 Hi YouTube! What's up? It's been a while, huh? Well, I just got done with my workout and I'm going to go up to the pool. It's February. What is on my face? What is that? I think that's just sweat. Yep. I had a really good workout. I had a shoulder and chest workout and then I finished with sprints on the treadmill. So I am hot and where the treadmills are set up. You're staring at the pool. So I'm just staring at the pool the whole time I'm doing these intervals. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to the pool and I'm done. I'm jumping in the water. So I came back and got my swimsuit on and now I'm headed up to the pool. Yay! I'm here at the pool and I'm answering emails. Hard at work. Then I'm going to read my favorite book ever. I seriously read this like 10 times now. I love it so much. So I just pick it up and open a page and then read that chapter and somehow it's always incredibly relevant and what I need to hear. So I love it. I am back from the pool which was awesome and I wanted to talk about the topic of this video and it's about how I balance being a mom, being a business owner and still having time for myself because as you can see I make the time for myself and that's a big part of it. But we're going to talk about it. So I wrote down some notes so I'm not just like rambling. I don't want this video to be like not super long either. So real quick I'm going to just tell you guys what to expect. So first we're going to we're going to start with the takeaway of the video because I know not everybody has time to watch the whole thing. So if you just want to get you know the gist of it we'll start with that and then I'm going to go into a little bit about how our dynamic works as a family because we are different and unique. So I'm going to talk about our personal experience and then the last thing is going to be like specific actions that you can take to make your situation better if you feel like this speaks to you. So let's get right into it. So the biggest thing is that it's a choice that you have to make to be able to make time for yourself. It is honestly a decision and it's a hard one. It really is like being selfish is something that we're taught growing up that's not okay. It's not a good thing to do. But I completely disagree and it's something that I struggled with for a long time. Like I would always I am a selfless person and I care so much about other people and helping people that I would always put myself last. And you know at the end of the day I found myself just not a happy person and it affected my relationships. It affected me being able to help people more. So one thing that I really realized in this like my weight loss journey was that I had to take care of myself first. I'm able to be a better mom and be a better wife. Be a better coach because I make the decision to put myself first. So going into like a personal example of that this morning like I spent my mornings with Marshall. Now that's one of the way our dynamic works but I'll wake up and I'll usually like do a little bit of like yoga and stretching in bed and just kind of like some positive affirmations to start the day off. Right? And then I'll spend my morning with Marshall and then once Tom takes over I go and I get my workout done you know whatever I need to do with Marshall we go on that three-mile walk that I think I've talked about before. So I get my cardio in with him it's a win-win and then I go get my lift done once Tom takes over and then some days like today after I lift I want to go to the pool and that's a nice little me time and I'll spend at least half the time at the pool just like relaxing try to meditate and just kind of clear my mind do some like daily mantras and stuff like that and then I spend the rest of the time like checking my emails and getting started and then I come back and I finish my emails whatever else I need to do I work. So it was hard in the beginning like I would wake up in the morning I wanted like answer my emails immediately and answer all my clients immediately but I found that I actually respond a lot better to those people if I take care of my business first if I take care of myself first then I can be a better coach to them and a better mom you know you got to take care of yourself that's for sure. I also want to mention too that even if you're not a mom like this applies to you so I lost a hundred pounds when I was in college and that was hard like it was it was hard balancing the time of you know class and I worked through college too so I had a job I was going to class you have to study a lot you have you know homework to do and to try to have a social life along with going to the gym and you know prepping some food like eating healthy it was really hard but it was a decision that I made to do it so I tell my clients all the time like there's always going to be an excuse there's always going to be you know I'm like you're you're going to you could tell yourself like whatever I'm not going to do it like you can be lazy like that's a choice it's a choice to not be it's a choice to go to the gym another takeaway is you know that something that I really learned too is that work hard play hard I am somebody that I bust my ass I really do like I enjoy working I enjoy what I do so I love to work but I have I've learned over the years that I have to play just as hard as I work or I'm not going to be as motivated and rejuvenated in my work if I'm not enjoying my fun time and that's something that I really struggle with especially with coaching is like I always want to like be really responsive to my clients and just constantly like be marketing and like you know answering inquiries um