing you do   and helen  gwyneth paltrow   a picture perfect young couple who are very much in love  jackson is taking helen home for the holidays so she can meet his mother  martha  lange   the moment i first saw martha  i started looking for fangs  soon  the wicked witch of the east is plotting a way for her son to get helen pregnant  this involves poking a hole in a diaphragm   once that goal is accomplished  she manipulates events so that the expecting couple moves out of new york city to the horse farm where she lives  as long as she gets her way  martha is a perfectly amicable person  but when helen defies her  its a declaration of war  hush has three very simple problems  its incredibly dumb  its incredibly boring  and its incredibly predictable  at least up to the stupefying ending   this film has absolutely nothing to recommend it  with the exception of a couple of nice shots of snowcovered fields and a quick glimpse of gwyneth paltrows bare buttocks  frankly  its embarrassing to watch a respected actress of langes stature give a performance like this  its like a bad blanche dubois  the role she played in a 1995 tv version of a streetcar named desire   meanwhile  paltrow does her best to get through her dialogue without gaping at the stupidity of some of her lines  and schaech attempts a passable imitation of an inanimate object  as in all psychological thrillers  the battle lines are clearly drawn  here  its mom and against wife  with jackson caught in the middle  of course  since schaechs character is poorlydeveloped and badly acted  its impossible to say how he feels about being in that situation  maybe someone should ask him if hes familiar with oedipus  martha is  of course  the evil one  how do we know shes evil  she smokes cigarettes and drinks hard liquor  two sure signs that the devil is at work  on the other hand  helen is a good girl  the evidence for this is that shes nice to old ladies and treasures a locket with a picture of her dead parents  thats about it for character development  beyond that point  hush is just a series of increasingly hardtoswallow coincidences  contrivances  and moronic plot twists  however  the first 85 minutes are just a warmup for the ending  which is as anticlimactic as it is profoundly dissatisfying  i cant imagine anyone  no matter what they thought of the movie as a whole  liking this conclusion  either there was some serious lastminute editing or someone left out a few pages of the script  before the climax  i disliked hush  by the time the end credits started  i hated it  viewers invest something in every movie they watch  no matter how good or bad it is  cheating them like this is offensive and unpardonable  most entries into this wornout  wormeaten genre arent especially good  films like consenting adults  the hand that rocks the cradle  and single white female rely on stock plots and predictable twists to propel the narrative along  in general  however  theyre directed with a degree of competence that assures a level of sustained tension  thats not the case with really bad thrillers like this  which fail to generate even a momentary heart palpitation  the characters are too bland and the plot is too uninvolving for anyone in the audience to care  indeed  the title of this movie probably refers to what the producers hope viewers will do in lieu of telling their friends what they really think of this sorry piece of celluloid  
neg	synopsis  sonny koufax  adam sandler  is a rich  childish  angry man who has just been dumped by his girlfriend vanessa  kristy swanson   in a bid to impress vanessa sonny impersonates his friend kevin  jon stewart  and adopts a 5 year old boy named julian  cole and dylan sprouse  while kevin is on an overseas trip  under sonnys supervision julian soon learns to lie to women  tell people how he  wipes his ass   throw tantrums  and scream for his  god damned  treats  self centered  julian breaks a school classmates arm without apologizing or even realizing he has done anything wrong  meanwhile sonny bribes julian with sugary talk  food  toys  and flashy promises in order to get the kid to perform  not surprisingly the government takes julian away from sonnys incompetent supervision  and this leads to a custody battle  opinion  its a movie about an embittered creep teaching a little kid to be a jerk  and we all get cheap laughs because for 90 minutes the innocent kindergartner never finds out what it means when he mimics all the bad boy behavior  thats the essence of big daddy  but theres a bigger issue involved  marketing  movies that are rated pg and pg13 are heavily marketed towards children of preteen age and below  on tv  film clips advertise these movies as familyfriendly hit comedies  then when you go see them they turn out to be either raunchy sex acts like austin powers with characters named fat bastard   or big daddy where adult characters get their jollies by buddying up to naive five year olds and encouraging them to experiment with drugs and mistreatment  folks in hollywood are trying to develop a preteen market for raunchy stuff  but i think most american parents would agree that early childhood is a time of mental innocence that should be protected from uncaring media market exploitation  to many american mothers theres probably nothing more pathetic and unsettling than the sight of a theater full of unsupervised little eight year olds laughing raucously as movie character father adam sandler jokes about a womans  ice cold tits   
neg	certainly no one would rent ed woods glen or glenda  expecting to see a good movie  but this screwy discourse about transvestitism betrays a level of incompetence that i didnt know was possible  in fact  woods infamous plan 9 from outer space actually seems pretty tame by comparison  watching glen or glenda  i found myself occasionally wondering if wood had originally made two or three separate movies and accidentally edited them together  as a result  it is actually quite entertaining in that it is unintentionally hilarious  the movie starts out as what mostly seems like a bad documentary  with endless  repetitive narration about transvestites  how difficult it is for a transvestite to look at his girlfriends clothes without being able to wear them  how transvestites are not necessarily homosexuals  and how the main character  glenglenda is  as it reminds us probably half a dozen times   not half man and half woman  but man and woman at the same time   the camera work is terribleoccasionally the camera lingers on  say  a closed door while the characters talk offscreen  or inexplicably zooms in on someones ear or nose  wood also makes copious use of mostly irrelevant stock footage  which leads to voicedover nonsequiturs like   yes  our world is a busy and frightening place  with so many people driving their automobiles   finally  there is occasional commentary from bela lugosi as a sort of omniscient being who seems to inhabit a frankensteinstyle laboratory  delivering pointless lines such as   people    all with their own thoughts    their own ideas      while lightning crackles quasiominously overhead  had wood continued in this vein  glen or glenda  probably would have been remembered as nothing more than a poorly done documentary with the occasional inappropriate horrormovie touch  unfortunately  he then wanders so far off into left field that you have to wonder if he had been eating some funny mushrooms when he wrote the script   pull the string  pull the string   announces an alarmed lugosi as stock footage of buffalo appears  there is another crash of lightning before lugosi returns  this time warning us   beware    beware the big green dragon that lurks outside your door     it eats little boys    and puppy dogs tails    and big fat snails   a bizarre nightmare sequence  which is probably meant to be symbolic but instead is just incredibly stupid  ensues  during which glenglenda finds his fiance trapped under a fallen treein the living room  someone who is apparently intended to be the sinister  green dragon   but looks more like a klingon from the original star trek series  appears to be orchestrating all this  though the film is far from clear on this point  to put it kindly   near the end of this sceneand here i must confess that wood lost me completelyis a violent sexual encounter on a couch that features two characters who do not even appear in the rest of the movie and is scored by goofily upbeat folk music  after this scene ends  not a moment too soon   glen or glenda  returns to its documentary style  but at that point any lingering sense that wood had the slightest idea what he was doing is pretty much gone  the film wanders to a dumb happy ending that also seems to abandon much of what it was trying to say about transvestitism  but at that point it didnt matter much what happened  as soon as the aforementioned sex scene was over  glen or glenda  had pretty much cemented its place in my mind as the most incoherent film i had ever seen  i honestly think that if i picked up my camcorder and deliberately tried to make the worst movie i possibly could  it still might not match glen or glenda  for sheer cinematic disaster  i am giving this movie an f  but im not sure that quite does it justice  
neg	the second serialkiller thriller of the month is just awful  oh  it starts deceptively okay  with a handful of intriguing characters and some solid location work  after a babysitter gets gutted in the suit ably spooky someonesinthehouse prologue  parallel stories unfold  the first involving a texas sheriff  r  lee emery   a gruesome double murder  and the arrival of a morose fbi agent  dennis quaid  on the eve of voting for the local lawmans reelection  the second pairs a hitch hiker  jared leto  with a friendly former railroad worker  danny glover   theyre headed west  toward the rockies and away from the murder scene  which one is the killer  well  it doesnt really matter  cause when writerfirsttime director jeb stuart  die hard  finally spills the beans  you wont take his choice seriously anyway  the whole thing goes south about an hour in  with the tale taking hairpin turns that i certainly couldnt follow  and through the whole thing theres quaid  playing with the most intense monotony this side of steven sea gal  i guess im glad that i didnt walk out theres some nice train stuff at the end and a fun nod to dr  strangelove  
neg	this is my first review that i post to this newsgroup  and i kind of feel like i have to say something negative about this film  no one else seems to care that it takes certain liberties that should not be taken with a historical story  however  even if one thinks of it as fiction   the prince of egypt  remains shallow  but ill begin from the beginning  the biggest difference between the original  biblical story and this version is that moses has some semblance of divinity in the bible  whereas the animated version gives the impression of a reluctant hero  maybe its just me  but if i knew i had god on my side  id have a little bit more confidence  there are other differences as well  such as a lack of important female characters and the passing over of the original pharoahs death like its nothing but a thing  most of all  though  the storys focus has shifted  rather than being a story about fatherson  manethnicity  mangod   the prince of egypt  is almost solely about the brotherbrother relationship between rameses and moses  i was originally excited about this story element until i saw the movie  where it came off as maudlin  rameses and moses squabble like children and then  in the interests of peace  moses saves rameses butt  even though moses was the one who started it     yawn  i didnt care anymore by the time moses ran off for murdering an overseer  which  of course  never happened in the original story  moses was exiled   but enough about the differences  lets talk about the movie itself  it features a moses who  in the interests of making the character more human  lacks any divinity whatsoever  which isnt convincing at all to anyone who knows who god is  it features a cookiecutter  iwannapleasedada  rameses  who at least is given dignity by the voicework of ralph fiennes  from schindlers list  among other things   the film also features an extremely annoying character by way of the  newimproved  miriam  voiced by the everantsy sandra bullock  even though the most irritating thing about her is her tendency to burst into song for no apparent reason  here bullock is replaced by a singing voice   speaking of which  it contains  very  annoying music  it contains shallow writing  it features extraordinary animation  which is one good thing i can say about this film  most of all  it contains an attempt to commercialize  homogenize  and massmarket a story about a manifestation of god  i am not christian  but i got the impression of blasphemy  the writers and producers took a butcher knife and chopchopped into the story  
neg	for  original sin   the road to the screen has been rocky  initially slated for release last november  the film was bumped twice  finally landing in the dog days of summer 2001  advance screenings of the film were denied to all but a few critics  generally a sign that the studio realizes it has a dud on its hands  so is  original sin  really all that bad  yes it is  but the melodrama does offer some rewards  the location settings are gorgeous and there is a healthy sprinkling of ta  with angelina jolie providing the  t  and antonio banderas the  a    more importantly  the movie is entertainingly bad  veteran readers know that  as a rule  i dont encourage people to patronize lousy films  most of the time  there are plenty of quality offerings on the marketplace that are more deserving of our money and besides  the  lets go laugh at the failings of others  mindset reflects an elitism that makes me uncomfortable  but things are different this summer  quality films  to put it mildly  have been few and far between  so as far as im concerned  its fair to find our kicks where we may   original sin  will never join such treasures as  valley of the dolls    road house  and  showgirls  in the bad movie hall of fame  but itll do until something worse comes along  the film  adapted by director michael cristofer from the cornell woolrich novel   waltz into darkness   which was also the source for the 1969 francois truffaut film   mississippi mermaid    opens in a turnofthecentury prison  as jolies character  slated for a dawn execution  tells her lurid tale to a priest who appears desperately horny  the freshman writing class tone is quickly established when she says things like   this is not a love story  it is a story about love   wary of local golddiggers  cuban coffee dealer luis antonio vargas  banderas  makes arrangements to secure a mail order bride from america  listing himself as a mere clerk to dissuade foreign golddiggers  a practical man  luis chooses a frumpy looking lady  hoping she will be a loyal mate able to provide him with children  imagine his surprise when his fianc  e  julia russell  jolie   turns out to be infinitely more attractive than the woman in the photo  julia explains that she sent a different womans image because she didnt want to be selected solely for her pretty face  luis then confesses his deception  leading julie to state  with great significance   we have something in common  we are both not to trusted   after their wedding  luis and julia retire for a glorious night of carefully choreographed lovemaking  with their bodies positioned to display her breasts and his bottom as erotically as possible  jolie and banderas are attractive people and watching them naked is fun  although the filmmakers insistence on using one of banderas legs to cover jolies crotch makes it look like hes trying to climb her  luis  the stupidest man who ever lived  immediately instructs the bank to make his personal and business accounts available to julia  despite the fact that she seems nothing like the woman with whom he corresponded  his blissful ignorance continues as the warning signs mount up  luis must force julia to write to her sister emily  who is frantic over her lack of communication  shortly after julia complains about the chirping of a pet bird  it is found on the floor of its cage with a broken neck  finally  when she cleans out his accounts and disappears  luis begins to suspect that something might be wrong  incidentally  if youre afraid im giving too much away  rest assured that all of this happens in the first 30 minutes of the movie  leaving plenty of time for numerous dopey plot twists  a great deal of operatic acting and more footage of her tits and his ass  along the way  private detective walter downs  played by thomas jane  who was terrific as mickey mantle in the hbo movie  61    turns up  hired by the frumpy womans sister to find out what happened to the real julia  luis is also eager for the detective to track down the con artist  having decided that if he cant have her  he will kill her  oh  the pathos of it all  the cast appears to recognize the trashiness of the story  adjusting their performances accordingly  banderas is suitably impassioned  while jolie alternates between vamping and pouting  and with those lips  she can really pout   as for thomas jane  he starts off acting suspicious and cagey  then accelerates to a snidely whiplash level of nastiness  his most startling moment comes when  to prove his power to humiliate  he forces luis against a wall  verbally taunts him while rubbing his cheeks against those of luis and then finishes establishing his dominance with a fullon kiss  if anyone ever questions the difference between sex and rape  show them this chilling scene  and if anyone ever questions the difference between real drama and a laughable potboiler  show them  original sin   
neg	one would think that david duchovny  star of the cult favorite  xfiles  would be very careful in choosing his leading man cinema roles  at least one would hope so  one would be seriously incorrect  eugene sands  duchovny  is a surgeon so dedicated to his craft that he becomes addicted to amphetamines to stay awake and work more  it turns out to be a bad plan when he loses a patient and his license while under the influence  ten months later  in a seedy bar to score synthetic heroin  the doctor gets a chance to ply his trade when assassins gun down a customer  using a plastic water bottle and bar tubing  sands operates and saves his life  smalltime hoodlum raymond blossom  timothy hutton  is impressed with the cutlery skills on his associate  he kidnaps and then offers downandout eugene a position in his organization  blossom needs a doctor to patch up gunshot victims that would be problematic at a hospital  sands temptation is that this will give him a chance to practice medicine again albeit illegally  big chunks of cash to fuel his habit and close proximity to the gangsters womanfriend claire  angelina jolie   this films babe factor  the wouldbe big time operator is desperately in need of help  on the run from russian mobsters  the bad guys that seem to be all the rage in this years films  and trying to cut a pirate software deal with the chinese mafia  blossom is surrounded by blood  after a few medical misadventures  the physician grows disenchanted with his employment  an encounter with a couple of psycho surfer dudes who threaten to blow him away unless he  fixes  their dead buddy cements his feeling that he is in the wrong line of work  when the fbi visits and forces him to become an informant  there is no question that he needs to be somewhere else  oddly enough  these seem like they could be exciting scenes  the film disproves that assumption  then a bunch of other uninteresting things happen  writing this only two days after seeing the film  its a struggle to remember the events  you can take that as a solid lack of recommendation  for all the coolness that duchovny exhibits in  xfiles   its a surprise that his big screen presence is so lacking in charisma  the doctor is particularly bland and dull  even the cold turkey bit which is rife with dramatic possibilities come across as banal  a little chocolate and minor sweats get him through heroin withdrawal  like virtually everything else in the film  its a missed opportunity  the fox mulder detachment doesnt work here  oscarwinner huttons manic mobster is much more difficult to get a handle on  played partially for comedy and partially as crazed killer  blossom almost becomes real  but then sinks into goofiness  most of the time hutton looks as if hes searching for his character and coming up empty  jolie also makes a few false moves towards creating a threedimensional human being before giving up and turning into scenery  the most interesting aspect of her performance is watching her pouty lips threaten to take over the screen  the rest arent any better  michael massees eccentric fbi agent never revs up  one of blossoms henchmen steals a few moments of the show as a quirky gunman reminiscent of val kilmers doc holliday in  tombstone   his twogunned blasting as he does a bizarre dance is the high point of the film  but that 15 seconds isnt worth sitting through the other 90 minutes  first time film director andy wilson  known for his work on the british television series  cracker   appears to be attempting to jump on the  pulp fiction  bandwagon  the best of these movies combine a sense of style and flash with significant substance  the secondrate ones concentrate on just one of these aspects   playing god  does neither well  the basic idea of the film is solid  and then it goes nowhere  even worse  it plods back and forth  up and down a long and winding road before it ends up nowhere  fox fails yet again in his search for intelligent life  
neg	 i would appreciate it if you didnt do that again   starring jet li  bridget fonda  tch  ky karyo  burt kwouk  directed by chris nahon  rated r  its no secret that martial arts film often use their plot simply to get from one action sequence to another  when the fight scenes are enough to justify paying admission  there is no problem with this  as in most jackie chan projects and a lot of the hong kong actioners  when they arent  well  were in bad shape  kiss of the dragon  jet lis second consecutive american misfire  plays like one big miscalculation  and fails even as the most rudimentary entertainment  now before i start getting emails angrily touting the genius of jet li  let me explain myself  li is as spectacular as ever here  and i dont think anyone would ever dare call his martialartsstar skills into question  the problem isnt with him  its with the movies tone  the much touted fightscenes here are filmed with such unflinching  unrelenting brutality that they are unpleasant to watch  theyre joyless  perfuctory  lis rogue chinese detective is more of a killing machine than a hero  a terminator with a black belt instead of a metal skeleton  but even the terminator in judgement day had a sympathetic side  the plot isnt relevant  but if youre curious  its some nonsense about a chinese law enforcement officer  li  sent to paris to investigate a possible drug ring and encounter a corrupt chief of police  tcheky karyo   who kills people and does sinister things with no motivation whatsoever  oh yeah  and lis character is also an acupuncture expert who is able to ease pain andor kill at the touch of a needle   kiss of the dragon  is the name of an acupuncture maneuver  in which you stick a needle in a precise location on the back of the victims neck  somehow redirecting all of the bodys bloodflow to the brain and killing the poor sap more or less immediately  theres a vague attempt to humanize li by having him fall in love with a downtrodden prostitute  whose daughter is being held hostage  for some reason  by the villain  this is one of the worst love stories i have ever seen on screen  even worse than the one in pearl harbor  theres no conviction whatsoever as the movie barely pays lip service to it  its only here because someone apparently thought there should be some kind of boymeetsgirl subplot  kiss of the dragon was written by luc besson  whose screenplay the messenger  the story of joan of arc  for all of that films flaws  was at least thoughtful  i dont know why the guy got himself involved in this train wreck  but perhaps he wanted to so something more mainstream after the neverending weirdness of the fifth element and the aforementioned stylized biopic  i suppose you could call this mainstream  but ill choose the bizarre any time of the day  if action scenes in a movie are going to be brutal instead of dazzling  you need a story to justify watching them  the filmmakers behind kiss of the dragon should have rethought their strategy  no one will walk out of this misbegotten project smiling  but i hear rush hour 2 is coming in just a few weeks  
neg	the rich legacy of cinema has left us with certain indelible images  the tinkling christmas tree bell in  its a wonderful life   bogies speech at the airport in  casablanca   little elliotts flying bicycle  silhouetted by the moon in  e  t   and now   starship troopers  director paul verhoeven adds one more image that will live in our memories forever  doogie houser doing a vulcan mind meld with a giant slug   starship troopers   loosely based on the robert heinlein novel  is the story of an interstellar war between humans and giant insects  in the hands of verhoeven  the mammoth scifi battle flick is one of the most astonishingly bad films ever made  a monument to inept filmmaking on a colossal scale  to put it simply  its a bug bomb  in  robocop  and  total recall   verhoeven displayed a gift for creating an entertaining mix of violence  special effects and social satire  and  starship troopers  starts off in similar fashion  with a tongueincheek futuristic military recruitment ad that shows promise  things go downhill fast  though  as we meet our heroes  a group of buenos aires teens preparing to graduate from high school  inexplicably  johnny rico  carmen ibenez  dizzy flores and xander barcalow are played by squarejawed anglo kids who look like they just stepped out of a mountain dew commercial  its a veritable  alpha centuri 90210  as we watch the lovesmitten teens squabble in the name of love  michael ironside plays their teacher  who waves around a cheesy fake severed arm while lecturing about civic responsibilities  eventually  the kids join the military  with dreams of glory in their addled little minds  one of their classmates  carl jenkins   doogie housers  neil patrick harris   snags a job in military intelligence because of his strong psychic abilities  he displays his gift by psychically ordering a pet ferret to crawl up his mothers leg  a long  dull boot camp sequence follows  enlivened only by an extended coed shower scene where the recruits swap snappy banter as the  showgirls  directors camera roams over their buff bodies  finally  a full hour into the film  the war finally starts and we meet the enemy  the bugs hail from klendathu and colonize planets by hurling their spores into space  they attack starships by spinning around and firing deadly plasma blasts from their rears  yes  incredible as it seems  the bugs actually kill with cosmic farts  a phenomenally large amount of money was spent creating the computer animated insects and the results are mixed at best  sweeping distant shots depicting hordes of giant bugs racing to attack are both impressive and scary  but the closeups are a different matter  the insects have an odd  artificial look  like origami creations with a mottled plastic coating  the attack scenes are intensely violent  as one would expect from verhoeven  but the overall look is too phony to generate any real tension  while the action is frantic  the military strategy  wildly illogical even by hollywood standards  grows tiresome quickly  verhoeven tries to spice things up by throwing in more satiric news coverage  but the fauxjingoistic scenes of children  doing their part for the war effort  by squishing roaches on a sidewalk arent enough to make up for the long stretches of sheer dreck  one can only guess what paul verhoeven was trying to do here  his customary one part satire  two parts ultraviolence formula is way out of whack  and most of the film just flounders  in  showgirls  fashion  some scenes are almost bad enough to be good  an intergalactic kegger party  with jake busey playing  dixie  on a green plexiglas fiddle  has a certain bizarre appeal  a sex scene between two of the teens achieves a smarmy charm  enhanced a few minutes later when the female receives a fatal jab from a bug  but tells her hero that she doesnt mind dying   its okay   she gasps   i got to have you   and then  of course  theres doogies mind meld with a bug  its possible that verhoeven was attempting to create an homage to the era of the original novel  heinleins pre  stranger in a strange land  books were aimed at adolescent males  and  starship troopers  has the antiseptic retrofuture look of late 50searly 60s scifi  the one cityscape shown is a jetsonslike gleaming metropolis  with flying cars whizzing past an obvious matte painting  the hairstyles are retro too  straight from the frankie avalon  annette funicello school of fashion  ultimately  verhoevens motives are irrelevant  he has produce a gargantuan film that fails as an action film or as a social satire  it even fails to be an entertaining bad movie  avoid  starship troopers  at all costs  
neg	tim robbins and martin lawernce team up in this road movie comedy  robbins plays an exec who discovers his wife having sex with his boss  he goes into depression  and drives around his neighbourhood until he arrives inside the usual ghetto side of every american city  there  lawernce attempts to steal his car  but to no avail  and is dragged along with robbins on a trip to arizona  there  they hold up a store  are mistaken for two other robbers  just like in my cousin vinny  and are chased by the police  and the other robbers  of course  theres gags along the way  usually from lawernce  although the film is midly funny  and quite watchable  theres something so horribly familiar about it all  this film should really be called beverly hills midnight run theres lawernce with his wisecracking and heavy profanity  just like eddie murphy in beverly hills cop  and pratically the same idea as midnight run  its full of all the road movie cliches  and even has a comedy car chase  which just seemed so eighties  even the credit sequence seemed to be out of a steve martin  or chevy chase  eighties comedy  there also isnt much chemistry between robbins and lawernce  in planes  trains and automobiles  there was real chemistry between steve martin and john candy  in nothing to lose  there is hardly chemistry at all  towards the end the chemistry seems to work  but for the bulk of the film  there is hardly any  the director directs the film in a workman like fashion  but gets the jokes across  and although there is no chemistry between the two leads  they give good performances on their own  lawerence gives a good eddie murphy performance  and robbins is alright aswell  however  robbins performance is nowhere near as good as the characters he played in jacobs ladder  and the player  in fact  if you want to see robbins do comedy much better than in nothing to lose  i suggest you rent out the hudsucker proxy  where he is much funnier  nothing to lose does have some funny moments in it  however  the humour isnt particulary sophisticated  but if you enojyed dumb  dumber  you might enjoy this  the characters in arizona are funny  and theres also a good scene where robbins asks a shopkeeper which threatening approach was better  lawerences  which consisted of lawerence threatening to shoot the shopkeepers ass  and swearing a lot   or himselfs   which was speaking in a deep  scary voice  but the gags are predictable  the lack of chemistry infurating  and the ending too farfetched and perfect nothing to lose then  is robbins first bad movie  and hopefully his last   and suggests that odereick should twice before making another film  he nearly ruined carreys career with ace ventura  when nature calls  lets hope he hasnt ruined robbins  or even lawerences  with nothing to lose  
neg	capsule  not as bad a sequel as crow 2 or batman  robin  but still horribly putrid  cheesy and illconceived  this one belongs in saturday morning cartoons    extended review  you know  about halfway through this movie  i realized that if you hacked out everything except the fight scenes  youd have a damn fine 35 minutes or so of flashy  hong kong style martial arts  beautifully choreographed by robin shou  who also plays liu kang  the fight scenes are both mindblowing and graceful  acrobatic enough to make olympic gymnasts weep  this is what made the original so fun  but unfortunately for the sequel  we are without the frenetic directorial style of paul anderson  instead  they got john r  leonetti  the cinematographer for the original mortal kombat  not a good choice  while the fight scenes are brutal and eyepopping  the rest of the movie looks like standard made for tv fare  the acting is subpar  which i could endure if it were not for a   the directors style  b   the special effects   c   the treatment of the story and characters  a   mr  leonetti should go back to lighting  in my opinion  i could say dozens of bad things about him  he way overuses slowmotion  he has no eye for action  he cant get even mediocre performances out of actors  and so on  but by far his worst move was the way he treated jumping  apparantly  everybody can now fly  hell  im all for the occaisional gravity defying flip kick and whatnot  but not when it happens every few minutes  and is done so poorly  better jumping and acrobatics has been seen in xena  warrior princess  in short  they should have gotten paul anderson back  or at least let robin shou direct    b   unlike the first one  whose sfx were vibrant and somewhat realistic  mk  as special effects are bland  fake looking  and overall just plain bad  i counted at least half a dozen times that bluescreening was painfully obvious  had this movie been made in the 80s  it would have been groundbreaking  but in todays industry  it doesnt even look finished  c   now for the really bad parts  i admit  im an avid fan of the mortal kombat series  the games are amusing diversions  an easy way to work off stress and anger  the first movie was a mindlessly fun thrillride  this could have been a really cool movie  it isnt  the writers apparantly deemed it necessary to lower the target audience from teens to preschoolers  some of the plot elements are just plain stupid  how stupid  take  for instance  how our heroes move around  they use giants spheres the roll around underground  supposedly at thousands of miles per hour    oh boy    even worse is the treatment of secondary characters  blink and youll miss em  most characters had more depth in the video games  if you thought batman  robin was bad about this  you aint seen nothin yet  a good 75 of the characters are introduced  kick somebody around a bit  then either die or are forgotten about  theres no explanation at all for this  and for the final blasphemy  the fight that all the fans were waiting rabidly for  the fight hyped to be the most intricate of the movie  lasted about 3 minutes and then just sort of    ended  it almost made me weep  to sum it all up  rent it on video  and fastforward through everything except the fight scenes  
neg	in  the astronauts wife   charlize theron plays a young woman with a nervous demeanor  pixiehairdo and demon spawn unwittingly growing in her belly  if only her name wasnt jillian  the makers of this embarrassing bit of scifi shlock could have come up with a far more appropriate title   rosemarys species   what a shame it is to see such a gifted actress as theron  oscarworthy in  the devils advocate   struggle with the lamest ripoff of a screendom classic in recent memory  ok  maybe  the astronauts wife  deviates from  rosemarys baby  turf for its setup  which finds our heroine terrorized not by satans minions but her possessed husband  johnny depp   a shuttle pilot whose mission mishap leaves him  um  a changed man  predictably  he and the missus get it on in a sequence best described as unpleasant  his evil seed impregnating her with twins and realizing that great  bowfinger  line about  alien love   therons  advocate  character faced a similar dilemma  the horror there resonating strongly   astronaut  provides only artificial anxiety  last years equally noodleheaded  species ii  spun a similar premise about the breeding habits of an extraterrestrial on earth  but at least that movie more or less knew it was garbage   the astronauts wife  is grave and humorfree  passing its increasingly silly story off as fullfledged serious  right down to an ambiguous finale that isnt even going to satisfy those whove stayed with it thus far  heres a hint  it involves lots of water  electrical equipment  a special effect from  the abyss  and the tots who doubled up as adam sandlers costar in  big daddy   draw your own conclusions  directorwriter rand ravich coats the proceedings in dynamic sights masterminded by legendary  e  t   cinematographer allen daviau  but too often favors the films visual presentation over the story hes trying to tell  this bodes horribly for each dramatic development  like the surfacing of a suspicious nasa official   speed  s joe morton  to instigate jills slow and stupid comprehension of the truth  his hypererratic behavior is probably supposed to give wife a paranoid edge  instead  he adds to the phoniness  theron and depp are certainly beyond this junk and will get other chances to prove themselves this fall  she as part of an imposing ensemble case in the john irving adaptation  cider house rules   he in the lead of tim burtons eagerlyawaited  sleepy hollow   undeserving of such talent   the astronauts wife  manages to be derivative  dull and uninvolving despite its seemingly ripe potential for unintentional laughs  in space  no one can hear you scream  but in a movie theatre  everyone can hear you snore  
neg	for a good ten years or so  super cool chow yun fat has enjoyed god hood status in the hong kong action scene  now  he has followed in the footsteps of director john woo   who launched chows super stardom in the acclaimed a better tomorrow  by moving to hollywood  i had some reservations about this move and it would seem i was right to have them  chow plays a hitman who is doing jobs in order to repay a debt  his final job requires him to kill a policemans seven year old boy  this he refuses do and runs  however  he is forced into a violent confrontation when his family are threatned and replacement killers are brought in to do the job  cue around 80 minutes of various and quite frankly tedious shoot outs which take place in various locations  some thought had gone into making them a bit different but unfortunately they end up being just plain boring  the car wash scene  i found myself laughing at how stupid it looked  tut tut  the emphasis during the constant action seemed to be on the accompanying music   i could have sworn one piece was ripped out of a bruckheimer movie  and not on the content  mia sorvino  a passport forger  is dragged into the affay and also provides a lame love interest as well as being rather handy with a gun  director antoine arqua has clearly not observed chows excellent acting capabilties and simply requires him to mutter a few lines of broken english and look flash as he stands and shoots  chows trademark of twin pistol shooting is saved for the finale  which in fairness is quite good  and theres not even a toothpick in site  and as for making chow shoot like a cop  well thats damned unforgiveable  to round up  the replacement killers is a pretty darned lame first outing for chow  it would appear he has left asia for a 90 minute pop video  this is not what we wanted at all  considering john woo was the exec producer   did he have no say so at all   watch the killer again and weep at the difference  review by chris hill   theres room at the top  they are telling you still  but first you must learn how to smile as you kill  if you want to be like the folks on the hill   
neg	libby parsons  ashley judd  has the perfect little life  a rich husband  a cute son  and a house on the ocean  but when her husband nick  bruce greenwood  takes her sailing  she awakes to find him gone and her hands covered with blood  just as she makes it to the deck and picks up the bloody knife lying there  the coast guard arrives in response to a distress call her vanished husband sent  shes convicted of his murder  of course  and leaves her son matty  benjamin weir  with her best friend  annabeth gish   time passes  and the friend disappears with matty  during their last phone conversation libby hears matty yell  daddy   and realizes that her husband is still alive  libby serves six years  growing harder and driven by the desire to kill nick  based on the theory that because of the  double jeopardy  amendment she can off him with impunity   when she gets parole  shes sent to a halfway house run by travis lehman  tommy lee jones   a former law professor who ruined his life with a drunk driving accident  after a little breaking and entering and some destruction of property  libby jumps parole and lams it across the country looking for nick and matty  travis pursues  naturally   double jeopardy  is a watereddown version of  the fugitive   with jones sleepwalking through his wellworn pursuer persona  although libby never leaps from a bus that collides with a train  she manages to get into a few nailbiters  chased down the beach by a jeep  chained to a car that plunges into the ocean  sealed in a coffin  that add some much needed thrills to an anemic  slowmoving script  character development is thin  travis intriguing backstory is mentioned a couple times but has no effect on the story   i think they only made him a former law professor so that he could verify the doublejeopardy theory when libby gets the drop on nick  its a long way to go for one line   theres considerable sexual tension between travis and libby  hey  theres something  the fugitive  didnt have    but it never goes anywhere  libby is a tvmovie everywoman  but judds intense performance draws us in and makes us forget that her character has no distinguishing characteristics  this is judds most prominent role to date  and she proves that she can light up the screen  lets hope hollywood gives her more to work with next time around  the quality of director bruce beresfords movies seems to depend on luck  when he has a good script and a strong cast  he turns out oscarcaliber work like  breaker morant    driving miss daisy   and  tender mercies   when he doesnt    we get  double jeopardy   screenwriters david weisberg and douglas cook previously collaborated on  the rock   a script which probably benefited from the numerous uncredited rewrites  bottom line  ashley judd tries hard but cant save this predictable bore  
neg	as far as  mystery men  is concerned  the burning question is less  is it really as bad as it looks from the trailer    the answer there is an unequivocal  yes   and more  how in the name of sweet jesus did firsttime director kinka usher get such a firstrate cast to act in this muck    mystery men  features greg kinnear as the heavilysponsored captain amazing and geoffrey rush as his arch nemesis  singular  casanova frankenstein  a veritable police lineup of hot hollywood talent plays the superhero wannabes of the title  who join forces to get c  amazing out of a tight spot when c  frankenstein puts the screws on champion city  theres william h  macy as the mildmannered shoveler  hank azaria as the cutleryflinging blue raja  no knives  but a phony english accent thats just as sharp   ben stiller as mr  furious  whose only power seems to be his ability to get hot under the collar   janeane garofalo as a crazed bowler with her fathers skull interestingly preserved  wes studi as a rhetoricspouting cowled avenger  and kel mitchell as the token  and  adding insult to injury  invisible   black guy  bringing up the rear  so to speak  is paul reubens  yes  thats pee wee herman paul reubens  as    well  lets just call him the gas man  the production design is overblown  the special effects are overdone  and the script  based on bob burdens  dark horse  comic book series  is overbaked  the appealing actors are uniformly good and stiller is even stellar  but they cant begin to save  mystery men  its just one big mess  youre better off renting the video and pressing fastforward to get to the funny bits  i believe i counted three  
neg	the swirling sick feeling hit me just a few minutes into  heartbreakers   ray liottas character was making out with his secretary when his new wife knocked on the door of his office  while scrambling to collect himself  he frantically shouted to her   just wait a sex  er  i mean sec   i was struck by a wave of revulsion  thinking   geez  didnt lines like that die when threes company was canceled   over the next few minutes  as the barely double entendres and lingering cleavage shots grew more numerous  i realized that the mindset behind  heartbreakers  predated  threes company   suddenly  i had an outofbody experience as my internal wayback machine swept me to the mid1960s  all across america  the counterculture was growing like wildfire  but there was scant evidence of it on tv  while young people were challenging traditional values on the streets  frustrated teenagers like me were stuck at home  sulking while our parents enjoyed the latest bob hope special  women in skimpy bathing suits would prance onscreen while hope made growling noises and leered at their breasts  on another channel  dean martin made wisecracks about  booze and broads  and peter lawford  decked out in love beads and a nehru jacket  purred suggestive oneliners as he ogled the gogo dancers  the adults laughed and laughed   heartbreakers  reeks of that stagnant mentality  from its lingering shots of jennifer love hewitts vahvahvoom breasts to its leaden screenplay  which paints women as haughty schemers and men as drooling buffoons too sexobsessed to realize they are being manipulated  in addition to liotta and hewitt  the cast includes sigourney weaver  gene hackman  jason lee  nora dunn and anne bancroft  i cant imagine what drew performers of their caliber to this project  perhaps they thought it was a parody of the sniggering sex comedies of the 60s  if so  they were sadly mistaken  the story revolves around a motherdaughter conteam  it opens with the marriage of max  weaver  to dean  liotta   a new jersey chop shop operator  having withheld sex until the honeymoon  max pretends to pass out on their wedding night  the next morning  she feigns illness  sending a very horny dean off to the office  where he ends up in the arms of his new secretary  just as the two are about to get overtly physical  max bursts into the room and catches them  the  horrified  bride dissolves the union  garnering a healthy cash settlement along the way  of course  the secretary was really her daughter page  hewitt  and the whole thing was a setup  the women move on  but an irs agent  bancroft  catches up with them and demands a huge amount of money to cover unpaid taxes  in desperate need of funds  max and page head for palm beach to replay the scam  their mark this time is william b  tensy  hackman  in hideous makeup   a decrepit tobacco tycoon obsessed with the joys of smoking  max starts to put the game into action  but page is so repelled by the old man  and angry with her mom  that she slips off to enact her own score  targeting jack  a laid back young beach bar owner who is worth a fortune  complications arise when page realizes that goodnatured jack is stirring actual emotions in her steely little heart  as if that wasnt enough  dean reappears on the scene with revenge on his mind  the attempt to weld a romance onto a caper comedy served only to remind me of the infinitely superior  a fish called wanda   i wont bother to compare the two  suffice to say that everything done right in  wanda  is done wrong here   heartbreakers  is soulless  inept and  at 123 minutes  at least a halfhour too long  sigourney weaver and jennifer love hewitt throw themselves into their parts  but have nowhere to go with the metallic characters  gene hackman is utterly wasted in a onenote  onejoke part that has him doing nothing but smoking  coughing and waxing rhapsodic about smoking and sex  poor jason lee is stuck in the ingenue role and the normally charismatic actor comes off as merely bland  ray liotta manages to squeeze a tiny bit of humanity and humor into his walking clich   but only a bit  the low point in the film has weaver employing a russian accent bad enough to make boris and natasha wince  while doing halfassed slapstick with a broken off penis from a statue  bear in mind  though  that this is merely the worst segment of a movie made up of nothing but low points  if you remember bob hope specials with fondness  this might be your cup of tea  as for me  im going to watch  a fish called wanda  now and try to forget i ever saw  heartbreakers   
neg	 american pie  alums jason biggs and mena suvari star in this summers attempt to capitalize on the youth market looking for a comedy about young people they can relate to that combines generic hollywood cute coupleness and zany comedy  its about an a student  biggs as  paul   who gets a scholarship to some college in new york city who sticks out like a sore thumb and falls for dora  suvari  a ditzy heroinchic goth chick who has no ambition or selfrespect whatsoever and allows herself to be pushed around just like  hickboy  paul is  so weve got a fishoutwater formula mixed with meetcute romantic comedy which ideally should make for a good movie  unfortunately the atrocious screenplay and boring direction by  clueless  auteur amy heckerling successfully manages to screw up everything about the film  these characters are totally unrealistic and unbelievable  its as if everyone under age 30 is a stoned raver  theres no background or details to anyone or anything  its just a bunch of cartoon characters running into each other  not to mention the story itself which is virtually nonexistant and contains so many plotholes its like swiss cheese  even the basic editing is bad  if youre looking for a romantic comedy stay far away from this one because it is neither romantic nor funny  i saw this in a packed cinema on opening night and the audience barely laughed at all  if youve seen the commericials youve seen all the  funny  parts  which are all from the first five minutes   
neg	last summer  a featurelength version of the avengers hit theaters to the tune of a unanimous critical panning  based on the famous 60s television show  the film was an enormous boxoffice flop and a huge disappointment for warner bros  a year later  the studio is up to their old tricks again  with the unnecessary revival of the robert conrad program the wild  wild west  but it sounded promising  the same tagteam of star will smith and director barry sonnenfeld  who both contributed to make men in black such a financial success  is at the reins again  and costar kevin kline is attached to the project  as well as a substantial budget to spice up the special effects  i mean  what could possibly go wrong  the answer is just about everything  wild wild west is a cinematic abomination  a film that was so entirely pointless to begin with that it is never given a proper chance to get out of the gate  there are a lot of fancy special effects  and a handful of distinguished actors who try desperately to tunnel through the inane plot and make a lasting impression  but the script is so deliriously uneven  the entire movie so off course  that no human being or technical achievement has a chance to salvage it  at square one  we have a bizarre case of casting  will smith plays james west  a renegade cowboy who was originally played by white actor robert conrad in the tv series  my guess regarding the casting of africanamerican smith is a simple one  the actor  a cozy summertime release  big bucks for all those involved  smith is a very talented performer who usually brings swift assurance to any comic relief material  but this is not an ideal role for him  hes too much of a joker  i heard that initial casting included george clooney in the lead role  and frankly  that sounds a lot more plausible  what makes matters worse is that smith goes through the role with such selfassurance in his eyes  you can practically sense his contentment with the fact that he knows wild wild west will be a huge hit at the summer box office  the plot involves west and crossdressing government agent artemus gordon  kevin kline   who are assigned by the president to recover a group of kidnapped scientists  the trail leads to the diabolical dr  arliss loveless  kenneth branagh   a man with no lower body who speaks in a dry  witty southern accent  loveless has taken the countrys top technical minds hostage so that they can assist in his deranged plan of total government control  using lethal superweapons to destroy entire towns  one such weapon is an 80foot mechanical tarantula  bearing eight spindly legs of thrashing metal and spewing enormous fireballs left and right  the visual effects that bring this metallic bug to life are spectacular  seamlessly blending computergenerated imagery with the western surroundings  unfortunately  all of these effects seem so detached from the story  and can do little to support the films plot deficiencies  which are undoubtedly the main problem  wild wild west is a running gag that never truly works  most of the jokes  usually care of smith  die on arrival  if its one thing that could possibly be the saving grace  its the performances  and even they are mostly offkilter and poorly delivered  kline is admirable  but he has little to do but invent silly devices on the spot  salma hayek is wasted as the romantic interest  because she is viewed as little more than that  window dressing to look pretty and create conflict between west and gordon  branagh  an esteemed shakespearean actor and director  adds marginal enjoyment to the film  but even he is so utterly weird and overthetop  rarely is a film so lost in itself as wild wild west is  i suppose theres always one turkey of the summer season  a highly anticipated  bigbudget release that manages to completely disappoint  wild wild west is such a movie  and will probably go down as one of the biggest disappointments of 1999  but it is highly unlikely that this will go down in defeat at the box office  perhaps after this  audiences will be less assured when they see will smiths name stamped on a summer movie  after such hits as independence day and mib  wild wild west is not an impressive addition to the resume  
neg	at the outset of swordfish  john travoltas gabriel shear is pontificating about the status of american cinema today  basically  he says  it boils down to a lack of imagination among the majority of writers  how ironic  as travolta seems to be describing his latest venture  swordfish is loud  violent and amoral  it has the audacity to justify murder and mayhem in the name of sustaining our way of life  and how does travoltas gabriel plan to do this  by robbing billions from his own government and using the funds to outterrorize terrorists  swordfish is a very cynical movie  it relies on an audiences perception of our leaders as ineffectual and duplicitous and on terrorists as nonhuman  faceless entities not worthy of compassion or consideration  the movies plot is preposterous with enough illogical leaps that if the film ever slowed down  youd actually see how ridiculous it all is  this is a liveaction road runner cartoon  moving so quickly that its over before you can catch your breath to ask any reasonable questions  the storyline revolves around super hacker stanley jobson  hugh jackman   recruited by gabriel to crack the governments computer codes so gabriel can gather billions for his antiterrorist campaign  talk about whackedout patriotism  my objections to swordfish are many  the body count is high  but that is expected in a movie of this sort  its becoming a bore watching anonymous soldiers  police officers and government agents blown to bits  another example is the family dynamics between stanley  his 10yearold daughter and his exwife  stanley  though having served time in prison for hacking  is shown as a loving and caring father  forbidden by his ex to see his little girl  audience animosity is immediately created for his former spouse by showing her as a drinker and smoker who also sometimes stars in her new husbands adult films  thus when she is found murdered late in the movie  neither stanley nor his daughter are allowed any time to grieve  in fact  subconsciously  many in the audience are probably glad she was killed  then there is the sequence involving one of gabriels henchman holding a gun to the head of stanleys daughter to coerce the hacker to download the key computer program for gabriel  children as pawns have become a most unwelcome clich  in recent films  there is enough violence in the real world involving children without having to make them onscreen victims as well  yea  its only make believe  but that doesnt mean you have to tolerate it  travolta is cool  deadly charming and flamboyant as the nearcrazy gabriel  his character is reminiscent of his villainous characterizations in broken arrow and faceoff  jackman looks dour through most of the proceedings  his only moment of any depth comes when he finally is able to create the worm to get inside the government database  his sense of joy and accomplishment is one any computer whiz can appreciate  halle berry is decorative and lovely as gabriels assistant  while don cheadle is given little to do as the head fbi agent hunting gabriel  swordfish plays like a comic book with a largerthanlife character in gabriel  viewers align themselves with him despite their uncertainty if he is hero or villain  and maybe that is the movies underlying flaw  there is no real hero to speak of  only those doing their upmost to survive  and that is not enough  this is one swordfish that should have been thrown back in the water  
neg	its probably inevitable that the popular virtual reality genre   the matrix    existenz   would collide with the even more popular serialkiller genre   kiss the girls    se7en    the result should have been more interesting than  the cell   as the movie opens  therapist catharine deane  jennifer lopez  treats a catatonic boy  colton james  by entering his mind through some sort of virtual reality technique thats never fully explained  after months of therapy sessions in a surreal desert  catharine has no success to report  meanwhile  killer carl stargher  vincent donofrio  has claimed another victim  his particular hobby is to kidnap young women  keep them in a glass cell overnight  and drown them  he takes the corpse and soaks it in bleach  then suspends himself over the body and jerks off while watching a video tape of the drowning  although carls been doing this for awhile  hes recently become sloppy  and fbi agent peter novak  vince vaughn  is closing in fast  not fast enough  though  to keep carl from sticking another woman  tara subkoff  in the cell or to catch him before he suffers a schizophrenic attack that leaves him in a coma  from the videos in carls house  peter can see that the drowning cell is automated and will fill with water forty hours after the abduction  to save the kidnapped girl  peter has to find the cell before the end of the day  and comatose carls not talking  so off they go to catharine in the hope that she can go inside carls mind and find out where the cell is in time  the focus of  the cell  in on the ornate interior of carls mind  but the universe director tarsem singh creates seems more an exercise in computergenerated spectacle than an exploration of the psychotic personality  for the most part  its style without substance  in his own mind  carl is a decadent emperor in flowing robes  ming the merciless  as well as a frightened boy  jake thomas  abused by his father  all in all  the mind of a psycho killer turns out to be a strangely dull place  and i kept wishing i could fastforward to the next development  singh is best known for directing music videos  particularly rems  losing my religion   and  the cell  seems very much like a really long  really slow mtv video with the sound deleted  singer lopez seems to think shes in a video as well  she devotes more time to posing in elaborate costumes than she does to acting  the premise had great promise  the computergenerated world within carls mind could have been a bizarre  surreal universe governed by insanity and symbolism rather than logic  the first room catharine enters in carls head shows this promise  she finds a horse standing in center of the room  suddenly  sheets of sharpedged glass fall into the horse  dividing it into segments  the panes of glass separate  pulling apart the pieces of the stillliving horse  this scene is twisted  disturbing  and thoughtprovoking  because the psychological importance of the horse and its fate is left to the viewer to ponder  another element that should have been developed is the effect on catharine of merging with the mind of a psychopath  their minds begin to bleed together at one point in the movie  and this should have provided an opportunity to discover the dark corners of catharines own psyche  like sidney lumets  the offence  or michael manns  manhunter    the cell  could have explored how the madness of the killer brings out a repressed darkness in the investigator  however  catharines character is hardly developed at all  and lopez has no depth to offer the role  bottom line  dont get trapped in this one  
neg	synopsis  an aging master art thief  his supplier  and a young  buxom security consultant are all not who they first appear to be  or are they   in this convoluted mess involving a risky heist during the millennium  comments  this movie was boring  plain and simple  entrapment should not have been boring  it stars sean connery  who can still carry an action film despite his age  catherine zetajones  a likeable enough film presence  and ving rhames  ultracool star of pulp fiction and mission  impossible  it takes full advantage of the y2k computer bug fears  a current  hot topic  in the news  in its storyline  which is set at the end of 1999  it has some genuinely wellstaged action sequences  so  what went wrong  plenty  unfortunately  the major problem with entrapment is its script  it has a beenthere  donethat feel to it  nothing seems particularly inventive or original  so the whole movie lacks suspense and drags  it runs nearly two hours   the screenwriters  for example  periodically use a countdown to the millennium as a means of transition between scenes  i  e   4 days to the millennium    this device was used much more effectively in the overlooked scifi film strange days  the characters are not who they appear to be at the beginning  which is neat at first but the device wears thin once the umpteenth  surprise  revelation is made  entrapment  in other words  relies too heavily on the audience not knowing what each characters true motive is  resulting in a convoluted story which leaves many scratching their heads in confusion  the star power here is quite strong  but the viewer cant help but feel the actors are wasted in this production  sean connery is given such mindnumbing lines as  never trust a naked woman   ving rhames character seems like an afterthought  hes not developed at all  the camera zooms in frequently and leeringly at catherine zetajoness tight wardrobe  this  in and of itself  is not bad  but  after a while  it has a juvenile feel to it  at least the species movies hold no bones about the fact that theyre exploiting the female body  entrapment does the same under the thin disguise of plot development  sean connery supposedly falls in love with the girl while watching her  in tights  arc and pivot around laser beams   the tagline for this movie reads  the trap is set   it sure is  on those who spent money to see this movie  entrapment really isnt that bad  it is watchable  i would suggest  however  one waits until this is on cable or television to see it  
neg	the first image in  final fantasy  the spirits within  is a computeranimated closeup of a human eye  its a beautiful piece of work  remarkably detailed and quite convincing  when the picture pulls back to reveal the owner of the eye  however  things change  the young woman has mesmerizing hair  although it hangs too artfully  even by movie standards  to be believed  the facial features are more detailed than any computeranimation seen to date  but the result is more reminiscent of a very wellcrafted doll than anything human  she is pretty  but bland  and not nearly expressive enough to come off like a person  all the characters in  final fantasy  are like that  of the core group  the younger white men and women are all athletic  attractive and indistinct  like applicants for a tv reality show  the black man is taller and burlier  and the aging scholar is bald  with wrinkles and a beard  none of them appear to be based on individuals  they all look like the products of general descriptions given a police sketch artist  it gets worse when they talk and move  why is the sarcastic voice of steve buscemi  he of the great twisted face and snaggleteeth  coming out of the mouth of some dreary ken doll  why  for every fluid physical gesture  do we also see herkyjerky puppetstyle motions  more to the point  who decided a fulllength computer animated movie featuring  hyperreal   their term  not mine  humanoids was a good idea   final fantasy  is based on a phenomenally popular video game ive never played  with a story straight out of japanese anime  which more often than not leaves me bored and depressed  if youre a fan of either  please spare me your letters  as i will focus solely on the finished film and not its source materials  with an expressionchallenged cast   final fantasy  mixes turgid action scenes with heaps of mystical shit  the result is ugly  confusing and boring  note  the following reveals the basic plot  if you want to have a fighting chance of making any sense of the movie  i suggest you read it  earth is at war with aliens that appear to feed on human souls  most of our planet is devastated  with humans living in a few protected cities  while the bulk of the survivors focus on military strategies  aki ross  voiced by mingna  and her mentor  dr  sid  donald sutherland   believe in a more organic approach  they operate on the notion  quoting straight from the press kit   that all life forms have signature spirit waves that can be identified and contained  aki and dr  sid collect a series of organic specimens whose spirit signatures combined will form a wave of equal and opposite intensity to the spirit wave of the alien force  the waves will  in effect  cancel each other out and disarm the foreign contagion  they have collected six of the eight key spirits needed to complete their wave  they are on a desperate hunt to find the remaining two spirits before their time runs out   are you still with me  theres only a little more  aki is infected with the alien force  dr  sid has developed a method of confining the contagion and keeping it from killing her  but the defense wall wont hold much longer  already  the alien is communicating with aki through her dreams  aiding aki and dr  sid are the deep eyes  a group of hardasnails types that would have felt at home with the troops in  aliens   capt  gray edwards  alec baldwin  heads the task force that consists of a wise guy  buscemi   a tough woman  peri gilpin  and a gentle giant  ving rhames   throwing a monkey wrench into the plans is the requisite dumb ass  in this case general hein  james woods   who wants to use the zeus cannon to bomb the aliens back to the stone age  even if it destroys earth as well  so there you have it  like most of the anime ive seen  the plot combines apocalyptic settings  lots of shooting and fuzzy spirituality  all wrapped up in a savetheearth bow  but im bored with apocalyptic settings  i understand why so many liveaction films employ them  theyre cheap  but animated films can show anything  so why wallow in an industrial trash heap  the action scenes and shootemups dont satisfy either  the humans move oddly and their facial features are so muted that the talented voice cast cant bring them to life  in fact  their efforts merely emphasize what were missing   aki is especially disappointing  with her lack of expression and flat delivery  she looks and sound like a brunet version of weena  the eloi girl from 1960s  the time machine   drab color choices and aliens that appear to have been created in jello molds sap the pizzazz from the big set pieces  students of computer animation may be fascinated with the technology behind  final fantasy  the spirits within   but i found it subpar across the board   futurama  does more effective battle visuals  the kids in  south park  are far more expressive than these mannequins and any old episode of the contemporary version of  the outer limits  does better doom and gloom scifi  so who needs this  not me  
neg	plot  token director alan smithee steals the only copy of his film  trio  from the studio  after they complete the  final cut  without him  he threatens to burn the film reel if they do not allow him to keep his vision  critique  wow  i really cant remember the last time a movie sucked on so many levels  the  comedy  in this film is pathetic  obvious and dated  oj simpson jokes galore   the plot is uninteresting  boring and bad  the structure of the film is annoying  repetitive and pretentious  the acting is pretty bad  especially jackie chan  who cant act to save his life  the cameos are lame and seem forced  and the ending blows chunks  all in all  this movie believes itself to be a clever  humorous and edgy look behind the closed doors of hollywood  but comes across as a boring  stupid and completely unentertaining piece of shite  i love to see movies about hollywood shenanigans  but this one bites the big one  see it if you like to watch really bad movies  otherwise skip it  because it will just have you hating every star that makes an appearance in it  luckily for us all  this mess only lasts about 80 minutes  and miramax honcho harvey weinstein plays a leadfaced detective  by the way  is there any reason why the studio or the producer couldnt have cut another version of the film by the way of all the filmed stock that was left over  who knows  who cares  this  satire  sucks the bag  little known facts about this film and its stars  ironically  the original director of this film  arthur hiller  also requested his name be taken off the credits and replaced by the dgas alan smithee moniker  this was after the films production company  cinergi pictures  preferred the cut made by producerwriter joe eszterhas to his  the original script of this film included arnold schwarzenegger and bruce willis  eszterhas announced through the media during postproduction that cinergi pictures didnt have the money to pay for soundtrack  he said that he would finance the soundtrack from his own money and asked to submit tracks for it to him  he received 9  200 cds and cassettes from mostly unknown and unsigned artists  listened to all that was sent  at least a couple of tracks from each record  and compiled the soundtrack  this film practically swept the  razzie awards  in 1999  given out to the worst of all movie categories of the year  with no less than the  worst picture  award  the  worst screenplay   joe eszterhas   the  worst supporting actor   joe eszterhas   the  worst new star   joe eszterhas tied with jerry springer  and the  worst original song    i wanna be mike ovitz   as written by joe eszterhas   
neg	plot  a rich guy who doesnt believe in love  orders a mailorder bride for himself  that very evening  the couple is married and fall madly in love soon thereafter  but whats this  one of them might not be the person they are pretending to be  wow    a sin  indeed  critique  easily one of the worst movies that ive seen all year  too long  too boring  too predictable and too ridiculous for anyone interested in watching a good movie  what the hell were they thinking when they made this thing   its no wonder that the film has been sitting on the racks for about a year  this felt like a really bad tv movie of the week  with some nudity stuffed in from time to time  just to wake up the audience  have you ever switched channels and fallen upon one of those ridiculously melodramatic tv movies  one that you just couldnt help but switch back to from time to time  just to make sure that it wasnt part of some sick joke  well  this movie is exactly like that  only it isnt a joke  it isnt on tv and you are asked to pay money to see it   i say again    what the shite were they thinking  okay  so where do i start  first of all  the trailer of this film gives away the movies main plot twist  the betrayal  so for the first half hour of the film  youre basically just sitting there  watching these two  lovers  go through the motions until the  betrayal  occurs  whoopee  big surprise  second of all  angelina jolie is horribly miscast in this part  why  well  its like this  not for one second do you ever believe that she is not a nasty backstabbing woman  i mean  its like all of those people who complained about jack nicholson being psycho from the start of the shining  well  the same goes here  every look in jolies eyes screams  psycho   then of course  you have the case of the  patsy  husband  a man who just cant seem to figure out anything in time  i mean    how boring is that for the audience  youre watching this guy screw up time after time after time  and somehow  were supposed to feel sorry or care about this dude  no  thanks  and if we dont care about him  and we really dont care about her  shes a beeyatch and as confused as we are about her actual motivations in the film   who the hell are we supposed to care about in this film  well  ill tell you  the only thing that i was worrying about the whole way through this picture was whether or not id actually fall asleep before the end credits rolled  no suspense  no chemistry between the leads  no real love or passion  no sense of surprise  plenty of plot holes for everyone and an extra moronic ending  so why am i even giving this film a rating of three points  well  its actually pretty simple  i liked the locations in the movie and the groovy score  but my primary reason for slipping three notches onto this bedpost is for the gratuitous shots of jolies boobies  thats two points right there   and another one for antonios ass  hairless  just for the record   everything else in this movie was pointless  boring and just plain stupid  try imagining a softporn movie    but without the plot  thats pretty much what youve got here  a low point in the careers of both stars  oops  i almost forgot to mention the crappy dialogue    god oh mighty    make it stop   wheres joblo coming from  american psycho  910   cruel intentions  810   eyes wide shut  610   fatal attraction  810   playing by heart  710   under suspicion  710   what lies beneath  810   what women want  410   whipped  710  
neg	not a great twelve months for either of the principals from this movie  earlier this year  nora ephron wrote and produced one of the years least likeable  comedies  called hanging up  featuring a bunch of annoying women  ironically  lisa kudrow played one in that film as well  who barely have time to care about anyone but themselves  ick    real sweet stuff  but her little unsuccessful project was nothing compared to what john travolta went through earlier this summer  with a film entitled battlefield earth  i seemed to be the only person on this planet who somehow appreciated the film  even if it was on a  cheese  factor  as everybody  and i mean everybody else  pretty much classified the movie as one of the worst disasters of all time  yipes    another beauty  so what happens when you put these two people in the same room and come out with a movie costarring the everversatile lisa kudrow  uhhhm  you guessed it    not much  plot  in order to escape major financial difficulties  a local weatherman hooks up with his ballpicking lotto girlfriend and rigs the state lottery  but as more and more people find out about their scheme  more and more people demand a part of their winnings  and more and more problems arise  critique  simply stated  i didnt laugh once during this entire picture  for a comedy  it offered me a few smiles  a bunch of nincompoops as characters  a miscast john travolta hamming it up and lisa kudrow  in what can only described as a  sluttier  version of her character of phoebe on tvs  friends   this film was not as disastrous as i thought it would be  but it was pretty close  thankfully  the clips of travolta dressed up in goofy outfits  dancing as the weatherman were left in the films trailer  and not in this final cut  and not unlike the worst movie of the year so far  beautiful  this film also managed to feature many unsympathetic  idiotic and just plain irritating characters in its cast  foremost was travoltas character  who declined to give us any reason to care for him once in the entire movie  and for me  the casting choice of john travolta for this role was just plain wrong  he didnt fit the part  i just saw him in get shorty the other day and thought about how perfect he was for that role  a cool  calculating roughneck with a certain hip  suave  je ne sais quoi   in this film  he looks like hes trying to be funny  trying to be bad  trying to be good  were not supposed to be able to notice that  and when we do  at least in my case  i consider it a wrong choice in casting  add that to lisa kudrow  boring us with yet another one of her patented  dumb blonde  routines  but this time  dressed in sexier outfits  michael rapaport  stretching one small acting muscle to play the guy who isnt quite up at the same speed level as everyone else  and a truckload of empty comedic bullet shells  and youve got yourself an extremely quiet audience anticipating punch lines that never quite materialize  the only real good thing that i could say about this film is that its story was actually halfinteresting and never really bored me  i also liked michael moores perverted cousin character  and i loved  and i say it again  loved the character that bill pullman played  give this dude his own movie  he played a lazy cop  a man who tries everything not to do any real work  he fakes injuries to get off duty  tries to avoid arrest situations so that he wont have to fill out any forms    now theres a base of humor  sadly  the filmmakers decided to bring him into play with only about half an hour left in the film  and theres not much else i can say about this movie  folks  on the whole  it was lame  included a slew of unlikable characters fiddling around in a pool of unfunny lines  and very little of interest for any target audience  but get somebody to write up a movie featuring that lazy cop played by pullman and im there  
neg	the stereotypical american male has an undeniable fetishistic love of sports cars  producer jerry bruckheimer plays upon that attraction with a movie so loaded with testosterone and laced titillatingly with shot after frenetic shot of powerful muscle cars  sleek foreign road huggers and iconic speed machines that many males will leave the theater in an orgasmic haze  gone is 60 seconds is an orgy of maleness gone horribly awry  cage is legendary retired car thief  memphis raines  dont you love cute movie names   who must call upon his time worn skills to save his thickheaded brother  ribisi  from being killed  seems a murderous crime boss  eccleston  with a fetish for wood  insert your own joke  hired brother kip to steal a ridiculous amount of expensive  exotic autos  fifty cars  to be exact  poor kip screws the pooch and bungles the job badly  if the cars arent delivered in three days  bossman has a casket carved out just for kip  literally  if only someone could save him  hmmmm   wonder what memphis is doing  in order to give the film some emotional heft  there are several subplots designed to tug at our heartstrings or give us the thrill of    yawn  excuse me  dramatic tension  shadowing memphis is an old law enforcement foe  lindo  whos looking to send memphis away  will he catch him  theres old flame sway  jolie   who had her heart broken by memphis years ago  will they get back together  shortsighted  thrill seeker kip idolizes his brother  yet resents him for moving away from the family  will they reconnect  raines old mentor  duvall  has long since left the life of crime  will memphis get him finally caught as he pulls him back into the life  one more time  can you answer all these questions correctly in 2 seconds without seeing the film first  ill bet you can  following the opening credits  which fill you in on the accomplishments of the raines family through a montage of old photos  we was taken full throttle into the splendor that is memphis  hes first shown living the good life teaching young children to drive gocarts  in a later scene  as misfit brother kip knowingly tells memphis he has the stolen car situation under control  all the while making breakfast  a metaphor is made of shakespearean proportions  just as a pan of grease flares up with kip clueless to how to quell it  big brother memphis calmly and efficiently throws some salt on it  looks like everything might turn out alright after all  you know this because the music swells on the crest of violins  thats about as strong as the characterization gets  which is a shame  bruckheimer has a real talent for loading his movies with an obscene amount of talent given the task at hand  monumentally underused jolie portrays an empty headed sexpot whose idea of sex revolves around cars and memphis  or maybe its just the cars  duvall trots out his ornery  but sweet old codger outfit  im sure hes still laughing at taking a paycheck for this one  lindo projects a warm hearted  but tightly focused detective that almost transcends the material  the biggest waste of resources is vinnie jones  who plays a mute accomplice of memphis  without saying a word  he is easily the most charismatic person in the movie  like a blast of nitrous oxide  he attacks each scene with a straightforward zeal  too bad his minutes onscreen are so few  somehow  bruckheimer manages to attract top hollywood acting talent to high concept  poorly written movies  gussies up the film with lots of gold hues and pleasingly stylized action and they sell like proverbial hotcakes  every time something clever happens its counterbalanced by something so overtly wrong that it jerks you back into realizing youre watching a movie  theres a innovative usage of black lighting that goes from being a novelty to a part of the plot  its counterbalanced by an extremely feeble attempt at humor by having an asian american repeatedly failing a drivers test  imagine the yuks  theres a segment where one of the thieves shows another his cool fake fingerprint trick  its countered by the lame semisubplot of a car being stolen with a bunch of heroin in the trunk  the ramifications are never explored  then theres the ridiculousness of the many cops who actually shoot at fleeing cars  not only is it stupid  but its against the law  this is a movie made of pretty  but tepid car chases strung together by just enough character interaction to move the plot along  gone in 60 seconds aptly describes how long itll take for this marginally entertaining  but empty film to leave your memory  
neg	first and foremost i think this movie comes to grief at the hands of the pg rating its been given  for those of us who havent read the james lee burke novel that heavens prisoners is based on  do not rabidly go out and buy tickets to movies featuring the combined talents of alec baldwin and eric roberts  feel vaguely depressed by the notion of swamps  gangsters with louisiana accents  plots  subplots  more plots  and well  really just want to see teri hatcher naked  this is one movie youre going to worry the price of admission over  hopeful still  well  let me share my moment of sheer panic  and then the cold enervation of the big letdown when a semirobed hatcher purrs to alec baldwin   what do you think of my butterfly    butterfly   i asked myself  what butterfly   and then it hit me    the scene had been snipped  damn you  godless pg rating  show us her butterfly   we want to see the goddamn butterfly    so    no naked teri hatcher  forget about that  okay  now    heavens prisoners is about exalchoholic excop dave robicheaux  alec baldwin  whos trying to discover life anew running a bait shop and boat hire business with his loving  downtoearth wife annie  kelly lynch   everything dull  but hunky dory until a plane carrying illegal immigrants crashes almost ontop of the couple while theyre on their boat  the plane nosedives into the water and sinks  but from its wreckage robicheaux rescues a little pixiefaced salvadoran girl whom he and his wife immediately decide to adopt  what they dont realise is that the planes pilot was also a drug dealer  and that the plane had been sabotaged by the latters erstwhile colleagues  when robicheaux discovers this  he predictably  against the advice of his wife  a wellmeaning dea agent  and two gangsters who rough him up  begins poking his nose where it dont belong  we know that the man deserves all the misery hes going to get  the question now is whether or not you want to be dragged along for the ride through a tedious  meandering yet utterly suspenseless plot with an unlovable hero as your guide  as dave robicheaux  alec baldwin is fat    no seriously  this is not the svelte  thinking mans hero of the hunt for red october  it is an outofshape guy who doesnt look too good in a rooftop chasing scene  hes also unconvincing in the movies dramatic moments  acting with what as far as i can tell is a steven segallike economy of expression  threequarters of the way through the show  while youre probably waiting for the next scene in a bar where robicheaux contemplates succumbing to the temptation of the whiskey bottle  getting drunk and beating up someone or getting beaten up  youll want to beat on him a little yourself  on the other hand  mary stuart masterson  some kind of wonderful  fried green tomatoes  benny  joon  cast as a downandout stripper who has her fingers broken is quite a breath of fresh air  with just the right mix of cynicism  warmth  insecurity and humour to be the movies only endearing character  eric roberts as bubba rocque  always believable as the womanabusing bad guy who knows how to box  see final analysis  coincidentally also directed by phil joanou  is believable here as the womanabusing bad guy who knows how to box  and lest we forget teri hatchers role in all this  this being her rather wellpublicised paid vacation from playing lois lane on tvs  adventures of lois  clark     she is totally ridiculous as rocques manipulative and seductive cajun wife  coming across as devious as a mildly disgruntled au pair whos trying to get back at an employer who hasnt been giving her enough days off  its probably safe to say that her day job beckons  and at the end of our day  none of this is really worth 2 hrs and 12 minutes of our personal misery  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	its amazing how a comedian can have the some of the funniest standup around but completely fall flat in the movies  take adam sandler  on the basis of his first two cds   theyre all gonna laugh at you   and  what the hell happened to me     hes the best thing to hit comedy since robin williams  but when you put him in front of a camera  it just isnt the same  i kind of enjoyed happy gilmore and thought that it warranted a marginal recommendation  but his latest film  the waterboy is about as funny as a root canal  seriously  im willing to wager than there were more laughs in saving private ryan than there are here  in fact  i found this movie to be more depressing than comedic  the first half hour generated not one smile in me  with its scenes of emotional abuse towards adams character of bobby boucher not only by the cruel football players  but also by his very disturbed mother  kathy bates  what is the world coming to    granted  after the film gets rolling  there are a few mild chuckles throughout  im even willing to admit that it actually had me laughing once or twice   but not nearly enough to sustain the waterboy for its nearly hour and a half running time  youre all familiar with the plot because youve seen it at least a million times before  everyone picks on the hero until he shows a hidden talent and leads the underdog team to victory over the champions  in the process not only winning the respect of his teammates but also getting the woman he loves  and believe me  im not giving anything away by saying that sandlers team wins  if you would actually feel any degree of suspense watching this movie  then god be with you  the only things that keep this bomb from getting the big banana are the winning performances from henry winkler as the insecure coach and the severely underrated fairuza balk as bobbys love interest  i mean  they should be lending their talents to some loftier purpose  but they do extremely well with what they are given here  kudos to both of them  my advice to adam is to try and follow in the footsteps of veteran comedians like williams and steve martin  who made a very smooth and successful transition from stage to screen  rely more on actual comedy rather than strange voices and rude noises to make people laugh  or maybe even show what dramatic talent he might have  like jim carrey did with the recent truman show  with the obvious and considerable talent that he possesses  he just cant keep going on like this  
neg	according to popular film opinion  a films greatness is determined by time  take for example  casablanca   great film  even today  its still as powerful as it was when it came out and still as romantic and tragic  another example would be  star wars   which had a very  very healthy box office gross despite the fact that we had all seen it about 3 billion times before  but as i rewatched  independence day  when it came out on video after being the number one hit of 1996  i kinda felt like it wasnt as cool as when i had first seen it  i had liked it when i saw it the first time     was my original view  and basically saw it as a good  escape film   but when i rewatched it  i felt cheated  thus  the curse of the  event film    independence day  is like that kid who come out of nowhere and makes everybody happy at once  except for a couple kids  the critics  in this situation   but after a while  this kid becomes annoying and you just wait for the next one  well  this kid is the  event film  in my little analogy  and when i rewatched  independence day   not only did it not look cooler at all on the big screen  but i felt insulted the whole time  there are too many gaping craters in the plot and you just arent sure if its comedy or hokey drama  one scene  youll see a hilariously nebbish scene between jeff goldblum and judd hirsch  the next youll see a bunch of military uptight guys walking around  saying corny lines  the worst is a scene between brent spiner and bill pullman where spiner is sayinig something innocently funny but is barked like a junkyard dog by bill pullman who gives him the most unitentionally funniest speech since the end of  glen or glenda   now this annoying kids problem is that in the process of trying to make everyone like him all at once  he shows he has no balls  and  independence day  has no balls  it plays it safe everywhere  it throws in a ton of action that is borrowed from other superior films  the chase scene between the alien ship and will smith is straight out of  star wars   i mean  isnt that devils den  and the aliens are about as anticlimactic as demi moores breasts in  striptease   theyre these octopus men  boring freaking octopus men  i mean  come on  the aliens in  2001  were more interesting and you didnt even see them  basically the plot is straight from a bmovie from the 50s  aliens come to earth and we wonder if theyre hostile or peaceful  okay  its an interesting topic  but its not handled greatly  now they arent and somehow a computer geek  jeff goldblum  figure out theyre using our satellites as a countdown to destruction  yep  these aliens are not only heavily armed  theyre stupid too  they also use the same kind of computer as we do  but that comes about later  the president  bill pullman   whos under attack for being a wimp  decides this would be a nice time to be belligerent  and he decides hell stay in the white house which the aliens have covered  i dont care if its bob freaking dole in the white house  get him out of there  i dont care if you have to inject him with sodium pentathol  just get him out of there  later on  hes stupid and wants to fly in the attack on a big alien ship  i think its time for impeachment for this guy  hes more senile than reagan on pot  then theres a cocky pilot  will smith  who is the only person to survive the counterattack on the second day and becomes moses in leading his children to the elusive area 51  the films only sign of being brave   his girlfriends a stripper sharing a subplot with  striptease  in that she has to do it for her son  come on  she has a fighter pilot boyfriendsoontobe fiance  i think she can quit that job and get a more respectable job at long john silvers  shes also the few  the proud  the lucky to survive the igniting of l  a   as well as her dog  who narrowly survives   there are some bright spots  they tossed in enough old film homages to keep me laughing  the best one is when jeff goldblum  nicely named david  turns on his computer and a picture of hal comes up and says   good morning  dave   and they even played r  e  m  s  its the end of the world as we know it  and i feel fine  at the beginning  and judd hirsch steals the film by actually acting great  hes a stereotype  but i just loved the man anyway   but there are no real subtle comic moments  will gets way too many oneliners and he has no one to play off of  execept jeff towards the end  and the two do great   as i said  this film has no balls  it is just aiming for a crowd pleaser and thats what it is  but after a couple months  we all move on to the next  event  film while intaking little films and a couple indy ones for good measure  but at least the indy ones last for a lifetime  this ones short on batteries  
neg	by trying to satisfy every kind of viewer  its possible that sphere may end up pleasing no one  action lovers will be bored by what they will see as an interminably boring setup  audience members who crave more intellectual fare will be disgusted by the films sudden collapse into mindless storytelling and by the ending  which is an insulting copout  somewhere out there  maybe theres a small cadre of filmgoers who will appreciate spheres dubious charms  but im not among them  i sincerely hope the novel is better than the movie  i no longer read anything by either michael crichton or john grisham   because if the finished motion picture product is anything to go by  its hard to understand why the rights were optioned  sphere is the kind of first class mess that only a topline director with an alist cast can create  with expectations high  and how could they not be  considering that another barry levinsondustin hoffman collaboration  the excellent wag the dog  is still playing in theaters    something this bad cant help but look even worse  the last time a bigname  bigbudget film displayed this level of ineptitude was last years batman  robin  and everyone knows how that movie was received  sphere starts out a little like an amalgamation of contact and james camerons the abyss  but  somewhere along the way  it collapses into the cellar with another recent science fiction effort  event horizon  science and philosophy  which are used to good effect during spheres first hour  give way to mindless  confusing action sequences  attempts at characterization fall apart  intelligent writing  which is evident early on  is replaced by hackneyed drivel  special effects take over as the plotline devolves into incoherent silliness  but all that is just in preparation for the ending  which is inexcusably awful  this is the timehonored deus ex machina device used to its worst effect  i left the theater feeling cheated by the way crichton and his screenwriters had chosen to end the film  there is some promise  but its all in the setup  were introduced to norman goodman  dustin hoffman   a psychologist who once wrote a 35  000 report for the government about what to do in the event that a crashed space ship is discovered  when one is found in the middle of nowhere  1000 feet below the surface of the pacific ocean  norman is called in to be part of the welcoming committee  on the team with him are beth halperin  sharon stone   a biochemist who was once his student and lover  harry adams  samuel l  jackson   a mathematician who earned his first doctorate at the age of 18  ted fielding  liev schreiber   an astrophysicist who is awed by the opportunity to explore alien technology  and harold barnes  peter coyote   the government operative in charge of the mission  together  the five descend into the bowels of the ocean  where they rendezvous with a temporary sea base on the ocean floor from which they will attempt to make first contact  for a while  sphere had me fooled into thinking it was going to take an astute approach to the manmeetsalien situation  the overall scenario is not without promise and several plot twists  such as the revelation that the enormous craft is actually an american space ship  apparently from the future  offer intriguing possibilities  then  right around the onehour mark  thats the time to sneak into the theater next door and check out whatevers left of titanic   the virtually nonstop action begins  and  once it starts  the script becomes superfluous  this might be acceptable if director levinson generated some legitimate tension  but  instead  he relies on loud  overbearing music  strange camera angles  and quick cuts to make things  exciting   additionally  because none of the characters are wellformed  a common failing in anything penned by crichton  whos more interested in technology than people   viewers dont develop much of a rooting interest  it makes sitting through sphere a frustrating and pointless experience  what about that alist cast  not surprisingly  the most energetic performance is given by samuel l  jackson  but his harry isnt a person  hes a walking plot device spouting occasionallywitty dialogue  dustin hoffman isnt lively or particularly good  its ironic that this  which may be his worst work in a decade  has arrived in theaters on the heels of his best actor nomination  for wag the dog   sharon stone and peter coyote are both flat  their characters exhibit little evidence of emotion  automatons would have been as effective  then theres queen latifa  who  despite getting fifth billing in the credits  ahead of liev schreiber  who boasts at least quadruple her screen time   has less than a handful of lines and almost nothing to do other than inflate the body count  i like to think that levinson and hoffman  recognizing how uninspired this movie was likely to be  chose to make wag the dog as a sort of penance  the lowbudget picture was filmed during spheres lengthy preproduction phase   if thats the case  forgiveness is granted  im less inclined to look favorably upon crichton  although he has a few enjoyable titles on his resume  jurassic park and the levinsondirected disclosure come to mind   even if his novel was butchered in the adaptation process  crichtons credit as a producer disallows him absolution  he was a willing participant in a creative travesty  no wonder sphere is being released in february  in the midst of the early years cinematic wasteland  it deserves no better than to get sunk by the unstoppable titanic  which should plow sphere under on its way to a ninthconsecutive weekend atop the box office heap  
neg	shakespeare in love is quite possibly the most enjoyable period piece ever made for the silver screen  it is both humorous and romantic in a very unique blend that can successfully entertain any audience for the nearly 2 and and a half hours that it occupies  that is  however  not to say it is a good film  a quality production or anything of the sort  shakespeare in love is an incredibly cheap illusion that truly pans out to be very little quality or original work  the finest sign of this may be the plot  in looking back  there seems to be little more than a thin  predictable plot that is only carried by the portrayal of people that we revere in our history books  philip henslowe  geoffrey rush  owns 1 of the 2 theatres in london  it is at the peak of the royal theatre era  and queen elizabeth  the recently damed judi dench  by  appropriately enough  queen elizabeth ii  is very much a fan  however  to directly quote the film  he has  cash flow problems   through a long set of events  it becomes apparent that his entire life is dependent on his next show doing well enough to pay off his debts  so  mr  henslowe employs the young playwright  william shakespeare  joseph fiennes  to pen a comedic production  however  the young writer has a severe case of writers block  and blames it on the fact that his love life is struggling as well  he has the title in mind  romeo and ethel  the pirates daughter  even that joke loses steam after a while  but cant seem to put words to paper  then  as only hollywood could have it  through a long set of twisted events  he meets viola de lesseps  gwyneth paltrow  and falls madly in love  thus curing his writers block  there are many other little issues that mr  henslowe encounters  but they all pan out to be much ado about nothing  the first realization that i reached in watching this film is that one of the messages given is that a show should not always be credited to its author  ironically  that couldnt be truer here  the great scenes that will sweep audiences away are not the scenes that fit in the plot  but rather the recitals of shakespearean lines by actors playing actors  one of the most breathtaking moments in this film does not involve the character of shakespeare or queen elizabeth or even the theatre owner  but rather 2 young children named romeo and juliet who chose to end their own lives in the name of love  so it is that i am offended by the fact that marc norman and tom stoppard are credited with writing this production  and the name william shakespeare is no were to be seen beyond a characters name in the credits  the acting in this entertaining yet poor film is often thin to the point that it would not have survived even in queen elizabeths theatres  joseph fiennes may just be the worst of fall though  he is tragically unbelievable and comically bad  gwyneth paltrow is little more than satisfactory in her lead position as well  however  the supporting cast does almost save the day  geoffrey rush is nothing short of incredible and judi dench is breathtaking  they both seem to have shown that as proven actors they could survive in this film of weak links  you will also find a very good performance by ben affleck in his first real role since good will hunting  no  armageddon doesnt qualify as real acting    and rupert everett was cute in his small part as well  but not even they could save this sad excuse for a film  so it remains plagued by poor performances  when all is said and done  shakespeare in love is only worth the trip if you want to be entertained  however  as the film so kindly pointed out  entertainment may be fun  but it isnt necessarily quality  and this certainly isnt quality  perhaps this may be best compared to a john grisham novel  as a dear friend of mine often does compare things to his work  simply put  it is farfetched  poorly crafted  but very entertaining  
neg	at times  youd think edtv would be an entertaining film  i mean  who can resist the story of your average joe becomming a celebrity by having his life filmed every minute of every day  but this average joe  ed perkuny   matthew mcconaughay   is a sappy  lifeless creation that wanders around  trying to solve everyones problems and settle his own  mcconaughay is awful  especially because he is trying to pull off his usual hollywood charm with a 3 week beard and torn jeans  frankly  he had more charm in the devestating flop the newton boys  he overacts in every way  his overexaggerant body language  obsession with kissing women every second he gets the chance  and that cliched scene where he loses someone in his life  and drops to his knee and cries  the rest of the cast is very good  especially martin landau  as eds stepfather   who plays a cute role as the closetodeath old guy that makes all the witty comments  jenna elfman is good   but a little overemotional   her main problem is that she keeps getting sucked into bad films  i  e  cant hardly wait  and krippendorfs tribe  woody harrelson  as eds brother ray  does his usual eggheaded role  with his comic wit as well  he wrote a book entitled   my brother pissed on me    elizabeth hurley is perfectly cast as the easy slut  and dennis hopper  in a quick cameo as eds biological father  is a nice choice  ironically coming after the role he turned down as christof in the truman show   ellen degeneres stood out as the executive who  after awhile  decides the show must not go on much to the opposite of the head exec  rob reiners opinion  i hate to compare this film to the truman show  but the fact is  i was ashamed to see this movie  it felt that i had dropped from college to kindergarten after seeing truman and ed  edtv had no real wit or genius  it was typical hollywood  extracting the tv part of the movie  you have the simple plotline  man steals brothers girlfriend  girlfriend leaves town  man gets new slut girlfriend to feel like he can move on  slut breaks up with him  real girlfriend comes back  and voila  you have a romance  i got so restless during this movie  i almost walked out  the only reason it doesnt drop below a  c  grade is because of the fine supporting performances  ad2am  i almost lost my nose    and i like it  i like breathing through it   jack nicholson  chinatown 
neg	five years after his directorial debut based on stephen kings writings called the shawshank redemption  910   writerdirector frank darabont returns to the big screen with another prison film based on the famous scribblings of stephen king  unlike the latter film  this one is a big  long  laborious bore  plot  a sevenfoot death row inmate is discovered to have secret healing powers  critique  this film is slow  drawnout  boring  uninteresting  unexciting  predictable and topped with a couple of onedimensional  evil  characters  its only positive attribute lies in its actors who all do credible jobs and its message of hope and belief in miracles  the real miracle of my night was the fact that i did not fall asleep during this straightforward  unimpressive film about a guy with special powers who we never truly understand or care about  of course  much like all other death row cell blocks  this one is filled with decent inmates who all happen to be  misunderstood   except for one cookiecutter crazy guy who is evil personified  and lets not forget all the guards on death row  who also happen to be angels from the heaven above  except for one cookiecutter crazy guard who is also evil personified  and is there any reason why there are about six guards when there appears to be no more than three inmates      am i supposed to identify with anyone in this film  or even more importantly  am i supposed to give a rats ass about anyone in this film  well  if i was  i sure missed that boat  because the only thing that i ended up caring about during this entire picture was the obscene amount of fat that tom hanks has been able to burrow under his loose chin  furthermore  there is absolutely no reason in the world why director frank darabont needed to take three hours and ten minutes out of anyones life to present this story  in fact  the story is empty within itself  i truly did not get anything out of the film other than the fact that there is a guy on death row who has special powers to heal  and we are left wondering if he should still be executed or not  wow  how interesting  the plots utter predictability is also at fault here with one guess as to whom is to get healed by the gentle monster in this film  we are told that one certain lady has a tumor early on in the movie   whip out those thinking caps  kids  hmmm  and i wonder what will happen to those two cookiecutter  evil  guys who have nothing in their system but hate and negativity  hmmmm  now think hard here  boys and girls  what a crock  i am guessing that this film was supposed to be some threehour exercise in spirituality  but unfortunately for me  it was neither spiritual or the least bit engaging  in fact  it was one big bore  i didnt see the point of the movie  i didnt see the point of the story and i certainly didnt see the point in tom hanks big doublechin  all in all  a bad movie starring some great actors doing solid work  especially michael clarke duncan as the man of the hour  john coffey  give that man an award or something  
neg	synopsis  a small town thug convinces a dimwitted highschool student to spy on his girlfriend  who is babysitting three unruly kids for their alcoholic parents on a friday night  while this is going on  the thug  the father  the boyfriend  and a kid reaching the onset of puberty all have fantasies about the babysitter  comments  to say this movie is bad would be quite an understatement  im not sure what writer and director ferland was hoping to accomplish with the babysitter  suspense  family drama  humor  erotica  elements of each of these genres exist in the film  yet it fails to successfully achieve any of them  instead  the babysitter is a dull  lifeless movie which manages to bore and ultimately irritate its viewers  i suppose this film could have been watchable if it werent for the fact that the characters are universally unappealing  alicia silverstone is completely wasted playing jennifer  the babysitter  her character has absolutely no depth at all  and her sole purpose in the movie is to be the object of the other characters fantasies  everyone else in the film seems to be in a competition to see who can stoop to the lowest level by the time the film ends  the parents are alcoholics who become increasingly obnoxious as the movie proceeds  the father  played by j  t  walsh  fantasizes about the babysitter  the mother fantasizes about her husbands best friend  none of these fantasy sequences  trust me  are things that need to be seen  but we see them anyway  complete with cheesy  makeout saxophone music  the thug  in the meantime  proves that hes evil through his annoying habit of smashing halfempty beer bottles all of a sudden and for no apparent reason  the most absurd character  however  is the babysitters boyfriend who seems catatonically braindead  the thug  in a manipulative  iagolike manner  though he doesnt really need to try hard   manages to talk the boyfriend into bingedrinking  smoking grass  running away from cops  and playing peeping tom on his own girlfriend in a matter of minutes  incredible   of course  the boyfriends original plan for the evening was  try not to laugh  to sit in an empty diner and read catcher in the rye by j  d  salinger   if the goal of the babysitter was to be suspenseful  then it fails  there are surprisingly few tense moments in this film  and nearly all of them come at the final minute  by that time  however  the audience is so tired of the inane characters that no one truthfully cares what happens to any of them  no suspense occurs in the dream sequences either because every single one of them is obviously a dream sequence from its inception  if the goal of the babysitter was to be humorous  then it also fails  i found nothing even remotely funny about the boozing parents who seemed  at times  to be played for laughs  if the goal of the babysitter was to be dramatic  then  once again  it fails  the characters are onedimensional and uninteresting  finally  if the goal of the babysitter was to be titillating  the type of film destined to be played ad infinitum on hbo at 2 in the morning   then it fails as well  the dream sequences arent erotic  they are too brief and  outside of one very short scene  contain no nudity  i cant completely trash this movie  the first 10 minutes or so vaguely resemble an interesting film  and the conclusion sports a halfway decent fistfight  the other 79 minutes  though  are a drag  silverstones character  at the end of the movie  turns to her boyfriend and asks  what were you thinking   i asked myself the same question  having spent 99 cents renting this turkey  
neg	working in the motion picture industry must be a constant source of frustration for a frontline african american actress like jada pinkett smith  despite being one of the freshest talents available  pinkett smith has often been relegated to playing thankless supporting parts  a low down dirty shame  the nutty professor   the problem is  of course  that there arent many good roles available for black women  take away the likes of waiting to exhale  set it off  soul food  and eves bayou  and all thats left is a chance to be someones girlfriend  a local whore  or a murder victim  as a result  for pinkett smiths first opportunity atop the marquee  she is stuck in a stupid  formulaic romantic comedy with the unpromising title of woo  actually  woo  the latest directorial effort from daisy v  s  mayer  party girl   could have been worse than it is  the film offers a few funny  albeit juvenile  moments and the onscreen relationship between pinkett smiths woo and tommy davidsons tim is appealing on those rare occasions when the two arent forced to play it dumb for the sake of an endless barrage of cheap gags  unfortunately  huge portions of the movie are insulting to the intelligence of anyone with a tripledigit i  q  the situations are painfully contrived  the main characters are lifted right out of sitcoms  and the supporting players are so incredibly stupid that i wondered whether they all participated in some kind of  free lobotomy  lab experiment  woo is a spontaneous  energetic young woman who has been looking for love in all the wrong places  her latest relationship  with a testosteroneoverdosed drugdealer  came to an abrupt end when she refused to wear a beeper  now  her transvestitemedium friend celestrial  girlina  predicts that shes about to meet mr  right  and that hell be a virgo  later that day  woo is given an opportunity to go out on a blind date with tim  a shy man with a penchant for neatness and order  who just happens to be a virgo  its not love at first sight  however  things get off to a rocky start when tim makes an awkward pass  and they get even worse when the pair arrives at a swanky restaurant to enjoy a  quiet  dinner  in the onehundred year history of motion pictures  there have been a ton of bad  white  movies about mismatched lovers  so i suppose its only fair that we get a  black  effort of the same low caliber  as in all romantic comedies  we know from the beginning that woo and tim are going to end up together  the question is  are their courtship rituals entertaining  in a good entry to the genre  the audience becomes caught up in the love story  no matter how familiar it is  in woo  the constant reliance upon unfunny  moronic humor sinks the project  for those who enjoy spotting continuity gaffes  theres a huge one in woo involving a corvette with a broken window that miraculously repairs itself  added to that is the mystery of how the car looses its top   sadly  thats one of the films most enjoyable sequences  and the entertainment value is entirely unintentional  despite exuding charm from every pore  theres little that pinkett smith and davidson can do to save their characters or david c  johnsons script  since it misses the mark by so much  a better name for woo might have been whoops  
neg	there is a scene early in jakob the liar that hints at how much better it could have been  the scene is set in a jewish ghetto in poland circa 1944  where a onetime cafe proprietor named jakob heym is walking resolutely through the streets  fists stuffed into coat pockets  to one side of him  residents scavenge for food in the street  to the other side  german troops beat a group of jews  jakob  however  never stops moving  its an efficient  effective setup for the character  who is clearly nobodys idea of a hero at the outset  he is a man who has responded to the horror of his surroundings by withdrawing from them  excising his moral peripheral vision  the setup is critical because fate will turn jakob into a reluctant savior  after a visit to a german commandants office and a moment alone with a turnedon radio  jakob learns that russian troops are quite near  when he brings this first news of the war in years to his fellow jews  they become convinced that he must have a radio  which is a punishable offense in the ghetto  the good news brings hope to the ghetto  the everyday specter of suicide vanishes  a private man of limited creativity finds himself burdened with creating stories of russian military progress just to keep his neighbors alive  this promising story of an ordinary person doing the extraordinary is burdened from the outset by casting  the  ordinary person  in question  jakob heym  is played by robin williams  i am of the depressing opinion that williams is growing less assured as an actor in his  serious  roles with every passing year  compare his dramatic scenes in the world according to garp and moscow on the hudson with what dreams may come or patch adams  and see how much more mannered he has become  or  at the very least  how much less sensible at choosing material   jakob the liar depends on the notion that jakob has to struggle to craft his fictions  but williams always looks like hes struggling not to craft them  when he improvises a radio address by winston churchill for ailing 10yearold orphan lina  hannah taylor gordon   he seems relieved that he can finally get wacky  oh yes  and then theres that little girl  some viewers will undoubtedly consider the heros fanciful stories for a young charge too reminiscent of life is beautiful  but those scenes arent problematic because theyre familiar  theyre problematic because theyre jarring and distracting  introducing a cutesy relationship into a film that shouldnt have been about cutesy relationships  jakobs character arc may be about his willingness to act for the benefit of others  but there are plenty of others without poor little lina  every scene with her feels contrived  pulling jakob the liar away from its central story of hope coming to a previously hopeless people  it is a pleasant surprise to find that jakob the liar is a much grittier production than you might expect from a hollywoodized holocaust  combining the weighty subject matter with dark humor in some effective ways  director peter kassovitz  working from jurek beckers novel  crafts some nice scenes between jakob and the other townspeople  and draws solid performances from armin muellerstahl  as a oncerevered doctor  and bob balaban  as a barber drifting into depression   there are just too many things going on that prove distracting  whether its the sketchy romanctic angle involving liev schreiber as an earnest former prizefighter  or williams incongrous presence  or a sweet but utterly irrelevant little girl  jakob the liar deals with too delicate a subject for such fumbling  and has too compelling a central character to waste  and after one wonderful early scene  you can see the film wasted and fumbled away  
neg	first troy beyer wrote the critically panned  b  a  p  s   now she makes her directorial debut  writing  directing  and starring in this subpar film about women talking about sex  though not without redeeming qualities  this film is bad  the basic story follows three single friends  jazz  beyer   lena  randi ingerman   and michelle  paget brewster   in their search for love  jazz has an idea for a local talk show  it would feature women talking about sex and dating  she and her friends make a demo tape of interviews with the women of miami  the film itself is sprinkled with these real interviews throughout  both as part of the plot and as commentary on the situations of the main characters  the fact that they are real provides a refreshing break from some of the more melodramatic moments in the film  there are several moments of bad acting  corny dialogue  and emotional overextension  in a lowbudget independent film from a firsttime director  these faults can sometimes be forgiven  if the screenplay is fresh and solid  that is not the case here  the script suffers from random plot developments  there are four or five of these turns in the plot  each one raising the question  where did that come from   at one point  a character has a lifelong reconciliation with her mother  we are supposed to be moved  but since the scene is completely unledup to  we really dont care if she and her mother get along  weve never seen her mother before  we never see her again  who cares  whats worse  these sudden developments are supposed to engage our sympathy  at another point  a character announces that she cant have children  apparently  this is devastating  we wouldnt know this because she never talked about having kids before  but we are nevertheless expected to be devastated for her  the scene feels like an afterthought  its emotion manipulative and shallow  these scenes grow worse and worse  culminating in an absurd climax  two scenes were played with such overwhelming melodrama that i found myself laughing  one scene is a lovers spat between two minor characters  the other has the main characters expressing their copious grief by cleaning house in wails of despair and clouds of ajax  thinking on these scenes  it is hard for me to admit that the film has redeeming qualities  but it does  first  it is original  we men often wonder what women talk about when they are alone in groups  and i imagine this film gives me a pretty good idea  its something i dont think has been the subject of a film  second  the interviews of the miami women are sincere  taken together  they form a mosaic picture of miami beachwalkers and bistro diners  the mosaic is made of sound bites and stereotypes  but each tile is some womans real experience  neither the picture of women  nor their picture of men  is truly representative  but the point is that both sets of generalizations are telling in their own way  at some level  the stereotypes that emerge can be called true  i can imagine some people liking this film when its characters talk about their  likes  dislikes  skills  and thrills   but on the whole  its pretty bad  and that makes it even harder to forgive the bad acting  corny dialogue  and emotional overextension  ill give beyer one more strike  and then shes out  rated r  almost got an nc17  for explicit sexual dialogue and nudity  
neg	susan grangers review of  mulholland drive   universal focus  whatever david lynch is selling  im not buying  from the writerdirector of  blue velvet  and  twin peaks  comes another dark  mysterious thriller that opens with an automobile accident on mulholland drive  the serpentine street that twists high in the hollywood hills  dazed  a beautiful brunette  laura elena harring  emerges and stumbles down a hill  slipping unobserved into a 30sstyle apartment as the tenant leaves for a trip  the next morning  a dewy blonde  naomi watts  from deep river  ontario  arrives in la with dreams of stardom in her suitcase  her aunt owns the apartment and the two women meet  the brunette has amnesia so the blonde tries to help her discover her identity along with her latent lesbian lust  meanwhile  a hotshot director  justin theroux   whose wife is in bed with the poolman  is forced to cast a certain actress in his new film and theres an assassin  mark pellegrino  roaming the city  the tortuous paths of these various characters  and others named cookie  coco and cowboy  intersect at various points but the plot remains elusive because  midway through the story  lynch has the brunette and blonde play two different women in an alternate reality  leaving a huge wad of cash  a blue metallic key  a paralyzed mogul and a lot of questions that go unanswered  elena harring and particularly naomi watts are gifted actresses  effectively making the subtle switch  the same cannot be said for former m  g  m  dancer ann miller whos stiff and selfconscious  speaking  like most lynch players  in staccato tones  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   mulholland drive  is a frenzied  frustrating 4  originally designed as an episodic tv pilot  this surreal triumph of suspenseful style over substance is packaged as a puzzle with several of the key pieces left out  
neg	georges polti once wrote a paper called  the thirtysix dramatic situations   in which he asserted the fact that all drama could be defined by no more than thirtysix different situations  this may be the modern restatement of the biblical prophecy from ecclesiastes   theres nothing new under the sun   the faculty  the latest movie by from dusk till dawn director robert rodriguez  certainly proves this in typical hollywood fashion  theres not a measureable fraction of original material in this unworthy outing  drawing elements from both the puppet masters and invasion of the body snatchers  screenwriter kevin williamson  of scream 2 credit  gives us a horror tale set in middle america  ohio  one eventful fall  making use of a cast of unusually stock characters  williamson designs an alien invasion that will not be done independence daystyle but rather  through the back door   parasitic aliens take over the faculty of a rundown high school and soon have infested most of the student body  leaving it up to the ensemble of principal characters to win the day  the lack of gusto is the movies major stumbling block  even though the genre has seen movies that have a lack for quality such as this  theyve been saved by an energetic approach  this casts more than a shadow of a doubt on williamsons ability  who enjoyed success with the wes cravendirected scream but couldnt pull anything solid in for this outing or i know what you did last summer  although he designs the faculty with more of a scifi bent than his typical slasher picture  it still comes down to the same results  throw the stock characters in a steel cage match and see who comes out alive  on that level  the main roles are played by virtual unknowns  only the recognizeable elijah wood  deep impact  is at the front  other than that  the screen veterans are saved for the minor roles of the alien teachers  perhaps williamson has it in mind to champion these upandcomers to the fame that their scream and last summer counterparts achieved  but to do that  theyd all need to star in their own wb television show about the horrors of puberty a la  dawsons creek   needless to say the acting is far from top notch  nor does necessity ask that it should be  there is a moment or two of genuine horror  but unfortunately williamson and rodriguez did not take the story far enough in the scifi direction to make any use of it  in sum  the faculty was just one long shot that did not pay off  
neg	the most popular trend of the last couple of years has been the twist ending  watching one of these movies  everything seems to make sense until suddenly you are blown away by an unexpected surprise  when the film ends  there is a moment of confusion  then recollection  then some more confusion  then possibly a second viewing for clarification  this is a description of an ideal twist that perfects everything it sets out to do and more  good surprises make movies fun to watch  then there are the bad twists  you either know what is going to happen ten minutes into the movie  im talking about you reindeer games  or you did not guess the ending because it is so outrageously stupid  screwed perfectly suits the latter description  what starts out as a dumb guilty pleasure which should be fun to mock with a group of friends ends with a complex finale with way too much going on  by the writers of man on the moon and the people vs  larry flynt  scott alexander and larry karaszewski leave milos forman behind and take a stab at film directing  whoops  screwed is an inane christmas carol gone berserk with few genuine laughs and many acting embarrassments  norm macdonald stars as willard filmore  a hard working chauffeur who just wants a little respect from his rich  old  insidious boss  miss crock  elaine stritch   when he overhears her plans to fire him on christmas day  willard is convinced by his best friend rusty  dave chapelle  to kidnap crocks beloved dog and hold it for a ransom of one million dollars  too excited to pay any attention  the hapless losers plan goes awry when the dog escapes and returns home  now crock thinks willard has been kidnapped and the two friends  realizing they can make even more money  decide to stage the fake kidnapping  of course  everything that could go wrong does  the first fortyfive minutes of screwed is harmless entertainment  a guilty pleasure that should be enjoyably bad  but the convoluted script eventually builds into a disaster that is impossible to bear  the more idiotic these characters get  the more reckless the script becomes  at one point  i wanted to get out of my seat and yell at these characters   no  you idiot   im not just talking about willard and rusty  who were extremely annoying  im also talking about the cops in this film  a monkey could have solved this case within an hour but these guys  headed by murder ones daniel benzali  were just too clueless to forgive  they give real cops bad names  also poor danny devito apparently does not know how to turn down a role these days  looking almost identical to his penguin in batman  returns  every time he appeared on the screen i had to shake my head in disbelief  he just didnt belong in this movie  macdonald and chapelle are veterans at these kinds of movies but devito made the film much worse than it already was  gross out humor is certainly not his forte  if youre a fan of norm macdonalds other chaotic comedy  dirty work  you might actually love this nearsequel  otherwise  dont get screwed out of your hardearned money  
neg	 spice world  is just one long promotional film for the british girl band the spice girls  sure theres a hint of humor in there every once in a while  actually  theres a couple of pretty good jabs at the spice girls  but overall  who cares  not me  if you dont know by now  the spice girls sing songs of love and friendship and responsibility and girl power  yet dress like streetwalkers from a lower middle class neighborhood  in  spice world  they ride around in their big tour bus  whining about having to do photo shoots and give interviews  amazingly  all the talk they do about keeping commitments and upholding responsibilities only really applies to fun things  things they want to do  not things they are required to do to keep earning money  and they keep babbling about  girl power  when they should really be talking about  cleavage power   i mean  if all it takes is girl power  then why are they only one thread away from bursting out of their skimpy outfits  the film is pg  but really with only some very minor dialogue changes and scene extentions  youd have yourself one raunchy adult film  by the way  theres something in the opening credits which says  based on an idea by the spice girls   wow  they got idea credit  i certainly wish that was a new trend in hollywood    giving credit for simply having the thought  say girls  lets make a movie   the supporting cast fares well  roger moore  the real james bond  mockingly plays the clichespewing  chief  of the spice girls  and darn it all  hes fun to watch  mark mckenney also is good as a screenwriter trying to pitch film ideas to the bands manager  richard e  grant   one question though  george wendt  youd think that  spice world  would envoke one of two reactions in people  if you like the spice girls  youll like them even more afterwards  and if you cant stand them  like me   then  spice world  will really make you sick  oddly  the audience i saw the film with  roughly 50 twelve yearold girls  sat in silence for the entire film  well  not the two who sat directly behind me  they kept muttering  this is stupid  over and over again  maybe there is hope for humanity after all  pg 
neg	i read the new yorker magazine and i enjoy some of their really indepth articles about some incident  they will take some incident like the investigation of a mysterious plane crash and tell you what happened in detail  it becomes a real education in what agencies get involved and how theories are suggested  and what kind of pressure the investigators are under  and just about any other aspect you can think of  frequently i get the feeling that the article sounded exciting  but i am being told in more detail than i really wanted to know  often i get to the middle of a story and say  ok  it sounded good but i now have invested more time than i am willing to spend on this subject  film is a different medium  it is a visual medium  that slows down the telling of stories much more than people realize  i frequently am surprised to find out how short a film script is and how much of the pages are empty space  the magazine article and the film script are two very different media  the insider is a film adaptation of the vanity fair article  the man who knew too much  by marie brenner  it is too much an adaptation of a magazine article slowed to the pace of a film  it really verges on being tedious at least at times  for years the seven big companies knew that they dealt in an addictive drug that caused a host of unhealthy sideeffects  but they pretended for the public that it was unproven and they did not really believe it  the business was incredibly profitable and the proceeds translated into the political power to squelch and discredit any political movements against big tobacco  the tide turned when a former vicepresident of one of the companies was convinced by the cbs 60 minutes news team to tell the public how much the tobacco companies really knew about the health effects of smoking  the resulting pressure to stop the story created a small civil war at cbs  who were the major people involved  what were their motives  how was the story almost killed  how did it get aired anyway  that is the story covered in surprising detail by the insider  this all could have been enthralling  but it is not the sort of thing that a stylist like michael mann would be likely to do well  and in the end  he failed  to make a long story short  the film needed a director who knew how to make a long story short  the film opens with the cbs 60 minutes team in iran with the assignment to interview a terrorist  we get a taste for their personal style and how they get the upper hand  they go from being one newsman blindfolded at the hands of the terrorists to the actual interview with mike wallace  played by christopher plummer   there the news team under producer lowell bergman  al pacino  are ordering around the terrorists and getting away with it  this seems to have nothing to do with the main line of the story  but later when the tobacco industry is so much harder to manipulate than committed terrorists  we have a wry irony on who really has clout in the world  terrorists can grab the headlines  but the tobacco companies have the real position of power  incongruously intercut with the iran interview sequence we see jeffrey wigand  russell crowe  dejectedly returning from work to his home  we discover that he has been fired and his career brought to a complete halt unexpectedly  he had been a very profitably rewarded vicepresident in charge or research and development at brown and williams tobacco  now he was unemployed and needed money to support his family  rather than support him his wife liane  diane venora  demands of him what are they supposed to do for income  meanwhile the 60 minutes team trying to do a story on fires started by cigarettes have obtained some data they do not understand  they offer wigand 12  000 just to interpret the data  wigands severance agreement swears him to secrecy about anything he knows about tobacco dealings  but he is reluctantly he stretches the severance terms  he is willing to read some documents from another tobacco company and interpret them for bergman  in spite of the secrecy  wigands former employers seem immediately to know wigand is talking to 60 minutes and he is warned off by former boss thomas sandefur played michael gambon in an all too brief but deliciously sinister role  and so the game begins  wigand is irate at his negative treatment for what he still considered continued to be loyalty to his agreement and his former employer  meanwhile someone is playing very rough with wigand and his family  the film examines wigand and the pressures placed on his family as they are caught between two powerful giants  wigand has always wanted to make tobacco safer and has natural sympathies with getting the story out  he and his family are assaulted psychologically and financially by the giant tobacco industry that had never lost a legal fight  al pacino is given top billing but the wigand family is the core of the insider  the story is told slowly and in just a bit too much meticulous detail  the film is 157 minutes and is an extremely demanding film for the audience  the musical score by pieter bourke  lisa gerrard  and graeme revell is one of the worst in recent memory  it puts ominous chords under some scenes and using voice in ways that become a distraction that gets in the way of the storytelling  also disturbing is the casting of christopher plummer as mike wallace  plummer and wallace are such different types and wallace is too wellknown for even so good an actor as plummer to play him convincingly  this film might have been a really engaging experience under another directors control  michael mann was the wrong person to helm this film and the insider lacks intensity because of his style  i rate it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	i should have known  damn it  i should have known  ewan mcgregor  codename   eye   is pointing a hightech riflely gadget at a fat  bald businessoriented american engaging in illicit sexual activities in a window across the street  we get the requisite electrogreen throughthesight view  we the audience  seeing a high tech riflely gadget  of course think that eye is going to assassinate the target  but instead  he pulls the trigger and the rifle takes twenty or so hazy  lowquality photographs  which eye then proceeds to fax and email to everyone in his targets office  all right  so thirty seconds in  i was slightly befuddled by this seemingly pointless riflecamera  but i was still open minded    maybe theres a really good reason for it  ive got reason to believe  you see  i admire a lot of ewan mcgregors previous work    and hes obi wan ke frigginnobi for gods sake  and director stephan elliots last movie priscilla  queen of the desert was a quirky little delight  theres some genuine talent involved here  i think at the twenty minute mark  there was still a spark of hope in my heart  eye has been assigned to investigate the leader of his organizations son  i still have no idea what this organization was  british intelligence  national spy ring  private investigation    who is apparently stealing from his trust fund  he has received his assignment from k  d  lang  through an elaborate and expensive teleconferencing briefcase  when eye tracks his target to an expensive looking secluded house  he witnesses a mysterious and beautiful woman  ashley judd  take a knife out and proceed to stab the poor bastard  ok  thats odd  i think to myself  this could be interesting  then she starts to cry  and through her tears exclaims  merry christmas  dad   for the first time  so begins our tale of obsession    or    something  the rest of the movie involves ewan mcgregors eye character following ashley judd around to every corner of the united states  totally and completely obsessed by this woman from afar  throughout his entire professional life  he has been a voyeur  so when he falls for someone  the only way he can handle it is to watch and drool through telescopes and cameras  fine  thats a lovely premise  i suppose  but gosh darn it  if youre going to go there  you better have some sort of explanation  and thats precisely where this film fails  this is the kind of movie that pisses me off  its an abortion  a collection of halfformed and wasted ideas that amounts to absolutely nothing in the end  it pretends it is something that it is not  a surreal and deep psychological character study wrapped in a hightech thriller  here  the filmmakers have confused  surreal  and  deep  with  vaguely unclear  and  crammed full of insultingly obvious metaphors   i never  even for an instant  had the foggiest idea why eye would fall so in  love  with this woman who changes wigs and kills people  the movie offers only two explanations  neither of which make a lick of sense  explanation number one  the obnoxious presence of eyes imaginary daughter  who was taken away from him by his wife some time ago  tells him he shouldnt leave ms  judd  explanation two  which by the end of the film has been beaten into our heads through imagery and dialog and even the title of the movie   beauty is in the eye of the beholder   whoo hoo  that helps  thanks a bunch  case closed  thats as deep as it gets  folks  there is an attempt at an explanation in the final minutes  which  instead of tying everything together  ends up being as profound as a clever sixthgrade mad lib  there are secondary characters that move in and out of the picture and serve little or no purpose except to make the audience wonder what the hell the point was  my personal favorites include  the prisonmatron modeled after austin powers frau farbissina  who apparently taught ms  judd everything she knows about wearing wigs  jason priestleys awfully played dirty desert vagrant 1  who tries to emulate dennis hopper a la blue velvet  but fails miserably  and the copwhoseesashleyfleeinganaccidentsceneand thenwantstopayforsex butisshot  each one in this sad little parade is a little more pointless than the last  the script pays no attention to the laws of time and space  any time one of the frequent location changes occurs  the camera zooms in on a souvenir snow globe  and minutes  weeks  or years could have passed  bewilderingly inane stylistic decisions plague the whole affair  one character passes a glass of cognac to another in a slowmotion closeup awash in a lot of bass  ewan mcgregor at one point takes up residence in a bell tower just so he could be repeatedly awakened and deafened by the giant bell  jason priestly starts philosophizing about sharks  then laughs maniacally    cut to random guy with eye patch    iguana out of focus    iguana comes into focus  wow  man  when i found out afterward that this film was based on a novel  it came as no surprise to me  there are plenty of elements here that  if extended and fleshed out more  would have made for a decent story  and i wouldnt be surprised if i found out there was an hour and a half of footage cut from this movie lying in a landfill somewhere  or waiting in the wings for the dvd special directors cut    not that anything would ever possess me to purchase such a thing to find out what i was missing  the last ten or so minutes featured a conversation between the eye and the judd that was supposed to be some sort of revealing exposition  some guy in the back of the theater was talking on his cell phone  and this time i didnt particularly care all that much because what was happening on the screen was a steaming pile of unholy crap  the audience around me chuckled and whispered sentiments similar to what i was thinking  someone near cellphoneguy did eventually yell   shut the hell up    but it was a lot funnier when we thought he was talking to the screen  
neg	as bad as  mimic  was  it definitly scared me   mimic  continued the frightening hollywood trend of taking a foreign director who shows a lot of creative ingenuity and style  and completely flushing it when he comes to america to make a movie  director guillermo del toro was recently imported from mexico after he made the award winning and inventive horror film  cronos   that movie worked because it took an unconventional story  unique characters and well written plot and dialogue to create a truly scary movie  in  mimic   del toro doesnt bother to give us anything original  the plot is a stupid combination of  aliens  meets  species  meets  jurassic park   the characters have been recycled from a few hundred other movies  theres nothing new in  mimic   its just a bunch of old tricks that rarely work  at the end of the movie  youre stuck wanting your money back  maybe the worst thing about the movie is that del toro followed another annoying trend of recent movies  he forgot to turn the lights on  i dont understand why suspense movies lately have to follow the  seven  trend and be set in dark  dank areas  watching  mimic  i was tempted several times to yell at the screen  turn the lights on  the switch is to your right  use common sense  just do it  youll be able to see the monster in the corner   theres a scene where mira sorvino is standing in subway station while the lights are flickering on and off  it looked like the light operator was having a seizure  and sorvino didnt even notice  she just stood there looking like she was having deep thoughts   hmmm     i think bean soup would be good for dinner tonight    mimic  has a lot of incidental shock tactics  boo  just kidding   and follows them up with the real scare  but nothing in this movie scares you  the audience in the theater never jumped during suspenseful moments  i think they were bored  too  i shouldnt blame del toro  he isnt the first successful foreign director to come to hollywood and make a bad movie  hong kong director john woo made two of the best action films of all time   the killer  and  hard boiled  then came to america to make the stupid  broken arrow   french directors luc besson   la femme nikita   and george sluizer   the vanishing   followed woos lead and made dumbed down versions of those movies  robert rodriguez  who directed the terrific low budget  el mariachi  came to hollywood and directed the horrible  highbudget  desperado   i dont know why a foreign director who shows such talent in his country cant make a good american movie  woo finally broke through and made  faceoff   but it still isnt up to par with his earlier films  i get the feeling a hollywood producer sits in his office  chews on a big smelly cigar and says to the director   welcome to america  i bet you must be tired after being on that boat for so long  do you speak english  now  i know you think youve made good movies in the past  but now youre in america  so things are a little different here  just remember what the american audience always wants  and youll be fine  they want to see at least one big breasted woman  characters that theyve seen a thousand times before  because change scares americans   and you always need a cheesy feelgood ending to wrap things up  if you dont make that kind of movie  youll be shining my shoes in no time   
neg	darren  jason biggs   wayne  steve zahn   and j  d   jack black  have been best friends since the fifth grade  like the three musketeers  theyve been together through thick and thin  but  when darren meets an attractive  but coldblooded and manipulative  psychiatrist  judith  amanda peet   the long time friendship is placed in danger  its up to wayne and j  d  to rescue their best friend in  saving silverman    silverman  has its heart in the right place  but the story  by newcomers hank nelken and greg depaul  is too lightweight to sustain the tale of the battle for darrens soul  based on their experience of a friend making a major marital mistake  the story is centered on the three  life long amigos  when wayne introduces darren to judith  he doesnt realize that he has opened a pandoras box of disaster for himself and j  d  judith was once in a relationship where her boyfriend was the dominant figure until he died in a kick boxing match  since then  she has sought a new mate  someone she can boss around and mold into her own vision  enter darren silverman  once they realize the magnitude of their error in judgement  wayne and j  d  try everything they can  including threats and bribery  to get judith to free darren  nothing works until the duo come up with a plan  kidnap judith and get darren back together with the girl he called his one and only  pretty sandy perkus  amanda detmer   the only problem here is that sandy is about to take her vows to become a nun  things spiral out of control as judith repeatedly attempts to escape while wayne and j  d  play cupid  the boys even bring their idol  neil diamond  into the picture to help resolve things  thinking about it  this is a real mishmash of contrivance and coincidence that is held together solely by the comedic efforts of steve zahn and jack black  the pair is able to elicit the films only laughs with their goofy antics and childlike behavior  they are relegated to providing slapstick guy humor and the two are more than equal to the task  steve zahn has been steadily honing his comedic acting skills and gives some complexity to wayne  the  brains  of the gang  jack black has the bigguy moves of a chris farley  giving j  d  an amusing physical presence  the neat thing is that the two actors are able to get fresh laughs from stale material  the rest of the cast doesnt fare as well  though  jason biggs is the straight man of the musketeers and gets very little to do  though having watched his previous films   american pie  and  loser   im not sure what attraction biggs actually has  amanda peet is caustic as the manipulative judith  there is no humanity at all to her character as she singlemindedly strives to recreate darren into her minds image  shes a monster that wayne and j  d  must defeat to save their friend  unfortunately  there is no dimension to her character  amanda detmer brings nothing  or gets nothing  as darrens one and only  r  lee ermey  as the psychotic coach  made a bad decision taking this role  tunemeister neil diamond gives a goodnatured cameo perf as the boys idol and savior  production values are on par with the rest of the film  lackluster and noninvolving  director dennis dugan has a track record for broad comedy with films like  big daddy  and  beverly hills ninja   but falls flat with  saving silverman   the 2001 movie year has yet to provide us with a  good  film to sink our teeth into  at least  with  saving silverman   we get a couple of funny perfs from zahn and black  too bad that the rest of the film lacks their level of humor  kick boxing deaths and conflicted nuns are not the makings of a good comedy  i give it a c  
neg	 an intimate  characterdriven drama about a troubled youth at a crossroads in his life   read the press notes for reachtherock  im not really sure what film that statement is describing because those words bear little resemblance to the slow  completely uninvolving bore i sawat least  it certainly does not describe what goes on for most of the film  alessandro nivola plays robin fleming  a troubled  directionless 21yearold who has a penchant for breaking storefront windows in a small town  police sergeant phil quinn  william sadler  takes him in  and what ensues for the first 70 minutes is a tedious series of sneakouts and sneakins where robin slips out of his jail cell  breaks a window  then returns  all without quinn ever noticing  also added to the pointless proceedings is some wouldbe humorous shenanigans involving quinns dimwitted deputy ernie attempting to engage in clandestine patrol car sex with his girlfriend donna  karen sillas   with a half hour  if even that long  remaining  director william ryan and writer john hughes  yes  john hughes of 80s youth films and homealone  finally approach something close to a point  turns out robin still pines for his high school sweetheart lise  brooke langton   who has long gone on with her life  and hughess main concern at long last reveals itself as a tired  live in the present and for the future  message  most moviegoers  however  will likely be asleep by that time  wide awake  however  is the cast  who individually tackle their showcase dramatic scenes with energy and skillthus revealing the real purpose behind this listless enterprise  to serve as a series of acting exercises  such a glorified workshop may have its rewards for the actors  but it leaves audiences with a booby prize   opens october 16  
neg	vampires is a rude  chauvinistic movie where women are portrayed as pawns of abuse  present only to pleasure men  feed vampires  readied to be bashed or beaten  till ones sensibilities is shocked by the low iq and mentality of this regressive movie  to make matters worse  the buffoons that go hunting vampires are all rednecks  and deserve to have their heads bitten off  if not  their bodies carved in half  the dilemma of hating the  heroes as much as the  villains  makes one wish that the  hand of god would suddenly appear and blast both parties into oblivion  james wood portrays jack crow  a man obsessed with killing vampires  whose soul reason for living is based on revenge  they killed his parents   but this is not a good excuse for being more obnoxious than the vampires  as for adam baldwin  he is nothing more than a stooge who is ordered to beat women when the director shouts  action  and the script should have been reworked to avoid much offence against the female sex  as for the claims that the catholic church created  dracula  well that is the second most sacrilegious suggestion  outside the fact that priests and monks bear the brunt of the vampire fury  with enough blood spilt to make the inquisition look tame  an awful movie on all counts  my suggestion is to bring back buffy and bury this group of incompetent  rude vampire slayers  
neg	synopsis  blond criminal psychologist sarah chooses to copulate with greasy tony the mysterious puerto rican rather than bearded cliff the wisecracking neighbor upstairs  in the meantime  someone sends sarah rotting flowers  puts her name in the newspapers obituary column  and kills her cat  comments  never talk to strangers  a colossal waste of time  moves slower than molasses in winter to arrive at a conclusion which should be obvious to the audience 20 minutes into the film  one wouldnt think that two genuine movie stars  antonio banderas  evita  and rebecca de mornay  hand that rocks the cradle   and the acerbic comic genius dennis miller   saturday night live   would be involved in such a celluloid backfire as this turkey  not only are they in it  however  but de mornay executive produced it  what was she thinking  never talk to strangers centers upon sarah  a psychologist examining the illtempered max  a murderer soon to stand trial  she receives a sudden visit from her father which elicits flashbacks of some tragedy in her early childhood  two men woo her  tony the  security consultant  wins her over  so they have passionate sex replete with cheesy saxophone music   a lot of psychobabble is thrown around about multiple personality disorder  but the movie asks its audience not to derive the obvious conclusion between mpd and sarah  and instead offers several male characters as red herrings  86 minutes  the running time of this cinematic mess  thus  seem like 86 hours  a good chunk of never talk to strangers is spent upon sarah and tony  why would the careerminded  professional sarah feel attracted to the walking steroid with a black hat called tony  thats one of the films mysteries which are never answered  regardless of motive  de mornay and banderas strip down and have sex several times in what passes for eroticism  they also manage to go out before copulating occasionally  in one of the stupidest scenes of the film  tony takes sarah to a carnival thats  right outside  his dingy apartment  that way  they can hurry back and have sex quickly   also  apparently  the weather changes quickly in their locale  theyre at this outdoor carnival one day before having sex  the next day  theyre out playing in the snow before having sex  the filmmakers attempt to produce a suspenseful plot interspersed with tony and sarahs  character development   someone is out to get poor sarah  though most of the audience should have figured out who before any of this starts   rotting flowers  a writeup in the obituary  and a beaten neighbor are just a few of the bad things which happen to her  suspense cliche number one also occurs  whenever someone is stalked in thrillers  by any means  if the stalked has a pet  that pet will die  oftentimes  to even further the cliche  the murdered pet is a cat  suspense filmmakers  for some reason  just dont like cats   sarah  in never talk to strangers  receives a package and  lo and behold  discovers her mutilated cat within  suspense at its very derivative  as stated before  never talk to strangers is a poor excuse for a film whose sole purpose seems to be exploiting banderas and de mornays bodies as often as possible  comedian dennis miller is completely wasted here  hes not given lines that are suitable for his persona  and doesnt even appear all that much  maybe  in a way  hes lucky for that  early on in the movie  sarah tells tony  after meeting him in a supermarket  that she had been advised to never talk to strangers  allow me to advise that you never watch this stinker  
neg	a sensuous romantic comedy  about as appealing as your average lightweight tv sitcom  there is no special ingredient on the menu for what is dished out  its the kind of stuff ive seen before and was made nauseous by its silly idea of love and what it thinks is funny  the film plans to exploit the beauty and sweetness of its delicious star pen  lope cruz  who plays a brazilian chef with a magical touch for bringing out the spices in her preparations  the aromas just sensually waft from her cooking pot  but who cant get by on looks alone in this transparently predictable story  pen  lope was wonderful in pedro almod  vars  all about my mother   but here she is so visible in such a stale story  where she can only smile and tease the audience by having us see a constant barrage of cleavage shots as she bends when cooking  that she somehow looks ridiculous  as if she got egg all over her face  the best you can say about her  is that shes not to blame for this picture being so off  this exploitation of sex film without even delivering nudity or sex  is in my opinion  worst than a raunchy film that delivers what it says it will  the story is all about the love  motion sickness  and cooking ability of isabella  cruz   who is born in bahia  brazil and learns to cook at an early age from her parents cook  to cure her motion sickness  her parents tried every remedy  until they went to a spiritualist who prayed to the goddess of the sea for her cure  she is able to control it now as long as she doesnt drive a car  ride elevators  follow in dancing  and is the woman on top when making love  in other words  she has to be in control of things  in her small fishing town she falls in love with a handsome macho latin waiter  toninho oliveira  murilo ben  cio  and marries him  they open up a successful restaurant  where she slaves away in the kitchen but he gets all the credit for it  even though hes a loafer  one night she catches him in bed with another girl and decides to leave for san francisco  we dont see her in flight  so i cant tell how she handled her motion sickness problem  unless she flew the plane  she visits her friends apartment monica  harold perrineau jr    who is a crossdresser  blending right into the san francisco scene  to cast away her love for the irresistible toninho  she calls her spiritualist friend and gets her to cast an irreversible spell  freeing her from ever loving him again  her luck changes when a local tv producer cliff  mark feurerstein  gets a whiff of her cooking and storms into her cooking class as if were in a spell and presents her with her own live tv cooking show  you can really write the script from here on by yourself    as the despondent toninho begins to realize what a good thing he had  but things continue to go bad for him  there is a curse he caused on the fishing in his village  there is no chef to replace his wife  as the restaurant is about to close for good  so he comes to san francisco  figuring he can charm her again  he brings along with him his guitar playing musicians  the ones he used when courting her  when he serenaded her under her window  he sees his wife on tv with monica as her sidekick  the yuppie tv producer chasing after her  and sees that she is no longer charmed by him  when he sneaks on her tv show set and tries to woo her with his musical group and him singing corny love songs to her  the ratings go up and hes hired as a regular on the show  the show gets so big  that the network honchos come onboard  taking it national  but they want to change the ethnic flavor of the show  get rid of monica because hes a freak  have isabella cook with tabasco instead of the brazilian peppers she uses  and they change her ethnic dresses to lowcut vanna white type of sexy dresses  cliff  her wouldbe boyfriend  acts creepy and sides with the network bigshots  even though he loved everything she did  these tv scenes were not only bad stereotype scenes of tv honchos  they were revolting  it was an insult to ones intelligence  im sure that im not spoiling the ending for anyone  when i tell you that toninho reforms his macho ways and together they cook up a meal that breaks her spell of loving him again  if the film wasnt terrible enough  monica and cliff act on their attraction for each other and become lovers  it was so awkwardly done  that it had no sense of truth or humor to it  this film might as well have been made by the same network guys featured in this film  because it doesnt look or feel like an almod  var film  the type of film it aspired to be  but more like a film that was interferred with from above  its more like a futile commercial film that is more annoying than charming and more dull than chic  as it searches for box office heaven  
neg	let me just start this review off by saying i am a huge fan of professional wrestling and have been for fifteen years  i am not too fond of ted turners world championship wrestling  however  and i am even less fond of it now after seeing this ridiculous excuse for a wrestling movie tonight  the plot concerns two losers named gordie boggs  david arquette  aptly cast as a neandrathal  and sean dawkins  scott caan  who are so obsessed with professional wrestling that they believe everything they see on wcw monday nitro is something more than a flashy show  when they finally get to see their hero  wcw world champion jimmy king  played by oliver platt  i personally would have gotten a wrestler to play king   he ends up getting screwed over by evil promoter titus sinclair  a wasted palitaliano  in a role originally meant for reallife wcw president eric bischoff before he was fired and rehired six months later  and if anyone reads this who knows bischoff  they will agree with me that the role of sinclair had his name written all over it   they embark on a quest to find him and help him get his title back  when they find him  they discover in horror that jimmy kings real life is nothing like it is on wcw tv  king is a drunken atlanta native rather than an english king  after convincing king that they dont care that his persona isnt real  gordie and sean sneak him back onto wcw monday nitro  after which sinclair agrees to book him in a main event steel cage match for the wcw title and his job back in las vegas at wcws payperview  gee  whiz  there are so many things wrong with this movie  i dont know where to begin  yes  i do    1  the characters of gordie and sean show you what eric bischoff  wcw president who thought up this project  thinks of wrestling fans  he thinks of us as idiots who take everything wrestlers do seriously  he actually thinks wrestling fans are dumb enough to believe this is meant to be taken seriously  i got news for you  eric  nobody above the age of four is dumb enough for that  this is 2000  you know  not 1985  i know hell probably cover arguments up by saying it isnt meant to be taken seriously but it is  because thats how big an ego bischoff has  2  there was a documentary made in 1998  wrestling with shadows  that documented the owner of the world wrestling federation  vince mcmahons screwing bret  the hitman  hart out of the title  this movies storyline is basically a comic ripoff of that plot with the poor mans wayne and garth thrown in  eric bischoff is trying to make vince mcmahon look bad with the character of titus sinclair  but any wrestling fan knows titus is more like bischoff than mcmahon  and that vince did what he had to do to bret hart  3  the movies main wrestler  jimmy king  has an english king gimmick and the audience cheered big for him  no wrestling fan actually enjoys characters like that in this day and age  we want bad asses today  4  why make this a comedy  instead of an emotional  rockystyle drama  i know wrestling isnt a sport  but you can still get behind a guy who struggles as a wrestler and finally makes it in the end  5  in the movie  gordie starts up an illfated romance with nitro girl sasha  the lovely rose mcgowan  what she sees in that freak marilyn manson ill never understand   only to find that she has hospitalized kings trainer for sinclair  wouldnt it have been easier to just have them fall in love instead of doing the typical spygirlforthebadguy cliche  i hate that  6  last  but certainly not least  there was not one single moment in this movie that i could not predict would happen  nor did i laugh once either  the world wrestling federation should have been the wrestling company to make the movie  for these reasons  1  theyre the better promotion  2  they have better and younger talent  performers and wrestlers  3  they give their fans what they want and dont treat them like idiots  4  theyre winning the ratings and theyre the promotion everybody cares about  5  simply put  they could make a movie a hundred times better  and they could do a wrestling movie the right way  the only good thing about this movie was they played outtakes at the end  and if i spoiled it for you  good  i saved you from wasting seven dollars  
neg	battlefield long  boring and just plain stupid battlefield earth a film review by michael redman copyright 2000 by michael redman in my midteen years  i had a horrendous reoccurring nightmare  behind the wheel of a car  i was driving down a straight road in the middle of a desert  no scenery except the horizon line and the converging parallel lines of the highway  no matter what i did  the view didnt change  travelling but not getting anywhere  each time i awoke in a sweat  terrified  you dont have to be carl jung to understand that dream  powerless to make changes  trapped in a boring situation with no hope of rescue  this is the stuff of nightmares whether we are asleep or awake  this is exactly how you will feel 15 minutes after  battlefield earth  begins  for all of its flash and style  l  ron hubbards science fiction epic is the earliest and best entry for the dullest summer film of 2000  dull  and  stupid  in the year 3000  the psychlo aliens have ruled our planet for 1  000 years  humans either work as slave labor in mining operations or live as barbarians  theres no hope  the future is bleak  then the psychlo make a mistake and capture feisty jonnie goodboy tyler  barry pepper  who organizes a revolution against chief of security terl  john travolta  and the alien race  its an archetypal postapocalyptic plot full of promise  considering some of the talent involved and all the millions thrown at the screen  its difficult to see how it could have failed so miserably  but it does  the story is so full of holes that it falls apart within minutes of the opening credits  are we really supposed to believe that after a millennium of looking for gold  the psychlo never discovered fort knox  or that fighter planes are still in pristine condition after all that time  and gassed up  or that the cavemen become such expert pilots in seven days that they can easily down the advanced alien ships  or that the psychlo spy cameras somehow dont notice that their slaves are missing for days  travolta prances across the screen hamming it up for all hes worth and is almost entertaining  almost  the rest of the actors are wooden mannequins trying not to laugh while delivering lines that no person   mananimal  or not  would ever utter  some of the film looks good  but it also looks so familiar  a race of large hulking apelike creatures has taken over the world while our cities lie in ruin  sound like something charlton heston might be in  the psychlo look like overweight klingons in gear from  dune   the final air battle between the air force fighters and the psychlo ships in their hightech city is something george lucas might have been associated with  its too loud  its too oppressive  its too slow  its too long    far too long  and on it goes  the list of the problems with  battlefield earth  is endless  its difficult to find anything in the film that does work  oh yeah  the color scheme is nice  the real question is how this movie ever got made  could it have something to do with the fact that l  ron hubbard was the founder of scientology  and that john travolta is a member of the church  that might explain why travolta bought the rights to the novel years ago  but it doesnt give us a clue as to why firsttime screenwriter corey mandells atrocious script was used  or why the highprofile project was entrusted with roger christian who had never before directed a major film  or why no one looked at this thing before it was released and realized there might be problems  the one bright spot is that no longer will kevin costners  the postman   which i begrudgingly admit as a guilty pleasure  be  the  big budget science fiction failure   battlefield earth  has the honor sewed up  often reviewers will recommend that you skip mediocre films and wait for the video  thats not the case here  you can act now and make the decision to not see it on the big screen or on the small one  dont hesitate  strike now while the iron is cold  
neg	hey  ive got a great idea for a movie  ok  here it is  well get tim allen to pull angry faces for about two hours or so  whats that  sounds too boring  ok  how about this then  we still have tim allen pull faces for about two hours  but half of them are angry looks and half of them are  im in pain   looks  whats that  that still doesnt sound funny to you  how about if we through in some  ewwwww   looks  still not funny  if you answered  no  that doesnt sound funny   then  ding ding ding   youre absolutely correct  for richer or poorer is a moronic farce about a rich married couple  played by tim allen and kirstie alley  who seek refuge in an amish community after their bumbling accountant  wayne knight  best know as newman on tvs  seinfeld   gets them in trouble for tax evasion  what ensues is a badly scripted and horribly directed 114 minutes of cinema hell  what makes this all wrong is that nobody seems to have what the film needs    namely  talent  backing up  the married couple is brad and caroline sexton  allen and alley   a popular snobby duo who seem totally in love to everyone else  but in reality are on the brink of divorce  just as their marriage seems to be hanging from its final thread  brad discovers that his accountant  bob lachman  knight   has been engaging in illegitimate deals in the sextons names  the irs catches on  but since everything points back to the sextons and not lachman  there is nothing much to do    except run away and join an amish community  first time screenwriters jana howington and steve lukanic give us a couple of chuckleoutloud moments  and even some decent laughs here and  way  over there  but there is so much to cringe at in this horribly made film that youll likely miss the laughs while regurgitating popcorn  alley is absolutely unwatchable  and the chemistry between her and allen is about as believable as my chemistry homework from tenth grade  which  i inform you  was total b  s    allen and alley are in no way convincing as tycoons  nor are they very convincing as an amish couple  this entire movie is one bad illconceived notion that should have been curtailed from the very beginning  the amish in this movie are also flimsy and unconvincing  its such a trite  stereotypical script that i imagine the actors that were cast  noticing that theyre all predominantly tv figures  were probably the only ones they could get  bryan spicers directing doesnt help one bit  either  in fact  listing spicers filmography  which includes the first  power rangers  movie and the big screen adaption of mchales navy  is more of an insult than a r  sum   now that ive pretty much run for richer or poorer into the ground  i will let you in on the best thing about it  it bumped seven films up a notch on my  worst of  1997 movie list  thats right  thanks to this film ranking at number 3 for the years worst  six films are now not seemingly as bad  and a smile like yours  previously inhabiting the number ten spot  now doesnt have to suffer the ridicule of making my bottom ten list  if you look at it in that respect  for richer or poorer will end up making someone happy after all  
neg	even the best comic actor is at the mercy of his or her material  as this subpar submarine comedy proves  down periscope stars kelsey  frasier  grammer as an inept navy captain who is given command of his own ship as part of a corrupt officers  james coburn  plan to get him out of the navy  like any lame emsemble comedy  the officer assigns him to a group of misfits like the guy who wants to be kicked out  the fat guy who eats all the time  the beautiful woman who doesnt belong there  lauren holly   the secondincommand who does everything by the book  rob schneider   the crazy old guy who freaks everyone out  harry dean stanton  and so on  then comes the transparent plotline  first grammer has to fix up the delapidated korean war ship the navy has given him  and that comes courtesy a sad sight gag montage that includes a guy with a mop knocking schneider overboard  after the ship is fixed up come the early drills  where everyone seems completely inept  like the electrician who cant connect wires so instead lets the current run through himself every time grammer gets on the phone  finally  and this covers the final hour of the movie  grammer has to lead his men  and holly  to overcome the other ships in a wargames exercise  and he has to be a clever rebel to do it  in scenes that stretch all levels of believability  first theyre singing  louie louie  like a bunch of drunk sailors to throw the radar of the other ship off  then thirty minutes later  theyre making whale mating noises to throw the radar of the other ship off  the whole while  evil captain coburn is overacting underwater  cursing grammer  as most people watching the movie probably are too   its all predictable without any original humor to redeem it  the jokes are right out of  mchales navy  and other cutrate sitcoms of the past  theres one scene where schneider looks through the ships pantry in disgust  holds one food can up and announces   this expired in 1966   i yelled back at the screen   so did these jokes   i watched this movie with the whole family and everyone hated it  my mom was so bored she brought out the coupon book midway through and  around the start of the second hour  i started writing my will  the blame cant really be placed on the stars  though  kelsey grammer is good in this  he just doesnt have anything to work with  his character is said to have gotten so drunk one night that he had  welcome aboard  tatooed on his penis  grammer probably did something even worse  got really drunk and agreed to appear in a movie he knew nothing about  same for holley  save the penis part   who is likeable in down periscope just because shes so gorgeous  as for schneider  whose character is downright annoying   there was nowhere to go but up after surf ninjas  although hes still in the depths of the comedy ocean after jumping the  snl  ship  my theory is that down periscope is one of those movies that got the green light before the script was even written as a formula comedy   okay  its police academy in the navy with frasier at the helm and the chick from dumb and dumber    and after everyone was signed on turned into a disaster  judging from the video box  most other movie critics agree with me  the only quote the down periscope copy writers could dig up came from the prevue channels jim ferguson  i guess even jeff craig from  60 second preview   who said tank girl  kicks butt   without ever seeing it  didnt like this  
neg	movies dont come much more ridiculously titled than  i still know what you did last summer   but since the movie in question is best described as ridiculous  the title sort of works as a warning  more than a sillysounding mouthful to blurt out to the ticket vendor  this horror sequels moniker also contains a grievous oversight that anyone who saw the original will be able to spot  what  you  did last summer  you  actually did the summer before last summer  and since  i  knew about it this summer as well as last summer  its really illogical to say that  i  still know what  you  did last summer  the filmmakers would have at least made sense with the shorter  i still know   the longer  i still know what you did two summers ago  or the appropriate  stupid people getting hacked to bits   that last suggestion is the preferable one since the characters in this film do things that are the polar opposite of smart  for example  if your roommate is plagued by terrible nightmares as a result of being stalked and nearly murdered not long ago  would you sneak into her room late at night and hide in the closet  even if it was just to locate and borrow a cute little dress  probably not  but thats precisely what college student karla  pop diva brandy  does to best friend julie  jennifer love hewitt   resulting in the first in a long line of phony frights  julie  youll recall  was one of the sole survivors at the end of 1997s surprise hit  i know what you did last summer   after a slasher with a grudge to bear  its a long story  began trying to pick off her  her buddies and various others in their coastal carolina village  in this installment  the plot picks up as karla wins a trip to the bahamas  and julie  yet racked by guilt  decides that maybe a tropical getaway will help ease her mind  yeah  right  their island paradise has room  of course  for one more in the form of the stillalive killer  muse watson  from the first film  he sports the same gortons fisherman getup  a heavy hat and rain slicker that mask his identity  but why hes still trying to stay anonymous is a mystery this movie never solves    though i suppose his hookhand would look funny protruding from the sleeve of a leisure suit  in a sense  thats the movies glaring flaw  everybody knows who the bad guy is  thus evaporating the level of paranoid tension nicely sustained by its prequel  the murders and attempted murders in that film were vivid and scary  but trey callaways derivative  i still know  screenplay makes the fisherman just as dumb as his pretty potential victims  when julie lays blissfully unaware in a tanning bed  giving him a perfect chance to wreak vengeance once and for all  what does he do  he twistties the lid shut and cranks up the uv rays  youd think hed want her gutted now instead of a skin cancer victim later  even prequel  summer  lovers might balk at how little there is here beyond sporadically amusing absurdity and a few neato shots of blood flowing from toned teenage flesh  the innovative gallows humor that scribe  and  scream  wunderkind  kevin williamson injected into  i know  s unfolding story is sorely missed  replaced with the grating antics of a white rastafarian cabana boy who smokes weed and tosses off slang like  yo   youll cheer  not shriek  when he ends up with a pair of hedgetrimmers firmly implanted in his chest  if  i know what you did last summer   however effective  was just the kind of movie that those subversive  scream  flicks poked fun at  then the deadly  i still know what you did last summer  deserves a fullblown roasting on  mystery science theatre 3000   
neg	synopsis  a humorless police officers life changes when he befriends a supersmart  superadorable golden retriever named einstein and a cute  young blond scientist  unfortunately  einstein shares a psychic link with a bigfootsized apecreature trained by the blond scientist to be an unstoppable killing machine  and this rogainenightmare is loose and after the dog and the girl  meanwhile  a group of white  chainsmoking  guntoting nsa agents in sunglasses and business suits tries to kill all the other characters in the movie  comments  watchers reborn  a cheaply made directtovideo turkey  is the fourth sequel to the first film version of dean koontzs bestselling novel watchers  technically  this should have been called watchers v  but it seems that this cycle of horror movies  much like many other sequelcrazy film series  has decided to drop the numbers from the titles   even the star trek movies dropped the numbers from their titles after star trek vi   the makers of watchers reborn probably want to fool unsuspecting video rental customers into thinking this might be a good movie instead of a crappy fifth installment of a film series which should have died a long time ago  this really isnt a good movie  have you ever rented a movie and recieved a sinking feeling about it when you watched the previews preceding the feature presentation  well  any hope a viewer may have had  perhaps because he is a fan of novelist dean koontz or actor mark hamill  will be dashed by the time hes seen the trailers tagged on before the beginning of watchers reborn  theyre awful  these commercials cover films like a strange stripper movie called shadow dancer  some weird crap about a dead indian  teens  and wolves  and an  action  movie called detonator starring scott baio  scott baio  what idiot dreamed this movie up  after surviving these abysmal trailers  the person finally gets to watch the movie he rented  watchers reborn   maybe it wont be  that  bad  he may say to himself   perhaps  just perhaps  the bottomofthebarrel film fluff advertised before it is greatly misleading  watchers reborn  after all  is based on that cool book dean koontz wrote a decade ago  it stars mark hamill  luke skywalker himself from that terrific star wars trilogy  lou rawls is even in the mix   unfortunately  the force is certainly no longer with mark hamill  he looks very sick here   and this movie shares only basic plot elements with watchers  the book  the latter is really too bad  koontz is a hack writer producing way too many thrillers for his own good  but he is still my favorite hack writer  koontz has a writing style which is succinct and suspenseful  people who read many of his books  however  often complain of repetitive plot devices  its definately not a koontz book if there isnt  1  a psychic   2  a superintelligent dog  or  3  a psychotic killer who likes ripping out peoples eyeballs  watchers has all three devices  which may explain why its arguably the most popular of koontzs books  the idea behind koontzs novel  though highly implausible  is very interesting  basically  a biological war machine is created  a smart dog can be released in battle  track down its target  and then relay the targets position  psychically  to a large creature designed to kill in handtohand combat  silly but kind of neat too  im sorry  i dont mean to ramble on about matters not directly linked to watchers reborn  the movie  i suppose i just dont want to talk about the movie itself  this turkey is really cheesy  no one in this movie can act  including mark hamill  and its difficult seeing the aged luke skywalker stumble around trying to be the hero  the cheese factor is only increased when hes involved in an implied sex scene with the blond biologist  geneticist  zoologist  whateverthef   kshessupposedtobe whom he befriends  mercifully  the filmmakers opted not to do nudity  to be honest  the only halfconvincing actor in the film is the golden retriever who plays einstein  you know a movie is bad when a dog outacts all of its human counterparts  i find it difficult to relate how laughable the action sequences are in this movie  and the creature  yes  the creature out after poor einstein is some guy in a furry suit and a mask which poorly imitates the werewolves in the howling  this creature is shot about 500  000 times  but its okay  the creature has the ability to kill people by swinging his arms around and pushing  oh  he can also rip body parts off  allowing for many scenes of fake hands and arms being thrown around  cheesy gore  thats another main element of watchers reborn  it has many bloody scenes which are thoroughly unconvincing and only increase the films campiness rather than its suspense  ultimately  i gave watchers reborn a star and a half because bad horror  scifi film buffs may get a few kicks out of the films silliness  though this film will tax even their patience  its an 83 minute film  but it feels like four hours   also  i hate to admit  i have survived far worse than this  anyone who has sat through the christopher lambert and natasha henstridge debacle known as adrenalin  fear the rush will know what i mean  finally  i couldnt help but think that watchers reborn would work well as  bot fodder  for the creative folks behind one of my alltime favorite shows   mystery science theater 3000   this thought alone helped me survive watchers reborn with a smile on my face  rated r  watchers reborn contains dozens of bloodspattered bodies and unconvincing gore  it also has violence  obviously  i wouldnt recommend it for the little kids  but im sure even young teens would make it through this movie okay  instead of watching this film  however  i recommend reading koontzs book  trust me  itll be time much  much better spent  
neg	you should have heard the old guys in the crowded bathroom following the  odd couple ii  sneak preview  they were as happy a group of men as ive ever encountered   what a great movie   exclaimed one gent at the urinal   everything was so true    yeah   laughed a man standing next to him   i drive as slow as that one guy did  my kids give me holy hell for it    and peeing is a big part of my day  just like with felix   chuckled another fellow  as he fastened his trousers up around his nipples and prepared to rejoin his wife  if youre over 60 and in the habit of driving at least 20 miles per hour below the posted speed limit   neil simons the odd couple ii  may be just the film for you  others will likely be less charitable  while  the odd couple ii  is amiable enough  neil simons shockingly lazy screenplay feels like a slappedtogether tv reunion show  suffering from wheezing situation comedy setups and jokes straight out of the borschtbelt  simon  once the toast of broadway  has apparently shifted his sights from the great white way to the neighborhood multiplex in branson  missouri  the contrived story  involving the marriage of their kids  provides the excuse for a reunion between oscar madison and felix unger  who havent seen each other in 17 years  the former roommates fly into california from their respective homes for the wedding and  quite literally  run into one another at the airport  they take off in a rental car for the ceremony in san molina  get lost and have a series of  wacky  adventures on the road  jack lemmon and walter matthau reprise their roles as felix the neat freak and oscar the slob  while there is an undeniable chemistry between the pair  the impact of their reunion is lessened by the fact that theyve headlined three films together since 1993   grumpy old men    grumpier old men  and  out to sea   still  the two veteran actors are fun to watch  matthau  whose magnificently rumpled face looks like a big pile of laundry with eyes  has a field day as oscar  the crown prince of the curmudgeons  lemmon  looking pastier than usual  is fine as the ever annoying felix  who still punctuates his chronic whining with occasional allergic honks of  phnah  phnah   despite their bickering  the characters have real affection for each other  providing a welcome respite from the nonstop barrage of insults that marked their previous three films together  unfortunately  matthau and lemmons charm isnt enough to compensate for simons hack script  which wouldnt pass muster even on a upn sitcom  one contrived situation follows another  lathered with enough stale one liners to supply a dozen wouldbe comics on openmike night at the local comedy club  if someone drags you to this film and you find yourself as bored as i was  try entertaining yourself by counting the product placements  burger king gets one  as does the el pollo loco taco joint  but budget renta car really hits the jackpot  between script references to their business and shots of signs and stickers bearing their company name  i couldnt keep count of all the plugs  i did  however  keep track of some of the swearing  i came up with four  goddamns   three  shitheads  and two  fucks   the inclusion of those particular profanities seemed odd for a film aimed at an older audience  but the theater full of seniors appeared to have no problem with them  howling like crazy every time the boys let rip with a naughty word  its sad that a writer of neil simons stature has grown desperate enough to resort to swearing for cheap laughs  but not surprising when you look at what else gets passed off as humor in this tepid exercise  one running gag involves oscar and felixs inability to remember the name of the town where the wedding is to be held  at one point  the men actually spend 30 seconds just freeassociating  riffing off variants of the word  san   the sequence is so creatively bankrupt that it is simply embarrassing  one of the oldest maxims of filmgoing is  beware of movies that use the authors name in the title    neil simons the odd couple ii  is no exception to the rule  while the production has enough minor pleasures to warrant a tv viewing on some lazy sunday afternoon  it has no business playing in a movie theater  of course  theres a bathroom full of old guys who would strongly disagree with every word ive written  and would probably whip my  youngwhippersnapper  ass to boot  one things for sure  though  theyll never catch me in a car chase  
neg	the army comedy genre has never turned out a truly good movie  if you dont count neil simons biloxi blues   year after year  more predictably cliched military movies come out  most recently sgt  bilko  and none of them ever manage to be anything more than a rehash of the last  i thought stripes would be different  with ivan reitman as director  bill murray as star and harold ramis as costar and coscreenwriter  it seemed like it would be ghostbusters in the army  instead  it was a bunch of unfunny crap in the army  murray  about as funny and sophisticated here as he was in meatballs  plays a loser cab driver who sees the army as his only chance for success  and convinces his friend ramis to enlist with him  so he does  and we get the obligatory drill sergeant from hell  headshaving and marchingsinging sequences  more mindnumbingly stale here than ever  the characters are even less original  ranging from underachieving slob john candy to incompetent captain john larroquette  all the big name stars in stripes  and even larroquette  fall victim to the lame  rehashed material and are never really likeable  murray in particular  he only gets a few decent lines in  although those barelyfunny one liners pale in comparison to the hilarious peter venkman character he played three years later in ghostbusters  he was even better in caddyshack  for crying out loud  as with a lot of the late 70s  early 80s comedies  stripes is a completely juvenile movie only a child would like but is so sex obsessed no child should be able to watch it  im sure it seems funny on paper to have candy pay over 400 to mud wrestle five beautiful women  but while watching it all that was coming out of my mouth was the admonition  dear god   every few seconds  stripes isnt the playful kind of sex comedy  either  most of the time it seems downright misogynistic  as when larroquette uses his telescope to peer into the womens showers or murray lifts a female m  p  onto the stove and  with an iknowwhatyoulike look on his face  says hes going to give her the  aunt jemima treatment   which means shoving a spatula under her butt repeatedly  you dont want to stick around as the scene progresses and he uses an ice cream scoop on her genital region   im not enjoying this   the woman protests  my sentiments exactly  
neg	 mercury rising  has numerous flaws  but there is one that really stands out  its central plot device is unnecessary  thats right  the major aspect of the film  that which is supposed to make it different from other routine government conspiracy  action flicks could be dropped from the beginning  and the movie would turn out exactly the same  if not better  this central device is the fact that a nineyearold boy is autistic  his name is simon  and an evil government bureaucrat named nicholas kudrow  alec baldwin  wants him dead because he unknowingly cracked a supersecret government code slipped into the back of a puzzle magazine by its programmers just to see if someone could beat it  simon is intended to be the heart and soul of the film  and we are supposed to feel for him because he is a poor handicapped child thrown into a violent  unfair world against his will  with only a renegade fbi agent played by bruce willis to protect him  the fact that he is autistic does nothing for the emotional intensity or the plot necessities of  mercury rising   i suppose the original novel upon which the movie was based did much more with this aspect of simons character and his relationship with willis  but here it is lost  miko hughes  the young actor who plays simon  goes through the prescribed motions of being autistic  he walks slowly  drawls his words  kicks and screams when hes touched  and has a hard time looking at other people  its a difficult role for an adult  much less a young child  to play  and unfortunately hughes never convinces us that he isnt playing like hes autistic  unlike dustin hoffmans performance in  rain man  or leonardo dicaprios in  whats eating gilbert grape   we are always painfully aware that hughes is acting  however  unlike  rain man  which used its characters autism in unique and interesting ways to build a credible and touching story   mercury rising  could go right about its generic  predictable plot with simon being simply a really smart but really shy kid  hell  he doesnt even have to be shy  in fact  the movie might have been more interesting if he had had a more active role  rather than just being carted around under willis arm  willis character  art jeffries  is a disillusioned fbi agent who has been removed from undercover work and is now doing menial tasks like listening to wiretaps with rookies who are happy to be doing anything  he becomes involved with simon when he is called to check out a murder scene at simons house  where his father has apparently shot his mother in the back and then committed suicide  of course  we know that isnt the way it happened happen because we saw an evil  squarejawed government hitman with a meanlooking crewcut knock off the parents  simon was able to get away  and jeffries finds him hiding in a secret compartment in a closet  which the rest of the chicago police department had overlooked  jeffries  who is accused by several characters at different times of being paranoid although his actions never suggest it  knows there is something more  and he makes it his personal mission to go against everything and everyone in order to protect simon  this is quite a task because that same hitman who knocked off simons parents is crawling everywhere  attempting to kill simon at the hospital  on the highway  and every other place he goes  late in the movie  jeffries is forced to enlist the aid of a pretty young woman named stacey  kim dickens  who he meets at a coffee shop  of all the hardtobelieve aspects of the movie  this is the worst  i can believe in the decency of the human heart  but staceys character is far too accommodating  not only does she agree to watch simon while jeffries runs off to solve the mystery  she lets him into her apartment at two oclock in the morning when she knows the police is after him  and then lets him leave simon in her apartment which means that she has to forgo a business trip that is desperately needed to pay the rent  the grinding squeals of the rusty plot machine are almost overbearing at this point  the movie might have been redeemed by some good action sequences  but even here  mercury rising  doesnt rise to the challenge  the movie was directed by harold becker  who has made some good suspense films including  sea of love   1989  and  malice   1993   but his talent is nowhere to be found in this latest excursion  there is one fight on a streetcar between jeffries and another hitman  played by peter stormare  that is so ineptly directed  shot and edited  that i had no idea 1  exactly where they were on the streetcar  2  who was hitting who  and 3  where this hitman came from and how he knew where jeffries and simon were  the grand finale takes place on the roof of a tall building  and features a harrowing  yawn  scene where simon walks along the very edge of the building  not because he has to  but because its more suspenseful that way  taken as a whole   mercury rising  is an tepid  confused movie that lacks style  wit  and any traces of a sense of humor  usually willis brings his personal brand of understated humor to his roles  but here he is too straight and serious  this is because the movie wants to be an action flick and a heartfelt drama at the same time  but it ends up failing on both fronts  maybe the book was better  but the way its handled here is a perfect case study in formula filmmaking guaranteed to bore  
neg	i have never been a  star trek  fan  and  to tell the truth  out of the five films in the series that i have seen  1  2  3  8  9   i have disliked all of them  i do  however  always go into one of these with an open mind  and the ninth film in the series   star trek  insurrection   is no exception  dropping almost completely the hardcore scifi element of the previous one in the series   first contact    insurrection   tells the story of a planet that holds only 600 people  known as the baku  as well as the fountain of youth  at the start of the picture  the villagers go under attack by a second alien species  known as the sona  who want to push all of the baku out so that their own race will not die out  also attacking the baku is data  brent spiner   a robot from the star trek enterprise  after returning to jeanluc picard  patrick stewart  and the gang on their space ship  no one can understand why data was somehow taken over by another force  so several of the star trek members travel down to the planet of the baku  where picard meets up and starts to fall in love with one of the inhabitants  a sultry  kind alien woman  donna murphy   who is over sixhundredyearsold  but looks to only be in her thirties   star trek  insurrection   is a completely unoriginal and cheaplooking installment in the series  and is a big step down from  1996s  first contact   which at least appeared to try to make something a bit different  in   insurrection   however  it plays like a lowrent episode of the television show  due to the smallscale  generic storyline  and an emphasis on oneliners rather than excitement  the film was filled with nearly nonstop comedy  and worse yet  most of it fell flatter than a cartoon character that drops off a cliff  meanwhile  when there were action sequences  they were not at all interesting or inventive  relying on that old reliable ticking timer that counts down very  very slowly  this plot device  which is seen in just about every action film made nowadays  is getting old fast  are filmmakers so bankrupt of ingenuity and ideas that they must always have a timer ticking away during the climax  another element of   star trek   films in general is that picard seems to always have to have a love interest  but then she always miraculously disappears when the next film is made two or three years later  although donna murphy  who falls victim to this thankless love interest role here  is actually one of the few characters that we get to know in the 103minute running time  alfre woodard was far superior in   first contact   she should have returned for this one  but i dont blame her for not wanting to waste her time with this movies disappointing and often lifeless screenplay  by michael piller   star trek  insurrection   is perhaps the weakest film in the  star trek   series  although i have not seen what is widely considered the worst   star trek v  the final frontier    insurrection   is the type of  safe  sequel that will bewilder nonfans  since it is so lowtech compared to most of todays blockbuster action films  although most of these are honestly not very good  either   and should disappoint the loyal trekkies  since it could have easily been better if the makers had realized that the screenplay needed to go through a few more drafts  on second thought  they probably should have completely thrown the script out  that way  they could have come up with a story that at least had a sign of intelligence and freshness  
neg	while the summer movie season approached its long awaited cessation  we had yet another shoddy  subordinate disposable celluloid superhero movie brought on by the inexorable hasten from the major studios to please kids with everything they think kids will go for to disburse their seven bucks  and  once again  we have one of the worst films of the year  the trend of the moment and bear in mind its a trend not a movie  is spawn  and if youve seen the animated series on hbo youll recall it embodies the lost life of a disfigured man  an individual who has transpired the ultimate punishment  hes been sent to hell  todd mcfarlane  the creator of the spawn comic book  must have had a tough time sitting through spawn  for his creativity and themes about resurrection and loss of identity were all being jettisoned in favor of reliable special effects  style over substance  ambience over anything else  not only does spawn rely entirely on special effects  the story  about a bewildered individual who must take on a group of  bad guys  and  find himself  in the process is realized in such a sordid  incapable manner  it becomes indigestible after a while  every character in this film is lifeless  vacuous and seemingly written by a depressed college student  the story begins  like in every superhero movie in this age  with a man living an idyllic life  al simmons  michael jai white   a government agentassassin shares the love of his wife  wanda  theresa russell  and daughter  has a tongueincheek  wiseass partner  terry  d  b sweeney  and is content with the job his boss  jason wynn  martin sheen   provides him  the next element in the film is the part when things go awry  and as expected  everyone turns the tables on poor al  as the two are investigating their latest mission at some sort of biological weapons plant  al is befriended by jason  and dies in a gory and truly sickening scene  inevitably  it leads everyone to the conclusion that he has passed away  hence  jasons mischievous mastermind plan  to  conquer the world  is just commencing its initial stages  when al makes a pact with satan himself  agreeing to command the devils army to take over the world and he gets to see his family again  so  our pal al has been uplifted to hell  and while his transformation from normal guy to spawn takes place  his ol partner terry forms a relationship with his wife  time passes  and now spawn is present in the grotesque inner city  the ghetto where cog  nicol williamson  teaches spawn how to utilize his neat artifacts  his motorbike  armor  etc    this character is merely a poor mans obi wan kenobi without all the mythological hoopla  now the stage is set spawn  the new enemy of evil vs evil  and evil takes the cake  doubtlessly  john leguizamos deliciously heinous performance as the injurious clown working for wynn is the films relief point  all this anguish  pain  halfbaked themes and putrid action scenes are invisible to leguizamo  who steals the show and derives joy from his character  which is basically a compilation of soso one liners  and then theres martin sheen  whichever way you look you will find carving boards near his pitying and downright appalling last two years  his selections calls for an immediate firing of his agent  as the megalomaniac boss  his caricature plays like a bad dream out of a bmovie  scrambled  and left in the shelf to rot  this is the man that starred in films such as apocalypse now and wall street  id never thought id be saying this  but at this juncture  charlie sheens career is in better shape  spawn is a movie in which realism  or even an attempt to draw a parallel between the problems of the hero and real life is identifiable  for most of the film the vapid michael jai white consumes his time ogling  jumping through roofs  and performing all kinds of acrobatic exercises which even batman and robin accomplished better  it constantly reminded us we were watching a superhero movie a very bad superhero movie  continually the film kept on depending on special effects  and sadly  this is how pictures are being made  perhaps no other movie better than spawn illustrates the deterioration of cinema through computer wizardry  the filmmakers seem to have forgotten every human element possible  the quality of this film is abysmal and insulting  it is perceptible that director mark dippe  attempted to touch the psychological chord that tim burtons batman did touch  the desperation of a man whose life has all but evaporated in one spontaneous act  but bruce wayne had human elements to him  he was pensive  resourceful and had relationships  which made our perspective on him equally human  the character of al simmons seems to be longing for a drastic change  as if hes fatigued about being normal  and as all superheroes  batman  superman  the phantom  they must possess an element of normal civilians to make us think they are extraordinary  none of this is present in spawn  the fighting sequences are weakly executed  the dialogue is pennydreadful and the art direction an odious duplicate of blade runners  as an example of this films vastly creative imagination the writers of spawn decided to include a poor orphan boy who is abandoned and beaten  and then rescued by spawn  so our emotions tend to be a little more sympathetic  admittedly  i did laugh once in the film  and thats when todd mcfarlane showed up in an unexpected cameo as a bum  it is no wonder why so american children grow up with no engrossment for art or literature  besides blaming a large portion of it on the laughable school system  i condemn the other part to garbage like spawn  movies that present no admiration  no captivation  no richness and vague interest in what children are being subjected to  and kids will continue to see films like spawn  simply because they are unable to differentiate what makes an imaginative  wondrous film from an insipid and wasteful one  children are not muppets  and spawn unapologetically targets children  
neg	its not a bad thing to update old stories  its done all the time in the oral tradition  the difficulty with this film is not that the tale has changed  its that its dry  the new cinderella  danielle  drew barrymore  is not sitting around waiting for her prince to come  shes a woman of the late twentieth century albeit situated in sixteenth century france  when her father dies  she stays on in his house even though she is mistreated by her wicked stepmother rodmilla  anjelica huston   she works by day  but reads sir thomas more by firelight at night  although the story is updated  you know the plot  danielle meets prince henry  dougray scott   goes to a ball disguised  is later found out and they live happily ever after  the movie is often like watching a filmed play  theater in real life is engrossing  theater on the screen is usually lifeless  there doesnt seem to be much going on  the camera can be a star of films  here its a coconspirator  danielles convictions are compromised  a socialist and a feminist  she pretends to be royalty to get her man  a kind woman  her last act in the movie is one of revenge  the most enjoyable characters are the most cartoonish  the fairy godmother standin  leonardo da vinci  patrick godfrey  is fun to watch as the eccentric old man who advises danielle  huston is enjoyable in her overthetop wickedness  in all fairness  my companion loved the film  maybe its one of those  chick flicks  that men dont like  it is certainly a date film  nearly the entire audience was couples  oh well  maybe its good for something  
neg	i suppose its unfair to criticize a movie like hudson hawk  which has been panned by reviewers and moviegoers alike since its 1991 release  michael lehmanns actioncomedy was quick to win the title biggest box office flop of all time  or close thereof  the movie stars bruce willis as renowned cat burglar hudson hawk  whos just been released from sing sing prison after many years in isolation  let me put it this way   he explains  i never saw et   greeting him is his old friend and partner in crime  played by danny aiello   who becomes the subject of many amusing fat jokes  these are rather welcome in a movie filled with so many completely unfunny sight gags  cartoonish villains and unbelievable coincidences  it appears as if director lehmann didnt know when to stop all the absurd silliness  and he piles on layer after layer of utter ridiculousness as the movie propels itself toward the finish line  if at some point during hudson hawk you make the assumption that things couldnt get goofier  youll soon be eating your words  but  im inclined to say that this film is not quite as terrible as its box office numbers suggest  its fastpaced and entertaining  if youve got incredible patience and a warped sense of humor  for the first portion of this review  im going to try and center on the positive aspects of hudson hawk  wish me luck  first and foremost  bruce willis is a good sport  while im not entirely sure what he was smoking when he cowrote this script  willis is quite aware that the entire project is a big  fat  ugly joke  he constantly gives deadpan reactions to things that are very silly and outofplace  which means he has more than his share of deadpan reactions  another plus is the appearance of andie macdowell as a schizophrenic nun and love interest for the title character  they meet when hudson goes on a mission to steal a priceless book from the vatican  and their relationship escalates in interest from there  its unfortunate that mcdowells onenote character is used just as an excuse for there to be a predictable plottwist  and she offers absolutely no encouraging chemistry with willis  but now im rambling on again about the negative things  arent i  enough of the charade  for the most part  hudson hawk is an excruciating experience  its stupid  pointless and repetitive  i can only wonder what bruce willis fans thought after exiting the theater  because this film really doesnt have the potential to please anyone  action fans should take note that hudson hawk is composed of 90 comedy  and even the action sequences are skittery  rushed and poorly edited  and those expecting a hearty laugh or two will find it difficult even to smirk during all of the headacheinducing hijinks  dont get me wrong  this film is not devoid of laughs  its too bad most of them are unintentional  or just plain forced  the impressive cast looks suitably embarrassed  its understandable to see willis and aiello in a movie of this caliber  but as for the presence of future academy award winner james coburn im not entirely sure  coburn plays a former nemesis of the hawk who again comes into play  and he looks unsure of his place the entire movie  especially when he resorts to martial arts during the final showdown  and has a fight with willis that would look right at home in a jackie chan film  things get more bizarre when were introduced to his team of rejects named after chocolate bars  including future nypd blue star david caruso as the speechless  cardflipping kitkat  if thats not enough for you  theres richard e  grant and sandra bernhard hamming it up as a deranged couple on the brink of a convoluted economic takeover  their crotchbiting pooch provides a couple of the big laughs here  wait  maybe the only big laughs    im not sure what kind of movie everyone had in mind when filming hudson hawk  i cant even begin to start about the films absurd plot  but lets not get into that  i suppose theres some amusement viewers could derive from the ridiculous premise  if they were that desperate  but hudson hawk never even has a clue of where its going from minute one  and from there its 90 minutes of pure cinematic muck  
neg	if there were a subject just screaming to be made into a film  it was studio 54  the late steve rubells infamous new york discotheque  which came to symbolize the taboosmashing excesses of the disco eras heyday  easy drugs and even easier sex between everyone  all set to a thumping dance beat  so when miramax started production on 54 last year  the buzz of hype and resulting anticipation began  an edgy film as downanddirty as the club itself  written and directed by a promising firsttimer  mark christopher  and starring some hot young talent  salma hayek  neve campbell  newcomer ryan phillippe  and mike myers in his dramatic debut   my  how easily does the worm turn  hype turned into damage control when word got out about 11thhour reshoots  wrapped only a month ago   a rash of studioimposed edits that left virtually the entire cast and crew  especially christopher  unhappy  and the very likely possibility that miramax would not screen the finished film for critics  at the last minute  though  miramax did decide to screen the film  so hastily scheduled was the screening that myerss last name was misspelled on the invitation  not to mention the numerous typos in the press notes  for a media audience that came away noticeably less than impressed  myself included  and with good reasonsomehow  some way  the supremely disappointing 54 has made the historically hip haven of hedonism    boring  although christopher has distanced himself from the finished film  he still must shoulder some of the blame for 54s lifelessness  54 focuses  for the most part  on a tightknit trio of employees at the club  coat check girlaspiring disco diva anita  a wasted hayek   her busboy husband  greg  breckin meyer   and  most prominently  the freshfromjersey shane oshea  phillippe   who enjoys a quick rise from busboy to head bartender  these characters are about as generic as those descriptions  in focusing on the hired help  christopher really missed the boat  with the exception of the flamboyant  alwayswoozy rubell  myers  in a wellmodulated turn   the meaty stories to be told at studio 54 are not the workers but those of the people who went there to party  not necessarily the numerous vip guests  but the wild eccentrics who managed to be picked from the crowd by the clubs famously hardass doormen and dance  among other things  the night away with the rich  famous  and infamous  the only taste of the crowd comes by way of ellen dows feisty dottie  a disco and drugcrazed granny  but shes a peripheral character at best   as such  aside from the expected overhead crowd shots  there is precious little actual dancing in 54  what is a disco filmespecially one about the pinnacle of the movementwithout the dancing  even whit stillmans thelastdaysofdisco  which wasnt so much concerned with disco as it was witty dialogue within a group of hiptoonlythemselves clubhopping preppies  featured at least one extended dance scene  dancing isnt the only thing glazed over in 54so is the sex  but that may not be entirely christophers fault  from what ive heard  his original vision was something considerably more dark and daring  starting with the shane character  he was conceived  and actually filmed  as a wild  morally ambiguous bisexual  which would have made an efficient springboard to cover the pansexual pleasure palace aspect of studio 54s legend  but somewhere between principal photography and the final cut  shane was defanged and quite literally straightened out  consequently  so was the film  aside from a brief glimpse of erotic encounters toward the beginning of the film  shanes fleeting dalliance with seductive socialite billie  sela ward   and an abbreviated bedhopping montage  the sexual dimension is just about ignored  shane  in this incarnation  is sanitized to the point of blandness  an idealistic dogooder who pines for a frequent guest at the club  julie black  campbell   a worldly soap star with  yes  a heart of gold  this tackedon  romance  would have been slightly less tedious if either campbell or phillippe made some connection with each other or the audience  they fail on both counts  ultimately  54s failure comes down to three letters  fun  as in  there isnt any to be had for the audience  too much time is spent with the boring shane  and too little is spent on the club floor  where all the action took place  anyhow  though  whatever time is spent on the 54 floor is not used very effectively  when anita finally gets her big break and perform onstage at the club  it should be a euphoric height  for her  the crowd  and the audience  however  the moment doesnt get a chance to reach that level  for it is cut short by a moment of forced sentimentality  which also mars the films conclusion  one of the lastminute reshoots   strangely upbeat and wistful  the resolution is wholly unconvincing and unsatisfying  there is an interesting portrait of studio 54 out theretwo of them  in factbut 54 is not one of them  theyre on cable tv  a couple of documentaries produced by e  and vh1  these two fascinating looks at the club and all the sordid goingson within it show that theres still a great disco movie to be made  the problem is  after the critical and certain box office failure of 54  the subject may have run its hollywood course  
neg	a hotshot lawyer gets an obviously guilty child molester acquitted  and shortly after during the victory celebration gets offered an opportunity to show his prowess in new york city  the lawyer  kevin lomax  keanu reeves  is not offered a job yet  he is asked to simply pick a jury  he accepts  the jury he selects work out well and before long he is offered a job with the firm  making his decision easy is the fact that not only is he offered big money  but a gorgeous apartment  he convinces his wife  mary ann  charlize theron  to make the move to new york  the first case given to him is a big test  a  winless  case concerning a man who sacrifices animals in his basement  the charge was health code violations and kevin once again shows his skill and earns an acquittal  his new boss and partner in the firm  john milton  al pacino  is quite impressed and takes kevin under his wing  explaining many of his philosophies on law  women and sex  and angles the promise of a blissful  wealthy life  kevins next case is a dream case  given to him by milton himself  much to the chagrin to his colleagues   defending a triple murder suspect who has had a history of problems with the law  although kevins career is taking off  his home life is not doing very well  mary ann is starting to have numerous problems  she is experiencing severe depression over kevins long hours  and before long is having horrible dreams and hallucinations of people turning into ghouls  their faces becoming horribly disfigured  kevin does not help matters by dismissing his wife  he does not spend more time with her as he explains to milton that he needs to spend as much time on the case as possible to get it over with  then focus all of his attention on his wife  not helping matters is the fact that kevin is having ideas about a possible affair with a sexy lawyer  connie nielson  also working with the firm  mary ann falls deeper into her madness as kevin spends more time away from home  kevin eventually looses control of his life and has to institutionalize his wife  and gets disturbing news from his mother  judith ivey  about the mystery concerning the identity of his father  he also starts to lose control of his case  kevin learns that all of his problems have been caused by the work of one man  that man is his boss  mr  milton  a truly evil character who just may be the devil himself  kevin must somehow confront milton and thwart whatever diabolical plan he has in store  but how do you defeat the devil  why is it that most courtroom scenes in the movies are absurd  do filmmakers really believe that  normal  courtroom drama doesnt fit the bill and they have to juice them up  the courtroom scenes in this movie would never happen in a real courtroom  which wouldnt have been too bad if it werent keanu reeves trying to pull it off  i give reeves credit for trying hard  but throughout the movie i never saw the kevin lomax character  just an actor trying very hard to play kevin lomax and coming up short  charlize theron defines the term  overthetop  in her performance as mary ann lomax  a disappointment in contrast to her good performance in  2 days in the valley   the only good performance in the movie is by al pacino  but i kept asking myself what the heck he was doing in this mess  maybe he felt it would be interesting playing the devil  and you can tell he is having fun doing so  but his skill as an actor cannot save the poor performances and lackluster script that surround him  its pretty standard stuff  including the fact that the hotshot lawyer appears to be the only competent person on the planet who can do anything right in the courtroom  please read no further if you do not want the ending spoiled  but i have to get something off of my chest  in 1986 i remember watching a movie called  wisdom  with emilio estevez and demi moore  and the ending of that film did the worst possible thing that a movie could do  what i like to call  guess what  it was all a dream  scenario  in  wisdom  the two lead characters are killed at the end  only to have one of the characters  wake up  from an apparent and say  gosh  im glad that didnt really happen    i considered it inexcusable the way the audience was toyed with  well  the same thing happens in  the devils advocate   and although arguments could be made surrounding whether it was actually a dream  perhaps milton went back in time to try a different route for his plan  since it failed and he is the devil   but the point is that the last 90 of the film didnt happen  i know its a stretch  after all it is a movie and nothing really happened  but i just get annoyed to get toyed with like that  of course  the dream ending could almost be forgiven if the story that precedes it was at least an interesting one  as i recall   wisdom  was a decent film   the devils advocate  is not  the devils advocate directed by taylor hackford john milton                   al pacino kevin lomax                 keanu reeves mary ann lomax            charlize theron mrs  lomax                   judith ivey eddie barzoon                jeffrey jones christabella                   connie nielson written by randy turgeon  march 18  1998  
neg	the spy game is up  you can thank charlies angels  the movie  for that  when did banality and pandering become okay  just steal from hong kong  the matrix  and a kitschy tv show from the mid1970s and thats a movie  charlies angels is one of the worst examples of action film homogeneity and shameless duplicity in any film ive seen in ages  charlies angels is dumb  just plain dumb  as we all know  three of the hottest females on the planet  drew barrymore  cameron diaz  and lucy liu  are three superagents working for the mysterious millionaire named charlie  they all drive fast cars  look ohsofabulous even in the morning  and dont seem to get a scratch even when fighting armed men  having buildings explode ten feet in front of them  or flying through the air in matrix slowmotion  and while the entourage spends 90 minutes romping around in cleavagebusting wetsuits  cleavagebusting waitress uniforms  and cleavagebusting wet tshirts  they scarcely succeed in resembling so much as a group of annoying  drunk sorority girls  the kind who hit on everybody at a party  the actual plot revolves around the ridiculous story of a millionaire computer engineer  the great sam rockwell  who gets kidnapped by a mysterious rival computer company  of course  the rival wants control of his new personal identification system  which involves such latterday buzzwords as gps  cellular tracking  and even mainframe  the amazing crispin glover lends his acting chops as a crazed henchmen involved in all the nasty things that happen to the angels  like battling each of them in many roundrobin matrix ripoff  again  fight sequences and harboring a strange attraction to slicedoff locks of the angels hair  the coup de grace is bill murray as bosley  serving as charlies manservant  or  more to the point  the angels pimp  the rest of the movie comprises a revenge arc  enough costume changes to fill three productions of les miserables  carboncopy fight sequences that would lend credible evidence to a jackie chan and the wachowski brothers lawsuit for intellectual property theft  and the strange transformation of sam rockwell into mickey rourkes longlost brother  charlies angels starts off with a bang and ends up being a soggy burrito left out overnight  nothing is difficult  plausible  or believable in any of the angels actions  it feels like the matrix  mission  impossible 2  and cleopatra jones and the casino of gold all rolled into one  diaz is a knucklehead  barrymore is the  dangerous one   mean and tough and about as believable as katie holmes in the role  liu is just    lucy liu  looking good in a skintight black leather suit  the list of movies from which charlies angels is directly lifted is equally astonishing  the writers apparently ran the copier all night stealing scenes from armageddon  lethal weapon ii  all of jackie chans movies  the great escape  saturday night fever  revenge of the nerds  payback  darkman  dr  no  the matrix  as mentioned   and even tvs friends  its a shame  too  because one of the many screenwriters  john august  was at the helm of last years favorite  go  then again  what can you expect from a director known solely as  mcg   there is no camp value in the film  no interesting main characters  no invigorating action scenes  no reason at all to waste your time except to ogle the hot chicks and enjoy the performances of a few supporting players  note to hollywood  next time  lets leave the tv shows on the tv  
neg	i have always been a fan of director neil jordan  from his early work  such as 1984s  the company of wolves   to 1992s  the crying game   and 1994s  interview with a vampire   his latest film   the butcher boy   is a return to his roots in ireland  but unfortunately  it is not a successful homecoming  told through the eyes of a 12yearold irish boy  francis  newcomer eomann owens   this peculiar film follows him as we learn a little about his decidedly unstable life  his father  stephen rea  is an indifferent alcoholic  his mother  fiona shaw  is mentally ill and always in and out of hospitals  and francis himself delights in terrorizing the mother of one of his friends after he is forbidden to see him anymore  francis is the type of boy who always has a lot to say  but mostly fluctuates between sarcasm and frightening honesty  and it quickly becomes apparent that he may very well be a little psychotic  even capable of brutal murder  the premise of   the butcher boy   is one that could have very well been turned into a thoughtprovoking  disturbing motion picture  but somehow nothing works  francis is in almost every scene  but we learn very little about him  as if the film was distancing itself away from him when  i suspect  we were actually supposed to sympathize with him  this is definately not young owens fault  however  because he gives a brilliantly accurate performance  and is able to also seem menacing as well  the fact that we dont get close to his character is because of the sloppy screenplay  the supporting characters are no help  though  rea is wasted  and has practically no scenes where he actually talks to his son  or to anyone else for that matter  he usually seems to just be sitting watching the television throughout  shaw has a little bit more to work with  since she has one touching scene in which she talks to francis in a time of despair  but is out of the picture just as we are beginning to know her  and singer sinead oconnor appears rather effectively as the virgin mary who occasionally gives francis advice  the pacing is all off in   the butcher boy   although the story could have been dynamite  it moves at a deadeningly slow rate  and i found my mind wandering every once in a while  it is also very episodic  because the developments in the story fly by with no satisfying payoffs  at one point  francis is sent away to a juvenile prison  and an odd  possibly sexual relationship begins to develop between a priest and himself  but nothing comes of it  id rather think of   the butcher boy   as a brief diversion for director jordan  rather than a total misfire  he has already proven to be a strong director  but he lucked out with this latest film  what could have been a courageous  unsettling character study of an emotionally disturbed young boy  only manages to be an ineffective  uninvolivng bore  
neg	as you should know  this summer has been less than memorable  with a total of 4 decent films  its not a surprise that these big budget failures keep appearing  with that said  you can pretty much predict what my opinion on  the 13th warrior  will be  the film is based on the michael crichton  eaters of the dead   in which ahmed ibn fahdlan is banished from his country for looking at a wife of a king  after tarveling for many months  he comes across a gang of norsemen  who are forced to pick 13 men to protect a town from mythical monsters who travel in the fog  so  they start picking men  and are left without 1  thus ahmed is choosen  so far it sounds interesting right  not when all of this takes place in 15 minutes  after that  they basically run around killing  that alone shows how much a script is needed for a film  because once your story is introduced  you have the rest of the film to start developing it  obviously thats not the case here  even if you are going into the film expecting an action packed adventure  you will be disappointed  since all the action takes place in fog  it is constantly hard to see a scene clearly due to those circumstances  and to poor camera work  cant the camera men sit still  id like to actually watch a film in focus  but again  they failed to deliver that as well  the film moves on and on until the point  where you can care less about anything but the popcorn youre eating  with corny dialogue  that the characters laugh at for some odd reason  a script that goes nowhere  dull action sequences  a predictable ending  and worst of all weak characters  theres basically nothing to like here  except for maybe the set designs  thats the only thing that honestly caught my interest  when i heard that john mctiernan  the director  wanted his name kept out of the project  that made me wonder why  well now i know  crichtons greed forced mctiernan to edit his finished product  which led to a big arguement  whats there to argue about anyway  the film couldnt be saved  no matter how much they spent or casted  seeing films like the haunting and big daddy making money  i wouldnt be surprised to see  the 13th warrior  become a hit  please do me a favor and save your money at all costs  or else you will be lost in the fog  like the film itself  
neg	if i were one of those arrogant critics who thinks his review has some great impact on the success or failure of certain films  i might say that i review movies that dont look particularly good because im doing a service to my readers by warning them against seeing it  if that were true  i could put a banner at the top of my site that reads   shay casey  seeing bad movies so you dont have to   but i know thats bunkyoure going to see whatever movies you want to no matter what i say  so i have to tell the truth  every once in a while i get a nasty  masochistic urge to see a bad movie  you know the feeling  when youre sick of seeing all these damn academy award contenders and you want to see something you can have a ball trashing mercilessly  sometimes i think thats why anyone goes to see pauly shore movies  ever  admit it  sometimes you like seeing bad movies  so do i  so i saw  supernova   truth be told   supernova  wasnt quite as bad as i thought it might be  maybe i just felt sorry for the actors  or maybe i thought it could have been decent if the studio hadnt started tinkering with the directors  walter hill  final cut  causing him to want his name removed  maybe im becoming a softy  in any case  i didnt find  supernova  as bad as the advance buzz would have me believe  but its still bad  the film takes place aboard the medical space vessel  nightingale   the crew includes captain a  j  marley  robert forster   his new second officer nick vanzant  james spader   head medical officer kaela evers  angela bassett   medical technicians yerzy penalosa  lou diamond phillips  and danika lund  robin tunney   and computer technician benj sotomejor  wilson cruz   there are some attempts at  characterization   but all that means is that nick has a shady past involving a drug addiction  which puts kaela on edge  yerzy and danika have a relationship that requires them to make kissyfaces at each other every five minutes  and benj  apparently gay  is in love with the computer  apparently female   dont expect any more explanation  because you wont get it  anyway  the crew gets a distress call from a location deep in space to which a failed mining operation had been sent  during the dimension jump  i think thats what its called  but dont hold me to it   the captain is killed and the man who sent the distress signal  peter facinelli  is brought on board  he calls himself troy larson  making him the supposed son of a man kaela once had a relationship with  then a bunch of really predictable stuff starts happening  have you seen  alien   have you seen  event horizon   a lame movie in its own right   good  then youve seen  supernova   postproduction cuts or not  there is nothing original about this screenplay  and nothing unpredictable either  after all  no ones going to think for a second that troy wont turn out to be a villain  but the bigger problem with  supernova  is that it can t just stick to the simple plot its afforded  numerous rewrites  the script may be credited to three people  but its a gross underestimate  have crammed this lean 90minute film with tons of extraneous plot threads that all remain underdeveloped  was there something about a limping robot shaped like a fighter pilot  did the ships computer learn something about humanity  what was that glowing lava lamp artifact troy brought on board with him  and just what does the films title signify  if anything  as far as i can tell  it refers to a very small plot detail that isnt developed  just like the rest of these unnecessary story elements  character relationships in this film also make very little sense  for some reason  every person in this film keeps having sex  we get an unusually early sex scene between phillips and tunney within the first 10 minutes  bassett and spaders characters start off hating each other  fifteen minutes and one bottle of pear brandy later  theyre engaging in some hankypanky  when troy the creepy stranger shows up on the ship  of course both female crew members will fall in love with him  every single shift in character interaction happens extremely suddenly  which is only one of the many obvious clues to how much this film has been cut  the most prominent example  however  may be the fact that when the film starts  there are no opening credits  furthermore  the end of the film looks like they took what were originally intended to be the opening credits and spliced them in right before the real end credits  maybe thats why the films title is mentioned twice during the end credits  right between james spader and robert forster  right after you get over the shock of not being told what movie youre seeing  lest you decide to walk out upon making that discovery   you might notice that the movie seems to have dropped you right in the middle of a scene  with littletono introduction to any of the characters or situations  the rest of the movie feels like they skipped over the middle stuff in the character changes  you know  where they explain things  and just went from point a to point b  point a  danika is thoroughly enamored of yerzy and is ready to have his baby  point b  tunney is now shagging troy and yerzy is unusually obsessed with the lava lamp thing  doesnt make sense  since i didnt understand anything about these characters motivations  did i care when troy abruptly starts murdering them onebyone  and he does  knocking off three of them in about 10 minutes   not a whit  its a shame  because this cast contains a lot of talented actors looking for something to do  they dont find it  bassett and spader say every line in the same monotone voice with the same blank expressions on their faces  sexual tension  more like constipation  maybe theyre just embarrassed at having to utter such howlers as  this thing was made by someone more powerful than god and a whole lot less nice   not that we ever find out who that is  mind you  the climax of their relationship  taking place in a transport pod  is probably the films biggest foreheadslapper  as troy  peter facinelli inhabits the most obvious villain in history that no one ever suspected  he s awfully onenote  but its not as if hes given any more notes to work with  the rest of the cast does even less  tunney stands around looking cute  then scared  phillips broods  cruz flirts with the computer  then they all die and a star blows up or something  but i really wasnt paying much attention by then   supernova  is pretty awful  but im cutting it a little slack merely because i expected less than what i got  thats it  if you expect it to be good  for whatever reasons you may have   youll probably hate it more than i will  even the special effects are fairly unimpressive  nothing you haven t seen before  and suffice to say the script isnt going to save the film  honestly  though  what do you expect from a film with about a dozen writers and a director who had his name removed and replaced with a pseudonym  it usually results in a bad movie  and thats what  supernova  is  
neg	for timing reasons having to do with baby sitters  we recently went to a multiplex and saw undercover blues  i would give it one half of a star for guts  anyone in a movie this bad would have to have guts  i later read a ny times review that said kathleen turner and dennis quaid had gotten so plump they looked like they had the mumps in the show  the script was the worst part  they had characters who talked with funny accents in an attempt to make you laugh  they had lots of  great  sight gags like two people trying to go in a door together and therefore bumping shoulders against the door  turner and quaid both kept smiling like some idiots on a game show  the good news is that we were smart enough to vote with our feet and left  buy some tickets and give them to your worst enemies  tell them the show is great and smile a lot       one of the top few films of this or any year  a must see film      excellent show  look for it     average movie  kind of enjoyable    poor show  dont waste your money  0  one of the worst films of this or any year  totally unbearable  review written on  september 29  1993 opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employers  
neg	the obvious reason for producing a sequel to an immensely popular movie is to acquire continued profits  the rationale is sound  but in many cases of this and recent years  the sequel is a shoddy product thats exposed for the cashmilking vehicle it really is  last years speed 2 and scream 2  as well as this years species ii have all been products that have been decisively less than satisfactory  in some cases  a sequel can even discredit its predecessor  as with the latest neoslasher flick  i still know what you did last summer  whatever uniqueness the original mightve had now seems trite and overplayed when paired with this abominable thriller  julie james  jennifer love hewitt  and ray bronson  freddie prinze jr   are back from the original to star in i still know  reprising their roles in typical fashion  julie and ray experience a rather predictable fallingout at the beginning of the movie  leaving the door wide open for newcomer will benson  matthew settle   will and julie hit it off  and along with friends karla  brandy norwood  and tyrell  mekhi phifer   the foursome heads off to a radio stationgiveaway vacation in the tropics  unfortunately  things arent so peachy once they arrive  and with a regularity you could set your watch by  the infamous fisherman  muse watson  is back with his hook  its another bloody showdown  complete with cliffhanger ending  theres not much thats original about i still know  and with the market saturated by genx thrillers like this one  its unlikely that i still know will get any recognition other than that of a bad sequel  for diehard fans of the genre  this will be required viewing material  but the bottom line is that the material here is just recycled from the original i know what you did last summer  the aura of thrillerism surrounding the plot isnt heightened by skillful scripting or camera work  but rather a tense  stringbased score and manipulative editing  the man with the hook ends up becoming very belittled this time around when the script gives him too many lines of dialogue  he goes from being a scary figure to a nutcase in a few short and painful moments  much of the mystery is dropped for the sake of getting the point  the whole reason the plot exists  julie and karla must guess the capital of brazil in order to win the trip from the radio station  is a dead giveaway  lessening suspense and creating a hurryupandwait timing problem  and  whereas the killers identity mightve been a question in the first movie  its almost a given here  which changes the dynamic of the movie drastically  three or four teens run automatically from a man in a rain slicker they nonchalantly refer to as  the killer   theyre almost used to it  and the performances show it  not hewitt  nor prinze  nor brandy  nor phifer give a decent show  and so  in the end  its left wide open for a third movie and  most likely  a brand new supporting cast  god help us  
neg	im a dedicated fan of writer kevin williamsons work  he always finds a clever way to spice up old material with witty dialogue and fresh ideas that stem from his inventive brain  with teaching mrs  tingle  his directorial debut  williamson has reached the end of his rope  what used to be intelligent about his films is hopelessly stale here  the components are all there  including an encouraging premise that all high school students can relate to  but where are the thrills  the laughs  both are supposedly absent from this draggy exercise in elaborate revenge  and what a shame that is  i loved the scream films  heck  i even enjoyed the scifi goofiness of the faculty  kevin williamson was the reason horror films were such a big draw at the box office  teaching mrs  tingle  a black comedy that will leave a gaping void in his optimistic followers  may put an end to his reign  or perhaps it will encourage him to spend more time perfecting a script than to worry about his directing duties  i still have my faith  but i fear the name of kevin williamson may soon be a forgotten echo of the past  the title character of his pet project is a vicious  uncaring history teacher who is played deliciously overthetop by british actress helen mirren  mrs  tingle is basically every students worst nightmare  a heartless human being bent on distributing poor marks to even the most hardworking of her pupils  the principal  michael mckean  is horrified of her  and she is unanimously despised among her fellow staff members  i enjoyed the fact that everyone in the hallway quickly steers out of her way  mirrens performance is one of the very few delights in this distressingly hollow black comedy that goes down like a flat soft drink  in other words  its a poor substitute for williamsons best work  the plot is a big problem here  material that could have been enjoyable is rendered totally ridiculous by poor handling on the part of the director  the likable katie holmes plays leigh ann  an overachiever hoping to get a college scholarship  but typical mrs  tingle says her history project  which she worked on for countless hours  is laughable  later on while studying in the gymnasium  a classmate  barry watson  offers her a photocopied duplicate of mrs  tingles final exam  leigh anns best friend  marisa coughlan  encourages her to use it  alas  the old hag herself finds the three scheming  and snatches the test  and prepares to talk to the principal in the morning  in the morning    how convenient  the three students head to mrs  tingles house  attempting to set the facts straight and clear leigh anns name  things get out of hand  and the teacher gets knocked unconscious in a tussle  the plan is to tie her to a bed and try to get some reasoning out of her  of course  not everything goes entirely to plan  besides pointless subplots involving the football coach  jeffrey tambor  horribly wasted   there is little by way of actual progress  there is no urgency to the situation  little tension or laughs are involved  the humor is completely inconsistent  after many of the jokes  the theater was so silent i could have heard a fly sneeze  you continue to await some momentum in the story  something that could possibly revive the slow pace  a moment like that never arises  williamson also does a handsome job of wasting some of the key supporting players  including the talented mckean and larry sanders vet tambor  and the beautiful vivica a  fox has one lifeless scene as a caring guidance counselor  and then williamson disposes of her character entirely  on the plus side  holmes and coughlan are admirable  with the latter giving a frighteningly believable exorcism impression   and molly ringwald has an amusing cameo appearance as a substitute teacher  while everything is pretty lifeless  teaching mrs  tingle remains watchable  there are a few promising ideas that pop up now and again  but anything remotely interesting is squandered by the inane script  mirren is easily the best reason to keep watching  she is convincingly evil and fun to watch  but even her gifted delivery cant save individual scenes that flounder in boredom  if there is one word for the movie surrounding her  it would be disappointing  basically  kevin williamson is his worst enemy here  his uneventful direction prevents any aspects of his screenplay to be appreciated  not that his writing here is especially good   we will see  when rookie screenwriter ehren kruger writes the third installment in the scream franchise this christmas  whether williamson is for real  
neg	a film that means well  but is too pushy in promoting its belabored point and too sentimental to be compelling as a drama  its jeroen krabb  s melodrama about a community of jews in antwerp in 1972 who cant forget their bitter past  the heroine is an attractive  carefree  nonreligious 20yearold  chaja  fraser   who wants to forget her jewish roots by getting involved in student demonstrations  screwing a student rebel leader  and living with her gentile friends away from her nagging mother  s  gebrecht  and her selfabsorbed  eccentric father  schell   her parents are survivors of the holocaust concentration camps  and her home life is filled with angst  her mother is in denial about the past always busying herself by cooking soup and baking cakes and complaining about everything  while her father is more openly loving but has recently been absorbed in searching for two suitcases filled with mementos  a family album  silverware  and his old violin  he buried them in a garden during the war while fleeing the nazis  but cant locate them now due to all the changes in the city  out of frustration after quitting her job as a dishwasher and facing eviction from her apartment  she reluctantly accepts a job as a nanny with an hasidic couple that an old man in her parents apartment building  mr  apfelschnitt  topol   tells her about  the hasidics are ultraorthodox  they dont go to the cinema or watch tv  adhere to strict dress codes  and strictly observe their religious laws  chaja is at first put off by the way they expect her to follow their rules  but soon finds the wife  mrs  kalman  rossellini   to be kind and she becomes attached to one of her 5 children  a 4yearold named simcha  monty  who doesnt talk  the stern mr  kalman  krabb   is not friendly to her and considers her to be a whore because of the way she dresses  to hammer home the point of how antisemitism hasnt gone away theres a barrage of overdone and uninvolving scenes with a sneering concierge  bradley   who keeps making nasty remarks about jews and tries to make things inconvenient for them by preventing the jewish family from using the elevator  the film is done in by its hamfisted script as the story  adapted from carl friedmans book  the shovel and the loom   goes from one false note to another until it gets lost in all the goo of its sentimentality  it starts off telling chajas story of how shes a lost jewess trying to find her identity  then to her nanny role as she loves a mute child stuck in an insulated environment  and then it makes it a story about the lingering effects of the bitter past that cant be forgotten  the effort seemed heavyhanded  as the film kept delivering too many obvious messages that it ponderously kept delivering through the stock characters  the supporting cast consists of all wooden characters who give their roles a cartoonish flavoring  chajas parents are given no human shades  while the janitor villain was a particularly annoying role that was onedimensional and falsely acted  the only ones who fought through the script and showed some feelings were fraser  whose effervescent face was expressive of both the trying times she was going through and the joys she felt  but most admirably showing how she could be so mistaken as to think that she could forget her roots  while rossellini gave a warm performance of a woman suffering in silence  but is strong in accepting her faith  topols reassuring performance as the wise man who says all the right things to fraser  acts as the true voice of the filmmaker in explaining all the sufferings with common sense  the film brazenly uses little simcha to get across its agenda of pointing out how the patriarchal world can be cruel when it cant love  it starts out by showing how under chajas loving care hes taken to the duck pond and soon starts jabbering away  beginning by saying quack  quack and then going on to ask the four questions during a passover seder  but by showing how the boy is so terrified of his strict father that he wets his pants in his presence  refuses to speak because of his stern dad  and eventually becomes the victim of a tragic accident  the film thereby exploits the boys sufferings and his story just becomes tiresome and not sincerely done  i felt i didnt just see a movie  but i attended a lecture for the whole 100 minutes of this serious but unappetizing story  it was the kind of movie that you hoped would somehow end soon  as it seemed to be in the habit of rehashing its same viewpoint unnecessarilythe message it keeps sending was already received  in the last shot where father and daughter are hopelessly digging for the lost luggage  one has the impression that no one in the film learned anything about themselves or the past  that seems strange  since i thought that was what this film was supposed to be about  unless i was mistaken and the films real aim was to make us cry over simcha  
neg	the tagline for this film is   some houses are just born bad   so i didnt expect too much from this  but i had preserved a little spark of ope as i entered the theatre  i thought  liam neeson  cathrine zeta jones and jan de bont  i thought  mabe it will be fun  and in fact the beginning was rather intriguing  but by the end of it i thought  why liam neeson and cathrine zeta jones  jan de bont   these great actors are basically helpless with this muddled mess that defies any rationality  here is the story  in the monstrously overdecorated mansion known as hill house  visitors are tricked by an unknown doctor  liam neeson  into being guinea pigs in a fright experiment under the guise of an insomnia investigation  among them is a sophisticated bisexual  cathrine zeta jones   a cynical dope  owen wilson  and a gentle and emotional lady  lily taylor   actually  the doctor is researching the  primordial fear reaction  and intends to plant disturbing ideas in his subjects and watch what happens  but he gets unexpected help from the house itself  it rumbles  hums and belches forth remarkable sights  portals become veiny stainedglass eyeballs  a fireplace guarded by stone lions gapes like a sinister mouth  filmy cherubic spirits take shape under sheets and billowy curtains  but the computerized spooketeria rarely feels real  placing an emotional wall between audience and screen  the second half of the film is basically about the main heroine running back and forth from the sinister lamps and evil furniture  is that exciting or what  the worst thing about it is that it didnt have to be bad  its based on a great book  the haunting of hill house   by shirley jackson  a 1963 adaptation of the book was scary and intelligent  it played with the greatest fears of our sub conscience   the blair witch project   that cost less than an old car  managed to shock and terrify the audiences from their senses  and with a 70 mill  budget  de bont and screenwriter david self make hash out of a perfectly lovely piece of terror  de bont has a style of filmmaking so out of line with the material that it is  in itself  frightening  he is the master of the extravagant special effect and the big visual adrenaline rush  but why give him a more serious material  in the end  haunting  will only haunt its fledgling studio  dream works skg  and de bonts career as a director  yet it wouldnt be fair to say that everything is bad  the effects are truly impressive and the house is wonderfully decorated  beautiful  mysterious  magical and spooky  but this is where the good things end  the music is blaring  the floors moving  the ceiling morphing and the pictures on the walls screaming  and all of this  every second  every moment of screen time  is absolutely without life  its nothing more than a special effectsextravaganza  visually impressive  but intellectually hollow thriller that simply doesnt engage  at first you do not know whats going on  is this part of the experiment  are these hallucinations  projections of the subconscience  paranoia  but in the end it shows out that this is actually happening  the house is actually possessed  it is at that point when all your hopes for a good entertainment disappears out of the window  for ever  i sat in anticipation for a decent climax and thats what i got  i believe hichock once said that  its better to wait for a climax  than to see one   this may be true  and it might actually work  but there is only one problem  jan de bont is not hichock and the things that he shows are not scary  only stupid  they are impossible to take seriously  any paralells that you might have heard before  linking this picture to kubricks  the shining   are absolutely baseless   shining  had class  style  story  acting  but most of all talent and originality   haunting  has only special effects and art direction to boast of  and those elements alone are not enough to make it a good film  casting good actors for small  pale parts only makes things worse  but i guess that no matter what i or other critics say or write  most of you will see this film anyway  even if the tagline would say   some films are just born stupid   
neg	porter stoddard  warren beatty  is a successful architect married to successful fabric designer ellie  diane keaton  for twentyfive years  they and best friends mona  goldie hawn  and griffin  garry shandling  are about to face marital crises in a film most well known for its torturous path to the screen   town and country    town and country  has a pedigree befitting its title with an all star cast photographed by oscar nominated cinematographer william fraker and mouthing the words of screenwriter buck henry   the graduate   under the direction of peter chelsom   funny bones    after years of reports of budget overruns and reshoots and the racking up twelve different release dates  the media has been prepped for beattys next  ishtar   so  is it that bad  the answer is no  but its not very good either  the major problem with  town and country  is that its unstructured and random  stoddard is immediately established as a philanderer  having just bedded a flaky cellist  nastassja kinski   next scene finds him and ellie celebrating their anniversary in paris with mona and griffin  then mona spies griffin hustling a redhead into a motel and begins divorce proceedings  buck henry cameos as both couples divorce lawyer   ellie thinks shes overeacting  but sends porter to support mona on a trip to check out her familys mississippi manse  the two childhood friends end up in bed together  making us wonder why theyd never become a couple to begin with  back home  their second coupling is interrupted by ellie bursting in to tell mona she thinks porters cheating on her  porter goes off on a trip with griffin to sun valley  idaho to have more comic misadventures with wacky women as griffin attempts to tell him that hes gay  the four friends  along with every woman porters dallied with  all end up back in new york city somewhat happily ever after  although the film begins promisingly  resembling a woody allen take on new york city wasps  too many strands drift off into nowhere  the stoddard household is huge  containing two adult children  josh hartnett   the virgin suicides  and tricia vessey   kiss the girls    their colorful bedmates and a maid whos just imported her shirtless boyfriend from the rainforest back home  after an amusing early scene that has porter overhearing three bouts of lovemaking while in search of a nocturnal snack  the six supporting players are dropped except for an outofnowhere appearance by the formerly forgotten son  porters romantic misadventures with women  other than mona  are equally mishandled  once the marital discord begins  the film seems as if it was editted with a machete  stopping and starting  never regaining its rhythm  while beatty gets off a few tart observations  his character is mostly passive and bemused  maybe were supposed to feel sympathy for an adulterer who doesnt initiate his own sex romps  keatons ellie has a trusting nature thats a result of her own self involvement resulting in an unlikeable character  hawn smartly recycles her mature sex kitten wives of  the out of towners  and  the first wives club  while shandlings relegated to true second banana status  kinski is bland and unmotivated  andie macdowell takes a weirdly unappealing role and does what she can with the screenplays most bizarre subplot  which finds charlton heston as her rifle toting  billionaire daddy and marian seldes as her alcoholic  wheelchairbound  foulmouthed mother  heston and seldes are fun  as is jenna elfman as a sun valley bait and tackle salesgirl who brings porter and griffin to a halloween party  oscar nominatored cinematographer william fraker gives the film a nice look  but director chelsom shows none of the quirkily and blackly humorous depth he brought to films like  hear my song  and  funny bones   the script is this films weakest link  its telling that most of the  few  laughs come from oldfashioned physical slapstick and the sight of beatty in a bear suit  while  town and country  isnt exactly painful to sit through  it mostly just lays there  
neg	  the following review contains spoilers    please someone stop joel schumacher before he vomits into a film canister again and tries to pass it off as a movie    chuck dowling  the jacksonville film journal i wrote the above sentence in my review for 1997s batman and robin  apparently  no one heard my words  oh  how i wish you had heard them  oh how i wish someone had stopped him    because hes done it again  the plot of 8mm is similar to the 1977 paul schrader film hardcore  a surprisingly decent and engrossing tale  in fact  it was everything that 8mm is not  in the opening minutes of 8mm  we see private detective tom welles  nicolas cage  working on a case for a prestigious member of the u  s  government  keep this fact in mind  cage is trusted with an important case  which he solves  he returns home to his wife and new daughter  and even finds time to rake his yard  keep that in mind too  its important as well   hes hired by a rich elderly woman to solve a mystery  after her husbands death she comes across a film in his private safe  it appears to be snuff film  a sort of urban legend of the pornography industry in which someone is actually brutally murdered for the camera  the woman wants welles to locate the young girl in the film  hopefully to disprove that it is in fact a snuff film  so he sets off on a journey into the sordid underworld of sleaze to discover the truth about the film  the main problem with 8mm is that the whole film is completely pointless  welles is actually selected for the case by the old womans lawyer  anthony heald  an actor who always plays the same type of character  that being a bad guy   when you first see him  your first instinct is that hes behind the whole thing  the choice of casting does the film in  then  as welles begins his investigation  at times we will see a shadowy figure following him  the only person it could possibly be is the lawyer  or someone sent by the lawyer  because no one knows welles is even investigating anything yet  so your first instinct has now been confirmed  then  when it is in fact revealed that the lawyer is a part of the whole thing  he tells welles that he was chosen for the case because he was young and inexperienced  in one of those ridiculous  since were going to kill you anyway  why not tell you the whole thing  moments   but earlier when we see welles being hired for the case hes told that he was hired because he comes highly recommended  huh  also  when the lawyer reveals himself to be a part of the whole thing  his main goal is to get the film back  so why did he give it up in the first place   the lawyer had the film the whole time  then gave it away to the private detective thinking that he would just give up on the case and return the film   its totally absurd    and this is the screenwriter of seven  late in the film theres a confrontation between all the main characters  and after a struggle one of the characters guns ends up underneath a car  cage  who has been handcuffed to a bed  is rapidly trying to get to his gun  which is on a table  james gandolfinis character goes for the gun under the car in what is supposed to be a scene of  suspense   you see  the gun is just slightly out of reach from the side of the car hes trying to reach it from  and so instead of going around the car to the other side  where he can easily reach it  he just keeps stretching  go around to the other side of the car   this goes on for minutes  then  after cage gets his gun  gandolfini then decides it would be best to go around to the other side of the car  boy  schumacher is really really getting on my nerves  i think the final straw would be when cage returns home  devastated by everything that hes seen on this case  and then is no longer able to rake his lawn  we actually see a shot of him pathetically poking at leaves in his yard  other things that bugged me about 8mm  one would be the music  if you can call it that  whenever the score starts up  it sounds like techno music  and then this awful indian or middle eastern type music will accompany it  awful decision there joel  another is cages performance  at this point hes capable of a wide range of performances  either good or bad  for 8mm  he delivers a very wooden one  and only shines when hes interacting with joaquin phoenix  who gives a great performance as a porn shop clerk with a heart of gold who helps cage with his case   youre capable of much better mr  cage  now as for you mr  schumacher    im starting to doubt if youre capable of anything else besides urinating onto the institution of american cinema  r 
neg	there have been bad films in recent years  mr  magoo was by far the worst ever made  the spectacularly bad blue in the face  the horrible baby genuises and now i woke up early the day i died  it may not however be the worst movie made but it certainly ranks as one bad movie  the films acting  if thats what you want to call it  is well mediocre to me  loaded with a sensational cast you would think that the cast would at least save the film a bit  boy was i wrong  after escaping from a mental institution the thief played by billy zane goes out in the real world and finds that it is pretty harsh and gritty  he turns to burglary to survive  robs a loan back  kills the loan officer and runs with thousands  a countrywide man hunt is on for him to catch him and bring him down  he ends up in a cemetery where he puts his money in a coffin to keep it for later  comes back and realizes that someone took it and put it somewhere  now he is determined to kill all the visitors at the funeral earlier that day until he gets his money back  ultimately leading to a finale that is less that satisfying  a film which was based on a longlost script by ed wood  i have only one question  no dialogue  only music and movement where exactly is the point  the film moves along at a rather slow pace  but does have one advantage  the soundtrack which is catchy and vibrant except the first song which can be offensive to some  it opens with a fun  innovative opening credits sequence and quickly goes downhill after that  some of the low points are when the thief steals a womans purse  and then she faints  sandra bernhard as a dancer and tippi hendren as a deaf woman whom the thief kills to the music of psycho  come on people get some new ideas already  whats even worse is that the film has no plot at all  well to a certain extent it does  but who cares by the time the middle of the film arrives were bored out of our mind and ready for something fun and exciting to happen  i woke up early the day i died is a perfectly bad film  it shows us how low filmmakers get sometimes just when desperate to make a movie  even with the huge cast talent  the film is a waste of my time and certainly a waste of yours  
neg	it would be hard to choose the best american political thriller  some people would probably pick the manchurian candidate and others  myself included  would pick seven days in may  both those films were tense exercises in chills  the two films came out within two years of each other and both were directed by the same man  john frankenheimer  but that was 1962 and 1964 respectively  for most of the rest of his career frankenheimer has turned out some decent films  but has shown little of the promise that those two thrillers showed  each of those films had memorable characters and a tense plot  they had almost nothing in the way of chases or gunplay  the thrills all came from the plot  ronin is like a film made by another man  somewhere behind all the shooting and explosions and car chases there are the rudiments ofa plot  but we see only tiny pieces of it  we get a clue here and one there as to what is going on but j  d  zeiks screenplay is a bit obscure  the film begins explaining that a ronin is a masterless samurai  when a samurai has failed in the job of protecting his master from death  he becomes a ronin  much like a gunfighter in the american west  if you miss the opening  do not worry  this film will explain again what a ronin is  sam  played by robert de niro  is the modern equivalent of a ronin  he is a free agent who seems to have really good instincts about how to stay alive the world of a professional killer  he clearly was in a dangerous business at one time and now he seems to be drifting around on his own somewhere in france  sam is recruited from a montmartre bar by dierdre  natascha mcelhone of the truman show   an irish woman  to be part of an action to steal a mysterious metal case  dierdre is very tightlipped about what is in the case  sam joins a team of four others  vincent  jean reno of the professionalleon and mission impossible   spence  sean bean  tvs richard sharpe  and also patriot games and goldeneye   and gregor  stellan skarsgard of breaking the waves and good will hunting   also along is larry  skipp suddeth   the group seems to know their business  particularly sam  but each is in his own way cold and professional with his own field of expertise  their only human side seems to be in tensions among the members of the team  the story is not very easy to follow  it is never clear who is doublecrossing whom and who is working for whom  somehow russians  who may or may not be the russian mafia  and irish radicals are involved trying to get their hands on a certain metal case  some very good actors are involved in this film  one wonders what they saw in the script  the characters are mostly onedimensional professional killers  they know their work  and seeing their thought patterns adds some interest to the film  but for this group deep feeling between two people is teaming up with another killer so that neither is killed  by the end of the film we never really got to know anybody  maybe that is the secret of why such good actors took parts  since these are not very demanding characters to create  in addition to the above characters the film also features jonathan pryce and michael lonsdale  the latter of moonraker and of the superior thriller the day of the jackal   as a revival of a sort of action film that was popular in the 1960s  i was hoping that there would be something here to grab onto and enjoy  unfortunately there are no deep characters  and little to make us care who eventually ends up with the metal case or why they want it  i rate ronin a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  nonspoiler  incidentally  the tale of the 47 ronin has been filmed multiple times  usually under the title chushingura or as the 47 ronin  also one frequently sees in japanese art the image of a man breaking down a door with a huge mallet  this is the first blow of the 47 ronin  
neg	the main problem with martin lawrences pet project  a thin line between love and hate  like any fatal attraction variation where the protagonist is a man  is that his character is an irresponsible jerk  and if that is the case  it doesnt seem to do anything except justify the womans actions  that is especially the case in lawrences darnell wright  he is one of those macho guys with women lined up a mile long  now dont think i condone this just because im male  my philosophy is  if you are one of the few heterosexual males lucky enough to get your hands on a beautiful  kind girl  you should treat her like a princess and respect her  darnell doesnt think like this  he sleeps with these girls once and dumps them  and by the period in the film he discovered that his newest target  beautiful  wealthy brandi web  played nicely by whitfield  who runs a successful real estate business  is out to kill him for dumping her for his childdhood friend mia  king   i found myself thinking   im supposed to feel sorry for this guy   after all  it is largely darnells fault  if he is lining up all these women  youd think hed have enough common sense to think it would backfire on him one day  as his mother says it does  but he doesnt  so you get the sense that hes not only irresponsible  but also pretty dumb  you especially get this sense that hes dumb after brandi tells him she killed her husband for allegedly abusing her   id put my pants on in two seconds after that   now  brandi is a psycho bitch  but its hard not to agree with what she says to darnell during the finale about guys like him treating her like garbage  one final flaw  though  is letting brandi fall for darnell to begin with  brandi is a classy  intelligent woman with an mba from harvard  who initally resists darnells  immature play  as she calls it  as any woman like her would in real life  but all of a sudden she says yes  but when you listen to darnells four letter word vocabulary watch his actions  you wonder why such an intelligent woman would fall for a guy like darnell period  much less have such an unhealthy obsession for him  lawrence can be good when he wants to  but in order to prove it  he needs to let other people write and direct his movies  look at this movie  four writers  as a result its too long  two hours  when it couldve easily worked at ninety minutes   and it has a lot of subplots and characters that appear and disappear as quickly as they came  which makes me think the writers didnt get along   all of which isnt necessary  there are some bright spots  though  whitfield  regina king  della reese  and bobby brown all do what they can with lazily written parts  and they help it out a lot  and there are some funny parts  like  for example  the scene where reese attempts to fight whitfeld for harrassing her son and damaging her property   but theyre just not enough to sustain the film  
neg	capsule  lesbianism examined in the same hushed and reverential tones reserved for a terminal illness  potentially interesting idea made stagy and boring  claire of the moon is such an impossibly serious and sober movie that i was waiting for someone to sneeze  just to break the ice  its a perfect example of what my wife calls an s  f  e  movie  where s  f  e  means so f    ing earnest  movies like this need wit and brashness to be absorbing  claire is one strained speech after another  written delivered with all of the energy and spontenaity of a dmv clerk  claire takes two women  claire and noel  both writers  and throws them together in the same cabin at a womenonly writers retreat  claire wrights light comedy  while noel is a scholarly authority on porn and sexual behavior  obviously  the two of them are going to have plenty to talk about  and for the entire one hundred and twelve insufferable minutes of this movie  thats all they do  talk  the movie sets up its  microscopic  plot with beatadeadhorseintoglue obviousness  the evening talks at the camp are chaired by a motherly type named maggie  a selfprofessed lesbian  and when noel owns up to also being a lesbian  claire looks like shes been hit with a sockful of wet sand  the movie then quickly degenerates into lots of scenes where noel glances at claire with significance  and claire looks out over the water reflectively   ugh   the most amazing thing about the movie is how people so intelligent can talk so much and yet get so little through their thick heads  all of this  of course  leads up to a scene of complete inevitability  claire and noel  in a scene that should have come an hour earlier  because then the movie ends without even the benefit of reflection about whats just happened  we never get a hint about how any of this has changed anyone  only how they felt about things that didnt even happen yet  the problem with claire    is not lesbianism as such  but the leaden way its handled  why is it that any  serious   a better word would be adult or at least thoughtful  examination of sex in a movie almost always winds up producing a movie thats unwatchably boring  the way this movie deals with lesbianism  we might as well be watching an overheated docudrama about aids  many other movies have used the same subject in ways that are a thousand times better  more engaging  more creative  more intellectually and artistically interesting  look at john sayles lianna  or the interesting and littleseen desert bloom  both of them have more life and vibrancy than claire  what this movie needed was a good swift kick in the pants  
neg	the great actor james woods once said  and im paraphrasing    if sex isnt messy  then youre not doing it right   a truly profound statement  and one that could be made for the entire mad slasher genre  just replace  sex  with  your mad slasher film    for those uninformed souls  the mad slasher genre  or subgenre  is a melding of horror and exploitation elements put to the service of a plot that follows an identical outline  a usually masked but always crazed killer stalks and kills attractive teens a la halloween  urban legend is a mad slasher flick  but one that is so sanitary  bloodless  and nudity free  that with its irony laden dialogue and beautiful  though not overly talented  cast  it more closely resembles an overlong wb television special  for film makers  gore is one of the two weapons they have at their disposal in a stale  frightfree horror movie  as stephen king once said  again paraphrasing   if you cant scare your audience  gross em out  if you cant do that  make em laugh   alas  urban legend succeeds only at the latter  though not by intention  i actually find the fact that this film became a minor success  40 million domestic box office gross  more frightening than anything in it  it seems that audiences tastes have been whittled down to such a degree that any movie even claiming to be scary is given the benefit of the doubt  the promotion for urban legend sure promised thrills  but how can anyone with a three digit iq argue that it provides them  unfortunately  these kinds of flicks will continue to be produced because people no longer have expectations  one idiotic superhyped blockbuster flick after another has desensitized audiences to the point where films dont need to do anything more than promise a good time without the added pressure of delivering  if anyone disagrees i would love for them to explain the box office successes of shit like batman and robin  wild wild west  and godzilla  but forget all that  it goes without saying that mad slasher films  or any other exploitation offshoot  will be made without an ounce of craft  especially considering the sheer volume that are produced   allow me to present you with the real fault of the mad slasher film  the lack of enthusiastic exploitation  these flicks arent harnessed with any lofty aspirations  so why not break free and give your audience a bloody good time  sadly out of the literally hundreds made  i would estimate that maybe three are at all worth while  and urban legend would certainly not be included amongst those three  despite its considerable production value and the absence of any boom mics slipping into frame  it is just as awful as any no budget entry in the slasher sweepstakes  as far as the possibility of some good natured exploitation urban legends setting alone offers a myriad of promising possibilities  it takes place on a college campus  which is always an appropriate playground for the crazed killer  you see  the campus is a community made up almost entirely of young people all in the midst of strange hormonal surges percolating beneath the surface  all those young people are growing up together  going through all kinds of inexplicable emotional highs and lows  so naturally some weirdness is expected  all the better for that elusive crazed killer  coupled with the copious amounts of scantily clad coeds running around  and the introduction of a little exploitation into the proceedings should be a relatively easy task  but alas  urban legend is not only idiotic and clich   full  its way too clean  a slasher flick for the whole family with no nudity  little gore  and much stupidity  this is the kind of movie where the killer drags dead victims from the scene of the crime for no reason other than  i dunno  exercise  its the kind of movie where the villain calmly purses a runninglikethewindprey  yet still manages to catch that prey through some really awful editing techniques  its the kind of movie where characters run into each other just as a loud clash reverberates on the soundtrack  i really wish filmmakers would just retire that whole loudnoisejumpscare thing  yes the audience jumps  momentarily frightened  but wouldnt anyone if a loud sonic boom suddenly infiltrated a quiet room  i lost all hope for the possibility of any genuine scares in urban legend about ten minutes in when i caught a glimpse of the killer  apparently filmmakers are running out of creative ways to disguise their mad slashers  in scream it was a ghost mask  scary enough   in i know what you did last summer it was a fisher mans rain slicker  in the middle of summer no less   and in urban legend the disguise sinks to the level of mel brooks parody  the villain wears an oversized parka with a fury hood  ooh    scary  intended to conceal hisher identity  for urban legend 2 i humbly suggest a donald duck costume  though i must admit  urban legend does have a winning premise for what could have been a somewhat entertaining exploitation film  the films killer slices and dices comely college students to the tune of famous urban legends  you know  like the babysitter gets threatening phone calls only to find that theyre coming from inside the house   i wont spoil the surprise as to what urban legends are used  after all the film does offer fine 2  00 am cable viewing if you happen to be intoxicated enough  sad to say  it doesnt include my favorite urban legend  a fairly graphic antidote concerning richard gere and a very unhappy gerbil  now that would be scary  before i leave you  i would like to bring to your attention the third most irritating thing about the film  the first being the lack of craft  the second the lack of exploitation   its characters  all of whom are just about the most annoying group of people ive ever spent an evening with  only jared leto  looking like a carbon copy of rob lowe from back in the day  and alicia witt  as the resilient heroine  avoid vexatiousness  the most annoying of the bunch is a tie between noxima girl rebecca gayheart and sitcom star michael rosenbaum  as a supremely irritating lout  so irritating i actually cheered his painful death  and i am not a cruel person   ironically those aggravating sacks of human waste provide the only entertainment in the film  if viewed as a vicarious fantasy urban legend can be mildly entertaining  after all this is a movie that features the kind of faux hipsters i cant stand getting slaughtered  which is at least better than watching an entire film about people i cant stand not getting slaughtered  
neg	the premise of turbulence is im sure very familiar to us all  weve seen it before in passenger 57  executive decision  and countless other flicks that are good in there own way  you know  terrorists take over a plane  ask the police on the ground for what they what and so on  turbulence starts out with a  convict  ray liotta being accused of a crime  you think there is no way he could have done it  hes so open and kind  he is taken in and is subsequently transported on a commerical plane to la  this is already a problem  there is no way that convicts would be transported on the same commercial flight that normal passangers would be on  anyway  it is christmas eve and everyone is waiting to get to la and spend christmas eve there  well  convict one manages to stop the flight in its proverbial  tracks  and liotta  still as calm as ever  takes the other convict out  he also has eyes for lauren holly  a flight attendent  and seems to grow closer to her   the plot stops here  i didnt like this movie because it seemed to be a rip off of every other airplane movie ive ever seen  at one point  mr  liotta looked exactly like jack nicholson in the shining  im serious    it was like they stole for every other movie down to a  t   the only reason i did not give this 0 stars is because it had some okay stunts  dont even bother  
neg	a movie laced with a good blend of action  comedy  and a heavy dose of musical celebrity guest appearances sounds pretty gourmet  but even the best ingredients can be thrown together in the wrong way  creating a dismal and unsatisfactory product  eighteen years after the blues brothers hit theaters  blues brothers 2000 is being unleashed  minus half of its original duo  the late john belushi  and nearly all of its original charm  dan aykroyd reprises his role  as well as his cowriting credit  as elwood blues  the sharp dressed con man who wreaked havoc on a selfproclaimed  mission from god  along with his brother jake and their blues brothers band nearly eighteen years ago  as we begin  elwood is being released from a state penitentiary along with the news of his brothers death in prison years ago  completely on his own  elwood decides to trace his roots back to the orphanage where he spent his childhood  only to discover that everyone he has ever known has passed away  but elwood isnt completely without family  it seems he has a halfbrother of sorts  not a real brother mind you  just the illegitimate child of his bluesman pseudofather curtis  cab calloway from the first film   who has also passed on  despite inklings from mother superior mary stigmata  kathleen freeman  to do otherwise  elwood seeks out his only remaining family in an effort to start up an all new blues brothers band  working as a police commander  cabel chamberlain  joe morton   has an immediate disliking for elwood  who nonchalantly fills cab in on his mothers affair years ago and then goes on to steal his wallet  following elwood around is the lonely orphan buster  j  evan bonifant   who quickly learns to become a minielwood  when bartender mighty mack mcteer  john goodman  joins the group  the blues brothers band is complete  and once again  the group travels the country  crashing cars  blowing things up  and obstructing peace with more than just solid blues rock  meanwhile  cabs personal vendetta against elwood leads him on an impassioned manhunt for his nexttonextofkin  from this point  the movie turns into a series of music videos with a few bits of acting in between  those hoping for an interesting andor funny yarn are given too many musical interludes while those heavily interested in the music are given too much of a story  only the extremely avid blues fans should attempt getting thru these two hours  for those people  it may be worth it  for luckily there is much more music than shoddy attempts at acting  but when the story does intrude upon the festivities  the film is heavily bogged down with unfunny jokes  musicians turned stiff actors  and the pointless 10year old buster attempting to add some sort of home alone cuteness to the whole thing  appearances by musical legends such as aretha franklin  james brown  eric clapton  and a whole slew of others are the high points of the film  but they also confirm why these people are musicians and not actors  blues brothers 2000 is deserving of one whole star simply because if you really  really love this kind of music  you might kind of  sort of like this movie  many  many scenes are nauseatingly unfunny  and if you dont have a passion for very deep bluesrock  youll be bored out of your skull  much of this film seems nothing more than aykroyds selfserving vanity project  but no matter how much fun aykroyd may be having with this  none of the excitement is passed on to the audience  and seeing three guys in threepiece suits goofily dancing around with poker faces can only be funny for so long  unfortunately  those two seconds are over about fifteen minutes into the film  
neg	if only austin powers  the spy who shagged me had been just half as original  zany  silly and totally enjoyable as its predecessor  it would have easily been one of this summers biggest pleasures  if only  in fact  the spy who shagged me is the exact opposite of the original  instead of refreshing the audience with one clever parody after another  the filmmakers bombard us with usedup  tired jokes taken directly from the first one  take the scene where austin powers  again played by mike myers  but with only a fraction of the giddy enthusiasm he displayed previously  confronts a henchmen on the side of a cliff  after being pushed off the ravine  the bad guy is of course assumed dead  but suddenly  we hear a pleading voice coming from down below  hes only injured  a similar scene played very well in the original international man of mystery  but here i was insulted by it  did the filmmakers really believe the audience would laugh at a ripoff  apparently i overestimated the intelligence of the average moviegoer  considering that the film has pulled in over 200 million in domestic theatrical grosses alone  do i hear the sound of a franchise heading our way  having said that  though  i still cannot deny the film its merits  the basic plot was delightfully silly enough to sustain my interest somewhat  dr  evil  mike myers  in the second of his three roles   having constructed a time machine  goes back to the year 1969 in an attempt to snatch austin powers  mojo   dont you just love that word   whilst he is cryogenically frozen  when austin gets wind of this  after a great intro explaining the absence of elizabeth hurleys vanessa kensington   he too travels back in time to reclaim his sexual drive  accompanied by the hottotrot felicity shagwell  played by heather graham  this sounds stupid  i know  but in the movie it starts to make some kind of weird  offthewall sense  and it worked for me  then theres minime  verne troyer   a    petite clone of myers dr  evil  exactly 18 in size  troyers persona alone gains the film an extra halfstar  contributing to one particularly hilarious scene where he attempts to nibble on his own minimr  bigglesworth  just try to ignore the fact that  at 28  he would make dr  evils height rise to just over 21 feet  no matter  however  there are only about four hearty laughs throughout the entire hour and a half  the most notable being the now infamous tent scene   and that just isnt enough to warrant even a minor recommendation  if there is in fact an  austin powers 3   they should just kill off secret agent powers and put the emphasis on dr  evil and minime  unconventional  yes  but theres no denying that itd make for a better movie  
neg	in the series of the erotic thrillers that flooded the videoshelves in the early 1990s came this frenchcanadian coproduction by max fischer  the movie is set in paris where its hero  struggling american author david mirkine  judd nelson  at the time specialised in playing losers and people at the edge of sanity  suffers a terrible writers bloc  he manages to overcome crisis after beginning romantic relationship with beautiful model anabelle  laurence treill   unfortunately  she hangs out in jet set circles  which gradually makes mirkine pathologically jealous  her connection with powerful david caravan  pierce brosnan  would make mirkine step the line between reason and sanity and put in motion whole series of violent and tragic events  although few pseudoerotic scenes and some elements of the plot do indeed make this film an erotic thriller  drama would probably be more appropriate genre label  pacing of the film is simply too slow to thrill the viewers  and those patient enough to sit through its entirety have to wait a long time between any interesting or significant developments  low budget also becomes painfully visible  and physical attributes of laurence treill are the only thing worth watching in this film  unfortunately  this film has too little of those supposedly erotic scenes  so those who wanted to watch erotic thriller have all the reasons to feel disappointed  instead  they would have to settle with pointless  slow scenes involving nelson  brosnan and laurence treills attempts of serious acting  all of those definitely not worth spending hour and half of someones precious time  
neg	here i sit at my computer about to write my review of the recent action comedy  bait  starring jamie foxx and david morse  this is a review i dont even want to write because id just be laying the same criticisms on it that i would with any other sogenericandpredictableitsbeyondridiculous piece of hollywood fluff  if theyre not going to give us  the audience  just a little credit and put something together with half a brain  why should i waste my time and mental energy criticising it  last summer i took this same approach with my review of  the mummy   in that review i just quoted phrases my reviews of other subpar movies  i think i shall do the same thing here but with a few less quotes  not all are applicable   i hope this goes to show you what i think of  bait  and why you can find out all you need to know about it without having to take a wild guess  its genuinely unfunny  i  and the other audience members only laughed once during the entire two hours   unoriginal and unthrilling  its not so bad to the point where its fun to watch because of its badness and its no so bad you absolute loathe it and are pained by watching it  its just such a cliche in and of itself  that  uhh    lost my train of thought  anyways  heres those quotes  enjoy   getting an audiences attention right from the beginning plays a major role in how todays films work  we want to have something exciting to watch  not a slow buildup of a story  god forbid    and this film plays right into the mainstreams hands      review of  armageddon    its clear the film doesnt want to waste time on reality and thus the attempt to establish plausability  the most minimal amount necessary  comes across as a halfassed effort  supporting characters and shady supplots are introduced  but as is the case with films made up of a large cast of characters  only a handful have any real significance    theres a fine line separating homage from plagiarism       review of  godzilla   1998   unfortunately  as is the case with most modern thrillers  once the film showed potential for authenticity and intelligence  the cliches and action sequences take over    review of  the jackal   chadz movie page is back after heavy renovation  reviews of nearly all mainstream movies playing today  get my reviews of everything playing at your local cineplex so you can better make an informed decision on what to see  dont forget to vote on my poll and sign the guestbook  
neg	tvs buffy finds herself on the other side of the supernatural spectrum in  simply irresistible   sarah michelle gellar  that neverceasing crusader against neverending evil every tuesday night on the wb network  here plays a downonherluck chef suspected of dabbling in witchcraft after her flailing restaurant receives help in the form of magically scrumptious meals  taste test results  some vampire slaying  though out of place  would have really livened this excruciating movie up   simply irresistible  is actually quite easy to deny  a disaster of culinary and other proportions pretty much from the opening on  gellars amanda finds herself falling for harried henri bendel exec tom  sean patrick flannery of powder  around the same time she discovers an uncanny ability to mystically manifest emotions in her cooking  a secret ingredient that arouses both his interest in her and the publics in her tiny tribeca eatery  all this love and sorcery have a lot to do with the telekinetic crab that also figures into the story  a tale that at times plays like an american spin on 1993s mexican classic  like water for chocolate   several differences  one   like water  didnt have a telekinetic crab  and two   like water  was a good film   simply irresistible   on the other hand  is about as challenging as an easybake oven  amateurishly staged scenes cancel each other out in their badness  from an embarrassing seduction in a literal vanilla fog to an impromptu dance sequence where tom and amanda do their best fred and ginger  though fred and ginger never took part in anything this garish  the intrusive musical score distracts from the flat dialogue at regular intervals  but its not like youre were going to miss much  in fact  take away the few instances of salty language and this has madefordisney channel written all over it  but a majority of  simply irresistible  s resistibility factor has less to do with the aforementioned overkill than the bland leads  tom and amanda are so thin and ambiguously defined that theres just no fun rooting for their inevitable  happily ever after   nor do the otherworldly powers that serve to bring them together make sense  so were left with a hohum relationship based on enchanted eclairs  its not going to last long  people  perhaps sensing this  the filmmakers have piled on weird supporting characters for acting vets like betty buckley  dylan baker and patricia clarkson  but they dont go anywhere either  in fact  nothing in  simply irresistible  goes anywhere save for gellar  and she doesnt go somewhere so much as you wish shed go somewhere  like to a better movie  already proving major talent with relatively few big and smallscreen roles  shes the sole reason this overcooked souffle isnt completely fit for the garbage disposal  looking smashing in her todd oldhamdesigned duds and investing much more in her perfunctory part than she ever gets in return  its certainly a dish best not served in its current condition  but one can only guess that  without gellar   simply irresistible  would be strictly unwatchable  
neg	the 13th warrior reeks so badly of melodrama and poor acting that it carries a worst scent than a canines least appetizing residue  the best part of the film would be a close contest between the closing credits and a brief moment in the middle where the screen goes entirely white and you hope that the film has slipped and caught ablaze in the projector  my vote goes for the ending credits  where you can start trying to put the awful experience behind you  ibn fahdlan  antonio banderas  is an important official who is banished from his home for sleeping with another mans wife  he encounters a group of norse warriors who convince him to join them on a mysterious journey to be taken by 13 men  fahdlan is chosen as the 13th and last warrior in a moment that is so desperately overacted and overdone that numerous persons at the screening i attended broke out into laughter  the movie proves to be a new low point for banderas  whos acting seems closer to that of his role as the lover and caretaker for a dying gay man in 1993s philadelphia  than that of a warrior  in the films supposed pay off scene  he exclaims  i was wrong  these are not men    a line intended to be the most memorable quote of the production  unfortunately  banderas delivers it in a fashion that makes chevy chases career look like oscar material  the film  based on michael crichtons best selling novel  eaters of the dead was shot under that name some three years ago  and after numerous rewrites not only does the dialogue seem completely phony  but the plot is incredibly difficult to follow  at the same time  the 13th warrior makes you think about numerous questions  questions like  why do the characters always have perfect lighting on them even when it is pitch dark     why does no one ever have blood cover both sides of their face  but rather just one side   and finally   will the manager give me a refund   90 minutes into the 103 minute film  a man invites of the warriors  come with me  there is a woman who can help   unfortunately  there is nothing that could help this film  the most appropriate ending would have been for the 13 men to join hands  form a chorus line  and break into a rendition of  springtime for hitler   
neg	ive heard it called  jaws with claws  and thats a fair summation of the plot  though that tag line does little to quantify quality  director stephen hopkins  blown away  predator 2  and screenwriter william goldman  maverick  misery  would have you believe that this is an epic historical drama about man against nature  based on what really happened in africa to the railroad workers trying to build a bridge to the 20th century  theyve stacked the deck with two big stars  val kilmer  michael douglas   a bigger production design  beautiful photography  by academy award winner vilmos zsigmond   and a score so overblown that it makes the lion king soundtrack sound like chamber music  the movie doesnt make a lick of sense  though  either as an epic or as your basic boofest  in fact  some of the bits are so laughably ludicrous that you may think youve stumbled into the sequel to mystery science theater 3000  the movie  how about the three guys with rifles  who trap a lion and then cant even hit the damned thing  or the hamonwry acting of michael douglas  who chews more scenery than the animals ever do   or  my favorite  lions so agile that they can even climb onto rooftops    
neg	billy crystal reappears in yet another high concept comedy  he tries to infuse some life into it  but it gets bogged down with sentimentality and a lack of sophistication  sammy  billy crystal  is a struggling agent at the end of his ropes  hes separated from his wife  serena  kathleen quinlan   and down to his last serious client    in a lowbudget film shooting in romania  but in a turn of bad luck  sammy wrecks his car    only to be mysteriously saved by a giant  gheorghe muresan   but this giant has a heart of gold  he leads a solitary life  helping out the monks at a local monastery  his only longing is for his long lost love  lilianna  joanna pacula   who has since moved to america  sammy  seeing a golden ticket  convinces max to become an actor  represented by sammy  of course   and come back to america  and so sam and max bounce from pathetic job to pathetic job  with sammy dangling a meeting with lilianna as a carrot before maxs nose  but slowly sammys deceptions begin to haunt him  but will he develop a conscience before the innocent max becomes disillusioned  the humor in my giant isnt the worlds greatest  mostly  it falls under the category of  boy    hes so big    and that can only go so far  no matter how hard the talent tries  still  its slightly amusing parts are longed for when the movie gets bogged down in sappy moments  the films best moment  and thats not saying much  is a bit part by steven seagal  playing himself  between executive decision and this  all of seagals best roles have been cameos  maybe he should consider a change of work  steven seagal  the character actor  gheorghe muresan isnt a natural actor at all  and his thick cottonmouthed accent certainly doesnt help  in fact the only thing he adds to the role is his immense stature  originally  the concept was designed several years ago for andre the giant  andre also had a hefty accent  but he displayed a knack for comedy in the princess bride    something muresan should have studied for some pointers  why does billy crystal continually get caught in these pathetic comedies  hes proven that he can be much funnier than these formulaic films allow him to be  and yet  like a glutton for punishment  he keeps coming back  that doesnt mean we have to  
neg	movies can do the two big es very well  educate and entertain  in the best of all possible worlds  they accomplish both  on the red planet  they fail entirely  in the near future  a manned mission is sent to mars to observe primitive plant growth  this film does a remarkable job of demonstrating exactly how exciting watching algae grow would be  after some mumbojumbo about an ecological disaster on earth and an interminable wait to reach the fourth planet  the ship falls apart almost as fast as the movie does  the ground crew of people you couldnt care less about is trapped on the surface without food  water or air and stalked by a deadly rogue cyberdog  the one potentially interesting character  carrieanne moss  spends her time alone in the orbiting ship talking to a computer  attempting to graft  2001  esque space mysticism with  terminator  robot horror  first time director antony hoffman cant seem to figure out whats going on  neither can we  didnt he have anyone who could step back from the shooting and make sure there was a coherent story  couldnt he have used the money saved by only having to pay half a dozen actors to hire a scriptwriter  there are so many missteps  every opportunity to create dynamic tension is thwarted by plot holes and lackluster direction  why introduce the theme of faith vs  science if the crewman who could comment on it disappears early only to die offscreen  the audience begins the film waiting for something to happen  two hours later  theyre still waiting  despite our greatest hopes  there is no life on the red planet  
neg	capsule  an insult  a stupid and incompetent movie that doesnt even have the benefit of being trashily enjoyable  weslely and woody would do well to leave this off their resumes  money train is one of the worst movies i have ever seen  its not simply idiotic  its contemptuous of its audience  it tries to make us swallow things that a better movie would be stopped cold by or just plain omit entirely  its a waste of wesley snipes and woody harrelson  who are enjoyable actors in their own rights but are nauseating here  its not even fun as trash  woody and wesley star  maybe thats not the right word  as new york city transit authority police  they have a job which could actually be the core of a really interesting movie  one of them plays drunk possum to attract chainsnatchers and the other does lookout  i had a whole headful of legal and ethical questions surrounding this  raised by a documentary id seen on the subject once  but the movie does not waste any time with being intelligent or thoughtprovoking  see if you can follow this  they chase a kid down the tunnel and into the station where the  money train   the heavily armored car that picks up all the cash from the token books  is parked  the guards on the train see this kid running at them  lift their machine guns  shout  halt   and then open fire when the kid doesnt stop running at them  blam  the kids dead  then woody and wesley show up  and of course the other ta cops hate them  why    and a pushing match starts  and someone gets decked  and    i covered my face  id seen enough  ive never seen a movie work so hard and in so little time to destroy  systematically  any chance of being credible or interesting  fed up with the bs at their job  most of it their own goddamned fault   woody and wesley hatch this plot about how to rob the money train  hence the title  in case some of you  all two of you  didnt figure it out yet  then theres this subplot about a maniac who torches token book clerks   and  a love story   and  a holdup  no  two holdups  sorry  easy to lose track in a movie this braindead   and  a mob boss who wants his money  there wasnt a minute when i gave a horses ass about any of it  neither woody nor wesley play characters that are interesting for a single minute  we do not care about them  they are not interesting  they are noisy  loud  stupid  foolish jerks who whould have flunked out of the police academy  they deserve to get shot  or run over  as the case may be  they only exist to rehash the kind of dynamics that was  written  into a movie like white men cant jump  and which simply does not exist here  they are idiots  and were expected to root for them  bullcrap  the movie is completely schizophrenic in its tone and texture  what exactly is this mess  a cop movie  police procedure is not given a moments genuine thought anywhere  a thriller  the subplot with the token booth killer is inept  a throwaway that should have been ditched in the rewrite  a comedy  the few jokes that do work are wasted  a drama  all dramatic tension between both principals is freezedried and offtherack  theres not a moment in the movie where i felt like i was listening to genuine human beings talk  its all screenwriterese  that bizarre analect where every sentence ends in a punchline and the primary mode of expression is the unique conjunctions of fourletter words   actual dialogue excerpt   fuck you    what    you heard me  fuck  you     no  fuck  you     look  ill be honest here  ive tried writing screenplays  and even  i  suspect that if i tried to pitch this mess  id get laughed out of the office  anyone interested in hearing my ideas for a few good movies can write me and hear my pitch  because god knows i know i can do better  ive weasted enough time on this piece of tripe  
neg	alexander dumas the three musketeers is one of the most oftenadapted literary works  and for good reason  the swashbuckler is a legend rather than just a story  perhaps the musketeer  a new film that  reimagines  the novel in the spirit and style of the matrix  is one adaptation too many  its just awful  spiritless  silly and unforgivably boring  transforming the timeless classic into a mishmash of oldastime clich  s and incoherent  repetitive action sequences  this time  dartagnan is played by calvin klein model justin chambers  who cant even pronounce his characters name  as a boy  he watched his father get killed by febre  tim roth   a lackey of powerhungry cardinal richelieu  he vowed to have vengeance  after undergoing intense training under an expert swordsman  he goes looking for his enemy  on his quest  he embroils himself in a struggle for control at the highest levels of the french government  the royal musketeers have lost their gusto  what with their jobs being taken over by the cardinals own guards  only a few loyal swashbuckers remain  among them athos and portos  who are only figureheads in this movie   together with dartagnan  they fight to extricate the queen  catherine deneuve  from the traps that febre and richelieu are trying to plant  oh  and as an afterthought  dartagnan falls in love with the poor maid at the local inn  mena suvari   just thought id mention that  now  look  i dont know whose idea this was  but whoever is responsible deserves a severe tonguelashing  i have nothing against  modernizing  classic works of literature  at the very least  they can inspire viewers to actually read the book  but films as dull as this have no positive side effects  director peter hyams  known for such masterpieces of modern cinema as timecop and end of days  has jettisoned everything that was great about dumas masterwork  the sense of excitement  cause  and camaraderie  instead  we get impressively choreographed but somehow vacuous  uninvolving action sequences that emerge from emptiness and lead to nothing  when the musketeers finally get to holler  all for one  and one for all   i could have sworn that was dumas rolling in his grave that i felt  maybe the reason for the utter lack of suspense here is the hyamss tone  which is unreasonably dark and brooding when you consider the readers digest condensed version of the story that he gives us  its as though anything that may have been construed as  fun  was purposely expunged from the production  the joylessness of the proceedings  from the oppressively shady lighting to the mechanical fight scenes  can be felt in every frame  chambers cant act  suvari  roth and deneuve can  but arent given the chance  and when push comes to shove  the use of stunt doubles is distractingly obvious  though at least roth gets to play a villain without having to wear an ape suit  some movies seem sloppy and careless  clearly made for a quick buck  with the musketeer we get the sense that it was meticulously crafted to be awful  the film is intricate  stylish and precise  hitting the wrong note every single time  
neg	in this remake of the 1954 japanese monster film  godzilla is transformed into a  jurassic park  copy who swims from the south pacific to new york for no real reason and trashes the town  although some of the destruction is entertaining for a while  it gets old fast  the film often makes no sense  a severalhundred foot tall beast hides in subway tunnels   sports secondrate effects  the baby godzillas seem to be one computer effect multiplied on the screen   lame jokes  mayor ebert and his assistant gene are never funny   horrendous acting  even matthew broderick is dull  and an unbelievable love story  why would anyone want to get back together with maria pitillos character    there are other elements of the film that fall flat  but going on would just be a waste of good words  only for diehard creature feature fans  this might be fun if you could check your brain at the door  i couldnt   michael redman has written this column for 23 years and has seldom had a more disorienting cinematic experience than seeing both  fear and loathing  and  godzilla  in the same evening   
neg	when i first saw the preview for cruel intentions  i turned to my friend and said   dangerous liaisons for kids   it was clear to me that the film would be an obvious chunk of plagiarized nonsense  owing everything it is to stephen frears 1988 masterpiece  imagine my surprise to see that writerdirector roger kumble has given credit to his source material  choderlos de laclos is recognized for his novel les liaisons dangereuses in the opening credits  and i was impressed  in fact  i was much more impressed with this recognition than with the actual film  which is an appalling excuse for a movie  its kiddieporn hackwork  complete with earthy sextalk and fullyclothed handjobs  i suppose this kind of movie was inevitable  with all the teen highschool angst movies coming out  there was certainly room for a pretentious and laughable movie about a bunch of teenagers who think theyre smarter and more beautiful than all the other people on earth combined  cruel intentions is a mess in every possible way  and it fails primarily in the way i expected it to  i hated all the characters  and i hate everything they do  i also hate ryan phillippe  so perhaps my opinion is not as objective as it could be  phillippe plays  check out this name  sebastian valmont  wow  isnt that a memorable name  i could just say it over and over again  sebastian valmont  it kind of rolls off the tongue  in the spirit of phrases like sanguine vapors and velvet sandwich  sebastian valmont is the coolest guy who ever walked the earth  there is no woman he cant have  no material object out of his reach  he has all the money  all the sex  all at his fingertips  and  luckily  his parents never enter into his life  no  in the world of cruel intentions  adults dont really exist  the ones who do are irritating  sebastian valmont lives with his stepsister  kathryn merteuil  sarah michelle gellar   the bitchqueen of the universe  and also the woman every man wants  since these two rich kids are so bored  they only thing they can do is challenge each other with meaningless sexual liaisons  kathryn wants sebastian valmont to devirginize cecile caldwell  selma blair   a naive dorkchick who has somehow wronged kathryn  but its too easy for sebastian valmont  he wants to nail annette hargrove  reese witherspoon   the  paradigm of chastity and beauty   so  sebastian valmont and kathryn make a deal  which is too explicit to state here   but  dear god   sebastian valmont actually begins to fall for poor annette hargrove  dangerous liaisons is a great movie because the characters are all believable  and because of its masterful acting  cruel intentions is bad for many reasons  but it lacks both believable characters and masterful acting  kathryn merteuil is simply a hateful witch  a girl so loathsome that i would probably enjoy pouring hot lead on her  she is supposed to be mean  but glenn close gave the character some depth in dangerous liaisons  gellar  while aesthetically pleasing  is onedimensional and utterly repulsive  witherspoon has a truly beautiful face  but her character isnt the moral staple shes supposed to be  sure  she wont have sex until shes in love  is this really a  moral  issue    but she does some things in the last few scenes that are more than a little reprehensible  but i cant forget mr  phillippe  who continues to exceed my expectations with his impenetrable  invulnerable blandness  i have to give him credit and say that he did  in fact  manage to change his facial expression about three times during the course of cruel intentions  and theres one point in the film in which he shouts  thereby defeating my hypothesis that he is vocally monotone  true  he is bad  but it doesnt help that he has no character to work with  kumble has drained all the interesting aspects from this character  leaving us with a sexcrazed lunatic who is supposed to be sympathetic because he falls in love with a moral flower and shuns the wicked bitch  the film fails in every other way  too  first of all  nobody talks like this  even the  intellectuals  i know dont bother with this kind of pointless and pretentious yammering  for a while  the movie looks like it might play itself for laughs  but it ends up taking itself so seriously that theres no way we can join it  cruel intentions also manages to come off as softporn in more than one scene  earlier i mentioned a fullyclothed handjob  this occurs between kathryn and sebastian valmont  both of whom are intended to be hateful at this point in the movie  so  if we hate them  then whats the point of an extended sex scene  titillation  of course  it cant even work under the pretense of  meaningful love scene   because we hate the characters  its interesting to note some of the parallels between cruel intentions and dangerous liaisons  kumble is clearly familiar with the earlier film  many of the scenes have a similar tone  and there are moments in frears film that kumble imitates almost completely  such as the last scene  in which spoiler warning   the antagonist is humiliated in front of her peers   but kids dont act like this  nobody acts like this  in his translation  roger kumble forgot character development and sympathy  some pretty crucial elements  the result is a picture of confounding badness  a kiddieporn mess that thinks its really deep and profound  ill give cruel intentions credit for realizing its influences  but that doesnt change the fact that its awful  
neg	everyone knows that old rule  never work with children and animals   in this latest horror flick mimic case  its never work with children and genetically enhanced killer animals instead  as mimic features both of these and succeeds in doing nothing except mildly engaging the audience  the film begins in new york  where we see children dying from a mysterious disease  which is being carried by cockroaches  dr  susan tyler  sorvino  creates a genetically enhanced bug  the judas breed   however  which is designed to kill all cockroaches  the bug does its job  the cockroaches all die  and the terror is gone  three years later appears on the screen  and we discover that the judas breed is back  bigger than ever  and ready to kill  the spin on this bug  however  is that it can mimic its predator  and in this case     its humans  that should teach us for squishing all those bugs  what should be a roller coaster ride with bugs everywhere  tons of gory deaths and some massive set pieces instead turns out to be a rather subdued  almost boring movie which plods along at a very slow pace  perhaps the movie was trying to be thought provoking  and trying to avoid the predator type movie it could easily have become  if it is  then the director and writers have made the wrong move  because this is perfectly suited to be an all out action fest  the director  who bought us cronos  a far superior film  directs the film in a calm  and frankly dull movie  there are few exciting sequences  instead just a lot of people talking  if the dialogue was intelligent  then it would be all right  but its sadly babbling nonsense  in fact  the script is embarrsingly weak  and the characterizations not much better  sorvino and company are as 2d as characters come  with the script not bothering to develop them  there is some action in this film  but its directed in such an annoying way  its just infuriating to watch  the camera cuts all over the place  disoreitating the audience  and instead of involving the audience in the action  it merely alienates them  the peformances are o  k  if slightly below average  sorvino is o  k  although shes not very good at conveying terror  or anything emotion really  the supporting cast are all sterotypes  with characters such as a big black security guard with a foul mouth  a geeky scientist with spectacles  and what could be the most stereotypical mexican old timer ever  their reasonable good fun  however  mimic  then  may fail with its story  pacing and characters  but the film does look good  like dark city  mimic is a definite case of style of content  it may be a bit too gloomy for its own good  but the sets look nice  and parts of the film are directed well  but looks arent good enough to save mimic from the depths of mediocre  somewhere where it shouldnt really belong  a good opportunity  then  wasted  a shame  overall rating review by david wilcock  1998 
neg	this movie tries to present itself as the sequel to jan de bonts debut as a director  1994 surprise hit speed  but the only thing the two movies have in common is sandra bullock as the female lead  annie  sandra bullock  is in the wrong place at the wrong time again  shes going on a cruise with her new boyfriend alex  jason patric   and of course it is her ship that is kidnapped by john geiger  willem dafoe  who has a bone to pick with the shipping line  they sacked him after he got sick  now he wants the diamonds stored in the ships safe for compensation  that actually is the whole storyline  speed 2 could do without dialogues  the movie is all about images and remarkable sound  i dont really know why this is called an action movie  except for a few scenes that are vaguely reminiscent of speed this goes along the lines of the desaster movies of the 70ies  first we are introduced to a number of people who are going to be important later on in the movie  then desaster strikes  sandra bullock was said to have been glad that she could take action this time around  i looked for the  action  but couldnt find it  most of the time she is part of the decoration  the only time she is part of what happens is when she can have a shot at defusing a bomb and freeing some passengers trapped behind a fire door  now we know that she can handle a chain saw  we also know that fire doors on cruise ships can be cut apart in seconds  the bomb defusal of course goes wrong  but only the furniture is damaged  not our heroes who still are needed  jason patric alias alex spends most of his time flirting with annie  helping other passengers and frolicking in the water  his initial seasickness is suddenly gone  because there are ship  crew and passengers to be saved from evil geiger  he does a pretty good job but i cant blame keanu reeves for declining this part  then theres willem dafoe  the villain  who desperately tries to look as frightening as frankensteins monster  he doesnt succeed  though  an untidy appearance isnt enough to convince the viewer of his psychopath potential  before he tries again to make us believe he is a dangerous man he should practise for a while in front of a mirror  i cant really recommend speed 2  you will probably like the movie if you like funny situations that arent meant to be funny  especially the showdown  when the ship first runs into an oil tanker and then dissembles a whole village is a treat  there you get to see the most superfluous scene in the movie  in keeping with last years desaster movie tradition a dog is miraculously saved from certain death  a really funny  and meant to be funny  scene takes place on the oil tanker right before the collision  some crew members watch two ships colliding in an old movie  had they looked out the window they wouldnt have missed the huge ship racing toward them  those of you who still want to see the movie should pick a theater with a large screen and a good sound system to enjoy the visual effects and the phantastic surround sound effects  in an adequately equipped theater its as if the explosion were going off all around you and you can feel the seats vibrate  but the ilm special effects cant save the movie  for all the money they could have done better  
neg	its tough to be an aspiring superhero in champion city  just ask mr  furious  ben stiller   the blue raja  hank azaria   and the shoveler  william h  macy   theyre trying to break into the biz  but captain amazing  greg kinnear   the citys hero numero uno  hogs all the action  the good captain has his own problems  because hes all but eliminated crime  amazings endorsement deals are falling through  the public craves a major slugfest  so amazing engineers the parole of his onetime arch enemy casanova frankenstein  geoffrey rush   frankenstein succeeds beyond expectations  he captures capt  amazing before setting out on his scheme to destroy the city  so  no one is left to save the day but our wouldbe superheroes  but their abilities are more  little league  than  justice league   the raja hurls forks at foes  the shoveler hits them with a shovel  and mr  furious just yells at people  stiller is doing essentially the same character he played in a guest appearance on  friends    after a painful first strike  the guys hold auditions for teammates and add the bowler  janeane garofalo   who carries her dead fathers skull in her bowling ball  invisible boy  kel mitchell   who can only use his powers when no one is looking at him  the spleen  paul reubens   who blows devastating winds from his rear  and the sphinx  wes studi   a mysterious figure who will teach them to fight   mystery men  boasts one of the most talented and eclectic casts ever assembled  in addition to those already mentioned  the credits include lena olin as frankensteins evil shrink  comedian eddie izzard and the fugees prakazrel michel as discothemed thugs  singer tom waits as an inventor of superhero weapons  artie lange  from  mad tv   as another thug  claire forlani  from  meet joe black   as a waitress mr  furious is pursuing  louise lasser  from  mary hartman  mary hartman   as the blue rajas mother  and actormagician ricky jay as capt  amazings manager  the cast includes four oscarnominated actors  when i saw the list of players early last year  i figured the result would be a cantmiss comedy  yet  i must report disappointment  the script is probably the worst of 1999  nearly every joke misfires  the stabs at comic books are too obvious to be funny   for example  no one can recognize capt  amazing in his secret identity because hes wearing glasses   the fart jokes surrounding the spleen are surprisingly the only gags that work  the cast tries hard  especially hank azaria  whose character adopts an effete british accent while in costume  but the script is just too lame to run  
neg	8mm  written by seven scribe andrew kevin walker  has an interesting idea which is ruined by hollywood formula to become a bog standard murder mystery  nicolas cage plays family man detective tom welles  who is asked by upper class toff mrs  christian  myra carter  to investigate an movie found in her recently deceased husbands safe  the movie happens to be an mythical snuff movie  where the girl featured in the film appears to get brutally slashed  all mrs  christian wants to know if the girl in the film was killed or not  welles agrees  and soon gets pulled into the seedy underworld of porn movies  with video clerk max california  phoenix  as his guide  although the snuff industry hasnt really been examined in mainstream cinema  8mm still makes a rather plodding thriller which just seems to be a bit sicker than most  the snuff movie within the movie is certainly disturbing  although the jerky camera angles and grainy image takes some of the shock away  8mm has the problem of not wanting to shock too much  and apart from a few moments  most of the action in the film is nothing you havent seen from another standard thriller  the cast help towards the entertainment  apart from an hideous performance by the increasingly lazy nicolas cage  while he was fun and breezy in earlier films such as raising arizona  1987   ever since leaving las vegas  1995   cage has lost much of his acting talent and appears to be on autopilot  such as in the terrible snake eyes  1998   here  in 8mm  hes boring  uninteresting and has a dull monotonous voice  and in this overlong thriller  these virtues do not help keep the suspense up  only when cage is onscreen with the excellent phoenix does the film start moving  as phoenix is a true talent  his performance is a great break away from the gloom  and hes just purely enjoyable to watch  catherine keener is completely wasted as cages wife  although she delivers a far better performance than her character deserves  her character  though  is hugely underwritten  one of the most wasted characters of the year  also fun is fargos peter stormare as the wildly over the top snuff film director  as this film is written by the person behind seven  8mm is filled with doom and gloom  and noone appears to know how to use an light switch  unlike seven  8mm isnt too clever  and the twist is pathetic and startlingly obvious when it arrives  lacking the strong characters seven featured  8mm ultimately becomes uninvolving plot wise  and relies on the graphic scenes to provide any entertainment  but director joel schumacher  the completely wrong guy for the job  puts style over content  and while the direction and look are good  its just not very disturbing  schumacher also has no idea how to shock and audience  and though we are meant to be looking at the dark belly of the porn industry  it doesnt exactly leave an haunting impression on the viewers mind  which misses the point  also  the last 20 minutes are so hackneyed  so cliched  its amazing to think its the same film youre watching  8mm is far from an success  a snuffed opportunity  with a boring lead character  controversial scenes that manage not to be controversial  and a director obsessed with looks  what could have been one of the most shocking films of the year is a dumb thriller  ultimately  8mm is probably worth renting on home video  unless your desperate to see what the snuff film within the film looks like  and trust me  the rest of the 2 hours are not worth it  
neg	your first clue that something isnt gonna be quite right with the movie youre about to see  its heavily christmasthemed and its release date is  oh  say  at the end of february  your second clue that something isnt gonna be quite right with the movie youre about to see  charlize theron  one of the movies dubious stars  makes an appearance on the daily show in which  when asked if her new movies any good  she replies with the equivalent of a verbal sigh    assuring us that  yeah  it sure is a movie  all right  and theres some scenes like those youd expect to find in a movie  and theres some action    and theres other    stuff    too  how to immediately grab my attention  open your movie with five dead guys in santa claus suits  then show a caption reading  six days earlier     ya know  i was honestly interested to find out what killed all those poor santas    how to immediately lose my attention  follow your opening scene with a terminally dull niceguyswhodontdeservetobeinprison scene  write a line for the one of prisoners like  i just want to go home and eat christmas dinner and watch some ball with my dad   then  have ben affleck actually say that line  on film  and forget to leave it on the cutting room floor  for good measure  throw in a poorly motivated prison riot and have afflecks best buddy stabbed    aw    and just two days before his release  too  already the cliches are piled on thick  and when it rains  it pours  how to take my attention  dash it violently against the rocks  and make it so that im contemplating my strategy for calling  shotgun  about an hour before i know the credits will roll  deny your characters the ability to think  have ben affleck  for some reason ill never understand  pretend hes his dead prison buddy so that he can get his girlfriend  played by charlize theron  have gary sinise show up and force the two of them to participate in a poorly planned casino heist  the villains big idea  kidnap affleck because he used to be a security guard at the casino  force him to tell you where all the doors in the place are  then dress up in santa suits  create some  diversions  and rob the place  on paper  it seems like the stuff of a potential caper comedy  but veteran director john frankenheimer wrongly picks up that piece of paper and thinks hes looking at the makings for some sort of clever actioncrime thriller  its not like the man isnt capable    far from it  hes the man responsible for classic political thrillers like the manchurian candidate and seven days in may  he wowed me with some the most memorable car chases ive ever seen in last years ronin  but hes certainly guilty of churning out some certifiable losers    put reindeer games on the shelf of shame with his 1996 version of the island of dr  moreau  step one in making your movie as easily forgotten as possible  cast ben affleck in the role of the worlds most generic hero  he gets no good oneliners  he doesnt get to shoot or implode anything in new and interesting ways  and all we know about him is that he regrets his past as a car thief and wants a cup of hot chocolate and piece of pecan pie  his name is rudy  short for rudolph  in all likelihood  see  its called reindeer games  get it  get it  shut up   in the past  affleck has been at his best as a supporting actor  and reindeer games does nothing to further his viability as a leading man  step two in making your movie as easily forgotten as possible  gary sinises villain dresses and looks like the most standard movie crook a filmmaker could have some up with  hes dirty and pottymouthed  hes got long  scruffy hair and a goatee  and i fully expected him to walk out of the casino carrying sacks with giant dollar signs on them  hes also extremely inept at what he does  he thinks garish cowboy costumes and santa suits make acceptable disguises  and he trusts afflecks character to pull through even after  time and time and time again  he tricks him and lies to him and nearly kills him  but instead of tapping into the comic possibilities of this role  sinise seems to think hes playing some sort of tough  smart  and smooth criminal mastermind  rather than the complete moron that was obviously written into the script  on a side note  gary sinise wins this weeks  title   award  as hes the one who gets to awkwardly cram the name of the movie into one of his lines early in the proceedings  last weeks winner was natasha henstridge for the whole nine yards   how to take your bad idea and make things worse  include two or three plot twists that  instead of making the apparently stupidity of the plan seem suddenly intelligent  make the plan seem even more ridiculous and unlikely  this is a bad movie  and whats worse is that  except for a few moments near the notsostunning conclusion as the preposterous is replaced by the ludicrously preposterous  reindeer games never really gives us the satisfaction of being laughably bad  if theyd done that much  at least i would have been entertained  
neg	carry on at your convenience is all about the goingson in the factory of a toilet manufacturer  wc boggs  kenneth williams   once they have won an order to manufacture 1000 bidets in two months and charles coote  charles hawtrey  has designed a suitable model  the factory employees set to work but are interrupted by union representative vic spanner  kenneth cope  and friend bernie hulke  bernard bresslaw  who call them out on strikes on the slightest pretext  meanwhile  chief foreman sid plummer  sid james  is growing tired of his wife beattie  hattie jacques  and her budgie  he would much rather live next door with fellow boggs worker chloe moore  joan sims  but once he discovers that the budgie can predict the winners of horse races  he is over the moon and flush with money  his daughter  myrtle plummer  jacki piper   is going out with wcs son lewis boggs  richard ocallaghan  and this causes conflict on the staff day out to the seaside when vic spanner vies for her attentions  in the end  if the strike does not cease  boggs will have to close down his factory  but the support of a group of women led by cootes wifetobe and spanners mother  agatha spanner  renee houston   try to resolve the situation  also  sid realises that his budgie has caused him nothing but trouble since it started predicting horse race winners  there are some good performances  as usual  from sid james and kenneth williams in their standard roles  charles hawtrey is third billing but only appears in a few scenes  his part is mildly amusing  richard ocallaghan is appealing as boggs stuckup son  patsy rowlands is funny as miss withering  boggs assistant  and renee houston is terrific in her small part as agatha  however  sole acting honours go to hattie jacques as beattie plummer  although her character is not directly involved with the main storyline  she manages to input a great deal of pathos and feeling into her character  a marvellous performance from a marvellous actress  the film suffers from annoying performances by bernard bresslaw and especially kenneth cope  in his carry on debut  cope overdoes his role as spanner making him so annoying as to be unfunny  joan sims returns as the love interest  instead of barbara windsor   sims usual part as the downtrodden wife was taken by hattie jacques  additionally  bill maynard as fred moore is very poor  this carry on movie tries it best to entertain the viewer   the locations and wealth of characters are appealing  however  the toilet humour becomes tiresome very quickly and some of the performances leave a lot to be desired  this movie does not know where it is going  it was made in 1971 and talbot rothwell the scriptwriter seems to be in two minds whether to go for bluer jokes or to maintain the innocent jokes success of most of its predecessors  that is why this film suffers  a minor carry on film whose major asset is the performance by hattie jacques  the new minorregulars such as ocallaghan and piper are not able to enliven the movie and the toilet humour becomes humourless after a while  
neg	the tagline for this film is   some houses are just born bad   so i didnt expect too much from this  but i had preserved a little spark of ope as i entered the theatre  i thought  liam neeson  cathrine zeta jones and jan de bont  i thought  mabe it will be fun  and in fact the beginning was rather intriguing  but by the end of it i thought  why liam neeson and cathrine zeta jones  jan de bont   these great actors are basically helpless with this muddled mess that defies any rationality  here is the story  in the monstrously overdecorated mansion known as hill house  visitors are tricked by an unknown doctor  liam neeson  into being guinea pigs in a fright experiment under the guise of an insomnia investigation  among them is a sophisticated bisexual  cathrine zeta jones   a cynical dope  owen wilson  and a gentle and emotional lady  lily taylor   actually  the doctor is researching the  primordial fear reaction  and intends to plant disturbing ideas in his subjects and watch  what happens  but he gets unexpected help from the house itself  it rumbles  hums and belches forth remarkable sights  portals become veiny stainedglass eyeballs  a fireplace guarded by stone lions gapes like a sinister mouth  filmy cherubic spirits take shape under sheets and billowy curtains  but the computerized spooketeria rarely feels real  placing an emotional wall between audience and screen  the second half of the film is basically about the main heroine running back and forth from the sinister lamps and evil furniture  is that exciting or what  the worst thing about it is that it didnt have to be bad  its based on a great book  the haunting of hill house   by shirley jackson  a 1963 adaptation of the book was scary and intelligent  it played with the greatest fears of our sub conscience   the blair witch project   that cost less than an old car  managed to shock and terrify the audiences from their senses  and with a 70 mill  budget  de bont and screenwriter david self make hash out of a perfectly lovely piece of terror  de  bont has a style of filmmaking so out of line with the material that it is  in itself  frightening  he is the master of the extravagant special effect and the big visual adrenaline rush  but why give him a more serious material  in the end  haunting  will only haunt its fledgling studio  dream works skg  and de bonts career as a director  yet it wouldnt be fair to say that everything is bad  the effects are truly impressive and the house is wonderfully decorated  beautiful  mysterious  magical and spooky  but this is where the good things end  the music is blaring  the floors moving  the ceiling morphing and the pictures on the walls screaming  and all of this  every second  every moment of screen time  is absolutely without life  its nothing more than a special effectsextravaganza  visually impressive  but intellectually hollow thriller that simply doesnt engage  at first you do not know whats going on  is this part of the experiment  are these hallucinations  projections of the subconscience  paranoia  but in the end it shows out that this is actually happening  the house is actually possessed  it is at that point when all your hopes for a good entertainment disappears out of the window  for ever  i sat in anticipation for a decent climax and thats what i got  i believe hichock once said that  its  better to wait for a climax  than to see one   this may be true  and it might actually work  but there is only one problem  jan de bont is not hichock and the things that he shows are not scary  only stupid  they are impossible to take seriously  any paralells that you might have heard before  linking this picture to kubricks  the shining   are absolutely baseless   shining  had class  style  story  acting  but most of all talent and originality   haunting  has only special effects and art direction to boast of  and those elements alone are not enough to make it a good film  casting good actors for small  pale parts only makes things worse  but i guess that no matter what i or other critics say or write  most of you will see this film anyway  even if the tagline would say   some films are just born stupid   
neg	the title is taken from the writings of ralph waldo emerson describing the life of a traveler as anywhere but here   there isnt one thing about this motherdaughter relationship melodrama that felt honest  it relies on a contrived minor character to tell both mother and daughter what was obvious to do in order to straighten out their dysfunctional lives  as for some reason they couldnt figure it out for themselves  if the film looks familiar  that is because  the slums of beverly hills  98   went over the same ground but was fortunate to be more comical and perceptive due to alan arkin and natasha lyonne performances  in which they were fortunate to have a much sharper script to work with  alvin sargents script was weak and annoyingly claustral  wayne wangs   the joy luck club   inept direction made a weak script even weaker by his inability to tell the story unfolding without the voiceover relating what the action couldnt convey  pushy mother adele august  susan sarandon  forces her 14yearold daughter ann  natalie portman  to leave a small midwestern burg to go crosscountry with her to beverly hills  the daughter resents her twice divorced  unstable but exotic  schoolteacher mother  bullying her to be an actress as a means of escaping a humdrum life  the daqughter doesnt even like the used gold mercedes mother buys to drive to lala land in and cant stand the beach boys records mom enjoys hearing on the car radio  so it becomes a question of who knows best  as the ladies fight it out between them  until the predictable sweet ending comes in this yawner  adeles dream of greener pastures in beverly hills soon doesnt look that good  as she lands a job in a slum school  has her precious car scratched by the unruly kids  and settles into a job she hates in order to financially survive  daughter pines for small town wisconsin and her friends there  during one of many arguments with her freespirited mom  they go for ice cream and while mother is being ticketed  she runs away  only to be chased down by friendly traffic cop  michael milhoan   who offers her wise counsel  with the cops zen wisdom passed onto the daughter  she will survive living in many different addresses in beverly hills until she reaches 17 and then she plans to get way from mom by using her good grades to go to brown university instead of ucla  during their stay in beverly hills  she grows from feeling awkward in beverly hills high to immediately having many high school girlfriends and even a high school rich boy admirer a t  s  eliot  corbin allred  reader  but the transition of her life into beverly hills had no feel of reality  as everything seemed staged and unemotional  when she learns her cousin benny  shawn hatosy   who happens to be her best friend dies in a traffic accident back in wisconsin  she returns for the funeral and in those reunion scenes it wasnt clearly shown why she wants to stay there  and for that matter  it was never made clear why the mother wants to leave so badly  the film is one big battle of wills between mother and daughter over their dreams  i guess what the filmmaker is trying to say  is that mom is a bad dreamer and the daughter is the observant one  able to recognize mothers faults when not in growing pains and in need of parenting herself  mother has a series of setbacks  like being dumped by her dreamboat dentist  bochner  she met on the beach  and witnessing her daughter mimic her whiny optimistic sayings when trying out for an acting part  but mother learns that her daughter has grownup and is independent and that she has to stop living her life through her  she learns this when the same wise cop who told ann what to do  is about to ticket her and this time will remind the mother of the right thing to do  this of course results in the corny ending  showing that moms heart was always in the right place  only she went about it in the wrong way  this was just one of those films where you want to be anywhere but in the theater where this film is showing  
