 Hey, just a heads up, don't get too attached to any of the hamsters mentioned in this video. Because they're all dead. And I would say that no hamsters were harmed in the making of this video. Well, I mean, no hamsters were harmed while I made this video. They're all still dead, but some hamsters... They got harmed. Just keep watching. If there's anything I've learned that the internet just loves is stupid drama and cute animals. So I'm gonna talk about all the cute hamsters that I've... enslaved. Our family enslaved quite a lot. It was my twin sister who really wanted to pet hamster and bugged my mom to get one. And my mom being super nice, spotter the cage, and we bought everything else, including a little black hamster. We named him Squeaks. And he liked to do this really cute thing where he put all of his food in his hamster wheel and was made of plastic so he could do that. And then late at night, he would just run in it and it would sound like... It was like a more annoying morocca. I actually made a comic on paper inspired by this hamster. Wow, you got a hamster? Yeah, but he doesn't do much. Well, yeah, this type of hamster is nocturnal. Really? That means I'll hardly notice him. And then at night, he's trying to sleep, but the hamster is loud and that's keeping him awake. And the joke is that he said he'd hardly notice him and he's noticing him. It's not that funny. And I need to tell you about a dog that we have named Georgie. And actually, a little fun fact about Georgie. She was born on Election Day of 2004, which is a much cooler holiday to have a birthday on. It only comes once every four years. It's like leap year. It's more rare. So since George W. Bush won the 2004 election, we named our dog Georgie after him. Ah, and that also means that our 12th birthday was on the second. I definitely won't be able to get this video out by that time, but still. Happy birthday to you. Yay! So Georgie can get the birthday because it's her birthday and Poppy can get the girl because it's she's the girl. Do you like it? One of this tastes good. Oh. Do you like it? There's a huge waste of money. Anyway, back to rodents. This dog just loved to murder these animals. Well, I don't know if murder's the right word. No, murder's the right word. You have to understand that Georgie is a West Highland Terrier, and that breed is known for hunting small animals. So having Georgie in a hamster in the same house doesn't mix well. We had this little plastic hamster ball that we put squeaks in sometimes. The first time we put squeaks into his plastic ball, my older brother bolded him like a bowling ball. Peter don't sue me. I was vegan for a week. And Georgie thought it was a treat just for her. A treat with a heart at our shell and a juicy middle. She would go straight up a rabid wolf on that hamster ball. We didn't put squeaks inside his hamster ball anymore after that. But there's even more to say about this hamster. One day, me and my sister came home from school and squeaks was just gone. He escaped. Everyone check your pockets! We looked everywhere and we couldn't find him. We had to keep a close eye on Georgie at all times. My sister put up missing posters around the house. I don't know if those helped. We made these traps out of Duplo. Did anyone else's parents get them Duplo instead of Legos? No, only my parents were that lame. All right. We built this box thing out of Duplo. And we made these stairs going up to the top of the box. And we put lettuce on each step. And the plan was that the hamster would walk up the stairs and fall in the box. Because they're stupid. But the traps never worked. And all the hamsters we got in the future that also escaped. We made the same traps and not once did they ever work. Four days. Squeaks was missing for four days. We found his body inside the wall. He was alive. My dad was sitting on the couch relaxing. It was dead quiet and he just heard the faintest. Squeaks was inside the wall. We think he got in through our laundry shoot. I don't know what I would do if my kid's hamster was inside the wall of my house. Well, kids, now is an important time I teach you about death. My dad ended up cutting three holes in the wall and Lord squeaks out with some lettuce. Poor thing, he was probably starving. Hopefully he kept some extra food in his cheeks. So even being tormented by the dog and getting stuck in the wall for four days, Squeaks still lived a fulfilling two years of life. Hamsters don't have that long a lifespan. We buried him in the backyard. After the Squeaks dynasty, we got some more hamsters. Squeaks too, that was the next one. We thought maybe if we introduced Squeaks too to Georgie, then they could be friends and get along. I'll spare you the details of what happened that night. The next one we named Killer because he kept biting us, so get it? Killer? Yeah, he ended up getting killed. Nah, I'm just kidding. He wasn't killed. He lived along a normal hamster life. Squeaks too was killed though. I don't know if he picked up on that. We bought these three little hamsters. Seriously, they're the most adorable little things. They looked like this. I forgot their names. We'll just call them the three amigos. Ah. The lady at the pet store told us that if we bought hamsters from the same litter, they would all get along. She was obviously just trying to sell us more hamsters. Or maybe she didn't have any siblings. But these pros just hated each other. They would never stop fighting. As I was writing the script for this, I thought, well maybe they were just aggressively playing. So I googled, do hamsters play with each other just to be sure and the first thing that showed up, Dwarf Hamsters, which is what the three amigos were, are quite territorial and will not see former cage mates as old friends. They see them as threatening rivals. So there we go. You really know your hamsters lady. So we had to get to three different cages for them. We put them right next to each other and I swear they still gave each other some death glares. I actually made a video a long time ago about this time I broke one of their cages. I was cleaning it outside and for whatever reason I was like, huh, I wonder if I could stand on it. The answer, no, I couldn't. The glass broke and I blood everywhere. I still have the scar on my foot. And then all the three amigos died off. One by one. Sorry, I'm getting really emotional. We also had this other hamster named Buddy and I wasn't going to mention him because he just escaped and we never found him. Except as my mom was reading over the script because she reads over my scripts. Thanks, mom. She turned to me and said, did we ever tell you what happened to Buddy? And I said, what do you mean? She said, you know how we couldn't find him? Well, we did, but the dog got to him first. This one time I wanted to buy a hamster and I saw some that were on sale and there is this piece of paper next to the cage that said, please adopt us. Oh, shoot, I'll take one of these puppies. No, no, not an actual puppy. I meant one of the hamsters. And I named her pumpkin seed because she was that tan pumpkin seed color. But then one month after I got her, she just died for no reason, even though I loved her. She had food, she had water. This wasn't the first time I was taking care of a hamster, okay? All the other ones lived for a couple of years. I was so sad. I totally got chipped. No wonder they were on sale. They were all halfway to Death's Door. I mean, I only had the hamster for a month. I didn't get that emotionally attached to it. But then later I got a different hamster that I paid full price for and I named her Gumbal. Unlike all the other hamsters that were technically my sisters, this hamster was all mine. And she didn't have anything dramatic happened to her. She had a good hamster life. I was pretty sad when Gumbal died. We lavish these hamsters, okay? We loved them. At least my sister did. She cried when they died and made little gravestones for them. Our mom used to always say, there's no point in being a skinny hamster. She gave them a lot of treats. So much so that I got to the point that the hamster would come out looking for my mom just by the sound of her voice. All in all, there's about seven dead hamsters buried in our backyard. Rip and Peace little bros.