but I have to set a side time for not only just me and like just being away from everything but also fun um going out like tonight my husband and I are going out and that's something that like I the old me would have like if I saw an email come in I would have answered it real quick and it's hard but it's a decision to make to not answer that email when I'm with my husband because that's our time have fun don't stress about work it's not time for that and because I force myself to do that um when it is time to work I'm able to get a lot more done I'm a lot more motivated okay so last take away like this is not to say that like you should be neglecting you know your family or your work or anything like that um it's about finding the right balance so you know for me like I spend a ton of time with my son in a ton of time with my husband I also spend a good amount of time by myself doing things you know that I need to do to rejuvenate to you know feel better self-care stuff so I'll talk more about like specific things in a second but you just you have to fight to find that balance and also part of that it's like going out with my girlfriends and having fun you know honestly like most of the time I don't I love my girlfriends obviously very much but like most of time I know I just you know I'm either tired and like I just want to like do nothing or I would just be you know brother be with my husband and my son because they're the most important thing to me but I make myself you know go out and do stuff and I don't regret it at all like I love spending time with my girlfriends so much and it's just a different dynamic than you know being the mother and the entrepreneur whatever so that time is really really important for me to appreciate them more appreciate you know my my husband and my son okay so let's talk about like our family dynamic because I have a different family dynamic than the traditional family dynamic so for us I am the main income provider for the house kind of just fell into the coaching business I tracked you know my weight loss journey on social media I got a lot of people asking me for help and I decided to get certified again though it's not completely like I just magically fell into this it was an opportunity I really believe in opportunity that the universe gave me the universe gives us all opportunities it's up to us to take them and that's not to say like I wasn't terrified you know I was fresh out of college pregnant and I had been I had got certified I had been coaching a little bit but it was a part-time gig and when I got pregnant I realized like hey this is like really working out I want to pursue this full-time and it was scary um it was scary getting certified because it's like $500 it's like in my you know is this worth doing but I didn't let my fears paralyze me I was like I'm you know what I'm doing this I'm gonna make it work and it was a decision to make it work you know if you have that mentality like this I'm gonna make this happen I'm gonna you know make time for myself and and figure out a good balance I'm gonna start my own business it's gonna work out for you because you're gonna do whatever needs to be done to get there so when I was like a couple weeks after I'm having Marshall um Thomas was working out a job that didn't even want to give him time off for the birth of our son of our first child he they didn't even want to give him time off they were giving him a hard time about taking like a few days off and that made me furious absolutely furious I thought it was so wrong that a father um you know could be expected to to not be there for his wife and his child the first like at least a week of the child's life we had saved a time wanting over the pregnancies so that he could take at least a week off but we wanted like two weeks off and they didn't want to do it which I understand like they you know need him as an employer but we had discussed this with him with his employer long time in advance like when I was like three months pregnant we told them like hey listen like we want this like time off and when it came to it it was like oh we can't give you that so I made Tom quit his job and um you know it's honestly like the best decision ever we've ever made it's him quitting that job because um we've just kind of over time evolved into this dynamic we didn't like plan for it to be this way but it worked out this way with the coaching business doing really well I was able to work from home with Marshall and then I had Tom there to help which was I don't think I would have been able to do it without him um not like run a business and raise a newborn like no way so having him there was absolutely imperative to me being able to continue my coaching business and since then you know Marshall's almost two are the coaching business has grown like three times so I think a part of that is like not I don't want to say the fear but like just like it was really motivating because I knew like hey I have to do this like there's no choice I have a husband and I have a son that are you know expecting not expecting but that I want to provide for so that was a huge motivation like I'm gonna make this happen and we did and over the last two years like this is just the dynamic that we've evolved into but we love it so much like we truly like believe that this is I don't want to say you know it's for everybody like you make your own decision whatever's right for you I love that we both get to spend so much time with Marshall like where his parents you know it shouldn't be in my opinion other people raising my son and I'm really really grateful that we get to be the one to raise our son I'm just gonna give you some