neg	tomb raider  fun  exciting  challenging  given the unprecedented popularity  especially among teenage boys  of the video game that sports an uberbuff  pistol packin babe who raids  well    tombs  you have to believe its these three things and more   lara croft  tomb raider   the big screen variant of said video game  which features a pumpedup angelina jolie  the oscar  winner for  girl  interrupted  no less  in the title role is  however  none of these things  it isnt fun  it isnt exciting  and the only challenge is seeing how long you can stay in your seat  i suffered through to the bitter  bitter end  the wife opted for barnes  noble at the 45minute mark   directed by simon west with the same subtlety he brought to  con air    tomb raider  is an emptyheaded  big budget bore  the story borrows unintelligently from that mother of all turkeys  hudson hawk   the same hokum about planetary alignments and sacred stones that  when brought together  well    who the heck cares   and it makes  super mario bros    bob hoskins illadvised career move  look like  rocco and his brothers   that classic of italian neorealism   ill go out on a limb here and say i suspect theres actually more character development in the video game than the movie proper  this is where the jolie defendersvideo game nuts jump in and say this movie isnt about character development its about kicking serious butt  or bum  since ms  croft hails from englands green and pleasant   with lips  breasts  and biceps all inflated to the max  lara croft is all about posturing  and jolie has a hard time simply standing still without trying to look tough  ok  lets forget challenging  shouldnt  tomb raider  be  at the very least  fun and exciting  shouldnt our buttkicking heroine also encompass the sophistication of  say  james bond with the wit of indiana jones  theres no humor to be found anywhere in  tomb raider   even though it tries hard from time to time  even  the mummy returns  didnt take itself too seriously  the villain here is noticeably lacking  the special effects are ridiculously overblown and unnecessarily complicated  and the script is nonexistent  to liven things up  perhaps   jolies live father jon voight puts in a few minutes as laras dead father lord croft  talk about a stretch  one thing i hadnt expected from the film is that jolie affects a slightly better english accent than her pa  although i suspect that thinlooking moustache hes forced to wear gets in the way some   unsuccessful  not entirely  if anything   lara croft  tomb raider  makes you want to check out the video game itself to figure out exactly what all the fuss was about  
neg	walt disney studios may have finally met its match with the lush animation in twentieth century foxs anastasia  but judging by the latest efforts from the don bluth studios  the visuals are the only thing fox has to brag about  disneys recent classics have occasionally stretched credibility in such films as pocahontas  the hunchback of notre dame  and to a lesser extent  hercules  with anastasia  fox has gone so far as to throw all facts completely out the window  some may say  so what  its just a kids movie  well    if you have young kids  beware  as they may be noticeably frightened by the visuals of a corpserotting rasputin zombie  whose body parts continually fall off in a disconcertingly real way  consider yourselves warned  nevertheless  the animation is quite stunning at times  don bluth has used computer animation extensively throughout  occasionally rivalling photographic quality  and yet in other scenes  the handdrawn material seems of the saturdaymorning tv crowd  which leads me to wonder    was this rushed to market to combat disney  the plot  as anyone who had read history before knows  concerns the attempt to return anastasia to her royal family after she was lost in the overthrow of the romanovs in 1916  not that anastasia is much concerned with what really happened  as for the plot  go rent disneys candleshoe  youll see 60 of anastasia there  
neg	heres something to chew on  whats the favorite food of big  cheesylooking special effects monsters like the one lurking in the bowels of a luxury liner in deep rising  the obvious answer to this question is cardboard  because thats the depth of the most fully developed character in this painfully generic creature feature  deep rising demonstrates all the originality and vitality of something scripted by a computer  in fact  considering the rigid adherence to the expected formulas  perhaps it was  the most astonishing thing about deep rising is the exceptionally high level of gore  not since starship troopers have this many chunks of flesh  both human and nonhuman  been scattered in all directions  we learn some bloody trivia  as well  such as how a sea monster spraypaints in red  it drinks a human being then spits out the liquefied remains  and what it does with halfdigested leftovers  i suppose deep risings gallery of grotesque images represents fun stuff for those who love the macabre  but it doesnt do much for me  on the surface  and thats about the only level at which this film can be analyzed  deep rising feels like tremors grafted onto titanic  everyone else is citing the equally valid alienstitanic connection  since james cameron directed both   in going for the big disaster angle of titanic and the tongueincheek mayhem of tremors  deep rising somehow misses both marks by a wide margin  the film is not humorous  tense  or exciting  in fact  its downright boring  and  despite being half the length of camerons current boxoffice champ  deep rising feels like the longer movie  is it really necessary to say anything about the plot  probably not  since its easy to guess  but ill go ahead and oblige anyone who wants a synopsis  the film opens by introducing us to a gang of bad guys on board a mercenary ship  in addition to the usual cast of psychopaths and lunatics  theres finnegan  treat williams   the boats pilot  whos supposed to be an indiana jones knockoff  joey  kevin j  oconnor   the inept sidekick whos supposed to be lovable and funny  but is really just irritating   and hanover  wes studi   the  mastermind   and i use that term lightly  of the operation  their goal  attack a cruise ship  clean out the safe  then sink it using some illegallyacquired torpedoes  the problem is  by the time they reach the argonautica  the titaniclike luxury liner has turned into the marie celeste  aside from a beautiful jewel thief  famke janssen  and a couple of crew members  theres no one on board  the reason soon becomes obvious  the ship has been taken over by a bad special effect that is supposed to resemble an octopus with teeth and more than eight tentacles  the cast  which is led by treat williams  is primarily comprised of hasbeens and probablyneverwillbes  two exceptions  wes studi  best known as the villain in the last of the mohicans  and djimon hounsou  amistads cinque   williams  once a  cant miss  prospect in hollywood  has fallen so far out of favor that the best he can do these days for a lead role is a film like deep rising  and his inability to create a charismatic or interesting figure here may sink whatever is left of his sputtering career  famke janssen  who will forever be known as xenia onatopp from goldeneye  is the perfect bland match for williams  given her limited acting abilities  its likely that she was chosen for this part primarily on the basis of her physical attributes  unfortunately  a bra defeats the purpose of having her in a wet teeshirt for half of the picture  meanwhile  kevin j  oconnor  who has entirely too much screen time  exhibits all the appeal of fingernails scratching a blackboard  these days  audiences are becoming more difficult to impress with computergenerated special effects  this is a lesson that writerdirector stephen sommers  who previously helmed the liveaction jungle book  needs to learn  the days of jurassic park  when viewers were astounded by the mere spectacle of seeing something big and imposing on screen  are past  now  moviegoers are looking for the sophistication of titanic  visuals that are so wellincorporated that its impossible to tell where they end and where  reality  begins  in deep rising  the monster  like everything  is artificial and unconvincing  unfortunately  the fundamental problem audiences are faced with here isnt so much the idiotic monotony of this individual picture  but the poor quality of the entire bankrupt genre  although  to be fair  deep rising is a particularly bad entry   even once this film has sunk out of sight  the knowledgeable viewer knows it wont be the last of its kind  like the slimy  slithering things that inhabit the air vents and pipes of these movies  more are waiting just around the corner in ambush  and that consideration  unlike anything on screen  is truly horrifying  
neg	this is an adaptation of h  g  wells acclaimed novel the invisible man  the actors are kevin beacon and elizabeth shue  the director is paul verhoven  that  plus a quick demonstration of the amazing special effects in the trailer  should be enough to lure us into the theatre  the problem is to keep us there  i cant imagine anyone who would like to see this movie a second time  working on a top secret military project  sebastian caine  kevin beacon   an eccentric genius  that calls himself  god   has discovered the secret to invisibility  the first two faces are completed  now  it is time for  the next logical step   human  caine volunteers for this risky experiment  but when he is made invisible  something goes wrong  while his exgirlfriend linda  elisabeth shue  desperately tries to find something to return him to normal  he learns that invisibility is more of a prison than a superpower  but thats not the bad thing  an unexpected sideeffect of the drug sends him careening into paranoid megalomania  he is naturally given a couple of modest superpowers  just enough for him to survive immolation from a flame thrower and an explosion of about a quart of nitroglycerine  soon every sense of decency is forgotten  the little intelligence that was left disappears as verhoven looses control and the film turns into an alienripoff  where caine is walking like a half finished terminator  spooking  scaring and killing everybody  though its based on a novel called the invisible man  the title has been ironically changed to hollow man that sums up the film very nicely  this is a very silly production  laughable  actually  apparently verhovens imagination doesnt stretch too far  for him the only worthwhile reason to become invisible is so you can case the girls locker room undetected  it is this primitive schoolboy mentality that eventually kills the movie  being invisible  gives you the opportunity to be who you are  to do what you want without being influenced by society  in many ways it gives you an illusion of having a life without consequences  the nature of man and his place in society is what the novel is truly about  all that  the depth and true horror of the book is gone and only special effects make you remain in your seat  caine does use his power voyeuristically in hollow man  but since this is a modernization  in other words a dehumanization  he doesnt stop there  he becomes a rapist  and then  of course  a murderer  youll start wondering why such actors as beacon and shue found themselves in such film in the first place  shues talent is barely seen  josh brolin is underused and the rest of the cast suffer mostly for the lack of talent  kevin beacon is the only one that performs gracefully  his face is not seen for the most part of the film  and the only way he exists is as a disembodied voice  there are times when his presence actually saves the film from being completely embarrassing  in the end the effects are the only reason to see this film in the first place  being probably the best technical achievement since  jurassic park   they are absolutely amazing  we observe the layers of skin  muscle  tissue  and bone being peeled away as a body is slowly rendered invisible  we see a beating heart  inflating lungs  and veins pulsing with newlypumped blood  there are a couple of inventive shots with smoke  fire  air and water  but are a few scenes like that worth attending a movie for  what is truly disturbing is that with a great book  talented actors and a grand budget  this could have been so much more  pretty much like jan de bont   twister    haunting    paul verhoven has never made anything extraordinary  he was responsible for several good films   basic instinct  and  starship troopers   and some incredibly bad films   showgirls    total recall    but he has never made anything that was great  in a way  hollow man  fits perfectly in this collection  its not better or worse than verhovens average film  he proves once again that he is incapable of handling more complex issues  and so  instead of depth and chills  verhoven inserts some of his trademarks  stupid dialogue  and lots of dull action with blood and naked bodies  he even throws in some of the worst of film clich  s  the slowly advancing fireball  the villain who comes back from the dead  etc  etc   and tops the whole thing off with one of the most ridiculous endings of the year  youll be screaming  nooooo   and attempt to run towards the exit in slow motion   and all we can ask is why  the answer is simple  though hollywood is a movie producing machine  the business of moviemaking has to be about something more than money  it has to be about telling stories  not marketing them  it has to be about transporting us to a different place  to dazzle us with magic and cleverness  to make us care  to make us think and feel  verhoven has obviously missed that point and this film is a proof of that  its all flesh and bones  but no soul  a void where its imagination should be  
neg	eddie murphy has a lot riding on harlem nights  as the movies writer  director  executive producer  and star  murphy will shoulder all of the blame if harlem nights fails  but at the same time  hell receive all of the credit if it succeeds  should you sacrifice your hardearned cash to support murphys risky gamble  well  that depends on whom you trust more  me or eddie murphy  heres what murphy thinks   i think the audience is expecting a good time  they gonna get sexy  they gonna get funny  they gonna get drama  they gonna get all of that  i think its the best movie ive done   paramount radio network   heres what i think  harlem nights is charmless  unoriginal  disappointing  and almost without question  the worst film of the actors career  i havent seen best defense   and guess whos to blame   the movies problem is not murphys direction  harlem nights is a fairly good looking film  no  the project was probably doomed even before the cameras rolled  murphys awful script is the culprit  lets count the mistakes he makes in his first attempt at screenwriting   1  murphy shatters the record for the most profanity in a motion picture  yes  he even outdoes his own work in raw  practically every line of dialogue in harlem nights contains at least one four letter word  and after 15 minutes  it gets irritating   2  murphy wastes the talents of his fine cast  richard pryor  redd foxx  michael lerner  and della reese face the impossible task of carving out credible characters from a script riddled with stereotypes  each of them shines occasionally  but basically what we have are good performers stuck in a bad vehicle   3  the movie demeans women by depicting them solely as sexual objects and as pawns in power struggles between men  murphy has admitted in interviews that he is weary of women in his private life  which is really neither here nor there  but when murphy puts his bitter feelings on 3  000 movie screens across the country  its another matter altogether  youre forced to swallow some pretty gruesome stuff  for instance  murphy punches della reese in the stomach  and he shoots jasmine guy in the head  this is a meanspirited movie  folks  lovely newcomer lela rochon gets off easy in her role as a common whore  but only because she doesnt have any scenes with murphy  thank god  he might have run her over with a bulldozer   4  murphy has written for himself perhaps his blandest role to date  the loveable eddie murphy charisma emerges only once or twice during the film  murphy would rather give his character a spiffy wardrobe than a spiffy personality  sometimes it seems as if murphy made harlem nights just so he could wear fancy suits and look debonair   5  the plot is a shameless ripoff of the sting  if youre going to make another sting movie  youve got to do something original  murphys tale of warring nightclub owners in harlem  circa 1938  fails to add anything new to the formula   6  to get laughs  murphy makes fun of stuttering  you know a comedy is digging deep when it resorts to ridiculing the handicapped   7  murphys idea of drama is a scene in which his character apologizes for the first time in his life  for what  for shooting reeses little toe off  needless to say  murphy shows little  if any  promise or imagination as a screenwriter  in all fairness  however  a few rays of sunshine do manage to break through the gloomy cloud surrounding the movie  danny aiello is fun to watch as a dirty cop on the take  aiello stands out in the large  ensemble cast  he obviously relishes the opportunity to play such a nasty character  a racist detective with mob ties   aiellos zesty performance gives harlem nights some much needed spice  another bright spot is arsenio hall  who has a hilarious  showstopping cameo as a crybaby gangster  hall virtually steals the spotlight from murphy  in fact  halls ten minutes on screen are the funniest ten minutes in the movie  unfortunately  his character is completely irrelevant to the plot  murphy should have given hall a much bigger role  of course  ive already mentioned that i didnt care for murphys character  but i have to admit that i did love his neckties  they are simply spectacularalmost worth the price of admission  
neg	because no one demanded it  david duchovny in a romantic comedy  at last  both his romantic magnetism and his comedic brilliance are mined for all their resources  the choice of duchovny may have something to do with the plot  which could be fodder for a valentines day episode of  the xfiles   bob rueland  david duchovny  loses his wife elizabeth  joely richardson  in a car accident  at the same time  grace briggs  minnie driver  is in the hospital  waiting for a heart transplant  grace gets elizabeths heart  and it leads her to bob  its the romantic equivalent of all those horror films where someone gets a transplant from a serial killer and then is driven to slaughter people  four writers are credited with contributing to the story  that doesnt seem possible  despite being a solid two hours long   return to me  adds little to the  boy meets girl  boy loses girl  formula and  as a result  is terribly tedious and slowmoving  duchovny and driver seem unable to generate any sparks  and i kept wishing for a fastforward button to move their scenes along  since driver has managed to work well in romantic roles before  i blame duchovny  hes out of his element without the manufactured and static sexual tension of his tv series  and ive always thought that the relationship between mulder and scully on  the xfiles  comes off more siblinglike than hotandbothered   theres something about duchovny that makes me uneasy  regardless of the role hes playing  he comes off as a weirdo  the only redeeming quality of  return to me  is its hilarious supporting cast  the circle of friends and relatives around bob and grace is constantly playing matchmaker  and they generate the only laughs in the movie  carroll oconnor is graces grandfather marty oreilly  when bob comes into martys restaurant after hours  marty immediately begins quizzing bob about his marital status  when marty discovers that bob is a widower  he invites bob to join his poker game and introduces him with the declaration   this is bob  his wife is dead   the poker buddies are just as desperate to find a mate for grace and greet bob enthusiastically when they hear the news  also funny  bonnie hunt as graces best friend megan and james belushi as megans husband joe  married with children  megan and joe provide a useful counterpoint by showing the mundane results of romance  although its rare to see him in a movie that premieres in a theater  belushi delivers his lines with great comic skill  rounding out the impressive supporting cast are david alan grier as bobs best friend and robert loggia as martys brotherinlaw angelo  in only the lead actors lived up to the standards set by the rest of the cast  bottom line  if you are compelled to see this movie  watch it on video so you can fastforward to scenes with carroll oconnor and james belushi  
neg	im not sure if silvio horta wrote urban legend before or after the success of scream  but im guessing after just because it seems he may not have had time to write a second draft  seriously  this ideaa psycho bumping off people in the style of urban legendsis a great one and i wish it could have been pulled off  the first sign of trouble comes with the painfully insipid dialogue  an example   that car crash mustve been awful    for everyone involved   you can tell that the writer intended that something a little more airy was supposed to have been said  just no one figured out what  i know in slasher movies there isnt supposed to be a lot of great characterization and i myself dont mind cardboard cutouts  but please dont let the cutouts be so damn bland  one reason movies like scream  star wars and diva have become so treasured is because they feature charismatic actors playing interesting characters  aside from jared leto and joshua jackson  who arent on the screen long enough  no one in urban legend makes the grade  alicia witt shows none of the acerbity or wit she displayed on cybill  rebecca gayheart actually looks unattractive  not to mention as dumb as a post through 34 of the film  and robert englund just cruises on auto pilot  good thing brad dourif is here  but wait    hes only in the movie for five minutes and hes just redoing his goodnatured stuttering character from one flew over the cuckoos nest  which brings me to another aspect of urban legend  its unoriginality  the film most blatantly ripped off is scream  another reason that makes me think silvio horta wrote this after cravens and williamsons great success   urban legend tries to deconstruct modernday folklore much the same way scream deconstructed slasher films  but it doesnt quite succeed  its best stab at selfreflexivity is poking fun at  that girl in the noxzeema ad   ie  rebecca gayheart  we also have another killertauntinghisvictimonthephone routine in urban legend and quick  what movie is this exchange of dialogue from  female protagonist  why  villain  why  why    congratulations to those of you who answered scream andor urban legend  like i said  this movie couldve been great  if only silvio had worked or been allowed to work a little longer on the script  still  at least urban legend had some pretty cool death scenes and a somewhat realized whodunit angle which makes this slasher is waaaayyyyyy better than i know what you did last summer  
neg	drew barrymore is beginning to corner the market on playing the girl outside  the one whos the awkward klutz or the spunky doityourselfer  the one who just doesnt fit in with the others  she has perfected these characters in movies such as  the wedding singer  and  most notably   ever after   now shes back  starring in what could be called a modernday cinderella fable   never been kissed   you know its a fable because she plays a copy editor at a newspaper who has her own office as well as a secretary  trust me on this one  no copy editor has seen the inside of a private office since gutenberg  and i dont mean steve  invented the printing press  the premise is simple  barrymores josie geller  at 25 the youngest copy editor ever to be hired by the chicago suntimes  is assigned to go undercover and return to high school to do an expose on what todays teens are feeling and doing  josie  she says she was named after the 70s cartoon character  was a geek in high school  so she jumps at the opportunity for a second chance  this time  she thinks  she will get it right and be accepted by the incrowd  now  what kind of adult  with a good job and a successful career  would actually look forward to reliving the hell that was  and is  high school and adolescence  these are among the many problems that plague  never been kissed   screenwriters abby kohn and marc silverstein cannot get a handle of josie  their script has her capriciously switching from confident adult to ditzy  blubbering womanchild at the least provocation  and the fact that an adult would put so much stock into trying to become tight with the vapid airheads who are supposedly south glen high schools most popular girls leads you to question her maturity and mental stability  ok  so  never been kissed  is not a sociological expose of todays high school scene  however  certain rules should apply to film  and one of those is consistency of character  among the movies problems is the illconceived conceit that josie would seriously strive to climb the high school food chain and  in the process  lose focus on her assignment  any competent editor would have tossed her ass out the door quicker than you could say  get me rewrite   to be fair  barrymore is very appealing  but she is given very little to work with  she tries valiantly to get a firm grip on her character  but the script continually undermines her  barrymore comes off best in the physical comedy aspects of the script in which she tries to walk  talk and act like a cool  hip high schooler  otherwise  she is left foundering on a cliched sea of teenage stereotypes and situations   never been kissed  is entertaining and funny in fits and starts  it lacks consistency and a firm grasp on what it wants to accomplish  the movies main bright spot is provided by leelee sobieski as aldys  the outsider who befriends new student josie  josie sees a lot of her former self in aldys  yet still abandons her to hang out with the popular girls  real mature  and that is the main deficiency with  never been kissed   its illogical  unrealistic  uneven and undemanding  it has some warm and humorous spots  but not enough to overcome its many obstacles  
neg	 come on  silent bob  were going to hollywood   starring jason mewes  kevin smith  will ferrell  shannon elizabeth  seann william scott  chris rock  jason lee  ben affleck  directed by kevin smith  rated r  jay and silent bob strike back is a dumb movie disguised in a smarmy interior  kevin smith  coming off the wonderful  challenging dogma  fills it with subroad trip grossout jokes and expects us to buy it because hes just ohsoironic  but when a movie is so selfaware it becomes about nothing but itself  we can hardly be expected to pay for admission  jay and silent bob  two new jersey stoners who hang out at the doorstep of convenience store selling pot  have appeared in almost all of smiths movies but  if im not mistaken  have not starred in one until now  they find out that there is a movie based on the comic book that is based on them being made in hollywood  this presents two problems  a  they havent received a penny in royalties and b  nerds on the internet   whats the internet    are talking trash about them  what is there to do except go to hollywood and stop this movie from being made  on the way  theyre hitchhiking  because who knew you needed tickets to take a bus   they run into a group of hotties who pretend to be with an animalrights group  but are really jewel thiefs who parade around in charlies angelsstyle outfits  of course  they set jay and silent bob up to look like the thieves  so that there is a massive manhunt going on during the second half of the film  will ferrell  who again proves himself incapable of doing anything but sketch comedy  shows up as the wildlife marshal inspector who thinks the two have stolen a monkey  the movie will probably please only smiths diehard  undiscerning fans  everyone else will be critical of this mindbogglingly stupid effort following some the sophisticated cinema that he churned out in years past  any appeal the movie has will come from the  in  jokes  most of which i think i understood  but the movie is  in  to the point of absurdity  there needs to be something holding it together other than its own smugness  once jay and silent bob get to hollywood  the movie abruptly switches gears from grossout comedy to ridiculously broad hollywood satire  countless  hot  movie stars and personalities make an appearance  from smith veterans matt damon and ben affleck to wes craven  but jay and silent bob strike back resorts to such lowbrow gags as another scream sequel with a monkey as the killer  get it  theyre so desperate for another movie  they ran out of ideas and used a monkey  a monkey  as often happens with writers who are working below what they are actually capable of  most of the really good lines are throwaways  while the big  painstaking gags mostly fall flat  one of the funniest lines in the movie flies by  when asked to comment on the clitoris  dont ask   jay responds   the female clitoris   kevin smith is a talented writer  though i agree that his films would be better off if hed let a real director take the helm   and jay and silent bob strike back holds true to his promise to make a more facetious film  unfortunately  its also shapeless  pointless and largely unfunny  smiths  verbal trampoline   as ben affleck once called his distinctive dialogue  takes a back seat to his dubious instincts as a populist filmmaker  this was supposed to be the movie that didnt offend anyone  but its offensive because its terrible  
neg	let me begin by saying that this is easily the worst movie in the entire official  and even unofficial  james bond series  it is so full of selfparody and silly characters that you would almost believe you were watching a spoof  an omen of what is to come is provided by the precredits sequence  a dull affair featuring a confrontation between a man  its difficult to give a better description since no mention of him is made elsewhere in the movie  and the assassin of the title  a song with woefully terrible lyrics follows  and the rest of the movie is even worse  the plot might have been a pleasant change from the usual ruletheworld so often found in the james bond movies of the 70s  but here we get a confused mismash about a fabled assassin  francisco scaramanga  christopher lee  putting in a performance which is one of the rare saving graces of this movie  who someone has apparently payed one million dollars to in order to remove roger moores 007  there is also a flimsy connection with the energy crisis and a missing solar cell with 95 efficiency  its as much of a mess as it sounds  bond is  helped  in his task by mary goodnight  ekland   whose character couldnt possibly be any closer to the stereotypical bimbo  during the course of the movie she gets locked in both a closet and a car trunk  blunders around a control room accidentally setting off a laser and serves no purpose in enhancing the plot whatsoever  maud adams  later to star in octopussy  is a much more stronger and useful character  but she hardly features in the movie  scaramangas lackey is a dwarf called niknak  who rather fittingly is also possibly the silliest henchman in the series  serving up annoyance and weak dialogue in equal measures  worse still is an almost total lack of action throughout the whole movie  there is but one fight sequence about fifteen minutes in  not counting a ludicrous scene where two teenage girls beat up several dozen trained martial artists  another misguided attempt at humour   the solitary car chase might have been a highlight  but the  action  is interrupted on a frequent basis by a redneck sheriff  j  w  pepper  played by clifton james of live and let die  fame   yelling stupid comments out of the passenger window  he is easily the most irritating character in a james bond movie  even his presence could have been made bearable by one of the most impressive car stunts in cinematic history  a 360 degree twisting loop jump over a broken bridge  could have been  except somebody got the idea to dub a mocking whistle tone over the final print  on top of that debacle  the whole end of the film is an anticlimatic sequence in scaramangas  funhouse   the only good thing that came out of this movie was that the producers had to make the next film in the series  the infinitely superior  the spy who loved me   a great film in order for the bond franchise to survive  
neg	since director steven zaillian previously wrote the powerful screenplay for 1993s steven spielberg drama  schindlers list  and directed 1993s intelligent  searching for bobby fischer   his new film   a civil action   should most likely be looked upon as an unfortunate misstep in an otherwise prosperous career  what doesnt make sense is how such highprofile and superb actors as john travolta  robert duvall  william h  macy  and kathleen quinlan got involved in this project  which is both dull and completely ineffective  the film  which involves a small community of children who mysteriously died of leukemia  certainly contains the type of story to be emotionallycharged  but somehow all signs of feeling have been completely removed from the proceedings  leaving us with nothing more than a poorlydone courtroom drama  based on a book by jonathan hart  which was consequently based on a true account   a civil action  is set in 1982 in the town of woburn  mass   where personal injury lawyer jan schlictmann  john travolta  decides to take on the case of eight families who simply want an apology for their childrens death from leukemia due to unknown causes  jan originally decides to drop the case  but when he stumbles across to corporate giants  grace and beatrice foods  who have plants located near the families homes  he sees all of the pieces suddenly fall into place  the two companies have been leaking harmful chemicals into the nearby lake which  thus  goes into the citys drinking water  suddenly  after hearing about the families heartbreak and personal stories  he begins to care for them and becomes determined to get to the bottom of the mystery  even though he is warned by his staff accountant  william h  macy  that no money is coming in to them  only going out  also figuring into the story is jerome facher  robert duvall   beatrice foods corporate counsel  who finds himself in heated waters when jan will not accept his 20million offer to settle the case  coming from such a talented writer  director  and cast  not to mention one of the most interesting film composers  danny elfman   a civil action  is an astoundingly emptyheaded drama  one that includes an intriguing story and somehow transforms it into an admittedly tiresome and occasionally even boring experience  perhaps one of its major problems was that in its attempts to be a relatively uncommercial motion picture  zaillian has misplaced its refreshing unconventional attitude with an absence of magnetism and even meaning  watching the film  i couldnt help but notice its similarities with 1997s far  far superior film  the sweet hereafter   which dealt with a lawyer  played brilliantly by ian holm  investigating a school bus accident that killed a number of children  in his attempts to find someone who may have been responsible for the accident  holm interviews the grieving parents  as well as the sole surviving passenger  a teenage girl  which starts to remind him of his own teenage daughter  a young drugaddict who has run away from home  not only was the plotting similar to  a civil action   but it also had the same exact running time of 115 minutes  considering this  it is amazing how fulfilling and truthful  a sweet hereafter  was  not only concentrating on the school bus accident  but delving deeply into ian holms character and his own personal demons  as well as the teenage girl  in  a civil action   however  i have no idea where the running time went  since the film is virtually two hours of nothingness  we do not get to know the parents very well  nor any of the main characters  through its whole duration  i did not learn one thingnot one thingabout travoltas lawyer character  jan schlictmann  who doesnt appear to have any sort of life or purpose outside of his job  every scene is tediously related directly to the premise  and therefore  there was no one for me to care about or root for  youve got to work pretty hard  actually  to not get an audience to become involved in the parents plight  since their children are dead  but that is exactly what  a civil action  does  to be honest  i would be fairly hardpressed to state an aspect of the film that i actually liked  aside from one flashback to when a mans young son died on the way to the doctor  i remained unmoved and passive about what was going on in the scenes  and more than once found my mind wandering  i could say the performances were good  but whos fooling who  since every character is onedimensionally written  no ones acting abilities are challenged in any way  travolta plays a lawyer well enough  but thats about all he does  duvall virtually sleepwalks through his role  apparently only appearing to give oneliners at every chance he gets  and what in the world is kathy bates doing in the pictures final scene  as a judge  she appears unbilled  since it is just a cameo  but why did she even agree to do it in the first place  finally  when the conclusion arrived and the end credits began to role  the film left me with another question  what was the point  abruptly ending without any susceptible momentum  where none came before that to begin with   a civil action  seemed to me  at least  to be an example of how not to make a courtroom drama  and it certainly did not do justice to the very serious subject matter the film deals with  
neg	synopsis  al simmons  topnotch assasin with a guilty conscience  dies in a fiery explosion and goes to hell  making a pact with malebolgia  a chief demon there  simmons returns to earth 5 years later reborn as spawn  a general in hells army donning a necroplasmic costume replete with knives  chains  and a morphing cape  sullen  wise cogliostro and flatulating  wisecracking violator vy for spawns attention  comments  when todd mcfarlane left marvel comics  where he had made a name for himself as a firstrate comic book penciller on the  spiderman  titles  to join the newlyformed  creatorowned image comics  a new comic book legend was born  spawn  mcfarlanes  spawn  immediately became a commercial and critical success and a defining comic book series of the 1990s  mcfarlane created a hero who was not only original but visually intricate  allowing mcfarlane to utilize his knack for artistic detail to the max  the early  spawn  issues brilliantly capture mcfarlanes genius at illustration and show his early attempts at writing  with the popularity of  spawn  and the success of the current warner bros  s batman film franchise  a movie version of some sort seemed inevitable for spawn  in the summer of 1997  hence  new line cinema released spawn  a liveaction film based on the groundbreaking series  this topheavy exercise in violence and special effects unfortunately topples quickly and leaves fans of the comic book  like me  numbed by how much spawn misses the mark  what happened  why is spawn so bad  todd mcfarlane himself executive produced this disappointing misfire and even appears in a cameo  i dont think  however  that his presence necessarily hurt  or helped  the film  i place the blame  in part  on the recent hollywood trend  fueled by public demand apparently  for special effects blowout movies utilizing the latest computer technology  these films focus upon the effects at the expense of everything else  character  plot  dialogue  etc  spawn  reflecting this trend  shows the audience one gratuitous scene after another populated with morphing characters and filled with unnecessary pyrotechnics  hardly a minute goes by in this film without fires  explosions  knives and chains appearing out of nowhere  glowing eyes  or constantly transforming demons  a lot of it is visually interesting and technically solid  dont get me wrong  but  because the script and cast arent engaging  spawn ultimately comes across like overwrought wallpaper  the surface may capture the eye  but nothing exists underneath   spawns translation of the comic book suffers the most at the storyline level  mcfarlanes spawn was a tortured hero  a mercenary by trade  al simmons was nonetheless a warm man in love with the beautiful wanda  having died and journeyed to hell  he made a pact to return to earth to be with wanda  simmons  however  discovers that his memories are fragmented  his body a creepy mess  and his wife married  despite his sometimes violent nature  readers couldnt help but feel sympathetic toward his plight as the spawn of the underworld  spawn attempts to show all of this but does not spend nearly the time it should to do so  when the characters are developed  they seem absurd rather than touching  the cartoonish dialogue and implausible subplot  a general possesses the antidote to a supervirus called heat16 which he wishes to unleash to enslave the world  do not help matters  spawn  in an apparent attempt to duplicate the success of batman  also unwisely spends too much time on a villain  the violator  batman favored the joker over batman   john leguizamo  like jack nicholson in batman  receives top billing in the cast as the violator  michael jai white  al simmons  spawn  is second  i ordinarily find leguizamo an intensely annoying presence in films which seems to make him a perfect candidate for the violator  the film  however  spends so much time on the violators offensive antics that they grate on the nerves  apparently meant to be the comic relief in the film  as nicholson was in batman   especially when contrasted with the sullen spawn  the violators lines are oftentimes grotesque and unfunny  leaving the audience wishing he would leave  leguizamo does a satisfactory job in the role  but he is seen far too often in the film  michael jai white  a relative newcomer to theatrical releases  seems to be an appealing actor  and he handles his role adequately  but we see little of him without various masks on  more time needed to be spent on whites character before he became spawn for the movie to pull at the heartstrings  a special note should be made about martin sheen as the overthetop  obnoxious  evil general wynn  easily the hammiest performance in the movie  its hard to imagine how sheen mucked up his role so much  after all  he played a vietnam assasin brilliantly in the great apocalypse now  sheens excessive demeanor do not help the audience accept him as a mastermind villain and comes as a surprise considering his extensive career in film  many other elements conspire with the disappointing script and abundant special effects to drag spawn down  mtvstyle  jerky  inyourface editing is one of them  flames  for example  roll across the screen sometimes to announce a shift in setting  cogliostro  unlikely wannabe guide for spawn  serves as a poor narrator for the film  he goofily tells the audience  at one point  that  how much of spawns humanity is left remains to be seen   as if the audience really cares as one violent sequence leads to another  the music  finally  assaults the audience as much as the manic violence and offensive dialogue  loud and obnoxious hard rock fused with drum loops dominate some scenes  to be fair  however  marilyn mansons  long hard road out of hell  effectively compliments spawns return to earth  while filter and the crystal methods   cant you  trip like i do  proves a surprisingly fitting theme song  for as good a comic book as it is   spawn  did not spawn a good movie  spawn  instead  suffers from too much pomp and circumstance  and too little plot and character development  it receives two stars for its technically welldone special effects  many other films  though  have equal  if not superior  special effects and are much better  rated pg13  spawn seems more violent than many rrated movies and probably wouldnt be appropriate for the very young  
neg	i cant recall a previous film experience where the fairly good time i was having turned as sour as quickly as it did during feeling minnesota  for forty minutes or so  i was lured into a loopy if occasionally overwrought romantic comedy  and i was even giving keanu reeves the benefit of the doubt  then  rather suddenly  i was clubbed over the head with a nasty bit of violence  shortly thereafter  i was whacked in the gut by another  feeling minnesota is a film that made me feel violated  as though i had trusted writerdirector steven baigelman to bring me a cool glass of water and instead he threw acid in my face  feeling minnesota tells the story of a topless dancer named freddie  cameron diaz  who finds herself in deep trouble when her boss red  delroy lindo  suspects her of stealing from him  reds punishment is to force freddie to marry his bookkeeper  sam clayton  vincent donofrio   who is far from the man of freddies dreams  enter jjaks  keanu reeves   sams estranged younger brother  who arrives at the wedding just in time to catch freddies eye and have sex with her in the bathroom  united in their mutual attraction and their mutual loathing of sam  jjaks and freddie take off together  but sam isnt ready to let them go without a fight  freddie  meanwhile  isnt ready to let sams money go without a fight  and thus begins a series of violent confrontations  there is both style and substance to the beginning of feeling minnesota  as baigelman opens with an effective montage showing jjaks and sams intense sibling rivalry as boys  and their mother  tuesday weld  sending jjaks away to live with his father  it does a great job of setting up jjaks unstable life  a life which has landed him in trouble for petty crimes and always trying to please his family  reeves wounded look is just right for jjaks  the wedding sequence includes a number of nice moments  most notably the aforementioned bathroom scene in which a simple question is given a very funny spin  most important  baigelman begins to establish the connection between freddie and jjaks with humor and economy  as in a scene where they both spontaneously begin singing along to the replacements  i will dare  on the car radio  you would have every reason to expect that relationships  both familial and romantic  would be the focal point of feeling minnesota  unfortunately  you would be dead wrong  i suppose i should have expected daisies and valentines after an early scene in which red threatens freddie as she tries to avoid the wedding  but i certainly didnt expect what i got  what i got was yet another in a long line of recent films trying to ride the tarantino wave by mixing gags and brutality  or rather creating gags about brutality  suddenly  the story of romantic entanglements and family conflict becomes a story about a corpse  and everything which had come before degenerates so completely that virtually nothing is recognizable  the sibling rivalry not only becomes little more than an excuse for one round of beatings after another  but there is no consistency to the characterizations  vincent donofrio turns in a manic performance as sam  whose jealousy  competitiveness and apparent sense of inferiority seem far more in keeping with what we know about jjaks  while reeves turns into a framed hero too reminiscent of chain reaction  and both of them spend most of the second half of the film screaming and covered in blood  there are films which have managed to employ a radical shift in tone successfully  jonathan demmes something wild and neil jordans the crying game come to mind   but they didnt try to draw an audience with the promise of relatively innocuous entertainment  i dont want to dismiss baigelmans successes out of hand  he gets a fun performance out of dan aykroyd as a crooked cop  and some wellcrafted comic moments  and it is not his fault that fine line has chosen to promote feeling minnesota as a lighthearted caper  it is his fault that he violates his own characters for the sake of shock value  and that he cant make his two halves into a whole  feeling minnesota left me feeling used  and theres not much funny about that  
neg	wolfgang petersens latest  the perfect storm  is like a pineapple  it only tastes good after arduous peeling and digging  if you try to eat the fruit  spikes and all  its going to hurt  quite a bit  ok  maybe that was a confusing analogy  so heres my main complaint about the latest man battles nature flick  there isnt really much of a story to tell  basically  a massachusetts fishing crew goes out to sea on a small boat  called the andrea gail  and gets stuck in the middle of  the storm of the century   how much time does it take for petersen to tell this story  not nearly enough  so he spends the majority of the film developing pointless side stories which all eventually become superfluous  audiences want to see the storm  they want to see a fight for survival but what they get is a lot of cliched  maudlin drivel  the last quarter of the perfect storm is utterly perfect in every aspect  but just try lasting the first threequarters  i have yet to read sebastian jungers the perfect storm  but from what i have heard it is an unforgettable tale  based on a true story  the book must have found some other way to introduce the characters because in the movie version  the approach is weak  using a wonderfully patriotic score by james horner  petersen almost hides the inyourface banality  right away the central characters are introduced  the gritty  determined captain  george clooney   the ingenue  mark wahlberg  torn between his job and his girlfriend  diane lane   the loving father  john c  reilly   the comic relief whos always trying to get laid  john hawkes   the new guy  william fichtner  who immediately antagonizes a crewmate and the quiet  french guy  allen payne   so many problems strike the opening segment of the film that the remaining portions directly suffer  it is not the allstar casts fault  just the characters designed for their portrayal  allen paynes character never speaks in the entire movie  not because he is mute  but because hes never given any lines  are we supposed to root for a guy whose face and voice we are never given a chance to interact with  fichtners character is terribly underdeveloped  we dont know what hes doing there  where hes from  or who hes supposed to be  the remaining four fishermen are all cardboard stereotypes  hawkes says to a female stranger in one scene  you know what would look good on you  me   ooooh real creative   as the script advances and the andrea gail floats farther out into the waters  the crew continues to not feel human  only when the storm takes center stage does the movie jump out of its sleepwalk  the computergenerated images of gigantic waves crashing against a helpless boat are thunderously real  i can only imagine if this was an imax film  this city kid would surely never go in the water again  this is loud  jolting entertainment  adjectives that completely negate the rest of the film  the perfect storm was unfortunately a disappointment  the maelstrom lived up to its potential but everything else failed to do so  i guess ill stick to that other survival spectacle  you know the one on cbs  
neg	synopsis  valerie  a high school junior who doesnt look a day under 22  writes bad poetry  complains about how much she hates school  fantasizes about a young guy on trial for raping and murdering six women  chooses him as a pen pal  and plays hooky to see him in court  after a jailbreak  the killer puts on big sunglasses  wears a halfbuttoned jacket  and uses his fatal charm to go after valerie  comments   alan smithee  directed fatal charm  which should have been more appropriately titled  fatal bore  or  fatal crap   if you find out that a film youre about to see is directed by  alan smithee   then you should seriously  seriously  seriously consider watching something  anything  else   alan smithee  is a pseudonym which a number of directors have used when they produce something really bad  frankly  id be embarrassed if i had directed this turkey  so i think i understand why the director might have picked the  alan smithee  moniker for this film  where to begin with this painfully poor thriller  lets start with the acting  its pretty bad  amanda peterson plays valerie and shows at least some talent  the rest of the cast dont   even though her performance isnt exactly stellar material  shes also miscast  she seems way too old to still have a year of high school to complete  her scenes with valeries mother  played by mary frann  are a joke  the two look as though theyre a couple of coworkers going out to lunch together  rather than a daughter with her mother who just doesnt understand  christopher atkins  a handsome enough actor who plays the killer  adam  looks like a clown in the second half of fatal charm  trying to appear malicious and dangerous  he wears large sunglasses and a halfbuttoned jacket  if disney decided to do a zany comedy caper about the unabomber  atkins would probably be a perfect candidate for the lead  but he doesnt cut it here  early on in the movie  a number of scenes occurs in a courtroom  outside of the laughably poor performances given by the actors portraying lawyers  the people sitting in the benches provide the silliest effort at drama in the film  they constantly shift and turn and arc their heads in mock interest in what has got to be one of the worst perfomances that a large group of people have given at one time ever  fatal charms storyline  such as it is  inspires more yawns than thrills  the script belabors a red herring  early on  about a second suspect who may have committed the murders for which adam  atkins  is charged with  this suspect  however  turns up strangled and drowned halfway through the film  an obvious plot fault  even for the idiots who didnt consider the movies title as valerie and a blond newsreporter commented how innocent and charming the defendant seemed  it becomes quite obvious that adam is dangerous when the other suspect washes up  so  the audience must wait  if they havent already stopped watching  as the necessary details fall into place and the killer goes after the heroine in the drawnout finale  the video box for this dud describes fatal charm as an  erotic thriller   a thriller it isnt  and neither is it particularly erotic  i cant imagine  if someone were in the mood for something  erotic   that hed be happy after watching this fluff  a few erotic moments occur in the film  they take place in a van with little lighting and are filmed out of focus  see  theyre supposed to be valeries fantasies  how creative   on a personal note  i was disturbed by the ludicrous english literature class shown in this film which valerie had to suffer through  its no wonder why she hated high school so much  as an instructor of english myself  i have a hard time accepting the fact that in a course emphasizing great literature  a teacher would stoop to reading a students bad poetry  of course  its valeries  about boyfriends out loud and then embarassing its author in front of class with questions about the poems inspiration  i guess the public school system is still setting dubious standards for its students  fatal charm wont charm anyone  unless theres someone thats charmed by boring  lifeless  insipid  suspenseless thrillers  if you happen upon this turkey  just keep moving on  
neg	a highly intelligent life form that is completely electronic in nature  beams itself onto a russian science vessel  well  this is the point where the movie strays from becoming a decent and original movie and simply becomes a predictable scifi thriller  anyhow  this life form takes control of the computers on the russian vessel then starts creating highly advanced robots to help it in its gruesome task of exterminating the  virus known as man  the original crew of the russian vessel is all but exterminated  and then a hapless crew on a tug discovers the derelict ship and tries to salvage it  no more needs to be said as to what happens and where the conflict lies  the movie is that predictable  the story is full of very shallow characters that dont do much other than subsist  the captain of the tug  played by donald sutherland  makes irrational choice after irrational choice leaving the audience wondering as to how he has survived long enough to reach his age  looks to be in his 60s   to add to this were shown this motley crew that at times seems to be highly skilled in specific fields  and at others seems barely capable of basic tasks  some of the supposed capabilities of the characters leads one to wonder what they are doing on a tug transporting cargo in the middle of the pacific  in a typhoon no less  none of the characters seem to work together at all  they are always bickering and vying for some form of control  this makes no sense what so ever and only takes away from the story  a story that is full of holes and is extremely predictable  all the flaws of the actual story are only helped along by the special effects  the waves that are generated to be part of the typhoon make it look like boat was is small model sitting in a tub and someone is simply creating waves  it looks genuinely fake  granted trying to recreate a typhoon or hurricane cannot be easy by any stretch of the imagination but having the storm approach in a style similar to the huge wave of deep impact only ends up looking corny and amateurish  also on the topic of flaws  the robotics that the advanced life form creates seem to move extremely slowly  why  if this life form that is so advanced as to be able to create these robotics  should it not be able to create them move faster  regardless  the special effects in this movie in many cases take away from the film rather than add to it  as to the actual casting for the movie  finally there is nothing to complain about  the actors were superb  but then again it is highly doubtful that chimpanzees would have had difficulty acting the roles  having the cast that was present probably saved this movie from being an absolute catastrophe  watching these actors act this story out made it bearable  if barely  the one saving grace of this movie is that it was highly action packed and there always seemed to be something happening  so if you are going into this movie not expecting to see anything grand and are only going to kill some time and watch a mediocre scifi thriller then you wont be too disappointed  as the movie is but the latest in a genre that was originally created by aliens  it does little more than try to cash in on that aspect  this movie would be best left for video and even then you might be advised to simply wait for one of the major networks to air it on tv  
neg	this movie is based off the wildly popular videogame series of the same name  before this film  the game had a few spinoff cartoons which were ok  but the idea of doing a movie is insane  it should have been animated  if it should have been done at all  instead the people do the best they can with a talented cast  yet it still fails  the plot is completely different from the games plot im not complaining about that  the story involves the mario bros  having a plumbing business in brooklyn and having to compete with a rival company  eventually they find a construction site by their nemesis  which happens to be enviromentally unsafe  so  due to luigis  john leguizamo  girlfriend  princess daisy  they go and investigate  they get transported to a blade runneresque world lead by king koopa  dennis hopper   somehow a plot dealing with all the dinosaurs being mutated and transported to an alternate futuristic megacity jumbles in  the plot is fine better than the movie deserves  the acting is ok  this seems to be more of a visual film  the special effects are good  especially on the robotic yoshi  however the film drags and is no fun  and it leaves itself open to a sequel  which probably wont ever be made  this movie begins sort of promising  but ends up leaving a weird taste in your mouth  so if you want to watch a sort of odd movie starring the excellent dennis hopper  then watch super mario bros   the movie  you could do worse  but you could definitely do better     street fighter  the movie  1995  starring  raul julia and jean claude vandamme this movie was based off of a series of never ending sequels to a game called street fighter 2  it has all the characters from the game in a reasonable plot  it is more like a  movie  than it should be  yes  its watchable  raul julia does a good job  considering this was his final film  while the game had nonstop fighting sequences  this movie is a hodgepodge of action scenes and flashy sets and costumes while trying to show off a plot at the same time  does it work  sort of    the plot involves the evil shadowloo organization run by m  bison  raul julia   guile  jean claude vandamme  takes his troops to attack bisons main base in an attempt to liberate the innocent villages he has taken over  in a short amount of time  the movie introduces several characters well  it catches your attention  but it ultimately seems like a showcase for fans of the game so you can point out things like  theres chun li    or  look at that fireball ryu did at vega   it hits the bases by presenting the characters in a plot with good sets  but goes no further  this movie needed more action in the first place  the action scenes that are here are short and not very exciting  if you like lighthearted action flicks  or if you liked the game  watch this one  it is even worth watching if you want to see raul julias last performance  or if you cant get enough of van damme  other than that  you could find better action flicks   
neg	studio 54 attracted so many weird and bizarre people to its gates that its a wonder why the film about the life and death of the studio centers itself on one very boring  cliched individual  not to mention an ensemble of people who wouldnt be at all fascinating unless they worked at the studio  which they did according to this film  are we supposed to believe that out of all the strange folk who populated the studio nightly  that a character who is a bland ripoff of tony manero would really make a good protagonist for the film about it   54  belongs in the elite group of films known as  the big disappointments   the films that attain so much hype andor so much potential in its creation that they come off worse than they are when they are finally finished  i was heavily awaiting  54   not the least because ive become fascinated with the infamous club  which has been the subject of an engrossing documentary thats been running all summer on vh1  which is  weirdly enough  much more intriguing and engrossing than this  edgy  film  perhaps more importantly   54  is part of the blossoming subgenre   the 70s nostalgia film   which has been picking up mighty steam  what with  boogie nights  and  the last days of disco  coming out within the year  and both being such damn good movies that not only captured the feel of a certain time period  the late 70s party and the early 80s wakeup period   but brought us interesting and real characters  like scotty  the tragically gay boom mike operator from  boogie nights   and charlotte  the ironically clueless and bitchy coprotagonist from  the last days of disco   not to mention several others   54  deals not so much with the timeline of the studio  how it began  how it was run  how it ended   thats all dealt with in the narrated opening and finale  but more interested in the characters who populated it  this is a definite plus  heres a film that could have been a fascinating 2 hour plus film about the tragic people who went there to party  and had to wakeup in the 80s when things like diseases  economy problems  and perhaps worst of all  reagan  all hit and forced everyone into a rude awakening  the story of the studio is tragedy in itself  lets look at how it all affected the people  but this film doesnt let that happen  it gives us a halfassed protagonist named shane oshea  ryan phillippe  from  i know what you did last summer    whos chief character trait is the fact that hes from new jersey  which also happens to be his chief character flaw  i guess   hes dimwitted  into being part of  the scene   and soon finds hes become a bit of a rave amongst the studio regulars    a bit like  saturday night fever   cept no travolta and no real interest put into him  poor  poor phillippe struggles to make him interesting  but all he is a halfassed character and not at all our ticket to the glimpse of the decadence going on inside the club that he could have been  shane begins to hang out with some other denizens of the club  like anita  salma hayek   a wannabe donna sommers  and her young hubby  greg randanzo  breckin meyer  from  clueless    who helps shane become a bartender and rise to a bit of fame  although he begins to get somewhere when he sleeps with the foxy billie auster  sela ward   an exec of sorts  he falls in lust with a soap star named julie black  neve campbell   and thus the boring romance subplot thats all too not necessarily important to anything else in the film and never really becomes interesting at any point in the film  the films sole point of interest and one major strongpoint is the alltoo necesary personage of steve rubell  played by mike myers  you heard me   rubell  the famous head of the studio acted as if he never stopped partying ever  and is an easy metaphor for the life and times of his creation  but the film  thanks to a surprisingly strong performance by myers  makes him out to be more than that  notice the scenes sole shocking scene  where he tries to get felatio from one of his male employees in turn for a promotion  myers brings the humanity to rubell in this scene  and a couple others  that some of us whove only seen him on tv never saw  and proves to be perhaps the one aspect of studio 54 that this film actually nails  first time feature director mark christopher proves that hes a better director than a writer  though not too terribly much  his story is trite and shallow  as are his characters  and his direction is shockingly flat  especially for a film about this subject  its as if he had a great story to tell  but instead opted for the easier route  the studios recreation is amazingly accurate  though  and very impressive  but his direction is never captivating enough  some people say that a film does its job if it makes you want to visit the locale it takes place in  despite the films tone  i still want to go to rome and its many nightclubs after i saw fellinis  la dolce vita    and when i watched  54   i didnt particularly want to stay  
neg	in the past  tim burton has taken cinema by storm with the action packed batman  and the hilarious ed wood  but lately his films just dont cut it  sleepy hollow has some unique features  but the script is a terrible mess  for those who remember disneys fantastic  adventures of ichabod crane   it is actually superior to this  disneys version was at least interesting  while burtons film drags on far too long  without any suspense or frights  while the stories are similar  the new version adds too much to the once likable story  and throws in some weak dialogue to top it off  ichabod crane  johnny depp  is now apparently a constable  who was sent to new york to investigate suspicious murders  the victims are headless  and no traces of evidence were found  until the murderer reveals himself  hence the headless horseman  now with the help of christina ricci and an orphaned boy  they must stop the headless horseman from a killing spree  that could destroy the whole town of sleepy hollow  sure the headless horseman is an intriguing character  but the story has so many holes that even he nor depp can save this disaster  in the original  the headless horseman was meant to be unstoppable  no one could stop him  not even ichabod  by the end of the film  it had audiences in deep thought  burton however concentrates far too much on the atmosphere  and how to make the main characters heroes  he takes no risk what so ever  and this is where he fails  another pathetic element of the film was the script  like i said earlier  he just stuffed too much in at one time  and made it look real sloppy  kind of like the mess the headless horseman made with his victims  he completely butchered the story to pieces  thankfully there are a few factors that i particularly liked  the acting by depp was quite notable  he took the nerdy character of the cartoon  and simply acted it out in a better manner  if it wasnt for his quirky oneliners  i doubt i could have remained awake  because quite frankly i was getting sleepy  just when i thought christina ricci was getting to be a good actress  she winds up doing this  it just goes to show no actress or actor can pass up a big blockbuster  its too tempting to let go  even if the script is mush  the atmosphere too was quite involving  i should have just gazed at the sets  and the eerie fog  rather than actually pay attention to what was going on  at least burtons films are eye candy  even if they are trash  the only real scenes of value were the tree full of heads  and the fight between the horseman  depp and casper van dien  other than that  i wish i could just fast forward through all the gaping holes in the film  and just sit back and stare at the scenery  by the end  i can only think back and laugh at how bad sleepy hollow developed  this is the biggest disappointment of the year  especially when such a talented director like burton handles a project like this  dont waste your time or money  because your head will feel hollow  
neg	plot  a rich psychiatrist with a great home life gets his cute daughter kidnapped by some bad guys who want him to extract some information from the mind of one of his nutty patients  of course  the patient is not cooperative and the doctor only has a few hours to comply with their demands  before they kill his daughter  pretty good premise  no  critique  if youre not a fan of movies packed with plot holes  inconsistencies and yes  even more plot holes  heed my words and skip this hollow thriller  and i dont like saying that either  since this film actually had some potential and started off pretty well  sure  the story is basically just an amalgamation of ransom  primal fear and nick of time pureed into one  but the whole  psychiatrist working against the clock  thing  actually had me engaged at first  but its at about the halfway mark of this movie  that the bottom drops out and all that were left with are a lot of questions and very few plausible answers  we get the overly smart kid who manages to  pull one  over on the bad guys  we get a weak woman with her leg in a cast beating the crap out of a tough bad guy  we get douglas character  a new york uppedity psychiatrist  suddenly turning into an action hero  with moves and attitude to boot  and what about the films main plot point  why would the bad guys still give a crap about this thing after 10 years  and even more so  why would they only give the shrink until the days end to do his part   you waited 10 years  whats another few days   or why not set up another heist instead    ill tell you why  its because we wouldnt have a  bad  movie otherwise  thats why  and many  many more  ugh  whatever the case  it was just about the time that douglas character suddenly removed murphys character from the mental home  and how come she went with him so nicely  i thought she didnt trust him   that i turned to my buddy and asked when the movie had turned into a joke  and a few bogus chase and action sequences later  we were left with a longwinded ending that did little to answer any other questions i mightve still had  and actually brought up even more contradictions  badly put together  this movie features some decent acting  some nice cinematography and an initially interesting premise  but loses it all in a haze of plot miscues which ultimately leave you with little care for anyone  in fact  if it wasnt for brittany murphys excellent portrayal of a traumatized teen  jennifer espositos embarrassing performance as a police woman  yeah  right  watching her delivering lines was the funniest part of this flick but it wasnt supposed to be  and michael douglas cool  regular guy  part  there would be little reason to remain seated until the end of this picture  incidentally  can anyone please give me one good reason why espositos character was in this movie in the first place  she was completely superfluous  and on top of all that  by the end of this flick  the director seems to have realized how dumb the audience must be to have bought most of the garbage that hed been shoveling out for the hour and a half prior  and decides to add insult to injury by flashing back to an earlier characters death when one of the bad guys dies  just so we know  as an audience   that the two are interrelated somehow  ooooh  thanks  mr  fleder    i appreciate the spoonfeeding  dude    yum  yum    but how about explaining every other plot point in your film that made no sense  whatever  either way  i dont give a rats ass because this movie is a dog and thats unfortunate because it actually did have some good points going for it  see it if you like dumb thrillers  incidentally  if you appreciated along came a spider  you will likely enjoy this film as well  they both start off with interesting premises  only to toss all logic and sense out the window about halfway through  wheres joblo coming from  along came a spider  410   girl  interrupted  510   kiss the girls  710   primal fear  710   seven  1010  
neg	i wish more films would take on issues of faith and morality in the modern world  and i wish that filmmakers would use commandments as a blueprint on how not to do it  writerdirector daniel taplitz has created a bizarre conglomeration of satire and soulsearching in this tale of seth warner  aidan quinn   a man of faith who runs into a streak of bad luck which usually inspires countrywestern lyrics  his pregnant wife drowns  his home is destroyed by a tornado  he loses his job and his dog is crippled by a bolt of lightning  convinced that god has broken his half of the covenant  seth decides to break his  and sets out to turn every  thou shalt not  of the ten commandments into a  thou shalt   and vice versa   his wifes sister rachel   friends   courteney cox  wants to help seth  rachels selfish husband harry  anthony lapaglia   who tends to break a few commandments of his own  thinks seth is a lunatic  thus begins a film which picks the wrong tone for every occasion  taplitz isnt interested in treating seths tragedies as genuinely tragic  making it impossible to sympathize with him  composer joseph vitarelli provides a score full of whimsical woodwinds  turning seths sacrilegious mission into an amusing lark  quinns performance as seth is all wildeyed fervor without any genuine pain  the actual breaking of the commandments is almost treated as an afterthought  with one through five dispatched in a fiveminute montage  the result is a character whose actions feel less like the authentic responses of an anguished man than the machinations of a highconcept movie plot  its not even entirely clear that commandments is about seth  corporate attorney rachel is given a case which is supposed to soften a hard heart we see no indication she has  while harry gets his comeuppance as part of seths  false witness   only courteney cox strikes a note of reality in a solid performance  she is sane center around which too equally troubled men revolve  even she cant force taplitz to decide whose story this is  or what we should have learned about dealing with the struggles in our lives and our relationship with the infinite  by the time seth makes a singularly biblical reappearance late in the film  it has become clear that taplitz is aiming for a fantastical fable which makes no connection with real human experience  commandments is a bad comedy which could have been a decent drama if daniel taplitz had had the guts to take faith  and the loss thereof  at all seriously  
neg	the high school comedy seems to be a hot genre of the moment  with shes all that and varsity blues behind us  and several more set for release later in the year  the teen comedy seems to be experiencing its own renaissance  however  you wouldnt know it from the quality of the latest entry  jawbreaker  this shockingly bitter candy definitely has a sour center  the most popular  and most feared  clique at reagan high school have an unexpected dilemma  they have accidentally killed one of their own  the  teen dream   liz purr  charlotte roldan   choked on a giant jawbreaker during a kidnapping prank for her 17th birthday  now the three surviving girls must decide what to do  it takes little time at all for the groups leader  courtney  rose mcgowan   to decide to cover it up  the ditzy marcie  julie benz  is game to go along  but the cliques final member  julie  rebecca gayheart   has a guilty conscience  to make things worse  another student  the hopelessly geeky fern mayo  judy evans greer  accidentally discovers the truth  the girls cover is surely blown    not so fast  thinking quickly  courtney offers fern a onceinalifetime chance  after a quick makeover  fern is transformed into vylette  the beautiful  new girl  at school  and a fullfledged member of the popular crowd  does this mean that popularity is the key to getting away with murder  or will this finely honed plan crack over time  jawbreaker is obviously attempting to be the heathers of its generation  and failing miserably  i might add  it manages to capture the mix of murder and teen social observations  but misses three crucial elements  sharp dialogue  witty characters and the muchneeded humor  it is possible that jawbreaker might have succeeded in being  darkly  humorous if it wasnt shackled to its deadweight plot  the films most innovative twist is the makeover of fern mayo  at this point  jawbreaker seems poised to spin wildly into the uncharted depths  but then  all of a sudden  the innovation stops  the film becomes mired in the murderandcoverup plotting  which quickly saps what little life and energy there was right out of the film  in the film  rose mcgowan fares the best  as the manipulative clique leader  she truly dominates every scene shes in  not a difficult feat in a crowd such as this  however   its a character crying out for a better movie  or at least another decently drawn character with which to interact   jawbreaker doesnt quite know how to handle its semilikable characters  fern and julie  either one could effectively end the movie at any time by simply revealing what she knows  the lengths to which the film goes to prolong the plot have the unintentional effect of distancing us from these characters  as their motives become murky and unclear  the film finally falls to the point that it doesnt really matter who wins or loses  since all sides have become equally detestable   detestable  is a good word to describe the film  jawbreaker  its certain that  like the murder weapon described in the films title  jawbreaker will be triggering more than one gag reflex in the audience  
neg	capsule  a wild jungle woman and an 11story gorilla are discovered in tibet and taken to hong kong where the gorilla escapes and causes havoc  this is a laughable 1977 rip off of king kong  1976   itself a ripoff  production values are low and audiences seem to like the film mostly for derisive laughter   high 2  4 to 4   directed by ho menghua   this film is provided to be a sort of laughing stock to finish the festival   an earthquake uncovers an 11story tall gorilla in the himalayas  a hunter  chosen because he just broke up with his girl and is at loose ends  gets sent to find the ape and finds a sort of female tarzan who controls the ape   evelyne kraft is the jungle girl in a leather bikini that she is pasted into so she always looks on the verge of bouncing out of   gorilla actor has no idea how gorillas move and suit is terrible  nice miniature effects  however   has almost a music video inside it of jungle girl playing with animals like chichi the leopard   several places there is narrative that is nearly incoherent as if there are missing scenes and the viewer has to guess what happened in the interim   actual location shooting in mysore  ape shown badly matted behind temple   combining of images usually pretty bad  incompetent matching of film stocks   stock footage frequently used   gorilla brought to hong kong by greedy entrepreneur who really abuses the ape before it escapes and tears things up real good  
neg	the bachelor is one of the best terrible movies you will ever see  wading through this gooey  detestable sludge is quite the chore for even a dedicated romantic  those hoping to find some genuine charm and feeling behind this chris odonnell vehicle should wander elsewhere  the bachelor is a painfully clumsy mess strung together with a few brief moments of surprising poignancy  awaiting these moments by enduring the rest of the film is certainly not worth your time or money  although he has not quite evolved out of the stereotypical prettyboy cocoon  chris odonnell has an effortless charm as an actor  most will recognize him as the highflying robin from the two latest batman films  but other abilities are evident behind his boyish smile  can odonnell carry the weight of a film on his shoulders  perhaps  if he found the proper vehicle    but the bachelor falls far short of the requirements  the actor just cant register with such a pathetic screenplay as the guiding light to success  a few instances of adorable humor aside  it becomes apparent that no one could save the festering mess that is the bachelor  odonnell plays jimmie  a hopeless romantic in his late twenties whos progressing in a serious relationship with anne  renee zellweger   jimmie takes anne out for dinner to the restaurant specifically used for proposals  and attempts to ask for her hand in marriage  the problem is that his proposal sucks  big time  you can tell things arent going pleasantly  because jimmie gets the infamous  deerintheheadlights look when anne questions his approach  and then  the plot  along with the stupidity of the movie  thickens  jimmies grandfather  peter ustinov  dies suddenly  leaving a video will behind for his grandson  who also happens to be his only living relative   everybody is speechless when grandpa declares that he is passing down an inheritance in the amount of 100 million dollars to jimmie  of course  theres a catch  he must get married before his 30th birthday  stay joined with his bride for an entire decade  and produce healthy children within the first five years  the bad news is that jimmies birthday is the following day  with anne out of town  he must find a willing bride to share his riches with    and within a very limited time frame  there are certainly a few worthwhile aspects of the bachelor  for one  the movies approach is interesting and not dripping with clich   another is the colorful cast  odonnell and zellweger are cute together  and the supporting cast tries relentlessly to rescue the film from drowning in its own mediocrity  ustinov is enjoyable as the cranky grandfather figure  and james cromwell is sincere and effective as a wise priest dragged through jimmies marital adventures  and now the cons  the approach may be interesting  but in trying an oldfashioned method  director gary sinyor gives the film a synthetic feel  the characters are drawn with obvious  broad strokes  and the plot is bogged down with everything humanly imaginable  yes  the bachelor is far more frustrating than cute  the screenplay is lamely written  and the subject matter poorly conceived  the considerable charm of the two leads is thoughtlessly wasted  along with whatever promise the film initially contained  potential goes out the window early to suit sinyors colorful approach  but not a minute of this hapless drivel seems accustomed to the directors wishes  the bachelor becomes lost without a homing beacon to save it  youve seen the tv spots  havent you  odonnell is madly rushing down a deserted street and the caption reads what is this man running from   in actuality  hes fleeing from thousands of angry brides who want to marry him and inherit his fortune  its one of the few enjoyable sequences in the film   after seeing the movie  i believe that the approaching horde could be something else  odonnell could be running from his angry fans  who have just endured the bachelor  and are hunting him down for revenge  
neg	topless women talk about their lives falls into that category that i mentioned in the devils advocate  movies that have a brilliant beginning but dont know how to end  it begins by introducing us to a selection of characters who all know each other  there is liz  who oversleeps and so is running late for her appointment  prue who is getting married  geoff  lizs boyfriend  neil  her previous boyfriend  ant who has written a screenplay  for the first hour  we get to know these people through everyday activities  as they talk on the phone  go out to dinner  hang clothes on the line  the interactions seem so truthful and guileless that it is almost as if the filmmakers hid cameras around the place and filmed these people unbeknownst to them  at times  the events border on the ridiculous  like the screening of the film  but they still seem in keeping with the characters and their lives  this doesnt sound like a brilliant premise for a film   we just follow a lot of people around who are vaguely related   but its the execution of the idea that makes topless women talk about their lives so engrossing  unfortunately this level of honesty isnt maintained  with about half an hour to go  a sense of impending doom invades topless women talk about their lives and from there is descends into melodrama  such a disappointment after such a brilliant start  the actors are all quite good with ms  danielle cormack as liz being particularly impressive  the energy of her character is palpable and is a major reason the movie is so watchable  a lot of the performances are a bit rough around the edges but this suits totally the documentary feel of the film  it seems like these are real people we are watching rather than actors playing roles  that is why the melodramatic turn of events comes as such a shock  up till that point  i was transported to this world where these real but mildly insane events were taking place  while the final half hour is not beyond the realms of possibility  its unlikely in a way that is jarring to someone caught up in the world of the film  not just the events  but also the tone of some of the end is wrong  clashing strongly with the sense of fun that has preceded it  this is not to say that topless women talk about their lives is not a good film  as stated above  the first hour is superb and even the end is above average  it just takes a turn which means that an otherwise brilliant movie loses some of its gloss  
neg	beware of movies with the directors name in the title  take  john carpenters ghosts of mars   please   if the carpenter brand name wasnt superglued to the title  this embarrassment would surely have bypassed theaters entirely and gone straight to its proper home on the usa network  and i would have been spared a headache  the latest from the director of  starman    halloween  and  escape from new york  is a lousy western all gussied up to look like a futuristic horror flick  the production is set on mars in 2176  where humanity looks for relief from the overpopulation strangling their home world  six hundred and forty thousand people in a matriarchal society live and work at outposts all over the red planet  terraforming to make it more hospitable for future generations  a matriarchal society  terraforming  sounds pretty intriguing  eh  well  dont get your hopes up  
neg	august and september are a wasteland when it comes to childrens films  and october is a dumping ground for munchkin movies the studios dont want to see slaughtered against familyoriented thanksgiving films  last year  the benevolent studio gods gave us digimon  and this year  they bestow max keebles big move on delighted moviegoers across the country  parents will be thrilled because theyll finally have something to drag little austin and kayla to see that doesnt smell nearly as much like ass as digimon did  dont get me wrong  keeble  which is actually only a  ment  away from being a fetish film  isnt that entertaining  in fact  youd be better off waiting to blow your disposable income when the real kiddie pics  monsters  inc   harry potter  come out next month  but if dubya dubya iii tells you to go out and spend money to stimulate the economy  then youd better do it  because gassing up the minivan twice a week just isnt going to cut it   we first see young max keeble  alex d  linz  home alone 3  as a pintsized superhero  delivering newspapers with the pinpoint accuracy of a david beckham cross  foiling the diabolical plans of the evil ice cream man  jamie kennedy  jay and silent bob strike back  and landing the neighborhood honey  brooke anne smith   who  by the way  is the hottest chick in a disney film since emmanuelle chriqui played claire boner in snow day  the scenario is  of course  a dream  max is really a doofus and he wakes up on his first day of junior high school with a pessimistic attitude  no luck with the ladies and only two friends  both of whom can kindly be described as social outcasts  and who were both in snow day   the perpetually robed robe  josh peck  and a clarinetplaying cutie named megan  summer catchs zena grey   who harbors secret feelings for max  things dont get any better for max when he arrives at school  he has to contend with  among other things  a redhot science teacher  amber valletta  family man   a pair of polaropposite bullies  noel fisher and orlando brown   and an illiterate principal  larry miller  the princess diaries  whos secretly diverting the schools last dime into the football program  when maxs father  grownup nerd robert carradine  unexpectedly announces the family is moving to a new town at the end of the week  max decides this is the perfect time to exact revenge on everyone who pisses him off  whoa  dont worry  parents  he doesnt do it kleboldharris style  its all pretty tame stuff  but max ends up in hot water when dad nixes the move  leaving his son dangling in the wind like so many tampon strings  director tim hill  muppets from space  adds a few nice touches  like maxs voiceover character introductions for the films main characters and a flashback scene thats pretty funny  but there isnt too much else happening here stylewise    unless you count some farting  a little puking  and a couple of bizarre cameos from tony hawk and lil romeo  1  30  pg for some bullying and crude humor 
neg	the event horizon is the boundary of a black hole    and  in the future  its also the name of a spaceship that vanished when it tried to go faster than the speed of light by traversing through its own portable black hole  naturally  this is the setup for the other event horizon    the movie  when the ship suddenly appears at the point that it vanished at  just outside of neptune  the crew of the ship called the  lewis and clark  has to go to investigate  and dr  william weir  the creator of the  event horizon   gets to come along for the ride  if youve glanced at a poster for this movie  you know that  supposedly  what follows is  infinite terror   well  i dont know about the  terror  part  but  infinite  certainly seems to qualify    event horizon is a meanspirited  gory  sick excuse for a film  it starts off as an alien ripoff  and then degenerates into a pointlessly bloody slasher flick after about 40 minutes  at least for those first 40 minutes its an  interesting  ripoff of alien  thats a lot more than can be said for the rest of them movie  which seems to go on forever  it not a scary monster movie  nor is it a psychological thriller  it is simply a movie which tries again and again to make the viewers feel sick to their stomach at the site of extreme gore  youve seen this kind of movie before  the hellraiser series had plenty of scenes containing this sensibility  this is a kind of movie for which i have no respect  a kind of movie which i had hoped died out years ago  it is quite possible for a movie to frighten or shock its audience without resorting to nothing more than gore  but event horizon takes the low road  and the viewers pay the price  there are many good  respectable performances  from fishburne and neill most noticably  paul andersons direction is impressive  as it was in mortal kombat  there are many nice special effects  mostly dealing with numerous common objects floating around in zerogravity  the sets are beautiful to gaze upon  and richard t  jones character  cooper  is hilarious and extremely likable  more so than most characters ive seen in recent movies  for the little screen time that he has  and none of this can save the movie from being a dgrade level of film  the idea of a ship that has some sort of life within its walls  a life that knows the fears and inner skeletons of the human passengers  is a promising one  a haunted house story in space isnt such a bad idea  but the final execution is extremely disappointing  thats not to say that philip eisner  here making his feature filmwriting debut  doesnt have talent  for those first 40 minutes  he manages to make a tired premise interesting  adding in aspects of unique flavor into a ripoff story  and thats something that not too many writers can do  he even has one scene that  though it also tries to sicken the audience  has a honestly tense feel to it  the scene in question deals with one of the crew being in an airlock while others try to save him from floating into space   he definitely has something of a gift  but its not fully on display here  i certainly will look forward to seeing more from him  and i hope that his future work fully explores his talent and the story possibilities of the premise  but because of what this movie degenerates into  i have little or no respect  and got little or no enjoyment  out of it  if this is what we have to look forward to in the future of film  then i agree with laurence fishburnes sentiment   god help us   
neg	there is a rule when it comes to movies  a sequel is never as good as the original  there are very few exceptions to this rule  and texas chainsaw massacre  the next generation is not one of them  now if you also take into consideration that the original chainsaw massacre was a really bad movie  and that this isnt even the first sequel to it  you have a recipe for a very painful viewing experience  dont be fooled by the presence of up and coming talents matthew mcconaughey  a time to kill  and renee zellweger  jerry maguire   they made this movie before they were stars  judging by their performances they also made it before they took any acting lessons  its a wonder they ever worked in hollywood again after appearing in this turkey  apparently the producers of this film realized just how bad it was  because it sat unreleased for years until someone decided that they might be able to capitalize off the success of mcconaughey and zellweger  apparently the two young stars were none too happy about this thing ever seeing the light of day  and i dont blame them  they would have been better off if this had been some sort of porno flick starring the two of them  unfortunately for them it is a horror film in which zellweger plays your typically stupid horror film character  while mcconaughey plays a guy who wears a mechanical brace on his leg that he controls with a television remote control   hey  dont say i didnt warn you   to make matters worse  leatherface  the chainsaw wielding maniac  who was never the scariest of psychopathic killers at the best of times  has now become a full blown crossdresser  and spends the entire movie in drag  there is a plot to this movie but it isnt worth mentioning  lets just suffice to say that a group of teenagers are in the typical wrong place at the wrong time and are left to the mercy of remote control man  mcconaughey  and his lipstick wearing chainsaw revving halfwitted sidekick  man  i cant get over just how bad this movie is  this film has absolutely no redeeming qualities  even the obligatory topless babe shot wasnt enough to hold my interest for more than 2 seconds  the writing is bad  the direction is even worse  but both of those things look good in comparison to the acting  this is the sort of movie that they should make people in prison watch  a guarantee you  if criminals thought that they would be subjected to this film they would never break the law again  
neg	as a hotshot defense attorney  kevin lomax  keanu reeves  has a special talent for picking juries that will ultimately acquit his clients  he is also an excellent judge of character  knowing just which strings to pull to sway the jury while breaking down a potentially damaging witnesss testimony  and  on top of that  hes a damn good trial lawyer  in the opening scene  it is obvious that the defendant that he represents is guilty  but it doesnt hamper lomaxs desire to creatively squeeze his client through the doors of reasonable doubt  thereby getting an acquittal  his unblemished record of victories soon captures the attention of one of the most prestigious firms in the country  headed by john milton  al pacino   he is brought to their headquarters in nyc  where he immediately impresses milton  and is subsequently offered a fulltime position as head of their newlycreated criminal law division  lomax is soon given the case of his life  he must defend a real estate tycoon who has been charged with a triple homicide  the draw of fame and his desire to prove just how good he really is begins to isolate him in his own hell  he works late  defends the guilty  pledges his soul to his firm  and begins to neglect his smart but fretful wife  mary ann  charlize theron   but what starts off as a promising john grishamlike story about consciencestricken lawyers takes an abrupt detour as supernatural forces begin to tinker with the story  it begins like a typical parable where a smalltown boy makes it big  but then has to balance his sense of self against the allure of money  power  and greed  but milton is far more than just a corrupt partner of the firm  quite literally  he is the devil in disguise  and as the movie progresses  he reveals some uncanny talents that one could have only if he had sold his soul long ago  freaky and frightening things begin to happen  and after much of the film has elasped  miltons horrifying intent is finally revealed  the movie tries to give us two separate and distinct acts  the first involves the comeuppance of lomax as a bigcity trial lawyer  the second focuses on milton and his ulterior motive for employing lomax  unfortunately  the two never mix well into a cohesive story  and what we get are two underdeveloped stories that rely too much on one shaky revelation to tie them together and an impressive production piece to give it an underlying atmosphere  granted  the film is very handsomelooking  youll enjoy the final scene where the wall mural seemingly comes to life during a heated speech given by pacino  youll also like the images of power and temptation expressed through the fleshy and flashy parties  youll also feel the loneliness and insanity that sets in with mary ann  knowing that her husband is slowly drifting away  this was one of the better storylines  but unfortunately  is only a subplot  as with all things involving the devil  you can expect nothing but the worst  in the first few scenes  reeves anchors the film  but then slowly drifts into the background  his path from selfvanity to selfconsciousness is never fully explored  his actions seem arbitrary  and his reasons for them not fully known  pacinos comical portrayal is spirited  but the vanity of his character begins to shift the focus of the movie  there is another plot or two that is introduced  but never gets revisited  the focus seemed inconsistent throughout  and the final payoff seemed quick and cheap  this movie tries to be horrifying  thrilling  and dramatic all at the same time  however  while the devils advocate strives to get noticed  ultimately it makes very little impression at all  
neg	im not sure i should be writing a review of the witches of eastwick  because im not sure just what the hell  pardon the expression  was going on in it  however  i can express the most important observation i made of it  i  e  i didnt like it  if i had to summarize this film  i think id conclude it was an updating of one of those old new england folk tales of someone selling their souls to old scratch and how they try to get out of the deal  thats the kernel of it  anyway  tossed into this are little bits and pieces that occasionally seem to be saying something about men and women  feminism  the role of the devil  modern reformers  and friendship  unfortunately  little or no effort is ever made to follow up and elucidate on these concepts  theyre simply thrown out and then left to rot while the film goes on apace  actually  i think that most of the audience was even more confused than i was  they came in expecting some kind of supernatural comedy  on the level of ghostbusters  and were a bit confused to be getting a folk tale with philosophical overtones  they laughed  or tried to laugh  at moments that were either barely funny  or much more horrible than funny  as if that could bend the film away from its rather frightening direction  three women  cher  susan sarandon  and michelle pfieffer  live in eastwick  a small midwestern town  one night  while drinking late into the evening  they begin wishing for the ideal man to drop into their lives  in seeming answer to their idle daydreams  a wealthy eccentric moves into a mansion on the hill and seduces each one by attempting to be everything they want him to be  he soon shows evidence of mysticalperhaps demonicpower  and his devotion to the womens merest fantasies or wishes has dangerous overtones  even worse  when ignored his moods become ugly  and he mistreats the women for spurning him  anyway  the problems  all three female characters are fairly uninteresting  and several are cardboard stereotypes  especially sarandons character  we never get inside them  never feel sympathetic to them  because their dialogue and personalities seem pretty bland  as for nicholson  well  even the devil needs a direction to go in  and while darryl van horne is the most interesting character in the movie  due to the grace of the screenwriter and  more importantly  nicholsons acting   he still cant be yanked in one direction and then another without making him a little vague  and then theres the special effects  not in themselvesthey werent that goodbut their overuse  i was almost positive  until i saw the credits  that the witches of eastwick was either produced by alexander salkind  who has turned out the slop named superman ii and iii and supergirl   because of the big name actors in dopy stunts  or stephen spielberg  after the 18th vomit scene and the nicholsonblowndownthestreet stunt  nope  its another bunch of guys  and directed by george miller  who has shown great skill with stuntsspecial effects before  the road warrior   nightmare at 20  00 feet  episode of twilight zone  the movie  but apparently doesnt know when to turn off the wind machine and let his people act  fgawds sake  guys  this is jack nicholson  let him loose  let him grin demonically  skip the splitting earth and fake lightning  watching the scene where nicholson is tossed out of the car by the voodoo doll  all i could think of was   what a waste   if youre going to use slapstick like that  use it up on pee wee herman  nicholson does what he can with the role  and when he can find his bearings  can be extremely good  the scene in the church  for instance   but most of the time  he seems a bit stiff  as if hes not sure what he should be doing next  and no wonder  this script goes all over the map  giving you the feeling that itd just love to be allegory  but its not sure about what maybe if you give it time itll think of something  so what is the witches of eastwick  a horror movie  a folk tale  a comedy  a statement about women  an examination of the religious right or comparitive morality  i tend to think of the image that seems to dominate the movie for me    watching someone regurgitate halfdigested bits of food and cherry pits all over rooms  people  the screen  and ultimately  the audience  in other words  a mess   2  00  if you like nicholson enough to watch him here  maybe 25 of his charm is able to make it through the logjams of others  
neg	the most interesting thing about virus is that the title of the film does not refer to the clunky robotic animals that try to kill our heroes  alas  it refers to our heroes  as it turns out  the alien race that sends a computer virus to earth  via the mir space station  thinks of the human race as a virus  perhaps even a cancer  that needs to be eradicated before it spreads any further  after all  we have taken up this entire planet  and if they let us live for another billion years or so  we might advance beyond our solar system and into the next one  but the human race doesnt have much to worry about  after all  theres a woman named foster  jamie lee curtis  out there stopping the computer virus  shes the chief navigator on a sea vessel  travelling with her is captain everton  donald sutherland   steve baker  william baldwin   woods  marshall bell   squeaky  julio oscar mechoso   and richie  sherman augustus   theyre all sailing in a typhoon one lovely evening when they stumble across an enormous  abandoned russian satellite ship in international waters  lucky for us  we already saw that the computer virus has taken over the ship and eliminated everyone on board  the evil captain everton thinks hes going to take the ship in and get a reward  he convinces his crew that theres going to be big money  so they try to salvage the ship  soon  however  when its apparent that no one is on board and that the ship has no power  they realize that something bad must have happened  finally  they meet nadia  joanna pacula  who explains their situation  a computer virus has taken over the ship  its creating biomechanical lifeforms to eliminate the human race  virus is a truly dumb action thriller  one of negligible intelligence and innovation  when considering the entire film  you will realize that it lacks a single original scene  its a direct ripoff of nearly every james cameron film  aliens  the abyss  and the terminator films are the most plagiarized   more importantly  its basically the same movie as last years deep rising  i liked deep rising simply because its funny  it knows its silly and derivative  virus takes itself seriously  and  in the most serious manner possible  it steals from every good and bad film of the genre  showing you countless familiar scenes  and sporting a cookiecutter plot that any film of the scifihorror genre could fit with a little trimming  but what is so amazing about virus is how poorly the whole thing has been thought out  okay  let me get this straight  the alien race  which is never really explained  is basically sentient electricity  they need to make themselves physical  so they use a space station to get onto a ship  which is surrounded by water  but who cares about that   on the ship  they make a bunch of clunky  immobile robots that somehow kill three hundred people  after that  they start using the dead people to create halfhuman  halfmachine creatures that look like the terminator but are much worse at walking around  the leader  of course  is a big creature  every film like this has a big creature at the end  but the big creature in virus is so big that it has to tear down the walls to move around  virus is indeed a cliched film  but the central flaw lies in the fact that the computer virus just isnt very threatening  its established that they can simply turn off the power to stop it  but the virus has sealed the power room by the time our heroes get there  on one level  virus is almost passable fun  its really gory  and a few of the scenes have interesting camp appeal  the director  john bruno  worked on a lot of camerons films   theres also a nice array of actors  even though none of them do any acting  except for donald sutherland  who does a lot of very bad acting   the bottom line  however  is this  virus is a bad movie  it rips off a lot of good movies that are worth seeing  in that order  i recommend that you rent any one of the alien films  simply to admire the qualities of a creature that actually threatens our heroes  
neg	an american werewolf in paris is a failed attempt to recapture the humor and horror of john landis 1981 feature  an american werewolf in london  where the original had comedy  the sequel has the kind of revolting silliness that can be found in tv sitcoms  where the first installment had chills  this one has sequences that are inappropriately  unintentionally funny  in short  while an american werewolf in london has become something of a minor classic in its genre  the woeful an american werewolf in paris seems destined for late nights on cinemax  it even has the necessary gratuitous nudity   the film opens with a trio of daredevil americans  andy  tom everett scott   brad  vince vieluf   and chris  phil buckman   sneaking up to the top of the eiffel tower to drink wine and do a little bungee jumping  soon they have company in the person of serafine  julie delpy   who has decided to end it all  she jumps  but andy  with a bungee cord attached  goes after her  and manages to save her  at the price of a major headache   serafine disappears  but a smitten andy seeks her out  however  once he learns his wouldbe girlfriends dark secret  he wishes he hadnt  shes a werewolf  cursed to change into a hideous beast when the moon is full  and  to make matters worse  he has suffered a nasty bite himself  actress julie delpy is far too good for this movie  she imbues serafine with spirit  spunk  and humanity  which gives us an emotional stake in the characters fate  this isnt necessarily a good thing  since it prevents us from relaxing and enjoying an american werewolf in paris as a completely mindless  campy entertainment experience  delpys injection of class into an otherwise classless production raises the specter of what this film could have been with a better script and a better cast surrounding her  delpys previous credits include such memorable ventures as krzysztof kieslowskis white and richard linklaters before sunrise  she was radiant  charismatic  and effective in both  given the nature and level of the material she has to work with here  she gets as close as possible to those adjectives  it could be argued that delpy is the only reason to see an american werewolf in paris  but even her most devoted fans should consider giving this one a miss  and if your primary objective is catching a glimpse of her in the buff  check out either killing zoe or the passion of beatrice  those movies have intelligible plots in addition to breasts  the rest of the cast acts at a level considerably below that of delpy  which is to say  they give performances appropriate for the screenplay  tom everett scott  that thing you do  plays the lead like hes in a madefortv movie  it would be kind to call him bland  actors vince vieluf and phil buckman  as andys friends  are no more impressive  julie bowen  happy gilmore  is suitably fetching as werewolf meat  and respected french actor thierry lhermitte has a brief turn as another monster meal  on the technical side  its all bad news  the computergenerated werewolves look painfully unreal  the creatures would probably have been more believable had they been men in wolf suits  repeated use is made of the  werewolf cam   an infrared wolfs pointofview approach thats interesting the first couple of times its employed  then becomes tedious  and the soundtrack includes some alternative grunge rock tunes that clash violently with the onscreen action theyre matched to  director anthony waller  who displayed a confident  edgy style in mute witness  stumbles with this material  never being able to make the comedy and horror elements gel  as a result  we get the worst werewolf sequel since the howling ii  your sister is a werewolf   i will give waller credit for killing off a dog  though  something thats rarely seen in movies these days   an american werewolf in paris is marginally entertaining in a  bad movie  sort of way  but thats a dubious distinction  ultimately  its an unfortunate effort  for  while it isnt unbearable to sit through  it isnt a howl  either  
neg	depending on who you ask  the original sin was either the eating of the apple  the act of disobedience against god  or the act of betrayal  but in case you didnt know this  dont bother remembering it    the words  original sin  never come up in the movie of the same name  let alone the concept of it  the closest the film even gets to catholicism is in its narrative  the story is told by angelina jolie to her priest while on death row in cuba  circa 1900   regardless of its senseless title  original sin does actually have a plot  albeit one of the most mangled acts of screenwriting since the art of war  based on the book waltz across darkness   boy  antionio banderas  places personal ad sometime around 1900  searching for a wife  since this is a century ago  we narrowly dodge a remake of green card  only to find that the girl  jolie  faked her photo and is actually beautiful  skipping a few moderately useless sex scenes  getting the question out of the way  yes  we get to see angelina jolies breasts again   the girl turns out to be a con artist  swindles boy for his money  and heads for the hills  original sin then briefly tries to be a thriller  we see boy go whorechasing  saying he wants to find girl and kill her  but as soon as boy actually finds girl  instead of following what might have been a promising  or at least not completely fucking boring  thriller  the film degenerates into the worst dissection of the virginwhore complex since milk money  girl toys with the idea of reforming her congirl past  all the while avoiding the  other man   a lover that keeps making her start these scams in the first place  add insult to injury with some of the worst stylistic choices in cinematic history  literally half of the film is either in slow motion or uses a strobe effect   and acting roughly the caliber of a b  b  gun  and original sin is one of the most torturous films of the summer  definitely front running to make my bottom ten of the year  dont even bother with original sin  but if you do go  be honest with yourself and admit its pure sex appeal  just keep in mind that although this film may not be the most original on the block  its much worse than a sin  this is sacrilege  
neg	wizards is an animated feature that begins with a narration of epic proportions  over black and white drawings  we are told that the earth is destroyed in an apocalyptic nuclear exchange  sending the remnants of humanity through generations of radiationinduced mutation  the  original  inhabitants of the earth  fairies and elves  return to populate the globe  along with their evil  mutant counterparts  one day  and i say  one day  not to be trite  but because thats exactly how it happened  no advance notice   a fairy queen gives birth to twins  one good and one evil  the twins grow up to be powerful wizards  the good one embracing magic  and the bad one utilizing technology to attempt to expand his evil empire  we are given the notion that an ultimate battle must occur between the forces of magic and those of technology  as unoriginal as the premise is  i was still somewhat interested in how this story would play itself out  theres a lot you can do in an animated fantasy world  after all  i soon learned  however  that the fantasy was the expectation of a decent film  once the transition was made from still art to color animation  an entirely different feel takes precedence  rather than the epic saga promised by the narration  we get a goofylooking world of a saturday morning cartoon  not just the look  mind you  but all the zany sounds like honk boing for years  blackwolf has lost his battles against the magical forces of good  since his armies of ogres and other mutants would get dispirited or distracted soon after battle is joined  however  blackwolf now has a secret weapon  nazis  yup  adolf hitler  the luftwaffe and the wehrmacht  okay  not the real things  but an archival film his minions dug up  projected into the sky for all to see  it inspires his own army while shocking the enemy into submission long enough for the ogres to hack them up  before you know it  there are dead elves everywhere  this is just as well  the characters are so bad that the viewer doesnt care about any of them  theyre either silly  sappy  or both  the dialog gets much of the credit for this  an example is when avatar nonchalantly says   well  looks like my brother and i begin our final battle   not very formidable when hes also the guy who says   this is the biggest bummer of a trip ive ever been on   my favorite line was from a sideline fairy who is asked by her child why good cant fight back against the nazicharged evil  her response is   they have weapons and technology  we just have love   suffice to say  the characters are strictly twodimensional  and we therefore dont expect anything more than the obvious to happen  which it does  the only unexpected occurrence is the way the final battle between brothers is played out  which is anticlimactic and disappointing  please note that it is the action that is unexpected  that it is disappointing is not  the film couldnt settle on a particular mood  it seems to move from dark to light with the cuts from scene to scene and even angle to angle  scenes which are seemingly meant to contain deep meaning are ruined by acts of levity  the dramatics  which seem to occur at random  are overly staged and overly acted  detracting from any kind of value or even enjoyment which could otherwise be gleaned  ralph bakshi  the director  makes an obvious attempt to get a message across in this film  hitler and the nazis were bad  so who doesnt know this already  well  maybe children  okay  so you might say that this is a movie for children  its not  in the scenes where good fights evil  theres a lot of violence and gore that children should not be seeing if theyre watching a cartoon  so is the film for adults  if so  we probably dont need to be bashed over the head to get the point  why not have the bad guys be symbolic of the nazis instead of using old propaganda in a seriously disjointed attempt to show us something we already know  wizards gives us a lot of footage of nazi tanks and airplanes  and hitler giving speeches  however  we dont see any reason why they should be considered bad  we see no atrocities being committed  not even any real battle footage  there is absolutely no connection made between the armies of evil and the third reich  and were not even given a cursory explanation as to why this stuff is inspiring in the first place  this needed to be thought out much more thoroughly if a point were to be made  since subject matter such as this deserves better treatment  id like to assume that bakshi was trying to say that the same nationalist movement that drove the nazis could happen anywhere  at any time  and we must therefore be vigilant  however  im not sure if i want to give him that much credit  
neg	inspired by the 1958 film house on haunted hill starring vincent price  directed by william malone  starring geoffrey rush  famke janssen  and chris kattan  rated r  contains violence  profanity  and brief nudity   synopsis  eccentric millionaire price offers 1  000  000 to each of his guests who appear at a gathering at a former sanitarium  the only catch is that they have to survive the night at the establishment  an establishment haunted by its former staff and patients  comments  house on haunted hill is based upon the original 1958 film of the same title directed by william castle and starring vincent price  in an obvious homage  the millionaires name is price and he sports a thin mustache like price used to have  this is a pretty bad horror film  yet bad horror films sometimes are very entertaining  and house on haunted hill is just such a film  it is  surprisingly  better than another recent haunted house remake  the haunting  a film which owes its basis to the classic horror novel by shirley jackson  the haunting had literary pretensions and fell flat on it face  house on haunted hill owes its lineage to a bmovie 40 years old and makes no illusion that its a crappy horror movie  thus  somehow  it proves slightly more successful  i cant think of another recent film which has had such an eclectic cast  it is this cast which lifts this hohum thriller into a borderline entertaining exercise in camp horror  price  the main character  is played by geoffrey rush  the academyaward winning actor of shine  rush seems to be making a downward spiral in the movie industry  a spiral reminiscent of ben  ghandi  schindlers list  kingsleys ridiculous appearance in the camp scifi classic species  i dont know why  but sometimes its entertaining to see  quality  actors in bad movies  more surprises  rising star taye diggs plays a stereotypical african american sports figure  rather lamely too   and singer lisa loeb    appears as a tv news reporter  the highlight of the cast  however  has to be saturday night live member chris kattan  kattans comic sense provides several good humorous moments as he plays the hysterical proprietor of the former sanitarium  while the first half of the film leaves the audience guessing as to whats exactly going on  the second half dissolves into standard ghost story stuff and loses some of its suspense  a disappointingly cheesy ending really mars this movie too  house on haunted hill  i suspect  has just about left the secondrun theaters  its worth catching on cable next year  if you get a chance  if you have a choice  pick this movie over the haunting  its the better of two evils  you could say  though  more appropriately perhaps  itd be better to say that its the better of two turkeys  
neg	capsule  liebes meets tod  this was a film about sex and death  a morgue attendant accidentally revives a dead woman through necrophilia and brings her into his world which is heavy on orgies  this film says something obscure about the relationship of sex and death  but imparts no insights  to make matter worse this print was poorly subtitled into english from french  0  4 to 4   an attractive 18yearold dies on a disco floor and gets sent to a morgue  one of the attendants  ben  jeanmarc barr  is so attracted by her that he attempts necrophilia  we see him crawling away after a shock  in the middle of sex the dead teen has come back to life   the morgue attendant was just adding a new form of sex to his collection of kinks  he was already part of a group that gets together for sm sex  the revived teen  teresa  elodie bouchez  joins them   moral dilemma of teresas father  ben has abused his daughters body  but in doing so has saved her life   part of this opaque allegory is a man saved from suicide who joins in the sexual hijinx  also involved is a man in the final stages of dying of aids  a close friend of the morgue attendant  he does not get involved in the orgies   the subtitles of our print were white  often on a white background making them often hard to read  but i dont think there was a whole lot of meaning there that was lost   the title means  dont let me die on a sunday   
neg	you know that a movie has issues when most everyone in the audience comes out laughing    and its not a comedy  and what a strange career path for director chuck russell  he starts his career off with a decent take on the  nightmare on elm street  series with his debut as director on installment number three  he follows that up with the blob the very next year  but waits another six years to do his next piece  a little film called the mask starring jim carrey  and then one more star vehicle in eraser two years after that  so then he thought   let me wait another five years  get a weak script jammed with cliches and hope that jimmy smits and kim basinger could pull it out of its ashes     strange dude and one crappy flick  plot  a sixyear old girl is believed to be some kind of mysterious prophet sent down from god  a satanic cult wants the girl to switch over to their side  while the girls aunt wants to    well  save her from those damn devil worshippers  enter one occult expert agent  plenty of bobo cops and lots of nuns praying  and youve just about got the gist of things here  critique  with plot holes the size of my ass  this movie barely squeezes any sense out of its clich  ridden plot  with wasted talent  cheezy effects  bad dialogue and unintentional laughs to boot  whats good about this movie  well  rufus sewell is pretty fun to watch as the head of a creepy runaway childrens sheltersatanist supreme  with seriously wicked eyes and just enough ham in his performance to go with all of the cheese lying around  the little girl is also pretty good but unfortunately her character doesnt really do all that much  and believe it or not  i was actually enjoying some of the films first half hour  which starts off with some promise  but not before bonehead moves after bonehead moves from our protagonist  basinger  just drown the films entire basis of believability  for some reason  it takes her more time than anyone to figure out that her niece is gifted  and even longer to figure out that every move that she makes    is a dumb one  add that to the entire police force of incompetents  save for jimmy smits  whose talent agent advised him that playing the exact same cop character from nypd blue would be a good career move  at least change the clothes  jimmy    zero scares  zero thrills and even less actual drama  and youve got yourself a pretty bad movie  and why would respected actors like christina ricci and ian holm take bit parts in this movie  did they owe the director a favor or something  together  they barely have five minutes of screen time  but i suppose that riccis hospital room scene might be worth a look for some of you horndogs  the worst part about this movie is its hilariously unbelievable ending  which features police officers coming up with the brilliant idea of  sneaking up  on a mans house  who they know to be guilty of a crime  uuuhmm    hows about knocking on the door and arresting his sorry ass  officers   anyway  i dont usually inscribe spoilers in my reviews but the stupidity of some of these characters is just too difficult to describe without validating it with solid idiotic proof  and there was plenty to go around   and did basinger lose some of her acting  talent  during her hiatus from the profession after her 1997 oscar win  difficult to say if it was her lines that were really bad  or if she just delivered them poorly  either way  little originality  very obvious computer effects  little thrills  little drama and very little entertainment value  certainly bestow the honor of one of the worst movies of the summer upon this film  but if you really dont mind a rehashed gobbledygook of various satanic and  kid  based thrillers  and enjoy watching films that dont bring anything new to the table    well  drink some beers  smoke some beans and rent this video  because it may just be one of the funnier thrillers of the year  
neg	adam sandler vehicles are never anything special  but continue to make a load of money  which really goes to show the sad state of cinema today  while good comedies like rushmore  to choose a recent example  gets limited release and doesnt make a lot of money  big daddy got a huge release and has made a lot of cash  its also nothing special and doesnt deserve the money its making  but i digress  sandler plays sonny koufax  a unemployed new yorker with a seemingly low mental age  his girlfriend makes a ultimatum to him  either wise up and get responsible  or shes leaving him  by a strange set of events  koufax ends up with julian  played by twins cole and dylan sprouse  a five year old kid  after a failed attempt to impress his girlfriend with the child  koufax decides he wants to keep the child  however  social worker mr brooks  mostel  finds out that koufax isnt the real father and wants to take julian back  koufax along with his new girlfriend layla  lauren adams  fight to keep the child  big daddy really isnt that good  many of the jokes revolve around toilet humour  and supposedly we are meant to find julian and sonny peeing against a wall to be funny  theres the occasional good one liner  but these are usually strangely delivered wrong and lose most of the humour  the film  after all these silly gags  then suddenly turns sentimental  and this is where big daddy really goes from bad to hideous  the court scene at the end of the film is useless and unbelievable  and not helped by the soppy overacting  its a poor attempt to win over the audience  adam sandler basically plays the same role he has in his last few films  except the wedding singer   joey lauren adams is much  much better  and deserves a far better film than this trash  steve buscemi pops up in a funny cameo  and his scenes are pretty funny  rob schneider is also funny as a crazy delivery man  the two twins who play julian are o  k  they start out rather well  but then becoming annoying and brattish halfway through and finally turn all american wholesome goodness at the end of the film  where the tear juice is turned up high  big daddy is really nothing special  and is not even worth it for a few chuckles  although it is actually well put together  with nice direction  good production design and even some montages  this professionalism cant help the fact that the script and characters are trash  big daddy is for die hard fans of sandler  and thats about it  
neg	deserves recognition for  making this relatively youthful critic feel extremely old and crotchety20 capsule review  this is what feelgood family entertainment has morphed into in the 90s  an hourandahalf commercial  disguised as an unnecessary remake  in which the defining image is that of a grown man launching a volume of green protoplasmic goo out of his ass   between this  rocketman  and george of the jungle  disney has recently eclipsed longtime champion troma as the studio most likely to include a fart joke in a film   as the absentminded professor who invents the titular computergenerated goop  a listless robin williams manages the difficult task of making original lead fred macmurray seem sprightly  the only thing that made this film borderline tolerable for me is my newlyfounded but firm belief that writerproducer john hughes is going to spend his eternal afterlife being conked in the noggin by all of the different blunt instruments hes used for comedic effect in films like this and the odious home alone series  take your kids to see boogie nights instead  
neg	any movie that kills emilio estevez off in the first fifteen minutes has something going for it  unfortunately  this and the familiar theme music are the only worthwhile things about mission impossible  directed by brian depalma  the first problem is that this film has absolutely no connection with the tv show whatsoever  aside from the music  the tv show was about an impossible mission force whose deft teamwork  orchestrated by jim phelps  allowed them to counfound evil dictators of mythic banana republics from inflicting their sordid schemes upon the world  teamwork was the key  this film is set up as a cross between james bond and depalmas  blow out   where the john travolta character was the victim of real and imagined conspiracies from all directions  it was travoltas vulnerability that made that film so exciting and claustrophobic  in this film  tom cruise is basically omniscient  believe that   and so theres no fun going on here whatsoever  the story is about as contrived as contrived gets  and is full of holes  there are basically two memorable sequences  one involves breaking into a kubrickesque computer room  a task that could have been made much easier had the characters a whit of common sense  suffice it to say that the alarm system is disengaged when the computer operator is in the room   the second involves a highspeed train  a helicopter  and the chunnel and does not have to be seen to be disbelieved  the actors are all miscast  especially emannuelle beart as jim phelps wife  who cannot act  and ving rhames as a computer hacker     who looks lost and embarrased to be in this movie  tom cruise is no james bond  and jon voight looks more like bobby  the brain  heenan than jim phelps  brian depalmas career has been bafflingly erratic  at his best  he beats hitchcock at his own game   blow out    carrie    body double   but this is not his best  the screenplay was partly written by robert towne  who wrote the best scenario of the seventies in  chinatown   but this script is perfunctory at best  and terrrible at worst  the cinematography has a comic book redblue emphasis  which is nice to look at  but the suspense sequences are all telegraphed and this movie even features the old  killer who talks too much before shooting thus giving the victim time to think of an escape  trick  please dont spend your money on this  itll only encourage hollywood to make more  
neg	movies based on video games  such as street fighter or mario bros   have never generated much interest at the box office  but when the first mortal kombat movie came out in 1995  it did surprisingly well  with a simple story  a pulsating soundtrack  and lots of awesomely choreographed fight scenes  the movie moved quickly and displayed lots of energy  it got my vote for the movie where i expected the least and got the most  and  if you havent had the opportunity  i would definitely recommend that you see it on video  in the world of mortal kombat  based on the popular arcade game  dark forces from outworld try to infiltrate earths realm with the ulimate goal of total conquest and the destruction of humanity  the mortal kombat refers to a competition  fought by human mortals against outworlds minions  which if won  will guarantee earths safety for another generation  mk2 picks up almost immediately after the humans return victoriously from competition  despite their victory  however  a gateway has somehow opened  and outworld continues in its quest to conquer earth  outworlds warriors include an impressive collection of fighters  including shao kahn  mintoro  a centaur   sheeva  a fourarmed ogre   and sindel  earths mortal warriors  under the leadership of the benevolent god  lord rayden  includes liu kang  princess kitana  sonya blade and jax  who must fight against outworlds forces  its an easy enough premise  but unfortunately  very unfortunately   the writers try to do too much with the movie  it is only a video game  after all  but the onscreen version tries to go beyond its comic book boundaries by adding depth  a conceptualization of selfworth  and worst of all  a love story  this becomes very awkward  because all of the players are fighters and nothing more  they are likable and impressive when they are showcasing their martial arts and fighting skills  but look extremely awkward and uncomfortable when they are required to actually act  this becomes embarrassingly apparent  for example  as the movie tries to develop a romantic bond between liu kang and princess kitana  the original mk was smart in letting the players do what they do best  they spoke little  but fought a lot  thus  the movie was easy to digest  however  mk2 tries to give these players a certain amount of depth  an element that was lacking in the first movie  but the attempt here fails miserably  this uneasy feeling is readily apparent  for example  whenever you hear lord rayden speak  not only does he talk in riddles and offer enigmatic  e  g  useless  advice  but he speaks so slowly as if to simulate infinite wisdom  try reading this half as fast  and youll hear what i mean  but the movie is not a complete fatality  fight scenes are wellchoreographed  highlighted by terrific acrobatics and agility  and players of the game will be rewarded with the inclusion of practically every character from the video game  although their screen time amounts to nothing more than a cameo  even if youre not familiar with the video game  each fighter has their own costume and unique weaponry to easily differentiate themselves  but its just too little of what moviegoers and especially fans of the game will expect  oddly  the inclusion of the human element actually pollutes the purity of the mortal kombat essence  and the poor acting results in a muddled movie that offers the viewing audience little chance for survival   i am now talking very slowly as if to simulate infinite wisdom   rent the first one  but the sequel is for kombat fans only  
neg	if you dont think kevin kline in drag is funny  wait  til you see will smith in dragits even less funny  by the time jim west  smith  disguised himself as a belly dancer to bail his captured comrade  artemus gordon  kline   from the clutches of evil dr  loveless  branagh   i was unequivocally bored by wild wild west  the new summer blockbuster from men in black director barry sonnenfeld  is the old west really a breeding ground for high comedy  anyway   if your answer is no  then you recall rustlers rhapsody or back to the future part iii  if your answer is yes  youre thinking of blazing saddles  but that movie was a parody of the western genre  not a nineteenth century romp   1869  jim west is a quickdraw lawman who teams up with brainiac federal agent gordon  under orders from president grant  kline again  whose impression  for all we know  is deadon   to apprehend legless loveless  the mad inventor who is plotting to divvy up the united states and sell it back to britain and spain  how will loveless accomplish this  well  by hulking around the desert in an enormous  mechanical tarantula  of course  bosomy dance hall girl rita escobar  hayek   whose scientist father was kidnapped by loveless  joins west and gordon on their gadgetfilled train   gordon first discovers rita in a cage  waiting to be rescued   racial politics obviously prevented the filmmakers from pairing dull rita romantically with west  despite the movies  hip  attitude toward the black thing   west automatically shoots anyone who calls him a  nigger  before that person can finish speaking the word  super   at any rate  i kept waiting for rita to say something humourous  but shes a walking dressup toy   her single comic moment is also the best shot of the film  she bashfully reveals bare bumcheeks through the peekaboo flap of her pyjamas   jim west is the role that finally stymied will smith  whose comic timing has always been hit or miss  as episodes of  the fresh prince of belair  demonstrate  smiths a better reactor than actor  which is why he was so thoroughly engaging in men in blackhe didnt start out a hero  in wild wild west hes required to exude eastwood cool and amuse at the same time  and from frame one   a difficult feat im not sure any living performer could pull off  smith is ill equipped  for example  to handle the moment in which jim west performs standup for some rednecks at his own hanging  what attracted sonnenfeld to this material  this isnt the first time he has adapted a tv show for the big screen  the addams family  anyone    but its the first big stinker of his career as a director  wild wild west is poorlypaced bombast  full of doa gags  ted levine shows up as a general who uses a gramophone horn for a hearing aid  levine played buffalo bill in the silence of the lambshes too intense to get an intentional laugh   lousy special effects  the bluescreening is amateurishforegrounds are never proportionate to the backgrounds   and frequent illogic   to wit  its ridiculous villain so badly wants jim west out of the way that he    drops him onto a steel platform to do battle with some generic  ugly henchmen  instead of shooting him at point blank rage with one of the many guns on board the tarantula   wild wild wests bright spots  such as the cool opening credits sequence  bai lings alltoobrief appearance as a femme fatale  or the brilliant  his masters voice  joke  are all part of the films first half  which is more clever and enjoyable  at least  than its second  when  towards what seemed like the end of wild wild west  gordon proposes the idea of building an airplane and west rejects it  there was a collective groan among audience members  it meant we were going to have to sit through another loud action sequence before gordon builds the glider  the invention of which would inevitably lead to the proverbial whizbang finale  
neg	if you have ever seen fox tvs special car chase programs  youll have a good idea about the content of ronin  the new action  thriller  from director john frankenheimer  the film involves a mysterious briefcase  that several groups of terrorist want to get their hands on  an irish women  dierdre  played by the truman shows natascha mcelhone   hires a group of mercenaries to assist her in getting the briefcase  among the people she hires are sam  robert de niro   vincent  jean reno   and gregor  stellan skarsg  rd from good will hunting   dierdres groups assignment is too seize the briefcase while the current owners are transporting it  they accomplish this task  but a traitor is in the bunch and the briefcase is soon on the run again  the briefcase stays on the run  as the movie leads the viewer through several plot twists that are badly executed  the writer seemed to be attempting to make a smart action movie  but failed to understand that just because there are surprises  it doesnt add too the credibility of a senseless script  the plot twists get no reaction because they come at a time where no one cares what is going on  after the apparent climax of the film  but to add to the excitement  as i mentioned earlier  there are endless car chase scenes  they are unrealistic and fail to add anything to the story  dont get me wrong  i love car chases  but they were overdone and too long here  we never do find out whats in the briefcase  but i doubt anyone cares by the time they finish sitting through this two hour long attempted thriller  
neg	the happy bastards quick movie review wild wild west a better name for this movie mightve been  wild wild waste   warner bros   in an attempt to get their own men in black style of movie  had managed to lasso in some big names  actor will smith and director barry sonnenfeld  the duo behind mibs success  in order to get their own fourth of july blockbuster  a contemporary bigscreen update to the classic westernscifi series the wild wild west starring robert conrad  but somehow  they ran into a problem along the way  they were so busy trying to fill specific roles that they forgot one in general that wouldve made all the difference a story writer  wild wild wests story and script was compiled by six different people  rather than just the one who put the brilliant touches on men in black  ed solomon  if warner bros  had gotten him  the movie wouldve possibly been five times better than what it is  heck  ten times  as is  however  the story and screenplay is a mess  filled with dead laughs  enough racist and sex jokes to make even will cringe as hes performing them  and a complete lack of chemistry that made the tv show work so well  heres the story  us army member james west  will smith  teams up with creative genius artemus gordon  kevin kline  to take on a ruthless villain by the name of arliss loveless  kenneth branagh   whose lower half was blown off during the civil war  leaving him to roll around in a steamcontrolled wheelchair  they catch onto a plot of his involving a superweapon that can basically be considered an 80foot tarantula  although it looks bigger than that   hellbent on destroying anything in its path  as i said  the way the script unfolds is a complete mess  but the acting doesnt help either  kevin kline is miserable as gordon  failing to display even a smidgeon of care as he did in the 1985 western silverado  smith seems to be having a better time as west  although hes not nearly as charming as he was in mib  branagh goes excessively over the top as the villain  perhaps to the point where we cant even stand to look at him or his strange beard  and salma hayek is along for the ride to search for her missing father  but mostly she exists just for sexual attention  her acting is barely passable  but what a  breath of fresh ass   director barry sonnenfeld isnt of great help either  even though he shows some good creativity at some points  his overall urgency for directing is lost  its as if he feels hes directing a tv movie  a big nono when youre helming whats supposed to be a bigscreen hit  last but not least  there are huge gaps of logic that are just plain unacceptable  at one point  smith defies gravity when first boarding klines train  he jumps on the back  gets launched straight up in the air  and somehow manages to land three cars ahead on the train while its still in motion  also  he seems to be strangely comfortable talking about racism in front of a lynch mob  particularly considering the fact that his family was killed by the likes of such folks  last but not least  why is he still making kissing faces when he knows hes not kissing a woman as hes looking through a peephole at the enemy   the only saving grace for wild wild west come mostly in the form of special effects  the huge mechanical spider is a technical marvel  very authentic looking and considerable to the creativity of the show  theres also a good sequence involving metal magnet neckbraces and spinning saw blades  but  again  a logic question comes into play regarding their polarity  i would say sit back and have a good time with wild wild west  but it really isnt possible  if the racist and sex jokes dont bother you  the performances will  if the performances dont bother you  the story will  if the story doesnt bother you  the racist and sex jokes will  theres no end to the vicious circle  go rent men in black instead and pretend smith and tommy lee jones are wearing cowboy hats  youll have a better time  if you do go  keep an eye out for robert conrad in a role as president grant  i bet he wishes he were somewhere else    
neg	old soldiers never die  they just turn into cliches soldier a film review by michael redman copyright 1998 by michael redman the warrior and the lover are two personality aspects that find it difficult to exist in the same body  jungian archetypes  these two opposites need each other to create a whole  but its difficult to integrate both  often well encounter lovers who think everything is just wonderful and  with the help of jungs magician  sit around imagining grand schemes  without the drive to manifest their plans  much less the wisdom to recognize the darkness  all they have are dreams  warriors on the other hand  are ready to go to war at the drop of a hat  and will do combat with every last bit of their energy  they dont care enough about anything to know whats worth fighting for  gladiators who live only for the battle  this dichotomy not only describes individuals that we all know  but can also illustrate societies  america during the late sixties was a conflict between old style cold warriors and the new hippie lovers  todd 3465  kurt russell  is a living  breathing archetype  chosen from birth as a soldier  he is raised by the government to be a killing machine  his childhood is cruelty and competition  he is indoctrinated with the big rules  never question authority  winning is everything  strength beats knowledge  a veteran of numerous intergalactic wars  todd is 40 and hes obsolete  a new generation of genetically engineered soldiers are faster and stronger  left for dead after a test battle with the best of the new killers  caine 607  jason scott lee   hes unceremoniously dumped as trash on arcadia 234  a garbage world  obviously our hero is still alive  he finds a group of shipwrecked settlers abandoned on the planet who nurse him back to health  when the peaceloving colonists get a good look at who todd is  they are afraid of him and he is exiled to live by himself amid the junk on an environmentally hostile world  they are the other good guys  these lovers find that they need a warrior when the military coincidentally chooses this world to conduct exercises for their improved human weapons  todd finds himself in the role of protector  what could have been a fascinating look at the roles played in our culture and the fears of an ultraright wing future is ruined by turning the film into a cartoon  the effects are mostly secondrate explosions or jerky slow motion  the plot is old hat  we dont get even a glimpse at the society that created the soldiers  hardly anything makes sense  the films science fares badly  with all the remarkable advances weve made in just 37 years  the film takes place in 2036   were still stupid  after conquering the stars  for some reason we use vast amounts of energy to load up huge space ships with rubbish tote it to a landfill light years away  even stranger  the garbage barges appear to double as time machines  virtually all the trash is vintage 1960  there is nothing in the story that is not predictable  the first thing that todd sees after coming back to life is sandra  connie nielsen   the woman just a little too beautiful to be living in such harsh conditions who is taking care of him  it doesnt take a genius to foresee that her husband isnt going to be around much longer  is it a shock to find out that the films climax is an unarmed battle between todd and caine  who would you guess wins  some of the scenes would work if this were a comedy  todds first awakening of human emotion comes when he glimpses connies nipple poking through her thin blouse  later as he sits by his lonely campfire  a tear rolls down his dramatically lighted cheek in slow motion  supposedly this clich  isnt meant to be humorous  dastardly col  mekum  jason isaacs  with a pencilthin mustache is as real as snidley whiplash  responsible for last years quirky and visually enticing but problematic  the fifth element   director paul anderson sees the film as  shane  in outer space  maybe  if shane were played by sylvester stallone in rambo mode  the movie doesnt even work as an action film  there is never a question as to the outcome  somehow the new superior soldiers dont prove much of a match for todd  the acting isnt anything to write home about  nielsen almost comes across as a real person but is soon relegated to a background victim  russell is buffedup and does a credible job but its not much of a challenge  uttering around 100 words during the film  mostly what todd does is hit things and stare grimly into space  gary busey as todds commanding officer is completely wasted in his lowkey role  everything blows up and occasionally it looks cool  sometimes the sets are impressive  unfortunately  occasionally  and  sometimes  dont make a film  most disappointing is that the screenplay is by david webb peoples who wrote  blade runner   possibly the best science fiction movie ever made  sharpeyed viewers will notice a few obscure references to that film  peoples says that this is not a  blade runner  sequel  but a  sidequel  that takes place in the same universe  although that may have been the intent in his original script  the result is more like a bad television series that the  blade runner  replicants watch to pass time  perhaps those artificial humans would find this entertaining   michael redman has written this column for over 23 years and wants to wish everyone an appropriate halloween    whatever youd like it to be   
neg	 what is this  a homicide or a bad bmovie   that is the prophetic question asked by one of the leads in one of the early scenes of this movie  let me clear things up for you cupcake  this isnt a bad bmovie  its a really bad bmovie  so bad  its almost good  almost  but not quite  the movie starts off in the 1950s with space aliens sending a botched experiment down to earth  it is a bunch of sluglike creatures that kill people and take over their bodies  the slugs first and only victim in the fifties is cryogenically frozen where he is of no danger to anybody  that is  until two loser university students unfreeze him in 1986  he  and the slugs inside him  promptly begin wreaking havoc and turning more coeds into slug zombies  a slightly crazed cop  tom atkins  and the requisite girl with the face of an angel  jill whitlow  join these two geeky university students  jason lively and steve marshall  to do battle with the slugs  it more or less falls on the four of them to make the world safe again from the evil slugs  the acting is bad with a capital b  the story is worse  and the special effects are somewhere between an old rerun of star trek and what you see in a home movie  the only saving grace was the requisite titshot courtesy of jill whitlow  it had absolutely nothing to do with the story  but i liked it  actually  it was the high point of the movie for me  of course  that isnt really saying much  the story moves around in a hap hazard fashion  which gives it a leg up on some other horror films  unlike most movies of this genre  there actually is a story  not a great one  but it is there  this is one in a long line of movies from the 1980s that were thrown together to capitalize off the success of the friday the 13th  halloween and nightmare on elm street movies  you could randomly select a movie out of the horror section of you local video store and probably luck into something just as good if not better  but night of the creeps might make a nice addition to a bmovie horror marathon  just dont be too upset if you cant find it  you really wont be missing that much  
neg	theres a scene early on in  jawbreaker  where a character utters the unintentionally prophetic line   that is  so  not funny   how right she was  this pathetic tale of three highschoolers who accidentally kill their best friend in a birthday kidnapping prank gone horribly awry is never even remotely funny  or fun  or original  not content with the tooobvious  heathers  heisting  the filmmakers proceed to lift freely from a staggering variety of sources  including  carrie    bride of frankenstein    blue velvet   and even shaws pygmalion  itself recently remade as  shes all that    jawbreaker  is a pastiche  and not even an enjoyable one  i find it extremely telling that the most engaging part of the film is the credit sequence  a jawbreaker factory montage inexplicably backed by veruca salts  volcano girls   serving as a blueprint for the rest of the film  the song has absolutely nothing to do with the footage were watching  just close your eyes and pretend youre listening to an altrock station  you wont be missing anything  the blame for a mess this big has to be spread around among the principals  rebecca gayheart  following roles in  scream 2  and  urban legend   should have known better than to take yet another role in yet another teen body count movie  pam grier has totally wasted any credibility she might have gotten from her role in quentin tarantinos  jackie brown   and rose mcgowan should just quit acting  she has no charisma  no presence  and no acting skills other than rolling her eyes and looking disaffected  mcgowan manages to be upstaged by her reallife boyfriend  rocker marilyn manson  whose fifteen second role here is far more interesting than anything any of the  real  actors are doing  manson  sans trademark makeup  contact lenses  and with an obviously fake moustache  looks eerily like nicholas cage  who woulda thunk it  that crack about direction by committee wasnt merely a pithy soundbite  stylistically  thematically  narratively   jawbreaker  is all over the map  varying wildly in tone  content from scene to scene  though credited solely to writerdirector darren stein  one gets the feeling that no two scenes here were actually guided by the same hands  if stein was indeed responsible for the whole of this atrocity  someone needs to get the man some drugs  pronto  prozac  lithium  kava  ritalin  something  anything  hes quite obviously in desperate need of chemical help   jawbreaker  is a monumental waste of effort and resources  and quite likely one of the single worst films ive ever seen  to call  jawbreaker  garbage would be to insult garbage  bad flicks for the rest of the year are safe  ive already got my pick for worst film of 99   jawbreaker  runs approximately 90 minutes  though it feels longer than  titanic   and is rated r for language  sexual situations and graphic violence  not recommended for kids  teens  or anyone else  
neg	can you say  dated   you can if youve seen rosemarys baby which  like the exorcist  was a thrilling horror film in its time but seems boring and laughable in the decades that have passed since its original release   mystery science theater 3000  has skewered the bad films of the past  but let me tell you  it could do a number on the  good  ones too  rosemarys baby stars mia farrow  from the time she was actually goodlooking  as an innocent housewife and her notsoinnocent husband  john cassavettes   an actor who takes an easy  albeit evil  road to success  it all seems so harmless in the beginning  mia and john move into an apartment where several past murders have been committed   theres also a skull in the living room  but its only for decoration   their elderly neighbors pop in for a housewarming  alls well for about the first hour of this slowmoving film  until mia eats some of the neighbors chocolate mousse and passes out  when she comes to  she finds herself in a darkened room with a bunch of people yelling and dancing like savages and a big  evil man raping her  a foreshadowing of her future life with woody allen  it seems like a dream and  when she finds herself pregnant  she almost forgets about it  and everyones helping with the pregnancy  the neighbors have some wonderful vitamin potions for her to drink  a goodluck charm for her to wear around her neck  and the name of an obstetrician whos been in the business 66  6 years  meanwhile  mia begins having chronic stomach pains and losing a lot of weight  before too long she looks just like the lead singer of the cranberries  thats when you know your healths failing  the only person in the movie whos the least bit suspicious of all this is an old friend  maurice evans  who calls mia up to give her the bad news  and immediately falls into a coma  by about the twohour mark i felt the same way  rosemarys baby is way too long  and leads up to a payoff thats about as boring and laughable as the rest of the movie  i guess someone put a spell on this movie  
neg	 the 44 caliber killer has struck again   starring john leguizamo  mira sorvino  adrian brody  jennifer esposito  michael rispoli  bebe neuwirth  rated r  summer of sam will be remembered as a waste of spike lees abilities  lee is a great filmmaker  often exhibiting kinetic visual flair on par with brian depalma and martin scorsese and a storytelling ability comparable to steven spielberg  but here  he gets himself into a bind  his latest effort is a case of a director pretending he has something to say when in reality there is little of substance to absorb from his work  the summer of 1977 was an unusual summer in new york city  it was the hottest summer on record  to boot  new yorks first serial killer was on the loose  calling himself the son of sam  david berkowitz killed 9 people in the new york area and frightened the whole city population  so it was understandable that when nyc was hit with a citywide blackout  people went berserk  causing billions of dollars in damage to the city  the movies focus is on a group of twentysomethings during that fateful summer  vinny  john leguizamo   a clubhopping  adultrous hairdresser  his benevolent wife dionna  mira sorvino  looking young   ritchie  adrian brody   a punk who becomes an outcast as well as a son of sam suspect  a gang of small time mobsters and a few more minor characters  we follow them through their roller coaster lives  thrown out of whack even more by the recent killings  vinny and dionna have marital problems because vinny cheats and dionna tries to please him  make him stay faithful to her  ritchie gets shunned by his group of friends because he has started to become more and more  eccentric   and has degenerated to the point of dancing in gay night clubs and making porno films with his girlfriend  tensions build and conflicts arise as the anniversary night of son of sams first murder looms  the night he promises he will strike again  a local gang with too much time on its hands makes a list detailing all of the people that its members think might be suspects  at the top of the list is ritchie  vinny  an unwilling part of the said group  is called upon to set a trap for his friend  as we watch these proceedings  some of which are painfully graphic  the dreaded  so what   question springs to mind  from the way this movie is made  id have guessed that spike lee was trying to tell us something  but as i searched deeper it became clear that there is very little there to find  lee touches on so much  the media  the 70s punk scene  the details of the actual killings  as well as the characters very personal dilemmas  but he doesnt bring all of his topics together to form a coherent theme or make a discernible statement  all is not lost if a movie turns out to be hollow  it can be a saving grace for the film to be enjoyable  too bad summer of sam doesnt get any help here  frankly  its a bore  a redundant and repetitive two hour and twenty minute film that doesnt entertain beyond its first half hour  there is no suspense because the film refuses to be fully about the murders and little involving drama because the film is too muddled and its focus too vague  leguizamos turn as vinnie is annoying and whiny  the script makes it clear that were supposed to believe that his character is flawed  but still a good guy  youd never guess from his performance  adrian brody and especially mira sorvino fare better  sorvino gives a riveting  touching performance in a banal movie  im tempted to think that i liked her because nearly everything else around her was inane   her character is affecting and her emotions truetoheart  brody  too paints an effective portrait of a young guy desperate for attention who gets a little more than he bargained for  summer of sam has some superficial elements of a good film  it looks great  it has a few notable performances and i suppose its pretty well directed  in a purely technical way  but its also empty  pretentious and boring  like last years the thin red line  its a movie by a director who doesnt know what he wants to say but goes ahead and says it anyway   1999 eugene novikov137  
neg	wow  a film without any redeeming qualities whatsoever  im amazed that someone thought this was a story that must be told on screen  many blacks in hollywood complain that they are not nominated for awards based on their race  i think first they need to concentrate their energy on themselves  and stop making movies which makes them look like nothing more than sexcrazed buffoons  even im offended by it  bill bellamy is a  player  which means he sleeps with a lot of women and lies to them  what a pleasant main character  one day  his friends decide that they want to find out how to be a player  why they decide this  one day  i have no idea  how many years have they been friends and why all of a sudden would they want to learn  anyway  bellamy agrees to teach  and his wonderful lesson to his friends consists of letting them ride in his car while he rides from house to house having sex with women  this is the bulk of the film folks  guys riding from house to house  one keeps getting out to have sex  while the others sit in the car  since russell simmons is producer  and since the official title of the film is  def jams how to be a player   i was ready to be jumping up and down and stomping my feet and beating the person next to me because of the comedy  amazingly  aside from gilbert gottfrieds 90 seconds of screen time  there was no comedy in the film for me to express myself in such a manner  instead of jokes  theres just an endless stream of profanity and naked breasts  and naked breasts arent so bad  but naked breasts alone dont make a good movie   be sure to bring along your ebonics to english dictionary as well  gilbert gottfrieds character serves as one in his very brief appearance  asking for explanations as to what is being said  they should have brought him along for the entire film  r 
neg	bob the happy bastards quickie review  the odd couple ii grumpy old men  it aint  hell  my fellow americans  it aint  walter matthau and jack lemmon team up again for an even more worn out vehicle than any of their films over the past few years  odd couple ii feels terribly generic  where in the first movie  made thirty one years ago  feels like a wonderful tale  thats like repackaging campbells soup in a generic food can  really  how writer neil simon couldve made such a horrible mistake in screen writing is beyond me  throughout the movie  i really didnt laugh once  honestly  i mean  there were dumb situations  yeah  like the cropduster who let these old geezers have it without any notice  but they just really didnt seem funny to me  and that car rolling off the cliff  the only way i wouldve seen humor in that is if they were still in it  and the ending gets all supermushy  too  in the final twenty minutes or so  lemmon meets a girl he thinks is the one  then loses her  matthau talks to his son  a wasted jonathan silverman  about his amrriage to lemmons daughter  and  of course  lemmon and matthau have another roomie situation on their hands  ooh  i really gave a lot away there  im sure  consider it a hospitable gester  you wont waste your time renting this muck  
neg	the summer of 00 wasnt a very good one for devout cinephiles  it offered no blair witches or sixth senses  the best big budget hollywood could do was an efficient xmen adaptation and a flawed but entertaining shaft update  nurse betty signals the unofficial end of that dreadful summer movie season and the commencement of a potentially brighter fall movie season  that batterycharging  at least for critics who have to sit through every piece o shit that moseys into multiplexes  time of year when all those oscar contenders  read   quality  films  compete for audiences  alas betty has the dubious distinction of being the first overpraised junk heap of the new season  its also indie director neil labutes first attempt at something resembling a mainstream picture  and im sad to report its a resounding failure  at least on this web site   a mess thats as hopelessly saccharine as people have accused labutes previous films of being unrelentingly masochistic  i went in expecting something decent  for betty was gleefully praised  its screenplay even winning an award at cannes  but i exited shaking my noggin in bewilderment  are critics so desperate for something unique that theyre blind to how derivative the particular brand of  uniqueness  betty dolls out is  for the first time labute is working from a script he has not written  and he seems unsure of how to handle the material  betty tries to be hip like pulp fiction  this is another flick featuring a pair of strangely bright and articulate hit men   enchanting like the wizard of oz  of which this film makes several allusions to  and heartwarming like stick in your favorite loveable misfit movie  but by the end it left me cold with its calculated desperation  its labutes half hearted attempt to make a crowd pleaser and he doesnt even seem to have half that heart in it  nurse betty concerns a soap opera addict  betty  brilliantly played by renee zellweger   who witnesses the killing of her husband  del  aaron eckhart playing the most casually loutish husband since richard benjamin in diary of a mad housewife  by two hit men  morgan freeman and chris rock   she happens to have her most beloved soap on in the background and somehow merges the two realities  shes blocked out her husbands death and thinks shes a character in her favorite soap  a reason to love  betty sets out on the road to la  with some drugs unknowingly stashed in her car trunk  searching for her soap boyfriend dr  david ravell  greg kinnear  while the two bickering hit men follow in not so close pursuit  the labute who birthed the extraordinary in the company of men  slipped a bit  but not much  with his sophomore effort  your friends and neighbors  then fell straight on his ass with bash  a play he penned that was recently aired on showtime  the play demonstrated no forward movement as an artist  only labutes persistence in wallowing in the horrid things  average  people do to each other  usually with out realizing how horrid they themselves are  in the play  paul rudd  as an obnoxious jock  delivers a monologue detailing how he once followed a gay man into a bathroom and beat him maybe to death  while his clueless girlfriend essentially regards his sadistic behaviors as something along the old maxim  boys will be boys   another character  schlubby businessman reacts to the loss of his job by actually killing his own baby  what was once so powerful about labutes work  the casual  nonchalant cruelty and selfishness  often elements we all have in us amplified to a disgusting degree  had become so over the top it was borderline comic  obviously  at this point  labute could use a dose of some different kind of material before he pigeon holes himself further  but nurse betty isnt it  he clearly has little passion for what hes doing here  instead replacing his mojo with strained quirks  one of the hit men is a huge soap fan  and the character of betty would be little more than a one joke gimmick if zelllweger hadnt managed to transcend that  tailor made to appeal to the widest possible audience  nearly every scene between chris rock and morgan freeman fatally slows the picture down  as the two are made to enact softboiled tarantinoesque dialogue  they evince little chemistry  with rock constantly in over the top rant mode  acting more like an angry comic than any thing resembling a hit man  an occupation thats represented far too frequently in movies nowadays   i think rock is a great comic yet he hasnt been able to bring his feral intelligence to movies  whenever he acts  and no matter the part  its like hes doing the damn chris rock show  surprisingly  at least considering her work in me  myself and irene  renee zellweger gives a revelatory performance  building on her baby faced  apple pie looks  that wideopen face and helium voiced earnestness suggests a little girl not fully grown into her thirtyyearold body  its the best work shes ever done  freeman is effective as always  though his performance nonetheless suffers because it seems at odds with where the movie wants to take it  the actor plays the role in his usual calm  collected manner  though the flick tries to insinuate a symbolic kinship between his character and bettys  suggesting that both are controlled by their fantasies rather than reality  thats interesting but the movie doesnt do anything with it other than crash land the subtheme into a labored speech in the midst of a badly staged gun battle  the film has good moments  many of the scenes involving a very good greg kinnear  especially his confrontation with zellweger   an almost soothing  lyrical score  and you know a movies in trouble when the score sticks out as one of the best things about it  but nothing jells  its parts  good or bad  are so disparate as to be opposing  the film might have worked had it settled on being one type of film  a mainstream  female forrest gump or an oddball art film  but as both if it falls as flat as diet coke  bettys screenplay makes the mistake of relying too much on concurrence  without which betty wouldnt make any progress in the film  nurse betty is a film driven by coincidence rather than charter  like how betty becomes a nurse in the film  a job that she takes in order to get closer to her imaginary lover  she happens to be at the hospital at the exact moment that a drive by shooting takes place and miraculously knows how to take care of the victims wound because she happened to see how on tv  which leads to her being offered a room with the victims girlfriend who eventually gets betty into a party where she meets kinnear    a little too tidy  dontcha think  betty has an interesting theme  though it doesnt even seem aware of this  the current state of tv has been leaning towards reality television what with the enormous success of survivor and moderate success of big brother  with more on the way  this is a film about a women so deluded as to think that her favorite soap opera is reality  ironically reallife survivor sean kennif has taken a part as a doctor on the soap opera guiding light   instead of exploring this timely matter in a way relating to the current tv craze  since the film does largely appear to be a satire of television  albeit one that would feel more appropriate in the 80s than the 00s   the film simply uses bettys delusions as a plot device to get her from point a to b  no progress is made and little is unearthed except that maybe labute could use a bit of rest and a lot of contemplation  
neg	what do you get when you ripoff good movies like woody allens bananas and martin scorseses after hours  youd think youd get the best of both films  instead you get woo  falling in somewhere between def jams how to be a player  which was awful  and booty call  which was ok   woo is yet another in the embarassing genre of showing africanamericans to be nothing more than sexual buffoons  the whole film plays out as a black version of after hours  as wild woman woo  jada pinkett smith  goes out on a blind date with straightlaced tim  tommy davidson   mayhem follows them  for some unknown reason  read  contrived screenplay  davidson puts up with all of woos antics for the entire night  which include her destroying his bathroom mirror  stealing things from his house  violently questioning him  accusing and belittling him actually  about previous girlfriends  causing a riot in an elegant restaurant  and other various infuriating things that any normal person wouldnt tolerate  but for the sake of this bad movie  sure  why not  there are a few chuckles in the film  the best being the scene swiped directly from bananas  in this case  davidson is running from thugs  gets into a subway car as the doors are closing  starts to taunt the thugs  then the doors open back up again  a good joke  but a stolen one  another chuckle is provided by billy dee williams cameo as himself  movies like woo are seemingly released every three months or so  and not one of them has ever been a hit  woo wont be one either  so why was it made  and more importantly  isnt there anyone else besides me who thinks these films are offensive  everyone involved should really reconsider their careers at this point  r 
neg	wild things is a way to steam up an otherwise dreary early spring day  provided  of course  that youre the victim of a frontal lobotomy  there is  in fact  no doubt about who this motion picture is aimed at  moviegoers in their late teens and early twenties  the most lucrative target group  this is film noir for the mtv generation  fastpaced  slick  flashy  gleefully mindless  and hollow to the core  wild things is easily one of the five dumbest movies to arrive in theaters during the first eleven weeks of 1998  ive seen more convincing drama  with nearly as much bare flesh  on that pinnacle of narrative quality  baywatch  wild things wants to dupe viewers into thinking its a thriller with a real story  what it is  however  is a series of increasingly improbable and shockingly predictable plot twists  everything in between those serpentine moments is filler  a flash of a breast  a spatter of blood  and some of the most idiotic dialogue this side of a steven seagal movie  the film tries so hard to surprise its audience that the twists end up being easy to guess  just take a stab at the most unlikely thing to happen  and that will probably be it  using this approach  i was right three times and wrong only once  thats not a good average for a production that wants to keep viewers in the dark about whats around the next corner  the ad campaign uses two things to sell this movie  the hot  young cast and the old standby  sex  both have an abundance of screen time  although ill admit that the films erotic content is somewhat less impressive than i expected  nothing about wild things is exceptionally risqu   the softcore sex sequences are generic  and dont generate much heat  the lesbian kisses cant hold a candle to those in bound  theresa russell and denise richards have only token topless appearances  neve campbell  possessing an ironclad  no nudity  clause in her contract  keeps her clothes more or less on   the films greatest curiosity is a full frontal shot of kevin bacon climbing out of the shower  maybe a few girls will skip seeing a fullyclothed leonardo dicaprio for the thirteenth time in titanic to catch a glimpse of what kyra sedgwick  mrs  kevin bacon  is familiar with  the director of wild things is john mcnaughton  whose last effort was the finelytuned psychological thriller  normal life  that movie featured copious sex  a pair of real characters  and a powerful script  its difficult to believe that something this shallow could come from the same film maker  but i suppose we all need to put food on the table  mcnaughton appears to have completely lost his way here  in what is obviously a stab at mainstream success  his previous widerelease picture  mad dog and glory  was a boxoffice disappointment   quick cuts and pretty sunrises cant even begin to cover up this movies flaws  the main character  and i use that term lightly  since no one in wild things shows more than an occasional flash of personality  is sam lombardo  matt dillon   a guidance counselor at floridas blue bay high school  a student  the deliciously curvaceous kelly van ryan  denise richards   has a crush on him  one afternoon  she comes to his house to wash his car  and  when she leaves  her clothing is torn  after confessing to her mother  theresa russell  that she was raped  she goes to the police station  where she tells her story to detectives ray duquette  kevin bacon  and gloria perez  daphne rubinvega   they are skeptical about here claims until another girl  suzie toller  neve campbell   comes forward with a similar tale  meanwhile  sam  convinced that hes being set up  goes to a shyster lawyer  bill murray  for help  the acting in wild things isnt very good  but none of the principals have much to work with  this is definitely not a character based motion picture  not only does the ludicrous screenplay ignore the possibility that someone in the audience may have a tripledigit i  q   but it doesnt bother to give any of the onscreen individuals even a hint of depth  the men and women populating the picture are there to look nice  but nothing more  matt dillon is given plenty of opportunities to flex his biceps  neve campbell gets to model the slutty look  denise richards strikes a fetching pose in a seethrough  onepiece bathing suit  and nothing in the film gets a rise out of kevin bacon  the only one whos even remotely interesting is bill murray  and he seems to think hes in comedy  not a thriller  maybe hes got the right idea   columbia pictures has specifically requested that critics not reveal the films ending  which prompts the question  which ending do they want kept secret  wild things has no less than three  one occurs during the end credits  so stay seated   all of which are jawdroppingly absurd  a feat that joe eszterhas  the writer of basic instinct and showgirls  would be impressed by  thanks to jeffrey kimballs polished  kinetic cinematography  wild things always looks great  and george s  clintons score keeps it pulsing and throbbing  but  no matter how shiny the superficial sheen is  this is still trash  and  like all garbage  it stinks  
neg	like a good action film should   metro  has action that keeps you involved  some action films have action sequences that are so conventional  our attention is detracted and diverted by other thoughts   the ghost in the darkness   which opened a few months ago  is a film that s action was so bland and uninvolving  it not only invited my thoughts to divert me  it nearly put me asleep  but  metro  is one of the best action films in a while  it is hip  sharp  nifty  and has nice little pieces of suspense and comedy  eddie murphy was in bad shape for a while  and this invites me to mention last year s  the nutty professor   which was his blessed revival back to the position at which he used to be   metro  happens to be a lot better than any film in the  beverly hills cop  series  that is because  metro  takes itself seriously  but doesn t prevent itself from having a little fun  eddie murphy is at his best in the roles of responsible  and controlled people  the  beverly hills cop  movies all featured eddie as a reckless  wild cop  always crossing the line by just an inch  in  metro  he plays a hostage negotiator  so negotiation is his job  not his hobby or his preferred way out of trouble  his character in  metro  takes himself seriously  eddie murphy s mischievous trademark grin is hardly anywhere to be found in  metro   and perhaps it is quite better off that way  murphy plays scott roper  and as i previously mentioned  he is a san francisco hostage negotiator  in the first tense situation in the film  we are introduced to roper s kind of work  as he tries to calm down a confused  unkempt young criminal who has taken captive the entire capacity of the san francisco bank he is holding up  murphy handles the scene seriously  without his usual happygolucky  misfit humor  the film develops when its villain is established  and the villain here is the beguiling michael korda  a jewel thief  and murderer who likes to let cops know of his hostage fatalities by giving them the ear of the victim   metro  takes different twists and slight turns  and there is one great  virtuoso chase scene  involving the a cable car  cars flip  cars crash  cars turn over  and it is done so good in this film  i was reminded of  speed   and the speeding bus that couldn t go under fifty mile per hour for very significant reasons  there are also some other good scenes in  metro  that a lot of films would rather choose not to have  scenes like the one with roper and his new partner are at the horse track roper is a gambler who knows all the tricks and roper teaches his partner a few little methods of betting and winning  of course  the writers tried to disguise the scene as being insignificant by having roper draw parallels between hostage negotiation and gambling  the scenes between roper and his girlfriend are nice  too  those are the scenes that make up  metro   which is mainly about eddie murphy s maturing as a personality  the actor that i most enjoyed seeing in  metro  was michael rapaport  who plays roper s new partner  a lipreading  bookskimming genius  and a master of observation  it was not the actor s presence that pleased me as much as the role he was cast in the role of a proclaimed genius  rapaport is an actor who i usually see in the role of the dimwit the really  really dopey dimwit  i hardly recognized him in  metro   and it was quite a joy to be able to see him in a role like this i feel that i respect him more  there are two main types of villains in movies like this  the ones that are part of the story  and the ones that are devices  the villain in  metro  is no more than a device  but he is a darn good villain nonetheless  he is played by michael wincott  whose voice is pushed out in a abraded rasp  as if he smokes a cigarette between every take  wincott makes his villain  korda  as mean as could be  the classic type of villain who would push an old lady down a flight of stairs just for kicks  like richard widmark in  kiss of death   and  in addition  wincott s physical appearance and mannerisms  in the film  actually reminded my of an arrogant friend i use to have  who is no longer on my good list  i liked  metro   and i do not think would have worked with any other actor but eddie murphy  his past roles were the great ones but they were also a precursor to the maturing that would later take place  possibly from murphy s growing as a person  now having a family   metro  is a nononsense movie  it works as a buddy movie  which it does not overplay  it works as a dry comedy  which it does not overplay  it works as a suspense film  which it does not overplay  and it works as an action film  where it does have a tendency to occasionally go allout  but who cares  it still remains serious  and it does not overdo itself  oh  and there were plenty of explosions in  metro   as well  how nice it was of the filmmakers to give us those  if there is one major objection i had to  metro   it was the length  an area where a lot of action films seem to wear out their welcomes   metro  is a film that lasted a little too long  but it was still entertaining  and it gave me something to do while i waited for it to end  paul haynes   
neg	capsule  dumb dud of an entry in the body heat sweepstakes  and now something of a landmark for having spawned a jillion clones  basic instincts worst crime is that its not just a bad movie  but in many ways  an incompetent one as well  its stupid in itself  and stupid to think its audience is as stupid as it is  its supposed to be a thriller  but the plot is dead on its feet  and ultimately arbitrary  its only put into the movie to jerk us around  its also supposed to be sexy  but its instead got the unpleasant rawness of a teenager showing younger kids his collections of dirty pictures  its a ripoff  the story opens with a rock star being murdered while in the throes of orgasm  the biggest suspect is an authoress  catherine tramell  sharon stone   who wrote a novel in which the murder was eerily presaged  or maybe its the work of a copycat  these and other plot threads get fed to the detective whos on the case  michael douglas   who has a few problems himself  like we wonder if his elevator goes to the top floor  we can measure with a stopwatch the time from them setting eyes on each other to the moment they are doing the mattress dance  joe eszterhas has written the screenplay  and he uses a device that he used before in the much better jagged edge  the killers identity is kept a secret until the movies final shot  this isnt in itself a problem  the problem is that up until that point  weve been given nothing to work with  every clue in the movie  every clue  is ambiguous  the whole thriller aspect of the movie is a shill  red herrings  dead plot threads  violence  and kinky sexuality litter the movie like potholes in manhattan streets  they add up to zip  because theyre not happening to people we care about  douglass character is foulmouthed and bitter and thats it  stones character has an ironon smile that never changes  the rest are forgettable  when we dont even have the luxury of giving a damn about anyone in the movie  who cares what happens in it  especially with an ending that is not only unsatisfying  but in many ways inexplicable   a friend of mine once came up with a rule of thumb about movie characters   if no one in the movie behaves like anyone you know  or would  care  to know  just leave    one of the nastier things about the movie is the way it treats lesbianism not as an integral part of someones life  but as a kind of kink  something to thrill men with  i despair whenever i encounter this kind of stupidity in mainstream entertainment  are we still so culturally neanderthal that the only way to include something like that in a bigbudget hollywood film is as a hefnerism  
neg	capsule  gal is a 50sish london cockney gangster who has retired to spain  his old associates want him for one last job and send the vicious don to give him an offer he cant refuse  a standout performance by ben kingsley as don cannot save what is essentially a set of cliches recycled from old westerns   0  4 to 4  roger ebert asks in his review of sexy beast   who would have guessed that the most savage maddog frothing gangster in recent movies would be played by    ben kingsley   my response would be that anyone who has seen alan arkin in wait until dark  henry fonda in once upon a time in the west  or anthony hopkins in the silence of the lambs should have guessed it  they should know that the way for a film to create a really creepy sociopath is cast someone who generally plays mild  sympathetic  or even ineffectual character roles  the same characteristics that make an actor seem gentle in most of his roles can work in his favor when a role calls for him to be fierce and vicious  that is the principle that works for kingsley in sexy beast  gary  gal  dove  played by ray winstone  has retired from a london career of crime and is living on a luxurious villa in spain  life has become a routine of sunning himself and relaxing  but his paradise is about to be shattered by a onetwopunch  the first punch is a boulder that comes rolling down the hill next to the villa  the second punch comes from gals past  back in london gang boss teddy bass  ian mcshane  tvs lovejoy  is planning to break into a safety deposit room in a bank and he wants gal  he sends his most rabid henchman don logan  ben kingsley  to fetch gal  don will accept any decision gal makes from  yes  to  certainly   however  if gal says  no  don will do whatever it takes to turn it into a yes including threatening guys exporn star wife deedee  amanda redman   in the meantime don knows just how to get under everybodys skin  kingsley makes don a compact package of fury and nastiness  there are some serious problems in louis melliss and david scintos script that should have been caught before filming  when we see the actual crime we have no idea why gal was so important to its success  beyond an ability to use skindiving gear  no special talents are required of him  any local hood could have done what gal is needed for  additionally the crime involves digging from a swimming pool to the bank vault  flooding the vault  no only could they have let the water out of the pool and avoided the complication altogether  but there is by far too much water to be accounted for by what was in the pool  in spite of the provocative title  the story is cliched and overly familiar  i know i have seen all the plot elements of sexy beast in old westerns like the law and jake wade  the story is usually of the reformed outlaw  a robert taylor type  who has hung up his guns and is trying for a life of peaceful respectability  the old gang  however  wants to do one more job with their old buddy and sends a rabid richard widmark type to go and git  im  it is not a great plot  in sexy beast even the plot twists have gray beards  perhaps the film has a little more respectability because it was made not as a western but as a stylish british gangster film  it is an old plot dressed up to look new  if the plot is old  at least the style is creative  this is director jonathan glazers first film  but he has reputedly done some notable tv ads for guinness stout  his style does have some unexpected touches including some very odd dream sequences  cinematographer ivan bird uses a lot of half lit scenes  we see one side of a persons faces  but the other side fades into the darkness  a sort of metaphor for the halfworld these characters inhabit  half of everything that is happening is also kept hidden  we yanks will have a hard time with some of the dialog  at least in my theater it was difficult to make out the words with the quiet speaking  the heavy accents  and the cockney language  sexy beast is a very and familiar minor plot lent respectability in the us by being done in what is here a still somewhat novel genre  the london crime film  the plot may be new to british crime films  but it would be overly familiar as a western  further respectability comes from ben kingsleys highpowered performance  i give it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	synopsis  backup quarterback moxxon becomes starting quarterback midway through his senior year of high school  even though hed rather read  slaughterhouse five  than the playbook  evil football coach kilmer throws away moxxons book  though  while the evil team physician injects painkillers into the players  in the meantime  moxxons kid brother forms a cult  and a bubblegumblond cheerleader smears whip cream on herself to seduce the new star quarterback  comments  since i usually review horror and science fiction films  i feel a little out of my league discussing this teen football movie   pun intended  thank you   varsity blues was produced by mtv  and it really shows  several extended scenes allow for a continual soundtrack of mediocre pop songs meant to appeal to the adolescent male audience this crap was intended for  the teenagers all have reasons for their melodramatic angst  the adults all have problems  of course  and  as onedimensional characters  they are all fanatically obssessed with how their local high school football team performs  yes  this movie represents high school life in mtvland  this is a land where your health teacher is also a parttime stripper  your ice cream store attendant girlfriend wears an egyptian ankh around her neck  your kid brother forms a  cute  cult  your football coach is an uncaring  obssessive madman  and your friends lives consist of nothing but getting laid and driving around in cop cars naked  all you  as the main character  want to do  however  is read  slaughterhouse five  and attend brown university in the fall  well  at least this is a little more realistic than mtvs  the real world   varsity blues stars james van der beek  this weeks teen tv star making the leap to the big screen  he plays the hick moxxon adequately  though some of his emotional dialogue will make people chuckle    you dawnt own mah life   who would want to   jon voight  the stock evil guy in countless other movies  is  surprise  the stock evil guy here  but is he really evil  or is he a product of society  after all  everybody  young and old  in this movie has no life whatsoever and do nothing but obssess over high school football  maybe the pressures of the 90 screaming fans at the football field drove evil coach kilmer evil  the films screenplay never answers this burning question  at times  iliffs story does show glimmers of touching or humorous scenes  but  before the audience gets their hopes up that there might be something redeeming in this movie  they get trashed with another lengthy party sequence or overwrought football game  the movies pacing is slow  and the plot turns are mindnumbingly obvious from start to finish  i suppose im being a little hard on varsity blues  maybe im just a little miffed that i had to pay 3 bucks to see it  even though it was dollar night at the cinema  something about a request from the studio made the theater charge more money  i found the film oftentimes ludicrous and boring  three guys in front of us smuggled beer into the the theater  i wished i had thought of that  alcohol  lots of it  may have helped the viewing experience  
neg	susan grangers review of  american outlaws   warner bros   thomas edisons  the great train robbery   1903  was the first western ever made and  jesse james under the black flag   1923  first introduced the outlaw folk hero  now  more than 20 similarlythemed pictures later  jesse james and his notorious gang of outlaws ride again in a banal mtv spin on an american legend  the story begins as jesse  charasmatic colin farrell  and his brother frank  gabriel macht   cole and scott younger  scott caan  will mccormack  and trusty comanche tom  nathaniel arcand   after four years of fighting for the rebs in the civil war  return to liberty  missouri  only to discover union troops are occupying their hometown  and an avaricious east coast railroad baron  thaddeus rains  harris yulin   is forcing farmers to sell their land at less than true value  aided by allan pinkerton  timothy dalton  and his infamous detectives who  back then  were just thugs who provided security  but when ma james  kathy bates  becomes one of their victims  jesse and the rest of the guys  gregory smith  ty oneal  joe stevens  form the jamesyounger gang to wreak revenge by attacking the railroads supply lines  sabotaging track and robbing the banks where the payroll is kept  plus theres romance  between jesse and a spunky hometown gal  lee mimms  ali larter   working from a politicallycorrect  clich  drenched  sanitized and revisionist screenplay by roderick taylor and john rodgers  director les mayfield keeps the action fastpaced and goes for lightweight laughs when he can  the choppy editing hurts but russell boyds cinematography  luke reichles designer duds and trevor rabins music lend authenticity  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   american outlaws  is a galloping  formulaic 3  its the wild west revisited as a date movie  
neg	dear god  this is a fantastically bad film  regardless of what i say about knock off  you cant grasp its awfulness from my words  you have to see it and experience it for yourself  heres the kicker  though  i suggest that you do so  yes  this is a bad film  easily one of the most incompetent films of the year  but it has a certain misguided charm that makes it a unique kind of disaster to endure  in fact  i enjoyed myself for most of its brief running time  despite the dreadful acting and a completely incomprehensible story  dont get me wrong  im not excusing knock off  it reaches an unacceptable level of badness  its so incoherent that i wonder if it was hacked up worse than the avengers was  it also features some truly terrible performances from lela rochon  michael wong  paul sorvino  and  of course  jeanclaude van damme  it does  however  have the entertaining presence of rob schneider  and the excessively inventive and pretentious direction of tsui hark  as i watched it  i occasionally wondered if it was aware of its own awfulness  now  in retrospect  it seems clear that it wasnt  but its still a fascinating kind of mess  i dont like writing plot descriptions  it is  by far  the most boring part of writing a review   but  in this case  im off the hook  there is no way i could write an accurate synopsis for knock off  for the sake of comparison  i had no trouble understanding the usual suspects during my first viewing  i paid closer attention to knock off  and the only thing i am able to say about it is that van damme plays a dude named ray  and is accused by the cia  i think  of selling knock off products  knock off products are  of course  products that look like namebrand materials but are generic and cheap   i dont know what any of this has to do with martial arts  but there are lots of martial arts in the film  ray is good at martial arts  so when he has to beat up bad guys  theres no problem  rob schneider plays his sidekick  although i had no idea who he really was by the end of the film  lela rochon is just some woman who accuses them of stuff  while paul sorvino is both the good guy and the bad guy at once  in fact  every character goes through so many shifts from good to bad that the end provides absolutely no insight into what any of them really do  in that order  knock off is completely incoherent and makes absolutely no sense  but what a strange mess it is  it was written by stephen e  de souza  who also wrote die hard and 48 hours  can this be the same man  i dont see how  unless  of course  huge chunks of the film have been removed for the sake of running time  knock off seems to have an interesting premise  as far as action films go   but theres no semblance here  for instance  van damme is introduced  and then seconds later hes running a chariot race through the streets of hong kong  why  who knows  what are the implications of this  i have no idea  most action films abandon depth in favor of action  and this is normally a problem  knock off  however  is the first film that i would have preferred to see with all of the talky sequences cut  the acting is embarrassingly bad  rochon  in particular  delivers each of her lines with stiff and talentless insincerity  sorvino  in addition  deserves better than this  van damme is bad  but hes charming in that bad way  and so i cant say that hes hard to watch  although i rarely understood what he was saying   the only exception is rob schneider  who is actually quite funny a lot of the time  tsui utilizes so many tricks that he makes john woo look tame by comparison  theyre all pointless gimmicks though  such as shots of the innerworkings of a knock off running shoe  but his action scenes are never boring  one particular piece inside of a fruit factory  a fruit factory   is wellchoreographed  lots of the scenes are pitched well to comedy  such as our heroes first encounter with the rochon character  but did tsui know that his film is beyond ludicrous  i hope he did  for the alternative is a frightening thought  knock off has the feel of a truly terrible exercise in camp mania  if it were boring  id give it zero stars  but its not boring  its loud and excessive and completely incoherent  its also funny  even when it isnt meaning to be funny  a bad film that succeeds as entertainment doesnt deserve to be fully lambasted  i recognize knock off for its irrefutable badness  but i cant deny its zany  useless charm  oh  i know  theyre just action scenes looking desperately for a real story  but theyre fun action scenes amongst a crowd of laughably inane concepts  its fun to admire the awfulness of a film like this  but that doesnt excuse the fact that it is  indeed  awful  
neg	welcome to your ohso typical sequel  it tries to be twice as big as its predecessor  yet ends up twice as shallow  shallow     hmm    now theres an idea  maybe if the illfated cruise liner in this movie had struck a shallow reef early on things may have turned out better  the first thing that struck me    and surprised me  was that the camera work  for the opening sequence anyway  was terrible  looked like the cameramen were drunk and kept tripping on their own feet       very different to the original movie  the characters  well  not many of the characters actually  had  characters  but heres a rundown  annie  who was the highlight of the the original  must have seriously banged her head in the train crash at the end of the first movie  why  because somethings got to account for her losing that many iq points  even though annie wasnt exactly a rocket scientist in speed  here some of her actions just make you want to beat your head against a wall  for instance  after successfully using a chainsaw to cut a hole in a door so that a group of people can escape noxious gases  she stands in the middle of the opening for about five minutes till someone reminds her that the people cant get ut till she gets the chainsaw out of their faces     bang bang bang in point of fact sandras character is turned into little more than one of those scantly dressed extras from hercules  who constantly has to be rescued  jason patric  all i can say is bring back keanu  keanu reeves might have the emotional range of a tree stump    but thats one more tree stump than jason has  i dont think he changed facial expressions all movie  jason  smile for the cameras   now frown     i said frown     oh    you are    bang bang bang   wooden just doesnt describe this guys performance  but itll have to do  the bad guy      ahh    william dafoe  theres a bright move  how can you go wrong with the star from that acknowledged classic  body of evidence   yes  that is sarcasm   his wide eyed maniac of a character doesnt start out too bad     but goes steadily downhill as the movie progresses  in the end he degenerates to chasing annie around for a hostage  even though he already has the money and can escape     bang bang  though id like to give this movie a double thumbs down  there were some nice sequences  considering the movie cost over 100 million dollars  youd hope thered be at least a couple  the real eyepopper for me  even though it was given away in the trailer     bang bang      was the sequence where the cruise liner sideswipes the oil tanker  this looks terrific and i was very surprised to hear that the cruise liner in it was     completely computer generated  wow     i dont think ive ever seen a cg model look so real before  the sequence where jason patric in trying to disable the propellers from under the ship is also terrific  and the only time during the entire movie where you get that feeling of     speed  this lackofspeed problem affects many sequences  such as the oil tanker part      it was   oh no  were going to hit the oil tanker    20 minutes later   oh no  were going to hit the oil tanker   20 min     you get the point  this movie failed simply because it didnt live up to its name     there was very little feeling of speed  in the original movie  the lead characters had to make split second decisions to survive      in this movie it felt more like   well people  were gonna run into that there island in a few hours  i think i might stroll over to engineering and see if i cant turn off the engines    im passing the cafeteria on the way  can i get anybody anything   the ending of this movie really is terrible  even though it features what ive since found out is one of the most expensive sequences ever in a movie  it just doesnt work at all  the part where the liner crashes through the town looks very realistic  but     surprise surprise  it just takes waaaaay too long  it seemed to go for 15 minutes before the ship finally stopped  one thing that struck me as extremely poor scriptiing was that as the ship crashes through the harbour and town  around 25 people are killed by the ship     and theres only 15 or so people left on the ship  so when it stops safe and sound and the characters are all cheering  the audience is sitting back and thinking   wait a sec    this is a happy moment because   bang bang then there was the dog      i almost fell out of my seat when i saw the bit with the dog dodging the falling debris  putting a dog in peril has become the ultimate hollywood cliche       every movie seems to have a dogindanger sequence  volcano  dantes peak  independence day  daylight  twister  lost world       etc  etc  this movie is a perfect example of how not to make a sequel  director jan de bont should try watching the orignal movie and this one backtoback and see if he realises where he went wrong  
neg	synopsis  the president of a company wants to test his selfappointed successor  whos psychotic  and thinks its a great idea to spend a week with him and their wives in an isolated cabin a hundred miles from civilization with no dependable transportation or means of communication after a heavy snowfall  comments  tracks of a killer had a couple of strikes against it before i even began watching it  strike one was the fact that someone had scrawled the word garbage on the videotapes sticker in black marker  not typically a good sign when you rent a film   strike two came while the previews played  did you ever get a sinking premonition about a movies quality  or lack thereof  while watching the trailers that come before it  well  the cheesy films being advertised before tracks of a killer were films that no one has ever heard of starring people no one knows  and they all looked bad  definately not a good sign   tracks of a killer itself completed the strikeout  about the only positive thing this film had going for it was the fact that it sports some nice scenery  to be fair  the first halfhour or so promises at least a watchable thriller  wolf larson  who bears more than a passing resemblance to hugh grant  adequately plays the underling obviously set up as the killer of the films title  james brolin and kelly lebrock seem equally adequate as the loving couple larson will later threaten  brolins character  for some inexplicable reason  thinks its a great idea to spend some time in a cabin  practically isolated  with lebrock and larson  whom hes decided to test for the week before giving him full control of his company  by the time the characters arrive at the cabin  this film begins to become tedious  apparently  brolins successors test involves chopping wood for the fireplace and skiing  which dont seem like attributes necessary to run a business in the city  but  then again  what do i know about business  i do think  though  that they should have invested in some better furniture for the cabin  its beds and closets have a habit of just breaking at the slightest touch  larsons character accidently kills his own wife rather than the couple he wants to kill  this leaves the movie with an hour to go and only three characters  which really isnt enough to sustain it  the films writer must have taken a cue from stephen king  as scenes from tracks of a killer seem lifted out of misery and geralds game  larson and lebrock fight and torture each other  the tables get turned a couple of times  while brolin tramps around in the snow looking for help  some old guys around too  just so the killer can add to his body count without killing the couple  who everyone knows will be alive at the end of the film  the old guy  however  miraculously survives his first death and appears later to be killed again by the killer in a scene so ludicrous its worthy of a chuckle or two  outside of that chuckle  unfortunately  tracks of a killer will just bore you as the obvious plot is drawn out ad infinitum and the actors  for some reason  become increasing obnoxious  if youre in a video store and thinking about renting this turkey  dont  make tracks to a far superior suspense film  like misery  
neg	there should be a requirement that a potential viewer be under a certain film iq in order to see  mission to mars   there are probably quite a few people who are going to enjoy it  and most of them will probably be those who have seen very few films of its kind  but there are those who will not  and those will most likely be people who have already seen one or more of the following movies   2001  a space odyssey    armageddon    apollo 13    the abyss    close encounters of the third kind    e  t  the extraterrestrial    alien   and  aliens   why  because there is not one original idea in  mission to mars   all of it is cribbed from other films  and in most cases  better films   if this is the sort of thing you dont mind  you might like the film  of course  there are other reasons not to like  mission to mars   the main one being a script written by people who seem to assume their audience is filled with people who havent used their brains in some time  and who dont intend to start during the films running time   mission to mars  manages to be both stupid and boring at the same time  the plot  cribbed greatly from  2001   concerns a team sent to mars  the first manned trip ever made to the red planet  luke graham  don cheadle  leads the team  jointly formed of americans and russians  the team encounters a mysterious monolith that emits a strange pulse  this being nothing like the pulseemitting monolith in  2001   that one was on the  moon    but when they try to study it  a giant sand tornado comes out of the top and swallows them  all except luke  who survives long enough to send a garbled message back to the rotating space station  which looks strangely like the rotating space station in  2001    a rescue mission is planned with husband  wife team woody blake  tim robbins  and terri fisher  connie nielsen   obligatory pilot with a troubled past jim mcconnell  gary sinise   and extra crew member phil ohlmyer  jerry oconnell  along for the ride  after some zerogravity dancing  they run into problems when one of their engines is blown  forcing them to attempt a desperate landing aboard a supply vessel  now stranded on mars with minimal supplies  the team must decide whether or not it can risk entering the monolith or if they should return home  after all  that monolith just might contain information about how life originated on earth   mission to mars  is one of those films that makes a critic wonder where to start when talking about all the things that are wrong with it  so lets start with one of the things that does work  director brian de palma manages to create some eerie tension in a few scenes during the middle of the film  thats it  everything else fails  the failure isnt de palmas fault  hes working from an atrocious script  only during the sequence aboard the ship  looking an awful lot like the jupiter vessel in  2001   where the rescue teams air begins running out and they must frantically search for the hole and patch it up does  mission to mars  come to life  a scene where they attempt to save a comrade floating away into space also provides some tension  until you realize that the entire dangermore dangerattempted rescue sequence has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film  its just a contrived way to generate thrilling scenes  take it out  and the plot isnt affected in any way  the sequence also suffers from a few plot holes  as does the rest of the film   why is the ships computer  which sounds strangely like hal from  uh   2001   able to detect a hole in the main chamber but not one in the engine  why did tim robbins character have to go outside the ship when the solution easily presented itself from inside  shouldnt the astronauts be better trained to deal with a hull breach  why are the characters such idiots  because the script makes little attempt to properly develop them  all the  conflict  is clumsily delivered in excruciatingly obvious exposition in the opening scene  which rips off orson welles and robert altman by utilizing a long opening tracking shot  during which the characters repeatedly tell each other about things all of them should already know   jim  its too bad you cant go on this mission because you were determined psychologically inadequate because your wife died right before you were to go on the mission together   does anyone really talk like this  cant we find out these things in a less grating matter  like maybe in a flashback  the whole film is like that  the filmmakers are not content to merely show us something and assume we know whats going on  they must  tell  us exactly what were looking at  every  time  sample dialogue from the film   shot of mars  astronaut a   look  theres mars  astronaut b   you sure thats mars   astronaut a   yeah  thats mars all right   astronaut c   hey  are you guys looking at mars   that exchange isnt actually in  mission to mars   but i wouldnt be surprised if it were  for all their cribbing from kubrick  spielberg  james cameron  and even ron howard  the makers of this film havent learned to do something all those directors did very well  show and dont tell  de palma used to know how  but seems to have forgotten  this is mentallychallenged filmmaking  they assume the audience wont get whats going on  so they explain everything five times over  fourthgraders may appreciate this  but more learned viewers will have their intelligence insulted  the principal actors sleepwalk their way through  mission to mars   never managing to do away with an apparent  im just here to get a paycheck  attitude  cheadle stumbles over his awkward lines  armin muellerstahl manages to thoroughly embarrass himself in an unbilled cameo  robbins puts his game face on and phones in his standard  decent guy  performance  and sinise hams it up with  wistful  facial expressions while watching tapes of his dead wife  played by kim delaney  who only has one scene during which she still manages to deliver some ridiculous dialogue in a heavyhanded monologue about the meaning of life   and especially during the stolenfromnolessthanthreemovies  a lollipop to whoever names them  conclusion  which combines endless  obvious explanation and subpar cgi effects with gagging sentimentality and is sure to alienate any viewers who had been enjoying the show up until then  and of course  these aliens from mars who facilitated the evolution of life on earth are entirely different from the aliens in  2001  who facilitated the evolution of life on earth  those aliens were from an  unknown  world  it could be said that fans of brainless action films might enjoy  mission to mars   but such a comment ignores the fact that the film is also incredibly slowgoing  leisurely pacing might have helped a film with a little more substance to it  but all of the substance of  mission to mars  has been stolen from other films  and those other films dealt with their ideas in a much more thoughtful fashion and generally contained more engaging characters  supposedly were intended to choke up when one character decides not to return home at the end of this one  totally different from the onecharacterdecidesnottoreturn ending of  armageddon    but i suspect most people will either be laughing or groaning  me  i alternated between the two  there is only one good thing about the way  mission to mars  finally ends  the fact that the movie is over  
neg	underwater science fiction stays submerged sphere a film review by michael redman copyright 1998 by michael redman one of the most unpleasant experiences that can occur in a movie theater is when a cast of fine actors end up in a film that wastes their talents  you keep thinking what they might have accomplished with the time they squandered  psychologist norman goodman  dustin hoffman  is called to the middle of the pacific ocean to work with the survivors of a plane crash  when he arrives at the site  he discovers that there is no plane  but rather an enormous spacecraft that has been sitting 1  000 feet below the surface for almost 300 years  having written a paper for the bush administration on how to handle first contact  he is chosen to head up the team of scientists investigating the ship  his group as outlined in his report  consists of beth halperin  sharon stone   a biochemist  harry adams  samuel l  jackson   a mathematician  and ted fielding  liev schreiber   an astrophysicist  unfortunately it turns out that the writing was a blowoff project for goodman who did it for the money and named his thencolleagues to the team   after all   he explains   who reads government documents   lead by harold barnes  peter coyote   a top secret federal operative  the group descends to a mobile undersea headquarters set up next to the alien vessel  once there they stroll over  knock on the door and explore the stilloperational ufo  discovering the surprising origin of the ship and the crew finds an astonishing gigantic golden liquid metal sphere  when adams enters the sphere  the weirdness unfolds  a storm rolls in on the surface and the team is forced to remain below just as an unseen presence begins to communicate through their computer   my name is jerry  i am happy  flashes across the screen  this is unsettling for the psychologist   what happens if jerry gets mad   he asks  barnes is more pragmatic  he needs a last name because he cant put in his report that they made contact with an alien named jerry  then the situation turns bad  deadly beasts appear from nowhere  a gang of jellyfish kills one of the navy personnel  lethal sea snakes attack goodman  a giant squid batters the habitat just as adams is reading  20  000 leagues under the sea   the suspicious scientists turn against each other  this has all the makings of a firstrate thinking mans science fiction film  however even the finest ingredients dont go very far in the hands of a chief who doesnt seem to care about his product  director barry levinson has churned out a mishmosh that doesnt engage the audience beyond a few skillful suspense scenes  the first of the film zooms by as the situation and players are introduced without any characterization or justification  its much like speedreading a novel and realizing that you missed the nuances  it doesnt get any better when the action scenes begin  while the actors do an adequate job with their limited roles  the people are still flat  oddly they hardly have reactions when deaths occur around them  after adams experiences the interior of the sphere  no one bothers to ask him what happened  their history together is an intriguing plot device but is barely exploited  even goodman and halperins illconceived affair when she was his student is just mentioned in passing  her psychotic tendencies are talked about but never convincing  theres a truism that items shown early in a movie must be used before the ending  but here they are far too obvious  when an emergency minisub is explained  you know whats going to happen  the movie affectations are nothing more than distracting  chapter headings that divide the movie have no function  the shaky camera work muddies already perplexing chaos  much of what goes on is confusing and difficult to follow  although some of the disorientation eventually is understandable  a great deal of it isnt  even a science fiction film must be internally consistent  theres too much here that doesnt make sense  are the manifestations real  the jellyfish kill queen latifa  in a throwaway role  and the squid nearly destroys the outpost  but the bites of the fatal snakes have no effect  a scene in the sub suggests that its illusion  but earlier episodes indicate that its not  not everything has to be explained to death  but there are major questions that the film never answers  where the ship came from is clarified  but how it ended up on the ocean floor in 1709 is merely alluded to  even the enigmatic sphere is still mysterious when the credits roll  the climax is followed by 15 minutes of epilogue that does little but weaken the already labored tale  after prerelease audience testing  the actors were called back to reshoot the ending  its difficult to imagine how the original could have been worse  following the recent tradition of lengthy films  this weighs in at over two very long hours  the weak scenes could have been cut  but then there wouldnt have been much left  the movie was supposedly held up by effects work  but theres nothing special on the screen  we never even see the monstrous squid or the menacing storm  stealing from  alien    the abyss  and the disastrous  event horizon   this film has learned nothing from them  remarkably levinson and hoffmans other currently showing film is  wag the dog   a smart and entertaining piece of work  this one could have been titled the same sans one word  
neg	renowned hong kong action director tsui hark first teamed with jeanclaude van damme on the action stars 1997 pairing with dennis rodman  doubleteam  and managed to make what initially appeared to be a disaster into a slick  stylish  and somewhat diverting action timekiller  tsui continues to energetically pile on the visual razzle dazzle in his latest collaboration with the muscles from brussels  knockoff  but this time around  style neither save a script that is at best ridiculous  and at worst incomprehensible  nor hide a host of truly lousy performances  writer steven e  desouzas fairly straightforward plotline isnt as outre as doubleteams strange yarn involving a secret think tankprison  but it makes about as much sense  which is little  van damme plays marcus ray  a hong kongbased sales rep for a jeans company    who stumbles upon a russian terrorist scheme to implant powerful microchipsized bombs in hk product exports to the u  s  dolls  electronic equipment  and  yes  jeans  its all part of some type of ransom scheme  but all i remember isand i kid you notgraphics on a cia computer screen showing a map of the world  bombs detonating  and an hatwearing figure on the other side of the world bursting out into laughter       which is what the crowd at the showing i attended spontaneously did throughout knockoff  while all of van dammes films have its share of unintentional laughs  mostly due to the stiff acting  skills  of the physically agile van damme  knockoff delivers more than usual  though not as many as van dammes embarrassing directorial effort  1996s thequest   a lot of the laughs are earned by some particularly painful lines by desouza   i smoked that badass like a roman candle   and  entrepreneurship  babycakes   standing out among my favorites  but it is indeed the pathetic performances that provide the bulk of knockoffs laughs  van damme is true to laughable form  perhaps even worse than usual  early scenes actually require him to make funny with costar rob schneider  improbably cast as a deep cover cia agent posing as marcuss business partner   and the sight and sound of the stillheavilyaccented van damme haplessly trying to drop punchlines is hilarious in the wrong way  even typically good actors are not immune to the bad acting bug  paul sorvino is unconvincing and terribly overwrought as schneiders cia superior  and lela rochon  playing an investigator for the jeans company  spends the entire movie in perpetual snarl mode  in rochons defense  though  her role requires her to do little more than display her toned legs  exquisite bone structure  and perky bosoms  the latter coming in handy for one key scene where she must fish for microbombs stuck in her ample cleavage  tsui picks up where he left off visually in doubleteam  juicing up the proceedings with inventive camera work  here  though  tsuis visual razzle dazzle borders on over kill  coming off as desperate attempts to shield the inanity of the entire enterprise  for each nifty trick tsui pulls off  such as a recurring visual theme that has the camera literally going through the circuitry of electronic devices  there are others that are completely superfluous  this is especially disconcerting when the trick in question could be clever when used in the right context  for instance  one scene early on has marcus putting his hand in a box  as he puts his hand in  the same action is shown from an overhead camera angle in a rectangle at the corner of the screen  its undoubtedly an interesting visual  but it would have been nice if its use actually amounted to something  the test of a van damme movie boils down to the action sequences  but surprisingly  those in knockoff leave much to be desired  tsui does what he can to make something of them  employing freeze frames  blurred motion  and unconventional camera angles  but there is nothing fundamentally special about the fairly generic chase and fight sequences written by desouza  there isnt anything as preposterously amusing as the climactic tigerland mine fight in doubleteam  let alone anything remotely close to tsuis legendary hong kong works  but thats a given going in   if tsui has any hope of approaching his countryman john woos stateside success  he would do best to break free from van damme    before its too late  if he continues his involvement with bgrade movies such as knockoff  the respect he has from hk action fans will continue to diminish    that is  if it hasnt already disappeared entirely after this fiasco  
neg	upon first viewing of this movie  the phrases  been there  and  done that  come quickly to mind  spy hard manages to steal almost every joke from the zucker brothers films  the most popular of which are airplane and the naked gun series  stealing stuff can be profitable in this industry  but only when you steal the right stuff  what little plot there is involves dick steele  aka  agent wd40  leslie nielsen  trying to save the world from an almost deranged madman played by andy griffith  along the way to it goal  goal    the film manages to spoof mainly the james bond type films  but also manages to hit on films such as home alone and sister act  the trick about spoofing is that you have to actually be funny  or at the least  satirical  spy hard achieves neither  as it borrows all of the wrong elements from the superior zucker brothers films  the  dick  the world is in danger  what is it  well  its a big roundish ball floating in space around the sun    im paraphrasing   type of exchange is used at least four times in the opening ten minutes of the film  each time getting progressively less funny  what they should have stolen were the background sight gags which were so effective in the zucker brothers films while writing their own dialogue  director rick friedberg focuses more on the mug shots of his actors  especially nielsen  who can do this quite well  than on the delivery and context of their lines  much of the time cutting the punchline short  the whole film seems to be in a race with itself to be over  as is evident in the final sequence  where there is no comedic denouement after the climax  as was usual in the zucker brothers films and in spy hard  the end credits tend to replace this by being out of context  one of the more amusing was   captain of the enterprise       james t  kirk   overall  i thought this was a very weak effort  while all of the right films to spoof were chosen  they used none of the right spoofing methods  next time they should  spy  a little bit harder       excellent  one of a kind  must see      entertaining  worth the price of admission     fair  nothing much special    what were they thinking   
neg	first impressions  critically  a closetoawful film  but moneywise  it has been doing  and will continue to do  great  a sometimesfunny film that sags and lags and oftentimes gets boring  an orginal plot that grows old real fast  one of the only 90 minute films that ive gotten bored through  men in black has defied the odds  when i first saw that the flick was 89 minutes long  i thought maybe that this was a poor attempt at an independence day type film that just ran out of gas  however  i now realize that not only did men in black run out of gas  but the film in 90 minutes manages to show off a very original idea  which summer audiences have embraced  that becomes old about 25 minutes into the movie  tommy lee jones and will smith play two  government  agents who are responsible for keeping order in alien society  the ridiculous plot begins when an alien  bug   played weirdly by vincent donofrio  who was so great in full metal jacket  lands on earth to retrieve a galaxy thats somewhere on  orions belt   anyway  the basic plot revolves around jones and smith to stop this bug from getting the galaxy  or a higher power will blow up the earth  the premise is ridulous  but that is not why i didnt like this film  i love original plots  this one had an original one  but director barry sonnenfeld did something to this film that ruined its plot  he made the film drag and also put in unncessary elements in it that are found in romance films  whenever i saw donofrios bug stomp and eat people in the film  it got terribly boring after a while  while smiths wisecracks did fill in the gaps  it wasnt enough  and also  i cannot believe the screenwriters elected to have a subplot where tommy lee jones missed his former lover because as an alien agent  they cant have contact with any humans really  and here i see jones  at a satellite computer  watching his lover plant the garden  a sentimental moment in an alien movie  nice try  but i dont think so  it doesnt work here  it just makes the movie even more ridiculous and even more boring  we dont only have aliens to worry about  but now we have joness conscience  i came into the movie not wanting to see joness conscience  but wanting to see a real action movie that had lots of aliens in it  maybe its unfair that i partly judged this movie on what my expectations were  nevertheless  even though some parts are indeed funny  the plot in this movie grew old and boring  quick  
neg	there are movies that pose a question in its first five minutes and spend the rest of the time trying to answer it  then there are movies that spend the whole time posing questions and try to answer it all in the last five minutes  writerdirector john herzfelds two days in the valley falls into the latter category  weaving together a grabbag of seemingly unrelated characters  herzfelds tries very hard to keep the audience guessing with a altmanesque series of parallel stories  hitmen lee  james spader  and his partner dosmo  danny aiello  pop a guy in bed while leaving his drugged wife becky fox  teri hatcher  lying next to him showing the audience where on her behind she got nicely pricked  an understandeably shocked becky runs out of the house the next morning before hailing down a couple of vice cops   jeff daniels  and wes  eric stoltz   a murder is not vice territory  flirting with asian prostitues is  but wes would rather play inquisitive detective  meanwhile  washedup director  teddy  paul mazursky  is about to end his life  but before he can do that  he must find a good home for his dog  enter nurse audrey  marsha mason   who takes the dog and teddy for a ride  stuffy art dealer  allan hopper  greg cruttwell  has kidney stones  while struggling about his fancy house  he switches between moaning in selfpity and dropping condescending hints about his loyal secretarys  glenne headly  plain appearance  dont be surprised if you find yourself asking more than once just what the hell is going on  you might like that feeling of cluelessness  herzfeld does answer all the questions in the course of time and pieces it all rather neatly in the last five minutes  the jigsaw puzzle assembled isnt stunning by any means though  the characters lack the stature or moral complexity of altmans reallife heroes in short cuts  even though they are interesting and funny  funny  that is if you arent comparing them to the likes of tarantinos pulp chcaracters  the tieup is tidy but nowhere near the squeaky clean resolution of  directors name  guy who also did last seduction  red rock west  two days isnt a bad movie but there isnt much else to it than the screenplay novelty of the linkage of seemingly unrelated characters  itll keep you guessing alright but you wont remember the answers five minutes after the credits  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	warning  may contain slight mild spoilers  rated  r for intense violencegore  some strong sexuality and language  starring  arnold schwarzeneggar  robin tunney  rod stieger  gabriel byrne  running time  132 minutes we go into a movie theater  boom  the lights go down  our hearts race  we go through ten minutes of preview and finally the movie weve been waiting to see for a long time comes on  we sit there  watch in disbelief that this movie is as bad as it is  why shouldnt i have know what i was getting myself into  again like this past summers hit  stigmata    end of days  may be worse  its not like this is any kind of original idea  it just throws in some  rosemarys baby   along with  the devils advocate  a little  exorcist  and some  stigmata  here and there  whala you have  end of days  a movie that is extremely disappointing and by the previews made it look terrific  sadly but truly again like most recent films  all the good parts are in the trailers  the plot which is very confusing at times is also very ludicrous and the movie is destined to be a hit in the first weekend  and flop in the next  jericho cane  arnold schwarzneggar in hit typical macho role  is a cop who finds out that he is chosen to track down satan  living in gabriel byrnes body  and stop him from impregnating christine york  robin tunney  because if he does  and she gives birth all existence as we know it will cease to exist  he has to do this before it turns into the year 2000  and strangely hes trying to fight him 5 minutes before 2000 comes  he seeks help from the catholic church and help from rod stieger  in a terrific role  and tries to save this girl leading to an ending thats satisfying  but turns into a typical action movie  thats pretty much it on plot  it does have the razzle and dazzle of a great action movie  and with the 100m dollar budget parts seem to show it  parts you have to wonder where all the money went  as for arnie  good role  ok performance  i think since he is getting a little older he is held back a lot of his stunts  the thing that disappointed me was the fact that there was nothing to the film  in the trailers it looks like a good scary  action film and ends up being a boring  long and preposterous drama that leads into something else that leaves us with questions  gabriel byrnes  who ironically played a priest in  stigmata   here plays satan and gives a good performance but again seems held back and not into his character  two years back al pacino gave a terrific performance in the fun  the devils advocate  and here it seems like the idea of him is in the character also  robin tunney  great performance as always  plays satans main person whom he wants to impregnate to carry his child  of course rod stieger gives another great performance which really isnt nothing new  the direction by peter hyams is at times a bit overblown  though not nearly as the visual style was in  stigmata   here we are given great camera work  and some great scenes that are terrifically directed but sadly just dont work in this movie  the script written by andrew marlowe has a few witty lines  but again the movie is all style and no substance and by the ending finale climax i was ready to go home  only a few things work here and those are a few of the performances  the writing and visual style  but the storyline and the finished product dont work as well  the sad thing is that  end of days  had so many things going for it  the plot could have been more organized  the action scenes could have been more brainy and less mindnumbing  at times it seems like  armageddon  and started to get old and tiresome  hollywood is running out of ideas bad  and like ive always said before needs new ones  even with its 100m budget  end of days  is less than pleasing  in fact the 100m dollar budget is at least 30m over  and easily could have had a 70m budget  maybe i sound crazy  but i am really looking forward to the new exorcist film  and hope that they make it as good as the original  we need to get new ideas and stop recycling old ones just to make money at the boxoffice  we need to get more films like  the blair witch project  that could scare people to death  while people thinking well what exactly is scaring them and how do i know that it is in fact the blair witch  overblown effects  stupid and thin plotline  good performances  disappointing     umm yup those pretty much describe  end of days   
neg	 my name is jack carter  and you dont want to know me  says our brooding antihero  sylvester stallone   take his advice  to know this guy is as rewarding as being thrown over a terrace  and to watch this film is almost as painful   get carter  is a gloomy looking  unimaginative film that offers no joy  jack carter is as tough as tough guys come  he works out of vegas as a selfdescribed financial adjuster  explaining his duties  he says   people make promises and break them  i help them remember   he has a chiseled body full of tattoos  he has the weathered look indicative of a man who has seen his share of hard times  he speaks in a hushed but menacing tone of voice  in other words  this is sylvester stallone acting like    sylvester stallone  and like most of his previous roles  his character is a shallow  onedimensional thug whose modus operandi is to talk tough  hassle a few hapless people  find out what he needs to know  and then dispense his own kind of justice  with the charisma of a pit bull  being tough is all that jack carter knows  yet  even tough guys know when to put family first  as the story begins  we learn that jacks little brother has died in a car accident  the police attribute it to heavy drinking  however  jack is suspicious  believing that he was taken out  he takes a break from his vegas duties and tries to see if he can find the truth  as he pokes around  he runs into several lowlife characters  they include a shady business partner  a prostitute  a dweebish millionaire molded after bill gates  and an oily owner of a porn website  any one of them may know something about his brothers death  all of them have the means of carrying out the deed  but dont expect an exercise in sleuthing where wellplaced clues lead carter to the truth  hes all brawn and no brains  so there are no epiphanies during his investigation  instead  he uses intimidation to muscle his way forward  cycling through this circle of suspects  flustered with his lack of progress  he cycles through them again and again  this all gets tiring fairly quickly  by the time the film launches into its final act  were numb from its pedestrian pace  oddly  as a toughguy thriller  it starves us for action  admittedly  there is one nifty chase sequence  but this is related to a tangential and needless plot  carters vegas ties send thugs to retrieve him   the story also fails to generate any kind of emotion  stallone has the personality of a slab of stone  and the look and feel of the film is perpetually downcast  the weather is constantly overcast or rainy  meanwhile  most shots take place at night  in dimly lit rooms  or in dark alleys  its just impossible to get stirred about that kind of atmosphere  as a result   get carter  amounts to nothing more than a flat thriller  bereft of clever moments and devoid of any excitement  youre better off leaving this guy alone  
neg	you would think that this films dismal failure would be due to american filmmakers getting hold of a brilliant british comedy and  americanizing  it  youd be wrong  since full blame can be placed on the very folks who wrote and created the series  rowan atkinson  robin driscoll  and richard curtis  should you ever happen to meet those chaps  do me a favor  grab them by the hair and yell really loudly in their ear   what were you thinking   have you ever heard the phrase if it aint broke dont fix it    then walk away  the film concerns mr  bean  atkinson  and his visit to america while escorting the painting of  whistlers mother  to an american buyer  played by burt reynolds  in the type of bit part that his success in  boogie nights  should hopefully do away with   now how or why mr  bean is sent on this trip makes no sense  and i cant even describe how the film explains it  the point is that mr  bean comes to america and causes wacky trouble  problems problems problems  where to begin  first  the score music from the tv show has been completely replaced by score that is either at times one note away from the score from  beetlejuice  or one note away from the score from  rob roy   then  the song choices are totally uninspired   good vibrations    i love l  a    wow  dont put any thought into that guys  also  bean makes way too much noise in the film  the character doesnt speak much  but in the series you really only heard the laughter of the audience  and maybe the occasional murmur from mr  bean  each episode was like a chaplin silent movie  in the film  bean is constantly moaning  grunting  whining  etc  its annoying  and just plain wrong for the character  the main problem though is that its just not funny  with each episode of the series there would be dozens of really great laughs crammed into less than 30 minutes  multiply that running time by three however  and the laughs steadily decrease  they even have the gaul to repeat jokes from the series  sad  and creatively lazy  as a series   mr  bean  only ran for about 13 episodes or so  why on earth did atkinson and the gang decide it was time to completely rework everything  13 halfhour episodes certainly hadnt exhausted all possible situations  all i can say positively for the film at this point is that its almost appropriate for all ages  if it wasnt for a couple of scenes where it appears as though mr  bean is having sex with things  and even that isnt a very positive statement  please guys  go back to england and go back to television so youll make me laugh again  pg13 
neg	robin williams has the rarest of gifts  the ability to rise above the most inept material and suffuse it with his irreverent style  overwhelmingly  his worst films are pleasantly diverting at worst and enjoyable at best  with the notable exception of flubber   so when i  the one person who has refused to abandon him despite patch adams  tell you that not even williams can save his latest project  you know its in trouble  jakob the liar is a confused  muddled little movie  a generically  uplifting  film with a fundamental contradiction  the message it delivers is depressing as opposed to inspiring and the movie doesnt realize it  williams plays jakob haim  a jew imprisoned in a polish ghetto during world war ii  one night he wanders outside after curfew and is promptly sent to the office of a highranking german officer for his punishment  jakob gets off easy and he gets to hear approximately 30 seconds of a radio broadcast  the announcement  in english  but punctuated by a triumphant  heil hitler    is that russian troops are only miles away from jakobs ghetto  liberation  he thinks  the next day  jakob tells the news to his closest friend  a volatile prize fighter named misha  liev schreiber   who despite being sworn to secrecy passes the message along  soon  it is a common assumption in the ghetto that jakob has a radio hidden in his home  a crime punishable by death  this is absurdly false  but the more jakob tells the people of the ghetto this  the more convinced they become that he is abreast of the latest developments in the war that is to decide their fate  the danger  of course  is that the germans allegedly have informants throughout the ghetto  and rumors about the radio can get out and put jakob in great danger  in a curiously irrelevant subplot  jakob finds a 11year old girl who has separated from her parents and decides to hide her in his small home  apparently he is afraid that she will be discovered  and goes to great length to make sure of that  just why the idea frightens him is never made clear  he and the girl build an uninvolving  generic relationship that never goes anywhere and is as irrelevant at the end as it was in the beginning  the moral of the story is that hope is the best medicine  but jakob the liar forgets that the hope that jakob brings to his ghetto is false  such hope inevitably leads to expectations of its realization and when those expectations arent met  the results are far worse than if there was no hope  thats the films biggest detriment  it is based on a false assumption and thus comes off as painfully false  its never moving because it doesnt give us anything to be moved by  jakob the liar fails to tug any heartstrings which destroys its purpose for existing  robin williams doesnt inject the film with life  as a matter of fact  he seems a little out of it  as if crippled by his fake accent  he is stragely unenthusiastic  his character is one who spreads hope but his performance is lifeless  hopeless  not since good will hunting has he abandoned his signature style to this extent  this isnt the robin williams we know and love  in good will hunting he became a serious actor and won an oscar for it  here  he is more of a wannabe serious actor  an impostor  jakob the liar will be compared with last years life is beautiful because it is being marketed as a  holocaust comedy   its not a comedy  it tries  sometimes  but it rarely works  is it a melodrama  a war movie  a character study  no  no  and no  jakob the liar is the kind of movie that cant be placed into a category  not because it covers so many different genres but because it fails at just about every one it attempts  
neg	say  tell me if youve seen this before  a crisis onboard a commercial airliner causes a stewardess to have to fly and land the plane herself  airport 97 anyone  ray liotta is a psychotic serial killer being transported from new york to california on christmas eve  amazingly  on what would seemingly be a busy day of travel on one of the most flown routes  only about six other passengers are on the flight  anyway  they take off  liotta escapes and kills all the police and the pilots  and stewardess lauren holly locks herself in the cockpit to fly the plane  the story is beyond routine  the script is embarrassing  at one point  this jumbo jet is flying completely upside down   the characters are worthless  and the performances are annoying  surprisingly  cowriter steven e  de souza actually wrote the first two  die hard  movies   turbulence  takes place at christmas time  yet the film was released a few days after the holidays  brilliant marketing  as no one cares about anything having to do with christmas after december 26th  the studio knew they had a bomb  and purposely dumped it out when the fewest number of people would see it  r 
neg	it should have been a classic  a great cast of respected supporting actors  an interesting premise of loser comic book characters  however   mystery men  proved to be one of the great disappointments of 1999  the jokes were bland and hackneyed from talents who have previously made audiences laugh with their unique rituals  the number of cliches and shallow characters made the film difficult to sit through seriously hurting its attempt of having a fast paced premise  the script tried to deliver a series of small jokes throughout the film but without a big laughoutloud joke and mediocre small jokes  it failed miserably at being entertaining at all  the jokes were not funny for a number of reasons  they had been used a number of times before in previous films  the best ones  which were mediocre to begin with  were ruined in the trailer  and the expectation of laughing at clever  unique gags from clever unique comedians when there were none to laugh at greatly damaged the film   mystery men  might have worked if it was an ensemble cast of newcomers trying to break into the business  but with veterans doing this kind of junk  it really questioned whether their other work was as funny as originally thought  thankfully most actors in this movie will appear in five other movies before the new year arrives to help viewers forget this little movie  the film follows a band of wannabe superheroes living in a wannabe gotham city who are ridiculed by their fellow citizens and villains because of their clumsiness and failure to save they day and capture the bad guy  the fact is these pathetic losers are not needed because their city already has a successful superhero  captain amazing  who has recently captured every evildoer in the city  captain amazing  played terribly by an uninspired greg kinnear   because of his success in the past  is worried that he will lose popularity  after freeing one of the most notorious bad guys in the city  geoffrey rush  overacting just a bit too much  to keep himself busy  things get out of hand when captain amazing is captured  it is up to the wannabe superheroes to save the day  by the time this section of the plot is finished  the interest for what happens  if you havent already figured it out  is very low  there are very few scenes which catch the viewers complete attention  the first scene in the film  which shows the wannabes trying to save the day  feels like it was seriously edited down  right when it was beginning to become slightly funny seeing these actors get humiliated at an old folks home by some masked goons  captain amazing comes in and saves the day  or ruins the movie  instead of editing this scene  more editing should have been done in areas such as the unnecessary romance between mr  furious  ben stiller  and monica  a waitress  claire forlani  or the vast majority of the film  which is the heroes talking at a coffee table about how their day was  a simple rule  more silly action is needed in order to make a silly action movie work  another major problem with  mystery men  is that every actor in it seemed very uncomfortable and consequently gave terrible performances  the film depended on its cast to work fluently together  like a bunch of old friends working together in an amiable reunion  however  most characters seemed like they did not even want to be in this film or at least the script made it seem this way  to pull one of the actors in this film randomly out of a hat  paul reubens  who disappeared from acting to everyones joy  returns here leaving very little to be impressed about  as a wannabe who uses flatulence for a weapon  all of his jokes must therefore be fart jokes  fart jokes that have all been heard before and will inevitably be heard again in future films thanks to the success of  american pie  and  theres something about mary    mystery men  drags on towards the end to a point where anything else in the world is more entertaining  anyone with a brain knows each one of the heroes is going to be successful at their talent in the end and each one is going to contribute in a helpful way  so why continue to watch  this film is far from a worthy guilty pleasure   mystery men  indeed does this and every time a character succeeds another one congratulates him and says  i knew you could do it    mystery men  fails in every category it attempts to pass  what makes this film so bad is that it had the potential to be wonderful and unforgettable  terrible acting  terrible script  and a terrible waste of time changes opinions about all of these actors   im unpredictable   an overexcited ben stiller shouts out  no ben  youre the complete opposite  
neg	in my review of  the spy who shagged me   i postulated an unbreakable law of film physics  every time a sequel is as good as or better than the previous film in the series  it is followed by a third movie that is a bore  the cause is probably complacency  a studio sighs with relief when part 2 lives up to expectations and figures part 3 is a sure thing   scream 3  provides the latest proof of this rule  in los angeles production has begun on  stab 3  return to woodsboro   the most recent installment in the series of movies inspired by the murders surrounding sidney prescott  neve campbell   however  life soon starts imitating art  and  stab  cast members turn up stabbed  smelling yet another book deal  gale weathers  courteney cox arquette  comes to the set to investigate and finds her exboyfriend dewey riley  david arquette  acting as a technical consultant and getting chummy with jennifer  parker posey   the actress playing gale in  stab 3   elsewhere  our heroine sidney is living in hiding under an assumed name    until she gets a phone call from a familiar evil voice  the late randy meeks  jamie kennedy  makes a surprise guest appearance via video to explain the rules of a trilogy  he notes the third chapter in a trilogy has an overabundance of exposition and a huge backstory to contend with  indeed   scream 3  tries to link its murders back to the one that started it all  the murder of sidneys mother maureen before the beginning of the original  scream   at the scene of each murder in  scream 3   the killer leaves a photo of sidneys mother maureen as a teenager in hollywood and even includes a note claiming to be her real killer  to find out who the killer is  our intrepid investigators have to uncover what happened during maureens missing years when she was a starlet appearing in lowbudget horror films   even with that little information  you can probably already guess what the killers relationship to sidney is   unlike its predecessors   scream 3  doesnt have the guts to even suggest that the central characters might be the killer  the characters we do suspect are all undeveloped  so that by the end we dont even care who the killer is  the jaded detective  patrick dempsey   the kinky producer  lance henriksen   the driven young director  scott foley   the ingenue  emily mortimer   the character who turns out to be the killer seems to be selected at random  wes craven supposedly filmed three different endings to keep the real one a secret  so its quite possible the one in the final cut was randomly chosen  the series trademark references to other horror films have become trite and obvious  possibly its the absence of screenwriter kevin williamson  who penned the first two  or maybe its that the hip ironic stance eventually consumes itself and a series that parodies film cliches eventually becomes a cliche  i groaned as an attack on sidney from the first  scream  was repeated momentformoment in the hollywood set of her home  at some point  referencing becomes just a means to cover up a poverty of new ideas   scream 3  also continues the tradition of having an eclectic set of cameos and familiar faces in small roles  look for jenny mccarthy  carrie fisher  patrick warburton  puddy from  seinfeld    roger corman  and jason mewes and kevin smith  as jay and silent bob  to walk through at some point  all these bit players put forth more effort than the series returning stars  who are probably saving their energy for the long post  scream  job search  another prediction i made in a previous review has come to pass  more movies are copying  the blair witch project  s web strategy   scream 3  has three official websites that  wink  wink  pretend that the events of the movie are real and provide additional backstory information not covered in the movie  the sunrise studios site  scream3  com  has trailers for other sunrise releases as well as the  latest stab 3 news   theres also a gail weathers official site  galeweathers  com  and a sunrise sucks site that has more  stab  scandals the studio wants to cover up  sunrisesucks  com   craven and company promise that this is the last installment in the  scream  series  while i hope thats true  i dont hold out much hopehorror movie series are even harder to kill than their monsters  theres a  halloween h2k  in the works  even though michael myers was beheaded in  h20   and a  freddy vs  jason  has been talked about for awhile  despite the fact that both characters were  killed off   theres bound to be a  scream 4  someday  even if it starts over with a new set of moviestar wannabes  bottom line  they should have called this one  yawn   
neg	i want to be involved in show business one day  and i refuse to do any sequels to any movie i may make because i believe they only get worse  this movie proves it for me  i was a little worried about the last batman film  as i thought joel schumaccer  taking over from tim burton  would screw it up  i also assumed val kilmer would screw up as bruce wayne  they didnt  kilmer did a good job  and the cast was left to carry the movie  which they did  even jim carrey as the riddler and i cant stand jim carrey   because schumaccer messed up the direction with his glitzy gotham and his awkward camera angles  this film is different  the cast is still impressive  but here  not only does schumaccer mess up with the direction  hes one of those directors whos good with actors  terrible with camera angles   but writer akiva goldsmith doesnt really give an impressive cast anything to do  the cast is impressive  clooney is a surprisingly good waynebatman  odonnell is a crafty robin as usual  they couldve casted somebody better as batgirl  my friend likes neve campbell   but silverstone is not bad  and thurman is a good poison ivy  the major problem is schwarzenegger  who is a terrible freeze  his accent is so heavy  you cant understand what he says  and the trouble with action stars like him is they cannot act  and they know it  but they figure that if they flex their muscles  say a limited amount of stuff  and kill a bunch of guys  then they figure nobodyll notice  thats the trouble with me   i  notice  schwarzenegger does not deserve billing over clooney  or as much money as he got for this  but hollywood thinks he does  patrick stewart was the person id heard that was considered to play freeze  and he wouldve been so much better  or sean connery  but not arnold  im not an actor  but i play one in real life  schwarzenegger  i realize that you must be a star to play a major role in a batman film  but it wouldve been nice if theyd casted a star that had talent for the role  akiva goldsmiths screenplay avoids some stuff that happens in a normal batman film  in a regular batman film  theyd concentrate on the relationship with the girlfriend a little more  but elle macphersons julie madison is so limited here that we never get a real sense of who she is  there is talk of a fifth batman movie  my interest to see it is low  but i hope its better than this  if you dont want to waste your time  rent any of the other batman movies from blockbuster  any other  
neg	for a movie with such deep religious and spiritual undertones  it is surprising to find the messenger  the story of joan of arc such an ungodly mess  in the early to mid 1400s  there was little in the way of spiritual light to be found shining from the heart of a man or woman  the church was a dismally dark and oppressive place  france was involved in  the hundred years war  against england  there was no strong political leadership in the country  morale was low  there being little hope for the future  it was within this setting that a young french girl began hearing  voices  and seeing  visions   convinced that these were messages from god  she brazenly demanded to see the dauphin in order to deliver the message directly to him  the message  if he would give her an army to command  she would deliver to him the crown  he does    and she does  then  once seated on the throne  he abandons her to her english captors  director luc besson  the fifth element  may have cowrote the script but he never appeared to have a proper handle on the material  the inconsistencies of the cast  the confusing blur of the violent battle scenes  the inappropriate musical score  and the lack of a vibrant life force at the center of the film adds up to a largely disappointing end product which is oftentimes unintentionally laughable  his biggest miscue was to cast his wife  milla jovovich  the fifth element  in the title role  ms  jovovich  looks spectacular as joan  clad in battle armor  astride a similarly protected horse  if looks were enough to fully convey a character  she would have been brilliant  since it isnt  she tried  and failed  to act the part  her joan is unbalanced   inspiring  the troops merely by screaming stridently and waving her banner or sword over her head like a woman possessed  john malkovich  being john malkovich  fares a bit better as the dauphin  who joan would see on the throne as charles vii  an easily manipulated man  his weakness of character foreshadows the betrayal of joan which would lead to her death  faye dunaway  the thomas crown affair  gives a strong performance in minimal screen time as the dauphins motherinlaw and chief advisor  the army under joans command are comprised of comical figures  more stooges than soldiers  the one exception would be tcheky karyo  la femme nikita  as dunois  the man who was leading the attack prior to joans arrival  trying to plan a systematic campaign  he sees his leadership authority negated by joans insistence on following her  visions   dustin hoffman  sphere  has a small inhuman role as joans conscience which begins speaking to her while awaiting trial  dressed like cloaked monk  he leads her to doubt herself and her  revelations   as well she should  scriptures do speak of revelation  god  via his gift of holy spirit  is able to communicate to men  three of the nine manifestations of holy spirit listed in 1 corinthians 12 deal with receiving revelation  they are  word of knowledge  word of wisdom  and discerning of spirits  even the scriptures themselves are a result of god giving revelation to his  holy men    who spake as they were moved by holy spirit  i  e  by revelation    but the scriptures also caution us   beloved  believe not every spirit  but try the spirits whether they are of god  because many false prophets are gone out into the world   1 john 4  1 kjv joans end   being burned at the stake at the age of 19   the frenzy  mob rule  and blood lust her inspiration wrought  and the death  pain  or suffering which followed her campaign all point to a devilish influence rather than a godly one  while her conviction and intense believing remains an admirable quality  she was  as others have been before and since  misled by the spiritual master of deception  as a messenger  she was quite effective  she was just confused as to whose message she was carrying  
neg	possibly the years the most anticipated film and finally it arrives here in the uk  it smashed u  s box office office records in its opening weekend and will no doubt do the same here  but is it any good  in a word  no  ill elaborate further  the story is as follows  apparently there were two islands with dinosaurs on  one where the dinos lived untouched by mankind and the other a tourist attraction which failed before it even opened   see jurrasic park   imgen  the company that funded jurrasic park  want to reccover their losses by taking more dinos off the other island and move them to a new attraction in san diago  realizing what a bad idea this is  proffessor john hammond  richard attenborough  decides to send a team to document the dinosaurs  so as to rally public support to preserve the island  enter familiar mumbling man jeff goldblum who only agrees to go when told his girlfriend is already there  so  basically  what you have is this  two teams  one sent to catch and move some dinosaurs to the mainland and the other  trying to document them  being forced to work together  fighting for survival against the dinosaurs firm intentions on eating them  a fairly good idea  however its let down by one slight problem  its crap  over two hours of chase scenes gets way too boring  way too quiclky  add to this a terrible script and some feeble attempts at some occasional characterisation and you end up very disinterested  it becomes background noise while your mind starts concentrating on things like  whats for tea   and should you cut the lawn later    yes  you should   its a shame then really  that spielberg has lowered himself into making what essentially is a blatant cash in  which adds practically nothing to the far superior jurrasic park  with only a few creative and genuinely tense scenes and fabulous c  g  i dinosaurs  the t  rexs have to be seen to be believed   there is nothing else to recommend the lost world  a very dissapointing sequel  indeed  
neg	 holy man  boasts a sweet  gentle  comic performance from an unusually subdued eddie murphy and a few moderately funny skits  unfortunately  to get to the good stuff you have to sit through a painfully long setup  loads of tedious filler  interminable shots of jeff goldblum stammering and twitching  a superfluous romantic subplot and quite possibly the most annoying performance of robert loggias career  if ever a movie screamed  wait for video so you can fastforward through all the dull and annoying parts   this is it  eddie murphy plays g  a robed nomadic pilgrim wandering the land enjoying the moment and spreading his spiritual message  a chance meeting with ricky hayman  goldblum   a stressedout executive of a homeshopping channel  and kate newell  kelly preston   a nononsense media analyst  results in physical injury to g  quicker than you can say  the odd couple   g ends up rooming with an extremely leery ricky  after some script gymnastics  g appears live on the air at the good buy shopping network  wreaking havoc on the cheesy product demonstrations  enraging network owner mr  mcbainbridge  loggia   and becoming a national media sensation   holy man  attempts to be several things at once  it tries to satirize home shopping networks  but its difficult to effectively make fun of something that is already a selfparody  the film attempts to teach us that collecting material possessions is merely a futile attempt to fill the spiritual holes in our hearts  but thats common knowledge already   holy man  also tries to present a story of redemption  as ricky hayman tries to decide whether to exploit gs good will to achieve financial security or do the right thing at the expense of his career  anyone want to place a wager on his final decision  the one genuine asset in  holy man  is eddie murphy  who gives a charming performance  sharing love  good will and relevant advice to all those around him  while beaming his million dollar smile at just the right moments  murphy is delightful and the film takes off whenever hes onscreen  unfortunately  hes not onscreen enough  jeff goldblum gets the lions share of screen time and his tired storyline weighs the proceedings down  as his potential love interest  kelly preston tries to brighten things up  but she transforms from an allbusiness media shark to an empathic softy far too quickly and the abrupt change reeks of contrivance  the other principal actor  robert loggia  wastes his talents in a onenote turn as a ruthless  screaming monster  structurally unsound and way too long   holy man  is appealing when murphy is onscreen and dull when he isnt  instead of dropping your money at the theater for this trifle  wait until it hits video and fastforward past everything except the murphy scenes  g suggests that we focus on enjoying the moment and thats the best way to do so  
neg	its actually not so bad that dreamworks decided to release the love letter at about the same time as star wars episode i  the phantom menace  because this way less people will have to sit through this dreadful little comedy  and no  i really dont feel guilty about wishing this movie death at the boxoffice  really  i dont  not at all  the plot has been done before  a mysterious  unaddressed love letter shows up in a small town  causing confusion for everyone who reads it  the center of the ensuing disaster is bookstore owner helen  kate capshaw  and by the way  what is it with bookstore owner main characters  in the past year and a half weve seen them in life is beautiful  youve got mail  this movie  and the upcoming notting hill   who finds the letter in between couch cushions in the bookstore  she immediately starts testing other people to see who it might be from  and comes to the  incorrect  conclusion that the author of the note is a young employee played by tom everett scott  he  reading the letter himself  assumes that she wrote it for him  after a while  they fall in love  well  duh   kate feels guilty about getting in a relationship with someone more than twenty years younger than her  and she also feels guilty because at the same time she is also involved with the town fireman  tom selleck   to add to her turmoil  her mother shows up  blythe danner  who apparently must have had her daughter when she was about 9  and her trusted bookstore manager  deadpan ellen degeneres  quits  supporting characters arent called supporting for nothing  their purpose isnt just to move the plot along  theyre also supposed to give the storyline a backbone  to do this  they must exhibit at least marginal depth and must also be interesting  rarely can a movie work if it puts an interesting protagonist in the middle and surrounds her with hackneyed  dull  cardboard secondary characters  especially when at the core of the movie is the protagonists various interactions with them  this is the love letters damning error  capshaws character is as good as i have seen present in recent romantic comedies  but the people that surround her are all either underwritten or purely onedimensional  because of that  the love letter is awkward and insincere  even worse  its a bore  i liked capshaw and her helen  but everyone else is painfully fake  undermining the little drama or sexual tension that has the potential to exist  there is nothing particularly hilarious about all this either  and besides degeneres wisecracks  theres little that is even a little amusing  this is not a completely thoughtless film and director peter hosun chan does a good job of portraying helens yearnings and various subtle complexities  but its far from profound  there isnt a common theme running through the proceedings  thus the movie seems thoughtfully pointless  really  this is a harmless little movie  its far from an abomination and its not torturous to sit through  but bad  it is  awful  it also is  the love letter is a failure  and an inane failure at that   1999 eugene novikov137  
neg	surrounded by hype  high hopes  and the promise of an overthetop performance by cluelesss brittany murphy  dont say a word looked full of promise  hell  when i hear that  ill never tell  whisper on the tv commercial  goose bumps run up my spine  alas  word is filled with little but disappointment  a kooky mix of girl  interrupted and ransom  with michael douglas and company collecting a paycheck to plod through a vapid and dull kidnapping thriller  douglas stars as nathan conrad  renowned new york psychologist  devoted father of jessie conrad  skye mccole bartusiak   and loving husband to aggie conrad  famke janssen   after a gang of jewel thieves  headed by sean beans koster  kidnaps his daughter  nathan is forced to extract from his new patient  the catatonic and violent elisabeth burrows  murphy   the location of some hidden bank job booty that her father hid from the koster gang a decade ago  but with hardnosed detective sandra cassidy  jennifer esposito  doing her best j  lo impression  tracking down koster and his gang of hoodlums  the stakes are raised as nathan races against the clock to crack the mystery of elisabeths head in order to get the goods inside  the catch  nathan only has until five oclock to solve the puzzle  whoa  the suspense is almost too much  dont say a word loses the audience inside of 15 minutes  murphy looks and acts like linda blair from the exorcist during the first part of the movie  then turns around and reprises like her role from girl  interrupted  and the only real  crazy  to be found in the film is director gary fleders  things to do in denver when youre dead  staggering use of flashback sequences  oliver platt  famke janssen  and even sean bean are decent actors  but the stuff they are given here  such as a bedridden wife fighting off the token black guy with her crutch  is insulting and demeaning  additionally  the use of the surveillance cameras and laptops to track nathans every move is downright unbelievable  how do excons fresh out of the big house afford all this equipment  despite its flaws  dont say a word is surprisingly some of the best mainstream film youll find this month  and audiences will lap it up  americans love lukewarm  halfbaked thrillers starring big names and accompanied by cheap thrills  someone get me my lithium  
neg	some concepts seem patently hopeless from the beginning  a liveaction version of mr  magoo being a prime example  the cartoon figure mr  magoo  the bumbling blind man  can be quite funny  but only in small doses and only within the confines of animated images  if you think naked gun star leslie nielsen is a dubious choice to play the role of the short guy who runs into walls  you are right  but there is an even more astonishing selection  for a director they tapped hong kongs stanley tong  whose resume consists mainly of a handful of movies featuring martial arts expert jackie chan  the story  such that there is one  is about a large  stolen ruby  which looks a woolworth reject  mr  magoo gets it and  of course  does not realize he has it  mayhem then ensues as the bad and the good guys chase each other with mr  magoo frequently oblivious to the fact that anyone is being chased  like home alone 3 but without any class  mr  magoo can only be described as painfully bad  fifteen minutes of it feels like an eternity  the movies humor is pathetically lame  and the pacing is way off  when one is stuck in a theater for an hour and a half watching what claims to be a motion picture  one looks for some solace  mr  magoo provides only three such moments  the movie begins and ends with the classic cartoon version of the character  who exudes his usual charm  the only other saving grave in the movie itself is angus  the sweet little bulldog  angus demonstrates more genuine emotions and a wider acting range than any of the humans in the picture  finally  the ending credits contain outtakes of the movie  which have some of the genuineness and spontaneity that the movie badly lacked  rather than attempt to adapt mr  magoo to a noncartoon movie  nielsen makes the strategic mistake of trying to literally be a human version of the cartoon  he has trouble sustaining the squinting eyes and the affected voice  and even when he does it comes off as awkwardly unfunny  my wife managed to get some sleep during the movie  but i was not so lucky  hopefully  this picture will force producers to think harder about which subjects have promise and which do not  mr  magoo runs 1  37  it is rated pg for comic violence and would be acceptable for all ages  my son jeffrey  age 8  said he thought the movie was good and really funny  but recommends you not choose it if you want an action movie  he said he liked home alone 3 much more  his friend maxim  age 9  said that he thought it was good but very silly and parts did not make sense  his other friend nickolas  age 8  said hed give the movie    12  but that it was really silly  
neg	breakdown is an moderately entertaining  if underwhelming  thriller  kurt russell and kathleen quinlan play couple jeff and amy taylor  taking the scenic route to california through redneck country  however  while in the middle of nowhere  their jeep decides to break down  leaving them stranded  a friendly truck driver  warren  walsh   offers to give them a lift to town  although jeff rejects the offer  he wants to stay with his car   amy agrees  hops into warrens lorry  and promptly disappears  jeff wonders where the hell she is  and when he later catches up with warren and warren says he has never seen amy in his life  the plot thickens and jeff goes on a chase to find his wife  although comparisons can be made with this film to deliverance  1972  and the vanishing  1993  plot wise  the latter two are far superior character and script wise  kurt russell is o  k as jeff  although he can seemingly only pull of one expression  which is angry  throughout the whole film  he looks angry  or just pissed off   quinlan is o  k again  but again she can only pull off one expression  which is looking dorky  throughout the whole film  she looks dorky  j  t walsh  who  sadly  recently passed away  is fine as warren  who we soon find out is a kidnapper  although his actual character is pretty weak  and not really menacing enough  the supporting cast do their best aswell  with rex linn as a doubting sheriff  and the other kidnappers  the story  written by firsttimer jonathan mostow  who also directs  is o  k  if surprisingly familiar and sometimes extraordinarily stupid  some of the things the characters do in this movie is beyond the bounds of idiocy  there are some flaws with the plot also  as the characters do the complete opposite to logical  presumably to keep the story exciting  and also the fact that the story just isnt strong enough to sustain the audiences attention  the picture moves along very slowly also  it almost threatens to drop dead  the picture does pick up towards the end  but by then its too late  mostow directs the action sequences well enough  however  the film doesnt really come to a satisfying conclusion  either  the ending tries to be bleak  but just comes off annoying  breakdown could of been a far more enjoyable picture had it had a stronger cast and director  instead  it just turns out to be merely average  a missed opportunity  overall rating review by david wilcock 
neg	ugh  that about sums this movie up  just  ugh  the original godzilla movies are somewhat of a cult classic  and when reviewing the previous films  each film had a certain degree of intelligence  and that was the reason they found such an enviable cult following  in spite of bad special effects  horrible dubbing  and a man in a lizard suit  they maintained a certain degree of    how to put this     dignity  not quite the word im looking for  you understand  right  and in 50 years  godzilla has maintained that degree of whatever  leave it to america to screw the whole thing up  from the geniuses that brought us  independece day   arguably the worst scifi movie of all time  to ruin whatever reputation godzilla had  while they do bring us eyepopping special effects that will amaze you  they lost what was at the center of all the original godzilla movies  a storyline  summing up the movie is simple  heck  i can do it in one sentence  giant lizard attacks a giant city and a bunch of nobodies stop it  simple as that  matthew broderick stumbles over his lines  and its hard to picture hank azaria in any role besides his classic dogwalking character on the television show  mad about you   the dialogue seems to be improvized  almost as if there was no rehearsel done at all  i can see the scene on the set right now   all right  we spent all of this money making big special effects  and weve gotta get this movie out by summer or its going to bomb in our faces  so  you actors just say what ever comes to the top of your head  all right  make up something  mkay  good  roll film    the special effects are enough to keep you interested through one viewing  and some of the cinemtography is welldone  the scene with the black umbrellas comes to mind   still  an hour into it  you will become antsy  wondering how long they can drag it out  and drag it out they do   i have to laugh  the slogan for the film is   size does matter   i think they cut this too short  it should read   size does matter  acting does not   
neg	ripe with explosions  mass death and really weird hairdos  tsui harks  double team  must be the result of a tipsy hollywood power lunch that decided jeanclaude van damme needs another notch on his bad moviebedpost and nba superstar dennis rodman should have an acting career  actually  in  double team   neithers performance is all that bad  ive always been the one critic to defend van damme  he possesses a high charisma level that some genre stars  namely steven seagal  never aim for  its just that hes never made a movie so exuberantly witty since 1994s  timecop   and rodman    well  hes pretty much rodman  hes extremely colorful  and therefore he pretty much fits his role to a t  even if the role is that of an excia weapons expert  its the story that needs some major work  van damme plays counterterrorist operative jack quinn  who teams up with arms dealer yaz  rodman  to rub out deadly gangster stavros  mickey rourke  all beefy and weirdlooking  in an antwerp amusement park  the job is botched when stavros son gets killed in the gunfire  and quinn is taken off to an island known as  the colony   a think tank for soldiers  too valuable to kill  but  too dangerous to set free   quinn escapes and tries to make it back home to his pregnant wife  natacha lindinger   but stavros is out for revenge and kidnaps her  so  whats a kickboxing mercenary to do  quinn looks up yaz and the two travel to rome so they can rescue the woman  kill stavros  save the world and do whatever else the screenplay requires them to do  with crazy  often eyepopping camera work by peter pau and rodmans lite brite locks   double team  should be a mildly enjoyable guilty pleasure  but too much tries to happen in each frame  and the result is a movie that leaves you exhausted rather than exhilarated  the numerous action scenes are loud and headacheinducing and the frenetic pacing never slows down enough for us to care about whats going on in the movie  and much of whats going on is just wacky  theres a whole segment devoted to netsurfing monks that i have yet to figure out  and the climax finds quinn going headtohead with a tiger in the roman coliseum while yaz circles them on a motorcycle  trying to avoid running over land mines and hold on to quinns baby boy  whos in a bomb equipped basket   all this while stavros watches shirtless from the bleachers  did i mention  double team  is strange  when it all comes down  this is just another rarely entertaining formula killathon  albeit one that feels no need to indulge in gratuitous profanity  rodman juices things up with his blatantly vibrant screen persona  though  leading up to a stunt where he kicks an opponent between the legs  but we didnt need  double team  to tell us he could do that  did we  
neg	synopsis  a man whose lover  paris  was murdered agrees to test out an experimental virtual reality home unit system  the subject escapes from the real world and his current girlfriend  laura  and becomes addicted to virtual reality  which  due to a design flaw in his unit  recreates the dead paris  comments  virtual seduction  executive produced by roger corman and lance h  robbins  serves as a cheaplymade precursor to strange days  a far superior film  both movies deal with desperate men who have trouble relating to their current lovers because they are  ab  using technology to be with former lovers  in strange days  the technology utilized recorded dreams rather than virtual reality   interestingly  both films also take place a couple of years from now during the turn of the new millenium  though strange days uses the setting far more effectively  this exemplifies the problem with virtual seduction  its not bad for what it is  lowbudget science fiction concerning the psychological dangers of virtual reality  unfortunately  its been done before and since in much better films  a fact which ultimately leaves the scifi fan bored by this movie  virtual seduction has many faults  one of them is the fact that the video inexplicably has its own trailer before it begins   the films script explores the possibilities of virtual reality interestingly at first  but its treatment of the subject matter gets heavyhanded and wooden as the movie progresses  many important scenes seem too dark  the lighting could have been improved significantly  the cast  a collection of veteran bmovie actors and sitcom regulars  do only a mediocre job in their roles  jeff fahey  of the original lawnmower man  convincingly  though unenergetically  plays the lead character  carrie genzel plays paris  the vr lover  but ami dolenz  as the current love interest  seems like a much more interesting and attractive character with a caring personality  which doesnt lend credence to the films premise  meschach taylor  of the once popular designing women sitcom  adequately plays a scientist working on the project  but his performance isnt something to write home about either  virtual seduction is one of those harmless movies to which you could do some light manual labor and not mind having it on in the background  in other words  one could fold laundry while glancing up at it every now and then  but its rather boring to just sit and watch  the movie is surprisingly not as violent as one expects from bmovies in this genre  but it is still an adult rrated film due to sexual situations and a suicide attempt  this turkey  ultimately  isnt awful  but its not particularly interesting or unique either  dont be seduced into watching this movie unless youve got several loads of laundry and nothing else to watch  
neg	yeah  yeah  the advertisements didnt even try to conceal the fact that this movie had only one hook  sex  neve campbell and starship troopers denise richards getting it on  ok  yeah  its a decent two minutes of film erotica  but even if thats your main interest in this film  theres plenty of cheeziness to sit thru in exchange for those two minutes  wild things does have a lot more to think about than you might expect however  nearly every single scene is a huge plot twist guaranteed to leave you guessing  or at least curious to see the next turn  throughout the entire movie  but this fastpaced  razorsharp turning of events doesnt leave much time to enjoy the surprises  we start off in a highclass california high school where every student resembles a supermodel in the making  guidance counselor sam lombardo  matt dillon  seems to catch the eye of every student  particularly kelly van ryan  richards   daughter of the locally prestigious family whose social status is about as high as their bank accounts  right off the bat  kelly is using every asset she has in an effort to seduce  mr  lombardo   the fundraiser car wash seems the opportune time  particularly when you wash your guidance counselors jeep in all white clothes and take plenty of precautions to insure youll be soaked from head to toe when youre done  on the weekend of the car wash  kellys attempts at seduction fall flat  and when they do  she concocts the tale that sam in fact raped her that day  naturally sam is thrown into a state of panicked shock at these accusations  but the otherwise unsubstantial fabrications soon lead to a criminal trial when a lowclass  marijuana smoking student by the name of suzie toller  campbell  comes forth with a near identical story  also involving her trusted guidance counselor  pitting himself against the communities most respected names and authoritarians  sam must prove his innocence thru the aid of his makeshift defense attorney  ken bowden  played by bill murray  yes  that bill murray  sound like a good  complete movie  yes  that alone could have been  but this is just the beginning  in fact  the trial is over about fifteen or twenty minutes into the film  it is merely used to launch the most twisted story of recent time  by the time the movie finishes  you will have gone thru every plot twist imaginable  unfortunately  with so much going on  youre not given enough time in one predicament to be as effectively shocked when a new twist comes about  this is just one way director john mcnaughton fails to make this movie as fun as it couldve been  the 113 minutes fly by  and although it never feels underdeveloped  this pretzel of storytelling couldve been much more richly realized had a slower pace been taken  the acting is incredibly reminiscent of fox primetime soap operas  which no  is not a good thing  and its not just campbell  who happens to hail from the primetime fox soap  party of five   but everyone suffers from heavily melodramatic overtones  dillon  who was so charming in his understated role in last years in  out  gives the best performance  and murrays surprising appearance adds some comedic flare to the film  in fact  if the whole movie had been promoted as a subtle comedy  even if it was the exact same film  i would actually give it a better grade  thats how cheezy it comes off  but aside from these two  the rest offer nothing more than some good eyefulls  in the right hands  wild things couldve been a wickedly delightful  scrumptiously twisted thriller  but instead we get juvenile overuses of profanity and some very laughable displays of acting  and whats up with these people passing as high school students  i realize hollywood often casts older actors to play teenage roles  but when i realized it wasnt supposed to be a college they were at  i had to snicker  i wont lie  this is definitely a guilty pleasure  as corny as it is  its got some interesting aspects and could deserve at least a  b  for effort  but if you just want to admire denise richards  go for last years starship troopers  which was every bit as campy  but a million times better  of course  if seeing her breasts is your most important goal  youll be right at home with wild things  perhaps the wildest thing of all is that somebody actually looked at this and thought it deserved to be in theaters  
neg	i was recently told that in china their had been strong protests against the release of red corner  and this is apparently because of the way it shows the injustice of many chinese laws  but if you ask me  the real truth of the matter is that the chinese critics association were determined not to punish the population into viewing richard gere running across rooftops in search for a fellow american  or more the point  anyone that allows him to bask in his own lessthansubtle presence  this is not an insult to gere  as i consider him to be a rather talented actor  but more the choice of character and responsibility of his role  if a film is solely about one person  the main actor must give a faultless performance in order for it to really work  although geres performance is in no way poorly acted  it is far from perfect  and i look forward to seeing him star with other talented actors that can reduce the need for him to carry a film by himself  this is where he truly belongs  and if you are reluctant to believe me than look no further that primal fear  with the sensational edward norton   the jackal  with bruce willis  and pretty woman  with the delightful julia roberts   in red corner gere plays classy lawyer jack moore  who is guilty of the same personality traits as his character martin vail in primal fear  bold and up front  who thinks he is three steps ahead of everybody else but is actually two steps behind  it is with invulnerability of both mental and physical kind that the character of moore is portrayed  which left me barracking for the chinese to haul his sorry ass into jail  it doesnt take long from the films beginning for jack moores charm to work on a pretty chinese lady  and in no time they are in bed together in a hotel room  drunk and cheerful  yet instead of a hangover  poor jack finds himself covered in blood and the chinese chick dead on a couch  he is arrested and hauled into a chinese prison  his cell  food and rights  all terrible  now trapped in a foreign land without adequate aid from the american embassy  lawyer shen yuelin  bai ling  defends his case by initially pleading guilty to the charge of murder  jack and shen argue about their countries different laws  shen stating that they will shoot you in the back and charge the cost of the bullet to your family   as the plot thickens  scenes get progressively more ridiculous  ranging from richard gere running over rooftops in search of the us embassy to a scooby doo ending where the least expected butyouknewalong criminal is discovered  red corner is one of those films where you sneer  laugh or vomit youre way through all of its minutes  what should have been a politically taunt thriller is little more than a pointless expedition to see how stressed out richard gere can act  this is not to say that the film does not have its moments  there are some tense court room scenes that are shrewdly created  telling the tale of foreign injustice and government corruption  but what they amount to spoils the effect of having them in the first place  perhaps this is why red corner is so frustrating to watch  if you look at the films overall concept fairly broadly  the basic idea is quite tangible  it is upon the films execution where the diminutive plot twists and developments fail to impress or innovate  the evidence that goes missing  the high powered officials shielding the truth and intolerable love angles have all been done so many times before  if that wasnt bad enough  red corners dialogue is purely laughable on many occasions  shen yuelin attempts to gain sympathy by reciting renaissance of a destitute relationship with her deceased father  whilst jack moore is eager to talk about chinese musical instruments when he could have been working on a plan to free himself  taking itself far too seriously  red corner is not half the film it intends to be  although it would have benefited from the help of a more valuable supporting cast  the films main fault is in the bizarre  and often out of place  way of unfolding a story which isnt that meritorious anyway  whilst richard gere still proves that has what it takes to be known as a decent actor  i would think twice before going to see him attempt to manage such a serious yet hollow drama again  martin vailwhere are you  
neg	not so long ago  men by the names of peckinpah  ford  leone  and eastwood made westerns  real westerns  these were some of the best films of the twentieth century  those days are gone  now we have crap like wild wild west to pass for the western  and that record is not improved with the unbearable tale of american outlaws  outlaws is yet another retelling of the jesse james legend  courtesy of bmovie king james g  robinson  producer of such classics as wrongfully accused and chill factor   delayed since the spring  this version stars the irish hunka hunka burning love colin farrell  the best part of schumachers tigerland  as the badass jesse james  alas  any sense of his character has been left on the ranch  leaving us with only cute chicks like ali larter  minus the whipped cream  to watch  the spin this time around  fresh from serving as southern militiamen in the civil war  jesse james  farrell   his brother frank  gabriel macht   and his pal cole younger  scott caan  lay down their arms and head home to missouri to tend the family farms after the war has ended  but trouble is brewing in their small town of liberty when evil railroad baron thaddeus rains  harris yulin  and his cronies rollin parker  terry oquinn  and allan pinkerton  timothy dalton  demand the boys turn over their lands to the railroads  the jameses and the youngers then join forces to fight the railroad  by robbing banks up and down missouri  thus cutting off the railroads financial surplus and playing robin hood to the local people  along the way  the boys squabble over whos the cutest of the gang  whos the most popular cowboy in the gang  and who ought to go on mtvs total request live  they rob numerous banks with identical interiors  always with the kindest of hearts  strutting in their grungy dusters as moby songs play in the background  the witty banter they share could be plastered within a hallmark card  the biggest disappointment here lies in the acting of colin farrell  after a great job in tigerland  farrell walks through this role easier then nicolas cage in gone in 60 seconds  and his american accent rivals richard geres irish accent in the jackal  combined with feeling like bonanza  the teen years  this homogenized production  toned down to get the everpopular pg13 rating  gives us an invincible jesse james that quickly grows tiresome and boring  the unbearable villains courtesy of timothy dalton and thaddeus rains spend the entire film proclaiming that everyone should be hanged  sucking out any energy left in the film  not to mention  the real story of jesse james and his gang bears no resemblance to the plot of american outlaws  instead  the movie is full of old  outrageous tales about the wild west  tales which went out of style in 5cent magazines about a century ago  
neg	actually  im fairly sure the experience of having my flesh torn and mutilated by barbed wire would have been more positive than watching this movie   baywatch  babe pamela anderson lee proves once and for all that she should keep her doubleds on the small screen  at least there you dont have to pay to see her cleavage  and for those viewers out there who would only lay down money for this movie in hopes of seeing pam topless  hate to burst your bubble  but there are no fullfledged nude scenes in barb wire  you wouldnt be reading this review right now if i had known that fact going in  i cant go back in time and reverse my mistake  but i can warn other horny teenage boys out there  they do tease us a few times with scenes where you almost see her topless but if she is nude  its so quick you cant even tell for sure whether youre seeing her andersons or not  a nipple hallucination sort of thing  barb wire was adapted from a comic book  interesting because pamela is probably the only woman who looks like a comic book character in real life  even wearing lowcut leather to do office work  businesswoman bondage wear  and having unreal body proportions  yes  like the mona lisa  pamela anderson is a manmade beauty  probably in more senses than one  she is a definite beauty  though  and looking at her is never an unpleasant experience  youd just think the woman who began her career as a playboy playmate wouldnt have any reservations about appearing nude in the movie  because its obvious she wasnt pulling a sharon stone and trying to make people pay attention to her acting skills  i mean  she shows off more cleavage here than a jewelers convention  the movie is set in the year 2017   the worst year of my life   pam says    the worst movie of the year   i say   america is going through a second civil war and pamela is a nightclub owner in the only free city in the nation  silicone valley  i think   she also hires herself out as a bounty hunter when the price is right  posing as first a stripper and later as a prostitute  but dont call her  babe   she hates that  and reminds us of that fact way too many times  imagine  a woman who does a trapeze strip tease in a bar while having a hose sprayed on her being referred to in such a sexist  demeaning term  a liberated woman like pamela anderson shouldnt have to hear words like  babe  during a strip tease  especially since that movie about the talking pig was such a success  the plot  haha  revolves around a pair of contact lenses that allow their wearer to pass through the congressional directorates retina scanners  in the words of one of the characters  theyre  more than meets the eye   reminds me of the  transformers  cartoon  and i sure wished the movie could somehow be transformed into something decent  but that never happened  no  the movie just continued on its path of lame action scenes starring pamela vandamme  bigbusted kickboxer  and her resistance accomplices  exboyfriend axel  tamuera morrison  and cora  victoria rowell   thank god they didnt name her cora reef  one bad character name is more than enough  pamela originally doesnt take sides  giving some speech about shes only loyal to the money they pay her  but she changes her mind once the congressional bastards kill her blind brother  jack noseworthy of bon jovi  always  video fame  i still dont know if barb wire is a step up or step down for noseworthy  but he definitely is nose worthy  even if he isnt sponge worthy   pam gets ready to avenge his death by grabbing up an armful of semiautomatic weapons and strapping an ammunitions belt to her chest  its not rambo    its bimbo  mark my words  barb wire will be all over the cinemax network in a year  its got all the elements of the directtovideo releases featured on hbos bastard cousin  the cable channel id never watch if it didnt somehow come free  its got the nontitillating scenes of voyeurism  laughable flashbacks  bad dialogue and action cliches out the wazzoo  theres even a narrator at the beginning setting up the movies premise while the words scroll up the screen  someone needs to tell pamela the wookie this aint star wars  if youve seen any action flick of the past fifteen years  youll recognize plenty of lifted elements  barb wire has the obligatory trucks flipping over  car crashes  explosions  broken glass and slowmotion shots of bodies falling hundreds of feet to their death  this is one of those automaticpilot movies anyone could write or direct  barb wire has only two things going for it    and i think you know what those two things are  
neg	part buddy comedy  part fishoutofwater story  part nature tale  meet the deedles is not nearly as interesting as any of those archetypes  in fact  it is an invitation you ought to disregard  phil and stew deedle  paul walker and steve van wormer  are the twin sons of the famous millionaire  elton deedle  eric braeden   founder of deedle enterprises  elton wants his sons to be the perfect heirs to his fortune    instead the two are careless hawaiian surf bums  to set them straight  he enrolls them into a strict wyoming boot camp  to which the pair inevitably go  after several misadventures in wyoming  where the duo is stunned to discover theres no surf  the brothers deedle stumble upon a routine mistaken identity plot  they arrive at yellowstone national park  where they are believed to be two new park ranger recruits  rather than slinking back home and disappointing their dad  the deedles play along  phil  actually  has other motives  the beautiful park ranger jesse  a  j  langer   who unfortunately happens to be the beloved stepdaughter of the overprotective park ranger captain douglas pine  john ashton   yellowstone has a problem  its only a week before the famous geyser old faithful celebrates its one billionth birthday  and the park is being overrun with prairie dogs  not just one or two    thousands of them  the deedles are assigned to eliminate the p  dog menace  not knowing that it all is part of a fiendish plan by disgraced former head ranger frank slater  dennis hopper   the brothers deedle arent supposed to be outandout stupid  like the team from dumb and dumber  or bill and ted  instead  their brains just operate in a different  simpler  realm  a more accurate comparison would be with carrot top in chairman of the board  a film which  unfortunately  this one resembles in several hideous ways  the central problem with meet the deedles is that it simply just isnt funny  theres a moment when phil utters the line   insert laugh here   which nearly sums up the entire meet the deedles experience  the result isnt bad in a runshriekingfromthetheater type of way  instead  its merely bad in an excruciatingly boring sort of way  the cast seems decent  but theyre never asked to do anything remotely interesting  instead  the film inundates the audience with countless shots of people andor cars rolling downhill in the forest  and with constant annoying references to other disney films  youll have much better luck finding a good spot to surf in wyoming than finding entertainment in meet the deedles  
neg	adam sandler isnt known for appearing in deep  thoughtprovoking films  but hes still a really funny guy  most of his movies are successful not because of the film making behind them  but because they let sandler do what he does best without a stupid plot to drown him out  big daddy is the first film in which the story seems more important than sandlers comic performance  and its a miserable failure  sandler plays a thirtysomething loser who gets attached to an orphaned young boy  played by cole and dylan sprouse   as one might expect from the synopsis  director dennis dugan resorts to the usual bag of manipulative and sentimental sequences  including a repulsive courtroom battle and a lot of teary scenes in which characters say  goodbye  to one another  in addition  theres a ridiculous amount of disgusting toilet humor  urine and vomit both get more screen time than sandler himself   theres a hilarious running joke featuring a female doctor who previously worked at hooters  and the film features passable performances from sandler  joey lauren adams  as the love interest   and the two young boys  but the film on the whole is trite and disappointingly unfunny  
neg	at the end of an action scene in  lara croft  tomb raider   a wall collapses near the nubile warrior  with her face on the floor  she gazes into the rubble  then grins abruptly and says  oh  my car keys   i mention this scene because it was the only moment in the whole damned production that made me smile  based on an incredibly popular video game   lara croft  tomb raider  is a lousy movie  the structure goes like this  poorlystaged action sequence  boring exposition  poorlystaged action sequence  boring exposition  etc  etc   the end  basically  the film exists to showcase angelina jolies puffy lips and enhanced tits  closeups are framed ohsocarefully to include her million dollar bazooms  running scenes highlight her bouncing breasts in vintage  baywatch  fashion  theres even include a shower scene that offers a brief side view of them  but the filmmakers are so inept they cant even flash the audience correctly  the one extended display of nudity is of  get ready for this  a guy  for no particular reason  a muscular supporting character strolls around naked for about 30 seconds  with each shot composed to barely cover his package   la  austin powers   now  i enjoy a good looking male body as much as the next gay guy  but what the hell is beefcake doing in a ta flick aimed at heterosexual males  of course  what else should one expect in a film that does virtually nothing right   tomb raider  sets up elaborate action set pieces  then renders them incomprehensible with needless jump cut editing  a promising dual bungee cord battle is ruined by excessive cuts   it promises a series of exotic locales  then delivers cavernous sets and grimy matte paintings with smoggy skies  throw in some bargain basement computer graphics and you end up with the ugliest movie to come down the pike in many moons  intended to be a rousing  indiana jones  style adventure   tomb raider  lacks any sense of tension  the low point comes when lara is  threatened  by statues of monkey warriors and a giant multiarmed shiva figure that come to life courtesy of cgi  easily the lamest menaces i have ever seen  the creatures move like snails and fall apart with a single shot from a gun  if you ever have to be chased by monsters  pray that you get the monkey warriors   tomb raider  tells a story  sort of  once every 5  000 years  the planets align  a group of very bad men are out to find two halves of an object that  if reassembled just as the planets align  will give them control over time itself  laras goal is to stop them and rescue her longmissing poppa  jon voight  jolies real life dad   none of this matters though  because stunning gaps in internal logic assure that the plot of  lara croft  tomb raider  is as lame as ever other aspect of the film  except angelina jolies lips and breasts  
neg	when robert forster found himself famous again after appearing in  jackie brown   he immediately signed up for a little film called  american perfekt   this was almost two years ago  i waited patiently for the film to be released  but it never was  finally  i forgot about it  the other day  though  while i was perusing the selection of the local video store  i stumbled upon  you guessed it   american perfekt   i immediately rented it and with a certain amount of glee  rushed home to view it  having now seen the film  i understand why it never saw theatrical release   american perfekt  is a jumbled mess  the storyline is nonexistent  it took me half the movie just to figure out what was going on  and at that point  the only thing i really knew for sure was that the movie was  never  going to introduce a plot of some sort  it wants to get by on quirkyness and socalled charm alone  and it just doesnt work  robert forster plays a psychiatrist who picks up amanda plummer  and they head off on the road together  along the way to no discernable destination  they run into all sorts of kooky and wacky characters  i suppose this freewheeling  no plot style is supposed to give the film an element of danger and excitment  but all it did was make me sleepy  im all for trying new things within the realm of film  but not at the expense of coherence  nothing in this movie makes sense  the actions of the characters go unexplained  even when theyre truly bizarre  ill give you an example  without giving too much away  david thewlis has a part as a drifting conman  at one point  midway through the movie  he runs forster and plummer off the road with his car  as he passes them  we see that his face is covered in blood  do you think we would get an explanation as to what happened to him  you would think so  wouldnt you   american perfekt  is a waste of time  nothing is gained from watching this movie  except maybe a migraine  and if you do rent it  dont bother trying to figure out whats going on in the hopes that everything will be resolved by the end  this doesnt happen  and no explanation is given for the misspelling of  perfect   either  
neg	youd think that after awhile hollywood would stop trying to make movies out of video games  it hasnt worked so far   street fighter    super mario brothers    wing commander    mortal kombat   not a watchable film in the bunch  still i held out some hope for  tomb raider   after all  the games premise is heavily influenced by the indiana jones trilogy and all the mummy movies  so there are cinematic elements imbedded in the concept  however  despite the potential of the project   tomb raider  proves to be yet another bomb  the plot is a convoluted accumulation of nonsense probably borrowed from a dozen bad movies  theres a onceever5000years alignment of planets coming up  and the illuminati have to find both halves of an ancient triangle that controls time in order to take over the world  of course  the ancient folks who divided the triangle buried the halves in tombs on opposite sides of the world  our heroine  lady lara croft  angelina jolie   finds the key that opens the tombs in relics that her dead father  jon voight  dug up  she figures that if she gets the triangle  she can bring her dad back from the dead  of course  no one was expecting much of a plot from this movie anyway  in both video games and action movies  the plot is just an excuse for the action sequences  however  the action in  tomb raider  shows little style or originality  theres lots of shooting and some kung fu fightin  but none of it progresses beyond the level of a cheap directtocable flick  the other goofy archeologist flick of the summer   the mummy returns   was much better  it had its flaws  but its action was creative and largescale  since winning her academy award for  girl  interrupted   jolie hasnt taken any projects that would display her acting talents   tomb raider  seems to be more interested in displaying her breasts  so much attention is drawn to them that its a shame theres no oscar for best performance by a wonderbra  while we dont see much of her acting ability  with the exception of a wonderful uppercrust british accent   we do get a hint of jolies less savory side  considering the rumors of incest that hang over jolie and her supposed obsession with death  having lara be obsessed with resurrecting her dead father  and uninterested in any of the living males around her  seems a poor choice  having jolies real life father jon voight play the dead dad makes it even creepier  i havent decided what to make of director simon west yet  his first feature was the starstudded disaster  con air   but my opinion of him improved with  the generals daughter   which was thick with sultry atmosphere  now this train wreck  i hope he improves again because his next project is the big screen version of the cult tv series  the prisoner   hollywood has already screwed up  the avengers   and  the prisoner  represents a chance for redemption   by the way  speaking of british tv   red dwarf  fans should look for chris  rimmer  barrie in his first major film role   
neg	the last of vampirefilms offers plenty of blood and gore  but beyond that  nothing  jack crow  james woods  is a professional vampire slayer that is secretly working for the vatican  his and his mens mission is to clean the earth from vampires  they have lost count of how many vampires they have slaughtered  but one has always escaped them  valek  thomas ian griffith   the dark messias and ruler of the undead that is older than time itself  for all eternity the vampires have searched for their salvation  the black cross  with the cross in their possesion  the vampires will be able to walk in the sunlight  after that it is either the humans or the vampires who will dominate the earth    i have never liked john carpenter and his style  after seeing this film  my opinions have not changed  john carpenter remains john carpenter  however  because of the films selfirony  black humour and fascinating cinematography  i would say that it is his greatest achievement in a long  long time  neither the synopses or carpenters direction are original  but there are some things that are interesting  the directors negative view on the catholic church  for instance  at the end of the film it becomes clear that cardinal alba  maximilian schell  has simply used crow and his team to find valek  so that he would gain eternal life  otherwise the catholic priests are shown cool  drinking  smoking and breaking the rool of celibacy  carpenter has created an interesting atmosphere  set in new mexican dessert  he switches between bright golden sunrises and bloody sundowns  symbolically illustrating the good and the evil through light and darkness  more than anything in this film  this simple illustration shows the battle between good and evil  the cinematography by gary b  kibbe is probably the films greatest achievement  music  composed by john carpenter himself  is at times effective  the special effects and makeup are likewise worth a notice  when it comes to the cast  in an intellectual film like this casting is the last problem  everyone can scream and swing the axe    but here james woods is suprisingly convincing  he is macho and cool as the dedicated hunter  who lost his family to the  breed of evil   woods is constantly overacting  which really saves the film from falling into the trap of serious self importance  daniel baldwin is also entertaining as crows loyal partner  the other cast members are struggling  because the film doesnt take itself too seriously  it stays afloat  still it is like most vampirefilms  a mediocre experience  
neg	im not sure who the genius is who came up with the idea of comparing  disturbing behavior  with  scream   maybe its because theyre both horror films  kinda   both have hot young stars  both have an annoying alternative soundtrack  and both are aimed at the teenage crowd  which i guess includes me  but this is not the next in line with the  scream  flicks as well as the  i know what you did last summer  soon to be flicks  it owes less to  halloween  and more to kafka and orwell  which  in my book  makes for a more interesting feature  and it should have been  this is basically a rehash of  the stepford wives   the great 70s film i never saw starring katherine ross and dealing  as ive been told  with a bunch of women who are programmed to be perfect housewives  or something like that   behavior   starring katie holmes of  dawsons creek   deals with a bunch of teenagers  deep in angst  who are being programmed to be perfect teenagers  suckups  preppies  it actually  at least to me  sounds like it would work  and with scott rosenberg  that witty penmen who has written stuff like  beautiful girls  and  things to do in denver when youre dead   as well as  con air    it actually sounds like it may be pulled off with the right amount of frights and satiric wit  alas  its not  and it plumets into that little group of movies known as  the movies with potential that blow it   i remember a film called  white mans burden  which dealt with a reversal of blacks and whites in society that did nothing with its potentially brilliant premise  heres another one  it could be a brilliant satire on how teenagers need to go through teen angst in order to find themselves  its a stage  and this film does in fact realize that  it gets its message across and it does it effortlessly  now it just needs to work as a film  which it doesnt  its too sloppy and too contrived  it paints a bleak portrait of high school life    then lets it lie  it brings us a bunch of scary monsters who are all a bunch of disgustingly icky kissups who do food drives and hang out at a 50s diner drinking milk shakes    then gives it a cheap twist  when they get horny  they become homicidal  isnt it scary enough that theyre like this  and cant the real terror in the town be that you could be next to be just like them  not that you could be next to die  the film introduces us two three different characters who  in the beginning  are considered outsiders because theyre not  yet  part of this clique  the new kid  steve  james marsden  dull dull dull dull   whos having trouble at home because he hasnt gotten over his brothers  ethan embry  in quick flashes so you dont recognize him  i did  suicide  the renegade girl  rachel  katie holmes  from  dawsons creek    whos chief personality trait is her prominent nose ring  and by far the most interesting kid  gavin  nick stahl  the kid from  the man without a face    whos the most interesting because hes the only character whos given some dimension  in the films best scene  he introduces steve to every single clique  nailing each ones fetishes and hangups  and its the best scene in the movie because its witty  satirical  and interesting  something the rest of this film isnt  gavin suspects theres something awry with the preppie kids  known as the blue ribbons  and in the tradition of all conspirators  and even when he actually shows hard pure evidence to steve  hes only treated as a typical raving conspiracy buff  here  we have another case of  the idiot plot   where not only could steve had done something about gavin and what happens to him  but he may have saved this film from being the dreary  dull film that it is without gavin  who gives it life and humor  the only other halfinteresting character is the school janitor  played by william sadler as a retarded  scary guy who may not be what he seems to be    but really  we dont care anyway  i probably shouldnt mention that this was directed by david nutter  whos works for  the xfiles   because that would probably tarnish his reputation  like the show  hes good at setting up weird conspiracies  and creating a general creepy feel  most of this film is shot at night and with dark eerie shadows for the maximum creepy effect  and some of it works  but what this film is not so good at is coming out with a good payoff  he keeps too much inside  so much that when the characters journey to a mental institution in the third act  you wonder why they just dont get the hell out of there  i think what happens to gavin is proof enough that theres something rotten in the state of teen angstdom  what this film needs to be is a lot longer  a lot more colorful  and a lot creepier  if the best villain they can come up with is a guidance counselor  played by bruce greenwood  an atom egoyan regular obviously just trying to pay the rent  who still thinks he can get away with it even when most is revealed  then they need to come up with a tougher  smarter villain  if hes so villainous  then why could two dense teenagers who couldnt figure out there was something going on until it was way too late find information on him in a couple minutes  the film  which runs about 80 or so minutes  just needs to work on these things  and become a lot less sloppy  at such a short running time and with such lame  boring characters as these  its pretty much obvious that leaving this film leaves a horribly unsatisfied taste in ones mouth  especially mine  
neg	in the interest of being generous  i want to start this review with the scene that i liked in meet joe black  sir anthony hopkins  playing a superrich media mogul  has gathered his family around him for dinner  his oldest daughter  played by marcia gay harden from millers crossing   who has been obsessively planning his sinfully extravagant birthday party  presents him with three superbly decorated little cakes  which are supposed to be scale models for his big birthday cake  the daughter asks hopkins to pick the one he likes  hopkins  frustrated by the weight of planning for the whole elaborate affair  does what any man in his position would do  he punts  whichever one you like  dear  he says  and the daughter does exactly what any woman in her position would do  she cries  i liked that scene for two reasons  first  the cakes looked really cool  second  it was  perhaps  the only scene in the movie where people acted as you would expect people to act  meet joe black is chockfull of odd performances  people doing things for no discernible reason at all  and doing them in slow motion over the course of three hours to boot  its easy to watch meet joe black for the abundant eye candy of the palatial homes and the beauteous claire forlani  but its even easier to sleep right through it  two people on my row managed it quite nicely   the difficult part of the movie is understanding the characters and their motivations and why someone thought three hours was an appropriate length for this overwrought mess  i know my audience had problems with the movie  because they thought it was a comedy  case in point  everyone should know by now that brad pitt plays the angel of death in this movie  however  the first we see of him is as a young lawyer in a coffee shop hitting on the glamorous claire forlani   its not clear from the movie whether you need a law degree to become the angel of death  but it makes a certain kind of sense   it shouldnt take long for the observant moviegoer to realize that bad things are about to happen to mr  pitt  and indeed they do  after a hideously prolonged sequence where pitt looks over his shoulder at the retreating forlani and forlani looks over her shoulder at the retreating pitt   because pitt walks into the road without looking and suddenly gets squished  well  when that happened  the audience howled with laughter  and continued to laugh at every comment that was remotely humorous  so  if you think that sudden violent death and sarcastic drawingroom humor are funny  i encourage you to go see meet joe black immediately  anyway  the deceased lawyers body  no worse the wear from its massive injuries  is possessed by the angel of death and brad pitt takes over that role  the idea is that death  given the pen name of joe black  so as not to disturb others  wants to take a holiday and experience the world  if this werent hollywood  we might get an interesting metaphysical discussion of life and death  but since it is  we get scene after scene of fishoutofwater humor  just as if death is george of the jungle or crocodile dundee or some other poor schmuck whos wandered in from the jungle or the outback or whatever and doesnt know how to act in our society  it also doesnt help that the character of death is written so inconsistently  he claims to be on vacation  but he never does anything except hang around the seriously attractive claire forlani  just try to get your travel agent to book that one   he speaks very slow and halting english but perfectly fluent jamaican patois  he knows everything about some characters  nothing about others  and as played by brad pitt  hes not especially menacing or charming or glamorous or intriguing  hes just there  its as if someone told pitt   never mind about acting in this picture  son  just stand there and look pretty   its as if pitt is doing his keanu reeves impression throughout the movie  ive used the phrase  angel of death  in this review very deliberately to contrast pitts performance with this years best angel performance  nicolas cages in city of angels  where pitt is cold and unfeeling  cage is as warm and empathetic as the situation allows  where cage is genuinely curious about the nature of man  pitt is aloof and arrogant  cage struck instant chemical sparks with costar meg ryan  where the chemistry between pitt and forlani is only understandable if you accept the notion that forlanis character is so shallow that she cant see beyond pitts good looks  the movies other top name is a much better actor  but that doesnt save meet joe black  sir anthony hopkins isnt given much better material to work with  unfortunately  he plays one of these goodhearted multimillionaire media moguls that only exist in hollywood   one wonders what might have happened if they had made hopkinss character more realistically evil   hopkins is marked for death due to a bad ticker  but death steps in and grants him some extra time in exchange for being his guide in the world  of course  no one can be sure of how they will act when death taps on their shoulder  but i have to wonder  and in this movie  you have a very long time to wonder  how you or i would act in a similar situation  especially if you or i were a multimillionaire  hopkins pretty much goes to the office  and the major subplot revolves around who will control the corporation  fans of corporate intrigue will be fascinated  im sure  i stayed awake all the way through meet joe black  and im asking myself why  movies about death should encourage you to live life to the fullest  which is what im going to do now  go spend time with your family  go volunteer for a local charity  heck  go take a nap  dont go see meet joe black  because all it will do is move you three long hours closer to death   curtis edmonds  no children have ever meddled with the republican party and lived to tell about it    sideshow bob 
neg	a cop with a troubled personal life  a ruthless villain  a friend of the cop  a dead friend of the cop  a quest for vengeance  a new partner  a romantic interest  a chase scene  a chase scene in san francisco  a woman in peril  a confrontation  an explosion  the end  yawn  yawn  yawn  the preceding has been the plot of approximately twelve thousand and six action films  this one just happens to be called metro  i have learned to expect little from films like metro  and consequently i am bored by them more often than i am genuinely disappointed  with eddie murphy on board  however  you hope for something extra  some kind of spark  when a film makes watching eddie murphy a tedious experience  you know it is doing something terribly wrong  murphy stars as scott roper  a hostage negotiator for the san francisco police department who is exceedingly good at his job  with his personal life  he is considerably less successful  facing an unhappy exgirlfriend named veronica  carmen ejogo   a gambling problem and a mountain of debt  then his professional life gets a jolt as well when a friend and colleague  art evans  is murdered while investigating suspected jewel thief michael korda  michael wincott   finding korda becomes very personal to scott  and he joins with new partner kevin mccall  michael rappaport  to foil korda during an attempted heist  but all is not well even with korda in jail  as scott  veronica and kevin all continue to face lifethreatening danger  metro  the title  in case you are wondering  means absolutely nothing  is so badly put together that even the most casual viewer may notice the miserable pacing and stray plot threads  in the first place  kordas rage over being discovered before he can make his big score is rendered completely pointless when he proceeds to hit the target anyway  and  incidentally  to screw it up   a reference to payoffs in the police department  followed by a conspicuous decision to keep scott off the korda case and a couple of pointed glances  is dropped abruptly with no resolution after about fortyfive minutes  even the relationship between scott and new partner kevin is so perfunctory  with kevin disappearing entirely after taking a bullet for scott  that you may yearn for bickering buddies  worst of all is a plot structure which places the main villain  the always menacing michael wincott  behind bars for far too long  leaving a lot of time to kill with the tedious reconciliation of scott and veronica  you cant blame murphy for being unable to muster any enthusiasm for the scenes with his bland leading lady  but he should have known better than to take this role at all  scott roper exists in an uncomfortable middle ground between the kind of streetwise fasttalker murphy has built a career on and an actual threedimensional character  and murphy is never able to reconcile the two  the script seems to have been doctored for him  with a gambling problem turned into a bit of character color and his supposed inability to form relationships turned into a cause for gags rather than actual conflict  yet there is still too little comedy for murphy to work with  for much of the film  he walks around with an intense frown  and it is over 90 minutes into metro before you hear that trademark laugh for the first time  murphy is stranded with too few solid punch lines  and nearly all of the ones he does have bounce of ejogo and fall to the ground limply  i suppose i should give director thomas carter credit for taking the obligatory san francisco car chase  how much do you want to bet on the likelihood of seeing a car soar over a hill   and doing a few interesting things with it  as vehicles are sent flying and passengers sent sprawling by a runaway cable car  it is possible at least for a moment to take some pleasure in a goofy spin on a familiar situation  carter does an even better job by taking that old suspense standby  the medicine cabinet mirror which will close to reveal a killer standing behind someone  and using it to defuse tension not once  but twice  the fact that carter was able to demonstrate even that much recognition of cliches  and a willingness to subvert them  makes his involvement in the rest of the disaster that is metro all the more puzzling  an action film like this plods so relentlessly and obviously from point a to point b to point c that you might find yourself shouting out  point c   while theyre still getting to point b  or getting up with the rest of the audience after the big explosion which signals that nothing else of any consequence is going to happen  
neg	can a horror movie truly be called a horror movie if it has no scares  suspense  or even eerie elements  i think not  but thats what children of the corn 666  issacs return wants us to believe  the sixth installment in the horrible  worn out series is by far the worst to date  unlike the other five chapters  children of the corn 666 is a confusing  brainless thriller that takes the psychological horror route rather than slasher horror  but either way  none of these movies are the least bit scary  the film follows hannah  natalie ramsey  a teen looking for her mother in gatlin  nebraska  on the eve of her 21st birthday  what starts out as a daughter in desperate search of her long lost mother turns into the story of hannah being the first daughter of the children of the corn  who roam the cornfields looking for adults to murder  thats about all thats understandable in the film  as after we learn this much  issac  john franklin  who led the children of the corn in a previous chapter  now an older  strange man  is looking for hannah to fulfill his prophecy  and this is supposed to make sense  really  from the start the film is unclear of where its going  not developing any characters or throwing any concrete plot details across the table  constantly introducing new characters without personalities or the slightest hint of an individuality  and sub plots that have nothing to do with what seems to the main focus of the film  the film runs at a short 78 minutes  but it seems to be more in the vicinity of two hours  as the bleak  slow pacing makes children of the corn 666  issacs return excruciatingly boring  plot holes are everywhere in tim sulka and john franklins unbelievably horrible script  as nothing is accomplished or clear when the film reaches its conclusion  everyone and everything involved with children of the corn 666  issacs return  namely writers john franklin and tim sulka  along with director kari skogland  should crawl under a rock  and hope no one sees their horrible work of trash  the bottom line  horrible  horrible  horrible  another attempt to revive this worn out genre falls flat  and whats with that title  the devil has nothing to do whatsoever with this film  lets pray that this is the finale in one of the worst current film series  one of the worst horror films in years  
neg	arnold schwarzenegger has been an icon for action enthusiasts  since the late 80s  but lately his films have been very sloppy and the oneliners are getting worse  its hard seeing arnold as mr  freeze in batman and robin  especially when he says tons of ice jokes  but hey he got 15 million  whats it matter to him  once again arnold has signed to do another expensive blockbuster  that cant compare with the likes of the terminator series  true lies and even eraser  in this so called dark thriller  the devil  gabriel byrne  has come upon earth  to impregnate a woman  robin tunney  which happens every 1000 years  and basically destroy the world  but apparently god has chosen one man  and that one man is jericho cane  arnold himself   with the help of a trusty sidekick  kevin pollack   they will stop at nothing to let the devil take over the world  parts of this are actually so absurd  that they would fit right in with dogma  yes  the film is that weak  but its better than the other blockbuster right now  sleepy hollow   but it makes the world is not enough look like a 4 star film  anyway  this definitely doesnt seem like an arnold movie  it just wasnt the type of film you can see him doing  sure he gave us a few chuckles with his well known oneliners  but he seemed confused as to where his character and the film was going  its understandable  especially when the ending had to be changed according to some sources  aside form that  he still walked through it  much like he has in the past few films  im sorry to say this arnold but maybe these are the end of your action days  speaking of action  where was it in this film  there was hardly any explosions or fights  the devil made a few places explode  but arnold wasnt kicking some devil butt  the ending was changed to make it more spiritual  which undoubtedly ruined the film  i was at least hoping for a cool ending if nothing else occurred  but once again i was let down  i also dont know why the film took so long and cost so much  there was really no super affects at all  unless you consider an invisible devil  who was in it for 5 minutes tops  worth the overpriced budget  the budget should have gone into a better script  where at least audiences could be somewhat entertained instead of facing boredom  its pitiful to see how scripts like these get bought and made into a movie  do they even read these things anymore  it sure doesnt seem like it  thankfully gabriels performance gave some light to this poor film  when he walks down the street searching for robin tunney  you cant help but feel that he looked like a devil  the guy is creepy looking anyway  when its all over  youre just glad its the end of the movie  dont bother to see this  if youre expecting a solid action flick  because its neither solid nor does it have action  its just another movie that we are suckered in to seeing  due to a strategic marketing campaign  save your money and see the world is not enough for an entertaining experience  
neg	i still cant figure out why people went in droves to see this movie  now before you go assuming im some sort of high brow snob  who cant appreciate a little dumb humor  let me say that i love cheap humor  i thought theres something about mary was one of the funniest films that i have ever seen and it was certainly one of the best films of 1998  low brow adolescent humor can be a lot of fun  the problem with the waterboy is that it is just low brow and adolescent  there is no humor component  i wanted to like the waterboy  i really did  i think i only laughed maybe 2 or 3 times throughout the entire movie  actually  i smiled a couple of more times on top of that  not a great record for a 90minute film  the problem with the waterboy is the same as most other adam sandler movies  those responsible for this mess seem to think that the sheer fact that sandler walks around using a goofy voice and playing dumb the entire movie is a substitute for actual funny material  nothing could be further from the truth  as matter of fact  sandlers idiot voice started to get on my nerves at points in this film  its really a shame too  because this film had the potential to be very funny  i personally believe that sandler is probably a very talented comedian  its just that so far he hasnt been able to find the right film to showcase his talents  if his only talent is making goofy voices and playing morons  my guess is that his career in the movies will go down the same road as the vast majority of the former stars of saturday night live  most of whom are now happily no longer in the entertainment industry  sandler plays a 31yearold  somewhat mentally challenged  waterboy for a college football team  the teams somewhat mentally disturbed coach  henry winkler  realizes that his waterboy has a great deal of pentup rage  which  if harnessed properly  would make him a force to be reckoned with on the football field  you can figure out the rest from here  sandler joins the team and this once lowly waterboy becomes a football star  as i said  the film had a great deal of potential  the idea was a decent one  but the main potential of this movie is a result of the cast  all of whom are very good  just hamstrung by really  really  lousy material  even sandler  annoying goofy voice and all  has enough charisma and natural comedic ability to overcome some of his bad material  even as unfunny as his character is  i still found myself rooting for him throughout the film  but it is the supporting cast that i feel most badly about  if their material had been just a bit better  this film could have been such a funny movie  fairuza balk plays sandlers leatherwearing bikerchick love interest and does a great job playing sleazy and sexy at the same time  winkler is great as the coach who uses a  coaching for dummies  style book to help him get through games  the real standout though  is kathy bates  even with some of the worst material of her career to deal with  she is still a treat to watch in her role as sandlers overprotective and overbearing mama  even with the performances of bates and winkler  there is absolutely no way i would recommend this movie  although i get the distinct impression that without them  this film would have ranked in negative numbers for me  which is sad  because i cant really put my finger on a particular element of the movie and single it out as the cause of the disaster that it became  its obvious that those involved  specifically the actors  tried very hard to make what they thought was going to be a funny movie  its just too bad that 99 percent of all of the jokes fell flat  
neg	gordie boggs  arquette  aptly cast as a moron  as he is one  and his best friend sean dawkins  scott caan  the son of james caan should not be reduced to garbage like this   are two losers from wyoming with no jobs and no girlfriends  who look up to world championship wrestling champion jimmy king  a terribly casted oliver platt   as he is everything they are not  they finally get to see him live and he is screwed out of his title by the evil  ruthless promoter titus sinclair  a wasted palitaliano  in a role originally meant for reallife wcw president eric bischoff  whose name was written all over the role    gordie and sean track down king in atlanta and discover that he is not really the english king the wcw writers created for him  but a drunken  ignorant southerner who is as irritated by these two lunkheads as bob newhart was by larry  darryl  and darryl  they sneak him back onto wcw tv  after which sinclair agrees to book him in a steel cage match in las vegas at wcws next payperview  against his rival  diamond dallas page  if he wins  king gets his title and his career back  plus one million dollars  wcw president eric bischoff  knowing his promotion was desperate with bad writing and ratings skyrocketing down thanks to the far superior world wrestling federation  came up with the idea for this movie hoping it would save wcw  he was then fired and rehired two months ago  but by the time hed left  they had already been contracted to do the film  and bischoff could not play sinclair  which  in itself  is for the best  as anybody who has seen him on wcw programming knows that bischoff is no actor    the characters of gordie and sean show you exactly what eric bischoff thinks of his fans  he thinks of them as young  dumb pathetic idiots who will believe anything that will be put out in front of them is real  that is why he doesnt take the fans into consideration when he books a nitro or a payperview  i have news for you  eric  no wrestling fan in this day and age is dumb enough to believe that professional wrestling isnt for show  unless they are four years old  this is 2000  you know  not 1985  bischoff will try to cover up criticism like that by saying it is a comedy  but i have no doubt in my mind that if this had been a dramatic  rockystyle film  which it probably should have been  professional wrestling is ridiculed enough as it is  why should the first wrestling movie in ten years be a comedy    gordie and sean would have been portrayed in the same light  anybody who has seen the documentary wrestling with shadows  documenting wwf owner vince mcmahons doublecrossing of bret hart  will probably realize via the reviews and previews of ready to rumble  that it is basically a ripoff of that films storyline with the poor mans wayne and garth thrown in for comedic affect  you can tell titus sinclair is supposed to poke fun at vince  but any selfrespecting wrestling fan knows that sinclair is more inspired by bischoff than vince  and that vince did what he had to do to bret hart  all of these aspects of the film  needless to say  seriously offended me as a wrestling fan  another thing i found disturbing about the film was the romance between gordie and nitro girl sasha  the lovely rose mcgowan   wouldnt it have been easier to bring something new into the relationship rather than revealing she was only working on gordie at sinclairs insistance  i hate that cliche  the world wrestling federation would have made a better film  they are the promotion everyone cares about  they are winning the ratings  they have better wrestlers  and they take their fans into consideration and dont treat fans like morons  so  vince  how about a movie  
neg	when i arrived in paris in june  1992  i was surprised to find france plastered with posters twin peaks  fire walk with me  since the movie wasnt scheduled to open in the u  s  until late august  happily  the filmthe prequel to david lynchs cult television serieswas playing in a fancy  thx theater  unfortunately  the theater was far more impressive than the movie  which absolutely stinks  much like a french lavatory  worse  actually  fire walk with me  directed by lynch  will be completely incomprehensible to anyone who has not seen the tv series or read  laura palmers secret diary   for  twin peaks  junkies  like me  the movie is only marginally improved  the plot is jumbled and illogical  not to mention excruciatingly sluggish  the first 30 minutes  which have almost nothing to do with the main story line  feature chris isaak and kiefer sutherland as fbi agents investigating a murder in portland  oregon  the movie then stops in philadelphia for a nonsensical cameo by david bowie and a brief appearance by kyle maclachlan as dale cooper  lynch then drops this plot strand altogether and abruptly shifts the setting to twin peaks  washingtonone year later  ah  twin peaks   familiar territory   you think to yourself as angelo badalamentis distinctive musical score chimes in  wrong  the movie proves that you really cant go home again  or at least lynch cant  only about a quarter of the characters from the tv series appear in the movie  leland palmer  bobby briggs  james  shelly  leo  the log lady and a few othersmostly in meaningless cameos  the rest of the  twin peaks  cast is nowhere to be seen  and consequently  lynch fails to recreate the spirit and flavor of tvs most enigmatic town  cast members michael ontkean  sherilyn fenn  piper laurie  and richard beymer are sorely missed  not to mention lara flynn boyle  who has been replaced by lackluster moira kelly in the crucial role of donna  the movie concentrates solely on laura palmer  sheryl lee  as she suffers through drug abuse  prostitution  and incest  during her miserable last seven days on earth  the night of lauras death  which is truly terrifying  is the films only remotely effective sequence  we finally get to see exactly what happened to laura after she jumped off james motorcycle and ran into the woods at that lonely traffic light in the middle of nowhere  her murder unfolds just as agent cooper reconstructed it in the tv series  which is gratifying for faithful  twin peaks  viewers  but its an awfully small reward for sitting through a painfully awful movie  
neg	capsule  this superlight situation comedy from sweden tells the story of two close friends with romantic problems  the script involves formerly taboo subjects like erotic toys and sexual enhancers but otherwise the writing is not a lot different from what is shown free on television  the characters are paperthin and the interesting ideas purely nonexistent  this is a decrementlifeby90minutes card   0  4 to 4  jalla  jalla  is basically an exuberant tv situation comedy written instead for the wide screen  it tells the story of two park custodians and the problems they are finding on the path to true love  the film is set in sweden where roro and mans  fares fares and torkel petersson  are custodians at a public park  roro is from a tightly knit lebanese family who control him very closely  mans is a swede from a much more liberal background  they spend most of the day in the bushes at their park  cleaning up after dogs  roro and mans each have girlfriends  but each has a problem  roro  nicknamed  jalla   is having family problems  it seems that his family wants to arrange a marriage between him and a nice lebanese woman  yasmin  laleh pourkarim   but he is already in love with lisa  tuva novotny   yasmin likes roro  but does not want to get married either  mans on the other hand has been having a problem of sexual impotence  the two friends worry about their problems and discuss the problems with each other  mans thinks the answer to his problem is to purchase sexual enhancers  the one catch is that he is too shy to go in and buy them  roro and yasmin decide to give themselves some time by telling the families that they want to marry each other  but then plan to break up before the wedding  not too surprisingly neither finds that his idea works out the way he quite expected  the plot turns in several places are contrived  one knows fairly quickly that if things are going to work our happily for everybody certain plot contrivances have to happen  lebaneseborn josef fares who wrote and directed is perhaps a better director than he is a writer  when things start to get slow  he just adds throws in another story  for example halfway into the film mans innocently antagonizes some local toughs and a long chase is added to the film  characterization is a little better with roro than it is with mans who does not seem to have a whole lot more personality beyond fear for losing a biological function  we do see some of roros family life and his concerns  that may be because roros background is a lot like that of the director  while the story was entertaining  i did not feel that i got anything worthwhile from the film  it was just a way to pass about an hour and a half in my life  one does not have to go to the movies to see entertainment like this  i rate it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	remember tom cruise and brian brown as rival bartenders juggling bottles of booze in  cocktail   remember how stupid that looked  and remember the scantilyclad dancers of  flashdance  getting doused with buckets of water  well   coyote ugly  does those films five better  or six better if you count john goodman   since here we have piper perado  maria bello  tyra banks  melanie lynskey  and izabella miko doing the absolut spinning and jiggling thing while pouring pitchers of perrier all over their seminaked torsos  no  goodman doesnt flip jim beams or wear anything particularly risqu  in the film but he  does  get up on the bar and start gyrating with the rest of them  and the central characters love interest  played by an australian actor named adam garcia  proves  he  can get up on that bar and start shimmying along with the rest of them too  what seems to have started life as a victorias secret photo shoot quickly deteriorates into one heck of an embarrassing movie  violet  perado  is a south amboy hopeful who tries to make it big as a songwriter  not a welder  in new jack city  as na  ve as they come  shes fobbed off by music producers receptionists by the scornful and has her apartment robbed hours after touching down in chinatown  and  like her mother before her  she gets stage fright whenever she tries to do the open mike night thing  when she sees a trio of babealicious barkeeps thumbing through a stack of 20s in an allnight diner  violet simply has to check out this bar they call coyote ugly  lil  bello   the nononsense owner  agrees to give violet an audition but violet blows it  still  lil gives violet another chance  a riot breaks out  riots are the order of the day at uglys  since the staff are relentless in flaunting their sexual wares  flambeeing the bar  and soaking the patrons with diet spritethis is certifiable behavior in case i didnt mention it  but violet successfully subdues the crowd by singing along to blondies  one way or another  on the jukebox  shes hired  and cured  since this little episode gives her the confidence to sing in an amateur talent contest where her dad  goodman   the junk foodeating  laundryimpaired toll collector  comes to see her and is as proud as punch  the end  
neg	confucius once said   governing a nation is like cooking a small fish  dont overdo it   his maxim might be easily applied to writing a comedy script  for quantity over quality is one of the worst mistakes an amateur scribe can make  granted  mike judge  writerdirector of the workplace satire office space isnt exactly an amateur  his most infamous work  the mtv series  beavis and butthead  was pure gold for its network   but unfailingly  judge manages to make some rather inexcusable mistakes in office space by spreading an iffy plot over too much ground  the iffiness in judges plot  a group of coworkers plan the downfall of their despicable boss  is not in its appeal  in fact  based on the popularity of scott adams cartoon  dilbert   which will soon have its own television series  a satirical view of the american workplace is a hot item in hollywood  unfortunately the concept lends itself to skitlength sequences which would be more at home on the set of  saturday night live  rather than a fulllength feature  the most convincing evidence of this are the trailers for office space  which feature almost all of the movies top content  this leaves the actual picture appearing very deflated  other evidence of office spaces failure to work are its lack of good jokes  the comedy is marginally funny at best  but not enough to get a packed house of theatergoers to laugh out loud  the material in the movie is onkey for an older demographic than judge is used to targeting  and this could partially explain his work here  however  the movie is loaded with too many misfires  including the token plot  to allow for any excuse  the plot centers around three or four cubicled engineers  headed up by peter gibbons  ron livingston   at a company named initech  after the movie elaborately establishes the miserable working conditions at initech  the movie introduces us to two consultants  john c  mcginley and paul willson  which are in charge of  downsizing  the companys payroll  when peter and his gang learns of this  as well as the reason behind it  so their smooth talking boss bill lumbergh  gary cole  s stock will go up  they set about creating a plan to see his downfall  the circumstances that follow were obviously intended to be hilarious but they come out as anything but  a sympathetic cast and a muddled jennifer anistonasloveinterest subplot are all that keep this one together  but its definitely missable in lieu of something more intelligent  
neg	it seemed like the perfect concept  what better for the farrelly brothers  famous for writing and directing comedies with offensive subject matter  than to make a movie about a guy with a split personality  its exactly the sort of thing the brothers relish  poking fun at something serious  in this case mental illness   throwing all care to the wind to get a laugh  jim carreys signed on too  even better  the national alliance for the mentally ill even helped out by levying complaints against the brothers new film before its opening  claiming it was misrepresenting the condition of split personality  labeling it incorrectly as  schizophrenia   and so forth  such a protest seemed like just the sort of thing that would  of course  only add more fuel to the farrelly brothers fire  proving that some people just couldnt take a joke  and that the farrellys would be helping the more enlightened viewers to yet another dose of their brilliantly subversive comedy  yes  it all seemed perfect  but one thing went wrong  their movie isnt funny  its not for lack of trying  the farrellys utilize in  me  myself  irene  their most highconcept premise ever  carrey plays charlie baileygaites  a man who after being dumped by his wife for a midget limo driver  decides to bury all his aggressive feelings deep down inside and never release them  this  of course  means all his neighbors exploit his entirely tooforgiving nature  making his job as a rhode island state trooper increasingly difficult  soon enough  charlies repressed aggression manifests itself into a second  independent personality named hank  a deepvoiced  boorish ogre unafraid of taking the assertive actions his predecessor had been unable to muster  this guy isnt above crashing a car through the wall of the barber shop in which hes been insulted  or holding a little girls head underwater because she refused to stop jumproping in the street  then things start getting lost in the most complicated plot the farrellys have ever attempted  and the film runs off its tracks  some have suggested that this isnt a problem  because the farrelly brothers brand of humor doesnt require plot to work  theyre wrong  of course  plot was greatly instrumental in building up the kind of rollicking comic energy that infused the farrellys last effort  1996s  theres something about mary    1999s  outside providence  was technically an earlier project   the brothers earlier film wasnt funny merely because it contained outrageous gags  despite what some newsmagazine articles would have you believe   but rather because its most outrageous gags were entirely unexpected  in  mary   the farrellys managed several times to pull off a neat sleightofhand trick  theyd have you thinking the story was going one way  then reveal its real direction in delightfully surprising fashion   me  myself  irene   by contrast  seems to have been made by folks who looked at  mary  and saw only the surface grossness  missing all of the subtle machinations that really made it work  having been produced by the same guys who made  mary    irene  seems like an even bigger disappointment  the brothers pile on the offensive humor  taking shots at race  midgets  albinos  mental illness  and all manner of bathroom jokes  but they havent come up with a way to make any of it fresh  most of  me  myself  irene  comes off as rote  bythenumbers  adolescent comedy  the plot  with carrey forced to drive alleged fugitive irene p  waters  renee zellweger   whos in more trouble than anyone knows  back to new york  has an ending thats entirely predictable from the getgo   think charlie and irene will fall in love  yeah  me too   the farrellys then introduce scores of different characters  and none of them ever manage to do anything you havent already expected them to do  no matter how outrageous their actions might be  compared to the curveballs the farrellys are used to throwing  this stuff is almost entirely softtossed  presenting an obvious problem  when grossout humor loses its shock value  its no longer funny  merely gross  the jokes that do work are milked over and over until their effectiveness runs dry  take  for example  the subplot involving charlies three black sons  anthony anderson  mongo brownlee  jerod mixon   the incongruity of it all is funny for a while  with three burly black men discussing higher math in ghetto language and whitebread carrey mouthing said language with an entirely toopleasant smile on his face  but by the end of the film  theyre still doing the same schitck  it hasnt been elevated to another  funnier level  and it hasnt been dropped either  thats too bad  because it ceases to be amusing about halfway through   me  myself  irene  reeks of wasted opportunities  there ought to be more focus on how other people react to charlies new personality  and on how charlie deals with the consequences of hanks actions  this doesnt really happen  nearly every supporting character learns about charlies condition early on  so they dont have any opportunity to be surprised by it  the film throws what looks like a patented farrelly curve in a scene towards the midway point  involving an albino companion charlie and irene pick up called  appropriately   whitey    but the script doesnt go anywhere with it  instead leaving the thread twisting in the wind before awkwardly tying it up during the climax  jim carrey is a gifted comedian  both physically and vocally  but hes left with nothing much to do here except contort himself in a manner similar to steve martin in  all of me   its a great showcase of flexibility and splitsecond roleshifting  but none of it is terribly funny  carrey doesnt pull any stunts we dont expect him to pull  and the farrellys script doesnt give him anything else to pull  the situations in which he must perform the roleshifting arent set up in any meaningful way  perhaps carrey can take solace in the fact that his supporting actors fare no better  zellwegers irene is not a strong female lead  mary in  mary  may have been part adolescent fantasy  but she was also intelligent and strongwilled  irene is nothing in particular  as the film never makes clear whether shes ditzy  clever  or neither  as such  she gives us nothing to latch onto as the only  sane  person in the film  chris cooper is stuck playing exactly one note as a corrupt fbi agent  and his character is entirely too straightlaced for a movie like this  he  like the others  does absolutely nothing unexpected  after viewing the shapeless mess that  me  myself  irene  eventually dissolved into  i was stuck wondering whether or not the farrellys had outsmarted themselves  maybe their kind of comedy can only work for so long until audiences get wise to it and stop being shocked  but i dont believe it  good filmmakers find ways of surprising their audiences even after people have grown attuned to their style  if the farrellys are indeed good  smart filmmakers  and i still think they are   theyll rebound just fine  even after that happens  though  ill still consider  me  myself  irene  to be a highcaliber misfire  
neg	theres a scene somewhere in this film where one of the characters reads the book  screenwriting made easy   this is funny the first time just cause it is  but funnier as the film goes on since its totally ironic since the screenwriters of this inane film probably read it  outlined it and then wrote this film  its like they took the subgenre of the disaster pic  which can be fun and hokey at the same time  and then forgot one of the greatest parts of them  the stupid  eccentric characters  yes   the poseidon adventure  is crap  but its fun cause of all the stupid  eccentric characters  and  earthquake   my god   earthquake  has got to be one of the worst movies of all time  but at least they had the joke of having charlton heston sleeping with genevieve bujold   volcano  takes a semiintriguing yet stupendously inane plot  a volcano no one knew about suddenly errupts one fine morning and then erupts again later then stops    only its in  dare i say it  l  a     and then puts no stupid  stereotypical  eccentric characters in it  theyre just stupid  and the actors are all good ones  tommy lee jones is great  an oscar winner  and a member of the men in black  my vote for what should be the coolest movie of the summer   anne heche is a good indy actress  don cheadle stole the disappointing  devil in a blue dress  from denzels feet  and gabys one of the few good teenage actors  but they get nothing to do but act dumb and scream at whats going on  they do their best  god bless them  but theyre all lost in the fake magma  only don cheadle gets an interesting part and hes the greatest part of the film   theres no real suspense here cause you dont care about anyone  i actually was rooting for gabys character to get killed so tommy lee jones wouldnt have to keep saving her  he did it like thirty times    and there are no interesting sites in l  a  that we see get destroyed  part of the fun of disaster films is watching sites get toppled or destroyed or whatever  in  independence day   the best part  other than judd hirsch  was watching the white house and empire state building get blown up by the aliens  that was cool  watching really fakelooking magma plow down the street is not  okay  so the films not devoid of merit  as i already stated  don cheadle was great and the cast does their best  and theres this really moronic scene which looks cool  john carrol lynch  norm from  fargo   goes on a subway car to save people but the lava comes and surrounds it  he has one guy whos wounded and could make it  he could throw the guy and jump and still survive  but no    he has to go and inanely jump and land right in the middle of the lava  heres the cool sight  he melts  heres the dumb part of it  he somehow manages to throw the man to safety as his legs are melting  cool sight  no logic  but cool sight  the volcano erupts twice and for some reason  the film ends there  they arent worried about it eruting again  they just go home to their toppled homes  but to tell the truth  i was glad they didnt go on  i was hoping the film was over after the first eruption ended  my god  it was actually painful to sit through this little 102 minute long film  i havent seen  dantes peak  but ive heard its a masterpiece compared to this  if you want to see a cool disaster flick thats inane but interesting  rent  the towering inferno  with steve mcqueen  paul newman  and the schweppervescent o  j  simpson  he saves a cat   if you want to waste your time watching a boring  stupid disaster flick  literally  it almost grossed half of its budget   see this  but i warned you  
neg	the yettobereleased krippendorfs tribe is being marketed as a family comedy  but buyer beware  this movie cant make up its mind  is it a family comedy with vulgar references to both the male and female bodies  menstruation  circumcision  and sex that would make any parents squirm at the thought of having their child next to them  or is it an adult comedy approached with such immaturity that only adolescents will appreciate the effort  either way   unbalanced  is the word to stamp on this hit and miss and miss and miss effort  the premise is catchy  widowed anthropology professor james krippendorf  richard dreyfuss  has spent the past two years  getting over  the death of his wife  neglecting key research and squandering grant money on personal living expenses  now its time to show what hes achieved in those two years  and he has absolutely nothing to show for it  with a fabricated tale of studying a previously undiscovered tribe in new guinea  krippendorf petitions for new funds while hiding the fact that the previous 100  000 grant was spent on trips to mcdonalds  but when his  discovery  becomes the latest craze among colleagues  the professor finds he must do more than talk about the tribe  he must create it  with the aid of his three children  the headstrong teen shelly  natasha lyonne of everyone says i love you   the slightly younger mickey  gregory smith   and the nineyearold edmund  carl michael lindner   the  shelmikedmu  tribe  named from the first half of each childs name  is born  and videos quickly produced in krippendorfs backyard are passed off as stunning documentary footage of the newly found new guinea tribe  despite the professors wishes  the buzz surrounding his discovery only grows  due in greatest part to veronica micelli  jenna elfman   an overly vivacious  and voluptuous  anthropologist who barges her way into the discovery and basically deems herself krippendorfs main assistant  hungry for recognition  micelli sets up interviews  lectures  etc  in an effort to make this the biggest sociological event in history  a sure fire way to go down in the history books  krippendorf  on the other hand  is seeing himself go down a jail cell corridor  not in history books  and with each new lecture  he must come up with something impressive to unleash about the tribe  mating habits  domestic structure  etc  thru fumbling improvisation  and often some quick thinking from his oldest son  krippendorf makes it thru each new lecture  but only creates more and more interest in the highly unique tribe  on the opposing end is krippendorfs arch rival  ruth allen  lily tomlin   an arrogant professor whose jealousy drives her on a mission to disprove the existance of the nonexistent tribe  its a cute idea  and approached with a more subtle  and mature  style  krippendorfs tribe couldve been a real winner  sadly  the mostlymisfired toilet humor  overly comical musical score  by bruce broughton   and sugar coated sentiments  all the key ingredients of a  family comedy   just arent the right tone for this film  cut that crap out  add some razor sharp dialogue and witty sociological perceptions and youve got a good start  at the state its in now  youve got something along the lines of medicine man meets mrs  doubtfire meets dumb  dumber  and thats not a concoction anyone should be overly anxious to try  the overall product here is a highly forgettable cup of  average   with a few laughoutloud moments and a great big gap in between them  most of the characters are surprisingly twodimensional  and the only one who seems to exhibit any real acting effort  lyonne  seems to go greatly unappreciated  director todd holland has gone about making this film in all the wrong ways  its stuck in limbo between disney family fare  jungle 2 jungle  and potentially hilarious adult comedy  a fish called wanda   its this unbalanced structure that really knocks it down a grade  and its a brutal drop  a strong warning to parents  forget the impression given by advertisements  do you want to take your kids to a film that has a woman asking a man if he finds her attractive merely because shes holding his penis  yes  its put that bluntly  just be warned  this is merely one example of the many shocking subjects to be brought up in the film  and others might not be as tame  
neg	its been hours since i returned from the much anticipated scifi opus mission to mars  and i can still detect the reek of moldy cheddar  why  the movie is a shoddy cheesefest full of digital eye candy  stapled carelessly onto a flimsy screenplay which somehow manages to leapfrog the great promise of a space opera  instead shooting for the angle of a feelgood science fiction drama more akin to 2001  a space odyssey  i got the feeling that most of my fellow moviegoing patrons were expecting another armageddon  but no  mission to mars certainly isnt one large action sequence about colossal disaster  this is a supposedly thoughtful  familyfriendly space flick in which the apocalyptic excitement takes a back seat to visual elegance and uplifting drivel  you have been warned  of course  crafting a tightly claustrophobic space drama is not impossible  see apollo 13 for an excellent example   but few directors possess the skill and craftsmanship to pull it off without seriously scarring their reputation  brian de palma has enough directorial expertise and visual wizardry up his sleeve to pull it off  when he gets his hands on an intelligent  systematically practical script like the untouchables or mission  impossible  the director has the ability to create a sound technical achievement  although his overly indulgent style becomes bothersome more than occasionally   of course  theres also the inexcusable string of crap that has carried his name  including snake eyes and the notorious bomb the bonfire of the vanities      all of which makes me want to call de palma the most talented hack in hollywood  that term may be too harsh  but if i were judging him solely on the perpetual waste of talent that is mission to mars  my choice of words would have been slightly less lenient  if i were gary sinise  i wouldnt touch de palma with a 10foot pole  sinise is a wonderful  wonderful actor  but after appearing in snake eyes and this vomitinducing sham  im sure he wouldnt want to risk the embarrassment of a third collaboration  the academy awardwinner plays nasa astronaut jim mcconnell  a man who recently lost his wife  kim delaney  and is apparently psychologically unfit for an upcoming space shuttle mission to mars  oops  forgot to mention the year  2020   after a barbecue gettogether for the astronauts  we cut to luc goddard  don cheadle  and his team  who are already taking measurements and calculations on the red planet  suddenly  a towering formation of rocks and soil  probably best dubbed a sand tornado  appears and creates a whirlwind of suction  for some reason  the astronauts just stand there calmly to admire this  as if it were a lovely piece of art  the team is killed within seconds  expect for luc  who was able to send one final transmission and may still be alive  immediately  a second mission  consisting of astronauts mcconnell  husband and wife woody and terri blake  tim robbins and connie nielsen  and phil ohlmyer  jerry oconnell   are dispatched to rescue luc and discover the mysterious secret of planet mars  lets put the secret on hold for now  and discuss the trip there  it is explained  whether scientifically accurate or not  probably not   that a trip to mars takes roughly six months  im not sure why the quartet of screenwriters behind m2m didnt capitalize on this juicy opportunity of creating tension and claustrophobia  instead  we join the team during their final days aboard the ship  what happened during the five months prior to this  did they just play cards and tell dirty jokes  still  there are few nicely tense moments  maybe the only in the movie  during the timeframe involving a fuel leak  depalmas direction is quite good in these scenes  although the score by ennio morricone is largely inconsistent  organ music in space  cmon   theres a few good  imaginative ideas in the landslide of cheese  a sad realization that causes me to sigh out loud  its a colossal bummer that mission to mars is poorly assembled and laughably written  with a dubious and supremely silly finale that will only satisfy dedicated optimists  as mentioned before  anyone looking for some disastermovie carnage is going to feel savagely disappointed    maybe even cheated  after the unbelievably hokey final shot  with the words  the end somehow adding insult to injury   a few audience members made the effort to boo and hiss at the screen  others muttered obscenities  shaking their heads in disbelief while mumbling jeez  that sucked   okay  it did suck  but you have to show the actors some sympathetic mercy    after all  they do pretty well  sinise is sincere and effective in many of his scenes  robbins and nielsen wholeheartedly convince as a loving nasa couple  and funnyman oconnell  well  he has a couple lines are actually amusing  and intentionally so   the digital effects accompanying the sand tornado sequence are quite impressive  so  by golly  where did this mission go wrong  looking back on the appalling experience  i would say in practically every conduit and crevasse it could have  while watching mission to mars  my suggestion would be to immediately abort  or better yet  dont even strap yourself in for liftoff  
neg	despite its exceedingly welldone visual effects  1995s original species was one big hunk of scifi cheese  from the writing to the feeble performances  so  coming from such bgrade roots  its sequels stunning ineptitude is not terribly surprising  yet at the same time it is  it would not have been difficult at all for the people behind species ii to top the hokey original  yet they have somehow managed to fabricate something just as bad  if not even worse  something is clearly amiss when the back door left open for a sequel in speciesa sewer rat becomes not quite of this earth after eating a body part from the exploded alienhuman hybrid silis never entered into  perhaps that was left for species iiithough im not giving away anything when i say that this installment has an open back door of its own   the alien fun and games begin this time when a threeperson astronaut crew returning from mars inadvertently carries within their soil samples deadly alien dna that eventually infects the mission captain  patrick ross  justin lazard  late of cbss shortlived soap of a few years back  central park westcpw   this alien dna is not identical to that which created the original films sil  but its close enough  and upon arrival on earth patrick is mating like crazy  engaging in bloody sex with just about every woman he can find  meanwhile  scientist dr  laura baker  the returning marg helgenberger  has created a clone of sil named eve  natasha henstridge again  for research purposes  it doesnt take long for eve to sense another alien presence  which send her libido into hyperdrive  its up to laura and her former partner  bounty hunter press lennox  michael madsen  another returnee   and patricks uninfected shipmate dennis gamble  mykelti williamson  to find patrick before the inheat eve does   this isnt the xfiles  goddammit   exclaims one character in the early going  in terms of quality  hes absolutely right  but hes also wrong  the new alien first appears as an otherworldly oozing sludge that causes patricks pupils to dilate once hes infected  looks and sounds an awful lot like the xfiless  black cancer  to me  but thats not the only source director peter medak and writer chris brancato steal from  species was already a ripoff of alien  but medak makes the cribbing much more blatant than the originals director  roger donaldson  did  human patrick is given a tongue that also has a tongue within itself  and his alien form more closely resembles the alien than eves alien body  which ironically was designed by alien designer h  r  giger   a large alien hive that our heros douse with a substance fired from large guns  aliens sans flamethrowers  the visual effects were by far the best thing about species  and the sequels effects crew at steve johnsons xfx inc  keeps that highquality tradition alive  no cheaplooking lost in space cgi here  after the effects  the originals best asset was the fresh presence of henstridge  however  medak and brancato have no idea what exactly to do with her for this installment  at one point shes called on to play alien  empath   la forest whitaker in the original  but for most of the duration shes holed up in a glass cell  by the time the big breakout so prominently featured in the trailer actually takes place  the film is well into its home stretch  so the rest of the time we are treated to patrick  played with little zest by lazard  one problem with the first film was that the deadly  horny  but innocentatheart sil was too sympathetic  no such problem with patrick  who comes off as a cocky pretty boy before the alien takes control  the rest of the cast also fails to add much  but the writing can be faulted for that  helgenberger and madsen go through the motions  but they are already hampered by the clich  d development that somewhere between the two films  the oncelinked laura and press stopped getting along  williamson suffers the worst indignity  he tries his best to enliven the token africanamerican role  but how can anyone recite insulting  derivative lines such as  im gonna get african on someones ass  and not appear ridiculous  but species iis worst crime is being a thoroughly uninteresting piece of work  at least the original featured plenty to laugh atunaccountably awful performances by the otherwise fine actors ben kingsley and whitaker  and the sight of helgenbergers character performing fellatio on madsens  for a start  but the filmmakers do not display any discernable effort at all  let alone the misguided effort that is required for something to reach the camp level  for all the blood and gore  nudity  and sex thrown in  species ii is  quite simply  a vapid bore  
neg	the marvelous british actor derek jacobi stars in writer and director john mayburys love is the devil about the popular modern artist francis bacon  as always  jacobis acting is impeccable  but the movie tries hard and succeeds at being unentertaining and opaque  the movie convincingly argues that francis  played by jacobi  was a completely despicable and vain individual  but it never provides any insight into his work or any motivation for his attitude  when interviewed by a fawning talk show host  francis calls his style  chance brushstrokes   starting with a burglary of franciss flat  the film uses loud sound effects that sound like they were lifted from a cheap horror movie  the camera shots are heavy on the avantgarde angles  lots of wideangle closeups and distorted shots filmed through coloredglass reflections  the director is much more interested in filmmaking style than in the substance of the story with the result being a sterile examination of a lonely and vain man  daniel craig  in a lifeless performance  plays the burglar and boxer  george dyer  when francis lays eyes on him after the breakin  francis promises not to call the police if hell stay for sex  he stays for the entire movie but never respects the man with whom he shares a bed  he thinks that franciss paintings have  no bloody use   and the movie presents no counterargument  writer maybury barely outlines franciss character  and george and the rest of the supporting cast remain a complete enigma  we learn little of george other than franciss reason for liking him  georges  amorality and innocence   franciss love of sadomasochism is shown early and often   boxing is such a marvelous aperitif for sex   he reflects to george on the way to watch a boxing match  as the fighters head is sliced open with a heavy blow  the camera cuts to a gleeful francis whose own head is soaked by the flying blood  francis appears to be in complete ecstasy  another of franciss favorite activities is viewing old movies of atrocities  as the carnage mounts  we witness an orgasmically happy francis in the audience  in a film that tries obsessively to shock  one dream sequence portrays a family in a car accident  franciss mind slowly examines every bloody limb of the mother  the father  and the boy  sometimes the script throws us tidbits of franciss wisdom which illuminate little while merely sounding insightful    im optimistic by nature  im optimistic about nothing    loneliness is my only true companion    we learn more details about franciss makeup techniques than about the man himself  he prefers shoe polish for his hair and sink cleaning powder for his teeth  full of metaphorical interpretations  the films best scene occurs late one night when george has to get up to go to the bathroom  mistaking franciss picture of a toilet for the genuine article  he urinates on it and then crawls back into bed contentedly  like a parody of a bad art house movie  love is the devil has horrid characters filmed bizarrely and confusingly by a director who is much more interested in technique than storytelling  by the end  the audience hasnt learned any more than it could have in a threeminute sketch  love is the devil runs 1  30  the film is not rated but should be considered nc17 for violence  profanity  graphic sex  nudity and sadomasochism and is unacceptable for most teenagers  
neg	 payback   brian helgelands inauspicious directing debut  coincidentally  he previously penned the awardwinning screenplay for 1997s  l  a  confidential    is a wildly uneven and thoroughly unpleasant revenge thriller that takes one ideaa movie with nonstop violence  death  and villainsand runs with it  or should i say  barely manages to crawl away with it  mel gibson  in yet another disappointing picture   conspiracy theory  and  lethal weapon 4   anyone    stars as the reprehensible villainhero  porter  a man who becomes determined to get his 50 share of 140  000  which he stole in a robbery  back when his partnerincrime  gregg henry  and drugaddicted wife  deborah kara unger  doublecross him  shoot him  and leave him for dead  porter is not dead  howevernot by a long shotas he quickly rehabilitates and  along with his loyal prositute girlfriend  rosie  maria bello   sets out to make everyone involved in the scam pay  the tagline for  payback  is   get ready to root for the bad guy   and sure enough  this is true  as pretty much every significant character who appears is crooked in some way  i wouldnt have a problem with this offbeat detail if the painfully thin story had been of any interest  but it wasnt  and therefore  i found myself having an especially laborious time investing myself into a wide array of character that have absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever  no attempt is made to flesh the roles into threedimensional characters  and there are no vacant signs that anyone has any sort of humanity in them  just because the protagonist  a  bad guy   is played by mel gibson doesnt mean i will  root for him   and i didnt  quite the contrary  every person in the movie deserved to die a gory death  although some of them did  anyway  just to spice up the dull proceedings   since none of the respectable actors in  payback  actually have human beings to play  only one performance managed to stand out  lucy alexis liu  of t  v  s  ally mcbeal    who plays a spicy sm dominatrix  brightens up every scene she is in  and has a definite flair for comedy  something i would have liked to have seen more of  since most of the humor fell with a resounding splat  meanwhile  gibson  who is perfectly fine here  sleepwalks through a role that is not the least bit challenging  unger  who made an impression in 1997s  the game   is surprisingly wasted and it is difficult to see why she took such a part since she disappears ten minutes in  and only has two purproses   1  to get high on heroin  and  2  because she plays a key part in an early flashback  finally  kris kristofferson appears in a throwaway role during the climax  and this unnecessary plot development sticks out like a sore thumb  tellingly  he didnt appear in the original cut of the film  but was cast when extensive reshoots took place months later   like most action movies  the star often takes a licking but keeps on ticking  in the course of the 102minute running time of  payback   porter is shot three times in the back  hit by a van  beaten up  and has his feet smashed with a sledgehammer  and guess what  not only does he survive the whole ordeal  but he is happygolucky in the penultimate sequence  and can still walk    even though he looks like he had recently substituted for a punching bag   payback  is not  in any way  an entertaining film  even though i am sure the makers hoped it would be with all the graphic carnage that goes on  but take away that violence and what you are basically left with is a blank screen  perhaps director helgeland would have been smart to consider this  so he could have at least added a few worthwhile elements  like a fresh storyline and characters whom you could even remotely stand to be around for a few hours  
neg	did i do something bad  i must have  because sitting through this movie was sheer punishment  heres the plot  ricky  jeff goldblum  is producer of the goodbuy network  one of those 24hour home shopping channels  the new boss  robert loggia  plans to can rickys behind if he doesnt turn the previous months flat sales numbers around  and to add to his problems  ricky also has to work with kate  kelly preston   the ivy league wunderkind whom the boss has brought with him  kate and ricky dont get along and dont have any great ideas until they meet g  eddie murphy   a spiritualist who sees something positive in everything  his soothing voice and simple logic makes people feel good  and its this quality that will make g the new gbn television star and the key to the networks success  the first problem is a flaw in the plot  sure  g makes people feel good  sure  were told that most people feel guilty after buying an impulse item  no matter how wealthy they might be  and ill even believe that g talks a talk that allows people to feel good about what theyve bought  but  hey  thats after theyve bought it  why do sales skyrocket the first time g is on camera  far from trying to sell the product  g instead blathers on about how you dont even need the thing  someone please tell me how this is supposed to move merchandise in the first place  you might say that people feel good about what theyve bought  so they come back and by more  but due to the simple fact that the first round of sales in inexplicable  im not convinced this is what the filmmakers had in mind  the whole movie is therefore seriously undermined because the key point in the plot is never credible  another problem is in the humor  you know  if you see that eddie murphy is in a movie  i think it is not unreasonable for you to expect that the film is a comedy  whoa  partner  are you in for a surprise  holy man is not funny  murphy  the one asset youd think this movie has  remember how they brought him in at the last minute to save best defense   then again  maybe you dont  is seriously reigned in  the script gives him almost nothing to work with  and it seems as though director stephen herek kept him toned down so that the other actors in the film wouldnt be left as window dressing  theres only one moment in the film where murphy is allowed to let loose  and it lasts for three shouted words  which seem totally out of place as a result  pathetic  in all  there are about three jokes that work in the entire picture  and theyre not even that great  as a side note  there are some cameo appearances such as dan marino pitching a contraption which allows you to cook off of your car engine  and james brown introducing a medicalert device that shouts  help me   just like the hardest working man in show business at the push of a button  but these never cause your personal laughometer to rise above the level of mild bemusement   well   you ask   surely there must be some convincing performances to make up for the lack of humor   think again  buckwheat  jeff goldblum disappoints  kelly preston is flat  but not like that   robert loggia  in the kind of role for which he has been virtually typecast  cant do anything with it  the script is part of the problem  but these actors dont even look like they believe in the move theyre making  they look a lot like theyre bored  just like the audience  so what do you have when the humor is absent from your comedy  and the acting is like the siberian steppes  a film that drags more than a dropped anchor  but wait  as if these problems dont make the film slow enough  the screenplays pacing makes the movie even slower  it takes the entire first half hour to establish the movies premise  then more time as the film wades through a tortuous  and seemingly mandatory  romance between ricky and kate  and a subplot involving a conniving pr man  eric mccormack  who wants to discredit g and take over rickys job as producer  when the pr guys plan is foiled  the film is climaxes  were treated to that little epilogue  and then we can all go home  right  wrong  the movie goes on for another half hour  continental drift is the indy 500 compared to the pace of holy man  the only thing holy about holy man will surely be the number of people exclaiming  holy   that movie was awful   this one is for the truly pious  
neg	plot  something about a bunch of kids going into a haunted house and playing out parodies of other horror and nonhorror movies  oh yeah  theres also something about a ghost possessing the mansion and shit  but trust me  you wont care much about the  plot  in this film    critique  parody movies either work or they dont and this one just doesnt work  the laughs arent as pronounced this time around  the energy level  the gags and all of the characters just seem to be going through the motions here  its like they were all in a hurry to finish the film or something  wink  wink   and the scariest part of it all  check out the number of screenwriters it took to pen this puppy  seven  i say again  it took seven people to write 82minutes worth of fart jokes  halfassed stunts and spoofs of films other than horror  now im not exactly sure if each of the writers wrote their own parts separately or just tossed  funny sketch  ideas out there while smoking the chronic themselves  but the end result is a film that basically plays out like an extended skit on  saturday night live   there are a couple of funny oneliners  but mostly just rehashed onejoke scenes  a lot of dead silence and lame gags  add to that the very unoriginal title and movie poster and you gotta start asking yourself if anybody was even trying here  the films website isnt even up yet    what the f         i do however have to give it up to james woods  the man who opens up this movie with the funniest parody of them all  the exorcist takeoff miss this and youve missed any reason to see the flick   i especially liked his oneliner as he walked in to see the possessed womans head turning  very funny  unfortunately  the film plummets straight down after that  with dumb parodies of many teen flicks that have nothing to do with horror such as save the last dance and dude  wheres my car  and other action movies like charlies angels and mission impossible 2  now help me figure this one out  will you  isnt this supposed to be a parody film of horror movies     or maybe thats just the title of the film fing with my head   well  im sorry to have to say this but the only horror in this film is its lameass script  the wayans brothers should have known better than to look towards the weinstein brothers  money  instead of the zucker brothers  comedy  for this sequel  unfortunately for us  all were left with here is a skeleton of a film which mightve been funny  had it been worked over a few more times  tightened up here and there  and been injected with more solid laughs  but as things stand now  there is no doubt in my mind that the obvious greed to capitalize on the success of last years film has led everyone down this path  so screw them for not trying as hard  critically speaking  of course   you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not putting enough  real  effort into this chopjob and for not providing your fans with the ultimate of your talents  pooh on you   thats telling em  joblo  sheesh  btw  im allotting one point alone to actress kathleen robertson  whose massive breasts and skanky gstring had me chompin at the bit  you go  girl  everyone else    stay  wheres joblo coming from  airplane  1010   airplane ii  1010   galaxy quest  810   hannibal  710   the haunting  310   mafia  510   naked gun  810   scary movie  810   top secret  910  
neg	the cartoon is way better  thats the bottom line on disneys incredibly hyped live action version of its 1961 animated feature  the alliance between disney and slapstick king john hughes has produced a frenetic  home alone  with puppies  and not much else  when production of this remake was announced  the big question seemed to be  why  the original cartoon still works  so whats the point   the answer  it appears  is to give disney an excuse for yet another massive merchandising campaign  the story  for those of you who missed childhood  is simple  two dalmatians  pongo and perdy  fall in love at first sight  they drag their  human pets  together  and in a short time both couples marry  the heavenly matchups turn chaotic when pongo and perdys newborn pups are stolen  their dognapping engineered by the evil cruella devil  who wants them for their pelts  everyone in the animal kingdom then joins in a frantic effort to save the puppies  in the original movie  the animated pooches had a broad range of facial expressions and distinct personalities  we also could hear them talk  which quickly established a crucial element to the charm of the film  the dogs view of humans as their pets  in the new version  the dogs are mute and expressionless  hughes attempts to give them character with repeated shots of the dalmatians draping their heads over each other and licking their faces and necks  while he drew the desired  aww  theyre so cute  reaction from the audience  it was quickly followed by several people whispering  i wonder what kind of food they smeared on the dogs heads to get them licking like that   the canines lack of personality would be easier to take if the human beings had a little  joely richardson and jeff daniels are stunningly bland in their lead roles  in previous films  daniels successfully played off his white bread persona  in  something wild   he revealed the rebellious thrillseeker beneath his neutral demeanor  in  terms of endearment   his hapless appearance masked a cold  manipulative womanizer  here  he and richardson are so consistently bland that its a wonder their images even stick to the film  glenn close  however  has no problems establishing a distinct personality  as the villainous icon cruella devil  she tears up the screen in a deliciously overthetop performance  close matches the intensity of the animated cruella by becoming a cartoon herself  with a twotone fright wig  red gloves with long nails attached to the fingertips  garish animal skin outfits and stiletto heels  close bursts through her scenes like a force of nature  shes clearly having a ball playing this monstrous icon  and her wicked glee is infectious  when she spits out lines like  youve won the battle  but im about to win the wardrobe    the film comes briefly to life   101 dalmatians  is crammed with john hughes typical heavyhanded approach to comedy  after an ingenuous opening showing pongos morning routine as he gets daniels prepared for the day  the film quickly tumbles into lame slapstick as the pooch drags daniels on a careening trek through a city park  a little slapstick goes a long way  but hughes just keeps laying it on  the second half of the film  where local animals team up to rescue 99 nondescript dalmatian puppies from devil and her henchmen  is a tedious home alone clone  with the bad guys enduring a variety of sadistic assaults worthy of an itchy  scratchy cartoon  including a thug getting his testicles fried on an electric fence   101 dalmatians  has cute puppies and a hoot of a performance from glenn close  but not enough to warrant enduring third rate slapstick  bland characters  and unconvincing animatronic raccoons highfiving one another  rent the cartoon  
neg	 spawn  may be somewhat of an older film  in fact it will probably be on video before anyone who hasnt seen it will finally get to see it  that is  if they see it   but i managed to catch it before it made its way out of theaters and into the world of rentals and  god forbid  video cassette purchasing  it wasnt the worst film of year by any means  it isnt even on the top 5 of the worst films of the year  but it did manage to top the bottom five of the bottom ten  which  in simpler terms  means it comes in at number 6 on my  worst of 1997  list  the only reason it doesnt come in lower is thanks to the special effects  which might actually have been some of the best of the year  performances  however  were either wooden or  for the most part  unforgivingly campy  in fact  this film shows no signs of attempting to avoid campiness  even the editing seemed to boast a campy quality  i dont know how to explain that one  it wasnt exactly choppy  but something about it seemed    well  annoyingly unprofessional  john leguizamo almost makes it as clown  but not quite  he is the only character who provides the audience with any laughs that can honestly be called intentional  but the main problem i found with  spawn   as with most films that wind up on my  worst of  lists  is that it was just plain boring  i wouldnt even say there was a climax to the film  sure  it had the big battle scene at the end  but the only excitement felt was that the movie might be nearing a conclusion  never too soon  the movie did conclude in a very simple  disappointing way  even though its one of the shorter movies ive seen this year  its one that i would definitely not want to subject myself to sitting thru again  like i said  the special effects are the only reason that this film should have any sense of pride  no matter how small  i was impressed with the opening sequence  so long as i didnt allow the melodramatic voiceover and lobotomizing editing to get to me  and batman has nothing on the spectacular visuals spawns outfit created  but even the effects got tiresome during the final scenes  which looked quite a bit like a modern video game  who knows if  spawn  the video game  wasnt part of the plan from the beginning  keeping in mind that the film was based on a comic book makes it somewhat more approachable  and in a very small amount  makes up for the cheeziness of it all  but none of this movies saving graces can it make it something id recommend seeing  no matter what the price of admission  this movie is definitely not for young children  which shouldnt really be a problem seeing as how only teenagers  if anyone  would likely find it appealing  if you really want to catch a movie  there are many better ones out there  no matter what your tastes might be  trust me   spawn  has very little to offer even the most avid moviegoers  
neg	from a major league baseball radio broadcast  featuring playby play man harry canary and color man whitey hashbrown  with special guest commentator james berardinelli  hc  as we go to the top of the 8th  were joined in the booth by film critic james berardinelli  whos here fresh from seeing the new baseball movie  major league  back to the minors  the third in the popular saga taking a lighter look at the majors  nice to see you  jim  as a big baseball fan and a movie reviewer  can you give us the scoop on the new flick  jb  my opinion  the producers should have stopped while they were ahead  and that was nine years ago  one entry was definitely enough  and im surprised there was a third after the anemic showing and low quality of major league 2  this latest installment has all the earmarks of something that should have been released directtovideo  its worse than a mediocre madefortv feature  i should also mention that this movie likely wont play all that well in cleveland  now that the real indians are perennial contenders  they have been replaced by the minnesota twins as the cinematic sadsacks  actually  most of the action involves the twins aaa minor league club  the buzz  rather than the actual major league franchise  hc  sorry to interrupt  jim  but we still have to do playbyplay for the game on the field  leading off this inning is john warren  he steps into the batters box and takes kents pitch low for ball one  wh  so  the storys strictly minor league  right  whats it about  jb  scott bakula  the guy from quantum leap  plays career minor league pitcher gus cantrell  when twins owner roger dorn  once again portrayed by corbin bernsen  needs a new manager for his aaa team  he offers the job to gus  who is now faced with two daunting tasks  turn the team around and groom hot prospect downtown anderson  played by walt goggins  for a promotion to  the show   with the help of former major leaguers pedro cerrano  dennis haysbert   rube baker  eric bruskotter   and isuro tanaka  takaaki ishibashi   gus gets the buzz on the right track  in fact  he is so successful that he earns the enmity of the jealous manager of the bigleague club  leonard huff  played with overthetop relish by ted mcginley   soon  dorn has arranged an exhibition game that pits gus overachieving group against huffs overpaid  lastplace bunch  wh  can we guess who wins  jb  the results have all the suspense of watching the videotape of a game when youve already seen the box score  on top of that  none of the mockups are presented with much flair  theyre not just boring  theyre lackluster  but the major league movies have never been about drama or tension  theyve been about using baseball situations to generate laughs  hc  warren fouls off a fastball  1 and 1  wh  are there lots of yuks in this one  jb  not one  from start to finish  i enjoyed the first major league because it was reasonably fresh and funny  okay  a lot of the jokes were sophomoric  but they made me laugh  the two sequels havent just been stale  but their humor quotient has been abysmally low  even bob ueckers oncesharp oneliners have turned lame  and theyre the closest the film comes to being even vaguely amusing  hc  heres the 11 pitch  looooooong drive  fair or foul  foul ball  the count goes to 1 and 2  wh  does the film at least get the baseball details correct  jb  yes  there arent any glaring errors like there were in one of the bestever baseball movies  the natural  but id gladly trade a technically accurate film for one with a good story  believable characters  or even a little genuine humor  heck  the naked gun is a better baseball comedy than major league  back to the minors  wh  its nice to see old friends one more time  isnt it  like cerrano  tanaka  and dorn  jb  depends on whether you really care that anyone is back  there arent any real characters here  just an assortment of cliched oddballs  yeah  the voodoo hitter  the catcher who cant throw back to the pitcher  the japanese player  and the conceited playerturnedowner have all returned  but who really cares  they have no depth  notable absences include tom berengers veteran and charlie sheens  wild thing   we dont really miss them  though  hc  breaking ball  low and outside  2 and 2  wh  so youre saying that we should give this one a miss  jb  thats right  to use baseball terminology  its a threepitch strikeout  if youre looking for a good movie that involves baseball  try popping the natural  field of dreams  bull durham  or even the first major league into the vcr  actually  this is an oddlytimed release  since baseball fans are likely to be spending more time in parks than in theaters  even the minor league seasons are already underway  dont bother with major league  back to the minors  its a wretched time waster  wh  thanks for the advice  jb  youre welcome  hc  and heres the 22 pitch  fouled back  right into this booth  hey  jim  heads up  oops  somebody better get him some ice for that  he may be good at deflecting bad baseball movies  but he needs to learn not to duck into foul balls  odd how warren seemed to aim that ball right at him  almost as if he has a grudge to settle  anyway  back to the action on the field  
neg	its time to take cover  after a hiatus of about fifteen years  the disaster movie has come back with renewed zest  in early 1997  there were no less than three movies about volcanoes alone  one on television and two in the theaters  with dantes peak and volcano in heavy competition for the moviegoing dollar  of the two  i had heard that dantes peak was the better film  so i decided to check it out when it was released on video  the film begins with a slow motion scene of people in a third world country trying to evacuate their little town  the town is being covered in ash and sulfuric water from what we presume is a volcanic eruption  flaming rocks of various sizes also fall from the sky  crushing homes and people  we see people panicking  people crying  and even horses rearing  it is a disaster of biblical proportions  signified to us by one person dragging a cross down a road  symbolism doesnt get much more blatant than that  we learn that harry dalton  pierce brosnan   a volcanologist with the u  s  geological survey  was there with his wife when the eruption occurred  harry survived  but his wife did not  a few years later  harry is sent to investigate some unusual seismic activity detected near the small town of dantes peak  washington  which  we are told  has been voted second most desirable place to live  under 20  000  by the readers of money magazine   there harry meets rachel wando  a single mother of two who serves as mayor of dantes peak and proprietor of a small coffee shop  although the mayor doesnt seem to be alarmed by the presence of a man sent to determine if the mountain next to their town is going to blow up  a few members of the city council are  they are afraid that harrys presence is going to scare off an investor who has pledged to put millions of dollars into developing dantes peak  they would rather have any news of possible stirrings within the neighboring dormant volcano swept under the rug  however  when an amorous young couple takes a skinnydip in the local hot springs  they turn up cooked by lava which bubbles up from a small fissure underneath  thus begins a chain of events leading up to the inevitable eruption  this film contains a number of cliches  the amorous couple is one  as soon as they doff their clothes  you know theyre going to die  the town busybody and the abrasive motherinlaw make appearances  as does the deathdefying dog  countless familiar scenarios only serve to make this film very predictable  watching the movie  i was able to not only anticipate each of the major plot elements  but some of the dialogue as well  unfortunate  since much of the dialog is terrible  for example  harrys boss  paul  charles hallahan   and a team from the u  s  geological survey join harry to assess the situation  paul basically tells the townsfolk that harrys eruption predictions arent cause for alarm  this causes harry to leave in a fit of rage  only to turn up the next day  ready for work  when paul asks harry why he stayed  he says with grim determination   cause this towns in trouble and im the best man youve got   even better is when harry is trying to explain the need to jolt the residents into leaving  he likens the situation to how a frog will jump out if dropped into a pot of boiling water  if the frog is in cold water which is gradually heated up  however  the frog wont move and will allow itself to be cooked   is that your recipe for frog soup   asks one of the team members   its my recipe for disaster   responds harry  dantes peak has a singular talent for pointing out the obvious  our heroes are in a boat in the middle of a lake which harry realizes the volcanic activity has turned to acid  mayor wando demonstrates her brilliant powers of deduction by proclaiming  in a very grave tone   acid eats metal   thanks for the tip  when we first see the u  s  geological survey building  theres a caption labeling it as such  this wouldnt have been so bad if it werent for the fact that the caption is right above a sign on the building which reads  in large letters   u  s  geological survey   i suppose the caption is for people who cant read signs  although harry and mayor wando become an item by the end of the film  the viewer has no idea why  there is a severe lack of chemistry between the two characters  and the relationship seems rushed because of this  when they get close to kissing  i was asking myself   why do they want to kiss  were they even attracted to each other   if i were the mayor  i would sure think twice about kissing a guy who doesnt even crack a smile through the whole movie  trying to pull off the roughyetdebonair act  who does he think he is  james bond  the eruption of the volcano feels similarly rushed  there are several  warning signs  prior to the eruption itself  but they are so lackluster and without suspense that we dont feel as if they are leading up to anything  for example  one of the survey team members makes his way down into the crater of the volcano in order to retrieve a remote controlled robot  a tremor occurs  does he plunge headlong to his death  is he engulfed in lava which shoots up from below  no  a couple of rocks fall on him and break his leg  the sole purpose of this scene seemed to be to set up the subsequent chopper rescue scene  which i suppose was intended to be dramatic as well  it wasnt  one plot thread left noticeably hanging was the investment in the town of dantes peak  in a disaster movie  theres usually one guy whos greedy enough to cover up the possibility of eruptionfireearthquakeexplosiontsunamitornadometeorite  and usually gets killed by the disaster  its okay  of course  because we all think he got what he deserved  if youre going to be unoriginal  you might as well go all the way  in dantes peak  the city councilmembers are concerned  but they dont really try hard enough  maybe the mayors abrasive motherinlaw should have been the one  for no apparent reason  she snaps at harry for even positing that the volcano could erupt  perhaps her ancestors invested in some pompeii real estate  there are a couple of good things about this movie  the first is the scenery  there are panoramic shots of forests  lakes and mountains that are absolutely beautiful  the second is the special effects  they are the closest ive ever seen to a real pyroclastic eruption  but when elements which dont speak are going to be the best parts of your movie  youd probably better rewrite the script  
neg	capsule  a hamhanded and overunderwritten morality play masquerading as entertainment  so muddled it doesnt even know what its really advocating  if anything  a time to kill has been hailed as the best of the grisham adaptations  and its easy to see why  it presents a strong  almost rancorously so  story  it is full of good actors  samuel l  jackson  matthew mcconaughey  sandra bullock  kevin spacey  charles dutton   and its ostensibly about some important social issue that were all tangling with  it is not  however  a good movie  and all of the reasons ive listed above have something to do with why  right from the beginning  the movie is deadset on stacking its deck as thoroughly and unrepentantly as possible  a pair of redneck whites  boozed and drugged out of their minds  kidnap a young black girl  abuse and rape her horribly  and leave her for dead  after their arrest  their father  jackson  takes an assault rifle and guns them down on the way to trial  mcconaughey is then drafted in as his lawyer  and the rest is somehow strangely predictable courtoom movie dramatics  the acting is not quite what it should be  given the cast we have  sandra bullock  who is a good actress but not a serious one  looks clueless  spaceys accent switches itself on and off at random  and hes given a totally thankless role to play as well  a role without an iota of depth   and mcconaugheys role is stamped from the cardboard back of a cereal box  the most memorable role is donald sutherlands  and his is a bit part  i always consider it an index of a movies desperation when it is able to present shocking and outlandish events  and somehow not have them generate an ounce of impact  there is one scene  a riot outside the courtroom  that should have created incredible tension  but winds up playing out like a textbook exercise on how not to deploy a scene like this  because the movie doesnt know what its really about  it  cant  generate any genuine tension  and so it has to artifically inject tension through clumsy plotting  one of the ways it does this is by throwing in a whole subplot about a bunch of vicious kkk crossburners  which is tidied up so neatly that it borders on the nihilistic  i was reminded of the despicable betrayed  which tried to tart up a fundamentally empty story by injecting vile  graphic acts of racism as little more than an attentiongetter  the movie immolates an enormous amount of its potential by making a few critical mistakes  first of all  the jackson character is not hard to judge  theres no tension in his dilemma  hes selfadmittedly guilty and should be sent to jail  no matter how moral his crusade  the old saw about how no court in the land would convict him  if he was white  is supposed to be the underlying theme of the movie  but its never developed into an organic component of the story  it just sort of floats around on top while the movie grinds away furiously with its plot mechanics  another mistake is in motivational logic  by not having the two white thugs arraigned first  or maybe tried and then dismissed from lack of evidence  say  we have that much less empathy for jacksons character  im probably supposed to think that just because he had his daughter raped  we are  automatically  supposed to feel empathy for him  but thats precisely the kind of facile thinking that makes real justice impossible   see the virgin spring for more on that note   is jacksons character then simply insane  that prospect isnt given terribly serious treatment either  one of the most aggravating things about coutroom movies is how little they seem to know about how the law works  or how lawyers get their information  mcconaugheys character makes an important slipup late in the movie  when one of his witnesses turns out to have been convicted of a capital offense  how did the prosecution get this information  how come he didnt get it  the whole way these questions get handled are symptomatic of the movies way of dealing with complex legal and moral questions in cheap screenwriterly slambang fashion  this is the biggest problem  the movie isnt about jacksons character  or his dilemma  or this case  or any of its  frequently interesting despite the porcine writing and direction  characters  its not ultimately about anything at all  except its stupid geareddown plot  which inches onwards in one unremarkable scene after another towards a totally contrived ending  at two and a half hours  the movie is overlong and drastically overwritten  theres endless stuff about things which ultimately add up to nothing  and no writing about the material that should really matter  its all handwaving  the closing argument are also sneaky and underhanded  and underscored my suspicion that the movie is manipulative and unfair  its not easy to make a movie about something  the other day i saw kurosawas phenomenal rashomon  a movie that is really about the way people deal with truth and reality  or dont   a time to kill is as empty and ponderous a movie as ive seen in a long time  
neg	 deep rising  gives you that sinking feeling both literally and figuratively  not only does the movie take place on a cruise ship slowly being immersed into the middle of the ocean by a squidlike menace  but the unfolding story is artificial  silly and almost completely derivative of countless other  and  for the most part  better  films  while dumb monster movies can at least be decent guilty pleasures  take  for example  the schlocky mountain highs of last springs  anaconda    deep rising  has no tongue to put in its cheek  folks  were only a month into the new year  and already heres a candidate for one of its stinkiest releases  most of the action takes place on the argonautica  a luxury liner in the middle of its maiden voyage  uhoh  if these people had seen  titanic   then maybe theyd have known to stay home  when its attacked by a giant  tentacled sea creature  the only survivors are slinky jewel thief trilian  famke janssen   argonautica owner canton  anthony heald  and a few other crew members  a mercenary team  lead by resourceful captain john finnegan  treat williams   board the argonautica looking for assistance after their own boat breaks down nearby  but what their search of the ship uncovers is something bloodsoaked  hungry and not very helpful  the main problem with  deep rising  is its overt familiarity  the movie makes absolutely no attempt to differentiate itself from most scifihorror films in recent memory  the concept is  leviathan  meets  titanic   with a dash of  speed 2  thrown in for good  or is that bad   measure  this monster is equal parts  20  000 leagues under the sea  and  the relic   knows how to open doors like the raptors from  jurassic park  and even gets to expel a halfdigested victim  a neat effect  admittedly  a la the giant snake in  anaconda   some of the attack sequences are straight out of  jaws  and  alien   a scene where the remaining survivors have to travel under water to escape death is right out of  alien resurrection   theres even a jet ski chase like  hard rain   and the list goes on  watching  deep rising  s cast battle the beast is a murky chore in itself  because none of them have welldeveloped characters  nor do they seem to project even the slightest sense of fear when facing their enemy  williams is affable enough  but his finnegan just isnt believable  an interesting supporting cast is thoroughly wasted  pretty famke janssen  best known as  goldeneye  s killer thighs  is trapped in a forced romantic interest with williams  while kevin j  oconnor  as finnegans mechanic  provides comic relief with screechy manic shtick that gets old fast  djimon honsou  who received raves for his performance as a noble slave in decembers  amistad   pops up in a brief part  he needs to stay away from the water  the movies final shot is a groaner  as is the 11thhour regurgitation of a subplot involving an onship saboteur  as if a cast deserving of their snack foodfate isnt bad enough  when you taunt the monster  youre really asking for it    deep rising  is a slow  stupid slog through a story without a single bright spot  and since we all know that the higher the casualty rate is  the closer we are to the end of the movie  rooting for this overgrown squid to swallow the whole ship isnt out of the question  
neg	 mandingo  has traditionally been seen as one of two things  either a muchneeded revisionist look at slavery in the south  or in the words of film critic leonard maltin   a trashy potboiler  that  appeals only to the sm crowd   actually  i think  mandingo  is a strange combination of the two  although it fails on both fronts  its too trashy to be good drama  but too dramatic to be good trash  the story takes place on a dilapidated louisiana plantation run by crotchety old warren maxwell  james mason  and his son  hammond  perry king   one day in new orleans  hammond comes across a slave trader selling a mandingo named mede  heavyweight boxer ken norton   although the movie never explains it  a mandingo is simply the name for africans who come from the region of the upper niger river valley  according to the movie  mandingos were the rolls royce of african slaves  hammond pays top price for mede and has to fight off others in order to get him  hammond then spends his time training mede to be a fighter in money brawls with other slaves  meanwhile  hammond has married his cousin  blanche  susan george   because she wants to escape her family and he is under pressure from his father to produce a grandchild  hammond  however  is happier spending nights with his  bed wench   the derogatory name given to female slaves used by their masters for easy sex  it is quickly apparent that hammond  despite his overt racism  is more in love with his bed wench  a sensitive slave girl named ellen  brenda sykes   than he is with blanche  hammond considers blanche tainted goods because he finds out on their wedding night that another man had  pleasured  her before he did  of course  its fine that hes slept with numerous slave girls  but the fact that his wife  a  white lady   had been with another man out of wedlock destroys his capacity to care for her  so blanche is usually left lonely and sexstarved while hammond is sleeping with ellen  blanche gets back at hammond by seducing the studly mede and bearing his child  hammond and his father cannot stand the idea that blanche has given birth to a halfblack child  although its okay that ellen was pregnant by hammond   so warren kills the child by letting it bleed to death after birth  and hammond poisons blanche  hammond then finds mede  shoots him twice in the shoulder  and pushes him into a giant cauldron of boiling water  yes  you read right  the film ends with hammond getting his revenge by boiling mede alive  judging only by the plot   mandingo  is pure sexploitation  the main purpose of the film seems to be getting as many blacks and whites into bed together as possible  with only the slightest commentary on what that would mean in 19th century southern society  when  mandingo  was released in 1975  it was still a bit of a shocker to see miscegenation on screen in such a graphic detail  this way the movie could revise cinematic history while attracting large audiences of curious voyeurs  dramatically   mandingo  is weak and unfocused  and historically its mostly confused  if one were to judge history by this film  it would be easy to walk away with the notion that the entire system of american slavery was based on sexuality  not economics  not once in the film do we see any of the slaves working  except for a few house servants  the men spend most of the time sitting around  while the sole purpose of a female slave seems to be free sex for the owner  there is historical basis in the notion that slave owners often slept with their female slaves  but  mandingos  overwhelming emphasis on this aspect of slavery gives the movie the unpleasant taste of a cheap sex flick  although theres plenty of violence  fights  vicious beatings  shootings  and the aforementioned human boiling sequence  thrown in for good measure   some tried to write off  mandingo  as a blaxploitation film  one of a number of quicklymade  lowbudget films appealing to black sensibilities in the early seventies  but its not that easy   mandingo  was studiofinanced by paramount pictures  and produced by dino de laurentiis  the grandiose italian producer behind such notorious productions as  the bible   1966   the remake of  king kong   1976   and the illfated  dune   1984   the director was richard fleischer  a veteran who was best known for several special effectsladen action movies including  20  000 leagues under the sea   1954  and  fantastic voyage   1966   as well as such superior suspense films as  the narrow margin   1952   the script  based on the supermarket bestseller by ken ostott  and the subsequent play by jack kirkland   was penned by norman wexler  who had been nominated for an oscar two years earlier for his work on  serpico   james mason  perry king  and susan george were wellknown and respected actors  mason already had three oscar nominations under his belt   and ken norton appeared to have a promising film career  so why is  mandingo  so bad  a number of reasons  including the fact that all those experienced filmmakers behind and in front of the camera did a lousy job  wexlers script is pure poor hokum bordering on the offensive  it combines stereotyped slavetalk   yessuh  massuh    stereotyped southern white trash talk   fer whutre you gittin outta bed     and stereotyped contemporary militant black talk   if you see me hang  you gonna know you killed a black brother     fleischers direction is clumsy  especially during the fight scenes  and all the actors give weak performances  especially susan george whose constant shrieking finally becomes laughable  nevertheless  credit should be given where credit is due  despite its exploitative nature   mandingo  was one of the first hollywood movies to take an alternative look at slavery  until then  there had been a kind of underlying racism in all hollywood films dealing with slavery  even classics such as  gone with the wind   1939  can be seen as inherently racist by its glossing over the subject matter   mandingo  reassessed the south  and showed that it wasnt all beautiful plantations  green fields  and pretty sunsets  but all this is constantly undermined by the films negligible pointofview  it claims to see things from the black perspective  but the entire narrative focus is on the soap opera tales of the white owners  with a little more maturity and different handling   mandingo  might have been an effective  worthwhile film  while it portrays many sensitive aspects of slavery  it never deals with them  the issues the movie brings up are worthwhile  but wexlers script refuses to move them beyond a surface level of trashily vicarious viewing  there is a great deal of potential in honestly exploring the nature of a sexual relationship between slave and owner  but  mandingo  never does it  steven spielberg touched on that same topic in  schindlers list   1993   by looking at a nazi officer writhing in inner turmoil because of his feelings for a jewish maid  the difference between that film and  mandingo  is that spielberg dealt with the situation in a fair  unexploitive manner that focused on the inherent human dilemma   mandingo  is satisfied to simply show some skin  and because of that  its  trashy potboiler  nature overshadows any potential social good it might have accomplished  
neg	the above is dialogue from this film  taken almost completely in context  and not jazzed up a bit to make it more inept than it is  it is spoken between two of the protagonists somewhere in the film  and basically serves as a perfect example of what this film is about  especially if you realize that this exchange is meant to be taken seriously  mr  gregg  imhavingamidlifecrisis  araki  the writer and director of this film  wants to show how important teenagers are  and wants to show how they feel in such a horrible  horrible world  and how does he show it  by really cheap surrealism  and moronic exchanges like this  oh  and it gets better  a similar bit of dialogue is said in the middle of  oh i dunno  the fiftieth sex scene in this film  im not counting the several masturbation scenes   in it  one of the protagonists is humping away on top of another  and he says to her something along the lines of  do you ever wonder what life is all about   sorry  man  foreplay takes place before the act of coitus  of course  what do you expect  the film was written and directed by a guy who cant even spell his first name right  yes  i know its a cheap joke  but it had to be done    the doom generation  is advertised as a road trip movie about people who go around killing others who attack them  and also as another  teen angst  film  one of the slogans is  teen is a fourletter word   hardy har har   its a film about two angsty teens  amy blue  rose macgowan  who would later play the buxom tatum in  scream   and jordon white  james duval  who would go on to play randy quaids son in  independence day    who pick up an angsty homicidal maniac  xavier red  jonathan schaech  who would go on to play the angsty lead guitarist in  that thing you do    and by the way  do you get the symbolism  red  white  and blue  huh  huh    and go on a road trip where three things happen  in no order  1  they have sex  2  they run into weird people  3  they kill them  the film is basically a remix of a bunch of other far superior films  gregg araki obviously has seen such films as  easy rider    natural born killers   and  kalifornia   and tries to borrow elements from all these films and make something which is like a pop culture reference guide  but what he forgets is these films either represented something that this film does not  or that they dug deep into their subjects and brought something out of them to make them deeper   the doom generation  doesnt want to do this  it just wants to show everything in a surreal manner for the sole reason that araki does not want to deal with them on any kind of real level  he wants to show everything in a weird manner  and forgets what the scenes are supposed to be about  heres one scene  an earlier scene in the film  amy and jordan go into a quicke mart type place to get food and other stuff  amy is smoking  and the clerk  an asian man mind you  i love how racist this film is  i really do   tells her to put it out  she tells him to fuck off or something to that note  he points a shotgun at her  and she puts it out reluctantly  jordan makes two hot dogs  and takes them to the counter  the cash register rings up  6  66   oh  and this symbolism doesnt stop here   jordan checks for his wallet but its really in the car  he asks amy for it  but she left her wallet in the car as well  the clerk brings out his shotgun again and asks for the money  they say they dont have it  he gets ready to kill them  but then xavier  who they ditched in the middle of nowhere a scene before  pops out of nowhere  fights with the clerk  and ends with him blowing the clerks head clean off  clean wound  mind you   the head is shown flying through the air  and lands in a fryer  where it begins to scream  i dont really object to this kind of sick violence  but this scene is in the film for one reason and one reason only  to gross you out  araki thinks that if he takes everything to the extreme  hell make some kind of art  wrong  it takes a kind of resistance to make gore art  when george romero made  dawn of the dead   a very gory flick even for today  he had control over everything and still was able to make everything sick  same goes for peter jacksons disgustingly gory  dead alive   which features a 30 minute long fest of blood  guts  dismemberments  flesh chewing  and other assorted stuff  all ending with a guy with a lawn mower strapped to his body  taking out all sorts of zombies  it was sick  but it was also satirical  and controled  a scene like this has no purpose in the film  and it sticks out from everything else that happens  heres a couple other scenes  jordan and amy have sex in a bath tub and xavier watches  masturbates  and then licks the semen from his hand  xavier and amy have sex and jordan watches from the window  masturbates  and falls backwards  a man attacks the trio  and is stabbed in the crotch by a giant sword  put there just so this could happen   a fast food employee stalks the trio  and his arm is shot off by xavier  and various other annoyances  also  look for about a million camoes from a wide assortment of people  who probably didnt really know what they were getting into when they signed up to do it  just like peter otoole  helen mirren  malcolm macdowell  and john gielgud probably didnt when they signed to be in  caligula    people such as indie actors parker posey and nicky katt  alternative rock stars skinny puppy and perry farrel  hollywood madam heidi fleiss  christopher  peter brady  mcknight  amanda bearse  and margaret cho all grace the screen for a matter of seconds  then disappear so that we can return to the annoying main plot line  why are they here  so that we can all point to them and say  hey  look its  fill in the blank   wow   gimme a break  the films meaning is pretty easy to detect  that  you know  teens are so precious  and the world is such a horrible place  that when the two entities collide  theres a giant explosion of horrific violence  otherwise defined as  teen angst   or the belief that being a teenager is a horrible thing and that the world is too bad for you  look  im 19 years old  i went through a very brief teen angst thing which curiously lasted about as long as my taste in nirvana did  ive since moved on to  i dont really know what to do with my life  phase  but the teen angst phase is something which is so annoyingly sophomoric and ignorant that any film that thinks theyre dealing with it on any kind of serious level is just beating the wrong horse  part of being a teen is experimenting  and testing the waters  its not whining about how awful parents are  and purposely feeling dispondent  this is what the characters in this film do  and the film wants to show how theyre these great people who are being punished by the world because theyre teenagers  and how they try to defend themselves but cant totally overcome them  its not their fault they kill people  its the worlds  what they really need is a reality check  the world is a bad place  and teenagers can be easily harmed because they are experimenting  but part of it is taking everything that happens to you and learning from it  the film thinks that teenagers are basically doomed  and theres nothing they can do about it  hence the title  not only does it have bad fallacy  but it cant even express this in an intelligent and coherent manner  everythings overly surreal  and all we get are scenes of graphic violence and graphic sex  how does xavier licking semen off his hand express teen angst  how does a talking decapitated head show that teens are dispondent because the world makes them this way  and why does the film constantly go back to the teen angst issue of the film  if araki had any kind of competence in writing or direction  hed show them for what they really are  and if he didnt want the satirical approach  hed show the real problems with the world  and if you still dont think that  the doom generation  is incompetent on every single possible level it could be  take the acting  rose macgowan is horrible  yes  she proved herself talented in  scream   but shes so bad in  the doom generation  that if i had not seen her in  scream   i would have christened her one of the worst actresses working in films today  her entire performance is onenote  bitchy   and the one scene where she cries over a dead animal is so forced that its laughable  equally bad is jonathan schaech  who wants to be the slacker serial killer  someone who doesnt have any remorse because emotions cause some kind of strain  his performance is annoying as hell  and granted  he was better in  that thing you do   and then theres james duval  lets just say he makes keanu reeves look like brando  he has the same kind of slacker stuttering  only much much much worse  and every line he says is so bad that i have now deemed him  least talented actor in the world   i have seen lots of bad actors  but james duval has got to be the worst  or at least somewhere up there  heres another example of a bad scene  if youre still not convinced  the film opens up in a club where theyre playing nine inch nails most banal song   heresy   example of the lines   god is deadand no one caresif there is a hellill see you there    and as the song plays  and red strobe lights show the patrons dancing  the film pans over to amy  just standing there  looking dispondent  the film closes in on her  she looks right at the camera and says  fuck   no explanation of this should be necessary  and finally  a note to gregg  grow up  really  move out of your parents basement  read something other than salinger  and get a day job  and dont quit it  
neg	 ladybugs  is a typical comedy that relies on three supposed guarantees  the pathetic team who beats the champs  cross dressing  and the presence of rodney dangerfield  this picture doesnt play like a comedy for children  so who is it aimed at  and why is it told like a 91minute sitcom instead of a feature film  rodney dangerfield stars as chester lee  a total schmuck working at a huge corporation  he obviously doesnt have a lot of self esteem and thinks he has to kiss up to get ahead  which he does by volunteering to coach the companys girls soccer team  what a shock to learn chester and his assistant julie  jackee  know absolutely nothing about the game  and the players seem to know even less  i didnt laugh  but for some reason it didnt annoy me that much  chesters fiancee bess  graff  thinks he got a promotion in addition to the coaching position  and of course she has a slacker for a son who is doing poorly in school and is kicked off the sports teams  jonathon brandis is a nice surprise as matthew  who agrees to dress up as a girl named martha to help out chester  probably because the girl he has a crush on plays on the team  what original story ideas    what we get is just another retread of the  underdog sports team  mixed with some cross dressing  unfortunately  the film isnt smart enough to play upon the drag aspect  in fact  it downplays it so heavily its totally unbelievable  could it be any more obvious martha is a boy  he only wears a girls wig  without any makeup  and they dont even give him falsies  brandis doesnt bother to mimic a girls voice either  then there is a pointless scene where chester and matthew shop for a dress  but for what reason  martha is only seen on the soccer field  why would they buy a dress for her  just when we think the martha character is going to be useful  she disappears  and the story wanders aimlessly looking for a new plot to pick up on  when bess discovers whats really going on she breaks up with chester  and the relationship is forgotten about and the film focuses on the soccer team and the tension between chester and his boss  this film couldve been less bad had it been the cliche sports comedy  but it feels the need to go off on tangents that are completely unnecessary  and bad at that   theres just too much of a sitcom feel here  especially during the socalled serious moments  and all the confusion between the characters  ive seen worse movies than  ladybugs   but for some reason it contained some sort of bizarre charm  so even when it turns sour it doesnt seem as bad as it is  dangerfield finally gets his respect in the end  but at what a price  
neg	the happy bastards quick movie review the concept of enjoying a stupid comedy is best realized as keeping it stupid  really  shift gears even once and the audience can be thrown miserably out of control  sadly  that is the case with kingpin  a film directed by the farrelly brothers  the duo that brought us theres something about mary and dumb and dumber  since the duo directed and didnt write the script  i can assume thats part of the problem  the story seems good enough  a pro bowler in the 1970s by the name of roy munson  woody harrelson  is sitting on top of the world  his popularity has gone through the roof and hes getting his career off the ground  then  however  he runs into ed mccracken  bill murray   a rival bowler with hardly any real consideration for  well  anything  these two form an illtimed relationship that involves risky betting  and  before roy sees it coming  eds abandoned him and hes about to lose his hand in a bowling ball machine  forward seventeen years later  where roy has become quite the loser  complete with mechanical hand  tornup car  and  of course  the occasional knocking up of the uglyass landlord to avoid paying rent for a while  however  he finds a glimmer of a hope upon a visit to a local bowling alley  where he runs into an amish kid named ishmael  randy quaid   who has quite the bowling arm  with the kids help  he figures he can be known again  particularly at the biggest bowling tournament rapidly approaching in reno  nevada  of course  the amish kid needs some coaxing  particularly when you consider  well  hes amish  this leads to some of the best comic scenes in the film  such as roys process of removing horseshoes or milking the cow  finally  the duo get on the road and  along the way  pick up an additional helper a beautiful hustler  played by the gorgeous vanessa angel   the main problem i had with kingpin wasnt the fact it wasnt funny  in fact  it does have some rather hilarious scenes in it  such as the aformentioned above and roys explanation of not having children  something involving a cheese grater    but thats just it scenes  theres a couple of really serious scenes that throw off the entire momentum of the movie  like the abuse angel takes from her hustler exboyfriend  i mean  was this really necessary  couldnt have this been handled just a bit wackier  i mean  this is a comedy  why throw ethics in  particularly in a farrelly brothers vehicle  where hair gel can be easily mistaken  that really ruined it  however  and thats too bad  the acting is top notch  especially from angel and murray  and the really funny scenes are worth noting  still  if youre going to think dumb  think dumb all the way through  ok  at least the farrelly brothers got back on track with mary or id still be a little bit irked  
neg	 shagadellic     groovy  baby    smashing   adorn the 14 page ad for this movie tabbed as  the 1 comedy in america  as of may 8th  did we attend the same movie   at 87 minutes it seemed overlong  like a snl skit on steroids  and at any length it seemed unfunny  yes  the sets and costumes were an interesting exaggeration of 60s pop frills  and yes  the concept  dealing with a 60s secret agentpop icon  played by myers  awakened from his cryogenic slumber to battle his arch enemy  dr  evil  also played by myers  in the present day  had a great deal of potential  fun costumes and scenery and potential do not a movie make so lets throw in a hefty dose of bathroom humor  dont get me wrong  i like a good  bubbles in the bathtub joke  as much as the next person  but to have this type of humor be the funniest thing about your movie is a waste of yuor talent and my money  but  the way things work these days in the movie business  all a film has to do is call itself the funniest and people will believe it  i do give this film stars because of the sets  costumes  and sadly  unmet potential  
neg	robin williams  this time without a beard  returns to drama in this sloppy  sickly sweet fantasy with few redeeming features apart from the incredible effects  he plays chris nielsen  who meets annie  annabella sciora  and promptly marries her  they have two great kids  who sadly die in a car crash  just when it couldnt get any worse  chris gets killed in a car crash  and goes to heaven where he meets his guide albert  gooding jnr   annie cant take the grief anymore  and kills herself   all sounding like good fun so far   the penalty for suicide is to go to hell  and chris goes on a mission to try and rescue her using the help of the traveller  max von sydow   based on a novel by twilight zone writer richard matheson  what dreams may come is clunky  manufactured material doused with a extra load of sugar  this is the worse spielberg film spielberg never made  everything is wrong about this movie  the performances are forced  and the audiences fail to relate to any of the characters  williams puts on a convincing upset face  but thats all it is  a face  theres no emotion behind it  scioras performance is lazy  and bogs down the whole film  she may look pretty  but she cant act  max von sydow is o  k as the traveller  if nothing special  cuba gooding jnr  thankfully  adds some bounce to his performance  and is certainly the best performer in the film  its a shame that his character is so flat and 2d  and offers no room for improvement  all the performers have to work with a soppy script  that tries its best to get some emotion going  but never takes off the ground  there are some scenes which could be real heartwarmers  but the faceless characters dont help to get anything out of the performers  while films like e  t used great actors  music and direction to pull of a masterful hearttugging scene  what dreams may come is haphazard  expecting the emotion to come out of the scene automatically  instead  its all rather boring  sure  the music is pretty  by michael kamen  and the cinematography isnt bad  by eduardo serra  but theres something lacking  the script doesnt help  filled with hopeless romantic clich  s  and dud speeches  richard matheson can write some awesome science fiction stories  sadly this novel would look embarrassed in a bargain bin  let alone being converted into a 70 million vehicle for robin williams  despite being set in heaven  what dreams may come is mightily depressing  the film rushes a happy ending  but everything before this is very  very sad and black  which just adds to make the ending even more hopeless and stupid  but theres one redeeming feature about this failure of a movie  the special effects  heaven and hell are truly incredible places  and the actors fit perfectly with the virtual sets  but despite this  what dreams may come  proves to be nothing but the biggest disappointment of 1998  instead of raising questions about existence  it raises boredom  sadly  i recommend you give this film a miss  better luck next time  robin  a david wilcock review  1998  you know  for kids   norville barnes 
neg	the catch phrase for disneys rocket man is one spoken by fred z  randall  harland williams   the bumbling idiot computer programmer turned astronaut who continuously wreaks havoc everywhere he goes   it wasnt me   he proclaims over and over as the aftermath of his stupidity brings about looks of disgust from the others  well when it comes to this movie being as horrible as it is  williams cant take all the blame  but he sure cant justify himself with his own simple tag line either  fred has dreamed of space travel since he was a young boy  turning the clothes dryer into a mock space shuttle and staring out wideeyed at a poster of the earth  as a 30yearold  fred hasnt grown up much  but at least hes somewhat closer to his goal  now designing astronaut software for nasa  when an astronaut for an upcoming mission to mars becomes injured  nasa calls on the person who knows the programming inside and out to fill the void    fred  yes  although hes an obviously klutzy moron  nasa doesnt think twice about throwing him into a rigorous training program so he can assist one of the most important events the space program  and time itself  has ever known  for the first part of the film  we watch as fred takes on the training program much like an amusement park  he laughs  he screams  but he never once breaks a sweat or views the preparation as anything more than childs play  his passive approach to the program eventually leads to many recordbreaking feats  much to the dismay of cocky counterpart  mission commander captain overbeck  william sadler   who once held the records  overbeck will regretfully accompany fred and two others to the red planet  one being astronaut julie ford  the stupids jessica lundy   and the other being a chimpanzee who is much more civilized than our antagonizing protagonist  from here on out  we are subjected to one lame gag after another  dealing with snot  laxatives  and flatulence  you know  standard kid movie material  almost sounding like a poor james stewart impressionist  williams is awful in his first starring role  we get the feeling that if jerry lewis and peewee herman were related and produced an inbred offspring  williams would be it  while hes not as annoying as other actors who cater to zany  stupid comedy  hes just as unlikeable  to say it more understandably  jim carrey might annoy you more  but this guy is even less funny  why  because while he possesses the stupidness needed to pull off such a role  his performance is too understated and boring  classic comedic dunces were generally oblivious to their own idiocy  stan laurel  for example  was so innocent in all his troublemaking that we were immediately fond of him  peter sellers  as inspector clouseau  was so selfassured and confident that when he did something as simple as trip  it was humor at its best  williams  on the other hand  cant garner the pity he needs to make us love him in all his antiglory  as for the rest of the cast  including some bigger names in smaller roles  beau bridges and shelley duvall   nobody is worth watching whatsoever  this is just another example of the fastfood equivalent of cinema  massproduced  less than mediocre  over priced  and hard to stomach  giving it oneandahalf stars is  extremely  generous  but even ill admit to laughing a few times  the amazing thing is that even in a theater packed with little kids  laughter was something rarely heard  even from the children  i must admit that it gave me more respect for the kids when they didnt crack up over every little thing  then again  maybe they were asleep  some people might think critics are harsh on kid movies  claiming adults arent the targeted audience and therefore arent meant to  and wont  enjoy them  sadly  its also true that kids will enjoy almost anything if its presented right  a twohour still shot of a dog with a cartoonish voice over could entertain a lot of toddlers out there  but would that make it as artistic as beauty and the beast  which could easily do the same thing  and saying that a parents perspective isnt important is quite a poor theory to have when theyre the ones who take the kids to these films in the first place  
neg	based on the novel set in 1914 by joseph conrad  victory spins a tale of a pair of lovers  heyst  william dafoe  and alma  irene jacob   who seek refuge on heysts isolated island  however  their idyllic world begins to crumble upon the arrival of mr jones  sam neil   martin ricardo  rufus sewell  and their servant  pedro  graziano marcelli   who have come to steal heysts rumoured plunder  while the novel is largely complex in characterization  the film sadly transposes conrads characters into lacklustre leads  the most disappointing being heyst himself  conrads heyst adheres religiously to his late fathers ways of detachment and isolation  his ascetic lifestyle is thrown into question when he meets alma  a helpless orchestra girl who charms him with her voice  the struggle to embrace the arrival of alma into his solitude  however  is lost in mark peploes  director and writer  diluted version of heyst  without properly establishing the crucial details of heysts character  all that is left of conrads main character is a very shallow treatment of his internal conflict between detachment and human involvement  on the one hand  actualizing the subtext is a mammoth task  though not impossible   but on the other hand  dafoes flat acting cannot be excused as an attempt at stoicism  in the end  we are supposed to witness heyst renounce his philosophy and finally come to an understanding of what it is to love another  the final transformation  while perceptible  lacks the cathartic revelation which is undeniable in conrads novel  its absence in the film is unforgivable  the film seems more concerned about moving the plot along when so much has yet to be said about the relationship between the two complete strangers  alma is supposed to have overcome great emotional barriers in the relationship  namely heysts underlying philosophy of detachment  which heyst himself grapples with  the struggle against heysts ignorance of true human involvement accounts for much of the greatness of almas love for him  jacob  fairskinned  gentle and yet passionate  handles the role with precision  detailing nuances where possible  unfortunately  she is let down by a superficial script  the couples relationship develops too hastily  leaving all subtlety effaced and replaced with a blatant showandtell approach  all we know of the characters are mostly explained by their lines alone  this is unsatisfactory when so much of the turmoil experienced by the two stem from their buried thoughts and emotions  the sketchy handling of their relationship stands out as sorely as dafoes american accent  an inappropriate one since heyst spent most of his life in london   the other characters such as schomberg  jean yanne   the owner of a hotel  and mr jones  sam neill   also fall short of conrads meticulous characterization  while schomberg should have been more menacing and vindictive  mr jones should have been portrayed as something more of an enigma  sam neils caricature of a slightly stout  effeminate and softspoken gentlemanatlarge nullifies the effect intended by conrad who describes mr jones as  an insolent spectre on leave from hades  endowed with skin and bones and a subtle power of terror   poor characterization aside  kudos goes to rufus sewell for his excellent portrayal of ricardo  secretary to mr jones  a reckless ruffian capable of murder  sewell  with his cockney accent and large expressive green eyes  becomes the true terror of the unholy trinity  masterminding deceitful plans behind jones back  at the same time  we are entertained by the foolhardiness of his plans  despite the authentic setting and marvellous cinematography by bruno de keyzer  very few images are left behind for us to savour after the film has ended  sourabaya and its surrounding islands and volcanoes may have their charm  but mean nothing once the film fails to capture the essence of an epic  which is what victory deserves to be  the delicately interwoven complexities in the love story are lost to an inadequate production  at the end of the film  we are told that perhaps almas victory was in teaching heyst how to love  a hollow victory indeed  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	a couple of criminals  mario van peebles and loretta devine  move into a rich familys house in hopes of conning them out of their jewels  however  someone else steals the jewels before they are able to get to them  writer mario van peebles delivers a clever script with several unexpected plot twists  but director mario van peebles undermines his own high points with haphazard camera work  editing and pacing  it felt as though the film should have been wrapping up at the hour mark  but alas there was still 35 more minutes to go  daniel baldwin  i cant believe im about to type this  gives the best performance in the film  outshining the other talented members of the cast  r 
neg	chill factor is a carbon copy of speed with one notable exception  instead of a speeding bus  we now have an ice cream truck  the truck is driven by arlo  cuba gooding jr   and mason  skeet ulrich   who have been instructed by a dying scientist to transport a deadly chemical weapon to a military base by the name of fort mcgruder  this particular weapon  nicknamed elvis  must be kept below a temperature of 50 degrees  or else the shockwave will gooiffy everything in a mile radius  that would be pretty nasty  the power of elvis is revealed in the opening scene  as dr  richard long  david paymer  conducts a test on an isolated tropical island  long accidentally melts 18 soldiers and defoliates virtually the entire island  due to an enormously miscalculated safety distance  the commanding officer  general brynner  peter firth   is sentenced to 10 years in prison for the murder of his troops  upon his release  the general is intent on tracking the good doctor down  snatching elvis  and selling the weapon to the highest international bidder  protecting the fate of the world is a drifting hamburger flipper  ulrich  and a feisty ice cream delivery man  gooding jr    who must elude brynners men and get elvis to safety at fort mcgruder  all the while  of course  they must keep the weapon below 50 degrees  this proves to be tricky  among the wild adventures arlo and mason partake in is a trip down a treecovered mountainside in a boat  and a fist fight on top of a moving vehicle  they also crack a few dozen witty retorts that we are supposed to find amusing  to put it simply  ill use a clever pun  chill factor should be put on ice  director hugh johnson has mixed elements from speed  broken arrow and the lethal weapon series to create a lifelessly bland cocktail of a chase movie  when there is some occasional action  the audience seems oddly detached from it  perhaps thats because weve already waded through a pool of clich  s and boring dialogue  all material thats been used before  and with a lot more spice  take the villains  for example  they are typical stereotypes of every terrorist that has ever walked the silver screen  they speak lines that have been recycled profusely from one movie to the next  divulge important plot details while holding their enemies at gunpoint  and act in very predictable ways  the tagteam of gooding jr  and ulrich sounds much more exciting than it is  frankly  im not sure i can accept cuba as an ice cream man  i suppose its better than him dressed like a giant hot dog  selling jumbo frankfurters on a street corner  gooding displays one single emotion in this movie  which is frequently on display in lines like im gonna get on yo ass like last years underwear   and the incessant sputtering of oh  sh  t   this is virtually the same character he played in jerry maguire and as good as it gets  but where gooding was once an exciting actor  he now seems dull and endlessly monotonous  at least hes a bit more captivating than ulrich  who has all the films worst dialogue  but does nothing noticeable to enliven his character  the supporting cast  which includes every personality you expect to pop up  is also wasted  to be fair  there are a few brief moments of serviceable action  and i did chuckle a few times  one example is when ulrich  an employee at darlenes diner  is at the counter when brynner walks through the door  you own this place   the general asks  yeah   ulrich says  they call me darlene   these little tidbits of humor are  mainly  welcome in this weak  disappointing wreckage of an action film  as a speed clone  it could have benefited from a lot more suspense and perhaps  god forbid  even some decent writing  sadly  i walked away from chill factor only wondering how much fun it could have been  
neg	   warning  the following review contains spoilers    cast  gary sinise  don cheadle  connie nielsen  jerry oconnell  kim delaney  tim robbins  elise neal  jill teed  jody thompson  bill timoney written by  jim thomas  john thomas and graham yost directed by  brian depalma running time  115 minutes the first big event movie of 2000 turns out to be anything but  gary sinise stars as an astronaut who is removed from a mars mission when his astronaut wife  maggie  kim delaney   becomes ill and passes away  don cheadle is then given the mission along with a russian couple and a young hotshot  when a strange whirlwind shot from the top of a mars mountain range attacks the crew of the mission  sinise and robbins convince their superior to let them  neilsen  and oconnell perform a rescue mission for whatever crew might be remaining  what they discover on the surface of the planet will dramatically change their lives forever  although no one watching the film will come away profoundly affected   before i ever saw the film  i was aware of the promotional campaign with dr  pepper  every time i would see a bottle of the soft drink  the mission to mars logo was emblazoned upon it  little did i know that the plot would be taking a back seat to the product placement of the drink and several other products  dr  pepper saves the day at one point  and a dream sequenceflashback features jerry oconnell shoving mms in our face  these are but a couple of the ridiculous examples of product placement scattered throughout the film  clich  s are also the order of the day with mission to mars  dialogue and character motivations are all lifted directly from countless other science fiction films that have all done it better and with more style  even independence day  which lifted all of its premises from other scifi films was better than this film  and i dont like independence day   films like 2001  a space odyssey  the abyss  and close encounters of the third kind are all blatantly stolen from  and poorly at that   there is even a sequence where a rover is traveling through a canyon  and i couldnt help but whisper  utinni  to myself and wait for a jawa to quickly hide in the rocks before the rover could get a glimpse of it  this film also features one of my alltime least favorite movie clich  s  the  he would have wanted you to have this  moment  where one character gives another a trinket that yet another character is established as constantly having  and is usually made fun of by the character who ends up getting all sappy over it later on   scenes like these always bother me when they come out of nowhere in regular films  but in a film as clich  ridden as this  it is particularly irritating  ennio morricones music is usually considered to be some of the best stuff in the projects he works on  but here it is dreadfully overbearing  his music sounds like it came straight out of a vincent price movie in certain scenes  at other times his music is unbearably overdramatic  one sequence involving a daring spacewalk rescue is given a particularly cheesy sting when it is discovered that the grappling hook device used for the rescue wont reach its intended target  mission to mars is push button filmmaking to the greatest extreme  events are set into motion that are obvious to anyone who has ever seen a movie and seem like they are just there to evoke an emotional response in the audience  we are apparently supposed to be upset that tim robbins character removes his helmet in deep space and kills himself to save his wife  but i felt extreme boredom coupled with a twinge of disinterest  what makes it all worse is that fact that there is no real reason that robbins character needs to turn himself into a popsicle  except to invoke an emotional response  i could think of at least one way to save him  and the nasa clowns in this film are supposed to be  smarter  than i am   during the finale  when we are finally introduced to the translucent  conehead  kittyfaced aliens that we ostensibly sprung from  we are presented with some of the most ridiculously cartoonish cgi ever put to film  just slightly worse than the plane crash at the end of air force one or the hell scenes in spawn   a brief history lesson about  where we came from  is proffered  then sinise is whisked away to be with  the rest of our people   he does this because his late wife proclaims in a video he watches early on that  this is a chance to step foot where no one else has    from the press ive been seeing this film receive  it is apparent that mission to mars will be dying a quick death at the theater  im sure the first weekend or two will be huge  but once word gets out people will stop going  lets just hope the upcoming red planet is better than this and isnt hurt by the negativity this film is generating  id venture to say it wont be worse than this waste of time  pg 
neg	retrospective  city of the living dead  1980  a film review by mike watson copyright 1997 mike watson i once heard someone describe the films of italian schlock horror director lucio fulci as  dimwitted   and by golly  just about all other words fail me when confronted with a dog like city of the living dead  although the late fulci managed some rather good thrillers in his career  this is not one of them  two points in the movies favour  the impressive camerawork of sergio salvati and occasionally evocative score by fabio frizzi  keep things from falling totally into the abyss  but by and large city of the living dead is a failure  and like most cinematic failures  it comes down to bad writing  dumb performances and lousy direction  the story starts in new york when  during a seance  a medium  katherine mccoll  sees a vision of a priest hanging himself in the town of dunwich  massachusetts  for reasons we wont go into here  this opens the gates of hell which must be closed by all saints day or the dead will rise and walk the earth  the medium apparently dies of fright during the seance  but awakens in her coffin in the graveyard the next day and is rescued by a crusty old journalist  christopher george   that scene in itself is a howler  why would you bust open a coffin with a large pick axe when you know someone is alive inside  and dont cadavers have various things stuffed in them and drained out of them before theyre buried  anyway  off the two of them go to dunwich to save the world  where various grisly goingson are already happening as all saints day approaches  fulcis graphic gore is in evidence once again  but here it only serves to further highlight the films flimsy script and plodding direction  the dialogue  in all manner of speaking  is unspeakable  not bad in the quotable sense  like an ed wood film  but bad in its sheer dullness or blatantly obvious  lets explain the plot  type approach  mccoll doesnt have a clue who her character is  deadly serious one minute  frivolous the next  she at times is genuinely hard to watch  and the geezer  the actors name escapes me  who plays the town psychiatrist becomes even harder to stomach than mccoll as the film progresses  christopher georges performance is salvageable  but he gets his brains ripped out in the end by a zombie and we dont care  in fact we dont care for anyone in city of the living dead  though in other fulci films that hasnt mattered so much when he was on form as a stylist and an ideas man  as he was in the beyond  as a director  some of fulci idiosyncrasies are incredibly silly and annoying here  he constantly uses extreme closeups of peoples eyes  a ridiculous technique which suggests an attempt to convey the emotion that his dialogue and actors arent capable of  and despite some gruesome violence  he barely manages a single scare in the entire film  longtime collaborator fabio frizzi  talented but always erratic  offers a patchy soundtrack that veers between eerie  gothic death marches and woefully inappropriate electropop thats quite frankly embarrassing  fulcis other films of this period may be flawed  house by the cemetery  the beyond  the black cat  but they are nonetheless films with more inspiration  atmosphere and better dialogue than this turkey  for completists only  
neg	you know the plot  a dimwit with a shady past is seduced into committing a crime only to be doublecrossed by a fatal femme  in  palmetto   the dimwit is harry barber  woody harrelson   a reporter whos just been released from prison  he was framed by the gangsters and corrupt officials he was investigating   enter la femme  rhea malroux  elisabeth shue   the sexy young wife of the richest man in palmetto  florida  rolf hoppe   she and her stepdaughter odette  chlo  sevigny  have a plot to extort 500k from the old man  harry will  kidnap  odette  after groping both women  harry agrees  as everyone except harry can see  hes being set up as a fall guy  sure enough  before long  harry has a dead body in his trunk and the cops on his tail  his brotherinlaw  tom wright   an assistant da  has hired harry to be the press liaison for the case  so harry gets a front row seat for his own manhunt  and we get to watch him sweatliterally   there are several plot twists  of coursea couple of them even took me by surprise  apparently every woman in palmetto is a raving horndog  and theyre on harry like hes the only bone in the kennel  shue vamps so broadly that i expected tex averys wolf to show up  her incredible performance in  leaving las vegas  seems to have been a fluke  here  she could easily be mistaken for melanie griffith  shues character is supposed to be a savvy schemer but she comes off as a brainless bimbo  in addition to shue and sevigny  the kennel includes gina gershon  who filled the dimwitwithashadypast role in  bound   as harrys girlfriend nina  when harry gets out of jail  she licks his face  now theres a horndog   the parts are so overplayed that with a little push  palmetto  could have been an overthetop parody of film noir a la  romeo is bleeding   as it is  its best watched at 2am on showtime  the love scenes seem to have been written for one of that channels soft porn programs anyway    palmetto  has a wellknown director  volker schl  ndorff  whos best known for his adaptations of major literary works  especially  the tin drum   i suppose he must have been drawn to this plotbynumbers script by the same admiration for classic film noir that led scorsese to remake  cape fear   schl  ndorff tries hardhe makes an interesting motif out of the ubiquitous palmetto bugsbut nothing can freshen up this stale script  
neg	the cometdisaster flick is a disaster alright  directed by tony scott  top gun   it tells the story about an asteroid the size of texas caught on a collision course with earth  and you thought that dinky little comet in deep impact was trouble  jeez  after a great opening  in which an american spaceship  plus the city of new york  are completely destroyed by a comet shower  nasa detects the said asteroid and go into a frenzy  they hire the worlds best oil driller  bruce willis   and send him and his crew up into space to fix our globel problem  thats like sending a mouse into a cat carrier  isnt it  the action in armageddon are so over the top  nonstop  and too ludicrous for words  i had to sigh and hit my head with my notebook a couple of times  i was not alone  plus  to see a wonderful actor like billy bob thornton is a film like armageddon is a waste of the actors talents  the film is just a reel to show off a bunch of snazzy fx shots  the only real reason for making this film was to somehow outperform deep impact  producer jerry bruckheimer fails with armageddon  
neg	years ago  robin williams made jumanji  a brilliant achievement in special effects  but a travesty on nearly every other level  the same can be said for what dreams may come  a boring  illogical  weepiewannabe that left my senses numb  dont get me wrong  i love breathtaking special effects and pulsepounding imagery  brazil is on my personal top ten  the city of lost children is a great film because of its outlandish scenarios  i even love 2001 and last year at marienbad  being in the minority amidst my friends  what dreams may come  imagery aside  has little daring thought to complement its imagery  the daring thought it does have is never fully realized  its idea of a plot is so lukewarm  that it insults the bigger questions it raises  it would have been better if the filmmakers rid the film of the live action sequences  put on an electronica soundtrack  and sell it as one of those popular minds eye videos  robin williams plays chris nielsen  who dies too prematurelynot only in the story  but before we have a chance to really know and care for him  the director  vincent ward  and the screenwriter ronald bass  have chosen to tell his life story in flashbacks while having the foreground story focus on his experience with the afterlife  big mistake  it would have been far better to take the halfhour or so needed to tell his life story first  ala its a wonderful life   so that i can build up respect for him  so i could know and possibly care for him  his children  and his longsuffering wife  played superbly by annabella sciorra   instead  the filmmakers insult my intelligence by rushing into the story  expecting that the film to grow in depth as it progresses  it doesnt  so in the afterlife  chris learns that  a  people still dont meet god   b  that our thoughts are reality  and  c  time does not exist there  hmm    ill grant one of those silly giant ideas for the sake of the narrative   the  not meeting god  part still irks at me  but perhaps there was no possible way to film it and give it due respect   that said  this alternate reality still makes no possible sense  read on    chris wife commits suicide  since suicides go to hell  chris would be separated from his wife forever  the important question is  is heaven really heaven if you are separated from the one you love  good question  and i like good thoughtprovoking questions  i dont like it when the filmmakers deviate from the question  i loathe it when the filmmakers deviate from the question so that the film becomes a popular rescue film  especially a rescue film which does not take its underlying premise seriously  i really loathe it when its story is no longer run by logic  but by special effects  hey chris  did you forget  your thoughts are real  they are more real than the physical world  according to the newage screenplay  so  why dont you conjure up positive thoughts of annie  and let that run wild  and then she would appear before you  and you two would live in happy bliss for eternity  because there would be no movie  thats why  and albert the angel  played by miscast cuba gooding  jr   says bluntly   thats fantasy   umm    if your thoughts are more real than the physical  then fantasy is not fantasy  but real  surely some eastern meditation specialist would be able to tell you that  and if you happen to think that you are an unimaginative person  and that your thoughts arent big enough to sustain you for eternity  well  in all due respect  thats why i dont subscribe to this theology  all due respect  another idea  based on  time   pause   does not exist here   so chris  spend your eternity with annie  as she is on earth  reliving your favorite memories  or hang out with her when she was growing up  youve got eternity  perhaps you can hang around long enough and learn not to freak her out  and forcing her to write  i still exist  in her diary  imo  is just too tacky  there are many other ideas  all of which are a hundred times better than whats unraveled in the plot  the great aforementioned question is sidetracked into gimmicky subplots that have been done before  and just come out stale  most insulting is the subplot where important people in chris life appear in heaven differently than he expects  so when they finally show themselves  he realizes they were with him all along  and when this happens  the film runs in slow motion  as if to build emotion  gag me with a spoon  so the only things for me to like are sciorras effective performance  who rises far above this mundane material  and the special effects  please note that while i enjoyed some of the visuals  i did not enjoy all of them  some of the images looked like sandy duncan universe  everybody floating up and down in invisible strings  it sounds like a joke  but its really true  i really tried to block out the dialogue  and figure out what music would best work as an alternative soundtrack  my vote goes to a rare cd called  never say die   1981  from petra  a christian rock group  its pretty good  and they have a song about annie  who commits suicide   its too late for annieshes gone away for goodtheres so much wed have told herand now we wish we couldbut its too late      melancholic  yes  depressing  yes  but far more entertaining    so  in case you dont know  let me be straight  suicidebad  dont do it  no  no  no   got it  you shouldnt have to pay 7  50 to hear this in an awful robin williams schmaltzfest   
neg	the original babe was my favorite movie of 1995  a sleeper hit that transcended its target audience  being a surprise commercial and critical success  it had no marketing tieins  which limited its final take  thus  babe 2 arrives  with a budget greater than the money made in babe 1  plush dolls  vending machines hawking tshirts  and macys thanksgiving day balloons arrive for holiday moneygrubbing  too late  this is a sad review to write  because babe 2 not only does not live up to the original  but it doesnt even come to a fraction of it  i shouldnt expect that sequels to modern fairy tales to match their predecessors magic  but this film tries too hard  and loses its charm  consider a driver applying the accelerator with great intensity  unaware that his car is in neutral  imagine with me  if you will  screams jamie kennedy  explaining the  rules  for sequels like babe 2   1  there must be more talking animals   2  there must be more slapstick comedy   3  there must be more songs for those mice to sing  thats cute   4  keep the story cards to break up the action  thats cute too  even though  the pig gets wise  made no sense  given the context of that story partition   5  there must be action  however illogical  that will conjure up pivotal scenes from the original  the trademark song that nobody remembers the words to  the baaramewe secret code  the  thatll do  pig  thatll do   now throw in the limitations   a  james cromwell  now a hot commodity  has limited time on the set  or maybe he didnt approve of the script    b  christine cavanaugh  the voice of the original babe  demands more money  200  000paltry considering the 80 million budget   out  e  g  daily comes in with noticable results   c  george miller  the director  is more wellknown for his dark futuristic mad max films and his twilight zone segment  not for kiddie fare  and no  he didnt direct that andre film in 94    d  the special effects are impressive  but limited  babe talks  but most of the time from a single shot  repeated over and over again   babe is center screen  looking straight into the camera  with a happy smirkregardless of whether hes happy  or scared  or tired   season now with the  original  elements  which  as we will find out  are straight from the screenwritingishell bin   i  change the venue into  the big city   this has been praised as wildly original  excuse me  didnt home alone do this several years ago  how about the muppets  even the bad news bears travelled to tokyo  sorry  no dice  side note  to give the city a fairytale look  george miller crafted a fantastical fantasyland that merges the landmarks of the worlds great cities  and yes  it is impressive  but this too is overused  repeating the same view over and again on multiple occasions  and  for the most part  babe remains in the hotel   ii  given the limitations of cromwell  the human element is taken over by  the boss wife  played by magda szubanski  stretch  shes not a lead actresstype  shes not funny enough in her physical comedy  and shes simply embarrassing in some of her pratfalls   have her arrested falsely on drug charges  have her accidentally incite a riot with biker dudes and scantily clad babes  have her bounce around on a bungee cord at a prestigious benefit dinner   i was hoping for a little smirk during these scenes  but i felt sorry for the embarrassment that she put herself in  i am restraining myself from talking about the dark nature of the film  the violence  the scene where a pit bull dangles from the bridge  head submerged underwater  even the best fairy tales have a bit of the macabre in it  as the brothers grimm have demonstrated  no    my problem is with the story  or lack thereof  babe is sent out to save the hoggett farm  but once in the city  that story is forgotten  being a goodnatured pig in the midst of the cynicism of his environs is nice  but  other than rescue that aforementioned pit bull  what did babe actually do  without giving the ending away  the farm is saved from a leftfield quirk that had nothing to do with the pig  speaking of  pig   or   pigpigpigpigpig    the word  pig  is so overused  had they changed it to an expletive  and had the pig be al pacino  i could have been watching scarface  this is screenwriting  further  i cannot explain the deep gnaw at my gut in the many scenes where accidents happen to good people in fantastically elaborate setups  had it been a cartoon  and the victim be an equivalent of elmer fudd  maybe my reaction would have been softened  but to farmer hoggett  his wife  an elderly mickey rooney  much too irreverent    quick  splice those singing mice into those scenes     the film isnt a colossal failure  i did like glenne headleys schmoozy chimpanzee  i liked the pink poodle  the dog on the cart  who momentarily thinks hes in dog heaven  and a weird looking guy who may have been doublycast as an airport employee and a judge  but most of the time  i was looking down  in boredom  or in embarrassment over the hackedup script  them singing mice  those chapter partitions  the proficient acting of the animals none of these can compensate for a story  let me spoil the final scene  farmer hoggett looks at pig  proud  says  thatll do  pig  thatll do   thats it  hope i didnt ruin it for you  but tell me this  what the heck did that pig do  
neg	at first i was intrigued by the strange cast and odd creatures on the galaxy quest trailer  but that was before i saw the film  now my view has completely changed  its time to embrace for impact  because this is a very bumpy ride  the story begins with the cast of galaxy quest including  jason nesmith  tim allen   alexander dane  alan rickman   gwen demarco  sigourney weaver  signing autographs at a convention  they meet fans who dress up in costumes  fans who worship the ground they walk on  and a group of aliens called thermians who believe that they are the ultimate saviors against the dreaded alien colony lead by sarris  robin sachs   of course they are unaware of this until they actually begin performing their duties  and meet the ugly aliens themselves  thus begins the long adventure to help save the thermians  the movie plays like a really bad star trek episode  in fact its worse  i dont even think trekkies will appreciate this weak spoof  because quite frankly its just not funny  all the jokes are basically collected observations from the series  one such continuous joke involves a simple crew member who believes he will die in space  because no extra on the tv show ever lives  as proven in the star trek series  creative jokes like this may seem like a clever idea  but not when they are used to death  a person can only take so much  we do not need to be tortured  especially when you have to pay for it  its pretty bad when even tim allen is pitiful  its not like i expected an oscar worthy performance form him  but a few laughs would have been helpful  speaking of acting  2 fine talents were wasted as well  sigourney weaver was here to show cleavage  well at least it worked  its pretty bad when the only entertaining value of the film is cleavage  it just shows you how disgraceful the film really is  alan rickman however was not so lucky  after his last hit  dogma  he embarrasses himself by doing this sloppy mess  its just a shame to see talented actors and actresses throw their ability away  when the film couldnt get any worse  thankfully some nice special effects pop up  like many big blockbusters  armageddon  the haunting to name a few  they rely heavily on effects to help boost the films box office results  times it works  but unfortunately we have to shell out hard earned money and suffer through this junk  when will it stop  i am getting tired of being suckered into seeing such trash  it may look fine and dandy  but we need to at least have a story  is that too much to ask  obviously it is  when galaxy quest finally ends  it literally crash lands  aside from the impressive looking creatures from industrial light and magic  its an embarrassment to the cast  and its embarrassing to the science fiction genre  its not the least bit fun  nor was it entertaining  the only place where this movie belongs is to infinity and beyond  
neg	the makers of spawn have created something almost as vacuous as this summers other comic book adaptation  batman and robin  both films make the mistake of adapting for the screen not only the look of their graphic counterparts  but also their monosyllabic dialogue and emptyheaded character motivations  in panelsized morsels  implausible plots and  rambo  esque dialogue are often overshadowed by the artwork  but on thirty foot silver screens  its much more difficult to dismiss the shallowness behind the pretty pictures  spawn is ostensibly about an assassin named simmons  white  who is framed by a corporate baddie  played without irony by sheen   then set on fire and left for dead  though the movie skimps on the next few plot points  heres what i could determine  said assassin then becomes the leader of satans army  under the tutelage of a flatulating midget named clown  leguizamo  grating as always   he is renamed  for reasons unbeknownst  spawn  and granted a really cool costume that enables him to become something of a human chameleon  but when spawn spies on a birthday party for his child  he realizes that he cant be the evil superdemon hes expected to be  and he sets about avenging his untimely death  typical of summer blockbusters  spawn is an effectsladen ninety minute rock video  while the visions of hell are laughably crude  think the virtual reality sequences of the lawnmower man   spawns prehensile outfit and the action sequences are truly something to behold  but the storytelling is completely lacking in emotion  spawn longs for his wife  but they dont have a single scene together before simmons death    conflict  who will triumph is not anybodys guess   and believability  not that i expected it   so many questions are left unanswered  and im sure they wont be addressed in the inevitable sequel  while last years the crow  city of angels suffered similar problems with its narrative  which was lazy and somewhat incoherent   it had atmosphere to spare and genuine moments of hypnotic power  spawn is an inyourface  screaming banshee of a film  these guys know how to graft a comic book onto celluloid  but they havent the faintest idea how to make a movie  
neg	phaedra cinema  the distributor of such neverheardof classics as  soft toilet seats    trailer  the movie   and  the one armed boxer vs  the flying guillotine   has sneaked its latest release   the sculptress   into a few theaters this weekend hoping to cash in on a handful of halloween holidaygoers looking for a right good scare   the sculptress  is a scary proposition all right  but not in the way its producers intended  from the outset its easy to see why some of the larger  more reputable chains arent carrying it  the film looks like a straighttovideo release from the early 80s thats been dusted off  not very carefully  and reissued in theatrical format  that staple of schlocky zmovies jeff fahey   the lawnmower man   plays a washedup shakespearean actor lacking in some basic people skills  when hes not reliving his glory days in his ramshackle nob hill apartment  screaming scotchinduced  hamlet  soliloquies well into the night  hes out and about on the streets of san francisco stalking loose women  faheys dobie sizes up his victims  actually just one  a peep show performer name of sylvie  dressed like one of the guys from kraftwerk  and approaches them in the ridiculous attire of a bavarian count replete with a cane  dark glasses  and a false beard  just in time for halloween     do you have a castle   sylvie asks dobie seductively when he flashes the bulging contents of his wallet outside a coffee shop   jah  with ze many turrets  is dobies perplexing reply  the real  star  of the film  and i use that term extremely loosely  is katie wright  who plays the sculptress of the title  sarah is new in town  studying at the prestigious sf art institute under the mentorship of a  genius  frenchman  played by the beretwearing patrick bauchau  thats convenient  because sarah would one day like to live and work in paris  you wont believe the films final shot  with its cheesy eiffel tower backdrop and  rosemarys baby  inspired imagery   bauchaus character criticizes sarahs work publicly  her clay busts keep turning into gargoylesperhaps shes possessed    by an incubus     but he still manages to talk her into dinner  whereas wright does a decent english accent  her talents pretty much end there  on the other side of the wall  dobies troubled past is succinctly summarized in a scene in which he thumbs through an old scrapbook of newspaper clippings with headings like  actor delivers a stunning macbeth   actor courted by hollywood studio    actor renounces hollywood for priesthood   and  prostitute fingers priest in sex scandal   the films plot could have been just as easily condensed   artist moves in next door to shakespearean psychopath    yawns ensue   so dobie rants and raves and sarah chips away at large blocks of granite till way past their bedtimes  late in the film  their paths finally cross with mindnumbing results  nobody else in the apartment complex appears to mind all the racket  but one old dear does go ballistic when sarahs bathtub overflows  no  we dont see wright in the tub  or fahey for that matter   and the gore quotient is virtually nil  so for a horror film  the sculptress  is surprisingly lacking  the only thing worth looking at is san francisco  and writerdirector ian merrick manages to make even it look dreary  windswept  and deserted   the sculptress  isnt even bad enough to be fun  luckily  a limited release has made it easy to avoid  
neg	here is a movie that sadly follows the hong kongrecipe of moviemaking and storytelling to the letter  these kinds of movies are marked by an eyeopening sequence that introduces us to the main characters  a lifeanddeath plot in which these characters become involved  the inclusion of a host of inconsequential characters  ridiculous subplots  and sunglasswearing henchmen  that is not to say that i dont like hong kong influenced movies  however  it is quite obvious that these moviemakers havent a clue that the american filmgoer needs more than hiphoptalking thugs and stupid sight gags  observe the opening sequence  a band of hitmen are about to storm an apartment  led by melvin  mark wahlberg  and cisco  lou diamond phillips   they are waiting for their partner to cut off the power so that they can storm the apartment with the help of infrared goggles  however  their partner is unsure of which cable to cut  he is undecided  this happens for about 10 seconds  the audience finds some humor in his foolishness  the lights suddenly go out  cisco is surprised and says   whoa    lets go   and they storm the apartment in a very nicely executed sequence  the big hit of the title refers to a kidnapping that happens a quarter of the way through the film  needing cash  cisco devises a plan to kidnap the daughter  china chow  of wealthy japanese industrialist jiro nishi  however  the daughter is also the goddaughter of paris  avery brooks   who is ciscos and melvins boss  infuriated and insufferable  paris commands cisco to uncover the mastermind of the kidnapping  during his investigation  cisco singles out melvin as the ringleader  and paris orders his capture and execution  melvin must now find a way to stay alive  by the way  do you know how the investigation takes place  ciscos partner makes the ransom phone call believing that his call will not be traced because of a trace buster that prevents tracing  but  mr  nishi has a trace buster buster  to counter that  ciscos partner has a trace buster buster buster  but nishi has a trace buster buster buster buster  and so on    there is no doubt that this is an interesting world in which they live  and there are lots of issues that wed like to know more about  how does melvin justify his profession to his fiancee  what goes on among this clique  why is cisco at odds with melvin  there is actually a lot of potential material that could have been explored  but it seems that no effort is made to go in that direction  and instead we are given a notsoengrossing plot filled with oneliners  silly sight gags  extraneous subplots and tomfoolery  and  i havent even mentioned his financees visiting parents who want them to separate  nor melvins mistress  nor the pimplefaced video clerk demanding the return of an overdue video and on and on and on  if the big hit signals the future of hong kong style movies that are made for american audiences  then shoot me now  
neg	after the huge success of  the exorcist  in 1973 a sequel was inevitable  and sadly like most horror fims that make money  the filmmakers decided to make a ridiculous sequel  that makes absolutely no sense at all  and to me was extremely pointless  wasting linda blair and max von sydow completely  needless  dumb sequel flopped in the box office  and never gained much success though it is voted as one of the worst sequels of all time  to which i agree with  to start the  story  it is four years later  and regan is being tormented by memories of what used to be  now a priest played by richard burton  is trying to figure out why this demon tried to possess regan  and now the demon somehow wants to possess her again  maybe she was good or something   now they must try to stop this demon from taking over regans body  before it is too late  some of the bad things exorcist ii has in it is  linda blair  she had no need to revive her character  and she is really terrible in this film  she brings it down to a lull  and in places it seems like it just stops in its place  and doesnt go anywhere  louise fletcher is alright for what its worth  but she could have done a lot better than this  the direction by john boorman  is that of a confused  stylish nature that i really couldnt figure out  in fact  i had no idea what was going on in this film  the script was jumbled  the plot was jumbled  and the ending is just laugh out loud hilariosly bad  for those exorcist fans who havent seen this one  i recommend renting it  i actually gave this one a high rating  if it were any worse it would have deserved zero pumpkins  i went easy on it however because of the fact that it has a bit of good direction  but nothing else  im not saying i like the film now  so dont start going anywhere  bad  bad  bad movie  
neg	the people who populate the movie 54 are shallow  selfabsorbed and selfindulgent  in other words  they perfectly mirror the era as well as the movie this feature depicts  54 is the story of that wellpublicized new york disco  studio 54  the inplace in the 70s where anybody who was anybody went to be ogled  photographed and pampered  the difficulty with 54  which was written and directed by mark christopher  is that his script takes no point of view  christopher neither condemns nor glorifies the legendary excesses that were studio 54s hallmark  he keeps an uninvolved distance  thus keeping us from forming any emotional attachment with any of the protagonists  the movies one main asset is the surprising performance by mike myers as steve rubell  the famous owner of the nightspot  he is part rebel  part dreamer  part shrewd entrepreneur  hes smart enough and childlike enough to pander to the dreams and desires of his clientele  yet stupid enough to brag on tv about hiding profits from the irs  myers  in his first straight character part  is in turn appealing and appalling  at one moment he can try to pressure a male employee into a sexual situation  then at the next moment apologize for his bad behavior and offer the young man a handful of cash  the story is told by shane oshea  ryan phillippe   a new jersey lad who dreams of crossing the river to the big apple  shades of john travoltas brooklynbound tony in saturday night fever  eventually  shane does come to new york  attracts rubells eye and is admitted to the promised land  his looks get him a job as a busboy  and he is later promoted to the prestigious position of bartender  where he mixes with and makes drinks for the rich and famous  shanes dream is to meet soap star julie black  neve campbell   a fellow garden stater  but both characters are so sketchily drawn that even when they do hook up  its no big deal  the chemistry between shane and julie is nonexistent  54 is a very cold  uninvolving movie  its all strobe lights and glitz  all substance  its sort of like the musical era it covers  
neg	ive always been a kevin kline fan  silverado  fish called wanda  pirates of penzance  and even his hamlet on pbs great performances  the minute i saw the trailer for this film  i resolved to see it  besides the fact that kline starred  it looked like a hilarious film  i got sucker punched by the trailer to an extent  however  as i also thought   wow  if theres this much funny stuff in the trailer  there must be a ton of laughs in the rest of the film    oops  i packed up the wife and headed to les cinemas del diablo  my name for our local multimultiplex   the film began     the film concerns an englishdrama teacher at a suburban high school  named howard brackett  he loves poetry and great literary works  but his class is more interested in his famous former student  played by matt dillon   id put in his name  but my wife wont let me take notes during a movie and ive forgotten it   they continually interrupt his long poetic expositions with fawning questions about him  brackett has been engaged to another teacher  played by joan cusack  for three years  and has finally gotten up the gumption to marry her  the wedding  however  becomes the big question mark of the film as this famous student of his says during the live oscar broadcast that brackett is a homosexual  kline spends most of the first twothirds of the film frantically trying to convince everyone that he isnt  the whole town begins to examine every detail of his life and begins to identifying all those things that confirm his sexual preference  his closest friends dont help matters  bringing nothing but barbara streisand laserdiscs to his stag party  there are some genuinely hilarous moments  one involving a tape geared towards helping men assert their masculinity  kline is hounded by a gay reporter played by tom selleck  who waxes poetic on the benefits of coming out  while at the same time doing his best to exploit the situation for his own sleazy tabloid machinations  the movie moves along fine and slowly builds to the climax of the wedding  kline stands at the altar and is asked to take his vows    if you want to be surprised  dont read  i am going to reveal the ending     instead of saying  i do  in front of his parents and most of the town  and even some cameras  he says  im gay   this is where the movie  in my opinion falls apart  most of the humor in the film had come from klines insistence that he was straight  while at the same time  loving poetry and being a senstivie guy  dressing well  and occaisionally acting prissy  it reminded me of the  effeminate heterosexual  sketch from saturday night live  it was funny  it was sustainably funny  and klines performance made it doubly so  however  after the wedding  the film drags on  they should have attempted to come to a quick conclusion  but it then gets into the serious side of what hes done  he reconciles with his parents and his friends  some of which had turned on him  there are several scenes which seemed like a waste of time  the scene with his mother and her friends  which was hilarious  seemed pointless  and the scene with tom selleck in the bar with joan seemed pointless  finally  even though i am not catholic  i found the scene with the priest to be condescending  the preist cannot believe that a man was engaged for three years and had not consumated the relationship  proclaiming to brackett in the third person   hes gay   it got a chuckle from the audience  but i was distracted by it  and began to tire of the film  by the time the wedding had come and gone  i found myself hoping it would be over soon   much like this review you are saying  overall  if i have to quantify it  i say  rising action gets     and climax and falling action gets  see it in economy time  
neg	a month ago i wrote that speed 2 was the worst film ive ever reviewed on paper  i didnt know at the time that id soon encounter and despise batman  robin  which has just overtaken speed 2 as the picture least worthy of your attention this summer  as directed by joel schumacher  who now specializes in batman sequels and john grisham adaptations and isnt very good at either   b  r is one long excuse for a taco bell promotion  the plot  which has mr  freeze and poison ivy  uma thurman  planning to take over gotham city and then  the vorld   as an oddly ineffective schwarzenegger states   is weighted down by repetitive asides about the nature of trust  partnership  blah  blah  blah  but morals are not the point of this filmtopping each bloated  confusing action scene with next one is  the garish art direction and overlit cinematography make this picture oddly comparable to the trashy showgirls  since when did gotham city become a giant las vegas hotel  only george clooney comes out on top  he underplays nicely and pretends like hes in a real movie  
neg	call  hush   stop or my mom will kill   or  mommy fearest   or  the hand that robs the cradle   call it whatever you want  but certainly dont see it unless youre in desperate need of a bad movieinduced chuckle   hush  scores so many unintentional guffaws that it almost qualifies as a guilty pleasure  chalk its losses up to frequent stupidity lapses and apparent postproduction tinkering  it was supposed to open about a year ago   the latter of which appears to have given  hush  a sendoff thats downright infuriating  its too bad that  hush  is so laughable  because the onscreen talent  including the pairing of gwyneth paltrow and jessica lange  is nothing to laugh at  paltrow and johnathon schaech play helen and jackson  a photogenic new york couple on their way to spend christmas vacation at his wealthy  welltodo familys horse farmestate kilronan  jacksons mother martha  lange  runs kilronan all by herself  and her genteel southern hospitality makes helen feel welcome immediately  even if her first meeting with martha takes place while helen is in the altogether  caught redhanded after a bedroom romp with her husbandtobe  but it seems that marthas friendly smile masks a much more threatening demeanor  shes what youd call someone who loves too much  martha eagerly  deviously wants a grandchild  and then helen will be expendable  as far as shes concerned  if theres one reason to catch  hush   its lange  she treats the pedestrian screenplay better than it deserves to be treated  injecting martha  poorly written though she may be  with a little empathy to level out the psychoplaying field  when she delves into marthas dark side  predictable cliches  chainsmoking  staring in mirrors  praying in a confessional to a priest who isnt there  poking a hole in helens diaphragm so shell become pregnant  and she does   abound  but its moderately entertaining junk because lange is such an interesting actress to watch  veteran performer nina foch is smart and tart as jacksons wheelchairbound paternal grandmother  the rest of the cast looks ill and uncomfortable  especially paltrow  but can you really blame them  the character relationships in  hush  hold a certain amount of promise  at least until their psychological impact is blown out of the water by sheer stupidity  idiotic situations  martha yells at a nearby horse so it will bolt up and knock helen over  compliment idiotic dialogue   why did you yell   helen yells back at martha   and the film takes the form of one of the shoddier fill in the blankfromhell flicks ever made  you can see through a great deal of marthas actions and lies from their conception  why do people who have known this woman for years longer than we have never figure things out  does nobody communicate or read the newspaper in this town  if any of her potential victims thought  acted or behaved like normal people   hush  would be a really short movie  and then theres the climax and ending  which abruptly come when helen starts having contractions after eating some pound cake spiked with a laborinducing drug normally used on horses  after a really weird chase scene  martha calmly knits in a rocking chair while forcing helen to give birth in a bed all by herself  i wont spoil what happens next except to say that its contradictory  illogical and  probably  since im no doctor  medically impossible  the final scene offers no closure  no resolution  no confrontation whatsoever  its just there  dangling amidst silent displeasure  no one should like this ending  regardless of their feelings on the preceding material  perhaps  hush  s title is a plea to silence its audiences likely bitter word of mouth while exiting the theater  
neg	a big  busy boxing satire with a surprisingly paltry punch  the great white hype stars samuel l  jackson as a shameless boxing promoter whose plan to boost sagging payperview revenues is to  invent  a white contender  peter berg  to challenge his black heavyweight  champ   damon wayans    the logic is that people will pay more to see black vs  white than black vs  black   he may be right  in an absurdly accurate way  but the film doesnt give us a reason to care  as a scathing sports spoof  hype is just that  unfunny  unfocused  and  at times  just plain pointless  as a commentary on race relations  its even  less  effective  the dialogue is the best of this mess  lines like jon lovitz exclaiming  i cannot make caviar out of fish eggs   writers tony hendra and ron shelton also do good on the street slang  though we never hear enough of it  the script isnt strong enough  though  to support the aggressive camera work of director reginald hudlin  house party   he comes across as absolute overkill  the great white hype  almost  turns around at the end  at the big match  when hudlin attempts an extended gag of rockconcert proportions  with costumed dwarfs  gangsta rappers  and the  champ  dressed as death  only then do we get a glimpse of the spoof that shouldve been  
neg	i know there were times during this movie that i laughed pretty hard  the problem is  i cant remember them as i write this review  thats not a good sign  in booty call  jamie foxx is bunz  a character whom i cant really describe  because i dont know that much about him  i only know that he likes to shoot dice on the sidewalk  and that he doesnt like relationships  just  booty calls  at three in the morning  no questions  no commitment   bunz has a best friend named rushon  tommy davidson   who seems to be bunzs direct opposite  on the straight and narrow  and currently in a longterm commitment  a whole seven weeks  wow    rushon wants to finally sleep with his girlfriend  nikki  tamala jones   but for a reason which is not totally explained  its going to happen after a double date with bunz and nikkis friend lysterine  vivica a  fox   who have never met  to make a long story short  the two couples pair off and spend the rest of the evening having their attempts to do the deed spoiled by nikkis obsession with safe sex  first she wants condoms  so bunz and rushon go out and get them  oh  no  they have to be latex  not lambskin  back to the store  now theyve got to get dental dams  or therell be no foreplay  why are both couples stopped each time nikki makes a demand  nikki phones lysterine  who lives across the hall  and tells her shed better be making these demands  too  talk about coitus interruptus  booty call is a film that does not know whether it wants to be a regular comedy or one of those overthetop comedies  the difference between the two is that in the latter  things constantly happen which are so far removed from reality  in this category  for example  you have ace ventura  private eye on the mild side  and airplane  at the extreme  there are times during booty call where the film steps out of its shell and tries for this status  but then too often quickly retreats to the safety of convention  it is disappointing  and even worse  distracting  there are also instances where the screenplay by takashi bufford and bootsie parker  are those real names   does not live up to its potential  as jokes are left unexploited or even ruined by bad writing  for instance  there is a scene where our main characters are in a chinese restaurant  bunz goes up to an asian gangster and speaks to him in fluent cantonese  much to everyones surprise  however  when asked how he learned the language  he goes into this explanation of how he started picking up words from latenight kungfu films  and soon gained mastery  this negated the ludicrousness of the entire scene  if  on the other hand  when asked how he learned to speak chinese  bunz simply replied with   kungfu movies   and then moved on  the joke would have been much more effective  this is because it would have been totally unbelievable  but funny because we know it is unbelievable  by explaining the point and trying to make the ridiculous plausible  the film is not giving its viewers enough credit  the inconsistency and uncertain believability unfortunately also raise other questions  why are two such disparate people like bunz and rushon best friends  why do rushon and nikki fix up bunz and lysterine  if nikki is so obsessed with safe sex  why doesnt she have some condoms at her own apartment  these questions are not answered by the screenplay  but are overlooked for the sole reason of moving the plot forward  a very noticeable quality of booty call is the prevalence of unnecessary foul language  some movies use a lot of swear words  but use them under very justifiable circumstances  as when they are employed consistent with a characters pattern of speech  other films  such as the recent jackie brown  use them in ways that almost parody themselves  booty call just sticks them in to get laughs  and it doesnt work  they stick out like sore thumbs because there is almost no reason to use them  half of the scenes seem to occur for no reason  the chinese restaurant  a holdup at a convenience store  and a trip to the hospital seem to have nothing to do with the story  and are in there for filler  this is surprising  considering that the film is less than eighty minutes long  its too bad that the core of the film isnt much better  since it is comprised of sometimes funny  but forgettable dialog  i refer you to the first paragraph of this review  
neg	retelling the classic story of joan of arc has been a popular trend this year  earlier this may  leelee sobieski played the passionate title role in the toprated miniseries that debuted on cbs  and now  director luc besson has delivered his version of the sweeping epic about the teenage girl supposedly sent by god to rescue france from the clutches of their enemies  starring milla jovovich  who is predominantly unconvincing as the heavenly messenger accused of being a witch  the messenger  the story of joan of arc is a disjointed and overblown historical reenactment that prevails merely as a bloated mistreatment of the famous legend  besson  whos previous work includes the hyperactive scifi the fifth element  perhaps entrusted a bit too much faith in exwife jovovich  because in the messenger  the actress is drowning in a pool of her own inexperience  at first  when reports were indicating that jovovich had been chosen for such a demanding role  i was highly doubtful that her marginal talent could carry a film of such a caliber  after seeing the rousing trailer  my hesitant optimism suddenly skyrocketed  milla jovovich looked superb  with the hopeful propulsion of her stellar performance  the messenger looked like a timeless epic in the making  a timeless epic it is not  besson is hesitant to abandon his unique and flashy style  and the story behind the messenger is not entirely suited to his demands  on the shoulders of bessons choppy and unexciting direction  the film dissipates into an uninspiring hodgepodge of poorly executed battle sequences and bizarre imagery  there is no human exploration into the character of joan  or jeanne   jovovich merely rambles on about the power of god when we have little or no insight into her visionary objective  jovivichs unsatisfying portrayal only helps lead to the realization that besson sees jeanne as a piece of spiritual cardboard  she is just another special effect in this continuous visual feast  jovovich does have a few isolated moments of sheer power  but mainly  she looks lost  quite frankly  i dont know of any actress who could successfully navigate her way through the messenger without a major fumble  the script is chockfull of laughable dialogue and unfortunate comedy  as jeanne confronts the uncrowned king charles vii  john malkovich  and informs him of her heavenly intentions  faye dunaway plays charles overbearing motherinlaw  and dustin hoffman appears over twohours into the story as a character dubbed  the conscience  all three actors juggle limited screen time  although malkovich is uncharacteristically awful  the battle scenes are extremely bloody  but with the presence of such jittery camera work  they capture none of the excitement or finesse of something like braveheart  theres a particularly graphic and unsettling scene early on  when jeanne  as a young girl  watches in horror from a closet as her older sister is murdered and then savagely raped by a bloodthirsty english soldier  even his fellow troopers are petrified  the messenger is also strictly a 90s update on the classic story  almost too 90s  it seems  theres gratuitous use of the fword and a barrage of slang terms like shes nuts   sprinkled throughout the screenplay  i was halfexpecting jeanne to invite her homeys to come chill in her crib  but it never happened  theres also the familiar presence of bizarre besson humor  but none of it comes even remotely close to functioning properly  it seems terribly misplaced  but in a catastrophe as jumbled and disjointed as the messenger  almost everything does  the musical score by erric serra is spectacular  and the set and production designs are continuously impressive  if it was visual excellence that besson was striving for  then he achieves his goal  but the only time the dramatics come alive in the messenger is during the closing trial  in which jeanne is found guilty and burned at the stake  during these moments  the historical relevance and dramatic purpose of joan of arc reaches the audience  albeit in a faint stream of light that provokes little power or meaning  its just too delayed for besson to revive his lifeless interpretation  in which he is always concerned with the wrong aspects  the messenger  the story of joan of arc is an unlikely and unwelcome historical addition to the hollywood shelf  anyone searching for an entertaining epic is going to be painfully slapped with an overblown and confusing film  despite my original hopefulness  milla jovovich is not going to have to worry about thanking the academy  
neg	violence is bad  violence is ugly  violence breeds yet more violence  kids  dont try this at home  this weighty message isnt the only barrier to enjoying brother  but its certainly one of the largest  written  directed by  and starring the infamous takeshi kitano  kikujiro  sonatine  brother is his first film made outside his familial japan  bringing the yakuza tradition to los angeles   yakuza translated for the average american is the japanese mafia   if you piss a  family  member off  or dishonor yourself in any way  the usual punishment is public display of selfmutilation  usually resulting in the loss of limbs  a definition of dishonor can be anything from making a stupid decision to leaving one family for another  it would be interesting to know more about where these and other customs come from  unfortunately the film doesnt give too much of an explanation  assuming its audience is aware of kitanos earlier work  there are several shots that focus specifically on detailed tattoos that spread across the entire back of the yakuza members  leading one to assume they would be symbolic of something  but you never know what  then theres a scene in which a man kills himself in front of a rival in exchange for that rival joining the family  granted  this is one of the best scenes in the movie  but it doesnt make a lot of sense  instead  the two hours are basically spent watching the following  people go out and shoot each other  talk about it for tenplus minutes  then go out and do it again  the consistently repetitive discussion of territory during these moments involuntarily provokes yawning  there are also plot details thrown in for no identifiable purpose  all of the sudden yamamoto  kitano  has a girlfriend  he barely speaks to her  treats her like crap  and then sends her away  another missed opportunity  considering it is such a big deal for kitano to bring his magic to the united states  is the combination of cultures  which rely too heavily on overused stereotypes  though slow moving  brother does have good elements  the action scenes are well directed  clearly defined  and interesting to watch  some of the violence is more hinted at than shown  which produces the luscious squirm that one goes to see such films for  the actors would be more enticing if they had more to do  shirases  masaya kato  loud  sarcastic coolness set against yamamotos quietly threatening attitude is truly an entertaining combination  their moments together or apart steal the rest of the show  also to its credit  brother tackles the cause and effect of crime with realism  a life of crime is easy to get sucked into with the first reward of quick cash  sure people get rich  but they can also lose just as easily  its a great moral  with a great cast  just not much substance to back it up  
neg	there  s nothing quite like a gory anime  really  and this is the truth  no other genre in film gets away with such violence without a word being said in the media about it  with anime  a common shot is watching a body getting quickly cut in two  and the rest of the insides falling out seconds afterword  this is a standard practice in anime  or at least the half dozen or so titles that i  ve seen  vampire hunter d is a gory  gory film  if they ever made a live version of the film  it would be banned in several countries and given a rating somewhere below xxx  it  s not that it  s gore is unique  it  s just like other gory animes  but this one was supposed to stand out because of the complexity it  s story  characters  animation  etc    it really didn  t  it was disgusting and gruesome  which overshadowed the story  what little of it there was  it seems that in the not too distant future vampires and evil control the world  because god knows that our local police force just can  t seem to get a handle on vampires in the movies  one evening  a blond peasant girl  drawn to look 17 and innocent  a foreshadow that we will see her naked  i guessed early on it would be in the shower or in a rape scene  is out fighting evil in her local forest preserve when she stumbles onto the private property of a ten thousand year old vampire  insert strom thurmand joke here   of course  he never put a  no trespassing  sign on his yard  so one can  t really blame her  but he  s upset anyway and demands retribution  she gets the obligatory bite on the neck  aren  t there other places to get blood from  it seems like a bite in the elbow would do well enough  if its good enough for doctors to draw blood from  then why do vampires stray from that sight   to fight the spell  she enlists the help of a mysteriously tall  dark and handsome vampire hunter  you guessed it  his name is d   the vampire hunter is torn between fighting vampires  being attracted to the 17 year old peasant girl and finding reasons not to talk too much  you see  like all heroes in these kinds of stories  he  s a brooder  who  s sole purpose in life is to remain really  really silent  when he speaks  it  s in cliches  heroes like this are bad when they  re live  even worse when animated  later the vampire hunter storms the castle to meet the big bad vampire  who wants to marry the peasant girl because he  s bored after 10  000 years of living  the only clever vampire insight made in the movie   will vampire hunter d rush to save her in time  will we see blood and intestines spattering on every place imaginable  in it  s defense  the animation  when focusing on being original rather than recycling anime slicing  could at times be original  the talking hand was clever  and i think the inspiration for a skateboardrelated logo  and that  s the best defense i can think of  i understand that vampire hunter d is supposed to be a fave among anime fans  but i really don  t see it  it  s an excuse to watch blood dripping from teeth  blood exploding out of eye sockets and horses necks  and most importantly  like all violent anime  it is an excuse to see animated breasts  why  what is the point of that  maybe i have to understand the genre and look past the obsessive gore and mysogny  i  m not a prude  i just don  t think it  s warranted  it puts itself so far out in front of the movie that everything else gets lost  is there a neccesity in seeing a 17 year old in the shower  of course not  it  s done for shock  it  s tasteless and despicable  
neg	lauded as a genius by many  stanley kubrick commands a superlative filmography that includes such criticallyacclaimed films as  2001  a space odyssey    a clockwork orange    lolita   and  dr  strangelove  or  how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb   now  sadly  hes added  eyes wide shut  to that impeccable body of work and his final film is the first and only blot on his nearflawless copybook  kubrick  alas  should have quit while he was ahead  this muchpublicized psychosexual teaseathon  with its star billing of reallife marrieds tom cruise and nicole kidman  is nothing more than one long  twoandahalf hours long  boring exercise that features kubrick operating with talent wide shut  kubrick  faithless to arthur schnitzlers 1926 novella  dream story   has confused eroticism with nudity  he has confused intellectualism with talking slowly  he has confused profundity with pretentiousness  in addition  the director has made some strange casting choices  leaving sydney pollack in and leaving accomplished performers harvey keitel and jennifer jason leigh out  pollack  the director of such boxoffice hits as  tootsie  and  out of africa   is normally solid in his occasional acting stints but here hes miserably out of his depth    and there isnt much depth to begin with  unhappily  theres not likely to be a directors cut of this film to determine whether the decision to exorcise keitel and leigh was the right one  in fact  with the exception of the stark blackandwhite credits  snatches of baroque music on the soundtrack  and many  many grainy tracking shots down lavishlydecorated corridors  theres none of kubricks trademark brilliance in this film  it doesnt help that the story  as delivered  is ridiculous  cruise and kidman  who bring little more than marital torpor to the project  play welltodo new yorkers bill and alice harford  hes a doctor and shes an unemployed art gallery director and they share a central park west address  at an opulent party hosted by their friend victor ziegler  pollack   alice gets a little tipsy and starts dancing with a jeremy ironslike hungarian  whos singularly determined to get her in the sack  bill  too  is seen arminarm with a couple of models before hes pulled away to deal with an overdoser  back home  bill and alice smoke a little pot before alices aggressive jealousy kicks in  as retribution  she confesses to her husband that she once had deep feelings for a naval officer she eyeballed at a hotel where she and bill once stayed  this hurtful admission sends bill into a tailspin  he pounds the streets of the village in his heavy black overcoat struggling with blackandwhite images of alice in the grip of a horny midshipman  its all way too much for him  for revenge  bill almost has sex with a hooker  he almost has feelings for a underage girl he sees in a costume store  then he almost does the hookers roommate  and hes almost involved in an overblown rococo orgy when an old college chum of his tips him off to a mysterious  passwordprotected party where everyone wears masks and  the women are incredible   i  e   naked   this  erotic  set piece  a cultish bacchanal complete with chanting  incense  and lots of strategicallyplaced partygoers covering up the dirty  might impress the likes of hugh hefner  but its a lot less shocking than its intended to be  whats the big deal  bill doesnt exactly  do  anything  other than throw his money and credentials around   and alice only ever lusted in her heart  whoopdeedoo  still  they make up at the same agonizingly slow pacewas kubrick  notorious for multiple takes  paying them at an hourly rate  even geniuses have their bad days   eyes wide shut  just happens to be kubricks bad day  an unerotic  disappointing  and altogether pointless end to an otherwise memorable career  
neg	by starring in amy heckerlings  clueless  two summers ago  alicia silverstone proved she wasnt just another pretty  pouty ingenue  showing a buoyant comedic craftiness that blew all previous jobs  namely a stint as the aerosmith girl and a silly turn as the lethal lolita of  the crush   out of the water  her only work since that 1995 gem has been in junes  batman  robin   where she overcame the underwritten role of batgirl  now  shes the star and producer of  excess baggage   a hopelessly phony film that demonstrates how an illcomposed story can drag an otherwise solid performer down to its level  silverstones emily t  hope is stuck with a billionaire father  jack thompson  who neglects her emotionally  in an outlandish plan to gain his affection  she fakes her own kidnapping  emily uses an electronically disguised voice to call her dad and set a pricey ransom  ties her legs together and mouth shut with duct tape and locks herself in the trunk of her bmw  but before the police can  rescue  her  professional auto thief vincent roche  benicio del toro  jimmies the locks  hotwires the engine and makes off with both the car and emily  whos still trapped in the back  when vincent discovers emily  the two dont exactly hit it off  she annoys him  he annoys her  and at the advice of his slimy car salesman partner  harry connick  jr    he decides to drive her out to the middle of nowhere and leave her there  along the way  of course  they get into a whole heap of trouble  and come to realize that being together is the only way to get out of their sticky  felonystudded situation  it doesnt help matters that emily and vincent are being trailed by cops  crooks and even her shady uncle ray  christopher walken   whos wise to his nieces ploys for attention and has mafia connections  for at least a halfhour   excess baggage  bounces along fast and efficiently  during this time  emily and vincent sport engaging personalities as well as a nice rolereversal twist  shes an awfully aggressive  combative victim and hes quite the aloof  seemingly vulnerable captor  but once its past its setup  the situation suddenly becomes uninvolving as the story tries to be too many things at once  a road movie  a teen comedy  a mob thriller  a drama about family relationships  you name the cliche and  excess baggage  likely covers its territory  of course a romance develops between the two leads  but it all seems forced  and thus characterization is manipulated to cause the finally happy outcome   do you like my tummy   emily coos to vincent at one point in the film  huh  did i miss something  the hardedged  foulmouthed grrrl is suddenly gone and replaced with a pair of batting googoo eyes  then again   excess baggage  becomes so weak in so many areas that the personality transplant is not a complete surprise  a supporting cast attempts to do what they can with colorful but empty secondary roles  but the movie isnt game enough to use them all and therefore seems overcrowded  motivations keep shifting  resulting in an often confusing narrative  scant existing story background confuses matters even worse and adds to the growing list of unanswered questions   excess baggage  has too many characters  too much plot and juggles with one arm behind its back and a remaining shaky hand  i loved silverstones turn in  clueless  as an aloof  pampered beverly hills matchmaker inspired by jane austens  emma   looking back at the skill she displayed for comedy there  its simple to justify any high expectation or enthusiasm that i had mustered for  excess baggage   sadly  however   excess baggage  is no  clueless   but  on the other hand  it is clueless  
neg	    because im a scientist  thats what we do    dr  alexander mccabe  bob gunton   in response to why he created evil bats  alright folks  stop me if youve heard this one  genetically altered animals wreak havoc on a town and a small band of locals  assisted by a specialist in the particular animals field  must team up to stop the mutant creatures before they can multiply and spread across the earth  oh yeah  the military is on their way to bomb the town as well  so they are running short on time  sound familiar  such is the plot of the destination films release of bats  dina meyer stars as the  bat specialist  sheila  who is pulled from her research  along with her annoying sidekick  played with irritating deftness by leon  in order to help a small texas town figure out why some local citizens and animals have been chewed to death recently  with the help of the local sheriff  lou diamond phillips   a cdc official  carlos jacott   and a scientist  bob gunton   sheila discovers it is indeed bats  who have been genetically altered by guntons character to be more aggressive and omnivorous  in order to be used as a military weapon    i have to say here that i knew exactly what i was getting into going into this film  theres not a frame of promotional footage i have seen for the film that would have led me to believe it was going to be any good  in this respect  the film never disappointed me  this film reaches a level that transcends the  so bad its good  level and borders on the downright insane  the effects are awful  the script is contrived  and for most of the feature i was laughing at things that were supposed to be taken seriously  i think   i challenge anyone to sit through the scene  where a bat stalks a baby in a crib while another bat terrorizes a patron eating at a diner  with a straight face  thankfully  the performances are as good as they can be considering the material the actors had to perform with  dina meyer has always been the highlight of any of the films she has been in  johnny mnemonic  dragonheart  and starship troopers    the latter being the only film out of that batch with any actual merit   and this one is no exception  while one never really gets the impression that meyers character could be a bat expert in reality  one never really cares to doubt it either  she gives as good a performance as could be expected  plus shes nice to look at for an hour and a half  lou diamond phillips is also serviceable here  as the small town sheriff turned eventual hero  although when we first meet his character he knows bats are the reason for whats going on in town  for some reason later on he suddenly becomes amazed to learn that the actual cause of the deaths in town are because of bats  the only bad performance in the film is that of leons  he is relegated to the  im not sticking around here   character and proceeds to repeat variations of that line for the majority of the film even though he stays  anyone who cant immediately tell that bob gunton  the bad guy in patch adams and countless other films  is going to eventually turn on the gang and side with his creations before his eminent death will probably be surprised  but i highly doubt it  even if he hadnt been the villain in just about every film hes ever been in  so many obvious hints are given to indicate the devious act that it holds no shock whatsoever  in fact  his death is welcome  because it finally starts moving the plot towards the finale  if the plot doesnt sound ridiculous to you yet  then check out these little tidbits  a multitude of bats inexplicably disperses when a police officer cocks his pistol  an entire town disregards the sheriff and doctors orders to stay indoors after a curfew is instigated  causing mass hysteria when the bats come out in full force  killing several townsfolk  a government official blows off shelias instructions  to wait until dawn to install a cooling unit in the bats cave that will kill all of them off  by pulling a night job  resulting in the death of an entire military unit  a cavern full of bat feces never ignites when a phosphorus flare is lit right in the middle of it  finally  to top it all off  this little texas town is showing nosferatu in its single screen theater  for reference  our town has over a million people in it with nearly 150 movie screens  and were lucky to even get kevin smiths dogma   the most laughable part of the movie though comes from the illconceived bat puppets  while the actual bat attack scenes are shot with rapid fire editing  making the scenes nearly impossible to comprehend whats going on   the scenes where a bat is called upon to interact with a live actor are usually shot more lowkey  therefore we the audience get loving closeups of the most unrealistic  rubbery bat puppets ever committed to film  being able to see the puppeteers arms would be the only things that could have made these creations worse  after all of this  if you still decide bats might be the movie for you  dont say you havent been warned  trust me when i say that its a lot more fun to trash than it is to sit through  i just wish that dina meyer would be cast in more roles or at least choose better films to appear in  shes definitely a talent that is going to waste in films like these  
neg	the word to describe sharon stone is  wonder   not that she is a wonder  but rather that i wonder how she can be so inconsistent  she has a dynamic screen presence in  basic instinct   turns in a surprisingly fine acting job in  casino   but possesses neither of those here  stone teams up with private school headmasters wife isabelle adjani to kill adjanis thoroughly unlikable husband  chazz palminteri   in a comedy of errors and unexpected twists straight out of hitchcock  as in homage to read  steal from     it turns out that someone saw them or hes not dead or maybe    kathy bates turns in a credible  if unspectacular  performance as an investigative police detective  her character is a bit dull but realistic  although her actions at the end are puzzling  adjani is more than satisfactory as the timid beaten spouse driven to desperation  its stone that is a disappointment among the actors  how can she be the epitome of a femme fatale in previous films and come off as a blank in this one  costumed in skintight clothes and looking down her nose at everyone  she is someone you would want to avoid because she is boring  not enticingly dangerous  even the threat  or promise   of a lesbian relationship between the conspirators is only half played out  on the positive side  there are enough unexpected plot developments to keep your interest alive  that is if you can put up with stones cardboard cutout character and scenes directly lifted from hitchs movies  
neg	the tagline on random hearts reads  in a perfect world  they never would have met   in a perfect world  i never would have seen this movie  the biggest flaw is that 20 minutes into this film  kay chandler  kristin scott thomas  and dutch van den broeck  harrison ford  are the only two major characters alive  resulting in little doubt that they will end up together at some point during the laborious twohoursandthensome production  dutch is a sergeant in internal affairs at the district of columbia police department  kay is a congresswoman from new hampshire  although they both think they are happily married  their spouses are cheating with each other behind their backs  dutch and kay are soon widowed when a plane goes down carrying their partners  they subsequently discover the affair  the rest of the film is the pointless  unrealistic and oftentimes boring story of their researching the sexual relationship that they were blind to  and getting to know each other in the process  two sub plots are of little help to the already problematic film  dutch is trying to arrest a fellow officer  a task that seems rather ordinary for hollywood fare  all the great stereotypes get pulled  including my personal favorite of the key witness that makes bail and is murdered soon thereafter  kays distraction from the films primary focus is her campaign for reelection and attempts to shield her 15 year old daughter from the truth about the father she put on a pedestal  these sub plots could have made for semiinteresting points  but the film seems afraid to explore politics or motherdaughter relations in depth  and consequently suffers  random hearts two primary characters seem to live in shells  although both kay and dutch are given their own sub plots  they seem to never deal with anyone other than themselves or each other  there is plenty of opportunity  dutch having a partner and kay having close friends and her daughter  but the movie shies away from exploring these relationships  veteran actor and director of this film sydney pollack  and critically acclaimed upandcomer dylan baker both have cameo roles  but be careful not to blink too much or you will miss them both  other than its weak plot  it is hard to criticize random hearts  however  it is also hard to compliment it  had the film taken some small risks and more fully explored its extra characters and plots it may have tasted more like a well frosted cake  rather than the dry one that equates to be  
neg	in double jeopardy  the stakes are high  think of the plot as a rehash of sleeping with the enemy  and then rearrange the details and the gender of the stalker  the finished product  although able to maintain the viewers attention  is a predictable and unexciting thriller with an idiotic script  alex  ill take homicide for 400     libby parsons  ashley judd  is a happily married mom leading a normal life  one night  her husband nick  bruce greenwood  takes her out for a romantic escape on a sailboat  libby awakens in the middle of the night to find she is covered in blood and nick has strangely disappeared  she follows a trail of bloody footprints up to the deck  where she handles a fallen knife  like any stupid character  and is spotted by the coast guard  who are responding to a distress signal sent earlier in the evening  nick is presumed dead  and although she pleads her innocence  libby is tried and convicted for the murder of her husband  now  please dont think im spoiling any vital plot details  because the informative trailer has already spilled most of the beans  if you havent seen this preview  dont read any further  but seriously  the inane screenplay by douglas weisberg and douglas s  cook is so elementary that the average viewer will be two or three steps ahead of the characters  during the most vital scenes in the movie  i was anticipating every twist or surprise that eventually popped up on the screen  i imagine the writers presume their core audience for double jeopardy is a very naive group of individuals  most  unfortunately  will be too distracted by the moronic plot to appreciate the few positive aspects of the production  one is tommy lee jones  who plays travis lehman  a parole officer given the tedious task of watching over libby after she serves her sentence in prison  jones is always wonderful as an authority figure  and hes certainly familiar with this sort of role  as he played so well in the fugitive and us marshals   judd  as a likable heroin with gusto  also has a chance to flex her acting abilities  while emotionally unconvincing  the actress is tremendously fun in her juvenile role  perking up the movie like an injection of antidepressant  the actors  and their relationship together  present the onetwo punch that prevents double jeopardy from derailing itself entirely  and now  back to the plot  while behind bars  libby learns an interesting little bit of information  a person cant be convicted of the same crime twice  this law  called double jeopardy  could be her motive for hunting down her husband    who may still be alive  yes  you heard right  the movie degenerates into a crosscountry chase  where everything you expect to happen    does  the final scenes  which could have redeemed the film  are poorly handled by director bruce beresford  whose previous work centers highly around drama  driving miss daisy  paradise road   ironically  it is those elements  like the driving force of libby to reunite with her son  that dont quite work here  at least double jeopardy is paced well enough to satisfy diehard fans of the two stars  unfortunately  jones lacks some of the edge that he had as sam gerard in the fugitive  and the real depth of his character is only skin deep  but he and ashley judd are more than welcome considering the material  and both have some memorable comic moments  judd  in particular  has a hilarious scene in which she wards off an oncoming male by explaining she has to check in with her parole officer  hmmm    perhaps this would have made a good comedy  it is disappointing  because there are the makings of a competent action film here  its nicely shot and choreographed in downtown vancouver  and will entertain those who arent turned off by the woeful storyline   tis a shame that double jeopardy is an adult thriller that wouldnt fool most children  
neg	synopsis  melissa  a mentallydisturbed woman who likes to smoke  seduces doug  a minorleague baseball player who likes to study anatomy  work on motorcycles  and make out with his girlfriend in a public library  when doug decides to stop seeing her  melissa maliciously takes revenge on those around him  including his girlfriend  his mother  and his cat  comments  malicious  i suppose  is an acceptable moview for what it is  a cheap  bmovie thriller which rips off dozens and dozens of spurnedpsycholoverwhowantsrevenge films  like fatal attraction  hand that rocks the cradle  etc  etc   that have come before it  malicious  however  really doesnt provide very many particularly suspenseful moments  the plot starts off energetically enough  the main characters are introduced and the affair between doug and melissa begins and ends pretty early on in the film  it starts to drag  unfortunately  after this  melissa will obviously try to take her revenge on doug  as always seems to happen in movies like these   but she does so in unimaginative ways that have been done in other  better thrillers before  she drugs someone  she kills a family pet and leaves it in the girlfriends apartment  and  of course  she stalks  so we see a number of shots  which are supposed to be suspenseful  where shes spying on doug and his girlfriend  i wont reveal the ludicrous ending to this turkey  but i warn you that its both painfully obvious and a real yawner  john vernon does a remarkably good job at playing the notsobright baseball jock who initially gets swept away by melissa  one of the scripts faults is to try to pass off a character like this as a premed student   the same cannot be said  though  for molly ringwald  at times  she can effectively pull off the obsessed lover routine  especially during her silent  imgoingtostareyoudown scenes  at other times  however  she just seems somehow goofy and out of place  in one particular scene which i guess was supposed to be suspenseful  she screeches  fk you  you bd  and throws a phone  she delivers the line so ridiculously that one cant help but laugh  malicious certainly isnt the worst thriller of its kind out in the video racks  a number of really fat turkies in this genre are out there   but it isnt all that good or original either  feel free to treat this film maliciously  watch something else  
neg	warner brothers  rated pg13  mild violence  sexual situations   132 minutes director  luis mandoki screenplay  gerald di pego  from the novel by nicholas sparks  cast  kevin costner  robin wrightpenn  paul newman  illeana douglas  robbie coltrane  jesse james  john savage  review by  geoff berkshire im not an overly cynical guy  there have been many glossy hollywood romances that have carried me away with their romanticism over the years  however  i have my limits and i also have standards  this brings us to the subject at hand  message in a bottle  the big ticket romance that warner brothers unleashed upon the movie going public just in time for valentines day  the story  what little of it that there is  involves boring chicago tribune reporter theresa osborne  robin wrightpenn  dealing with her recent divorce and trying to raise her young son jason  jesse james   during a brief stay somewhere in new england she finds the titular message in a bottle while on a morning run by the ocean  the letter  written to a mystery woman named catherine  instantly captivates her  upon her return  theresa shares it with her best friend lina  illeana douglas   her boss charlie  robbie coltrane   and the entire city of chicago  the newspaper publishes an article about it   it turns out that the message was written by grieving widower garret blake  kevin costner  and so theresa travels to north carolina and tracks him down  he turns out to have a colorful father  paul newman  but is otherwise perfectly dull and overly obsessed with sailing  this is somehow attractive to theresa and the two begin their awkward courtship  of course she doesnt tell him that she found his letter  she wants to but the rules of this type of film require him to find out later  preferably right after they first make love   this way garret can get very angry and the relationship can be threatened  the discovery of the message and garrets discovery that theresa discovered the message are really the only two noteworthy events that happen during the nearly two and a quarter hour running time of this film  theres a truly lame subplot about garrets relationship with his dead wifes family  he gets into a bar fight with her brother  played by john savage  and then the necessary tearjerking ending  a fun way to pass the time is to take bets on exactly who will die  although it becomes pretty clear by the second reel  the actual death sequence is one of the most ridiculously forced  and unintentionally humorous  sequences filmed since    well  since costners the postman  1997   message in a bottle is one slow moving film  last year audiences were offered endurance tests such as the horse whisperer and meet joe black but both of those films resemble jerry bruckheimer productions next to this  they also had redeeming qualities in the form of quality performances and some stand out technical work  message in a bottle has a decent enough cast but theyre fighting the material all the way  and losing badly  costner and  especially  wrightpenn are both likable and attractive enough to cheer for but their characters are simply too boring  they also fail to generate any kind of real romantic chemistry  the supporting players are given very little to do  the reliable douglas is particularly wasted  old pro newman gives his all and occasionally threatens to kick some life into this dead horse of a film  a confrontational scene he has with costner near the end is especially well played  however  too frequently he just reminds us how unexciting our lead characters are  the film is very polished on the technical side to be sure but it only works to undercut the story  gabriel yared  who previously set the romantic moods of the english patient  1996  and city of angels  1998  with his scores  overdoes it a bit here  caleb deschanels camera makes everything look a little too beautiful  do the offices of the chicago tribune really need to look heavenly  the editing by steven weisberg is troubling not only considering all that could have been cut out but is also simply messy at times  the real offender here is screenwriter gerald di pego  working from a best selling novel by nicholas sparks  which i have not read but have been told is on the same literary level as the bridges of madison county   di pego creates one of the most uninspired scripts of recent times  its strict adherence to clich  s brings to mind such disasters as i still know what you did last summer  1998   there simply isnt an original scene in this film  the dialogue is rarely better than laughable and this is only accentuated by the excessively long pauses every character takes while speaking  this is director mandokis first film since when a man loves a woman  1994   the solid meg ryanandy garcia romance  hes simply going through the motions with this  message in a bottle is easily the worst of the several romantic offerings available in theaters at the moment and vies with what dreams may come  1998  as one of the most misguided romances of the decade  
neg	disconnect the phone line  dont accept the charges  do anything you can to avoid the wretched  melodramatic sisterhood dramedy hanging up  i figured i needed to get in touch with my feminine side  and hanging up seemed like an ideal opportunity to do so  the film features an incredible palate of female talent  and the capability behind the camera brought to mind such sparkling gems as sleepless in seattle and unsung heroes  meg ryan  diane keaton and lisa kudrow play a trio of sisters who  once separated by career judgments over family ties  must reunite when their father  walter matthau  is admitted into the hospital with alzheimers disease  while this may read like an optimum opportunity to rekindle their relationship and reflect with poignancy on the past  the script by sisters delia and nora ephron is exasperating  shapeless dreck teeming with emotional fakery  hanging up has the overall effect of a telemarketer pestering you for two hours  while you dont have the option of doing as the title suggests  for the first halfhour  the ephron sisters use telephone conversations for a basis of character development  this is an annoying and ineffective device  cellphones ring every five minutes  and everyone hurriedly rushes along  leaving marginal time for the frustrated viewer to relate to the sisters issues and problems  if hanging up was an apple pie  then i felt as if we were getting the mere crust of the story  granted  there are a few genuine and sincere moments in the film  but they only help to establish that the remainder of the strained emotions are nothing but inferior dramatic muck  the most outrageous strategy in hanging up is that  after a series of largely unrealized attempts at character development  we are expected to exhibit compassion and courtesy toward the sisters as they join for a melodramatic finale  we are able to identify with eve  ryan   the most open and caring daughter  because she is the one who stayed by her fathers side as everyone else moved forward to pursue a impending career  georgia  keaton   the eldest daughter  is celebrating the fifth year anniversary of her magazine called     georgia  maddy  kudrow   the soap opera actress  spends time either contemplating her possible path to stardom or nursing her dog  ryans convincing performance and diverting cuteness are two of the more agreeable aspects of hanging up  kudrow  so delightfully eccentric as the offkilter airhead phoebe in friends  is totally wasted  ditto for keaton  who is serving a double shift as costar and director  a time slot that can be a difficult priority juggle  her frenzy is apparent  for a chick flick  there is a distressing lack of chuckles  the reliable matthau is reduced to chaotic shtick that  given his characters situation  seems more depressing than amusing  even so  the peak form of humor in hanging up is represented by some of matthaus nasty quips and ryans eternal battle to have the aforementioned pooch swallow a pill  that about accounts for the three or four chuckles you will expel during the film  my curiosity has suddenly been tweaked to discover how such a promising and starstudded approach could turn so viciously sour  but really  its no mystery  the predictable  melodramatic filth that is hanging up is certainly not the fault of these actresses  pin it on the screenplay  which attempts to clear up vital issues in three or four minutes  while spending the rest of the running time in an annoying flurry of phone conversations  its certainly a far cry from what one would label as a rewarding experience  but hanging up should have at least been enjoyable  uhuh  its a wrong number from the beginning  
neg	running time approximately 1hr 40mins reviewed by jack choo rating  the movie starts with a rather se7enish opening sequence  rather cool and sets the mood for things to come  the story propels the audience into a neoreality  somewhat very close to conscious reality but laced with weird tinges of blue and red  existenz is actually the name of a new virtualreality game  supposedly  vr games are highly popular as is considered a legaldrug in this neoreality       leigh  is the ultimate game creator and introduces her ultimate gameexperience in the form of existenz  players are required to have bioports embedded in their spine  which plugs to a gamepod in order to enjoy the immersive experience  during a secretive betatestingcumteaser meeting for this new game  an assassination attempt on    life occurs and she runs off with fellow bodyguard     law      is more of a realists than anything else  afraid that hell lose reality if he begin to play these games but    requires his help to immerse together with her into existenz to check if the program is still functioning properly after the assassination attempt  as they soon discover  they are transported between realities within existenz uncovering more than they initially expected  existenz has all the cronenberggore that is expected of him  even so  this film is nowhere near his cult classics such as videodrome or scanners  not even half as suspenseful as the commercially successful the fly  existenz can probably be looked upon as his 90s version of videodrome  even so  it is a poor followup  while in most of his famed films  his penchant for gore always hit the right note with theme of the film and plot  in existenz  the gory sequences are no more attached to spirit of the film and seem to be an act of overindulgence than anything else  jennifer jason leigh and jude law  both commendable actors  looked aloof and missdirected throughout the entire film  the scripting and acting barely pulls the film out of the bgrade category  it was obvious that cronenberg worked on a really tightbudget and it seems that he handled that pretty well in the production design and values created for this film  the opening sequence  though  probably formed a considerable portion of the budget   which is actually quite good  existenz is too predictable and cliched in these times  10 years ago  it would have been another classic for cronenberg  cronenberg fans however   those people who enjoy seeing friends getting queasy over mutilation on film  should not give this film a miss as some form of appreciation can still be offered by you  
neg	in china in 1982 i turned the tables on our national guide and asked him if he had any questions about america  i guess i was expecting some sort of political question  instead  i was dumfounded by what was most on his mind   in america  do wives and their mothersinlaw get along well   he assured me in china that they did  but i am certain if that were true he would not have asked  even in china people seem to have problems relating to in laws  perhaps some of lifes most difficult relationships arise when families are suddenly artificially joined by marriage  a man trying to relate to his new prospective inlaws and viceversa could be the basis of a very strong comedy  meet the parents does not demonstrate that fact  however  greg focker  played by ben stiller  has been dating and in love with pam byrnes  teri polo  for ten months and is now ready to propose to her  he will do it during a weekend visit to meet debbies family and to attend her sisters wedding  from the beginning the relationship is awkward between greg and jack and dina byrnes  robert deniro and blythe danner   through no fault of his own  the airline has lost gregs luggage  and he has to ask to borrow clothing  it is the beginning of a game of oneupmanship in which greg is nearly always onedown  as the games go on greg is more and more uncomfortable and uneasy which only contributes to the mistakes he makes  greg is playing a game he does not understand  in a league he is new to  but perhaps along the way he will discover some unexpected secrets about his fatherinlaw  this film had potential in its tale of oneupmanship  it has hit on a situation that many in the audience may find familiarone that has not been done overly frequently in films  but the script by jim herzfeld and john hamburg is a little too contrived  too many coincidences in the story work against greg  the script could not decide if the main character was incompetent or simply unlucky  certainly he does not help his situation by doing everything wrong he possibly could  but even when he is trying to do the right things nature conspires against him  there is an uneven mix of slapstick sequences and human comedy  certainly the last part of the film feels awkwardly written  the main reason to see meet the parents is to see robert deniros performance  deniro plays the suspicious and not a little fascistic father as tightly wound and threatening as he can  the little judgmental expressions on his face are a show in themselves as greg digs himself deeper and deeper into his insecurities  but we do not really see much of that digging  ben stiller is an affable presence in the film but is not really stretching himself by playing the role as the nebbish to whom so many bad things happen  it is nice to see blythe danner again on the screen  but her character has a basic conflict between a basic decency and her love for her husband and the script should have given her more to do with that  randy newman has written a playful score  in the first few seconds of the film it does something creative i have never heard a film score do before  there is a lot of source music that is popular music of the 1960s  presumably that is what the upper class listens to at least in somebodys imagination  humor is subjective and some this film has been getting some favorable comment  but this is a comedy that works only occasionally for me  i would have to rate it 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	the  fab 4  of ronald reagan high are four stuckup girls  played by rose mcgowan  rebecca gayheart  julie benz and charlotte roldan  who overdress like 4 posh spice wannabes  their daily ritual is to parade up and down the school halls like royalty  and their constant reflex action is to grab their compacts so they can check their makeup and powder their cheeks  under no circumstances will they ever let themselves be seen eating in public  in writer and director darren steins jawbreaker  it isnt as funny as it sounds  in fact  it isnt funny at all  stein has taken the black comedy of a teen movie like heathers and stripped it of any intelligence  wit or charm  his actresses toss off their lines so fast that they dont have time to add any emotion  and all of his female characters have considerably more lipstick than brains  the setup for the movie has one of the fab 4  liz  who is referred to as  the princess di of reagan high   be killed when a prank by the other 3 goes wrong  the princess di reference is in bad taste  as is much of the movie  granted  bad taste can sometimes be funny  but the mere presence of bad taste doesnt guarantee it  lizs girlfriends stick a jawbreaker that is literally larger than a golf ball in her mouth  tape her mouth shut  and stick her bound body in the trunk of a car  when they open the trunk later  liz is dead  they eventually put her blue and bruised body into a sexual position and make it look like liz was the victim of a brutal rape  these realistic and disgusting scenes of a dead  seminude teen have a pornographic feeling that is hard to forget and will likely turn the stomach of many a viewer  the films dialog not only isnt funny  its trite  one nerdy young girl introduces herself with  my name is fern mayo  as in hold the mayo   when fern discovers what has happened  the fab 3 make her an offer she cant refuse  makeup  they cake it on her and welcome her to the clan  the parents in the movie brag about learning parenting skills from watching oprah  the teachers fare no better  especially in the ridiculous lines they are given   miss shayne  please cover your bosom   one young teacher  who has been made up to look old and ugly  says without any conviction   this is a learning institution  not a brothel   besides the obvious question of why this movie was ever made  there is one other question that id like to ask the director  why do you have a phone number start with 555 if you going to cover the rest of the number anyway  in a cameo  pam grier plays detective vera cruz  who investigates lizs murder  as she interrogates the other people  she stares at them like they are all idiots  proving that she is the only one that gets it  i am sure that if the hard nosed detective cruz were to see this movie  shed walk out after about 5 minutes  and youd be well advised to do the same if you should happen to find yourself in a theater showing it  jawbreaker runs 1  27  it is rated r for violence  gore  profanity and sex  i would advise everyone to avoid it  but if teenagers go they should be older and mature  
neg	hollywood never fails to astound me  every time i think those cokedup little buggers have hit rock bottom  they come up with a new excavating tool  i was truly convinced that  wild wild west  marked 1999 studio filmmaking at its most hapless  but then along comes  end of days  to prove me wrong  this big budget  brain dead apocalyptic thriller bludgeons its audience with overwrought music  grisly violence  explosions galore and lots of cheesy special effects  the result  nothing but groans and yawns  even the devil himself is unable to produce a decent scare in this festival of the inept  at the very least   end of days  should have done us the courtesy of being badenoughtobegood  but it cant even manage that  its just lousy  arnold schwarzenegger  still recovering from heart problems and  batman  robin   plays an excop turned security agent or bodyguard or something  along with his obligatory comic relief partner  kevin pollak  impersonating matthew perrys chandler character from  friends    he gets involved in some major league supernatural hoodoo  it seems that satan  gabriel byrne  gets a shot at world domination only once every thousand years  and here i thought hed pulled it off with the republican landslide of 94   if he has sex with 20year old christine york  robin tunney    the chosen one   their child will be the antichrist  or at least a brat  ah  but this deal has more catches than a new years eve pass from a halfway house  the unholy union must take place on december 31  1999  you see  999 is just 666 turned upside down   but only between 11 p  m  and midnight  no wonder this guy is so cranky   and if the chosen one is given refuge in a church  the devil wont know where she is  because he cant see into the sanctuary  you know  its kind of like supermans xray vision and lead walls  only evil  a group of guerrilla catholic priests decide the best way to stop the situation is by killing the girl  arnold chooses to save the girl and kick the hell out of satan  if youll pardon the expression  and kevin meets up with an exploding van and has to make some decisions of his own  oh  the anguish  oh  the humanity  oh  the writing  andrew w  marlowes screenplay ladles implausibility upon implausibility  from the preposterous otherworldly histrionics to his handling of jericho cane  schwarzeneggers character  cane starts the film a la mel gibson in the first  lethal weapon   preparing to put a gun in his mouth due to ongoing despondence over the murder of his wife and daughter  twenty minutes later  hes racing through the bowels of new york city  deciphering clues that sherlock holmes and kreskin would find baffling  when cane meets up with christine york  he instantly switches to terminator father figure mode  with the young woman serving as surrogate daughter  in case anyone misses the connection  the camera comes in for a close up of christines music box  which just happens to be identical to one owned by canes daughter  subtle  marlowe  subtle  speaking of cameras  director peter hyams is just the man to take marlowes script and make it even more selfimportant  murky and annoying  hyams direction shows all the subtlety of a gwar video  with cane running a gauntlet of ridiculous action set pieces  punctuated with loads of big explosions  eager to satisfy arnolds core audience  he even throws in a few pairs of breasts as well  what a guy  had the film delivered some decent scares  or even maintained a consistently ominous tone  the bombastic clich  s might have been tolerable  but  end of days  is simply a flaccid special effects show  the cast is just as ineffective  in his early scenes  gabriel byrne attempts to invest beelzebub with some panache  but he all too soon turns into just another standard issue monster  kevin pollak comes and goes quickly  robin tunney comes off like a bargain basement winona ryder and as for arnold  well  hes a better actor than casper van dien  that should count for something  way back in the aftermath  the exorcist  and  the omen   supernatural swill like  end of days  might have passed muster as a bmovie  but that was then and this is now   the xfiles  and  buffy the vampire slayer  deliver real scares on a weekly basis and  if we want to see the devil  all we have to do is flip on  the 700 club  and take a gander at pat robertsons grinning maw  after enduring  end of days   all i can say is  get thee behind me  satan  and while youre at it  get thee a better agent as well   
neg	i have little against remakes and updates of older films and tv series  if theres a will  theres a way  and i believe that anything  no matter how great or revered can be effectively improved upon  this is the reason that i responded so well to gus van sants universally panned update of psycho  i thought it to be not only an intriguing cinematic experience  but also very onpar with an original  but i do have a big problem with remakes that are blatantly bad  you see  the point of a remake is  or at least it should be  to iron out the originals flaws and bring the work that much closer to greatness or even perfection  but what if the source material on which the remake is based isnt any good to begin with  that is the only cinematic question pondered by the bland actioner the mod squad  ive only seen a couple episodes of the late 60s tv series on which it is based  and to be honest  i didnt like it all that much  it has a concept that  and still is  interesting  a group of corrupt young adults  all in their early 20s are given a choice  they either go to jail for the various crimes that they all have committed  or they can become undercover cops  helping the police get into places that they normally wouldnt be able to access  obviously  all 3 opt for the latter option and become undercover policemen  and policewomen   the three main characters here are played by claire danes  omar epps and giovanni ribisi  of the three  only danes has a real character  ribisis dumbass 20 year old is played exclusively for laughs  epps slightly more intelligent one is used to create various chase scenes  when the squads superviser gets killed off and his reputation dirtied in death  the three of them  sure that their beloved master was framed  go off and investigate on their own  discovering corrupt cops  lots and lots of expensive whores and very lucrative drug operations  all kinds of good stuff  the only times that the mod squad comes even close to working is in its comedic moments  although ribisi is a trite actor and his characters repeat movie after movie  his man here is really rather amusing  when the script gives him a chance  epps straight man is effectively played against ribisis clueless spontaneity  but the rest of the film is dull  boring and singularly uninteresting  a drugop action plot is no longer anything new  not even with teenage action heroes  and the way its executed here  its also nowhere near exciting or suspenseful  claire danes character has potential  but it is buried under heaps of cliches and her performance is too restrained  she could have been a tourdeforce  but instead director scott silver puts shackles on her and simply does not allow her to do anything really significant with her role  epps and ribisi fare slightly better and do as well as can be expected  although their characters arent nearly as rich as danes could have been  the mod squad is a mindnumbing marketing plot of a film  and teens will jump all over it  its full of bad dialogue  scenes and concepts that make no sense and  get this  drug dealers that like to tango with other guys in their spare time  nothing is remotely intriguing or worth paying for  claire danes is no longer alluring  mainly because shes got a horrible hairdo  so that draw is out  there are  however  cool explosions  guns and chases which may lure a viewer into thinking that he or she is about to experience an exciting thriller of some sort  do not be fooled  some may call this escapist fare  i call it escapeasquicklyasyoucan fare  
neg	when the mediums in question are video game and feature film  has there ever been a respective heretothere transformation that achieved any ground higher than noodleheaded mediocrity   super mario bros     street fighter  and  mortal kombat  were silly stinkers all  and now the empty  execrable  wing commander  joins their lowly ranks  enduring this spectacularly bad bit of scifi  easily the worst of its kind  is like watching someone futz around with a video game for 100 minutes  that is to say  theres little fun to be had when youre not the one holding the joystick  the movie  then  is a missed opportunity for director chris roberts  who created the original  groundbreaking pc incarnation of  wing commander  back in 1990  how an interactive brainchild so revered could end up such a cinematic pile of junk under the helm of the same guy is a headscratcher   wing commander  s story  credited to roberts and screenwriter kevin droney  is clueless chaos melding incoherent narrative and unoriginal ideas  it rips off the finest films of its genre  top gun and  in one scene  even those spiffy  stereoscopic freeze  gap commercials  set in 2654   wing commander  stars freddie prinze jr  as a daredevil cosmos cowboy who hopes to be a great fighter pilot like his father before him  along the way  he plays kissyface with his stoic superior  saffron burrows  at the new galaxy hangout where hes posted  comes to terms with bigots who resent him for his  pilgrim  heritage  dont ask   and goes on a topsecret mission involving the  jump coordinates   what  no death star plans   of a nasty alien race known as the kilrathi  or something like that  given the immensely confusing activity  its hard to tell  on the other hand  whats easy to see is that  wing commander  is a big old mess  the lame dialogue strains  filled with such original lines as  dont you die on me     battle stations   and repeated  and frequently unanswered  calls for a  medic   action sequences fizzle  the character conflict garners unintentional giggles  the sole source of suspense here is what these kilrathi creeps look like  as theyre kept out of view until the concluding 15 minutes  imagine bearded siamese cats crossed with something from a  50s roger corman cheapie and youve got a good idea  little but technobabble happens for an hour  and then its as if  wing commander  tries to do too much at once  when it appears as though the movies about to show signs of a pulse  it instead provides a hilarious touch of human drama culminating with a use for a bulldozer that has probably never been seen in this kind of space camp before  matthew lillard  featured prominently in said sequence  is cast as prinzes hotshot partner  and though the two are fine young actors  recently paired in the hit  shes all that   theyre fighting more than otherworldly evil here  rumor has it that  wing commander  was slated as a laterintheyear release  bumped up to capitalize off this hot casting coup as well as the premiere of the new  star wars  episode i  trailer  but in my audience  there were no females present to make googoo eyes at prinze or lillard  and many a member exited after the muchballyhooed sneak peek  since most cineplexes wont be granting refunds to the latter contingency   commander  might rake in some dough  but be warned  the high wears off as soon as the coming attraction gives way to the feature presentation  
neg	its almost amusing to watch 21year old christina ricci get drastically overshadowed in sally potters followup to 1997s the tango lesson  the man who cried  the geny actress  with her cold stare and big  black eyes  has appeared in an impressive range of films  but she doesnt even come close to being the bold heroine the film  set against the historical backdrop of world war 2  requires her to be  ricci  whose character is shockingly silent and blank  showing only the occasional smile or hint of concern  shares most of her scenes with the astounding cate blanchett  quite an amusing sight to behold  blanchetts lola  a paris dwelling dancer who befriends the aspiring singer suzie  is bold  interesting and layered  everything our heroine lacks  costar of the upcoming lord of the rings trilogy  blanchett has a good seven inches on ricci  sports twice the makeup and dons a flashy wardrobe  the actress inhabits the role  as she always so remarkably does  with a fervor and life that makes you want her to hold the screen as the films lead rather than her dull companion  important historical events involving hitler and his nazis scatter themselves across the film  these landmarks serve as the films little conflict  obviously  the tables are turned in the life of suzie by these events  whose jewish origin is unknown among her parisian colleagues  the man who cried has many aspirations  none of which come full circle by the films close  there are forced messages here and there   go forward  always go forward   lola preaches to suzie  theres romance between suzie and a fellow target of hitlers nazis  the gypsy cesar  johnny depp  who  like ricci  barely gets to speak   lola struggles with her character that desires above all things wealth and men who have it  and at the core of all these devices lies suzies desire to travel to america  where her father journeyed after leaving her and her mother years ago  the films main problem is that potter isnt skilled enough to tell the epicsized story of suzie  the time periods instability  the conflicting social classes  the prejudice against suzie from all those around her in her new life  serving as both writer and director  potter throws in some of each  but hardly an inch of depth is to be found in any  by the time the sighinducing climax hits  the believability and complete absence of focus leave one ready to leave the theater  the films falling action is weirdly unsatisfying and unlikely  are we really meant to believe any of this could happen  contrastingly  in its moving final scene  the man who cried strikes a note that is made effective in its ties to the emotional beginning of the film  although its apparent that potter cant grasp what she reaches  im puzzled as to why she reaches for so much in the first place  riccis suzie is meant to be the films core  from the extended flashback at the films beginning to the quickly drawn ending  everything seen in the film  in some way  relates to her  so why then does potter spend so much time on subplots involving other individuals  the character of suzie is too present for the man who cried to work as an ensemble  but not present enough for the film to be riccis  the almost constant lack of flow and onenote tone with which potter depicts the man who cried are somewhat improved upon by sacha viernys beautiful cinematography that renders the films various locations wonderfully  also worthy of note are lindy hemmings costumes that help to depict the area quite nicely  and then theres the music  from minute one to minute ninetyseven  theres hardly a moment when the wavering  skilled voice of an opera singer or the rhythms of the gypsy music dont undercut the action  the notes stricken both overwhelm  particularly john turturro  portraying fictional opera singer dante dominio  whose money and reputation catch lolas interest  and accompany  oftentimes  the perfect chords are captured to undermine the state of the films characters and reinforce that state   potter obviously cares much about each and every musical note  unfortunately  the same effort isnt given towards  almost  everything else  
neg	sandra bullock in high heels and wielding a chainsaw  yup  its gotta be summer  just when you thought the pointless sequel had gone the way of franchise films and directtovideo releases  into port slams speed 2  cruise control  the gloriously godawful followup to the 1994 sleeper about a bus rigged to explode if it slowed below a certain speed  the gimmick  this time  is an ocean liner rigged to  well  crash into stuff  sound exciting  dennis hoppers disgruntled bomb squader  the villain of the first film  has given way to willem dafoes disgruntled computer programmer  a maniac whose main beef has something to do with having to use live leeches  i kid you not  as a selftreatment for copper poison ing   and said poisoning induced by prolonged exposure to electro magnetic fields  no less  calling dean edell     so  he overrides the boats computer  convinces the crew to abandon ship  and sends the remaining passengers  those who couldnt evacuate in time  on a col lision course with destiny   oddly  no one thinks to just    jump off the back of the boat   with keanu reeves electing not to return perhaps he read the script   the job of john mcclane goes to jason patric  sleepers   as the  second  la cop and swat team member that that bus drivin babe annie  bullock  has dated   what are the odds   theyre on this caribbean cruise for pleasure  as are a handful of requisite stock characters  including a deaf teenager    who has a crush on the hero     who also knows how to sign        and you thought the raptor slam was a cool summer movie move  wait till you see the feats that  this  little girl can do  when stuck on a shipboard elevator   bullock is her pesky  perky self  though she ends up with far less screen time than her top billing suggests   those paying attention to her bikini and tank tops probably wont complain  however  patric is the main man in motion and thats damn good  cause when he stops to talk  hes only slightly less monotone than his predecessor   his first lol line is to ms  bullock   id like to boogie with you    of course  nobody in front of the camera embarrasses themselves quite the way that returning director jan de bont does  he also produced this mess  which is insulting even by the most lax summer standards   con air  buddy  fathers day  romy and michelles high school reunion  murder at 1600  8 heads in a duffle bag  anaconda  vegas vacation  meet wally sparks  metro  bevery hills ninja  the relic  all is forgiven   worse  hes spent a hundred mil on a premise that doesnt even live up to its title  theres no sweatinducing motion of the ocean here just two hours of shaky handheld camera work and a handful of crosscut exteriors  all leading up to the big slam  when the love boat sideswipes an oil tanker and then plows into a harbor town   oh  how far weve come in twenty years  remember the simple fun of seeing a locomotive smash into railway station in the silver streak   admittedly  either of the aforementioned sequences is worth the price of admission  its just the rest of the movie the other hundred or so minutes thats pure nonsense  and wonderful nonsense at that  i know he didnt intend to  but de bont has done one thing right  hes created the handsdown funniest film of the year  so  now  allow to present a few more things that made me laugh  o a box with a big label   fiber optic converter  o plain english  wholesentence computer instructions o an entire sequence devoted to opening a fire door o jason patrics character walks onto the bridge and immediately understands everything thats happening o a ships navigator who speaks in a scottish accent and actually gets to say  i canna override it   o willem dafoes amazing armmounted keyboard o two living  breathing adults  bullocks character and the first mate  who have to be told  step by step  how to disconnect a trip wire from the pin of a hand grenade  duh o  no wait   screams the ships intercom o yet another damn dog in peril o fishing reel  pontoon plane  memories of weekend at bernies 
neg	how do films like mouse hunt get into theatres  isnt there a law or something  this diabolical load of claptrap from steven speilbergs dreamworks studio is hollywood family fare at its deadly worst  mouse hunt takes the bare threads of a plot and tries to prop it up with overacting and flatout stupid slapstick that makes comedies like jingle all the way look decent by comparison  writer adam rifkin and director gore verbinski are the names chiefly responsible for this swill  the plot  for what its worth  concerns two brothers  nathan lane and an appalling lee evens  who inherit a poorly run string factory and a seemingly worthless house from their eccentric father  deciding to check out the longabandoned house  they soon learn that its worth a fortune and set about selling it in auction to the highest bidder  but battling them at every turn is a very smart mouse  happy with his rundown little abode and wanting it to stay that way  the story alternates between unfunny scenes of the brothers bickering over what to do with their inheritance and endless action sequences as the two take on their increasingly determined furry foe  whatever promise the film starts with soon deteriorates into boring dialogue  terrible overacting  and increasingly uninspired slapstick that becomes all sound and fury  signifying nothing  the script becomes so unspeakably bad that the best line poor lee evens can utter after another run in with the rodent is   i hate that mouse   oh cringe  this is home alone all over again  and ten times worse  one touching scene early on is worth mentioning  we follow the mouse through a maze of walls and pipes until he arrives at his makeshift abode somewhere in a wall  he jumps into a tiny bed  pulls up a makeshift sheet and snuggles up to sleep  seemingly happy and just wanting to be left alone  its a magical little moment in an otherwise soulless film  a message to speilberg  if you want dreamworks to be associated with some kind of artistic credibility  then either give all concerned in mouse hunt a swift kick up the arse or hire yourself some decent writers and directors  this kind of rubbish will just not do at all  
neg	miramax  disinvited  online media from press screenings of scream 3  they ostensibly feared that folks like me would write spoilerfilled reviews and post them prior to the films february 4th release dateunsound reasoning  you see  net critics established enough to be on any sort of vip list are professionalsmiramax surely knows the difference between a member of the online film critics society  ofcs  and the type of fanboy who posts spy reports at aint it cool news  no  the  mini major was afraid wed let a bigger cat out of the bag than whodunit  that scream 3 is a dismal conclusion to the beloved  by this writer  at least  franchise  something smells rotten in the state of california right from the getgo  cotton weary  liev schrieber   the former lover and wouldbe killer of maureen prescott  sidneys mother  is juggling phone calls in his luxury car   once considered a danger to society  weary now hosts his own talk show   100 cotton   a clever  if dated  jab at american pop culture   of course  a new ghostface dials him up  and  with memories of screams unbearably suspenseful prologue in mind  we immediately wonder  where is the killer  the backseat  the next car  thrilling prospects  to be sure  but actually  ghostface is at the weary residence  waiting for cottons girlfriend  kelly rutheford  to finishing showering  whats missing from this sequence  and indeed scream 3s remaining frights  most disappointingly  the moment when an ingenue is forced to hide in a wardrobe room filled with ghostface costumes  one of which might spring to life   is an elaborate and attenuated payoff  our other surviving regulars have become estranged  sidney  campbell  is living a paranoid existence of electronic gates and passwordprotected locks  while dewey  arquette  acts as technical advisor on the second sequel to scream 2s moviewithinamovie   stab 3   and gale weathers  cox arquette  headlines a gossipy news program  murder reunites them  as knifewielding ghostface stalks the set of  stab 3   imitating its sadistic screenplayand hishertheir own personal draft climaxes with sidneys death  the appeal of ghostfaces villainy is that heshethey could be your boyfriend  your classmate  your next door neighbour    or a combination of people  scream was the first of its kind  a slasher mystery  with the guessing game not only entailing who will be next  but also who isare the perpetrator  s  and what isare hishertheir motive  ironic selfreflection aside  parts one and two stand out in a crowd that includes umpteen friday the 13th and halloween flicks because theres at last articulate human beings behind the iconic costume  with scream 3  the novelty of ghostfaces evermutating identity has worn off some  but the character remains conceptually potent  conceptually  the execution of ghostfaces master plan this time around is creaky  because screenwriter ehren kruger has invented a new mythology for the world of sidney prescott far afield from what wed come to understand in scream and scream 2  the movie gets in the silly habit of saying  all bets are off   in reference to the  rules  of a trilogys third act  but theres a difference between rule breaking and cheating  with the departure of kevin williamson  who authored the previous screams as well as a tidy outline for scream 3  that  for reasons incomprehensible to me  was ignored  save the notion of  stab 3    kruger needed to be reined in tighter  and by wes craven  cravens direction of scream 3 is lazy in most respects  how else to explain the jay and silent bob cameo  the slacker duo of kevin smith movies   akin to seeing mickey mouse pop up in mulan and more distracting than funny  it pains me to write this  but scream 3s comedy is generally laughless  with the exception of welltimed performances by josh pais  as a police detective possessed of the same personality he had as a persnickety teacher in cravens music of the heart   jamie kennedy  resurrecting film geek randy for the sendoff he was denied in scream 2   and parker posey  through sheer force of will as a bactress   the visuals are much weaker in part three  as wellthe occasional sweeping gesture of peter demings camera is a pale imitation of the stalking steadicam craven gave us twice before   aside  in the wake of columbine  craven toned down the violence significantly for scream 3why the sanctimony  when scream and scream 2 are still readily available on video store shelves   finally  marco beltramis music cues the suspense too blatantlydo you recall the tense chase at the college radio station in scream 2  its mostly silent  sting notes are a whole lot more effective if they spring from nowhere  here  they act as the crescendos of an incessantly nervejangling score  i look at scream 3 as coming from an alternative universe  the same place that birthed the godfather part iii and superman iiiwoefully out of synch with its prequels  scream 3 is a nightmare instead of nightmarish  and will likely put the horror genre back in mothballs  the film unintentionally follows the unspoken rule of a trilogy to a t   part three must disappoint  
neg	a backdrop of new years eve in 1981 would seem to lend itself to a great party movie  the decor possibilities are endless  disco balls had yet to migrate into the dark corners of the attic  big hair was worth its weight in aquanet  and the louder the fashion  the better the look  but despite this setting  these details and a soundtrack that includes some 40plus irresistible hits from the early days of the me decade  something is inherently wrong with  200 cigarettes   a better title for this nostalgic mess would be  50 missed opportunities   what is it that makes this retrocomedy such a downer  its certainly not the cast  which includes enough hot  young talent for several movies  theres courtney love  cementing her reputation as a serious actress  christina ricci  hot off her shouldabeennominated turn in  the opposite of sex   paul rudd  who gets even more appealing with every role  kate hudson  inheriting some fine acting genes from mom goldie hawn  and affleck brothers ben and casey  two of the best things about  good will hunting   perhaps the question is this  what drew these and other immensely talented actors to such a dreary project  maybe it looked good on paper   200 cigarettes  is composed of a series of vignettes  as various characters make their way through new yorks festively decorated east village to a holiday bash thrown by a jittery bundle of nerves named monica  martha plimpton  all dressed up in her best cyndi lauper   among the potential guests are likeable cad kevin  rudd  and his best friend lucy  love   busy bickering over his recent breakup  and a clumsy but seemingly charming bartender  ben affleck  who opens his mouth only to spew forth bad pickup lines  more subplots  many more  dot the big picture  but those listed above are the only ones worth noting in a positive light  all the other story tangents are as frazzled as a cokehead trying to solve a rubicks cube  ricci and gaby hoffman grate as two ronkonkoma gals  the kind that have trouble pronouncing hard consonants  out to have a high time in the big city  infamously acerbic comedienne janeane garofalo is wasted in what amounts to a severalscene cameo  hudson  as a prettyinpink klutz recently devirginized by a reprehensible ladies man  jay mohr   trips  pukes and gets smeared with dog poop  are we laughing yet  the film boils down to a mixture of the good  the bad and the gaudy  with the latter two overtaking the former  game performances  especially by love  rudd and plimpton  are almost shot down by the bizarrely colorful parts and a constantly roving focus  here a combination that mostly sputters when it should crackle  too many sidetracks rate as uninteresting and have little payoff until a lengthy final montage where we find out many of the performers served as one night stands for each other  if this is  200 cigarettes   then get me 200 nicotine patches  
neg	the premise of the new james wong film  final destination  is that alex browning  the protagonist  prevents six of his friends from boarding a doomed airplane  thereby cheating fate  however  fate is not so easily bested  and alexs friends soon begin dying in unusual circumstances  essentially  this premise is a cleverway to make a slasherflick without the slasher  unfortunately  this is practically the only clever thing about the film  as far as teen horror flicks go  final destination is better than many  there is enough shocking death  graphic gore  and requisite black humor to provide the essential  roller coaster  type thrill at the heart of the average horror flick  unfortunately  this film also suffers from the worst characteristics of this genre  the relationships between the main characters are tenuous and their motivations are meaningless except as excuse to setup the next death  the scene where two of the characters break into a funeral home to view the body of their recently killed friend is suppose to be scary and dramatic but features some of the dumbest dialogue i have witnessed  if you are looking for a saturday night thriller to scare your date  this film might do the trick  other than that  wait until it goes into heavyrotation on cable  
neg	there is a scene in patch adams in which patch is in the center of a courtroom  surrounded by people who are giving him a lively standing ovation because of his strongworded attack on a group of stoic doctors  when i noticed that the audience with whom i saw this film was reacting the same way  i realized that i was going to have a hard time finding someone who agrees with me about the quality of the picture  you see  patch adams revolted me beyond all boundaries  i hated this movie for every second that i sat watching it  and i actively hate it now  days later  with the simpering  superficial  nauseatingly sentimental images forever plaguing my memories  i hate every element of the film  beginning with tom shadyacs shameless direction  and all the way up to the misguided and mishandled themes that the screenplay wants so desperately to convey  the badness of patch adams is stupefying  its confounding  i cant believe a film can be this bad  and yet  its based on a real man who probably has a good point to make  in the film  patch is played by the undefeatable and indefatigable robin williams  in a performance of such insulting pathos and sledgehammer sympathy that i wonder now if he is even human  in the beginning of the film  patch commits himself to a mental institution because he doesnt want to kill himself  while there  he notices that the doctors dont care about the patients  and that the best way to get through to the patients is to treat them like human beings  so  patch goes on a crusade to be a great doctor who actually talks to his patients  he goes to medical school  where he meets truman  daniel london  and convinces him that its good to help people  he also meets carin fischer  monica potters   the antimale med student who just wants to go through the motions and be a successful doctor  naturally  the dean of the medical school  bob gunton  hates patch  and wants to thwart his plans  even though patch gets the highest scores on all of his exams  so patch decides that hes going to build a free clinic in the middle of nowhere to help people with any problem they may have  and that  my friends  is the synopsis for what is easily the most abhorrent picture of 1998  on a superficial level  the film is not particularly bad  i wouldnt say the cinematography bothered me  and most of the performances seem to be exactly what shadyac was aiming for  i actually liked potters performance  even if she is wasted   but the film fails fundamentally in execution  every scene swells with grand   emotional  music  played at maximum volume just to get us all to cry real hard  take  for instance  the first scene  which shows patch sitting on a bus  we dont know patch yet  but theres sad music  and its supposed to make us really sad that hes sad  later on  patch makes a lot of progress  he helps a dying patient  peter coyote  to enjoy the last days of his life  and the music as patch is pushing the patient recklessly through the halls of the hospital is very lively  and when that patient finally dies  spoiler alert    the music is very very sad  but the problem with all of this is that the music should not be the center of the emotions  real drama is characterbased  you grow to like someone  and then something bad happens  and you feel it  we dont ever grow to know the dying patient  hes simply a vehicle for patchs greatness  real drama doesnt seem forced  or present just to make the audience cry  thats why patch adams is not real drama  it goes for every cheap tear imaginable  wringing tired and overbearing sentimentality out of every scene  even scenes that have very little impact on the overall film are drowning in marc shaimans sickening musical score  sentimentality like this is indeed bad  but its not as bad as halfbaked  simplistic themes  you see  patch is a really great student  he aces his tests without studying  and does it so effectively that people think hes cheating  but patch doesnt think that memorizing facts is the way to become a good doctor   why dont we see patients until the third year   he bursts out every three seconds  well  patch  that might have something to do with the fact that you need to learn something before you go treating patients  not everyone has the capability of memorizing facts with no effort  most of us have to study  and a doctor who really wants to help  but doesnt know a toe from a finger  probably wont be too successful in preventing death  oh wait  i almost forgot  the point of doctors is not just to  prevent death   but to  improve the quality of life   yes  that is true  and you can not do that without studying  you can not do that without going to medical school  what patch never seemed to understand was the possibility that maybe  just maybe  it is a good idea to study first and talk to patients later  follow the rules  bah  who needs the rules  only uptight doctors follow the rules  the real saviors are the ones running around the hospitals with big red spheres on their faces and sporting baggy yellow pants  and then theres the free clinic issue  which i find shockingly  frighteningly idealistic  a free clinic  in the middle of the forest  where patients can be taken to be helped  for free  how will patients be transported to the free clinic  will it have an emergency room  or is it just for mental patients  and who  may i ask  will pay for it  the film does give some token attempts to question patchs motives  i think another character asks him how hes going to pay for it  in addition to a little bit of meaningless blather about hmos and medical insurance   but they certainly dont explore or challenge patchs ideas to any meaningful extent  reader  please understand this  i am not making any kind of judgment on the real patch adams  i know nothing about him  if his beliefs mirror those of this film character  then i might like to have an intelligent discussion with him about them  but regardless of what the real patch adams believes  the themes put forth in this film are simplistic and phony  and in the last scene  the big  obligatory courtroom scene that forced my lunch halfway up my esophagus  patch does a lot of shouting  actually  robin williams does a lot of shouting  he shouts a lot about helping people  and a lot of people cry because they are moved by his words  i wont tell you that you cant be moved by his words  because i  too  was moved by his words  i was moved in such a profoundly negative way that i was reminded of how cheap and phony a cinematic experience can be  patch adams is the cheapest of them all  
neg	i have a great idea for a movie  one that cant miss  see  ive got coolio to do a song for the soundtrack  and about fifty athletes and celebrities to do cameo appearances  its about professional basketball  so ill release it right around the nba finals to guarantee added publicity  as for what the movie is actually about    well  that will all sort itself out eventually  i figure it will be a comedy  so ill throw a halfdozen writers at it and take the best of whatever they come up with  maybe well put a gender spin on it  see if we can get some women out to see it  too  eddie is one of those phenomenally lazy films that infuriates me more than any other kind  twister  as inane as the script might have been  at least required some creative technicians  mission  impossible  overwrought plot and all  at least involved genuine effort  eddie just sits there  hawking up a formula story without any laughs  and makes every possible bad decision when a decision is required  whoopi goldberg plays eddie franklin  a new york limo driver and diehard knicks fan who is suffering through a dismal season for her beloved team  coach john bailey  dennis farina  has lost control of his overpaid prima donnas  and the losses are beginning to mount  the dwindling attendance inspires new team owner wild bill burgess  frank langella  to try a publicity stunt in which a lucky fan will get to be an honorary coach of the team  the winner  surprise  surprise  is eddie  who becomes a fan favorite  and eventually the actual coach  the knicks continue to lose  but eddie has some sassy tricks up her sleeve to inspire her troops  incidentally  the knicks eventually start winning  please raise your hand if that comes as a shock  and i will invite you to my allnight marathon of the bad news bears  major league  angels in the outfield  the mighty ducks  the big green  cool runnings and little giants  awful teams in sports comedies make miraculous turnarounds  its what they do  those teams usually involve kids  for a very sound comedic reason  its funnier when they screw up  and theyre more sympathetic  those which dont involve kids usually have actual actors in the lead roles  for another very sound comedic reason  they generally have developed some sort of comic timing  eddie was cast under the misguided premise that its easier to make basketball players look like actors than it is to make actors look like basketball players  this finds nba players like greg ostertag  dwayne schintzius  rick fox and malik sealy delivering punch lines as though they were reading them for the first time off a bazooka wrapper  though sacramento kings center olden polynice has a nice moment describing a black hole to fellow players   perhaps that all didnt matter to anyone because there are so few punch lines  and because the whole film is one big casting gimmick  steve rash directs the spiritless script as though waving a flag of surrender and screaming   dont blame me  i just work here   perhaps it was patently obvious to him that eddie isnt a movie  its a cameo appearance that trips over a plot every once in a while  among the notables who lend their faces to this travesty are donald trump  new york mayor rudolph giulianni  former new york mayor ed koch  david letterman  letterman regulars mujibur rahman and sirajul islam  espn broadcaster chris berman and knicks announcer marv albert  as well as dozens of nba players and several nba arenas  and those are the real jokes in eddie  nothing these individuals say or do is funny  you are supposed to be laughing simply because you notice   hey  its donald trump   or  hey  its mujibur and sirajul   its difficult to decide whether eddie is so bad because it was so shamelessly lacking in imagination or because it cant even get the cliches in a clicheridden genre script right  the knicks coach who is eddies antagonist early in the film reappears at the end  but he isnt given a chance to be the villain eddie desperately needs  neither is frank langella  and none of the athleteactors have the ability to give whoopi goldberg anything to play off of  that leaves her to do her streetwise miss thang routine  but with no character  no sharp lines and no help  eddie isnt just a bad movie with a formulaic premise  its a movie that makes you feel cheated and offended  because someone came up with a poster and a marketing plan to which they had to attach an actual movie  and you had the nerve to believe it was going to be a comedy  
neg	as any reasonable human being would  i must admit that occasionally i am befuddled by certain things  i am befuddled by fight club  now sometimes our favorite films are panned by critics and do not achieve critical success until much later  sometimes as much as ten or twenty years later  perhaps it is because these films are way ahead of their time  perhaps it is because they are so new and complex that only after years of allowing them to sink in do we truly appreciate and understand them  fight club is either garbage or brilliant  but  at least right now  i must lean toward the former  maybe i am subconsciously affected by word of mouth that has been slowly leaking throughout the media for weeks that this film is pure gold  but if it is  i sure don  t see it  edward norton plays jack  a field examiner for a major automobile manufacturer  his insomnia  coupled with his compulsive desires to fill his world with ikea furniture to  complete  himself  make him a loser at the game of life  but when all of his worldly possessions are blown out his 15th story window  he seeks comfort in a stranger  tyler  pitt  whom he met on a flight home  once jack is sucked into tyler  s world  he can  t get out  literally  they begin fight club  an organization based on brutal and bloody fistfights that signify nothing other than to provide those that join a sense of belonging  as the fight club grows  things get out of control and take on cult status  beginning with one future soldier who proves his worth by standing still outside tyler  s house for three days  i dare not even begin to bring up the last quarter of the film  since that contains the twist that  explains  the pointless journey  suffice it to say i was truly disappointed in fincher  who  s previous two films  se7en and the game put him in a very slim category of truly brilliant young filmmakers of the next generation  this is not to imply by any means that he is no longer a genius or capable of bringing more masterpieces to the table  but with fight club  he has allowed his unique talent for extraordinary vision to be distorted by silly digital experiments and selfreferencing film elements  such as talking to the audience about what they are seeing  telling them that the little blips in the right hand corner are signifiers that the projectionist is changing reels and that a slightly altered recurring line is good  flashback humor   now  throughout the film  s coarsely woven texture and overextended plot lines  fight club is obviously trying to make various social comments about the state of the world today  advertisements  interoffice politics  corporations  you name it  it  s addressed   though the media are suspiciously absent from the institutions that are referenced   all of them play an important role  how so  well  i can kinda just tell  i can  t really put my finger on it  to say that starbucks and barnes  noble are taking over their respective markets and kicking out the small business owner is no big news  is that bad for the world  probably  not much room for social commentary there  we all know that interoffice politics are just that    politics  so what was the point of all this  the film seems desperate to make a point  or a number of points  but i couldn  t figure out what they were  all i saw was a very bizarre social satire that was woven with strange film techniques  a bleak visual design and some fine acting   pitt  carter  norton    all of them are good  even meatloaf is good   when you get to the end  you will most likely be filled with questions  many of which the filmmakers wanted you to ask of yourself  not them  because each of them would likely give you a different answer  fight club means what you want it to mean  i think fincher just gives you the stuff to think about  but it couldn  t be more bizarre and unappealing  sure  it had shock value  but so did se7en and the game  and they were significantly stronger films  
neg	staring  george clooney  arnold schwarzenegger  chris odonnell and uma thurman with alicia silverstone  well to start this off id just like to say a couple things  first is  i miss michael keaton  i miss tim burton and would much prefer to think that these last two batman films are all like a dallas dream sequence  not even from the first film was batman really the star though he was damn close in the first couple anyway  in batman forever and now in batman  robin hes almost pushed to being a bit player  i cant really say if clooney  who regardless was better than kilmer  was a very good batman or not  hes given next to nothing to do at all  he might as well not have been there and it wouldnt have made much difference  now  joel schumacher has said that he refuses to bend to the masses that have hated his films and cheered for the return of buton that he wont make batman brooding and dark  fine  i mean granted batman returns while being an awsome film was a bit to dark sometimes  yet his bright neon  campy style is just killing anything this series meant to me  im usually very easy on films  i loved con air and other films some critics have slammed  granted that film really was paper thin  cliche ridden  except for one thing  it was fun  there is virtually no fun in this film at all  i couldnt have cared less  itll thrill the little ones as theres no violence really  none everyone comes out fine in the end like those old tv shows where it ends with everyone laughing  schwarzenegger is awful  i mean really  really bad    and this is coming from a regular fan of his work  i love his movies most of the time and the basic reason is he never says much in any of them  he talks all to often in this movie  i would have much prefered to have seen patric stewart in the roll  i believe to truely like a film you have to care about at least someone in a film  i liked alfred but the reason behind it is a cheap shot  
neg	even though i have the utmost respect for richard dreyfuss as an actor  his presence in a motion picture does not guarantee any particular level of quality  like everyone else  dreyfuss has bills to pay  so he occasionally accepts big paychecks for prominent roles in bad movies  consequently  while his career highlights include jaws  close encounters of the third kind  stakeout  and tin men  his resume is dotted with titles like moon over parador  let it ride  and now krippendorfs tribe  let me start out by saying that krippendorfs tribe is occasionally funny  although never riotously so   but thats about its only asset  the best word to describe this film is  asinine   the target audience would appear to be recent nursery school graduates if not for the numerous sexual innuendoes  which are aimed at someone going through puberty  krippendorfs tribe tries to be a zany  offthewall comedy  but the film makers have forgotten three important rules  the first is that some minimal level of plot credibility has to exist  the second is that viewers should be able to identify with  or at least care about  a character or two  finally  and most importantly  more than 5 of the jokes have to work  once upon a time  james krippendorf  dreyfuss  was a respected professor of anthropology at little bounderby college  he and his wife obtained a grant to seek out a  lost tribe  somewhere in the wilds of new guinea  a goal which they never accomplished  shortly after their return from the failed trip  krippendorfs wife died and he was left with the herculean task of raising three children  shelly  natasha lyonne   mickey  gregory smith   and edmund  carl michael linder   on his own  now  over a year later  the college wants to see the results of the money they gave krippendorf  which he has spent not on research  but on things for his family   so they send a new member of their faculty  professor veronica micelli  jenna elfman   to inform him that he has been scheduled to give a lecture on his findings  when he arrives at the college for the momentous event  rather than telling the truth and risking being sent to jail for misappropriating school funds  he fabricates a tale about a mythical lost tribe  the  shelmikedmu   to provide video footage  he films his children dressed in native garb  soon  much to krippendorfs surprise  the shelmikedmu are a national phenomenon  but one disaffected professor  lily tomlin  is determined to prove that the tribe is a fraud  the only way krippendorfs tribe works is if you assume that all of the characters  not to mention the viewers  are dumber than dirt  unfortunately  its impossible to like or sympathize with a bunch of putzes like this  director todd holland completely fails to develop any character into something more substantial than a device to implement various dubious gags  meanwhile  attempts at satirizing the shallowness of american culture  i  e   how easily the public can be fooled into jumping on the bandwagon of the latest trend  come across as feeble and derivative  the acting in underwhelming  dreyfuss has definitely not given his  all  to the role of james krippendorf  alongside him  jenna elfman  the spunky costar of tvs dharma and greg  radiates perkiness and little else  this quality  while fine for a 22minute television program  quickly becomes irritating in the arena of a featurelength movie  no one in the supporting cast  lily tomlin  david ogden stiers  natasha lyonne  woody allens daughter in everyone says i love you   excels  i know that a movies in trouble when its half the length of titanic  but seems much longer  most of what comes on screen is generic sitcom level material  the kind of slop that people will absorb while dozing off in their favorite easy chair in front of the television set  if theres any upside  its that i dont see much boxoffice support developing for this lame  illmarketed miscue  krippendorfs tribe will quickly become extinct  
neg	movies about teenagers and teenage culture rarely prove to be either interesting  entertaining or convincing  because of one fundamental reason  movies are made by adults and not teenagers  occasionally  however  films like say anything  dazed and confused and the breakfast club will break the mold and offer genuine insight into the lives of those bizarre creatures which surround us called  teenagers   cant hardly wait  however  does not  instead  the writingdirecting team of harry elfont and deborah kaplan manages to take every clich  found in the teenage genre  strip it completely of perception  intelligence and wit  and turn it into one of the most nauseating cinematic experiences i have ever been subjected to  cant hardly wait follows a group of characters as they attend a house party on the night of their high school graduation  the main characters are such perfected stereotypes that no analysis needs to be provided to perfectly understand them  theres the average male protagonist preston  ethan embry   prom queen and cheerleader amanda  jennifer lovehewitt   football star mike  peter facinelli   white rapper wannabe kenny  seth green   computer geek william  charlie korsmo   and brainy outsider denise  lauren ambrose   i couldnt stand any of those characters  whether it was william getting drunk and signing along to heavy metal songs or kenny proclaiming  yo  i gotta have sex tonight    all i could think of was how elfont and kaplan possibly managed to con columbia pictures out of ten million dollars to fund their film  apparently  cant hardly wait is supposed to be a comedy  but it tends to fail in this respect because of the fact that its not funny  in all honesty  elfont and kaplan should be forced by their employers to attend remedial classes in humour  and when i say  forced   i mean it  they should be strapped down to a chair and have their eyes wedged open in a similar fashion to alex in a clockwork orange  this is how desperately they need to be educated about the concept of humour  for instance  cant hardly wait features a foreign exchange student who is instructed to repeat absurd statements such as  i am a sex machine   for some reason  elfont and kaplan believe that if this character repeats it enough  eventually it will be funny  if only elfont and kaplan could recognise the irony that they actually got paid for making this junk  now thats funny  
neg	way of the gun is brimming with surprises  some good  most bad  one of the good ones is ryan phillippes surprisingly halfway decent performance  after the actor gained much attention by posing and preening through teen swill like i know what you did last summer  he hinted at a bit growth in last years cruel intentions with his amusingly contemptuous john malkovich meets james spader performance  though his acting in that film faltered around the third act mark  precisely when the screenplay made his character grow a heart  presumably to appeal to his training bra wearing fans  and start bellyaching about how hed fallen for his  target   it was a dramatic shift that neither phillippe nor the films director could negotiate  but he seems to be trying and that shouldnt be overlooked  or probably over praised  seeing as how  at this point  he really isnt required to do much but look pretty  here  phillippe has procured a five day growth of beard  his hair askew and his affect altered to sound something like james cagney in all his  look here  see  glory  its tough to believe a pretty boy like phillippe as a hard ass  but his performance actually helps with the illusion  unlike ben afflecks puppy dog approach in reindeer games  phillippe is believable and not too bad at that  as for the plot  well  thats one of the bad surprises  phillippe and the great benicio del torro play two moronic  and not even remotely likeable  criminals  introduced to us in the parking lot of a rave where they stupidly pick a fight with about twenty people  who hatch a scheme to kidnap a surrogate mother  juliette lewis  after overhearing that shes carrying the baby of painter  scott wilson   a very well connected wealthy man  the kidnapping devolves into a laborious shoot out where much damage is done and many are killed  but the antiheroes escape with the woman while an aging hit man  james caan  and two scheming bodyguards  taye diggs and nicky katt  remain in pursuit  directed by christopher mcquarrie  the screenwriter who won an oscar for his work on usual suspects  an overrated piece of crime noir in many circles  this one included   way of the gun is a hodgepodge of crime thriller motifs that just oozes eye rolling familiarity  unlike phillipe  mcquarrie doesnt seem to be growing at all  he fills his flick with a sprawling labyrinth of plot all snatched from movies i know ive seen before and worse  it feels like it  the film lacks even a fresh approach  like what soderbergh did out of sight or the limey  to its clich  s  all of which are spewed before us in a picture that tries so desperately to be hip and gritty without bothering to notice how common it is  it features characters living by a code they seemed to have picked up in sam peckinpah 101 rather than any thing resembling life  even attempts at emotional weight feel strained like in preposterous scene where enemies james caan and benicio del torro stop in their tracks to have a cup of coffee and pontificate on life  philosophy  etc  i didnt like the bit much when it first appeared in heat  here  its even more self consciously  dramatic   usual suspects  which also featured a bunch of low lives that seemed to live by a code they learned from the movies  worked to some degree because of that astonishing twist ending  nowadays an astonishing twist per ending is de rigeur  never mind if it deems all that transpired before it completely inconsequential  thus  nearly every character in way comes with at least one dirty little secret  most amateurishly projected before they appear  and it too has an ironic little twist at the end  nothing earth shattering  like in the usual suspects  but i admit  i didnt see it coming  and i smiled  however most of the movie feels exactly like the interrogation scenes between palminteri and spacey in usual suspects  a lot of faux huffing and puffing with no rhythm or reason  or substance  its just as overplotted as suspects  and often dull as any overplotted movie without interesting characters  a distinctive style  or a good script would be  even the good stuff  most of which involves james caan  doing a fine job   feels odd and out of place in a movie that thinks lines like  karma is only justice with out the satisfaction  are clever  at one point caan laments  need is the ultimate monkey  a line so inexplicable he might as well have said  love is like hippo ass   ive seen porno with better dialogue  and some with better plot lines too  but rarely has porn offered up such a talented cast  i mean  can you even compare james caan to ron jeremy   caan slips into this role with seeming ease  he could do this kind of softspoken tough guy in a coma  but he manages to give his character depth and weariness  benicio del torro is always welcome  though here he plays it fairly straight  rather than another oddball character creation like the ones the actor gave us in usual suspects and excess baggage   adopting a brad pittesque quizzical pout to go along with his heavy swaggering  speaking of pitt  his ex  juliette lewis  is a weak link  either shouting her lines with ear shattering shrillness  or waddling about like a silly goose  nicky katt was brilliant in a brief role in the limey  here his role is just as brief only he seems wasted  hes only kept around for his cold presence  taye diggs has a similar function  cool as ever  but never a character  though the guy has one helluva death scene  for the most part way is incessantly talky with no reason to give a hippos ass about any thing that transpires since its characters are never more than simplistic pawns  its vaguely tarantinoish  but in a bad truth and consequences nm way  with phillippe  in one scene  leaping into a stupid rant about  faggots  migrating to los angeles  you know the routine  the final shoot out is pure bargain basement john woo  who himself seems to be doing bargain basement john woo  with interchangeable bad guys lining up to be shot at  but those gun shots sure crack like thunder  just the other day i was watching an old dirty harry movie on cable and was stunned to hear the weak elephant gruntlike sound that emanated from harrys fetishized smith and wesson  oh how far weve come  
neg	when critics attack seemingly wellintentioned films like patch adams or more recently pay it forward as i am about to do  their opinions are often greeted with a backlash of angry emails  sometimes even mock death threats from those who  i suppose  like to be shamelessly manipulated by their entertainment  even politicians    tend to dismiss film critics as heartless cynics for occasionally dumping on goodhearted films while praising  filth  like pulp fiction  these fill in the derogatory term that you are comfortable with tend to forget that a film critics job is to review the movie  not the message  however sweet and endearing that message may be  thusly patch adams isnt a bad film because its about a doctor who cares for his patients  its a bad film because its a calculated piece of brazen audience exploitation  similarly while pay it forward may have its heart in the right place  though i even doubt that  stay tuned  an explanation is forthcoming   its still an unpleasantly maudlin mess  the picture is about an emotionally guarded 5th grade history teacher  a somewhat similarly guarded kevin spacey   with a burn scared face and equally singed attitude  who gives his class the seemingly impossible assignment of doing one thing over the course of the semester that will change the world  12 year old trevor  haley joel osmet   a disneyfied do gooder who takes care of his alcoholic mother  helen hunt   comes up with the notion to pay it forward  this entails a person doing one good deed  call it an uber favor  for three others  then telling them to do the same for three others and before long were all living in a frank capra movie  meanwhile in a parallel story  a weasely reporter  jay mohr  tracks the  movement  which has apparently begun to grow  pay it forward has odd ideas about tone  at certain points it hurls a smattering of unnecessary cynicism at us as if that would be the appropriate antidote to the unrelenting sappiness at its core  its as if director mimi leder didnt have the confidence to make pay it forward the way she intended  and compromised out of fear that her film wasnt  gutsy  enough to earn the acclaim it has clearly been made for  so the picture adds grit  a child molester propositions trevor  a homeless man returns to heroin after being  saved   a character is knifed while doing a good deed  etc  though it seems shallow  incorporated into the proceedings because the film itself isnt quite sure if its ready to buy into its own utopian blather  pay it forward offers  crowd pleasing  elements for general audiences  jay mohrs umpteenth variation on the waspy sleazeball  angie dickinsons earthy alcoholic bag woman  and the jivetalking  black hoodlum with a heart of gold   coming on the heals of the black  godlike inmate embodied by gabriel casseus in bedazzled  this may just be the beginnings of a brand new guilty white liberal clich   hurray for hollywood  who actually calls the mohr character a  nigga  and says things like  can you feel me   leave it to pay it forward to happily include a little minstrel act for our further enjoyment   maybe spikes flick wasnt so misguided after all   these scenes feel as if they belong in a dopey comedy with feel good aspirations rather than the irritatingly saccharine drama that youll find yourself trapped in should you not heed my warnings  while the filmmakers have stressed in interviews that they actually hope this is a film that could make the world a better place  to me the final product has the oily feel of a cynical politician contemptuously reciting cookie fortune slogans to a hopeful audience  its a picture that looks to be tailor made for academy consideration  with the main players  all previous oscar winners or nominees  given big emotional scenes that are practically variations on their most lauded turns  one scene in which a slightly deglamed helen hunt  deglamed here means that not only is she a fashion victim her look is somewhere between goth queen and trailer park mama  hunts hair is also natty and badly bleached  verbally castigates spacey  feels right out of her as good as it gets oscar clip  spacey  of course  responds in his cultured monotone  that could be straight from his low key american beauty performance  maybe the actor should get an award for coming off the least self consciously irritating  though how can he not  even when hes emoting spacey seems somehow shielded by a wry indifference  the usually talented helen hunt is the worst offender  in one atrocious touched by an angel moment hunt slaps osmet  immediately covering her mouth with the guilty hand in that very same stroke  and with said hand still on said mouth  she actually begins convulsing  dry heaving really   then  and im not making this up  she scurries to the kitchen tearing the place apart in a frenzied search for alcohol  the scene is so hokey it could very nearly be construed as a parody of hackneyed tv movie blowups  its all very theatrical  especially hunts performance  which feels like a pathetic plea to the academy for another oscar  pay it forward has the dubious distinction of being a film that could be used as an argument for why actors shouldnt get academy awards  the picture unknowingly affirms that oscars transform nuanced talent into overwrought expressionists  even haley joel osemt  the wunderkind who was nominated for an academy award for his unforced performance in sixth sense  seems more divisive about his expressions and inflections  his acting has become broader  less intimate  its as if we can make out the little munchkins thoughts   boy this outta floor em   naturally osmet is made to play one of those onlyinthemovies children  a martyrfigure who cleans up after his mother  lectures her on the ills of drinking  and even fixes her up on a date with his intellectual teacher  never mind that the two couldnt be more dissimilar  his mother is trailer trash dopey  and the teacher is one of those dennis millerey intellectuals who hides his insecurities behind a vast vocabulary  nevertheless this little nudnik goes out of his way to bring the pair together in a scene that recalls parent trapish cornball antics  but oh how we love bright  articulate  selfsacrificing children who pick adults up by their bootstraps and guide them through life  theyre so adorable  of course the blame cant all be hoisted onto the actors  though with the exception of the little kid  they probably should have known better   instead the brunt of it should be passed on to mimi leder  who directed one of the most thrilling episodes of er  then went on to make two awful genre films in a row  the first being the peacemaker  a witless postcold war george clooney vehicle  and deep impact  one of the two films of 1998 to squander the premise of earths possible demise by a crazed meteorite  the first flick was sunk by an over reliance on clich  s  and a complete absence of any kind of emotional involvement  not aided by an ending which actually centered around the diffusing of a ticking time bomb complete with digital read out  apparently present for an invisible audience   deep impact has more in common with pay it forward  its a movie that treats earths impending destruction in awfully simplistic terms  completely ignoring the havoc that would so obviously take place if the world believed its planet would be a goner within days  the film was full of inspirational speeches where people really said nothing  though the sappy score swelled up to make it appear as if they were being profoundly touching  in pay it forward leder continues in this vein with her intermittent dollops of cynicism seeming almost like a rebuttal   see my movie isnt as na  ve as you might think  she seems to be saying  no  its just horribly confused  
neg	where do i begin  okay  how about with this  starship troopers is one of the worst movies to hit theaters in a long time  in fact  it might even be the worst  major  release film to come out in years    or even a decade  this is bad beyond belief  i would  not  suggest paying money to see this  theres a good chance youll regret it  if you see it for free  you could still want to walk out  go right ahead  the movie starts off with cheesy 90210 scenes set in the future world of    buenos aires  here we meet the group of horrendously bad actors and actresses playing obnoxious  easyto  despise  withapassion characters that have love triangles  love rectangles  and love hexagons screwing up their life  before long they all go off and join the military  primarily in the interest of having sex with the other youngsters that joined  they train  they strut around nude for no reason whatsoever  after an hour of making the audience scream in agony  they start fighting bugs  the big bugs look nice  even though their design is only  okay   unfortunately  the fights are boring since we  want  all of the characters dead anyway  cue more agony  then some characters have sex  then some more die     who cares       cue more agony  the movie ends  the audience runs out to their cars  vomits over the pavement  and attempts to drive home  unfortunately  after that torture  they cant think straight  dont pay attention to the road  and many are in ugly car wrecks  you remember how batman  robin was bad  well  batman  robin kicked this movies sorry butt  people  starship troopers does not succeed as an action movie  it does not succeed as a drama  it does not succeed as a war movie  it does not succeed as a comedy  it does not succeed as a satire  it does not succeed as a parody  it succeeds as being horrible  terrible  gutwrenchingly bad  i wanted to run away from that movie every minute  but i paid my money and i owed it to others to see if the movie got any better  so i stayed  it never got better  frequently  it did the impossible  and got  worse   the movie as written  acted  directed  and basically just feels as a whole like its about on the mental maturity level of a free willy 4  the whole thing feels like a movie that only threeyearolds could enjoy    except for the ridiculously gratuitous blood and gore  and pointless nudity  its written for little children  but children should definitely  not  go anywhere near it  of course  i recommend the same for everyone  dont go anywhere near it  verhoevens got a streak going now  his last movie was showgirls  he seems to be trying to see how bad his movies can get before people finally stop coming  showgirls was a failure  but it appears that  though itll be lucky to make near its budget  this movie will still do okay grosswise  is it really  all  bad  well  no  troopers has about four or five lines of dialougeshort humorous scenes that are actually funny  mostly from the  do you want to know more   commercials that pop up throughout the story  promoting the joys of the joining the troopers  so that adds up to about 30 seconds of entertainment and still about one hour  59 minutes  and 30 seconds of miserable torture  im totally confused as to the way that some people are really enjoying this movie  but i do admit it  so  if youre willing to possibly put yourself through torture  go ahead and see it  and decide for yourself if you love it or hate it  i dont know how anyone or any  thing  could love this movie  but hey  to each his own  feel free to give it a shot  of course  in the interest of saving your souls  i dont recommend it  but guess what  alien resurrection comes out november 26th  and  having already seen some of it and having read the script  i assure you that it will blow pretty much everyone away  though opinion on starship troopers is reasonably split  itll be difficult to find someone that  wont  like alien resurrection when theyve seen it  this is possibly the years best intense action film  or at least  one  of the best  if you really want to see alien warfare thats played out intelligently and seriously  see alien resurrection  please  avoid this  
neg	adam sandler turns up the charm in his latest romantic comedy  the wedding singer  unfortunately  that also has the effect of softening his edge  hes nowhere near his peak of happy gilmore  not that it was much of one  hes certainly not helped here by a rather frail plot  the year is 1985  letting the whole film obsess with 80s nostalgia  adam sandler is nice guy robbie  the titular wedding singer  who entertains at the local reception hall by belting out his interpretations of classic 80s hits  robbies life is thrown into turmoil when his fiancee  linda  angela featherstone   leaves him at the altar  however  things are looking up when he meets julia  drew barrymore   a waitress at the hall  shes the perfect woman  but for one small flaw  shes engaged to be married to a slick junk bond king  glenn  matthew glave   so  most of the film deals with the slow realization by robbie that he and julia are in love  and his attempts to stop the wedding  as far as plots go  its a pretty thin and tired one  to fill the gaps  the wedding singer delivers heaping spoonfuls of 1980s nostalgia  from boy george to michael jackson  from miami vice to dallas  from the first cds to the last rubiks cubes  this film revels in all the minutiae  and then theres the music    learning a lesson from the successful soundtracks to grosse pointe blank  and romy and micheles high school reunion  this film packs more 80s songs in the film than the running time will allow  as a result  most songs get maybe a lyric or a half  but you can almost see the bright gleam in the record executives eyes  the wedding singer vols  2  3  and 4  while the nonstop 80s riffs get incredibly tiring  at least they distract you from the plot  at least last years my best friends wedding stirred up the standard  keep your true love from marrying someone else  plot by making the rival a nice person  here  glenn is such a lowly rat of a man that you never see what julia saw in him  barrymore  on the other hand  is simply charming as julia  which leaves us with adam sandler  hes at his best in the film when his nice guy persona fades a little  such as when he has a breakdown on stage during a wedding reception   when hes in full niceguy mode  hes more pathetic than endearing  the film boasts several cameos  most notably by steve buscemi and jon lovitz   but none of them work well at all  buscemis role as a drunken best man simply fails to be humorous  lovitz  on the other hand  as a rival wedding singer  makes you long for his good old days on saturday night live  where he was actually funny  the only cameo which has some appeal is a guest appearance by a classic 80s rocker during the films finale  surprisingly  one of the only plotrelated scenes which actually works   adam sandler still has some work to do before he can become a dependable leading man  while he attempts to change his image in the wedding singer  the end result is no net gain  
neg	arriving in a barrage of hype  the blair witch project is one of the biggest box office success of the year  however  like the golden child  although blair witch has made a lot of money  its not very good  donahue  williams and leonard play themselves as three students who set out to make a documentary about the blair witch myth  the film is made up of the camcorder footage they recorded  which means grainy footage and woozy camera angles  although events start of normal  they get weird pretty quickly  while the threesome argue more and more as the journey goes on  although an interesting premise  the blair witch project amounts to nothing more than a missed opportunity  the biggest mistake the film makes is to let three mediocre actors the chance to improvise  most of the dialogue is adlibbed  and still manages to sound like a poor bmovie  the script eventually degenerates into shouting matches  with the fword included a lot to sound like students  there are breaks in these arguments where some creepy events occur  but then its back to the shouting and swearing  which gets very tiresome very quickly  if i wanted to see three people get lost in the woods  shout a lot and swear  id go on scout camp  but no  the audience is meant to get some entertainment factor out of this  but im not quite sure how  the supernatural parts of the film are actually interesting  especially if close attention is paid to the story developing first twenty minutes  with no music and no budget to work with  the film has to depend on natural  psychological scares  which are sometimes well delivered  sometimes not  i never really felt truly scared during any part of the film  although there is a small sense of fear underlying throughout the film  however  because the actors are so irritating  the scares are lost when it eventually reverts back to heather saying what the f  ck is that   a lot  and mike giggling like a loony  theres also the niggling fact that these student filmmakers do some really stupid things  the main problem is the fact that even though these hapless bunch could be killed at any moment  and are hopelessly lost  heather still insists on filming it all  the film gives a half hearted reason why she should want to do this  but it isnt very convincing  also  the students have no idea how to survive in the woods  such as following a large river flowing through the woods to civilisation  there are also some parts where the amateur camcorder footage is obviously staged  heathers apology being a major one  the blair witch project  in the end  just fails to deliver  i suppose if youve been lost camping before  the film may deliver some chills  but this is no use for the other 99 of the paying audience who havent been lost in the woods  apart from the final minutes  the film is mind boggingly unscary  and the shouting matches get hideously dull  the spook scenes are short and far between  and any other horror movie could probably achieve the same amount of fear that these scenes provide  although a good idea  its not executed well enough to be a fun  scary cinema experience  its a worrying fact when the website  http  www  blairwitch  com  is better than the film  
neg	the u  s  army utilizes a number of books known as field manuals which stipulate the specific way in which almost every action imaginable must be done  one particular field manual is known as the fm 225  which among other things  covers the practice of saluting  under the  saluting  section is a subsection which covers how a salute is rendered by a military work detail in the presence of a superior officer  the salute is rendered by the highestranking individual present when the superior officer comes within six paces of the detail  and is dropped when the officer passes six paces from the detail  in any event  the salute is rendered only by the man  or woman  in charge  rather than by the whole group  almost at the very beginning of the generals daughter  we see a generals motorcade passing a work detail  everyone salutes  it looked impressive  but it just wasnt right  that little bit showed me that someone either didnt do the appropriate research  or made the conscious decision to go with style over substance for the scene  in fact  this would serve as a metaphor for the rest of the picture  as it seems director simon west tried so hard to craft a film with atmosphere and flash that he forgot a coherent story and good characterization are also crucial to a good movie  what results is a film that looks good  but like that one scene  just isnt right  the first fifteen minutes of the film is a good example  paul brenner  john travolta  is an agent for the armys criminal investigation division  undercover at a georgia army base to investigate an illegal arms sale  prior to the transaction  the buyer gets a whiff that brenner isnt the unscrupulous supply sergeant hes supposed to be  and later that night attempts to kill him by shooting up the houseboat on which brenner is living  so ensues a cat and mouse action sequence which ends like a certain scene in raiders of the lost ark  well just say that it involves propellers   brenner then receives new orders when the commanding generals daughter  captain elisabeth campbell  leslie stefanson   is found naked  bound  and dead on one of the bases training ranges  he is teamed with rape investigator sarah sunhill  madeleine stowe  to uncover the truth about the peculiarly gruesome murder  what i want to know is why the whole action scene with the arms buyer was even necessary  it gives no insight into brenner  other than the fact that hes a little cocky  does the arms subplot turn up later  no  so why add this extra running time to the film  the answer  it looked cool  or how about the  atmosphere   the beginning of the generals daughter presents us with imagery of the deep south  thick trees  dirt roads  sultry colors over water  all backed up with bayouesque music  nice immersion in the setting  but it soon doesnt matter  for when the films plot shifts over to the murder investigation  so does the entire mood  no attention is paid to the location of the story  and the music is altered to fit a very generic thriller theme  did the filmmakers start out thinking they were making a different movie  instead of creating a cohesive atmospheric theme for the entire film  we get the distraction of one of theme followed by another  just because the director thought he should show off some of the countryside  the above examples also serve to illustrate that inconsistency is another problem with this movie  as ive already mentioned  an entire section of the film doesnt jibe with the rest  and the characterization only adds to the difficulty  brenner  who comes across as a man with little respect for authority  suddenly snaps to in the presence of general campbell  james cromwell  and utters some of the corniest  yes  sir  s ive ever heard  he even delivers an emotioncharged monologue about why he will work so hard to catch the person who killed the generals daughter  even though he was totally flippant about the whole thing just a couple of minutes previous  sunhill  who initially comes across as a professional investigator  utilizes a couple of blatantly illegal methods to obtain information  and even revels in her ingenuity  both characters are protagonists  but its hard to get behind them when their personalities are all over the place  and in some cases  simply unappealing  i could imagine that during filming  west would shoot a scene  then take the actors aside and tell them   lets do it again  but this time  i want more   i say this because although travolta and stowe are normally very good  in this film they overact in most of their scenes  an even worse offender is clarence williams iii as the generals aide  colonel fowler  i swear the guy says all of his lines from the position of attention  a far cry from his days as linc in  the mod squad   i cant help but think he was acting from wests direction  a couple of side characters including a west point psychologist  john beasly  and a young female private  ariyan a  johnson  make their scenes nearly impossible to bear  the only two actors who seem to have escaped wests influence are james woods  who provides a good performance as colonel moore  elisabeths mentor at the psychological operations unit  and timothy hutton as colonel kent of the military police  woods relishes the role of a man whose job is playing with peoples minds  and does so without ever taking it over the top  hutton just kind of hangs around  but at least he wasnt overacting  i havent read the nelson demille novel on which this movie was based  but ill bet more than a few dollars that the story was better in book form  the movie version has got characters which come and go with little or nothing to do except fill up space  or provide bits of information which seem to neither mean anything in terms of advancing the story nor reveal any significance once the whole story is finished  every time were presented with some new aspect to the case  west gives us more of that flash by playing it up like its the most momentous discovery ever  but the information is not used by the investigators at all  instead  when conclusions are drawn  they are such tremendous leaps of faith that you wonder if successful investigations are not based on facts  but lucky guesses instead  the army should have saved time by bringing in brennan and sunhill  letting them play a game of twenty questions with the suspects  then letting them guess who the killer was  wouldve been over in a half hour  the film finishes with a sort of bookend  featuring the same style and southern scenery as the very beginning  literally during the closing credits  we get to see brennan get in his car and drive off  then we get to see sunhill get in her car and drive off  they both seem kind of happy  maybe they were driving away from simon west  
neg	i dont appreciate it when a thriller manipulates the viewer into thinking the plot is interesting  when in fact its ludicrous  in the case of the generals daughter  the plot is more than capable of intriguing you to a certain point  but at this juncture in the story  the movie begins to fall apart like a crumbling cookie  this predictable summer thriller is only sporadically involving  and that is unfortunately not enough to compensate for all of its detailed flaws  get past one moment early on where john travolta exercises his southern accent  and youre likely to survive this entire movie  travolta plays criminal investigations divisions officer paul brenner  whos working undercover at a military base when another situation arises  the apparent rape and murder of a young female officer  leslie stefanson   it turns out that the victim is the daughter of general joe campbell  james cromwell   let the investigation begin  with the assistance of fellow cid investigator sarah sunhill  played rather onthesidelines by madeleine stowe   brenner uncovers what appears to be an intricate and bizarre homicide case  things begin to get marginally engrossing when we meet colonel moore  james woods   a former commanding officer of the deceased who has a few secrets up his sleeve  woods submits another scenestealing performance here as he oozes authority  surrounded by clouds of smoke emitted from his cigar  with echoes of his supporting role in true crime  in which he duked it out with clint eastwood in enjoyably profane verbal exchanges  he makes every moment believable  here though  the intense dialogue comes care of confrontations with travolta  as the two send mindful  knowing glares across the room  there are many scenes such as this in the generals daughter  in which the veteran cast performs splendidly under pressure  but the circumstances that tie these meetings together are difficult to absorb  director simon west  con air   shows a watchful eye of delivering a stylish looking thriller  but he fails miserably when it comes to the intellectual part of it  the generals daughter is  more often than not  a predictable and unexciting mess  it does not help matters that the plot is virtually actionless  dragging its heels all the way at a mindnumbing snails pace  a few brief action scenes  marvelously handled in the editing department  show that the movie could have delivered such a more proficient package  from a director who does such a great job of staging explosions and miraculous stunts  i suggest west should stick with mindless  riproaring action features and attempt to avoid future projects like this  still  the movie is certainly not without its merits  the acting is very good from the majority of the experienced cast  the performances range from commanding  travolta  to electric  woods  to stiffasaboard  cromwell  who doesnt show off his real talents here   madeleine stowe manages to hold her own for a while  but as the female lead in an actionthriller  she doesnt pull through sufficiently  one of the problems with the execution is that its very predictable  from minute one  i had few doubts about the identity of the killer in question  the script even unwillingly points him out for us  using familiar techniques to hide his guilt until the unmasking toward the end  in all fairness  weve seen many of the devices used in the generals daughter put to greater effect in other films  the secrets behind the girls mysterious death are explained gradually  but by the resolution we have tunneled through so much malarkey that it feels unnecessary and surprisingly silly  the generals daughter is not a terrible movie  and it is involving enough to sustain a viewers attention span for a certain period of time  but it just could have been so much better  
neg	at one point in this movie there is a staging of an opera that goes completely wrong  but one member of the crowd stands up and cheers  thinking the performance was planned  and applauding it for their efforts  thats  dirty work  in a nutshell  a very different kind of movie  this is not a movie that i can easily review  the critic in me analyzes the structure  plot  acting  characters    and tells me this movie is terrible  but the norm macdonald fan in me had me rolling on the floor laughing  this movie plays more like an hbo sketch comedy than a movie  its a one note concept  mitch and sam need 50000 in order to bribe a doctor to give their father a heart transplant before other more needy patients  realizing they are very good at revenge plots  they open a revenge for hire business  eventually running afoul of a rich businessman played by christopher macdonald  who after roles in  happy gilmore  and  veronicas closet  seems typcast in this role   who sends them to destroy a building that mitch learns is the home of his girlfriends grandmother  thus leading them to plot against the rich businessman on the night of the grand opening of a new opera house  first the critic in me  the plot is the standard poor guy vs evil rich guy device  where the main character meets the girl of his dreams along the way  heres the catch  none of the characters are sympathetic  theyre all selfish jerks who dont care who they hurt in their attempts to do whatever they want  the jokes are juvenile  crude  appealing to the worst elements in people  theres jokes about prostitutes  the homeless  beastiality  anal sex  theres even a subplot thats developed  it seems  only to make jokes about infidelity and incest  and i loved watching it  i was a huge fan of norm macdonalds sarcastic  tothepoint comedy on saturday night live  and this movie is an hour and a half of it  norm macdonald takes a joke  strips it to the core  and tells it like it is with a dry wit  like the scene were he and his friend are learning the ropes at a new construction job  the foreman goes over the basics  which mitch and sam dont understand  how do they get out of it  by admiting they lied on their resumes  and dont know a thing about construction  and surprise  they get fired  the characters are incredibly meanspirited  theres a father whos loud and obnoxious  a gambling addicted doctor played by chevy chase who tells sam of his fathers condition by saying  if i were a gambling man id put a lot of money on death   the businessman cole who always has his dog spunky  and does who knows what with it  and then theres mitch and sam  who  thinking they can get 50000 by destroying a building  ponder how their actions would ruin the lives of the residents   too bad we have to do it   mitch says  heres a movie where every joke that is executed as it is set up  where you see every punchline coming  where every spot profanity could be used and then is used  at least the film is honest  and makes no mistake that it is anything more than idiotic  but at least it isnt dull  and it isnt predictable  and thats the way it should be  its sketch comedy  and if youre a fan of norm macdonald  youll love it  the jokes are crude  the characters are mean to the core  the attitude of the movie is that it just doesnt care  if you dont like norm macdonald  or stupid movies  then you probably wont like this one  the jokes are crude  the characters are mean to the core  the attitude of the movie is that it just doesnt care  so before seeing this one  tune your mindset  and prepare for a slew of norm macdonald humor  gay animal sex  prison rape jokes  uncaring characters  and one last performance from chris farley  the critic in me says    but i give it an 8       i just couldnt stop laughing  
neg	the new austin powers film continues a movie tradition begun in the eighties  produce something  anything  that will get the high school and junior high kids in the theater because they buy more soda and popcorn than senior citizens  the usual hallmarks of this filmmaking tradition are all here  gross humor  sex jokes  silly sight gags  more sex jokes  and the film is a strong contender in the current race to be cruder  grosser and more outrageous than that last film  what the film is not  however  is funny  the plot centers around the return of dr  evil  who goes back in time to steal austin powers mojo  a liquid with red stuff in it extracted from austins pelvis  which gives austin his sexual prowess and the charisma to defeat his enemies  austin must go after him  and returns to the swinging sixties where free love and sexy secret agents had their heyday  i almost avoided this film because i did not like the original  but the films premise sounded like an excellent comic vehicle and the film received many good reviews  i wish i had stuck to my first impression  myers is trying to be the jerry lewis of this generation  and he has the talent to do it  at least as an actor  but the material he is working with here  much of it his own  falls short of anything resembling comic genius  this movie tries to carry the day with sight gags about drinking distilled feces  a fivehundredpound fat mans butt crack  and a barrage of sex jokes aimed at the level of the average 15 year old  after some of these scenes  one has to wonder how gross the next generation of films will have to go to get an audiences attention  the direction also helps the film achieve a new low point in cinematic humor  for the most part  i felt as if i was watching a saturday morning chalderns live action tv show  there is no sense of comic timing or subtlety  the director just throws the material at us  giving us nothing except the hope that anyone with a camera could be a film director  i am sure the film will have appeal to many of the under 22 crowd  at least the ones who have yet to discover literacy  certainly the movie is directed towards the generation that prefers everything described as in your face  kick you in the teeth  take no prisoners   actionverb blah blah blah    if you see the film and you find youre not laughing  there is nothing wrong with you  it just means you grew up since seventh grade  
neg	to sum the entire film  54  up in one sentence  it would be  watch a vh1 documentary instead   54   seems like someone brought william faulkner into 1978  brought him into studio 54  got him really drunk  told him to write about it  and then dumbed that down to be released to the public  a sloppy version of almost stream of conciousness spirals down into an oblivion of the illusion of sex  drugs  and disco  the narrator  shane oshae  ryan phillippe   works as a grease monkey in new jersey who  of course  on a whim decides to go into new york and try to get into studio  54   phillippe gives a passable performance which could have been made by any young  attractive actor with a six pack stomach  he is let in by steve rubbell  mike myers   the infamous coowner of studio 54  because he is attractive  he eventually becomes a bus boy and then a bartender    you expected more  didnt you  there isnt  the film builds up from nothing and becomes nothing as its climax  isnt that an apt word for studio 54  lands with a thud  the glitz of the club and perpetually semiclothed patrons are used in an to attempt to show the its glamour  for much of its target audience  college age to early thirties  it attempts to show celebrities mixing with  normal people   this even fails since the only two celebs truly introduced are andy warhol and truman capote  you can be sure that half of the audience hasnt heard of them  another quarter only know their names  and the other quarter knew they were there already  the humor  if you can call it that  is built on an eighty year old woman getting high and 70s references like john travolta and olivia newton john making us laugh at how stupid we were back then the best performance in the film is given by mike myers as the perpetually high  sexually ambivlaent  very new york steve rubell  he seems to play rubell better than rubell would if he was still alive  he looks like rubell and sounds just like him while giving a subdued  almost nostalgic performance  when needed  it reminds you of his saturday night live character linda richmond on  coffee talk  sans dress and wig  the supporting cast of salma hayek  breckin meyer  and neve cambell are their only there to give added subplots which are introduced but lead absolutely nowhere  the romance between phillippe and cambell  as a soap opera star  is completely implausable  the two share about half as much screen time as there are shots of the eighty year old hooked on amphetimenes  hayeks wannabe singer seems extremely forced and her husband  greg  meyer  stands in as shane oshaes surrogate best friend  the subplots seemed forced and seem like they have been added just to make sure the film was over an hour and a half long  overall   54  tried to give a view of the brashness of the place where crack flowed like heroin which flowed like wine  the film never leads to anything  has no obserable point  and covers up a lack of real plot with a veil of beautiful people  in truth  that reminded me of the eighies  
neg	you know  i never really wondered what the tarzan films would have been like had tarzan been an old man  while watching instinct  i couldnt help but acknowledge the way the film carelessly rehashes the wellexplored themes of those earlier movies  even beside the tarzan comparison  instinct just isnt a very good film  its painfully idealistic  manipulative  and silly  i didnt hate it  its simply impossible for me to hate any film starring anthony hopkins  furthermore  most of the acting is quite good  but i can recognize instinct for what it is beyond my subjective admiration for the actors involved  i can also recognize reasons for wanting to make instinct  and its pretty clear that this could have been a good film with a massive script overhaul and a director less interested in imitating movies like patch adams  things start off in the predictable way  as director jon turtletaub introduces us to our hero  theo caulder  cuba gooding  jr    an ambitious  young psychiatrist under the supervision of an experienced  old psychiatrist  donald sutherland   caulder soon finds himself involved in the case of his life  the one he thinks will make him famous  the subject is ethan powell  hopkins   an anthropologist who has been living among gorillas in africa for the past two years  powell has been charged with the brutal murders of several men in africa  and its now caulders job to find out of hes mentally competent enough to stand trial  through a series of short sessions  caulder tries to put together the complex psyche of powell  even though it really is an old man version of tarzan  much of this central idea is rather interesting  as i said  hopkins is captivating for every second hes on screen  he has a way of convincing us that hes not acting  that hes actually a man who has just spent two years of his life living with a family of wild gorillas  the character himself isnt very interesting  hes just an anthropologist who really likes gorillas  but hopkins makes him interesting with subtleties both in speech and action  gooding jr  does strong work opposite hopkins  playing caulder as an intelligent and flawed individual  the screenplay  written by gerald di pego and  suggested by  a novel by daniel quinn  gives us no background information on caulder  but that seems to be the point  he has no time for friends because hes obsessed with his work   nonetheless  these two actors are essentially the entire list of things that are good about instinct  unfortunately  filmmaking this inept can mangle the effect of even the best acting  turtletaub and di pego are both guilty of instincts artistic failure  for they work together to make the dumbest  most clicheridden environment in which their characters are to live  and they do so by means of brainless subplots  first  we have the prison warden subplot  the prison warden is evil and wants to stop caulders progress at any cost  if this means taking caulder off the powell case  then thats fine  theres also the prison guard subplot  the prison guard is played by john ashton  the prison guard seems to enjoy mercilessly beating upon the psychotics under his supervision  and hes instrumental in helping the story along to its obvious conclusion  then theres the daughter subplot  in which maura tierney  playing the daughter  must look very upset a lot of the time  after all  she is the daughter of a deranged man  if some of this stuff sounds familiar  thats because theyre all devices that have been used and reused in countless other films  the evil doctor in patch adams is not unlike the evil warden here  the offensive caricatures of mental patients lack the depth that the similar portrayals in one flew over the cuckoos nest had  ashtons evil prison guard pales in comparison to clancy browns in the shawshank redemption  hopkins performance will undoubtedly remind audiences of his turn in the silence of the lambs  and then theres the whole tarzan thing  which is more than a little bit obvious through the entire film  perhaps what irritates me most about instinct is the halfhearted attempt at philosophical depth  the message powell brings back from the wild is not a subtle one  he thinks that humans are  takers   that they expand and kill and that we should all just live like gorillas  i can sympathize with that  but only when its in a compelling film  this is the kind of stupid movie  just like patch adams  in which a big group of characters  psychotic inmates  in this case  rise against the evil forces oppressing them by tearing up playing cards  what does any of this have to do with a man who has just spent two years of his life with gorillas  if all the subplots of instinct had been left on the cutting room floor  we would have had a thirtyminute movie far superior to the twohour one that i watched today  if the central idea had been developed beyond the old man tarzan premise  then we would really have had something interesting  a movie that doesnt rely on the strength of its actors  
neg	in the finale of disneys  mighty joe young   a 15foot tall  2000pound gorilla holds a frightened young boy in its clutches as it topples from a crippled ferris wheel and plummets to the ground  upon impact  rugged everyman and perennial dogooder bill paxton rushes in  containing the emotional crowd with an earnest  move along now folks  theres nothing to see here   ok  so those arent exactly the words he uses  but its probably one of the few clich  s not uttered in this unnecessary remake of an unnecessary remake of that mother of all monster movies   king kong   1949s  mighty joe young  was an update of that classic creature feature  also based on merian c  coopers original story  16 years after  kong  it appeared the world was ready for a new take on the beauty and the beast fable   now some 49 years later  at least according to disneys way of thinking  the world is ready for one more  not so  the onlyand i mean onlyreason to see the 1998 version is for the special effects  and these  unfortunately  run hot and cold  todays joe young is designed and produced by specialeffects whiz rick baker  who has been wowing audiences with his stateoftheart makeup effects since 1971s  schlock   which  incidentally  featured a bakerenhanced  gorilla    joe is a combination of animatronic effects  computer graphics  and that old standard  a man in a monkey suit  while there are occasional flashes of brilliancebakers had a lot of practice with simian effects  after all  including  gorillas in the mist    greystoke  the legend of tarzan  lord of the apes   and the 1976 remake of  king kong  theres also some surprising cheesiness  one of the films most embarrassing moments is when paxtons band of african trackers first encounter and pursue the largerthanlife primate  in a scene unashamedly ripped off from  the lost world  jurassic park    paxton jubilantly extols the beasts majestic gait at the same exact moment as joe  and the computer effects driving him  stutter to a halt  also  if the films producers had wanted us to focus our attentions on the titular ape they shouldnt have paraded female lead charlize theron   trial  error   around in a seeminglyendless wardrobe of spaghettistrapped tops  even joe seems distracted at times  the film piles on the clich  s like theres no tomorrow  including the predictable plot  anthrozoologists ship gigantic gorilla to l  a  where urban havoc is inevitably wrought   predictable villain  a lithuanian i think i overheard someplace   predictable love story  bill and charlizesurprise    and predictable denouement   twas boxoffice receipts that killed the beast    kids raised on  men in black   nonmonkey effects also by baker  are going to find ron   tremors   underwoods outing a little lame by comparison  while certainly better than 1978s  king kong lives   itself a lousy sequel to a not particularly good remake    mighty joe young  proves how the mighty keep falling  
neg	an attempt at florida film noir  palmetto fails at the most fundamental levels  its slow moving  uninvolving  and plain just uninteresting  harry barber  woody harrelson  is an exnewspaper man  just out of jail after being framed for a crime  his luck hasnt been the best  but things are looking up when a mysterious woman  rhea malroux  elisabeth shue   approaches him with a proposition  she wants harry to help her and her stepdaughter  odette  chloe sevigny   pull off a fake kidnapping scheme to get 500  000 out of her stingy  but rich  husband felix  rolf hoppe   at first  all harry is expected to do is provide a threatening voice on the phone  and to collect the money  of which he gets to keep 10   but  as the deed is carried out  things are not what they seem  and harry gets caught in the ensuing storm  palmetto pulls out all the stops to achieve a film noir film  but the effect never quite comes together  its got the sultry florida heat  seductive women  and even curvier plot twists  but the whole thing smells of paintbynumbers  sure  the right ingredients are there  but the end result is much too artificial  a lot of the problems lie with the script  which  though providing some genuine surprises  is packed full of leaden dialogue and bland situations  even the plot twists dont seem to flow well with the rest of the story  some of them  for example  come from so far afield that they seemingly only make sense because the writer needed a twist  for example  harrys spontaneous job offer  or the whole typewriter situation   the characters are mostly lifeless  played to type  but not much more  woody harrelson plays harry with such imbecilic thickheadedness that its hard to even picture him as an exjournalist  elisabeth shue vamps it up  but doesnt add anything special to the role  chloe sevigny gives a terrible performance  trying to be a sexy 17year old  but she just leaves a bad taste in your mouth  some of the supporting cast  notably gina gershon and michael rapaport  give stronger  but  in the end  meaningless performances  and to top it off  the pacing of the film is much too slow  as the movie grinds to a halt  youre given too much time to wonder why youre wasting it watching palmetto  if youre in the mood for this type of movie  youd be much better off going out and renting some classic film noir  
neg	this film is worth seeing for those who want to see what mick jagger looks like when sporting an abe lincoln beard  the rock and roller is asked to carry the film as the action antihero of australian legend    ned kelly  the socalled robin hood of the aussies  but he fails to be convincing  in my opinion he is better suited to play gene kelly than ned kelly  the film opens to a bw prologue of ned kelly bravely going to his execution  then it goes to technicolor and ned is seen in what goes for flashback  coming home from jail after a 3year sentence to see his mom and reacquaint himself with the large kelly family  this scene is set in 1871  in the background we hear the booming voice of waylon jennings  as he sings shel silversteins lyrics  which tells  of neds hatred for the british rule and hope for ireland to be a republic  ned says a debt must be paid    as he hears voices from his dead father  his classdivided country  and his conscience  all telling him to get revenge  so begins neds romp through australias outback  seeking justice for all the wrongs his people have suffered  he begins by stealing horses  after complaining about the unfair tax law on horses that stray  which favors the rich landowners  when hes only 20 he forms a gang  causing him to hide the rest of his life from the police  who put a price on his head of two thousand pounds  when neds mother  clarissa kaye  is jailed on a false charge of abetting criminals and sentenced to 35 years  ned offers to surrender in exchange for his mothers freedom  when the authorities refuse  the kelly brothers go on a robbing rampage  burning mortgages of the poor found in postal vaults and murdering some soldiers  rampaging through the outback  they gather sympathy among the poor and lower classes  who dont trust the traps  police   spoiler to follow in the next paragraph  in the climax  kelly and his gang plan to ambush a train with british police  but someone kelly trusted tips the police on the train and kelly is trapped in a saloon and captured  neds brothers commit suicide rather than be taken alive  but kellys gang escapes  as ned heroically has the police go after only him and his brothers  as they become decoys  this was a flat presentation  hardly touching an emotional button on what all the fuss was about over ned kellys call for justice  jagger didnt have a prayer in succeeding in this dry script offered by ian jones and tony richardson  the story failed to focus on australia  seemingly a more british film than australian  under richardsons lackluster direction  all jagger seemed to do  was proclaim his innocence and vow revenge  which soon became a shrill cry  if you want to see a better film about ned kelly  catch  mad dog morgan   76   a much truer and more daring version  with dennis hopper giving a much better characterization of ned kellys madness  something this film could only do in a hohum manner  
neg	i think we should  as responsible citizens  all get together and stop jim carrey from making another movie  hes changing the cinema as we know itand for the worst  i would willingly rewatch batman and robin rather then again sit through this miserable collection of filmic momentsprologues  epilogues  etc  the premise  a lawyer cant lie for a day  ho  ho  normally a movie made from this premise would be terriblemr  carrey suceeds in making it unwatchable  i laughed onceand i was laughing at the sight of everyone else laughing  grinding doesnt begin to describe  it pounds on your head so forcefully and so unstoppably that  if you are a normal person  you leave feeling sick  when its not trying to be funny  its trying to be melodramaticbut its just annoying  stupid and sappy  at best  this movie is intended to make people laugh  yes  not to be voted best picture of all time by sight and sound  but  it fails on every possible level  it fails to be funny  it fails to be insightful  it fails to be suspensful  it fails to be fun  they should pay people to see it  it suceeds on one levelit makes me want to get down on the ground and start thanking orson welles  for having lived  if you go in with the intention of coming out alive  please make sure that you are overly fond of boob  fart  pimple and fat jokesotherwise you will go insane  yes  literally insane  stark  raving mad  it is boring  stupid  melodramatic and in the end ugly  i reccemond it strongly  to ed wood  
neg	the best thing  in fact  the only good thing  i can say about dark city is that it made me want to go see l  a  confidential again  or go rent body heat  to see william hurt do some real noir  or even  god help me  palmetto  alex proyass new movie screams atmosphere  i screamed  too   get me out of this theater   new line cinema spent millions of dollars creating the expressionistic film noir visuals and paying the actors  and doesnt have any way to get it back  i paid 4  25 for a matinee screening and dont have any way to get my money back  either  youll hear a lot from other critics about the look and feel of this movie  i will admit that the cinematographers and costume designers and set artists and cgi graphics geeks all worked hard to create a stunning  nightmarish future world where its always a late night in 1948  complete with rotary phones and automats and fedoras  ive got news for you fellows  i dont care how hard you worked  or how visually stunning this movie looks  you wasted your time and mine  working on a movie without a plot  without a clear sense of direction of where it wanted to go  without a soul or a reason to care  the movie starts out ohsopromising  john murdoch  rufus sewell  is lying in a bathtub in the sort of seedy hotel that in real life  would have been boarded up long ago  there is a dead  mutilated prostitute in the other room  a surprise  as he has lost his memory  the phone rings  its a sinistersounding man  claiming to be his doctor  telling him to flee for his life  all well and good  right  wrong  apparently  someone decided that the audience was just a bit too dim to figure out the intricacies of the plot   this is getting to be a popular assumption in hollywood   so  the actual beginning of the movie is not sewell running for his life  rather  its a voiceover narration by the aforementioned doctor  keifer sutherland  explaining exactly what is going on and who is responsible  its as though sam the piano player had told us that rick and ilsa had been getting it on in paris in the first three minutes of casablanca  no  wait  thats not fair to casablanca  its more like watching a new plotline at the first of the show  or if you want to know how i really feel  having an offscreen narrator explain that gilligan wont be getting off the island in this episode  from here  the coherence of the plot goes down faster than  insert monica lewinsky joke here   the characters just wander around the city aimlessly and bump into each other for no apparent reason  and thats what moves the plot  what were left with is a string of unanswered questions that dont make any sense  were given aliens with unlimited omnipotent powers  yet they forget to use them at critical moments and get themselves killed  were given a hero who can  tune  into these same powers  yet he only uses them when its convenient to the plot  were given a whole long list of loose ends that go nowhere usually  critics will say that an actor playing an underwritten part  isnt given much to do   in this movie  no one is given anything to do  sewell is given the impossible role of a man who doesnt remember anything  and plays it like    um    a man who doesnt remember anything  the aliens are tall  pastyfaced  and bald  and wear long black cloaks and fedoras to remind us that theyre evil  and theres a child alien as well  straight out of an anne rice novel  sutherland is saddled with a limp  a twitchy eye  and a breathy accent to remind us that hes in league with the aliens  to its credit  dark city boasts two impressive bits of casting  william hurt is perfectly cast as the worldweary inspector charged with catching the man who is murdering prostitutes all over the city  jennifer connelly  playing sewells love interest  is given two alltoobrief moments on screen as a lounge singer  and turns in the sexiest performace this side of jessica rabbit  but instead of the dogged policeman and the femme fatale given central treatment in the script  the way they would be in any selfrespecting noir movie  theyre almost tangiential to the plot  such as it is  the problem with dark city is this  its a bad science fiction movie pretending to be film noir  the essence of film noir isnt  as proyas seems to beleive  breathy dialogue or snapbrim fedoras or tall  bald evil villains who would make peter lorre curl up in a corner  dark city has not one bit of intrigue  moral ambiguity  suspense  or anything else that keeps us coming back to the noir classics  dark city is like the intricately carved door that kate winslet floats on in titanic  its an exceptionlly wellmade and intricately designed piece of flotsam  sailing around and around the middle of the ocean  going nowhere  
neg	you always have to be careful with the first official studio release out of the gate each year  theyre obviously films for which the studios have no great hopes  having missed both the deadline for academy award eligibility and the big boxoffice holiday season   combine that with howie longs first starring action role  and youve got a doozy of a movie that  while not as bad as it could have been  isnt a very good film  howie stars as an ace smokejumper  a firefighter who parachutes into forest fires unreachable from the ground   in the slightly contrived opening scenes  we witness his heroism in action  as he  and his mentor  played by scott glenn  attempt to rescue a small girl and her dog from an oncoming forest fire  william forsythe plays the bad guy  a mass murderer who has several million dollars tucked away to help fund his jailbreak  he  and five convict cohorts  manages to get selected for firefighting duty when a woodland blaze just happens to ignite nearby  his escape plan bets a lot on the laxity of the guards  but  since there must be a movie  luck is with him  soon the nowescaped convicts are masquerading as canadian firefighters  why canadian  who knows  eh  along the way they pick up a pretty birdwatcher  suzy amis  to be their hostage  enter howie long  hes called in to help fight the blaze  and when he spots the group of  ground pounders   apparently lost  he parachutes in to help  when he discovers their true identity  he is the only thing standing between them and escape  and the only hope of help for the hostage  longs acting talents are above those of  say  steven seagal  but not by much  although his delivery is mostly flat and wooden  hes a likeable hero  and there are some hints here and there that he may get better  the script doesnt help him out any  however  all too often  it veers into the realm of the unintentionally funny  the dialogue is strictly bmovie material  and the plotting relies too heavily on coincidences to be believable  longs costars are a mixed bag  at least theyre all comfortable in their respective roles  forsythe has the scenerychewing villain down cold  down cold  and scott glenn is always enjoyable to watch  even when he doesnt seem to be stretching his talents  as is definitely the case here   suzy amis plays peril pretty well  but isnt given much more to do  some of the nature and wildfire shots are interesting  but many are rather bland  youd think that the director  dean semler  a former cinematographer  would at least produce a film with interesting visuals  thats not the case  theres a lack of originality to nearly all the sequences    weve seen this stuff before  its not the most auspicious start to 1998  but it could have been worse  just think back to 1996s debut  biodome   however  after a month of oscarcaliber pictures  a movie like firestorm at least gives you some perspective on how good those movies really were  in fact  theres a good chance that some of them are still playing near you    
neg	synopsis  easilyangered  chainsmoking architect david encounters his homicidal first wife diedre five years after their divorce  diedre easily cons davids notsobright new wife molly into believing shes a child psychologist so that she can influence molly and davids quicktempered son  michael  diedre  at the same time  murders a bunch of people  comments  the ex is a very bad movie  i havent seen a turkey of this magnitude in quite a while  i kept vacillating  however  between giving the ex one star for its sheer awfulness and three stars for its campy humor  ultimately  i decided to split the difference and give it two stars   as summarized briefly in the synopsis  this is yet another spurnedpsycholovergetsherrevenge type movie  im not sure how many films have been produced since fatal attraction which use this tired storyline  but it seems like 10  000  000  000  the ex  however  though following many of the standard cliches of this thriller subgenre  differs slightly from the norm in that  at least  it doesnt take itself too seriously like so many other duds do  malicious and stalked are two examples which come to mind   those involved in the movie realize theyre in a turkey  apparently  and turn in hammy performances which compliment the ludicrous dialogue contained within the script  the exs storyline  as i said  incorporates many cliches predominant in films of its nature  however  the plot is so overwrought and unbelievable that  after a while  the viewer must accept that logic does not operate in the realm of the movie  diedre  davids first wife  kills and kills and kills  for example  without ever having to worry about police investigations and the like  its not as though shes bright enough not to leave fingerprints at the scene of the crime   david and his new wife molly have an incredibly difficult time understanding why michael  their son  has emotional problems  specifically his inability to control his anger  though david smokes like tomorrow will never come and blows up at people every other minute in the movie  the connection between him and his son is not made  molly is easily swayed by diedre into believing shes a child psychologist and allows the demented woman to spend time with her son  time and time again  things do not add up in this movie  if a viewer cant accept this fact  then he will definately not like the ex  if  on the other hand  he can appreciate the movie for its campiness  then hell probably like it much better  i dont mean to necessarily suggest  however  that the ex is a memorable exercise in camp  even when viewed from an itssobaditsgood angle  this movie isnt all that successful  the ex does have its moments  though  almost all of which involve yancy butler  the psychotic diedre  and nick mancuso  david   these two actors turn in decidedly hammy performances which  oftentimes  elicit chuckles from the audience  the truly awful lines written for them help this humor along  butler gets the larger portion of bad dialogue  every time her character kills someone  she has a punchline thats unbelievably inane  when she murders a tenant of an apartment she wishes to use to spy on david  for example  diedre whacks the elderly lady with a crowbar and states  im so sorry  your lease is terminated   or how about when diedre takes out her therapist in another ridiculous scene   diedres therapist wishes to have her recommitted  so she decides to visit diedre  alone  in her new apartment  never realizing  of course  that its not hers  therapists typically are catatonically braindead in these movies   having successfully snuffed the woman out  diedre looks at the body and says   what was it that you always said to me at the end of each session  dr  jones  oh  thats right  im sorry  but your time is up    this is what passes for humor in the film  the audience doesnt necessarily laugh but groan  the type of groan that suggests the audience cant believe theyre watching this crap  although watching it they are   nick mancusos chainsmoking  nervouswreck character does not have the cheesy lines that butlers character delivers  but his ridiculously overdone performance provides for some better comic relief  in between drags off his cigarette  for instance  in one of the movies best scenes  david tries to explain to his lawyer what a creep his exwife is  in exaggerated exasperation  he nearly shouts  the woman is a cuckoobird    trust me  it is funny in context   and so  the movie continues until its painfully obvious conclusion  i wont reveal the ending specifically  though anyone remotely familiar with thrillers of this type could probably guess the ending just from this film review   but i will say that the ex has one of the biggest fire hazards appearing recently in film  molly and david own a cabin that becomes engulfed by flames in approximately three seconds  molly  at one point in the film  notsobrilliantly observes  after discovering diedre has moved into an apartment across from her familys to spy upon them  that  shes crazy   youd be pretty crazy too if youd rented this turkey  id avoid it unless its on tv and you come across it  if you do  you may want to watch it  groan at the bad punchlines and stupid plot  and feel good that you didnt spend money renting it  
neg	the blues brothers was a wonderful film  a hilarious comedy packed with good music  it cried out for a sequel  but john belushis untimely death seemed to eliminate the idea  however  eighteen years have passed  and the long dormant sequel has finally emerged  unfortunately  its a sequel not worthy of the original  the film starts exactly eighteen years after the first one ended  elwood blues  dan aykroyd  is just getting out of jail  his brother jake having recently died  as in the first film  he first visits mother mary stigmata  kathleen freeman  and then sets about getting the band back together  john belushis absence leaves a terrible hole in the film  and although three new characters are created to fill the void  it is still very noticeable  first  theres cabel  joe morton  the illegitimate son of elwoods stepfather  played by cab calloway in the first movie   cabel is reluctant to join his destiny  and spends most of the movie as an illinois sheriff  chasing the blues brothers band  next  theres mighty mack  john goodman   a bartender who becomes the new lead singer of the band  finally  theres buster  j  evan bonifant   a ten year old orphan who tags along with elwood and eventually joins the band  the plotting of the film is hardly original    it seems to be almost a clone of the original  elwood has to go to reluctantly retrieve each member of the band  they then travel  while being pursued by the police  and perform at several odd stops until they finally reach the big concert finale  the first film had neonazis as the random element  this time around  the russian mafia and a militia group fill their role  in fact  the duplication of the plot is so ridiculously complete that certain scenes are practically identical to the original  remember the classic performance at country bobs  where they like both types of music  country and western  from the first movie  well  this movie has a performance at a country fair  where the band is expected to play bluegrass music  theres the massive police car pileup  although this time the gag falls completely flat  theres even an exact replica of the conversion scene in the church of reverend cleophus  james brown   there are plenty of recurring characters too  in addition to mother stigmata and reverend cleophus  aretha franklin reprises her role as mrs  murphy  frank oz  a prison guard in the first film  makes an appearance here as the prison warden  as the stars  the new blues brothers dont live up to their legacy  aykroyd is more loquacious  yet much flatter as elwood  john goodman barely has a character as mighty mack  joe morton has the deepest character  but not a terribly interesting one  as cab  and whats the deal with the orphan  it plays like a desperate gimmick that doesnt mesh at all with the rest of the film  at least bonifant isnt as precocious as he could have been in the role  but the true star  and the only saving grace  of the film is the music  and the film is packed with it  even during and after the ending credits   although there are no brilliant mergers of comedy and song as in the originals rawhidestand by your man medley  the music is very much enjoyable  to top it off  the film is packed to the gills with cameo musician appearances  b  b  king  blues traveler  eric clapton  travis tritt  wilson pickett  erykah badu  bo diddley and steve winwood are just a sampling of the multitude of stars that make an appearance here and there  unfortunately  the music pauses here and there to allow in the familiar plot  if simply copying the original blues brothers wasnt bad enough  writers aykroyd and john landis dumb it down  removing any memorable characters  and replacing them with flashy  but unbelievable  magical gimmicks  its a shame  buy the soundtrack and avoid the film  better yet  rewatch the original    youll have a much better time  
neg	michael crichton has had a long career of writing novels  many of which are science fiction  the most profitable film adaptation of any novel was an adaptation of a michael crichton science fiction novel  so in the logic of the film industry a good way to make a profitable film would be to make a bigbudget adaptation of another crichton science fiction novel  congo failed  and i am afraid that sphere is probably not going to fare a whole lot better  it a little better than just okay novel and it makes a film that is not even that good  the film is expensive  over one hundred million dollars  is long  133 minutes  has a terrific cast  including dustin hoffman  samuel l  jackson  and sharon stone  but has little that is really original and less that is exciting  several years ago dr  norman goodman  played by dustin hoffman  was asked to write up a set of procedures for the government to follow if an alien entity was actually encountered  the plan he wrote was only semiserious  but did explicitly define a team of experts who should investigate the alien  now that team has been assembled by a mysterious team leader named barnes  peter coyote  to study a spacecraft almost a half mile in length that apparently dropped into the pacific ocean in the early 1700s  suddenly normans less than serious procedure has become an action plan for dealing with a real alien spacecraft  included in the team to investigate are mathematician harry adams  samuel l  jackson   biologist beth halperin  sharon stone   and astrophysicist ted fielding  liev schreiber   together they travel to the deep pacific spaceship to understand its secrets  one major secret is the meaning of the huge sphere of goldtoned liquid metal at the heart of this spaceship  what is disappointing about this film is that it does not have really effective performances  director barry levinson is at his best with good actors rather than good special effects  the problem here is he is making a bigbudget science fiction film  it has some effects  but the most intriguing effect he shows only as an outline on a radar screen  the technique is to suggest rather than to show and let the actors and the viewers imagination carry the film as robert wise did with the haunting  that could be a reasonable approach in a lowbudget film  but that requires creating much more atmosphere than levinson can manage to muster  it requires the actors to give really compelling performances and simply put  they dont  hoffmans acting seems muted  jackson seems to laid back  we do not feel for these characters and do not get inside their heads  levinson paid big bucks for his actors and does not really get price performance  and why we have queen latifah as a minor functionary on the expedition is anybodys guess  a cast of unknowns could have delivered as much emotional impact at a fraction of the price  look how much more powerful a film like alien was with only moderate actors  most science fiction spectaculars these days have secondtier actors and firsttier special effects  levinson tries secondtier effects  and firsttier actors  but never makes that exchange pay off for the viewer  perhaps scifi spectaculars are just not an actors medium  the result gets a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	american pie 2 is filled with laughs  but they are mostly cheap ones built primarily upon sexual degradation and adolescent humor more fit for a locker room than a movie theater  im no prude and i admit to laughing along with everyone else at the preview screening to this sequel to the 1999 hit comedy  but the laughs are built on discomfort and embarrassment  not on any intrinsic humor from within the story itself  what separates american pie 2 from its predecessor is heart  of the original  i noted it was  a warm  pleasant outing about the travails of growing up   well  the quartet of chums  jim  jason biggs   oz  chris klein   kevin  thomas ian nicholas  and finch  eddie kaye thomas   have grown up  at least they are a year older  but dont seem any wiser  fresh from their first year of college the quartet  along with the obnoxious stifler  seann william scott   rent a summer house by the lake in order to attract girls in an attempt to score  as usual nothing goes right until the last reel  but what we are left with is five guys spending nearly two hours drooling over various young women  and american pie 2 is rather degrading to women  for the most part  they are not shown as individuals  they are nothing more than potential recipients of overactive  raging hormones  it is telling that the most normal couple  oz and heather  mena suvari  spend the bulk of the film trying to have phone sex  shes overseas on an exchange student program  despite having been to college  jim is still klutzy and awkward  unsure of himself around the opposite sex  most of the pratfalls and humiliations are heaped upon him  including a painful episode involving an instant gluelike substance  also uncomfortable to watch is a sequence involving three of the lads with two young women roommates  whom the boys suspect of being lesbians  it is offensive and plays upon outdated  adolescent stereotypes to generate laughs  the first film  despite some raunchy moments  had an innocent charm to it  the sequel is more cynical  it knows what its predominantly male audience members want and unabashedly gives it to them  the many mentions of finchs encounter with stiflers mom becomes a tiresome running gag throughout as does eugene levys return as jims wellmeaning  tryingtobehip dad  the only performer who is actually given some new  fresh material is alyson hannigan as michelle  the band geek from the original  in the sequel  she imbues her character with vulnerability  wisdom and maturity  american pie 2 is a presold commodity that will earn several million at the box office  it is a shame  though  that in its rush to rake in some bucks screenwriter adam herz  who also penned the original  could not have set his sights higher  american pie 2 is funny  but its still a comedown as well as a letdown  