ideas on what you can do to make these things happen for yourself number one I am definitely going to promote this start your own business yes you can do it like you if you're sitting here thinking oh I could I can't do that like I don't know what would I do first of all you need to get out of that mentality yes you can sort of business we all have our own special you know skill something that we're good at something that we're talented x1 is if you know if you're if you like your job if it's not an option for you if you don't want that to be an option for you get a promotion you know demanded promotion and when I say demand don't walk into your boss's office and say I demand a promotion now because Mallorcaing told me to and no please don't do that no there's actually a really good book that if anybody is interested just comment and I will link you to it that talks about the kind of a verbage to use to get a promotion you know to show your worth to your employer to show that you're deserving of an a promotion so getting a promotion you know just in general can help to give you a little extra time or just relaxation to do what you want to do and then also another side of the point is ask for less hours like if you are happy with the amount of money you're making but you're overworked demand that you work less and again don't go in there and say I demand a work less you've got to do it in a positive way next one get help yes you can get help you are capable of asking your husband to you know give you a night off or asking you know or hiring an Annie and you might be thinking oh I can't afford that yes you can if it's something that you truly want and need you can make it work you will figure it out so hire an Annie for one day a week whatever to allow you to go out and have fun and just be alone remember who you are outside of being a mother yes you can hire a maid you know hire an assistant whatever like you can do it and you'll make it work and if you own a business and you're doing it all on your own you actually are way more likely to make more money if you have help if you invest in somebody to help you you are probably going to be capable of making a lot more money it's all about how you see it and you have to stay positive so yeah to end it you know it's just it all comes down to I love this quote in the book Jen Sincero writes I talk about all the time I love this book you are about us she says don't be the kind of person that just takes what you can get be the type of person that creates what you want so you have to you have to go out and create it and you have to believe in yourself it's such a big part of it believe that you can and don't let your fears paralyze you you know demand in a good way of what you want from your husband and what you want from your kids and what you want from your employer or from your yourself man these things and make them happen in a positive way you will be so much happier with your life in the books you talks a lot about like raising your vibration and for a long time I thought that was like super lame like or is your vibration like raise your frequency what is that that's dumb it's really true like I don't know how to explain it but when I trust in the universe and myself you know to get where I want to be it happens and you know if you focus on negative you're going to get negative if you focus on positive positive things are going to happen to you so I truly truly believe in that 100% and I truly believe that the universe gives you opportunities you know to better yourself in your life it's just we have to be conscious of these opportunities that come our way and we have to be willing to take them and not let you know fear stunt us so I hope you guys enjoyed this video and it wasn't too long and I didn't ramble I had a lot of coffee I'm gonna finish my coffee actually I wanted to share with other people like you can you know make this balance work for you it's not something that just magically happened to me I'm not super lucky I mean I am like I am very grateful for the life that I have so grateful but I worked my butt off to get here and I made this happen it just didn't magically happen like we work hard so that we can be with our son and you know we can have one income and I don't make a ton of money like I am in no way like rich or whatever I mean I'm rich and love and comfort like we're comfortable and you know we don't we live very simply like we don't spend a lot of money we don't go out to eat a lot when we do I'm like very smart about like where we're gonna go like I don't want to go to expensive place like me and Tom will either split a meal or me and Marshall will split a meal we don't shop much at all and yeah I mean then usually my mom is the babysitter and she doesn't charge us I don't know I'm making pay me to hang out with my grandson a lot of them so we don't spend a lot of money um yeah it's like just we're comfortable and I would rather not be wealthy and just be able to like have more time to myself and for my kid and for my husband and um but ultimately I do work very hard to be able to at least provide for them and be comfortable um you know we have a savings account for Marshall for college and um an emergency fund and I invest money into the market like I'm so adult it's crazy a couple years ago I was not like this at all though use your brain believe in yourself um demand you know from others what you need and a positive way and yeah I hope if anything you you take from this that you can do it 100% you can it's a decision that you need to make and then you need to make happen take action believe in yourself and take action I'm done talking now I love you guys bye