neg	well  what are you going to expect  its a movie about a big snake that eats people  thats what i should have been thinking when i viewed this film  because maybe then i would have enjoyed myself more  instead  i ended up wishing a giant snake would come along and eat me  too  anaconda is about a documentary film crew sailing down a south american river  led by anthropologists dr  steven cale  eric stolz  and terri flores  jennifer lopez   the crew is attempting to locate a lost tribe of natives  along the way  they find poacher paul sarone  jon voight   and become unwillingly embroiled in his quest to capture the elusive anaconda  to simply say that this is the worlds largest snake wouldnt be doing it justice  since the anaconda in this movie is at least two feet wide  if this isnt a good reason to avoid picking up hitchhikers  i dont know what is  at the beginning of anaconda  we find that flores and cale have had some kind of relationship in the past  but that seems to be more or less over now  i expected that fact to play a key part somewhere down the line  but it ended up being a setup for nothing  cale chokes on a deadly wasp  dont ask me how that happens  i dont know  and is put out of action  relegated to being the person whom the rest of the film crew must get back to civilization for medical help  this minimally helps to add a sense of urgency for the plot  since this goal now comes in direct conflict with sarones plan to capture the snake  however  this is negated by the fact that cale seems to get better by himself about halfway through the film  and in any event still results in zero payoff from the relationship angle  most bad characters are either annoying or stupid  in this movie  theyre both  since this description applies to all the characters except sarone  its hard to find someone to root for  youre supposed to back the good guys  but you really end up cheering for sarone because hes smarter than everyone else  or maybe hes just not as dumb as everyone else  at times  i almost found myself rooting for the snake  there are no standout performances here  everyone seems to be reciting lines written for stock characters  even voight appears to be doing his best impression of christopher walken for some reason  no matter  as in most monster movies  the snake is supposed to be the real star anyway  in most of the scenes  the snake is computer generated  and the effects crew did a decent job of making it look real  however  the realism is thrown off by some pretty unrealistic occurrences  sometimes  for example  the snake just moves too fast  it catches a guy jumping off of a waterfall  for crying out loud  then theres another scene where the snake eats one of the characters  and we see the snakes skin drawn so tightly over its prey that we can see the victims pained expression from within the snakes belly  absolutely ridiculous  a testimony to the films bad direction is the inclusion of a scene early on the in the film  where we get to see just how dangerous the mighty anaconda is  in a scene totally unrelated to anything else  we are witness to the big snake winning a showdown with a panther  the anaconda wraps itself around the powerful feline as if it were a stuffed animal and squeezes it so hard  one of the panthers eyeballs pops out  eeeewwwww  above and beyond the sick factor  however  this scene surprised me because it actually showed the face of the snake before a quarter of the movie had even passed  in films like these  a sense of mystery surrounding the monster must be maintained  if the characters are reacting to something they fear more than see  we as an audience must experience that feeling along with them  to show us the monster early on is to let us in on something the characters dont know about  and therefore allow us to get used to the danger before the pivotal moment when man and beast have their climactic showdown  in a case like that  the showdown just ends up being a letdown  when i saw the snake for the first time  i decided to give the film the benefit of the doubt and assume that the snake i saw wasnt the real danger  this one was just a decoy  and there was actually a bigger snake waiting to make its appearance just when everyone thought they were safe  no such luck  okay  maybe anaconda is actually a decoy  and theres really a better movie waiting to make its debut  
neg	this film is extraordinarily horrendous and im not going to waste any more words on it  
neg	midway through  anaconda   documentary filmmaker terri flores  jennifer lopez  turns to a coworker and says  i thought this movie would be my first big break  instead  its turned into a disaster   truer words have never been spoken   anaconda  is a monster movie with a lousy monster  its a suspense film that is utterly predictable  its a mess the film does manage to drum up some scares  but only in the most elementary way  like a jackinthebox  as you turn the crank  youre totally aware that the damn clown is going to pop up  but somehow its still mildly startling when it happens  the main difference between the giant snake in  anaconda  and the clown in a jackinthebox is that the clown is more realistic   anaconda  boasts some of the worst special effects to appear onscreen in years  animatronic shots of the snake look as phony as any of those cringe inducing robots youve endured at disney world  but its the computer animated scenes that truly expand the meaning of the word lame  in one shot  a character tries to flee from the monster by diving from a tree near a waterfall  but the giant snake springs out and loops around its hapless victim in mid air  the scene  if done well  would have been a jaw dropper  here  the horribly bad digital effects look less convincing than a saturday morning cartoon  whats really amazing is that the filmmakers were so proud of this dreadful shot that they actually included it in the promotional trailers for the movie  but enough about the phony snakes  now its time to talk about the lousy story  heroic and very pale anthropologist eric stoltz leads a documentary film crew down a brazilian river in search of the shirishama indians  a legendary tribe that supposedly lives in the boondocks of the rain forest  stoltz tells his crew  pray that you didnt forget your bug spray   apparently the female crew members bathed in the stuff  because they spend most of the film wearing skimpy tops and short shorts with no ill effect  along the way  the group rescues a whackedout lapsed priest  jon voight  who claims to know how to find the shirishama  within minutes  they throw away all their plans and follow voight down a tributary into the land of creepiness  from that point on  the film is a hodgepodge of scenes and shots ripped off from  jaws  and  dead calm   one of the oddest structural points of the film is the handling of eric stoltz  early in the story  his character gets knocked into a coma by a river insect and spends virtually the rest of the movie unconscious  so why did they hire an actor of the caliber of stoltz for what amounts to a cameo appearance  also  why did stoltz  who generally selects his roles with great care  agree to appear in this crap  ah  the mysteries of hollywood  the remaining crew members are basically just snake food waiting to happen  jonathan hyde is mildly diverting as a pompous englishman hired to narrate the documentary  but lopez and ice cube manage to rise above their cardboard characters  lopez  who starred in  selena   is an enormously appealing performer  possessing a vibrancy that makes even the most trite lines seem credible  ice cube has a special charisma  an ability to look like a macho adult and a frightened boy simultaneously  theres also a special twinkle in his eyes  as if hes gently mocking his own toughguy posturing  but the movie really centers around the outrageously hammy performance of jon voight  obsessed with capturing one of the giant anacondas  voight plays the villain in thick accent  with a series of leers and hisses  spouting the kind of dialogue usually heard only in episodes of  jonny quest   at one point  he looms over the crew and says  the anaconda is the perfect killing machine  it strikes  wraps around you  holds you tighter than your true love  and you get the privilege of hearing your bones break before the power of its embrace causes your veins to explode   that moment is so highcamp that it almost made the film tolerable  almost  fans of the horror genre may be tempted to check out  anaconda   dont  there are a lots of horror films scheduled for release this summer  including another  alien  sequel  wait for them  rent  jaws  in the meantime  and dont throw away your money and time on drivel like this  
neg	if the 70s nostalgia didnt make you feel old  the 80s nostalgia is bound to  one of the latter set   the wedding singer   seems to be written by someone who did not experience the 1980s directly but only read about them in an article in parade magazine  the wacky fashions are here    and the music    and references aplenty to celebrities and signs of the times  but it all seems tediouslyand too obviouslyinserted for the didntwedressfunnybackthen chuckle  the plot is standard romantic comedy with nothing original  robbie  adam sandler  is a wedding singer  julia  drew barrymore  waits tables at weddings  both are engaged  however  robbies fiance  angela featherstone  dumps him at the altar  and julias fiance  matthew glave  is a skirtchasing speculator in junk bonds  robbie and julia go through the expected upsanddowns as they realize they were meant to be together  ill fess upive never found adam sandler funny  whatever his appeal is  ive missed it   other comedians i dont get include pauly shore and pee wee hermanmake your own judgments   the stupidity and artificiality of the whole project is summarized in a cameo by billy idol as himself  idol looks like hell  and the ravages of his lifestyle are barely concealed by thick makeup  hes mocked by a photo of his younger self on a rolling stone cover in the same scene  were not supposed to notice that  and were not supposed to notice how silly it is that billy idol suddenly appears to play fairy godmother to robbie  other cameos  by steve buscemi and jon lovitz  provide the only real laughs in the movie  lovitz is especially good  playing a rival wedding singer plotting with the mania of a bond villain to take advantage of robbies postbreakup depression  
neg	synopsis  nice girl susanne has sex with her boyfriend daniel in his car  visits daniels rich family during thanksgiving at their mansion in the middle of nowhere  and has sex with daniel again in the basement  susanne and daniel must then decide where to hide from evil art thieves who shoot everyone else in the mansion to steal paintings  brace yourself for one of those painfully obvious  surprise endings   comments  thanksgiving  for most  its a time to be with your loved ones and enjoy a good  homecooked meal  for the makers of body count  however  thanksgiving is a time for multiple murders  violence  profanity  family dysfunction  and sex  boy  do i feel all the more better having sat through this crap  alyssa milano  the former child star of whos the boss   matures to madeforvideo sludge like this movie  someone somewhere thought itd be a great idea to pair her with rapper icet  who has since gueststarred in the madeforthescifichannel series welcome to paradox  this isnt exactly a winning combination  outside of permanently ruining a holiday for me  what else may be said for this turkey  well  it teaches us that beautiful  attractive women who look strikingly like alyssa milano fall in love with nerds who drive down long winding roads with their eyes closed and complain about being english teachers  it presents us with a heartwarming thanksgiving dinner attended by alcoholic  stuckup rich white people waited on by black servants  it shows us that old guys  try not to laugh  sit around and talk about  the appeal of postmodernism  during their free time  and  it proves that you can have sex in your parents basement when they have a dozen or so guests over  and no one will notice  before i go any further  if any young male reading this has hopes of seeing alyssa naked  forget it  the filmmakers cleverly shoot the simulated sex scenes in a manner that makes sure you dont see any of milanos attributes  they do  however  inexplicably throw in a scene where icet whistles  jingle bells  after killing people  for whatever thats worth  this film was originally titled below utopia  perhaps they should have renamed it hell  avoid this clunker  
neg	well lets see    im not quite sure how to review this film  based on its laughter factor  well yeah i can  its not funny  ok so i laughed one time which warranted the 12 star  but other than that i sat in my seat wondering when this pos would be over   which at a running time of 107 minutes seemed like forever    in fact  this could be the unfunniest movie ive seen in a long time  if not the unfunniest  let me be the first to say  ready to rumble  is a huge disappointment  long time wrestling lovers  david and scott  dream of making it to the wcw  and watching jimmy king wrestle  that is their hero of course  whom is kicked out of the wcw  well here is where the plot thickens  lol   the two wish to rescue the king  and put him back into the wcw but not that easily  because they are being tampered with by many people who are out to get them  while davids father wants him to become a police officer  and scott is a loser who has to with the help of david clean out johnny on the spots  what a plot eh   ready to rumble  is one of those films that tries to be funny  but sadly fails miserably  everything in the film is imcomprehinsable  and even the trailer wasnt funny  the actors are dull  the script awful  and the plot which there isnt much of     really annoying  im not quite sure how great actors like these  and very funny actors too  are given such a lame script  and directed in such a childish manner  that i wonder if hollywood is ever gonna make good films these days  this review isnt going to be very long because of the fact that there isnt much going for the film  if anything at all  only one big laugh is in the film  which isnt all that hilarious  i sat in my chair wondering with this 107        minute  comedy  was going to be over  and sadly it went on forever  im not sure if anything could have saved this film from being such a total waste  but believe me you  it is  reviewed by brandon herring 42900 for more reviews please visit movie review central at http  www  geocities  commoviefan983moviereviewcentral  html 
neg	14 years ago  national lampoon introduced us to a new family  the griswolds  in 1983  the griswolds embarked on a crosscountry journey with the destination of wally world  a worldrenowned theme park in california  we laughed our heads off as we shared the wild and crazy mishaps the family endured  two years later  we watched again as they went to europe  and four years after that  we shared christmas with them  now  eight more years have passed  and the laughs have done more than die  theyve been cremated  vegas vacation brings back chevy chase as clark griswold  the good intentioned but illfated father of two  the premise is basically the same  clark has a wonderful idea to take his family on a bonding vacation  this time to las vegas  his wife ellen  beverly dangelo  and teenage kids rusty and audrey  always played by different actors  this time around  by ethan embry and marisol nichols  respectively  join him and they soon find themselves in sin city where casinos will make the backdrop for ninety minutes of slapstick  of course a  vacation  movie wouldnt be complete without good ole eddie  reprised by randy quaid   the misfit cousin  showing up at all the wrong times  there isnt too much of a plot here when it comes right down to it  its really just a skit movie  there are a couple of ways to define a skit movie  which is not a real term as far as i know  the first would be a movie that basically has one running gag for two hours  therefore coming off like a two hour skit  the second would be a movie that seems comprised of about twenty shorter skits  each lasting about five minutes  vegas vacation comes off like the first  a good example of the latter would be last years black sheep  the problem with this format is that it becomes old fast  and it doesnt really fit into a movie mold  in these cases  a  plot   which is generally very thin  is used either as a shameless filler between scenes or to simply add convenience to the gags  i  e  have a good vegas joke  make a vegas movie   such is the case with this movies miniplots  clark gets gambling fever and begins spending all of the griswolds money  ellen is on the verge of an affair with wayne newton     rusty has a fake id and is using it to his gambling advantage  and audrey is desperate for fun and winds up joining her cousin vickie  shae dlyn  as an exotic dancer  the simple fact is  this movie isnt funny  at first  i did find myself chuckling heartily at a couple of little jokes  but when the movie got rolling  my interest suddenly stopped  chase plays clark griswold really well  he made the character and he is the character  dangelo  to be quite honest  never was too impressive as ellen  and this movie doesnt show any signs of redemption  as for the two new griswold kids  the word  blah  comes to mind  the  vacation  series seems out to prove that anybody can play these two characters  the simple reason being that there is nothing to them  theyre so generic  youll expect the credits to read  girl 1 as audrey griswold   vegas vacation differs from the first three in the series by more than just laugh factor  yes  its true that vegas vacation isnt even close to being close to being as funny as the others  which were actually pretty fun in their own doofy ways  but there are a couple of other things that set this one negatively apart  first off  why did they leave off the national lampoons heading on the title  i couldnt find any reasons why  but maybe the fact is even national lampoon didnt want to be associated with such a lame film  thats saying a lot  especially when you look at what else the company has proudly presented  loaded weapon 1  pcu  etc  if they expected this to be another hit  you would assume theyd be proud to tack on the notorious header  but for reasons only we can guess at  like the movie sucking  they didnt  there is another difference here that makes an obvious impact  the first three films in the  vacation  series were written by john hughes  a talented writer who is behind several popular films of the 80s including mr  mom  sixteen candles  the breakfast club  weird science  pretty in pink  ferris buellers day off  planes  trains  and automobiles  and uncle buck  wowzers  what a r  sum   looking at the names  youd think this guy wrote everything that now stands as a movie icon for the 1980s  well thats not all  this guy also brought us 90s hits including the home alone series  the remake of 101 dalmatians  dennis the menace  and the current flubber  vegas vacation  however  didnt have john hughes behind it  and the loss is very obvious  this time around  the script is in the hands of elisa bell  whose only credits thus far include four madefortv movies  vegas vacation plays very much like one  and it would actually work much better as a madefortv sequel  if this sounds like a wild idea  its not  revenge of the nerds third and fourth installments were both television movies  and they seemed like it  vegas vacation would fit in well on the fox network as a 2  00 a  m  sunday morning movie  but as a silver screen major motion picture  its quite out of place  stephen kesslers jejune direction doesnt help things either  he only makes the film even more tvmovieish  each consecutive  vacation  movie has suffered a drop in directing power  we started the series off with harold ramis  who also directed caddyshack and groundhog day as well as cowriting ghostbusters  not too bad  then we had national lampoons european vacation being directed by amy heckerling  who would go on to direct the hits look whos talking and clueless  as well as having already directed the infamous fast times at ridgemont high  lastly we had national lampoons christmas vacation  directed by jeremiah s  chechik  who went on to direct the charming benny  joon  kessler  so far  has one title under his belt  the short film birch street gym  which received an oscar nomination in 1992  granted that this was his first attempt at a feature length film  we can allow for some amateurish quality  but instead we get a movie straight from the text book  boring  bland  and deeply unoriginal  if you loved the  vacation  movies  and i know  some  of us did  there still isnt anything here worth seeing  if you loved them  dont ruin your good impressions of the series by indulging in this tragic example of cinema ala carte  if you never did like the series  why the need to confirm why  
neg	plunkett  macleane marks the directing debut of jake scott  brother of ridley and tony  naturally  this got me worried  would jakes talent be inherited from ridley or tony  if it was from ridley  than the movie would be a thoughtful suspensor with action thrown in  if it was from tony  it would be wham bang drivel  unfortunately  the latter is true for this worthless picture with little charm  carlyle and miller are the titular highwaymen  plunkett  carlyle  who is poor and unruly  and captain james macleane  miller  a clean cut gentleman  as the tagline clearly wants to make known  they rob the rich and nothing else  the film basically follows the rowdy hold ups the two stage  along with romantic interludes with lady rebecca  tyler   hot on both their tails is mr chance  ken stott  who wants to see them both dead  plunkett  macleane is an annoying little film that serves little purpose  although undoubtedly slick and fast paced  theres very little merit contained in the film  carlyle and miller are fun enough as the foul mouthed pair  although their characters are criminally undeveloped  it appears that much of the money has been spent on the expensive looking sets and costumes  but not on the script  the five    screenwriters  three credited  have produced an still born movie  theres very little development in the story  also  major events  such as mr  cash finding out who plunkett and macleane really are  are so rushed that they barely happened  the story is a bit of a mess  frankly  the performances arent bad  carlyle and miller are typical lads  but liv tyler is a huge disappointment as the love interest  her irritable  stilted performance sticks out like a sore thumb  and i was quite unsure on what accent she was trying to put on  she looks nice  though  more interesting is alan cummings as the campy lord rochester  and although his character amounts to nothing more than a two dimensional comedy gay character  he hams it up well  ken stott is suitably evil as chance  but again he is nothing but a flat character  i didnt particularly care when the predictable death sequence arrived  although a disappointment in writing  and a minor success in acting  the film certainly look lavish  with good costumes  and wonderful sets  but production design alone cant save a movie  especially a movie as bad as this mess  jake scott would be more suited to directing a music video rather than this failed update of a period drama  the only update seems to be the fact that everyone must talk dirty  with f  ck this and stand and f  cking deliver splattered all over the place  the mtv editing and direction are flash enough  but in the end decidedly empty  plunkett  macleane is a massive disappointment  although somewhat enjoyable during parts  its so light it could float off the screen if it wasnt just images on a reel  theres no thought  no development  no plot  just a series of manic edits and quirky camera angles to make this film appeal to genxers  although its a great idea  update a period drama to the mtv generation  its execution is awful  and would more likely bore than excite  sloppy and occasionally off puttingly tasteless  its hard to recommend plunkett  macleane as a movie  but easy to recommend it as a overlong music video  give it a miss  
neg	capsule  silly and inane adaptation of gibsons short story  which is nowhere in sight  gibsons script only adds insult to injury  johnny mnemonic is an awesomely bad movie  i say  awesomely  because its one thing to fail  but another thing entirely to fail so completely that even the chances for camp value are sabotaged  keanur reeves  who is terrible  stars as johnny  an  information courier  who can carry dozens of gigabytes of data in his head  he is given  one last job   whenever you are in a movie and you hear those words  run   which involves him shoving so much data into his cranium that it could be lethal  one of the neater touches that the movie brings in is that the only way he could make such an arrangement work was by ditching all of his childhood memories  but its only followed up on in a token fashion  for his trouble  johnny gets chased by the yakuza  who seem to be the new bad guys in all the hightech thrillers  whats funny is that if you watch gangster movies made  in  japan  there are whole gobs of details about genuine yakuza behavior and ethics  but of course theres no room in this movie for any of that  the yakuza are simply used to point guns  wave swords  flaunt tattoos  and grimace menacingly   i could go on about how gangsters and criminals of many other ethnicities have gotten thoughtful examinations in the movies  bound by honor  sugar hill and american me come to mind  when asians remain perpetually stereotyped  but thats another essay   anyway  johnny runs and eventually winds up in newark  why newark  maybe because it was cheaper to fake a future newark than a future new york  thats why  there  he meets an assortment of odd characters  icet  dolph lundgren and henry rollins play a whole gallery of weirdos   the script deals with them with all the depth of pieces of furniture  it turns out  what else   that the data in johnnys head could save a lot of people  but of course johnny only wants it out of his head so it doesnt kill him  handled right  this could have been absorbing  but the script manages to mangle any chance of real sympathy for johnny at every opportunity  the details about the look and feel of the future are all phoned in from other  better movies  blade runner and brazil come to mind  everything looks rundown and scummy  everyone dresses like theyre punk rockers  and videophones are commonplace  snore  the only really interesting flourish is an extended depiction of the way the internet might work in the future  complete with vr goggles and feedback gloves   but i kept thinking that it was more like what some relatively untechnical fellow would  think  it would look and behave like  a hacker of johnnys caliber would be blasting away with one commandline function after another  instead of wasting all this time twiddling with holograms  but of course thats not cinematic  whatever  what went wrong with this movie  gibson wrote his own screenplay  which i guess is part of the problem  what works as a short story doesnt work in a movie  his ear for dialogue is terrible and the plot doesnt advance  it convulses  from the script on out  it was probably all downhill  renting the movie to make fun of it is sort of pointless  theres no fun in kicking a wounded dog  is there  
neg	i didnt hate the big hit  even though it is a stupefyingly terrible film  for the entirety of its running time  my eyes were attached to the screen  and i never once got bored  i found the film interesting because of its unique awfulness  this is such a confused disaster of a film that its entertaining to watch it in the same way that its entertaining to witness a thirty car pileup on a freeway spaghetti bowl  as a narrative  the big hit is pure garbage  never truly deciding its genre and constantly crossing all kinds of boundaries  it reminded me a lot of grosse pointe blank  which is a similar film that fails in a lot of the same ways  its fine to mix genres  if the film makers know what theyre doing  unfortunately  writer ben ramsey and director kirk wong dont seem to know how to handle the material  and the result is an action film that wants to be a comedy  the biggest problem with the amalgamation  in this case  is that the film is absurd and the comedy is out of place  but it sure is a fascinating failure  marky    er  mark wahlberg stars as melvin surley  a hitman  hes a good hitman  apparently  although his tactics seem a bit rambunctious  he doesnt snipe or make clean killshe just kicks the door down and shoots everything   he works with a few other hitmencisco  lou diamond phillips   crunch  bokeem woodbine   and vinnie  antonio sabbato  jr    theyre a nice bunch of muscular guys  who stand around in the locker room after working out and compare masturbation to sex  they all work for a man named paris  avery brooks   who is rich  powerful  and in constant need of four sloppy hitmen  it is very important that they never go beyond their boss and do work on their own  this  of course  is where the plot comes in  they decide to kidnap a young japanese girl named keiko  china chow   who has a rich father  when they do this  it turns out she is paris    goddaughter  its very bad to have paris against you  the story is standard action film stuff  its nothing new  and nothing particularly offensive  but certainly not the slightest bit compelling   clearly the major selling point of the big hit is that its a john wootype of action film mixed in with some really hip comedy  its true that a lot of the action sequences resemble recent films that go for the same idea  such as faceoff and the replacement killers  which are both far superior   there are stunts that are fun to watch  the opening sequence has melvin and two of his partners going in to kill some guy who has nothing to do with the story  they use night vision goggles and really powerful handguns  melvin is also very good at breakdancing  and uses this talent to avoid bullets and knives  like i said  its not boring  most disasters arent  what makes it so bad is its genreshifting madness  it seems to start out as a quirkybutrealistic action comedy  as melvin is seen transporting bags of human remains  then  as soon as they go to their first hit  it turns into a music video with bodies and bullets flying everywhere  then  somewhere in between  it turns back into comedy  keiko turns out to be a spunky little girl  in one amusing scene  she is forced to read a letter out loud  indicating that she has been kidnapped  but the letter is littered with grammatical errors that skew the meaning of the words  and scenes like this work alone  but wong applies this goofy tone to scenes that should be more serious  or not be in the film at all  one of the most irritating moments has paris ordering cisco to come up to his office after he learns that keiko has been kidnapped  when cisco gets there  paris and his men are standing around as if they knew cisco did it  but they let him out of there  telling him to find the perpetrator  the scene is played for laughs  but it isnt funny  and since it doesnt quite work as a comedy  it tries to fall back on the action  which also fails  this is a film where people fly fifteen feet backwards when shot with a handgun  cars land on tree branches and are supported by them  characters betray each other without a second thought  grenades are thrown in tight places  people jump out of tall buildings and survive  people outrun tumbling cars  and get out of the way of falling objects in small fractions of seconds  most frustrating of all  though  is the films definition of a hit man  these guys are anything but subtle  quiet  and skilled individuals  theyre more like socially depraved militia men  melvin has an extensive collection of firearms in his garage  including missile launchers and handheld machineguns   the characters each have one trait that distinguishes them from the rest  this obviously doesnt make for deep or interesting people to watch  the acting is kind of fun  thoughwahlberg is a good actor  and his innocuous presence in this film is charming in a silly sort of way  phillips certainly has fun with his psychotic character  while christina applegate  who plays melvins fianc  e  is convincingly airheaded  the big hit is an action film that unknowingly spoofs itself in trying to be funny  the funniest parts are supplied by the actors  and not by the numerous failed attempts at sight gags and oneliners  its a true disaster  one that makes me believe that the goofy and unrealistic tone is completely unintentional  despite all this  though  i must reiterate the entertainment value here  you can cherish the awfulness of a film like this  if you embrace the big hit for the catastrophe that it is  you just might enjoy yourself  
neg	when the film features richard lynch in the role of chief villain  you know that you can expect nothing more than a b grade action movie  however  since this film also featured michael madsen  more than capable character actor  this time in the role of protagonist  the author of this review decided to give the film some benefit of the doubt  however  the very first scenes show clear b grade action credentials  madsen plays richard montana  tough policeman who raids a drug warehouse and make life miserable for local crime lord mario gio  played by lynch   however  the raid was only partially successful  and montana is getting the rap  so  he begins his own private war against gio  trying to penetrate his organisation pretending to be corrupt  in the process  he meets gios mistress gina zamora  played by rosie vela  and starts relationship with her too  although it doesnt stink like many of the similar films can  inside edge is mostly forgettable b grade action routine  nobody in this film actually puts much effort  including madsen or lynch  and this is especially case with uninspired screenwriter william tannen or director warren clarke  the only not so forgettable element in this film is presence of former supermodel rosie vela  who  apart from showing her more than impressive looks  shows some of the singing talent too  however  this isnt reason enough for viewers to spend hour and half watching a film that they would  in most likelihood  forget the next day  
neg	what are the warning signs of a  terrible  movie  making its debut at the dollar theater  locally  chairman of the board did just that  having the annoying prop comic scott thompson  better known as carrot top  in the lead role  chairman of the board  once again  how about an overly exhausted  paper thin plot approached with utter incompetence  did somebody say chairman of the board  thats right  carrot tops long dreaded major motion picture debut  at least for a starring role  is poking up in a handful of theaters across the country  chairman of the board stars the obnoxious  wannabezany king of redheaded standup comics as a lazy but creative  inventive but uneventful generation x er named edison  living with a pair of surfer dudes in a small  rented house  edison bounces from job to job  always squandering away the money on his eccentric  to say the least  inventions and ignoring crucial responsibilities such as rent  this has the crabby landlady  ms  krubavitch  estelle harris  best known as george constanzas mother on  seinfeld    threatening an eviction if past due expenses arent furnished post haste  as luck would have it  edison soon meets armand mcmillan  jack warden   an old surfer dude who just so happens to be president of the multimillion dollar mcmillan industries  sharing a passion for more than just riding waves  armand is deeply impacted by the young inventors notebook of dreams and ideas  and when the old man dies soon afterward  edison learns he is named a benefactor in armands will  predictably  edison acquires the entire corporation and has to maintain productivity with absolutely no knowledge of the business world  predictably  there is a bitter nephew  larry miller  whose lesser inheritance fuels resentment that will lead to an elaborate sabotage plot  predictably  there is an attractive employee  courtney thornesmith  whose initial repulsion will transform into love for our doofy protagonist  predictably  the man who knows nothing will fight against the odds and give the company its most profitable and successful turnaround ever  all because he ran things by common sense and not greed  its as though writers turi meyer  al septien  and alex zamm  meyer and septien also wrote leprechaun 2 together   pulled a plot out of a hat and worked carrot top into it  the jokes  the  surprises   the developments  all of them run such a predictable path  it may only be carrot tops signature brazen red hairdo that sets this one apart from the myriad of similar films  a movie this bad speaks for itself  whats left to say when every element the movie possesses is a shameful retread of movies past  the script is 100 recycled  the direction is hokey  and the acting is absolutely horrible  it is only thornesmith who seems to take her job seriously  an accomplishment which surely deserves the medal of honor  she certainly went beyond the call of duty  she has to kiss carrot top        barf bag  please   movies like this give the audience nothing to do but ponder just how many synonyms for  bad  there really are  chairman of the board  without a doubt  deserves each and every one  the only way this wont end up on everybodys  bottom ten of the year  list  is if they were lucky enough never to have seen it  just because you cant miss his outlandish fiery mane  dont skimp on avoiding this abhorrent feature  
neg	you dont look at a ren  magritte painting and search for a deeper meaning  you likewise dont look at one for 88 minutes straight  surrealist works are notable for their quirks  and they are fun  but looking at one quirk for an hour and a half is exhausting  that was my experience with i woke up early the day i died  a surrealistic  hyperactive comedy with no dialogue  its not a silent movie  there is lots of atmospheric music  occasional screams and weird sound effects  but nobody ever utters an audible word  though the film is distinctive  its unique style wore thin after about 20 minutes  and as it progressed  watching became a chore  the only reason the script ever got filmed is because it was written by the pseudolegendary ed wood  the man behind such  classics  as plan 9 from outer space and night of the ghouls  the joke  of course  is that his films are so bad  theyre good  so humorous in their inanity that they become hits  i woke up early the day i died  unfortunatly  is so bad that its really bad  it stars billy zane  titanic  as a dangerous lunatic who overpowers a nurse  escapes from a mental hospital and proceeds to wonder around  stealing a car  clothes  and a load of money  our thief reaches a cemetery  where he witnesses a bizarre ritual  he falls asleep and finds himself  literally  in a hole  with his money gone  for whatever reason  he is bent on getting his hardunearned cash back  considering how easily he stole it the first time  why didnt he just go steal some more    he comes upon a list of the people who were at the mysterious ceremony and commences to seek out each of them and kill them if they dont have what he is looking for  i dont think either director aris iliopulos nor ed wood realized that this would have made a glorious 20 minute short  the subject and the style seem to have been made for it  unfortunately  twenty minutes worth of material is stretched out to more than four times that length  and the film simply overstays its already dubious welcome  it grabbed my attention in the beginning and gradually lost it as it went on  up to the point where halfway through i was already weary  it might seem odd that a film as furiously paced as this one can be so tedious  but the surprise will wear off when you consider how repetitive it is  i woke up early the day i died is a comedy  i guess  though it could have fooled me  unlike most ed wood films  this one tries to be funny and fails  instead of the other way around  theres nothing inherently wrong with that  in fact  i think it would only make sense for someone who has been so  good  at making unintentional comedies to take a stab at a real one  whether wood actually went for comedy in his script well never know  but in either case  this is a failure  jonathan taylor thomas  christina ricci  summer phoenix  john ritter and others show up for short and pointless cameos  ricci  for example  plays a prostitute  her role consists of dancing around with zane in his motel room and then being thrown out  thomas is an astonished onlooker as a woman gets thrown off a cliff  was the home improvement teen heartthrob really that desperate for work  zane  meanwhile  occupies himself by making weird faces at the camera when he is not called upon to run around wildly and beat people up  lack of dialogue makes him the ultimate caricature  the carnival sideshow climax manages to demonstrate everything that is wrong with this nobudget production  its desperately unfunny  but thinks its the funniest thing since plan 9   its so spontaneously surrealistic it makes your head spin all while being confusing enough to make your head spin twice as fast in the other direction  i hope another film is made from an ed wood screenplay for i woke up early the day i died is not a fitting sendoff   1999 eugene novikov 137  
neg	well  as i check my score card for what ive done this holiday weekend  it reads good ideas  0 and dumb ideas  1  i dont know what i was thinking when i decided to watch this movie  but in my defense  i can only say that it was someone else who urged me to see this with him  the film that im talking about is a night at the roxbury   one of those offerings based on a saturday night live skit  wayne and garth  these two are not  rather  we meet doug and steve butabi  the actors names are not worth mentioning   two eternal partyers whose greatest ambitions in life seem to be finding a way to get into the hottest night club in the city  the roxbury  driving in their dads bmw and donning metallic disco suits right out of miami vice  they try to bribe the bouncer to get into the club  have you met my friend washington and his friend roosevelt   they confidently say as they pull out spare pocket change  their second greatest ambition seems to be oozing out as many silly pickup lines as is humanly possible in order to start a conversation with a girl  let me see that label  just as i thought  made in heaven   says one of the brothers   and  like the losers that they are  they fail to do either for much of the film  however  as fate would have it  an accidental meeting with whateverhappenedto richard grieco gives them the allimportant ticket to get in  their sad lives take on a whole new direction  they make an important contact with the club owner who believes that these two brothers have uncanny insight into the club scene  and they are mistaken as rich swingers by two voluptuous young women  but their newfound popularity does not impress their father  who has other plans for them  the unfortunate thing about this film is that this is a onejoke movie  and the brothers are the joke  actually  theres about 10 mintues worth of tolerable stuff  alas  too long for tv and way too short for a featurelength film  thus  there just isnt enough material to sustain the 83minute movie  theres no plot to be found and everything that these two do seem to culminate in an opportunity to execute their trademark move of snapping their heads in unison to the funky beat of haddaways europop song  what is love  i was amazed that none of the two suffered from whiplash  to take up more film time  there is a subplot involving the daughter of the businessman next door who wants to marry doug  this creates not only friction between the brothers  but their unlikely pairing will also agitate audience members as well  shes educated and a forebearing witch  meanwhile  doug is a complete loser  how did these two ever get together  i suppose that if i can ever figure out the answer to that question  ill have figured out why i decided to go and see this movie  if youre looking for entertainment  you wont find it at the roxbury  
neg	terrence malick made an excellent 90 minute film adaptation of james jones world war ii novel  unfortunately  he buried it within an overlong and overreaching 3hour long pseudoepic  this is a shame because the film features an outstanding performance by nick nolte  the best scene is when nick noltes character  lt  col  tall  is forced to deal with the direct refusal by capt  staros  elias koteas  to execute an order  noltes reaction and transformation may be the best work of his career  had terrence malick concentrated on the great performances of nolte and koteas as well as those by sean penn  woody harrelson  and john cusack  he could have made a truly great film  instead  malick saddled the film with plodding pacing  unnecessary flashbacks  and a voiceover narration all designed to telegraph the great philosophical underpinnings of the story  the narration was especially annoying as much of it sounded like very bad high school poetry  with a lot of editing  the core story could be transformed into a truly classic war film  hopefully  the dvd version of this film will feature options to suppress the narration  and perhaps will even provide for an alternate  shorter version of the film  i give this film  
neg	i cried during babe  i admit it  the special effects  the story  the great dialogue were woven together so delicately and successfully that my mind lost track that this was a  childrens film  so much so that  yes  i got a little overly sentimental  such  my friend  is the power of cinema  when word came out that they were using this newly developed fx for a doctor dolittle update  in which eddie murphy plays the title character  and many great comic actors supply the voices  my anticipation rose to great expectations  they cant possibly drop the ball on this one  cant miss  cant possibly miss  they missed  what went wrong  after much thought  i supply three general rules   1  dont let a television actressturnedcomedy movie director near an urbanite script  i  e   penny marshalls dreadful  preachers wife    betty thomas worked wonders with  the brady bunch movie   but the same sitcomairiness doesnt quite work here  its as if she lifted a generic sitcom  and iced it with light doses of modern rb  take away the black cast  take away the atrocious soundtrack  and you have the residue of some mid80s kirk cameron show   2  the greater the cast  the less the individual castmember has to do  i  e    con air    it is great to have the comic voices of jenna elfman  garry schandling  john leguizimo  ellen degeneres  and gilbert godfried in your lineup  but they have nothing to do but improvise their underdeveloped  stereotyped characters  onelineatatime  its even worse  because sometimes their voices are so unrecognizable that you dont get the satisfaction of linking the voice to the comedian until the credits  now there are three character actors who do get special treatment  albert brooks brings dignity to nearly every project hes in  and the scenes as a depressed tiger do resonate a certain poignancy  norm mcdonald fares nearly as well  as a stray dog who learns to bond with dolittle  but theres little humor here  that rests on the shoulders of chris rock  sorely miscast and unfunny as the voice of their wiseass guinea pig  even the mouth is illsynched   3  dont let the special effects technicians walk away with the script  theres a certain timing thats mandatory in comedy  to have this timing usurped by the brilliancy of computer generated mouths or lifelike creations of jim hensons creature shop  is a travesty  this is not to say that special effects filled comedies or muppet movies arent welltimed laughfests  with the right director  they can be and have  here  betty thomas is clearly over her head  i wish i could commend the special effects  but theyre merely average  count the number of times where the animals mouth is turned away from the camera  or too far to notice  or illsynched  this is less a  babe  and more of a  look whos barking  clone  you may be wondering  how does eddie murphy fare   well  he came back with the exceptional  nutty professor   and i dont doubt he can come back again  here  hes tied into a straight man and given little to do  the exceptions are when he fears hes going crazy  a far cry from his smarterthanyoud expect routine that hes more adept at  its unfortunate that he is where richard pryor was ten years ago  making lame comedies without the same bite he had given in his early years  after all this  whats left  butt jokes  a lot of butt jokes  i guess for kids that may be funny  but i was stonefaced  if theres a lesson the film may be telling us  is that animals have feelings too  and they care way too much for your butt  
neg	saw an advanced screening of the movie sniper last night  and i have to say i wasnt too impressed  this film is about an expert marine sniper  played by tom berenger  who is teamed with a hotshotyoungnoexperienceneverkilledaman new partner to take out some drugkingpins and military strong men in panama  sound cliche  thats only the beginning  billy zane  memphis belle  played the rookie  and never seemed to get a handle on his character  he was so contrary and pigheaded in the beginning  you just wanted to smack him  then he goes  crazy  from the pressure  but seems to immediately snap out of it  im not sure if the blame should lie with the directing  editing  scriptwriting  or acting    but it didnt all come together  i think berenger is a pretty good actor  and he looked great in the part  covered in camo  face painted  stalking through the jungle with his highpower rifle    but once again  his character was given some pretty bad dialogue  and didnt react too logically to many of the situations  there was very little logical development in these characters  my biggest problem with this film was its tendency to put these two snipers in as  many  inchesfromdeath situations as possible  they began to resemble g  i  joes  the greatest american hero  and of course their almost supernatural accuracy with their guns was called upon to get them out of far too many close calls  now a lot of movies are stamped out of this mold  in fact thats what made die hard so much fun  the superhero avenger type  so some will enjoy the action hero heroics  but i didnt think it fit with the nice tension that was built up in the earlier scenes  and the  real life  feel of covert operations in panama  a word must be said on the camera work  much of it was very nice  the jungles of panama  or their standins in this case  formed a very picturesque background    and the drama of speeding bullets was captured using some nice trick photography  many have seen the slowed down  bulletcam  following the projectile to its target  this was used well in the beginning to show the feverish nightmares berenger gets when remembering the moment of the kill  it was dramatic when used in flashback    but it seems the director liked the technique so much he started inserting these shots  pardon the pun  into the real time action    then it just seemed silly  all in all  not a real dog  there is some nice action  good atmosphere  and pretty photography  but the plot is pretty lame  the acting didnt form a cohesive whole  and far too much thisclosefromdeath heroics  
neg	an 18foothigh  43footlong dragon is the computergenerated co star of this strictlybythenumbers sword n sorcery flick  as voiced by sean connery   draco  is a surprisingly expressive creation who is welldeserving of his 23 minutes of screen time  he walks  talks  flies  fries  and even fakes his own death  all with the help of 96 computeraided animators  too bad that ilm  industrial light and magic  couldnt spare some special effects for dragonhearts  human  costars  a bearded black hole exists where dennis quaid should be  hes a neartotal loss as he growls glumly through his role of a disillusioned knight  david thewlis evil king has a high hiss factor  hf   though hes more of a mumbling oddity than anything else  oh  and theres some redhead in a 90s wig  who runs around either screaming or scowling  depending upon if the particular scene has her playing the woman in peril or the put upon peasant  the fringe flourishes include pete postlethwaite as a wandering monk with literary ambitions  julie christie    as the good queen mother  a band of mercenaries that appear dressed for ye olde heavymetal concert  and  believe or it not  the speaking spirit of king arthur  bring out your dead  unfortunately  when we add it all together  draco  fringe bits  quaid  thewlis   the sum total amounts to zero  dragonheart is  well  too much of too little  director rob cohen  dragon  the bruce lee story  has made a big  expensive movie that  while ambitiously plotted  is both murky and predictable  and overscored  and selfimportant  and the list goes on   i must ask  did screenwriter charles edward pogue intend that  every  character be stabbed  lanced  or sliced at least once  keep that man away from the knife drawer   the last five minutes of this movie are the worst  with some silly celestial nonsense that would be laughed out of any planetarium light show  much less a summer movie  save your money  
neg	1989s  major league  was a delightful surprise  i didnt expect much of it when i decided to watch it on cable  but it proved to be fresh and funny  however  when the appeal of a movie is its freshness  the sequels are virtually guaranteed to be stale  thats certainly true of  major league ii  and the most recent entry   major league  back to the minors   the title is  of course  a contradiction  shouldnt it be  minor league   that contradiction suggests the lengths to which writerdirector john warren has gone to squeeze a third movie out of the formula established by the first movie  original stars charlie sheen and tom berenger  who returned for  major league ii   are not around  leaving corbin bernsen the only original headliner to make the third movie  the other veterans who return  dennis haysbert as voodooinspired batter cerrano and takaaki ishibashi as tanaka  who was introduced in  league ii   seem to be around just to lend legitimacy to the enterprise  the only returning cast member who produces any laughs is bob uecker as radio announcer harry doyle  inexplicably broadcasting the games of a minor league team far from his home turf  the protagonist this time around is retiring pitcher gus cantrell  scott bakula   who is hired by minnesota twins owner roger dorn  bernsen  to manage the twins aaa team  the buzz  you can write the movie from here  he finds a group of misfits who need to learn how to play together as a team in order to win  theres a future superstar whose ego keeps him from growing  walton goggins   an exballet dancer  kenneth johnson   a brokendown old timer  thom barry   twin outfielders both named juan  the difilippo triplets   and a couple pitchers with throwing problems  judson mills and peter mackenzie   along the way  gus picks up cerrano and tanaka  gus is supposedly an old teammate of theirs  even though he wasnt in either of the preceding films   sum total  none  the entire enterprise is artificial  and the cast is not ready for the hollywood majors  gus antagonist is twins manager leonard huff  ted mcginley   leonard is a slimy  sniveling little egotist  and the twins are lazy  spoiled  and full of themselves   even watching the first movie i wondered why any reallife team would lend itself to being caricatured in this manner   gus challenges leonard to a match  the buzz vs  the twins   wanna guess who wins    back to the minors  is a movie that has no reason to exist  theres hardly a laugh in it  the cast is weak  and the first movie left no room for even one sequel  
neg	   the following review contains some harsh language    but what did you expect when you clicked on this title     cast  kristen holly smith  danica sheridan  alex boling  michael dotson  sonya hensley  janet krajeski  sabrina lu  dionysius burbano  calvin grant  jeff b  harmon written and directed by  jeff b  harmon running time  97 minutes  the thought of losing you makes me all vomity inside    blatz balinski  danica sheridan  laments the fact that her lesbian lover  april  kristen holly smith   has just received a telegram from her exfiance  isle of lesbos is an incredibly offensive musical comedy about april pfferpot  smith   a resident of the small town of bumfuck  arkansas who is about to get married to high school sweetheart and football hero dick dickson  michael dotson   when april gets extreme cold feet she runs home  sticks a gun in her mouth  and pulls the trigger  instead of killing herself  she is magically transported through her mirror into the isle of lesbos  an alternate dimension where lesbians rule and no men are allowed  except for lance  the homosexual toilet cleanerslave   april loves her new home and friends  but dick and her parents are not so ready to give her up  mr  and ms  pfferpot  director jeff b  harmon and janet krajeski  decide they need medical help so they enlist the aid of dr  sigmoid colon  also jeff b  harmon   who claims he can cure homosexuality  in actuality  dr  colon is homosexual as well and begins his special  treatment  on dick dickson  unbeknownst to dick   when april turns down dicks demand for her to return to bumfuck  he decides to take matters in his own hands and attack the isle of lesbos rambostyle  instead of leveling the place he falls in love with lance  alex boling  and the two of them  along with april and her lover blatz  get married   note to the filmmaker  why did the character of lance make asides to the camera followed by silence that im assuming was inserted for the purpose of waiting until the laughter of the audience had subsided   aprils parents  feeling like there is no recourse  call in a favor to president clinton and send a nuclear bomb  whose circuitry inexplicably is made up of a homosexual performer  their way  the bomb is a dud thanks to the work of the  circuitry  and they rewire it and send it back to washington d  c   destroying it  mr  and ms  pfferpot give up trying to get their daughter back and instead decide to join her as they have some alternative sexual practices of their own  im not sure if writerdirectorcostar jeff b  harmon was purposely trying to offend people because he believes in some of the ideas his movie presents or if he was just going for cheap laughs  either way  he manages to present some of the most offensive material i have ever seen in a movie  the film opens with a preacher running a small africanamerican child out of town  and then later moves on to the hanging of a michael jackson impersonator by the ku klux klan  during a jaunty musical number   preceded by remarks about  gays and straights finally being able to put their differences behind them and work together to hate others  such as the jews   if harmon was merely trying to point out how idiotic society can be  then i apologize for being so harsh on elements of his film  but it is presented so mean spiritedly that i cant help but feel like he had some serious intent  as for the entire central theme of the movie  im afraid that its one that i just dont get  i tried to keep an open mind while watching it  but the homosexual elements were just too prevalent for my tastes  it was hard enough to watch them bash other races and sexes without them preaching about the virtues of being homosexual and accepted by society  how does one expect to be accepted if they are just as guilty of nonacceptance  im not prone to judging anyone and i believe that people should be free to explore whatever avenues they wish free from the scornful eye of society  but dont force your particular rhetoric down my throat if you arent going to show the same respect for my preferences that you wish from me  again  maybe im missing the satirical point that harmon is trying to make  but if so  i think it could have been handled a little more tactfully  as far as musical comedies go  isle of lesbos is no trey parker and matt stone musical  but a good portion of the songs are maddeningly catchy  despite the disturbing visuals   mom and apple pie  stuck with me for the rest of the day  speaking of disturbing visuals   wedding bells aint ringing  could have been a decent song  but the accompanying visuals of spousal abuse are more harrowing than this film should be displaying   im a lesbian   which is touted in the press release as being particularly popular  is also pretty good  but a good portion of that could be due to the stellar singing voice of ms  smith  its mainly on her excellent vocals that my rating of this film is based  the other performers are decent  save for the rosie odonnell like performance given by danica sheridan  i have no inherent problem with her character  it is just her singing voice that leaves little to be desired  one particular musical number   lesbian rock   was one of the lowest points i have ever experienced in my filmgoing life thanks to a strained and lackluster vocal job by sheridan  the film ends about twenty minutes before the credits actually roll  the remainder of the running time is padded out with a few more songs   lesbian rock  included  and the ridiculously presented antinukes message tacked on to the end for no reason other than to make it a feature length film  once the  isle of lesbos reprise  was reached  i felt the story had already been wrapped up well enough to end it all  why was the film needlessly stretched out past its obvious end  isle of lesbos is available on videocassette from www  indieunderground  com  the transfer is pretty clean  and all the detail of the wrinkled cloth and paint backdrops are readily apparent  and the film is letterboxed at approximately 1  85  1  in many respects  isle of lesbos has incredible cult potential  like a rocky horror for the new millennium   this film is by no means my cup of tea  but i know there are those out there who will enjoy it  if you think it might be for you  then by all means seek it out  i  on the other hand  will be cleansing my palette with a good action film like gladiator    wait  arent gladiator films considered to be    oh  never mind  
neg	one of the indicator of badness in film is the hype being remembered more than film itself  such was the case with boxing helena  1993 directorial debut of jennifer chambers lynch  daughter of the great david lynch  made in the dying years of posttwin peaks lynch craze among movie snobs  it was hyped as another   warped  twisted masterpiece  of lynch clan  kim basinger also provided extra publicity by quitting the lead role and being sued for the breech of contract  but  the result was extremely disappointing film  which quickly sank into welldeserved oblivion  the movie protagonist is nick cavanaugh  played by julian sands   talented surgeon who is getting obsessed by helena  sherilyn fenn   beautiful woman who ditched him after brief affair  cavanaugh stalks her and uses every opportunity for the pathetic attempts to reestablish the relationship  during one of such occasions  helena is hit by a car  and nick quickly takes the role of her personal physician in order to have his way with her  after she wakes up  helena discovers not only that she is prisoner in cavanaughs stylish residence  but also that cavanaugh amputated her legs in order to prevent her from escaping  she is still trying to escape  so cavanaugh takes off her arms  apart from casting sherilyn fenn  audrey horne in twin peaks and small cameo in wild at heart  and the use of twisted characters and their perverse fantasies  this film by ms  lynch hasnt got anything in common with the works of directors more talented father  despite rather bizarre subject  the style of this film is conventional and setting is light  characters are beautiful  but the result at the end is quite sterile and the film in the end looks too artificial for dark sexual fantasy it was supposed to portray  jennifer lynch obviously lacks talents in directing and it becomes painfully obvious in the scenes that are supposed to erotic  its banal artificiality is even bellow the standards of playboy videos  the actors arent good either  julian sands is terribly miscast as emotionally disturbed man  this actors is best either when he plays charismatic protagonists or villains  being neurotic doesnt suit him  bill paxton was better for this role  but his presence was wasted in forgettable and unnecessary subplot dealing with helenas boyfriend  sherilyn fenn contributed to this film mostly by her looks  but even the her greater effort in acting couldnt help this film  the screenplay  on the other hand  is awful  at least for someone who had made bestseller with laura palmers diary  the events in this movie are implausible  characters come and go without purpose and many unnecessary subplots only slow down the film and add to the total confusion  one of those subplots involves character of cavanaughs  regular  girlfriend  played by betsy clarke  the twist at the end  although unpredictable  is unbelievable and the viewers  who had the stomach to endure entire film  would feel cheated  all in all  boxing helena is disorganised quasiartistic mess of a movie that should be remembered as nothing more than one of the wiser decisions in kim basingers career  
neg	lets get this one over with as quickly as possible  if there was a possibility to receive a refund  this review would not be forthcoming  but as it is   godzilla  is without a doubt the loudest  longest  and ultimately most amateurishly written film ever released through a major studio  producer dean devlin and director roland emmerich should be ashamed of themselves  and as penance be forced to return to film school to watch  last year at merienbad  until they can grasp the idea of content and plot  no amount of hype  no amount of money can hide the fact that these filmmakers are the 90s equivalent to william beaudine  billy the kid vs  dracula    godzilla  opens with stock footage of the bikini atoll nuclear tests interspersed with footage of iguanas playfully swimming and nuzzling their eggs  we are then introduced to the crew of a japanese fish canning ship  a questionable enterprise considering that tuna processing is supposed to be supervised to eliminate the netting of dolphins   well  the ship is attacked and sunk by an unseen creature  later  a group of frenchmen led by philippe roache  jean reno  interview the sole survivor  in a state of shock  the only thing the man can utter is the word  gojira   the japanese name of the famed beast   we are then introduced to dr  nick tatopoulos  matthew broderick  with a moniker obviously taken from the effects designer of the film   he is currently studying the effects that the chernobyl disaster has had on the local earthworm population  he is immediately drafted by the u  s  military and taken to panama where he is shown the huge footprints of a creature  in a short amount of time  another fishing boat  loaded with canned tuna from the u  s  and korea for some reason  is found grounded in jamaica  well  it seems that whatever is eating these ships is headed for new york  when the beast finally appears  he tears up one building  stomps a couple of trucks and makes life hell for the incumbent mayor ebert  thumbs up for new york   the military  with dr  tatopouloss help  have two tons of fresh fish dumped in the middle of new york to lure the beast out of its hiding place in the new york subway system  it finally comes crashing through the city streets and has a cute face to face with dr  tatopoulos who snaps the beasts picture  the monster eats the fish  the military starts shooting  and the chase is on  with the army causing 90 of the ensuing damage  working from a hunch as to why godzilla has decided to come to the big apple  dr  totopoulos buys a few home pregnancy kits from a local drugstore that has chosen to remain open  even though new york has been evacuated   well the test proves that the monster is a hermaphrodite and is pregnant  needless to say  no one believes the good doctor about his discovery  so he must join up with the renegade french secret service agents and find the monsters nesting site and destroy the eggs before the mayor starts letting the populous back into the city  even though the monster isnt dead yet   i sincerely hope that ive completely spoiled any interest anyone might have of seeing this film  i gave away the relevant plot so that i could spare those of you courageous  or foolish  enough to drop down an hours wage on this tripe  everything about  godzilla  reeks almost as bad as the piles of rotting fish used to trap the beast  the script  and lets be clear here  by devlin and emmerich is so full of plot holes and non characters as to be sure to be the recipient of next years  razzie  award  the dialogue between maria pitillo  as audrey timmonds  dr  tatopoulos estranged girlfriend  and mr  broderick is so adolescent  it makes teenagers giggle in disbelief  as happened during the screening i witnessed   the film could be enjoyably campy if it didnt take itself so damn seriously  but to what end  as there is no commentary on humanities foibles against nature  nor is there any reference about godzilla being some sort of retaliation against mankind  no  godzilla is just a big dummy that got knocked up by some french immigrants and decided to let the state of new york pay for it  the film is bleak and ugly looking  taking place at night during a rain storm  the movie has little or no depth  everything is ugly and dark  new york has never looked so inhospitable since  death wish   in an attempt to give the film some color  audrey timmonds carries a bright red umbrella which is unique in that everyone else in the film carries the standard gray issue  the only moment of composition and color is during the brief scenes on jamaica  where dr  tatopoulos finds himself standing in a giant footprint  the scene is nicely photographed but poorly set up  you know from the outset that nick is standing in a footprint  for a scientist  this is very poor observation  lets look at some of the more interesting plot holes in the film  this activity  is becoming almost as popular as the kevin bacon game   1   why does the french nuclear tests only affect one clutch of iguana eggs  and how do those eggs fuse into one beast  2   why would a cold blooded creature choose a cold climate  such as new york  to nest  i dont think iguanas have a habit of migrating  3   how can godzilla crawl through the new york subway system  slice a submarine in half  yet be unable to extricate himself from some thin  in comparison  steel cable on the brooklyn bridge  4   the brooklyn bridge is the only suspension bridge in existence that does not need its suspension cables  5   did godzilla carry all two hundred eggs in her belly  if so  then radioactive mutations surely are wondrous creatures   note  each egg is 10 feet tall and almost as wide  godzilla would have to be over 1  000 feet tall to carry them all   6   godzilla can crush ships and eat helicopters  but new york cabs are made of stronger steel  7   godzilla can out maneuver helicopters  bullets  torpedoes and missiles  but cant catch you on foot  8   taxis can out maneuver godzilla  9   godzilla can burrow through the subway system but cant tear through the park avenue tunnel  10   why was nothing else mutated by the nuclear test as quickly as godzilla  maybe a giant hermit crab in the sequel  11   galapagos iguanas actually live in the french polynesian islands  12   why was dr  tatopoulos brought in by the military if they were not going to listen to him anyway  13   how did they evacuate new york island in less than a day  and how did they convince those new yorkers to go to new jersey  14   new york television stations use vhs tape for both filming and broadcasting  new yorkers hate beta cam  i could go on and on  but that would only serve to make the film seem more enjoyable than it is  dont be fooled  this film has less gray matter than any episode of  americas funniest home videos   the performances in the film are singularly bland  not one performance belays any awe or fear in the face of this two hundred foot tall terror  the characters  in the midst of the onslaught  have time to stop and discuss the lack of good coffee  failed relationships  career choices  the only common occurrence that doesnt take place here is having one of the characters have a bowel movement  but then that would have made them believable  godzilla for the most part is okay  the design of the beast is funky  if not very memorable  one thing that comes to mind the major redirection of godzilla in this film is to remove his most familiar trademark  namely his atomic breath  now  i for one cant quite fathom how you can call this monster godzilla without that little trait  a good comparison would be to make a superman film and eliminate his ability to fly  there is so much wrong with this film that i cant really recall anything recently that has left me this cold hearted  except for my divorce   any film that can have a two ton lizard slipping on gum balls has got to be envisioned under the influence of prozac  the addition of the baby raptors  ah  i meant godzillas   are nothing but a direct rip off of jurassic park   but with none of that films suspense or tension  suffice to say that   godzilla  is without a doubt the most brain dead motion picture of the decade  this is a film that needed the hype  with the current level of writing and directing  nothing else about the film succeeds  if youve seen the trailers  youve seen the best parts  my only suggestion for mr  d and mr  e  is that they could always go back to selling shoes   this film could be the next  rocky horror   only its not funny  
neg	woody allen is one of the most successful artistdirectors in hollywood  but he is becoming less and less reliable as a filmmaker  in his early years of filmmaking he mastered the simple comedy  from there he went into a second phase and took risks experimenting with different approaches and styles  some of these work better than others  zelig and crimes and misdemeanors are the work of a creative and intelligent artist  deconstructing harry goes to the other extreme and is a bizarre experiment demanding more of the viewer than it gives back  harry block  allen  has in his life only two drives  he wants to have sex with as many women as possible and when he makes a mess of his life and those of his lovers he wants to retreat into his writing  the story of this static and highly unsympathetic character is told with a number of often clumsy stylistic experiments  perhaps the most irritating device is to express the disjointedness of harrys life by editing harrys scenes putting in cuts in the middle as if to show missing time with something edited out  as a writer  harry puts his friends into his books in the thinnest of disguises  the film dramatizes incidents from these supposed books and cuts between his real story line and fragments from harrys books with different actors playing the real and fictional people in harrys life  these fragments are frustrating in their lack of completion  but even more frustrating is the bringing of the characters out of the fragments into scenes with the real characters  it is up to the viewer to keep track not just who is fictional and who is real but also to keep straight who is the fictional doppelganger of which real person  if that sounds complicated  it is  then as another device in one of the stories  an actor seems to have the peculiar property that he has gone out of focus and can only be seen in blurry image  harry sees this as a metaphor for his own condition and himself goes blurry for a short time  as if these touches did not create sufficient confusion  the story is told out of chronological order  if allen were giving the audience a story that was worth decoding  any and all of these stylistic touches could be excusable  but allen puts the audience through all of this to give us a portrait of harry block who is a selfish manipulator who is not worth the effort to understand  deconstructing harry is set at a time when harrys old college  the one that expelled him when he attended it  wants now to honor him for a lifetime of writing achievement  harry is searching among his friends to find one who will go with him  just why someone who is so unwilling to commit to a relationship with anyone suddenly needs the support of someone else is unclear  harry tries his current girl friend fay  elizabeth shue  only to find that she is about to marry harrys old friend larry  billy crystal   block would like his son hilly  eric lloyd  to accompany him  but hillys mother  previously first harrys psychiatrist and more recently his wife  refuses to let her son see his father  another friend richard  bob balaban  would go but has health problems  harry also considers bringing a prostitute cookie  hazel goodman   it is interesting that allen should introduce another likable prostitute so soon after mighty aphrodite  but cookie is considerably differentblack and a lot brighter than mira sorvinos character in the previous film  while the comedy sequences are never complete  a few are elaborate and some quite funny  the centerpiece of the film is a journey into hell with allen playing a sort of orpheus rescuing fay from the clutches of the devil  who looks a lot like larry  that story also is left uncompleted  perhaps to show harrys unwillingness to commit even to telling a story  the linchpin that was needed to tie together the stylistic quirks of this film was a central character who changes and who gives us something about which to care  that character is patently not the one allen creates in harry block and not the characters around harry as seen through his acerbic eyes  allen can do much better than deconstructing harry  i rate it a 3 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 1 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	heres a rarity  a childrens film that attempts to tackle a weighty subject  is there a god  done well  it could have been a gem among the wasteland of modern childrens cinema  unfortunately  it isnt  with jumbled messages  and an unclear audience  wide awake was better left asleep  fifth grader joshua beal  joseph cross  is in the middle of a moral crisis  his beloved grandfather  robert loggia  has died  and joshua has begun a quest  he wants to find god  to discover why bad things happen  this religious quest is slightly disturbing for his parents  dana delany and denis leary   but they do their best to cope with their son as he explores different religious faiths  at his catholic school  his favorite teacher  sister terry  rosie odonnell   tries to give him guidance  but this is a journey he must make on his own  meanwhile  he is having the most momentous year of his life  he has several adventures with his daredevil best friend dave  timothy reifsnyder   he gets his first crush  and begins to wake up to the world around him while he is on his spiritual journey  it is somewhat confusing as to what the real audience for wide awake is expected to be  on its surface  it appears to be a kids film  however  it deals with serious issues  and is likely to be boring for todays instantgratification kids  and while it might seem heartening to see that someone is trying to produce something thoughtful for the kidvid audience  wide awake asks serious questions  but only delivers a cheap gimmick for an answer  if there were a bit more meat in the story  adults on a nostalgic bent might get a kick out of the movie  the actors who might have created a great cast  odonnell  leary and delany  are wasted in roles that amount to little more than cameos  the nostalgic elements  best friend  favorite teacher  first crush  etc   have been done much better in other movies  and actually seem more like filler here  the films strongest scenes are some touching flashbacks depicting joshuas relationship with his grandfather  they show more depth than is present anywhere else in the movie  maybe the film would have been better if  instead of playing the relationship through flashbacks  it were set entirely during joshuas last year with his grandpa  it certainly would have been more entertaining  wide awake can best be described as a failed experiment  it starts out with noble aspirations  but never delivers on its promise  parents who do take their children to see this one ought to be prepared to answer some tough questions    that is if their kids arent bored to death first  
neg	theres no reason to doubt that donnie brasco is based  as its opening credits proclaim  on a true story  but if its an accurate picture of life on americas mean streets  than cinematic depictions of organised crime have had a much stronger basis in reality than i would have previously thought  for from the films outset  when a group of hoods jocularly trade differing opinions on the merits of various automobiles  not unlike a number of movie lowlifes who recently gave a madonna song a close reading  donnie brasco resembles more than passingly a few gangster flicks once believed to be works of fiction  our eponymous hero  johnny depp  is not the cheap crook he first appears to be  brasco is joseph pistone  an undercover fbi agent who has the task of chummingup to lefty  al pacino   a seasoned hood who tutors pistone in the art of being a  wiseguy   regrettably  pistone learns his lessons all too well  his concern for lefty  who is burdened with a heroin addicted son  exacerbates his own family troubles  his children resent his lengthy absences and his wife fears that her husbands gangster persona is becoming a little too convincing  true  the focus on pistones family life does deviate from the typical gangsterflick formula  but this subplot never rises above its television drama origins  the unhappy couple trade predictable lines and engage in drawnout domestic squabbles  including an illadvised marriage guidance routine  that slow the film down unnecessarily  the biggest problem with donnie brasco  however  is that its wiseguy attitude and style lacks the flair of its many predecessors  the awkward use of an occasional disco tune momentarily reminds us its the 70s  but not with the consistent and blindingly tacky style  i loved those fluoro coloured suits  of scorces costume drama casino  more importantly  pacinos presence triggers memories of his earlier movie triumphs in which similar territory was covered far more effectively  donnie brascos take on american values  for instance  is feeble and obvious  lefty rambles out dreams of material betterment to the accompaniment of grating inspirational music  inexplicably  leftys horatio alger inspired gush is supposed to move us  it doesnt any more than his family troubles do  which are dealt in the same saccharine and obvious manner as pistones  just think a minute on how these themes were explored in the godfather movies and scarface  in these pictures pacinos dedication to a peculiar and bloody hypercapitalism was twisted and confronting  while his dogged application of macho wiseguy procedure meant that his relations to friends and family was intriguingly dark  neither were spared bloody retribution for breaching wiseguy regulations  donnie brascos tawdry little crime  therefore isnt so much its repetition of familiar gangster themes  but the shameless way in which it sanitises them   oh and by the way  i forgot to mention that the script also sports a startling subplot  pipstones superiors are obstructive incompetents who are infuriated by his constant insubordination  is that a  damn you mcbain   i hear from springfield way   so the movie is cliched  big deal  what do you expect from a gangsterflick  well you expect quality action sequences and bravado performances in abundance if its going to be a decent example of the genre  donnie brasco fails on both counts  the action scenes never rise above the ordinary and depps woeful performance tends to smother the goodwork of his comrades  admittedly  pacino does nothing new and michael madsen  sonny  simply smirks his way through the picture like a slightly subdued mr  white  but both possess an unmistakable sly charm  depp usually exhibits a bit of class himself  but regrettably  being in the presence of one of his betters must have left him starstruck  for he is completely hellbent on mimicking pacinos wellearned high style  the consequences are painful to watch  its no exaggeration to say that the films credibility is seriously strained by the sight of the pistone familys uncanny ability to keep a straight face in front of their breadwinners phony brooklyn accent  perhaps we should take pity on the makers of donnie brasco  maybe a scrupulous adherence to pinpoint accuracy demanded tiered dialogue and scenarios weakly reminiscent of classic gangster flicks  if this is indeed the case  surely the makers of donnie brasco could have explored the fascinating possibility that americas underworld is committed to emulating  albeit in heavily attenuated form  their movie namesakes  depp could have poignantly played a simple cop who becomes a hideous parody once he is forced to mimic bigscreen gangster greats  who knows what insights into the criminal psyche could have arisen  but then again  perhaps donnie brasco isnt so true after all  
neg	these days the lack of originality in hollywood reflects itself in the deluge of remakes  but  only a few years ago  before wes craven publicly made fun of the practice  sequels had been more popular among hollywood producers  sequels also used to be popular among directors and movie stars whose careers went south  the way to regain popularity and prestige  they thought  was the use the same formulas  characters and story lines that brought them success in the first place  one of such celebrity was eddie murphy  black comedian of 1980s whose career was in big decline during the first part of this decade  in order to return to the spotlight  he chose to resurrect the franchise created by his most popular film  beverly hills cop  1984 action comedy that had already spawned the sequel in 1987  seven years later  for the third instalment  he used the directorial service of john landis  another fading star  with whom he successfully collaborated twice  in trading places and coming to america  this time  however  third time wasnt the charm and beverly hills iii was failure  eddie murphy had to wait few more years for real comeback  eddie murphy here plays axel foley  fasttalking streetwise detroit policeman  who raids illegal chop shop  the routine police action ends in tragedy  when the criminals kill foleys boss  determined to bring the killers to justice  foley realises that their leader is ellis de wald  timothy carhart   when it turns out that de wald happens to be security chief for wonderland theme park in los angeles  foley goes back to los angeles  there  with the help of his old friend  local policeman rosewood  judge rheinhold   foley would clash with money counterfeit ring  ten years has passed since the original and times are definitely different  in this decade  the contrast between blue collar detroit and yuppie beverly hills  which provided a lot of gags in 1984 film  simply doesnt work  screenwriter steven e  de souza provides another conflict  this time between the childish sillyness of the good guys and businesslike professionalism of the bad guys  since foley belongs to the former  his character had to watch his language  and the tone of the film in general is more infantile  unfortunately  this film still belongs to action movie genre  and there is too much violence for little children  nice example is the humorous scene in the beginning  which turns into standard ramboesque bloodbath  unlike donner with the lethal weapon series  landis simply cant balance the comedy with  regular  action  and the result is a film that fails in both aspects  action scenes are sometimes interesting  but not too spectacular  at the end  scenery of wonderland is more fascinating than the action itself   humour  on the other hand  falls flat  to make even worse  some minor characters from 1984 film gets unnecessary and sometimes irritating overexposure  especially art expert turned into arms dealer  played by bronson pinchot   in the end  although the film provided some entertainment  viewers  at least critical ones  would probably be happy to know that there arent any plans for beverly hills iv  
neg	i have never been so confused after watching a movie   meet joe black  is probably one of the most visually satisfying films of this year  with a cinematography  music and cast that will dazzle most of us  at the same time it is probably the most boring and ridiculous experience hat you will have this season  at first you marvel at the elegant direction  graceful cinematography and sensual musical score  then youll wait for something to happen for half an hour  but when you finally understand whats going on  youll wonder what are actors such as anthony hopkins  brad pitt and claire forlani are doing in a film like this  the script is simply a silly and unresolved story  which is artificially stretched into a three hour long motion picture  it feels like an eternity  most of the time it is a pompous soap opera  filled with empty dialogue that the actors deliver in a high pitched voice and  meaningful  winks  the film is based on alberto caesellas play  death takes a holiday   the story concentrates around bill  anthony hopkins  who lives a fulfilled life as a successful business man  but sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and hears a voice that is saying  yes   soon he meets a young elegant gentlemen  brad pitt  who introduces himself as  death   it is bills time  but death has other plans  it has come down to us simple mortals to find out what it means to be alive  our bill is chosen to be deaths guide and in exchange he gets time  bill introduces death as joe black  who immediately becomes the center of everyones attention  bills business partners speculate about why joe is constantly at bills side  lives in his house and resides at his office  that is not all  however  bills youngest daughter susan  claire forlani  falls in love with the mysterious stranger and joe falls in love with her  this relationship is bound to have some serious consequences  it wouldnt be fair to say that this film didnt have some interesting moments  such as the scene where joe is invited to join bills family for dinner  when joe starts enjoying peanut butter and later falls in love  the experience is somewhat different  it is obvious that a story like this story is very difficult to structure  its one thing to say   wouldnt it be fun to have death take human form and come down to earth    to create a motion picture out of this is another  four screenwriters have worked on a script that lacks drive and logic  it is overlong and too primitive to pass as a serious film  on the other hand it demonstrates incredible performances and a very decent direction by martin brest   scent of a woman    hopkins looks great in any role  and no matter how shallow or hollow it is  he will complete it  his talent and charisma are needed here more than any where else  since it actually saves the film from a complete embarrassment  but pitt is the one that got one of the most difficult roles of recent time  how can you play death in human form  to me it seems that death and life are not something that can be associated with earthly matters  they are not creatures  but phenomenas  saying that death takes human form would be the same as to suggest that eternity would take human form  handling such a ridiculous task is incredibly difficult and pitt deserves some credit for his work  speaking in a calm  soft voice  portraying death as a lonely  distant and powerful guy that is unfamiliar with practical earthly matters  he looks and acts more like an angel of death  rather than a demon or a redeyed executioner  claire forlani and others are also fine  stretching their stereotypical characters to their limits  unfortunately their performances are not enough to rescue this film from its self inflicted misery  in other words this is not what i expected from the director of  scent of a woman   it could  and should  be better with such cast and crew  in the end it seems as if they have all been intensively working on a ravishingly looking soap opera  
neg	this is crap  but  honestly  what older american audience is going to be able to resist seeing jack lemmon and james garner as bicker ing expresidents  especially when their supporting players in clude dan aykroyd as the current commander in chief  lauren bacall as a former first lady  and john heard as the dan quayleish vice president  yup  youre talkin presold property here and  for warner brothers  the perfect fit into their nowritual grumpy old men holiday slot  for the nondiscriminating viewer  my fellow americans is fine  the raw star power alone will have audiences applauding this atrocious political thriller roadcomedy   they did in mine  heaven help us   for the rest of us  the movie is immediately tiresome  the tone is terrible and the banter is worse  forget wit lemmon and garner merely exchange profanities through most of the movie   has anyone counted the number of first penis references   sure  some of the bits are absurdly funny  including a mens room macarena joke  the appearance of an elvis impersonator on a trainload of tarheels  and an all dorothy marching band performing  over the rainbow  at a gay mens march  the get there from here  though  you have to submit to one of the most offensively overbearing musical scores of all time  judas priest  is there a single moment of silence in this film  even the dialogue gets drowned out  what a waste  
neg	keep cool  a chinese film directed by semiaccomplished filmmaker yimou zhang  was one of the kickoff films for this years hawaii international film festival  on the day it premiered  lines of eager moviegoers stretched around the block  some anticipants having queued up well in advance to get a good seat in the theater  they need not have wasted their time  the movie is billed as a comedy  but is surprisingly bereft of humor  there are noticeable attempts at laughs  but very few tries actually click  i wondered if there were jokes that i wasnt getting because im not from china  but unfortunately my conclusion was that this lack of humor couldnt be attributed to the cultural barrier either  keep cool just isnt very funny  the prelude to the film was a visit by keep cools producer who  with the help of an interpreter  regaled us of how in order to get the print to the festival in time  an assistant hand carried it on the plane from china to hawaii  although the print made it  the assistants luggage was lost  too bad that story wasnt in the movie  because it got a big laugh  qu ying  the films female lead  was also on hand to give a few comments  however  whereas the producer politely made regular pauses in his dialog so the interpreter could bring us up to speed  ms  ying saw fit to say everything she had to say in one  fastpaced  incredibly long tirade  it was dizzying  good foreshadowing for the film  you see  keep cool is filmed almost totally with a camera handheld by a man with a bad case of the shakes  at least thats the way it seems  since the camera is constantly moving  cinema verite is one thing  but panning and shaking around until your audience has a headache is another  although some might consider it a form which helps give the viewer an idea of the anarchic state into which chinese youth is slowly growing  i found it thoroughly distracting  and after a while  quite annoying  headache  as i said  the film is about a young bookseller  wen jiang  who is after a young woman  qu ying   they used to be romantically involved  but the woman grew tired of him and left the relationship  the first half of the film is about the young mans plan to win her back  of course the thing is  she doesnt want to be won back  and has a nightclub owner friend of hers rough him up a bit  in the fight  the young man grabs a laptop computer belonging to a bystander and attempts to use it to fend off his attacker  but only ends up smashing it against a lamppost  we later find out that the laptop belongs to an older man who wishes to get his damaged computer replaced  there is a funny scene  the only one in the film  where the young man tries to use some twisted logic in order to get the older man to seek out the nightclub owner  baotian li  in order to recoup his losses  there is no sense to be made out of the young womans behavior  cold one minute  caring the next  so we feel no sympathy for her character  the bookseller would be better off without her  although the second half of the film causes us to lose a lot of sympathy for the young bookseller as well  who is obsessed with chopping off the nightclub owners hand as revenge for the beating he took  it also offers us some nice interaction between the bookseller and the older man  while the bookseller is blinded by his thirst for revenge  the older man is the voice of reason and tries to rationalize each situation  his quest to end the dispute peacefully and equitably is the one we identify with  but it is frustrating to see that he seems to be talking to a brick wall half the time  a friendship develops between the two men  but it occurs too late in the film for the audience to appreciate  although only an hour and a half in length  keep cool contains extraneous material  the whole plot of how the bookseller is after the young woman could have been taken out  since we dont see her from the midpoint on  a case of mistaken identity or some other device could have served as the point of conflict between the bookseller and the nightclub owner  and would have saved us from the booksellers boring pursuit during the first half  but of course  this would have shortened the movie to less than an hour  there are a few things that keep cool does right  as mentioned before  the interaction between the bookseller and the older man is generally pretty good  although it grows tiresome  the reasoning with the unreasonable is a nice exercise in logic  and represents the differences in thinking between generations  in one scene  for example  the bookseller quotes confucius to get his point across  but the older man claims the quote was misinterpreted  and that it means something entirely different  also effective is the way zhang sets up tension within a scene  such as when the bookseller is getting ready to cut off the hand of the unwitting nightclub owner  the nightclub owner is counting out money  slapping each bundle of currency on the table  with every shot of his hand  we can hardly stand the interminable wait before the bookseller is going to pull out his cleaver and exact his revenge  unfortunately  these crumbs are not enough to overcome the rest of the films shortcomings  and werent enough to prevent that headache from lingering after i left the theater  
neg	although i had not been a viewer of the  rugrats  television series  i went into their first animated feature film   the rugrats movie   with a positive attitude  the trailer looked cute enough  after all  after seeing it  i think the words in my recent  antz  review  in which i stated that it was the worst film of its type since 1995s  the pebble and the penguin   were a bit premature   the rugrats movie   is bottomofthebarrel childrens fare at its worst  and starts to make   antz  look good in comparison  as in the show   the rugrats movie   is about a group of very little friends  ranging from babies to a threeyearold  the head of the group  tommy pickles  e  g  daily   becomes distraught when his mother has a newborn baby named dill  get it  dill pickles     hardeeharhar   and is informed by his threeyearold cousin  anjelica  cheryl chase   that the new babies always take all of the attention away from the other children  when the other children  chuckie  and twins lil and phil  suggest taking dill back to the hospital  tommy goes along with it  but on their way there  they crash in the forest  and become lost  running into wolves and circus monkeys  among other things   the rugrats movie   judging from the idea of being lost in the woods  could have been a potentially fun family film  and there were many different things that could have been done with the story  so what did the writers choose to do  why  they set up a protracted  cliched scene where the children almost go over a waterfall  of course  for the youngest of children  ages 37    the rugrats movie   may very well entertain them  judging from the audience i saw this with  of course  if you looked around at all of the older kids and their parents  they were all desperately struggling to stay awake  and that included me  for an adult   the rugrats movie   is a piece of garbage  the plotline is unoriginal and the writing has absolutely no wit or charm  there isnt one laugh to be had in the film  nor is there any excitement  if anything is even marginally good in the picture  it is the bright animation style  so it is especially unfortunate that it wasnt to service a more quality film   the rugrats movie  is doa from the start  i am all for a worthwhile family movie  but sometimes an animated film comes along that is simply awful  as said before  young children may like it  but even they deserve better than this  for adults  it is a nearly unbearable  excruciating chore to sit through  as for me   the rugrats movie   is not the worst of the year  nor is it the most deeply hated  but it is the most boring  parents  do yourselves a favor and take your kids to see the rerelease of   the wizard of oz   that is a picture that contains a great deal of magic and wonder  two things of which   the rugrats movie   is completely missing  
neg	plunkett  macleane is a period piece mired down by modern mtv pretentions  i have nothing against the mtv approach to filmmaking  used properly it can save a movie  see stigmata   but it ruins this one  making a muddled  incoherent mess out of a potentially interesting premise  there are certain genres that just dont go together  the film opens with a sequence that i still dont understand  it involves some sort of prison outbreak  a robbery  and a gem that keeps being eaten  in any case  the caper  whatever it may be  brings together plunkett and macleane  robert carlyle and johnny lee miller  respectively   two happygolucky brits with no way to make a living  they make a pact to steal money from the rich and give it to themselves until they earn enough money to buy a ticket to america  their first heist involves a young debutante named lady rebecca  liv tyler   a woman macleane was especially friendly with at a party just earlier  his decorum when stripping her of her valuables earns our two crooks the name  gentleman highwaymen   lady rebecca also happens to be the niece of the lord chief justice  a glaringly arrogant man nearing the end of his political career  he demands that the robbers be caught and punished immediately  leaving the job in the hands of the devious chance  ken stott  who has a few more things on his mind than catching criminals  meanwhile  macleane falls in love with rebecca infuriating the businesslike plunkett  who doesnt want his plans to be foiled by his partners mindless romantic travails  director jake scott  son of ridley scott  alien  blade runner   has his fathers knack for setting up atmospheric shots but none of his skill in actually moving the camera  most of the action scenes are filmed in such a rapid  jerky way that its impossible to comprehend whats going on  the camerawork is even more nauseating than in the purposefully dizzying the blair witch project due to its lack of fluidity  instead of utilizing panning shots to impress upon us the scope of the events scott uses attentiondeficitdisorder edits  he barely ever holds a shot for more than ten seconds and during the faster scenes it seems more like a couple frames between each cut  the weird  almost defiant lack of dialogue  there are no  no  conversations lasting over  say  20 seconds  undermines character definition and our two protagonists come off as ciphers rather than characters  the love affair between macleane and rebecca is no different  emotionless and unrealistic  when the script calls for macleane to decide between going to america and going to meet his lover  there is no reason for us to believe it would be worth it for him to abandon his goal  he and rebecca barely even speak to each other throughout the film  plunkett and macleane wants desperately to be a triumph of style over substance but since its style  quite frankly  blows  the film has no hope of succeeding on any level  i wanted to appreciate this movie on the basis of its admittedly kinetic pace but i couldnt  it was so kinetic it gave me a headache  
neg	 this review contains spoilers  as with most of her films  director amy heckerlings latest  loser  seesaws between unpleasant and artificial  and is sometimes both at once  when she tackles big issues  such as abortion in fast times at ridgemont high  its impossible to tell whether shes being matteroffact or glib about them  they carry an almost documentary starkness   but whatever the case  she continually refuses to comment politically  such is the sitcom tendency of her work  to jeopardize the innocence of her characters and then hit the reset button  this fear of drama soured me on fast times     look whos talking  clueless  and now loser  in which ms  heckerling also demonstrates  for the first time  zero affinity for the milieu  has anyone  for instance  ever met a girl in the stylistic vein of mena suvaris dora  attired in black thrift  her eye shadow smeared to racoon chic and her bangy red hair barely contained by girlish clips  she accepts the label of goth  but no selfrespecting goth girl ever admitted to digging  as dora does  those geriatric rockers everclear  nor willingly went anywhere with a sixpackwielding fratboy stranger  the mechanics of losers tired old introvertboyfallsforextrovertgirl plot drive its protagonists into cultural nonspecificity  so that they become even less than stereotypes  they become walking wardrobes  smalltown transplant paul  a strangely static jason biggs   our eponymous hero  always wears his woolly hunters cap with flaps covering the ears  and beneath it rests a parted moptop that couldnt scream  shemp   the lame stooge  wig louder  he has three smuglooking roommates  the onedimensional trio is not supposed to be brothers  but they share similar facial features  including and especially mouths   and their fashion sense is incomprehensibly glam  though theyre not overtly transvestites  heckerling seems to be equating flamboyance with villainy  how very cruising of her   the dormies conspire to evict paul and regularly molest women they have drugged  dora ignorantly downs one of their date rape potions  unfortunately  either heckerling or the studio is too cowardly to admit if she was subsequently violated   when paul rescues dora from said narcotic scare  he learns that she is dating their unctuous european lit professor edward alcott  superb greg kinnear   although pauls already in love with dora by this point  as is bound to happen to losers when pretty girls address them by name  he gets altruistic and pretends the flowers he bought her are actually from alcott  shes thrilled  but nevertheless spends a few days at pauls to recuperate  the two bond over emergency kitten surgery and a broadway play   cabaret    and just when pauls got in his head that shes starting to love him back in that nonfriendly way  she decides to become alcotts livein girlfriend  cue precious hommage to the graduate  shots of paul drifting around berkeleyer     aside  simon  garfunkels  parsley  sage  rosemary  thyme  should never have been allowed in another motion picture   heckerling has a lot in common with nora  youve got mail  ephron  the only other prominent chick directing comedies today  in that neither has any use for strongwilled women  men continue to trod on dora until the bitter end  in the final scene  she gives paul a big smooch after he blurts out his feelings in what amounts to a creepy ultimatum   and dora ultimately shrugs off being drugged against her willmere hours after paul hints to her that she was poisoned  shes cheerily redecorating his apartment   heckerling is so laissezfaire about the issue in general that she reserves the comeuppance of the wouldbe rapists for jokey epilogue titles   goth veneer aside  there are an awful lot of girls out there who behave as erratically as dora  and enough angry young dude filmmakers to make movies about them  heckerling misses her shot at having dora transform herself into a role model  and while such arcs may not be heckerlings social responsibility  it is a privilege i would have taken advantage of if i were in her shoes   consider  too  that dora is the films sole female principal   not that loser is worth contemplating this seriouslygod knows heckerling didnt  that is her hallmark    for more firstrun  dvd  and booksaboutmovies reviews  plus contests and the proverbial  more    visit film freak central    http  filmfreakcentral  net   
neg	fantastically over hyped  godzila finally lumbers onto the big screen  the film opens with footage of nuclear testing on the french polynesian islands  then an attack on a boat from some beast  and finally we join dr  nick tatopoulos  broderick looking about 17 years old  doing some research in chernobyl  some shady u  s government guys appear  and ask him to come to an island where they have massive footprints  from what looks like a giant lizard  and whats more  this beast is heading for new york  gulp  although godzilla should be a non stop roller coaster ride  and at some points it is  there is something curiously uninvolving and unexciting about this movie  the main faults lie with the acting and writing  common problems with summer blockbuster movies  broderick is pretty useless as the hero  with no humour or a tough guy image  while emmerichs previous summer flick  independence day  1996  had wisecracks and action from jeff goldblum and will smith  this has neither  also  maria pitillo  as brodericks former girlfriend  is just as useless  with a chronic disability in acting  shes incapable of showing emotion  speaks every line in the same way  and basically shes total crap  its up to french actor jean reno to save the day  and indeed he does  turning in a campy performance as a french secret agent  shame he has such little screen time in such a overlong film  hank azaria also turns up as a crazy cameraman named animal  and he adds a little life to the picture  also making an appearance is harry shearer  probably best know for doing voices in the simpsons  as a slimy news reporter  o  k  so the acting is not up to par  but it never is in these movies  but what about the script  well  thats not up to par either  emmerich and screenwriting pal dean devlin seem so caught in the destruction of new york city that they forgot to write a script  the dialogue is banal  broderick looks at a lot of fish and utters thats a lot of fish     and the character development is non existent  reno plays the typical frenchman  no croissant     broderick forever remains a geeky scientist   also  the film is seriously lacking a sense of humour  the jokes that are uttered are pathetic  and theres an hilarious running gag about siskel and ebert   the mayor is mayor ebert  and is assistant is called gene  ha ha ha ha    the plot is dire  and in the end just rips off jurassic park  1993  by having lots of baby godzillas  i  e  velicorapters  running around new york  right  so the script and acting suck  but what about the special effects  thankfully  theyre are quite good  godzilla is an impressive piece of cgi  although we dont see much of him because the movie is so dark  the destruction of new york is pretty well done aswell  but although they are impressive  they cant save godzilla from being an hugely disappointing and boring movie  the movie goes on for far too long aswell  and it cant seem to decide on a ending  and of course  the ending itself leaves possibility for a sequel  lets just hope one never arrives  
neg	movie concepts are often pitched to producers with mathematical formulas involving successful films of the past  so  undoubtedly one day someone said   evolution   its ghostbusters plus men in black plus tremors    and so it is  sum total none  the alienbusting begins when a meteor lands in glen canyon  arizona  community college science profs ira kane  david duchovny  and harry block  orlando jones  take some samples from the meteor and discover that onecelled organisms from inside it are evolving rapidly  doing in hours what took millions of years for life on earth  just about the time i was wondering   hey  doesnt the government usually come in and take over the whole area in these movies   the government came in and took over the whole area  the leader of the pack  gen  woodman  ted levine   turns out to be an old nemesis of iras  and ira and harry are blocked from doing further research  meanwhile  the organisms continue to grow until they are large enough to start attacking people  by this time  ira and harry have gained a friend in dr  allison reed  julianne moore  of the center for disease control  a country club poolboy  wayne green  seann william scott   has also attached himself to the merry band  but can they find the means to stop the aliens in time  director ivan reitman seems to be revisiting his biggest hit  1984s  ghostbusters   but  evolution  falls miserably short  one reason is readily apparent   ghostbusters  had three really funny guys as its scientists  bill murray  dan aykroyd  and harold ramis   but  evolution  has one really funny guy  orlando jones  who can adlib and milk the comic potential of lines that prove useless in anyone elses hands  for good measure   ghostbusters  had the comic talents of rick moranis   evolution  offers seann william scott  who was much funnier in  american pie  and  road trip  than he is here  scott has one amusing scene where he sings  you are so beautiful to me  to a dragonlike alien to draw it into a trap  other than that  scott seems unable to make much of the thin material the writers gave him  an actor in search of a forte  david duchovny looked for his gritty action hero side in  playing god  and his romantic side in  return to me   now he wants to find his wacky comedic talent  what we all find is that he doesnt have any  look for him to be back on tv in five years or so  another sad case is julianne moore  who needs to be more selective about the offers she accepts  shes a talented actress with an impressive list of credits and award nominations  so why is she trying to do slapstick comedy  her character has a tendency to trip over and bump into things  but the trait comes off as a pathetic plea for laughs  the sole saving grace of the film is jones  hes at the center of the movies funniest scene  where an alien bug invades harrys body and has to be pulled out through his ass  jones is the only cast member who can take the comedic ball and run with it  but he cant carry the whole movie by himself  he found himself in a similar situation in  the replacements   where he was also the only comic talent in an ensemble cast  jones will eventually find the project that will make him a major comedy star  but this isnt it  
neg	well arnold has completed the seemingly impossible task  he has made three consecutive unsatisfactory action films  in a domain that he owns  it is very surprising that this goliath of an action star can not tell a good action script from a bad one  eraser  back in 1996  was a confused film that made no attempt at all to make sense  batman and robin  in 1997  was the black sheep of the batman series with ridiculous acting  idiotic action scenes  and painfully flashy costumes  now in 1999   end of days   not  the end of days   is the third strike in a tough at bat for arnold  is this the end of a powerful action stars longlived career  will arnold ever give us another unforgettable performance in another unforgettable classic like those in the past   terminator    terminator 2  judgement day    predator    or an unforgettable performance in a great guilty pleasure like those in the past   commando    red sonja    true lies    it doesnt look that way   end of days  begins with the birth of a baby girl in 1979 who inexorably  due to the formation of the stars on that night  will be the carrier of satans baby the hour before new years of 2000  fortunately for the movies sake  the girl grows up and now resides in manhattan with skyscrapers  subway trains in dark tunnels  and a myriad of inept nypd officers  its an action films dream come true when the director is given tons of cool stuff to blow up  imagine if the girl had lived in anytown  usa  where the only thing to destroy is a dairy queen and a post office  arnold schwarzenegger  jericho cane   in a series of boring events finds himself in the middle of a religious battle between the church  who is trying to hide the girl  or in some cases trying to kill her   and satan  gabriel byrne  who is trying to make her pregnant  if the devil is successful  the world will no longer exist as we know it  jericho feels it is his duty to protect the girl from everyone because 1  he once had faith but no longer does and 2  his wife and daughter were killed and he feels responsible for it  jericho cane is your cliched  bythenumbers hero right up to his name  arnold fittingly plays the character as cliched as he can  he shouts at everyone  from cops to priests  to the devil  in one truly hilarious scene  which was supposed to be the ultimate dramatic high point  jericho screams to the devil   you are a    choir boy  you are a choir boy   those two lines marked the high points of this film  a movie can still be enjoyable when the supporting cast is more effective than the main actor   end of days  fails to contain any memorable performances with the exception of gabriel byrne  byrne  playing a man who has been made the manifestation of the devil  seems to be the only one who is having fun in this whole movie  he wonderfully plays a manipulative villain with the power to control everyone at any time  the annoying thing about his character  however  is that he has the power to kill any human with a simple punch in the face  yet he finds it impossible to seriously hurt jericho  i can not count the number of times he could have killed jericho and taken the girl from his custody  the other actors in the film give very weak and unconvincing performances  kevin pollak  who plays the partner and close friend of jericho  is the supposedly funny character in the film  every action movie has one   the one problem is that pollak does not deliver one funny line  robin tunney plays the chosen mother of satans baby with extreme annoyance  she gets no sympathy from any of the characters in the film  except arnold who pretends she is his wife and daughter  or any of the viewers in the audience  in one unnecessary scene  tunney walks out of her room and takes her top off  is this her job in the film  the actors are not to blame entirely because the script is terrible  you can tell a script is terrible when you are able to predict what will happen minutes before it does  this little prediction game is a very fun exception to trying to sit through this nonsense of a movie  in a last attempt to make this movie good  special effects are used to try to entertain the audience  but without a memorable action scene in the whole film  the director has not done his job successfully  this film would have gotten a c if arnold stood in front of a camera and shouted  you are a     choir boy    for two hours  
neg	whether or not i would be considered a trekker probably depends on whom you would ask  i have been a fan of both the original series and its recently retired followup  as well as the even numbered entries in the film series  however  i have never been one of those folks who store away trek minutiae and get into debates over the relative merits of spock vs  data  somewhere along the line  the  star trek  film series began to seem more and more directed at those in the latter category  and star trek  generations may be the natural conclusion of this direction  its production values may be high  but the writing is frequently appalling  and instead of a script has a collection of references  injokes and illdefined characters  generations opens in the late 23rd century  where members of the original enterprise crew  including captain james t  kirk  william shatner   are present for the christening of the latest ship to bear that name  no sooner is it out on its maiden voyage than a distress signal brings them to the nexus  a mysterious ribbon of energy  among those rescued from the nexus is longlived alien dr  soran  malcolm mcdowell   but he is nonetoopleased at being back in the real world  seventyeight years later  soran is still trying to get back to the nexus  and again encounters an enterprise  this one led by captain jeanluc picard  patrick stewart   sorans plan involves destroying a star with an inhabited planet  and the only hope for saving 230 million people is the historic meeting of two enterprise captains  i dont think it is an insult to fans of  star trek  to suggest that to a certain extent  the particulars of a plot are not really the most important elements in a  trek  film  its about a chance to visit with old friends  and if they are involved in a truly interesting story it can be considered gravy  but even that interpretation assumes that characterization has to be consistent  and in generations that just doesnt happen  data  brent spiner  is particularly victimized by this sloppy writing  in the films major subplot  data decides to use a chip which will give him human emotions  a chip he has had in his possession for over a year  what is his motivation for taking this drastic and perhaps dangerous step  he doesnt get a joke  once the chip is in place  spiner gets to have a lot of fun with datas new emotions  but the point is that hes no longer the data we know  if the rest of the  next generation  cast fares any better  its only because theyre on the screen so little that theyre simply window dressing  but then again  this story isnt really about the new crew  its about kirk and picard  the cowboy and the politician  sharing the screen  the huge surprise is that william shatner blows patrick stewart away  perhaps because he knows this is his last goround in the part that made him a legend  shatner looks like hes having the time of his life  stewart  on the other hand  borders on the deferrential  and is saddled with the same lackluster motivations as everyone else in the cast  stewarts edginess is indicative of what may be a very bad sign for paramounts hopes to turn the new cast into the same kind of franchise the original cast was  these are clearly the not ready for big screen players  by contrast  the prologue which features scotty  james doohan  and chekhov  walter koenig  is the highlight of the film  these characters have become part of the popular mythology  and when they take over the enterprise in a moment of distress  its a moment of high energy  only thirty years of history can create a moment like that  and thats time this new crew doesnt have  it certainly doesnt help that the plot they are stuck in is so convoluted and badly constructed that you need to leave a trail of bread crumbs to find your way out again  its also loaded with little gags all aimed at those who are familiar enough with the series to turn to all their friends in a shared nudge of recognition  i wonder whether anyone who is coming in cold to the  trek  universe at this point would be anything but baffled and bored by what is going on  and what a waste of malcolm mcdowell  who could have been a great monomanical villain but should have been given a much more compelling reason for his obsession  there are plenty of details both scientific and of continuity to pick at  but to do so would be to ignore generations major flaws  however  i would like to make one recommendation  seatbelts  not just for the enterprise crew  although youd think by the 24th century space travel wouldnt involve rolling around on the floor during a battle  no  i think the audience might need them more  this journey is one bumpy ride  
neg	they should have stuck to the promise emblazoned on the original movies poster   no sequel   scary movie 2 is nowhere near as funny as its predecessor  and it is not because the wayans brothers  shawn and marlon doing the writing and keenen ivory behind the camera  dont try  what defeats them is the genre they have chosen to spoof  the first movie  an outrageous  lowbrow  savage satire of teen slasher flicks such as scream and i know what you did last summer  succeeded because of its takenoprisoners attitude toward a type of film that was in vogue  familiar and popular  in scary movie 2  the filmmakers take on the haunted houseghost story format which  if you look at the grosses for such recent lame offerings as the respective remakes of the haunting and house on haunted hill  did not draw audiences nor enter the cultural psyche as did the various teen slasher series  scary movie 2 does start off promising with a wonderful spoof of the exorcist  featuring james wood in the max von sydow role and veronica cartwright lampooning ellen burstyn  of course split pea soup is the punch line  an overabundant amount  which offers the hope that the rest of the movie will be just as tasteless and excessive  but this precredit sequence has nothing at all to do with the main action  which features the cast members from the original signing up to spend a weekend at a creepy haunted mansion as part of a university class project  some of the jokes are as scatological and offensive as in the original  but they lack that takenoprisoners bite that raised scary movie to the heights of burlesque  scary movie 2 merely lurches from one lame sendup to another  offering weak spoofs of that nike shoe ad in which everyone does acrobatics with a basketball  and the films what lies beneath and hannibal  features that only faired adequately at the box office   john woos mission  impossible 2 and charlies angels  it is as if the wayans and their team of writers  at least seven are credited  just threw ideas in a blender and hoped theyd coalesce  they dont  while the pace of the original left you breathless  the sequel moves with the speed of an 18wheeler carrying two tons of concrete up a steep mountain road  you can almost hear the reels panting  scary movie 2 tries very hard to live up to its original  but it falls very short  its a dissatisfying spectacle  a very weak sister of a very good movie  the really scary aspect of this sequel is how disappointing it really is  
neg	vikings v  bears  no  this isnt the lineup for monday night football  rather  these are the two opposing forces that will battle to the death in  the 13th warrior   a film that is as dramatically flat as it is gratuitously gory  based on michael crichtons book  eaters of the dead  this viking saga tries to evoke the mysticism of fabled norsemen and the glorious battles that they fought  their strength and honor would eventually etch their place in history among the greatest warriors that ever picked up a sword  luckily for the vikings  however  their warring abilities were not as clumsy as this film  antonio bandaras is ahmed  a travelling ambassador  accompanied by his friend  omar shariff in a cameo   they eventually come across a small viking village  we see that the vikings are an extremely proud group whose greatest strength is their fortitude  they laugh heartily  revel in their arrogance  and sing songs of battles won  but their festivities are about to be halted when a messenger boy arrives to tell the village leader that a great evil is threatening their land  help is needed quickly  an elderly  fortunetelling witch arrives  after a brief incantation  she proclaims that 12 warriors and one more  not of norse blood  are needed to ensure victory  personally  i always wonder why people believe these oracles when they look so haggardly and on the brink of insanity  nonetheless  12 men eagerly accept their place while ahmed becomes the pivotal 13th  the group then sets out to do the greatest battle of their lives  of course during their ride  ahmed becomes the target of fun for the other 12 burly viking warriors  but he ably shows that its not the size of the dog in the fight but rather the size of the fight in the dog  he is able to overcome the proud arrogance of the vikings  but will his skills  and that of the group  be enough to defeat whatever evil is menacing the countryside  it does not look promising  these creatures  resembling bears  are strong and have high morale  they are fearless and display a desire for decapitating the heads of their enemies  they attack by the hundreds and the next strike will come soon  the warriors prepare their defenses and pray to their gods  they are ready to sacrifice their lives   this is a good way to die   says one of the fallen warriors  despite the largerthanlife battle sequences  i was unmoved by the entire experience  at many points  i was even confused  for example  somewhere in the middle of the film  a subplot creeps up involving the prince of the threatened land  he seems to have an agenda to elevate himself to greater power during this crisis  however  the subplot never fully materializes  and we are left scratching our heads as to the purpose of its inclusion  there are other questions that i had  but the real problem was that the story  little of it that there was  offered no characters to love or hate  the leader of the viking warriors had the most charisma  however  banderass role is completely underwritten and it is unclear why being the 13th warrior makes him so special  an entire rewrite of the ahmed character is in order  also  much of the action takes place during torrential downpours or at night  which made battles very difficult to follow  i would have preferred more time looking at the viking culture and how their beliefs shaped their decision to do battle against the enemy  as it stands  the film manages more confusion than intensity  it would make thor cry  
neg	apparently  when crap calls  jim carrey answers  here he is  mugging it up in countless unfunny ways for the fifth time  his second goaround in the role of pet detective ace ventura  that means more talking asscracks  penis jokes and cries of  alllllllllllrighty then   it all adds up to a sequel that makes the original resemble schindlers list in terms of dramatic merit  or lack of  granted  there are a few laughs amid the constant barrage of preschool humor  but anyone who appreciates good comedy will bang their head against the wall ten times for every minor chuckle  its a painful experience for anyone with a brain  ace is distraught after accidentally dropping a racoon into a canyon  in a parody of the opening scene of sylvester stallones cliffhanger  jim carrey being the only person who can make stallone look like a college professor in terms of intellect  or lack of  and decides to retire to the mountains of tibet to gain a higher level of consciousness  or  in his case  a level of consciousness   but he is pulled out of retirement to the tune of 20  000 to retrieve a sacred white bat for an african tribe  why africa  so carrey can disguise himself nude inside a fake rhino and later climb out the rear end as a tourist family watches   look  the rhinos about to give birth     if that seems like heehaw humor to you  by all means  see the movie  if not  claim your place in human civilization with the rest of us  obviously  there are quite a few nonmembers of civilization who made this movie  like the first ace ventura film  i use the word  film  only because it was filmed  not because theres any level of artistic merit    a huge success  in fact  carrey only has a career because of the decline of intelligence in our culture  you may say to me   but andrew  look at jerry lewis  he was born with a negative i  q  and look how popular he was thirty years ago   maybe  but i still say jerry lewis is a notch or two up on the comedic ladder because he never actually did an impression in a movie of a rabid bulldog biting off a mans testicles    lewis at least had the dignity to save that performance for when company came over  
neg	one of my favorite songs by the stranglers includes the lyric   youd better watch out for the skin deep   id like to extend the same warning  watch out for skin deep  but whatever you do dont watch skin deep  skin deep is a tedious and uneven comedy written and directed by blake edwards  john ritter stars as zach  a dried up writer and insatiable womanizer with a bigtime drinking problem  i never saw edwards comedy the man who loved women  but i have to wonder whether skin deep is a remake  you see  to put it mildly  zach goes to bed with just about each and every woman he meets  as the movie opens  zachs wife  alex  catches him with not only his mistress but also his mistress hairdresser  like any sensible wife  alex kicks zach out of the house and divorces him  in response  zach goes on a spiritual journey of drinking  womanizing  psychotherapy  and selfdiscovery  if youre turned on by the idea of watching ritter drink  get arrested  have sex  drink  crash his mercedes  have more sex  drink  get arrested again  drink  and sing horrendously at the piano  then skin deep should be right up your alley  skin deep makes the fatal mistake of inflicting on us unbelievable and unsympathetic characters  zach is a rich  80s l  a  version of ritters jack tripper character from  threes company   like jack  zach is clumsy and inept  hes the type of guy whose bad aim makes him accidently squirt breath freshener into his eye  zach is supposed to be charming and charismatic  but i failed to see even one redeeming virtue in him  consequently  i never felt the least bit of sympathy or pity for the philandering alcoholic during his moments of crisis  in fact  when zach crashes his exwifes wedding in a desperate attempt to stop her from remarrying  i actually rooted for her to go through with the ceremony  to add insult to injury  edwards gives his large supporting cast nothing but stereotypes with which to work  for instance  vincent gardenias talents are wasted in his role as the fatherly bartender  of all the women in the filmand there are manyalyson reed  alone  stands out as zachs wife  reed brings intelligence and sensitivity to the role  because we dont care the slightest bit about anyone in skin deep  the films few feeble attempts at drama inevitably fail  the comedy in skin deep doesnt fare much better  most of the jokes are dumb  predictable  and sitcomish  about every ten minutes  however  edwards does manage to come up with a good line or a novel sightgag  the most effective of which involves a pair of  dueling  condoms  overall  the laughs in skin deep are just too infrequent and the characters just too shallow for the film to stay afloat  my final criticism of the film lies in its glamorous depiction of alcohol and alcoholism  zachs excessive drinking is clearly ruining his life  but nevertheless it seems to give him more pleasure than pain  zachs drinking binges never have any truly serious or lasting consequences  if he crashes his mercedes  he gets a new one  if he gets arrested  his lawyer bails him out of jail  if his wife leaves him  she will eventually decide to give him a second chance if hell clean up his act  the tone in skin deep is all wrong  edwards treats a very serious issue far too lightly  making a joke out of a problem that is no joking matter  perhaps edwards should have studied dudley moore in arthur or  better yet  michael keaton in clean and sober before making skin deep  
neg	this movie about two dysfunctional families never really gets off the ground  despite some good performances from a basically competent cast  eddie  sean penn  and maureen  robin wright penn  are a notsohappily married couple down on their luck  living in rented rooms in the seedier part of an unnamed city  they spend what little income they have at the local bar  owned by shorty  stanton   eddies best friend  and his wife georgie  mazar   maureen and eddie share an odd relationship marked by eddies frequent disappearances  on his return  he promises her the world and professes his undying love  their manic reunions all too soon lead to new lows  as eddie disappears again  like a junky craving the next high  maureen suffers through the lows to reach the next high  their relationship is further complicated by maureens pregnancy  she wants the baby and the father  but deep down seems to sense the inevitability of losing the latter  during one of eddies absences  maureen is attacked by kiefer  her neighbor  who gets her drunk  with her cooperation  and then insists on intimacy  she leaves badly bruised and in fear of what eddie might do  not to her  but to kiefer  she lies about what happens to ensure that no harm will come to eddie as the result of his inevitable rage  he lashes out as she expects  and ends up in an institution for what he believes to be 3 months  but in reality is 10 years  during this decade  maureen divorces eddie and remarries a more solid and reliable individual  joey  travolta  in a small role   her life falls apart again when eddie is released from the institution and comes to find her  joey insists on bringing eddie into his home and making his wife choose between her husband  and father of two children  and stability  joey makes a good living  drives a cadillac  and they live in a large house in the suburbs  and the love of her previous life  she chooses her past  and sacrifices not only her new life but her old  by giving up her and eddies daughter to joey   but the eddie that she knew is gone  replaced by a mere shell of the man he was  maureen is herself a mere shell  more an automaton than a woman  as if she had gone through whatever therapy and treatment eddie was given along with him  perhaps these two really do need each other and can find happiness  or maybe the lack of sadness  together  but the movies denouement was not convincing  
neg	michael richards leaves his spot as kramer on the infamous seinfeld tv sitcom for a stint as a lanky  goofy best friend to jeff daniels lawyer character in this illfated  and unfunny   comedy   plot  richard the actor  richards  has to take the place of charles the lawyer  daniels  in a real court case  after charles is left unintelligible from a night of heavy drinking at his bachelor party  the film follows the antics of the two men as they try to get away with their tomfoolery  critique  this movie did not make me laugh once  perhaps it was because i was tired when i watched it  perhaps  perhaps it was because i had seen richards perform most of the same schtick a thousand times on seinfeld  perhaps  perhaps it was because the movie just wasnt funny  absolutely  the lack of humour wasnt the only issue that i had with this film either  the movie attempts to weave a couple of love stories through its vision  but unfortunately  they are also lacking in conviction  believability and credibility  they are contrived and appear to be placed into the story for convenience sake  the actors were all adequate enough in their roles  but the problem didnt lie in the acting  i wish i could find one good reason for you to see this waste of time  but i cant  unless of course  you need something playing on your tv set while you waste some time around the house  overall  this movie stinks  on the good side  charlize theron is darn cute  and the movie is no longer then 90 minutes  on the bad side  this movie is not funny  interesting or enjoyable in any which way possible  a person wouldnt even enjoy his nachos while watching this emptiness  please skip it  little known facts  jonathan lynn earned a degree in law from cambridge before becoming an actordirector  charlize theron grew up on a farm outside benoni  south africa  as the only child  at the age of 18 her mother made her go to los angeles to try a career in the movie industry  she came to la without knowing anyone in the city but after two weeks when she was standing in line on hollywood boulevard an agent gave her his card  after eight months in la she got her first part  since then she has taken acting lessons and her career has skyrocketed  specifically in devils advocate  810   charlize was narrowly beat out by elizabeth berkley for the lead role in the  movie   showgirls  she was quoted as saying  it was like i had some guardian angel   
neg	jackie chan kicks his way into van damme territory with twin dragons  an embarrassingly bland action comedy of mistaken identities  chan plays separatedatbirths boomer and john ma  whose drastically different paths    aw  forget the plot description  its not even worth the space  but lets face it  no one goes to jackie chan movies for the plot anyway  the scenes where nothing happens in chans films have always been little more than glue thriftily spread to hold the action sequences together  in the case of twin dragons  however  the tiresome plotdriving scenes fritter away so much of the movie that you almost want to shout  at the risk of demeaning the artistic value of cinema    get to the good part already   most of the film is devoted to showing the brothers efforts to hide the others existence from their own acquaintances  why it is necessary to do this is not satisfactorily explained  but neither are a lot of aspects of the plot  the twins love interests  demure clubsinger barbara  chanfilm regular maggie cheung  and lusty bridehopeful tammy  nina li chi   get disoriented in all the brouhaha  yet strangely seem not to mind that they are not sure which brother they are in love with  the scenes describing the boys bumbling antics get stretched so thin we stop caring who chan is supposed to be in any given shot  in several shots  in fact  even the makeup and hair people seem to forget which brother is which    even chans socornyitsfunny humor is offkilter in this outing  some of the gags are so carefully innocuous theyre annoying  a case in point  whenever anyone sees the brothers together  they fall to the ground in a dead faint  are we laughing yet  as usual  the final showdown is the films jewel  a tour de force display of chan s agility and grace  never mind that its not clear how the brothers end up fighting suited bad guys inside an automobile crashtesting facility  its all good fun  but too little too late  perhaps chans next movie should just be a collection of the last fight sequences of all of his movies  they could call it jackie chans the final fight scenes  and everybody would go home happy  reviewed april 14  1999 at loews theaters white marsh  white marsh  md  
neg	the generals daughter will probably be the cleverest stupid film well see this year  or perhaps the stupidest clever film  its confusing to a critic when so much knuckleheaded plotting and ostentatious direction shares the screen with so much snappy dialogue and crisp character interaction  that  however  is what happens when legendary screenwriter william goldman takes a pass at an otherwise brutally predictable conspiracy thriller  the punchedup punch lines are ever on the verge of convincing you the generals daughter has a brain in its head  even as the remaining 75 of the narrative punches you in the face with its lack of common sense  our hero is warrant officer paul brenner  a brash investigator for the u  s  armys criminal investigation division  his latest case is the murder of captain elisabeth campbell  leslie stefanson  at a georgia base  the victim found tied to the ground after an apparent sexual assault and strangulation  complicating the case is the fact that capt  campbell is the daughter of general joe campbell  james cromwell   a war hero and potential vicepresidential nominee  general campbell wants to keep the case out of the press  which gives brenner only the 36 hours before the fbi steps in  teamed with rape investigator sarah sunhill  madeleine stowe   who  coincidentally enough  once had a romantic relationship with brenner  brenner begins uncovering dark secrets from the late captains past that make the case ever more sordid  if only the sordidness were the worst of the generals daughters problems  scenes of sexual degredation do linger much longer than necessary  their negligible dramatic value overwhelmed by filteredlight sleaze  director simon west likely thinks hes covered himself by juxtaposing these images of violence with sweet flowers  but all he does is prove himself dependent on visual cliches  which is the films fatal flaw  its a trend he continues for two hours  taking the storys few virtues and slapping a coat of moronproof obviousness over them  characters who may  wink wink  turn out to be villains are photographed in ominous shadow  cutaway inserts of the captain campbells stillliving face after the corpse is uncovered insure against fiveminute attention spans  west just cant help himself from overdirecting every minute of the generals daughter  he even turns a scene of footage shown on cnn into an excuse for slowfade edits  bubbling up from this overcooked stew are enough tasty lines to distract you from its smell  the slickest scene finds brenner squaring off with captain campbells mentor  a psychological warfare expert named moore  james woods   theres something invigorating about watching two smart actors playing smart characters firing honesty at one another  indeed  travolta gets to sink his teeth into dozens of choice lines based on his delight at provoking authority figures  to the local sheriff of the georgia county   shouldnt you be out nightsticking the colored folk     even the lame device of brenner and sunhills sexual history provides a few winning zingers  goldmans dialogue can serve up a bigger laugh than youll find in most socalled comedies  dialogue  unfortunately  just isnt enough to make a quality script  its difficult to take a movie about a criminal investigation seriously when the investigators are both too stupid to solve it sooner  an idiotic inability to recognize the nature of the crime scene  and too lucky for it to last any longer  not one but two occasions where brenner catches a vital piece of evidence out of the corner of his eye   by the time the generals daughter wanders towards its overwrought  psychointherain finale  wests heavy hand has obliterated most of what made the film occasionally fun  its silly and pretentious filmmaking  but at least it provides a giggle or five  goldman should tear the 15 decent pages out of this script and turn them into a standup routine  
neg	cradle will rock is the latest effort from directoractor tim robbins  while he may have had an oscar worthy film back in 1995  dead man walking   he gets a little overconfident and sloppy here  the story is confusing  and filled with many subplots  so ill try my best and explain it as simply as possible  the film is based on a  mostly  true story about a federal theater in the 1930s  that produced a play  the cradle will rock  that apparently was offensive to some  so the government shuts it down  its during the time of the depression  and all this theater wants to do is entertain and cheer up those who do not have jobs  or are poor  between this conflict lies what seems like 10 subplots  about those who work in theater  or those associated  also along the way are some other messages mashed together to create an even more overwhelming experience  tim robbins just keeps piling on political views  and characters  that we just give up on the film  or in some cases walk out  for robbins it may be a nice achievement  but to me it seemed more like a friendly get together with slightly more sophisticated dialogue  and fancy outfits  i thought the main reason for seeing the film would be for the outstanding cast  unfortunately are all uninteresting  except for a few  let me recap what each important character does  so please bear with me  its the least you can do  especially if you were considering seeing this   ill begin with those involved with the play  theres orson welles  angus macfadyen  who of course is the director of the play  the producer john houseman  cary elwes   marc blitzstein  hank azaria  the writer of the play  emily watson  a woman who gets her break by playing the main part in cradle will rock  outside the play theres the  ventriloquist  bill murray  who wants a relationship with a federal theater clerk  joan cusack   another subplot involving a painter diego rivera  ruben blades  whos unhappy that his painting is too be destroyed by nelson rockefeller because he feels it to be an outrage  john cusack   theres a few other actresses and actors who have their own stories  susan sarandon  philip baker hall too name a few  but those that i mentioned  were the most significant to the story  anyway  most of these talented hollywood stars were completely wasted  except for emily watson  who does another great job  and one of my personal favorite actors john cusack  who always delivers through thick and thin  now although most of the film was weak to say the least  there were some nice moments and some involving subjects  but all this is overblown  sure the free speech segment was a nice feature  but not when it becomes repetitive  the whole film is like this  and its basically nothing but a headache  on the brighter side  tim robbins direction was masterful  his camera direction seemed reminiscent to the works of paul thomas andersons latest magnolia  only smoother in my opinion  but even that cant make a movie that much better  although it has its moments  not many of them  but theyre there   cradle will rock stays true to its title  because the cradle rocked too far and tipped over  
neg	disillusioned and trying to find the spice of life  richard  leonardo dicaprio  sets off for thailand  there he a meets crazed man by the name of daffy  robert carlyle  who gives him a map to a beach  a secret utopia  then commits suicide  richard sets off for this beach with his neighbors from this hotel   tienne  guillaume canet  and fran  oise  virginie ledoyen   once they get there the three discover a secret society existing on this beach  there richard falls for fran  oise  this covers about half to two thirds of the movie and aside from the romantic element  which is solely a creation of hollywood  seems to hold to the original novel  the cinematography and general beauty of this part of the movie is breathtaking  i dont think anyone can argue that this movie is visually stunning  but that is were many things go wrong  darius khondji has totally outdone himself in doing the cinematography  though the script and the interpretation of the novel are quite lacking  the plot of the movie moves along at a decent pace for about half of the movie or there abouts  this is where the movie has some great potential  then the three travelers get the island and there is a turn for the better  yes folks i said better  now up to about two thirds of this movie its actually pretty good  nothing spectacular aside from the cinematography but it still has promise  this is where things start to degenerate to something that becomes almost unwatchable  there is even a video game style sequence that borders on the disgusting  it doesnt make sense for the movie and just looks dumb in my opinion  and i am hoping many other peoples   i am hoping that in my little rant ive made it abundantly clear that the movie is lacking quite seriously in plot and uneven pacing  so if you go see it and you dont like it because of this dont blame me  the character development was not up to par either  i found the character of richard to be nothing more than a spoiled child  although there is a feeble attempt to make this whole story profound it fails and richard  leos character  comes off as a wannabe philosopher  the character seems to be underdeveloped from the get go and seems to just do things for no apparent reason  granted some people are like this  myself included  but i nor anyone i know that is fairly random would ever do things of the sort this character does  the next point is that some of the really interesting characters are simply not developed enough  richard is obviously obsessed by fran  oise at the early stages of the story  yet there is actually very little development along this story line  this i am sure contributes to the movies lack of core plot and being unfocused  now  i shall move onto something a little better about the movie  for all you cynics out there the movie did have a few good things about it   the cast and acting was passable at the very least  and i think that leonardo dicaprio actually did pretty well in the role of richard  mind you i think the rest of the cast that had some which had reasonably sized roles did equally well if not better  which begs the question why is leonardo paid so much   i think this is a topic all on its own so i wont get into it   but i like the fact that there was an international cast used  had only and american cast been used i can see this movie being horrible  the international flavor added a more global feel to the movie that made it that much more bearable  not to mention the movie is set in thailand and a global cast makes more sense  when all is said and done i liked the movie for the most part but the gaping inadequacies of the plot are unforgivable  i would not recommend this movie to anyone  the fact that i liked it has a lot to do with the cinematography and the sheer beauty of the movie not its plot or story  as it is the story tries to be much too philosophical and fails at its attempt  if you do end up going to see this movie be forewarned about its shortcomings  
neg	kate  jennifer aniston  is having some problems  it appears the twentyeight year old is not happy with her slow progression up the company ladder  and her love life apparently leaves something to be desired  she learns that her problems are related  as the owner of her advertising agency  mr  mercer  kevin dunn   explains to her that her single status does not bode well with the company  her freedom would make her more likely to leave the company  taking clients with her  a solution presents itself in nick  jay mohr   a wedding videographer who kate meets through a coincidence and gets photographed with  kates boss  darcy  illeana douglas   uses the photograph to fabricate a wedding engagement between kate and nick  kate is at first repulsed by the idea  but after getting immediate positive results  she pursues it  her first task is to convince nick to go along with her plan  the actual plan consists of nick pretending to be her fianc   at a dinner with kates bosses he will provoke a fight and they will break up  she meets nick to propose the plan  he accepts  kates new status brings unexpected results in other areas  the office bad boy  sam  kevin bacon   who wouldnt give kate the time of day  now does  now that she is engaged  he pursues an affair with her  as doing so would destroy her good girl image  hence sams sudden interest  things start to fall apart for kate  as it becomes apparent that nick really likes her  and does not wish to break up with her  after some provoking nick does oblige  but problems continue for kate  it appears sam is no longer interested now that she is available  or maybe kate does like nick  but  reconciliation  will force her to admit her lies to her employer  adding to her mess is the constant prying of her mother  olympia dukakis   who wants her to get married and settle down  there is a scene in this movie where jennifer aniston is  from the waist up  only wearing a bra  it made me chuckle because it is the only time in the movie when she actually wears one  there is enough cleavage in this movie to satisfy russ meyer  its like the director said well  we know the story is formulaic and the performances arent that great so  what the heck  lets show jennifers assets as often and as uncovered as humanly possible to keep the pg rating   quite frankly its insulting  i dont think aniston is a competent enough actress to carry a movie  she did a decent enough job in ed burns  shes the one  because it was a smaller and supporting role  and she just doesnt deliver the goods effectively in this movie  her performance was not convincing  unfortunately  as far as romantic comedies go  this movie adds nothing new to the standard formula for these types of movies  the film is similar to  my best friends wedding  in a sense that the leading female character is actually quite vindictive and due her actions  gets no sympathy from me when things go awry  i didnt care for how quickly kate puts down nicks profession by explaining that videotaping weddings wasnt glamorous enough for her coworkers  at least  my best friends wedding  changed the formula a bit and had a somewhat surprise ending  no such luck with  picture perfect   every plot occurrence can be spotted a mile away  including a couple that really made no sense  after everything kate had done to prove her loyalty to her company  why would she blindly throw it all away when she should have made sure that nick would even talk to her first  let alone consider a relationship  was quitting her job a prerequisite to making amends with nick  throw in the fact that i dont think nick and kate spent enough time together to even warrant that rash of a decision  i believe that kate liked him  but liked him so intensely that she was willing to throw her career away  i doubt it  and what of the ending scene at a wedding where the entire congregation feels it necessary to stop everything and stare at the couple  are mass groups of people simultaneously that interested in total strangers  well  i guess of the congregation consists of movie extras and the strangers are the movies two lead stars  then that would make sense  picture perfect directed by glenn gordon caron kate                         jennifer aniston nick                         jay mohr sam                         kevin bacon mercer                      kevin dunn darcy                       illeana douglas rita                         olympia dukakis written by randy turgeon  february 26  1998  visit my movie reviews  www  xtdl  comcanran 
neg	this review contains spoilers  but believe me  i dont say anything you cant guess 10 minutes into the movie  i  did  go into this one with high expectations  i had been exposed to media reports that this film would signify a departure from the slasher flicks  i sort of expected another exorcist or the shining  i even put aside my general rule of not seeing this type of film  boy  was i wrong  another garbage slasher flick  the only difference being that  this  one has a story  the story  you ask  well  a scumball buys a chinese puzzle from a guy in an arab souk  he takes it home  somehow getting it past customs    and starts fiddling with it in his attic  lo and behold  after he takes it apart  three demons appear and start taking him apart  but with meat hooks  when theyre finished  his gizzards are hanging from the ceiling  they botch up their cleanup job  however  and manage to leave his heart  or some gland  i didnt really recognize the organ  under a floorboard  the guys brother and his brothers wife appear at the door soon after  and decide to move in  they throw away scumballs belongings  and set up house  turns out that wife is a bit of a nympho  and screwed around with scumball right before her marriage  she starts having some wild hallucinations  later  hubby spills some blood on the attic floorboards  slowmo special effects of the buckets of blood hitting the groundall from the tiny cut on his hand   said blood is eagerly sucked up by scumballs organ  the organ grows into a thing that requires yet more blood in order to complete the regeneration into a really ugly thing  it establishes mind contact with wife  who agrees to help him get more blood  because she really wants to be screwed again  so  she helps him kill three businessmen  scumball  at this time  gradually gets his strength back and grows all his organs back  problem is  he doesnt have any skin  and even after three or four corpses  still doesnt get any skin  he finally gets some  though  but strangely enough  he ends up looking like his brother  guess they couldnt get the original actor back  who knows  scumball  whose name is frank  is not a nice guy  he describes his torture by the demons fondly  as the  ultimate pleasure and pain  since at that level there is no difference between the two   somehow  i dont see getting torn apart by 90 fish and meathooks a lot of fun  this guy is  so  bad   how bad  is  he      so  bad that the  rats  cower in a corner in fear  for good reason  too  he crucifies two of them for fun  and carves a third while the nymphos horsing around with hubby  anyway  hubbys daughter  who  if course  is not  wifes  daughter  starts to suspect something is wrong after she sees wife going into the attic with one of her johns and the ensuing screams  the dumb bimbo meets scumball  and is not impressed  she manages to escape with the chinese puzzle  and brings out the demons  at any rate  the demons are pissed off that they screwed up their cleanup  theyre normally quite meticulous about that type of thing  the story boils down to the demons trying to correct their mistake  the demons are not  however  the good guys  the dumb bimbos the good guy  she somehow not only gets them to take care of frank  but also banishes them to hell or oblivion  were not too sure which  not too shabby for someone with singledigit iq  this is basically a  bad jinn  story  it is an  awful  movie  awful acting  bad focus in the photography  many scenes of skin being penetrated by meathooks  which is really unrealistic  and looks like the latex that it is  continuity  who cares  acting   terrible   script  horrible  sounds canned  unrealistic  story is soso  but the impact is lost long  long before the film ends  i do think the  rat  acting was quite good  i have never seen rats look afraid  they should get nominated for an award  really good acting there  the best in the movie   the envelope for best furry rodent  please     a   rating would be far too generous  a  110  rating  or 4 in the 4 to 4 rating system  is far more accurate  this movie is so bad that people in the audience were laughing  chortling at the bad acting and crummy dialog  i can see this film turning into the next rocky horror picture show  people were getting so fed up they were yelling warnings up to the characters on the screen  had to have something to do  dumb  dumb  dumb movie  i was embarrassed that i spent money to see it  it goes without saying that i disagree with the other reviews on the board that attempt to review the film for itself  lots of slime and reddyed corn syrup does not constitute  horror   in my opinion  
neg	 have you ever heard the one about a movie so bad that it made a guy run out of the theatre screaming   obviously the producers at columbia tristar did not think that we suffered enough from the first installment  and so to finish us utterly  they have now released  urban legends  final cut   this is another  scream  like feature  consisting merely from the recycled materials of ripoffs from the most pointless movies of all time  amy  jennifer morrison  is a film student who is attending a film school filled with uninspired film students who do not have a clue about what to do  but just as she reaches the halfway mark of her final semester at prestigious universitys film program  where each years best thesis production takes the coveted hitchcock prize  a virtual oneway ticket to hollywood success  she has a chance encounter with campus security guard reese  loretta devine   whose tale of a series of murders based on urban legends at another university inspires amy to try her hand at a fictional thriller organized along similar lines  soon enough  fake  and real  blood starts to flow  and amy is being chased around by scary killer  while her cast and crew get slain  one by one  is the culprit the original urban legends murderer  just some random psycho   a member of the faculty  one of her competitors for the hitchcock  or is there something even more stupid going on  this is another one of those tiring  pointless teen slasher flicks  neither scary  funny  or interesting  it simply lacks the ability and the story to entertain  the body counts and screams continue to grow  as the weak level of intelligence sinks rapidly  in fact watching films like that after having watched  scary movie  is impossible keeping a serious face  several times i tried to prevent myself from laughing  without succeeding  and then i realized that practically the whole theatre was laughing  its the same thing that has been told and told and told over and over again as if it was the revelation of the century  how many times must we tolerate the same clich  s that have haunted the slasher genre since its birth  it has been so many films about masked killers that most of us have developed an allergy for them  they are the most stupid  meaningless  predictable and soulless films in existence  however  director john ottman manages to make  urban legends  final cut  into one of the worst achievements of this godforsaken genre  what was done with a sense of redemption for past failures and irony in  scream   ottman takes seriously  for that reason alone  it is worth a look  just to realize how bad a movie can be  its tough to find comparisons for such an achievement  and we have to dig in ancient history to find a movie that would match its intellect  even movies like  lost in space  and  mission to mars  seem spectacular in its shadow  we have not seen such waste of t  ime and resources since  showgirls   1995   no matter how hard i tried to find positive elements in this so called production  i came up with nothing  except the way the killer was dressed  here i feel that i have to compliment the costume designers trysha bakker and mariesylvie deveu  that have wisely replaced the well known screammask with a very elegant fencing mask  jennifer morrison   stir of echoes   is all right  and the other actors best achievement is keeping a straight face when pronouncing the words from the script  in fact the only thing that is terrifying about this film  with the exception of its screenplay  is its portray of film schools  if these graduates will be the directors of the future  then hollywoods golden days are over  rumors are already spreading through the internet that columbia tristar is already developing a third installment  lets just hope and pray that its just an urban legend  
neg	 we are grateful that we have the songs of grace chan to comfort us   starring lee kangsheng  yang kueimei directed by tsai mingliang written by tsai and yang pingying cinematography by liao pengjung taiwan  241299  the millenium approaches  an incessant downpour batters an unnamed city  sectors of the city are being sealed  quarantined due to the onset of a mysterious virus  the virus causes people to act like insects  they crawl about on all fours  hide from bright lights  huddle in damp corners  the water supply to the quarantined zones will be cut off in a weeks time  residents are advised to evacuate the area  asap  this premisekafka by way of cronenbergis the background for the hole  which could have been a great movie  but  sadly  ends up as a waste of good ideas  the quick sketch above suggests a dark  absurd  hallucinatory nearfuture parable of life in the late 20th century  in execution  however  it is nothing like that  the virus  the evacuation  the visual possiblities of the deluge  these are all relegated to the background  instead  the hole focuses on the livesfor want of a better wordof a man  lee kangsheng  and a woman  yang kueimei  who live in the same apartment building  and who have no personalities  the entire movie taks place in settings that are uniformly ugly and sterile  the charmless rooms and corridors of a postindustrial apartment complex  photographed to look as dim and dingy as possible  its a vivid setting  but an unappealing one  especially with the monotonous hiss of falling rain and the gurgle of drainage pipes in the background  the man lives in the apartment directly above the womans  one day  a repairman investigating a leak leaves a small hole in the floor of the mans living room  opening into the ceiling of the womans living room  this holesymbol of the solitary opening in the characters lonely  compartmented livesallows them to interact in unusual  and mostly nonverbal  ways  example  the man  suffering from the onset of the virus  or so i assumeeverything is obscure in this movie  vomits through the hole  the woman  wandering around in the dark  accidentally puts her hand on his vomit  and then cleans it up  this is what passes for meaningful communication  and they say romance is dead  much of the film does not even focus on their interactions  such as they are  there is almost no dialogue and we learn next to nothing about these people  they are ciphers  instead  we are treated to long takes in which we witness their miserable lives  we watch  for instance  as the woman boils some water  pours it onto some noodles  then eats the noodles   this is as fascinating as it sounds   offered as counterpointor perhaps reliefto these dreary sequences are a series of musical numbers  fantasies in which the woman lipsynchs to pop songs by grace chan  popular  so im told  in 1950s china   she prances around in grimy hallways and grungy stairwells  incronguously lit by cheerfully bright spotlights  sometimes  in these fantasies  she is joined by the man  these scenes are presumably intended to be bright and fanciful  sharply contrasting the dreariness of reality  but they fail  when the man and the woman dance  it seems halfhearted and listless  astaire and rogers this is not  even in imagination  these people are numb  weary  boring  the hole is part of the collection 2000 series  a group of films commissioned by french tv station la sept arte on the subject of the millenium  others include canadas last night  brazils midnight  and american hal hartleys the book of life  the book of life is the only other one that i have seen  and it is infinitely superior to the taiwanese entry  witty  energetic  humane  it makes the the hole seem  ahem  empty  american movies with nothing to say try to disguise their lack of content with flashy movements  quick cuts  superficial emotions  foreign movies with nothing to say do what the hole does  they point the camera at something of minimal interest for unbelievably long periods of time  and call it art  the hole is selfevidently a film about alienation  and perhaps director tsai mingliang wants the audience to share in his characters alienation  if so  he succeeds  perhaps it is a challenge  he dares us to enjoy this movie  despite his best attempts to ensure that we dont  if it was a challenge  i wasnt up for it  
neg	what happens when you put martin lawrence in a fat suit in real life  you get martin lawrence in a coma  the comedian thought he was getting fat  so he put on numerous layers of heavy clothing and went jogging in 100 degree heat  ending up in a coma   so what happens when you put martin lawrence in a fat suit in the movies  you get an audience in a coma  in big mommas house  lawrence plays a fbi agent whos a master of disguises  when a naughty  naughty man escapes from jail and seeks out his former girlfriend  the very sexy nia long    the only thing worth looking at in this movie   she flees to georgia to stay with her rather large southern aunt  big momma   ella mitchell   the fbi follows her in order to recover the large sum of money stolen in the bank robbery that sent the naughty man to jail  however  big momma is called away on an emergency  sensing that they could lose their only chance to capture the criminal  lawrence goes undercover as big momma  and let the comedy begin  big mommas house is the definition of a  gimmick  movie if there ever was one  the plot can basically be summed up as  martin lawrence dresses up as a fat woman     and even that description is too wordy  you can just see this script plotted out on a chalkboard with martin lawrencefat woman in the middle of the board with a big circle around it  and all sorts of clich  d   humorous  situations pointing to it  fat woman plays basketball  fat woman takes a dump  fat woman kung fu  well they left one off the board    movie critic slips into coma  paul giamatti  private parts  the negotiator  plays lawrences partner and as much as i enjoy his work  even he cant inject life into this lifeless comedy  hell  the greatest performers on the planet couldnt make this material work    its just that awful  
neg	blatantly borrowing elements from 1993s  like water for chocolate  and 1991s  the butchers wife    simply irresistible  attempts to be a whimsical romantic comedy but  more often than not  comes off as laughable  leaving you to wonder why rising star sarah michelle gellar  t  v  s  buffy  the vampire slayer   would choose such an obviously inept film project to waste her time on  things get off to a bad start right from the onset as amanda  sarah michelle gellar   a young woman who runs her late familys struggling new york restaurant  runs into a mystery man who forces a bushel of crabs on her and then vansihes into thin air  while out shopping  she also meets tom  sean patrick flanery   a charming  handsome man  who happens to be planning a ritzy restaurant for the department store he works for  and later when he decides to drop by her dive  called southern cross  for lunch  she somehow makes a delicious crab dish for him  even though she is known to not be a very good chef  suddenly  amanda finds her restaurant  on the edge of foreclosure  rejuvenate to life as customer begin to swarm for her food  which strangely causes everyone immediate jubilation when it hits their mouths  are amanda and tom destined to be together  and is it not just because of the magical food  but because they really  truly like each other  and what exactly is going on with the food she is making  does it have anything to do with that pesky crab she got that sits on the shelf in the kitchen somehow assisting her in her food preparation   simply irresistible  is a ridiculous and just plain goofy romantic fantasy thats as flimsy as a slice of bologna  it takes one jokethat people who eat the food are taken aback by it in most unusual waysand recycles it over and over again until the film has reached an appropriate running time of 95 minutes  add in a music montage every ten minutes  these are actually the best scenes in the movie  which certainly tells you something about the film itself   and what youve got is an utterly empty  if not necessarily boring  excursion  the cast of  simply irresistible  is fairly good  but it is the supporting characters who are the most interesting  patricia clarkson  1998s  high art   in which she played a druggedout lesbian  is a standout as toms colleague  and is thankfully given a few funny lines of dialogue  also of note is larry gilliard jr   as amandas cooking assistant and buddy  who is allowed to create a seemingly full character out of only a handful of scenes  of the main stars  sarah michelle gellar is fine  but really does often look like shes struggling through the unmistakably clumsy material  and if sean patrick flanery plans on keeping a film career in the future  he has certainly got to pick better projects than this  the bottom line is that  simply irresistible  is the exact opposite of its deprophesized title  and when the movie got to the point where the characters began to float in midair  an unamusing plot device that was repeated in the stupid last scene   my mind checked out from the characters and the romance  when i think about it in hindsight  i should have checked out in the very first scene  where the point of the action was for gellar to crawl under tables looking for a runaway mechanical crab  now  that certainly is what id call magical  
neg	i wont even pretend that i have seen the other 3 alien films  i saw glimpses of alien and aliens and fragments of alien 3  but i have by no means actually sat down and watched any of them  so take my opinion from an unbiased and impartial perspective  alien resurrection is not worth the large bag of lollies i was munching into after a hard days work  i didnt just dislike it so much because the plot was awful  most of the acting was very average or the special effects got tiresome after 5 minutes of painful viewing  but also the fact that every tedious ingredient thrown in attempts to give this pointless dribble some meaning  sigourney weaver  whos role in alien earned her an academy award nomination  plays the character of ripley   who died fighting against extraterrestrial scum in alien 3  200 years later  scientists use a sample of blood found at the site of her death to recreate ripley  including the alien that was stuck inside her  in no time they remove the alien from her body and separate the two  yet ripley is now not completely human  possessing strange amounts of strength and being able to withhold greater pain than a normal being  im sure someone can explain exactly why this is so  but for now well just ignore it and move on  why  you ask  would ripley and the alien inside her be recreated  well  the smart little lab researchers believed that they would be able to discover many advancements in science from studying the alien creature  these were the same people who said they could control the alien and that their was no danger in their research  they  yawn  were wrong  it doesnt take a genius to figure out that the rest of the film is a continuous cat and mouse chase between the humans who die off one by one and the aliens who open their mouths on every possible occasion to show off their frightfully scary unflossed teeth  theres a little saying that goes something like this  if youre going to make a bad film  do it well   i have seen plenty of disappointing and underachieving movies  but they are not the ones that really bother me  alien resurrection  a good example of a film that really gets up my nose  is not so much a discouraging experience but an off putting one  there is no way to describe why the australian ma rating was given to this film other than unnecessary and repulsive gore  which attempts to distract us from the wanderingbutnotgoinganywhere plot  in one scene my stomach churned as i witnessed a mawkish looking alien put its hand on a characters head and literally ripped most of his face off  another one featured ripley sticking a knife through her hand just to impress someone she was talking to  fair enough if it were in a horror film or even if it bared any significance to the story  but this is unfortunately not the case  and this sort of bizarre gore is inexcusable  if you think im struggling to find one good aspect about the film  then you thought right  one exciting scene is a credit  and the only part remotely worth seeing  to the film  in which an alien chases two men  one a cripple  up a tall ladder with interesting results  but of course after that thrilling scene alien resurrection had no problem in returning to its pathetically low standard  and ends up crashing into the shores of movie dullness more often than japanese kamikaze jet fighters fall off their skis  so in a film where the one liners come as bad as earth man  what a shit hole and the primary means for one mans strategic attack is to bounce bullets off walls to hit an opponent  its no wonder why alien  resurrection turned out to be as off putting and clumsy as it is  oh  and in case youre wondering about my bag of lollies  the less i enjoy a film  the more i eat  so all the lollies were gone in 15 minutes  but however empty the bag turned out to be  it was still a long way ahead of the movie 
neg	synopsis  lifelong friends rafe  affleck  and danny  hartnett  join the us air force and are stationed at pearl harbor  hawaii  rafe goes to england to fight alongside british pilots and is seemingly killed in action  danny falls in love with rafes girlfriend  evelyn  beckinsale   but rafe survives and returns to confront his former friend  meanwhile  the japanese sneak attack is imminent    review   pearl harbor  is a perfect example of movies as product rather than as art  it is little more than a crasslycalculated attempt to woo the masses  enticing them with big stars  big effects  and a big setting  but no heart  it is difficult to criticise the actors  because they do everything the movie demands of them  sadly  this amounts to barely more than reciting dialogue of such sheer banality that it makes one eager to see the script randall wallace wrote with his right hand at the same time as he was writing  pearl harbor  with his left  the plot here is pure cliche  and the wartime setting simply a convenient backdrop  there is no genuine exploration of what pearl harbor meant to the united states  and no insight into its vital role in inciting that country to join world war ii  instead  there is just an assemblyline love triangle  some empty patriotic rhetoric  and a laughable attempt to placate japanese viewers via the inclusion of some reticent imperial commanders  when one intones   i fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant   i nearly fell out of my seat   to the movies credit  it does include a fantastic portrayal of the attack itself  an exciting and dizzying hour which plunges viewers into the war  if only the remaining two hours had been crafted with such skill  perhaps this memorial day nonevent would have been worth watching  
neg	this is a film that i was inclined to like at the outset  the two main characters had been involved with the fine television drama st  elsewhere for several years  and i had understood that the directorscreenwriter had written for the show on occasion also  i am sorry to report that the results were not up to my expectations  nor were they satisfactory  if i had to list a reason why     but that would be getting ahead of myself  besides  its not immediately clear  as there are so many problems with the film  adam arkin plays a gradeschool teacher who is sardonic  cynical  and somewhat abrasive  but a good teacher  he spends his lunches playing basketball by himself on a nearby court  one day  he meets a drifter  david morse  who plays jack morrison on st  elsewhere  in the park  and inveigles him in a game of oneonone basketball  morse turns out to be good  and a friendship slowly develops between the two  as their respective professions progress on the screenarkins teaching  and morses selling of paper flowers to passing motorists  so far  my major complaint would be the lack of dialogue  and the constant intrusion of the musical soundtrack  good music to be sure  but it doesnt replace the dialogue for setting the mood or telling the storyit makes the film somewhat minimalistic  a technique i rarely admire  suddenly their friendship is interrupted by morses introduction to a fellow teacher of arkins  a woman arkin has long admired from afar  but it too reticent to approach  it appears that she begins to admire morse  who enjoys here attentions  but isnt sure what to do about itshe doesnt realize that he is a drifter  and knows nothing about his past   and this causes friction between arkin and almost everyone else  until then  i had only a vague dissatisfaction with the film  the conclusion is where it begins to evolve into a fullfledged failure  the woman  at least to me  appeared to be fairly shallow  i didnt realize how shallow until her final scene with arkin  where she reveals that she has been trying to make arkin jealous by her attentions to morse  somehow  this is made to appear as if it is arkins fault  and it is left with him feeling somehow victorious that hes gotten such a find of girlfriend  frankly  dropping her on the spot would have seemed the most civilized action arkin could make  punching her in the mouth not the least  after this  the childish confrontation between morse and arkin at the end seems almost natural  if i had to summarize a major gripe  its that this is a story spread too thin  that creates semilikable characters at the outset  and then suddenly jerks them into being 16yearolds at the last moment  it might be truetolife with some people  but that doesnt mean  i  have to like it  i dont   avoid  
neg	i love movies  i really do  every time i watch great movies like goodfellas  1990  or raiders of the lost ark  1981   a tear comes to my eye due to the awesome talent  skill and entertainment that is on display  even lower grade films such as the naked gun 33 13  1994  or ghostbusters ii  1988  while not exactly brilliantly well made  are certainly not a waste of celluloid and present entertainment value  then theres my favourite martian  the exact opposite of what a movie should be  a hurried  poorly written and acted movie with one goal  to make money  disney  ever since the lion king  1994  have lost their magic touch  but this dross just shows how far disney have sunk  christopher lloyd plays a martian who crash lands in front of t  v reporters tim ohara car  daniels   and soon tim finds the martian in his home  trying to recover and fix his spaceship  along with his zoot spacesuit  voiced by wayne knight  must fix his spaceship before it explodes  and also try to stop his identity being revealed to the public  firstly by ohara  but later by rival t  v presenter brace channing  hurley   by calling himself tims uncle martin   laughter is supposed to arise from the comical events  but never does  many bad films have good intentions  but my favourite martian doesnt appear to try to provide any entertainment  filled to the brim with wham bang special effects  my favourite martian offers little more than some nice eye candy  christopher lloyd mugs his way through the entire movie  ive never seen a man pull a face for 93 minutes until now  jeff daniels plays staple nice guy and his role is useless  his performance is incredibly lazy  although his paperthin character doesnt deserve more than the performance he gives  darryl hannah looks as pretty as ever  but her role is somewhat  erm  limited  hurley mistakes acting for shouting and looking like a twit and wins the david wilcock award for most irritating  godawful performance in a moving picture   way to go liz  for the supporting cast  disney manage to assemble every character actor out there  during the film i was going he was the guy in    ah   er     before finally giving up and switching off  another major setback is the staple comedy sidekick   unfortunately  the writers  sherri stoner and deanna oliver  if anyone cares  forget that a comedy sidekick needs to be funny   instead  they deliver zoot  the martians deeply unfunny sidekick  although meant to be a manic character no doubt  every line that comes out of his neck is a dud  a real dud  citizen kane delivers more laughs a minute than his hell spawn piece of polyester  even the kids in the audience were insulted by this character  not one child even bothered to smirk  its a nice special effect  though  another problems with this comedy are the gags themselves  or rather  the lack of them  my favourite martian reaches a new level of toilet humour  it goes past the bowl  down the pipe and into the sewer  now  toilet humour can be funny  as dumb and dumber  1994  humorously showed  but here  characters farting  belching and almost getting crapped on  literally  is not amusing   its insulting  theres one good gag right before the credits  but it appears the guy who wrote that gag tragically died and his unfunny twin continued  either that  or they were hoping that easy to please six year olds wouldnt mind the fact that his movie is beaten by men at work in the funny stakes  yes  men at work  yowza  the fact that a lot of money was pumped into this film  and that they actually got people to agree to be in this film just depresses me even more  there are thousands of brilliant films out there that cant get distribution  yet trash like this gets released nationwide with ease  thankfully  as soon as it makes its money  it will never be seen again  and my favourite martian will end up where the two lead characters do near the end of the movie  down the toilet  
neg	i looked at the  internet movie database  s awards section for this film  and found that this was nominated for a golden globe for  best picture  drama    anyone whos seen this film can back me up on this  this is the worst of the  great  disaster films  and thats not really saying a lot for this film   earthquake  is basically notable because it originally included some theatre thing where the theatre shook when the big earthquake occured  on video  its a bland and slowmoving film which gives us a bunch of different characters  the disaster film requisite   then brings them together in the struggle against the big disaster  while this worked in  say   the towering inferno   it doesnt here for one single reason  we dont care about any of the characters  the film gives us charlton heston  in one of many crap 70s films he made  including  skyjacked  and that classic   soylent green   as a rich man married to ava gardner  who is having a little affair with a young single mom  genieveve bujold   a renegade police officer on suspension  george kennedy  in his least humored performance   in the second weirdest subplot  a motorcycle stuntman  richard roundtree  right after his  shaft  thing  whose big stunt is he goes on a little track that goes upside down  yea  snore   and the weirdest subplot  a military manbag boy at a grocery store who has a little thing for buxom victoria principal  and eventually gets vengeance on those guys who made fun of his hair       in smaller subplots  theres a pointless bit about people who are flying over l  a   the city in the film  by the way   one whos playing cards and married to a boring nonacting husband  you think this one can go nowhere  guess again  he gets interested in the final frames   theres genieveve bujolds moron son  who has a little adventure with wires  and for some muchneeded comedy  theres walter matthau  billed as walter mutha      the only laugh in the film   as a wild drunkard  whos big moment is a dance he does at a critical time  as for the actual  earthquake   its rather a letdown  theres a full hour of charactersetups  none of which is interesting  then about 10 minutes of shaking  crumbling  and a bit where a house almost falls on bujold  narrowly missing   this film needed that whole theatreshaking  they needed to wake everybody up because they were so bored  theres little suspense following the quake  although this film tries for it  theres an adventure in a crumbling highrise office building  the wires with the kid  and the movement of people who are all injured  but none of these are alltoo suspenseful  the finale with the hestongardnerbujold love triangle is ended in a basic flipofthecoin bit  which brings out a big letdown  and theres no real finale  even  volcano  ended nicely  and that movie really sucked  not only is it hokey  but you dont care about any character  who cares if heston dies  who cares if he choses bujold or gardner  although i would have chosen gardner  mainly on the basis that she can actually act   who cares if richard roundtree makes money on his stupid  stunt   who cares if that idiot kid falls to his death on some wires  and who cares about that whole plane spiel  if anything   earthquake  is worth a viewing for the same reason  glen or glenda   is  i mean  i laughed at this more than i did at  bio dome   but thats another story  and review   in short   earthquake  gives disaster pics a bad name  
neg	the formula is simple  trap a varied group of people on an isolated location  then pop in a seemingly unstoppable monster to kill them one by one  these have been the successful ingredients for many good films  the thing  alien  aliens  and tremors to name a few   so  why is it that so many films following this recipe end up pathetically bad   see the relic for a particularly putrid example   perhaps it is simply too easy to forget the necessary binding ingredient  effort and ideas  deep rising meets these two requirements part way  but not enough to salvage the film  treat williams is finnegan  the leader of a small boat crew who hire out their services  and their boat  for any activity    no questions asked  this time  however  they may have gone too far  their passengers  led by the ominous wes studi  are the type of multinational terrorist squads usually only seen in die hard films  and their cargo    lets just say it has very high explosive potential  what is the target of these thieves  why  the argonauticus  of course  a high tech luxury cruise yacht on its maiden voyage  but something else is hunting the argonauticus    something ancient and deadly  by the time the thieves arrive  nearly everyone on board the ship has been killed  and now the creature senses fresh meat  so  you have the thieves and their mercenary boat crew  joining forces with the surviving passengers  including the ship owner canton  anthony heald   and a thief with less lofty goals  trillian  famke janssen   against the terror from the deep  and the monster gets to pick them off one by one  fortunately for the creature  this particular band of criminals happens to be the dumbest the world can offer  why else would they indulge in petty squabbling while they watch their friends become fish food  if theres a more clarion call for unity  i dont know what it might be  its pretty easy to guess who will get killed off when  there are no surprises in that the most interesting characters seem to last until the end  for the most part  the watery tentacles seem to be acting on the audiences impulses to get rid of the most boring characters first   although i wonder if the filmmakers might have extended djimon hounsous life a bit if they knew this would be released so soon after his acclaim for amistad   treat williams is a passable hero  and famke janssen does her best julia roberts impersonation  but while wes studi and anthony heald are particularly slimy  very little of the rest of the company stand out in any way  the biggest treat in the film  however  has to be pantucci  kevin j  oconnors whining engineboy  under finnegans employ  his constant quips may be a bit overwritten  but they manage to capture the same vein of nerveaddled humor that bill paxton delivered as hudson in aliens  or todd graff as hippie in the abyss  for that matter   its just a stock part  the comicrelief character   but it almost makes this tired alien clone bearable  as far as the monster goes  although the cgi is done well  the creature has no logical consistency  think back to the great  or even just good  movie monsters  they all had a set of  rules  about what they could do  and how and why they would do it  part of the joy of those films was slowly discovering  along with the heroes  just what those rules are  the tentacle monster in deep rising doesnt have a set of rules    or if it does  not a very good one  it merely eats  or drinks  as the case may be   and there is no rhyme or reason for what it does in order to do so  the film never explains why the argonauticus is attacked in the first place  it simply happens  the action scenes are decent  but few are noteworthy  the film definitely does suffer from its proximity to titanic  deep risings peril in the water scenes pale next to camerons  but can you really blame them   unfortunately  deep risings efforts are more on par with speed 2  on the plus side  however  the films closing image shows some promise for a potentially interesting  but unlikely  sequel  perhaps youd be better off waiting for that one  
neg	the thirteenth floor is a bland  obligatory exercise in genre filmmaking  if i hadnt recently watched the matrix and open your eyes  both of which are similar but far superior  i might have been a little nicer to this picture  craig bierko makes an adequate hero as douglas hall  the rich cocreator of a perfect human world simulation who is suddenly blamed for the murder of his boss  armin muellerstahl   everything that was subtle and smart about the previously mentioned films is battered over our heads in this one  and characters stare at each other for maddeninglylong periods of time and refuse to communicate on any realistic level  the acting is okay  but the film suffers from every logical flaw one could think of  and features a script  copenned by director josef rusnak  loaded with cliches and stock characters  there are individual scenes and ideas that work  i like the thought of a sentient computer program  but none of the films strengths are recognized to any meaningful degree  producer roland emmerich  based on this and his previous directorial efforts  seems hellbent on bringing us the ultimate standard in mediocre sciencefiction  
neg	my giant begins with a monologue thats more funny than not and a distinctive princess bride   medieval fairytaleinthe  90s feel  i was pleasantly surprised how sharp the comedy was  with very funny scenes occurring on a movie set in romania where talent agent sammy  billy crystal  is visiting a client and in the monastery where sammy ends up after being mysteriously saved when he accidentally plunges his car into a stream  and when sammy meets max  his giant  mysterious savior played by gheorghe muresan  there is magic in the air  albeit it a bit goofy  i loved every minute of it  the film  of course  plays on the size difference between the two  and at times you would almost swear it must be special effects  i particularly enjoyed a shot of sammy dangling his legs from a maxsized chair as the two face each over an enormous table and eat from oversized bowls and spoons  i also liked jere burns  from tvs something so right  performance as the director of the film in romania  at this point  the primary flaw in the film is that gheorghe muresan is incredibly hard to understand  particularly during his fastpaced first scene  it is unfortunate that the script required him to speak quickly right out of the gate  as i did understand him more as the film continued and i became accustomed to his speech  however  about the time muresan becomes coherent  the characters head to new york and the film takes a dive  off the high board  suddenly  we are expected to believe sammy is a dowhateverittakes slime ball  up until this point he was pursuing his own interests to be sure  but he didnt come off as a desperate jerk  if he had  the first scenes could never have been so lighthearted and magical  but now  in new york  we are further introduced to his neglected wife and son  and his character is desperate enough to involve max in a disturbing giant vs  midgets wrestling match  which i found quite unpleasant and jarring within the framework of the film  indeed  many scenes stuck out of this film like incorrectly placed puzzle pieces  this includes the scenes featuring steven seagal  when sammy gets max a role in a big  hollywood movie filming in las vegas  while i enjoyed seeing seagal poke fun at himself  the scenes appeared to exist solely because of his participation  rather than because the film demanded it  and the audience is required to take a huge leap to believe that max would win the role based on his quotations of shakespeare  at this point i found myself thinking  were supposed to believe that someone would cast this guy in a film   then i realized he was  and i was watching it  in the final third  the film undergoes another transformation  this time to unbridled sentimentality  note  major plot points are revealed in this and the final paragraph  max went to america because sammy promised to reunited him with his childhood love  lillianna  who hasnt seen him since he was a normalsized kid  her refusal to see max  unbeknownst to him  leads us to an awkward ends justify the means scene as sammys wife serena  played nicely by kathleen quinlan  poses as lillianna  i found this scene offensive  not only did it rely on deception to induce warm  fuzzy feelings from the audience  it reduced max to someone we should pity and coddle  which i thought was quite undeserved  i think max could have handled the truth  gratuitous illness and all  late in the film we learn max  and in fact all giants  have a heart condition which shortens their lives considerably  this could be an enlightening revelation  but the film seemingly presents it only to justify sammys transformation into a caring  sensitive guy  and hey  a great dad and husband  too  my giant suffers from a poorly constructed story line and undeveloped characters whose actions are determined by plot points rather than their own internal persuasions  a stronger story with more room for character growth might have been possible if the focus was on maxs struggle to be accepted and cast in movies instead of sammys struggles to get money and become a better person  in this scenario  maxs illness could have been a integral part of the film not a story motivator  sentiment and emotion would have followed naturally  instead  were apparently not supposed to like sammy until the end  but were not allowed to focus on max  crystal and muresan give adequate and at times enjoyable performances  but in the end  my giant left me feeling like id been fed gruel from a giant spoon  
neg	alexandre dumas meets hong kong action with newcomer justin chambers reprising the oftplayed character of dashing swordsman dartagnon in director peter hyams adventure  the musketeer   for some reason that i may figure out later  i dont know why the time  money and effort were put into the making of  the musketeer   it may be that someone had the clever idea of combining the dumas characters and story with the current enamor with the action work of hong kong imports like this films xinxin xiong   once upon a time in china   and yuen wooping from  crouching tiger  hidden dragon   the result is a mix of genres that dont mesh well  elements of the ritz brothersstyle comedy  for those few who remember that comedic troupe from the 1939  the three musketeers    the man with no name from  a fistful of dollars   dartagnan demands that the bad guys apologize to his horse in a direct ref to the clint eastwood spaghetti western  and hong kong action choreography are all utilized in the original script by gene quintano  the result is an action flick that bears little resemblance to its source material while it makes contemporary that material in an effort to grab the  matrix  crowd  alexandre dumas may well be rolling in his grave if he knows what was done to his classic oeuvre and characters  the real problem with the  the musketeer  lies in the casting of the two lead  romantically intertwined characters  dartagnan and francesca  mena suvari   chambers has the boyishly handsome good looks for the character  a la chris odonnell  but lacks any onscreen charisma  suvari has the doeeyed  pretty looks as the chambermaid who has the ear of the queen  but she  too  does not have the chemistry to command the screen  if  the musketeer  makes them any money  they should invest in acting lessons  stronger performers may have helped to raise the bar on this one  the supporting cast is  on the surface  impressive  catherine denueve plays the queen of france and lends her character an air of royalty  dignity and humor  especially when she plays off of dartagnans mentor  planchet  jeanpierre castaldi  who reminds of andre the giant in  the princess bride   stephen rea looks good in the part of the conniving usurper cardinal richelieu  but is given very little to help flesh out his character  tim roth is the kind of bad guy you love to hate as the cardinals chief henchman  febre  he is so bad he makes simon legree look like a boy scout  the rest of the players  particularly the three musketeers aramis  nick moran   lock  stock and two smoking barrels    porthos  steve spiers  and athos  jan gregor kremp   are background fodder whose role is to come to dartagnans aid when needed  peter hyams does double duty as director and cinematography and may be too stretched to do both well  a stronger hand at the helm could have helped the mediocre performances of the leads and better utilized his veteran thesps  photography is straightforward action fare that goes through all the appropriate action flick motions  dartagnan takes on a tavern full of thugs and bests them singlehanded  he fights a gang of febres henchmen aboard a speeding coach to protect the queen  with the obligatory branches hanging over the road   he goes one on one with his lifelong enemy  febre  who murdered dartagnans folks years before  it is all routine stuff  the renowned wire work developed by the hong kong action masters is used to artificial effect as the players leap  defying gravity  up walls and from horse to horse  it works in a scifi film like  the matrix  or in a classical fantasy like  crouching tiger  hidden dragon  but just calls attention to itself in  the musketeer   at one point i could swear i saw the stunt wire being used  it did not make me a believer and i am very disappointed  with a run time of 106 minutes it should have been more like 80 and i give it a d  
neg	i think maybe its time for the batman series to be put to rest  not only has the first two films unsettling insight into what it would really take for someone to make himself into a  superhero  been abandoned  but this one throws any lingering realism out the window and goes for allout camp with few traces of the selfmocking restraint of the relatively lighthearted third installment  let me give you an example  in the first scene of the movie  batman  george clooney  and robin  chris odonnell  are summoned to a museum that has been literally turned to ice by mr  freeze  arnold schwarzenegger  in an attempt to steal a diamond  mr  freezes thugs are armed with none other than hockey sticks  but this is no problem for our heroes  automatic skates shoot out of their shoes  at which point robin manages to get hold of a hockey stick  grabs the diamond  and stickhandles it through the museum  i might have expected this from an airplanestyle farce  but i dont think thats what this movie is supposed to be  after all  the previous three batman movies were actually fairly realistic by the standards of the superheroaction genre and kept the corny deathdefying stunts to a minimum  while playing the obligatory cheesiness with at least some amount of irony  not any more  the list goes on and on in this one  robin holds onto the outside of a flying rocket ship 30  000 feet high in the atmosphere  climbing in the door to save batman  mr  freeze and poison ivy  uma thurman  leap from a skyscraper and survive by landing in a small pond  a world dominating mad scientist lives in a fortress that seems to have been stolen from the old heman cartoons  my very favorite example is the scene in which batgirl  alicia silverstone  gets in a race with motorcycle thugs  during which they come up with the clever notion of dousing the road with gasoline and setting it on fire to distract her  not bad  but wouldnt the police  or maybe batman   notice if the road was on fire  i knew gotham city was this crazy anarchic place  but     it also seems that the creators of the batman movies are obeying some unwritten rule that there have to be more main characters and plot lines in each successive installment  as if three protagonists and two villains werent enough  batman and robin further weighs itself down with an underdeveloped side story of the failing health of bruce waynes butler alfred  michael gough   which might have seemed poignant if it wasnt surrounded by so much silliness  as well as several scenes with elle macpherson as bruces girlfriend which serve no purpose other than to remind us that she is in the movie  all this might be semiexcusable if the story were interesting and entertaining  but it isnt  in fact  its kind of boring  mr  freeze and poison ivy pale in comparison as villains to past baddies such as jack nicholsons joker and danny devitos penguin  their evil plot is as predictable  schwarzenegger actually pronounces the words   today gotham city  tomorrow the world    as it is lamebrained  didnt it ever occur to poison ivy that freezing the entire world would kill her precious plants too    and robins constant challenging of batman mostly just makes him look bullheaded and stupid and makes us wonder why batman ever would have taken him on as a partner in the first place  strip away the stars  the fancy set design  and the status as a  batman movie   and all you have here is another barely passable summer action flick  
neg	in my opinion  a movie reviewers most important task is to offer an explanation for his opinion  but with soul survivors  im so full of critical rage that this review is liable to turn into a venomous  uncontrollable rant  obligations damned  however  protocol forces me to do otherwise  soul survivors tells the story of four collegebound friends  cassandra  melissa sagemiller  is sweet and innocent  party girl annabel  eliza dushku of bring it on  is dating worldweary harvard student matt  wes bentley   matt still has feelings for cassie  who is now dating sean  casey affleck   driving back from a creepy  gothic party  the quartet gets into a horrific car crash  sean dies  leaving cassie crestfallen and guilty  made worse because sean saw matt kiss cassie just minutes after sean revealed his love for her  as cassie mopes through her classes  she sees the ghost of sean all over the place  urging her to follow him  along with being plagued by other ghastly visions  cassie is also followed by thugs from that strange party  annabel and matt try calming her down  but no one shares casss visions  she has to figure out this purgatory all by herself  rarely have i seen a director so thoroughly mishandle material  in his directorial debut  steve carpenter does nothing to provoke the audience into feeling any emotion  when the movies camerawork isnt pedestrian  its clich  d  carpenters need for closeups  his camera following sagemiller from behind  drain the movie of any anticipation  we already know what to look for  so why should we be surprised  and the sense of scary atmosphere  which was recently done so well in the others  is nowhere to be found here  carpenters script relies on random twists and turns with a minimum of logic and loads of laziness  this is a movie where the ending features one character providing an explanation about the plot to another character  which is one of the lamest screenwriting devices around  the second lamest device  of course  is the   oh  it was all a dream  resolution  and guess what  this movie has both  not that the main body of the film  which has sagemiller constantly running in fear or having a nervous breakdown  is anything worthwhile  since theres no captivating dialogue  no character chemistry exists anywhere  thats a huge problem  since the four main characters are supposed to be couples  carpenter cant even get the smutty scenes right  which are becoming more prevalent in pg13 movies like bring it on and get over it  the film was recently recut from an r rating to get more kids in the seats  ed   when sagemiller and dushku dance together at a club  he rarely shows them in a full shot and he never keeps the camera on them for longer than a second before relating to some michael baystyle quick cuts  and when sagemiller and dushku take a shower together after getting covered in paint  theyre fully clothed  regardless  any sexiness in that scene is undercut by its stupidity  why wouldnt they wash the clothes in the sink or in the washing machine  why would they shower in their clothes  what if they werent covered in latex paint  the cast  which will see better material in the future  would be wise to leave this one off their resumes  i felt sorry for affleck  who ive liked in other movies  and bentley  who was great in american beauty  dushku  who possesses an alluring femme fetale quality  has got to stop taking roles belonging to rose mcgowan  as for sagemiller  star of the aforementioned get over it   i want to see her in a movie where she plays a person  and not an object for gawking  and im not even getting into luke wilsons role as a priest  at least hes friends with wes anderson  bottom line  soul survivors is so awful i feel compelled to knock on doors and warn people about it  
neg	reading the cast and director for the new mobster comedy   analyze this   i asked myself   how could this miss   robert de niro   taxi driver    raging bull    billy crystal   city slickers    lisa kudrow   the opposite of sex    and director harold ramis   national lampoons vacation    these are usually reliable filmmakers  well  okay  crystal has been in a sizable slump lately   and tellingly  the first halfhour of  analyze this  was very funny  unfortunately  as the running time ticked away  i began to think that the first thirty minutes had  unbeknownst to me  been rewound and were being replayed another twoandahalf times  the film has obtained a clever premise  but does not have any idea what to do with it as it progressively becomes more and more repetitive until i finally stopped enjoying or caring about what was happening on the screen  middleaged psychoanalyst ben sobels  billy crystal  life is finally going very well  although he has never gotten along with his own uncaring parents  especially his father  who is also a psychiatrist  ben has an easygoing teenage son  kyle sabihy  and is about to travel down to miami to get married to his tv news reporter girlfriend  laura  lisa kudrow   in little but a flash  however  ben suddenly sees his plans ruined when he accidentally hits the car of the mob and subsequently gets paid a visit from famed mafia guy paul vitti  robert de niro   who desperately wants counseling  even though he himself wont even admit to having anxiety attacks  ben tries to help paul  mostly so he will get him off his back  but the plot gets more complicated when paul follows ben to his wedding  which ends with a man dropping eight stories to his death  it seems to ben that no matter what he does  paul vitti will not go away  and the more they become involved  the more bens potentially happy life gets into danger   analyze this  has a few laughs sprinkled throughout  mostly in the first half   but i always had the nagging thought that what director ramis and writers peter tolan  ramis  and kenneth lonergan had done was thought of one joke  robert de niro lightly spoofing his serious past mafia roles  while terrorizing and becoming buddies with comic billy crystal  and then tiresomely recycled it for the duration of the 106minute running time  admittedly  de niro is very funny here  and i cant remember the last time you could use that adjective to describe him   and crystal is in topform  but the whole movie is weighed down directly on their shoulders with nothing else to support them  including a substantial plotline  since  analyze this  bills not one  not two  but three writers  youd think that they would have been able to work together to fix the noticably large flaws  but they must have all been on autopilot  one of the most disappointing and wasted opportunities in the film is the way the movie deals with the supporting characters  all of which have next to nothing to do and arent even given multidimensional characters to attempt to develop  coming off of her oscarcaliber work in two of last years best films   clockwatchers  and  the opposite of sex   lisa kudrows throwaway  girlfriend  role is an incredible step down  sure  kudrows fellow  friend  jennifer aniston did the same thing two weeks ago in  office space   but at least we got to spend a little time with aniston  kudrow  meanwhile  mostly just stands around  no doubt wondering why she agreed to appear in this film in the first place  chazz palminteri  as rival gangster primo  fares even worse  in a role that plays more like an afterthought than an actual character  finally  molly shannon  rising film star and cast member on  saturday night live   has a rousingly hilarious onescene cameo right at the beginning as one of crystals patients and then completely disappears  too bad  considering that the supporting actors surely have proven that they have the abilities to support de niro and crystal  once  analyze this  approached its second wedding scene leaving kudrows laura standing alone at the altar once again  i had become thoroughly annoyed by where the story had gone  and had mostly lost respect for the character we were supposed to sympathize with the most  ben  afterwards  the climactic scene with ben posing as a fellow mob boss in place of the depressed paul  became a real laughfree deadzone  losing its last remaining comic punches   analyze this  proves that talent can certainly help any film out  but when the written material isnt up to their level  what we are virtually left with is a vacuum of thin air  
neg	as we see the terrible events that unfold before our eyes in the middle east at the moment  hollywood doesnt loose the oppertunity to get involved  by telling stories and expressing opinions  this film centers on a relationship forged throughout the adult lifetimes of two marine colonels  hays hodges  tommy lee jones  and terry childers  samuel l  jackson   they fought side by side in vietnam  where childers saved hodges life by shooting an unarmed pow  thats against the rules of war but understandable  in this story anyway  under the specific circumstances  certainly hodges is not complaining  years pass  hodges  whose wounds make him unfit for action  gets a law degree and becomes a marine lawyer  childers  is now a respected and muchdecorated hero that has served his country with his life and sould  because of his excellent record  childers is sent to yemen to rescue the american ambassador  ben kingsley   cowering in the embassy under assault from violent demonstrators and snipers blasting from rooftops  childers does what he has to do  evacuate the family and protect the men under his command  after three marines die and the colonel thinks he sees ground fire  he orders his troops to shoot into the firing crowd  more than 80 yemeni men  women  and children are mowed down  childers is immediately accused of ordering his men to fire on a crowd and murder of unarmed civilians  he persuades his old friend hodges to represent him in the courtroom drama that occupies the second half of the film  did childers violate authorized u  s  military rules of engagement  or are there simply no rules in war  the answers to these stereotypical questions are obvious  but the inconsistent plot immediately raises all sorts of other questions  the murder of 83  innocent civilians  has to result into something greater than a simple trial in the u  s  where is the accusations from the arab leaders  where is the u  n   the film ends without even telling the most interesting story  what happens on the international arena  this film  in a way akin to films such as  a few good men   has already been accused of breaking the rules of morality and ethics and even of racism  these accusations are pretty heavy  but also unfair  what director william friedklin truly broke was the rules of decent filmmaking  one of the earliest apparent problems with rules of engagement is its lack of credibility  the entire operation in yemen may remind us about what happens in the middle east right now  but is overdone  contrived and unrealistic  as if a chain of events had to happen in a particular manner in order for the plot to proceed  a lot of it is so cheesy that no one could possibly accept it as reality  that is precisely why its not offensive  it is completely unobjective  many stories are started and never finished  many questions are asked  but never answered  a lot of parallels are referring to nothing  it seems that neither the director  producers or the screenwriter can make up their minds about the contents of their film  is it about arab mentality  americas foreign policies  americas role in the world  corruption in the higher circles  it goes on and on  it consists of countless stories  but not a definable plot  it tries to be everything for everyone and ends up being nothing for no one  i think that it is ironic  because director william friedkins probably most acclaimed film was  the exorcist  which had a silly story  but became a rather effective film  in this case you have a strong story with many possibilities and the result is a silly film  though several scenes bare the mark of professionalism  such as the impressive battle scenes   his latest film does simply not engage  i believe that friedklin is a director that is absolutely depended on great scripts and talented producers in order to succeed  its obvious that he has neither and the result is therefore a catastrophe  the characters feel designed  unreal  merely shadows  with no life outside the conflict  even the actors can not save this film from going under  though both jackson and jones act admirably  with performances that are as good as you get with a script like this  it is not something that these great actors can boast of  they have roles that they could play blindfolded with their hand on the back  jackson is gray and jones uninteresting  the rest of the cast  including ben kingsly  blair underwood and guy pearce are simply waiting for their paychecks  the time has come for the verdict  on the charges of complete lack of objectivity  i find this film guilty  on the charges of breaking the rules of reasonable filmmaking  i find it guilty  but on the charges of racism i find this film not guilty  because of its inconclusive and often silly plot that lacks objectivity everywhere  not only when concerning the arab population  i must admit that the film is dangerously near the line of being racially offensive and i do think that screenwriter stephen gaghan went a bit too far  portraying the yemeni people almost as stereotypical hollywood badguys  this is very sad  since in a time like this it is crucial to not lose objectivity and proclaim the truth  however  it is absolutely necessary to remember that the muslim terrorists are responsible for most of the terrorist activity in and outside the united states  and that its not a coincidence that u  s  residents in the middle east  including yemen are on constant maximum alert  
neg	from dusk till dawn  directoreditor  robert rodriguez  screenwriters  quentin tarantinorobert kurtzman  story   cinematographer  guillermo navarro  cast  quentin tarantino  richie gecko   george clooney  seth gecko   juliette lewis  kate fuller   harvey keitel  jacob fuller   ernest liu  scott fuller   salma hayek  santanico pandemonium   tom savini  sex machine   fred williamson  frost   cheech marin  border guardchet pussycarlos   michael parks  texas ranger   brenda hillhouse  hostage gloria   runtime  108  dimension films  1996  reviewed by dennis schwartz its a love it or hate it film  i simply hated it  on its menu for fun  is a violent feast served up as charm and done in a tongueandcheek manner  its a serial killerhorror film farce of nonstop overthetop action and sleaze  involving decapitations  vampires  biker fights  extended gun play  and an array of gore that has to be seen to be believed  a film that regales in its vulgarity and campiness for bloodandgore  as it goes out of its way to gloss over the clich  s of the conventional bfilms  its geared only for the cult film crowd  and will make its mark there one way or the other  the plot involves two psychopath brothers  the older professional bank robber and killer seth gecko  clooney  and the perverted psychopath killer  richie  tarantino   who kills for pleasure and is also a rapist  they escape jail and go on a killing spree in wichita and then flee to a liquor store in a small texas border town  they have just robbed a bank and killed a number of cops  they have also taken a middleaged bank teller as a hostage  in the liquor store they kill a texas ranger and the store clerk  and burn down the store  stopping off in a flophouse motel  richie rapes and slaughters the hostage  these scenes are all done with an eye for comedy and parody  if thats possible  on the tv news  it says they have killed 16 so far and most are texas rangers  the brothers plan to get to mexico and meet carlos  cheech   who will give them a place of sanctuary for thirty percent of their illegal take  with road blocks and car searches at the border  the brothers commandeer a motor home of a vacationing family who stopped at their motel so that the father could sleep in a real bed  there is the father  jacob fuller  keitel   who just resigned as a minister because he lost faith ever since his wife died in a car accident  his sexy 20yearold  innocent daughter  kate  lewis   and  her shy brother scott  liu   its not explained how he happens to be chinese  the story really becomes bizarre when they get across the border and get ready to meet carlos in a barwhorehouse for truckers and bikers called the titty twister  the place is open from dawn to dusk  thus the films title  heres where rodriguez has a chance to throw convention out the window and have some absurd fun  as the place turns out to be a vampire hangout  it sells sex to its patrons  and has exotic stripper santanico pandemonium  hayek  do her alluring strip before turning into a vampire  the brothers and their hostages have to fight their way out of the place  as the vampires keep coming and the killings become the films staple  this supposedly clever script did nothing but turn me off  though there were a few funny moments in a film that was dripping with special effects and spent most of its script in finding novel ways to showcase its killings  ill take a pass on this one  its just not my style of a film  the characters were as empty as the story  and the film was an easy one to forget  
neg	plot  a little boy born in east germany  named hansel  loves the american music  one day  he gets the opportunity to meet and marry an american g  i   but first  he must get a sex change  enter hedwig   once married  the two move to the states  but quickly thereafter  get a divorce  at that point  hedwig starts writing music and meets another confused boy  who soon turns into a star  that boy also turns his back on hedwig  and it isnt long before hedwig puts together hisher own band and tours the states via seafood restaurants  this is the story of hisher life  told via flashbacks and musical numbers  critique  an artsyfartsy musical with great songs and a superb performance by john cameron mitchell  doesnt really come together as a whole  with overthetop symbolism  incoherence and too much pretension to retain my interest all the whole way through  in fact  this isnt so much of a realistic  articulate  behindthescenes look at the rise of a rock n roll star  as it is an ambiguous  overly poetic and incomprehensible struggle of a man  his sexuality and his identity as a whole person on this planet  i guess that i was expecting the former going in  the film is somewhat interesting to a point  but i was personally never able to involve myself too much  as the basic symbolic and incongruent nature of the film left me feeling cold and distant  but it is definitely tuned to a certain type of audience  chances are that if you are a fan of the wall  the rocky horror picture show or even priscilla  queen of the desert  the elements tangled in this movie will likely strike your fancy  some of the characters in this film even ask the audience to sing along at some point  and provide the lyrics of their song  onscreen   well  i personally dont care for those films  and didnt really get into the whole  show  atmosphere of this movie either  i guess i mightve looked at it all too literally  but like i said earlier  i just didnt care enough about the characters to delve into the  so the butterfly represents his freedom   side of things  all i know is that the film left me with many questions unanswered and didnt make me feel any more fulfilled  what was hedwigs relationship with that other member of his band  with the beard   what happened with hedwig and tommy gnosis at the end of the movie   was that an actual sequence or a fantasy   what ever happened to the lawsuit  and more    all of which were part of the film and interested me somewhat  if the only idea behind the film was for the main character to uncover hisher sexuality  then thats one thing  but as many of the relationships and situations presented themselves in this movie  i wanted some resolution to those pieces as well  i didnt get it  the films humor also didnt tickle my funny bone either  then again  ive seen many a film in these arthouse theatres in which patrons are rolling down the aisles with laughter  while all i see is a tiny bit of whimsy on the screen  some of these films are also better enjoyed with the added  atmosphere  of a plant called marijuana  and i can certainly see how this movie ingrains within itself some nifty visual elements  in order to jazz up that experience  but being sober as i was and expecting a coherent  funny  musical with a transsexual twist  i didnt leave the theater very satisfied  i came out having watched an existential story of a confused man caught up in a musical lifestyle  wrapped in metaphors  dramatics and more questions than answers  i will  on the other hand  definitely hand some props out to the lead in this film  john cameron mitchell  who is also the man who wrote  directed and created the play on which this movie is based  and the tunes  which will likely be enjoyed by anyone who digs the sex pistols  david bowie and the whole 70s glamrock scene  note  btw  it seems as though pretty much every single  mainstream  critic in the united states loved this movie from top to bottom  and thought that it was really funny to boot    so you might want to take that into consideration yourself  but having said that  the main reason that i started this dinky website in the first place was because films like this would sometimes be uniformly applauded by the  official  critics  while i  a regular  joblo  in the audience  just wouldnt get what all the fuss was about  this movie is a perfect example of why i continue to write movie reviews  wheres joblo coming from  moulin rouge  810   grease  810   everyone says i love you  510   the opposite of sex  810   dancer in the dark  510   o brother  where art thou  710   loves labours lost  810  
neg	8mm is not going to enlighten your day  its a dark  grimy and disturbing portrait of underworld snuff films and filled with excessive violence  not only do you need the stomach to make it through this bloated mess  youll require a lot of patience as well  nicolas cage seems to be doing quite a bit of overacting as of late  he wore a bizarre getup and did a lot of yelling in the terminally awful snake eyes  and here he attempts a performance that can relate to someone completely losing their grip on reality  cage plays private investigator tom welles  praised for his secrecy and reliability  at home  welles is a family man  with a wife  catherine keener  and a small daughter to take care of  his new assignment is a bizarre one  the wife of a formally deceased millionaire has hired him to solve a mystery regarding a film found in her husbands safe  the film appears to be some kind of cheap pornography involving a teenage girl and a masked man  until the girl is brutally murdered  or so it seems  welles  of course  begins to burrow deeper and deeper to uncover the truth  and the more he becomes involved in this disturbing case  the more he gets in over his head  he hires an adult book store clerk named max california  joaquin phoenix  to be his guide through the ugly underworld of pornography  max knows what welles is getting himself into  and explains  you dance with the devil  the devil dont change  the devil changes you   these turn out to be very wise words  8mm has a premise that begs for a better execution  the setup is slick and well played  as cage uncovers the identity of the girl and travels to hollywood to locate her  this is where everything goes awry  although director joel schumacher succeeds in frightening us with his grotesque portrait of the real world  he forgot to inject any interest or excitement to the formula  everything about the movie becomes dull and lifeless  repelling the viewer like the effect of bug spray to insects  although it had enormous potential  the third act of 8mm is a total bust  leaving intrigued audiences in a baffling state of extreme disappointment as the proceedings spiral out of control  cage is the films sole flame of energy  his performance is actually believable  but soon the directors demands start to weigh heavily on his shoulder and he begins stumbling along in desperation  still  youve got to give him credit for holding this project together as long as he did  for that is no easy feat when you consider the problems at hand  welles trail soon leads him to a bizarre filmmaker  played convincingly by peter stormare  who is notorious for the hardesthitting snuff films in the industry  this is where cage goes over the edge into a serial killerlike phase  in which he must take revenge on all those who murdered the innocent girl in the film  he tracks down the masked man responsible for the killing  chris bauer   and they have a bloody brawl in the local cemetery  a fight sequence that would look more at home in a schwarzenegger movie  written by andrew kevin walker  8mm dissipates into a poor mans seven  with all the violence but little of the effectiveness that made the latter such a chilling masterpiece  furthermore  what has become of joel schumacher  the director has recently experienced a major drought  slumming in the depths of dismal flop after flop  batman and robin  anyone    this putrid thriller is certainly not going to revive his career  so perhaps schumacher should start exploring his lighter side  
neg	synopsis  original  jurassic park  survivor alan grant  neill  is tricked by paul and amanda kirby  macy and leoni  into leading an expedition to an island overrun by dinosaur  to rescue their stranded son  grants team is picked off one by one as they encounter dinosaurs both new and familiar  and grant grows to realise that some breeds are more intelligent than he previously thought  review  there is one reason why  jurassic park iii  is better than its immediate predecessor   the lost world  jurassic park   the latter wasted 129 minutes of my life  the former  only 94  the first  park  was a marvellous film  full of aweinspiring sights  interesting characters  and genuine thrills  its two successors have been pale imitations  amounting to hundredmilliondollar bgrade horror movies  at least this third entry realises it  whereas  the lost world  tried to justify its existence with a ludicrous and overextended plot   jurassic park iii  simply sticks its characters on an island with a bunch of dinosaurs and lets the mayhem begin  there is a desperate sense of deja vu presiding over this movie  the computeranimated dinos are no longer novel or exciting  and even the firsttime presence of aerial lizards scarcely improves the situation  remember that wondrous first trolley ride through the park in the original movie  nothing in this rehash even comes close  add in execrable dialogue from screenwriters buchman  payne and taylor  and phonedin performances by the normally capable macy and leoni  and it is difficult to recommend the film to anyone but dino enthusiasts  at least neill makes some effort to retain the dignity of his character  and there is much less gore than in  the lost world   making this installment more suitable for children  
neg	the characters in jonathan lynns  the whole nine yards   yet another in an endless recent string of mob comedies  1999s  analyze this  and  mickey blue eyes   2000s  gun shy    are rarely ever written as real people  but merely as onedimensional caricatures  when an added layer to one of their personalities is revealed  it is not to service the character development  or to naturally offer up instinctive characterizations  but to accommodate the convoluted plot  in a lightweight comedy  you might say  it is not required to have perfectly realized figures  just as long as they get the job done  unfortunately  for a comedy to work  it has to at least succeed at being funny  and if there was a laughometer available  id guess that it briefly ascended around 2  5 of the time for me  suffice to say  the comedy in  the whole nine yards  works about as well as the brokendown lawnmower in my backyard  and when a giggle surprisingly arises every twenty to thirty minutes  it is by sheer luck  nicholas  oz  oseransky  matthew perry  is an amateur dentist living in the quiet suburbs of quebec  trapped in a hateful marriage with the conniving sophie  rosanna arquette  delightfully hamming it up with a clearly artificial frenchcanadian accent   one day oz sees that someone is moving into the house nextdoor  walking over to greet him  he is horrified to discover it is jimmy  the tulip  tudeski  bruce willis   a former contract killer for the mafia who has just been released from prison  once getting to know him and becoming his friend  oz is more comfortable with his identity  but for sophie  it means a possible hitman to do away with oz  in her scheme  sophie sends oz to chicago to cash in by informing his old mob boss  kevin pollak  about jimmys whereabouts  but in the process  he falls in love with jimmys wife  cynthia  natasha henstridge   who is being held hostage  upon return to quebec  and with one contrivance after the next  ozs dental assistant  jill  amanda peet   is overjoyed to discover that he lives beside  the tulip   and forces him to set up a meeting  since jills dream in life turns out being a contract killer herself  have you got all that  because there is more  much  much more  and this is a movie that  without credits  is little over 90 minutes and feels only like an hour   the whole nine yards  is an ultimately unsatisfying and emptyheaded excursion into wellworn terrain already set by far superior pictures  how the cast  most of which are respectable actors  got caught up in such a cliched  deficient film remains a mystery  unless they thought it might aspire to match the congenial screwball zaniness of director lynns 1985 comedy classic   clue  the movie   going into the theater  preliminary comparisons between the two movies were unavoidable  but by the twentyminute mark  when i had chuckled once and laughed nary a single time  it was clear this production was in serious trouble  since the entire running time depends on the mechanisms of the plot  and the screenplay  inauspiciously written by mitchell kapner  collapses with every failing  comedy  bit  the film is an inevitable dead zone in the way of substance and  frequently  entertainment value   the whole nine yards  is neither facetious nor  aside from the subplot about jills shocking eagerness to become a professional hitwoman  inventive  and more often than not  just lies there  the film spinning drearily around and around in the projector  but never igniting any sort of spark  a few select actors do what they can with the material  while others make no impact at all  on the mediocre side are actually those playing the two central characters  matthew perry and bruce willis  perry  innocuously enjoyable on tvs  friends   plays the same exact sitcomstyle character in all of his movies  from 1997s  fools rush in  to 1999s  three to tango    and it has become a crushing bore  meanwhile  willis makes next to no impression  and because of the limited guise of his jimmy  the tulip  tudeski  oftentimes disappears into the background  their three female counterparts fare noticeably better  best of all is natasha henstridge  far more radiant than in the exploitative  species  movies  who adds unanticipated depth and emotion to cynthia  henstridge has the talent  for sure  to break out of these countless throwaway roles  but first she must fire her agent  amanda peet has a lot of fun as the quirkily straightforward and giddy jill  and seems to know more about the art of comedic payoff than even perry who  thus far  has strived on a career based solely on comedy  it is too bad  then  that peet is unnecessarily asked to disrobe in a climactic scene  with the obvious sole purpose being to show off her breasts  finally  rosanna arquette is awful as sophie  but something tells me that was her purpose  and her clear overacting only aids in brightening up her limited screen time  also popping up is michael clarke duncan  fresh off an oscar nomination for his role in  the green mile   as jimmys largely built friend and fellow killer  frankie figs  when  the whole nine yards  eventually sputters to its underwhelming conclusion  one is left pondering how such a film ever got greenlit  a great deal of movies of this type have been made in the past  and this one is nothing but a duplication of better films  so what was the point  without a passable screenplay or any notable technical accomplishments   the whole nine yards  rests solely on the presumed charm of the cast  and half of the actors are not charming at all  now  what does that tell you  
neg	take two old and dying men  a lifetime of regrets  a house full of sins  a thoroughly despicable man  enough lies  insecurities and other character defects to keep a team of psychiatrists gainfully employed  then add a inexplicable meteorological and amphibianbased phenomenon and you will have summed up magnolia  the newest film from paul thomas anderson  boogie nights   the movie tells multiple stories  weaving them together  or overlapping them during the course of its three hour running time  would that the stories were worth the telling  earl partridge  jason robards  a thousand acres  is dying of cancer  bedridden  in much pain  it is obvious that his time is growing short  his much younger wife played by julianne moore  an ideal husband  is surprised to find herself struggling with his impending death  having married for money  she discovers that she has actually fallen in love with the old guy and regrets having cheated and lied  earl regrets having cheated on his first wife and estranging himself from his only son  tom cruise  eyes wide shut   now a misogynist selfhelp guru who teaches men how to  seduce and destroy   his sexual and vulgar perspective on malefemale relationships is so overthetop as to be utterly unbelievable  meanwhile  jimmy gator  philip baker hall  the insider  is also dying of cancer  not as physically incapacitated as earl  jimmy is still able to perform his duties as the lovable host of a longrunning quiz show which pits adults against children  the current whizquizkid is stanley spector  jeremy blackman in his film debut  who is tired of the pressure of performing and is willing to call it quits  on the other hand  quiz kid donnie smith  william macy  mystery men  would like nothing more than to return to the spotlight when he was a  somebody   his pathetic life is souring as he can no longer capitalize on his brief 15 minutes of fame which stanley is all too eager to relinquish  jimmy has his own family crisis as his drugaddict daughter  melora walters  boogie nights  refuses to have anything to do with him for reasons which are not disclosed to us until the end of the film  grabbing at one last attempt at happiness she reaches out to a softhearted cop  john c  reilly  never been kissed  even as she tries to push herself away from him because she deems herself not worthy of his affection  this dysfunctional group carries on for what seems to be an interminable twothirds of the movie  and then it gets worse  literally raining frogs  yes  frogs  assuming it to be an intended deusexmachina device  it is an ineffective one because it doesnt seem to faze the characters much  oh  they may step gingerly around the splattered frog corpses littering the streets  but otherwise  the frog shower didnt seem to change their behavior or pattern of living  or dying   there is simply too much going on in this movie and most of it is distasteful to watch  mr  anderson further obscures the film by incorporating a loud and intrusive sound track that often drowned out the dialogue  a character who apparently rapped a significant clue to a plot development which was completely unintelligble  and a heavy handed segment of  historical  occurances containing ironic twists which set up absolutely nothing  one of the recurring themes is found in a line donnie quotes   we may be done with the past  but the past is not done with us   this is an absolute lie  god is in the forgiveness business  in fact  as we humbly ask for forgiveness and repent or change our offending mindset  gods word says that he not only forgives  he also forgets   i  even i  am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake  and will not remember thy sins   isaiah 43  25 kjv the spiritual one who keeps bringing up our unrighteous past is the same one who wants to keep us in a state of condemnation  dont let him  next time your spiritual adversary reminds you of your past  take great pleasure in reminding him of his future  he hates that  
neg	so much for sweet returns  after smart horror films were starting to be made again after the exploitative 80s slasher movies  starting with 1996s  scream   and followed by  scream 2    urban legend   and the original   i know what you did last summer   a film like   i still know what you did last summer   was bound to be made sooner or late  it is a perfect example of the exact reason why horror films temporarily burned out  and that is because they reached for the lowestcommondenominator in filmmaking  favoring nonstop deaths and gore for suspense  and trading in fleshed out  likable characters for onedimensional nitwits  it has been exactly one year since julie james  jennifer love hewitt  suffered through the ordeal of being terrorized by ben willis  a psychopathic fisherman whom her friends and she accidentally hit in the middle of the road  and then  thinking he was dead  dumped him into the ocean  since then  julie has relocated to boston university  and although often paranoid and haunted by bad dreams  she has been able to put her life back together  when julies friend  karla  brandy   is called up by a radio station and answers correctly what the capital of brazil is  she wins a vacation to the bahamas for four people  which also includes karlas horny boyfriend  tyrell  mekhi phifer   and will  matthew settle   who karla sets julie up with after her own boyfriend  ray  freddie prinze jr   also returning from the original   doesnt show up  when they reach the secluded island  they discover it is the last day of the open season  and will be stranded there for the 4th of july weekend with a few employees to fend off a violent storm headed for them  of course  julie  her friends  and the workers arent the only ones there  as the murderous ben willis  dressed in fisherman garb  returns to seek revenge on julie once and for all  it is a sad state of affairs when a movie like   i still know what you did last summer   is made  i am a very big fan of horror movies  and so it is especially disheartening to find out that this sequel to  ikwydls   which i am a fan of  is almost an exact replica of a  friday the 13th  movie  while the original focused more on the story and characters  as well as genuinely suspenseful moments  thanks to the screenplay by kevin williamson  who didnt return to write the sequel  and it shows    i still know     has no story to speak of  and is so vacuous of ideas  that the filmmakers  were forced to have a murder occur every five minutes just to keep the audience interested  also gone are any signs of character development  and since every single character died before i got to know them  all i was left with was to stare at the screen  indifferent to what was going on  while i cared about the fates of the characters in the original  it made no difference to me in this sequel who lived and died  they were all paperthin and pointless  except to become victims to the lethal hook of the fisherman  another element that made the original so memorable were some superbly crafted setpieces  like the store sequence with sarah michelle gellar  but there are none to speak of in this sequel  although they do come close at one moment with brandy   since so many people were killed every couple minutes  the suspense and scares evaporated faster than salt in water  also of note is the mystery of the second killer  and accomplice to ben  but it is obvious from the first frame who it is  and so i couldnt even have fun at that  like i did in the  scream  movies and   urban legend   it figures that just as slasher films were starting to get some recognition again  a film would come along and ruin it for everyone else  maybe the people who made   i still know what you did last summer   should have realized that in order to make a good movie  you must have a screenplayor at least one that isnt such a black hole for thoughts and ideas  the ending of the film inevitably leaves the door wide open for a third part  but judging from this amazingly lackluster first sequel  everyone involved should have quit while they were still ahead  
neg	around the end of 1998  a japanese cartoon came to the usa television  and really wasnt that big  in fact not many people even knew what pokemon was  but in 1999 it hit big with kids and adults alike  and became one of the biggest franchises and merchandise seller of all time  in fact it even spawned a big screen adventure pokemon  the first movie which for what it was  wasnt all that bad  it grossed 31 million in its opening weekend  and went on to make almost 90 million  fans thought it was great and now is a second movie in the pokemon craze   pokemon  the movie 2000  which is far inferior to the original animated movie  first up is the plot  which there really isnt much of  in fact the plot what there is  a bad guy trying to destroy the ancient never before seen pokemon  lugia  is about it  except the fact that ash kethcum the worlds best pokemon trainer must try and stop him before he destroys this one pokemon forever  well there you go  of course ash is followed by his friends misty  brock  gary and his pokemon friends  pikachu  squirtle  charizard  the usual  even though the first movie wasnt a great film  it was definately an enjoyable wellmade movie with an actual thin storyline  this new movie however is nothing but garbage  there is nothing good to it storywise  and its only good thing comes from some plush animation and colors  compared to the first film  this movie is awfully bland  from its opening titles  to the end titles it tries its best to work  but fails miserably at every corner  the characters are 1dimensional  the story thin as chicken broth  and the writing very lame  even the so called action scenes are extremely lame  and falls before it even gets a chance to go  the voices even arent that good and almost feels like the stars dont want to be there  like they can tell that this is an extremel bad movie  which it certainly is  the film has one thing going for it and that is the animation  although not up to disney standards  it is still very good with some interesting cgis and very colorful animation  the colors jump out at you very fast  and seem very nicely put on film  why a film this bad got such a good treatment with its animation is still a question to be answered  hopefully pokemon 3 next year will be much better than this trash  for now watch the first one  its much much better  
neg	its a stupid little movie that trys to be clever and sophisticated  yet trys a bit too hard  with the voices of woody allen  gene hackman  jennifer lopez  sylvester stallone  and sharon stone  this computeranimated yakfest  think toy story 1996 filled with used merchandising  is one for the anteaters  the main story is the independence of a worker named z  allen   he wants more to life than just digging away underground for the colony  when he finds out about insectopia   a mythical place where all insects can run free  z  along with his colonys princess  stone   journey out into the world to find a meaning for life  about 15 minutes into the picture  i began to wonder what the point of the film was  halfway through  i still didnt have an answer  by the end credits  i just gave up and ran out  antz is a mindless mess of poor writing and even poorer voiceovers  allen is nonchalant  while i would have guessed  if i hadnt seen her in the mighty and basic instinct  stone cant act  even in a cartoon  this film is one for the bugs  unfunny and extremely dull  hey  a bugs life may have a good time doing antz in  
neg	godzilla is a nuclear freak  he is a lizard that has been mutated over the years and has become a new species  one that has a foot as long as this bus  and a claw as long as this sign  this aquatic creature made its first attack in the pacific islands  he tore up a ship that carried dozens of japanese men  one survived  only he was left to recount the terror that he had seen  he was merely able to repeat the words  godzilla    godzilla    godzilla   the film then introduces us to matthew broderick  a biologist who has been studying the fascinating growth of chernobyl earthworms   theyre 17 larger than they used to be   he proclaims  the u  s  military pulls him off this three year project and assigns him to figure out what godzilla is  and  boy  does he find out  and  boy  does godzilla suck  i hate to use such a word in a review  something that is supposed to inform my audience  but i really need to drive this one home and i refuse to use explitives  it is unbelieveable to me how the producers of this movie saw the final cut and said   ok  its great  lets show this puppy   roland emmerich needs a good horse whipping  his latest piece of trash makes id4 look like a masterpiece of modern american cinema  and if steven spielberg had never made the jurassic park films  emmerich and his team of talentchallenged imbeciles would never have had a clue as to how the creature should look  let me give you a few examples of this terrible attempt at filmmaking  i plan on giving some things away here  belive me  godzilla holds no surprises for anyone with an iq higher than their shoe size  so    no worries  however  if you are looking for that  first time thrill  and you refuse to let me do you this favor  by all means  stop reading now  a   godzilla makes his first ever attack in the pacific islands  he next strikes in new york city  um    anyone have a map handy  b   the mayor of new york city is a heavy set individual with parted gray hair and thick glasses  his name is mayor ebert  his assistant is named gene  gene gives ebert a thumbs down at the end of the film  i couldnt make this up if i tried  folks  c   stay with me on this one    ok  godzilla can out run torpedoes  hank azaria can out run godzilla babies   which look more like jurassic park raptors than the jurassic park raptors   d   the u  s  military  upon realization that godzilla has disappeared after running rampant through the city  decides that he  might be hiding in a building   e    oh yeah  i can go all the way to e   godzilla strikes at manhattan  manhattan  an island approximately the size of san francisco holds three million people  they evactuate to new jersey in about one day  no problem  f   early on  they bait godzilla with fish   he likes fish  you know   the thing is on an island  the atlantic ocean is three steps east  but pile a whole bunch of grouper on fifth and 57th    oh hes gonna come running  g   you know what  ill stop with the list now    the alphabet isnt big enough anyway  the dialogue makes me wonder if producer dean devlin had his five year old do a rewrite   the kid is good   he must have said  maria pitillo is looking to become a name in hollywood by starring in this potential blockbuster  bad move  maria  acting doesnt get much worse than her turn as brodericks exflame  matthew broderick is a good actor  but youd never give him a chance if godzilla were the only film of his youd seen  jean reno needs to pick his american films a bit more carefully  at times  godzilla seems to be headed toward a zucker  abrahams  zucker film   airplane   naked gun   the jokes are indeed that bad  but just when you think the filmmakers are having fun with you  they take themselves seriously  how dare they  godzilla would have been better if it had only thrown in visual sight gags and fart jokes  at least then we would know we were supposed to laugh  each and every character in godzilla is beyond stupid and i was really pulling for the beast to kill more of them  emmerich did do one thing  though   and ive no idea if it was intentional   he made me sympathize with godzilla  his attackers were so damn dumb that i felt sorry for him being pelted with bullets and missles  but what made me feel even sorrier for him was that his famous name will always be attatched to one of the worst films hollywood has ever produced  
neg	after the recent animated debacles of   a rugrats movie   and  a bugs life   i am seriously considering raising my highly negative rating on dreamworks other insect film from october   antz   i hated that movie  and yet  it is so much better than these latest two excursions   a bugs life   is the second animated insect film in the last two months  and i hoped for the best  considering it was done in the wonderful style of pixars last film  1995s  toy story   but in no way does   a bugs life   even remotely match up to that  flik  david foley   an ant  who along with his many comrades  has the job every year of gathering up the seasonal harvest  only to have to give half of it away to the dominating grasshoppers  led by hopper  kevin spacey   flik  however  feels all alone and unwanted in the world  especially after he accidentally loses all of their food  and the ants are threated by hopper to gather up a whole other seasons load by the time the last summer leaf falls from the trees  banished from ant island  flik leaves the colony in search of some strong reinforcement to help out  but through a misunderstanding  returns with a handful of helpless circus bugs  including a walking stick  david hyde pierce   a dung beetle  brad garrett   a gypsy moth  madeline kahn   a male ladybug  denis leary   and a caterpillar  joe ranft    a bugs life   has one thing going for it  only one thing  with its glorious  bright colors  the computergenerated animation is a spectacle to look at  the film itself  unfortunately  is a lifeless  unamusing contraption without any of the flair or excitement of   toy story   the characters in   a bugs life   are an assortment of either unlikable or dull insects without any charm or personality  other than to stand around and recite arbitrary and thoroughly unfunny oneliners  the thin story was also stretched out to a nearly unbearable 94 minutes  and it often felt as if they ran out of ideas throughout  and so they made up pointless scenes to pass as timefiller  after giving such scathing reviews to the animated films from this year  i was beginning to think that i had simply outgrown them  but then i realized this is just not so  i still adore almost all of the older disney films  and many of the newer ones  such as 1989s   the little mermaid   1991s   beauty and the beast   1993s   the nightmare before christmas   and yes  1995s   toy story   maybe this has just been a bad year for childrens films  and hopefully  the upcoming   the prince of egypt   will not be a disappointment  as for   a bugs life   i did not enjoy anything about it  not the story  not the characters  and not even the voiceover work  which was far more lively in   antz    a bugs life   goes down as yet another failure for disney  and it is a sad state of affairs when their best film in the last two years has been the minor jonathan taylor thomas picture   ill be home for christmas   
neg	once upon a time jeanclaude van damme was a decent action hero  the muscles from brussels bursted into the hollywood market with mindless adventure films  boasting his spectacular martialarts ability  some of these excursions were fun  but now it seems like watching a van damme movie has become a painful chore  with no rewards but the virtually guaranteed helping of mindnumbing action  and when the action goes sour  what is there left to enjoy  ill explain  knock off is about a pair of counterfeit jeans salesmen working out of an office in hong kong  marcus ray  van damme   a babemagnet and stylish dresser  heads up the company with an annoying weasel of a partner  rob schneider   they become part of a plot involving microbombs implanted in counterfeit jeans  seemingly by a mole in the business  im going to reveal about everything in the next paragraph  so if you want a review devoid of spoilers  skip onto the next one  im not quite sure who gives a crap  but ill issue a warning anyhow  tommy is really working with the cia  his boss  a very hammy and flat paul sorvino  is the mole  and he wants to cause carnage with these tiny but immensely powerful super weapons  he even stoops so low to put them into childrens toys  if you thought this plot outline sounded intriguing  then you probably will enjoy knock off  if you think that this ridiculous setup couldnt even fill five minutes of screen time without causing you to roll over laughing  this might not be your cup of tea  knock off sucks  it stoops to ridiculous levels that most individuals could only conjure up in horrific nightmares  it amazes me how far these producers will go to sell something  simply because van damme is the star  the plot is pathetic garbage strung together by inane action sequences that will baffle your mind  the performances are so wooden you could use them to row a canoe  and the action itself is an absolute catastrophe  director tsui hark  who teamed with van damme in the superior  but still lamebrained double team  is at the helm  and he would rather attempt to dazzle us with fantastic camera angles than engage us with the plot  i suppose i enjoyed some of the camera work  but the incessant desperation of it all made me rather nauseous  the picture freezes in the middle of an action sequence  speeds are altered consistently  and the camera tricks mostly apply to traveling up gun barrels as the weapons are fired  it all sounds very cool  trust me  it isnt  as much as it scars me to say this  har  har   van damme is terrible  sure  he does lots of fancy kickboxing moves and dodges giant crates with the greatest of ease  he looks like hes doing a bad impersonation of jackie chan  and his performance is stiff and tired  i hate to say it  but perhaps its time for mr  van damme to give up his day job  its really a test of endurance watching knock off  i suppose theres some enjoyment derived from schneiders character  who is extremely annoying  but provides the films better moments  and what is the beautiful lela rochon doing in this movie  hopefully she grabbed her paycheck and then fled the premises like an olympic sprinter  knock off doesnt even stand strong as a mindless but entertaining action film  like a handful of van dammes others  no  this movie is an embarrassment to the entire action genre of modern filmmaking  and considering how low hollywood has stooped as of late in that department  that is certainly not saying much  note to self  avoid universal soldier 2  the return upon release in august  99  
neg	the year is barely a week old  and there is already a candidate for the worst of 1997the relic  a wouldbe chiller thats more successful at making the audience laugh than scream  in this ridiculous film from uberhack peter hyams  whose last two pictures were dreadful jeanclaude van damme vehicles   a creature that feeds on the hypothalamuses  hypothalamii   of humans and animals goes on a killing spree in a chicago museum  how did this creature come into existence  and why does it feed on hormones  the  scientific  explanation cooked up by the fouryes  fourcredited screenwriters  amy holden jones  john raffo  rick jaffa  and amanda silver  takes  suspension of disbelief  to new heights  even by monster movie standards  but as cockamamie as the science is in the film  it isnt quite as hard to swallow as the casting of the clueless penelope ann miller as a brilliant molecular biologist who specializes in evolutionary genetics  miller acts as if she wants an oscar nomination  turning every scene that requires the slightest display of emotion into an overblown oscar clip  complete with piercing wails and glycerine tears  give it up  penelopeits a monstermovie  on the flip side  tom sizemore just phones in his performance as a police lieutenant  but his role is so thankless that its hard to imagine it being played any more effectively  its quite funny to see a film indulge  with the straightest of faces  in all those cheesy horror movie cliches that wes craven lampooned so well  and so recently  in scream  for example  in one early scene  a museum security guard goes into a bathroom stall late at night  ok  we all know whats coming  but as if we didnt need any more confirmation  he pulls out a joint and starts puffing away  everyone knows what happens to people who do drugs in a scary movie  and later  miller frantically runs out of a museum exhibit after she hears some suspicious heavy breathing  does she make a beeline for the front door  of course notshe runs into the ladies room and cowers in a stall  with all the cliches  it is only fitting the films climax offers what is perhaps the most overused one in recent film  that of someone outrunning a fireball  if the relic is truly  the next evolution in terror  as the poster states  then the horror filmand humanityis in even worse shape than we thought  
neg	susan grangers review of  two can play that game   screen gems  since the success of  waiting to exhale   there have been several romantic comedies about africanamerican professionals  this female revenge fantasy  vivica a  fox plays shante smith  a stunning ad exec who seems to have reached the pinnacle of success  a mansion  a sporty car and an idyllic relationship with a hunky  hotshot lawyer  morris chestnut  shes at a point in her life when she dispenses advice to her grateful girlfriends  monique  wendy racquel robinson  tamala jones    when your man messes up  no matter how small it is   she smugly decrees   yuh gots to punish him   so when she catches her hot man dancing at a bar with a smart and sexy rival  gabrielle union  she devises her own version of  the rules   a 10day  tough love  emotionally punishing plan to get him back  unfortunately  writerdirector mark brown   how to be a player   breaks the cardinal rule of romantic comedy  you have to like the protagonist  and shrill  selfcongratulatory shante smith is a smirking  superficial  spiteful shrew who doesnt realize that rational rules cannot always be applied to love  having her talk directly into the camera gets stale very quickly and the  day one    day two  titlecard device underscores the tedium  comic anthony anderson scores as chestnuts boisterous bestfriend  and singer bobby brown does a cameo as a scuzzy mechanic whos given a smooth makeover by ms  robinson  but the outtakes over the closing credits contain more humor than the film itself  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   two can play that game  is smarmy if slick 4  filled with misogynistic attitude and blatant product placements  cocacola  miller genuine draft  but little else  in this rrated  for explicit sexual language   pseudohip battle of the sexes  the audience loses  
neg	susan grangers review of  glitter   20th centuryfox  theres less here than meets the eye  or  put it this way  if you thought madonna was awful in  shanghai surprise   mariah careys worse in this reworking of  a star is born   she plays billie frank who  despite being abandoned by her singeralcoholic mother  valerie pettiford   believes shes destined for greatness because everyone tells her she is   youve got this amazing gift  and you gotta use it   her roommate says   your voice  its incredible   says another singer   i aint never met anyone like you   proclaims julian  dice  black  max beesley   the hot new york dj who becomes her svengalilike producerlover  problem is  her signature song   i didnt mean to turn you on  is wretched  and when she fumes out of filming her first music video because the director wants to  exploit  her by having her wear a bikini  the audience bursts into laughter  exploit mariah carey  who chooses to wear as little as the law will allow  come on  writer kate laniers script is fatuous and director vondie curtishall doesnt have a clue how to handle the glitzy pop diva and  as a result of their incompetence  whisperyvoiced ms  carey seems to be embarrassed onscreen  she almost cringes when the camera comes in for a closeup  pursing her lips and averting her glassy eyes  talented british musician max beesley appears equally inept  and as cinematographer geoffrey simpson pans around the manhattan skyline  theres an audible audience groan when the twin towers of the world trade center come into view  perhaps one of the reasons ms  carey suffered her highlypublicized nervous breakdown this summer is because she saw a preview of this clunker  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   glitter  is a pathetic 1  right now  its tops on my list of the worst of 2001  
neg	the ads make  hanging up  seem like an upbeat comedy about a rascally father and his three daughters  anyone who went to the movie expecting that left disappointed  all of the movies funny scenes were included in the ad  so what do we get  eve marks  meg ryan  just put her father lou mozell  walter matthau  into a hospital  once upon a time  lou was a hollywood screenwriter who collaborated with his nowestranged wife  his one great moment in life was writing a film for john wayne  who gave him a giant bulletshaped trophy  now lou is senile and deteriorating rapidly  eve tries to convince her sisters georgia  diane keaton  and maddy  lisa kudrow  that their father is dying and needs them  both are slow to show concern  so devoted eve stands vigil over her father  who constantly asks for his favorite daughter georgia  while running her own business  planning special events  and caring for her son  jesse james    some comic relief comes when maddy also drops off her ailing st  bernard for eve to care for   the tension builds until all three sisters are finally in one room at one of eves events where georgia is the keynote speaker  theres a superficial resemblance to shakespeares  king lear   senile king with three daughters  one devoted saint and two selfish bitches   but the material is apparently drawn from life  sister screenwriters delia and nora ephron had parents who were a successful hollywood writing team  henry and phoebe ephron collaborated on 17 screenplays  including  desk set  and  theres no business like show business    delias novel  the basis for the film  is dedicated to henry   surprisingly  the script is as thin as an anorexics wet dream  the virtue of a semiautobiographical project would seem to be the wealth of material available  yet  the ephrons provide only the barest minimum of information about their characters  also  the spaces they inhabit seem artificial  eve lives in a house that looks like a magazine layout  no matter how putupon she is  we cant feel sorry for anyone whose house is so pristine on any given day  georgia is a famous magazine editor  and in her brief scenes while she chats on a cell phone with eve seem like the photo spread for a profile  when we first meet maddy  shes fishing at a picturesque mountain stream  i expected to see the credit  cinematography by vanity fair    and  yes  diane keaton is literally old enough to be lisa kudrows mother  to her credit  though  she looks young enough to pull it off  the one redeeming aspect of  hanging up  is that  at its core  is a truth about siblings  theres always one on which everyone else in the family relies  freeing the others to be selfish and emotionally distant  my wife is the reliable child in her family  for better or worse  my brother has the role in mine   being selfish and emotionally distant may not be fulfilling  but it is a lot less work   if you have nothing better to do than watch this movie  look for a powerful cameo by cloris leachman as the sisters mother pat  in a devastating scene  eve discovers that her mother doesnt love her  although leachman is best known for comedies like  young frankenstein  and  the mary tyler moore show   her performance here reminded me of the considerable dramatic talent she displayed in  the last picture show   bottom line  everyone involved has lived in hollywood so long they dont recognize real life anymore  
neg	this is the worst movie ive seen since the  so bad i walked out on it   jingle all the way   it is crap on toast made of crap baked in a an oven fueled by crap  it is crap through and through  nothing works in this film  as to be expected from joel schumacher  who has made only one watchable film in his entire career  that being  cousins    heres a man who admits hes a medicore director  a rather charmingly selfeffacing statement  but truth be told  he is much worse than mediocre  not all scorn should be heaped on schumacher though  akiva goldsman should not be allowed to write ever again  there is no plot anywhere  and the  dialogue  is unrelentingly shallow  preposterous  and boring  they set up mr  freeze as a tragic figure trying to cure his cryogenically frozen wife  then completely sabotage his character by giving him the lamest oneliners  it turns him into a stock maniacal villain who thoroughly enjoys his villainy instead of a brooding scientist who has spent much of his life to bringing his wife from the brink of death  but thats par for course  nothing in this film makes any sense  including half of arnold schwarzeneggers lines  as mr  freeze  arnold is given way too much dialogue to spit out at once  this is the same problem he had in  jingle all the way   and it seems that his austrian accent is getting thicker and more unintelligible as the days pass  personally  i think that he has more pull with the directors and doesnt retake scenes to make him understandable  compare his dialogue in the terminator series to the load of nonsense that streams forth in  batman  robin   apparently  james cameron knows how to get a competent performance out of arnold  uma thurman is not as bad  but nothing resembling good either  her poison ivy vamps around terribly  chewing up scenery left and right  and her pamela isley scenes are marred by subsnl standard  acting   as if shes reading off cue cards and is about to laugh at any given moment  given the  script   its a wonder it didnt happen more frequently  there is no redeeming feature in this film  not george clooney as batman  chris odonnell as robin  nor alicia silverstone as batgirl  michael gough is eerily sickly looking as alfred  as if the conceit of his illness was prompted by his cadaverous appearance  in fact  there was something unsettling about his appearance  which seems to have been accomplished without any makeup tricks  looking as if it were scenes from a documentary about a dying man  unfortunately  every scene about alfreds sickness is bungled with such incompetence that there is absolutely no emotional resonance  they just go through the motions  losing whatever impact the scenes were supposed to impart  the movie is rife with poorly choreographed fights scenes that never give any sense of a big battle  you know theres a bunch of people  but instead of a melee  schumacher decided to focus on a foot or a fist  theres never a moment of awe  wonder  or mayhem  the only interesting part of the battles scenes are the freezing effects  which are impressive  and probably expensive   even then  the fights are so full of camp and stupidity that they become unwatchable  the hockey team from hell  not even the tv series got that stupid  at least not on the grand scale of stupidity that  batman  robin  showcases   frustrating too are the various supporting characters that walk on and off with nothing to say or do  blink  and youll miss elle macpherson as julie madison  vivica fox as a  why is she even in the film  vamp in freezes lair  with all of two lines   and pat hingle as the most ineffectual commissioner gordan the batman series ever had  and in what almost seems like an effort to save on costs  vendela kirsebom has no lines as mrs  fries  she isnt even filmed well enough to look good  trust me  shes quite attractive outside of this dreck   and as if the film werent bad enough to limp along with bad direction  bad dialogue  bad performances  and bad fight scenes  there are inconsistencies and illogic galore  i know its nitpicky to ask where the hundreds of feet of cable are stored in the batarangs  why the characters arms arent ripped out of their sockets when they accomplish a onearmed batarang save after falling hundreds of feet  while holding on to another person no less   or where the moisture comes from when freezes weapon creates tons if ice  thats all traditional comic book stuff  but why does batman spring a trap for freeze at a public charity event that endanger the lives of hundreds of bystanders  why is there a big switch clearly marked   heat  in mr  freezes lair  why do countless bumbling police officers even try to take on mr  freeze hand to hand  why does alfred encourage silverstone to become batgirl and even go so far as to have a suit made for her  why do batman  robin take 10 minutes to bicker before leaving the batcave in response to an emergency  and since it established early on that ivy is using pheromones  why dont they wear masks to filter it out  i could go on and on   batman  robin  is a braindead  pointless  garish  loud film that should still reign as the  worst film of the year  by the time 1998 rolls along  note to warner bros   if youre going to make another batman film  please replace schumacher with nearly anyone  because it could actually get worse than this  what schumacher does not understand is that  comic book  doesnt automatically equal unbearable idiocy  the true equation seems to be schumacher  batman  unbearable idiocy  
neg	when i ponder childhood memories past  one of the things that always springs immediately to mind is watching the  inspector gadget  tv show with my older brother  truth be told  we were rabid fanatics  our version of cowboys and indians was chasing each other around our coffee table to the theme tune  alternating who would get to be gadget and who would be stuck playing the part of dr  claw  the inspectors arch nemesis  i was never a biggie on nostalgia  but you just cant help but have fond memories of something like that  sometimes i even find myself up at 4am watching reruns of my favorite episodes  trying to recapture some of that sense of wonder i felt as a kid  at the very least  i was expecting the new film version of the classic television series to have at least some kind of similar effect on me  despite how horrid a film may be  the simple task of rekindling even a slight feeling of nostalgia is pretty tough to screw up  so back i sat  with minimum expectations of what the movie would deliver  lets face it  exactly how good can a liveaction disney film really be    i was wise enough to steer clear from the likes of mr  magoo and george of the jungle  two previous disney adaptations   and i wish to god that i had been sharp enough to skip gadget as well  rarely has a movie left me with such an utter feeling of emptiness  as everyone else was getting up to exit the screening room after the movie had completed its assault on mankind  i was left sitting there  absolutely speechless and totally dumbfounded at what i had just seen  can something this awful truly exist in such an evolved world  right from the beginning  i knew i was in trouble  in the opening scenes  each character is introduced as if their sole purpose is to just be  to simply serve as reallife duplicates of their cartoon clones  when referring to them  people almost yell in fear that the audience will not catch on as to who a certain character is supposed to be   oh  hi penny  is brain with you     creating onedimensional replicas is one thing  having mere names take the place of them is quite another  the  plot   shall we call it  stays fairly in tune with the original series  matthew broderick stars as john brown  how creative is that    a security guard who is horribly injured by a pack of ruthless businessmen headed by scolex  why  rupert everett  for the love of god why         who himself is transformed into claw by an unfortunate chain of events  brown is then rescued and used as a prototype for a new lawenforcement technology wherein hes joined with various machine parts and some nifty gadgets to form  drumroll  please     inspector gadget  from here on out  the movie becomes a hodgepodge of stupid dialog and confusing situations  although  to be fair  my confusion could have been caused by the virtual concussion the film was inflicting upon my fragile mind   theres something about an evil gadget taking over the city  his first crime must have been swiping matt dillons dentures from theres something about mary  and it all ends with  what else   a bunch of postcredit nonsense and a cameo by don adams himself  to be honest  i wasnt much paying attention to these  treats   i was just glad that it was over  
neg	perhaps if the impostors didnt have so much going for it  it wouldnt have been such a tremendous disappointment  written  directed  and produced by one of its two stars  stanley tucci  whose last picture was the indie smash hit  big night  the impostors almost never catches fire  sputtering like a twoday old campfire  the story plays like an adlib sketch that was never polished or completed  the films other star  oliver platt  was hilarious as the senators aide in bulworth  the bloated supporting cast is a veritable cornucopia of acting talent  including woody allen  steve buscemi  hope davis  alfred molina  campbell scott  lili taylor and tony shalhoub  all are wasted save allen  who plays a theatrical director who stares in disbelief at the bad acting before his eyes   the audience will easily identify with allens sentiments   with the exception of a single original joke involving mirrorimaged subtitles  the movie engenders little genuine laughter  the stale humor is so embarrassingly bad that you will find yourself laughing sporadically at the picture rather than with it  the plot for the movie involves two starving actors  maurice  oliver platt  and arthur  stanley tucci   who accidentally end up on a cruise ship  in order to escape an angry shakespearean actor  alfred molina   who is chasing them  they dress up as ships stewards  the overthetop script has the subtlety of a sledgehammer  when the leads hide from their pursuers  arthur covers maurices mouth as he suffers an unending sneeze  at other times  we have the typical zany comedy routine where everyone chases everyone else  while darting in and out of staterooms  with the films chapters introduced like placards at a vaudeville stage  it is clear the movie wants to be taken as farce  the press notes describes how everyone that came on the set remarked at what a good time all of the actors were having  too bad they werent more concerned with the audiences potential enjoyment  the jokes  frequently framed in silence  fall like stones with such intensity that one can almost hear them hitting the ground  one wonders if anyone ever viewed the films dailies  surely  if they had  they would have realized what leaden results they were producing  it is tricky having good actors play bad ones  but  if they couldnt pull it off  they should have just given up   the show is over for this fella   steve buscemis character says towards the end  the mystery is why they didnt all give up in the beginning  there must have been a better script somewhere for such a wonderful cast  the impostors runs 1  42  it is rated r for a little profanity and would be fine for kids around 12 and up  
neg	this was the last carry on movie  if you discount carry on columbus as a carry on movie  and was made by a new production company  based in central london  this movie is about the attempts by emmanuelle prevert  suzanne danielle  to bed her husband emile the french ambassador  kenneth williams   when he seems unwilling  she is given his permission to bed anyone she likes  such as the prime minister and the u  s  ambassador  her antics get her into trouble and the british press spread these rumours all over their front pages  she is invited to talk on television to set the record straight but only confirms the rumours instead  meanwhile  theodore valentine  larry dann  is in love with emmannuelle after a chance encounter in the toilet of the concorde and is determined to marry her  however  she is only interested in restoring her husbands ardour which seems a little difficult after emiles accident with a church spire  this film is the second worst carry on movie  the worst being carry on england  it is embarassing to see some of the remaining regulars struggle through this diabolical script by lance peters and try to pull off some of the crude and tasteless jokes that he has written  newcomers suzanne danielle and beryl reid  as mrs  valentine  are mildly funny  but larry dann as theodore is excruciatingly bad  kenneth williams only appears in a few scenes and his lacklustre performance is warranted  given the script  the small parts for jack douglas as lyons the butler  joan sims as mrs  dangle  kenneth connor as leyland the chauffeur  and peter butterworth as richmond  are worthless and embarassing  in fact  all four parts are surplus to requirements  however  the only humourous scene in the film is when the four of them and emmannuelle talk about their most amourous escapades  an awful script  a terrible collection of jokes  very poor production values  especially the scene where emmannuelle takes her clothes off at st  james palace   a ludicrous and cringeworthy musical score  and a nonexistent plot or storyline  its just a succession of awful set pieces about who emmannuelle will bed next  jack douglas is not so annoying but is more boring  joan sims and peter butterworth are wasted  and kenneth connor and kenneth williams put in some poor performances as leyland and emile  a complete waste of time  this movie was trying to catch up with the new sexually permissive seventies  it was a certificate 15 film but by 1978  there was little interest in this kind of film and it flopped at the box office and was only given its premiere on uk terrestrial television in april 1998  avoid at all costs  
neg	if youre debating whether or not to see breakfastofchampions  ask yourself one simple question  do you want to see nick nolte in lingerie  the only people who would get much enjoyment from alan rudolphs chaotic adaptation of the kurt vonnegut novel is the crosssection of the population with the unhealthy urge to see that unpleasant sight  everyone elseand im hoping thats most peoplewould be wise to steer clear of this excrutiatingly unfunny mess  actually  though  the sight of nolte in high heels is one of the more amusing things about this muddle  which focuses dwayne hoover  bruce willis   the owner of dwayne hoovers exit 11 motor village in midland city  not only is he a huge success as a businessman  hes also something of a celebrity  his face made recognizable by an ongoing series of television commercials  with a nice home and family to boot  dwayne appears to have it all the ingredients to be happyyet hes not  his wife celia  barbara hershey  is perpetually in a pillinduced haze  his son george  lukas haas  is a flamboyant lounge singer who goes by the stage name  bunny   not only that  the environmental protection agency is on dwaynes ass over a building development project  its enough to send dwayne on a nervous breakdownthat is  if he doesnt succeed in blowing his brains out first  meanwhile  midland city is about to host a fine arts festival  and the guest of honor is one kilgore trout  albert finney   a writer who is far from the renowned author the festivals organizer  buck henry  was led to believein fact  hes a penniless hack who writes secondrate scifi that appears in porn magazines  his trek to midland city is also a spiritual journey  one that reaches its apex after meeting dwayne  who for some reason thinks that trout will hold for him all of lifes answers  the above is already a longer plot synopsis than i usually give in my reviews  but  ironically  i have barely scratched the surface  i havent yet mentioned wayne hoobler  omar epps   an excon with an obsessive admiration for the similarlynamed dwayne  then theres the matter of francine  glenne headly   dwaynes devoted secretary  not to mention dwaynes employee and old friend harry lesabre  nolte   the one with the secret penchant for crossdressing  and so on  the film is essentially dwaynes story  but too often rudolph goes on distracting tangents with the eccentric peripheral players that one often wonders what the point is  rudolph does arrive at a point  more on that later   but its blunted and obscured by his hyperactive approach to the material  the surreal visual style  complete with printed words flying through the air and into dwaynes ears  is obviously meant to convey a sense of madness  but its bludgeoning nature is likely to make viewers mad  the actors are called on to act accordingly  resulting in some of the worst  most overdone work all of them have ever turned in  willis fares best of allbut thats because his frozen expression of befuddled bewilderment mirrors that of the audience  with such an aggressively outrageous atmosphere for nearly all of its running time  it comes as a shock when things suddenly turn serious  and rudolph tries to make a statement  unlike americanbeauty  a film that breakfast resembles in more than a few ways  to its great detriment   there isnt any palpably earnest undercurrent that would prepare the audience for the big shift  as such  the cartoony characters fail to win a sympathy that needs to be earned  and the film attempts  to no avail  to reach a profundity that it doesnt deserve  vonneguts original novel is considered a classic  but it had been called unfilmablethe same that was said of hunter s  thompsons fearandloathinginlasvegas  which was disastrously committed to film last year by terry gilliam  with the similar failure of breakfastofchampions  will hollywood ever learn that books labeled  unfilmable  inevitably results in a film that is unwatchable  likely not  
neg	suicide is pointless  everyone should know that  so whats this movie like  you guessed it    pointless  the virgin suicides focuses on the lives of the five lisbon sisters  from the perspective of the teenage boys who are fascinated by them  when the youngest lisbon sister commits suicide  it sets in motion a series of events that will change the lives of many people forever  thats what the press materials for the film probably say  now heres what i say  the virgin suicides is a huge waste of time  boring  arty  pretentious junk that is about as entertaining as    well as committing suicide  the movie lost me early on  immediately following the scene where the younger daughter jumps to her death from her bedroom window  the girls father  james woods  holds her lifeless body in his arms as their horrified family looks on  then  as the scene ends  the lawn sprinklers come on  is that a joke  is that supposed to be amusing in some way  from then on  the movie failed to draw me back in  performances are the only saving grace of the virgin suicides  woods plays the only character who would actually interest me when he came onscreen  but the performance of kirsten dunst as the next youngest daughter lux is worth mentioning as well  dunst has the potential to be a big star  if she chooses her projects well  and while this film is awful  she manages to come away from it virtually unscathed  there are also a few cameos in the film here and there  which only frustrate the audience as they leave you wanting more  as a result  they all seem rather pointless  although theres a brief role given to michael pare from eddie and the cruisers which turns out to be his best role since    well since eddie and the cruisers   perhaps the virgin suicides would have worked had the story not been told from the point of view of people who had very little access to the main characters  we never get any significant insight into the girls and why they might be feeling what theyre feeling  all we really know is that mrs  lisbon  kathleen turner  is strict and keeps them on a short leash  what mother doesnt  its certainly no reason to commit suicide  with the godfather part iii  sofia coppola proved that she had no business being in front of the camera  with the virgin suicides  she proves she has no business behind it either  having family connections doesnt entitle you to be allowed to make movies  so attention film directors    stop letting your daughters pout their way into the industry  just because they share your dna doesnt mean they share your talent  r 
neg	the realm of science fiction has always been an allegory of political and or moral sensibilities  the best tales of the genre deal with mankinds struggle for survival or knowledge  such popular and noteworthy tomes as  stranger in a strange land  by robert heinlein   childhoods end  by arthur c  clarke and  man in the high castle  and  do androids dream of electric sheep  by philip k  dick all deal with mans need for identity and struggle for self worth  hollywood has regularly adapted the milieu  if not the message  of science fiction since its beginnings  most films just created fancy pulp tales with no more thought that the escapism they achieved  it really wasnt until producer george pal  took charge of robert heinleins novel  rocketship galileo  and crafted the film  destination moon   that scifi  as it is commonly referred to   came into its own  from there  such diverse filmmakers as roger corman to stanley kubrick  have sought to express ideas through the medium of the genre  with the release of touchstone pictures  mission to mars   we have an unabashedly nonchalant scifi film for those who read the national enquirer and the globe  the film opens on a summer barbecue  as phil ohlmyer  jerry oconnell  woos a young female with his tales of space glory and the upcoming mission  woody blake  tim robbins  and his wife terri  connie nielsen  commit to his coming authority on the mission  and luc goddard  don cheadle  consoles his son  entering the party is jim mcconnell  gary sinise   who gave up command of the mission due to the untimely death of his wife  maggie  kim delaney   luc consoles jim with woodys assistance  the three men are friends and carry a fine bond of trust and caring between them  but jim still longs to set foot on the red planet  the mission is in earnest as luc and his team land in the cydonia region of mars  they send out the rover to investigate the area and discover what seems to be water or ice under the surface  going out to investigate  luc and his team approach the famed face on mars  a strange noise emanates from the rock  as the team tries to scan through the rock with radar  a violent wind storm erupts  creating a vortex that kills all members of the team  save for luc  back on the space station orbiting earth  woody and jim receive the information that the mars landing team is missing  lucs interference laden emergency message urges the two men to attempt a second mission to the red planet in the hopes of rescuing the previous team  the second journey to the martian world is fraught with danger  meteorite showers  explosions  and rescues all come into play as the intrepid heroes make there way to the planets surface  the big question is  is there now or has there ever been intelligent life on mars  and if so  what is its relationship with us  now for the bad news  the entire plot of  mission to mars  is based almost wholeheartedly on outdated and preposterous national enquirer type martian civilization tripe  the famed face on mars becomes the centerpiece of the film  revealing some of the most harebrained scifi pabulum the screen has witnessed  borrowing ideas from such films as  robinson crusoe on mars   1964   quatermass and the pit  1967    2001  a space odyssey   and even mario bavas  planet of the vampires   terrore nello spazio   1965    mission to mars  is a hodgepodge of ideas that dont add up to a satisfying whole  while some sequences are wonderfully handled and executed  the film remains flat and uninvolving  so much time is giving to establishing the lead characters in the film  but to no good use  the performances are all workmen like  with only don cheadle  as luc  carrying any sort of real chemistry  gary sinise is wasted in role that requires him to look as if he is experiencing sleep depravation  and the mistaken idea of having jerry oconnell  as phil ohlmyer  play his part for comic relief is just too painful to excuse  and the less said about tim robbins called in from home performance the better  hes just having too much fun here to give a damn  the script has a few lapses  namely that after discovering several breaches in the hull of the ship caused by a meteorite shower  no one thinks of checking the fuel tanks or the remainder of the ship for damage  this of course leads to our heroes having to abandon their rescue ship  also  when one character sacrifices himself  the character takes on a religious demeanor that is completely at odds with the situation  but the biggest offence in the film is the horrid  intrusive score by ennio morricone  subtlety is nonexistent here  in fact in some scenes the music becomes so extravagant that dialogue is almost drowned out  the only sequence in which the score almost works is during the protracted meteorite shower  the pacing of the film is very leisurely  after the opening introduction of the characters  which lasts a full 22 minutes   we are finally dropped onto the martian surface  then  there is another long pause in the plot for more character development  including an elaborate dance sequence in zero gravity  the film could lose about 30 minutes and actually gain some momentum  there are so many scenes of talking heads  discussing what we already know is going to happen  that it drags the film to a dead stop  the good news is that the film is absolutely sumptuous to look at  the vistas of the planet mars are majestic and awe inspiring  the design of the numerous spacecraft and suits are all expertly drafted  with a level of realism that hasnt been seen since  2001  a space odyssey   the visual effects are just stunning  from the space walk sequences  to the visualization of evolution on earth  the only fault come with the martians themselves  which look more like something out of a plastic model kit than something from another world  director de palma stages some wonderfully creative scenes through out the film  the opening sequence alone in a seemingly uninterrupted cut lasting almost 15 minutes  an homage to hitchcocks  rope    as we are introduced to all of the characters  scenes in the rescue ship  with its rotating centrifuge  are just amazing in their execution  but the nagging question  is the final explanation worth all of this sturm und drang  sadly it is not  director brian de palma has crafted an extravagant production  the set design and visual effects are all arresting  but its the comic strip denouncement that ruin what might have been a fine return to good adventurous  thought provoking science fiction  a disappointing film  but one that might still entertain if you can settle for the visuals  
neg	back in february at the monthly los angeles comic book and science fiction convention  new line cinema put on a lavish presentation for its bigscreen update of the cult 1960s scifi tv show lost in space  complete with inperson appearances by cast members mimi rogers  matt leblanc  lacey chabert  jack johnson  and even gary oldman  that should have set off my warning alarmsthe last time such an extravagant film presentation took place at the convention was nearly five years ago  when none other than arnold schwarzenegger made an inperson cameo to peddle    last action hero  but no  like millions of others  i bought into the hype and  got lost   if only i had gotten lostliterallyon the way to theatre and spared myself the tedium of this sloppily slappedtogether blockbuster wannabe  you may find yourself wondering if director stephen hopkins and screenwriter akiva goldsman were lost themselves when they made the film  at the convention  goldsman claimed to be a rabid fan of the original television series  and if that really is the case  id hate to see what he does with concepts he only has mild interest in  to say that his script lacks narrative cohesion is to imply that there is a narrative to begin withwhich there most certainly is not  after the setup  in which the robinson familyfather john  william hurt  looking and sounding as spaced out as he does in interviews   mother maureen  rogers  wasted   daughters judy  heather graham  ditto  and penny  a heavily madeup chabert  looking like a junior version of neve campbell in wild things   and son will  young newcomer johnson  making the best of it  and pilot don west  leblanc  doing a bad han solo impression  find themselves lost in space after their ship is sabotaged by evil stowaway dr  smith  a watereddown but stilllively oldman  cashing a paycheck and loving every minute   the scripts  stream  of events becomes so fragmented and random that it seems to be made up as it goes alongand hopkins does little to make what does go on the slightest bit interesting  they encounter another ship  they board it  alien spiders attack them  they return to their ship  the other one explodes  they land on a deserted planet  and so on  an attempt at a plot involving time travel occurs in the third act  but goldsman doesnt seem to understand the rules that come with using such a story device  when one characters past self dies  the future incarnation inexplicably lives on  the look and effects should be lost in spaces aceinthehole  but hopkins even manages to botch that  for a bigbudget film  the visual effects are incredibly shoddy  in one composite background shot  i could see the blue outline around oldman  the various digital effects for the space battle scenes look like    digital effects  but nothing in those shots is as jawdroppingly unconvincing as blawp  a monkeylike space creature that becomes pennys pet  entirely computergenerated and every inch showing it  blawp looks like it was lifted directly from a sony playstation game  apparently hopkins thought the same and tried desperately to hide it  how else can one explain the graininess of blawps composite shots with the human actors  but in doing so  the seams are that much more obvious  you have to be severely visually impaired to not be distracted when a grainy shot of penny and blawp is immediately followed by a crystalclear solo reaction shot of judy  new line is hoping lost in space will become a big franchise much like the longrunning star trek cash cow at paramount  i dont think so  in a few years  the lost in space movie will likely live on not as a series but as the obscure answer to a trivia question  what film ended titanics 15week reign at the top of the weekend box office  
neg	the working title for no looking back was long time  nothing new  and rarely has there been a more apt name for a motion picture  even though this movie clocks in at a relatively skinny 96 minutes  it seems to run long enough to engulf two titanics  writerdirector edward burns has trotted out a hackneyed storyline  the trajectory of which will be instantly recognizable to anyone who hasnt spent their life in seclusion  instead of tweaking the formula a little to invigorate the proceedings  burns is content to allow the film to ramble aimlessly towards its irritatingly predictable conclusion  offering precious few momentary pleasures along the way  no looking back is dominated by three very dislikable characters whose constant presence on the screen is painful  the most appropriate ending would have been a triple suicide  and the sooner  the better  alas  thats not the case  and those who stick with this film for its entire length will be forced to endure the prolonged company of this wretched trio  and  to further depress audiences  burns has shot the entire film on cold  rainy days in a gray new york state beach town  peeks of sunshine are few and far between  no wonder the characters are all so miserable  first of all  we have charlie  burns   a generation x slacker who abandoned his girlfriend three years ago after she had an abortion  then spent some time bumming around in california before deciding to come home  that girlfriend is claudia  lauren holly   and  after picking up the pieces of her life following charlies departure  she has moved on  shacking up with one of charlies old school buddies  mike  jon bon jovi   the two have a comfortable relationship  but its apparent to even a blind person that theyre not right for each other  claudia years for some spice in her life  mike wants to settle down and have children  then charlie reenters the mix  so who  if anyone  will claudia end up with  who cares   no looking back goes to extraordinary lengths to make sure that were not especially interested in the outcome of the romantic triangle  so what if no one finds happiness  these characters dont deserve it anyway  especially after wasting 90 minutes of our time  they arent real people  theyre a writers construct stumbling through a tooobvious storyline  they should know the ending as well as we do  and burns should have given his audience more credit and presented them with a plot that at least offered a surprise or two  another frustrating thing about no looking back is that burns has populated the film with a group of potentiallyinteresting supporting characters  blythe danner is solid as claudias housebound mother  connie britton is suitably highstrung as claudias neurotic sister  and jennifer esposito is eyecatching as a bartender in search of a little romance  sadly  all we get is quick glimpses into their lives  although a movie about any of them would have been far more intriguing than the story burns has chosen to tell  none of the lead performers are going to wow critics with their thespian attributes  edward burns is pushing the edge of his limited range here  jon bon jovi shows more acting ability than one might reasonably expect from a singer branching into a different career  but he could still use a little polish  the worst case is lauren holly  who presents a completely bland claudia  as portrayed here  shes hardly the kind of woman who would inspire even a moments interest  not to mention undying love  burns ex  the monumentally untalented maxine bahns  would have been hardpressed to do a less inspired job  when he released the brothers mcmullen  edward burns was revered as the wunderkind of the 1995 sundance film festival  robert redford has apparently stuck with him  the aging actordirector executive produced this mess   two films and three short years later  the luster has faded  some movie makers have only one good film in them  with back toback duds like shes the one and no looking back to follow the delightful brothers  burns is beginning to look like a member of that undistinguished club  
neg	the job of the film critic is to see a movie and write a review of it that tells you what its about and why its good or bad  i feel kind of embarrassed to admit this  but i after having seen  get carter  i really cant tell you what its about although i could go on and on about how and why its a bad movie   get carter  falls into that category of  movies that continue to be made for reasons unknown to anyone outside of a hollywood executive board room  you might call them the  steven seagalmickey rourkejeanclaude van dammewesley snipes school of mediocre actioncrime thrillers   you know  the potboilers that are heavy on fistfights  shootouts and car chases but really light on plot and character development  they have stories where the socalled hero just keeps running into characters who have some connection to one of the other characters who are all antagonists without a reason for being in the movie other than to give the protagonist someone to fight  chase or shoot at  sylvester stallone stars as jack carter  a las vegasbased mob enforcer who returns home  for his brothers funeral  he believes his brother  richie was  taken out  and didnt die from a dwi accident  carters one of the most cliche badasses ever captured on celluloid  his face alone is pretty intimidating and theres quite a few scenes in which he leans on both regular citizens and criminal lowlives simply by staring them down and speaking with confidence in his  ramboontestosteronetherapy  voice  stallones performance in this movie is so forced and unnatural he doesnt realize hes mocking himself  the actual story involves carters investigation into his brother richies death  hes in a town thats not his but somehow the local top dogs know him very well  mickey rourke costars as one of these characters  a sort of crime boss who has something to do with running a porno web site and blackmailing a young internet tycoon  played by alan cummings looking and acting a lot like pee wee herman   theres also another plot involving richies mistress  a secret cdrom with some convicting and disturbing evidence on it and something terrible involving one of carters stillliving relatives  im rolling my eyes just thinking about trying to critique all this in a way that could be remotely comprehendible  i could just rip the screenplay to shreds  plus the direction or the editing or the production values but that would require discussion of nearly every scene in order to explain it all  i dont like to put spoliers in my reviews either intentionally or accidentally  yes   get carter  is just that complicated and complex  and whats worse is that its not this intricate to make it seem smart like  the usual suspects  for example  just the opposite  you get the feeling whoever wrote this script did it in short intervals spaced far apart and they probably didnt remember what had already happened and didnt figure out how each scene would lead in to the next one or how the major plot points would work towards the climax  all you really need to know is that most of the film is just scenes of carter tracking down one scumbag or supposed witness after another  asking them what they know  getting information and then realizing that if he wasnt a complete idiot he could have figured it out in the first five minutes  although the supporting characters are equally stupid themselves since they tell him everything which comes back to haunt them in one violent way or another  making a movie entirely about criminals doesnt necessarily mean they have to be unlikable and cliche cutout characters  mel gibson starred in  payback  a few years ago that had a story not unlike this one but had such a good screenplay you couldnt help but like him even though he was just as bad a guy as jack carter  so ultimately  get carter  fails for pretty much every selling point it has  carter is not a likable character and you really dont care if he gets revenge or not  the action sequences are not at all exciting or original  the enemies and their massive conspiracy are not threatening at all  cmon  you know whos going to win every brawl and shootout and car chase   in the end you dont feel nearly satisfied with the results  the filmmakers did a good job in doing everything as unoriginal as possible   the city is never mentioned by name but i assume its seattle since all the cars have washington license plates and its always raining  
neg	ive got to admit it    im a huge jim carrey fan  i loved the first ace ventura  as well as the mask and dumb and dumberand even in batman forever  which was a pretty awful movie   carrey was one of the few people to come off looking reasonably good  until i saw ace ventura 2  i had no idea how people could find the guy annoying  sadly  ace ventura 2 shows just how irritating and annoying carrey can be  carrey goes through the same schtick he went through in the first ace movie  but this time it is no longer funnyit is just a rehash of many of the same jokes used in ace i  the plot sees pet detective ace ventura retiring after failing to save a raccoon  in a reasonable cliffhanger spoof   soon he is called out of retirement to find a bat which was kidnapped and  if not returned in four days  will cause two warring african tribes to destroy each other  once again  its up to ace to save the day  using his uncanny detective skills  those who have been disappointed by carreys more restrained roles in the films following the first ace ventura may be glad to see him overacting to the best of his ability  but some may be disappointed by the fact that this sequel doesnt capture the feel of the original  the original benefited from what looked to be carreys constant hypedup improv sequences  which were hysterically funny  here  however  the tighter script  which is reminiscent of the old disney telemovies  takes the improvised material from the first  and shamelessly recycles it in the new movie  giving carrey little chance to improvise  instead  his extremely funny manner has been reduced to just walking around stupidly  but one of the biggest problems i had was with the character of ventura himself  in the first movie  he was always cool  and one step ahead of every one elseperfect for carreys offthewall approach  but here  ventura is made to look a lot stupider  and is often made out as the straight guya role which is definitely not carreys style  there are definitely some very funny moments  but they are few and far between  they are also nowhere near as funny as anything carrey did in the first ace ventura  or even dumb and dumber  
neg	for about twenty minutes into mission impossible 2 director john woo  the killer  hard boiled  face off  appears to have made an exciting  elegant  charming spy thriller  kind of a post millennium james bond adventure with a strapping american  read  unsophisticated  hero more willing to drop kick villains than out fox them  sadly  as the picture progresses  the final product begins to bear a closer resemblance to a souped up  twohour long episode of magyuver  and not a particularly good one at that  what went wrong  mi2 begins flashily enough  that initial flash leading us to believe that itll soon give way to something of a plot  but it only gives way to more flash  then digresses further into a presumably unintentional parody of itself with much slo mo posturing and countless action set pieces wherein bad guys seem to deliberately leap into the way of tom cruises firing gun just so they can die really cool  early on  during a car chase between soon to be lovers ethan hunt  tom cruise  and nyah nordoffhall  thandie newton   woo works some of his trademark magic  in one hypnotic  though completely inexplicable sequence  the director slows the action down to a languid semistall as cruise and his stunning opponent stare into one and others eyes with come hither sexuality    just as their respective cars smash and spin in accordance  coming ever so close to toppling over a neighboring cliff  prior to this we see the famed trailer opener of cruise climbing a steep mountain  sans scaffolding  then leaping from one jagged rock formation to another  why  i havent the foggiest  i doubt even john woo could provide you with a logical reply  with mi2 woo has become a slave to the summer movie machine  the one that jettisons logic for gravity defying effects and story for more gravity defying effects  its possible that these  spies  could be adrenaline junkies climbing mountains and crashing into each other as means to get off  though of course this is never explored  the scenes ive described are really only included to titillate  not to give any insight into character  god forbid  woo certainly knows how to make each set piece energetic  but they remain individual set pieces never connecting to form anything more than splices of beer commerciallike visuals  still in terms of crackerjack eye candy  the opening has much to cherish  cruise and newton first meet during a vigorous flamenco dance featuring several welcome woo devices  the graceful slow mo artistry of synchronized movement juxtaposed against the stage 1 romance of two attractive individuals discovering how attractive the other is   between the frantic dancing  woo trains his camera on cruise and newton as they make with some sensuous eye contact  the scene is a little over the top in a bon jovi music video circa 1988 kind of way  yet it has style and something of soul  and woo casts a bit of a spell on us  sure its all smoke and mirrors  but we can see that there happens to be a talented maestro behind this particular product  thandie and cruise later meet in a bathtub in a scene thats about half as playfully charming as the jennifer lopez  george cloony trunk meeting in out of sight  they flirt and exchange obvious double entendres  newton bats her eyes flirtatiously  cruise grins a little too slyly  the cruise character  ethan hunt  has been drastically altered since the first film  here cruise plays him more as a hip  sexual dynamo than the square jawed robot he impersonated in part 1  hes cool and dashing  which is precisely the kind of role we want to see cruise in after watching him sleep walk through eyes wide shut  which might just be the longest episode of red show diaries ever committed to film   and blustered his way through magnolia  quite possibly the most overrated performance of the 90s   sadly as the film progresses we see less of cruises initial  im the man   charm and more slomo closeups of his preening mug  mi2 falls apart on nearly every level during its repetitious third act  which is essentially one hour long action sequence that just wont stop  the whole thing commences with an utterly generic gun battle  the first gun fight in the film   which really should be unheard of in a john woo film  but alas this particular battle couldve been staged by anyone from renny harlin to joseph merhi  of course excepting the  symbolic  pigeons who seem to find their way into every john woo picture   weve all seen guys slide across the floor in slo mo while firing a gun in each hand  it isnt done any differently here  the action is pure hard target  broken arrow theatrics with nothing to propel it but the apparent need to see tom cruise drop kick face less villains while his hair whips stylishly in the wind  hes cool for sure but hes made to be as empty as the movie  the actor isnt used so much for his boyish appeal as for his chiseled looks  he smiles narcissistically into the camera at literally any moment  be it during a gunfight  before one or after one  when hes not beaming away  hes staring into the lens with cold eyes trying to look mad as hell  but woos editing seriously undermines the effort  he fetishizes cruises angular face with such glee that it turns into a naked gun style spoof  i half expected cruise to peel off his facemask and reveal that hes really austin powers  in a classic woo action moment  ethan hunt struts past a fiery doorway glaring at the baddies within its frame like a pinup boy angel of death  the gunfight turns into a daring escape which turns into a reckless mission which turns into a motorcycle attack in which bad guys seem to angle directly for cruise to kill them like some kind of mass suicide ritual  one dumb bastard even jumps his bike over the gun toting cruise  basically inviting our handsome hero to shoot him in mid air which he does   the lead bad guy  played by the appropriately british dougray scott  and cruise face off in a mentally deficient game of chicken    on motorcycles  though instead of jumping off to the side at the last moment  the two grown men leap directly into the other giving each other a mid air bear hug  only to fly about a hundred feet  still in bear hug position   land on a beach below and begin a manoemano fist fight that ends with the bad guy pulling a  so you thought i was dead      not to worry  cruise takes care of the problem without even breaking a sweat  what a hero  you may have noticed that i opted not to describe an iota of mi2s plot  my reasoning is simple  im not sure of any good it would do  the film itself has absolutely no concern with story  only with hurtling forth to the next  special  effect  i wasnt kidding when i told a friend of mine that mi2 has less plot than the average aerosmith video  nobody will go to this for the plot  and if they do theyll surely regret it  as summer movies evolve  or devolve  character and plot have become increasingly whittled down to nearly nothing  in mi  the plot seemed to be built around brian de palmas  that films director  stylistic flourishes  while in mi2 the plot only serves to give us an intermittent breather from woos nonstop masturbatory pandemonium  its irrelevant in every sense  as is character  all that ultimately matters are those pesky smoke and mirrors  
neg	every now and then  reviewers are faced with the films that are hard to be properly reviewed  most of the time it happens with films that leave so overwhelming impact  either good or bad  that in the end reviewers must work hard to express his thoughts or feelings  but  sometimes it can happen for rather trivial reasons  i love trouble happened to be one of such occasions for the author of this review  the impression left by the film wasnt overwhelming  on the contrary  there were hardly any impression at all  since i had real trouble keeping myself awake while watching it  which surprise me to this day  because the movie theatre was full  i was close to sound speakers  the show wasnt late and i didnt lack sleep before the show  such things happen very rarely to me  and  after many years  the closest thing to solution to this mystery is probably the quality of the film itself  the plot revolves around two rival chicago reporters  old peter brackett  nick nolte  and young  aspiring sabrina peterson  julia roberts   two of them are assigned to cover the train collision  as soon as they meet  they start scooping each other  but during the process they both discover sinister plot involving cancerogenic milk  and also the romantic feelings they have for each other  the plot in this film is rather secondary to its real raison d  tre  romantic pairing reminiscent of classical screwball comedies starring spencer tracy and katharine hepburn  movie author  director and screenwriter charles shyer  who had some experiences with turning the screwball spirit into modern setting with father of the bride  tries again  this time pairing old nick nolte with young julia roberts  however  although there is some chemistry between the two  soon it stops to arouse any interest  it probably happens due to poorly executed genre mix  that collides lighthearted romantic comedy with rather uninteresting plot suitable to pure action thrillers  shyer as director fails to make the proper transition between the two  and fails in both areas  making the story cliched and predictable  the end result is rather forgettable effort  which convinced me not to watch movie again  ill give it the benefit of the doubt  though  
neg	the only two really good things that i can say about tarzan and the lost city are as follows  jane march was very cute as jane  and the movie was thankfully under 90 minutes in length  if you havent already figured it out  i didnt like this movie very much  the plot was boring and contrived to the extreme  tarzan  casper van dien  has now left the jungle and living in civilized society  he is just days away from his impending marriage to jane  played by the aptly named jane march  back in his former home of africa  a group of looters has found the key to locating a lost city   mind you i never really figured out why they actually wanted to find this city   anyway  tarzans old jungle friend appears to him in a vision  tarzan realizes that he must return to africa to help stop the bad guys from finding the lost city  he leaves jane  his first mistake  in my opinion  and travels to africa  of course  jane is hot on her ape mans heals  the two of them are reunited in africa where they do battle with the bad guys  sound like a dumb explanation of the plot  its actually an improvement over the real thing  the acting is just plain awful  im not quite sure what casper van dien was doing in this film  but it wasnt acting  jane march wasnt a heck of a lot better  but at least she is easy on the eyes  compounding the bad acting was the fact that in many places the dialogue had obviously been rerecorded  and ive seen better dubbing in some old bruce lee movies  added to the sound problems was the cinematography  this film was filled with beautiful african scenery  but the panoramic scenery shots looked overexposed to me  quite frankly  i think you could probably do a better job capturing the beauty of africa with a camcorder than this bunch did with professional film equipment  then we have the special effects   special effects in a tarzan movie   you are no doubt asking yourself  yes friends  the writers injected some very out of place supernatural elements into the story  probably for the sake of using cgi  since it did nothing but hurt the story  in most parts  they werent bad  just nothing special  but  they were more than a little on the hokey side  except of course  when we got to the ridiculous climax of this movie  the grand finales special effects went right into the toilet at that point  it almost looked like they had run out of money  these effects were of noticeably lower quality than those in the rest of the film and looked like something in an amateur video production  i took one lesson away from watching tarzan and the lost city  ape men and bones that morph into skeletal warriors dont mix  stay far away from this version of tarzan  
neg	silly performances and some huge gaps in logic mar an otherwise interesting tale of an eclectic group of people stranded at  the last stop cafe and motel  due to heavy snowfall  one of the stranded is a colorado state highway patrolman  adam beach  who discovers a murder scene and a bag full of cash from a recent bank robbery  someone amongst the group of strangers is a bank robber and a murderer  but is it the same person or are there multiple criminals  adam beach unfortunately was the wrong choice for the lead in this film  he doesnt play the role with enough seriousness to be believable or enough goofiness for it to be funny  his performance is stuck somewhere in the middle  and this film really needed it to be on one side or the other  rose mcgowan is cold and unpleasant to the eye as always  and jurgen prochnow    what on earth is he doing in this  best performance comes from william s  taylor as a cheesy  yet still somehow cool and confident  wayne newton drifter type  the last stop is available on dvd from sterling home entertainment  as usual with sterling  theyve filled out this dvd with extra features  the disc contains the film in its original aspect ratio of 1  85  1  a choice of 2  0 dolby surround sound or 5  1 dolby digital surround sound  a full length audio commentary track with director mark malone  interviews with the cast and crew  the original trailer  and the usual cast and crew biographies  the film itself might not be the greatest  but sterlings effort of adding decent extra features while keeping the price affordable  suggested retail of 19  95  makes this dvd worth the money  r 
neg	so i went and saw this film right  it was called  battlefield  earth   i was never interested in the previews  and never too terribly interested in the book  nor do i find scientology interesting  but after reading advanced reviews of how bad this film really is  i had that weird urge just to watch it  well let me be the first to say  and so far in my view its safe to say  battlefield  earth might be the worst film i have ever seen  yes even worse than  mr  magoo    blue in the face   or  jaws  the revenge   roger christianson whos credits include set direction  and art direction for such great films as  alien  and  star wars   directs this film with such amateurism  that the film looks and feels and in fact sounds so dumb  that its quite depressing  the look of the film  is dark and drabby at times  but then bright and happy at other times  the sound is terrible  and has the worst surround sound effects ive heard  the acting is nothing  the dialogue poor  and the makeup effects hideous  heres the socalled plot  earth 3000     man is a endangered species  while aliens from the planet psychlo  the aliens are named psychlo    i wonder why    are invading earth  destined to put an end to those  mananimals  to an end  and destroy earth once and for all  of course we have our typical hero  played terrible by barry pepper  who was great in a small role in 1999s  the green mile   who is destined to go out  and save his planet  one thing  he has to go up against  terl  the chief of security psychlo  who is played frankly  quite bad by john travolta  whom with dreadlocks  a big head  and green eyes just doesnt work  of course the sidekick to terl  is played by  lol    forest whitaker  who looks like a deformed werewolf of some kind  our friendly human johnny  barry pepper  looks just as bad as well  with long scraggly hair  im not really sure how to quite explain the badness of this film  except just to say its terrible  everything in this film is imcomprehinsable  from the makeup effects  which by the way arent good  to the phony looking special effects  everything in this film is faulted  in fact i dont remember one part in this entire movie where i was having a good time  or enjoying myself  in fact there is no part in the movie that i liked or enjoyed  throughout the entire 127 minute running time  i was dying  constantly looking at my watch  and hoping maybe the projectioner would blow a bulb or something  sadly it didnt  my advice to hollywood  get new scripts  new acting classes  better directors and damnit  make films like american beauty more  
neg	by phil curtolo  madonna  antonio banderas  jonathan price  in an alan parker film  with music from andrew lloyd weber  and lyrics by tim rice  evita   now i have to admit  the trailer for this rockoperaturnedmajor motion picture is almost breathtaking for some  the soundtrack is wonderful to listen to  so why wouldnt the movie be wonderful to see  simple  a little over 2 hours of constant singing can almost drive you insane  the story of eva duarte  madonna   evita is full of drama thats trapped inside by all the notes and chords  she was an orphaned child who ends up becoming a hooker  then goes into the field of acting  and finally meets juan peron  price   the soontobe first president of argentina  they fall in love and eventually marry  sounds pretty good  doesnt it  well the story gets better  as eva goes on the  rainbow tour  across europe  trying to win respect  eva duarte was a wonderful lady  however  all of the dramapacked moments above were never understood because the actors and actresses sang to fast to be understood  i went into theater 4 at magic cinemas with the attitude that evita was going to be terribly boring and i left with happy  because i was right  they only thing that kept me awake during the movie was the loud bangs of the drums and strums of the guitar  although it did come off as dull  the beautiful cinematography is eyecatching  as was madonnas performance  as the  spiritual leader of argentina   madonna would have definitely been an oscarcontender had she spoken a single line  but her chance was taken away with the stubbornness of making an exact replica of the broadway musical a film  dont get me wrong and dont look at my grade  i am not a big fan of musicals on the big screen  if youre going to pay to see a movie  you want to see a movie  now i have to admit  its a lot cheaper to pay 5 than 200 plus to see the play  but thats what did me in  all this review contains is my opinion and my grade was set before i even saw the movie  now you may be saying   what kind of critic is he    and youre right  as a critic  i should have given the movie a chance  but as a 17year old quentin tarantino fan  it was way too hard   
neg	i have never seen a man so in love with himself than george lucas  with the overt success of the three original star wars films  lucas has become  not necessarily a filmmaker  but the head cheeze at a huge toy company  with the phantom menace the new product on the shelve  only this toy was made for 115 million  but every kid wants it  and  like all other expensive toys  falls apart within an hour after playing with it  the product in question  star wars episode 1  the phantom menace  jeez    is pure and simple  its about the money  baby  no one in their right mind would create such a fiasco if they knew it wouldnt make a ton of money before its fourth week of release  i come to the sw franchise as a stranger  since i have absolutely no idea why the sw movies are so popular  i find them rather boring and full of nothing but eye candy  phantom menace is like the first sw  minus 10  nothing in the whole concept is remotely enjoyable  even the special effects seem rather bland  the story in this new one is a mindless mess    the acting wooden    and the action sequences like something out of a video game  sw  phantom menace is one of the worst films of the year so far  with a title like sw e1  tpm  lucas has one big head on those shoulders  i thought chris carter did for releasing an xfiles movie  although  that movie adaptation was an excellent way to spend two hours  pm is one long headache  
neg	an affluent horse breeders past comes up to haunt him  an ages old coverup and blackmail comes back to haunt him at the hands of one of his accomplices  thats pretty much the essence of the movie and i have to say that it becomes quite boring at times and is very slow  that aside the story was well presented and probably quite close and representative of its source  the acting in particular i found very good  the character development was also quite interesting but alas the story simply did not hold my interest enough for me to get into the movie  a few things about the story didnt sit very well with me for example the original scam and coverup heavily involved the character played by sharon stone  yet in the end her character played a relatively small role and it seems she should have been utilized more to further the story along better  on the flip side the character played by catherine keener i found to be very interesting and i thought that it was developed very well and helped the story a lot  the characters aside this movie had some interesting merits but in the end it lacked in story and pacing  as far as the acting and casting for this movie is concerned i have to say that the choices of nick nolte and jeff bridges were great as well as that of catherine keener  all these people acted their parts admirably  as for the part that sharon stone played  she played it well but the part was not utilized enough  the directing for this movie is something that i have to comment on because for once in a long while you see a director actually add a very distinctive flavor to a movie  this is one of those occasions  matthew warchus in my opinion added an interesting touch and spin to the movie and i think he tackled a touch subject  i myself wouldnt be able to look at horseracing and make a movie out of it   there is a certain flavor about this movie and i think that the direction of the movie is the reason for this  the one flaw that i do have to comment on is the pacing  the subject matter in my opinion wasnt interesting enough on its own to have this kind of flavoring and directorial touch about it  i certainly hope that the director makes more movies as this does show promise even if i myself dont like it  all in all i found this movie boring and very slow  the acting was good but the story just didnt evolve enough and wasnt captivating enough to make simpatico an enjoyable movie to watch  although there is much going for the movie i didnt find it good even though i see the merits and style used and can compliment the movie on them  i wouldnt recommend this movie to anyone but if you are a horse fanatic or a racing fanatic then you will most likely enjoy this movie  
neg	a fullyloaded entertainment review  website coming soon  hunter s  thompsons fear and loathing in las vegas  written in 1971  is already an american classic  not merely because it was an unadulterated journey through the postpsychedelia of the 1960s  but also because it ushered in a new form of journalism known as  gonzo   soon after the book was written  hunter s  thomspon became the basis for a character in doonesbury known as uncle duke  and that is the problem with fear and loathing in las vegas  the movie   although the book is one of my favorites  i now agree with thompsons own assessment of the novel as  unfilmable   the main problem is that the book  although detailing wild drug use and trippedout adventures  was not written on the road  it was written and edited by hunter s  thomspons  relatively sober  at his home  so although the book depicts drug use and still more drug use  it is told with a sense of aloofness and some humor  hunter s  thomspon  the narrator  while always drugged out  still has a grip on reality  and can still tell  with journalistic ability  what is going on around him  not so with the characters in fear and loathing in las vegas  despite name changes and one minor scene from the book dropped  the movie is an exact duplicate of the book  in terms of dialouge  unfortunately  this can get annoying  in the form of johnny depps  who plays thompson  excessive narration  and the characters  while having vivid personalities  are played as 2d characers on the screen  dr  raoul duke  johnny depp  the name raoul duke was an alias of thompsons  and his riding companion  dr  gonzo  benicio del toro   who is a large samoan lawyer  have no personalities or emotions at all  save for stoned  the film is very faithful to the plot  what there is  of the book  in that dr  raoul duke is sent by sports illustrated to cover the mint 400  and takes along not only his samoan lawyer but also car trunk full of drugs  from there  one set of stoned adventures after another happens  including one of the few good scenes in which depp  high on acid  watches all the people in the bar around him turn into  literally  lounge lizards  while the movie has its moments  few   it is almost unwatchable at parts  especially towards the end  despite a lot of celebrity cameos  the stars never get off the ground  the set decoration and costumes are great  and probably deserve an oscar nomination  however  as we all know  its not sets or effects that make a movie  its the characters  and quite frankly  these characters are no good  
neg	filmmakers will use all manner of tricks to flesh out and brighten up a dull  dreary  and overused idea  doug liman  swingers   director of the ultrahip and severely dark comedy go  is an example of just such a filmmaker  in his latest  he gives the viewers a raucous  neonlit backdrop as cinematographer and points the audience down a druginfested path of misadventure as director  but he fails to come up with any parallel structure in his multitiered movie and he fails to connect with the audience on any level  bringing the worth of his efforts to nil and the value of go to about the same  his movie is produced anthologystyle  telling the same story from multiple  three  points of view  much as an author might write a serial novel  consistent with this ethic  liman and screenwriter john august provide a bit of an overlap at the beginning of each narrative and insert brief connections to other narratives  the thread that laces the three stories together is a drug deal and the events thereafter  in story a we have checkout clerk ronna  sarah polley  looking to score some rent money and turning to drug trafficking to do it  in story b we have regular drug dealer simon  desmond askew  gone to las vegas giving ronna her opportunity  and in story c we have gay soap actors zack  jay mohr  and adam  scott wolf  working undercover for the police to bust said drug deal  neither of the three stories have much substance  and the movie has the feel of a campfire story  albeit a rather strange one  that could be told in five to ten minutes   in fact  the movie was originally a short film entitled x expanded to feature length   the early april release date is too mistimed to capitalize on the movies christmas setting  and the los angeleslas vegas nightlife is something too far from the mainstream for most theatergoers to attach themselves to  the characters are shallow to the point of prerequisite  and performances from littleknown players like polley  askew  and taye diggs dont help or hurt the roles  in fact  even bigger names like mohr  wolf  and katie holmes dont have enough time to make substantial success  although thats almost expected for lack of continuous screen time  the success in the picture should come from a thread that binds the stories  go doesnt have this  and it suffers because of it  as far as teen movies are concerned  go represents the absolute bottom  for its constant stream of indecipherable light and sound mean nothing without some sort of common theme   the following do not count as common themes  drug deals  people attempting to have romantic interludes with drug dealers  people resorting to drug deals for alterior motives  or people not involved in drug deals stumbling into them   at times  the humor in go is sickly funny  and on a low night  almost watchable  but for the majority of its running time and for most viewers  this movie will best be left to teens at blockbuster on a saturday night  
neg	i feel sorry for the financial backers of  waterworld   which is supposedly the most expensive film ever made  at 172 million    and is also one of the stupidest  boy did they get ripped off  in fact  this film is not really a movie  but more of an amusement park ride with a plot  its not even just another case of cliches strung together  well  it is that too   its something thats painful to watch because it relishes in its flaws  kevin costner stars as a man who is some kind of mutant half manhalf fish  he is an explorermariner on an alternate earth that is completely covered by water because the polar ice caps melted  hes referred to as the mariner  but they  the meaner  would have been a more appropriate title because hes cold  rigid  and strict  and hes supposed the be the good guy  he docks at a small floating village of sorts  he trades dirt for money and this introduces us to the other important characters  first we meet one of the villains  then the soontobe heroine  a child prodigy  a wacky inventor  and a group of primitive people that somehow have some of the technology we have today  but also some of the lowtech tools used by pirates and vikings  immediately the films biggest flaw is apparent  are these people primitive or highly advanced  it doesnt seem like anyone can read yet they have skidoos and airplanes  how are these things powered  and if they have airplanes  couldnt they just keep flying until they reached dry land  also  if the planet is completely covered in water where did they get the materials to make these things  im sorry  im all for checking your brain at the door when going to the movies  but elements like these cannot go unnoticed because they draw our attention away from the story and confuse us  there was potential here for a good pirate story set in medieval times before modern technology  so why mix the two together  it doesnt make any sense  there really isnt much of a plot here because the story moves so quickly it never takes time to explain anything  the only thing we learn is that the prodigy child  enola  mojorino   has a tattoo on her back that is supposedly a map to  dryland   who put the tattoo there and how come it has taken them this long to figure this out  we never get an answer  just a stupid action movie about whoever can get the girl will be the victor of sorts if they reach dryland  to make a long  boring  stupid  and just plain bad story short  the mariner escapes with a woman named helen  tripplehorn  and enola  they sail for a long time  encountering some strange people in the process and fight off  the smokers  as lead by the idiot villain deacon  hopper   who kidnaps enola  the story becomes a overly grand adventure with the mariner taking on an army of goons  rescuing enola  and bringing them all to salvation  how original   even with all its special effects  action  and adventure this film is boring  not a single character is likable  therefore neither is the plot  dennis hopper completely rips off jack nicholsons joker  while costner just plain rips  still   waterworld  is professionally made with a good production design and an original idea but no substance to it  i just hope they dont make a sequel  
neg	to watch battlefield earth is to wallow in misery  it is one of the most ludicrously conceived efforts in recent history  it has a clumsily told story  insipid dialogue  shallow characterizations  ugly scene transitions  no evidence of dramatic arc  headacheinducing sound effects  and a resolution that is completely implausible  worse  theres the promise of a sequel  why   save your money  some films go quickly to video  this one  however  should go straight to the scifi channels mystery science theatre   in the year 3000  man has become an endangered species  most of humanity  called  mananimals  was destroyed generations ago in a battle against a race of plundering aliens  called psychlos   survivors have either taken up shelter in caves or were enslaved to mine earths resources for the rest of their lives  the aliens are a menacing looking humanoid species that stand ninefeet tall  who resemble inbred klingons  dimwitted as they are tall  their culture is predicated on power  extortion  and getting  leverage   travolta  the leverageusing star  plays terl  the conniving security chief that oversees the mining facility on earth  much of the movie is spent showing us examples of terls petty machinations  he routinely employs deception and then punctuates his statements with maniacal laughter  but one thing is certain  he hates being stationed on earth  when the home planet informs him that he will be spending the rest of his life on this planet  he begins to devise his latest plan  he will select a group of slaves to secretly mine out a gold ore site  its not clear how this benefits terl  except that it makes him richer in a place where he has no use for it  the scrappy jonnie goodboy tyler  barry peppers  is selected as the slave groups leader  a psychlo knowledge machine gives him the mining knowhow  but the machine also teaches him other things such as the psychlo language  the principles of our founding fathers  euclidean geometry  and the location of fort knox  this enlightenment just doesnt prepare him for the mining assignment  it also prepares him to organize and stage a massive revolt against their captors  were going to blow up their home world   he says  but first  we need a few more supplies   in days  he and his comrades evolve from cave dwelling  loincloth wearing  rat eating slaves to fighter pilots and nuclear weapons experts  by now  the audience is laughing as maniacally as terl  the media have been working overtime to let the public know that john travoltas labor of love is a piece of scifi drivel  numerous journals have called it an illconceived idea stemming from blind hubris  arrogance  and poor planning  and after watching this movie  youll wholeheartedly agree  this is a terrible film that is illogically constructed  tediously acted  and frequently begs the question  why was this ever made  at a price tag of 90 million  this film will be remembered as a gigantic folly  assuredly becoming the avengers of this summer  both films were unforgivable and this promises to suffer the same speedy fate and subsequent indignity  in addition to the universally pejorative reviews  theres another bizarre element to the battlefield saga  this film would never have been made if not for the star power of travolta  who for over a decade  had been trying to persuade studios to bring the story to the big screen  the controversy is that travolta is a scientologist  and battlefield is based on a 1982 novel by l  ron hubbard  the religions late founder  this led some to believe that battlefield earth would amount to scientologist dogma  laden with subliminal messages  but the story is so poorly told that any message  subliminal or otherwise  is totally undetectable  if the audience got anything out of this film  it was this  we are not too unlike the psychlo leader  like terl  the audience felt imprisoned  dreaded their situation  and looked for any opportunity to leave  could that be the scientology message  
neg	 you cant have any of this  its all mine    a twisted priest  charles huevelman  hordes his tasty fried chicken while dana  angela zimmerly  looks on uninterested  an evil presence  appropriately named the presence  dj vivona   rules over an alternate dimension where neither angels nor demons can touch him  for kicks  the presence likes to trick a human into rounding up five of his or her friends so they can all be sent to his dimension and be systematically slaughtered  when something goes wrong and one of the presences recent victims escapes  the angels and demons are alerted to his existence and feel he is a threat that needs to be stopped  they enlist the help of alison  ramona midgett   a recent suicide victim  to return to the flesh and follow the six new enlistees through the ice wall that surrounds the the netherrealm  her mission is to melt away the ice barrier and allow the angels and demons access by reminding the presence of who he once was  an ancient court jester named abraham who lost his job when his king and queen were killed  the kings sorcerer  amblyn  who also lost his job   decided to take abraham under his wing as an apprentice  during the downtime in his unemployment  amblyn decided to create a new dimension where sorcery  evil  and torture ruled  abraham wished to follow his master into this new realm  so he was asked to show his devotion to the evil wizard by murdering his one true love  in this new realm  amblyn would allow abraham to pursue the sport of hunting and destroying the humans that would be brought to this realm  after each murder  abraham would become stronger  until his power surpassed that of amblyns  because of the screwup that allowed the recent escape  abraham was able to destroy his master and take control of the realm himself  as alison quests to find abraham and show him the errors of his ways  the six new hapless humans are allowed to live out their worst nightmares and then be brutally murdered  if theres one thing i cant stand when i see a film  its when the film is pretentious and arty just for the sake of being pretentious and arty  films like eraserhead and begotten are two of the worst examples of this  and now ice from the sun can be added to this list  this film is essentially an 80 minute stalkandslash film  following the dantes inferno idea that your hell corresponds to how you lived your life or any one of the plots to nightmare on elm street 3 through 6  intercut with almost 40 minutes of strange and  supposedly  haunting images  many of which serve more to confuse than to further the plot  if there arent bizarre images floating past the screen  then we get pointless shots of a suicidal alison staring at her breakfast for minutes at a time or contemplating whether or not she should answer her phone  compelling  but ultimately not  the opening credits sequence is designed like a music video for some unknown industrial band featuring various random images from the film interspersed with other random images  the credits run the entire length of the song which is almost five minutes and the actual cast listing and other credit information doesnt pop up until near the end of the sequence  when the opening credits began i thought my vcr had accidentally cut off and a interstitial from mtv2 had found its way to my tv  at least the music in the film is pretty decent  made up of mostly industrial and hard rock music and even features a song by ramona midgett  at the beginning of the film it is established that the presence possesses supernatural powers like shooting bullets out of the palms of his hands and decapitating people by waving his hand in front of them  and he talks like a darth vader clone without the heavy breathing   for some reason though  he delegates all of his main stalkings to what seems like the supporting cast of deliverance  one overalled cretin handles the presences gravedigging and likes to chop peoples heads off with his shovel  then theres an inbred father  dwight spurgin  and his two inbred children  mark kettler and jennifer poirrierwallace  that take care of a young woman who has been transformed into a half doghalf human mix with a shotgun  and of course a big truck driving guy that likes to tie people up naked to the back of his vehicle and drag them across stone roads before pouring salt all over their wounds  why would you want to give responsibilities to a bunch of  rednecks  when you yourself had all of these cool powers  and how is it that the fellow that screws over all of his buddies is able to round up exactly five friends to complete the number of people required to enter the realm at exactly the same time  i can barely get more than two together all at once at any given moment  the most ridiculous segment though comes right before the aforementioned draggingsalting sequence  the character in question  dana  angela zimmely   has her turn up to be killed and is standing at the front of a movie theater in which the presence is seated  a priest holding two naked dirty humans on leashes walks in and sits down next to a large platter of fried chicken  he picks up the entire platter and starts to enjoy the chicken  taunting dana as she looks on with no interest whatsoever  when she starts to leave  the priest chides her for going before the performance starts and then something that looks like a either a creature from a gwar show or a terry gilliam animation from monty python come to life  walks out  and makes like it wants to be crucified by her  the presence starts to clap annoyingly  which continues for the rest of the sequence  until dana takes off with the strange creature following her  when it finally catches up to her  she stabs it in its giant eyeball and is covered in slimy glop that spurts from the ruptured organ  the box for the film claims  because of the horrifying nature of the motion picture  parental discretion is advised for persons under the age of 18  contains nudity and graphic violence   while both is certainly true  there doesnt seem to be much of either in any large amounts  besides a loving close up of a spurting neck stump  a semigraphic selfsurgery scene  and two instances of head trauma  one run over and one melting   most of the gore is just of the spraying blood or bloody wound covered body variety  as for nudity  it is very sparse  but at least we get to see angela zimmerly  far and away the most attractive cast member  before her body is bruised  torn  and bloodied by the dragging incident  ice from the sun has been released on vhs by www  bmovie  com  it has been presented in in fullframe only and the transfer  for a film shot a good deal in 8mm  is pretty decent  besides the decent soundtrack  which is also available from www  bmovie  com   a makingof video is also available called on thin ice  i havent had the opportunity to see the documentary  but i actually would have been interested to see what the set was like while all of the shots were being filmed  if only to see how director eric stanze  director of a similar cult film called savage harvest   conducted the atmosphere on set  
neg	an 80year old woman jumps enthusiastically on her couch  wearing tightfitting leather  as she cheers on her favorite tv wrestler by calling his opponent a pumpbitch  two men messily eat fast food as their septic truck leaks raw sewage directly behind them  and roughly 17 people are booted in the crotch  welcome to ready to rumble  judging from the fact that pottymouth adam sandler is the reigning boxoffice comedy champion  you realize  albeit while shaking your head  that yes  there is an audience for this sort of thing  ladies and gentlemen  i weep for society  mind you  when executed with style and comic ingenuity  jokes like an alarming bodily fluid mistaken for hair gel  theres something about mary  and a laxativeinduced attack of explosive diarrhea  dumb and dumber  can be extremely funny  unfortunately  ready to rumble is not being helmed by the farrelly brothers  nor is it bolstered by a script that accommodates the viewer with anything even remotely clever or inspired  ready to rumble is built around the dedicated fanbase of professional wrestling     which  in fact  sounded like a fine concept for a goofball comedy  but director brian robbins and screenwriter steven brill handcuff themselves  and limited to a stampede of asinine  humdrum bathroom humor  basically the only thing they manage is to evoke memories of pauly shore and bio dome  gordie boggs  david arquette  and sean dawkins  scott caan  take pride in being hardcore wcw wrestling fanatics  by day  they transport raw sewage  by night  particularly on  nitro monday   they pay homage to their personal hero and savior  jimmy king  oliver platt   the undisputed leader of the professional wrestling community  with two tickets to an upcoming nitro performance  gordie and sean are psyched about witnessing the king defend his title firsthand  but unscrupulous boxing kingpin titus sinclair  joe pantoliano  sporting long hair and cowboy boots  has other plans  sinclair is plotting to have diamond dallas page  playing himself  pummel the king into the tarp  thereby dethroning the dignified wrestler and embarrassing him in front of a bewildered auditorium full of fans  gordie and sean are shocked  rioting madly while arguing this isnt even a payper view event    they take it upon themselves to track the king down and supply the encouragement essential for their fallen idol to make a comeback attempt  along the way  you can expect a lot of sh jokes as well  you may find something to like in ready to rumble if a  you are a rasslin aficionado yourself  or b  you are a dedicated fan of the lowest of lowbrow comedies  i welcome lowbrow humor with open arms  that is  if its fresh and resourceful  rumble is nothing but a sloppy  frightfully unfunny swamp land of misbegotten retardation  the first halfhour is the ultimate test of patience  luckily  the simpleminded events pick up steam  particularly with the wellchoreographed wrestling action  director robbins showed a knack for capturing the brutality and excitement of football in varsity blues  and when in the ring  he does professional work  but the violence is too excessive  having the fake soap opera of wcw wrestling turn into a bloody skirmish brings back unfortunate memories of owen harts tragic accident just last year  especially with one characters dive during a cage match  this is not something you want a comedy to be reminiscent of  outside the wrestling action  the lewd jokes and puerile sight gags bring new meaning to the term  scattershot  while the dialogue fluctuates in on the vulgarity scale of 1 to 10  with brills extensive vocabulary ranging from diddly to boob and so on  the final tally  i chuckled a few times  groaned a lot  and indulged in one spirited belly laugh involving martin landau as a geriatric wrestling coach who fights pretty impressively for 105  castingwise  ready to rumble is an odd duck  oliver platt as a champion wrestling figure  hes perhaps a bit chunky  but fellow wrestlers acknowledge this in the ring by calling him fatty  which dampens the blow i suppose  rose mcgowan is fully disposable as a sultry wcw cheerleader  the nirtoest of the nitro girls   proclaims gordie   but extra pep is added with appearances by wrestlers goldberg  macho man randy savage and sting  among others   wcw fans are sure to appreciate these  others    well  wont  i found merit in david arquettes bountiful energy as gordie  which brings me to my finishing     ahhh     praise for the film  in ready to rumble  i have discovered something even more annoying than arquettes att television commercials  now theres a low blow for you  
neg	its a rare treat when a quality horror film is released in the theater  and unfortunately with mans best friend  well be waiting a while longer  the film stars ally sheedy and lance henrikson in a tale of biogenetics gone wrong  sheedy plays a nosy reporter whose need for a  good  story provokes her to snoop inside of emax  a poorly guarded million dollar biolab that she finds herself effortlessly intruding  the result  she unleashes the experimental wonder dog named max  a german shepherd with genetic recombination allowing it to swallow like a snake  camouflage like a chameleon  climb trees like a leopard  and attack with the strength of tiger  max takes a liking to sheedy  and she finds herself protecting the animal from the cruel technological realm of emax  owned by henrikson  well  it doesnt take long before the hormonally unstable biohazard unleashes his jowls upon the unsuspecting suburban landscape which offers max juicy leg of mailman  etc    sheedy is a boring nonpresence on the screen  tripping through the enormous plot chasms neglected by the writerdirector  i apologize for a lack of credits  i suppose i was eager to leave the theater  and in my rush  forgot to take note of the director  writer  producer  etc      henrikson offered the only relief from the contrived narration of the script  giving his character as much development as he could considering the flat dialogue plaguing the film  the movie depends upon its ability to impress the audience with animal special effects  but all it presents is a dog that can growl  open door handles with his paw  sit  roll over  play dead  and sick  the rest of the special effects were so poor  i found them offensive  the film attains submediocrity  an unambitious film at best  horror fans might find that cujo offers a better bite  
neg	joe versus the volcano is really one of the worse movies made in very recent memory  the strangest thing is that you would think nothing would go wrong with it  it has a solid cast with tom hanks  meg ryan as the lead roles  but you can never judge a movie by its cast    if there is one good thing about joe vs the volcano  it is that the plot is original  unfortunately  it is also incredibly stupid  the movie begins with joe  tom hanks  going to work  this opening sequence is very boring and slow  it shows joe walking to his office  but on the way  he has to wait in a long line passing by strange and slightly depressing scenery with obnoxious lighting  a sequence like this should take 2 minutes  here  it takes over 5    it is obvious that joe hates his job  at his office  one of his coworkers is meg ryan  oddly enough  she plays 3 different roles in this movie   joe leaves to go to a doctors appointment  his doctor informs him that he has a  brain cloud   this means that in a few months  he will die  so what does joe do  quit his job  of course   when he arrives home  joe meets an old man named graynamore  lloyd bridges   graynamore tells joe that in order to get some important mineral for his company from an island  the natives need someone to sacrifice to their volcano to please their fire god  by a startling coincidence  the boat trip to the island takes a few months  by the time he reaches the island  he will almost be dead from the  brain cloud  anyway  so joe agrees  graynamore gives joe a credit card to buy everything he needs to go on this  great adventure   joe goes on a date with meg ryan  his coworker  the day before the boat trip  joe meets one of graynamores daughters  she is also  surprise  meg ryan  except she looks more hippyish  they both have dinner and the next day  joe gets driven over to his boat  the lady that sails the boat is another one of graynamores daughters  and  wonder of wonders  she is also played by meg ryan  as they sail to the island  meg ryan tells joe that the natives of the island have a craving for orange soda  after some stupid talking scenes  they also deduce that graynamore had his doctor be the one that joe went to  and that the  brain cloud  thing was made up   they do plently of cheap special effects on the boat voyage  joe goes fishing and catches a hammerhead shark  this is a cheap gag that has been pulled off many times  but  to top it off  the shark is obviously rubber and fake   one night there is a storm  a cheaplooking lightning bolt strikes the boat and everything is cast overboard  fortunately  joe and meg ryan manage to find some of the luggage that joe brought to sail  by pure luck  they get to the island  since the natives like orange soda  they wear soda cans as attire   stupid or what    before joe leaps in the volcano  he gets fed  right before he jumps  meg ryan pleads him not to  when joe decides to  she goes in with him because  she loves him   now this is where the movie should end  but  unfortunately  the  cheesy ending  bug comes in  the volcano blows the couple out and into the ocean where they land on joes luggage  they float to another part of the island as they watch lava pouring out of the volcano towards the villagers  i give this movie a  see it only if youre a film buff that enjoys a bad movie every now and then or if you really like tom hanks or meg ryan    
neg	 be gentle   urges natasha henstridge to matthew perry in  the whole nine yards    i havent made love in five years    neither have i   rebuts perry   im married   if jonathan lynns latest comedy relied simply on jokes of that caliberand it certainly triesthen itd be an innocuous if rather obvious little film  instead  its failings go much deeper  first off  who hasnt had enough of the tough wiseguy intimidates the timid wise guy genre  if you want to make a pretty penny or two in hollywood nowadays simply write a  comedy  which pairs a robert de nirojames caanbruce willis type with a billy crystalhugh grantmatthew perry type and wait for the royalties to roll in  whos next  jack nicholson and martin short  it certainly doesnt have to be funny   the whole nine yards  is not a particularly funny film  but it is borderline offensive  offensive in the way it continues a trend of poking fun at career criminals who wouldnt think twice about pushing your motherinlaw off the brooklyn bridge with her feet encased in concrete  that might sound like a funny sight gag  but the problem is these films have long since lost sight of the fact that taking a human life isnt all that funny to begin with  when the corpse is placed in a car  doused with gasoline  set ablaze and referred to as  barbecue   it makes you wonder when all this playing killing for laughs is going to end   the whole nine yards  is also offensive in so much as its three central female characters are portrayed as nothing more than sex objects  rosanna arquette plays a slutty  chainsmoking french canadian whos married to matthew perrys nonetoosuccessful dentist  its an unflattering role made all the more so by the unflattering outfitsand unflattering situationsinto which arquette is thrust  then theres natasha henstridge   species  i and ii  who plays the welltodo wife of contract killer bruce willis  she gets involved with perrys character when he comes to chicago hoping to negotiate a finders fee with mob boss yanni gogolack  kevin pollack  transposing his vs with his ws  after willis jimmy the tulip tudeski moves in next door  henstridge and perrys characters hitting it off is about as likely as bruce and demi getting back together  perry might have the charm but he doesnt have the physical attributes of a traditional leading man  especially in closeup  most objectified of the bunch is amanda peet  who turns in a sexuallyripe performance as perrys dental assistant with  it transpires  questionable career goals  peets gratuitous nude scene proves how low this movie will stoop to keep its audience from dropping off  when  my cousin vinny  is the highpoint of a directorial career including such forgettable films as  clue    greedy   and  sgt  bilko   you have to wonder if lynn chose the wrong career path  perrys pratfalling goofiness coupled with willis likable hardness could have had some potential but with no script to work with  and a director who seems to be watching from the wings  their characters run out of gas quickly  
neg	 flubber  is the second best example of how to take all the life out of a film remake an adaptation  and hysterically enough both were distributed by disney  its the kind of film that may be slightly entertaining to tiny kids  but anyone else will feel left out as its boring  slow  and incredibly lifeless  what could be a film with cinematic magic is instead dead in the water  and its a shame because it could have been a great film  hypothetically  i mean   flubber   as you probably know  is a remake of the disney classic i never saw   the absent minded professor   where a  well  absent minded professor played by fred mcmurray created an erratic substance known as  flubber   you know  flying rubber  the new one keeps the basic plot  but appears to have added a lot else  like more absentmindedness on the part of the proffessor  some more villains  and several  showstopping  moments  like a big rumba with the flubber  and some more elaborate setups  none which really make it any better  but instead make it worse  the basic plot revolves around a college professor  philip brainerd  robin williams   who creates lots and lots of inventions  but is sadly absent minded  in fact  hes forgotten his wedding to the colleges president  sara jean reynolds  indie actress marcia gay harden   two times before he forgets it again at the beginning  doesnt this warrant some kind of mental treatment  anyway  on his wedding day  the third one   he invents the flubber  which not only bounces off of everything like a super ball on speed  but can also change shape like the aliens in water form in  the abyss   philip believes that this invention  once fully realized  will save his college  which is in threat of being shut down by a millionaire tycoonvillain  chester hoenicker  raymond j  barry   which is ironically enough the same college his brat son  will wheaton  thought he was dead  goes to  through a plot twist  hoenickers goons  named smith and wesson  ha ha  what a great sense of humor this film has  who are played by clancy brown and ted levine  both who needed the pay check   discover it the hard way  and try to steal for hoenicker  who wants it just cause hes evil enough  a subplot involves philips attempts to win back sara  whos angry at him  and with good reason   but who is being seduced by who is basically philips belloq  wilson croft  christopher mcdonald  playing the hysterically suaveyetunsuave asswhole once again   and in another subplot  philips daytimer robot  weebo  voiced by the oneandonly jodi benson   falls in love with him  yuckityyuck  whats most pathetic about this film is how dull it is  you dont need to be a cynical college student to be able to see right through this film  which is another in a long line of cheap attempts at making a quick buck by disney  who have essentially become the puff daddy of the film industry  halfassedly remixing classics  or nonclassics  for distribution to the general public  who sadly eats it all up  earlier in 97  they released  jungle 2 jungle   an adaptation of a really awful french film   un indien dans la ville   which  yeah  improved over the original  but not by much  disneys in about as bad shape as warner brothers right now  only creatively  in the rush to ship out a film for distribution  disney has forgotten to give this film a little thing called  magic   such scenes as dancing flubber  a flying car  a basketball team that pretty much sucks flying all around thanks to some carefully placed flubber  and an elaborate ending all fail to amaze  delight  or even cause people to laugh  i sat there the entire film stone faced  chuckling perhaps twice  and shaking my head at all the bad jokes  who could really laugh at a scene where philip enters the wrong classroom and starts teaching chemistry  didnt think so  it doesnt help that our protagonist is essentially unfunny or even really respectable  philip is not a lovable absent minded professory  just a really dumb man being played by robin williams  williams is a brilliant comic actor    okay  a brilliant actor in general  but here hes given very little to do but occasionally get hyper over something  and other times act sad  those times  hes not bad  but what are we supposed to think of a man whos forgotten his wedding thrice  maybe it was funny andor respectable in the 60s    i like disney  and i usually enjoy their films  not only animated but live action  and their recent films  save for  hercules   which was good  but not great  have been worse than lackluster  theyve been pathetic   jungle 2 jungle  is probably the worst film i saw last year   flubber  s probably second  what do they need to do  perhaps create something new  get writers who can write something thats universally entertaining  films like  the parent trap  and  mary poppins  are films that are live action  or in the latter case a mix of both   but even i can still watch them because theyre not only written to be magical to children  but to be fun to adults  whats more torturous that taking a child to a film that insults you and annoys you at every turn  and my god  couldnt they have done something else with edie mcclurg  
neg	im going to start this review off with a hypothetical question  lets say youve just been in a car accident  and the driver of the other vehicle is unconscious  your friends have left to go get help  and youre waiting to see if the victim wakes up  a towtruck comes along  and the driver hops out of the truck to see whats going on  he then proceeds to kill the unconscious victim by snapping his neck  do you  a  run away screaming for your life  staying away from the main road  b  run away  but not too fast  and stay on the main road even when the madman in the truck starts following you   stop  to catch your breath  try to negotiate with the psycho  and when that fails  start running away again  all the while  staying on the main road   if you answered  a   you are far more intelligent than the screenwriter of  texas chainsaw massacre  the next generation  and will likely hate this movie  however  if you answered  b   prepare to enjoy a film made with idiots like you in mind   texas chainsaw massacre  the next generation  is being called a sequel  but its really more of a remake of the original  theres a few changes here and there  but its essentially the same  even the infamous  meathook  scene has been recreated   the story opens with four teenagers hitting the road on the night of their prom  and somehow ending up in the middle of nowhere  needless to say  they soon encounter leatherface and his nutty family  much carnage ensues  to call this movie inept would be putting it mildly  in addition to the laughably idiotic situation i mentioned in my hypothetical question  there is a moment towards the end of the film where one of the baddies is killed by an airplane that literally comes out of nowhere  it just swoops down and kills him with its wheel  no explantion is given as to who was flying it or why heshe is going around killing people with the planes wheel  the dialogue is even more atrocious  zellwegger  who is kidnapped by  the family  early on  keeps trying to have normal conversations with these people  when youre surrounded by maniacs wielding chainsaws and dead corpses  i would think that rationality would go out the window  speaking of going out the window  there is a scene in which zellwegger jumps out a window  apparently  the stunt double had a little trouble  because she visibly gets stuck in the window  the director quickly cuts to a wide shot where the stunt double  doesnt  get caught in the window  this was one of many glaring inconsistencies  there are so many  in fact  that if i were to name them all  this review would be several pages long  the only reason i am giving this movie one star instead of no stars is because of matthew mcconaughey  he plays a member of  the family  with a hydraulic leg  homemade  i might add  and is so completely overthetop  you cant help but be amazed by his performance  he obviously had a lot of fun with this part  and it really shows  he makes jack nicholsons portrayal of the psychotic inn keeper in  the shining  look restrained in comparison  for a horror movie   texas chainsaw massacre  the next generation  contains surprisingly little gore  in fact  in contains none  theres a little blood here and there  but thats as far as it goes  which leads me to believe that the budget must have been  astonishingly  low  and it shows  everything about the movie looks cheap  from the sets to the costumes  especially leatherface  once frightening and nightmare inducing  hes now as terrifying as dame edna  do yourself a favor and take a pass at this remake  check out the far superior original instead  
neg	susan grangers review of  session 9   usa films  sometimes you just get more than your bargained for    like when bostonbased hazmat elimination  run by scottish actor peter mullan and his trusty assistant  david caruso  assures a town engineer  paul guilifoyle  that they can remove insidious asbestos fibers from a victorian hospital facility in a week  erected in 1871  deserted and decomposing since 1985  the danvers mental hospital  is one of the most malevolent  locations  ever chosen for a film  the structure is so massive  with its labyrinth of rubblestrewn corridors  collapsing floors  stagnant pools of water  isolation cells  and ominous surgical chambers where experimental prefrontal lobotomies were performed  that their task seems impossible within that time frame  and each member of their inexperienced crew  stephan gevedon  brandon sexton iii  and josh lucas  is coping with his own personal demons as  one by one  their minds seem to be affected by the grim areas in which theyre working  the films title is derived from salvaged reeltoreel audiorecorded sessions involving the demonic possession of a young woman who is suffering from multiple personalities  by the time session 9 occurs so do dreadful disasters  filmmaker brad anderson obviously envisioned this as a gruesome chainsawmassacretype ghost story but the script lacks structure and isnt particularly scary  the conclusion is more ludicrous than convincing  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   session 9  is a dark  gloomy 4  silly me    at first  i thought that the original name of the danvers lunatic asylum bore some reference to mrs  danvers  the creepy housekeeper played by judith anderson in alfred hitchcocks truly terrifying  rebecca  that also involved a cavernous mansion called manderley  
neg	by the time dennis quaid  the ostensible star of switchback  makes his first appearance at about the 22minute mark  you may find yourself wondering why he bothered  after all  writerdirector jeb stuart has already set up a fairly promising pair of parallel story lines  the first finds amarillo  texas sheriff buck olmstead  r  lee ermey  facing a hotlycontested election battle just as a brutal double homicide is discovered at a motel in his jurisdiction  as olmstead begins his investigation  we also meet the two men who come to be our prime suspects  lane dixon  jared leto  is an enigmatic young hitchhiker  bob goodall  danny glover  is the jovial motorist who offers lane a ride from texas to his utah destination  all the necessary conflicts seem to be in place  the internal struggle of olmstead over the clash between good politics and good police work  and the external struggle as one of the two travelers eventually becomes villain to the others protagonist  but then quaid shows up as grimly determined fbi agent frank lacrosse  lacrosse is certain that the amarillo murders are the work of a serial killer he has been tracking for nearly two years  hes not supposed to be tracking him any more  according to the bureau  theyve got their man  but lacrosse has a very important reason for believing otherwise  two months earlier  lacrosses own son was kidnapped by the killer  and the boy has yet to turn up anywhere  lacrosse knows his killers work  and he knows that the man is still out there somewhere trying to continue their game  it wouldnt be fair to reduce everything thats wrong with switchback to quaids presence  but its a pretty good place to start  theres a reason lacrosse feels like an intruder in the narrative instead of its vital center  as a dramatic actor  dennis quaid possesses exactly one facial expression and one vocal intonation  we can tell lacrosse is determined because his face is a perpetual tightjawed  sourpuss pucker  we can tell hes grim because every word comes out in an eastwoodesque rasp  a more flexible performer might have given weight to the character  pulling the audience into his haunted intensity  making switchback his film  quaid merely looks annoyed and slightly constipated  its tough to become emotionally invested in a characters turmoil when it looks like all he really needs is a big bowl of bran flakes  even without quaid  it doesnt appear that switchback would have stayed on course  the early scenes between leto and glover have a lively energy  building our curiosity over which man  the taciturn kid or his gregarious benefactor  is the real threat  unfortunately  stuart tips his hand far too early in the game  both through the pitch of the individual performances and the facts he chooses to reveal  once the mystery of the killers identity is dispatched  the interaction between leto and glover becomes stale and predictable  in fact   stale and predictable  describes the direction that switchback takes in general  falling back on fartoocommon hollywood devices like cats jumping out of nowhere  a climactic fistfight on board a freight train  and edgy law enforcement agents  its too bad stuart wasnt willing to spend more time with sheriff olmstead  far and away the most interesting and appealing character in the film  played with atypical restraint by r  lee ermey  hes a wonderful  unconventional hero who seems genuinely comfortable accepting the consequences of acting on his convictions  a film focusing on the olmstead would have signaled a filmmaker willing to take a few risks with his casting and storytelling  instead  stuart places his trust in a  name  star who cant carry the material  maybe next time hell throw away that one crucial page in the script  the one where the grimly determined fbi agent wanders onto the scene to muck up a perfectly good story  
neg	gregg arakis the doom generation was possibly the very worst film ever made  so why did i see his latest teen bisexual angst opus  first of all  some of the reviews were fairly positive  also  the cast  consisting of cameos from dozens of washed up ex tv stars  including christopher knight  eve plumb  shannen doherty  and david leisure  was promising  last of all  i wanted to give arraki one more chance  i mean  the guy cant be that untalented  can he  the answer to that question is three letters long  nowhere follows the character dark on his wild and odd journey through los angeles  since arraki doesnt know how to make anything coherent  its hard to describe the plot  lets just say that dark spends the bulk of the movie whining that his girlfriend wont make a commitment to him and jealous because she sleeps around with other guys and girls  the only remotely compelling storyline involves sarah lassez as a teen who has a chance encounter with a famous tv star  he turns out to be a nice guy who doesnt care for fame and wishes he could walk down the street without being mobbed by fans  this story has a shocking twist and a tragic end that i did not see coming  it is the first time i ever felt any compassion for a character created by arraki  and this can be attributed to the appealing performance of lassez  i thought maybe arraki was improving in his craft  he works better with the camera this time around  especially in the early scenes  halfway through the film  i didnt necessarily find myself enjoying the film  but it seemed like a considerable improvement on the doom generation  then as the movie went on  arraki loses all sensibility and introduces us to exploding heads  twisted sex games  and alien abductions  its sad  because he almost actually had some decent material here  but he ruined it with his usual in your face  im such a renegade maverick filmmaker  look what i can do  attitude  the performances are generally better than in the doom generation  which isnt saying much  at least we dont have to suffer jonathan  i am the most hideous man in america  schaech  we are  however treated to another round of james  im more wooden than keanu  duval  sarah lassez gives the best performance in the film  and kathleen robertson  formerly of 90210 and now arrakis wife  and rachel true are talented actresses caught up in this mess  of the tv star cameos  john ritter is the most interesting as a deranged right wing tv evangelist  if i prefer nowhere to the doom generation  it is only in the way that i would prefer being assassinated than receive constant physical torture  maybe greg arraki doesnt want you to like his characters  maybe he wants to laugh and make fun of those of us who try to care about them  maybe he just wanted to piss me off  if so  he was successful  
neg	sometimes  when i decide to write a short story or a poem  i think of a title first  and then think of a subject to go with it  it seems that the makers of disturbing behavior had a similar train of thought when it came to the title sequence  i wouldnt be surprised if a couple of guys got together and created the opening credits  and then someone saw it and made up a story to go along with it  the title sequence is so good  so ominous and original  that it had me engrossed before the picture even began  of course  my attention dwindled shortly into the film  disturbing behavior  like so many thrillers  starts off interesting and ends up laughably ridiculous  its a teen horror film with no interesting violence or sex  its a suspense film with no suspense  its an evil small town story with no story to speak of  its a disaster  a listless and uninspired disaster  that just barely misses onestardom because of a few good sequences  a mercifully short running time  and one terrific set of opening credits  our main man is a fellow named steve clark  blandly played by jimmy marsden  he moves to a small town with his family after  tragically  his brother shoots himself  steve is very upset about the untimely death of his brother  we learn this through strange homevideo like nightmares that he has occasionally  the big trial for steve is  of course  to fit in at school and make new friends  marsden looks like your stereotypical jock down to the last detail  so he seems a poor casting choice for a social reject  as a social reject  he falls in with some pretentious dopesmoking philosophers  gavin  nick stahl  and rachel  katie holmes   gavin informs steve that the local group of jocks  known as the blue ribboners  are actually a bunch of zombies  assimilating new members into their group  while sporadically killing innocent people  so  its up to our group of mismatched protagonists to 1  solve the mystery  and 2  do something about it  by the end of it all  something has happened and things have been explained  but the film still doesnt make any sense  disturbing behavior was written by scott rosenberg  ive seen his name around recently  he was one of the toucheruppers on the armageddon script   and i imagine that  for the most part  he knows what hes doing when it comes to screenwriting  he did  however  have a complete lapse in judgement when he got the idea for this film  and then decided to actually take the time to write it out  evil small town films are pretty common  the last one  phantoms  is also a dismal failure   but it takes a lot of skill to make the formula work  rosenbergs script is a complete mess  lacking in even the most basic attempts at characterization  and it makes no sense  nor is their any purpose when things are finally  explained   there is supposed to be an element of surprise when we see what is happening to the jocks  but the film never explains exactly what  is  happening  they get strapped to chairs  a microchip is inserted into their eyes  and  poof  they become sexcrazed  superviolent  machinelike creatures  the doctor responsible for all this  dr  caldicott  bruce greenwood   must be pretty nuts for thinking that this kind of behavior is a step up from the way high school jocks actually behave  or  perhaps  this is the only realistic element in the film   much of the writing is simply bad  and rosenberg has no intuition when it comes to the way high school kids act  in one terrible scene  gavin explains to steve all of the high school cliques  while pointing them out in the cafeteria  up front  i should say that  in four years of high school  i did not eat in the cafeteria even once  that aside  the various social groups he points out are general  uninteresting  and poorlyshown  for instance  he points to the  nerds   who are all wearing glasses and playing with their laptops  its such an obvious cliche that i cant believe rosenberg even bothered  most of the dialogue is forced  no one says   bite me   anymore   and none of the scenes have any degree of wit  this picture is not inspired  and most scenes flop from one to the other  with no sense of momentum or energy  the blame for this can be placed on director david nutter  who apparently likes his films dry  horror films should at least exploit violence  but this one is shockingly timid  there are a few good scenes  though  such as an interesting trip through an insane asylum  this is  however  the most forced scene in the film  for how our heroes get there or why they bother are things we never learn   i also liked the school janitor character  played by william sadler  he has a few lines that are surprisingly thoughtprovoking  the acting is largely a waste of talent  marsden is  as i said  bland  thought not particularly bad   bruce greenwood is shamelessly wasted  stahl and holmes both show they have talent  but the direction isnt good enough to hone in on their skills  stahls performance seems more like a parody of high school potheads   none of these characters expand beyond their one dimension  and  frankly  watching cardboard cutouts of human beings run down hallways while screaming just isnt all that cool  disturbing behavior is a wreck of a film  and it started out a wreck before shooting even began  im surprised there were producers who read this script and thought that it would make a good film  or that it would make a lot of money at the box office  its not boring  or even blatantly awful  but its an uninspired lump of a film  it sure starts off nicely  but the regression into total absurdity is so consistent that the very last scene is outright laughable  so  if you go to see this film  take my advice  appreciate the credit sequence  and pray it never ends  
neg	written by david j  schow and john shirley  based on the comic book series and comic book strip by james obarr  cast brandon lee  ernie hudson  michael wincott  david patrick kelly  rochelle davis  and jon polito  mpaa rating  r   presumably for rape  language  and violence  running time 100 minutes  looks like he zigged when he shouldve zagged    ernie hudson  as a police officer commenting on a suspicious death  comic book translations are notorious tricky anyone up for a doublebill of the punisher and captain america   and the crow proves no exception  despite a gross of good intentions  brandon lees final film doesnt fly very high  the story opens on halloween eve  better known as devils night  wilmingtonasdetroit is in flames and the police are tending to at least  one  murder  young rockmusicianturnedpavementartist eric draven  lee   found on a sidewalk sixstories below the apartment he was thrown from  the cops are also upstairs  administering aid to his fiance who was assaulted and raped and not necessarily in that order  she dies  the perps  escape  and  exactly one year later  draven rises from the grave to wreak revenge  sound familiar  unlike charles bronson  whose only known superpower involves an inability to refrain from filming death wish sequels  lees character has supernatural strength and amazing agility and can even reheal from gunshot wounds faster than robert patrick in terminator 2  by his side is his crow  the presumable source of his powers as related in the narration  wearing what appears to be alice coopers leftover makeup  lee is plopped into an underlit urban landscape that was obviously modeled after batman and blade runner  but no number of redlit  rainsoaked streets can compensate for cheap fx that make the crow seem closer to darkman than batman   the glaring miniatures should show better on video  though    a nod to darkman is an insult to sam raimi  though  because alex proyas cant film a decent action scene to save his life  his two  best  setpieces some banzai boardroom butchery and a cool church roof sword fight are also undercut by the awful editing of dov hoenig and scott smith  blame said editors for the films frightful flashbacks  as well  but the pace is quick  thank god  and every goodideaturnedbad is over before it begins  the cast is better than it should be  ernie hudson is a good choice as a friendly policeman and he gets off most of the films funnier lines  newcomer rochelle davis does well as both the narrator and dravens scrappy ward  jon polito has a small  succulent role as pungent pawnbroker  and michael wincott makes a distinct impression as a longhaired mr  big whose collection of ancientswords makes him seem like he walked into the film from the trailer to highlander iii  there can be only one  finally  theres brandon lee  son of bruce lee  and a 28yearold risingstar who was fatally shot during shooting  lee had four films to his name kung fu  the movie  laser mission  showdown in little toyko  and rapid fire and the crow wouldve been a nice feather in his belt and thats about it  theres nothing great from him here just a good performance that owes as much to presence as ability  when the echo of that gunshot finally fades  watching the crow should prove an even  less  remarkable experience  despite a healthy dose of humor and some surprising sincerity  the crow is still just a couple notches above its straighttovideo brethren  for now  maybe its an appropriate eulogy to an actor who could only get better  
neg	synopsis  sullen julie james  still haunted by nightmares of the killer ben willis from i know what you did last summer  perks up when her new best friend karla wilson wins a trip for four to the bahamas  arriving at the start of the hurricane season  julie and karla run around in very tight clothing and realize theyve walked into a trap set by the rainslickered slasher with a huge hook for a hand  comments  i may be showing some pop culture illiteracy here  but i have never seen an episode of the fox tv series  party of five   i am only vaguely aware of the shows premise  and my knowledge of it comes from brief commercials i halfpaid attention to while watching the tube   party of five   i do know however  seems to be the starting ground for actresses in the teen horror genre  neve campbell  scream queen of the 90s and star of scream  scream 2  and the craft  is a regular of the show  so too is jennifer love hewitt  lo and behold  following in the footsteps of campbell  hewitt now has a horror franchise of her own  the i know what you did last summer line  though the original film  released last year  was watchable enough  this insipid sequel had me looking at the theaters glowing red exit sign longingly throughout  jennifer love hewitt is a very goodlooking young leading lady  however  unlike neve campbell  hewitt struggles with acting  she just isnt convincing in this film  and she wasnt in the original either   this puts many young males  including myself  in a paradoxical quandary  shes very attractive  but the annoying  spoiled  valley girltype character she tries to play here is annoying to the extreme and ruins many of the scenes which emphasize  exploitatively  her figure  add to the mix the equally pleasant yet irritating brandy  another rising teen tv star  and you get one frustrated male audience  ive spent so much time on hewitt and brandy for a reason  i still know what you did last summer  though cashing in on the success of the original  ultimately serves as a vehicle for these two young actresses  nothing else here is original or interesting  this movie  in fact  makes other recent soso horror films like urban legend and john carpenters vampires seem like stunning works of high art  i still know relies heavily on tired slasher film cliches  an isolated location  a storm  parentless teenagers  false alarm nightmares  lots of bluelighted darkness scenes  a garbed slasher who walks around in the background without the characters seeing him  knives and other sharp instruments lying around everywhere  etc  you get the picture  the entire audience knows all the secondary characters introduced in the film are going to receive the business end of the killers hook  they may as well have huge targets painted on them  like scream and its numerous knockoffs  these secondary characters are supposed to serve as comic relief  unfortunately  i still knows characters arent all that funny  in particular  one character  a chainweedsmoking guy  is obnoxiously annoying and certainly doesnt die soon enough  the death scenes  by the way  are relatively violent for a theatrically released horror film  several of them are uncomfortable to watch  and they reminded me of the sickening gore scenes in hellraiser  bloodline  a truly sadistic movie  this  too  did not help the supposed humor i still know was shooting for  and what is the deal with the slasher himself  i know that the slasher film is not a particularly intelligent genre  but ben willis has got to go down as one of the most silly slashers in mainstream horror  come on  the guy looks like the gortons fisherman  and his gruff voice makes him sound like a disney pirate  though his lightninglit appearances ellicited muchneeded laughter in the theater  his appearance borders on the absurd in the horror film  and thats  really  saying something  so  all thats left to talk about here is jennifer love hewitt and brandy  both prance about in tightfitting  revealing outfits or in various states of undress  yet neither of them ever actually do a nude scene  hewitt  however  does do a postshower scene in which her thin bathrobe is quite    titillating  this scene alone made this onestar turkey earn two stars under my rating system  otherwise  hewitt and brandy both grate on the nerves  early in the film  for instance  brandy wins the trip to the bahamas  she and hewitt jump around and scream and screech for what seems like forever  i needed extrastrength tylenol after that part  oh  and the films conclusion  talk about repetitive  people who saw i know what you did last summer will predict i still knows ending at least 5 minutes before it happens  boring  i saw this movie with my brother at the local downtown movie theater  admission is only one dollar on wednesdays  and we often go see bad movies on these days just to ridicule them  its usually a fun thing to do along with the rest of the audience  who dont seem to mind participating in a mass  mystery science theater 3000  type viewing  i still know what you did last summer  however  produced several lengthy uncomfortable silences from the audience  underscoring how bad it  really  is  if it werent for the main actresses revealing wardrobes  id have had a very  very hard time sitting through this lame sequel  i cant imagine trying to watch it on video  horror films seem 10 times better in a theater because they rely heavily on audience participation  and wouldnt recommend it to people  unless theyre horror film fanatics or huge fans of hewitt and brandy  i read on a website somewhere that another sequel is already in the works  what a depressing thought  hewitt apparently needs to spend more time on tv figuring out how to act  rated r  this film contains lots of violence  several gory scenes  and a couple nubile  horny teenagersthough the sex act itself is always thwarted  id say this is unsuitable for kids  but teens wouldnt have a problem sitting through it  especially since they obviously compose the films target audience  
neg	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  to assess alex coxs film the winner as a loser would be so indolent  it would be derisive  it would be glib  it would be dismissive  it would be entirely accurate  rarely have i seen a film as excruciatingly annoying as the winner  a wouldbe comedy which quickly proves to be tedious  unfunny  and unengaging  the film attempts to be fresh and quirky  utilising a myriad of colourful characters to weave its absurd tale  but appears to overlook the fact that nobody in the film is remotely interesting and that all of the characters are essentially preposterous  the film is set in las vegas  and the focus in the winner is on philip  vincent donofrio   an aloof  naive young man blessed with the odd gift of luck  he virtually cannot lose at the tables  despite this prodigious talent  philip is perpetually mournful and quite indifferent about his gambling fortunes  neither taking joy in his winnings nor having the foresight to mask his abilities  consequently  he becomes an easy target for those who would ride upon his coattails and take advantage of his talent  louise  rebecca demornay   a sultry lounge singer  insinuates herself into philips life for the purpose of swindling him  while philips estranged brother  and  conveniently  louises exbeau  johnny  michael madsen  arrives on the scene   to add some colour  johnny also happens to be toting their fathers corpse  sans one hand   meanwhile  philip is also befriended by a trio of lowrent  opportunists  frank whaley  billy bob thornton  and richard edson   who have every intention of taking advantage of their new buddys gift with the dice  serenely overlooking the chaos from behind the scenes is the casino owner  delroy lindo   it is probably not giving away much to reveal that his role in the winner is essentially that alluded to at the end of the flashy sequence in martin scorseses casino which details the organization hierarchy of a casinos operations  he  is  the eye in the sky  it could be maddening to endure a film whose central protagonist is so oblivious of the ongoing blatant manipulation  but fortunately this is not the case in the winner  if only because our sadsack hero is such a sap  not even remotely sympathetic or compelling  it becomes impossible to root for philip or even care about his fate  and the wouldbe swindlers of philips fortunes are all drawn out as such ludicrous  transparent buffoons with entirely unimaginative and uninteresting schemes that one watches the winner with a complete sense of disinterest  it is a shame  as the winner features a talented cast  mr  donofrio is an underrated and gifted actor with a huge range  mr  lindo has a remarkable screen presence which infiltrates every film in which he appears  mr  madsen  ms  demornay  and mr  whaley have all done good work in the past  none of the actors in the winner are in top form here  and this film wont likely be a prized addition to their respective resumes  director alex cox does what he can with wendy riss screenplay  and it is to his credit that this film at no point feels like an adaptation of a stage play  i was startled to learn that the winner was in fact based upon one  while tedious  the film is wellpaced and does not meander  but it would be nearimpossible task for mr  cox  or  for that matter  virtually any other director that comes to mind  to overcome the films widespread shortcomings in plot and characterization  to his credit  my understanding is that he has chosen to distance himself from the project in acknowledgement of its deficiencies  i caught the winner at its world premiere at the toronto international film festival in september 1996  and in fairness it is entirely possible that the film has been extensively revamped since then due to the lacklustre audience reaction generated  there were more walkouts on this film than any of the others i screened  to be honest  though  i couldnt begin to isolate what could be done to this film to improve it  i assume that throwing the whole thing out and starting over is out of the question  the winner has apparently played on cable television in the united states and is beginning a limited theatrical release at the time of this writing  the film has a nice upbeat score by pray for rain  but i am honestly not being facetious when i state that the thing i treasured most about my screening of the winner was the bag of popcorn upon which i was munching  
neg	whats to like about the world of extremely violent trash pornographyie  the garbage known as  snuff  films  nothing  right  whats to like about a film chronicling the world of violent trash pornography  well    nothing  so  why make it  hollywood  theres no reason why the average  sane moviegoer will be interested in such a topic  no one is going to enrich their life or have a good time by watching material such as this  the lack of quality filmmaking in  8mm   from technical to acting  stands out even more when you consider the star  writer  and supporting castall reputable  but joel schumacher and his brand of unlikable filmmaking strikes again  like paul schrader  schumacher has his moments  but theyre few and far  far   between  basically  this picture is crap and no one should pay to see it  why not walk out  well  this wouldnt be a thorough review about a thoroughly bad movie  heres why you should spend your money on dog food or gum instead of  8mm     first thingif you dont heed my advice  then understand what youre about to see before you even think about paying good money for this crud  its not easy to watch  i didnt know the details of the story beforehand  but at least my ignorance can help others now  the  ha   plot revolves around tom welles  nicolas cage  as a surveillance expert and private investigator  a rich old woman discovers a  snuff  film in her late husbands safe  she calls welles and hires him to try and find out if the young girl  it had to be a young girl  didnt it  schumacher   who appears to be murdered in the film really is dead  shes horrified that her husband would have owned such a film  in 8mm  of course  and just wants welles to snoop around without police interference to see what he can find  familyman welles agrees against better judgement or any concrete leads even after cringing and grimacing at the sight of the grotesque  murder   let me backtrack for a moment  see   snuff  films are pornos with a violent twistpeople are tortured in very sick ways and end up dead  however  the deaths are often staged and  in those cases  special effects and  good  acting make all the difference  very sick people enjoy and pay top dollar for these hardtofind movies  the thought of this  industry  makes me want to throw my computer out the window and stop this review  but ill swallow my bile and move on  welles follows clues to hollywood and the porn industry  youd think hes sherlock holmes the way clues drop so easily for him  he comes across smut clerk max  joaquin phoenix  who knows everyone and everything in the underground business of sleaze  after a lot of digging and bribing  welles finds the men who are responsible for making this  and other   snuff  films  skip ahead  skip ahead  skip ahead    led by dino velvet  peter stormare in an uncharacteristically terrible performance  and startorturer  machine   christopher bauer   they have a big showdown with welles where death and mayhem ensue  the movie doesnt end there  unfortunately  because welles has to do what all heroes in schumacher films dobecome a vigilante  this film doesnt draw you in  it keeps you about 700 miles away from it and who in their right mind would want to get close  it is possible to like a film that focuses on grime and sick behaviour  ie   se7en    but it takes a large measure of restraint  schumacher has none  and a larger amount of talent  schumacher has little   by those jabs  im not only referring to his stylish destruction of the  batman  franchise  but  a time to kill  was an immensely overrated disappointment  for a guy who gets so much studio money  his track record of making rather bad movies is unparalleled  a good screenwriter and a good director can make you hypnotically watch even disgusting subject matter  writer andrew kevin walker didnt recapture the smarts of the fascinating script he authored for 95s twisted thriller   se7en   director schumacher doesnt have that innate ability to make you watch things you dont really want to see like better directors are capable of doing  he must not have believed hitchcock who espoused the theory that what we dont see is more frightening than what we do  especially when its a scene where young girl is supposed to be murdered   however  gratuitous is joels middle name  he must think that not flaunting a hardcore act of violent sex is showing plenty of tactful restraint  no  he doesnt go that far  but we see enough unpleasantness  he doesnt leave much to the imagination  its manipulating to hurt  or kill  young girls just to get the audience on the side of a murderous vigilante  the script and acting should be what gets us to believe in these characters  yet schumacher has no subtlety in his  ha ha   craft  case in point  a shot of a christian fellowship bus  good  right   drives away to reveal one of the villains  bad  right    see    no subtlety  does joel think were stupid or that we need to be held by the hand to comprehend the contrasting imagery  who do we root for in this mess  is there anybody out there  its not all the directors fault  though  why did the actors sign up for this  nicolas cage is an oscarwinner  for cryin out loud  if he claims to do films to challenge himself and for the artistic merit rather than the money  what was he smoking when this script dropped on his veranda  what is cage supposed to be in this moviea whispering batman without the charisma and pointed ears  villainous peter stormare is five steps past hammy  and what is james gandolfini doing in this trash  he was so solid as a concerned father in  a civil action   i guess ol nic  pete  and jim were promised a mountain of money    or theyre suckers  or they just dont care  there are moments  albeit brief ones  where this rises above the wasteland  catherine keener is good  although too quick to threaten divorce  as mrs  wells  baby cindy is obviously cute and wells devout love of his daughter is sweet  the mother  amy norton  of the girl in the infamous 8mm film is not too bad as a woman dealing with the uncertain loss of her runaway daughter  this film has an appropriate bluetoned  washedout look like  payback   which was a much better movie   the editing is okay in scenes of no dialogue  but at other times its rough  during some conversations  closeups and wide shots are not cut very well  making it look to be editted by someone whose instincts arent good and whose timing was a halfsecond off  such a technical error indeed stands out  speaking of standing out  dont believe the misleading trailers  theres not much action here  occasionally  yes  but not as often as your tv will have you believe  after seeing  8mm   i may not be interested in ever watching any kind of porn again  is that a positive  well  if making me almost ill at the thought of glimpsing a dirty movie again is their motive  theyve done a swell job here  itll be a long time before i give a schumacher film another chanceunless i lose my mind and become seriously depraved  but today im not depraved  so i ask  why does this film preach that this garbage is out there and that society should be worried about it  im sure that somewhere right now theres some pretty sick crap going on  but that doesnt mean i need to know about it  yes  mr  walker  your script tells us that there are some screwedup folks out there  yes  mr  walker  the proverbial monster doesnt look like we expect him to  you said all that in 1995  move on  this film serves no purpose  it doesnt entertain  it doesnt teach us anything  it doesnt make a statement beyond the obvious  this stuff is bad  approach  only if this film awakens the authorities to find a way to abolish these types of horrors would it ever do someting truly worthwhile  thats not likely to happen  though  so  8mm  is indeed a scummy waste of money  orson welles said years ago in a tribute to film   to movies    to good movies   if only joel schumacher and the producers had listened and told andrew kevin walker to bury this crud deep in a hole  like  snuff  films   8mm  should never have been made  now  excuse me while i go try to forget i ever saw it  useless triviajoel schumacher loves the vigilante theme  he used it in  batman forever   in  batman  robin   in  a time to kill   in  falling down   and its rumoured that joel himself will play the vigilante at his breakfast table tomorrow    
neg	in the james bond film  diamonds are forever   tiffany case asks 007 whether he prefers brunettes to redheads  bonds response is that it doesnt really matter  as long as collars and cuffs match  well  collars and cuffs dont match in  the real blonde   what might have sounded good on paper ends up as a largely unfunny  meandering comedy on screen  the film  supposedly a satire of the superficiality of soap operas and the modeling business  is wafer thin  it plays like an  ally mcbeal  episode dragged out to the nth degree  replete with a few unnecessary  fantasy  sequences  writerdirector tom dicillo manages the material as if poking fun at daytime dramas is a fresh idea  it isnt  the only surprise here is that the talented dicillo could make familiar terrain so dreary  matthew modine plays joe  a struggling actor waiting tables in order to pay the rent  hes 35 with no agent and no credits since hes too proud to take on roles in commercials or soap operas   thats not really acting  he tells his girlfriend of six years  mary  catherine keener   with whom he bickers constantly about sex  but they need the money  so joe finally agrees to take a part in a madonna video  but its not really madonna starring in the video but a lookalike  played by elizabeth berkley  still trying to jumpstart her career after  showgirls    this points out how artificial this whole business is  one supposes  dicillo has referred to  the real blonde  as  offkilter  but an interesting combination of all sorts of stuff     the film  which wanders all over the place without getting anywhere  is remarkably  on  kilter and  with perhaps the single exception of the alwayslikable modine  whos not afraid to stand around in a very unattractive bathing suit surrounded by hunks   the entire cast is vague and uninteresting  catherine keener  whos appeared in dicillos previous three films  including the brilliant  living in oblivion    is at her most annoying in  the real blonde   look at her closely  she really cant act at all  her reactions are all wrong  almost always out of sync with her costars  she reacts too soon  or too late  to lines and situations  she moves her eyes  or her mouth  far too much  she frowns  she yells  she babblesshe blows chunks  maxwell caulfield plays joes actorwaiter buddy bob  the one obsessed with dating a  natural  blonde  bobs personality  not to mention caulfields acting ability  parallels that of the character he plays on the soap opera  passion crest  stiff and uninteresting  maybe thats the point  daryl hannah is dim and uninteresting as the real blonde of the title  a soap dish who beds bob both on and offcamera  hannah looks about fifty in this movie  shes only 37   why is that  almost all the women in the film wear tops that show their nipples  why is that   marlo thomas plays an uninteresting fashion photographer  kathleen turner plays an uninteresting talent agent  buck henry plays an uninteresting shrink  christopher lloyd plays an uninteresting caterer  and so on  the best parts of the  the real blonde  are the beginning and the end  brief scenes of an elderly woman losing and then finding her dog  theres more depth and sincerity in a single closeup of her expressive face than in the entire film  while this contrast is supposedly meant to highlight the shallowness of the other characters lives  the only thing that makes shallow and superficial interesting is if its funny  
neg	if i were to plot a graph of year against movieplotridiculity for  hollywood movies  youll probably see a line with constant gradient   now  if i were to plot that same graph for the movies that the michael  bayjerry bruckheimer has made over the last 4 years  that line would be  exponential in growth  the team started out with the will smith vehicle  bad boys which was no more than a 2hr long actionmusicvideo   nevertheless entertaining  then came the rock  where audiences flocked  to see nicholas cage team up with sean connery against some terrorizing  general fighting over some stupid cause  conair was ridiculousy dumb in  its premise but it did have fun moments  and who can forget the nursery  rhyme sang by that psycho killer played by steve buscemi  while these  movies worked because there was something better to coverup the dirt   armageddon does not  very much like deep impact  a meteor is heading towards earth and they  didnt realize it until 18 days from impact  deep impact settled with  the modest meteor size as large as the city of new york but armageddon  just had to be bigger     well about the size of texas  that kinda meteor  whould probably knock earth out of its orbit    the panic of this  sighting spurs the idea of landing people on the meteor  drill it then  nuke it  sounds familiar  and who better to do such a job than harry  stamper  bruce willis   your very own oildriller extraordinaire and  his team of machomisfits  nursing the tagline there aint nothin on  this planet that harry cant drill    in that 18 days  harrys group was  split into 2 teams  trained for deepspace flight and finally blasted  into space in with special drilling vehicles on 2 new space shuttles  the main relationship drama of armageddon is formed within the  relationship of harry  a  j  and grace  to give you an idea  a  j  works  for harry  and loves grace  harrys daughter  the problem is  harry  hates to see his daughter hanging around some scruffy grunt like himself  for the rest of her life  so while a  j  and harry struts it out  grace  is place in a position where she is unable to take sides  so she remains  seated in the nasa control tower  crying over both of them in about 80  of the movie  the human elements this movie tries to inject proves to be nothing more  than just an excuse for more slowmos and goldtinted photography  the  anguish of the world is potrayed with scenes of people praying  running  for their lives or just sitting still staring at the sky  sounds fine  right  i know  but it looks too out of place on screen  too staged  if  you were to ask yourself  whats the difference between armageddon and  a rb music video   youd probably just said the music    not  surprising since michael bay is a child of that industry and has  actually managed to transpose his mtv skills to screen successfully  his  foray into armageddon just proves that he doesnt when to stop  well theres really nothing much to sum up here  the  stockaitkenwaterman of hollywood movies have projected their artform  into ridiculity  beyond the plane believability  where people still  accept even if they didnt believe  deep impact was ridiculous in most  aspects and i believe the makers know this  the thing is  they decided  to shroud myth and fantasy with a purely believable human tale of  suffering and coming in terms with ones problems  which ultimately  brought it above the ashes which it had initially put itself in   armageddon  is an overcrowded  loud  messy  preposterously manipulative  waste of money and deserves to remain in that same pile of ash   20 if you have planned to watched this over deep impact because of liv  tyler  bruce willis or the tagline  from the makers of the rock      please catch deep impact before it finishes its run  it may be the only  meteor worth watching in longlong time  if you have to see it  please  bring earplugs and some aspirins  for the vertigo   expect armageddon  lds to retail at s19  90 at carrefour come release time  gee       even  thats not worth it  
neg	 tina    fetch me the axe     a favourite book of mine called the golden turkey awards relates the story that when mommie dearest was unleashed upon unsuspecting audiences back in 1981  paramount soon realised they had a problem on their hands  it wasnt just the films disappointing box office performance  indeed  in the coming years some people would be going back to see it two  three  even six times  no  the main problem was that what was intended as a serious biopic of screen queen joan crawford was turning into the laugh riot of the year  in a desperate attempt to capitalise on this unexpected turn of events  some publicity hacks dreamed up outrageous print advertisements screaming   mommie dearest  the biggest mommie of them all    executives at paramount were appalled and soon had the ads withdrawn  but it was all too late  mommie dearest was already cementing its place in camp cinema history  unfortunately  faye dunaways energetic  at times ridiculously overthetop performance is about the films only redeeming feature  based on daughter christina crawfords trashy biography  mommie dearest chronicles a series of mainly private events in the life of her moviestar mother  if you believe this movie  it was a life was racked by obsession  lonliness  child abuse and rampant egomania  the film begins with crawford adopting two children  and concludes in the office of her lawyer where her now grownup daughter and son find out they have been left out of their mothers will  joan always wanted her kids to be able to fend for themselves  you see  but thats about the only thread in the narrative that manages to survive to the films end  the script  laboured over by four writers  a bad sign in itself  is a poorly connected series of episodes that builds little dramatic momentum  frank perrys direction is no more than competent  and dunaways bitchy lines aside  the dialogue is flat and uninvolving  in fairness  the films second half ditches some of the cartoon hysterics and does develop a degree empathy for its characters  when the adult christina moves out of home into her own modest dwelling  joan visits and keeps in touch  not helping her financially but encouraging christinas own acting and career ambitions  crawford does seem to care about her daughter  but you can sense the emotional distance and feel some of their pain  you also get glimpses of what the film could have been in the hands of better writers  ah  but there is dunaways performance  and what a delicious piece of campery it often is  having just been sacked by her studio after a run of box office duds  crawford storms home late at night and proceeds to go ballistic in the garden  she has the maid drag the kids out of bed to come down and clean up the mess shes making  spotting a young tree she doesnt like the look of  she turns to the trembling christina and utters the immortal line  tina   fetch me the axe    with which she proceeds to enthusiastically dismember the poor sapling  in the films most outrageous scene  joan realises that some of her daughters clothes are hanging on wire coat hangers  oh dear  sounds like the perfect excuse for another temper tantrum  doesnt it  this time she gives her daughter a horrible beating while delivering another classic outburst   no    wire    hangers     ever       and later  when the board of her late husbands company pepsi cola tries to divest her of her directorship  she displays a superb grasp of business etiquette by jumping to her feet and roaring   dont fuck with me  fellas     oh joy  something of a camp classic  then  but if thats not youre cup of tea then mommie dearest doesnt have too much to recommend it  better you see the real crawford in the women  1939   mildred pierce  1945  or whatever happened to baby jane  1962   great films distinguished by great performances  and a far more eloquent testament to this great woman than frank perrys shrieking piece of tabloid froth  
neg	phil  radmar jao  has a hairy problem  his beard is growing so rapidly that he has to shave every hour  he recently met the author of a nonfiction book on lycanthropy  also referred to in the movie as werewolfism  and phil now believes that his problem is that he has become a werewolf  using enough chains and handcuffs to be a hit at a sadomasochists convention  he ties himself in at night lest his urges overcome him  and phil is just one of the many quirky characters that inhabit shopping for fangs  made on a pittance  the film features an almost exclusively asianamerican cast  as directed by quentin lee and justin lin  the movie is so amateurishly bad that it could almost be a parody of indie films  jeanne chin plays katherine  a meek and softspoken wife  who worries that her husband is unhappy with her because she is not giving him enough sex  we know this through the endless scenes of her confessing her sins  real and imagined  to her therapist  as her husband  jim  clint jung plays a muscle man with a macho crudeness  the picture is filled with stereotypes  theres a mysterious  loudmouthed waitress with a big  platinum blonde wig who brags to everyone she meets that shes a lesbian  she spends most of the movie putting the moves on her favorite customer  a gay guy  and the lone white with a major role  the author on werewolfism  has wildly unkempt  orangey blonde  curly hair  from its opening scene of an attempted rape at knifepoint to its easy to guess ending twist  the script rarely has anything to offer  the story is so minimally developed that it feels almost like the actors were adlibbing  one can only hope that the directors next film will have some substance and some credible acting  shopping for fangs runs 1  30  it is rated r for sex  violence  and profanity and would be fine for older teenagers  
neg	writerdirector lawrence kasdan had a hand in penning some of the biggest film successes of the 1980s  yes  thats right  he cowrote raiders of the lost ark  910   the empire strikes back  8  510  and return of the jedi  810   now with this film  it looks as though he has decided to test his skills at mediocre screenwriting and bland directing  and guess what  he succeeds once again  plot  a man with a shady and regrettable past decides to run away and into a small american town  where he pretends to be a licensed psychologist to an openarmed swarm of people with problems  it isnt long before he befriends the smalltown billionaire  folks become suspicious and he falls for one of his own patients  critique  this film is not a comedy  it is a drama  i say this right up front because from the looks of the trailer  you would think that this film secures its base in humor  but unfortunately for us  it does not  it is a serious film  seriously flawed if you ask me  but i digress  which offers a couple of witty quips to keep you awake  but overall  just sits there  now on to my review  this movie sucks because it was slow and boring  starred an uninteresting protagonist with an unbelievable past  included extremely dull patients whose problems left me indifferent at best and pissed at worst  and certified it all with many a predictable ending  i have no idea what lawrence kasdan was trying to accomplish with this picture  but whatever it was    he missed  anyone without his name could never have made this film because it is an extremely generic puffpiece  which on a good day  might be described as predictably digestible  its no wonder that the studio is trying to sell it as a comedy  it sucks as a drama  and bored my movie cohort right to sleep  ive given it four points on four extremely shallow yet distinguishable marks  first of all  i couldnt help but think about how much the lead actor  loren dean  looked like a young charles grodin  he even acted like him  save for the dry  sardonic wit  this kept me interested in watching him at least  number two  and this one is really shallow  seemed to be geared that way as well   there were quite a few  titshots   as they would say back in high school  and god help me if i cant get enough of those in an aimless drama  and three  and this one surprised me the most  actor ted dansons cameo  yes  he will always be sam malone to us real fans   was the best part about this movie and actually made me see him as a different person  a different asshole  but a different person nonetheless  if ever you rent this movie one day  promise you wont throw away your hardearned money at the theaters     wait for his scene because its actually pretty good  other than that  drab  drab  drab and drab  even jason lee  a personal favorite of mine  was left out to dry with lame dialogue and one of the phoniest romances to hit the big screen in a while  well  at least he finally  came out  and did some real skateboarding in this movie  oh yeah  and i guess thats the fourth point in my rating  anyway  if you enjoy watching boring patients babble on about their boring problems to an uninteresting psychologist    this films your bag  otherwise  skip it and see analyze this  810  again    now theres a great shrink movie  little known facts about this film and its stars   threes company  fans alert    terri from the tv show  also known as actress priscilla barnes  plays a small but pivotal part as the landlady in this film  the scene is actually a fantasy sequence and does feature cleavage  so stay tuned  kids  also  it is to note that the actress was once named  penthouse pet of the month  in march of 1976  she was known as one joann witty back then  shes originally from jersey  who the hell is loren dean  the dude who plays mumford in this film  you got me  but all i know is that he was born in las vegas in 1969 and played the character of billy bathgate in the 1991 film of the same name  jason lee was born in the state of california in the year of 1971  he was a professional skateboarder before his acting career took off after mallrats  610   and even owns his own skateboarding company called stereo manufacturing corp  hes been in every kevin smith film except for clerks  8  510   listen closely and you will hear the pharmacist in this film  the ballooning actor formerly known as pruit taylor vince  make a reference to the  lost ark   which is obviously an injoke  considering that it is the writerdirector of this film  lawrence kasdan  who cowrote raiders of the lost ark  910   kasdan also played the part of dr  green in 1997s as good as it gets  810   ted danson also played the role of lawyer peter lowenstein in kasdans 1981 directorial debut body heat starring a sexy kathleen turner and william hurt  
neg	ladies and gentlemen  payback is the most expensive episode of  the equalizer  ive ever seen  gibson plays porter  a burglar shot and left for dead by his wife  deborah kara unger  in an alltoobrief cameo  and partner  henry  after a successful heist  as a morgue attendant sets about removing the bullets from porters back  porter miraculously springs back to life  he makes it his mission  as a walking dead man without a conscience  to exact revenge on those who screwed him and reclaim his share of the loot   in a running gag  porter demands 70 000  but everybody mishears him and assumes hes after the entire 130 000 haul   in his travels  or travails   porter encounters several other onenamed villainous cretins like fairfax  james coburn as a whitehaired  millionaire thief  and carter  kristofferson  as a brownhaired  millionaire thiefthe kingpin of the obligatory  operation    helgelands film  which was recut by mel the producer  is devoid of an imperative dime store charm  the novelty of seeing a big movie star mercilessly dispatching criminals wears off quickly  a  because the bad guys can only be differentiated by their coifs  and b  because mels schtick doesnt evolve from act onehes the terminator stranded in a plot without a scifi hook to keep us interested after the initial sadistic thrill is gone  payback should have been called playback  its a 102minute loop of the same short sequence   mel   i want my money   anonymous villain   no   mel shoots gun  anonymous villain dies  mel meets up with his hooker friend  bello   second verse  same as the first   its not porters singlemindedness that robs the film of snap  crackle  and pop  as a character who has already  died  once  he has nothing to lose and so much to gain  the movie lacks danger  the only thing porter is in jeopardy of is putting the audience to sleep  payback has a gritty  metallic look to it that also becomes monotonous  its cinematography would be more appropriate in one of those bleak urban psychodramas that come out of england every couple of months   director of photography ericson core should have been fired early on for lighting bello  so vavavavoom in permanant midnight  to look like a potato in a gregg allman wig   to analyze such mediocrity is to grant payback far more attention than it deserves  perhaps only someone as experienced with antagonistsasprotagonists as tarantinolook what he did with the similar heroless botchedrobbery tale reservoir dogscould have pulled off this material  a loose remake of john boormans point blank   the movie presents us with the conventions of pulp fiction  all women are femme fatales  even the cops are in on it  etc   and crosses them with the conventions of cheesy tv crime melodramas  death is never in the cards for the main character  etc   but transcends neither  
neg	when youve run out of old tv shows to turn into movies  i guess you try video games  why did i go to see mortal kombat  annihilation  the quest to seek an answer to this query may prove a better movie that the one i just saw  this film was a bunch of fighting  yelling  special effects  and bad acting set to an oppressive techno music soundtrack  the plot is fairly simple  a portal has opened between our world and the  outworld   allowing evil forces commanded by shao kahn  brian thompson  to wreak havoc and attempt to destroy humanity  the good guys  led by sorcerer rayden  james remar  and human mortal liu kang  robin shou   must take the fight to outworld  where the fate of both worlds will be determined  heres the catch  they must reunite princess katana  talia soto   whos on the good side  with her resurrected mother queen sindel  musetta vander   whos on the bad side  for their love for each other will close the portal and ensure humanitys safety for another generation  how this is supposed to work  i still have no idea  but i liked katanas line   i knew love would keep us together   since that captain and tennille song ran through my head and i got a good laugh  there are some seriously stupid things in this movie  take  for example  a transportation system which utilizes the  inner winds   generated by earths magma flows  you get in this metal ball which transports you through underground tunnels really fast  how fast  as katana says   you will be moving so fast  it will be as if you are not moving at all   what  later  sonya blade  sandra hess  goes to find jax  lynn  red  williams  otherwise known as  saber  on tvs american gladiators  at a medical research facility on the island of oahu  how do we know this is where she went  theres a sign on the facilitys perimeter fence that reads  medical research facility  oahu  hawaii  remember  this is not a caption  but an actual sign  i guess the location is on there for all those medical researchers who keep forgetting where they are  theres a lot of major flipping action  too  the first encounter between good and evil shows kahn and rayden swiftly arching though the air toward one another  do they land and immediately get into the fighting  does one of them land first and catch the other off guard  do they collide in midair  no  apparently they flip toward each other so they can talk without having to yell from far away  why did they need those metal balls to travel  everyone could have just flipped from point a to point b  i have to admit  the fight scenes are pretty good  although you can tell they are heavily enhanced by digital effects and fly wires  allowing the characters to surpass the limits of the human body and the laws of physics  the movies thrills are derived from these scenes and most of the audience responses are on the visceral level when someone gets trashed really badly   ouch  was the most common expletive heard when i screened this one  you could tell that the filmmakers knew in advance that fights  not plot  would be the main draw  since dialog is apparently in the film just to get from one fight to the next  it seems thats all there is in this movie  maybe it is  as i had mentioned  the acting is bad  theres not one solid performance in the film  although williams as jax was pretty funny  after a fight between sonya and one of the bad guys degenerates into female mud wrestling  jax says   you look good in mud  no  really  you do   remar plays rayden with an inconsistency which makes it hard to take his character seriously  and shou is relatively emotionless as liu kang  brian thompson  who has played good guys  bad guys  and even an alien on tvs the xfiles  but always some musclebound behemoth  is your average evil demigod  but its more the scripts fault than his own that he doesnt have anything original to say  the one really impressive thing about this movie is that there is not one swear word in the whole hour and a half  another thing which should be noted is that for all its punching and kicking  blood only appears in one scene  all in all  mortal kombat  annihilation is loud  violent  shallow  and marketed toward kids  hey  just like the video game  
neg	the swooping shots across darkened rooftops suggest a very tim burton movie  but  alas  no caped crusader descends to save  this  film  instead  its a skeletal housemaid  julia roberts  who must bear witness to this unfortunate retelling of  dr  jekyll and mr  hyde   for a few  fleeting  maddening moments  director stephen frears  dangerous liaisons  gets everything just right the tone  the colors  the characters  all the ingredients to make a mostpowerful potion out of valerie martins bestselling novel  yet it fizzles too quickly  the volatile mixture losing potency from the very first scene  casting is a large part of the problem  the story all but collap ses around ms  roberts she doesnt have the range for this kind of drama  her accent also comes and goes  though its nowhere near as glaring as the total lack of chemistry between her and costar john malkovich   he looks the same in both of his roles an incredible fact thats missed by everyone in the story   the very british supporting cast including michael gambon and george cole gives credibility to the smaller parts  glenn close also appears as a madam that the good doctor calls upon  her performance is as close to intentional camp as the movie ever gets and as a bonus offers a likely peek at her upcoming cruella de ville in the liveaction 101 dalmantions  the biggest botch in mary reilly is suspense  there is none  no terror  no tension  nothing  without any weight  wit  or wonder to propel the story  the viewer is left with little more to do than pay attention to the period detail  a few buckets of blood  and stuart craigs fabulously dreary production design  all of which gets old after about an hour  at which point i recommend leaving   the pacing in the secondhalf is especially abominable  if you  do  stick it through  your sole reward is a halfhokey special effect depicting the infamous transformation   mr  frears reportedly recut his film several times  missing several release dates in the process   obviously  no one advised him to throw up his hands and just turn the whole damned thing over to mel brooks  blucher   mary reilly is the second robert louis stevenson story of the month  after muppet treasure island  perhaps mr  frears should consult with brian henson on future projects  i daresay that even ms  piggy is a better choice for a certain roles than julia roberts  and she does have a great chop  
neg	guilt  guilt is something i felt while watching basic instinct for the ninth time  the penultimate t  a thriller  basic instinct made my last few teenage years worth living  but i know so well that its a terrible film  made by a terrible director incapable of feeling guilt  verhoeven went on to make the even more offensive showgirls and  on november seventh  1997  unleashed starship troopers to innocent moviegoers like me  who cannot control the urge to see giant bug movies  the pic begins with the most unintentional laugh of the year  a simple  white on black title card reads  starship troopers  my friends and i speculated that the night before the prints were shipped  verhoeven realized he forgot the credits  is this how a hundred million dollar movie should open  were the rest of the film that subdued    starship troopers is about a group of white  blondhaired himbos and bimbos who all have spanish last names  they graduate high school  join the military  and then  rather curiously  decide to travel to an alien planet and destroy all lifeforms on that planet  the story is so incomprehensible  and told so bombastically  its akin to 129 minutes of someone screaming punishments at you in a foreign tongue   aside  club lovers will be happy to know that dance music hasnt changed in the future   one plus  starship troopers contains some very funny sequences  specifically the newsreels of the future  hysterically funny  actually  but the cynicism of these reports left me curious as to whether verhoeven felt pessimistic about the story in between  the storytelling lacks focus  to say the least  the politics of the film are scary  the actions of the major female characters are dictated by their outofcontrol libidos  theres even a creepy sex scene  the lovely dina meyer makes out  nude  with the sickening van dien while half her face is covered by her opaque sweater  just the way he seems to like it  i use the term sickening because van dien is the least appealing actor ive encountered in a big budget picture  all chiseled features and machismo  he even barks a eulogy at a funeral like military orders  of course  verhoevens probably the one to blame  and perhaps im jealous because im so disgusting  at any rate  a movie called starship troopers shouldnt be about sex  exactly ten years ago  verhoeven made robocop  which was about nothing but skillfully made and oddly moving  and rrated  despite its goofy premise  maybe its asking too much for verhoeven to make a pgmovie  thenhes a master of insipid violence  however  ten year old boys would adore starship troopers if they could see it  
neg	 whats your favorite new york moment    this ones climbing the charts   starring john cusack  kate beckinsale  eugene levy  molly shannon  directed by peter chelsom  rated pg13  theres no doubt that 95 of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern  guy sees girl  guy wants girl  guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl  guy gets girl  in rare cases  the genders are flipped  predictability is a given  rarely  though  is a romantic comedy as cheap  as obvious  or as pointless as serendipity  a film that uses its  theme  as an excuse for its plot contrivances   lightweight  doesnt begin to describe it  this is like antigravity  it begins in a new york city bloomingdales  a product placement that rivals cast aways fedex for sheer blatancy  jonathan trager  john cusack  and sara thomas  kate beckinsale  both go for the same pair of gloves  after going through the perfunctory motions  jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream  followed by ice skating  jonathan falls hard  and sara is charmed  when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper  a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand  she takes this as a sign from fate that they shouldnt be together  jonathan is flabbergasted  to pacify him  she comes up with an idea  jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill  which she will promptly spend  when she gets home  she will write her name and number inside a book   love in the time of cholera   and sell it to a used bookstore  if the bill gets back to her or the book to him  it will mean that they are meant to be together  three years later  both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests  both realize they arent content  both go looking for the other  what happens now is so absurd that im almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it  the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible  coincidences  that i would describe as contrivances if it werent for the film ohsocleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around  serendipity   of course  since the movie is about fate  the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases  im not buying it  theres no suspense in any of this because we know exactly whats going to happen  but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly  adorable  nonstory into our heads  instead of  will they meet   the question were asking is  when will they meet already   to make matters worse  every  coincidence  is telegraphed from a mile away  by the last reel i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else  incredible  was going to happen  cusack is fine and beckinsale  at least  isnt saddled with another lumbering  clunky screenplay  shes had bad luck  what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume   just an inanely pointless one  serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy  who plays a snarky bloomingdales salesman  whats the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined  no pun intended  conclusion  serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings  but it only tests our patience  
neg	i didnt come into city of angels expecting greatness  ive never seen wim wenders wings of desire  the classic movie upon which city is loosely based  then again  i have seen enough stories which are based upon a similar plot device  with the little mermaid  both the disney version and the original folktale  being among them  that i had some high expectations about the possible power such a story of impossible love can hold  unfortunately  city of angels ended up fulfilling few of them  the plot  for those that couldnt tell from the previews  revolves around the angel seth  played with an almost creepy intensity by nicolas cage  who  in the midst of his angelic duties  falls in love with a heart surgeon named maggie  meg ryan in her most endearing performance since when harry met sally   of course  his being an angel prevents him from doing much about his love except appearing at random times to talk to her  watch her buy groceries  only to disappear in the blink of an eye  their love must remain unrequited unless seth decides to make the ultimate sacrifice and become human  using this framework as a jumpingoff point  the movie attempts to veer through some heavy philosophical ruminations on the nature of desire  the joys of being human  and the definition of perfection  the first half of the movie succeeds on most points  cage excellently plays the eminently difficult role of an angel who doesnt know feelings so cant really express  preventing the character of seth from getting boring despite his limited repertoire of intent looks and hangdog expressions  unfortunately  cage takes the intensity too far sometimes  and then seth comes across as more creepy than sensitive  as maggie  ryan manages to be convincing as a heart surgeon who has trouble coming to terms with her having lost a patient on the operating table despite having done everything right  her beauty  unlike her unbearable cuteness in french kiss  is mature  intelligent  and winning  likewise  some interesting ideas float around at the beginning of the film  when the camera pans through traffic jams and libraries and we get to hear the thoughts of the random people who flash across the screen  the audience experiences a little of what it must be like to be an angel  the beautiful camera work  shooting down onto the hectic world of los angeles from the improbable perches of the angels  also gives us a sense of the unique wonder angels feel  the film begins to lose its way  though  when the focus tightens more and more on seth and maggie  the grand  angelic perspective gets lost  except for some idly tossed lines about the incredible beauty of the world through an angels eyes  the movie devolves into an examination of how seth cant feel the world or  more importantly  he cant feel maggie  he cant smell her hair  feel her touch  or taste the pears she eats  this change in focus attempts to capture the audience in seths intense longing  but in doing so  the conflict disappears  if he wants maggie so badly  then why doesnt her just make the leap and become human  after all  whats so great about being an angel  sure  you get to sit on marlboro signs  but whats that compared to getting to be with meg ryan  and from there  once the yearning has been established and the romantic denouement must occur  its all downhill  the philosophy becomes heavyhanded  the dialogue pedestrian when it tries to be deep  and the plot twists simply attempt to yank a few more tears into the audiences hankie  its the last thirty minutes of the movie  then  that wrecks the film  i feel like the writer  by pulling out all the melodramatic stops  has robbed me of what could have been a genuinely powerful movie experience on both the romantic and the philosophical level  i came out feeling robbed  seeing so much possibility in a film becoming nothing  i could go on longer  but i dont want to  ruin  the end by revealing any of the cheap plot devices the film relies on  city of angels  then  is a paradox  its a wellacted  particularly look for dennis franz cutting against typecasting as a happygolucky fallen angel   wellfilmed  and based on a wonderful idea  all these possibilities  though  are what make the film so unredeemable when the closing credits come up  
neg	plot summary  the year is 2024  the ozone layer has long since gone and the earth is now protected from radiation by a shield invented by connor mccleod  the shield  although saving lives  has made the atmosphere hot and humid  connor is a mortal and a tired old man who has given up hope  on returning from the opera one night connor is accosted by the leader of a  terrorist  organisation  they have tried to find out what the company that now runs the shield unit are covering up  connor is then attacked by two assassins sent by katana from the planet zeist  like zeitget it    they fail and connor becomes immortal again by chopping their heads off  he then brings ramirez back to life in glencoe in scotland  both ramirez and connor are rebel leaders back on zeist and have been sent to earth as punishment  connor now has the option to return being the last one but opts to stay with his new found immortality and fight to find out about the company and the shield  katana meanwhile  fearing connor would return  sets out himself to kill the highlander  if you have never seen it  being a fan of highlander and mr  connery  i was in the cinema as soon as i could to see highlander ii  the quickening  i wish it had been quicker  i feel whatever else you can say about a film  bad script bad music  etc   if you sit just plain bored through most of it then nothing much else needs to be said  the film was short but in my opinion only twelve minutes or so  the time mr  connery is on the screen for  is worth watching  the plot sounds a little ridiculous but i was willing to give it a chance  maybe they could pull it off  instead  i find that the characters have completely changed from those in the first film  its as if they are different people with the same names  witness connor jumping into bed with the leader of the resistance  where is the attitude of  who wants to live forever  when love must die  gone to  the love subplot  must  have had footage cut out  the highlander and ramirez both seemed aware of powers they had never mentioned before  putting our heroes in deadly situations and then having them walk away because of some new power is very annoying  i still want to know why connors coat becomes flame proof when he is immortal  we are not given enough time on zeist to believe in it  nor are we told why advanced aliens still use swords to kill  why not dynamite or laser saws or just plain bullets followed by a quick chop to the neck  i know the head needs to come off but you could at least immobilise your opponent with laser rifles first  to be fair one assassin tried this but he must be the worlds worst shot  meanwhile connor develops lukeskywalkerlike powers of laser beam deflection  as for  bad guys   we see a rebellion on zeist  crushed easier than a grape and then the rest of the plot depends on katana being obsessed with killing mccleod in case he returns to zeist  two assassins are sent  presumably they are meant to be good at killing but an aged connor kills them both with no problems  no more assassins are sent  katana  supposedly a very powerful man goes himself to kill connor  has he no more assassins  has he no better  why was the rebellion crushed so easily then  michael ironside is totally unconvincing  bring back the kurgan   he seems like a cartoon character and really isnt that evil  just stupid and violent  we see the hollywood trick of the chief nasty threatening a child again and killing lots of innocents  yet he still seems like no threat  perhaps because he seems too stupid to threaten connor  or maybe because his two best assassins wouldnt have been amiss with larry  curly and mo  so much for plot and characters  the music is atrocious  it is at best intrusive and at worst annoying  bring back queen  there was an audible sigh  of relief   when connor played a queen track in a juke box  i believe this at least is to be corrected for the american release  the acting is at best flat  except for mr  connery  lambert is uninteresting and when he delivered  there can be only one  this time around it just made me wish there had only been one  highlander  michael ironside is unconvincing  sorry  michael  i usually like you and everyone else was incredibly forgetable  so why 210  visually the film is interesting at all times  it has a blade runner feel to it and some of the special effects are quite stunning  add to this an irrepressible sean connery who smiles throughout the whole film  or is he smirking to himself  his lines and delivery might make the film worthwhile had it not been so obvious that he cannot take the whole thing seriously at all but hey   id  have done it for 12 million  oh  and i agree with a previous reviewer  she  does  look like sharon stone but i believe it is her first film  incidentally there is a line producer credited and i hear rumours of highlander iii  the wizard  
neg	200 cigarettes takes place on new years eve 1981  monica  played by martha plimpton is having a huge new years party  everyone in town is trying to get there  but some are caught up in other things  this is the basic plot of 200 cigarettes  as we meet the characters headed towards the party  we are sent into many subplots which are unoriginal  and not interesting at all  this disappointed me greatly  the film should have been more about the party than the people trying to get there in my opinion  lucy  played by courtney love  is with kevin  played by paul rudd  the two are in a relationship that is more of a friendship  but starts to blossom into something more than that  this subplot is extremely boring and dull  and i am getting quite sick of plots like that  janeane garofalo is involved in another subplot  dealing with kevin  she plays ellie  an exgirlfriend of kevins  this subplot is completely a waste of garofalos talent  there was no point to it at all  and it was hardly even in the movie  when lucy runs into a bartender  played by ben affleck  another subplot is formed  the bartender is invited by lucy to come to monicas party  at the bar  he runs into two more girls  the girls are played by angela featherstone and nicole parker  but unfortunately  due to the terrible acting of both of them  i dont even remember their characters names  ben affleck is a good actor  but his character doesnt go anywhere so he doesnt have much screen time to give a good performance  featherstone and parker are horrible in their roles  and they are part of the reason the film is so bad  christina ricci plays val  and gaby hoffman plays stephie  the two girls are trying to get to the party but are extremely lost  they meet some guys and end up going around with them all night  this subplot was alright  but it was quite annoying with stephies accent  hoffman did an okay job of acting  but ricci did good  she was underused  considering she is such a wonderful actress  another subplot in the film is the relationship between cindy  played by goldie hawns daughter  and jack  played by jay mohr  jack is an actor who doesnt care about the girls he goes out with  he just likes dates for one night  and the next day he doesnt  kate hudson is a huge klutz  she gets herself into very funny situations  that are the funniest parts in the entire movie  they are probably the only funny parts in the entire movie as well  this subplot could have been used more  mainly due to hudsons performance  mohr wasnt good  but he wasnt bad  he was just alright  which i didnt find acceptable  there is not much to say about the performances in the film  none of the characters are developed or shown enough to really tell if the acting is good or not  the only performances that i can judge are christina riccis as always good performance  kate hudsons funny role  courtney loves mediocre performance  and paul rudds annoying and overused performance  i was hoping for a little more out of jaw mohr  ben affleck  casey affleck  gaby hoffman  dave chapelle  and especially out of janeane garofalo  the two strongest things in the film were the great soundtrack and the original costumes  martha plimpton and christina ricci had very different and original outfits which made me feel like i was in the year 1981  the soundtrack is full of 1980s tunes  ranging from  i want candy  to  tainted love   the songs in the movie also helped create the feel that you were back in the 1980s  during the film  i often found myself asking the questions   is there a reason to this  is there any moral story  is there a point  are any of the events going on in the film necessary  do i care what lucy and kevin are going through   the movie is extremely boring  and by the time they reached elevenoclock  one hour before midnight  i could not wait for the movie to be over  the plot is okay  but the subplots make it terrible  maybe if the film was about the party  not about the people at the party  it could have been a lot better  the bottom line  just like a slasher movie  this  80s comedy is just one too many  
neg	ill bet right now youre just lounging by the pool  humming  i will always love you  and wistfully recalling your candlelight dinners with success  it isnt necessarily over for you  i say you still have enough charm that you could avoid starring in  kevin   for at least a few more years  begin by scribbling  the star that burns twice as bright burns half as long  somewhere youll always see it  perhaps on the fridge door  or on a bedroom mirror with lipstick  you had a heck of a thing going there until you agreed to star in robin hood  prince of thieves  where you were not only upstaged by powerhouses morgan freeman and alan rickman  but christian slater     several dozen tall trees  bows  arrows  and a canoe  too  after dances with wolves and jfk  you decided the world needed more three hour movies  expensive three hour movies  so you starred in and produced wyatt earp  wyatt earp the man was a boring idiot who made the history books solely due to a general lack of famous wyatts  wyatt earp was so dull a cowboy that he died of natural causes  tombstone was a vastly superior movie based on the same legend  and that featured kurt russell as earp and dana delaney as his girlfriend   she was played by joanna going in your movieyou know  the character known best in wyatt earp as  jew whore   what were you and lawrence kasdan thinking   now  youre suffering the demise of yet another of your epics  the postman  a film so financially disastrous that it all but eradicated the memory waterworlds and tin cups mildly lucrative box office takes  the postman is not the worst movie ever madepeople in hollywood are quick to forget movies like howard the duck whenever the next bomb comes along  yet it is a ridiculous movie  i suspect you thought you had another braveheart on your handswhy else line up two armies on horesback  all prepared for battle  for the climax of your film  but  mailheart  the postman is not   i can think of some more appropriate alternate titles  post encounters of the worst kind  farewell  my salary  howard the postman  the postmans never watched twice     what a brown movie  i hate brown  you love brown  dances with wolves was golden and brownit looked like an eggo commercial  the postman had me running for a glass of water every two minutes  would the postapocalyptic world look this maddeningly bland and dry  what exactly happened to this desert world  anyway  did we all become so stupid that we didnt immediately begin rebuilding homes  restaurants  and most importantly  shopping malls  after  the war   why did you choose to drive the movies plot with a dumb group of terrorists who  well  terrorize townfolk across america  why is it only  they  have ammunition  anyway  was it really appropriate to cast your daughter as a girl who has a sweet crush on you  the driftercumpostman  why cast english actress olivia williams as an american  dont you realize that european women can only deliver their big emotional scenes in their native accent   take a look at the lessthanstellar performances of an americanized nicole kidman or an americanized minnie driver   who could give a damn whether you lived or died at the end of this movie  if it came down to a fight for leadership between you and the leader of the terrorists  why didnt you do that halfway through the film and save us all a lot of headaches  why cast will patton as the bad guy  because you worked with him in no way out  sure  hes a suitably creepy villain  know why  because hes creepy in everything  including armageddon  in which he plays a heroic astronaut who practically slithers into his space suit  why heroize the most demonic institution in america  the u  s  postal system  was tom petty supposed to be playing tom petty  if so  why didnt he look more skeletal   he should have been around 70 years old   why  oh why  do i have so many questions   i could ask plenty more   shouldnt a three hour running time have provided you enough space to answer everything  you have one great line in this film  and you deliver it to a mule    the things i like about my ass     i had to wonder  actually  i enjoyed the tone of the opening scenes  a relaxed cynicism  if youll accept such clunky phrasingtoo bad you couldnt resist the temptation to film yet another love letter to your country  ultimately  im saying relax  there is no quota  no need for you to make a picture a year  settle down  really question future screenplays before you commit to them  feel free to write back  i know how much you like letters  
neg	 i seem to have glued myself    to myself   starring jason biggs  seann william scott  chris klein  thomas ian nichols  allyson hannigan  shannon elizabeth  natasha lyonne  tara reid  mena suvari  eugene levy  jennifer coolidge  directed by j  b  rogers  rated r  american pie 2 reunites the cast members from american pie in a different setting  instead of being high school seniors looking to score before they graduate  they are now past their first year of college and have gathered in a beach house to enjoy the summer of their lives  jim  jason biggs  is still an insecure geek looking to improve his performance  oz  chris klein  is still the sweetest guy on the block  having sickeningly saccharine phone conversations with his studyingabroad girlfriend  stifler  seann william scott  is still a horny stoner  kevin  thomas ian nichols  still has no personality and finch  eddie kaye thomas  still longs for stiflers mom  have i missed anyone  so  obviously  not much has changed  this is not a problem  provided that the movie boasts the rapidfire hilarity and unexpectedly true sentiment of the original  but american pie 2 is the very definition of  sequelitis   its coarser  yes  and it pushes the envelope even more  but its heart isnt in it  its easy cash to capitalize off the first films success  but it would have been a worthier investment to prolong the franchise by coming up with something original  part of the reason why the film doesnt work  i think  is that while in the original the kids quest for sex was a comingofage stepping stone as much as an outlet for their horniness  here  everything has been cheapened  they behave like those idiot frat boys who kill themselves drinking  they have no motivation except for sex  sex  beer and sex  thats not to say that you cant make a decent comedy from that premise  but it is one of american pie 2s undoings  missing  too  is the sweetness that permeated american pie  the thiscouldbeyou quality of the main players  here  the characters are too aware of themselves as popculture icons  and theyre even more onenote  stifler and finch are now caricatures while jim  oz and kevin are forced to make awkward selfdiscoveries at arbitrary moments  none of them betraying what the writers think the audiences want to see  and then theres the soontobenotorious scene where jim superglues  himself to himself   which perfectly demonstrates yet another of the films ailments  one that also permeated say it isnt so  director j  b  rodgers debut  theres a fine line between comedy and abject humiliation  and american pie 2 is on the wrong side of it  its hard to laugh at the characters when you are profoundly embarrassed for them  i shielded my eyes watching this more than i have watching any horror movie  if theres one redeeming factor to american pie 2  its the inimitable eugene levy as jims dad  who pops in on jim as hes about to score and utters lines like  your mother and i have been known to get frisky    not so much anymore  but     and then when the girls parents walk in  blurts out  this must be your daughter  i didnt get her name  but hopefully my son did   if only the rest of the movie had the wit and wisdom of levys performance  this is an unworthy sequel to a grossfest that brought back the raunchy teen comedy  the boxoffice of this onw should keep the genre going strong  which is disappointing  the genre needs a hiatus  filmmakers are getting lazy  
neg	ill be the first to admit it  when you mention the book great expectations  i immediately begin experiencing flashbacks to junior high english class  where i was confronted with a torturously boring book filled with people with such nonsensical names as pip and magwitch  yes  its a classic of literature  but it was a rather dry one  shoved down my young throat like a spoonful of bitter medicine  certainly  the experience wasnt truly that bad  but  to quote ethan hawke in the latest movie adaptation of said book   im not going to tell the story the way it happened    ill gonna tell it the way i remember it   anyway  to return from nostalgia lane  and get back to the present  hollywood  in its trendy attempt to modernize the classics  now presents an updated film version of great expectations  instead of pip  this time the central character is named finn  played as a boy by jeremy kissner  and by ethan hawke as an adult   finn is an orphan being raised by his unfaithful sister maggie  or should that be mrs  joe   kim dickens   and her boorish fisherman husband  joe  chris cooper   the setting is the florida coast during the mid70s  finn is a blooming artist  and spends his time running around the beach drawing fish  one of his two favorite subjects   during one of these escapades  he literally stumbles upon an escaped criminal  robert deniro   borrowing a page from the superhuman max cady  deniros criminal has a seemingly limitless lung capacity  and favors hiding on the ocean floor  ok    maybe thats an exaggeration  but he certainly beats any of houdinis records in the opening scenes of the film  and thats nothing next to the fuel efficiency of finns motorboat  but i digress  anyway  finn does the convict a good deed  just to show that hes a really swell guy  and then the plot moves on  enter miss havisham    or ms  dinsmoor here  anne bancroft   abandoned at the altar some 26 years ago  ms  dinsmoor is the epitome of the crazy rich old maid  with bizarre clothing  eccentric mannerisms and a few pounds of makeup  anne bancroft seriously overacts in this role  although she ends up nowhere near a believable character  she does add some humor to the film  joe is hired to help with the gardening at her unkempt manner  but the insane ms  dinsmoor soon hires finn to be a plaything for her niece  estella  raquel beaudene as a young girl  gwyneth paltrow as an adult   for no apparent reason  other than to provide the main plot of the film  finn is instantly stricken for the estella  perhaps its her snooty attitude or her utter disdain for his person  or maybe finn has simply never met a girl before  in any case  neither as children nor adults  chemistry simply doesnt exist between the two  and yet finn spends the remainder of the film pining for her  even when  as an adult  finn arrives in new york at the behest of a mysterious benefactor  reacquaints himself with estella  and draws her portrait in the nude  theres nothing  in fact  there is more sexual tension between helen hunt and greg kinnears gay artist during a similar scene in as good as it gets  at this point  the audience has grown as cold and detached as estellas character  and couldnt care less about the two characters  the bulk of the blame here falls upon gwyneth paltrow  she fails to imbue estella  a remote character in the book  with even the vaguest traces of humanity  theres obviously something wrong when  watching the film  youre more interested with how big her nose looks in silhouette than you are about her character  without a strong estella  finns obsession seems baseless  you wish he would just stop whining  let estella marry his rival  walter plane  an oddly subdued hank azaria   and just get on with his life  in fact  the two relationships that work in the film are purely tangential to the main plot  finns relationship with his brotherinlaw  joe  is interesting  if a bit stereotypical  whats more fascinating are his interactions with deniro  although its only a bit part  it goes to show how much vitality a strong actor can create  it is apparent that director alfonso cuarsn put a lot of work in creating the imagery of the film  some of the shots work  but others are too obviously staged  for example  both of the water fountain scenes  to have any impact  finns art  actually the creations of italian painter  francesco clemente  is used throughout the film  but it mostly fails to have the intended effect  we never see why finn would generate this style of art  which is simultaneously crude and insightful  as a result  it ends up as distant as the rest of the film  modernizing the classics is currently in vogue  just see william shakespeares romeojuliet   simply update the action to a modern setting  and apply plenty of modern rock  but such adornments do little to perk up great expectations  as much as i dreaded the novel when i first read it  youd probably be better off suffering though a reading than watching this romanceless film  
neg	 you damn dirty apes   thats just one of the inadvertenty hilarious lines from planet of the apes thats taken on a comedic context over time  no one back then seemed to realize how overthe top charlton hestons acting style was  but it shows now  particularly in this  mystery science theater 3000  wannabe that was taken for a film masterpiece in its time  actually winning one oscar  for makeup  no less  and being nominated for a couple others  it also spawned multiple sequels like beneath the planet of the apes  escape from the planet of the apes  return of the planet of the apes  beneath the escape from the return of the planet of the apes  planet of the apes  the next generation  police academy of the apes    the list goes on  heston is an american astronaut who spends a few thousand light years in space with his three companions and ends up on a planet not too dissimilar from earth  the thing is  on this planet humans cant talk or think and the guys in the gorilla masks are the dominant species  hestons companions are killed or turned into vegetables by the apon is imprisoned  he surprises them all with his gift of speech  making two primate scientists  roddy mcdowall and kim hunter  believe heston is the missing link between ape and man  believe me  we movie critics have been thinking the same thing for years  when the two apes present the idea before a judicial counsel  the head ape being shakespearean actor maurice evans   it is received as heresy  for all good monkeys know god  created ape in his image   but heston has already seen a cave that contains evidence that humans were originally the dominant species  before apes ever gained the ability to speak and run for president  and he takes them there  holding up a baby doll and yelling   if humans couldnt speak  then how do you account for this talking doll    and how do you account for your acting ability  mr  heston  the absolute most laughable scene comes with the movies surprise conclusion  i wont reveal the details except to say it involves heston falling to his knees on a beach and yelling  god damn you all to hell   several times in succession  the movie is atrocious and should only be viewed by those members of society who like to watch bad movies and laugh at them  what makes planet of the apes even more amusing is that it was supposed to function as some sort of social irony  a condemnation of fundamentals who reject the theories of evolution  but let me tell you  if darwin could see the ape masks and hear the rotten dialogue exchanges  heston to female ape  may i kiss you before i go  ape  but    youre so    ugly    hed convert to creationism on the spot  luckily for us  sciencefiction movies have evolved over time to the point at which some of them are actually good  
neg	new address  same old attitude  dont forget to recommend a film  read the journal  or send me some of that nasty hate mail   starring bruce willis  billy bob thornton  liv tyler  ben affleck written by jonathan hensleigh and j  j  abrams directed by michael bay it rocksactually  lots of rocks fly at us or from us  in slow or fast motion  at several points in the film  they seem like dangerous rocks because they kind of twirl through the air instead of just propelling forward  and when they landonce in a while  when we need a break from the space sequencesthey cause damage enough to destroy the chrysler building and the like   nary a mention of these apocalyptic events is made after they occur   they also just might be the most interesting element of armageddon  a steroid users answer to deep impact  bruce willis stars as harry stamper  a famed oildriller commissioned by the white house and nasa to stop a giant asteroid before it travels beyond  zero barrier  and destroys our planet  why an oil driller  they require someone experienced with deepcore mining to plant a nuclear missile into said asteroid   in one unintentionally    hilarious sequence  nasa asks harry to inspect a deepcore driller they built based on his own blueprints  it is poorly constructedharry criticizes almost every aspect of it  we trust nasa to build space shuttles that can land on twirling asteroids   harry assembles the obligatory  ragtag  bunch of  cowboys   including a blond guy  a fat guy  a black guy  a wiseass  and the man who is sleeping with his daughter  affleck   once they reach space  we experience sequence after sequence of something going wrongperhaps the fact that they sent a bunch of nincompoops into outer space has something to do with it  i cannot count the number of times they almost fail the mission on all my fingers and toes  whether or not they save the day  i will not reveal  nor will you care  i will say this  you know youre in trouble when deep impact dwarfs your asteroid movie in terms of emotion and scope  willis has barely a chance to come alive  ditto for affleck  their big scenes are mostly reserved for the third act  in a last minuteand futileattempt to inject warmth into the material  steve buscemis characterthe wiseassis exceptionally problematic   rockhound   as hes called  is sarcastic and foolish  so they tape him to a chair  where he spends most of the film  so why did they bring him up there to begin with  rather  why write him into the film  give his almostwitty oneliners to serious willis  who scowls and mopes and demonstrates psychotic tendencies  at one point he chases after affleck with his shotgun for screwing his daughter  firing often and causing significant damage to his oil rig  im guessing he qualifies under nasa guidelines as someone unfit for space travel  at least in my world where the sky is blue  liv tyler is pretty and humourless  as always  suspiciously  four of her fathers bands   aerosmith   songs grace the soundtrack  director michael bay lays the visual and sound effects on thick  like ketchup  eventually drowning the movie onscreen   the middle hour is a nonsensical  pyrotechnic assault on the average primates brain   whenever someone dies in this movie  a crew member inevitably yells out  we lost  insert dead persons last name here    i must admit that not once could i distinguish a dead oilguycumastronaut from a live one  and closeups of the corpses faces beneath cracked helmets provided little assistance  as their skin was often covered in fake blood  armageddon is not as terrible movie as godzilla  it looks nicer  and has fewer plotholes within its equally ludicrous framework  it has a vivid soundmix  but at almost twoandahalf hours  i could not believe how little actually happened over the course of the story  the love story has been played up in the ads  perhaps hoping to catch people before they recover from titanicfever  bollocks  the lovers in the film are miles apart throughouterase all thoughts of nude sketching or carsex and replace them with obligatory shots of liv tyler tearing up while ben affleck dicks around in a mooncrawler  remember a little film called jaws  in this film  three independentminded men suddenly found themselves on a fishing boat in pursuit of a deadly shark  they didnt much like each other at first  eventually  they started to respect one another  one of jaws great scenes involved the wouldbeahabs drinking and singing songs and telling stories  this is the sort of malebonding foreign to bay or his producer  jerry bruckheimer  who throw too many characters into the mix and expect well care about them on the grounds that the world is about to end  not once do we get the feeling that these characters are even acquaintancesid be surprised if these actors bothered to introduce themselves to one another before  action  was called  a male friend who loved the film suggested to me that perhaps i cannot relate to a bunch of men who dont bare their souls  who believe in dying macho concepts like heroism and a kind of chestbeating bravery  to this  i will respond that the boys in armageddon are neither heroic  nor brave  nor smart  even  this team couldnt build a birdhouse  and if i get no respect for disliking a movie with all the synthetic feeling of a trailera trailer for a movie written by a team of bodybuilders and greeting card authorsive never been a prouder wimp my whole life  
neg	the one question that eats at me after seeing corky romano is why touchstone spent so much money marketing this throwaway film  since june  i havent been able to turn on the tv or go to the movies without getting hit by some ad depicting chris kattan as the spastic corky  shrieking out ahas  take on me  in his yellow miata  why would disney sink so much cash into the corky hype machine  honestly  i was hoping that all the goofball ads were actually a front for a decently funny movie  man  was i wrong  corky romano is one of those throwaway  clich  ridden tvstartofilm vehicles built upon the most rickety of plots  fortunately for chris kattans precariously positioned career  corky does have some good laughs  even if most of them are of the lowestbrow variety  kattan plays the title character  the unsinkable assistant veterinarian corky who has a penchant for sunshiny 80s tunes  bright ties  and banal coffee mug slogans   you dont have to be crazy to work here  but it sure helps     when his mob boss dad  peter falk  is about to be put away on murder charges  his bungling  lughead brothers  peter berg and chris penn  rope in innocent  black sheep corky to infiltrate the fbi as an agent and steal the evidence  predictably  hijinks ensue  if the basic plot sounds bad  wait until you get into the innerworkings of this clunker  the writers will amaze you with the depth of their inanity  corkys fbi agent identity is named corky pissant   thats pronounced peesahn  its french     he becomes a firstrate agent by accidentally stumbling mr  magoostyle onto the proper clues and talking his way in and out of situations  which plays like something out of a sitcom  and not a good sitcom  i mean  the romano family brothers even insult each other by farting in each others face  and in a scene taken straight from theres something about mary  corky gives a dachshund mouthtomouth resuscitation  but its not a complete disaster  the manic kattan does occasionally rescue some comic moments  including a bit featuring a cat in a fat suit named jesus and another involving schoolchildren  a german shephard  and a kilo of cocaine  plus  berg  whose career has obviously gone downhill since the last seduction and chicago hope  gives a great turn as the illiterate brother paulie  and  its nice to see that richard roundtree of shaft fame is getting work  unfortunately for those out there who cant truly appreciate animal or fart jokes  corky wont have much to offer you  so the next time one of those pesky ads appears on your tv  asking   who is corky   you can simply reply   who cares   
neg	kids today  they dont just want to see heartthrob and master thespian freddie prinze jr  loving on the ladies  no  they want to see him doing something that takes a little more in the acting department  namely  playing baseball  through a series of drippy voiceovers  we are informed that theres no better proving ground for major league baseball than the cape cod summer baseball leagues  where college alsorans and hopeful dropouts go to play in the hopes of attracting big league attention  our man freddie has landed a spot as a pitcher on the prestigious chatham as  where he is hoping for his big break  its only after he is given ample time to show off his abs and scamper about in a womans thong  dont ask  that we learn what the real story of summer catch will be  that prinze is a poor townie named ryan dunne  struggling to make a name for himself  that neither his father  fred ward  nor brother  jason gedrick  pulled themselves out of their blue collar jobs and resent anyone who tries  and that the local beauty tenley  tenley   jessica biel   is so far out of his league that he probably shouldnt even bother    but of course he makes a play for her  summer catch also makes an abortive stab at another half a dozen subplots  the jealousy of fellow townie and brazen slut dee dee  brittany murphy   the alienation felt by ryans nonbaseball playing best friend  gabriel mann   or the fat chick fetish of fellow player miles  marc blucas   worst of these is a ludicrous bit involving that 70s shows wilmer valderrama and beverly dangelo  both of whom appear in the film simply to provide a nutty mrs  robinsonlike substory and to remind you of how much better done that was in bull durham  in fact  virtually all of summer catch feels like its been done better somewhere else  for starters  the film has a major question of identity  its definitely not a sports movie  and it fails pretty miserably at being a romance  the worst part is the amateurish script  cowritten by an arli writing alumnus and a guy that starred in leprechaun 3   chockfull of phony emotion  by the end  it all becomes a platform for each character to deliver a soliloquy to ryan that he must take to heart  dad is on hand to give fatherly yet drunken advice  coach  brian dennehy  just loving the fact that hes got some work on the big screen  is on hand to give the curmudgeonly counterpoint  ryans catcher  matthew lillard  playing himself again  is on hand to tell ryan to  play catch  with him and make fun of the fat fetish guy  ryans stoner best friend is on hand to give the gogetemtigerwerebehindyou talk  and the girlfriend is on hand to give heartwarmingnuzzlyfollowyourdreams counsel  before long  you start to wonder  is freddy prinze jr  is capable of having a thought of his own  dont answer that  the only real joy in the film is found in biels character  and not just because of the skimpy outfits  which are also usually wet  shes the only one in the movie that is able to do much with her role  taking the rebellingagainstdaddy character to at least a passing grade  when shes on screen  the time flies by  when shes not  you realize that for some ungodly reason this movie is almost two hours long  for a pg13 teen romance  despite nearconstant sexual innuendo   one has to ask warner brothers  what were you thinking    for her part  biel has fallen so far from her 7th heaven roots that she has almost become denise richards  hollywood is either about to eat her alive    or vice versa  either way  good luck  jessica  as for freddie  if he keeps pumping teen romances out at the rate of two a year  prinzes next  summer catch  is liable to be a venereal disease  
neg	plot  two sister witches have to live with a curse placed upon their family  which prevents them from ever enjoying a full life with a lover  the hex invokes the eventual demise of their loved one  when one of their past loves comes back to haunt them  they have to figure a way out of their eternal dilemma  critique  ive been waiting for a good witch movie for a while now  but hold on to your brooms and incantations  cause this puppy is far from being it  for a film that has the word  magic  in its title  this movie contains very few moments of magic    or humor for that matter  drama  suspense  or romance  well actually  there is some manufactured romance within a plot that is so muddled  it never lets you in on whether its a comedy  a drama  a horror show  or a murder mystery  or maybe its a romance  eh  it doesnt really matter  cause the characters in the film are so boring and uninteresting  that you have absolutely no basis on which to care for them  or the film as a whole  if only the filmmakers had spent as much time on the plot as they did the sinfully obvious soundtrack  this film mightve had a chance to be more than what it is now  which is an unentertaining  crappy film that uses the witch angle as a diversionary tactic to weave us away from its grabbag of stupid voiceovers  overdone songs  melodramatic romance  undeveloped story and uneven acting  i only wish that i could make that one hour and fortyfive minutes of my life reappear  but alas  it is lost in the spiritual world of  interesting ideas gone wildly awry   little known facts about this film and its stars  this film is based on the novel written by alice hoffman  coscreenwriter akiva goldsman also wrote the screenplay for 1997s batman  robin  director griffin dunne is known mainly as an actor in such films as an american werewolf in london and after hours  
neg	tristar  rated r  language  sexual situations  violence   87 minutes director and writer  darren stein cast  rose mcgowan  rebecca gayheart  judy greer  julie benz  chad christ  ethan erickson  carol kane  pam grier  tatyana m  ali  review by  geoff berkshire jawbreaker is the very definition of a  ripoff   this uninspired teen comedy takes equal parts carrie  1976   heathers  1989  and clueless  1995  and mixes in all the necessary teen movie clich  s  along the way writerdirector darren stein forgets to give the film a life of its own  the film opens with a voice over from geeky fern mayo  judy greer  about the four most popular girls at reagan high  courtney shayne  rose mcgowan  who can basically be summed up as satan in heels  julie freeman  rebecca gayheart  a good girl with the face of a supermodel  marcie fox  julie benz  a dimwitted blonde who demands that people call her  foxy   and liz purr  charlotte roldan  an angel in disguise  liz is everyones favorite because shes both beautiful and kind  liz is about to turn 17 and  as a prank  courtney convinces the other girls to help her in kidnapping liz on her birthday morning  in order to keep liz from making any noise courtney stuffs a jawbreaker into her mouth before they gag her  they then stuff liz in the trunk of courtneys car but when they open it later  polaroid camera waiting to capture the moment  their lives will never be the same  poor liz has swallowed the jawbreaker and choked to death with it lodged in her throat  the audience is treated to a few too many graphic looks at lizs dead body   courtney  thinking fast  decides to pass the death off as a rapemurder and marcie and a reluctant julie assist her  things get complicated when fern discovers what the three girls are up to  in order to keep her quiet courtney comes up with another plan and transforms geeky fern into  vylette   hoping that she will also help to replace liz in the minds of the devastated students  up until about this point the film is effective enough  however  an investigation begins into lizs death and the film becomes excessively dull  the recently rediscovered talents of pam grier are thoroughly wasted in the role of detective vera cruz and the film is downright insipid in its treatment of both the characters and the audience during this long middle stretch  courtneys plan to frame a sleazy guy  marilyn manson  in a brief cameo  is never believable for a second  meanwhile  the audience is stuck watching a string of random events which fail to develop the characters or add anything of interest to the plot  julie leaves the group and begins a lame romance with aspiring actor zack  chad christ   he apparently gives her the courage to turn on courtney but the way things develop only make julie look stupid  ferns rise to popularity is equally lame  we do get the best scene in the film  the only one with a spark of originality  during this section  its a smart and subversive bit where courtney gets the high schools resident jock stud dane  ethan erickson  to demonstrate  using a popsicle  exactly what he would like for her to do to him  it at least provides us with a look at courtneys personality but the way the scene finishes doesnt make any sense  stein is very conscious of the teen movie tradition he is working in and not only freely borrows major plot elements but also includes direct acknowledgment of this with some stunt casting  william katt and p  j  soles  students in carrie  are lizs distraught parents  jeff conaway  from grease  1978   is julies creepy single dad and carol kane  the frightened babysitter in when a stranger calls  1979   camps it up as principal miss sherman  at times jawbreaker feels simply like teen cinemas greatest hits but the audience is cheated with watered down interpretations of the best this genre has to offer  the only notable aspect of jawbreaker is the incredibly stylish look  the costume design by vickie brinkford and the production design by jerry fleming are both bright and vivid  they were apparently instructed to work from the color palette of a jawbreaker and the screen is always splashed with bits of vibrant color  director of photography amy vicent  who beautifully lensed eves bayou  1997   does a remarkable job here as well  shot composition and camera movement is consistently impressive  performances are mostly subpar with mcgowan providing only a few good moments  compared with her excellent work in the doom generation  1995  and scream  1996   and gayheart making the biggest impression due to the sweet nature of her character and her obvious beauty  none of the actors look as if they have set foot inside a high school within the last five years with the exception of actresssinger tatyana ali  who has a small role as a cheerleader  the male cast all resemble male models and are credited with names like  auto stud    college stud   and  high school stud 2   the soundtrack is decent and imperial teens catchy  yoo hoo  makes a bigger impression than any other aspect of the film  
neg	 with all that education  you should know what happiness is   starring sylvia chang  teresa hu  hsu ming  li lieh  mao hsuehwei  directed by edward yang  written by yang and wu nienchen  cinematography by christopher doyle and chang huikung every country has  eventually  its new wave  france had its nouvelle vague  brazil its cinema novo  china its fifth generation  and on and on  some waves just take longer than others  before they wash over us  cleansing us with the balm of discovery  taiwans new wave came in the 1980s  in the work of directors like hou hsiaohsien  wan jen  and edward yang  that day  on the beachyangs first featureis central  it created a new language for young taiwanese directors  even if the first attempts to speak that language were hesitant and faltering  later works refined the techniques that yang first explored here  giving taiwan a distinctive international presence  that day itself is long and frustrating  the document of a nations attempt to find a voice  it does not lack ambition  it anatomizes urban life in modern taiwan  in the manner of antonioni  elaborating the alienation that the westernized whitecollar middleclass feel as their lives are shaped by oldfashioned rolesdedicated career men  loyal housewivesthat they find unfulfilling  jiali  sylvia chang  is the focus  but the film brings others into its compassher husband  her brother  friends from her college daysas it charts her discontents  no one is happy  jiali married her husband  welei  at a young age  at the time  her brother had been urged into an arranged marriage  despite his affection for another woman  and so jialis marriage seemed  in comparison  a good one  she chose welei of her own free will  they loved each other  but it goes wrong  that day dutifully presents all the clich  s  welei becomes absorbed in his career  indulges in an affair with a coworker  jiali feels restless and trapped  bound by a choice she made while young  but which no longer seems wise  the film never redeems these clich  s by conveying the feel of authentic experience  the intensity of lived pain  and much of it seems trite and belaboured  it unfolds  awkwardly  as a series of flashbacks  told during a luncheon in vienna  where jiali meets her brothers old flame  teresa hu   now a concert pianist  whom she has not seen since college  both women seem rather sad  and resigned to their sadness  their circumstances  and those of jialis brother and a college friend  suggest not so much that they have made the wrong choicesmarried the wrong man  chosen the wrong career path  etc  but rather that the choices available to them were inadequate  it is not that jiali married the wrong man  she didnt  the problem is that she needed to marry at alland that if she did not marry  she would still be just as unhappy  for a woman in modern taiwan  that day tells us  the cards are stacked  the dice are loaded  she can play the game  but the house always wins  the films sympathetic feminist implications are presumably the reason it caused such controversy upon its release in taiwan  seen now  it does not seem provocative  indeed  its hard to imagine anyone having felt passionate enough about the film to generate any controversy  it may be ambitious  it may be innovative  but it is also terribly  terribly dull  and what was new for taiwan was not necessarily new for the rest of us  yang adopts methods established years before by antonioni and others  and his use of those methods is fumbling  uncertain  undisciplined  nor does he bring anything newother than the localeto the material  there are moments when that day takes on some of the emotional richness it strives forin a young couples first kiss  in the awkward meeting of a woman and her husbands mistressbut they are brief  too often  yang devotes needless time to mundane scenesgrocery shopping  flowerarrangingin which nothing happens  little is said  no emotion imparted  perhaps  if the film were content to focus on such reflective  inward moments  leaving us to guess at thoughts and feelings  it might have been ambiguous  suggestive  insinuating  but jiali and her disaffected companions do not only brood in silence  they talk about their problems  at length  in detail  redundantly  and eliminate all subtleties  at two hours and fortyfive minutes  it all seems exorbitantly long  indulgently longwinded  consider the defining moment for jiali  the titular day on the beach  the thrust of the whole film explains  easily enough  what we are to think of that moment  what it means when she walks away from a particular situation  even so  the film has not one but two characters explain it for us verbally  in case we may have missed the point  needless time is devoted to expressing what should have remained unexpressed  and that is the problem throughout  the look of the film is as tedious as the drawnout narrative  it was the first feature shot by christopher doyleat least  its his name in the creditswho is now rightly regarded as one of the worlds leading cinematographers  in the freewheeling expressionism of his work with directors like chen kaige and wong karwai  he seems incapable of fashioning a boring image  you would never know it from watching that day  which  due either to doyles inexperience or yangs humdrum direction  is almost perverse in its insistence on making the physical environment seem as drab and banal as possible  in scrutinizing the long decay of a marriage  that day manages to capture the ennui of the experience  but none of the damage  none of the heartbreak  
neg	the first in a very long list of things wrong with  i still know what you did last summer  is the title  think about it for a second  if the last movie was called  i know what you did last summer   wouldnt the next movie have to be  i still know what you did two summers ago   if anyone working on this movie had an i  q  greater than five would have thought about it logically and said   hey    wait a minute   but alas  the people behind this film are obviously idiots  so i wont hold them to that  what i will hold them to is the fact that they have a pretty bad movie on their hands  even for a teenage slasher flick  i guess im one of the few critics who actually kind of liked the original film  emphasis on the  kind of    it wasnt great or anything and maybe not even necessarily good  but at least it didnt have me glancing at my watch every minute or so like its sequel did  there are just so many problems with this movie that its hard trying to figure out where to start  first of all  i guess  is the setting  the movie offers no rational reason why the film had to take place in the bahamas  other than the fact that the producers wanted a seaside setting  exactly why does the fisherman want to go through all the trouble of faking a radio contest to get julie james  jennifer love hewitt  one of the only survivors of the first film  and her new college buddies out to the islands before he hacks them up  the movie suffers from this kind of logic all the way through  in one scene  julie is in a tanning booth at a deserted gym when the hooked fisherman with the slicker comes in and seals up the booth so the damsel in distress cant get out  no matter how hard she tries  when julie discovers shes going to slowly fry to death  she screams for help and her friends come to her rescue  now  this is all fine and dandy except for one thing  instead of spending five minutes trying to bust open the booth  why not just turn the freakin thing off  in another scene  one of the characters  after having their significant other all but decapitated by the man in the slicker  says to julie   just dont tell anybody it rained the whole time   oh yeah  ive just been terrorized by a hook wielding sociopath and had some of my best friends gruesomely slaughtered  but hey  ill crack jokes anyway  after all  it is in the script  the films only saving graces are a few wellexecuted suspense sequences and a really cool cameo by the  reanimator himself  jeffrey combs  he brings some good comic relief and life to an otherwise limp movie  way to go  jeffrey  i have a hunch that the reason this film fizzles while the first one at least kept its head above water is the recent absence of writer kevin williamson  with  scream  and even its sequel  he displayed a real talent as a screenwriter  his ear for dialogue and the terrific endings he puts on all his films make him a standout from all the rest of the horror writers  and i think  i still know  has really suffered by not having him on board  the cool atmosphere is still there this time around  but i just didnt like the characters or the writing as much as i did in the first one  even though the movie doesnt have williamson  it still has a hacky ending  trying to do what kevin did with the first two  scream  s by  some may consider this a spoiler  but if you have seen any horror movies whatsoever  then you should be able to guess the identity of the madman within twenty minutes  having two killers and  this time  having one of them being a family member to the other  i think someone in the audience put it best when  after the movie had ended with another  the killer is back   cliffhanger  he said  who is this time  the grandma   all in all   i still know  tries to be as successful as the first the film was  but really fails in the attempt  i mean  its okay when slasher movies ripoff each other  but when they start copying themselves    
neg	 theres nothing new under the sun  is a phrase often used when the speaker actually means  lets find something to copy   of course there are very few completely original ideas  even earthshattering concepts are built upon the vast body of human experience  there is  after all  no need to reinvent the wheel time after time  recently it seems that hollywood doesnt feel the need to even rewrite the script  my understanding of the word  sequel  is a continuation of the story  the film industry has defined the word to mean reshooting the original with minor changes  have an overwhelming desire to see an inferior version of brian depalmas adaptation of the steven king novel  this is your dream come true  rachel  emily bergl   a high school outcast  is beginning to notice weird things happening around her  doors slam shut by themselves  glass globes blow up  her mother has severe mental problems and her father is absent  a popular boy unexpectedly asks her out  the incrowd conspires to embarrass her at a public event  any of this sound familiar  once the audience catches on that this is the same story as  carrie   theres little to do but wait for the inevitable ending  the effects are a bit better this time around  but the film doesnt work nearly as well  there are a couple of minor plot differences  rachel lives with foster parents because her mother is institutionalized  the boys at her school are portrayed as even more evil than in the original  they keep score of their scoring with points given for each conquest  and  uh  there must be other story changes but none stand out  one nice touch is the casting of amy irving again as sue snell  over 20 years ago she was the one girl who tried to help carrie  now a high school counselor  she befriends rachel  but her characters potential is squandered  theres too much about sue that doesnt make sense  after the slaughter when carrie kills most of her classmates  sue is driven mad and spends time in the institution that rachels mother is in  still living in the same small town  the woman with a wellknown history of mental problems is hired as a high school counselor  sue tells rachel that her telekinesis is a genetic disease  this may be the one original idea in the film  but the reasoning behind describing psychic powers as a  disease  is never explained  sues eventual fate is an admission by director katt shea and writer rafael moreu that they had an interesting character but couldnt figure out what to do with her  blink and youll miss it  some of the events are filmed in black and white  but the rationale for this is unknown  it doesnt add anything and the choice of scenes appears somewhat random   the rage  retains some of the trappings of  carrie  without the meaning  in the first film the color red was a motif connected to carries onset of powers at the same time she began menstruating  here theres an abundance of red  but for no apparent purpose  the casting of high school jocks and cheerleaders as villains is beginning to wear thin  one might be lead to suspect that most filmmakers were unpopular in school and the history of teenage films is an extended cinematic revenge of the nerds  the biggest mistake the film makes is including clips of the original  seeing sissy spacek on the screen only points to the quality of that film  and the flaws in this one  
neg	plot outline  wendy  samantha press   a jazz singer  loves mack  hugo race  a criminal and wanna be rock singer whos planning a bank heist  mack is also being tailed by a couple of cops  one an inexperienced rookie  dominic sweeney   the other  john flaus  a worn out veteran who frequents wendys jazz club  theyre tailing mack  because he has an audiotape that may show evidence of governmental corruption  meanwhile wendys sexually awakener  fifteen year old sister  rebecca elmaloglou  has moved in with her  and is secretly watching mack and wendys late night love trysts  much zaniness ensues the review  main problem first  about 2 of rood rock star to actor conversions in filmdom ever really work  unfortunately  trying to cast hugo race as a violent  sexy criminal falls into the  what the hell where they thinking  category that takes up 98 of the rest  but  hell  its not as if hes the only problem in this wellintentioned but ultimately below average aussie thriller  leads  race and samantha press are wooden and dull  hampered by some unfortunate attempts at sexy dialogue early on  though they do manage some heat later in their love scenes  helped  no doubt by them keeping their mouths shut  the film suffers every time the story shifts back to these two  which is unfortunately  the other main story isnt any great shakes either  the second part  concerning two cops  political corruption and that elusive tape is incredibly muddled  at many points during the movie i had no idea what was going on  a situation that didnt improve on repeated viewing  there is no doubt that this films achilles heel is its script  as for the rest of the cast  its a mixed bag  john flaus  one of australias most criminally underused actors  is in top form as the withering  alcoholic jazz fan cop  who may or may not have sold out to the highest bidder  although he falters at one point  when the script calls for him to get up on stage and deliver a drunken beat sermon  but believe me  they way it was written  no one could have pulled it off  dominic sweeney is fine  though he seems to be uneasy in front of the lens but he really isnt given a whole lot to do  pre home and away elmaloglou is pretty good as the inquisitive jojo  but her character seems extraneous to the story  well  at least until the final scenes  i must admit  in too deep does have some impressive qualities  not the least of which is it visual element  cinematographers mark gilfedder  peter zakharov have achieved the almost impossible by making melbourne look like a sweat drenched tropic city  which is akin to turning london into san paolo  the bar is an oppressive red  like all of its patrons are being baked while they drink  outside it hazy orange by day and cool blue by night  if only deborah parsons script could have supported this idea better  having two directors  colin south  john tatoulis  doesnt help either  the most glaring example of which is the final retributionfight scene  where for some reason the camera pulls away from the onscreen action  and more importantly it doesnt pull away to anything else  it just stays static as the fight happens in the distance  it has no reason to it  its just bad direction  and  ultimately  that is what sums up in too deep  its tries to be good  and you want it to work  but  its just lacking the talent behind it  that it needs to succeed  
neg	the scene at the end of 1989s dead poets society   when robin williams english students stand up on their desk and say  captain  my captain   gets me every time  unfortunately  the court room scene near the end of robins newest film  patch adams   doesnt have anywhere near the same impact  from the surface patch adams looks very promising  its a story about a not so young man  patch adams  robin williams   who finds meaning in his life through helping sick people  when the film opens  we find patch  depressed and suicidal  checking himself into a mental hospital  in a few scenes  strongly reminiscent of one flew over the cuckoos nest   he ends up helping the patients through their problems  and its here that he finds how much he loves working with people  so he checks himself out of the hospital  and heads straight to medical school  right from the start  patch uses comedy to help make the patient more comfortable  he continuously breaks medical tradition and makes the dean of the school angry  shortly after joining medical school  he meets and falls in love with carin  monica potter   they  along with patchs dork friend  truman  daniel london   start a medical clinic for uninsured people  once the dean catches wind of the clinic  he tells patch he cant graduate and kicks him out of school  patch  like what any true american would do  takes the school to court  its here where the not so climatic court room battle takes place  over whether or not patch can become a real doctor  i have never seen a movie with some potential just completely blow it  it seems more like a series of short sketches  rather than a fulllength movie  considering it runs almost two hours  much too long for such a light film  it could have flowed much smoother  not to mention the fact of how serious the film takes itself  and manages to cover all the cliches of bad melodrama  robin williams saves the film from being abysmal with several comic scenes that elevate the movie to entertaining and worthwhile levels  but those moments are rare and in the end patch adams is barely average  
neg	the real blonde  r  a womans face  an arm  some pumpedup pectorals  blond hair  a mans sad face  slender legs  a random hand here and there  as the opening credits of tom dicillos the real blonde unfold  these scattered  fractured glimpses eventually come together to form the image of a bikini briefclad man on his knees clinging to a nurturing woman  his head concealing her unclothed breasts  if only the rest of this formless  aimless ensemble comedy assembled so coherently  joe  matthew modine  is a waiterstruggling actor too proud to take gigs in commercials or soap operas  hes feeling somewhat dissatisfied with his relationship with his livein love  mary  catherine keener   who holds some subconscious hostility toward the male gender  mary  a makeup artist  regularly works on model sahara  bridgette wilson   who is obsessed with the underlying messages in disneys the little mermaid  the bottle blonde has a turbulent onagain  offagain relationship with bob  maxwell caulfield   a soap actor who yearns for the taste of a real blonde  which he finds in costar kelly  daryl hannah   as the film unspools  a variety of other characters pass through  fashion photographer blair  marlo thomas   marys shrink  buck henry  and selfdefense instructor  denis leary   joes casting agent  kathleen turner  and hardass boss  christopher lloyd   and a mystery woman  elizabeth berkley  who keeps on crossing joes path  where exactly does all this go  thats a question best posed to writerdirector dicillo  who doesnt appear to have the slightest clue himself  his meandering  largely unfunny script and direction are like hopelessly lost drivers  turning into deadend narrative streets only to reverse course and hit another creative culdesac  and another  and another  at one point bob  frustrated with the soap scripts  complains to the head writer  jim fyfe  that his and kellys characters keep on going in circles  with no hint of development or growth  that is most certainly the case here  joe gets a job and ultimately botches things  he and mary bicker  they make up  only to have the pattern repeat itself  unhappy with his bottle blonde  bob gets his real blonde but is unsatisfied  he returns to the faux and is still unsatisfied  if there is a point to all of this  dicillo dances around it  spending his time on apparent digressions that  as it turns out  arent digressions at all  the real blonde is not without some amusements  it does have the occasional funny line and situation  leary  henry  lloyd  steve buscemi  and dave chappelle shine in their small roles  keener is a likable  refreshingly earthy lead  berkleys appearance is mercifully brief  she receives outrageously prominent billing and ad placement for a tenminute role   and there is the irony of having caulfield play a wildly popular soap star who makes the ratings skyrocket  last year  the actor was fired from the daytime drama all my children after a scant six monthsdue to lack of viewer interest   but on the whole  the real blonde is a frustrating sit that lives up to the stereotypes of its titleit may be glossy on the surface  but theres nothing going on inside   opens february 27  
neg	 jack frost   is one of those dumb  corny concoctions that attempts to be a heartwarming family film  but is too muddled in its own cliches and predictability to be the least bit touching  this does not come as a surprise  since the studio that made it is warner brothers  who is on a current streak of one bad film after the other  jack frost  michael keaton  is a struggling middleaged rock musician who loves his wife  gabby  kelly preston   and 11yearold son  charlie  joseph cross   but doesnt spend nearly enough time with them  when he receives a call from a music label that wants to hear him play  he has to cancel his planned family outing up in the mountains for christmas  halfway there  jack has second thoughts  but on his way back home  is in a car accident and dies  switch forward a year  christmas is approaching once again  and charlie and gabby are still having a difficult time coming to terms with jacks death  when charlie begins to play the harmonica his father gave him the night before he died  the snowman outside the house is taken over by jacks spirit  jack wants to spend some time with his son before the upcoming warm front melts him  but charlie desperately tries to prevent his melting demise   frosty the snowman   is a classic cartoon  and the idea of a snowman that is alive works splendidly when animated  but as a liveaction film  it doesnt work at all  after a somewhat promising prologue in which the frost family is established   jack frost   quickly goes downhill  especially once the snowman comes into play  since jack has been deceased for a whole year  you would think there would be many questions to ask him  such as   what happens after you die   or   how does it feel to be a snowman   but instead  the film focuses on a snowball fight subplot and an inevitably oversentimental climax that could be telegraphed before i even sat down to watch the movie  the performances are respectable enough  but no one deserves to be punished by appearing in a silly film like this  michael keaton at least got off easy  since he disappears after the first twenty minutes  but what exactly does he think he is doing with his career here  i have always liked kelly preston  she is clearly a talented  charismatic actress  but has never been given a good role in her life  usually having to settle for a onedimensional supporting character  as in  1997s   nothing to lose   and   addicted to love   joseph cross was probably the highlight in the cast  since he believably portrayed a boy suffering the loss of a parent  in one of the only subplots that actually works  due to its wittiness  henry rollins is highly amusing as a hockey coach who becomes terrified and paranoid after seeing the live snowman  this brief hint of cleverness is pushed to the side  however  by the triedandtrue main plot at hand  which is the sappy story of a father and son  since i knew what was going to happen by the time the conclusion came around  i had no choice but to sit there and listen to painfully insipid  cringeinducing lines of dialogue  some of my favorites was an interaction between the son and father   you da man   says charlie   no  i da snowman   replies jack  or how about this little zinger  coming from a school bully that miraculously becomes friendly towards charlie and tries to help him out   snowdad is better than no dad   do people really get paid in hollywood for writing pieces of trash like this  the snowman  created by john hensons creature shop  is more believable than the snowman from last years unintentionally hilarious directtovideo horror flick  also called   jack frost   but it still was difficult to tell if it was a person in a suit or computer effects  either way  it was an awful lot of work to go through  just to come up with a final product as featherbrained as this project  as a seasonal holiday picture   jack frost   is pretty much a clunker  a better christmas film from this year is   ill be home for christmas   better yet  my suggestion would be to stay home and watch a quality film  such as   its a wonderful life    a christmas story   or   prancer    jack frost   is an earnest  but severely misguided film  and children  as well as adults  deserve better  i doubt they would want to see a movie about the death of a parent  anyway  
neg	some movies require you to turn off your brain in order to watch  then there are movies that require you to accept that everyone  in  the movie has turned off  their  brains  the real mccoy is both  its charmless  molassesslow and so full of genuinely stupid people that the film commission of atlanta  where the real mccoy is set  might well consider some sort of ritual suicide for their complicity in this humiliation  the real mccoy opens with bank robber karen mccoy  kim basinger  being arrested in the middle of a job  six years later  karen is out on parole and looking to stay straight  she soon bumps into j  t  barker  val kilmer   a hapless wouldbe thief who idolizes karen  j  t  also has ties to jack schmidt  terence stamp   the man who blew the whistle on karen six years earlier for refusing to work with him  schmidt  who is in cahoots with karens sleazy parole officer  gailard sartain   again wants karen to help him stage a robbery  this time he has some leverage  karens kidnapped son  just when she thought she was out  they keep pulling her back  in   contrivances and sloppy plotting fly off the screen so fast and furiously you have to duck to avoid being hit by them  leading the list is the jack schmidt character  who through unexplained but presumably foul mains is already extremely wealthy when our story begins  there is no reason given why he should need or want to get involved in another crime  let alone why he would actually participate in the breakin  karens initial encounter with j  t  during a botched convenience store holdup also strains the limits of credibility  it would have been simple enough to have them somehow entangled at that point  but instead they run into each other the next day because theyre leaving their parole officers at exactly the same moment  small world  eh  then theres the convenient car trouble during an attempted escape  and pet tigers which  through the power of the laws of bad cinema  must inevitably confront someone who has blundered into their cage  however  the buffoon prize goes to the atlanta police  who come off like the keystone kops on a bad day  but the fun doesnt end there in the shambles of a script by william davies and william osborne  there is also the absence of a single  solitary interesting character  karen is earnest and singleminded in her motherly devotion  but lacking any kind of edge which would make her a convincing criminal  and basinger is not a thespian adept at fleshing out flimsy material  schmidt is a flaccid villain  the parole officer is a complete blank  and karens son and exhusband might as well be furniture  only kilmers j  t  is remotely appealing  but his one potentially intriguing quality  his ineptitude  is never developed  in fact  kilmer disappears during the middle of the film  just when his admiration for karen could have made for an interesting subplot  i might have been more forgiving if the pacing had been more appropriate to a caper comedy  but the real mccoy goes nowhere fast  various scenes of sneaking and skulking seem to take forever  and some end with no reason evident why they didnt end up on the cutting room floor  even the reasonably clever climactic breakin falls victim to this syndrome  including a scene of one of the thieves drilling open a vault which lasts  i kid you not  four minutes  there is no tension in the scene  just tedium  russell mulcahy  highlander  is a director with some style  and indeed the real mccoy looks reasonably good  but he completely stumbles in the editing room  there are so many big problems with the real mccoy that im tempted to overlook the little ones  like karen disarming one of schmidts henchmen and throwing his gun into the middle of a park where her son is playing  like a fountain crushed when a van runs into it reappearing in one piece a few moments later  tempted  but im pretty good at resisting temptation  
neg	you think that these people only exist in the movies  but trust me  theyre as real as life  i once talked to a guy who thought the united states government was putting satellites into orbit which could fry an individual persons brain with microwaves  then i sat in a room full of people who believed that the government rigged state elections  i even listened to a man who swore that nicotine was an additive that cigarette companies put in their products for the specific goal of getting people addicted  these people had what are known as  conspiracy theories   ideas about how unseen forces work to deceive and control the public  a little imagination goes a long way  in richard donners conspiracy theory  jerry fletcher  mel gibson  is a new york city cab driver who seems to have a conspiracy theory about everything  his latest  that nasa is trying to kill the president by causing an earthquake from the space shuttle  might sound outrageous to us  but is all in a days work for him  he combs the newspaper  looking for tidbits that leave telltale warnings about the goingson behind the scenes  and from there jerry draws his conclusions  upstanding citizen that he is  he tries to convince alice sutton  julia roberts  of the justice department that the president must be warned  lucky gal  alice  who met jerry when he saved her from a couple of muggers and has had to listen to his theories during the six months since  what she doesnt know is that jerrys interest in her is far more than  well  professional  he goes to great lengths to follow her around and watch her in her own apartment  but when some secret government types seem to take an interest in jerrys ideas and his limitedcirculation  conspiracy theory  newsletter  he finds himself in danger and in real need of alices help  one of the problems with conspiracy theory is that it tries to pass itself off as an actionthriller when it seems to have neither a whole lot of action  nor a significant number of thrills  part of this is a result of the films slow pace  it takes forever to set up the relationship between jerry and alice  and even once that is over with  the rest of the film seems to be a lot of boredom that every once in a while stops to take a break for excitement  at over two hours  this film could have been significantly condensed and had its running time shortened by twenty minutes to half an hour  but even then  the action scenes would not be able to save the film  instead of truly exciting and engaging set pieces  were treated to a few of the generic scenes with the requisite  black elements   black helicopter  men in black action suits and body armor  black vehicles  you know the drill  they come on down with all kinds of neat gadgets and weapons  but for some reason a guy with just a bunch of theories and some chick with no training somehow manage to elude them every time  big deal  weve seen it all before  watching the film  i wished donner had at least tried to use a little imagination  but i was out of luck  now  when i say it took forever to set up the  relationship  between jerry and alice  i completely mean what one person is relative to the other  and not romantic involvement  oh  donner and screenwriter brian helgeland would like you to believe that by the end of the movie  the two main characters will end up falling hopelessly in love with each other  but there seems to be no evidence of that ever occurring  you see  there were more sparks between gibson and danny glover in the lethal weapon movies  also directed by donner  than between gibson and roberts in conspiracy theory  the two just dont click  and when you throw in a number of happenings that would cause alice to reject jerry altogether  like finding out hes been stalking her   the subsequent attraction is absolutely forced  the script in general also seems forced  like someone sat helgeland down and forced him to write it  then took it and forced it upon us  dialog is undistinguished and rather unmemorable  to the point that i almost stopped listening  even gibsons usual gift for ad lib couldnt punch up the film sufficiently to raise my interest  although one of jerrys theories about oliver stone was mildly amusing  unfortunately  much of whats discussed in the film is not inherently important to whats going on  but instead filler that starts out with potential  but ends up just being extraneous because its never followed through  for example  jerry professes that a man found drowned in his swimming pool was actually murdered by the government in a new york subway station  he even goes so far as to explain that the station was flooded at the time due to a water main break  hence the water in a subway station   and that the coroner should check the mans lungs for chlorine  this is convincing enough to alice that she seems to believe him  you know what happens then  nothing  zip  nada  no followup whatsoever  so whats the significance  okay  heres another one  a couple of well known  real life  assassins were found to have possessed copies of the j  d  salinger novel  the catcher in the rye   jerry also has a bunch of copies  whenever he goes into a bookstore  he has to buy one  leaving out the question of whether or not this makes jerry an assassin  were never given a reason to believe why this would make him an assassin  not when we find out about his salinger collection  not when he goes to the bookstore  not later on when we get the answer to our first question  the point becomes totally extraneous  oh  did i mention that patrick stewart is in this film  yeah  he plays this government psychiatrist named dr  jonas who may or may not be a bad guy  thats about it  for all the presence this usually marvelous actor has  hes nearly forgettable in conspiracy theory  you can just lump him in with the supporting players  with the exception of cylk cozart who plays agent lowry of the fbi  this guy was really likable  and i wish he and his character had gotten more screen time  okay  heres my theory  this really started out as a great film  but some of its jokes were actually true  the government came in and forced donner to make edits for the sake of national security  and this was what was left over  
neg	my son and i share a perverse predilection for bad movies  we are amused and entertained by the cheap thrills  the corny dialog  the ludicrous premises and the bad acting  since other family members aspire to higher forms of entertainment  we usually wind up indulging our proclivity together  i cant remember when we disagreed on the relative merits of a clunker until species 2 came along  he was not amused  i on the other hand was able to easily suspend the applicable requirements in the usual manner and declare myself suitably entertained  perhaps the evident skills that were brought to the process of producing a bad product was what prevented him from extracting fun out of mediocrity  i on the other hand appreciated the fact that the producers and director knew exactly what they were doing  insulting my intelligence  and brought adequate moviemaking skills to the project a movie does not have to be good to be well made  at least in terms of the craft  the movie could have been better if it were not so brusque  this movie slaps you with conception  pregnancy  delivery and young childhood in consecutive frames  without pausing for infancy  the producers of nescafe have nothing on this alien race in which a womans womb balloons immediately after the male orgasm  and a few seconds later a young child tears its way out of her abdomen in a sloppy and gory version of an insideout cesarean  an autopsy scene in which a buzz saw cuts through the cranium was not the kind of indulgence that i condone  to say nothing of the fact that it was scientifically incorrect  in a real autopsy the saw does not cut through the scalp  it is used only after the skull has been exposed  the opening sequences of exploration of mars were very good  the writers showed excellent skills for ceremonial speech writing but the spontaneous dialogue would qualify for a subtitle  as bad as it gets  as the movie progressed i vowed to remember the lines that made me cringe but only one stuck  eve  natasha henstridge  was cloned from sil  the original alien sexual predator  but her mating instinct was artificially attenuated  which was all that was needed to turn her into a noble and cooperative prisoner  in a wistful display of resignation and understanding she tells her friend and jailer  marg helgenberger   i think of all the places that i will never see and all the people that i will never meet   its enough to melt the most callous heart  at another point she protests  im human too  you know   she is only half right  peter medak  the director  knows his business  justin lazard as the doomed astronaut does nothing to enhance his hollywood credentials  james cromwell  his father  is perfect in a short role  marg heldenberger  the dna scientist is pleasant and beautiful  natasha is an exquisite ornament  george dzunza knew and delivered what was expected of him as the dumb general that messes things up  michael madsen was there  black buddies do not usually survive in this type of movie but mykelti williamson manages to stay around for the final credits  which is more that we can say for lazard   
neg	it seemed like the perfect concept  what better for the farrelly brothers  famous for writing and directing comedies with offensive subject matter  than to make a movie about a guy with a split personality  its exactly the sort of thing the brothers relish  poking fun at something serious  in this case mental illness   throwing all care to the wind to get a laugh  jim carreys signed on too  even better  the national alliance for the mentally ill even helped out by levying complaints against the brothers new film before its opening  claiming it was misrepresenting the condition of split personality  labeling it incorrectly as  schizophrenia   and so forth  such a protest seemed like just the sort of thing that would  of course  only add more fuel to the farrelly brothers fire  proving that some people just couldnt take a joke  and that the farrellys would be helping the more enlightened viewers to yet another dose of their brilliantly subversive comedy  yes  it all seemed perfect  but one thing went wrong  their movie isnt funny  its not for lack of trying  the farrellys utilize in  me  myself  irene  their most highconcept premise ever  carrey plays charlie baileygaites  a man who after being dumped by his wife for a midget limo driver  decides to bury all his aggressive feelings deep down inside and never release them  this  of course  means all his neighbors exploit his entirely tooforgiving nature  making his job as a rhode island state trooper increasingly difficult  soon enough  charlies repressed aggression manifests itself into a second  independent personality named hank  a deepvoiced  boorish ogre unafraid of taking the assertive actions his predecessor had been unable to muster  this guy isnt above crashing a car through the wall of the barber shop in which hes been insulted  or holding a little girls head underwater because she refused to stop jumproping in the street  then things start getting lost in the most complicated plot the farrellys have ever attempted  and the film runs off its tracks  some have suggested that this isnt a problem  because the farrelly brothers brand of humor doesnt require plot to work  theyre wrong  of course  plot was greatly instrumental in building up the kind of rollicking comic energy that infused the farrellys last effort  1996s  theres something about mary    1999s  outside providence  was technically an earlier project   the brothers earlier film wasnt funny merely because it contained outrageous gags  despite what some newsmagazine articles would have you believe   but rather because its most outrageous gags were entirely unexpected  in  mary   the farrellys managed several times to pull off a neat sleightofhand trick  theyd have you thinking the story was going one way  then reveal its real direction in delightfully surprising fashion   me  myself  irene   by contrast  seems to have been made by folks who looked at  mary  and saw only the surface grossness  missing all of the subtle machinations that really made it work  having been produced by the same guys who made  mary    irene  seems like an even bigger disappointment  the brothers pile on the offensive humor  taking shots at race  midgets  albinos  mental illness  and all manner of bathroom jokes  but they havent come up with a way to make any of it fresh most of  me  myself  irene  comes off as rote  bythenumbers  adolescent comedy  the plot  with carrey forced to drive alleged fugitive irene p  waters  renee zellweger   whos in more trouble than anyone knows  back to new york  has an ending thats entirely predictable from the getgo   think charlie and irene will fall in love  yeah  me too   the farrellys then introduce scores of different characters  and none of them ever manage to do anything you havent already expected them to do  no matter how outrageous their actions might be  compared to the curveballs the farrellys are used to throwing  this stuff is almost entirely softtossed  presenting an obvious problem  when grossout humor loses its shock value  its no longer funny  merely gross  the jokes that do work are milked over and over until their effectiveness runs dry  take  for example  the subplot involving charlies three black sons  anthony anderson  mongo brownlee  jerod mixon   the incongruity of it all is funny for a while  with three burly black men discussing higher math in ghetto language and whitebread carrey mouthing said language with an entirely toopleasant smile on his face  but by the end of the film  theyre still doing the same schitck it hasnt been elevated to another  funnier level  and it hasnt been dropped either  thats too bad  because it ceases to be amusing about halfway through   me  myself  irene  reeks of wasted opportunities  there ought to be more focus on how other people react to charlies new personality  and on how charlie deals with the consequences of hanks actions  this doesnt really happen nearly every supporting character learns about charlies condition early on  so they dont have any opportunity to be surprised by it  the film throws what looks like a patented farrelly curve in a scene towards the midway point  involving an albino companion charlie and irene pick up called  appropriately   whitey    but the script doesnt go anywhere with it  instead leaving the thread twisting in the wind before awkwardly tying it up during the climax  jim carrey is a gifted comedian  both physically and vocally  but hes left with nothing much to do here except contort himself in a manner similar to steve martin in  all of me   its a great showcase of flexibility and splitsecond roleshifting  but none of it is terribly funny  carrey doesnt pull any stunts we dont expect him to pull  and the farrellys script doesnt give him anything else to pull  the situations in which he must perform the roleshifting arent set up in any meaningful way  perhaps carrey can take solace in the fact that his supporting actors fare no better  zellwegers irene is not a strong female lead mary in  mary  may have been part adolescent fantasy  but she was also intelligent and strongwilled  irene is nothing in particular  as the film never makes clear whether shes ditzy  clever  or neither  as such  she gives us nothing to latch onto as the only  sane  person in the film  chris cooper is stuck playing exactly one note as a corrupt fbi agent  and his character is entirely too straightlaced for a movie like this  he  like the others  does absolutely nothing unexpected  after viewing the shapeless mess that  me  myself  irene  eventually dissolved into  i was stuck wondering whether or not the farrellys had outsmarted themselves  maybe their kind of comedy can only work for so long until audiences get wise to it and stop being shocked  but i dont believe it  good filmmakers find ways of surprising their audiences even after people have grown attuned to their style  if the farrellys are indeed good  smart filmmakers  and i still think they are   theyll rebound just fine  even after that happens  though  ill still consider  me  myself  irene  to be a highcaliber misfire  
neg	wesley snipes is a master of selecting bad action roles  murder at 1600  u  s  marshals  money train  drop zone  boiling point  and the ultimate camp film  passenger 57  the art of war is another entry in this very ugly and unique category  ultimately  it is little more than a ridiculous action film with a plot as believable as the warren report  ugly violence that would have made peckinpah cringe  and terrible acting by blist actors like michael biehn and anne archer  oddly  it feels like the undiscovered sequel to another snipes  masterpiece   rising sun  the movie revolves around the convenient story of a special un operative caught up in a secret murder conspiracy involving a chinese ambassador  the chinese triad brotherhood  a rich chinese businessman  played by  that bad guy from rising sun  caryhiroyuki tagawa  a chinese un interpreter  and  inexplicably  donald sutherland  the film ends with more confusion than a boatload of chinese immigrants trying to register at ellis island  or should i say the film ends with the most blatant ripoff of both the matrix and all of john woos hong kong films combined  i am really at a loss to figure out why wesley snipes had the gumption to not only star in this action dud but also act as one of the producers of the film  i usually enjoy snipes movies  though his dramatic roles better show off his creativity as an actor than the flashiness of his action films  simply  i am amazed by the how inane the script was  filled with terrible cliches and extremely violent action sequences  director christian duguay  screamers  has a strange attraction to the viciousness of violent acts  showing splattering brains  people impaled with broken shards of glass  and lots of gargling and gagging as blood sprays everywhere  it also sickens me to know that oliver stone  one of the greatest directors working today  had his hand in producing this monstrosity  i guess snipes sold stone on the conspiracy angle and stone chose not to read the script  watch the dailies  be involved in casting  or anything else  or else hed be filing a court order to remove his name from the credits  its also seems evident that with the russkies as our new bosom buddies and the middle eastern terrorist angle being beaten to death in the last couple of years that the new international enemies in hollywood are the communist chinese  im sure over the next couple of months  even more  chinese conspiracymartialarts action flicks  are going to be popping up in your local multiplex  hopefully they wont include wesley snipes  
neg	senseless is a prime example of what can happen when you try to push a onejoke concept a bit too far  director penelope spheeris is no stranger to this  having subjected audiences before to such tortures as the beverly hillbillies  marlon wayans stars as darryl witherspoon  a college senior vying for a lucrative job at a prominent brokerage  however  he lacks the advantages of his chief opposition  scott thorpe  david spade  in the smarmy sort of role he can deliver in his sleep   an athletic record  sponsorship by a fraternity  and  most of all  a wealthy family to back him up  in fact  darryl has to work at four jobs simply to make ends meet  but there may be a light at the end of that tunnel  he signs up as a human guinea pig in a neurological experiment run by the universitys dr  wheedon  brad dourif   as a result  his senses are magnified tenfold  using his newfound abilities  he sets himself in complete pursuit of the job  unaware that there may be some disadvantageous sideeffects to having super senses   naturally  marlon wayans plays this comedy at full throttle  giving jim carreyish amounts of physical humor  the problem is  aside from a few genuinely inspired bits  theres not much thats funny here  the film has its one central gag  and pads out the rest of its length with rather obvious lowbrow humor  there obviously wasnt much thought put into the plot  the entire job selection process is completely ridiculous  i mean  why the emphasis on extracurricular activities if the entire job is going to come down to a singleelimination quiz anyhow  and is this the only job being offered to economics majors this semester  to give it credit  senseless does try to create a secondary joke with darryls roommate  tim laflour  matthew lillard   apparently  he is supposed to be faddish  but the film never does anything with him  leaving him in a piercing phase throughout the movie  his  intervention  scenes with darryl  however  do provide a rare  and welcome  laugh  and then theres the love interest which is always pathetically tacked onto comedies like this one  in this case  the object of darryls amor is janice  tamara taylor   a fellow student who wont have anything to do with darryl until he gains his supersenses  needless to say  the romance is completely extraneous  and adds little to the film  this is a film that desperately needed something else  be that a good plot  more jokes  or simply funnier ones   or a strong character or two  anything would have helped senseless get off the ground  as it is  all the manic exuberant mugging in the world cant help marlon wayans get this one off the ground  
neg	i came to an epiphany while watching the bachelor  an innocuousenoughonthesurface romantic comedy  its not the sort of film in which one would expect to achieve any moment of clarity  but there it was nonetheless  i sat there watching this marshmallow of a movie unfold when suddenly i realized what is so ridiculously wrong with the entire romantic comedy genre circa 1999  in a word  its the same thing thats wrong with so many movies circa 1999  writing  more to the point  its the refusal to acknowledge that characterizations matter when youre telling a story about a relationship  the bachelor is merely the latest in a long line of films where were expected to get dewyeyed over any pairing of attractive  pleasant people just because theyre attractive and pleasant  in this particular case  attractive and pleasant exhibit a is jimmy shannon  chris odonnell   a single guy who has been watching his friends slowly but surely sucked into marriage  its a scary notion for jimmy  even though he dearly loves attractive and pleasant exhibit b anne  renee zellweger   his girlfriend of three years  convinced despite his reservations that its time to  sh  t or get off the pot   jimmy proposes to anne  very badly  anne refuses  which leaves jimmy in a very odd position when his eccentric grandfather  peter ustinov  dies and leaves a very specific video will  jimmy stands to inhereit 100 million if he is married by 6  05 p  m  on his 30th birthday  stays married for 10 years and produces a child  there are only a couple of minor problems  1  jimmys 30th birthday is the next day  2  anne is nowhere to be found  meaning jimmy has to find another willing bride from among his many exgirlfriends  its a wacky  brewsters millionsesque premise  acknowledged as such in one of the films better  more selfaware lines of dialogue   the kind where a shallow and materialistic guy learns what really matters  at least that would be the case if jimmy werent already a worldclass altruist  screenwriter steve cohen slides into the story an even more draconian condition in the will  if jimmy doesnt get married  not only will he lose all the money  but the family billiard table buisness will be sold out from under him  costing hudreds of jobs  from the outset  jimmys motivation isnt cash  its the livelihoods of his devoted employees  its almost embarrassing for his marital misgivings to play a role in the bachelors plot development  by any human standard  the guy is impossibly selfless  and thats the essence of the gutlessness endemic to films like the bachelor  the fear of giving the characters flaws to overcome on their way to happiness  theres never any tension between the two starcrossed lovers  because theres no sense that anything remotely significant is at stake  the blandly nice odonnell couldnt pull off a randy cad if he tried  so the filmmakers dont even let him  zellwegers anne may have issues with her sickeningly affectionate parents as an impossible standard to live up to  but no one dares make her anything but the woman  lightly  wronged  and forget about seeing enough of jimmy and anne together to feel invested in their potential reconciliation  the parade of sitcom set pieces had better be damned funny  since theyre all that stands between us and a blissfully sweet foregone conclusion  ill admit a couple of those set pieces are amusing  including ustinovs rantings about procreation and a restaurant fulltobursting with men popping questions and champagne corks  far more of them are either tedious or downright ghastly  like the shudderinducing sight of brooke shields as an icy fortunehunter or the hideous collection of stereotypes when hundreds of potential brides gather in a church  youre never going to get too many raucous belly laughs from a film like the bachelor  but thats not the real problem  nor is it the real problem that you know exactly the kind of warmnfuzzy conclusion its leading up to  the problem are a beginning and middle that are equally warmnfuzzy  theres no spark  no energy  no humanity  its an emotional pudding guaranteed not to offend any consumers digestions  weve reached a point where our proxies for cinematic romantic wish fulfillment dont even have a pulse  the bachelor is love among the mannequins  
neg	are you like me  do you get annoyed seeing people talk on their cellulars in public places  shouting out loud  not giving a ratts ass about anyone around them  and basically just wallowing in their own selfimportance  well if you are  than you will most likely agree with my rating of this film since it basically features a trio of annoying ladies bickering away on the phone for an hour and a half    only to make up and hug in the end  aaaaaaaahhhh    plot  three grownup sisters living their own separate lives  begin to reestablish their communication lines when their dear old dad falls ill  critique  this would be a good movie if it wasnt for the fact that its got very little to say  features uncaring people sharing annoying phone conversations  is chockfull of bad acting moments and provides less emotional satisfaction than any thirdrate afterschool special  and im being nice  how junk like this gets made is beyond me  but happy am i that the ephron sisters will finally be dealt a professional blow  considering the regurgitation level of their material had just about reached its limit  the only true emotional moment demonstrated between meg ryans character and her dad in this film is when he hugs her and swings her around at a christmas tree lot  wow    how deep  of course  the same christmas tune thats played in every ephron flick chimes out in the background  while characters continue to build  bonds  among one another by making reference to old  quaint movies or movie stars  stop me    im gonna cry again  this film is a mess  the characters are boring and irritating to watch  the plot has something to do with three selfish sisters talking on the phone a whole lot  kind of liking their father  but not really  and then finally realizing the error of their ways  while sharing an  emotional  moment about movie stars from the 50s  admittedly  i was not expecting much from a film whose television trailer features meg ryan screaming every two seconds and a big dog rolling its eyes  but even i was surprised at the level of ineptitude when it came to some of the acting efforts put forth in this film  meg did fine as the sister who cries a lot  looking as adorable as ever  but someone please put lisa kudrow inside a permanent home of limited range  cause this woman basically is that very same character that she plays in every single movietv show that shes in  enough already  and diane keaton mustve spent more time thinking about her role behind the camera in this one  cause her acting was amateurish at best  neither one convinced in  emotional  scenes  granted  they gave walter matthau the best lines in the film and thats probably where my rating of three points comes from  all in all  this movie is not funny  unless youre one to chuckle at train wrecks   provides zero drama  unless you consider loud phone conversations moving   generates absolutely no emotion  although i did tear up when meg hugged a coffee machine  and ends on a perfectly pretentious note   oh no  please dont get any flour on my donna karan dress    ugh  i suggest that all ladies take their husbandsboyfriends to see this movie if they are pissed off at them about something  thatll teach em to mess with you  oh and incidentally  mrs  joblo also likened this movie to a piece of cow dung flailing in the wind  so there  then again    maybe youll like it    
neg	i have a confession  even though i am a movie junkiei saw eye of the beholder and yet i still watch moviesive never seen any of the original godzillas   note that godzilla 2000 is not a sequel to the u  s  godzilla released in 1998  its the american release of a 1999 godzilla flick called gojira nisen mireniamu   so  part of me was excited as i drove to the local multiplex to see godzilla 2000the latest entry in an almost 50year old franchise  this was a longawaited treat  i was expecting a goofy good time  complete with bad dubbing  science fair level sets and a ludicrous plot line  the last thing i expected was for the movie to be so  boring  i can only imagine what the theatre full of kids i saw this with felt  you do get all of the  so bad theyre good  traits so normally associated with the franchise  but you have to sit through a snoozer plot that has the organization of a rorschach blot  its a deal i wasnt willing to accept  hiroshi kashiwabara and waturu mimuras script crams in way too many details  and in many cases  fails to follow up on them  the maneuver is not only disconcerting  but gives the movie a permanent logy  weighty feel  godzilla starts off destroying power plants and then just stops  was it a whim  a bold political statement  i dont know  its foe  an ancient meteor that looks like prudentials logo  doesnt just fight the beast from the far east  no  its got to have lifesaving powers  a plot to erase  the data  from japan  a desire to clone and the ability to become a spaceship and then some kind of tentacled space creature  theres a battle between the head of the godzilla prediction unit  takehiro murata  and a slimy government official  hiroshi abe  over the handling of godzilla  and personal issues  and then theres the plucky news photographer and blah  blah  blah  its like watching magnolia all over againexcept without the good writing  keen sociological insight and aimee mann songs  what a waste  when the talking and the plot points stop hurtling at you  godzilla 2000 does the jobits entertaining and goes down easy  the action scenes are cheesy in their grandeur though a little sluggish  the dubbing is nice and awful  with murata sounding like hes in constant need of a cough drop  as for the dialogue  one line summarizes the goofiness factor   did anyone see that flying rock go by   this movie also marked the first time since the three stooges that ive heard the word  imbecile  used in casual conversation  though the summer movie season is drying up and godzilla 2000 has its moments  i wouldnt take kids to see it  theyll probably end up asking more questions than charlie rose  
neg	capsule  five friends at a stag party are involved in the accidental killing of a prostitute  the coverup attempt becomes a monster that eats up the friends  two wives and several innocent bystanders  this was a real audience pleaser at toronto  but it did not do much for me   low 0  4 to 4   directed by peter berg who acted in the last seduction and copland   five buddies go on a stag outing to las vegas while cameron diaz works through the logistics of her upcoming wedding to one of them  one of the buddies accidentally kills a prostitute   several people with no moral compass  they started out with a simple  innocent little cocaine party    and by accident look what happened  they have one moral person among them  daniel stern   and one totally amoral person  christian slater   it is more selfish to let the amoral lead  so they do   this film is strange  but not really funny or biting  black comedy should actually be funny as well as strange  there should be some element of satire  the satire is missing here  i did not find myself laughing here either  what we have is a strange crime tale   one just does not care what happens to these people   the same idea of people just getting themselves in deeper and deeper has been done frequently  if this film is popular it is just bringing a familiar plot to a new generation   it begins like diner  particularly with daniel stern  and ends up like an extended horrorcrime comic book   there are several logical holes in script  if a security man goes to investigate a complaint and disappears  wouldnt the guests he was investigating be the first suspects  someone framed for a crime in the way shown would be judged innocent after minimal forensic detective work   i am desperately trying to avoid making this a spoiler    popular and situation ethics get a real slamming   some acting of grief is hammy and overdone  more yelling than humor  
neg	what hath kevin williamson wrought  while the horror movie revival spurred on by his scream has yielded a few decent entries in the genreiknowwhatyoudidlastsummer  halloween  h20  and scream2 it must be noted that williamson himself had a hand in the writing of those films  those williamsonless postscream efforts  among them wishmaster and the recent disturbingbehavior  have been frightening all rightfrighteningly  insultingly bad  add to that list urbanlegend  which takes a promising premise and runs it through a predictable meat grinder of idiocy  the influence of williamson on screenwriter silvio horta is clear in two key areas  first  the opening sequence  like that of scream  is an extended set piece detailing the singular murder that gets the proverbial ball rolling  this sequence  in which pendleton college coed michelle mancini  natasha gregson wagner  is decapitated while driving  also reveals the other obviously williamsonesque touch  the killers look  dressed in a large hooded parka  wielding an axe  the killer bears more than a passing resemblance to the iknow    fisherman  sans the hook  one thing horta does not borrow from williamson  however  is the intriguing premise  students at pendleton are being killed by way of urban legendsthose contemporary bits of  mythology  passed from person to person  group to group  year to year that become so embedded in the social consciousness  it hardly matters if they are true or not  such as the tall tale that mikey from the life cereal commercials died from a fatal combination of pop rocks and pepsi  he didnt   michelle  slain by the  killer lurking in the backseat  of lore  is but the first to fall prey to an urban legend come true  as the body count rises  fellow pendleton student natalie  alicia witt  suspects not only a link between the murders  but a personal link to her past as well  the setup shows promise  but the story never takes off  due in large part to horta and the director  the aptly named jamie blanks  who fires round afer round of his namesake in terms of suspense and scares  too many of the wouldbe shocks are fakeouts reliant on bombastic music cues  and the films chase scenes are riddled with the cliches that scream tried to subvert  like screaming damsels knowingly running themselves into dead ends when they shouldand couldrun out the front door  but that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to cliches  theres also the climactic villain confession  in which a contrived and waytooconvenient motive is revealed  not to mention the credit card opening up the locked door trick  which is a cliche in any film genre  banks and hortas  intentional  attempts at humor are also lame  the fact that the best gags are lazy  injokey references to the other credits of costars joshua jackson and rebecca gayheart says a lot about the imagination of their humor  some laughs are also had when the rather predictable identity of the killer is revealed  but im not so sure if some of the more hilarious things about it were meant to be so  the filmmakers dont get much help from their onscreen talent  i was far from a fan of bland iknow     starlet jennifer love hewitt  but id talke her any day ove the dreadfully stiff and uncharismatic witt  whose inept attempts at emoting were often met with laughter  witt has a pefect foil in her equally pesencechallenged leading man  jared leto  dawsonscreek star jackson mugs his way thorugh a glorified cameo  gayheart displays all the depth and range of  well  a noxzema spokeswoman  and robert englund lends the film little more than his freddy krueger pedigree as a folklore professor  granted  the cast is hampered by their material  loretta devine  who has done some fine work in films such as waitingtoexhale  is saddled with the ridiculous role of a pam grierworshiping campus security guard  the recently resuscitated horror genre cannot rely on the efforts one mannamely  kevin williamsonto stay alive  if other filmmakers continue to make such shoddy product as urbanlegend  the genre looks to once again go the way of screen slashers many victims  
neg	warner brothers has scored another marketing coup  the onetwo punch was started in the summer  with the release of batman forever  trailers for ace ventura 2 were bundled with the bat  ensuring that every jim carrey fan in the free world would know about the impending sequel  carrey went on to win raves as the riddler and the everwise warner chose halloween as the release date for the video  11  99 at walmart   a mere two weeks before carreys return in this marketwise  but misfired comedy  ace ventura  when nature calls is a painful reminder of just how grating the rubberfaced comic can be when allowed to perform within an uncontrolled environment  he may have been brilliant under the direction of joel schumacher  in batman forever  but  here  left to his own devices  carrey quickly wears out his welcome  the opening sequence is by far the bestan amusing spoof of cliffhanger  with ace performing a mountain rescue of a stranded raccoon   you can guess what happens to mr  paws  hint  it sounds like splat   the plot quickly shifts to a temple in the himalayas  and then to notsodarkest africa  where ace is on the case of a missing white bat  with his hair and limbs both wildly askew  carrey flies through his routine in about thirty minutes  the rest of the film is just more of the same  sure  the plots linear  and the production values solid  but where is the scripted humor to support carreys sloppy slathering  writer and director steve oderkerk provides precious few setups  instead  carrey just mugs away  playing for the camera even when most of it isnt funny  the better gags have been shown in the ads  though a bit with ace emerging bucknaked from the backside of a mechanical rhino is something to see  though an arguable improvement over the original  ace ventura  when nature calls is still a snooze for anyone over the age of ten  the script is virtually devoid of wit  tribal mask jokes  jerry lewis cameos  forget it  if anything  the inexplicable presence of simon callow  four weddings and a funeral  and bob gunton  the shawshank redemption  suggests that working with carrey is the classical actors ultimate challenge  just how long  can  they keep a straight face  
neg	synopsis  wealthy cuban landowner luis  banderas  gets more than he bargained for when he sends away for an american bride  not only does his new wife turn out to be the beautiful julia  jolie   she also harbours a secret past of dubious merit  soon  julia has absconded with both luis fortune and his heart  and as he pursues his wife through the cuban underworld  luis begins to realise that  for him  there is no turning back  review  given the absurdism of its wouldbe plot  its unlikely that  original sin  could have been turned into a reputable piece of filmmaking  regardless of writer  director or stars  this is  at its heart  bmovie junk  a lurid melodrama which appeals to neither the brain nor the heart but to the nether regions  that said   original sin  could at least have become enjoyable junk had the filmmakers embraced its trashiness and indulged in it  instead  cristofer seems to have mistaken this for a serious production  and directs it as such  the result is a vapid  uninteresting morass of obvious crosses and double crosses  as likely to incite a yawn as a thrill  consider the initial sex scene between banderas and jolie  brightlylit and mostly filmed from above  it looks like an excerpt from an amateur soft porn show  cristofer doesnt even manage to capture the allure of cuba  instead of portraying his setting as a steamy  sensuous island paradise  it appears bland and lifeless  at least banderas and jolie manage to inspire some interest  there are hints at times that they want to have more fun with the script  but arent being given the chance  the same cannot be said of jane  whose billy is nebbish and transparent  also unwise is the jolie framing sequence  which practically gives away the films denouement  
neg	when a pair of films from the same director gets released just three weeks apart  it could mean one of two things  that the recently overworked individual is due for a welldeserved rest  or that either of these movies has been sitting in a studio safe for a while and the timing is merely a coincidence  the latters the case with john mctiernan and  the thirteenth warrior   which finally hits theatres a year and counting after its original spring 98 opening  and fast on the heels of mctiernans  the thomas crown affair  remake  a flick that got good reviews  you dont have to believe superstitions to wager a guess that  thirteenth  wont be so lucky  reportedly shelved following skirmishes between mctiernan and producer michael crichton  whose  eaters of the dead  novel provides  warrior  s source  and its initial title   this messy melange of cultureclash drama and brutal warfare feels empty and sluggish  sorta like  braveheart  without any of the passion  but the bloodshed certainly remains  theres enough carnage on display here to satisfy those in search of purely visceral thrills  though please note that the admittedly pungent battle sequences containing all this death and dismemberment alternate with talky passages interminable in their dullness  these circa10th century clashes involve a roving band of cannibalistic creatures capable of decapitating opponents with their bare hands and a dozen norse soldiers out to stop them from terrorizing the viking countryside  the good guys are loud  crude  often unintelligible and  judging from their highly icky hygiene habits  pretty smelly to boot  which makes them perfect foils for the dignified arab ambassador  antonio banderas  who tags along quite reluctantly  theyre also so hard to tell apart that it hardly matters when a few of them meet violent demises  youll wince  youll groan  youll grouse   havent we seen this guy killed twice before   banderas stands confused amidst the chaos  partaking mostly from a distance as savages in darth maul facepaint and draped in the latest animalskin fashion run amok  hes not the hero  his soulful eyes and lean build dont exactly herald a champion of shwarzenegger proportions  and  the thirteenth warrior  wisely doesnt pretend he is  allowing his foreign and physically imposing costars to step into the spotlight when the going gets rough  let the characters interaction sans swords and shields  however  and theres still a struggle  for the audience to follow or even care about the story  it isnt the end until audiences have witnessed a halfbaked romance  murky political intrigue  veteran actor omar sharif   funny girl   dropping by in a cameo role and a climactic  indiana jones and the temple of doom  esque chase through the villains underground lair  all this clutter receives stunning visual treatment courtesy of cinematographer peter menzies jr   but the collaboration between  die hard  helmer mctiernan and  jurrasic park  creator crichton should have yielded more than sumptuous sights  graphic action and unintentionally telling moments  heard during  the thirteenth warrior  s final scene  a dog whimpering  how appropriate  
neg	 the red violin  is a cold  sterile feature that leaves you uninvolved and detached  its a movie that seems almost clinical  as it traces the 300plusyears history of the legendary musical instrument of the title  opening in the 17th century  the story shows how violinmaker nicolo bussotti created the instrument as a gift for his unborn son  but when tragedy strikes  the violin becomes the personification of its makers grief  from there the violin comes into the hands of an orphaned child prodigy at an austrian monastery  again  tragedy strikes as the child is struck down at the moment of his triumph  we follow the violin through the centuries as it finds a home in england and in maos communist china before being discovered by expert charles morritz  samuel l  jackson   who mounts a painstaking investigation to prove its authenticity  the violin becomes morritzs obsession  just as it is for all those who converge on a montreal auction house to bid on it  morritz  however  is the only one who knows the secret of the instrument and can understand and appreciate its creators intention   the red violin  could have been a touching  inspirational story  as soaring as a beethoven symphony  however director francois girard fails to make any emotional connection with the viewer  here is a story that could have made use of various camera angles and lighting to heighten its impact  girard  for some unknown reason  uses mostly master shots  keeping his camera  and thus us  at a distance  we get no feel for the miracle that is the violin  its resonance  its purity of sound are not emphasized enough to make an impression  nor are any of the performances memorable  its as if girard wanted all his actors to play second fiddle to his violin   the red violin  promises much  but delivers little  it is dull at times  a bit pretentious and a might murky  the movies music soars over its story and performers  and that is its only saving grace  
neg	there have been merchantivory costume dramas with more of a pulse than  the mod squad   a selfconsciously  hip  cinematic rendering of the old tv series still looked upon fondly by so many babyboomers  well  said  squad  certainly wont be a pleasant viewing experience for them or anybody else  maybe even the teen target audience the movie has been geared towards  a contemporary take on this decidedly 70s show doesnt exactly seem unwarranted  but one wonders if the mold it accumulated while waiting on the shelf didnt transform into a fullblown case of botulism  how curious that the film begins by defining both mod and squad  insisting that the latter is a group of people working together and then contradicting this definition by keeping its titular trio apart for a sizeable chunk of the running time  they are julie  pete and linc  reformed delinquents working undercover for the lapd  exposition put out of the way so fast that youre likely to be lost from the opening moments on   and they are respectively played by claire danes  giovanni ribisi and omar epps  talented actors each deserving of better than this  their plight involves standard copcorruption stuff  as our wouldbe protagonists catch wind of an internal coverup after their superior  reliable dennis farina  one of the best things here and gone so quickly  gets killed and framed for drug trafficking  they pout a lot and eventually get cracking to expose this convoluted conspiracy using surveillance tactics that would impress the hardy boys and linda tripp but few others  when youre supposed to be asking   whats going to happen next    youll instead entertain thoughts like  who are these people and why should i care   or  arent thrillers supposed to contain thrills   not that danes  epps and ribisi dont give it a shot  danes can do the troubled teen thing in her sleep  as evidenced by  my socalled life   but shes saddled with a mysteriousboyfriend  josh brolin  subplot so seethrough you begin to seriously question her socalled intelligence  ditto for ribisis   saving private ryan   looney loose cannon  though at least he performs with a wildandcrazy vigor that occasionally demands attention  but epps  poor epps  epps   higher learning   is so shortchanged hes reduced to literally waiting around for a bad guy to chase him  all this sloppiness can be attributed to the screenwriters  one of whom  scott silver  is also the director  they must think that if they dress up their stupid story in such spiffy trappings  the look of the film is really quite impressive   itll somehow pay off  but this  mod squad  plods anyway  characters are nonexistent  present are just some goodlooking young things modeling cool levis and cooler attitudes  plot hardly escapes confusing convention  and the one genre element youd think would be show up in generous portions  a few nifty explosions  some fights  any kind of action whatsoever  only rarely makes it to this dull gabfest  all those quick to put down last months inept but serviceable  my favorite martian  update need to take a step back  heres a smalltobigscreen translation that really shouldve stayed in its former incarnation   mod  or not  
neg	ready to rumble is not a masterpiece in film  i have a problem even regarding it as a film  its more of a show  a big commercial for ted turners world championship wrestling  wcw   the movie is almost entirely about and fully showcases the wrestlers of the wcw like diamond dallas page  goldberg  and sting  the story is very minimal and basic  there are these two guys  gordy  david arquette  and sean  scott caan   they are two twentysomething wrestling fans from wyoming  when they go to a live event for the big match up  there favorite wrestler jimmy king  oliver platt  is defeated and his career is announced to be over by the mean commissioner titus  joe pantoliano   gordy and sean decide to go on a quest to find jimmy and bring him back to the top and defeat the evil titus plans  on the way  they meet some people  have some fun  and clean up some portopotties  sounds great huh  well its not  the movie makes many attempts at humor  only a few of them work  the jokes that make you laugh  however  do not outnumber the films many duds  there is a funny repertoire between arquette and a convenience store cashier played by ahmet zappa  the cashier is very mean to arquette so arquette dreams of ways to get him back  i especially enjoyed one version in which they have a wrestling match and arquettes tag team partner is macho man randy savage  they wrestle between the aisles knocking over cans and getting body slammed on the floor  the other good part of the film is the sexual confrontation between arquette and rose mcgowan  mcgowan plays sasha the head nitro girl  the cheerleaders of the wcw  she becomes attracted to gordy and they have some nice  funny scenes together especially one scene in which arquette calls mcgowans breasts foreign objects than punches her directly into the face  now what didnt work in this movie  that would be the rest of it  the flick was filled with stupid potty humor about farts and toilets  the two lead characters work for a portopotty cleaning company and when they crash the truck  the excrements spill all over the road  its not funny  its pathetic and brainless  the film is giving homage to how blindly faithful of their wrestlers but not all wrestling fans are that way  i watch it for entertainment and i would think some people would take offense to what is said throughout the movie  the main characters in the film actually get to wrestle  like that would happen to any fan  especially to 2 that stalk a wrestler and sneak him back onto set  also  i wondered how they got into the backstage so easily  they just walked right in  i like wrestling  i watch it at home and laugh  its continuously funny and has great characters otherwise i wouldnt watch it  this movie wasnt even funny or fun to watch like the wrestling on tv  the only fun i had in the movie was pointing out the wrestlers i knew  the funny thing was that many of the wcw featured wrestlers like saturn and chris benoit have left wcw for more money but are still featured in the film prominently  the movie was too dimwitted to be funny  it is possibly the most useless and underdeveloped film ever  a recent film in this genre of fans would be the kiss fan film  detroit rock city  that movie was interesting  well done and continuously funny unlike this film  the acting was good plus the jokes had humor and made you laugh  now that the scream trilogy is over  arquette has nothing else to do so he has to do crap like this and be a spokesman in those dumb 1800callatt ads  at least he has a hot wife in courtney cox  hes in the funny parts of the film but there arent enough to make him look good  the music was bad also feature such overplayed tunes as kid rocks  bawitdaba  and  cowboy   martin landau has a great cameo as a classic  hardnosed wrestling trainer named sal that whips the king back into shape to regain his throne  script is important to a film but this piece of crap could have been made with a couple of scribblings on a napkin  a fan of the wrestlers who are featured in the film probably wrote it  at times the movie even tries to show wrestling as real  the wrestlers form alliances  go to peoples houses and beat them up  its utterly ridiculous  the whole film was a wasteful  dumfounding experience  the movie was made to pay homage to the fans  telling them things that made wrestling  not the wrestlers  the wrestlers are making more money to make a movie to thank the fans for begin fans by paying 5 dollars to see a pottyhumor movie  the wcw sucks and this movie is just a pathetic twohour commercial to watch it  if youre going to watch wrestling watch wwf  its actually entertaining  the wrestling is betters  theyre funnier  more diverse  and have better entrance themes  oh and the girls are hotter  is this what movies have become  2 hourlong commercials that you have to pay to see  dont waste your money  
neg	wyatt earp details thirtyfive years in the life of same from around 1865 to 1900  after seeing the movie speed twice recently  i kept thinking that i was seeing wyatts life pass before my eyes in real time  this movie was boring  slow  boring  and slow  there were a few scenes that tried to be great scenes that tried too hard and just fell flat  the script happily womanbashes but also tries to sound like an 80s movie  they cannot have it both ways   i now pronounce you husband and wife   sure  they said that in the 1800s   entrepreneur   sure  every bit of maleegostroking dialogue that wyatts third wife speaks to him made me sick to listen to it   oh  the script was written by two men    no kidding   the movie is torture to sit through  the scenery is boring  the fades were either awkward or cliche or to self important  can you say poor editing  everyone looks ugly in this movie  when you shoot people from under their chins  they look like they have double chins  kevin costner has never looked worse  he should sue  he looks like he gained the 43 pounds that dennis quaid lost  dennis quaid is marvelous  if you have to see this movie just for his performance  go into the theatre at the movies halfway mark  doc holliday  quaids character  shows up at about the 90minute mark  gene hackman is very good  is he in the credits  i dont remember seeing his name  mare winningham makes the best of a small role as wyatts second wife  annabeth gish is good as wyatts first wife  i though that jamie gertz played wyatts third wife  but i later heard that her name is joanna going  she looks great but her dialogue sucks  she also seems way to young for costner  costner seems way to old for 90 of this movie  in his first scene he is supposed to be about 19 years old  yeah  right  catherine ohara and jobeth williams are always good and totally wasted here  this is the worst movie that i have seen in years  the last action hero was better that this  go see maverick if you want to see a western  bullets for dennis quaids performance only  
neg	david schwimmer  from the television series  friends   stars as a sensitive  and slightly neurotic  single guy who gets more than he expected from the grieving mother  barbara hershey  of a classmate he cant remember  hello mrs  robinson  though quite cute as a romantic comedy  the pallbearer is paced like a funeral march  the characters act  react  and interact at halfspeed  making for one  excruciatingly  long sit   and whats with the dreary lighting   cowriterdirector matt reeves brings some snap to the storys midsection  the film briefly comes to life when our hero attempts to resolve his feelings for  another  classmate  a very appealing gwyneth paltrow   by this time  though  most viewers will have either fled or fallen asleep  those tough souls who stay with it can marvel at the sleepyeyed schwimmer  a hound dog with a head cold  who can go for over an hour without ever changing his expression  
neg	 saving silverman  is a good example of a good comedy gone bad  as a love story it is good  however as a comedy it falls flat on its face  i think throughout the short 90 minutes i laughed a total of seven times    and those were just chuckles at the most  the movie doesnt have the oomph to make it a great movie  and doesnt have the script to make it a funny movie  wayne lefessier  steven zahn   j  d  mcnugent  jack black   and darren silverman  jason biggs  have grown up all their lives together  they have been best friends forever and vow to stay close till the end  while in a bar after doing a show with their band  based on their love of neil diamond  darren meets a young woman named judith  amanda peet  whom he instantly falls for  wayne and j  d  however think differently and when judith tells darren that he can never see his friends again  its up to wayne and j  d  to try and begin saving silverman  the performances are topnotch and surprisingly  they are what keep the movie afloat  jason biggs right off the flop  loser  does an ok job playing silverman  but he is stale and flat at times  steve zahn is perfect in the role of wayne lefessier  and even though the movie is about silverman  lefessier is really the main character and the narrator of the movie itself  jack black is well jack black  and he does an all right job as j  d  but he isnt as funny as he has been in the past  amanda peet plays the ultimate bitch as judith  and neil diamond plays neil diamond  hes better at singing than acting   anyway the performances in the film are good  but its too bad the script isnt  speaking of script  hank nelkans choppy script is not only badly written  but not funny enough even for an episode of sesame street  the trailer for the movie  as with most movies gives away everything that happens in the movie  especially the funniest parts  somewhere  saving silverman  was meant to be a good movie  and it could have been  but alas in the end it wasnt  dennis dugans direction is all right  he adds a few directorial touches here and there  nothing special being a simple comedy   saving silverman  is a perfectly bad movie in more ways than one  it has a great cast  a good director and a sweet story    its just too bad it has a bad script and is all together a bad movie  
neg	one of my brothers favorite movies is h  b  halickis 1974 cult flick  gone is sixty seconds   one of the best products of the carchase genre that provided drivein fare during the 1970s  chase pics had more tire squeals than dialogue  but they had a strong visceral appeal  although it boasts a bigger budget and familiar stars  the remake of  gone in sixty seconds  is relatively weak and dull  randall  memphis  raines  nicolas cage  is a retired car thief who runs a gocart track  he got out of crime so that his younger brother kip  giovanni ribisi  would not take up boosting cars  however  kip became a thief anyway  and now hes in big trouble  kip promised to deliver fifty luxury and sports cars to gangster raymond calitri  christopher eccleston  by the end of the week  calitri expects memphis to fulfill kips bargain  if he doesnt come through  kip dies  memphis gathers his old crew  angelina jolie  robert duvall  will patton  chi mcbride  and vinnie jones   and kip brings his boys  t  j  cross  william lee scott  scott caan  and james duval   as if calitri breathing down their necks wasnt bad enough  the team is pursued by a cop  delroy lindo  whos still ticked off that he never busted memphis and by a rival gangster  rap star master p  who wants to take over calitris clients  watching  gone   i discovered that stealing fifty cars is not any more interesting than stealing one  maybe thats why the first fortynine are fairly easy  and the thrills are saved for  eleanor   a 1967 shelby gto  a model that has always eluded memphis  but the big chase doesnt live up to the long wait  i had high hopes for  gone  because it is director dominic senas second film   kalifornia   his 1993 debut  was a brilliant study in the relationship between violence and its audience  in that movie sena took a simple thriller plot  a couple gives a serial killer a ride  and successfully endowed it with deeper significance  in  gone  he seems to be aiming for a drama about two brothers who cant communicate with each other  but that goal just doesnt mesh with this plot   gone  either takes itself too seriously or not seriously enough  its not light enough to be fun  or mean enough to be intense  this chaser has more dialogue than tire squeals but is none the better for it  the lack of action is a waste of the premise  which should have challenged the filmmakers to create the most spectacular car chases ever  the weak script is a waste of a talented cast  in a  newsweek  interview last year  sean penn blasted his old pal nic cage for making bad movies  much as i like cage  for every good picture he does   leaving las vegas    bringing out the dead    there are two major stinkers   snake eyes    con air    8mm    city of angels    that ratio is probably better than what a lot of his peers can boast  but cage has real talent  its a shame to waste it in glitzy  superficial tripe like  gone in 60 seconds   
neg	steve martin is one of the funniest men alive  if you can take that as a true statement  then your disappointment at this film will equal mine  martin can be hilarious  creating some of the best laughoutloud experiences that have ever taken place in movie theaters  you wont find any of them here  the old television series that this is based on has its moments of humor and wit  bilko  and the name isnt an accident  is the head of an army motor pool group  but his passion is his schemes  every episode involves the sergeant and his men in one or another hairbrained plan to get rich quick while outwitting the officers of the base   mchales navy  s granddaddy  thats the idea behind this movie too  but the difference is that  as farfetched and usually goofy as the television series was  it was funny  there is not one laugh in the film  the remake retains the goofiness  but not the entertainment  everything is just too clean  it was obviously made on a hollywood back lot and looks every bit like it  it all looks brand new  even the old beatup stuff  martin is remarkably small in what should have been a bigger than life role  in the original  phil silvers played the huckster with a heart of gold and more than a touch of sleaziness  martins bilko is a pale imitation  the only semibright spot is phil hartman as bilkos archenemy  its not saying much  considering martins lackluster character  but hartman leaves him in the dust  
neg	have you ever been in an automobile accident where youve miraculously walked away with only a few scratches  yet the car has been obliterated into an unrecognizable  mangled wreck  well  that has never actually happened to me and i hope that none of us will ever experience this situation  but after watching this inane exercise of a movie  i certainly feel that ive miraculously walked away unscathed after a twohour ride that mercilessly careens back and forth before finally plummeting into an icy pond  oddly  eye of the beholder   which is a psychologicalromancethriller  starts off promisingly enough when the opening sequence introduces us to a british intelligence agent  called the eye  ewan mcgregor   working in washington dc  in the humorous opening scene  he eyes a top lawyer across the street in his office with his pants down  using an array of hightech surveillance and communications equipment  he proceeds to transmit pictures of the bared lawyer to pc screens and fax machines in his office  the law firms employees get a good chuckle  the audience gets a good chuckle  the eye is later given an assignment where he encounters a beautiful woman  ashley judd   there is something compelling about this mysterious woman  despite her glamorous looks  however  we learn that she is a psychopath with a propensity to kill men that get too close to her  after the murders  she sobs while singing the christmas tune little bluebirds and laments about being abandoned by her father long ago  after each killing  she puts on a different wig  assumes a new name  and then makes her way to another state  the eye has witnessed all her murderous transgressions  but he does not alert the authorities  he somehow empathizes with her sense of loss  the eye  it turns out  also is haunted by his past  his daughter was taken away from him and he anguishes this loss every day of his life  his tormented psyche creates a ghostlike image of his daughter with which he engages in conversation  she becomes a sort of spectral adviser  and one thing that the ghostly daughter says is that he must help the woman  he now diverts his energies into trying to help her find some kind of salvation  it doesnt matter that he has witnessed all of her murders  and it doesnt matter that the eye is abnormally reticent  hiding his entire life behind computer screens  he follows her to a dozen different locales and shadows her every move to keep her out of trouble  when a crazed druggie  jason priestley  attacks her  he shows up for some quick butt kicking  when the police are closing in to arrest her  he provides a distraction so that she can escape  all the while  the woman has no idea who her guardian angel is and the eye stays just out of sight  peculiar  how bad is this movie  i refer you to my review quote source litmus test  just take a look at the fullpage ad in the newspaper and see where they are pulling quotes  for this movie  they are from magazines called flaunt and mirabella   no doubt  they were impressed with judds series of catwalks and disguise changes  the major problem with eye of the beholder is that the film jerks forward  always unsure of its ultimate destination  if it was a thriller  there was little to keep us entranced  if it was a love story  there was absolutely no emotional pull  completely disjointed in structure  its only saving grace was its stylish look which reminded me of my favorite car commercial  the one where the 6 on the tachometer dissolves into a winding road and a passenger rail car dissolves into a small miniature on a childs train set   i am also still hopeful that ashley judd will find a serious role to showcase her potential talents  beyond that  the film is hopelessly outofcontrol and is in need of seriously better traction and handling  
neg	bad  bad  bad  that one word seems to pretty much sums up beyond the valley of the dolls  if that summary isnt enough for you  how about ta  ta  ta  still havent got the point  other than director russ meyers predilection for casting attractive large breasted women who ultimately expose the aforementioned anatomical areas  there is really only one other reason to recommend even taking a look at this movie  that is the fact that it was cowritten by famed film critic roger ebert  who also was responsible for the screenplay  after watching this movie you will never be able to sit through another one of his reviews where he gives a movie a thumbs down for bad writing with a straight face  this movie stinks out loud  quite frankly  this movie deserves a  but there are parts of it that are so bad they are almost funny  so im giving it a  and maybe that is too generous  right from the opening credits  i knew that i had a classa bomb on my hands  not only are the way the credits actually shot distracting  but the first scene you see includes a big breasted young woman being chased by a guy in a nazi uniform  i had absolutely no idea why the hell that was happening  it does get explained later  and as soon as the first scene is over  we cut to a completely unrelated scene  to be honest  as i sat through this movie mesmerized by just how incredibly awful it was  i actually forgot about the seemingly out of place opening until it popped up again later in the film  with the quality of the writing during the rest of the film  it wouldnt have surprised me if the opening had never been explained  so what is this movie about  you ask  like it really matters  ok  here goes  this allgirl band headed by kelly macnamara  dolly reed  and her friends go to hollywood to try to gain a foothold in the music industry  once there  they do manage to find success  due as much to their hooters as anything else  it sure wasnt for their brutally bad singing voices   and the movie chronicles how their lives change for the worse as the pressures of fame get to them  everything from big egos  to booze and drugs to free flowing sex sends them on a downward spiral  there are a couple of other idiotic subplots thrown in for good measure  but the fame is the one that pretty much sums up this thing  from a creative standpoint there is nothing redeeming here  other than the abovementioned obsession with big knockers that russ meyer seemed to have  the dialogue is so incredibly bad that it literally is funny in parts  mr  ebert has generously thrown in helpings of  hey man    dig  and my all time favorite   this is my happening  and it freaks me out   now i ask you  with lines like that how can you go wrong  ebert had tried to inject as many big words as possible into the dialogue  maybe he thought it would make the movie seem smarter  i dont know  but all the big words in the world wouldnt be able to disguise the bad writing and even worse acting  but the wretched dialogue goes along well with the wretched quality of everything else in this movie  ive seen home movies directed better than meyer managed with this turkey  in fact  there is one scene  the one in which they are in a van driving to hollywood to make their fortunes  during which i really had to question if meyer or his editors had just suffered serious head injuries  add to the directing and writing the music in this movie  i almost got up to check my sound system to see if it was broken  there was such a pile of crap emanating from the speakers  then we have the cast  first lets start david gurian who played harris  the manager of the band  this has got to be the goofiest looking guy that has ever set foot in front of a motion picture camera  sadly  his acting doesnt come close to making up for his looks  if you have been following along up to this point  this shouldnt surprise you  meyers stable of well endowed girls also have the benefit of being fairly attractive to go along with their other assets  dolly reed plays kelly  the leader of the band  and no surprise here  she was cast for her cup size  not her talents  and yes  she does loose the shirt a few times and display her impressive talents  sadly  her ass is almost as large as her chest  hey  it a sexist movie  so im writing a sexist review  then we have former playboy playmate cynthia myers in a fairly small role as casey  one of the other band members  this goes along with the rest of the idiotic thinking in the movie  meyer casts a gorgeous playmate with a rack to kill for and who obviously has no acting talent at all  but her nude scenes are the biggest disappointment of all  sure russ  now is the time to get artsy and throw in some well placed shadows  on the up side  she does have a fun lesbo scene  i sound like im writing a review in a porn magazine  but hey  ill admit it  the only reason that i actually managed to sit through this damn movie was to catch a look at cynthia myers naked  and since that was a huge disappointment  i pretty much wasted two hours of my life on this turkey  the only thing that i can say about this movie is that you should stay away from it  unless of course you want to feel good about yourself by knowing that even a pulitzer prize winning film critic like roger ebert has screwed up at least once in his life too  and if you are thinking of checking it out for the double ds  you are better off just downloading nude cynthia myers pictures off the internet  this is a movie that should be avoided at all costs  an even better idea might be to require video stores to place a warning on the box of beyond the valley of the dolls  beware  this movie is extremely hazardous to your common sense  proceed with extreme caution  
neg	bythenumbers  a film which introduces characters  situations  dilemmas and developments that weve seen before in a parade of other films  a film which can easily be guessed out by the end of frame number one  a film which is packed to the cap with predictability  leading to very little tension  excitement  suspense or interest on the part of its paying audience  in short  a clich  ridden formula film  welcome to my review of the generals daughter  plot  an undercover army detective and a rape counselor find themselves locked inside an investigation into some bigwig general daughters rape  torture and murder  they must delve through all of the unspoken army rules and the hushhushes  to figure out the conspiracy behind the shocking murder  critique  by the numbers  see above   this film is just there  it sits there on the big screen for a couple of hours  floats around  goes away  hopefully never to be heard from again  it is so predictable that even a blind man could see its plot points coming a mile away  its as suspenseful as a leaf dropping from a tree  its as actionpacked as a canadian curling tournament  get the picture  i sure did    its too bad that it took my friend and i less than two minutes to figure out the entire plot  and to break down each scene before it was even completed  easy as pie  its unfortunate because james woods and john travolta actually have one extremely enjoyable scene together near the beginning of the film  but alas  twas not to be  that scene alone scored two of my four points allotted   woods chews it up in the few scenes that hes in  travolta passes the test  cromwell plays  well  cromwell  and stowe is window dressing with a smile  mia since 12 monkeys  810  it seems   and this predictability isnt reserved only to those who have seen films like courage under fire or a few good men  it runs deep inside every one of us who knows to suspect someone as soon as they see their obvious guilty mug on the big screen  its like riding a bike  other scenarios which sponge out any tension  suspense or interest from this film include every single character eventually  breaking down  to the investigators without much reason given  a ridiculously placed background relationship between two of the lead characters  as much action as my grandparents bedroom nightly  and a directorial style that can only reward director simon west with a solid nomination for the  best poor mans michael bay doing his best poor mans impression of tony scott   add two scenes with sunlight shining through some halfopen shades for grit and integrity  and an allout rainfall for the finale for further chaos  and youre a great director  yawn  yeah  whatever tony    i mean  simon   and arent we all sick of hearing about these army  bad boys  and their overdone  code of silence    enough already  next subject  please  see it on video if you wanna fall asleep after seeing a much better movie like an officer and a gentleman  8  510   otherwise  save yourself the trouble and go take a crap instead  youll feel much better afterwards  trust me  little known facts about this film and its stars  ironically  john travolta turned down the lead role in an officer and a gentleman  which eventually went to little dickie gere  ironically on james woods part  he completed one of his earliest acting roles on tvs  welcome back  kotter   starring none other than john travolta  actor james woods recently confirmed reports of his  big dick  on howard sterns radio program  unlike rocker tommy lee  woods is also alleged to have an iq of 180  he apparently scored a perfect 800 on his verbal sats and a 779 on the math section  what a man  john travolta is married to actress kelly preston  and they have a son named jett  travolta loves them planes    word on the street is that the kid was apparently conceived during a weekend at demi moore and bruce willis home  director simon wests first film was the jerry bruckheimer produced con air  6  510   before that  he directed tv commercials including the budweiser ad with the dancing ants  yippee  veteran director john frankenheimer  ronin  7  510   the manchurian candidate  portrays the character of general sonnenberg in this film  the imdb reports that when senator robert kennedy was shot at the ambassador hotel in los angeles on june 5  1968  it was his good friend john frankenheimer who had personally driven him there that day  clarence williams iii  who plays colonel fowler in this film  is known to some from his role as  linc  in the original  mod squad  tv series  younger folk may remember him as princes father in purple rain  
neg	who knew that in 16 years eddie murphy  who made such a brash  raucous bigscreen splash in 48hrs    would become    cuddly  the disconcerting trend begun in this summers cutesy  largely laughfree doctordolittle continues with this earnesttoafault dramedy  although he is topbilled  here murphy is merely support for jeff goldblum  who plays ricky hayman  the programming director at a home shopping network  sales are way down  and rickys job hangs by a thread until he meets g  murphy   a mysterious spiritual guru whom a desperate ricky puts on the air  while sales skyrocket and g becomes an overnight sensation  the reinvigorated rickys greed grows  endangering his budding romance with a goodhearted media research consultant  kelly preston   writer tom schulman has some promising ideas  satirizing home shopping and infomercials and the nature of instant celebrity  but these ideas would have more bite if stephen herek had invested any energy into the direction of the film  the sluggishly paced holyman is not only slow and overlong  113 minutes   but an unfunny bore  and murphy can do little to juice up the proceedings  cleansed of both the attitude and comic sensibility that made him a star  g is  for the most part  a straight man   he is a curiously lifeless presence  goldblum is actually quite good  but its hard for the audience to sustain much interest in his character and spiritual journey when the director doesnt seem to be much interested  either  
neg	 pokemon 3  the movie  has a lot of bad things in it  first of all its a plot heavy mess that has bad voice talents  badly written script and fantastic animation  the first film came out the end of 1999 and was a huge hit grossing almost 90 million domestically  a sequel soon followed and even made 45 million  warner has released their third movie based on the immensely popular video game and tv series and its a waste of time and celluloid  this time ash ketchum and his friends are on their way to the johto battles  which my little brother told me the new spinoff is  pokemon  the johto journeys  so go figure  anyway he comes in contact with a young girl whos father has disappeared after trying to discover the unown  they are small pokemon with a powerful punch and have great psychic abilities  the unown bring together their psychic abilities and create entei a powerful legendary pokemon who barriers young mollys house and creates every wish she wants  now its up to ash and his friends to stop this pokemon entei and show him to be a good pokemon rather than a bad one  too bad really that this is a bad movie  surprisingly the first movie was entertaining and somewhat absorbing  the second was a piece of trash and this one is almost in between  it has some good qualities  animation  message in the end  but the flaws seem to overpower the goods  im still not sure what the big thing is about pokemon  they are ugly little animals who speak their own name for their language  besides meowth  my personal favorite  and you dont understand what they are saying  my little brother just thought the movie was amazing  and i kept leaning over and asking him happened  or what pokemon that was  his response was a big lecture of how this is that  and that is this    he sure did put me in my place  with the second and third movie being bad  i have a feeling pokemon 4  the movie might be a total bust as well   pokemon 3  the movie  has some redeeming qualities for the kids  and the pokemon fans will dig every minute of this film  for those parents andor brothers and sisters who have to sit through this    bring a pillow  
neg	1  he doesnt have a hardtodecipher accent  2  he doesnt always speak in a monotone  and 3  his face doesnt always wear the same impassive expression  in short  the former nfl player turned fox sportscaster turned actor is too good to be bad  but too bad to be good  unfortunately  the same cannot be said of his first star vehicle  firestorm  which is just plain awful  one of the most glaring problems with long  who made his acting debut in john woos broken arrow  is that hes so mediocre that he often blends in with the scenery  as ace firefighter jesse graves  long is supposed to be playing a biggerthanlife action hero  the kind of he man who will crash through a flaming door to save a child or parachute into a burning clearing to rescue some stupid campers  unfortunately  despite the best efforts of firsttime director dean semler to photograph long using heroic shots that make kevin costners work in the postman look stark  jesse turns out to be a pretty boring good guy  to put it kindly  this is not a wellwritten motion picture  firestorm is a collection of howlingly bad lines set against a backdrop of disaster movie clich  s which  taken together  form something that requires a level of viewer inebriation to be recognized as a plot  the only reason this film is getting one star  instead of something lower  is that most of the fire sequences are realistic  and i was fascinated by the meticulous planning that must have been necessary to stage them effectively  were introduced to our big burly hero one afternoon when he and some colleagues jump into the midst of a forest fire to save a group of people  during this sequence  our big burly hero proves that hes also a sensitive guy by risking his life to save a little girl and her dog  yes  the dog lives  from being broiled alive  flashforward a year  now  our big burly hero is taking over as chief of his smokejumpers association  replacing outgoing honcho wynt perkins  real actor scott glenn   but this day  our big burly heros first in charge  isnt going to be businessasusual  a group of nasty escaped criminals have set a wyoming forest alight to aid their flight to freedom  led by randy earl shaye  william forsythe   the sadistic creep who must be killed twice to really die  they pose as canadian firefighters who somehow got lost across the border  along the way  they meet and take hostage the damsel in distress  suzy amis   eventually  our big burly hero is placed in a position where he has to fight the fire  rescue the damsel in distress  defeat the sadistic creep who must be killed twice to really die  and restore order to the galaxy  firestorms director  dean semler  is a former cinematographer  he won an academy award for his work on dances with wolves   so its no surprise that the film looks good  unfortunately  thats firestorms lone asset  and it falters near the end  when computergenerated special effects fill up the screen  these are of about equal quality to what you might observe on a nintendo 64 video game  the action sequences  which include a variety of chases  are occasionally interesting  but never invigorating  everyone  including long  appears to be going through the motions  there isnt a memorable performance to be found from beginning to end  unless you count the forest fire  which generates some heat  as the sadistic creep who must be killed twice to really die  william forsythe lacks panache  hes worse than a generic bad guy  hes a boring generic bad guy who doesnt have any snappy oneliners to hurl at our big burly hero  my advice to scott glenn  absolute power  and suzy amis  titanic  is to accidentally forget this film the next time theyre making out a resume  theres some small comfort in knowing this early in the year that i already have one entry for my bottom 10 list   at least i hope there arent 10 worse films than this   and i know i wasnt the only one who really disliked this movie  as the audience was filing out of the screening  i loitered in the theater lobby to catch a few comments  the general consensus seemed to be that  although the movie sucked  the promotional key ring was cool  the problem is that fox wont be giving out key rings to regular moviegoers  so that nixes any reason to see firestorm  
neg	seen at  amc old pasadena 8  pasadena  ca  in sdds  paul verhoevens last movie  showgirls  had a bad script  bad acting  and a  plot   i use the word in its loosest possible sense  that served only to allow lots of sex and nudity  it stank  starship troopers has a bad script  bad acting  and a  plot  that serves only to allow lots of violence and gore  it stinks  nobody will watch this movie for the plot  but heres a brief synopsis anyway  some friends straight out of high school sign up for the federal reserve  armed forces  at a time when evil bugs from the planet klendathu are sending meteors towards earth from the other side of the galaxy  after one slips through the defences and destroys buenos aires  the home city of the main characters   war is declared  this involves sending the grunts  who include johnny rico  van dien  and dizzy  meyer   down to the surface of the bugs planet  much carnage ensues  the troops are withdrawn and sent to another planet to answer a distress call  more carnage ensues  after being rescued  their plans are changed to capture a  brain bug  which is believed to be controlling the aliens battle plans  look  i didnt write this  ok    yet more carnage ensues  get the picture  interspersed throughout all this are brief  ads  from the federal network  which present the picture of a neofascist state  much like in verhoevens robocop  there are many problems with starship troopers  the plot  where one exists to drive the movie onwards  is silly  harris  star of tvs doogie howser  md  is presented with a psychic ability to talk to his ferret early on in the movie  apparently so we will accept his ability to mindmeld with a  brain bug  later on  in addition  the first thirty minutes of the movie  until the characters sign up for service  drag on like a bad episode of beverly hills  90210  the characters are onedimensional  so much so  that when dizzy is killed  she says its ok because she got to sleep with rico  i had hoped that verhoevens use of a noname cast would allow him to kill off several of the lead characters to surprise the audience  but such an idea appears to have escaped him  the dialogue is embarassing and isnt helped by the frequently terrible delivery  i almost burst out laughing when harris delivered his speech about the need to sacrifice a few hundred people for the good of the species   finally  the fake  ads  become a nuisance  although they evoke the propaganda of the wwiiera movietone reels  as presumably they are meant to   their complete lack of subtlety blunts their effect  some people will say all of thats irrelevant  the movie hinges on the battle scenes  so what about those battle scenes  well  i admit the effects are good  the bugs move about quite convincingly  especially when they have been deprived of a few of their limbs  and people have their brains blown out  their limbs cut off  and their bodies ripped in two in quite impressive ways  but this is my problem  the entertainment value of the film rests almost entirely on its graphic portrayal of gore  and its continous attempt to gross us out  starting early on when richards character vomits onscreen   verhoeven appears to be trying to make a movie employing the elements that made a robocop a success  but fails spectacularly  while robocop had a message about the importance of being human  and gave the bad guys some motivation  starship troopers lacks even these simple features  when the brain bug sucks out a characters brain near the end of the film  its merely an analogy for what the film has done to us  this film is full of graphic violence and is not suitable for children under 16  
neg	often similar to a little boy lost in a park that he had no right venturing into  the call of the oboe  o toque do oboe  is a disappointing film that seems to have wandered astray  many elements of the film are solid  and have potential far greater than director claudio macdowell will ever know  but they simply dont convert into a solid work  although a setting is never established  it becomes apparent  the film takes place somewhere in a latin american village in present day  the community is a dull one  where every day is a downhill slide from the last  over time  the people have taken to themselves  the town cinema is closed  no tourist has passed through in years  and the daily funeral processions are accompanied by no one other than the grave digger  so what happens when a  tourist   paolo betti  does arrive one day  he sends this routine and dull town into mayhem and shock  it is revealed that he is a musician who plays the oboe as a hobby  when he sits down in the park one day to give a solo performance  the entire community gathers around for their first bit of entertainment in countless years  it is from that that the musician meets some of the villagers  and agrees to play at the local cinema in accompaniment to a silent film  thus opening the theatre for the first time in ages  the woman that talks him into this witty task is the cinema owner  leticia vota  who also happens to be engaged to the towns police inspector  a figure who soon becomes suspicious of his fiances involvement with this musician  the rest of the plot closely resembles a freak show gone horribly astray  it features a character who literally rises from his grave  a woman who has a phone conversation with god  and the aforementioned inspector who goes from an intriguing and serious character  to an almost humorous drunk  technically  this film is a nightmare  the music score is poorly edited into the film  so it is often choppy  rough  and abrupt  the lighting is poor at best  which makes it increasingly difficult to focus on many scenes  and the english subtitles are full of misspelled words  and are often absent presumably on the assumption that the audience will be able to understand some simple portuguese and spanish phrases  this translation flaw is best highlighted at the beginning of the film when what seems to be a relevant fight is filled with dialogue  but the subtitles are limited to fewer than 25 words  in addition  the pace of the film seems uneven  it opens with a series of long panoramic shots that alone can test ones patience  the film then moves into a faster pace  that again slows towards the end  as the director seems determined to reach the two hour mark  there was  however  potential for this film  it is a piece exploring the beauty of cinema and music  and the reunification of people  these are all topics that could easily fill a movie  perhaps  if there were no freak show  and the technical aspects were to improve  there might just be a thing of beauty at the end  most importantly  though  the director would have to patch up the plot and make it flow better so that the two hours arent such a bore  until then  there seems to be little more hope for this piece  than that boy has by simply crying out  mommy  while he wanders astray in a park  
neg	a friend invites you to a movie  this film would evade the explosions and special effects of standard summer fare  and be grounded in reality  the plot is as follows  after a terrifying incident  a mother and her independent daughter separate from the father and move away from the city  they need fresh air to get some perspective  maybe to start over  romance begins to brew  however  as one of the locals  played by an international superstar in rugged clothing  sparks things up   especially at a countrywestern slow dance   it stars a rising young starlet  helms a good cast  and is directed by one of the better actorturneddirectors in hollywood  you accept  you jump at the opportunity to see  what you believe to be  the horse whisperer  but  poor moviegoer  you have been conned  alas  you find yourself watching  incredulously  hope floats  oh  woe  your hope has sunk  why was this movie made  why was it released  it is a travesty on nearly every level  and has the authority to sink the careers of nearly everyone involved  at the hands of a better script  the film could have been a gem  but it is clueless as to what it is about  and only succeeds in transferring same cluelessness to us poor viewers  hope floats stars sandra bullock as birdy  who  after discovering her husband has been cheating on her with her best friend  on national television no less   takes her daughter and drives back to her home  helmed by a countryish bumpkin eccentric played by gena rowlands   she decorates with stuffed wildlife   birdys nephew  travis  played by leave it to beavers cameron finley   is under her custody  and in one of the films many failed injokes  is always seen wearing a different halloween costume  what is the point of this  does it make any sense  is it supposed to be funny  the point of the film is to show that the family is eccentric  but i was convinced that the grandma should have been locked up for endangering the mental welfare of a child  all of this undercuts the plot  of which there is none  there are only many scenes that are supposed to register emotion  theres the scene where birdy  who used to be the prom queen  is humbled by approaching a peer she once mocked  for a job  theres the scene where birdy dances with her father  in the hospital for alzheimers  and then theres the sentimental scenes with justin  played by harry connick jr   who is taking a liking to her again  showing her a beautiful pad that he built from scratch  and during each of these scenes  i was sidetracked by my earlier question  what sort of eccentric grandmother go through such great pains as to provide a dog costume  a kermit costume  a cowboy costume  with whip   and a full furred barney costume for her grandson to wear during dinner  what sort of warped ramifications would this lead for the rest of his life  outside of this  there are other sure signs of screenwriters block  when the daughter stands up to the bully at school  when birdy almost loses her job  when the family pulls in a goofy lipsynch to cheer someone up  when someone dies  when the daughter cries   no  wails  in exasperation that her father is not coming back  in a movie like this  you notice the strings being pushed  and you sit there  comatose  hoping it will end  who can survive such a debacle  i worry for bullocks career  which has been running on autopilot for the last few years  she has an attitude  a solid perkiness  and can drive a busbut she cant handle the emotional scenes  much less hold a southern accent  harry connick  jr  is worsestick with singing  or get some acting lessons  please  gena rowlands is the best part of the film  but shes such a good actress  that it staggers the mind that shes weighed down by such lukewarm material here  it would be a severe tragedy if the recurring star of john cassavettes great films is known for this film  two notes to forest whittaker   1  cut the slowmotion sequences  there are twelve times where you undercut your own direction by such a failed trick  have you done so  you could have shaved off tenminutes of this almost unbearable debacle   2  youve had to know something was wrong if your cinematographers filter makes the candlelight appear like little  x  s  youre not a bad director  but you cant change a terrible script  theres a recurring scene where birdy  working at the neighborhood fotomat  finds the machine go wrong  and image after destroyed  warped  dark image appear  think about it  a succession of destroyed images may have been more entertaining than this movie  
neg	any remake of an alfred hitchcock film is at best an uncertain project  as a perfect murder illustrates  frankly  dial m for murder is not one of the master directors greatest efforts  so there is ample room for improvement  unfortunately  instead of updating the script  ironing out some of the faults  and speeding up the pace a little  a perfect murder has inexplicably managed to eliminate almost everything that was worthwhile about dial m for murder  leaving behind the nearly unwatchable wreckage of a wouldbe 90s thriller  almost all suspense films are loaded with plot implausibilities  the best thrillers keep viewers involved enough in whats going on so that these flaws in logic dont become apparent until long after the final credits have rolled  unfortunately  in a perfect murder  the faults are often so overt that we become aware of them as theyre happening  this is a very bad sign  not only do such occurrences shatter any suspension of disbelief  but they have the astute viewer looking for the next such blunder  of course  in the case of a perfect murder  at least that gives an audience member something to do besides concentrating on the inane plot and the lifeless  cardboard characters  a perfect murder isnt a strict remake of dial m for murder  but it does borrow heavily from frederick knotts play  which was also the source material for hitchcocks version  as well as a 1981 madefortv retelling   emily hayes  gwyneth paltrow  is the wealthy wife of powerful wall street moverandshaker steven hayes  michael douglas   their marriage isnt going well  emily resents stevens controlling instincts  and  as a form of rebellion  she is having an affair with a penniless painter  david shaw  viggo mortensen   when steven learns of the relationship  he decides to confront david  but his approach isnt that of a typical cuckolded husband  instead of yelling or threatening  steven offers david a proposal thats too good to resist  for 500  000 in cash  100  000 before  the rest after   he is to break into stevens new york apartment and kill emily   of course  after getting the first payment  david never bothers to ask how hes supposed to get the rest   ultimately  im not sure which of the three main characters were supposed to be sympathetic to  the coldhearted husband  who wants his wife dead so he can get his hands on her fortune  her mercenary lover  who is willing to do the deed for halfamillion  or the woman  who is happily carrying on an extramarital affair  not only are these individuals all profoundly dislikable  but theyre not interesting   its possible to make a good movie with detestable characters  see reservoir dogs  but there has to be something compelling about them  which  in this case  there isnt   steven  emily  and david are all lifted directly from the screenwriting 101 text book on stereotypes  the actors in this film are obviously just on hand to get their paychecks  michael douglas is playing the kind of heartless tycoon that he can do in his sleep  hes gordon gekko with an unfaithful wife  gwyneth paltrow  who was recently delightful and appealing in sliding doors  is simply awful here  she now has the dubious distinction of have starred in two of 1998s worst thrillers  the other being hush   at least viggo mortensen  g  i  jane  has a little fun with his part  but then he usually does interesting things even in bad movies  the thin supporting cast includes david suchet  the star of  poirot   as a police inspector  and sarita choudhury  kama sutra  as emilys best friend  a perfect murder is a plodding production that generates almost no suspense from beginning to end  there arent many twists and turns in the unexpectedly linear script  which makes the ending inevitable almost from the start  its surprising to see director andrew davis  the man behind the fugitive  involved in this mess  but  like his stars  he too needs to earn a living  its just that remaking hitchcock  and doing it so badly  hardly seems to be an honorable way to go about getting the dough  
neg	steve martin shines but sgt  bilko fails to impress based on the popular 50s sitcom  sgt  bilko follows the string of oldsitcomstomovie conversion fever  remember the brady bunch movie or the beverly hillbillies released sometime back   brady bunch was a moderate hit in in the us while hillbillies flopped   i do not really know whether the hollywood minds are running out of good ideas or just being plain lazy  but the tvconversionmovies are hitting our screens like wildfire  sad to say  with mixed success  such movies are mostly targeted at us viewers since they are usually followings of such series over there and the larger the following  the more likely the sitcom will be made into a movie  sgt  bilko  frankly  i have not seen any its original tv version   even with the charm and wild antics of funnymen steve martin and dan akroyd  failed to entertain  sgt  ernest bilko is the man behind the motor pool  place of vehicle storage and repair  of fort baxter  though totally unskilled in the field of work that he is supposed to be in charge of  he has an almost superhuman ability and zeal to sniff out moneymaking opportunities  from running a gambling den in the military garage to 4d pools  though materialistic in mind  bilkos methods has thoughtfully enriched the lives of the men of fort baxter  providing them with some form of real recreation within the camp and the people love him for that  colonel hall runs the entire fort and thanks to his inborn blissfullyconfused state  bilko has managed to hide his operation  though nearly every living person in the fort knows about it  bilkos state of ascent is suddenly underfire when the pentagon sends major thorn  a tough cookie on army regulations  to check on the progress on the 70 million hovertank project  a new weapon under development within the forts grounds  to add to his problems  thorn is determined to bring bilko down in retalliation of a major sabo done on him by bilko during their younger army days  director jonathan lynn  who directed my cousin vinny  in which marisa tomei won an oscar for bestsupporting actress  managed to pull sgt  bilko through with suitable pacing and some exceptional moments of laughter  but that is about it  there are really not enough laughterpackedmoments in sgt  bilko to fully entertain the average moviegoer  still  steve martins sgt  bilko is played with finesse and fullforce by the renowned comedian  without him  sgt  bilko would have just fell flat on its face  sgt  bilko did moderately well in the us box office early this year but i doubt it will earn much elsewhere around the world  the current trend in mixed successes in such tvconversions may be a blessing in disguise  really  at least it will force hollywood to rethink any of its initial intentions to turn another tvidea into a movie or at the very least approach those ideas with more creativity  unless you are a fan of the tvseries or love to watch steve martin in action  you can skip this one when deciding which movie to catch in the local theatres  im sure there are better ones around  
neg	look  the new version of  psycho  came out and the world didnt end  i guess gus van sant really isnt the bringer of the apocalypse  unfortunately  though  that  psycho  didnt end the world as we know is the best thing that can be said for it  van sants controversial  retelling  of alfred hitchcocks classic 1960 film has polarized filmgoers everywhere  even before it premiered   without benefit of an actual viewing  many have said that the film will  at best  suck  being an  almost  good critic  i waited until i actually saw it to decide that the film  at best  sucked  and that concludes the use of the word  suck  and  hopefully  the thoughts that i am a braindead orangutan   director gus van sant took the original hitchcock film and refilmed it  shotforshot  using the same  exact script  with a few minor alterations   the inherent challenge was in making the film suspenseful and scary  even though a large group of the audience will know exactly what will happen at the exact time  suspense probably could have been attained if the actors had been able to create something new or different than the original  sadly  that did not occur  it is hard to be overshadowed by vera miles and john gavin  from the original  psycho   but that is what exactly happened to julianne moore and viggo mortensen  in moores case  the film would have been helped if  the x files  gillian anderson had been cast instead  especially since moore goes through the entire film doing a scully impression  from the cold demeanor and expressions to her rigid way of forming a sentence  moore is scully  mortensen  who i liked in  g  i  jane   opts to play sam loomis as a cowboyhick  which would have been nice if he had gone past that starting point  sam has a twang and a cowboy hat  but thats about it  mortensen turns in one of the most uptight performance in recent memory  anne heche  in the janet leigh role  does a few good things in her brief time on screen  at least her marion crane has a little life in her  which cant be said for most of the rest of the cast  the best work  though  comes from vince vaughn  as the demented mamas boy  norman bates  hes not going to make anyone forget anthony perkins  but he is effective both in being naughty and nice  the best part of the film is the dinner scene heche and vaughn  where they simply talk  there is some solid acting there  something that is not carried through the rest of the film  van sant has made a boring film  all the camera tricks that hitchcock so eloquently used in 1960 arent as eyecatching now  what passed for brilliance then has been copied so many times by so many directors that they dont impress or excite  van sant  in what i assume is a grasp at originality  decided to put some streamofconsciousness images into a few famous scenes  was that a lamb in the middle of the road   these images  included with some questionable editing choices  took away from the scenes themselves and caused  at first  bewilderment and  later  laughter  definitely not hitchcocks intention  at least danny elfman had the good sense to not mess with bernard herrmanns original famous and terrific score  if a film like  psycho  does not frighten  then whats the point  aside from norman  the characters are thinly drawn people who leave no connection with the audience  there are things van sant and company could have done to at least make their recreation interesting  in the end  however  the new  psycho  is a noble attempt  but  alas  a dismal failure  
neg	an american werewolf in london is john landis groundbreaking feature about an american tourist who gets himself bitten by a werewolf in jolly old england  the groundbreaking part of the movie is the special effects  more specifically  the makeup used for the transformation of a man into a werewolf  and for the ghosts that haunt the main character  even twenty years after its release  that part of the movie is still impressive  although  i would have to say that it really is the only part of the movie that could be considered impressive  the rest of the movie is a run of the mill werewolf flick with some extra gore thrown in for good measure  if it werent for the cutting edge makeup effects used in the werewolf transformation it is most likely that this is a film that would have gone largely unnoticed when it was released back in 1980  and with good reason  the acting isnt great and neither is the writing  well ok  we dont actually expect either of those things to be great in a horror film  but one other important element is lacking here too  it isnt scary  with no exception  you know what is going to happen before it happens  you dont even need the obligatory scary music to give you a hint  i will give director john landis credit for this being one of the best looking horror films that i have ever seen  but john  it just wasnt scary  i didnt know if this was intended to be some sort of romantic drama and the whole werewolf thing was just thrown in to get people to come to the theater to see it  but it didnt work for me  actually  it was intended as a sort of a spoof on horror films  but the mix of the comedic moments with the melodrama was so bad  the intended humor was lost on me  its never a good sign that you dont realize a movie is supposed to be funny until after the movie is long over and you read it in the background material  call me crazy  but you shouldnt have to do research on a movie to enjoy it  im not even going to get into the plot of the movie that much  since the title pretty well sums the whole thing up  werewolf bites boy  david naughton   boy ends up in hospital where he is tended to and eventually falls for pretty nurse  jenny agutter  and then strange things begin to happen to boy  including  and i must admit this is a very nice touch  visits from his friend who was killed in the same werewolf attack that ended up with him in the hospital  the neat thing here is that his buddy is a rapidly deteriorating corpse  i know it sounds strange  but it actually works  the scenes between david naughton and the dead buddy  griffin dunne  are really the best parts of the movie  as i said  probably the only reason that this film was a hit was because of the special effects  while they are still impressive today  they arent impressive enough  or plentiful enough to warrant watching this film  and since they are more or less the highlight of the film  there are far better choices out there if you want a scary movie to curl up with your sweetheart to watch  actually  the 1998 sequel  an american werewolf in paris  is more entertaining since it doesnt take itself as seriously and actually provides a few more laughs along the way  
neg	capsule  annoyingly unentertaining  obvious and paperthin buddycopdrugsexywitness movie  presence of director michael bay shows none of the talent he demonstrated in the rock  ive seen this movie already  i said  as i looked at the box art  no  i havent even seen a trailer for the movie  i dont even know what its about  but i can look at the way theyre promoting it  and i know ive seen it already  i thought  its about these two cops  and theyre buddies  sort of  theyre at each others throats a lot  but they really do like each other  and everyone else in their department hates them cause theyre hotshots  and they have some kind of diametric opposition in their relationship  and one day theyre in the middle of cop business as usual when they get mixed up in this plot that involves a really sadistic bad guy with lots of henchmen who can never hit anything with the billions of rounds of ammo they are always carrying  and the bad guy is a drug lord  and theres a witness  and shes this sexy thing who rubs both of them the wrong way  and their supervisor wants their badges for breakfast when they blow up half the town bringing this guy down  i only missed the bit about the badges  the rest i got deadon  and i hadnt even left the video store yet  the cops in this movie are will smith and martin lawrence  and the bad guy is the immensely underutilized tcheky karyo  smith plays a cop who has a trust fund and is thus not a cop for the money  martin l  is a family man  shades of the nowtired lethal weapon dynamic here  whose wife and he are at total odds  this leads to some strained scenes about lawrences  not getting any   and some totally unneccesary bits with him skulking around his own house  thinking his partner is now his wifes  back door man   not funny  tiresome  bad boys gets some of its incredibly meager selling points from the presence of will smith and martin lawrence  will smith is a natural  and im happy to see him in movies like six degrees    and men in black  hes funny and charming without trying to be  he really does seem to be enjoying himself  martin lawrence is a different story  hes so uptight and verbally constipated that sitting through his improvised riffs are a trial  movies like this are not about originality  i know this  they are about style and energy and synergy between actors  i know this  too  and yet  while watching bad boys  which its glamorous photography and impossibly exact stunt choreography  i felt fed up  id seen con air  which despite being completely implausible  was still great fun  because it tried however feebly to put some new life into the mix  bad boys is a dry run  and overlong  too  clocking in at just over two hours with a lot more byplay than i felt could be justified  i could write this movie  you could write this movie  many people have  many people will continue to write this movie  over and over again  other people will buy it from them  and make it  and we will pay money to see it  more the fools we all  in a terrifyingly prescient line from his book a scanner darkly  phil k  dick once mused that the mcdonaldburger  as he called it  would eventually eclipse money as the token of cultural and financial exchange  one day we will all just sit in our living rooms and sell the same burger back and forth to each other  the same could be said about this movie  i have the sinking feeling were going to see it again  soon  
neg	in the first death wish movie  mildmannered new york architect paul kersey  played by charles bronson  was avenging the death of his wife  in the second  he was avenging his daughter  in the third  he instigated small war in order to avenge the old friend  fourth movie  on the other hand  begins with kersey doubting the point of his violent crusades and living the quiet life with his girlfriend karen  played by kay lenz  however  since this is death wish movie  we know that sooner or later something bad is going to happen to the people kersey cares for  this time karens teenage daughter dies of a crack overdose and kersey is forced to return to his old vigilante ways  kerseys new targets  unlike the previous movies  arent the ordinary street punks but rich  heavily armed and wellconnected drug dealers  even such unstoppable killing machine like kersey needs some support  and it comes from the publisher nathan white  john p  ryan   determined to avenge the drugrelated death of his own daughter  whites plan is to make kersey kill major players in two rival drug dealing organisations and thus instigate the war between them  the plan begins to take shape  but kerseys actions bring attention of two police detectives  reiner  george dickerson  and nozaki  soon teckoh   fourth  and  unfortunately  not the final  installment in the death wish series  will probably remembered as the typical movie of cannon group  production company responsible for some of the worst cinematic trash of the last decade  however  although some critics might argue  death wish 4  the crackdown represents slight improvement over the death wish 3  paul kersey  one of the most intriguing  and potentially controversial  characters of the 1970s  is still being dumbed down by mediocre script  and charles bronson really doesnt feel the need to put much effort in his acting  however  the hand of a veteran director j  lee thompson seems more capable of michael winners and the action scenes seem slightly less surreal  although they still look cheap and repetitive and downright boring  there are some attempts for the movie to have a plot between the numerous scenes of violence  and one of such attempts is a potentially interesting plot twist at the end  the script even tries to fake some social conscience  through criminally underused kay lenzs character  and predates the war on drugs campaign that would inspire many hollywood products in next few years  there are even some halfhearted attempts of humour  both intentional and unintentional  like in a scene where kersey assassinates mob figures by a wine bottle  but the quality of this movie is still far away from bronsons 1970s classics   special note to xphiles  mith pilleggi  the actor who plays ad skinner in the x files  could be seen in a small role of cannery lab foreman   
neg	ive never written a review for a movie i havent watched all the way through  but i had to make an exception with powder  i was about fortyfive minutes into this one at a friends house when he and his brother got into a huge shouting match that would have ended in violence had we not left the house  so i never got to finish the movie and im sure as hell not going to pay three more bucks to watch half of a bad movie  but i can at least get a partial review out of it  because i saw enough to know this one wasnt worth finishing in the first place  the movie centers around a freaky teenager whos spent his entire life living in the cellar of his grandparents house  when grandpa dies  taking his department store down with him   social worker mary steenburgen has to take powder  first and middle names  gold bond  to a state home  where we find out hes a different from the other kids  actually  we find out hes different when we first see him  because hes the most pale individual weve ever seen and moreover he has no body hair whatsoever  when powder is born in the opening minutes of the movie  the father takes one look at him and says  hes not my son   obviously  all i want to know is where the pillsbury dough boy was nine months ago  so the whitefaced freak leaves his neverland ranch for the state home and faces the ridicule of other kids  that is  until they try to haze him during his first cafeteria lunch by making him  wear  his spoon   you can either wear it on your nose or up your ass   decisions  decisions     and he uses telepathic powers to draw all the silverware in the room into a giant pile in the middle of the table  so if his father is the pillsbury dough boy  his mother must be sissy spaceks carrie character  and you have to factor in two more things from the subsequent scenes  as we find out powder has some sort of superintelligence   your i  q  test went straight off the chart    and attracts electrical power  this first shows up as powder visits the world of high school  if hes such a genius already  why would he need a high school education   and sits through a demonstration in jeff goldblums science class  goldblum plugs in a  jacobs ladder  device that shows current running up two wires and immediately the current flows across the room and into powders chest  but goldblum just stands there for about thirty seconds watching  instead of just unplugging the damn thing  i guess he was too busy contemplating why he was appearing in his third bad movie in a row  following hideaway and nine months   thats about all i saw before the big fight began and  let me tell you  that was twice as interesting as the movie itself  but like i said  i saw enough to know this would be one of those terrible melodramas about the isolation of people who have superior abilities and how hard it is for those people to assimilate themselves into mainstream civilization  none of these movies ever handle the subject properly  instead introducing the feeble beauty and the beast copout of having a beautiful woman fall in love with the guys personality  overlooking his personal appearance  i already had the female character picked out  the girl who was sitting next to him in the back of the room during the electrocution scene   but i guess ill never know for sure what happened  from noraruthaol  com mon jun 10 15  04  03 edt 1996 article  3654 of rec  arts  movies  reviews path  nntphub  cb  att  com  notformail from  noraruthaol  com  andrew hicks  newsgroups  rec  arts  movies  reviews  rec  arts  sf  reviews subject  review  powder  1995  followupto  rec  arts  movies  currentfilms  rec  arts  sf  movies date  10 jun 1996 18  16  03 gmt organization  university of missouri  columbia lines  70 sender  eclmtcts1  att  com  evelyn c  leeper  approved  eclmtcts1  att  com messageid    replyto  noraruthaol  com  andrew hicks  nntppostinghost  mtcts2  mt  lucent  com summary  r  a  m  r  05425 keywords  authorhicks originator  eclmtcts2 xref  nntphub  cb  att  com rec  arts  movies  reviews  3654 rec  arts  sf  reviews  710 status  ro powder a film review by andrew hicks copyright 1996 andrew hicks  fatboy productions ive never written a review for a movie i havent watched all the way through  but i had to make an exception with powder  i was about fortyfive minutes into this one at a friends house when he and his brother got into a huge shouting match that would have ended in violence had we not left the house  so i never got to finish the movie and im sure as hell not going to pay three more bucks to watch half of a bad movie  but i can at least get a partial review out of it  because i saw enough to know this one wasnt worth finishing in the first place  the movie centers around a freaky teenager whos spent his entire life living in the cellar of his grandparents house  when grandpa dies  taking his department store down with him   social worker mary steenburgen has to take powder  first and middle names  gold bond  to a state home  where we find out hes a different from the other kids  actually  we find out hes different when we first see him  because hes the most pale individual weve ever seen and moreover he has no body hair whatsoever  when powder is born in the opening minutes of the movie  the father takes one look at him and says  hes not my son   obviously  all i want to know is where the pillsbury dough boy was nine months ago  so the whitefaced freak leaves his neverland ranch for the state home and faces the ridicule of other kids  that is  until they try to haze him during his first cafeteria lunch by making him  wear  his spoon   you can either wear it on your nose or up your ass   decisions  decisions     and he uses telepathic powers to draw all the silverware in the room into a giant pile in the middle of the table  so if his father is the pillsbury dough boy  his mother must be sissy spaceks carrie character  and you have to factor in two more things from the subsequent scenes  as we find out powder has some sort of superintelligence   your i  q  test went straight off the chart    and attracts electrical power  this first shows up as powder visits the world of high school  if hes such a genius already  why would he need a high school education   and sits through a demonstration in jeff goldblums science class  goldblum plugs in a  jacobs ladder  device that shows current running up two wires and immediately the current flows across the room and into powders chest  but goldblum just stands there for about thirty seconds watching  instead of just unplugging the damn thing  i guess he was too busy contemplating why he was appearing in his third bad movie in a row  following hideaway and nine months   thats about all i saw before the big fight began and  let me tell you  that was twice as interesting as the movie itself  but like i said  i saw enough to know this would be one of those terrible melodramas about the isolation of people who have superior abilities and how hard it is for those people to assimilate themselves into mainstream civilization  none of these movies ever handle the subject properly  instead introducing the feeble beauty and the beast copout of having a beautiful woman fall in love with the guys personality  overlooking his personal appearance  i already had the female character picked out  the girl who was sitting next to him in the back of the room during the electrocution scene   but i guess ill never know for sure what happened  
neg	this is the movie that could singlehandedly bring  mystery science theater 3000  out of cancellation  its one of those movies thats so bad its absolutely hilarious  due in no small part to its big star  supermodel cindy crawford  if you only remember one thing about fair game  it should be that it singlehandedly proves crawford should stick to the sports illustrated swimsuit issues  if you thought kathy ireland was laughable in alien from l  a   youll change your mind when you see fair game  ireland would win handfuls of oscars if this was her only competition  in a real casting coup  crawford plays a superintelligent lawyer  in a jogging bra  of course   we all know this is a stretch  the only legal opinion crawford has ever put forth being that she favors the death penalty for anyone who wears white after labor day  nonetheless  someone out there thought shed make a good lawyer  but were reminded of her true function in the movie when she takes two showers in a period of twenty minutes  and for you horny teenage boys out there  you actually get to see her topless for two seconds in the dark    come to think of it  that may have been a body double  cindy crawford isnt black  is she  like i said  crawford is a lawyer with a bunch of russians after her  billy baldwin  or is it stephen  alec  adam  kim basinger   is the police detective who has to save her life  time after time  chase after chase  explosion after explosion  theres absolutely nothing original about this movie  its every cop show of the 70s mixed with every action thriller of the 80s and every technology exploitation movie of the 90s  three decades of crap all in one place  driven further into the ground by crawfords complete lack of acting talent  and its all completely predictable  you know the mistakes baldwin and crawford are going to make before they make them  you know when the  sexual tension  will finally end up in them consummating the relationship  you know when the villains will capture crawford so baldwin has to rescue her in the climax and you know the movies going to suck from the first scene  the plot isnt really explained until the end  all we know is these russians have every detail about crawford in their computer  in the words of one of the villains   we even know what size pantyhose she wears    yeah  you and every 14yearold boy in america   he goes on to add   we know more about her than she does    that i find very easy to believe   i hope you enjoyed those two sample dialogue quotes  because i wrote down plenty of other bad ones   if it werent for me  youd still be pulling bananas out of your ass in cuba    because  you see  fair game is not only a showcase for recycled action cliches and terrible acting  but also some seriously bad dialogue  it all adds up to a really terrible movie that made me laugh in plenty of places i wasnt supposed to and grimace in places i was supposed to laugh  one more thing fair game has against it is some awful comic relief  would you laugh at a scene where crawford tortures a computer nerd with double entendres like  im very interested in hardware  and other crap about playing with his joystick  i wouldnt  but not because im a computer nerd  its just not funny  crawfords only contribution to the information age are a few gif files floating around with her head on a nude traci lords body    or was it jack lords body  ill leave you with the final line of dialogue in the movie  the boat with all the russians has just blown up and baldwin and crawford are floating on a life raft  crawford says woodenly   that was my clients boat you just blew up  im filing a lawsuit against you  youre in big trouble   or something to that effect  and baldwin replies smugly   what do i have to do to get out of it   they of course begin making out and the credits roll  im not going to talk about how stupid the line is or how  if theyd really wanted to go for a bad closing line they would have had baldwin say   you think i could settle out of court   but i will tell you that  if anyone ever suggests you watch fair game with him or her  you quote the final line of the movie to that person   what do i have to do to get out of it   serving america for over 150th of a century  
neg	attention moviegoers  you are about to enter a meaningfree zone  should the sound system malfunction during your viewing of 200 cigarettes  do not panic  the film will work just as well as a silent movie  chronicling the meaningless lives of vain  yuppie types  the movie covers the same ground as the wilt stillman films  last days of disco  barcelona and metropolitan  but without any of his acerbic wit and the inviting style of his writing  firsttime writer shana larsen makes the mistake of creating a couple of dozen characters and not giving any of them any depth  there isnt one of these characters worth caring about  the movie features such a cornucopia of hot young stars that it looks like a celluloid version of  people magazine   among others  the movie features  ben affleck  casey affleck  david chappelle  janeane garofalo  gaby hoffmann  catherine kellner  courtney love  jay mohr  martha plimpton  christina ricci and paul rudd  and unlike people magazine  the people speak  not that they have anything interesting to say  its new years eve in 1981  and monica  martha plimpton  is preparing her big party  structured as a series of relatively unrelated stories about her guests on the way to the party  director risa bramon garcia flits back and forth among her stars  monicas apartment is in  noho   an area that one of the guests describes as  so cool  all of the poor people live there   typical of the shallow couples in the movie are kevin  paul rudd  and his friend and wouldbe sexual partner lucy  courtney love   they argue about whether lucy is a slut or not since she sleeps with everyone  except him  of course  she dares him to go immediately to a bathroom stall and have sex with her  which turns out to be neither erotic  funny or successful  rather like the rest of the story  the movie gets its title from the carton of cigarettes that lucy gives kevin for his new years eve birthday   cigarettes are a shield against emotional interaction with other people   kevin later tells lucy in a snippet of dialog that sounds profound only outside the context of the movie  another character  played by jay mohr  has a problem with his sexual triumphs  every woman he beds falls deeply in love with him by the next morning  when his latest conquest tells him of her affection for him  his response is  i like a lot of people   as the movie finally draws to a close  the characters awaken from their postparty game of musical beds  some have passed out early from alcohol abuse and remember little  while others actually have some clue as to what happened  the movie itself is so forgettable that by the time you reach your car in the parking lot  all trace of the film will have vanished from your mind  which is probably the best thing that can be said about the movie  200 cigarettes runs 1  40  it is rated r for profanity  sex and one dope smoking scene and would be acceptable for older teenagers  
neg	i have nothing against unabashedly romantic films  when done right  with at least slightly evident restraint  they can be engaging  sweeping  appealing  but its a hell of a shame when someone botches it as badly as nora ephron botched sleepless in seattle  a hollow  boring romance that should appeal only to the most gullible of viewers  the ones willing to buy into ephrons whiny views of life and romance  tom hanks and meg ryan  two of hollywoods most likeable stars play sam baldwin and annie reed  repectively  baldwins wife recently died and he moved to seattle with his son  jonah  seeking to get away from the familiar surroundings which remind him of his late spouse  jonah senses tension and calls a talk radio show to tell the world about their problems  sam seems ready to strangle his son for calling the show  but when he gets on the phone he begins pouring his heart out  ephron has him do this so that annie reed  meg ryan  can hear it  annie is a happy woman  she is engaged to walter  an allergyprone working man and seems to be perfectly content  but after hearing sam the widower on the radio show  she becomes convinced that he is her destiny and is willing to risk her engagement for it  five years after this movie hit theaters  hanks  ryan and ephron would team up again in the far better  although still subpar romantic comedy youve got mail  which is about people who hate each other in real life falling in love on the internet  at least that movie had a sense of spontaneity  here it seems that the first one hundred minutes exist solely to set up for the last five  the fact that sam and annie will finally meet is so excruciatingly obvious that everything else is perfunctory  sleepless in seattle is full of wonderful performers  from its two leads to supporting stars like bill pullman and rosie odonnell  but none of them can save the film from being a bore  its characters are dull and empty  its script isnt funny or particularly charming  the script has a fundamental problem  annie gives up  for little reason  her life with walter to pursue  sleepless in seattle   whom she has never even seen  its the kind of life decision that real people dont make  and its a major  unforgivable plausibility sacrifice  in essence  this movies purpose is to head towards a goal that shouldnt even exist  its a ten minute short film with ninetyfive minutes of filler  if you were to show me sleepless in seattle and i didnt have to review it  you could just call me  asleep in philadelphia    1999 eugene novikov137  
neg	if youve seen the trailers or commercials  its rather difficult to really figure out what this movie has in store  well  its hard to tell after watching the movie as well  bruce willis is a resident of the future  and it is a rather bleak future  the worlds population had disintigrated into a mere 200  000 and is no longer ruled by humans but animals  the reason  in 1995  an organization called the army of the 12 monkeys contaminated the world with a pure virus  thus wiping out practically the worlds population in a mere month  bruce willis character is one of the surviving few  but is enslaved by scientists  as are most of last living humans  they barter his freedom by sending him on an assignment and having him do the ultimate task  go into the past  find the leader of the army of the 12 monkeys  and kill him  well  this explanation didnt come easy  although the movie is very thought provoking of us as a people  our future and the evilo in the world  as a story it is very confusing  and dragging  i know a movie isnt keeping my interest when i fidget in my seat or feel the need to look at my watch only to find that its only been an hour passed  terry gilliam has a certain style that i realize many appreciate  and i havent watched his previous work brazil  but this movie felt like it took too long to tell and yet when one realizes the end is near because it is very easy to figure out  you wish it were more complex  and not to mention that the movie is depressing is the only reason why it did invoke emotion from me  
neg	house on haunted hill  1999  starring taye diggs  geoffrey rush  ali larter  famke janssen  peter gallagher  bridgette wilson  max perlich  lisa loeb  james marsters  and chris kattan  directed by william malone  written by dick beebe   house on haunted hill  initializes itself to the audience with a scene involving zombielike mental patients attacking and murdering doctors in the goriest ways possible  one doctor is killed instantly after having a pencil rammed completely through his neck  a nurse has her head forced into a barrel of water  these mobs of zombies presented are like those in previous bhorror flicks  with grunting noises and cadaverous movements  except this time  at the end of the millenium  the film is given the power to show exactly how horrific these creatures can be  in past horror films  the actual murder scenes are left out or not shown forcing the viewer to assume their own nasty bloody deaths for the hapless victims   house on haunted hill  doesnt want their audience to have an imagination  everything is provided for them to watch and squirm  not think  this nonsense violence thrown out of nowhere is unfortunately the most refreshing part about this film   house on haunted hill   which is based on the 1958 film of the same title  introduces a handful of characters as quickly as it can  following the opening blood fest  the film has no intention of providing character development or a laudable plot  the aim here is to scare the audience with chilling  unexpected shots of blood  guts  and mayhem  however  the film is neither scary nor unpredictable  the plot involves five people who are dared to spend the night in a haunted house for one million dollars by an amusement park owner  geoffrey rush   each character is a failure in the external world and acknowledges that they would do anything for that money  since the characters are immediately generalized as either greedy or caring  the expectations of who will survive or not is killed five minutes after you meet them  the problem is that every character is not likable  the two who come closest to being civilized are a womanizer  taye diggs  who should be doing films a lot better than this with all of his talent  and a businesswoman who accepts being womanized  ali larter   the characters presented are so annoying and pathetic  that it is hard to cheer for them or scream them  the worst character in this film  or maybe in any film released this year  is chris kattans watson pritchett  he spends the whole film whining about the spooky house in a tone so irritating and inappropriate  that he unintentionally begins to seem more evil than the house itself  waiting for pritchett to die  was a strenuously difficult act to sit through  the most humorous actor of the bunch is geoffrey rush playing steven price  an homage to victor price who starred in the original   playing the rich man who supposedly organized the party  he plays the role perfectly in a twisted way where it is obvious that he is up to something just by the expressions on his face  however  rush is pretty much wasted in a confusing subplot involving a hateful marriage with evelyn price  played by famke janssen  the main problem is that  house on haunted hill  is not scary  to top off that huge disappointment  every actor was wasted and the script was completely ludicrous  if the annoying characters and hilariously bad dialogue were intentionally underdeveloped  similar to  deep blue sea    the goal for creating a creepy  suspenseful action film was completely missed  
neg	fit for a ghouls night out  fat girl stands cast iron firm with the simplistic  fatuous  builtin excuse that its woman director is baring the harsh sexual realities of adolescent girls  being a boy  i might not understand female behavior and am unequipped to analyze this particular pseudofeminist comingofage story  fair enough  ill pretend to ignore the mannered posturing and health class 101  this is a nono  dialogue when older teenage boy coaxes younger teenage girl to let him fuck her up the ass  speaking variations on  it wont hurt   for a scene that seems to last at least ten minutes  this is done almost entirely in an unbroken master shot that suggests unimaginative camerawork more than unblinking voyeurism  they dare you to look away  without possessing the courage of allowing the children to actually sound like children  theyre mouthpieces for writerdirector catherine breillats onenote clinical politics   rather than show an evenhanded evaluation of the rigors of hormonal change  breillat  previously responsible for the unwatchable romance  wants to indulge in her hour of hate  life is pain  highness  get used to it  shed find keen bedfellows in neil labute and todd solondz  other sultans of misanthropy who lack the balls to be earnest or honest  for children  dealing with trauma and pain is complicated  to bury that in sarcasm and academic theory feels cheap  these wouldbe auteurs  more like hauteurs  havent earned the right to display suffering because they dont layer it in emotional truth  as mike leigh does throughout naked and david lynch in several key scenes of blue velvet   of course  there i go again comparing her to all these  better  male directors  i dont care  gender be damned  shes borderline inept  braced for a kneejerk reaction from the art house crowd  mortified shock or compulsory applause will suffice   writerdirector catherine breillat may well accomplish her mission to get a rise out of people  dont be fooled  this grotesque oversimplification of awkward forays into passion may be quickly forgotten  remembered only as cold  boring  philosophically arid  and incompetently photographed  the hyperviolent climactic sequence proves so extraordinarily misguided that i honestly wondered whether breillat had thrown in an impromptu dream sequence  twelve years old  a bundle of dough with a sour pout  the superb ana  s reboux plays the titular fat girl with a thousand yard stare and a frumpy insouciance   her character is also named ana  s   sitting at the table morosely slurping down a banana split  her presence is grounded and heartbreaking  its a pity breillat never finds anything for her to do other than get defensive against her evil storybook sister  15year old elena  roxane mesquida   for bringing a transitory boyfriend home to their shared room  in this summer cottage  ana  s has no escape from her position as stoic bedside observer to elenas depressing confusion of cheap sex with romance  the boy in question  a smug italian college kid named fernando  libero de rienzo  is a real piece of work  claiming that the experience is a declaration of love while begging for a blowjob  ana  s doesnt receive any warmth from her largely absent parents  who join elena in making fun of her hefty girth  she finds pleasure in wandering the beach alone  singing songs to herself  and swimming in the pool kissing the metal railing and pretending that its her paramour  reboux commands the screen  but theres only so much a child actress can do recounting pretentious monologues to herself  if one is inspired to rescue this young performer and place her in a better movie  at least she fares better than the other young talent asked to perform in intense love scenes that might feel justified if they werent so dramatically misguided  this 83minute vignette is something of a horror show  but breillat saves her nastiest poison for the very end  on the long ride home punctuated by an uncomfortable silence between family members  gigantic trucks swerve by as the hour grows late  will mommy fall asleep at the wheel  perhaps  or maybe theres something deadlier around the corner  lying in wait to pounce upon the unsuspecting fat girl  whats more  she might even like it  with the intent of being unfair and unpredictable  placing her heroine in the most diabolical of corners in order to face up to impending adulthood  breillats extreme flourish of sadistic tawdriness reveals her as a master purveyor of contempt  fat girl is a bitter pill indeed  aka  ma soeur  screened at the 2001 new york film festival  feature coming soon   
neg	 marie couldnt talk   paulie  the parrot star of his own movie  tells us about the daughter in his original family   dad couldnt listen  and mom couldnt cope  so they got rid of me   paulie  the autobiography of a talking  not merely a mimicking  parrot  has jay mohr in the lead role of the bird  the voice  not the body  and as the minor character of benny  a smalltime crook who uses paulie to pull off small scams like stealing twenties from atms  as the parrot  mohr is delightful when director john roberts allows him to cut up  benny  on the other hand  is a character youve seen a thousand times before  and mohr brings nothing new to that role  robertss deliberately slow pacing of laurie craigs script lends a subtle sweetness to its humor but creates some definite problems  when a kids movie wants to mosey along  watch out  if the material is not crisp and perfectly composed  beauty can sometimes dissolve into tedium  so it is with paulie  when they let their bird do his standup comedy routines  the show hums and the audience roars  too often  however  a sleepy silence ensues among the viewers as they wait for the story to pickup again  tony shalhoub  the smartmouthed chef from big night  plays misha  a recent russian immigrant to the u  s  he had been a teacher of literature at home  but now he makes his living as a janitor in the animal research lab to which paulie has been taken for study  although misha gets a few nice lines   im russian  i like long stories     his somber part seems designed only to elicit our sympathy  besides paulie  the only character worth noting  other than 2 cute small parts played by cheech marin and gina rowlands  is the speechimpaired marie  played in a precious performance by cinematic newcomer  5yearold hallie kate eisenberg  naturally enchanting  she gives the picture genuine heart  the bad news is that her part is confined to the first half  the best scenes have the bird dancing and strutting to show off his comedic skills  when maries family gets a cat  for example  the bird  who hasnt wanted to learn how to fly until then  takes an instant interest in soaring  tricking the cat while insulting him at the same time  paulie calls him a stupid hairball  their rapid physical antics add to the humor of the situation  its good quality sitcom material but performed by animals  when one of the humans without much of a voice begins to sing  paulie cringes   im a bird   he explains with his frequently subtle humor   i have a small brain  and its about to explode   the movie contains rich doses of john debneys dreamy music  with heavy use of a solo violin  he keeps reinforcing the films heartwarming themes  and when paulie finally takes off in flight  the orchestra comes up loud and strong with cymbals clashing   its a long story   says paulie   its the only kind he knows   reflects misha  and the motion picture  which runs the standard length for a kids movie  still feels too long  the best parts are enthralling  but then there are all of those dead spots inbetween  paulie is a movie that never quite lives up to its promise but manages to charm nevertheless  paulie runs 1  32  it is raged pg for a few mild profanities and would be fine for all ages  my son  jeffrey  age 9  gave the movie   with his biggest complaint being that there wasnt enough action  he thought paulie was funny  and the actress that played marie was quite good  his friend sam  almost 9  thought the movie was  awesome  excellent   and gave it      he thought paulie was good  but he didnt believe the way maries speech impediment was acted  
neg	well  heres a distasteful  thoroughly amateurish item that  surprisingly  was actually a boxoffice hit at the time of its release  after just viewing the film for the first time  my primary question is how did anyone with an iq north of 35 enjoy this movie  it is cheap  idiotic  unfunny  and not nearly as raunchy as i had heard it was  at least some smut would have livened things up a bit   porkys   tells the story  if you can call it that  of four clueless high school buddies  pee wee  dan monahan   billy  mark herrier   tommy  wyatt knight   and mickey  roger wilson   whom desperately want to get laid  women  for the most part  are a mystery to them  and in this movie  they are to the audience  as well  since all of them are written and acted as if they are aliens from a different planet   their plan is sidetracked  however  when they venture out to a smarmy strip bar named porkys  which they are able to get into using fake ids  after they pay the manager onehundred bucks for three hookers  they are played a trick on and find themselves being dumped into the swamp below the building  for these four teenage guys  this means war on porkys   porkys   ultimately manages to fail on almost every possible level  as a teenage sexromp  it is not wild or amusing enough  as a comedy  all of the jokes are predictable and fall flat  as a look back at the 1950s  it is something  i suspect  most people from that era would want to bury deep in a grave  and as a revenge movie  it is a crushing bore  one of the most offensive things about   porkys   is how jawdroppingly inaccurate the film is about teenagers  the four main characters are not even attempted to be developed as characters  and we learn very little about them  except that they are horny and would probably feel more comfortable in a preschool  that sure is revealing information  the female characters fare even worse under the inaudacious screenplay and direction by bob clark  the women are all treated as objects or comedy props  rather than real people  for example  the two gym teachers  mrs  balbricker  nancy parsons  and honeywell  kim cattrall   only have one purpose  and that is to be made fun of  mrs  balbricker is a gruff  noholdsbarred  overwight woman who will not stand for any foolishness  and  in one particularly embarrassing scene for all involved  honeywell has sex with a coach and barks like a dog  there is no way to tell if parsons or cattrall are servicable actresses  even though i have the suspicion they are not   but one thing is for sure  they are asked to do things in this film that are not at all funny  only humiliating  to prove how outoftouch this socalled comedy is  compare it to other more serious 80s films about teenagers  and it looks even worse in comaprison  any of the john hughes pictures  such as 1984s  sixteen candles   or  1985s  the breakfast club   put   porkys   at an even greater shame  those films actually dealt with serious teen matters  but remained a great deal funnier  thanks to their bright and truthful writing  and heck  if   porkys   wanted to be a teenage sex movie  id take 1982s  fast times at ridgemont high   or 1982s  the last american virgin   over this any day of the week  director bob clark is not a bad director  two years after he made   porkys   he directed the nostalgic holiday classic   a christmas story   i would forgive him for this misfire  in fact  if it wasnt for the fact that he also wrote the screenplay  just the thought that someone would actually sit down to write such a piece of garbage  and think that it was actually a film worth releasing unto the unsuspecting world  is actually a whole lot funnier than anything in   porkys   
neg	okay  i just dont know why  but i seem to be getting this diversion to disneymade reallife actors movies    as well as reallife acting tim allen movies  i couldnt even make it through  the santa clause   so why did i even see this   just to make an idle point  i did like  toy story   but that was good  also  i have this aversion to bad french farces  and if they remake them into american films  well  this is my excuse  it was prom night  im not a prom person  my best friend and i impulsively went to the driveins where they were playing  grosse pointe blank   wouldnt mind seeing it again  but i had to suffer through this first  i agreed to go  ugh  in all fairness  i can say that at least this inane plot wasnt dreamed by an american  it was originally a french film released in america under the pseudonym of  little indian  big city   french title   un indien dans la ville    i stayed away from it like it was limburgher  and according to roger ebert  that was a good idea  but i can only imagine how bad that must be if this is an improvement  the stupid plot concerns a father who just learns he has a son from his current marriage  let me clarify  his wife  jobeth williams  left him years ago  and i mean years  around 13 or so  and went to an island in the carribean or something  he goes to her to finally get the divorce papers signed so he can remarry this    thing  played with an emphasis on overdone by lolita davidovitch  who is usually good   she tells him he has a son as his boatman goes off  he meets him  he has a weird name  mimi seku  i think    or as the bad joke goes   mitsubishi   laugh track cue   he knows english  they fish  more bad jokes  pirhanna joke  the kid has a pet spider  he makes a promise to take him to the statue of liberty    you know the drill  now this is where the plot complicates  well  complicates for this one  at least   the fishoutofwater joke switches from tim allen on an island to his island son in new york city  tim is a stock broker and his coffee profits are plunging because his laptop died and he wasnt able to communicate with his assistant or whatever he is  martin short  a russian mob is tossed into the plot somewhere  how come in every hokey french import  there is a mob    tim learns a lesson of life from his son and we discover that cellular phones can operate on an island even though there are no sockets to recharge the batteries  the story is crap  the jokes are hokey and not really funny  and the actors have to struggle to make it interesting  but the material is so fowl that even a rewrite by quentin tarantino couldnt help it  the whole time  i kept thinking that a grown person had to think this up and several more grown people had to do this  at the end of filming  did they all scream out   weve made a great movie  guys   i sure hope not  big question to get from this film  why would someone want to remake what was billed as one of the worst films of all time if theyre just going to do it the exact same way  huh  my  for some of the actors names and a joke or two that made me chuckle  i guess    okay  so i really feel bad for it  so i only gave it one star  
neg	 the beach  is a structurally confusing film that i can only describe has having multiple personality disorder  every forty minutes of this twohour film begins with a new theme  virtually discarding what has been set up in the preceding act  it starts off purposefully as a film about an innocent man seeking new thrills in a dangerous environment  but then in the second act  the mood of the film abruptly changes and it becomes a story about a love triangle on an idyllic island paradise that evokes visions of  blue lagoon   forty minutes later  the mood changes once more  and it becomes a dumbed down version of  lord of the flies  where an isolated community is discovered  where their moral code touts maintaining a sense of bliss at all costs  by the time its over  you can only scratch your head and wonder what this film was really meant to be about  the main character of  the beach  is angstridden richard  leonardo dicaprio   he travels to the netherworld of bangkok where back alley merchants push their wares upon unsuspecting tourists and scantily clad women brazenly ask if youre looking for a good time  richards voiceover tells the audience that he has come to this place because he is bored with his life and feels that one way to reinvigorate himself is to let go of the familiar and to enter into a world of the unknown  this seedy environment is just what richard is looking for  he checks into a fleabag hotel where he meets the crazed daffy  robert carlisle   he seems like a raving lunatic  obviously high from heavy drug use and looking as if he is afflicted with some sort of psychosis  though his jagged behavior would distress most of us  richard listens to him as he speaks of a mysterious island that contains the most perfect beach that anyone has ever seen  moreover  the island itself flourishes with enough hemp plants that can make a small city high for life  captivated by the idea  he asks two other hotel guests to join him on his journey  they are worldly etienne and the alluring francoise  who have also come to thailand for reasons similar to richards  once they finally arrive at this paradise  however  the mood of the story shifts to richards growing desire for francoise  this particular plot point is weak at best because there is absolutely no question in my mind that francoise will wind up with richard  etienne is about as exciting as fluffy  white sand  its odd that etienne never sees this coming  but paradise has a way of hiding potential threats just out of view  and once the three stumble across the hidden community  mood shift imminent   more events transpire that depict its hidden dangers  for example  there are marijuana fields close by patrolled by armed guards  and the lagoon in which they swim invites the occasional shark  there are several ideas that are introduced in  the beach  and each one could merit its own featurelength film  theres the man vs  nature angle  the love triangle angle  and the utopiagoneawry angle  but the film meanders so tremendously that its entire purpose becomes blurred  dicaprio  as a result  has an almost impossible time of trying to embody the different states of mind that he and the film goes through  consequently  the audience has an equally difficult time trying to keep up  
neg	the most absurd remake of 1998  its a toss up between gus van sants psycho and mighty joe young  the new disney picture based on the old rko picture   i knew i was in trouble when a polished  computergenerated version of that famous rko logo appeared before the head credits   there is no great demand for another giant ape moviemake that ape movie  period   witness the quick deaths of buddy  born to be wild and congo   and while this latest entry is inoffensive and watchable  its also an assembly line product through and through  lacking the charm and unpredictability of the jungle serials that partly inspired it  theron is jill young  as a young girl in the wilds of africa  she befriended a baby gorilla after both their mothers were slain by poachers  that baby gorilla  nicknamed joe  grows to immense proportions  and adult jill basically bides her time looking after him  playing hide and seek with him and guarding him against poachers  enter conservationist greg  paxton   who convinces jill to move with joe to california  where they can protect him better in a controlled environment  joe is restless at first  no sooner does he finally settle in to the new place than those nasty poachers show up in l  a   plotting joes demise  suffice it to say  the movie could have been called  joe  ape in the city   theron  so good in devils advocate  and paxton  so good in the recent a simple plan  are fine actors  but not fine enough to transcend the material  a paintbynumbers script from the hack writers of superman iv and mercury rising  the plot arguably borrows more from steven spielbergs the lost world than the 1949 original  with the computergenerated trexi mean  joewreaking havoc on the busy streets for an encore  the storytelling becomes especially lazy during this final third  with jill shouting   look  joes headed for the movie theatre   followed by a shot of joe scaling manns chinese theater  a moment later  jill shouts again something like  look  joes headed for an amusement park   and what do you know  theres joe at the pallisades carnival  scaring the bejesus out of innocent thrillseekers  the seams of lastminute edits to mighty joe young showunrelated scenes are patched together with quick dissolves  the movie sure feels uneven  regardless  act two is underdeveloped  while a little of joe smashing cars in act three goes a long  long way  underwood  tremors  speechless  was perhaps not the director for the job  even the plentiful  untamed landscape looks dull in his hands   capturing the beauty of nature requires more than his point and shoot style   i did enjoy certain sequences  especially the demoliton of a blacktie dinner sequence  and the prologue  however implausible  is touching   as a tyke  joe acts just like e  t   rick bakers makeup effects and puppetry are outstanding  the real star of the showyet  for all its technical flawlessness  the creature remains too grumpy and homicidal to love   his facial expressions are variations on a scowl   to be fair  i saw mighty joe young in a cinema packed with wailing childrenits a wonder i was able to decipher the dialogue  its certainly not a film for very young kidsintense fighting scenes may scare them  while any time joes not on camera may bore them to tears   note  older boys are more likely to be dazzled by therons colourful array of tank tops   i suspect bland mighty joe young is passable entertainment for a family outing  but they sure dont make  em like they used to  
neg	in 1990  the surprise success an unheralded little movie called ghost instantly rescued the moribund careers of its trio of abovethetitle stars  patrick swayze  demi moore  and whoopi goldberg  eight years later  moore and goldbergs careers arent exactly thriving  but they have had their share of screen successes since  the same cant be said of swayze  who has just added yet another turkey to his resume with the aptly named black dog  forget the mortal kombat moviesthis trucksploitation flick is the closest the movies has come to video games  good truck driver jack crews  swayze  must drive a cargo of illegal firearms from atlanta to new jersey  along the way  jack and his crew of three run into a number of obstaclessuch as a highway weigh station  evil truckers  and deadly uzifiring motorcyclists  every so often  like at the end of a video game  level  or  stage   the main baddie pops up  red  meat loaf  fresh from the triumph of spice world   who wants to steal the cache of guns  just in case you forget his name or have trouble keeping track of whos driving what  all of reds vehicles  be it a pickup or a big rig  are paintedyou guessed itred  i could go into more of the plot specifics  such as jacks dream of having a nice home with his family  the past trauma that sent him to prison and cost him his trucking license  the fbiatf crew tracking the cargo   but they are of little importance  all that matters to director kevin hooks and writers william mickelberry and dan vining are the obstacles jack confronts in his drive from point a to point b  but they fail at even this modest goal  for none of the highway chaos  as credibly staged as it is  is terribly interesting  let alone exciting  once youve seen a couple of trucks bang against each other or a big rig explode the first time  youve seen it every time  as dreary as black dog is as an entertainment  the saddest part about the film has nothing to do with what shows up onscreen  its that swayze has to reduce himself to such work  while far from the best of actors  he is certainly not horrible  and he is a charismatic presence  i dont know if its his judgment or the dearth of quality job offers that leads him to involve himself with bombs such as black dog  regardless  if he continues on this career track  could a tv series be far behind  
neg	these days  we are witnessing the deluge of films based on old  cult tv shows  most of the times  the fans of these shows shudder thinking what could hollywood hacks of the present do with the memories of their past  but  some five or six years ago  there werent that many movies and the trend didnt look that depressing  so  the people who  like the author of this review  grew up watching flintstones  popular 1960s animated series about  modern stone age  family  werent particularly worried when the word came about live action remake  after all  the producer behind the project was steven spielberg and  if anything else  at least the special effects would be good  the plot revolves about flintstones  family set in fictious stone age  town  of bedrock  whose members enjoy the lifestyle of 1950s middle class america  fred flinstone  john goodman  works in the quarry  and one day he helps his best friend and neighbour barney rubble  rick moranis  and his wife betty  rosie odonnell  to adopt a baby  to return the favour  barney switches his results of aptitude test with fred  and  based on that  fred gets wellpaid job in management  but  of course  this is just a sham  corrupt official cliff vandercave  kyle maclachlan  and his sultry secretary sharon stone  halle berry  need a scapegoat for their embezzlement scheme  in the meantime  freds wife wilma  elizabeth perkins  must face her mother  elizabeth taylor  who cant stand fred  on the superficial level  the flintstones did the excellent job in bringing the animated series to life  computer effects are flawless  and the costumes  settings and other details are authentic for all the fans of the show  unfortunately  problems with this film start with inadequate casting  rick moranis is too thin for the role of barney  while the cartoon betty used to be much skinnier than rosie odonnell  but the greatest problem of all is plot  or to be precise  the lack of plot  some thirty six screenwriters made sure that the plot of the film is lame  original characters onedimensional  and many elements of the story  like embezzlement and interoffice politics  totally incomprehensible for the little children  the main targeted audience of this film  result is almost unwatchable mess  occasionally saved mostly by excellent acting  elizabeth perkins was right on mark as wilma  and one of the classic example of mortal hollywood disease known as  high concept   after great hype  movie quickly sank into oblivion and the fans of the show returned to the animated version  all in all  film isnt that bad  but only the hard core fans and nostalgics can find more than guilty pleasure in it  
neg	after 1993s  falling down   i hoped that joel schumacher would mature into a great director  since then he has offered us two soso adaptations of john grisham novels   the client  and  a time to kill   and two batman movies that lowered the standards of that franchise  although these disappointments dampened my enthusiasm for schumachers potential  the publicity for his latest release   8mm   raised new hope  it promised to be something unusual  it wasnt  the plot goes like this  tom welles  nicolas cage  is a private eye who is hired by a wealthy woman  allegorically named mrs  christian  myra carter   to investigate an 8mm movie found among her late husbands belongings  the movie appears to be a snuff film in which a teenage girl is raped and murdered by a man in a leather mask  who reminds me of bane in schumachers  batman  robin    because murders can be realistically simulated in movies  mrs  christian wants tom to discover if the girl is alive or dead  by combing through missing persons reports  tom finds the girls name and tracks her to los angeles  with the aid of max california  joaquin phoenix   a video store clerk  and another symbolic name   tom wanders through the underworld of pornography in search of snuff  the plot bears an obvious resemblance to paul schraders  hardcore   in which a father goes deeper and deeper into the industries of porn and sex to find his missing daughter  both films are modeled on dantes  the inferno   of course   8mm  makes that connection overly obvious by casting max as virgil and having him constantly tell tom that they were heading toward a meeting with the devil   hardcore  is a much more subtle and meaningful film   8mm  had a lot of promise  in its better moments its an examination of violence as entertainment and of the beast within even a nice guy like tom  one moment of the first sort  when we first meet max hes reading truman capotes  in cold blood  underneath the cover of a porn novel   in cold blood  was the father of the truecrime genre  which is the literary equivalent of snuff films  max promises that we will see examples of the second theme when he tells tom   dance with the devil and the devil dont change  the devil changes you   tom does changeill let you discover the specifics for yourselfbut not permanently  schumacher and screenwriter andrew kevin walker didnt have the guts to take tom so far down the dark tunnel that he couldnt come back   walkers  seven  did a much better job on that theme by refusing to compromise   cage tries hard to pull it off  but the script doesnt give him enough to work with  phoenix walks away with the moviehes smart  charming  and funny  other cast members include  fargo  s peter stormare camping it up as porn auteur dino velvet and  the sopranos  s james gandolfini as a soulless porn merchant who pushes tom too far  in the last analysis  since  8mm  falls short of its pretensions and its promise  its just another private eye story in the raymond chandlerross macdonald tradition of having the detective uncover the depravity behind the glossy facade of wealth and privilege  however  unlike other predictable fare in the genrelast years  twilight   for example  8mm  is especially disappointing because it could have been much more than it is  
neg	i think of i know what you did last summer as the movie that scream and scream 2 could have been  mind you  though  i mean this in the worst possible way  i know what you did last summer is a typical slasher flic without the smarts of the screams  as a result  its even worse than some of your better campy horror pictures  see nightmare on elm street  because it thinks its about thirty times smarter than it is  based on a teen book of the same name and  disappointingly  adapted by scream scribe kevin williamson  i know what you did last summer begins with appropriately angsty modern rock music combined with some startling cinematography of a cliff along the ocean and an angsty sort sitting at the top  the appropriate mood being set  this is angsthorror for the 90s   we cut over to the july 4th parade in a small north carolina town  from there  we see the blond  female protagonist  helen shivers  woodenly played by sarah michelle geller   getting crowned croaker queen as the blond male  hero   barry cox  woodenly played by ryan phillipe   and matched brunette pair of protagonists  julie james and ray bronson  woodenly played by party of fives jennifer love hewitt and freddie prinze jr   respectively  cheer her on  after getting drunk at a party  going to a beach to wittily discuss urban legend and indulge in some foreshadowing  and having some meaningful sex  if you believe what the characters say   the four run down some guy crossing the windy cliff road at night  his face is mangled so they cant tell who it is  and they come to the decision to dump him in the ocean so as to not ruin any of their future chances for success in the world  cut to one year later  the lives of our protagonists have gone from annoying to bad  main brunette female  the bright one of the bunch  has been plagued with guilt and almost failed out of college  blond female has forfeited her dreams of starring on guiding light  and now works at the family store in town  brunette male is a fisherman  living off the land  blond male has become a complete jerk and quarterback on some college football team  then  predictably  their past comes back to haunt them  it all begins with an irrational murder  followed by some taunting of protagonists by the mysterious killer  bad acting by a good actress  anne heche   an improbable plot  bad acting by the main bad actors  some more killing  concluding in a climactic scene  mostly climactic in the relief at the end of the movie  all the while  the actors and actresses spout off bad lines  and main brunette male does his best keanu reeves imitation  not that the movie was without pleasure  count the illogical plot twists and bad lines for some fun  mostly  though  note the costumes of main females and how trendily unattractive they make the otherwise eyecatching pair look  
neg	 nothing more than a high budget masturbation fantasy  showgirls  nc17   contains graphic nudity  profanity  sexual situations and violence  some people  however  keep their clothes on  you do not watch porn films for their intellectual values  nor do you write reviews on them  thats why this review will be short  it seems that this film will end up in the porn section when it hits the video stores  there is no story  script  point or acting  only naked bodies  which is exactly the point  here is the so called plot  nomi  the 23yearold with a dark past as a hooker  has hitchhiked from somewhere back east to perform in a show where a dancer doesnt wear much more than a light coating of powder and a big  fake smile  no one is twisting nomis arm  no one is holding her grandmother hostage  she wants to do this  and that is what she is doing till the end credits  so whats the problem then  whats the point  whats the film about  is there anyone whose aspirations could inspire less sympathy  this film can be described in one sentence  obscene level of incompetence  excessive stupidity in the story line  gross negligence of the viewers intelligence  a prurient interest in the quick buck  believe me  after an hour with these characters  acting and script  youll start hoping for someone to kill somebody  elizabeth berkley makes a laughable try as the heroine of this film  that is bad even for eszterhas script  her character is the only one that is at least half written and she could really have done better  her character denies the fact that she is a whore for the industry  selling her body to the hungry eyes of the horny public   i am not a whore  i am a dancer   she screams  but does it in such an over dramatized way that youll start laughing  in fact the acting in  showgirls  brings terrible to a new and previously unknown level  not one single achievement  besides the conventional cinematography  is worth mentioning  it is a total waste of time and money  there is not a single moment of what you might call intelligence  the dialogue is structured of ancient stereotypes and cliches lined up one after another  its attempt to even imagine to have half a brain results in a catastrophe   in my films   writes director paul verhoeven  basic instinct  total recall    i hold the mirror up to life   well  excuse me  his attempt to go behind the scenes of las vegas  and as he put it  show the naked truth   is simplified and unreal  occasionally  between his collection of mistakes and logical irrationalities  screenwriter joe eszterhas  the creator of some of the worst screenplays in hollywood history  inserts some lines of deep morality  that sound something like this   hey  i see you  i see that youre hiding    from what     from you   yes  and even the only decent line in this film   nomi is what las vegas is all about  cant save showgirls from going under  its a strange phenomena  its not erotic  because it lacks sensuality  not dramatic  because it lacks the acting  and not intelligent because it lacks a story  it is simply verhovens bad excuse for making pornography  you want to see naked women  bare breasts  full frontals  its nothing wrong with that  but in that case i suggest that you rent a porn film in your local video store  and not waste time surviving through eszterhas pathetic dialogue  b qualities  while its only a high budget pornfilm  
neg	one of the 90s most unwelcome thriller trends returns from the grave  its the   from hell  movie  starting in the early nineties  we were subjected to nearly every conceivable combination of relationshipsfromhell  there were boyfriends from hell  friendly neighborhood cops from hell  nannies from hell  and even secretaries from hell  but hush has found an old standby that somehow was forgotten in the rush  the motherinlaw from hell      the motherinlaw in question is martha  played by jessica lange  she has been singlehandedly running the family horse farm  kilronan  her son  jackson  johnathon schaech  and his girlfriend  helen  gwyneth paltrow   live in new york  and have no intention to move back down south to the rural kilronan  but those intentions are about to change  you see  martha lives by manipulation  she has used it in years past to breed many championship horses  now  she believes she can use it to breed herself a grandson  though at first  helen finds martha charming  soon she is caught in the domineering marthas web of deception  its hard to understand why nobody ever wises up to martha schemes  as written  most of the characters in the film must be very slow witted  but then  the film even treats the audience like idiots  it tries to get away with things  like leaving a critical piece of evidence in a rather unlikely place  without even batting an eye  then again an audience which accepts characters as shallow as these isnt one thats likely to question details  jessica langes martha is the only semideveloped character in the film  and she applies her talents to redeem it as much as she can  a character that could have been simply awful is merely groanworthy  gwyneth paltrow doesnt have much to build upon  as helens only character trait seems to be  daughterinlaw   still  she fares better than johnathon schaech  whose character is so nonexistent  hes inexplicably missing for much of the film  still  there have been much worse   from hell  films  even with its paperthin characters and ludicrous setups  hush manages to create a few thrills in a colorbynumbers fashion  you know whats coming  but occasionally the film will deliver a shock or two  the old formulas are around for a reason  but that doesnt mean they taste fresh  
neg	mugshot  directorwritercinematographereditor  matt mahurin  cast  belinda becker  stella   michael williams  rumor   robert knepper  joechris   robert walker  random   willie lassic  young brother of rumor   maxine joiner  rumors mother   runtime  87  mortal films  1995  reviewed by dennis schwartz a bleak indie film about a stolen identity  theres not much more to this visually stylish film than what meets the eye  as it relies on shock to tell its story of a prolonged vicious mugging  it falls into the category of being a pretentious arthouse film  leaving a bitter taste in ones mouth as it stereotypes its characters and unintentionally further inflames the racial issues  it tries to make a heavyhanded point about disenfranchised black youths trapped by their environment  with their only way out being crime  but the story is so filled with violence and its nyc setting looks like hell  that its hard to enjoy this film and to follow what the logic in the story is supposed to mean  the relationship between the black mugger and his white victim is a cloudy one  which the film never determines what it wants to say about it  matt mahurin is virtual oneman crew in putting this film together  directorwriter cinematographereditor   who is a still photographer in his day job  the film works best as a visually challenging piece  as each shot looks like a photograph carefully telling the story unfolding  a white photographer  robert knepper  is mugged by a black gang while hes on a freelance assignment to take a photo shoot of harlem at night  he becomes a victim of amnesia and his head is bloodied as hes left in a deserted harlem building  as the gang leaves him for dead  but  one of the muggers  rumor  michael williams   comes back and pretends to help him  hes a wouldbe photographer  who keeps a scrapbook entitled mugshots in the project apartment he shares with his mother and younger brother  keeping his victim in the dark about who he is by calling him joe and not telling him whats happening  he becomes the photographer for a few days  he enters the photographers stylish greenwich village apartment and steals his expensive camera  and decides to hold the mugging vic for ransom when he finds out he has a black girlfriend  stella  belinda becker   shes the only one in the film who could act  the film is stuck with a clumsy dialogue and an overuse of symbolism  as it ends with nothing more to tell after the shock and the violent situation it created except to beat it into the ground  it could only be commended for how appealing the film looks  as if its a scrapbook of still photos put together to celebrate a mugging  
neg	i can imagine how good krippendorfs tribe must have looked on paper  it does not surprise me in the least that a group of extremely talented actors  led by the great richard dreyfuss and a good director  todd holland   all wanted to make this film  in fact  it is only the expertise by which this excruciatingly bad script has been executed that keeps me from suggesting that you stay as far away from krippendorfs tribe as possible  in retrospect  i can imagine how bad this film could have been  i shudder at the possibilities of awfulness had it starred an actor less able than dreyfuss  dreyfuss plays james krippendorf  an anthropologist who is granted 100  000 by his university to find an undiscovered tribe in new guinea  halfway into his twoyear expedition  his wife  apparently  dies  i say apparently because when or how she dies is never truly established  later  we find out that much of the grant money was spent on bigscreen tvs and other such pleasures  so  when krippendorf finds out what happens to professors who do not use their grant money wisely  he decides to construct an elaborate lie  he makes his own tribe  using his three children as actors in a video  he simply makes up certain incredible facts about this tribe  which he calls the shelmickedmu   audiences at krippendorfs lectures are amazed by his findings that the shelmickedmu practice circumcision  and proof that the typical family unit is led by a single father is truly amazing to the anthropological community  like all films like this  the lie becomes more and more complex  and the suspense is generated with us wondering at what point it is all going to fall out from under our hero  dreyfuss is a funny  talented man  and he is funny in this film  he has lots of positive energy and  unlike most comical actors  really manages to play people like this realistically  this film also requires a lot of physical humor that ive never seen dreyfuss perform  and he does a great job  jenna elfman  who plays veronica mecilli  a scientist who wants in on krippendorfs work  is also very funny and appealing here  and the kid actors are great  as well  but were talking about the script from hell  this is one of those stories that requires such extreme suspension of disbelief that they might as well have established that the story just takes place in an alternate universe where things like this can happen  but the ridiculousness of the story is not really what is so bad about it  all the cliches and the irritating plot devices could have easily been overcome by dreyfuss and crew  no  the script is plagued with so many clueless stereotypes and meanspirited characters that i was in disbelief as i watched  furthermore  the manor in which all of this material is covered up is truly shameless  take  for instance  the scene in which krippendorf gets veronica drunk so he can tape them having sex  they get all decked out in the tribe getup  complete with paint to darken their skin  krippendorf does this because he needs footage of the mating rituals of his tribe  now  i saw this scene coming from a mile away  but i said to myself   no  that would be far too tasteless  theres no way theyll do that    oh god   they did do it  its there  i was almost more appalled by the fact that this didnt bother the other audience members with whom i saw this film  i found it deplorable  and when krippendorf is forced to admit that he did it  he simply apologizes without the slightest hint of conviction in his voice  the film is filled with scenes like these  they not only insult the audience  but they insult the types of people that the film portrays  it would take some truly professional work to create videos convincing enough to fool an entire community of scientists  yet krippendorf does it easily in an afternoon  and watching dreyfuss stumble over a completely unprepared speech is funny and entertaining  but i think that most members of the onscreen audience would be able to see that he is making everything up as he goes  if i were an anthropologist  this film would insult me immensely  moving right along  the film plays off every stereotype our culture has ever learned regarding african tribes  sure  dreyfuss dressing up like a chief is really funny  and it allows for some entertaining scenes  but the heart of this material is deeply clueless as to the themes and thoughts that it provokes  it is because of dreyfuss as an actor that i was able to watch this film  his character here is not a good subject for a film because he is a shameless liar  and never once does he show any kind of penance for what he does  i suppose it was interesting to see the formula defied in this case  but for the purposes of good taste  i would have expected something  no  this man sets a terrible example for his kids and colleagues  and the writer of the film  charlie peters  didnt include a single scene in which krippendorf takes his kids aside and tells them that what he is doing is very bad  in fact  its his eldest daughter that frequently tells him that he is doing the wrong thing  and he continually shrugs off her warnings  i suppose its important to admit that this is a funny film  dreyfuss and elfman  and many of the contrived and insulting scenes  add up to a picture that is anything but boring  and if youre less serious than i  you probably will enjoy it  i  however  cant get past these elements  krippendorfs tribe is being marketed as a family comedy  but this is the kind of film that teaches the kids of our society faulty lessons that they shouldnt be learning  with a little more insight into its story and themes  this could have been a good movie  
neg	after a marketing windup of striking visuals and the promise of star caliber actors  mission to mars ends up throwing a whiffleball  fiercely unoriginal  director depalma cobbles together a film by borrowing heavily from what has gone before him  there are aliens similar to those in close encounters of the third kind  the stranded astronaut theme is reminiscent of robinson crusoe on mars  the astronauts encounter space flight difficulties that smack of apollo 13  interior spacecraft visuals are redolent of 2001  a space odyssey  instead of using these components as a launching pad to create his own movie  de palma stops right there  refusing to infuse the film with anything even remotely resembling cleverness or heart  mission to mars takes its first wobbly steps at a prelaunch barbeque in which the perfunctory character introductions are done  during these surface scans of the characters  we learn that jim mcconnell  sinise  has lost his wife  its a plot point revisted throughout the film with jackhammer subtlety  the rest of the crew exhibit a bland affability  there is no contentiousness  no friction to add the the dramatic tension of these men and women being confined to close quarters for an extended length of time  maybe depalma was going for the comraderie of the right stuff  but in that movie  the astronauts had embers of personality to warm us through the technical aspects  its the year 2020 and this is nasas first manned excursion to the red planet  a crew  led by luke graham  cheadle   arrives on mars and quickly discovers an anomaly  which they investigate with tragic results  graham is able to transmit a garbled distress call back to earth  in response  earth sends a rescue team comprised of mcconnell  woody blake  robbins   wife terri fisher  nielsen  and phil ohlmyer  oconnell   obstacles are put in the crews way and and they matterof factly go about solving them  i should say  mcconnell goes about solving them  time and again  mcconnell is presented as some kind of wunderkind  which wouldnt be so bad if the rest of the crew didnt come across as so aggressivelly unremarkable   mention should be made of the misogynistic handling of fisher in a situation where the entire crews mission and life is in mortal danger  on a team of professionals  she is portrayed as an emotion directed weak link  women serve no purpose in the movie other than to serve as a reflection of a male characters personality trait   by the time they land on mars and try to solve the mystery of what occurred  mission to mars starts laying on the cliches and stilted dialogue with a heavy brush  there is an adage in film to  show  dont tell   mission to mars does both  repeatedly  characters obsessively explain the obvious  explain their actions as they are doing them  explain to fellow astronauts facts which should be fundamental knowledge to them  the films conclusion is momumentally derivative  anticlimatic and unsatisying  as i walked out i wondered who the target audience might be for this film  the best i could come up with is preteen age boys  but in this media saturated era  this films components would have been old hat even for them  i have to think what attracted such talent to this film was the lure of making a good  modern day bmovie  the key to such a venture is a certain depth and sincerity towards the material  i felt no such earnestness  
neg	some movies ask you to leave your brain at the door  some movies ask you to believe in the impossible to really have a good time  playing god asks just one simple  eensy  teensy thing so it can fully entertain you  its accomplished in just four easy to follow steps  crack open your skull  scoop out your brain  squish it under your foot several times and reverse steps two and one  congratulations  you now have all the necessary requirements to fully enjoy a whole lot of nothing  some movies fail at the box office but you manage to see why the producers thought it could have been a good movie  others are simply good ideas that are badly executed  then theres playing god  which enters the esteemed category of movies which seem to have grown from the union of a drunk director  actors satisfied in the knowledge that this horrible flick will have no lasting impact on their careers and a bunch of ripoffs  or homages as they like to call it  from other  better movies that end up looking like an unflushed toilet  harsh  maybe  justified  hell yes  this is a movie that is not just satisfied in ripping off other movies but feels the need to remind us of that fact every ten minutes  for example  a gunman bursts into a garden with the two guns in his hands firing away  this does look moderately kool  but the camera lingers on the actor for so long you can almost hear the director yelling   oooh  look look  john woo  two guns blazing  slooooow motion   and if that wasnt enough  you can also hear the script grunting under the effort it must take to try and make every single line of dialogue sound like something deep and meaningful like in a tarantino movie  poor timothy hutton gets to deliver most of the corny lines  you have to admire the effort he puts into it  this guy deserves better  unlike most movies this one does not suffer from  stupid bad guy  syndrome  just to make things a little different this time we get stupid heroes  example  duchovny manages to distract a bad guy by making him go into the bathroom to get some bandages  now the bad guy is  like  stoned  man  so he leaves his shotgun next to our hero   term used as loosely as possible  survival instincts and a good dose of common sense seems to suggest grabbing the shotgun  which our hero does  but only after contemplating it for about thirty seconds  even when he does grab it he seems unsure how to hold it  going so far as to actually wonder if he should place a finger near the trigger  mind you  ive never fired a shotgun in my life but believe you me that the bad guy would be missing most of his vital organs  be he stoned or not  some will argue that our hero does not have a killer instinct  the hell with that  two fbi guys have just been shot in front me  along with one bad guy and the other looks like he might go ballistic at any second  solution  boom  ill take the time to feel sorry about it later thank you very much  another prime example of the idiot hero syndrome  our boy duchovny needs to reach his girl before something bad happens to her  he knows the head bad guy has her on the tenth floor of a building and that he might be running into a room full of people with itchy trigger fingers  he still has his shotgun  bring it along you say  no thanks  ill just ditch it in the back of my car  and the real kicker is this  when he reaches the room and people start shooting at him he has the nerve to look surprised  while we are on the subject of getting shot  why in hades were those fbi guys sitting with their backs to the door  ive got no formal training but even i know you never sit with your back to the door  ask mr  wild bill  the first and only time he did not sit with his back to a wall cost him his life  this is the major problem with this movie  any mook could have thought of a hundred ways to make it better  is it so much to ask that hollywood actually put a little common sense into their characters  for instance  our heroes hide at duchovnys summer home  now the bad guys could come knocking at any moment  ok  this time our hero does get himself a gun and has it at his side most of the time  but see  our hero is a drug addict and guess what  he chooses now to go clean and suffer through dt  oh sure  hell be really impressive when the bad guys come calling  going clean is really honorable of him  but i would have waited until i did not need to be conscious or being able to fire a gun  for an enjoyable performance by timothy hutton  plot holes the size of godzilla  getting our intelligence insulted and several  oh come on   moments  
neg	preposterous religious action film  produced by the trinity broadcasting network  about a code hidden within the text of the bible that when deciphered will lead to the end of the world  nice of those bible authors to put a doomsday code into the most read book ever eh    michael york plays a millionaire diplomat who breaks the code and sets out to become god on earth and fulfill the doomsday prophecies  while casper van dien  terribly miscast and giving an awful performance as a result  plays the atheist motivational speaker who must stop him  michael ironside  great as always  despite the silly film surrounding him  plays a fallen priest and right hand man to michael yorks character  heres some subtle character development you may have missed pertaining to ironsides character  now despite the fact that we see him murder a man in the opening scene  the filmmakers arent quite sure if their audience will understand that he is evil  how do they fix that  make specific efforts to show that his character is the only one in the film who smokes  there are lots of ominous shots of michael ironside smoking    oooooo scary  but even that wasnt enough for the filmmakers apparently  as they later have to infer that ironsides character is gay  it comes out of nowhere and just makes no sense  my main problem with this film is that  despite the silly story  which could have been pulled off    anything can be made believable if executed correctly   the events of the film arent shown with any sense of urgency or importance  for example  at one point yorks character is declared chancellor of the world or something  and we see one brief  cheesy news report about it  the movie keeps telling us that the apocalypse is coming  but it never seems that way  theres no  world reaction  to anything  the omega code is available on dvd from goodtimes home video  it contains the film in the original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  85  1  and includes the original theatrical trailer  a documentary on the making of the film  production notes  and cast and crew information  the documentary runs about 25 minutes and is actually surprisingly good  it looks as though it was made for broadcast on tbn   and it does a comprehensive job of interviewing practically everyone in the cast and crew  with the exception of michael ironside  unfortunately   the best thing about it is that whenever crew members are interviewed  they do an excellent job of explaining their profession and exactly what it is they do on a movie set  most documentaries tend to overlook this  doomsday expert hal lindsey is even interviewed  youll remember his documentary from the 1970s called the late great planet earth  where lindsey speculated that jimmy carter might actually be the antichrist   however  at the very beginning of the documentary the producers of the film managed to get on my bad side  when interviewed they actually have the nerve to say  ever see raiders of the lost ark  well  our film is like that   no it isnt  not by a long shot  pg13 
neg	 americas sweethearts  has an intriguing premise and a great cast  but it isnt nearly as edgy or funny as it should be  almost all the problems with the project can be traced back to coscript writer billy crystal  who shows the same lack of discipline with the screenplay that he typically displays while cohosting  comic relief  charity shows with robin williams and whoopi goldberg  two other paragons of selfindulgence   crystal ignores a simple  but crucial  rule  for a screwball comedy to work  the characters must be placed into a rigid social setting  because only in that context will their unorthodox antics be humorous   americas sweethearts  takes place at a press junket  where decorum must be maintained in front of the reporters  its a promising setup  but the screenplay quickly blows off the rules  thus dissipating the tension of the situation  by the end of the film  all the lead performers participate in a huge fight with a room full of journalists looking on  but their outbursts are only mildly amusing because the structure has been destroyed  john cusack and catherine zetajones play eddie thomas and gwen harrison  a beloved acting duo whose marriage hit the skids when gwen began seeing hector  hank azaria   a spanish actor with an ego almost as pronounced as his lisp  of the last nine films eddie and gwen made together  six crossed the 100 million mark  but the prospects for their final effort  a space opus titled  time over time   are far from rosy  while eddie has spent many months in a new age rest clinic fretting over the breakup  gwens solo films have tanked  to make matter worse  the director of the movie  christopher walken   a  visionary  who purchased the unabombers cabin and had it moved to his backyard  is withholding the film from the studio  insisting that the first screening be held at the junket  desperate to win over the press  the studio elects to hire lee  billy crystal   a recently fired publicist  to salvage the situation  lee hopes to turn lemons into lemonade by convincing eddie and gwen to pretend to be on the road to reconciliation  he enlists the help of kiki  julia roberts   gwens sister  personal assistant and whipping girl  what lee doesnt know is that kiki is in love with eddie  a fact that could temper her effectiveness  press junkets are a haven for control freaks  studios fly journalists in from around the world and put them up in a plush hotel  with food and drink always at hand  generally  on the evening of their arrival  writers are bussed to see the featured film  then ferreted straight back to the hotel  the next day  writers go to the studio suites and assemble in groups of five or six for roundtable interviews  every 30 minutes or so  a producer  director  writer or actor is brought into the room for a few minutes of questions  with a publicist hovering in the corner to keep an eye on things  the atmosphere is one of cordial oppression  writers are free to ask what they want  but understand that if the studio dislikes a question  they may not be invited to future junkets  representatives from tv stations face even more restrictions  they get roughly five minutes to interview each member of the cast and crew  with the studio filming the exchanges  the  reporters  are notorious for tossing softball questions as they suck up to the stars  but to play it safe  the studios stand ready to erase the tapes if anything unpleasant occurs  placing two spoiled actors in a setting where image is everything is inspired  but the screenplay undermines the conceit  the junket is moved from the handsome  but highly confining  four seasons hotel to a plush resort near las vegas  for most of the film  the movie stars run around the sprawling grounds  completely safe from the eyes of the press  when they do deal with journalists  the  it is imperative that you be on your best behavior in front of the reporters  premise is declawed  gwen and eddie insult each other while the tv cameras roll  they scream at each other in a restaurant filled with the media and  at the screening of the movie  everyone connected with the film goes nuts  all without any repercussions  lee certainly isnt bothered by any of the infantile outbursts  in fact  he makes arrangements for footage of even more inappropriate behavior to be delivered to the tabloids  is the studio angry about his handling of the combative actors  hell no  they feel lee is a genius for garnering so much publicity for the movie  all of which underscores how billy crystal and cowriter peter tolan screwed up their own premise  the comedy in  americas sweethearts  is based on barelyincontrol people trying to contain themselves in the presence of reporters  except that it doesnt matter because any publicity is good publicity  and thus the very setup for the film implodes  leaving smoke and dust in place of laughter  so what about the cast  julia roberts  at her best playing the underdog  is utterly charming here  although i could have lived without flashbacks that exist solely as an excuse to show her in a fat suit  and not a very convincing one  by the way   catherine zetajones makes a believable brat and john cusack fleshes out his obsessed character enough to make him vaguely sympathetic  by casting himself as the publicist  billy crystal allows himself to do roughly the same thing he does on  comic relief   stay on the sidelines of the action while tossing off cornball jokes and snarky remarks  in supporting roles  hank azaria wears out his welcome fast with broad gestures and a spanish accent that speedy gonzales would have deemed  too broad   seth green is amusing as a toadie  stanley tucci is very good as a ruthless studio head and christopher walken plays the eccentric director with suitable flair  though he has little to work with  come to think of it   little to work with  is the operative phrase for this movie  as a hollywood satire   americas sweethearts  is toothless  as a romance  it is at best a minor pleasure  such a good cast  such a waste of their efforts  had it not been taken long ago  a better title for the film would have been  much ado about nothing   
neg	do the folks at disney have no common decency  they have resurrected yet another cartoon and turned it into a live action hodgepodge of expensive special effects  embarrassing writing and kidfriendly slapstick  wasnt mr  magoo enough  people  obviously not  inspector gadget is not what i would call ideal family entertainment  younger viewers will likely be taken in by the abounding goofiness  but their adult companions may feel a wave of nausea sweeping over them as they attempt to endure this appalling 80minute exercise in glaring stupidity  the movie is poorly edited  grossly manipulative  and the finished product resembles somewhat of a failed jigsaw puzzle  all the elements are there  but the manner in which director david kellogg pieces them together is laughable and trite  as a huge fan of the 80s animated tv show  the first thing i must express is my anger toward the treatment of the main villain  in the cartoon  dr  claw was a frightening  raspyvoiced presence who remained a total mystery to the viewer  we never saw his face  he simply sat back in his armchair  watching surveillance cameras and gently stroking his loyal cat  as a child  i always imagined what dr  claw would appear as  and this curiosity kept me watching for many years  with the release of the liveaction movie  the face of this once intriguing villain has been unrightfully exposed  its    rupert everett   only now  dr  claw is simply known as claw  one word   he explains  like madonna   he sports a shiny clamp instead of the steel glove  and seems far less interesting than the animated version  it helps that the dashing everett is enthusiastic  but he overplays the role entirely too far  when all is said and done  this wasnt a very wise move on the part of the screenwriters  the infamous dr  claw has been turned into a wisecracking game show host who makes cheap attempts at being suave and cool  he does still have his cat  though  in the title role  matthew broderick looks lost  the actor  while usually downright charming  doesnt know exactly where to take his character  a fault that again can be blamed on the hapless writers  broderick first plays a friendly  naive security guard named john brown  who dreams of becoming a cop and upholding the law for the good of the people  he has a mad crush on pretty scientist brenda  joely fisher   who has stumbled upon a new wave of technology involving the interaction of human tissue and electronics  but one fateful night  her lab is destroyed and her experiment is stolen by a fiendish millionaire  everett  who wants to take over the world  john courageously pursues the limousine from the scene of the crime  but loses the chase when his vehicle bursts into flames  in a full body cast  he is chosen to be the first human prototype for brendas work  a revolutionary crime fighting tool with numerous fancy gadgets to dispatch bad guys  and so is born inspector gadget  as bad as this movie is  it does have a certain charm in isolated scenes  broderick actually fares better playing robo gadget  an evil and destructive clone that claw has set loose on the city  and there are about two or three amusing punch lines  the funniest being when robo gadget impersonates a rampaging monster with shadow puppets on a brick wall  and a japanese man flees the scene while screaming  this is why i left tokyo   alas  the hit ratio of the ongoing gags is about 20 to 1 in favor of not even cracking a slight giggle  there are so many tired plot additions  gadgets talking car  voiced by d  l  hughley  is the same type of character as zoot the suit from my favorite martian  both are wisecracking  nonhuman additions designed to coax laughter from smaller children  well  it just doesnt work  in fact  zoot functioned marvelously in comparison to this   and dont even get me started about the villains  i didnt mind everetts performance  but his bumbling assistants will make every adult cringe with disgust  the characters from the cartoon have been reduced to thankless supporting roles  penny  michelle trachtenberg  and brain the dog now have little to do with the action  and chief quimby  dabney coleman  has lost considerable appeal in the transition of animation to live action  the special effects are everywhere  but not so annoying they will cause your eyes to peel over  the problem here lies solely in the script  perhaps the next time disney attempts a remake like this  they will invest more in the screenplay than the fancyschmancy visuals  here is one critic crossing his fingers  anyway  
neg	if you havent plunked down your hardearned money yet for  wild wild west   the latest summer holiday offering from will smith  let me say right now that your money will be better spent on a starbucks frappacino or on a ben  jerrys sundae  these treats are great relief from the summer heat  in contrast  this film made me simmer in disappointment  i can accept the fact that summer movies tend to put more weight into special effects and that good stories and flavorful characters usually take a back seat  this was true of star wars episode i  but at least in that film  the story and the characters were still in the back seat  in this film  they are no where to be found  what remains are hundreds of male extras costumed as gunslingers and foppish aristocrats  lots of female extras who look like cancan dancers  and a clunky  80foot tall instrument of destruction that resembles a mechanical tarantula  two men are asked to stop this threat  one is artemus gordon  kevin kline   an inventor who uses his intellect and array of disguises to best his opponents  among his creations are false breasts and the bulletproof vest  the other man is jim west  will smith   who prefers the shootfirstthenshootsomemore method of investigating  although their individual talents must be combined to achieve success  their interaction with one another merely seemed like a second rate  twoman vaudevillian act  for example  there is a scene where west  being more debonair than the reserved gordon  notes that the fake breasts should be filled with water rather than buckwheat  which is what it is currently filled with   now touch my breast   west says  gordon does so and then softly coos his approval  i found myself groaning at this kind of silliness  the script fails to generate any sense of drama  humor  or fun for that matter  i did enjoy klines reserved performance  but was surprised at how much latitude they gave to smith  could it be that will smith is just so bankable that hes not even required to act  it was as if the director was yelling  will smith  do your own thing    and action   heres an example  in this scene  will smith is about to be hanged by a group of angry white people  he must endear himself to the crowd to escape  the director yells   will smith  do your own thing    and action   in another scene  he has to masquerade as a belly dancer in order to save his comrades   will smith  do your own thing    and action   worse still  the final battle scene aboard the mechanical tarantula is a horrid mess  there are cogs spinning and pulleys pulling and levers going up and down everywhere you look  theres actually a lot of imagination at work in this film  there are some genuinely clever inventions and gizmos introduced  but all of this imagination is wasted in a film that is visually cluttered and dramatically flat  and thats too bad because if there was more focus on the story rather than will smith just doing his thing   this film might have been palatable  as it turns out   wild wild west  is the wild  wild worst and receives my vote for biggest disappointment of the year  
neg	synopsis  two con artists find the perfect patsy in harry  woody harrelson    an inept former journalist who trips and bumps his head into a post  tries to slap a girl and gets poked in the eye  has illtimed fits of coughing  and fails at everything he does  the story is told from harrys point of view  harry always carries around a shot of whiskey although he swears he doesnt drink  one day harry is approached by the con girl rhea  elisabeth shue   who is similar to harry in that she carries around a cigarette but swears she doesnt smoke  seduced  harry agrees to participate in a moneymaking scheme involving faking the kidnapping of odette  chloe sevigny   the teenage daughter of a rich man  turns out  its all part of a needless  very puzzling  extremely elaborate and convoluted scheme  it involves hiring special impersonators  by two cons in order to fool harry  a hero who barely has the intellectual capacity of a wooden post  when the kidnapped odette is found dead  the clues point to harry as the kidnappermurderer  and the police are hot on harrys trail  harry suddenly realizes he has been framed while others have taken the ransom money  can he get out of this mess  opinion  palmetto is a long  uninteresting film with all the wrong feel  hero harry is an inept bungler who trips up often and consistently overestimates his own intelligence  this farcical kind of character works best in an entertaining naked gun action comedy or dragnet spoof  but palmetto is played like a dark  serious  detective noir drama  and watching harrys bumbling confidence amounts to an irritating distraction  theres a lapse in concentration in the middle of the movie as the camera goes wild on breasts  buttocks  short skirts  colored painted nails  and womens legs  even when the focus is supposedly on harry and his dilema  you can always notice the side of elizabeth shues breast forming a prominent foreground  towards the end  palmetto refocuses on plot for the grand finale   a confusing explanation involving impersonators  with woody harrelson handcuffed and suspended over a tub of acid as he hears the criminals confession  if you can imagine shemp from the three stooges playing the detective hero of an hbo lingerie suspense thriller  thats how out of synch this movie feels  
neg	starring arnold schwarzenegger  danny devito  emma thompson  frank langella the only thing that you can say about junior is that it is a disappointment  and a big one at that  junior brings together arnold schwarzenegger and danny devito with director ivan reitman  these are the same men that brought us the very funny twins  so foolish me  i was hoping for something that would at least come close to the level of quality of twins  so much for hopes  schwarzenegger and devito play two scientists  doctors hesse and arbogast  who are working on a new drug that will reduce the possibility of miscarriage in pregnancy  unfortunately  due to circumstances beyond their control  they are denied permission to test this new drug on humans  and subsequently lose their funding  still believing that their drug will work  they decide to test it anyway  on hesse  so  dr  hesse  schwarzenegger  artificially inseminates himself and begins taking the drug  their theory is that if the drug can prevent a man from miscarrying  surely it will work on a woman  does the thought of arnold schwarzenegger pregnant sound funny or humorous to you  well  it must have to the producers of junior  admittedly  schwarzenegger has the comedic talent to pull it off  perhaps if it had been done differently it might have actually been funny  but it wasnt  schwarzenegger pregnant is goofy at best  the sight of schwarzenegger running around going through the hormone imbalances that come with pregnancy  and the accompanying emotional swings  is not funny  schwarzenegger comes very close to embarrassing himself with these antics  i kept thinking to myself  with the time arnold wasted making this turkey he could have been making an action picture  better yet  with schwarzenegger  devito and reitman all in the same place at the same time  why didnt they make a sequel to twins  anything would have been better than this mess  danny devito is wasted in this movie  his part could have been played by any joker they pulled in off the street   after seeing the movie  if i was devito  i probably would have wished they had pulled someone in off the street   emma thompson is wasted here as well  while thompson is best known for her jane austin adaptations  she is also a fine comedian  too bad she didnt get to use any of that talent here  am i being too hard on this film  i dont think so  schwarzenegger and devito are two of my favorite actors in film today  and ivan reitman is one of the more talented directors in hollywood  with a supporting cast of emma thompson and frank langella  the filmmakers really have to be trying hard to make a bad film  they certainly managed here  maybe it was well intentioned  but unfortunately this is a movie that never should have been made  if you are tempted to see this film  do yourself a favor and go rent twins  a film that truly takes advantage of arnold schwarzenegger and danny devitos comedic talents  
neg	there are scenes in  the big hit  that are so awful  they simply defy description  the movie is infected with the same kind of blunderheaded idiocy and misplaced confidence that made  last action hero   1993  such a chore to sit through  presumably   the big hit  is an actioncomedy  a difficult but not impossible genre to pull off  movies of this sort require a fine balance and careful tone  and the comedy is usually meant to work as catharsis for the violence   lethal weapon 2   1989  is a perfect example of an action thriller that was also very  very funny  unfortunately  in  the big hit   it seems that comedy is the main motive  and the violence is only intended to punctuate the laughs  unfortunately  there are no laughs  the movie resembles some of the goofy  throwaway ridiculousness of early jackie chan films  but it doesnt benefit from chans incredible stunts and goofy  charismatic presence  instead  we are left with a lot of digital effects and mark wahlberg  who must have considered himself invincible after his criticallyacclaimed performance in last years  boogie nights   however  if he wants to maintain a decent career  he had better start selecting his projects more carefully  movies like this are a surefire recipe for a long career in the straighttovideo market  wahlberg plays melvin smiley  an amiable guy who also happens to be a professional hitman  see  grosse pointe blank  for the same character  much better developed   the movie wants us to think   gee how clever and ironic  a guy who can kill without any moral implications  and yet he cant stand for anyone not to like him   the fact is  melvin is so desperate to keep people from not liking him  that he puts up with both an obnoxious fiancee  christina applegate  with a horrendous new york accent  and an abusive girlfriend  lela rochon  who is only using him for his money  his constant bending over backwards to please people makes him a complete patsy at best  and a thoroughly unbelievable character at worst  melvin is employed exclusively by a crime boss named paris  avery brooks  as part of a team of hitmen  which also includes cisco  lou diamond phillips  and crunch  bokeem woodbine   one day  melvin agrees to do some moonlighting with cisco by kidnapping the teenage daughter of a rich japanese mogul named jiro nishi  sab shimono  for a million dollar ransom  however  not only has jiro nishi lost all his money producing a big hollywood movie  inside joke  get it    but his kidnapped daughter  keiko  china chow   also happens to be paris goddaughter  so  when paris finds out shes been kidnapped  he takes it personally and becomes determined to find out who did it  not knowing the cisco is actually behind the whole scheme  paris puts him in charge of rooting out the kidnapper  of course cisco blames the whole thing on poor  innocent melvin  along the way  there are several obligatory gunfights  explosions  and car chases  plus a literal cliffhanger inspired by  jurassic park   and a completely unconvincing romance between melvin and keiko  who looks like shes barely pushing fifteen   what the movie passes off as humor resorts to thoroughly unfunny jokes about overweight jewish mothers  harakiri  drinking problems  leaking body bags  and a running gag about how crunch has recently discovered the pleasures of masturbation  and now spends all his time doing hand exercises  not to mention the pimply video store clerk who is always calling melvin and screeching about how he needs to return his copy of  king kong lives   which is two weeks overdue  this mess of a movie was helmed by chekirk wong  the latest hong kong director imported by john woo   faceoff    who also served as executive producer  woo needs to stop acting as a conduit for other directors  and start making more of his own films  wong  who directed such films as  rocknroll cop  back in hong kong  is completely tone deaf when it comes to comedy  maybe jokes about vexatious video clerks and vomiting on other people are funny across the ocean  but theyre not here  at least in the manner wong handles them  many of the problems can be traced back to the script  which was penned by obvious freshman writer ben ramsey  in addition to his vague characterizations and uninspired action sequences  ramseys script assaults the audience with his attempts to copy the vulgar  poetic rhythms of tarantino or mametstyle dialogue  what he comes out with is just a lot of annoying blather  most of which spews from the lips of lou diamond phillips  whose favorite phrase is  its all love   and robin dunne  who plays ciscos stuttering  blackwannabe assistant  the irritation factor of phillips and dunne combined is almost off the scale  which can pretty much describe the film as a whole  
neg	well i guess its that time of the year again  the one time of the year where movie craftors are exonerated from the need to even  try  writing a script that has more dialogue than explosions  its also the best time for the handful of existing bigtime hollywood mr action heroes to dust off their miniscule vocabularies  pull on their black vests and charge onto our screens tersely expirating what they hope will become memorable catchphrases  in america they call this time  summer  and it happens once every year  and maybe its the exposure to all that nasty sun that does it  but in the process normally weak  insipid lines like  consider this a divorce    hasta la vista  baby   and  youre the disease  im the cure  actually do end up being repeated more often then the phrases from my book of biblical proverbs  this is not entirely a bad thing  of course  what am i talking about  im talking about the summer  blockbusters   the  action thrillers   the  thisobviouslycostalotsoyouknow everyonesgoingtogo  explosions  gas threats  flying saucers  and special effects  in the rash of  my  what big guns you have  but wait  mine are bigger  movies  there are also the usual boymeetsfishandsavesenvironment movies  or whale  whatever   and  this  year  the odd crop of  savetheworldfromaliensorenvironment threats  offerings  im talking about the three batmans  the speeds  the terminators  etc  this year im talking about twister  independence day  the arrival  the rock  mission  impossible  and of course  eraser  here in singapore  as our local movie critics like to whine  we seem to get the pick of the crop of  my explosion is more reallooking than yours  movies  but nothing else  mission  impossible opened in our theatres almost as soon as it did in the us  the same goes for eraser  which is unfortunate for arnold schwarzenegger because coming so soon after what time magazine recently called  mission  unavoidable   on account of its worldwide megaadvertising blitz   eraser seems like a cheaper  less thoughtful imitation  thats saying a lot  because mi the movie was already a cheap  thoughtless imitation of its tv originator of the 60s70s  in eraser  arnie is a us federal marshall who relocates trial witnesses whose testimonies place their lives in danger  he does this by destroying all evidence of their present existence and resituating them with new identities  his new case is lee cullen  played by vanessa williams who  unlike all the other scumbags hes ever relocated  is  an actual  real life honest person   because shes so good  and has such nice legs  arnold spends the whole movie trying to protect her  and only uses the opening movie sequence to save robert pastorelli from  his  killers  lee obtains evidence that the hightechnology weapons company she works for is secretly selling sophisticated  blackmarket arms to people with foreign accents and stringy hair  of course  as the formula goes  her revealing this information will destroy the system as we know it because heck  there are people in high places who will go down with this  because yes  this is the biggest conspiracy in the history of the world  that is  america  since watergate  in protecting lee  arnold is framed by the mentorturnedevil robert deguerin  nicely played by james caan  and ends up having to prove that he isnt the one killing the programmes witnesses in addition to making sure lee isnt accidentally torpedoed to death by the new  green guns his enemies all have  its around this time that people in the theatre with me starting humming the mission  impossible theme  because arnies mission includes breaking into a highsecurity building to run a disk  i guess i should tell you more about the particular gun everyone in this movie is so antsy about  its an electromagnetic pulse gun thing which fires aluminium missiles  and which can see through walls  it has some sort of xray vision  so its user can target the victims heart even from great distances  despite this  which i figure is a pretty cool feature in a gun  though im certainly no expert   however  arnold  whose own heart is targeted a number of times   never  goes flying 10 feet backwards with a twofoot missile through his chest like all the others who get shot by this gun  instead he outruns and outsmarts his trackers each time  giving eery and ironic resonance to that terminator line that practically made him famous   ill be back   like everyone else in the theater  i left the movie feeling that the trailers had duped me  because they made me want to watch this movie voluntarily  although there is a  lot  of violence in this movie  not to mention mutilation and some bloody tussles with alligators  i recommend this movie to most over18s who need some therapeutic mindless action to get over the weirdness of fargo or the hangover effect of leaving las vegas  reviews rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	the rapidfire formula that worked so well in airplane   the  police squad   television series  top secret   three naked gun films  and two hot shots  movies has finally reached a desperate deadend with spy hard  even ezio gregios the silence of the hams is arguably funnier than this overextended spy and actionmovie spoof  leslie nielsen stars as secret agent wd40  who returns from retirement to battle his old nemesis  general rancor  a cackling andy griffith   the jokes fly in every direction and with hardly a hint of restraint  timing  or tact  most the movie is comprised of recycled airplane and naked gun gags  recreated movie sequences  and soggy star cameos  yeah  maybe we  do  need ray charles driving an l  a  bus bound for a speed bump  but did mr  t  hulk hogan  and dr  joyce brothers also have to appear in the same movie  leslie nielsen plays it straight with his usual dopey flair  there is something oddly inspiring about the sight of nielsen wearing a nuns habit  even the resulting sister act spoof is silly  as are the bits directly lifted from home alone  pulp fiction  true lies  etc  etc   adolescent males might enjoy this mess  tho  the butt shots  breast peeks  penis pokes  flatulence gags  and related innuendo are right up beavis and buttheads alley   beyond the hilarious title sequence with  weird  al yankovich performing the theme song  spy hard is barely the stock that its printed on  my recommendation  duck in while youre waiting for another movie to start  stay long enough to see the camera dart inside of weird als nostril and then leave  you wont miss a thing  
neg	tim burton has now completed his evolution from the brilliant director of macabre stories about outcast individuals yearning for acceptance  and into a studio monkey whose name is used as part of multitiered marketing materials for crap movies  and here he hits rock bottom  with planet of the apes  i didnt expect much from this latest  interpretation  of pierre boulles classic novel planet of the apes  i mean  how could you top the force and impact of the original film  intelligently coscripted by rod serling  of twilight zone fame  combined with the overbearing chuck heston growling and yelling at those  damn dirty apes   in one of his best roles of his career  sadly  i sat down to watch burtons version of planet of the apes and within the first 20 minutes  i was checking my watch and my girlfriend  a big fan of the original film  started to nod off  this time around  the story plays out like a cross between enemy mine  braveheart  and project x  marky mark wahlberg  who was enjoyable in boogie nights and the corrupter  plays leo davidson  a hot shot u  s  air force pilot  leo and his crew are in search of some mysterious magnetic storms  no real explanation given in the film  and leo sends one of his genetically altered  smart  chimps into the storms to collect data  leo and his crew lose communication with the chimp  leo hops in another ship to find the monkey  and then hes thrown through some type of timespace wormhole which crashes lands on the twentieth century fox studio backlot  all mocked up to look like the amazon jungle  leo ends up getting captured by a group of talking apes and is sold to a slave trader named limbo  paul giamatti  who in turn sells leo to a chimpanzee named ari  helena bonham carter   the kind ari then helps leo and his fellow humans escape to the mountains to find leos ship  along the way  monkeys played by tim roth  overacting his role of a vicious general named thade  and michael clarke duncan  who further enhances his career by playing another heavy in a bad action movie  strive out to hunt down leo and his band of human savages  just like battlefield earth  in the end  it all culminates into another braveheart ripoff human versus ape battle scene  while rick bakers makeup work is amazing  the script is a pathetic hodgepodge  courtesy of three writers   the acting is horrible  and the  surprise  ending feels like a swing from a ballpeen hammer into the temple  wahlberg does not have the physical or mental presence of a chuck heston to carry the film or any of its action sequences  this remake  or reinterpretation  as tim burton has proclaimed it  is an insult to the intelligence and wit of the original film  the ethical arguments about the equality of species  fascism  and military buildup have been replaced by tremendous amounts of ridiculous dialogue  an unimaginative narrative structure  and a romance between a monkey and a human  even chuck hestons antigun tirade  in the de rigeur cameo  seems shallow and jokey  but the main element missing from this tim burton film is tim burton  even though his name is plastered across every billboard in america  john badham could have directed this film  even joel schumacher could have directed this film  he probably should have  burtons predominant themes of rejection  isolation  and the search for ones place in the universe  as seen in ed wood  edward scissorshands  and peewees big adventure  are completely absent in this planet  i suppose thats what happen when a great director gets sucked through a wormhole  
neg	the premise of this movie is  well  pretty farfetched  tom berenger plays shale  a mercenary who is temporarily out of work  those fools at the cia have denied his existence just because he and his buddies botched a job in cuba   fortunately  his girl friend  diane venora   a teacher at christopher columbus high school in miami  gets her knee cap broken by a disgruntled student  creating a job opening for shale as a substitute teacher  not telling his girl friend  who might object on pedagogical grounds  he creates a number of fake higher degrees for himself  from yale  harvard  princeton  et al  and begins his tenure as a high school teacher  the students  junkies  drug dealers  gang members  sleazy sluts  icepick wielders    you get the picture  dont really take to him right away  so he hits one in the face with a can and breaks a few fingers  this gets their attention to a certain extent  so he tells them the story of the vietnam war   see  some homeboys from the north tried to muscle in on the turf of the homeboys from the south   oh yeah  now they can dig it  the problem is just that nobody ever explained it properly before  but wait  there are drugs being dealt in the school itself  and behind the whole scheme  in cahoots with the head gang  the kod  no  not  cod   but  knights of destruction     really    is none other than    the upright  excop principal  played by the forgotten ghostbuster  ernie hudson  so shale does what any good teacher would do  he gets his buddies together  they gather together a bunch of bazookas and other major weapons  explosives  and cool stuff like that  and they have a big showdown against the drug dealers and kod at the high school  ok  so the premise is not just farfetched  its downright dumb  if this were a hong kong action comedy  we might just accept it  but it takes itself far too seriously to be truly fun  oh  it has its moments  how one can truly hate a movie in which huge  really huge  amounts of cocaine are delivered in school busses  and to be fair  it is almost never really boring  as the action is interrupted by only short sequences of actual story  but over all  this is pretty much a madefortv movie with more  and bigger  explosions and more foul language  in fact  it reminded me of  miami vice  without the production values  babes in skimpy bikinis  and pastels  if you can sneak into the theater without paying  go for it  otherwise  wait for video  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	chris tucker is one of those guys you immediately get a reaction from  you either find his helium voice  crazy eyes and jerky mannerisms funny or annoying  i think i fall into the former category  im one of the few who thought his turn in  the fifth element  as a prancing  princelike deejay was complete inspired lunacy and not the least bit aggravating   but his new vehicle  money talks  just doesnt do him service  tucker is good in the movie  and this is the kind of film that  if people see it  could make him a big star  but hes also really the only thing good about the movie  in fact  if you see  money talks   it should shock you beyond recognition that two of  toy story  s writers penned the sloppy script  tuckers role here is that of franklin hatchett  a petty los angeles con artist whose carwash scams get him dogged by investigative reporter james russell  charlie sheen   after being busted on the job for some illegal business involving counterfeit passports  franklin finds himself on a bus to the county jail and handcuffed to slick international jewel smuggler raymond villard  gerard ismael   but villards thugs blow up the bus in an attempt to free their leader  never mind that the explosion could have instead killed him   and because he and franklin are joined at the wrist  franklin is allowed to escape as well  but not before overhearing some important information regarding a diamond stash that  for some reason or another  is being hidden in a vintage roadster waiting to be auctioned off at an upcoming auto expo  the local media mistakenly puts the prison breakout blame on franklin  which is where james comes back into the picture  he makes a deal to protect franklin if  in turn  franklin gives him an exclusive interview  this means james must present his new  friend  in the stickiest of situations  a formal dinner party for he and fiancee grace  heather locklear   also attended by her uberrich parents  veronica cartwright and nicely game paul sorvino   and of course the bad guys track franklin down and try to knock him off  all the while he spars and forms an unlikely bond with james   this aint no buddy movie   claim the print ads  yeah  right  actually  for the better part of  oh  20 minutes  it appears  money talks  has the momentum to cover entertaining ground  and this is mostly due to the presence of spastic motormouth tucker  this is tuckers first leading role  and if you imagine a slightly lankier  africanamerican jim carrey with a reliance on wild rrated raunch rather than pg13 physical comedy  you have a good idea of the conviction with which he assaults the role  but you realize all too quickly that tuckers overstated liveliness is the only thing  money talks  has going for it  and a lively actor alone does not a successful movie make  its all too easy to pick out everything wrong with  money talks   the plot is recycled buddybuddy comedythriller tripe that seemed overused even when  nothing to lose  employed it last month  everything is paintbynumbers  especially the los angeles coliseum finale  which finds not one  not two  but three separate enemy factions firing at franklin as they pursue him through the bleachers  the villains  as many as there are  are dull  certain story elements are too coincidental  and too much of the films dramatic agenda is played too straight  a scene where grace confronts james after learning franklins true identity   you brought a killer into my parents house    is extremely silly  you get the picture  obviously  i did not have a pleasant experience at  money talks   but the people around me appeared to be having a riproaring good time  one gentleman several rows behind me chortled with such expressive conviction i began fearing for his health   but tucker  at least for me  is a pretty funny guy  and aces the movies best scene  where franklin passes himself off as vic damones son at james and graces engagement bash and toasts the couple with barry white lyrics  tuckers audience  and he does have one  will probably like  money talks   those who he irritates  however  will have a more productive day staying home and scraping the gook out from under their toenails  
neg	 soldier   by director paul anderson  is a film in which any presence of originality is fleeting  the best moments of the film are in the opning scenes where kurt russels character todd is shown growing up under strict military supervision  brutality through the eyes of the innocent and stripped of it every single day growing up is something that has a lot of emotional potential power behind it  and the opening scenes tap into it a little  then it goes nowhere with that idea  there is perhaps one rather fleeting scene afterwards that deals with the potential trauma of this dehumanization  and the rest of the film is just some of the biggest action movie cliches ive ever seen  the whole idea of the inhuman  soldiertype character gaining some degree of humanity by defending a potential female love interest and family from his evil counterpart out to kill her is done  and its been done much better  i was able to predict the plot of the whole story  which wouldnt be so bad if other aspect of the film somewhat interesting  between the action sequences  it tries to deal with the aforementioned issues of humanity through the performance of mr  russel in the film and the tiny little window to his soul that is his eyes  since his dialog is extremely limited  his performance in that way isnt all that bad  but certainly is not enough to carry this film  other performances in this film are really not worth much mention at all  and they generally are about as weak as their characters  but enough of this stuff about plot and character  right  isnt the most important part of an action film  well  the action  even in this aspect the film is a disappointment  in mortal kombat  1995   director paul anderson proved that truly engaging use and choreography of action in a film can override problems with plot and produce something entertaining  however  he fails to repeat that in this film  the combat scenes  particularly the big one at the end  is incredibly unimaginatve  fighting and combat scenes are supposed to bring about thrills in this type of movie  a point which even an otherwise unimpressive film like starship troopers seemed to realize  but instead of reaching for something truly interesting to end the film with  it goes for the old  shootem up  one guy vs  an army type of cinema that i thought died with the military action films of the 80s  if the film went with some of the ideas it opened up with the introduction more seriously  it could have been a rather engaging science fiction film  however  it utterly failed to go in any new directions after that  making the film a big disappointment  
neg	the first scene of operation condor has jackie chan preparing for a secret mission  he attempts to pop a couple of pieces of chewing gum into his mouth  but misses  after they ricochet off his face  he says   not a good start   as it turns out  this line not only gives foreshadowing to the opening sequence  but to the rest of the movie as well  in this  the latest of the jackie chan movies to be released in america after first runs in hong kong  chan plays an international operative codenamed  condor   and is tasked by the united nations with finding a stash of gold hidden at a secret base by the nazis during their retreat across the saharan desert during the second world war  for some reason  condor is given his mission at the u  s  embassy in spain  i think this may have been done so that in a chase scene  they could honor the time old tradition of knocking over a fruit cart  watch for it in any chase scene set in a foreign country  most notably in europe  the chase will take itself through a marketplace  and a fruit cart will be overturned  its almost a guarantee  anyway     condor is given a key which is supposed to unlock a giant vault in which the gold is hidden  the problem is that the key has insulators integrated into it  which may mean a booby trap might be electronically triggered if the key is used improperly  to help him figure out where the gold is hidden and how to use the key correctly  condor is accompanied by a desert expert  carol cheng  and the granddaughter of the captain who was in charge of hiding the gold  eva cobo   there arent supposed to be any relatives of the nazi captain living in spain  but condor finds the granddaughter by looking her up in the phone book or something  although these two women are supposed to be integral parts of the mission  they prove no help at all except to get in trouble and provide an excuse for chan to jump into his martial arts  in fact  most of the scenes are so ridiculously contrived that it seems everything is just a way to set up a fight  i suppose this isnt so bad  since chans action is really the best part of the movie  and the only reason you go to see one of his films anyway  if youve never seen a jackie chan movie  dont expect a great plot  but do expect to be entertained by his moves  they are so well choreographed and often so amazing that you wonder if this guy is human  knowing that he does his own stunts  and knowing that this is the real stuff  no computermasked bungee cords here  makes the action sequences all the more exciting  youve got to hand it to a guy whos probably broken every bone in his body for the sake of his art  also of note in this  as in any jackie chan movie  is the humor  as far as i know  none of his films take themselves too seriously  and even the dramatic parts have a certain tongueincheek quality about them  what is almost masterful is the way that humor is even integrated into the fight scenes  unlike a martial arts film such as anything with jean claude van damme  where the fights get you on the visceral level  fight scenes in chans movies are simply entertaining  you marvel at both his moves and at the way he employs them in such a way to make you laugh  unfortunately  even chans mastery cant save this film  the plot and characters are so weak that they dont hold the movie together at all  and the acting is terrible  carol cheng has apparently won best actress honors at the hong kong movie awards in the past  but since operation condor is a dubbed movie it kind of takes all bets off  this  combined with an obviously low production value made we want to turn away from the screen until i heard those kicks start flying  
neg	cashing in on the success of white men cant jump and the failure of most of their solo vehicles  including the cowboy way and drop zone   wesley snipes and woody harrelson have reteamed  hoping that they can strike up the same success  sadly  if this dismal  cliche ridden and mindnumbingly boring action pic is anything to go by  they havent got a chance in hell of even coming close  this time out  the duo play foster brothers who are transit cops  following several runins with their tyrannical boss  robert blake   who is obsessed with the  money train  a train which carries all the subways takingsand will let nothing stop it  now  theres  an original plot device   harrelsons character decides to try and take off with the cash  along the way  both of them fall in love with the same womananother transit cop who also hates her boss  this leads to the typical sibling rivalry crap that you usually find in a film of this standard  you were always the better brother etc  etc  etc    and doesnt help to add anything to the film  given a better script  better performers in supporting roles and a shorter running time  the film almost went for two hoursor did it just feel like it    this film might  and i mean  might   have turned out okay  but as it is  it is stocked with the worst action film cliches  whose only purpose appears to be to pad the film out to its painfully long running time  robert blake  who plays the evil boss  has got to be the most pathetic bad guy in film history  he sounds like wayne newton  and appears to think the best way to appear evil is to have your eyes bulging as though they are about to burst out of their sockets  but this is only one of money trains problems  if you look at the script as if it was an action film  it lacks originality and suspense  but if you try to look at it as if it were a heist film  it is even worse  the final robbery sequence is almost trivialised and the characters definitely aint butch and sundance  the film isnt all bad though  snipes and harrelson  when they arent using the dumb cliches that the script gives them  make an agreeable duo  and some of the stuntwork is indeed excellent  but good stuntwork cannot save a bottomofthebarrel action movie  if youre a really undemanding action freak  theres a chance youll like this  but if youre looking for something original  or suspenseful  try somewhere elsei doubt youll find it here  
neg	girl 6 is  in a word  a mess  i was never able to determine what spike lee was trying to accomplish with this film  there was no sense of where the film was going  or any kind of coherent narrative  if there was a point to the film  i missed it  girl 6  by the way  is the way theresa randles character is addressed in the phone sex workplace  all the girls are known by their numbers  the plot  such as it is  theresa randle is a struggling n  y  actress  and eventually takes a job as a phonesex operator  she begins to lose contact with reality  as her job consumes her  also  she must deal with the advances of her exhusband  isiah washington   he is an ex con thief  and she tries to keep him away  while at the same time  its clear that she still harbors feelings for him  her neighbor  jimmy  spike lee  functions as the observer  mediating between the ex husband and girl 6  he also functions as a point of stability  as he watches her become seduced by the lurid world of phone sex  the soundtrack  consisting of songs by prince  was jarring  it kept taking my attention from the film  not altogether a bad thing  ill grant you  as what was transpiring onscreen wasnt that riveting  for parts of the middle of the film  the music stayed blissfully in the background  in the opening sequence and one scene later in the film  however  the music was particularly loud and distracting  of course  ive never really cared for princes  or tafkap if you like  music  prince fans might love the soundtrack  but it will probably be distracting  even to diehard fans  of the performances  the only one that stood out was spike lees buddy character  jimmy  he was excellent as the alwaysbroke neighbor of girl 6  he should have stuck to acting in this film  there are several sequences that gave me the impression that hed like to be oliver stone when he grows up  there are scenes shot with different types of film  which are purposely grainy  and reminiscent of some of the scenes in oliver stones natural born killers  in that film  they worked to propel the narrative  in this film  they just made me more confused  there are some amusing moments  and a few insights into the lives of the women who use their voices to make the phonesex industry the multibillion dollar industry that it has become  other than that  though  nothing much happens  there are a few intense moments  as when one caller becomes frightening  but even that is rather lackluster  im not the biggest fan of spike lee  though id agree that he has done some very good work in the past  in girl 6  though  he seems to be floundering  he had an interesting idea  a fairly good setup  and seemed to wander aimlessly from there  girl 6 earns a grade of d  
neg	back in 1980s  chuck norris used to be synonym for the action films  he couldnt  of course  top the success and fame of big action names like sylvester stallone or arnold schwarzenegger  but sheer quantity of his films guaranteed that he was household name among shootem up and beatem up genre aficionados  that quantity was mostly provided by cannon group  prolific production company that dominated the bmovie market in previous decade by flooding it with cheap  formulaic and  more often than not  unwatchable genre products  the hitman  1991 action thriller directed by chucks brother aaron  is one of the last among them  chuck norris here plays seattle cop betrayed  shot and left for dead by his partner  which shouldnt surprise anyone  considering the fact that the partner is being played by michael parks  specialised for roles of usually very mean characters   surviving the shooting  cop is pronounced dead and hired as deep undercover agent  he infiltrates the underworld circles in seattle and becomes their top hitman  using his abilities to start brutal war between three major crime organisations  italians  french canadians and iranians  since it is rather absurd to expect great acting ability from chuck norris  at least not in this kind of movie  the biggest attraction of this film should have been action  well  the action in this film falls flat  it is boring  repetitive and not at all exciting  it is nothing more than monotonous series of scenes that contains violence too brutal even for this type of films  we know very little about norris character while  on the other hand  gangsters are portrayed with more human dimension  in the end we almost feel sorry for them  since they are shown totally powerless against norris and his unstoppable and bloody crusade  during the film  somebody obviously became aware of that problem  so the screenwriter introduced the subplot dealing with the black boy who gets adopted by norris  that caused another problem  any questions about nature of that relationship had to be quashed with another subplot  this one dealing with lady lawyer who sleeps with the hero and gets killed after fulfilling that screenplay obligation  the photography in this film is dark  setting is depressive and this forgettable piece of 1980s style cinema leaves viewers without any reason to justify the hour and half spent in watching it  
neg	as forgetful as some people may be it is doubtful that anyone could forget their wedding  especially three times  but  alas professor brainard somehow manages to accomplish this feat twice before the momentous night that he actually creates flubber  its amazing that he is able to remember any of the processes he uses to make anything  the whole point here is how could a man be so blatantly forgetful  this is not absent minded this is almost mindless and he is a professor  well  this is the case for about the first half of the movie then things begin to settle into what might truly be considered absent minded  along the way to becoming absent minded from absent of mind the professor stumbles onto flubber  thankfully or there would be no movie or any amusement for the audience  the flubber is supposed to be flying rubber  but it seems to have a life of its own  this is there strictly for the kids  the properties of the flubber provide some antics for the audience when flubber coated golfballs and bowling balls assail two would be thugs  although amusing this is not original what so ever and brings back haunting memories of home alone  the poor professor has to save the university where he teaches at  get his fiancee back  finally stop the plotting of an evil millionaire  and do all this in the funniest way possible  admittedly there are funny moments but the movie is rather shallow and does not compare very well to the original  the absent minded professor   the whole scene with the basketball game was just atrocious and totally unbelievable  the basketball players  stereotypically unqualified for the sport  somehow manage to bounce  fly and dribble their way back to being close to winning  this just sounds too bad to be true  the least that could have been done was keep semi close to the original movie to give this film a chance  as for innovations and new ideas there is but two good ones in this movie  giving life to the flubber  which is so poorly executed that its best forgotten  and prof  brainards flying robot weebo  giving life to the flubber would have worked beautifully if it wasnt for scenes of the sort where you have the flubber dancing around on tables and books for no real reason other than to put in a bit of music and extend the length of the movie  the life of the flubber had brief and rather whimsical moments where it might have been used well  but it wasnt and in the end might have done the movie more harm than good  now  weebo is a totally different story  its a robot that prof  brainard created but forgot how and gave something of a life too  this is a really original idea  well maybe not  but it is an idea that is well executed and in the end makes the poor robot the most developed and real character in the movie  yes folks the little yellow robot has more emotion and character than the characters  the film lacks the emotional punch to pull the audience in at all  the acting by robin williams  prof  brainard  seems to be half hearted for most of the movie and in many cases quite forced  most of the acting in the movie was so convincing as to fool only the part of the audience that had not quite yet reached the age to 12  people when stood up at the altar  dont usually give third chances  or for that matter talk to the fiancee afterwards  but what can be expected this is a childrens movie  flubber  as a movie does little original and is nothing special in any respect  with the best character in the movie being something of a prop i doubt that many people will find it all that great  it does have its amusing moments and it is a good story in the end  but it does not wash up to the original  kids should find this movie amusing and fun and theyll probably enjoy the whole movie  as a movie its just a kids movie and not the best of ones at that  
neg	how do you judge a film that is so bad  but intentionally so  in spiceworld  the highly popular singing group the spice girls accomplish their major goal  mocking themselves with a purposely cheezy film and having a lot of fun doing it  if that was their goal  they did a fantastic job  so is it fair to give it such a low grade when it wasnt really meant to be much better than this  honestly  id rather see this film before many others i gave higher grades  so does that mean i graded it inaccurately  truth be known  i dont really think i can answer this question  to understand spiceworld  you have to understand the spice girls  unless youre very  very  young  or fairly older  you probably have at least heard of them  theyre a group of five busty british babes whove had 1 hit singles and whose debut album sold millions  theyre primarily adored by preteen girls who hope someday the contents of their training bras might match those of ginger spices  real name  geri haliwell  wonderbra  all five of the girls have these  spicy  names for which they are better known than their real names  there is the aforementioned ginger spice  as well as sporty spice  melanie chisholm  or mel c    scary spice  melanie brown  or mel b    baby spice  emma bunton   and posh spice  victoria addams   and all of them  to some degree or another  resemble their stage names  the spice girls took the world by storm  and spiceworld is actually a good humored spoof of all that transpired during their quick rise to fame  its quite nice to see what good sports the girls are  and not just the one dubbed sporty  about poking fun at themselves  they dont take themselves too seriously  and thats probably the best thing about them  its also surprising how natural they seem in front of the camera  acting   and not just singing and dancing  theyre not flawless by any means  but for the most part  they deliver their lines without feeling staged  and  like them or not  we get the sense the five are very at home within their characters  which seems reasonable since they portray themselves   what makes the film bad is that extreme fans of the spice girls wont get enough of their music  while the rest of us dont get enough of a movie  the real point of this is to look at the spice girls for over ninety straight minutes  most of the film is very blas   but several parts are downright boring  and then they have those sporadic moments that actually make us laugh out loud  if youre a big fan of the group  you probably wont get enough of what you want  and if youre not a big fan  you get too much time devoted to nothing more than  look at us  moments  for the right crowd  the  music video  sequences will be the highlights of the film  but for others  they will serve as threeminute lulls in a hecticbutoveralluneventful storyline  other key actors include richard e  grant as clifford  the spice girls manager  alan cumming as the filmmaker piers cuthertonsmyth who attempts to make a documentary of the group  george wendt as martin barnfield  a producer who constantly works on pitching a spice girls movie  and roger moore in a small  selfparodizing role  all provide relatively good performances  keeping in mind once again that this film wasnt meant to be acted seriously  even meat loaf shows up as dennis the bus driver and seems to have fun with it  while this film is continuously compared to the beatles a hard days night  i think that is an unjust comparison  it is supposedly the movie studio that first mad the comparison by way of press kits  but i dont think drector bob spiers  nor the spice girls  intended it to be so  i think the studios were just trying to boost hype and interest in the film  and have instead  come off rather pretentious  i dont think this film is trying to be anything more than a fun  satirical look at a group that got so big  a movie seemed the next likely step  and what couldve been better than a selfindulged yet self mocking approach  probably nothing  and so it is  spiceworld is a movie i thought would be embarrassing to enjoy  but now instead  i find myself wanting to defend a movie i didnt even give a good review  its bad  but it succeeds in every way it intended  it gives the spice girls a chance to play while allowing all those obsessive fans out there to indulge in every brainless moment  perhaps the group is nothing more than a gimmick  if thats the case  the movies gimmick is that it  is  such a gimmick  you might be saying   a spice girls movie  come on    but when it comes down to it  i think thats the point  
neg	we could paraphrase michelle pfieffers character in dangerous minds and say that beyond rangoon starts with an  a   thats fair enough  all movies  like all school children  should be given the benefit of the doubt  the chance to succeed  after all  we like to think that the right combination of talent and effort can do wonders  mountains can be moved  and good movies can be made  yeah right  children fail  as do films  as does director john boormans latest  the success of beyond rangoon hinges on the believability of patricia arquette  ed wood  true romance  as the busty westernerinperil wandering about 1988 burma without a passport  though we can stomach the mild plot contrivances that get her there  its a tougher task to overlook the actress  shes a lightweight  as the first scene  with narration   demonstrates  she doesnt have  nearly  enough range for the emotions that her charactera mother fleeing the memories of a murdered husband and sonis supposed to show  she may give a stronger performance than  say  keanu reeves in a walk in the clouds  by not by much  beyond rangoon is a very physically appealing film  thanks to the practiced craftsmanship of john boorman  deliverance  excalibur  hope and glory   he keeps the narrative moving  no matter how muddy the storyor the heroinegets  why he chose arquette remains a mystery  though  maybe he was thinking that the dramatic weight of the story would overcome any casting deficiencies  but even after an hour of halfstated political statements and murky mass killings  we  still  dont know enough of whats happening in this country to feel distressed for the characters or their situations  empty exoticism  the technical credits in beyond rangoon are a curious mix  combining lush jungle photography with bad bluescreen work  also odd is the obvious dubbing  done to make some of the foreign characters sound less foreign  and  is it my mistake  or do the same extras keep reappearing as different soldiers   doo doo doo doo    twilight zone  theme  or opinion of movie  you be the judge   
neg	i think that saying that the xfiles is one of this summers most anticipated films is safe  for five years   the xfiles  television show has developed a dedicated fan culture  whose rabid devotion to the series rivals that of  star trek  fans  the premise of both the movie and the television series is two fbi agents who investigate the paranormal  fox mulder  david duchovny  is the avid believer whose quest to find the truth about extraterrestrial life borders on the paranoid  and dana scully  gillian anderson  is the scientific skeptic trying to find a rational explanation to mulders flights of fancy  outlining the plot of the xfiles movie is virtually impossible  since to be general would result in confusion  yet to be specific would give too much away  nevertheless  i will try   the black ooze   and extraterrestrial  viruslike substance is threatening earth  a  shadow government  is aware of this  but tries to coverup the alien existence  mulder and scully know  the truth is out there   and so try to expose both the invasion and the coverup  there are three central questions i have heard asked about this movie  1  will those who dont watch the series be able to understand the movie  yes  isolated as an individual text  the xfiles can stand alone  they have given enough background for anyone  familiar with the show or not  to understand the movie  although some of the secondary characters histories may confuse the uninitiated  those characters are not essential to the film  this is a major problem  they trot out token secondary characters from the series out for an appearance and then disappear just as quickly  why bring superintendent skinner into the picture in the first place  and then have him sat silently on an fbi internal affairs committee  why bring in  the lone gunmen   three computer geek conspiracy theorists  for an even briefer appearance  these characters are recurrent on the series  and their appearance in the film was met with whoops from the audience  suggesting their popularity among fans  actually most of the audience could pass for  the lone gunmen    still  then they vanish just as quickly  2  the television show never gives us any answers  will the movie actually explain some things  yes  in the xfiles we get a fairly complete history of  the black ooze   what it is and what it wants  we finally get some understanding of the motivations behind the  shadow government   there are even some subtle tieins with contemporary ufoology  including the  greys  and the roswell crash of 1947  3  is the movie any good  no  the xfiles is a dreadful movie and shows some fundamental problems with writercreator chris carters talents and the relationship between cinema and television  first off  the screenplay by series creator chris carter is sloppy and cliched  after approximately fortyfive minutes  the length of a television episode minus the commercials   the pace drops to a snails crawl  not long after that point  when carter attempts to answer some questions we have had about the series  we wish he had not  the explanations are so trite and ridiculous that one would have preferred it had carter not explained quite so much  i am willing to suspend my disbelief a fair bit  but the absurdity carter wants me to swallow was just too much  breaking the suspension of disbelief destroys the movie  and listening to other fans leave the cinema  maybe the series too  the explanations are not only absurd  they are tired and unoriginal  the extraterrestrials breed and gestate like those from the alien series  and their craft looks like a leftover set piece from independence day  note that the alien movies  id4  and the xfiles are all from 20thcentury fox  a studio that is beginning to cannibalize itself i think  the xfiles is noteworthy for being the only movie based on a television series to be produced while the series was still running  in comparing the movie and television series certain aspects of the respective media emerge  the avoidance of the series to answer the questions it raised annoyed and frustrated many people  however  i rather liked that about the series  television allows you to impose as much  or as little  meaning on a show as you want  it is the proverbial  blank screen  which we project our minds on  meaning on television is open and ambiguous  it is the nature of the medium  cinema  on the other hand  is the opposite  it projects onto us the filmmakers mind  we can  in some films  fill the textual gaps ourselves  but that almost never happens in an american film  meaning  in cinema  needs to be selfcontained and determined  so  when the xfiles made that jump from small to big screen  carter needed to take into consideration the differences in the medium as well  he did not  by making explicit  what the television show left implicit  carter reveals the limits of his creativity and skill  when they say that  fans  make a tv show  it is not far from the truth  on television  fan culture must impose its meanings on the text because there is nothing there  how true that is when we see the  explicit  xfiles  there is nothing there  the following was printed in the st  johns express  st  johns  newfoundland  canada  all views are the authors  but copyright is held by robinsonblackmore  1998  nbsp  movie review by mikel j  koven nbsp  i think that saying that the xfiles is one of this summers most anticipated films is safe  nbsp  for five years   the xfiles  television show has developed a dedicated fan culture  whose rabid devotion to the series rivals that of  star trek  fans  nbsp  the premise of both the movie and the television series is two fbi agents who investigate the paranormal  fox mulder  david duchovny  is the avid believer whose quest to find the truth about extraterrestrial life borders on the paranoid  and dana scully  gillian anderson  is the scientific skeptic trying to find a rational explanation to mulders flights of fancy  nbsp  outlining the plot of the xfiles movie is virtually impossible  since to be general would result in confusion  yet to be specific would give too much away  nbsp  nevertheless  i will try  nbsp   the black ooze   and extraterrestrial  viruslike substance is threatening earth  nbsp  a  shadow government  is aware of this  but tries to coverup the alien existence  nbsp  mulder and scully know  the truth is out there   and so try to expose both the invasion and the coverup  nbsp  there are three central questions i have heard asked about this movie  nbsp  1  nbsp  will those who dont watch the series be able to understand the movie  nbsp  yes  nbsp  isolated as an individual text  the xfiles can stand alone  nbsp  they have given enough background for anyone  familiar with the show or not  to understand the movie  nbsp  although some of the secondary characters histories may confuse the uninitiated  those characters are not essential to the film  nbsp  this is a major problem  they trot out token secondary characters from the series out for an appearance and then disappear just as quickly  nbsp  why bring superintendent skinner into the picture in the first place  and then have him sat silently on an fbi internal affairs committee  nbsp  why bring in  the lone gunmen   three computer geek conspiracy theorists  for an even briefer appearance  nbsp  these characters are recurrent on the series  and their appearance in the film was met with whoops from the audience  suggesting their popularity among fans  actually most of the audience could pass for  the lone gunmen    nbsp  still  then they vanish just as quickly  nbsp  2  nbsp  the television show never gives us any answers  nbsp  will the movie actually explain some things  nbsp  yes  nbsp  in the xfiles we get a fairly complete history of  the black ooze   what it is and what it wants  nbsp  we finally get some understanding of the motivations behind the  shadow government   nbsp  there are even some subtle tieins with contemporary ufoology  including the  greys  and the roswell crash of 1947  nbsp  3  nbsp  is the movie any good  nbsp  no  nbsp  the xfiles is a dreadful movie and shows some fundamental problems with writercreator chris carters talents and the relationship between cinema and television  nbsp  first off  the screenplay by series creator chris carter is sloppy and cliched  nbsp  after approximately fortyfive minutes  the length of a television episode minus the commercials   the pace drops to a snails crawl  nbsp  not long after that point  when carter attempts to answer some questions we have had about the series  we wish he had not  nbsp  the explanations are so trite and ridiculous that one would have preferred it had carter not explained quite so much  nbsp  i am willing to suspend my disbelief a fair bit  but the absurdity carter wants me to swallow was just too much  nbsp  breaking the suspension of disbelief destroys the movie  and listening to other fans leave the cinema  maybe the series too  nbsp  the explanations are not only absurd  they are tired and unoriginal  nbsp  the extraterrestrials breed and gestate like those from the alien series  and their craft looks like a leftover set piece from independence day  nbsp  note that the alien movies  id4  and the xfiles are all from 20thcentury fox  a studio that is beginning to cannibalize itself i think  nbsp  the xfiles is noteworthy for being the only movie based on a television series to be produced while the series was still running  nbsp  in comparing the movie and television series certain aspects of the respective media emerge  nbsp  the avoidance of the series to answer the questions it raised annoyed and frustrated many people  nbsp  however  i rather liked that about the series  nbsp  television allows you to impose as much  or as little  meaning on a show as you want  nbsp  it is the proverbial  blank screen  which we project our minds on  nbsp  meaning on television is open and ambiguous  it is the nature of the medium  nbsp  cinema  on the other hand  is the opposite  nbsp  it projects onto us the filmmakers mind  nbsp  we can  in some films  fill the textual gaps ourselves  but that almost never happens in an american film  nbsp  meaning  in cinema  needs to be selfcontained and determined  nbsp  so  when the xfiles made that jump from small to big screen  carter needed to take into consideration the differences in the medium as well  nbsp  he did not  nbsp  by making explicit  what the television show left implicit  carter reveals the limits of his creativity and skill  nbsp  when they say that  fans  make a tv show  it is not far from the truth  nbsp  on television  fan culture must impose its meanings on the text because there is nothing there  nbsp  how true that is when we see the  explicit  xfiles  there is nothing there  
neg	contrary to popular belief  not every single foregin film released to an american market is a masterpiece  some of them arent even good  some examples of this principle are the aboslutely dreadful  un indien dans la ville   presented as  little indian  big city   and remade into that crap tim allen flick   jungle2jungle    and this  what could have been a clever little sex comedy turns into one mess of a french flick   french twist   the  cool  american title  not the real one  which was  gazon maudit   literally meaning  twisted ground   or something like that  deals with a married couple with kids  and the intrusion of a stranger who kinda screws things up for them  loli and alain chabat  victoria abril and alain chabat  are not exactly happily married  always on business trips  alain chabat more than once cheats on her  and she eventually finds out  and one day  she meets a butch mechanic  marijo  the cowriterdirector josiane balasko   and they two kinda hit it off  so she decides she will get back at alain chabat by doing the obvious  sleeping with marijo  but she soons starts to not only fall in love with marijo  but shes also realizes shes still in love with alain chabat  so  of course  she does the obvious from that  she decides to keep them both  shell be  and sleep  with each of them for 3 days each  then on sunday  shell rest by herself  after all  she needs it if shes gonna have more sex than sylvia kristel  the film goes on for over an hour and a half  through stupidity after stupidity  moronic twist after moronic twist  and soon theres the little ironic      ending  i know its a completely different culture  and im quite familiar with the french and their cinema  but this is just bad  none of the characters are more intelligent than peter stormare in  fargo   a movie where stupid characters were backed up to make a point   and any action they do is pretty much just to get a hopeful chuckle from the audience  whats shocking is this was not only one of frances biggest hits  but it was nominated for a lot of cesars  french equivalent of oscars   the writing and directing is really the big problem with it  josiane balasko does a good acting job with her role  but her little sex comedy isnt very humerous  entertaining  or even deep at all  even woody allens notverygood  a midsummer nights sex comedy  is intelligent  wellwritten  and possesses some depth  this is shallow  unfunny  and pretty annoying to watch  the film moves at the pace of a snail  and is damnnear painful to watch  thank god for the fast forward button  the acting  however  isnt bad at all  the actors do the best they can with the bad material  and victoria abril is pretty likable despite the script  and the fact that shes stupid enough to try to divide herself over two people when she has kids   and alain chabat has some funny moments as the neurotic husband  but  french twist  is just pretty lame  its not overly horrible  and has a couple very  very  very brief moments  but its just a really crap film  and an example of an illadvised distribution of a foreign film  
neg	i can see a decent sports movie struggling to break free of oliver stones any given sunday  its an entertaining movie that offers both insight and excitement into the rockem  sockem profession of pro football  unfortunately  the director seems to have only one priority on his mind  sprucing up the film with an assortment of fancy camera maneuvers  in altering each frame with quickflash photography and dizzying  inyourface editing  stone appears to have completely ignored the matter of plausible character development and football politics  we see glimpses of greatness  but any given sunday has its agenda all tangled in technical gobbledygook  it grows tiresome and monotonous  yes  stone has pulled a brian depalma  matters of importance are pushed aside right from the getgo  tony damato  al pacino   coach of the struggling miami sharks  finds his team stuck in a losing rut  aging quarterback cap rooney  dennis quaid  appears to be losing his touch  and damato cant seem to ignite any passion in his squad  when cap is injured on the field  and after a patch of unlikely events occur  thirdstring qb willie beaman  jamie foxx  is brought into the game  once in the huddle  and this becomes an ingame ritual   beaman horks all over the field  nerves  you see  eventually though  the ancy youngster wins the game for his teammates  sparking his rise to fame in the football world  the endorsements  the music videos  etc   and stone straps us in for the jolting ride of behindthescenes stress and fury that the business is apparently like  and i believe it  there is some intriguing insight posed  but in the big scheme of things  stone fumbles the ball  the problem with the directors visual approach is this  he uses extravagant editing devices when a more conventional approach would have been appropriate  football is an exciting game to watch  but stone seems to think dizzying the audience with an assault on the senses will only add to the adrenaline rush  i guess he is mistaken  any given sunday is a visual kaleidoscope that leaves the audience in a frustrated stupor more frequently than it excites them  many football fans  including one i attended with  are liable to be disappointed with the ultrastylish way stone has decided to present the game  in return  a threestar film becomes unfortunately degraded due to the directors tampering  in welcome scenes when the visual pummeling comes to a break  this actually shows decent character development and interaction  for instance  heated returns between damato and feisty young owner christina pagniacci  cameron diaz  are enjoyable to watch  there is also a solid performance from jamie foxx  who experiments with great success in his first trek into dramatic territory  the stellar supporting cast includes matthew modine  aaron eckhart  lauren holly  annmargret and charlton heston  in an extraordinarily brief appearance   unfortunately  too many big names are wasted  a typical demise for a film with such a large and experienced cast  pacino makes some interesting progress with his character  you begin to identify with coach damato and the morals he is striving for     but i often felt he was just another play thing stone could weave in and out of his editing dynamics  any given sunday is a watchable but disappointing sports film in which plot and characters take a back seat to excessive filmmaking technique  and a very distant back seat  at that  
neg	this wellconceived but ultra sugary comingofage film is not for everyone  and i include myself as one of those who found it too sappy for my digestion  joseph cross  joshua beal  is a 10yearold who is saddened by the recent loss of his grandfather  loggia  to bone marrow cancer  loggia is wonderful in relating to the child in such a wholesome manner  it almost saves this film from drowning in syrup  the beals are like a sitcom idyllic family  where everyone is just so nice and affluent  and properly religious without being fanatical  the beals  the father  denis leary  and his wife  dana delany   are both successful doctors  julia stiles plays joshuas older sister  needling her younger brother but also showing that she really cares about him  this is a family seemingly conceived in heaven  but living in south philadelphia  sending their children to a wellrun catholic school  joshua  the protagonist and the narrator of this yarn  is a handsome  sweet  intelligent  friendly  and endearing child  who does well in school  relates to the nuns and priests  and talks politely to his wellmeaning parents  all this mawkish interplay makes it almost too nauseating to watch  the plot arises when joseph has a problem coping with the death of his beloved grandfather  who promised to be with him forever  his answer is to search for god  pretty heady stuff for a youngster his age to do  but thats just the way it is  sometimes  this search for god takes us nowhere because  as his friend david  reifsnyder  says  where can you look for him if he doesnt exist  now  thats a smart kid  but joseph looks for him in the usual places  and what better place than to start in the parochial school he attends  one of his teachers is the kindhearted sister terry  rosie odonnell   who wears a philly baseball hat and equates the jesus stories with baseball  making him the cleanup hitter  and in my opinion  if she wasnt a big tv star  would have a vocation as a parochial school teacher  she is that convincing  throughout the film  she is saved from answering any tough  sic   question about god by the bell  as it rings to end the class  nothing much happens in the search for god  there is no parody of the catholic school  though a visiting cardinal is found by the boy not to be able to talk to god  but this is gentle stuff  no real criticism or search for god is attempted  what comes next into play is some hollywood hokum  which is designed not to upset anyone  as joseph has a reassuring encounter with a real  live angel  a blond little boy his own age and dressed like him in the catholic school uniform who wears the innocuous smile of a goodygoody  the film ends as this angel      tells him his grandfather is all right  his quest is ended  as apparently angels dont have wings and are approachable  and god  well     maybe thats for another film down the road  this part of the film was the final straw for me  i couldnt swallow any more goo  as this film flopped commercially  his next one  the sixth sense  pared down the schmaltz and came up smelling like a rose  though if you look through the cleverness of both scripts  this director is loaded with hokum  all he has learned how to do  is hide the hokum better  well  god bless him  if he can do that  this is a nice family picture and there is room for it in hollywood  its just too bad that it had nothing relevent or even truthful to say about death  children in a parochial elementary school  or for that matter  about god  and that family of his  theyre too good for words  yet the film meant well and its benign message had its heart in the right place  for those who want to see something soft  without a bite to it  this is the one  
neg	 battlefield earth  is the best comedy of the year  it has to be  the other prospect is just too horrifying to consider  bad movie syndrome struck me again  so after witnessing how much  battlefield earth  has been proclaimed a train wreck in both critical and popular circles  i felt the masochistic urge to see the disaster firsthand  is it as bad as advertised  oh yes  very much so  the plot is incomprehensible  the acting is atrocious  the special effects are mediocre  the action is dull  the implausibilities are legion  the dialogue is cringeinducing  the whole package is funny when it wants to be serious and irritating when it wants to be funny  i dont even want to continue reviewing this movie  id like to purge the atrocity from my mind as soon as possible  but you probably want to read my thrashing in all its sarcastic glory  so here it is  the premise is basically a ripoff of  planet of the apes   only minus the apes and philosophical discussion  and plus a race of evil aliens from the planet psychlo  the year is 3000  the psychlos have conquered earth  and the human population has been enslaved  only a handful of humans escaped to radiationrich areas to escape the aliens  they live out their lives in fear  one man  johnny goodboy  i know  i know  tyler  barry pepper   ventures to the outworld and is captured by the psychlos  there he confronts the psychlo head of security  a big  ugly  klingonlooking creature called terl  john travolta   pressed into slavery  johnny vows to lead a revolution and take the planet back  meanwhile  terl is faced with his own problems  he has recently learned that hes stuck living on earth  which he hates  for the rest of his career because he pissed off his boss by sleeping with the big mans daughter  he decides to give johnny knowledge of the psychlo language and technology  this is where the plot gets ridiculous     so the  mananimal  can lead a mining expedition into places the psychlos cant go  terl then plans to keep the mined gold for himself  of course  his plan doesnt work  so many things wrong with this movie  where to begin  how about with travolta  whose hollywood clout brought about this  the cinematic version of scientology guru l  ron hubbards scifi novel  early previews for  battlefield earth   with constant shots of a makeupladen travolta cackling like lex luthor  had me  and several audience members  remarking   what the hell is travolta thinking   the movie did nothing to stem such remarks  all that ridiculous cackling he did in the trailers is in full force here  terl cackles after nearly every line  and so does every other psychlo  of course  this makes every scene hilariously overwrought  no more so than when the script clumsily stumbles into political commentary  the psychlos are probably supposed to be some kind of satire of corporate america  but ceos generally dont laugh maniacally after denying pay raises to their employees    you were going to be promoted  but now youre not  fwahahahahahahahaha        its no big surprise terl loses to the humans  hes an idiot  he breaks every kind of supervillain rule in the book  he underestimates his enemies  assuming hell win just because hes smarter   he uses the word  leverage  like some sort of scientologist mantra   not content to go the james bond villain route of explaining his plans to the hero  he hooks him up to a machine that gives him knowledge of all the psychlos language and technology   why this machine is even around in the first place is beyond me   he then appears shocked that johnny points a gun at him  no wonder this guy never got his promotion  the plot inconsistencies are too numerous to mention  why do the psychlos build an earth base in which both they and the human slaves must wear little breathing apparatuses to survive  how come the psychlos are wasting their time mining for gold when the doors of fort knox are wide open  how in the world did all those fighter jets survive sitting in a hangar for 1  000 years  and how do all these previously braindead cavemen learn to fly them so quickly  theres a whole lot more to scratch ones head about in  battlefield earth   bring a scorecard to track the plot holes  director roger christian shoots  battlefield earth  in the most distracting way possible  tilting nearly every shot sideways for no discernible reason  all the characters appear to be standing on the walls  and its awfully difficult to watch a movie when you must tilt your head just to watch ordinary passages of dialogue  the action sequences are atrociously edited  every one turned into an endless slowmotion parade that drains all potential excitement  are these things really so hard to construct  my respect for supposed  lightweight  action directors has grown by leaps and bounds after witnessing in  battlefield earth  how badly an action sequence can be shot  this movie is an absolute headache  its not just the shot selection and editing  the movie  quite frankly  makes no sense  for most of  battlefield earths  running time  i just didnt know what was happening  it didnt have anything to do with me finding the events stupid or illogical  though they certainly are   i really had no idea what the hell was going on  when i pieced the plot together later  it didnt look any better  heres how much of a disaster this is   battlefield earth  is already the worst movie of the year  and its going to take something really  really inept to top it  the only thing we can take comfort in about the film is that no one will be suckered into joining the church of scientology because of it  in fact  id think that hubbards cult would want to distance themselves from this bomb as fast as possible  thatll teach me to give into bad movie syndrome again  
neg	long time buddies and neil diamond tribute band members wayne  steve zahn   happy  texas   and j  d   jack black   high fidelity   watch in horror as third mate darren silverman  jason biggs   american pie   disappears under the thumb of his new fiance judith   amanda peet   the whole nine yards   a controlling psychiatrist  theyre doubly troubled when the return of darrens one and only love sandy perkins  amanda detmer   final destination   returns to their home town but doesnt cause a ripple in darrens devotion to judith  theres only one thing wayne and j  d  can think of doing  they kidnap judith and fake her death in  saving silverman   written by hank nelken and greg depaul after seeing a friend engaged to the wrong woman   saving silverman  is directed by hit comedy director dennis dugan of such films as  big daddy    brain donors  and  problem child   its a dismal  thirdrate farrelly brothers rip off that attempts to milk humor from such inspired bits of whimsy as having darrens love interest come from a family of circus freaks and be about to become a nun  gross out gags include a visualization of darren getting butt cheek implants   saving silverman  is almost saved by stars zahn and black  these two are so comically talented they can take bad material and still deliver the goods  theyre in  animal house  mode while the rest of the film trawls along and comes up empty  jason biggs can attribute his entire career to the luck of having been cast in the smash hit  american pie   peet shows some physical moves but no flair for comedy here while detmer slaps a brave  sweet smile onto her face and soldiers through  r  lee ermey   full metal jacket   is one note in an embarrassing performance as a psychopathic exfootball coach  neil diamond appears at the films climax as himself and miraculously enlivens the proceedings by belting out some of his old standards  
neg	well if you are up for stellar effects then this is the movie for you  because thats all that there really is     i found that after watching this movie it had many many gaps and flaws in simple logic in the plot  for one thing  a white leading actor who has a black daughter does leave some curiosity     i am not saying that this isnt possible   but it does leave one to wonder    i know i did  another thing is that this movie has sections which are painfully stretched out     and certain scenes are repeated essentially but with slight variations  there was one scene that should have been short    but it was horribly stretched and somewhere in the middle of it i found myself thinking   ok enough already get on with it  there are also times where you have to wonder why things happen the way they do    things just magically happen and there is no prelude or anything of the sort    another thing that i noticed towards the end was that some characters just vanished without a trace but they were fairly major through most of the beginning  this movie is also very predictable    you can almost tell the final story somewhere in the middle and you definitely know what will happen at a given moment   granted this is hard to omit but here its just blatant it sits there and stares at you  also some of the things that happen are a little too predictable and several cliques are repeated    it gets boring at times to tell you the truth    even though there is still action going on  another little point i might add is that the main character is supposed to be a quiet chaos mathematician not some shoot them up type of hero  some of the characters are not proper for their roles  the acting is fine but the characters just dont seem to add up  if i was to base my review totally on the plot then i wouldnt rate this movie too highly but thats just the thing this movie isnt just the plot  its the whole package and this package is really well done  the whole movie is really well done and looks really good and if one was to overlook the flaws in the plot and characters then this is really a movie  the special effects are just amazing  you cant tell that the dinosaurs are created it looks like they were there live  in a few instances of course you know its fake but there are other times that you just wouldnt be able to say that the creature wasnt there during filming  extinct or not  another thing is the destruction scenes    wow  those were masterpieces   well some of them were they were well choreographed and along with the dinos make this one of the reasons to see this movie  this movie is fairly long but it is action packed so it should do well in the box office   unfortunately it will take away from fifth element but alas what can we do   i may be too cynical for my age but this movie is only worth seeing for the effects and for it few funny moments   go see it in a matinee if you really must see it its not worth full price if you ask me  one little side note  although my opinion of this movie may not have been the best the way that this movie was marketed and how many theaters it was shown in toronto this opening weekend is nothing short of stupid  there were 10 theater movie theaters that were playing this movie around the clock i think that some people really want money badly     and i think that this type of activity hurts the movie industry let the other movies also have a chance     you know any movie with that much play would succeed even if it was the worst movie ever made      i thought id put this here to deflate the movie hype about this flick    its not that bad a movie but its not that great either hope you people realize this  
neg	when a film is produced on a shoestring budget by a couple of hardworking filmmakers and when it tells the story of a genuine tragedy  the easy path for a reviewer who hated the movie is to give it a pass  toss out your usual objectivity  ignore how many times you checked your watch while viewing it  forget how unbearable it was to sit through  and find some meaningless way to compliment it  this  of course  will be of no service to your readers  but at least youll avoid the hate mail from the movies fans  thus it is with a heavy heart that i review the movie paulina  not to be confused with the recent movie paulie about a talking parrot   directed by vicky funari as a labor of intense love  she spent the last one third of her life on film  the movie blends documentary footage with historic and fanciful recreations to relate the bitterly sad and true story of paulina cruz suarez  paulina was a maid in vickys household when vicky was young  i got to learn the films background when i attended a screening in which the two women who made it were present  for those without such context  the reaction to the film may be that it is a parody of a bad indie film  the acting is amateurish  the story is maudlin  and it has all the visual appeal of a bad home movie  grainy and overexposed  the movie  shot on 16mm film and videotape  has little to recommend it  confusingly composed  the movie jumps about jarringly as it tells its story  quite bloody at times  the story  full of horrific images  seems designed to shock and repulse us  why else would you include a scene with a completely nude and bloody 8yearold paulina  another scene has a teenage paulina being fondled on a bus by the man sitting next to her  in retaliation  she bites off part of his finger  this covers the both of them in a bucket of blood  the passengers on the bus then view the girl in their minds as everything from saint to sinner  one  for example  sees her as an aztec priestess holding out a large heart that she had just cut from a body  the lugubrious tale has paulina being raped and beaten  certainly she had to endure a miserable life  but that does not guarantee that a movie about her will necessarily being good  i felt trapped in the theater watching it  only the opportunity to talk with the filmmakers afterwards made the movie bearable  paulina runs 1  28  the film is in spanish with english subtitles  it is not rated but would be an r for violence and nudity and would be acceptable for older teenagers  
neg	in this years summer movie preview issue of entertainmentweekly  theresa connelly described her writingdirecting debut  polishwedding  as  a child that did not quite become the child i thought it would   one wonders what exactly she originally had in mind for this jumbled film  a comedydrama that appears doomed at its most basic elements  the family at the center of polishwedding is the pzoniaks  which consists of mother jadzia  lena olin   father bolek  gabriel byrne   sole daughter hala  claire danes  and four sons of varying degrees of facelessness  its a large family  but theres not a sympathetic one in the whole bunch  certainly not in the primary trio  jadzia takes pride in building and maintaining a home and family  but shes kind of a hypocrite since shes carrying on an affair with a businessman rade serbedzija   her excuse for her affair is neglect from bolek  who is such a passive wimp that one cannot connect with his sadness and frustration  also  how could he possibly pay so little attention to the saucy  sexy jadzia  hala is a spoiled  selfcentered high school dropout whose reckless sexual experimentation predictably leads to pregnancy  with such an unappealing set of characters  its no surprise that polishweddings plot complications are far from involving  naturally  jadzia and bolek would like hala to marry the young cop  russell schuster  adam trese   who fathered the child  but he refuses to make such a commitment  hohum  another complication  involving the decidedly unvirginal hala being selected to crown a statue of the virgin mary  is first played for laughs and then  inexplicably  as a profound statement in the films climaxwhich  ironically  is funnier than any of the films lame attempts at humor  such as a painfully labored slapstick attempt where jadzia leads her sons in a charge to beat up russell  that scene is but one in a number of writing miscues by connelly  the jadziabolek conflict is resolved in an overly pat way not unfamiliar to sitcom viewers  the halarussell conflict isnt resolved in as contrived a manner  but their ultimate resolution will leave viewers wondering if they had missed something  and then theres some atrocious dialogue  which i am sure was not supposed to be as ridiculous as they sound   look at all these pickles  just looking at them gives me such great sadness   as misguided as polishwedding is  the affair is something of a letdown  considering the strong performances by byrne  danes  and especially the fiery olin  they obviously believed in connelly and her materiala faith that audiences will be hardpressed to share  
neg	several days after having seen this movie  im still trying to determine what director christopher guest  a man whose sense of humor i usually appreciate  found funny in either the concept or the execution of almost heroes  this is a dreadful motion picture  a lowbrow example of period piece comedy with terrible production values and an exceptionally poor laughstojokes ratio  theres a kind of desperation in the movies approach to humor that reveals the film makers uncertainty about how entertaining the material is  the manic style betrays itself as a lastditch attempt to hide the flaws of a failed script  the premise doesnt sound especially amusing to begin with  almost heroes tells the tale of two explorers  the effeminate leslie edwards  matthew perry  and the uncouth bartholomew hunt  chris farley   who are racing lewis and clark on the trip to the american northwest  edwards and hunt are accompanied by the kinds of weirdoes we find in road movies  albeit of the early19th century variety   including a frenchman named guy fontenot who claims to speak hundreds of languages  none of which prove to be useful   a pretty indian maiden who turns into the obligatory love interest  and a bizarre man who suffers a series of debilitating injuries  along the way  the intrepid explorers encounter bears  bald eagles  aging native american warriors  and a conquistador named hildago  kevin dunn  who raves about his beautiful hair  the explorers trek takes them through forests  across the snowcapped rocky mountains  and over a waterfall  this setup leads to a lot of shouting  a great deal of lunacy  and very few laughs  farley engages in his usual shtick of falling down and bellowing  but  aside from an momentarily diverting confrontation with an eagle  his heart doesnt seem to be in it  matthew perry  one of the stars of tvs friends  who had some modest success in the romantic comedy  fools rush in  is badly miscast  as a foil for farley and an antidote to his runaway energy  perry lacks the necessary edge of the proverbial straight man  im not a big fan of david spade  and i didnt like tommy boy  but at least he and farley worked well together  as far as the supporting players go  none of them makes more than a fleeting impression  eugene levy is wasted  and kevin dunn is about as interesting here as he is in godzilla  frankly  its a disappointment to see something this dumb and ugly come from christopher guest  the brilliant comic force behind such films as this is spinal tap  the big picture  and waiting for guffman  although guest gets the costumes right  this nearlyinconsequential success is no substitute for the weak script and unfunny execution  the special effects  such as they are  are execrable  for an example of some really poor blue screen work  look at the scenes where the characters are shooting the rapids  theyre obviously getting buckets of water thrown on them  and where farley is being carried off by an eagle  even though farley didnt have the most stellar of acting careers  he doesnt deserve the kind of unfortunate epitaph offered by almost heroes  while some of the more outrageous attempts at humor may coax a few guffaws from 12year old boys  the level of comedy in almost heroes falls far below the level of sophomoric  farley fans who see this film as a way to say goodbye should be commended for their loyalty  since it takes real stamina to stay seated for the full running length of this cinematic torture session  
neg	when i was nine  i started buying the coolest toy figures in my local department store  masters of the universe was the pinnacle of what i was after for action figures  they combined science fiction and fantasy  had cool names like mekanek and stinkor and each came with its own little comic book to read  of course  the animated series produced by filmation remains one of the most wildly successful television products in world history  given the tremendous success of the toys and the cartoon  not to mention its moderately successful spinoff shera  princess of power   it was inevitable that a production company would put two and two together  come with the result of  trillions  and make a liveaction masters movie  lets be blunt  masters of the universe is a very bad movie  the story is painfully dull and mindnumbingly cliched  hands up who  wouldnt  guess heman and skeletor take their fight into the real world  and is acted out by either incredibly untalented actors  dolph lundgren as heman for one  or good actors  james tolkan  meg foster  given such awful characters and dialogue that they cant help but seem terrible  it is extremely clear that someone making the movie wanted it to be as good as star wars  we have the alien bounty hunters  the desert skif technology  stormtrooper lookalikes and a musical score so reminiscent of john williams that  deja vu  is too polite a term to use in describing it   blatant uninspired ripoff  would appear more appropriate  tv fans might want to check out courtney cox  monica in friends  and robert duncan mcneill  lt paris in star trek  voyager   very early in their careers and not doing to well in them either  so in the face of such mindless submediocrity  is there anything to make masters of the universe worth watching at all  yes  there is  one incredible good reason  his name is frank langella  langella has always been one of the underrated actors of hollywood  appearing in countless films over the years  here he plays skeletor  the villain of the piece  dressed in opulent black velvet robes and bearing a skull for a face  he is one part darth vader  one part emperor and two parts grim reaper  given this character  langella falls right into it with style and precision  skeletor is believable  interesting and manages to tread the fine line between being a homage to the past and startlingly original in his own right  masters of the universe  i remember loving it when i was eleven  at twenty one its difficult to see why  but  as i said  it is blessed with a superlative villain who makes the entire thing worth the tedium of the remainder  besides  this year marks the films 10th anniversary  watch it with some friends for a good laugh and celebrate  
neg	in  gia   angelina jolie plays the titular character  the first socalled supermodel  and right there you have the biggest hurdle this movie had to overcome  in my eyes  anyway   i just dont see how the life of a model is worthy of a two hour film  despite this  i kept an open mind when i began watching the movie  sadly  though  my fears were realized  its just not possible to make an interesting  fulllength film about a person who spends their days wearing different clothes  the movie follows the rise and fall of gia  no last name   a tumultuous woman who doesnt particularly enjoy the world of fashion  she becomes famous more quickly than she can handle  and finds herself hooked on drugs and on a woman she cannot have  the last hour of the film is just one scene after another of gia getting high  losing a job  and going into rehab  this formula is repeated several times  and i really got tired of it  in general  i tend to dislike movies featuring heavy drug use  no because it offends me or anything like that  it just bores me  quite frankly  i dont see the appeal  so when a director shows me a pointofview shot of a junkie  complete with tipsy camera angles and echoing voices  i am left somewhat unimpressed  the first hour of the film  though  was actually quite engaging  we see gia as she is discovered and moves to new york with her boyfriend  these early scenes were interesting  were shown the fashion world through a newcomers eyes  and it was a perspective i hadnt seen before  the movie begins to go downhill  however  once gia becomes an established model  from that point  i lost all interest in the movie and was counting the minutes before it would end  it all seemed so excessive  fine  so gia had a drug problem  does this really need to dominate the film  couldnt the same effect have been had with a five or ten minute montage of scenes featuring gia experimenting with drugs  or perhaps this film is meant to be a warning to aspiring models not to get into the drug world  quite possibly  although since i have no desire to become a model  this warning is lost on me  as i stated at the beginning of this review  i simply dont see how the life of a model is worthy of a featurelength motion picture  what do they do that warrants a movie  strut their stuff for thousands of dollars an hour  i suppose the same could be said about making movies about baseball players  for example  but at least somebody like lou gehrig led an interesting life  gia did not  and by the end of the film  all i knew about gia for sure was that she hated modelling  was bisexual  and was heavily into drugs  not exactly a meaningful contribution to society  as far as im concerned  
neg	talk about beating a dead horse  when home alone was released in 1990  it was a breath of fresh air  and the final box office tally indicated how much audiences appreciated a genuinelyfunny family film  the unexpectedly high gross guaranteed a sequel  so  two years later  we were subjected to home alone 2  which might as well have been called clone alone for all of the originality it exhibited  for john hughes  two home alone movies werent enough  he began recycling the same kinds of villains and situations in almost every movie he was involved with  including a pathetic box office bomb called babys day out  last years liveaction 101 dalmatians  and this years flubber  now  inexplicably  hughes has exhumed not only these wornout plot elements  but the  home alone  name as well  the result  1997s worst sequel  edging out speed 2 and batman and robin   home alone 3  by changing the characters  hughes  who wrote and coproduced the film   along with his coconspirator  director raja gosnell  has attempted to inject new life into a series that is way past the point of cardiac arrest  the new kid  alex pruitt  is played by alex d  linz  one fine day   and the only thing he has going for him is terminal cuteness  hes not half as interesting as macaulay culkin once was  the villains  pale copies of joe pesci and daniel stern  are even less engaging than the pair of idiots in flubber  in home alone 3  there are four of them  olek krupa  david thornton  lenny von dohlen  and rya kihlstedt   but all that means is an opportunity for twice as many pratfalls  this time  the kid isnt left home alone because his parents have gone on a trip  instead  he has developed a bad case of chicken pox  so he cant go to school  his dad  kevin kilner  is away on business and his mom  haviland morris  has to run errands  so  for the most part  hes all by himself during the day  through a series of coincidences too irritating to relate  a top secret u  s  air force integrated circuit comes into his possession  its wanted by a gang of four international crooks who intend to break into alexs home to retrieve it  the eight year old  who is wise beyond his years  booby traps the house with all sorts of rube goldbergtype devices designed to humiliate and incapacitate the villains  the movies climax takes place during a raging snowstorm  only none of the falling flakes looks remotely believable  previously  the most counterfeitlooking snow effects i can remember were in star trek iii  these are far worse  in fact  the production values are so shoddy that there are some scenes in the midst of this nearblizzard when a shining sun can be seen  if its a wonderful life could generate real looking snow back in the 1940s  why cant home alone 3  which has a significantly larger budget and 90s technology at its disposal  there has been an ongoing debate regarding the appropriateness of liveaction cartoon violence for young children  home alone 3 will add fuel to the fire  its one thing to see wyle e  coyote flattened by a 10 ton acme weight  but quite another to watch a running lawn mower fall on lenny von dohlen  adults and even older children will recognize that this is obviously fake and intended to be humorous  but what about five and sixyear olds  the level of violence in home alone 3 is extreme  many of alexs schemes are nasty enough to kill  but  because this is a  family film   no one dies  despite being electrocuted  falling thirty feet  and getting smacked on the head by a barbell  not only is home alone 3 unnecessary  but its offensive  its an exercise in tediousness  and there isnt a genuine laugh to be found from the beginning to the end  unless  by some strange quirk of fate  you have missed every 1990s movie associated with john hughes  and thus havent seen this stuff before   i cant imagine anyone with a reasonable attention span being more than momentarily distracted by this pointless adventure  maybe thats why the only ones laughing at the screening i attended were still in their thumbsucking years  
neg	conventional wisdom among collectibles retailers is that childrens items begin to dramatically escalate in price about twentyfive or thirty years after the item was made  thats when the kids of that time have jobs  disposable income and a desire to revisit the awe and wonderment of childhood that has disappeared from their lives  check out the prices of toys from the late sixties and youll find that yogi bear lunch boxes are demanding big bucks  theres a heavy nostalgia nowadays for the late sixties and early seventies and nowhere is it more apparent than on the big screen  boomers are now mostly in their forties and fifties and have lived in the workaday world for a long time  theyd like to recapture some of that fun they remember from days of yore  hollywood seems more than eager to churn out product to help them  directors are zealous to put their stamp on icons from that time  and for the most part theyre messing it up   mission impossible    lost in space    godzilla    zorro   none of these successfully capture the originals  none of these are even good films  you can now add  the avengers  to the list  the british television series began in 1961  super secret agent john steed  thenpatrick macnee  and his third partner  emma peel  thendiana rigg  are the pair that the american audience fell for  surrealistic and witty  the series fit the mood of the times  the leatherclad rigg probably didnt hurt the ratings either  after all its not a coincidence that you cant pronounce her characters name without  appeal   now were in the nineties  steed  nowralph fiennes  and peel  nowuma thurman  are battling evil genius sir august de wynter  sean connery  who is screwing with englands weather  thats about as much of a plot as we have  theres some footage about a lot of other things that either dont make sense or make even less sense  we get betrayal for some unknown reason  evil clones appear and vanish and have no connection to the film  remarkably ineffective giant flying robot wasps with machine guns in their belly come from nowhere for no good reason  theres a high tech hot air balloon  but i have no idea why anyones in it  the spy agency is run by a man called  mother  who is in a wheelchair and a woman named  father  who is blind    at least in some scenes  theres probably a reason for all of this  but well never know it  macnee makes an appearance of sorts  he is the voice for an invisible man whose character goes nowhere in a scene that does nothing  a group of villains sits around a table  all clad in huge pastelcolored teddy bear outfits  at first its humorous to watch the teddies waddle around  but then it becomes goofy  the movie is a medley of clutter  confusion and wrong decisions around every corner  it feels like major portions of the film are missing  the storyline jumps rather than flows  reportedly the film was recut several times  this is one of those times where the whole is less than the sum of the parts especially since some of the parts appear to be missing  theres one good point where peel is running from one room to another in a house designed by escher  other than that  the effects are secondrate  the weather threat is old hat as are the scenes of huge tornadoes  thurman almost makes an adequate emma peel but it doesnt work  she looks good  dresses in all the right fetish outfits but theres no spark  fiennes fares even less well  macnees steed was a witty man of the world with a sense of humor  fiennes agent comes across as a dour kid in grownup clothes who has never been out of his home town  even connery  one of the greatest living actors  doesnt have much of a presence outside of a few fiery scenes  the action scenes are difficult to follow  director jeremiah chechik  responsible for the atrocious remake of  diabolique   somehow manages to put the camera exactly where it shouldnt be  things happen  people move around  but even if  with the utmost effort  you were able to care about any of it  the scenes are bewildering  the primary allure of the original was the interaction between the two leads  witty banter and an underplayed sexual tension were a winning combination  admittedly there are a few humorous sexual puns in the film  but theres no chemistry and the repartee is anything but clever  one of emma peels first lines of dialog is  rules are made to be broken   it doesnt get any better  advance word alone should have been enough to scare off anyone  the release date was changed several times  connery refuses to promote the film  there was no screening for critics which may have been a good choice for warner brothers  at least this way  they get something of an audience for the first weekend before the news gets out  admittedly i havent seen an episode of the television series for a couple of decades  my guess is that it would be severely dated now  no matter how antiquated it might be  theres no doubt that it holds up better than this film is at first viewing  theres no reason to waste any part of the last few days of summer inside watching this movie  no reason at all  
neg	the following review encompasses two versions of dune  dune  the theatrical version  1984  runtime  137 minutes capsule review  cut down to just over two hours by nervous studio executives  the theatrical version of dune is a spectacular mess and may be incomprehensible to those unfamiliar with the book  the films visual splendour  mystical beauty and impressive action scenes only partly compensate for gaping holes in the narrative  dune  the extended version  1988  runtime  189 minutes capsule review  a bit of a throwtogether assembled by mca tv special projects for cable television  it was disowned by director david lynch but its considerably closer to his original vision by virtue of its improved characterisation and clearer storyline  quality dubs of this version from the outofprint japanese laserdisc release are available from various dealers on the world wide web     the review    released in 1984 and made on a then mammoth budget of 40 million  the film of frank herberts cult novel dune was eagerly awaited by scifi fans  director david lynch  blue velvet  eraserhead  twin peaks  was working on his biggest production to date  a mammoth undertaking filmed under trying conditions on location in mexico  the screenplay was lynchs own  chosen after the script submitted by original author herbert was rejected  dune is set in a universe ruled by powerful families overseen by a successive line of emperors  the key to cosmic power is the planet arrakis  dune   a windswept desert planet thats home to giant sandworms and the precious spice melange  the spice is the most valuable commodity in the universe  it extends the life and expands the consciousness of those who consume it  most importantly  it allows the navigators of the spacing guild  once human but now hideously mutated  to  fold space  and navigate their spacecraft across mammoth distances instantaneously  enabling interstellar commerce and trade to flourish  lynchs film by necessity excises parts of the book while retaining the storys two main strands  one is the longstanding rivalry between two families  houses atreides and house harkonnen  and their battle for lucrative mining rights on arrakis  the second strand is the emergence of young paul atreides as the reluctant messiah longawaited by the natives of arrakis  the fremen  the deeply religious fremen want control over their homeworld  and young paul may be the fulfilment of their prophecy that a man would come from the outer worlds and lead them to freedom  unfortunately  this epic story unfolds in a confusing and haphazard manner in the theatrical cut of the film  which runs 30 to 60 minutes shorter than what lynch originally intended  the thinking among universals ohsowise money men was that films over two hours in duration were not popular with audiences at the time and would not do well at the box office  with lynchs initial cut running at closer to three or more hours  the studio demanded that further cuts be made  what a great idea  why not trim down an already complex film so as to make it almost incomprehensible  the most glaring consequence of this oneeyed stupidity is a hopelessly jumpy narrative  leaving us with badly underdeveloped characters  thus their personalities are vague  their motivations unclear and  in the case of pauls father duke leto  their demise rather meaningless  the end result is a distinct chill  we cant warm to most of the cast and we dont care much for them  and it hardly helps that the voiceover narration is sparse and that the duneesque language and terminology sounds like so much gobbledegook to those unfamiliar with the book  dune is also a very serous film  the constant  selftalk  by various characters makes it so serious and selfabsorbed at times that you may find it hard not to wince with embarrassment  the overall impression is a world full of people so intense that no one is allowed a joke lest the universe come crashing down around them  humour  or at least a gentle kind of humour as distinct from the harkonnens mad  sadistic kind  is hard to find  you may balk at the comparison  but as a writer lynch could well have done with some lessons from george lucus star wars trilogy  the theatrical version is still some way from being a complete disaster  however  it still possesses enough of lynchs stylistic quirks and enough visual invention to sustain the interest of viewers with a taste for imaginative scifi  special effects whiz carlo rambaldis giant sandworms are an awesome sight  both the production design  anthony masters  and costume design  bob ringwood  are striking and original  and the magnificent score by toto and brian eno is one of the most underrated soundtracks of the last twenty years  with these elements in place and the benefit of freddie francis lush cinematography  the film is at least a feast for the senses  see it in the widescreen format if you can  and despite all the cuts  several cast members still make a strong impression  most notably kenneth mcmillan as the supremely nasty baron vladimir harkonnen  sian phillips also registers strongly as the reverend mother gaius helen mohiam  leader of the bene gesserit religious order whos secret aim is to manipulate pauls destiny for its own shadowy ends  as paul atreides  the young kyle maclachlan starts off somewhat shakily  but as his character grows in strength so does his performance and he emerges as a credible leader of the fremen crusade  the conclusion  any assessment of this film must take into account that frank herberts original novel is a complex piece of work and presents a tough challenge for any filmmaker  david lynch took a brave stab at it and  partly due to forces beyond his control  ended up with an officially released version that fails in several key respects  dune certainly confused and frustrated a lot of people on its release  many chose to stay away altogether  as the films disastrous box office showing attests  the extended version  however  is a rather different beast  in 1984 lynch stated his intention to release his own special edition  directors cut  of the film on home video  a clear indication of his dissatisfaction with the version that ended up in the theatres  but  alas  he failed to do so  choosing to move on to other projects  in a way  then  it is partly lynchs own fault that what appeared instead was an unauthorised extended version  put together in 1988 by mca tv special projects for airing on cable networks in the usa  stung into action  lynch successfully petitioned the directors guild to take his name off the credits and replace it with  allen smithee   the standard pseudonym for directors who wish to disown their own work  he also had the screenwriting credit changed to the anonymous  judas booth   certainly  looking at the results of mcas handiwork theres at least half a dozen instances that  for sheer technical sloppiness  are good enough reasons for the director to object  but these gripes must be considered in light of the improvements that the extended cut of dune offers in several crucial areas  most of the changes involve the restoration or extension of cut scenes and the addition of extra narration  both of which fill many holes in the original versions storyline  pauls relationship with his father and associates is more intimate  with moments of humour and warmth lacking previously  the political skulduggery involving the emperor  the spacing guild  the bene gesserits and the two warring houses is far better explained  pauls initiation into the fremen way of life on arrakis is also fleshed out considerably  and as further background  a new prologue has been added featuring narration and painted stills to give us a brief history of the dune universe  as a piece of storytelling  then  mca tvs version of dune is clearly superior  as a piece of editing  however  it is at times surprisingly inept  the use of painted stills in the new prologue works well enough  but their occasional appearance once the action begins is inappropriate  theres some sloppy cutting  too  and in a few instances shots even appear out of order  and the use of repeated footage to fabricate certain scenes  eg  ships coming and going  soldiers coming and going  is at times clearly outofcontext  this is the kind of thing to which lynch objected  and rightly so  it should also be noted that several questionable scenes and shots from the theatrical version were deleted to satisfy the censorship demands of u  s  television  but the most notable omission is a gratuitous piece of nonsense from lynch that wasnt even in herberts book  the scene features baron harkonnen killing a beautiful young man in front of his slobbering henchmen by pulling out his  heart plug   its a surreal and disturbing episode thats very lynchesque but adds nothing to what we already know  the baron is a nasty piece of work  despite its own peculiar flaws  then  the extended version of dune is a generally superior film  all up  it contains 35 minutes of restored footage and approximately another 15 minutes of either altered  fabricated or newly created sequences  unless the idiosyncratic lynch has a sudden change of heart  the  alan smithee  version remains the closest well get to what the movie should have been  on repeated viewings  one suspects it is closer than what lynch would be prepared to admit  still  as one of this centurys great sciencefiction novels  some fans and perhaps the late herbert himself would argue that dune deserved a better fate in its transfer to the screen  with rumours circulating of a new six hour miniseries planned by production company new amsterdam entertainment in 1998  it is unlikely that we have heard the last of the dune saga  
neg	in 1970s  many european intellectuals  especially those on the left political hemisphere  became obsessed with the rise of fascism  which wasnt so hard to expect  because the social turmoil of 1960s and economic decline of 1970s seemed to be the breeding ground for many dangerous ideologies  in such times  when political involvement could be associated with noble passion  many filmmakers tried to warn the present generations of dangers that lurk ahead by giving the look of prewar europe and circumstances that led to phenomena like fascist italy and nazi germany  of course  there were authors who jumped on the bandwagon for other  less noble reasons  for them  moral depravity of fascism could be explained to the audience by explicitly showing sexual depravity of those era  which  naturally  made some of those films very popular among teen audience  one of such filmmakers was italian director tinto brass  who later made career shooting expensive  stylish soft porn  salon kitty  his 1976 film  is very losely based on the novel by peter nordern  book that deals with bizarre yet true story that took place in the first years of ww2  in 1939  walter schellenberg  one of the heads of nazi intelligence service has set up the elite  exclusive brothel in berlin with clientele comprised of top nazi officials and foreign diplomats  none of the customers knew that the girls were all nazi agents  and that all the rooms happened to be bugged  the most bizarre thing is the fact that not even kitty  nominal madame of the brothel  didnt know the real purpose of that enterprise  screenplay by tinto brass  of course  simplifies the story and changes few names  schellenberg is now wallenberg  helmut berger   ambitious nazi official who wants to use the brothel in order to blackmail his way to the top  kitty kellerman  ingrid thulin   apart from being madam  has a second job as a cabaret singer  caught in the net of depravity is sweet  innocent girl margerithe  theresa ann savoy  thrown into brothel  there she falls in love with customer hans reiter  bekim fehmiu   disenchanted pilot of luftwaffe  when margerithe discovers that her lover had been executed for defeatist speeches he made in the brothel  she finds out that the place is bugged  she informs the madam of the real situation  and both women decide to confront wallenberg  those who tend to bash benigni for exploiting holocaust as the topic of comedy would probably go bananas watching this film  that uses the darkest pages of european history for cheap sexploitation  but  although salon kitty doesnt happen to be anything more than rather more stylish and expensive soft porn  although not very successful  some of supposedly erotic scenes are quite unappealing   it does try to have more multidimensional characters and even something resembling dramatic conflict  this time between powerhungry and scruples wallenberg and hedonistic womanhood symbolised by kitty  unfortunately  brass seems to overuse other cinematical references  probably thinking that he could repeat the successful interaction of berger and thulin in luchino viscontis the damned  but the most noticeable and irritating is ingrid thulins unsuccessful attempt to imitate lisa minellis musical numbers from cabaret  all in all  salon kitty is failure  although with some very interesting moments  
neg	dr dolittle  20th century fox  running time  1 hour 25 minutes starring eddie murphy directed by betty thomas riding high on the success of the nutty professor  1996   murphy returns in this abysmal comedy  he plays doctor john dolittle  who as a child had the ability to understand animals  however  after being exorcised he loses this ability  and we fast forward to see dolittle in a crummy job surrounding by crummy people  most notably dr mark weller  played by oliver platt   however  with a bonk on the head his ability to understand animals returns  and comedy is ready and waiting to happen  except comedy never does happen  doctor dolittle  even with the excellent premise  rarely manages to raise a laugh  poor old murphy looks bored stiff throughout the whole movie  and his performance suffers  the manic murphy we saw in the 80s is gone  his more mature  and more boring  twin appears to be getting all the work in the 90s  the voices of the animals  which include albert brooks  chris rock  the new eddie murphy  and norm mcdonald as lucky the dog are marginally better  and at least they put enthusiasm in the movie  sadly  most of their lines are pretty dumb  and theyre not funny dumb  like dumb  dumber  1994   but just boring dumb  the film even succumbs to fart jokes halfway through  in a desperate attempt to raise some laughs  there are a few good jokes in the script  but they are few and far between  if i had to choose a favourite performance  it would probably be albert brooks tiger  who has a certain charm about him  sadly  hes barely in the movie  and rocks really annoying hamster is given far too much screen time  joke wise  we are thankfully  spared the mocking and insulting type of jokes that featured heavily in the nutty professor  the director  betty thomas  has  well  done better films  she bought us private parts  1997  and the brady bunch movie  1995  which were  sadly  much better than this  the scenes lack any charm  she just gets the job done  the animals themselves  are reasonable realistic  although most of them are obviously puppets  theres an impressive looking tiger  however  and the lip sync is pretty good  youd have no problem guessing that most of the close ups are puppets  however  with their jilted movement  i was hoping jim hensons workshop  who created the furry friends  would have done a better job  doctor dolittle  in the end  is a disappointment for everyone involved  murphy has done much better movies  i  e trading places  the director has seen better days  and even the creatures arent that good  the target audience  aged between 713  who are undemanding  will probably like it however  thanks to its dumbed down humour  everyone else  however  should give doctor dolittle a miss  
neg	the generals daughter is a heartless  absurd film  a movie so hopelessly dedicated to its inane plot that it forgets entirely about its own characters  director simon west treats issues like rape and sexual fetish with hamhanded obscenity  creating a film that banks almost entirely on exploitation and offensive pseudodepth  whats worse is that the movie is haphazardly glued together by two characters who are neither interesting nor sympathetic  the ridiculous story requires them to do unbelievable things in the interest of reaching a dark conclusion in a sudden rain storm  john travolta finds himself in the middle of the mess  playing warrant officer paul brenner  brenner is assigned to find the murderer and rape of captain elizabeth campbell  leslie stefanson   daughter of general joe campbell  james cromwell   brenner is teamed up with exspouse sarah sunderland  madeline stowe   and they check out all the suspects on the base  including elizabeths mentor  colonel moore  james woods   soon  it becomes apparent that elizabeth was into kinky sexual stuff  but the question comes down to why  and  of course  who  eberts law of the economy of characters can be applied here  one interesting thing i noted is that not only are all the characters suspects at some point  including the two protagonists   but almost all of them end up directly intertwined with the story  perhaps i should have issued a spoiler alert before mentioning that  but its painfully obvious from the beginning that everyone in the film is hiding something  on a story level  the generals daughter is ineptly constructed  the film  adapted by christopher bertolini and william goldman from nelson demilles novel  which was apparently based on a true story   plods along to its conclusion  filling in the blanks with stale  unrealistic dialogue and  shocking  plot developments  having not read the novel  its difficult to determine if these problems are the fault of the adapters or the original author  but i suppose they all are guilty to some degree  scene after scene stumbles with pointless insincerity  minutes after finding the dead young woman  brenner and sunderland engage in sarcastic dialogue  which includes endless strings of forced lines   sunderland actually asks brenner   why was she killed   to which i would have answered   if i knew  then the movie would already be over    only after weve spent twenty minutes or so with these characters do we learn that they have a sordid history together  this angle  though apparently present to develop their characters  is never explored  not that it really matters  since the characters consistently do ludicrous things for no other reason than to drive the plot  in one scene  sunderland is attacked by a man in a mask  she sees one of his rings  and she and brenner find the man later that day based on the ring  instead of questioning him like as they would a real suspect  they take him to brenners houseboat  beat him up  and pour hot coffee in his lap  this scene really pushed me over the edge  not because its gratuitous and meanspirited  but because it illustrates the films complete disregard for the characters and the audience  it was impossible for me to feel anything for these people beyond this scene  mostly because nothing they do comes as a surprise  i realized that these constructs on screen arent actually characters  but devices present only to serve the story  this would have been bad enough without the wests need to hose his movie down in tasteless images of rape and sexual misconduct  compelling films about sexual crimes dont spend a lot of time on rape flashbacks  and they certainly dont show as much skin and sweat as a typical pornographic picture  these scenes are not the least bit powerful  on the contrary  theyre intended simply to provide the audience with the necessary resentment for the villain  whomever that may turn out to be  in addition  the movie treats sexual fetishes  and sadomasochism in particular  as if its a perversion of everything we know to be pure  this standpoint is certainly allowed  but only in accompaniment with welldeveloped themes to back it up  as it is  the film forgets that a lot of people have sexual fetishes  and that putting on a pair of handcuffs does not make a person insane  perhaps the only positive elements in the generals daughter are a couple of the performances  james woods has a few terrific scenes  and plays his role with sharp  witty subtlety  i also liked james cromwell  mostly because he comes across as slightly sympathetic despite the obvious intent of west to make him villainous  nonetheless  these performances are undermined entirely by the dreary  obligatory atmosphere and the senseless neglect of characterization  the generals daughter is the worst kind of hollywood film  it pretends to have a soul  to be of strict moral code  when in fact it has nothing more than a group of cardboard cutouts forcefeeding the audience a toxic landfill of plot contrivances and onesided moral judgments  
neg	disneys  air bud  tells a boyandhisdog story with a twist  the pooch is quite an accomplished basketball player  granted  for a family comedy  its not a very funny or successful idea to begin with  but it doesnt seem to matter   air bud  is surprisingly solemn  save for occasional moments of forced slapstick  the movie wags its tale with a straight face  not a very enjoyable approach  if  air bud  had realized its own absurdity  then it possibly could have been better  here  were actually asked to cheer a moment when the dog marches out to save the big game  clad in two pairs of sneakers and even a jersey  its number  k9  yeah  whatever  the movie opens as golden retriever buddy  as himself  escapes from his current owner  abusive clownforhire norm snively  michael jeter   he ends up in fernwell  washington  where mopey newkidontheblock josh  kevin zegers  is trying to cope with the move and the recent death of his father  buddy  kevin  kevin  buddy  once the dog proves his oncourt prowess  kevins selfesteem rockets  they both win places in the schools basketball team  with the animal as their mascot  but before they can make it to the finals  snively surfaces to reclaim buddy  everything plays out just as one would think  heavy on predictability  light on an actual story  the movie follows a calculated chain of events  kevins gloom fades  snively gets his comeuppance and buddy contracts rabies and must be executed old yellerstyle  okay  that last ones a lie  but at least it would have been a quicker sendoff than  air bud  s courtroom climax  no joke  theres even a fauxcute musical montage where a reluctant buddy gets cleanedup to  splish splash   paint cans are spilled and newspapers are buried  all in the name of formula  the end credits note that  no special visual effects were used in the basketball sequences of this motion picture   that very well may be true  and although to see a dog sink shots is quite a sight  a movie cannot exist on feat alone  but  air bud  doesnt seem to be interested in anything else  a friend of mine insists he saw buddy a while back on a segment of david lettermans  stupid pet tricks   i cant think of a more appropriate connection  this movie is a stupid pet trick  
neg	a few months before the release of star wars episode 1  the phantom menace  20th century fox decides to release another space film  that is a complete rip off of star wars  what is the point of this  i do not know  but i wish it hadnt been done  considering wing commander is definitely the years worst film so far  to attract people to this horrible movie  they attached the full trailer for the phantom menace  wing commander will draw large crowds  because this is the only film where you can find the phantom menace full trailer attached at this time  the trailer for the phantom menace was certainly the best part of the movie experience i had tonight  many people do not know that wing commander is based on a star wars computer game  i found this very interesting  considering this fact almost says that wing commander is a star wars movie  it is nowhere near the level of the star wars films though  freddie prinze jr  stars in the film as christopher blair  wing commander was a huge mistake for freddie  this was definitely his worst performance to date  after januarys shes all that  i actually saw a good actor in freddie  but now all those visions have been crushed   for now anyway   christopher blair is a pilot who is a part of the battle to stop the kilrathi  a group that is trying to destroy the earth  blairs parents also fought in the space battles  and also died there  his parents were pilgrims  so many people disrespect him because of this  blair is under the command of  angel   played by saffron burrows  and he is friends with another pilot  todd  maniac marshall   played by matthew lillard  matthew lillard seems to play the same role in every movie  and he does in this one too  his character as stu in 1996s scream  a   was a great one  but now  it seems like that same role is being played again  only in a space movie  the three are just a small part of a large group trying to stop the kilrathi before they take over earth  this plot is very flimsy  and doesnt give a whole lot to work with at all  this explains why wing commander drags on  seeming like there is no point to any of the events that are going on  the acting is horrible in wing commander  many lines seem out of place  and are completely meaningless  the acting and dialogue was so terrible  i even found myself laughing at it  the other things which are very bad about wing commander are the special effects and the music  the special effects are very unrealistic  when looking at two ships flying side by side  it is simple to tell they are hanging and a blue screen is behind them  the explosions look very unrealistic as well  a ship will be blown up  but there will only be fire present four about one half of a second  this is very unrealistic  music pretty much accompanies the film the entire time  the music also felt like video game music  and it was very corny and annoying sounding  after we are given the plot  the film repeats itself for another hour  without any plot twists  interesting scenes  or anything important to the film  blair is forced to make jumps over other planets  and he must also fight against the kilrathi aircraft  for the entire length of the movie  it takes place in space  it is truly like you are in a video game  because you are just watching people shoot at each other in ships for a long  extended period of time  its not much fun to watch at all  if i wanted to watch people shoot at each other in ships  i would go watch star wars at home  at least star wars pays attention to people  myth  feelings  and has some real plot to it  the bottom line bring on the phantom menace 20th century fox  
neg	bad movies described as  a swift descent into sinful pleasure  decay  and debauchery  are hard to watch  bad 2000s movies that resemble bad 1980s films are even harder to watch  shadow hours falls into the latter category  a mishmashed train wreck of bmovie actors  including michael dorn  aka star treks worf   an uninteresting plot  vain attempts at capitalizing on the  underground  scenes of seedy los angeles  and really  really bad directing and horrendous music videoesque ballistic editing that was taught to me in film school right before i decided to drop out  the film revolves around the life of michael holloway  balthazar getty  who is trying to restart his life with his onedimensional wife chloe  rebecca gayheart  after a nasty bout of drug and alcohol addictions  michael takes a job of working the graveyard shift at the local gas station and is bombarded by the ugliness and weirdness of the nightlife of l  a  one night  he meets a strange gent named stuart  mr  buckaroo banzai  peter weller   he drives a porsche  smokes french cigarettes  and drones on about life  eventually coaxing mike into exploring the  underbelly  of l  a  together  a tour of punk bars  sm clubs  and bareknuckle fights  the film then throws in a murder mystery with a cop played peter greene  acting like he wants to get the chance at a reprisal of his role in the mask 2  the film then simply dissolves into a cheap ripoff of dantes inferno mixed with an old stephen j  cannell television pilot  the pace of the film is jarring and utterly without focus  other horrors include the endless montages of people pumping gas and the charlie sheen  johnny depp  richard griecoesque acting of balthazar getty  peter weller clearly knows his career is completely gone and doesnt give two shits about it  and after the cheap exploitation of bondage clubs  dance clubs  and brothels  damn  isnt anyone safe any more from the ugly eye of hollywood   way back in 1984  a great but crazy director named abel ferrara made his worse film and called it fear city  shadow hours reminds me of an almost perfect sequel  directorwriter  isaac eaton producers  peter alevey  andrea mia  shon greenblatt  balthazar getty starring  balthazar getty  peter weller  rebecca gayheart  peter greene  frederic forrest  brad douriff  michael dorn 
neg	bruce willis needs to stay away from straightforward action pictures  mercury rising adds to a growing list  including such stinkers as the jackal  last man standing  striking distance and the last boy scout  of stale actioners he has headlined  and though mercury rising tries to spice things up by throwing an autistic kid in the mix  it is every bit as stale  art jeffries  bruce willis  is your typical tormented fbi agent  you know the type  haunted by his job  yet so good at what he does that even physically assaulting another agent merely gets him a slap on the wrist  enter simon  miko hughes   an autistic boy  who  like rain man and all other autistic people  is a savant  he can merely gaze at a superencrypted message  and  while little computer beeps go off in his head  he can understand what it says  naturally  this talent has brought him to the attention of the federal government  lt  col  nicholas kudrow  alec baldwin   an nsa official bubbling over with evil  has spent countless time and money implementing the newest  unbreakable  code  mercury  however  when two of his underlings  robert stanton and bodhi pine elfman  publish a mercuryencrypted message in a puzzle magazine as a final test of its effectiveness  simon cracks the code  naturally  this infuriates kudrow  who sends a terminatorlike hitman  l  l  ginter  to eliminate the security hazard  and thats where art jeffries comes in  for some reason thats never explained in the film  the fbi is called in to help  and through a series of intricate machinations  art becomes the sole protector of the young autistic boy  in a few unrealistic sequences  he enlists the aid of a stranger  stacey  kim dickens   to help out  but she is given very little to do overall  the central concept behind mercury rising is ludicrous  why bother trying to kill the kid    i mean  who would know  its not like the kid  or anyone else for that matter  knew he was cracking a government supercypher  and even if he is eliminated  what does that help  hes already proven that mercury can be broken  theres always the chance that someone else would crack it    but i guess without a kid in jeopardy  theres not much of a movie here  for all its faults  the film actually starts relatively well  once you pass the painfully familiar teaser   the film flirts with developing real characters  and a semblance of a plot    then mr  terminator the hitman appears and everything begins going downhill    quickly  miko hughes does a decent job  for his age  at creating a touching performance  however  dont go to this film looking for any new insights into autism  not that many people will   instead he merely becomes the latest unique partner in a routine buddycop movie  think cop and a half    with a twist   willis and baldwin are just overplaying to type  rather than creating a nuanced character  baldwin simply oozes sliminess  and for willis part  he simply recycles the stock role of the loner copfbi agent  which he has honed in the die hard series   as almost an afterthought  about halfway through  the film carelessly gives him a character trait  an addiction   and then drops it in the next scene  but the biggest problem with mercury rising is the screenplay  this film wasnt well thought out at all  the film goes to extraordinary lengths to pad in as many convenient coincidences as possible  the carbon paper scene alone is unworthy of the most gullible audience member  at first the bad scenes just trickle in  but by the gruesomely bad finale theyre a veritable flood  the films few decent moments come in the form of bad jokes  mainly from the geeks who developed the supercode   but theyre not nearly enough to make the film worthwhile  mercury rising is a thriller that youre more likely to groan at than cheer  
neg	capsule  godawful  comedy  thats amazingly shabby and cutrate  and rather bereft of laughs  i was having a bad week in my life when i saw austin powers  international man of mystery  i desperately needed something to cheer me up  or at least distract me so i could get a clear head  get some perspective  even dumb movies can do that for me  sometimes  i tried hard not to let my dejection affect my judgment  but i am certain now that austin powers would have also sucked rocks through bamboo shoots on the day i won the lottery  michael myers has taken a character that would barely have supported a fiveminute sketch on saturday night live and stretched it to the length of a feature film  padding it out with toilet jokes and the sort of propsstrategicallypositionedbetweennakedactorsandcamera gags that benny hill got tired of fifteen years ago  the plot  what little there is of it  back in the swinging mod hep sixties  i dont think im doing a disservice to the movies attempted early look and feel by describing it that way   sexy british secret agent austin powers tangled with his nemesis dr  evil  evil launched himself into orbit and cryogenically forze himself to return decades later  when powers was out of the picture  powers also had himself frozen  and he wakes up to find the nineties a very hard time to deal with  the basic gag  that of powers total inability to cope with the nineties  is not so much exhausted during the course of the movie as never even really dealt with  the bulk of the movie is taken up with dumb jokes of several basic rubrics  james bond gags  of which this movie has no end  right down to the silly character names   inept slapstick  toilet humor  and strategically placed props    the movies amazingly bereft of ideas  come to think of it  with a couple of bright exceptions  one is dr  evils son  there is a sidesplitting scene where father and son go to an encounter group  chaired by carrie fisher  and the other is a throwaway gag where austin mimics various forms of transportation from behind a couch  its a visual gag  hard to describe  and hard to recommend seeing the movie for   a lot of sixties kitsch has been resurrected and thrown on the screen for this movie  but its desperate rather than clever  instead of skewering the whole thing  its a rather bloodless and unfunny tribute  myers himself is also desperate  hes given an idea to play  not a character  plus  the attempts to make the character work by giving him a relationship with another sexy  albeit  nineties   agent are a waste of time  i wanted to have the movie end with him trying yet again to get it on with her  only to have her deck him one  with a couple of exceptions  the movie misses all of its own best moments  the movie even looks cheesy  and not in a good way  i kept wondering if it had been transferred down from hidef video or something  so grainy was the film stock in a good many scenes  the whole thing has the air of being done on the cheap  my definition of comedy is simply  did it make me laugh  the few times that i laughed in austin powers were completely offset by the time i spent cringing and wanting out  the most damning thing i could say about the movie is that wayne and garth would most likely have shoved it into mike tysons shorts and sent it sailing  
neg	battlefield earth is the worst film of 2000  and i guarantee you that nothing else this year will even come close  in fact  ill be surprised if i see anything this bad in the next ten years  based on the novel by scientology guru l  ron hubbard  battlefield earth begins and we immediately find out two pieces of key information  its the year 3000  and an alien race called the psychlos  which sounds like a tag team of mexican wrestlers  conquered our planet in nine minutes  ok  we are all of 10 seconds in and i have a zillion questions racing through my mind  when were we conquered  the audience is led to believe that this happened about 1  000 years earlier  and if that is the case then were going to get into a whole bunch of problems later  trust me    keep reading   also  why dont we get to see earth get conquered  how the hell do you make a popcorn scifi flick and not deliver the goods on the one event that sets up the film  humans now live as cavemen or slave labor  and for the films first act we focus on one particular cavemen group outside of denver  colorado  they grunt and groan and babble about monsters  so  when the psychlos conquered earth  were the only humans not captured a herd of newborn babies that crawled their way to safety in the hills  none of these characters have any knowledge of the planet being conquered  whenever that was   this is definitely not the way to start an actionscifi film  one of the humans wanders out into the wilderness and stumbles across what he thinks is a monster  and he begins to fight it  the  monster  turns out to be a dinosaur from an old miniature golf course  he turns around and sees all sorts of other characters from the golf course  with some shrubs growing over them  so  in 1  000 years this stupid little golf course has stood the test of time  with only a few weeds growing over it  anyway  some of the humans are captured by the psychlos led by terl  john travolta  a smarmy and opportunistic alien planning on stealing a recently discovered gold deposit  the cavemen  led by barry pepper  are forced to do their bidding or whatever  but eventually they gain the upper hand and reclaim the planet  or something  so these cavemen are able to do what earth failed to do 1  000 years earlier  and  were supposed to believe that earth was conquered in nine minutes by a group of buffoonish aliens who cant even handle a few cavemen  one of the ways the humans reclaim the planet is by taking control of abandoned air force jets and using them to fight the psychlos  so jets left unattended for 1  000 years are still able to fly  please  if i leave my car unattended for two weeks i have to replace every fluid and hose under the hood  why did the psychlos leave jets around anyway  shouldnt they have destroyed military installations during their massive nine minute campaign against us  the psychlos refer to humans as  man animals  but yet dogs are still  dogs   why arent they  dog animals   the psychlos are after mining earths precious resources  but for 1  000 years are unaware of fort knox  why do i even care at this point  im a fan of travoltas and im glad to see hes back on the alist in hollywood  despite the fact that he occasionally puts out crowd pleasing dreck like michael and phenomenon   but how did he possibly think this was a good movie  and how did he think he was giving a good performance here  hes more than capable of making a menacing villain  see broken arrow and faceoff  but whenever his character came on screen i couldnt hold back my laughter  now despite the different facial features members of this alien race seem to have  travolta just looks like travolta  all of the other aliens have weird foreheads or other pointy bones on their face  but travolta just has a goatee  also  travoltas acts with a sort of phony upperclass snooty accent and constantly whines about bureaucratic nonsense back on his home world  ooooo  scary villain  as a producer he should know better and as an actor he should definitely know better  you can make a dumb but good scifi film  i love independence day for example   but there is absolutely nothing entertaining about battlefield earth  i did everything i possibly could to stay awake during the screening    i cleaned my glasses  walked around the theater  made a grocery list  chose my lottery numbers for the week  replayed super bowl xxv in my head  with commercials     and still was compelled to scrutinize the insides of my eyelids  by the time we actually reach the year 3000  people should still be avoiding this film  folks  save your cash   dont go see it  dont rent it  and dont buy it  youd be more entertained by taking the money youd use for this movie and just throwing it into the wind  watching it sail away  hell  send it to us here at the jacksonville film journal    well entertain you plenty with that kind of money   unless of course youre just captivated by countless slow motion shots of barry pepper running  which is just about all youll come away with from this movie  that  and a headache  editors note  for some reason though  the day after my screening i converted to scientology  im not sure why    something just made me feel compelled make the choice   
neg	jet li busted onto the american action movie scene  when he stole the show in 1998s lethal weapon 4  with his wicked looks  his nasty moves and his undeniable charisma  it only took another two years for megaproducer joel silver to set him up in an allamerican movie  primed to take over some of the empty actionhero seats left by alleged cokehead van damme and that pudgy guy named steven seagal  would this film take li past his rival asian action counterparts  namely chow yunfat and jackie chan  lets find out  plot  rival chinese and black gangster organizations fall further out of favor from one another  when members of their respective families start turning up dead  thats when badass jet li blasts into the picture to find out who the men were behind his brothers death and to exact some of his own style of revenge  critique  three words  not enough action  simple enough  not enough hong kong kickass jet li action to compensate for a horribly predictable screenplay  bad actors  crappy dialogue and ohso many overthetop melodramatic moments  and a romance angle  why  one must ask    why  i love fight scenes and i really dig jet li too  but this little ditty barely contained three memorable action sequences  and jet  well  the poor dude was barely in the movie  and i thought this was supposed to be his big break  how bout giving the slickster some more opportunities to show us his kungfu fighting chops  slap him in a few more scenes  and give him more chances to practice his actingenglish abilities  what a letdown  even black mask was more entertaining than this glossed up  empty shell of a film  in fact  i am sure that more time was spent gathering the  hits  for the soundtrack of this film  than were on the socalled  screenplay   i felt like i was watching a soundtrack rather than a movie most of the time  the sad part about the bad script is that it wouldnt matter so much if the film actually had some decent actors spouting out the tacky lines  but no  save lindo and aaliyah  who werent too shabby  i thought the rest of the cast was picked primarily from their inability to deliver lines convincingly  and what was the deal with the whole nfl franchise deal run by some 15year old looking guy  acting like hes the overlord of a drug ring   what a mess  then again  i dont want it to seem like im complaining solely about the story which was completely foreseeable  since we all go to see these movies for the action anyway  not the story  well  i guess thats what disappointed me the most out of this film  there were a couple of cool fight scenes with li  but simply not enough to satisfy my overall craving  also  as much as i love the way they incorporate wires and special effects in some of their stunts  a couple of the exaggerated fight scenes were simply too obvious a stunt  it should be seamless  fellas  not necessarily against the laws of gravity  the one cool thing that was original in the movie was the way in which the director showed us some of the inside cracklings of the human body when penetrated by a blow  but that simple creative touch couldnt save the rest of this films uninteresting plot movements  im disappointed for jet li that this film didnt give him the real opportunity to star in a good story with many great action scenes  hopefully  the next time will be a charm for this charismatic actor  for now  i just hope that for his sake  the films title isnt a premonition of the movies ultimate fate at the boxoffice  
neg	one night  during a torrential downpour that flooded the streets  we went to see  what else  hard rain   so  are we all going to die   the sheriff  randy quaid  asks in the storys opening line as he evacuates his flooded town  the answer is pretty much yes  but not nearly soon enough  and to add insult to injury  the supposedly dead  regretfully  often turn out not to be so  populating this bad tvmovieoftheweek material are a host of talented actors  one can only hope they were rewarded handsomely for acting in this hopelessly muddled picture  besides the obvious hardships of acting most scenes while dog paddling in the water  they will all receive black marks on their records for appearing in this dismal movie  graham yosts script serves up one cliche after another for the actors  who thankfully managed to mumble quite a few of the lines  director mikael salomons staging is so confusing that you may have trouble figuring out what is happening  the befuddled presentation is exacerbated by peter menzies  jr  s dark and ugly cinematography  the plot concerns an armored car that gets stuck in the raging water  onboard are guards tom and his uncle charlie  christian slater  who is much better in his tender roles as in untamed heart  plays tom  edward asner drops by briefly to take on the role of the soon to be dead charlie  coming to their  rescue  is a gang headed by jim  played on autopilot by the great actor morgan freeman  he views the loot  three million dollars worth  as his retirement plan  the entire movie is one big watery chase with the sheriff and his posse tracking jim and his gang  who are in turn after tom  along the way  tom picks up a love interest in the person of a crucifixweapon wielding woman named karen  played in a totally wasted performance by minnie driver  the action sequences are repetitive and without much interest  they do feature lots of explosions and gunfire to keep you awake  christopher youngs emotionless score for the film has a single trait  earshattering loudness  the plot holes are as big as the ones in the dam that breaks  submerging the town  the characters have an infinite number of bullets and rarely do they have to bother reloading their guns  the weapons and the ammunition spend most of the time under water or being rained on but always fire perfectly  when one of the bad guys drops a gun into the water  it stays in the same place until much later when tom swims to get it  even though the swift water is so strong it is uprooting large trees  counting these improbabilities is one of the more enjoyable ways to spend your time as you wait for the characters to kill each other  the show has a single  but unprintable  good line  betty white plays an incessantly bossy wife  and  when her henpecked husband finally told her off  our audience roared with laughter  the show concludes with a sickening set of twists  the best that can be said of the picture is that it is merely stupefyingly awful as opposed to laughably bad  hard rain runs 1  37  it is rated r for violence and would be fine for teenagers   the two families behind us shockingly had a halfdozen preschoolers among them   
neg	it was with a huge lack of something to do that i decided to watch this on good old upn on sunday afternoon  when the only good things on tv are the secondrate movies they show  some are good  they showed  total recall  before this one   if you know me  i think seagal is probably the most boring action star to ever live  and this includes keanu reeves  what do i hate about seagal  i hate how he uses one facial expression for every single threatening and nonthreatening situation  the squint   i hate those scenes in every movie where he goes around  bullying people up  saying stupid lines with a brooklyn accent more fake than burt reynolds hairpiece in  boogie nights   i despise how he never gets a bruise in any of his fights  i hate how every single plot twist leads to just a melodramatic fight between he and the chief villain  i hate his nonsatirical messages  in the beginning of this one  he slaps on a quote from arthur miller  which has nothing to do with the film  except its about brooklyn where this film takes place   and i hate how hes so narcissistic that he thinks that he can actually fucking sing  during the end credits  he has a good old hill billy rock tune sung and penned by him   sure  the guys probably a nice guy in person  i actually found him very nonthreatening when he was on letterman not too long ago   but the guy makes worse films than reagan did  so whats the plot of this shitterpiece  well    something about him trying to catch a stupidass crook  william forsythe  who shot and killed his partner in broad daylight  i couldnt believe how bad this scene was  the guy was conveniently with his family so we get the maximum emotional effect  ahem    and forsythe even said some stupid lines to him before he took off  im sorry  did anyone ever hear of concealing ones self  so in comes exbrooklynite seagal  who dedicates his life to catching this guy  and i just wished he had caught him in the beginning  then ended the film  but noooo  this drags on  as he bullies forsythes family members  including a stupid barowner  and none other than gina gershon as his other barowner sister   and forsythe more than once threatens his family  at one point  he actually comes to their house and stalks them like a nonthreatening nicholson in  the shining   complete with them all hiding in the bathroom  but with an added bonus of one girl conveniently loosing her cool and screaming to give them away   seagal paints himself as a lovable person  with a son  and a fiancee  he even shows him hanging with his son  checking up on his homework  and then about to take him out for a bit of  catch   when hes conveniently called away on assignment  i dunno about you  but playing  catch  with seagal was one of my childhood nightmares  he also shows him as that badass he wants to be  with scenes of him bullying crooks around  and taking out people who are stupid enough to attack him even after hes unarmed a chinese guy swinging bats with a pool cue  serves them right  this film  as some of his do  has an interesting supporting cast of actors who are actually talented  but dont appear to be in this film  i already mentioned gina gershon  whos pretty horrible in this one   as well as william forsythe  who overacts terribly  i know this guy can act  he was awesome in  raising arizona  as goodmans partner in crime  but hes just awful here  jerry orbach gives the only credible performance in the film as the police chief who checks up on segal after things have gone down  why is he the only one who gives a good performance  well  because his role is small enough and sporadic enough to not tarnish his credibility  he seems to be in here just to give it a cool  law and order  feeling  even if its not a  cool  feeling   and in cameos are brated eroticthrillercinemaxstyle stars  shannon whirry  as  terry malloy   which is more of a bad joke than a clever one  and athena massey  oh  and  er  s julliana margiulles has two scenes   out for justice  just proves once again that american action films just suck  i know that theres such a good thing as good action  hes called john woo  but if youre in the mood for some good old nobrainer  funyetdumb action  dont bother watching this  its so stupid that its boring  
neg	vampires starts out almost in the style of a spaghetti western with an attack on a small homestead in new mexico  the house has a nest of vampires and jack crow  james woods  is leading a team of vampire hunters in to clean them out  while the initial imagery is a little overdramatic  it gives way to what is a fairly decent action sequence  that is enough action to last us a while and we could  director john carpenter would let us  get to a story line  but it is not very long and there is not much plot until the next big action scene  then there is only a bit more of plot before the next action scene after that  the plot is kept to a minimum and the interesting ideas in the plot really get the short end  and that is something of a pity because the film  based on the book vampire by john steakley  gives us a myth for the origins of vampires and explains why vampires are so intertwined with religious imagery  this could be an interesting departure from the standard vampire film  but carpenter decides to tell us about it rather than to show it  what carpenter saves his serious screen time for a sequence of spectacular fights between hunters and vampires  there is a lot of fighting and lots of gore  anything intriguing is kept to a minimum to so it does not get in the way of pleasing the action film fans  this has not always been carpenters style  his 1981 version of the thing has action but also challenges the viewer to do a little thinking about the films central science fictional question  jack crow heads a vampire swat team  cleaning up nests of vampires with hightech spears and crossbows  in the early part of the film his team is wiped out by a particularly mean vampire valek  thomas ian griffith  who has been tipped off to who crow is  now crow team is gone and he is down to himself and his sidekick tony montoya  daniel baldwin   to make matters worse  he does not know the people on his own side  tony and his backers  he can trust  meanwhile jack is sure the vampires are looking for something that must be hidden somewhere here in new mexico  if this is sounding like a very tired police corruption plot with a few obvious substitutions  thats exactly what it is  the same story looks just as well with two partner cops looking for a gang of hood who are themselves looking for a packet of heroin  but carpenter goes against a familiar principle of film  show people  dont tell them  just about everything in the plot other than the fights we are told about in the dialog and not shown  fundamental questions in the plot like where does crow get his funding  why are the vampires in new mexicowhat do they want and why do they want it  what is the connection of the vampires and the catholic church  how did crow come to be a vampire hunter and why devote his life to it  the answers to any of these questions could have been dramatized  but instead are revealed through dialog  now if all this was not bad enough  carpenter misuses the james wood persona  woods plays a particular sort of cool lowlife very well  but carpenter leads off the film by having woods do some sergioleone style mythic posturing  while his crew prepares for an attack he stands staring fixedly through shades at the house that will be his target  woods does not work as a larger than life mythic hero  that is not his style and it just does not work very well  there are some simple things that carpenter should be looking for as director that he misses  in one scene we are looking at a motel room with dead people on the floor  one female corpse is on the floor in front of a chair so that there is about an inch of daylight between her and the chair  as the actress breathes the gap widening and narrowing makes it obvious her arm is moving up and down  one also wonders how the existence of vampires is kept secret  these vampires do not maintain a low profile  there are arguably logical flaws in the film  there is some question in my mind whether carpenter has a consistent policy on what effect bullets have on vampires  it would take some rationalization to explain why in some scenes sunlight has a dramatic effect on vampires  yet in a scene toward the end a vampire can walk under a burned roof that lets him be swept by beams of sunlight  i suspect that the book on which this film was based was better thought out  while i might recommend this film to an action audience i would say that what i look for in a vampire film vampires rates a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  perhaps i will read the book  
neg	when considering david finchers latest film   the game   four words come to mind   dont believe the hype   this michael douglas vehicle  from the director of  seven   isnt nearly as clever or innovatively suspenseful as it would have us believe  the film draws us in with an intriguing concept  aided no doubt by the riveting trailer  where a jaded millionaire  douglas  is presented with the opportunity to enter into a living fantasy  this isnt simply virtual reality  this is real life with a deadly twist  on his 48th birthday  nicholas van orton  douglas  is invited to dinner by his underachieving younger brother  conrad  sean penn   conrad has a special birthday present for his brother  he hands nicholas a gift certificate and tells him to contact a company called consumer recreation services   they make your life fun   conrad tells him  nicholas humors his brother  telling him hell call  but its clear he has no time for any foolish   fantasy roleplaying   as he calls it  then  for reasons that are never really made clear  nicholas decides to go to crs and see what theyre all about  he ends up spending a whole day going through their screening process  which to me made no sense considering the tight schedule he keeps claiming to have  nevertheless  when it seems nicholas has been rejected as a crs client  the weird things start happening  of course  when weve only covered about 30 minutes of screen time  what else should we expect  douglas has built his modern career around playing powerful  violent and unlikable men being manipulated by unseen hands  one of those films   basic instinct   came from the creative minds of writer  joe eszterhas and director  paul verhoeven  the premise of  the game   is not unlike the concept of another verhoeven film   total recall   in that case  the premise was implanting someone elses memories as a way to enhance ones own life through a dream vacation  yet  in both films  the real goal is to create a vicarious bond with the audience  we live the adventure along with the protagonist  reacting to each twist and turn  in theory  the key to the suspense is not being to tell what is real and what isnt  all we can do is hang on until the end of the ride  when the truth is finally revealed  now  for those of you who forgot  let me say this again   dont believe the hype    the game  is not a thrilling roller coaster ride  as a suspensethriller  it doesnt do much but spin in circles  by the third reel  i was fighting back sleep and checking my watch as i endured the predictable plot  is it any wonder douglas wont be able to resist the charms of a mysterious  potentially lifethreatening blonde  ever heard of glenn close  no  well  how about sharon stone  thought so   if anything in this film surprises you at all  i would guess you havent seen that many films  there is no suspense here  trust me  i looked hard to find some  i had to settle for contrived gimmicks and ridiculously implausible situations  fincher aims for hitchcock but lands somewhere just north of joe eszterhas  there are those that might say  the game  is not intended to be viewed literally  i would submit that is exactly the way i tried to view the film  the film simply does not have the teeth to bite into any real psychological issues  there is a moment early in the film where van orton  realizing his game has begun  smiles as he walks through the airport trying to figure out whos in on the whole thing  he is charged by his paranoia  he is looking at the world through new eyes  it is the last thoughtprovoking moment in the film  from there on  the director only wants to stay a step ahead of us  any significant archetype that is set up in the beginning of the film is simply turned into a plot device  at the outset  were told each  game  is tailored to the individual  ultimately  this  game  is supposed to work like a crucible  trying this obscenely wealthy and emotionally detached aristocrat by fire  proving his soul  yet  as douglas endures his personal gauntlet  were given very few pieces of the puzzle to illuminate us on who this man really is  i wanted to like this film more than i did  i look at it as just anothergreat idea  poorly realized  i can think of at least two other superior films where watching the film didnt mean we were seeing what was really happening  bryan singers  the usual suspects  for one  a film that was truly unique in its ability to get you lost in the details before pulling back to show you the full masterpiece on the canvas  also  there is the underrated  jacobs ladder   with tim robbins  a film that really has to be watched twice before you recognize the significance of all its symbolism  here are two examples of films that dont simply manipulate for manipulations sake  there are films that use their labyrinth structure to lead us to a meaningful place  one major issue that comes up in  the game  is whether or not the whole  illusion  is just a highly sophisticated con game  well  i can tell you right now  after youve spent your 7 dollars  you may be asking yourself the same thing  
neg	weighed down by tired plot lines and spielbergs reliance on formulas  saving private ryan is a mediocre film which nods in the direction of realism before descending into an abyss of cliches  there ought to be a law against steven spielberg making movies about truly serious topics  spielbergs greatest strength as a director is the polished  formulaic way in which every aspect of the film falls carefully into place to make a perfect story  but for a topic of such weight as combat in the second world war  or the holocaust  this technique backfires  for it creates coherent  comprehensible and redemptive narratives out of events whose size  complexity and evil are utterly beyond the reach of human ken  in this way spielberg trivializes the awesome evil of the stories he films  saving private ryan tells the story of eight men who have been detailed on a  pr mission  to pull a young man  ryan  whose three other brothers were just killed in fighting elsewhere  out of combat on the normandy front just after dday  ryan is a paratrooper who dropped behind enemy lines the night before the landings and became separated from his fellow soldiers  the search for him takes the eight soldiers across the hellish terrain of world war ii combat in france  theres no denying spielberg came within shouting distance of making a great war movie  the equipment  uniforms and weapons are superbly done  the opening sequence  in which captain miller  tom hanks  leads his men onto omaha beach  is quite possibly the closest anyone has come to actually capturing the unendurably savage intensity of modern infantry combat  another pleasing aspect of the film is spielbergs brave depiction of scenes largely unknown to american audiences  such as the shooting of prisoners by allied soldiers  the banality of death in combat  the routine foulups in the execution of the war  and the cynicism of the troops  the technical side of the film is peerless  as always  the camera work is magnificent  the pacing perfect  the sets convincing  the directing without flaw  hanks will no doubt be nominated for an oscar for his performance  which was utterly convincing  and the supporting cast was excellent  though ted danson seems a mite out of place as a paratroop colonel  yet the attempt at a realistic depiction of combat falls flat on its face because realism is not something which can be represented by single instances or events  it has to thoroughly permeate the context at every level of the film  or the story fails to convince  throughout the movie spielberg repeatedly showed only single examples of the grotesque wounds produced by modern mechanized devices  exception  men are shown burning to death with relative frequency   for example  we see only one man with guts spilled out on the ground  here and there men lose limbs  in one scene miller is pulling a man to safety  theres an explosion  and miller looks back to see he is only pulling half a man  but the rest of the corpses are remarkably intact  there are no shoes with only feet in them  no limbs scattered everywhere  no torsos without limbs  no charred corpses  and most importantly  all corpses have heads  in fairness there are a smattering of wicked head wounds   the relentless dehumanization of the war  in which even corpses failed to retain any indentity  is softpedaled in the film  ultimately  saving private ryan bows to both hollywood convention and the unwritten rules of wartime photography in its portrayal of wounds and death in war  rather than saying saving private ryan is  realistic   it would be better to describe it as  having realistic moments   another aspect of the  hollywoodization  of the war is the lack of realistic dialogue and in particular  the lack of swearing  anyone familiar with the literature on the behavior of the men during the war  such as fussells superb wartime  understanding and behavior in the second world war  which has an extensive discussion on swearing   knows that the troops swore fluently and without letup   who is this private ryan that we have to die for him   asks one infantrymen in the group of eight  rendered in wartime demotic  that should have been expressed as  who is this little pecker that we have to get our dicks shot off for him   or some variant thereof  conversations should have been literally sprinkled with the  f  word  and largely about  the search for  food and sex  this is all the more inexplicable because the movie already had an  r  rating due to violence  so swearing could not possibly have been eliminated to make it a family film  however  the most troubling aspect of the film is the spielbergization of the topic  the most intense hell humans have ever created for themselves is not emotionally wrenching enough for steven spielberg  he cannot just cede control to the material  he has to be bigger than it  as if afraid to let the viewer find their own  perhaps unsettled and not entirely clear  emotional foothold in the material  spielberg has to package it in hallmark moments to give the war a meaning and coherence it never had  the opening and closing scenes of ryan and his family in the war cemetary  reminscent of the closing scene from schindlers list   the saccharine exchange between ryan and his wife at the close  every bit as bad as schindlers monologue about how his car  tiepin or ring could have saved another jew   quotes from abraham lincoln and emerson  captain millers last words to private ryan  and an unbelievable storyline in which a prisoner whom they free earlier in the movie comes back to kill the captain  that particular subplot is so hokey  so predictable  it nigh on ruins the film  nowhere in the film is there a resolute depiction of the meaninglessness  stupidity and waste which characterized the experience of war to the men who actually fought in combat  imagine if miller had been killed by friendly fire or collateral damage   because of its failure to mine deeply into the terrible realities of world war ii  saving private ryan can only pan for small truths in the shallows   
neg	if youre going to make a twohour hollywood injoke  why bother releasing it to the general public  if youre going to create a film that will appeal primarily to bigname actors and people who know woody allen  then why waste the time of the rest of us peons by playing it in theaters  while watching celebrity  i realized that allen had only marginal interest in creating a story about real people  what he really wanted to do was continue on his recent kick of conceited selfdeprecation  celebrity is yet another film in which allen tells a story about himself  living in a world that hes familiar with  dealing with people like the ones he actually knows  allen recruited poor kenneth branagh to bumble through this picture  in an imitation of allen so perfect that it almost made me like the film more  branagh plays lee simon  a journalistturnedscreenwriter who divorces his wife  robin  judy davis   shacks up with some hot women  famke janssen  charlize theron  winona ryder   and goes about trying to get big stars  melanie griffith  leonardo dicaprio  to read his script about an armored car robbery  the usual elements of recent allen films are all here  including the sexual insecurity of the main character  lots of selfloathing women  and a tiring continuum of episodes that are only loosely related to one another  unless you work in the film industry or know woody allen personally  its not likely that youll find a whole lot of interest in celebrity  aside from all the injokes  the story falls far short of compelling  and the characters are all empty and lifeless  branagh proves once again that hes a superb performer  nailing his imitation of allen flawlessly  the problem is that hes the same character allen always plays  a character whos getting more than a little dull to watch  i mean  come on  how many times have you seen this guy   he hates his work  and he cant be satisfied by any one woman  and  at the end of the movie  nothing has been solved  he brings all of his problems upon himself  crashing his car because hes receiving fellatio  and other such stunts   so its pretty hard to care about him  in addition  isnt allen capable of creating characters who arent just like him  i know he is  but he didnt do it in celebrity  the vacant emotional attachment with the main character is not recaptured in the supporting performances  davis  playing the same woman with low selfesteem that she played in deconstructing harry  has a few touching moments  but ends up the same despicable celebritytype that fills the rest of the movie  some of the actresses are saved because of their beauty  theron and ryder  especially  but theyre not likable people  only famke janssen  as a book editor interested in simons new novel  has any life  the men in the picture dont do much better  joe mantegna is pretty dull as the man who remarries robin  while dicaprio  as a christian slaterjohnny depptype spoiled young actor  is funny but disengaging  whats really insulting about celebrity is how dull and standard its  themes  are  allen seems to think that hes making an insightful movie about the way  normal  people look at celebrities  the main problem with this is that the character with whom were supposed to identify  simon  is not a  normal  guy  hes just as entrenched in the hollywood image as the rest of the characters  the other problem is that the image we get of these celebrities is no more enlightening than the view the media gives us  none of them register as realistic  interesting characters  they mostly just function as set pieces for boring dialogue  in addition  allen decides he needs a scene in which the theme is expressed explicitly  robin  in this scene  says something like   its interesting to see the way we all look at the people we celebrate     celebrity is arguably allens biggest misfire to date  it does have a few good scenes  therons superorgasmic model character is kind of funny  and the last scene might have been moving had the rest of the film shown us a character or two  but celebrity is a failure at the core  unless allens point was to make a selfindulgent movie about himself and his friends  if he wanted to make his audience feel like they were on the outside of a big joke  then he succeeded in that  i  for one  dont enjoy feeling like an outsider  
neg	it used to be that not just anyone could become a vampire  usually  you had to be an aristocrat  a count such as dracula or karnstein  to qualify  youd have to have a modicum of sophistication  so youd at least look cool  or suave  when biting into some young damsels throat  but today  in our overly politically correct world  any scuzzylooking  longhaired  unshaven lout or any spikedhaired harridans can put the bite on you  by the same token  to be a vampire hunter  one had to have some sort of medical training and knowledge of the occult or maybe perhaps be some sort of professional soldier  or at least one who retired with honors  not in these times  all you need are some sharp weapons  some bullets forged from silver and any yahoo can be a buffy  or a blade  without sounding elitist  the fear of vampires has greatly diminished because of this lack of exclusivity  which brings us to blade  the latest in a long line of vampire movies in which  it seems  half the population is putting the bite on the other half  not only are there thousands of vampires  but they seem to move from city to city  pay off police departments and  most importantly  establish their own exclusive afterhours raves in which the highlight is the sprinkler system going off and dousing all the occupants in a blood shower  with all that blood  you wonder why they have to hunt for victims  you also wonder when they get the time to get their clothes drycleaned and why no cleaner ever complains about all the bloodstains  blade  which is based on a marvel comic book character  is  like a comic book  all visual  the plot is basically blade repetitiously slashing his way through the vampire army seeking their leader  deacon frost  its all hokum and nonsense  of course  but the filmmakers play it straight  unfortunately  at least at the advance screening i attended  the audience didnt see it that way and laughed through much of the proceedings  you know a movie is in trouble when the scenes of blood and gore that should elicit screams of fright instead evoke peels of laughter  another telltale sign is when the audience seems to be admiring the heros costume more than the hero  also it seems its not enough for todays vampire merely to have fangs  he must also be proficient in the martial arts  why a supernatural being  one of the undead  needs such skills is beyond me   of course  this concept dates to the 1974 hammer filmsrun run shaw production of legend of the seven golden vampires  in which dracula is defeated by seven karatechopping siblings   wesley snipes is buff as blade  he growls his lines the few he has  and spends most of the time glowering  as if he was suffering from indigestion or having second thoughts about starring in and coproducing this turkey  blade is just another example of how the vampire film  a once honorable member of the horror family  has gone downhill  this dud mostly makes you yearn for those quaint old days when christopher lee could be stopped just by dangling a crucifix in his face  todays vampires lack the panache  the style of a bela lugosi or a christopher lee  they are not even worthy enough to carry those great bloodsuckers capes  they are more farcical than frightful  this whole enterprise is one dull blade that could have used lots of sharpening  
neg	hav plenty  as we are told in the beginning and reminded during the film  is a true story  life itself is a series of true stories  but most are not movie material  as scripted  directed  and acted by cinematic newcomer christopher scott cherot  hav plenty limps along at best  its dialog is so stilted   you know what they say  no women  no cry     that the actors are content to read the screenplay rather than invest much energy in trying to act it  in the story  lee plenty  cherot  is a 28yearold author and teaching assistant  the movie  which happens mainly over the new years holiday  consists of a series of incidents in which various single and married women try to kiss lee or take him to bed  since he consistently refuses  caroline gooden  tammi katherine jones  figures that he must be gay  eventually he and havilland  hav  savage  chenoa maxwell  get together  proving that he wasnt gay after all  just picky  sexy women can sit on his lap and ask him to go to bed with them  but he will not even kiss them  hes a man who knows his mind  which he frequently shares directly with the audience in a series of trite and overly cute monologues  filled with wealthy africanamericans  the story is closest in tone to love jones  which was better  hav plentys story doesnt go anywhere  at the end it subjects us to lee plentys new film  which is a movie of the movie weve just seen  but with even worse acting   remember folks that  as outrageous as this all seems  this is a true story   hav tells the camera  but the problem is that its not outrageous at all or even the least bit interesting  hav plenty isnt so much a bad film as it is a total waste of the audiences time  hav plenty runs 1  32  it is rated r for profanity and would be fine for most teenagers  
neg	it seems that ive stopped enjoying movies that should be fun to watch  take payback  for example  a movie that most people seem to like  however  its horrible schlock  straight out of hollywoods vast talent for sucking creativity out of movies  it was written and directed by a guy who should have done better  however  maybe he did do better  after all  30 percent of the movie isnt his own  mel gibson  that hollywood zombie  decided he didnt like the ending and had another director reshoot it  what a crock  if you sign on to do a movie  then do it the way the script calls for  why film a movie and then look at it later and say   no  i changed my mind  i dont like the ending  youre fired  lets get someone else to do it   i suppose honor is dead in hollywood  the end of the film is  of course  hollywoodized  which is to say that its happy and the guy you root for beats impossible odds to win his prize  in this case  as is most victories in hollywood movies  gibsons prize is a blond and money  i miss originality in film  i really do  i think audiences are so starved for it that theyll flop down a lot of money in hopes that a movie will be original  paybacks tagline  get ready to root for the bad guy  promised an original idea  but it was far from the truth  while gibsons character certainly broke the law  he was a character that had honor  odd that gibson himself seems to have very little of it   wouldnt kill in front of children and protects his blond woman  theres nothing bad about him  hes a hollywood character  a person who could never exist in real life  and gibson knows it  he spends his time trying to act like a  bad guy   and instead comes off as pretentious and arrogant  the story involves gibson being doublecrossed by his partner  who is a real bad guy  which made me wish that we could root for him  over 70  000  gibson recovers from multiple gunshots  is pissed  naturally   and will do whatever it takes to get the exact amount of money back  no more  no less  he makes a point of it that its strictly 70 grand  a real bad guy would have made his expartner pay 25 interest  this idea is completely stretched out  gibson ends up going after his partner and the chicago mafia that his partner is affiliated with  what i didnt understand  this is the chicago mafia  70  000 is like spare change to them  theyd probably just pay the guy rather than go through the trouble of dealing with him  i think theyd respect a guy going through this much trouble for a simple 70  000  maybe im being too hard on the movie  perhaps the filmmakers were just trying to make a simple popcorn movie  i read roger eberts review and he liked gibson in the role because he is a comic at heart playing a bad guy  thats why were allowed to root for him  and its true  gibson walks the movie as if hes smiling at a joke he just heard  but hes wrong here  i wanted a lee marvin or oldtime clint eastwood or somebody who wasnt a comic  just an ass kicker  as a side note  ive just checked the internet movie database and discovered that i am the 38th person to post a newsgroup review of payback  after this many reviews  why would anyone want to read this  really  i dont care  im just trying to gain membership into the online film critics society by posting as many reviews as i can  
neg	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned   quick  robin  the antishark repellant    adam west in the 1966 batman feature film  casually kicking at a patheticlooking rubber shark attached to his leg i had never thought that an entry in the modern incarnation of the batman feature film would approach this level of campiness  but in many instances batman and robin nears  and at some point even exceeds this standard  this is a disasterously bad film  easily the worst in the series to date  and fairly epitomizes a cinematic definition of the word excessive  its loud  garish  and obnoxious  with pointless  gratuitous action sequences and set pieces which clutter up the screen with elaborate production design to the point of overkill  batman and robin features the caped crusaders  george clooney debuting as batman  with chris odonnell returing as robin  squaring off against another bevy of chemicallyinduced villains  the nefarious icecold mr  freeze  arnold schwarzenegger   armed with a weapon which freezes everything in its sights  and the slinky poison ivy  uma thurman   who has the ability to blow powerful love dust into the faces of men in order so that they will fall helplessly in love with her  not that the dust is really necessary to accomplish this result  but whatever   and then dispatch them with a poisoned kiss  by ivys side is the giant steroid monster bane  jeep swanson   a grunting hulk of a beast  the villains goals are noble ones  freeze steals diamonds to power his climate suit  in order to keep his body temperature at zero degrees   so that he can survive in order to devise a cure for his beloved wife  vendela   dying of a degenerative disease and frozen in suspended animation  and ivys intent is to restore the dominance of plant life on earth  albeit by destroying all human life  meanwhile  on the homefront  life at wayne manor is thrown into upheaval by the illness of butler alfred pennyworth  michael gough   and the arrival of his niece barbara  alicia silverstone   akiva goldsmans screenplay for the film is ridiculous and laughably bad  with astonishingly terrible dialogue  lame jokes  and an awful bythenumber plot which simply coasts along and fails to generate any genuine excitement  it makes goldsmans screenplay of batman forever  which i thought was dreadful  look positively inspired in comparison  i am still astonished that a cheesy plot device which id seen used in  no joke  an episode of gilligans island somehow make its way into a multimillion dollar blockbuster production  joel schumachers direction of batman and robin is horrific  with a terrible balance of flashiness over substance  there is a clear conceit towards neon in this film  even moreso than with his previous batman forever  with the revamped batcave helpfully sporting gigantic glowing emblems for the dynamic duo  just in case  i suppose  if they ever happen to forget that the batcave is the headquarters of batman and robin   and with neon prominently figuring in an utterlypointless fight sequence with bane and a street gang over ivys chosen new abode  another action sequence which fails to serve any useful point other than to chew up five minutes of screentime involves an incredibly uninvolving latenight motorcycle race with barbara and some gotham goons  mr  schumachers focus for batman and robin appears to be to make the film as visually striking as possible  to the detriment of the story  there are drastic shifts in the tone of the film between allout camp and heartfelt drama  with the latter completely unconvincing and ineffective  it is perhaps not the most promising of signs when the group i was with burst out laughing within twenty seconds of the films opening  even before a single line of dialogue had been uttered  is batman and robin supposed to be campy  i think it is  its hard to imagine that the filmmakers could have intended many parts of the film to be taken at all seriously   one of my favourites was when bane helpfully grunted  bomb   each time he laid down an explosive device in the gotham observatory   is it supposed to be as overly campy as it turned out to be  i somehow doubt it  the subplot involving afred is delivered so solemnly and with such graveness that the impression is made that the film isnt attempting to be the utter farce which it is  arnold schwarzenegger is topbilled in the film as the villainous mr  freeze  and is bland and uninteresting  perhaps the worst thing that a villain can be  mr  schwarzeneggers attempts to be menacing are laughable  and his attempts at conveying pathos are laughable  frankly  everything he does onscreen is laughable  by the end of the film  i was stifling a chuckle every time he simply appeared onscreen  the bulk of his performance consists of uttering nearunintelligble puns and oneliners featuring every possible permutation of  cool   in the least inventive way  george clooney has been given very little to do in batman and robin  being overshadowed by the villains  and consequently he looks rather uncomfortable in the film  his batman is hardly an imposing figure  chris odonnell is unimpressive in a onenote performance  while alicia silverstone lackadasically fails to make any impression at all  the films one saving grace  undoubtably uma thurmans entertaining performance as sexy villainess poison ivy  her work in batman and robin is certainly overthetop  but in a controlled fashion which works splendidly within the tone of the film  ms  thurmans comic timing is impeccable  and reminds us that it takes skilled performers to make campiness work successfully   im already starting to positively reassess jim carreys performance in batman forever   her amusing poison ivy is the most entertaining character in the film  and when shes offscreen the film greatly suffers  i figure that if one has to die  being kissed to death by uma thurman isnt a halfbad way to go  while batman and robin was hardly a ride of pulsepounding excitement  i must admit that i was not bored watching it  although i did glance at my watch repeatedly through the screening  my attention was kept through anticipation of the utterance of yet another terrible pun or oneliner  and by awaiting yet another scene to fall flat  its been a long time since ive laughed so much at a movie   at   of course  is the operative word  
neg	everything about this ninth trek movie seems on the cheap  from the roger cormangrade special effects to its highly derivative and ugly ad campaign  the poster is nearly identical to that of star trek vi  the undiscovered country   but pillers notquitehalfbaked screenplay should ultimately claim responsibility for insurrections failure  im about to give the same advice to rick berman and co  as ive given to the financiers of james bond movies  its time to breathe life into this workhorse by hiring solid genre writers and a real director   while were at it  put that visor back on laforge   for three hundred years  the baku species  who look just like humans  have lived on a ringedplanet that might as well be called the fountain of youth  six hundred of them occupy the briar patch  the area affected by metaphasic radition  a positive energy that reverses the aging process in the elderly  but evil ruafo  this is probably abrahams last stop before performing  amadeus  at a dinner theatre near you   leader of the sona  who look just like burn victims after reconstructive surgery   wants to relocate the baku and movie his people onto the briar patch in their place  in order to replenish his dying breed  the federation is all for this  but picard feels this is a direct violation of the prime directive  to not interfere with the development of an alien race   never mind that the baku didnt exactly evolvethey went wandering in the universe one day and stumbled upon the magic world   every time frakes gives an interview lately  he seems to top whatever ludicrous statement he last gave regarding this installment  he has called it a comedy  a thinking mans picture  a throwback to the old series  and  most grievously  he has likened it to a john ford western   i presume thats some john ford he went to school with  not the director of the searchers   he has also gone on record as saying paramount recut the film from his version  thats no excusesomeone generated this footage  muddy cinematography and sitcom sets are the least of its problems  star trek  insurrection appears to have been beamed in from the planet plotholia  consider such curiosities    picards love interest  anij  donna murphy   can slow things down by staring at them  such as a waterfall or falling rocks  her scientific explanation for this   dont ask   worf gets a pimple  hes reexperiencing klingon puberty thanks to the timedefying atmosphere   laforge regains his eyesight  trust me  levar burtons real eyes are scarier than those electronic lenses he wore in first contact  and troi brags about her firm boobs  but picard remains as bald as an androids butt  most suspiciously  what exactly is the problem with letting this endangered race have a little fun in the sun  the filmmakers cloud the issue with some nonsense about a family feud of sorts  and they also turn ruafo into a completely powermad superfreak  just so the characters will have something to do in the climax   and if youve seen return of the jedi  youve seen the ending of this movie   didnt picard himself previously disobey the prime directive when he prevented the borg from assimilating millions  frakes lucked out with first contact  and repeat viewings of that film reveal the seeds of what went wrong in his direction of insurrection  he has no sense of comic timing  and he mines for acting chemistry where none exists   take a look at the painful  troi gets drunk  scene in fc and youll get the general idea of insurrections unsuccessfully jokey and hollow tone   even the worst shatner and co  treks  like the final frontier  maintained a watchability thanks to the effortless  charming comaraderie between kirk  spock  and bones  neither first contact nor insurrection has any idea what to do with crusher  gates mcfadden  whom i must say maintains a fabulous physique   troi  or laforge  and all three next generation films spend too much time on data  who is the franchises answer to urkel  need a cheap laugh  have data say something sexual  or start singing  or lift up a four hundred pound boulder as if its the hunk of styrofoam it really is  heres my proposed title for number 10  data star data trek  data data data data data  in this movie  data will become preoccupied with learning to blow his nose  while crusher and troi watch silently from 500 yards away and laforge points his sinister gaze at the android in doubly robotic observation  star trek  insurrection had one nice  eerie  silent moment that hints at a better  darker film  im not saying all of them should be star trek ii  the wrath of khan  but this one boldly went where no movie should go again  
neg	this is one of the worst bigscreen film experiences ive had for a while  with this film  plus showgirls and basic instinct  paul verhoeven has stamped himself as currently one of the worst blockbuster directors  his celebrated film total recall was  i admit  successfully scripted  but it nonetheless contained directorial flaws  obviously nobody wanted to invest too much money in a production from someone like verhoeven  the result being that much of the special effects in starship seemed fake  but not everything bad in the film was the directors fault  even though he was one of the guys who employed the actors  it is surprising that none of the actors received nominations for the razzie awards  i expected five for the acting categories   casserole vanity devoid  dense ribald  dingy miasma  and jackass bushy are in serious need of acting school  no  they have to pass primary school drama classes first  while total was written well  starship is purely pathetic  all right  it is supposed to be a fastpaced entertainment film  and youre supposed to turn off your intellect  completely  and enjoy the action sequences and special effects  that is  guts and gore   as a matter of fact  i found the activity incredibly boring  a complete waste of more than two hours  half of the film was a bad episode of beverly hills 90210  dina meyer was in  beverly hills    while another quarter was simply nothing  things like presenting irrelevant information in an irritating way on the web   and the rest was a display of humans fighting computergenerated images  the battles were all the same  jumping around  shoot or get stabbed  and on barren planets that only had giant insects  there werent even any stunts  which i consider slightly more exciting than pictures running around  i wonder what the insects eat  if theres nothing but them on the planets  there is so much laughable treatment in this film  and it is frankly not amusing when jokes are intended  this type of story is obviously aimed at 10yearolds  who cant see it anyway because of the violence and some sexuality  but then  there are always 16yearolds who have that frame of mind  the pointless plot begins when johnnys  vanity devoid  girlfriend carmen  richards  decides that she wants to join the troopers to fight the insects who are throwing asteroids at earth  johnny then signs up as a trooper also  after an overacted argument with his parents  but there is another girl  dizzy  meyer   who likes johnny and then there is another boy who likes carmen  which results in a love quadrangle  which isnt better  because it means augmented worsethanstereotyped soap opera  increased bitchiness  and more bad beverly hills  melrose  and the result of this love quadrangle at the end is also rather stupid  anyway  getting back to the thing you might call plot  johnny is too stupid to be a pilot and has to join the infantry  while his girl and the other dude are in the same league  dizzy comes chasing johnny and joins the infantry also  they then start training  which contains what roger ebert calls ips  idiot plot syndrome  moments when only an idiot would have made such obvious mistakes   then real combat  and guess what  thats about as complex as it gets  oh  and one of their friends  carl  neil patrick harris a  k  a  doogie howser m  d    becomes involved in war intelligence  and his abilities at the end are really corny and make me want to spray insecticide on someone for it  hes my fifth nom for a razzie  the troopers fight  fall in love  die  kill  and try to act  naturally  they win  or sort of halfwin  of course  in between  and at the end  there are soldiers chatting and smiling while carrying grievous wounds caused by bug legs  the bugs also suffer from ips  why would you release hold of your captive before killing it  isnt it also amazing that earthlings havent invented better handheld weapons by then  the only question that remains is why i gave it one star instead of zero  well  maybe aquarter  of a star  for the originality of the cosex shower scene and the  very  brief moments of suspense  another quarter for copying zulu and letting the good guys  the bugs  win  and half a star for the suckingout of the brain of one of those people who call themselves actors  but there should have been more  the troopers deserved to die   
neg	phew  what a mess  for his fifth collaboration with director rich ard donner  lethal weapon iiii  maverick   mel gibson plays a motormouth  maybe mentally ill new york city cabbie  jerry  whose wild conspiracy theories are all but ignored by alice  julia roberts  acting all serious   the justice department employee that he has a crush on  she not interested  but another person is  a cia psychiatrist  patrick stewart  who promptly kidnaps him  is one of jerrys conjectures correct   is  the metal strip in the new 100 bill being used to track your movements  is oliver stone still alive  because he cut a deal with george bush to spread  dis  information  is this movie really about  any  of the crazed cabbies theories  no  no  and no  as it turns out  theres some other nonsense going on here  involving and revolving around jerrys background   hint  pay attention to an early scene where jerry blacks out and flashes back  in quick succession  to images of an interrogation room  hypodermic needles  and ms  roberts herself   the  initial  premise is pretty good and is played  for a while  at a delightfully dizzying clip  mel is wideropen that weve ever seen him and  if his characters relationship with roberts initially strains credibility  their combined star power is blissfully intoxicating   the highest wattage of the summer  perhaps   even when the plot contrivances begin to intrude  the two remain a randy dandy screen pair  theres a great scene in jerrys fortress  er  apartment  with alice trying to act casual as her hyperactive host tries to remember the combination to a locked coffee bean container   which he stores in another locked con tainer  his fridge   other hilarious moments  of which there are many  include a trio of memorable conventionbreakers  where alice ditches a tail  jerry coldcocks someone  and  later  eludes a foot pursuit  each in a uproariously unexpected fashion   thats donners own ladyhawke playing in the theater  btw   lets see  other pleasures include    a brilliant title sequence  a jazzy score from carter burwell  and the worthpayingtosee sight of roberts pumping lead into one bad guy and slamming anothers head into a wall  oh  pretty woman  getting to the latter  however  requires slogging through an increasingly overburdened and ultimately unappealing story  the last hour of conspiracy theory devolves from tolerable to torturous to almost unwatchable  more stuff happens of the stupid shit variety than is worth mentioning here  except  perhaps  for a late sequence that has alice locating jerry in an abandoned wing of a mental hospital by hearing his voice carrying through the air ducts  and here i thought it was wabbit season  good god  who rewrites these movies  and do they arrive in nondescript black vehicles  
neg	in french  the phrase  film noir  literally means  black film   webster defines it as  a type of crime film featuring cynical malevolent characters in a sleazy setting and an ominous atmosphere that is conveyed by shadowy photography and foreboding background music   classic film noir  including such memorable fare as  the big sleep   the original  cape fear   and orson welles striking  a touch of evil   employed black and white photography to emphasize the long shadows associated with the genre  color came into play with neonoir films like  chinatown  and  blade runner    l  a  confidential   easily the best film of 1997  is a wonderful piece of contemporary neonoir filmmaking  for a textbook example of how to take all the elements of neonoir and create an absolute mess  theres  palmetto   based on  just another sucker   a short story written by british author rene raymond under the pseudonym james hadley chase   palmetto  shows what happens when a filmmaker puts style ahead of substance  director volker schlondorff   tin drum   the handmaids tale   stated  we werent even sure for a long time if it was going to be a thriller or a comedy   it shows   palmetto  is too preposterous too be taken seriously as a thriller and too ponderous to work as a comedy  the story begins when journalist harry barber  woody harrelson  is released from prison  someone turned states witness and revealed that harry was framed  a  reward  for blowing the lid on corruption in the small florida town of palmetto  bitter and broke  harry plans to hitchhike to miami and start his life over  but exgirlfriend nina  gina gershon  appears to return him to palmetto  while hanging out at a bar  he notices that a beautiful woman has left her purse in a phone booth  harry pockets her cash  only to have the woman reappear and catch him with her money in his pocket  no problem  though  the radiant blonde is rhea malroux  elisabeth shue   the young wife of a very rich older man with heart problems  and she has a proposition for harry  rhea needs  a threatening voice and someone to collect the ransom  for the staged kidnapping of her teenage stepdaughter odette  chloe sevigny   the girls want to bilk a halfmillion dollar  ransom  from the old man and will happily give harry 50  000 for helping with the scam  things go wrong  of course  odette is found dead  leaving harry frantically trying to dispose of the corpse and cover his tracks  in an ironic twist  harry is asked to work for the local d  a  s office  they need a press liaison to field questions about odettes kidnapping and feel that harry is the perfect man for the job  not a bad setup for a noir film  if only schlondorff knew how to handle the material  but he never settles on a consistent tone  the actors dont know what to do with their characters either  muddling the proceedings even further  as if that wasnt enough  the story suffers from major problems in logic  woody harrelson is a talented actor with an admirable willingness to take on risky parts  but hes lost here  presented as a crusading journalist who was horribly wronged  it makes no sense that harry would be stupid and dishonest enough to get caught up in this scheme  harrelson clearly doesnt know what to do with harrys character  so he spends most of the film glowering  sweating and generally acting miserable  meanwhile  elisabeth shue gives a goofy performance  behaving like a vamp on nitrous oxide  as the stepdaughter  chloe sevigny lays on so many slurpy quirks that she comes off like juliette lewis jr  despite a number of steamy scenes  theres no chemistry between harrelson and the women  to make matters worse  schlondorff badly dubs in dialogue while the characters lips are running over each others bodies  two particularly bad scenes highlight the films problems  while driving with a body in his trunk  harry has a minor car wreck and a cop shows up  the officer wants to help change harrys flat tire and asks him to open the trunk  harrys pathetic attempts to keep the trunk closed might have worked if played as comedy  but under schlondorffs grim direction  the scene is just embarrassing  the films nadir comes when a bad guy prepares to kill harry and nina  were supposed to be horrified watching our hero dangling over a bathtub filled with acid  but by this point the film has foundered so badly that the scene is merely reminiscent of when jessica and roger rabbit were suspended over a vat of dip  had  palmetto  been played with tongue firmly in cheek  it might have been an entertaining shaggy dog story  but under the harsh direction of schlondorff  the film is just a sluggish paintbynumbers exercise in neo noir cluelessness  avoid this nonsense and go see  l  a  confidential  instead  
neg	plot  lara croft is british  rich and kicks a lot of ass  she also likes to raid tombs but when the illuminata discover that all nine planets are about to stand in alignment for the first time in 5000 years  and that lara holds the key to time  well  needless to say  they want to nab it from her  oh yeah  lara also likes to sport a lot of tight shirts    hummanahummanahummana    critique  angelina jolie was great in this movie  there were also about three  action scenes  that were pretty cool to look at in this film  uhhhhhm  unfortunately the rest of the movie sucked  bad dialogue  generic sidekicks and bad guys  a lame mystery  yodaesque moments with mumbojumbo being sprouted about and even some crappy cgi near the end  all in all  this movie wasnt the horror show that some of the early reviews had warned us about  especially since every other scene does feature jolies torpedoes begging to burst out of her lucky shirts  but it was quite the letdown nonetheless  especially when you consider the major opportunity that the filmmakers had here to create a cool  hip woman hero  based on a popular video game  i dont know  i guess you have to put most of the blame on director simon west  who didnt really tie the whole movie together all that well  the film lacked energy  a consistent pace and well    a fun time  i felt kinda depressed while watching this movie  all that  father  crap was horrible and the dialogue given to poor john voight to recite was just plain embarrassing  and im not even gonna mention his moustache    hehehe   why have this shite in the movie at all    i especially hated the scenes in which some ghostlike figure  friend or child would ramble on about lara crofts father while all the time  im not giving one ounce of crap as to what theyre talking about  i guess thats called lack of  character development   right  thats when a movie builds enough background into the characters on the screen  so that we could actually  get into  it and care about them  i didnt care about anyone in this movie  and was bored during most of its  lets explain why were doing all this gobbledygook  moments  and even though i thought that jolie kicked some mighty ass  damn  did she look sexy blasting those guns or what      everybody else around her was so goddamn boring  her butler was a throwaway with no personality  her sidekick was supposed to be funny but just annoyed me every time he said the word  bugger   and he says it a lot  trust me   and all of the socalled bad guys just spewed onedimension  they had no spark  no energy amongst them  and even though a few of the action scenes in the movie were cool  see the trailer and youll know which ones im talking about   the overall picture was lame and the dialogue and mystical bullcrap just buried it even further  also  for a movie thats supposed to be about all of these exotic locations  i wasnt necessarily impressed by any of its exterior shots  and even less so with its interiors  which all looked like they were shot in the same room  mind you  i wont go as far as to say that its the  worst movie of the year   remember that i actually have to go see freddie prinze jr  movies also    but its definitely the worst film that ive seen during this summer movie season  of course  its still early and im sure there are a few more garbage heaps coming down the pike   skip this one altogether and rent any of the indiana jones movies instead    trust me  youll miss the boobs but end your night with some rocksolid porn and its all good  wheres joblo coming from  raiders of the lost ark  1010   the mummy  810   lost in space  710   the mummy returns  610   the generals daughter  310   romancing the stone  710   wild wild west  310   mission impossible 2  710  
neg	it happens every year  the days get longer  the weather gets warmer and the studios start releasing their bigbudget blockbusters  this years crop already seems inferior to that of past summers  even 1997s lackluster trio of batman  robin  the fifth element and the lost world  the marketing blitz in 1998 has been centered on godzilla   heeere  leezerd  leezerd       which doesnt make me optimistic about future summers  godzilla is  of course  based on a series of cult movies  translation  really bad movies only a few people can tolerate  from japan that turn up really late at night on ted turnerowned cable stations  that this bigbudget remake wont rise above its roots is fairly obvious  the credits show us the origin of godzilla  in five words  nuclear explosion creates giant lizard  sounds like an enquirer headline  doesnt it  the mushroom cloud is followed by the inevitable  discovery  sequence  this time  a japanese guy is eating noodles with chopsticks while watching sumo wrestling  if that aint a stereotype     when he discovers the telltale radar blip  people die  cut to our protagonist  played by matthew broderick  he makes his first appearance wearing headphones  warbling along to  singin in the rain   its a nonetoosubtle sign that he wishes he were in a classier movie  no dice  bueller  from the beginning  poor matthew has to do embarassing things like fondle giant earthworms and stand in godzillas enormous footprint  every disaster movie has to have a knowitall scientist  and this time broderick is it  as the worlds leading expert on radiated earthworms  and wouldnt you love to have that printed on your business card    broderick is invaluable to the government  he immediately dispels vicki lewis theory that godzilla is a dinosaur because  hey  you cant take seriously the intellectual arguments of  newsradio  cast members  broderick instead hits the nail on the head  announcing godzilla is a radiated lizard   the radiation isnt an anamoly   he announces  and lightning strikes   i believe this is a mutated abberation   he continues  and lightning strikes again  its vocabulary lightning  you see  activated by words of four syllables or more  meanwhile  were introduced to our new york cast  headed by an ambitious broadcast journalist  maria patillo   brodericks former love  gee  what are the odds their paths will cross again at a dramatically important time  poor patillo has been trying to get ahead in the news business for years but has been held down by heartless anchorman harry shearer  italian cameraman hank azaria tells her shes not ruthless enough   nice doesnt get you anywhere in this town  its dog eat dog   actually  its lizard eat city  as godzilla emerges from the atlantic to begin a rampage on the big apples core  the filmmakers provide us with a onenote drunk fisherman who hooks godzilla   i think ive got a bite   he announces as a gigantic tidal wave begins rushing toward him  you can guess what happens next  similar reactions spring forth as the monster prowls the city  hearing the rumble of approaching footsteps  one new yorker remarks   please dont tell me thats another parade   please dont tell me thats the best line you could come up with  mayor ebert is not pleased  played by the principal from  head of the class   he continually makes the wrong decision when given an option  and bickers with his assistant gene  i guess the filmmakers knew theyd be getting two thumbs down from the critics and didnt even bother to kiss ass  the problem is  if youre going to attack siskel and ebert  you should at least make it funny  dialogue like   didnt we agree that we werent going to have any sweets until after the election   followed by   back off  gene   just doesnt work for me  other lame running jokes include everyone mispronouncing the broderick characters last name and frenchman jean renos inability to find a good cup of coffee in new york  theres even more fun to be had as godzilla progresses  as the beast heads back into hiding  broderick suggests the military lure it out with food  cue twelve dump trucks  all dropping fish into a new york intersection   broderick  thats a lot of fish   that ambush fails  but broderick soon figures out why godzilla came to new york by buying 50 worth of home pregnancy tests and running lizard blood through them  yep  godzillas with children  which makes you wonder just what kind of creature would be horny enough to have sex with godzilla  thats until broderick explains that godzilla reproduces asexually  like linda tripp  godzilla comes to us from the makers of independence day  so it has a lot of dumb action scenes  destructive special effects and shallow subplots  look no further than patillos betrayal of broderick  patillo  what have i done  animal  what have i become   and the climactic  godzillas nest  sequence in madison square garden  the main difference is  independence day was about the experience  it had a real global  patriotic element to it  and some genuinely fun characters  godzilla has lots of rain and lightning  reptilian action ripped off from jurassic park and endless product placement from the likes of kodak  blockbuster  juicy fruit  swatch  sprint and bumble bee tuna  yes  bumble bee actually paid to be known as the official tuna of godzilla  that fact alone is twice as interesting as anything in the movie  
neg	i heard actor skeet ulrich discussing this film in a couple of interviews  and in both instances  he felt the strange compulsion to compare it a little series of films called lethal weapon  now  i personally remember those films as a  starring a major motion picture star b  being funny c  having great action sequences d  great chemistry e  decent character development  hmmm     okay    now on to my review of chill factor  plot  a graveyard shift regular working joe and ice cream truck driver fall onto a malicious plan by an exarmy general  to propose a nuclear device to international prospects  when the device suddenly falls into their reluctant laps  they must keep it cool on ice  and rush it over to an army base  before the contraption ticks over 50 degrees fahrenheit  and kills millions of people  critique   speed on an icecream truck  is probably the pitch that was used to sell this onetone movie to its backers  but unfortunately  the only way that anyone could compare this film to that tensionfilled  original two hours of cinema  is in its distinct honor of being the complete opposite of what that film  and the lethal weapon movies  stood for  this film is seasoned in cliches  with plenty of badly written dialogue  over the top acting from cuba gooding jr   zero chemistry between the two leads  and horribly tacky bad guys  tossed in to complete an overall bad movie recipe  my friend and i enjoyed watching this movie to a certain extent  because some of the lines in it were so bad and obviously  written   that we just had to crack up  that  and the formula for the films script which followed the proverbial 12  and you guessed it    3 scenario  and what about all those catchy  hip names to get us to relate to the characters      elvis  and  nighshift   oh what talent lies in the minds of these screenwriters  and yes  it actually took two guys to come up with this regurgitated drivel   it is unfathomable to me as to how actors skeet ulrich and cuba gooding jr  got involved in this oneweekoldbluecheesesmelling project  did they actually think that it would boost their careers  or did they know that the script sucked  but discounted any fall from grace  knowing full well that the stack of cash in their back pockets would pad their fall  most probably the latter  have you seen either fled or bulletproof  well  despite the slight differences in plot  the essentials are basically the same here  you get a black guy and a white guy being chased by a bunch of people  having no choice but to work together to get somewhere  hating each other at first  but over time  learning to respect one another as individuals  yawn  add to that  the fact that our film actually has bad guys who are all dressed in black  drive black cars and black vans  and run around with all kinds of telecommunicative devices sprinkled around their head  not too conspicuous  eh  call me a partypooper  but as much as i like a nice cheezy movie as much as the next guy  this film just doesnt even try to do anything original or reasonably entertaining  one cool scene with a boat careening down a mountainside  and another with a nuclear device obliterating everything on an island  do not a fun  buddyaction flick make  show cuba the money  everybody    little known facts about this film and its stars  this is not a little known fact or anything  but damn  is it just me or does skeet ulrich look an awful lot like greatlooking actor johnny depp  skeets reallife nicknames include chester  skeeter and mosquito  he stands 61   was born in north carolina  and got married in 1997 to that sexkitten actress from clay pigeons  7  510   georgina cates  they own a farm together in virginia and seven dogs  skeet has a long scar on his chest from openheart surgery done when he was 10 to correct a ventricle defect  actor cuba gooding jr  was born in the bronx  new york  in 1984  he breakdanced during the closing ceremonies of the olympic games in los angeles  he stands 510   actress hudson leick  who plays one of the  bad guysgirls  in his movie  is better known from her role as  callisto  on the popular tv series  xena  princess warrior   this film reportedly had a budget of 40 million   im not exactly sure where all this money went  but it certainly did not register onscreen  interestingly enough  director hugh johnson  who makes his big screen debut with this film  was the cinematographer on the 1996 film white squall and the 1997 demi moore vehicle  g  i  jane  6  510   
neg	it is with some sad irony that i screened fright night part 2 on the day that one of its stars  roddy mcdowall passed away at the age of 70  mcdowall was one of the most talented and prolific actors in hollywood  having a career that spanned over 60 years and appearing in more than 100 films  fright night part 2 probably will not be counted among his more memorable roles  this is really sad considering how good the first fright night film was  william ragsdale and roddy mcdowall both reprised their roles as the somewhat reluctant vampire killers who seem to be the only ones that realize that vampires walk among us   at least in the movies anyway   it has been several years since charlie brewster  ragsdale  and bmovie actor turned late night horror film host  peter vincent  mcdowall  came face to face with a real live vampire who just happened to be charlies next door neighbor  charlie and peter won that battle  but apparently even vampires have relatives who get pissed if you kill members of their family  apparently charlies former bloodsucking next door neighbor had a sister who was none too pleased to find out that some kid and an aging actor staked her sibling  so she decides to exact a little bit of revenge  this ends up forcing charlie and peter to battle the forces of darkness yet again  one of the things that made fright night such a success was chris sarandon who played charlies stylish next door neighbor with a taste for blood  fright night part 2 tries to duplicate that modern style but it falls sort  while they are stylish  the vamps in this film just dont have the personality of the undead in the first film  with the exception of a werewolf who adds some much needed comic relief to a few of the scenes  one bright spot  speaking from a strictly sexist point of view  is traci lin  who plays charlies very skeptical girlfriend  its really a shame that her career hasnt been better since she made this film  ragsdale does a fair job in this film  but doesnt give nearly the performance that he did in the original  roddy mcdowall makes the most with what he is given  which unfortunately isnt much which is a shame because his character was a lot of fun in the original movie  i guess i would have to say that the first film was a superior product in every way  the original always left you feeling danger was lurking right around the corner  part 2 had more of the feel of a music video  never a good thing for a horror film  another minus for part 2 was the traditional scenes that leave the audience on the edge of their seats waiting for something to jump out of a shadow where very rare  for that matter  they were almost nonexistent  if i was going to watch a horror film  this would be far from my first choice  the first fright night  on the other hand  would be right up near the top of my list  if i was in the mood for a roddy mcdowall film id probably head to the science fiction section of my local video store and rent planet of the apes  either way fright night part 2 would most likely not enter into the equation  
neg	sometimes a stellar cast can compensate for a lot of things  and  pushing tin  certainly features some name stars who are going places  billy bob thornton  cate blanchett  angelina jolie  and oh yes john cusack who might not realize it at first  but hes actually the  veteran  among this quartet of finelooking people  sometimes a terrific cast like this can compensate for a lackluster screen treatment of an idea that has  hip comedy  written all over it  compensate for workmanlike but uninspired direction  compensate for an obnoxious score that would have anyone but the tone deaf screaming for the exits  compensate for clich  d characterizations  compensate for embarrassing  you have to be joking  situations  etc  in  pushing tin   thornton  blanchett  jolie  and cusack dont have an earthly  from the opening sequence the film is in big trouble  squiggly   quirky  credits  fakelooking passenger planes circling new york  and anne dudleys inyourear music making us wonder how she ever got that best original score nomination for  the full monty   let alone won it  but i  for one  wasnt ready to walk just yet  so quickly we descend into a tightlyedited air traffic controllers montage which screams to us in large capital letters these people have a difficult job  yes  what with their frantic  mileaminute instructional personas  juggling planes and passengers lives like some huge  real  midair video game  hip  cool  demonic auctioneer nick  the zone  falzone  cusack  is the best in the biz  of course  until some hipper  cooler  leatherclad flyboy assist in the guise of russell bell  thornton  shows up to challenge falzones finite air space  boys will be boys and some heavy duty testosterone starts exuding  then the macho oneupmanship begins  it doesnt stop with seeing who can juggle three 747s within a cats whisker of each other  oh no  there are some broken hoop dreams  some wannaseehowfasticandrives  and then the ultimate showdown  was that my wife i saw you with last night  director mike newell   four weddings and a funeral   must have read a different draft of this script because the one thats being acted out up there between newark  jfk  and la guardia doesnt have an ounce of subtlety  and newell has made some awfully goodand funnymovies before  the antics of these air traffic controllers will make you cringe  theyll make you frown in disbelief  theyll have you constantly looking at your watch  but wait  theres still 100 minutes to go   the films only saving grace is blanchett  whose connie falzone is a spunky  brash  long island housewife who wants to better herself by taking art classes  this is a wonderful accomplishment for the fine actress who has previously played a redheaded australian gambler   oscar and lucinda   and a tempestuous british monarch   elizabeth    but shes not enough to save the picture  thornton looks terrific and performs solidly but his character is a joke  jolie  as russells knock em dead wife  isnt bad  but the upandcoming actress disappoints by allowing herself to be displayed like a plaything  cusack cracks gum  dons shades  and acts hip throughout but  like everything else in the film  his performance is forced  in the last ten minutes or so  for some inexplicable reason  things start coming together and you begin to get a sense of how this film might have been  like the trailer teases  but its too little too late  a fine cast aside   pushing tin  is nothing more than an embarrassment  
neg	the most depressing thing about the depressingly pedestrian james bond film  the world is not enough  is its final frame  white letters on a black background proclaiming  james bond will return   oh i certainly hope not  with pierce brosnan in his third and reportedly last goround as james bond 007   the world is not enough  is the best example to date that  enough  is enough  in this  the 19th chapter in the seeminglyendless franchise featuring ian flemings debonair british secret agent who likes his martinisand his nemesesshaken not stirred  the subinspired screenwriters have chosen to rehash all of the setups  stunts  and sexy encounters of the previous 18 bond flicks rather than coming up with anything the slightest bit original  weve got previouslyused speedboat chases  ski chases  and sticky situations aboard nuclear submarines  weve got a couple of hottotrot babes without an ounce of acting ability between them  weve got a postcold war megalomaniac bent on world domination slash destruction  here played by a skinheaded robert carlyle with mean  lean panache   and  as has been the case since 1977s  the spy who loved me   weve got a plot that has nothing whatsoever to do with anything conceived by mr  fleming  weve also got a main title song by garbage to which  with very little effort  you can fit the lyrics to  both  songs from  tomorrow never dies   while originality was never the series strong suit  the films were almost always fun  with at least some thought going into the nonstop stunts  i cant think of one memorable setpiece in the entireand very dull  the world is not enough   in addition  michael apted  yes  the respected director of such films as  coal miners daughter    nell   and the  28up  documentary series  takes embarrassing advantage of the full range of bond clich  s  you get the  talking killer  plot deviceyou know the scenario  the bad guy has the good guy at his mercy yet waxes poetic just long enough to die of old age  and you get a slew of highpriced assassins who cant hit a barn door at 20 paces  in the films opening minutes  of an endless 128   bond chases a sultry sniper along the thames and the leatherclad lovely fails to hit bonds soupedup  fishing boat  with a bazooka when he pulls within a few feet of her  later  she takes off in a hot air balloon with bond dangling from a guy rope beneath her but is still unable to take him out  these reliable absurdities are more frustrating than usual since there are no distractions other than occasional ads for luxury automobiles  vodka  or credit cards  in and among the rampant product placements  brosnan grapples with carlyle   braveheart  s sophie marceau  as former kidnap victim slash heiress elektra king  shes terrible    wild things   denise richards  as a nuclear physicist lord help me  shes laughable   and judi dench as m  dame judi brings the only shred of dignity to a series that has long since jettisoned its selfrespect  about the time roger moore inherited bonds walther ppk   brosnan goes through the motions with the grace and charm youd expect of the former  remington steele  star  but even he has to be thinking theres more to life than an easy paycheck  hes given plenty of wiseacre asides to deliver  but only one of them  i dont know any doctor jokes  made me chuckle  although  i thought christmas only comes once a year  is more in keeping with the series penchant for grownworthy puns   
neg	when walt disney pictures announced a liveaction feature based on the 60s cartoon series of  mr  magoo   special interests groups representing the visionimpaired let out a cry of dismay  mr  magoo  they claimed  would be an insult to the men and women they represented  in fact  they were wrong  mr  magoo is not just an insult to the blind and nearblind  its an insult to every human being who has the misfortune to suffer through this dreadfully unfunny  90 minute atrocity  its stating the obvious to remark that disney appears to have run out of original ideas  look at their roster of 1996 and 1997 releases  and youll see a shocking list of retreads  including 101 dalmatians  george of the jungle  jungle2jungle  that darn cat   flubber  and now mr  magoo  the best of these  george of the jungle  was mildly entertaining  the worst  mr  magoo  exposes just how painful a bad movie experience can be  the first problem with mr  magoo is the script  despite the collaboration of naked gun scribe pat proft  mr  magoo is comically barren  from beginning to end  theres not a laugh to be found  every attempt at humor  and there are lots of them  falls flat with an audible thud  youd think that out of the dozens of gags jammed into this film  at least a few would work  but thats not the case  ive had more laughs during ingmar bergman pictures  then theres leslie nielsen  who looks  sounds  and acts absolutely nothing like the animated character  memorably voiced by jim backus   in the past  nielsen has proven his comic aptitude with roles in movies like airplane and the naked gun  lately  however  he has been getting lazy  taking parts in the likes of dracula  dead and loving it  spy hard  and mr  magoo  even if nielsen was in top form  it would take an incredible stretch of imagination to see him as magoo  especially since were reminded of the original by the short cartoon segments that open and close the film   but  top form  is not a phrase i would use to describe his performance here  this is strictly a takethemoneyand run operation  the story  which  like many disney stories  can be described in one long sentence  magoo is the only witness to the theft of a rare jewel from a museum  and  as he is trying to apprehend the thieves on his own  the police mistake him for the robber  the cops are played by ernie hudson and stephen tobolowsky  who take their lumps early and often  the bad guys are kelly lynch  who does a lot of martial artstype kicking   nick chinlund  and malcolm mcdowell  who has the good sense to look embarrassed   matt keeslar portrays one of magoos sidekicks  his nephew  waldo  the bumbling mans other  more interesting companion is a dog named angus  most of mr  magoos humor comes in the form of failed slapstick  the cartoon violence level in this film doesnt approach that of home alone 3 or flubber  but its still pretty acute  with characters getting hit on the head with sledgehammers and knocked off snowy precipices  theres a nonviolent bit with magoo preparing a chicken dinner that could have been funny if it was handled better  but  compared to mr  beans recent  similar misadventure  it doesnt hold up well  then there is the series of lame jokes that result from magoos near blindness  such as the occasion when he mistakes a wild animal for a baby  im willing to cut director stanley tong a little slack  tong  a hong kong film maker trying to break into the hollywood market  has helmed several jackie chan movies  including first strike  rumble in the bronx  and supercop  his chief talent  that of choreographing martial arts fights  is wasted here  despite some high kicking by kelly lynch   like john woo  hard target  and ringo lam  maximum risk  before him  it appears that tong has been consigned to the purgatory of making a bad movie as his entry into the american mainstream  it is worth noting that  unlike many disney films which hold a perverse appeal for the under10 crowd while driving parents to distraction  mr  magoo appears to bore viewers of all ages  the screening i attended was walltowall kids  and  for the most part  they didnt seem to be enjoying themselves  when the film was over  i asked one little girl what she thought of it  her pained expression confirmed the adage that a picture can indeed be worth a thousand words  mr  magoo is the kind of movie that should be rejected by any potential viewer  sight unseen  
neg	david spade has a snide  sarcastic sense of humor that works perfectly on the tv sitcom just shoot me  it also served as a good showcase for him when he costarred  opposite the late chris farley  in tommy boy and black sheep  lost and found marks the comedians first attempt at going solo in a movie  and it also reveals that when spade doesnt have a reliable backup system  his brand of humor seems more desperate than one may expect  david spade is not the problem with lost and found  he plays dylan ramsey  the sweet main character  to the best of his abilities  the story revolves around dylans obsessions with his beautiful new neighbour  lila dubois  sophie marceau  from braveheart   and her terrier named jack  dylan believes that the best way to a womans heart is through her dog  and so he kidnaps jack  planning to stage a fake rescue  in hope to win lila over  there are three good things about lost and found  the first is spade  the second is sophie marceau  a lovely actress whos been planted into the wrong movie  lastly  theres the dog  who is used here in a similar context to puffy from theres something about mary  unfortunately  director jeff pollack finds more humor in putting jack through a cycle in the drier than he does with simply making him look cute  this kind of physical humor is dead  pollack does everything but beat the poor pooch with a baseball bat to get laughs  and this procedure is cheap  unfunny and resoundingly cruel  this is where i start to get fuzzy  also in this unusual blend is  apparently  a sweetnatured love story between dylan and lila  given the meanspirited comedy that the movie is obviously striving for  i found this hard to swallow  and  why does dylan even deserve someone like lila  after kidnapping her precious dog and putting it through such pain  predictably  lost and found opts for a happy ending  one that feels so sentimental  gooey  and rings so false that it sets off a siren in your head that makes you feel a bit cheated  david spade  who also cowrote the movie  tries hard  so very hard  to make this project amusing  there are some choice scenes that are quite funny  but the movie is only sporadically funny  patrick bruel plays the stock character of rene  the pompous jerk who also wants to win lila over  with his good looks and money  jon lovitz and martin sheen are welcome additions in two tiny supporting roles  despite a few positive attributes  lost and found just doesnt work  if youre searching for an enjoyable romanticcomedy  you could do far better than this obvious  misguided failure that shows a blatant disregard for what its trying to present  
neg	9  its pathetic attempt at  improving  on a shakespeare classic  8  its just another piece of teen fluff  7  kids in high school are not that witty  6  the wittiness is not witty enough  5  the comedy is not funny  4  the acting is poor  3  the music  2  the poster  1  its worse than shes all that  10a classic 9borderline classic 8excellent 7good 6better than average 5average 4disappointing 3poor 2awful 1a crap classic 
neg	sometimes i wonder just what the censors are thinking  take this film   naked killer   among its ingredients are heavy doses of violence  rape sequences  straight and lesbian sex scenes and what our system calls  coarse language   but what do those intelligent people at the censorship bureau choose to remove in case someone will get offended  one word  penis  thats it  in spite of everything else in the movie the one thing that the censors decide is too much is  penis    it really restores youre faith in the system  huh  anyway  thats just a side point  when naked killer was released in the local independent cinemas around melbourne  it was advertised ad nausuem as a hip  cool  controversial thriller  what they forgot to mention was that it isnt very good  the plot involves male cop tinam  simon yam   investigating a series of brutal murders  while getting a haircut he meets and finds himself attracted to a girl named kitty  chingmy yau   who  after extracting revenge on the man who killed her father  falls in with professional killer sister cindy  svenwara madoka   realising kitty has potential  cindy decides to train kitty in several unusual and ridiculous ways and gives her a new identity  however in the course of his investigation tinam  who believed kitty had disappeared   runs into her again  but isnt quite sure if its her  to complicate matters the actual serial killlers  princess and baby  who a former students of cindy  and have been told to kill their old master and her new student  from then the action ensues    all in all  this is not a well done movie  the script is awful  the direction all over the place  the editing is jerky and confusing and the subtitling is surprisingly poor  however the are a few stand alone pieces that do entertain  the shoot out in the car park is almost woolike in adrenaline  the fight scenes are energetic and i guess it must get a few points for trying something a little different  let me put this way  if you like action  get something else  if you like strong women in movies  get something else  if you have do decide between this and  black cat  for your hong kong female action  dont get either  even for curiosity value it just isnt worth it  lets face it  if ever the was a movie that became popular on its subject alone  this is it  
neg	after seeing blaze and driving miss daisy  i was ready for some mindless funoh  maybe something like tango  cash  maybe not  mindless fun is one thing  but braindead slop is another matter altogether  tango  cash has  lowest common denominator  written all over it  the movie stars sylvester stallone and kurt russell as rival undercover cops in l  a  russell plays cash  a reckless slob who dresses in jeans and tee shirts  stallone plays tango  a wealthy investor who works on the force strictly for the thrill of it  he doesnt need the money  in an effort to change his image  stallone goes for a yuppie  gq look in the film  wearing spectacles and three piece suits  the two detectives reluctantly become partners after they are framed for murder and have to break out of prison to clear their names  tango  cash is unbearably noisy  for starters  theres harold faltermeyers annoying synthesized score  which gets old after four notes  to make matters worse  the filmmakers seem to think that when it comes to loud explosions and screeching cars  the more the merrier  in fact  the movie begins with not one but two car chases  theres nothing like a good old car chase to introduce the characters in a movie  screenwriter randy feldmans brain must have gone to mush from watching too many cop shows on tv  his shockingly stupid screenplay undermines anything and everything the movie has going for it  such as stallones efforts to convince you that tango is an intellectual  in a movie with the iq level of an amoeba  even a great actor is going to have trouble looking intelligentand stallone is no lawrence olivier  its hard to imagine anyone reading feldmans script and thinking   i want to be in this movie   the films plot doesnt have one original bone in its body  andagainyou have to point your finger at the screenwriting  feldmans story line succumbs to every crime thriller cliche in the book  making tango  cash altogether generic and predictable  they simply could have called it  action movie   every character  every twist and turn  is stolen from television or from other movies  adding insult to injury  tango  cash is about as believable as a  road runner  cartoon  action movies dont have to be realistic  but they should absorb you enough so that youre not thinking about the lack of realism  the only artistic aspect of tango  cash is the cinematography  there are some spectacular shots  especially during the rainy nighttime prison break in which tango and cash slide to safety on electrical wires  the films main draw is the chemistry between stallone and russell  unfortunately  their relationship rarely progresses past macho competition as they endlessly bicker about who packs more meat in his pants  the dialogue consists of nothing but oneliners  and consequently the attempts at character development are embarrassing  its a shame because with a workable screenplay  russell and stallone could have turned tango  cash into a charming  lethal weaponesque  adventure  tango  cash tries to maintain a light tone  and you do laugh about once every five minutes  seeing russell in drag is the movies funniest moment  but you probably already have seen it in the commercials  furthermore  the light tone does not sit well against the relentlessly brutal violence  machine guns and torture generally dont mix well with comedy  jack palance appears in tango  cash doing what he does best  playing a sleazy  conniving villain  his character  however  is runofthemill  except for his strange obsession with mice  like many movie villains  palance likes to play games  in fact  he sets a ridiculously elaborate trap for tango and cash  a trap which sends the two detectives to prison so they can be beaten and electrocuted by some meanies in the boiler room  you have to wonder why palance doesnt just shoot the detectives in the head  the story would crumble if any of the characters were to do anything intelligent  teri hatcher plays stallones sister and russells loveinterest  and she is just as pretty as can be  but regrettably  hatchers acting is not on par with her exceptional beauty  every time she opens her mouth  you cringe  corny dialogue and atrocious acting are always a fatal combination  theres really very little  if anything  to recommend in the film  and  more to the point  tango definitely isnt worth a penny of your cashso dont bother  
neg	in  the 13th warrior   arab poet ahmed ibn fahdlan  antonio banderas  finds himself kicked out of baghdad for feeling up the kings old lady  with his translator  screen legend omar sharif in a small role   ahmed heads north to act as ambassador to the northmen  vikings   he finds a group of warriors mourning the loss of their king  a messenger soon arrives from another kingdom requesting assistance  a soothsayer says that thirteen warriors must answer the summons  twelve northmen and one outsider  thus  ahmed becomes the  13th warrior   on the trip  ahmed manages to learn the vikings language by listening to their fireside conversations  a bit farfetched  its true  but we have to swallow it if this flick is going to manage a few lines of dialogue amidst the grunting  ahmed  whos called  ibn  by the vikings  forms friendships with herger the joyous  dennis storh  i  and the viking leader buliwyf  vladimir kulich   when they arrive in the other kingdom  the thirteen warriors discover that theyre facing an army of supernatural cannibals that live up in the caves  hereafter  most of the movie is battle scenes  the cannibals attack the vikings  the vikings attack the cannibals  the cannibals attack the    well  you get the idea  just to add some action  theres also a viking vs  viking duel  other movies insert scenes between the fights  these scenes are called character development  i suspect that  the 13th warrior  had a better script at one time and that it fell through the cracks because of the tagteam direction  the movie started off in the hands of john mctiernan  youll notice a lot of similarities between  warrior  and mctiernans  predator   including the chittering jungle sounds   somewhere along the line  mctiernan bailed and michael crichton took over  crichton  whose novel  eaters of the dead  is the basis for  warrior   has directed a small assortment of goofy sciencefiction  thrillers    westworld    coma    looker    runaway   their result of their consecutive efforts is a murky and pointless movie  perhaps what  the 13th warrior  needs more than anything else is a villain  the  eaters of the dead  are a faceless mob in blackface  they have no personality  and by the end they dont even seem particularly threatening  the audience has no target toward which to channel its aggression  mctiernan should know about the importance of an interesting villain  it was his  die hard  that made villains seem fun and attracted bigname stars to the evil roles in action films   the 13th warrior  suffers from a lack of vision  it wants to be  predator  meets  braveheart  meets  the magnificent seven  meets  dances with wolves   with so many competing goals  all it can do is echo what it might have been  it might have been a satisfying action film  it might have been a beautifullyrendered medieval epic  it might have been a thoughtprovoking examination of the meeting of cultures  what a shame it turned out to be nothing in particular  bottom line  if you want to see antonio swing his sword  rent  the mask of zorro   
neg	there isnt much good about this movie  not much i can say about the acting  directing  or writing that would make you consider seeing this movie  so ill get my one good comment out of the way  at least joel schuemacher  batman  robin  didnt direct it or it would be titled  technicolor city   in fact there is nothing colorful about this movie  its dark and depressingly gloomy right down to the bitter end  the plot has a tendency to be interesting  but all that passes while your laughing at the ridiculous things thrown into what could have been a fascinating movie  the plot is impossible to explain due to how senseless it gets  so i will just touch on the bare minimum  john murdoch  rufus sewell  awakes in the bathtub of a cheap hotel  only to find out he has forgotten everything  john must find out who he is before the  strangers   a  k  a  mind erasing aliens  find him and use him for their own evil conspiracy  during the film some interesting points are raised about human individuality  and the existence of inherently evil people  any of these points however are completely  erased  from your mind as you watch the actors stumble through the dreadful script  as i mentioned earlier  nothing but the atmosphere is right in this film  the acting is bland  and since there is virtually no character development no one seems to care  the special effects are low budget and some even hilariously fake  a sign of a true  bmovie   the direction is poor and there is little continuity  not that you would expect it in a movie switching realities constantly  lastly the script is weak and has no concept of reality  and doesnt deserve to have the word  science  in sciencefiction  if i havent got my point across  ill say it more plainly  this is a bad movie  lets hope the next movie by alex  i wish i was tim burton  proyas is at least tolerable  
neg	 varsity blues  is the best film of 1999 thus far  unfortunately  it is also the first film i have seen from 1999  it is another one of those smalltown sports movies that involves a flawed  but goodheartedfrom 1999  it is another one of those smalltown sports movies that involves a flawed  but goodhearted protagonist  a rough and meanspirited coach  and the  big game   by the end  will the underdog overcome great odds and triumph  will everyone in the town turn against the coach  will the team win the climactic game  do cats bathe themselves regularly  the socalled  hero  in question is john moxin  james van der beek   a senior at west canaan high school who plays for the varsity football team  but is really just hoping to get a scholarship at brown university so that he can get out of the deadend town  at least hes got the right idea  since west canaan  texas is portrayed in the film as  frankly  pathetic  with the whole town treating the weekly football games as the second coming  heck  in one scene  the front page of the towns newspaper is proclaiming about the west canaan badgers big win the night before  when the teams star quarterback is severely injured  tearing the ligaments in his leg  john finds himself taking over as the teams leader  but his few minutes of glory do not last long  as he begins to have problems with his girlfriend  amy smart  when she discovers he spent an evening with another girl  ali larter   and after staying out all night with his drinking buddies at a strip joint  all of the teenagers in the film are portrayed as raging alcoholics   the team loses their secondtolast game  putting john at feuds with the coach  jon voight who  like gary oldman  is overstaying his welcome in the typecasted role as the  bad guy    worse yet  the coach is threatening to ruin johns scholarship chances if the badgers dont win their final game  the plotting of  varsity blues  is as old as the hills  and contains every cliche in the book  admittedly  i was never exactly bored while i was watching it  but i hasten to add that i was rarely ever entertained  throughout  all i could really think of is how virtually the same exact story had been filmed with a great deal more thoughtfulness and maturity in 1983s  all the right moves   one of the biggest problems i had with the film is how little of interest any of the characters actually were  least of all certainly not john  who  played by van der beek  of tvs  dawsons creek    is pretty much a bore without any engaging qualities  while i probably shouldnt blame this on van der beek  since the inauspicious and  bythenumbers  screenplay by w  peter iliff isnt of any help  he is still certainly not in the league of tom cruise in  all the right moves   the story revolving around john  meanwhile  is extemely thin throughout  particularly for its 104minute running time  and it alternates between uninspired comic relief  as in when the students see their sex education teacher working as a stripper at the club  and heavyhanded melodrama  the romance between john and his girlfriend had the potential to be an adequate subplot  but we also learned very little about her  which is unfortunate since amy smart  whom i dont think ive seen before in past films  is probably the only character written with any sort of intelligence  smart does not allow her character to become the  passive girlfriend   instead coming off as a young woman with her own ideas and opinions  its too bad the camera didnt linger on her long enough so we could hear some of those thoughts  the adult characters probably fare the worse of any  since they all must play residents of a dimwitted town that cares about nothing but football  johns relationship with his parents can also be telegraphed far in advance  his father is set on him becoming a football player at a university  but john doesnt want any part of that  his mother stands beside her  big  strong husband  and is a passive female  finally  jon voight plays the stock bully coach character and he does nothing to make the thankless role any more than onedimensional  saving  varsity blues  from being a total washout are a few amusing sequences  including one set in the sex education class  which did get a laugh out of me  the scenes of playing football were wellshot and thankfully didnt overstay their welcome  as many sports films fall victim to  but leaving the theater  the question i had in my mind was why did this film need to be made  i seem to be asking this question quite a lot lately  since the same old stories seem to be cranking out of hollywood  do we really need another highschool sports film  no  we dont  and certainly not one of this lowcaliber  which felt like a cutandpaste job of spare parts from much better  but similar  films   varsity blues   no doubt is the first one  however  to include an earnest scene in which one of the characters is only wearing whipped cream on their private parts  
neg	for a film touted as exploring relationships and black sexuality  trois is surprisingly tame  despite its lurid subject matter and its passing nod to fatal attraction  it moves along with flat  uninspired dialogue as it sets up a surprising climax that tries mightily to overthrow the considerable dead weight of the rest of the film  freshly moved to atlanta  jermaine  dourdan  and his wife  jasmine  moore   have the trappings of a perfect life  they have a beautiful house in suburbia  jermaine is a lawyer on the fast track at his firm  jasmine is his supportive wife  who is finishing up her college degree  in an opening montage via a home video of the pair  we see the unremarkable story of their marriage and early marital triumphs  this is a couple that has it all  into this eden slithers the lure of lust  despite his outward appearance  jermaine reveals himself as selfish and covetous of his wife more as a possession than a person  a glimmer of his true nature peeks out during an early sex scene with his wife as he goes about his business  oblivious to jasmines concerns  we also find that he has been relentlessly asking jasmine to participate in a menage atrois  much to jasmines dismay  as jermaine puts it   dont you want to be sexually free   jermaine shares his desire with coworker terrence  smith   who obligingly sets jermaine up with a woman who might be interested in just such an encounter  the woman  jade  palmer  is a direct counterpoint to jasmine  jade  at one point was a college student  too  unlike jasmine  she found herself pregnant  dropped out of school and now struggles to make ends meet  to further reinforce their differences  its revealed that jade is involved in a custody battle over her son  inevitably  through liquor and a touch of duplicity on jermaines part  the forbidden act is consummated  the aftermath of the encounter sidesteps into fatal attraction territory as acts of violence are perpetrated upon jermaines property with the hint that the violence may escalate  by this point  trois shows itself to be a soap opera without the requisite melodrama  a fatal attraction without the social significance  the exploration of relationships is strictly superficial and stereotypical  jermaine comes off as insincere  sexually driven and selfish  jasmine is bland and subservient  jade comes off a bit sympathetically  but that is negated by her moral bankruptcy  yet another tale of a sexually aggressive  dog  of a man who imposes his will upon his accommodating  innocent mate  the last 10 minutes will undoubtly throw you a curve  but by this point  will you even care  if the rest of the movie was as dynamic as the ending  perhaps there could have been some freshness to it  as it stands  trois is pretty standard fare  
neg	 mission to mars  is one of those annoying movies where  in the middle of the movie  you get the sneaking suspicion that the reason the trailer looks so good is because they showcased all the best parts of the movie  all five minutes of it   mission   does  give you payoff  but when it does come  its too little  too late   mission  has some good ideas  but they get lost in the unbearably boring delivery  dimeadozen dialogue  and spate of good actors wasted in cardboardcutout roles  im sure the director and writers were very proud of each hallmark moment they came up with  so they stretch each dramatic moment out like silly putty until it loses all its charm  glances dont communicate any deeper emotions just because you draw them out for five hours on end  the film spends an hour on this kind of stuff  building to its climax  a lot of it is a cliched glorification of family relationships  marriage  friendship  unite we stand divided we fall kind of crap  there are some spectacular special effects sequences in this film  and i give it points for trying to stay true to the science i know  trying is the key word here   the sequence with the martian demonstrating their history is oddly beautiful and touching  but as mentioned by then were so sick of the goddamn thing we want the movie to be over  great design  good intentions  but no cigar  if youre not a die hard scifi  fx or jerry oconnell fan  his character is the only one who has some semblance of character   dont waste your eight bucks on this  and what the hell  tim robbins died halfway through the movie  in a stupid way too  thats just unforgiveable  
neg	my friend here in film school just made a two minutelong film for one of his classes that includes a staged anal rape scene  done by two guys and shot on the shadow of the incident  with a banana being used as the instrument of penetration  as sick as this all is  watching it is one of the most admittingly hysterical moments ive ever witnessed  sure  it may be in bad taste  but what the hell is bad taste other than something that may be offensive to some but is riotously amusing to the rest  then theres  caligula   this film features incest  necrophilia  beastuality  anal rape  homosexual felatio of both sexes  elaborate and lengthy orgies  a greasedup fist forced up a mans rear  wine poured down a man whos had his urinary tracts tied off  a penis chopped off and fed to hungry dogs  etc  etc  etc  this could very well be a respectable film  and if could have been had the following not occurred  a  the events were graphically shot in clear view  b  the tone was not that of trying to shock comically but to  well  show  historical accuracy   c  the film was a 20 million dollar production with lavish sets  a rather impressive cast  and a whopping 2 12 hour running time  produced and funded by none other than bob guccione  owner of penthouse magazine   caligula  comes across as the most hysterical dramatic picture since  plan 9 from outer space  because underneath theres a sense that everything this film is doing is not only accurate and justified  but also brilliantly entertaining  after all  its not really the fact that this film features the aforementioned disgusting moments  but that it actually believes in them as dramatic weaponry  no film should be discarded because its content  because film is never about what its about  its about how its about  as the old cliche goes   those who bash this film for content are glancing over the biggest and most obvious problem with  caligula   and thats that its nothing but overdramaticized bullshit from start to finish  without a second of credibility in its mammoth running time   caligula  allegedly tells the true story of the evil roman emporer of the same name  a man who was so insanely decadent that his assasination came as a blessing    or so i guess  even though almost every single roman emporer was assasinated as well and for much the same reasons  the film opens on the wrong note  of course  with a quote from mark appearing before any image graces the screen  using the overused passage  what shall it profit a man if he should gain the whole world an dlose his own soul   depite the fact that the opening scene of the film is of the emporer before he was an emporer  fucking around with his own sister in a field  i suppose if one has to lose their soul  one has to have a soul in the first place   the plot is so incomprehensibly done that all i or anyone else can make out of it is that caligula  disastrously played by the great malcom mcdowell  a performance that does the opposite that his performance in  a clockwork orange  did  is next in line for the throne but cant wait for the current emporer  tiberius  peter o toole  ditto  only for his performance in  lawrence of arabia    his grandfather  to die    so he kills him and ascends to the throne  then he abuses his position  marries a woman  helen mirren  who retains her dignity as an actor by not exactly acting  so he doesnt just have to sleep with his sister  a dreadful teresa ann savoy  there to be pretty  naked  and willing to hop in the sack with mac or anyone he asks her to hop in with   abuses his position a little more  a little more  and a little more  and then  i believe  invades england  then is killed off  the filler  instead of recounting his life  is supposed to be  as guccione claims  the ultimate portrait of decadent pagan rome  complete with orgies  vicious deaths  and lots of nudity  but instead of being the historical accurate film it really really wants to be  it instead becomes gucciones twisted masturbatory image of what it could be like  oh  isnt it great that they just loved having sex  and that they killed people so disgustingly  and wouldnt it be great if i could make a couple bucks by selling this shit off as accuracy even though its so blatantly real bad porn that ive completely convinced myself that its not  i mean  why not just show a roman orgy when i can spend a good ten minutes examining every single facet that makes it up  and its not just that its disgusting or vile or whatever adjective you want to use to describe this film  its that in a film where the entire feel its going for isnt felt  its also the sloppiest expensive movie of all time  the sets are lavish  but so blatantly innacurate that i wonder if no historian wanting to have his name on this film explains this  but that doesnt matter since the cinematography is so dark that you wonder if a light meter was used at all  making this not only dark and ugly  but just plain dark  the camera operation is also the worst ive ever seen in my entire life  not only does this film hold the record for the most unnecessary zooms in one single shot ever  but often the camera will lose its subjects and pan around till they find them  then have them out of focus  the editing is so sloppy that some scenes are absolutely impossible to follow  there is no writer to speak of  what the hell does it mean that its  adapted from an original screenplay by gore vidal     but nevertheless  the dialogue is shit  so laughably bad that i cant in good faith believe that anyone with an iq over 5 could say them with a straight face  my favorite being the line when caligula inquires the doctor about the health of the dying tiberius   he could go at any moment  but with care  he could last a year or so    the music in this film is mostly prokofiev and khachaturian  they use his gorgeous  adagio of spartacus and phrygia   ad nauseum   used in an attempt to give the film some emotion  but instead feels as if it was shipped in from elsewhere  the orgy scenes  and one infamous lesbo scene between penthouse pets lori wagner and aneeka dilorenzo  are the result of reshoots by guccione himself  which are so obviously removed from everything else in this film that it only adds to the embrassment  every five seconds or so  the film cuts to random nudity  as if it was afraid its audience would forget this film is rated  x    john gielgud represents the only voice of sanity  walking around in his brief role as if he was constantly the mantra   im going to kill my agent  im going to kill my agent     and so on and so on  for over 2 12 hours  making  caligula  about as exciting and enriching as a three hour college lecture class and twice as deliriously annoying  guccione  in his pursuit of historical accuracy has instead made a film that is such a painstaking  arduous task to watch in its entirety that i doubt anyone can sit through an hour of it without irreversible psychological damage  throughout the entire film  the presence of guccione is easily felt  as if he were standing there at the edge of the screen  pretentiously looking down upon us saying  look what i can get away with  and if you dont like this  then youre a prig  and worse than that  you know nothing about history   uh huh  theres a clear difference between historical accuracy and doing something thats artistically good  a film which showed roman decadence as something that was perhaps liberating for some but could not last  that would probably make for a good film  but using historical accuracy as a licence to get away with any kind of disgustingfordisgustingnesssake acts is total  total bullshit  and all i can say is that guccione and the makers of this film have lost any kind of touch with either entertainment or eroticism  and have developed a pathetic and sadistic taste for both  judging from this film  theres a film that came out in 1989 called  the cook  the thief  his wife  and her lover   a magnifcent film by legendary cult director peter greenaway  also starring helen mirren   which deals with graphic sex  heartstopping violence and gore  and even a little cannibalism for good measure  that film not only never patronized its viewers  but also handled them in a way that was shocking  yes  but also  in a bizarre way  entertaining and totally involving  there were real characters there in a real situation  and best of all passion and just the right amount of restraint as not to get off on the fact that its going to be offensive to many  that film achieved everything it wanted to do  and has since retained a status as one of those cult films that is not only popular but actualy good  and its everything  caligula  might have been but  alas  wasnt  
neg	remember back in the mid 1990s when crime and macabre movies were all the rage   pulp fiction  and  fargo  both managed to get oscar nominations for the best picture  and not surprisingly  a slew of ripoffs followed in the years thereafter  that fad seems to be over but here comes christopher mcquarrie writing and directing  the way of the gun  that at first glance looks like another of those wannabes but upon closer inspection doesnt look like anything comprehendable  its a crime story so wrapped up in its own little world it has a claustrophobic atmosphere  a film that wont allow the story much room to expand outside its handful of characters and somehow still manages to turn a simple premise into something so complex its ridiculous  complexity should come as no surprise to anyone whos familiar with mcquarrie  he wrote  the usual suspects   which has become a cult favorite despite little critical acclaim  that film had a great story and was well directed but had such an elaborate  confusing screenplay it leaves many viewers scratching their heads after repeated viewings  you have to wonder if mcquarrie really had everything mapped out or if he was going for the hollywood idea that  if its really confusing and about criminals and cops that makes it fascinating   with  the way of the gun  mcquarrie seems to be capitalizing on the same idea  but this time the story is far less commercial  a shame because maybe that would have helped  the film tells the story of two drifters with no ambition and barely a reason to live but arent hellbent on death either  played by ryan phillipie and benecio del toro   they get lucky when they hear about a scheme between a bigshot exec guy and his trophy wife who are going to have a baby through in vitro fertilization  they figure they can kidnap the surrogate mother  played by juliette lewis  and get a nice ransom  along the way we continually learn of the shady dealings between the exec  his wife  their hired goons and the  bag man   played by james caan  the only actor in the film who looks like he knows what hes doing   the exec is some kind of money launderer so he obviously cant call the authorities for help  his goons and the bag man are on the kidnappers trail and each make different offers to get the mother back  the execs son is a doctor who also gets pulled into the fray and wants to make sure his patient is all right  meanwhile each of these characters has something hidden up their collective sleeves and the doublecrosses  secret love affairs and torrid pasts come as no surprise even though little of it has any relevance at all  mcquarrie doesnt know the meaning of the word simple  he seems to be more interested in showing us how clever he is than making a good movie  everything has to be complicated and confusing  so much so that its to the point of surrealism  nothing is what it seems in this reality  its one of those movies where you get dropped right into the middle of the criminal world and are expected to know most of the industrys rules and regulations  every scene with caans character exemplifies this perfectly  the kidnappers already know who he is and even chat with him  getting into conversations about  the business  and how it works and were hardly given a clue as to what theyre talking about  these characters are probably supposed to be great criminal sketches but theyre more like ideas rippedoff from sketches found in david mamets trash  no one here really acts like a real person  and the story is even further removed from reality  its like a dream without any appeal  take the opening scene for example  the phillipe and del toro characters are in a parking lot across the street from a bar or a club counting their money and stuff  they sit on a brandnew mercedes and the car alarm goes off  the owner is waiting in line and yells at them to get away from his car but they dont move  the guy and his loudmouth  pottymouth girlfriend and about 20 other people cross the street and gang up on them  youd think phillipe  and del toro are  going to pull out guns and scare them away but they dont  instead phillipe throws one punch and the two get beat down by a mob  theres a lot of things i didnt understand about this scene  first of all the owner of the mercedes isnt some yuppie or old rich snob  hes like a hippie straight out of the 60s  secondly  the two main characters seem to believe that they can actually take on the mob unarmed  lastly  it serves no purpose in the long run because later in the film the two are packing more artillery than a small countrys army  if they were suicidal they wouldnt have gone on the kidnapping job in the first place  and where they get all those guns is never explained either   theres a lot more i could pick apart about this film but that would be an exercise in futility  what it all comes down to is that nothing here is what it seems  which would be great if this movie were about pretty much any other story than what it is  absolutely none of the characters are likable or believable  and its all coated with a thin layer of black comedy which is good for a chuckle here and there but this film is definitely not a flatout black comedy and its use of such seems like a desperate attempt to kill screen time  with any film you see  whether you like it or not  you can at least understand what the appeal was to it  why someone would want to make it and why someone would want to see it  i cant say either for  the way of the gun   because it has very little going for it and i cant imagine anyone intelligently defending it  
neg	dirtywork has a premise of deliciously meanspirited potential  mitch weaver  norm macdonald  and his lifelong best friend sam mckenna  artie lange  are losers in life  they were constantly picked on in school  and now they cannot hold regular jobs  but as the trailer goes   there is one thing mitch weaver is good atrevenge   so he and sam parlay their unmatched skill in gettingeven schemes into a marketable revengeforhire business called dirty work inc  this should be the groundwork for a wonderfully wicked black comedy  but for a film called dirtywork  what ensues is rather clean of spirit  in fact  what makes mitch and sam start up their business is not a giddy desire to give bullies a taste of their own medicine  but rather a more sappy reason  sams father  jack warden  needs a heart transplant  and in order for him to move at the top of the recipient list  his compulsively betting doctor  chevy chase  asks the guys for 50  000 to pay off his bookie  so for all the scheming that goes on  beneath every underhanded plot isgasp  a heart  which undercuts the inherent nastiness of the premise  not that there isnt a lot of nastiness on displaythere is  but of a different sort  there are frequent sexual references  most prominently in the form of prostitutes and sams impotent fathers ongoing lust for them  and for a film rated pg13  director bob saget  yes  that bob saget  of fullhouse and americasfunniesthomevideos fame  and writers frank sebastiano  fred wolf  and macdonald himself  stretch the boundaries of good taste rather fararguably a bit too much so  was not one  but two separate instances of sodomy between animals really necessary    but the issue  of course  is not so much of taste as it is humoras in  is it funny or not  the answer is a resounding no  its not that macdonald isnt a funny guy  he was one of the more consistently funny performers on saturdaynightlive before his muchtalkedabout firing  and his dry brand of smartass wit translates well to the big screen  it also doesnt hurt that hes a natural  likable screen presence  he is able to give some of his lines a nice acid touch  but  for the most part  the oneliners  as written  are flat  and the broad slapstick gags just dont work  one running gag has him being literally tossed out of buildingsa real riot   still  macdonalds few shining moments are just about the only moments the film has  the late chris farley  as hysterical as he ever was  is amusing in a cameo role  but  as a whole  the supporting players are amateurish and seemingly free from any directorial guidance  saget tries to juice up the proceedings with kitschy cameos by gary coleman  adam sandler  and john goodman  but their minimal novelty value cannot prevent dirtywork from sputtering to the end of its brief 81minute running time  the film closes on a sad note of desperation  an indulgent reel of outtakes from which only those involved in the production would derive any amusement  come to think of it  i cannot imagine anyone but those involved in the production to find much amusement in the entirety of dirtywork  
neg	americas favorite homicidal plaything takes a wicked wife in  bride of chucky   and their unholy matrimony is something old  nothing new  the burning question on the minds of most moviegoers  however  has nothing to do with nuptial specifics or even how the movie stacks up  but rather whether or not the duo gets down and dirty on their bloodsoaked honeymoon  the answer is a sickandtwisted yes  and viewers are treated to a shadowy glimpse of some hotenoughtomeltrubber  or at least singe it  lovin  guess theyre anatomically correct  chucky  again voiced by brad dourif   of course  is the star of the  childs play  series  a my buddytype doll possessed by the spirit of a slain serial killer  in  bride   the plot  heh  picks up with his girlfriend tiffany  jennifer tilly  resurrecting chuckys remains  he was blown up at the end of  childs play 3   with the help of a black arts manual called  voodoo for dummies   silly mortal  before long  shes also been reduced to shinhigh figurine status  and the plastic incarnations of these onetime lunatic lovebirds hit the road to scope out some potential new human bodies  the rest of this rocky horror puppet show plays out as tiff and the chuckster stalk a young couple  nick stabile and katherine heigl  with conjugal plans of their own  leading them towards a new jersey grave where a magical  soultransferring amulet allegedly lies in wait  along the way  our murderous barbie and ken go through postmarriage motions similar to any given pair of newlyweds  bicker  argue  kiss and make up  but when they squabble over whos going to do the dishes  watch out  hey  even faux people have got to work through their problems  director ronny yu keeps the mayhem flashy and stages an inventive scene or two  but not even visual flair can make up for the fact that these creepy kewpies are neither scary nor menacing  when one of them charges  its nothing a good forward punt couldnt take care of  and when a climactic chase scene is needed  one of the dimbulb protagonists must pickchuckyup so the demonic toy can force his hostage to run at gunpoint  throw in some silly casualties and a ridiculous ending  will  son of chucky  be next   and this is a bizarrely bad 89minutes at the movies  as is the thing to do in post  scream  slasher cinema  don mancinis screenplay slathers on the injokes and genreparody  but little of the humor succeeds  proving selfreference can be completely worthless when it lacks bite  to be fair  though  most of  bride of chucky  is on autopilot  so its not quite right to single out one misfired aspect of the film  similarly shaky  the acting ranges from screeching camp to boring bland  the effects arent that special and the story is one big groaner  heres hoping chucky and his entire clan  past  present and future  rest in peace  
neg	this is the first film in what would become the most successful series of horror films of all time  a fair warning to those of you who might be inclined to watch this movie for the first appearance of everyones favorite goaliemaskwearing homicidal maniac  jason  the guy who single handedly controlled the overpopulation problem around the crystal lake area  doesnt start his quest to find the most interesting household item with which to kill someone until the sequel  while he does have a small role in this film  we the audience have to depend on another blood thirsty maniac to rack up the body count  the plot  like every other friday the 13th movie goes something like this  crazed killer murders as many unsuspecting teenagers as hesheit possibly can in the space of a 90 minute movie  the reasons that the afore mentioned unsuspecting teenagers come into contact with the bloodthirsty killer are usually of little importance to the story  but for those of you out there that might actually care about such trivial matters in a movie such as a plot  here are the basics  a bunch of unsuspecting teens get a summer job at a long closed summer camp  they are days away from the arrival of the kids and they are spending their time fixing the place up and making sure it is ready for the kids  sadly  they start being butchered one by one by the bloodthirsty killer  at this point i would usually say something about the quality of acting  directing or maybe something about the high quality of the production  since im not going to do that  feel free to assume that if i did  it wouldnt be positive  i will say that this movie looks as if it was made for about a hundred bucks  and that includes the actors salaries  if you are used to recent horror films like scream  you are in for a bit of a surprise  the only saving grace for friday the 13th is that it was really the first of its kind  with the killer taking real pride in their work  using as many methods of murder as they could  none of this single murder weapon stuff life that unimaginative leatherface in chainsaw massacre  or the creatively stifled imagination of halloweens michael myers who just used brute force or a really big kitchen knife  nope  in the friday the 13th movies  you can always count on the killer taking great pride in his work  one fun fact about this movie is that the cast includes a very young kevin bacon  although after this movie it is a wonder he ever worked again  the main reason to see friday the 13th is if you want to watch all of the series from the beginning  if not  stick with the later films with jason  everyones favorite hockey fan  friday the 13th is the sort of movie that is fun to sit down and get a couple of scares from  just dont sit down expecting a whole lot  
neg	theres a good  and timely  story trapped deep within the excess of murder in the first  a new movie about the abuses of our prison system  with a country wrapped up in feverish debate over the crime issue and the rights of the accused and the incarcerated in jeopardy  this expose would offer something rare to recent american moviesa point of view  but director marc rocco makes it clear from the beginning that pretentious  often nauseating  camera movements and slick  mtv style lighting and editing are far more important  theres not a moment in the picture where he surrenders technique for pure storytelling  and everything suffers  christian slater and kevin bacon star as defense attorney and alcatraz inmate  respectively  after spending an unprecedented amount of time in an isolated cell for attempting to escape  bacon murders another prisoner and faces trial  his young lawyer  slater  is fresh out of law school but determined to  put alcatraz on trial  for the abuses of it warden  gary oldman   the result is the usual courtroom theatrics imagine a stanley kramer production shot by hyperactive film school students  theres very little to praise here outside of kevin bacons earnest overacting and the appropriate story  theres a lot of overacting from everyoneyou know youre in trouble right away when r  lee ermey  the drill sergeant in full metal jacket  is cast as a judge  the center of reason and moderation  slater has never been convincing and certainly isnt here and oldman is on a bad streak of hammy performances  but the worst feeling you get while watching murder in the first is that the man behind the camera could care less about telling a good story  there are long exchanges of dialogue where the camera is not even moving near the characters  let alone with them  how frustrating it must be for actors to work under these conditions  if theres anything that has alway distinguished american films over the rest of the world  it is our ability to tell a good story  have we forgotten  
neg	this is the worst movie ive viewed so far in 98  the avengers  silly  man dressed in a bowler hat  woman wearing tight leathers  evil scientists dressed in teddy bear suits  greater evil  sir august de wynter wearing kilt  the question is what could have gone wrong with a potentially great idea with big name cast  the same question was probably asked of last years stinker batman and robin  i feel the production got a little too smug  the script a little to smart and direction was somehow lost in the chaos of random events that collided together to form a movie  my greatest criticism rests on the fact that there was no chemistry between emma peel and john steed  thurman and fiennes   something that was a vital element of the 60s tv serial of the same name  the dialogue goes on and on about tea and other finer british perks  but does not allow much room for character development and interaction  except to perhaps grate on the viewers nerves  one wonders why the dynamic pair bother kissing in the end except for pure english formality  connery as sir august  does not fair better than thurman or fiennes  his dialogue is as erratic as stormy weather  mostly embarrassing and poor quality  if there is a movie you would prefer never to see  i believe the avengers would be a good choice  for one thing  you will not have to witness a product that is far inferior to the three high profile names that is associated with the title  i cannot understand how something so poorly produced could have been released  but i put it down to one of those freak happenings in nature  like lightning you cant see it coming until it hits you  
neg	synopsis  bigbreasted and dimwitted sculptress britt gets really mad at her grad student boyfriend because he spends too much time on his thoughttransference experiments instead of her art showings  elderly  evil scientist everett longstreet switches minds with britts boy  in the meantime  and goes completely mental  comments  naked souls opens with a naked woman  and the movie makes no illusion that its a scifi vehicle designed to show pamela andersons  um  talents  if you are really interested in seeing andersons talents  however  i suggest you skip over this dud and watch the infamous pam and tommy lee honeymoon sex tape  now available on home video  at least with that  movie   you dont have to go through the painful experience of watching pamela try to pronounce multiple syllable words like  eclectic   a premise does exist in the movie  basically  while anderson wears skimpy clothes which barely contain her talents  she practices her art  brilliantly slapping plaster of paris on naked women  her boyfriend  meanwhile  spends 20 hours a day in a morgue trying to view the memories of dead prison inmates because this will  make a difference to humanity   whatever  the movie fails to explain how these two hooked up  be grateful  after we meet the evil everett longstreet  lots of technobabble and mystical mumbojumbo get tossed about  pammy has sex replete with cheesy makeout music  and minds get transferred  never fear  though  pammy uses her sharp mental abilities  ahem  to save her boyfriend in the end  unfortunately  no one saves the movie  avoid this wouldbe scifi thriller  unless youre in for a good laugh or two  
neg	mr  bean  a bumbling security guard from england is sent to la to help with the grandiose homecoming of a masterpiece american painting  the first two words should have said enough to let you know what occurs during beans trip to la  but if they didnt look out because you are in for a rather interesting if not odd ride  heck depending on your humor you might end up laughing through the whole flick  either way look out america bean is coming  well  what can really be said about this movie  there is very little discernible plot  that much is not hard to grapple with for it is a slapstick comedy  it achieves that goal rather admirably  but because it is that  the plot is just screaming for help  the whole premise that the movie is based on is to say the least flawed  the movie had its funny moments but there was no real story line other than something that could be thought up on a whim and carried through and in many causes adlibbed as you went  dont go into this movie expecting and theatrical masterpiece  but if this form of humor floats your boat then you will truly enjoy this movie  even if you dont like slapstick style humor you will end up laughing because somethings are just so stupid  the movie goes out and accomplishes what it aims  or so it seems  now when you look at the acting in this movie you have to think about two things  first was there any real acting and how hard is it to act in the slapstick manner  well  there was no real acting in this movie but some of the slapstick wasnt the easiest i am sure  i have to concede that mr  atkinsons acting in this movie is well done  although the role isnt too demanding the slapstick is  i think that the character could have had a bit more dialogue  it would have added quite a bit to the overall effect of the movie  now the rest of the actors in the movie  bad acting and poor casting  i think that the role opposite bean could have been better  just seemed wrong for the movie  a different actor might have done a better job of it but i wont presume that wasnt what was trying to be achieved  one thing that i must say  simply to get if off my chest is that i think transferring a sitcom to tv usually produces rather disastrous results  tv shows should do just that stay on tv  it will probably save some producers from getting ulcers  i can only think of a couple examples of tv going to the big screen effectively  the best known of those would have to be star trek  bean seriously fails to accomplish anything close to what that series gone movie achieved  now another thing that i have to state again is this movie has narrowed its target audience fairly tightly  the form of humor in this movie will not be liked by most people  these people will think like i did that this movie is stupid and pointless  but if you like the tv show you might actually like this movie  but to be on the safe side i am opting to recommend you save your money and not go to see this movie  there are many movies that are truly worth seeing unlike this one  
neg	wonderland is a rather sugary romance film that is as subtle as a ton of bricks falling on you  you can see its plot developing from a mile away  you are lured into its benign story of a single 29yearold girl looking for a soul mate in boston  as that city is depicted as a miniwonderland for singles  this is a star oriented film  and the star who carries the film is erin  hope davis   that this is a dating film  about singles who for reasons of fate or luck  or whatnot  have not had a successful match and are now putting most of their energy into fulfilling their careers  is nothing new  this type of film has been done often and better many times in contemporary films  the fictionalized documentary unmade beds did it more provocatively and with more of a sense of urgency than this film  the main quirk in the plot here  is that hopes pushy mother  hollan  visits her in boston  sees her daughters livein relationship with a radical protester  hoffman  breakup and decides to put a personal ad in the newspaper for her harvard medical school dropout daughter  who works as a nurse  this is done without her knowledge  it is cornball sitcom stuff  but  at least  it is handled as best it could be by the actors and director  it is easy to like erin  she is bright  caring  and attractively blonde  it is equally easy to care for the soul mate she keeps missing contact with  the financially strapped  ruggedly handsome  intelligent 35yearold alan  alan   who no longer wants to work with his father as a plumber but is doing volunteer work at the aquarium and attending college to be a marine biologist  of course  he comes across as being so good  though  he does kill some fish in the aquarium   that it is hard to believe hes for real  or just some cardboard shining knight put into the story to give it an ideal to shoot for  the contrived story revolves around their near misses in meeting each other in such spots as  the subway  at a restaurant  or on the phone  alans brother answers erins ad with a few of his pals  as they each try to respond to her ad in a phony way  making a bet that the first who gets to tongue kiss her  that the others witness  will win the bet  this subplot was as obnoxious to see take place as it is to hear told  that we have to see erin go through several dates to prove the point how ego sick these guys are  each one more annoying than the other  culminating in the most obnoxious one of all  that brazilian lover  jose   who is about as charming as a snakeoil salesman  who is actually the one she nearly flies away with for a holiday in brazil  was not only incredulous but downright contrary to the rich presentation of her character that was the heart of the story  anyway  as expected  alls well that ends well  for this watchable piece of fluff  that comes over on screen better than it does when relating its storyline  the dialogue was actually not bad  those dating erin or trying to flirt with her seemed to be uttering authentic things they would actually say in their situation  and  oh  by the way  wonderland refers to the stop on the boston metro  it is where greyhound racing takes place  
neg	be warned   brit love story in the offing  effeminate  mildmannered karl is about to take a beatng from a bunch of ruffians at school as he bathes himself under a shower  his genitals tucked between his legs in the manner of a posing transvestite  he is only just saved by prentice  who appears in all respects barring his protective attitude towards karl to be your average streetwise punkinthemaking  the ensuing scene ends up with both boys being ridiculed and then unfairly expelled from the school  they do not see each other for another eighteen yeas  in that time  prentice has matured into a somewhat loveable  if brash and bullheaed goon who screws up his jobs and relationships while gamely clinging onto perennial adolescence via lether jackets  motorcycles and punk rock music  karl  on the other hand  has grown up to become kim  a drabby  insecure woman who works as a verse writer for a greeting card company  chance brings the two together  and love  such as will inevitably blossom in your quirky british romantic comedy  is what this skewed little story is largely about  if at this point you think youre going to get any cheap laughs with that genderbending theme  see the birdcage  to wong foo     priscilla queen of the desert   you can just go home and brood on your own maladjusted sexuality you lowlife deadbeat  kim is a postoperative transsexual  thank you very much    a newborn woman for all purposes  with confusions and sensitivities that deserve treatment with a touch of delicacy  personally  give me those cheap laughs any day  id rather enjoy obvious camp than endure the shallow exploration of a soft hearted transsexual love story  different for girls comes up with a promising enough proposition  but does nothing that surpasses the merely workmanlike with it  by refusing to make the audience really uncomfortable with the notion of kim and prentices relation ship  or at the very least feel uncomfortable for them  prentice for example  doesnt seem to give hiself all that much grief when he becomes attracted to kim despite being a fightpicking  beerdrinking  macho kind of guy  and kim  for all her insecurities and fears is always saved any truly disturbing victimisation in the film   and instead drawing them into a basically wimpy love story  the film manages to lobotomise itself  lightweight comedy as its doomed to be  it couldve still have hacked it with the requisitive endearing couple  but this doesnt either  since even mrs doubtfire is sexier than steven mackintoshs kim foyle  and as either sex  hes just plainly a simpering wanker nobody should like  prentice does though  and thats never explained  but then rupert graves gives us so heroic performance as prentice  the guy who never grew up  and if there is a bafta prize for most convincing portrayal of a rabid fan at a buzzcocks concert  he should win that too  that i guess theres no reason to explain why hes so screwed up  if oddly enough you grow to like this show  youll be wanting your happy ending  and the film wont fail you there either  snide underling at kims office gets her comeuppance  misogynistic police officer who beats up prentice gets his comeuppance  the couple prevail against a disagreeable society and come together in kims apartment  kims sister and her impotent sargetype husband kiss and make up after a tiff  tv movie subplot with incidental juxtaposition   and best of all  kim sheds her insecurities and learns how to ride the motorcycle and wear leathers  making prentice ride pilion  awwww  terrific closure  happy ending  but just what is it thats differnt for girls anyway  if you figure that one out  let me know  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	a silly film that tries to be a black comedy but plays more like lightweight comedy  with its main asset being a beautiful film location along spains mountainous coastline  howard pigeon  jeff goldblum  is a 40yearold mineral water salesman who is married for 13 years to a wife constantly nagging him  elizabeth  mimi rogers   after a surprise birthday party for him  where his wife bawls him out for coming late to his surprise party  he confides to his best friend that he cant stand it anymore  and then tells him his plan to kill her while vacationing in the same barcelona hotel where they spent their honeymoon  jeff is going through a severe midlife crises  worried that he looks older than his age  he incessantly talks to himself  mostly agonizing over his bitter marriage and chastising himself why he went out with elizabeth for a second time  and then why he married her just because she laughed at his jokes and was attractive  he stutters and acts like a man who has lost his confidence  things change on their vacation  as elizabeth makes an effort to be nice while jeff now becomes the grouch  he nervously rehearses his murder plan in the hotel room  by accident the gun goes off and into the pillow where he imagined elizabeth would be sitting  when other hotel guests and staff come to check about the gunshot  he nervously explains that it was the tv  realizing how unworkable his plan is  he places the gun in the shattered pillow and throws it into the ocean while he waits for elizabeth  but elizabeth found his behavior odd during the entire trip  and when after a great deal of effort to get a reservation at the hotels 5 star restaurant he insists on eating in the room  she decides she had enough of him and checks out without telling him  as a result  he goes to the police to report her missing  while with the police  a telegram comes from his wife saying she left him and is going away because she wants to be alone  his boss and all those he works with are sympathetic to him  and he gets a job promotion  but soon the pillow with the gun is fished out of the water  giving the police cause to arrest him and search his home  there they find letters he has written incriminating him to the murder  the police also find out from the hotel staff about the gunshot heard in his room  in jail  things look bad for him  no one believes him  including his friends and lawyer  his boss fires him and the papers have a field day with the headline story  pigeon  a jailbird  out on bail  he realizes that his only hope is to track down his wife  through a call placed on his credit card  he tracks her down to a mountain resort  once there he learns that she took a hike up the steep mountain and he gets a priest to be his mountain guide after telling him the true story  the film is watchable just for the antics of the jeff goldblum comic performance  he is someone coming apart by the seams  while mimi rogers is his perfect foil  it was mostly pantomine humor  with the comedy charged in the changing facial expressions of the characters and the absurdity of the situation  a very minor farce that might appeal to the sitcom crowd  the film just didnt take its situation seriously and the story had many gaps in it  so it had no chance for black humor to develop  it instead played its setup of the henpecked husband acting out his fantasy strictly for entertainment value to see how many chuckles it could draw  
neg	   be warned    the following review contains some harsh language    the blair witch project  quite possibly the least scariest movie of all time  if you want to see real terror on the big screen go back and watch any scene with jar jar binks in the phantom menace  because this movie is not scary or even remotely creepy  my colleague and friend chuck dowling wrote that if less is more  then the blair witch filmmakers must have thought that nothing is more  and this worked for him  well  im sorry  but nothing    is nothing      nothing is not more  its nothiiiiiinggggggggggg        i do not pay 5 dollars to see nothing   nothing  is free  available all around the world at a location near you  i am absolutely in amazement that some people find this movie scary  i could just discount them and say   well  i guess they are just pansy chicken shits who are probably scared of their own shadow   but i have intelligent friends who like this movie and so that doesnt hold water  there must be some other reason   then again  maybe my first thought is correct  i think ill try pointing their shadow out to them one day and test their reaction   when i hear people praising this film  i never hear them talking about what makes up about 97 of this movie  three kids bickering with each other about being lost  they only talk about what might make up possibly 3 to 4 minutes of screen time  this being a few very short night scenes where the kids hear some unscary sounds and another where they shout  josh    over and over  this film should not be called the blair witch project  it should more accurately be called three dumb and pisspoor filmmakers get lost    and argue with each other  oh ladies and gentlemen you will be so scared when you hear them shouting  josh     and if you thought that was scary  wait till you see a pile of rocks  and then some tinkertoy lincoln logs  oh my dear lord you will be pissing in your pants with fear  oh yeah  and some goo on one of their backpacks  youve never seen terror like this folks  and you dont want to  the chevy chasegoldie hawn comedy foul play is creepier than this film   for current films  i highly recommend the sixth sense or a stir of echoes for a creepy filmgoing experience   this film is an example of marketing with no substance  the marketing was brilliant  and the whole nation is in awe of just the premise for the film  they want this film to be good  and i think they are reaching and praising the wrong movie because they dont have anything else to praise  that wonderful film that rejuvenates the horror genre may come along  but this is not it  this film could have been so much better  just think  if maybe there had been only 10 minutes of arguing about being lost  and 80 minutes of nighttime stuff  i saw this movie with a girl who was extremely pumped for it  she was sold on this film  and then  at one point during it  she turned to me and asked     are we supposed to be scared by this    ive heard one opinion that you  have to use your imagination  to create the fear in this movie  well  i thought that was what the filmmakers were supposed to do  use their imagination and create a good movie  i mean anyone can use their imagination and not pay 5 bucks for it  but even if you like this idea  then what are you imagining  an entity called the blair witch  some rednecks fucking with these kids  are either of these things really scary when you think about it    ive heard several people say that this movie makes them recall how scary it can be to be out in the woods and hear something  well sure thats scary in real life  but there are a lot of things that are scary in real life that are not scary in a movie nor even interesting  you could sit in your house and see a snake or a spider and it could be scary  but in a film it wouldnt be  and no  a movie does not need a big budget or cgi special effects to be scary or creepy  actually the less the better  see the equally awful remake of the haunting   but you have to do something  you cant just count on us all having nostalgic memories of how something like this could be scary  if it were real  and by the way  about the shakycam filming in blair witch  arent these supposed to be  filmmakers  who should know how to point a camera and shoot something without shaking the camera constantly  im not even talking about the couple scenes where they are terrified  thats justified  im talking about the other 87 minutes of the movie where they cant seem to shoot anything smoothly at all  minor quibble there  there is a feeling in me that the people that like this movie are suckers  that the filmmakers are just laughing their asses off all the way to the bank  and i think there is a good chance they will see this film again and say to themselves  what was i thinking     but  if they dont  then thats fine  if it works for them then thats okay i guess  i just lament that by making this movie a hit  we are going to be subjected to more of the  nothing is more  approach  pretty soon were going to get some movies like this  just a still shot of a prison jail cell  for 90 minutes  and well have to use our imagination and think to ourselves   my god  wouldnt it be scary to spend life in prison    this movie is the scariest movie of all time        or  a shot of a coffin  with some funeral directors arguing with each other   man  do you know how scary it would be to die        now this is the scariest movie of all time      r 
neg	there were four movies that earned jamie lee curtis the title of  scream queen  in the early 80s  two of them were halloween movies  but the other two  prom night and terror train  were the uninspired knockoffs that came directly after the success of halloween  the same  god  im scared  theres some guy in a mask coming after me  routine she did in john carpenters classic  jamie lee copies here  with none of the urgency or suspense  terror train takes place on  where else   a train  charted by some premed students finishing their first four years of higher education  most of them wont make it to med school  though  and its obvious from the foreshadowing done when the conductor complains   i wish to hell theyd put a radio on that train   the conductor character probably has the most lines of anyone  even jamie lee  from the beginning  hes talking his head off  he tells one of his coworkers  think on this  whens the last time someone built a shopping mall next to a train station   as if it makes any kind of sense  and it only gets better as he engages himself in an argument about the benefits of railroad over recreational vehicles  of course  the loudmouth conductor is the first person to find a bloody body  which is then gone when he brings a skeptical trainman back to view it  i forgot to mention the prologue  its a party three years earlier  with the same group of students  two of them play a trick on a geeky frat pledge  promising him hes going to get laid  they send jamie lee up to stand behind the bed and talk to the geek as he comes in  noticing a form on the bed  she says   kiss me  kenny   and he kisses the body on the bed  which happens to be a cadaver    oh my god  they killed kenny  you bastards    its a sick trick  and one jamie lee wasnt let in on  she still hasnt forgiven the guy as they board the terror train   you asshole  you cant have a good time without hurting somebody     the killing starts before the train even leaves the station  since its new years  everyones wearing disguises  a convenient plot device weve seen before   and someone stabs the guy in the groucho mask when no ones looking  at least one of the characters says its a groucho mask  when the killer dons it and steps aboard  it looks like gene shalit who  by the way  would make a great killer in a slasher movie  speaking of weirdlooking dorks who still persist on the entertainment scene  one of terror trains most famous gimmicks is the appearance of david copperfield  as the magician   who regails those aboard with illusions set to disco music  then theres his greatest trick  getting laid with hair that looks like that  for all its attempts at visual style and substance  terror train is more lionel than amtrak  more prom night than halloween  and nothing really worth watching  only diehard fans of jamie lee curtis and david copperfield  if he truly has any fans  should even attempt to watch it  and it makes me wonder if a horror movie set in an rv could be much worse  i mean  when was the last time someone built a shopping mall next to a train station  anyway  terror train is definitely the cinematic equivalent of a sleeper car  
neg	according to hitchcock and various other filmmakers  isolated motels  diners  gas stations and similar establishments in american southwest can be rather dangerous place for weary travellers  at the beginning of eye of the storm  1991 german american thriller directed by yuri zeltser  one of such places becomes deadly for their owners who get murdered during the stick up  ten years later their son steven  played by bradley gregg   who was blinded during the incident  still runs motel together with his older brother ray  played by craig sheffer   hardly anything happens there until alcoholic and abusive william gladstone  played by dennis hopper  gets stranded there with his attractive wife sandra  played by lara flynn boyle   their unexpected presence creates the chain of the events that would end in bloodshed  yuri zeltser  author of this film  was obviously inspired by hitchcocks psycho  but he chose to add some new and potentially interesting elements to the original plot  instead of norman bates we have two brothers  one of them traumatised physically  another mentally  sexual tension between beautiful female patron and shy motel clerk is heightened with the presence of alcoholic husband  eye of the storm is impressive in visual sense  with photography by karl walter lindenlaub providing a lot of claustrophobic atmosphere  the acting is fine  hopper  gregg and boyle are comfortable with their roles  but sheffer at times overacts his psycho routine  unfortunately  eye of the storm  which was supposed to be intense psychological drama  deteriorates into cheap and predictable slasher flick during melodramatic finale  in the end  this film reminds us that original approach cant prevent filmmakers from wasting too many opportunities   special note to the profiler fans  ally walker appears in the beginning of the film in the small role of killers girlfriend   
neg	if youve been following william fichtners career  and theres absolutely no reason why you should have   you might have noticed that hes played some rather similar roles over the years  like sully in  the perfect storm  tough  gruff  and a little bit scary  or law in  albino alligator  tough  gruff  and little bit scarier  or colonel william sharp in  armageddon   or dwayne engelman in  strange days   or even his brief appearance towards the beginning of  pearl harbor   as the abusive father of dannyhere is an actor who gravitates towards tough  gruff  hardhitting roles  which is why his performance in  whats the worst that could happen   is such a shock  such a delight  in the film  fichtner plays a blonde haired  meticulously dressed  overtly effeminate  dogloving detective  as alex tardio  fichtners performance borders on caricature but goes beyond it  it borders on offensive but doesnt really manage it  and it borders on clich  d stereotype but doesnt quite succumb to that definition either  in a role so diametrically opposed to what the actor has played before we should have seen it coming  fichtner isnt perfectyou can see him struggling a little at times  concentrating a little too hard on the look as he swishes his hand through the air  or nuzzles a coiffed canine up close and personalbut hes pretty damned good  and silly  and without question the best thing in the film  in fact  had it not been for fitchners sudden and bizarre appearance  and his jarring screen presence thereafter  i would have walked out  for  whats the worst that could happen   is mesmerizing in its awfulness  a poorly written  haphazardly edited  and totally unfunny  yes  it stars martin lawrence and danny devito so how could that be possible   moviegoing experience  fichtners performance doesnt exactly save the film  and its not like im recommending  whats the worst that could happen   solely on the strength of the actors dramatic turnaround  but his contributions do raise the films rating from no stars to oneandahalf  thumbs up to fichtner then  and thumbs downway  way  downto everyone else involved in this sorry mess  a movie so dull and pedestrian and nonsensical it doesnt even warrant discussion  
neg	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  its rather easy to start tuning out after about twenty minutes of finn taylors first feature film  dream with the fishes  when the plodding  tedious opening sequence finally pays off with a potentially provocative setup  any hopeful expectations  however  are soon vanquished as the film settles upon being an uninvolving mismatchedbuddy movie which is rarely as funny as it aspires to be nor nearly as affecting as it eventually strives to be in the films latter half  the films central characters are terry  david arquette   a depressed  lonely voyeur who claims to be despondent since the death of his wife in an automobile accident  and nick  brad hunt   a carefree young street tough later revealed to be terminally ill  nick lives in the apartment building across from terry  who spies on the trysts between nick and girlfriend liz  kathryn erbe  with his trusty set of binoculars  but the two young men first formally meet at the bay bridge where a halfdrunk terry precariously teeters upon the edge  unconvincingly vowing suicide  nick casually asks for terrys wristwatch  and eventually cons terry into a trade  the watch for a bottle of pills  of course  terry finds that the pills do not end up having the presumed lethal effects  and he angrily sets out to find nick in order to retrieve his watch  learning of nicks condition  he only has a handful of weeks left   terrys compassion kicks in  and the two eventually come to a distinctly peculiar arrangement  terry will agree to bankroll the dying nicks lifelong fantasies  and nick will fulfill terrys death wish by killing him  this is a promising premise  and mr  taylors film could have gone any number of ambitious ways from this point  but he instead chooses to capitalise upon the obvious inversion of the characters  terry is a repessed  mournful character who wants to die  while nick is a free spirit with a joie de vivre who is dying but wants to live  and takes the easy route out by turning dream with the fishes into a typical lark where the two characters engage in a series of generally dull exploits  and where the straightlaced character learns to enjoy and ppreciate life when hooked up with a quirky character  this is bythenumbers plotting  buddy movieroad movie redux  however  dream with the fishes is most hampered not by its uninspired storyline  but by the characters which carry the story  it helps in such a film to have at least one of the protagonists be at least somewhat empathetic  if not likeable  unfortunately  that is not the case here  where both of the films leading characters are thorougly uninteresting and annoying  giving the audience very little to sympathise with their respective plights  and even less reason to want to follow their onscreen exploits  far from a romp  this fatal flaw makes dream with fishes more like a chore to endure than a playful jaunt  and undermines the attempts at emotional resonance in the latter stages of the film as the two men begin to bond  mr  taylors dialogue sporadically falls flat in dream with the fishes  while attempting to capture a quirky and clever tone  it too often comes across instead as hopelessly contrived  witness such lines as  you should have asked something more interesting  like do you enjoy the pain    see  thats provocative  leaves room for further questions    the film enjoys a few inspired moments  the urn scene  a session of nude bowling  the policeman joining in on terry and nicks acid trip  but unfortunatetely these instances are few and far between  and for the most part the humour in dream with the fishes registers more as attempts rather than actual successes  this occurs particularly often during the films opening sequence  as terry is wrestling the bedridden nick for his watch in the hospital  im realising that this is  intended  to be funny  although nary a smile crept upon my lips  which is probably due to the obvious fact that its painfully clear to the audience from the outset that terry is going to be thwarted in his initial suicide attempts  sapping any element of surprise or amusement from nicks scheme of tricking him  this is not a film which has the wherewithal to kill off its leading star in the opening ten minutes  the entire sequence is  then  clearly an exercise for character exposition  with attempts at humour terribly diminished by utter predictability  among the cast  coming off best is david arquette  the current master in the portrayal of meek  squirming  stammering freshfaced characters  he would have been terrific as the lead for george huangs swimming with sharks  who gets to apply his adeptness for timidity as terry  mr  taylor ambitiously employs an interesting visual technique  where the portions of the film set in an urban environment have been processed to appear extremely grainy and heavily saturated  as opposed to a bright  crisp look for the smalltown scenes  the charge of dream with the fishess protagonists being wholly unempathetic is a bit of an odd one coming from me  i seem to have a predilection for films with unlikeable characters  and indeed  in many cases have i been in the minority  supporting films which have been condemned as interminable due to the difficult  audienceunfriendly nature of their characters  for dream with the fishes  though  i did find myself on the flip side of coin  often hoping that the film would quickly conclude  and that the nick character would just hurry up and die  
neg	for his directoral debut  gary oldman chose a highly personal family drama about a violent  alcoholic husband and father  and the various lives he affects  but while the characters  places and events may have special meaning to the writerdirector  the audience is left in the dark  the center of this tale is the abusive raymond  ray winstone   and the film focuses on him and the people who orbit around him  he spends his days hanging out with his friends at pubs and girlie bars  then  he returns home to his pregnant wife  valerie  kathy burke  and their fiveyearold daughter  raymond demonstrates his violent tendencies  and his paranoid delusions  early on when he accuses valeries brother  billy  charlie creedmiles   of stealing  raymond then proceed to beat  and bite  him to a bloody wreck  but these are the least of billys problems  billy is a heroin addict on the downturn  and it doesnt seem that hell last much longer  billy and valeries mother  janet  laila morse   is raymonds nemesis  she disapproves of him  and he of her   but is powerless to do anything about it  she merely struggles on  hoping her children will survive their respective torments  if this description seems bleak  i havent told the half of it  this is not a cheery movie  and most of the time its downright depressing  while at times it is interesting to watch to see just what makes raymond tick  and why no one ever simply calls the cops on him  in the end  its not quite worth it  there are too many scenes which randomly dot the picture with little or no purpose  take for example the extended sequence where one of billys scuzzy friends defends a stray puppy  the film is filled with these  character moments  that never really achieve anything  granted  there are a few genuinely powerful  and sickening  moments in the film  but their expression seems to be more of a catharsis for the creator than us  the actors do a fine job  particularly in the central roles  the good thing about an actor turned writer is that oldman knows how to write good scenes  and the actors in nil by mouth have some meat they can tear into  the bad thing about an actor turned director is that theres no one to restrain oldman from making poor choices  a good character drama should mean something to those involved in making the film and the audience  oldman got it about half right  
neg	my first exposure to the nightmare on elm street series of films was not this one  but in fact the third installment  it was the first to gain a national theatrical release   i didnt see the first film until much later  so looking back  the original didnt hold a lot of great memories for me  since i didnt think too much of it when i initially saw it  watching it now for a second time confirmed that its an overrated horror film that ultimately makes no sense whatsoever  you all know the story by now  child murderer freddy krueger  robert englund  returns from the grave by haunting the dreams of the children of those who burned him alive years before  this first installment does an adequate job with its low budget  but theres some absurd dialogue and conceptual problems with the story  plus the movies ending  understandably the result of the studio wanting the end of the film to have a  hook  for a sequel  renders the rest of the film pointless  and does anyone understand what happens to nancys mother at the end of this film  dont get me wrong though    its not as if a new generation of horror films have spurned me away from the classics  most horror movies released today are just as inane as this film is  horror is a difficult genre to pull off credibly  and a nightmare on elm street just doesnt cut it  a nightmare on elm street is available on dvd from new line home video  it is available both as a single disc and as part of the nightmare on elm street collection box set  the film is presented in both pan and scan and its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  78  1  although on the disc that comes in the box set  only a widescreen transfer is provided   the film has been digitally remastered and includes two options for audio  a mono mix and a new dolby digital 5  1 mix  also included on the dvd is a fulllength audio commentary track with writerdirector wes craven  stars john saxon and heather langenkamp  and the films director of photography  other extras include the  jump to a nightmare  feature  im sure you can figure that one out   the usual cast and crew bios  which are from the films original press release kit  and notably leave out robert englund and johnny depp    and the films original theatrical trailer  some dvdrom features are also included  but since i dont have dvdrom capabilities i cant really get into that  the commentary track is entertaining and informative  but nothing spectacular  the first thing of note is that its the same commentary track that was on the special edition laserdisc from a few years ago  im not saying thats a negative thing  just pointing it out  everyone seems enthusiastic about being there  with the possible exception of john saxon  who just doesnt say much at all  most of the time youll forget hes even there  everyone else talks really quietly though for some reason  as if because theyre commenting on a scary movie that they need to stay as quiet as possible  the bonus disc with the boxed set called the nightmare series encyclopedia features about 45 minutes worth of interviews relating to the first film of the series  also included is the original theatrical trailer and two alternate endings to the film    however you can only access one easily  the other is hidden in whats called  the labyrinth   which might possibly be the most annoying feature of a dvd ever created  basically  its an interactive game of sorts where you wander through different nightmare locations looking at objects which give you access to extra little snippets of footage  interviews  etc  somewhere in the labyrinth is the second alternate ending to the film  finding it though is both a chore and a bore  r 
neg	in 1989  tim burton took the legendary comic book figure of batman and turned him into a huge box office hit with an atmospheric little film that created an utterly distinct feeling somewhere between film noir and the godfather  was it  deep   nope  however it was a perfect entertainment and the audience ate it up  it was natural that roger ebert trashed it writing that it was  without the comic book uplift  of the indiana jones and superman pictures  which was true  if what you were looking for was the tale of a heroic mans escadapes and adventures you were looking in the wrong place  if those films were tom sawyer  then batman was huckleberry finn  some critics  glenn lovell of the san jose mercury news and peter travers of rolling stone  realized that it was something special  mr  lovell gave it    12 and wrote that  this is batman as batman should be    mr  travers called it one of the ten best films of the year  the praise was deserved  from start to finish the film was enthralling  exciting  and superb in every respect  there was no doubt that there would be a sequel directed by burton  the result was batman returns which forgets that it wants to be fun within the first five minutes  the villains  the hideous penguin and seductive catwoman  take over  and our epectations are always left unfulfilled  when we wanted the penguin to bite off batmans nose he simply gets mad  and when we want catwoman to slither over batmans body she gets pushed off a building  i admire mr  burton for trying to do more then entertain  but the result is a mess  nothing works out as planned  it fails both to entertain and to enlighten  hints are made to the audience that this film could be a blast  alas  these are only hints  there are  dont misunderstand me  several moments of cinematic genuis contained  catwoman and batman understand eachother perfectly without a word on the subject being said  christopher lloyd is trapped  by the penguin  within a giant cage  a small basket is dropped into a large river  but nothing is drawn together and burton is unable to make the film work on any regular basis  a weak followup  both career and sequel wise  batman returns is sometimes dazzling  but to often dissapointing  
neg	and i thought  stigmata  would be the worst religiouslyoriented thriller released this year  turns out i was wrong  because while  stigmata  was merely boring and selfimportant   end of days  is completely inept on all fronts  its a silly  incomprehensible  endlessly stupid mess  for a guy like me who grew up watching arnold schwarzenegger at his best  its extremely disconcerting to see where the big man has ended up  for the first time in recent memory  an arnold action movie  and  batman  robin  doesnt count  is no fun at all   end of days  is a major stinker  the movie opens in vatican city  1979  some catholic priests have observed an ancient prophecy  which says that a girl will be born on that night that satan will have targeted for impregnation  if he impregnates her between 11 and midnight on december 31  1999  the world will be destroyed  the pope orders protection of this girl  though some priests believe she ought to be killed  in new york  that very night  a girl is born to fulfill the prophecy  twenty years later  we meet jericho cane  schwarzenegger   a suicidal excop with a drinking problem  now working as a security guard for hire  he is protecting a local businessman  gabriel byrne   who is actually possessed by the devil  an assassination attempt on the businessman by a crazed former priest leads him to the girl satan is after  christine york  robin tunney   recognizing elements of his own murdered daughter in christine  including ownership of the same music box  apparently   jericho swears to protect her against the devil and the faction of priests looking to kill her  there are so many problems with this film its hard to know where to begin  but how about starting with the concept  casting arnold in a role like this was a mistake to begin with  schwarzenegger is a persona  not an actor  so putting him in a role that contradicts his usual strong personality is a bad idea  arnold has neither the dramatic range nor the speaking ability to pull off a character tormented by conflicting emotions  in other words  trying to give him dimension was a mistake  harrison ford  mel gibson  or even bruce willis could have played this role  theyve all played noble and flawed heroes   but not schwarzenegger  there are several scenes that attempt to establish jerichos character  one has him contemplating suicide  another crying over the loss of his wife and daughter  and even one in which the devil tries to tempt him into revealing christines location by offering him his old life back  none of these scenes really work  because arnie isnt up to the task  the filmmakers would have been better off making jericho a strong  confident character  like the terminator  for example   the likes of which schwarzenegger has excelled in before  this one isnt at all believable the way arnold plays him  the supporting cast tries their hardest  and only gabriel byrne makes any impact at all  as the prince of darkness  hes suave and confident  he acts like one would expect the devil to act  the problem is that the script has him doing things that make no sense  more on that later  and that undermines him as a powerful villain  byrne outperforms arnold in every scene they have together  including the aforementioned temptation bit   but this is problematic when it causes the audience to start doing the unthinkable  root for the devil  byrnes speech about the bible being  overrated  actually starts to make sense  mainly because arnolds attempts at refuting it  mostly of the  tis not   variety  are feeble at best  the only problem is  arnold has to win  so in the end  nobody really cares  kevin pollack plays jerichos security guard sidekick and tries to liven things up with some comic asides  but like most bad action movie sidekicks  he disappears after about an hour  robin tunney isnt given much to do except look scared  in fact  all of the supporting players are good actors  but none  save for byrne  is given anything interesting to do  performances aside  it would be really hard to enjoy this film no matter who starred in it  this being an action blockbuster  its no surprise that the worst thing about it is the script  which starts off totally confusing  and when some of it is explained  and not much of it is   its utterly ridiculous  why is the devil coming on new years eve  1999  because its exactly 1000 years after the year of the devil  which isnt 666  it turns out  some nutty priest accidentally read it upside down  so the real year is 999  so just add a 1 to the beginning  and youve got 1999  if you dont buy this explanation  youre not alone  its convoluted and silly at the same time  the method by which jericho locates christine york is equally ludicrous  shes christine  see  and she lives in new york  see      and if that werent bad enough  theres plenty of bothersome stuff in this film that isnt explained at all  why can satan kill everyone he passes on the street  but when it comes to snuffing out one drunk excop  hes powerless  is he impervious to only one kind of bullet  how come he cant control jericho or christine  and how did those gregorian monks deal with time zones in their prophecies  a clumsy attempt at a joke is made about this  but its never actually explained  usually  this sort of thing wouldnt matter in a schwarzenegger flick  i mean  dont get me started on the time paradoxes offered up by the terminator movies   but this time the plot inconsistencies stand out even more than usual because the action is rarely exciting  there are several predictable horror film clich  s present in  end of days   complete with the old  black cat hiding in a cabinet  bit  not that we ever find out what the cat was doing in there  it gets so formulaic that its possible for those uninterested in being scared to close their eyes at the precise moment a  boo  will come  their predictions will rarely be wrong  the more grandiose action sequences are utterly charmless  partially because we dont care about these characters  due to the scripts pathetic attempts at characterization and setup   and also because they  too  dont make any sense  theres a scene where schwarzenegger gets thrown around a room by a little old lady  its good for a few chuckles  but not much else  supposedly were to believe she now has super strength by virtue of being controlled by satan  but the script never sets that up  so the scene is merely silly  none of this is terribly exciting  because all the action sequences are so badly framed that its often hard to tell why its happening in the first place  not to mention that theyre edited in fullon incomprehensible mtv quickcut style  most of them had me scratching my head  rather than saying   wow  cool    end of days  is not only silly and confusing  but its also distinctly unpleasant to watch  the devil apparently doesnt operate in the more subtle  illconvincepeopletokilleachother fashion outlined in the bible  but instead enjoys killing people gruesomely in broad daylight  this doesnt only make him an awfully predictable sort  but it also means that not a single scene in  end of days  goes by without unnecessarily graphic violence  or the odd kinky sexual encounter  yet another bit that had me scratching my head   if violence is supposed to be shocking  its not a good idea to throw so much of it into a movie that the audience goes numb  scenes arent connected through any reasonable means  so a lot of the time  stuff gets blown up  or people get killed  and i had no idea why  reasons  to hell with reasons  lets just blow stuff up  isnt it cool  nope  not by a long shot  this film is thoroughly unwatchable  its dull  interminable  and unrelenting in its stupidity  perhaps arnold needs to make some movies with james cameron to revive his career  because its not happening with hack peter hyams here   end of days  might have had camp value  if only it didnt top itself off with an overly pious ending that nobodys going to buy  if the movie is going to be serious  the filmmakers should have come up with a decent script  if its going to be campy  arnold shouldnt be taking himself so damn seriously  i didnt actually see him put up on a cross  did i    and his character shouldnt be such a sad sack  as it stands   end of days  is just a bad movie  and an awfully gloomy one at that  
neg	stephen  please post if appropriate   mafia    crime isnt a funny business by homer yen  c  1998 on a particular night when i found myself having some free time  i had a chance to either go to sleep early or to see  mafia    a spoof of mafia and crime films such as  the godfather    goodfellas  and  casino   at 84 minutes in length  i thought that i could enjoy a few laughs before getting a good nights sleep  but by my account  i think that my laffometer only registered a few grins  one giggle  and maybe one chortle  i suppose that you could justify your time as homage to the venerable hollywood star  lloyd bridges  who just recently passed away and whose last performance was in this film   mafia   chronicles vincenzo cortinos  lloyd bridges  life  separated from his family when he was young  he escapes to america and tries to live an honest life  but as fate would have it  vincenzo grows up to be a powerful and klutzy crime lord  following in his footsteps are his two sons  joey  billy burke  and anthony  jay mohr   like all siblings in powerful crime families  they squabble over power  the future of the family  fortune  and women   mafia   is cowritten by jim abrahams  who also contributed to some gutbusting funny spoofs such as  airplane  and  the naked gun   but these previous movies were funny because the jokes seemed more universally understood and there was more of a manic silliness at work  as i write this  i also wonder how many people have actually seen the movies on which this spoof is based  crime movies in general contain a lot of profanity and violence  its a tough genre to parody  i was kind of hoping that they could somehow spoof the profanity used in all of those crime movies  maybe by having all of the tough crime lords say  please  as they decide which sector to take over  but this opportunity was never explored  there were one or two moments that made me smile such as the scene where vincenzo is dancing with his newly wed daughterinlaw  a gunman shoots him several times  the impact of the bullets cause him to make these wild contortions that force the wedding band to change music styles to keep up with him  from the samba to disco to the macarena  i think that i just gave away the best part of the film  oh well  that just means that you can go to sleep a little earlier  
neg	die hard 2 is an altogether unfortunate fiasco  inferior to the original in every respect  place the blame squarely on the shoulders of steven de souza and doug richardson  who wrote the films pathetic screenplay  every line of dialogue reeks of either smarmy sap or forced humor  the plot is altogether implausible  the convoluted story line involves a band of terrorists who take over dulles airport and shut down the control tower  leaving a dozen planes stranded in the air waiting to land  the film has zero credibility  and all of the characters come off as cliched  cardboard cutouts  so much for the script  how about the action  well  lets put it this way  director renny harlin could learn a few things from john mctiernan  who directed the original  as well as the hunt for red october and predatorall standouts for their hairraising suspense  by contrast  harlin doesnt have a clue when it comes to choreographing action  and consequently  die hard 2 never picks up steam  die harder is impossible to take seriously even for a minute  in fact  the movie often seems deliberately campy  and it almost reaches the threshold of being so bad its good  you do laugh  but you laugh at the film  not with it  die hard 2 should have never been cleared for takeoff  
neg	i admit it  i thought arnold schwarzenegger had a knack for comedy when he made twins and true lies  watching him in jingle all the way  i wondered why anyone ever thought he could carry such a lame movie targeted at susceptible kids  it was one thing to scare the crap out of kids with the pg13 kindergarten cop  but parents who let small children see this movie will have to explain themes of violence  alcohol consumption  burglary  racism and child molestation  and you know theyll burst out in tears when arnold punches one of santas elves  he later decks a reindeer  hey  man  why dont you just kick the easter bunny in the nuts while youre at it  jingle all the way is formula crap that follows the if someone falls on his ass  it must be funny school of thought  arnold  sinbad and phil hartman crash to the ground more times in this movie than a special olympics hockey team  and the movie dredges up more cliche and less believability with each successive scene  what can you expect from a movie whose entire premise is that two parents cant find a rare toy on christmas eve  and will do anything to get one  arnold is  of course  one of the parents  a crack salesman who is never there for his son  he races from the office to his sons karate game  only to find out he missed it  and his kid distrusts him because hes never around   gee  we havent seen that in a movie before   arnold the absentee father becomes convinced that the only way to buy back his sons affection is to get him a turboman doll  which his wife  rita wilson  who will never be the breadwinner of the hanks household choosing roles like this  told him to get weeks ago  so arnold sets out to find a turboman  which turns out to be more rare than the tickle me elmo was when jingle all the way came out  let me back up for a minute here  arnolds kid is totally obsessed with this turboman character  which is unhealthy beyond belief  watches the show  eats the cereal  sleeps on the freakin turboman sheets  id try to discourage any further obsession myself  lest any kid seeing this movie think its a wonderful thing to con your dad into racing out to buy you any toy you want  but nooooo  the climax of jingle all the way has arnold dressed up as turboman in a parade  exonerating himself of all wrongdoing in the eyes of wife and son  who dont recognize him until the last minute  this is a sad movie all the way through  but it only gets worse after the opening scenes of arnold and mailman sinbad stampeding through a store  racing off to the mall and hooking up with a santa  jim belushi  who runs a bootleg toy factory  most painful to watch is a scene at a radio station  where sinbad holds off the cops with a letter bomb after beating up the deejay  an embarrassed martin mull  who said he was giving away a turboman doll  capitalism has produced some pretty evil things  chia pets   but this ode to excess and violent consumerism is one of the most shameful  never mind the subplot with perfect neighbor phil hartman trying to seduce wilson while arnold is off shopping   your cookies are incredible    its the main plot of the movie that sends the message that its okay to do whatever it takes to get your hands on what you want  maybe thats what christmas is like at the schwarzenegger house  but not at mine  
neg	when the haunting arrived in theaters  all i kept hearing about was the overdone special effects and the fact that very often the unseen bumps in the night in a horror film are far scarier than those that you can put a face to courtesy of special effects  while i agree that this remake of the haunting goes a bit overboard in the visual effects department  i dont think that they are completely to blame for this movies failure  it appears that some people have failed to take into account that the original haunting had the  unseen  terrors  and it was about as scary as a dust bunny  so special effects or not  if the story isnt the least bit scary  you arent going to end up with a very frightening movie  the thing that interested me most about this movie was the caretaker of this building played by bruce dern  dern is always great  and even though he may have had only about 3 minutes of screen time he was still the most interesting element of the movie  as i sat through the seemingly endless  albeit fairly impressive  special effects  i kept wishing that this movie was about derns caretaker and not the one dimensional characters that populated the cast  never a good sign when a bit player is the best part of the movie  liam neeson plays a scientist who is conducting experiments on fear  he decides the best way to get results is to trick a group of fairly unstable individuals to spend a few days in a haunted mansion  he tricks them into participating by letting on that he is conducting an experiment on insomnia  and he also fails to mention that the mansion has a reputation for strange goingson  catherine zetajones  lili taylor and owen wilson play his subjects  like the original  taylors character is the star of the movie  but since she doesnt quite have the marquee power of liam neeson and ms  zetajones  their parts did seem to be a big larger than in the original  and lets face it  probably half the people who see this movie will do so because of zetajones  ill admit that i would have never seen this thing if she werent in it  but the real stars here is the special effects combined with the fairly overdone sets  they take over the movie as the supernatural elements of the house start to interact with our hapless insomnia patients  there really isnt much of a story here  just endless setups so director jan de bont can showcase all the nifty special effects that he got to play with  and the special effects are great  in many cases they are as good as you are likely to see anywhere  in other cases they are overdone and obviously thrown in just for the sake of hitting the  cool shots  quota  at no point in the movie do any of these things ever come close to being scary  funny  maybe  but not scary  then we have the set  when i first saw the house  i was very impressed with the very cool gothic look about it  but it only took a short tour by the characters around the place to see that the set designers obviously had as much money to burn as the visual effects people did  and decided to take the idiotically overdone route  this included a flooded hallway with books as stepping stones and a mirrored circular room that revolves  what part did these rooms play in the story  absolutely none  they were just there to take our minds off the fact that there was neither a descent story nor a single scare in the entire movie  then we have the actors  lili taylor has never been one of my favorites  and when the fact that her character is mousy and pathetic is factored in  she comes in around the average or slightly below mark  i have no idea why liam neeson took this role  he basically reminded me of the ringmaster at an out of control circus  his character was in charge of this farce but it quickly got away from him  i have no doubt that liam will want to lock all prints of this movie in a very secure vault along with all copies of darkman  zetajones was cast because she is too hot for words  the fact that her character is bisexual is just icing on the cake  all catherine has to do in this movie is look good  fortunately that is something she does very well  while she does have a fairly good size part  it is obvious that her only purpose in the movie was as eyecandy  its too bad someone of her talents wasted them here  any random supermodel pulled out of a fashion show could have easily filled her role  the haunting is the antithesis of another of 1999s horror movies  the blair witch project  the haunting had a seemingly limitless effects budget  while blair witch relies on piles of rocks for its scares  both prove quite nicely that special effects are irrelevant to a horror film  if the story sucks  its all downhill from there  my advice  if you are looking for special effects  go rent star wars  if its scares you want  rent halloween  either way  its probably in your best interests to skip the haunting  
neg	plot  set in the future  a courier has uploaded some data into a  hard drive  that resides in his head  and must now escape the bad guys who are after that very important information  since he overloaded his  hard drive   hes also racing against the clock before the information seeps into his brain and kills him  critique  incoherent  boring  oneact drivel with no suspense  horribly unbelievable futuristic environment  bad dialogue  careerdefining bad acting by keanu reeves and a hilarious ending  its too bad because the premise of the film was interesting  but unfortunately for my friends and i  this movie turned out to be just as bad as everyone had warned us  its one of those films that makes you start laughing halfway through  when you realize that most of the actors in it suck  the location shots are filmed in dark  junkyard  type areas which they would like to have us believe to be futuristic  whatever      and all the sets look like     well  sets  there is also absolutely no arc to this story  it basically starts off with keanu uploading info into his brain  and then a bunch of folks chasing him from place to place until a laughable ending puts a stop to the former uneventful proceedings  gibson should stick to writing novels and  xfiles  episodes  since his segue into the paranormal tv series was much more entertaining than any of this garbage  some other hilarities of this film include dolph lundgren as some futuristic jesus character whose supposed to kick ass  henry rollins as a pumpedup cyberdoctor or something  and icet as some kind of a hobo dude with paint all over his face  dont ask   the ending is the funniest with some robot dolphin and a stupid ghostlady from inside the computer doing some stuff that no one really cares about by that point  im ashamed to say this film was shot in my hometown of montreal  canada  but sadly enough for us all  it was  some of the cybertravelling special effects were okay  hence  the 210   but overall  its one of those bad movies thats just funny to watch and cringe at  thankfully for keanu  he redeemed his scifi career with 1999s the matrix  7  510   its too bad that he has yet to redeem his lack of acting talent  little known facts about this film and its stars  as of 1999  director robert longo never directed another fullfeature film  hmmm    now isnt that odd    writer william gibson immigrated from the us to canada in 1968  after being rejected for the draft  he lived in toronto at first  but since 1972  has made vancouver his home  his 1984 novel  neuromancer  and its sequels 1986s  count zero  and 1988s  mona lisa overdrive  are generally considered to be the definitive works of the  cyberpunk  sciencefiction subgenre  this film garnered keanu reeves a nomination in the  worst actor  category in the 1996 razzie awards  
neg	i am a steven seagal fan  i only say this now because  mufti splenetik  isnt my real name and because i probably need to explain why i went into this film expecting great things  any proud seagal fan worth his beans will tell you that the seagal formula is something you can depend on  seagal films can always be counted on for minimal dialogue  heaps of expendable baddies with extemely crunchable bones  which well always hear when seagal does his limbtwisting thing   rarely a female colead in sight  unless its a reallife modelwife who hasnt worked since weird science  and  usually the worst possible titles you can imagine  not to mention very straightforward plots  generally allround bad dialogue and mr implacable leatherface himself in that same black outfit hes been in since nico doing his  my hands are sharp  nimble knives  thing  seagal the stoic  sir petrified ponytail  duke of dull  in the glimmer man  seagal breaks out of this formula  he gets a  sidekick   attempts to banter  and puts on a new vest  hes also put on quite a lot of weight  small potatoes  you may say  a man should be able to accessorize and banter if he wants to  but damnit  if it aint broke  why fix it   more on this disappointed persons dashed expectations later   as jack cole  seagal is a homicide detective with a questionable past  while he and his partner  played by keenen ivory wayans  are investigating a series of ritual killings  cole himself becomes a suspect  especially when a background check run by campbell reveals practically nothing on cole  it turns out that cole is a former trained government assassin  you just cant trust these homicide detectives   someone whom victims used to catch just a glimpse of in the jungle before he pounced on them  and hence  well  you know  that  glimmer man  thing  an increasingly fishy homicide investigation in the present soon leads to the gradual uncovering of a larger  more threatening conspiracy that involves a crooked businessman  bob gunton   coles former cia boss  brian cox  and deals involving chemical weapons  the glimmer man plot is pretty standard stuff  drawing  as with his other films  elements from the hotter films of the year  eg  se7en   its the other changes that disappoint  for example  although theres a fair amount of violence in this movie  theres also the disastrous pairing of seagal with keenen ivory wayans  probably the best known of the wayans tribe  how many are there  exactly   from televisions  in living colour   wayans plays whiney straightman to seagals beadadorned and brocadedraped cole  keeping up his  are you crazy  part of the dialogue with wasted zest  as campbell  wayans confines himself to bemoaning his new partners eccentric habits  but the chemistry between the two is minimal  and seagals wooden comebacks make for painful watching  a cook in under seige 2  seagal is now a buddhist who speaks chinese and wears prayer beads and intricate silk jackets over his normal black ensemble  he chants  refuses to fight unless truly provoked and introduces campbell to powdered deer penis to cure his allergies  again  a benign  if trite  plot device except for the fact that these new character traits require seagal to speak more than usual  heck  he has to deliver punchlines and carry a steady conversation with someone other than himself for a large part of the film  is that a lot to ask of the seague  too much  seagals best characteristic used to be that he knew his purpose in this already complicated world of movies  to crunchily snap off bad guy appendages  and to do it silently  and alone  not for seagal  the snappy oneliners of arnold and stallone  nor the attempts to show that he can act  much less think  no kindergarten cop  no oscar  just simple  unadulterated deathblows  thats really how it must have started  likeminded fans who knew what they wanted streamed in to watch the seague do his thing  knowing that never in the seagal universe would they ever have to see him do anything else  we trusted him  we got to know him  now  betrayal  i dont know if i can watch another seagal movie without that little niggling doubt that hes going to try to be funny again  ill try  but it wont be easy  if you havent watched the glimmer man yet  you might want to wait for the video to come out  its easier to just fast forward the dialogue parts and linger on the action sequences  after all  if we cant depend on our fantasies  what can we depend on  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  mufti spelenetik is still a steven seagal fan  everybody makes mistakes once in awhile  
neg	 the 13th warrior  comes at the end of as summer where weve already experienced man eating sharks   deep blue sea    man eating crocodiles   lake placid   and even a man hunting witch   the blair witch project    now   the 13th warrior  presents a tribe of flesh eating men who believe that they are bears  the story  if thats what you want to call it  follows ahmed ibn fahdlan  antonio banderas  an arabian poet who falls in love with his kings wife and is banished from his home land  he then travels to the land of the vikings and becomes an ambassador to them  eventually the vikings are called upon to protect the people of the village who are being hunted by the flesh eating men  thirteen warriors are chosen to go on the mission  and as you guessed it  ahmed is chosen as the thirteenth  hes not a warrior  and at first not well accepted by the vikings  but as the movie advances hell have to prove himself both on and off the battlefield  thats basically the entire plot  there is also a romantic subplot that has been so badly mishandled and  one assumes  drastically cut that you begin to wonder why the filmmakers didnt just edit out all of the scenes attaining to that part of the story  instead they chose to leave just enough of those scenes in to annoy the viewer  the film is basically non stop action and when it pauses and tries to develop a story it becomes a laughing stock  the battle scenes  although well choreographed  are not involving and not the least bit exciting  we dont get to know any of the characters and so we dont care who lives and who dies  the film  which wants to be beowolf  comes across more as a failed actionadventure story aspiring to epic proportions but not achieving it on any levels  it was directed by john mctiernan whos   the thomas crown affair  is also playing in theaters currently  and its not that mctiernan worked simultaneously on both films but that   the 13th warrior  was placed on the shelf for so long with the studio just waiting for a time to dump it on audiences  it belongs back on the shelf  
neg	when i watch a movie like mike nichols what planet are you from  i cant help but feel like everyone is looking at me  its as if all the audience is gazing at the back of my head in the darkness  eyes shooting daggers  quietly blaming me for the fact that they paid hardearned money to spend their time watching this    this    thing  i shift uncomfortably in my seat  im reminded of how i feel when i see a pair of second or thirdrate celebrities engaging in a teleprompted  funny  conversation to introduce the next blockbuster award  its not my fault  i know its not my fault  but dammit  someones gotta be embarrassed  because it doesnt look like anyone on the screen is ready to take the blame  im about to give you a list of names of people who are gonna make a movie together  garry shandling  annette bening  john goodman  greg kinnear  mike nichols  do any of these names make you instantly shudder  the answer i would have come up with before today is no  this is quite a list of talented individuals weve got here  granted  john goodman was in the flintstones  and greg kinnear has turned in some lessthanlackluster leading man performances in certified failures like a smile like yours  but even so  theyve got proven power as excellent supporting players  garry shandling has two television classics under his belt  his ingenious little its garry shandlings show and the larry sanders show  and for gods sake  mike nichols directed the graduate  and annette bening is just walking away from american beauty  so explain this    this    thing  what planet are you from  purports to be a comedy exploring the relationship between men and women satirizing the whole poppsychology marsvenus phenomenon  but what this movie winds up being is a collection of unfunny cringeinducing moments coupled with uninsightful cringeinducing moments  the end result is  unsurprisingly  an unfunny  uninsightful  cringeinducing  thoroughly icky embarrassment  garry shandling plays an alien from a planet populated by technologically advanced but emotionally vacant males  they reproduce through cloning  of course   his leaders put a select group of males through a series of tests designed to determine which one is most fit to fly off to earth  find a female of the species  and impregnate her  theyre taught how to pretend that theyre listening by nodding and saying  uhhuh   and how to compliment shoes  imagine my delighted surprise when  oh heavens  all their carefully practiced tactics turn out to fail miserably  producing comedic results  the lucky winner is fitted with a penis  since theirs  after generations of disuse have long since shrunk out of existence    i will restrain myself from mentioning the implausibility of such a scenario since the population has stopped evolving due to the fact that theyre all just clones    whoops  too late   the penis  when aroused  tends to make a humming noise  the writers  when frequently strapped for ideas  tend to turn to this as a source of  comedy   it isnt funny the first time  it isnt funny the eighth time  it isnt funny the eighteenth time  if anything  it made me feel vaguely selfconscious  garry meets up with a coworker at a bank played by greg kinnear  who turns out to be a generic  unlikable scumbag  hes meant to fill the part of unfortunate role model for shandlings alien character  but hes so flatly drawn that even the writers quickly give up and toss him aside  kinnears scumbagginess is demonstrated by the fact that he claims other peoples work as his own to worm his way into a vice presidents position and goes to aa meetings to pick up chicks  wow  what a magnificent bastard  nearly every man in the movie  in fact  is played as the same sort of sexdriven slimeball  when kinnears wife walks into the office  there isnt a single guy who doesnt trip  bump into a wall  or otherwise pratfall as if theyd never seen a woman before  the few guys that arent particularly slimeballs  such as john goodmans detective character  are simply uncommunicative workaholics  shandling meets up with annette bening  who will inevitably prove to be the love he never knew existed  at one of kinnears aa meetings  shandlings mission is to have a baby  and when he reveals his desires to her  bening instantly falls for him  and the next day    they get married  yup  the next day  cuz ya see  it turns out she wants a baby too  benings character perhaps was the most difficult to watch  especially after seeing her come apart at the seams so effectively in american beauty    if her character here is supposed to be representing the female of the species as a whole  then woe  i say  to the species  shes unfathomably insecure  and succumbs so easily to all of shandlings lines and lies that it borders on tragic  theres a point where  after thinking she may not be able to bear children  she learns that she is indeed pregnant  when garry comes home after nearly cheating on her  she strolls into the kitchen and sings  high hopes   you know  the uplifting ant and the rubber tree plant song  to deliver the news  and then says to him   now you cant leave me   were supposed to empathize with shandlings discovery of the feeling of  guilt   but instead i wanted to weep for bening that she was placing her entire life and soul firmly in the lap of a great big nothing  and eventually  shandling falls in love with her    for real  i suppose  though im not sure exactly what prompted it  whats the message i derive from all this  men are liars  inherently empty creatures  but if you hang around long enough    well  maybe something will click  ha ha    ha  im thankful such broad cynicism isnt frequently allowed to run so rampant  lets all join hands and pray that the planet these folks are from is not this one  theres also a subplot involving john goodman as an airline incident investigator that wades in the bog of stupidity  goodman  through a series of astoundingly implausible realizations  puts together the fact that shandling is a being from another world with a magic  vibrating penis  it has all the makings for a subplot of having shandling be discovered  that  thankfully  never comes to the inevitable hackneyed fruition  instead  it just dangles limply on the branch for a while  withers  and falls away  further proof that goodman should just stick to doing coen brothers movies  but lets not dwell on this any longer  ive already wasted plenty of your time and my own  lets move on  forget about what weve seen here  and get on with our lives  and to help us out  lets end things on a happy note    congratuations go out to annette bening  winner of this weeks  title   award  for delivering the awkward line of dialog containing the movies name  
neg	it seems like im reviewing cheeseball horror movies on a monthly basis now  scream revitalized a genre the studios are now intent on burying into the ground againthe serial killers in these new slasher movies have nothing on sony and miramax in the  relentless  department  i still know what you did last summer is a terrible film in many respects  but in the wake of the stupefyingly bad urban legend  its citizen hook  jennifer lovehewitt reprises her role as buxom teenager julie jameswho apparently escaped certain doom at the end of the last movie by    waking up  she lives in fear of ben willis  the vengeful fishermanvictim of a hit and run by julie and her pals  paranoid and beat  she accepts a free trip to the bahamas from her friend karla  norwood   winner of the local radio stations 4th of july getaway giveaway  bikiniready julie invites boyfriend ray  prinze  jr    whoand heres the movies biggest mysteryturns her down  but changes his mind and plans to surprise her before takeoff  until he gets a roadside visit from captain hellliner himself  that is  unaware of this and feeling shunned  julie goes on vacation  anyway  with karla  karlas boyfriend  pfeiffer   and will  matthew settle   a real boynextdoor type whos sweet on julie  to make a long story shorti cant believe it took a paragraph to describe the setup for this gratuitous sequelthe trip is a disaster  not only is it storm season  not only is the desk clerk  the frighteners jeffrey combs  a jerk  not only are the few island residents and our heroic vacationers getting picked off by the resourceful willis onebyone  but the karaoke machine isnt working properly   you think killing is hard  try reprogramming a laserdisc so that gloria gaynors  i will survive  now contains the lyric  i still know what you did last summer    all is not lostray is on his way to save the day  and a helpful witch doctor is saying little prayers for julie and co  this picture is really about breasts  two of them  julie  like a good horror heroine  never does up her shirt to the collar  always wears white in the rain  and keeps sexy underwear on in case of a sudden desire to tan  based on the hormonal charge i got out of the movie  i cant imagine what it was doing to the ten year old boy who sat next to mehe gets jennifer lovehewitt  and my generation got heather langenkamp  lucky bastard  i didnt like i know what you did last summer and i cant say i liked this continuation any more or less  the pacing in both films is languidhow is it that so much time passes with neither murder nor character development  i still know what you did last summer has a better sense of humour than the first one  though  and at least it explains away williss random selection of victims   i dont think the hotel maid or the stoner dude had the slightest idea what julie did last summer   director cannon  judge dredd  is a competent filmmaker but not a particularly imaginative oneif there is a part three  what on earth would they call it    and the fun denouement suggests there will be  heres my suggestion  hire a filmmaker with flair  someone who can really energize this stillborn seriessomeone who wont rely on so many shock notes  and let that person run wild with the camera   aside  if blandy sic must appear in the next one  try to keep the number of times she says  baby  to a minimum  thanks in advance   
neg	were back in blade runner territory with this one  conceptual artist robert longos vision of a william gibsoninspired future where information is the commodity to kill for  front and center is johnny  keanu reeves   a  cybercourier  who smuggles data via a  wetwired  implant  hes ready to quit the biz and get a portion of his longterm memory restored  but  first  he has to finish one last  dangerous job   the pressing problem in johnny mnemonic is that keanu reeves seems to have forgotten how to play an action hero since his stint on speed  hes walking wood in a forest of stiffs that includes henry rollins  icet  and dina meyer   dolph lundgrens street preacher is in an acting category all its own     without a believable performance between them  all we can do is sit back and watch the atmosphere  which is pretty good in places  the vr sequences are way cool  but the physical fxsuch as miniatures and mattesleave a lot to be desired  watch out for those bad bluescreens  we wouldnt mind a minute of johnny mnemonic if the action played better  too bad the debut director isnt very strong in this de partment  his big finale is a sloppy  silly mess that runs twenty minutes too long  which is way past the time that most of our  wet wired  processors have already shut down  bottom line  yatf  yet another tortured future   skip it  
neg	ok  i admit iti find camp amusement with the spice girls  yes  the same spice girls of the gimmicky individual  identities   they of the annoyingly infectious bubblegum pop hooks and cheesy unifying mantra of  girl power   but not even their guilty pleasure appeal isnt enough to carry their big screen debut  a junky mess which would be more aptly named shite world than spice world  the film begins amusingly enough  with a cheeky 007esque title sequence in which the british quintet  scary   melanie brown    baby   emma bunton    sporty   melanie chisolm    ginger   geri halliwell   and  posh   victoria adams  are introduced one by one  to  much to my surprise  excited and only slightly mocking cheers from the press audience  as they croon the silky ballad  too much   a tune that would sound right at home in an actual james bond film   a few minutes and an elton john cameo later comes an introductory tour of the numerous plotlines that run through the film   1  the spicy ones go on a european publicity tour leading up to their first live concert at londons royal albert hall   2  a film producer  george wendt  and a screenwriter  mark mckinney  pitch various film ideas to the girls manager  clifford  richard e  grant    3  a documentary film crew follows the girls   4  a pregnant  mate   naoki mori  of the group rapidly approaches her due date  and  5  a tabloid publisher  barry humphries  attempts to destroy the group with the help of a sneaky shutterbug  richard obrien   capped off by a live rendition of the girls bouncy hit  say youll be there   a wealth of laughs and merriment is sure to follow  right  wrong  its all downhill from there as spice world collapses into a series of misfired comedy sketches  i must give the girls credit for their refreshing willingness to make fun of themselves  but writer kim fuller and director bob spiers can barely come up with a funny joke between them  much less a organized framework for all the  wacky  goingson  spice world jumps from vignette to vignette  subplot to subplot with no direction and little sense  at one minute having the girls meet with aliens  no joke  and at another having them stage a daring rescue of two young fans who fall into the water during a boat ride  while a decent joke slips through the cracks here and thereduring a  dance bootcamp  scene  the girls sing the lyric  we know how we got this farstrength and courage and a wonderbra  much of the material is not even funny on the chuckle level  some gags are just plain pointless  such as roger moores recurring role as the mysterious chief  who dispenses cryptic  metaphorheavy advice to clifford  the only reason why i can think anyone would find that funny is the fact that moore once played james bond  ha ha  as weak as the script is  i think theres one insurmountable problem with even attempting to make a spice girls movie  and that is the girls themselves  the point is not that they cant act  and  for the record  they really cant  but that their individual personas  which works as a gimmick over the span of a fourminute music video  are too thin to survive outside of the truncated  video bite mtv world  posh  who garnered the most enthusiastic cheers during the introductions  comes off best by default because her persona  rich bitch  most easily translates into character in a film  babys persona  young innocent   to a lesser extent  also works  but the remaining girls identities are a little harder to flesh out  there really isnt much to do with sporty besides having her exercise every so often  which is exactly what fuller and spiers do   and  after all  what exactly entails being  ginger  or  scary   apparently  just their wardrobes  spice world manages to pick up some steam in the late going following a flashback performance of the spices signature hit   wannabe   the song is as grating as ever  but the energy of the number gives the proceedings a muchneeded shot in the arm  setting the stage for a wave of selfreferential humor stemmed from the screenwriters film ideas  the film almost mirrors robert altmans the player in the way the film snails into itself   this section of the film  involving all manner of derringdo involving a speeding bus  is perhaps its most effective  but it also points up how all the other storylines  the publisher  the documentary crew  lack a satisfactory payoff  spice world is harmless entertainment suitable for the entire family  and it will please the spice faithful  but this sloppy enterprise surely wont win them any new fans  which is what the group sorely needs to bolster its rapidly waning girl power in the states  once the hype disappears  spice world will likely serve as the the spices final hurrah in america  
neg	sylvester stallone has made some crap films in his lifetime  but this has got to be one of the worst  a totally dull story that thinks it can use various explosions to make it interesting   the specialist  is about as exciting as an episode of  dragnet   and about as well acted  even some attempts at film noir mood are destroyed by a sappy script  stupid and unlikable characters  and just plain nothingness  who knew a big explosion could be so boring and anticlimactic  unless you saw  blown away      the specliast  of the title is none other than action star sylvester stallone  in comeback 19  i think   who plays a quiet  hermitlike bomber who was once a bomb expert with the army or something  but who suffered a change of heart when he and his assistant  james woods  who shows us exactly what overthetop is  other than another bad sly film  accidentally killed some innocent people during a job  his credo is killing bad people  not innocents  and thats why he makes big bombs  so anyway  into his life steps the seductive sharon stone  who is basically the girlfriendmoll of the stupid son  eric roberts  of a cubanmiami kingpin  rod steiger  in an indecipherable accent  which is sometimes cuban  sometimes brando  sometimes scottish  etc   turns out sharon is actually using her boyfriend so she can kill him  since he killed her parents when she was young  so she calls sly  leaves messages with him  sends him email  etc  about planting a bomb to kill roberts  which sly listens to obsessively  and while he works out naked  yea  also into his life  though again  comes woods  who has been tipped off by stone to catch sly  using the cops  he tries to set up traps  none which really work  so when sly calls him  he goes ballisitic on his ass over the phone  getting so worked up by saying his mustbeimprovised speeches that he seems to pop the vein in his head wide open  these are the most exciting scenes in the film  and woods becomes the only ounce of entertainment in the film  the film tries to offer us a moody film noir  except with explosions  but comes up completely snakeeyes  its just a pretend film noir  making it a big waste of time  and for action buffs  the action scenes are pretty lame  with some really unrealisticlooking special effects  a penthouse being blown off of a hotel looks like a piece of cardboard falling into a tub   then theres the muchdiscussed sex scene between sly and stone  which are about as mispaired a couple as rachel and ross on  friends   their sex scene is more nauseating then sexy  because it shows us more of sly than stone  now lets guess who wed rather see naked  okay  stones small but perky breasts  which weve seen more times than harvey keitels dick  or stallones veiny ass  which isnt usually shown for a very good reason  i know i cant really judge it as a flaw of the film  but come on  the worst flaw of the film is this  its boring  i mean  i was on caffeine when watching it  but my friend fell asleep only to be woken up by james woods ranting  but a good movie does not james woods going nuts make  if youre in for some fun action  rent slys earlier  demolition man   which sucks too  but in a much more entertaining fashion  skip this dull film  unless you want to see woods  or make fun of steigers accent  or see stones breasts again  
neg	the skulls is a laughably bad thriller  a teenorientated doppelganger of the firm so blazingly ridiculous that it caused me to drift into a hypnotic stupor  certain moments are so preposterous that i nearly herniated myself in an attempt to stifle laughter  i chuckled incessantly  all the way home  let me share  the skulls is a secret society conceived inside the walls of yale  designed  im sure  to mirror the actual skull  bones from the same college   luke mcnamara  joshua jackson   a townie and local varsity rowing championship victor for the third consecutive year  highlights the latest skull scouting report  despite some anxiety and caution from others  luke accepts entry into the organization  soon after  he finds himself surrounded by beautiful women  driving a new car and marveling at the 20  000 that somehow surfaced in his bank account  yeah  dude  pretty good deal eh  but luke soon learns that the membership is somewhat suffocating  when circumstances become extreme  there is no way he can leave the society  except maybe as a drooling vegetable  the premise  although lacking in originality  certainly offers its share of potential intrigue and suspense  unfortunately  the skulls is neither intriguing  nor suspenseful  nor anything else you would associate with fresh or exciting  its just another abysmal teen prototype that has the soundtrack  the stars     but not the script  the skulls is so bad it attains a certain level of entertainment value  with the screenplay  by jon pogue  immediately becoming the basis for a slew of unintentional howlers  first off  upon their initiation into the skulls  each new member has to have a skull branded onto their arm  afterward they are supplied with a wristwatch that conveniently covers up the scar  will they never take this watch off  and what if they forget it by their bedside  perhaps their  secret society was being a little too conspicuous when they decided to brand new members like cattle on an area of the body that is easily exposed  on top of this  they are each given a rulebook and a key to headquarters  gee  why not member tshirts  but my favorite bit is this  the voting committee for the skulls does not bother with individual  agree or  disagree notions when making collective decisions  they are given official skull paddles  when flipped to one side  they indicate the member agrees with the proposal  facing the opposite way means a disagreement  wouldnt they merely express themselves verbally  hell no  they have to retrieve the paddles for a proper vote  and maybe afterward they can play pingpong  im still chuckling about these ludicrous details  but the humiliating dialogue is enough to send one into arrest  the cast  meanwhile  combines a pinch of veteran talent with a dash of the dawsons creek crowd  and fuses the two together  ensuring that the embarrassment will be a mutually shared union throughout  but not entirely  accomplished actors like craig t  nelson  as skulls chairman judge litten mandrake  and william peterson  as fellow board member senator levritt  are dealt pathetic villain caricatures  and look suitably embarrassed handling them  and then theres christopher mcdonald  who has the capacity to be a fun  exciting actor  mcdonalds charisma is totally diminished here as he sleepwalks through another perfunctory bad guy role  yes  pogue makes it a hattrick   i pray it was a snatchthepaycheckandrun exercise for all these actors  the young troupe of performers involved fair moderately better  lets cut the talented canadian lad joshua jackson some slack for maintaining believability within the confines of his character  paul walker  the strapping quarterback from varsity blues  is bland but passable as caleb mandrake  the judges son  walker preserves a straight face  even when dealt the silliest dialogue in the movie  dad  i just killed a guy in the ritual room     some actual spark is generated by leslie bibb  who plays lukes longtime chum chloe  and manages to successfully pull off some convincing dramatics  it really boils down to the actors attempting to puncture the surrounding plastic bubble of absurdity that cages them from minute one  or maybe not minute one  thanks to a decent setup from director rob cohen  who films early sequences with a sense of atmosphere and style  it makes you wonder why he didnt flee indefinitely from the project  because while enjoyable cheese like dragonheart and the moderate stallone thriller daylight arent superior cinema  they belong on the afi top 100 list when compared to this degrading trash  aside from unintentionally humoring the audience  the skulls gets little accomplished  the thrills and action are lazy and mechanical  the story is stuffed with ridiculous  formulaic plotting that sheepishly overlooks the cool potential of a secret underground society flick  instead of gaining knowledge about the skulls as an organization  we are thrust into a lame video surveillance conspiracy that has developed barnacles from excessive usage  weve seen it all before  and better  the skulls is a feeble little circus of stupidity  so miscalculated that  while it would serve as a clever pun  a term like  boneheaded seems just too generous  
neg	its difficult to expect much from a director whose greatest accomplishments to date are a handful of  awardwinning  tv commercials  as is the case with bubble boy director blair hayes  that said  hayess feature film debut lives up to expectations  coming off mainly as equal parts offensive and moronic  but occasionally  bubble boy transcends its substandard roots with glimmers of humor and scathing social commentary  those moments of intelligence are delivered mostly by the films two stars  jake gyllenhall as the immunodeficient jimmy and swoosie kurtz as his overprotective  hyper religious  reaganloving mother  gyllenhalls sweetnatured delivery of jimmys hilariously na  ve narration serves as the backbone for an otherwise flimsy comingofage story  jimmy is a bubble boy  a kid born without immunity who could die if he comes in contact with a single germ  a plight explored more seriously in the john travolta tv movie boy in the plastic bubble and less so on seinfeld  his mom homeschools jimmy  filling his head with wildly twisted conservative propaganda and antisexual messages  until hes befriended by chloe  marley shelton   the beautiful girl next door  jimmy falls in love with chloe  but is afraid that his love will literally kill him  as evidenced in a scene when she drunkenly tries to enter his bubble for a kiss  but when chloe decides to marry her high school boyfriend  jimmy builds a bubble suit and embarks on a hijinksaddled crosscountry voyage to stop the wedding by professing his love  the offensive bits have little to do with jimmys rare handicap  regardless of what the films protesters would have you believe   but instead center on outrageous racial stereotypes  including a screaming chinese strip club owner and a devout east indian hindi  but even if you find stereotype humor funny  its hard to muster more than a giggle for these shallow gags  they even manage to bungle some potentially great moments with a group of carnival freaks  but a few of the harsh jabs manage to work  especially in the case of kurtz  who very bluntly shows the dark  hypocritical side of the religious right  and a wacky sendup of a cult called  bright n shiny   led by the inimitable fabio  unfortunately  a few giggles cant make bubble boy the riotous  offthewall comedy it so desperately wants to be  honestly  its a mystery how on earth this movie was ever made  and im not just saying that because its so mediocre  how odd for disney to take a gamble on a film with an unknown director starring virtually unknown actors that doesnt seem to appeal to any particular demographic and has the potential to offend so many  and now that the studio is suffering through a very public protest against the film by the parents of reallife bubble boy david philip vetter  maybe disneys wondering the same thing  hope the opening box office take makes it worthwhile  
neg	bats is this years camp flick  with the worlds worst dialogue  cheesiest premise and stupidest editor  this one should be heaven for those who enjoy films humorous in their inanity  as for the rest of us  well    id say skip it  but looking at the box office figures for this one  it seems as though most of america is following that advice anyway  follow their lead and youll spare yourself 90 minutes of your life and 8 bucks to boot  i love alfred hitchcocks the birds  almost as much as i love the short story on which it is based  it saddens me even more  then  to see that american treasure ripped off so blatantly by wannabe horrorschlock such as bats  when mysterious bat attacks occur in a small texas town  the authorities call in a batologist  dina meyer  to investigate  it turns out that a creepy scientist  bob gunton  has genetically enhanced a couple bats that escaped from his lab  making them smarter and more vicious  why has he done this  you ask  because  you see  it is apparently a scientists job to make things  a little better   even if that means the death of all mankind  so the batologist  her wisecracking sidekick and the town sheriff  lou diamond phillips  have to kill all the bats and save the world  of course  that cant happen before they wallow in some guamo  bat shit  for the uninitiated   get up close and personal with some truly repulsive flying mammals and survive some of the dumbest situations ever seen in a professionally produced motion picture  consider  for example  a scene where two people are in a bat cave  the bats are all sleeping  but the humans are afraid they might wake up before they can get out  what do they do  do they get the hell out of there as fast as they can  nope  they stand there for a while  transfixed by the thousands of bats opening their eyes  what keeps bats from being scary or creepy is the hyperactive editing in most of the attack scenes  we dont even get to see whats going on  the screen becomes a mush because the cuts are so quick  all we know is that bats are attacking  how they are attacking and what exactly is happening remains a mystery  a little technical proficiency does wonders for horror movies  and bats sure could use some  of course  director louis morneau tries to liven things up with some intentional humor  but it is so conventional it doesnt really go anywhere  most of the ocmic relief comes courtesy of the batologists wisecracking sidekick  leon   who takes every opportunity to sputter ingenious lines like  i hate bats   some of these are so bad that they take on a double quality  they may inspire a smirk by their very nature and a roaring laugh because they are so inept  i hate characters who exist for the sole purpose of spouting lame oneliners  playing such characters does not help actors careers  still  i suppose that if youre looking for a movie that is  so bad its good   you could do worse than bats  it does have a tremendous amount of camp value  im not  recommending  the movie because  quite frankly  it sucks  and i know that this might convince some people to go out and see it  more power to them  
neg	starring shawnee smith  donovan leitch  ricky paull goldin  kevin dillon  billy beck the blob is the remake of the 1960s classic  a term that i use very loosely to define the original  about a really mean glob of goop that takes out anything that gets in its way  now the original version has the virtue of cheesy special effects which give it a kind of nostalgic campy feel  the fact that steve mcqueen was the star of the film doesnt exactly hurt it either  fast forward to the late 80s  steve mcqueen isnt in the remake  this might have something to do with the fact that he had been pushing up daisies for years   nor is there any hollywood heavy hitters in the lead role  that is unless you count matt dillons brother kevin as a hollywood heavy hitter  the other thing that works against this new blob is that special effects technology has improved dramatically since the original  the only things you need now to have great special effects in a movie are deep pockets  it looks as if the produces of the new blob had a couple of holes in their pockets  the special effects in this movie are cheesy  like the originals  unlike the original  they dont look campy  they just look cheap  one bright spot in the movie from a purely sexist point of view is shawnee smith  she is very attractive and can actually act  which is more than i can say about some of her costars  in terms of plot  a little ball of pink goop falls from the sky  seems this goop was an experiment that was being housed up on a satellite  anyway  the pink stuff has a taste for humans  the more people it absorbs  the bigger it gets  and it isnt the friendliest goop on the block either  anyway  it attacks this little town and its up to the attractive local teenage population to stop it  not really  but that is how it seems  this version attempts to recapture the camp of the original  as ive already said  this new version of the blob comes off more as cheap  badly acted  and badly written than campy  in the years since this film was made none of the cast have gone on to greatness  although  star shawnee smith had a very tiny role in armageddon  the reason that we have never heard of any of them again is quite simple  they all stunk out loud  although some of the films smaller roles are filled with some actors that  while not big stars  are doubtless people that you will recognize from their supporting roles in other movies and tv shows  it also appears that the producers of the blob tried to compensate for the lack of a special effects budget by making the scenes in which the blob makes meals of the townsfolk as gory as possible  sadly  it doesnt work very well  if you want to see a big ball of goop terrorize a town  then i would say that you should skip the remake and rent the original   although that isnt so hot either   this newest version is seriously lacking in any redeeming qualities  
neg	toward the bottom of the 80s action movie barrel lies action jackson  the only movie in hollywood history to show sharon stone and vanity topless within a span of ten minutes  this carl  apollo creed  weathers vehicle features the traditional cop vs  evil establishment crook  and relies on all the 80s trappings  from the token heroin addict who needs a fix to the shouting superior officer  somewhere in between come the explosions and boobs  although there is a curious lack of exploding boobs  weathers is action jackson  a detroit cop known for all sorts of crazy vigilante techniques  speaking of one past criminal apprehension  jacksons superior yells   you tore his arm off   jackson replies   he had a spare   jackson has been busted down to a desk job because of past problems with auto manufacturer dellaplane  craig t  nelson  and now has to act as department liaison to a dinner honoring nelson  after hearing what jackson thinks of him  stone says   i take it youre not one of dellaplanes friends    not unless they changed the definition   jackson glowers  and of course it turns out stone is mrs  dellaplane  faux pas  jackson    not everything is happy in motown  people are being killed and dellaplane has evil plans for the awa  its all up to jackson to stop it  and his only lead lies in vanity  not his own   wherever she left off with prince in terms of exchanging sexual favors for career advancement she picks up in action jackson  she plays the heroin addict and chanteuse in dellaplanes nightclub  after singing one particularly sultry number for him  she saunters over and complains   i expected a standing ovation   he responds   youre getting one   and its damn clever because hes sitting down at the time  prince wouldnt even let out an innuendo that lame and hes the king of the horndogs    or at least the prince  its a testament to the 80s that sharon stone is killed off within the first 30 minutes but vanity survives the whole movie  action jackson is another variation on the  unlikely partners  buddy action flick  with jackson lugging junkie vanity around  this leads to some of the worst paired acting of the me decade  and with the dialogue theyre given  theres not much room for improvement  my favorite is when vanity  feeling the effects of drug withdrawal  says   i feel like my teeth are hollow  my gums are made of dry rubber and someones trying to start a bonfire in the back of my bloody head   jacksons response is   i think i felt that way once  they called it love   youll understand when i say watch this at your own risk  serving the world for nearly 125th of a century  
neg	if anyone had been able in 1983 to forsee a latenight cable show hosted by gilbert gottfried showcasing some of the worst films of the 80s  theyd agree d  c  cab is the quintessential  usa up all nite  movie  its one of those childish rrated movies that kids would love but cant see until its edited for tv  its also one of those pointless  almost plotless movies with hardly any laughs  and  strike three  it pairs mr  t with gary busey  i heard gilbert say d  c  cab had  an allstar cast   but im still hoping there was some degree of facetiousness in that statement  when thirdbilling goes to a twominute appearance by famed flashdancer irene cara  as herself   you cant say a damn thing about allstar casts  likewise for token appearances by marsha  roz  warfield  paul rodriguez and  politically incorrect  host bill maher  before he was somebody  appearing in d  c  cab pretty much had the opposite effect on everyone else  especially irene  im gonna live forever  cara  d  c  cab is an ensemble comedy from joel schumacher  who would go on to direct batman forever  about a bunch of misfits who drive cabs  you get the feeling if the police academy cadets had made a different career choice  this would be the result  except here you have such interesting characters as the  token white guy   busey  who wants to get in tight with the blacks now before they take over the world  the token jive talker named tyrone  charlie barnett  who wears his hair in rollers and uses the word  honkey  as much as possible  the tough guy with the mohawk and gold chains  mr  t  a real stretch for him   the aspiring musician waiting for his big break  maher   the mexican gigolo  rodriguez   the woman who actually wants to drive cabs for a living  warfield  and the guy who wants to own a cab company for a living  adam baldwin   weve all seen dozens of bad comedies from the 80s  some are fun to watch and some are actually funny  this one is more or less neither  youd think plenty of comedic sparks would fly from the assemblage of talent  whatever   but d  c  cab more or less falls flat on a continual basis  culminating in the usual contrived hollywood finale as baldwin is kidnapped and the other cabbies have to go to rescue him  its a shame no one was able to rescue this movie from the depths of stale jokes and unoriginality  d  c  cab has rightly earned its position on  usa up all nite   
neg	written by alex cox  tod davies  terry gilliam and tony grisoni directed by terry gilliam ive always preferred mushrooms to blotter acid  dropping acid is like riding a roller coaster blindfolded  you have no idea where the peaks and valleys are  no idea when the next terrifying decent will send your stomach into your throat  and no idea how long the ride will last  then theres the hard knot in your gut and the clenched teeth that come with ingesting a strychninelaced dose  mushrooms  on the other hand  offer the psychedelic equivalent of a leisurely ride on a ferris wheel  a steady  reassuring assent  a short period of thrilling motion and color  and then a smooth landing  acid is for daredevils  mushrooms are for refined seekers of joy  my point is that in fear and loathing in las vegas  director terry gilliam has made an acid movie  when i wish he would have made a mushroom movie  full of shocking sight gags  aggressive images and grotesque comic performances  the film certainly offers something for those fans of hunter s  thompsons book who want to experience its twisted pharmacological worldview from the inside out  but for those of us who just want to enjoy a wellmade film  gilliam has produced a mixed bag  fear and loathing tells the ostensibly true story of how selfprofessed  gonzo  journalist hunter s  thompson  johnny depp  and hispanic activist attorney oscar zeta actosta  benicio del toro   came to las vegas to cover a motorcycle race and found themselves trapped in the middle of a district attorneys convention while ingesting every conceivable drug available to a man of means in 1971  operating under the pseudonyms of  raoul duke  and  dr  gonzo   the two men careen into vegas on an acid and mescaline bender  then hole up in a hotel suite to binge on amyl nitrite  cocaine  tequila and a rainbow of multicolored uppers and downers  they terrorize every one they meet  mostly because every one they meet terrifies them  duke hallucinates giant bats on the way into town  then is attacked by horrifying lizards in the casino lounge  dr  gonzo becomes enamored of a thickbladed hunting knife and begs duke to throw the tape player into the bathtub with him just as jefferson airplanes  white rabbit  reaches its climax  and these guys dont just trash hotel rooms  they rape them  humiliate them and leave them for dead  that neither of them ends up dead or in jail is testament to blind luck or providence  depending on your point of view  thompsons book  besides being a hilarious read  has stood the test of time as an important historical document  it simultaneously exposed the 60s drug culture for the sham that it was and exposed las vegas as the place where the american dream came to die  pontificate all you want about how the film illustrates thompsons message  but the truth is that  stripped to its bare essentials  what gilliam has wrought is a drug comedy  its a cheech and chong movie  youre there to watch depp and del toro ingest a lot of chemicals and then laugh at the results  see johnny take drugs  see johnny fall down  theres nothing wrong with this concept  but gilliam tries too hard  this is a frantic movie  all sweaty closeups  wideangle lenses  dutch tilts and otherworldly lighting schemes  there are times when gilliam really does put a convincing representation of an acid trip on the screen  but to what end  much of the dialogue comes verbatim from thompsons book  and there are some priceless comic observations  but youre hard pressed to hear or digest them amidst all the jumbled camera work  this brings us to the performances  which strike me as all wrong  depp plays thompson as groucho marks filtered through george c  scott in patton  a gimmicky performance which works against the biting satire of thompsons dialogue  in between his several puking scenes  del toro fares better as dr  gonzo  but he also mumbles and sputters so many of his lines that their weight is lost  watching these two made me wish that the movie had been made twenty years ago  with dan akroyd and john belushi as the leads  now that would have been something to see  its interesting to note that alex cox  credited as a cowriter on the screenplay  was originally slated to direct before gilliam took over  as much of a fan as i am of gilliams work  cox would have been the better choice  sid and nancy  coxs best work  covered essentially the same subject matter  but cox was able to pull back and allow the characters of sid vicious and nancy spungen to carry the film  gilliam commits the compound sin of overdirecting his film while being uncertain of his purpose  what kind of movie was he trying to make  anyway  it doesnt try to be a cautionary tale  and it doesnt work as broad comedy  if he had considered more carefully his purpose  the result would have been a much more interesting film  but i dont want to be too hard on it  there are some truly funny moments  and if youre in a good enough mood you might get a kick out of it  i do  however  recommend watching fear and loathing in las vegas under the influence of your favorite controlled substance  i guarantee it will enhance the effect  
neg	the best thing about   lake placid  is that its only 80 minutes long and when its over youre glad that you didnt waste more than an hour and a half of your time  its nothing more than a bad ripoff of   jaws   and i think thats being kind   it was written by david e  kelly   ally mcbeal   as a horrorcomedy but fails at both  miserably  i was never scared and i think that i only laughed once  the crocodile even fails in comparison to the snake in   anaconda   the plot begins when a man is eaten in half by the giant crocodile in black lake in maine  that brings the local sheriff  brendan gleeson  and a fishandgame warden  bill pulman  to investigate  also  a paleontologist  bridget fonda  from new york is sent to look at a tooth and an eccentric millionairecrocodile lover  oliver platt  flies in because he wants to swim beside the beast  soon there is tension between everybody because half the people want to kill the croc and the other half want to save it  theres also an eccentric old lady  betty white  who lives by the lake and has a few secrets  as i mentioned before kelley and director steve minor  h20  dont go for a serious approach towards the material but they also dont have anything sly or satirical or witty to say either  the betty white character is completely unfunny and none of the other characters are really that interesting  theyre all basically idiots  if they had any brains the croc wouldnt have been that much of a challenge to catch and they wouldnt have put themselves in half of the situations that they did  but then again  if they were smart there wouldnt be a movie  basically   lake placid  is best undiscovered  
neg	that is  unless youre one of those people who have seen the preview a thousand times on tv or in the theaters  i can tell you one thing now  they gave the entire movie away  why someone would want to base an entire movie on one premise and then give that crucial detail away in the trailers is beyond me  however  if they  hadnt  given it away  the film wouldve still been suprisingly devoid of suspense given its subject matter  obviously  the producers thought they could remake  the deep end of the ocean   throw in tommy lee jones and a couple of cliches and call it an action drama   double jeopardy  offers solid acting from ashley judd and tommy lee jones  who got first billing even though he didnt see to be on screen half as much as judd did  it also offers some genuinely funny  clever  or fulloftension moments  my favorite  judd waking up in the coffin   but none of that can salvage the film from its insanely predictable plot  half the time im wondering whether im watching one of those overhyped tv miniseries  which always turn out to be less exciting than advertised  judging by the beginning  end  and a huge chunk of the middle  i might have been watching a special hallmark presentation too  the movies stretching for an almost two hour long film with only 30 minutes worth of material  implausible material  no less  loose interpretation of one of the amendments aside  too many times in the movie i thought   that is  not  possible    that kind of stuff is excusable in popcorn movies  but not one like  double jeopardy  that tries to pass itself off as serious drama  everything seems dragged out  overplayed  when they shouldve kept us in the dark  they let the cat out of the bag too early  
neg	i had an epiphany today  it occurred to me while i was watching  house on haunted hill   it is as follows  if a trailer makes the film its advertising look like a trashy  stupid movie  well guess what  chances are  there  is  truth in advertising  too bad i didnt trust my own instincts when somethingortheother possessed me to see this movie  i blame it on my sudden craving for a scare and my anticipation of  sleepy hollow   that and  dogma  started too late in the afternoon for my schedule  an hour of  angel  or  buffy  is scarier than this doozy that tries to be scary and shtick but falls flat on its face  i wish id seen it when it was halloween  at least i would have been forgiving  hey  tis the season  the movie was scary  albeit very confusing  dizzying  and nauseating  at first  but soon the horror got repetitive and downright laughable because the film obviously wasnt going anywhere  now i truly appreciate films like  scream    halloween   or any old hitchcock film where the scariness stems from situations that are at least somewhat realistic  thats what spooks people out  the fact that it could happen to them or someone they know  there has to be a logical precedent for the situations they want to scare us with  sure  utterly unpredictable is good  too  but thats different from utterly nonsensical  hohh  house on haunted hill   on the other hand    well lets just say i about fell off my chair laughing when they ohsocleverly revealed that everyone who got invited to the party was related to the psycho doctors who died in the house a couple of decades ago  riiiiight  yknow  that just sends chills down my spine  yeah  just like i wet my pants when they told me the house is evil  ooooooo  hint  blood and guts only work a few times  sooner or later people start to tell themselves that its just ketchup and props and youve got to come up with something better than that  there were just too many things in this movie that weve all seen before  from the inevitable  plot developments  of strangers unwittingly trapped together  strangers turning against each other  the evil manifesting itself  the dead coming back for a last scare  each was more predictable than the last  why didnt these fools just stay together in one place anyways  sheesh  was i grossed out  yes  did i get spooked a few times  yes  but why  i get really disturbed when there is no why  when there werent random scares that were there for no other reason than for the visual effect  which wasnt that good either  trust me  and the scare  the film was filled with drab  laughable dialogue  the characters were incredibly flat and cliched  not to mention downright annoying  youve got a bunch of people going nowhere in their lives  of course theyre dumb enough to go to a party some stranger invited them to provided they win a million dollars if they survive the night  jeez  i thought no one fell for those  you may already be a winner  things anymore  and of course  all three gals are babes  i wonder how on earth the geoffrey rush of  shine  ended up in this movie  keep that up  geoff  and youll qualify for the next batman venture  the only single person i enjoyed was chris kattan because  well  he just cracks me up  and famke jansen  sp   because she reminds me of the delectable brosnan  pierce brosnan  hey  i willingly endured  dantes peak  three times for him    all right  i concede  there were a couple of things i enjoyed  that perverted little amusement park at the beginning  i probably wont ride a rollercoaster for a while  and the machine they used to drive geoffreys character mad  see  i dont even remember their names   the machine  not that stupid fishtank with naked wimmin in it  i kept waiting and waiting for that inevitable twist at the end of the movie  it wouldnt have redeemed the film  but at least it would have made me feel better  but no  they opted for the beautiful sunrise ending  thank god they didnt add a kiss at the end or i would have puked  god  there is no hope  
neg	director andrew davis reworks his fugitive formula and the results are about as exciting as his last film the dreadful comedy steal big  steal little was funny  keanu  id rather play music than play another action hero  reeves is the grad student on the run  who  along with his superfluous sidekick  rachel weisz   has been framed for a sabotaged science experiment that vaporized eight chicago city blocks   the mushroomcloud explosion is a knockout and easily the best part of the movie  or  as one audience member succinctly summed it up   whoa    false information implicates their involvement and boy and girl are soon on the run  fleeing over open drawbridges  across icy lakes  and through the corridors of power at a topsecret  underground energy facility  aiding and abetting is the teams shady mentor  played in an excellentbutso what performance by morgan freeman   brit brian cox is also about  as the behindthescenes bad guy  he has some fun fiddling with a southern accent   unfunny  overscored  and without a single shred of suspense  chain reaction is  the  summer movie to walk out on  if you make it to the end  a mess of crosscutting involving another imminent explosion  youll hear somebody say  i guess its time to go   heed that warning  
neg	one of the most blatantly obvious signs that oftenacclaimed director sidney lumets  gloria   a remake of the 1980 john cassavetes film  had absolutely no effect on me occurred when i was driving home from the theatre  suddenly  i realized that since i had stood up from my theatre seat five minutes before  i had not thought once about the film i had just invested nearly two hours of my life in  when a movie is over  arent we supposed to think about it for a while  and have a conversation about it with the acquaintances we have just watched it with  i thought so  but  for one  i saw this particular picture by myself  and 2  even if i had been with someone there wouldnt have been anything to talk about in the first place  to be sure   gloria  begins with a stirring  rather poignant prologue in which a sevenyearold boys family is brutally gunned down by mobsters  in search of a disc his father had with incriminating evidence on it  right before the men broke in  of course  his father gave him the disc to escape with  eventually  the boy  named nicky nunez  jeanluke figueroa   is caught by the mobsters  and taken back to their apartment  meanwhile  gloria  sharon stone  has just gotten out of prison for a crime she didnt commit and returns to her exboyfriend  jeremy northam  to recieve the money he promised her for covering up his crime  when he refuses to give it to her  and then hears the group of men talking about killing nicky  she leaves with him in order to save his life  but not before holding the men at gunpoint  stealing all of their money  and forcing them to strip nude  gloria is the type of fasttalking  smartmouthed new yorker who always seems to get involved with the wrong people  and she never expected to be stuck with a kid  but she has a heart of gold  dont they always in this type of movie  and is only trying to protect the boy  whom she quickly begins to form a close bond with  the previous incarnation of  gloria  by cassavetes and starring the luminous gena rowlands  remains unseen by me  but was no doubt superior  even though i cant really imagine how this considerably dull story could be transformed into an entertaining one  regardless of the director or stars  there is no doubt in my mind that director lumet has stuck closely to the original  but the film itself is simply lifeless  with only an occasional laugh popping up here and there so that it isnt completely unbearable to watch  i liked  for example  a very funny climactic sequence where gloria is deciding whether to leave the school she has left the boy at  and keeps turning the car around  then driving a little ways  then slamming on the brakes and turning around again  these bright moments  however  appear long and far between  and the majority of the film deals with the budding relationship between nicky and gloria  which is both painfully predictable and bythenumbers  throughout  my mind was repeatedly asking the question   who really cares   as gloria  sharon stone has adopted an overthetop brooklyn accent that honestly doesnt sound realistic at all  in the beginning  in fact  i was amazed at how amateurish stones performance was  but as the film progressed she got better  although not one of her better turns  stone does have a comic flare that refuses to be ignored  jeanluke figeroa was fine as nicky and a little more natural than the usual child actors who are so precocious they make you want to gag  all other actors who appeared were considerably wasted  none more than cathy moriarty  an entertaining actress in her own right  who is billed fourth and has all of one scene  as glorias friend whom she turns to for help  sony  the studio that released  gloria   obviously does not have any faith in the film  and i dont blame them  they declined to screen the picture for critics  which is never a good sign  particularly with the highprofile people involved  although how much money a movie makes does not determine how good it is  just look at the spectacular  in dreams   which failed to even make the top 10 last week   i have a suspicion  gloria  is going to vanish from theaters faster than  ishtar   judging from the opening night 7  00 p  m  showing i saw it at  where there were about ten to fifteen people present  counting myself  although stone can be an impressive actress  just watch her in 1995s  casino  or 1996s  last dance  if you dont believe me  and sidney lumet can be a respectable director  there is no reasoning for why they thought the cliched story of  gloria  was worth remaking or  for that matter  why columbia pictures agreed to finance it when they could have been making a picture that actually looked like it might have an inkling of a chance to be successful  
neg	prereview note  seeing as the only concern of body shots is  sex   i will be forced to refer to that particular act innumerable times throughout the duration of this review  because of this  i will try to vary word descriptions of  sex   meaning if you are offended by pejorative terms  and  or your name is jerry falwell  you are kindly invited to hit the x up on the left corner of your screen   so if there happens to be a word you come across and cannot comprehend  fret not  its most likely just another way of referring to  sex   i think wed all agree that any word used incessantly becomes a bit monotonous so i hope you appreciate my attempt to liven up what could potentially be a very boring review  though not as boring as the movie which makes steve forbes flat tax plan seem as lively as watching a naked mathew mconaughy play the bongos while high on god knows what  body shots is a film so frightened of coitus that scenes of copulation are filmed ominously  in the way youd normally expect to see a violent attack  its about people who think about screwing  seek it out  and talk about it  these are things we all do  sometimes  the characters in this film spend every waking moment pondering the simplicities of sexual acts  their lives center around the next sexual encounter  but they seemed depressed  its as if fucking is all they have to look forward to after a busy workweek  at its core body shots is a message movie  the kind of thing i could picture really progressive church groups showing to middle schoolers in order to turn them off coition  michael cristoffer  who directed gia  another film that treated bumping uglies as if it where evil  is a moralist with nothing new to say  his characters dont communicate anything of interest to each other  so cristoffer gives them an opportunity to let out their inner thoughts by speaking directly into the camera  they voice simplistic platitudes like  i like to come  or  sex without love equals violence   huh  and yes that is as complex as this movies observations get  the characters are stupid and shallow  with not one registering as anything more  the plot concerns vapid over sexed twentysomethings on an all night hunt for carnal pleasure  then the after math  the morning after  of such events  we meet the characters as they speak directly to us  confiding in us with their idiotic ruminations on intimacy  i would normally go into the characters and the actors who play them  giving you the pros and cons  but for this film i cannot  im not trying to be clever or witty  but i honestly hardly remember anything that would set them apart from the others  with the exception of trent  played by ron livingston as a bargain basement patrick bateman   the rest fade into each other a patchwork of fake breasts  defined abs  pearly white teeth  and creamy  flawless skin  i vaguely recall brad rowe as the sensitive one  only because his character gets the worst lines   sex without love equals violence    in between all the confessionals  cristoffer films everything like a headache commercial  with blurry slo mos and dramatic head turning  the fact that this director at one point won a pulitzer prize completely baffles me  this film is made without one iota of intelligence or insight into the generation that its tag line claims to be defining  if body shots is meant to say that all twentysometyhings are idiotic and f   kobsessed  fine  i dont have any problem with a film that tries to persuade me to think a certain way  but cristoffer only gives us one side  additionally that one side isnt even entertaining  the characters indulge in buggery without an ounce of sexiness  or realism  one sexual encounter takes place outside a club on a chain link fence between the two most sensitive characters  they suddenly have vigorous intercourse with each other for no apparent reason  other than that they both happen to be standing next to each other    alas  if it could only be that easy    kidding of course   then  not only isnt it erotic  it isnt real  it doesnt feel like an authentic sexual encounter  every f   k scene in this film  and there are many  is treated in the same unsexy manner  body shots makes fornication dirtier than the most scummy porno film  it shows us none of the pleasure that should go along with it  and most of all  it fails to show us why its characters love making it so much if they seem to hate the act of actually doing it  the resulting search for nookie  and you can take that cookie     over one night leaves us with several tedious plot lines to follow  the main concern is much ado over a rape that may or may not have occurred  the film shows us two separate versions of the possible rape  one where it is consensual the other where it is not  and in both versions the young actress playing the possible victim gets her shirt torn off  this is a topic that could be interestingly explored if done intelligently  and if memory serves me i cant think of one film that has done so  and yes i saw the accused which may be one of the most overrated movies of the 80s next to wall street  unfortunately nobody gives us reason to care  not the writer  the director or the actors nearly all of whom seem to have wandered off the set of a noxious 90210 spin off  paul thomas anderson approached boogie nights in a manner similar to what cristoffer does here  though boogie nights succeeded  it was similarly moralistic  but it gave us two different viewpoints  it showed us how the lifestyle of porn enticed its characters  and it showed us the possible fallout of such a decision  the characters in boogie nights were as idiotic as the characters are here  but anderson seemed to care about them  he gave them heart  cristoffer gives them nothing but raging hormones  he preaches to us  by using his characters to preach to us  this is not the way to get any message across  why not just direct a public service announcement on the perils of hittin skins  cristofer kind of does that  though without an ounce of insight  and with a helping of leering exploitation  
neg	im guessing  and from the available evidence  its not a great guess  that burn hollywood burn began life as an insider satire of hollywood excess  stupidity  ego and powermongering  if so  the film that ended up on the screen ranks as one of the most spectacularly ironic unintentional jokes in film history  it has already been welldocumented that the original title  an alan smithee film  became a problem when miserable test screenings forced recuts against the will of director arthur hiller  prompting hiller himself to opt for the directors guildmandated pseudonym of alan smithee  that left a film satire in the hands of writer joe eszterhas  as humorless a hack as ever put finger to word processor  and you could just smell the disaster brewing  if youre unfortunate enough to sit through burn hollywood burn  youll still be smelling that disaster long after the lights come up  ostensibly  its a pseudodocumentary account of a director named alan smithee  eric idle  who loses control of a bigbudget action film called trio starring sylvester stallone  whoopi goldberg and jackie chan  all of whom appear as themselves   when the only recourse available to him is abandoning the project to be called  an alan smithee film   which  of course  it already is  smithee steals the negative of the film and threatens to destroy it  among the parties interviewed are the films producer james edmunds  ryan oneal  and studio boss jerry glover  richard jeni   who spend virtually the entire film narrating the story while painfully unfunny things go on around them  its bad enough that burn hollywood burn has  literally  not a single laugh for its entire  blissfully brief 84 minutes  what makes it even worse is eszterhas insistence upon telling every bad joke not once  but twice or even three times  michael ovitz references  showgirls references  oral sex references  whoopi goldbergted danson references  all show up multiple times with all the subtlety that is eszterhas stockintrade  the reduncancy even manages to turn actively offensive with some frequency  notably with the hilarious use of the word  feminist  as an identifying caption for every single female character in the film  by the time coolio and chuck d show up as black independent filmmakers the brothers brothers  cleverly identified as  bad a  and  badder a   among other unprintable things   you may be ready to walk out of the theater with your coat over your head to avoid being identified  those documentary captions  for all their leaden obviousness  allow the best insight into whats so hideously wrong with burn hollywood burn  not content to stick any hollywood type with only one jab from his rapier wit  eszterhas fills the screen with bullet points every time a new character appears  the producer is a  liar  who  slept in the white house   the media are  maggots  and  leeches  working for publications like  the new york slimes  and  newsleak   with the camera zooming in on the altered title to make sure you dont miss the joke   it doesnt even matter that eszterhas tags  penile implant  after his own name when he makes a cameo  because it seems like such a desperate attempt to feign selfdeprecation  this is a petulant schoolboys idea of satire  pictures of hollywood insiders to which eszterhas has taken a pen to draw little moustaches and black out the teeth  the last stomachchurning straw comes when burn hollywood burn closes with outtakes over the closing credits  the kind that show the audience how much fun everyone was having making the film that just sucked an hour and a half of your life away  perhaps it was just a final  desperate attempt by eszterhas to convince himself there was some purpose behind the film  or to convince everyone involved that a few blown lines warranted threatening to blow their whole career  pity everyone involved with this excessive  egodriven  satire  of excess and ego  its too bad that only directors can remove their names from noxious material like this  otherwise  you might have seen credits for burn hollywood burn overflowing with alan smithees  
neg	 meg ryan is irresistible in the comedy that celebrates sisterhood    screams the television ads for  hanging up   disastrously written by reallife sisters delia and nora ephron and sloppily directed by diane keaton  make me laugh again  not only is  hanging up  misadvertised  since the film wholeheartedly focuses on middle sister meg ryan and gives her two costars  lisa kudrow and diane keaton  little more than extended cameos  but they dont actually come together until the final ten to fifteen minutes  and we are supposed to believe their strong bond  and smile in the last scene when they rekindle their rocky relationship  despite them being apart for the majority of the running time  excuse me  again  while i almost bust a gut at that truly delusional notion  eve marks  meg ryan  is the middle mozzell sister  still living in the california town where she grew up  and with a husband  adam arkin  and preteen son  jesse james   her elderly  wisecracking father  lou  walter matthau  in his brightest performance in years  has just recently been put into the hospital  in the final stages of what i assume is alzheimers  even though the film never enlightens us on exactly what is wrong with him   while eves relationship with her mother  cloris leachman  is nearly nonexistent  since she ran out on lou and her children years ago  she has had her fair share of ups and downs with lou  who used to be an alcoholic  her older sister is georgia  diane keaton   an editor for the selftitled magazine   georgia   while maddy  lisa kudrow  is the youngest  a soap opera actress  interestingly  their professions are given  but we not once ever see them working at their jobs  or  for that matter  learn much of anything about them  maddy  georgia  and eve do not see each other much anymore  their adult lives gradually causing them to drift apart  but they do manage to consistently talk on the phone to one another  and they talk  and talk  and talk    in fact  the telephone is the major star of the film  even more so than ryan  as it appears in virtually every scene of this interminable 92minute catastrophe that feels like its three hours long  if you are able to get through the opening halfhour  in which phones ring so much you feel like jumping through the screen and taking a sledgehammer to them  you will surely survive the rest  the question is  who would want to subject themselves to this resolutely irritating  selfinvolved patontheback  how could a comedydrama that has the starpower of meg ryan  lisa kudrow  and diane keaton be so very bad in so many different ways  issues from the past involving the possible jealousy each has had for one of the others is fleetingly brought up  but the film isnt mature enough to deal with such a thing in a thoughtful manner  and since we learn next to nothing about their childhood  it is a lost cause that comes off as nothing more than an afterthought  also  it is expected that the viewer quickly catch on to the tricky dynamic that the three sisters have with one another  but no dynamic metamorphosizes  and when they do reunite in the finale  their whole consanguinity is reduced to a repulsively annoying threeminute scene in which they argue like little children  you can see the impending death coming a mile away  and it conveniently occurs in the next scene  so that the three can quickly come to terms with themselves  and with each other  you think to yourself   the only thing left for them to do is have a playful foodfight   and like clockwork  it also occurs by the end credits  meg ryan is a versatile actress  look no further than 1998s  hurlyburly  or 1994s  when a man loves a woman    despite her various detractors who stubbornly believe all she can do is romantic comedies  with  hanging up   the only thing she needs to do is completely sever her filmmaking ties with nora ephron  a writerdirectorhack who shouldnt be allowed to work in hollywood again after this bigbudget  highprofile debacle  even if she knew what she was making was not exactly up to par in the quality department  she nonetheless is very good  and the two scenes that work  flashbacks to christmas 1988  when she had a heartbreaking runin with her mother  and to halloween 1993  when lou crashed her sons birthday party in a drunken stupor  are effective because of the realism ryan brings to the situations  diane keaton  as georgia  is better as an actress than a director here  but that is a wildly feeble compliment  what is more than a little farfetched is that keaton is distinctly older than ryan and kudrow  although in the very brief glimpses we get at them as children  she is no more than five years ryans senior  yeah  right  lastly  poor lisa kudrow has been wasted once again in a bigscreen venture  after her even more thin role in 1999s  analyze this   kudrow isnt given enough time to create a full personality with maddy  so it isnt her fault she doesnt register until a few quiet moments sprinkled throughout where she is actually blessed with being given dialogue  if anything  though  kudrow is a real talent  and i anxiously await the next time she is given a role more deserving of her time  as in her brilliantly nuanced  oscarcaliber work in 1998s  the opposite of sex   if you are a fan of kudrows  and who isnt    do yourself a favor and rent this gem that puts more good use to kudrow in sixty seconds than  hanging up  does in its entirety  as eves hardworking husband  adam arkin is  predictably  squandered with a role that gives him next to nothing to do  until a subplot reveals itself midway through  only to never be mentioned again  cloris leachman  as with ryan and matthau  makes a small  but noticeable impression with her  albeit  very brief appearance  while edie mcclurg  as a rosycheeked woman lou had an affair with in the christmas 1988 flashback  manages one of the few laughs in this otherwise joyless production  nearly all the emotions displayed within  hanging up  are patently manufactured  and despite the movie wanting the viewer to care about the characters  aside from eve  why would you want to when they are all spoiled brats  if  for some bizarre   twilight zone  type of reason  you find yourself in a movie theater showing this film  my suggestion would be to hang up on it before the opening credits are over  saying it is a waste of time is an understatement of epic proportions  
neg	under any other circumstances  i would not be discussing the ending of a film to the extent that i will in this particular review  however  in order to fully explain exactly how and why this movie is so awful  a minute dissection of the ending is necessary  even though i will not reveal the details of the last scenes  do proceed at your own risk  the movie opens  quite poorly  i might add  as child psychologist malcolm crowe  bruce willis  looking like he was dragged out of his trailer at the wee hours of the morning to shoot each scene  and his wife are intruded upon by one of malcolms past patients  distraught  the suicidal man  a cameo by new kid on the block donnie wahlberg  shoots malcolm and then turns the gun on himself  cut to the  next fall   as we find the good doctor quietly observing his latest case  a trouble young man named cole  haley joel osment  one of the only child actors in a while i didnt want to bludgeoned over the head with a blunt instrument   after about 45 minutes of seemingly unrelated freak occurrences  we learn that cole has  the sixth sense   the gift of being able to communicate with the dead  and this  as they say  is where the healing begins  the sixth sense and its unexpected popularity is founded upon a twist ending that i knew going into the film  one of roger eberts colleges was kind enough to give it away on a recent segment of  siskel and ebert    although i was at first enraged that an established film critic could so callously ruin a film for thousands of patrons  i soon realized that this turn of events could in fact have been a blessing in disguise  ive always been a sucker for surprise endings  my favorite movie is the usual suspects  and rarely dislike a film that sports one  here  since i knew the major plot twist that was coming at the films conclusion  the possibly of being bamboozled into loving a bad movie solely because of its ending  something ive fallen victim to in the past  was eliminated  and indeed  my viewing of the sixth sense did prove to be quite an enlightening experiment  stripped of the element of surprise  the film was put to the task of showing what it really had  instead of simply hiding behind a shocking conclusion  after seeing its true colors  i came to the conclusion that the sixth sense is  despite what the many champions of the movie may say  void of any real power  its a neat concept  but not one that justifies being made into a featurelength movie  in fact  the sixth sense relies so strongly on its finale that the rest of the film develops as a sort of prelude to the supposedly earthshattering revelation that is yet to come  and when the final moments do come  its a huge letdown  the end makes no sense at all  it stupefied me with the heights of its ineptitude and is completely idiotic on a fundamental and very rare level  i wont go into any details  but suffice to say that  as far as i can tell  it negates to rest of the movie to such an extent that anyone who buys it even for a second must be suffering from a very acute case of attention deficit disorder  now  in all fairness  i cannot say for sure that i would have guessed the ending  however stupid it may be  had it not been revealed to me before hand  however  i feel very confident that i  as well as anyone who had seen a few  twilight zone  episodes  would have seen it coming a mile away  the fact that moviegoers nation wide are surprised by the ending still has me stumped  ironically  to fully appreciate the best scene  that of cole and malcolm attending a little girls funeral   the viewer is required to be aware of a very rare psychological disorder called munchausen syndrome by proxy  i wouldnt have even known about this mental disease if i hadnt  by pure dumb luck  caught  dateline nbc  the other week when they did a feature story on it  despite being blessed with some really amazing cinematography and a brauva performance from osment  where was this kid when casting calls were going out for the phantom menace    in the end  the sixth sense is too chalkfull of contradictions and just isnt plausible enough to warrant even a slight recommendation  
neg	brian de palmas snake eyes stars nicolas cages evil twin  who confusingly uses the same stage name as his talented brother  like a foreign tourist who screams his lines in english to ensure that he will be understood  cage yells with the ferocity of a man with a bad case of caffeine overload  de palma  whose last great film  the untouchables  was crafted over a decade ago seems to have lost his magic  in snake eyes  he manages to elicit some of the worst performances possible out of a skilled cast  only gary sinise rises slightly above the hackneyed material  the rest of the actors become caricatures in this bythenumbers thriller  ryuichi sakamotos atmospheric and melodramatic music dominates almost every scene  heavy on the long violin notes  its rhythm is punctuated by thunder   the script by de palma and lost worlds david koepp sets the action during a hurricane in an attempt to pump up the adrenaline level and the noise  only the latter is achieved   cage plays rick santoro  a corrupt atlantic city cop who shakes down criminals to get betting money  the movie takes place over a single evening when a world championship fight is being held  with a flashy  bad wardrobe and a gold cell phone  rick is an obnoxious cop who doesnt know when to shut up  spouting cliched and ridiculous dialog  he screams such lines as   i was made for the sewer  baby   actually the line is more apropos for the movie as a whole  sinise plays kevin dunne  a naval officer who is in charge of the security for the secretary of the navy  who has come to watch the fight  but most people in the film are not who they seem to be  and the thin script makes all of them easy to guess  the plot  which is told in endless flashbacks  concerns the assassination of the secretary through a scheme set up by some malevolent businessmen  that adjective is  of course  redundant in hollywood thrillers  the flashbacks become repetitious with the same scene shown again and again  sometimes from a different perspective and sometimes not  although a brian de palma film requires a certain amount of gratuitous violence  this one is remarkably tame for the man who became famous when he made carrie  the movies outline has some promise  but the movie itself is leaden  the film takes itself all too seriously  at best  it is a 1940sstyle b movie  a little humor would have helped the script some  but a complete rewrite would have been better  and  although i hate to say it  a different director would have been the biggest improvement  snake eyes runs 1  39  it is rated r for violence and would be acceptable for teenagers  
neg	a disappointing biography about the homosexual relationship of two famous 19th century french poets  the film managed to remove all the poetry from the poets and instead concentrated on their abrasive personalities  the result is merely an academic exercise  leaving an emotional vacuum that it couldnt build on to show them as the poets they were  on paper  this shouldnt have been so terrible  it had a talented director in agnieszka holland   the secret garden    a proven screenwriter in christopher hampton  dangerous liaisons   and a capable cast  but the film was done in by its inept script  the unappealing way the film was directed  and the miscasting of leonardo dicaprio as rimbaud  i found his performance to be the most risible one in the film  with him acting more like a teenage brat than a young genius  spouting obsenities without giving a hint that a true poet lies behind that facade  he  especially  looked bad because david thewlis as paul verlaine looked so good despite the turgid dialogue that was thrust upon him and how thin a character he was forced to be  but when the two of them were together  it looked like a mismatch  leonardos rimbaud only made the young poet look petulant and crude  yet we know from rimbauds poetry  that he must have had something going for him because his poetry was awe inspiring  the film opens in postrevolutionary france in 1871  the 16yearold rimbaud has sent the established symbolist poet verlaine a letter with his poems  he accepts verlaines praises and invitation to be a house guest in his splendid paris home  and rimbaud leaves his sullen farm in rural charleville  once there  rimbaud is disappointed in the bourgeoisie household  has an immediate conflict with verlaines busty 18yearold wife mathilde  romane   and finds to his regret that the drunken verlaine loves his rich wife for her body and that he lives off her familys money  even though he has nothing else in common with her  when verlaine states   poets can learn from one another   rimbaud replies in a haughty tone   only if theyre bad poets   he will continue to treat the older poet like dirt for the rest of their relationship  verlaine proves to be weakwilled  beating his wife regularly  and plays just as despicable a character as rimbaud  when mathildes father kicks rimbaud out of the house  verlaine finds him in a rooming house and the two become lovers  its a real downer to watch this story unfold into a series of obnoxious behavior patterns on the part of the two poets  which leads them to traveling together and mathilde asking for a divorce  in brussels  verlaine gets arrested for sodomy and spends two years in jail  while rimbaud becomes angered at the literary world and never writes another poem after he becomes 19  he instead goes to north africa and becomes an adventurer and a gunrunner  and after ten years there  comes home with a tumor on his knee and dies a changed man at the age of 37  the hopeless relationship between the two is what the picture covers in detail and that was not very satisfying  the film ends on a whimper    with verlaine talking with rimbauds sister about her brother and the poems of his he still possesses  which the sister wants destroyed so as not to embarrass the family or ruin the name of her deceased brother if published  this film was especially annoying because rimbauds poems are filled with a visionary tenseness that are not even approached in this film  as the film only manages to skim the surface of the lives of these poets and completely ignores the value of their poetry  i have no idea what the filmmaker was trying to say in this film  but whatever it was  it just didnt work  it certainly didnt bring any light into understanding what rimbaud meant to modern poetry and why he earned the reputation as the socalled father of modern poetry  
neg	in our time  in our modern world  where the cool rule  its hard to imagine that shakespeare is becoming the man  and yet  film after film  after film  is based on his everlasting magic  in warner brothers latest production  shakespeare is kicking ass to a rap beat  while his magic and intelligence slowly fades away  though the producers of the matrix have vaguely based their picture on william shakespeares romeo and juliet  its title sequence with a frightening rap song and a black limo making its way through the dark streets of new york  is very hard to associate with shakespeares poetry  the film takes place during a silent war between the two major mafia families in the city  the afro americans against the chinese  the youngest son of a chinese mafia chieftain is found murdered  the afroamericans are immediately suspected  but a peace treaty is signed between the two godfathers  it is at this point that han  the romeo of the story  finds out about his brothers death  escaping from a prison in china  he returns to united states to avenge his brothers fate  but before he can restore justice with his kung fu kicks  he falls in love with a mysterious beauty  the only problem is that she is the daughter of his enemy   theres only a weak echo of shakespeares talent in this disappointing production  and there are more problems besides its title  of course we dont call it a deformation of a great masterpiece  we call it modernization  it seems that the producers fear that the audience will not respond to lyrics  without any car chases and gun fights  this lack of respect for the audience i find very disturbing  kenneth brannagh has already proven that shakespeare doesnt need to be updated  because his tales are grounded in the basics of life and human nature  and as long as love  hate  honesty and corruption do exist  everyone will understand and embrace shakespeare  i must admit that i found rome must die very confusing  i can forgive andrzej bartkowiak  since it is his first attempt at directing  he manages to create an incredible atmosphere and directs with a firm precision  unfortunately he completely forgot about character and story developments  his latest picture is therefore visually impressive  but intellectually hollow  the love story between han  jet li  and trish  aalyah   and the mafia intrigues are undeveloped and simplified  jet li is one of the most amazing fighters to ever hit the silver screen and aalyah has a magical voice  their achievement save this film from being completely braindead  but they are not actors  and therefore can not act  they are nothing more than two celebrities put together  the other actors  including isaiah washington  russell wong  henry o and dmx all give the standard mediocre performances  delroy lindo is the only one that projects a coherent image of reality  but theres more than acting to worry about  even with lis incredible skills in martial arts  the action scenes  though technically excellent  are too long and story updates simply embarrassing  to make a long story short  romeo must die is not intelligent enough to be a thriller  not sensual enough to be a love story and too serious to be a fun action film  it is certain that bartkowiak would be much better off with o this embarrassing and completely unnecessary parallel to romeo and juliet  so the film is completely stuck  not sure of what to be  and in the end its nothing  there are no performances worthy of notice  no interesting character or story surprises  so again  the only good thing about it is its technical achievement  this film can boast of great sound  fast paced editing  solid cinematography and some very well coordinated action sequences  the music is another factor that prevents you from leaving the theatre  it is mostly provided by aalyahs enchanting voice and several carefully inserted rap songs by various artists  that create a kind of ghetto feel to it  but when i think back  its not much i remember from this production  as in almost every summer movie  there are some interesting scenes  but most of the moments that i remember are associated with massive special effects  it is not a film that will get any attention for its artistic qualities  simply because it doesnt have any  for someone who has never read shakespeare  its another popcorn film  for those of us who has  its a waste of money  time and brain cells  
neg	isnt it the ultimate sign of a movies cinematic ineptitude when you cant think of much to say about it other than  it sucks   one of the first official year 2000 releases  supernova is such a movie  i cant seem to get past oneword adjectives with this one  although  boring    stupid  and  absurd  doesnt amount to much of a review  a shame  i would have been able to save myself the chore of desperately trying to elaborate  but cest la vie  here goes nothing  ill keep it short  i suppose the first bad omen for supernova came when director walter hill  48 hours  removed his name from the movie  requesting that it be replaced with the pseudonym thomas lee  the films fate was sealed in many minds when struggling studio mgm declined to screen it for the press  an event usually signifying a studios lack of confidence in a particular movie  hills and mgms actions were prudent  when the captain of medical space vessel nightingale dies in a tragic hyperjump accident  a reformed drug addict who is also the first officer  for some reason  james spader  is forced to take command  the ship picks up a distress call from a nearby planet and  on arrival  picks up one survivor from an apparent accident in an abandoned mining colony  one of the crew members  angela bassett  knows this passenger  who is played by peter facinelli  and has some bad feelings about it  and we all know what that means  this intergalactic hitchhiker is carrying some mysterious cargo  a jellylike substance the purpose of which is unknown  though it seems to bring some form of pleasure to whoever touches it  another one of the crew members experiences this first hand  after spending a few minutes partially inside this glob of goo  he does some impressive handstand pushups  evidently  touching this enigmatic eggshaped thingie makes you younger and stronger  how  why  the movie never bothers to explain  soon enough though  spader and bassett are running around the ship like mad  being chased by the allofasuddensuperhuman facinelli  to be honest  i dont even remember exactly why  i just remember that i didnt care  supernovas plot suggested some more or less interesting ideas  such as the ball of goo being an intergalactic time bomb  but they are all dropped before they have a chance to develop into anything truly intriguing  in fact  everything is dropped just so the actors can have some fun running around what looks like an elaborate set  well  the effects are good  though theres hardly a studio movie with bad special effects these days so im not sure whether thats so remarkable an accomplishment  the performances are hardly worth talking about  im not even sure i can call whats here  performances   though angela bassett sure is good at giving people the finger  james spader is not a bad actor  but he proves to be one of the blandest action stars ive seen in a while  mostly because he isnt given a character with a personality  the action scenes are just as bland  since theyre pretty much just rehashes of action elements that werent particularly entertaining the first time around  and since the action scenes are everything to this movie  its pretty much dead in the water  and for the life of me  i cant figure out why its called supernova  
neg	 idle hands  is distasteful  crass and derivative  if an original thought found its way into this horrorcomedy it would die of loneliness  plus  you have to question the judgment and sensitivity of studio executives who would green light the release of a movie dealing with the slaughter of innocent teenagers the week after the tragedy in littleton  colo  the movie is insulting to horror film fans and teenagers  the plot  what little there is  deals with anton  devon sawa   a highschool slacker whos hand goes on a murderous rampage after becoming possessed  along the way the hand kills antons parents and his two best friends  the friends  also slackers  are so lazy that they return from the dead because the walk into the light was too far for them  that is the level of thiss atrocitys humor  the movie treats death as a joke   idle hands  is gruesome and morbid  the performances are stereotypical and cartoonish  i realize this is supposed to pass for comedy  but recent events have surpassed what is on the screen  it is not the fault of the filmmakers that real life has overtaken reel life  and i can only presume that the writers of  idle hands   terri hughes and ron milbauer  were trying to make some statement about todays young people and their values in a satiric vein  however  its hard to laugh at death these days  especially ones involving young people  with the real horrors of the world put before us on television  a stale pastry such as  idle hands  should be held from release for a few weeks or months to give us time to catch our collective breaths   idle hands  is bad  no matter the circumstances in the world outside  but the context of recent events only heightens its shortcomings  the time is not right for this type of movie  and as far as  idle hands  goes  the time may never be right  this is a movie that shoud be consigned to the trash bin of cinema  
neg	a movie about divorce and custody in 1995 seems about as timely as a movie about mood rings  family breakups have been an all too familiar part of the american landscape for nearly thirty years  and countless dramas have told stories of acrimonious court battles in handwringing detail  still  i cant recall a comedy about the subject before bye bye love  and after it  i still cant  bye bye love is rarely funny  more often a weak and melodramatic retread of common tvmovie fare  only a few moments which have nothing to do with the films main premise offer big laughs instead of cliched emotion  bye bye love follows one weekend in the lives of three divorced fathers who get weekend custody of their children  dave  matthew modine   a father of two  is an inveterate womanizer having difficulty staying faithful to his latest girlfriend  vic  randy quaid  is a foulhumored father of three about to go on a rare date  donny  paul reiser  pines for his exwife and has trouble relating to his teenage daughter emma  eliza dushku   over the course of the weekend  the three men face various crises  including vics blind date from hell  janeane garofolo  and donnys growing estrangement from emma  the three lead actors form a rather unlikely combo  and the quality of their performances is of widely varying quality  randy quaid is the best of the three  bitter without being irritating  gleefully spiteful without being frightening  his runins with is exwife  lindsey crouse  are a bit overplayed  though  and his confrontation with a pompous radio psychologist  rob reiner  is gimmicky and implausible  he does get bye bye loves best subplot  a hilarious dinner date with a gloriously demented janeane garofolo  and he does a great slow burn  paul reiser really has only one character  his slightly befuddled  uptight nice guy  mad about you  persona  but he does it well  as a personality  he is appealing  but as a character  he becomes pretty boring here  matthew modine  is  quite simply  terrible  this isnt a performance good enough to be called mailedin  he even forgot to put a stamp on it  modine lacks any charm in an appallingly underwritten role  looks bored most of the time  and gets stuck with a trite little speech about how its all his fathers fault hes such a cad  carolcos executives  whose entire future is resting on modines bankability for the upcoming cutthroat island  must be sweating buckets right now  bye bye love basically comes off as a very confused movie  because it spends far too much of its time on the new relationships of its main characters instead of on the relationships between the fathers and their kids  making it just another  dating in the 90s  movie  when the movie does deal with the children at all  it is to have one of them scream out an accusation andor cry  perhaps to be resolved later by a sensitive talk and a hug  perhaps not  even more confusing is a subplot featuring the late ed flanders as a widower who goes to work and a mcdonalds and befriends a troubled youth  it is a sad end to flanders career  getting caught up in a truly annoying overuse of mcdonalds as a location  a plot device and  apparently  a major advertiser  even if bye bye love had decided to spend its time focusing exclusively on the parentchild relationships  it still would have been pretty difficult to pull off  because ultimately there is very little humor one can wring from family breakups and their effects on children  any way you slice it  it is a bad situation for kids  and the makers of bye bye love mostly go for the heartstrings when dealing with the single parenting issue  it is left to the dads romantic fumblings to probide what little humor there is  and it isnt enough  there have been comparisons between bye bye love and parenthood  but parenthood was both genuinely funny and genuinely touching  bye bye love is a genuine shame  
neg	according to the publicity material  with this movie the directors  hope to restore good oldfashioned bowling to its rightful place in the mainstream of american consciousness   hmm  you never know  they just might be on to something  what with the rise of geek chic  lounge music and seventies fashion  the evercontrary kids of the nineties might just latch on to bowling as another terminally unhip bastion of tackyana to claim as their own  but then  i doubt if kingpin will have anything to do with it  its cheesy all right  but connoisseurs of bad taste will find this film exudes that bland smell of stale jokes rather than the invigorating stink of true kitsch  thats a shame  because  in the first ten minutes or so the film promises to be a lot more  woody harrelson plays the hotshot bowler on the rise  roy munson  the movie opens in the fifties with roys dad dishing out the readers digestgumpian wisdom in scoopfuls  shifting to the 70s for a hilarious spoof of saturday night fever  the sardonic tone of the proceedings is much enhanced by the presence of bill murray  as the delectably slimy big ern mcracken  its thanks to murray that the first quarter of kingpin seems so good  he gives the wry  derisive edge to this otherwise rather unfocused comedy  mccracken dupes munson into a hustling job  then abandons him to an angry mob who mangle roys hand  then its fast forward 17 years later when munson is a fat  balding loser with a prosthetic rubber hand  hes hopeless until he meets ishmael  randy quaid   an amish amateur bowler that munson takes on as protege  so together they set out for the million dollar bowling tournament in reno  picking up pretty hustler claudia  vanessa angel  on the way  with the exit of bill murray  the filmmakers seem to have only one direction to go  and thats    dumb and dumber  yes  indeed  kingpin is brought to you by those modern proponents of laxative humour  peter and bobby farrelly  the directors of the aforementioned jim carrey vehicle  so  prepare for much slaparound comedy with flying rubber hands  distended nipples  ridiculous hair and bull semen  get set for stock fishoutofwater situations when cityboy roy puts on a beard and tries to blend in with the amish community  or when suaku straitlaced ishmael takes on smoking  striptease and unchristian neighboursocking  now  dont get me wrong  theres nothing wrong with cheap humour  and i had my fair share of lavatorial laughs with woody and randy  the trouble is that these jokes arent bold or funny enough to drive a movie that bumbles along without much sense of direction  it lurches from sports movie to amishmocking to roadtrip to sentimental melodrama   pausing for a broadside spoof of indecent proposal  and many shameless plugs for the accompanying pop soundtrack   never quite getting it all together  some gags fall flat from a lack of buildup  while there are bits and pieces in the movie that simply dont do anything  why the long  unfunny fight in the car park  why two of these  why does that guy wear mascara  or that guy have a glass bowling ball with a rose in it  the film is full of these halfthoughtthrough ideas that give the impression of any old gaffer  grip or makeup artist throwing in random stuff and saying   wouldnt that be funny    well  no  actually  the actors dont do the movie much favours either  woody harrelson comes off okay  plausibly acting dumb  smart  cynical or innocent when the implausible script calls for it  but randy quaid is a ceaseless ham  and vanessa angel has no talent  like schwarzenegger  she seems more convincing playing a computercreation than a human  take the tv series weird science    please   even murray hams it up when he reappears in the movies climax  all in all  a fairly useless attempt at comedy  and a certified nohoper at kickstarting the bowling renaissance  well have to look to a reinspired john waters  or perhaps somebody from down under   strictly bowling   anyone   for the definitive bowling comedy  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	starring kiefer sutherland  reese witherspoon  bokeem woodbine i used to think that the conversation was the worse film i had ever seen  freeway is giving me second thoughts  freeway is a modern retelling of little red riding hood  only in the nineties  little red riding hood is a foulmouthed juvenile delinquent played by reese witherspoon  and the big bad wolf is a serial killer  keifer sutherland   to top that pathetic premise off  reese goes to visit granny and youll never guess whos waiting under the covers in grannys bed  keifer sutherland is one of hollywoods most talented  yet underrated actors  and reese witherspoon is exceptionally talented and will most likely become a major star  so what are they doing in this movie  after seeing the end result  undoubtedly they are both asking themselves the same question  you might be asking yourself why this is such a short review  the answer is quite simple  i dont want to waste any more of my time writing or thinking about this movie than absolutely necessary  i wasted enough of my time just sitting through it  note to keifer  you wonder why you arent a bigger star in hollywood  because you keep making movies like this  note to reese  you were great in fear  what happened this time  note to both  dont worry about it too much  no one saw this movie anyway  bottom line  im still shaking my head  dont waste your time on this turkey  if you want to see a great keifer sutherland movie  go rent flatliners or young guns  reese witherspoons abundant acting talents are used to their full potential in fear  a great thriller  do yourself a favor and rent one of these movies  but stay as far away from freeway as you possibly can  
neg	synopsis  in  sooner than you think  america  the future of law enforcement resides in blade squad  a ragtag group of culturally diverse rollerblading cops with jetpacks strapped on their backs  a dangerous criminal  however  attempts to destroy blade squad after his brother dies while being chased by them  comments  so  what do an exgangbanger turned insubordinate traffic cop  a former prostitute with a substance abuse problem  and a junkie turned dennis rodman wannabe turned cop who crashed four police cruisers all have in common  why  theyre all members of blade squad  an elite new crimefighting unit wearing black uniforms  rollerblades  and jetpacks  they also carry video cameras so they can communicate with one another a la the marines in james camerons aliens  yes  its blade squad  the fox networks wednesday night movie of the week  this  movie   marking its dubious world premiere today  curiously has a number of guest stars   how can a movie have guest stars   you may ask  well  blade squad is not really a movie so to speak but a 2 hour pilot for a possible tv series packaged as a movie  blade squad is dumb  blade squad is loud  blade squad is obnoxious  blade squad will probably be a ratings hit and spawn a longlived tv series  why not  after all  television has given its audience crimefighters with talking cars   knight rider    fast helicopters   airwolf    and super fast motorcycles   street hawk    and viewers have eaten it up in the past  so  why not crimefighters with jetpowered roller blades  to be honest  as a madefortv presentation  blade squad is at least watchable  the film has a relatively large cast of characters  a surprisingly intelligible albeit predictable script  and enough action sequences to keep one halfinterested  id imagine adolescent males  probably the target audience of this turkey  would get a kick out of it  i tried to keep that in mind when i watched blade squad  i can remember liking  airwolf  and  street hawk  when i was 10 or 11  and  although this isnt saying much  blade squad is leaps and bounds better than the last fox network movie i had the displeasure of wasting time on  the insipidly awful generation x  a huge disappointment considering the comic books terrific twoyear beginning   but  i digress  despite its limited appeal  blade squad has a lot of kinks to work out if the movie is to become a tv series  one  it suffers from mtv syndrome  a lot of quick shots and weird angles continuously jar the viewers senses while a near nonstop generic rock soundtrack blares incessantly in the background  oh yeah  dylans  knockin on heavens door  and bowies  im afraid of americans  are used here  in rather poor taste  two  blade squad needs a new crew for the sound  the substandard sound editing irritated me to no end  characters dialogue  at times  sounded choppy and unintelligible  during one important scene  a song played loudly in the background  when a character spoke  the songs volume dropped but did not disappear  as soon as that character finished speaking  the songs volume immediately returned to its original level until the next character spoke  this sounds trivial  im sure  but it distracted me immensely  finally  this is commercial television  foul language is not allowed  typically  on commercial television  thus  dont use foul language in a madefortv production because that foul language has to be censored in some manner  in an early scene of the film  for example  the lead good guy and bad guy have a minor confrontation in the streets  when the good guy spouts out a bad word  a driver conveniently honks his cars horn offscreen to muffle the word out  in a  seinfeld  episode  this technique proved funny  here  it seemed goofy and cut the dramatic tension considerably  perhaps future writers  if a show is spun out of the movie  could take a cue from marvel comics 2099 series of comics  make up a bunch of new bad words for the future  this way  you dont need a bunch of honking horns or other silly devices to cover up foul language  compared to the usual crap broadcast tv networks have to offer in terms of movies  blade squad is a suitable exercise in camp  when compared to  say  a movie studio film  blade squad has a lot in common with a term which shares its initials  bs   review written august 12  1998  
neg	what a contrast  in the space of two days  i saw shakespeare in love and hurlyburly  im not sure you could get two more different movies  while the former was all over the top  telegraphing everything  shoving its philosophy of life down our throats  hurlyburly was the complete opposite  wound so tight and with so much buried in its script  one could spend weeks thinking about it  this is one interesting movie  its very much in a similar vein to one of my favourite movies of 98  in the company of men  although not quite so nasty  theres lots of talking and some scary insights into the world of men  hurlyburly doenst contain much plot  we just follow eddie  sean penn  around as he tries to make sense of his life and the people around him  his big question is  does it all pertain to him  and if it does  how is he supposed to feel about it all   it  means everything  television  friends  events that happen  i guess it could be summed up more crudely as  whats it all about  this is not a movie for answers  donna  anna paquin  gives some but theyre not really satisfying  they just lead to more questions  thats what makes this movie stay on your mind  these are the sorts of questions that occupy our time  even when we push them to the background  however we resolve these questions influences everything we do  the performances are all superb in hurlyburly  i havent seen sean penn in much before  in fact  i cant remember seeing him in anything   but he is brilliant in this  eddie isnt a likeable character  but sean penn makes him understandable  i dont want to be his friend but id like to help him  chazz palminteri is also great as phil  making him an awful person  id never want to know phil but still i understand why eddie wants to be his friend  everyone in this film nails their performances  making this world real  its a nasty world  its a sexist world  unlike shakespeare in love which is unfailingly politically correct  hurlyburly is a mans world  seen unapologetically through the eyes of men  i find this fascinating and on two counts  depressing  first  its depressing that such a world exists  a large part of hurlyburlys success is that it convinces me that such people are real and that this sort of environment exists every day in hollywood  that there are a large number of men out there who believe women to be completely peripheral to their world  toys  playthings  sure  everyone is background to everyone else but in this world  women are a long way in the background  second  these are the movies that are being made  stories about mens world  where are the stories about womens world  not the soap operas and the  chick flicks  that are meant to satisfy women  but the real stories that touch on the essence of life like hurlyburly does for men  hurlyburly is based on a stage play and that is evident from the moment the film starts  its very talkative  intelligent and static  while this can make the film drag a bit  and people sometimes sound like theyre quoting textbooks  mostly this is a good thing  not all films have to be filled with special effects and sweeping panoramas  not all films have to underestimate the intelligence of their audience  all it means is that hurlyburly is probably just as effective on video as it is on the large screen  it also means that you have to pay attention  
neg	capsule  the running gag pair of characters from all of kevin smiths films gets their own movie  the gags are sporadically funny  it is more than occasionally funny for teens who are fond of scatological humor and antigay jokes  the plot is weak and the leads are not a particularly funny comic team  the little inside jokes and digs at other entertainment and particularly at kevin smith films are the best features of the film  sadly for me they were just not funny enough to make the film worth watching  this feels like the high school skit that that the principal would not let the kids do on talent night   and it turns out he had very good reasons    low 0  4 to 4  a film needs a plot  it needs characters for empathy value  it needs a story and an emotional center  if a film is just a chain of jokes it can only be so good and any entertainment value will succeed or fail based on how funny the jokes are  kevin smith has now made two satisfying films  clerks and chasing amy  with dogma he tried to make a philosophical religious comedy and mixed with a madcap romp  peter cook and dudley moore did that very successfully with their bedazzled  but getting the combination to work is very hard to do right and kevin smiths fecal monsters in dogma were not the way to do it  his remaining two films  mallrats and his new jay and silent bob strike back are aimed squarely at a teenage audience  jay and silent bob strike back is a compendium of gay jokes  penis jokes  flatulence jokes  film pastiches  and injokes  how funny the jokes are will be a subjective call  for me  the vast majority of the jokes were just not very funny  there was not enough cleverness or variety  it is funny at most once or twice to accuse someone of being gay  penis jokes work only so many times  showing up as minor characters in every kevin smith film jay and silent bob were a clever pair of human running gags  they were sort of the modern equivalents of naunton wayne and basil radford  the comic duo who showed up satirizing the english middle class in several good british postwar films including dead of night  the lady vanishes  and passport to pimlico  jay and silent bob were originally supposedly typical generation x stoners  as the series wore on they had larger and larger parts  in jay and silent bob strike back they are the leads  jay and silent bob  played by jason mewes and kevin smith  are chased away from the front of the convenience store where they were dealing drugs in clerks  this leaves them at loose ends  they are not sure what would be worthwhile to do with their lives when they hear that a comic book with characters visually modeled on them will be adapted into a movie  they decide to devote their lives to wrecking the movie or getting some of that big movie industry cash  so it is off to hollywood to shake down the movie company and having adventures along the way  the film is mostly about their adventures on the road and when they get to hollywood the problem with this comedy team is that neither really pulls his weight to make the film funny  silent bob  being silent  can only contribute to the comedy by reacting with that very expressive face of his  this makes his piece of the comedy even less than a straight man like a dean martin or bud abbott would have  jay has to be the comic  he could carry the load for both if he were extremely inventive  the problem is that he is not sufficiently funny  he is too bland to be the comic half and his lines just do not show any comic flair  so jay and silent bob are a long way from being a successful comic team  their starring roles and the low humor make this a comedy for those young at mind and for people who can laugh at gags they have seen beforesometimes just minutes before  like dogma before it  but definitely not like chasing amy  this film feels more like an amateurish skit than a real movie  certainly neither the plot nor the characters are at all involving  they are excuses for gags  many of which still fall flat  it is dogma without any of the humorous theological content  the film does not offer much to an adult audience  i rate it 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 0 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	the previews for the movie are pretty good  they show a little plot  all the characters  and the emotional highlights  all spliced together to give a general impression of the script  unfortunately  the full movie adds nothing but 115 minutes  the residents of mystery love hockey  mystery and hockey go together like texas and high school football  the townsfolk love hockey so much that they even acquit a player whos guilty of shooting another man  yes  thats one of the movies jokes   every saturday  the best players pair off for a game  and the whole town comes to watch  the towns prodigal son charlie  hank azaria  wrote an article on the weekly game for sports illustrated  mysterys national fame has the town abuzz  a week later  charlie actually shows up in person  and he brings with him an offer from the nhl  the new york rangers will come to mystery to play the locals  the mysterians see this as both good and bad  on the one hand  theyd love to have the fame and the money of such an exhibition  on the other hand  they dont want to turn up as the butt of leno and letterman jokes  the movie follows a handful of lives that are affected by the proposition  biebe  russell crowe  has just been retired from the team and is asked to coach the boys  including his new replacement  hes already resentful  and to top it off charlie has been making eyes at his wife  crowe is not given a lot of room to act in this film  so hes just kind of stuck with constantly brooding  charlie  meanwhile  is resentful of having born in a town where hockey is the only measure of a mans worth  his  gift  of the feature story  and of the new york rangers  was his way of compensating for not being a better skater  he hoped it would earn him some respect and merit  but the townspeople find reasons to continue disliking him  burt reynolds could have been interesting as walter  the judge whose courtroom was befouled by a moronic jury of hockey fans  walter actually has some experience with collegiate hockey  but he actively tries to put it behind him  he wants his son to take the game more seriously  but he wants his community to just get over it  reynolds could have been good  but sloppy writing andor editing keep walter in the corner  and so reynolds never really gets to pull his performance all together  one character actually was interesting  biebes wife  mary mccormack   like the judge  understood that there was more to life than hockey  but unlike him she has come to accept the skewed view of the community  she chose the town and her husband with her eyes wide open  her unique insight is verbalized once  and it lasts only a scene before it is gone  but her performance carries the hint of some deeper wisdom  mysterty  alaska follows a handful of other characters  but none are well developed or worth mentioning  the biggest problem with this movie is that there is no real heart to the story  no underlying thing that the movie is really about  instead  roach and screenwriters david e  kelley and sean obyrne try to cram the entire human condition into this sports comedy  they try to make you laugh and cry  to feel outrage and pride  they present the framing and cadence for jokes  but theres nothing truly funny  they show appropriately staged scenes of sadness  but they give you nothing to be really sad about  as columnist molly ivins would say  its all hat  no cattle  the perfect opportunity arises for roach to say what this movie is really about  there is a funeral scene  played with appropriate gravity and somber music  it is a chance for the characters to reflect on their lives and decide whats truly important  russell crowe steps forward to speak  about to spell out the movies metaphor for us  he says that what really matters in life is  community      then adds  and hockey   i guess these mysterians really are as shallow as they appear  only mildly bad  mystery  alaska probably deserves 2 stars  i even laughed out loud  genuine laughs in places  but i docked it an extra half star when mike myers  a friend of roach  turned up in a role that didnt suit him  myers is a comic character actor  he puts on masks  becomes an outrageous caricature  and is funny  hes great as austin powers  dr  evil  or any of his scottish characters  nobody else in mysterty  alaska is a comic caricature  all the other people have the feel of dramatic characters in semiserious roles  for roach to bring in myers for a few cheap laughs shows incredible contempt toward the rest of his cast  toward his audience  and indeed toward the film itself  its an acknowledgment by the director that the film is not worth taking seriously  
neg	a suave  cool  collected  rich  uptight bad guy  cliche  a clumsy criminal oaf to add to the laughs  cliche  a bad guy who owns a wild animal  cliche  a crooked  chauvinistic law enforcer type  cliche  at an intense moment  our main character tries to get away  but the car has trouble starting  cliche  complaining about cliches  cliche  ok  ok  so we always hear about cliches  but if there was ever to be a prime example  the real mccoy is it  not one uttered word  not one frame of film  not one character in this whole movie isnt a cut and paste example of everything weve ever seen  they might as well use this as a training film   how to make a bank robbery film in the 90s   karen mccoy  kim basinger  is a bank robber who just got out on parole after a sixyear stay at the state prison  she wants to make things right and go straight  especially with the fact that she has a sixyear old son out there who doesnt even know shes alive  aware of mccoys bank robbing expertise  sniveling bad guy jack schmidt  terence stamp  uses the same sixyear old to coerce mccoy into returning to her past  he wants mccoy to pull off an elaborate heist of 18 million dollars at the same bank she got caught trying to rob six years earlier  which  by the way  is somehow due to schmidt  and if she refuses  who knows what hell do to the kid   cue sinister laughter  this movie is so pathetically pitiful that its hard to know where to begin  the aforementioned cliches are brutally abundant  i cant stress enough how every single element  whether it be a character  the dialogue  a plot  twist   etc   is so damn generic that youll wonder if  anyone  is working behind the scenes  let alone in front of the camera  basinger is absolutely vacant  and where do they get off trying to make us emotionally attached to her  heres someone that spent their time robbing banks  and now as she heads onto the street  were supposed to feel sorry for her  as she confronts her son  who doesnt even know who she is  are we supposed to break into tears   especially when neither basinger nor zach english  who plays the kid  has any depth or emotionalradiance whatsoever  i suppose i should mention val kilmer  yeah  thats right  hes in it  quite sadly too  seeing as how i can discuss everything about the movie and never mention his name  and he got second billing  to be fair  i will admit that kilmer had potential in his role as the bumbling criminal wannabe j  t  barker  unfortunately the script doesnt allow much room for improvement  and when his character is used like bookends  he never shows up in the middle of the film    we have no time to appreciate what he might have brought to this project  the real mccoy just cant keep its head above water  and soon   very  soon  sinks into a cliched mess of movie  the actors are like dummies being moved about by an unenthusiastic puppeteer  and the dialogue  particularly schmidts trite dialogue  falls like the niagra  this is definitely one to avoid  folks  the real mccoy is anything but  
neg	ironically  one of the themes of 200 cigarettes is that you should try to make the best of every moment in life  unfortunately i will no longer be able to say that i lived every moment of my life to the fullest  because i spent 95 otherwise perfectly good minutes  watching this sad excuse for a movie  actually smoking 200 cigarettes in the same 95 minutes couldnt be any worse for you than it is to watch the movie  not only is it a pathetically bad film overall  but 200 cigarettes actually has no redeeming qualities whatsoever  the plot is scattered  thin and predictable  the acting is monumentally bad  and the style of film making resembles a home video  it is december 31  1981 and the big party is at monicas  martha plimpton  house  but no one has arrived yet  her 8 invited guests and several people that they have picked throughout the evening are wandering the streets of new york city in various groups  some of them know each other through their common bond of having slept with monica  and some are total strangers  but they all are to face their own personal neuroses before nights end  those who are invited are the ones that have the issues  it is up to those who arent to help them come to terms  first there is eric  brian mccardie  who is a former boyfriend of monicas and is just getting over the heartbreak of their relationship terminating prematurely because of his sexual performance  or lack thereof  he is one of the most bland characters  in a film full of dullness  because he is so utterly predictable and stereotypical  a common trait of this poor production  bridget  nicole parker  and caitlyn  angela featherstone  who are both extremely sensuous young women looking for someone to handle their desires on new years eve and tag along to the party with them  they stumble across a nameless bartender  ben affleck  who is the one truly perfect character in a film of imperfections  he is nether sexually deprived  nor uncertain about his future  as he is in law school  his lack of flaws is both boring  unrealistic and painful to watch  as bridget and caitlyn make passes at him you are neither entertained nor humored by the substandard comedy  moving on  there is val  christina ricci  and stephie   gabby hoffman  2 teenage girls with fake identification and very different thoughts  val is monicas cousin and a true fan of the new york scene  on the other hand  stephie is convinced that she is vulnerable to crime when the two venture out of their usual locations in search of the party that they just cant find  paradoxically  it is 2 punks that they meet at a bar  actually they attempt to flee from their presence  but arent successful  who guide them through their fears and force a level of relaxation upon their warped minds  of all the insanely dull and uninteresting couples  only one approaches a level of decency in both acting and plot  wisely  the movies creators have put heavy emphasis on lucy  courtney love  and kevin  paul rudd  who are best friends and share the common bond of being dateless  paul has just broken up with long time steady ellie  janeane garofalo  and is starting to come to terms with his loss when lucy informs him that ellie had been sleeping around during their relationship  however  the only complexity to these two characters is that they seem to want to be more than friends  and that is reiterated when they attempt sexual intercourse in a bathroom stall on more than one occasion during this strange evening  finally  there are the two worst performances and worst subplot of the film  jack  jay mohr  and cindy  kate hudson  have been going out for a short period of time and jack just learned that he took cindys virginity the night before  while she attempts to play this down and be her usual self  he is a predictably self loathing male as he attempts to deal with a string of one night stands that includes the recently deflowered cindy  very often  when a film is as putrid as this production  there will at least be a decent quality of film making to reveal an occasional moment of glory  however  this film has neither the quality of cinematography nor the moments of glory to be highlighted  instead  what you get is a collection of rough and inconsistent cuts  bad continuity and inaccuracies  first  and most noticeable is that as the film goes from one subplot to another  there is no apparent order that it follows  and it is also weekened by unnecessarily edgy edits from scene to scene and shot to shot  at other times  objects seem to get up and move and hairstyles and costumes change from shot to shot  there are also at least 4 scenes in a taxi cab that go from start to finish  not in a single one of them does anybody pay the driver  and yet  no matter how miserable this film may be  and no matter how poor the acting is all around  there was a ray of a hope for these many bad plots  perhaps  if the makers had just decided to concentrate on one or two or  perhaps  even three  there might have been the time and opportunity for some character development  or quality acting  or even a decent plot payoff at the end  but it didnt happen that way  the cast of quality name actors was forced into roles that not even one of them could convert into a mediocre performance  and every story line crashed and burned quicker than it takes for the ball to drop at midnight  
neg	1990s would remembered as the era of binary movie events in hollywood  two movies dealing with the same subject  or  to be precise  same  high concept   in summer 1994  that  high concept  was  mad bomber action thriller   in few weeks   thrillride of the summer  actionfest speed was followed by rather action thriller blown away  so disappointing that most of the people these days associate the title with the 1992 thriller in which nicole eggert did few nude scenes  the movie begins in the prison in northern ireland  where gaerity  tommy lee jones   ira terrorist with the great talent to make lethal explosive devices from almost any material  escapes from prison  he comes to boston  where he accidentally notices jimmy dove  jeff bridges   dedicated bomb disposal expert within boston police  few people except gaerity know the doves violent past  when he used to be ira terrorist before becoming sick with violence  betraying gaerity and emigrating to america where he changed the name and started using his experience for good purpose  gaerity holds dove personally responsible for his captivity and begins the campaign of bombing terror  directed specifically at doves colleagues  friends and relatives  dove  who is just going to retire and start family  now must confront the mad bomber  while speed doesnt even try to bother with plot and characters  using them only as an excuse for long and spectacular action scenes  blown away tries to be more conventional and provide the action with some back story  and that is the main reason why it is inferior to speed  badly written plot and badly written characters are sometimes worse than no plot and no characters at all  screenplay by john bateer and john rice  barely touches the complicated issues of northern ireland  using the tragedy only as the cheap backstory for even cheaper drama  the plot is  of course  full of implausibilities  the main one is the fact that movie fails to explain how the single individual  no matter how brilliant he is  can produce thousands of deadly devices and hold entire city at bay  those questions  same as in the case of speed  could be forgotten while the action goes on  but the pauses between action scenes are filled with cliched and predictable situation that should provide some background to the characters  because of them  movie seems a little bit too long  and boring at times  the most annoying element of the film  however  is tommy lee jones in the role of mad bomber  his acting is so overthetop that potentially fascinating villain turns into pathetic caricature of himself  this role is in painful contrast with the strong performance given by that same actor in fugitive  the film have few bright points  though  some of the action scenes are fine  which should be credited to director stephen hopkins  predator ii  judgement night   and forrest whitaker really shines in minor role of doves colleague  but  all in all  blown away is a film that was justifiably shadowed by its more famous  yet hardly unforgettable competitor  
neg	dont get me wrong  i tend to appreciate bessons naive  unashamedly romantic worldview  an artsy european sensibility gone thoroughly hollywood  his 1994 leon is exciting and absurdly moving  thanks mainly to the interplay between jean reno and a young natalie portman  and 1997s the fifth element is a goofy paean to love  luv  thats even more of a hoot on repeated viewings  but his joan of arc is a mess  despite some stirring battle scenes and the mostly knockout presence of a closecropped milla jovovich as the maiden herself  jovovich  bessons own personal muse through the making of his last two films  though theyve since separated   is magnetic and energetic enough to play a credible joan  as long as you believe joan was not just a warrior  but also a fabulous  supermodellevel babe   and besson remains a servicable action film director  though not an especially facile one  leading her army against the seemingly impenetrable fortresses of the english  joans struggle against great odds is undeniably stirring  and besson helps you understand how the french could believe  fervently  that god is on her side  bessons big mistake  i think  is trying to dramatize the interior life of his subject  yes  joan had visions  but i guarantee that whatever image a sympathetic audience conjures in its collective mind will be more compelling than the blueeyed christ figure on display in bessons hallucinatory dream sequences  the whole conceit turns into a disaster right about the time dustin hoffman  billed as  the conscience   shows up  spouting platitudes and sending poor milla running around her cell  babbling like ally mcbeal  thats kind of a shame  since she does quite well up to that point  charging into battle with a banshee wail that suggests the eruption of a sublimated bloodthirstiness  that darkly attractive aspect of her character  that shes as likely a charismatic madwoman as the vessel of the lord  is more or less betrayed by the final reels  in which the conscience browbeats her over the killing shes overseen and joan starts to look like little more than a very confused young lady whos about to take a fall  as the story winds down  with joan condemned to a horrible death by fire  besson is aiming for tragedy and psychological significance  trouble is  hes chosen a lurid  often jokey tone for the balance of the picture  including some blithe cgi bloodshed in the battle scenes  and its impossible to shake the feeling that this particular vision of the middle ages is  to a great extent  nothing more than a puton  this glib  prefab version of such a great story makes me all the more grateful for dreyers the passion of joan of arc  1928   a film whose dialogue is drawn from the actual transcripts of joans trial  and which stands as one of the most harrowing experiences in all of cinema  compared to that film  the messenger plays as a crime against history   directed by luc besson written by besson and andrew birkin cinematography by thierry arbogast music by eric serra starring milla jovovich franceusa  1999 theatrical aspect ratio  2  35  1  
neg	delicatessen  directors  marc carojeanpierre jeunet  screenwriters  gilles adrienmarc caro  cinematographer  darius khondji  editor  herve schneid  cast  dominique pinon  louison   marielaure dougnac  julie clapet   jeanclaude dreyfus  clapetthe butcher   karin viard  mademoiselle plusse   ticky holgado  marcel tapioca   annemarie pisani  madame tapioca   jacques mathou  roger   rufus  robert kube   howard vernon  frog man   edith ker  granny   boban janevski  young rascal   mikael todde  young rascal   chick ortega  postman   silvie laguna  aurore interligator   howard vernon  frog man   runtime  96  miramaxconstellationugchatchette premiere  1991france  reviewed by dennis schwartz a black comedy set in the near future in a boarding house run by a depraved butcher  the comedy is played more in comic strip style for entertaining value than for deeper satire  as it features mostly zany sophomoric sight gags and relies heavily on special effects  the world has fallen on hard times and there are food shortages which include no meat  so the butcher serves up meat from human flesh to customers who pay with grain  almost as valued a commodity  thats the big joke in the film and the novelty of that cannibalism idea wears thin mighty fast  as the characters are too absurd and sketched too thinly for us to care about them  this tasteless postapocalyptic french comedy is a first feature for the codirectors marc carojeanpierre jeunet  it failed to reach my funny bone and instead left me mostly annoyed at its slight story and its dark projections for the future  an excircus clown named louison  dominique pinon   the films toogoodtobetrue hero  answers an ad for work as a handyman for clapet  jeanclaude dreyfus   and the butcher and landlord  offers him room and board in his house  the butchers clumsy and nearsighted daughter julie  marielaure dougnac  falls in love with the skinny  weird looking clown  and the two make some music together  with her playing the cello and him a saw  they are the innocents  surrounded by a boarding house of misfits suffering from fear and watched over by her overbearing father  who has lured into his tenement the clown  as he has his past innocent victims  so that he can put his cleaver to him and then sell him as meat  which he intends to do as soon as the clown fixes up the tenement  the entire film takes place in the shabby tenement  and the tenants are an odd lot of bizarre malcontents  who do not trust each other  there are two youngsters  boban janevski  mikael todde  who do any kind of mischief they can  a frog man  howard vernon  who lives with water on the floor so he can raise his frogs and snails that he eats  two brothers  mathou  kube  who create little cowmoo novelty toys  a man  holgado  who sells a bullshit detector to the butcher for his piece of meat  a slutty woman  karin viard   who lives with the butcher and only wants his meat  the aristocratic woman  silvie laguna  who tries numerous times to commit suicide but is too inept to do it right  the tenants are too afraid to come out at night because they know what the butcher is up to  so they are forced to communicate with each other through a pipe that runs through the building  in one scene they are all in musical harmony to the lovemaking of the butcher and his gal  as their bedsprings squeak   there is also a sexcrazed postman  chick ortega   who lusts for the butchers daughter and carries a gun while delivering the mail  there is also an underdeveloped subplot about a band of incompetent underground veggie fanatics  called trogolodistes  who have been summoned to rescue the clown and steal some grain  the directors overloaded the film with too many eccentrics  as the comedy seemed forced while the surreal look of the film added no dramatic intensity  delicatessen could have some appeal to the cult film crowd who like their meat sliced thin  monty python fans  and those who liked terry gilliams brazil  a film similar in spirit  
neg	its a shame the execution of this concept falls very short of its premise  the movie is lacking and most unsatisfying  osmosis jones is crude  gross  disgusting  and was directed by the farrelly brothers  the twisted siblings behind theres something about mary  me  myself and irene and a couple of other movies in which the humor is mostly targeted below the belt  not that theres anything wrong with scatology  i bet even cavemen appreciated bathroom humor  such as it was  its merely that with osmosis jones  the farrellys humor is too juvenile  too predictable  you can almost foresee the puns just by viewing the part of the inner anatomy a sequence is drawn  osmosis jones looks like one of those old health class movies gone psycho  the trouble is  the animation may please the very young  but the jokes may be over their heads  while the teenage audience may find it too tame for their tastes  adults  well  lets just say most will find it unappetizing  osmosis jones plays like a 100minute infomercial for the eat healthy foods lobby  the live action sequences revolve around frank  bill murray   who seems to be the grungiest human being in the universe  he continually looks as if he needs a shave and a shower  frank  much to the consternation of his daughter  is a fastfood addict  eating anything  and everything  that can kill you  he works at a zoo where the animals look cleaner  and presumably smell better  than he does  franks body is invaded by thrax  a lethal virus  after frank eats a hardboiled egg that had fallen to the ground  its not gross enough that frank picks the egg up from the dirt and plops it into his mouth  nope  the farrellys pile it on by first having frank wrestle a chimp for the egg  wresting it from the primates mouth  like i said  the gross meter tips the scales on this one  after ingesting the egg  the movie begins its animated sequences  here  osmosis jones  voiced by chris rock   a renegade white blood cell is teamed with drix  voiced by frasiers david hyde pierce   a 12hour  painkiller cold capsule to battle thrax  smoothly voiced by laurence fishburne   basically  what we have is a cliched copbuddy movie  rife with all the clich  s of that genre  and this is why osmosis jones doesnt click  it merely falls back on tired  familiar conventions instead of creating new and exciting situations  the jokes and puns are lame  osmosis searches out a snitch  a former flu virus  after pumping him for information  drix tells osmosis   funny  he doesnt look fluish   and the jokes dont rise above that level  the live action scenes are no better  frank is such a slob  so unappealing that it is difficult to fathom how he ever married or even sired a child  hes almost a bigger cartoon than the animated characters  osmosis jones is a movie that may be too violent for young children as thrax burns and dissolves blood cells right and left  the animation is rather twodimensional and flat  it lacks scope and depth  it is an unappealing movie that will leave you scratching your head  and maybe leaning toward a shower after you walk out of the theater  
neg	has hollywood run out of interesting characters and plotdriven suspense thrillers that we must spend two hours watching will smith and a gritty gene hackman exchange obtuse dialogue and run around dodging fireballs  in enemy of the state  that is exactly right  a few parts the net  and a few parts conspiracy theory  enemy is about as exciting as watching smith talk to cgi aliens in 1997s lame brained men in black  will this guy ever get a real role  he has the bruce willis syndrome  the plot is bascially smith  playing a lawyer  getting into hot water with some high government murderers  who assassinated a powerful political figure earlier in the movie  when a tape of the killing gets into his hands  he inlists the help of an old conspirator  hackman   and  at the end  er    you know  enemy was one of the worst films of last year  not only was it sloppy in telling its story and getting its facts straight  the acting was mediocre when it should have been energy driven  and i didnt like how smith always magically outsmarted the badies when all the other extra characters  seeming more intelligent than smith  somehow got run over by a truck  enemy came out around the same time as the superior star trek  insurrection  i know these two films are different in  well  everything  but the fact that enemy outgrossed insurrection just baffels me  somehow  quality cant overshadow quantity  
neg	vegas vacation is the fourth film starring chevy chase and beverly dangelo as the heads of the hapless griswold family  as with the other three films  their two children  rusty and audrey  are played by a revolving series of actors  this time ethan embry and marisol nichols fill the roles  also back  is cousin eddie  randy quaid   the slob relative who seems to bring problems wherever he goes  in vegas vacation clark griswold  chase  decides to take the family on vacation to las vegas so that he and wife ellen  dangelo  can renew their wedding vows  it is at this point when comedy is supposed to ensue  apparently the filmmakers thought that putting the griswolds into las vegas would be so funny on its own that they wouldnt bother to write any jokes into the script  at least thats the way it looks when watching this turkey  about half way through vegas vacation i began to have serious doubts as to whether there would actually be a single laugh in the entire film  since there had been none up to that point  by the end of the movie i had actually snickered a couple of times  and i had smiled at a couple of gags  i might add that none of the funny  and i use the term loosely  moments came as a result of anything chase  dangelo or quaid were involved in  they might as well have stayed home for as much as they contributed to this film  the two best things in this movie were ethan embry and marisol nichols as the griswold kids  who manage to have a couple of their own adventures  rusty becomes a vegas high roller  providing most of the films best moments  every time chase and quaid were involved in a gag  it just made it more and more apparent that they should have stopped this series after the third film  which brings me to the best moment of the film  the griswolds are driving down the highway and holiday road  the theme from the original vacation  begins to play  christie brinkley and her red ferrari  also from the first movie  drive by  it was a cute moment  but all it really did was remind me just how funny the first film had been  and just how far that this series has fallen  too bad  
neg	burnt money is the perfect festival film  it will show once or twice  and then no one  thankfully  will ever have to hear from it again  this film from the seattle international film festival 2001s emerging masters series is easily one of the years worst  billed as a gay bonnie and clyde  this gritty film from director marcelo pi  eyro has its only highlight in a welldesigned title sequence  two gay lovers get involved in a bank robbery that makes a gang leader  whose plan they screwed up  angry  this causes the gang leader to send his boys out to get the gay guys  one of whom may not actually be gay  hiding out in a prostitutes apartment  the two men must fight off police and gang members in a very long showdown for the movies conclusion  if caught  they risk losing all the money  and their love  as an added emotional bonus  one of the gay men is dying  or something like that  everything that happens is so quick and confusing i was completely lost  clarity isnt exactly this movies striving virtue  so it was a little hard to pick up  not much could have really happened though  the main events in this long twohour film are explicit homosexual and heterosexual sex  graphic drug use  extreme violence  and strong language  lots of explicit material is never a bad thing when theres a reason  but theres no purpose to anything in this film  most of the sex and violence scenes come off as silly  while the heavy drug use comes off as ridiculous and depressing  it appears pi  eyro  who cowrote with marcelo figueras  from a novel by ricardo piglia  purposefully adds more blood and lovemaking for his own amusement  he makes the actors as sweaty and dirty as possible  makes them snort cocaine  gives them guns and condoms  and lets them go  burnt money is pointless  the performances are bad  it tries to thrill and shock  but only causes boredom  god forbid it will ever get a distributor  another disappointing film from this years socalled emerging masters series  pass on by  
neg	claire danes  giovanni ribisi  and omar epps make a likable trio of protagonists  but theyre just about the only palatable element of the mod squad  a lamebrained bigscreen version of the 70s tv show  the story has all the originality of a block of wood  well  it would if you could decipher it   the characters are all blank slates  and scott silvers perfunctory action sequences are as cliched as they come  by sheer force of talent  the three actors wring marginal enjoyment from the proceedings whenever theyre on screen  but the mod squad is just a secondrate action picture with a firstrate cast  
neg	the haunting  a film so confusing that it forgets the true meaning of a horror film  to scare us  if youve ever seen a movie  which you probably have considering you are on this website  you should know about all of the trivia they post before a movie  they have things like illustrations and you have to guess the movie or facts about the film  but  the one i always like are the quot  other namequot  joke that try and rename a particular film  for instance  the one playing before the haunting had different titles for the film  small soldiers  they had titles like little infantry and can i get those fatigues in a smaller size  well  after seeing the haunting  i had a few particular names for it as well  unfortunately  i can only post one of them  otherwise  id be getting some pretty angry emails from overprotective mothers  that title would be the confusing  ok  that is a pretty bad title  but it fits this film perfectly  it basically serves up no purpose  and combined with dry dialogue and a boring and confusing plot  it completes the formula for a cinematic bomb  liam neeson once again gets wrapped up in a film without any depth  but at least the phantom menace was exciting and had some depth  the haunting is nothing but trash  but unfortunately  will still make a boatload of money  before i rant and rave about how bad this film is  let me point out the few  and i stress the word few  bright spots in this film  first  the house is great looking  it looks beautiful  but this is also a dark spot  it looks so great that it is hard to be frightened by it  this is something that rears its ugly head at all points of the film  things look so great  that you are looking on in awe instead of being scared straight  haunted house films have to contain one element to even be slightly successful and that is being eerie  the hill house is not eerie  it is beautiful  but not the least bit frightening  ever heard of lili taylor  before this film i did not  but i am glad that i do now  she gives the only satisfactory performance in the film  despite the dry dialogue and boringconfusing concept  she manages to light up the screen every time she appears  but unfortunately  her costars are usually following right behind  owen wilson  who plays luke  is the only other cast member even close to giving an admirable performance  other then taylor  he is basically there for the comic relief  and his character development is poor in all other areas  all of the characters are desperately underdeveloped  wilson had potential as luke  but it seems they just needed him to add a few laughs  liam neeson and catherine zetajones suffer from the dialogue and plot and should not have been in this film  their characters must suffer from wicked mood swings because in each scene they turn from ruthless to compassionate to scared to brave and whatnot  they just are not believable and this is the final nail in the hauntings coffin  the plot is terrible  the opening scene of the film is very important  but the director makes it too obvious by getting closeups of all the things that will play a major role in the end of the film  as i sat through the film  i kept wondering what this film was trying to accomplish  nell  lili taylors character  goes from the hunted to the savior  it makes no sense and the director gives the audience no reasoning for the ridiculous changes that take place in the film  he forces the viewer to make various assumptions and does not give any indepth information  for instance  the beginning of the film gives us a sense of why nell is getting involved in the program  but  we get zilch for the other four  plus  two of them get wiped out in the first ten minutes  and the worst part  most horror films have killings  for some reason  they kill off luke at the end of the film  no reason whatsoever  just off with his head  literally  overall  the haunting is the epitome of a bad movie  bad plot  confusing storyline and a waste of good talent  hopefully  liam neeson can rebound and get into a good film and be used to his full potential  hopefully  lili taylor will be recognized for doing such a great job in such a bad film  and hopefully  other horror films  such as the blair witch project and the haunting of hill house  will not be as bad as this one  
neg	in 1989  director edward zwick began his career with the powerful civil war drama   glory   but since then  he has made continuous disappointments  to me at least  with 1994s  legends of the fall   and 1996s  courage under fire   those two films werent bad  just not very good  but with zwicks latest film   the siege   he has finally made one   the siege   is a modernday actionthriller that focuses on terrorism that is sweeping through new york city  investigating the matter is fbi agents anthony hubbard  denzel washington  and frank haddad  tony shalhoub   who are first hit by the ordeal when a city bus explodes with several innocent people on it  later  a bomb goes off in a broadway theater  killing even more  they soon meet cia operative elise kraft  annette bening   who may very well hold the key to the identity of the arab terrorist  there are some movies that simply dont need to be made  and   the siege  may very well be one of them  oh  sure  zwick thinks he is making a  meaningful  action film  since he has added lots of exposition scenes in which the audience is basically lectured on the horrors of terrorism  but what he really has made is actually no more substantial than  say   die hard   which also starred bruce willis  this time  willis is horribly wasted as a general of the u  s  army  who puts a state of martial law over nyc during the climax  whatever points   the siege   earnestly tried to make  were obviously lost in the translation from page to screen  or maybe  zwick never really had anything serious to say in the first place  the role of the arab community is offensively stereotypical  just as women were in the recent   john caprenters vampires   by placing them all in the category of  bad guys    the siege   contains three fine actorswashington  bening  and shalhoubbut washington is stuck with a character that contains not an ounce of even remote development  bening has slightly more to do  and has an intriguing character to work with  while shalhoub pretty much steals the show  even though  again  he has no real character  by the climax of   the siege   with washington giving a sermon to willis on the socalled  message  of the story  i felt like i had wandered into a sequel to   on deadly ground   in which steven seagal gave a 10minute speech at the end about preserving the environment   the siege  is constantly heavyhanded  not entertaining or insightful  and just goes to prove that not even the best actors can save a film that lacks a satisfactory screenplay  
neg	i guess that if a very wild bachelor party had gone really bad  there would be broken furniture  traces of smack and cocaine on the floor  and a dead prostitute in the bathroom  i guess that if a movie had also gone really bad  there might be the same elements present  coincidence  poor kyle  a meek looking jon favreau     he is about to marry his radiant fiancee  laura  cameron diaz   but before he exchanges his vows  he embarks to las vegas with his friends for one last blowout  but this bachelor party has gone about as bad as it could possibly get  the prostitute has met a horrible  though accidental death  and drugs are everywhere  the five friends agree that there is enough bad evidence here that will send them to jail for a very long time  a surprisingly calm robert boyd  christian slater   who looks like he was groomed to make nefarious decisions  ponders their dilemma for a few minutes before deciding that the best thing to do is to bury the body in the desert where shell never be found  although they stomach the gruesome deed of getting rid of the body  which also disturbingly involves dismantling the body using power saws in order to stuff it into suitcases   when they return from their trip  guilt and paranoia begins to set in which slowly consumes some of the five friends  one is adam  daniel stern  he grows increasingly agitated  whenever people look at his van or whenever a cop glances his way  his blood pressure increases  or that just may be because of his dysfunctional family  another is michael  who was actually responsible for her death  he tries to bury his feelings  but the burden of guilt begins to affect his judgment as well  boyd is the  doer of the group  seemingly suffering from a long psychosis  when he feels as if his secret is about to be exposed  he is apt to take extreme measures to cover up his tracks  kyle just hopes that his wedding will live up to lauras demanding expectations  then  theres moore  leland orser  who speaks 5 lines and walks around with a puzzled look on his face  the problem with this reprehensible movie is that it wants to be a cruel comedy  but it presents things in a manner that just arent funny  drugs  mutilation  and killing your own friends isnt something to be laughed at  as a straight psychological drama  i could see how it might have worked  as each one tried to maneuver and overcome the weight of their own guilt in their own sometimessick ways  but this movie insults us by assuming that we could simply discard our values for 2 hours  if you do like this movie  i dont think that i want to know you  i did find slater a convincing leader who sways his friends to choose not the right thing but the  smart play   and diaz adds some brightness to this film as a weddingneeding fiancee  but her talents are essentially wasted here  its obvious that the film maker is trying to strike a certain tone  but the way that he chooses to do it is tasteless  do not make a very bad decision by seeing this film  
neg	i had been looking forward to this film since i heard about it early last year  when matthew perry had just signed on  im big fan of perrys subtle sense of humor  and in addition  i think chris farleys onedge  extreme acting was a riot  so naturally  when the trailer for  almost heroes  hit theaters  i almost jumped up and down  a soda in hand  the lights dimming  i was ready to be blown away by farleys final starring role and what was supposed to be matthew perrys big breakthrough  i was ready to be just amazed  for this to be among farleys best  in spite of david spades absence  i was ready to be laughing my head off the minute the credits ran  sadly  none of this came to pass  the humor is spotty at best  with good moments and laughable oneliners few and far between  perry and farley have no chemistry  the role that perry was cast in seems obviously written for spade  for its his type of humor  and not at all what perry is associated with  and the movie tries to be smart  a subject best left alone when its a farley flick  the movie is a major dissapointment  with only a few scenes worth a first look  let alone a second  perry delivers not one humorous line the whole movie  and not surprisingly  the only reason the movie made the top ten grossing list opening week was because it was advertised with farley  and farleys classic humor is widespread  too  almost heroes almost works  but misses the wagontrain by quite a longshot  guys  lets leave the exploring to lewis and clark  huh  stick to  tommy boy   and well all be  friends   
neg	the original babe gets my vote as the best family film since the princess bride  and its sequel has been getting rave reviews from most internet critics  both siskel and ebert sighting it more than a month ago as one of the years finest films  so  naturally  when i entered the screening room that was to be showing the movie and there was nary another viewer to be found  this notion left me puzzled  it is a rare thing for a childrens movie to be praised this highly  so wouldnt you think that every parent in the entire city would be flocking with their kids to see this supposedly  magical  piece of work  a tad bewildered  but pleased to not have to worry about screaming kids and other disruptions that commonly go along with family films  i sat back for 97 minutes and watched intently and with a very open mind  having great expectations for the film  looking back  i should have taken the hint and left right when i entered the theater  believe me  i wanted to like babe  pig in the city  the plot seemed interesting enough  after the events that took place in the original  babe the sheeppig has become a legitimate national phenomenon  but after a fateful encounter with a water well  arthur hogget  james cromwell  who the movie could have used alot more of  has been rendered bedridden for a number of weeks and the farm begins to go under financially  the only solution that his wife  magda szubanski  going from delightfully charming to downright annoying  can come up with is to make an appearance with their new celebrity pet at a national fair  i think  and to use the money they earn to pay off the bank  set aside for the moment the fact that they could get more than enough cash from donations if they just made their case known to the public   problem is  the fair is being held in the middle of the dreaded  city   a completely foreign place to both the pig and his companion  setting the main plot in motion  mrs  hogget and babe travel to the unnamed city and shack up with a sweet lady who just happens to love to help animals  despite the law that you cannot keep them in hotels  it is here that we meet an array of eccentric characters  the most memorable being the family of chimps led by steven wright  here is where the film took a wrong turn  up until this point  i had being having a rather enjoyable experience  the beginning featured some smart writing and funny situations involving the farm animals from the first one and even an inspired moment at the airport where mrs  hogget is accused of smuggling drugs  unfortunately  the story wears thin as we are introduced to a new set of animals that reside at the hotel  none of them being even onetenth as interesting as the characters from the previous babe  the main topic of discussion surrounding babe  pig in the city is the question of whether or not it is to dark and disturbing for small children  and i believe it is  at one point  a dog is hung from his neck and slowly starts to drown  at other times  we are treated to surrealistic flashbacks to mrs  hoggets full cavity search at the airport  in fact  the overall tone of the movie is rather bleak and depressing  however  that is  as they say  neither here nor there because kids will probably not like the movie anyway  the animal characters and their plights were simply not intriguing enough to sustain my interest for an hour and a half  let alone entertain a child  another problem i found with the film was its sudden change of pacing and tone near the end of the story  if youre going to make a darker and more sinister sequel  fine  it may not be my cup of tea  but at least it is a noble ambition  but to go from the downbeat feel of the rest of the movie and all of a sudden have slapstick finale with mrs  hogget swinging from walltowall of a ballroom in elastic overalls  it just didnt feel right and was more painful to watch than it was funny or entertaining  and the same goes for the rest of the movie  
neg	to put it bluntly  ed wood would have been proud of this  a totally ridiculous plot is encompassed with bad humor  hokey drama  zero logic and a crap screenplay  also  a beautifully anticlimactic ending  not to say it didnt look intriguing when i saw the previews  so much for truth in advertising  roland emmerich  whos later  independence day  would look like  the 400 blows  compared to this  cowrited and directed this inane scifi film which uses the cliche of there being some connection between eqypt and aliens  in a useless opening sequence  men find a stone in 1914 with hieroglyphics on it  it wouldnt be till present day  94  till they would actually figure it out  theyre decipherer  a slightlyneurotic scientist  nice twist   dr  dan jackson  james spader  doing his best outside of erotic thrillers and some indy fare  whos life sucks so much that people walk out of his lectures after the third word  why do they use him to decipher what no one else could  so there is a hokey ending  duh  he figures it out in about a minute  yea  and then they get a suicidal colonel or something   jack  oneill  kurt russel  with his wyat earp locks in the beginning then a flattop that would make howie long snap into a fetal position   why a suicidal colonel  for the ending  youll get the hang of this  they open the stargate  a bunch of them go through it with a bomb to blow it up if they find anything bad  after an overdone special effects thing  theyre    inside a goddam pyramid  so they went to egypt  right  wrong  theyre on another planet that was filmed in egypt  they discover a cilvilization ruled by ra  the sun god  the androginous jaye davidson  with a voice modifier to make him sound like barry white with asthma   and there are fights  explosions and a kiss between two people  yea  also melodrama  stupidity  hokey scenes and a bizarre language  an anticlimactic ending ends with stupid lines   say hello to king tut  asswhole    the quintessential line  lemme tell ya  and some convenient pesudopseudopseudocharacter development  by the end  you just wanna go home and watch  i dont know  the  outer limits  or something  the scripts terrible  the special effects are okay  but nothing great  the storys so weak that its almost opaque  the whole experience just isnt worth it unless youre so bored that youd consider watching a  full house  marathon    or this  id pick this  obviously  but still  its just not fun at all  and i cant wait for it to premier on mst3k  
neg	i wonder if budget is at all a criterion for whether or not a movie can be considered an exploitation flick  take the professional  for example  it boasts extremely glossy cinematography  a couple of recognizable name actors  and a couple of fairly impressive explosions  its also basically about violence and cheap titilation  and features a central relationship between a middleaged man and a twelveyearold girl with a decidedly ambiguous sexual dimension  the professional is all over the map  and its pretensions of being about anything more than its most unpleasant elements simply make it all the more unpleasant  the professional of the title is a new york hit man named leon  jean reno   brutally efficient but also very isolated  one day he is forced to let someone into his life when a girl from his apartment building knocks on his door  her name is matilda  natalie portman   and the rest of her family has just been killed by crooked and very wired d  e  a  agent norman stansfield  gary oldman  after matildas father tried to rip him off  leon reluctantly takes matilda in  then begins to teach her his profession when she says that she wants to avenge the murder of her young brother  the two become closer  which makes them all the more vulnerable when stansfield learns that they know too much  and sets out to eliminate them both  writerdirector luc besson has gone this route before with his popular french import la femme nikita  a slick potboiler about a female assassin  there is no question that besson can make a great  looking  film  with the assistance of cinematographer thierry arbogast  he has created a film chock full of moody closeups and evocative lighting  but beneath the shiny wrapper  there isnt nearly as much going on as besson would like us to believe  the relationship between leon and matilda never clicks because neither one is given a character to develop  leon is mostly a collection of quirky traits  all intended to show us that for a hired killer  hes really not so bad a guy  he drinks lots of milk  takes meticulous care of a potted plant  and enjoys gene kelly movies  jean reno succeeds at giving leon a haunted and desperate quality  but he never makes an emotional connection to matilda  natalie portman is all wrong for a part that called for a much grittier quality  but she doesnt have too much to work with  either  besson would have been better served spending more time trying to bring his characters to life  and less on feeble attempts at humor which are often embarrassing  a silly game between leon and matilda involving celebrity impersonations is completely out of place  as is a scene where matilda shocks a hotel manager by announcing that leon is her lover  character is thoroughly sacrificed for a cheap gag  gary oldmans entire part is something of a cheap gag  wildeyed and way over the top  but at least he is interesting to watch  there isnt a real person to be found anywhere in the professional  which isnt always a problem in an action thriller  except that this one is trying to pass itself off as something more  a more disconcerting problem with the professional is that it plays around with the sexuality of a twelveyearold in a really distasteful way  there were only two real choices for dealing with that component of leon and matildas relationship  confront it head on  or ignore it entirely  but besson flirts and teases the audience with the idea that hes going to show them a forbidden love story  while choosing simply to focus his camera on portmans rear end and dress her in skimpy clothing  this is to say nothing of the questionable decision to make it look like quality paternal time when leon is teaching a child to load a 9mm pistol  or the blood which is spilled aplenty  a great deal of the time  the professional is just plain sleazy  and all the soft filters in the world cant disguise that fact  
neg	one of these days  ill make good on my promise never to rent another abel ferrara movie  king of new york and body snatchers notwithstanding  and bad lieutenant is only fit for a single  emotive viewing   his exploitation flicks have fallen into a rut of hoary arthouse trappings  its a perfumedrenched  cokeaddled visit to the seedy pornography shop  where beautiful models  no  hookers  no  courtesans  usher you through the silk curtains  ferraras only consistently smart move has been casting christopher walken over and over again  since walken can make a good movie great and a loathsome movie durable whenever hes onscreen  his 8minute scene in the addiction is the saving grace of that otherwise abysmal  unwatchable  and pretentious failure  when he starts talking about his vampiric bowel movements  or questions whether lili taylor has ever read naked lunch  theres a muchneeded dose of humor in an otherwise terminally unfunny affair  you know those gothic club kids who are too cool to smile and let you know theyre actually having fun  the addiction is that movie  walken  sadly  does not appear in the blackout  the central role of matty  a junkie film star whose lightning paced hollywood life among the beautiful people is inevitably leading to his destruction  is played by matthew modine  who takes what he can get after cutthroat island   much like the protagonists of michelangelo antonionis terminally bored cultural elite  matty is involved in a bitter pill  relationship  with high fashioned model annie  at least i think shes a model   mattys lady is played by french actress b  atrice dalle  arrested twice for cocaine possession during filming of the blackout  not that you needed to know that  but it lends credence to the idea that ferraras entire oeuvre has been filmed in a fucking blackout  no kidding  requiem for a dream has nothing on the junkie presentations seen in ferraras movies and his controversial urban lifestyle  matty and annie struggle over her decision to have an abortion without consulting him  no doubt  he was off chasing the dragon  in his despair  matty indulges in a chemical induced weekend of debauchery  tooling around the streets of miami with video filmmaker mickey wayne  dennis hopper  in full  dirty ol man  mold smacking models on the ass and telling them to spread their legs  wider   toward the end of the night  they pick up a teenage waitress also named annie  sarah lassez   start shooting a hastily improvised sexual scene  then matty thankfully blacks out  something happened that night which haunts him throughout the rest of the movie  and its exactly what you think it was  suffice to say  theres some confusion over whether he killed annie one or annie two  or anyone at all  the blackout is typical ferrara  no plot to speak of  plenty of raunch  and horribly vogue images of matthew modine downing a bottle of jack daniels and a beer while wrapping himself in a seethrough curtain in his hotel room by the sea  by the sea  by the beautiful sea  cinematographer ken kelsch finds inconsistent glory in alternating gorgeous painterly sunsets with docustyle sleaze  and were back to dennis hopper leering at girls in bathing suits   yeah    yeah    arrrghhh   says mr  hopper  dirty old sod   its compulsive viewing in a tacky sort of way  leading to a ridiculous climax where modine seizes control of his destiny  hows that for cryptic  never fear  ferrara finds time for some female full frontal nudity to remind us what hes all about  i can picture it now   take off yer clothes  kid  its essential to depict the inner maelstrom of my central protagonist  and youre his visual id  youre the soul  the heart  the bloodstream of the picture  take it off  take it all off    ha ha ha   friggin vampire  yeah  you  ferrara  a final word about matthew modine  hes actually a fine actor when properly cast  but theres something too squeakyclean in his demeanor  hes ideally suited for sarcastic men in tightly controlled situations  such as his private joker in full metal jacket or the timebomb nebbish in short cuts  who is every bit as superb as julianne moore in that famous scene  though no one seems to notice him   he was in that scene  ed   here  hes asked to let it all hang out  sporting a threeday stubble and oily bangs  he throws around furniture like stanley kowalski  but its somehow lacking  modine lacks the feral intensity of brando  entirely miscast in ferraras flesh fair  better luck next time  matt  someday  youll be forgiven for cutthroat island  which wasnt really your fault in the first place  maybe atom egoyan will find a place for you somewhere  and all will once again be well in your world  
neg	making your first feature film aint easy  assemble a decent  if not  strong cast  as writerdirector robert moresco has done with one eyed king  and youre already ahead of the game  but rehash old plot lines  tired dialogue  and standard clich  s  and a wellintentioned effort such as this one could jeopardize your chance at a second feature film  how many more movies do we need about a rough neighborhood full of lifelong friends hopelessly turned to crime or worse  the enormous catalog of such movies might dissuade a filmmaker from making yet another  but here we have it  again  five irish kids in nycs hells kitchen make an overemotional pact over some stolen rings on an anonymous rooftop  with teary music  and slow motion  in the films first scene  the kids grow up to be fairly worthless adults  unable or unwilling to make their way out of the heat of the kitchen  leading the clueless pack is william baldwin as a goodhearted guy who watches out for his buddies and is in tight with local mob head armand assante  id like to say that his character gets involved over his head in some sort of blah  blah  blah  but all we seem to get are little tastes of possible plot points  hes concerned about buddy jason gedricks heroin abuse  he sticks up for jim breuer after he impregnates baldwins characters sister  he looks into who might be pushing the most moroniclooking counterfeit cash ever made  a genuinely funny touch   but none of this ever really amounts to anything  it seems that morescos greater concern is to provide that intangible  slice of life   that flavor of the neighborhood that everyones been trying to evoke since scorseses early work  so  we get the drunk guys  hugging and singing together at the local bar  to prove to us that they really love each other   do people actually do this    we get a lot of tough street talk  usually mumbled for effect  and a whole lot of the fword  whether it sounds like it fits or not  we also get a handful of good actors in small roles that seem to lack purpose  bruno kirby  chazz palminteri  you know  guys youve seen in movies just like this one before  assante is intelligent casting as the man that everyone fears  and baldwins performance is adequate  but most of the rest of the cast jump into the tough guy persona so thoroughly that its almost funny  moresco  a theater guy and sometimes tv writer  including the series falcone   obviously labored over this one as anyone might a first child  but the content is probably too personal  as a result  the movies style is heavyhanded  in need of a considerable amount of toning down  nearly every time an action by the grown up gang recalls something they did as kids  moresco reminds us  boy does he remind us  with slow dissolves to the earlier scene  running in slow motion  complete with dialogue from the present  just in case we dont comprehend the link to the past  moresco needs to either trust his audiences intelligence  or have more faith in his own presentation rather than beat us over the head with it  his next project should have a little more personal distance  and a lot more subtlety  if he actually gets that chance  reviewed as part of our 2001 boston film festival coverage  feature story coming soon   
neg	whenever u  s  government starts meddling into other countries affairs  under the pretext of supporting human rights or preventing political  religious or ethnic persecution  the other side is ready to use mantra that says  look whos talking  what have you done to the indians   however  even the americans themselves are ready to use that dark chapter of their own national history when it suits their purposes  hollywood is just another example  with its revisionist westerns  made in early 1990s  those movies tried to exploit the emerging wave of political correctness  coinciding with the 500th anniversary of columbus discovery of america  one of such examples is geronimo  an american legend  1993 western directed by walter hill  film that deals with one of the last conflicts between american natives and white settlers  the hero of the film is geronimo  played by wes studi   leader of apaches  fierce warrior tribe that used to give hard time to white settlers during the second half of 19th century  when the movie begins  in 1885  geronimo and his apaches made peace with u  s  government and try to live peacefully in arizona reservation  however  broken promises  injustice and violence against his people would make geronimo restless  with not more 30 or so of his followers  he escapes reservation and begins guerrilla campaign  general crook  gene hackman   commander of u  s  army forces  respects geronimo and knows that even his 5  000 force isnt enough to catch geronimo in the great spaces of the american southwest  instead  he turns to people who are more experienced with apaches  lt  charles gatewood  jason patric  and indian hunter al sieber  robert duvall   together with young lt  britton davis  matt damon  they would begin mission aimed at capturing geronimo  geronimo  an american legend  like many movies made under the shadow of political correctness  try to tell the tale about oppressed minorities  but instead the real subject is the bad conscience of the oppressors  so  the story about geronimo is told from the perspective of his enemies  almost all of them happen to be his greatest admirers and use every opportunity to express how sorry they feel for having to fight him and his people  although such elements of john millius screenplay do indeed have some basis in history  they harm the story of geronimo  to be honest  walter hill does try to make geronimo the real hero of the film  but the movie segments that deal with the plight of apaches and the uprising are given too little time  instead  they turn out to be nothing more than the back story for rather uninteresting adventure story of gatewood and his band  to make even worse  hill has some real problems with pacing and style  and in the end we have impression that we are watching two films badly edited into one  story about geronimo and story about his pursuers  the movie should have been better if it turned to geronimos life before and after his last uprising  in many ways more interesting than the story about gatewood  the difference between those segments could be observed through the different quality of acting  wes studi  cherokee actor who was so impressive as magua in the last of the mohicans  was perfect choice for geronimo  not only because he resembles geronimo  but because he induces a lot of passion in his role  contrary to him  we have disinterested actors who sleepwalk through the roles of his white enemies  while this could be expected from someone like jason patric  it is shame when we have veterans like gene hackman or robert duvall  even hills directing is bellow expectations  battle scenes are too short and  like in many of his late films  force viewers to ask what had happened to the great action director of 1970s  even his old associate  music composer ry cooder  disappoints  with the score that shifts between indian motives and classic  on the other hand  photography by lloyd ahern ii  with the use of red lenses  gives somewhat dreamy atmosphere  ideal for this movie that was supposed to be melancholic epic  all in all  compared with some of the hollywoods examples of political correctness  this film isnt so bad  but we are left with the unpleasant impression that it could have been better  
neg	aspiring broadway composer robert  aaron williams  secretly carries a torch for his best friend  struggling actor marc  michael shawn lucas   the problem is  marc only has eyes for  perfect 10s   which the geeky  insecure robert certainly is not  meanwhile  marcs spoiled  hetero  female roommate  cynthia  mara hobel   spends her days lying about their apartment and harrassing magazine editor tina brown  writerdirector victor mignattis  very romantic comedy   as the ad campaign states  is supposed to be  pardon the pun  a gay ol romp  but its hard to have much fun with these annoying  selfabsorbed characters and their shallow personal problems  marc and cynthia have sitcomlevel domestic  crises   such as trying to kill bugshow hilarious   robert and marc go to acting class  how riveting   the zaftig cynthia goes on eating binges  how original   but more than anything else  the three whine  constantly  marc whines about his turbulent romance with an apparent  10   david  hugh panaro   the hunky musician from across the way  robert whines about not being able to find the right guy  cynthia whines about having to find a job  horrors   the terrible trio whine their way to a happy ending that is wholly undeserved  add in overly broad performances and some laughable lipsynching by panaro  and youre left with one astonishing piece of cinematic damage  
neg	 easely one of the worst films of the year    with the millenium just around the corner  hollywood is playing with our insecurities concerning the biggest event of this century  this time it is arnold schwartzenegger against the powers of evil  the result is somewhat predictable  i didnt have high hopes about arnolds  much anticipated  return to the big screen  schwarzenegger fans will probably be pleased  action lovers wont be bored  and the catholic league will be angry  everyone else will see end of days for what it is  a deliciously bad motion picture  think of it as hollywoods own y2k bug  did you know that if you turn the three diabolical numbers 666 youll get 999  as in 1999  yes  you better believe it   satan is here on earth  working on his latest project  the end of days  this time it is gabriel burne who gets the privilege to play lucifer and  although not al pacino  he is fun to behold  he coolly strolls through manhattan in the borrowed body of an investment banker  wreaking  as they say  havoc  the way it works is he smirks and something explodes  before the stroke of the new millennium hes got to find and impregnate a certain woman in order to climb out from under a heavenly curse as spelled out in the book of revelations  only schwarzeneggers cop attached to an antiterrorist unit can stop him  films like this has one serious weakness  logic  no matter how you twist the  plot   youll find it incredibly stupid  even for a schwartzenegger movie    the incredible fact is that such directors never learn  after thousands of headless productions  this theme has become one big clich   here the devil looks more like a sex addicted maniac that has just got out of a mental institution  he is walking around n  y   blowing everything up and killing everyone that gets in a 5 meter radius  all he wants is the girl  that is somehow special  but schwartzenegger is more clever than he looks  he has hidden her in a church  where satan dare not enter  so the evil one is forced to seduce the good cop in order to get the valuable information   you can have your wife and daughter back   i can give you happiness that you can only dream of   just give me the address    indeed with a script like that  you could make a wonderful parody  but unfortunately the director is taking this subject very seriously  attempting to create a provoking an dramatic thriller  and for you who have awaited arnold swartzeneggers comeback  will not be very satisfied  weve not seen him in a while  thats because he didnt have a worthy opponent  he has battled nuclear terrorists on earth and power mad conspirators on mars  he has taken on alien predators in the darkest reaches of the jungle and morphing cyberkillers that seemingly nothing can stop  so  after all those fights  whats left for arnold schwarzenegger  how about satan  in my opinion  he has never quite overcome his first role as the deadly robot in camerons  terminator   and that is schwartzeneggers strength  muscles and no emotions  here he tries to achieve an artistic level  moving towards the oscar  this is called  an adult turn  if successful and  a flop  if unsuccessful  make a wild guess  his character has lost his wife and daughter and has serious drinking problems  this requires at least some acting skills  regrettably  the only thing convincing about old arnold is his muscles  the rest of the cast are struggling with their so called characters  the movie is otherwise technically impressive  with a solid cinematography and fine lighting  but the movie doesnt serve neither as a serious thriller  because of its stupidity  nor as comic entertainment  because of its serious tone   the only real comic relief in this film is when swartzenegger tries to cry  the action sequences are all recycled and the effects are everything but spectacular  so i really have a hard time recommending this film to somebody  unless you are a diehard schwartzenegger fan  stay away  as for schwarzenegger  hell be back  
neg	these days  people have rather short attention span and hardly anything can satisfy them for the long run  1970s nostalgia is already wearing off  and now  people are becoming more and more interested in 1980s  few years in the future  early 1990s are going to be regarded as next golden age of nostalgia  however  i doubt that people are going to be very nostalgic about the hollywood products of that period  one of the reason would surely be films like national lampoons loaded weapon 1  that  in many ways  symbolise the biggest problem of contemporary american film industry  lack of originality and ideas  being made as some kind of parody on lethal weapon series  this film pairs two l  a  policemen  jack colt  emilio estevez   burnout alcoholic cop on the edge  and wes luger  samuel l  jackson   bythebook policeman  days away from retirement  two of them  following the murder of lugers ex partner  must confront evil general mortars  william shatner   crime lord who is going to flood the market with cocaine stashed in wilderness girl cookies  the authors of this films  whose director  gene quintano  worked on such projects like third and fourth sequel of police academy  lacked any original idea before they undertook the projects  and that reflects in the lack plot  characters  and  even original lines  the plot  or what goes for the plot in this movie  is nothing more than a series of gags that make laugh of some popular films made in previous few years  apart from lethal weapon series  this film  borrows  its female lead from basic instinct   the best gags  are  same as with many other similar movies  shown in the trailers  the rest simply doesnt work  only those who used to watch a lot of hollywood products in that period would laugh  others would probably wince at the lameness of humour  some would be entertained by celebrity cameos that pop up every once in a while  but  at the end  spending hour and half in front of this disorganised mess of a movie is simply not worth the effort  the film was sometimes criticised for being the parody of a series that already had strong comic overtones  the authors of lethal weapon returned the favour by using the loaded weapon 1 joke in their fourth sequel  
neg	paul verhoeven  the dutch auteur who dragged his violent  sexually aggressive aesthetic into american film  has never been what id consider a thoughtful director  though some of his films  notably starship troopers  have been lauded as artistic achievements   but he is the kind of hollywood film maker whos managed to  no matter what the budget  make his films distinctive and even sometimes smuggle stimulating themes into the lavish high concepts on which he toils  starship troopers was essentially a bmonster movie remake of his enthralling dutch war film soldier of orange  a great film thats nearly impossible to find on video  yet showgirls is everywhere   in which he cast a troop of stunningly attractive mannequins  the square jawed casper van dien and denise richards  who may actually be 45 silicone   in what feels like an american propaganda picture set to monotonous scenes of graphic carnage  its not a completely successful film  but as a failure its certainly an interesting  and mostly entertaining  one  my favorite verhoeven films were the ones he made before he hit our shores  spetters  a dark near pornographic coming of age film set within the subculture of drag racing and the aforementioned soldier of orange  havent yet gotten around to seeing the 4th man or turkish delight   i believe his best hollywood film to be robocop  a bleak superhero satire with a robotic hero thats as touching as schwarzeneggers in t2  that movie was violent but not in the overdone cartoonish manner of more recent verhoeven pics  its violence seemed to be there for a purpose  namely to create an atmosphere of unpredictable dread  not to simply titillate an attention deprived audience  theres a jawdropping scene within the first ten minutes of robocop wherein the lead villain toys with a cop before snuffing him  he tortures the officer by taking glee in his victims every fearful tic  its a startling moment of barbaric  maddening violence that effectively sets the tone for the film that could be designated as splatter punknoir  in hollow man kevin bacon brutally slays a dog because it just wont shut up  he impales a coworker  drowns another and so on  but why  his character is introduced as a smug genius  the kind whos always impeccably dressed and races a sports car while generic rock tunes blare from his stereo for the world to hear  sort of like a scheming uber villain from dallas or melrose place  though once the character becomes invisible  this film has him pull a 180 shift into a psychotic movie monster  the kind who just wont die  hollow mans protagonists are the completely bland but beautiful scientist linda  elizabeth shue  acting as if she were rebecca of sunnybrook farm  and her lover  a hunk of beef scientist played by josh brolin whos saddled with the films worst lines   ive lost cohesion again     theyre a typical aaron spelling couple  goodlooking but as vacant as george w  bushs republican national convention speech  i  e  bush referring to clinton      so much promise    but to what end  to what end    this actually got applause  suddenly warren beatty doesnt look so absurd   the rest of the films characters are all well past thirty  though act like annoying high school party animals insulting one and other with a series of strained oneliners  is it just me or have labored insults become big budget hollywoods new character developing technique  ahh  what a cynical time we live in    as the picture opens we meet cain  kevin bacon   an egocentric scientist working with the crew of aforementioned irritating scientists on a top secret  so top secret the government has only provided them with a dilapidated warehouse in which to perform their extensive experimentations  project with the goal to make invisibility a possibility  for what purpose is never hinted at   theyve performed several experiments on animals and have nearly solved the quandary causing caine  in a twist worthy of the films 1950s late show origins  to impulsively experiment on himself  caine neglects to let the pentagon in on his plans and somehow gets two of his coworkers to lie for him so the rest of the crew will think the pentagon gave the go ahead  our mad scientist is turned invisible  after several fxheavy complications   then he inexplicably  its hinted that the process of invisibility has made the animals into more savage creatures  but this is never explored  and if that was the case why the hell would anyone be stupid enough to test this out on a human   begins raping  assaulting and murdering anyone he pleases  always with a lame wisecrack ready a la freddy krueger  it grows abundantly clear with each new release that its verhoevens films that have become hollow  like the rest  this one is cold  heartless  and full of contempt for humanity  but in addition to all that it lacks any trace of wit  insight and makes no statement other than  audiences will pay for anything these days   its an affront to anyone looking for something stimulating on an intellectual level  or even those hoping to spend a saturday night with a fun  thrillaminute ride  verhoeven has instead served up an utterly routine mad slasher flick with nobody to root for and no reason to care  the previews make hollow man look like an irresistible flick  how can one not have a good time at a film that utilizes state of the art fx to illustrate an invisible man getting down and dirty with his bad self  a couple weeks ago  after seeing the trailer  a bunch of friends and i got into a long discussion of how invisible man flicks never go so far as to have the invisible individual indulging in their newfound ability  hollow man looked like the first film to do so and whoa  in a serious manner to boot  but oh yeah  it is directed by paul verhoven not atom egoyan or peter greenway  verhoeven delivers the sleazy  goods   but not in a watchable or thrillingly disturbing manner  here it just feels icky and uncomfortable  the director keeps his camera trained at his nubile actresses  caressing their breasts with his lens all while fauxpsycho music strains in the background  its plainly obvious that verhoeven isnt exploring voyeurism  like in the classic peeping tom  but exploiting it and not even doing that very well  its funny that with all the technology 90 million can get you verhoven is stuck at trying to figure out how to show a womans naked breast manipulated by an invisible hand  most vexing is that the invisibility aspect is used simply as gimmick in yet another slasher movie wherein characters do stupid things just so the villain can pop up for more attacks  in fact its largely irrelevant that bacon is invisible since  by the end  most of his potential victims don inferred glasses that track his body heat  as in every mad slasher film we get the killers pov  a scene where he spies on his neighbor while she undresses triggered unpleasant memories of slumber party massacre   and lots of scenes where people are unknowingly stalked  the film only provides one moment that i found genuinely creepy  it happens when a lab assistant  kim dickens  who looks like she stepped out of playboy  in the middle of a chit chat with an invisible bacon  suddenly pauses   are you looking at me    she queries  obviously haunted  its a little moment in a big film with nothing to offer but ground breaking special effects set to a plot that should have run its course by 1982  the apex of the mad slasher craze   those special effects are so stunning they alone keep this from being as bad as urban legend or i still know what you did last summer  and theyre the only reason to check out hollow man  preferably as a midweek bargain rental  youve been warned  but you probably wont listen  will you  tis a pity    
neg	fact that charles bronson represents one of the most important movie icons of the 1980s represents one of the biggest and almost tragic ironies of that decade  tragedy lies in the fact that the icon status was earned less by quality of his work in movies  but the quantity  most of those movies were produced by cannon group  company led by israeli producers menahem golan and yoram globus  those two men probably thought that they could be the next roger corman  b movie mentors of future hollywood legends  unfortunately  that didnt happened  and when cannon finally went bankrupt at the end of the decade  behind it stood the huge pile of cinematic garbage  that would require at least few centuries before it reaches the camp appeal  sadly for bronson  that garbage also contained numerous movies in which that capable character actor and action hero of the 1970s tried to raise their worth simply by being the main lead  and lowering his own reputation in process  on the other hand  bronson could take comfort in a fact that those movies were extremely popular  especially among the audience 3 or 4 times younger than bronson himself  one of such movies that seriously marred bronsons reputation is death wish 3  third sequel in the series which began with death wish in 1974  in the original movie  bronson played paul kersey  mildmannered new york architect who turns into deadly street vigilante after his family fell victim to urban violence  that movie was far from masterpiece  yet  in it the director michael winner was skillfully offering the cinematic remedy for very real disease of growing crime rates of the time  on the same lines like siegel in dirty harry   unfortunately  six years later cannon group got rights to the character of paul kersey and began destroying it by pumping out sequels  even the presence of its original director didnt stop the rapid decline of the quality  death wish 3 begins when kersey comes to visit an old friend  living in the urban wasteland of east new york  populated by young criminals and people too old or too poor to move out  before the reunion  kerseys friend falls victim to the street gang led by evil fraker  played by gavan oherlihy  probably the only noteworthy role in the film   kersey decides to avenge his death and slowly prepares for his crusade  while the police inspector shriker  ed lauter   ants to use him as a secret weapon in his losing war against the urban crime  bronson  the main asset in this movie  plays the character who is nothing more than an efficient killing machine  although bronsons charisma does help in overcoming some implausibilities  single man in his 60s and armed with a single pistol manages to wipe out dozens of opponents with superior firepower   the lack of emotions or bronsons own commitment could be seen in a very few lines spoken in a film  the movie authors were somewhat aware of that emotional shallowness  so they added romantic interest for their hero  public defender played by deborah raffin and conveniently terminated in order to give some more motives for kerseys crusade  on the other hand  emotions are much better played by confronting lawabiding  yet ethnically stereotyped citizens with their daily nemesis of street punks  ruthless enough to exercise their reign of terror on the entire city blocks  and stupid enough to be killed in droves by kersey  unfortunately  michael winner doesnt know how to work out the plot  and after torturing the viewers with mostly uninteresting characters and cliched and formulaic situations  ends this movie with a bang  the big showdown at the end  that turns east new york into the sarajevolike battle zone  is probably the worst part of the movie  because of the poor editing and the cheap sets and props that give away the low budget  in short  this movie could be recommended only to the most fanatical charles bronson fans or for the people who are already desperate for 1980s nostalgia   special note for trekkies  marina sirtis  the actress who played counsellor deanna troi in star trek  the next generation could be spotted in a small role of portorican wife   
neg	overblown remake of the 1963 robert wise film of the same name  based on shirley jacksons novel  the haunting of hill house   stars lili taylor as one of three  lab rats  that participate in a supposed  insomnia  study being initiated by liam neeson  he is actually conducting a study on the causes of fear and why the human mind is still affected by it  he drags the test subjects out to a foreboding mansion where all types of  creepy  cgi effects scare the cast and try the audiences patience  i know this question has been posed before  but why do people keep remaking good movies  the original was a great psychological horror film  this new version is dull and very decidedly not scary  in fact  i feel it is downright impossible to make a modern day pg13 horror movie that is scary  unless you find obvious computer generated special effects frightening  then theres nothing in this film that will raise hackles  i nearly fell asleep twice during the film  and probably would have if they guy two rows behind me didnt seem to have such a personal relationship with the characters that he felt he needed to discuss every decision they made with them as the film progressed  its sad to see such an amazing cast wasted so badly  owen wilson spends most of the film wandering the halls of the house  and the script does no justice to his wonderful comic ability  catherine zetajones  always nice to look at  is given the woefully underwritten role of a bisexual insomniac that gets to run out of her bedroom perplexed every time some strange noise occurs  liam neeson pops in from time to time to talk into his tape recorder and attempt to convince the others that he has as much knowledge about whats going on as the rest of them do  finally  poor lili taylor  the center of the film  gets the brunt of the cgi effects thrown at her while everyone else gets to scream and try to rescue her  apparently  a subplot involving a tryst between zetajones and taylors characters was filmed but removed  thats too bad  because it might have lent some better characterization to the narrative  this is jan de bonts second straight misfire  speed 2  cruise control being the first   when is he going to learn that bigger is not always necessarily better  robert wise knew that when he made the original and the makes of the blair witch project also knew that  one should not approach a haunted house movie with a twister mindset  if de bont and screenwriter david self had let our minds fill in the blanks as to what was happening instead of showing us everything  it would have served to make the film terrifying  what our mind fashions on its own can be a thousand times more frightening than having having it completely led towards everything  apparently  yet another version of this story is being filmed under its original title  i certainly hope that this newer rendition will not be hurt by the insanity of jan de bonts version and that it will retain the psychological impact that the original release had  pg13 
neg	 tarzan and the lost city  is one of the most anemic movies to come out in quite a while  not only it is poorly written  badly acted  and generally incompetent in all cinematic areas  it is thoroughly uninspired and insipid  unfortunately  its not bad in the way great  colossal misfires like  heavens gate   1980  or  ishtar   1987  were bad  instead  it literally drips off the screen like a movie nobody wanted to be associated with  which begs the question of why it was made in the first place  with all the good scripts lying around hollywood unproduced  how does needless drek like this make its way to the big screen  of course  tarzan is one of the most filmed characters in all of motion picture history  he has appeared in over forty films  which have ranged from the very good  1984s  greystoke  the legend of tarzan  lord of the apes   down to the really bad  1981s  tarzan  the ape man  with bo derek   most of these films were just cheapie bmovies made in the thirties and forties  starring exolympic athletes and a lot of cutsie chimps  therefore  if another tarzan movie is to be made  one might assume that it would have something new to offer  a different angle  an original storyline  anything to set it apart from all the others   greystoke  added a neverbeforeseen level of realism to the pulpy tale  and even  tarzan  the ape man  at least had the misguided audacity to sexualize the story as a vehicle for bo dereks bare breasts   tarzan and the lost city   on the other hand  has absolutely nothing to offer but a bunch of recycled storylines and bad dialogue  the script  by bayard johnson and j  anderson black is about as formulaic and generic as they come  comic books have better plots than this  the movie is so bad  in fact  that it retains that ridiculous tarzan call that was so tirelessly mocked in last summers comedy  george of the jungle   didnt the producers think to leave that back in the old weissmuller pictures where it belongs  the story starts with the legend of tarzan already firmly established  a quick opening narration tells of tarzan  casper van dien  being found in the jungle after having been raised by apes  and his return to england where he assumes his greystoke heritage  when the movie starts in 1913  he is a civilized english gentleman  without an english accent   and he is to marry jane  jane march  in less than a week  however  when a wicked archeologistgraverobber named nigel ravens  steve waddington  begins hunting for the fabled lost city of opar  one of africas last great secrets  the witch doctor of an ancient african tribe summons tarzan back to the jungle  at first  jane refuses to go  pouting about how it will interfere with their wedding  but after tarzan leaves she changes her mind and tracks him down  therefore assuring lots of lame smooch scenes between her and her apeman  once the film gets going  in its own sluggish way   it delves into a series of jungle adventures  as tarzan  jane  and the natives attempt the thwart ravens and his crew from discovering the city  most of the socalled adventures are cheesy  predictable  and unexciting  with no pace  tension  or action to speak of  there are sequences stolen from innumerable recent adventure movies  ranging from  raiders of the lost ark   1981  to  the goonies   1985   when the movie is running short on action  it includes a few greenpeacefriendly scenes of tarzan freeing caged animals  releasing a baby elephant from a trap  and throwing ivory tusks into the river  the movie is also lacking even a remote hint of reality  for instance  when tarzan  who was raised in the jungle  is bit by a cobra  he doesnt even attempt to suck the venom out like any semiexperienced weekend backpacker would do  instead  he ties a tourniquet around his arm and stumbles off into the jungle with no plan for survival  of course  one cant help but notice how fundamentally misleading the title is  not to ruin the ending or anything  but there is no lost city  there is  however  a lost pyramid  which i suppose is all the resourcestrapped fx department could come up with  the special effects are not worthy of a madefortv movie   which also brings up the question of why the treasure hunters had to slog through numerous underground caverns to get to the lost pyramid  when its sitting right out in the middle of an open field  strictly speaking   tarzan and the lost city  isnt even bad enough to have camp quality  although casper van diens laughably stiff performance comes real close  this movie proves what  starship troopers  only hinted at  he cannot act  but he sure looks wellgroomed  even in the deepest heart of the african jungle  van dien is much too much of a prettyboy to be an effective tarzan  hes a calvin klein model in a loin cloth  i also wondered what the makeup department was thinking when it outfitted him with that awful circa1983 steve perry haircut  waddington makes a decent villain  although hes like a charmless version of belloq from  raiders of the lost ark   as jane  the exmodel jane march has little to do but smile and look pretty next to tarzan  she does fire off a gun at the evil treasure hunters a time or two  but whenever a snake comes into the picture  she is reduced to a hysterical mess  however  amidst all this complaining  i do have one piece of good news   tarzan and the lost city  is so lacking in ideas both new and old  that it is unable to fill even an hour and a half of celluloid  so  we can say this much for it  at least it had the decency to be short  
neg	everything in the phantom you have seen many times before and there is nothing new presented here  wincer displays absolutely no skill in setting up an exciting action sequence  billy zane is wooden as the hero  kristy swanson is given very little to do  and does very little with it  treat williams  looking like rhett butler but sounding like mickey mouse  is one of the worst villains i have ever seen in a movie  only catherine zeta jones  as one of williams cohorts turns in a good performance  she has energy and spunk  which the movie needed much more of  oh yeah  the phantom also has a secret identity but this is so poorly played out you wont even care  about the only things i can recommend are a good performance by jones  and some colorful scenery  however  if youre looking for a fun family movie  go watch the underrated flipper  this is not a good movie  
neg	a life less ordinary  r  while the extremely peculiar a life less ordinary does live up to its title  a more appropriate moniker would be a movie more misguided  for this confused  confusing attempt at romantic comedy is a most disarming disaster from the talented trainspotting team of director danny boyle  producer andrew macdonald  and screenwriter john hodge  at the core of this strange film is a fairly basicand  yes  ordinarypremise  after robert  boyle regular ewan mcgregor   an aspiring writer of trashy novels  is fired from his janitorial job at the naville corporation  he kidnaps navilles  ian holm  spoiled daughter celine  cameron diaz  and holds her for ransom  the joke here is that celine is a willing victimher father threatened to cut her off financially  so she wants revengeand that she soon becomes not only an accomplice but the brains behind the scheme  teaching the inept robert a thing or two about kidnapping    and  ultimately  didnt we see this one coming    love  so far  so mediocre  but mediocre is better than dreadful  which this film is  thanks in no small part to the hodges contextual frame for the romance  it turns out that god is displeased with the divorce and romantic breakup rate on earth  so the chief of heavens police  gabriel  dan hedaya  dispatches two angels  oreilly  holly hunter  and jackson  delroy lindo   to earth to hook up celine and robertor lose their angel status  this conceit might have worked if the angel dimension played an integral role in the entire picture  but it could have easily been cut without any clear loss to the film  as it stands  it is simply a waste of time that distracts from the romance at hand  not that there is much of a romance to begin with  try as diaz and mcgregor may  celine and robert are too onenote to become very endearing characters  celine is rich bitch  robert is a dullard  as such  it is quite hard for the audience to really connect with these twothen again  they never seem to really connect with each other  when celine and robert start to overtly act on their  feelings   it comes off more like something scripted than anything natural  but i am not exactly sure if boyle and companys point was romance  honestly  i am not exactly sure what they were trying to accomplish  boyle juices up the visuals with his characteristic razzmatazz  but it remains just thatenergy  not energy in service of a story or even acting  the cast seems lost  especially hunter  whose performance is so adrift as to be baffling  and then there are the many eccentricities splattered onto the film  some violent confrontations involving the angels  who are not exactly angelicin fact  they end up staging their own ransom scheme  some mystical hokum in the climax  and a cutesy claymation epilogue  watching much of a life less ordinary is like being trapped in indie hipster hell  stockpiling quirks in the name of cool  instead  the film just gives quirky a bad name  my best guess as to what the filmmakers wanted to accomplish is an atmosphere of warped womantic  yes  misspelling intended  whimsy  which comes through in only one scene  an extended musical number where celine and robert sing  beyond the sea  at a karaoke bar  after a verse or two  the couple are magically dolled up in snazzy outfits and hairdos  and engage in a spirited dance routine on the counter  the scene works not only because of its relative simplicity but also because it does not try too hard  just relying on the innate charm of the leads  allowing them to build a romantic rapport  alas  not nearly enough is built  for this moment comes to an abrupt end  i applaud any attempt to bring something fresh and unique to movie houses  but sometimes even cleverness can reach overkill  a life less ordinary certainly delivers something  different   but by the time the film was over  i was clamoring for a life more ordinary   i can accept failure  everyone fails at something  but i cant accept not trying  it doesnt matter if you win as long as you give everything in your heart   michael jordan 
neg	how could a grated disney film based on meg cabots novel  the princess diaries  be anything but cute  harmless fun  easy  take all the cute  harmless fun out of it  and while youre at it make it borrrring  thats what director garry marshall  screenwriter gina wendkos and  not to be outdone  producer whitney houston have done with the grated disney film  the princess diaries   you couldnt tell it from the audience though  a braintree  mass  of growing  glowing prepubescent girls  and the odd parental  popcorn perched about their persons   who positively cheered when the end credits rolled  ah the film had struck a lovely nerve with them but not with fuddyduddy old me   well  i might have cheered that the utter tripe was now well and truly over  but that would have been too obvious  too obvious is the least of the problems with marshalls film  garry made a couple of other  princess  movies  pretty woman  and  runaway bride  but this ones way without julia roberts so maybe  thats  its problem   in addition to being predictable as molasses   the princess diaries  has hardly got a laugh in it  its a comedy   could bore the pants off an abyssinian for long  long stretches  and is so sloppily edited the principals refer to scenes we havent even seen yet  and probably never will except  perhaps  in the dvd edition   marshall should take virtually all of the blame here  since hes been at this for some time and should know when a scene or two isnt working    and hardly  any  of  the princess diaries  works   works   alas  implies cleverness and theres none of that here either   newcomer anne hathaway stars as mia thermopolis  a bright but socially invisible san franciscan teen who learns that her single mom  a wacky artist played by the likable caroline goodall  had a bit of a fling with some royal member of some miniscule european country nobody ever heard of  the filmmakers go out of their way  not  to call it serbia  which is pretty much what all miniscule european countries are called in the movies mark my words  and now she  mia  is next in line to rule  genovia   hence the headphonestiara combo in the print ads   julie andrews  with the luminous factor cranked to 11  plays mias grandmother  aka queen clarisse renaldi   who shows up out of the royal blue and lends mia much advice and direction in the eating  talking  and looking like a princess department  although mias big makeover simply transforms her from ugly duckling to ugly swan   does queen julie lose her dignity for the sake of a good laugh  not really  consuming a corn dog is about the worst that it gets  also on stereotypical hand are a brainless jock  an evil cheerleader  a dorkylooking best friend   welcome to the dollhouse  s heather matarazzo   a sensitive auto mechanicmusician  and marshall mainstay hector elizondo as joe the driver  imparting wit and wisdom from the front seat of mias chauffeurdriven limousine at every intersection  a nonanimated grated movie is a rarity these days but the rating here reflects the fact that all the guts  all the good stuff  has been exorcised from the finished product  lame  labored  and lamentable   the princess diaries  is recommended for eightandahalf year olds of the feminine persuasion  only   all others would do well to avoid it  like potholes  the plague  and  the perfect storm    
neg	the corruptor is a big silly mess of an action movie  complete with pointless plot turns and gratuitous violence  its not abhorrent  or even blatantly unlikable  but it doesnt make a shred of sense  and whose idea was it to have the director of glengarry glen ross direct an action film  james foley knows a lot about characters and acting  and those are the strengths of the corruptor  but the quiet scenes clash with the ludicrous action nonsense  and the result is less like a movie and more like a derailed train  at least we have chow yunfat in the lead role  chow plays nick chen  a chinatown cop  hes a good cop  as the first few scenes establish  and hes very familiar with chinatown  thats probably why the powersthatbe decide to team him up with a rookie named danny wallace  mark wahlberg   nick and danny begin by stepping on each others toes  but finally end up liking each other once they both get a chance to save the other ones life  what happens after that is kind of a mystery to me  im fairly certain that the villains are all part of the fukienese dragons  led by a young chinese psycho named bobby vu  byron mann   im also pretty sure that nick is on the payroll of henry lee  ric young   a gangster dealing in prostitutes and other neat stuff  im not quite sure why henry lee decides to employ danny  although this makes for some ridiculous  albeit unpredictable  plot twists along the way  theres also an interesting subplot revolving around dannys father  brian cox   but it doesnt have much to do with the main story  one of the problems  as i said  is that the movie doesnt make any sense  i dont blame this entirely on foley  because hes obviously a good director  im more inclined to point my finger at robert puccis script  which doesnt seem to be in tune to the way normal people act  one scene early on had me particularly annoyed  nick confronts his boss because hes angry about his new white partner  hes shouting and pointing his finger and stepping on the furniture  and i was thinking that i would have fired him if he had done that to me   in addition  the film takes a bite into racerelated issues  and never develops them at all   there are a lot of scenes like this one  and none of them are very coherent  theres also a considerable language barrier  given that chow and some of the other actors have thick chinese accents  the plot itself never straightens out  im not sure who or what the fukienese dragons are  or why henry lee is associated with them  or what they do as a group  the corruptor is an action movie  and so all these weird plot developments are decorated with loud and violent action sequences  the sequences arent bad  but theyre not new  how many car chases through chinatown have you seen  on that note  how many chinatown cop movies have you seen  one too many  id imagine  foleys strength is clearly in characterization  and he does a pretty good job here  the scenes between nick and danny are very good  and i actually got a feel for their characters  a bond forms between them that holds parts of the film together  chow and wahlberg are both good actors  chow is a pro  and can do this kind of stuff in his sleep  wahlberg seems less at home in this atmosphere  but hes still fun to watch  i also liked the subplot involving dannys father  brian coxs performance is powerful  and his character makes a compelling moral compass for danny  but the film ultimately fails  mostly at the hands of insane incoherence and overlyfamiliar action scenes  a complicated plot can be successful  but the story needs to make sense when its over  the corruptor never manages to make any sense  it just keeps spinning out of control until  finally  theres nothing left to hold on to  
neg	 return to horror high   wants to be a couple different types of movies at once  the film tells the story of a lowbudget horror movie being filmed at the closeddown crippen high  a school where a group of serial murders took place five years before  but what the cast and crew dont know is that a real killer  maybe the same one that was never apprehended  is going into action again  on one level   return to horror high  is a slasher movie  and it is at this level that it works the best on  watching the film  which was made in 1987  i couldnt help but take notice that the killers costume was almost identital to that of the ghostface in   scream   and  scream 2   on another level  the film wants to be a slapstick comedy  and there are many hints of this throughout  unfortunately  most of these jokes fall flat  and the last thing the film wants to be is a  behindthescenes  look at an exploitation film being made  the only problem is that  while much of it is supposed to be from the movie itself being made  no cameras are shown filming it  thus making it far more confusing than it had to be  and to top it all off  the  twist  ending makes very little to no sense whatsoever  and so we are basically left with feeling as if we wasted our time  there are story developments that are beyond ludicrous  and plot holes you could drive a winnebago through  if you see the film  or have seen it  youll know what i mean  the premise of  return to horror high   is admittedly pretty crafty  and i liked the atmosphere of the school  which is where the whole thing takes place  but director froehlich  judging from this movie  is an incompetent director  except for being able to film the seldom suspeneful scene  well  come to think of it  there is only one scene that is actually scary  and it has to do with two actors being locked in a room as the killer tries to break in  but other than that twominute distraction   return to horror high   is certainly no great shake  note  look for george clooney in a supporting role as one of the actors on the film  and strangely enough  he is the first character to get the ax    literally  
neg	the art of woo attempts to be one of those films like breakfast at tiffanys in which the audience is rooting for some sweet  vulnerable  irresistible woman to work out her problems and to find happiness  the problem is that helen lee who writes and directs seems to have written alessa woo  played by sookyin lee  as neither sweet nor vulnerable and she is quite resistible  alessa is a young woman who happens to be a brilliant art dealer in the toronto art scene  this is some sort of alternate world art scene where people pay tens of thousands of dollars for paintings by talented beginners and dealers in these paintings fly back and forth to places like switzerland  one of the most knowledgeable of the art dealers is alessa  she also happens to be the center of adulation of her friends and every party has suitors camped outside her window  next door to alessa moves struggling genius artist and native american ben crowchild  adam beach   he sees that behind the facade that there is really a sad little girl within alessa who really will not be happy with the rich art collector she is dating  ben gets emotionally involved with alessa   as alessa so delicately puts it   we were bosom buddies  now were fuck buddies    but alessa will have to decide whether she wants love with ben or wealth with her rich suitor  the real problem with the film seems to be helen lees inability to decide what she wants to be saying  she undercuts nearly everything she wants us to believe about alessa  alessa is looking for financial security but she makes decisions about large sums of money for her clients  this appears to be a high profile and wellpaid job  we are supposed to care about alessas feelings  but she coldly refuses to visit her own ailing father  alessa cannot be portrayed as sweet and vulnerable if at an art auction she turns into our man flint  this is a charmless romantic comedy that bets everything it has on the appeal of its main character and comes up doublezero  i rate it a 3 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 1 on the 4 to 4 scale  
neg	capsule  a science fiction allegory  at the millennium a lethal contagious virus has hit taiwan  officials have cut off water and other services to the center of contagion  life there devolves and degenerates  a man in an apartment has a hole in his floor and with it harasses his downstairs neighbor  a slow but harrowing film to be missed if possible   low 1  4 to 4   the taiwan virus is ravaging taiwan and the part of the city that is the center of the contagion has been evacuated of anyone who will go  one apartment building still houses people  a woman  formerly an office worker   yang kueimei  is tormented by her upstairs neighbor  lee kangsheng  who has a hole cut by a plumber in the floor and is using it as a drain  neighbor runs a small failing grocery store   to make things more depressing  it is constantly raining hard   upstairs neighbor vomits through  pours water  etc  a small and almost entirely onesided war starts  allegory about callousness and selfishness   woman is living on a pile of rolls of toilet tissue   incongruous songs added to show downstairs neighbors dreams  these are the songs of popular taiwanese singer grace chang   apartment is falling apart  wallpaper is separating from walls  plumbing is failing   boredom shown by long cuts in which nothing happens  a lot of film seems to be used up   this story might have been done much better as a tenminute animated film   stars are considered to be great dramatic actors by one reviewer   this film seems longer at 95 minutes most twohour films  
neg	seen december 2  1997 at 6  50 p  m  at the glenwood movieplex cinemas  oneida  ny   theater 3  by myself for free  free pass   theater rating      good seats  sound  and picture there are many philosophies as to why we are so fascinated with cartoons  they provide a method of total escapism in which anything will work within their context  from the outrageous slapstick of looney tunes to the intensity of japanimation  watching  flubber  really clinched this idea for me  because its just a live action cartoon that presents itself as a regular comedy  it proves how painfully unfunny all those gags and slapstick would be in reality  and how important it is to actually have a story  the film wastes no time in establishing its lighthearted  cartoony atmosphere  we meet medfield college chemistry professor phillip brainard  williams   the typical  supposedly likable mad scientist  within the first 10 minutes we get at least a half dozen jokes about how forgetful he is  phillips memory loss seems less like a cartoony gag and more like a real case of alzhiemers disease  isnt this rather lowbrow comedy  he starts teaching chemistry after walking in on a nude figure drawing class  an inappropriate joke for a kids movie if i ever saw one   we learn he has stood his up fiancee  sara  harden   twice at the altar simply because hes forgotten  sara claims to love him  but says if he forgets the wedding again shell stop loving him  a sign of childish attitude the film denies it has   but even cartoons must have conflicts to resolve  and its no surprise the major conflicts here are related  christopher mcdonald does and even worse version of his usual villain shtick as wilson croft  a scientist who not only wants to steal phillips ideas  but his woman too  whats worse is that sara actually seems interested in him  wilson works for a rival college that wants to buy out medfield  which is going broke  unless phillip can invent something to save the day  one of the first rules of filmmaking is to make sure the title has something to do with the film  the flubber is played for gags after it is introduced  but is all but forgotten about thereafter  its obvious phillip is going to accidentally invent flubber  a flying rubber compound that yields tremendous energy  and the promotions make the flubber look realistic and funny  unfortunately  the flubber  like all the special effects in this film  looks very fake and unconvincing  flubber also seems to have intelligence and a personality  and by the time it performs a song and dance routine  you give up wondering how life could spontaneously come to an inanimate object  most of the film wanders aimlessly as it relies on the flubber to make for the comedy  since phillips absentmindedness is forgotten about  and somehow push the story along  but its clear how weak this premise is from the getgo and the film just gets worse  all the jokes involve people getting hit by fastmoving  flubberpowered objects including  bowling balls  flying cars that dont fly well  and a basketball team capable of jumping 100 feet into the air  its all presented with complete logic  and no one believes flubber exists even when they see it with their own eyes  during the basketball scene  the coach for the rival team actually says   i think they might be cheating   to which the referee replies   theres no rules about jumping too high    predictable  doesnt begin to describe the motions the film goes through  especially after the halfway point  and its not how terribly contrived the plot is  its the way its broken down scenebyscene  with absolutely no transition  not only that  but all the actors here  especially williams  seem bored to tears  id say 80 percent of all the scenes were shot with a bluescreen  so its almost forgivable when you realize theyre talking to nothing and interacting with nothing  its safe to say everything that could be bad about  flubber  is  the only original element the film has is the worlds first romance between a machine and a human  but this aspect is quite twisted if you think about it  and  like the rest of the film  you wont  
neg	plot  a downandout girl moves in with some overthetop models and falls in love with a goofybutloveable guy from across the street  aaaaaaaaah  then one day  she sees him knock a woman upside the head with a baseball bat  ooooooooh  she must then join together with her modelfriends to find out whether or not this guy is really goofybutloveable  or a psycho killer  aaaaaaaaah  critique  completely idiotic  okay  so maybe im being a little too nice  this movie starts off dumb  moves into the ridiculous and eventually graduates to idiocy  there    thats more like it  and how  you may ask  well  its simple really  four of the dumbest stereotypical models in the world  oh my god  i just found out that the actresses playing the parts are models in real life    yipes   join monica potter  in a role which can only be described as an obvious cry for help  and freddie prinze jr   not the actor  but the character better known as freddie prinze jr    in a plot so stupid and farfetched  that you have to wonder once more  how crap like this gets by the hollywood bigwigs  this thing stinks to highheaven  its just plain embarrassing for everyone involved  i even felt my iq dip below its usual low as toilet humor somehow worked its way into this socalled romanticcomedyaction movie  ugh  what a pile of dung  hey  im actually starting to sound a little like harry knowles here  but i guess i could see where his frustration comes from time to time  its sad really  a movie which actually had quite a few people in my audience laughing at its idiocy  including the overused  folks hiding in the bathroom while someone else comes in to take a crap and fart  gag  and how about that dumb blonde model who keeps running into things  pure hilarity  or maybe im just too jaded  too much of a critic  not relaxed enough to enjoy this fluffpiece    uuuhhmmm    naaaaah   this movie sucks the big one  its chockfull of stupid characters delivering inane dialogue fitting snuggly into a preposterous plot  this is the kind of movie that has one character inserting another character into a car headfirst to the floor only because    well  its supposed to be funny  see  you see  that person then has their legs swinging in the other persons face as they drive and that distracts the driver  see  and well  thats kinda funny  no  harumph    yeah  well    you get the picture  anyhoo  freddie prinze jr     nuff said  monica potter  a bad career move  but we might forgive you if you keep up the julia roberts bit  the rest of the model girls    well  thanks for being there so i had something to look at  but please apologize to the entire modeling community as a whole  for making them all out to be complete imbeciles   so why the three points out of ten  you may ask  well  its simple really  one point goes to the russian model girl and that cool accent  dont ask me why  but it actually turned me on   one point goes out to all of the model girls for being in the movie  nice window decoration    natch    and one last point goes out to the makers of this film  who spared us any long sorted story  and made sure to give us the opportunity of leaving the theatre after only 90 minutes of manufactured garbage  so that we could run out as fast as we can  grab the next person that we see walking down the street and warn them of the devil that is    freddie prinze jr    i mean  head over heels  youve been warned  good people  ps  didja notice how i didnt even mention rear window once in my entire review  i didnt want to taint the memory of the classic flick by having it uttered alongside this thing  but then again  i just did mention it  but i guess it doesnt count in the ps section    or does it  ooooh  whatever    i have a headache   i think my brain is coming back to life  wheres joblo coming from  10 things i hate about you  710   coyote ugly  6  510   down to you  6  510   save the last dance  710   shes all that  6  510   the wedding planner  410   youve got mail  5  510  
neg	for those interested in the true spirit of moviemaking  or whats left of it in mainstream hollywood  movie which are star vehicles are terrible things  as a rule  the ignore general principles of cinema because they are not made to advance the media but rather to advance the career of a particular actor  an actor might be chosen on the upandup  to give him exposure  or he might be chosen on the way down to hand him a paycheck  generally  though  the actor doesnt matter  and soldier  the latest from the beleaguered warner brothers  exemplifies this  the picture lacks pizazz  the star for the vehicle in this case is kurt russell  otherwise known as the man of thirty words or less  russell plays todd  a human trained from birth in the ways of waging war and becoming emotionally distanced from the carnage he has wrought  the movie lets us see this degenerate process  but by the time the real plot starts  were into todds later years  hes about to be replaced by a new breed of soldiers  ones who  instead of being trained  from  birth  are genetically selected  before  birth  the pride of this class  caine 607  jason scott lee   will be our villain  and you know hes the villain because he has a staring contest with our hero near the movies start  between the two leads  less than a full typed page of dialogue is spoken  and its possible to imagine a script which is ninety percent stage direction  director paul anderson  who helmed last years icy thriller  event horizon  doesnt show any inventiveness here and instead is content to let the actions play out on screen ad nauseam  todd  upon being replaced  is left to die on a garbage planet  but in order to stretch the running time out  the villains return to the garbage planet on a  routine patrol  and set the stage for the final firefight  events are predictable from the time that the setups are made  and neither anderson nor scriptwriter david peoples attempts to show any creativeness here  the most annoying plot facet is the reason that the whole of the movie comes to be  todd fails to show physical superiority against caine  in fact  not even todd and two of his companions can best the baddie  but near the end of the movie he shows remarkable prowess with automatic weaponry  its not as though todd undergoes any significant character changes throughout the plot of the story  and so the plot has a very canned feeling about it  the best route through this disaster is to take it lighthearted in spirit  and treat it as a parody of typical action fare  like universal soldier  a strict interpretation  however  reveals an unmistakeable and unforgiveable lack of style  class  or substance  and by next year  a large percentage of the people who have seen this will have taped it off of network television  
neg	director doug ellins kissing a fool  released earlier this year  is an aptly titled comedy about two plastic couples housed in an artificial story  like a sitcom with jokes so lame that it would be impossible to overlay a laugh track on it  the movie meanders along insulting the viewers intelligence in almost every frame  the script by james frey and the director is filled with vapid actors who read meaningless lines youve heard before    im not wearing any underwear   the bimbo tells the famous sportscaster  max  in what she assumes will be a surefire comeon line   max  chicagos biggest playboy  decides to get married after a whirlwind love affair with sam  short for samantha  max and sam possess two irritating personalities  and they hold little chemistry for each other or the audience  max is played without any style by david schwimmer  schwimmer  whose acting talent is playing characters devoid of personality  makes an unlikely lover  his costar  mili avital as sam  is cut from the same cloth  so they can be argued to be a matched pair  after all  people of the same intelligence are naturally drawn to each other  ditto for similar looks  so why shouldnt the personalitychallenged be attracted  the implausible plot has max asking his best friend  jay  jason lee   to hit on sam as a test  jay is supposed to try to get her to sleep with him  but stop short of the actual act  max  being promiscuous by nature  worries that his future bride may have the same need to sleep around as he does  the idea of flirting with the beautiful sam makes jay so sick that he becomes unable to eat or work  neither the script nor the actors make this test believable   the 64  000 question is  how do you know youre with the wrong person so you can avoid wreaking havoc on major parts of your life   jay asks in one of the unsuccessful attempts at adding some seriousness to the film  finally  there is the films attempt at physical comedy  jays exgirlfriend natasha  vanessa angel  becomes infatuated with jay again once she thinks he is going out with someone else  natasha rips jays shirt open after pushing him down onto the sofa  as she throws her hair on his bare chest  she demands he pull it  this is supposed to be funny  most films have some saving grace  some bit part was done especially well or some scene managed to be funny even if the rest of the picture wasnt  kissing a fool  on the other hand  has nothing to recommend it  kissing a fool runs 1  45  it is rated r for profanity and sexuality and would be acceptable for most teenagers  
neg	i am continually amazed at movies like this  that some producer would waste an abundance of talent and money on a script as abysmal as this one is mindboggeling  but it seems to happen a lot nowadays   wild wild west  is a beautifully filmed  well acted  and well directed piece of garbage  and its insipid screenplay is completely at fault  in short  this movie is a comedy without laughs  so many jokes fall flat that it borderlines surreal  the high production values keep it from being a total fiasco  but its still pretty boring  will smith stars as jim west  an old western  rb variation of the james bond character  west is teamed up with artemus gordon  kevin kline   and theyre pretty much polar oppisites  west prefers to solve his problems with an array of bullets  gordon traditionally favors a more pacifistic approach  talk about deeply developed characters  at any rate  this leads to the inevitable conflicts between methodologies  none of which are funny  the year is 1869  several top scientists have been abducted  and the suspected culprit is a disgruntled former confederate general  bloodbath mcgrath  ted levine   president grant sends west and gordon to investigate  theres evidence that mcgrath is attending some sort of confederate reunion in louisiana  west and gordon show up and learn that mcgrath is actually working for dr  arliss loveless  kenneth branagh   another disgruntled former confederate  as it turns out  loveless plans to use the combined knowledge of the scientests to create the ultimate super weapon  which he will use to conquer the united states  id go further with the plot  but there isnt any point  this films narrative is little more than a jumbled  unfunny mess  i only laughed at a couple of jokes  and then only lightly  there isnt one truly uprorously funny moment in this film  and thats pretty disasterous when you consider that its primarily a comedy  as i said  the fault is totally that of the script  when you consider their respective roles  will smith and kevil kline do as good as they could have possibly done  the leads couldve been played samuel l  jackson and robert de niro and the film still wouldve been awful  no one  and i mean no one  can make a line like  bye bye  mr  knife guy   sound good  still  this film has a lot going for it visually  the set design is fantastic  maybe even oscar worthy  the cinematogrophy by michael ballhaus  who was also behind camera in martin scorseses brilliant  goodfellas    is absolutely stunning  he lends the film a much needed exciting  comic bookish look  i wont fault barry sonnenfeld either  he does a fine job of directing the proceedings  but  like the rest of the people involved with the film  there really isnt anything that he can do to correct its one major flaw  despite being beautifully made   wild wild west  becomes quite boring after the halfway point  the appeal of the visuals ends long before the film does  if  wild wild west  didnt look so good  it would be almost insufferable  as it is  its somewhat tolerable  but not very entertaining  it hurts to give such a well made movie a score this low  but there isnt anything much worse than an unfunny comedy  
neg	this talky  terriblyplotted thriller stars alec baldwin as dave robicheaux  an exnew orleans cop who gets ensnared in a murder mystery after a lightplane crashes into the bayou beside his fishing boat  he and his wife annie  kelly lynch  rescue a little salvadorian girl  samantha lagpacan  from the wreckage and thats when the trouble begins  the other major players include a local drug lord  eric roberts   his scheming wife  teri hatcher   a soused stripper  mary stuart masterson   and a shady dea agent  vondie curtis hall   everyone knows everyone else and it makes for a collective thats curious but never compelling  based on the book by james lee burke  heavens prisoners is so badly plotted that entire  scenes  seem to be missing  early on  we have no idea of why dave and annie keep the child to themselves  nor how they eluded both the coast guard and the faa  later  dave is reunited with a drugabuser who appears seemingly clean and sober and without any explanation  huh  the whole movie is like this  perhaps the result of some unkind cuts that happened during the eighteen months that the film sat on the shelf  whatever the reason  somebody should tell director phil joanou  final analysis  to recut this mess  in its present form  heavens prisoners runs only two hours plus change  but it feels like four  
neg	spoiled rich kid kelley morse  chris klein  receives a new mercedes for a graduation present  he and his buddies take it for a joyride to a small nearby town  where he proceeds to torment the locals simply because hes rich and theyre not  he ends up provoking jasper  josh hartnett  into a race and as a result  the local gas station and diner are destroyed when they crash into it  kelley is sentenced to rebuild the diner  and has to live with jasper in a spare room over his familys barn  jaspers girlfriend sam  leelee sobieski  soon takes a liking to kelley however  despite the fact that 1  it was her familys diner that was destroyed and b  all kelley does is sit around  sulk  and smart off to the townspeople  but when she sees him sweaty and shirtless  thats apparently all she needs to lose her feelings for jasper  whose only fault seems to be a perpetual case of hat hair   so sobieski soon falls in love with kelley  especially after the day she follows him through the woods and hears him giving his graduation speech  which he was unable to deliver because he caused the destruction of property and nearly killed dozens of people   in the speech  kelley quotes a poem by robert frost  which just so happens to be sams favorite poem as well  awwwww  soon theyre frolicking around in the fields and for some reason waste no time letting people in town  especially jaspers best friend  see them together  kelley continues to make an ass of himself in town  especially when he shows up at the town dance  drunk and steaming because sam went with jasper  kelley runs off and decides to leave town  sam catches up to him at the bus station and he asks her to come to boston with him  jasper shows up and tearfully confesses to sam just how much he loves her  and sam  without even breaking stride basically says  see ya   and takes off to boston with kelley  here on earth goes in so many wrong directions from the start that by the time its fairly decent ending comes around  its completely worthless  chris klein and leelee sobieski are two of my current favorite young performers  and its because of their presence that i watched this film in the first place  however  not long into the proceedings i wanted to just reach into the film and strangle them both  i shouldnt have such feelings towards people i like  but their characters are so infuriating that    well trust me  youll feel the same way  even though both of the lead male characters are usually in the wrong  kelley is hands down the more unlikable of the two  simply because his jerkish actions are calculated  he intends to be a jackass each and every time he does it  jasper on the other hand  only reacts to kelleys provocations  and afterwards comes across as being truly sorry for his impulsive actions  but  as in life  nice guys finish last  for the entire film we watch sam fall in love with the guy no one likes while the films only sympathetic character gets completely crushed  then  a cancer subplot comes into play  where things get even more infuriating  if you can imagine that   what  things werent depressing enough for you mr  screenwriter  who greenlit this project  who  on earth  thought this would entertain anyone  perhaps if the film had been structured where kelley perhaps felt some remorse after he caused the destruction of property and nearly killed dozens of people  but even after hes destroyed these peoples lives he continues to be a snob to them  and ruins one more for good measure  here on earth is available on dvd from fox home entertainment  it contains the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1  85  1 and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions  extras include jessica simpsons music video for  where you are   a commercial for the films soundtrack  which by the way is the only good thing about the film   the original theatrical trailer and five tv spots  trailers for other fox releases  anna and the king  anywhere but here  the beach  drive me crazy  ever after  romeo  juliet  simply irresistible   as well as that new fox promo touting their upcoming dvd releases that i really enjoy  the picture and sound quality on the disc are fine    nothing that will challenge anyones audiovideo systems of course  fans of this movie  if any exist  should enjoy the dvd release  here on earth is not entertaining nor is it compelling  no joy or entertainment value can be derived from any of the events of the film  it is merely a waste of time  money and talent  
neg	some movies prerelease buzz is so insistent on their high oscar potential that when theyre finally released  everyone just goes along with it  thus sometimes  films unworthy of any award sans the razzie become oscar hopefuls and some even score nominations  last year it was the thin red line  this years  winner  is the hurricane  pure unadulterated tripe that is all of a sudden being received with critical plaudits and votes in the office oscar pool  acclaimed director norman jewisons biopic retreads all the conventions of courtroom movies without any of the fun  and thats supposed to be ok because  see  its a true story  its about rubin  hurricane  carter  denzel washington   a legendary african american prizefighted who is unjustly convicted of triple homicide with the help of a ghastly  racist   detective  dan hedaya  whos had it in for the  bigshot  hurricane ever since he arrested him for stabbing a white man with a knife  in selfdefense but who cares  right   when rubin was only ten  he is to serve three life sentences with no possibility of parole  most of the film takes place when he is in his 15th year in prison  to the rescue  lesra martin  vicellous reon shannon  and his team of wannabe detectives  lesra is an african american teenager taken in by three welloff canadian white people  hanna  unger  schreiber  to get an education  lesra and his buddies go to a book sale where lesra picks out his very first book   the sixteenth round   rubins autobiography  immediately thereafter  schreibers character tells lesra  sometimes we dont pick the books we read  they pick us   hmmm  after a few visits to the prison  they become convinced of rubins innocence and launch their own fullscale investigation even though two juries have convicted him  they meticulously go through all the files and revisit all the old witnesses  i wonder if any of them might be cranky old women who slam the door in their faces   and in the course of their relentlessy tedious sleuthing uncover obvious evidence confirming the hurricanes innocence that was either ignored or never seeked out during the first two proceedings  of course  were already told that hes innocent  a movie like this is especially frustrating because were not being shown everything significant that happened to carter during this period in his life  all too obviously  were getting the hollywood watered down version  that would be ok except that the parts we are getting is milked for every single drop of melodrama that the filmmakers could possibly squeeze out of it  its almost cruel  the melodrama isnt of the entertaining kind either  its the hokey  rammeddownyourthroat variety where every emotion is exaggerated to the point of absurdity  witness the villain ferociously grinding his teeth at the final trial or the constant pseudosaintliness of our four protagonists  the hurricane is your basic courtroom movie except its a nofrills courtroom movie  its formula stripped to the bare necessities  you have your wrongly accused black man  you have your melodramatic final courtroom scene  but theres nothing else  youd expect some sort of involving investigation  but thats not necessary since were implicitly informed of his innocence  thus the whole middle portion of the movie is reduced to the protagonist brooding  brooding to himself  brooding to other inmates  brooding to lesra  brooding to lesras canadian friends  brooding in letters  i dont think ill ever look at brooding the same way again  it wasnt long before i got tired of hearing the hurricanes exceedingly deep meditations on his condition  i wanted something to happen  as for washingtons performance in the title role  i figured id have to address it sooner or later considering the amount of attention its received  he is top notch  though still boring  how is that possible  well  he does what jewison wanted him to do perfectly  unfortunately what jewison asked him to do is a load of crap  what a waste of a great performer  speaking of wastes  why the hell did john hannah agree to do this  hes an extremely talented actor and i love him dearly  but what is he doing here  to call his character  along with schreibers and ungers  a stick figure would be a gross understatement  all three of them come off as veritable mother theresas  as benevolent as dogooders come  if theyre to play a major part in this movie  why not make them real people  with real feelings and emotions  look  if youre going to make a formula movie  dont undermine the formula  courtroom dramas can be fun  but this is ridiculous  not only is it trite  its boring  
neg	all feature film directors who cut their teeth on music videos  please raise your hands  thank you for identifying yourselves  now would you all please go away  your influence has to rank as one of the most annoying trends in filmmaking in the last decade  and it shows no sign of abating any time soon  it isnt just the strobe light quality of your twentycutsperminute editing  or the numbing overuse of popular music artists on the soundtracks which makes me suspicious of any film advertised  featuring the music of     no  it is a kind of cynicism you have perfected  banking on the idea that no one will care about the lack of a story if you include enough bells and whistles  welcome to the club  scott kalvert  your adaptation of the basketball diaries is loud and onedimensional  serving only as the vehicle for a performance by leonardo dicaprio that is better in pieces than it is as a whole  dicaprio stars as jim carroll  the new york poetsongwriter performer on whose autobiographical writings the film is based  as the film opens  jim is a budding high school basketball star given to petty thievery and getting drunk with buddies mickey  mark wahlberg   pedro  james madio  and neutron  patrick mcgaw   one night  jim graduates from inhalants to cocaine  and shortly thereafter to heroin  jims addiction to the drug starts him on a downhill spiral  as he is kicked off the basketball team by his coach  bruno kirby   kicked out of his home by his mother  lorraine bracco   and drops out of school  along with mickey and pedro  jim becomes a victim of the street  living from fix to fix and sinking lower and lower  the basketball diaries has been bouncing around as a project for years  but the sticking point has always been that jim carroll as a character was too unsympathetic and too much a loner  screenwriter bryan goluboff created the three characters who act as carrolls posse  resulting in a jim carroll who is just as unsympathetic  but now with equally unsympathetic friends  as a film  the basketball diaries may be intended primarily as a cautionary tale  a 100 minute long  just say no  public service announcement  but as drama it is monumentally ineffective because it is impossible to care much about anyone in the movie  jim is sort of a jerk even before he becomes a junkie  but i suppose that his pseudosensitive poetry and his devotion to his terminally ill friend are intended to balance that out  perhaps we are expected to see jim as one of those  good kids who falls in with the wrong crowd  that every parent believes his or her troubled child to be  i saw him simply as part of the bad crowd  without a character who changes in any appreciable way  the basketball diaries rapidly degenerates into a collection of crimes committed by jim and his strungout cohorts  all choreographed to an oppressively loud soundtrack  director scott kalvert doesnt have many scenes with intrinsic dramatic impact with which to work  so he substitutes silly slowmotion photography  selfconsciously funky camera angles and choppy editing  on only one occasion  when a steady pan around a room where jim is trying to detox makes it appear that the walls are closing in  are any of the gimmicks effective  mostly  they just draw attention to how hollow the story is  they also dont allow leonardo dicaprios performance to be as strong as it could have been  for every impressive moment  like his desperate attempt to get his mother to give him money  there is a scene where kalvert pulls too much of the focus to his own camera theatrics  dicaprio is most effective when he is playing off other actors  particularly a fine sequence featuring ernie hudson as an exjunkie who tries to help jim straighten out  but kalvert wont let character interaction define this story  he wants to turn dicaprio into a rock star  shooting him in dramatic fashion but denying him the opportunity to do much acting  at isolate moments  the basketball diaries is a fine showcase for dicaprios talents  far more frequently  it looks like kalvert is trying to imagine what a long form velvet underground video might have looked like  
neg	depending on your degree of cinematic acumen  last man standing is either a  a prohibitionera remake of akira kurosawas 1961 classic yojimbo  b  a prohibitionera remake of sergio leones 1964 classic a fistful of dollars  c  a prohibitionera action drama with a completely original storyline  new line is certainly counting on the fact that there are far more potential viewers in category  c  than in the other two combined  much as the recent remakes of diabolique and the vanishing counted on avoiding such comparisons  the fact is that there is yet another way of looking at last man standing  which is as the first film version of the story which nods to the real source material  the dashiell hammett novel red harvest  it also shows that kurosawa and leone knew better what to do with that material than hammett himself  this time around  the man with no name is played by bruce willis  a fellow with a shady history of an undefined nature who rolls into the texas border town of jericho one day on his way to mexico  by all appearances  jericho is well on its way to becoming a ghost town  with the few remaining inhabitants generally belonging to one of two bootlegging operations fighting for control of liquor coming over the border  one is headed by an irishman named doyle  david patrick kelly   the other is run by chicagoconnected italian mobster strozzi  ned eisenberg   calling himself john smith  the man decides that there is money to be made from the conflict  and hires himself out as an enforcer to doyles side  but smiths allegiance is as uncertain as his name  and he begins to play the two sides against each other while trying to stay one step ahead of both of them  viewers familiar with both previous incarnations of this story will find virtually nothing radically changed from a plotting standpoint  and that alone should make last man standing somewhat more respectable than other recent hollywood remakescumbastardizations  there is the happily ineffectual lawman  bruce dern   the unhappily detained object of one of the bosses affections  karina lombard   the barkeep who becomes our antiheros only friend  william sanderson   suspicious lieutenants  christopher walken and michael imperioli  to question the bosses trust in smith  a brutal beating  and a big fire  director walter hill gives the proceedings his usual injection of steroids  including a pair of guns for willis which have the ability to propel an assailant backward with sufficient thrust to achieve escape velocity  but at least he doesnt try to turn the story into a slasher film or a buddy picture  what he does do is nearly as big a mistake  and that is to provide a running voiceover narration by willis which rings of the standard hardboiled style of pulp detective fiction  yes  that narration is full of cliches  but those are are not particularly troubling  the problem is that both yojimbo and a fistful of dollars succeeded largely on the inscrutability of their lead characters  they were a mystery  to the other characters in the film and to the audience  their motives never entirely clear even after they have acted  and that quality contributed to their almost mythical status  with john smiths voice chattering on in the background and allowing us into his every thought  he becomes more mundane  just another tough guy trying to stay alive  it feels like a hammett novel  all right  and hill can plead faithfulness to his text for his choice  but it simply doesnt work  the narration allows the man with no name to take us into his confidence  and the man with no name takes no one into his confidence  even if you walk into last man standing as a blank slate  i cant imagine it being much more than a heavily armed minor distraction  willis tones down his macho swagger as the taciturn smith  but there is still a level on which he always seems like he is counting on being tougher than everyone else rather than smarter than everyone else  christopher walken plays doyles brutal henchman as a slight variation on his gallery of softspoken psychos  and there isnt another single character whom makes even the slightest impression  with no compelling antagonist for smith  there is no buildup towards the expected showdown  and when it does come  that showdown is over so quickly you wonder what all the fuss was about  cinematographer lloyd ahern  who also did the only noteworthy work on hills 1995 flop wild bill  creates some nifty sunburned vistas  but his work is only to keep the eye distracted between the spurts of gunfire and the next bit of counterproductive narration  sometimes when someone sees a lackluster remake of a revered original  theyll wonder what all the talk was about  in the case of last man standing  it is those who know the originals who will wonder what all that talking was about  
neg	okay  bear with me yall  cause first off i have to get this off my chest  what the hell is up with that damn crab    whew  okay  cause that same clip shown over and over again was beginning to get on my nerves towards the end  as cute as the crab maybe  even i know that you need more footage than  that   and that wasnt the only thing getting on my nerves  the cutesy gimmicks  saccharine sweet score  soundtrack and the pretty young faces of sarah michelle gellar  as amanda  and sean patrick flannery  as tom  might have held some appeal during  oh  say the first 10 minutes of the movie  at first the movie moves along at a quick  interesting pace  it is speedily established that something magical is about to happen to amanda when she encounters a totally random fairy godfather type person on the street  whose aforementioned crab follows her everywhere and just  doesnt  die  a ridiculous concept  yes  but at this point im willing to accept it because im willing to accept that this is how amandas life is changed  how her powers are received  later on  the movie cant seem to decide whether these powers come from this fairy godfather or from amanda falling in with tom  and this is why the clips of the crab were annoying  they werent just repetitive  they were out of place and unnecessary  the plot stumbles along at an uneven speed  sometimes dwelling too long on a particular development  amanda suddenly becoming a great chef  her falling in love with tom  etc    sometimes moving on too quickly for its own good  some places the plot just doesnt make sense  sometimes its way too contrived  the crab bit  for example   and sometimes too corny  peaches emitting dry ice  cant beat that   all in all the plot seemed fragmented  unconnected  not romantic at all  and only funny in some places  so  okay  do the magic powers come from the crab  or the fairy godfather  she can  float  now too  and all of a sudden  instead of just making dry ice come out of peaches  she can put her emotions into her food  tom all of a sudden just accepts amandas  witchcraft  in the end  would people really dine in a restaurant that resembles life after death in tupacs video  what the hell is up with that damn crab  it is unfortunate  because i liked the basic premise of the movie  until it became too fantastical and tiresome  the film seemed to skirt around a serious theme or at least  a  theme for a while  but towards the end it resolved to show us long flashback clips and 5 minutes of people crying at their tables  the humor was good in some places  nolan gets the funniest bits  including that incomprehensible  totally random thing with the dolls   gellar and flannery are qualified actors  and gellar has a particular charm  but i much prefer her playing the saucy buffy  or even annette in the upcoming  cruel intentions   than this sorry excuse for a character  its almost funny sometimes to see these two trying so hard to make the dialogue sound better than it is  or trying to make the relationship seem more plausible  the supporting character nolan was a highlight  though he reminded me a bit of kevin in  youve got mail   see footnotes   and  as always  typical of a chick flick  romantic comedy  theres a seemingly endless romantic soundtrack in the background  cued up at all the right places  this sort of got on the nerves after a while  too   simply irresistible  is not hard to understand  light  funny in some places  and generally disappointing because it cant draw the line between romance and protracted sap  between humor and tired slapstick  and how could i refrain from making a pun      simply irresistible  is all too easy to resist   first viewing  2699   did anyone else think this was a tad bit similar to  youve got mail   or  the shop around the corner    business rivals fall in love  female counterparts business is in danger of being shut down  female as mother like figure guiding her  the annoying  hysterical exgirlfriends   i really like sarah michelle gellars wardrobe  
neg	i went to blair witch project 2  book of shadows with the highest of hopes  the original film  released last summer  was genuinely scary and terrifying  i hoped that this movie would live up to its predecessor  unfortunately  my hopes were soon dashed  as the movie opens  the audience is shown pseudodocumentary clips of burkittsville  maryland residents being interviewed about the sudden tourist influx to their town as a result of the original blair witch project movie  its a mostly humorous  selfaware poke at the media hype and hysteria surrounding the first film  during this segment  we are introduced to the protagonist  a young man who sells blair witchrelated memorabilia from his website  the movie then cuts to a title that informs us that what we are about to see occurred one year previously  we see the same young man that was selling blair witch paraphernalia  but now he is confined in a mental institution the sort of which one only finds in bad horror movies  we see him having some sort of disgusting white goo unconvincingly forced down his nose while a cigarettesmoking doctor luridly leers above him  we see him throwing himself wildly around a padded room  we see him cowering naked in a shower stall as a fire hose is turned on him  no explanation is provided for why he is in the mental institution  in fact  these scenes are barely referred to again  i had a sinking feeling during these opening scenes  generally  a hospital scene that is set with poor lighting  filthy interiors  and evil doctors is a sure sign that you are in the throes of a truly horrible movie  the movie cuts again  this time to the present  the young man  whose name is jeffrey  played by jeffrey donovan  as in the first movie  the character names are identical to the actors names  although this movie admits up front that it is fictional  so theres no reason for the practice this time around   is rounding up a group of people that he will be leading into the woods that weekend for the  blair witch hunt   which is a promotional gimmick he came up with and sells on his website  we meet tristen and steven  a young couple who are writing a book about the blair witch experience  steven is a skeptic  believing the whole thing to be the result of mass hysteria  tristen  on the other hand  believes that there may be some truth to the rumors of supernatural occurrence  she is wan and softspoken  she complains that the radio is playing too loudly   she also complains that she feels nauseated  i knew immediately that the character was pregnant  and my intuition was confirmed a few scenes later when kim psychomagically susses it out  how did i know  because in bad movies  nauseated women are always pregnant   the fourth member of their party is erica  a wiccan with flowing hair and wide eyes who wants to prove that the blair witch was a good witch  not evil  they pick up the fifth and final team member in a cemetery  kim is dressed completely in black  has extreme gothstyle makeup on  and occasionally displays seemingly psychic abilities  but otherwise seems to be the most intelligent and reasonable person out of the entire bunch  presumably she wanted to be picked up in the cemetery just for dramatic effect  its never explained  the party of five heads off into the woods as promised  they reach the crumbling ruins of the foundation of rustin parrs house and set up camp  complete with extensive video equipment with which to record the nights events  there is a brief encounter with a rival blair witch tour group who had planned to camp at that site as well  but after a few words are exchanged  the rival group huffs off and makes camp elsewhere  the movie veers off at this point to spend many long  long minutes showing the drinking party that ensues after the sun goes down  sexual innuendoes are tossed around  much hard liquor  beer  and pot is consumed  and nothing much else happens  this would be a great point to get up and go to the bathroom if necessary  the next day  the team wakes up and discovers that their camera equipment has been completely trashed  and that steven and tristens manuscript paper is fluttering down from the sky in shreds  like snow  the videotapes are missing  but thanks to a psychic intuition from kim  they discover the videotapes buried underneath the foundation of the house   right where the original blair witch tapes were found   ooh  spooky  the team goes back to jeffreys house  a creepy old civil warera warehouse in the heart of the woods  to regroup and review the tapes  they soon discover that the tapes mysteriously skip five hours of the night  wacky hijinks ensue  tristen starts having weird dreams in which she is the blair witch  everybody starts finding these weird runelike burn marks on their bodies  steven and erica have some highly disturbing mutual hallucinations  and everything pretty much goes to hell in a handbasket  throughout the entire ordeal  jeffrey and the others continue to scrutinize the videotapes  which seem to have some kind of weird images on them at about the point that the time jumps  eventually tristen wanders in  mutters something about  reverse   and from this they somehow realize that they have to play the tapes backwards  when they do this  they discover what really happened during the five lost hours   one of the things they see on the videotape is footage of themselves burying the videotapes  okay  if the videotapes were being buried  then how were they recording themselves    oh  nevermind   this movie was awful  simply awful  the characters are broadlydrawn caricatures that are never allowed any depth or development  erica is the natureloving wiccan  tristen is the weak and sympathetic woman  steven is the overbearing asshole  kim is the antisocial goth girl  old  tired cliches were used to illustrate these caricatures  how do we know tristen is weak and sympathetic  because shes pregnant  how do we know kim is an antisocial goth girl  because she wears a lot of eye makeup  how do we know the local sheriff is a bad guy  because he has jagged teeth and talks like hes straight out of  deliverance   this is weak storytelling at its worst  rather than taking the time to flesh out the characters and make them truly sympathetic  the writer chose to give each one a few stereotypical characteristics  in an attempt to use some cinematic shorthand and thereby skip straight to the action  it didnt work  on top of being poorly developed  most of the characters were either seriously unlikable or patently stupid    honey  you just had a miscarriage out in the woods and got medical attention at a hospital that looks like it belongs in a bad slasher movie  lets get on a plane home    no  i am having these bizarre nightmares and seeing strange visions and i want to find out whats going on    ok    frankly  by the end of the movie  i was rooting for the witch  i also felt that there was simply too much blood n gore in this film  the first movie worked by never showing us the horror  the witch was a palpable presence in that movie  but we never saw it  we never saw anything  in fact  the horror was all offscreen  and thus our imaginations worked overtime to envision what it might possibly be  this is the hallmark of a truly creepy and disturbing horror movie  blair witch 2 dispensed with such niceties and went straight for the grossout  this was evident from the opening scenes of the mad doctors forcing white goo down jeffreys throat  and continued throughout the film as the audience is treated to occasional confusing and disorienting footage of what appears to be a ritual massacre of some sort  knives plunge into flesh  bloody fingers trail off into the darkness  and none of it is explained until the very end  when it was too late for me to care  this movie didnt stop with showing us the gore  either  it went for broke and showed us everything  by the end of the movie  there are no questions remaining about the missing five hours  it is all explained  in fact  it is all shown onscreen in loving detail  i confess to being someone who prefers horror movies in which you never see the monster  or see only brief glimpses  mere suggestions of what the monster is  it is not because i find the monster so terrifying  but because i find the absence of the monster to be infinitely more terrifying  i have seen interviews with the director in which he suggested that there is no  monster   that all of the evil was perpetrated only by the human mind  i found this to be a miserably poor explanation  if it was in fact the directors intent  then he needs to have some words with the writer  because it was not made clear at all   i know a lot of people who like to go to parties and get drunk and stoned out of their minds  none of them has ever gone on a murderous rampage and then experienced mass hallucinations with a group of other people for the next week or so  and if there was no witch  then what about the vanishing tree  the snowfall of manuscript paper  hm   blair witch 2  book of shadows was a horrible movie  from the poorlywritten characters to the implausible story to the plot inconsistencies to the grossout shots  it was a bad effort through and through  
neg	im giving this stinker  normally  the worst that i would ever rate a movie would be  but the total waste of time that is blazing saddles is  compounded by the fact that this movie is incredibly offensive  helped me come to the big goose egg  im not sure what the hell mel brooks was thinking when he made this thing  or if he was even thinking at all  maybe in mels little mind a horse being knocked unconscious because of a punch to the face is funny  in mine  its not  or maybe mel graduated from the spike lee school of filmmaking  because only the selfrighteous lee uses the nword more often in his films than brooks did in this one  at least lee has the smarts to realize that nobody is going to find that term amusing  brooks bandies it about like he figures the audience will be rolling in the aisles every time they hear it  wrong mel  i would call you a boob mel  but that insults breasts everywhere  this idiotic attempt at a comedy centers on the evil lieutenant governors  harvey korman  attempts to clear out a town so he can buy up the land cheap and sell it to the railroad  he sends his goons to run the townsfolk out  but the town appeals to the governor  mel brooks in one of many uninspired  and unfunny roles  to send them a new sheriff to protect them  the governor pawns the task off to kormans character hedley lamarr   i can tell you are rolling off your chairs right now just thinking of all the humor in that name   lamarr decides to send the town a black sheriff  gasp  in the hopes that the town will be so disgusted at the prospect of a black man living among them that they will all just leave  hold on  ive got to stop while these gales of laughter pass  its just too funny  racism passing as humor  gosh why didnt anybody ever think of that one before  oh wait  i think somebody might have  they are called the kkk  im not calling brooks a racist  but i am calling him an insensitive bastard who wouldnt know what was funny if it hit him over the head  but i digress  anyway  the black sheriff rides into town amid a flurry of townsfolk using the nword  golly  will the hilarity just never end  he ends up joining forces with a drunk  gene wilder   who happens to be the former fastest gun in the west  together  they save the day from evil  not one person in this movie gives a decent performance  wilder looks like he is recovering from a head injury for most of the movie  and korman looks embarrassed to be a part of the movie  ok  he really didnt  but he should have  the films star cleavon little goes along with the black jokes as if they were discussing the time of day  i did not laugh once during this whole sorry experience  i admit to starting to snicker on a couple of occasions  actually  the end started to look as if it was going to have some promise  but alas  it ended up being as crappy as the rest of the movie  i can say with full confidence that blazing saddles has no redeeming qualities whatsoever  mel brooks would be doing the world a favor if he burned every last copy of this film  
neg	2 days in the valley is more or less a pulp fiction knock off  it basically involves how a bunch of quirky characters in the los angeles area end up having their lives become intertwined in some very unusual ways  im not going into much greater detail than that  since it would take forever to explain  and quite frankly  im not willing to spend any more time on it than the 2 hours that ive already wasted  while it tries very hard to be pulp fiction  2 days in the valley falls way short  this is quite a condemnation considering the cast includes danny aiello  james spader and jeff daniels  while the story isnt much  and the dialogue and characters rate only marginally better  2 days in the valley does have a couple of bright spots  james spaders character  while not much better than the rest  is at least fun to watch in a sick sort of way  and we do get to see a nice cat fight between uber babes teri hatcher and charlize theron  in her first role   you know a movie isnt that good when the highlight is a brawl between two women  even if they are both gorgeous  i will give the writers some credit for the fairly clever ways in which they managed to intersect the lives of this group of characters that would have otherwise never interacted  but marveling at that ingenuity is a far cry from actually enjoying the result  while some of the characters and their respective stories are fairly interesting  they inevitably are brought down as they intersect with the other half of the characters that i really cared absolutely nothing about  if i were to put a number on it  only about half of the story and half the characters in this movie were particularly interesting or otherwise enjoyable to watch  this is the sort of movie that only a huge fan of one or more of the cast members should rent  and even then prepare for disappointment  not even charlize theron being naked would get me to sit through this movie again  or at least not all of it anyway  
neg	what would inspire someone who cannot write or act to pen and star in a movie  a better question  what would inspire a studio to produce said movie  if you have an answer  let me know  foolish  the new movie written by and starring master p is a jawdroppingly horrible film  one with no redeeming value socially  cinematically or otherwise  comedically it has some potential  but only in its standup comedy moments  which i can turn on comedy central for  master p stars as fifty dollah  beat that   as a mobster  i think  who is trying to start a comedy clubact with his little brother foolish  eddie griffin   but the two of them have to deal with an angry mob boss  played by andrew dice clay  for the very first time entertaining   a stubborn club owner and family problems  the latter in foolish is a perfect example of roger eberts  idiot plot   if everyone here wasnt an idiot  there would be no problem  so what does foolish have to offer beside a bunch of idiotic character names  not a hell of a lot  as i have mentioned  master p cannot act or write  he acts like the rapper that he is  the occasional despair that his script requires him to exhibit is excruciatingly forced  as are his warm and fuzzy scenes with his little bro  as for his script  well  i suppose he delivers what one would expect from a musical artist with no previous screenwriting experience  if you havent yet figured it out  that is not saying much  costar eddie griffin  really the star of the show  is quite a different story  the fact of the matter is that griffin  whose most significant screen outing to date is probably the mildly successful tv show malcolm and eddie on the fledgling upn network  is an extremely talented comedian  standup and otherwise  he has much in common with chris tucker  rush hour  money talks  in how quickly and effortlessly his speech flows from his lips  he spouts profanity with impressive dexterity  to the extent which that can be done   and while i hope that does not become his trademark it works in a few scenes in this movie  and indeed  i laughed at a few standup scenes here  but from a featurelength movie i expect more  foolish provided me with no reason to care for these characters  every scene which has any potential for dramatic impact is effectively diffused by either a stupid joke  in a scene where tension escalates between the two brothers  foolish blurts out towards his jewelrysporting sibling  you lay one hand on me and this cemetary is going to be a gold rush   or something even more idiotic such as foolish smashing his own car  to which i said  a bit too loudly for the occasion  huh    after getting slightly upset with his wife  believe me when i say that there is nothing in foolish that warrants parting with your hardearned 8  youll get more laughs from watching 30 minutes of comedy central or any virtually any sitcom if you dont have cable  eddie griffin fans may enjoy this derivative  although offensive  yarn  but everyone else should stay the hell away  137  
neg	synopsis  a novelist struggling with his latest work buys a weird brain with a protruding eyeball encased in a jar  the brain exerts its evil influence upon the novelist and his secretary  while his wife disapproves  meanwhile  a loan shark in need of a shave tries to leave his profession  comments  why is this movie called possessed by the night  its hard to speculate  most of this film takes place during the day  and the only thing possessing anyone is an icky  pulsating  bubbling brain thingie in a jar  in case you havent picked up on this yet  possessed by the night is a bottomofthebarrel  thriller   i use the term  thriller  loosely here  which is really cheap and bad  the plot  which sounds like a cheesy pulp science fiction story from the 1950s  actually serves one purpose  to exploit nude women as often as possible  writing a movie review for a film like this proves oddly challenging  theres really not much to say  the acting is lousy  although  occasionally  the attempts at acting are so absurd that they garner a chuckle or two from the audience  most humorous is frank sivero  who plays murray  the novelists agent  he is so horrible in this role that one cant help but be amused  the plot sucks  nearly half the film is devoted to a loser loan shark who wants out of the profession  even though he has only limited relevance to the movie as a whole  the dialogue stinks  a loan shark  for instance  tells another how much he loves bimbos  which is something the audience really doesnt need to know  everything about possessed by the night is second rate  even the film credits  as the names of the notsotalented film crew scrolled by at the end  joseph scales came up  credited as being  assistsant to foley artist   someone could have used an editor  to be honest  the film is basically an excuse to flash frontal nudity and show some sex scenes  playboy playmate shannon tweed  after all  is the star here  i suppose that if one wanted this sort of thing  he would like this movie  why did i give this turkey two stars and not one  as a bad movie  it is unintentionally funny enough to keep someone passingly interested in the film  if you feel possessed to see possessed by the night  however  id recommend you exorcise this impulse and watch something else  
neg	okay  okay  maybe i wasnt in the mood to watch a mindless action movie  i am the same person that liked lethal weapon iii  even while admitting that it wasnt as good as the others  howewer  the latest segal picture didnt look that bad  and since none of my friends would go see a woody allen movie even if i paid them  i went to see it expecting a mild die hard rehash  boy  was i wrong  in the first half of the movie  we are already assaulted with segals acting   he is not simply wooden  he is like a wall   gratuitous violence  an incredible plot  sexist and even more gratuitous nudity  and bad lines that obviously were meant as jokes  by the end  it is obvious that hundreds of navy men are no match for thirty armed special forces soldiers  not once in the movie did segal appear worried or undecided  which did not do much for increasing the unexistent suspense  of course  in movies like these  there must be a sidekick  and a love interest  in these one we are given a two for one package in the form of a playboy model  in the movie   which only functions as a supposed comic relief  by the way of extremely stupid unfunny lines   and to have watering eyes and look away every time something bad happens in the movie  oh  of course  she appears naked from the waist up  and  of course  segal kisses her at the end after no development of their relationship  they did not even seem to be interested in each other  i have never seen so little chemistry between two people in a movie  often  the villain saves the movie  unfortunately  the villains here are cartoonish  stupid and unfunny  unmenacing  how many movies have psycho exspecial forces bad guys  too many  i was able to predict the action all throughout the movie  including the moment where the sidekick saves the hero from certain death  the scene where the bad guy can kill the hero but proceeds to explain his plan to him  the scene where we are shown the heros superiors are stupid  the scene where the bad guy loses his gun and has to fight the hero hand to hand  etc    simply said  this is moviemaking by the numbers  boring  and potentially offensive in going for the lowest common denominator of the audience  my recommendation  if you go see it  bring a watch  youll be looking at it for most of the movie  my  rent die hard  read a book  stare at the sky  do not waste your time on this worthless piece of celluloid  the real sad thing is that there are a lot of movies out that i would rather have seen  once again  dragged in by my friends  which by the way  liked the movie halfheartedly  they probably like wrestling too     
neg	in life  eddie murphy and martin lawrence play two young men wrongfully convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison  after about an hour of watching this movie  you begin to realize how their characters feel  fortunately  for audience members theres a chance to escape the nearest exit  this  undoubtedly  is eddie murphys worst movie and thats an accomplishment  remember the golden child  harlem nights  compared to life  they look like citizen kane  life is long  predictable  foulmouthed and only intermittently funny  its 100minute running time feels like 100 years  robert ramsey and matthew stones script basically consist of murphy and lawrence referring to everyone around them as  motherf    s  or  n      s   you lose count how many times both those obnoxious  offensive words are used  and if that all it takes to write a script  than any illiterate jackass can sit at a word processor and compose a movie  but  like life  it will probably stink  to be honest  the screening audience surrounding me in the theater yucked it up  but these were the same people who howled at all the flatulence and fat jokes as well  life is as sophisticated as a belch  its crude and stereotypical  years ago  movies stereotypically portrayed blacks subservient  secondclass people  good for being only maids and servants  for the most part  the lot of blacks and other racial groups have improved  but a new  more insidious stereotype is creeping into movies  in many recent films  through actors such as murphy and chris tuckers  blacks are presented as fasttalking  conniving  scam artists or hiphop  guncrazy  sexcrazed youths  both sets of caricatures are demeaning  and the fault does not rest with the actors  they have to eat  too  it is with the people who write the scripts  the studios who greenlight the projects and the audiences who accept these portrayals without protest  lifes only redeeming virtue is the artistry of makeup legend rick baker who flawlessly ages murphy and lawrence into 90 year olds  otherwise  life is an embarrassment  a blot on the resumes of those associated with it  see it at your own risk  
neg	there may not be a critic alive who harbors as much affection for shlock monster movies as i do  i delighted in the sneakysmart entertainment of ron underwoods bigundergroundworm yarn tremors  i even giggled at last years criticallysavaged bigunderwatersnake yarn anaconda  something about these films causes me to lower my inhibitions and return to the saturday afternoons of my youth  spent in the company of ghidrah  the creature from the black lagoon and the blob  deep rising  a bigunderseaserpent yarn  doesnt quite pass the test  sure enough  all the modern monster movie ingredients are in place  a conspicuously multiethnicmultinational collection of bait    excuse me  characters  an isolated location  here a derelict cruise ship in the south china sea  some comic relief  a few cgienhanced grossouts  and at least one big explosion  there are toocheesytobeaccidental elements  like a sleazy shipping magnate  anthony heald  who also appears to have a doctorate in marine biology  or a slinky international jewel thief  famke janssen  whose white cotton tank top hides a heart of gold  as it happens  deep rising is noteworthy primarily for the mechanical manner in which it spits out all those ingredients  a terrorist crew  led by squintyeyed mercenary hanover  wes studi  and piloted by squintyeyed boat captain finnegan  treat williams   shows up to loot the cruise ship  the sea monsters show up to eat the mercenary crew  a few survivors make it to the closing credits  and up go the lights  its hard to work up much enthusiasm for this sort of joyless filmmaking  especially when a monster moview should make you laugh every time it makes you scream  here  the laughs are provided almost entirely by kevin j  oconnor  generally amusing as the crews fraidycat mechanic  writerdirector stephen sommers seems most concerned with creating a tone of actionhorror menace  something overpopulated with goredrenched skeletons  something where the gunfire and special effects are taken a bit too seriously  deep rising is missing that one unmistakable cue that were expected to have a ridiculous good time  not hide our eyes  case it point  comparing deep rising to its recent cousin anaconda  in deep rising  one of the creatures victims is regurgitated back into view  partially digested and still alive  he shrieks in horror at his freakish appearance and pain  in a moment a bit too disturbing to be laughable  in anaconda  we also see a regurgitated victim  partially digested and still alive  he looks at another character    and winks  make no mistake  deep rising has anaconda beat all to heck when it comes to technical proficiency and pacing  its also gloomy  uninspired and not nearly enough fun  i dont ask much of my monster movies  but i do ask that they act like monster movies  you dont have to show me a fantastically impressive  massive beast with tentacles aflailing  just show me the massive beast burping  and ill figure you get the point  
neg	renee zellweger stars as sonia  a young jewish wife and mother frustrated by the constraints of her hasidic community in brooklyn  her husband  glenn fitzgerald  is a religious scholar whose allinadayswork attitude on sex fails to tame the  fire  she feels within  as so she confesses to the rebbe  after hearing her fiery confession  the rebbe suddenly gets frisky with his pleasantly surprised wifeand dies the next morning   sensing her frustration  her husbands brother  christopher eccleston  gives her a job in his jewelry brokering business in exchange for raw  passionless sex that just fans sonias stillburning flame  on the job  sonia befriends ramon  allen payne   a cool blast of hunky puerto rican water who does his own jewelry designs when not working as a grunt in an upscale jewelry store  can firetaming be far be that far behind for the eversmoldering sonia  just about everything in writerdirector boaz yakins rings false  starting with the improbably cast zellweger  who does an adequate enough acting job but simply looks too waspy for the role  a better fit would have been julianna margulies  who outshines zellweger as sonias takenocrap sisterinlaw  some of sonias baby steps toward liberation  such as indulging in a nonkosher egg roll in chinatown  come off as silly  yakin attempts to spice up the proceedings with a touch of magical realismin the form of the recurring presence of sonias longdead brothers ghostmake the story feel even more trite than it already is   i didnt know what to expect  its like something you chase for so long  but then you dont know how to react when you get it  i still dont know how to react   michael jordan  on winning his first nba championship in 1991    or  my thoughts after meeting him on november 21  1997 
neg	therere so many things to criticize about i dont know where to start  recommendation  turn off your brain  dont be like me  decreasing the rating everyday because i think about it too much  a comet is about to strike earth  causing a catastrophe similar to the extinction level event  e  l  e   that wiped out the dinosaurs  what follows is the story of a presidents bid to think for the good of his people  a rising reporter  the love story of two teenagers  one of whom discovered the comet   and a team of astronauts on the ship messiah to save the world  firstly  there is nothing outstandingly inferior about the making of the film  nor is there anything outstandingly good about it   but the plot holes make the film corny and stupid  to be honest  i was more moved by the trailer than the film itself  which isnt saying much   mimi leders followup to the peacemaker is equally incompetent  with all the big stars wasted   perhaps im just annoyed that the release of the peacemaker in the us overshadowed a far superior thriller  the assignment   it is very obvious that the title not only represents the big boom that will result from the collision  but also connotes the heavy impact on human lives  however  the film simply fails on that note  the effects are wornout  the substandard screenplay limited the acting  and the director continued her sad run in terms of goodfilmmaking credentials  shes still making good money though  t  a leonis unfortunate character  the news reporter  is the foundation of the story and of the cast  but the film suffers from too many characters that do not need to be explored  robert duvalls aging astronaut is lifeless  and morgan freemans president is restricted to  well  a righteous president  which means hes not interesting at all   leonis character is the only appealing one  and is played with reasonable conviction  but a rather peculiar showing when reporting for msnbc   but was definitely undervalued by the director and screenwriters  warning  spoilers included  but a lot of it is irrelevant and predictable anyway   plot holes  plot holes  plot holes  now  e  l  e  is threatening to exterminate more than 99 of the human race  and they send eight puny little nuclear bombs up there  wheres the logic  leder could have at least made it plausible with 20  and then it turns out that only a few percent of the world population actually perish  and those less selfish ones  the ones that stayed at home  were the victims  the film was almost mocking them  telling them they had died for nothing  i also fail to see how two teenagers  carrying a baby  would be the first to climb up the mountainhill  even with a motorbike for a headstart  its unlikely that the dust will take just two years to settle  but that doesnt really matter  building caves was a strategy mentioned in dr  strangelove  which proposed that people lived underground for one hundred or so years  now that is a more practical use for caves  what is the point of living in caves  there is no  unlike dr  strangelove  any radioactivity outside to restrict exposure  how do plants grow  if humans have the technology to keep plants alive in caves  theres no reason why they cant do it in the open  the president disclosed that other countries have been preparing their own caves  obviously this means that the other countries were informed a long time ago  and you cant be serious to say that nobody leaked the news to the media  in an important mission like that of the messiah  for that matter any mission  it is impossible that isnt sufficient fuel for an extra couple of hundred metres  needless to say tens of kilometres  this is not deep impact  its a frivolous cheap impact  but even with all that  some overacting  and a 3  4 rating  its still watchable  just dont think about it  okay  
neg	dont let this movie fool you into believing the romantic noirs of william shakespeare  no one will truly understand the heart and soul of this man except through his work  and this movie makes a vain attempt at that  any moves to  glamorise his life  which hollywood has an annoying tendency to do  will only subtract from his achievement rather than expound on his greatness  this movie about his life  although well written  puts too much makeup on a man whose life was probably more pork and potatoes  rather than lobster and champagne  oh well  lets fantasise onwards an assume that he was a bit of a flirtatious playwrite  who falls in love with a beautiful woman  gwyneth paltrow  and from her inspiration  several plays develop   romeo and juliet  and  the twelfth night  it is easier for me to believe that he had a wet dream and thats how all his plays develop  but please spare me all of this unnecessary melodrama  but i guess my version probably wouldnt draw a crowd or make a dollar on screen  so is there any justification in romanticising the man shakespeare  when all we need to do is read his work in order to find his soul  i think not  as for the oscars were they deserved by this movie  i think not  in many aspects  private ryan and  life is beautiful were far superior movies  but one should never assume that this should be a criteria for winning an oscar  as time and again  for reasons unexplained  an undeserving movie will win the accolade  another sore point is the fact that gwyneth won the best female lead  over a more polished cate  but i guess if you go on enough about your grandfather dying and your nephew being hospitalised  people will start feeling sorry for you  
neg	its a good thing most animated scifi movies come from japan  because  titan a  e   is proof that hollywood doesnt have a clue how to do it  i dont know what this film is supposed to be about  from what i can tell its about a young man named kale whos one of the last survivors of earth in the early 31st century who unknowingly possesses the key to saving and regenerating what is left of the human race  thats a fine premise for an actionpacked scifi animated movie  but theres no payoff  the story takes the main characters all over the galaxy in their search for a legendary ship that the evil  dredge  aliens want to destroy for no apparent reason  so in the process we get a lot of spaceship fights  fistfights  blaster fights and more doublecrosses than you can shake a stick at  theres so much pointless scifi banter its too much to take  the galaxy here is a total ripoff of the  star wars  universe the creators dont bother filling in the basic details which makes the story confusing  the characters unmotivated and superficial and the plot just plain boring  despite the fantastic animation and special effects  its just not an interesting movie  
neg	in the year 2029  captain leo davidson  mark wahlberg   boogie nights   is training his chimp pericles to pilot a pod from the usaf oberon space station  when an electromagnetic storm is encountered and pericles pod is lost  davidson sets out unauthorized and lands thousands of years in the future on the  planet of the apes   maybe if 20th century fox had set the proverbial 100 chimps in front of typewriters they would have gotten a better results than this adaptation of the pierre boulle novel by william broyles jr    cast away    and lawrence konner  mark d  rosenthal   mighty joe young    director tim burtons unique look and style are nowhere to be found in this silly  pointless remake  davidson no sooner lands than he finds himself being swarmed by savages running in terror  whom he wisely joins  however  hes rounded up with the lot of them by the apes which rule this plant and handed over to slave trader limbo  paul giamatti   duets    ari  helena bonham carter   fight club    daughter of the illustrious senator sandar  david warner   titanic   and simian bleeding heart  believes humans should live with apes on equal standing  an unpopular notion  she takes a liking to leo  who she deems unusual   general thade  tim roth   lucky numbers   is of the opposite opinion  wishing for declaration of martial law that will allow him to annihilate the race  hes sweet on ari  its relatively easy to see where this new story is going from the onset  yet its ultimate revelation has gaping logic holes  the much ballyhooed surprise ending is a nonsensical let down  an attempt at a love triangle  conveyed by ari and the human daena  estella warren   driven   giving each other back off looks over leo  fails because he never develops a relationship with either of them  the lone sex scene is some hilarious foreplay between elder orangutan senator nado  glenn shadix  and his trophy wife nova  burtons squeeze  lisa marie   guffaws will also likely greet charlton hestons cameo as thades father  the one ape harboring a firearm    who sputters some very familiar lines before dying  the only real success of the 2001  planet of the apes  is rick bakers makeup  and even thats an iffy affair  no attempt was made to change the human whiteness of the actors eyes  a real distraction amidst some otherwise impressive work  roth  warner and michael clarke duncan  as thades right hand man attar  are given the most impressive makeovers  giamatti looks more like a skull than an ape and the female apes are too humanized to be given sexual appeal  tim roth delivers the most impressive acting job by getting the body language right  his nasty chimpanzee character leaps about  most spectacularly when mounting his steed  but evens hes undone by some obvious wire work  bonham carter delivers a goodly range of emotion from behind a stiff prosthetic  but is undone in turn by the silliness of the writing  most of the film has a set bound look which no amount of mist can cover  the apes city resembles a dank complex of tree houses  the apes military costumes  colleen atwood   sleepy hollow   as well as their field tents are reminiscent of eiko ishiokas work on coppolas  dracula   that oriental flavor is also found in danny elfmans tribal  percussive score   planet of the apes  was the last blockbuster hope for the summer of 2001  a dismal movie season thats going to the dogs  
neg	writing a screenplay for a thriller is hard  harder than pouring concrete under the texas sun  harder than building a bridge over troubled waters  and incidentally  a whole heck of a lot harder than writing a movie review  thrillers are all variations on a theme  you have a smart  resourceful  and powerful bad guy  who has a goal he has to meet  you have a noble and brave good guy  who has to protect the innocent  kill the bad guy  and not get killed himself in the process  the trick of thriller writing is doing all of this in an interesting and novel manner  this simple formula can lead to classic movies like north by northwest  high noon  or silence of the lambs  or big summer blockbusters like men in black  the fugitive  or air force one  or it can lead to utter dreck like masterminds  event horizon  kull the conqueror     is anyone else getting depressed here  point is  its not enough to follow the formula  youve got to throw in something extra  something good and new and better than the last version  something to surprise and move all of us people who buy the tickets and the popcorn and the happy meals  this is a hard thing to do  but it is absolutely necessary in every way  without that something extra  whether its a great plot or a wellwritten screenplay  or great special effects or great locations or great casting or great performances or great big hungry dinosaurs  the movie fails  thats why the jackal  with all its starpower  with all its budget  with all its hype  gets a big fat f  bruce willis is the bad guy  the jackal  a legendary killer for hire  richard gere is the good guy  a former ira assassin with a vendetta against the jackal  the jackal is trying to kill someone  gere is trying to stop him  will gere be able to stop the assassination in time and kill the jackal   ill give you three guesses  and the first two dont count   there are no surprises awaiting the audience in the jackal  no moment when you say to yourself   i wonder what happens next   the script for the jackal isnt ripped straight from todays headlines  its ripped off  straight from an episode of millennium  throughout the movie  we learn what the jackals plans are and how he intends to accomplish them  no surprise  the fun of a movie like this should come from richard gere figuring out what the jackals plan is and developing a clever plan to foil the bad guy  instead  we get two  count em  two  scenes where gere is sitting in an fbi conference room somewhere and instantly divines the jackals plan just as if hes frank black  or more likely  just as if hes been handed a copy of the script   and we never get more than a superficial clue as to why gere has had this flash of insight  its like geres character is psychic  but neither he nor the fbi  or the screenwriters  seem to know it  and just like in millennium  the bad guy has an overwhelming need to go after the people the good guy cares about  whether or not they are important to what hes trying to do or not  whats more  in the last half of the movie  the jackal  supposedly a supersmart professional terrorist who never makes a mistake  comes down with a major case of the stupids  as for the performances    bruce willis manages to get through the whole movie without a wisecrack  which is a major achievement  but not enough reason to see the movie  his disguises are good  but not as good or as interesting as val kilmers in the saint  richard gere is made to talk the entire movie in an irish accent  which detracts from his otherwise lifeless and dull performance  sidney poitier is probably the most disappointing element in a overwhelmingly disappointing movie  not that his performance is bad or anything  its not  but it is sad that hollywood wont use this talented actor in any part other than an fbi agent  shoot to kill  sneakers   writing a good plot and a good screenplay  like i said  is hard  but it can be done  it wasnt done here  it is our job as consumers to reward good screenplays and to denounce bad and uninteresting ones  do not go see this movie  youll only encourage the producers to make more just like it  instead  stay home and rent day of the jackal  or in the line of fire  or a fire safety video  for crying out loud  anything other than the jackal  which lives up to its name by gnawing the dead bones of other  better movies  
neg	all right  all right  we get the point  despite all similarities to the bestselling story  speechless is  not  based on the romance between 1992 presidential campaign rivals james carville and mary matalin  in fact  the script was in development well before 1992  still  the comparisons are inevitable  until one realizes a critical difference  no  its not that the speechless twosome are speech writers  not campaign managers  its that carville and matalins story is actually interesting  speechless is a limp  poorly structured wouldbe romantic comedy  speechless is set during a new mexico senatorial campaign  where kevin vallick  michael keaton  and julia mann  geena davis  meet and get romantic one night when neither one can sleep  what neither one realizes is that they are on opposite sides of the campaign  kevin is a sitcom writer brought in to punch up the republican candidates speeches  while julia is the chief speech writer for the democratic candidate  at first each one believes that the other has an ulterior motive for the relationship  but eventually they let down their guard and become closer  but there are plent of obstacles in the way  including julias studreporter fiance  christopher reeve  and a series of stunts which continue to prove that alls fair in love and politics  the standard formula for a movie like speechless would have the two principles starting out as antagonists and realizing only at the end that theyre crazy about each other  screenwriter robert king completely subverts expectations by throwing kevin and julia into each others arms in the first fifteen minutes  then developing the antagonism  its a noble attempt to shake things up  but unfortunately it just doesnt work  part of the fun of watching sparring in a romantic comedy comes from recognizing the chemistry even before the characters do  but in speechless they already know theyre attracted to each other  and were left with waiting for the campaign to end so theyll admit that they love each other already  there is such a herkyjerky feel to the constant bickering and making up that even kings sharp dialogue cant prevent speechless from becoming repetitive after about half an hour  inconsistency is also the defining characteristic of the performances of geena davis and michael keaton  and with those performances most of their scenes together  the problems begin with their initial courtship  which does virtually nothing to establish julias character and merely establishes that kevin is a wiseass  davis is radiantly beautiful  and keaton is generally entertaining  but these characters are so plastic that nothing that happens to them seems to matter one bit  in a couple of scenes  like a quiet moment sitting at a fountain  they actually achieve some measure of connection  for the most part  however  theyre just actors spouting lines  you keep waiting for a little spark  and it never happens  perhaps most disappointing is that king and director ron underwood completely waste their premise by removing all the punch from speechlesss politics  the setting seems perfect for a high energy battle of the sexes with partisanship thrown into the mix  but thats never the tone that underwood is going for  he wants a warm  fuzzy romance compatible with marc shaimans fluteandwind musical score  and the campaign which should have defined the conflict between kevin and julia fades into the background  it might as well have been a story about rival grocers  and every single character is about as uninspired as he or she could possibly be  i was about the only reviewer in the civilized world who seemed to enjoy robert kings previous screenplay  the dana carvey flop clean slate  so i had some hopes for speechless  but while there is wit in the words  this is a script which was probably much better on paper  on screen  its still paper thin  
neg	teenagers have a lot of power in hollywood  every year countless films will be made targeting that audience in particular  and rely on the entire teenage population to turn out on friday and saturday nights  wallets in hand  the formula is very simple  you make a film with a big name young actor or actress with sex appeal  you add a high school environment that features everyone from prom queens to math club nerds  and then a very simple relationship conflict that can be worked out in 90 minutes  the typical teenage attention span  the response is enormous as this part of the population will waste it92s money on almost any  film set in an environment they can relate to  and  most importantly  they don92t care to judge films92 quality  so any piece of trash will  due  that is just what never been kissed  the latest film from director raja gosnell  is  trash  josie geller  drew barrymore  is the youngest copy editor in the history of the chicago sun times  she has her own personal assistant  unlimited supplies  and her own office  but she is very much dismayed with her position in life  there is nothing she wants more than to be a reporter and go out into the field  where she can play a more active role in the chicago media  so when an assignment is quite literally thrown at her out of nowhere  she jumps at it with elation  constantly smothering josie in the work place is her friend anita  molly shannon  and her amicable superior  gus  john c  reilly   the two of them are both stricken with horror upon hearing the news of her first assignment  as they both deem her to be an office worker and not a reporter  however  since this film is aimed at a teenage audience with little patience for character conflict  this otherwise interesting scenario is resolved within two minutes  and josie is headed for the field  obviously  the field assignment involves a high school  specifically  she is to become an undercover reporter at a high school  by enrolling in the senior class and  becoming one of them   i don92t think that i  need to even begin to explain all the impossibilities of this situation ever occurring  so i won92t  the movie develops into josie trying to find the life that she never led in high school  interwoven flashback scenes show us just how much of a dork she truly was  and she appears to be heading down that road again  fortunately for this lame production  other characters do appear that make some of these high school scenes both humorous and remotely interesting  they include the predictable love stories  between both a student  jeremy jordan  and a teacher  michael vartan   to show that josie is really two people in one body  also  her younger brother and opposite  rob  david arquette  comes into her new found life and even causes a rare scene that is mildly provocative  the humor found in this film is actually quite amusing  typical for teenage films  it is chalk full of sexual innuendoes and condom humor  one scene in particular features a certain classroom activity involving bananas and latex that is absolutely hysterical  most of the other jokes are straight forward high school humor that anyone who has ever been to high school can appreciate and will enjoy  but those still don92t  recover for the total lack of quality in this movie  following this trend of high school movie rules  comes the general acting  it is even worse than the trend of overplaying a scenario from film to film  in this case  drew barrymore is absolutely painful to watch  she is required to play her character on two levels  having some very black and white transitions  and although some scenes are written to be particular shades of gray  she seems to hold that color throughout all of her screen time  at one point she is alone with an obvious love interest on a ferris wheel  and is expected to him on an adult level  since he is one  her teacher  but she never seems to get out of the gray area  and in doing so she makes a mockery out of his otherwise good performance  following barrymore is the pitiful molly shannon  saturday night live   she seems to be limited to playing an ecstatic character that no one can relate to  and draws the attention of an audience as simply unrealistic  it is these  qualities  that prevent the aforementioned condom scene from being one of the few decent  luckily there is one great performance to emerge out of this otherwise bleak film  david arquette  scream  takes home the prize for being able to stand out in an ensemble performance that is absolutely pathetic  and not have his brilliant acting ruined  and as a central character he gets to take on his own miniplot  which is one of the few well done parts of never been kissed  in a dazzling cherryonthesundae type piece of work  he does an absolutely hilarious tom cruise impression from the 1983 hit  risky business  never been kissed is a mediocre film at best  the predictable plot has become so overplayed in hollywood  that it is sickening to watch time and again  and this film is no exception  the acting is just as bad  but there is the one positive presence of david arquette to add some light  unfortunately  the bottom line is that the movie will be a success  because teenagers will pay to see any trash  
neg	walken stars as a mobster who is kidnapped and held for ransom by four bratty rich kids  it seems that a woman has also been kidnappedshe is the sister of one of them  e  t  s henry thomas  and the girlfriend of another  flannery  and the asking price is 2 million  which said snots are unable to cough up alone  they even cut off walkens finger to show they mean business  because they are desperate to save the womans life  suicide kings is a terrible film  walken aside  there isnt a single appealing cast member  ofallon creates characters that are functional types without any resonance  in an amusingly unironic scene  walken plays poker with the foursome and describes each of their personalities to a teeits as if he was reading the summary sheet for a casting director  the plot is another issue entirely  ofallon is someone whom im betting has seen reservoir dogs and the usual suspects too many times  for not only does his story veer off on bizarre tangents from whence they never return  do we really need the scene where dennis leary beats up an abusive father with a toaster  which is entirely unrelated to both the story and learys character  or the numerous anecdotal sequences    but the central plot itself is a serpentine mess  filled with crosses and double crosses and triple crosses    by the fourth big revelationtwist  i had completely tuned out  wondering what on earth attracted these actors to the material  recently a peer  a fellow young filmmaker  informed me that he had an idea for a movie about four guys  the mob  and the fbi  it occurred to me then whats wrong with indies like suicide kings  i suspect ofallon has never met a mobster  is not a rich man  doesnt deliver endless  clever  monologues to his friends about his favourite types of boots    in short  these guys are just riffing on other movies  and in doing that  making the same film over and over and over again  tarantino found his niche and now hundreds of genxers with movie cameras are trying to find tarantinos niche instead of carving their own  reviewed at the toronto international film festival 
neg	from writer and director darren stein comes jawbreaker  the poorly told tale of what can happen when an innocent birthday prank goes wrong  at reagan high  four girls are sitting on top of the world  courtney shane  played by rose mcgowan  holds the title of meanest  most disrespectful soul in the school  everyone hates her  but everyone envies her due to her popularity  courtney is the  leader  of her clique  which also includes julie  played by rebecca gayheart  liz purr  played by charlotte roldan  and marcie  played by julie benz are the other three in the group  it is lizs seventeenth birthday  and julie  courtney  and marcie concur that they will play a seemingly innocent prank on her  but the prank results in the death of liz  just like stupid teens in any teen directed film such as this one  the foursome decide to cover up the death to make it look like a murder committed by someone else  and also just like in other teen directed movies  one of the four dont agree with hiding it  this time that character being julie  and finally  just like in other teen movies  there is a witness outside the group trying to hide the truth  this time that character being fern mayo  judy greer   who is subject to many cracks from courtneys group  as well as the entire school  from here  jawbreaker turns into a predictable tale of revenge  bad morals  and at least trying to do the right thing  not only is the script weak  on a whole the acting is horrid thanks to a large amount of the main cast  judy greer is undeniably awful as her one dimensional  annoying character  as she overacts every line she has  also on the bad side of acting is julie benz  almost falling to the annoying factor that greer delivers  on the positive side of acting  rose mcgowan performs well here  but doesnt match her wickedly clever performance as  tatum   in 1996s scream  mcgowans role is annoying  but this only adds to the film  she is wickedly mean  and even though she a wellwritten character  you downright hate her  faring even better than mcgowan is rebecca gayheart  who is always exceptionally believable as her roles  when the script feeds her a one or two dimensional character  she turns it into three  always putting strong emotion and power into her roles  gayheart isnt given as much to do here as she was in 1998s urban legend  but you can still get a strong taste of her acting skills in jawbreaker  jawbreaker drifts and mianders different sub plots throughout  hardly throwing anything for the viewer to get absorbed in  we get way off of the topic of the jawbreaker incident  and get into things that dont have anything to do with the actual film  the beginning and ending are strong  its just the middle that needs a lot of help  during the body of the movie  it is undeniably repetitive  never progressing towards a conclusion  nothing to grab the viewers interest is around  and the same  extremely annoying song plays over and over again  jawbreaker tries to get off on the same time of humor used in the 1995 film clueless  but falls flat  the few gags that actually work die off quickly and die off with a bang  all in all  a horrible disappointment  the bottom line  the tagline reads   even the sweetest candies are sour as death inside   yes  that is too true  no matter how good this film may have looked  it fails to deliver  
neg	well there goes another one  sadly this like other movies this year wasnt good  this one being almost as bad as the omega code but not quite  from the opening credits i had a good feeling this would be bad  and well i guess i was right  with bad excuses for acting  a horrible screenplay and straightout bad direction the bachelor is a terribly unfunny movie that doesnt work on any levels accept that fact that rene zellwegar who does give a good performance  the two cameos by brooke shields and mariah carey are also good with brooke being the best  the movie is troubled from the start because chris odonnell is hugely miscast and gives one of the worst performances to date  here is the stupid plot  chris odonnell plays jimmie shelton a man who has just broken up with his girlfriend  he meets anne  rene zellwegar  they instantly hit it off and are together for three years  jimmie decides that he wants to bring their relationship a little bit up  he really doesnt realize that anne thinks he wants to marry her  what he wants i never did catch   so he proposes in a really bad way  and she shoots him down and is very mad  he of course tries to apologize but nothing seems to help any  then his grandfather dies and he learns that he has left jimmie 100 million dollars     as long as he marries before the next day at 6  05 pm  now jimmie must find anne and try to marry her to get the money and because he loves her  or get married to someone else to get the money itself  leading to an unfunny and predictable ending that leaves a bad taste in our mouths  ok so maybe this could be one of the dumbest  cliched  silliest romantic comedy to date that has no real big laughs  even the supporting roles of artie lange  hal holbrook and ed anser arent even good  the plot was a good idea  but the script would have to have been written in less than five minutes and by a five year old  the choppy dialogue and bad directing dont help things any  even though chris odonnell gave an ok performance in the two batman movies  he does not give even a remotely good or funny performance here and i wanted to boo and throw my pop at the screen to get rid of him  rene zelweggar is a different story and gave a charming  sweet and likable performance  as usual  and really was the only thing that saved this confused movie from being a total huge washout  her sister played by marley shelton is also good and the two have good chemistry onscreen  brooke shields showed up in a funny little performance as a bigheaded mogul who after a while became routine and old  one really cant help but think that we have seen this stuff before  its not like this is an original idea and in the end  everyone knows what is going to happen due do its cliches and typicalness  the bachelor works on no good levels and in fact doesnt work at all  ed anser and hal holbrook were wasted in terrible roles and mariah carey can not act to save her soul  and this could be the only film of her movie career dispite her terrific music career  chris odonnell is not as bad an actor as casper van dien but that is not saying a great deal  he seems held back and really doesnt get into his character much and after even the first 30 minutes gets annoying and old  artie lange just to me seems like he is trying to another chris farley and was completely unfunny and unnerving  why the filmmakers would want to waste such a cast in such a bad movie  with such bad acting and dialogue is a question only they will know  maybe they thought it would become a hit or a critical success  and sometimes i dont agree with other critics on movies  even from the trailers for this film they made it look bad and showed all the mildly funny parts  its based on the 1925 silent film seven chances which i am sure is very better than this mess  even though some may think of this as a good date movie  most who see this will want to pull out thier hair and scream for thier money back  besides being a terrible movie  the bachelor is well a terrible movie  it has nothing worth recommending therefore i really cant recommend this movie  i did not have a good time and i laughed only three times  the running time of the movie is 106 minutes which is wayyyy over time and needs to be shortened at least thirty minutes  parts of it seems to go on forever and parts of seem to not last enough time  being one of the worst movies of the year  we can be sure that i hope they will not make anymore stupid unfunny romantic comedies  and if they do they i give up on filmmakers  
neg	my inner flag was at halfmast last year when nick at nite pulled  dragnet  reruns off the air  sure  id seen them all at least once  but i could always count on at least a few inadvertent laughs from ultraserious jack webb when there was nothing else on tv  even though  dragnet  is out of circulation at the moment  we webb antifans still have the d  i   a 50s propaganda piece for the military that is almost as hilarious as the famous  blue boy  episode of  dragnet   for anyone like me who got laughs out of webbs rapidfire speeches and straightfaced seriousness  think of the d  i  as what would happen if sgt  joe friday ever enlisted  because he plays exactly the same character here  a nononsense old fart who looks with disdain at the younger generation and loves to give long winded  melodramatic speeches on any topic  in this election year  im more convinced than ever that webb and bob dole were separated at birth  the movie opens in characteristic fashion as one recruit after another knocks on webbs office door and enters  he gives each one a different series of cranky criticisms before the credits come up  the  produced and directed by jack webb  card pretty much goes without saying  this is his movie all the way  and after the first twenty minutes of him chewing out his recruits for no reason  i was wondering if there would even be a plot  i certainly would have been entertained by an hour and a half of trademark webb rants  but the d  i  gives us more  much more  webbs mission is to make a man out of private owens  the local screwup  the captain gives webb three days to convert owens into marine material or  the captain will  personally cut the lace off his panties and ship him out myself    whether the  lace panties  part refers to webb or owens remains unanswered   this  of course  gives webb an excuse to focus all his crotchety energy on making owens life a living hell  for those of you who havent been indoctrinated into the pleasures of webb watching  heres a reprint of a typical monologue of his  i cant duplicate his hilarious delivery on paper  but the words should at least partially convey what im talking about     now you listen to me  youngster  someday youll wake up fighting on a beach and youll pray to god somebody doesnt get killed because of your foolishness    ive got a headline for you  every time you make one of those little mistakes of yours  youre gonna turn around and ill be standing right there   i couldnt write down all the reprintable dialogue from the d  i   nearly all of it belongs in the bad movie hall of fame   but i tried to include some of the more noteworthy lines  like one from the scene where webb unwinds from a hard days work by going to the local bar  where he orders a tomato juice   he meets a woman who  coincidentally  also orders tomato juice but walks away from a typicallystimulating conversation with webb to flirt with his archrival  another marine d  i  webb marches over to the table  gets up in her face and says   just what kind of a dame do you think you are   bogart he aint  the other d  i  gets one of the few memorable nonwebb lines when he confesses to the girl   hes a damn good d  i     i guess im just a little jealous   join the club  were all jealous of jack webbs way with women  which is showcased even more amusingly in a later scene  as webb finds his way to the womans place of employment  a lingerie store  and stands around looking incredibly flustered at the negligees on display   you expect me to talk to you    in here    he exclaims  no doubt intimidated by the barrage of bras  the woman goes off to help a customer  leaving webb to fend for himself once again in this palace of estrogen  a little girl spots him in the store and demands   what are you doing in here    youre a man  arent you   he doesnt reply  but you know hes thinking in his head   what an odd species of human  so small  must be one of those children everyones been talking about   this poor girl  scarred for life by her early encounter with jack webb  would later swear off the male gender entirely  just one of the many lesbian conversions hes responsible for  the movie doesnt focus too closely on webbs romance  it also continues the owens subplot with probably the most memorable scene in the entire movie  where webb forces his platoon to spend the entire night searching the ground for a flea owens killed during one of their drills  after two privates hatch a scheme to present webb with the wrong dead flea  webb asks owens   was that flea you killed a male or female   owens replies   a male  sir   webb yells to the platoon   this aint the one   that such a scene  along with the rest of the movie  was intended to be taken seriously defies comment  but we know it was all presented with the utmost seriousness when a title card at the end thanks the marines not only for their cooperation in the making of the d  i   but for iwo jima  guadalcanal and every other major battle of the first half of the 20th century  webb held the military in such high esteem that all the soldiers in the movie  with the exception of owens  were played by actual marines  someone wanting to parody this movie couldnt do a more comical job than webb did  it makes it all the more ironic  like raeeyain on your wedding day  that the man had no sense of humor himself  theres a scene in the movie where the guys are on their break time discussing something and one of them breaks into laughter  webb bursts in the room and shouts   what did i tell you about laughing    to which the private replies   sir  only nineyearold girls laugh  sir   and let me tell you  i was as happy as a nineyear old girl while watching this movie  
neg	frank detorris  bill murray  a single dad who lives on beer and junk food with no apparent understanding of sanitation or hygiene  much to the dismay of his preteen daughter shane  elena franklin   when he uses the 10 second rule to retrieve a hard boiled egg from a chimps cage at the zoo and downs it  he introduces a lethal bacteria into his system  inside his skin  the city of frank is in turmoil thanks to the votepandering of mayor phlegmming  voice of william shatner   so its up to one frank pd white blood cell  voice of chris rock  to save the day in peter and bobby farrellys  osmosis jones   the city of frank is a brightly animated  animation directed by piet kroon and tom sito  cellular municipality where osmosis jones is a typical rogue cop looking for another chance  hes inadvertently teamed up with drix  voice of david hyde pierce  tvs  frasier    a cold capsule with 12 hours worth of painkillers to dispense  this quarrelling duo are about to go on a  fantastic voyage  in order to hunt down thrax  voice of laurence fishburne   the virus intent on shutting down frank  while the animation is certainly colorful to look at  osmosis jones story is a hackneyed one  the story cries out for puny puns  but we only get occasional sprinklings of wit or bodily humor  drix graduated phi beta capsule  he departs on a bus headed for bladder   neither the hero or villain is particularly interesting  thrax looks like an animated  predator    although hyde pierce is a delightful sidekick  adults can desperately keep their eyes peeled for small amusements the animators dot along the landscape  meanwhile  back in live action land  bill murray is reduced to nothing more than a walking grossout joke  theres no particular enjoyment to be found watching him vomit on molly shannon  she plays shanes teacher  mrs  boyd  or hoisting his ingrown toenail onto a restaurant table  one must wonder how the climatic flatlining of a childs father will play to the family audience as well  rest assured  the whole enchilada is wrapped up with a fart joke  while far less offensive than the farrellys last effort  me  myself and irene   that film at least spiked some comic highs with jim carreys hijinx   osmosis jones  will probably be ok for the kids  but the farrellys playing for the family audience is like watching marilyn manson croon a phil collins tune  
neg	woof  too bad that leap of faith was the title of a 1992 comedy starring steve martin and debra winger  because thats whats required to watch this incredulous howler starring bruce willis asof all thingsa psychologist  not since the reagan administration has there been an acting stretch of such magnitude  alas  mickey rourke  we hardly knew ye  story opens with a campy kickwillis is treating a patient who abruptly steps out of the window to take the best flying leap since charles durning dove in the hudsucker proxy  she goes splat  he goes ugh  and his character spends the rest of the film colorblind  really  the good doctor then moves to sunny l  a   where he rooms with an old college chum  scott bakula   a therapist whos getting death threats from someone in his monday evening group  buddy bites it in the second reel  no surprise there  and willis agrees to take over both the group and the death threats  for his troubles as therapy man  willis gets to share some cutfromnc17 love scenes with the lovers jane march while dodging nails  cars  and rattlesnakes  whyd it have to be snakes  color of night is the worst movie of the year  period  forget north  clifford  or  heaven help us  even on deadly ground  here is a movie misfire so audaciously awful that you cant help but wonder how the actors all kept straight faces while filming  for starters  the  group  is a collection of mixed nuts better suited to bob newhart than bruce willis  these are realistic portrayals of the mentally unhealthy  playing a prissy obsessivecompulsive  cuckoos nest alumni brad dourif  alone  may set the psychology profession back ten years  the plots a wreck with laughable dialogue  pointless pov shifts  and the one big secret solvable in the first fifteen minutes  director richard rush  who once helmed freebie and the bean  doesnt seem to mind  unfazed by the nincompoop plot and cuckoo characterizations  he overfills the film with enough canny camera shots and zany setpieces to make the effort almost worth watching  his token freeway chase is ok  but the director has more fun with a vertiginous ending ala  most recently  fatal analysis  acting credits are acrosstheboard awful  willis can be forgiven because hes filming die hard 3 as we speak  but what about ruben blades insulting presence as the cop  or lesley ann warrens stereotypical sex addict  or worst offender jane march as a mysterygirlwhosnorealmystery  shudder  bottom line  how they all kept straight faces  ill never know  
neg	theres only one presidential election every four years  but it seems like every few months we get another presidential conspiracy movie painted as the thriller of the year  in 1997  weve had absolute power  air force one  shadow conspiracy and murder at 1600  this one is about as lame duck as old gerald ford  trying to bring us a complex plot of coverup and intrigue but copping out over and over again with rehashes of action flick standbys  heres what happens this time  its night at the white house  a secretary is having sex with some unidentified guy with a cute butt  the next day shes dead and hotshot detective wesley snipes is called in  how do we know hes a hotshot  weve seen the traditional action flick opener  the clever hostage negotiation scene  its not so clever this time  consisting of snipes disarming a suicidal exgovernment employee holding a gun to his head in the middle of the street  snipes is off to the white house  where he finds the secret service head  the shiny bald head of daniel benzali  wont cooperate with him at all  in fact  if not for the intervention of national security adviser alan alda  snipes wouldnt have been allowed in the white house at all  alda helps snipes out further  assigning a sexy secret service agent  diane lane  to act as his liaison    a very dangerous liaison  well  not really  i just wanted to say that  almost immediately  a suspect is found  an eccentric night janitor seen flirting with the deceased on one of the security videos  snipes doesnt buy it  and launches into an independent investigation of his own  one that reveals planted evidence and romantic involvement by the presidents son  snipes partner  an always wisecracking dennis miller  calls him up every once in awhile with more news and lane  who at first doesnt believe snipes  eventually and predictably comes around  and risks her ass to break into social security storage and break out some classified information  for the first hour or so  murder at 1600 looks like it could be going somewhere interesting  sure  we have to sit through the lame opening sequence and plenty more lame scenes after that  but the whole murder in the white house thing makes for an interesting premise that is never quite delivered upon  snipes and lane dont make for a bad action team  but with nothing to work with  theyre just cogs in the bad movie machine  dennis miller might as well not even be in the movie  they waste his talents more in murder at 1600 than they did in bordello of blood  and thats saying a lot  when you get to the last halfhour  the movie has descended metaphorically and literally into a wet sewer  busting out the old breakintothebuilding underground climax  and when they finally reveal who killed the woman and why  youll wish you never sat through this movie at all  the  1600  in the movies title doesnt represent an address  it represents the number of satisfied customers worldwide  serving the world for nearly 125th of a century  
neg	ah  and 1999 was going along so well  too   shes all that  has the dubious distinction of being the worst movie ive seen so far this year  and quite frankly  i doubt ill see anything equally bad   at least  i  hope  i dont see anything equally bad    shes all that  tells the story of the most popular guy in school  played by freddie prinze jr   who accepts a bet to transform the geekiest girl in school  rachel leigh cook  into the most popular  that  right there  is problem 1  how many times have we seen this storyline  as cook comments near the end of the film   its kind of like  pretty woman   except without the prostitution   of course  had the filmmakers attempted to try something new with this material  the wellworn storyline would have been a device to propell the movie forward  as it is  though   shes all that  relies  completely  on the lame and overused formula to push it ahead  theres not one original or interesting character in the film  either  and if that wasnt bad enough  theres not one good performance featured  the star of the movie  rachel leigh cook  is simply horrible  i usually dont like to get so personal  but in this case  i think it needs to be said  cook wears the same expression throughout the flick and looks to be having as miserable a time as i was  i was never convinced that she was a  nerd   and her transformation was unconvincing and unnecessary  the movie seems to be saying its better to be popular than to be who you are  as for freddie prinze jr   an actor i ordinarily enjoy  he too is quite bad here  he coasts through the film on socalled charm  and never establishes a real character  kieren culkin is here  too  as the brother of cook  and for some indiscernable reason  hes got hearing aids  no explanation is given and theyre never brought up  were we supposed to feel  sorry  for him just because he wore hearing aids  i dont think so  that single element of the film was one of the most offensive things ive seen in a movie in a long time   shes all that  sucks  thats what it boils down to  its not entertaining  and its not even a good time passer  the hour and a half running time goes by slower than a 5 minute hairremoval system informercial  and whats worse  it sends out a bad message to teens  it appears to be telling them   hey  it doesnt matter if youre happy the way you are  thats unimportant  if you want to  truly  be happy  dress in the latest fashions and act like a bubbleheaded moron   ugh  
neg	michael robbins hardball is quite the cinematic achievement  in about two hours  we get a glancing examination of ghetto life  a funeral with a heartfelt eulogy  speeches about never giving up  a cache of cute kids  including a fat one with asthma   a hardluck gambler who finds salvation in a good woman and a climactic  big game   where the underdogs prove to have a bigger bite than anyone ever imagined  all thats needed is a guy getting hit in the nuts and a food fight to have the first film solely based on cinematic clich  s  i cant wait to see the deleted scenes when it comes out on dvd  obviously  hardball is a strikeout of a movie that never gets the bat anywhere near the ball  it stars keanu reeves as the aforementioned gambler  who seems to owe every bookie in chicago an amount of money that rivals the gross national product of guam  out of solutions  he begs his successful corporate friend  the always welcome mike mcglone  to lend him 5  000  instead  mcglone offers reeves the chance to help him coach a youth baseball team from the projects for a nice weekly stipend  reeves  who wants to keep his fingers  accepts the offer  but discovers mcglone is only too happy to let him handle the team entirely  the drowsyvoiced protagonist must teach the sassy inner city kids the baseball basics in a life of absentee parents and merciless gangs  and maybe  just maybe  theyll play in the big championship game  one of the glorious surprises in the screenplay by john gatins  summer catch   adapted from daniel coyles nonfiction book  is that there arent any  the movie coasts from heartfelt moment to heartfelt moment like a zombie  that wouldnt be so bad  if the characters had an ounce of subtlety or humanity to them  most of the kids time is spent yelling at each other  talking in slang and acting surprised  theres little thats naturally amusing about them  as they all seem to know the cameras are rolling  the worst of the lot is a toughtalking younger player  dewayne warren  whose sole purpose  as the movie unfolds  is being an emotional pawn  a tactic so utterly despicable i cant find the right words to express myself  the adults also dont fare well  reeves is impressively uninspiring as the downonhisluck loser  the character is poorly written  but reeves gives another charismafree performance  every time he speaks  he sounds like he just got up from a long nap and is gradually waking up  kids are supposed to rally around this guy  diane lane  who costars as reeves obligatory love interest  remains a glowing screen presence  see my dog skip for better proof   its too bad that her role here consists of uttering lines like   these kids trust you  and they dont trust anyone   then theres d  b  sweeney as an evil rival coach and john hawkes as reeves scummy betting buddy and other unoriginal characters youve seen before and hope never to see again  i wanted hardball to be good  robbins varsity blues was a funny and alternately taut tale of texas high school football that had ali larter smothered in whipped cream and jon voight sneering at everything that moved  i havent seen robbins goofy ready to rumble in its entirety  but i am intrigued that  macho man  randy savage and martin landau can exist in the same movie without there being serious worldwide repercussions  robbins obviously needs to go back to his forte  making sports movies for guys and not cutesy  cuddly pap such as hardball  which also manages to annoy and insult the audience  heres hoping that happens in the immediate future  
neg	you know something  christmas is not about presents  its about overhyped holiday films with lots of merchandising and product tieins  at least that would seem to be the message of  the grinch   which has been advertised since last christmas and whose logo is currently plastered all over stores  hollywood expects us to ignore this cynical greed as the movie scolds us about losing the true spirit of the season  you know the plot  theres this evil furry green guy called the grinch  jim carrey  who lives on a mountain overlooking whoville  down below all the whos are preparing for their whobilation  but the grinch is determined to steal their christmas  the movie is  of course  a liveaction version of the beloved childrens book  which was previously adapted into a 1966 tv special by looney tunes animator chuck jones  its rare that a big budget hollywood release is shamed by a thirtyyearold halfhour cartoon  but thats the case when jones version is compared to ron howards  the tv grinch hit all the right notes  boris karloffs soft  deep narration  thurl ravenscroft singing  mr  grinch   max the dog weighed down by the gigantic antler tied to his head  and the grinchs wide  toothless grin  by contrast  the movie hits one sour note after another  first  there are the numerous bad choices that jeffrey price and peter seaman made in padding out the short book into a 105minute movie  young wideeyed cindy lou who  taylor momsen  is depressed about the misplaced priorities of her parents  bill irwin and molly shannon  during the holiday season  she begins to sympathize with the grinch  who turns out to be surprisingly sympathetic  cindy lou discovers that the grinch turned tearfully away from whoville in grammar school when he was publicly humiliated while expressing his love for the prettiest girl in the class  martha may whovier  played as an adult by christine baranski   are we expected to like the grinch  hate the whos  and want him to steal christmas  the grinch isnt even the villain here  that role is filled by the corrupt mayor of whoville  jeffrey tambor  who was the grinchs rival for marthas affection  not only are the characters needlessly complex  but the oncesimple plot becomes so convoluted that the actual theft of christmas seems like an afterthought  the casting choices arent any better than the screenwriting decisions  jim carrey seems woefully miscast  while his face is so supple that the rubber makeup seems superfluous  carrey brings nothing else to the role  his accent keeps changing  i assume he was shooting for karloff  but he ends up sounding like a weird slurry of richard nixon  sean connery  and cartman from  south park   not knowing what else to do during his many scenes alone in the grinchs home  carrey falls back on his standup comedy and clowns around ace venturastyle  needless to say  his wisecracking antics dont quite fit the character of the grinch  who is an embittered loner filled with hate  little taylor momsen brings little to role of cindy lou except big eyes and a cute smile  she would have been fine if cindy lou was limited to her original purpose in the seuss story  finding  santa  in her living room stealing the tree   however  the expanded script makes cindy as important as the grinch  and momsen is not up to the challenge  bottom line  when youre stealing christmas  movies   leave this one behind  
neg	in the mid1980s  following the splendid debut in hugh hudsons greystoke and relative success of first highlander film  it looked like christopher lamberts acting career might go somewhere  but  it wasnt meant to be  which became obvious following highlander ii  in this decade christopher lambert became associated with films with low budgets and even lower quality  very often such films were science fiction  which meant that the fans of that genre learned the hard way what to evade anything starring christopher lambert  whether it was because of real lack of talent  terrible miscasting or simple bad luck isnt important  the end result was almost always horrible  the same can be said for fortress  1993 science fiction film directed by stuart gordon  director who created cult following with his 1980s horror gorefests like reanimator and from beyond  the movie is set in 2018  for some undisclosed reason  usa introduced strict population control and couples are barred from having more than one child  jake  christopher lambert  and karen brennick  lori laughlin  broke that law and are caught by authorities on the border  sentenced to 31 years in prison  they are both thrown into fortress  privately owned correctional facility  equiped with stateoftheart futuristic technology and run by computer called zed  although equiped with gismos that regulate every aspect of inmates lives and make any escape impossible  prison authorities often use violence  jake survives many ordeals and earns respect of some inmates which would help him when he begins planing the escape  such escape should become necessity  because the warden poe  kurtwood smith  begins showing unhealthy interest in karen  after rather intriguing beginning and some interesting special effects that depict the futuristic settings of prison  this film soon starts sinking into mediocrity  the reason is in the screenplay that quickly degenerates into whole series of prison movie clich  s and situations that are painfully predictable  by the time brennick begins his escape from fortress  those situations not only begin to look predictable  but utterly implausible too  of course  film never tried to explain why the country that lacks resources to support its present population happens to spend bucketloads of money on ultraexpensive supertechnology with sole intention of keeping alive most useless and dangerous members of the society  the initially interesting plot is done even more wrong by stereotyped characters  played by not too interested or talented actors  lori laughlin  although physically attractive  shows the acting ability of sequoia  kurtwood smith as prison warden is rather uninspired  capable of solid  yet forgettable performance  lamberts performance is also good  but even the bigger talent couldnt help this film  destined to end in oblivion  
neg	susan grangers review of  the musketeer   universal pictures  hollywood launches another assault on classic literature with this 50 million adaptation of alexandre dumass novel thats strong on action but weak on drama  fusing hong kong martial arts with 17th century swordplay  the story chronicles the adventures of the dashing dartagnan  justin chambers  as he leaves his village of gascogne  headed for paris  to join king louis xiiis elite guard  the royal musketeers  and to search for the man who killed his parents 14 years earlier  this puts him in conflict with the formidable febre  tim roth   vicious henchman for conniving cardinal richelieu  stephen rea   the traditional musketeer trio  aramis  nick moran   athos  jan gregor kremp  and porthos  steve speirs   dont offer much help so he turns to the feisty francesca  mena suvari   chambermaid to the queen of france  catherine deneuve   scripter gene quintano and directorcinematographer peter hyams are primarily interested in the derringdo  as evidenced by choreographer xinxin xiongs elaborate  but not original  stunts  including a fastpaced stagecoach chase  a tavern brawl on rolling barrels  highwire acrobatics with the combatants dangling from ropes  and a ladderfight sequence  filmed in southern france  the scenery  sets and costumes are spectacular  but the lighting is too dark and editing is filled with choppy  restless mtvish cuts  as the swashbuckling dartagnan  bland calvin klein model justin chambers buckles where he should be swashing  totally lacking onscreen charisma  not to mention acting skill  mena suvari  so impressive in  american beauty   seems like a contemporary interloper in the royal court  on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10   the musketeer  is a cinematic but shallow 3   all for one and one for all   not this time round  
neg	note  some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers  be forewarned  at the end of the day  those reflecting upon the debacle that is the avengers would do well to take note that warning clouds loomed on the horizon for the project well before warner bros  made the contentious decision to abandon preview press screenings and scrapped plans for a gala premiere  this highlyanticipated film rendition of the cult television show was originally slotted for an early june opening  where it would have gone headtohead against the rival studios heavy hitters  its eventual demotion to a less potent midaugust opening was an obvious early indication of the studios lack of confidence with the picture  and with good reason  this is a joyless exercise of a film  held together by a barely coherent plot and lacking any semblance of excitement  thrills or wit  remarkable in its banality and brutally uninvolving  the avengers is a catastrophic mess which immediately invites comparisons to last years case study in style over substance  joel schumachers muchloathed batman  robin   indeed  both films even feature appalling  ridiculous sequences which find central characters dressed up in fuzzy oversized costumes   uma thurman  who takes on the salacious role of the catsuitclad  karatechopping emma peel immortalized by diana rigg  was the only bright spot in the aforementioned schumacher disaster  imbuing her poison ivy with a dose of sassiness and sly wit that gave audiences something to smile at amidst the cinematic carnage  unfortunately  the same cant be said here  where she and cohort ralph fiennes  our new john steed  taking over for patrick macnee  demonstrate no appreciable chemistry whatsoever  fatally crippling the picture as they volley fizzling repartee back and forth and trade doubleentendres with all the enthusiasm of two actors painfully aware that theyre on board a sinking ship  at this rate  usuallysplendid actor mr  fiennes may never make the transition from arthouse apollo to mainstream leading man  his tepid turn here will make as much of an inroad as his commendably seedy performance in the regrettablyneglected kathyrn bigelow film strange days  the duo  look  the part  and admittedly the avengers is  more than most  heavily dependent upon style  but theyre no fun to watch  and i found myself growing increasingly distant and annoyed by the lack of spark between the two cheekily ironic characters as they navigated through the pictures caperesque plot  when not checking my wristwatch or shifting restlessly in my seat  i began to alleviate the boredom by considering how this all might have played out had the filmmakers chose to go instead with that erstwhile emma as our mrs  peel  no  not kate beckinsale  although the notion now intrigues me   but gwyneth paltrow  who was originally in the running for the part and can veritably handle a spoton english accent  if nothing else  itd at least be highly entertaining for the incongruous sight of the vaguely twiggish young actress kicking butt  the story  such as it is  involves the everbemused tandem of steed and peel combating the malevolent sir august de wynter  sean connery   an eccentric aristocrat threatening the safety of the nation with his climatecontrolling contraption   they also sip a lot of tea   overlooking some goofy cloning nonsense and quirky hijinx involving our protagonists superiors  it sounds far better than it plays  and is rendered almost indecipherable by blatant postproduction tinkering  its clearly evident that the picture has been cut to shreds  the avengers was never about gripping drama  and our heroes accordingly never take villainous sir august very seriously  but given the lack of cohesion in the plot and the lack of menace conveyed by the buffoonish maniac  its all decidedly uncompelling  mr  connery  whos onscreen barely long enough to register an impression  approaches the role like a man fulfilling a contractual obligation  simultaneously chewing the scenery while unable to hide his disinterest  at least it all looks good  this is a genuinely handsome production  with fine costume design by anthony powell and crisply shot by roger pratt  in particular  the gleaming production design by stuart craig commands attention  adeptly drawing elements both old and new in order to depict this great britain  there are a handful of striking visual moments in the film  including an attack by a swarm of giant robotic bees and a nice shot of steed and peel finding a way to walk on water  but the film is so unremittingly dull that even these instances fail to stir interest or raise pulse rates  by the time the films climax had arrived  my interest was not with the sight of steed and sir august slugging it out amidst crashing waves and thundering rain  but with the quickest escape route from the theatre  not coincidentally  the enticing bits of visual bravura were the shots assembled into the movies remarkable trailer  a savvy piece of work which ironically is infinitely more appealing that the feature film itself  the first promo which made the rounds in early spring is probably my favourite studio trailer so far this year  its everything that the avengers is not  saucy  clever  engaging  and entertaining  a crushing disappointment  the film is one of the worst outings of the year  too drearily awful to be savoured as gleefully bad  too polished to overlook its deficiencies  there may be upcoming pictures that are even more lifeless than the avengers  but i sure hope not  
neg	stallone attempts to act in this cop drama  the film is set in a neighbourhood pratically built by kietal  whos nephew  played by michael rappaport  is involved in a car crash and killing of two black youths  keital dosent really want to get involved in anything  gets rid of rappaport  and stallone and de niro try to work out what the hell is going on  this film should be brilliant  it sounds like a great plot  the actors are first grade  and the supporting cast is good aswell  and stallone is attempting to deliver a good performance  however  it cant hold up  although the acting is fantastic  even stallone isnt bad  the directing and story is dull and long winded some scenes go on for too long  with nothing really happening in them  in fact  the only scenes that do work are action scenes  which i suspect stallone was trying to avoid  in this film  serious means dull  the dialogue is warbling  and basically just repeats the same points over and over  no matter who is delivering them  the plot  which has potential  is wasted  again just being cliched after a while  in fact  the only thing that does keep the film going is kietal and de niro  both delivering their usual good performances  however  stallone  although not given much to say  gives a good performance  however  its not all that bad  as said above  the action scenes are well done  theres also a very good ending  which uses the cinemas sound system well  in fact  the last 10 minutes of this 2 hour film are one of the best endings of 1997  if only the rest of the film was as good as the ending  cop land  then  turns out not to be a power house film  but a rather dull  and not every exciting film  hugely disappointing  and i cant really recommend it  
neg	the first species was a moderatelysuccessful science fiction yarn that diverted audiences with some nifty special effects  a few well paced action sequences  and frequent views of modelturnedactress natasha henstridge sans clothing  however  it was definitely not a movie that cried out for a sequel  and  considering the quality of species 2  its obvious that mgm should have stopped while they were ahead  the only thing that distinguishes species 2 is how awful it is  if you throw away the plot  which is characterized by a blatant disregard for intelligence  logic  coherence  and consistency  species 2 actually has a few things to recommend it to a select audience  of course  that audience is primarily comprised of teenage boys  who  at least in theory  shouldnt be able to get into an  r  rated film  and connoisseurs of bad movies  theres enough blood  gore  simulated sex  and bare flesh in species 2 to prevent it from ever becoming boring  this is a grade z exploitation flick thats ripe for the mystery science theater 3000 treatment  somewhere  someplace  i recall hearing species 2 described as  erotic   i would love to know who used with that adjective for this movie  because he  or she  has a peculiar notion of eroticism  sure  theres a lot of sex and nudity  but its almost always accompanied by the ripping open of a womans abdomen as an alien baby claws its way free  splattering blood and gore in all directions  anyone turned on by that is not someone i would care to be sitting next to in a theater  i suppose the main attraction in species 2 is natasha henstridge  and  to get the obvious question out of the way  yes  she does remove her top  but only once  and only briefly   although the character she played in the original species is dead  government scientists still have the dna  and  out of what can only be described as a suicidal impulse  they decide to create another clone  this creature  dubbed  eve  by its creator  dr  laura baker  played by marg helgenberger  reprising her role   is genetically engineered to be kinder and more docile  meanwhile  man has finally set foot on mars  a team of three  led by patrick ross  justin lazard   has traveled to the red planet  but when they return to earth  they bring something with them  ross has become a halfhumanhalfalien hybrid  and hes soon mating like crazy  collecting the bloodsoaked children that are the result of each sex session  his intention is obviously world domination  standing in his way is that indomitable soldier of fortune from the first film  preston lennox  michael madsen   and one of patricks fellow astronauts  dennis gamble  mykelti williamson   but when patrick learns about eve  a female of his kind  theres no damping his ardor  im not sure what the budget for species 2 was  but a significant portion of it must have gone into paying handsome salaries to several recognizable actors  as opposed to being diverted into the special effects   michael madsen and marg helgenberger  both back for a second round  are clearly on hand to do as little as they can  grab the money  and run  ditto for james cromwell  who plays patricks father   underused  is too kind a word to describe his involvement   invisible  would be more like it   george dzundza gets to do a little scenery chewing as an angrybutinept general  meanwhile  justin lazards performance as patrick is so flat that he makes natasha henstridges limited abilities look good by comparison  the only one in the whole production with any energy is mykelti williamson  who is cast in the part of the wisecracking black sidekick  complete with cheesy special effects  bare breasts around every narrative corner  and dialogue capable of producing howls of laughter  species 2 has been dumped into the marketplace without advance screenings for critics  director peter medak  a journeyman film maker with a significant list of mediocre movies on his resume  has added another forgettable title  but at least he appears to have had fun doing it  which is more than can be said of anyone trying to take this film with even a scintilla of seriousness  do i recommend the movie  absolutely not  but i will admit that species 2 is dopey enough that it didnt try my patience to the degree that some pseudointellectual bad movies do  heres hoping theres no species 3  
neg	a number of critics have decided that its open season on freddie prize jr   slamming the young actor as an utterly talentless pretty boy on career cruise control in soundalike  disposable teen fluff like  head over heels    boys and girls    down to you  and  shes all that   while the prinze oeuvre is hard to defend  his talent is not  i first saw him in the independent dark comedy  the house of yes   where he gave a subtle  impressive performance as the younger brother in one of americas freakiest families  prinze has the acting chops  he just needs to take a few supporting roles in some grownup movies to show the nonbelievers that he has what it takes   summer catch  certainly wont help his case  inoffensive  but utterly generic  the baseballrelated romantic comedy does little more than kill time  the story deals with the love affair between tenley  jessica biel   a wealthy cape cod girl and ryan  prinze   a local boy from a working class family who dreams of becoming a bigtime baseball star  ryans preoccupation with his new honeybunny drives her elitist father  bruce davison  crazy and endangers his position as pitcher with a cape cod summer league team  its a wonder the kid has any time to pitch  as his time is occupied with making out with tenley  fighting with her dad  bonding with his own dad  fred ward  who deserves better than this   fighting with his brother  jason gedrick  and carousing at a neighborhood bar with his teammates  the filmmakers desperately want to make a quirky  characterheavy baseball movie like  bull durham   but havent got a clue how to get there  and so they glide from one clich  to the next for 108 minutes  the only bit of originality comes from marc blucas in a minor role as a centerfielder from texas  in an early barroom scene  blucas  best known as demonfighting riley finn from  buffy the vampire slayer   hears a young woman compliment a guy on his ass  then turns to teammate matthew lillard and states   he does have a nice ass  a bubble butt   when lillard gives him an  are you insane   look  blucas calmly says   its nothing sexual   then goes on to evaluate the hindends of some other players  including lillards  speaking of asses  prinze does not bare his in the movie  the actor has a no nudity clause in his contract  so two stuntbutts were employed for a couple of seminude shots  blucas  whose character secretly dates a large woman throughout the story  gets another unique moment late in the film  sick of hearing teammates make  fat chick  jokes  he climbs on top of a table and loudly declares his love of amplysized ladies  while his speech still ends up objectifying women  it remains a nice change of pace in a numbingly ordinary movie  trivial tidbit   summer catch  marks a scooby doo summit  marc blucas appears in  jay and silent bob strike back  as fred from the scooby doo gang  while freddie prinze jr  plays the same character in the upcoming big budget film version of the old cartoon  
neg	everybody in this films thinking of alicia  no  this is not a documentary on those of us after we first saw the  cryin  video  this is one of those erotic thrillers  but not like one starring shannon whirry or shannon tweed  first off  theres zero sex  almost no nudity  and its not as wellplotted as one of those tweed flicks  well  anyway  the  plot   alicia plays  well  the babysitter  who is taking care of some kids one night while the parents  j  t  walsh and lee garlington  go out to a party  the film  trying to be like one of those introspective erotic thrillers  shows every characters thoughts  except alicias  the thing is alicias in most of them in most cases  and the thoughts arent too kosher  first off  theres her boyfriend  jeremy london  who gave one of the alltime lousy performances in  mallrats   and is only a notch better here   whos a dorky kid who hangs out with a kind of bully  played by nicky katt from  suburbia   who shows hes got that quiet creepiness down pat once again   they decide they want to crash her babysitting job  looking for the typical babysitting hankypanky  somethine like that  the film intercuts between the subplots  alicia babysitting  nicky and jeremy  the party  and each characters thoughts  we get to see jeremy and nickys dreams of doing a little threeway with alicia  j  t  thinking of coming home to find alicia naked in the bathtub  she has it all covered up  the little tease   and  worst of all  lee garlington dreaming of that hunk  george segal  it even shows them in bed together  yea  i so wanted to see george and lee garlington in bed  though i guess im used to george after seeing her and mary tyler moore fooling around in  flirting with disaster   the ending is some kind of big tragedy thing  but come on  like we care about any of the characters  the only interesting one is alicia  mainly because shes alicia  and we mostly see her in the fantasies  so i guess shes some kind of mystery or something  but she is never explored further  so  basically  this film is just a series of mastabatory images  sometimes featuring a nonnude alicia  once again  sadly   sometimes featuring a scantilyclad george segal  once again  sadly   i watched this on one of those free previews of showtime or cinemax one night  and let me tell you  it is the only way to watch this film  i mean  theres a reason they put these kinds of films on late at night  theyre just as good as sleeping pills  and this one is one big fat waste of time  even for an alicia film  
neg	star wars   episode i  the phantom menace  1999  director  george lucas cast  liam neeson  ewan mcgregor  natalie portman  jake lloyd  ian mcdiarmid  samuel l  jackson  oliver ford davies  terence stamp  pernilla august  frank oz  ahmed best  kenny baker  anthony daniels screenplay  george lucas producers  rick mccallum runtime  131 min  us distribution  20th century fox rated pg  mild violence  thematic elements copyright 1999 nathaniel r  atcheson a fellow critic once stated his belief that a reviewer should not speak of himself in his own review  ive attempted to obey this rule in recent months  but to do so would be impossible in this case  the fact is  nearly every person who goes to see the phantom menace brings baggage in with them  the original star wars trilogy means so much to so many people  for me  they calibrated my creativity as a child  they are masterful  original works of art that mix moving stories with what were astonishing special effects at the time  and they still hold up pretty darn well   i am too young to have seen star wars in the theater during its original release  but that doesnt make me any less dedicated to it  on the contrary  the star wars trilogy  and the empire strikes back in particular  are three items on a very short list of why i love movies  when i heard that george lucas would be making the first trilogy in the ninefilm series  i got exited  when i first saw screenshots from the film  well over a year ago  i embarked on a yearlong drool of anticipation  and when the first previews were released last thanksgiving  i was ready to see the film  but then there was the hype  the insane marketing campaign  and lucasfilms secretive snobbery over the picture  in the last weeks before the picture opened  while multitudes of fans waited outside of theaters and stood in the boiling sun days in advance just to be the first ones in the theater  i was tired of hearing about it  i was tired of seeing cardboard cutouts of the characters whenever i went to kfc or taco bell  i just wanted to see the movie  reader  do not misunderstand  i did not have an antihype reaction  the hype was unavoidable  i understand and accept the hype  its just what happens when the prequel to the most widely beloved films of all time get released  five minutes into the phantom menace  i knew there was a problem   who are these jedi knights   i asked   why are they churning out stale dialogue with machinegun rapidity    why arent these characters being developed before their adventures    why is there a special effects shot in nearly every frame of the entire film   these were just some of my questions early on  later  i asked   wheres the magic of the first three films   and  why am i looking at my watch every fifteen minutes   by the end of the film  i was tired  maddened  and depressed  george lucas has funneled his own wonderful movies into a pointless  mindless  summer blockbuster  the phantom menace is no star wars film  take away the title and the jedi talk and the force  and youre left with what is easily one of the most vacuous special effects movies of all time  its an embarrassment  i looked desperately for a scene in which a character is explored  or a new theme is examined  or a special effects shot isnt used  there are a few of each  but theyre all token attempts  the fact is  george lucas has created what is simultaneously an abysmally bad excuse for a movie and a pretty good showcase for digital effects  this is not what i wanted to see  i didnt want to leave the phantom menace with a headache and a bitter taste in my mouth  but i did  the story centers mostly around quigon jinn  liam neeson  looking lost and confused  and his apprentice  obiwan kenobi  ewan mcgregor  who scarcely has a line in the film  and their attempts to liberate the people of the planet naboo  naboo is the victim of a bureaucratic war with the trade federation  their contact on naboo is queen amidala  natalie portman   the teenage ruler who truly cares for her people  after picking up jar jar binks  a completely cgi character  voiced by ahmed best   they head to tatooine  where they meet young anakin skywalker  jake lloyd  and his mother  pernilla august   quigon knows that the force is strong with young anakin  and so the jedi knights take the boy with them on their journeys  the bad guys are darth maul and darth sidious  neither of whom have enough lines to register as characters  there isnt anything particularly wrong with this story when looking at it in synopsis form  the way lucas has handled it  however  it unsatisfactory  first of all  we dont learn one single thing about quigon jinn  not one thing  what was his life like before this film  well  i imagine he didnt have one  thats why he feels like a plot device  this probably explains why neeson looks so hopeless in the role  and why hes recently retired from film  i dont blame him  honestly   obiwan  a character i was really looking forward to learning more about  is even less interesting  mcgregor has just a few lines  so anyone hoping to see the engaging young actor in a great performance is urged to look elsewhere  since these two men are the focus of the phantom menace  lucas has served us a big emotional void as the centerpiece of his movie  things start to pick up when our characters reach tatooine  young anakin is perhaps the only truly fleshedout character in the film  and lloyd does a thoughtful job with the role  i was also hugely impressed with the sand speeder scene  rarely is an action sequence so fast and so exciting  and when anakin says goodbye to his mother  i found it moving  also fairly good is portman  and she manages to give a little depth to a character where no depth has been written  jar jar binks is one of the most annoying characters ive ever had to endure  but hes more interesting than most of the humans  as soon as the relativelybrief segment on tatooine is over  its back to the mindnumbing special effects and depthless action scenes  ive seen many movies that qualify as  special effects extravaganzas   but the phantom menace is the first one ive seen that had me sick of the special effects fifteen minutes into the movie  the reason is obvious  george lucas has no restraint  i cant say that i didnt find the effects original  because i did  the final battle between darth maul  obiwan  and quigon is visually exceptional  as is most of the film  but i also found the effects deadening and tiresome  my breaking point was near the end of the picture  as anakin is getting questioned by yoda and the other jedi masters  in the background  we see hundreds of digital spaceships flying around through a digital sky  and i wanted that to go away  cant we have one stinking scene that isnt bursting at the seems with a special effects shot  i got so sick of looking at the cgi characters and spaceships and planets and backgrounds that i really just wanted to go outside and look at a physical landscape for a few hours  and then theres the question of magic  what was lost in the sixteen years between the phantom menace and return of the jedi  i have a feeling that lucas was so focused on how his movie looked that he forgot entirely the way it should feel  john williams familiar score is no help  nor is lucas direction  i think it comes right down to characters  there are none here  i longed for the magnetic presence of han  luke  and leia  but i got no such thing  and what about the ridiculous expectations  mine werent that high  i simply wanted a film that showed me the roots of the films that i grew up loving  a story that had a few characters and a few great special effects  instead  i got two hours and fifteen minutes of a lifeless and imaginative computer graphics show  i dont hate the phantom menace as much as i resent it  id like to forget that it exists  and yet i cant  its here to stay  i can only hope that episodes ii and iii have something of substance in them  because if they dont  then lucas will have pulled off the impossible task of destroying his own indestructible series  
neg	the lives of older people in the twilight of their years attempting to come to grips with their shared histories and possible futures is a fascinating topic  finding an allstar cast for such a film is a stroke of genius  combining all that with a threetime oscarwinning director  robert benton of  kramer vs  kramer   and creating a decidedly mediocre movie is the stuff of disappointment  in yet another noir mystery set in hollywood  how many of these have we seen during the past few years   the atmosphere is moody  the actors enjoyable to watch and the story goes nowhere  over70 harry ross  paul newman  is a washed up copturnedprivate eyeturned man friday trying to figure out how to live what remains of his life  hes screwed up things pretty well   i had a wife and daughter  now  im a drunk  and is at a crossroads  a couple of years ago  he traveled to mexico to bring back mel  reese witherspoon   the underage daughter of jack  gene hackman  and catherine  susan sarandon  ames and now lives with them  the ames are former movie stars  past their prime and the three have become fast friends  one gets the impression that ross is just hanging out waiting for something to wake him up  to fill his time  he does odd jobs for jack and falls in love with catherine  jack is in even worse shape than harry  hes dying of cancer with only a year to live  things do turn more exciting when jack asks harry to drop off a sealed manila envelope for him  instead of the routine errand that ross expects  he walks into a barrage of bullets from the gun of another excop who is  himself  full of bloody holes  this unsettling event gives the former detective a project to throw himself into and launches an investigation that revolves around the mysterious disappearance of catherines first husband 20 years before  through a series of very complex and convoluted plot devices that involve murder  blackmail  guns  mels mexico traveling partner and his parole officer  rosss former cop buddies  exlover and wouldbe sidekick  the tale finally ends up exactly where everyone expects it to  its a film noir tradition that the story twists and turns down side roads for an unexpected finale  but here the journey meanders towards an ending that no one cares about  the only surprises are exactly whose face fits which role in the scenario  by the time they show you  it doesnt matter  the storyline gets goofier and goofier exemplified in rosss relationship with rubin  giancarlo esposito   a partner wannabe  these scenes are obviously designed to be comic relief  however they are neither  rubin and ross have some past relationship but either its not explained or i didnt care enough at that point to remember  a running joke about where harry was supposedly shot while in mexico is probably meant to mirror his questions about whether he is still able to perform  its also not funny  doesnt connect and keeps on showing up long after it has run its course  on the positive side  its often enjoyable to watch the seasoned actors on the screen  the three leads all have welldeserved academy awards and turn in accomplished  if not extraordinary jobs  newman is a grand actor  but doesnt seem quite suited to the dark film style  he is a bit too clean and understated to come across as desperate and down and out  hackman  also lowkey  is believable but lacks sparkle  sarandon comes across well as an sultry older babe although she is onedimensional  the actors do what they can with lame dialog  but they cant pull the film out of the hole its dug for itself  james garner who plays rosss old buddy excop raymond hope is always a treat  but even he halfheartedly struggles through lines like  im glad they didnt shoot your pecker off   the best part of the film is the look at old friends  how their relationships change over the years and the difficult choices they must make  the genuinely easy and casual interactions among the actors hint that being on the set was much more interesting than what ended up on the screen the film doesnt run very long before the audience realizes that its hopeless  the only reason for watching is the actors  it reminds me of disaster movies such as  towering inferno  where the star power is supposed to make everyone ignore the films problems  in a better world  there would have been secondrate actors in this secondrate movie and the ones here would have been saved for something better  of course  we dont live in that better world  but you could make yours a little nicer by choosing a different movie  
neg	martial arts master steven seagal  not to mention director   has built a career out of playing an allegedly fictitious martial arts superman who never gets hurt in fights  talks in a hushed tone  and squints at any sign of danger  hes also the most consistent individual in hollywood today  since all his movies suck  they basically represent his egotisitical tendencies about his art  that is  martial art   im sure the guys good  and he seems like a nice guy on talk shows  although a tad haughty  but these movies he makes are all the same  a guy who is basically indestructable  is maybe wounded supposedly mortally  then comes back with a vengeance and goes buddha on all the baddies asses  although i kinda liked  under siege    of course  this one  as a change  has a  message  that is drilled into our mind    of course  after he blows up a lot of stuff and kills a bunch of people  so why do i watch his crap  i usually dont  i will never  and you can hold me to this  i will never pay to see this mans movies  unless  and only unless  hes in a supporting role  i  e   executive decision   and id definitely pay if he dies  i  e   executive decision    but this one has a special place in my heart  this doesnt mean its good or that i even liked it  this was the last movie i watched with my deceased uncle  and we had one hell of a time ripping it apart a la  mystery science theatre 3000   and this was a couple years before i had heard of  mystery science theatre 3000   in this one  seagal plays a worker for a mining factory set in alaska and run by the greasedup typical shallow villain  this time played by an oscarwinner to give the movie some more clout  michael caine  it seems that caine wants to do something with his oil factory that includes him dumping oil all over inuit land  around the 2030 minute point  seagal speaks up to him in what seems to be the typical speech to all the vain entrepeneurs  what with his new  fire down below   another  message film    and caine has him bumped off    or does he  seagal is rescued by some inuits  and falls in love with one of them  played by joan chen  who can act  hypothetically  but  for some reason  not here  one of caines cliched henchmen  played here with a lot of overacting by john c  mcginley  shoots the cheif of the inuit clan  and chen and seagal go on a voyage to take down the oil factory    literally  of course  at one point  seagal gives a wonderfully hysterical speech about how he doesnt have any options but blow stuff up  he even goes as far as to say   i dont want to kill someone   and in the same breath  he asks some guy where the arsenal is  i have no problem with violence  im a huge john woo fan  but he paints his films with suspense  skill  style  depth  characterization  and just plain cool violence  in the films of seagal  the suspense mainly consists of the baddie attacking him stupidly  and him either wounding or killing them  at some points  they use the cliche of the talking villain  where the villain has the advantage  can shoot seagal  but begins talking by either telling him his big secret plan  or saying a corny line  to which seagal says something hokey back  and has had enough time to devise of a way to do away with them  and does  this would be okay if there were any suspense or if it didnt take itself seriously at all  like in the case of this summers  con air   but seagal is serious about his skill  and of course  his message  i wouldnt mind if this was a message film in the way that they present it to you with evidence  but seagal has no idea how to present a film where the message is subtle  not pounded into the viewers mind  the villain is totally shallow and cartoonish  thus we cant take him and his motives seriously  and while seagal talks about being kind to the environment  he also goes ahead and blows up a square mile of rig  and kills some workers who were just doing his job  then at the end  he spends a good 10 minutes giving a speech  just in case you didnt get the message from the trailers  what seagal doesnt realize is that no one takes his films seriously  although maybe a couple do  and any message he has is no only redundant  but doesnt comfortably fit in his film  which is filled to the brim with hokey violence  crap suspense  stupid melodrama  and characters who have about as much emotional depth as a petri dish  as far as seagal and his acting  hes rather boring  he squints  he kills  period  nothing else  oh  yeah  theres corny oneliners   im gonna reach out and touch someone     of course  hes the star  and were supposed to root for him and all  so he makes all the villains unbelievably stupid and a bunch of jerks  michael caine  whos a great actor  is just supposed to yell and look cold  he does it well  i guess  but this is no  alfie   of coure  no one was expecting that caliber of performance from him  his big henchman  john c  mcginley is kinda boring as well  but is not horrible  and we even get a small performance from that god of drill sergeants on celluloid  r  lee ermey  from  full metal jacket   as a hired assasin squad leader who gets to say the obligatory speech about how dangerous seagal is  just for the movie trailers and for seagals ego  and also  look for billy bob thornton as one of ermeys assasins  anyway  to conclude this all  to judge one of seagals movies is to judge all of them  except for  under siege  and  executive decision   though the latter is not really a  seagal movie    they all have this same formula  they all have the same action  same villain  same plot  but this one has that message  which makes it more excrucitating to watch  i mean  if you do rent it  and i dont reccomend you do  make sure you just skip the last 10 minutes  but i have to put it to seagal for creating a film so bad  that the last film i viewed with my uncle was a pleasurable one  my  extra star for the fun it is to watch and mock  
neg	arye cross and courteney cox star as a pair of bostonians who meet in a bar  go to the movies  fall in love  move in together  etc  review  well  if you havent seen when harry met sally or he said  she said  or if you dont watch love  war on television  you might think this is the most inventive film to come along in ages  however  if youve seen any of these  than you have seen most of this film  this of course doesnt mean its bad  some of it is amusing  but overall  i just had to ask whats the point  arye cross is the stereotypical single male who falls in love  kevin pollack is the stereotypical femalefearing best friend who make a lot of rather sexist and vulgar jokes  most if which werent very funny  couteney cox is the stereotypical careerminded woman who falls in love  julie brown is the stereotypical bizarre best friend of said woman   notice the frequent use of the word stereotypical  this film uses a lot of formula  the plot is basically known from the opening credits   so what is good about the movie  well as i said there are a few amusing moments  surprisingly  julie brown  who i usually find just plain goofy  was the best thing in the film  also there are several very funny sequences involving analysis of the human mating ritual  gee  this is really short  not much to say about the film really  it is just kind of there  watching it on video might not be a complete waste of time  but i wouldnt recommend hiring a baby sitter or spending a lot of money to see it at the theatre  
neg	soldier is hands down one of the worst movies a person could ever have to sit through that doesnt have jean claude van damme in it  i could liken it to the scifi cheese that was the hollywood productofchoice back in the early 80s  but that would be too much of a compliment  if there is a movie theater in hell  this film is playing there 24 hours a day  the story  such that there is  revolves around todd  kurt russell   an automaton of a man who has been raised from birth to be a merciless soldier in a nottoodistant ultraconservative future  is there any other kind   after years of desensitization at a military academy full of other boys just like him  todd becomes a ground fighter in a series of wars all over the galaxy  who the enemies in these wars are is never revealed  but the few glimpses of todd in battle show that it doesnt matter  because innocent hostages are wiped out as indifferently as the bad guys  after ten minutes of this nihilistic trash  yes folks  theres more  we see todd as a buff  scarred adult  now so accustomed to the carnage that no confrontation at all causes him to break a sweat  theres a new wrinkle  though  todd and his brethren are declared obsolete  and a new batch of soldiers takes their place  after losing a sanctioned battle with dragons jason scott lee  the seemingly dead todd is dumped by a flying icecube tray  well  thats what is looked like  on a remote garbage planet  if you predict that todd meets a bunch of outcast settlers on this planet  and that they band together to fight a bunch of bad guys coming to destroy them  youre way ahead of the game  the renegade society on this trash heap is so clich you halfexpect tina turner and master blaster to come strolling into frame any minute  its surprising that soldier is the brainchild of blade runner cowriter david webb peoples  unlike that mindtwisting classic  this film contains just barely enough dialogue to fill about three doublespaced pages  add into the mix the mortal kombats paul anderson inept direction  and its easy to see how soldier turned out so bad  and the special effects  remember the flying steam irons in hardware wars  gary busey is in this movie  nuff said  soldier is proof that hollywood still has plenty of bad ideas sitting in its script vaults  that this sad film made it to the silver screen should encourage plenty of aspiring screenwriters out there that there is hope after all  now if youll excuse me  i have to go weep for the future  
neg	its a sad state of affairs when the back box blurb is more exciting than the movie contained within it  such is the case for the 1990 paul mayersberg film the last samurai  though the blurb alludes to  a jungle filled with political intrigue  uneasy alliances  and murderous enemies at every turn   the story of the movie is actually quite simple  and prosaic   a middleaged japanese businessman named endo  played by john fujioka  and his assistant  both of whom have samurai aspirations  travel to africa in search of his ancestor  who went to bring buddhism to africa  he hires the services of downattheheels vietnam veteran pilot johnny congo  the redoubtable lance henriksen  and his girlfriend  arabella holzbog   and travels to the camp of an armsmerchantcumsafarihost cumislamicmissionary  john saxon  and his wife  lisa eilbacher   they are all kidnapped by an african revolutionary guerilla with witchdoctor aspirations to conceal a prearranged arms deal  which subsequently falls through  congo escapes  finds endos ancestors sword  and comes back  guns blazing  to free the rest of them  and endo kills the revolutionary with the sword  the end  the last samurai is one of those movies that is neither bad enough nor good enough to be enjoyable  it is merely there  the murky plot is filled with subtexts that are never elaborated  subplots that are never explained  and many scenes that make very little sense at all  the film is shot through with all the tired old  inscrutable japanese samurai  and zen stereotypes that are to be expected from an american movie  it is quite slowpaced  with only a bit of action near the end  and the final duel between endo and the terrorist is quite anticlimactic  most of the acting is fair  with the possible exception of congos girlfriend  lance henriksen is his usual scenechewing self  and is one of few possible reasons anyone might conceivably have for seeing this movie  the only other bright spot is the sweeping african scenery  i paid 3 for this film  from the discount rack at best buy  and halfway suspect i overpaid for it  if you are in the mood for samurai  read a clavell novel or watch a kurusawa movie  skip the last samurai unless you are a diehard henriksen fan  
neg	birthdays often cause individuals to access their lives  are we doing what we want to be doing  what happened to our dreams  with the new millennium  our collective big birthday  just around the corner  some people are sensing a certain dissatisfaction with their existence  the old standbys of traditional religion and science arent doing it for many anymore and theyre looking for something else  well be seeing more and more films with a metaphysical theme over the next few years  ricky hayman  jeff goldblum  is having a career crisis  the programming director for the good buy home shopping network  hes going to be fired unless sales increase dramatically  new producer kate newell  kelly preston  is supposed to whip things into shape  when the two are fixing a flat  they almost run down new age pilgrim  g   murphy   g wanders onto the television set and connects with the viewers by telling them that they dont really want all that commercial crap  in some unexplained manner  this causes sales to sour  ricky is saved  the movie tries to be too much at once and fails at it all  its not an overthetop comedy or a heartwarming message of humanity  it is a mishmosh of poorly directed scenes made even worse by insipid dialog  i am willing to put up with preaching from a film  but the messages here are old hat  you should take time to smell the roses  selling your soul for cash is a bad idea  golly  im glad i saw the movie  i never would have thought of these  the opportunity to poke fun at the goofy products is mostly missed  when g takes a chainsaw to the set  theres an obvious chance for murphy to be hilarious  it doesnt happen  the bits are so subdued and overlylong that theres only a hint of laughter from the audience  murphy has changed his roles in recent years and not for the better  there are hints of promise in this one  the only time the film picks up even a little is when his shavedheaded character in the long flowing white caftan shows up on screen  the others are horrendous  goldblum has episodes of brilliance in his career  but here he seems to have been replaced with a lifeless pod from his  invasion of the body snatchers   his relationship with kate makes no sense  they move from antagonism to love somewhere off screen  preston is as uninteresting as she could possibly be  somewhere hidden deep inside of this film is about ten minutes of value  an attempt to satirize stupid television  we get a selfparody instead  
neg	m  i2  the sequel to mission impossible  is a james bond wannabe film  but it fails to even come close to that film in wit  humor  and entertainment value  it tries to be a spyromance movie  but without any suspense the film just looks like its an extended commercial for dudes who think they look cool in throwaway sunglasses  it is a film that prefers techie gadgets to anything human  the coolest thing about this movie  was all the holes it had in its story and the most trite thing about the movie  was the usage of doves throughout as peace symbols  the film plays as if it was a wet fantasy dream about techie violence  except for the choreographed action sequences  the film was dull for threequarters of its time  filled with too many dead spots in its story to garner concern about its wooden characters or the superficial romance that developed  as for the action scenes  they might look good to those who are converts to violence in their films  but their advertisement for sadistic responses  is nothing short of mindless cartoon violence  which makes it very difficult to sit back and applaud without feeling put off by the gratuitous cruelty seen  m  i2 opens and closes with fastpaced action scenes  but it is hard to get past the middle part which just drags on in banal dialogue  the film looks as if it had been invaded by a computer virus  at that point  the only thing that kept me awake  was the horrible music composed by hans zimmer that became very loud at any of the films supposedly momentous action scenes and seemed to make an uninteresting scene even more noticeable in the wrong way  its a megabuck film adapted from a popular hightech gadgetry tv series  but its artistic success is an impossible task to accomplish because it hired the wrong director and actors to star in it  and it failed to produce a story that had any substance  john woo   broken arrow    faceoff   is good at doing car chases  choreographed fights with midair flips and kungfu kicks  slomo shots of two guns blazing  and of fire explosions  but he just cant seem to handle dialogue and suspense  the star of the film and coproducer  tom cruise  and his romantic interest  thandie newton  are miscast  cruise is no james bond and looks more like a yuppie than a superhero in his stylish long hair and innocuous smile  as he tries to carry off this macho role  while thandie is not an actionfilm girl  and seems like a fish outofwater in this one  their romance didnt work  not only was it tepid and not sexy  but it wasnt convincing  the film opens with dizzying speed  perhaps with the hope that a befuddled audience is its best bet for success  we will be in three different locations instantaneously  sydney  the american southwest  and seville  first  we are in sydney  australia  where a scientist with a muffled russian accent  dr  nekhorvich  rade   mentions that he created a deadly killer virus called chimera and an antidote for it  he also mentions that every hero needs a worthy villain  which explains the films mythic theme    as we enter the world of comic book myths on good and evil  the one who played the villain  dougray scott  does so in a onedimensional gruff tone  which did not distinguish him in that role  at least  if the film got the villain part right  it might have had some fun with this nonsense  soon the diabolical scientist is on a plane talking to someone he trusts called dimitri  but then the plane is taken over by terrorists who set it on automatic pilot and crash it into the rocky mountains  before they crash the plane and parachute out of it  the one who was posing as dimitri  turns out to be sean ambrose  scott   a rogue member of the imf  which is a cialike clone  he steals the package with the antidote  peels off a latex mask  which is a replica of the hero of the story  ethan hunt  cruise   who had posed as dimitri to the scientist before and had thereby gained his trust  sean and his group of terrorists carry out this attack because they plan a virus plague on the world and then to sell the victims the antidote at marked up prices  we already saw the gimmick of peeling masks used in faceoff and in the original mission impossible  which as convoluted a plot as that film had  it was still a superior film to this sequel  woo has run this peeling mask routine into the ground  as it is used so often in this film by both sides  so much so  that it blurs any ethical character differences between good guy or villain  it makes it seem as if anyone could be another character  which distorts the reality of the film and makes it impossible for the film to make much sense  next we are in a mountain range in the american southwest  and ethan is on vacation  hanging by his fingertips while climbing and looking cool  when a helicopter with his boss anthony hopkins aboard  delivers via a rocket launcher  a pair of talking sunglasses  hunt learns his next mission is to retrieve the chimera package and he is allowed to pick two regular imf agents to help  billy baird  john polson  and luther stickell  ving rhames   with luther running a highgadget computer  but he also must get a jewel thief named nyah hall  thandie  to join his team  he is told  as an incentive to recruit her  all her criminal charges will be dropped  hopkins then signs off with the tag line  this message will selfdestruct in five seconds  actually  with the departure of hopkins  it was this disposable film that actually selfdestructed at this point  in seville  hunt recruits nyah into the team in the middle of a jewel heist and a subsequent car chase  where he nearly runs her audi sports car over the side of a mountain road  he also falls for her when this was only supposed to be a business deal  and learns that she is valuable because her exboyfriend was sean ambrose and that he still wants to f  ck her  the imf team then inject a location tracer chip into her to spot sean so she can go f  ck him  as she leads them to his hideout in the seaside of australia in which he shares with his sneering villainous cohort  the south african  hugh stamp  richard roxburgh   robert towne  the screenwriter  who contributed to the first  mission   who is noted for doing  chinatown   writes a colorless  pedestrian script  one that fails even to be funny in a camp way  the terrorists  who aim to rule the world  are interested in owning 51 percent in a biotech company and in getting stock options  as they plan to infect sydney with the virus and have their company sell the antidote  insuring that they will make billions on the stock  ethan comes to the rescue of the world and of nyah  with his only conflict being who is more important to save first  ethan does this rescue against all odds  as he finds a way to penetrate a security tight biotech company  fight it out with sean and the other terrorists  and rescue nyah  who injected herself with the virus to hinder seans getting it  as the only way to transport the virus is through another person or from the vaccine needle  ethan rescues her by doing stunt riding on a motorcycle  using kickboxing  winning a shootout  throwing a full john wayne supply of grenades at the terrorists  making some more use out of that peeling mask bit  and by being completely fearless and larger than life  while he kicks everyones ass  if i was only entertained by this    i could have lived with it  but this film was so badly made  that it was like watching a highlight film of a basketball game  seeing only the slamdunks  but with the game itself being excluded from the telecast  in any case  this is a criticproof film  and will in all probability do well in the box office  as it was made to appeal to all the demographics who find commercial ventures like this one easy to buy into  
neg	exuniversal soldier luc has to battle a group of newermodel engineered fighters gone bad  the review jeanclaude van damme has a oneliner early on in universal soldier  the return  his latest attempt to remain relevant  that sums up this entire movie  he says  been there  done that   no film critic could possibly sum up van dammes recent film choices any better  while other ageing action stars have wisely moved into other film genres  schwarzenegger makes as many family comedies as he does action films   van damme stubbornly persists in sticking with what used to work for him  martial arts and guns  this unwillingness or perhaps inability to move into new genres has caused van damme to enter the straight to video world  with legionnaire never seeing the inside of a multiplex  he joins fellow martial artistaction star steven seagal as they watch their film careers rapidly fizzle away  universal soldier  the return is truly poor  the plot is a complete copy of several action films from this decade  specifically terminator 2  judgement day and the similarly named soldier  soldiers kurt russell was an older model supersoldier sent off to retirement when circumstances forced him to battle his successors  for the good of a planet  schwarzeneggers terminator in t2 tried to save john connor from a newer model killing machine  the t1000  and jeanclaude  a former universal soldier  has to save the planet from the rampage of a group of  you guessed it  newer model soldiers  considering the poor box office performance of soldier  its amazing that this project was ever given the goahead  luc devereaux  van damme  was the sole remaining universal soldier  or unisol for short   until he was returned to a normal  if muscular  human form  in this sequel  technically the fourth film in the series  following two straighttovideo duds that were ignored here plotwise   luc is now a human trainerconsultant of sorts for the unisol program  working with dylan cotner  xander berkeley  who interestingly also appeared in t2   the unisol program has engineered a tougher  fiercer fighting force with the help of supercomputer seth  unfortunately  upon hearing that the program has been axed by the government  seth takes control of his soldiers  killing everyone in the building except for luc  his partner maggie  his daughter hillary and erin  a reporter trapped inside  the rest of the film involves luc trying to keep them all alive  while beating up a group of nearindestructible soldiers  most notably romeo  popular wrestler goldberg   there are lots of fights  gun battles  lame plot developments and a noticeable lack of plausibility  there are so many clich  s in this film that it is almost painful to watch  luc gets saddled with the task of saving erin the reporter early on  and in the course of a single night  they go from bickering to falling for each other  to kissing  erin is a patheticallywritten character  people are getting brutally gunned down all around her  and yet  not only does this not seem to frighten her  but she finds time to remind luc that she  isnt leaving without her story   whatever  other laughable moments include a  luc going to a strip club to get internet access  what   and b  a group of rangers  who after having been given good advice  luc tells them that their weapons are useless  and shows them a specific gun which should work better   choose to go into battle with their useless weapons anyway  guess who wins the battle    not one single scene in universal soldier  the return has any originality to it  when fuelled by don davis loud  driving music score  the films many fights become almost passable  but mostly are full of the same ol jeanclaude moves  director mic rodgers  a former stunt coordinator  keeps the action coming at a rapid pace  with only a few token serious moments to be found  his past work is evident in the many moments when characters are thrown through windows  tossed off of buildings or sent flying through the air thanks to an explosion  if only jeanclaude werent getting so old and slow compared to younger martial arts film actors like jet li  rodgers could probably have made a decent action film  to place the blame squarely at van dammes feet  however  is an injustice  im not sure that anyone  not even robert deniro or edward norton  could make writers william malone and john fasanos script sound good  one particularly painful scene is when erin asks luc how he is so sure that the aforementioned strip club will have internet access  he cringes  looks down and mutters  uh    uhm    they all do  i saw it on 60 minutes  eh he he he  the scripts and indeed the entire films only saving grace is goldberg  he chews up every scene he is in  obviously enjoying his role immensely  he even gives the film a few laughs  as he mutters things like  i really dont like that guy  every time he fails to kill luc  sadly  his presence is not enough to turn universal soldier  the return into anything better than a belowaverage action film that truly deserves to have joined its fellow sequels by going straighttovideo  
neg	the plot of big mommas house is martin lawrence in a fat suit and a dress  thats not just the highconcept premise  its the fullyrealized  allencompassing plot  such an emphasis is not unheardof in the world of hollywood summer entertainment  one need merely look back to last summer  when the plot of big daddy was adam sandler being an incompetent surrogate parent  the trap inherent in such an approach is that the highconcept plot idea better be pretty wellrealized  or rest on the shoulders of an extremely talented performer  because you can bet there will be nothing else worth a second of your time  not a developed character  not a provocative theme  not a witty twist  you will get 90plus minutes of martin lawrence in a fat suit and a dress  nothing more  nothing less  those who find martin lawrence more than an occasionally amusing screen presence may have a shot at enjoying the onenote dud that is big mommas house  others will simply stare  mouth agape  at its sheer unapologetic laziness  lawrence plays fbi agent malcolm turner  an undercover expert on a stakeout assignment with his partner john  paul giamatti   dangerous convicted bank robber and murderer lester vesco  terrence howard  has escaped from prison  and the feds think hes headed for his former girlfriend and presumedbutneverproved accomplice sherry  nia long   sherry  however  has fled with her son trent  jascha washington   possibly to visit her grandmother hattie mae  ella mitchell   better known as big momma  indeed  sherry appears to be on her way  but big momma is headed out of town without knowing sherry is coming  that leaves master of disguise malcolm to go under very heavy cover as big momma and find out what sherry knows  big mommas houses bloodlines are certainly traceable to mrs  doubtfire  director raja gosnell edited that film  and the makeup effects were similarly created by greg cannom  but theres just as strong a whiff of tootsie in the main characters attempt to use his alternate identity to get closer to a woman  unfortunately  big mommas house makes a ridiculous decision neither of those other films made  instead of having the protagonist pose as a completely manufactured character unfamiliar to anyone elses  it places malcolm in the position of playing a friend and family member to several other characters  suspension of disbelief in big mommas house requires you to believe every other person in the film is blind andor stupid  since no one notices that one big momma looks or sounds absolutely nothing like the other  of course  laughs trumps logic every time  and big mommas house probably still would have worked in spite of its utter disdain for common sense if it had just managed to be funny  and it misses its best possible opportunity for some great farce by ignoring the simple fact that the real big momma is set up as a foultempered beast  while malcolm has to be nurturing in order to get the information he wants out of sherry  unfortunately  no one involved appears to have the faintest idea how to deal with the comic gold mine involved in one real person pretending to be another  very different real person  so they fall back on an endless parade of sight gags  malcolm reacting violently to big mommas explosive diarrhea attack  malcolmasmomma schooling a pair of cocky teens in basketball  malcolm trying to avoid detection as various prostheses give way at inopportune moments  malcolm delivering a baby because big momma is the town midwife  one of the few sequences that works   martin lawrence can be likeable enough at times  but theres no reason to care a whit about his budding romance with sherry because malcolm is never an independently significant character  hes just big momma without the makeup on  i wont waste time commenting on how ineptly the setup of the escaped convict is employed  since it was clearly a waste of time to the filmmakers  there are a few token scenes of lester looming as a threatening figure  but hes ultimately a distraction in a film thats really about its central visual incongruity  and the accompanying lascivious glances at nia longs posterior   im never prepared to underestimate how appealing that idea may be to other people  several million of them apparently found adam sandler as an incompetent surrogate parent appealing  but i know that when a filmmaker tries to throw a concept at me and pretend that its an entire film  i duck out of the way  the gross implausibility of big mommas house might have been tolerable if it was seasoned with more big  cleverlyconstructed laughs  its lack of big laughs might have been tolerable if its characters were at all relevant  big mommas house is ridiculous and not funny  its just a sad exercise in the jaded presumption that any scene should be considered wacky and hilarious if it involves martin lawrence in a fat suit and a dress  
neg	starring william baldwin  cindy crawford  steven berkoff all right  the first problem that fair game has is the casting of supermodel cindy crawford in the lead role  not that cindy does that bad  its just that anyone who watches this film knows from moment one that that little bit of casting was not done because of cindys extraordinary acting skills  but for her extraordinary ability to look drop dead gorgeous in any situation  and in fair game most situations tend to find cindy either soaking wet or very hot and sweaty  but im sure that that is just a coincidence  no doubt that these situations were essential to the plot and the fact that cindy looks great wet  well  thats just a happy coincidence  sure  william baldwin isnt a bad actor  unfortunately  he just doesnt demonstrate it at all in this movie  im not sure if thats because most of his lines were just so hokey  or if he was trying to make cindys acting look good  if it was the latter  it worked  cindy does a surprisingly good job here in her first movie  which is not to say that she doesnt have room for improvement  although to be fair to cindy  her lines were kinda cheesy in places  so right about now you are no doubt asking yourself what sort of movie does cindy crawford  arguably the most beautiful woman on the planet  chose for her foray into the world of cinema  well  im glad you asked that question  cindy plays a lawyer who by some convoluted plot twists becomes a target for former elite kgb agents  why woud they target someone as likable as cindy  you ask  by the end of the movie you wont care  the story is so contrived it isnt funny  anyway after cindy gets blown out of the window of her house  without getting so much as a scratch i might add  she is placed into protective police custody under the watchful eve of william baldwin  whos character  max kilpatric  a police detective  seems to possess the skills of some sort of fighting machine  my guess is that the writers have seen way too many of steven seagals early films   the point is that the idea of the crawford and baldwins characters of the run from these killer russians isnt all that bad of an idea  its just everything around that basic idea which kinda stinks out loud  the supporting cast members are nothing more that over acted stereotypes  if i was baldwin  id hope this film disappears  as for crawford  she may indeed have some acting ability  unfortunately  any she does have is obscured by writing that goes beyond bad  this movie was obviously written with cindy in mind  since the writers spend most of their time finding ways to capitalize off of her looks  its too bad they hadnt spent more time on a half decent plot  since ms  crawford is more than capable of looking just fine all by herself thank you very much  unless you are a huge fan of either baldwin or crawford this is a movie that will only disappoint you  
neg	take a look at the following equation     a christmas carolghostbustersscrooged yes  scrooged is the odd mixture of sentiment  comedy and horror you would get if you mixed those two elements toghether  scrooged is alternatively sick  gross  funny  and then sickly soppy  bill murray plays frank cross  a t  v executive with a horrible personality  hes evil to secretary  actors  crew  everyone  except the t  vs stations boss  of course  played by the late robert mitchum  however  he is then visited by a very dead exec  who warns cross that he will be visited by three ghosts  past  present and future  who is called the ghost of yet to come  for some reason  sure enough  they arrive  show cross how much of a s  o  b he is  and he changes his way  however  throughout this simple plot  weve got to suffer outlandish special effects  poor comedy  and an very  very mean performance from bill murray  frank cross isnt funny mean  hes just mean  he also isnt very good at emotional scenes  and totally destroys the last ten minutes of the film  with an utterly desperate speech saying how great christmas is  and how he has changed  however  the supporting cast are ok  with good performances from mitchum  allen  who plays his girlfriend  and john glover  who plays crosss partner  the ghost of christmas past isnt that bad either  sadly  though  the audience has to suffer 25 minutes of home alone style violence from the ghost of christmas present  played by carol kane  whoever thought smacking that kane smacking murray in the head with a toaster was funny  should be fired straight away  and the audience also has to suffer bobcat goldthwait  the guy with the annoying voice in police academy 3  if i remeber correctly      who  thankfully  dosent say much  the script is horrendous  michael odonaghue churns out terrible  bad taste jokes  which i guess is the whole point really  then changes direction completely to emotional scenes  and he must of been on some drug when he wrote the final ten minutes  which are awful  the special effects look nice  but do nothing for the film  theres some impressive make up effects also  the music is also good  which is scored by danny elfman  but great effects and make up dont make a great film  scrooged is an appaling attempt to inject some christmas spirit into the audience  seeing as the first 1 hour 20 minutes of the film are so depressing anyway  and the last ten minutes had to make up for it with an godawful speech  why didnt cross just look out his exec window  and ask a young boy to buy a goose for him  overall  then  youd have a much better christmas if you avoid this film like something that should be avoided  perhaps a plague  
neg	synopsis  a maniac  crazed by virulent microphage  slaughters more than twenty people  including a street gang and heavilyarmed troops  with a small knife  even with a handgun  however  he cant take out the two cops who are after him  despite having shot one of them a total of seven times  comments  the most notable aspect of adrenalin  fear the rush is that it marks a striking career move for natasha henstridge  not only does she manage to keep all her clothes on  her trademark in earlier films such as species and maximum risk was to strip naked as often as possible   but she actually puts on even more clothes as the film progresses  this will probably disappoint many henstridge fans  but i welcome the change because henstridge is an attractive  capable actress who deserves less exploitative roles  though  i admit  it doesnt show in this mess   henstridge  just like every other actor in the film  delivers a wooden performance in this monumental turkey   the cast also includes christopher lambert  who has appeared in the highlander and mortal kombat films   how on earth this movie got two bigname stars to appear in it is beyond me  adrenalin  fear the rush is set in boston ten years in the future  2007   boston has changed dramatically in those ten years  it is now home to a bunch of interred foreigners and policed by cops who drive around in small cars with  policia  printed on their doors  some guy has a really bad virus  and hes killing people because of it  so  the brave good guys  lambert and henstridge  go after him  thats it  76 minutes never seemed so long  this is a drawnout chase scene through dimlylit abandoned buildings turned into an entire movie  the plot development is nil  we learn absolutely nothing about lamberts character and very little about henstridges character  the dialogue is littered with unnecessary obscenities and concerns mindnumbingly idiotic arguments over who will go down the next dark corridortunnelairduct next and who will carry the flashlight  a subplot does exist involving henstridges characters illegal attempt to get her son out of boston  in her opening monologue  a monologue which sounds as though henstridge was reading from cue cards  we learn that she has gone to great lengths to secure a fake passport for her son  twenty minutes into the film  i wondered if the movie would have been better if it focused on this plot  in a defining scene of the movie  however  i changed my mind  this fake passport drops to the ground  lamberts cop immediately recognizes it as a fraud from six feet away  must not have been a good fake  this emphasizes another fault with the film  things just defy common sense  lamberts cop  for instance  is shot seven times  yet he is still able to talk and slide about  adrenalin  fear the rush ends in a trite manner that doesnt seem to even fit the mood that the filmmakers were trying for  i found myself rather bored with this film  which will disappoint both scifihorror fans and fans of henstridge and lambert  dont fear the rush  fear the movie  watch something else  
neg	postchasing amy  a slew of lovetriangle movies  this month we have kissing a fool  costarring amys own lee  and april brings us the object of my affection  which may as well be titled chasing allan  for it is the story of a woman who falls in love with her gay roommate   to be absolutely six degrees of kevin bacon about it  that film stars schwimmers friend jennifer aniston   if only kevin smith could write them all    schwimmer stars as womanizing chicago sportscaster max  who falls in love with his best friend jay  lee  s book editor samantha  avital  a mere twentyfour hours after meeting her  they are soon engaged  and max  because of his own raging libido  grows suspicious of samanthas fidelity  he convinces jay to flirt with samantha during the development of his book  to  test her   the trouble is  jay might be secretly in love with her  to stretch this flat  sitcom premise to feature length  the plot is framed by a climactic wedding  at which bonnie hunt recounts the triangular talethe events leading up to the nuptialsto an annoying fat man and his silly girlfriend  hunt has the best comic timing of anyone in the film  schwimmer can spin bad dialogue into mildly humorous dialogue  and lee  poor lee  is miscast  so hysterically funny in chasing amy  here he is forced to repress his comic instincts  to swear  to yell  to talk about oral sex    the scripts idea of a character trait is to stress that jay is a  sensitive man   and then show him drinking pepto bismol when hes stewing over his girl trouble  as for avital  an israeli actress  she is warm and sweet  but we dont know anything about her character other than that it takes her an incredibly long time to realize the most obvious things  she also too closely resembles the stunningly beautiful kari wuhrer  who plays schwimmers assistant and personal temptress  turning that particular subplot into an unintentional riff on vertigo  there are a handful  a smattering  of good scenes in kissing a fool  i enjoyed a moment in a comedy club  during which jay gets up and asks  has anyone here ever hated their girlfriend so much you wanted to kill her   over and over until hes booted off stage  there are also a few obviously improvised lines that are fresher than anything thats on the page  kissing a fool is never as clever as the thursday night jokemachine friends that spawned schwimmers movie career  so save yourself eight dollars and watch three episodes of that series back to back  
neg	yet another brainless teen flick  this one is about  surprise  drugs and sex  stars katie holmes and sarah polly couldnt look more bored  their characters are cardboard cutouts of every cliched teenager out there  one thing you need to know is i really hated this movie  everything about it annoyed the hell out of me  the acting  and script  the plot  and ending  the director  of the fluke hit swingers  could have very well directed a bunch of noname actors and had a watchabe film  the  big  stars of go pretty much drown the project of any originality  i felt like i was watching dawsons creek episode 200  although the film still would have stayed at red despite its cast  the  surprise  ending was sooo predictable  since when is a male characters sudden outing of the closet considered a surprise in hollywood anymore   go is dawsons creek  varsity blues  shes all that  go home and watch something else  
neg	set in harlem during the great depression  rival gangster  families  go to war over control of  the numbers   an illegal gambling lottery   runners  take bets from potential lottery winners and deliver them to private locations for drawings  the undisputed leader of the harlem numbers is the madame queen  cicely tyson  who is challenged by dutch schulz  tim roth   a ruthless hoodlum  by turning against the queen  dutch defies his partner  the infamous lucky luciano  andy garcia   who wishes to respect the queen and keep the peace  the queens army strengthens when an acquaintance  ellsworth  bumpy  johnson  lawrence fishburne  is released from prison and becomes a bodyguard for her  he proves himself worthy in short time as he thwarts an assassination attempt  on himself and the queen   and later takes control of the queens army when she is jailed for tax evasion  bumpys reign is not as restrained and subdued as the queen and he declares all out war on dutch  bloody gang warfare ensues  bumpy faces many obstacles during his reign  his new army questions his methods  his girlfriend  vanessa l  williams  and the queen disagree with his violent solutions  most importantly  in his eyes   dutch has become a more formidable foe than he imagined  and seeks help from lucky luciano to assassinate him  there have been so many movies dealing with organized crime that it must be hard to write an original story dealing with it  this movie is not original at all  in fact  i was angered by how many similarities there was between this film and  arguably  the best gangster movie of all time  the godfather  if you are going to borrow ideas from another movie and not give credit  why not borrow from a lesser known movie  say  millers crossing    how could the credited screenwriter chris brancato not give credit to mario puzo himself  here are just some of the major similarities  i stopped counting at 10   crooked cop assaults blood relative of the leader  gang extracts revenge on crooked cop  wife  or girlfriend  questions her partners murderous activities and leaves him  high ranking  officer  betrays the leader  blood relative of the leader murdered  war erupting between the  families   highranking officer disapproves of the leader in front of other family members  new leader runs family differently from previous leader  large meeting with all families involved  the setup in this movie is done rather well  i enjoyed the portrayal of the network of  runners  sprinting through the streets collecting bets for the queens lottery  this was the way of life in harlem  and most people involved with the queen did so because it was the only way to support their families and put food on the table  number running was the only way for the harlem population to find work  i also enjoyed the interaction between the angry  violent dutch and the calm  patient lucky  after about the 3040 minute mark all of the similarities with the godfather start appearing  one after the other  and in short order   it was a huge distraction  and an insult to my intelligence  who was the screenwriter kidding here  some of the individual performances were well done  andy garcia was very convincing as lucky  unfortunately his screen time is reduced to a supporting role  tim roth effectively plays the cocky villain  much like his roles in  the cook  the thief  his wife and her lover  and  rob roy   the good performances and convincing setup during the first third of the movie do not make up for the lackluster story that follows  a couple of coincidences is one thing  over a dozen is an insult  directed by bill duke ellsworth bumpy johnson        lawrence fishburne dutch schultz             tim roth lucky luciano           andy garcia the queen              cicely tyson francine hughes           vanessa l  williams illinois gordon           chi mcbride written by randy turgeon  january 22  1998 
neg	at first glance  i thought that the sword and the sorceror had promise  its plotline goes like this  the evil king cromwell  desiring to take over the world  resurrects an evil  ancient sorceror  xusia for power  he attacks the kingdom of ehdan and kills young prince talons parents  given a triplebladed sword  which can shoot bad guys  like a gun  by his dying father  talon vows for revenge  eleven years later  when hes established his own army  the mercaneries  he vows to take back his kingdom  along the way  he meets up with alana  whose village is attacked by drunken guards and her brother is kidnapped by cromwell  talon vows to help  and  after a series of minor escapades  eventually ends up rescuing alanas brother  and several other prisoners   only to be captured himself  in other words  put on a cross to be crucified    fortunately he frees himself  rescues alana from marrying cromwell  defeats xusia  and then cromwell  all with his triple bladed sword  during the final battle  the blade breaks  but talon finishes cromwell off by using a hidden dagger in the blade   then  everything ends happily  unfortunately  the sword and the sorcerer is not even half as good as it sounds  what would have been a great film is completely destroyed by uneven plot jumping  bad acting  and gruesomely gory  bloody scenes  never once does the story seem to connect together  it just jumps around repeatedly  this problem is extremely noticeable in the opening scene where cromwell resurrects xusia  after telling him that he needs his help  he leads the warlock out into daylight  but then stabs him and sends him careening off a cliff afterwards  wait a minute  didnt the plotline say that he needs the help of xusia in order to invade ehdan  which he cannot do by military force  if that is the case  why does he dispose of xusia after resurrecting him  and why does he manage to take over ehdan anyway  these questions are just never  no  never  answered in the film  another example is that one moment we see talon fighting for his life  another moment we see him just about to be crucified during alanas wedding to cromwell     and finally at the end  instead of settling down with alana  he just tells her to  wait   and then he just rides off  in addition to the extremely bloody scenes  this uneven plot jumping completely destroys what would have been a great fantasy adventure  even some attempts to make it exciting  a few fire scenes  battle scenes  dont work  it just completely fails altogether miserably  the only good thing about this film is its musical score  contributed by david whittaker  who had an  extremely  short music composing career  the score is boomy and adventurous  powerful  and a billion times better than this film is  my suggestion  steer the hell away from this bloody mess and buy the soundtrack album instead  if you can find it   ironically  though  before the films credits roll  there is a message indicating that a sequel  tales of the ancient empire  would follow  to my relief  and delight   it never got into production  because the sword and the sorcerer laid an egg at the box office  grossing only 39 million  critics were right on in slamming the sword and the sorcerer  all right  leonard maltin rightfully called it  second rate in scripting  and acting  and ataglance film reviews called it  a confusing  stupid  unimaginative  unengaging  bloodfilled bore   i totally agree with these reviews  all right  and i hope that this piece of   will be forgotten about  there are far better fantasy movies than the sword and the sorcerer  i hope you get a good laugh out of this review  but i am not laughing  in fact  my insults dont even come close to the gruesome sickness that this film gave me throughout its 100 minute running time  
neg	this movie stinks  although it is professionally crafted and there are some decent performances  the plot is so bad it drags the film into the abyss  i knew i was in for trouble when  during the opening establishment shots  we see a detailed closeup of warrant officer paul brenners  john travolta  military identification card and it is the wrong color  this might seem like a minor detail  but anyone who has spent anytime with the military knows that active duty identification cards are green and dependant cards are yellow  and what about the senior military officer whose uniform shirt is so wrinkled he looks like he is a recruit on his first day of training  or what about when brenner tells a suspect that  because he is in the military  he doesnt have the right not to answer his questions even though these rights were central to military law well before the miranda decision  how hard is it to get someone familiar with the military to check these facts  now details like this could be overlooked if the underlying story held up  but this story is so full of holes it is painful to sit through  for example  at the beginning of the film  paul brenner  an undercover army investigator  gets into a gun and knife battle at his offpost houseboat and windsup killing an arms dealer he had been investigating  the local police investigating the death are openly hostile to the military and they discover that brenner has been lying to them about the killing  but instead of arresting him  or at least take him into custody for further questioning  they release him  duh  ultimately  brenner gets assigned to investigate the murder and possible rape of the commanding generals daughter  a young captain also assigned to the post  when brenner finds graphic sex tapes featuring the generals daughter  does he use them to generate a suspect list and begin grilling suspects  no  his instinct is to suppress them because they might be potentially embarrassing  eventually  brenner discovers that this murder is related to a violent gang rape at west point eight years earlier  i wont even go into the totally unbelievable rationale for the armys suppression of this horrendous crime  i will just mention one final flaw  brenner is investigating a crime that occurred in georgia  the rape occurred in west point  which is in new york  he is under a very tight  and totally implausible  36hour deadline to solve this case  he needs to discuss the rape with a psychiatrist at west point  does he phone the doctor  no  he travels  via some unexplained very fast transport  to new york to question the psychiatrist in person  and then he returns to georgia  again by the miracle transport   without once worrying about the impact any of this will have on his deadline  you have been warned  stay away from this one  
neg	 it was not scary   these are the first words that came to mind after it was over  when a movie is called vampires   not scary  arent words that should be associated with it  but that wasnt my only gripe  john carpenter is a name associated with cuttingedge cinema  as in the intense scares of halloween  the thing and the prince of darkness  or the offbeat action of they live and escape from new york  unfortunately  the only thing that is cutting edge about vampires is the level of boredom the movie is able to reach  with an anemic plot and notquitekosher special effects  john carpenters vampires has barely enough substance to slake the thirst of even the least discerning genre fan  the film is at first concerned with a group of roaming vampire slayers  led by james woods  of all people  like some sort of holy ateam  they even have their own soupedup van   the bunch invade and wipe out a nest of vampires in a new mexico shack  their method is amusingly innovative  the bloodsuckers are reeled out with harpoons so they can flare up in the sun like matchsticks  to commemorate their victory  the loutish band decorates a motel room with hookers and parties the night away  their celebration is shortlived  however  as a master vampire named valek ambushes and singlehandedly destroys most of the team  woods jack crow and buddy montoya  daniel baldwin  escape with their lives  along with a woman named katrina  sheryl lee   although the woman has been bitten  montoya and crow decide to keep katrina for her psychic link to the master vampire  the rest of the movie is concerned with the boys hunt for valek  thomas ian griffith   a freaky marilyn mansontype whos on a mission that dates back 600 years  along the way they pick up a priest named guiteau  tim guinee   a character who serves pretty much the same purpose as the jittery cpl  upham in saving private ryan  some stuff happens in the middle of the movie  but i cant remember most of it  because i often found a twitching hair in the corner of the frame more interesting than what was happening on screen  vampires finally starts to pick up about 90 minutes into the mix  as crow  guiteau  and montoya assault an abandoned prisonturned vampire nest  only then does the film begin to even resemble a carpenter flick  but its too little too late  we get the inevitable final confrontation  but it seems tacked on and rather anticlimactic  come on  were dealing with the master vampire here   interestingly  last summers vampire actioner blade was derived from a comic book  and vampires from a novel  yet the latter seems more steeped in campy cheesiness than the former  a more deliberate superhero flick  woods jack crow spouts glib offthecuff oneliners and strolls away from exploding buildings with that ohsocool stride  and his motive for killing vampires  take a wild guess   hint  a  killed his  when he was just a    at least blade had decent action and slick stylishness  vampires lacks even cheap thrills to mask its gossamerthin plot  to make up for this  the movie resorts to other  shocks   such as its generally condescending attitude towards women  crow slaps them around for the fun of it  and an overplayed contempt for religion  crow teases guiteau incessantly about whether his vow of celibacy has made him prone to  getting woodies    it can be argued that maybe i wanted too much from this movie  if not scary and gory  i wanted tense  relentless  and exhausting  john carpenters vampires is none of these  i can only recommended it for the hardcore carpenter fan  for the rest of you looking for a good scare  beware  vampires is a film with no teeth  
neg	perhaps best remembered as the recently departed news anchor on saturday night live who always started the segment with     this is the fake news   norm macdonald  at times  could elicit some laughter by blurting out semioffensive phrases in his raspy voice  coated with a condescending attitude  his shtick was marked by crassness  in this movie  for example  when his girlfriend says that shes kicking him out because hes been fired from 14 different jobs over the last 3 months  he tries to calm the situation by saying   maybe youll feel better after we have some dirty sex   this kind of humor can only go so far  but certainly cant go the distance in a fulllength feature   dirty work   is nothing more than a sophomoric comedy about two best friends who grow up only physically  emotionally  theyve never outgrown their pubescent years  which is somewhat amusingly explored in a beginning flashback  although having no apparent real world skills  the one thing that these two have always been adept at is getting back at people  if the meter maid was unjust in giving you a ticket  then dump a bunch of unpopped kernels of corn onto the engine block and watch the car burst apart  mitch  norm macdonald  and sam  artie lange  need to come up with 50  000 in a period of two weeks so that sams dad  jack warden  can have a heart operation  their idea is to start a revengeforhire business where theyll do your dirty work  in the funniest scene  and possibly the only funny scene  of the movie  they take advantage of a live television shoot at a nearby used car lot  their presence is established  but when a lessthanhonorable real estate developer hires them and then reneges on the payment  the two go to work to exact their sordid brand of revenge  by default  dirty work should treat us to some outrageous revenge plots  but it delivers jerky boys level material  except for the bit at the used car lot  and possibly another episode that involves frat brothers   the dirty work is uninspired and becomes about as funny as a prank phone call  already weak on material  it further spirals itself towards the video store by having jack warden constantly blurt out that he has an unsatisfied libido and needs broads and also includes a very unfunny chevy chase as a bumbling doctor with a gambling addiction  but whats really painfully evident is that norm macdonald has no versatility as an actor  relying on his trademark of speaking into his personal recorder and saying  note to self    note to self  learn to fight   he says after getting beat up   note to self  theres always beer   he says after hitting rock bottom  etc    we feel like were just watching an elongated rehash of his notsoglorious days on saturday night live  much like the television show  for 90 minutes we get one or two funny bits  the rest of the story is just dead space  
neg	summer movies are  by nature  dumb affairs that are usually made for some quick enjoyment and to make money  wild wild west  the latest will smith affair  follows much the same formula  except that it is dumber and less enjoying than most summer movies  will smith plays jim west  a black sheriff with a nice line in sunglasses  he is called by president grant  kline  to go on a mission to find out why top government scientists are disappearing  west is paired up with scientist artemus gordon  kline again  and the two track the missing scientists to a legless mastermind  named dr  loveless  branagh  with a zany moustache   before i pile on with the many negatives in this sorry affair  ill give it a chance with the positives  theres a nice credit sequence  the production design by bo welch is pleasing to the eye  and the special effects are decent enough  theres also a pleasant soundtrack  buried deep in the dross are one or two amusing jokes  and salma hayek pops up as the female interest  which is always nice to see  apart from these factors  though  nothing else in wild wild west works  firstly  theres little chemistry between smith and kline  who appears to be in it purely for the money  one would expect zingers passing between the two  none arise  both of them plod through the below standard plot  knowing that there is a pay cheque waiting at the end  not even kenneth branagh provides much entertainment  although he is over the top  the material doesnt present much opportunity for branagh to be truly crazy  therefore  he just comes across as loud as obnoxious  the only enjoyable performance comes from the sexy salma hayek  who is given so little screen time its embarrassing  she appears to be in the film to merely show off her body  and be ogled at by kline and smith  her character also changes at a whim to fit the mechanics of the script  and there is no sense of realism about the character  the humour in the film is also very off  will smith put a little spin to his daft lines in men in black  here  not even smith could save the humour on display  the script largely boils down to insults that arent very funny  and oneliners that barely raise a smirk  its also somewhat racist  although it doesnt intend to be  with one scene with jim west trying to wisecrack his way out of a lynching  and actually says slavery is good to save himself  its not a funny scene  and the whole thing comes off rather uncomfortably  the film also makes the tragic mistake that a man  in this case kline  in a dress is automatically unfunny  it isnt  but the wild wild west makes this joke even more painful to watch through pure ineptness  theres also problems with the plot  jim west and artemus gordon get caught up in all kinds of sticky situations  but the way they get out of them are always unsatisfying  and rely purely on luck  rather than audience pleasing skill  plot elements are introduced into the film  and then thrown away just as quickly  the main piece of the story  a 80 foot mechanical  steam driven spider devised by loveless looks rather impressive  but theres no particular reason why it should be built  why not loveless build a great big tank  instead of an ungainly  fragile piece of machinery thats just begging to be blown up  director barry sonnenfeld always has a breezy look to them  with some nice camera tricks  but even this is missing from this stilted affair  wild wild west could have benefited from sonnenfelds whacked out style of directing  but not much of it is evident  making this film drag out even more  its a sad thing when four  credited  screenwriters  a talented director and a willing star cant make a film work  and eventually wild wild west collapses under its sexist  mildly racist  unfunny weight  
neg	what were they thinking  nostalgia for the seventies is bad enough  but do we really need an eighties film  robbie hart  adam sandler  used to want to be a rock and roll star  but in 1985 hes singing at weddings and having a good time  a romantic at heart  he loves weddings and is just about to get married to his highschool sweetie  when she leaves him waiting at the altar  his tune changes to  love stinks   he meets waitress julia  drew barrymore  who is engaged to a junkbonds salesman and you know that they are going to get together  in fact you know everything that is going to happen during this movie  sandler is somewhat adequate in his leading man role  but there is no spark  barrymore doesnt seem to be able to convey anything other than a pretty face with nothing behind it  beauty but no attitude  both characters are just there  bit parts by steve buscemi and jon lovitz steal the show  the eighties are shoved in our face  references to deloreans  madonna   dallas   ivana and donald  burt and loni and  miami vice  get old fast  the filmmakers must have realized that there wasnt much entertainment to the story and thought they could dazzle the audience with humorous period allusions  theyre not funny and it doesnt work  with change on all fronts accelerating more and more  nostalgia appears to have a great appeal  but dont you think we could have more than 14 years before we yearn for the past  maybe we can look forward to a film next year waxing nostalgically about el nino   michael redman has written this column for over 23 years and he knows that nostalgia is not what it used to be   
neg	and just when you thought joblo was getting a little soft around the corners  not rating anything lower than your standard  this movie sucks   along comes this cinematic atrocity and hes forced to take out his secret weapon and spray it with a stench so thick  even the bravest moviegoer would think twice about seeing this waste of time  yes  despite being a third sequel to a successful original movie  the latest highlander doesnt seem to have anything going for it  oh stinky movie  let me count thee ways    plot   from what i understood  a really bad highlander dude comes to the present looking to whack out the nice highlander dudes in order to gain their power and become the mightiest immortal    or something along those lines  critique  a complete and utter mess  disjointed  incoherent  boring  corny  filled with bad dialogue    and thats just the first thirty minutes  this film doesnt seem to know what to do with itself  its confusing to anyone who doesnt know the series  i include myself in that group  and apparently idiotic to those who do know the series  i include diehard highlander fan the arrow in that group   the film doesnt explain anything about itself    it just goes from one inexplicable situation to another  one moment theyre in the present time  the next moment  theyre in italy in the 1600s  why  who knows  what are they talking about  no idea  flashbacks mixed in with the present  mixed in with a few spontaneously cheesy fight sequences every now and again  and i even remember seeing one flashback scene which went even further into its own flashback scene   hullo       confused yet  i was and i basically stopped giving a crap about anyone in the film when i realized that neither the writer or director was interested in presenting me with any kind of semblance of a story  random swordplay  mad maxlike dudes showing up in motorcycles in the 1800s  or were they in the present at that time  who knows    and to be honest    who seriously cares  this series should have been shot in the head and put out of its own misery a long time ago  but sadly  someone at the studio decided that it still had a little life left in it  please  please    for the love of god and all that is holy in the world of moviemaking  and mostly out of respect for those who loved the original film  put this series to bed and end it  even christopher lambert knew enough to play second fiddle to adrian paul in this one  the director also tries to do the best he can with the muddled material  but all he could come up with is plenty of slomo action  some fastmotion fight scenes and lots of smoke everywhere  and is there anything spectacular about the swordplay or fight scenes  nope  and i think we all could have done without all those zooming lambert face closeups    yipes  the man is not aging gracefully  is he  oh boy  and i havent even gotten around to the greatest piece of overacting that ive seen in years  the man who plays kell in this movie  bruce payne  should get a ham trophy for literally chewing up every piece of scenery that he gets near  overacting is not a hobby for this guy    its a living  hes also very funny  not purposely though  all in all  the movie stinks  nuff said  
neg	bats is an insulting slap across the face for any dedicated horror movie fan  to pull something like this off  you need to have a sense of wit and style  with a heavy dosage of humor to back up the process if the fright factor ever declines  something like the underground worm thriller tremors had just the perfect mixture of these elements  and in return  the film was tremendous fun  with the notable exception of a wisecracking supporting player  bats mainly plays its premise for straightarrow horror  judging by the ridiculous premise  this was not exactly a wise move  the movie attempts to capture the essence of alfred hitchcocks the birds  but fails miserably  done right  it could have been adequately amusing halloween cinema  unfortunately  bats is a prime example of a formula movie done terribly  terribly wrong  the only thing amusing about this festering pile of guano is in how intelligible the filmmakers anticipate their core audience to be  i will recite the following paragraph in a manner that will reach the audience of individuals to whom bats is aimed toward  those guys in hollywood have made a movie about bats  these bats are not very nice  because they eat a lot of people  boy  are these bats ugly  they are infected with this bogus virus that makes them superduper smart  theyve got big claws and red eyes and they are not very friendly at all  a whole bunch of people in texas get killed  so a sheriff guy and a scientist lady are brought in to kill the bats  they have big guns and other cool things to fight them with  but the bats are pretty smart  so its sorta hard to do  the bats swoop down and they shoot at them to make they go away for good  but no  bats is probably too violent for preschoolers  the film  directed by louis morneau  should have ventured straight into video stores  on the small screen  perhaps more fun could have been derived with lower expectations  but sitting through this crapper on the big screen is almost awkward  although at a few moments it becomes a guilty pleasure  the film is poorly written  poorly acted and executed with glaring ineptitude  even the bats themselves are cheesy  and the attack sequences too rushed and jittery to be properly enjoyed  the sheriff in the story is emmett kimsey  lou diamond phillips   who embodies every pathetic stereotype a smalltown authority figure usually portrays  he chomps on a cigar  struts contentedly in his boots  etc      the scientist is dr  sheila casper  dina meyer   who specializes in flying mammals and is classified as the best in her field  meyer uses a lot of technical terms designed to make the movie seem more intellectually capable  but everything about dr  casper is recycled beyond recognition  her memories of how she became hooked on the topic of bats sounds suspiciously like oceanographic student matt hoopers tale of how he became infatuated with sharks in jaws  everything revolving around bats is tired drivel  which desperately requires some directorial style or acting capabilities to spruce it up  the supporting cast could have been constructed out of straw  with voices dubbed in later  in fact  that may have worked out better in the end  take one glance at caspers batloathing sidekick jimmy  leon   and youll have immediate deja vu  hes the exact same humorous buddy caricature from every other movie  constructed specifically for timed comic relief  unfortunately  none of his comic interludes are funny  in the role of deranged mad scientist dr  mccabe  the reliable bob gunton gets cornered with the most hideously idiotic character in the bunch  mccabe accidentally released two experimental test subjects  and the virus spread to other bats  the entire town of gallup  texas is under attack from an enormous swarm of the creatures  but gunton appears to be inconspicuously contemplating something else  something like  when is the damn movie going to be over   i just want my money   the bats are ugly  i must say  theres the occasional moment where they look moderately convincing  but mainly  the swarm is represented in cheesy digital imagery  only bits of the bloody action even hint at the campy fun the film could have been  but by the absurdly stupid climax  its way too late in the game for a decent recovery  characters experiment in slaughtering the bats with gunfire  lets explore the logic there  is this really a very efficient way to decrease the bat population   you could empty an entire clip at the flying winged serpents and not even wound one  and after that there are only 18  000 more of them  this kind of behavior represents the regular level of intelligence behind bats  
neg	the most interesting part of  cant hardly wait  just happens to be not only the most human  but for many of us  the one part that many of us can easily relate to  that is the character of denise  lauren ambrose   the films sole sarcastic member who mocks everything that goes on in the film  and at one point sits down on a couch and looks totally bored  the film wisely holds over this moment  nicely showing her alienation in the midst of a large high school party    almost too nicely  for some members of the audience  read  me   this is basically a mirror of whats going on with them watching this film  we sit there wondering why weve even bothered to see a film about a long high school party we probably never felt the desire to go to in the first place  i would actually highly recommend this film if it satirized all of this  after all  this film is filled with a bunch of pathetic stereotypes much of which i went to high school with  everyones here  the jock  the homecoming queen  the nerd  and his dominions of trekkies and xphiles   the alienated wannabe writer  the school spirit girl  the pothead  s   the wigger  etc  etc  etc  and weirdly enough this film shows them as superficial  lame  and basically as a bunch of losers  except for denise  who rolls her eyes at everything  and easily becomes the most likable character even before she speaks  her yearbook entry  something which is done for each main character  quotes oscar wilde  definite pointers there   unfortunately  the writers and directors take several major misteps on the way to making this into an admirable and even likable film  the film  as i said  portrays most of its characters as superficial and just totally ignorant to everything  however  instead of sticking with this  perhaps even going a bit further with it  they let this lie  and actually make these characters into our heroes  we follow several of them  all a bunch of moronic stereotypes with only a shread of humanity and realism  and tries to tell boring and overly melodramatic tales about them as if we actually cared andor identified with them  and if we did  we certainly dont want to revisit that state of being  heres a quick lowdown  its graduation  and we follow a bunch of seniors on the last night  otherwise known as the  american grafitti  or  to a lesser extent  the  dazed and confused  cliche  the formal just followed them as they drove aimlessly  the latter did a little bit of that and featured a big outdoor keg party   cant hardly wait  just opts for a big indoor keg party  and a little bit of aimless driving  albeit of the imwhiningbecauseicantgetagirliwant brand  we follow many people around  but mostly we trail preston  ethan embry  of  that thing you do     the alienated writer  whos been pining over the homcoming queen  amanda  the totally overrated jennifer love hewitt   for the entirety of high school because he thinks they shared a moment their freshman year over a freaking pop tart  now that shes broken up with her football player boyfriend  mike  peter facinelli   he decides to go to the party with a note hes written declaring his  love  for her in the hopes hell build up the guts to give it to her    even though hes leaving for a multiweek intensive writing program hosted by none other than kurt vonnegut  okay  the ingenius vonnegut or some icky noxema spokesperson    since that plot is incredibly lame and a track record of what goes on with it wouldnt be able to carry a commercial let alone a feature film  and because its a party  there are some more main characters  such as  william  charlie korsmo  finally surfacing after  dick tracy    the nerd  and his dominions  who has come up with a ridiculous plan to publically sabotage mike  whos humiliated him for years  but gets too caught up in drinking to do it  kenny  seth green   the wigger  who has decided that this party will be where he will finally get laid  uh huh   and denise  the only exceptional character  who unfortunately gets stuck in a bathroom  dont ask  with kenny where the two characters let down their characters and are allowed to follow the laws of plot cliches from point a to point b with nary a bit of characterization involved after awhile  ugh  the main comparison this film is getting to another film is actually not  american grafitti  or  dazed and confused   two films that embraced and ultimately made humans out of many of its high schoolers  not to mention were extremely entertaining   but to john hughes films of the 80s  most notably  sixteen candles   the big difference in the two is that that film managed to not only embrace but even satirize its main characters  and did so equally and in an entertaining fashion  this film forgets to satirize its characters  and ultimately tells a story about a bunch of uninteresting stereotypes    and then says that its all okay  we cant take this film seriously  nor can we take this as fun  so really what good is it  but i will tell you some things i did like  i liked the direction  except for a couple toooverthetop features  like waytooglossy jump cuts  its like an oxymoron  and other obscurities  generally  though  elfont and kaplan do have graceful camera movement  and even manage to capture an altmanesque feel to their film from time to time  a thing with a note  though  is too hokey to really be admirable   i actually did like seth green  for once in about a decade  when he played a very young woody allen in  radio days    his desintegration of his wigger character was almost believable    almost  and  of course  lauren ambrose is wonderful as denise  the one character we could have used some more of  even though it would have changed the entirety of the film  however  the character of denise really doesnt work with the film  when really thought about  shes far too witty and realized  at least for the first half  to belong in this film  and whenever she appears  she automatically gives everything a delightfully satirical tone  shes not just the cynic or the intellectual  shes just a very interesting character who provides entertainment even if it further damages other already damaged characters  she may ruin the film more  but at least when shes on screen we can sit up and think to ourselves  well  at least well be entertained   a couple other things that just dont work  mikes character  who suffers an epiphany throughout the film but in the end acts as though he has forgotten everything  too much the sacrificial lamb for the film in general  the aimless  bitchy driving by preston to try and get over his inability to shack up with amanda  give me a break  and perhaps the one thing that just doesnt work at all  jenna eflmans uncredited cameo as an angel  just didnt work  but nice try  basically the worst thing about this film  the real reason im giving this such a low rating  is because it refuses to give us any fully realized characters and then insists we follow around complete stereotypes from other movies doing things that are inane and unlike anything wed do  we dont feel for these characters because for most of us  we arent stereotypes going through the motions to worn subplots  the acid test for high school movies is  does it at all capture the feel of what its portraying  the answer for this film is no  nice try  though  
neg	the film may be called mercury rising  but that title doesnt describe the trajectory taken by this motion picture  a routine thriller that combines government coverups with a cloying and poorlymotivated buddy story  the  hook  that is supposed to make mercury rising unique is that the young protagonist is autistic  however  aside from giving actor miko hughes a chance to win raves for his performance  this particular aspect of the film comes across as nothing more than a convenient plot device  those expecting to see even a semithorough exploration of the condition will be disappointed  mercury rising treats autism with the same degree of efficiency that many action thrillers accord to alcoholism  the script for mercury rising is exceptionally tiresome and hard toswallow  i dont know whether the problem is in the original book  simple simon  or in the screenplay adaptation  but this movie easily exceeds the intangible threshold beyond which a suspension of disbelief is no longer possible  once again  certain standby plot elements  the highlevel government conspiracy and the maverick law enforcement agent  are recycled  and not to good effect  while bruce willis can play the action hero as well as anyone in hollywood  this particular outing leaves him marooned in situations that are characterized by too little tension and too much nonsense  the story begins with a formulaic sequence in which the tough fbi agent with a heart of gold  art jeffries  bruce willis   is confronted with his own failure  unable to resolve a hostage crisis in time  he is forced to observe as two teenagers are shot to death  the event weighs heavily on his conscience and heavyhandedly establishes his motivation for protecting 9year old simon lynch  miko hughes  when he discovers the autistic child hiding in a closet after his parents have been gunned down by the evil hit man who looks like an exfootball player  soon  art and simon are on the run from seemingly everyone  fleeing for their lives and bonding at the same time  with the evil hit man who looks like an exfootball player always just a step behind them  along the way  they are helped by the best friend who defies orders to help out his buddy  chi mcbride  and the supporting female who may or may not become a love interest  kim dickens   why is simon in danger and why were his parents turned into swiss cheese by the evil hit man who looks like an exfootball player  apparently  the government has spent millions of dollars developing an ultrasecret code called  mercury   to make sure it cant be cracked  they do the most intuitive thing possible  place a sample of it in a  nerds puzzle magazine   of course  no one can solve it  no one except autistic simon  that is  when he calls the phone number listed in the solution  he gets the nsa  as a result  the coldhearted  sneering government man  alec baldwin  decides that simon has to be eliminated  for the good of the country  of course  but he hasnt counted on the tough fbi agent with a heart of gold  even though everyone in the audience has  its hard to get worked up about a routine thriller that doesnt do anything exceptionally well  and does quite a few things rather poorly  for those who are desperate to find elements of this movie to like  mercury rising manages to manufacture tension from timetotime  but even the most exciting scenes  such as the one where art and simon are crouched down  avoiding passing trains  arent that pulsepounding  the climactic struggle is a real hohum affair which leads to a finale that is painful in its obviousness  overall  director harold becker is constantly struggling  and failing  to generate even a moment that isnt derivative or obligatory  bruce willis star seems to be fading  this is his fourth straight lackluster outing  following last man standing  the fifth element  and the jackal  willis isnt terrible  but this is the kind of role he can sleepwalk through  and often does  alec baldwin  combining elements of his characters from glengarry glenn ross and malice  does some scenery chewing  but his performance is surprisingly lacking in menace  the films real star is young miko hughes  heather langenkamps son in wes cravens new nightmare   who does as good a job as dustin hoffman playing an autistic individual  but is about 50 years younger  mercury rising joins the likes of hard rain  the replacement killers  and u  s  marshals on the heap of pallid 1998 thrillers  for those who like action and adventure in the theater  this has not been a good year  hopefully  the advent of summer will change that  until then  the best choices  for bruce willis or any other action hero  are on video  and  if youre determined to see mercury rising  check out the morning sky in early may  
neg	 alcohol and drugs  bad  not alcohol and drugs  good  got it   just when you though youve seen enough of brave young women dealing with their personal problems on screen  be that insanity or alcoholism  hollywood releases yet another one of those deep  emotional stories about finding yourself   28 days is practically a visualization of the usual meaningful true stories that people are so proudly retelling at aameetings  gwennie  sandra bullock  is a young woman who drowned her problems in alcohol  for her life was a big party  with no beginning and no end  this behavior has of course estranged her from her only sister and from life itself  her existence is filled with endless parties and comic episodes  such as when she got drunk with boyfriend jasper  dominic west   borrowed her sisters  elizabeth perkins  wedding limo and crashed it into someones house  this time she had to pay with a 28 day stay in courtordered rehab  here she must realize that the only thing that can save her is her is redemption  willpower and commitment  most important she must realize her place and direction in life and understand that her life is not just a big party  the film itself feels like a rehab program  whining and moaning about things that have been said and written a million times  it is a classic cautionary tale  an echo  a big  fat and expensive clich   a shadow of last years girl  interrupted  which likewise followed in the footsteps of great masterpieces like the cuckoos nest and trainspotting  director betty thomas has stuffed her film with so many failures and errors  that it is impossible to sum them all up in one review  for some paranoid reason she decided to make her film a dramacomedy  jokes and funny characters almost deliberately delude you from the really important and complex issues  alienation  despair  terror  confusion  loneliness  and what awesome power and strength of character it actually takes to overcome all that and become clean  isnt that what the filmmakers wanted to show in the first place  even the transition process itself seems like a walk in the park  betty thomas idea of hell is a cozy  homey place where happy alcoholics and cheerful drug addicts are not allowed to smoke  drink or watch tv after 11  it is simply too light  simplified and unnecessary sweet to be taken seriously  but the worst thing about it is that it actually thinks that it is saying something of significance  that it actually tries to educate the audience with its extremely predictable and primitive story   all you need to do is just say no   says dr  cornell  steve buscemi  as if was the revelation of the century  and thats how simple it is  in fact i would rather watch lost in space once again  than return to 28 days  as for acting  its acceptable  but hardly anything else  for sandra bullock its an opportunity to demonstrate that she is capable of more than speed  she handles her part with a surprising professionalism and ease that certainly saves the film from being a complete flop  dominic west shines as the source of gwenies devilish temptations  but elizabeth perkins and steve buscemis great talents are wasted on unnoticeable and shallow characters  although intellectually girl  interrupted was a greater achievement  28 days is superior in its visual aspect  there are some nice flash back sequences and occasionally impressive pacing  but the overall technical aspect of this film is on the ground floor  the most important thing is that weve seen it before and it was a lot better  clean and sober  only when i laugh  when a man loves a woman  leaving las vegas and many other stronger films were made about the same issues  so whats the point  in other words 28 days doesnt contribute to the moviemaking business on any level  if youre caught in a snowstorm or bolts of lightning fall from the sky and youre standing in front of the movie theatre  you might as well go in and watch 28 days  under all other circumstances stay away  because this film equals 8 and 103 minutes lost  
neg	capsule  combine one quart of raiders of the lost ark  a dash of a jackie chan movie  sans jackie   two teaspoons of gun and swordplay  and a dollop of cgi  simmer for 100 minutes  yields  zilch  the phantom is a depressing and tired retread of so many earlier  better movies that after the fifteenminute mark i started cataloguing them out loud  its hard to make a good actionadventure movie that doesnt simply recycle its predecessors  and ive seen movies that even at least did the recycling gracefully  the phantom  allegedly based on the longrunning comic of the same name  doesnt even bother to be graceful  its a stupid and incompetent movie in too many ways to list  but ill try  the film opens up with a  prelude  sequence that looks like it was slashed to ribbons in the editing and then given a heavy voiceover to compensate for whatever got thrown out  we go from there to a jungle sequence that  i swear to god  recycles the truckchase scene from raiders of the lost ark notefornote  possibly even shotforshot  right down to the moment where indy wrenched open the door and slung one of the drivers out into the brush  and then goes on to rip off the ropebridge scene from  sorcerer  as well  sorcerer  as you may well remember  was a remake of a french movie  the wages of fear  in which a bunch of lowlifes were paid piles of money to drive a truck loaded with nitro through horrible jungle terrain  both versions of that movie were far more interesting than this flick  but ive got my job to do  so back to the salt mines we go  anyway  the cinematic theft doesnt stop there  or at least the lack of inspiration  there isnt a single thing here we havent seen  and its not given to us in a way that remotely evokes our interest  we have  wheres my list   a bad girl  a tough good girl  a secret cave hideaway  which seems inspired more by dr  no than anything else   a boardroom meeting that drips with greed and venality  magical artifacts of terrible power  and caryhiroyuki tagawa wasted in another stupid role where he gets to wear a fu manchu mustache and sneer a lot and generally humiliate himself  what else is there  the plot is a waste of time  the sets alternate between big but hokey  and tiny and still hokey  there are lines in the script that are just begging to be mst3ked  and im sure once mike and the bots get the cash  theyll stick it on their sked  the only thing in the movie worth noting is billy zane  hes a good actor  and he tries very hard  even when the script is sending him down one dead alley of a scene after another  all i can say is that i pray this isnt the beginning of the end for him  although it sure looks like the final nail in the coffin for the comicbook superhero movie  
neg	a new entry in the  revisionist history  genre of filmmaking  dick suggests that two nottoobright teenage girls are the cause of the uncovering of the nations biggest presidential scandal  kirsten dunst and michelle williams star betsy and arlene  who while trying to deliver a fan letter from arlenes watergate hotel room  accidentally stumble across g  gordon liddy  played deadon by harry shearer  and the infamous breakin  when they recognize liddy later on during a white house field trip  they are ushered into a conference room  questioned as to what they know  and leave as official presidential dog walkers  the girls manage to unwittingly uncover every bit of the watergate scandal while performing their duties  but have no clue as to what they are getting involved with  when they discover that nixon  another deadon performance by dan hedaya  who actually favors nixon slightly  unlike anthony hopkins  has been abusive to checkers  the presidential dog  thanks to the conversations that he always recorded  they quit and become disillusioned  during a prank phone call the girls make to woodward and bernstein  events are set into motion that eventually lead to the presidents resignation  this film starts off promisingly with an aged woodward and bernstein arguing with each other on an obvious larry kingtype talk show  featuring a cameo by french stewart  about revealing the identity of  deep throat   from there  we are subjected to bodily function humor and just about every bad  dick  joke one can derive from this type of supposed comedy  at one point  the girls are having to scream over a high school band playing on the steps of the lincoln memorial  the band manages to stop right as dunst screams  you have to stop letting dick run your life   much to the horror of everyone standing within earshot  several other variations on this wordplay surface all throughout the film  if this movie had been smarter i would have been less likely to fault its juvenile bathroom humor  but its not  the film was apparently made for relatively younger people because every major player in the watergate scandal is introduced and shoved down the audiences throat in the least subtle way possible  i dont recall oliver stones nixon having to pander to its audience  but of course that film wasnt a comedy aimed squarely at a 1320 yearold film going audience  the only redeeming thing about this movie is its remarkable supporting cast  i wanted to see more of ferrell and mccullochs woodward and bernstein  those two characters are the sole basis for my rating  i wish they had been given more screen time  but unfortunately  they are only relegated to the final halfhour  their constant bickering and fighting over trying to get the story are a major highlight  especially mccullochs constant thwarting of ferrells attempts to gather information from the girls  who  in the course of the narrative are revealed as deep throat  so named thanks to an ill planned trip to a porno theater by betsys brother   the other members of the cast are excellent in their portrayals of their particular characters  but are given nothing to work with  id like to see the same cast portray these characters in a script more suited towards their comedic abilities  as for the two leads  dunst and williams can definitely do better  they come off as what could best be described as romy and michele  the early years in this particular film  a highly dubious distinction at best  stay through the first half of the end credits though  to see an interesting scene involving dunst and williams suggestively sucking on lollipops emblazoned with the title of the movie  an excellent idea marred by poor execution  dick could have been a great movie  less of the juvenile humor and more of the smarter comedy displayed by the woodward and bernstein scenes  could have made this film a wonderful satire of the nixon presidency as seen through the eyes of two naive fifteen year olds  as it stands though  dick offers nothing but what filmmaker kevin smith so accurately defines as  dick and poopie  jokes  and that  to me  does not make a funny movie  pg13 
neg	words i thought id never write  the sequel to urban legend lacks the grace  wit  and power of the original  put the gun to my head  pull the trigger  and put me out of my misery  better yet  put the horror genre out of its misery  when youve finished watching urban legends  final cut  youll share my same grim point of view thanks to the horrible acting  terrible script  and ridiculous directing which has become all too common today  urban legends  final cut is a smorgasbord of stolen movie ideas  mainly from the blair witch project and scream   fabulous people with perfect teeth and skin  one creepy film school  and a dog eating a freshly removed kidney from one of the movies hapless victims  urban legends delivers a story about a bunch of film students working on their thesis films to win the coveted  hitchcock award  which guarantees the winner a director deal in hollywood  one female filmmaker  jennifer morrison  the freaky dead girl from stir of echoes  writes a fiction script based on a serial killer who kills his victims according to  urban legend  tales  suddenly  her entire crew starts getting bumped off with urbanlegendary homicides  but the bodies are always missing and she is often the only witness to the killings  the killer wears a fencing mask and a long black overcoat  looking like a scorned olympian out to avenge his defeat in sydney  why this is scary is never explained  of course  the golden rule of sequels is that there must be least one recurring character for continuitys sake  urban legends has one minor  recurring character from the original who we never cared about anyway  the security guard  of all people   the other central problem is that this character has already seen the urban legend killings once before  but shes utterly clueless about whats going on around her  call it suspension of disbelief  this film is also a prime example of how horror films are now completely dead in the water  the last decent horror film was the blair witch project  and that seemed more like a snuff film than fiction  the stalking killer with crazy motivation has become a tired clich   as everyone seems to have forgotten  real horror is not about what is seen but about what is unknown  
neg	godzilla is the ultimate culmination of the  who cares about plot  summer movie  a loose remake of the 1954  classic  japanese monster movie  godzilla  king of the monsters  which is itself pretty thin in the story department   roland emmerich and dean devlins bigbudget lizardstompsmanhattan disaster flick has been written with the brain dead in mind  the script isnt just  dumbed down   its lobotomized  godzilla lives and dies on special effects alone  presumably  the primary target group for this film is teenage boys  the demographic most likely to shell out 7 repeatedly to see the same images of monsterinstigated carnage  thats not to say that females and other age groups are immune to the special effects seduction  theyre just not as readily susceptible  this is the third straight movie in a row where emmerich and devlin have demonstrated that a mastery of computergenerated visuals is far more important for making money than the ability to write and direct for actors  stargate was a financial success  independence day was a runaway hit  and  with godzilla already drowning in hype and merchandising tieins before it even opens  its virtually guaranteed at least 100 million  nice numbers for a film that could have been penned by a nottooprecocious grade school kid  godzilla isnt completely without merit  although it is close  theres a certain visceral thrill inherent in watching the giant lizard rip his way through manhattan  but it wears off quickly  frankly  while the special effects are competent  theyre not all that stunning  theres nothing new here  its jurassic park meets aliens  with a little independence day thrown in for bad measure  maybe it will require george lucas and his new star wars movie to take computergenerated visuals to the next level  godzilla never really pushes the envelope  preferring to remain within a comfort zone  the imagination of monster movies like king kong has been replaced by a crass  formulaic approach which disallows creativity   how disturbing is it to know that godzilla has been chosen to close the 51st cannes film festival   worst of all  godzilla isnt even exciting  with the possible exception of a mildly enjoyable car chase near the end  there isnt a sequence in this film that raises the pulse  even the scenes with dozens of aircraft attacking the monster are so devoid of tension and suspense that they are yawnprovoking  independence day may have been dumb  but it was full of  adrenaline moments  capable of getting the audience involved in the action  in this aspect of its production  as in so many others  godzilla is lacking  actually  part of the problem is that were never sure who were supposed to be rooting for  the green monster with an attitude or the paperthin humans trying to stop him  the plot  such as it is  can be summed up rather simply  after sinking a few ships and leaving some footprints on tropical islands  godzilla shows up in the big apple  he does some of the usual tourist things  stops by madison square garden  visits the chrysler building  goes on a walk through central park  and takes the subway  in the process  he knocks over a few buildings and steps on countless cabs  but he never has trouble with traffic jams  on hand to stop him is an elite u  s  army unit  led by a slightly lessarrogantthanusual military man  kevin dunn  and a biologist named nick tatopoulos  who has a theory about godzilla  in his opinion  the big guy is actually a lizard grown to enormous proportions as a result of the radiation given off by french atomic bomb tests in the south pacific  in nicks words  godzilla is  a mutated aberration  an incipient creature  the first of its kind   as luck would have it  nicks old girlfriend  audrey  maria pitillo   is a reporter based at a new york tv station  along with her cameraman friend  animal  hank azaria   she decides to follow nick around as he trails godzilla  then  just when the military has rejected nicks theory about why godzilla is in new york  a member of the french secret service  jean reno  recruits him for a special assignment  instead of stomping around tokyo this time  godzilla has chosen new york city  unfortunately  manhattan has been destroyed so many times in recent disaster movies  independence day  deep impact  armageddon  that its becoming boring  the whole tradition of monsters roaming around the city started with king kong  but the big ape was only about 30 feet tall  he could climb the empire state building  at ten times that height  godzilla would be more likely to knock it over  godzilla contains a few lame attempts at humor  theres an ongoing feud between animal and his wife that plays like sitcom material  an unfunny and repetitive gag about how no one can pronounce nicks last name properly  and a rather tame attack on film critics roger ebert and gene siskel  both of the popular personalities have alter egos in the film   ebert   the mayor of new york  is played by michael lerner  and  gene   lorry goldman  is his campaign manager  eberts reelection slogan is  not surprisingly   thumbs up for new york   the siskelebert stuff is amusing the first time its used  but  after a while  it grows tiresome  and  although the  characters  dont serve any real purpose  they keep popping up  godzilla is saddled with an unimpressive cast  this is largely because emmerich doesnt want to risk a human performance upstaging his lizard  thats not to say that matthew broderick and jean reno arent capable of good performances  both have done their share of solid acting in the past   but they arent alist names  then again  considering the quality of the writing  even pacino and deniro would have been hard pressed to shine  maria pitillo  dear god  plays the love interest and hank azaria  great expectations  is on hand to present what is supposed to be comic relief  ultimately  it doesnt really matter what i  or any other critic  for that matter  have to say about the movie  tristar has assumed that godzilla  like all selfproclaimed summer event motion pictures  is pretty much criticproof  it may also be wordofmouthproof  those who want to see the movie will see it no matter what i write or their friends say  so  when i go on record to assert that godzilla is one of the most idiotic blockbuster movies of all time  its like spitting into the wind  emmerich and devlin are master illusionists  waving their wands and mesmerizing audiences with their smoke and mirrors  its probably too much to hope that some day  moviegoers will wake up and realize that theyve been had  
neg	recently one night a young director named baz luhrmann couldnt sleep  he tumbled out of bed and moved over to the television where he watched mtv for an hour  then he moved to his kitchen where he spent the same amount of time eating spoiled food  then he took down a volume of shakespeares work and read it cover to cover  never really paying attention to the words or plot  and then  as a climax  he took out his video camera and pressed the  on  button  the result  william shakespeares romeo  juliet  the worst film ever made and a complete failure  though  to be fair  an interesting complete failure  the idea at the films core is to make shakespeare appealing to the crowds  this is done by moving the camera around at a rapid rate so that we cant see what is going on  and filming the dialogue in voice over  and shooting leonardo dicaprio like a calvin klein model  and making the frame go still while flashing the characters name at the bottom  and filming long tedious action sequences in slow motion  i mean  man  this is the 90s  dude  however ive seen terrible films that are fun to watch   examples are batman and robin and the island of doctor moreau   that rule doesnt apply here  this is a film that takes itself seriously  that is its major fault  another problem was pointed out by my friend  alex  who was singing songs by leonard bernstein throughout    the original play is a powerful piece of work because the author remained neutral and didnt take sides  here its clear that we are supposed to side with romeo   just look at the way they film him   from the begining hes our hero and this doesnt work  and dicaprios awful performance doesnt help  luhrmann never decides if he wants to entertain us or enlighten us  the result is a mess  you can feel him striving to be something he isnt  he tries to pull of a mix in which drag queens are filmed from purposefully arty angles  he tries very hard  key word  tries   oh look  hes filming above water action from below  pretty  what does it represent   why do people do ugly things  i scrambled away from my tv set feeling guilty as if i could never read the play again and keep a straight face  
neg	in times of crisis people are driven to desperate measures  of course what constitutes a crisis differs from person to person  what may be a disastrous situation for one  may be seen as a challenge to another  as deepak chopra is known to say   its not the ride  its the rider   unfortunately clearthinking is not always the reaction to problems  wall street wheeler dealer steven taylor  michael douglas  is a man with troubles  hes sunk his money in illegal financial activities and its blown up in his face  in a matter of days he will lose it all  his wife emily  gwyneth paltrow  is a highlyplaced un interpreter and is not happy with her life either  her marriage is cold and unfulfilling  unknown to her  her new lover david shaw  viggo mortensen  is not only a painter  but an excon with a history of bilking wealthy women of their money  emily is a prime target  shes worth over 100 million  stevens solution to his predicament is to offer david half a million to kill his wife  the artist accepts and the movie is underway  drawing from frederick knotts play and loosely based on hitchcocks dial m for murder  this is alltoo typical of summer releases  all style and no substance  and theres really not much style  director andrew davis  the accomplished witness and bestforgotten other films  has made exactly the wrong choices at almost every turn  douglas and paltrow have both shown us that they are skillful actors in previous films  mortensen showed promise in the past  here all three are walking uninterestingly through their roles with oddly waxen faces  the only person who shows any sense of life is david suchet as new york detective mohamed karaman  hes only onscreen long enough to make you think that there might be a likable person in the film and then he disappears  the first concern of a suspense film is to create suspense  surprises are important  in this movie the audience keeps waiting for something to happen  and nothing ever does  nearly every event is telegraphed in advance  closeup on this object or that action and its easy to guess whats going to happen  as the film plods towards its inevitable conclusion you keep expecting a plot twist to make the movie worthwhile  its a hopeless quest  the story doesnt make much sense  stevens wife is loaded  even with unfriendly relations  youd think that he could have talked to her about his difficulty rather than deciding to kill her  when he does decide on the dire plan he makes an unreasonable choice  if you were going to hire someone to kill your wife  would your first choice be her lover  no matter how sleazy he is  i would think there might be a chance that he would turn down the opportunity  why would steven plan the murder as a breakin in their apartment  why not just take her out as she was walking to davids loft in a bad neighborhood  while deciding among the numerous summer films  you might do well to skip this one  youll find more suspense than this movie offers by watching the weather channel  
neg	 virus  is a monster movie without a monster  any movie with a hurdle that large to overcome had better be pretty damn good otherwise  sadly   virus  does not deliver  on any level  the movie opens with the russian space station mir about to transmit something  we never find out what  to a big boat with lots of satellites on it  sudddenly  a wave of colorful lightning comes flying through space  and winds up destroying mir and using it to transmit itself to the aforementioned big boat  cut to seven days later  we meet donald sutherland and his band of seafaring vultures  see  they spend all their time sailing around looking for deadinthewater ships to rescue  and then collect the reward money  at least  i  think  thats what they do  along with many other things in the film  their reason for being out in the middle of the ocean isnt really explained  so  they stumble upon this big boat with lots of satellites on it  and decide to haul it back to russian waters  the only problem is  the crew starts disappearing onebyone and turning into borg  yes  borg  complete with the red laser beam in place of an eye  apparently  this alien lifeform can only survive if inside something electrical  so  it creates makeshift machines and uses humans for  spare parts   blah  blah  blah  i could go on forever describing the ludicrous socalled plot  but i wont  suffice it to say the most original thing about this movie is having donald sutherland play an irish man     everything else in this movie has been taken from other  better  movies  for example  many of the machines resemble those found in the littleseen japanese movie   tetsuothe iron man   and the plot is right out of  aliens   the funny thing is  i was actually expecting to enjoy this movie  i have a soft spot for cheesy monster movies  like last years underappreciated  deep rising   but  virus   as i mentioned earlier  doesnt even have a monster  it just has a big pile of circuits and wires and expects the audience to fear this ridiculous looking contraption   virus  is the type of movie that really makes you wonder what the screenwriter was thinking about when he wrote it  besides the lame  monster   its chock full of dialogue that no real person would ever say  and situations that no real person would ever allow themselves to get into  for example  there is a scene late in the movie in which one of the characters actually attempts to  negotiate  with the alien  now  i dont know about you  but if i came upon a lifeform that viewed mankind as a virus to be eliminated  i doubt that i would attempt to reason with it  that makes about as much sense as a baby squirrel calmly asking a fierce predator to spare his life  finally   virus  isnt scary  the least the filmmakers could have done was to make the movie just a little scary  as it is  its about as frightening as a box of cookies  skip  virus   if its a cool monster movie you want  rent the far superior  and the granddaddy of this genre   aliens   
neg	dr  alan grant  sam neill   jurassic park   is becoming disillusioned  paleontology is no longer the sexy science it once was since the ingen corporation cloned his subject matter  his lectures bring people interested in his adventures on isla nubla rather than his research and funding dollars are drying up  when the kirbys  william h  macy   fargo   tea leoni   the family man   ask him to be their guide for an anniversary flyover of isla sorna  the notorious site b of  the lost world   hes disdainful  but once they wave their checkbook  he reconsiders  however the kirbys havent given dr  grant their real agenda in  jurassic park iii   of course  we  the audience  have been tipped off  given that the film begins by showing us eric  trevor morgan   the patriot    a young boy  and ben  mark harelik   election   going for a paragliding adventure off that same island that goes awry  and looks like cheesy rear projection   grants established back home with a new right hand man  billy brennan  alessandro nivola   loves labours lost   on site at a dig in montana sorely lacking funds  he also pays a visit to old flame dr  ellie sattler  laura dern   jurassic park    now married to another with a young son who calls grant the dinosaur man apparently for the sole purpose of dredging her up again for the films poorly imagined finale  grant takes billy along on the kirbys trip  which is really an illegal gambit to save their son  that young paraglider  the couple arent millionaires  making grants check bogus  and theyre separated as well  eric was with amandas new boyfriend  not that that makes much sense   meaning were in for some gooey family dynamics while waiting for the dino dining  the kirbys hired hands  and obvious bait  are a threesome led by mr  udesky  michael jeter   the gift     didnt anyone consider that casting michael jeter and william h  macy together and not having them be related was a little odd   as directed by joe johnston   october sky    jumanji    spielberg only produced this one  from a risible script by peter buchman and the  election  team of alexander payne  jim taylor   jurassic park iii  is nothing more than a quickie monster flick with a couple of new dinos  a spinosauraus  which goes head to head with the trex  and pteranodons   the plot  as it were  is a series of coincidences combined with extreme leaps of faith and a trifecta of stupid cell phone tricks  the effects are no longer new  and  as shot by television cinematographer shelly johnson  rather murky looking at times  film editing by robert dalva   october sky   was presumably done by machete  to keep this down to a 90 minute run time  i know of no other reason to explain the ridiculous ending which features the survivors confronting a pack of raptors  then being saved by the most ludicrous of logic jumps within a few minutes  original music by don davis just repeats john williams original themes  while neill and young morgan attempt to inject some humor and humanity into the proceedings  the rest of the cast are plodding unexceptional   jurassic park iii  will probably provide some quick entertainment for those who go into it knowing what to expect  the same crowd who maybe liked  the lost world  jurassic park   
neg	barb wire  pamela anderson lees first foray into films  highlights the fact that her only talent lies in her silicone enhanced assets  being the only notable member of the cast  the camera lingers lustily o n her body at every opportunity  making her characters catch line   dont call me babe   sound very ironic indeed  from the very opening of the movie  we are treated to a striptease routine from anderson  ending in her hurling her stiletto smack between the eyes of a lusty male who happened to call her babe  throughout the movie  there is ample footage of enormous breasts and cleavage  if not of andersons  then at least of the female extras  this alone is enough to retitle the movie babe wire  for a plot  barb wire rehashes the casablanca storyline  it is 2017  the middle of the second american civil war  and barb wire  a former resistance fighter  runs a joint in steel harbour called hammerhead      known for attracting resistance fighters an d characters of all sorts  the bar attracts the attention of the government forces who appear dressed in nazistyle uniforms  in between bashing up helpless males and showing off her trademark breasts  barb wire has to help a former lover and his wife get to the airport on the other side of the town  past the governmentcontrolled areas  and to freedom  even the airport looks like the one in casablanca  except that the plane in the background is a modern  private jet  there are hardly any significant moments in this film  and one gets the impression that it was designed for young teenagers familiar with the dark horse comics version of  barb wire   if anything  one leaves the film with the confirmation that anderson di d not do her own stunts  who could fight and jump in a skimpy  strapless leather top  and yet keep her breasts from spilling out  only a stuntwoman  not pamela anderson lee  
neg	humanities quest for knowledge never ends  so a team of scientists and filmmakers travel to the amazon to search for a legendary indian tribe  the party consists of anthropologist steven cale  eric stoltz  and the camera team consisting of terri flores  jennifer lopez   danny rich  ice cube   gary dixon  owen wilson   denise kahlberg  kari wuhrer  and warren westridge  jonathan hyde   early on their journey they meet paul sarone  jon voight  whose boat is stuck on the shore  they agree to give him a ride to the next village  he claims to know the area well and can be useful locating the native tribe  very soon their friendliness backfires on the group because sarone turns out to be a snake hunter without scruples who only wants to catch a giant anaconda and sell it to a zoo  we dont have to wait too long for the giant snake  she just had a panther hors doevre and now is looking for the main course  our heroes paddle around in the amazonas as if it were the pool in their own backyard  no wonder giant animals mistake their splashing for a dinner bell  our anaconda is a polite one and swallows the first victim in one big gulp  enjoy  so much for the first attempt to catch her  but who would want to catch a giant snake with a fishing pole  our villain sarone shows his soft side when he stops terri from shooting the snake  too bad that anaconda is just about to strangle another member of the expedition  one by one she goes after the others  eric stoltz is stung by a giant wasp right in the beginning and is mercifully unconcious for the rest of the adventure  the rest of the crew keeps entertaining the viewer although not the way the makers of the movie had planned  however the scenes without the anaconda are rather boring  whenever the leading lady shows up were in for a laugh  the snake reminds us of a favorite character of a famous animated movie even if she should be an aweinspiring monster  her attacks always follow the same plan  one last hypnotic look  shes looking at you  kid  then she speedily wraps herself around her victim and starts to gush it down  mostly we dont see the act of devouring  but she looks nice when she wiggles away with her bulging middle part  whoever did the special effects on this movie may have wanted to go to a zoo first and study some real snakes  maybe then the anaconda model would have looked more real  the animatronics are somewhat more believable  but that didnt work for the strangling scenes  dont go see the movie for the fx  they are everything but uptodate  the viewer who likes to watch the end credits will see to hisher surprise that a snake expert was a consultant for the team  we may doubt though that he has ever seen the final result of his work  a well known american science magazine is also mentioned in the credits  but i will refrain from naming it here to avoid further damage to its reputation  the majority of viewer will have left the theater as soon as the credits start rolling  anyway  what kind of audience is the target group for this movie  hard to say  this cant be a serious horror movie  or can it  see for yourself  
neg	absolute power  the new film produced and directed by clint eastwood  attempts to be a thriller set in the world of hypocritical presidents and their murderous political staff  it is about as thrilling as a lecture on the mating habits of the south american grasshopper  one can only wonder how an utterly absurd script like the one written by william goldman could have ever interested eastwood  not only is the plot unbelievable and contrived  but even the writing itself lacks any consistency or intelligence  continually underestimating the audience  the film gives us information we already know or dont even need  details essential to the story are so improbably convenient they are annoying  like why would two unprepared secret service men carry two nightvision goggles in their car    oddly enough  the initial setup for absolute power offers interesting possibilities  a masterful jewelthief  played by clint eastwood  witnesses the murder of the wife of a powerful millionaire  played by e  g  marshall   while robbing one of marshalls mansions  he is forced to hide in the bedrooms vault  there  through a twoway mirror  he sees the wife and another man engage in passionate foreplay  their game of love quickly turns into a violent struggle as the man starts beating the woman  in self defense  the woman grabs a letteropener and stabs the man in the elbow  she raises her arm to stab again when she is fatally shot by two secret service men  the man  he is the president of the united states of america  where does the film go wrong  it cannot be the acting  clint eastwood  ed harris and gene hackman as the president give typecast  but decent performances  the cinematography is sufficient  wild and erratic during action sequences  dark and mysterious during psychologically suspenseful scenes  and calm and warm during dramatic dialogue  even the music is not as bombastic as it usually tends to be in the thrillersuspense genre  the fault clearly lies in the screenplay  and the screenplay alone  while setting up a story about misuse of power  about the true possessors of that power  and about intrigue and doublecrossing  it does not resolve it  not one buildup of suspense is resolved by an exciting climax  rather  the tense situations are left dangling at the end  giving the viewer an uneasy sense of incompleteness  an example of this is a very promising and tense buildup of a scene  in an attempt to arrest clint eastwood  the police have set up a trap at a small restaurant  police officers are everywhere  incognito of course  at the same time  not one but two hit men are preparing to kill clint eastwood when he arrives  all three parties are unaware of each others presence  this scene is tremendously exciting and the audience is wondering how clint eastwood  who might suspect this is a trap  will get himself out of this difficult position  he will probably have a brilliant plan  involving ingenious preparations  however  when he arrives at the trap  both hit men miss  how convenient  and in the confusion eastwood simply walks away  the buildup of this scene took about ten minutes  ten minutes of close ups of the hit men loading their weapons intercut with the police preparing for the trap  the scene was resolved in less than 20 seconds    parallel to the story line of catching the real killer is a cliche emotional tale about the estranged relationship between father eastwood and his daughter  the daughter blames her father for never being there for her  because he was either in jail or robbing a house somewhere  of course their relationship takes a turn for the better during the adventure and they end up a happy family  again  it is commendable that absolute power tries to deviate from the mainstream suspense film by giving room for a dramatic subplot  however  trying is simply not enough  the second story line should be subtle  original and preferably unpredictable    everything this film is not  how could a screenplay like absolute power ever get the funding to be produced  how could eastwood  who has successfully produced and directed many outstanding films such as the brilliant unforgiven  ever believe in a project like this one  i am sad to say that my respect for the actordirectorproducer has diminished substantially due to this film  director quentin tarantino once said   i can make a good movie out of any bad script   director clint eastwood obviously cannot  
neg	ever feel youre spending your whole life on the net  ouch    eating  breathing and excreting web sites  that your most meaningful relationships are being formed on the net  that you get your best sex on the net  if firsttime director hal salwen could shoot an entire movie of characters typing at their computers  he would  as it is  he settles for characters talking on the phone  denise calls up is a movie for and about the electronic generation  where characters are too caught up with their work and insecurities prefer to live out their relationships and fantasies on the phone  its a satire  and a sometimes funny one  about how we let handphones  callwaiting and answering machines run our lives  the problem  denise calls up is a movie about an idea  a darn good one  but still an 80 minutelong idea  and despite salwens attempt at plots and subplots  despite some genuinely funny moments  you can predict the movies outcome within the first fifteen minutes  you get the drift after a series of shots of characters explaining over the phone why they all couldnt make it for a party  nobody is going to be meeting anybody in this film  they would rather be talking on the phone  heres salwens plot  while all the characters are in a dysfunctional  telefixated limbo  loud quirky stranger denise calls up martin to announce that she is pregnant with his child  courtesy of the sperm he donated to the local bank  as martin progresses from slamming the phone on her to long phone conversations over the babys name  his friends  and his friends friends  get involved  courtesy of callwaiting and doublelines  in the tigher and more tantalizing subplot  barbara and jerry are set up on a blind date that neither turns up for  both profess to have too complicated schedules to ever meet  but they get it going over the phone  with repeated phone sex comes a glitch  what if the other person is simply faking it  denise calls up scores with some inspired moments  mousy barbara metamorphoses into a vamp over her cordless  everyone shares the excitement of denises delivery through a conference call to her handphone  and barbaras best friend gale is killed in a car accident while taling animatedly into another friends answering machine   as gales overlychatty aunt recounts  her cordless was knicked into her ear and lodged in her brain   but these moments are not enough to sustain the movie  the pace sags  the dialogue drags and not much acting appears to be required of the telephonetouters  and the ending is literally a nonevent as expected  everyone is too chicken to turn up for the party frank throws in gales memory despite promising over the phone that they will  we get the point  the movie appears to be intent on flogging its terribly90s statement until they have it coming out of your ears  pun intended  theres even a on the movies web site where you can win cellular phones  as if we havent had enough of these things already   watch the movie only if you find it philosophy compelling enough for a earful  the flying inkpots rating system   wait for the video    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	 book  should have remained in shadows book of shadows  blair witch 2 a film review by michael redman copyright 2000 by michael redman certain things in our lives are inevitable  death  sorrow  love  heartbreak  pain  joy  we expect these events  we know theyre going to happen and some  we even look forward to  its part of the human condition  we have also become accustomed to inevitable occurrences in our society  as we near the fall election  several of them are hitting us in the face  politicians exaggerate their own importance  our side is always right  theirs is always wrong  in the end  voters are usually forced to choose the lesser of two whocares  in hollywood the one indisputable inevitable is that if a film makes big money  there will be a sequel  even if the original story doesnt merit one  even if the first film is complete in itself  even if success is a fluke   the blair witch project  was made with a budget of 1  75 and exploded on the screen  raking in huge profits  the concept was brilliant  the filmmakers created a remarkable buzz that the story might be real  the film itself was even more convincing  the movie must be authentic  why else would such amateurish footage be on the big screen  the first film caught lightning in a bottle  the sequel proves you cant pour that old lightning into a new bottle  you have to give this effort some credit  it would have been easy to have made the same movie again with a new group of kids  it would have been easy  but of course  it wouldnt have worked  instead  book of shadows  acknowledges the first film as a movie and concentrates on the hysteria following its release  its a great scheme and possibly the only entertaining way to do a sequel  unfortunately it doesnt work either  five kids spend the night in the woods at the scene of the first film  weird stuff happens and they retreat to an old factory where one of them lives  even weirder stuff happens  some people die  theres blood and knives and none of the characters have a lick of common sense  while supposedly doing serious research  the group sets up a circle of surveillance cameras in the ruins of the old house in the woods and vows to stay alert all night awaiting a visitation  then they proceed to get totally trashed on drugs and alcohol and party down with very loud  very obnoxious heavy metal music  its a bad plan  the cast shows some early promise  a couple is doing research on a  blair witch  book  the tour guide is a former mental patient turned ebay aficionado  a goth amazon princess adds a bit of comedic relief  the obligatory hot babe is the 2000 spiritual cinematic descendent of the cute hippie chick  the cute rock and roll chick and the cute disco chick  the cute wiccan chick  the first films unaccomplished actors came across as real people in a real situation because hours and hours of video were shot during days in the woods  this time  these unaccomplished actors just come across as unaccomplished actors  theres not one character you care about when they start shouting for no reason  although what passes for a plot starts out with a solid idea  its ruined by poor execution  the followup to one of the most successful horror films ever is nothing more than a bad slasher movie  theyre trapped in an old big weird house  they stupidly separate into various rooms  there are strange noises  they see scary apparitions and people disappear  ever see this movie  seasoned documentary director joe berlinger should know better  the film features mostly cheap tricks and unnecessary gore  for a storyline filled with surprises  its oddly predicable   the blair witch project  was a rare triumph of style over substance   the book of shadows  is a triumph of tedium over promise  
neg	warren beatty  diane keaton  goldie hawn and gary shandling star as a pair of married couples whose complacent lives are about to be shaken up in director peter chelsoms version of the classic romantic  screwball comedy in  town  country   the drawing room farce of the 30s dealt with sexual innuendo and relied on wit and a great deal of commotion and noise to place the viewer in the thick of the duplicitous romantic action  back then  impossibly wealthy scions of society  with too much free time  would get themselves wrapped up in all sorts of sexual peccadilloes with spouses and lovers  only to have everything come out all right in the end  see  the philadelphia story  for a great farce   town  country  has the impossibly wealthy protagonists with too much free time  the kind of people that have jobs but never seem to work  and sexual misconduct on several levels  but  there is almost no life to original script by michael laughlin and buck henry and this is  tcs  downfall  there is  obviously  a great deal of hollywood talent  in front of and behind the camera  involved in  town  country   but  without a likable or  at least  interesting story to carry through their efforts  it is all for naught  and  thats what we get here  naught  porter stoddard  beatty  is a highpowered new york architect with a very good life indeed  his 25year marriage to ellie  diane keaton  appears  on the surface  to be perfect  but  there are cracks just below this pristine surface  his wife is suspicious of his whereabouts  his kids dont need him and his best friends  griffin  garry shandling  and mona  goldie hawn   are in the midst of a divorce  porter tries to get control of his life before it is too late  but like a man fighting against quicksand  his struggle just sinks him deeper  at the 90minute mark of  town  country  i asked myself   whats the point   i wasnt entertained  i laughed three times  over silly little pratfalls  and spent most of the film marking time til the end  warren beatty wanders around with his character in a bewildered fog  making problems for himself by thinking with a part of his anatomy other than his head  keatons ellie is an empty headed flake who cant see the obvious as porter screws around on her  and  as you get to know them  who would want friends like griffin and mona  the supporting cast is given nothing to do and  sometimes  does harm to the film  given the material they are forced to use  nastassja kinski plays a cellist with whom porter has a fling  the actress  who has  eerily  failed to age over the years  is miscast as the airheaded musician and the character doesnt belong  anyway  jenna elfman is a sweet  but smart  ditz who joins porter and griffin on one of their tacked on misadventures  andie macdowell is absolutely painful to watch as a wealthy heiress  is there any other kind in this movie   who comes on to porter  the saving grace is a pair of quirky perfs by charlton heston and marian seldes as macdowells very strange parents  glib rationalization of infidelity  like   if he doesnt speak english  it doesnt count   are a staple for the screenplay  the morality of the film seems to be  if you can get away with it  go for it  the cast of characters are mostly people you wouldnt want to know  never mind befriend  the actors do their best  but are hamstrung by the weak material  helmer chelsom  who made the outstanding  offbeat comedy  funny bones   is mired in the mess of a script and never puts his imprint on  town  country   the production values are high  as one expects from a big budget hollywood film  but  the opulent sets by caroline hanania  lavish wardrobes by molly maginnis and topnotch photography by william fraker cannot save  town  country   the film has had a long list of production and distribution problems and it might have been better  for me anyway  if hollywood just said no to this movie  i give it a d  
neg	the crown jewel of 1970s irwin allen disaster movies  the poseidon adventure features an allstar cast including gene hackman and ernest borgnine spouting some of the most laughable dramatic dialogue in movie history while trapped on a cruise ship  the story begins on the u  s  s  poseidons big new years cruise  where we are introduced to the ensemble of people who will soon be the only passengers left alive  lets see  theres the new age preacher  hackman  who advises people to  pray to that part of god within yourself   theres the excop  borgnine  who busted a hooker  stella stevens  six times  then married her  theres the hippie singer   theres got to be a morning after      who turns to the company of a lonely man  red buttons  once her brother is killed  and to round out the group  the elderly couple  jack albertson and shelley winters  who live aboard the ship  the beautiful teenage girl and her brother who are sailing alone and adventurous scotsman roddy mcdowall  we get to know these people a little too well in the first thirty minutes of the poseidon adventure  before straight faced ship captain leslie nielson looks in horror at the giant tidal wave headed right for the ship  everyones in the giant ballroom at the time  shortly past midnight of the new year  when the ship turns first on its side  then completely upside down  the second incommand wants everyone to wait in the ballroom until help arrives  but rebel hackman leads his small band of followers on a quest to the top of the ship  in this case  because the ship is overturned  the top is the bottom  or is the bottom the top  either way  we get to see a lot of bottoms because the two beautiful women in the crew are both conveniently wearing hot pants during the scenes where the camera shoots upwards while they climb up ladders and  in the ballroom scene  christmas trees  thus begins an hour or more of hushed trips down long corridors  through burning rooms  etc  while the ship slowly fills with water behind them  its a race against the clock which is only mildly interesting  the poseidon adventure works more as a bad movie to laugh at  with all the melodrama that comes inbetween the nonthrilling action scenes  the one note in borgnines onenote performance is to be a cranky old man that argues with hackman every step of the way while buttons and the hippie fall in love  although since there isnt a sex scene  we never find out if his buttons really are red  and albertson and winters wonder if theyll live to see their grandsons birth  shelley winters provides the most hilarious scene in the movie in a scene toward the end  where water has flooded the next two rooms of the ship and hackman is preparing to dive under with a rope for the rest of them to pull along  winters  who has been the whiny fat woman throughout the movie  stevens even notso affectionately calls her  fatass  in one scene   finally finds her purpose   i was the underwater swimming champ of new york three years running when i was seventeen   she brags  and before hackman can even ask her how she could be seventeen for three years  shes swimming through the water  her skirt billowing up around her hips  showing off her cellulite  or do you call it shellulite   ridden thighs  its not so much funny as innately disgusting  which pretty much sums up the poseidon adventure as a whole  
neg	while watching loser  it occurred to me that amy heckerlings true genius as a filmmaker is casting  in fast times at ridgemont high  she gave us sean penns jeff spicoli  in look whos talking  she turned bruce willis into a wisecracking baby and provided john travolta with is first career revival  in clueless  she found a star vehicle for the adorableness that is  or was  alicia silverstone  she seems to understand instinctively how to find performers the audience will like in spite of their flaws  unfortunately  she may also be starting to understand that she understands  giving appealing actors an appealing script creates likeable movies  giving appealing actors a script in which their appeal is the movie makes for unexpectedly awful films like loser  naturally  heckerling makes her protagonist an allaround swell guy  paul tannek  jason biggs  is a smalltown boy who gets a scholarship to nyu  then instantly finds himself an island of compassion and diligence in the coldhearted big city  paul is the kind of guy who gives up his seat on the subway to an elderly woman  his roommates adam  zak orth   chris  tom sadoski  and noah  jimmi simpson  are the kind of guys who blast their music and let their waterbeds leak all over paul  paul is also the kind of guy who adores girls from afar  in this case the lovely dora diamond  mena suvari   dora has problems of her own  including a shortage of funds to pay her tuition and a relationship with a professor  edward alcott  greg kinnear   thats more than slightly onesided  theyre two conscientious kids who love animals and homeless people  so clearly they belong together  even if paul is a loser  i must confess that  for a while  i was suckered in by heckerlings casting  jason biggs is an engaging performer whose unconventional looks make him even easier to embrace  suvari is a coquette with an undercurrent of intelligence  theyre pleasant enough to watch  and heckerling gives us plenty of scenes establishing how nice they are and how nice their respective antagonists arent  then it gradually becomes clear that theres virtually nothing to loser but scenes of that sort  in theory  loser is a romantic comedy  but there is scarcely a laugh to be found in the entire film  notable exception  a cameo by a scenestealing comic actor as a video store clerk   instead of taking any time to make the characters situations funny  heckerling spends 98 minutes making her characters situations pathetic  she shows none of the ear for quirky dialogue that sparked clueless  nor any of that films interest in lively plotting  not surprisingly  since cluelesss plot came via jane austens emma   she simply turns the film into a pity party  since loser is a film composed almost entirely of establishing character  you might think that those characters would be interesting  or at least slightly complicated  instead  you have people either so perfect or so unredeemable that theres no reason to watch them  paul isnt just a nice guy  hes flawless  consequently  hes a central character who does absolutely no growing  his roommates arent just inconsiderate  theyre actively evilblackmailing professor alcott  drugging women with rohypnol and generally giving humanity a bad name  and professor alcott isnt just manipulative  he turns dora into his house slave  doras unthinking devotion to alcott is the only whiff of basic human frailty to be found in loser  and even that isnt explored in sufficient detail  theres more ambiguity in the 30second snippet from alan cummings broadway performance as the emcee in cabaret then there is in the rest of loser its one thing to turn supporting characters into comic exaggerations  its another to flatten your leads into easily digestible mush  and it would help if those comic exaggerations were somehow    i dont know    comic  still  i spent much of the film holding out the ridiculous hope that heckerling would somehow salvage loser from its tedium and justify my desire to like paul and dora  that hope dissolved the moment heckerling underscored a sequence of paul in the throes of unrequited love to simon and garfunkels  scarborough faircanticle   instead of giving the sequence a knowing winka reference to the graduate  a hint that paul is becoming an overlysensitive clichheckerling plays it deadly straight  even in the scenes that scream for a light comic touch and a bit of a poke at her protagonists foibles  she finds it impossible to stray from the gospel of paul as saint  cluelesss cher had her selfabsorption and manipulative tendencies to balance her cuteness  in loser  amy heckerling shows a leaden hand with material that demands friskiness  her one show of wit involves naming pauls dorm  hunts hall  after erstwhile bowery boy huntz hall   her gift with casting proved to be her curse  loser may be a crashing bore  but gee  arent those two kids swell  
neg	capsule  john the baptist is sent from heaven to see is the world is worth saving  he must find some sign of hope in the people of newfoundland  this is little more than a tv skit in movie form  it is watchable and apparently will be released to theaters in canada  but it is unlikely to be seen on the international market  it is diverting but hardly a serious piece of cinema   0  4 to 4  minor spoilers in this review   written and directed by john w  doyle   john the baptist sent to st  john  newfoundland  gets an invitation to live with a family  that extraordinary hospitality for some reason does not count as a reason for hope   script has a lot of holes   friend who adopts john is surprisingly militant and is planning actions to destabilize wall street   john does look middle eastern  but somehow one expects john the baptist to be more dramatic   there is a conspiracy in the vatican riding on the result of the visit  though that result seems small compared to the end of the world   big yucks like seeing a nun give the pope a pedicure and evil popes aid praying to a mendes goat   in large part a satire of life in newfoundland taking licks at things like the poor produce  the one good tomato in grocery  by virtue of a miracle   must have fallen off the truck to toronto    based on a 20minute short film  
neg	the  disney sticktowhatyoudobest  rule states that disneys animated features will invariably be sublime but whenever they try their hand at liveaction kids entertainment  they will fail miserably  this goes double for occasions when they try to make a liveaction adaptation of a popular cartoon  remember the 1996 version of 101 dalmations  im still trying to forget   that rule proves more dependable than ever with inspector gadget  an insulting  despicable and  worst of all  expensive piece of trash trying to pass itself off as a viable childrens film  it will bore anyone over five and should prove unbearable for adults  even at its relatively skinny running time of 80 minutes  its films like this that make me want to go to my local blockbuster and rent something from the days when brains were more important than budgets and wit compensated for lack of fancy effects  just as matthew broderick began to convince me that there is hope for him as an actor yet  his career takes a nosedive to hell with his  role  as john brown  a depressed security guard with a big heart who hopes that one day he can become a real policemen and help the people around him  he dreams of heroic deeds and the subsequent admiration of his long time crush  dr  brenda bradford  joely fisher   but after a few bizarre coincidences it seems that he has to dream no longer  john breaks every bone in his body while trying to save dr  brendas father  dr  brenda has been working on a  gadget project   which would make a halfman halfmachine superpoliceman to fight crime  feeling indebted to john she decides to save his life by making him the subject  realizing his dream of becoming a policeman  now  when he says  go go gadget insert name of gizmo here  he can use all kinds of nifty gadgets to capture crooks  bang up bandits and mangle murderers  in the meantime  the evil claw  rupert everett   the man responsible for the murder of the good doctors father is building a gadget of his own  a carbon copy of our inspector gadget except evil and john browns worst nemesis  claw has plans of world domination  which leaves it up to the inspector and his gadget mobile  voice of d  l  hughley  to save humanity from his wrath  state of the art effects fly at a mad pace in this 90 million dollar movie and yet director david kelogg never sets up a convincing atmosphere  had they replaced all the fancy gizmos with dollar bills they would have wound up with the same effect  what we see on the screen is like the raw ingredients of a meal  all of the expensive fx amounts to nothing  part of the charm of the tv series was its sly irreverence which has gone down the toilet in the condescending movie  can kids really admire a hero so goodytwoshoes that he screams  hey  you ran a stop sign   while hanging off the back bumper of a quickly moving vehicle  i think that todays children will respond better to somebody dashing  someone ultracool  they  probably  receive enough preaching from their parents and its an insult to their intelligence to assume that they want to go to an action movie to see a father figure kick butt  in addition to the more complex complaints above  theres also the simple stuff  inspector gadget is boring  formulaic and achingly implausible  theres no feeling that the director really cares about his story  more than any other film ive seen this year  this one really feels like it was made on an assembly line  theres a popular commercial  for sprite  but thats irrelevant  running in movie theaters before features that spoofs the way major studios deal with projects  it consists of studio suits discussing a fictitious  thank god  movie called  death slug   each executive gleefully presents a different merchandise tiein  slug taco  slug on a stick    at the end one of them asks  what about the movie   another answers   well  we dont have a script yet  but we can bang one out by friday   they probably could have replaced  death slug  with inspector gadget  this film contains the sort of logical contradictions and blatantly obvious adherence to formula that could have been eliminated had any attention been payed to the script  its no coincidence that most good childrens entertainment these days comes from animation  animated features take so long to maker that it becomes a labor of love for the filmmakers and they put care and pride into their work  these kinds of films are banged out quicker and a good percentage turn out worthless  sloppy and impersonal  the studios are becoming factories and films their assembled products   1999 eugene novikov137  
neg	as the twin surfer dudes  stew and phil deedle  lay bandaged and unconscious in the hospital  phil comes to first and chooses the coolest way to wake his brother  yanking out his iv  he uses it like a water pistol to soak his brothers face  this bit of lame physical humor is typical of disneys meet the deedles  a movie more to be endured that watched   i stopped looking at my wife during the screening  since every time i did  shed start sticking her finger in her throat  and shes right  it is that bad   directed without any imagination by steve boyum  whose long background in film is mainly in stunts and in second unit direction  the film limps along at best  boyum attempts to keep the pace moving by staging stunts  stunts and more stunts  amazingly for someone with his background  he seems incapable of finding any fresh ones  and we have a car go off the road five different times  maybe more  but whos counting  and then there is the script by james herzfeld  whose only other film  tapeheads from a decade ago  was so awful that it is considered a cult classic  meet the deedles  however  is painfully bad rather than laughably bad  it will probably be in and out of the theaters like a tornado and is in no danger of becoming a classic anything  herzfeld treats us to gratingly abysmal dialog that includes  your geysers a geezer   and  id like to put a deedle in her haystack   as the movie opens  the twins  who at one point describe themselves modestly as  a walking kodak moment   are celebrating their 18th birthday  as they ride a parasail high above the waters of waikiki  a truant officer pursues them on his jet ski  as heirs to the fabulous fortune of the deedle empire  the boys are sent by their father to camp broken spirit at yellowstone to transform the two laidback beach bums into men  as they arrive in their wetsuits in yellowstone  theyve got their surfboards  skateboards  and a hawaiian drink machine the size of an armoire  their camp has gone out of business  but they are mistaken for new park rangers  the rest of the movie has them fighting the parks overpopulation of prairie dogs as well as a deranged exranger  played by dennis hopper  who is out to stop old faithful before its billionth birthday celebration  scheduled for later in the week  hopper  who has made some wonderful movies  carried away being a recent favorite  does have a propensity for choosing some truly odoriferous material  this isnt his worst acting  but meet the deedles is arguably the worst movie hes ever been in  steve van wormer and paul walker  as stew and phil  give lifeless performances  the only actor in the movie with any demonstrable talent is a cute little prairie dog named petey  even the cinematography by david hennings is so prosaic that it manages to make yellowstone look dull  to add insult to injury  hennings is fond of inappropriate closeups  which only serve to remind us of the inanity of the dialog  put a tenfoot pair of lips on the screen  and you naturally pay extra attention to what is said  although boyum says in the notes that he is proud that his film is appropriate for families  one wonders how many skateboarders will attempt the movies stunt of lying on your back on a skateboard while negotiating a busy and twisting mountain road  they make it look like so much fun that im sure many will try some variation of the stunt   how could this possibly be worst   asks phil  just when you suspect it cant  the movie takes a turn further downhill  its low point may have you looking for an airline barf bag  after phils girlfriend digs up a big mount of moist soil  they suck in a long worm  like the two dog lovers eating spaghetti in lady and the tramp  their lips finally meet in a kiss  as they pull back  their faces are full of the dirt that encased the worm they have just ingested  meet the deedles runs about an hour and a half  it is rated pg for a little bathroom humor and would be acceptable for kids around 6 and up  my son jeffrey and his friend nickolas  both almost 9  gave the show     they both thought the scenes with petey were among their favorites  nickolas also mentioned the scene in which the circus bear drives a jeep  and jeffrey especially liked the one in which the circus elephant was referred to as dumbo  
neg	bicentennial man is a family film without any external motive with the exception of providing the minimum dose of entertainment  chris columbus  the director who gave you  mrs  doubtfire   plays on sentimental strings and mushy dialogue to make his point  based on the short story by isaac asimov  it is supposed to be a science fiction story about a robot who wants to be human  which as you can imagine is very difficult  starting in a not too distant future the film concentrates on a wealthy family that buys an android to help them with the house and children  soon this robot  called andrew  robin williams  shows abilities that makes his owner mr  martin  sam neill  very curious  andrew is interested in art and music  he  enjoys  making clocks  which clearly shows that he has genuine emotions  it shows out that because of a small failure in the  electrical circuits  and  positronic brain  andrew has accidentally gained a soul  this makes him unique and his evil creators worried  then mr  martin decides to teach andrew all the things he wasnt programmed to do  soon andrew wants to leave the house in pursuit of freedom  destiny and love  this film can be described as a disney version of blade runner  a film that still shines as the biggest gem in the crown of science fiction  ever since that film  the subject of humanity still stands as one big controversy  what makes us human  the thoughts  the emotions  is it possible to become human  at what point can we say to a robot  now you are one of us   these are very tough questions that require a serious and thurral approach  it is obvious that columbus didnt take them very seriously  when you think about it  this film is not really meditating on the question  when is a robot no longer a machine  but a human being    but tells a story about racial discrimination and lack of understanding  andrew is so complex and emotional from the very beginning that the audience immediately accepts him as a human being  and only the society has troubles with it  in other words  it is as far from reality as from the academy awards  further more  there are other annoying problems  to this day no serious filmmaker has dared to speculate about the future in more than 50 years from now  this has not been done for obvious reasons  because the filmmakers are well aware of the fact that they lack the knowledge and imagination to perform such a difficult task  columbus is the first to have crossed that line  the result is  as you might imagine  primitive  unrealistic and incredibly disappointing effort  the world is simply frozen in time  neither the society  fashion  culture or values have changed over 200 years  mom is still working at the kitchen  doing the dishes  when you think back to the late 17th century and then compare it to the world we live in today  youll see a slightly bigger difference  i am not saying that everything should change  it is unlikely that the human rights will change  but its even more unlikely that there will not be any progress in science  technology and fashion  i suppose its possible to watch this as a some sort of bizarre fairytale  but its really hard  robin williams is hidden behind c and speaking in a robotic way  as always he does a decent job  as does sam neill  but it doesnt really matter  it is the sentimentality and length that turns this picture into a tiresome experience  pretty much like last years  meet joe black   this is a primitive and unresolved story which is presented with a splendor and professionalism that it doesnt deserve  great actors and a talented crew have worked hard to achieve something that will be instantly forgotten  when isaac asimov wrote this story  the future seemed far away and magical  everything seemed possible  now is the future of asimovs time  and we know that it is not as magical and perfect as it seemed a long time ago  for the same reasons that the young generation of today can not be amazed by julius vernes  20 000 leagues under the sea   so cant we accept this story as a potential reality  let us hope that next years  a  i   will be more rewarding  
neg	in the continuation of warner brothers franchise  joel schumacher has successfully killed this cash cow  what makes this film such a grand disappointment is the tremendous line up of talented people involved with the film  avika goldsmans screenplay is such a cluttered mess that there is no suspense built from one scene to another  this coming on the heals of such a marvelously written project as  the client  is such a shock that it gives rise to thoughts that the latter film was a fluke  situations are developed and executed with no thought of reason other that to get the characters from one point to another  this is most glaringly brought to point by the appearance of alicia silverstones batgirl  who just happens to be alfreds niece  the story of dr  victor freeze is told almost completely in dialogue as an afterthought  while working on a cure for a tragic decease contracted by his wife  dr  freeze is injured during a cryogenic procedure  and becomes a man who can only survive in a sub zero environment  now of course he has become a terrorist intent on turning the world into a frozen planet where only he can live  now the logic of that little subplot escapes me  if mr  freeze wanted to find a cure for his wife and bring her back from the brink of death  why would he want to have her live in a world with no warmth  this is indeed a cold hearted man  the development of poison ivy is no less contradictory  she wants to breed a form of plant life that can defend itself like an animal  she joins with mr  freeze in his plan to start a new ice age  destroying all animal life  therefore giving her plant creations no reason to have the defense mechanism she had been trying to breed into them  the characters have no logic  batman of course is no longer the dark knight of the earlier films  now that he has an adoptive son in burt ward  robin  bruce wayne is trying to be a father figure  constantly spouting out homilies about family and relationships  while at the same time not really having any  george clooney tries in vain to keep from rolling his eyes while reciting the dialogue given him  to say that his performance is workmanlike is to be generous  his best performances are still on  e  r    bruce wayne has the most unromantic evening with his girlfriend  played by elle macpherson   that it brings into question bruces latent homosexuality  there is no spark and no passion  as there was for nicole kidmans psychologist in  batman forever   between bruce and anyone other than alfred  and even that relationship is very reserved  robin comes off less charismatic that in the last film in the series  now hes just a spoiled kid  in  batman forever   burt ward wanted to be batmans partner and friend  now  robin is suffering from ego deficiency  robins attraction for poison ivy is not believable  except for a boy around the age of 15  his later flirtation with batgirl smacks of incest  even though they are not related in a traditional sense  chris odonnell  once considered a rising star  successfully burns up on reentry with this performance  his robin needs nothing more than a good spanking  the less said about alicia silverstones performance the better  this talented young actress reads her lines with all the aplomb of a dubbing actor for a godzilla film  she was cast strictly for her commercial value and she knew it  this brings us to the villains  arnold scharzenegger walks through his part with all the concern of someone waiting for payday  the most rediculous scene is during mr  freezes imprisonment  the guards are at least a foot taller that arnold and yet fall at his hand in one of the most unbelievable fights scenes caught on film  its almost as ludicrous as seeing michael jackson as a gang member  umu thurman struts and coos her way through her part  showing a growing discomfort with her sex symbol status  her poison ivy has all the come hither sex appeal of may west in  sextette   1978   the only performances worthy of notice are pat hingle and michael gough  these two seasoned veterans carry their scenes with a dignity sorely lacking from the rest of the film  without going through the intricacies of the plot  there is one question that always comes to mind with this series  except for the first  batman    and that is how do these super villains manage to hire so many thugs only to abandon them at the final reel  mr  freeze is introduced with a team of hockey playing hoodlums that seem to have stepped out of an old kiss music video  every villain  even the minor ones  have to have a look  no one can be an individual with day glow paint on their face or some sort of elaborate costume  with this film  warner brothers has succeeded in retrograding the series back to its tv incarnation  the only thing missing from the action scenes are the superimposed titles detailing the pows   gwaaaas  and clangs associated with the old series  you almost wonder if william dozier  producer of the tv series is collecting royalties from this film  the special effects  by john dykstra  and production design  by barbara ling  are the primary stars of this film  and it is a case of extravagance in the pursuit of nothing  every set  from ivys lair  the batcave  to freezes hideout is set with enough neon and fiberglass to keep the epa in paperwork for years to come  there is no one realistic set or set piece in the film  everything is set for maximum exposure  the special effects have that strange cartoon look that most rushed cgi effects have  there are homage thrown in by dykstra and his team to gene warren and his work on  the time machine   the growing plant scene  but these scenes are so wroth with glaring color and art that they are almost obscured  joel schumacher has directed the film with no flair  camera angles are poorly chosen rehashing set ups from the old tv series  master shots pepper the action scenes  destroying any flow of kinetic quality they may have had  mr  schumacher is a good director  one just has to look back on the films  the lost boys    cousins   an underrated film  and  the client  to know that  but  batman and robin  comes off as a mated made for tv movie  the film has no style of individuality  it is the cinematic equivalent to jello  pretty to look at  but empty  it is unfortunate that this film  even with its surprisingly strong box office has succeeded in doing what warners thought tim burton would do with the franchise  kill it  joel schumachers  batman  robin  is loud  colorful  action packed  and ultimately   boring  stars  
neg	long ago  films were constructed of strong dialogue  original characters  memorable plot points  and solid acting  one of the best examples that hollywood now completely ignore these qualities is found in the new film where the heart is  this opus about the power of love and the redemption of family follows the tragic  and i mean tragic  life of novalee nation  natalie portman   hitting the road with her hick  guitarplaying boyfriend in a rustedout gm  novalee dreams of the blue skies of bakersfield and sipping chocolate milk beneath a plastic umbrella with her unborn baby  due in a month  stopping off at a nearby walmart for a quick rest  novalees boyfriend decides to take off and leaves her there  novalee then decides to secretly hole up in the walmart  because shes not the brightest bulb in the stagelights   a wacky librarian  keith david  comes to her rescue when she goes into labor one night while she is camped in the outdoors section of the store  then the she moves in with a family  befriends everyone in town  including ashley judds character  who has five kids and still can work parttime as a nurse   fights off religious freaks  survives a tornado  breaks the heart of the wacky librarian that saved her  receives an inheritance  builds a martha stewartesque house  becomes an awardwinning photographer  and manages to always look like she stepped out of a cosmo shoot  all while not once doing anything with her kid  this film is terrible  the directing is awful  it seems director matt williams had an index card with six angles written on it and used every one of them  over and over and over again  we get pathetic and ugly acting by natalie portman  who can do good work  a disjointed pacing of key scenes and a time structure so confusing that it would throw steve prefontaine off  a subplot that actually validates the actions of the boyfriend who abandoned novalee in the walmart parking lot  an embarrassing display of emotions by the characters  making the audience ill  taking two great comedic screenwriters  babaloo mandel and lowell ganz  and forcing them to write drama on par with oprahs book club  altogether  it has the feeling of being trapped at home  watching a very bad television miniseries and wishing it to end  only the remote is broken  however  the main problem with the film is that it never answers the most poignant question brought up  where is the heart  no one ever seems to find it in this piece of junk  
neg	stars  armand assante  mike hammer   barbara carrera  dr  charlotte bennett   laurene landon  velda   alan king  charles kalecki   geoffrey lewis  joe butler   paul sorvino  detective pat chambers   judson scott  charles hendricks   barry snider  romero   julia barr  norma childs   mpaa rating  r  review  in the 1982 updating of mickey spillanes 1947 novel  i  the jury   hardboiled detective mike hammer is a vietnam vet who drives a shiny bronze trans am  dresses like don johnson in  miami vice  with less pastels  and has sworn off alcohol  however  he still smokes his lucky strikes  detests all forms of authority  and kills at a whim  beyond that  the updated film retains little or no resemblance to the original pulpy pageturner by spillane  probably the most infamous and often reviled of all mystery writers  the movie starts off with a bang  a howler of an opening credits sequence that is a cheap steal from the james bond series  complete with cheesy graphics and an overbearing jazz score by bill conti   rocky    after that  the movie and the book begin the same  with the murder of jack williams  frederick downs   a onearmed detective and hammers best friend  hammer declares that he will seek vengeance for jacks death  and with the help of his devoted secretary  the blond and shapely velda  laurene landon   and the alternately friendly  antagonistic police chief pat chambers  paul sorvino   he is immediately on the killers trail  here the movie splits completely from the book  and dives into a convoluted and improbable tale of government conspiracy and mind control tactics involving the mafia  the cia  one of hammers vietnam vet buddies  and a kinky sex clinic  many of the same characters from the book appear in the movie  but they take on slightly different roles  for instance  charles kalecki  alan king   a numbers runner and narcotics dealer in the book  turns into a suave mob boss  and  more importantly  hammers suspicious love interest  charlotte bennett  barbara carrera   morphs from a runofthemill psychiatrist into the coordinator and founder of the sex clinic   i  the jury  is one of several cinematic renditions of spillanes books  including a 1953 version which was made in 3d   but this film differs from those earlier versions in one major way  it includes all of the sex and violence spillane wrote about that could never be given screen treatment due to hollywoods production code  although this takes the 1982 version of  i  the jury  closer to the core of the original subject matter  it is in this aspect that the film received the most criticism  because it took this new license to extremes that many argued surpassed what was in the book  rest assured  the movie not only includes a great deal of nudity  but it is thoroughly violent  especially toward women  it features one woman having her neck slashed  a set of twins forced to strip before being stabbed to death by a psychotic sexual deviant programmed by the cia  judson scott   and another woman shot pointblank in the belly by hammer himself  no one would deny that spillanes writing has a definite misogynistic nature  but the movie seems to take it a step further by giving it such glorious screen treatment  its constant equation of sex and violence  much of which is played with the intention of being erotic  is quite unsettling  its no surprise that the movie  like the book  fades to black with a dead woman on the floor   i  the jury  had a troubled production and was not wellsupported by the studio that made it  which is one explanation why it didnt do well in theaters and many people have forgotten that it was ever made  the script was written by larry cohen  who is best known for his creatively cheesy but nonetheless effective monster movies  like  its alive   1974  and its two sequels   q   1981   and  the stuff   1985   cohen wrote the script thinking he was going to helm the project as well  but he was yanked from the directors chair after only a weeks worth of shooting because he was already 100  000 over budget  he was quickly replaced by richard t  heffron  who has worked for the last three decades on a handful of undistinguished movies and dozens of television projects  heffron was obviously brought in not for his talent  but because he could make the movie rapidly and efficiently  it shows in the final product  cohen had personal interest in the updated version of hammer  but heffron has none  he shot the movie quickly and clumsily  and although some scenes ring true  most of them are flat  trite  and invariably dull  the movie features numerous car chases  shootouts  and stunts  but heffrons background in television is the dominant tone  despite the graphic violence and fullfrontal nudity   i  the jury   takes on the air of a madefortv quickie  with no real punch or depth  but the problems in  i  the jury  run deeper than the technical  the central fault in this updating is mike hammer  whose character was lost in the shuffle while updating from the fifties to the eighties  because spillane wrote all his hammer mysteries in the first person  hammers character is central to the tale because all the events are filtered through his persona  we never really get that impression in the movie  there is no firstperson voiceover narration and some scenes dont have hammer in them at all  consequently  a great deal of the texture of spillanes storytelling is lost  the period updating turns out to be a detrimentally bad idea because much of hammers moral code is thrown to the wind  despite his characterization as a hardnosed  violent  misogynistic killer  hammer always stuck fervently to his own moral code  the title itself   i  the jury   refers to his antiestablishment notion of being his own law  unlike private eyes who seek out the bad guys and then turn them over the police  hammer both pursues the criminal and exacts the punishment  in this way  he can be seen as  above the law   but he still adheres strictly to her own personal code of conduct  his own morality  the movie forgoes that aspect of his character  and hammer comes off not only as amoral in societys terms  but in any terms  especially his own  if anything  hammer always had his professionalism  but the movie does away with that in the first three minutes by showing him rolling in the sack with the wife of a client who had paid him to find out if that wife was being unfaithful  maybe the scene was intended for laughs  but it only cheapens hammers character and is  by all accounts  a lousy way to start the movie  the blame for hammers character cant be laid on assantes shoulders  because despite some unnecessary marlon brandonlike mumbling  he delivers a fine performance  spillane never once described hammers physical attributes in any of the dozen books in which he appeared  so any actor could conceivably portray him  of course  because of the lack of written description  those who have read spillanes books will have a strong personal notion of what hammer looks like  and therefore almost any screen incarnation will somehow fall short of expectations  spillane  who played the character himself in 1963s  the girl hunters   is generally considered the best of the film hammers   the rest of actors are most unnoteworthy  with the exceptions of alan king and paul sorvino  everyone who appeared in  i  the jury  were upandcomers who basically went nowhere  many of them ended up working in television  like carrera  who had a short stint on  dallas  in the mideighties   which only adds to the madefortv atmosphere of the film  maybe someday  someone will manage to get the right elements together and make an effective film rendition of a spillane book  but this is certainly not it  
neg	nostalgia for the 70s continues  as we see a revival of one of the decades greatest achievements  the marijuana comedy  however half baked doesnt quite run with all its brain cells  and will make you appreciate the questionable talents of cheech and chong all the more  the plot follows the misadventures of four neerdowell stoners  theres the groups unofficial leader  thurgood  david chappelle   scarface  guillermo diaz   brian  jim breuer   and kenny  harland williams   kenny gets into trouble  when  while on a munchie run  feeds his snack foods to a diabetic police horse  when the animal keels over  he finds himself accused of killing a police officer  and facing a 1  000  000 bail  his friends promise to raise money for a 10 bail bond  but have no idea how  that is  until thurgood stumbles upon a stash of pharmaceutical marijuana being tested at the company where he works as a janitor  soon the three guys are dealing dope to raise funds  while avoiding the cops and rival dealer sampson simpson  clarence williams iii   for a comedy  the film is pretty humorless  not that it doesnt try    its just that the comic setups are obvious and the payoffs nearly all fall flat  the four leads are nearly all playing the same character  only williams stands out  while still performing on the level of his humorfree comedy rocket man   but that is because hes imprisoned throughout most of the film  giving a much needed change of pace  but mostly swapping one set of obvious gags for another   to help out  the film is packed full of cameos  steven wright  tommy chong  janeane garofalo  willie nelson  snoop doggy dogg  and jon stewart all make appearances at one point or another  none of them work  beyond the simple  hey  thats   level  in fact the funniest work in the film comes from chappelle  not as his bland pothead lead  but in his second role  as a potobsessed rapper  sir smokealot  granted  its pretty much a onejoke role  and there arent a ton of laughs    but this film needs every one it can scrape up  to top it off  and in a move contrasting with the tone of the rest of the film  thurgood is given a love interest  mary jane  rachel true   her role is that of the public service announcement  to inform us why doing drugs  including pot  is wrong  her character seems fabricated merely as a defense to the  your film promotes the use of drugs  camp  the film would have been better off by sticking with the  rebel  tone it so eagerly tries to claim  yet  in the end  it doesnt really matter  watching the film clean and sober  you are bound to recognize how truly awful it is  
neg	i saw this film on christmas day expecting an upbeat comedy  boy was i in for a christmas dissapointment  after an hour of the movie  i was ready to change roomsinto another theater  read on to see what i have to say     four rooms  starring  tim roth  jennifer beals  antonio banderas  quentin tarantino  valeria golino  madonna  bruce willis  marisa tomei  alicia witt  lili taylor  and ione skye  possible stars   four rooms  was supposed to be one of the biggest hits of the year  key word here   supposed   four of the biggest directors in hollywood  quentin tarantino  robert rodriguez  alexander rockwell  and alison anders were all directing one big film with a big and popular cast  i guess it was all just too much because this turned out to be the biggest flop of the year and it could of been great  the plot  its new years eve and its a bellboys first day on the job  he encounters many mysterious and kinky hotel guests as he tries to handle all his own problems  tarantino told his directors this plot  and each of them wrote a script  it turned out each of them had written a dark comedy  anders wrote and directed the tale about a coven of witches  madonna  valeria golino  alicia witt  and ione skye   which was the worst one out of all of them  the second room  jennifer beals  was better  but lacking in plot  this room was about a man who accuses every man of sleeping with his wife  the third room  antonio banderas  was the best roomm  about two rambunctous kids that trash a hotel suite  the final one  tarantino  willis  was about a movie star wanting the bellboy to chop off someones finger  the movie was just plain trash  there was nothing here that even makes up a quality film  it was not funny  and i didnt hear one laugh in the theater throughout the whole film  tim roth is horrible as the bumbling and mumbling bellboy  and he ruins every joke in the film  the supporting cast loses meaning to the word support and the only mentionable actorsactresses are antonio banderas and jennifer beals  marisa tomei appears in a stupid cameo role  this movie is the worst film of the year and the film could have been great  perhaps like a more upbeat  plaza suite   but it wasnt  as trashy as it was  some people will call it classic  do you call a man chopping off a finger with madonnas chest showing a classic film  look for more of kens kritic korner coming soon  please check the newsgroups under the movie reviews section for updated reviews  p  s   four rooms  made number 1 on my top ten worst list of 1995  
neg	anna and the king is at least the fourth film adaptation of margaret landons fact based novel the king and i  and its big  expensive and soulless  though goodlooking  its lavish sets  fancy costumes and luscious cinematography can do little to compensate for the emotional wasteland that is peter krikes and steve meersons script  so much money was spent on pretty pictures that they forgot to actually make the movie interesting  this is jodie fosters first movie since the jawdroppingly brilliant contact came out more than two years ago and it isnt the best choice to show off her acting chops  shes trapped in the stoic role of anna leonowens  the uptight  widowed british schoolteacher who comes to siam  now thailand  with her son to instruct the kings  chow yunfat  son in the ways of the west  because  the ways of england are the ways of the world   the king likes her so much he puts her in charge of educating the whole royal family  58 kids with 10 more in the way  impressive  no    the eldest prince is none too happy about this   father  have i offended you in some way  why do you punish me with imperialist schoolteacher    but soon gets to know anna and her stern motherwholovesyou personality better and comes to like her  meanwhile  siam comes under attack from the neighboring british colony of burma  the king and his close advisors suspect that this is britains doing which arouses suspicion in siam  putting anna in an uncomfortable position  she is not sure what to make of this and seems to herself suspect british involvement in the crisis but works to diffuse the kings prejudices  he  though selfrighteous as ever  cant help but be influenced by the eloquent anna and they slowly  quietly  develop affections for each other  there is a scene in the middle of anna and the king where one of the kings younger daughters dies  its your classic deathbed scene  with the girls mournful eyes staring at her father  who tries only semi successfully to maintain his composure  anna then comes in and cries a bit  the sequence was there for a purpose  to evoke a strong emotional response from the viewer  im usually a sucker for such scenes and yet this time  i was just sitting there  my emotions untouched  this remains true through all of the movie which remains emotionally barren  we never develop connections to the characters  never given a reason to care  this ludicrously long epic was directed by andy tennant  whose last film was ever after  one of my favorites of 1998  i do not doubt tennants ability to put together a decent movie  but anna and the king  aside from being psychologically inept is also technologically deficient  the sets and scenery are gorgeous  but the camerawork does nothing to convey its grandeur  even terrence malick managed to do more with flora and fauna in his otherwise abysmal the thin red line than tennant can muster from 75 million worth of props and a shoot in malaysia  we feel like the camera is restricted to its immediate point of view  there are no wide tracking shots or sweeping zooms to fill us with largerthanlife awe  i liked both foster and yunfat  who give entertaining if not terribly involving performances in the two lead roles  fosters generally stoic persona serves her well here  as she is playing a reserved  formal and rather underdeveloped character  yunfat is especially effective  perfectly conveying the king of siams sangfroid permeated with violent outbursts  what does anna and the king in is its inability to involve the viewer in its characters and situations  the cast is great  the director is talented  and the budget is lavish  but this illadvised remake of the classic rogers and hammerstein movie is unable to utilize any of those things to form a compelling whole  this is an emotionless costume epic  
neg	robin hood  men in tights is another melbrooksproduced film in the classic tradition of movies like blazing saddles and young frankenstein  mel brooks is well known for his comic look at regular life  his fast paced dialogue and sharp wit  unfortunately  robin hood  men in tights has none of the easy going humor of blazing saddles  none of the fun acting of young frankenstein  is devoid of the charm of spaceballs  and is even lacking the good  solid dialogue of history of the world  it is  in short  one of the worst movies i have seen mel brooks  or anybody else  produce  the plot borrows heavily from the wellreceived kevin costner movie of last year  robin hood  prince of thieves  this is not surprising in and of itself  and could have been used to great comic effect  mainly by parodying scenes from the orginal movie  mel brooks does not take advantage of this  however  and uses the film to launch several ideas into the air  none of which connect and none of which are explained later on  the movies scenes could be shuffled around in any order and one would be hard pressed to notice  cary elwes  of princess bride fame  plays robin of loxley  a man who was captured in the crusades  fighting with king richard  he escapes and  joining with a man named achoo  i am sure you can see the obvious joke   fights in england to reclaim his name and the throne for richard  which has been captured by evil prince john  played by funny comic richard lewis  he also tries for the love of maid marian and attempts to overthrow the evil  sheriff of rottingham   a good adventure plot that is sadly unused  elwes and lewis are both excellent comics  but the dialogue in the movie is simply excruciating  neither actor has any good words to work with  and the lines simply arent funny  nor believable  perhaps the worst example of this is when the group of merry men encounter a man playing a macaulay culkin clone from the hit movie home alone  this particular scene is so out of place and so badly acted  and followed by so many other scenes of equal miserable ideas  that i really felt like leaving the theatre  much of the audience continued to look at their watches throughout  and some left the theatre  chuckles were few and far between  and they mostly dealt with visual jokes  such as an old  beaten up horse from  rentawreck   then from any dialogue whatsoever  scenes that could have been classics  such as the archery contest  are ruined by poor acting  perhaps the largest problem with the movie is that it is simply offensive  the basic plot  that robin has received a key that will unlock the chastity belt of maid marian  is not witty nor funny  mel brooks as a circumcisiongiving rabbi is also offensive to me and others in the audience  not all jewish  either   the movie simply tries to hard trying to be funny and by and large fails  the addition of a blind man who stumbles around  falling off cliffs  walking into ledges and being a general buffoon could have had some humorous potential  but is also made terribly offensive  the only reason to see this movie is the surprise actor at the end who plays king richard  he is well worth waiting for  if you can stand an hour and half of unfunny dialogue  excruciating visual humor  old puns  ancient jokes and bad acting  if you cant  dont even bother watching this miserable film  
neg	with his successful books and movies  michael crichton is doing well  with early successes with westworld  1973  and coma  1978   and recent films such as jurassic park  1993   his films have been entertaining  however  he seems to taken a wrong turn somewhere with sphere  this 100 million mess by good director barry levison  disclosure  is dull  long winded  and a huge disappointment  considering the huge budget  the all star cast  and a story by crichton  sphere is majorly disappointing  the film opens with norman goodman  hoffman   a psychologist who thinks he is visiting an airplane crash to console the survivors  however  when he arrives  he his told by supervisor barnes  peter coyote  that he is actually investigating an spacecraft  along with goodman is mathematician harry adams  jackson   biologist beth halperin  stone  and ted fielding  liev schrieber   they investigate the spaceship  find a massive sphere inside  meet an alien intelligence called jerry  and basically weird crap happens  unfortunately  something went wrong along the way with sphere  the film starts off entertaining enough  but throughout this very long movie  it just gets sillier and sillier  the film jaunts along from scene to scene  never fully explaining what is going on  the actors and directing dont help  either  hoffman is on autopilot  and almost seems embarrassed  throughout the movie  churning out dull lines  and probably wondering what the hell he is doing in this movie  stone is useless  displaying no emotion  and fails to convince the audience that she has any feelings for hoffman  the only person who seems to be having fun in this movie is jackson  whos funny as the mathematician who slowly goes crazy and entering the sphere  but hes hardly in it  and by the end of the film he is just as dull as hoffman and stone  the same goes for peter coyote  who hams it up as the officer  but is then killed off halfway through  the director  barry levinson  who directed the better crichton adaptation disclosure  1994  messes up with the drama and the action  the drama scenes are  quite frankly  boring  and the action scenes suffer from overkill  with levison throwing the camera all over the place  much like the godawful speed 2  1997  the writing doesnt help much  either  although crichton is great with plots  hes terrible with dialogue  and practically every line in sphere is a dud  the speech is too simple  i was hoping it would be a bit more intelligent  practically every line is just stating the obvious  none of it is smart  also  where the hell did the budget go  the sphere itself is impressive  and theres a few nice special effect shots  but where the 100 million went is anyones guess  theres a giant squid attack in the picture  but not once does the audience see the squid  even though the film has a massive budget  i assume the picture was trying to build up tension by not showing the squid  and if handled correctly it probably would  but the whole scene is done badly  and i was just hoping we could see the stupid squid  finally  the film has no idea what genre to be  levison cant handle his own plot  it leaps from hokey scifi  to horror  and finally the shiningevent horizon psychological thriller  and  of course  the film is very much like the abyss  1988   although in its defense  crichton did write sphere before the abyss was released  and is far superior to this rubbish   its not all that bad though  the plot is all right  theres a few jump scenes  although nothing very scary  and theres the occasionally interesting bit  but overall  sphere is a big waste of some fine talent  a lot of money  and a potentially good movie  not really worth seeing  overall rating review by david wilcock 
neg	director luis mandokis last film was the superb  serious 1994 drama  when a man loves a woman   but his luck has ultimately run out with his latest picture   message in a bottle   which is the worst type of romance  a movie that tugs so relentlessly and violently at the heartstrings that it miraculously manages to dry out your eyes rather than tear them up  everything that occurs can be telegraphed way in advance since this same type of story has been done many times beforeand much betterso theres an absence of suspense  and the film ultimately moves at such a very  very deliberate pace  as if it is trying to make great   meaningful  statements and plot developments  that it just becomes a tedious bore to sit through   message in a bottle  begins with theresa osborne  robin wright penn   a single mother and researcher at the chicago tribune  whom finds a bottle washed up on shore as she is jogging one day  inside the bottle is an anonymous love letter addressed to a mystery woman named catherine  and theresa is so taken aback by its honesty and sweetness that she shows it around at her work and  to her objection  finds that her editor has placed the letter in the newspaper  soon  a heavy research is conducted to find out who wrote the letter based on the type of bottle and a ship logo on the top of the typed message  and after it is traced to a man named garrett blake  theresa finds herself traveling to the outer banks  a boating town in north carolina  to find out the specifics of the message  of course  garrett turns out to be a handsome  rugged man around theresas age and played by kevin costner  she is immediately charmed by him  but hesitant to unveil the truth of why she is there  and finds that catherine was garretts late wife who died a few years earlier  do you think you know where this is headed  most likely you do  and i wouldnt call it giving away anything to say that by the pictures end  the movie has fallen into deep  artificial melodrama that i didnt buy for a second  if there are any positive things to say about  message in a bottle   it is that the performances by robin wright penn and paul newman  as garretts stubborn  but loving father  are far above par to be in such a wasteful   shaggy dog  love story  and that the cinematography by caleb deschanel takes great advantage of the beautiful eastern coast  and paints chicago as an equally alluring city  meanwhile  costner has yet to redeem himself for some of the lessthanstellar films that he has made recently  it seems that with such bad luck  he wouldnt want to make another movie set near water  but here he is again with one of the main  and most ridiculous  centerpieces set on a stormswept sea  the other actors are all  sadly  wasted  including illeana douglas  an underused actress who seems to always get stuck with the  friend  roles  here playing penns confidante and coworker at the tribune  the first half of  message in a bottle  plays like a humdrum  trite television movie for the lifetime channel  as theresa spends a great deal of time  getting to know  garrett  with dialogue that is not the least bit stimulating or entertaining  usually  i am the type of person to practically salivate over dialogueladen sequences since the film is no doubt trying to develop the characters and their relationships  but here it all rang with a resounding falseness since the dialogue felt  written   and not as if people were really  talking   when the main characters of a film have very little of interest to say to each other  and are not particularly interesting themselves  you know immediately that you are in trouble  i swear that while watching  message in a bottle   i felt as if i had just read the screenplay in its entirety before arriving at the theater  heck  in actuality im not even familiar to the novel this is based on  by nicholas sparks   always one step ahead of the characters  the movie ran so closely and tightly to the constraints of the triedandtrue hollywood melodrama  the film strip often seemed to almost be in danger of tearing  nobody wins prizes for guessing that garrett will eventually find out theresas secret  and that several obstacles will come within their ways of living happily ever after  this same exact problem occurred in last years very  very similar  watch this  and you will realize just how similar i mean  meg ryannicolas cage romantic drama   city of angels   although theresa is deeply touched by the  heartfelt  letter that she finds in the bottle  perhaps the filmakers might have been better off finding a message in a bottle of their own  preferably before filming began  it should have read   memo to screenwriters  use you brain   
neg	i remember really enjoying this movie when i saw it years ago  i guess my memory really sucks  there is very  very little that is funny in caddyshack  the laughs are few  and far between  and what there are really arent that great  caddyshack  as the name implies  more or less centers on one young caddy working at an exclusive country club  michael okeefe plays said caddy  why they cast this unknown  fairly untalented actor in the lead role is completely beyond me  the movie doesnt seem to have a real plot  just a series of scenes that are little more than opportunities for the rest of the cast to mug at the camera  the only real story  if you can call it that  was a subplot involving the mentally disturbed greens keeper  bill murray  who is having his own private little war against a gopher who is ruining the course  most of the marginal laughs come from rodney dangerfield and ted knight mugging and overacting for the camera  with painfully limited success  bill murray is slightly amusing in places  but fairly wasted  the biggest waste of all is chevy chase  who didnt even crack a smile on my face with his characters lame zenlike approach to golfing  there are a few decent scenes involving the interaction between dangerfield and knight  but they are far too infrequent to carry the movie  i guess thats what you get for basing a story around an unknown kid  im not sure what the writers of this thing were thinking of  but i really think it was something far removed from comedy as they were putting pen to paper  nothing about this movie works  it wouldnt have taken a genius to figure out that this thing wasnt going to fly  most of the scenes just couldnt possibly be funny  its as if the writers where off in their own little brain damaged world  im sure scenes involving chevy chase and his oneness with the golf ball were supposed to be funny  in reality  they were painfully embarrassing to watch  there is a scene at the club pool where all the caddies go wild for the  hot babe  of the movie walking by in her bikini  olive oil would have filled out this swimsuit better than this girl  everything about this movie was just completely implausible as far as the comedy was concerned  maybe if you were drunk out of you mind or high off some sort of illegal narcotic this thing might be funny  but for the rest of us  stay the hell away from caddyshack  
neg	tommy lee jones chases an innocent victim around america who is trying to prove that she did not kill her spouse  the fugitive  not quite  this is the plot for double jeopardy  another fugitive copycat without the action  excitement  and good acting that the original had  there are other slight differences besides one movie being bad and the other good  this time tommy lee jones plays a parole officer not a us marshall  clever huh  oh and the fugitive ashley judd was framed by her own husband  bruce greenwood  who needed to collect two million dollars in life insurance money not a one armed man  both movies are on video  make the wise choice and pick the fugitive  there are so many flaws in double jeopardy  it is laughable  while serving time in prison  libby parsons  judd  discovers that she can never be charged for committing the same crime twice  learning that her husband is still alive  she decides to serve her time in prison  find him  retrieve her son  and kill her husband if necessary  when the strict parole officer travis lehman  jones  stands in her way  libby decides to break the rules  who knows why   and continue her plan  despite the fact that if she gets caught  shes going back to jail  director bruce beresford spends way too much time trying to convince the audience that libby misses her son  every other scene  we are given a shot of libby staring and crying at his picture  in an action movie like this  valuable time wasted on these shots takes away more opportunities for libby to get up and do something  all that is needed in this type of movie is a short scene in which libby tells herself or a friend  i miss my son   nothing more  nothing less  dr  kimble of the fugitive didnt look at one picture of his dead wife  his primary concern was to save himself  libby at times shows this same determination but not nearly enough  ashley judd and bruce greenwood both are excellent actors but if they continue to do movies like this  they will be typecast for the rest of their careers  kind of like their doomed costar tommy lee jones  winning an oscar for the fugitive must have convinced jones that audiences will never get tired of his idomyjobwhethertheyareinnocentorguilty roles  people still pay to see his movies and he makes plenty of money so i guess he was right  though i dont think he will win another oscar again  the ultimate mistake in the script is what eventually becomes of libby parsons  even if she was excused for disobeying her parole officer  the number of other crimes she commits while on the run are too numerous to count  burglary  assault  grand theft auto are some of libbys slipups  the message of the movie is you can break all of the small laws as long as youre innocent of the major crime  hopefully criminals wont use double jeopardy as a reference in court for why they are innocent  that would just be plain stupid  
neg	while i am not fond of any writers use of cheap  easy puns  i am not completely above using them myself when the situation merits it  witness my review of pecker from a couple of issues ago   so here goes  the juvenile  collegeset black comedy deadmanoncampus is dead on arrival  straitlaced med student josh  tom everett scott  who manages to remain somewhat likable throughout  s blemishfree academic record breaks out into fs  thanks to the influence of his everpartying roommate  cooper  markpaul gosselaar   who introduces josh to the sex and boozefilled nights that come with university life  with the threat of losing an academic scholarship  josh  and a life cleaning toilets for his dad looming  cooper   what are two goodhearted slackers to do  easylook for a loophole  which they find in the form of an unbelievable rule in the school charter that states that if a students  or students  roommate commits suicide  the surviving student  s  shall receive straight as  so instead of studying  josh and cooper attempt to seek out the most depressed student out there  move him into their dorm room  and drive him to suicide before the semester ends  director alan cohn and screenwriters michael traeger and mike white  working from a story by anthony abrams and adam larson broder  take their sweet time to build the head of steam that comes with josh and coopers diabolical plot  until then  the usual boring cliches of college life  booze  sex  more booze  fill the time  which is made to feel longer by savedbythebell alumnus gosselaars sitcombred mugging  that said  once cohn and company do build some comic momentum  they mishandle it  the introduction of the manic  psychotic cliff  lochlyn munro   a potential roommate for josh and cooper  brings some demented life to the uninspired proceedings before being hastily written out in favor of two less interesting candidates  paranoid nerd buckley  randy pearlstein  and british death rocker matt  corey page   one wishes that cliff would reappear  but  as they say  be careful what you wish for  not surprisingly  he does resurface  and it then becomes clear that this is a character that is best taken in a small dose  almost immediately  his extended boorish and sociopathic antics loses its novelty  the same can be said about all of deadmanoncampus  whatever morbid appeal the farfetched premise has quickly evaporates  and the selfabsorbed characters  especially cooper  pretty much grate from the getgo  deadman doesnt grow tiresome  it already is once the clever opening titles are through  as it slogs along to a cheesy  happyforallparties conclusion  deadman lives up to its title and then somenot only does the movie grow even more tired and die  it still insists on going on    like a zombie  
neg	boy  what a great movie   keanu reeves and morgan freeman acting together  the director of the fugitive  andrew davis  back again to give us another thriller  and the beautiful rachel stealing beauty weisz thrown in to boot  how could this not be a blockbuster  all diehard keanu reeves fans  read on  ol  much ado about nothing  plays eddie kasalivich  a machinist studying at the university of chicago  to help pay for the rent  he takes on this job making the machinery for a hydrogen project being conducted by the university  by happy coincidence  he also happens to stumble on the solution to the final problem and thus is the only one who knows the key to performing this feat of miracle physics  this project holds great promise  taking hydrogen from water and giving out more energy than is put in  a potential solution to the earths energy problems without the pollution cost  surely nobody could have any problems with that  morgan freeman is paul shannon  the projects sponsor  he works for a very powerful organization that disagrees with the paternal project leader as to how quickly technology should be released to the public  he figures the world will disintegrate into anarchy if the results of the project are released too quickly  so he murders the project leader  blows up the project  great but short scene here  sort of like a mini id4 citydevastation thing  and tries to simulate the experiment at some other hitech hushhush location  unfortunately  our intrepid machinist and an english physicist  weisz  manage to get away and now follows a fugitivelike chase using a not too dissimilar rehash of that movie script  this movie is just dying for a comparison with  the fugitive   both movies use chicago as the main city and since the place doesnt change much  i guess we cant really blame the setting for the paucity of atmosphere  the trouble here is that where the fugitive had harrison ford and tommy lee jones  chain reaction only has keanu reeves and fred ward  credit to them  but we arent really given much of a chance to empathise with the characters  where ford was able to work within the confines of the movie to evoke sympathy  eddie kasalivich just doesn9t seem very believeable and reeves character is never given the time to develop  it might have been a better investment in film to give the characters more depth and spend less time on the chase sequences  which frankly  get quite boring after a while  harrison ford was  the man against the world   he was alone in a world where he didnt know who to trust and it came across real well  in chain reaction  keanu reeves isnt alone  now that would be fine if the fleeing couple had some chemistry and could really portray some paranoia  vulnerability and confusion  we dont get this  we get him thinking hes still in speed  only now our sandra bullock has an english accent  probably doesnt drive a bus  and hardly contributes anything to the movie  the producers here probably thought   hey  what if keanu and rachel dont hit it off too well  lets rope in that morgan to help us out   well  keanu and rachel didnt hit it off well on the screen  and most unfortunately  morgan freeman doesnt help much either  the only thing we come to really know of paul shannon is that he always has a full load of cigars in his cigar holder  its not really his fault  once again  andrew davis just doesnt take the time to build his characters  someone must have convinced him that this time round  cinema dollars are best earned by making the movie run like a headless chicken  the flying inkpot rating system   wait for the tv2 broadcast    a little creaky  but still better than staying at home with gotcha     pretty good  bring a friend      amazing  potent stuff       perfection  see it twice  
neg	there are those of us who think of leslie nielsen as the bumbling  hapless straight man from the hysterical  naked gun  films  crack an immediate smile and forgive him of whatever wavering movie spoof hes committed himself to starring in since  the wavering movie spoofs  however  are less forgivable  to be fair   wrongfully accused   the sendup in question and nielsens third parody since the last  gun   isnt quite as excruciatingly humorless as his  dracula  dead and loving it  or  spy hard   which is a mighty good thing  nielsen is still in tiptop comedic form  able as ever to deadpan his way through even the most horrible puns  but he really needs a screenplay that plays off his talents instead of relying on them  and he needs one very soon   wrongfully accused  meshes together the premises of  the fugitive  and  patriot games   casting its always game star as ryan harrison  get it    a master violinist who is drawn into an affair with a married temptress  kelly le brock   she  however  sets harrison up to take the rap for the murder of her husband  michael york   a crime actually committed by a onearmed  onelegged  oneeyed man  aaron pearl   harrison is arrested  found guilty and sentenced to death  but escapes from a prison bus  of course  and then is pursued by a determined u  s  marshal named fergus falls  richard crenna  unnecessarily riffing off of tommy lee jones already smirky oscarwinning role   theres also a mystery brunette  melinda mcgraw  and an assassination subplot involving the u  n  secretary general  but like any of it matters   wrongfully accused  gets off to an assured start  with an inconcert nielsen  touted  lord of the violin  by barechested posters  pulling a jimi hendrix on his musical instrument as hundreds of tuxedoclad mosh in front of the stage  nice touch  most of the scenes that follow  however  never top the opener   hysterical exceptions  the mentos and  baywatch  goofs   movie parodies are crammed in at an almostsubliminal rate  but most are empty  when a giant snake lunges onto the screen and snatches a cast member a la  anaconda  or baseball players disappear into a  field of dreams  esque cornfield  theres really nothing to laugh at  other moments  like an interlude in a fishing shop  are so unfocused that youre not sure what youre supposed to be laughing at  there seem to be more cheap references than frenzied sendups here  so its possible that directorwriter pat proft  by bombarding the viewer with a careless mixture of the two  guarantees something is sure to stick  and what does stick sticks well  particularly the jabs at genre conventions like stylized flashbacks and hardboiled dialogue  what those  naked gun  s  which proft collaborated on  did great  these bits are so ontarget that they allow you to remember  wrongfully accused  as an almosthalfwaythere spoof instead of a lamebrained failure  the movie might have been cursed to begin with  opening fast on the heels of  mafia    from proft colleague jim abrahams  and  baseketball   from proft colleague david zucker  but its a strong possibility that nobody is going to be accusing  wrongfully accused  of being nielsens funniest  
neg	please dont mind this windbag letting off a bit of steam    i just want to warn all of yall not to waste your hardearned  on anaconda  its not even worth a 99cent video rental  dont listen to ebert on this one  he has no clue what hes talking about   btw i accompanied my friend to this one because she was  required  to watch it on assignment  she reviews movies for a local paper   now ill actually back up my huffing and puffing  here goes  movie  anaconda rydains bottom line  wait for it to come on usa up all night  even then  i doubt its worth the price of jolt  to help you stay up that late   why do i hate anaconda  let me count the ways    first of all  this movie gets way too many snake facts wrong  as an ophiophile  snake lover   i can tell you that a  anacondas would never reach a length of 40 feet  b  theyre scared of people  c  cases of snakes eating adult humans are extremely rare because human shoulders are too wide to fit in a snakes mouth  and constrictor snakes dont kill what they cant eat  d  people can outrun snakes with no trouble  especially heavy ones like anacondas  e  if an anaconda did eat a human  it would need at least 6 months of sitting on its butt to digest the huge meal  therefore it couldnt run around gobbling up everybody else in the cast  and f  snakes have no vocal cords  so they cant make funny squealing noises  whew  i was prepared to suspend reality if the movie would have been worth it  unfortunately  anaconda was about as suspenseful and exciting as watching paint peel  my friend and i even successfully predicted who would live at the end  anybody can tell the bad guy is going to die eventually  that was a pity because his character was one of the few reasons my friend and i didnt give up and fall asleep  he was the most likable character in the movie  who wouldnt enjoy somebody who looks like a deranged walt whitman  anaconda did have its cute moments  arguments between ice cubes character and the british guy  for instance  however  those small flashes of wit were not worth the other hour and twentyeight minutes of boring schlock  the writers had  and blew  a multitude of opportunities to insert funny lines  i was quite disappointed with a scene where a young guy tells a young lady that the jungle makes him horny  did she retort with a clever  egowithering comeback  of course not   im trying to work   gee  thats even dumber than the crap comebacks i come up with  she could have told him to go find a knothole or something     p but i will admit  there was just one scene where i was surprised at the outcome  hint  it involves the evil guy and miss crap comebacks   as for the plot  im still trying to find one  this movie was basically an excuse to get a boatload of people into dangerous territory where they could get snarfed by ridiculous  computergenerated anacondas with the eyes and fangs of vipers and the fasterthangravity downward acceleration of a harrier jet   harrier snake   not to mention instant digestion so they could go snarf countless other victims  the writers tried to throw in some sort of plot twist  should i call it a plot knot because it made no sense   in which the sick guys gfriend kisses the evil dude and suddenly everybody hates said evil dude and starts trying to kill him  that was about as clear and understandable as mission  impossible   if someone could explain that movie to me  id be most grateful  all the oldguy double agents looked the same    i wasnt inspired by the acting  save for the evil dude  i cant blame the actors  though  its not their fault they had a cruddy script to work with  this concludes rydains diatribe on a shameless exploitation  and perpetuation   of public fear of snakes  comments  flames  anyone  rydain the atomic cheese  fresh from chernobyl dairies  
neg	this movie is written by the man who is deemed to be  one of the hottest writers in hollywood   he wrote the groundbreaking screenplay for scream  810   then added the successful i know what you did last summer  7  510  script to his mix  and also created the popular tv series  dawsons creek   so when he asked to direct his first movie  based on his first ever script written  everyone and their grandma said  sure  go for it    uhhm  my question is    did anyone bother reading this stupid script    plot  ace student leigh ann watson is mistakenly caught with some cheating papers by the bitchiest teacher in the west  mrs  tingle  and set to lose her scholarship to college  when she and her friends visit the teacher at home in order to explain their side of the story  they end up tying her up  and slowly trying to talk some sense into the hardheaded woman  critique  its not so much that this is a bad movie  than the fact that it sucks  this movie is chockfull of onedimensional characters  contains no actual humor that i was able to zone in on  zero tension or thrills  plot holes the size of my big ass  lame pop tunes played to mask nothing going on in the movie  and molly ringwald  vivica a  fox and lesley anne warren tossed away in throwaway roles  i was primed for this film as its interesting premise had me thinking misery  810  and 9 to 5  but unfortunately for williamson  he went nowhere with the bright foundation  making references to the exorcist and dr  zhivago  which i doubt many in his target market will appreciate  he also forgot about suspense  with all of his characters based on incomprehensible decisions  unbelievable motivations and simply boring us with all of their trite dialogue  sure  katie holmes is cute  and her costar  marisa coughlan  did a reasonably amusing impression of the exorcist  worth two points out of my three on ten   but how can we forgive the biggest onedimensional character in any film  holmes rival in the film  mrs  tingles complete unprofessionalism being let go by all others around her  are teachers allowed to behave that way nowadays   and a transparent romance between holmes and some longhaired dude  hired to be the poor mans version of skeet ulrich  who himself is a poor mans version of johnny depp    all in all  this movie was laughable for me  provided me with no insight into anything  demonstrated williamsons genuine lack of directorial skills alongside a juvenile script  and provided helen mirren with a great role to chew into  unfortunately forgetting to give her character any believability  humanity or capacity to comprehend  no hip lines  no cheap thrills  just a dull time at the movie theater  if you want to see a funny teenage movie  go see detroit rock city  810   and thank my drunken  sorry ass in the morning  little known facts about this film and its stars  kevin williamsons father was a fisherman  kevin used his knowledge of fishing hooks and winches when creating the killer in i know what you did last summer  7  510   he is also a huge fan of steven spielberg and coincidentally  so is dawson leery on tvs  dawsons creek   a show kevin created  he was once an aspiring actor  in fact  he even landed a bit part on tvs  another world   also  williamson has gone on record to say that an unsupportive english teacher who once told him that he would never amount to anything was the inspiration for mrs  tingle  which is also loosely based on the book  killing mr  griffin  by the writer of i know what you did last summer  7  510   lois duncan  he has also come out and said that he is a gay man  helen mirren was born in london  england under the name ilynea lydia mironoff  she is married to director taylor hackford  whose works include devils advocate  810  and an officer and a gentleman  8  510   this film was originally titled killing mrs  tingle  but was changed after the columbine high school shooting incident  actress marisa coughlan will star in kevin williamson next tv project called  wasteland   this is actor barry watson first full feature film  he has played the character of  seth  on tvs  malibu shores  several times  
neg	in a typical cinematic high school  the football jocks have sex with the girls and then dump them  but not before the boys scores are dutifully recorded in their little black books  as the sexual acts take place  the other guys hang out nearby  guzzling beer and grunting like pigs  in the rage  carrie 2  robert mandels terminally bland sequel to carrie  there isnt a single original moment  only amy irving returns from carrie  and the talent of the rest of the sequels cast is impossible to determine given the stupefying mediocrity of rafael moreus script  as rachel  the horror storys lead  emily bergl gives one of the least scary performances in recent memory  but it isnt exactly her fault  the director asks for little from his actors  which is precisely what he gets  sporadically in this lame and lifeless movie  rachel will cause school lockers and windows to fly open  but generally she just mopes around looking like a victim  her fellow students delight in tormenting her  of course  she will get her revenge in the obligatory ending bloodbath in which she will decapitate and castrate the boys and crush the girls with burning timbers  as the movie marks time until its big finale  it throws in some repugnant scenes  hoping to turn audiences stomachs  rachels girlfriend commits a horrible and realistic suicide after the boy who made  love  to her the night before spurns her   he gets major points in his black book for this  but his buddies say he would have gotten more if he had had sex with her after her death   even a helpless puppy is run over  and we see his poor  little body flipping over and over under a truck  the teenagers in the movie are completely blas  about it all   doesnt it offend you that some girl offed herself yesterday   asks one of the few kids with a conscience   why   responds his nonplussed girlfriend   she wasnt anybody   remarkably devoid of any energy  especially for a horror flick  the movie makes one yearn for a fast forward button on the theaters armrest  with material this bad  the films only hope is to go for parody  but it isnt smart enough to realize it  even the mandatory epilogue is as pointless and predictable as the rest of the movie  the rage  carrie 2 runs 1  45  it is rated r for graphic violence  teen alcohol abuse  sex  nudity and profanity and would be acceptable only for older teenagers  
neg	man  this was one wierd movie  similar to conspiracy theory in that it couldnt decide which genre it is  the first hour is your standard stock aliens clone  which nicely created an eerie atmosphere about the ship  the last half hour  this was when the makers blew the script out the airlock and just decided   screw it  lets just kill everybody   from then on  forget scifi    this movie becomes 100 horror  what really dissappointed me about this movie was that it tried to scare you in entirely the wrong way  instead of using clever tricks or trying to build up to a scare  this movie just uses loud noises  sudden camera shifts and short quick bursts of gore      yawn     everyones seen it all before and knows when to expect it  the one thing that was done well was the lead up to finding out about what happened to the previous crew  there are skeletons lying around mangled and mashed  but what did this  then finally after being painfully restored  the new crew views the video  the acting isnt too bad at all      considering what the actors had to work with anyway  as there is no complex or interesting dialogue to speak of  there was some very nice camerawork in certain sequences though  like when the hull near the bridge of the event horizon is breached and the camera pans back to follow specific objects as they bounce across the deck and are sucked out into space  this movie could have been so much better  it had a good experienced cast who deserved more to work with  there was just nothing new here that any of us havent seen before in aliens or hellraiser  
neg	the king and i  a warner brothers animated  musical feature  recycles the classic story of a woman who challenges the heart of a king  with obvious results  when anna  miranda richardson   a british schoolteacher  travels to saim to educate the kings  martin vidnovic  children  she learns that the king is treating his people unfairly  and must say something to the greedy ruler  meanwhile  the kings prime minister  ian richardson   the stereotypical villain  plots to overthrow the king  taking the throne  the last  and most predictable  main subplot deals with the kings son  allen d  hong   and his love for a servant  tuptim  armi arabe   and how he conflicts with his feelings  and the ancient laws of saim  not even the lone strong character of anna can save the unbelievably horrible waste of talent  as the king and is problems could fill the blank pages of a journal  i will only note the major difficulties  for it would take pages to elaborate on every detail  the screenplay  written by arthur rankin  peter bakalian  jacqeline feather  and david seidler  which is based upon the play written by richard rodgers and oscar hammerstein  has some of the worst dialogue written in a film within recent memory  as every time the obnoxious king would shout   etc  etc  etc   i would cringe  literally  speaking of cringing i did quite a bit of this during the rather short film  which is a classic display of terrible filmmaking  besides the repetitive dialogue from the king  on the whole  the songs seem out of place  and unlike the lyrics  are unmagical  the sole song which is used cleverly is  getting to know you   which is used as anna shows the children the great outdoors  which they have never been exposed to  unlike disney animated features  the king and is songs dont add to the film  and are as uneffective as could be  take the following scenario as an example  as the sheer horror of the king and is music is at its worst  youre being hunted by a dragon  what do you do   sing a happy song  martin vidnovic voices the king without effort or emotion you hear the saying two negatives dont make a positive  believe it  with the terrible dialogue that the king has  along with his awful voice track  the king is completely unbelievable  only shows mild signs of any personality  and the only thing that changes in the king is that he says  etc   etc   etc    more and more as the film progresses  no personality at the beginning of the movie  none at the end  and where does this characters personality change  hey  i thought anna was supposed to change him  isnt that the whole plot  the prime ministers hideous sidekick  darrell hammond  brings his share of cringes as well  oh no  another one of his teeth fell out  hardyharhar  he is supposed to bring laughs for the kidlets  but even at age five i would have cringed while watching him  by the way this review is going  you may think the reasoning for my hate for this film is due to not liking animated films hence why i hate this movie  because the king and i is a disgrace to animation  animated films  such as 1994s the lion king and 1998s the prince of egypt  are among my favorite movies of all time  the animation team does design their share of well animated settings  so this makes it easier to take my mind off of the annoying king  until i realize that day and night switch back in fourth within seconds  i have not read the play  or seen the oscar winning  1956 film adaption  but from what i can tell  the screenplay for the 1999 version completely butchers the play  for the king and i is never magical  nor interesting  if it wasnt for miranda richardson  who voices anna with feeling  the king and i could earn the title   worst movie of the decade   instead  the king and i will just go down as among the years worst  the bottom line avoid this movie at all costs  not even young children  the target audience in this film  will enjoy it  not the slightest bit  
neg	synopsis  cromagnon ayla loses her mother to an earthquake and escapes certain death by a lion  reluctantly rescued by a neanderthal clan who likes to have sex doggystyle  ayla grows up to become a blond  feminist supermodel who challenges the neanderthal patriarchy by throwing rocks and giving birth without a mate  comments  allow me to state for the record that i find daryl hannah an appealing presence in movies  she proved quite charming as the intelligent astronomer in the romantic comedy roxanne and equally creepy as pris in the scifi classic blade runner  the clan of the cave bear clearly tries to capitalize on hannah as a selling point  the poster art bears a striking closeup of hannah in tribal paint and the video box prominently features her name in lettering the same size as the title  not even her starring role in this turkey  unfortunately  can save it from being an unbelievable exercise in cheese  its so uniquely bad  a film dealing with prehistoric man that actually tries  and miserably fails  to be serious  that its oddly fascinating  the ridiculous attempt at drama here leaves the audience somehow transfixed  wanting to see how this dud plays out  the clan of the cave bear is based upon a popular novel by jean m  auel  to this day  the book possesses a loyal cult following  i remember a dear friend of mine had a dogeared copy of the novel she had read as a child with all the socalled dirty parts blacked out with marker by her grandmother  i have never read this book  but i sure hope its 10  000 times better than its film adaptation  if not  then im at a complete loss to explain its popularity  the clan of the cave bear immediately opens with a comically absurd scene  a young ayla  looking much like drew barrymore in e  t   tramps about in the woods  with her cute little ponytails and fur wrapped about her  the audiences expectations of a convincing portrayal of prehistory are immediately shattered  what follows is a laughably choreographed sequence in which an earthquake swallows up aylas mother  a blonde with fur pants    er  leggings   tearful ayla looks on as the cameraman shakes the camera    well  as the earthquake slowly recedes  a hungry lion becomes interested in her for lunch  but the screaming sixyearold manages to outrun the king of the wild and find a safe haven  i wont detail the story any further  this seems enough to illustrate my point  this movie is really stupid  it never even gives the audience a chance to suspend their disbelief  also  the obvious comparison between the appearance of cromagnon man in prehistory and the rise of feminism in our century is about as subtle as burning a wonderbra in front of charlton heston  the movie doesnt just suggest this message  it whacks the message into the audience with a twobyfour  a blond  gorgeous woman challenges the social laws of a bunch of people in gaudy brown wigs  shes of the  new people   theyre of the  old people  with  the memories   yep  we get it  we get it  the clan of the cave bear apparently received an academy award nomination for best makeup  which surprises me  the movie depends upon a lot of makeup obviously  but much of it is unconvincing  as stated before  daryl hannah is daryl hannah here  she looks like she just stepped out of the shower all the time  the rest of the characters have dark makeup of some sort smeared over them to look like dirt  the facepainting thats occasionally seen is perhaps the only notable work here in my mind  this movie also suffers from its new age trappings  maybe the music sounded a lot more fresh or original during 1985  but now it sounds dated and cliched  like poorly conceived elevator music  add to this the films fauxmysticism  including spirit animals and dream visions  and a narrator who sounds like a psychic youd expect to hear on a 1900 number  and you get a movie that has serious problems being serious  the clan of the cave bear is rated r  though its probably one of the most inoffensive offensive films ive seen in quite a while  it contains several scenes of sex sans nudity  the violence mostly consists of hunting scenes  the funniest moment of the movie occurs when a neanderthal in love with ayla attempts to rescue her from a ferocious bear  the bear bites his head off and the audience sees it rolling about  although this may sound gratuitous  im sure  its so cheesy that it probably wont bother most people  the clan of the cave bear is a bad movie  however  as i wrote at the beginning of this review  it does have the distinction of originality  typically when i think of bottomofthebarrel films dealing with early man  fantasy movies involving dinosaurs  who did not exist at the same time as man  and raquel welch come to mind  the clan of the cave bear tries so hard to be serious that  though its so bad  the audience is still interested by the unique setting and characters of the movie  which is why i awarded this turkey two stars   i have to think that fans of the book would be disappointed with this film version  however  im only basing this observation on the fact that the book is almost invariably better than the movie  i shudder to think that it could be otherwise    
neg	salaries of hollywood top actors are getting obscenely large these days and many find this to be the main reason for skyrocketing movie budgets  actors who demand such salaries might be greedy  but in some instances they are quite justified  because many films would never be watched or even made without their participation  proof for that can be found even in the realm of lowbudget movies  and one fine example is breakaway  1995 thriller directed by sean dash and starring  in  famous figure skater tonya harding  face of tonya harding is most prominently featured on movies poster  but the main star of the film is terri thompson who plays myra  attractive woman who works as a courier for gangster  one day she decides to retire  but her employers are anything but enthusiastic about that  realising that her life suddenly became worthless  myra starts running for her life  followed by professional assassins  terri thompson being the actual star of the film instead of tonya harding becomes quite understandable after the scenes that feature former figure skater  although tonya harding displays convincing martial arts abilities  her acting leaves much to be desired  on the other hand  her disappointing efforts are hardly out of place in the film that lacks originality  believable characters and situations and actually represents anything that gave bfilms a bad name  martin sheens brother joe estevez  whose character looks like he had entered from another movies set  is the only bright spot of breakaway  unfortunately  he appears in this film too little too late to prevent viewers from realising why tonya hardings silver screen debut proved to be her last film  
neg	movies like six days  seven nights make me mad because talented people like harrison ford  anne heche  and ivan reitman put a lot of hard work in to a script worth about ten cents   the script was written by michael browning  and he decided that  instead of thinking up new ideas  hed rehash a lot of cliches  omit even the slightest bit of character development  and then throw in drugdealing pirates to provide for a few highlevel action sequences and explosions   there are good scripts out there that highprofile actors can make  see the truman show  for instance    six days  seven nights is simply a waste  lets see    we have to get harrison ford and anne heche alone on an island   so  how do we do that   well  well make her a feisty magazine editor  and well make him a crusty old pilot   but wait  she has to have a fianc  e  that can be david schwimmer   but wait  if she has a fianc  e  how will she and harrison ford crash on the island alone   i know   theyll get to their vacation spot  and then shell get called back   yessssss   so  theyll crash on the island  and that will be funny for about five minutes   shucks  oh  ive got it   well throw in a distracting subplot in which her fianc  e has sex with a really attractive woman who acts like a bimbo  and then he can feel guilty   then  when anne heche kisses harrison ford  they have to kiss  because otherwise nobody will want to see the movie   it will be a vindicated action  because her fianc  e will already have cheated on her   then  for no obvious reason  theyll accidentally run into pirates who try to kill them   oh  yes   i feel so good about this story   instead of using characterization to propel the events  it will be completely random  and yet totally predictable   imagine that  dont get me wrong  six days  seven nights is not a boring picture  ford and heche both do a great job   the sparks fly between them  and so most of brownings inane dialogue is drowned out by the actors sheer force of talent   almost every scene between them has energy that the performers bring to the screen  and i found myself laughing pretty hard   schwimmer is also funny  and manages to milk all of his scenes for whatever he can get   and reitman  who has made some good films  at least tries to make things exciting   even though the pirate subplot is profoundly dumb  i was prepared to be pleasantly sidetracked by the action sequences  its just when i start to think about the story that my contempt for this film surfaces   the picture feels like its been hacked to pieces  i wouldnt be surprised if five or six inept subplots have been edited out completely   the ones that are here are as bad as they come  i think i let out a very audible groan when they get the first glimpse of the pirate ships   and id just like to shake the producers by the shoulders and scream   why did you pick this awful script     the film is outright stupid  but some of the elements are subtly horrifying   for instance  take the subplot in which the schwimmer character has sex with the bimbo  and then feels really guilty   this is a serious problem in real life  but six days  seven nights reduces any chance of complexity to a weak plot device   his actions are what makes it okay for heche to kiss ford   in a script that lacks even a glimpse of intelligent subtlety  i find it odd that such a strangely insulting device ended up in the story  this is summer movie season  but that doesnt mean our movies have to be dumb   1998 so far has been one of the worst years in recent memory for summer blockbusters   when i was in line for six days  seven nights  i heard the woman in front of me ask for  two tickets to that new harrison ford movie    why didnt she know the name of the film   i suppose she just didnt care   what bothers me even more is that the people who make these bigbudget pictures dont realize that their films are becoming parodies of themselves   good actors should sign to good scripts  and if hollywood insists on making flicks to rake in cash  they least they could do is assume that wed like to spend our money on a story worth more than ten cents  
neg	if anything   stigmata  should be taken as a warning against releasing similarlythemed films relatively close to one another  of the four supernatural horror flicks released this year  it is clearly the worst  i suppose i should have seen this coming  after all   blair witch  thoroughly creeped me out   sixth sense  was mildly spooky  and then  stir of echoes  had its moments  but wasnt anything id lose sleep over  clearly  the quality of the horror this summer has slowly been dropping  is it then any surprise that  stigmata  is the dullest  most horribly executed piece of mtvinfluenced tripe i have seen in a long while  no  not really  patricia arquette plays frankie page  a hairdresser from pittsburgh who receives a rosary as a gift from her globetrotting mother  as it turns out  the rosary belonged to a recentlydeceased brazilian priest  the priests church had been under investigation by father andrew kiernan  gabriel byrne  because of the mysterious appearance of a bleeding statue  father kiernan is an investigator who has made a career out of disproving supposed religious signs  but this time he believes there is something to the bleeding statue  his investigation is soon called off  however  when the frankie starts exhibiting signs of the stigmata  in which a person is inflicted with wounds like that of jesus christ  father kiernan is initially skeptical of frankie s story  considering shes an atheist  but once he witnesses the stigmata attacks himself  he dedicates himself to finding out what is going on  he eventually begins to suspect that his boss  cardinal houseman  jonathan pryce   is concealing something that could bring down the catholic church  as it turns out  the dead priest had been working on the translation of a  fifth gospel  before they were excommunicated  the new rupert wainwright music video    i mean film  stigmata  is the sort of film that starts off ok and only gets worse  indeed  it would have been good if it were a music video  because its only interesting for about five minutes  im not sure what wainwright is trying to prove with his endless parade of slowmotion  doubleexposure  and extreme closeups  whoaaaaaa       other than the fact that he has the most swelled head of any director in hollywood and  yes  he has been to film school  his camera trickery is interesting for a little while  but eventually  it becomes headacheinducing  what this film needed is a second audio track to be played over the dialogue  such as it is   with wainwright screaming at the audience   see  look at what i can do  im an excellent director   maybe then hed explain why he decided to start half of his scenes with slowmotion shots of water dripping in reverse  or why he included random superfluous shots as that of an egg frying  ooh  scary    if there was some underlying meaning behind all this camera trickery  i didnt see it  just when you thought it was safe to get involved in the story  here comes a doubleexposure shot of two patricia arquettes collapsing into bed for no reason whatsoever  arrrrrrrghhhh    then again  the superfluous camera trickery wouldnt bother me if  stigmata  had a story or characters that were remotely engaging  though wainwrights vanity certainly doesnt help  he does seem to have been given a nearly unworkable script  where are plot continuity and character development when you need them  case in point  frankie page is the character that  i assume  we are supposed to identify and sympathize with  but we arent given any back story on her character  or any reason to like her  the extent of her character development seems to be that she is a hardworking hairdresser  who can somehow afford a cavernous apartment on the top floor of her building  and shes kind of cute  so lets start the bleeding  the fact that shes clearly not the brightest bulb in the drawer doesnt help  either  according to frankie page  what is the first thing to do after receiving mysterious wounds on your wrists and back  go clubbing  sure  that makes sense  arquette  byrne  and pryce give it the old college try  but their characters are so onedimensional that they just appear to be sleepwalking  scenes between arquette and byrne that were probably supposed to be sexually charged fall almost embarrassingly flat  because the setup of the romantic subplot is so clumsily handled that it almost reaches the point of becoming laughable  even though frankie pages life is falling apart before her very eyes  she still finds the time to hit on a priest who wanders in to her hair salon  even more curiously  he seems to be interested in her advances  father andrews religious doubt pops up so suddenly that it seems more silly than dramatic  as for pryce  he may as well wear a curled mustache and cackle   ill get you  my pretty   for all the depth his cardinal houseman is afforded  trust me  im not revealing anything by telling you pryce turns out to be a villain  whats worse  after being faced with dull characters and the prospect of having annoying camera tricks and loud music jammed down our throats  we now have to contend with a story that starts off in one direction  veers off in another  then another  and ends up being totally incomprehensible  first of all  the film doesnt even bother to explain what should be very simple plot details  how does frankie get the stigmata merely by touching a rosary  how come an atheist like her was chosen  since father andrew mentions that only very devout believers have ever received stigmata  actually  im not sure what frankie was posessed by  supposedly  stigmata occurs when one is posessed by the holy spirit  but the film later has her being posessed by the dead priest  and later by some evil spirit  i think   which one is it  the answer to this question  of course  is very simple  the possessing entity in each scene is determined by whichever effects and flashy camera work mr  wainwright wants to use this time  furthermore  the ending is a ridiculously neat little wrapup  and the filmmakers compound this problem by ultimately turning the film into a diatribe against the catholic church  if you do any research at all about the gospel of st  thomas  youll find that it is not being suppressed by the church  as the film seems to claim   but that it is readily available at your local library  theres nothing the catholics need to worry about  though   stigmatas  religion is so offbase that it cant be confused for anything remotely resembling the real catholic church  if they wanted to portray catholic priests as mobsters  they should have gone allout and equipped them with sharkskin suits and tommy guns  which would have been far more interesting  im not catholic  in fact  i don t care much for the catholic church  but its cartoonish misrepresentation in this film should not be considered realistic by any means  its rare to see a film that fails on as many levels as  stigmata  does  it s not thoughtprovoking  though it would like to be  and it is definitely not scary  though it pretends to be  im not sure why they tried to pass this off as a horror film  because there is absolutely nothing scary about the story  maybe its an attempt to cover up the fact that none of the scenes have any dramatic weight whatsoever  the initial shock of seeing arquette covered with blood is dulled by the fact that it happens over  and over  and over  like so many films of the mtv generation  this one suffers from overkill  so much is overdone in  stigmata   that it eventually has no effect on the audience  leaving us to pick out the films  many  flaws  im also still trying to figure out why the quotation they take from the gospel of st  thomas is so earthshattering  when we finally hear it  the saying sounds like something every fiveyearold learns on their first day of sunday school  which means that for all its flash  the whole film is really much ado about nothing  the dog days of summer usually produce one monstrous dog  and  stigmata  is it  
neg	john boormans  zardoz  is a goofy cinematic debacle so fundamentally misconceived and laughably executed that it takes on a bizarre enjoyment quality all its own  not since the rampant bumblings of one edward d  wood jr  has a movie been so silly and so serious at the same time  of course  woods career can be explained by two things  he had no money and he had no talent  boorman  on the other hand  cannot court such excuses to explain  zardoz   or his followup film  the equally awful  exorcist ii  the heretic    boorman obviously had a sizable budget  a matinee idol movie star  sean connery  in the lead role  and although you wouldnt know it from this film  boorman does indeed have talent  this is the man who made the slick modern masterpiece  deliverance   1972   as well as the autobiographical world war ii drama  hope and glory   1987   the slightly overconceived arthurian epic  excalibur   1981  and the fatherson jungle adventure  the emerald forest   1985   his films all show that boorman is never lacking in imagination  but sometimes that comes at the cost of coherence and taste  if boorman is anything  hes ambitious  and when he succeeds  its in grand fashion  unfortunately  the bigger they are  the harder they fall  and when boorman falls  the resounding impact can be heard for miles around   zardoz  is meant to takes its place among the grandest of mystical movies  an obsession of boormans  his screenplay tries to elicit the same mythological connotations of the arthurian legends or even  the wizard of oz   a book which figures into the movies plot  but  despite all this reaching  the resulting movie is more unintentionally funny than intentionally enigmatical or compelling  the events take place in the distant year 2293  but there is little of the typical futuristic movieness to be found  in fact  things seems to have moved backwards  with people riding horses  shooting oldstyle guns  and living in large victorian mansions  its more middle ages than space age  the world of  zardoz  is divided into two distinct hemispheres  the outlands  where all the poor  pathetic people live  and the vortex  where a select group of wealthy intellectuals live in comfort and everlasting life  these immortals never grow old  they never engage in sexual activity  they possess psychological powers  and they live in a sort of quasiutopian marxist society where everyone is equal  and everyone contributes equally to the society  however  if one breaks the rules  that person is punished by being aged so many years  if someone breaks the rules enough  he or she is aged to the point of senility  and imprisoned to an eternal existence in a geriatric home with others aged criminals  one of the immortals  arthur frayn  niall buggy   a squirmy man with a mustache and goatee tattooed on his face  is charged with keeping order in the outlands and forcing the residents to farm so the immortals can be fed  like  the wizard of oz   he adopts a godlike status among the people by flying in to their part of the world in a giant stone carved like a menacing head   this flying head is one of the movies opening images  and its a dead giveaway of the lunacy to come   calling himself zardoz  frayn gathers a bunch of outlanders and makes them into a group called the exterminators  whose purpose is to kill most of the other outlanders so they cant procreate and take up more resources  from inside his giant  stone head  zardoz bellows seriously laughinducting statements like   the gun is good  the penis is evil   that line alone is worth the movies cult following  one day  an exterminator named zed  sean connery   sneaks into zardozs flying stone  pushes frayn out  and goes back to the vortex  once there  the immortals label him a  brutal  and study him like a lab rat  taking great  perverse care in exploring his sexuality  which is a mystery to them  they seem especially interested in his ability to gain an erection  and there is one downright hilarious sequence where a bunch of scantilyclad female scientists show zed erotic footage on a video screen in an attempt to determine what gets him worked up  i say  hilarious  because that is exactly what  zardoz  is  it is obvious that boorman did not intend it to be so  he made this film with the straightest of faces  although i have a hard time believing that as production moved forward  he didnt get even the slightest inkling of how patently ridiculous it was becoming  just looking at connery is enough to give one the giggles  he spends most of the film running around in a red loin cloth that resembles a diaper  a mane of hair braided halfway down his back  a wyatt earpstyle handlebar mustache  and a pair of thighhigh patent leather boots that would look more appropriate on a cheap hollywood hooker  boorman made the film right after the critical and financial success of  deliverance   which is the only reason i can imagine a studio would greenlight this effort  he attracted some rich talent on both sides of the camera  including cinematographer geoffrey unsworth   2001    whose striking visuals are about the only good thing in  zardoz  besides the inadvertent humor  sean connery had made his last james bond film in 1971  and perhaps he was looking for a change in pace  he got exactly that in  zardoz   and its a wonder it didnt end his career  im sure boorman intended for this movie to make some grand statements  is it a treatise about the infallibility of eternal life  is it a condemnation of those who consider growing old to be a bad thing  or is it a social statement  something about the inherent negativity of class distinctions and the violence it creates  karl marx might like it if he were more like timothy leary  come to think of it  maybe boorman made it as an extended lsd trip  people high on illicit substances are the only ones i can imagine enjoying this asinine silliness as anything more than a completely unintentional comedy  
neg	the kids in the hall are an acquired taste  it took at least a season of watching their show on hbo before i became a believer  maybe after watching a half dozen kids in the hall movies  they would grow into the big screen  my recommendation is that  unless you are a big fan of the kids  skip the film  as it is  their firstand most likely onlyattempt at a full length film lacks the qualities that made their comedy work on tv  a bigbudget and glossy production can not make up for a lack of spontaneity that permeates their tv show  the kids go through the motions  but you get the feeling that they arent really having fun doing so  and this makes it more difficult for the audience to enjoy their antics  brain candy is a bunch of skits tied together by the story of a pharmaceutical company that develops a new drug to cure depression  in typical sketchcomedy tradition  each actor plays several roles  doctor cooper  kevin mcdonald  and his team create the drug  then  under pressure from don roritor  mark mckinney   founder and president of roritor pharmaceuticals  dr  cooper releases the drug into the marketplace  the ensuing distribution of the new happy pill throughout the populace drives the rest of the film  at about 90 minutes  brain candy still seems long  the best thing about sketch comedyand the kids are no exceptionis the ability to quickly deliver the laughs  then go on to another quick skit  but with the additional setup necessary in telling a longer  coherent story  the laughs just dont come fast enough  strangely  the show is even more tame than it was when on cable tv  the movie makes several attempts at risquenessmostly by pointing up the gayness of one of scott thompsons charactersbut they seem almost forced  as if they have to live up to a pg rating  one of the best bits  though  does make use of thompsons naked buttocks  we see him charging into battlegoing to have sex with some guys taking a shower  in the classic of this genre  monty python pulled off this delicate balancing act between plot advancement and punchline delivery for most of the holy grail  the kids  unfortunately  are not up to the task  there are some amusing moments  to be sure  but not enough to make the experience an enjoyable one  
neg	there was a time when john carpenter was a great horror director  of course  his best film was 1978s masterpiece   halloween   but he also made 1980s  the fog   and 1987s underrated   prince of darkness   heck  he even made a good film in 1995  with  in the mouth of madness   but something terribly wrong happened to him in 1992  with the terrible comedy   memoirs of an invisible man   somehow  carpenter has lost his touch  with junk like his failed 1995 remake of   village of the damned   to his uninspired 1996 sequel   escape from l  a   those movies  however  look like cinematic works of art compared to his latest film   john carpenters vampires   if i was him  i definately wouldnt want to put my own name in the title  it is a sad state of affairs when carpenter can make something as misguided and flatly written and filmed as   vampires   the story is simple  jack crow  james woods  is a vampire hunter who  along with one of his partners  montoya  daniel baldwin   and a prostitute  katrina  sheryl lee   survives an attack from the master vampire  valek  thomas ian griffith   since katrina was previously bitten by him  crow takes her along because anyone who is bitten by valek becomes telepathically linked to him until they themselves turn into vampires a couple days later  and crow is hoping to find him with the help of her  it seems valeks mission is to steal a black  wooden cross from a roman catholic church that will enable him to become so powerful that sunlight will not destroy him  my question is  how many time have we seen this same story played out  well  the answer is just about as many times as a better version of the story has been made   john carpenters vampires   sadly enough  is one of the most unscary horror films ive ever seen  in fact  there isnt even one suspenseful moment in the whole 105minute running time  the nonstop vampire attack sequences are stylelessly filmed  without any interesting camera work  which is usually a trademark of carpenters  and then we come to the screenplay  which  as far as i can tell  is nearly nonexistent  there is no story development  and there isnt even an attempt to flesh out the characters  james woods can be a good actor  but he has nothing to do here but to say a couple of  pseudo  clever lines of dialogue  daniel baldwin has some potential  but his character comes off as being very dense  and sheryl lee  faring much better as laura palmer in  twin peaks    like all of the female characters  plays an offensive stereotypical whore  there is not an ounce of intelligence  or excitement in   john carpenters vamires   which is very disheartening coming from an exfan of carpenters  he has said that he turned down directing   halloween  h20   because he couldnt work up any excitement for it  and yet  when asked about a  vampires  sequel  he said he would be happy to do it  i think thats a definite sign that carpenter has finally lost any trace of his lasting talent  not to mention a significant number of iq points  
neg	two party guys bob their heads to haddaways dance hit  what is love   while getting themselves into trouble in nightclub after nightclub  its barely enough to sustain a threeminute saturdaynightlive skit  but snl producer lorne michaels  clueless creator amy heckerling  and paramount pictures saw something in the late night television institutions recurring  roxbury guys  sketch that would presumably make a good feature  emphasis on the word  presumably   anightattheroxbury takes an alreadythin concept and tediously stretches it far beyond the breaking pointand that of viewers patience levels  the first five minutes or so of roxbury play very much like one of the original  roxbury guys  skits  with  what is love   blaring on the soundtrack  the brotherly duo of doug and steve butabi  chris kattan and will ferrell  bob their heads  scope out  hotties  at clubs  and then bump a select few with violent pelvic thrusts  there is one crucial difference  howeverthese guys speak  that little fact has been used as justification for the films existence  that the butabis newfound capacity for speech would open up a whole new set of doors for the characters  the doors opened by director john fortenberry and screenwriters steve koren  ferrell  and kattan are new  thats for sure  but they all lead to comic dead ends  there is no story per se  only a loosely structured and linked series of subplots  the brothers literally run into  or  rather  get run into  as in by car  richard grieco of 21jumpstreet fame  and through him they gain entrance into the exclusive roxbury club  there  they meet a hotshot club owner  chazz palminteri  conspicuously uncreditedcan you blame him    who takes an interest in an idea of theirs  meanwhile  the bros overbearing father  dan hedaya  wants them to stop clubbing  when doug refuses and the dimwitted steve obeys his father  a rift is created between the two  the narrative messiness of roxbury would have been forgivable if all that went on were the slightest bit funny  but virtually none of it is  the assembled press audience mostly sat stonily silent throughout the entire film  with the one big exception being a big laugh near the end  alas  the jokea rather lazy takeoff on jerrymaguirewill only strike a chord with people who have seen that film  granted  a lot of people have seen jerrymaguire  but the fact that the films best joke is completely dependent on ones familiarity with another film says a lot about roxburys lack of inspiration  that lack of inspiration can be traced back to the insipid characters themselves  like too many of the skits on the current incarnation of saturdaynightlive   the roxbury guys  is a onejoke sketch that never once suggests that the characters have enough comic life in them to survive outside of the sketch context  after watching one of the  roxbury  skits on snl  this is what you come away with from the characters  they bob their heads to  what is love    bump unsuspecting women  and    thats all  after watching anightattheroxbury  youll be left with exactly the same  
